#this is the funniest fucking emote i've ever found but it's also me

[deadn30n]

so i uh. found some old photos of eden with their hair down and i

( ͡👁️ ͜ʖ ͡👁️)

[verdantlights]

Thoughts/Analysis Part 2 (but its coherent)

OKay so i slept (finally) after staying up since wednesday morning and only getting roughly 5 hours of sleep in total?? until I finally managed to get decent hours of sleep last night. anyways. i am still not normal in the slightest over round 7 but i have many more thoughts, am a lot more coherent, and have had it swimming in my head for a while.

TW for mentions of drug use. I'm gonna start with Luka. I've stated in the edit I made of the original post as well as in a few reblogs, but Luka is a victim. A lot of people are Luka haters, and that's valid! I am also, to an extent, a Luka hater.... even if I have a thing for blonde twinks with issues. But his character is also incredibly interesting. If you are familiar with Honkai: Star Rail, then you might understand what I'm saying when I think Luka is a combination of both Sunday AND Robin. He has the trapped bird in a cage mentality from Robin with the need for order and control mentality from Sunday. Order and control referring to winning being the only thing keeping his sanity in check.

Luka, as a human pet, is aware that he is playing a losing game. He needs to win, but he knows that winning Season 50 is not the end. He may have won against Till, but now the segyein are going to put him against Hyuna, considering Hyuna and Mizi were referred to as special guests. The way he looked at Hyuna in that last scene was part of him realizing this. It's the face you pull when you realize something horrible, but you need to keep face/keep your composure.

Their ear pieces are similar to their collars in that they show the emotions of the wearer. We can clearly see Till's earpiece glowing red the entire time (up until Mizi appears), and Luka's is constantly glowing green. Luka was seen in hysterics pretty much the entire time like the one frame where he's holding in his laughter.

Luka was drugged on something that makes him euphoric and lose his sense of control, like weed or cocaine. He found fucking with Till to be the funniest thing ever, but it's not normal for Luka to be so outwardly expressive of his elation. We know he enjoyed fucking with Mizi, even if it let to getting his ass beat, but even then, he wasn't as expressive then as he was with Till. That leads me to believe that he has something in his system to heighten his emotional output as well as some sort of adrenaline drug like what Till was most likely given.

What bugs me is that they don't show us what color his earpiece is as he looks at Hyuna. We see Till's earpiece turn green at Mizi, but does Luka's stay green as he looks at Hyuna? I feel it was orange, but that's just me.

Luka now knows what's about to happen, which is also why Hyuna tries to stop Mizi. Hyuna knew the whole time that if they were to save Till, they'd be walking straight into the trap. Mizi's heart is too kind and she's desperate to save Till.

Thankfully, what Hyuna had gone there for originally seems to be completed. Whatever files she was downloading was complete before she went after Mizi, and I think that's where were gonna see Issac and Dewey again. I think she might've been uploading those files to them so that they can take the lead from there. This leads me to my prediction for the next episode. (ill get to till last, hes my little meow meow and im not normal about him)

I don't think Blink Gone is done. I believe there is a part two to the Finals, and that round 7 wasn't even the final round. I've already stated that the most likely thing to happen next is Luka v Hyuna, but then I also talked about Issac and Dewey.

Hyuna could have gotten her hands on high profile data regarding Alien Stage. She sends the data to Dewssac, and they shut down the stage from the inside, allowing the resistance to come in and do a massive sweep, hopefully before either Hyuna, Luka, or Mizi dies.

Now, as for Mizi. We know Mizi is the main character, and there are people who are saying Till's death boosts her hero arc. Now there are two ways I see this happening, either:

Vivinos keeps up their streak of tragedy and kills off everyone, leaving Mizi isolated entirely.

Or someone (dewssac, hyuna, mizi, maybe even luka) pull through and live to save more people.

If it's the first one, Till is dead dead. If the second, Till has a chance at being alive.

There are many reasons why Till is most likely alive, and as a hopeful feeler... I also am clinging onto the more hopeful ending (the second option). Not just because "Haha guys I need Till to be alive, he's my bias" but also because seeing Mizi completely isolated and forced to fake a smile and perform would absolutely fucking destroy me and I don't think I'd ever be the same after that, honestly. Like that genuinely scares me.

There's the narrative of ALNST and vivimeng's beautiful storytelling. That is my number one hopeful reasoning for Till being alive. If Till dies here, it would be utterly nonsensical and it would ruin the narrative. It would completely void all of Ivan's character, for starters. I was just talking about this with @rockwgooglyeyes and Vant (idt they wanna be tagged here), but Ivan's character is static. He is not dynamic or fluid, but he is extraordinarily complex which makes up for it. He never really had an arc of his own unless you count what happened in his past during/before being bought by Unsha. His death is meant to haunt the narrative, meant to haunt Till. So why would he die, only for Till to die a few hours later? It would completely ruin what he was meant for and it would be so unsatisfying and bitter.

However, there's also the thematics of ALNST. Rock called out @pwippy for this already, but I'm gonna call them out too because fuck you plip (/j i love you plipster). Rock put it really well in these two excerpts I took from his post:

"Alien Stage is a universe full of suffering and pain for humans, forced to perform until they literally die on stage, all for the entertainment of the audience. It's not even meant as a way of exerting control or oppressing them, though it serves that purpose, because why would the seygein bother to oppress something that can't even fight back? Why go to the trouble of controlling something that is just a pet, whose cries are the fuel for a new age?"

Once again mentioning the Hunger Games because I genuinely can't help myself I love THG way too much, but that's the key difference between ALNST and THG: the human pets aren't being forced to do this because of a past rebellion and are being punished by the oppressing government... They're being thrown into this for fun. Full credit to @alien-til-i-stage who said this as a joke, but it is really fucking real, but the segyein bringing their human pets to watch ALNST in the audience are like people bringing dogs to a dog fight in real life. And that, I fear, puts into perspective as to just how much of a pet the humans are to the segyein. They are only there for entertainment. The resistance is mostly a thorn in their side as of right now (dewey and issac better change that next episode or istg) and killing these humans is simply just fun for them. They know humans can be hostile, just like dogs, but they tame them and make them docile and obedient, only to make them kill each other in the end, even if it's through a singing competition rather than an all out teeth and claws brawl. (except for round 5, that doesnt count)

"In this world of pain and suffering, perhaps death is a mercy. If Till is truly dead, then he no longer a tool for his oppressors, he is free of their control. For Ivan and Sua both of their deaths were mercies to them- Ivan was able to die for the one he loved, as was Sua, and neither of them were forced to live in a world without their beloved."

(thank you rock i love you pookie snookie)

He also mentions that it's not in character for Till to die, which I completely agree with. Till's persona is that of someone who wants to win, but not in the same way Luka needs to win. Till wants to win to live and survive with those he loves, he wants to win to beat the system, but considering how dystopian of a world this is, as much as he wants to win and save Mizi, he craves death as a freedom.

That out of the way, another thing that @junebluues actually got me to think about was this:

The bomb has Till's eyes and is crying as it knows it's going to die (assuming it's a sentient alien like Freddie). And the comparison here honestly opened my eyes a little bit and got me thinking.

Was Till a catalyst? Because that was a smoke bomb. I ended up thinking about it for a minute and came up with three possibilities where Till is a bomb/smoke bomb:

Mizi is using Till to hide her feelings

Till is the bomb that sets off a chain of events

Till is used to hide/cover up the real plan for either the segyein or for the resistance

I don't think it's the first one, I feel like it'd be closer to the other two, but any three of those could work. Because Mizi's feelings of despair over her situation can be hidden behind the hope as she reached out for Till. But as the smoke clears (Till dies) she remembers that it was, in fact, a bomb.

EDIT: Also, the lyric that plays during the smoke bomb scene is "No, don't look back now" which also kinda leads me to believe that Till is the start of a chain/domino effect. Once you knock the first domino, you can't go back.

I think someone somewhere had also talked about Till being forced to be used as a catalyst/bait again considering how well it worked here. There's a good chance Urak might have supplied the drugs to Till and also paid out or WAS paid out by another person to use Till as bait. Urak wouldn't want his pet that he is grossly possessive over to die that easily without every ounce of use being wrung out of him,,, something something Till being a Trojan Horse of sorts (thanks rock for that one, too).

EDIT: I also remembered that during the sequence in the song where the audience is singing the chorus and we see Ivan on the screens, is when Till looks like he's about to pass out. What gets me here is the fact that it is quite literally a chorus of vultures. The audience singing the chorus with images of Ivan surrounding him and seeing Luka mimic Ivan made Till realize that he was surrounded and that's when he started losing hope. It's why his reaction to Mizi is so prominent, because it's like she was there to save him from the vultures. The audience singing is my favorite and also least favorite part of the video/song because the feeling of being surrounded and cornered with everyone against you and their voices echoing in your head... really does it for me. I really want to animate this sequence from up close in Till's POV.

Anyways the 4th reason i had for the bomb theory was that Till is smoking hot (sorry). okay im done now i think,,,,,, i might actually come back with more because i think i forgot something... but i cant remember..... i forgor.....

other tags: @shakingparadigm @aakaneeee @ivanttakethis @k9punkout @crustyfloor @apriciticreveries @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @nottoonedin @paperstarry

side note that i genuinely put more effort into my analyses than i have ever put into any school essay ever

edit: FUCK I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE THE LYRICS AGAIN GOD DAMNIT i dont feel like doing that anymore ill just do it later maybe

[rwuffles]

okay, so, calico cove has gotten me mushy — because of people crying over my notes, me getting emotional over the notes i got, and the community as a whole. blame them for this heartfelt mushfest, i guess; this is an appreciation letter because i can't keep my big fat mouth shut ever!

to the mogai community as a whole: thank you. for, what? i don't think i could get into the specifics if i tried. we are, to be quite frank, a mess at times — discourse and drama and pettiness galore — but god i'd be lying to say i don't love it anyways. i found the community when i was stuck in a really toxic friend group, and when i was starting to hide parts of myself in order to fit in / not get bullied. it didn't really work. but, i found everyone here. people who ided similarly to me, people who also hoarded stuff, and god i fucking adored all of the coining and npt blogs. it's been a really long ride, and i'm still trying to figure myself out as we go along, but i wouldn't be, well, xuân if it weren't for everything that this community has shown me. coining and flag-making have been there for me when i didn't have words to describe how i felt, and when i needed people who'd accept me for being me; it's shown me that i shouldn't settle for anything less than that. everything i do on this blog, really, is a love letter to the community as a whole and me trying to give back everything its given me, and i hope that's clear with how much love goes into everything i create.

and, god, don't even get me started on how much i adore everyone i've met through the community!

some people i'm not quite as close with as i used to be, and some people i don't talk with at all anymore, but i have to be honest when i say that i adore and am grateful towards everyone in the community i've met during my time within it.

to @vampitsm: what sort of appreciation letter would this be if it didn't include you? you've been my friend since, what, one of my old old blogs? it's been one whole year since we've become friends; can you believe that? it was actually right around this time that we started gaia's — or rather, sweetshop. when we first met, i'll be honest and say that i didn't think we'd stay friends long. i'd always held a fairly pessimistic view of the people around me — assuming they'd leave or i'd drop them one way or another. but, you didn't. you'd stayed, you were my friend, you sided with me time and time again. at some point, i found myself wanting to be your friend — even though we already were friends! i'll be honest and say that a lot of the time, when i do things, i hope that i'll make you laugh. you and your opinion mean a lot to me, and i always look forward to the next time we talk.

to @fangpunk: there's so much i could say about you, you little faggot (silly). when i'd first joined mogaiblr, you were one of our inspirations — we looked up to you, wanted to be your mutual, and just generally thought y'all were one of the coolest guys out there. who woulda thought that we'd have the friendship we do today? you're an amazing friend, i think you're one of the funniest people we know and you've always got something to say — in a good way! i love your input on every situation, and especially when izuku isn't scared to put his foot down in our place; you make us less scared to be ourself and encourage us to be less of a pushover. so, thank you!

to @cloverpilled: you're a real dork. my dork, though. maybe i should've realized i didn't quite just see you as a friend when i was vying for your attention and calling you 'my favorite' all the time; but, it worked out in the end, didn't it? everything you make — flags, rentries, layouts, etc. — are always wonderful and i still get giddy seeing you put 'taken' in your rentries and knowing that's me. i've always loved our friendship, and i can't fathom a world without it, especially not now that we're boyfriends. i know you're not the best with words — comforting, being open, all that jazz — and i've never minded it. really, i think you're one of the sweetest people in the world and you always try your best even if it's not in the most forward or obvious manner.

to shua: you. you have been in the fucking psych ward for the past... 4-5 months? i miss you so much, dude; i'm so happy you're going to be out in 2 days. i can't wait to spend the rest of the holidays with you and everyone else in gaia's. you're an amazing person, to be entirely honest, and i miss spending time with you. you've been my friend since before i was here on rwuffles. do you know how fucking long that is? i've looked up to you since forever, and i'm so happy that we're friends. i cherish you and i cherish our friendship as a whole more than i think i could ever express, sometimes i can't believe that we've been friends for so long, but we have! to another year of you & i!

to hadiyah: i have no idea what your current (?) tumblr account is, to be entirely honest, so i hope this finds its way to you one way or another. you're such an amazing person, i think you're so funny and i love talking with you — it's always a treat. sure, you aren't quite as active in gaia's anymore; i don't mind. i still consider you a really good friend of ours. you've been our friend since... the beginning of gaia's as well, i believe? so, really, i couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life and to have had you as a friend for so long! thank you, so much.

to @sevvys: sev. you. you are so cool and awesome and i love talking to you. thank you for being our friend — we don’t even remember how long we’ve been friends for. but, thank you. to be entirely honest, you’re an older sibling figure in our lives and we love being able to hang out and make stupid jokes; i think you’re really funny and i’ve always looked up to you in a way if that doesn’t sound weird? i don’t talk to you as much as i wish i did, and i want that to change, but you’re always super level-headed in my opinion and really good at handling discussions i guess. i don’t know how to express how cool i think you are. you’re just a really reliable, caring person i think

to @rabidbatboy: i think i’ve looked up to you for… an absurdly long amount of time. when you first started coining, you were one of the only people coining less “cutesy” stuff; it was definitely a breath of fresh air and we found ourselves super excited to see any new terms you’d come up with. to be honest? we still love everything you coin, even if we aren’t quite in the fandoms you’re coining for — plus i just think you’re awesome as a person. i love talking to you, as i’ve said to lots of people, you’re super funny and i always look forward to talking to you next! you’re not quite as active in gaia’s anymore, and i know you’re not the best with words, so i don’t expect anything grand in response; i just want you to know that i really care about you and i’ve always appreciated your presence.

to eddie: that’s right, oldie! you get a section, too! because i consider you a really good friend of ours, even if i don’t talk to you very much and you aren’t (?) quite in the mogai community. i really like talking to you and i like our back and forth banter a lot — it feels like you’re an older sibling of ours a lot of the time. i like being the annoying little brother to you, and i really hope that we can keep being friends. it feels really weird being genuine and expressing how much you matter to me considering how often we tend to jokingly butt heads, but i just need you to know that i really love our friendship and i can’t imagine it being any other way. i hope your holidays are good, ya old fuck (affectionate).

and, this section isn't quite for people who are in the mogai community. rather, friends & loved ones i've known since before then that i love with all my heart and that have supported me throughout everything — discovering myself and realizing how much i adore these labels. there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you all and appreciate your staying by my side and not abandoning me.

to elipse, my dear boyfriend: thank you. you’ve supported me through everything — even when it felt like everyone else was against me and i was left on my own again. you are my dearest, my beloved, my forever and my eternity; i’m not scared to be mushy about that. it’s been a wonderful two years by your side, and i hope for it to be many more. you’ve loved me through my ups and downs, my wrongs and rights, my weirdest moments and all the cute stuff in-between. you’ve been my number one supporter — especially when i was first starting to become a mogai coiner — and you’ve remained my number one supporter since. you’re the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever ask for: supportive, sweet, considerate, and amazing. i love you. 

to caelan, my lovely girlfriend: you!! you’ve been my best friend for seven years. do you know how long that is? i’m 16! i was 9 when we met! i’ve almost known you and akemi for longer than i haven’t! that is both a terrifying and wonderful thought: to have someone by your side for so long that you can recall more of your life with them than without it. i adore everything about you, and i’m so sorry if it seems like i’m a bit awkward or not the best conversationalist sometimes; everything about you is amazing and i just feel like a little wet dog near you somedays. i miss you so much, and i hope your break from fronting is going well, and that you know i love you and am so excited to talk to you again when you’re back. 

to akemi, one of my bestest and oldest friends: a lot of what i said in caelan’s note is what i’d say to you. we’ve known eachother for so long, that it’s hard to imagine my life if you hadn’t been in it. actually, i think my entire life would’ve taken a different course if we hadn’t met on that fnaf minecraft roleplay on hypixel — can you believe it? how such little things manage to make such big impacts on our lives and who we are as people? i know we don’t talk as much anymore, but, as i’ve said before, i consider you one of my dearest friends and you mean the complete world to me. so, thank you for having stayed by my side for so long, akemi.

to ice, my amazing sister: you!!! the sister ever!!! you’ve always taken on an older sibling role in my life since we met, and i think you just tend to slot into that role perfectly; thank you for always being there for me and taking care of me. i don’t think i’d have made it this far without you being there and reassuring me every step of the way. we might not be super close, or talk as much as i’d like us to, but i really enjoy your company and love talking with you. i’m just a little bit of an awkward guy. when you send me stuff on pinterest, it always makes me happy and i love checking and seeing that i have a new message from you. i can’t believe we’ve been friends for — how long is it, at this point — six years? i think around that time. that’s unbelievable to me.

to smg, my one & only brother: the stupidest most dorkiest most infuriating brother i could ever have the pleasure of knowing and being able to call my brother. that’s what you are. you and your stupid brainrot and stupid jokes and stupid everything — i could never imagine a world where you aren’t my brother. even if you act like you don’t care a lot of the time, you make sure we know that you do care (even if it’s in your own, stupid little way). i love being your friend and i’m so grateful i’ve had you in my life for so long. you are the first and currently the only online friend who i’ve been able to meet irl, and i hope to be able to see you again sometime soon. even if you never quite got the labels that i’d talk about or ramble about, and even if you might get on my nerves sometimes, you’re still my brother at the end of the day and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

next up, we have people who i don’t quite talk to as much anymore who’s presences in my life i really appreciate. of course, i’m not sure if all of them still have tumblr blogs — most being deactivated — or if they even really want to hear how i care about them. so, really, i’ll leave this brief and say that this part is addressed to: ghost, mimsy, and woodbyne. thank you guys for having played such a large role in our lives at one point or another, and i wish you all the best even if we don’t talk as much nowadays. 

i don’t think that i can dedicate a paragraph to everyone, even if i really wish i could, as i don’t think most people are going to be willing to read through this whole post with the length that it’s getting to. so, i’m just gonna tag a bunch of people? just to let you guys know that you’re loved in every which way even if i have a shitty time showing it to all of you? 

the sillies ever who are so kind and sweet and i enjoy everytime they send me asks, reblog, leave a reply, or just interact with me in general: @ainoshonen @smilepilled @angeltism @zoeynovie

coiners that are actually a lot smaller than i thought they were that i think are so cool and need more recognition: @acronym-chaos @nostalgiagender

OTHER coiners that i think deserve recognition for the things they do and the stuff they create even if i didn’t think they were big at first: @sylviestial @pupcoins @love-letterworm @jiiamp @boingogender @kitsflagz

other BIG coiners that i look up to and have looked up to for a long time — whether we’re currently actually friends (which i still can’t get over), we don’t talk a lot if we do know eachother, or that i haven’t met personally: @idwl @kiruliom @webby-mogai @gender-mailman @puriette-archived @lunentity @the-astropaws @lepus-fangs

everyone who participated in mogai team-up, which, i can’t get over the fact we’ve managed to hit 1k followers because holy SHIT that’s a lot of fucking people, but thank you guys for coming together to help me celebrate it and let this fucking monster of an event (very positive) happen in the first place: @daybreakthing @floraeth @kylertism @robofox-mogai @dragonpuff17 @novaurora @flutteringwings-coining @xyrthemost @catboy-autism @cannibalisticcoinz

if i didn't tag you... uh. our memory is shit, sorry! i tried to remember everyone and i'm literally going to cry if i forgot someone

finally, to everyone in calico cove: thank you. for all of you coming together to help me create a community that’s so loving, so sweet and accepting that it has managed to become a safe space for a plethora of people that i’d have never imagined it to. you’re all lovely, and i’m so glad to be able to share a space with everyone and anyone that’s there. calico cove as a whole just makes me super emotional — cheesy, i know — but it’s essentially one of my dreams come true. it’s been an aspiration of mine to be able to create safe spaces with people wherever i go, and to foster an environment where people feel safe to be themselves without ridicule or fear of judgement. i’m so glad that i’ve been able to create that in calico cove. to hear you guys say or admit that it’s a safe space for you makes me emotional everytime, even if i’m not fully able to convey that to you all. 

thank you to everyone in the mogai community; have a happy holidays!

[hazardparadox]

Okay listen, I just need to talk rant about these two memes (pics?) That have been rotting in my camera roll for a sec because I'm bored and waiting for my flight

Found on pinterest in the deep dark corners (probably not. I just kept scrolling and found them)

For the first one OH MY FUCK I WAS DYING WHEN I FIRST SAW IT. I live for the Oscar and Carlos drama and it was by far my fave thing to come from the 2023 season (the landoscar podiums were great too I guess) I just think it's so funny with all the comparisons to carlando and landoscar

Pls I literally sent it to way too many people to the point where one of my friends blocked me

And it's also got baby Oscar who looks pretty much the same and showing more emotion than he ever has in f1 (jk) (sorta) and the whole expression is just so funny to look at AND JUST LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMIRK!!!

But anyway all the Oscar/Carlos memes and things are the funniest shit ever I swearrrr and if anyone has more (vids or posts or anything) memes I'd love to see it

THE NICKNAME AND THE PRONOUNCIATION OF A NAME.

This is so special to me oh my god.

I don't even know why but something about this is so precious and the way that it's so perfect and accurate and ARGJHSHF I'm just a sucker for this kind of stuff and they're all so important to me omg

And the video of Max saying 'Charlie' 😭❤️ (but let's bfr he probably didn't say it. BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ITS TRUE)

I swear I've seen a compilation of Lando saying 'Oscah' but I have no idea where or if it was just a figment of my imagination but it's just stupidly cute to me

Also I just love the pic of Lando and Max in general

Here's an extra for you if you read suffered through the whole rant

[liannaedgelord]

my friend @jeffstormer has a good-ass actual play podcast for 2-player story games and you should listen to it if you don't

so to that end, i made a list of my fav @partyofonepod episodes in no real order

Clicks & Hums & Sirens & The Sun: You know how sometimes you go to a big loud dance party and you fall in love with a boy and then later you have a big stupid breakup? This is a game about that. This episode is a funny relatable emotional rollercoaster and I'm on it and we talk about Weezer.

Something Happened & The Lights Are Out: A really sweet conversation between two long distance friends before the electricity goes out forever. Also I wrote the game. This is the last personal bias pick, I swear.

The My Little Pony RPG Alex Pearlman Found In His House When He Moved In: Exactly what it says on the tin. This is the funniest shit I've ever heard.

I Have The High Ground: I just love when a duel is super horny for no reason. Like I REALLY love that. Don't @ me, as the kids probably no longer say.

Knowing You: The small sad breakup game that made me want to write small sad breakup games. Everything on my Itch page flows from this episode. Just a beautiful melancholy story of smalltown heartbreak.

Hey Man, I Love You, But No Fucking Way: Speaking of small towns. A little slice of life drama about teens getting ready to leave the shitty little town they grew up in. This episode introduced me to one of my favorite albums and I listen to both whenever I start feeling nostalgic for places I hated actually living.

We Used To Be Friends: A real fun little teen mystery game that, if I'm being totally honest, is mainly on this list because one of Jeff's characters, Preston, is a hilarious pitch perfect impression of everybody I hung out with in high school. It fucking kills me every time, and you may feel similarly if you also were autistic in high school.

Cadences: Making art about making art is really easy to do insufferably, but when it hits, man it HITS. It's not even sad or anything, but I'm an artist with a love/hate relationship to being perceived and this is a small personal story about the conflict between wanting to do art for an audience and wanting to do it for its own sake. So uh, it kinda makes me cry despite being a pretty upbeat game.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 43 – ENEMIES TO LOVERS

SERIES: The Buzzfeed Listiverse by gogglor

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 66,759 Tags: Didn't Know They Were Dating, Team as Family, Healing

Reasons why I love it: The premise of this series seems so simple, and yet gogglor manages to infuse it with so much emotion and real life experiences and deep conversations about the meaning of belonging and home, and I just – fuck, I love it so much. I don't think I can adequately convey just how good this series is, so I hope you'll believe me when I say that this is an absolute must-read for anyone who likes Stony. I'm serious, do yourself a favor and read it right now. I promise you'll love it just as much as I do.

This series consists of:

15 Things to Do in NYC If You've Been Stuck in an Ice Berg for 70 Years

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 39,935 Tags: Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, New York City

Summary: Tony and Steve can't stand each other, but they agree for the sake of the team and the people that rely on them that they have to figure out a way to get along. So they come up with a plan to spend time together, in the form of a Buzzfeed listicle of things to do in New York City. Because if you go to enough museums with the guy you can't stand, you should *eventually* stop hating him, right? -- Come for the slow burn, stay for everyone's opinions on Cats the musical and a story about teenage Tony stealing an ice cream truck in an attempt to get laid.

Reasons why I love it: This is one of my all-time favorite Stony fics. It has everything I love – amazing characterization, impeccable dialogue, humor and fluff in spades and just enough angst to spice it up. I especially love all of the life advice Tony imparts on Steve without ever realizing how insightful he is in matters of the heart. And Steve's realization that he's actually falling for Tony is so well-written that it makes me grin like an idiot every time. If you haven't read this one yet, you absolutely have to, because every word is pure gold.

Stupid Sexy Avengers

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 22,626 Tags: Team Bonding, Humor, Embarrassing Sex Stories

Summary: Tony, Steve, Nat, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Jane, and Rhodey all tell each other the funniest thing that's ever happened to them related to their sex lives. If you're interested in hearing the Avengers tell stories about their lives that are funny and mortifying and surprisingly sweet, you've found your fic.

Reasons why I love it: All of these stories just keep getting funnier and funnier. I love that we get to see the full version of Tony's ice cream truck adventure and Steve's sock misfortune, but the stories that really take the cake for me are Jane's and Thor's, I was crying laughing the whole time. Definitely check this one out, especially if you need a good laugh today!

The Future Talk

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 4,198 Tags: Established Relationship, Communication, Plans For The Future

Summary: Tony and Steve have been dating for a little while, and they talk about their future and whether they can make it work in the long term.

Reasons why I love it: In my experience, it's pretty rare to find fanfics that deal with these kinds of serious, real life relationship issues, and gogglor explores them beautifully. Also, I love the light-hearted, kinky note this ends on, it's like a perfect bow on top of the present you've been waiting for all year. This series is delightful, and if you haven't yet, I hope I've convinced you to read it, because I'm sure you'll love it just as much as I do!

[lazzarella]

I started watching Asian BL series at the end of January this year, so I'm still pretty new to them, but I thought it would be fun to post my top 10 so far, and then check in every now and then to see how it changes! At this point I've watched around 38 series, not including specials, etc. (16 Thai; 11 Japanese; 10 South Korean and 1 Taiwanese)

Anyway, the current top 10:

1. My Personal Weatherman (2023, Japan)

I've watched this 5 or 6 times now! Miscommunication (or, even better, total lack of communication) is one of my biggest weaknesses! I live for it! I often hate when characters talk their feelings out too soon (or sometimes at all lmao), so this is like... perfect for me! And their dynamic was so delicious too

2. Moonlight Chicken (2023, Thailand)

This was my first BL and so it was also my introduction to EarthMix (who I'm now obsessed with). It's always nice to see adults falling in love, but I think the contrast with young love was really nice too! But I definitely preferred the JimWen plot. Earth did a great job of embodying a character ten years older than he is and Mix was great too and I love how everyone actually looks sweaty and it's just a really beautifully made series

3. KinnPorsche (2022, Thailand)

This was the first BL series I ever heard of, I think! But I couldn't figure out how to watch it in 2022 for some reason, so it took me a couple of years to get there lol I'm going to be honest, it's not what I was expecting at all! Everyone kept talking about how dark and fucked up it is, but it's so funny and goofy!!! Like, there are dark elements, but the delivery overall is very silly to me (in a good way), and it's honestly one of the funniest things I've seen in my life haha and the romance between Kinn and Porsche is everything, really

4. Cherry Magic (2023, Thailand)

I did watch the Japanese one first and adored it, but there's something about TayNew and what they bring to these characters and romance that really had me hooked. Plus I prefer Jinta to Tsuge XD but this is just such a sweet and heartwarming show ;__; I wish it hadn't had the copyright issues because it's kind of a PITA to rewatch

5. Boys Be Brave! (2024, South Korea)

Full disclosure: I didn't care for the side couple but I'm OBSESSED with Jinwoo and Kisub. They're both low key weirdos and there's nothing more I love than weirdos finding love in each other! Plus, they're opposites attract, another favourite of mine. It's a very cosy and comforting series

6. Old Fashion Cupcake (2022, Japan)

Hit me right in the rapidly approaching 40 feels! I just... It's just gorgeous. Just so lovely! The romance is beautiful and it looks beautiful and the acting is beautiful! BEAUTIFUL!

7. Cherry Magic (2020, Japan)

I've found that, while I gravitate overall to the Thai shows so far, the Japanese ones make me more emotional? Maybe it's because they do the ~I'm not worthy of love thing so well. But this was so sweet and special 

8. A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021, Thailand)

There were some aspects that bothered me that kept it from being perfect, but it's a lovely story and Earth and Mix really have something special together onscreen (well, I love their offscreen interactions too haha) And I love the setting! And knowing this was Mix's first acting gig???? Incredible!

9. Cupid's Last Wish (2022, Thailand)

Didn't care for the side story with the aunt and uncle, and it gets a bit wishy washy toward the end, but I LOVE road trip stories and I love body swap and I think the way it was done here was really good. The transitions between Jan and Mix playing Win were SO well done and Earth gets to play a slightly more lighthearted character and there's a lot of lovely scenery and some cute cows! Plus, Jan and Mix are both so cute when they eat lol

10. Manner of Death (2020, Thailand)

As a life long lover of mysteries, I didn’t feel the mystery plot was particularly strong, but this series is kind of batshit and I love it. Plus smalltown mysteries are my jam, strong or not! And it has the most unhinged proposal I've seen to date

Aaaaannd that's it for now! I can easily see Wandee Goodday making its way into this list when I do an update (probably even my top 5)

Oh, but for fun, my average ratings by country:

Japan: 8.2; Thailand: 8.3; South Korea: 8.6

Which is funny because the South Korean ones have, overall, been less enjoyable for me lol but I've seen fewer so I think that the few highly rated ones have bumped the rating up haha

[mikuni14]

PitBabe - Ep 9

I feel deceived and tricked by this series from the very beginning, from the first trailer lol And I have no idea if this is an intentional effect or it just happened by accident 😄 These are, of course, just my feelings.

I mean, even the promotion of this series suggested something completely different than what is in the series. The CharlieBabe relationship dynamic is COMPLETELY not my style and if I had known about it beforehand, I would never have even started this show.

The series also decided to hire Nut, of all the actors 😍, who made one of the main antagonists of the series one of the most interesting and compelling characters. In addition, they developed this character in such a way that he make me feel sympathetic about him, that is, his love was obvious from the beginning and narratively more interesting and poignant. And then they decided that this character, played in such a perfect way, commits a very realistic, horrific SA. You know, after the entire series when we watched how Way is obsessively in love and completely unable to cope with the fact that Babe is actually slipping away for the first time in his life. So many people, me included, liked Way, or at least found him very interesting. Even those who hated him still talked about him, because he's just such a good character. And then this happened. And people still talk about him and condmen him but like... it's different? So I wonder, is this an intentional effect? To make Way like this? I don't know, but it's VERY interesting. The funniest thing is that the scene of the breakdown of the Way/Babe relationship had so much more emotion and despair than any previous scene of Charlie and Babe fighting, not to mention Babe's heartbreaking scene of literal mourning over the loss of Way's friendship. Babe also grieves more now than after any Charlie's "betrayal". Again: is this the intended effect? 🤷‍♀️

For me, Way, when I look at him objectively, is the worst. This is the type of guy who loves someone, suffers, but does nothing to win the loved one, and his method so far has been to isolate his beloved, I fucking hate such incel types. But the series wrote this role so well and hired such a great actor that, to my horror, after this terrible scene (which was VERY GOOD btw, the horror was not in violence but in how quiet and still it all was and in Babe's face), besides the obvious thoughts in my head: "there is no fucking excuse for what he did", there was also the whole essay "why did Way do it, what led to this scene." There is no excuse for SA, ever. PERIOD. And at the same time, I know perfectly well where it all came from. Again: was this an intended effect? To understand Way? Idk, it's just all crazy, I feel wierdly manipulated, don't ask me why 🤡

How did it happen, when did it happen, that Way and Kenta and their pathetic way of dealing with their trauma and abuse, with their PsychoDad is the most interesting aspect of this series for me? I won't lie when I say that the whole situation with the Father (also a very charismatic character), dependence on him and the toxic relationship between him and Way and Kenta are the most interesting for me and honestly at the moment, I'm watching this series just for that 🤡

(in terms of romance, this series is also wild territory for me, I've already shipped Way with Babe, Way with Pete, Pete with Kenta, Kenta with Kim, Kenta with Way, Babe with Kim and even Winner with Kim - yeah I know 😩 and even, hehe, some forbidden ships appeared in my head that I won't mention here 🤭)

Of course, the series will give Way a chance to atone for what he did, and probably even Babe will forgive him. I mean, I would never forgive anyone for doing something like this, I can't imagine anyone sane doing it, but I predict that Way will "help" a noble cause to save children, redeem his sins, reconcile with Babe, get together with Pete and everything will end well 🤷‍♀️

I also would like to mention, that as an Omegaverse enjoyer, every time the word "mama" comes up in Charlie's conversations with Babe, I want to 🤮

Cherry Magic is the most adorable, sweetest series I'm watching right now. The Sign is the best, most interesting series I'm watching right now. Twins is the most frustrating series I'm watching right now. And PitBabe is the weirdest series I'm watching right now 😆 In the sense that everything in it is turned upside down for me and I have the strangest reactions after every episode. My emotions and reactions are all over the place. I couldn't care less about the main couple if I tried. And villains, morally gray characters, are somehow the most interesting and evoke some weirdest emotions and response in me. Idk, it's just crazy 🤡👻

[xxmoonch1ldxx]

I'm so grateful for this community, for the amount of nice people there are here and how accepting everyone is, but I've got to say, there's one thing I'm most grateful of.

This is just a long emotional rant so skip this if you wish, but I need to let it out my chest.

I've been going through a bad depressive episode; so much so that I even started taking meds for it. It started getting a little better, the meds were finally working a little and that's when I encountered Smosh.

I didn't imagine I'd ever fall this deep. I've had hypergixations before, dozens, but never in this way, and I didn't imagine it'd be about them. It was a complete accident, me stumbling on the we bought smosh video and just being curious.

Not for the first time, this new hyperfixations on two grown men with an adorable friendship made me want to write because everything is gay and that's because I decided so. Therefore, as I often do, I started writing a little on this new hyperfixation. Usually, I just end up giving up or writing a few fics before going back to my two other main fandoms (monsta x and bts, for those wondering). However, I decided that I needed help and a better opinion; I scrolled through the ianthony tag and fell on @lilac-hecox 's blog. She wasn't the first one I saw, but the one I felt compelled to write to, so I did. And I assumed she'd either blow me off or we'd just end up talking a bit before never talking again as this usually happens.

I wasn't ready to meet someone so fantastic and someone who I would very quickly deeply care about. I'm someone who hates texting consistently, who ends up panicking after a few days of thinking I got this and am socially capable because my social anxiety takes the reign. And yet, we started talking every day, of wayyyy more than just fics. And I found in her the kindest of soul, the most loving and funniest one. Someone who's not only amazing, but also, loves just like I do. And I don't mean romantically, I have a bf for that, but I mean someone who isn't afraid to be open and vulnerable if it means I also get to be with her. I'm someone like Ian usually, someone who looks anthipathic and who is a bit more stoic than most people, but with her, it's different. I laugh all the time and she's someone who literally heard me cry and comforted me while I did so. Which is a fucking miracle because I very rarely cry and hate showing the most vulnerable parts of me.

But she's always there, everyday, to make me laugh and talk. She's one of the kindest, most generous person I've ever met. She sent me a fucking box full of little things and American chocolate (I'm canadian) because I've said once I wanted to try. She bought us matching bracelets, one that I wear all the time and never take off. Hell, I'm getting a tattoo referencing her in two weeks.

And this is kinda crazy because we only started talking in August, but this feels right. I feel like I've known her all my life. And really, I say this in the most platonic of ways, but she truly is like my soulmate. She's one of the most talented writer I've ever met, too, and she helped me through that healing phase of mine. I've started writing a lot and posting, too, which I had stopped doing when I started being too depressed. She makes me believe that life is worth living and that there are genuinely good people around, still. She's not only kind to me but to others, too! Just in general, to everyone she knows, she's present and just so implicated in everything. She changed many people's life for the better with her job, too, without going into details, but that's amazing. She's the kind of person I wanna grow up to be when I'm at her age and she just aspires me to get better every day.

So I guess, all that to say, thank you to Smosh for allowing me to meet this gorgeous girl and establishing the ground of our friendship. Lilac is truly one of my best friends and someone who makes me feel alive in the best ways; I see her when the skies are orange, when I see kids playing in the street and having fun and in the stray cats wandering among my neighbourhood. I love you, dude, and I'm just so glad we met. Thank you for existing, really, because you make my life and a lot of others' better by simply being there and being your sunny self.

You're the Ian to my Anthony and the sun to my moon. I love you so much, pookie, and I'll never let you go. Promise one day we'll meet up for real <3

[thnksfrthmmrs]

hey. hey. heyheyhey. today, june 12th, is a very special day. y'know why?

exactly one year ago today, you sent me the first official tiana loves kell sunday ask. and since that day, you and i have grown from casually supportive mutuals to actual family. it is remarkable how much can change in 365 days.

every single weekend, we drop into each other's inboxes to give little kindnesses. we've swapped numbers. we've shared secrets and stories. you've offered me perspective, strength and compassion when i've needed it, and i've offered back a listening ear, reassurance, and well-deserved bullying directed at anyone who has crossed you. we're confirmed, over and over, that we are the funniest motherfuckers alive. i infected you with mcr. you accidentally fell into the hellhole that is professional wrestling, and then decided you liked it down here with me. when the new fob dropped, we got to experience that togehter. we've spent countless nights going fucking batshit insane over fall out boy, wrestlers, bad bunny, ray toro, and so much more.

we can talk about anything. we can trust each other with everything. (and we encourage each other to be As Delusional As Possible and it's AWESOME.)

i drew something to celebrate, bearing in mind that it is ALSO mania monday, hehehe. we got a second fob nod in there, with the seashell, too, because without that silly little band, we never would have crossed paths. guess i should thank them too, eh? (and no, i did not draw the entirety of the water, but it IS my own photograph, so i can do whatever i want and i prommy i'm not a thieving thiever.) i hope you like it.

i've never had an easier time becoming friends with someone, never mind growing to be this close this fast. i am so endlessly thankful to have been able to meet you. i can't wait for all the years to come, because now that we're here, you can't shake me. it's forever now. i love you a lot, tiana. thank you for sending that first tlksunday. the year that followed it was some of the most fun i've ever had. knowing you has made me better. 💜

i’m trying to think of what i can even say (warning: it’s about to get sappy), and i know i already told you but this made me very emotional the second i saw it. now it’s been a few hours and i reread it and really took it all in and it’s still just like man… idk. i’m really lucky to have you.

thank you for letting me in. i know that can be hard, and i sometimes feel like i just bulldozed my way into your life and built myself a home, but you didn’t stop me! now it’s like i can’t even remember what my life was without you and can’t picture a day without you in it, and i’m so excited about that. you can’t shake me either. genuinely, i don’t think there is a single thing that could push me away from you.

i love that we’ve shared so many little parts of our life with each other. we really can talk to each other about anything, and i think it can be really hard to find someone to do that with. we talk about our past and our present and our hope-to-be futures, we share interests, we invite each other into the best and worst parts of each others lives… and you’ve never once judged me. you’ve never made me feel like what i’m saying is “too much.” everything i say is met with such genuine love and compassion. really all i can hope is that i am able to do the same for you, because i love listening to you talk about your interests, about your day, about the things that make you happy, and even the not-so-fun parts of your life. i love every part of you that makes you who you are.

kell, you are one of the most gentle and beautiful souls i have ever crossed paths with. this alone, the fact that you made a point to mark and celebrate when we really started being friends, shows everything i love about you as a person. without a doubt you are the best friend i’ve ever had. i’m so glad i found you, i’m so glad that i pushed away all anxiety and awkwardness and sent you a silly little ask to inform you that i love you, and i’m so glad it let us to where we are now.

and like… a YEAR? it feels like i’ve known you forever and yet that still feels like it went by so fast. the past twelve months have definitely been filled with it’s share of challenges, but you’ve helped and continue to help me face them all while celebrating the good moments and milestones as well. i guess the universe really sent me you at the right time, and i hope i have and can continue to help you through anything that comes your way as well.

i need to wrap this up because it’s almost midnight (YELLING AT YOU AGAIN FOR SENDING ME THIS AS RAW STARTED!!!! making me all emotional while i was distracted smh), but just know you mean more to me than anything in the world. also, you hope i like it? I LOVE IT 🥹 this is genuinely so beautiful and i love seeing us together through your art until the day i’m able to be obnoxious with you in person.

happy one year bestie day, my dear!!! here’s to infinite more 🩷🩷🩷 and hey, have i mentioned i love you? :,)

[bonesandthebees]

DAMN BRO TOMMY IS COLD AF "you just a bastard" i could FEEL the hurt coming thru the screen when i read that, and then tommy just INSTANTLY regrets it, and dang Bee you really did us like that, just jokes tho i loved the chapter and am so looking forward to the next one! i think this is one of my fav AU's even with how many times i yell in my head at how much of a dumbass wil's being and how they all need to grow up, i can already tell this has a special place in my heart. your writing is just *chef's kiss* and i feel the characters pain. who knew block men and a bee could do me like that. THE FUCKING CLIFFHANGER THO, 10 bucks on Jack doin his signuture "Oi, you alright" as wilby storms off. I personally think Niki is on Florisium (that may not be spelled right tho) because of that flashback scene where thats where she said she would wanna go, possibly plottin some revenge:( i have mixed feelings about niki getting betrayed, on one hand DONT DO MY GIRL LIKE THAT and on the other ik that tommy and wilbur couldnt get her out, i just wish they had thought to tell the guards to open the cell and put in the PIN using their Voices. I love what u came up with for Phil's and Techno's baskstory and it makes so much sense. One of my fav little scenes was where wilburs drunk as a skunk and Big Q is just like "please techno get this man out of my room, he keeps trauma-dumping on meeeee" and found that to be practically the funniest shit ever. anways, i love what youve done with stars so far, and am so excited to see future progress!

-👑

aw thank you!! there's so much pain and emotional complexity with the characters in this fic so it just makes me so happy to know it's pulling people in in a way that feels like the characters pain is their own

i'll confirm right now niki is not on floslium. I just didn't want to come up with another planet name but I wanted her to reference a specific planet in that flashback lol. if she was on floslium aimsey would've heard about it because aimsey and niki also became friends when aimsey was on eldingvegr, and if aimsey knew niki was on floslium they'd tell niki that wilbur and tommy are on zephys iv and they would also tell wilbur where niki is. so yeah, niki's not there sorry to say. good theory though!

oh I've seen people point that out, but that wouldn't have worked even if they'd try to use their Voices to get the guards to unlock the cell. the guards there didn't know the cell passcode. that was specifically because they were dealing with a siren, so they knew that if anything in the silencing barrier malfunctioned niki would've been able to make them let her out.

lmao the quackity scene was so fun to write he was so tired of being wilbur's therapist

[wistfulrat]

this week’s fics! feat. bakeries, bookshops, bisexual awakenings of the angsty and fluffy sort, wolfstar goddads being tender as hell, desi harry reconnecting with his culture, domestic drarry, a lap dance set to akon’s smack that, and more!

But That’s History by @ebbet - 54k - T Harry Potter starts his first year as Muggle Studies Professor only to find that Draco Malfoy has been hired to teach History of Magic.

listen to me. this is one of the funniest drarry fics i've ever read. i was cackling in my bed at 2am because harry’s internal monologues throughout this fic are unhinged. insanely quotable. “what was he, a lothario” and “you were crushing me with your muscular thighs!” are lines that live rent free in my empty head. harry has never played anything cool a day in his life. there’s a faculty meeting where the teachers are planning the yule ball and debating the merits of a DJ when harry decides he must defend his muggle-music-loving honor by dancing seductively to akon’s smack that while a blushing draco loses his mind. i fucking screamed. and the best part is that in between the comedic scenes threading the overall story, you have extremely tender moments of like, padma patil helping harry become a more rooted desi by sharing their cultural traditions, harry proudly donning his sherwani. draco wrestling with his past, going to harry’s lgbtq+ club for students, being sheepish with ron and hermione. ugh, comedic writers with emotional depth are clever and talented as hell!!

Realities, Unfurling by @ebbet - 45k - M Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban into a changed world.

incredible collage-fic told from multiple povs. 8yrs post-war and everything’s changed. the current state of the magical world unfolds via slice-of-life snapshots from a truly stunning cast. non-binary harry whom is running a non-prof org dedicated to building tolerance and establishing equality for marginalized identities. post-prison-release draco whose life will be changed by the internet. neville’s tender relationship with blaise. andromeda’s fiercely protective mothering. remus and sirius being alive and very hot and just, the tender goddads harry deserved. cho chang being brilliant. baker pansy’s softened edges. found families abound. harry being flustered by their crush on draco and making personalized playlists on an iPod nano.

that all might sound narratively cluttered but the author more than pulls this off. glorious, start to finish.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 83k - E This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

cinematic. a love letter to oregon’s expansive landscapes and lively cities. it’s harry finding home in unexpected places and people. in the vast silence of rolling fields, endless coasts, and starry night skies big enough to feel like you’re adrift in space. and it’s also the lingering, intimate quiet of early mornings in a bakery, sitting on a park bench overlooking the city as you eat ice cream next to your crush. it’s harry watching ginny and luna dance and work around each other like bees. it’s the slow unfolding of harry and draco’s relationship as they fill each other’s quiet. finishing this fic is like waking from a good dream. transporting, immersive, lovely. 

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft - 20k - E Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

first of all, i feel very seen by draco being a gay-who-can’t-drive. it’s called representation. but mostly i love the ease of harry and draco’s banter, a flustered harry discovering his sexuality, and the way this fic addresses biphobia. also very emo over this exchange: “I think I might be scared of you, but probably not for the reasons you think.” “Yes.” Draco stares at Harry. “I think I might be scared of you too.”

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 40k - E When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

so much to love about this fic. the beautiful settings, from kolkata to mumbai, to the holi festival and colorful lively streets, to remote cave settlements and old intricate temples. it’s harry in the homeland, reconnecting to his family’s heritage and confronting the weight of imperialism in his history. it’s nipping the white savior complex in the bud. this part: That is what England left behind. That is what it still stands for, despite whatever mask of respectability and honour it presents. . .You don't get to step aside and let someone else deal with the mess. You have to listen and learn and then act, Malfoy, you need to learn how to fix your own mess. This is why we're here. my indigenous ass cheered. HP certainly sells the british fantasy but HP fanfic?? fuck jkr, fuck the crown. i love that this fic doesn’t romanticize england’s history. i love that we get to see the vast resilience and beauty of post-colonial india.

Purity Control by yrfrndfrnkly - 28k - T In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

tender 8th year fics where they go from bristly as fuck to understanding and soft 100% guaranteed to make me emo as hell. all the teens have traumas and no one wants to talk about it but eventually Things are Talked About. it’s good of the adults to finally notice. everyone just wants someone to hold their hand. and this part: “You’re the only person around here who’s a bigger mess than I am.” “I thought maybe we could be a mess together,” pls don’t look at me as i weep over their gentle empathy.

Advent, a comic by dustmouth - WIP - T It's Harry and Draco's first Christmas together and Draco is determined to live his full yuletide fantasy, come hell or high water.

dustmouth, patron saint of whimsical drarry. whose illustrations singlehandedly reinvented wizarding fashion. whose cheeky and tender comics are like a soothing balm to the utter depravity of this carnal world. harry and draco being domestic, draco’s xmas spirit brand being “traditional unhinged”!! extremely my shit. we’ll absolutely be reading this all december.

Little Spaces by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd​ - WIP - E Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry. This is a roleplay, which means Harry is written by one author (lazywonderland) and Draco by another (dracoladon).

the switch in distinct character voices works so well for this fic!! tonally i feel like i'm watching an episode of the office. i personally love harry and draco being Pissed Off at how much they want to bone each other. the battle of the tapenade was the most riveting dinner scene i've read in a minute. clever, hilarious, emotionally tense. can’t wait until that inevitable moment post hate-sex when they’re gonna be like “oh noooo it’s a Heart Boner as well!! >:((” hell ya we’re subscribing for chapter updates.

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise by @teacup-tai​ - WIP - E In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

non-magical bookshop AU. remus and sirius’ relationship is a marvel. the ease of their affection with harry makes me so emo. draco’s friends being insistently present even as he tries to isolate himself. this is a story about acceptance, found families, and falling in love at a distance. the intimacy, the longing, the tenderness. what a fic!! i keep coming back to this part:...he looks at ease, inside his body, a body he needed to fight for. He’d made peace with his struggles and his scars. And Draco realises he wants that. He wants to be at ease inside his body, the body that now carries a virus. He wants to be at peace with his own existence. you hurt for draco so deeply but you get moments like these where he affords himself a kindness that feels foreign and it’s just!! the boys navigating grief and learning to be vulnerable. so good.

[mouseratz]

Gotham season 4x7-14

4x7

- "I ain't dead yet." "Just measuring for when you are."

- Bruce is just sad and irritable. It's Gotham though so obviously he's being haunted by ra's or something

- headhunter.

- "allegedly". really...babygirl....

- headhunter is the funniest bitch here

- the freaking hair gets higher every scene

- "they're incompetent and unreliable" accurate

- only in Gotham......

- Jim so boring as usual

- oh my god the rich kids.

- Bruce has the just standing there pose

- "then sucks for you."

- NOT HIM! LOVE BRUCE....

- "good, cuz I don't have any."

- girlboss crew

- "now that's just mean."

- LMAO. why'd he kill him? Just annoyed, I guess.

4x8

- fellas is it gay to dress up and pretend to be your ex best friend and rival as a costume

- kind of fucked up also. like in multiple ways

- THE SPARKLY SUIT................!

- STRAIGHT FROM THE SLAUGHTER SWAMP

- Im obsessed with his glittery suit. Obsessed .!

- "he's a disgrace." "What does that make you?"

- "and you don't know him, so you don't get to laugh."

- "trust me, it's a great idea, but far too messy to be practical."

- "do you know what this means?" "Yeah, you owe me an apology for electrocuting me."

- "your enemies will know it was you."

- "oh, crud."

- Sofia is kinda awesome not gonna lie. The more we see her the more I like her.

- I LOOOOVE Oswald and his little orphan friend.

- "that might be a little overly ambitious."

- "we're more than friends. We're conspirators."

- eds little dramatic ass

- "winner takes....me! eheheheh."

- tabby the tigress

- the tabby/butch drama is actually pretty fun

- Bridgit is also fun

- Bullock has just not been happy for a long time, so I guess it's the natural consequence of things.

- OS TEACHING THIS KID TO STAB PEOPLE....

- he's holding back because he didn't want the kid to see it. actual character development?

- "I get melodramatic under pressure."

- this is awesome lee character arc.

- "a mercy killing, if you ask me." God, I love her.

4x9

- what is HE up to?

- "the issue is the person who ordered his appointment."

- ooooh. "you do realize she is LITERALLY my only friend."

- well, Oswald always found snitching a very useful skill for himself.

- Alfred said me and my emo son are going camping

- he's been cooking them...."a taste".....

- I do love a modest proposal.

- ARE THEY IN MATCHING OUTFITS?

- Oswald is purely gay but I am not I am looking at Sofia's dress I'm sorry women.....I Am Looking

- THE MATCHING HAIR. HEEHEE

- MARTIN! LEAVE HIM ALONE

- pyg is fucking camp this is so fun

- this is kinda funny given that penguin has technically cooked people before

- YES PENGUIN kill his ass

- also he has purple streaks in his hair.

- os is like I've had Martin for only a week but if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself

- "but what you were going to do for Martin....that was real."

- "I avenged my parents death. Nothing changed. It made no difference. What did I do it for?"

- OOOH BRUCE THAT IS MEAN AS FUCK.....

- now, see, that is a betrayal, if you were there.

4x10

- ave Maria again

- so I guess that's just how it is for this dude

- she's playing both sides, but to what end?

- so does Ed just wear his hair like that now.

- "look at him. it's what he lives for."

- HI VICTOR!

- I feel actually....really bad for him.

- "hog wild for the pyg...." LMAO

- "you're a has been." "EXCUSE ME?"

- hm. she's smart.

- "I see you crawled out from whatever rock you were under."

- who did that to the clinic?

- LOVE how she's manipulating Jim, too, but he's less emotional.

- "I think we've both put up with Sofia for long enough."

- MARTIN!

- I myself, can't relate, as my parents loved me without condition

- MARTIIIN.....

- I'm so sad .I'm so sad

- but, kind of makes sense. everyone he's ever loved has been killed by their association with him....so the only answer seemed to be, to bite the bullet and do it himself. Get it over with. Choose the strategic move, since choosing that heart has only ever led him to further ruin, losing everyone AND everything regardless.

- interesting plotline with Ed and Lee.

- YES! YES. GOD. "YOU DID A SPLENDID JOB OF DYING."

- IM GONNA FUCKING CRY aaaaaaaaaauuuugghhhhh

- the fuck is laszlo?

4x11

- Sofia's in trouble.

- barb: I'm sorry, what?

- you know why I came when penguin called?

- I'm glad I never killed you....

- WHO did that?

- penguin feels like it's his fault.

- the hair swoop.....

- victor loved falcone.

- Sofia planned it to frame Oswald. No one trusts him anymore, regardless of whether he did it.

- this is exactly what she wanted.

- god, I love the sirens.

- "I am guessing he has great leadership skills."

- victor turned because he believes that Oswald killed falcone......and that's who he will always be loyal to.

- Bruce is just having a bad time. "I'm not who you thought I was, I'm not who my parents wanted me to be."

- this is.....a way to handle things.

- SHE set him up too?

- Sorry whenever they fire Alfred all I can think about is holy B@man musical

- penguin and.........JEROME?

4x12

- ivy? is ivy back?

- is she in....a chrysalis?

- she looks....different.

- "well, that's a hell of a thing."

- that's a morale breaker.

- butch :)

- I love 'creepy' toys. so nice I would love to hang out there

- why do they have guns.

- I think the son did it actually.

- the sirens club ad.....

- (flatly) "you'll like it. It's nice."

- idk man we already did this shit with Kringle why do we need another random lady with an abusive partner. I'm not saying it's an awful plot but we literally had one just like it. I guess it's unlikely to end with Alfred's incelification, buuut. It's not very interesting is it.

- the poison ivy of poison ivy is preddy cool.

- 'i seem to maintain a very good relationship with all my exes."

- nevermind. He got framed.

- well he's back into the rhymes huh?

- "that is SO Gotham."

- "so you're partners with Ed? Why?" "I'm right here."

- "oh, boy."

- Bullock?

- why would ivy attack Selina?

- to demonstrate it, I guess.

- he doesn't remember. huh. back on this plot again, I guess.

- bitches be like I'm fighting my demons and the demons are bisexuality

- "well, I haven't missed you." gasp.....

4x13

- so this is ivy ivy. is it kind of sad I liked childish ivy better.

- the body horror of her powers are fun.

- os is back here all over again.

- goose the juice....

- how did they make ivy so boring.

- hiii Alexander Siddig

- Oswald is not having fun.

- I hate this ivy.

- HES GOT THE MUSTACHE...

- and os in a top hat.

- he's the saddest wet cat in the entire world.

- can't you guys flirt like normally

- oopsie.

- "okay, that was clever-ish."

- "yeah that's a spoon." "It is ALSO a fork"

- Jerome genuinely likes games, I guess.

- sorry I hate you ivy. this plot sucks big balls

- are you guys gonna tell me that the iconic bat cave scene doesn't even happen in real life.

- this is stupid. Jim Gordon shut up challenge.

- "I saw you. You had a mustache" awesome line.

- he's sending a letter to dear Eddie. but I bet he doesn't even remember visiting.

4x14

-booo ivy we hate your pussy

-girlbossing? No, they're girl plotting.

-"we all have to make sacrifices" we hate your pussy too

-to be fair. Bruce was a dick. But also he's like seventeen. So I'm pretty confident he will come around.

-"can we be friends again?"

-OH YEAH. I FUCKING FORGOT THEY DID THAT WITH PEPPER

-"we're too late." "No, we aren't." He just sleeps like that. Lmfao

-bullock and Gordon divorce arc

-once I find my pants.

-a complete set of encyclopedias minus the t. plus twenty bucks.

-awesome (lying) Edward is suicidal. this DEFINITELY won't affect me

-jims like I know one thing about harvey- he's stupid

- Ed.......

- well, I guess Bruce is trying to be better again.

- or....not? He got embarrassed and left.

- okay or now we gotta do the hero stuff. Whatever.

- ivy versus cat.....

- goddamn Sofia. eds gonna kill her ass.

- half of Mississippi. who cares

- I knew youd come....

- one whose name I wouldn't speak.

- but because he's earned it.....

- kinda gay bro. kinda gay

- "reunion" My ass. so are they like, cool, about the whole murdering his girlfriend and freezing him in ice thing?

- "I'm gonna need your help to make it right" Why are you gay.

[nico-idc]

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that.  Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently. 

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why. 

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now. 

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression. 

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory. 

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions. 

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”. 

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on  whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt. 

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first. 

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 4)

(chapter 4)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairing: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: mentions of prostitution, language, violent deaths, fighting, angst, fluff, + possible nsfw.

previous | next

"So, each of the districts get their own floors. Since you're from two, you get the second floor." Doyoung explains as we step out of the elevator.

As we walk into the apartment, I stare in awe at the glamorous quarters.  There are many giant glass columns and a random display of silver trees and rocks.

"Here is the living room and your rooms are over here. How about you freshen up for dinner?" suggests Doyoung. 

In my room, I am met by a bed with a silky, soft comforter. I make my way into the spacious bathroom and hop into the shower. Inside, there was a panel with hundreds of buttons that regulated water temperature, pressure, and even provided massaging sponges.

After finishing, a heater dried my hair and body completely. I pressed another button and a box began sending electrical currents through my scalp, instantly untangling my hair.

Returning the bedroom in comfortable clothes, I see a strange-looking remote on the bed-side table. Intrigued, I begin pressing random buttons. As a result, the window showcasing the lights and building of the Capitol changes into different sceneries.

First, there was a city street filled with cheerful families walking together. After pressing a different button, a dry and deserted desert appeared on the screen.

Switching it once again, a scene showing several mountains peaking through behind a forest of trees. I felt a pulling-feeling in my chest. My throat also feeling slightly choked-up.

During the holidays, every year Taeyong would take me into the mountains of our district. He would pretend to be my knight in shining armor, while I was the princess in distress.  He'd never tell anyone, but sometimes it was even the other way around.

It's also where he taught me how to hunt and find my own food. How to determine between what is the good food and what is the not so very good food.

It was the only time I remember us ever truly being kids. Not soldiers, just a thirteen and seven year old exploring the big, exciting world together.

Then everything went to shit after Taeyong went to the games.  That year, the Gamemakers had chosen a forest for the terrain. However, it was filled with dangerous wild dogs, wolves, and spiders. The spiders had enhanced speed and were extremely venomous. However, the wild dogs were capable of changing their form and copying the voices of the tributes.

Because of this, the entire Career pack was slaughtered alive. Taeyong was the only one who managed to escape. Wounded and without supplies, a twelve year old boy from District 11 named Dong Sicheng had found and formed a alliance with him. Sicheng had shared all of his supplies and even nursed him back to health.

On the last day, they were approached by the last remaining tribute. Taeyong, spotted him and fired an arrow straight into his heart. As he turned around to check on Sicheng, he was met with the boy clutching a harpoon, longed deep in his chest.

Dong Sicheng slowly died in Taeyong's arms.

After the cannon went off, the Captitol announced over the speakers that Lee Taeyong of District 2 was the winner of the 64th Hunger Games.

No longer did he take me to the mountains. Honestly, we never did anything together. Since then, the closest I ever got to be to him was the one time when the rest of my family stood by him during his stop in District 2 during his press tour.

I've always wondered how he felt. Wondered if  he blames himself for what happened. However, I never wanted to intrude. It's not like I ever got the opportunity to ask him, anyways.

However, since I'm going in the games soon. I hope to eventually work up the courage to sit down and have a real talk with him. The real Taeyong, not the victor or mentor he acts like in front of everyone else.

I opened the door to see Doyoung, Renjun, and Taeyong sitting at the dining room table.

Once I sat down in the acid-green chair, Taeyong began talking, "The plan for tomorrow is the same for the both of you. You go to group training. Spend time practicing something your weakest at. Swing a mace. Throw a spear. Tie a decent knot. It doesn't really matter, just save showing off for the private session with the Gamemakers. Are we clear?"

Renjun and I both nod our heads at him.

"Well, have the two of you gotten to know any of the other tributes yet?" pries an interested Doyoung.

"I haven't. Although, Athena seems to be checking out the competition, already."  Renjun answers, nonchalantly.

"Wonderful!" Doyoung innocently chimed, "It's never too early to start considering possible alliances. Are you going to ask anyone to join the two of you?"

"Oh, we're not-" Renjun and I said at the same time. We're laughing as if he's said the funniest joke in the world.

"We've always maintained our own completely different strategies. Renjun prefers to be the predator. There's no doubt in my mind that if he does want to work with others, it'll end up being an alliance with the other Careers. " Renjun just silently nods in agreement.

"And what about you?" asked Doyoung.

"Let's just say I prefer not to walk around with a huge target on my head. I want to team up with someone well-liked, so we can get resources through sponsors." I explained.

"Like Na Jaemin?" sneers Renjun.

"You know people have been calling him the Prince of Panem. He's made quite the impression, already." Doyoung chimes, "And he's not the only one. People have been raving about you, Athena. They've even started calling you, the Golden Girl."

"That's good." Taeyong quietly adds to the conversion, "If you keep this up you'll get lots of sponsors."

Doyoung suddenly blurts, "In fact, most people think Jaemin and you would make a good couple."

At this remark, Taeyong drops his knife loudly on the table, while Renjun chokes on his drink. My mouth begins opening and closing like a fish, struggling to come up with a reply.

"We're done for tonight. You two should go to bed now." Taeyong orders, not hiding his agitation.

Quickly, we all return to our rooms. I crash on my bed and stare up at ceiling.

Jaemin and I as a couple?

Where did they even dream up that possibility from? I mean, we only had one barely two-minute conversation. People really do amaze me sometimes.

My thoughts are broken by a barely-there knock at my door. I groan and force myself off the bed.

I roll my eyes, before opening the door and saying, "Renjun, would you kindly please fuck off?"

However, the person standing there was definitely not Renjun. I tilt my chin up to see no other than Lee Taeyong, towering over me.

"Oh, sorry." I frown, embarrassed.

"Can I come in?" He politely asks me.

I step to the side and allow him inside. Once he's fully in, I closed the door behind him.

"Finally decided to talk to me, huh?"

He just stays silent, just letting me say whatever I please.

"You know, I thought you'd at least be happy for me. I mean, you of all people should know that this is the best thing that could ever happen to me." The emotions I've been holding in for the past 10 years are finally coming to the surface.

Taeyong looks at me with pity, "Athena, there are some things you don't know. Things that the school or our parents never taught us."

"What are you even talking about?" I pressure.

"After the games, you couldn't see me for a reason." He took a heavy breath, "Sometimes, if a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for money. It’s not just me either, the same thing happened to Finnick Odair a year later."

"What do you mean, 'buy'?" I swallow.

"For sex."

It’s quiet.

"I was given no choice. He said that he would kill both of our parents and even you if I didn't obey." His eyes begin tearing up, "Athena, you don't know how much I wanted to come see you and teach you things."

"Taeyong." I whimper.

I felt sick to my stomach. How could they do that to him? He was just a thirteen year old kid. Even worse, how could I let myself hate and be jealous of him, when all along he was the reason I was still even living?

"I know I'm a horrible brother, but please listen to me when I say the Capitol uses everyone, including you. You have been taught that this, the games, are normal and something to be proud of. You haven't even seen how horrible it is for the lower districts. They can barely make it through one day without starving. They have basically nothing, while the Capitol is feeding off them."

Anger rises up in me. I look around at all the expensive things in the room. Think about the large amount of fancy food I've consumed while in the Capitol. I'm furious, because I've been lied to and tricked. Furious for Taeyong and all the others the Capitol has taken advantage of.

I jump into my brothers arms and completely break down. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said Taeyong. It was stupid. I'm stupid."

"It's okay. You didn’t know." He shushes, while holding me.

“Listen to me. If you-“ he corrects himself, “When you win this thing, I’m not going to let him do anything to you, okay?”

“Taeyong, can I tell you something? I’ve just never got the chance to.” I ask.

He nods.

“What happened to Sicheng wasn’t your fault. You understand that, right?”

He painfully looks down at the floor, before slowly nodding.

“I’m serious, Taeyong. It’s not your fault.”

By the time he looks up, I am able to clearly see him. Underneath the years of pain, hidden away was a vulnerable boy. The tears come falling down his cheeks.

We spend the rest of the night talking about our past, telling stories. Both laughing and crying together.

My brother and I.

[basement-critics]

I watched "I Have A Complaint" so you don't have to...

Okay so I know @carmensandiego-againstonision already did one for this video, and if I knew how to link the post I would, if you haven't seen her's please do, but I have some things I want to add to the video as well.

• Starts off saying they have a bone to pick with the planets and life. And that this video is a vent video so they can "vent their sorrow and pain"

• Says that they didn't mean to look like Archie from Riverdale, but you can pretend they are Archie complains at you

(Okay I don't even like Riverdale, but you look nothing like Archie, like at all)

• Claims Mercury Retrograde is fucking up their life, also states they are a skeptic in all the astrological stuff. But are starting to believe in Mercury Retrograde because "everytime Mercury is in Retrograde shit starts to go down hill for me"

(Or could it be that it's just a bad day/week and you are looking for something outside of yourself to blame it on?)

• "Every small little inconvenience that could happen to me is happening to me"

(Oh snap, it's almost like you are an adult)

• Says they are losing their shit over this

• For the first time I've ever heard, they call themselves Kai

(Looks like Greg finally wore you down huh)

• It all started a week ago, when their car didn't work right. Their power steering shut off, but they made it home safely, where they told Greg and he went to look at the car. And it worked fine for him

• Says stuff like that happens often, they will be trying to get something to work but it won't, and then Greg will use it and it works fine

(Same fam, it's just a thing that happens to everyone)

• That was the first sign, and the first inconvenience

• Says they were feeling weird for a while

• They had trouble talking to people, and they had to go into a meeting where they had a hard time getting their point out, and they felt dumb because of it

(Again same, I did this today in English 1. It happens to everyone)

• More little things like that started happening but they don't go into detail

• Then they started to feel bad and sick, so they scheduled and appointment with the Doctor. Then they make a point to say how they never go to the Doctor even when they are really sick

(Yo that is so not healthy)

• So they go to the Doctor, but they only have an 8 am appointment

(Oh no, an early appointment that means you can get done earlier and get more stuff done later in the day)

• Greg had to drop them off

• And then they had a bunch of extra time after their appointment "which was awful by the way"

(Oh no, some time to yourself)

• They are salty about having to go to "a women's health clinic" and said it wasn't the funniest thing and they almost cried the entire time they were there

(Okay I get that this could cause dysphoria I do, but Lainey you have to realize you have the body of a women. If you need to go see a Doctor they are going to put you down as a woman regardless of where you go because you are biologically a woman and that affects your care and your medication you can be put on a lot. Also if you knew this was going to bother you, why not try going to other health clinics. There are general health clinics that aren't gender specific)

• They finished their appointment early and decided to walk to Starbucks that was a mile away

• But oh no, it was up a hill and it was cold out

• They got their Starbuck "so all in all, not that bad"

• The clinic called them and told them they had an infection and need to be on antibiotics

• The antibiotics are making them sick

(Like they do with everyone)

• They say it's not fair to be on a medicine that makes you sicker than the illness it's treating and they are depressed about it

(Which I can agree with, but that what antibiotics do. They make you sick, that's a well known thing)

• The first and foremost indicator of the Retrograde is that, they and to run errands, and it was hard and they had to do it themself

(I've been running errands by myself since I was like 14, it's not hard)

• They decided to treat themself with a Green Tea Frappuccino from Starbuck, because they don't get Starbucks often

(Sure you don't Lainey, sure. *looks at all the videos where they have a new Starbucks cup*)

• Then they dropped their Green Tea Frappuccino

• Lainey almost had a break down in the Target parking lot over a spilt drink

(It's a drink, from a place that burns their tea and coffee so you can't taste how low quality it is)

• Their alarm hasn't been going off all week so they had to rush out the door and didn't get to eat breakfast

• Lainey stops at McDonald's and orders food and a coffee

• So they order, and pull up to the window. The woman handed them the bag, Lainey says they do not remember, to this day, taking the bag from woman, like it's a complete black spot in their memory

(LAINEY GO TO THE DOCTOR, THAT IS NOT NORMAL)

• They get their coffee, and sit there waiting. The woman comes back and asks Lainey if they need anything else.

• Lainey tells the woman they haven't gotten their food yet, so the woman goes and gets Lainey another order

• They go park so they can get their maps up and their food ready so they can drive

• And they see they have two bags off food in the seat

• They say they feel like an asshole and that they can't take it back, and how they never want to go back to that McDonald's again

(Like I get the feeling like a jerk part, but hey, free food)

• They almost broke their ankle by tripping over the stuff all over their dirty house

• They laid on the floor for 30 minutes afterwards

(1, clean your house. 2, you are a mother, if you fell and hurt yourself then so will your children. 3, you are a mother of 2 children, you shouldn't be laying on the floor for 30 minutes while your kids were doing God knows what)

• "It still hurts, to this day"

(Because it happened that week Lainey)

• They then show us their gross feet

(I don't know if their feet are gross by normal people standards, but I really hate feet so all feet are gross)

• They say their emotions are going haywire and they are sad about everything

• If someone looks at them the wrong way they feel like they cry

• They feel betrayed all the time as well

• They also say they are lonely, and that Greg is working all the time

• So they lay in bed and cry

(Again, mother of 2 small children)

• They cry themselves to sleep almost every night

• They feel like everyone is ignoring them

• They get upset when people leave them on read, even though they do that to everyone

(Okay Lainey, this is coming from a genuine place. Please, please go get help. Being sad all this time, crying all the time, being on the verge of a break down all the time, is not normal nor is it healthy. You may have a hormone imbalance, or you may have an undiagnosed mental illness that you really need help for.)

• Says that in 6 days they won't feel like this anymore because Mercury will be out of Retrograde and they will "be the happiest bean to ever bean"

(They keep usuing really cringing language like this, it's like a middle age mom trying to fit in with her kids and their friends)

• They are doing a binder video soon where they compare an expensive binder to a cheap one

• And even though they already have an expensive binder, they ordered another one to use and ordered a cheap one

• The cheap one is dangerous because they feel like it is going to crush their lungs even though they put in their measurements

• Their expensive one was supposed to ship in 1-6 days, but it got delayed. When they emailed the company they got a code for free shipping in their next order

• Claims that they need it soon because it's urgent

(1, free shipping in your next order? Hell yes. 2, you are a YouTuber who makes your own schedule and doesn't upload daily, it's not that urgent)

• They can't talk about the last thing, even though it was supposed to be the craziest thing that they have ever found out in their life and really proved the Mercury Retrograde stuff

• They say it's not normal for things to be like this, so unless they "pissed off the magical sky spirit" they don't know what's going on, but they want it to stop

• There have been other minor annoying inconveniences that have happened, but nothing so important to remember

• Lainey says that once Mercury goes out of Retrograde it will all stop and life with go back to normal

• They like to complain

Conclusion

Lainey, I really think you need some help. You are overly emotional all the time from the sounds of it, and that's not healthy for you. Also, this is stuff that happens to everyone, this kind of stuff is normal. We all have bad days or weeks, that's just how life works. Don't look to blame something outside of yourself, when it's just life, these problems happen to almost everyone, sure it's annoying, but it has nothing to do with Mercury Retrograde.