#this is the only post i make anymore. yapping and then talking about winter. but never in an actually useful way

[yellow-computer-mouse]

i'd say "shaking winter in a box" but no. it would be too scary. gently putting the box over his head and watching him stumble around like a cat.

anyways that's it for the night

[ennabear]

vampire!ellie

synopsis: you met ellie in your university’s ancient library, you were just trying to study and ellie couldn’t help but talk to you. it drove her crazy, the scent of your blood. usually, she didn’t even notice the scent on others. she was so used to it that it didn’t bother her anymore. but you were different, sweeter.

cw: kinda like a mix between tlou and twilight, mentions of witchcraft and hanging, vampire!abby being a ladykiller literally, papa vampire!joel, mama vampire!tess, newlyweds vampire!jesse and dina, dina’s transformation, lotsssss of backstory like i seriously couldn’t stop myself from yapping. not proofread sorry :((((((

a/n: i’m definitely gonna make a series out of this. sorry if this is wayyy too long but i have a special place in my heart for vamp!ellie and her sweet vampire family. ok that’s all ily thanks for reading.

wc: 2.2k

you shouldn’t be walking alone at night, really. campus was a sketchy place. a plethora of bad things could happen. you could get kidnapped, jumped, pickpocketed, or, hell, even bitten by a vampire.

the library had the same scent it always did. it smelled like dust and paper. in all honesty, you didn’t prefer it here. although it was beautiful, tall windows lined with stained glass, large bookshelves with every book you’d ever want, every word you could imagine and more, it was just so eerie. something bad was bound to happen here.

anyways, you settled down at the table in the corner. the one farthest away from anyone else. you’d rather be at home right now, studying in bed. it’s only because your roommate invited her stupid boyfriend over that you ended up here. it’s for the better anyway, though, because in bed you wouldn’t get anything done. you’d be too distracted.

you had your priorities written on your palm, the pen now smudged, making it barely readable. writing on your palm was easier, more convenient than a post-it note. but you wrote it down on paper anyways, incase you sweated more of it off before you finished. it wasn’t likely you would, though. the library was freezing, especially in the winter.

the clack of your fingers typing in your laptop password was the only thing to be heard. everyone else was dead silent. this was probably the only thing you liked about the library, everybody agreed on an unspoken rule, make the least amount of noise possible. you got started with completing your essay after shuffling your playlist, determined to finish by the end of the night.

that’s when she saw you.

or, smelled you? your scent was so strong, it hit ellie hard. her vision went dark and splotchy, and she had to grip onto the table for support. her pearly white hands making a dent in the table with how hard she was holding.

you had to be her next meal. she had to find some way to get you alone and suck your veins dry. it scared her, the thoughts she was having. her intentions weren’t to murder you, but she was starving now. you had unknowingly gotten her high on your scent.

she didn’t even know where you were. were you outside? down the hall? in the library? fuck, right next to her? her head was hurting now, really, really badly. but she needed you even worse.

picking up a random book, she used the most brainpower she could to sniff you out. then, she really saw you. headphones in your ears, your hands typing away at something that won’t even matter soon. soon, she’ll have your body in her arms, hopefully in the comfort of her own home. your neck dripping a puddle on the floor as she relentlessly drank from you, your skin growing cold and your lips turning purple.

her docs made silent footsteps across the floor as she walked toward you. this was something ellie learned to master, silence. especially when she went into hunting mode. nobody looked at her as she expertly dodged the creaks in the old wooden floor. nobody saw her coming. especially you. you never saw ellie williams coming.

“hey, is it okay if i sit here?”

“….sorry, what was that?” you scrambled to pause your music.

“can i sit here?”

“oh. yeah, sure. go ahead.”

you went back to typing, not continuing your music incase she wanted to talk. you really hoped she didn’t. you needed to finish your essay. and you weren’t much of a people person either.

“what are you writing?” she asked.

“just an essay, nothing interesting.”

“oh, cool.”

she started reading the book she picked up before sniffing you out. she didn’t bother to look at the title. or read any of the words either. really, she was just staring at it, her mind racing. she needed to come up with something interesting, something to make you like her.

while she stared at the words, you couldn’t help but stare at her. your fingers came to a complete stop as you admired this stranger across from you. she didn’t even introduce herself, how strange. her hair was a dark brown, her eyes black. her face was incredibly smooth. skin paler than ever, she looked as if she was a marble statue, like she belonged in a museum.

and she was reading twilight, of all books. although, you liked the book, it seemed ironic for her, like she was too mature for it. this beautiful stranger was sitting across from you, her eyebrows pulled together in frustration while she chewed on the inside of her cheek. she seemed furious at something, but at the same time, hard to read.

you were almost scared of her, but intrigued above all else.

“do you like that book?” you asked.

“twilight? yeah. it’s okay. i’ve read it a few times.”

“hmm. it’s a classic.”

“it’s not bad. but i’ve read a lot of books. this one doesn’t come close to the others.”

“so you read a lot? how come i’ve never seen you before?”

“i’m usually hiding. i don’t prefer to engage with others if i can help it.”

“yeah, that explains it.”

she got lucky. thank god, if there even is one, that she grabbed a book you knew about. that you started a conversation with her. she thought it was the most stupid book on earth. it was filth, pure mormon fanfiction. and it was completely wrong.

“why are you here so late? it’s almost midnight.” you asked.

“i could ask you the same question.” she responded.

“i have a lot of work i’ve been procrastinating on. if i could choose, i’d be at home. but my roommate’s boyfriend is there and i can’t stand being in the same building as them.”

“i don’t really know why i’m here. i just like to meet new people i guess.”

“i thought you didn’t like talking to people.”

“that’s different. you’re different.”

“how so? you don’t know who i am, and i don’t even know your name.”

she stared at you blankly. you had her trapped. she suddenly realized that maybe you were harder to get than she expected. maybe you wanted to play this game.

“i’m ellie. it’s short for elizabeth but i hate that name. it’s too common, i’m sick of hearing it.”

“elizabeth is beautiful.”

“thanks. you sound like my parents.”

lie. she didn’t know her parents anymore. they had abandoned her hundreds of years ago after suspecting she was a witch because she refused to get married to a man at only seventeen. after a few years, she was hung.

it wasn’t until her new father, joel, took up an investigation of what happened to poor elizabeth. he ended up traveling to their old village and finding her grave after tracing her obituary back to a newspaper published in 1579.

shed been dead for years. joel was the one who brought her back to life. he injected his venom into her long rotten arms and took her in for the seven years it took for her to come back fully. he saved her. he taught her how to walk, how to speak, how to hunt. joel miller was her new father.

joel used to be a police officer. in 1712, he ran into a poor woman, bleeding and begging for his help. claiming that her husband had turned to satan and was now possessed. the woman had been bitten, she eventually would turn into ellie’s mother, tess. joel got bitten too. all three of them spent the next years as newborns in that small cabin, feasting on whoever was unfortunate enough to wander by.

the woman’s husband didn’t survive. he was caught by a clan of christians and burned alive, leaving just joel and tess, who couldn’t help but fall in love. they adopted more kids before and after ellie too.

abigail was the first. she was living alone in the appalachian mountains, feasting on whoever wandered after sundown. leading poor girls, desperate for a good time, into her bed and then eating them whole. abigail often hung out at lesbian bars. the girls who went home with her never came back. a bartender joked with her about this once, the bartender didn’t come back, either.

joel heard about abigail through the only other coven that lived in washington. they said she was a monster, a relentless murderer trapped in a goddesses body. that she could hold the whole world on her shoulders but couldn’t refrain from eating innocent girls who were cheating on their husbands.

abby and ellie were never really good friends, but they tried. abby preferred to keep to herself. usually either reading or climbing a mountain with her bare hands. and she refused to find a long-term lover. ellie was almost the opposite. she preferred more modern things, like making music and fast cars. and she loved to flirt with girls.

jesse came after ellie. he was born more recently, in 1878. he was dying of a disease nobody knew about. they didn’t have the right knowledge or technology to save him, so they quarantined him in a hospital room until he died. he didn’t, though. joel saved his life. the hospital staff were horrified after seeing the blood stained floor, the splatters over the walls, and more importantly, the fact that jesse’s body was nowhere to be found.

jesse had a wife now, named dina. she met him in 1983 at a prestigious fashion school. jesse had already been to tons of colleges. neither of them aged. they never changed. they were all trapped. after studying medicine, law, physics, engineering, and marketing, he wanted a change.

that’s when he met dina. she was a beautiful woman, deep tan skin, dark eyes, long black hair and eyelashes. and she had such a knack for fashion. jesse was in love, it took him a long while before he came clean to dina about who he was. she was so in love with him too, she didn’t mind it, and she certainly wasn’t scared. dina was never scared of anything.

so they got married. and the night after their wedding, they flew to a private island joel owned for their “honeymoon”. aka, dina’s transformation. they were gone for almost three years. jesse kept a journal of everything that happened to her.

july 12, 1989. i did it. i held her so gently in my arms and sank my teeth into her neck. she was screaming, i know she was in pain, but she’ll never admit it. before she fell asleep, i drank a few of her tears and then closed her eyes. she’ll be twenty six for the rest of her life, until the earth stops spinning. i hope she can forgive me.

december 31, 1989. joel, i got your letter. she’s been doing okay. i can’t stop looking at her, her perfect curves and her deep brown hair. i think it was for the better that i took her dress off before we started, she designed it, it was so beautiful. i know she’d get upset about the red staining the expensive white satin. it’s still here, waiting for her. the year is about to end, we still have quite a few months until she awakes. i’m scared. not of her, of myself. am i a murderer? did i, a cold-blooded demon, destroy a perfect, innocent life? will she remember me?

august 27, 1990. it’s been over a year. nothing, but i know it’s coming. i’ve been holding her head on my lap, stroking her hair. i haven’t moved from this position in three months. she is so beautiful. i redressed her in the outfit she designed for this occasion, it suits her well. a part of me regrets this decision. i wish i could grow old with her, maybe have kids someday. sit on the porch while or grandchildren play in the yard. her eyes wrinkling with the smile she always flashes me. this will never happen. it’s just a dream.

november 16, 1990. she is awake. so much screaming. she’s in pain. won’t even look at me. she is thirsty. will bring her some bird blood to quench her thirst.

november 21, 1990. she only sits and stares at a wall, rocking back and forth. her eyes are white now. don’t know if she is okay. or if she will survive. her throat burns. if she goes, i go.

february, 1991. don’t know what day it is, she has calmed down. she didn’t remember anything at first. not me, not her name, nothing. she remembers now, though. hopefully we can come home this year. i still don’t know if i trust her enough around people. if she is caught, she’ll be burned. if she goes, i go.

may 18, 1991. traveled to a near by island. i taught her how to swim, she loves it. she’s so surprised that she can hold her breath infinitely. she is so beautiful, it’s like falling in love with her all over again. there were people at the island, it was a small village. they were kind, but we had to leave early. i don’t want to push her limits, but she did exceptionally well.

october 4, 1991. on our way home. starting this life forever with her. i hope she can forgive me.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

SKRT SKRT

Konichiwassup mate! How do you do this bright evening! I am simply buzzed with excitement because I've finally managed to shake off my post exam exhaustion after sleeping through one whole day~

I was wondering what kind of medieval/mystic being our Ateez boyfriends might be and here are my thoughts:

1. Hongjoong: Fairy. A garden fairy to be exact. Like LOOK at his tiny ass (we're the same height) HE'S SO SMOL (He's actually pretty tall) HOW CUTE! (Well that's true.)

Also I can imagine him fly around in the garden perfecting the aesthetics of the place. And no, he'll not keep some basic ass fancy grass, nuh uh, natural vegetation and grass😌

2. Seonghwa: a Heavenly Nymph. Bro is gorgeous beyond words. His beauty is so sublime he can NEVER be just a mere earthly being. He'd be the most beautiful nymphs of all but equally as deadly. Crpss him and you might just lose a limb.

Yeosang: Forest Elf. Okay hear me out. LONG BLOND HAIR YEOSANG. AND WE ALL KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL THE COLOUR GREEN LOOKS ON HIM. But yes he seems like he'll be the forest protector elf. (Maybe Hongjoong and Yeosang play together idk)

4. Yunho: Dragon. Bro is dragon coded. Like he's SO dragon. Ouu but he'll ne such a sweet dragon tho. Maybe he let's all the forest creatures sleep near him during chilly winters since he naturally exudes warmth.

5. Woosan: Nine Tail Foxes. They're a pair. Do not separate. I'm thinking Wooyoung would be the Nine Tailed fox that goes "Ohhh you look delicious. I wonder what you taste like!" And San would be like "Wooyo we talked about not scaring random travellers for fun anymore." T~T The Yin-Yang Foxies

6. Minki: The mountain diety. He's the one in charge of the forest that the boys live in. Though he's just a babie!:(( like one day a random bunny will he minding his business when he comes across Mountain diety Mingi yapping about his problems to a sympathetic Seonghwa while pouting.

7. Jongho: Moon Spirit. He descends down to the forest at night to sing to all the creatures. The animals sometimes bring him gifts like leaves and shiny pebbles. Has kept them all in a secure box back home.

HI HIIII IM SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK AHAHA I MISSED THIS

okay but i love your brain? ateez as medieval/mystical creatures? hello??

okay i've always thought about demons and darker stuff when it comes to hongjoong but now that you say it.... he fits the concept of a garden fairy so well? tiny lil joong (says i who'd look like a dwarf next to him) with his little trinkets and colours he's so fairy coded actually you've changed my perspective of him.

and seonghwa-- you're absolutely right about this one. prettiest nymph in the area and also the deadliest. too pretty for you. too pretty to belong to the earth. im glad all of us agree on that LOL

i always think fairy when i think of yeosang. fairy or angel. but forest elf is such a cute concept i can def entertain it (esp if it's long blonde hair yeosang wearing the colour green you've found me weakness). he would def be friends with hongjoong, often spotted hanging out with him. seonghwa would sometimes join them hehehehehe

yunho! dragon! coded! TAKE ME HOME!! my gut told me i had to make him a dragon and its worked so well (considering i just became an atiny when i wrote take me home, deciding his animal form should be a dragon is sth im a little proud of). you bet he'd have everyone lined up next to him in the winters for him to keep them warm and snug hoho

omg woosan as foxes yes doesn't help they look like actual foxes. nine-tailed fox duo? even better. yin-yang foxes? im violently sobbing right now. wooyoung would def scare the villagers away only for san to scold him afterwards and he would be like :D

omgg minki mountain deity trust us to give mingi some mighty role when he's literally a babie :(( but yes! yapping about his problems to anyone who sits with him long enough and the mountain creatures be like ah shit here we go again :') sometimes yunho the dragon would find this mountain deity and they would hang out im so soft rn

jongho. moon. spirit. lemme kiss your brain. descends down each night to sing the creatures to sleep? (i need him to sing me to sleep too) im gonna write a whole something about this one day just you watch BUT OMGG imagine its winters and all of the ateez are hanging out next to yunho the dragon and jongho joins them and for a while they all hang out until its time to sleep and jongho sings them to sleep and watches his hyungs with those (◠ ◡ ◠) eyes im gonna cry

[wexhappyxfew]

Soooooooo you said you could do a whole post on Hazel and Joe and I WANNA SEE THIS PLS SUNSHINE

YES MAAM!! hazel and joe’s friends to lover truly gives me SO MUCH LIFE!! i just wanted to finally write a friends to lover where they had set foundations, trust, loyalty, memories, inside jokes, all of it, to make it clear to the readers that they had history, i just wanted to show how they worked throughout the whole story, and the reason it took as long as it did was to truly show their devotion. i’m sorry if this post is LONG AS HELL but i adore these two :) 

WARNING THIS IS SO UNHEALTHILY LONG LIKE WHAT AM I DOING BUT I LOVE THEM AND HAVE NO SHAME -> this is only for the soldier of stars, so if you fancy stuff from Ad Astra, i can do that as well LOL 

Hazel Parker and Joe Liebgott - Friends to Lovers

Am I going to give a thorough in depth analysis of their friendship together? YES MA’AM! Honestly writing these two showed me, that even in dark times you can love someone for who they are, just so many things about how love continues to get through boundary after boundary and these two I feel showed me that, and it makes my heart warm :)) ANDDDD since this post is so ungodly long and just the first book LOL if you want me to do it for Ad Astra Per Aspera, i gladly can, but i didn’t want to continue to make it longer and longer HAHA <3

The First Meeting 

I loved that when they first met, Hazel managed to shut up both George Luz and Joe Liebgott with one sentence. And I think it’s where we see that Hazel isn’t what many people suspect she is because she regards the fact that if it’s worth fighting for, you’ll fight for it, and to be honest that’s okay. To fight for what’s right for you. And for Joe, seeing someone, supposedly viewed as innocent, clearly then state afterwards that she would fight for what was right as well -> something maybe not suspected of her, it draws Joe in. 

The First Stargaze

Stargazing as you know it, is one of the most important aspects in Hazel’s life and Joe coming out to stargaze with her, something that so is not Joe Liebgott, really signifies their friendship for me personally, just because Joe left the dance, to stargaze with Hazel, I mean if that isn’t the start of a friendship I’m not sure what is :)

Teasing - the softest and purest

Hazel had started offering Liebgott her notes, and soon enough they were sharing notes, huddled side by side, writing things down together, and sometimes Joe would bump her as she wrote just to mess her up or peeve her off the deep end. But it was all good fun in the end.

" You know, Joe, hitting my shoulder and messing up my notes, is messing up your notes as well." Hazel had told him one afternoon as Lieutenant Winters stood at the front of the group going over spits of information based on the ideology of the ground and its importance when doing practice runs or drills that were supposed to be of semblance to real combat. 

" I don't entirely care, Parker, I'm just here to annoy ya." Joe mumbled back as Winters voice grew louder. 

" Funny," muttered Hazel, as she kicked his foot under the table. She saw Joe smirk at her. He kicked her foot back and she glanced over towards him.

" What?" he asked, like he didn't just hit her foot.

" I'm a sniper, Joe," Hazel said softly, as she wrote another few words down in her book.

" And?"

" Well," Hazel said as Winters glanced towards the two, " my bullets came move 1,000 feet per second, Joe."

" Right," Joe said.

" And, I know the spots in the body where the most pain could be inflicted upon bullet entry." Hazel said with a nod looking up at the board again.

" Oh right I forgot." Joe said as Hazel let a giggle pass her lips.

Flowers - The Time Joe Brought Flowers

When she [Grace Burnett] opened the door she smiled wide and let out a jolly laugh.

" Well, she'll be happy to see you all." Grace said as Hazel looked over and watched as a bouquet of yellow flowers appeared with Joe Liebgott as the handler, with Shifty just behind him with Catherine and Lizzie bringing up the rear, with a laughing George Luz, which was no surprise. 

" There she is!" Joe called noticing the girl on the couch, curled up into a blanket with sunken in eyes. Hazel smiled weakly.

" Hi." she croaked out.

" Aw, honey." Catherine said, as she frowned with sad eyes, hearing her lost voice. Joe was the first to reach her and pull her into a hug.

" I'm sick." Hazel said as Joe held her close, smelling of pine and cigarette smoke. Joe pulled back with a smirk, a few strands of hair in his face.

" I don't care about that, Parker." Joe said, before holding out the flowers as the rest of the guys filtered into the room, " These are for you." Hazel smiled at him with blushing cheeks.

" Aww, thanks guys." Hazel said, turning and coughing briefly.

" You can thank this guy right here," George said slapping Joe on the shoulders, to which Joe glared.

" Thanks Joe." Hazel said to him and he smiled at her with a nod.

Joe Talks About His Mom 

" You sound like you have a nice family." Hazel said as she glanced at him. Joe glanced at her.

" Yeah, I'd say I do, but mama runs the house. You respect her or you get a slap." Joe said and Hazel smiled shyly, as Joe glanced at her.

" 'Course, you know me, I upset her a few times when I shouldn't have." Joe said. Hazel watched him.

" I got in fights a lot, bruised bloody knuckles, some skinny guy like me getting beat up in the bar down the street." Joe said, shrugging before looking at Hazel, 

" Ever since I was a kid really." Hazel softly watched him, with concerned eyes.

" I'd get pushed down in the park?" Joe started, nodding his head as he picked at his fingers, annoyed, " I'd cry. And I'd go running home to my mom, where she'd give me hugs and kisses, and then some of that Hershey's chocolate."

" It's why you love it so much." Hazel said, shifting closer to Joe in the cold and looking at him gently. Joe felt a small smile on his face as he watched her.

" Yeah, you could say that." Joe said as Hazel grinned.

Joe loves his mom and I LIVE BY THAT. And chocolate being a comfort food because it reminds him of his mom, like yes, I’m going with that, and I just love that Hazel sits and listens to him, it makes me SOFT. Because mainly they both just love their mothers :)

Tricks and Pranks

She glanced towards Liebgott again thinking of her innocent little plan from this morning. She grinned to herself, before slowly bringing her socked feet over the edge to touch the ground. She slowly stood, with her outstretched hands in front of her, tip-toeing towards the sleeping man in his bed. She wanted to get him back after almost a year of the playful teasing she endured from him. And plus, they were friends, she had every right to wake him from a peaceful sleep. Hazel watched Joe shift a bit in his bed and then resume snoring again. Hazel smirked to herself. 

Then she acted. She jumped lightly onto him, right next to his ear, and had to let out a laugh before saying a quick boo in his ear. Joe shot awake underneath her, and it seemed his first instinct was to latch onto her, shoving her to his side, down into the bed, his eyes wide, breathing heavy. But all he saw was Hazel, beside him, small giggles leaving her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut, laughing. Joe tried to be mad at the girl for waking him up, but he felt he couldn't be mad at her. She was too innocent to be remotely upset for waking him up.

" Well, good morning to you, too." Joe muttered out as Hazel managed to let out one final laugh, before looking at him.

" That's for those months of teasing me." Hazel said as she giggled again. Joe couldn't keep the smirk that crawled onto his face off, as Hazel laughed.

" You're gonna get it, Parker." Joe said as Hazel just laughed, turning to roll off the bed to her socked feet again, a smile on her face.

" Sure," Hazel said, as she turned to him, with innocent eyes, and then frowned, " but why would you do that to me?" Joe bit his lip.

" Those puppy dog eyes don't work on me anymore, Parker." Joe said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, " Only when you were sick and that was it." Hazel giggled.

" Can you two shut up?" a voice groaned and the two looked towards Chuck who's body hadn't moved as the voice crept out from around the pillow.

" Yeah Hazel." Joe said childishly as Hazel scoffed.

" You shut up." Hazel said, swinging her foot out towards his bed like a kid.

" No you." Joe argued.

" How about you both shut your yaps!" Bill yelled as he lied on his side across the barrack, his voice annoyed. Hazel couldn't help but look away and let a giggle past her lips childishly as Joe smirked at her. They were just kids. Hazel and Joe together were a pair of childish kids basically.

PRANKS ARE SO FUN AND THESE TWO MAKE IT SO ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS AHHHH

Comfort + Respecting Privacy

Joe Liebgott was the one who sat down beside his best friend, wrapping his warm, comforting arm around her shoulder and letting her rest her head on his shoulder. Joe wasn't about to start asking Hazel what was wrong, he had learned from his sisters that sometimes they just liked to be held in hugs and not talked to. That being there and being held was enough. Hazel wasn't used to that sort of comfort but she was beginning to welcome it with open arms. Joe came to a realization that night; he didn't like seeing Hazel cry. When Joe finally got Hazel resting, or at least attempting rest, he saw the letter that she had dropped to the side. But Joe held himself and closed the letter up and placed it beside the girl's boots. It was for her eyes only and he respected that.

Joe respecting her privacy with the letter from her father, truly shows the amount of respect he holds for her and I truly find it so beautiful, that middle line in bold, like I just love their friendship so much.

D-Day Hug

" Oh, Easy Company!" the group heard. The group turned and faceswere filled with relief to see more members of Easy sitting on the edge with bright smiles on their faces. A smile blossomed on Hazel's face as she recognized Joe Liebgott immediately.

" Joe!" she said excitedly as he neared her. A smile lit up his features as he immediately came upon the girl and wrapped his arms around her. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and hugged him so tight, she wasn't sure if he was still breathing or not. She could've cried as he held her tightly in his arms, so protectively. She had never wanted to hug someone as much as she did now, just to have someone's arms around her, holding her and securing her. She never knew what security a hug could provide.

Physical touch is an important aspect for both of them, especially the meaning of a hug for the both of them. After this, Joe comforts her after her encounter with a German on D-Day, and it’s the first time Joe reassures her about a very real and impactful and painful, traumatizing situation. From her on we see where Hazel knows she can trust Joe with her emotions. 

Talking About Their Faith

" Did you think you'd be here?" Joe asked her, " You know after you joined the WAC?" Hazel glanced at him and let out a tiny sigh before glancing at the sky again.

" I believe in God, Joe." Hazel said softly and then looked at him. Joe watched her softly.

" God believed that he could put me through something like this, and I believed I could to," Hazel said softly, eyes shining with stars in them, " so when the flyer came I signed up." Hazel looked at him with a sad shrug. He didn't know about her dad. But she didn't want to gain all his trust and then show him that she really feared trusting people so much. But the thing was, she trusted Joe, a lot. They were best friends.

This was just so important, for Joe, for Hazel, for both of them, to sit under the stars in the middle of Normandy and for Hazel to tell Joe about her faith in God, and think about her trust she held in Joe. I loved this moment.

Flowers 2.0

That's when there was a knock on the door.

" Blasted, who could that be at this time?" Harry said throwing his kitchen towel over his shoulder and heading up the step towards the door. Harry opened the door as the three women watched and saw Harry's face light up.

" I knew it was you!" Harry called, stepping out to hug the person on the other side, " C'mon in ya blood Yank, gave me half a scare." Hazel raised a brow watching as Lizzie sipped her tea softly. That's when it was non-other than Joe Liebgott who stepped through the door, a smirk upon his features, hair a bit fluffier than normal, and a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. She watched Lizzie smirk and lean over to Hazel and Grace.

" And supposedly he's just a best friend." Lizzie murmured. Hazel shoved Lizzie's shoulder as Lizzie chuckled. Grace smiled at the blush that bloomed on Hazel's face.

" There she is!" called Joe as he entered the kitchen and went over to Hazel first, grabbing her in a hug from behind.

" These are for you." Joe said as he handed her the flowers.

" Aw thank you, Joe," Hazel said, fighting down more of a blush than she ever had.

" Where'd you get them, Joe?" grace asked as Joe gave her a quick hug.

" Down at the market, they have the best flowers there." Joe said, before giving Lizzie a quick hug and resuming standing next to the little island a smile on his features as he watched Hazel gently sniff the flowers and smile at them.

" Thank you, Joe, really." Hazel said.

" What can I say? You're turning 20, I say yellow flowers are pretty important for that." Joe said and Hazel grinned.

Need I say more LOL

Having Each Other’s Backs

" Hey, man what's your issue?" one replacement snapped.

" My issue is, you're not treating her right, and I don't like that. Either grow up or go home. There's a reason you're here." Joe snapped. The replacements stared at him.

" Disrespecting her or any women, is never the reason." Joe snapped again, " you're here to fight a war. And that war's a scary thing, so open your damn eyes and get that through your brains." Joe then put the cigarette back on his lips, and turned away from them and walked back over to Hazel who stared with wide eyes at him. He just placed an arm over her shoulder and turned her around.

" I promise you right now that I'm fuming inside." Joe said to her through the cigarette on his lips. Hazel smiled softly. Joe always had her back, even when she felt she couldn't say anything.

“Best Friend Privileges” 

" Let me show ya." Joe said as he pushed from the counter and walked to her side. She glanced at him.

" No." Hazel said, a small smirk on her face.

" Good luck Joe, she's rubbing off on you." Catherine said leaning back to watch. Hazel laughed.

" No?" Joe said a smirk on her face, " Come on, I wanna help you." Hazel pulled the dart back shaking her head. Joe stared at her, a smirk on his face.

" What? No best friend privileges?" he said. Best friend privileges; a cute little phrase that Hazel and Joe had started tagging onto the end of things, when they would play around and they couldn't get what either of them wanted, or just to annoy the other.

“ Best friend privileges”? ok you two LOL

Adoration

Joe watched Hazel's eyes, even if it were from the side. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but Hazel truly fascinated him. And it was a good fascination. A fascination in the sense of adoration. And Joe never thought he'd adore Hazel as much as he did, because he kept a tight circle usually. But Hazel....Hazel was Hazel. She wasn't fake, she wasn't someone who tried to be someone else, she was loyal and trustworthy and genuine and Joe just knew he could talk to her about anything. 

Joe had never admitted it to anyone, but he had always thought that even from the start that she had a beautiful soul. And even if it were cliche, he had never met someone who was like Hazel. And he was glad that the person he did meet was Hazel. Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she greeted everyone in the barracks as he stood cowering in the corner pissed off at Bill Guarnere for the fight that broke out between the two of them, and then the anger that resided with him the rest of the boat ride. Maybe it was the fairly firm handshake she had offered and the way her eyes were gentle enough to tell a different story compared to the rest of the company. Maybe it was because she didn't approach him, asking what the other girls would ask; a dance, a kiss. Maybe it was because she had accepted Joe for who he was and didn't seem to care that he was a real asshole or that he was someone who would fight people, until his hands dripped crimson red blood, down his knuckles and into his fingers. 

Maybe it was what she had said to him, as she looked into her eyes, without fear, that sometimes people fought because they fought for what they believed in. Maybe because instead of doubting himself for launching at Bill, he actually believed it, for a probable cause. Joe didn't know what it was, why he was the way he was, but Hazel had accepted him for him - and she always seemed to do that with every person. Joe Liebgott felt there was no higher strength than that.

Soft Joe? YES MA’AM. Need I even say more about this scene.

The Two Beans Defending Each Other

Joe and Hazel, the two peas in a pod they were, were practically inseparable after the events of Nuenen and especially her ongoing sickness which fought her throat like a dragon in a cage. So there they were, passed out and exhausted as they snored silently side by side curled in balls like those cats you saw in the window shops on Main Street. But Joe, being the person he was, cared for his friends in any way he could. He agreed, he was an asshole, but he was asshole for specific reasons most of the time. But with his friends, that was different. Especially a friend, a best friend at that who was sick and was kept up at night by coughs or a fever or the chills. 

Over the past few weeks, he had been staying closer to Hazel than before, making sure she ate and drank, making sure she slept and was warm and if there was medicine that Gene could provide that she could get some. And so sleeping next to her, was another way to make sure that if she started coughing, he was there, to make sure he patted her back, and got her water. But he'd always been that way whenever one of his family members were sick. He was cocky, and admittedly rude sometimes, and he had a crude sense of humor, but family and friends were important and when he cared, he cared; he didn't try to hide that. And many of the men knew that about Joe. When Joe cared about someone, he did everything in his power to make sure they were alright. 

And in this case, it was Hazel. Catherine looked up from her cup of water towards Joe and Hazel who were curled up, sound asleep and smiled softly. Catherine truly admired their companionship. They were complete opposites, yet they were best friends who understood each other like the backs of their own hands. If Hazel was doing it, Joe probably was as well and where ever the one went, the other followed. And they acted like actual children, but knew when to get serious. And if you messed with either one of them, hell came for them.

I can’t preach enough about these two having each other’s back, it’s the cutest thing and it makes me so soft. But Joe being by her side as she is horribly sick, is one of the purest things ever, just to make sure she’s okay, I can’t even describe how important it is that he sticks around as she is so ungodly sick. (+Joe Liebgott punching Cobb out the week before for saying something about Hazel, but maybe that’ll be another post :))

Physical Touch > Comfort

Hazel watched Joe come up the dike, her eyes softly resting on him. Joe met her eyes from across the large area. Hazel bit her lip and then slowly approached Joe who stood, seemingly waiting to rip off someone's head. Joe didn't scare Hazel, whether he was happy, whether he was sad, whether he was upset. She never feared a friend. She never feared someone she trusted, but sometimes they broke your heart in the end. And that's where Hazel was careful. But Joe. Joe she trusted deeply. Hazel looked up at him, as he tried to contain himself, contain the anger that seemed to want to spill past every inch of him. Hazel slowly reached forward and gently pushed up the brim of his helmet from his eyes. Joe felt his eyes close at the soft touch. When he opened his eyes next, Hazel's soft eyes were watching his. Her eyes then went to his neck. She slowly reached to his wound and gently touched the skin on his neck. He flinched.

" Make sure you get that checked out, Joe." Hazel whispered softly. Joe looked at her and forcefully nodded. He was angry, so angry. Hazel knew that physical touch calmed Joe more than anything; it was something his mother had always done from what he had told her about Mrs. Liebgott. Liebgott had told Hazel that his mother would always try to hug him, brush her hands through his hair or scuff it up to annoy him, gently pat his shoulder, give him a rub on the back. So Hazel slowly reached forward and adjusted his collar and the part of his ODs which buttoned up on the front. Joe watched his friend, her gentle eyes remaining so focused even after the chaos of the battle they'd just gone through, the little bit of her tongue poking out from her lips as she remained focused on adjusting the front of his ODs, her freckles more prominent from the constant sun she had been getting, the way her blue eyes flitted about. Joe slowly reached up and wrapped his hands around Hazel's, causing her to look up towards him slowly. Joe let out a shaky breath, attempting to calm himself. Hazel always calmed him down, even if she didn't know it. Joe then didn't hesitate to slowly wrap his arms in a trembling hug around her neck and pull her into his arms. Hazel slowly hugged him back, pulling him close, holding him there. Sometimes the boys needed to be held, it was human nature.

Hazel comforting Joe, quite possibly is the purest thing I’ve ever written in my life and the fact she makes him calmer and more controlled makes me love them even more!! <3

Joe Returning From His Neck Wound

" Guess who?" a voice asked and Hazel's eyes widened. 

" The life size Hershey bar?" Hazel asked quietly, a small smile starting to bloom on her face.

" I think better than that." the voice said and Hazel slowly turned her head.

" Joe!" Hazel cried, shooting up from her bed to wrap her arms around his neck. She heard Joe laugh in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close. She cuddled her head into his neck, a small smile on her face, as she squeezed her eyes shut. She had missed him more than she thought.

" I missed you Joe." Hazel said quietly so only he could hear. She felt his chest rumble, he chuckled. He smelled like pine, a good pine scent, the one you smelled in winter in the mountains, sorta like when you would get a Christmas tree, and there was that familiar hint of smoke. It was comforting.

" I missed you more, Parker." Joe said and Hazel grinned. Hazel just squeezed him tighter in the hug, he was back and he was here.

THE LIFESIZE HERHSEY BAR I SWEAR I LOVE THIS PART

PARIS

There’s too many good parts in the Paris chapters to even sight, so I’m just going to tell my own view on it, where we finally see Hazel trust Joe enough to tell him about her past, where Joe finally realizes he loves her after the French Aritst drew her and all we see is his interior monlogue of the entire thing of him just straight up ADMIRING her. And Hazel telling Joe about her past, trusting him enough to know, is something VERY important to her and to both of them because Hazel doesn’t tell many people so telling Joe is H U G E. And then of course the Effiel Tower and he helps her DANCE AGAIN because dancing centers around the bad memories of her father who left her and we see Joe really starting to fall in love. AH. It just makes me so so happy to see it and there’s too many adorable things to sight so here’s the chapters:

57 through 58: https://my.w.tt/v6dzKHBML8

Joe Tells George About His Feelings (+Their Underrated Friendship)

I really wanted to bring about the friendship of Joe Liebgott and George Luz, because I feel like they’d be a chaotic duo and writing them is always chaotic and it is HILARIOUS but also full of brotherly love and just Joe telling George about his realization of his feeling for Hazel. We start to see Joe, really starting to get these feelings, but also remembering there is a war on and getting attached could easily get any of them killed in the end, so it’s very much a tough mental battle.

Joe and Hazel Talking About Lieutenant Dike

Honestly these two gossiping about Dike gave me so MUCH LIFE.

" Sergeant Lipton, he told me you had to go on OP duty. Supposedly one's been dug out." he said.

" Sir, what OP, there's multiple." Hazel asked him quickly, confused.

" He said there's one around here." Dike said looking past her and Joe, " I'm not sure, he just told me to find you and that you and Powers I believe are on duty first."

" Yes, sir." Hazel said as Dike nodded and then walked right past them. Hazel and Joe watched side by side as Dike walked away, with the audacity to be whistling as he did so.

" We are in the middle of a fucking war, right?" Joe muttered. Hazel glanced at Joe.

" I don't think he cares." Hazel said. And that wasn't in any way going to be beneficial to the men and women of Easy Company.

" You sure you're staying warm?" Joe asked Hazel as they approached the foxhole where Shifty sat, cleaning his weapon.

" Yeah, of course I am." Hazel said.

" Well, you're tiny, Hazel, and tiny and cold don't exactly mesh if you think of it." Joe said as Hazel smirked. She watched Joe's eyes search hers softly. Joe wished he could do something more to make her warmer, but he could barely maintain 98.6 for himself. She looked like she was freezing.

Hazel Tells Joe About Life After The War For Her

" What's on your mind?" Joe asked her, watching as she glanced towards him and a small laugh escaped her.

" It's stupid, Joe." she said. Joe quirked a smirk her way.

" Really? Try me, Parker." Joe said and Hazel grinned, shrugging.

" I don't know, as a little girl you always think about life when you're older and stuff like that," Hazel said and Joe watched her softly, " I've just been thinking a lot about life, after the war." Joe dropped the smirk and a smile filled his features.

" Just the little things, what I might name my first daughter, or what pictures I might hang up in my living room, just little things like that." Hazel said, with a shrug, a small smile. Joe watched Hazel smile and then loop her fingers together, nodding softly.

" You got a name in mind?" Joe asked her and she glanced towards him, fighting down the tiny blush that was on her cheeks.

" I don't know," she said, a nervous giggle escaping her lips, she never had told anyone she thought about this often.

" Why you nervous, it's just me?" Joe said as she giggled softly again.

" Juliette." Hazel said quietly, with a small nod, before peaking up at Joe who watched her intently, " Not from Romeo and Juliet, but the French way. There was a girl in my elementary school who spelled her name that way and she was always so nice to me. I've always liked the name." Hazel smiled fondly, as if a memory were resurfacing in her brain.

" It's a pretty name." Joe said and Hazel looked up at Joe.

" Yeah," Hazel said," I don't know, it's a unique spelling, I like it." Joe smiled at her, and she smiled brightly back. Even in the cold, she found a way to smile and that warmed his heart because currently she was the only thing making him smile.

ACK MY HEART. but for me this scene I felt was important because even in the middle of the war, Hazel is still thinking about life afterwards and CHILDREN something so innocent, so gentle, so kind, so warm, something to vastly different from that of the horror of the cold and blistery Bastogne. 

Hazel and Joe After the Solo Patrol

" How was it?" Joe asked her, and she glanced up at him. Hazel let out a sigh and shrugged.

" Just seeing his body there," Hazel said shaking her head, " it wasn't what I expected to see. You know, I was just thinking of what his parents are going to think when they get his dog tag." Joe looked at her.

" He was only a year younger than me," Hazel said, shaking her head.

" I know I'm not the most sentimental type, Hazel, but I know when something's bothering you. You know you can talk to me, I am your best friend. I hate to think you'll keep it on your chest," Joe said as he looked her way. Hazel's heart warmed. Hazel smiled at him, and Joe noticed her dimples show up. They always did when she smiled. She curled her knees up to her chest and let out a sigh.

" Thank you, Joe," she said quietly looking at him in the silence of the snow falling outside and hitting the top of the tarp. The two looked at each other, as Hazel's eyes seemed to shine in the night. Hazel gently took his hand in hers and began gently curling and uncurling his fingers. Joe watched her, his heart pounding faster and faster by the second and she didn't even know.

" You're still wearing this?" she said with a slight giggle, touching the bracelet she had given Joe, which lay on his wrist.

" Of course I am," Joe said, as he watched Hazel smile.

" You just have a little piece of me," she said, her fingers like ice on his skin, and Joe watched her smile. Then she looked up at him and her smile grew, like a child in a candy store.

THIS!! They can have a very REAL conversation about life, but then can easily make each other feel so much better with just a few words, even just a look, they just know how to make one another feel better, to keep humanity around, something the war deprives them of.

Chrismtas 1944 -> Singing

I wanted to make a scene on Christmas Day 1944, where we see the group have a bit of humanity, singing Christmas songs in the snow, a bit of that realness, that human like atmosphere or Christmas that they all miss still very real and very prevalent in most cases. 

" Sleigh bells ring, are you listening..." George sang joyfully, wrapping his arm around Bill's shoulder, before poking Bill's ear. Bill swatted at his hand as George chuckled.

" In the lane snow is glistening, a beautiful sight we're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland..." Bill sang and George gave a whoop. Hazel laughed lightly before looking back at Joe.

" What?" she said softly, reaching forward to tilt his helmet up from his dark eyes.

" Happy looks good on you." he said with a small smile. Hazel blushed and thanked God for the darkness that night provided. Thank God for the darkness.

" Joe..." she whispered.

" I'm serious, you've been through a lot, and seeing you happy, it's a nice sight to see." he whispered softly to her. Hazel let out a tiny giggle, looking down at her hands, before looking back up at Joe. He was smiling.

IT JUST MAKES ME SOFT OKAY I NEEDED THIS AFTER ALL THAT ANGST :(((

Joe Comes Back From Being Winters’ Runner

This scene centers heavily on Joe coming back from being Winters’ Runner at Battalion for a few days, but eventually was sent back to the company because of the way he was with prisoners, but it is between him and Hazel. And normally Joe’s this soft sorta guy around her, but when he approaches her, he’s glum, and dealing with a lot of emotions of anger and hate. And Hazel doesn’t tell him “Joe, you have to be happier.” No, she tells him straight up, that it is okay to feel those things and in time you will get better, but those sad feelings are okay, and I feel that was important between them and for Joe to hear from Hazel, for her to tell him, it is okay to feel things, those sort of emotions. But by the end, we see him lighten up a bit, because I mean Joe with Hazel? He can’t help but soften up. 

" It's okay to feel that, I feel it too," she said softly rubbing his arm," your emotions, they're important, it's okay to feel that way." God, Hazel made him so happy, even with just a sentence like that.

" I don't think I've told you thank you enough," Joe said glancing at her. She quirked an innocent brow.

" Just, you're always there for me and my bullshit," Joe said shrugging as she smiled.

" And you're there for mine." she said with a toothy smile from under the brim of her helmet. Joe's heart warmed.

Quiet Comfort

That night, at the dinner line, it was so quiet. Catherine didn't show up for dinner. Hazel and Lizzie were there, but they were so quiet and closed off, that they could barely talk with tear filled eyes, and red, blood-shot eyes. Joe Liebgott sat next to Hazel that night, on the log from earlier that afternoon, as she pushed the food around in the tin. Joe could see her holding back her trembling lip, as well as the tears that wanted to fall from her eyes. So Joe decided to sit beside her and eat quietly, and not say anything. Hazel needed him to know that she appreciated him just sitting there, without saying a word. She slowly reached forward, and grabbed his hand with her gloved one without even making eye contact. She interlaced their fingers, sucking in a shaking breath as she did so. Her hand was cold in his own warm one, but Joe knew it meant the world to Hazel. Joe knew that as thanks from her, especially right now.

To Hazel, Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye meant the world to her; they were like big brothers, always looking out for her, protecting her, defending her, comforting her, just there for her, so she’s hurt after they get wounded, and Joe knows that he just has to sit by her side and not say a word to let her know that he’s there. 

Joe And Hazel Talk About The Stars and Sadness

THIS SCENE IT IS SO UNGODLY IMPORTANT FOR BOTH OF THEM - for Joe to come and see Hazel upset and ultimately comfort her and let her know that he’s there for her, it just ACK. 

" I'm sorry your sad, Hazel," Joe whispered beside her and she looked at him, " I wish there was something I could do to take it away." Hazel watched his eyes search hers and smiled gently; she knew he was truthful in his words. Joe Liebgott was always truthful to her, no matter what, they were best friends.

" Can you just stay here with me?" she whispered softly, as her eyes welled with more tears.

" Yeah," Joe said immediately, a small smile on his face, " of course, what type of best friend would I be?" Hazel let out a slight giggle that settled Joe for the moment. Joe gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she rested her weary head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes. Joe brought her as close as he could, her tiny body, shaking in his grasp as she lay there so quietly.

" I'm glad we're friends you know? Best friends?" Joe said quietly, " Remember I told you how fascinating it was to see your love for the stars? Or how caring and kind you were to everyone and how strong you were?" Hazel gently looked up to meet his eyes with her own and she smiled softly at him.

" How'd I get so lucky to have a friend like you?" Joe said to her and Hazel felt more tears rush to her eyes as she watched him, his face turning blurry from the tears.

" Do you want to tell me about the stars?" he whispered softly, brushing a stray tear from her cheek that trailed down from her sad, blue eyes.

" Yes," she whispered softly watching him and she saw him smile.

" Alright, get comfy," Joe said as she giggled a bit cuddling into his side, and they looked up towards the gleaming stars.

" I'm excited," he whispered as if he were a kid about to watch a movie and Hazel giggled.

Okay so this scene is actually much longer but I wanted to show Joe’s comfort levels from letting her know she’s there, making her feel better, staying with her to comfort her, to hold her, just let her feel safe finally, that sort of thing, and letting her talk about whatever she wants and then ultimately being the most patient listener and it makes me S O F T AHHHHHH I swear these two ruin me.

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I AM SORRY THIS IS AS LONG AS IT IS O M G i promise to control myself, but i was like screw it i love these two so much and they deserve this post :) i hope this works!! but i’ll be happy to do ad astra, as i’ve said, because i didn’t realize how long just the soldier of stars would be OMG LOL!! i had so much fun because i relived so many adorable moments that i forgot happened and i can’t thank you enoguh for this post on my little, innocent babies who deserve happiness and the world ;) thank you so so much, truly!! <3

[lost-your-memory]

NASCAR anon here with another prompt, if I may. I need Military!Kara So like Kara's in the army and has her bomb dog kyrpto, she goes MIA. Kyrpto is sent home to cat and Carter. Carter is like super attached to this dog, and then they want to try and take him away. Cat won't allow that. Cue like 2 months of of fighting with lawyers and one day kyrpto is acting super weird, non stop barking. She lets him out and the barking stops. She looks out and it's Kara, cuddling him. Fluffy reunions

Hi NASCAR anon! I hope this will please you, I am not quite happy with it but I can’t seem to find another way around it so … (I apologize for any mistake in there, it’s raw and I will probably have to submit it to a beta if I have to post it on AO3)Here, have some angst with a happy ending!

“Mom, come on, we need to get going now!”

Carter Grant, already dressed up and closing his fancy winter coat up to his chin, is frowning at his mother and there is a disapproving scowl etched upon his childish features.His mother, clad in a pair of casual but designer denim jeans and a floating, dark grey cashmere sweater, simply smiles sweetly at him before focusing back on her fashion dilemma. She’s standing in front of a closet, inside of which there are shelves and shelves full of shoes on display.“Can’t you just like, grab one pair and then we can go?” Carter asks, already sounding defeated because he knows, better than anyone else, that Cat Grant will never do just that. The glare his mother throws at him from above her shoulder only confirms it.“We are going to be late.” He sighs and then lets himself fall backward on the queen-sized mattress of his mother’s bed.“Stop sighing and whining around, Sweetheart. We are not going to be late, we still have plenty of time. Her plane doesn’t land for another three hours and we do not need to wait in a crowded airport in the meantime.” His mother retorts with another meaningful glare but he sees sparkles of gold flicker in her green eyes, a tell-tale of impatience and anticipation.“Fine. Fine.” He relents, trying his best not to sigh. He takes off his winter coat and then approaches the shoes closet, coming to a stop next to his mother.He smiles at the memories flooding his mind when he considers the many, many shelves of shoes. He can practically name the creator and the collection for each single pair, with an approximate date of creation or first exhibition.“Need a hand mom?” He asks with a smile and she simply nods.He notices she’s smiling too.

—“Mom, can you tell me again the story of how you met her?” Carter asks as they wait in the appropriate terminal, at the far east of National City’s airport.He’s never been really comfortable being surrounded by so many people, especially not strangers and even if he’s impatient and excited, he can feel the anxiety bubbling in his stomach and tingling underneath his fingertips.His mother’s voice is one of the few things able to sooth him and he’s always loved that particular story.They’re sitting next to each other and he can see the smile that tugs at the corners of his mother’s lips as she slowly turns a page of her magazine. It’s the latest issue of CatCo and Carter recognizes the woman on the cover as Lena Luthor, the newly appointed CEO of L-Corp.It’s a company he’s following with a great interest, ever since it drove Lord Technologies to declare bankruptcy.“You know the story better than me by now, Carter, but sure.” She starts, closing the magazine and turning to face her son. She’s smiling now and it grounds him to reality because it’s soft and tender. It’s everything he needs at the moment.“It was about seven years ago and it was in April, so a little before your sixth birthday. I was coming back from CatCo France and I was stuck in New York because the correspondence flight got severely delayed and wouldn’t take off until the next day. Here I was, in the middle of the airport, trying to order a car to take me to a hotel at least. when something crashed, and I mean crashed, into my legs. I looked down and there was a puppy, an actual puppy trying to stand up between my feet. I remember, I thought it was surreal and it looked so fluffy, with the floppy ears and huge brown eyes …” Cat tells with a fond smile on her lips.Carter smiles and then nods slightly, inviting his mother to keep talking.“I stared at the little animal for a good five minutes before I finally heard the voice of a woman, apologizing profusely and trying to call the puppy back. It was only then that I looked up and I saw a woman looking very sheepish and embarrassed, with a blue leash in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. I stared at her too, I remember. She was wearing an oversized bright and flashy red hoodie that hurt my eyes at the time, matching shoes and a pair of worn out blue-jeans. She was pretty though, in a natural and simple way, with her deep blue eyes and light brown hair with golden strands. She apologized and apologized and I think I snapped at her to stop doing that. She looked so offended and sad, it was like I had kicked the puppy itself. I don’t know why but I immediately felt guilty and I apologized. I explained I was coming back from France and that I was exhausted and she just smiled and waved the apology off. Her smile was … “ Cat’s voice trails off a little and she looks thoughtful for a while. Carter knows she’s looking for a new way to describe the smile, because she’s never pleased with the way she does it, every time.“It was like coming home, actually.” Cat whispers and Carter arches a surprised brow because this one is new. It feels incredibly right though, he thinks as he watches the smile on his mother’s lips become softer and softer and softer. He smiles too.“I don’t remember much of what we talked about, it’s a shame really. I just know that I learned the puppy’s name, Krypto, that day. She might have more memories, you’ll have to ask her. I just know that she stayed with me when I was waiting for the car and once it was there and my luggages were loaded in the boot, she stammered and stuttered to ask for my number. I didn’t even know her name at the time, she was just a nice stranger with a cute little puppy that kept me company for a while. I acted on impulse and I gave her my number.” Cat smirks and Carter knows it’s because she’s reliving the nervous way the woman asked for her number.It’s still a joke today, amongst them.Cat is about to continue her story when the speakers suddenly come alive. A scrambled electronic voice announces that the flight they are waiting for is finally landing and the passengers should be getting out in about fifteen minutes.“About time.” Carter mumbles but then, the movements around him, strangers moving, chatting and shuffling closer to the seats, makes him even more uneasy than he previously was.“She didn’t call for a few days and by that time, I was already back in National City.” Cat starts again, her voice soft and gentle, calm. Carter immediately focuses on it.“She called me on a Friday night. I picked up and that’s how I learned her name. She introduced herself as Kara, owner of a very young and still untrained puppy that has a tendency to go crash himself in the legs of pretty women. I was so surprised to hear from her, I actually laughed at this very bad pickup line. We ended up talking for almost the whole night, it was 5am when she hung up. You know how much I hate small talk and long useless conversations but I found that it was so easy to talk with this stranger I only met once …” Cat smiles again at the memory, all the while glancing towards the gates that will soon open to let out the passengers of the flight.“It took a month of those calls for me to find out about her profession. She told me, when I asked her. She explained that she was a member of the army and more specifically a soldier in a bomb squad that specializes in finding and dismantling or getting rid of the bombs. She was mostly in the research team though and she had just received the dog she would use for her future missions. She needed to train the dog and so she was staying in the country. It was pure luck she was stationed in Fort Rozz, just outside of National City …” Cat explains with a slight frown between her eyes.He wants to ask why she looks a little upset but then he hears a joyful bark and his head snaps up towards the source of the noise.“KRYPTOOOOO!” He yells as he gets up and runs to meet the dog halfway, not caring about the strangers surrounding him anymore.It’s a happy reunion between a young boy in winter attire with unruly light-brown curls and a muscular, athletic Belgian shepherd that yaps and wags his tail to show his happiness and excitement.Cat looks at her son and the dog for a while, a soft smile on her lips but then her eyes are wandering across the crowd that floods out of the gates.She’s searching for someone and her heart is racing faster inside her chest with each passing face that isn’t the one she wants to see.Finally, she falls into a pair of deep, deep blue eyes that sparkle with love and joy and she feels whole again.It’s like coming home.—“Babe, Lucy is asking if she can come over for dinner tomorrow night, do we have any plans?” Kara asks with a smile as she enters the kitchen, where Cat and Carter are making dinner.“No, we don’t have anything planned, and of course she’s always welcome here! We could invite your sister and Maggie over too?” Cat replies with a nod, pushing the vegetables in the pan, and stirring slowly to make sure it doesn’t burn.“That’s an excellent idea! I’m going to call them, see if they’re free. Winn can’t make it, he apparently found himself a girlfriend and he’s still in his honeymoon phase …” Kara explains, sitting on a stool at the counter island. She pulls out the phone and presses a button before saying “Luce, you’re on speaker, Cat and Carter are here too!”“Hi Luce!” Carter happily greets her. There’s a laugh coming from the cellphone and then Luce’s voice answers “Hi buddy! Hello Cat, how’s life at the Grant’s palace?”Cat shakes her head and rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling and Carter just shrugs.“The Lane manor isn’t too bad itself, you know.” He answers with a knowing smirk and Kara chuckles.“Ah well, it’s actually haunted by a pregnant Lois and let me tell you, it’s SCARY.” Lucy answers and there’s another voice that joins her.“Hi guys, do you mind if I tag along tomorrow too?”“SUSAN! I didn’t know you were back! Of course, please do come! The more the merrier!” Kara answers and she talks too fast, like she does when she’s over enthusiastic about something. Carter just smiles happily and Cat looks at them with fondness.There is no place like home.—“Sergeant Astra has such high-standards, it’s exhausting seriously.” Lucy says, a glass of red wine in her left hand and the right one sitting atop of Susan’s thigh.“Yeah but it’s totally worth it, she’s the best mentor we could hope for.” Alex answers, from the armchair across the couch where Lucy and Susan are seated next to each other. Maggie is on the floor next to Alex’s legs and she’s playing with Krypto.Kara, curled against the other angle of the couch, chimes in. “Yeah, I’m glad she took over after your dad’s retirement, Luce. I know he’s your dad and all, but man, he was an ASS with the new recruits, especially the women.”“Oh, I know, I know. Why do you think Lois left the army without finishing her training? She was way too rebellious to accept the way he was treating her and frankly, I have no idea how I managed to endure it.” Lucy answers with a disgusted face. Susan simply smirks, but she doesn’t chime in.It’s Cat, who’s sitting on the other armchair, near Kara, who jumps in.“Your sister was and still is a stubborn asshole, though. I can’t wait to see how motherhood will hit her.” There’s a smirk on her lips, a rather nasty one and Lucy chuckles.“I can’t believe Kara managed to fall in love with the only person on this earth Lois was unable to tame.” Lucy jokes and Kara smirks.She looks at Cat and it’s soft and pure when she simply answers “I just did and I still do. Fall in love with her, I mean.”Cat’s smile lights up the room and she leans over to kiss Kara, with love and passion.A collective aww echoes in the background.—Krypto is running after a Frisbee, the snow barely crisping under his paws.He’s exhaling condensation, like the rest of the humans around.Carter, wearing his winter coat, a thick scarf and a pair of warm gloves, is waiting for the dog to return with the toy and a little behind him, Cat and Kara are standing next to each other, both holding a to-go cup from Noonan’s.“Come on buddy, bring it!” Carter yells to the dog and Krypto jumps to catch the Frisbee mid-flight. He misses a beat and falls back on the back in the snow but he doesn’t seem to mind, already finding back his balance to come running back to Carter.“Good boy!” Carter pets him with a laugh and then he throws the Frisbee again, watching Krypto dart after it.Kara’s smile is wide and soft, full of love as she watches the happiness clearly etched across Carter’s face. He’s smiling and despite his pink cheeks and red nose, he doesn’t seem to notice the cold, too engrossed in his game with the animal.“Krypto truly brings him out of his shell, it’s becoming more obvious with each passing year now.” Cat comments and the smile on her lips is matching Kara’s.“How is he doing? He didn’t want to talk to me about school and I … I didn’t push.” Kara says softly and there’s a sad edge to her question. Insecurities, doubts and regrets are spinning in a never ending loop in her ocean blue eyes and even though she’s looking straight ahead, Cat sees it.She understands.Kara’s a soldier and she’s more often absent than not, Cat had made peace with it a long time ago. It doesn’t make things easier, not by far, but she’s at peace with the fact Kara comes and goes with the missions she gets. She has learned to live with Kara’s absences.Carter never really did get used to it and it’s still a very sensitive spot for him. He isn’t trying to be mean to Kara, but he often refuses to share things with her that could, from his childish point of view, alter their already too rare quality time.“He’s doing great. He’s still struggling with his social skills, not having many friends and preferring to spend his time alone, but from a scholar point of view, he’s a true genius.” Cat informs, slipping her free hand into Kara’s pocket to entwine their gloved fingers.“You’re not telling me everything.” Kara simply states and Cat sighs. She’s hoped she could avoid this talk, but she should have known it was impossible. Kara had some kind of super sense to detect lies, half-truths or untold information.“He got into a fight, a few months back. A bully messed with him, telling him mean things about … about us.” Cat cautiously explains and she doesn’t need to elaborate because the look on Kara’s face tells her she knows exactly what kind of insults had been said.“I grounded him but he was quiet for almost two weeks after that. Really quiet, only saying hello and goodbye and only out of good education, I assume. He came to me eventually, explaining everything and apologizing but … I think this would have been better handled by you.” Cat ends with a soft sigh and she sees Kara clench her jaw.She knows Kara is often dealing with the guilt of imposing her military life on them, on Carter especially. She knows the soldier is torn apart between her love for her family and her love for her country, for the army, for everything it represents to her. She loves the fact Kara doesn’t take them for granted, always working hard to show her love and devotion, but in the end, duty calls and she goes away, again.Carter hates it.He straight out hates it and he often refuses to come with them to the airport whenever Kara needs to take off to another dangerous country.“Moooom look!” Carter calls and they both focus on him. He’s holding the Frisbee up in the air and spinning on himself, Krypto raised on his rear legs and following the movement. They look like they are slowly dancing.It makes the two women laugh.Life looks easy.—“You’re leaving soon.” Cat whispers in the darkness of their bedroom, curled against Kara’s naked flank. It’s not a question, she just knows it.Kara never sleeps when she knows she has to announce that she’s going away soon.It’s a fact Cat has learned pretty soon in their relationship.She’s fallen in love with that girl so fast, so hard and every time Kara got called to another dark and dangerous country, it feels like someone is ripping her heart out of her chest to slowly, ever-so-slowly, crush it. She used to have panic attacks, on the nights before Kara’s departure.Nowadays, she’s dealing a little better, but she still feels like her life is put on hold until Kara comes home.When she’s first learned Kara’s profession, she thought it was a no-go, but then, the girl climbed all the walls she had carefully put up to protect her heart, one by one. Kara’s worked all the way to Cat’s very soul and Cat just fell in love.“I’m sorry.” Kara whispers and Cat feels the breath of the words against her shoulder. She swallows thickly, but doesn’t answer.She can’t tell Kara it’s okay, because it never is.Kara knows.—Carter doesn’t come with them to the airport, but he throws a temper tantrum when Kara and Krypto have to leave. Kara calls Alex, who agrees to come and watch over Carter for as long as it’s needed.In the terminal, Cat is silent and Kara doesn’t speak either. She never lets go of Cat’s hand though, and Cat clings to it without hesitation.The hug after the last call is heavy and bittersweet, but Cat lets Kara go anyway.National City doesn’t feel like home anymore.—She knows something is wrong before she can even reach the door.It’s a feeling, something that surges in her and suddenly, all she can feel is cold. Everything is cold, like a sheath of ice forming around her heart and she swallows, thickly.When she does open the door, she sees Lucy Lane, in her full Major uniform, and she meets her incredible green eyes and oh.The chagrin spinning in there tells her everything she doesn’t want to know. It’s regrets and horror and it’s loss. So much loss, with the sparkle of steel determination of someone who has to deliver the bad news.It’s her worst nightmare and it’s the very end of her world.She then notices the dog laying at the Major’s feet, the sad and lost brown eyes, the not so shiny fur and the absence of reaction whatsoever.She screams.

—

Krypto sleeps on Carter’s bed.Every day, every night, he just sleeps at the end of the teenager’s bed and he doesn’t really move.He barely eats, he barely drinks and he’s just like the rest of the house.They’re all dealing with the loss of Kara, reported MIA during an exploratory mission in Syria. Lucy explained what had happened to Alex and Cat.A routine mission, she said. Something so normal, it was supposed to be safe, more of an exercise than anything.Kara had been investigating a building, a village house in a block far away from the sensitive zone. Lucy had seen the house blow up before her eyes. She had been there the whole time, she’s been the one to retrieve a wounded Krypto from the ruins, but then, the enemy was on them and they had to retreat. There was no way, no way Kara could have survived.Cat blames Lucy for not getting at least Kara’s body, for them to have some kind of closure.Lucy takes the blame without even trying to explain, eaten alive by her own guilt.Alex comes in, twice a day, to take Krypto out for a walk and it’s as lifeless as it can be.Cat and Alex try to sometimes talk but the grief and despair weight too heavy in the air, it chokes them and they quickly retreat into the familiar silence.Carter doesn’t talk anymore.At all.He wakes up, dresses, goes to school, but he doesn’t talk. When his teachers ask something, he doesn’t answer. He does his homework and he still jots down his classes, but he just doesn’t speak. Ever.The only interaction he allows himself is for when he needs to call the dog.He goes with Alex for the walks, but every time Cat asks, Alex shakes her head no.No, Carter didn’t say anything.Their home is broken.—When three soldiers come to her house, a month and a half later, she thinks they finally found Kara’s body.They didn’t.They’re here to take Krypto, they say he needs to get back to work. They are talking of finding him a new owner.Carter screams and it’s the first time he opens his mouth for anything other than to call Krypto. He just screams and he does it until his voice breaks in his throat. Cat can’t calm him. Alex tries and fails too. It’s only when Krypto comes to put his head on Carter’s lap that the teenager stops screaming.Cat fights, tooth and nails, to keep the dog.She hires an army of lawyers to fight the suit the army dropped on her.Stealing of army property, the official paper says and she rips it in a half the first time, out of pure rage.It lasts four months and the army doesn’t back off.Krypto is the last remnant of what was once their home.She’s never going to let go of him.—Six months after Kara’s disappearance, Carter still doesn’t speak and his teachers are starting to think he’s never going to do it again.Cat thinks it’s highly probable and she doesn’t know what to do.Everything fell apart when Kara disappeared.They don’t see any visitors anymore.Alex still comes twice a day, but it’s so usual now, it’s part of their broken routine. Lucy returned to the front and she sometimes sends a letter, but Cat and Carter never answer. Winn came by, once or twice, but the grief drove him away and he went to France to build another tech company.Lois Lane came once, with her newborn daughter and Cat only told her to go away. She still can’t deal with a Lane, any Lane. Lois did as she was told, for once, and without any fuss.Krypto is still with them, the shadow of the dog he used to be. It breaks Cat, who remembers the puppy that crashed into her legs, almost eight years ago.She thinks she’s never going to feel at home ever again.—Then eight months after Kara’s disappearance, it’s the middle of the summer break when Alex calls to say she won’t be able to take Krypto for a walk at the end of the day. She doesn’t say why, but Cat suspects it’s because Maggie found out about Alex’s relapse into the bottle and she’s going to start the program again.She takes Carter and Krypto to the park, around 5pm.Krypto listens to Carter like he used to listen to Kara and it offers her a little comfort. Carter sighs and throws the Frisbee again, watching as the dog goes to retrieve it. It lacks enthusiasm, on both parts, but Cat takes it as a sign of hope. She has to cling to whatever she can.She’s looking at her son, her heart breaking all over again, when suddenly, Krypto barks.Loudly.Then he darts towards the end of the park.Carter looks at his mother, taken aback by this sudden behavior. Cat looks back at him, equally shocked.It’s only when she sees a golden strand of hair catch a sunbeam that she begins to understand.Her heart, dormant for so long, races inside of her chest and hope is flooding her by waves, it’s brutal, it’s intense and she swallows because she can’t allow herself to trust what her eyes see.It’s an illusion, it can’t be true.But then, there are two deep, deep blue eyes staring at her from all the way across the park and she sees a smile that feels like …Coming home.—Kara Danvers is alive and slowly, ever so slowly, starting to get used to the feeling again.Cat clings to her at night, when they’re alone in their bed. She often wakes up in a jolt, terrorized that it was all a dream, but then strong arms are holding her tight and she allows herself to break and cry. It’s Kara’s strong heartbeat that lulls her to sleep, every night.Carter starts talking again. It’s slow and he needs help, but Kara is there every step of the way. She’s not treating him like he’s sick, she’s acting with him like she always did and it takes months, but in the end, he finally becomes whole again.Then one day, he just calls her Mum, in the middle of a conversation, easily. It makes Cat and Kara cry, but it’s from happiness and emotion. Those are good tears.They fight like hell the day Kara announces she wants to return to the army.In the end, they work out a compromise and Kara becomes a teacher for the canine squad, forming trainees to do the job she used to do. It’s still in the army, but it’s in Fort Rozz and she’s home every night.Alex proposes to Maggie about one year after Kara’s return.—“What do you want, big boy?” Cat asks with a smile as she feels Krypto jump on the couch besides her. She used to groan about the dog getting on her expensive furniture, but when Kara was MIA, she had welcomed the company, she had even needed it and now it was too late.He looks at her with his expressive brown eyes and she sees a small box in his mouth.Curious, she holds her hand for him to drop the little box and she makes a face when it comes off with a little drool on it.“Ew, Krypto!” She scowls at him, but he just tilts his head and one of his ears breaks, it gives him a funny look. She smiles and shakes her head again before opening the box.She gapes at the sight of the ring inside, a perfectly simple silver band with a little green diamond atop of it.“Catherine Jane Grant, will you marry me?” Kara’s voice chimes in and Cat looks up to see Kara kneel in front of her, gently taking the box out of her hands.Cat feels tears fall from her eyes, but her voice is firm and incredibly sure when she just answers,“I do.”When Kara puts the ring on her finger and kisses her as if the world was about to die, she thinks she will never feel more at home.

THE END 

[maxbronte]

▤[grey]

SEND ONE FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION // STILL ACCEPTING.prompt.  ▤  :   f a l l i n g   a s l e e p   o n   t h e m .set. one week after Ruby gave him his iPhone, one week before the Gaslit Reunion & Winter Formal, one morning before Max’s google search of Grey’s story.disclaimer. permission HAS been granted from Blythe for the godmodding in this post.

                                                       -☸-

    The smell of carnations starts to remind her of the smell of her old corsage, which reminds her of the smell of sweat and adrenaline, which reminds her of the smell of a lover’s dead body, just settling into rigor mortis. And they’re everywhere. Everywhere she goes, she finds them– they find her; they’re on all edges of campus like cold steel prison bars caging her into a traumatic cycle and she just wants out already. 

     Solution: maybe tell the police or someone about this situation. No, no, that won’t do. That would require formally accepting reality. Solution: go to sleep and ignore it. Tried it. She can’t sleep knowing that some kooky prankster keeps finding a way into her room at night. Solution: Leave campus. This is not a permanent fix. She can’t leave forever. But temporary escapism gives her an immediate comfort and she’s too miserable right now to care about what it means for the longrun.

     Besides, she already knows a foolproof place to go to clear her head. Max has been trying to take a trip to the nearest pier since her parents first confirmed her authorization to drive off campus. But Sid won’t come, too sour to indulge her, tells her to “get out of here with that white girl shit.” And she wouldn’t invite Ruby– Max is too embarrassed to ask her, needs to keep up her non-sentimental partygirl cool. And she doesn’t want to invite Mitch– docks are too special for her to share with him. And maybe she’d call Cypress if she didn’t recently come to the realization that Cypress totally sucks.

     She’s still determined to go despite lack of a date, but survival instinct says she needs to take someone to talk to so she won’t fall asleep at the wheel– because, as disappointing as her life’s production may be, she refuses to willingly walk out of the theater before the final scene. Lucky for Max, she may not have to call curtains on this trip just yet. She has one fail-safe dark horse in her contacts list.

    Gʀᴇʏ ᴄᴀᴠᴇʀʟy is the one masochist out there with that perfectly specific blend of boredom and free time necessary to humor her company every so often. He has the offbeat sense of “adventure” to entertain a high-maintenance space-case’s antics, but enough common sense not to get emotionally invested. And hassling him to go on a road trip at this hour may very well be the third strike he needs to stop talking to her entirely, but she’s willing to take the chance– best to lose him sooner rather than later, for her as someone with much less of the common sense needed not stunt emotional investment.

                                                       -☸-

[one-missed-call-two-missed-calls-three-missed-calls from Miss Maxine at 5:09am.]

Miss Maxine [5:11am]: 📣📣 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥, 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙙Miss Maxine [5:11am]:𝙬𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡Miss Maxine [5:12am]: 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙡𝙮 🌅 

[seen by 👽Scary Pixie Dream Boy 🌚 at 5:20am.]

                                                       -☸-

    Max heads out early early to load the car up with blankets & trail mix & two thermoses of her favorite peppermint espresso, but the  f a k e  c h e e r  she worked so hard to muster completely DROPS when she finds putrid red carnations in her glove compartment and littering the gas pedal floor. She picks out every stray petal one by one, stomps them into the parking lot asphalt, opens a new pine air freshener to drown the faint and maddening smell out of her car before he meets her there at the negotiated time of 6 am.

     She regains her cool as Grey meets her Jetta for the first time, and then Max explains that when she said ‘raise hell,’ she meant that they were going to watch a terrific ball of flaming hell rip the night sky open and rise to the top-center of the earth, and she hoped he would be too tired to realize that this was her way of trying to make ‘watching the sunrise’ sound hardcore. As her luck would have it, Grey’s just as sharp-witted and wise-assed in the early morning– calls her right out on her underwhelming plan of action. But that sure doesn’t stop him from hopping in shotgun.

     ( Suddenly she’s not faking the cheer anymore. )

     They tell the guard in the parking lot security booth they’re going out for coffee and bagels before classes start. Handheld GPSes are tossed to the backseat. Max says they’re navigating this trip the old fashion way, says it’s become tradition since their first meeting that they don’t keep their phones on hand when they’re together. She’s really saying this because she’s desperate to get off the grid and escape reality with him, but she makes it sound like this is a playful boho thing when she insists he keep his phone off and read the map to her.

     Eugene’s about an hour away from the Pacific. With the combined sense of direction of a serial wanderer and a Sagittarius, it takes about an hour-forty-five to get to the nearest pier. In sleepy delirium Max cruises right through every other stop sign, and Grey waits every time to see how long it takes her to realize she did it and break into a fit of whoops-a-daisy giggles. He has to make his usual crack about her fatality rate, of course, and say that at least there’s nobody else stupid enough to be on the road at this hour.

     Between her wrong turns and his insistence that they take a detour down every cool-looking road in Oregon, there’s a high chance they won’t make it down the docks by sunrise, and there’s definitely no way they’re going to make it back to campus in time for first period. The former potential valedictorian in her is screaming, but Max can’t hear her over the sound of the terrible Dad pop-rock blasting through the stereo. She’s sure Grey will be DEVASTATED about missing french class with his very favorite teacher, but she swears that the euphoria of his first time watching the sunrise on a port is going to make up for it.

     They miraculously make it to the beach when their antsy sun is just peeping and they make a mad dash to get to the coveted VIP seats before they miss any more crucial sunrise action. Grey’s legs are longer, and it’s hard for her to run while wrapped up in blankets to protect her from the cold, but when that salty sea smell splashes against her face she forgets what carnations even smell like, and suddenly she has the burst of energy she needs to outrun him and lead the way to the very end of the dock.

     They station themselves hurriedly but efficiently, with two blankets each, feet kicking off the edge, sat just close enough to share platonic body heat only, bag o’ trail mix locked into position in the space between their thighs, faces huddled over their espressos with way too much cream and not nearly enough of the caffeine required for this adventure, but every factor of this situation combined makes Max feel alive for the first time since she died. There’s nothing on this pier but them and the view, and in a way that only seems to happen in Grey’s presence, time stands still, and all day-to-day weights and permanent baggage feel suspended. She’s free– and happy. Too happy to remember that they’re both exhausted in every physical and spiritual sense of the word.

     In bliss, she gets to talking about how long it’s been since she’s done this, and then she starts yapping about anything else that comes to mind here. She reminisces about the days when her life was low-tide tranquil, tells him childhood stories no one in the world could possibly care about– about how she used to go fishing with her dad every Saturday morning, except then they had to stop when she became a vegetarian in the sixth grade and felt too bad for the fish, so then they would go for strolls along the shore and pick up sea glass, and sometimes she would take her cat for walks on the docks at sunset, and everyone thought it was so silly, because you don’t walk a cat, but Max’s cat is so special and didn’t even need a leash, and Max thought she was so special when she would sneak out at night to have bonfires in the dirt clearing of the woods by the port, and one night they took her friend’s dad’s boat out, and that’s when she decided she wants to get a compass tattoo right here on her hip so you can see it when she’s wearing a bikini… and this goes on and on, and Grey– ever the trooper– does an incredible job acting like he doesn’t want to push her into the icy water to make her top.

     Eventually she quiets down on her own and lets him take in the real ambiance they came here for: tranquilizing water and fiery pastel glows creeping across the sky. …All in all, it’s probably not that fantastic to a guy like Grey; it’s nothing the world hasn’t seen on every preset computer desktop wallpaper or in the uninspired paintings cluttering every rich white aunt’s walls. It’s just a sunrise. It happens everyday. The mysticism is in the eye of the beholder, and maybe Max’s eyes only finds it fascinating because her life has always been so equally uninteresting.

     But the boy next to her– he seems too rock and roll for this. He’s the boy who raises his own hell as opposed to watching it. He’s the world wonder that’s waking up in wild places and droppin water balloons off of the school roof. He’s his own sunset. And when he can’t stifle his yawns anymore, Max wonders if the whole trip she spent hyping the Great Pacific Northwest Aurora may have doomed him for disappointment. Her eyes sink low in shame, but light right back up when she catches glimpse of a JELLYFISH close to the surface of the water on her side of the dock, and she grabs his arm with a gasp.

                                                        “ Look at this cute jelly !! ”

     Max doesn’t turn to face him, because her eyes are fixated on this stupid sea-bag like it’s the most incredible thing she’s ever seen and the very spectacle of it is going to make the last agonizing three hours he’s spent with her all worthwhile. Grey leans into her to get a closer look without having to move– rests his chin on her shoulder. She starts listing off jellyfish trivia to keep him interested, and then she explains that she knows this stuff because she did a research paper on jellyfish once, but she doesn’t know why she picked jellyfish because her favorite animals are seahorses… And then she stops herself before she rambles again; she takes a pause and gives him the opening for a sly dig at her motor mouth or jelly-themed quip. She listens for it, but all she hears is a light nasally hum.

     The  boy  is  s n o o z i n g .

     …Well, maybe he’s earned it, after suffering her all morning. And they’re already showing up late to class– they may as well hang out here until they’re sure the same security guard won’t be at the post to ask what took them so long. So she turns her body forward and makes sure his head tilts out to face the water straight in front of them, slooowly readjusts the blankets until they’re tucked in as one unified burrito with windchill protection on all sides, and she even lets Sleeping Beauty continue using her shoulder as a pillow, on the condition that she can lean her own head on his in return.

     She soaks in this position for a while, listening to his little hum harmonize with the rustle of tiny waves as high tide comes in, and it’s so peaceful, it’s so peaceful, she’s not thinking about stalkers or death here. She’s not thinking about anything but the way the movement their breathing chests are so in sync with the still water’s gentle sway, and how their bodies fit together so organically even when they just fell into each other so thoughtlessly.

     And then she thinks: this is how lovebirds cuddle. 

     Not Valentine’s Day lovebirds, but literal, winged lovebirds. Like the pair in Hitchcock’s The Birds. –-Intrusive thoughts like this one, comparing her life to horror flicks, are always daunting her peace of mind, but she’s okay with this one. In the movie, the two lovebirds are the only living creatures that inexplicably manage to stay sane while the whole world around them, human and avian, goes berserk.

     ( Maybe because they had each other to weather the entropy together. )

     When the sunlight comes in full, Max can see her breath dancing with Grey’s in the icy December air, but she feels snug and toasty. It’s like in this place all their own, they are without bother, discomfort, inhibition. No creeps or killers or pasts or futures can come hurt them in this haven. And now she finally falls asleep, with cheek nestled into a pillow of fluffy hair.

     They’re safe here.

[inspirationallyinsane]

November 28 2019

Tumblr! Hi. It has been too long since I have written, and much has changed. I figured today might be a good day for an update considering it is a holiday and also I had the day off work :) I quit my job at Chase because fuck that place. Um no not really but I was really unhappy there and I didn't get along with my coworkers and my manager was a mysoginistic asshole. It wasn't a great environment. I was up for promotion there but Skyler told me I would have to wait until January to get it and I am absolutely not that patient. Especially when, once again, I am the only banker in my branch. I was doing the job of the RB without having the proper compensation or title. They sent me all the way to Phoenix, AZ to get training so I could be put in the position faster and then I'm told to wait months? I don't think so. If that were the case I should have waited to do the training so I could do it in Oregon. It was incredibly irritating. And everyone else quit. All the tellers quit and both the other bankers quit. Obviously it wasn't a good environment for anyone. At the end, for a full month before I quit, it was just me, the manager, and the teller manager. Unacceptable. I'm not having it. I don't understand why my manager didn't hire people faster. As soon as I gave my two weeks he was suddenly able to hire 3 people. In one week. Hmmmmm. Seems like it could've been done sooner then. Right? Oh well. Chase was an experience. I learned more about what I don't want from a job. Onward and upward. Of course, I couldn't quit without having another job lined up. I applied for a few jobs back in September. I heard back about a position I thought in no way would I ever get. Although I also heard back about a branch manager position which I am also completely unqualified for. So. It's an employee's market. Anyway. I applied for a Licensed Relationship Manager position at Key Bank. Basically in the position you hand small investment portfolios and client's banking needs. A sort of introduction into being an FA while still working mainly with bank products. However, it does mean that the person in that position gets fully licensed. Umm so I did a phone interview while I was in phoenix and as soon as I got back they brought me in for an interview with the branch manager. Next day I get a call saying they want to give me the job. I got a huge pay increase, and will get another one once I finish my licensing. The incentive pay will be similar to what I would have gotten as an RB at Chase, and??? To get licensed and be working with portfolios at 21?? Awesome. I was so hyped. I really couldn't believe that I got the job. It was definitely a stressful transition. The position is in Medford and I didn't want to commute so we had to move. Finding a decent place in Medford for a decent price is ridiculous. I ended up finding a good place albeit a little expensive. I can definitely afford it with the raise and all but. Don't like how much the rent is. It is super nice though. Um it is brand new, no one has ever lived here before. And all the appliances are new and modern. Real hardwood floors (although it is light wood and I do prefer darker wood). The bedrooms are a little small but overall it is much larger than the other house. It has an open layout with lots of windows and natural light. I have an enormous bathroom (two sinks!!!) and a huge walk-in closet that I absolutely adore. I mean. I've never had a closet like this. It's my dream. And so far it has been a great place. We'll see how I feel after paying rent for the first time on 12/1 but. I actually got to unpack everything and there's only like two more boxes. It was a bit of a pain to get here. Trent and I had to work out a situation where he could come with me and that took a lot of conversations and arguments but we made it here together. Which is cool. And then obviously all the packing and planning and preparing?? Stressful. We did get to have movers, so moving the furniture wasn't as much of an issue. And!!! I got to have a ton of old stuff we didn't want taken to goodwill so no more useless shit around the house. Love that. So. It all worked out. Starting a new job is always rough for me. My new manager did lie to me a little bit about the training program. In the interview I asked what it would be like starting and she told me directly that I would be working with customers on my first day. Which turned out to just be a flagrant lie. I was in teller training for my first two weeks. Two weeks. Teller. Wtf. No. So I finished all the online stuff on my first day and then just sat and read the NYT for two weeks. Literally. Except for one call every day from 11:00-12:30. In which I sat and half listened, and mostly read the NYT. I did enjoy reading though. I read all of the ethicist articles and went back through 2013 on the social q's articles. I think that I enjoyed social q's more, but probably just because I disagree with so many things the ethicist says. Also?? The ethicist acts more like an advice columnist (like social q's) whereas he is supposed to be talking about the ethics of the given situation. Not what you should do for the best outcome for you, but what the ethical ramifications/solutions would be. So. Um but I learned a lot and was thoroughly entertained by the utter nonsense people write in. People are wild. I must tell you. But I was still bored and felt tortured. Next week I have to drive up to Portland for the entire week (Mon-Fri) and do my banker training. So dumb. The other day I full ass opened an account (although I guess I wasn't supposed to) and it went totally fine. Like obviously I know what I'm doing. I don't need to learn the products or the system because I'm actually good enough at my job to do it without knowing every detail. I'm not going to memorize the products here because I just end up share, show, and pointing anyway. Like the customer will listen to you yap for about 2 seconds but if you show them a pretty screen that they can look at they will pay more attention. Gonna bring up the product on key.com anyway. So what's the point? I am excited to go to Portland though. I like Portland and I'm staying in a nice hotel and I get to drive instead of fly. And I get to see Jonno which is awesome cuz I haven't seen him in so long. It'll be nice to have a break from my life here I think. I just gets boring and overwhelming. Which you wouldn't think could happen simultaneously, but it can. Ummm what else? The people I work with here are much better than at Chase. So far. The branch is only women, which I love. And they are all relatively nice ladies. A little gossipy for my taste, not so into that. I think it's mostly just the manager though. She lovessss me. I do not know why but she thinks I am God's gift. I mean I knew she felt that way after the interview but she will tell me anything and really lets me do whatever I want. It's fantastic. I can't speak to how competent she is but honestly whatever. As long as it doesn't affect my numbers I don't care. It's not like she's a Nate; throwing tantrums in the office and yelling at customers. Asking me to do her job. Disappearing for hours with no explanation and then acting like nothing happened. Falling asleep at lunch and not coming back without calling or anything. Lmao. After a Nate, I think I could handle a slightly lacking manager. Key Bank is a lot more like US Bank than Chase. There isn't really a dress code and everything is much more casual. The company culture is more diverse and less forced. The training at Chase was much better, not that I needed it in that situation either, but at least the trainers were engaging and interesting. At both Key and US the trainers just blab at you and don't really expect participation. I was kinda interested in being a trainer at Chase cuz they're really cool and they get paid a lot and their lives seem awesome but I would never want to do it anywhere else. Anyway. I don't know. I guess that is the biggest update. Um I also cut all my hair off. I was tired of my look and I wanted a change. So I cut it off and dyed it black. I've always wanted to. I love it. I think it is much more me. I'll post pictures later. My stylist is really cool too. I've never enjoyed going to the salon because the stylists are so chatty and I normally hate them but this is one is really cool. We have a lot in common and she's around my age. So. I'm actually excited to go just to see her. Haha. I don't know. So many changes and yet I don't really feel like anything has changed. I've asked for more changes, I need more changes, but there is only so much I can do myself. I'm a weak person. I don't really know what to say. I have been having a lot of nightmares recently. Sleep has not been good. Which makes life hard for sure. I have nightmares pretty frequently, but more so in the winter than any other time of year. Awful, horrible, terrifying nightmares. Where I wake up and I'm anxious and sad all day. It sucks. I become afraid to sleep. Oddly, it is only night time sleeping when it happens. Because like if I sleep after work or like today, I nap during the day, I don't have the nightmares. It's strange. I wonder why that happens. I guess that's really all. I should write more but my life is boring now and I'm boring now and it just doesn't seem worth much to write about me and what's going on anymore. Recently Jonno asked me what I've been writing and like on a general whole?? Absolutely nothing. I write little poems about this and that here and there but nothing big or important or inspiring. I'm lame, I'm boring. I hung out with Zach the other day for the first time in a while and I felt out of place. My life isn't how it was before. Full of excitement and adventure and intrigue. Even though I was working at a bank and I was working hard I still had interesting things happen and interesting conversations. I wrote so much more when I was having inspiring experiences. Going through my boxes of stuff I found a shitload of poems I wrote at US Bank. Notebooks full. I would write at work. I would write and draw and now? Like yea I read the NYT but I don't produce anything that's my own. It's so much harder now. I have no ideas. That makes me kinda sad. And Trent is just like, if you want to write more, write more. I guess it's not that simple for me. Or maybe it is and I'm just a dumbass who has issues starting things. It is hard to write/say words when you have none left in your head. I don't know. Oh well. Til next time, Tumblr. I hope all my readers are well. If anyone still reads this lol Happy Thanksgiving.