#this is the last time don't care how we do it just as long as we can love under the same sky all we got is tonight

[tulipq]

No one ever states the whole concept of the ship of Theseus. This shit is too fucking long winded. I hope you are all ready for this shit. At least I will use text you can copy paste around!

The full problem with the ship of Theseus is meant to be like a koan that gives you an insight into the unstable nature of identity. That's how I read it. I just wanted to state my current conclusion first, because you can't refute me if you don't know where I am going with this.

My answer is that neither is the original ship. The ship ceased to be itself in the original sense every moment and is actually "close enough to be felt the same by humans at the time" instead of being itself. Identity is unstable. A does not equal A because the notion of A is as a flickering flame in the eyes of its beholder.

Anyway, I am going to cheat in order to make things in a certain way. I will make it clear when this is cheating and not just clever storytelling.

We witness:

A boat maker, and he makes a boat. He also travels with the boat and he keeps replacing parts along the way because wooden boats are like this. He has a little barge or something that he stores all of the cast off part of the boat.

Suppose he is the last original crew member to die. He and his complete boat of boat parts get taken to the cemetery where all of the other original crew members.

Then Persephone notices she has the complete set of one of her favorite little adventuring groups that the muses sing about. She gives them all new lives and even magics the boat parts to be young and unworked material because fuck you this is a greek philosophy parable, I have decided to fuck with how time works. You can tell a version where that does not happen in your response.

Then the ship builder makes the ship parts into the original shape of the ship.

This is completed just as the current crew of the ship, the builder's body road to the graveyard in shows up to bury someone who was not part of the crew when it first departed.

Which ship is the original ship which the builder made? Is it the one with the builder, the crew, and the material that first left in the very same condition as when they left, or is it the one which has experienced all of the changes that happened since it first departed?

If the builder says he believes for sure the answer opposite yours, do you care about that? I do not.

[panelshowsource]

random things to watch over the holiday break

happy holidays friends (⸝⸝^ᴗ^⸝⸝)❄️ as many of us have time off from our normal schedules, are taking long-haul flights or car drives, and will be spending hours in broom closets to avoid our terrifying families, i figure this is the perfect time to look back on the year and put together some watch links for over the break ❄️❄️❄️

—

panel shows

the christmas special of never mind the buzzcocks is always...something else

speaking of, icymi in a panel show miracle earlier this year an anonymous source provided beautiful archival copies of the first 12 series of nmtb — so this is the perfect time to revisit its classic era!!

junior taskmaster just wrapped up its first season! very wholesome, for the whole family (don't forget to check out the taskmaster podcast discussions for each episode, hosted by ed gamble!)

there were some great eps of cats does countdown this year but this one was probably my standout<3

because this series is on sky so we have to be careful circulating it, not everyone got a chance to watch rob beckett's smart tv when it aired this year! some of the panel guests include natasia demetriou, nicola coughlan, david tennant, romesh, and alan davies, among others

idk if this is controversial but i think the australian guy mont spelling bee MIGHT be better than the new zealand version... i'm not sure yet... i need someone else to watch every single episode and tell me what my opinion should be. i also want to thank this show for teaching me how to spell vinaigrette

this, this, and this were some of my favourite episodes of wilty this year!! btw the 2024 christmas episode just dropped!

there were a lot of wild lineups on mel giedoryc: unforgivable this year, but i'd recommend just starting with the first episode of the latest series because..well you'll understand when you see it

this year i made three big lists of random panel show moments that, in my humble opinion, you will love wasting your holidays hours clicking through: part 1 / part 2 / part 3

misc. tv

the royal variety performance 2024

the completely made up adventures of dick turpin was renewed for s2 so make sure to catch up!!! it's SO stupid hahaha

on a similar, less stupid note, ludwig will also be back for s2!

we're all still missing sean lock, who passed away three years ago, so it's never a bad time to revisit 15 storeys high — especially now that we have upgraded rips!

listen jon and lucy may be divorced but that doesn't make meet the richardsons any less iconic and the last two episodes just released!

s2 of alma's not normal is out this year and doing such amazing things for our sophie willan!!

this was a bit under the radar but backstage with katherine ryan was really fun! i love the mostly-documentary concept and it's one of my favourite things to see the backstage culture between these random comedians (judi x ivo killed me)

rhod gilbert's stand up to cancer documentary was really beautiful ;;

am i being unreasonable? (written by & starring daisy may cooper, from this country) is one of my underrated scripted comedies of the year

paddy mcguinness on who do you think you are

in the new jimmy carr-hosted game show battle in a box, pairs of celebs (mostly comedians) are trapped in an empty box for 24 hours, forced to play a series of mental and physical challenges. if you like the lineup then it's worth checking out!

it's christmas. just follow tradition and watch fry & laurie.

standup

ahir shah – ends (2024)

fern brady – austistic bikini queen (2024)

harriet kemsley – everything always works out for me (2024)

lucy beaumont – live from the royal court theatre (2024)

john kearns – the varnishing days (2023–4)

rhys james – spilt milk (2024)

suzi ruffell – snappy (2024)

tony law – the law also rises (2024)

films

monty python and the holy grail (1975) dir. terry gilliam, terry jones

withnail and i (1987) dir. bruce robinson

gosford park (2001) dir. robert altman

the personal history of david copperfield (2019) dir. armando iannucci

how to have sex (2023) dir. molly manning walker

rye lane (2023) dir. raine allen-miller

scrapper (2023) dir. charlotte regan

kneecap (2024) dir. rich peppiatt

youtube

been enjoying the dish podcast this year!! some of my favourite episodes include claudia winkleman, jordan north & william hanson, saoirse-monica jackson, gordon ramsay, sandi toksvig, richard e. grant, matthew macfadyen, and stephen fry

sandi toksvig hugging guests (2024 edition)

obsessed with this house tour with richard e grant

phil wang was on jolly?? it was fun to see his house

don't sleep on the taskmaster outtakes content!

radio & podcasts

green wing came back for a 6-part radio series and warmed all of our hearts<3

some of my favourite episodes of off menu this year: elis james, john robins, sam campbell, frankie boyle, lucy beaumont, jess knappett, joe wilkinson, tommy tiernan, ardal o'hanlon, huge davies (one of the all-time clips), danny dyer (this one is truly crazy on the ears can't recommend it enough)

the horne section podcast was back for a few episodes!!! if you've never listened before, start with this classic episode you're welcome

susie dent and phil wang have adorable chemistry on this new radio game show

david o'doherty and max rushden started a new podcast about what people did yesterday that has had lots of fun guests! start here if you need to give it a taste

a few RHLSTP episodes worth giving a listen: lee mack, bob mortimer, armando iannucci, rob brydon, peter serafinowicz, ade edmondson, fern brady, among others. if you find your patience waning, he's doing a couple of 'best of 2024' eps! richard's really been focused on his book podcast this year

books

frankie boyle & charlie skelton – a short history of the apocalypse: the vital guide to your future survival (2024)

miranda hart – i haven't been entirely honest with you (2024)

richard osman – we solve murders (2024)

—

i could go on forever but i've got to stop somewhere heh... looking forward to big fat quiz and more mindless telly in 2025! have a wonderful holiday x sarah

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS • NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS ♥ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[threepandas]

Bad End: Trust

"Meet your new mates, cargo! Get breeding!"

I didn't understand the bellowed noises at the time. It was just incoherent gibberish. Heaped on top of what was likely a concussion, mixed with what ever drugs they had pumped me with. Thrown into a cell, roughly, and hitting the ground hard. I couldn't have caught myself if I had wanted too. My limbs, unresponsive and dragging meat, that I could barely FEEL.

Please, god, I had thought. Don't let me be paralyzed. Not on top of everything else.

They'll kill me.

Behind and around me, the weeping cries of sorrow and fear rang out. Screams of violence, born of desperation. Countless races, bound together, suffering in this hell. Newly enslaved. I didn't... I couldn't understand. Shaking and struggling to remain conscious, laying on the blood stained floor. The world swayed violently. It was all I could do, to barely keep from passing out.

It was so cold. The air, the floor, the deep and clawing despair, sinking like knives into my gut. Those furry... things, had grabbed me while I was alone, before I could react. W-would anyone notice? Could anyone DO anything? I wanted to get away from the door. Curl up in a corner and... and cry. But I could not move. Like a doll, dropped thoughtlessly on the floor, I could not... could not move.

Tears I likely could not afford, threatened to choke me.

I... I was scared.

Then, deeper in the hovel that was my new home, movement. The heavy clink of chains. Shifting, slow and careful, followed by the drag of metal. A warm hand. Fingers, calloused but careful, checking my neck. My pulse, for injury perhaps, I couldn't tell. But... god, i could have sobbed in relief. They... they felt human.

How terrible of me. That I was GLAD not to be alone. T-That it was relief, to have another person here. Someone who might know what's going on. What to do. To.. to stick with. I... I should wish it was just me, right? That they captured no one else? But... oh god. O-Oh God, I can't! I'm scared. Please. P-please...

I'm so scared.

The person checking me hummed low and soft. Their voice crackling like an old radio that's been left sitting on a shelf too long, unused. How.. how long has it been? Since they last had anyone to talk too? They sounded male, but.. but I didn't want to presume. Could just have a low voice. Throat injury. Might be Trans. I didn't care, couldn't care. I was pretty sure? We were all we had now.

They... no, He, found nothing alarming enough not to move me. Shifting into view as he gently slipped his arms under me. Enough to pick me up and carry me away from the door. He was... is... pretty handsome.

Okay, REALLY handsome.

Horrifically enough? I could see WHY they grabbed him. Athletic as hell, TV ready, really smart. If you were going to ignore ever bit of decency and morality to ever exsist? Might as well go for the best, I guess. Don't know why they grabbed ME, but I guess? They need a stand in or something? Or my predecessor is dead.

(God, I hope she's dead. The alternative...)

Pretty quickly became apparent, though, that one of the main problems (of so, SO many)? Was we don't actually speak the same language. Which... I mean... Well, shit. That's, putting it mildly, "less then ideal". Being unable to communicate with the only other person nominally on "My Side"? Kinda bad! But, I AM learning. And I am teaching him english! So there's that.

We have nothing but time, after all. It helps distract from the suffering just outside. The weeping and screams. The sounds that must be begging, in alien dialects. All the mercies they do not find.

(Is it terrible? That I am glad I can not understand what they are saying? Their cries for help? I can't help them. It hurts. Helpless to even save my self. God, I'm sorry. Please... I'm... I'm so sorry...)

Food gets shoved in. Lights flipped on. Lights shut off. The timer odd, but probably standard for somewhere. It's like being told to go to sleep halfway through the afternoon. Yanked awake before full nights are done. I struggle to adapt, even a little, following my fellow prisoner's lead. Or, well, trying too. There's a lot of charades at first.

Then, practicing our languages. Taking what naps and cuddling for warmth we can. Harsh lights be damned. It's cold, we're tired, but we have to keep our strength up. Right? Throughout it all, I try to ignore the weird smells they pump in. Still not used to getting random scents blasted at my head from above, from the air vents in the walls.

Day in, day out, rinse and repeate. The weird gasses smells like people have had sex, to be honest. I think? But don't quote me. They might be trying to get us to "mate", like animals, so they can sell our kids. Induce some nonexistent human heat cycle or something. I've kinda started to worry, not gonna lie, about what they'll do... you know, once they finally get frustrated. Figure out, we don't work like that.

Or... more relevantly, might not even be? Compatible?

Cause Azenari is DEFINITELY not a human. They fucked uuuup. Cause if he is? There is some probably serious divergent evolution going on. He did NOT get nabbed from Earth. HE got nabbed from his SHIP(as in, yeah, a fuckin Space Ship). Because HIS people are space faring! The man has pointy ears for fucks sake! Some seriously fangy canines. And while, yeah, seriously kinda cool? No idea if our species are related, or... you know...

So yeah, The Fur Covered Slaver Bastards are apparently Humanoid face blind, on TOP of being just generally terrible. Or dumb! Might be dumb, honestly. Wouldn't put it past them. Banality of evil and all that. But recently? There was a... tension. Something was coming. The Bastards seemed twitchy.

"Not long now, beloved. We're two stops from the extraction ambush." Azenari murmured, from where he was tucked loosely around me as I watch the latest patrol pass, one arm cradling me tight. Even as, with the other hand, he sleepily stroked my back. "You'll look lovely in proper robes. You deserve finery, my love."

I couldn't understand most of the sentence. Normally he simplified for me, since I was still learning. He seemed... pleased? Smug? The more tense and twitchy the Bastards got, the more darkly amused he seemed to become. As though he knew exactly why. As though he was laughing inside.

"My magnificent darling, you'll belong to me in everyway that matters. I'll take safer jobs. No more slave ring stings. I promise."

Oh. I think I got it. Azenari though of me as family! Yeah, that tracked. Trauma bonding and all. I did too. Couldn't help but smile, hugging him back, much to his clear delight. Yeah. We were in this together.

I'm glad I had someone I could trust. The universe was big and I would be pretty much alone without him. All but thrown at his feet and told I was his, Azenari had every chance to hurt me. But he didn't. He was a good man. Solid and stable when everything when frightening, warm and there when I needed to hide.

Really, it was only a matter of time before we would be chatting like old friends!

"You are NEVER going to escape me, beloved."

"I Love You."

[6rookie-writer0110]

Losing track of time

Eddie Diaz x Male Reader

Request - eddie x male reader: y/n is the newest member of the squad. he's been getting along with everyone, but eddie's flirty n touch-filled behavior makes him blush and fluster. one day, while in the locker room, a shirtless eddie walks up on y/n, making sure he can feel how rock hard his body is EVERYWHERE. y/n is a little scared, but gives in, kissing eddie while touching him everywhere

You are the new firefighter at the station 118. You do get along with everyone and you become friends with them fast. Everyone can see that you work hard and care about others. But Eddie makes you feel flustered when you are around him, and he would just smirk at you. It's obvious that he has a crush on you. You like him but you don't want to admit to him for now.

You are alone in the kitchen and Eddie walks behind you.

“Hey, handsome” Eddie smiled

You stuttered a bit. He is standing very close to you and you start to feel nervous.

“What do you want, Eddie,” You said

When he flirts with you, he would call you cute or handsome.

“I can't say hi, my cute firefighter” Eddie teased

“We said hi this morning,” You said

He puts his hand on your lower back and he starts to check you out.

“You look really hot in the uniform. But you would look better in my bed,” Eddie said

“We are still on the clock,” You said

“It’s cute when you get nervous when I'm next to you” Eddie smiled

You walked away and he was still smiling. Later, Eddie did flirt with you again but he was touching your arm.

After work, you go to the bar with your coworkers. You start to play pool with them and Eddie would check you out when it's your turn to play. Eddie and Buck went to the bar to get the drinks.

“Did you ask him out?” Buck asked

“Not yet. I mostly flirt with him, it's cute when he gets shy” Eddie smiled

“Why are you taking so long to ask him out?” Buck asked

“I’m going to ask him out when we are alone, I know he will say yes,” Eddie said

They grabbed the drinks and walked back to the table. Eddie starts to ask questions about your interests.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You are in the locker room and it's just you and Eddie alone. Eddie is shirtless and he stands in front of you and you can't help to stare at him. You looked away but you still stared at him and he was smiling at you.

“You touch my abs, I know you want to,” Eddie said

“I don't know what you are talking about, Eddie,” You said

“I don't mind, Y/N. I have been working out, my biceps are getting bigger” Eddie said

He starts to flex his biceps and you do want to touch his abs and biceps.

“Wow, they are big,” You said

You weren't going to touch his biceps, but you gave in. He flexed his biceps again and you touch it. Then you touch his abs and he moves closer towards you. You like how his abs feel then you touch his pecs, and he starts to flex his pecs. You feel his lips on your lips and you start to kiss him, then Eddie presses you agsnit the lockers. His hands go on your ass and he starts to squeeze your ass. He starts to rub his bulge on your bulge and you let out a moan. He starts to kiss your neck and he squeezed your ass harder.

“Y/N… I want you so badly” Eddie moans

“Not here,” You said

“Next time, I will make you my name” Eddie whispered

He starts to kiss you hard, you and Eddie are getting turned on even more.

“I don't want to stop kissing you,” You said

“I don't want to stop either. Go out with me,” Eddie said

He stares into your eyes and he waits for your answer.

“Okay, I will go out with you,” You said

He gives you one last kiss then he walks away.

——-

You meet Eddie at the beach for the date. He holds your hand while you and Eddie look for a spot. He puts the towel on the sand and you help him take out the stuff.

“I never had a date at the beach,” You said

“It's the perfect weather and I thought why not and we both can have fun” Eddie smiled

“I like the idea” You smiled

You and Eddie head to the water, and you follow him into the water. You two go a little deeper into the water and he swims closer to you. You give him a peck on the lips and he doesn't stop smiling.

“Do you know how to swim?” Eddie asked

“Is that another reason for you to touch me?” You joked

You and Eddie laughed.

“You like it when I touch you. But I’m serious” Eddie said

“I don't know how to swim,” You said

“I’m going to teach you how and maybe I want to touch you again” Eddie winked

You smiled and rolled your eyes at him. He does touch you again but he is showing you how to swim. He tells you what to do and you try to do the steps and so far you are getting it. He kept teaching you how to swim and you are starting to get better and you are happy that you learned how to swim.

Later, you and Eddie lay on the towels and started to talk. Then he lies on his side and you look at him. He starts to talk about his favorite movie then you tell him your favorite movie. You and Eddie sit up then start to eat the snacks and he feeds you a grape. You kiss him on the lips and he starts to kiss you back.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Amandathon!

Sophie sets up the video camera and hits record. She places the first tape she finds in Riley’s stash into the VCR. Let’s Go To the Library! The tape begins to play. 

“Hi friends! I’m Amanda!” Amanda smiles and waves. 

“And I’m Wooly!” Wooly beams. They are back to their usual outfits. 

“And today we’re having an Amandathon!” 

“What’s an Amandathon, Amanda?” Wooly asks, more as if he was playing into the bit.

“It’s a huge marathon of Amanda episodes! Just like we used to do sometimes back in the day!” Amanda beams. Wooly looks over behind her and notices… something. 

“Wha- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Wooly shouts. The tape glitches. Amanda gets startled. She looks around quickly, trying to figure out what Wooly is reacting too. Finally she notices. Right behind them reading a book on top of the dumpster.

“You.” Amanda growls. Wooly immediately picks the opossum up by the neck. 

“WHY THE HECK ARE YOU HERE?! I THOUGHT WE GOT RID OF YOU!”

“Heh. Now you know how I felt when you came back to life?” Amanda chuckles playfully. 

“Shut up Amanda.”

“Excuse me?” Amanda scoffs, appalled to say the least. She shakes her head in disappointment. Wooly does not seem to care. She turns her attention back to the opossum. “So opossum,” she sneers, trying to make herself sound scary and formidable, “how long have you been back?” The opossum glares at Wooly and kicks him in the stomach, forcing him to let go. Amanda holds back a chuckle. He sassily walks back to the dumpster and jumps on top of it. Then he takes out a pencil and writes in the book he was reading. 

“Hey isn't that a library book? You're not supposed to write in those!”

“Shut up Wooly.” Amanda says. Wooly shoots her an annoyed look. The opossum holds up their writing. Amanda squints at it. “What does that even say?”

“I think it says the whole time.” Wooly reads, leaning in closer to the book. The opossum spits on Wooly, he backs up immediately and gives the opossum a dirty look. 

“That can't be right. If it is, why hasn't he been bothering us anymore?” Amanda questions. The opossum lets out an annoyed sigh and starts writing again. He holds up the book and sticks his tongue out at Wooly. Amanda squints at the book again. “Life is pointless now. Okay, wow. Bleak.” The opossum shrugs, chucks the book at Wooly's face and makes raspberries at him.

“Amanda. Permission to kill him now?”

“No Wooly.”

“Amanda, turn around real quick.”

“I'm not falling for that.” Amanda rolls her eyes. She taps her chin in thought. “Say opossum, why don't you join us for the Amandathon?” The opossum tilts his head in confusion.

“Why would you ever suggest that?!” Wooly snaps, “He took out my eye you know! Among other things.”

“Yeah so? I killed you and I'm still your best friend somehow.”

“Amanda, you're my only friend.” Wooly rolls his eyes. 

“Ow. When did you get so mean?” Amanda says dramatically.

“I'm not being mean.” Wooly pouts folding his arms. The opossum shrugs and jumps off the trash bin.

“I’ll take that as a yes! So let’s go to the library!” Amanda beams. The tape glitches to the library. “Wow… it’s all fixed up now huh?” 

“Amanda… are you going to be okay coming back here? I mean after last time…” 

“It’s fine Wooly.” she lies before turning to the opossum, “Welcome to the Kensdale Public Library buddy!” Wooly rolls his eyes. “You’re a kid right? Let’s take you to the children’s section-tion-tion-tion.” the tape glitches to the kids section. 

“Go on, pick out a book you like.” Amanda offers. The opossum takes the smiling flower book and starts eating it. “No opossum! We don’t eat books!” Amanda scolds, fighting the opossum in a game of tug-of-war to get the book out of its mouth. Finally he lets it go, making Amanda fall backwards with a slobbery, half-shredded book in her hands. “Ewww… Well, here’s your book, Wooly.” she says, half-jokingly. 

“I am not touching that.” Wooly says, looking like he’s about to throw up. Amanda shrugs and tosses the book aside.

“Keep an eye on him okay?” Amanda mumbles. 

“Huh? Why?” Wooly gasps. 

“I need some… me-time.” Amanda sighs. She walks off, leaving Wooly and the opossum in the kids section. 

“She needs some me-time.” Wooly grumbles to himself mockingly, “Yeah sure just leave me with the- HEY STOP THAT!” the tape glitches back to Amanda. She walks up to the library counter, looking at the owl. 

“Did you find everything you need today?” she asks. 

“Can you help me find my favorite book?” Amanda questions quietly. 

“I’m sorry I don’t know what book that is. Can you tell me what you’re looking for?” 

“Haha… of course you wouldn’t know.” Amanda chuckles sadly. 

“If you give me the title maybe I can find it.” 

“I’d like to read The Nightingale.” Amanda says. The owl types the title into the computer. 

“I’m sorry. It seems that the book is currently checked out. We have other books. Let’s find something for you togeth-ther-ther-ther.” 

“Okay.” Amanda replies. The owl stands up and starts maneuvering around the library. Amanda follows suit. 

“We have other titles by that author. Oooh. Look at this-is-is-is-is.” Kate hands Rebecca a- The owl hands Amanda a book. It is a collection of fairy tales by Hans Christain Anderson. Amanda flips through it. 

“Wait a second… this is…” there it was. “No way… it was… here the entire time…” tears start welling up in her eyes and she starts to cry. 

“Wrong book?” the owl asks, tilting her head in confusion. 

“No… No it’s perfect…” Amanda cries, giving the owl a big hug. The owl’s model starts to glitch out. 

“Happy to he-he-he-help.” The owl promptly glitches back to the counter. Amanda wipes her tears and returns to the children’s section. Where Wooly and the opossum are… beating each other up. 

“Ahem. Have you found a book yet?” Both immediately look up at her in shock. Amanda looks pissed.

“He started it!” Wooly shouts, immediately standing up. The opossum bites his arm. “You little-” he swats the opossum off and back into the wall. She walks up to them and smacks them both upside the head with her book really hard. “Hey!” 

“Be quiet in the library.” She says with a calm, chilling sternness. 

“Got it.” Wooly responds, nodding frantically. Even the opossum sits in a well behaved manner. Amanda shakes her head in disappointment. They both show a book and all head back toward the desk. 

“You know… I used to come here a lot after Kate died… when no one was watching, just to hear her voice again.” 

“Amanda…” 

“It’s not her… I know it will never really be her… but sometimes I just miss her so much…” Amanda sounds like she’s going to cry again but she takes a really deep breath. Wooly looks at the ground with a guilty expression. They all walk up to the desk. The opossum sticks his tongue out at Wooly. Wooly is clearly annoyed but he chooses to look the other way. 

“Did you find everything you need today?” the owl asks. 

“Yes, thanks to you.” Amanda smiles gratefully. 

“Good! It is due-due-due-due-due-due-due---” the owl’s whole body starts glitching out. Amanda turns to walk away. “Have a nice day Rebecca.” a voice, clearly a recording, plays through the owl’s mouth. Amanda whips around in shock. The owl continues glitching and contorting before breaking down like a robot and laying limp like a dead person. 

“Kate… did she… record that for me?” Amanda wonders, frozen in one place. The tape ends. Sophie hits stop on the camera and uploads the file to a harddrive on her computer. I wonder what Riley would have thought… if they heard that. Sophie wonders. She sets the camera back up and puts in the next tape. 

“Welcome back! It’s your friend Amanda!” Amanda beams. 

“And… you’re pal Wooly!” Wooly says, a little flustered and confused by Amanda’s different opening. 

“Today we’re going to the park!” Amanda announces. “Can you tell me where the park is?” Amanda pulls out the map of her neighborhood. It takes Sophie a minute before she realizes. 

“Oh you want me to pick? Um… there.” “That’s right!” Amanda beams, closing the map. The tape glitches to the park. “There are so many things to see and do at the park!” 

“Like what Amanda?” Wooly asks unenthusiastically. 

“Like we can see… different animals.” Amanda pauses remembering their previous conversation. Static starts to cover the tape, but Amanda snaps out of it. “What animals do you see?” Oh she wants me to interact with her on this one. Okay. Well I guess that’s fair. Sophie thinks. She points to the opossum. “Look, it’s our new friend, the opossum!” 

“Since when was he our friend?” Wooly grumbles. Amanda’s eye twitches. She pulls Wooly in for a group huddle. 

“Wooly I think this opossum might be somewhat like us.” Amanda whispers. 

“Like us?! He is clearly nothing like us!” Wooly hisses. “An-And even if he was, we shouldn’t let him hang out with us.” 

“Why not?” “Because! He’s always being super rude and messing with us!” 

“Maybe he’s just lonely?” Amanda suggests. They look over at the opossum, which is currently choking on a dead bird. Wooly gives her a skeptical look. “Oh come on I’ve seen you eat some pretty weird things.” 

“Not dead birds.” Wooly scoffs, folding his arms. “And you are not one to talk.”

“Come on Wooly, just give him a chance.” 

“He bit me yesterday!” 

“So? It’s not like you can get rabies here.” 

“Oh but I think I might.” Wooly says dramatically, pretending he’s going to faint. Amanda smiles and rolls her eyes. 

“Wooly you’re fine.” she chuckles. “If you could forgive me, you can forgive anybody.” 

“Ye-yeah… I guess that’s true…” Wooly replies nervously, looking away, but it doesn’t sound sincere. 

“So let’s give him a chance, alright?” 

“Oh alright. Fine.” Wooly smiles weakly. 

“Opossum! Opossum!” Amanda calls out, “Wanna go to the playground with us?” She asks. She glances over and notices Sophie looks busy so she pulls out her map and asks the Opossum, “Can you tell me where the playground is.” The opossum takes the map and eats it. Amanda looks pissed. 

“Look I told you so.” Wooly says. Amanda glares at them both with annoyance. The tape glitches right to the park. “Let’s play!” she shouts, with anger poorly hidden in her voice. The opossum runs off and slides down the slide on his own. Wooly takes a leisurely ride on the swings. “Um guys… aren’t we going to play together?” But everyone seems to be doing their own thing. “Playgrounds are boring anyway…” she grumbles, “Why does this world always treat us like little kids?” Suddenly the tape glitches out and ends. Sophie looks over in surprise. Amanda seems to be ending these episodes sooner and sooner. I… hope she’s alright. She thinks. Sophie uploads this one to the harddrive and looks at the next tape. When You Get Sick. Should we skip this one? She wonders. But she told Riley she’d record as many as she could, so she puts the tape into the VCR. The tape begins to play. 

“Hi friends, I’m Wooly.” Wooly announces. He looks around and giggles a little. “We can’t go on our adventure yet today because Amanda hasn’t woken up yet. Sophie, wanna wake her up with me?” 

“Well alright.” Sophie answers. Considering this tape’s title I don’t think that’s a good idea. Wooly goes up to Amanda’s door and knocks. 

“Amanda, it's time to get up!” he says in a sing-song voice. 

“Go away Wooly, I don't feel good today.” 

“Can I come in? Maybe I could help you feel better?” Wooly asks. Amanda doesn’t object so he opens the door. “What’s wrong Amanda? Are you sick?” 

“No…” Amanda mumbles. Wait what? Sophie thinks. “I just… I don’t wanna get out of bed today.” 

“But… you should at least have breakfast? And what about our adventure?” Wooly questions. Amanda tiredly looks at the camera. 

“I don’t wanna go on an adventure today…” she mumbles. “I don’t wanna do anything today.” The tape fades out and falls out of the machine. The title has changed to When You’re Not Okay. Sophie looks at it worriedly. Okay… yeah… she’s definitely not doing well. Sophie thinks. She decides to take a break and have some tea before continuing onto the next tape. Sophie scrolls through her computer and sees all the homework she has to do. She works for a while until it’s around 4pm. I guess I should go back to recording Amanda now… maybe I could multitask? Do some homework while I record? She thinks to herself. She takes her computer downstairs, sets up the camera and puts in the next tape. Let’s Go On a Hike! The tape begins with Amanda and Wooly standing in the woods. 

“Hi friends! I’m Amanda!” 

“Amanda, are you sure you’re okay to be going on a hike today? You weren’t feeling well just yesterday.” Wooly asks. Amanda shoots him an annoyed look. 

“I’m fine now, Wooly.” 

“But-” 

“And now you spoiled our whole opening!” She scoffs in annoyance, throwing her hands into the air. Wooly looks guilty. “As our friend Wooly said, we are going on a HIKE today!” 

“Hikes are very important for the mind and body!” Wooly adds. Amanda glares at him. He looks back at her with confusion. 

“Today we’re going to watch the sunset in our originally planned place! Since we um… ended up at the wrong place last time.” 

“But Amanda… I don’t like walking in the woods at night…” “Don’t worry about it Wooly, you’ll be fine!” Amanda grins, she seems to be hiding something. 

“Amanda, we talked about this!” Wooly groans. Amanda pulls the camera aside away from where Wooly can't hear. With her face this close to the screen, Sophie can clearly see the bags under her bloodshot eyes. Poor kid… looks like she hasn’t had a wink of sleep. Sophie thinks. It also seems like… she’s been crying?

“Psst! Extra Extra! Don’t tell Wooly but I got a little surprise waiting at the top of the mountain! Oooh! It’s gonna be so much fun!” she squeals. Surprise? Sophie thinks, feeling a tad bit concerned. Amanda walks back over to Wooly.

“What were you talking about just now?” Wooly questions.

“Nothing… NOTHING.” She laughs, she walks up to the big hiker's backpack she brought and tries to put it on, but proceeds to fall backwards from its weight.

“I gotcha.” Wooly says, catching her and putting her back on her feet. “How about I carry that?”

“Are you sure?” Amanda says, handing him the backpack. He puts it on and wobbles a little. 

“I’m sure.” He grins. 

“Well alright! Let’s go on our hike!” Amanda beams. Wooly starts walking. “Wooly hold still, you have our map.” Amanda says, stopping him and rummaging through the backpack for her map. “Which pocket did I put it in again?” 

“Why do you have such a big backpack anyway?” Wooly questions.

“Aha! Found it!” Amanda pulls the map out triumphantly. “You see, last time we had problems because we weren’t prepared. So this time I made absolutely sure we have EVERYTHING we need.” she announces proudly. 

“But… when did you have time to do all this?” 

“Hahahaha! You’re so funny Wooly!” Amanda laughs in a slightly-manic fashion. 

“Um what? How was that funny? That- I don’t understand?” Wooly says, completely confused. Suddenly the opossum appears from the bushes. Amanda’s eye twitches. “Hi opossum! Do you wanna go on a hike with us today?” Wooly offers. Amanda whips an appalled glare at him. 

“The one day I didn’t- ugh.” Amanda sighs, “Actually opossum, I just want it to be me and Wooly today okay?” The opossum nods and runs off. 

“Oh, sorry about that. I thought you were going to invite him-”

“Well I wasn’t. Okay?!” she snaps. She lets out a tired sigh. “Let’s go Wooly.” They walk off into the woods. They reach a fork in the road. Amanda examines the map carefully. “Okay… I think I’m holding it right this time… which means we should go… that way.” She continues finding the different paths until… “Phew! I’m tired. Let’s take a break.” She says. She stops Wooly and pulls out two water bottles from the backpack. 

“Oh if I knew you packed those I would’ve asked for one.” Wooly mentions. Amanda hands him one. 

“I also have plenty of snacks too!” Amanda says, pulling out a bag of trailmix. “Look, it’s homemade.” Wooly looks kind of concerned, but the two both sit on some rocks and enjoy some snacks and water together. As soon as they're done eating Amanda says: “Alright! Break time is over! Back to walking!” 

“Already? I’m still kinda tired.” Wooly complains. 

“We don’t want to miss the sunset though, do we Wooly?” Amanda questions. Wooly sighs begrudgingly and stands back up. The tape glitches and they are finally at the peak. There, a full camping area is all set up. 

“Surprise, after the sunset we’re going camping tonight!” Amanda eagerly announces. “Ca-camping?!” Wooly gasps, “No! Why didn’t you tell me about this before? We’re camping?!” 

“Yeah! Aren’t ya excited Wooly?” “No of course not! We’re camping? In the middle of the woods with no adults? In the woods where we encountered WOLVES earlier? I don’t even have my pjs or my special bunny or my nightcap or anything! What about our nightlights? Wha-What about my nighttime routine?! What if I mess up some secret super sacred camping rule?!” 

“You don’t… like it?” Amanda sounds really hurt. 

“I do appreciate the thought but… I don’t like surprises Amanda. I wasn’t even given time to mentally prepare for this… I… it’s just a lot-”

“But I stayed up all night… trying to make this hike nice and fun for us. I tried so hard…” she mumbles, hugging her arms and trembling a little. 

“I’m sorry-” 

“It’s fine. We still have time before the sunset. I’ll just pack all this up and take it back tomorrow.” 

“No no, Amanda we can go camping. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I mean you worked really hard on this. That was insensitive of me…” 

“Wooly. It’s fine.” 

“But I feel bad.”

“Don’t.” Amanda says in a cold, harsh voice that sends a shiver up Wooly’s spine. 

“Um… okay then.” Wooly says nervously. Amanda lets out an annoyed huff and starts packing up the camping stuff. Wooly watches awkwardly for a bit, before coming over and starting to pick the stuff up as well. 

“Don’t help me!” Amanda snaps. Wooly flinches. Then he looks a bit mad. 

“I want to help you.” he insists forcefully. Amanda looks away and says nothing, but doesn’t stop him. They continue cleaning up the camping stuff in silence for a bit. “You know I do want to go camping with you… just… maybe on a different day and we can plan things out together. You know I have a lot of fun planning adventures with you…” 

“Fine.” Amanda pouts, still looking away. Wooly smiles awkwardly. Then he looks over at the sky and his expression immediately changes. 

“Um Amanda… is it just me or is it getting cloudy all of a sudden?” he asks. Amanda looks up. Dark clouds form quickly in the sky. Suddenly there is a downpour. “Aw! Now we can’t see the sunset!” Wooly complains. Amanda suddenly screams at the top of her lungs. Wooly covers his ears. A strike of lightning hits a tree in the distance and catches flame. The tape is glitching really badly. 

“It feels like this entire world is AGAINST US!” she screams before the tape glitches out and falls out of the machine. It seems like the effects of neglect on this imaginary world are really taking its toll. Sophie thinks worriedly. As soon as Riley gets back… I’m going to have to do another interrogation on Carl. Until then… 

She looks for the next tape. Let’s Start the Day! 

Riley told me that there were originally two of these tapes with the same name. One with green lettering and the other with red. An Amanda verison and a Wooly version… They also said Wooly was acting really weird in his version. Oh boy. Sophie sighs and puts the tape into the VCR. The tape starts with Wooly dangling off the side of his bed upside down for some reason. 

“Um… hi Wooly, you okay there?” 

“Ah Sophie hi!” Wooly gasps, suddenly he slips off the bed and hits his head on the floor. 

“That looked like it hurt.” 

“Heh heh… it didn’t.” Wooly laughs awkwardly. 

“You still don’t feel anything?”

“Nope! But let’s not talk about that right now okay? Or ever for that matter.” Wooly pauses for a couple seconds. 

“How’s the Amandathon been? I’m not tiring you guys out am I?” 

“A little but I’m fine.” Wooly smiles, “But uh… I think Amanda has been acting… kinda off lately?” 

“Yeah. I noticed.” 

“Oh phew, so it wasn’t just me.” Wooly sighs in relief. “I haven’t seen her act like this since…” a shiver runs up his spine. 

“Since Kate first died?” 

“Mmmhmm.” he nods. What do I even say in this situation? I don’t even know what’s going on…

“Wait… it’s morning? Riley said last time it was night…” Sophie observed. Let’s just change the subject.

“For now it is, give it a second.” Wooly scoffs. She realizes that the sun keeps going up and down every couple seconds. “Yeah. It’s been like that all day… is it day? I don’t know anymore.” 

“Oh boy. Well don’t worry. As soon as Riley gets back I’m going to talk with Carl again to find a solution.” 

“I wouldn’t trust him if I were you Sophie.” Wooly says seriously. Believe me I don’t. 

“Why not?” Sophie asks. Is there something he did like… specifically?

“He worked for Hameln… and while he may have been nice he also… seemed desperate. Like he’d do anything to survive. He’d sacrifice anyone. I don’t think he’d lie or give you false information. If he says he wants to help… he probably isn’t lying… but the moment it comes at the danger of his life… he’s going to do anything to live. I know it.” Wooly says, curling himself in a cozy little ball. He looks… comfortable. Usually he doesn’t when talking about this stuff. Sophie realizes. 

“How do you know that?” 

“Well I mean, I saw it first hand… but also… I used to be like that…” 

“Really… you don’t seem the type Wooly.” 

“What can I say? I’m selfish I guess.” he shrugs. 

“You weren’t selfish Wooly, you were just in an awful position that no child should ever be placed in-” “I don’t want to hear it, Sophie.” Wooly sulks, pulling himself in tighter. There it is… he’s closing himself off again.

“Well alright… did you sleep well?” “Surprisingly, yes.” Wooly says, “I mean… I think. The clock is also not working.” he points out, the clock numbers are flipping all over the place. 

“I see… so… why are you just hanging around in your room?” 

“I can’t decide if it’s morning or not yet… like should I go back to sleep or wake up? I’m not exactly sure… hmmm…” 

“What about Amanda?”

“Oh she’s definitely sleeping. Or at least… she hasn’t left her room yet and um… I don’t know, she’s been in a mood lately that I don’t want to get testy with you know?” 

“That makes sense.” 

“Anyway… that doesn’t mean you can’t make breakfast yourself right?” 

“I suppose you're right… I am getting hungry.” Wooly says. The tape glitches to the living room. “Um hmm… this wasn’t where I was trying to go…” the tape glitches again to the bathroom. “Heh heh… whoops. Usually it just goes-” the tape glitches to the card section of the store. “Amanda must be playing some sort of prank on me right now.” the tape glitches to Amanda’s room. Wooly notices immediately she’s still asleep. He quietly tiptoes out. “Okay… so it’s not Amanda… and it’s not me… what is going on?” he wonders, tapping his chin. The tape glitches to outside. It’s still raining. Wooly looks extremely annoyed. He carefully walks into the kitchen. “I… um… wow… I hate this.” Amanda glitches onto the counter.

“Wah! Cold- Oh. Hi Wooly, why are you soaking wet?” she questions.

“Just go back to bed. I’ll make us breakfast.” Wooly sighs. 

“Um… okay?” she slowly climbs off the counter, “Weird.” She walks out of the kitchen. Wooly grabs some bread out of the now lowered cabinet. 

“Look at me, I don’t need your help anymore!” Wooly giggles proudly.  

“Aw Wooly…” Sophie says sadly. 

“Wha- Don’t feel bad! I… I can find something for you to do um um!” Wooly looks around in a panic. 

“Look Wooly, if you don’t need me I can go.” Sophie teases. 

“NO!” Wooly shouts. Sophie flinches. Wooly starts breathing heavily, like he’s about to have a panic attack. Oh yeah… I forgot that both of them are one word away from a mental breakdown at all times. 

“Wooly, Wooly buddy it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Sophie says softly. How did Riley manage these two all this time? Wooly takes a deep breath and puts the toast into the toaster. He walks over to the fridge. “Now I don’t like bacon, but Amanda is obsessed with it. So I gotta make her some.”

“You can cook bacon?” Sophie asks. Wooly stops and looks down at the floor. 

“Can I cook bacon?” he asks himself. He stands there kinda paralyzed. 

“Did you tell Amanda you’d make her bacon without actually knowing how to make bacon?” Sophie asks. Wooly nods. Oh boy. Sophie thinks. 

“I should watch the toast and make sure it doesn’t burn again.” Wooly says. Again?! Amanda, why are you letting him cook?! “Oh don’t worry I was half-asleep last time.”

“Wait Wooly, do you even know how to make bacon?” Amanda asks, walking in while rubbing her eyes groggily. 

“Amandaaaa…” Wooly whimpers. 

“Ban him from the kitchen.” Sophie says. 

“EXCUSE ME?!” Wooly snaps. Amanda bursts out laughing. 

“Don’t worry Sophie, Wooly’s actually pretty good at cooking. Except he seems to be terrible at breakfast for some reason.” Amanda explains. 

“That’s because you make breakfast this whole thing. Why can’t we just eat cereal or oatmeal?” 

“Wooly, Wooly, Wooly, breakfast is one of the few pleasures I get in this world.” Amanda says in a refined and elegant tone. Suddenly the tape glitches them both outside. It’s still raining. “GRAAH! THAT’S IT!” Wooly screams, storming back inside. “I DON’T EVEN WANT BREAKFAST ANYMORE!” Amanda can hear a door slamming all the way from down stairs. Is it just me or are their mental states far worse than before? Sophie observes. 

“Um… Wow… okay…” Amanda mumbles, walking back inside. She glitches to Wooly’s doorway. “Hey um… can I come in?” 

“I guess so.” Wooly pouts. Amanda opens the door and sees Wooly sitting on the floor still completely soaking wet.

“Come on Wooly let’s dry off and eat breakfast together, alright?” 

“Fiiiiiine.” Wooly groans. The tape ends. Riley told me to be careful around the next tape since Wooly had a bit of a freakout and Riley got hurt. I haven’t seen the demons yet but I feel like I’m treading a thin wire with that. She lets out a deep sigh and pulls out the next tape. Our New Friend. She starts the video on the camera and puts the tape into the VCR, it immediately starts to play. 

“Hi again, I’m Amanda.” Amanda smiles and waves. 

“And I’m Wooly!” Wooly beams. 

“And today we have a letter from a friend at home-” “Amanda… can we not do this episode?” Wooly questions. 

“Yeah I’m getting really tired of all of this…” Amanda sighs. “Hey Sophie? Do we have to record ALL of the tapes?” 

“I guess not…” Sophie replies. 

“Then why don’t we just skip to the shopping tape and be done with it?” Amanda groans. 

“Well… okay then…” Sophie says. Well okay then… Thank god for that. She thinks. She looks for the shopping tape in the massive pile of tapes. Maybe we should get a shelf for all these. Let’s Go Shopping… this should be the one. Honestly I’m getting a bit tired of this myself. Sophie restarts the video and puts the new tape into the VCR. 

“Hi friends, it’s me, Amanda!” Amanda beams with a friendly little wave. 

“And me, Wooly!” Wooly grins. 

“And today we’re going grocery shopping!” 

“Yaaaay!” Wooly says enthusiastically. 

“That’s the spirit, Wooly!” 

“Are we going to bring up the tax fraud thing again?” Wooly asks excitedly, bouncing up and down a little.

“You’ve become such a troublemaker Wooly!” Amanda teases. 

“I- I have not!” Wooly gasps glancing at Sophie quickly. 

“Sure Wooly, let’s go shopping!” Amanda says. The tape glitches and fades out. Tax fraud thing? Wait no I kind of want to hear about that… Sophie thinks to herself. 

“First things first, we have to go back to… the butcher…” Amanda groans. 

“We don’t have to.” Wooly reminds her. 

“We’re out of meat Wooly.” 

“We don’t need it.” 

“Maybe but I still want it.” “Then I’m staying out here.” Wooly concludes, folding his arms and planting his feet on the ground firmly, turning his back to Amanda completely. Amanda looks kind of scared. 

“C’mon Wooly, you’re not really going to make me go in there alone are you?” 

“I don’t see why I should.” 

“Wooly… please?” Amanda pleads. Wooly glances at her puppy-dog eyes and…

“That doesn’t work on me anymore, you know that.” Wooly sighs.

“Bu-but!” 

“I’m not going in there. Last time you nearly broke my hand!” 

“We can take you to the doctor.” 

“How about you just don’t break my bones?!” Wooly snaps. “Forget this, I'm going to the store.” 

“What? Why!” “I. Need. Peanut. Butter.” 

“Huh?” 

“You used up all my peanut butter and now I have NOTHING for lunch!” Wooly explains throwing his hands up in the air. “Honestly, I’m kind of done with this whole Amandathon thing so I think I’m just going to get my peanut butter and go home.” 

“You’ve been moody… this whole Amandathon… over a freaking PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH?!” Amanda shouts, clearly angry. 

“Moody? Have I been moody? Sorry I didn’t mean to be-” Wooly’s eyes widen in realization, “Wait a minute no I haven’t! If anyone has been weirdly moody this whole Amandathon it’s you.” 

“What?! I have NOT!” 

“Have to!” 

“Have not!” 

“Have to!” 

“HAVE NOT!” 

“HAVE TO!” 

“SHUT UP!” Amanda screams. Wooly flinches. 

“I won’t shut up! You always do this! Every time something is going on with you, you just get really touchy and refuse to talk to anyone about it and it really pisses me off!” 

“You don’t listen anyway!” 

“How can I listen if you don’t even talk!” Wooly snaps.

“You wouldn’t understand!” 

“Why are you just assuming that when you haven’t even told me what’s wrong?” 

“You wanna know what’s wrong? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S WRONG?!” 

“YEAH THAT’S WHY I’M ASKING YOU IDIOT!” Wooly screams. Amanda flinches. Wooly freezes. The tape glitches. “I… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell…” 

“You think I’m an idiot?” Amanda asks. 

“Kind of? Sometimes?” Wooly covers his mouth. “Oops-” Amanda doesn’t even look angry anymore. She mumbles something really quietly. “What was that?” he lifts his ear up. 

“I… I can’t feel it anymore either…” Amanda whimpers. Wooly freezes. 

“Oh.” Wooly responds awkwardly. “Why… did you think I wouldn’t understand that?” 

“It’s not just that.” Amanda says quietly, sitting down on the curb and burying her face in her hands. Wooly sits down beside her. “It just… hit me…” 

“What hit you? Huh?” he replies, completely confused, “You lost me.” 

“It just hit me that… we’re never getting out of here Wooly…” 

“Oh yeah… that…” 

“You knew all along didn’t you?” Amanda pouts, refusing to even look at him. 

“I… yeah…” 

“That’s exactly what you wanted isn’t it?”

“Maybe? Ye-yeah? Yeah…” Wooly finally admits. “But… I don’t exactly feel good about it… I… I wanted you to get out of here. I… I was going to do anything… for you to get out of here… but I… I guess in the end it doesn’t matter what I was willing to do, does it?” Wooly chuckles sadly. “I guess I’m an idiot too.” 

“We’re not idiots… we’re just kids… and now that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“Don’t… don’t say it like that… you’re gonna make me cry…” Amanda looks at him, clearly already crying. “Stop it. I’m not going to the butchers with you, this won’t work on me.” he tries to chuckle a little, but his voice cracks. Amanda gives him a big hug, burying her face in Wooly’s wool. “Amanda come on… stop crying, you’re getting snot in my wool.” 

“Not any more than you are.” Amanda teases but then she starts crying harder, “We’re really stuck like this… and we’re never getting out of here… we’re never getting out… we’re never…” 

“Amanda stop it… you’re breaking my heart…” Wooly whimpers.

“Join the club you silly sheep.” Amanda giggles sadly. Just then, they notice the opossum walking by sipping a smoothie giving them a very weird look. “Come on opossum, join the snot hug!” Amanda offers. The opossum looks back and forth at both of them with a mix of disgust and confusion. 

“I swear to Hameln if you join in the snot hug I will kill you.” Wooly grumbles, giving the opossum a death glare. 

“Don’t be like that Wooly.” 

“He’s ruining the moment!” 

“Forget the moment, Wooly, I’m feeling better now. Thanks for listening.” 

“Anytime Amanda, anytime.” Wooly smiles. Amanda stands up and reaches out her hand to help Wooly up. He looks down and realizes he actually is covered in snot. “Can we just get this over with so I can go home and have a bubble bath?” 

“Yeah but this time we’re getting you your own bottle of bubble bath.” Amanda replies. 

“Fine by me.” Wooly smiles. 

“Can you tell us where the store is?” Amanda asks. Sophie clicks on the store. Suddenly all the stores turn into the meatman’s place. “WHAT THIS AGAIN?!” 

“Why does this only happen when I decide we should go off-script?!” Wooly shouts. The opossum looks terrified and scampers behind Amanda and Wooly for protection. 

“Wait… this only happens to you but what about that time we sent the… Wooly you didn’t!” 

“Can we stop about about me being an absolute moron in the past and handle the situation in front of us!” Wooly snaps, clearly way more stressed out then Amanda. 

“Okay okay. If we just go into the butchers and get the meat it’ll be fine!” 

“Why does he want us to eat meat so badly?!” Wooly shouts. 

“I don’t know, I never thought about it to be honest! Let’s just go in and get this over with!” Amanda announces. But the opossum clings to her and shakes his head frantically. “Wait, why are you afraid of the butcher?” The opossum frantically starts playing charades pointing to the butchers and then making a neck cutting motion with his finger. “Wait… so let me make this clear. You watched Amanda the Adventurer right?” Amanda asks. The opossum nods. “And you got trapped in the tapes right?” he nods again. “And you’re saying that the meatman… butchers the people who get stuck in the tapes?” he nods once more.

"That's a bit of a leap in logic isn't it... wait... that means-" Wooly turns pale.

“Oh… oh my god… what the f***.” This time, neither Wooly nor Sophie calls her out for her language. “How did I not realize this before? Haha… oh my god… that means… oh my g-”

“Amanda, you don’t need to feel guilty about this… Hameln’s at fault not you.” Wooly tells her in a weak voice.

“Wooly… you don’t get it…” 

“Please stop assuming I don’t get things… just explain it.” 

“Wooly… when we eat meat we’re-” “Okay please stop explaining. I think I get the point.” Wooly says, looking completely grossed out and disturbed.

“What do we do? Wooly? Opossum? What do we do?” Amanda asks desperately, looking back and forth at both of them. Wooly stops and ponders, Amanda and the opossum do to. There is a period of silence while the tape just sits there, glitching. The music is distorted and the tape grows fuzzy.

“I think I have an idea…” Amanda says, breaking the silence. The two quickly whip their heads in her direction. “Why don’t we just kill the meatman?” There is a bit of stunned silence. 

“Kill… the meatman?” Wooly repeats. Amanda nods. “Kill the meatman? Are you crazy? We can’t kill the meatman? Can we? And what if he comes back? And what will it do to this world?” 

“What do we have to lose? It’s not like we can die! Besides you came back because you’re a main character, a fan-favorite. This world can’t exist without you just as much as me!” Amanda explains, waving her finger in Wooly’s face. The animation became so smooth all of the sudden. Sophie notices.  

“Fan… favorite?” 

“I mean, no one likes the butcher right?” Amanda laughs nervously, “Once we beat him, there will be no problems in this world. You know what? I like this plan! Do you like the plan, opossum?” Amanda asks. The opossum nods its head. “Come on what do you say Wooly? It could be fun.” 

“I don’t know…” Wooly says, the tape starts to glitch again. Hmm… maybe… Sophie thinks. 

“I think you should.” Sophie says. 

“Huh? Really?” Wooly gasps. 

“Worth a shot.” she shrugs. 

“You with me Wooly?” Amanda grins. 

“I…” Wooly pauses then a determined smile crosses his face, “Always.” the animation quality suddenly returns.

“Oh boy what a way to end the Amandathon right guys? I’m getting all excited!” Amanda beams. She turns around and realizes that Wooly’s legs are shaking like a baby fawn. The opossum also looks frozen in place. “Let’s go.” Amanda demands, taking them both by the arms and dragging them inside. They enter the butcher shop. Amanda also seems a bit weak in the knees all the sudden. “On second thought… why don’t we just tell the meatman what we need?” she says weakly. 

“Amanda…” Wooly says in the most disappointed tone of voice anyone has ever heard. 

“What kind of meat do we need from the meatman?” Amanda asks, giving Sophie a wink. Oh. Sophie types in meatman. “That’s right! We’re having meatman for dinner tonight!”

“So we really are just doing this then?” Wooly laughs nervously. “Okay then.”

The meatman, however, did not take kindly to Amanda’s threat and immediately raised his blade at them. “Um Amanda do we have a plan?” 

“Nope, not really.” Amanda shrugs. Amanda jumps up on the counter the meatman slams the blade down onto the cutting board "Just gonna take this.” Before the meatman can lift the knife again Amanda swipes it and slams it into the meatman’s head. Blood splatters everywhere. The meatman stops moving. She jumps off the counter. “Wow! That was so easy.” Amanda says clapping her hands together. "Why didn't we just do that sooner?" she laughs. She turns to Wooly and the opossum. “So why don’t we head to the store now?” The meatman takes the blade out of its head and lifts it above Amanda’s head. 

“Amanda, look out!” Wooly shouts, he quickly jumps in front of her and catches the blade in his hand. 

“Wooly you’re bleeding!” 

“I know right? I feel like this would usually really hurt huh?” Wooly laughs, the blade cuts right through his hands. Amanda pulls him back. 

“Oh my goodness are you okay? Of course you’re not okay… haha WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” Amanda screams, shaking him.

“My hand was gonna end up broken today one way or another.” Wooly chuckles. Amanda notices the opossum climbing up the meatman and biting viciously at his head. The meatman quickly takes him and slams him against the wall. 

“What’s going on?” Riley asks, coming through the door. 

“Amanda, Wooly, and the opossum are fighting the meatman to the death.” Sophie explains.

“Why does the interesting stuff only happen when I’m gone.” Riley sighs. The meatman looms over the three of them, raising its blade over their heads. 

“I can’t look!” Wooly whimpers, turning away and closing his eyes. 

“You are not going to hurt my friends!” Amanda screams, her demonic eyes popping out. Riley turns around and notices both demons behind them. Sophie is about to scream but Riley puts their hand over her mouth. 

“It’s okay… just lend them a bit of your power… please?” Riley pleads. They turn back to the screen. Wooly starts transforming too.

“Just... give us… five minutes… okay?” Wooly says, as if he’s trying to calm them down. The tape falls out of the machine. 

“Wait no!” Sophie cries, lunging towards it and catching it in her hands. “But…” 

“I wonder if the show’s censors would react badly to all the blood?” Riley wonders. “Or maybe Amanda and Wooly don’t want us to watch them in those forms? Or something?” 

“Still… what if they lose?” 

“They won’t. It’s Amanda and Wooly we’re talking about.” Riley says. So they chose to wait. It was the longest, most awkward five minutes of their lives. (Sitting in silence with the demons). Amanda’s was sleeping with it's head on Riley's lap, in fact Riley was surprised that it let them pet it. 

“It’s like a giant cat.” Riley whispers. “When it’s not trying to kill you…” Finally they decided to put the tape back into the VCR. When they did the whole room was covered in blood and Amanda and Wooly were panting in exhaustion. I guess the whole blood censorship theory was wrong. Riley deduces. 

“You think we did it?” Wooly asks. 

“I don’t think he can get any deader than that…” 

“I can’t believe we did that…” 

“I know. You were feral, Wooly.” 

“Don’t ever say that again.” Wooly grumbles. “I guess I just had a lot of pent up rage to let out.” 

“Maybe we should buy a punching bag then…” 

“Maybe…” 

“We should probably go home and get cleaned up before we finish shopping huh?” 

“Yeah… I feel like if I see any more blood today I’m gonna faint.” 

“Wooly I think that’s from the blood loss… hmm… I guess we should get you stitched up huh?” as Amanda says this, Sophie notices the pair are in rough shape… but the tape stopped glitching for some reason. “You too opossum. Thanks for your help today.” Amanda adds. The tape pans in the opossum laying in the corner like he’s playing dead, giving Amanda a weak thumbs up. 

“I don’t wanna go to the hospital…” Wooly groans. Amanda rolls her eyes. The tape changes to their bathroom. Wooly and the opossum are sitting in the tub while Amanda is sorting through the first aid kit. The tape changes again and Amanda is now in a different outfit, tossing her bloodied clothes into the hamper. The world seems brighter and the animation is much smoother than it’s ever been. The tape changes again to Amanda wrapping Wooly’s hand up in bandages while Wooly sits on the toilet with the cover down. 

“I don’t know what possessed you to catch that knife with your bare hands, but don’t do anything that stupid again you scared the s*** out of me!” 

“But it was cool right?” Wooly asks, sounding almost drunk. 

“Sure… it was cool Wooly. Just don’t do it again.” 

“Don’t go being about to get chopped in half again and I won’t.” he replies, swaying a little. 

“I don’t plan on it.” Amanda sighs. She helps Wooly off the toilet. “Are you okay to stand?” 

“I’m fiiiiine!” he laughs before immediately slipping in water and falling on his face. He then just lay there laughing for a bit.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him honestly.” Amanda says, looking directly at the screen. She helps Wooly up. “Maybe we should just skip shopping?” she suggests. 

“Noooo… I’m fine!” Wooly pouts. He does not look fine. Riley walks up and smacks the TV. Wooly shakes his head really hard and blinks a couple times. “What was I doing again?” 

“Wooly, are you feeling okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine. Why?” Wooly answers, sounding completely normal now. 

“How did that work?”

“So are we going shopping or…”  “I am so confused… but uh… yeah shopping!” the tape changes to outside again with all the stores lined up. The butcher’s is noticeably missing. “Can you tell me where the store is?” Amanda asks. Riley clicks on it. “That’s right!” they enter the store. “Okay so on our list we need peaches, apples, bread-” “Peanut butter.” 

“Yes Wooly, peanut butter. Bubble bath…” “What about two-in-one peanut butter and bubble bath?” Riley jokes. 

“What?” Amanda looks at them with complete confusion. 

“No.” Wooly says in a deadpan tone. 

“It’s hysterical.” Riley laughs, elbowing Amanda’s unamused demon. 

“You have guts I’ll give you that.” Sophie sighs. 

“Can you get us all the items on our list?” Amanda asks. Sophie pushes Riley out of the way and clicks on everything. Peaches, apples, bread, peanut butter, bubble bath.

“We also should get some more peach jam while we’re here.” 

“You and your peach jam.” Amanda rolls her eyes. Sophie clicks on the peach jam. 

“Do we need anything else today?” 

“Not from here.” Amanda shrugs, pulling out her list. “We need eggs from the farm for breakfast… you still eat eggs right Wooly?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Cool. So eggs… hmm… maybe we can get some bacon from the farmer…” 

“Have you learned NOTHING?” Wooly snaps. 

“Guess not huh? So… no more meat from now on… guess that’s fine… then I think eggs are the last thing on our list for the day.” 

“The last thing on the list for my day is a glass of warm milk and SLEEP.” Wooly groans leaning over backwards dramatically. 

“Milk! I almost forgot. I think we can get some at the farm too, right?” Amanda asks.

“I don’t caaaare let’s just get this over with.” 

“Why are you so bored all of the sudden?” Amanda’s eyes widen in realization. “Wait… is this because we got your peanut butter? Now you have no interest in this trip?” Wooly looks away and doesn’t answer. Amanda looks at him with annoyance. She grabs his arm and drags him to the farm. 

“Let’s tell the Scarecrow what we need!” Amanda announces. The tape pans to the motionless smiling scarecrow farmer once again. Wait… how did the farmer shear Wooly anyway? Sophie wonders then decides it’s best not to overthink a kids show, regardless of its origins. Riley types in wool.

“We already have plenty of that from the last episode.” Wooly pouts. “I’m only back to normal since you're rewatching old episodes!” I don’t get how that works but okay. Sophie thinks. 

“What are you even talking about? What happened?” Riley asks.

“Wooly got sheared.” Amanda answers. 

“Oh ho ho! I need to hear more about this.” 

“Quit teasing them!” Sophie scolds.

“No you don’t! Just answer the dang question!” Wooly shouts, seeming kind of bashful about the whole thing. Riley rolls their eyes and types in eggs. The scarecrow no-clips off screen and then just appears back in with eggs. Amanda grins, wildly amused by this. 

“I much prefer the Scarecrow to the butcher.” she giggles. “What else do we need?” Riley types in milk. “We need regular milk and kitten milk please.” Amanda says. Suddenly the Scarecrow starts making noise like one of the adults in the Peanuts holiday specials. “No you cannot have your cat back. She’s mine and I love her. Though…” she glares at the tv, “none of you have given me name ideas for her yet!” 

“How did you understand that?” Wooly asks, thoroughly confused. The Scarecrow sheds a tear and disappears once again, returning with some milk and kitten milk. 

“Can we get some more cat food too please?” Amanda asks. The Scarecrow disappears and reappears again. “Thank you! Have a great day!” the tape changes back to home. Where Amanda realizes the opossum is trying to eat the kitten. She separates them immediately. 

“Bad opossum bad! This kitten is not food!” Amanda scolds holding the opossum at arms length in one arm and the kitten close to her chest in the other. The opossum hisses at her and she gives him a death glare. He shuts up. She drops him on the floor and he scampers behind Wooly. 

“I don’t know what you're expecting from me. I still want you dead.” Wooly admits in the most flat, emotionless voice ever. The opossum slowly backs away. 

“My poor baby? Did he hurt you? Oh he must’ve frightened you so much! He’s a bad bad bad opossum! Don’t worry! I will never ever ever let that terrible creature anywhere or any other dangers bring harm to a hair on your little head you understand me? You are mama’s little girl. Yes you are. Yes you are. My precious little baby.” Amanda says in a babyish voice, coddling the cat to bits with kisses and snuggles. 

“She didn’t react that way when the opossum attacked me earlier.” Wooly scoffed. The kitten hisses and scratches Amanda’s face before kicking away and jumping to the floor. She isn’t even phased. She doesn’t even look mad. She turns to Wooly and smirks. 

“Oh Wooly… are you jealous?” Amanda asks. 

“Not… particularly.” 

“Oh poor Wooly! Feeling all left out cause Amanda isn’t paying attention to him.” Amanda continues the baby voice routine. “Okay stop that.” 

“Don’t worry Wooly, I can protect you too! You’re my very precious special best friend after all.” 

“This is weird. You know this is weird.” Wooly says, looking incredibly disturbed. Amanda gives him a big hug. “Get off me. I’m not your cat.” “Of course not! You’re my favorite sheep!” 

“That’s it.” Wooly grumbles shoving Amanda off him. She immediately bursts out laughing. 

“Oh my gosh teasing you is the best Wooly!” 

“Yeah whatever… I’m gonna go… do something.” 

“Yeah like what?” 

“I don’t know… I don’t care… all I know is that bedtime can’t come soon enough…” Wooly groans, going to walk off. 

“You know, you’ve been a really great friend lately, Wooly…”

“Where is this coming from?” Wooly asks, completely caught off guard. 

“I was struggling and feeling really bad and you were there for me this time.” 

“Yeah?” 

“So thank you Wooly.” 

“You’re… welcome? I guess?” Wooly replies, sounding completely confused. Amanda smiles at him. 

“Before you go, wanna… close out the Amandathon with me?” 

“Sure…” 

“Well everyone that’s it for the Amandathon! Thanks for tuning in! Catch your pal Amanda…” “And you’re best friend Wooly next time on Hameln Jr!” 

“Oh man. That was nostalgic.”

“You can say that again.”

“Oh man. That was nostalgic.” 

“I didn’t mean that literally.” 

“I know. That should be enough material for old tapes right guys?” Amanda asks. 

“Yep.” 

“Okay then! Thanks for playing with us!” Amanda grins. 

“See you next time!” Wooly beams. The tape falls out of the VCR.

Authors Note: Okay so from now on these tapes are gonna have very little continuity. I might keep the fantape lore in some of them because it's so fun but yeah... I have no idea how the Amanda series is gonna end and thus have no idea how to end this fic series. So from now on it's going to be the silly adventures of Amanda and Wooly! This will probably be the longest fic of the series, so I hope you enjoy. PLEASE LET ME KNOW THINGS YOU NOTICED AND YOUR FAV PARTS IN THE COMMENTS! THANKS TO ALL WHO ENJOYED THIS SERIES THUS FAR. I'll still prolly write some fics here and there... just... for funsies. Ya know?

BTW WHAT ARE WE NAMING THE CAT I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN SUGGESTIONS!

Anywho have a nice day and a lovely holidays if you celebrate any!

[hephaestiions]

day 21 of @hprecfest — a fic rated M | previous recs

author rec! more importantly: tacky rec! evocative, poignant & mature (heh), @tackytigerfic's works are charmed slices of aching life. tacky has a gift for making a meal out of the mundane: their style is imbued with the hush of a glade, something quiet that burrows under your skin and expands there. writing about magic lends itself to the excitement of outlandish predicaments— fuck or die marriage bonds, werewolves, time travel— but i love how tacky takes these improbabilities as opportunities to explore the vulnerable and common humanity that fuels love, friendship, desire, grief. i'd take a chance on tacky's spin on every ship, every trope & every circumstance, purely because i'm convinced they'd take as good care of me as a reader as they do their brilliant, complicated, messy characters.

i chose tacky's M-rated works because i think they best demonstrate how narrative pleasure can, and often does, lie outside the graphic. for an action-oriented, fast-paced reader like me, fics that hold my attention through careful tension & hard-earned payoff are especially enthralling. everything tacky writes, regardless of rating, is glorious & an instant recommendation, but when i think of especially fascinating work with a rating that doesn't usually hold space in my preferences, it's these:

between the power lines (M, 3.2k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

an elaboration & attestation to my personal maxim: to fall in or out of love with someone, take a trip with them. glory be that these two do, glory be that it's the former. this fic stretches and softens with every word, like resin in the sun.

the long fall (M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

vignettes from a life & love that glow hotter with every change. every word exchanged carries the weight of so much history, care & consideration. the dynamic is sweet & achy, a take on new parenthood that leans entirely into the uncertainty & joy of changing realities.

last offices (M, 6.7k) (mcd)

It didn't seem fair that Malfoy was dead, and Harry was supposed to just keep on living without him.

i reread everything before reccing, but i couldn't bring myself to reread this one because of the sharp, acute devastation of it. pain, regret, grief, dialled up to the extreme and done shatteringly well. the non-linearity of this fic is especially cruel; the heartbreak is never allowed to settle. 100% recommended!

our little life (M, 7.2k)

Sometimes Harry dreams. Only they're not really dreams at all, and Malfoy is always in them. It's time travel, but not as we know it, and Harry just needs a good night's sleep.

entire lives woven into snippets of togetherness, the call of something distant yet inevitable. harry dreams of universes with draco, which is to say, harry dreams of universes where he's loved. also includes the absolutely stellar line: Harry wondered if there was any possible universe in which Malfoy wasn’t an absolute dick about his dad.

take the moon (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. This isn't the story of the marriage. This is the story of two hurt and damaged men who learned how hard they could work for the sake of love.

two men who don't quite know how to allow what they want fully into their lives, a slow crunch of yearning, the even heat of a dynamic that holds itself away from the brink, brilliantly satisfying when they give into the fall.

in conclusion: a stellar author with a flair for the understated whose works call to be savoured. as always, if you love them (it's tacky, who doesn't?), let me know!

[icarusredwings]

Welcome to Tonys Pizza

Tonys is used to having heros (and likewise) frequent their joint. Mr. Laufeyson want a pie? Got it. Peter want a slice? A comin right up. Hell! A cocker spaniel and a mutt wanna kiss out back over a meta balla? Fuck it. This is new york! As long as dem dogs aint from jersey.

But one of their longest, and possibly weirdest customers is- you guessed it. Wade.

Here at Tonys we got one saying. You make miya mama cry? You getta slap with da pie. Unfortunately this was true until a lawsuit in '17.

But the point still stands.

So one day, when their friend comes with a bit of extra peperoni on him? Who are they to judge? However, They DO heavily judge the fact that he just ordered a large supreme minus everything except the olives and pineapple.

"What!?? Wade you're gonna make me ma cry!" Tony jr (Tony, being his father, who tragically passed when a group of fellas thought 'pizza' was code for dope and not actual pizza) yells, throwing his hands up.

"I know, I know, but you did it for me last time!"

"Last time, my father also kept pineapples just for you in the fridge! Can't be doing that anymore, bad for business."

"Oh but the rat manning the brick oven isn't?"

"Wha!- Who told you bout- cha know what? Fine. Fine!! Aye Vinny! Our pal Wade here wants the usual!"

"WHAT!?" Came from the kitchen before a man comes out, a long rat tail in the back under his hat. You can take this literally or metaphorically.

I don't care. Im just tellin this story not writing it.

"You want me a go buy a whole pineapple just for one pizza!?"

"Yes."

He sighs, loudly taking off his apron and slammed it on the counter, muttering under his breath. "Why always the crazy ones? Move to new york ma said. Its good buisness ma said. ALWAYS the crazy ones!"

"Love ya vinnnyyy~" Wade cooes, watching him leave. Just as he does, The bell rings again. He leans on the counter with a happy grin.

"Welcome to Tonys! Ya make my mama a- c-Cry?!"

"What's taking so long?" Logan grumbles, having just wanted to go home already.

"You're the wolverine.. ThEE wolverine! Aha!! I need to call my mom! She's not gonna believe this! The Wolverine is in OUR shop!!"

Wade giggles, watching as Logan tilts his head at the attention. "Whats with him?"

"You're the Wolverine, bucko. That's a big deal around this place. Now, what do you want on your pizza, big boy?"

".. they do chorizo?"

"Mhmmm~ why? In the mood for some sausage?" Wade teases, smirking more as he coud hear Tony on the phone in the back.

"Ma! Its him! Its really him! Yeah- no, Im lookin at him!"

"....people like you Logan." Wade smiles to him, seeing him frown. "..They like the old Logan.. they think im him."

Wade's toothy grin expands, standing and leaning against him. "With all due respect, Loagie? You're nothing like him. And I love that."

"Hm."

_____

"Alright thank you guys!"

"No problemo, extra pepperoni!" Tony calls, smilin because his tip jar was now full.

"What the fuck did he just call you?" Logan turns. It wasn't hard to tell he was nicknamed this after his skin.

Putting a hand on his forearm, Wade giggles. "Easy tiger. It's an inside joke. When I first came back- like this" he gestures to his face" I asked them for extra pepperoni. They asked how much, and I said as much as I got on my face. Ever since he's called me extra pepperoni. Hey why do you get to be "super cool wolverine" and im just extra pep?"

Logan shrugs, taking the pizza box as he looks at the label, stopping on a fairly not busy side walk a few houses from the apparentment.

"Wait a sec... Wade.. you did tell them one of these were mine right?"

"Huh? What do you mean? I.. I thought I did?"

Opening the boxes, there stood two perfect pinapple olive, chorizo pies. Steaming and ready to be devoured.

The label on the receipt said "Poolverine special"

Logan cringes. "You put pineapple on our pizza??"

But Wade gasps, eyes lighting up. "Sweet salty AND spicy!! Logan, you're a genius!!"

Lets just say.. Wade picked off all the pineapple from Logan's half of the pizza, and he definitely would be returning for more poolverine specials..

Inspired by @sirwadewilsonfromimgur

Enjoy your very stereotypical ficlet

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

S7 ep 1 compliant mini fic with established Corvus (Cause Sorens face was bloody in one scene and clean in the next one somehow)

Maybe a bit similar to the one I posted a few days earlier, but who cares.

"Oh, right. Right! Because I'd be dead!"

Corvus could only shake his head at Sorens antics. Not without smiling though. The relief of seing him alive was strong, and gave him enough energy to stay on his feet even after the long day followed by flying for hours.

Though seeing the castle like this really was terrible. They had seen the smoke from far away already, and it wasn't much better up close.

Their capitol. Their castle. The home of Ezran, Callum and Soren. And well, after two years also his home, though this was obviously much worse for his friends who had grown up here. But Ezran was with Callum for the moment, so he could focus on Soren.

"Opeli is on the way to the Banther lodge with most people." Soren said while keeping his arm around Corvus shoulder. "I stayed here with some guards to keep the fires under control and look for uhh... stuff."

"You mean anything salvagable?" He didn't mentioned the ever so slight shaking of Sorens hand on his shoulder. Or the quite trembling of his voice. It would most probably just lead to Soren closing his walls.

"Yeah. Yeah! That. Also Barius and some others are going to the sorrounding towns for supplies and help to set up cam- what are you doing?"

Corvus had put his hand up to Sorens face. Unable to ignore the blood on the blonde mans face and hair any longer. He turned around to properly face his partner, Sorens hand not leaving him but sliding on his other shoulder instead when he moved.

"What happened?", Corvus asked. Lightly tracing his thumb over the streak of blood going through Sorens eyebrow. He didn't flinch so either he had pushed the thought of injuries to the back of his head, wouldn't be the first time, or it wasn't as bad as it looked. Corvus guessed for both, head wounds were nasty bleeders after all but Soren was also extremely stubborn and ignorant about his own wounds at times.

"Oh that?" Soren took his hand of his shoulder to poke his own forehead, with a bit more force than Corvus liked him to do. "Right. A flying stone hit me. Not as in the Stone knowing how to fly. Just a stone from the rubble flying into my face."

Corvus hummed while taking Sorens hand away from his face with his own to stop the poking. He would probably hear the whole story later. After everyone had time to collect themselves a bit.

His free hand started looking through his pockets while not letting go of Sorens in his other hand.

"So how was the wedding? Probably fancier than a burning castle. Though it was a sunfire elf wedding, so maybe they have some traditions about burning stuff?"

"Not exactly.", Corvus answered. You could probably say that Queen Janais relationship to her brother burned to ashes, but that would be a pretty rude oversimplification of the matter. He could also still feel the bruises from when Karims followers captured him during the battle. "The wedding is a... long story."

"Later?", Soren asked.

"Later.", Corvus agreed.

Finally he found the clean handkerchief he usually kept on him. Though honestly surprised it was still there and clean after everything. And finally Soren showed a reaction to his wounds when Corvus reached up to his forehead again.

"Ah." Soren's face flinched. Corvus might have not even noticed if he hadn't spend so much time of the last two years studying the other man. "You don't... have to. It's dried anyway."

For a moment Corvus wanted to ask if he was okay, but... that question seemed senseless in the current situation. But he could see that the adrenaline was starting to leave Sorens body. And there was a look in his eyes that was all to familiar to Corvus.

Right. Lord Viren was in the dungeon while Katolis had burned down. So what happened to him?

"We should still clean it up.", Corvus settled on. He let go of Sorens hand to cup his face instead in both hands, looking into blue eyes.

Sorens skin was warm, which confused Corvus a bit. His partners skin was usually ever so cold, but now warmth was somehow streaming from his body into Corvus hands.

"Your warm.", Corvus stated. "Do you have a fever?"

"Heh, well, most people would probably call this a normal body temperature."

Soren tried to crack a smile, but Corvus just raised an eyebrow.

"It's just from... the fire. Well. Kinda. But it's wearing of already." Soren laid one of his hands over Corvus', as if to prove it, even if his hands were usually even cooler than the rest anyways. "Everybody who was here is running hot right now. But as I said. It's wearing of already. You're gonna have your walking iceblock back soon enough."

There was obviously something Soren was leaving out in his story, but Corvus decided it would be better to talk about this later. As well as the unavoidable topic of wether Viren was dead or alive.

Later, Corvus thought. Later was good.

He ran his right thumb over Sorens eyebrow again, rubbing some dried blood of in the process. Soren responded by lowering his head until their foreheads meat.

"I... I'm...", Soren stuttered.

"It's okay. I've got you."

He could feel Sorens other hand landing on his shoulder and gripping on to him.

"I know."

"But now, really, let's find some water to get all that blood of your face."

"Hm, okay. Yeah. You're probably right."

"It's also in your hair."

"WHAT?" Soren promptly jumped back to check his hair. "Why did not nobody tell me?!"

[astrowarr]

obsessed with your dl analysis. scar hurts himself [to hurt grian] while grian opens up because it sets the precedent, i think. it's his first decision after he discovers (or can't pretend not to know anymore but. y'know. unreliable narrator will unreliably narrate.) that FOR SURE grian is his soulmate and by going and punching the jellie it establishes their dynamic as scar keeping grian hostage in a way? or testing him? considering that he actively weaponizes it later in a soulmate torture for no apparent reason at all, it reads to me as almost punishing. again, all scar has been saying since the start of this season is that he doesn’t need a soulmate, that he doesn’t want to know who he’s bonded to, etc. and grian forces him to acknowledge the bond, keeps on insisting that they base together, that they work together, that they are together because they are soulmates. all the things that scar is averse to. explicitly. now, i don't know what would happen if grian left scar alone before that point or gave up on him after that punch, because we know that grian is incapable of giving up on scar and that universe does not exist, BUT. i think that scar genuinely wanted to be left alone there, "there" meaning the whole season. and after he didn't have that choice - because grian asked him to base together and scar is incapable of denying grian - he wants a little payback? maybe? another thought is that after all of that in scar's eyes grian goes and 'forges his own destiny' with his 'secret soulmate'. his blame can so easily intertwine itself with grian's guilt and they both need to die.

oh im obsessed with this thank you so much for some beautiful scar goodtimes insight... i was definitely also considering the payback theory you mentioned, especially when you think about the fact that prior, grian had Dropped dripstone on his head. and actually, now that I think about it, i feel so much of his behavior might be desperate attempts to attain some sense of control over his circumstances?

i totally agree that the torture was always a form of punishment. i think a big miscommunication between scarian at all points in time is that grian, as a character, holds a lot of agency. he highly prioritizes Choices, and hates relinquishing control. he can't fathom staying anywhere or doing anything he doesn't want to, so what he doesn't understand is that scar isn't like that. when it comes to grian, scar does not care.

he will do literally anything so long as grian stays by his side. like you said, he is physically incapable of denying grian. but on grian's part he cannot even consider that scar is sacrificing anything for him here, because he wouldn't do that. he doesn't think he's ruining any of scar's soulmateless plans because he just fundamentally doesn't understand the power he holds over scar. part of that misunderstanding is definitely by scar's design, who is allergic to letting anyone Know him, especially post last life

it definitely makes sense why scar would be frustrated. a lot of his problems in last life were forged by his choicelessness: his only friend turned red and was forced to cut ties with him, the boogeyman curse continued to alienate him further, it goes on. so here he is in double life, ready to start anew, but then here comes grian his soulmate, asking for his hand. grian, who just by virtue of existing enacts upon scar a specific brand of choicelessness. and now scar is coming to terms with the fact that his feelings for this force of nature of a man have bound him to powerlessness ONCE AGAIN!! FOR THE REST OF HIS LIVES!! and it places him in this gross push-pull where he doesn't want grian but he Also can't help but want him desperately .. and that's how we get his behavior throughout DL. dear God i just love him

[fickleminder]

Three's A Party

Team Partyyyyy enjoys a little holiday celebration in the attic.

This is my gift to @xcyberbuniix for the @obeymeholidayexchange event! Happy holidays and have a great year ahead :)

"Exams are over…"

"Lucifer is out of the house…"

"It's time to PAR-TEH!"

Three party poppers went off at the same time, showering the floor in glitter and confetti. Mammon gave a loud whoop and threw his hands up, nearly dislodging the little sheep perched on his shoulder.

"Whoa, watch it Mammon!"

"Sorry MC!"

Asmo tutted and plucked MC from his older brother's grasp. "Mammon, you really should be more careful with dear MC!"

"I said I was sorry!" Mammon pouted.

"Don't worry about it!" MC fiddled with a party hat, struggling to strap it onto their head without getting it caught by their horns. Darn these tiny hooves. "It's the start of the holidays; we should be celebrating and having fun!"

"Seconded~" Asmo reached over to smooth down their fur and help them put the hat on. "Though I still think we should have gone to The Fall. They just introduced exclusive year end cocktails to their menu!"

"The last time you two brought me there, you ditched me to go dancing and some other demon spilled their drinks all over me," MC huffed. "Besides, it's been a while since the three of us got to hang out together, so I thought we could just keep it small in the house tonight."

"Of course! Who wouldn't want to spend time with The Great Mammon?" The second born grinned as he grabbed a pile of snacks from the nearby table. "C'mon, let's have some grub and get this party started!"

Belphie would have raised a stink if he'd known the three of them brought food and drinks into the attic, but they were in the clear so long as they cleaned up before he got back. Beel had taken him out for a walk in the snow (though MC suspected Beel probably ended up giving his twin a piggyback ride or something), which was also how they even had food to sneak into the attic to begin with. Two birds with one stone, as the saying went.

"Ooh, these poison berries are to die for!" Asmo dabbed his mouth with a napkin after each handful and checked his compact mirror for stains.

Next to him, Mammon was crunching loudly on some spicy newt chips. "Why'd you gotta be so healthy all the time, Asmo? Live a little!"

"I dunno, I think they taste pretty good together!" Like the menace they were, MC arranged a few berries on an extra large chip before shoving the entire thing into their mouth. "Mm, yummy!"

"…Humans are so weird."

"You can say that again."

"Hey! You haven't tasted weird until you've had eggnog…"

The conversation quickly shifted to the bizarre stuff — by demon standards, at least — that often popped up during holidays in the human world.

"I'm telling ya, it's technically the corpse of a tree. You chop 'em down specifically to decorate and then display them in your house."

"…I guess!"

"Oh don't go frowning like that MC, you'll get wrinkles!"

Mammon snickered. "Man, if we had one of those in the House of Lamentation, I can totally picture Levi putting all his stupid dolls on it!"

"Do you think Satan would hang cat treats or just cat-related merch?" MC wondered out loud.

"Both, darling, definitely both." Asmo shook his head in mock exasperation. "And then he'll lug the entire tree outside after the holidays are over and use it as an oversized cat lure in the garden or something."

"Well if he's gonna play stupid games like that…"

"Lucifer's gonna kick his ass?"

"Bingo!"

The three of them laughed at the mental image. The other brothers were incorrigible, but that was what made their family so unique.

"Speaking of games, what's a party without some? I vote for Seven Minutes in Hell~" Asmo proposed, raising his cup.

"Don't you mean Heaven?" MC tilted their head in confusion.

The fifth born licked his lips and fixed them with a sultry gaze. "Did I stutter?"

Mammon immediately jumped in-between them and scooped MC off the floor, keeping them far away from Asmo's clutches. "Oi, oi! None of that, ya hear?"

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Mammon! I'll make sure you get your turn too~"

"What if the two of you end up in the closet together?" MC snarked, not exactly pleased to have been hoisted up so suddenly. Just because they were small and fluffy didn't mean they could be carried around like a stuffed toy!

Mammon and Asmo shuddered at the thought and exchanged horrified glances.

"…Yeah, no, maybe we should play something else."

"Agreed."

But Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare weren't as fun with only three participants, and Never Have I Ever wasn't getting anyone drunk fast enough.

"This is harder than I thought… Any more ideas, MC?" Mammon scratched his head.

"During the parties I attended back in the human world, we would usually have food and drinks and then sit around to chat and generally just chill." MC paused for a while before sighing loudly. "Damn, I'm getting old."

Asmo perked up at a thought. "How about some Devil Kart? We can borrow Levi's console to set up here; I'm sure he won't mind!"

Mammon fist pumped the air. "Aw yeah, that's a great idea! He should be out queuing for some nerdy stuff in town. I can get us into his room, no problem!"

"But he doesn't like it when you take his stuff without asking—" MC tried to protest, the only voice of reason among the three.

"I'm sure Mammon won't pilfer anything else to sell. Isn't that right, Mammon?" Asmo asked with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"Uh, of course! You know me, haha… Demon's honor!"

"Then there's no problem!" Asmo's smile returned as he hopped to his feet. "Now let's go before I die of boredom!"

Outnumbered, MC rolled their eyes before toddling after them. "Don't come crying to me if Simeon puts coal in both your stockings again this year."

"Wait, what?!"

[jess-the-vampire]

Quick question one fan to another. Do you think Phillip knew he was related to Eda & Lilith? And would have knowing about his family made any difference or was he just too far gone?

genuinely? hard to tell

i mean dana claims "Some people do know"

and philip COULD of been one of them, and you could say that's a factor in why eda and lilith are targeted the way they were

but on another hand, you can also kinda sum that up as a result of remembering lilith from his past and therefore disliking her from that, and eda herself being the prime example of rebellion against his authority

there's nothing in the show that concretely proves he knew

especially since a lot of it relies on knowing about what happened with caleb and evelyn, which once again, is left with a lot of wiggle room

like we don't even know if philip actually knew evelyn's last name at all, or if he knew of her or about her long enough for that

when that stuff is all pretty vauge it's just yeahhhhh

if we are to assume Philip knew evelyn was pregnant he would have to be AWARE caleb has witch decedents probably, but he wasn't in power till 50 years ago, so i don't also see how he could keep an eye on caleb's entire family line either for 400 years

also also, maybe philip went after evelyn and said kid, maybe he just...gave up after caleb died and moved onto other things (It's still not even clear how evelyn got his door after all, if we are to assume it's evelyn's doing, because the door appears to be post caleb death)

(Look, i've been over this a few times, this timeline kinda doesn't really make sense, i'm kinda not convinced the crew planned out a proper timeline of events for the wittebanes because there are things that currently kinda don't make sense)

yeah idk, it's kinda left more up to your interpretation, like if you see belos as knowing nothing really proves you wrong

but yeah, nothing proves it right either, philip had plenty of other established reasons to single out lilith and eda outside of that concept.

i don't think it would of made any difference nonetheless, like maybe if philip saw his niece/nephew as more human then witch there could of been a dynamic of him thinking he could "Fix" them, but on another hand philip is shown to not trust anything and anyone who isn't a human like him.

The guy is very much been brainwashed by how he grew up to believe everything he doesn't understand is trying to manipulate him and hurt him, and i don't think any family he may have in the clawthornes would make him see witches differently

honestly i wouldn't be shocked if in his mind, evelyn and caleb having a kid to him is like a demon stealing someone he held dear to use for offspring because of how deluded he is about this stuff

granted, that also depends heavily on how you think philip assumes about the situation, him believing caleb was under a spell and him believing Caleb did everything of his own will have DRASTICLY different implications about why he did what he did.

so yeah, if you're to ask me this is all more of the same "This is kinda supported by canon but is also kinda not" stuff that is kinda all over the wittebane backstory in general

if we ever get that wittebane backstory, they have a lot of clear up here because there's a lot left to interpretation and it's kinda why people have very drastically different opinions on how aspects of this character were handled.

guy should of been destroyed at the end no matter what of course, but

people seeing him as a more tragic unredeemable villian doomed from the beginning due to growing up in extremism as a child and no guidance to pull him out of it so he just got worse and worse, and people who see him as just an asshole who never cared about his brother and was perfectly capable of getting out of his brainwashing is very much a result of leaving a lot of this stuff kinda up to interpretation

[scoobydoodean]

Continuing in 7.11, Sam assumes it should be Dean's job as Bobby's oldest child to not just call people, but also decide if "they" should call people (when he really seems to just mean, "Dean, you should call all of Bobby's friends and tell them he's dead. Not me though".)

The first week, the brothers spend grieving in Bobby's cabin alone. The second and third week, they've been trying to figure out what the numbers that Bobby wrote on Sam's palm mean. Dean is obsessed with figuring out the numbers, seeing it as his duty to find out what Bobby thought was so important about them. He later says to Frank frantically, "Bobby died for those numbers!" But having come up with nothing after 1-2 weeks, there's no momentum left, and Sam's mind starts wandering back to the grieving process (as they both note at the end of 7.11—they just want to work—but the numbers aren't a suitable distraction for Sam anymore).

SAM: Dean, you know, um... I wonder if – if we... I mean, should we be telling people? I mean, people he knew. DEAN: How long ago did I give Frank these numbers? It's been a few weeks, right? What, is he nuts, or is he just being rude? SAM: Probably both. Dean, I-I asked you a question.

Sam says "we" should be telling people... but he doesn't really mean "we". The way he pushes Dean to decide makes it clear that it's not really "we should call people" it's "you should call people". Dean is still hyper-focused on the numbers, ignores Sam, and starts worrying about Frank.

DEAN: Unless, of course, something happened to him. He can't get to the phone because a Leviathan ate his face. SAM: Yeah, also a possibility. DEAN: We should go check on him. SAM: Dean, do you want to call Bobby's people or not?

Sam pushes harder, trying to make Dean answer, and finally, Dean stops ignoring him, and pushes back, but still continues with the "we" and "our" that they both already know just means "Dean":

DEAN: W-why is – why is that our job? SAM: Because who else is gonna do it?

Oof. "Because who else is going to do it?" Might be the theme of Dean's entire life. There's always an expectation for Dean to do jobs he doesn't feel equipped to do, simply because no one else is there to do it, from caring for Sam most of the time growing up in place of an actual adult, to consoling his own father, to hunting and saving the world every time it starts to self-destruct which he last said only two episodes ago is exhausting him to the point of an emotional breakdown. Only calling people suddenly seems to be very important to Sam, and Sam could absolutely do that on his own (or at least start the process on his own) but he's determined to get Dean to do it instead (otherwise he wouldn't keep asking so insistently) and Dean knows that. So Dean reveals that Sam's "we" isn't really a "we" but a "you" by suggesting Sam do it alone:

DEAN: I'm not calling anybody. If you want to, you go right ahead. SAM: I don't want to call anybody. You kidding me?

Sam's response—dropping the subject the moment it's suggested that he take the lead on calling people instead of Dean? Again—he never meant we.

Not a lot to say about 7.10 "Death's Door" which presents a pretty clear (and I think very touching) narrative. But one thing I want to talk about is Sam and Dean's responses to Bobby being at death's door and Dean filling the assumed role as the oldest, handling most practical matters surrounding their adoptive father's hospitalization and death (and being afforded far less breathing room partly as a consequence). We already know from 3.10 that Dean is Bobby's emergency contact. In that same episode, Dean refers to Bobby as his father for the first time. Dean makes the same claim in 4.01, and of course—in 7.10, Bobby makes it very clear that he sees Sam and Dean as his sons.

The first way we see Dean taking on the practical role as the oldest son is by facing the initial news about Bobby's condition from the doctor alone. Whether it's good or bad, he knows he has to be the one to hear it. Dean stands tall but rigid—bracing himself. In contrast, Sam noticeably hangs in the background. He isn't ready to shoulder any of the information about Bobby's condition yet without his older brother as a buffer.

Sam is looking very little brother shaped when the doctor leaves and Dean turns around to see how Sam is reacting to the news that Bobby is stable.

Notice how Sam stands—as far back against the wall as possible. Dean had been standing right in front of the door to Bobby's room when the doctor emerged. In contrast, Sam's position protected him from having a direct line of sight into Bobby's room when the curtains opened, because he can't look.

Note: I'm not judging Sam for this. It's a reasonable reaction to the fear of losing a loved one. I also think it's in keeping with Sam's previous avoidance of situations that would force him to confront Bobby possibly not making it or in a tenuous emotional state (some examples where I've talked about this here and here and here... or more generally—#sam and bobby).

Sam's feeling more ready to face news about Bobby's condition at Dean's side the next time we see the brothers. They're being told it's possible that Bobby will live, but that he has high swelling, and they can't operate until it goes down. They're also told that most people with this injury die, and "Right now, it all comes down to [Bobby]".

Immediately after the doctor finishes telling them this, with no time to process it, a man comes in asking for Bobby's next of kin, clearly needing to settle some practical matter (Dean initially assumes related to insurance) once again, Dean handles this alone. We see him framed at the very end of the hallway in a separate area, Sam once again noticeably absent.

Dean isn't even being asked about insurance (which he's already not happy about) but about donating Bobby's organs. This guy's timing is absolutely awful. He also assumes Bobby will die, when Dean is focused on just having been told that Bobby could still make it, which makes Dean very upset.

THEN Dean exists the hospital to cool off, and yet again fills the role of the oldest son by inheriting the role of avenger. He sees and confronts Dick Roman alone in the parking lot, swearing to avenge Bobby (which Dean does at the end of the season—as he did John and Mary in 2.22). Dean's actually so confident and scary that—for all his gloating bravado and soulless smiles—Dick appears genuinely threatened for a moment (of course—we already knew from Dick's master plan to get rid of them in 7.06 that he takes The Winchesters seriously as a threat).

While Dean's been gone handling "insurance" (Dean says that's what it was about when Sam asks) and measuring dicks with Dick (which he does mention to Sam), Sam's worked himself up to looking into Bobby's room from a distance.

It's here that Dean asks for an update, and Sam is in the position of being the one to have received news about Bobby that Dean doesn't know yet. Bobby's swelling is going down and he's breathing on his own, which are both good signs. But the doctors aren't sure about surgery yet because it could be risky, and there's dead brain tissue. Bobby's currently stable, but Sam has begun to face the fact that Bobby might not make it. Note that he’s also had time to process alone after hearing the latest news. Dean hasn’t.

Sam then asks to talk to Dean and starts walking out of sight of Bobby again, and here's where he pulls his signature Sam maneuver: Trying to process what he's trying to face through Dean, by trying to make it a problem that Dean hasn't accepted the possibility that Bobby might not make it... when there's not... actually any real reason to push Dean to "accept" that possibility right now. If Bobby had been in intensive care for weeks, that would be one thing... but it hasn't even been 24 hours since he was shot. Whether Bobby has a high probability of making it or not, Dean really hoping he will... isn't actually a problem Dean needs to "deal" with right now for his emotional health or any other reason.

SAM: Can I talk to you? DEAN: What? Talk about what? SAM: You know what. DEAN: No, we're not gonna have that conversation. SAM: Well, we need to. DEAN: He's not gonna die. SAM: He might. DEAN: Sam. SAM: Dean, listen – we need to brace ourselves. DEAN: Why? SAM: Because it's real. DEAN: What do you want to do? You want to hug and – and say we made it through it when Dad died? We've been through enough.

Sam's choice of words here—"because it's real"—isn't an accident. When Dean walks out, Sam sits and immediately presses his thumb into his palm—the action he uses to dispel hallucinations of Lucifer—who is no doubt mocking him and taunting him with hope of Bobby making it being a pipe dream. We know from 6.22 that one of hallucifer's taunts is that Sam never even left The Cage and all of this has been an elaborate hoax to give Sam hope then completely crush his spirit. As a result, Sam feels he needs to go ahead and accept the worst case scenario so that "Lucifer" can't crush him with despair he wasn't ready to feel.

The thing is... this is a problem very specific to Sam. It may be a reality Sam needs to accept on a particularly quick timeline, but it isn't a "we" situation—it's a "me" situation, and what's "good" for Sam isn't necessarily "good" for Dean. There's nothing here that Dean needs to "accept" at this stage. It's not fair to claim he's in denial. Dean's "crime" here is wanting to hope in something he’s been told is possible, and he doesn't appreciate Sam trying to make that a problem and trying to take his hope away prematurely. But Sam finds he needs to "accept", and instead of facing that within himself, tries to make it a problem Dean is having that Sam needs to force him to work through.

[xenninx]

apocalyptic love, i wanna ride until we die

slash ft myles kennedy and the conspirators my beloved pt2

somebody in the family needs to know how to play poker👓

[bandzboy]

i’ve been meant to talk about this but a lot twt stans have been agreeing to this which is we should boycott hybe fully and genuinely! they openly work with zionists (here's a thread that explains more about scooter braun and why you should boycott) and according to what i just saw… apparently yoongi’s movie is gonna have a screening in isnotreal and even after all the protests trucks and hashtags and emails that have been sent to this company this past few months, it’s clear they don't care about what we have to say and so, as much as we all want to support our faves, we have to make this company's pockets hurt. by that i mean, not buying albums or merch or stream music from their groups until something is done! unfortunately, these companies only gaf if money is not put in their pockets! so please download music listen to music illegally wtv you need to do we need to unite this time to make them open their eyes and realize we do not stand for this

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.

[prodixal]

"Aye, but that's what brothers are for." he spits out almost instantly, like a petty child. He enjoyed riling her up. Ever since they were kids. There was joy to be found in watching her wish she could rip his head off his shoulders. If only she were able to reach it. "I say this with care, dear sister -- but you are always unnecessarily stressed. It is almost like you're looking to find issues to worry over, even when there aren't any. -- When was the last time you...relaxed?"

He will scoff at her her next words, which showed just how alike they were beyond their apparent differences. Neither of them could be told shit when it came to their attractiveness. Though what kind of brother would he be not to knock her down a peg? "I suppose one sister was given the beauty with no confidence, while the other is all confidence with no beauty. How strange a game do our minds play on us." there was obvious mockery to his voice, he did not truly mean it. His sister, though he was not of Targaryen persuasion to find attraction towards kin, was an objectively beautiful woman. "Seems all the stress took toll on your eyes, good for you."

Varyn proceeds to watch his sister squirm to any sign of potential tenderness, her voice remaining firm and factual and task-oriented. She was so very much like their lord father. Calculating, cold, ambitious. It would serve her well, in this game she's adamant on playing. But he wondered, for a moment, if what she desired most of all would ever bring her a sense of peace, happiness...comfort. It did not sit well with him that she should aspire to something that would, once achieved, leave her empty and alone.

But who was he, to judge the paths of others? At least his sister had a path, a purpose. He would never know what that feels like.

"My very best behaviour." he repeats her words back to her, showing he was listening. "So...say I am to fraternise with one of the lovely Targaryen sisters..." he lets the thought trail off, anticipating a concern and sharp look of Cershas eyes. He did not actively intend to do anything outrageous with any of the sisters, what comes later was truly unintended. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Don't shoot." a laugh leaves his throat and he will absorb some of the seriousness she radiated through the air.

"Though, as we are on the topic of my fucking things up --" he bites his lip, looking away not to shrink under the heaviness of judgment which would no doubt be filling her gaze. "I've something to tell you. Not that I believe it to be of your concern, but -- I would hate for you to find out in a manner outside of your control. I know you well enough to know -- you do not appreciate surprises."

With their conversation turning more private with each passing word, it was of all the more importance they should seek a corner where no one would be listening. So he quickened his step, and did not respond to her following words before they entered private chambers, locking the doors while leaving their guards behind.

"See what I mean? Looking for things to worry about." he did not mean to imply his sister was paranoid. He was certain she had been right. But some things only showed with time, and one could hardly pry them out of the person. "People cannot hide who they are for long, that should worry you as much as it should give you relief. In time, you will know exactly who they are, and she will know exactly who you are in turn." it was easy to play pretend, when one only shared moments with the other. But sharing a life gave way to reality to seep through, with certainty, with time.

"There is a way for you to find out...more, I suppose." a mischievous smile spreads across his lips as he sits spreading on a dark wooden chair, pouring himself a cup of fresh wine. "Leave it to me."

" YOU ARE CAUSING ME UNNECCESSARY STRESS ." cersha snaps frustratedly in reply even as she gestures to all of varyn with a sweeping hand before promptly dropping that hand in annoyance . it is with a huff that cersha moves to briefly rub her temples instead , adding , " and if you wish to goad someone about their age , you will find better luck with telessa . she is the one who seem to think her age is slowly leaching her beauty from her —  and only the gods know why that is ." cersha gestures to herself then to lowly hiss , " i , on the other hand , know with surety that i become only more enchanting with every day that passes as the gods have intended ." while the words may lean towards ironic considering the current predicament , cersha knows them to be true . after all , if it was not proven in some way every day of her life , her introduction to vaelora solidified that if nothing else . after all , would the targaryen have looked at cersha quite that way if not for her beauty ? in all honesty , as a woman her beauty was one of the greatest assets she had to offer . another was her mind , but that rarely seemed to attract as much interest . so , she will work with the pieces that she had . as she looks upon her brother that sentiment seems to echo . " and i you ." it is only the lack of possible spectators that allows cersha to accompany the words with a face that goes against near all decorum . there is only varyn there to see the childish twist in her expression , and perhaps that is the very reason why she makes it . " so i suppose we both have regrets then . a shame , truly ." it is with a sigh that cersha allows her hands to rest on her hips , watching as varyn pets his foot as if she has left him wish some sort of grand wound . cersha knows for a fact that she hasn't . as much as she wishes she were as fierce a force in brute strength as she was in sharp intellect , she knows where her talents are .

she is starkly reminded of them as varyn stands and gives her a look that makes her expression twitch . that twitch only grows in a full on furrow of her brows as varyn continues , her expression twisting in her growing confusion . she doesn't even have the wherewithal to swat her brother's hand away in her bewilderment , merely allowing him to tuck away a stray curl that she will likely find herself fiddling with in the nearest mirror in half a candle mark . " well — " cersha feels thrown off in a way that feels distinctly unfamiliar . she develops a quick distaste for it . her brows furrow tighter . " good . because this is —  of the greatest importance , and not just to me but for the entirety of our house ." cersha's voice becomes steadier the longer she speaks , and she's glad for it ; the usual backbone behind her words feels familiar enough for something in her shoulders to ease as she takes a breath before firmly adding , " you must be on your very best behavior until the wedding ." nevermind that this is perhaps what cersha has wanted all her life . this was an opportunity for all of them . and while cersha was more than ready for the weight of that on her shoulders , was born for it truly , she wasn't concerned for her . she was concerned for the pieces she had less control over . pieces like varyn , or vaelora , or gods knows what else . it is after a long moment of considering varyn , of letting his question settle that cersha sighs grandly and drops her hands from her hips to say , " if everything does not go perfectly i may very well consider murder ." she snaps out with a frustrated gesture . there's a beat before she waves his way to add , " not of you . not to say it couldn't be you , but murder in general is what i refer to ." another pause before her expression is twisting as she adds , " not to mention vaelora baffles me ." cersha sits down on the step with a frustrated huff , her nose wrinkled delicately in thought as she gestures to say , " all honor and kindness ." her brows knit together as she stares determinedly into the distance . " there is something beneath it , i know it . she is playing some sort of game , i just need to decipher what it is but ," she points sharply to varyn to add , " they will not pull wool over my eyes . i refuse to be blindsided ."