#this is the special thing i had to share with you

[book-lore]

You know what? I just had this conversation and I am sharing it with the wider world so that a bunch more of you will either embrace the get hoped lifestyle or get more comfortable getting hoped because here is a bit of truth for you.

As your friend, I WANT to hear about your hyperfixations. I might not always be able to follow you as far as all that but that doesn't mean I want you to stop telling me about them. Tell me, dammit. Enjoy yourself. The thing about it isn't that I will become equally enamoured with your special interest, but that I enjoy hearing someone I care about talk about something with excitement and passion.

And yes, that means all the other things too. You're allowed to have emotions that range. You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be forgetful and excited and happy and miserable and you are allowed to do all those things in the comfort of a friendship that doesn't dissolve the second that you show someone you are human. Too many of us grew up on transactional values and relationships. It's true that you probably shouldn't overwhelm someone you just met with all your emotional tides, but that isn't necessarily because they are taboo and weird to feel them. It's because you don't know that you aren't offering a torrent of emotional labour to someone who is currently barely head above water and while you might be able to relate to each other, maybe they need help too. Maybe they need a break before they can help you. Or maybe they are in need and it's time that you can be generous and offer a hand, knowing that all your problems will still be there to solve once they are on even ground again. And chances are, if they are a good friend, they want to give you those things too.

Being friends is enjoying the best, most insufferable and messy parts of a person because this is who they are and you wouldn't want them to be otherwise.

i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

[faynthearted]

this update is devastating for obvious reasons but there's something else I've been thinking about all day

yes, the box is a confirmation that guan shan considered he tian an important person in his life and that he never really moved on after he tian left. that realization is hard-hitting, but my god, there's another underlying component that makes this discovery especially emotional to me

after spending a lifetime in isolation (a deliberate choice for self-preservation btw), he tian now has physical, undeniable evidence that someone cares/cared for him. and not just the idea of him, not the physicality of him (guan shan literally covered his face with tape), but just him and the time they spent together

I imagine this realization must feel like if someone approached you in a quiet and windowless room and said, "there's a bad rainstorm happening outside." you would trust/understand what they're conveying and you'd have an idea of what a 'bad storm' entails. you'd say, "oof, that sucks, hopefully it lets up soon."

but if you actually got up and walked outside and felt the rain pelting your face like bullets and saw trees getting uprooted in the wind and streets flooding with swells of water and roofs getting torn off houses and streetlights shattered and collapsed in the intersections, you'd backpedal and think, "oh shit. I didn't know it was this bad."

that's what I think he tian might be experiencing in those last few panels.

during their school days, guan shan eventually started showing how much he cared about he tian. he tian trusted and understood what guan shan was trying to convey, and he got a taste of what it was like to care for someone and be cared for by someone. he sampled what it’s like to be important to someone, and to be seen by someone in both the dark and the light

but now, years later, opening that (bittersweet) memory box is like the equivalent of walking into the rainstorm. during the entire time he was gone, he tian was hoping that guan shan still remembered/missed him. he knew his absence probably hurt him, but since he wasn’t there to witness the aftermath, he only had an idea of what that hurt looked like. but his hope about guan shan’s feelings wasn't certain and it definitely wasn't verifiable. he tian had an idea of what ‘guan shan cared for me’ and ‘we shared something special’ meant. but, really, he only had memories and his own interpretation of those memories. nothing physical, nothing tangibly conclusive or outright

but now the rain feels like bullets and there’s devastation in knowing that the damage is significant — but somehow there’s also the touching revelation that he tian is lovable and capable of being wanted and missed. it is possible for someone to see the worst sides of him and endure the awful heartbreak he puts them through and still think he’s worth missing/grieving. he risked his self-preservation and the payoff was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him

the box and the layers of torn tape show that guan shan hates what he tian did to him but he doesn’t hate he tian. he kept and memorialized every significant memento in their relationship, even if he did it with some anger or reluctance. this is truly the best-case scenario, yet it’s also a wounding reminder about the time lost and the pain inflicted

at the end of the day, it just hurts

[dollediary]

webcam perv! pt. 1

pairings ❥ heeseung x fem!reader

point of view ❥ third person, omniscient

warnings ❥ mutual masturbation, cyberstalking, noncon recording

synopsis ❥ you meet heeseung on omegle and quickly hit it off until you accidentally disconnect. feeling at a loss from not being able to find him again, you give up and live life as if it never happened. unbeknownst to you, however, he turns out to be a hacker who hacked into your camera, resorting to watching your secretly from behind the screen… until he didn’t.

word count ❥ 4.4k

taglist: @rayofsunshineeee

author’s note: sorry it took me a bit longer to release, i ended up rewriting over the whole draft. i was gonna write the full story in one go, but if there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that i love making series. anyway i hope yall enjoy! & a reminder that my requests are open (send as an ask or submission pls do not dm me lol). go check out my other stories while you’re at it bc i have much more cooking! not proofread so don’t come for me!

y/n lay blank faced on her bed with her phone in hand. it had been hours since she’d gotten home from her classes, and now she was just scrolling mindlessly on tiktok out of boredom. her room was quiet except for the occasional hum of her heater and the everchanging audios blasting from her phone’s speakers.

she sighed, tossing her phone to the side resorting to staring at the ceiling. as the days were growing colder, y/n couldn’t help but to feel this growing sense of loneliness creeping in, like there was something missing that she couldn’t quite put her finger onㅡexcitement was the closest word she think of. she didn’t have many friends to talk to, or text, or hang out with—just her best friend natty, but the girl was currently unreachable as she had already fallen asleep after their brief phone call.

midterms were always the dryest times for y/n. after spending hours in the library, forcing far too many categories of knowledge down her throat for her own goodㅡ just to end up with barely above average scores, she was too drained to do much of anything else when she got home. but, it was hard to just sleep. she was intransigent when it came to resting after studying because she wanted to give herself the free time she’d lost instead. usually being on her phone, and rotting her brain away with the useless curated content that she handpicked for herself would suffice. but on days like thisㅡ where her studying ended close to (or in this case, after) midnight, it wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy the dopamine she was longing for.

after a few moments of lying in a frozen state of staring off into nothing, she reached for her laptop, opening it on impulse. omegle. it had been a while since she’d used it, and honestly, it wasn’t the best idea, but she figured it might help pass the time. and maybe it’d even give her some form of human interaction, though her hopes weren’t too high given the website’s reputation. she typed “k-pop” into the category field, hoping it’d narrow down the pool to people around her age who might share at least one interest with her.

the first few chats weren’t anything special. she ran through the typical brief hellos, the awkward pauses, and of course the familiar “stranger has disconnected.” a few times, however, she was met with the sight of creepy old men who took pleasure in flashing, reacting at lightning speed to skip the chats before things could get worse. some people seemed normal at first, friendly even, but as soon as they’d start saying weird thingsㅡor worse, making noises that gave away their intentions, it’d soil her mood once again as she refreshed her tab.

after getting skipped again for the umpteenth time, y/n found herself hovering her mouse over the “new chat” button, debating. she looked at the clock in the corner of her screen, she had already wasted 30 minutes trying to find a normal human being to talk to. she was beginning to wonder if this was really a good idea to begin with. was it even worth possibly getting harassed for another half hour, in the name of being social? she weighed her options: she could either waste another 2 hours on tiktok, or go to bed. neither seemed appetizing for the hunger of connection she craved. with a sigh, she decided to try one more. and if it didn’t work out, it just meant that it was time to call it a night. she clicked to start a new chat.

stranger is typing…

stranger: hii

you: hello

stranger: m23

you: f22

stranger: cam?

you: earn it?

this one didn’t seem too bad so far, but she wasn’t going to make an early judgement. the man seemed to respect her decision as he quickly changed the conversation. they kept things light, alternating on asking each other random questions back and forth about hobbies, favorite foods, movies, shows, and music. the conversation was easy, fun even, and y/n found herself smiling a little despite the earlier frustration. it was like she was finally getting what she was looking for. with the conversation being tame, he took it as a green light to ask again.

stranger: can i see you now?

you: fine lol

y/n hesitated before turning her camera on and adjusted her hair quickly before looking at the screen. the male in her vision had a sharp, almost angelic face, with delicate features that seemed to be personally sculpted by the man above. his hair was dark and tousled, the slight messiness giving him a laid-back, calm vibe with his headset only adding character to his visual as they laid over his ears. his eyes were a captivating deep brown. they were soft and friendly, it made it hard to look away. even through the webcam, it was clear he had this undeniable charm, his steady gaze hinting that he knew the effect he had on others. the two of them stayed still, ogling each other for a bit, the stare down only being interrupted when he abruptly started typing again.

stranger is typing…

stranger: damn ur fine lol

you: thx so are you

stranger: you in korea?

you: yeah

stranger: me too

stranger is typing…

stranger: audio?

you: yk what? yeah

heeseung and y/n both go to turn on their audio. while her room was silent, disregarding the small noise coming from her room’s heater, heeseung had r&b music softly playing in the background. it only added to this boy next door vibe she was getting from him. the two of them were silent for a second before heeseung decided to break the ice by speaking first.

“hello? let me know if you can hear me.” his voice came through clearly, deep and smooth, carrying a natural warmth that drew her in without him even trying. a part of her was convinced he had to secretly be a weirdo. what was someone as attractive as him even doing on this site, yet alone at this hour? she took a breath before answering.

“hi, yeah i can hear you,” she replied, her tone a little uncertain, unsure of how to match his cool energy. she wasn’t exactly the extroverted type of person to begin with, you can only imagine how much harder it was to speak when such a captivating face was waiting for her response in real time.

heeseung only chuckled softly, the sound seamlessly exuding natural confidence. “so… i guess we finally get to talk now.”

y/n smiled at his words, her need for approval rising as she juggled through all the responses she could make to keep him engaged, “yeah, seems like it,” she responded, her voice was steady now as she tried to shake off the nervousness creeping in. 

heeseung chuckled, shifting closer to his keyboard as his fingers danced over the keys. the music in the background shifted, the beat changing just as he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. his voice lowered a notch as he spoke, a hint of amusement in his tone. ”i’m, heeseung, by the way.”

“y/n,” she responded.

“i gotta admit,” he said, “i wasn’t sure if you’d actually turn on your mic.”

“why’s that?” she asked, an almost muted giggle escaping her lips as she twirled a strand of her hair, her fingers displaying how nervous she felt. heeseung watched her with a quiet intensity, noticing every little movement she made. the way her fingers fidgeted and how she avoided meeting his gaze through the screen.

“i don’t know,” he said, his tone lazy and nonchalant, but holding a teasing undertoneㅡ a subtle shift she didn’t quite catch onto. “guess i’m just lucky you did.” he didn’t say anything about her fidgeting, though. he didn’t need to. she seemed like the type to change her behavior once it was called out, and he was more captivated by it than he let on. there was something about her shyness, moreso the way she couldn’t quite hide it, that intrigued him. “so, what do you usually do when you’re not chatting with strangers on the internet?”

his question had caught y/n off guard for a brief moment, another nervous laugh slipping past her lips as she tugged on her shirt’s collar, adjusting it to make sure nothing was out of place though she didn’t actually need to. she didn’t know why, but something about talking to him felt different from the others. “uh, not much… if i’m not studying, i just watch tiktoks or call my friend if she’s not tired.” she replied hoping the answer sounded casual enough.

“hm, sounds like you’ve got some time to kill,” heeseung smirked, inching his chair closer to the screen. he opened a second tab, the soft clatter of his typing blending effortlessly with the mellow r&b drifting through the background.

“yeah, guess i do. life’s… kinda mundane, you know?” y/n replied sheepishly. her gaze followed his, noting the slight movement of his hands just out of view, but chucking it up to him searching for another song to play as the music shifted again. he didn’t back away from the screen this time, though. instead, he kept his eyes locked on hers, unwavering.

“i get it,” heeseung replied, his voice lowering slightly, but still keeping its laidback manner, like they were just two people having an ordinary conversation. “i’m the same, but i'm more of a youtube guy, i found out about this site through a video on there.” as he spoke, his finger subtly danced across the keyboard, the screen flickering with the quiet download of her IP address. his eyes stayed on the camera, his expression open and unreadable, like he was genuinely listening to her.

“that’s interesting, this app usually has a bad rep. like, there’s only creeps on here,” y/n said, though her words seemed to be misunderstood as heeseung furrowed his brows.

“are you trying to insinuate that i’m a creep?”

her eyes widened in shock, and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. a stutter broke through her words. “what?! no! i’m just saying—i’ve run into a lot of them tonight before i landed on you. so i was just… i don’t know. forget i said anything.” she sulked, her face reddening with embarrassment at her failed attempt to relate. heeseung watched in awe, his lips curving into a small, knowing smile, at her mannerisms, finding every one of her reactions so cute. sensing her discomfort, he smoothly shifted the topic.

“i’m kidding, y/n.” he grinned, showcasing his pearly whites. “so… what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to?” he asked, his tone light, but there was an underlying intensity to his gaze. he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity; he was studying her, absorbing every word she said, as if her answers would tell him everything he needed to know.

y/n paused, thinking for a moment before she answered. “probably traveling more. i feel like i’m always stuck in the same routine.”

“yeah, routines can be… limiting. but they’re also comforting, right?” he paused, his eyes flickering to a different part of his screen for just a moment before he continued. “you know, sometimes it’s those little moments, when everything feels a little too safe, that you need to shake things up.” he spoke so casually, like he was giving advice, but it sounded a bit odd to y/n. she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his words, though she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. regardless, she found herself wanting to stay, wanting to know more. and she was always too paranoid for her own good anyway. it was probably nothing.

“i guess.”

“oh. yeah, but is that the only reason you’re on here?” heeseung’s fingers were still moving on his keyboard, the quiet clicking of the keys going unnoticed now. he wasn’t just talking anymore—he was already pulling the strings, weaving a subtle web around her, all while his words remained smooth and harmless. y/n’s lips pursed in thought, the sudden change in the atmosphere making her feel more curious than she was letting on.

“what do you mean?” she asked, confusion creeping into her tone as she leaned forward, trying to get a better look at him. heeseung’s system, working silently in the background, had breached the security of her wifi by now, scanning through the connected devices, its main goal being to gain access to her phone.

“i mean… it’s almost 4am, saturday night. you’re a cute girl, seem kind of introverted, but you give off this vibe... like you’re looking for some fun.”

whatever dimwitted perception y/n formed of him had shattered. he was no different from any of the other men she’d encountered prior. “oh. i don’t really do… that,” she replied, a slight pout playing on her lips. she moved her mouse to hover over the skip button, but she didn’t click it. something was keeping her here. maybe it was the way he looked at her—too attractive, too confident. she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t move.

heeseung noticed her hesitation, his grin widening. “oh, neither do i,” he said in a humoring manner, brushing her reaction off as if his earlier comment didn’t mean anything. “i just had to test the waters. can you blame me though? it’s not every day you meet an attractive girl on here. you said it yourself, there’s usually only creeps on here, right?”

“yeah,” she laughed, the sound effortlessly drawn out as she got caught in the pull of his charm. any cautions she had before seemed to dissipate as she got lost in his eyes. she debated whether she should just give in—it wasn’t like they’d see each other again, right? but then, the stories about girls who made impulsive choices, and got extorted, crept into her mind. the fear of becoming just another statistic arose.

“what do you have in mind?” she asked, her words slipping out before she could think them through. her people-pleasing tendencies had kicked in, but the smile that spread across his face made her heart race. somehow, it felt good, like she was doing something right. and that made it feel worth it. rewarding, even.

“whatever you’re offering, baby,” heeseung replied smoothly, his voice dipping into an unfamiliar, alluring tone that made her body tingle. as he spoke, his hand moved subtly off-screen, clicking to start recording. the faintest smirk curled on his lips as he leaned closer to the camera, his eyes burning into hers with a suggestiveness that made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t before. desired. wanted.

“i don’t know,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. a nervous smile played on her lips as her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. her eyes darting away from the camera before flicking back to his. “i’ve never done anything like this before.”

heeseung tilted his head slightly, his smirk widening as he studied her. there was something about her naivety, the way she danced on the edge of her own boundaries, that made his pulse quicken. he decided then and there that if he wasn’t already obsessed before, he definitely was now. utterly and completely.

“well, i’m honored to be the first,” his voice dripped with seduction, but his eyes glinted with something far more sinister.

her cheeks flushed as she hesitated again, her fingers picking at the fabric of her shirt before she finally blurted, “could you maybe…” she paused, laughing softly at how ridiculous she felt to ask. “show me something, too? just to keep it fair.” her words made heeseung pause for a moment before a low chuckle escaped him, growing into full, unrestrained laughter. he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes never leaving her face.

she was truly a character—everything about her was so… adorable. her openness, her immediate trust in a complete stranger, and the impulsivity that seemed to pour out of her without a second thought. it was intoxicating. she was everything he’d been looking for, everything someone like him—a man with desires he dared not say aloud—would dream of finding. and yet, beneath his amusement, there was a darker realization. if she wasn’t careful and kept giving away pieces of herself so easily, someone would take advantage of her. someone crueler, more reckless, more dangerous than him. he couldn’t let that happen. not with anyone else at least. she was his now. and if she was going to be ruined, it would only be by him.

“would you like it better if i go first?” heeseung inquired, his voice smooth as the corners of his lips nearly curled into a restrained smirk. he watched her reaction closely, catching the way her quick, almost desperate nod betrayed her displayed excitement. it was endearing, almost painfully so. it drove him crazy. he pursed his lips, feigning contemplation, before his smile grew wider, softer. “thought so,” he murmured, his tone carrying just enough teasing warmth to make her feel both at ease. she was completely under his spell. 

he reached for his webcam, the movement slow as he decided to savor the moment. tilting it slightly, he aimed it downward, the lens capturing his relaxed posture, legs spread comfortably wide. the soft fabric of his sweatpants clung to him in just the right way, emphasizing his figure without him needing to do much at all. the unthought of confidence in his movements was enough to hold her gaze, her breath catching as the tension in the air thickened. his hands grazed over the fabric covering his length, a small hiss of relief leaving his lips as he did so. she had already gotten him painfully hard without even trying.

lifting his hips, he slides his sweats down. just enough for him to pull his cock out, an unintentional gasp falling from y/n’s lips at the sight of it. he couldn’t hide the rush of pride that surfaced at her reaction. it was a response he’d grown accustomed to from his long list of other victims on the site, but there was something about y/n that struck him differently. her wide-eyed gaze, the way her lips parted slightly as if she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words—it was enough to ignite a deeper need within him, a desire to draw her in further, to leave her completely captivated by him.

a quiet curse slipped past his lips as he stroked, his hand barely being able to wrap around its girth. his movements were meticulous, unhurried as he moved to spread his precum over the rest of his length. he leaned back slightly, his gaze never leaving her face. his dark eyes carried a silent command, the faintest nod of his head urging her to follow his lead. he didn’t have to say a word—his confidence, his control, it was all laid bare in the way he watched her, waiting to see how far she would go.

it was then that y/n realized she couldn't back out now. not that she wanted toㅡ her curiosity, mingled with the pull he had over her, kept her rooted in place. but it was starting to feel too real, the weight of the moment sinking in as she hesitated, unsure of what he was expecting. the fact that he left it up to her made it even more difficult. her mind raced as she nervously tugged at the bottom of her shirt, praying her choice would be enough to satisfy him.

heeseung's gaze didn't waver, his expression unreadable but intent, as though he were savoring every second of her hesitation. when she finally moved, lifting her shirt to display her breasts. her cheeks burned as she moved her hands over one, massaging and pinching her nipples. his lips twitched into the faintest smile. to her, his reaction was subtle, leaving her questioning if she'd done enough. 

but to heeseung, it was everything.to him, everything about her was intoxicating to him, from the nervous way she moved, to the unsure glances she gave him. he would have been satisfied just seeing her collarbone. his heart raced at the thought of how easily she gave in, how willingly vulnerable she was in front of him. it inflated his ego even more, knowing he was the first to witness this side of her.

he forced himself to keep his expression composed, though his excitement was nearly impossible to contain. the speed of his fingers absentmindedly sped up, thinking of how he’d be able to relive it again later tonight. and he’d make sure to replay every moment, over and over, obsessing over the way she unwittingly gave herself to him.“ah~ fuck, y/n,” he whimpered, unable to contain the heat growing over him. his eyes snapped shut, immediately imagining his hand to be hers. his hips bucked, as he began thrusting into his fist chasing the feeling of a body he knew now that he just had to get his hands on. tonight wasn’t going to be enough, he needed more. 

y/n didn’t know where her confidence was coming from when her free hand snaked its way down to the hem of her shorts as she pushed past them straight into her panties. she scooted into a slouch allowing herself easier access as she began rubbing on her clit, the pressure soothing its throbbing ache and sending a sweet, shocking sensation throughout her body. she couldn’t bite back the moan that slipped outㅡ the noise sounding like music to heeseung’s ears. oh how jealous he was of her hands now. being able to touch her because he couldn’t. it wasn’t enough, nowhere near it.

”look at me,” he murmured, his voice rough, making her cheeks flush as she slowly opened her eyes to meet his. his gaze was full of desire, making her feel small in a way that was strangely exhilarating. she found herself wanting nothing more than to impress him. she bit her lip as she quickly moved to lower the camera, aiming it to display more of her chest and downward before returning to her prior position on the chair. it didn’t even matter to him that her shorts kept her beautiful cunt a mystery to himㅡ the whole picture was so fucking sexy. the way she was playing with her nipples, pinching and rolling them, the speed of her circular motions increasing as she chased her orgasm, the way her tongue rested on her bottom lip before she bit it, the way sheㅡ

“heeseung~ oh my god.”

fuck. if he was wasn’t already stroking fast enough, he was moving at godspeed now. he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back. he rubbed his thumb along his tip’s slit as he kept his pace, the action leaving his hips stuttering. he was so close, and y/n was too. she couldn’t control the volume of her moans, gripping her breast like her life depended on it. “i’m gonna cum, oh my god, oh my god,” the desperation in her voice made him come undone as he bit back a loud, throaty moan. but she kept going, still chasing her climax as her moans got choked out the harder she went on herself.

just as she was about to cum, when she was almost there, her computer suddenly shut down. the screen went black without warning, leaving only an empty, lifeless void. heeseung watched as her screen flickered and then turned dark, his heart sinking in frustration. “fuck!” he swore, shooting forward in his chair, eyes fixed on the blank screen. he slammed a fist on the desk in irritation before quickly ending the recording. his hands moved frantically over the keyboard, reopening his hacking program, desperately trying to figure out what went wrong.

y/n didn’t even notice, her orgasm crashed over her as she felt like every nerve, and cell in her body had come undone. she kept her eyes closed as she let out a breathless sigh, regaining her composure. after a few seconds, y/n opened her eyes to see that her laptop was blank. she frantically clicked on buttons trying to turn it on, clicking the power button which only displayed a red drained battery as if to mock her further. of all times it could have decided to die, why now? the frustration and panic settled in as she realized she may never get to see him again. she didn’t have any ways to contact him, but would he even want to hear from her again? doubt clouded her mind. now there was no way of knowing. she wanted to keep talking to him, but the odds seemed slim. with a heavy sigh, she jumped up, scrambling to plug her laptop into the charger.

meanwhile, heeseung was still navigating through her information. he had closed out of omegle and now his focus was entirely on troubleshooting. he noticed her computer no longer showed up on the network, the last activity was two minutes ago. “that piece of shit must’ve died,” he grumbled under his breath. he figured now would be the time to access her phone’s camera as it would be useless trying to find her again on the website. switching servers on the program, he downloaded the data to his phone and went to lay down. he watched through the front camera on her phone, but it remained in the same spot unmoving. he was getting frustrated.

y/n had wasted almost 45 minutes skipping through hundreds of people in search of his face on omegle. but to no avail, his face never came up again. it was 6am, and she had plans with natty to go through with in the evening. as much as she didn’t want to right now, she had to sleep. oth of them, in their own way, ended up resigned to their separate fates. y/n reluctantly accepted her defeat, bitterly acknowledging that the night had slipped away. but at least for heeseung, there was a sense of satisfaction in knowing he would have another chance to see her again. this wouldn’t be the last time they crossed paths. he’d make sure of that.

[marzshin]

thinking about having a secret relationship with Jamil…

•honestly it’s probably better for the both of you to have a secret relationship. his duties as kalim’s servant can go undisturbed by kalim’s excitement about him being in a relationship, he’d still be able to fly under the radar like he wants to, and you, as the kind prefect, can do without the teasing and probable odd looks from other students.

•something about having to be quiet about your affections in public can be cute at times; the knowing glances you guys exchange when denying someone’s suspicions, walking a bit too close together before realizing and making distance with a breathy laugh. it might not be ideal but it works for you guys.

•the fact that you all are limited in how you show pda, makes alone time all the more special for the two of you. when he’s alone in the kitchen of scarabia, while you’re there too, he’ll invite you over next to him and allow you to assist in his cooking and answer any questions while guiding you hands with his own. another precious time is when you two are alone in his room. now this is rare… as much as he wants to be with you more often, it just can’t be helped sometimes, which is why during the time he’s with you in his room, he spends it relishing in your touch.

•your limbs tangled together with your foreheads rested against one another, it’s a fleeting moment, as jamil’s duty calls yet again as kalim’s voice rings through the hall to their rooms. kalim calls for jamil and your both quick to get up and move to act like you’re studying instead of cuddling. and as if on

que, kalim barges in with a beaming smile. “Jamil! so i was wondering… oh! you guys are studying? i didn’t know there was a test coming up?” his voice rings through your ears and you glance at jamil before looking towards the white haired boy. “there’s no test. y/n just had a question about some homework. we’re done now if you need something.” jamil answers with an almost unnoticeable sigh. guess it’s time to say your goodbyes and try again tomorrow.

•just because you have to be careful in this relationship doesn’t mean jamil loves you any less. he’s glad he has somebody who wants him as much as he wants them.

woohoo! another little thing written, let’s go me! i actually like this one quite a bit, i hope you all like it too! thanks so much for the support on my kalim x goth reader headcannons, i really appreciate it as i’m not used to writing things like this. if you have any suggestions or critics, please feel free to share them!

[kick-a-long]

When I was in college in Ohio I had many different science majors talk about how theology and science were additive to each other. In fact many religious people find science a kind of worship and celebration of gods work, not just Jews. Like, if someone makes you this incredible thing by hand, inventing all of it by themselves, what greater compliment can you pay them than by marveling at how it works? And how little faith do you have in them that you think tinkering with it, examining it, studying it, would break it or disprove they made it?

I took a ton of science classes and I’ll say I personally reconcile the two (when I flip flop between believing and doubting in god) is that no matter how much you learn you always find more questions than you started with. Everything relates to everything else and all these things (from equations in physics to lil peptides and chemical signals) get reused in really interesting ways. I don’t think it’s a matter of a clock maker that starts a watch and leaves, I think of it as a creation that is perfectly fine with singular negative and positive outcomes but wants a general move towards sustaining life despite allowing for and even leveraging the powerful effects of discomfort and change.

There’s mysteries like the lack of life away from earth anywhere we can see it. It’s basically the only evidence of human specialness to the universe. No one can figure out why we’re so alone. We can see pretty far away. So many systems big and small keep earth alive, that don’t exist on other planets that could have life larger than a bacteria. We should see city lights and hear or see some kind of waves. The universe should be bright and loud.

As far as a god that created everything I’m less convinced by a spark that creates life. That could be accidental and, if it’s god, a spark requires only an impulse. To make so many different things work together, share so much, adapt and evolve together without the whole thing falling apart long long ago shows deep love, commitment and care. Life should have already burned out because it’s a weird use of energy that could dissipate into a less ordered system pretty quickly. It shows real omniscient and omnipotence. I don’t know if god would still be meddling with it now, vis a vie Guadiana angels and prophecy, but the systems behind existence seem to imply human life is kind of unlikely and uncomfortable for the rules as they are.

Only someone who has no faith would be worried that studying the world would disprove a god. People should get over scriptural literalism. they might feel real euphoric celebratory faith of seeing why this place is so unlikely without some sort of exception to the universal rules for everything else.

One thing I wish more people understood is that being religious and believing in science are not mutually exclusive.

Throughout all of recorded human history, including over the course the last century, some of the most important scientific advancements came from religious people and religiously funded institutions. Often it was Jews and Muslims leading the charge of scientific progress, but despite what you might think: it was also Christians and Catholics (both separately and alongside each other).

An example of these contributions (though there are many more) is that in Medieval Europe, erroneously referred to as "the dark ages", the Church heavily funded scientific research; in fact, they were one of the only bodies in the region that had the kind of money to put into something like science on a major scale.

The idea they are two things that cannot coexist comes from the "enlightenment", and then later Victorian era, which sought to frame people in that past as inherently stupid and inferior.

More recently, a trend towards fundamentalism and anti-science rhetoric, found on the fringes of many religions, is used by antitheists to reflect poorly on religious people as a whole. The many more religious people who are able to make science syncretic with their religious beliefs just aren't deemed interesting enough to make the news or entertaining enough for a non-religious audience to challenge in debates.

Atheism is not more compatible with science than theistic belief is.

[ineffableaddiction]

Mirroring

I know, mirroring is not anything new in Good Omens. I highly appreciate the nuance it takes to build on the same theme through two (or more) seemingly (and sometimes actually) different stories.

There is one that has been stuck in my brain for awhile though.

Let me share….

The Final 15

This has been analyzed from millions of angles, so I’ll be brief. Crowley cleans the bookshop and plans to take Aziraphale to the Ritz. He attempts confession of some sort, only to be interrupted by the angel bringing him good tidings of great joy while looking like The Them when Adam made them smile. The two awkwardly talk, each thinking they’re making grand gestures (and they really are, in their own ways). Things go… not as either of them would have liked. And then… the kiss and aftermath that broke a billion hearts.

This scene has always seemed very Crowley to me. Bold. Grand gestures. Blatantly emotional. (My evil demon drama queen). This scene has an in-your-face impact. There is a reason that almost everyone that saw this had a visceral reaction to it.

NOT the Final 15

But if we pull back, we see a parallel story. A grand gesture. A declaration of love. A missed opportunity to work together.

And…

One of them choosing to go to Heaven.

Think about it. Aziraphale plans a ball in the bookshop, one he’s quite excited about. But, in true Aziraphale fashion, he hides his emotions away and lets the Nina and Maggie coupling attempt to explain away his excitement.

I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me.

Our favorite angel has plans. Is he going to declare his love? Possibly, but maybe not. Will Crowley be invited to live at the bookshop? This seems likely, given the previous “our car” and “our bookshop” banter. Whatever it is, it’s a step forward.

I would like to spend…

Just look at Aziraphale’s excitement as he asks Crowley to dance.

But…

Hell decides to bust up the party. Not Crowley’s fault, but disappointing.

This is where some things seem to get overlooked.

A group of the two of us

At one point, before Crowley escorts the humans out, Aziraphale asks Crowley to hear his idea. He didn’t say plan - he wanted Crowley’s input. After all, it worked so well when they put their heads together when they were trying to protect Jim.

You can’t leave this bookshop

But Crowley doesn’t listen.

He moves the humans to safety, basically just walking them across the road.

And he doesn’t come back. Instead, he goes to Heaven. Because he thinks it is the way to help everyone.

During the time Crowley was in Heaven, Aziraphale didn’t know where he was. There were demons outside the bookshop. The human-shaped being he loves might be discorporated. Maybe even erased. And he had two humans and an amnesiac archangel to help him protect his and Crowley’s home.

That makes this scene tug violently at my heart:

So, to recap….

1. Heart eyes plans something special

2. This is ruined by occult (or ethereal) beings

3. Heart eyes tries to get their object of affection to stay at the bookshop and work together

4. Object of affection leaves the bookshop anyway

5. Object of affection goes to Heaven because they think it will solve/protect something

Then….

6. Object of affection comes back. They always come back.

We have Aziraphale’s quiet, understated version. We have Crowley’s flash bastard version.

Season 3 will hopefully bring us their version. For them, together is beautifully better.

[dilfismz]

gihun fluff and make out sessions please 🙏 i love him ugh

Stargazing

Pairing: Gi-hun x reader

Summary: Gi-hun takes you out on a surprise date, ready to reveal his feelings. Although you've only been together a few months he can't deny the strong feelings he has towards you.

A/N: No timeline is specified, it's ambiguous.

Life with Seong Gi-hun was like a series of unexpected detours—you never knew where he’d take you next, but it was always worth the ride.

You met him on a day when everything had fallen apart. Your job closed unexpectedly. You’d been sitting on a bench in the park, staring blankly at the papers that had to be signed, when a stranger sat beside you.

“Uh, do you want some hotteok?”

You’d blinked at him, startled.

He held up a bag of steaming pancakes, his awkward grin almost as warm as the food itself. “It’s, uh… really good. And you look like you could use something good right now.”

      *. ──── ❍  Δ □ ────*.

That day had changed everything. Seong Gi-hun wasn’t the kind of person you expected to fall for, but his honesty and endless optimism were magnetic. Over the months that followed, he’d become your rock, and somehow, you’d become his.

Tonight, he’d promised you something special. You didn’t know what, but you trusted him enough to go along for the ride.

“Okay, are you ready?” he asked as you walked out of your apartment building, his excitement palpable.

“That depends,” you teased. “What are you planning, exactly?”

He grinned, pulling you toward his car parked at the curb. “You’ll see. Just trust me.”

You got in, watching as he fumbled with a map he’d printed out.

“Gi-hun,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “Are we going somewhere that’s not on GPS?”

“Exactly!” he said proudly. “It’s a secret spot. You’re going to love it.”

The drive was longer than you expected, the city lights giving way to quieter suburbs and eventually open countryside. Gi-hun filled the silence with stories about his childhood and terrible attempts at singing along to the radio.

“Okay, close your eyes,” he said as the car slowed to a stop.

“Close my eyes?” you asked skeptically.

“Trust me,” he said, laughing. “I promise it’s worth it.”

You complied, feeling the car come to a full stop before he helped you out. His hands were warm on yours as he guided you a few steps forward.

“Alright,” he said, his voice soft. “Open your eyes.”

When you did, your breath caught.

Before you was a wide, open field dotted with wildflowers, the sky above glittering with stars. In the middle of the field was a small picnic setup—blankets, pillows, and a basket lit by the soft glow of string lights wrapped around a nearby tree.

“Gi-hun,” you said, turning to him in awe. “This is beautiful.”

He scratched the back of his neck, looking shy. “I wanted to do something special. I know things have been… tough lately, so I thought we could use a night like this.”

Your heart swelled as you took his hand. “This is perfect.”

The two of you settled on the blanket, the night air cool but not uncomfortable. Gi-hun opened the picnic basket to reveal an assortment of snacks, including the hotteok he always insisted on bringing.

“You know,” you said, laughing as you bit into one. “I think you’re singlehandedly keeping the hotteok business alive.”

“And I’m not even sorry,” he replied, grinning.

The night passed in a haze of laughter and easy conversation. You shared memories of your favorite childhood adventures, swapped embarrassing stories, and debated the best constellations in the sky.

At one point, Gi-hun lay back on the blanket, pulling you down beside him.

“See that one?” he asked, pointing to a cluster of stars. “That’s Cassiopeia. She’s the queen.”

“Didn’t she get punished for being too vain?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, queens make mistakes too,” he said with a chuckle.

You rolled your eyes, but your smile lingered. “I guess that makes you the court jester.”

“Wow,” he said, feigning offense. “And here I thought I was your king.”

“Not with those dad jokes,” you teased, leaning your head against his shoulder.

He chuckled, his hand finding yours. The silence that followed was comfortable, the two of you simply soaking in the moment.

“Hey,” he said after a while, his voice quieter. “I need to tell you something.”

You turned to him, your brow furrowing. “What is it?”

He hesitated, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “I know I joke around a lot, and maybe I don’t always say things the way I should, but… you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m really, really glad you’re here.”

Your chest tightened, his words hitting you harder than you expected.

“Gi-hun,” you said softly, reaching up to touch his cheek.

He turned to you, his gaze meeting yours. For a moment, neither of you said anything. Then he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was tentative but deeply heartfelt.

You responded without hesitation, your hands sliding up to his shoulders as the kiss deepened. It wasn’t rushed or frantic—just a slow, deliberate exchange that left you both breathless.

You move to straddle him, knees on each of his sides. Gi-hun blushes in surprise and tangles his hands in your hair, earnestly pushing you back towards him, connecting your mouths. The fingers on your right hand pull on the bottom of his shirt, while your left shoots up to stroke his curly hair. 

He groans into the kiss, hands now moving to your sides, squeezing slightly. When you let out a small whine Gi-hun cracks a smile and you feel his lips contracting during the movement, causing you to smile as well. 

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You’re amazing,” he murmured.

“So are you,” you replied, your fingers still curled in his shirt.

He kissed you again, this time shorter but no less meaningful, before pulling you into his arms. The two of you lay there beneath the stars, wrapped in each other’s warmth.

As the night wore on, you drifted into a peaceful silence, the occasional sound of crickets filling the air. You traced patterns on Gi-hun’s chest with your fingers, a contented smile on your lips.

“Thank you for this,” you said softly.

He pressed a kiss to your hair. “Thank you for everything.”

And as you lay there in the middle of the quiet field, you realized that with Seong Gi-hun, even the simplest moments could feel like magic.

[marbofmoorock]

TADC Autism

AU: TISM!!

Concept: All Circus members have the 'tism.

Short Story:

Caine as the ringmaster, decides that everybody will ride a train in this adventure, just because! NO QUESTIONS ASKED, (GET ON THE DARN TRAIN ALREADY, MY SUPERSTARS!)

Ragatha, wearing her special noise canceling headphones, is escorted onto the train by Pomni. Ragatha gets overexcited about trains, giggling to herself rather frantically. Pomni brings her horses so they can play Horses together in their shared train car. Pomni was quiet, almost mute, (as some autistic children have trouble voicing their own feelings, often very sensitive or anxious, crying without saying a word, since they're often nonverbal, while others are very verbal), yet Pomni always tried to show kindness towards her friends in her own often misunderstood anxious way. That especially goes for Ragatha as she was like her best friend. As she carried Raggy's large bags of toys, they thought of playing for hours, as Pommi understood how Ragatha felt, both sharing a bond of horses and dollies that only they shared.

Gangle and Zooble occupied the next train car bedroom. Gangle is reading her favorite manga, Azumanga Dioh, and Repeating to herself her favorite lines. Zooble goofily repeats them with Gangle, laughing with Gangle at the perviness of Kimura Sensei:

"BANZAAAAAIIIII" yelled Gangle Absentmindedly.

"BANZAAAAAAIII!" Chanted Zooble in return.

(Reference, because autism Below:)

"BANZAAAAAAAAAIIII!" They yelp together as they chuckle and laugh at how silly Kimura Sensei is.

Kinger and Jax are up in the front with something to do, as Caine made Jax an engineer, and Kinger the Conductor, as his blank stare, as goofy as always our was, he wore a Conductor outfit and hat.

"I feel really useful! ALL ABOARD!" Said Kinger in the silliest, cutest way, reminded of his childhood love for Thomas the Train.

Jax shovels coal into the fireplace, finding the repetitive tasks of working in the engine room to be satisfying. It was just the kind of action he needed. It was sure more interesting to take in the view and handle the train's mechanisms than it was to hang out with the girls. "Lame," thought Jax out loud as he continued to quietly talk to himself, like the autistic boy he is, oogling over how the train is moving orderly.

Caine pulls the whistle for fun!

"WOOOOWOOOO!!" Chanted Caine, he was having the time of his life, and couldn't be better. Autistic as he is! Bubble spun around in the air with Caine, giggling endlessly either him above the train as it shot down the tracks with great speed.

In the dining car train, Kaufmo sits at a table eating his favorite snack while watching random comedians on YouTube, learning about better ways to make jokes, obsessing over it as all autistic people do, having an expert level of information on the topic. Then there was Queenie, who took out her butterfly collection where she had a few pictures of beautiful butterflies, I love watching them, she thought to herself as she looked at all of her favorite pictures from her last nature trip, obsessing over entomology, seeing all of the cool pictures of different beetles she found. She loved beetles so much.

Dobby Dog sells stuff at the snack bar, hanging out and enjoying the view. Couldn't be happier, he thought as he quietly sat behind the counter reading a book on hot dogs, his favorite thing in the whole wide world.

They all later hang out in the Observation deck watching the stars later as the train roared on through the countryside.

Choochoo!

----

Edit: If you want more Kimura Sensei, I got you covered. Lol, he may be so creepy, but it just ends up being so hilarious in the anime. Especially when he yells Banzai!!!

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOGWywdivQ7KYicAZ_MtOkfgvad7IRdsz&feature=shared

Autistic Ragatha bc I'm autistic and I'm struggling to accept my differences

I also gave her little Tamagochi with Jax inspired by something @justtheclippy said on stream! (Ragatha tamagochi keychain coming soon! So stay turned 💜)

[conceptualsolitude]

Hi!!! I saw that you made a new post and I just wanted to say that you were one of the first people I followed many years ago when I made this blog and reading through all your words (I would scroll all the way to the bottom to your first post, like every other night before sleeping) got me through some rough times in high school and probably changed the trajectory of, like, who I am. It’s been a while since I went through this blog but I remember I had some of your art as my phone cases for years, and I still have them in a box somewhere (they used to hang on my wall when not on my phone) just because I was so into all that you did. I will have to scroll and find it, but one of your posts, it was something about Tomorrow, and Not Being Afraid, and though I can’t recall the exact words, I remember one night specially where I was so close to quitting a lot of things, because I could not handle the pressure of being around people or doing things or generally existing, and I read that before I went to bed and I remember it felt like seeing brand new colors bloom in my pitch black bedroom, like some kind of explosion of the mind (in a good way). And I repeated the words to myself as I fell asleep, and then when I got up before the sun I still spoke them, all the way until I got to what I was dreading and started my day. And that day was different, this is where it gets murky, but I remember that that day was so different, because I was different. And things just got Better for me after that. Like I said it’s been a while since I went through this blog, but I would check in some times the past couple years wondering if you posted again, and even if you don’t want to come back fully it was really nice to see your words again on my dash :) I think tomorrow afternoon ill scroll and try to get to the bottom of your blog like I used to (I can’t do it now, it’s kinda late for me and I try to get good sleep these days instead of scrolling tumblr all night like I used to haha). Anyway if you see this or read this no pressure to reply I’m not really expecting one, I just wanted to tell you, thank you.

this msg has been in my inbox for over a year and i was gonna keep it there but i think i'd like to share... it makes me very very happy and like this did all mean something good... thank you for being on this journey with me... it has meant a lot to me over the years and i think about it often

[andy-15-07]

Hello! Love your fics! Maybe a Paul Mescal fic about tattoos… like maybe after sex the reader and him are laying there talking about their tattoos?

Ink and Intimacy

PAIRING:Paul Mescal x reader

WORD COUNT: 1527 | requests are open (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Paul Mescal Masterlist

warning : smut

The sheets, crumpled and damp, lay tangled around them. Paul, his hair damp and plastered to his forehead, traced lazy circles on Y/N's hip. She sighed, a contented sound, and shifted closer, pressing her body against his.

"You know," she murmured, her voice husky from the aftermath of their lovemaking, "I've always wanted to get another tattoo."

Paul hummed in agreement, his eyes still closed. "What would you get?"

Y/N thought for a moment. "I don't know, maybe something small and delicate. Maybe a tiny bird, or a constellation."

Paul opened his eyes and looked at her, a mischievous glint in them. "Or maybe," he suggested, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "we could get matching tattoos."

Y/N's eyebrows shot up. "Matching tattoos? Paul, are you serious?"

He grinned. "Why not? It would be a way to always remember this." He leaned down and kissed her softly, his lips lingering on hers. "Besides," he added, "I think it would be kind of hot."

Y/N giggled. "You're impossible." But she couldn't deny that the idea intrigued her. "What kind of tattoo were you thinking?"

Paul shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe something simple, like a line. Or maybe a symbol that means something to us."

Y/N's eyes widened. "A symbol?"

He nodded. "Yeah, like a heart, or an infinity sign. Or maybe something more personal."

Y/N thought about it. "What about a moon?" she suggested. "It represents so many things – mystery, magic, the passage of time."

Paul's eyes lit up. "I love it. A moon. It's perfect."

They spent the next few minutes discussing where they would get the tattoos, what style they would choose, and what it would all mean. Y/N felt a thrill of excitement. This was something special, something they would share forever.

Later that day, they went to a tattoo parlor. The artist, a young woman with a nose ring and a constellation of stars tattooed on her arm, listened patiently as they explained their idea. She sketched a delicate crescent moon on a piece of paper, then added a tiny star to one side.

"Perfect," Y/N breathed, her heart pounding.

Paul grinned. "I can't wait."

They scheduled their appointments for the following week. In the meantime, the anticipation grew. Y/N found herself constantly touching the spot on her wrist where the moon would be tattooed. She imagined the cool sting of the needle, the feeling of permanence.

The day of their appointments finally arrived. Y/N, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement, met Paul at the tattoo parlor. They held hands as they walked into the studio, their fingers intertwined.

The artist set up her equipment and began to work. Y/N closed her eyes, trying to relax. She could hear the rhythmic hum of the tattoo machine, the steady thrum of her own heartbeat.

When she finally opened her eyes, the moon was there, a perfect little crescent on her wrist, sparkling with a delicate sheen. She gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. It was even more beautiful than she had imagined.

Paul, seeing her reaction, smiled. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She nodded, unable to speak. He leaned down and kissed her wrist, then whispered, "I love you."

Y/N looked at him, her eyes shining. "I love you too."

They spent the rest of the day celebrating. They went out for a celebratory dinner, then walked along the beach, holding hands and admiring their new tattoos. As they watched the moon rise above the horizon, Y/N knew that this was a moment they would cherish forever.

The sheets were tangled around them, a testament to the passion that had consumed them earlier. Y/N lay beneath Paul, his weight a comforting anchor against the soft mattress. Her breath hitched as he moved, his lips trailing a path down her neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"You taste incredible," he murmured, his voice a low growl against her skin.

Y/N arched her back, pressing herself closer to him. "You're not so bad yourself," she whispered back, her hands tangling in his hair.

Paul chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that sent shivers down her spine. He shifted, his hands moving lower, exploring her body with a practiced touch. Y/N moaned, her fingers digging into the sheets.

He leaned down, his lips finding the sensitive skin between her legs. Y/N gasped, her body arching involuntarily. He moved with a slow, deliberate rhythm, his tongue swirling around her, eliciting a series of involuntary moans from her.

She reached for him, her fingers finding the waistband of his boxers. He met her gaze, his eyes dark and intense. With a slow, deliberate motion, he lowered himself onto her, filling her completely.

Y/N cried out, her nails digging into his back. He moved inside her, his strokes slow and powerful, each thrust sending a jolt of pleasure through her. She arched her back, meeting him with her own hips, desperate for more.

He kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth as he moved within her. Y/N clung to him, her body trembling with the intensity of the pleasure. She felt herself nearing the edge, a wave of euphoria washing over her.

"Paul," she whispered, her voice barely a breath. "I'm—"

He groaned, his movements accelerating. "I know, baby," he murmured, his voice rough with desire.

With a final, explosive thrust, they both erupted, their bodies trembling in unison. They lay still for a moment, their breaths mingling in the air.

Paul pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with a lingering afterglow. "That was incredible," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

Y/N smiled, her heart still racing. "It was," she agreed, her voice soft.

He leaned down and kissed her gently, his lips lingering on hers. "I love you," he murmured against her lips.

"I love you too," she whispered back, her voice thick with emotion.

Paul shifted, his hands moving lower, tracing circles around her nipples. Y/N gasped, her body already tightening in anticipation. He leaned down, his mouth finding her breast, sucking gently on her nipple.

She arched her back, her hands gripping his hair, pulling him closer. He moved to the other breast, repeating the motion, his tongue swirling around her nipple, eliciting a low moan from her.

Y/N reached down, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw, then moving lower, exploring his chest, her hands lingering on the small constellation of stars tattooed there.

Paul groaned, his hands moving lower, exploring the sensitive folds between her legs. Y/N moaned, her body arching involuntarily. He moved his fingers inside her, his touch sending shivers of pleasure through her.

She reached for him, her fingers finding the waistband of his boxers again. With a slow, deliberate motion, she pulled them down, revealing him fully. He was hard and throbbing, a sight that made her gasp.

She reached for him, her fingers closing around him. He moaned, his head thrown back. She began to move her hand, slowly at first, then faster, her fingers tightening around him.

Paul's breathing hitched. "Y/N," he groaned, his voice rough with desire. "Don't stop."

She continued to move her hand, her fingers finding his sensitive spot. He cried out, his body arching involuntarily.

With a final, explosive burst, he came undone in her hand. He let out a low groan, his body trembling.

Y/N continued to stroke him, her fingers soothing his arousal. He leaned back, his eyes closed, savoring the afterglow.

After a few moments, he opened his eyes and looked at her, a mischievous glint in them. "Your turn," he whispered, his voice husky.

Y/N smiled, her eyes sparkling. She leaned down, her lips finding the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. He gasped, his body tightening.

She moved slowly, her lips tracing a path up his leg, then lower, exploring his most intimate areas. He moaned, his hands gripping the sheets.

She continued to move, her tongue swirling around him, eliciting a series of involuntary moans from him. He reached for her, his fingers tangling in her hair, pulling her closer.

With a final, explosive thrust of her tongue, he erupted again, his body trembling violently. He let out a low groan, his head falling back against the pillow.

Y/N smiled, her heart pounding. She leaned down and kissed him gently, her lips lingering on his.

"That was incredible," she whispered, her voice husky.

Paul smiled, his eyes still closed. "It was," he agreed, his voice rough with satisfaction.

They lay there for a while, content in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Y/N traced lazy circles on his chest, her fingers lingering on the small constellation of stars tattooed there.

"I love your tattoos," she murmured, her voice drowsy.

Paul smiled. "I love yours too." He leaned down and kissed the delicate crescent moon on her wrist. "It's perfect."

Y/N sighed contentedly. She knew this was just the beginning of their story, a story that would be written on their bodies, a testament to their love, forever.

[citrusbarking]

THE FULL STORY IN ONE PART VERSON :3

Country son who was basically raised by his farmer dad alone, his ma died during labour so he has always been his dad’s special lil bud, never more then fatherly tho. But cause of this be raised his kid to be underlyingly emotionally spoiled by his dad and unable to share him, so when his dad hired a young handsome farmhand and was all close with him. It.made.him.sick.

it was only made worse by the fact the farm hand was obviously sweet on his pops…giving him those eyes, always following him around like a pup, drinking out of the same flask as him and savouring the taste….it was driving him mad, especially when he saw the way his old man seemed to notice and not call him out.

One day the boys tolerance hit the fan after finding his dad and the farmhand wearing his fathers prized Stetson hat…getting cozy in the barn, his dad watching him bent over the tractors engine, standing right behind him while whispering in his ear and pointing to parts…the son could tell that the farm boy wasn’t fixing shit. So….he “accidentally” put something in the lemonade he made them, only in the farmhands ofc, he could never disrespect his pa like that <3

So when the farmhand eventually collapsed the Dad assumes the poor kid just got heatstroke and drove him home. So once he arrives back at this farm already feeling upset and not in the mood for bullshit he notices his son…the boy in the his Dads prized Stetson hat looking cold and upset he sighed.

“aight boy, you know damn well you ain’t supposed to be wearin that. What’s gotten into yer? Yer inside for heavens sake. Have some respect-“ he began lecture, the man’s bushy brows furrowed only to be cut off by his sons whine.

“why don’t you ever treat me like that huh? All sweet and lovin…” he began, taking the hat off and holding it close “im your son..not him…stop lovin on him like that! You don’t need his help you got me old man!” He began to ramble, glaring and hugging the hat but his Father grunted and cut him off.

“boy..listen that’s a different kind of lovin….its been so long since your ma passed and well…the farmhands sweet on me kid…he is givin me a kinda loving I ain’t have since your ma passed…im lovin on him like a lover.”he softly said getting on his level on the couch….

“And why can’t you give that lovin to me?!” The son snapped, his voice almost pleading now. “Why is it only meant for your lover?! I-I could do better than him!! Plus-plus I’m more like ma then he is!” He was cut off-

”boy. No.” His father demanded, once again getting cut off, the tension rising

The almost growl in his pops voice made the son flinch , but he continued to hold his stance. “Why not? Why is the only person who’s allowed to get that type of affection from you your lover? What’s so wrong with me getting that too?”

and like that…the fathers patience just…snapped

“Yea? Yea you want me to give you a lovers affection?” The older, bigger man near growled….yanking the hat from his son’s hands and shoving it onto his head….

“you asked for this.”

His father doesn’t say a word to the boy as he suddenly yanks the the sons legs up and throws him over his shoulder, not even giving him the privilege of at least walking in instead of being carried. He didn’t know what the hell had gotten into the damned kid but he was set on scaring the boy into line.

“You want me to love on ya kid? Your so fuckin instant on your fathers lovin touch eh?” The father growled, his thick arm, strong with years of working and breaking in much bigger things than his son, easily holding the boys legs in place.

The man continued down the hall to his modest bedroom and threw the now flustered and nerves racked boy down on the bed. “Y-yea! Yea damn right I do! Don’t you want your son to be happ—“ the sons usual manipulative spiral was cut off by his fathers tough hand over his mouth.

“shuttup. Your getten what you fucken begged for boy. You wanna be my lover so damned bad so getting treated like it. And I don’t take back chat from my own damned heifers” his father growled while his hand tightened, his southern accent thickening with a cocktail deep rage something else. The boys eyes where wide and taken aback, his father was a firm but big oaf with him normally, gentle while spoiling him with so much attention…it was complete whiplash but he wasn’t one to back down.

his father could easily recognise it in the boys hardheaded determination in the boys eyes. “Stubborn, just like your old man. Heh” he sighed with a slightly exasperated chuckled, he leaned closer and growled into the boys ear “so damned set in getting what you want eh boy? Dont you get what’s gonna happen to your boy..” he grunted, easily lifting and twisting the boy around on the bed so he is laying on his tummy..

“I’m gonna breed ya in the damned bed you were made in kiddo…if your so determined that you’d be a good lover cause your more like your ma” he pushed his head into the pillows, a panicked little noise coming from the younger boy “then maybe I should fuck you the same way I did the night I knocked her up yea? on the same damned mattress. In the same position… breed you with the same seed your made out of…” his voice reverberated in the boys ear, his final statement punctuated with the sound of his belt unbuckling…

In one swift movement he yanked the boy to the edge of the bed, a deep fearful whirlwind starting in boys gut made him second guess himself about this, he just wanted to alll his dads love and attention like he always had but..this..this felt to far…His heart was racing, knowing that this was crossing a line he should never have approached but before he could calmly tap out he felt his pants and briefs hit the floor.

“wait-wait dad-I’m sorry- never mind I’m sorry!-“ he began to beg and kick a little only to be cut off by his face being pushed into the pillows from behind. The soild feeling of the front of his fathers thighs pressed against the back of his was gut churning, he hit the mattress and tried to get free but he was completely trapped as his father thick arm wrapped around his torso and raised his legs as his back was in a perfect little arch. The father whistled “jeez boy….maybe I should be thanken ya kiddo…been a long time since iv seen a sight like this…lets see just how much you’ve taken after your ma.” He muttered, freeing his arm to thumb open the shamefully wet slit between his sons shaking thighs, his kids muffled protests and panicked tap outs got more frantic..with a harsh open palmed slap to the boys soft butt he reminded him “oi. Remember….you asked for this.” He gruffed in his fatherly tone, sliding two thick fingers inside his little boy.

He slowly started pumping them, the plush gummy walls of his own kid clenching and begging for more as the boy cried for less…. “Atta boy! See? Look at ya….fuck…breakin in just as easy as your ma did…” he praised and let go of the boys hair..

Pleasure started to slowly build in his stomach. It felt so good, but the knowledge of what he was doing to his own father was making him feel guilty, which only made the pleasure burn even more.

“Is this..is this how you acted with m-mama?” The boy whimpered through blubbering lips…his tummy twisting the fingers where suddenly removed, a void he wanted stuffed. “D-dad?” He whimpered before, in one sudden harsh stroke his dad buried himself balls deep into his little boy, the stretch made him cry out in pained surprise.

his pace was harsh and rymathic “I don’t want you whining about me loving on the farm boy again after this or next time you’re on your knees in front HIM. Got it?” he growled through moan strained pants, sliding nearly the full way out then plunging all the way back, his head kiss his own sons cervix at a unforgiving pace. Hitting all the right spots in the slick tight walls. Soon he became undone was deep moans and gunts.

all the ruined kid could manage was a string of “ah-ah-ah” and singing the word dad over and over between sobs, his thighs shaking and clenching, he could feel where his dads cock hit every time. The boys noises started to run together as the pleasure started to burn hotter and hotter in his stomach. He gripped onto the sheets and anything else he could grab tighter, his breathing getting quicker and louder as suddenly he spasmed around his dads thick cock. Screaming his dad’s name through it, sobbing. The sudden tightness and sight of his own boys cummies just….completely blanked his mind as he made a final swift plunge into the boys cervix, his seed filling him…it had been years since he came…it over flowed the boys beaten womb…..

after a couple seconds of hazy glory the older man sighed slowly pulled out of his shaken and broken in boy “shh..shhh easy now..atta boy…” he whispered gently turning him onto his back “deep breaths….g-god dammit..” he groaned seeing the pleasure drunk look on his boys face “Your not..meant to want this..this was meant to be a reality check bud…not..feed into your perversion” he whispered almost shamefully, it was no use though…his dad came inside……now he wound have his dad all to himself..forever <3

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

I genuinely think Destiny‘s story/lore is best enjoyed alongside the interpretations and perceptions of others.

Destiny lore has always stood out as phenomenal to me for its rich influences being utilized in ways that make an interesting universe, but what really breathes life into it for me is how much joy I receive when I get to share my thoughts with others and receive thoughts in return!! Some of my favorite aspects or entries were brought up by other people, either my friends or people in the community who post! There are things I am now enamored with that I completely missed when first engaging with that part of the lore or was completely unaware of that I only know of now because of others.

Everyone has interpretations that are affected by their identity, environment, and life experiences and seeing the diverse array of perceptions that are from people who differ from me in those regards has added so much to the lore! A reference I wasn‘t familiar with being pointed out means I can now draw new parallels, a mythology being used to analyze a plot beat helps me better understand how Destiny’s themes are articulated, a cultural view given on a certain character’s actions gives me perspective on how fiction reflects realities I have not experienced, etc. It’s all so exhilarating!!

I especially like when people use their schooling and specializations to flesh out the Destiny universe in ways the lore lacks!! I turn into the biggest nerd over that!! I’ve learned so much and have had my world view altered off of some of the insights people provided about Destiny!!

Who would have thought a game about community and valuing the perspectives of others would encourage you to engage with and contribute to a community in order to get value out of the perspectives of others

[johns-prince]

1967 is decidedly peak year for Lennon-McCartney as John and Paul were reportedly and observably the closest they ever been. Coming and going together, John always hanging around Paul's house, practically inseparable.

Then somewhere from the end of 1967 to the beginning of 1968, India happens, and just all of a sudden these two are having a falling out? For no real reason? Go on, you can't believe that.

1967, we know John and Paul started taking LSD together. While they were close before, tripping out like this gave them access to getting much closer to each other than before. We know the experience of dissolving into each other through that eye contact thing was described by Paul as both disturbing, but good, and other subsequent trips with John as fantastic because of this new access to each other in ways they hadn't realized was probably possible.

There really isn't much of John talking about these specific trips with Paul, but considering how insistent he had been to take LSD with Paul, and the fact they continued to take it together to the point even Jane was jealous of John getting to experience that with Paul—he was probably over the moon about it. Finally, he gets to experience this much much deeper connection with Paul, melds them into one, their thoughts and feelings becoming singular.

Aside from how much closer John and Paul had gotten, it seems the Beatles at a whole were as close as ever. You have their trip to Greece in the same year, and how there were talks about them buying an island and living on it together.

1967 was really the year for the Beatles, for John and Paul especially.

Still, there's reservations. Paul mentions how you can't come back from the kind of experience he shared with John. You could say that he meant between all them, but that's only because Paul has a habit of including the other two whenever he's uncomfortable with the strong use of “I, me, myself,” in conjugation with John in certain contexts. We were jealous, we loved him, we felt like he was leaving us. Paul only briefly mentions George and Ringo, like a second thought, when describing his first LSD trip with John.

But it was just Paul and John, and I'm sure there were many other subsequent trips that involved solely them.

So they can't go back. Their relationship has changed in a fundamental way that both excites and pleases and disturbs Paul. We can only presume John wasn't as disturbed by it as he was pleased by getting to have this closeness with Paul that no one else would be able to share in. It was all their own.

Paul loved the Lennon-McCartney relationship for everything that it was, but he probably didn't want it to swallow up his whole self/identity (which is normal) Additionally, while I believe Paul is actually pretty straight heterosexual male, I do believe he had this special exception for John—and how can you reconcile that? I don't think Paul had the emotional and mental capacity to quite start to confront the fact there was some romantic/sexual tension between him and John that couldn't just be explained away.

For comparison, Yoko was willing to let her whole identity be swallowed up in the JohnandYoko partnership and relationship that we know today. Because it was technically giving John everything he needed from a partner that would keep him satiated or delusional enough for her to keep him and his connections and finances under her thumb. Even when it inevitably frustrated her that she felt living and thriving off of John's coattails, she made the choice to forgo her individualism and identity for what being with someone like John could give her. There would be no Yoko Ono in the papers and in any relevance without John Lennon.

It was kind of a perfect storm because Yoko and John were both very insecure people, fearful of failure and being a failure and being left behind, whether that be by others or the world.

In another essay I would point out that Yoko got with John because she needed him, needed him to help her complete herself, to transform her into a cultural and artistic icon. I'm not sure she always necessarily wanted him by choice as she needed him as means to an end.

Paul didn't exactly need to be with John as much as he wanted to be John, he wanted to be by John, next to, creating, collaborating, existing with. That's why in a way it was kind of silly for John to fear Paul going off on a solo career after writing yesterday. If Paul wanted to leave John and the others he could've, but he didn't. He wanted to be a Beatle, he wanted to be John's partner, to continue making music together until they were old men. Paul chose to be with John because he wanted to be. Simple as.

Anyway, Paul might have his own complexes and issues but Paul wasn't dealing with the black hole in his chest like John was. He had his insecurities, but Paul never needed to meld his entirety with another to try and make himself complete. Paul was much more secure in himself than John, even if he had to fake it at times, Paul always seemed to know himself better. Paul didn't carry around a self-hatred and lack of self worth like John did.

From an outsiders perspective, I can't fault Paul for not either wanting to be John's everything and anything, and not being able to be that infinite everything and anything for John—because of the time, the place, the sex, all the psychosexual bullshit in between, and because in the end it probably would've devoured them.

I doubt John knew how to deal with it either. John was always prone to extremes, one or the other, you love me fully unconditionally or you don't. What made the whole affair unfair was that he had the hardest time believing anyone could love him fully unconditionally. And Paul did (he still does!) but there's only so much a normal human being with flaws and hangups of his own can take.

By 1968 it seemed like John was hardly in a great state—increasingly abusing substances, feeling completely trapped by his first marriage (no fault of Cynthia, she tried so hard to make it work and make him happy), smothered by expectations, Brian's death (he's cursed y'know, everyone who's ever loved him dies on him), and probably some kind of mental illness brought on by it all—John wouldn't have been in a very stable mindset to really consider or even care too much about any repercussions about leaving his first wife and child to then go gallivanting as a free man, with his best male friend, collaborator, and partner.

But Paul, steadfast, moderate and conservative, not yet completely in the mental anguish shitter like John is, would be conscious enough of these consequences, what it could mean for the band, for them. These things mattered. And maybe John's a special case but Paul's not gay so how could it work to begin with? If he can't make any justifications for it or excuses (maybe if I had been a girl I could have...) then it just can't be done.

Yeah we love each other yeah we want to be in each others pockets till the day we croak, we feel like we NEED each other like air in lungs (yeah we might've fucked) but there's nothing to do about it so we just need to go on like usual and keep it at that.

Because it worked fine before, the way we were dealing with it. Why try to fix something that isn't broken?

But it was broken.

John wanted more but Paul couldn't give it to him. Paul has a right to how he feels, we can never say exactly what, and he wasn't in any wrong in denying or rejecting John if that's what happened.

But, I've always believed too that Paul always had an unrealistic expectation of his own relationship with John.

Because it's just not fair to expect John to keep on going on like everything is normal and his relationship with Paul and all the feelings and wants that entails are normal.

Not holding similar feelings for a friend is just as valid as holding deeper feelings for a friend and finding you can't stay friends due to not being able to go back on these feelings.

But why couldn't Paul have John, and Linda, and a big family, and John. Why can't he have his cake and eat it to. Why couldn't John have his relationship with Yoko and still have his partnership with Paul.

Because they aren't normal best friends that's why. Their partnership wasn't normal. Even Paul admits to it. Paul had to “make way” for Yoko because in a sense he was John's first girlfriend. Of course Yoko couldn't be secure in her marriage with John if Paul was still in the picture. Even if Paul doesn't understand the depth of meaning behind this because he's preposterous doesn't make it any less obvious. And don't think for a second John would've made it any easier for Linda, and like hell Linda would've put up with it.

So, John was “if we can't be lovers we can never be friends,” and Paul was, “I'll have my cake and I'll eat it to.”

I'm not trying to paint anyone as a villain in this. Both sides are understandable, both sides don't actually want to lose the other, both sides love each other, they just have different perspectives and feelings on the matter.

It's whether these differences can be reconciled and reasonable compromises can be made.

But we're talking about John and Paul and as we know, these differences were not reconciled and they were not reasonable men to be making reasonable compromises. Also they were two men.

John wanted all or nothing. Paul couldn't give all, because it's unrealistic and because Paul probably already thought he was giving John as much of him as he could reasonably give. But it wasn't enough.

If they could have kept each other and their relationship as it was despite getting married, I do believe Paul would have had no problem keeping Linda and his kids in one box, and his special little relationship with John in another box. They were able to do it before with John's marriage to Cynthia, why couldn't the same apply?

We know why. Cynthia was never a real, genuine threat to Paul and the Beatles (but mainly Paul) in the end, John always chose to go off the other boys, to go stay nights over at Paul's home instead of staying home with his wife and kid. She simply didn't interfere.

The many girls Paul screwed around with, while certainly put John on edge, and he hardly liked or got along with any, weren't anything too serious and at that time John was willing to put up with it or he hadn't the capacity to really evaluate his life as it was and his relationship and feelings towards Paul.

But Linda was a genuine threat. She wasn't going away. Paul loved her, she could give him everything. And what could that mean for John, especially if he had been making his feelings known, he was pushing for something deeper, definitive, with Paul? How could John stand a chance.

Yoko was nothing like Cynthia. How John treated her and their relationship was nothing like his last marriage. Paul was no longer the sun in John's universe, it was Yoko, and for once Paul was actually put on edge, similar to that of Stu, if not worse. She was his wife, his partner, a woman, a girl. Since Paul wasn't a girl then what chance did he have to put a stop to it, what right did he have to say anything?

John starting it by bringing Yoko into their sessions as if to make a point. Maybe Paul got the point of he didn't not entirely but maybe he was tired and can't Paul McCartney get a little tired of these games when he's hopped skipped jumped and crawled to try and prove to John each time that yes I love, yes I won't leave you willingly, yes I'll put up with you because I love you and you love me right? We're in this together for the long haul.

Can't go back to compartmentalizing relationships outside of Lennon-McCartney, and it seemed their relationship couldn't remain as it were with wives and children between them. Things were different now, they were different. John and Paul had grown, and while their past comments about sticking together as partners even after the Beatles go bust, even in their old age, is cutesy and sweet and coming from young boys who really didn't know any better but knew they loved each other and loved creating together—what's to become of them now that Pandora's box had been opened.

It's all led up to the point when things begin to breakdown, the band starts to pull apart, relations splinter, and John starts bringing up divorce, divorce from the Beatles, divorce from Paul.

The details we won't be privy to, we can only speculate and theorize and piece the puzzle pieces. But it's such a short time frame for such a massive change from John and Paul's relationship in 1967—almost always found together, John at Paul's home, John and Paul arriving together to the studio, taking walks, dissolving into each other—to how they treated and behaved toward each other in 1968, especially after India.

Without proper communication, without making the effort to confront the reality of what they were to each other and what that might mean, plus the drugs and the alcohol, I'm not surprised these unexplained feelings between them began festering.

I've lost the plot somewhere halfway in the post. But something happened.

The final straw was probably in India. But before India, the tension must have been building, like the calm before a storm. Taking LSD together changed the way they saw their relationship, or maybe simply gave them a more honest approach to it, a much less inhibited understanding of what they meant to each other. It scared Paul, or worried him, but he still liked it, which might've been just as worrisome. John was probably thrilled about it, loved experiencing it with Paul, and it might have enlightened him further on what he actually wants. Though drugs should never be trusted. Then Brian died. The Beatles were shattered with grief. John was beginning to spiral. And then it was 1968, and in February the boys went to India. Everything changed significantly there. John and Paul spent a lot of time alone in one room. They were seen together a lot. John often gazing. Something happened. Something happened and we don't know what but it did. Sex? Maybe, maybe not. A confession? Maybe, maybe not. They come back, worse than for better. John works tirelessly to break Paul's heart and drive him to some sort of reaction. To fight, to stay. Love me love me. Paul couldn't or wouldn't because "if I had been a girl then maybe I could have..." but he wasn't so he they had to make way for Yoko. Paul loves Linda, John loves Yoko. They get married a week apart. John and Paul divorce the Beatles breakup. John really didn't actually ever love Paul and they didn't grow up in the same bed or write eyeball-to-eyeball and hey did you know he loved Yoko because she reminds him of a bloke in drag? She's me in drag. John actually manages to instill some of that insecurity and fear in Paul—about his talent, about who he is on his own, whether or not John ever loved actually him. They fight nasty like bitter exes. Paul is the first to lay down the arms with Dear Friend. John responds with Jealous Guy. They're on and off. Paul continues to try to make the effort to connect with John again, despite John and despite Yoko. The lost weekend happens, a total mystery in itself. Calls are missed and time still passes. John comes to the inevitable conclusion that he still loves Paul no matter how hard he tries to not love him, that he can't escape. John backtracks a lot. They start talking again. They occasionally see each other. They rent a studio to use after the new year in 1981. John is suddenly killed in December of 1980. Paul keeps John's name and legacy alive for years and years and years. Paul reminisces about their shared past like a widower. Their relationship will be compared to a marriage, a love affair like that of Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, and even soulmates. They are only ever known as brothers, collaborators, and friends.

The greatest songwriting duo that ever was. The lovers that never were.

[heaurtbeatings]

MAYBE WE’LL LOVE IT

Marriage is a difficult thing to decide on .. or, you finally say yes

600 WORDS - GN READER - FLUFF, NO CWS! ★ ׂ .

AUTHORS NOTE & MORE . .

sighs dreamily. oh how i love the idea getting married. might write the wedding.. be prepared who knows!

You had rejected the reality of marriage, at least for yourself. The idea of getting asked the big question, the venue and planning, walking down the aisle while staring into the eyes of the love of your life with a crowd of eyes watching. It was all so loving and peaceful, but you had settled on the fact that it was not your destiny. It was something that felt right to ignore until you had finally met someone who had you contemplating what your heart truly wanted.

“You know how I feel about this. I mean, like—“ you breathed out, running a hand through your hair as you stared up at Schlatt. It wasn’t uncommon that you spent late nights, or early mornings, in bed talking about your doubts with moving forward with him. Schlatt was an amazingly good listener, which surprised you at first with how gruff his persona was to outsiders, but it made you fall more in love with the sides of himself he chose to share with you. “Okay, but what if we do it and then I fall out of love.. Or you want to travel and work and do more, and I don’t want the same?”

“Then we figure it out.” He whispered as he placed a firm kiss to the top of your head. “You haven’t gotten that bored of me yet, right? So we figure it out.” He watched as you thought, smiling to himself as you shifted to hold his hand in yours. Imagining picking out wedding bands, carving out initials into the inside of them, exchanging rings at the altar. It all made your stomach burst into butterflies.

“But with me? Are you sure? There are so—“ you sighed softly as Schlatt silenced you with a shake of his head. He knew you as if he was connected to your heart, as if you two shared a brain. You knew he found it amusing when you kept going back and forth with yourself, trying to make sense of it all when you already knew what you wanted. It was his special skill: reading you like a book.

“This is big. I mean super duper big.” You spoke.

And I want big with you, toots.” He replied, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “Whaddya’ say? Gonna be my missus or what?”

“Oh yeah?” You asked in a flirtatious tone, laughing as you leaned in to lay on top of his chest. You could feel his body jitter as he chuckled, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah.” He said with a smile as big as ever as he took in your flushed face. “You know I got more than enough money to get you a big ass diamond if that’s whatcha’ want.”

“You’ve got such a way with words, y’know that?” You choked out through your laughter. Schlatt was it; you knew he was, and you knew what it meant. No more rejection, no more doubt, and no more running from the reality of what your heart chose.

“Okay..” you paused, settling in on the reality of what you were agreeing to. “Okay, yeah.” You watched as Schlatt eyed you in confusion.

He sat up on his elbows, nodding as he looked at you with surprise when he pieced together what you said. “Yeah?” He asked, mildly unsure if you were trying to trick him or if you had finally figured it out.

“How many times do I have to say it? Yes, I’ll do it with you.” You muttered, leaning in to kiss him. “I’ll marry you, dummy.”

[mattsobvimyfav]

neighbors (matthew sturniolo)

the final.

The soft hum of music played in the background as I sat on the back porch of our cozy home, sipping iced tea and watching the sun dip below the horizon. My mind was racing, my heart full of anticipation. I glanced down at the diamond ring sparkling on my finger and then at the small, wrapped box sitting on the table beside me. Tonight was the night I would tell Matt something that would change our lives forever.

The smell of lasagna—Matt’s favorite—wafted through the open kitchen window, mingling with the crisp evening air. I had spent hours making sure everything was perfect. Candles flickered on the dining table, casting a warm glow over the room. It was intimate and special, exactly the way I wanted this moment to feel.

The sound of Matt’s car pulling into the driveway made my stomach flutter. A minute later, the door opened, and he stepped in, his hair slightly damp from the rain outside and a playful smile on his face. He looked as handsome as ever, carrying that effortless charm that still made my heart skip a beat.

“Something smells amazing,” he said, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it by the door.

“It’s your favorite,” I said, trying to sound casual as I turned to greet him. “I figured we could have a nice dinner together tonight.”

He leaned down to kiss me, lingering just a little longer than usual. “You spoil me, you know that?”

I laughed nervously, biting my lip. “Well, you deserve it.”

We sat down at the table, the clinking of silverware and soft music filling the space as we ate. Conversation flowed easily—he told me about his day, and I listened, smiling at how animated he got when he was passionate about something. But all the while, my mind was racing. I could feel the weight of the surprise I was about to share, and my nerves were building by the second.

As Matt reached for his second helping, I cleared my throat. “Actually, before you eat more, I, uh, got you something.”

He froze mid-reach, his brow furrowing slightly as he looked at me. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” I said quickly, my voice shaky but steadying. “Just… open it.”

I slid the small, neatly wrapped box across the table to him, watching his expression shift from curiosity to confusion as he untied the ribbon and lifted the lid.

Inside, nestled between layers of tissue paper, were a tiny pair of black baby Converse sneakers, a onesie, and a folded note. He picked up the note first, his hands trembling slightly as he opened it and read the words I had written:

“You’re going to be a dad.”

For a moment, he just stared at the note, his expression unreadable. Then, he looked up at me, his eyes wide and glassy with disbelief. “Are you serious?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I nodded. “I’m serious, Matt. We’re having a baby.”

The next thing I knew, he had pushed his chair back and was around the table, pulling me into his arms. He held me so tightly I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling the overwhelming joy radiating from him.

“We’re having a baby,” he repeated, his voice breaking. “I’m going to be a dad.”

I laughed through my tears, pulling back just enough to look at him. “You’re going to be the best dad, Matt.”

He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears streaming down my cheeks. “And you’re going to be the best mom,” he said, his voice filled with so much love that it took my breath away.

He kissed me then, deeply and tenderly, as if he were trying to pour every ounce of his love and excitement into that moment. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine, his eyes locked on mine.

“This is the best surprise of my life,” he whispered. “I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” I said, my voice shaky but full of emotion.

The rest of the night was a blur of happy tears, excited planning, and Matt repeatedly asking if I needed anything—water, a blanket, a foot rub. He was already in full dad mode, and it made me laugh and cry all over again.

By the time we went to bed, the tiny baby shoes sat on the nightstand beside us, a perfect reminder of the new chapter we were about to begin together. Matt held me close as we lay in the dark, his hand resting protectively over my stomach.

As I drifted off to sleep, I felt a peace and joy I had never known before. Our journey had brought us here.

The last five years had been a whirlwind—a mix of life’s most beautiful highs and some challenging lows. It was incredible to think about how far we’d come, how much we’d grown, and how deeply our lives had intertwined with those we loved most.

Chris and Charlie had been the first to take a big step into parenthood, and it was as if the whole world shifted when they welcomed their daughter, Grace, into the family. Grace had her dad’s bright eyes and her mom’s unstoppable energy, and from the moment I held her for the first time, I was completely smitten. Charlie became my go-to for mom advice as I watched her navigate the ups and downs of parenting with equal parts grace and humor. Matt and I joked that Grace was prepping us for when we had kids, but deep down, I loved seeing Matt with her. He’d lift her onto his shoulders, make silly faces, and read her bedtime stories with so much enthusiasm you’d think he was auditioning for a Broadway play.

Nick introduced us to his boyfriend, Jonah, it was like the last puzzle piece of Nick’s life fell perfectly into place. Jonah fit right into our little group, his dry humor balancing out Nick’s dramatic flair. Seeing Nick happy and thriving in his relationship warmed my heart.

As for Matt and me, our love story continued to evolve. It hadn’t all been smooth sailing—far from it. About three years ago, we hit a rough patch that tested everything we thought we knew about our relationship. We were just drained and disconnected. Small arguments turned into bigger fights, and for the first time, I wasn’t sure if we could make it through.

Chris and Charlie stepped in, running what I can only describe as an unofficial couples therapy session. They had us over for dinner, let us vent, and then helped us unpack what was really going on. They reminded us why we fell in love in the first place and encouraged us to put in the work to fix what was broken. And we did. It wasn’t easy, but we came out stronger on the other side, with a deeper understanding of each other and a commitment to never let things get that bad again.

One of the most meaningful moments in the past five years was when Matt asked my dad for his blessing to propose. I didn’t find out about it until after the fact, but when my dad told me, I cried like a baby. My dad has always been my rock, and knowing that Matt went to him, nervous and earnest, to ask for his approval meant the world to me. My dad, of course, gave his blessing without hesitation, and the two of them had a moment I wish I could’ve seen.

The proposal itself was straight out of a fairy tale. Matt planned a vacation for us to Italy, a place I’d always dreamed of visiting. We were on the Amalfi Coast, walking along a secluded beach at sunset. The sky was painted in shades of pink and gold, and the gentle waves lapped at the shore as Matt led me to a spot where a picnic blanket was set up with wine, fruit, and candles.

I was in awe of the romantic setup, completely oblivious to what was coming. As we sat there, sipping wine and watching the sun dip below the horizon, Matt reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, “these past years with you have been the best of my life. I can’t imagine a future without you in it. You make me a better man, and I want to spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. Will you marry me?”

I barely managed to get out the word “yes” before I was crying and laughing and kissing him all at once. The ring he slid onto my finger was perfect—simple and elegant, just like us. That night, under the stars, we celebrated the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

Looking back, the past five years were filled with so many moments—some difficult, some joyful, but all of them meaningful. They were ours, and they brought us to where we were now: engaged, happy, and ready to take on whatever came next together.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @slut4christopherr @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend

[juchioris]

Undine Eisner No Yan Sim AU Q&A

Link to her Introduction post CLICK HERE

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Yes. Undine lives with her parents and has a good relationship with them. Her parents, followers of right-wing populism, are a bad influence, raising their daughter (only child) to be racist, queephobic etc. The teachers at the school step up and try to teach her to be more tolerant.

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

Quartz has an unusual skincolour, so... While Undine doesn't outright bully people with a different skin colour, her racism manifests in a casual form, by her avoiding them, being wary of them and being less kind to them. For example, Undine would help Quartz, if she sees another student bullying/attacking her (unless she knows of a context that justifies it, like... you know... Quartz trying to kill someone), but she wouldn't help her if she fell down or dropped some things, when she would help white students in such little scenarios. Since she is so distant, Undine isn't close to Quartz at all. She barely knows her. Undine has no idea, what she's up to. While Undine isn't crass enough to admit it out loud, she is more suspicious of not-white people, so she will easily suspect Quartz to be a criminal.

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Undine has no respect for guys who have a harem (which Azul has in this AU apparently, lol). Someone who can't choose and commit isn't worth her (romantic) interest. Normally, Undine stays away from Azul and his admirers. She has actually never met him alone until now and has never had a proper conversation with him. She only knows him from seeing him around and hearing other people's stories about him. She will protect him from harm and danger, but out of principle - Undine will try to save every student, whose life is in danger.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

Crowley: If Miss Eisner gets sent to my office one more time for political incorrect commentary, I shall have her put together and hold a presentation about why discrimination is unacceptable and the benefits of tolerance at school. A recording of that will look good on the school's website - I mean it is good to share the resource with the public, so that everyone can learn from it...

Azul: Undine is easily one of the most foolish students here, very naive and narrow-minded. I don't like people like her.

Vil: Undine is a perfect example of someone who has neither skill nor talent in acting. Unfortunately, she tries to put up her nice-girl-act every day, despite that. It's so bad, that no one could fall for it...

Ace: Yeah, Undine is really way too nice. She just agrees to help me with everything I ask of her, as long as I don't want her food or ask her to go throw my trash away. I found out that her limit of taking requests from the same guy is two per day, then she catches on that she gets used as maid and gets snappy, hehe.

5. What grade/year is your OC?

First year

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

Get good grades, do good, be heroic.

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Outrageous! Undine will prove her innocence and look for the real killer! If she knows who framed her, she can guess the killer is also Quartz.

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Yes.

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

Undine doesn't skip class. She eats lunch in the cafeteria. She is either going through the school alone or with her frival Yuu Quinn.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Overall good, but nothing special. She's failing English, because she is too far beneath the first language level, that is taught here.

(No Yan Sim AU) Questions for OCs! + Quartz and other characters' lore

You don't have to do these if you don't want to! You can write and answer how ever you want (3rd person or as the OC)

These answers are just examples and they also give lore to other TWST characters in the AU

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Riddle currently lives with his mother. Because of her influence, he is the strictest in the student council (which consists of the dormleaders.)

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

[You can yap about it here since I already used Quartz as an example in the fourth question]

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Jade is Azul's right hand man. He assists Azul with a lot of student council work and is mostly by his side with Floyd. They are friends from their middle school days and up to their highschool days (although the three of them won't admit it).

Jade found Azul's hardwork and scheming nature very exciting so he and his brother always stayed by Azul's side to see what fun events would happen.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

[They are speaking about Quartz as example]

Floyd: "Who again?"

Floyd doesn't really acknowledge Quartz since she's so quick out of his sights. Genuinely believes there isn't a person named that but is suspicious.

Jade: "Oh, that shy girl? She's a little funny."

Definitely suspicious of Quartz but they don't interact much so he has no other information about her. He probably needs to be more skillful when studying her.

Riddle: "Quartz?.. Uh.. I-I don't recall who that is."

Quartz rarely interacts with Riddle.

Ace: "Ah? You mean that girl who's always so weird? I've seen her watch Azul. Pffftt! Do you think she likes him?"

He notices her sometimes because he thinks her appearance is a little flashy.

Idia: "I-Isn't she one of Azul's admirers?... She's the shy type right? She's a little strange though.. Sometimes she takes photos of me! W-Wait.. Maybe she's into me instead?! EEEKK!! H-HOW SCARY!!"

Completely misunderstands Quartz's actions but he's quick to know how weird her actions are. He stays away from her if Azul isn't present.

5. What grade/year is your OC?

Azul, Jade, and Floyd are all 2nd years (17).

Leona has been held back so he is still 20.

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

Quartz wishes to kill Azul 🙏

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Floyd is jumping her.

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Riddle is absolutely reporting that! He's calling the cops and everything 🫡🫡🫡

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

Quartz is always in class but she'll come right before the bell rings since she was.. busy. She doesn't have a particular place she goes to all the time. She's never in one spot.

Quartz's lunch spot varies because she's always spying but her usual spot is in the courtyard.

Riddle is assigned being a hall monitor so he usually watches the halls when he is able to. He usually eats lunch with Trey and Cater.

Leona is always found napping under trees and skipping his classes. Ruggie manages to find him and give him his lunch from the cafeteria.

Rook is watching you.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Deuce tries, ok. (Awful)