#this is tumblr we all had an mcr phase

[wildwoodart]

Just tell me I’m Emo at this point. Like we all know it.

[daeluin]

thank you so much to @newdejavuu for tagging me in this fun little game! as per the rules, I shuffled my spotify “on repeat” playlist and chose the first ten songs!

wow i never did one of these chain thingies on tumblr so let's give it a try! I know it says your playlist on repeat but that's currently my 69 fob playlist and that would be boring so let's go for my random playlist that has all my songs:

the carpal tunnel of love - fall out boy (im a joke of myself literally the first song lmao. anyways this is my favorite song of ioh and it was my favorite fob song for half a decade i love it that much and fob NEEDS to play it live)

vampire money - my chemical romance (it may not seem like it but teen me was the biggest mcr girlie u guys don't know how much i was into the mcrmy. i never mourned something as bad as when mcr split. literally cried for weeks)

baam - momoland (ask me how i got obsessed with the overwatch korean pro player scene and how that got me into k-pop. better yet, don't)

rocket man - elton john (listen since i was two i was obsessed with elton john. the first discography i downloaded on netscape was his. no wonder i turned up gay)

national anthem - lana del rey (ok let's be honest we all had a lana phase and born to die is still a really good album. sad everything after that was shit)

snowed under - keane (god i was SO into keane in high school. I went to see them TWICE in buenos aires. they were the 3rd emo band for me <3)

for what it's worth - placebo (i mean how can this be surprising?)

how to be a heartbreaker - marina and the diamonds (i blame all the otp remixes in 2012 tumblr for this)

black jesus - lady gaga (I MEAN HOW CAN THIS BE SURPRISING??? there's an overall theme here)

lies greed misery - linkin park (this is one of the few post 2005 lp songs i can stand but linkin park was my start in bandom everything always comes back to them and hybrid theory/meteora will always have a special place in my heart)

bonus: violencia - el mató a un policía motorizado (no thoughts just listen to argentinian punk rock im no longer asking)

[rosetyler42]

hi. the whole mcr post thing from yesterday has crossed my dash today. I don't know you at all, but I would like to say, on behalf of the mcr fandom. they are assholes. you did literally nothing wrong. even if you had known it was an mcr post this is fucking tumblr - stealing other fandom's posts is a time-honored tradition. mcr is all about being yourself, no matter how unpalatable that may be to someone else. you hurt 0 individuals in the making of that post, so you have nothing to be sorry for. be yourself. be unpalatable. be ungovernable. <3 hope you have a great day and keep posting vampires.

That's part of what's honestly so weird about all this. Like, I get them having high emotions about this, but it's still kind of funny that they're freaking out about a post being derailed on the same site that spawned such classics as Color Theory, KUNG POW PENIS, having a Supernatural gif for everything, the Harry Potter houses Toasting knife post, speech bubble post gags, and more. And then there's the whole "cringe" fandom angle. (Not that I think HT is cringe myself, but I know many do.) Which again...this is Tumblr. Even if Cringe culture weren't dead, this is the Cringe Fandom website. I mean, I remember being on here around the time of Superwholock back when I was in my Doctor Who phase. Very few of us are cool on here. I post largely for myself and things I find funny, relatable, fun, cute, whatever. As well as showing friends and other people in the fandom(s.) I've met, such as @broppyhater16 the one you probably saw in the post commenting on my meme.

Thank you, though, my fren. Your understanding and support mean alot. I don't really go here, but the ones who have reached out to me have been great, and I wish you all the best. We also agree on many things: the important thing is being yourself and doing what you like, no matter what the rest of the world says. Don't worry, I'll keep on keeping on when it comes to my interests, be it HT, Doctor Who, Laika, BATIM, KP amd anything else regardless of those that call it cringe. And I wish you the same confidence. :)

PS: I might suggest you send some love to Broppyhater16 too. I'm not sure how they're taking this, but I mostly got into this fight because I felt it was wrong for them to have gotten yelled at (It was mostly "THIS ISN'T ABOUT A CHILDREN'S FILM, IT'S ABOUT MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON MCR") Not anything particularly rude/threatening, but they were still yelling at them for something they didn't do.

[meat-wentz]

you are an mcr blogger stop posting about fob and leave it to the real fans

okay so i wanna actually talk about this because it’s something i’ve seen a lot recently and kinda came to a head last night with fob trending.

ya gotta understand that there was an obvious influx of bandom with the return of mcr. like myself, although i’ve had dedicated fan accounts on other platforms, made this account so i could actually *engage* with the tour in a way i couldn’t engage with it on other platforms. you gotta understand i’ve been on tumblr for 14 years (in a week it will be my main’s 14th birthday!) but i also haven’t been actively involved in tumblr fan spaces in a really really long time, like a decade probably. so this account came with some adjusting, especially considering how different of a space tumblr is (more suited for long posting, analysis, ongoing jokes and more stable friendships/relationships to mutuals). so yeah i came here for tour but stayed because it’s really one of the best online spaces for community i could recommend (not surprising, i’m still friends on facebook with a bunch of my mutuals from 2010).

but also something to consider is, for a lot of people, this is their first dive into bandom in any meaningful way. not only are they making connections in a generally positive environment, they’re also engaging with material in a way that you can’t really get on any other platform (analysis! parallels! deep dives! inside jokes that last more than three days when meme cycles run dry after 24 hours in other places! the ability to say fuck without punishment! a more open space for queerness to thrive! and most of the time, a general welcome to horny content) so there’s also an adjustment time for everyone else too, which is why we keep having to have the same conversation about bandom racism every few weeks, and now too why fob is coming up in reference to petekey, because mcr/fob crossover fans are noticing how the mcr fandom consistently reduces fob’s line of work down to a punchline (especially considering many of which do not engage with fob at all).

personally, now that tour is over, i started posting about fob because they are an equally important band to me and because they mean so so so much to my heart and wow! i finally have a space to talk about it with people who are interested in hearing my thoughts about it (or not, if i’m not for you, i’m not for you), AND i wanna hear about and engage with all the cool people on here about their thoughts too! and i think a lot of fans now have the brain space/dash space to actually talk about fob, or engage for the first time with fob, which is so awesome!!! the way i’ve always approached tumblr is as a personalized archive, so that’s why i’ve been posting things that may have been posted before, doing intro lore and jokes and dives, because i like having a place i know i can reference in the future.

i know this is an arduous process for people who are dedicated fob bloggers and have been for years, to see a lot of people blogging about fob solely in reference to a ship for months on end and then they get recognition on the trending page for the same damn thing but this time saying “stop doing that” i know it’s hard to see your favorite band only recognized not by their artistry or their members or their music or any of the cool things about them, but by their relationship to another band. i feel like right now it’s a transitional phase for a lot of people into bandom blogging just in general, i know a lot of blogs who have never been bandom blogs but now are dedicated bandom bloggers just in the past year! so there’s adjustments to be made, stuff to learn, annoying conversations to have, but don’t doubt for one second, i hold fob in my heart and always have and i am so so so grateful to have a space and community to express that love with. i’m sorry to all the fob bloggers out there that are seeing this awkward kinda messy transition, i know it’s annoying af and will continue to be but know there are bloggers out here who are genuinely in it for their love of fob and lots of new fans out there who will look to you to guide them into their new favorite band!!! for now there’s going to be a lot of rehashing of ground already beaten to death so apologies on behalf of the post-mcr wreckage.

to you, personally, anon, idk what you consider a real fan but i don’t have to prove my credentials to you, so sorry if that’s what you were looking for. like i mean this with all good intention, but if you don’t like seeing me around, you’re totally cool to block me! you deserve to experience your favorite band the way you want to and at the end of the day i’m just some guy, don’t let me be the person that makes you upset to come on tumblr and engage in a way that feels meaningful and positive for you.

[theeeveetamer]

Black Eagles FEW Glow Up Tier List

Now that we have the redesigns for the BE as well, I have opted to put them into the tier list of glow ups! Here we go, and these are ordered within tiers:

Detailed opinions on the BL found here!

Here’s the tier maker list I used as well

Ok so if I had to summarize the BE as a whole: they feel like when a tech company decides to completely change their UI for no discernible reason aside from making it look different. It’s usually not better, it’s occasionally much worse, and the changes they decided to focus on are always the ones no one asked for (Think, like, Tumblr changing the saturation of their blue tone instead of fixing the search bar, that kind of thing).

1) Linhardt. I’ll be honest I still don’t really care for the design, but I disliked his OG design so much that there was really nowhere to go but up for me. It’s the happy medium between the “WAY too much bangs” of his Academy design and the “no bangs at all where did they go” of his War design.

2) Dorothea. She looks almost exactly the same, except her hair is now easier to animate shorter. And there’s a braid now, I guess. It’s not bad, it’s just kind of boring. The definition of “we needed to make this different but we didn’t exactly know how. I would have liked to see something a little more different or complex.

3) Ferdinand. Same deal as Dorothea really, it’s almost exactly the same. It’s just “his academy hair, but slightly longer but not too long so we can animate it. Again, there was so much they could have done with it and it feels like they didn’t put in any effort. Why not give us ponytail Ferdie, or Ferdie with braids, or just something like that? Felix got a long ponytail so we know they’re not that against the concept.

4) Edelgard. I honestly have a hard time quantifying this one. I definitely like it better than the fire truck red dress and the Leia buns, but I also honestly don’t think they were redesigning that version. I stuck it in sidegrade because it’s one of the only designs that seems to be taking cues much more heavily from the Academy version rather than the War version, which I find... interesting, to say the least. And it’s definitely not significantly better or worse than the academy version, IMO.

5) Hubert. Ok hear me out on this one. Yes, he looks like an MCR reject. However, he always looked like an MCR reject. It’s just that now he looks like he’s in his tween emo phase instead of his teen emo phase. It’s definitely not better, but it’s honestly not as bad as it could have been. Which brings us to...

6) Petra. I don’t know what they were doing here tbh. Her original hair had so much flow and movement and they basically just stuck a helmet on it. I don’t really understand why. I don’t think it’s a bad direction to go, I just think it could have been executed much better so it didn’t look like... helmet hair.

7) Caspar. My boy. Look how they massacred my boy. From Academy to War design Caspar had hands down one of the absolute best glow ups of any of the cast. All they had to do was not mess it up, and what do they do? They mess it up HARD. First off, what’s with the random scar coming out of absolutely nowhere? And the hair, he looks like he just stuck a fork in an electrical socket. Which, while definitely on brand for Caspar, is not necessarily the look I wanna see for him.

8) Bernadetta. My god. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone above the age of 3 wear their hair like that in public. Interestingly, I’d say that Bernie is the other character where they seem to be visibly taking a lot more cues from the Academy version than the war version. I mean it’s literally the exact same hair, just with a stupid bangs ponytail. No. I have too many opinions on this even just for this post.

[patrick-hockstutter]

Modern!Bowers Gang:

Patrick:

Really into cinematography and photography of the unsettling

Never captions his Instagram posts

Goes live on Instagram a lot, even though people really wished he wouldn’t

Makes art out of dead animals or animal bones he finds

Think Banksy, but with roadkill

He’ll take some (somehow) tasteful photos of them, post them, then leave the scene there for some unexpecting bystander to find

Has a nosering (fight me)

Never uses incognito mode

If someone happens to stumble upon his search history, he’s not paying their therapy bill

He likes reading smut more than he likes watching porn

A ps4 guy

Loves spooky games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Until Dawn and Death Stranding

He’s not really into school, but he surprisingly reads a lot when he’s alone in his room

Only about things he likes though

Abnormal psych, criminal psych, and sometimes some zoology (u kno y)

Watches serial killer documentaries like he’s paid to

Listens to grunge, nu metal, and 80s alt

Won’t admit it, but sometimes listens to Joji

He’s not super into emo music, but he’s the only one who will listen to it with Victor (he fckn vibes to Brand New)

Ironically uses a Zune

Has an Android but lowkey wishes he had an iPhone

Doesn’t have a computer, just jailbreaks/hacks the school issued laptop

Has a black line tattooed around some of his fingers, one of his wrists, and the shell of his ear

Has a foot tattoo

Has a fucking Juul

Watches LeafyIsHere on YouTube (tell me I’m wrong)

Spends too much time on Reddit

Wears flannels, skinny jeans, and Vans (a beanie if he’s cold)

Mostly cycles through the same three or four outfits

Wears the same pair of Vans every single day

Victor:

Big into aromatherapy

He uses lavender soaps and has an essential oil diffuser in his room

Uses incognito mode to watch Vampire Diaries

A Nintendo ass b i t c h

He has the gray Switch Lite

He brings his Switch with him everywhere (yes he’s that guy)

But what else are you gonna do when you wanna ignore Patrick?

Watches conspiracy theories about ghosts, cryptids, and aliens

Also big into podcasts (mostly true crime and conspiracy ones)

He listens to them on his headphones while he takes walks or draws

Posts his drawings on Tumblr

Does art streams on Twitch when he gets really bored

Has an eyebrow piercing (but it’s a small stud one, not a ring)

Has little tattoos on his hands

Wears bomber jackets, skinny jeans, joggers, army jackets, converse, and combat boots

The boy has style okay

Had an emo phase but still listens to the music (especially Tiny Moving Parts)

The emo phase was pretty short because Henry made fun of him so much

He just fucking liked MCR and Taking Back Sunday a lot, okay?

And Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens, but he doesn’t readily admit that

Now mostly listens to new wave, synth pop, and lofi hiphop

His favorite bands are Drab Majesty and Choir Boy (look up their new album btw)

Has a black iPhone and a space gray MacBook Pro

Uses Apple Music

Vapes, but only fruity flavors

Watches BoJack Horseman

Doesn’t really eat fast food but never passes up an M&M McFlurry

Paints his (and Patrick’s) nails black

One time Patrick caught him doing a facemask, so Patrick put one on and started chasing him around screaming as a joke

Cue: hmm… this feels kinda good tho

So now Victor and Patrick have secret mini spa days

Drives a Subaru

Belch:

Makes Spotify playlists like he’s paid to

He’s just really good at putting songs together

He tried to get into music theory, but he wasn’t one for actually making his own songs

Really into metal (obvi) but also likes some classic rock and punk stuff

Has records hung up side by side all around his room where the wall meets the ceiling

Still buys CDs

His Instagram feed is full of vintage cars and custom import cars

Fast and Furious is his favorite movie series

His favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead

But he also loves early 2000s comedies

Has a mini projector to watch movies on his room wall

Wears band tees, flannels, jean jackets, Carhartt stuff, d a d  h a t s

Really wants a tattoo but always gets nervous

Uses incognito mode to watch porn and buy some of his band tees from Hot Topic

Only one in the gang that uses Facebook (Mama Huggins made him so he could keep in contact with family)

Follows a few meme pages but also some cooking ones so he can send his mom any cool recipes he finds

Victor lowkey makes fun of him for actually using the Facebook page

Invests money in really good headphones and car speakers

Has a black iPhone

It’s always at 20% battery cause it’s always connected to his headphones, Bluetooth speaker, or car stereo

Him and Victor FaceTime when they’re bored

Sometimes they won’t even say much, they just like the over the phone company

Doesn’t smoke, but sometimes hits Vic’s vape

A social vaper if you will

Watches Idubbbz and Filthy Frank on YouTube

His favorite fast food place is Wendy’s

Not really into video games but fucking slays at Guitar Hero

And when Rock Band came out nobody saw him for like two weeks

Has a black Hydroflask with band stickers on it

Henry:

He plays a lot of Xbox

Mostly Halo, COD, Destiny, any first-person shooter really

Baits people on Xbox Live cause he thinks it’s hilarious

He’s also a fucking cyberbully but we all expected that

Has Victor’s old iPhone

Never fucking charges it

He’ll text you back in 3-5 business days (if at all)

And if you try to call him he’ll block your number

Plays iMessage games like cup pong and 8 ball with Belch

The only social media he uses is Snapchat and Tinder to look at girls

In one of his Tinder photos he’s holding a fish (srrynotsrry)

Doesn’t really listen to too much music

He doesn’t dislike music, just usually prefers to do things in silence

His mind is chaotic enough, he doesn’t need background noise

But he will listen to Cigarettes After Sex and TV Girl on a really low volume when he goes to sleep

Uses incognito mode to pick and choose random soft or angsty songs that he likes to put into a bedtime playlist

Otherwise just listens to whatever Belch listens to

Has a tattoo on his wrist

Takes a lot of drives into the countryside/national forests/mountains with Belch

Takes a lot of scenery photos, but never posts them anywhere or shows anyone except Victor

Still smokes cigarettes (he thinks vaping is douchey)

Watches South Park and American Dad

If he’s willing to spend money to go see a movie, he’s going to an IMAX theater

Sometimes he likes 3D, but most of the time it just hurts his eyes after a while

Longboards everywhere

Needs prescription glasses but refuses to wear them

They’re mostly for reading, which he doesn’t do anyway

But he does listen to audiobooks sometimes

Likes Frappuccinos but will kill you before you find out

He orders them through Uber Eats under a fake name so nobody will find out

BONUS: all four!

Victor still has his childhood GameCube that they play Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Melee on

Henry is banned from playing Mario Party after breaking a controller while beating Patrick with it

Patrick only ever picks Waluigi in Mario Kart and everyone is sick of it

When they play Rock Band Patrick is on bass, Henry plays guitar, Belch absolutely slays the drums, and Vicky boy sings his lil heart out

One night a week they order a shit ton of Dominos and make a drinking game out of watching Vine compilations

Victor does everyone’s birth charts

They collectively made a fake Tinder account on Patrick’s phone and catfish guys with it

They all try to one up each other doing vape tricks yikes

They buy bags of chips and candy from Costco and lounge around eating them on weekends

They’re banned from the city metro busses because Belch’s car was in the shop for a week and that week was hell for every bus driver in the city

[pixiesandroseslove]

What your favourite theatre character says about you p2

Any Dylan Saunders Character: you have big grandfather energy.

Aldonza (La Mancha): You've been through shit, but you're still the most stable bitch in the house.

Eponine (Les Miserables): we all know you've had a tumblr phase, stop trying to hide your MCR merch.

Jamila (Firebringer): chaotic bisexual

Jeremy (BMC): you're a simp

Melchior (Spring Awakening): you're not as sweet and innocent as you'd like people to believe.

Ogie (Waitress): you have your heart in the right place but try to be less Joe Goldberg.

Orpheus (Hadestown): stupid hoe

Trina (Falsettos): you've broken down many times but you know everything's is going to be alright.

Woof (Hair): antiwar hoe

[eraserheadbabies]

rules: tag people you wanna get to know better 🖤

tagged by @wallaceandgromit​ thank u legend

your name and then what you would have named yourself: rowan ! and idk what i would have named myself tbh...honestly i like the idea of keeping my first name and changing my middle name to jude and going by rj :)) but i dont mind my name 

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): virgo sun, aries rising, aquarius moon

when did you join tumblr and why?: 2014-ish i think??? and it was for s*perwh*l*ck im sorry class

top 5 fandoms: ok i hate the word fandom BUT i guess i would say just film in general, always sunny, fob/mcr (i never grew out of my emo phase), x-files, and parks and rec lmao

top 5 favorite films: scott pilgrim vs. the world, the florida project, donnie darko, the social network, and the secret life of walter mitty

go to song when you wanna Feel something: right now its all these things that i’ve done by the killers

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i do not have one 

a song that makes you feel seen: chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers

if you could have any career: not to be that bitch but film director honestly

do you have a type?: tall, skinny, non-threatening men and every woman ever

what does your heart/soul yearn for: to not constantly worry about everyone secretly hating me i think

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: watch movies and be gay

favorite subjects in school: probably english bc im gay and mentally ill

where does your soul feel most at home: when i’m with my gf and my friends

top 5 fictional characters: jared dunn, ben wyatt, abed nadir, mac mcdonald, greg hirsch

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry:��the part in the good place where you learn that chidi wrote himself that note that says “there is no answer, but eleanor is the answer,” the bojack horseman episode where sarah lynn dies, (along with like. seventeen other bojack horseman episodes), and the part at the end of silicon valley where the interviewer asks richard “are you upset you didn’t get to change the world?” and richard says “i think we did okay”

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: rainy and gloomy!!

top 3 characters you kin with: abed nadir, ben wyatt, fox mulder

favorite medium of art: tv/movies and music

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: introvert

a favorite literary quote: this one was hard and i’m not sure if its my fave but “Julia cared about Annemarie, but Annemarie didn’t see it. Because I was standing the way.” -when you reach me, rebecca stead

some of your favorite books: when you reach me by rebecca stead, the song of achilles by madeline miller, it’s kind of a funny story by ned vizzini, it by stephen king

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: ireland!!

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: the 80s or ancient greece lmao

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: drums

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i vibe with artemis

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: 

tagging: @windcrys​ @dogmotifs​ and even tho i know u guys well im also tagging @sharknados​ @milo-fanarts​ @strawberry-problems​ don’t feel obligated !! just thot it would be fun hehe :)

[milfygerard]

👀 since ur in a rambly mood & ur a fan of Taylor swift as well as mcr I always wanted to rant about the different ways that the 2 treat their fans like not in a bad way but I always found it interesting experiencing TS first & how she's built this huge trust w her fans & then coming to the mcr fandom where the band has literally talked about killing us 😂 like I just think it's so interesting for some reason & it really helps me appreciate that mcr treats us like normal ppl?

oh wow yeah its definitely like, a whole different universe? MCR isn’t really interested in celebrity the same way taylor swift is, they tried to sort of separate their personal lives to an extent. MCR is more of a mythic figure, which requires this level of disconnection (you know, gerard of arc?). The music, while always personal, also is there to tell a story with intense poetic imagery and arching metaphors about god and death and survival. This leads to a very different fan experience, as we have this sort of fiction to work in alongside the personal. Gerard learned very early (like mid revenge) that separating your musical/famous public persona from your private life is fucking essential for survival. No matter how much you love your fans, a divide is a must if you want to survive. Overencouraging the parasocial aspect of fame can be deeply harmful for both you and your fans, which leads us to taylor swift

Taylor swift has been in the industry since she was sixteen. Taylor swift is a child star who did a really good job of hiding that she was a child star, which honestly explains so much about her approach to fame. Until recently, there was no real divide between the personal and public in taylors life. We know her mom, her dad, her brother, her best friends. We follow her tumblr and have read her diaries. Taylor swift is your best friend in a way that no other celebrity on her level has been able to really capture. She was most well liked during the #relatable phase in pop culture with tumblr and cats and not needing a man. She is an expert at connection. This is reflected in her music, which is described as her diary entries. There’s little room for fiction or characters in taylor’s music, if she writes something, the assumption is that it came from a place of personal honesty and experience. Taylor, no matter what, needs to feel like your friend.

so this is where the divide is. Gerard became famous at 24, had control over how he was portrayed, and was working from the point of view of a comic book writer interpreting his life through fiction. Taylor swift was sixteen, had her manager who went on to betray her and her literal mom, and writes like shes interpreting her own diary into lyrics. Now I haven’t even touched on the divide due to social media, or due to mcr having a choice with labels all trying to crawl up gerard ways ass, and being able to have a LOT more control over their contract compared to a fourteen year old girl getting rejected by label after label before being approached by big machine. 

uh. I don’t know if i answered your question like, at all but yeah thats an outline of an essay i didn’t know i wanted to write

[notwhoiwanttobeyet]

tumblr journal [1]

NOTE: hi pLeasE don’t read this. this is just a way of coping with my mental illnesses. this is completely unedited, highly personal and i stRonGLy advise you look away. i hope you’re having a good day! happy holidays :)

also don’t mind the spotify links along the way; just some songs i almost or did cry to while writing this 

tw: suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks, (breast) cancer

hey tumblr, 

it’s been a while since i’ve really vented. a lot of us use tumblr as a copying mechanism (me included) and i think it’s important i evaluate my current situation and break things down. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1WVunZLZM2zLTm5rAvKZkF?si=a94u_JAsRX2VCWOD6z4l-Q

exam season is over; i’m on summer break. and that’s great. no more school. no more exams and assignments and testing and all that FUCKING BULLSHIT THAT THE SYSTEM PUTS US THROUGH. i’m sorry, i’m trying to stay calm but it’s so fuckiNg hard. i’m literally going to cry i- so yeah, as we know, towards the end of the year school fucked me over and i really, reaLLY, REALLY wanted to die. so when school finished i was like “oh i must be all good now, right?” but i wasn’t. i was left feeling so numb, to be completely honest (and cliche).  

then i got sick which was soooo fucked. apparently a lot of people who went to our small friend kris kringle gathering got sick which sucks but because i spent so much of this year in isolation, i forgot what it felt like to be sick and oh bOY it fucking sucked. i over exaggerated because i’m sensitive and wanted to die. i was sick for like a week and my parents quarantined me because my mum is recovering from a breast cancer surgery and couldn’t afford to get sick so i was like locked in my room- on my own- which yeah, i do anyway but this felt sooo different. this felt like, completely fuckEd because my parents were wearing masks around the house and would leave food in my doorway, etc. i felt like a complete MONSTER to the people i love. i also obviously couldn’t hug them or anything, leaving me touch starved and ugh- it just wasn’t a great experience. 

also my mum is recovering fine and stuff but it’s an emotional fucking time for everyone and i’m so stupid i haven’t told anyone about my mum being sick and all. like people don’t ask why i’m acting up because i’m ALWAYS acting up. i’m always sensitive and angry and having mood swings. that’s just me, being mentally ill. so no one asks why i’m worried. my mum has/had BREAST CANCER- brooo. she’s had one surgery which went well and will most likely have to have chemo and/or radiation in the coming year. we get the results back after christmas. so that’s a thing. 

i have a secure group of friends which i’ve always wanted, but it doesn’t feel right. it never feels right. like today the three of us went shopping and THEY WENT CRAZY- i was so stressed and had literally like 6 different mental breakdowns in the 2 hours we were out. they were bumping into people, running around, trying on every item of clothing ironically in every store. that shit stresses me out. and there’s nothing wrong with that- they’re good people and they’re not doing anything wrong really - it’s just normal teenage stuff. but i’m note normal, i’m super anxious and everyone was looking at us and it made me sooo uncomfortable. like- i could elaborate more but thinking about it hurts. i felt like i was their mum or something, shepherding them around and making sure they didn’t break anything else. they- UGH// they broke a perfume bottle and rudely ran away from a teacher i have a good reputation with. like i said, they’re just normal teenagers but it fucks me up. it’s not them, it’s me. on the bright side i saw this same lesbian couple i saw the other day again :) i never see wlw or mlm couples in public really so it makes me soo happy when i see them :) i also saw this girl in an unnus annus hoodie and i was gonna say something but i’m too *anxious* so i just stared at her until she looked at me weirdly and i ran out of the store. oH and there was a girl in an mcr shirt ahh-- she was really pretty but i was too busy running it was a whole thing like my mum was coming to pick me up and i had 10 minutes so i ran up from one end of the mall to the other and then upstairs to this store to but this fucking wonderwomen shirt and then i had to run all the way back and i’m not the most athletic to say the least and i wanted to CRY but yeah. what did i learn today? people aren’t for me. friends aren’t for me. and again i know i’m built to be alone. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/7wTqEW5nrMhvyEhEyTnOMd?si=ata2BwOPQji3twov9wTZWg

i’m really thirsty. ew not like tha- i fucking hate society

cinnamon rolls not gender rolls. wait my friend got that on a poster let me see if i can find it,,,

yeah here it is ^^^^

also: my hair. i’m so happy having it the length it is but mAn i just- i just- i hate myself lol. like i don’t know what else to say. i think i’m ugly and every time i look in the mirror i want to cry, and it’s going to be like that forever so i need to just except that. i am ugly, i hate myself. like- bro come on. it’s been like this forever and it’s going to continue to be like this forever so i need to stop fucking crying over it.

https://open.spotify.com/track/05JtBVWRtSzqLoj7jj30kn?si=30W4pt7dT8G3cbzaUMqldw

oh my god this song i’m about to cry. this is what i want. why can’t i just be- not me!!! 

these past few days i’ve literally been playing minecraft bed wars all day. like all day. and it was okay but now my eyes hurt and my head hurts and my hands hurt and i hate myself and everything hurts. 

also- music doesn’t feel right. it’s been like this for a while now, it’s getting better though. before i couldn’t listen to any music at all - now i’ve been listening to kid krow on repeat : ) 

god bless you, conan. my number one song currently is *cough* E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE (which they are btw) which is- fucking terrifying and funny at the same time. i genuinely like CORPSE though- i’ve watched every among us stream and i love his songs- in the past i would have considered myself a simp (?) maybe (?) but i had a nightmare about it and i can’t awifjisenf simp no more. i still appreciate him, i just- had an awakening. 

sexuality crises also suck a whole bunch. there was a 1-2 day phase a few weeks ago where i was low key PRAYING to be a lesbian lmfao. like it sounds stupid but i was crying over that shit. background info: no i’m not one of those straight girls, i’m a bisexual female who’s almost a full on raging homosexual except i am attracted to men. and i wish i wasn’t, believe me when i say that. but i have realised i am bi so it’s okay. i thought i was a lesbian and awilfjnawr labels but no, i am slightly attracted to men sometimes. but to answer your question if i am lucky enough my future wife and i will be married and living in a cottage. 

ugh. life. bru h i’m actually a train wreck- i had an anxiety attack crying trying to find my childhood tinkerbelle and friends dolls the other night. and then to make matters worse, i found them in a box with a whole bunch of other dolls in the same box including StRawBerrY ShoRtCaKe doLLs and i smelt my stawberry shortcake doll hesitantly while crying and she still smelled like her strawberry scent and i was DEAD. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F6IbA7di42uPc3cff8PXV?si=COKcG_UbQh-GhKYJ5vtIgg

ugh. so this has been my update so far. oh wait-

christmas. holy shit how is it christmas. i want dEatH like. reasons why i’m sad for christmas: it doesn’t feel like christmas so i feel like i’m not going to enjoy it, i’ve had no motivation to clean my room so the contents of my wardrobe is all over my floor because i was mid resorting the drawers when i got sick, i’ve wanted to ask for doc martens and my chemicals romance + other artists’ merch all year but i have SEVERE ANXIETY so of course i didn’t and now my parents have gone and bought me a new phone or something which of course i’m grateful for but my iphone 6s works just fine. it’s a waste of money which we need at the moment but because i’m too anxious i didn’t ask for anything this year so my parents have just chosen to spoil me and- aW SHIT! i can’t=

anyway so that’s my bullcrap life. i mean my bullshit rant. am i glad i did this? yes. do i feel any better? kinDa? i don’t know okay. what am i going to do now? i don’t know. probably lie on the floor and drown in self pity in hopes of melting into the abyss. i might read my book which i’ve yet to finish. maybe reading can be my knew things, seeing as i have zero hobbies. i read like once in a blue moon.

this is it for now, good luck, future me. 

sincerely, 

jordan ♡

https://open.spotify.com/track/7B3z0ySL9Rr0XvZEAjWZzM?si=HyWPKutjRTuPumafim7_Vw

[nevergenders]

What got you into My Chemical Romance??

this is actually a funny story ! i’ve posted it several other times on my blog so i should probably put it in my faq but here we go again!

so my older brother was into mcr when he was 12 and i was 6, and since i was one of those siblings that wanted to be just like their older brother i listened along with him ! and i love thinking about this because we had mcr’s first three albums and my parents went through the lyrics booklets and we were only allowed to listen to the ones with no bad words in them ALSDKJF which resulted in me hearing a small snippet of teenagers on the radio and going >:0 “i wanna listen to THAT one!” and my mom was like NO and for some reason i can still remember that my favorite song that young was the jetset life is gonna kill you

but anyways i stopped listening to mcr all the time as i grew older, but GOD here’s were it gets on an interesting tangent. so! as a middle schooler, if you know who jacksfilms is on youtube, i watched his videos religiously, and at some point he announced he would be one of the characters in a webseries called mymusic. so i watched it, and if you’ve never seen it before just know that all the characters of this business are named after the genres of music they listen to (except for jack, his name is intern 2). ANYWAYS there was a character called scene and all she ever talked about was mcr, fall out boy, panic at the disco, and black veil brides, and i went “oh my god i remember those bands, they’re super good!” so i just. started listening to them again. and as a 13 year old i made the decision to Have My Emo Phase except it just never stopped. i was on facebook bandom at first (wow!) and eventually switched to tumblr.

and there you have it! thank you youtuber jack douglass for starting this mess in my life, i still watch your videos all the time

[cmtrydrve]

            hey ! my name’s link , i go by he/they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! my only personality trait is being a bts , sment & girl groups enthusiast . i’m an aries sun with a pisces moon , which means i can be aggro , am always loud & obnoxious , but am a secretly sensitive softy , so plz be nice to me !!! this is my child , mikey , who’s stuck in 2006 & never grew out of his emo phase ( take that , mom ! ) . he’s also an aries , because my jjks always end up like that . hopefully , you’ll love him as much as i already do ! under the cut , you’ll find some misc . info & wanted connections . here are links to his dossier page & his pinterest board , which will hopefully give you some deeper insight . i’m excited to be here & write with you all ! like this if you’d like to plot & i’ll fly to your ims , but also feel free to add me on d*scord ( it’s easier for me as well ) : no brain only loving bts#6669 !

— jeon jungkook. he/they. demiboy. | was that michael “mikey” kwon i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a record store clerk / studying communications , but i’ve always just seen them dyeing their hair different colors with kool-aid . they live in 3c and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of getting into arguments online , an entirely black wardrobe and drinking six cups of coffee to make it through the day . 

misc . info :

his parents are both very hip artists who met & fell in love while attending art school. they’re both very modern kind of parents, which meant that mikey grew up around a lot of self-expression (& being told to try it for himself), paint everywhere & pot.

growing up, he was allowed to paint his walls & even ceiling however he pleased & it instilled a love of creativity in him. his parents still have paintings he did as a child hanging up on their walls & fridge. even now, he still draws casually, though it was always a hobby for him & not his actual passion.

his parents are extremely caring & understanding. as a teenager, they allowed him to go out & party & always made sure to get him home safely. mikey genuinely can not remember a single time they ever yelled at him even when he fucked up massively. so he tries his best to make sure they’re happy & taken care of. but they’re adamant in supporting whatever mikey wants to do.

they were both the alternative types, which meant that rock music filled their home. mikey was familiar with classic rock from a young age & the sounds of fleetwood mac & other similar bands fills him with a warmth that can only be attained from childhood nostalgia.

his first taste of love came at the age of seven. his parents always brought home new albums to listen to & his dad purchased three cheers for sweet revenge by my chemical romance. while the screaming & raging instruments could have been too much for anyone else his age, mikey embraced it fully.

it ignited an adoration for the genre as a whole & soon enough, his parents were bringing home various emo music albums to sate the always dramatic & over-reacting mikey. for christmas, he received mcr’s discography (at the time, just two albums) on vinyl, which he still has hanged proudly on his wall as an adult.

he owns every variation of every mcr album now. vinyl, cd, cassettes. he even collects the japanese versions because he likes the way they’re designed.

he dropped the name mike / michael because of mikey way & he refuses to answer to anything else.

even though it’s largely part of “cringe culture” now (which mikey refuses to participate in), he loves hot topic & goes there whenever he can. his closet is full of band tees & he has a drawer filled with those spiky belts, bracelets & pants with the suspenders from his teenage years.

he’s been dyeing his hair regularly since he was twelve. he’s had every color under the sun. this is what his hair currently looks like but he dyes the highlights with kool-aid, so the color is always changing.

he has a nostril piercing & would probably get more done if someone so much as implied that he should.

he has a mcr stan twitter account & he gets into fights with everyone he decides has a wrong opinion. he’s been suspended multiple times for being too aggressive online, but he always comes back. he also has a tumblr account but he just uses it to reblog pictures of gerard way (his bias KJHFDKJ).

he works at a record store & goes to school for communications. he hopes to either be a radio dj or podcast host. he wants to get paid to talk about how much he loves music either way. but he loves his current job because he gets to talk about music all day and recommend albums to people. also it’s helpful in perfecting his own vinyl collection.

yes, he cried the day mcr broke up & yes he bought tickets to all their reunion shows. he took the day off when the tickets went on sale & his boss was understanding, knowing how much he loves the band.

he’s extremely impulsive. if you tell him to do anything, he more than likely will. he has a lot of stupid scribbled tattoos on him for this reason, especially on his hands.

while he doesn’t mind appearing masculine & even embraces it, he doesn’t fully align with being a man. he started identifying as nonbinary in his teens, but has never felt 100% a man his whole life. he’s fine with both he or they pronouns for the most part, though he does have his preferences day to day. he introduces himself as nonbinary so it’s not a secret & everyone who interacts with him is aware.

he’s kind of a party animal. he’s that loud person who drinks too much & ends up blacked out on the floor.

he gets in trouble a lot, because he plays music very loudly at both his workplace & his apartment. but he’s of the opinion that if music is too loud for you then you’re just too old.

he’s aggressive & very arrogant. he will fight you about anything & everything. he just likes to argue & he thinks he’s right about everything.

in typical aries fashion, he loves to flirt & be flirted with. he just adores attention & seeks out affection where he can find it. he gets crushes really easily & pursues aggressively (he’s extremely charming & good at making people feel good about themselves), but he gets bored when he actually obtains the person he desires. he’s never really seriously dated, but has had over a billion crushes in his lifetime.

thought dramatic & annoying most of the time, he’s also very loyal & has a good heart. if you’re in his circle of people he likes, then he’ll do anything for you point blank. he always tells his friends that he’d die for him & he means it.

while he tries to appear confident, he has secret insecurities stemming from being the middle child. he has issues with feeling like he’s not good enough or thinks he’s unnoticed by everyone, so he acts up by being dramatic.

he drinks A LOT of coffee, so he’s pretty much always bouncing off the walls.

he’s extremely pansexual & loud about it. if you’ve known him for longer than five minutes then you’ll find out how he wishes he could smash gerard way specifically in the helena mv to smithereens.

he very casually knows how to play guitar. he’s that person who plays wonderwall at every party.

while he’s not a fan of pop music, he knows most girl group dances & can do them well.

wanted connections :

exes (any gender. it will more than likely be something casual, like a few months or less, but we can discuss the timeline! also it can be messy or friendly. extra points if there’s lingering feelings!)

hookups / fwbs (any gender. singular experiences or regular type things)

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in seattle (childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff)

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

one-sided crushes (don’t mind who has the feelings!)

mutual pining but they’re both idiots & have no idea

party buddies (can be drinking &/or smoking). emo music buddies. netflix buddies. any of these can be combined.

enemies???? (if we can decide on a suitable plot. or enemies with benefits :smirk:)

someone who knows of mikey from his stan twitter but doesn’t realize it’s him & talks shit openly about the asshole who runs the account in front of him.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, someone who he flirts with in the dms & they plan to meet up after realizing they live in the same apartment building.

tinder date (it can go well or not)

frequent customers (customers he flirts with or can’t stand because they just loiter or gets into fights with because they have bad taste in music

someone who takes advantage of mikey being willing to do anything he’s dared to do. make him do all the stupid shit he shouldn’t be doing, whether it’s getting tattoos / piercings or anything dangerous or just idiotic.

you’re sick of this asshole blasting music late at night & go to yell at him for it but oops he’s actually attractive (or you actually can’t stand him, whichever GKDHFGJFKD).

i have a huge tag full of plots i’d love to do on my rp spam blog. not all of them will be fitting for mikey but just ask me & we can try to change some elements or something!

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it!

[whimsyalien]

Get To Know Me - Tag Game

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

Thank you for tagging me @polishsimmersblog !!

1. Dogs or Cats?

Cats, no doubt. I love love love cats!

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

The only non-yt celebs I follow are my fave band, Arashi, so since I follow more youtube celebs... I guess yt celebs!

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

Japan. Specifically Tokyo!

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

I love DreamWorks movies but it can’t beat Disney’s nostalgia for a 90s kid. So Disney!

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

Kim Possible, Buffy, Charmed, Digimon, Pokemon, Sailor Moon... I can’t choose!

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

I had to look at which movies are coming in 2020 lol

Probably Artemis Fowl because childhood nostalgia (DON’T RUIN IT PLS)

7. Favourite book you read in 2019?

Cassandra Clare’s The Red Scrolls of Magic !!

8. Marvel or DC?

Marvel! I don’t like DC universe much!

9. If you choose Marvel favourite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

My fave X-Men member is  Rogue! Dunno about Justice League sorry!

10. Night or Day?

Night! I’m much more awake during night ironically XD

11. Favourite Pokemon?

Espeon and Mimikyu!

12. Top 5 bands:

Arashi !!! Paramore, MCR, Tokio Hotel (yes these 3 are from my teen emo phase and I still love their music... TH’s only the old music tho), aaah... Ed Sheeran doesn’t count as a band riiiiight........ 

13. Top 10 books.

Whole The Mortal Instruments series, whole Harry Potter series, both books from the  The Kingkiller Chronicle series (pls release the thrid already I beg you). Everything from Laura Gallego, Christina Lauren’s Beautiful series... Those have to be more than ten. 

14. Top 4 movies

My neighbour Totoro, Aladdin (the animation one), Nightmare Before Christmas and Grease.

15. America or Europe?

Europe, we have Paris pls.

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

Both!

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Pro-choice

18. Favourite YouTuber?

Mmmmh Pewdiepie I guess. He is the youtuber I watch the most.

19. Favourite author ?

Cassandra Clare, Laura Gallego, Christina Lauren!

20. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee. Tea tastes like dirty water to me (sorry not sorry)

21. OTP ?

Sakuraiba (from my fave band LOL), Malec (from the Mortal Instruments), NaruSaku (YES YOUR HEARD RIGHT, go to hell Kishimoto I’m still bitter), Keith and Lance!!

And of course the most important OTP... Morgyn and Salem ( uwu)

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

I sing all the time but that doesn’t mean I do it right :’)

I’m tagging: @plumbobvious @anotherplumbob @emmysimmy 

[lunebinnie]

(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste?  🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh. 

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually. 

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities  you know). 

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool. 

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

[winteriron-trash]

Ok, so that fanfic questions ask meme? You wanna do ALL OF THEM?!

YES, LET’S DO IT, HERE WE GO, PREPARE YOURSELF I’m copy and pasting answers I’ve already done just so I don’t have to retype them and there’s a break because god this got long. I might link this on my About Me post, cause holy shit I spent time on this

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Actual fandom? Probably DC. That’s when I started reading fanfiction and really poked my head around online communities dedicated to media and all.

2. What is your latest fandom?

I don’t know, probably Marvel? Maybe Riverdale, but I was a fan of the comics before so

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

If I’m assuming this question is about the actual fandom and not the source material and the people in the fandom and its community as a whole? Probably the Percy Jackson fandom. Not really into it anymore so I don’t know the state of it now, but it was a pretty wholesome and positive community. Any community that calls it’s creator “Uncle Rick” has gotta be pretty dope.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

Oh lord save my soul for admitting I like this, but definitely Five Nights at Freddy’s. The indie gaming, creepypasta, underground subculture as a whole is something I regret getting into. Don’t get me wrong, I usually love the source material, but the fandom is just so bad. You probably know what I’m talking about, the fangirls who insist they’re insane and are in love with Slenderman or something.

But specifically on FNaF, lord, I don’t even know what the fandom is anymore. It’s a meme, a fetish, and a hellspace all at once. And I’m not gonna fucking lie, I’ve been in this hellhole long before any of that. Like, I can’t even try to escape it, I’m in it for the long haul. I was just someone who joined for the lore and now we’re here with fucking casual bongos and trash gang and fuck I didn’t ask for this. I can’t escape. I know so fucking much about the franchise it hurts my fucking soul. I remember when the FNaF 2 trailer came out and we were all micro-analyzing London Bridge Is Falling Down. I remember when Springtrap didn’t have a name and we called that fucking Spring Bonnie or Golden Bonnie. I survived that era and I have PTSD from it, trust me. I remember when we were naive enough to think FNaF 3 was the last game. I know what channels were born and what channels died because of that series. I know it all.

I’m sorry, I got off topic. BUT I DON’T GET TO FUCKING RANT ABOUT IT ENOUGH, FUCKING FUCKSHIT

Oh, and a lot of bandoms I was in too. I went through an alt phase where I’d only listen to shit like BVB, BMTH, MCR, PTV, SWS, and so on. Once again, that sort of fandom was the same as the indie/creepypasta in being ‘different’ and ‘insane’ and all that and I was no different. I was a weird fucking kid when I was like 13. I regret all of it.

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

Marvel, DC, and a couple Riverdale. 

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Not in many fandoms but

Marvel - WinterIronDC - SuperbatStar Trek Voyager - Captain Janeway/Seven of NinePercy Jackson - Solangelo

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Marvel - Stucky, Stuckony, Romanogers, Clintasha, any incest ones, (save me for admitting this) SpideypoolDC - Any batboys shipped together, Bruce/Talia

And I don’t really have NOTPs for my other fandoms? Marvel and DC are really the only two things I’m invested in the fandom of. I guess you could count Wincest as well for Supernatural.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

What even is my latest fandom? Um, we’ll just say Marvel because I’m really not into joining fandoms much anymore. Honestly, I was a big DC fan who felt the need to hate Marvel because no shit. Eventually, I just got sick of the absolute shit movies DC had and I decided I had nothing to lose by just watching Iron Man. When I watched it I realized “wow, superhero movies can actually be good???” and I just binged the entire MCU in one month and was ready to see the next movie in theatres and I think I’ve seen every single MCU movie in theatres since Civil War? Definitely since Homecoming. I gave up on DC movies. The new Aquaman looks like shit, I’m so fucking pissed they redid Mera’s look when she looked perfectly fucking fine before and now she’s oversexualized and it’s gross. I’m excited for the new DC Batwoman TV show because I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO SEE A LIVE ACTION BATWOMAN SINCE THE DAWN OF FUCKING TIME

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Probably the Tony Stark Defense Squad. As a collective whole, I think the Defense Squad is one of the sweetest, nicest corners of the fandom. We’re incredibly kind to each other, write great meta and fic, and it’s just a great community. Of course, there are assholes, but you know.

I might get flamed for saying this, but also the HYDRA Trash Party corner of the fandom is actually really nice? Like, they understand consent and abuse aftermath and all the real shit better than the rest of the fandom, not gonna lie. Like, for as dark as the fic is you’d expect the people to be fucking nasties, but I have never met a rude HTP enthusiast. Or even one who’s unaware of how consent and whump work. They’re all very aware and kind. It’s bizarre, considering the source material. They get an awful rep though.

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Literally any fandom I’m in besides Marvel and DC. I think I wrote like 2 Riverdale fics. Getting into reading fanfic and getting into writing fanfic are two entirely different ballparks. I don’t really read that much fanfic anyway, especially not anymore. I read Marvel and DC, but even then. I think it’s hard because sometimes you can’t switch off the whole ‘reading like a writer’ thing. That’s why I enjoy classic literature. I’m a slut for some good ass prose and symbolism.

11. Who is your current OTP?

WinterIron, of ducking course.

12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not really a fan of OT3s, to be honest, I find I’m personally pretty weak with writing poly relationships and I don’t really enjoy reading them because one character is usually focused on a lot more than the other two. But if I had to pick, I would say T’Challa/M’Baku/Bucky only because I am solely responsible for the creation of that abomination and you have no idea how much people begged me for a series after the first one, it astounded me.

13. Any NoTPs?

As before listed, Stucky, Stuckony, Spideypool, Clintasha, Romanogers

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

IronWidow is my top BroTP, but I also like WinterWidow as a BroTP. Stucky is good as a BroTP too, as well as Tony & Rhodey.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Literally any ship I have. Yall I’ve been here since WinterIron was obscure. But to name a specific one I’m just gonna go with Pietro/Tony. I don’t know, I just had an idea I was writing for them and I was thinking about how much missed out potential there was between them. And with Pietro as a whole, but you know. Marvel has to kill off the only good Maximoff they had.

Oh, Natasha/Pepper too, but they aren’t as obscure, I guess.

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Stucky, clearly.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Stony, and no. They fell apart for me, at least MCU-wise.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

By now, WinterIron, I believe. I recently passed my count of fics for Superbat.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Pepperony, probably. I think it’s actually a cute and sweet ship and I like their in-canon moments, but I just can’t get behind reading fanfic of them? It never works out for me, I don’t really get it. It sucks because I do enjoy seeing their cute moments.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

I’ll do a different answer I thought of besides the first time I answered this. But Thruce was a big shocker for me. I didn’t even think about it during Ragnorak but then I saw an incorrect quote for it and I was like? Oh? This? This is a good, pure ship right here. The funny thing is, I actually wrote a fic with them as a side ship long before they hit it big so like, I was shocked when they came out of nowhere. But hey, I’m fucking here for it. I’ll probably never write it, but I’m here for it. 

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Goodnight, My Angel. It was a Superbat fic and really sad, but I still love it.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Probably... You Deserve Love And You’ll Get It. No, I won’t link it because I hate it that much. I’m not even gonna talk about it.  It’s my most popular fic too why

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Super dorky, but The (Un)Wanted Kiss. It’s my first finished chapter fic, and the first chaptered fic I did on Tumblr and it just brings me a lot of nostalgia. It reminds me of where I was as a writer when I started it and it was an entire fic spawned from people wanting more of a simple 500-word prompt and that just blows my mind. It reminds me of the power of fans and how much love and support I got from it. It really kicked me off as a “serious fanfic writer” I think.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

All You Are Is All I Need. That is a hot fucking mess. Probably The Red Halo too.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

*sigh* You Deserve Love And You’ll Get It

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

I bullshit my way through them. My most recent fics have actually followed a trend of being named after songs.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Summaries. I always make them so fucking corny, I hate it.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

One Foot In Front Of The Other, probably. Just because I want more fem!WinterIron fanart. I can’t say what scene because spoilers but.... yeah, anything from that would be great, really.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sort of. I make some of my friends like Pizza read over my shit before I post it, but that’s not often, only when I think I need it. I don’t just because I write a lot and I’d feel bad for constantly annoying someone with making them read everything I write. I hate inconveniencing people.

30. What inspires you to write?

The better question is what doesn’t. I never stop thinking like a writer. My brain forgot how to turn off that feature.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Ummmm, I can’t think of an exact thing? I get so many beyond sweet comments and messages, it’s hard to pin down one comment. I think if I had to pick, I once got a message from someone on Tumblr who was old enough to be my mother complimenting me and telling me I didn’t write like a teenager and I think that was really sweet.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And honestly, any genre. I listen to everything. Everything. But specifically, Emilie Autumn has inspired a lot ideas/fics I’ve written.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

All of the above.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 23k, I think?

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

Yes, and whatever I get prompted for, really.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

For fanfiction, I guess romance? I mean, that’s really all my fanfiction is. Otherwise, I’ll write quite literally any genre I feel like. I go wherever an idea takes me. I’m character based, not genre or plot based.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third. I fucking despise 1st person. I just do. That’s an entire rant we ain’t here for today.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Usually canon characters. I only use an OC when I absolutely have to, to make the plot do the plot stuff.

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer?

Nothing. My writing sucks. All of it is shit.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Everything. I screech the most about pacing and sentence structures though.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

Most of these are actually on my to-read list but whatever.

Winter's End by ali_aliska Winter is Coming (aka Fifty First Avengers Dates) by 27dragons, tisfan My Love is Vengeance by seikaitsukimizu The caged Hawk by asamandra Fertile Ground by 27dragons, tisfan

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

27dragons tisfanChiaki_Hamano arianapeterson19 thepartyresponsible

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Not really? I’m not knocking any of the other ‘big names’ in the Marvel fandom, but I don’t really draw inspiration from other fanfic writers. Not for plot, and definitely not for writing style. I get inspiration from fanart I see sometimes, but it’s never one main artist who I stalk to be inspired, just whatever I happen across online.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

WinterIron, duh. I will not rest until WinterIron is the biggest ship in the Marvel fandom.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I’ve mentioned this fic before and honestly, it hasn’t been topped yet, but  In the Company of Monsters by Chiaki_Hamano. It’s not even a Marvel fic, and it’s not even a ship I like, but god, I fucking adore it. I’d love to write something like it, but with WinterIron if I had the time, I think the entire world and setting would fit WinterIron beautifully.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Well, that all depends on what they’re looking for in my fanfiction. If they’re looking for WinterIron, I’d probably tell them to start with The (Un)Wanted Kiss just because that’s one of my most loved fics and I think I did really well with it. But if they just want a general fic, A Great Connection is one I’m really proud of and I still get gushing feedback about.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

For just writing fanfic, Ao3. Tumblr can be a pain in the ass, and I don’t even use ff.net.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes. But only if 1, I really, really loved it or 2, I don’t think the fic has enough attention. It also helps if the writer responds to comments. I don’t see the significance of saying “I loved this!” if the fic has dozens of other comments saying the same thing. As a writer, I know what comments writers prefer. Longer ones, deep comments pointing out what things they liked, and so on. However if I write a comment that long, I like to get a response because you know, I love seeing the writer talking about the elements of the story I liked. 

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Not really, to be perfectly honest. Yes, I love and cherish every kudos and note I get, and the sweet comments make me want to die of joy. But I write for me. Even when I take prompts, in the end, I write because it makes me happy. Yes, I love the validation. But even without it, I would still write. I do not write fanfiction for you, I share fanfiction with you. There’s a difference. Writing makes me happy. If I only cared about the validation, I wouldn’t have a folder reserved of fics I’ll never post but I wrote just because I wanted to. I write to write. The moment I start writing for validation, I might as well stop writing, because it’s not worth it.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

Ummmm I think I was just curious? I was new to internet culture, I saw fanart of Superbat and I discovered Ao3 and was like “wow, this stuff exists??? Words for free????? About my favourite characters being happy and dating each other??????????” and it was a downward spiral. I was like, 11 when I read my first fanfiction. I was obsessed with Superbat fanart, and I thought, what would it hurt to try actually reading it? Like, that was so taboo to me. And now we’re here. Tadaaaaaah

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Oh, a chance to ramble. Yay. I’m gonna rant because I’m a rant-y person.

I think something that annoys me about fanfiction is not necessarily a probably within fanfiction, but rather the outward view of it. Fanfic has an awful rep within the real world. The one-time fanfiction really took centre stage was when Fifty Shades came out, which only hurt the platform by furthering the stereotype that it’s all porn made for horny freaks who just want to get off.

I should not be ashamed to say I write fanfiction. I should not feel childish saying it to myself. No one should. At least half of my ‘fans’ are nearly a decade or more older than me. It’s clearly not something that’s immature or silly. Of course, it can be, but any hobby can be dumbed down to a kiddy version.

But fanfiction at its core is ignored for what it really is. When adults talk about fanfiction they belittle it and only see a tiny subsection of it, ignoring what it’s supposed to be about. It’s about creating transformative works for media you’re passionate about.

Fanfiction gets a worse rep than other transformative works such as fanart or whatever. Writing as a whole does. Fanfic is painted as this utter trash.

I’ve read fanfiction that made me cry, laugh, feel shit. I’ve read fanfiction that tackled heavy topics. Even on a sexual standpoint, I’ve read fanfiction that was willing to write erotica that published authors wouldn’t fucking touch. Both in a kink sense, but also in terms of how the relationship functions. I’ve read shitty fanfictions, sure. But I’ve read fanfictions that were better than 90% of the published books I’ve read. Even fanfics I didn’t like.

To put fanfiction into perspective, the average YA novel (the age group fanfiction is generally but not always aimed at) is 70k words. I’ve read fanfiction that blows that word count out of the water. And it takes fucking skill to write something that long. It’s not just writing a bunch of porn or cute scenes, that takes serious world building and character arcs.

Fanfiction kills so many tropes that are common in YA and literature in general. I read a YA after reading nothing but fanfiction for a long time and I was fucking appalled? It was a popular YA too. I won’t name what one because you could literally imagine anyone and it’d probably fit. The characters were flat, the romance was outright manipulative and toxic, the plot was dull, even the writing itself was bland. This was the type of book years ago I would’ve loved. But compared to most (of course, not all. Shit exists, but I think in fanfiction, we’re able to better filter out the shit) fanfictions, it was fucking trash.

When I started reading fanfiction, I assumed it’d lower my standards. The first time I picked up an actual novel I was relieved, excited to not have to deal with the problems that are in unpublished writings. But I quickly realized it was the complete opposite. Fanfiction threw my expectations through the roof. I expect fiction to include representation, fresh plots, interesting characters, thrilling romances, and decent fucking sex scenes if they’re there. But it just wasn’t there. It all fell flat. As someone seriously into the writing and reading community I hear so often that it’s hard for plots to be original and you shouldn’t judge on originality, but then I read fanfiction written by fucking teenagers that’s fucking mind-blowing with plot twists and original ideas, and I have to wonder is it really that hard? It’s clearly doable, you just have to take away the fanfiction part.

I have YA novels sitting on my sheld I know I’ll never read and enjoy because fanfiction just made my expectations too high. Which is good in a sense because I pray some of these amazing writers, when they get older will go on to write mind-blowing original novels and I hope that this generation of writers will put out great literature in ten to fifteen years, but for now I’m just… underwhelmed. I think it’s why I read a lot of classic literature too. Shit was better back then.

And yet despite all that, fanfiction is still made to look like shit in the modern media. It sucks so badly for fanfiction writers not to look like serious writers. I could publish one book, have it get the amount of attention my biggest fanfic got and be considered a serious author. My biggest fanfiction currently has 40k notes on Tumblr. Imagine if that were a published short story. It’d be a fucking hit. And there are others that make my numbers look small. And yet it’s brushed aside as unimpactful.

I think a lot of that stems from the fact that fanfic writers do generally start out younger. I’m 16. Others either are or were my age. But age does not equate to skill in writing. Sure, that is a factor, but it is not the entire story. I know a 14 yr old who writes some of the best prose I have ever seen. And even if younger fic writers aren’t on level yet, fanfiction is what’s helping them grow as a writer. But because we’re teenagers, we’re turned away just because of that. Even more specifically because we’re teenage girls (for the most part, I’m not saying other genders and/or age groups aren’t writing/reading fanfic) and we all know how society feels about them. It’s just a fucking shame that fanfiction can’t be respected for the legitimate form of writing it is because of the stigma. I’ve seen fanfic writers say they aren’t real writers because of the stigma, it’s awful. We feel the need to tear ourselves down for an admirable hobby. I can’t say my favourite book is a fanfiction I read, when I has every right to be a valid answer.

We’ll cut this ramble off here because wow I really went on didn’t I.

[hauntswitch]

I posted 530 times in 2021

97 posts created (18%)

433 posts reblogged (82%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.5 posts.

I added 210 tags in 2021

#doctor who - 33 posts

#drwho - 31 posts

#dr who - 29 posts

#dw - 25 posts

#homestuck - 18 posts

#my art - 16 posts

#mychem - 16 posts

#mcr - 15 posts

#my chemical romance - 15 posts

#my chem - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#gwen was 29 when she joined torchwood so i kinda think she would have had a joan jett phase??? the jacket the hair the eyeliner...?? maybe??

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Doctor Who is basically like one big massive patchwork blanket - every new showrunner, writer, director, music maker, special effects person, artist, costume designer and actor (as well as all the rest!) add on their own significant metaphorical patch to the metaphorical blanket - no matter how big or small the contribution, it is still there. Each of the spin offs and every new incarnation of the doctor with their companions adds a massive patch where new “canon” or lore is added - and yeah, maybe some of the older bits have a few small holes here and there because of age and new ideas - but ultimately this massive patchwork blanket is a brilliant collective work and it is warm <3

328 notes • Posted 2021-08-29 15:09:26 GMT

#4

Its 2:30 AM and this came to mind

Furthermore:

428 notes • Posted 2021-02-28 02:24:47 GMT

#3

Why’d they have to go and change it for?!

437 notes • Posted 2021-03-03 13:47:31 GMT

#2

The date is 4/13 in the year 2021, where we are all HOME STUCK. Sarah Z has just uploaded a NEW YouTube video about a CERTAIN WEBCOMIC and you are EXITED to watch it. You need to get ready before you watch it. What will you do? You go to your CLOSET and select a BLACK SHIRT with a ZODIAC SIGN on it that most likely isnt the one you were born under. Your guardian is confused by this move. They never understood why you bought that STRANGE shirt in the first place. You add the shirt to your SYLLADEX. You then spot some GREY FACE PAINT and a HORN HEADBAND on the countertop. You add them to your sylladex too. You collect some more clothes to finish your COSPLAY then go into the bathroom to get ready. You notice a GREY SHARPIE inside the bathroom which has no place being in there. You don't know why, but seeing a GREY SHARPIE next to a BATHTUB makes you uneasy. You change quickly and apply the makeup, then return to your bedroom to load up the YouTube video. Your FRIENDS begin PESTERING you just as you are about to hit play. What could they possibly want?

1794 notes • Posted 2021-04-13 18:05:24 GMT

#1

The reddit thing on r/wallstreetbets is more than just a troll - I've been reading through posts and comments there, it's become personal for them. The comments are full of messages about how they are now doing this for their families and loved ones, and personal stories from their own lives that are fuelling them. There are stories about how users have been abused by hedge funds, and how the 2008 recession had affected their families. They keep repeating the "Its not about winning, it's about sending a message" meme from the Joker which is extremely fitting both in way that they are simultaneously clowning the fat cats who have the ability to mess people over because they're rich, as well as their own anger. Its payback and its beautiful

4419 notes • Posted 2021-01-28 14:21:32 GMT

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