#this is the shit I use my graphic design certifications for

[battfishe]

this came to me in a vision

[pikslasrce]

im going to do it for real this time (drop out and get a job)

[foxpunk]

would like to make a note for mac users: if you can help it do not use avira. it's owned by the same parent company as avast (and avg. both are notorious for shit business ethics, shit customer privacy protection, and shit bloatware). gen digital is good at taking your money and bad at protecting you and it is on purpose lmao. please use malwarebytes it works on mac just fine. if you're broke like me and are fairly tech savvy (or willing to experience a learning curve) use clamAV

Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:

Replacing a HDD with an SSD

Adding RAM

Graphics cards if you're nasty

Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you're using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you're using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)

Customizing what runs on startup for your computer

Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:

Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin

adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren't constantly reloading

Closing some fucking tabs bud I'm sorry I know it hurts I'm guilty of this too

Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:

Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.

Correcting disk utilization errors

Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:

Clearing cache and cookies on your browser

Restarting the computer

Changing your screen resolution

Uninstalling unused browser extensions

Things that do not actually make your computer faster:

Deleting files

Registry cleaners

Defragging your drive

Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.

This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.

[omkdear]

Recently, a friend I’ve known for over 20 years casually compared my art to AI-generated work. At first, I thought I was okay with it - we talked it through, she apologized, and I accepted. But the comment has lingered, and frankly I’m still in a weird place. This is someone who I rode the bus with as a pre-teen and teen, we had art courses together, I helped her finish her graphic design certificate by driving her to college every other day because gas is fucking expensive. I’ve believed in her and supported her, and while she framed it as “I was just looking at the thumbnail and didn’t click the link”—the fact she would default to that, is just, ouch.

So, once again I’m thinking about the different relationships people have with art. For some, it’s a hobby that brings joy and creative satisfaction. For others, it’s a professional pursuit they’ve dedicated their lives to ‘mastering’. And then there are those of us for whom art is literally survival - a constant companion through trauma. All are valid, and humans should have access to art. There’s a giant, more nuanced conversation to have about AI and accessibility, but that isn’t quite the point of this rant—at this juncture, machine learning is not equitable. Period. Moving on.

Now, for me, art was there before I understood why I experienced the world so differently from others. Before my autism and ADHD diagnoses as an adult, when the world felt overwhelming and incomprehensible, art gave me a language of my own. It didn’t demand that I process things the way others did. It let me stim, hyperfocus, and express what I couldn’t put into words at that age. Through childhood trauma, art was my safe space - a world I could control when everything else felt chaotic. (When I did eventually find the ‘words’, I began to write as well) but the act of putting color, marks on a page was still my go-to. As an adult, after more trauma, eventually both art and writing became inaccessible to me due to being diagnosed with a clusterfuck of shit: CRPS, chiefly among them, that shares the association with a few other diseases as being labeled the ‘suicide’ disease.

From 2017 onward, my life was altered dramatically. When chronic pain and permanent disability made traditional paths impossible, art adapted with me, and decided to pursue Art History instead of getting my BA in Studio Art. When friends disappeared after my diagnosis, art stayed, even in it’s more academic form. Through the current isolation of being immunocompromised during COVID and the sheer neglect in the U.S , art gave me purpose. It’s been my voice, my processing tool, my reason to keep going. To clarify, this isn’t about hierarchy - no one’s relationship with art is more ‘valid’ than another’s. But it does mean we experience conversations about art and creativity differently. Primarily when we talk about machine learning now. When art has been your lifeline since childhood, your way of understanding yourself as a neurodivergent person, your constant through disability and isolation, comparisons between human and AI art hit differently. They touch something deeper than technical skill or creative ability. I'm sharing this because I want people to understand why some of us react so strongly to these discussions—even when you remove the context of machine learning, there’s always ‘hot’ takes that completely disregard our varied experience (as is the nature of hot takes). It's not elitism or traditionalism - it's about honoring a profound, life-sustaining relationship with creative expression that has shaped who we are. Art can be many things - a hobby, a profession, a passion. For some of us, it’s also survival. The same tools - whether traditional or digital - mean different things to different people. It’s about understanding that behind every piece of art, there might be a story of survival, of processing, of finding one’s way through a seemingly innumerable level of bullshit. The last year, I’ve worked so hard on my art and writing. I’m over 500k + in my pre-war Fallout longfic (still editing and writing, too!) and I’ve done more art this last year than I’ve done since I transferred from studio art to art history in 2019. And it’s been amazing for my brain to be able to have some semblance of community and frienship interacting creatively.

It makes the pain I experience every moment of my life now, tolerable. It’s also why I have a problem with trying to sell myself—doing commissions, etc. even though I am permanentely disabled both physically and cognitively now and it’s the only thing I really have in terms of skills to make money. My relationship with art is just different than others, and I wish people understood how devestating comments like what my friend said flippantly can be. Anyway, I’ve ranted long enough, and I may delete this. If you happen upon it across your dash and choose to read, I hope, if nothing else, you examine your own relationship to the arts.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Fuck Zionists and liberals, they are equally fucked up, Zionists are sadists and liberals are ignorant

Not only has the number of people interested in Gaza decreased, but I also have to meet this parasite (because I won't call you people anymore)

And my Internet randomly stops working…

Liberals will probably bash me in the comments anyway, because their level is like that of a fourth grader, because how come you hate Harris and Biden? You must be a Russian troll or some shit! (Because it wasn't because I saw children torn apart, people carrying body parts of loved ones in plastic bags and a father who went out to get a birth certificate for his twins, only to come back to find out that his wife and children were murdered by a bomb 100% supplied by the USA…)

Yes, liberals and Zionists piss me off, they're on the same level of being disgusting people

(Okay, I replaced the USB, but I will have to find a new USB because I use a mobile host)

Now that I have your attention:

--------------------------------------------------------

Yes, an additional entry under the collection links, it doesn't appear very often, I'm aware of that

Remember that Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga are silent about Gaza (And also about Sudan and Congo)

Also, fuck Rowling, but she knows a lot (Only the HP fandom will defend her…)

The actors and screenwriter in "Stranger Things" turned out to be Zionists, so if you want to watch the series, I recommend illegally, because legally you will give money to people who are disgusting bigots

(Okay, USB change worked, Internet doesn't crash every second)

But yes, lately it's been getting harder and harder to raise money because fewer and fewer people are interested in Gaza, which is depressing on many levels…

By the way, a liberal chimed in, I'm in the middle of writing a post and yes, what could be worse than rapes and the torn bodies of children? Besides, in Yemen he has the death penalty, so you can send him there, you know, there is a way to get rid of Trump, with Harris and Biden it is not so easy (Although Biden is old… Maybe he will die on the way)

But Harris? I don't know, some crazy person would have to show up, although I don't support assassination attempts on presidents and such (But yes, she would either have to lose or leave the elections, I have no idea, because she's too young, so the chance of her leaving would be like waiting for the death of Queen Elizabeth… I know she's dead, but with Elizabeth's death, dead memes about her immortality)

I have no idea what to do with Harris, because Trump can be sent to Yemen, and Biden will either die in many years or lose the intellectual capacity to rule the country (No, sorry, both of them probably won't live long, they are men, not Queen Elizabeth)

By the way, Putin doesn't look young either… 71 years old, you know what the average age of men is

Literally, retirees lol

I doubt Biden, Trump, or fucking Putin will live to be a hundred

So this text "Trump is worse" sounds even funnier, because he is 78 years old, and you know that in a year he may suddenly be incapacitated, because old age has that effect (It's already visible in Biden's case, Trump, with all this stress and everything, probably won't live long…)

In addition, if we take into account the diet in the USA and CO2, because Americans must have a million cars, you understand, an additional shortening of life

I have more doubts about Putin, because he doesn't live in the USA… But considering his age, it's only a matter of time before the effects of aging catch up with him

Hey, Benjamin is 74 years old, although this fucker is probably worse than Trump (Sorry, I had to parody liberals), and seriously, it's terrifying when liberals talk about how evil Trump is, but they remain silent about the genocide because of their white American privilege is more important

Okay, attack from liberals and Zionists in 3… 2… 1…

Coming back to the collections, this is the only way for them to arrive, unfortunately, I can never guarantee that it will happen, and that sucks, because many families live on the edge, because they never know whether they will be the next victims of an Israeli attack… And many collections last for many months and often stop at a certain amount, which means that few collections reach the very end :/

And only being angry can increase the post's reach or tagging to many tags (Because I will not give money to a Zionist company, sorry, but not only do I not have a bank account, I also do not earn money, and I would prefer not to give money to a company that pays Zionists to interacted with people fighting for Palestine)

As I mentioned, I'm worried that fewer and fewer people are talking about Gaza, and this makes it difficult to reach people, even the Palestinians themselves have a big problem with it (That's why they often put tags unrelated to the post, unfortunately, they risk having the post with the collection removed for spam…)

It doesn't help that Tumblr shadowbans tags about Palestine (Fucking Zionist yohoo, but what do you expect from a company that showed off transphobia?)

I deleted deviantart (some time ago) because it turned out that it belongs to an Israeli company (This explains a lot why there are so many disgusting Zionists), I have a blog on tumblr because I can't find an alternative, and on this blog my art gets lost, which makes it difficult with colored OCs because it may result in changing complexion, and we all know how people react to it…)

I also noticed that many Zionists use Jewish tags (Which sucks because they promote that every Jew is a Zionist, which is not true), so yes, more and more Zionists will be found there, I don't know what Jews supporting Palestine feel and see Zionist shit, but I know it must be depressing on many levels (You are strong, you have to deal with them anyway, but the fact that you have the courage to fight for Palestine is a sign of strength, the Zionists are weak, you are strong)

I doubt anyone will read it all to the end (Knowing liberals and Zionists, they will start writing insults)

[studyeonjena]

Introducing Me!

Hello! I am Bella, also known as studyeonjena, formerly known as westernstudies. I decided to redo this intro since I am revamping this page and also I have changed so much since the last time I posted this intro.  Without further ado, I present a small glimps into my life;

a mini bio:

My name is Bella, and I am 20 (an Aries) as well as a Junior in Uni. I am currently studying Behavioral Science and Social Science. I have a certificate in CompSci and Graphic/Web Design. I am very passionate about my beliefs on politics and am not afraid to argue with you if I think your ignorance will genuinely affect human lives. I get sick VERY easily and have the worst immune system in the world. I have had some bad problems with both physical and mental health over the last year and it has been very hard but I hope doing studyblr again will get me back on track with my studies. I love music, art, rain and coffee. Lastly, my personal outlook on life is that everyone has kindness in them, but it is not up to you to show those who treat you like shit the kindness they neglect to give you.

hobbies:

watching YouTube, reading, hiking and camping, discovering new music and singing along poorly, reading fanfiction, starting but never finishing art and craft projects, driving around, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling until I eventual tire myself out.

Connect with me:

 Personal Tumblr:  @camisadoclouds

Personal Instagram: @aestrieella

Personal Twitter: @bellasj0y

Personal Youtube: Star Girl

Spotify: Peaches

QUICK FAXS:

I am an INFP (Meditator)

Trying to be a Pescatarian

Astrology Lover (Aries, Leo, Aquarius)

Tree Hugger/ Earth Lover

Religion is complicated

HUGE Horror fan

Kpop fan

Spencer Reid Enthusiast

Not a Brony but I do enjoy My Little Pony

Trying to get into Adventure Time

Really wanna penpal

Former Emo Kid

GIANT Geek

ADVID British Joke Consumer

Chinese Meme Conisour

Language Learner

Trying to become a streamer

Terrible French speaker

interests:

I like to watch tons of different genres of youtube, these days I watch a lot of compilation videos and such

I’ve decided to take up reading again

Art

Video/Photo Editing and Taking

I prefer movies over tv shows, unless it is Asian Dramas

I enjoy baking

Dancing

Learning languages

favorites:

movies: Battle Royale, Midsommar, Crazy Rich Asians, Percy Jackson, As Above So Below

shows: A Business Proposal, Falling into Your Smiling, Full House (Korean), Crash Landing on You, Criminal Minds, Sailor Moon, So I Married an AntiFan and many more

colours: Powder (pink, blue, ect), Yellow, Navy, Maroon, Orange

albums: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out - Panic! At the Disco, Any Lovejoy album whatsoever, Sour - Olivia Rodrigo, Arrival - ABBA, Manifesto - Enhypen, Superache - Connan Gray

video games: Minecraft, The Sims, AmongUs, Portals

food: Sushi, Noodles, Popcorn, Tteokbokki, Japchae, rice

drinks: TEA, COFFEE, Orange Soda, Sprite, Ginger ale, dr. pepper

aesthetics: Light and Romantic Academia, Y2K Cyber, Cottage Core, Emo/Scene and sometimes Gothic.

I like to describe my aesthetic under the name Persephone Inspired.

TXT and IKEA for some reason

classes:

Winter Semester:

Still Determining

Spring Semester:

Still Determining

Summer Semester:

Internship in Hawaii

goals:

finish relearning Korean, Japanese, and Spanish ASAP

BULLET JOURNAL MORE, I am so much more productive and organized when I use my buju.

make all A's these next two semesters

eat and be healthier

participate in as many studyblr challenges as possible

have 1 year of productivity

do okay while streaming

Get an iPad

[sassypotatoe1]

I've always been like this too when I was 11 and 12 I worked in the school library, and only 12/13 year olds were technically allowed to work the computer, and covering and labeling new books as well as collection rounds and laminating files were the teacher's responsibility because children can not be trusted typically, except I was a crazy perfectionist and since the first grade my mom and I have been covering and labeling my school books and folders together at the start of the year, every year.

So one day the teacher asks me, 11 at the time and the only "staff" available in that moment, to laminate a few posters for her class while she graded some tests. She wasn't worried about me fucking it up because it didn't have to be perfectly straight, just all within the laminate sheet and not crumpled, but then it was perfectly straight. All 16 sheets. And so laminating became my responsibility at 11 years old for 2 years, because I could do it neater than the teacher herself. She charged R2 (like 10% of a Usd) per sheet and I got 30c of that for my labor. I had like 80 bucks by the end of the two years and learned a lot about basic debtors and creditors sheets keeping track of the payments from teachers and students laminating their shit and the cost of new orders of pockets.

Given how neat my laminating was, when I was 12 and the book fair came to the school, and the teacher acquired about 50 new books, I was responsible for covering and labeling them, because at that point I also had the Dewey decimal system down pat and knew exactly, without having to be told, how to label the books. I've forgotten it completely since but I suspect if I just scanned through it again I'd remember it all. I also figured out the electronic checking system in like an instant, by watching the teacher use it, so I was given early access to the system and checking books out and in.

So little preteen me was basically a fully qualified librarian at that point, and I rode that high all throughout my teens, taking jobs with school admin during school holidays, doing graphic design, printing, laminating, filing and organizing. All unpaid of course but I didn't care I LOVED it and I was GOOD at it, and if my disabilities ever catch up to me I would be perfectly happy and content working in the local library at the checkout counter or as a secretary.

I also got involved in office drama really young imagine a 13 year old student at your school is there for the holidays because their parents couldn't get off work or a babysitter and got bored and asked if they could help you in the office, and you're like yeah whatever I'm swamped, and this kid just whips up the design for the next prestige evening's certificates in between tasks, and the school uses it, and then you're bitching about Susan in accounting refusing to release budget for an order of printing paper and said 13 year old goes "oh I know right? One time I had to ask her for" and continues with an insane story about Susan from accounting and suddenly you have a gossip buddy... In a 13 year old student from your school who got bored and wanted to help out.

I ended up becoming a journalist for, hopefully, obvious reasons but teacher or librarian were top contenders at one point, and I think I'd make a great one of either of those if journalism doesn't work out for me.

[shanlonwrites]

I am applying for my dream job as an exhibit planner and writer with an exhibit design firm and I have to go through all of my work from my previous job to build a portfolio. And it is just reopening that trauma all over again. Yuck. 

I have been terrified of getting a full time job again because my last job was so stressful that I would come home, sit down, and cry on the reg. I didn’t have the energy to do anything but go to work, come home, and half-watch TV. No socialization, no going out, I only cleaned on the weekends. I was depressed. Because I constantly felt like I couldn’t keep up. 

The plus side of it is: the more I am forced to examine that job, the more I realize just how batshit crazy it was. Do you know what I accomplished in just a year and a half working there?  

TOO MUCH.

I made a list (below) and Jesus H Christ, it’s no wonder I felt like I couldn’t keep up!

Stuff I did in 19 months as “graphic designer” at this startup: 

- created a brand guide

- performed historical research to correct factual errors about what was a top-secret military site, with zero budget for materials

- completely rewrote the tour manual

- trained new tour guides

- helped hire new tour guides and event staff

- created signage for the interior and the exterior

- created designs for multiple vouchers, gift certificates, pamphlets, and flyers - most of which went unused because I was also expected to hand those out myself I guess. I had almost no direction in any of this.

- planned and executed an Easter event

- planned and executed two major Halloween events, one of which involved soliciting donations from local businesses

- planned, designed, and project managed, acquired furnishing for, and tested and adjusted, the construction of a full escape room

- created 8 pieces of original art for the original escape rooms

- created 9 more pieces of original art for my own escape room

- planned, designed, constructed, tested, and operated a mini pop-up escape room for festivals

- ran both of those escape rooms, as well as all of the events, myself (with help! but still)

- planned, filmed, and edited together something like 15 “professional quality” videos (I am not a photographer or a video editor)

- shot all of the photography used in social media (until we hired a photography student as an event staff, and thank goodness for her!)

- planned, wrote, and managed social media content, including a blog

- this involved constantly having to push back against cheapo hack firms the boss kept hiring to plan our social media for us, and which only ended up making us look like cheapo hacks. One of those cheapo hacks mansplained UX to me, a UX designer. His UI was u n u s a b l e. 

- completely redesigned and rebuilt the website; also managed the website, which I was not aware was part of that deal until I was asked why I wasn’t doing it (”Because you literally never asked me to but okay I guess.”)

- designed, ordered, sold merch (t-shirts and stuff with the business logo on them for some reason???)

- investigated and helped select appropriate booking software for our needs. Twice.

- managed bookings and set up the software

- managed large group bookings

- full branding for a laser tag league that never came to be

- multiple poster designs

- designed, painted, and decorated four esports rooms

- designed and decorated a birthday party room

- set up attendance at multiple local events to spread awareness, then staffed the events myself

- cooked hamburgers and hot dogs for goddamn paintball players on the weekend

- planned a failed Valentine’s day event

- which failed because I was also in charge of marketing and not only am I not a fully trained marketer, have you seen the list of other shit I was supposedly responsible for? 

- More???

Fuck me, I guess I can see why I was so stressed all the time. 

[lestcat-de-lioncourt]

I’m getting some guy who can only draw stick figures mansplain to me how I should practice doing my drawing.

I have spent my entire life drawing. If that wasn’t good enough, I spent 3 years in college verifying that I know how to, and know how to learn further and practice. I’ve been professionally taught, as well as the added years of experience I gained self teaching.

I have completed 2 courses with multiple distinctions and merits, and at least a pass on the rest. I am sick and tired of cis men mansplaining my knowledge and skills to me, whether it be that or filming, writing scripts, directing and film editing, the visual media course includes that strangely enough.

I am tired that cis men often seem to think they simply just Know more than me, off the bat, not even with the level of qualifications and experience as I have, which unfortunately feels like it goes to waste due to my level of anxiety with doing anything and feeling like it’ll be shit despite certificates to prove otherwise.

I use what I enjoy drawing to practice. I’ve already learnt how to draw. I know how to find reference, inspo, the mere basics, and it’s poor of someone to even assume you don’t even know that especially as soon as they find out you do art. Strangely enough, that’s how I can draw.

I’ve learned stop motion, created it, filmed it, animation, I did a HAND DRAWN, EVERY SINGLE PAGE, short film that was a few inches thick and took half a year, visual media design, life drawing, realism, cartoon, poster design, graphic design, website design, logo design. I’ve had a company already use a logo designed by me. I’ve had an exhibition. I’ve had my art put up in the local museum before I was 10. (I feel like I’m showing off but THIS HAS LITERALLY HAPPENED and why the fuck shouldn’t I not talk about it, not talking about it isn’t getting me anywhere tbh. This year is gonna be “try and be proud” year, because I’ve had enough of shoving myself down.)

Fucking hell man back the fuck up. Stop being so shocked that people Know Things already. It’s so demeaning.

Maybe if I was a cis man my stick figure could be a teaching to us all. I would be God.

[salora-rainriver]

Against my better judgment I’m diving into the discourse:

@monsieurhedge in precisely one year, if all goes well, I will have a full certification to teach elementary classrooms. I’m certified in first aid and CPR. I have a bachelor’s in anthropology, and like - I can also draw.

Extending this to my family, I know a lawyer who also manages properties for a living and knows construction work, a chiropractor-in-training (yeah, i know, but he IS studying anatomy so theres utility there), a politically-active currently-unemployed graphic designer, and an actual literal doctor. All scattered to the four winds but i can contact them easily. And they themselves all have contacts with varying skillsets of varying utility.

Not even getting into the proximity I have to the immediate community here in [LOCATION CENSORED]. No details, but at any given moment I may be able to contact someone working one of a variety of blue-collar jobs.

My point here is we’re not all ineffectual posters. Many of us have real jobs, or know people who have real jobs. Mutual aid looks ineffective to you because you’re seeing the mutual aid of a disconnected massive online community, that is wholly incapable of focusing efforts to such a fine-tuned degree and also feels largely powerless. So no shit all they can do is e-begging. What my mutual seems to be implying is we should try building stronger relationships with our immediate community, forming stronger and more intimate communities that can then more effectively prepare. Think about your own family, your friends, your family’s friends, and the people in your town or city. If your city sucks, find 20 or 40 folks who don’t suck.

Don’t go doomer on us just because you’re buying into the stereotype of internet users being NEETs. That would be probably the most pathetic reason to give in to despair.

Not to electionpost but I think the fact that we're seriously debating whether or not the president can pardon himself is evidence that we're fucked on a deeper level than a future risk of something bad happening

[thewriterslament]

writing a resume from scratch

as with literally everything i write, this got really fucking long! like, wordcounter.net estimates this will take 7 minutes to read. so i’ve placed the bulk of this post under a read more

this is not a quick tips kind of post; this is a detailed breakdown of how to write a resume from scratch, with examples that are largely taken from my own resume. this is primarily a resource for people who don’t know where to start with writing a resume, not for people who just want resume hacks

i’m saying all this so i don’t get people in my inbox complaining about how long this is. writing a resume takes a lot of time and effort, and this post does not shy away from that

creating a resume will take you a while, especially if this is your first attempt. don’t be discouraged! take breaks, and don’t try to make the perfect resume on the first try. this tutorial is designed to be completed in rounds

it usually takes me a week to get a new master resume into working order

don’t worry about page length right now. you should make a multipage master resume that contains every relevant experience before making a 1-page resume. after you’ve made the master, you can build custom resumes from it for job applications

this post is best viewed on desktop, because i use nested bullets, and tumblr mobile hates those

let’s get into it!

step 1:

list out everything you’ve ever done that could feasibly count as a resume entry: extracurriculars, jobs, volunteer positions, research, organizations you were a part of (professional or casual), freelance work, long-term hobbies. i will refer to each different experience as an “entry”

for each entry, write where (city + state) and when (timespan) you did that thing 

ex. tritones a cappella group, los angeles, ca, august 20xx - present

going forward, update this list as you join or complete new jobs/hobbies/whatever so that you don’t have to wrack your brain a year down the road wondering how long you held down that job or leadership role

step 2:

describe each entry

use bullet points to list out all the things you did within that role. start with the big picture, then move on to the small stuff

big picture: the goal of the role/organization/research, overarching and long-term projects, what results you were trying to achieve + why

ex. “studied the neuroanatomy and synaptopathy of the inner ear to determine the role of glutamate receptors in hearing loss”

small stuff: literal day-to-day tasks, every software and hardware you worked with, any particularly successful moments

basically, walk through a typical day or week in this role and list out every single thing you have to do, even the grunt work.

ex. “used redcap to administer neuropsychological batteries and collect biological data”

ex. “designed and implemented a novel article format that yielded a 10% increase in audience retention”

if you still have access to the original job posting or a corporate description of responsibilities for your role, pull that up and see how much you can paraphrase from it

no duty is too stupid rn. did you google weather forecasts for your boss every week? write it down. you can make it fancy or choose to delete it later

step 3:

fancify this shit

rewrite your bullet points from step 2 with better jargon. tell your employers what you did in a concise yet assertive manner

it helps to break down each point into its most basic components, which you can then generalize or rephrase 

ex. “googled weather forecasts” might become “compiled weekly reports on changing data points to assess weather trends over time”

use action words. you can find resources all over the internet for this, but if you’re still struggling, shoot me an ask and i’ll link some of the resources i’ve used myself

caution: you don’t want to sound like you used a thesaurus on every word. make sure you aren’t obscuring the meaning of your bullet points. “googled weather forecasts” should not become “utilized online databases to assemble weekly communications on meteorological variations”

start thinking about how your responsibilities for each entry relate to a) what skills you want to showcase and b) what the employer wants from you. does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with online databases, or does the employer want you to demonstrate familiarity with weather forecasts? your bullet point for “googled the weather” will change depending on the answer to these questions

step 4: 

look at the big picture

you probably have a metric buttload of bullet points for each entry. now you need to cut that down to what’s relevant. think about which bullets are most impressive, noteworthy, and descriptive of each entry

aim for 3-5 bullet points. any less than that and you have to ask why you’re including that entry. any more than that and the employer’s eyes will glaze over

try to combine bullet points

ex. “identify content and write articles when necessary,” “maintain a pool of freelancers,” and “identify key graphics and maintain tagging structure when uploading articles” all involve the process of creating an article, so they can be combined into: “identify content, assign stories to freelancers, write articles when necessary, and upload with appropriate graphics and tags”

start thinking about tailoring your word choices and bullet points to what the employer is looking for

if you can, pull up the job posting or a sample resume for the job you’re applying to and compare your resume to it. are you using similar language? are you demonstrating similar skills?

jobhero.com is a lifesaver

finally, eliminate redundancy in your resume, both in every individual entry and in the resume as a whole. if a skill can be demonstrated by multiple entries, you only need to list it once

kill your darlings! it may sound harsh, but the things that seem super impressive to you probably won’t even be a blip on the employer’s radar. “but saying i made coffee runs shows i’m dependable and a team player!” the employer isn’t looking that deep, my dude. you can showcase your dependability in your cover letter or your interview

you should redo steps 3 and 4 several times, soliciting feedback from your parents, peers, career center, etc each time

step 5:

add the Other Stuff

education

typically, you should only include institutions for the highest level of education you’ve attended. (undergrad and grad school both count as college for this purpose)

there are exceptions to this, depending on how long you’ve spent at a higher level of education, whether your alma mater will earn you brownie points, whether you had genuinely impressive accomplishments earlier in your life, etc.

once you hit, like, 2 years in college, you should try to get rid of high school achievements and showcase college achievements instead

list the school name, city + state, degree type (BA/MA/etc) and expected graduation date (even if it’s in the future), your major(s) + minor(s), and any related coursework (ie preprofessional tracks, specific courses related to the job). you can list your gpa if you feel it’s relevant, but i caution against doing this once you’ve graduated

ex. (where // indicates a new line) harvard university, boston, ma, may 2020 // bachelor of arts in cognitive neuroscience // minor: english: focus in creative writing // related coursework: pre-medicine, computer science 101 and 102 // gpa: 3.9/4.0 (dean’s list, all semesters)

skills

a list of items without descriptions. you can do a bulleted list or you can list the entries in paragraph form, separated by commas or bold bullets

hard skills: hardware, software, languages (spoken and programming), digital and communication platforms, social media proficiencies, other technologies and devices

ex. microsoft office suite, java, wordpress, slack, familiarity with ap and chicago style

soft skills: general qualities, buzzwords, personality traits

ex. leadership, conflict resolution, time management

certifications and awards

can be one section or two depending on how many of each you have

list each one on a separate bullet point

for each, write the certification or award, the institution that granted it, and the month and/or year you received it if relevant

publications

tbh i just cite my publications in the following format instead of following a style guide

lastname, firstname. “article or chapter title.” book title, publisher (aka company or website). publication date.

if you’re the sole author, you don’t need to list the author’s name

interlude: stretch the truth a bit. don’t lie about having experience or skills you don’t, but if you can reasonably google how to do something, boom! you’re proficient in it. if you worked with two team members who never pulled their weight? you just became the sole project lead. were you a beta reader for anime fanfiction back in the day? you’re a freelance editor, baby!

step 6:

now you have to organize all the entries from step 4

separate your entries into relevant sections. what’s relevant might change based on what you’re applying for

i’ve had, at various points in my life, some subset of the following sections: work experience, volunteer experience, leadership experience, research experience, writing experience, other relevant experience

list sections in order of descending importance

write all entries in reverse chronological order: start with the most recent and work your way backwards

write all bullet points in order of descending importance. unfortunately, i don’t have any quick tips on determining what’s important, but it helps to look at the job posting and see what matters to the employer

i tend to list big picture goals, then personal accomplishments (leadership skills, projects), then daily tasks

step 7:

format this shit

you can find resume templates online or in your word processor. templates serve as a good starting point, but i recommend creating your own format so you can edit and customize it with ease. this will probably involve a lot of fiddling with indentations, paragraph spacing, and moving things around

don’t go smaller than 10pt font

mess around with line and paragraph spacing to get the right balance of white space. if you’re curious about what i use, shoot me an ask and i’ll share my weirdly specific settings

keep an eye out for bullet points with orphan words (ie lines containing only 1-3 words) and get rid of them to streamline your resume

margins can be anywhere between 0.5″ and 1″

consistency is key! make sure each entry has the same kind of spacing. don’t use hyphens in one entry and en dashes in another

in the header, write your name, email, phone number, and address

interlude: save this version of your resume as your master resume. this gives you an unedited list of everything you ever did that you can now pick and choose from when you apply to jobs. update this list every 3-6 months.

step 8:

customize your resume for the job application

unless you’ve been in the industry for several years, your job-specific resume should be no more than 1 page

if you have more than 1 page: compare the job listing and your resume side by side and ask which entries demonstrate your capabilities most effectively, which bullet points are the punchiest, and if there’s any extraneous info

match each job requirement to one bullet point on your resume. then match each bullet point on your resume to a requirement in the listing. get rid of any bullet points that don’t meet either of those criteria. if multiple bullet points match the same job requirement, get rid of the extra bullet points

if you have significantly less than 1 page: see if you can add more bullet points or reformat your resume to introduce some more white space. a 2-column set-up is great for this, with section headers on the left and bullets on the right. do you have any hobbies you’re forgetting about? any soft skills you could add?

emulate the language of the job posting; use the same action words, the same soft skills

coda

your resume should work in tandem with your cover letter, but that’s a topic for another post. maybe in another 6 months i’ll write a post on that, too

always save your resume as a pdf! you don’t want your employer to have access to your metadata

if you made it through this whole post... i’m so sorry lmao but also thanks for sticking with me

let me know if you found this helpful or if this method scored you a job!

[borderline-off-fangame]

Borderline’s 4th year anniversary

oh boy. it’s time my children. The game has been in development for 4 full years now. :’3 em tired. No art, i think i didn’t do art last year, oh well fdghfgh. been busy with real life and re-working on shit. yeaa, it’s gonna take a while aaaa... warning: birb rambles a lot here sorry!!

Let’s say that real life has been getting in the way, as I am close to wrapping up my studies and getting a graphic design certificate (also voluntary work at a print shop where I’m learning new things there dfhfgh), so progress has been slowed down than usual, sorry about that. Hopefully I will get back to proper development after I revise some stuff and write up new concepts.... yea you heard it right, Borderline is getting a re-write again.. Basically more criticism happened and we came to a conclusion to well.. re-work from scratch, and start working on new concepts for the characters. Will there be changes? Well, yes there will always be changes, major or minor, but pretty sure Borderline will take a different turn story-wise. Currently I have about.. well.

Not much concepts, but still working on them nonetheless, plus the art folder which is for graphic concepts of the game. So, to make this part short, Borderline will be going through a re-write, so the final product won’t be the same as the demo, you might even notice MAJOR changes to the story and the game play! Ye.. idk, I’m going in here super raw and rambly so again, sorry for that dfhfgh.

Anyways uh, what’s the progress over this year? 

Patch 2 exists, which was uploaded earlier this year, containing bug fixes and couple new shit in there, the whole 9 yards!! I even branched out and put Borderline in both gamejolt and itch.io for people to download in case they can’t use mediafire. Well, unexpected to say, as of writing this post, my game reached 2000+ downloads! How that happened, I don’t know, but it sure made me very happy!! :D I do thank you for taking the time to download my game and play it :’3333 I’ve met people whom I’ve inspired to make games of their own, and.. t’was an eventful year.. :’0c 

Sorry to keep things on such short notice, I’m unsure of what else I should say, I do thank you for being patient with me and my work as it takes time and effort to release content related to my game and shit, and thank you to the contributors who provided assets for my game.. uh.. what else? idk? I’m currently down with a cold, so I’m unsure of what else to say sorry ;; dfgh thanks so much for following this blog and keeping up with the progress despite it being super slow now, I just gfhfg. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

[uncloseted]

i don't know what i'm going to do with my life, i feel like my life is a car making it's way to a dead end. i've never been to school so i don't have any qualifications to be able to work a normal job and my family can't afford to help me get a high school diploma. my mum lost her job so my uncle is the only working member in our house, he's turning 50 in a two weeks and it scares me more than it scares him. he can't keep working forever and i can tell that he doesn't enjoy it. (1)

the older i get the more i realise that the likelihood of me achieving my dreams is incredibly low. i've looked up menial jobs but all of them require a year 9 certificate, i don't even have that. next year i'll be legally responsible for my own shit because i turn 18 in may which isn't far away and i'm freaking out because i know that if god-forbid anything happened to my uncle we'd end up homeless and that petrifies me beyond words. i know its a bit "woe is me" to think like that but i (2) can't help but worry. i sit at home all day doing absolutely nothing. i just read books and go on social media trying to escape from reality. i hate the fact that everytime i think of my future, my immediate reaction is fear. i need to find a job ASAP, i can tell that bills are tight atm and i want to help but i don't know how. i've seriously considered becoming a stripper but that idea was shut down as soon as i realised i'm uncoordinated and have a flat arse. (3)

i want to try my hand in writing but i'm not sure where to start. i have a lot of ideas but often struggle to put them into words so that puts writing in the category of a pipe-dream than a possible reality. where i live jobs like working the till in a supermarket, clothing shop assistants and even bar tending all require a high school degree at least. i don't know if it's worth it to go on site and ask for an interview. sorry for flooding your inbox but I just needed vent / some advice

No worries!  I’m happy to listen and help if I can.  It’s a really hard situation you’ve been put in, and it’s way more than any 17 year old should have to deal with.  But the good news is that there’s always a way to improve your situation, and your life really is in your control.  Without knowing where you are in the world, giving specific advice on what your options are is a little bit difficult, but I’m going to try my best.... if you’re in the US, your best bet for long term success is to take the GED.  It’s a high school equivalency exam and will basically let you have a high school diploma without having to go back to actual school, and that will open up more options to you.  Your local library may have GED classes, and there are also a ton of resources online to help you prepare for it. From there, you can do community college to get qualifications or to learn a trade. If you’re in the UK, your best option is probably to take night classes towards a vocation.  

In the meantime, there are jobs you can apply for that won’t require a high school diploma or GED. Some common ones that don’t require a degree (at least in the US) include home health aide, construction worker, food service, warehouse or stock associate, cleaner, receptionist/secretary, food delivery, and truck driving (although you will likely need an additional license for that).  In the US, Indeed has a section specifically for companies that are hiring positions that don’t require a high school diploma.  They have international sites as well, so I would imagine that those have the same sections.  I would also go to restaurants, stores, bars, groceries, etc. in your area and see if they’re willing to hire you.  A lot of companies will say that they have a policy about how much education they require, but in reality they need workers and are willing to take what they can get.

Another option is to work online.  Some possibilities in that realm include freelance writing, transcribing or translating, moderating, virtual assistant, market researcher/survey taker, telephone mystery shopper, telephone interviewer, telemarketer, data entry, call reviewers, website testing, and chat agent. It will probably take a bit of applying to lots of websites and seeing what works, but there are a lot of opportunities out there and they may be worth pursuing.  If you have a lot of time on your hands, there are tons of websites that will teach you tech-related skills like programming, graphic design, and UX/UI design.  Those fields have a ton of remote positions available, don’t really care about your education, and can be very lucrative if you’re good at it.  It may be worth working on developing those skills.

As far as writing goes, it’s really just practice.  If you’re interested in creative writing, a writing prompt challenge can be a good way to start.  Basically, you get a different prompt each day and have to write on that topic.  It’s a good way to get practice even if you’re creatively uninspired, and it doesn’t take a ton of time or resources.  If you’re interested in nonfiction and journalism, there are a lot of resources online that can teach you those skills- try here, here, here, and here for some resources.

I hope at least some of this is helpful to you.  Let me know if there’s anything more I can help you figure out.

[pickalilywrites]

Love love love your fics

I watched The Last 5 Years and that movie gets me so heated. This AU is kind of inspired by it. Hope you like it ^^ 💖💖💖 

The Angel Next Door

Rivetra. TL5Y AU. 

2099 words. 

If Petra had the chance to redo her life, she really doesn’t know what she’d do. She fucked up her current one so much, she doesn’t know if she’d do any better if given another shot. In fact, she’d probably screw it up even more. Or maybe she’d just become a hermit and not do anything at all, which is pretty much what she does anyway when she gets home from work if she’s not running around preparing to leave for her other part-time job. Jeez, how did someone manage to mess up so much in one lifetime?

“Hey,” her roommate calls from the kitchen. She’s making some new ungodly concoction that they’ll no doubt have to throw out in the end. Petra loves Hanji, but there are times when she wishes her roommate would stop experimenting with their leftovers and just order takeout. “Are you wallowing in self-pity again?”

“Yes,” Petra moans from the couch. It’s what she usually does when she does get free time, just lounge around the apartment gloomily and think about how much things have fallen apart. It could be worse, of course. She could be homeless or dead in a ditch. There are times when she thinks those alternatives are better though. “Hanji, just let me have my pity party in peace, will you?”

Hanji sighs and walks over to her. She sits at the edge of the couch, reaching out to pat Petra’s head. “Oh, Petra. My poor darling Petra. You shouldn’t waste your youth feeling sorry for yourself when you have your whole life ahead of you. It’s the weekend! You should be going to parties, getting laid, getting completely and utterly wasted!”

She turns head away, burying her face in a pillow. “I don’t have the time, energy, or money to do any of those things anymore. I don’t want to anyway. I like sitting here and hating myself, okay? It’s, like, my favorite thing to do.”

Used to hearing this kind of talk, Hanji can only sigh. She wrestles Petra’s pillow away from her and smacks her on the back with it. “I’m sick of you rotting away here when you’re not at work! Where is the old Petra I knew? The one who wanted to turn her life around? The one who came home with a smile even if it was a hard day at work? The one who would brighten this entire apartment with her beautiful singing voice?”

“Well, working as a waitress kind of crushes your soul after a while,” Petra says, rubbing the spot where Hanji had hit her.

That and also getting a divorce at the ripe age of twenty-five really changes you as a person. Not that she ever talks about that. Well, she used to when it first happened, but now it wears her out just thinking about it now. She doesn’t want to remember the guy she spent five years with, putting her dreams and passions on hold so she could be supportive of his, or think about the women he cheated on her with. She doesn’t want to think about the house he left her in that she couldn’t afford, the fact that he left her with absolutely no money because he closed their bank account, or the letter that he left her when she came back from a visit from her parent’s house to find the house empty and all his things gone. No, she doesn’t want to think about any of those things at all, and she’s grateful that Hanji never mentions any of it despite knowing that they’re what make her the way she is now.

“And anyway,” Petra says glumly, sitting up and frowning, “the neighbors hate my singing. Remember that noise complaint?”

Four years of college and all she got was a degree in musical theatre. They should have just given her a death certificate when she walked up the stage to get her diploma. That would pretty much be the same thing, right? And now she can’t even sing because it’s “disturbing the peace.” She should have gotten in a degree in something useful like software engineering or graphic design, something that wouldn’t doom her to a life of misery and minimum wage jobs.

“Is it that weird guy who moved in a few weeks ago?” Hanji asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Probably. I don’t know. I get the feeling he doesn’t like me though. He always has this frown on his face whenever he sees me, you know?” Petra says. “And we didn’t get any noise complaints until he came. Is my singing really that annoying?”

Hanji wraps Petra in a hug, squeezing her so tightly that Petra’s sure her bones will break. “Petra, my love! Your singing is the most heavenly thing I have ever heard in my life! He’s a fool to not realize your voice is a gift from the gods,” Hanji cries, giving Petra a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, okay,” Petra says, laughing.

“Hey, there’s your smile! I was beginning to think you had forgotten how to do that!” Hanji says. She pinches Petra’s cheeks affectionately, stretching out her face into an even bigger grin. “I’ve missed seeing this!”

Petra giggles, swatting her friend’s fingers away. “By the way, Hanji,” Petra says. She sniffs the air to make sure, but there is definitely something burning. “Did you leave the stove on?”

“Oh, shit,” Hanji curses before running to the kitchen to turn off the stove.

At least they didn’t have to use the fire extinguisher this time.

She doesn’t see him often or at least she tries not to. Usually, it’s just a glimpse of him as they both fumble with their keys to make it into their respective apartments. He always has a child in tow, although she’s still not sure if the girl is really his because she doesn’t see a ring on his finger and there doesn’t see a ring around his finger or even a mark of there ever being one. It could be that he’s a single parent, divorced just like her. She really shouldn’t be nosy about it though.

Except she can’t stop thinking about it when life thrusts them in the elevator together and she can’t really think about anything else except the two other people in the elevator – the man who lives next to her and the child that’s always with him.

The child looks at her with large inquisitive eyes. They’re very pretty eyes, Petra thinks, and nothing like the man’s. Her hair is a dark raven black just like his though, making her believe that they must be related in some way. The child can’t be very old. Probably six or seven. She has a solemn expression that makes her seem older than that though, but she still has baby fat in her cheeks.

“Do you need help?” the girl asks Petra.

Petra’s so surprised to have the girl speak to her that she nearly drops her bags, but she manages to force a smile on her face and reply, “Ah, it’s fine! I’m used to this and they’re not really that heavy. Please don’t worry about me.”

“It’s okay,” the girl assures her. She’s already reaching for a bag that dangles from Petra’s hand. It’s the one filled with the strange herbs that Hanji asked Petra to get earlier. They’ll end up throwing them out in the end, Petra knows, but she never has the heart to tell Hanji no. “I’m very strong.”

The dark-haired man touches the girl gently on the shoulder, pull her back. “Don’t talk to strangers,” he tells her. He doesn’t even look at Petra.

Petra’s cheeks flush, embarrassed to be called a stranger as if it’s her secret plan to kidnap the child from right under the man’s nose. She turns to give the young girl a small smile to tell her it’s okay, but the child is glaring at the man now.

“She’s not a stranger. She lives next door to us. You know her.” Breaking free from the man’s grip, the girl steps closer to Petra before yanking the bag of herbs away from her. “I’m Mikasa. This is my uncle Levi. He’s really my cousin, but he’s old so I call him my uncle so my friends don’t get confused.”

Petra looks up at the man – Levi – who is scowling at his cousin. She tries her hardest not to smile, thinking that his expression is so silly and childish. “Well, it’s nice to meet you two. I’m Petra.”

Levi eyes her warily and when the elevator doors open – a sharp ping! to indicate that they have arrived on their floor – she expects him to run off with Mikasa, but he holds the door open for her and gestures for her to leave first.

“Thanks,” Petra says, surprised. She takes a step out and the two follow behind her.

“You live next door to us,” Mikasa says again. When they arrive at their apartments, Levi unlocks the door immediately like he’s ready to escape, but Mikasa stands there leaning against the wall as she waits for Petra to unlock her door, something that’s difficult for her to do since her arms are filled with the bags of groceries. “You don’t sing anymore though. That was you, right? You were the one singing.”

“Er, yes, that was me,” Petra says. She prays she doesn’t drop the eggs as she rustles through her purse for her keys. Everything seems to get lost in her bag these days. She should really clean it up more.

Beside them, Levi taps his foot impatiently. He hisses a quiet “Mikasa,” but the girl doesn’t move from her spot. He probably doesn’t want the noise complaint to come up in the conversation. It seems that Mikasa doesn’t know about it.

“Why don’t you sing anymore?” Mikasa asks. Her head is tilted, curious.

“Well, I had a noise complaint,” Petra mumbles, sighing when she finally fishes her keys out of her purse. She chances a brief glance a Levi, but he doesn’t look like he feels guilty. He still just looks like he wants to get out of there.

“Noise complaint?” Mikasa asks, her pretty little face twisted in confusion. Her eyebrows are knitted together and she’s frowning. “But your singing is so beautiful. Levi and I liked listening to it.”

“Mikasa.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Petra says, jiggling her key in the door handle to open the door. It takes her a while to realize what Mikasa has just said. She looks at Levi and then again at Mikasa. “Did you say you both liked my singing?”

“Oh, yes,” Mikasa says, nodding. “Your voice is very ‘exquisite,’ as my friend would say. And Levi would tell me it was an angel singing next door. He likes it when you sing Disney songs the best, like that song Ariel sings in The Little Mermaid. I like Mulan better though.”

“Yeah, Mulan is a good movie,” Petra murmurs, staring now at Levi. She would wonder about who filed the noise complaint if it wasn’t him, but she’s too busy thinking that he looks rather funny when he’s flustered.

She had thought he could only ever looked disgruntled, but it turns out he can be embarrassed sometimes too. The tips of his ears are red, and his cheeks are flushing the same color. He looks just about ready to disappear into his apartment, but he has to get Mikasa first.

“You need to get in here now,” Levi growls at Mikasa. He takes the bag from her and holds it out to Petra who takes it with an amused expression. He hastily ushers the child into his apartment despite her protests that she didn’t get to say a proper goodbye. He’s about to shut the door behind him but leaves the door open a crack, popping his head out to mutter a quick “bye.”

She’d laugh if she weren’t afraid of embarrassing him even more. He might never show his face again. Instead, she smiles and says, “Hey, Levi.”

The door opens just a smidge wider and his face appears again. He still isn’t looking at her though. “What is it?”

“It was nice meeting you.”

There’s a beat of silence, but he finally replies. “Nice to meet you too.”

She giggles right after his door shuts. What a strange guy. But at least he’s not an ass who hates musicals. And he likes Disney too. Who would have thought? Hanji’s never going to believe it.  

[harinezumiko]

Period’s here, fuckin’ McCalled it. Doesn’t make the seasonal affective less of a shitshow, but it does make it easier to convince my dipshit brain that it has no right to an opinion while it’s trying to make me bleed out. 

Being a woman is nonsense wtf man I don’t even get the tits to go with it.

Also bitching below the cut. Inb4 Team PC or Team Linux. I already know.

Anyway while I’ve been team Apple since more than 10 years ago when I started college because Industry Standard, it looks like the next computer will either be a fucking tower so it HAS USB PORTS. OR ANY PORTS. HEY APPLE IT’S NOT HELPFUL TO YOUR USERBASE TO REMOVE EVERY. SINGLE. PORT. THAT IS STANDARD WITH ITEMS YOU SELL IN YOUR STORE?? or I’ll give in and have to get a PC or stick the inside of a Mac into a goddamn PC shell, because while I do enjoy the user interface and options a Mac has, and a PC doesn’t offer more than like... two services that I can’t just get from Apple anyway, if I have to buy external hardware to make my Mac preform basic functions that DIDN’T NEED REMOVED then just extra fucking parts I don’t need to carry around. Like. Fuck. I don’t need four places to plug the next generation of USB into. Why don’t I need that? Because NOBODY USES IT. ALL IT IS FOR IS CHARGING MY FUCKING MAC. 

Oh, and now for plugging in a fucking external hub. Because I now need an external hub to read SD cards, read external storage, plug in my phone, plug in an iPad, plug in an iPod, use my tablet, connect to a TV (okay fine shut up the HDMI port’s been gone for years that’s not the point), and of course connecting to a separate CD/DVD reader/writer. Which was already a dumb thing to remove, but at least that made sense because the aluminum casing on a Mac couldn’t handle it. I get it. You think it’s clunky. You took away the entire row of function keys for the Aesthetic, which was also stupid. Why was it stupid? Because it now takes more steps to do less things. I still need to constantly disable fucking Siri and I still need to push-button a dozen fucking different things to get to any individual functionality that I could’ve previously just USED. A SINGLE. KEY. Change brightness? Change volume? Better do all that shit with numerous clicks on a bar that GOD FORBID IF IT EVER CRACKS because it’s a fucking touchpad on top of my keyboard.

Let’s also make it totally not intuitive to turn the damn computer off and on. You mean to tell me that you can’t even put that in the How To Use Your Complicated Brick tutorial that I skipped anyway because I’ve used some variation of Mac since before you fucks made laptops? The fucking power button is hidden. It’s secret. Better not let anyone know how to TURN THE DAMN THING OFF AND ON. NO LET’S INSTEAD MAKE THEM ASK GODDAMN SIRI. WHO ALSO CANNOT BE TURNED OFF. 

(By the way it’s the fingerprint-sensitive button next to the touch bar. It blends in. It’s the exact same color as the bar. If there weren’t a seam I would’ve thought it was part of the same bar. Fucking ridiculous.)

Oh hey you know what’s stupid too? The dumbass bar lets you access things from the keyboard that you can access from your browser. Which okay that’s cool I guess, I could click manually with my hand on the search on my keyboard instead of using tab, but WHY WOULD I WANT THAT FUNCTIONALITY MORE THAN I WANT THE ABILITY TO CONTROL THE VOLUME ON MY DEVICE? RIDDLE ME THAT APPLE. RIDDLE. ME. THE. FUCK. THAT.

New OS update did not clear up the issue where the screen randomly flickers either. Thanks. Usually that’s a graphics card being loose or damaged issue, but no, this time it’s an issue where Apple put in hardware knowing their current software was buggy with it. Thanks for the functionality, Apple. 

But also, Apple, my guy, my friend, you’re supposed to be industry standard. Like, that’s why I got you. That’s how you foster brand loyalty. Do I need the stupid icing shit a Mac provides? No. Is a Mac just a teeny bit harder to yeet a virus onto than a PC? Yes. Yes, that’s a big part of why the graphic design industry married you. That and your creepy relationship with Adobe, who’s shot existing graphic designers--both commercial and freelance--in the goddamn ass by killing Flash. (Thanks, glad I skipped that certification, but wish I could’ve skipped the class!!) But hey, uh, Apple, what company--major or minor--benefits from not being able to access their backups? Like. That’s why we had external hard drives. That’s why we had flash drives. That’s why we burned old data on CDs. The fact that a CD couldn’t be (easily) modified at all, the fact that it had a verifiable way to check if the information had in fact been put on it when we wanted it to be, that was all useful shit for people in the design world. That’s still useful for people who deal with sensitive documents. I’m not putting a damn legal document in Cloud, because that’s stupid, and I’m not putting anything I signed an NDA with a client on Google Drive, either. It’s not that fucking complicated. 

Oh, but the clients, though, Apple. The clients who are the crux of the designers’ bread and butter--they don’t have any fucking use for USB-C yet. It’s been out since 2014 and it hasn’t stuck in the main market. I have customers who still don’t know how to set up a wireless printer, which is admittedly the modern equivalent of cutting yourself with a knife made of lemon rind, but please tell me how the fuck I’m supposed to explain to old wealthy people that they just spent a good sized car payment on a computer that doesn’t come with all the parts they think they need. Fuck, man, the higher ups in the big companies that do your fucking batch orders? The ones who still don’t know why sending a PDF is worthless if they want the text or images in it to get anything but immediately printed out? Why the fuck would they be like, ah, yes, let’s upgrade to $3k laptops for every station in the design department, and also get each an external hub to use... everything. 

I mean I guess if I’m working in the government, who doesn’t trust your company anyway, it’s great having a computer nobody can try to plug their phone into! Because I can’t get fired for that; that’s a potential breech of security. 

But I’m not working in the government, am I? I’m a designer. I’m trying to use a fucking tablet. The damn thing works; roommate confirmed it on her PC. But I can’t use it because now I have to wait for a stupid adaptor so I can plug the damn thing in and configure my computer. If I wanted my laptop to be permanently trapped in one place, I’d BUY A GODDAMN TOWER. IT’D BE A DESKTOP. BUT NO. NO NOW I HAVE TO CARRY MORE SHIT.

Tl;dr Apple you fucked up and I have so many bones to pick with your design and marketing departments that it’s insane. 

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (31/?)

AO3 link: HERE

How was Dazai able to do this day in and day out and maintain his sanity?

Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around my body and shuddered, as if it were a good twenty degrees colder inside the police station than it actually was.

I’d always hated lying, but something about lying to Natsuki earlier—specifically, doing it so that I could get information out of her—made my skin crawl.

I hugged my arms tighter about myself and shuddered again.

Oh, Dazai...

I stared at the empty seat the clerk had vacated in front of me and slowly unwrapped my arms a little.

As much as I didn’t like thinking about it, in doing what I thought Dazai would’ve done in that situation, I felt like I got to understand him a little better. For a moment, just a single moment in time, I felt like I knew why he did some of the things he did...

As I waited for the clerk to return with the papers I’d requested, I gazed silently at her empty seat, staring past it, almost through it as the rapid-fire tapping of fingers against keyboards intermittently filled the room.

I breathed a heavy sigh.

Did Dazai ever feel as bad as I had just now, when he was lying to people? Was this an accurate glimpse into the workings of his mind?

My eyes settled upon an old coffee stain on the worn gray fabric of the clerk’s ancient seat.

It took me a moment to become more aware of it, but I’d been smiling almost the whole time when I’d spoken to Natsuki earlier. Although it seemed like I’d made a small connection to her (just before we parted ways, she’d even suggested I come over to visit with Nomura sometime), it hadn’t been genuine.

It was strange, but back then, I’d felt so far away from her—so far away that it had hurt.

And not just her...

I’d felt so distant from the smile on my own face that for a moment, it felt like I was suddenly drowning. Like I would’ve died from the loneliness, had my feelings been magically transformed into water by the cruelest of magicians.

“Just go... huh?”

Dazai cocked his head to the side a little as he looked at me, his bangs falling just so about his eyes, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into an oddly wistful smile...

“Sure thing...”

“Dazai-san...”

Why had he looked at me like that in the hallway that day?

I felt my teeth sink into my lower lip.

And why do I suddenly feel like I’d left him there to drown...?

“Sorry for the wait!”

I jerked upright. There was a soft clicking of heels and the clerk sat back down with a smile. The sheaf of papers in her hand rustled loosely as she set them on the table.

“There weren’t that many items after all, but the incident you’re referring to happened almost a decade ago, before we upgraded our systems. I actually had to run back to storage for it.”

She laughed, the sound seeming oddly light in the emptiness of the room.

“I-It’s alright,” I said, bowing slightly in thanks. “I appreciate your going back for it. Sorry for troubling you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she replied, beaming. “All part of the job. Now then.”

She spread the papers on on the table before me.

“The first one is the death certificate, signed by the deceased’s doctor,” she said, pointing out the official seal on the page. “And the next few pages are the police report from the day the call was made.”

The smile on her face disappeared as I flipped through the pages.

“Unfortunately, I must apologize for one more thing. I actually could not complete your second request.”

I glanced at her over the reports. She sighed.

“You see, while there were files on the person named Masaoka Kei, there were no police documents associated with the name Matsuyama Shin other than the one here.”

She indicated the police report I was holding.

Her gaze grew somber.

“It’s just so sad, isn’t it? Stumbling upon the body of your best friend like that,” she murmured, looking away as I started flipping through the documents. “What a tragedy.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of the papers in my hand.

While the clerk had made it sound like there wasn’t that much to go through, she’d actually given me everything the department had at the moment and it was taking me a while to look through everything. As if reading my thoughts, the clerk checked her watch and tapped softly on the desk to get my attention.

“Do you want copies of these?” she asked, “So you can take your time looking through them and documenting them at the Agency?”

“That would be perfect, thanks!” I sighed, handing the papers back at once.

Grinning, she took them back and set off for the copier.

As the copier whirred to life in the corner, I found myself staring at the coffee stain on the clerk’s chair once again.

I needed to focus on learning the truth about Matsuyama Shin and his best friend Kei, but the more I tried to think about Kei, the more I found myself thinking about Dazai. And the more I found myself thinking about Dazai...

“You wish to do something for me?”

Dazai’s dark eyes gleamed at me in the moonlight. He smiled.

“Then come away with me...”

His voice was so soft, so tender... I could still hear him whispering in my ear...

“Come away with me, Kyou-chan...”

The copier stopped whirring.

“Here you go!”

A thick, tan envelope appeared in front of me and I took it with a polite nod.

“Thanks.”

As she waved me out of the police station, I found myself reaching back into my bag and thumbing through the reports. Now that I’d had a moment to process everything, I realized there was something bothering me about that last page I was looking at, something important...

Not wanting to risk scattering the pages somewhere in the street or breaching client confidentiality, I forced myself to wait until I was back at the Agency to pull the report back out.

The moment I saw it, I instantly understood why.

“That’s strange...”

I took the rest of the papers back out and placed them side by side on top of my desk. There was a coroner’s report but no autopsy. That in itself wasn’t unusual; autopsies were generally only requested in murder cases or instances where the cause of death was difficult to determine. What was interesting here was the name of the person who’d signed as Kei’s next-of-kin and waived away the right to an autopsy while the police were still on the scene.

And that person was...

“Matsuyama Shin...” I read aloud.

What the...?

Matsuyama Shin was Kei’s designated next-of-kin?

I stared at the faded red circle at the bottom of the page—the stamp that Matsuyama Shin had used to sign the document.

“That’s strange,” I mumbled, glancing from one scattered page to the next. “Why is Matsuyama listed and not any of Kei’s other relatives?”

Picking up a highlighter, I sat down to read.

According to the police report, the night of Kei’s death, they received a phone call from a very distraught Matsuyama. It was around ten in the evening and Matsuyama had just returned from a long day of research at the university library, only to find his best friend and roommate lying dead in their shared living room. The dispatcher who had taken the call reported Matsuyama sounded catatonic, almost as if he were in a state of extreme shock. And sure enough, when the officers arrived at the apartment complex, they found Matsuyama sitting in the hallway outside, with his jacket and shoes still on and his cell phone clutched tightly in his hand.

The officers entered the apartment, pronounced Kei dead at the scene (the coroner had put time of death at around eight, nearly two hours prior to Matsuyama’s call) and proceeded to document the case.

I put the report aside and picked up the photos.

I sucked in a breath.

“Shit...”

These are pretty graphic...

I swallowed uneasily and steeled myself before returning my attention to the first and tamest of the photographs lying on the table.

The first photo was taken in the living room. I could see two small couches, a television set and a coffee table in the middle of the picture. There were a couple of photographs displayed on either side of the television, all young, happy smiling faces and a cup of tea sitting on the coffee table. It would’ve looked like a picture of a typical college student’s apartment, if it wasn’t for the pool of blood on the floor and the dead body slumped on the smaller of the couches.

I took the first photo and moved it to my left.

The second photo also showed the living room. However, this one had been taken from a spot just in front of the television set, so that Kei’s body and the blood-splattered wall behind him were clearly in view. Unfortunately, I could also clearly make out the bullet hole in the center of the wall, as well as the bits of bone and brain that had sprayed out from the back of Kei’s head.

It looked a little like spaghetti sauce that had exploded in the microwave...

Bile rose in the back of my throat. Clapping one hand over my mouth, I decided to turn this photo over before moving it to my left.

The third photo was just a close-up of the bullet wound on Kei’s forehead. A single trail of dried blood had leaked down from the wound onto his nose.

I quickly turned this photo over and moved it to my left as well.

To my relief, this was the last photo of the set. Thankfully, it was far less gruesome than the ones that preceded it and showed only the small black handgun that Kei had killed himself with. Two of the man’s fingers were still loosely curled around the gun’s handle and I could see small splashes of blood across the muzzle and barrel. Apparently, Kei had held the gun directly to his forehead and fired a single shot, killing himself instantly. No fingerprints other than Kei’s were recovered from the weapon.

A short ballistics report was attached to the photo.

“That’s interesting...” I mumbled, scanning through it.

It seemed the bullet Kei had fired through his own head was embedded so deeply into the wall that ballistics wasn’t able to get it out without damaging it. And thanks to the amount of damage, they couldn’t verify a perfect fit of the bullet markings to the barrel of the black handgun. However, it was still close enough that ballistics concluded that they had a match.

I turned over the final photo and went to the conclusion page of the police report, where sure enough, the death of Matsuoka Kei had been ruled a deliberate suicide. And if all the evidence collected thus far wasn’t convincing enough, the police had recovered a suicide note from Kei’s computer.

I put down the conclusions page and glanced over the papers and photographs scattered across my desk.

“Where is it?” I asked aloud, turning the photos and papers over one by one.

If something as important as a suicide note had been included with the report, then the clerk would’ve copied it for me. If it wasn’t on my desk, then where could it be?

And as I looked around my workstation for the final page of the report, I finally saw the envelope, which had fallen into an open drawer on the right side of my desk. A single sheet of paper had remained stubbornly stuck to the inside of the envelope and was just poking out of the tanned paper packaging.

Heart pounding, I reached inside...

“A single gunshot to the head, huh?”

I jerked my hand back and turned to my left to see Dazai sticking out his bandaged forearm and reaching for the pile of photographs I’d set aside earlier. He picked one up and held it up to his face, nodding to himself a little as he studied the image.

“Simple, but effective. I can respect that.”

“Dazai-san!”

I snatched back the photo in his hand and shoved it into the open drawer. When I saw his bright brown eyes flicking towards the rest of the photos and documents scattered across the table, I stuck out my arm and swept the rest of them into the drawer as well. I slammed the drawer shut.

“Oh, Kusunoki-kun, really?” Dazai sighed.

He shot me a disdainful look.

“If you’re trying to keep me from looking at those photos because you don’t want me snooping on your case,” he said, “then I completely understand. However...”

He reached into his black vest (he wasn’t wearing his trench coat) and fished out the picture of Kei’s bloody forehead wound, holding it out to me, looking almost annoyed.

“If you’re worried that I’m going to see these and try to off myself the way he did,” Dazai said, waving the photo around in my face. “Then you clearly don’t know me half as well as you think you do. I mean...”

He made a face.

“His death may have been instantaneous but it sounds painful. Kusunoki-kun... have I never told you...?”

“Told me what?” I snapped.

I snatched back the photo before he could tuck it back into his vest.

“I like suicide,” Dazai said plainly, “but I don’t like pain or suffering.”

He clasped his hands together, his chocolate-brown eyes going all misty as he stared off into the distance at something I couldn’t see.

“My dream is to have a cheerful, pure and energetic suicide, free of any pain or suffering, whatsoever!” he sighed, making a face that was far too upbeat for the words coming out of his mouth. “And if I could leave this world for the next with a beautiful woman at my side—!”

“Okay, okay!” I exclaimed, rushing to cut him off before he could wax poetic about his gruesome goal. “I get it, already! What are you trying to say?!”

“The point I’m trying to make,” Dazai said, “is that if I thought it would be a good idea to shoot myself dead, I would’ve done it a long time ago.”

I froze.

“What?”

Dazai raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you don’t know, do you?” he murmured, rubbing his chin. “In that case, let me tell you something, Kusunoki-kun.”

He jerked his thumb back at the redheaded Tanizaki, who was cheerfully humming under his breath as he followed Kenji around the office and helped him water the plants.

“Tanizaki-kun back there? He’s carrying a gun.”

I blanched as Tanizaki, sensing my eyes on him, turned and gave me a quick little wave over his shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself to wave back.

“In fact, it’s hidden under his sweater right now,” Dazai said, seemingly oblivious to my distress. “Most of the detectives here at the Agency, including your beloved Kunikida-kun, carry weapons of some type. And that’s going to mean a lot of guns.”

He finished his little speech with a casual shrug.

“I mean, we are the Armed Detective Agency, what did you expect?”

“Uh...”

“So.”

With one quick flick of his wrist, Dazai reached behind him for Kunikida’s empty chair and pulled up a seat beside me.

“If I wanted to commit suicide as quickly as possible,” he said, “with absolutely no regard for any pain or suffering I might have to go through to achieve my goal...”

He propped his chin up on one half-bandaged hand and stared pointedly at me.

“Don’t you think I would’ve stolen somebody’s gun and shot myself a long time ago?”

I stiffened.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he had a point. A horribly morbid point, but a valid one, nonetheless.

“Dazai-san...”

He perked up a little at the sound of his name. As his dark brown eyes slowly found mine and settled upon my face, I found myself hesitating a little as I quietly stared back.

“Do you...”

I bit my lip.

“Do you really...?”

Suddenly, something buzzed to life in my coat and I jumped. I’d completely forgotten I’d left my phone in there. As I scrambled to dig through my pockets to find it, Dazai wheeled his chair a little closer to my desk, stretched out his bandaged arms and reached for my laptop. I took out my phone just in time and slapped his hands away.

“Hello?” I answered, turning away from Dazai’s pouting face.

“Kusunoki-san?”

Nomura’s voice was low, hushed. He sounded like he didn’t want to be overheard.

“Nomura-san?”

I moved my laptop a little further away from Dazai and tried to concentrate on the call.

“What’s going on?”

“Thank goodness you picked up,” Nomura sighed. “I don’t have much time to explain but I’m at the Professor’s house right now and Natsuki-san is here but the Professor is not. She’s actually on the phone with him right now and it sounds like he’s not going to be back for a while.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Uh... okay?”

“Yeah,” Nomura continued, “he said he was staying late at work but here’s the thing—he’s not. I know he’s not because I just saw him throwing a student out of his office earlier this morning and telling her he had to go home early today...”

He trailed off.

I wondered if he was looking around to make sure he wasn’t overheard. There was a sound like a faucet running and I realized he’d hidden himself away in a bathroom to make this call; he was probably using the noise of running water to cover the sound of his voice.

“I’m sorry for calling you out of nowhere,” he said, “but the thing is, when I went to his office earlier, I noticed he seemed... angry. I was just going in to return a book I borrowed but when I saw the way he treated that student, I figured I was better off dropping it off at his house later. I thought maybe I should talk to him when he was in a better mood. But... he’s not here.”

He trailed off again. I wondered if he was chewing his lip like I’d seen him doing in the client chair before.

“Kusunoki-san!” Nomura suddenly blurted out. “Can you follow Professor Matsuyama and find out where he’s going?”

My eyes widened.

“What?!”

Behind me, Dazai sat up. He suddenly looked intrigued and despite my efforts to wave him away, he wouldn’t move. Instead, he scooted his chair in closer.

“I’m asking you if you can find out where Professor Matsuyama is right now,” Nomura repeated, sounding more sure of himself this time. “I don’t know what he’s up to but I think it might have something to do with Kei-san.”

“What makes you think that?” I asked, surprised.

“It’s going to sound like a stretch,” Nomura admitted, “but when he was on the phone with Natsuki-san earlier, I overheard them talking—”

“Oh my God...”

I groaned and slapped a hand over my eyes.

“You were eavesdropping...?!”

“N-no, not really!” Nomura exclaimed, though now his voice was noticeably tinged with guilt. “Natsuki-san was prepping tea so she put the call on speaker. I—I just happened to be standing out in the hallway when they were talking.”

“Nomura-san...”

“I know what it sounds like!” Nomura said in a rush, “but please listen for a moment. When he was talking to Natsuki-san, she brought up Kei. Said she met an art student on campus today and that she was looking for models.”

This time, it was my turn to wince out of guilt.

I felt Dazai poke me in the ribs and I jerked away from him with a glare.

“Anyway, she said, ‘I hope it’s alright that I mentioned him,’ and the Professor just lost it. I’ve never heard him talking to anyone like that, much less Natsuki-san.”

I paused.

“I... I see...”

“So do you think you could follow him?” Nomura asked again, “I mean, I’d do it myself but—”

“No, you stay where you are,” I said quickly, opening up a map on my browser. “Do you have any idea where he is right now?”

“Not really,” Nomura admitted, “but I could hear leaves crunching over the phone and wind too, so I think maybe he’s just left campus?”

The tree-lined path...

I got to my feet.

“Got it. I’ll contact you later.”

I hung up and stuck the phone in my pocket. I was about to grab my bag and go when I realized, it didn’t really make sense to take a lot of things with me if I was going to follow someone. I stopped to stare at my desk.

“How... do you follow someone without getting caught?” I wondered aloud.

Next to me, someone coughed.

I turned to my left to see Dazai’s grin growing wide.

***

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I lowered the sunglasses and peered over the thin, rounded rims at the man I was following.

While I hadn’t needed Dazai’s help to figure out which bus station Professor Matsuyama was heading for (it turned out to be the same one I’d gotten off at when I arrived on campus this morning), he’d insisted I travel light and to take nothing except my phone, keys and wallet with me when I went out. He’d also told me to “stay a good distance away from your target, but not so far away that you lose him,” and to have a list of excuses ready in case I got caught.

And then, just as I was about to leave the office, Dazai took my hand and, grinning ecstatically, shoved a pair of round, dark sunglasses into my palm.

“To hide your identity and make you a little harder to spot,” he’d said sweetly.

But rather than making me harder to spot...

I tried not to squirm as yet another person stared me down as they passed me on the street.

The sunglasses were actually making me look more suspicious than ever!

The sun wasn’t even out!!

Cursing under my breath, I ripped the sunglasses off my face.

I should’ve known this was just another one of Dazai’s pranks!

Stuffing the sunglasses deep inside my coat, I took out my cell phone and pointed the camera in the direction the Professor was walking in.

A quick search through the history department’s online directory was all I needed to get a good idea of what the Professor looked like, and luckily, I’d arrived on campus just in time to see a man who looked like him getting on a bus. It was one of the slower lines that took its time heading for the harbor and I remembered it having several stops near the Minato Mirai area. As I watch the man queuing up behind a group of students, an old woman with a bag of beets stumbled into him, even stepping on his foot. But to my surprise, he turned to face her and moved back a little to allow her to cut in front of him. I raised an eyebrow as he offered to hold the bag for her with a smile.

This was the man Nomura suspected of murdering his friend...?

Contrary to what Nomura had said, this man was very calm and didn’t seem easily angered in the least.

I kept watching as the Professor helped the old woman onto the bus and disappeared from view, only remembering to take a photo at the last second as he ascended the stairs. Then, I carefully blended in with the stragglers in the crowd, thankful that I was roughly the same age as many of the students getting on, and got on the bus as well.

I’d tried not to spend too much time staring at the Professor as he sat there in the back, gazing absentmindedly out the window, but...

There was something about the way he carried himself, something familiar...

I reexamined the image I’d downloaded from the campus directory to make sure I was following the right man. The photo was slightly grainy, making it hard to see all the details but I was sure. Both the man in the back of the bus and the man pictured in the photo were the same height, had the same dark hair and eye color and, luckily, were wearing the exact same clothes. I glanced down at my phone and back up. Even the glasses were the same.

As I’d tried to figure out what was so familiar about Professor Matsuyama, he’d slowly reached up, pushed the button to request a stop and moved towards the exit at the back of the bus. Keeping my head down and apologizing softly to the people I pushed past, I also moved into position and then followed him off the bus...

And now, here I was, hiding behind the corner of a bakery with my camera raised and coat lapels up, trying to ignore the whispers and stares of passersby as I followed a forty-year-old history teacher through the middle of downtown Yokohama.

I snapped a picture of Professor Matsuyama heading into a nearby store and lowered my phone.

Wait a minute...

I glanced up at the store’s sign just as a bell chimed just inside the shop and the door swung shut behind Professor Matsuyama.

This was a flower shop...

I felt my heart sink as the Professor emerged a few moments later, with a small bouquet of flowers clutched tightly in his hands. He waved and bowed politely to someone inside the shop, who then came forward to see him out, waving back all the while as the Professor continued down the street.

It looked like he was a regular here...?

Oh no...

I snapped another photo and grimaced as I thought about the possibilities.

Was Nomura completely wrong about the kind of suspicious activity he thought the professor was involved in? Was Professor Matsuyama not responsible for a murder and actually just cheating on Natsuki? He seemed to be well-liked enough...

I groaned and tried to keep up as the Professor checked his watch and headed to a subway station entrance nearby, this one heading even deeper into the city.

This was NOT what I signed up for when I became a member of the Armed Detective Agency. And more importantly, did the Agency even TAKE cases like this??

But as I flitted from building to building, getting closer to the man I was following with each additional step, he shifted the bundle in his arms and I caught a glimpse of the flowers in his grasp.

I stopped short.

White chrysanthemums?

I took out my phone and took another picture, zooming in on the bouquet.

That’s a strange choice to bring to a mistress...

I watched as Professor Matsuyama walked past the subway station entrance and continued on towards a bus stop across the street. I flipped open my cell phone and looked up the route. This bus wasn’t heading to the suburbs at all. In fact, it was heading to the other side of the port...

I picked up the pace as the bus arrived and Professor Matsuyama got on. There weren’t as many people at this stop, so I had to carefully time my movements with one final sprint so that I made it onto the bus without attracting too much attention. At least I wasn’t wearing those stupid sunglasses anymore.

Trying to avoid any eye contact as I got on the bus, I picked a seat near the front, so I could see where we were going and kept an eye on the professor in the large rear-view mirror overhead. Once again, the professor had chosen a seat in the back and as he crossed his legs and took out a small book from inside his jacket, I realized this was going to be a rather long ride.

I sighed and took out my cell phone as well. Flipping through my apps, I picked out a simple game and started playing.

Almost forty minutes later, Professor Matsuyama reached up at last and pressed the button to request a stop. To my frustration, he was only one of two people who stood up to leave and I mentally kicked myself for not using my Ability on the bus driver earlier to figure out when he was going to get up.

Ducking my head and averting my eyes again, I quietly followed the professor off the bus. As I watched him continue down an empty street, I pulled out my phone and pretended to check on something as I let him move a short distance away. When I was sure I was far away enough to follow without arousing suspicion, I put my cell phone away and resumed my pursuit.

I continued to follow Professor Matsuyama as he walked past a series of shops and several rows of neatly spaced houses. Finally, he paused before a space that was significantly greener than any of the areas around it.

My eyes widened as I gazed up at the twin wrought-wire gates flanked on either side by an angel carved in white marble. Well-polished brass lettering gleamed above me in the arch way, indicating my final destination was not a person’s house...

No...

I peeked beyond the ivy and greenery and down the cobblestone aisles to see rows and rows of tombstones.

I’d followed Professor Matsuyama to a cemetery...