#this is the same restaurant her and miles went to for their first date do u see the symbolism. no they didnt just go here bc its the only

[sojutrait]

happy dorty forty eileen 🥳🥳🥳

[topguncortez]

I Still Love You - Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist || main masterlist

synopsis: Y/N goes out on her first date in. . . in a while. She struggles with her feelings as if it is time to start moving on, or if she wants to fight for things with Jake.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of cheating

Y/N didn’t know what she was doing. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she went on date. Things had changed a lot since she was active in the dating pool. Dates were no longer big events where you shaved every crevice of your body, went out and bought a new dress, spent hours doing your hair and make-up, where picked up at your house and greeted with flowers and taken to some fancy restaurant across town. No, dating now was going to a local bar for a drink or two with some guy you had matched with on some dating app. 

Y/N felt her hands shake as she looked over her shoulder as the bell above the door rang. She was extremely early to her drink date, a whole half hour early to be exact. But the nerves had gotten the better of her, and she didn’t want to show up late. Now she sat looking completely out of place in this swanky bar on the east side of San Diego. It was far enough away that she knew it would be safe from anyone she knew catching glimpse of her. 

It wasn’t that she felt guilty about being on date. . . well, she felt a little bit guilty. Jake hadn’t signed the divorce papers yet, but they were making way with setting up visitation days. Y/N was currently living in the house while Jake was staying in an on-base house. Y/N hadn’t even thought of getting out into the dating field, wanting to wait until the divorce was completely over, but Val had set her up with one of her co-workers and Y/N didn’t have the heart to say no. Who knows, maybe she was going to meet her second husband. 

A small huff left her lips at even the thought of marrying another man. Having another man raise her kids. Having another man in her bed. Jake had been the one for her, and he’d always be the one for her, even if he broke her heart. She could entertain the notion of getting drinks with someone, but it wasn’t going to go much farther than this. 

“Y/N?” A masculine voice called out to her. She lifted her head, “I’m Miles, it’s nice to meet you.” 

Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile, reaching her hand out to greet him, “Nice to meet you, Miles.” 

He was clad in a black dress pants and baby blue button up. The top buttons were undone, showing the faintest gold chain around his thick neck. He sat down on the barstool next to you, his scent of oranges and hospital drifting to you, making your nose scrunch. You hated oranges and the thick smell of hospital disinfectant. 

“Sorry I’m late, got held up at the hospital,” Miles said. 

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows looking at her watch. It was 7:01 and they agreed to meet at the bar at 7:00, “A minute late is hardly late.” 

“In my book. . . it is,” He smiled, flagging down the waiter to order himself a drink and some appitizers, “I don’t like showing up on time, it feels like I’m late.” 

“I’m the same way. I like to be atleast 10 minutes early to everything,” Y/N sighed, “But having kids, I’m lucky if I’m even 5 minutes early.” 

“Val told me about your children,” Miles said, taking a sip of the old fashioned he had ordered, “Three of them right?” 

Y/N nodded her head, reaching for her phone. Her favorite thing about being a mom is getting to show off pictures of her kids. She showed Miles pictures of Alex when he first got his glasses, Ella winning her first soccer game, when Eli rolled over for the first time. Miles smiled along with her the whole time, asking questions about her kids; what they liked to do, what their favorite colors are, what their favorite bed time stories are. 

“They look like they are some fun people,” Miles said, sipping his drink. 

Y/N wasn’t sure what it was that snapped in her, but she suddenly felt embarrassed. Was she talking too muc about her kids? Did this guy even want kids? It wasn’t just her he would be getting if they ever decided to go past this one date, it was her and three kids. Three kids that had cried when their father moved his things out the door. Three kids that had been fighting and acting out more since the divorce process had started. Three kids that were waiting for her to come home. 

“Hey?” Miles asked softly, putting his hand on her knee, “Did I lose ya?” 

Y/N blinked a couple of times, plastering a fake smile on her face, “No,” She shook her head, “It’s just I-” 

“Thinking about your kids?” Y/N nodded and Miles set his glass down on the bar, “Val told me this is your first time out since your divorce. . . It’s my first time out since my wife died and I. . .” Miles shook his head, “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong, meeting you here.” 

Y/N’s heart broke a bit in her chest, seeing his sad brown eyes look at her. Val had mentioned that he was previously married, but she never disclosed the details on what happened. She shifted on her barstool, placing her hand on top of Miles’ giving it a squeeze. 

“This doesn’t have to go very far tonight. . . If anything, I’m not ready to go very far tonight,” Y/N spoke honestly, “I’m still hurt and dealing with everything, but I could really use a friend?” 

Miles nodded his head, turning his hand in Y/N’s so their fingers were intertwined, he squeezed her hand back, “I can use a friend too.” 

The two of them stayed in the bar for only another hour, before going to find something to eat on the east side. Miles had picked out a local seafood place that he swore had the best fish tacos. The conversation flowed easily as they ate. They talked about everything under the sun; what he did for work at the hospital, Y/N’s plan to go back to work at the flower shop in a couple weeks, Miles’ most recent travel to Switzerland for a pediatric board conference, how Y/N finally got to visit the USS Midway museum. It truly did feel like Miles was the perfect friend for Y/N. He understood what it was like to lose someone you love, only difference was Jake wasn’t dead. 

“I should really get back,” Y/N sighed as they walked down the sidewalk to where she parked her car, “I gotta trade off with the kids’ dad, he works early in the morning.” 

“Don’t gotta explain anything to me,” Miles shrugged. He had been totally respectful when Y/N talked about everything with Jake. She didn’t go into full detail about it, mainly because the wounds were still so fresh. She still felt a pang in her heart when she walked through the front door and his boots weren’t there. 

“I think we should do this again, I really enjoyed getting to be with another adult,” Y/N smiled and Miles returned it. 

“I would love to,” Miles responded and opened Y/N’s car door, “Let me know when you get home, please.” Y/N nodded her head, “Good night, Y/N.” 

“Goodnight, Miles,” She whispered as she shut the door. 

The whole drive home it felt like Y/N was in a cloud. Her feelings were a bit conflicted on what she felt towards Miles. He was a good guy, with a nice smile. He had a sense of humor and had made her laugh several times throughout the night. Y/N could tell he had manners from the times he pulled out her chair and switched sides on the sidewalk so he was near the street. But all those little things were also things that Jake had done. Jake always sat so he was facing the door, or in the isle. Jake always opened the door and walked next to the street. Jake always knew how to make Y/N laugh. 

Y/N had just pulled into her driveway, Jake’s black truck parked in it’s normal spot when her phone dinged. 

‘Valeria Bates: how was it!? Did you kiss!? Did you do more than kiss!?’ 

Y/N’s face paled. Was she supposed to kiss him? They had agreed to just be friends, for now, but what was supposed to happen on the next date? Y/N hadn’t ever kissed another man besides Jake. And she sure as hell hadn’t slept with another man. Even though Miles was attractive, the thought of him touching her the way Jake had made her feel queasy. She didn’t respond to Val, tucking her phone in her purse and heading towards the front door. 

Quietly, she pushed the door open, coming face to face with Jake sitting alone on the couch, only the light of the television illuminating his face. When Y/N first asked Jake if he could watch the kids tonight, she hadn’t felt bad about it, but now, seeing him sitting there alone, she felt nothing but guilt. 

“How was it?” Jake asked. 

Y/N sighed as she took off her coat and hung it up, “It was good.” 

Jake nodded his head and stood up from the couch, “Will there be another one?” 

“Too soon to say,” Y/N mumbled and turned to face Jake, “How were the kids?” 

“They were fine. Eli was a bit fussy but he’s got some teeth coming in,” Jake stuffed his hands in his pockets and Y/N nodded. 

“Well, You should probably get-” 

“Don’t go on another date,” Jake said, cutting Y/N off, “Look, I know I fucked up. I know what I did is something that is unforgivable, and I beat myself up for it every day, but please. . . Please. . .” He walked towards her, and grabbed her hand in his, “Please.” 

Y/N wasn’t sure what to do, as he stood before her, his green eyes with a tint of red to them. 

“Goodnight, Jake,” Y/N muttered, squeezing his hand before moving towards the stairs to go check on the kids. 

“I love you,” Jake whispered as Y/N’s frame disappeared down the hallway.

taglist: @damrlova @phoenix1388 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @justenoughmadness @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592

[bomber-grl]

Gwen Stacy dating hc ❤︎₊ ⊹

Pairing(s): Gwen Stacy x Gn!reader (no gendered pronouns)a lil civilian reader- rest spider/vigilante reader

She’s the best girlfriend ever

If we skip over the angst, but I’ll get into that

She’s incredible and honestly, gives Ramona flowers vibesss

She’s so cool too and if you’re a normal citizen, then boy is it hard to keep the secret of being spider woman from you.

Especially after peter unfortunately died

This made her incredibly scared of what to do next

Should she tell you and risk it? Or should she keep it a secret, possibly destroy your trust and have you end up dying?

I can see her seriously having to fight between choosing her heart or brain and ultimately deciding to tell you.

When she ultimately ends up telling you she’s surprised by how understanding you are and is honestly really touched.

We all know how it ends up going, she goes to the spider society and basically is nowhere to be seen.

So it’s good to say the pain you feel and how lonely it can be without her there.

Of course she’ll go against the spider society’s wishes and try to visit you but ima be real, I don’t see it working out.

Regardless of it, she’ll always see you as her Mary Jane

If you end up meeting her the same time as Miles in the first movie then it’d be difficult getting in touch with her if you’re from another dimension, not a spider society member, or apart of the same dimension as miles.

If you end up getting acquainted again in the second movie she’s so happy to see you again, especially because she finally sees a familiar face.

Anyway, if you’re a spider person then you’ll more than likely meet her after her fight with her dad.

Then, she’s closed off and very obviously doesn’t “want to talk about it”.

(Which she’ll obviously be no matter how u met)

But eventually because of how history repeats itself with members in the spider society- Gwen ends up being able to see herself with you, and besides you.

The way you understand her like no one else does and how your reassurance soothes her more than that of others really ties it all together.

Not to mention how, despite being from different dimensions, you can be anywhere and she’ll still always want to be with you.

Let’s ignore the angst for a second and get into fluff a bit more.

The only reason y’all ever met was because of Hobie

He was your wingman from the start

You’d usually chill in his dimension so when Gwen came along you just went with it

Which ended up being amazing

Most times, not only in hobies but also other dimensions you two swing around, hiding behind the veil of your secret identities.

Most times you quickly go back to civilian form and enjoy restaurants or places that weren’t or didn’t exist yet in your dimensions.

You’d go out to eat and experience new things together.

Of course it’s always fun to go places and be in public-

But it gets incredibly intimate when the two of you are behind closed doors.

You were currently in hobies dimension and after a particularly rough night fighting both you and Gwen settled where she was currently crashing.

“Uhh if you’d like you can go ahead and change over there” was what Gwen said, motioning another room.

“K” and after changing into pjs you returned to her current room with her.

Once she gave you the cue to come in again you tip toed over her stray clothes and shoes and settled in bed next to her.

-A habit that formed due to both your constant nightmares.

The both of you didn’t even need to ask and both ended up cuddling, waking up to Hobie chuckling to himself when the two of y’all got up and realized how you slept.

(I might go into more detail of this scenario but let’s continue)

After that there was definitely tension and it broke after the two of you had enough and confessed.

Now onto background neutral head canons

Ms girl is always going to be there for you, regardless of whether you’re a civilian or not

She absolutely will not have you get hurt and worst, because of her

She’s very flirty too

Mostly when you’re swinging through the cities or just walking through the streets of the city

Her flirting is more teasing than anything

And honestly, it makes you blush the worst

Once you almost even walked into a pole and even fell because you forgot to shoot your web.

She learned from that- but not really

If you’ve got your own room in headquarters/ your dimension then she’ll definitely pop in whenever

Which you really don’t mind at all

Most times you guys just talk about whatever and cuddle on your bed.

She can be pretty cool too

She’ll often back you up even if the situation isn’t a physical one

Although, she tends to be closed off and not really communicate well when things happen.

In this case, things can be really difficult but it tends to work out in the end, especially because of her knowing she could lose you but also you most likely know how she feels.

Now, if the situation were to be the other way around

She’ll probably try and get it out of you, that’s her first response

However, she soon realizes how that’s not helping and opts for giving you space for you to think and breathe.

She could be pretty angst and moody as we all know but she ultimately decides your feelings are more important at the time

Honestly when you’re spending time in different dimensions and cities then she’s dragging you all over the place and showing you everything.

Or, if she hadn’t seen it before then you’re both experiencing these things together.

Of course we’re talking realistically here, so I think it’s best to include holidays into the mix

When it comes to holidays like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and your birthday, she loves to celebrate

Depending on if you like big parties or not then that’s how it’d go

Regardless of what you like it ends or starts (if you prefer a quieter birthday) with the two of you just lazily lounging around or if wanting to get some adrenaline then you’ll sneak into a dimension with the New York we know and just chill there.

When it comes to kisses I can imagine your first one being sudden and out of nowhere.

You’re both bashful which is a given but it becomes the norm.

Now, she’ll run up to you and kiss you on your cheek and even kiss you while you’re in your spider suites

Honestly, like all relationships there’s ups and downs but it doesn’t really matter, especially with Gwen as your girlfriend.

———————————————

Here ya go! @f3r4lfr0gg3r

[moonlightspencie]

what i wouldn’t do to forget

Part 1 of ‘a life where we work out’

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader/Dean Winchester x Past!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

—————————— -> DEAN’s POV <- —————————

My bed was usually a place of comfort. From the moment we moved in, it was my favorite part of having my own room at last.

Then, when she started taking up residence in that same bed almost every night from a year ago till now, it only became more special.

The sheets were covered in her scent. Even when she wasn’t there, I could lay down and know exactly what it’d feel like and smell like if she were. She was as much a part of me as my right leg was.

But, sometimes, you injure yourself.

Sometimes, you screw up and get hurt. And sometimes, instead of healing, the wound worsens. Slowly. Day-by-day you feel it getting more and more painful, and eventually, the limb needs to get severed.

So, I sat on my bed, knowing what it’d be like if she was right next to me. And it was torture.

————————— -> 24 HOURS AGO <- —————————

“Babe, you ready?” she called from outside of the door.

I glanced up, looking at the wood, imagining what she looked like on the other side. Probably wearing that old flannel of mine she loved so much. Definitely her favorite jeans.

“Yeah, just a minute,” I called back.

I finished lacing up my boots, sprayed a little of the cologne she bought me, and opened the door. She smiled at me immediately, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey, cutie,” she greeted softly.

I smirked. “Hi.”

She swallowed, walking alongside me until we got to the car.

Tuesday date night. Practically every single Tuesday for over a year straight we’d make sure we went on a date. There were very few exceptions to this rule, and even if we couldn’t go out, we’d still make sure we had time for each other.

It was all her brilliant idea, of course. She always made me feel wanted.

This Tuesday, though, was different. We both knew it. I saw it coming a mile away.

I’d been pulling away, and she definitely felt it. Hell, even Sam knew something was wrong. I knew how this night would end. She’d tell me she loves me. She’d kiss me, putting on a smile as if it wouldn’t be the last one we’d have. She’d manage to make it all feel okay somehow. We’d go to our rooms alone, and I’d wake up to news I wasn’t quite sure I could handle.

“Honey?” she asked softly, looking at me as I sat in the driver’s seat. “Are we getting out?”

I stared at her for a moment, then realized she wanted to go inside. The night wasn’t over yet. It had hardly started.

“Sorry, must’ve zoned out when I parked,” I said quickly, a shy smile on my face.

She smiled back softly, getting out of the car. We walked into the restaurant we loved so much, sitting at the same table we always sat at. She ordered the same thing she always ordered, and I got my usual. We shared the same stories, laughed at the same jokes, held hands over the table the same way.

It should’ve all felt the same, but it was like the first time reading about some new horror we had to take down. It was new and scary and I didn’t know what would come next. I only knew I couldn’t let it kill me.

I paid the check, taking her hand and holding her extra tight as we walked back to the car.

“I love you,” she said on the way home, still holding my hand.

We parked, lingering by the trunk. She smiled at me softly, stroking my cheek for a moment before she leaned in. She kissed me softly, just like every other sweet kiss she’d given me.

She pulled back when she felt my tears fall on her face.

“Baby,” she cooed softly, wiping a few tears away with her thumb.

I leaned into her hand, kissing the inside of her palm. When I looked back at her, tears were falling on her face now, too.

“I love you,” I managed to say, voice trembling.

I wanted to ask why, but I know she wouldn’t tell me the truth. She’d tell me it was her. She’d say she needed space. She’d do anything but make me feel like it was my fault, even though I knew it was.

She knew I loved her. I just didn’t love her enough anymore.

She left me there in the garage, a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow down. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but I knew I couldn’t stand it to walk past her room and hear her packing.

Eventually I got to my room. I laid down, surrounded by her smell and her presence everywhere. Her favorite mug was on my nightstand. Several pictures of us and of her were all around the room. Her perfume was on the pillows next to where I laid my head, not falling asleep until I stopped hearing her move her things out to the garage and my eyes couldn’t produce any more tears.

————————— -> PRESENT DAY <- —————————

I finally got up, not having moved since the night before. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday around the same time, and I couldn’t go any longer without trying to eat something. I was making myself sick enough without starving myself on top of it.

I stumbled into the kitchen, rummaging around for anything at all that didn’t immediately make me think of her. The problem is that everything made me think about her.

I settled on a bowl of cereal, not even bothering to sit down at the table. I was leaned over the counter, halfway done, when I heard someone come in. My heart jumped, hoping for what I knew wasn’t true.

“Hey,” Sam said, clearly spotting my swollen eyes.

“Hey,” I responded with a hoarse voice.

He walked in slowly, seemingly waiting for me to go off like I was a ticking time bomb.

“You okay?”

I opened my mouth, then stopped. There was no point in lying at this point. He knew.

“No.”

He nodded. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know, Sammy.”

He watched me for a few moments, then decided to do something neither one of us thought he’d do. He pulled me away from my cereal and hugged me. I felt my eyes welling up again, and didn’t even bother trying to stop the inevitable from happening.

“I miss her. It hasn’t even been a day, but I miss her so much.”

“I know, man,” he said, sniffling himself. “I’m gonna miss her, too.”

I nodded, not even realizing till now that he was losing her too, in a way.

No more hunting with us. No more living with us. No more bar trips. No more movie nights. No more long car rides together. No more pointless laughing in the library over too many beers.

We separated, both wiping at tears and pretending we didn’t see one another crying.

“We could…” he started, the sighed. “I know it’s not the same, but we could hang out tonight. Make a bunch of crap food and watch some stupid movie. Like when we were kids.”

I considered for a moment. I knew it’d probably be good for both of us, but I didn’t think I had it in me to be happy at all.

“I don’t know, Sam.”

“I’ll get you pie,” he offered. “And drinks.”

“Drinks wouldn’t be too bad,” I said, a humorless chuckle escaping.

“You do what you need to for the next hour, then we’ll meet in your Dean cave, alright?”

I nodded. “Okay. Thanks, man.”

He nodded along, patting me on the shoulder before heading out to get the snacks and drinks.

————————— -> READER’s POV <- —————————

I threw myself into hunting as much as possible when I left.

After being in the bunker for so long, I’d gotten used to having a place to call home. It was bizzare being endlessly on the road again, sleeping in crap motels, and being the only one to drive.

It was weird only ever being in my car.

I found myself chasing down every lead, no matter if it ended up being worthwhile. Giving up Dean meant giving up everything I’d grown accustomed to since joining the Winchesters. That was years ago.

My time with them ended much more differently than I ever expected it to.

I always thought the only way I’d separate from them is if they both died, or if I did. Even then, death didn’t exactly stick with those two often.

Now, I was back to where I was what feels like a lifetime ago. Everything had changed so much. Solo hunts were way more difficult than I remembered them being, for one.

I sat in the motel room, tears wetting my face. Less from the fact that I was forced to give myself stitches in my leg, and more the fact that I wished I could at least be home to do it. But, I had to accept that home didn’t exist for me anymore.

I left my physical home, and I left Dean. Home was pretty much out of the picture entirely now.

I sucked it up as much as I could, finished up the stitches, and bandaged myself up. I wasn’t about to let a werewolf scratch take down all the work I’d put in the past week to be independent again.

Partially because I needed to learn to depend solely on myself once more.

Partially because the issue of my non-independence over the past year or so was the culprit in all of this to begin with.

I never thought I crossed the line of complete codependency with Dean. But, when he started pulling away and pushing me away, I realized I should’ve learned to back off.

He needed space to be himself. He needed room to breathe. I wasn’t allowing him to get what he needed.

Forcing weekly date nights. Always sleeping in his bed without asking. Constantly getting him things that I liked for him, like that stupid cologne. Cluttering his space with all of my things.

I wouldn’t take a hint that I was the one who liked all of that.

And look where it got me. Alone and bleeding on a motel room bed.

I got a call, and grabbed my phone while trying hard not to jostle my leg.

“Hello?” I said after answering.

“Hey,” Sam breathed out, sounding almost relieved. “I’m sorry, I just— I was thinking about you. Wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“No, no. That’s okay. I’m— I’m fine. Hunting.”

He paused. “By yourself?”

“It’s not as bad as it seems,” I said, trying to laugh a little to calm his nerves. “Only got sliced up a little bit so far, and I took care of it.”

He said my name softly. Not quite reprimanding, but clearly nervous for me.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Can’t help it, though.”

I fell quiet for a moment.

“How’s—” I stopped myself before I could finish that thought. “How are you?”

“Good. We’re both all good here. Just miss you a lot.”

I swallowed, fighting tears that wanted desperately to spill out of my eyes.

“I miss you too.”

“Do you think you’ll ever come back?”

My stomach dropped at that, tears fully slipping out now. I closed my eyes tight, trying to keep my voice even.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You’re always welcome, you know? This is your home, too.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I, uh— I actually have to go now. But I’ll call you sometime, okay?”

“Oh. Okay, yeah.”

“I really do miss you.”

He sighed. “We miss you, too.”

We.

I ended the call after a short goodbye, laying back and letting the tears fall freely. They formed little pools of saltwater at my ears, and I didn’t have it in myself to stop it from happening. I finally fell asleep some time later, dreaming about green eyes and freckles.

—————————— -> DEAN’s POV <- —————————

Months went by, and not a single day passed that had gotten any easier.

Distractions came and went in the form of bottles and hunting, but neither of those ever lasted. I was never quite interested in the pretty waitresses that tried flirting any time we found ourselves at a restaurant in some little town. It felt like I’d fallen into some screwed up alternate universe. Everything was mostly the same, but something horribly wrong had happened and it left me feeling empty and confused.

I couldn’t stop it, and it only got worse as time went on. I knew what I had before it was gone, but her leaving made it so obvious that I couldn’t think of anything else.

Sam tried hard to make it bearable. He’d suggest going out, and when I didn’t want to, he’d do anything to get me out of my own head. I knew, though, that he at least still got to talk to her. I’d overheard him talking quietly on the phone when he thought I was asleep a few times, and a few times more when I’d walked past his room in the bunker. He told me she was safe to calm my nerves when I started thinking about her being on the road alone.

I knew I needed to give her space, but it still hurt knowing she was staying in touch with everyone else. I wanted to be the one to hear firsthand that she was okay.

But, she was better off without me. That’s what I had to remind myself of.

Every time I had a selfish thought, I needed to remember that she deserved a good life. I wasn’t giving that to her. I pushed her away when all she ever did was love me, all for the sake of self-sabotage. I say I didn’t love her enough, but I think my real problem is that I loved her too much.

I’d learned the hard way too many times that too much of anything ain’t a good thing.

I walked into the library, finding Sam already at a table with his laptop open.

“Hey,” he said, looking up from the screen. “I think I found a case.”

I raised my brows, walking to sit across from him.

“What’s the deal?”

“I think… it’s a djinn. Seems like it anyways. Three people have gone missing, and two turned up dead with their blood drained, but it wasn’t vamp-style.”

I sighed, thinking for a minute. I needed a new case. I had to get out of the bunker and stop sitting in my room all day and night. But I hated djinn, and they seemed to like to target me for some reason.

Sam stared, waiting for a response.

I nodded. “Alright, let’s head out.”

It was a long drive to Indiana, and by the time we reached the town everyone had gone missing in, I was ready to crash. We decided to get our sleep and start fresh in the morning by double-checking all the facts we got online.

We were certain by mid-day, and had an idea as to where the latest vic was being kept. It felt like a lucky streak, but I couldn’t help but wish that it had taken a little longer. Maybe if I found another case tonight I could convince Sam to head off right away.

We stopped off at a diner before we went to kill the son of a bitch, but I realized when we sat down that it was a huge mistake.

I looked up from my coffee, glancing around the joint as Sam talked about the plan for after lunch. Then, I saw her.

She was by herself at a little table back in the corner, giving the waitress that pretty smile of hers as she accepted a bowl of whatever she got to eat. Probably some kind of bulky salad since it was lunchtime. She’d get a cookie or a piece of pie afterwards, and leave a little smiley face on the check.

I didn’t realize I was still staring until she met my eyes, her face dropping immediately. I looked away fast, clearing my throat.

Sam stopped. “What? Did you see—”

He turned.

“Oh.”

I saw him wave out of the corner of my eye, though I couldn’t bring myself to look at her again. I stopped getting an option when I saw her stand and walk over slowly.

“Hi,” she said.

My chest tightened just hearing her voice again. I looked up, trying hard to look unaffected. It was hard when I’ve never wanted to hold her and never let go so much before. She glanced at me with a soft smile before returning to look at Sam as he asked her what she was up to.

“I’m tracking a djinn, actually,” she said slowly. “I guess you guys are probably here for the same reason, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam confirmed. “We actually were going to go after lunch, if you wanted to come with?”

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“We’re going anyways, you might as well come with,” I said quickly before I could stop myself.

She looked at me with those wide, beautiful eyes, wetting her lips a moment. It was everything in me not the track the movement.

“Okay,” she nodded, not taking her eyes off of me.

“Okay,” I repeated, my voice nearly failing me.

She took a deep breath, finally looking away from me.

“I’ll go finish my food and then…”

“Do you want to eat with us?” Sam rushed out.

“Sam…”

“Please.”

I was looking down at my coffee again, but I knew she looked to me as a reason to stay away. I swallowed down that feeling as fast a I could.

He spoke up again. “Ours is going to be here in a minute, but we’ll eat fast.”

She sighed softly. “Alright. Let me get my stuff and let the waitress know.”

The second she was walking back to her table, I looked up at Sam. He looked back at me, still a little shaken at seeing her, too.

“I’m sorry. She’s just— She’s here.”

“I know, but did you have to make her sit with us?”

“She agreed.”

“She doesn’t want to be around me. It’s bad enough I told her to come with on the hunt.”

He sighed. “One day isn’t bad, you know? It’s been months. She seems okay.”

“I’m not,” I said, a whispered yell. “I can’t look at her hating me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“How do you know that?”

“She wouldn’t have agreed to come with. She wouldn’t have come over in the first place.”

I let out a breath, dropping the subject as she walked back. I knew she wouldn’t sit next to me, but it still felt like a hit to see her sliding in the booth next to Sam instead. She gave a polite smile, and thanked the waitress as she dropped off mine and Sam’s food a few seconds later.

“How’ve you been?” Sam asked her.

“Alright. Busy,” she said, taking a bite. She covered her mouth as she continued speaking, “Hunting non-stop pretty much.”

“With anyone, or are you still by yourself?”

“Myself.”

I looked up at her as I picked around my plate, suddenly losing my appetite.

“You’ve been hunting alone?”

She simply nodded.

“You could at least call Garth. Have someone with you,” I said, trying to keep emotion out of my voice.

“I’ve been managing just fine.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but stopped myself when I saw how Sam looked at me. It wasn’t my place anymore. I nodded slowly, eating a few fries to keep my mouth full.

I struggled through lunch, my head taken up completely by her. The exact opposite of why I wanted to be out hunting all the time now in the first place.

She did her hair the same. She still wore the same perfume.

I found out that second fact by walking past her to get to the bathroom. I all but knocked some poor guy over because of it.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as he regained his footing. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay,” he nodded, moving past me.

I made it to the bathroom, splashing my face with water. I knew I was shaken seeing her, but this feeling was getting worse by the second. I glanced in the mirror, suddenly feeling dizzy. I tried to move to sit on the ground, barely making it before my eyes shut.

The last thing I heard was the bathroom door opening, closing, and locking.

PART 2 ->

—————

dean winchester taglist:

@deanwithscissors @hyunjaebaby @simp4olderm3n @king-of-milf-lovers

[shinagawa-division]

Happy Birthday Tomi!

Mature Themes Ahead. Minors Do Not Interact.

— Shinagawa Division, August 14th, 2024 —

The sun had set over the city of Shinagawa, casting the restless city in darkness as the building lit up and shown as brightly as the stars in the night sky. On the residential outskirts of the city, in her bedroom of her mansion, Miho Kobayashi was currently finishing up getting ready to meet her darling husband to spend his birthday with by having a lovely date at the finest restaurant money can buy. Fitted in a tight, black dress with diamonds, Miho was putting on the finishing touches to her makeup when her phone pinged, signaling that she had gotten a message, causing her to put down her blush brush and went to pick up her phone which pinged again…and again and again and again, almost rapidly, catching the female CEO off guard.

“What the hell…” She muttered as she held the still pinging device in her hands, just who the hell was messaging her so much? Opening her message app, she saw that she was being spammed with the same link over and over by her friends, colleagues, and even random numbers, furthering confusing the raven haired woman even more, at first she thought that it was some prank or that maybe her phone got hacked again but then she got even more messages, each one telling her to click the link, that she had to see what was happening and the most confusing part, people were giving their condolences.

Having enough with the suspense, Miho clicked on a random contact and tapped on the link which immediately brought her to a video. It was that of a bedroom of what looked to be in some high end hotel, it looked to be empty until the door suddenly bursts open and in came two people that were locked in a very passionate embrace, their facing pretty much glued together as they were eagerly making out with each other. Miho’s mind went blank as her face scrunched up with disgust at the thought of being sent a porn video…until she looked closer at the couple, specifically the man of the two who looked scarily familiar to her…husband…

Miho’s heart froze and promptly dropped to her stomach as the couple pulled away and she could clearly see her husband, the person who vowed to be with her in sickness and in health, until death do them part, Tomi fucking Chōten push the woman who he had just been making out with to her knees, who only giggled and started to unbuckle his pants to pull out his length and give him a blowjob, the Socialite throwing his head back and groaning in pleasure. Miho’s knuckles were pure white with how hard she was gripping her phone, her mind going a million miles per minute as she tried to grasp the situation, surely this couldn’t be real right? It had to be some AI generated garbage, Tomi wouldn’t do this to her, he couldn’t, not after everything, not after she bared her heart and soul out to him, not after she told him everything about her past traumas, including with how her first engagement ended, there was no fucking way he would do this to her twice.

‘Damn this is so fucking hot, I love NTR’

‘I’ll pay 20 dollars if you fuck her face’

‘Hey! I know that guy! Isn’t he that rich motherfucker from Aoyama?’

‘God I wish that were me’

‘Oh shit, you’re right, wait, isn’t this guy married? Damn, I’d hate to be his wife right now’

Almost as if spitting in her face, a chat box appeared which was rapidly being filled with messages and donations, other people were watching this, they were watching her husband sleeping with another woman, the shame and embarrassment Miho was feeling was sickening, apparently the footage she was looking at happened to be live footage, which meant that this was happening in real time, Miho was just sitting here getting pretty for a man who currently had another woman’s mouth deepthroating his cock. The camera angle had switched, zooming in closer on the male’s face, there was no doubt about it, it was truly Tomi Chōten, his bleached blonde-white hair was disheveled and out of its usual ponytail due to the heavy make out session he and the woman had, those gray eyes that Miho once adored were hazy and cloudy with lust and would shut close solely from the pleasure he was getting from the woman that was lathering his cock with licks and kisses.

And most of all, the most telling feature that convinced Miho that this was indeed real, were his eyebrows. His goddamn eyebrows that were long, thin, and had the iconic loop that nothing and nobody could replace. Miho wasn’t aware of how weak her legs had gotten but she had collapsed on her knees on the floor as she just numbly stared at her phone in horror and disbelieving anger. The woman in the video, which Miho subconsciously note was a younger woman presumably in her early 20s, with orange hair and blue eyes, popped his cock out of her mouth after giving one last suck and stood up, grabbed Tomi’s hand as the camera angle changed again, closing in on the two of them and Miho watched with sickness as she guided him towards the bed.

The woman took off her heels and lifted her skirt up, tugging her panties down and tossing them to the side, looking back at Tomi with a lustful look, almost as if giving an invisible command to take her, Tomi scrambled to get on the bed, positioning himself behind the woman and Miho’s eyes, who were slowly gathering tears at this point, widened as she realized that they were not going to stop any time soon, they really were going all the way. Miho desperately wanted to do something, to scream, to cry, to get angry and trash her room but she couldn’t will herself to move an inch, too shocked and paralyzed by the utter betrayal of watching her second husband commit adultery.

The final nail was in the coffin the moment Tomi entered the other woman and immediately began thrusting, moans and cursing spilling out from the both of them as the bed creaked and rocked with their movements.

“Oh fuuuuuck~! Daddy, your cock’s so fucking biiiiig~!” The woman gave a moan so pornographic that it would’ve made the most degenerate person blush but all it did was stab another knife into Miho’s chest, the tears finally spilling out and pouring down her cheeks, messing up her make up and creating tear tracks. The worse part was that she could clearly see Tomi’s ring glittering in the light of the hotel room, fucker didn’t even bother taking it off.

“S-shit..so fucking tight..” He groaned and Miho wanted to vomit with how much he looked like he was genuinely enjoying having sex with another, much younger woman, her other hand that wasn’t gripping the phone had clenched into a fist so tightly, her nails had cut into her palm with blood starting to drip down, almost in tandem with her tears.

“A-ah…mmf, yeah? You like that, Daddy? I’m better than-fuck!-your skeleton of a wife, right? Bet a prudish-ooooh-bitch like her couldn’t get you this fucking hard-shit!” The woman moaned, throwing herself back in time of Tomi’s thrusts, said man still had that lust filled glossed over look as he continued to pound into her.

“Y-yes! God, yes! S-so much better than her!” He gritted out, pumping inside her faster as the woman made eye contact in the direction the camera was and gave an evil grin causing Miho’s heart to stop for the nth time this night alone.

The rest of it was a blur, Miho couldn’t even recall anything after that except waking up in her bed, still in her dress, her injured hand now bandaged and what remained of her phone was sitting in a plastic bag gon her bedside table, the device completely shattered into pieces. Miho blinked, eyes staring blankly at her ceiling before the events of last night came back to her, making her eyes twitch slightly before slowly sitting up to get ready for the day.

— Later, Aoyama Division, August 15th, 2024 —

In a luxurious hotel located in the city of Aoyama, Tomi Chōten groaned as he slowly woke up, a headache pounding in his head and his body completely sore as he tried to recall what the hell happened last night but to no avail, as if something was blocking his memory of last night. He looked around to find the place cleaned up aside from his clothes which were strewn everywhere across the floor and the bed he was laying in to be a mess. Looking down, he was shocked and horrified to find that he was naked and covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks as well as dried up cum which signified that something definitely happened last night and Tomi felt ice cold fear wash upon him at the realization of what he had done.

Scrambling to get out of the bed, the Socialite hurried to put his clothes on, not giving a damn about his dirty body and went to grab his phone that was lying on the bedside table, fully charged surprisingly but he didn’t care about that, he paused as he saw that he had a bunch of unread text messages and a whole lot of voicemails coming from acquaintances, colleagues, his parents (who sounded especially pissed off), Karada and Luis, and from one unknown number. Sitting back down on the bed in shock, Tomi hesitantly went through messages, most of them were trolls but a large majority were death threats and comments about how much of cheating piece of shit he was and how his wife deserved so much better than him, some even sending links to various news articles and the trending hashtags on PROFILE, which was having a field day dragging his name in the mud with various clips of his infidelity circling the internet.

BREAKING NEWS: AOYAMA SOCIALITE TOMI CHŌTEN SEX TAPE LEAKED

TOMI CHŌTEN, HUSBAND OF FAMOUS CEO, MIHO KOBAYASHI, CAUGHT CHEATING WITH AN UNKNOWN WOMAN.

WILL MIHO KOBAYASHI AND TOMI CHŌTEN GET A DIVORCE?

Then there were the voicemails…

From his parents…

“You filthy little ingrate! Do you know what you’ve just done?! Videos and picture of you fucking some whore are all over social media! Do you have no shame?! Or perhaps you do because you have brought it towards our family name and tarnished it! Your father and I expect you to be back at the mansion RIGHT NOW or so help me God, Tomi, you will regret it!”

“No words can express how utterly disgusted and disappointed I am in you, Tomi. I do not know what possessed you to do such a heinous thing, especially putting it on the internet for everyone to see your filth and degeneracy. Your mother and I are doing everything we can to do damage control but the truth is that you completely destroyed our family name. Come back to the mansion, there is much we need to discuss.”

From Karada and Luis…

“Tomi…dude…just…why? Didn’t you love Miho? She’s actually a really cool woman and you…really did that…I don’t know what to tell you, bro but…you messed up…you messed up big time.”

“I don’t say this a lot even though I should but you truly are a fucking idiot, Tomi. I expected this sort of stuff from Karada but you? Eh, well, I guess this isn’t too shocking now that I think about it but still, I guess all your vows from your wedding were just bullshit huh? Whatever, anyways, as you can guess, the public is having a field day tearing down your public image and reputation so…good luck, I guess.”

And finally from the unknown number, Tomi froze once more when he heard Miho’s voice, staring off cracked and watery at first, as if she had been crying but growing more and more angry and vitriolic later on.

“I..l don’t know what to say…bra-fucking-vo I guess, truly a stunning performance, y’know I think you should take after your brother and go into acting because this was nothing short of amazing, you truly are dedicated to the act…more dedicated than to me…I guess that’s where you slipped up.”

“Everyone told me that this was a bad idea, that I was making a mistake, that out of all the people in this godforsaken country, choosing you to be my husband was only going to come back and bite me on the ass. I defended you, y’know, I told everyone that they were wrong and that I had faith in you, that perhaps you would change…I’ve never felt like such an idiot, I can already hear them, the never ending cycle of “I told you so”’s.”

“You knew…you knew about everything and what I’ve been through, I told you about how my last engagement ended, I put everything on the line for you, my heart, my soul, my dreams and you FUCKING RUINED THEM LIKE THE BASTARD YOU ARE! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME?! DID YOU ENJOY IT?! DID YOU ENJOY RIPPING MY HEART OUT AS YOU BANGED HER?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU FUCKING ROT IN HELL, I HOPE THAT BITCH GETS PREGNANT AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSTANT SHAME AND HUMILIATION AS I HAVE AND DON’T YOU DARE EVER COME NEAR ME EVER AGAIN OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU—“

“Greetings, Mr. Chōten. This is Goro Eguchi from the Kobayashi residence, please pardon me for the interruption but I have come with some very urgent news. My Lady has hereby banned any and all visitations from you or any of you associates on her property and has now declared that she wants a divorce, I’m sure you can understand why but the papers will be sent to your mansion tomorrow. Mr. Chōten, I strongly recommend that you sign those documents and go through the process with giving as little difficulty as possible as quickly as possible, failure to do so and My Lady will take legal action against you. Right, and another thing, My Lady has told me to tell you that you are allowed to keep your ring, she said and I quote “perhaps you can give it to that whore as a form of child support”. I believe that will be all, good day Mr. Chōten and goodbye.”

Tomi only sat numbly on the bed, there was only a ringing in his ears that seemed to grow louder and louder, he had only just noticed that the ring on his finger was actually missing this whole time and all of a sudden, his eyes grew damp with tears. Outside of the hotel room, a housekeeping maid jumped in fright and promptly scurried away from the door once she heard Tomi scream and start to destroy everything in the room.

— Earlier, Aoyama Division, August 14th, 2024 —

The gala was in full swing, people were mingling and enjoying themselves, all of them attending to celebrate the birth of one Tomi Chōten who was currently socializing and networking with various other businessmen. One of those businessmen happens to be Masuzō Shinomiya, the CEO of the most popular video game making company in all of Japan, Player One Studios as well as Japan’s most eligible bachelor. He’s quite the talk of the town, with women falling for his handsome looks and dark aesthetic while men were jealous of his looks and riches but couldn’t deny his wealth and fortune.

If you were to ask Tomi Chōten however, he completely despises the man, simply due to the fact that he is the older brother to bane of his existence, Sumire Shinomiya.

“Lovely party, as always, Chōten-san.” Masuzō took a sip of his champagne and Tomi only gave a polite smile in response, refraining from scoffing and retorting with an insult. “Thank you, Shinomiya-san.”

“However..” Masuzō drawled, downing his drink completely and turned to face the Socialite. “I’m a bit bored, you don’t suppose this place has a gambling den?” He asked and Tomi raised an eyebrow but nonetheless nodded. “It does, why do you ask?”

Masuzō smiled and Tomi felt a shiver down his spine from how similar it looked to Sumire’s, the family resemblance was borderline uncanny between those two. “Perfect, I don’t suppose you men fancy a few games, do you?”

Tomi should’ve said no, he wanted to say no but as he heard the other men around him agree, he couldn’t help but bite his tongue and smiled, nodding his head. “I don’t see why not, follow me gentleman, I’ll lead the way.”

It wasn’t long until they all entered the gambling den and were sat around a large blackjack table, the dealer, a cute young woman with orange hair and blue eyes, bowed and greeted them before shuffling the cards. As they were all preparing themselves for a night of gambling, Masuzō grabbed a waiter and whispered a few words to him, the waiter nodded and left dutifully before coming back with a variety of drinks on a platter, serving each man their drink before getting to Tomi who raised an eyebrow at the cup of liquor that was placed in front of him.

“I’ve never seen this kind of alcohol before, what is this.” He demanded the waiter however, Masuzō came to his rescue.

“Relax Chōten, this is my gift to you, I had that liquor imported from Barcelona, it’s unknown to some due to how exotic it is, only the very best of the upper echelon are able to afford that drink.” He explained as he took a sip of his whiskey, the other men could only murmur in awe at the nonchalant display of wealth, Tomi hated to admit that even he was impressed so all he did was huff and began to drink it, it was surprisingly pleasant, with a hint of a fruity aftertaste, he couldn’t help but drink some more and Masuzō could only smile mysteriously, knowing that his gift was very we’ll received.

The night continued, the games continued and the more sloshed the men became, all except Masuzō, who only watched with a blank face as Tomi got more and more handy with the dealer who did absolutely nothing to stop his advances, all she did was look back at Masuzō who only gave her a nod, making her nod back and gently pulled Tomi into a deep kiss, the Socialite jolting in surprise before eagerly kissing her back. The other men were too wasted to care, some even giving the two of them cat calls and cheers, the dealer pulled back to whisper something in Tomi’s ear before the two of them went to go exit the room. Masuzō waited for a minute, finishing his 15th shot of whiskey before leaving the room to go follow the two, only stopping when he saw the two of them enter the cab he had called in advance and drive off.

“Fucking finally.” He sighed in relief and went to fish his phone out of his pocket, seeing the familiar icon of his creator, he sent her a message.

Did my part. Your turn.

— Shinagawa Division, August 15th, 2024 —

Sumire Shinomiya walked down the hall leading to her aunt’s room, carefully holding a tray of food and painkillers. She had managed to convince Goro to let her serve Miho her lunch, the butler hesitated at first but after seeing how genuine she looked, decided to let her. Sumire balanced the tray with one hand and use the other to knock on the door. “Miho? Can I come in? I got your lunch…”

It was a few minutes before the door opened to reveal the CEO, her hair was frizzy and out of it’s usual bun, she was dressed in casual wear and her face looked messy from angrily wiping away tears and makeup. Sumire bit the inside of her cheek, a pang of heartache going through her as she looked at her aunt who only stared at her niece with a tired look before sighing and letting her in, it was completely dark inside save from the few strands of light that peaked through her curtains but Sumire managed to navigate it expertly and sat the tray on the dresser.

Turning around, she looked to see that Miho had gotten back to bed, facing away from her. Sumire bit her lip in thought before walking over to the massive bed and slowly sat down on a free spot that was close to her but far enough to provide some much needed space. “Miho…”

“Say it.”

“What?” Sumire blinked in confusion and Miho turned around and sat up to face her, a defeated and slightly angry look on her face. “Go ahead and say it, I know you’re dying to tell me you told me so, I bet your so fucking happy right now, what, do you want me to tell you that you’re right?! That you’ve been right all along and that I deserved this for not listening to you—“

“Miho stop!” Sumire cut her off, placing her hands on her shoulders, a frown on her face and her eyes expressing genuine sadness. “Look…I’m not happy about this, despite what you think, I’m not happy that bastard hurt you like this when he knew that you went through this before and honestly, I was so ready to go hunt him down and string him by his balls when Aiko stopped me…Miho, I’m sorry this happened to you, despite what I said and did at the wedding, I really wanted you to be happy.”

Miho sniffled as she reached up to wipe her tears, releasing a shuddering breath, she gestured for Sumire if she could get a hug with the Anarchist hesitating for a moment before slowly wrapping her arms around her aunt, a weird feeling in her chest but pushed it down when she heard Miho start to softly cry.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered, Miho only responding with more sobs and holding her tighter. The aunt and niece duo stayed like that for what felt like hours before Miho finally pulled away with one last sniff and wiped her eyes again. Sumire fiddled with the silk sheets under her and almost shyly asked, “Are you okay?”

“No.” Miho said bluntly making Sumire wince but Miho patted her head. “But I do feel a little lighter now, thank you.”

Sumire slowly nodded and turned her attention to the tray of food sitting on the dresser. “I think your food’s gone cold.”

“Let it, I’m not hungry anyways.” Miho laid back down and closed her eyes, Sumire only sat in the dark and silent as she watched her aunt drift off to sleep once more before carefully standing up and walking over to the dresser, opening the drawers to find something and sure enough, managed to snag her aunt’s wedding ring before closing the drawers and sneaking out of the room as to not disturb her.

Now back in the corridor, there was nothing stopping Sumire as she began to hum cheerfully, a wide grin spreading across her face as she almost danced her way down the stairs and towards the basement to her lab where the rest of her “siblings” were chilling and waiting for her.

“Family!” She called as she jumped the last step onto the floor, giggling gleefully. “Operation Break The Hegemony was a success!” She threw her arms up in celebration yet only receiving silence as Malphas, Aiko, and Seizou only looked at each other than back at their creator. Sumire huffed and scowled before dramatically clearing her throat and repeating herself, “I said…Operation Break The Hegemony was a SUCCESS!”

“Okay? So you ruined your aunt’s second marriage, do you want a fucking medal?” Malphas raised an eyebrow, clearly not giving a shit about the whole thing despite his part of the plan. Aiko only shifted from side to side uncomfortably as Seizou was much too busy on organizing his Yu-Gi-Oh cards to listen, Sumire rolled her eyes and sighed. “Y’know what, fine, whatever, thank you Mal-Mal for your assistance, you were a big help.”

Malphas shrugged and went back to scrolling on his phone. “You say that like you wouldn’t find some other way to break those two apart…but you’re welcome.”

“True but this way won’t involve me straight up murdering the guy.” Sumire walked over to one of her lab tables, setting Miho’s ring on the surface before looking back. “Which one of you has the other ring?”

Malphas sighed before getting up and walking over to his creator, pulling out Tomi’s ring and handing it to her. “Right, I’ve been informed to tell you that your friend got the money and that it was a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Lovely but I think it’s best if she laid low for the next couple of weeks, something tells me that shit is about to get messy.” Sumire chuckled as she went to grab a cylinder container from her weapons vault, walking back to the lab table, she opened the container to reveal acid nearly bubbling at the surface. With a smile on her face and humming a tune once more, Sumire grabbed a pair of tweezers and one by one, dipped the two rings in the small vat of acid, the pieces of jewelry hissing as they were dissolved and eaten alive by the acid. Sumire discarded the tweezers and closed up the container of acid, placing it back into the vault.

“And what’s done is done, finally, we’re fucking free of that bitch ass loser, haha!” Sumire squealed out a laugh before falling on the couch next to Malphas who only gave a lazy “yay” in response, Seizou only hummed and Aiko frowned, Sumire noticing immediately and looked at her little sister in concern. “What’s wrong, Ai?”

“I’m glad the operation was a success big sister but…I feel bad for Miss Miho…I looked at the footage of her in her room when the livestream was happening…she was in so much pain…” Aiko sorrowfully admitted, shyly fiddling with her gloves. Sumire and Malphas shared a soft look before Sumire sighed and moved to kneel down to her little sister.

“I get it, Aiko, I meant what I said to Miho, I really didn’t enjoy hurting her with what I did…but this was necessary, she won’t ever know what happened but she’ll be thankful that she never stayed in that marriage one day.” Sumire brought her into a hug, carefully rubbing her back, Aiko hugged back and rested her head on her shoulder. “I guess…but now Miss Miho is going to have to start over again, I’m afraid she’ll probably give up on finding love after this.”

Sumire only stayed silent for a minute before speaking up. “Seizou. What are the chances of Miho dating again?”

Seizou perked up at the sound of his name being called, automatically responding. “Seizou calculates that there is a 15% chance of Miho Kobayashi finding a significant other after today’s events, Seizou also calculates that the chance will decrease over approximately the next few months.”

Sumire sighed and Aiko winced, Seizou only continued to speak, ignoring his sisters’ reactions. “However, Seizou has seen support and public opinion of Miho Kobayashi grow exponentially since yesterday and has only continue to increase, Seizou hypothesizes that Miho Kobayashi will receive many suitors in the upcoming months.”

Sumire smiled and Aiko perked up. “See Aiko? There’s still hope for Miho, we just gotta give her time to heal, I’m sure she’ll bounce back from this in no time and when she does, we can work on finding her a proper, much better partner. How does that sound?”

Aiko beamed brightly, eyes shining in excitement at the thought of playing matchmaker. “Amazing, big sister!”

*Gives you the divorce papers* Happy Birthday Tomi!

Also shave your fucking eyebrows

@aoyama-division

[reidslovely]

In a Corner I Haunt (Right Where You Left Me)

Authors Note: This is really sad lmao. I’ve been wanting to write this for a long time and seeing the new set photos really just inspired me..angst to come. It is my birthday week so count this as a small gift from me to you!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem! Reader 

Warnings: Break up, lovers to strangers to whatever this is, my first big angst piece me thinks. 

As always please reblog and comment! ___________________________________

The back of the restaurant was her favorite place to sit. It was perfect for watching who came in and out of the bar. Watching those strangers who came in alone and left with someone they met at the bar for a night. Watching the families stumble in. Kids excited to leave the house for the night, the parents looking at one another with a certain kind of admiration after however many years. She watched awkward dates take place, she was here almost every night, same table, same glass of wine, same order.

She wondered if anyone ever watched her in return.

She wondered if anyone thought about her story, why she was here almost every night. Why she sat in the same place of the old brick building, looking out the window of the decades old building. But maybe to the outsiders she was just a ghost stuck in the loop of her most heartbreaking moment. The moment where she felt like she died.

Her excitement peaked as she closed the umbrella under the awning of the brick building. Peter was sitting at their usual table in the back corner of the restaurant dressed in a dark green dress shirt and black slacks. His hair was slightly disheveled, only becoming more messy as he nervously ran his hand through it turning his head to look out the window, (Y/N) smiled raising her hand waving excitedly. Finally her feet carried her into the building, over to the usual table.

“You look handsome.” She spoke leaning down to place a quick kiss on his lips. Peter returned the kiss quickly, being the first to pull away. She paid this no mind. Tonight was a big night, that’s why Peter was nervous.

No other reason.

Peter gave his awkward grimace up to her, which (Y/N) returned excitedly, the tension building in her stomach as she settled across from him. “There are my favorite lovebirds..the usual? Glass of our cheapest red, with an order of flatbread and gnocchi?” The waiter spoke excitedly, clapping his hands together.

“That’ll be perfect Andrew thank you.” Peter spoke swallowing hard, his hands shaking as he spoke. (Y/N) reached out to hold his hand, Peter let it linger for only seconds before dropping her hand patting the top of it. Andrew rushed off, leaving the two alone.

“How was your day?” (Y/N) asked, sipping her water, playing with the locket around her neck which held a photo of her and Peter on the inside.

“Busy. Worked in the lab all morning, had a presentation with Otto that took forever, then I…got the subway here.”

His account of his day was short. Nothing out of the ordinary for when Peter was nervous. He didn’t eat breakfast she had made this morning, rushing off forgetting the usual routine. Breakfast, a goodbye kiss, him forgetting his keys or something else important, before kissing her once more. But this morning everything had gone smoothly, but he left as soon as he got dressed.

She hoped maybe he just didn’t want to ruin any surprises.

She went on the account her day for him, it was short also her excitement making her speech a thousand miles a minute. Her body was on fire basically hoping that in a minute now he’d pull out a ring and ask her to marry him.

It never came. Instead they sat in silence, their wine coming out first Peter was downing it glass after glass. Throughout dinner he was quiet. No quips, no people watching and making up fake backstories for them.

Just silence.

Until after dinner, he reached across the table grabbing her hand. Turning it over in his, her palm facing up.

Now.  Now was the moment, Finally he was gonna do it. Quick and simple.

A cold metal dropped into her hand and she looked down to see the key she had given him to her apartment. She looked at Peter confused, furrowing her eyebrows at him.

“I think..I’m sorry. I’m breaking up with you. I, uh, I can’t do this. I love you but I do think it’s best.”

If she was on fire before, her body had broken out in chills, her hair standing on end. Suddenly she could hear every small sound in the restaurant, his voice amplified by ten.

“But I can’t do this. We aren’t right for each other, I’m not right for you. We just don’t fit together anymore..I’m always at the lab and you’re waiting for me at home. This is not how we should be spending our twenties.” He laughs. He’s laughing at her, everyone is laughing at her even if they don’t know it.

“Pete..” Her voice breaks as he stands up. Grabbing his coat biting the inside of her cheek, she reached out for him knocking the wine glass over it shattered on the floor.

“I said it’s over, (Y/N). It’s done. Don’t do this, don’t embarrass yourself begging for a man. You’re better than that.”

It felt like she just had venom spit in her face. Her jaw twitched as she gazed up at him with wet eyelashes, a choked breath left her mouth as she began to cry. Peter turned and walked away. Left her there in that restaurant, tears rolling down her face.

The sun on the window of the restaurant warmed her face as she sipped what was left in her glass. Her hair clipped off her face, though she was older now by several years she still saw that twenty-three year old girl in the reflection.

“Check?” Andrew asked to come to collect the empty dishes. 

“Oh uh yeah.” She smiles up at him. Andrew nodded at her walking off with her dishes, she slipped her arms through her sweater tucking a few stray pieces of hair away as she dug in her bag for her card.

As the bell of the restaurant rang she looked up out of reflex, her heart jumping into her throat as she looked at the ghost from the past in front of her. Coffee in hand, dressed nicely in a brown sportcoat and a blue button down, all nicely ironed and buttoned correctly. He had grown up. (Y/N) took a deep breath and smiled at him, lifting her hand to wave at him. Peter walked over slowly, swallowing harshly taking a seat across from her.

“I thought that was you. I was walking towards the school up the road and..I had to know.” 

Peter’s hand gestures anxiously in the air as he talks. Running a hand through his perfectly styled hair.

“It’s me.” She gives him a downward smile laced with a certain bittersweet message behind it.

“How..have you been?”

“I’m good, I'm writing for the Bugle. Jameson finally gave me my own office.”

“I know I read your pieces every morning when I have coffee. I meant..”

“I’m good Peter.”

It was a bittersweet lie. She sat here every Friday watching the people move on with their lives, new people come and go. Watching everything play out in the corner. Part of her hoping she’d blink and she’d be back in that moment that she could stop it before it happened. Peter Parker was the only man she had ever loved, and she’d accepted she’d probably never love again.

“I was scared.” He spoke after a few minutes of silence. “I was so scared. You were perfect, you had everything planned. You saw a side of me I never saw, and that terrified me. I was scared of ruining you. I was scared of…you leaving me. I was twenty six and I didn’t have anything planned out, and I was scared one morning you were gonna wake up and you were gonna see that.” He laughed, playing with his fingers, twisting a gold band that sat happily on his left hand. Her heart sank, but she kept her head above the water. “May gave me a ring to propose to with. And that’s what made me run. I am so sorry.”

“We were..so young Peter. I would have followed you to the end of the earth had you asked me. I never intended on leaving you.”

“You didn’t?”

(Y/N) shook her head, giving him a tight lipped smile. He let out a chesty laugh, wiping tears away from his eyes. She caught a glimpse of the ring once more.

“How long have you been…married?”

“Oh uh, god it’ll be 4 years in May.” He nods. “She’s a teacher. I have a daughter too..she’s three she’s at the school with her, I was on my way to pick up. It’s daddy daughter day.”

The water in her mind was getting deeper, she felt the waves pulling her further out. “Whats her name?”

“It’s Camilla.” He nods. “Camilla May Parker.” He laughs, pulling out his phone and pulling up his lock screen. The three captured a perfect family moment Peter with his daughter on his chest and wife on his arm.

That final wave came and pulled her under finally, she wiped away her falling tears. She tried her hardest to hold them back as she looked at him. He had grown into quite the man, he was graying now but only reaching his mid-thirties. He looked just how she pictured he would.

“She’s beautiful, she has your big puppy dog eyes.” She laughs, her body and voice shaking. Suddenly she stood, she needed to get out of this ocean of emotions.

sin “I uhh I have to go Peter. It was really nice seeing you again.” She said biting the inside of her cheek, grabbing her bag and shoving enough cash on the table to pay for the bill that never came. Peter’s hand reached out for her knocking the wine glass to the floor, she looked at him noting the irony in the situation.

“You have a beautiful life Peter..you need to cherish that. We were..basically kids. I will always love you, but I have accepted that you will never love me again. So please go pick up your daughter, and give your wife a kiss and hold her extra tight” She whispers to him as she pulls her hand away. Just like a ghost passing over she finally walked out of the restaurant. Her tears rolled freely down her cheeks and she laughed a bitter laugh at the irony of leaving him right where he left her.

_______________________

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[smolvenger]

How To Fake Date A Spy (Jonathan Pine x fem! Reader). Part 1

Summary: When you joined your sister, Jed, for a lovely summer in Spain, you wanted to enjoy yourself. Instead, you have to deal with numerous men of Roper's business having a gross interest in you for more than small talk. Going to Roper for help, he offers an idea- pretending to be the date of his newest friend. A handsome sous-chef known as Thomas Quince. Little do you know yet, the man's real name is Jonathan Pine and he is on a mission to take Roper down...

Word Count:5K

Chapter Warnings: Sexual harassment (not our boy, Pine). Discussions of suicidal intentions- if you or a loved one have thoughts, please please PLEASE reach out, call a hotline, tell someone you need help, and get help right away and this I hope is portrayed well and healthy and hopeful in this chapter. Some Fix-It-Fic-ness (Poor Elena deserved better. Hmmm, interesting of Le Carre to have the not-white female characters killed off to further the male characters' storylines. Guess what? We're fixing that crap. At least for Elena). Mentions of murder and domestic abuse. Reader being thirsty, but no actual smut.

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

A/N: You can decide if you’re a sister by adoption or by birth and I want to leave that open ended in the fic to make this an inclusive x reader fic. Shout out to @evelyn-kingsley for suggesting this idea in the first place! This fic wouldn't exist without you! :)

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

You screamed as the robber grabbed the boy and pulled out a gun to the child’s forehead.

“Nobody move! Nobody move!” the robber yelled.

There were more screams behind you and as people shot up, you heard plates clatter on the floor. Your heart was racing a mile a minute. It seemed all was well one minute- enjoying a seaside restaurant with your sister and some friends. Paid by the man she was in an arrangement with- Roper. Drinking wine and dancing and laughing. Little Danny playing games on his dad’s phone. A phone with worldwide secrets that also conveniently housed Candy Crush.  

 Then like a flip of a coin, a robber grabbed Danny and pulled him over to sit on a chair, moving the gun between pointing at the boy or your party. Danny’s sobs mirrored the screams you heard rabbits made. Sounds when the creatures thought they were going to die.

Roper-with an eerie calm-spoke to the robber. Offering the robber anything he wanted.

“Jewelry! Wallets!” the robber demanded.

With shaking hands, you took off the earrings. Your sister bought them for you on a shopping trip last week.  Being mistress to Roper, Jed could afford to spoil you with gifts however she wanted. You then removed your ring and your necklace. It was harder with the shaking, but you dropped them in. You saw Jed doing the same next to you, her jaw quivering. Then you took your wallet and all of you put your items in a bowl. Everyone did- an offering to an angry god demanding a sacrifice.

“That’s shit! Where’s the real money? Where’s the rest?” the robber asked, waving the gun at each of you.

Roper promised him 10 thousand dollars in fifteen minutes. As long as Danny was returned. The robber began to back away, still holding Danny.

“We’ll take the boy! Until we have the money! Everyone on the ground!” he threatened.

Jed offered herself in exchange. Out of gut instinct you pulled at her arm, tears in your eyes. Bringing her back.

The Robber pointed the gun at each of you and your body shot, seeing your imminent death in its Barrell. There was silence from all of you- the about-to-be-dead.

“On the ground or I’ll shoot!” he yelled.

All of you went to the ground.  You kept sobbing and so did Jed, your legs still quivering as you laid down. The robber ran off, carrying Danny. The boy’s screams could have cut you in two. You sat on the ground. The party crawled back up.

From out there, you heard yelling and a commotion. Then the screaming stopped. But there was no gunshot.

All of you ran down the steps to the stairway to enter the place. There was no robber- and Danny was safe. Danny scrambled back into his father’s arms, hugging him and crying. Even Jed leaned down to touch his arm. You had to cup your face, crying tears of relief this time. But your eyes wandered to someone else.

On the ground near him was a man in a chef’s suit, groaning in pain. His face so bloodied and hurt he was unrecognizable.

“What happened-what happened?” Jed asked.

“They ran off…he scared them…he saved me…” Danny explained.

The staff said the rescuer was a sous chef from England. Corky began examining the hero of the hour, still groaning from his broken nose and pain. Roper examined him, his blue eyes turning into a hawk gaze. Jed wrapped her long arms around Danny and let the boy cry his tears into her. You comforted him by running a hair through his head.

It was decided. They couldn’t let their hero bleed to death. He was coming with you.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

You hardly saw the sous chef after he moved in. Not that you had time to. You had another party of Roper’s he was hosting. And it meant dealing with your least favorite thing- men. Specifically- Roper’s men.

The party itself would be okay. You were glad you kept a small book in your clutch. Your phone batter was down to 10 percent and Danny was standing by his dad. But many of the men would gather around you. Or introduce themselves. Drunk on money and power, they believed they could do everything. Like having access to you when you didn’t like them.

One fucker-you didn’t remember his name and he didn’t deserve it-approached you as you began to sip your flute of champagne. Already you could smell how he reeked of cologne to where it stank. He leaned in closer than you liked.

“Hey there-Y/N, isn’t it? You’re looking nice today?”

“Thanks.” You said curtly.

He smirked.

“I just like what I see….would you like a drink?”

“I have one, no thanks,” you said.

His eye wandered to the book sticking out of your clutch.

“Ah-What are you reading?” he asked.

“A book,” you answered.

“Hmmm…what kind of book.”

“It’s a…a…a romance book,” you answered honestly. Maybe he would be disappointed in your interest of “fluff for women” and turn around.

 “A romance book. You like that stuff?” he asked.

Already there was that hint of putting down. Slight dislike. Condescension. You took it and ran. You gave him a frown.

“Yes, I do,” you said, going around.

Then at dinner, you could feel their eyes on you. One guy- Mr. Jacobson- was enjoying his time sitting next to you a little too much. He was tall and barrel chested with a dark beard and dark hair, manspreading on his seat. You squeezed your knees tight together so they wouldn’t brush his pants. But his leaning in gave you less space to flee.

“Well-everyone has a type for someone! A type they fall for!” Caro Langbourne began, just for casual conversation.

But Mr. Jacobson turned to you with a greedy smile. You could feel the eyes on you.

“Hmmm, means you got a type, Y/N? Like us big, hairy guys?!?”

You turned next to him.

“No.”

It was quiet and the conversation went on, but he kept talking to you. More than you wanted to. There was one guy. He was closer to your age. And he wasn’t bad looking at all, not to you. But as he turned to you during dessert, having innocent talk, just in a corner alone, he suddenly, out of nowhere, asked.

“So-When will you let me stuff it in your mouth?”

You nearly dropped the plate in shock. You blinked, processing that he said what he said.

“What did you say to me?” you asked in a hiss.

He put his hands in his pockets and repeated it.

“When will you let me stuff it in your mouth. You’ve had dessert, you can take it.”

You felt like you could get sick with disgust.

“Forget it. Don’t’ you say that to me- leave me alone!” You pushed off and walked away, heels clicking furiously from the party.

You found yourself, once alone, crying a little. You wiped it off in the bathroom, redoing your makeup with a frown on your face. Why did every gathering have to be like this? The stares. The smiles. The comments- it was too much.

You were so sick of them. All these guys hitting on you like they were entitled to you. You really were sick of it. In their bright smiles and uniforms but with such disgusting words spewing from their smiling mouths.

All this finery- nice dinners. Beautiful places. Numerous Shopping splurges with your sister. Trips to every country. Restaurants and clothes that would cost ordinary people a fortune. But the price- to be harassed daily by these dicks at every event and more. It was exhausting. Hell, the way Caro’s husband sometimes leered at you made you feel sick to your stomach. And the man brought his kids!

Besides, you didn’t even want to be in a relationship. How could you trust them-trust anyone? There were lots of hot guys out there who seemed perfectly nice. But they only seemed that way. Was it worth being abused- be it with a man beating you, or saying something cruel, or worse? Or being cheated on-giving all your heart and love to a guy only for him to find someone hotter, better, and to betray you because you were not good enough? Or the pain, the drama, the hurt of trust, the heartache? No, there was no one out there who was worth it. You didn’t want to fall in love, you didn’t want to get hurt. Even Jed and Roper were just a business arrangement. Despite the smiles and PDA, it was no different than Corky’s agreement. A loveless job.

You had to call it a night.

But as you were walking, you passed by a door. You remembered it-it was where the heroic sous-chef was staying in that room.  You hadn’t been in it. You hadn’t even seen him since then-only once as they were tending to him with bandages and towels over his bleeding face when he was helped in here.

You had to go in and visit. That was a better end to the night. This was Danny’s savior, after all. You had to let him know how grateful you were. You knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a bright, baritone voice. English accent. Proper. Refined. Elegant, even.  

You opened the door a little, and took a first step in.

“Hello the-“

Your voice stopped as did your steps. You almost did not recognize him. There wasn’t blood all over his face. Only a bruise over his eye and a bandage over his nose.

But even so, he was one of the handsomest men you had ever laid eyes on.

His eyes were blue, and his hair was an in between of dirty blonde and red. He had cheekbones that could cut glass and the shirt covered his broad chest, slim waist, and bulging biceps. You felt the wind knock out of you, the words hanging in the air, until you regained yourself. You took another step in and continued.

“Hello there-just me…”

He turned up.

“You weren’t interrupting anything.”

You began to grab your arm. He was so attractive you wanted to shy away-flee away like Snow White from the Prince. But you forced yourself there.

“I don’t think we’ve introduced each other since…since that night. I’m Y/N. Jed’s sister. I help look after Danny.”

He looked up, eyes meeting yours.

“I just wanted to…to…thank you. For what you did.”

He gave you a smile.

“You’re welcome. What’s your name?”

You gave him your name.

“Lovely. I’m Thomas-Thomas Quince.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No- I’m fine for now.”

“Let us know, okay Thomas?”

“I will, Y/N.”

You could have come at how he said your name, but you held yourself together.

“Okay, have a good night, Thomas.”

“You too, Y/N.”

 Then you closed the door. But you realized you were still smiling, feeling very warm and tingly. Without question, this was a better ending to the night.

There was going to be another of Roper’s male colleagues coming over to stay with you. But he didn’t have a history of saying gross things to you. Not even with his wife, Lucia, and kid traveling with him. Juan or “Apo” was joining you with his wife and their teenage daughter, Elena.

Their car arrived the next day. You were squinting from the Spanish sun. Roper smiled as all of you waited just outside the penthouse when the driver opened the door. Out popped Apo, Lucia, and Elena. The group was all smiles and handshakes and hugs with Roper.

That is, except Elena. Her eyes were big, and she wore a shining, diamond necklace over her Chanel dress, but she didn’t smile. She was slumped as she stood. When Roper hugged her in greeting, she froze, only patting his back stiffly out of politeness. She seemed to shrink within herself. Even when Danny went up and said hi, showing off his new book about ocean creatures, she only nodded in response.

Roper put his hands on his hips, keeping a toothy grin at her.

“Ah! Well-I bet you’re sick of annoying little boys already, Elena! But don’t worry-you’re a big girl now! And you can join the big girls-like Y/N, here!” he said, with a grand sweep towards you.

As housekeepers hauled their luggage inside, Elena turned to her dad.

“Papi…can I go walk, please? I’d like to explore the city,” she asked.

Apo turned to her, reeling off praise to her.

“Oh! My little girl! Already so adventurous! Here-don’t go alone. Have this…this…Y/N! Walk with my Elena, will you?” he offered.

“Oh, sure thing!” you replied.

Though you hadn’t really talked to her, it would be a nice change from staying by the house all day. And she looked like she could get out. Something was up and her father was oblivious to it.

Both of you walked about. It was the late afternoon melting into the early evening. You walked through tall buildings with laundry wires across the streets over your heads. They sloped down the hill as people walked about. Though the sun was still bright, there were more shadows across the town.

“How was traveling?” you asked.

“Okay… great even,” Elena answered.

Then there were the sounds of bells chiming the hour. You noticed a palm tree and a few restaurants.

“Are you hungry? There’s a stand for some street food. My treat.” you offered.

“I’m fine,” Elena replied.

She gestured to her necklace.

"Would you like to have this?" she asked. She dangled it in her hand, not caring if some bold pickpocket eyed it.

"Uh, no thanks-but thanks for offering!" you replied.

She turned skittishly around. Her head full of long, black hair moving with her. You paused.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

She turned to you and this time; she didn’t answer the question.

“There’s a cathedral here…I know it’s the next block over-can we go?” she asked.

“Sure thing!”

It then struck you that you were going about without guards. If she noticed a pickpocket or a stalker, you were the only one guarding her. But you walked over to where the bells chimed to enter the large cathedral.

Walking over with her, you turned and walked inside. It was infinitely cooler in the cathedral than outside. You were used to air conditioning, so the summer trips had been brutal here. You let out a sigh of releif. You did admire the elaborate paintings and design of the cathedral- its dome over your head, the numerous statuettes of saints, the golden crucifixes. And all in a building that was older than America! They definitely didn’t make most churches as pretty as this back home! Tourists wandered to snap pictures. Locals were in the pew, praying. Elena walked forward, her feet turning into stumbling. You saw she was shaking all over-as if her strength was sapping out of her. She gripped onto the pew, sitting down. Then she knelt and gripped her hands in prayer.

You went down and joined her.

“What is it, Elena?” you asked. You made sure to keep your voice low. The place made a lot of echoes from the high ceilings.

“Nothing.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Something is up. You’re upset. Your dad is blind to it. But he isn’t here- you can tell me. Anything.”

She looked around again. Checking each person around her. Then she turned to you.

“Is no one watching us?” she asked.

“No. No one is. Not even Corky and he creeps around everywhere. Just you and me. I don’t care how messed up it is- I won’t judge.”

She began to blink tears, and then leaned her head down, beginning to cry.

“Elena…did something happen?” you asked.

She began to blubber out.

“I’m…so grateful for cathedrals. They’re peaceful. They’re quiet. Anyone can have sanctuary there….”

She turned to you.

“Sanctuary? From what? Are you in danger? Is someone threatening you?” you prodded.

“I want...I want…I want the pain to stop…I’m a burden to everyone…I’m the reason people are dead…” she confessed.

“What do you mean?” you gasped. You immediately grabbed her hand. You had an idea and it chilled you, but you asked it.

“Are you…thinking of ending your own life?”

“Yes.”

A sick, horrible feeling swept through you. Chills, dread, terror. But you prodded further. No matter how uncomfortable, it was the right thing to keep talking to her.

“Do you have a plan how?”

“Hang myself. And I was going to do it on my birthday party. Snuck out the party to my room. They wouldn’t care- it’s like it’d be better without me. Too busy congratulating each other and being fancy. I would do it- Hang myself right there…”

“Elena….oh my god…oh god….” You muttered in shock, your hand never leaving hers.

“Elena…thank you for telling me. I know things always seem bleak- it’s hard to realize that there are options out there when you feel that way…”

“Options? I was born into this family! I didn’t choose it!”

She turned to you; her voice lower. So, no one could overhear.

 You know what my dad does? He defends Roper. We’re rich. Because of Roper…Roper and his…his-his-his…acts!”

“Acts?” you repeated.

You knew Roper was head of Ironclast. That the immense money didn’t come from nowhere. But you had to find out further. She turned to you, her eyes brimming, tears falling.

“Dad’s rich protecting him. So, Roper can’t ever be caught. Roper sells bombs. And you know what he does? Drops them on villages- his own personal bombs. He treats people like toys. Cities. Full of innocent people. And anyone who opposes him or his friends or tells them no? They die. That’s why I’m even here-innocent people who are dead!”

She let in a shaky breath.

“Do you know…do you know Freddie Hamid? Did he ever appear here at Roper’s party?” she asked.

“No, I don’t. He never showed up.”

“He’s a friend of Roper’s. He’d appear with Papi and at the parties…. Freddie beats up women. And he’s a murderer.”

“A murderer?!” you hissed quietly.

Elena nodded.

“He had -a mistress. Sophie. I met her every time she came over. She…was nice. She let me pet her dog. She’d talk to me like no one ever did- like I wasn’t a princess. Like I was a person. I wanted to…to…to be like her. And there’d be bruises. On her arms. On her face. She’d say she’d fall. But it was clear-I knew it was Freddie. I knew it! But no one would believe me.  And do you know what happened to her? Sophie was Found murdered in her hotel!”

You felt a horrified chill over your body as you spoke “And Freddie or Roper killed her?”

“At least sent their men to do the job. She must have stepped out of line. That’s what happens here-you step out of line. You’re dead. I was dead anyway…and you know what-she’s just one of many.”

You swallowed. Part of your stomach got sick. But you kept listening. You put your other hand on hers.

“I was dead anyway. I thought it’d be better…die rather than get killed. Then…I left the party and ran to a cathedral instead…”

You realized there were tears in your eyes too.

“I’m glad you did, I’m glad you did, Elena…I’m glad you’re here…talking to me…”

She released one hand of hers, touching her necklace.

“You see this shit necklace? I see it and just see more dead Sophie’s-dead people! Papi says it’s the most expensive necklace in the world! And it was paid for with blood money!”

She gripped it like she could rip the necklace to shreds. But she couldn’t-her nails dug into her skin. She looked at you right in the eyes.

“Roper…he is the worst man in the world…and you’ll see that…”

It all hit you-hit all at once. You knew she was telling the truth. There was no matter of denying it. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense.

“You’re right…he is…he’s got my sister in his clutches. She was desperate. She was broke. And she…she has a baby. Mom hates her. Roper gave her an opportunity. Now she’s chained to him. A man old enough to be our dad, too. She doesn’t have a choice to leave him now. I see how unhappy she is on the inside…he is the worst man in the world. “

You smoothed her hair so you could see her face.

“I’m concerned Elena…because I care about you. I’m going to support you- however I can…” you promised.

You took her and hugged her. She let herself cry-relieved. You cried too, for her. For your sister. For yourself. For everything. You held onto her, keeping on shaking. Waiting until she was ready and let go. She turned around, seeing the crowds.

“Could we…could we walk around?” Elena asked.

“Yes…we can stay here as long as you need. I don’t have anywhere else I need to be.”

“But dinner…”

“If you don’t want to eat with Roper, we can get our own dinner,” you said.

She walked about. Elena did go to the confession booth. It wasn’t therapy but it was something. Talking in a private space with someone sworn to secrecy. Elena did talk to plenty of other people. Just talk- nothing more. Not about her emotions. She spoke to an old woman, a priest lighting a candle, and a tourist lady with a pregnant belly. It was probably good to give her space and not overhear when she did. But you never kept her out of your eyesight.

When she finished talking, you got her hands as she sat in the pew again turned to her.

“Elena…when we’re done, I’m buying you a sangria, and tapas, and ice cream. And when we get home, you’re not staying by yourself-you’re with me now. I’m staying by you-“

Elena raised her eyebrows.

“And you don’t have to pretend. You can be with me. I’ll keep you safe. You’re not going to be alone-and you’re going to live.”

You grabbed her shoulders and her eyes became big.

“You’re going to live! And if you even think about doing it-tell me! And we’ll get out of there and do something! We’ll go swimming in the ocean naked! Stuff our faces at some restaurant! Stay at this cathedral! Get fucking plastered and sing karaoke!”

“I don’t…don’t want to live off of blood money…I don’t want to live as some spoiled pet from other’s deaths!”

“But you will live…they keep saying you’re a big girl…and you’re going to have a life without living off of Roper. I could…could…could help you escape.”

“Escape?” she gasped.

“That’s the most expensive necklace in the world. That alone could buy you rent for an apartment of your own. Long enough until you get a job. And you can stop living off money used to kill people! A life all on your own! And…have you thought of getting help? Professional help? I’ll seek it out.”

“No…didn’t consider getting a therapist…but you can’t tell my parents why…”

“I will tell them you need help-that you need a counselor. And you can tell me anything! I’ll sneak you out however I can!”

She blinked. And then, slowly, she smiled. A small, present smile. The first smile you saw on her face.

“It sounds…wonderful.”

You linked her arm in yours.

“Good…we’re friends now. Best friends. And I’m not going to let anyone get you anymore…if you think you’re rebelling, if you think you’re in danger-from Roper or Freddie or yourself…I’m going to help you.”

Indeed, the Sangria, tapas, and ice cream were delicious. You even got her to giggle a litte. Once it was dark, both of you returned back to the house.

“Could you room with me?” she asked.

“Oh, of course!”

“Y/N…Danny got rescued, didn’t he…who did it?”

“Oh- his name’s Thomas!”

“Where is he?” she asked curiously.

“Resting up from his injuries!” you answered.

“Can I meet him?”

“Yeah! Sure!”

You took her to the door to Thomas’s room.

“I got to warn you- he’s really hot, too. Took everything in me not to faint when I saw him!” you whispered.

She made a small smile. You opened the door and there was Thomas, reading a book with a finished tray of dinner on his bed.

“Hello- we have a new guest. This is Elena-Elena, meet Thomas.”

She went over and greeted him. She smiled. Though then she leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Part of you was shocked by this sudden intimacy- even boldness from this teenage girl to a grown man. Hopefully, there was nothing concerning! If the man was a pedo, you would gladly kick his ass. But there was no change in his expression.

She moved into your room.  Sleeping in the next bed. As she slept, you poured through her luggage. You got rid of all long things- scarves and whatnot-so no possible nooses. You made sure there were no guns or sharp objects or knives or dangerous medications. Though it made your stomach feel sick and shiver to think of how fragile life was. How so many random little things could end a life. It made you want to vomit and even cry- but you put them all in trash bags and threw them away.

The next two days were a simple pattern. You always stayed by Elena. She would walk out, go to the cathedral, and talk to people. A priest even gave her a blessing. She even ran into the pregnant lady again and they chatted. Then you would walk back. Now that Thomas was walking around, he was hard not to ogle. And you didn’t blame Elena for sometimes going up and talking to him! You made sure there was nothing dangerous- even if she had to go to the bathroom, you joined her. You never left Elena alone. Only if you knew someone would stay by her. You began to research counselors here to immediately get her help and signed her up for one. You told her parents she was troubled, and suicidal-they had the right to know. Just not the reason why. Once a counselor was picked, you both began to research apartments here. Once she was done with school-or even before- she would move out. A poor life made with money on her own was better than one living off of Roper’s corrupt wealth. Elena was always by you- and She didn’t mind having to be the third with Danny.

But you protected both. Yet…how could you protect yourself? There were going to be more events and parties and dinners. And Roper’s men would still leer at you.

You had to tell Roper. He was the Worst Man in the World. You knew that. But no one else could stop the harassment. Knowing Elena was safe with someone, you went up and found Roper. He was on a deck, talking to Andrew. They sat on a little table under a shaded umbrella with cold drinks. For the topic you were about to bring up, it was very pleasant. They turned to you, their low voices stopping.

“Roper- I have to talk to you. Now!” you said.

“Oh, goodie!” he replied dryly.

You stepped up to them, sitting on the extra free chair. You could feel the wind and hear the nearby ocean.

“Roper…I have this problem. Your friends, all the men keep hitting on me. Please….i just need…need some help. I need you to stop them. Really!”

After scratching his grey head, Roper put his hands in his pockets where he sat. He gave a half smile. But you noticed Thomas was still frowning, but something in his face softened.

“Well-the price paid for being a pretty lady here!” Roper laughed.

“I’m serious! It’s uncomfortable!” you prodded.

He put his hands in his pockets, but he kept smiling. He then looked at Thomas and back at you. Then his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Oh-you’re lucky. Have a look at Thomas. You see-he’s getting some business done. He’s about to have a very important job with me- joining my circle. Let’s say, a little thank-you gift. He’ll need to be seen at events-parties. Gatherings. The works. But they will think he’s no one…”

“What does that have to do with me?” you asked.

“He’s got to make an impression if he’s going to succeed.  I’m getting him a new suit. A new business card.  A new wallet….and a new woman.”

Your back straightened. Roper began grinning even bigger, like an evil Cheshire cat.

“Do you mean…mean…am I…am I…in an arrangement with Thomas? Like you and Jed?” you asked.

The shock was like an ice cube in your stomach. Even if Thomas was an attractive man, were you going to have to sleep with someone you barely knew?! In fact, this was a step above- a new man in Roper’s circle, only this time it wouldn’t be words, but actions.

“No! No arrangements! I’m not asking you to sign any marriage contract, sweetheart! Just be his date for a few events! Let them think you are his!” Roper said.

You looked over at Thomas again. His own eyes were big. His jaw was slack as if he was just as surprised as you were. And he still didn’t say a word. But he did lean forward.

“Y/N…I won’t force you to do anything…don’t be scared…” he assured you.

 But Roper went on as if congratulating himself.

“But I see. You…. tolerate each other.”

Thomas folded his arms and leaned back into his chair. You saw his adams apple lowering as he swallowed. You had no words but listened. He did keep glancing at you and you at him.

“Y/N, you’re sick of being some sort of…. forbidden fruit, shall we say? Well, when you want to keep the fruit from flies- you make sure it’s taken care of.”

He turned to the handsome rescuer.

“Thomas, you want to keep your business up and running and frankly, I don’t like to see you sit inside and brood all day. Doctor says you’re good to go about now.  So let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we?” Roper declared.

He then took his hands and placed your on each other. For a second, it did feel like a marriage ceremony.

“Be each other’s dates when we’re in public!

Thomas tightened his jaw and leaned forward in his chair. You nearly jumped up where you sat. Roper went on.

“Tell everyone you’re a couple, now. Go to a few parties and restaurants, hold arms, and smile at each other. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, sometimes! Don’t be scared- Thomas here is a knight in shining armor and he has the libido of a monk, from what I’ve gathered. You both win- Thomas, you will be a social butterfly with a contract and influence and Y/N will keep those nasty little men from drooling at her.”

You hated that he was right. It was a sad truth. Those men wouldn’t respect your word alone. But if you were taken, they’d respect your boyfriend instead. Even a fake one.

“I can tell you- you can make up a reason to break up any time you want!” Roper then finished with a playful, short wiggle of his eyebrows.

You wanted to crawl beneath a rock. Thomas kept calm, the light in his eyes did not deny his surprise.

“Well, what’ll it be? Thomas, I think there’s a bit more freedom for you to say no. But it’s Y/N here who’s a bit more anxious, shall we say. And Y/N could use the protection!”

You looked at each other. Thomas got out another hand and put it over yours in slight protection. They were warm and soft. Already at his touch you felt…safe, for lack of a better word.

“I…I…I don’t see any pros of saying no…” you began.

Roper clapped his hands together and then rubbed them in joy.

“Well, then! We’re going to have a little cocktail reception later today! All for Apo’s family coming in! Your work starts tonight- Only me on your little secret that it’s pretend-deal?”

You glanced at each other. Thomas gave a nod.

“If Y/N’s alright with it, I am.”

“Deal,” you agreed.

“Well then, time to leave the lovebirds alone!” Roper chirruped.

 He got up and turned out with a smile, leaving you alone with Thomas. You heard seagulls cawing and the shadows of the house shifted. Thomas leaned towards you but didn’t let your hands go yet.

“I’m sorry…so sorry, I’ll make it up to you. I bet you’re furious, right now,” he said.

“I’m…I’m actually not. At least not anymore. It doesn’t sound that bad,” you replied.

“But those men-they’ve been bothering you. Keeping you unsafe- haven’t they? I can do something. They don’t have to bother you anymore…” he offered. “It’s the least I can do.”

“And now with you, they won’t.”

He gave you a smile and your insides turned again.

“It’s not that bad. Just go to a few events. Hold arms. And smiles. I bet whatever you’ve done, that’s not the hardest thing you ever had to do,” you wondered.

Thomas looked back out to the sea and your gaze followed his. He let his hands go.

“No, it’s not.”

[elocinnicole]

Can you do a head cannon on Collin meeting Zan for the first time?

Collin was totally fine when he found out that Shauna had a child. She actually said it on their first date.

Shauna didn't bring up her child again for a while until she and Collin talked about seeing each other exclusively.

At first, Collin was excited to finally meet Zan. When he would pick her up for dates, Zan would already be asleep or at her mom's but Collin could see the toys that littered the living room and the Black Panther backpack that Shauna had a son and he wondered what he looked like. How does he act, would he like him?

He was completely fine until he woke up that morning.

AN overwhelming sense of nervousness floated around Collin the entire day.

Miles teased him of course, “I mean Zan and Sean are in the same martial arts class. Zan might beat yo ass. He gonna roundhouse kick you into next week.”

It was time to meet Shauna and Zan at the restaurant. Collin thought it would be better to meet rather than pick them up. Honestly, he was just scared as hell. There’s a reason his mom is Sean’s godparent and not him.

Collin walked into the restaurant and his eyes immediately caught Shauna he walked over to the table and smiled when he saw her.

Collin didn’t realize he was staring until Zan asked, “Are you the guy that Mommy talks to on the phone?”

Dinner is going surprisingly well. Zan talked most of the time telling Collin about his martial arts lessons.

When Shauna went to the bathroom, Zan told Collin that he had made his mom smile a lot. "Mommy hasn't smiled in a long time. When she talks about you with Aunite Ashley she smiles, then they tell me to go my room so they can keep talking."

Collin follows Shauna home, Zan's reasoning being so that next time Collin can come over to their house.

Zan excitedly shows Collin his dinosaur collection and explains each dinosaur.

“Mr. Collin do you want to play with me?” “Zan, Mr. Collin has to—” “Sure! Man I love dinosaurs!” Collin exclaimed sending a wink Shauna’s way.

Collin played with Zan for almost twenty minutes before Shauna made Zan go to bed. “Thanks for playing with him. You didn’t have to do that.” “You don’t have to thank me, I wanted to.”

Shauna thought she put Zan to bed when she was kissing Collin goodnight until they heard a giggle from behind them.

Tagging: @nikole-witha-k @blackpinup22 @iknowthekoolaidflavor @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs s @ramp-it-up @daveeds-wife @chattykathysquietsister @mellie-teh-goblin-queen @azxulaa @endless-romantic-stories @chrisevanswife0405 @gothic-slasherfan-weeb @pinkbonnetandglasses @cocobutterbaby @moxleys-fav @aonungmyaddiction @slashersluxsworld

[findtomorrow]

♕ ( muse p / 29 / cis woman / she, her, hers ) — did you see ZARA HART wandering around the island today? they kind of look like GRETA ONIEOGOU from certain angles? i heard around town that the ER NURSE is PLUCKY, and OPTIMISTIC, but also STUBBORN, and IMPULSIVE. people say that they remind them of PURPLE BAND-AIDS, THE SMELL OF MAPLE SYRUP, and UNTIED SHOELACES, and SPECIAL by SZA is definitely their theme song. they seem like a nice enough person, but we all know how hard it is to keep a pristine reputation in a small town. ( admin jay / 26 / cst / she, her, hers )

✧*･ﾟ𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚

zara hart was born and raised in kings haven, massachusetts. she spent her whole life in one little town with the same greasy diners on the same three streets, and she hated it. it was probably why she got into trouble so often: idle hands, as the saying goes.

also, you know, the unmedicated adhd didn’t help lmao. 

it didn’t help that her parents spent most of their lives in the family restaurant. at first, zara did her homework in the back booths, but after one too many vaulted straws and games of 'the restaurant floor is lava', she was banished to ride her bike outside–as long as she looked both ways, twice.

her parents did their best not to let zara in on their economic problems, but it was pretty obvious as she got older. in high school, she waited tables at the restaurant, and quickly realized after watching that her parents struggle that her dreams of running away to italy, meet some dashing stranger, and then drive away from the world together into to the fading sunset in his vintage roadster weren't going to happen.

instead of living out a lifetime fairytale, she went to school online and got her nursing degree, and now she's a nurse in the er at the same hospital she was born in. 

pretty much her entire identity is taking care of other people, and her signature move is getting over-involved in people's, especially her parents. she knows that her dad has struggled with his vices in the past, so she's personally going to ensure he doesn't fall into his old habits.

✧*･ﾟ𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕

overall, zara is sunshine personified ( including the searing heat from her fits of passionate rage when feels something is unjust ). she's the kind of person that believes in the best of everything (think jess from new girl, phoebe from friends, and leslie knope from parks and rec). however, she does have a quick temper, and is constantly working on being as zen as she wants people to think she is.

a goofball who enjoys pranks and shenanigans at all hours of the day. she’s lowkey an adrenal junkie; that’s why she specialized in er nursing instead. she loves the blood and gore lmao. 

she’s an avid runner. i know, gross, but she gets up at five in the morning everyday just so she can run a couple miles before work, or she'll get home and run after a graveyard shift. there's something sick in her head.

she’s a not-so-secret Hopeless romantic. her dream is to run into her soulmate on the beach at sunset, and they'll both be listening to taylor swift and somehow get their air pods mixed up.

but in reality she doesn't have time for romance after one too many failed relationships, and tbh no one can ever live up to her dream diary, so all her dates stay in her mind.

she will do anything for a friend, but she will let no man cross her–women and non-binary babes get a few more free passes.

✧*･ﾟ𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅

best friend: ( m, f, nb ), squad ( m, f, nb), childhood friends: ( m, f, nb ), roommates: ( m, f, nb ), exes: ( m, f, nb )

all the connections tbh. slide into my dms, or like this and i’ll hit you up !

[billscheft]

Last night, I applied, and was approved for, a new Hilton Honors American Express card. When I was on the phone with the Amex rep, she got excited all of a sudden and said, “Mr. Scheft, thank you so much for being a member since 1980! 42 years!” I then told her I still regret not getting approved when I originally applied in December 1979, six months out of college and six months gainfully employed at the Albany Times-Union at, are you sitting? $206 a week....

I remember my mom calling me in January and telling me, kind of giggling, “Your American Express card arrived.” I drove the 2 1/2 hours home to pick it up. It was going to come in handy the following month when I went back up to Lake Placid to cover the 1980 Winter Olympics. I had been covering the US Hockey team since the fall and had been to Lake Placid when they won the pre-Olympic tournament just before Christmas. I knew they were good enough to medal. Gold? Forget it. Well, we all knew how that turned out.... 

Sadly, I was taken off the assignment two weeks before the Games started, and the T-U sent the food critic instead. But that’s not why you’re here.

My first purchase with my new AMEX card was at a Chinese restaurant connected to a motel in Latham, New York, where Jim Greenidge, then the Sports Information Director at RPI, lived. Jim Greenidge was one of the nicest men I ever knew. He moved on become the SID at Harvard and then wrote sports for the Globe for ten years before dying way too young from diabetes. I remember thinking if Buzz Gray, the night editor at the T-U, ever kicked me out of his house (where I was paying, are you sitting? $100 a month rent), I would drive my Cutlass the 10 miles North to Latham and become Greenidge’s neighbor. Come on. A motel with Chinese food? Somebody call the MacArthur Genius Grant people.

I used my new card sparingly that first year because back then, you had to pay on time every month. But my friend Tom Aronson, two years ahead of me at Harvard, said “You have no idea how lucky you are. I make three times as much as you and I still can’t get one because me and (first wife) Amy have too much debt. People will never treat you the same.” He then hipped me to a little known perk of American Express. If you had a “green goddess” card, any hotel had to cash your personal check for up to $500. In the days long before ATMs covered the landscape like kudzu, being able to get cash on the road was not easy.

Sure enough, when I moved to Manhattan in December 1980 and had to wait months for my new Citibank checking account to open, I used my old Albany Savings Bank checks to grab an occasional $100 at a hotel. (Of course, within three weeks, I was making $50 cash every weekend out on Staten Island doing stand-up, so I was flush). 

I also used the old checks to pay my bill at the old American Express office, three blocks from where I live now on Park and 53rd. There was a very cute teller there, S. Jimenez, who worked at Window 3 and who I would let people on line behind me go ahead so I would be sure to get her window. On the third stop, I asked for her number. I took her to Fat Tuesdays and we saw some jazz, which was delusionally sophisticated of me for early 1981. Or even early 2023. On the subway there, S. Jimenez said, “I love working at American Express. I came from nothing. Everyone who walks into the office with that card is someone. You never know. The next person you wait on may be some guy who went to Harvard....” 

I turned bright red.

“Oh no!” said S. Jimenez. 

We made it through the evening, just long enough for my face to throttle back to an earth tone. I remember at one point, she asked me if the quartet we were seeing “was any good.” A humility I was utterly not familiar with. There was no second date, which is on me. If my self-esteem had been any worse, I might have canceled my card. But I did not. So, happy 43rd....

[benjaminsblog]

Up in the Ayr

In the week since I officially moved in, life has barely stopped and I haven’t had a chance to settle into my new home. I woke up the following morning and felt the unmistakeable first symptoms of a bug bearing down on me, and although a few aspirin (aspirins?) were enough to get me fighting fit for Monday’s epic tennis match, I have been struggling ever since.

Dad came down on Tuesday so see my place and deliver the remainder of my stuff, so I have at least managed to collect all my worldly possessions for sorting at a date TBC – I’m looking forward to feng-shui’ing the crap out of my flat once I feel up to it! For dinner, we went to a Brazilian restaurant in Hemel called Rodizio Villas – a belated birthday dinner for Dad that we’d rearranged a couple of times, but one that was worth the wait. The food was decent, but the highlight was when the waitress brought Dad’s coffee and momentarily tricked him into thinking it was decaf – I thought it was hilarious, and Dad grudgingly agreed once he got over the initial shock!

On Wednesday, I spent all day (and a bit of the night) in the office prepping for next week’s snooker tournament (our season opener), before driving back to Mum’s to collect her from the airport. Then on Thursday, Mum took me back to mine for a quick peek, and then to Luton airport so that I could board a plane to Scotland (alas, for work, not holibobs). All this activity meant that my immune system’s decision to take a vacation of its own has not come at an ideal time, but I’ve managed to soldier on, albeit rather weakly at times.

I spent the last few days in Ayr covering horse racing, which was generally unremarkable. That is how I would describe Ayr itself, except for the beautiful beach (yes, beach) that I got to see bathed in the warm (yes, warm) evening sun (yes, sun)! It was almost deserted and wonderfully peaceful, and it did the world of good for my mental + physical wellbeing – as a good ol’ coastline walk always does.

Once the final furlong had been run on Saturday, I set off once more – no rest for the sickly – as I had nearly 350 miles to cover by noon on Sunday in order to make call time at the snooker; the British Open is once again being held at Cheltenham Racecourse (the irony of which was not lost on me), which meant I had a further 6-7 hours of driving to do before reaching the relative safety of a snooker OB. On the bright side, I finally got to see some ‘proper Scotland’ for the first time in my life; the opening 1h30 of the drive was unbelievably gorgeous, and although I resisted the temptation to stop and stare at the stunning scenery, I did take a slight detour so I could tick Hadrian’s Wall off my UK bingo card.

I had already been on the road for a while before the thought entered my mind, and after some deliberation, I said ‘sod it’ and punched it into Google Maps. My only slight concern was that since HW isn’t confined to a single point on a map, my deviation might end up being a fruitless one and I’d rue the wasted hours I could’ve had in bed. However, I reasoned that it would likely be a long time before I was ever this close again, and if I couldn’t spot a 73-mile wall then I didn’t deserve to see it!

Having said that, it wasn’t as easy to identify as I’d thought; I had vague images in my head of a low-level, dilapidated stone wall, but my drive through the country roads was festooned with them, and it was clear that I hadn’t yet found the real McCoy. The point that I’d selected on Google Maps was by a small Roman fort (Birdoswald) with a visitors centre that had long since closed for the day, but after parking outside and walking a short way down the road, I found an information point that verified I was standing beside ol’ Hadrian himself.

Looking back down the road I’d just come from, I wondered if in fact I’d spent the last five minutes driving alongside him without realising (honestly, the walls all look the f’king same around there), but this confirmation was good enough for me. Normally I do my due diligence before such a trip to ensure maximum satisfaction, but this was the fleeting-est of flying visits, and the main aim had been to see Hadrian before I couldn’t see anything at all. If you ask me, I think this photo would suggest I timed my visit perfectly!

[typingtess]

Callen offered his place, Tom Olsen and about half his old team invited the Hannas to Christmas dinner but Sam made promises and had plans.

The Hannas left Los Angeles the day before Christmas Eve for San Francisco.  While Sam thought the three of them could stay on the boat before thinking about a hotel, Michelle’s sister Nicole got them a three-bedroom AirB-n-B not far from Nicole’s home.  Marilyn, Aiden and Kam’s grandmother, was staying with Nicole and her husband Joe.

The boat ride up took just over nine hours.  Kam joked about singing sea shanties, Aiden took notes about the tides so the trip would work as a school project.  The boat was moored at the pricy Pier 39.  Michelle would have been mortified by the cost but Sam planned on doing this right.  

Christmas Eve was spent at Nicole's.  Joe was Italian and the Feast of the Seven Fishes was fantastic.  Sam and Joe shared a scotch on the porch while Aiden called his girlfriend and Kam chatted easily with her aunt and grandmother.  Christmas Day, the party moved to the AirB-n-B.  Sam made steaks with mashed potatoes, garlic butter mushrooms and broccoli rabe.   Presents were exchanged, cheesecake was shared and a good time was had by all.

The same was not true of the 26th.  Sam took Aiden, Kam, Marilyn, Nicole and Joe five miles out into the Pacific.  The permit Sam obtained said three miles out but Michelle always went above and beyond.  Aiden spoke about everything his mother did to get him to do his homework, to eat properly, to be the man she knew he wanted to be.  He’d spend the rest of his life proving her right.  Kam remembered being afraid to go to school and how her mother told her that being brave wasn’t the opposite of being afraid, being brave was being afraid and moving forward anyway.  Being brave and moving forward was how Kam saw her future.  

Holding Joe’s hand, Nicole spoke eloquently about a younger sister who was a role model.  She promised Michelle that she would now be a role model to Aiden and Kam.  Marilyn said nothing but “goodbye my baby.”  

Sam also said three words – “I love you” – as he sprinkled Michelle’s ashes into the Pacific.

The family spent some time remembering the good times and planning for more in the future as Sam brought the boat back to pier.  They had a nice lunch at the Waterbar Restaurant.  Aiden and Kam spent the afternoon with their grandmother.

One last dinner with Nicole and Joe – Joe was a great cook – and the Hannas were off on the 27th traveling back to Los Angeles.  On the trip back, Sam told Aiden to catch a flight back to the New York and spend the New Year with his girlfriend.  Before the plans in San Francisco, Sam knew the two were planning to go to Times Square “like tourists” his Brooklyn-born girlfriend said.  Aiden should bring in the New Year with some fun.  Knowing Kam was invited by her childhood best friend Katherine to go skiing with her family for New Year, Sam insisted she go.  Again, starting the New Year off with some fun was all Sam wanted for Kam.

With the children gone, Sam took the boat out on New Year’s Eve.  Sitting five miles away from the coast of Los Angeles, he looked at the skies, the stars.  As the last few hours of the worst year of his life wound down, Sam thought about his first New Year’s Eve with Michelle, her being “14-months” pregnant two-years later, Aiden’s first New Year’s, Kam’s first, flying home from the Van Buren for Christmas and New Year’s.  Everything still hurt but the good memories with Michelle were beginning to fight past the pain.  His children needed him to revel in their mother’s memory, not wallow in his sadness.  

Sam Hanna was not a New Year’s resolutions fan.  If there was a problem, he made adjustments when needed, not at some specific date down the road.  But his promise for 2018 was simple – be the father his children needed him to be.  Michelle would have expected nothing less.

“Fine don’t come to dinner” #gcallen #samhanna #sallen #ncisla #ncislosangeles @chrisodonnell @llcoolj https://www.instagram.com/p/BtiC7rjBMiW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1iobdnoupts8t

[ririglow]

Love Drought | V.H

Vinnie Hacker x singer! reader 

synopsis: it's the day after Vinnie's fight and everyone he's ever cares about are celebrating his big win except one person he absolutely adores.

warnings: angst, language

part two

a/n: just a quick note I make my readers black, but if anyone wants their own request just hit the ask :)

•.¸¸.•*´¨`* •.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*

"Honey you still haven't ordered yet, are you okay?" Maria asked her son, concerned was written over her face as she looked over Vinnie's demeanor. He's been distant ever since they arrived at the celebratory dinner.

"Kind of losing my appetite mom." He muttered while taking a sip of water, as he looked at his phone for the millionth time that night. 

He looked over the last text you sent him, with rising rage.

"I'll be there soon, I'm just now finishing up at the studio. Love you" 

7:30pm

He looked at the time on his phone, which read 8:45pm. This wouldn't be the first time you'd been late or to not show up at all due to you being busy at the studio.

When he first met you eight months ago, your career was just taking off and your name had been all over America, because of the release of your first big single that immediately dominated the charts. He'd been there with you at every award show and performance standing by your side and rooting for you at every step of the way.

As months passed on more opportunities came to you, brand deals, more collaborations, and even a cameo in a movie. Which made you miss out on the dates Vinnie planned for you two. As much as he hates to be needy, he needs you more than ever right here, right now, celebrating his big accomplishment. It was almost like a punch in the face for him.

Minutes passed, and those minutes turned into another hour and still no y/n. Everyone at the table could see how visibly upset Vinnie had gotten over time. 

"Maybe she's just stuck in traffic?" Reggie tried to reason, nudging Vinnie a little.

"Yeah, maybe." He said scoffing sarcastically, looking down at the silver bracelet you had gotten him right after his win.

It had the words "champion" carved into it.

He remembered the confusion and surprise feeling he had on his face as you showed him.

"How the hell did you know I was gonna win?" He cheesed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder pulling you close.

"Because that's how much I believe in you." She smiled at him with adoring eyes, before pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Everyone around you both cooed at the sight, even taking out their phone to capture the beautiful moment.

You both pulled away, not wanting to have a full make-out session in front of Vinnie's friends and family.

"You got to admit though- Vinnies started to say, making you look up at him expectantly. "It would've been awkward if I had lost."

Vinnie faintly smiled at the recent memory, but the smile quickly went as it came. He looked up at the long dinner table seeing his family and friends laughing with each other, wanting to do the same with you.

Trying to remain positive he ended up grabbing another cup of champagne pouring it to the rim, he'd hoped that the alcohol would put a stop to him anticipating you come walking through the restaurant doors. Except of course , it only intensify the feeling of him wanting to grab his phone, and call you. In which he did, multiple times, you however didn't answer any of them. Now he was worried.

Meanwhile almost thirty mile away from where Vinnie was waiting you were still in the studio, trying to perfect a song you wrote specifically for him. With multiple crumbled papers on the ground and cups of energized drinks laying around you stood in front of the recording microphone finishing up the last lyric.

"alright y/n, that was good!" the recording producer said into the booth mic, making you sigh in relief. You wanted the song as perfect as possible. This time had been the longest time you'd been in the studio, you had till the end of the month to release your first album and the pressure was on everyone was was expecting you to shock the world. So much that it kept you away from your relationship, you vowed to yourself after this blows over you were going to give every bit of attention to Vinnie and make up for the long nights and days where he barley seen you due to your busy schedule.

"Hey, y/n your phone has been going off like crazy." Your manager mentioned as you exited the booth, ready to go home,

10 missed calls from "bebe🥰💕"

bebe🥰💕

hey bub, where are you?

8:01pm

bebe🥰💕

can you call me please?

8:10pm

maria😇

y/n vinnie, is getting pretty worried i know your probably busy but please give me or him a call.

8:55pm

Your eyes widened as you read the miss messages, you had completely forgot about the dinner ,and now you look like a complete asshole and a awful girlfriend. especially in the in eye of his mother which was the last thing you wanted.

Without saying another word you quickly left the studio leaving your manager standing there complete dumbfounded. As you enter the outside paparazzi swarmed you as you rushed towards your car, ignoring all questions. the only thing that was on your mind right now was Vinnie.

As you impatiently drove on the streets of Los Angeles, you were also calling Vinnie back only for his phone to dial tone a few time before going straight to voicemail.

Giving up, you toss your phone to the side already arriving at the restaurant, that Vinnie's family specifically rented out so everyone could be enjoyably with a sense of privacy. You hurried out your car, and walking up the double doors

As you tried to pull the handle the doors wouldn't budge, you look around finally realizing the parking lot was empty. You were too late.

Feeling completely bummed out you went back to your car and drove over to the hype house. You honestly felt like shit, and you wanted to let Vinnie how sorry you were.

Your mind blanked out for the majority of the ride, it was buzzing with questions and reassurance with yourself.

He would wouldn't be too mad right? Maybe a little but not much, and you'll make it up to him in no time. You thought, convincing yourself that hopefully he's not a pissed as you thought.

Knocking on the door of the hype house your hands were felt clammy with anticipation. Your legs were trembling with nervousness.

"Hey, y/n we missed you at dinner!" Michael answer the door, as if you weren't feeling already bad you felt absolutely horrible now.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Is Vinnie still awake?" You asked him quickly not really wanting to get into a conversation with him at the moment.

"Um, I'm not sure we haven't seen him ever since we got back." Michael said awkwardly, remembering the fuming look Vinnie had on the entire way back to the house.

"You can go check, though." He added moving out the way so you can enter the house. With a mumbled 'thanks' you hurried to Vinnie's room, ignoring all the greetings from the rest of the house members.

"Vinnie?" You asked softly opening his door slowly, the glow of his TV the hung up on his wall casted light into the room. Vinnie was sitting up on his bed with his back up against the headboard.

Vinnie looked up at the sound of your voice, admiring how beautiful you looked standing by his door awkwardly. Still no matter how irresistible you looked, what you did was fucked up.

"Babe, i am so sorry! I was at the studio working on this song that i wrote about-" You started to say but was cut off by Vinnie.

"Of fucking course you were at the studio, just like you been these last couple months. I gotta question y/n, is that what you really go to?" He said loudly, getting up from the bed.

"What are you trying to say? That I'm cheating on you? You should know me by now Vinnie, that I would never ever hurt you like that!" You exclaimed with just the same amount of volume as he.

"Then I don't fucking get it y/n! Are you that fucking selfish, you bail out every single time we do something?" He furrowed his eyebrows, tonight he was getting all the feelings he'd been building up for weeks now.

"I don't bail out every time, and I'm not selfish!" You denied, not wanting to accepting any kind of words being pushed towards yourself.

"Oh really? What about the time when me and you were supposed to take a trip to New York? Or that time I arranged for us to go and see the premiere of the tomorrow war, which we were both excited for! But who decided to cancel last minute because they would rather fucking over work themselves at the studio than to spend some time with their boyfriend?! Who y/n?!" He shouted now standing close to her face, veins were popping out of his neck and his face was now bright red of rage.

Never in your time together Vinnie has yelled at you like this, not even in the times he'd mentioned you bailing out.

You slowly gulped trying not to cry. "But you know how busy i am, I can't just go and have fun when I have to work, you know that! No wait- of course you don't! You don't know shit about working! You knew from the very beginning when we got together, how it was going to be! And now you want to complain? I don't need you holding me back"

By now everyone in the house can hear the couple.

"So now I'm holding you back for wanting my girlfriend present at something that meant so much to me! Your a real fucking narcissist y/n, I went to every show you had, been right there with you when you received your plaques, and celebrated every award you gotten since I been with you." He blinked his away some of the tears he felt brimming around his eyes, the words that left your lips hurt him more than anything.

He tried to be the best supportive boyfriend he could be, never wanting to "hold you back". When you and him first met, he thought you were completely out of his league. Here you were making something of yourself in the industry, meanwhile he was posting thirst traps on tiktok. To him it just didn't seem right, and for awhile the internet had the same opinion as him.

Whenever a teapage post you two, the comments would be horrendous.

"Now, why she with this yt boy?"

"He cute, but what he do?"

"If she don't cop somebody with actual talent"

"He's going to hold her back for sure, good luck tho"

Vinnie never showed it but the comments used to affect him in a way that he saw you were beyond what he can have. So hearing you say that ,crushed his fucking soul. And a huge part believed that you really meant it, otherwise why have you say it?

"I can't believe you just called me that, stop making it seem like i'm a bad guy. I've been there for you multiple times! Just as you have for me! and you know that, what more can I do?!" You shouted back, your bronzed skin were now glisten with tears. The ache in you heart as your eyes looked up at Vinnie and seen his face becoming slowly emotionless despite the few stray flowing down.

"You don't have to worry about me anymore, there's nothing you can do but just leave. You know since I hold you back n all" He told you feeling choked up at what he's was about to do.

"Vinnie, i didn't mean it, i just-" You started to say before cutting off letting out a sob, already knowing what he meant by that but there was no way you was just going to leave like this.

"I'm sorry- okay! please don't." You added, walking towards him, and grabbing his hand.

Vinnie avoided all eye contact with you as he yanked his hand from your grasp, he didn't want to see the damage he caused-not on your prepossessing face.

"We're done, y/n."

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Typical

Summary: Y/N has some time off from hunting when reality hits her hard. Dean steps in and helps the best he can.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Female!reader

Warnings: Language, implied depression, mentions of injury, fluff.

Word Count: 1,788

A/N: Sorry I have been MIA. Life seemed to get a bit hard and I haven’t been myself. Thought I would try writing away some of my feelings and it became this. Will be getting back to the Letter From Hell series soon! Thank you all for reading. Means the world to me!

Typical. Typical would be the word I would use to describe today. Recently it seems as though the entire world has plotted against me with no sign of mercy in sight. I had been on the road with the Winchester brothers for a while doing hunt after hunt until I got hurt last week. The pack of werewolves had a bit more in numbers than we had anticipated, but we managed, and I was the only one to walk away with visible damage. Their claws seemed to cut through skin like butter and I had a pretty nasty slash across my jaw line from my right ear down to the corner of my mouth. Stitches were needed towards the middle of it, but I got lucky to not sport a whole mess of them. Me getting a bit banged up caused the oldest Winchester to make the decision to stop for a bit and regroup. I guess regularly hunting on a few hours of sleep wasn’t our best idea. This led me to going home while the boys went to Bobby’s house a few miles down the road from my dad’s house. My parents both used to hunt while I was growing up. Bobby seemed to be the designated babysitter, which led me to meeting the Winchester family. I basically grew up with Sam and Dean while our parents hunted things that should have caused me nightmares. And it was like that for years until my mom was killed by a werewolf a few years back. Since then, my dad hung up the hunting knife and decided to live the safer life. I knew he had disapproved my choice of occupation, but he couldn’t blame me since I never really got the education a kid should.  He knew I was a good hunter and running with the Winchester’s seemed to keep the disapproval at a minimum.

With this short time off we gave ourselves, I found myself with a date tonight and could not be more excited for it. It was times like these where the apple pie life seemed to scream my name. That this small sliver of normalcy could solve all my problems and life could be everything I wanted it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I live a decent life, but I wouldn’t say every box was checked. It was getting to a point where I needed to be wanted by someone. To have that person who looked at you like you were their entire world. Sam and Dean were my best friends and would have my back through thick and thin. But it wasn’t the same. The one night stands I have in different towns across the country wasn’t the same. So, tonight was going to give me a glimpse of what I could have if I put hunting behind me for a while. Or it was supposed to.

My dad had been out of town when I got home, and I wanted to surprise him when he got back. It had been months since I’ve seen him last, and I figured he would be happy to have his little girl back under his roof for a bit. This was the beginning of my breaking point. My dad was surprised to see me, but the happiness in his eyes lasted maybe two seconds after he saw the cut on my face. He knew exactly what caused it, after seeing first-hand what their claws can do, and lost it. It was either give up hunting or give up my family. An ultimatum I would never be able to choose from and he knew it. He knew he was all I had left for family, but he also knew hunting was all I have known since the day I could hold a gun. When I didn’t answer him right away, he threw me out. Simple as that. I did what any smart person would do in this situation and pushed my problems away like they weren’t even there and headed to the restaurant to meet my date. I was a bit early and ordered a drink while I waited for him to show. And waited. And waited. I don’t know if it was the pity stares I received from the staff or the simple fact my date stood me up, but I was pissed.

It didn’t take me long from that moment to find myself at a bar, downing shot after shot until the world around me became nothing but a blur of noises and colors. I could blame it on the amount of alcohol I had or me trying my hardest to drown out the world, but I didn’t hear anyone come up to me until a hand was placed on my shoulder. “Sweetheart, let’s go home.” I stared up at the green-eyed hunter and should’ve registered the concern on his face, but I was too caught up on the word “home”. Home was a place I didn’t have any more. Hunting just took one more thing away from me in the blink of an eye. Dean seemed to know I was about to snap and led me out of the bar with a tight grip around my waist. He tried to walk me towards his impala, but the feeling of a raindrop hitting my face stopped me in my tracks. I looked up towards the sky and felt the pace of them quicken and before I knew it, the sky opened up. “Y/N, we need to get you inside before you get sick.” I knew he was right, but I couldn’t help and laugh at what was happening. Dean probably thought I was losing it, but after everything that happened today, rain seemed to be the icing on the cake. I felt him reach for my hand, but I pulled it from his grasp. “No.” He froze and stared at me, knowing my breaking point was coming. He dropped his arm and waiting for me to get whatever I needed to off my chest, not caring that the two of us were now soaked to the bone. “I have no home, Dean. I have nothing left. No one wants me and I’m starting to feel like life is the same. That everything would be so much easier if I just gave up. What do I even have left to live for? My mom is dead, my dad threw me out, and this life has ruined so many things for me. No one is going to want a girl whose body is riddled with scars! I am damaged goods, Dean. And it’s starting to seem like everyone I’m around feels the same. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep feeling like this.” Tears mixed with the rain making it hard for anyone to know I was crying, but Dean knew me too well. Dean knew that today confirmed so many of my greatest fears. He took a few slow steps towards me, making sure I wasn’t going to back away from him. I let him get close, needing some sort of human contact to keep me from falling apart completely. His hand cupped my cheek making me look at him as he said, “You have no idea how much you are wanted. You are family to Sam and me, Bobby too. Blood doesn’t get to decide who is family. You do. Yeah the stuff with your dad is crappy, but you know you always have a home with me. I can’t a life where you aren’t in it, sweetheart. If that means living that apple pie life, then I am all for it. I will do anything to make you happy. Just name it and it’s done.” Of all the things to break me down today, Dean’s words managed to do it. My body seemed like it was shutting down and I fell into his arms, his grip around me tightening to keep me from hitting the muddy ground. He scooped me up and carried me to the impala, gently placing me on the passenger side. It didn’t take him long to get in as well and start driving us to I assumed Bobby’s house.

The first few minutes were filled with silence and the lull of Baby against the uneven road. A shiver went through me, and I sobered up quickly when I realized we were both dripping with water sitting inside Dean’s precious car all because I was too pissed off at the rain. “I’m sorry.” My whisper seemed to echo in the quietness of the car. He glanced over to me, debating on how he wanted to answer that. I couldn’t blame him. I was the most unstable he has ever seen me in our long years of knowing each other. “Nothing to be sorry about. You had a shit day and stuff like this is allowed.” I looked down at my hands, “I know how you are about Baby. I didn’t mean to get her dirty.” He let out a full-on laugh at my admission, confusing me as to what I said that was funny. “Sweetheart, you were kicked out, stood up, and got drunk alone at a bar only to get rained on and you are worried about my car? God, this is why I love you.” Time seemed to stop as I took in his words. Almost like my mind didn’t want to process the meaning behind it. He seemed to catch what he said as well, and I heard the almost inaudible “shit” come out of his mouth. I turned my body to look at him and saw how nervous he was acting. The famous Dean Winchester was nervous and that spoke volumes. “You’re meaning to tell me that after all this time we have been hunting together, you love me? Or the fact that you let me go on that stupid date tonight when you knew damn well that you loved me? Are you kidding me right now? This whole night could’ve been prevented if you grew some damn balls and actually told me how you feel instead of leading me to believe I was going to die alone. Typical.” I crossed my arms and turned back to the window. It took him a few minutes before he was able to form a sentence. “When you say ‘prevented’ you mean…?” He trailed off and I rolled my eyes at him. “Yes, Dean. Feelings are reciprocated. But I’m too pissed off at you right now to act on that.” I didn’t miss the smile that slowly spread across his face or the way he seemed to relax some. “I take back what I said about Baby.”

[anika-ann]

Attached: Word Is that We Might Work It Out

Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series 

Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 6850🙈

Summary: You said yes to Professor Rogers – Steve – taking you out for ‘coffee’. Ball’s in your court – and you decide to make your move. 

A date, maybe first of many, maybe not. A date with the gorgeous professor who happened to read your erotica about him. What could possibly go wrong? 

Warnings:  alcohol consumption, professor-student relationship and unspecified age gap, language, lots of fluff

A/N: Timeline-wise, this one-shot fits in after chapter four of Attached!!! At the end, you can find the reason behind me writing this. You can consider it one big flashback, if you will 😅 Gif by capchrisevaans.

Series masterlist | previous in timeline

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You lasted one day. One full day since the encounter in the office, since Professor Rogers admitted he would like to take you out for coffee or something similar. Since you two exchanged numbers.

It took you twenty-four hours – maybe less – to decide that so what if that might be a bad idea. It was not against the university rules and Professor Steve Rogers was a fucking specimen who also seemed to be a genuinely nice human being and if you allowed yourself to play chicken just because something only might go wrong in the future, you’d be an idiot.

Penny, your roomie, wholeheartedly agreed. She actually punched the air in victory as you were nursing a greasy lunch due to the wild-ish celebration of the end of the semester together the night prior and you just said to the void: “You know what, screw it. I’m gonna go for it.”

You didn’t even have to say what you were talking about – Professor Rogers had been the topic ever since the faithful Monday.

So you texted him that if the offer still stood, you’d like to meet up on Friday evening. Was he free?

Hey, Y/N :) Thank you for reaching out. Friday sounds great. Do you have anything specific in mind?

“Dude. He’s such a cutie. Who even texts like that?” Penny chuckled, a wide grin on her face as you couldn’t but read the text out loud.

“I texted him like that.”

“Touché. Because you want to impress mister ‘hot as fuck intellectual’ there.”

You just rolled your eyes, neither confirming nor denying. Mostly because Penny was right. But he was the first to use an emoji and… yeah, cutie indeed.

Well, I never say no to dinner and I’m down for almost anything-

“I bet you are,” Penny hummed to your ear and you swung after her blindly and thought of a better phrasing.

Well, I never say no to a dinner and I’m not picky. You choose. Seven-ish sounds good?

“Spoilsport.”

“Stop reading over my shoulder!” you chuckled and bit your lip as the answer came almost immediately.

Seven is alright. I’ll think of something to treat a girl right ;)

Your stomach made a small somersault, your face instantly radiating heat at the possible innuendo. The phone vibrated again before you could fully process the image your mind painted of him actually saying it in his gentle timbre.

Just so we’re clear, what is the nature of the dinner? It can be whatever you feel comfortable with.

Your heart leaped into your throat, hammering wildly.

That was the question, wasn’t it? Since you texted him, you made one thing clear with yourself. If you were doing this, it was going to be a date. You wouldn’t be doing things by halves.

Penny next to you made a noise that sounded as something between an aww and her gagging on nothing. “He’s disgustingly considerate for a man his age planning on going out with a girl your age.”

“He’s not that much older,” you protested instantly, frowning. He wasn’t. She knew that; you had both done your research. “And I think it’s amazing.”

You caught Penny’s smile from the corner of your eye as you typed.

“Well, it is kinda sweet. And I know he’s not, I’m messing with you. It’s just-- DON’T SEND HIM THAT!”

“Why?” you questioned, looking at her quizzically and totally clicking on send on purpose at the same time.

I’d be comfortable with a date if you are.

“It’s so lame. Of course he’s comfortable with a date, he suggested it. Duh.”

The reply came way too fast and Penny chuckled behind you as your jaw went slack.

“You know what? Don’t mind me. Good job. Keep it up,” Penny patted your shoulder as you stared at the screen where Professor Steven Grant Rogers just texted you a damn heart.

It’s a date <3

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

It was a date indeed.

Steve texted you an address on Friday morning (along with an adorable good morning :) ), apologizing that he couldn’t pick you up, making sure you’d be alright getting there on your own. You found it absolutely sweet, considerate and smart. You suspected that his ‘inability’ to pick you up had something to do with the fact that you lived at the dorms and if he showed up there, it would be trending in the university chit-chat room within five minutes.

You spent a better part of the Friday afternoon researching the place and the weather forecast so you could dress accordingly and getting ready.

You were not ready for a date with Steve Rogers however; your nerves were a mess and nothing could ever prepare you for when he showed up perfectly on time in front of the restaurant---- wearing a suit no less.

How were you supposed to function when he was wearing such elegant clothing, a suit he filled up so fucking well?! And he looked just as breath-taking as always, stupidly perfect beard and slightly tousled hair you just wanted to run your fingers through and his smile was so gorgeous and--- Jesus Fucking Christ, the suit- how could you even put words together when looking at him-

“Wow, I feel so underdressed now.”

Clearly, you could speak just fine, only you lost your brain-to-mouth filter. Also, your mouth might have started watering and your heart was pounding like crazy. You would not survive tonight.

But, you also had a point. The restaurant was supposed to be a nice place, but relatively plain. And he showed up in amazingly fitting dress pants, white shirt, a tie and a suit jacket. So yes, you did feel underdressed.

“Oh no, no! You’re not,” he rushed to reassure you, eyeing your semi-leisure white dress with burgundy flowers with an attentive gaze that had you shifting your weight nervously. “I’m overdressed if anything. Sticking out like a sore thumb, I’m sorry.”

You could always just strip the suit jacket, was your first thought, but luckily for you, this time you managed to contain the words before they got out to the open.

“You’re fine,” you said instead, not knowing how else to react; needless to say you were grateful for the smile he gave you despite the double meaning.

Yes, he was fine indeed. Always. It was unfair, really.

“Thanks. You too. In fact, you look beautiful.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, your mind suddenly racing a mile per minute.

It was ridiculous. It was just a word. But for one, it was spoken so kindly and genuinely you couldn’t but think he meant it, for two, it was Professor Steve Rogers who told you that and--- beautiful.

You couldn’t remember a guy ever calling you beautiful.

Cute? Sure. Pretty? Maybe. Hot? Might have happened once or twice . But beautiful?

You might actually swoon.

And you were so lost in your head that you couldn’t but silently stare at the lethally handsome man in front of you and then it again registered in your brain that this was your fucking crush speaking to you and he was on a date with you and he had read your erotica, one that was about him no less-

Your face was set aflame in an instant and you… you couldn’t let out a word.

“It everything okay? Did I… did I say something wrong?” Steve asked hesitantly, a concerned wrinkle appearing between his brows and it reminded you of all the times you had seen him wearing such thoughtful expression in the two classes he taught instead of Professor Barnes and-

You were screwed.

Tonight was going to be a disaster.

“No, uhm, no, sorry--- maybe we should go inside or-“ you muttered, lightly gesturing towards the door and could you get any more awkward?

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

He let you walk in first like a real gentleman, the lightest skim of his fingers on your lower back, which caused your heartbeat to skyrocket; and only when the hostess seated you, you realized you never accepted his kind compliment.

It was too late for that now, you assumed, so you sipped at the still water which waited at each table, and repeated like a mantra to yourself that you needed to get your shit together otherwise you’d ruin your shot before the night even started.

But clearly, you succeeded at that already.

Whatever awkward aura you had around yourself, it seemed to extend now to him too – he shifted slightly in his seat (he had pulled out your chair for you before, because of course he had), his shoulders stiff. Despite that, he smiled at you over the menu.

“So… all exams worked out? Enjoying the freedom?” he asked casually.

“Oh, yes. Yeah.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” you uttered with a forced smile, your stomach twisted unpleasantly.  

For some reason, you felt like you were having a lame attempt at small talk with a professor, which you were, but it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

Not tonight. Not on a date.

What were you even doing here? What were you playing at? Professor Steve Rogers was entirely out of your league, gorgeous, funny, kind and smart and here you were, barely making conversation.

It was pathetic really. It was embarrassing for both of you.

“You up to anything fun?” he queried, the question less enthusiastic than the one before. He was already growing tired of making your uncooperative brain work at least a bit, it was obvious.

Your gulped as the memory of last night popped in your head – staying in, quiet evening, in a mood for some dirty writing--- oh bless, another reminder of why this dinner was and should be really weird.

Steve read your smutty story. The one about him.

“Nothing special,” you squealed silently, earning a plain nod. “Eh, we went out with Penny, my roommate and best friend in one person. But mostly I just stayed in and--- caught up on sleeping.”

“I know what that’s like,” Steve hummed, clearly as grateful as you were when the waiter appeared by your table to take your orders.

Silence stretched as the man left, your hand beginning to fiddle with the neatly folded napkin on the table, lump growing in your throat due to your nerves.

“What about you? Anything… fun?” you asked reluctantly, noticing a brief smile passing Steve’s lips. Pretty, sinfully pretty lips. Perfect. Untouchable for mere mortals like you.

“Oh, not much. Few exam sittings, faculty meetings – we had one now, hence the suit-“

“You came here right from school?” you blurted out, startled – and clearly surprising him with your rudeness. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Yes, I did. We have a meeting every last Friday of the month.”

“Oh my god, you must be so tired,” you sympathized with him quietly, the uneasy feeling in your stomach only growing. He came here straight from work and for this? “Why didn’t you say something? We could have postponed or something.”

Steve swiftly shook his head, his warm hand landing on yours, gently stopping your restless fingers. This time, it was butterflies in your stomach erupting with life, the sweet comforting gesture warming your heart. He wanted to be here. He came here for you. He was interested in you.

And the feeling was mutual. So why was it being so weird then?

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad you reached out. I’m glad that you said yes in the first place,” he admitted, features softening despite the tension in his shoulders never leaving. His brows furrowed as he slowly withdrew his hand – it must have been an automatic reaction then. “I’m not that tired and… and maybe I was little worried that if I asked for a different date, then…”

He trailed off and your lips parted in surprise, your heart swelling in your chest at what he was implying.

Did he think you’d back out? Did he think that all the potential obstacles intimidated you too much? That you’d think it wasn’t worth it? That it wouldn’t work out anyway?

Seeing as you were now, you couldn’t blame him. Despite him being the world’s most charming man, here you were, being… not at all yourself, stressing for no reason.

It seemed to you that had had chemistry, back there in his office. This date made sense. When you imagined how this could unfold, well, it went a bit differently too. There was considerably less embarrassment going around.

This was why you preferred writing to speaking. That’s why you liked daydreaming. Because reality was often less than ideal, no script, awkward silences, misunderstandings…

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as your food arrived.

You both thanked the waiter politely and you hoped that at least now you’d have a good excuse for the lack of normal conversation.

“What are you sorry for?”

You sighed and nibbled on your lower lip, not missing the way his gaze instinctively flickered there, pupils dilating just a fraction – but enough for you to notice. Your heart skipped a pleased beat – but the undeniable physical attraction couldn’t be enough.

“For this,” you said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. His features twisted in disappointment and something that looked a lot like regret flashed in his eyes. “I want to be here, Steve. I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me-“

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” he was quick to oppose and you couldn’t help it as a wry chuckle escaped you.

“Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with you. And still, there’s this…”

“…tension?”

You wished.

“Sort of? But not the fun kind, for sure.”

He grimaced, but a spark of amusement lit up his blue irises. “Awkward air around us?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed victoriously as he voiced exactly what you were thinking. Then you quickly lowered your voice, looking around. Luckily, no one stared at you. You realized you leaned closer to him over the table, your heart racing at that, but you didn’t withdraw; it was a lovely opportunity to get even a better look at his perfect face. “But I don’t know why!” You knew why. “I like you, Steve-“

“I like you too. And I know I already said that, but you look stunning.”

Your cheeks burned again, but this time, you managed to stutter out a thank you at least. Stunning, Jesus, was he for real?

“T-thank you. You look incredibly handsome too. Then again you always do—why did I say that.”

One corner of his lips quirked up.

“Why thank you, I’m glad you did. The feeling’s mutual, believe me.”

“Then why does this feel like one of the most awkward dates I’ve ever been to?!” you whisper-yelled, causing him to chuckle, the tips of his ears turning red.

His hand once again landed on yours, this time deliberately, the gesture warming you in more than one way.

“Well… I’m nervous. You might be too.” You hummed in agreement. Was that all it was? “But the way you said it, at least it seems to me that it could have been worse, right? More awkward?”

You felt the corners of your lips rise at the remark, shrugging. He had a point there. And he squeezed your hand a bit and good Lord, it should not be making your heart race so much, but he was touching you and he was being really sweet and his fingers were nice and warm and long-

“Tell me.”

You blinked in surprise, realizing you had been staring at your joined hands. You raised your gaze, finding him watching you with a subtle smile.

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me about the most awkward date you have ever been to,” he clarified, his thumb caressing your wrist.

You only hesitated for a beat before you nodded in agreement, god knew why. Perhaps you did need a reminder that this could have gone much more disastrously and it was mostly your traitorous brain telling you that you were messing everything up.

Plus, Steve deserved whatever he wanted – so far, he was the only reason this date wasn’t as disastrous as it could be.

“Okay. You ever been to a speed dating event, Steve? Because I have.”

“Oh, this is ought to be good,” he noted with another squeeze to your hand, before he released you. Shame. He sipped at his wine and dug into his pasta. “I’m all ears.”

This is ought to be good, Steve said. Well, maybe. You certainly hadn’t thought so at the time.

Explaining to Steve that as you had been under duress from no other than Penny, you both went to the event which promised you meeting ten dashing men in only an hour. You’d get five minutes with each, as anonymous as you’d wished to be, receiving a folder with nothing but a table with the first names of the men and a yes and no option and a line for your own notes about them.

You weren’t sure what to think of it – but after three epically failed Tinder attempts, you agreed to try. If nothing else, you’d gain a new experience.

And an experience had it been. You even lasted a month with one of the guys, but you didn’t tell Steve that. It wasn’t important.

André was.

André Whatever-was-his-last-name – because that was how it worked, no last names – definitely believed he was important. With the guys moving around the tables from one woman to another, spending five minutes with each, you could already hear André closing to your station from two tables over.

He was hard to tune out, courtesy of the colour of his voice, extremely unpleasant to your ears, and him never letting the woman he faced talk. Always interrupting. Always turning the conversation around so it would be about him.

Asshole.

You liked to think you weren’t quick to judge people, but André was making you cringe before you were even introduced. And then you actually were.

A minute into his monologue to you, you felt like you were being tortured.

And then the waitress managed to stumble and spill a glass of white wine – partly over your table, but mostly on the floor. At least she caught the glass and you had but a tiny spot on your dress.

“She was apologizing so profusely and I wasn’t thinking, okay. I went for the napkins few tables over to help and— I didn’t realize I put the open folder down for everyone to see,” you explained, feeling like face-palming when you remembered the night.

Steve watched you in anticipation, a small smirk and a knowing look on his face as he guessed you had already circled ‘no’ for André at the time.

Oh, you wished it were that simple. You felt your cheeks burn hot as you continued.

“André read it, of course. Obviously, he already got a hard ‘no’ from me, but… I might have written a tiny note for myself as to why,” you admitted and Steve’s eyebrow rose minutely, his curiosity piqued even more.

You took a deep breath.

“I wasn’t exactly kind to him. It was something along the lines of self-important asshole who probably compensated for something.” Steve huffed in amusement. But oh, if he only knew... you sighed and continued. “And If Draco Malfoy and Gilderoy Lockhart had a love child, this would be him.”

No sound came from your companion this time and your teeth anxiously sank into our lower lip, your pulse wavering. What was Steve thinking? Did he think you had been rude? Mean even? Nerdy? All of the above?

He stared at you for full three seconds, clearly rendered speechless by your harsh judgement.

And then he burst out laughing.

Suffocating weight fell from your shoulders and you silently joined him as you explained yourself.

“I was in my Harry Potter phase! And in my defence, I think it was actually pretty accurate...”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, sweetheart,” Steve chuckled lightly before laughing some more, irises twinkling with amusement and something… softer.

You shuddered upon hearing the endearment spill unwittingly from his lips, upon seeing the emotion on his face.  And maybe you were a little proud of yourself for making him laugh and lose the tension in his shoulders completely.

“It was one of the longest and most awkward three minutes of my life, the silence that followed,” you huffed, massaging your forehead. “He did not appreciate the comparison.”

“I bet,” Steve cackled, taking another bite of his meal, smile playing in the corner of his lips as he swallowed and continued. “But you’ve got to give it to him, he knew his Harry Potter characters.”

“Ha! My thoughts exactly. But that’s a little bit of weak base for dating, I think, especially since I kinda already hated him.”

“Oh, you did? I didn’t catch that,” Steve joked lightly, causing you to smile despite the horrid memory.

And funnily enough, telling him and remembering it… it did make you feel better and more at ease with him.

“Ha ha ha, laugh it up, Professor. Your turn.”

“I’m sorry?” he said, clearly puzzled. It didn’t escape your notice as his voice faltered, his Adam’s apple bobbing at the addressing.

Oh, so that’ s still a thing. You couldn’t but smirk a bit at that.

“An awkward date. You have to share now, it’s only fair,” you shrugged, only for a terrible realization to dawn on you. “Please tell me there is at least one awkward date story, Steve. Tell me this isn’t really your worst date ever.”

He shook his head with a soft chuckle.

“Oh, there’s plenty. I’m just trying to think about one that won’t scare you away from me. I’d hate that.”

One corner of his lips raised, he looked you up and down, lingering on your lips for a bit before meeting your gaze, something you could only hope was fondness and wanton in his eyes. Your breath hitched, heat pooling in your abdomen at the thorough onceover despite the gentle tone of his voice.

Fuck how could he make you feel hot and soft at the same time.

Unable to stand the intensity of his stare, you lowered your gaze and gulped, your stomach making an excited slip. He did want you. You had been being silly, letting your nerves get the better of you.

Clearing your throat, you willed yourself to look up, finding him still watching closely – and perhaps, there was a hint of a red to his cheeks, the tip of his ears burning as if despite the blatant flirting, he was unsure of himself too, because he didn’t want to mess up with you either.

You found it absolutely endearing and your heart swelled. The way you got to see there was more to him than his professor side and his dashing looks… you felt incredibly lucky. The more you got to interact with him, the more it wasn’t just your sinful thoughts belonging to him – he was quickly working on stealing your heart as well.

Plucking up your courage, you were the one to reach out this time, carefully sweeping your thumb over the back of his hand, smiling.

“I’m not scared off all that easily, Steve.”

He mirrored your genuine smile, a glint of something you couldn’t read lighting up his eyes.

“That’s good to know,” he said lowly and sighed, narrowing his eyes as if he was assessing you again. “Alright, here goes…”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You actually managed to get one more awkward date story from Steve, because frankly, his experiences were hilarious. And surprise surprise, he was a great narrator. Plus, while he talked, you could ogle him shamelessly without fear of looking strange.

But you guessed that since you were on a date, you could ogle him anyway. He didn’t seem to mind; in fact, whenever he got the opportunity, he reciprocated it. It finally did feel like a date, the air growing thicker as you gradually shifted closer and closer, the light touches prolonging, feet meeting under the table without parting as soon as they made contact.

Your belly kept warming up with each smile and laugh, with every second of the intense eye contact, with every flicker of his gaze to your lips and vice versa. Sharing a dessert was a terrible idea, because you wanted kiss the crumbs sticking on his lips away. You teased each other, you complimented each other – with Steve absolutely winning the undeclared contest – and you realized that despite sharing your most embarrassing dates with each other at the beginning, this was the absolute best you had ever been to.

And you didn’t want it to end.

The light sweater you had brought with you did nothing to shield you from the surprisingly lukewarm wind. As you wandered the streets, Steve finally heard out one of your first thoughts you had had when meeting him today – he shrugged off his suit jacket.

Which… yum. The seams of his shirt were crying for help and you could only think fo one way of helping them – taking his shirt off too. But alas, Steve didn’t continue the striptease, probably because you were on the street. Instead, he did the most wholesome thing and held out the jacket for you to slip into.

You only hesitated a moment, teeth sinking into your lower lip. How could you say no to that?

“That’s awfully cliché and really sweet at the same time,” you muttered, causing him to shrug, one corner of his lips raised in a smirk as he helped you put it on, forefinger most definitely deliberately caressing the side of your throat before withdrawing.

A shudder ran down your spine, electrifying feeling going straight to your core. The whiff of whatever cologne he was wearing enveloped you, clouding your senses. Goddammit he smelled so good.

“Maybe I just want to see you in my clothes,” he hummed, the suggestive remark knocking the breath straight out of your lungs.

Stepping to your side from behind your back, you caught a glimpse of his expression – a little bit smug, a little bit panicked as it probably registered with him just how much suggestive it was, perhaps crossing a line.

It was absolutely not crossing the line, because the thought of wearing his clothes, preferably grabbing it because you couldn’t find yours after you threw it all around the room as you frantically stripped each other was making your head spin in the best way.

“Maybe I’d really enjoy wearing your clothes after you rip off mine.”

Steve’s jaw went slack, a choked noise leaving him and you couldn’t but laugh at his dumbstruck expression. Surprise, professor, you little shit. I can keep up.

“That was… mean,” he said, clearing his throat. Your eyebrows rose, pot calling the kettle back style. “But I see how I deserved that.”

“Damn right… but that doesn’t mean it’s a lie,” you shrugged, chuckling at the exasperated look he shot you.

‘Man, she’s gonna fuck you up on a whole new level and I’ll be here for it in the front row with a bowl of popcorn,’ Barnes’ words to Steve which you weren’t meant to hear echoed in your head, making you grin.

The teasing was intense, yet you felt comfortable in it. You blamed Steve and his nature – he already felt like a guy to go lengths to make you feel at ease enough; the way he had kept insisting on you choosing whether this was a date or not only proved it. He made it easy to be yourself, making you feel like you could.

And he made it perfectly clear that he was enjoying seeing you like that, that he appreciated you as you were.

But the closer you got to the campus, the more the reality was settling in, your laughter fading, butterflies and heat replaced by anxiety. He was still a professor. If you went for it, it wouldn’t always be uncomplicated like this. The awkwardness crept in as your steps grew slower, the inevitable arriving.

He couldn’t walk you home, to walk you to the dorm, even if the desire to do so radiated from every fibre of his being. He couldn’t do that for the same reason he hadn’t picked you up.

You came to a stop, feeling like there was this invisible border to a safe, students-free part of the city, the line you couldn’t cross side by side.

“So, uhm… this is it, huh?” Steve hummed, grim. You appreciated the lame attempt at a smile though and reciprocated, turning to face him.

“Looks like it.”

Heavy silence settled over you pair. Your eyes trailed all over him, lingering on his face, noting as he did the same. He was beautiful; you didn’t care you should say that about a man. He was. The light in his eyes dimmed compared to that just a few moments ago, but it was still there, expression soft, almost as soft as his beard looked, causing your fingers to twitch in need to run them over it and pull him in for a kiss.

Your lips tingled as the idea. You had never kissed a man with a beard and you wanted to know how it felt. The fact it was Steve only sealed the deal and made the need grow exponentially.

You wanted to kiss him so bad. But here you stood, unable to move, unable to speak. You sighed.

“Would you-“ “I want to-“

“Sorry,” you and him said at the same time again, laughing it off quietly, your fingers running through your hair.

Your stomach clenched when you noticed his eyes following the movement almost wistfully.

“You go first,” he prompted you gently.

You didn’t argue – if you learned one thing tonight, it was that Steve was a gentleman and that was so rare these days that you wouldn’t want to discourage him from being that way. Even if you really wanted to know what he was about to say, as soon as possible.

“I… I just want to say thank you. For the… for the date. I had a good time, so I hope you had too, at least a little,” you offered lamely, feeling blood rushing to your cheeks.

Like a schoolgirl blushing in front of her professor. Jesus, why were you being like this again.

Steve didn’t seem to find you as awkward as you felt however, your name slipping from his lips, kind and soft.

“I had a very good time. You’re amazing.” Your lips parted at the blatant and genuine compliment. His eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, that came out so strong, I didn’t mean to put you in spot like that-“

Stronger than ‘maybe I just want to see you in my clothes?’ you asked yourself. No, you didn’t think so. It was just that the playfulness had left at least two blocks back.

This felt more serious. More intimate.

“Ditto,” you whispered, gracing him with a shy smile he instantly mirrored. “But hey, I already knew that, so…”

He chuckled, shaking his head lightly, his smile only growing. When he looked at you again, his eyes were the beautiful warm blue that made you weak in the knees.

“Would you like to do something like that again?” he queried lowly.

Yes. YES. YES PLEASE. Minus the awkwardness at the beginning and the one a moment ago, preferably.  

“Yeah. I’d like that,” you agreed simply, taking note of how his face lit up even more.

How could a man be so indescribably hot and yet adorable enough to tug at your heartstrings?

“Good. I’m glad.”

He tugged at your hand unexpectedly, pulling you to your left, his other hand steadying you by gently grasping your forearm.

Before you could question his actions, a pair of men swaying in a drunken haze passed you, having no care in the world for whom they might crash into.

“Thanks,” blurted out lowly, sparing a second to shoot their backs a dirty glare.

But Steve’s hands were still on you, distracting, as you stood face to face, chest to chest, a little too close, a little too far. Your heart sped up in your ribcage, breathing picking up in anticipation. So close…

But all Steve did was to squeeze your forearm reassuringly, lifting your joined hands to his face.

Just like the day you agreed to get coffee with him, he kissed your knuckles, only this time it was much firmer. His smile was sweet and utterly irresistible as he kept looking at your face and you felt all the worries about the future melt away once again.

He was so precious and this felt so right and--- you didn’t want him to kiss your hand.

Well, you wanted it, but you wanted more too.

You had been aching to kiss that mouth since you had first set eyes on him, on that inhumanly gorgeous and hot creature. You were on a date, you both had a great time and clearly he was giving you the opportunity to decide how far you wanted to take this, because as much as every little touch of his made to crazy, the displays of affection were positively chaste.

And you wanted to take it very very far.

Your rational brain wouldn’t let you just hop into sac with him today, but fuck, you could do with a kiss. You wanted to feel that perfectly trimmed beard of his and you wanted to taste him.

Did he?

You stepped even closer as he let go of your hand, distracting you minutely; due to the sudden proximity, it landed on his chest and Jesus fucking Christ he was firm.

Your fingers clutched at the white fabric of his shirt as you observed his face, your gaze inevitably flickering to his lips. Glancing up once more to find him still watching you intently, pupils dilated, your breath caught in your throat, heat stirring in your belly.

Rising to your tiptoes, you gripped the fabric tighter and shortly pressed your lips to his.

It was a funny feeling – lips hot, soft and slightly chapped, a stark contrast to the beard, less rough than you expected, leaving a tingly sensation behind. It was different; exciting and addicting. Before he could react and before you could think twice, you kissed him again, this time lingering for a few seconds, your eyelids falling shut.

Your heart fluttered when you felt his lips reluctantly respond just as you withdrew, his grip on your arm tightening. You ran your tongue over your lips to savour the feeling, mouth instinctively curling up in a smile, gaze meeting his.

Little wrinkles appeared around his eyes as he smiled as well.

“You okay?”

You nodded, almost too eagerly, lowering back to your whole feet. Involuntarily, your gaze flickered to his mouth again, wanting more.

“Uhm… beard,” you piped up unhelpfully, pressing your lips together as soon as the admission left them.

Steve’s smile widened as he once again grasped your hand, leading it to cup his face – not before he dropped a kiss to your palm.

You almost let out a very embarrassing whine at the curious sensation, your mind, still enveloped in Steve’s warmth and cologne, wondering how the beard would feel elsewhere.

Your fingers unwittingly caressed the hair, thumb brushing his lips, unable to resist.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, lips parting, hot breath fanning over your skin as watched you.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed out and that was it – you pressed against the soft swollen flesh at the pet name, causing a low grumble echo in Steve’s chest.

And then his hand slid to your waist, the other sinking into your hair, and he pulled up into a kiss that had nothing to do with how patient he had been before. He was still a gentleman, but it was a close call – he angled your head to his liking, his lips dancing with yours in a sensual dance with just a tease of tongue licking at the seam of your lips, causing you to sigh in bliss, granting him access.

He hummed appreciatively, the sound shaking your bones as he held you flat against him, the heat of his body seeping into yours – as if every nerve ending in your body wasn’t on fire already. He breathed you in, consumed you entirely – there were no other words for it.

There weren’t many words you could think of to begin with, too busy feeling his broad shoulders under your palm, fingers roaming to find the soft hair at his nape, revelling at the taste of him, just a smidge of tongue and you wanted more, your insides twisting in need--- and oh, your back was pressed against a wall now.

You let out a small startled sound which Steve instantly swallowed – but it was a good wake up call for you both. The motions of his lips slowed, softened, a gentle caress more than anything, his thumb stroking your cheek.

Breathless, you chased after his mouth when he retreated, earning one small peck and then another. He rested his forehead against yours, nose briefly skimming yours, causing you to smile and meet his gaze.

“Sorry,” he muttered and you genuinely wanted to slap his arm or something for apologizing for that. Because you knew what you’d be thinking about for the next few hours, days even, hell, probably weeks. “For springing out like that. I just… wanted to do that for a long time.”

The admission had your heart skip a beat and you couldn’t but lean in to kiss the corner of his mouth – and nope, you weren’t over how it felt, his beard against your lips. You wouldn’t be over it for a long time, you suspected.

“Me too.”

“So… we’re doing this again, right?“

You smirked up at him as he reluctantly released you. “You springing out like that or-“

“Don’t test me, babygirl,” he nearly growled, causing your eyes going wide as saucers, feeling as if you were sucker punched to your gut – and liked it.

Babygirl. Jesus, he was going to be the death of you.

“You can spring out like that again too,” you chimed, your voice sounding a bit strangled, because holy shit he just called you that. His gaze flickered all over your face, a shade darker than before. Your underwear was thoroughly ruined with that single look… and the earlier make-out session. “But if we’re talking second dates, I’d definitely do that too.”

He huffed and shook his head, a chuckle escaping him.

“You’re a minx…. I think I like it.”

You grinned at him and then sighed regretfully, reaching to slip off the jacket, which made him frown.

“You could give it back later.”

“Don’t tempt me… don’t want to rob you of it--- and there would be questions,” you explained, knowing that even walking around the campus like what would raise rumours of god knew what.

Like, maybe someone would think some gentleman like Professor Steve Rogers himself lent it to you or something, gee, where would that come from...

Steve nodded in understanding, accepting the jacket and shrugging it on.

“Plus, I’m thoroughly warmed up,” you added cheekily, causing him to chuckle incredulously again. With a sigh, he leaned in, cradling your jaw in one large hand and pressed a sweet lingering kiss to your forehead.

You could melt on spot.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Let me know when you get home safe?” he asked of you gently, tugging at your heartstrings some more, because of course he did.

“I will. You too?”

His smile was soft and sweet as he promised to do so, clearly touched by your care. Well, that made two of you.

“Goodnight, Steve. Thank you for tonight.”

“Thank you.”

You breathed in deeply, dropping a last kiss to his cheek and quickly spun on your heels to walk away – because if you wavered a second longer, you might have not left at all.

Sure, you looked back at him several times, finding him standing where you had left him, his eyes following your receding figure. But you kept walking.

And once you couldn’t see him anymore, you broke into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in your palms to muffle your delighted squeal.

You were just coming back to the dorms from the date with Steve Rogers.

And despite the hiccups, it was the best damn thing in the world, leaving you giddy and already craving another date and more. Your cheeks hurt from smiling by the time you made it to the dorms, your heart pounding excitedly the whole time.

As promised, you let Steve know you made there safe, earning another text with a heart. It only made you squeal again, fingers frantic as you replied – and with a kiss for goodnight so he knew you truly enjoyed your night, ending included.

What he didn’t know was that maybe, just maybe, the next evening you wrote a tiny story in which you elaborated at what could happen if he ever pushed you against a wall and kissed your breathless ever again.

And hopefully, he would.

Soon.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Attached masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

...how it happened? I was asked about the first date, very kindly and in a no pressure manner.

S: Hey, just out of curiosity, you don’t really have to answer… how do you imagine their first date went?

me: Hm, let me think, I guess, mm, it would be like this--- oh shit. Oh no. It’s gonna be a fic again, isn’t it? Maybe I could finally write a headcanon or a drabble--- sigh.

As if I could ever.

Thank you for reading :-*

[theladyofdeath]

Another First Date {Fatherhood}

An extension of Oblivion. It’s not necessary to read the story first, but if you’d like to, here is the masterlist: Oblivion

A series of short stories that revolve around Cassian as a single father, raising his daughter, Lily.

Fatherhood {Oblivion Masterlist}

Cassian looked in the mirror and slowly shook his head.

He felt ridiculous.

It had been almost ten years since Cassian had been out on a date and he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. If it hadn’t been for Feyre and Elain’s constant asking of him to get himself back out there and be happy, he wouldn’t even be doing what he was about to do.

It wasn’t that Feyre and Elain wanted him to forget about Nesta. Instead, they insisted that he was lonely, even though he really wasn’t. He had no time to be lonely.

Lily kept him on his toes.

At nine-years-old, she kept him just as busy as she had when she was a newborn. Instead of changing dirty diapers and gifting her unending bottles, though, he was taking her to dance and soccer, helping her with homework, and bringing her and her friends to the park on playdates. 

But, after his sister-in-laws thought he should be doing more for himself, they had set him up.

He had a ton of emotions about it.

Nerves being at the top of the list.

Excitement from time to time.

An excessive amount of guilt. 

Which was ridiculous. Of course, he knew Nesta wouldn’t have minded him finding someone else. It had been nearly a decade since her death. By now, most people would have moved on and found someone new. 

Cassian just hadn’t been ‘most people’.

“You look nice, dad.”

Cassian spun around, not having heard his daughter creep into the doorway. Kiara, their golden retriever, sat by her feet.

“Yeah?” Cassian asked, looking back in the mirror. “I shouldn’t wear the red shirt?”

Lily shook her head, arms crossed. “Definitely the black.”

“Alright,” Cassian sighed. “Thanks, kid.”

Lily nodded. ‘Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome. While you were getting yourself all prettied-up, Aunt Lainy got here. She’s ordering pizza for me and Nora.”

Cassian nodded as he grabbed his wallet and keys from off the top of his dresser. He slowly faced his daughter. “Look, if you’re not okay with this-.”

Lily groaned and rolled her eyes. “Dad, I told you it's fine.”

“I know, I just-.”

Lily, apparently having heard enough, turned on her heels and walked away, Kiara keeping just behind her. He had asked Lily the week before if she would be okay with him going on a date.

And he had continued to ask her every day since.

She’d never seemed concerned about it, had told him to go and have fun. He then went on to go into detail about what dates entail, and she told him to please shut up when he told her he may be kissing some random woman.

He also told her that no one would ever replace her mother.

It was impossible. 

And every time Cassian had asked Lily if it was okay, she had told him it was.

So, here he was, feeling like an inexperienced teenager, about to go out on a blind date. Tanwyn worked with Feyre, and Cassian knew very little about her. All he knew is that she was nice and pretty and liked kids.

Cassian figured it was a good starting point. 

When he went downstairs, Elain, Nora, Lily, and Kiara were all on the couch together, turning on a movie. When Elain saw Cassian, she whistled. 

“Look at you, handsome,” she sang.

Lily and Nora covered their mouths and broke into a fit of giggles. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, as he reached the floor and headed toward the door. He stopped in the living room, though, and knelt down in front of Lily. “You’ll probably be asleep when I get home, so if that’s the case, I love you and goodnight.”

“I love you, too,” Lily beamed. “Now leave. It’s girls night.”

Cassian snorted and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. “Be good.”

“She’s always good,” Elain said, shooing him away. As he walked by her though, she whispered, “Have fun, Cass.” 

He would.

He would try, anyway. 

As he got into his truck and put Tanwyn’s address into his GPS, though, he felt like he was going to puke. A date. What did people even do on dates these days? Was romance still a thing, or was it all about sex?

Sex.

Mother’s tits, it had been a long time since Cassian had sex. He’d become quite friendly and familiar with his hand throughout the years, though.

That had been Rhysand and Azriel’s chime when he told them their wives were trying to set him up.

Look at it this way: even if it goes bad, at least you’ll get some.

As Cassian stopped at the stop sign at the end of his road, he felt the strong temptation to turn around and haul ass back home.

But, he knew that would only lead to a scolding from Elain, so he turned right and made his way toward the main road. 

Ten minutes later, he was pulling into Tanwyn’s driveway and regretting everything. 

Leaving his truck running, he strode to the front door, rang the doorbell, and waited.

He could hear hurried steps on the other side of the door, and then it was thrown open.

Feyre had been right - Tanwyn was pretty, and perhaps only a year or two younger than Cassian. She wasn’t much shorter than he was, with her long, tanned legs and long, brown hair. 

She smiled when she met Cassian’s eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Cassian said, then cleared his throat. “You look...nice.” 

She wore a red dress that showed off a generous amount of cleavage. 

“You look pretty good yourself,” she said, and stepped out onto the porch, shutting and locking her door behind her. “I’m Tanwyn.”

“Cassian,” he said, and held out his hand like he was at a damned job interview.

Tanwyn let out a quiet laugh before shaking his hand, delicately. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cassian, the gentleman he was, opened the passenger side door and helped Tanwyn up into his truck. He then got behind the wheel and put the truck into reverse.

“Feyre’s told me a lot about you,” Tanwyn said, when they began driving down the road. 

“Uh oh,” Cassian muttered. “All good things I hope.” 

Tanwyn nodded. “All good things.”

They fell into a silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, even though Cassian’s thoughts remained racing at a million miles an hour. 

What was she thinking?

What exactly had Feyre told her?

Was she aware that he kept glancing at her breasts?

It was going to be a long night.

They pulled into the restaurant and Tanwyn made a comment about how much she liked the place he’d chosen. It had been years since he’d been there, the last time being for a company Christmas party, but the food was good and it was upscale enough to be considered fancy. 

They sat in a corner and there was a candle lit between them. The waiter brought out a bottle of white wine, and Cassian wasted no time downing his glass before filling up again.

Just a little to take the edge off.

“You seem nervous,” Tanwyn said, at last, after the waiter brought them a basket of bread.

Cassian took a slice of bread out of the basket and buttered it up before he asked, “Exactly how much did Feyre tell you about me?”

Tanwyn’s eyes softened, and there it was.

The pity.

“I know about your past, if that’s what you’re referring to,” she said, and took a piece of bread for herself. “And I know you have a daughter, too. Lily, is it?”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, finally finding a subject he was comfortable talking about - his daughter, his love. “She’s almost ten, although she thinks she’s sixteen.” 

Tanwyn chuckled. “I get that. I don’t have kids, but I have a niece I’m close to. She’s the same age. Maybe we can get them together sometime.” 

Cassian nodded as he gave her a nice, gentle smile. “That sounds nice.”

The dinner went on like that. Tanwyn was kind, and she seemed genuine. There was nothing about her that was a turn off, nothing that seemed strange or out of place.

Which is why, when Cassian brought her back home after dinner and dropped her off, he walked her up to her front door and leaned down, pressing his lips softly to hers.

The kiss lasted a few seconds, and it was nothing heated, nothing intense.

It was….nice.

But that’s all it was. Just nice. 

When they pulled apart, Tanwyn smiled. “Goodnight, Cassian.”

“Goodnight,” he said, and she walked inside.

So much for getting some. 

Cassian made his way back to his truck and got inside, and drove back across town to his house. There was a soft light on in the living room, but the rest of the house was dark. He looked at the clock on his dashboard. It was just after ten. 

When he opened the door, Elain was sitting on the couch by the lamp on the side table, watching some horrid reality t.v. show. As soon as she heard the door, though, she was looking over her shoulder, brows raised. “You’re home early.” 

Cassian chuckled as he strode to the couch and plopped down next to his sister-in-law. “Yeah, don’t tell your husband that.”

Elain smiled, but she nodded as she looked back toward the t.v. “So, how’d it go?”

Cassian thought for a minute about the right way to answer such a loaded question, but he eventually settled on, “It was okay.”

“Okay?” Elain repeated. 

“Nice,” Cassian pushed. “It was nice.”

She looked over at him, then. “Will there be a second date?”

Cassian let out a breath through his nose and shrugged. “I don’t think so, Lainy.”

“Why not?” she asked, only curiosity in her voice. “She’s nice, and gorgeous, and judging by the pink lipstick on the corner of your mouth, she’s into you, too.”

Cassian hesitated as he reached up and wiped off his mouth. Sure enough, on the back of his hand was the softest tint of pink. He laughed, quietly. “She was nice. And, yeah, she’s beautiful….but, it just didn’t feel right, you know?”

"Because of Nesta?” Elain asked, resting her head on the back of the couch.

“No,” Cassian answered. “Yeah. Both yes and no.”

Elain just watched him, waiting for him to continue, patiently. 

“There was just no spark, you know?” Cassian said, at last, staring absently at the wall beside the t.v. “With Nesta….it was like this all-consuming fire. Constant flame, passion….” He shook his head. “Every time I even thought about her I would get so weak in the knees that I couldn’t function, and my mind….would just lose all train of thought. When I was with her, even when we were just kids, starting to date, I had no doubt in my mind that she was the one that I wanted. Even after the years we spent apart, I never lost sight of that, never stopped feeling that way about her. Even now, after ten years without her, Elain, every time I think about her…” His words trailed off as a lump caught in his throat and his vision blurred. He cleared his throat, and even though Elain didn’t push for him to continue, he said, quietly, “Nothing and no one can ever compare to what we had. And, I know relationships aren’t meant to be compared and that I could probably get together with Tanwyn, or someone else, and be happy enough. But, when you had a love like Nesta and I had….everything else just seems….small. Insignificant. Underwhelming.” He looked at Elain and he saw what was left of a tear that had fallen down her pale cheek. “I loved too greatly to love again.” 

Elain opened her mouth to speak, surely to protest, but Cassian shook his head. “And I’m okay with that. I’m at peace with it. You and Feyre worry too much. I’m not lonely. I have a great job, a great family, and an incredible kid,” he said, tossing his arm around Elain and pulling her into his side. “As for sex, Tanwyn was too nice for a one night stand. Good thing my hand is great company.”

Elain laughed, pushing off of him. “I can always count on you to ruin a moment with something inappropriate.”

“Yeah, that was an Azriel and Rhys comment, wasn’t it,” Cassian said, even though he was grinning. “True, though.”

“TMI,” Elain commented, shaking her head. She stood, taking her empty wine glass with her to the kitchen. “Wine?”

“Considering it’s mine?” Cassian chuckled as she disappeared around the corner. “Yeah, sure.”

She came back a moment later with two full glasses. “I thought I’d crash on the couch tonight since Nora is already asleep with Lil in her room. Azriel won’t be back from his trip to Adriata until tomorrow afternoon.”

“He needs a new job,” Cassian muttered, taking the glass from her outstretched hand. “Travels too much.”

Elain hummed in agreement, but the job paid well, and Cassian knew that’s why none of them ever complained. 

Cassian kicked off his shoes and watched crappy t.v. with his sister, instead of having spent the night with a beautiful, single woman. Elain didn’t push him any further about it, even though Cassian was fully aware that she most likely had a thousand more questions.

He had meant what he’d said, though. 

I loved too greatly to love again.

His relationship with Nesta had been more than a relationship. She had been his soulmate, and when two hearts connected on the level that theirs had, there was no going back to those simple, mundane relationships.

They just didn’t compare.

And Cassian was okay with that.

He wouldn’t trade what he’d had with Nesta for anything, even though their time together was cut far too short. He’d do it all again, even if it led to the same outcome.

Every damn time.

It was better to have loved Nesta Archeron and lost than to have never loved her at all.