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thetomorrowshow · 2 years ago

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poisoned rats in a pot of grain - ch. 8

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IM SORRY BUT THEY'RE FILMING LAST LIFE S2??? MAYBE???? BRB CRYING

anyway i've been fairly busy!! main draft for this fic is just about completed; the next part of the trust au is ready for posting later this week; i can post the next chapter of scott's backstory any time i want as long as i edit it lol. much love!

cw: implied/referenced torture, onscreen murder (of unnamed character), blood, dehumanization

“The plan,” Scott says, hitting the convoluted stringboard with a ruler, “is simple.”

The plan is anything but simple.

In the past seventy-two hours, Mythics has been moved into what solely Scott refers to as ‘witness protection’ (actually into the care of the hero Pearl, who had taken him quite willingly); fWhip has sent out drones that found the precise location of Xornoth’s base rather than vague directions from Mythics (a manor on the edge of the city); and Xornoth has somehow, through entirely illegal and frankly impossible means, become an elected senator. None of them can figure out exactly how that happened.

“fWhip is on bed rest,” Joel pipes up before Scott can properly begin. He waves his phone. “He just texted me. Surgery went well, but he shouldn’t be up for a week at least.”

That’s fine, Scott had expected that. He taps a photo of a hero on the board. “That is why I planned ahead. Lady and gentleman, Blossom.”

“No,” Blossom says, smiling apologetically. “I’m a pacifist, Major, you know this. I don’t seek out fights. I just want everyone to get along.”

She shuts the door in his face.

“And that is where Pearl comes in,” Scott says, tapping the stringboard.

“Yeah, I’ve kinda got my super-hands full?” Pearl says, grimacing. “Mythics isn’t exactly easy to entertain. I’d love to, don’t get me wrong, but he’ll definitely wreak havoc if I leave.”

“And that is why we depend on and trust one another,” Scott says, tapping the stringboard. He eyes his two compatriots seriously. “If any of us proves to be a traitor to our cause, we fail.”

“We literally know the plan,” Lizzie deadpans, arms crossed. “We helped make it.”

“It’s still best that we go over this, just to make sure we have it memorized.”

“We wrote it down?” Lizzie pulls a slip of paper out of her pocket, waves it.

Joel sighs, leans over to her. “Lizzie, let him have his action movie moment. He built a whole stringboard and everything.” “First step,” Scott forges on, “is to sneak into the manor. Our best bet for getting us in is Joel—he can make the guards think they heard a sound or something, I don’t really care. He does something to get any guards away, and then we’re in without an alarm being immediately raised.”

“Unless there’s a security system.”

Scott nods to Lizzie. “Unless there’s a security system—and they don’t disable it. That’s why I’m going in first—if I see anything that looks like an alarm or a camera, I freeze it. It’s not foolproof, but hopefully it can keep them off our tail for a couple of minutes so that we can find Gem.”

“Are we sure that Gem’s in the house?” Joel brings up, hand slightly raised. “Like, she could be anywhere in the city. She could be dead. If she’s the fourth member of our party and we can’t find her, what are we gonna do?”

And when I have your little friends, that Gem and that Blossom and the mayor, I will make you watch me torture them.

“She’s alive,” Scott says, shaking off the memory. “Xornoth isn’t interested in killing anyone at the moment. She’ll probably be locked up somewhere, though. Maybe a basement of sorts?” He scribbles basement? onto a sticky note, throws it onto the board under a cut-out of a photo of Gem. “This is probably where we’ll split up—Joel heading off to find Gem, while Lizzie and I look for Xornoth and Solidarity. Of course, things could change once we get there. In the heat of the moment, there’s a million things that could go wrong.”

“Right. What if Xornoth kills us?”

Scott glares at Joel.

“What if we kill Xornoth?” Lizzie asks. “I know the goal is just to lock them up, but what if something unexpected happens?”

“Nothing unexpected will happen,” Scott says resolutely. “Not in this case. Xornoth isn’t going to go down like that, they’re too powerful. But they won’t want to give up Solidarity.”

Lizzie shrugs. “Not my problem. I’m just here to kill him.”

Scott sighs, taps a corner of the board that reads RULE NUMBER 1: DON’T KILL SOLIDARITY.

“I mean, I’m just here to . . . not kill him. Right.”

Oh boy.

“Right, you all know the rest of the plan,” Scott concludes, rubbing his forehead. “Just . . . no more casualties than necessary, okay?”

“You got it.”

“I’ll try my best, Major.”

This isn’t going to go well.

There’s screams coming from the basement.

He can only hear them occasionally, when the door to the meeting room opens for lackeys or official-looking businessmen to bustle through. His master is in constant meetings and conversations now, several seats around the table always occupied by a rotating door of people.

Jimmy’s been here for hours, he thinks, maybe even an entire day. He hasn’t moved from Xornoth’s side, cheek pressed to their leg like the obedient dog he is. When Xornoth stands, leaves the room, Jimmy stays, eyes demurely on the floor, not even processing what others say. The only words worth hearing are his master’s.

He’s been staring at the ground for some time now while waiting for Xornoth, perhaps longer than an hour, when his master finally returns, angry words spewing from their mouth.

“You think you can defy me? This is my city, fool!”

“And—and someone has to stand up to you!”

“Pet,” his master hisses, pulling Jimmy up by the hair. They unclip the leash from his collar, point him in the direction of a rather scared-looking man in a too-tight button-up. “Kill.”

Jimmy dives at him without hesitation, long nails tearing into his face and pulling at his hair. The man screams under him, and Jimmy lets the adrenaline flow as he grips the man’s throat—he doesn’t have enough physical strength to snap his neck, but an accident—

There’s an awful crack and the man crumples, eyes rolling up. Jimmy releases his neck, watches dispassionately as his body hits the ground. Then he turns back to Xornoth, waiting for their next command.

His master is smiling. “Good job, darling,” they purr, beckoning Jimmy close. There’s other people still around the table, Jimmy notices, people now silent, people looking anywhere but at the body behind Jimmy.

Xornoth fixes the leash back onto Jimmy’s collar and he relaxes into the familiar weight, rolling his shoulders back. This is good. He’s done good.

There’s a bit of blood under his fingernails and staining the pads of his fingers. Nothing abnormal. Nothing that should make him want to shake apart.

Xornoth leads him back to their seat, where Jimmy obediently drops to his knees, uncaring of the sharp pain that shoots through his bad hip. He doesn’t feel anything for the body just meters away. He doesn’t look at it. He doesn’t think about it.

He just killed someone. He just killed someone who did nothing to deserve it. He just killed someone because his master told him to.

He’s spent so long not letting his brain catch up to his actions. He can’t start thinking about what he’s done now.

Xornoth’s hand cards through his hair as his master begins speaking, and Jimmy does nothing but lean into it. He rubs the hem of his shorts under his fingernails, clears out some of the blood.

The door opens again, another distant scream echoing through the room. Jimmy chews on his tongue. He’s glad that whatever is happening to whoever that is, it’s not happening to him. He’s good. He’s a good pet. He does what his master tells him to do.

“Pet—”

Jimmy hears the word in the middle of the conversation, glances up a little to see that while his master isn’t talking to him, they’re smirking down at him, something almost . . . triumphant in their gaze. Jimmy rests his head against their lap, stays still even though his hip screams for him to shift just a little bit to the side. He’s a good pet.

His eyes wander out to the side, where only the shoes of the dead man are visible. Why has nobody removed the body? Why is it still here? His first ever intentional kill, committed thoughtlessly, automatically, and now a man is gone like he’d never even been here.

He’s losing his grip, Jimmy realizes, his tremulous hold on the compartmentalization that keeps him sane beginning to slip. He can’t have that, that’s very bad news, he can’t let emotion leak into this part of himself because he’s a good boy. He’s a good pet. He’s good for his master.

He twitches his head, just slightly, as if trying to scare off a fly on his nose. His master doesn’t notice, doesn’t notice that Jimmy’s carefully-crafted delusion of control is crumbling before his very eyes. He hadn’t wanted to kill anyone. He hadn’t thought that would be required of him. He doesn’t want to be here.

You’re fine, he tells himself, careful not to let his lips make any noise. You’re a pet. You can’t do anything that master doesn’t command. You can’t risk the cage.

Because that’s all it really ever boils down to, isn’t it? He’s not a pet because his resistance will hurt others. He doesn’t warn away the heroes of the city out of any actual care for their wellbeing. He only cares about not getting put in that cage ever again.

People file in and out. He doesn’t hear any more screams. His master holds a meeting, then another, then another, and Jimmy sits at his side and doesn’t doze for once, stares at what is left of the blood from the scratches he made down that man’s face.

When he’s finally alone, Jimmy rinses his hands in the too-cold water from the broken sink in the corner of his cell.

There’s still dark red crusted under two fingernails.

He leaves it.

A stakeout reveals that, likely due to Xornoth’s new political position, cars go to and from the manor frequently, a mix of classic kidnapper vans and government vehicles. It might be as easy as driving to the front door, Joel pulling a Jedi mind trick, and then walking right in.

That’s what Scott hopes, at least, jostling on the floor of the white electrician van that Lizzie had somehow acquired.

Joel’s up front in the driver’s seat. Even through the small grate window, Scott can see his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel. Lizzie’s across from Scott, staring determinedly at the floor.

This doesn’t feel like Scott’s typical base-busting. This feels like a shady, villainous operation. Which is sort of what it is, with Lizzie involved.

There’s a huge chance that everything will go wrong. They’re only three people, after all. One of whom certainly wants Solidarity dead, and is therefore untrustworthy. But Scott has to rely on them. He can’t do this alone.

The van jolts to a stop and Scott swallows, balls his hands into fists. This is it.

“This is it,” Joel calls back to them, voice filled with false cheer. “If this doesn’t work out—”

“Please—”

“Lizzie, I love you,” Joel continues, undeterred. “And Major, you’re a prick.”

Scott rears back. “Unprovoked?” he sputters, before Lizzie shushes him and suddenly Joel is rolling the window down.

Scott ducks down, Lizzie following barely a half second later. “Cargo?” an unfamiliar voice requests, and Scott can feel his heart pounding. They’ve done absolutely nothing to protect themselves here. If there’s anyone examining the van with some sort of x-ray vision there’s no way to get out in time. Even if they do, the alarm will be raised and Xornoth will be conscious of their efforts. There isn’t a second try here. They’ve pinned everything on this.

There’s a moment of quiet, too long, a moment only filled with the sound of the idle engine and Lizzie’s breaths. Then Joel’s seat creaks, and the voice says, “All in order. Go ahead.”

The van jerks forward and they’re moving. Scott dares to raise his head a little, catches Joel’s cheeky grin in the rearview mirror.

“Headed to the garage!” he calls back, and Scott bites his lip, his stomach flipping. The first checkpoint has been passed—they’ve gotten in without detection. He ought to be celebrating, ought to be excited. He can’t help that everything feels like it’s about to go horribly wrong.

He hasn’t been this nervous in years. It’s just another fight, he tries to tell himself. You’ve busted tons of bases in your time, including Xornoth’s. It’s just another fight.

It’s not just another fight. This is Solidarity’s life on the line. This is Gem’s life on the line. This is the entire city on the line.

And then they’re pulling into a garage, and Scott has to suck it all up and clamber out of the van.

There’s nobody else in this garage. A black van is parked beside them. There’s a screen door leading into the main part of the house. Shelves of typical garage items line the back wall—spare tires, jacks, rope. Nothing out of the ordinary.

It’s quiet. Not too quiet, not eerily quiet. Quiet like a church on a weekday. An accustomed quiet. A not-to-be-disturbed quiet.

Joel behind him has fixed his mask onto his face, and Lizzie behind him is climbing out of the van, smoothing down her hair. She’s got a canteen strapped to her hip, ready to spit out a stream of water just in case.

“Should we head to the door?” Scott whispers, nodding toward it, but Joel points instead to the opposite corner of the garage. There, Scott notices, set into the floor, is a trapdoor.

A basement.

That’s their first place to check for any prisoners—and somehow, it seems safer to come in through a trapdoor rather than the main one into the house.

Joel takes point, stealing toward the trapdoor and easing it open. Scott follows Lizzie down the ladder, glancing around behind them. This is too easy. A door straight to the cellar? Through the garage? There’s no way they’re this lucky.

It appears that they are, though, because when, unhindered by non-existent guards they begin going through the rooms, the third room they check in the dark basement (which is eerily quiet, quiet in the unnerving way rather than the natural way) houses Gem.

She’s not in the worst shape of anyone Scott’s ever seen, but he rushes to her side as soon as they spot her. She’s chained to the wall, a flickering purple force around her, hair tangled and face bruised. Her eyes are closed, bags beneath them deep and dark.

Even asleep, just by looking at her Scott can tell that she won’t be up to accompanying them for the rest of the mission. He’s not sure what they can do for her, though—she can’t take the van home, seeing as it’s their current escape plan and would alert the manor to their presence. They can’t abandon the mission to help her, that would be consigning Solidarity to his fate. They can’t just leave her here—they can’t do anything, it seems, and Scott’s starting to panic which he can’t afford to do—

“Gem,” Scott whisper-shouts, stuck outside her shields. Gem starts awake instantly, raising her arms to cover her face—until she sees Scott.

“Major,” she breathes, and her entire body visibly relaxes. The force flickers once more, then disappears. Scott shoves himself forward on his knees, pulls Gem onto his lap.

“Gem, it’s so insanely good to see you,” he tells her, trying not to betray any actual emotion. They’re still in the middle of a mission, after all. He doesn’t have the time to let down any defenses.

Gem mouths something. Scott leans forward, ear over her mouth, and she tries again.

“Get out,” she croaks. “Scott, it’s—he’ll come back any moment—they know you’re here—”

Oh no.

Things had been going too well, hadn’t they?

“We’ve been made,” Scott hisses to his companions. Lizzie curses, Joel spins around to face the door.

Gem’s stirring, fruitlessly pulling at the chains around her wrists. Scott takes a link, applies tighter and tighter ice, he doesn’t know the physics behind this move but he’s broken metal by freezing it far too many times—

The first chain snaps, and he makes quick work of the other one, pulling Gem up to her feet. She can stand, surprisingly, shakes out her arms with a pained grunt.

“I’m fine,” she mutters when Scott tries to help her. “I just wanna get out of here.”

Everything is suspicious, everything including how injured Gem had seemed at first to how capable she seems now—how she warned them, but there’s no one nearby—but Scott pushes aside the prickling in the back of his brain and nods to her, continues on his way out.

He’s barely turned his back on her when something heavy slams into him from behind, sending him flying into Lizzie with a loud crash.

The air is totally knocked out of him and it’s a few seconds before he can even see, let alone breathe. When he does manage to suck in some air, he blinks his eyes open—he and Lizzie are on the floor, Lizzie shoves him off of her and rolls to her feet—Scott pushes his aching body up, gasping, only to see Lizzie dive at Gem and take her to the floor.

He cries out, pain forgotten in adrenaline as he sprints forward—he has to protect Gem, he has to save her—but Gem’s hands go loose from where they’re pulling at Lizzie’s hair as Lizzie slams her head into the concrete floor.

Gem’s unconscious before Scott can get there, and he goes to shove Lizzie away—that’s Gem, that’s his friend, how could she—but a hold on his cape stops him. He whips around; Joel is there, face white, holding him back.

“Major, Gem—she just tried to kill you,” he says, and Scott doesn’t need to be able to read minds to know that Joel isn’t lying. He glances back to Gem’s lax face, Lizzie dusting her hands off as she stands.

“Thank me later,” she bites out, stepping over Gem to stare Scott down. Scott looks between Gem and Lizzie, trying to work out—why would Gem—?

Joel groans at the same moment that Scott connects the dots. “The other telepath,” Joel grumbles. “They must be here.”

And Scott, still looking down at Gem, knows exactly what’s about to happen. He almost doesn’t want to turn around, as if not looking will make it not happen. But he sighs, pushes a hand through his hair, and turns around.

Joey Graceffa waves from the doorway.

Graceffa seems put out, almost, when he gets no reaction from the group. “C’mon, nothing for the richest man in the country?” he pouts, slipping out of his expensive suit jacket. Scott’s lip curls.

He can take Graceffa, easy. He’s known for years that there was something up with him, that he wasn’t just corrupt in that all-billionaires-are-evil way, but in more pressing ways as well. He’d never had sufficient evidence to go after him, though.

Right now, evidence doesn’t matter.

But once again, Joel pulls him back by his cape. “Don’t,” he says lowly, and Scott can feel the power in his voice. It’s not directed at him, not right now, but Scott hasn’t been on the other end of a telepath’s powers in a long time and he certainly doesn’t want to break that streak now. He backs down, lets Joel approach Graceffa.

“So,” says Joel, gesturing toward Gem. “Your work?”

Graceffa shrugs. “Quick and dirty,” he says. “Nothing near what I had going with Mythics. I suppose you would know what happened to him?”

Joel barks out a laugh. “It’s not gonna be that easy, mate,” he says confidently, pressing closer to Graceffa.

And then they both go silent, staring into each others’ eyes.

An entire minute passes.

Scott exchanges a look with Lizzie. She shrugs.

“Is this a straight man thing, or. . . ?”

Graceffa slaps Joel across the face, points at Scott. “How dare you accuse me of being straight!” he gasps dramatically, and there’s something pushing at Scott’s brain, behind his eyes, and he doesn’t like this, he doesn’t like this at all—

Then Joel is slamming Graceffa into a wall. “Both of you, head out and find Solidarity! I’ll catch up!” he shouts, as Graceffa wriggles free of his hold and kicks him in the knee.

Scott doesn’t need to be told twice. He runs, Lizzie on his heels, further down the basement. The basement isn’t too large, quite a bit smaller than Scott expected for a manor of this size, and within sight of the room Gem was in is another staircase. Scott freezes just before it, holds an arm out to stop Lizzie.

“Joey Graceffa knew we were here,” he whispers. “He could’ve alerted anyone.”

“Who even was that guy?”

“Classic billionaire type, and apparently a telepath?” That part is still fuzzy, but Scott’s pretty sure they’ve just left Joel and Graceffa having some sort of telepath showdown. So Joey Graceffa is the telepath, and for some reason, he’s been hanging out in Xornoth’s basement. Scott entertains the idea that Graceffa is Xornoth for about .2 seconds, before dismissing it entirely. Laughable.

Scott leads the way up the stairs, slow and careful. Something still isn’t right about this.

It’s the middle of the day. Sure, they sort of hoped people would be out to lunch, but there’s got to be some sort of staff here, right? And they know for a fact that Xornoth employs some basic muscle, so theoretically there should be any number of thugs around the building.

It’s not right that Joey Graceffa of all people is the only one to notice that they’re here.

But when Scott pushes open the door at the top of the stairs, there’s no one there.

It’s just him and Lizzie, alone in a grand, painting-lined hallway.

The prickling in the back of Scott’s brain has grown to a roar of dread, because this just isn’t right. They shouldn’t be alone in a building that constantly has vehicles shipping to and fro, a building where Xornoth and presumably all of their thugs reside, a building where Solidarity by all rights ought to be.

But it’s just the two of them, and the quiet that had been unnerving earlier is downright oppressive now.

There’s an open doorway to Scott’s right, light spilling onto the polished wooden floor beyond it. Scott looks to Lizzie, who shrugs.

It’s the first sign of proper life that they’ve seen. And if Gem is to be believed, it’s not a secret that they’re here.

Xornoth is most certainly there. It’s also most certainly a trap. But Scott’s not a hero for nothing, and Lizzie’s not a villain for nothing. Both kinds are quite notorious for getting out of traps.

Scott stretches, rolls his neck out, then leads the way into the room.

It’s a ballroom, large and grand, all sorts of intricacies decorating the walls and ceiling, but Scott only has eyes for the two figures on the dais at the opposite end of the room.

Xornoth in all their dark glory, resting back in a jewel-encrusted throne. The Canary in full costume (glider wings and musketeer hat included), kneeling at their feet. A chain connects the Canary’s collar to Xornoth.

Xornoth raises a hand, and Scott suddenly realizes that it isn’t just the two of them in the room. There’s a small guard made up of eight or so thugs standing by the door, and it’s barely a second before two of them have Scott by the forearms and two others have Lizzie. Scott struggles, but only for a moment—they’re not attacking him, just pulling him forward to meet Xornoth. He was already planning on heading that way, anyhow.

“Well,” Xornoth says once both Scott and Lizzie are before them. “Here to destroy me?”

And Scott’s seething, because he is here to destroy them. Because Solidarity is right there, chin on Xornoth’s lap. Because they’re finally here, and Xornoth is still acting like they have the upperhand.

When Xornoth removes Solidarity’s musketeer hat and glides a hand through his golden hair, Scott can’t help but yank one of his arms free. A shard of ice shoots down his arm and into the thigh of someone holding him. That person curses, smacks Scott over the head.

Scott curses as well. He needs to calm down. He can’t lose control here, in front of his nemesis, with an innocent’s life at stake. He stares up at Solidarity, searching the little bit of visible skin for any signs of recent injuries, trying to catch the man’s eye. Solidarity isn’t even looking at him, eyes fixed on . . . on Lizzie.

Lizzie’s staring back at Solidarity, face tight. Her hands, restrained as they are, are clenched in fists, knuckles turning white.

What’s visible of Solidarity’s face is expressionless, even as he leans into Xornoth’s hand.

“Nothing to say to me, Major?” drawls Xornoth, lip curled. Scott returns his attention to the villain. “Nothing to say to your . . . brother?”

Brother?

In what? Being powered?

Maybe it’s some sort of tax bracket thing, Xornoth pleading to his anti-establishment spirit. Even so, it’s weird. Confusing. Probably meant to throw him off. Scott doesn’t like it at all.

“We’re not brothers,” he spits out, “and we never will be. Anything else cryptic to say to me, or should we skip to the part where I kick your demonic butt?”

Xornoth laughs, strange and echo-y in this space. It sends a chill running up Scott’s spine, one that he tries fruitlessly to shake. “Why, why, Major—or should I say, Scott,” they say, and the chill spreads to all of Scott’s body, stealing the air from his lungs.

There’s only two people on earth who know Scott’s secret identity, and neither of them have taken up supervillain activities in the last ten years—unless his therapist has something to tell him. And his therapist is a middle-aged woman named Nora, so it would be more than a little concerning for Xornoth to remove their mask right now and reveal themself to be her.

“How do you—?”

“Brothers, Scott,” Xornoth tells him, one finger idly wrapping a lock of Solidarity’s hair around it and pulling hard. Solidarity doesn’t move. “You’ve forgotten your poor, lonely brother, cast from the home at just fourteen? Surely you remember something of me, you at least stood taller than a toddler.”

No way. There’s literally no possible way that’s true. Scott was an only child. He hates to think of the people who raised him, the place he grew up, but now he casts his mind back, tries to recall any evidence of such a sibling.

There’s nothing. Not even a faint echo of a teenager occupying the house when he was young. No photos, no possessions, no memories.

Xornoth’s probably lying. They’re probably just trying to shake him before the battle, give themself the upper hand. But the fact that they know his name is scary. Incredibly scary.

If they know Scott’s name, who else does?

He’ll just have to make sure to bring Xornoth in alive. He needs answers about this, but right now they’re going to have to wait.

Scott sighs, tugs himself free from the guards easily. “We fighting or no?” he asks, then doesn’t wait before sending an icicle flying at Xornoth. The villain dodges it easily, stands, unclips the chain from Solidarity’s collar (Scott’s blood boils at the sight of it) and places the man’s hat back on his head.

“Pet,” says Xornoth casually. Solidarity’s eyes instantly leave Lizzie, turning instead to Xornoth. “I have some business to take care of with my long-lost brother. Keep her—” they point at Lizzie— “out of my way.”

Scott barely has time to process the words before the Canary leaps at Lizzie, and Xornoth flies toward him.

54 notes · View notes

ruby-whistler · 3 years ago

Note

Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)

alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp

Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".

it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.

you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.

again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm

also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.

You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?

wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.

actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]

i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.

I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him

c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.

c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).

c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.

c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).

Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-

you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).

i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.

i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.

huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.

You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.

i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]

I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.

It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.

It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.

i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.

i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.

it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.

The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.

i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.

for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.

no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh

the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.

i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.

there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.

I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)

it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!

i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?

Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay

it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)

the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out

yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.

Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)

sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]

you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;

the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).

so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.

Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)

i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm

sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon

nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.

#long post #my asks #curious anon #tw torture #tw animal death #c!dream negativity in asks #nothing aggressive though #so safe to read

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angstywhoure · 4 years ago

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SPOILERS!!!!!!

Conspiracy time!!!

But first, let’s discuss how these sisters are playing EVERYONE for fools. Cause WHEW! I AM HERE FOR IT. I had a feeling from when we first see the Vice President remove her mask at the gamble between Yumeko and the treasurer. Like, Kirari is more than a gambler. She’s a manipulator in its essence. Of course she’d use her twin to her advantage. Like what other reason would ririka’s identity actually be hidden from the public??? SAYAKA was even shocked then. Okay, back to chapter 76.

1. My last post on this story was about the gamble between Yumeko and Mary. I’d predicted that they were probably gonna end with a draw. So YAY. Cause I still feel like Yumeko has an agenda. She’s gonna help Mary get as far as she can to being Student Council President. (‘Why’is for another post I’ll eventually give on Yumeko’s character)

2. No one BUT Mary and those from the previous gamble know which one is Ririka. So Kirari wanting their mannerisms to sync is IMPORTANT for many reasons than just a potential gamble that’ll possibly be the determining one for President. (I hope)

3. Yumeko is privy to this information even before Ririka’s mask is removed by Mary. (This is a guess I’ll explain in the future)

4. There’s a reason as to why Ririka’s existence is not public information. It has to go beyond the school. The clan knows of her. But that’s it. So there’s a reason as to why Mary is told this willingly by ririka with kirari’s knowledge.

5. The twins have something planned. Before I’d told a friend that there had to be plot happening involving the sisters that no one else is aware of and that Yumeko MAY be catching on now that she knows who exactly has been aiding Mary in the elections.

6. There’s a secret the Bami clan is hiding. I’m not sure how it’ll play out in the manga but in the anime. Rei (a character that doesn’t exist in the manga) has MET Yumeko’s sister. Was there the day whatever happened to her took place.

7. Yumeko possibly learned as much as she could about Kirari and Ririka from her sister when she visited her sister at the hospital. Possibly learned about the entire main clan actually.

8. None of the clan families know who Yumeko is. But some have a vague idea of who her sister was. Or at most, her family. But isn’t it still weird she’s just discounted as a defected lower clan family?? Yet.... she sits on MONEY. Her sisters hospital bills are not cheap and Yumeko isn’t a scholarship student.

9. This brings back my theory that Yumeko isn’t a compulsive gambler. We see that there are gambles she doesn’t particularly enjoy or want to partake in. Midari shows us this. We also see that there’s a gain from almost all of the gambles Yumeko has with people. There’s a system to her madness, basically. (Ugh. I’ll have to do a post on her for this.)

10. Terano is afraid. She’s losing. The twins are still steps ahead of her and with Mary in Ririka’s pocket. Yumeko is the gamble she’s taking with the challenge she issues at the end of Chapter 76. She’s not sure about what Yumeko really is doing but she has the idea that if she loses, Yumeko MAY just be the best bet to beat Kirari or challenge her, at best. Yumeko however is confident in her rational that Kirari will win the election. But we also know that Yumeko is doing this for two reasons 1: to face Kirari again and 2: to help Mary become president. Im not including the “she loves to gamble and that’s why” view. It’s the most obvious one. Duh. But she’s also more interested in the wagers than the actual gamble. That’s what’s important here. We have yet to see her gamble JUST for gambling sake. (Still something delve into on a post about her character.)

OKAY! So, this chapter also did a couple things like... make me begrudgingly open my mind and heart to Ririka crushing on Mary. (I’m a committed YuMary shipper here) But I’m such a sucker for Ririka becoming her own person and Mary being the reason. Like: come on! How can I NOT support this?! It’s like my favorite kind of trope. But this also gave me another thought towards Kirari.....

What does she TRULY feel for Sayaka, if she feels anything at all. Like Yumeko, we know it’s kind of hard to actually get her going. But we also know from how she runs the school and the life plans and such.... she sees people as objects for her use. Does she do what she does with Sayaka cause the girl’s reactions intrigue her? Or does she genuinely feel something? Why possibly be jealous of her sisters feelings toward Mary when there’s Sayaka, unless that has no meaning to her?? Idk. I’m intrigued. Maybe I’m reading into it too much. I’m not opposed to being wrong. I look forward to the development of this arc and what’s to come for the rest of the series.

Maybe I’ll read Mary’s spin off along side Midari’s and see if they can answer some questions I have about the twins and some of the other characters.

#kakeguri #kakeguri xx #kakegurui #mary saotome #yumeko jabami #kakegurui chapter spoilers #kakegurui kirari #kirari momobami #ririka momobami #kakgurui ririka #chapter 76 #chapter 76 spoilers #theories #rambles

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 39 - Finland's female Prime Minister wears a suit with no bra. Indecent? Sexist?

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Well...

J: Hahaha

K: This suits you (*pointing to Tokyo Sports hoodie that Joe is wearing*)

J: Oh thank you. Im starting to quite like it.

T: Im glad.

J: There is also a Tokyo Sports logo here on the end of the sleeve, so even if you are wearing a jacket, you can show it.

T: Thank you, haha.

J: So, (*To Tasai*) Im waiting for a job.

T: Thank you, lets do something.

K: Haha

J: Lets do something.

K: Ok, Joe, today's news please.

J: Yes, ok. 'Finland's female Prime Minister wears a suit with no bra. Indecent? Sexist?' 34 year old Northern European Prime Minister, Sanna Marin, appeared in a magazine wearing a jacket which exposed slight clevage, causing an unexpected stir. While parts of social media labelled this 'indecent', and 'inappropriate', other voices have been raised claiming this backlash is sexist, because a male politician appearing even half-naked in a magazine would not face the same criticism. Elected at the end of last year, Prime Minister Marin is notable as her country's youngest ever Prime Minister. She was interviewed by the fashion magazine, sold this month in Finland, and was portrayed as a role model, wearing a black suit. It appeared as if she was wearing the jacket with no bra, and her clevage was slightly visible below an elaborately designed necklace. Parts of social media responded that, 'It looks cheap', 'I've lost trust in her', 'She's trying to stand out'.

Well, if you search for this you will be able to find the image. Firstly, when I had a look, I didn't think it was all that indecent.

K: Yeah.

J: Kaoru, how do you feel about this?

K: Well, I feel like there is always gonna be someone who complains.

J: Yeah, so those who are defending PM Marin say that, for example, with that photo of Putin going fishing topless, or that photo which was posted of him jogging in floral patterned shorts in winter...People are asking why it is ok to show naked photos of male leaders, but indecent for a female leader to show a tiny bit of clevage? This had led to some claims of sexism. I think this is a difficult problem. (*To Tasai*)What does the expert on clevages have to say about this?

K: Are you an expert?

T: Haha, it has been said about me. Well, recently at Tokyo Sports, we've had a lot of articles concerning sex. Like, things that really make you think 'it this sexist against men? Or is this sexist against women?' I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a man or a woman. Its like women will point out sexism if they see it, but as a man, even if I think the same inside, I will question myself.*1

J: I see, men are bad at expressing feelings?

T: Yeah, so i've been thinking a lot about what it all means.

J: I see.

Kami: Um..

J: Oh, Kami's here.

Kami: Do you think people with small boobs are jealous of her clevage?

J: Oh, that?

Kami: As for me, I don't even mind if there is no clevage.

J: I see.

Kami: I probably even prefer small boobs.

J: You like small boobs?

Kami: I think they are better. But this photo, however you look at it, its a nice photo, isn't it?

J: Yes, its a good photo, right?

Kami: So maybe the people complaining about her clevage are just jealous because they have no clevage. I feel like that might be it.

T: Well, we don't know whether the people complaining were men or women though.

J: Yeh, we don't know that. We can't say.

K: It could be either.

Kami: So, Kami, are you saying 'Don't worry about the size of your clevage!'? Like, 'Its ok, don't worry about it!'

Kami: Yeah. Its whats on the inside that counts.

J: Thats it.

K: Yeah.

Kami: Either is ok.

K: But this is a fashion magazine, right?

J: Yeah. So PM Marin isn't wearing this type of thing for public affairs, its for this magazine. And I don't think this was only her idea. With a fashion magazine, there will be the director and the stylist etc, so she will have been shot in this way in oder to properly show off the fashion. So, even if you attack this, it is what it is. What do these complainers think is indecent about it?

K: Well, no matter what you do, you will always get opinions from both sides.

J: Well, of course, yes.

Kami: Its these small-boobed people who are attacking her.

K: He's particular about this, haha.

Kami: Its the truth. No mistake.

J: Attacking her like, 'Don't brag about your boobs!'?

Kami: Yes, thats it. They don't like the bragging. No mistake!

J: No mistake?

Kami: No mistake.

J: Haha, well if Kami has no doubts, maybe thats it.

T:Well, there may be some women who don't like hearing that*2

J: Like, Kami is doing sexual harassment?

T: Well, he is just saying his honest opinion as a man. But a man wouldn't say this looks cheap, would he? Or that they'd loose trust in her, or that she's trying to stand out? What do you think?

K: Even if she is trying to stand out, whats wrong with that?

J: Yeah, if people pay attention to this and see her a politician, it might draw more interest into politics, or spread awareness of her policies, so in that way, its a kind of promotion.

K: So its not really anyone's business to say 'It looks cheap' and stuff.

J: Yeah. But it doesn't look cheap, does it? From what I can see.

T: No, it looks nice.

Kami: Oh, I've just realised something.

J: What is it, Kami?

Kami: There may actually be a mistake about when I said 'there's no mistake' before.

J: Ah, tell us what it is.

Kami: She's a politician, right? She is being criticized as a politician, so it might be the small-boobed of the Opposition Party criticizing her.

K, T, J: Hahaha

J: No way! Really?

Kami: Yeah. The small-boobed of the Opposition.

J: I see.

T: Thats interesting.

J: So its like criticism of the administration?

Kami: Yes.

J: Political affairs, right? But I think PM Marin will be quite happy with this

T: Yeah, I bet she didn't expect it to turn into such a talking point.

J: But 'the small-boobed Opposition'...?

K: Haha, its a new phrase.

J: A first for humanity! Small-boobed Opposition!

T: I wanna search for it on my computer later.

J: I bet you won't get any results.

T: Haha.

J: Its only just been said...'Small-boobed Opposition'.

T: Incredible, right?

J: Haha. But conversely, what if it were a Japanese female politician appearing like this?

T: How would that go?

J: Yeah, how would it? Are there any Japanese politicians we'd like to appear in fashion magazines..

K: Its not really like we want them to appear, the editors want to feature them.

T: There isn't really anyone I'd like them to pick up on specifically.

J: Yeah. Well, the conclusion here is that PM Marin looks great.

K: Yeah, I think thats it.

J: No mistake.

K: It reminds me of when former Hanshin player Shinjo (Tsuyoshi) san returned from Nippon Ham, he was all over the magazines.

T: Oh yeah.

K: Its great, isn't it?

J: Yes, it is.

K: Ok, well...let's finish here.

J: Before Kami says anything else.

K: Thank you very much. Please subscribe.

*1,2 Slightly unsure about these bits.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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annikuh · 3 years ago

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had an actual pepe silvia/yarn-&-pushpin corkboard moment today trying to come up with a project topic for history like

"THERE WERE 5 FAILED PRESIDENTIAL ASSASSINATIONS OVER 7 YEARS; 3 OF THEM HAPPENED WITHIN LESS THAN TWO YEARS. 4 DIFFERENT PRESIDENTS HELD OFFICE AT THAT TIME. WHY! WHY DID EVERYONE START ASSASSINATING? WAS IT VIETNAM? WAS IT LEAD POISONING? WHAT ABOUT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT MADE THE STUPID FUCK ELECTED TO IT A MAJOR TARGET?"

like ok ma'am calm down, you're gonna fall out of your seat. like its an unusable premise for this class in particular bc its just SO broad, however im putting the corkboard up again under the cut bc its wildly interesting

OK! our goon squad consists of

-Samuel Byck, Nixon in 1974: thought Nixon was conspiring to oppress the poor

-Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, Ford in 1975: bring attention to saving the CA redwoods/ATWA--Charles Manson's environmental philosophy(?????). really just wanted to impress and show her loyalty to Manson & spread his belief system. only one to have not intended to actually kill the president (gun was unloaded).

-Sara Jane Moore, Ford in 1975 (17 days after Fromme): frustrated w/ the vietnam war, thought shooting Ford would bring about revolutionary change

-Raymond Lee Harvey, Carter in 1979: allegedly part of a 4 man operation to assassinate carter, was going to be used as a distraction (only one other dude was found, charges dismissed for lack of evidence, didn't actually do anything, only carried blanks--i know jackshit about this guy, theres barely anything about him online, & idk if i'd even count him bc nothing happened.)

-John Hinckley Jr., Reagan in 1981: last ditch effort to impress and gain the attention of actress Jodi Foster after stalking her for several years

so like... whats the tea. before this spree, the shortest time between assassinations was 11 years (avg. 15.5 yrs) & even after it was 12 years before another assassination. why did ~1/3rd of all US presidential assassination attempts--ranging from 1865 to 2011--occur within 7 years. <5% of almost 150 years contained ~30% of presidential assassinations.

only Byck had a political motivation AND specifically wanted to target Nixon. all these other mfs either used the president as a symbol or as a method for creating a spectacle. like before Ford could even take a breath, some other lunatic was trying to kill him, and neither of them had any association with each other nor similar motivations--he was just the poor schmuck who happened to be president at that moment, and the same thing probably would've happened if he was anyone else tbh, and same goes with hinckley (&, again, who the fuck knows about that other Raymond guy).

am i insane? like why? what was going on that turned everyone into lunatics? there have been millions of hostile looney tunes over those 150 years, so why tf did they all start coming out of the woodworks then? ESPECIALLY when half of them didnt even give a fuck who the president actually was? like did people start thinking about the president's position in general differently around this time? should we just chock it up to the same shit that caused the serial killer boom that happened at the same time? is this a waste of time-ass question?

i know for sure i cant use this Q but you cannot stop me from ruminating on it. tempted to fuck around w/ hinckley tho, like do sumn w/ his trial and how it literally caused a rewrite of the insanity defense & how that affected criminal rehabilitation efforts (u kno Reagan fucked all that shit up). literally just scrambling for an excuse to write about him or miss Squeaky over there.

whateva! gimme a ho ya if you read this far lmao this is simply a journal post at this point.

#annikuh speakin #interesting yet useless rant i hope u like it

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boywivlove · 4 years ago

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| Title | Lost My Way |

| Pairing | Min Yoongi x Reader

| Word Count | 1K

| Genre | Pianist AU, fluff, slight romantic moments, slight angst

| Summary | Min Yoongi was a rising prodigy in the pursuit of his career as a musician, but after a car accident his hands are left with severe injuries. It takes years for him to find his way again, and he will never give up his dream, no matter what life throws at him.

| Warnings | descriptions of accidents and injuries.

| AN | My second drabble for the `BTS Bingo Collaboration` with `ficswithluv` and I’m really glad to get this out!! Im going to be posting a lot more drabbles in the weeks to come !

----- “Even if Im slow, I will walk with my own feet Because I know this path is mine to take. Even if I go back, I will reach this path Eventually I will never I will never lose my dream” ----

If you asked Min Yoongi before graduation, where he thought he would be in two years, it wouldn't be here. He would have answered that he would have liked to be training with the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra, having been offered a place with them straight after graduation. He never could have guessed he would be sitting in a physiotherapy clinic , his hands barely able to hold a pen, all because of a head on collision with a drunk driver. But fate has a weird way of messing with people's lives, doesn't it?

He hadn't always liked piano, in fact, up until he was 15, he had never touched a key. Yoongi had grown up streetwise, not classically trained. But during a summer school program, he thought what the hell and took it as an elective. It was either that or track… no thanks. Yoongi was quick to learn how to play, his teacher noting that he was the quickest student to learn the ins and outs of playing. After he had been given the confidence to play, he had started to pride himself on his dedication to his skills, and to have it taken away from him because of one stupid, selfish ass hole… it burned him. It made him angry. He was supposed to make something of his life, to be recognised for his skill and get off the streets.

The crash happened one night in June, he had stayed late to practice for his upcoming exam. The driver sped right through a red light, and right into the front of Yoongi's car, he couldn't remember exactly how he got to the hospital, but they said he was lucky to be alive, his head had been split open upon impact, his face and body had been scraped by the glass from the windshield. But the injury that he felt the most were his hands, severely impacted by nerve damage, when he first woke up he had thought they had been amputated, not being able to feel them at all. The doctors had said there was a 40% chance he would be able to control them again, but it wasn't 100%. And to Yoongi, that wasn't enough.

“How are you feeling Yoongi?” He didn't look up to address you, but he nodded his head in acknowledgement. You were the newest in a string of physiotherapists assigned to help Yoongi try and work through his injuries. The others Yoongi had driven away from his outbursts of anger. You were younger than the others, only a year or so older than him, and he had to admit you were pretty to look at. And you hadn't asked for a replacement therapist for him yet, it had been 6 months and you still stayed with him. Yoongi was grateful, even if he had a hard time showing it.

It wasn't that Yoongi didn't want to get better, he wanted nothing more than to be able to use his hands again, but at the same time, he was tired of trying and getting nowhere. He was angry.

He hated that what happened happened to him, after he had worked too hard to get to where he was. He would never, ever get an opportunity like that again, it wasn't just his slot in the symphony and his ability to play he lost, his friends, he had eventually pushed them away one by one. He couldn't stand the sympathetic way they spoke to him, giving him advice they found on google on how he could get his hands back to the way they were. What the fuck would they know about anything. The only person he seemed to open up with was you, you didn't push him, but you did challenge him to do the exercises.

The therapy was slow, infuriatingly so. It was like no matter what he did or how much he tried, he was incapable of the simplest of things. His writing looked like chicken scratch, he would barely grip onto anything without dropping it, even getting dressed took twice as long and made his hands ache,

“You've made some great progress in the last year, I know it's not as much as you want it to be, but progress is progress.”

It was a slow process, painstakingly slow. But after months of you challenging Yoongi with the physiotherapy, Yoongi could finally see some progress. He could write his name in a somewhat presentable way, he could fully grasp anything without it aching, but he would hold things slightly. It even hurt less to button up his shirt in the morning. You were so proud of Yoongi for sticking at it and trying as much as he can muster. The whole reason you took this job was to help people get their lives back on track, and to see Yoongi smile when he was able to do something with his hands made it all worth it.

You had decided to pay Yoongi a visit today instead of being cooped up in the clinic for hours, there was no reason you couldn't do his exercises at home afteral. Yoongi had given you a spare key to let yourself in, and had told you the flat number that was his. You had brought him some lunch from a bakery you remember him saying was his favourite place to go after practice.

Fiddling with the key in the lock you made your way inside and set the lunch on the kitchen table. You heard a soft off key melody being played in the next room, re must have not heard you enter. Making your way slowly to the door, you spot him sitting at his piano, his hands tentatively playing the keys. You could see the concentration that was etched onto his features, and the shaking of his hands. It was a serene moment that you loved to see with him, but it was cut short when you heard another off key moment, and his hands slammed into the keys, causing him to cry out. You rushed over to where he was in an instant, afraid he had hurt himself, he seemed to only then notice you as he let you inspect his shaking hands.

“You know better Yoongi, no straining your muscles!” You look over his hands, gently turning them over in your own.

“Whats the point of trying to get better if Im NOT getting better, what the fuck am I suposed to do! I'm no closer than I was when all this shit first happened!”

Your heart went out to him, it really did. You knew Yoongi's background from your little conversations during your sessions. You knew where he'd come from and how hard he'd trained and worked for this chance.

“That's not true, you've made great progress, a year ago you couldn't even pick up a pen, let alone play the piano like you just did . Yoongi I know it's hard, but a big part of recovery is the patience and time you put into it. It's not an overnight thing. You know that..”

He said nothing, just breathing through the numb feeling he now felt in his hands. He nodded slowly and looked up at you, your hands still holding his own.

“What if it never goes away… Y/N what if everything I've worked for can never come true, and I'm stuck with a bunch of what ifs for the rest of my life….”

“Is that what you're most afraid of?”

He nodded, his shoulders shaking slightly. “I've worked so hard… I've put so much energy into this, I can't imagine doing anything else…”

“Yoongi, I know you can do this, you just need to give it time. And I know you're gonna get back on your feet, and you're gonna get over this… you've just got to give it time.”

He was nervous. He was so fucking nervous. It had taken him years after the accident to get here. Watching just off the stage as the audition before he finished up, he was good, his melodies were flawless. Yoongi had to commend him on his steady hand. Looking at his own, he was full of doubt. He wasn't sure he would be good enough to do this audition.

He walks out in a daze. The nape of his neck started to feel hot. He introduces himself, and he takes his place on the bench. He swallows, and looks out to the crowd. It was then he saw you enter quietly, taking a seat in the empty isle. You came. He suddenly thought of everything you'd said to him through his recovery, the promises of staying by his side, the encouraging smiles when he started practising again. Even when his sessions were over, you still stayed in touch with him and encouraged him even more. It wasn't until the judges panel motioned for him to start that he gave his hands a small squeeze.

Life hasn't been easy for him recently. Everything had changed for him. It was a slow process. But he's here, he made it.

One step forward, two steps back. He'd never lost his ambition, it was just buried under fear and doubt. But now, he was ready to reach his dreams, and he had you as his light in dark times to guide him.

#ficswithluv #fwlbingo2020 #bulletproof bingo #btsbookclub #armysource #hyunglinenetwork #bangtanscenery #bangtanarmynet #min yoongi #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi drabble #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts imagine #bts #min yoongi au

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hallelujah-lockandload · 4 years ago

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this fic is officially in the works. Update! Got to the 8th chap and bruhhh this fic is gonna be a nice longish one. Its vamp Gee cause I write to please myself. Anyone want to Beta? Im posting it officially!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/243936475-sweet-venom?utm_source=web&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share_myworks

“Just think happy thoughts” I mumbled as I held my hand to my bleeding neck.

“Happy thoughts aren’t going to stop me” the voice rang out around me “neither is your little boyfriend” Boyfriend? I pull a face thinking of Gerard as my boyfriend. If only but also… what an interesting time that would be considering he currently hates me. Let’s go back a bit and figure out why exactly I’m stuck in my favorite abandoned building being hunted by an asshole vampire that I wish I could shove a stake up their ass.

2 months ago~

Just your average high school senior living a relatively chill life, semi absent parents which makes this fanfiction worthy of a life ya know. I’ve got enough freedom living in the small town of Bellvile that I don’t need to let my parents know everything of who I’m with and where I am, as long as it sounds safe or I just lie. Being an only child makes it so easy to lie or at least I learned to lie very well.

Anyway! Its senior year right! Gonna be the best time of my high school career right? I mean my best friend Mikey is in most of my classes despite him being a grade below me, he’s smart okay. I’m not dumb, he’s just smart. We hang out a ton which is the best and we work on dumb lyrics together and I’m trying to get him to sing but he refuses says its not his thing and that his brother is way better at it. Mikey likes to think his brother and I would get along great because we’ve got tons of common interests but… he hates me?

I have zero clue as to why, it’s just always been like that. Gerard’s never really talked to me and even when we had classes together he wouldn’t even try to talk to me. Its shitty cause I’m best friends with his brother and at his house a lot but like I guess I gotta live with that. I’m not friends with him or his and Mikey’s friends cause I just feel like that’s too awkward. I mean Ray and I are friends but not like Mikey and I. Ray is like a friend out of convenience cause we have classes together and I’m friends with Mikey so we hang sometimes.

I usually hang out with my friends Patrick, Pete, and my other best friend Kristin that Mikey has a huge crush on. They would be so cute if they got together! But Mikey is shy and Kristin just out right refuses to make the first move, the tension is so thick you need a chainsaw to cut that. It’s so frustrating.

Well that’s my friends and my situation so far but now it’s time to actually start senior year and honest this nice recap as I lay in bed waiting for my alarm to go off was really nice. I hate waking up before my alarm, it’s like bitch I could’ve slept in more but noooo my body just had to betray me. I looked to the clock, honestly five minutes before my alarm is whatever so I guess it’s time to get ready. Glad I took those last 10 minutes to think about my life and my friends.

Getting up for school is such a hassle, I wish summer didn’t end but like, I guess I’m excited for school too. Mostly my friends and my electives, and the fact that seniors only have to take English, gov/econ, and math. The rest are all mine.

I went through my closet and picked something cute and punk. I consider myself a punk just because I don’t care too much what people think of me and I’m going to be true to myself even if that offends people. But also my music and style choices make me look pretty punk. I picked out my fav blue plaid bottoms (skirt or pants or shorts it’s your look) and a plain baseball tee that I tucked into them. Then went and put some makeup on just like I like. Once that was done it was time for hair which I decided could wait cause food is more important so I head downstairs in search for the food.

#gerard way #gerard x reader #gerard way x reader #my chemical romance #mcr #mari speaks #mcr fanfic #mcr fanfiction

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conchstellations · 5 years ago

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watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING.

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE” okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect.

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold.

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better.

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf.

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason.

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive.

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

#lord of the flies #lotf #lotf 1990

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bladekindeyewear · 6 years ago

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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==> (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there. Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot. >:|

Oh SHIT wait. That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever??? That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here. D:

Rose, puns. Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls? Huh. Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait. Numerological significance? Are we actually learning what 413 means? Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead? I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch. So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh. She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore. A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of. As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches. Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute. Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet. What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something. Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics. Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain? Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose? Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation?? Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess??? I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it. I’ll understand it in later pages. I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section. Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance. Oh shit. Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering? Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something??? Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh. Is this really going to work? As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale? It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far. I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out? Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool. Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it. That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff. Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff. This is going to be a bit interesting. And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot. Yay Jade! --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone. AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her??? That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually. Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it. That’s nonbinary-awesome! And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow. Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her. That, or, like... Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful. Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst. Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan. Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others. That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp. Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp. Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS. I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD. I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe. Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat. Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting. Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab. He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election??? Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous! Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too. :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far? Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much. Is it just because it has the word wife in it. Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff. Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff. Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too. :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh. What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk? Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor. And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her?????? D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting. I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually. Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in? (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it. And here she is or whatever. :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait. Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff? What the fuck is going on. It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter. I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now? Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here? I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator. Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story. With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever. Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story. Or something. Hmm.

Also, huh. Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy. A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself. Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you? Because you’ll be everyone? Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister. Just partially. Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah. So the candy part IS written. I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here. Pretty awesome. I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous. Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you. That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or? Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit. Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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