#this is the first time i have ever written from sam's POV

[kaleldobrev]

Prologue — The 15 Year Problem Series

Pairing: MOC!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester & Unnamed Hunter Boyfriend (OC)

Series Summary: Needing help on a poltergeist case, you ask fellow hunter Sam Winchester for help. Despite having a broken arm, Sam agrees to help you. But, just as he’s about to head out and meet you, Dean tells him that he’ll take his place and help instead.

Chapter Word Count: 1.5k

Chapter Warnings: Age Gap (15 years) & Self-Loathing Dean

Authors Note: A prequel series to the Old Man Universe (OMU) on how Dean and reader met | Takes place a few days after Dean is cured from being a demon in 2016 (please read this post for reasonings why it’s 2016, not 2014) | Thoughts are in italics | Switches between reader & Dean's POV but it's still written in the second person | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

⋆ The 15 Year Problem Masterlist ⋆

Dean sat on the edge of his bed looking at his surroundings that he hadn’t seen in so long. Although it’s only been a few months, it felt like an eternity to him. Everything was still in the exact same place he had left it; and he wasn’t sure if he should be relieved about that or not.

Being in his bedroom back in the Bunker came with a wide variety of emotions. He was happy to be back in a place that he had called home for the past several years, a place where he was finally able to have his own room again since he was four years old. But yet, there was another part of him that wanted to take his keys and drive off somewhere. He loved Sam, he loved Cas but, it was hard to face them again after everything he had done, and after everything he had put them through. Not only during the months he was gone, but during the short amount of time they were trying to cure him of a disease he strangely enjoyed.

“You weren’t you,” Sam had told him repeatedly as if he was a broken record. But Dean didn’t believe his words for a second. He enjoyed being a demon more than he liked to admit. Being able to kill whoever he wanted whenever he wanted without consequence fueled him. Being able to fuel the Mark was easy, being a demon was easy. Being a demon weirdly came natural to him.

Sitting at your desk, you endlessly scrolled through news story after news story, trying to find any excuse to leave your apartment, as it was a place that was currently not giving you the usual sense of peace it tended to provide you. Your apartment was usually your safe space, a place that you could relax and unwind in after a tough hunt. But ever since your boyfriend moved in, it had become a place that you no longer felt safe and calm in.

You and your boyfriend hadn't been together for that long — roughly a year — but during a majority of your relationship, it has been argument after argument, and the arguments were always about the same couple of things. He was either disrespecting you or upset that you didn't bring him along on one of your hunting trips.

He hadn't been a hunter for long — barely two years — and you met him within his first year. You had met him while on a werewolf case, as the two of you found the same lead and decided to work together since he really had no experience with werewolves. For some reason, the two of you clicked, and had been together ever since.

Whenever you and him tended to get into an argument, you wondered why you were still with him, knowing that you could do better. He didn't treat you right, and often undermined you in front of other hunters, sometimes taking credit for your own hunts. You tried to rationalize it, often saying that he was the best you were ever going to do because there was no way you could be with someone that wasn't a hunter, as you felt being with someone that wasn't one would put them in more harm, and you couldn't risk it. But the words of your mother started echoing in your head now, "It's better to be alone than to be with someone who disrespects you." You knew she was right; she was always right.

As you were about to give up, a news story finally jumped out at you, and it screamed poltergeist — your specialty.

Dean stared up at the ceiling, wanting more than anything to fall asleep; but the events of the last few months kept replaying in his head. "You weren't you," Sam's words repeated again and again.

No matter how many times Sam's words repeated, Dean still refused to believe it, as when he was a demon, he felt more like himself than he had been in such a long time; and that scared him.

The things that he did as a demon he would have done regardless; but the only reason he did the things that he did was because he knew there were no consequences, his conscience wasn't trying to stop him. Sam or Cas weren't there to stop him especially.

The Mark started itching again, getting hot with need. I need to kill something, he thought.

Getting off the phone with you, Sam sighed, looking at his slinged arm. There was no way he was going to be able to help you with this case, but it was far too late to call you back now; not after he already agreed to help you. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint you, as you were a big help to him while Dean was gone.

Sam was impressed by you to say the least, as despite your age, you were a damn good hunter with a decent amount of experience under your belt. He hadn't known you for very long — meeting you within the last couple of months — but you had quickly become someone he had grown to deeply trust; and he was incredibly thankful for that, and thankful for you.

Placing his phone back into his pocket, he grabbed his duffel bag and started packing some of the essentials. The case you asked him to join you on was one that was pretty straightforward, so he assumed it wouldn't take more than a couple of days. That's when his mind started to wander, wondering why you had asked for his help in the first place, as poltergeists were one of your specialties and it was the type of case that you could do in your sleep, but yet, you asked him for help.

Closing up your laptop, you grabbed it bringing it over to your bed, before going underneath it and grabbing your duffel. You started packing all of the essentials for a case that would only take you a couple of days. The case was an easy one, one that you could easily do in your sleep, but yet, you called Sam Winchester to help you. There was a small twinge of regret after you got off the phone with him, and you debated back and forth as you packed to call him back up again and tell him, 'Never mind, I got this Sammy.' But deep down, you wanted the company; you wanted to be with someone that treated you like an equal unlike your boyfriend.

"Going on a case?" Your boyfriend asked from behind you.

You turned to look at him for a moment, and he was leaning against the doorway, staring at you as you packed. "Yes," you said, plainly. Even if you weren't going on a case, you felt like you didn't need to explain anything to him.

"Where's the case? I can join you," he offered. But his offer wasn't a genuine one, as the only reason he offered to go with you was to try and make up the argument to you in some way. But you weren't in the mood for any of his gestures.

"Tulsa," you said. "I already called another hunter to help me."

"What hunter?" He asked, making his way to the bed so he could sit down on the edge like he usually did whenever you were attempting to pack for a case.

You looked at him again, annoyed that he kept interrupting your packing. He didn't need to know what hunter was going with you, and he didn't know where the case was going to be. But yet, you felt like you needed to tell him in order to get him off your back. "Sam Winchester," you said simply, and you saw his eyes grow wide.

"Sam Winchester?" He questioned. "Really?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with Sam Winchester?" You asked, curious as to what he had to say about him, as you knew he had never met him. But there were times when you and him would be spending time with fellow hunters, and he would claim that he knew Sam; a bold statement that, whenever said, you tried to hold back a laugh.

“Nothing it’s just…the Winchester’s tend to get a lot of their partners killed,” he said. Your brows furrowed, not only because you were confused on where he heard that, but you’ve hunted with Sam a few times already, and your boyfriend never brought that up to you before.

“I’ve hunted with Sam a few times now, and I’m still alive,” you said, zippering up your duffel. “He’s a great hunting partner, very careful.”

“For now, you’re alive and for now he’s being careful. What happens when he bails on you to save himself?” Your boyfriend asked, his tone excitable now.

“I don’t know because I know for a fact that won’t happen,” your tone was serious and stern, defensive. Despite not knowing Sam for a long time, you trusted him more on hunts than your own boyfriend. “I trust Sam.”

⤑ Move Forward & Read Chapter 1

Tag List: | @roseblue373 | @snakebxtez | @deanwanddamons | @missy420-0 | @hannahisthebanana | @madzzz0797 | @livingordeadwhoknows | @grx-deanslovr | @nancymcl | @jacklesbrainworms | @savagemickey03 | @deanbrainrotwritings | @rachiem4-blog | @syrma-sensei | @justletmereadfanfic | @deans-daydream | @midorimachisenpaii | @anamiad00msday | @beansproutmafia | @queenie32 | @deansbbyx | @deans-spinster-witch | @ficmesideways | @frozenhuntress67 | @coldspoons | @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden | @androah | @zulema222 | @k-l-a-w-s | @the-achievementhunter | @k-slla | @mrlonelycat | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @ladysparkles78 | @jackles010378 | @zepskies | @mrsjenniferwinchester | @globetrotter28 | @missscarlettangel | @foxyjwls007

[seasonofthenerd]

Pov: You are the oldest Winchester kid

Aka Dean and Sam's Older Sister

PRE SEASON 1!!

Being dean and sam's older sister, John and Mary had you in 1976, 3 years before Dean was born, and 7 years before Sam was born

‌being 7 years old when Mary is killed by Azazel

‌Parentified soon after that as John became cynical with his revenge

‌Not being able to go to college due to obvious reasons

Going to Dean and Sam's ptms because John was absent father ™, and going to yours alone

‌Dropping Sam and Dean to school after passing out

‌Learning to drive and fix the impala at 15 from John because that'll help when you two are on hunts

‌Teaching Dean to drive when he is 16

‌Your relationships never work out

‌ Becoming a mom figure for Sam, and being Dean's support system

‌Being an expert at hunting and research

‌John taking you with him on hunting trips while Dean stayed back to take care of Sam

‌Having a lot of fights with John because of his behavior towards the boys

‌daddy issues™®©

‌Having many opportunities to run away and leave everything and everyone behind but not doing it for the sake of your brothers' future

‌Living in separate places than John after sam leaves for Stanford, providing dean with a safe place when he needs it, but still hunting with him.

I don't know if it's good it's just something I came up with randomly, if anyone reads please lmk if you are interested in more parts, thank you for reading!!

Also this is the first time I've ever written something and posted it on here (cries in panic and anxiety)

[whateverloomis]

"I dare you to kiss my Tatum" (Stu x Tatum x Reader) 18+ content

Warnings: 3 some (FFM,) reader is afab (she/her,) making out, blow job, eating out, smoking (weed,) first person pov, pørn link at the bottom, unedited

Word count: 1k (It's a shorty but a saucy one 😭)

Note: Based on poll results.

-

"You can stay over with us! Stu's parents will be gone the whole week so he has the house to himself." Tatum said and I smiled at her, nodding and accepting her offer.

"Thanks Tate, I don't wanna be a bother but I just can't be home alone tonight." -- "You're always welcome here! I love having company!" Stu said from behind us, startling with his sudden appearance.

With the ghost face killings it wasn't easy to be alone at my house, and tonight after movie night with our friend group, I told Tate everything about how scared I'd been feeling, so I quickly accepted her offer to join her and Stu's "slumber party."

•

A few hours went by and we ended up in Stu's room, smoking weed and gossiping with Tatum. Apparently Stu loved to know about all the tea going on at campus so he was surprisingly attentive.

"And I heard she made out with a girl in the locker room!" -- "That's hot- Ow!" Tatum immediately smacked Stu's arm. "Don't be an asshole!"

I laughed at their interaction. "I mean, I don't blame the girl, Sam is pretty cute so." I replied and Tatum gave me an amused look. "You've kissed a girl before too?" she asked, amusement written all over her face. "Yeah, a few times. I'm bisexual so it's bound to happen." I said and laughed at my own words. The weed was starting to make me act goofy.

"Would you kiss a girl?" I asked Tatum, bold as ever. I've been attracted to both her and Stu for a while so I didn't really care at that point, given the substance I was under.

"That would be hot as fuck." Stu replied to my question.

"Oh yeah, I bet you'd love to see that. Anyways, I think I would, just to try it out." Tatum replied, rolling her eyes at Stu first then smiling at me before responding.

"How about you, Stu? Would you kiss a boy? Hm?" I asked him next, teasing him and expecting a rejecting response. "Honesty? I'd be down to kiss Billy. Y'know, since we trust each other."

Me and Tatum gasped at his admission." Oh my God! You're insane for admitting that!" -- "It's the weed, I can't lie okay!?" The boy said and we all laughed hysterically.

"I'd kiss Billy too" I admitted and Stu faked being shocked. He knew I had a thing for Billy so he wasn't surprised at what I said.

"Would you kiss my Tatum over here?" Stu asked while pulling his girlfriend to sit on his lap. The girl looked at me, curiosity written all over her face.

I smirked at both of them before biting my bottom lip. "I would." I admitted, and the vibes got tense quickly. I saw Stu's pupils dilating and Tatum shifting in his lap.

"I dare you to do it." Stu said from behind his girlfriend, smirking at me.

I looked at Tatum, searching for any signs of discomfort but she was smirking at me too. She crawled towards me slowly, giving her boyfriend a perfect view of her ass before kneeling in front of me on the floor. I did the same and we slowly leaned in until our lips met.

The kiss was soft at first but it got heated quickly. Our high pitched moans and audible kissing noises were driving Stu crazy. I started to play with Tatum's tits, squeezing and pinching her nipples. She held my waist and pulled me towards her, our tits squishing against each other. Our tongues touched and we softly moved them in unison. Stu was rock hard at the sight of his girlfriend making out with another girl in front of him, so he started to rub himself over his jeans and groan every time one of us whimpered in need.

•

I don't know how we ended up in this position so quickly. Stu was at the edge of his bed, his pants half down while me and Tatum made out with his dick in-between our lips. I sucked on the head of his member occasionally then continued kissing Tatum. She'd do the same a while after me.

"Fuck... You guys look so fucking good." Stu moaned and we giggled against his cock. The vibration coursing through his body sent him closer to the edge, and the sight of us kissing his dick sloppily was about to do it for him.

"Mm, yes, keep going... Fuck" Stu moaned while grabbing a fist full of our hair in each hand. He thrust his hips up involuntarily until his moans got louder and he blew his load on our faces. Me and Tatum licked and kissed his cum clean off each other.

"Get on the bed, both of you." Stu commanded and we did so. We positioned ourselves one on top of the other, facing up. Our pussies on display for Stu to devour at the same time.

He licked up my slit and swirled his tongue on my clit softly while he rubbed Tatum, giving her some much needed attention between her legs. Then, he'd change his movements and rub my clit instead while eating Tatum out.

The two kinds of stimulation changing constantly was the perfect combination to get me and Tatum close, nearly at the same time. Stu was skilled, knew exactly how to use his tongue and his fingers. Fuck.

I moaned louder by the second, signaling that I was getting close. Tatum did the same moments later, and when I came against Stu's tongue his girlfriend came just by the stimulation of his fingers against her clit.

Once we all caught our breaths, we looked at each other silently. Amusement and shock combined.

"You guys wanna shower?" Stu asked. Me and Tatum looked at each other seeking approval, which we did by smirking at the same time.

"Sure, babe."

-

Here's a little video of the position Tatum and the reader were in (💖)

Warning: PØRN. 18+

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Shaken Not Stirred

Summary: Reader attends an investigation with her boyfriend Sam and best friend Colby. Unfortuantely for her, it doesn't quite go as smoothly as she'd hoped it would.

TW/CW: Reader gets scratched by a ghost and scared a few times. Sam Golbach x Reader

Requested?: No

A/N: Writing a spoopy imagine while watching spoopy Sam & Colby videos all with the lights off aside from red lights to up the spoopiness is fantastic. Surprisingly, I'm less spooped than I would be just watching Sam & Colby vids with the lights on and not multitasking lmao.

Y/N's POV

As we stepped into the abandoned, slightly decrepit haunted prison. We had spoken briefly with a friend of our guide outside before starting this tour and she had warned me, “Girl you are braver than I am.” Upon tilting my head at her, she continued, “I won’t ever step foot in that place after hearing so many stories from other ladies. Stick close to your boys.” Apparently, the entities in this place enjoy messing with and scaring ladies the most.

Colby’s voice brings me out of my thoughts, “Dude, look at this place!” I scan my eyes around the immense entry hall. The cement walls impose a sense of dread. The stuffy sour smell of the place makes my stomach roil.

I instinctively inch closer to Sam who’s at my side. I can already tell the warning wasn’t falsely founded. Just being in here makes me feel extremely uneasy and very unwelcome. Dating a paranormal investigator means I’ve visited plenty of haunted locations but this one was much worse than any other.

As our guide began the tour, I practically glued myself to Sam’s side making him look down at me. “You alright?” He questions, concern written plainly across his face.

I think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah just already feeling unwelcome.”

The guide breaks in, “Ladies typically do feel set apart from the gentlemen. As this was a male only prison, they don’t typically take kindly to female visitors.”

Sam looks even more worried now, “You can always sit this one out.”

I shake my head, “I’m alright for now but I’ll let you know if I need to step out.” Sam nods as our guide takes that as his cue to continue on. The first bit of our tour goes pretty quietly. Just as I am starting to loosen up and shake the uneasiness, I hear someone or something whisper yell very closely to my ear. Having stepped away from Sam, I race back to him and nearly leap into his arms.

“What?!” He questions, voice full of worry, “What happened?”

I look up at him and then around at our group, fear etched across my face, “Did you guys not hear that?” Everyone shakes their heads spurring me to explain, “I just heard something whisper super loud in my ear. Like, I don’t know how you guys didn’t hear it.”

Sam wraps his arms tighter around me, “Do you need a minute?”

I bury my face into his chest to take a few deep breaths before shaking my head, “No, I’m alright. Let’s keep going.” Carrying on with the tour, I keep my head on a swivel and my hand tightly clasped around Sam’s.

By the time we begin our investigations, I’ve loosened up again. Sam sets out the two flashlights after explaining for the video what they do. Colby also sets out a REM pod and shows the camera what it does. As everyone steps away from the devices, the REM pod starts going nuts. “Alright, I guess that’s a good sign that we should get started,” Sam states to the camera. The boys begin bouncing around questions and receiving responses but the REM pod just keeps screaming at us.

Finally, having had enough of the high pitch shrill, I gave up my courage and speak up, “I’m sorry to interrupt boys but whoever is beside our little red light over there could you please step away? It’s starting to hurt my ears.” The device goes silent immediately upon finishing my sentence. Sam, Colby, and I look at each other in shock before they continue on with questioning the flashlights. After only a couple questions and answers, I jump close to Sam. Something had just whispered again. I bury my face in Sam’s chest once more as he rubs my back.

“I heard that one,” Sam says more to Colby than me, “There was a whisper.”

Colby shakes his head, “I didn’t hear it but she sure did,” he says motioning to me. I back away from my shelter and motion for the boys to continue.

After a while and a couple of investigations, Sam and Colby decide it’s time to bring out the Estes Method. As Colby goes under, Sam leans over to whisper to me, “Do you want to sit this one out?” I shake my head but take his hand in mine. Sam begins asking questions and immediately receives answers. As the questions get more intense, I hold Sam’s hand even tighter trying not to show how terrified I am. I know that if Sam knows how scared I am he’ll cut it and we’ll leave.

“Is there anything specific you’d like us to know before we leave?” Sam asks. We receive, “Yeah,” from Colby just as something grabs the back of my neck. I leap from my seat and scream so loud that Colby yanks the headset and blindfold off looking around slightly panicked. Sam jumps up to collect me in his arms, checking me over as I try to calm my shaking and my eyes dart around trying to pinpoint the source of my fear.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Colby asks, standing from his chair.

Sam, whose inspection has brought him around behind me, waves Colby over out of the corner of my eye. Colby steps behind me as I feel Sam lower the back of my shirt slightly and lift my ponytail. “Holy shit,” Colby mumbles as I see a flash and hear a camera shutter.

I hide my face in my hands as Sam gently spins me around to face them. He places his hands on either side of my face, “I’m here. I’ve got you. You are safe,” he pauses taking a deep breath, “Do you want to see it?”

I nod shakily, knowing he’s referring to the picture of whatever is on my back. Colby shows me the screen of Sam’s phone. There is four long scratches from my hairline to between my shoulder blades, thankfully not drawing blood. Saying nothing I simply bury my face in Sam’s chest once again and his arms immediately wrap around me. “She’s shaking,” Colby notes.

“Yeah, we need to leave,” Sam states already moving toward the exit. Colby collects the gear before quickly catching up to us. About halfway to the car, Sam stops and lifts me into his arms. Once we reach the car, Sam opens the passenger door and gently sits me down in the seat. I clutch onto his shirt, not wanting him to pull away but he takes my hands in his, kissing them before placing them in my lap and squatting down in front of me.

Sam brushes my hair away from my face and that’s when I finally notice the same fear from my face copy and pasted onto his. His hands shake slightly as he kisses my forehead. Looking into my eyes once again, “I love you but the next time I see you so shaken just walking into a location, you’re sitting out or we’re leaving. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you.” I nod my head and finally seeming content that I’ve calmed down he stands, “Pull your legs in, Darling.” I do as instructed before Sam closes the door and makes his way over to the driver side door as Colby slides into the backseat.

Colby leans forward and pats my head as Sam cranks the car and begins exiting the property. “You’re gonna be okay, Kid,” Colby affirms before he leans back to get comfortable for the ride home. Colby’s always been like a brother to me and no matter how well he hides it, I know he’s just as scared as Sam and I. Sam takes my hand in his as we make our way back to the hotel.

Masterlist

More Sam Golbach Imagines

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Do You Play?

Day #3 - Prompt: Best Friends | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Goodie (Freak) | Pairing: None | Tags: Making New Friends, Playing D&D

"Can I sit?" a voice beside him asks, startling him.

Goodie looks up, annoyed. He's engrossed in his book, and now there's a boy he's never seen before standing over his lunch table. 

"Uh, I guess?" he answers, because nobody's ever asked to sit with him before. Not even the new kids. Everyone learns pretty fast to stay away from the freak. 

"Cool, thanks," the other boy says. Then adds, "I'm Jeff. My first day," he explains, gesturing around. Yeah, Goodie's aware. He wouldn't be approaching Goodie if he knew anything about anything in this shitty middle school.

Goodie nods as he sits, his lunch tray slapping against the table.

"This is the part where you tell me your name," Jeff prompts, and Goodie sighs. 

"Goodie," he says. Waiting for it: Goody-goody. Little goody two-shoes. Sam Goody.

He's heard it all. He doesn't give a shit anymore. It's unoriginal and tired, and he refuses to play along. Not even for the new kid.

"Do you play?" Jeff asks, seeming to bypass the usual foolishness.

"Play?" Goodie asks.

And Jeff flicks the book in Goodie's hand: Dungeons & Dragons: Rules for Fantastic Medieval Wargames Campaigns Playable with Paper and Pencil and Miniature Figures.

Oh. This is what he's gonna make fun of, then. Great.

"Trying to learn, if I could get this read," Goodie says, pointed. Dismissive. 

"Me too," Jeff says, opening his backpack, holding it out for Goodie to look into, and sure enough, there's a copy of a similar book on top of all Jeff's textbooks.

Goodie admits, "That's cool."

"We'd need a referee. Or, a Dungeon Master as they call them in the later books. Do you want to do it?" Jeff asks.

And Goodie does not. He shakes his head no.

"You know anybody else that plays, then?" Jeff asks. 

Goodie doesn't, and he shakes his head again. 

Jeff nods, accepting his answer, "Well. The two of us can play, but one of us has to be the Dungeon Master," Jeff says, picking up his square piece of pizza and taking a big bite. 

Fine. Goodie will be the referee, the Dungeon Master, but he doesn't want to. Not at all.

They have their stuff spread out on the picnic table in the woods outside of the high school, the only secluded place Goodie knew about. They can't exactly do this in the library. Ms. Waterson would have their asses.

But they're finally playing. It took a couple weeks to read, and learn, but he thinks they finally have a working campaign, as basic as it is.

They are both laughing, having a good time, as Jeff rolls the dice again and Goodie reads from behind his folded out Trapper Keeper he's using as a makeshift screen.

He's about to tell Jeff his fate, when Goodie catches movement out of the corner of his eye, but it's gone in a flash, and he feels a sense of dread. 

"Somebody's here," he hisses, and Jeff turns to look. "Don't look, dummy!"

And Jeff swings his head back around, pretending he wasn't looking. Too late for that.

Goodie tries to ignore the bear, or whatever the fuck it might be lurking in the woods, and goes back to stumbling through the shoddy campaign he's tried to cobble together. It's awful. He wants to play, not host. 

Then he sees it again, the movement behind one of the trees.

"Okay, I know you're there. Come kick our asses or whatever, and then leave us the hell alone!" Goodie hollers, not willing to play peek-a-boo all afternoon.

He thinks nothing is gonna happen, but finally a face pops around from behind the tree.

Eddie Munson.

Great.

The eighth-grader with the buzzcut. The one that's an actual freak. Just what they needed.

From everything he's heard, Eddie Munson is mad at the world, and Goodie isn't about to draw any of that negative attention towards himself. He's no fool. So, he looks away, and hopes Eddie will just leave.

They aren't that lucky. Goodie never is, so he doesn't know why he thought today would be any different.

"What're you boys up to?" Eddie asks, walking over towards the table, and Goodie pro-actively reaches out, trying to protect the set-up. They spent weeks on this, and all of their allowance money. He doesn't want to dig the pieces out of the dead leaves on the ground.

"Just playing a game. Dungeons & Dragons. Ever heard of it?" Jeff asks, like a goddamn fool. 

Goodie glares at his new best friend, trying to relay that this is not the kid to talk to. Abort mission, shut up, Jeff.

But Jeff didn't shut up, and now Eddie nods, sitting down at the table, right next to Goodie, and Goodie resists the urge to scoot away. But he doesn't. Show no weakness. That's what his dad always says. Easier said than done.

Eddie picks up his hand-painted dragon miniature and looks at it closely. Carefully. 

And then Eddie smiles, the barest hint of a grin, "Can I join?"

Can Eddie Munson play with them? Oh, sure, and then later they'll all go to The Hideout for a few beers, Goodie thinks, sarcastically.

"Sure!" Jeff says, excited, "Do you want to be the Dungeon Master? Goodie's terrible at it."

Goodie scoffs.

"Hey, either of you play an instrument? There's a talent show coming up. If we win, that'd be some nice cash to get a new campaign going."

Jeff looks at Goodie, and Goodie shakes his head, adamantly.

"Goodie can play the bass! He's pretty good!" Jeff shouts, and Eddie grins. 

"Excellent," Eddie says, a smile splitting his face, "that's excellent."

Goodie can't help it, he grins back, just a little. Maybe this won't be terrible, after all. For now, he pushes his notes towards Eddie so he can get up to speed on what they do have right now, while they all dream about what they might be able to play together in the future.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

[bbyboybucket]

Beds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While sharing a hotel room with Reader, Bucky has a nightmare.

A/N: Surprise. Bet y’all didn’t expect a fic from me. How longs it been? Too long. Anyways, I’m rewriting one of my old fics, or more so taking the same concept but doing it more in character. Also I think this is the first time I’ve written something where we don’t see Bucky’s pov, so I think that’s kinda fun. Btw I’m rusty so don’t judge me if it shows. Also I think this is gender neutral but I’m not sure?

Warnings: language, sexual references, nightmares, ptsd, panic attack (not too intense), allusions to some hydra stuff but nothing graphic, hurt/comfort, frenemies to lovers, Bucky is moody, the one bed trope™️, no use of “y/n”, kinda sappy

—————————

A loud sigh came from the left of you just before the elevator dinged and the metal doors creaked open. You ignored him, you chose not to engage in his passive aggressiveness. You weren’t going to accept the invitation of a petty rant hiding behind that sigh.

You walked down the hallway with Bucky stalking behind you, like an angry pitbull trailing after its owner.

“I don’t even know why we got a fucking hotel in the first place.” Bucky grumbled, and you could practically feel the weight of his eye roll, even though you couldn't see it.

“Here we go.” You muttered under your breath. “What did you want? A safe house? It’s not like we’re on some high stakes, undercover op. Anything more than a hotel would be excessive.”

“Anything more woulda had better sleeping options.” He whined. “Coulda at least got us separate rooms.”

“My god, give it a rest Bucky, you’ve been complaining all day about this.” You we’re exasperated, it was about the third time you’d heard him gripe that day.

“Well, I’m not a fan. Us sharing is the stupidest fucking idea Sam’s ever had.”

“Bitching about it isn’t gonna change anything. And, it’s not like we have to sleep together or anything, I’ll be in a whole different bed.” You said, unlocking the room door. You had been looking forward to chilling out and resting, but as soon as you entered the room, you realized that your night would be anything but restful.

“Fuck.” You laughed, humorlessly, knowing you were about to hear an endless rant. “I take that back, there isn’t different beds.”

Surprisingly that rant didn’t come. Bucky weirdly seemed calmer than he had before and merely shrugged. “‘S fine. I’ll take the floor.”

“Well, one of us can try the couch?”

“That thing could fit a toddler at best.” He gestured towards the small leather love seat as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion he had ever heard, and in all honesty, he had a point.

You pinched the skin between your eyebrows. “Sam said he booked a two person room.”

He shrugged again and then blankly said. “This is why he shoulda booked separate rooms.”

“My god Bucky, I’m not that bad of a roommate. I don’t snore, I don’t sleep walk, and it’s not like I’m gonna kill you in your sleep. It’s one fucking night. Just-“ You took a deep breath and tried to mellow out. “You can have the bed.”

“No, you can have it.”

“You’re obviously more tore up about this than me, so it’s yours. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No.” He refused, his eyes held an odd stubbornness. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I literally don’t care, I’ve done it a million times. Plus, your grumpy ass probably needs some good sleep.” You half teased, trying to do the nice thing. You unzipped your bag and pulled your belongings out. “I’m gonna go change clothes.”

When you came back from the bathroom, Bucky was already in his boxers and a T-shirt, positioning a pillow and blanket on the floor.

“I told you the bed was yours.”

“Okay, and?”

“Why are you getting down there?“

“Why the fuck are you arguing?”

“Because you’re all pissy about this whole situation, so I’m trying to make your life easier and give you the bed.” You didn’t understand his defiance and odd aversion to the thing he’d been complaining about restlessly: the better sleeping option.

“I don’t want the goddamn bed, just shut the fuck up about it!” Bucky snapped. His outburst caught you off guard, he acted as if you had been purposefully pushing his buttons.

“Damn, fine.” You held your hands up in defeat, almost offended at the way he lashed out. “I get you’re trying to be all gentlemen-like but ya know, the aggressiveness defeats the purpose.”

“It’s not about being a gentlemen. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not being nice, I-“ He grunted. “Never mind I don’t owe you a fuckin’ explanation. Just get in bed.”

“I will, thank you, cause I’m tired. Especially tired of whatever the fuck is up your ass and has you so bitchy.”

You said it with full sincerity, of course you were used to bickering with Bucky but it always was in a playful manner, even when annoyed with each other, it was always friendly fire. There had been no sign of that all afternoon, Bucky was purely hostile and treating you like his greatest burden.

“You running your damn mouth and arguing isn’t helping anything.” He spat as he turned off the lights.

“Wow, sorry. Didn’t know offering you the bed was so fucking rude and offensive.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He groaned.

You muttered “fucking dick” under your breath.

“I heard that.”

As you settled into the bed, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in frustration. You found yourself pondering what you could have possibly done to provoke such a strong reaction from him. You couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't entirely about you. Maybe something else was going on and you were standing in as Bucky’s punching bag, just being the unfortunate catheter for his anger.

It didn’t matter. You had to force all the worry and aggravation out of your head because his attitude wasn’t worth losing sleep over. The last thing you need was to be exhausted on a mission.

—————————

You were jolted awake by a sudden, loud gasp, followed by a soft groan emanating from his direction. Rubbing your eyes, you opened them to find him sitting upright, his knees drawn close to his chest. He looked so small, a stark contrast to the huge stature and borderline intimidating presence you’d become so familiar with. His breathing was audible despite the distance between you, it was quick and shallow.

“Buck?” You concernedly called out to him but he didn’t answer. You then got out of bed, and flicked on the nightstand lamp.

“Bucky?” You tried again when you were closer.

Out of all the time you’d known Bucky, this was the first you’d seen him vulnerable. He was trembling harshly, hyperventilating too. He seemed equally dazed and terrified, but also distant as if he were lost in his head. You always thought Bucky had rather sad eyes but right now, the way they were widened with fear and slightly watering, took it to a whole new level.

You knew what was happening and seeing it felt like a stab to the heart. You slowly sat down in front of him, keeping space between you as to not worsen his panic.

“Buck, it’s okay.” You cooed. “Can you hear me right now?”

His gaze shifted to you, finally making eye contact, which gave you an answer.

“Okay, can you try to breathe with me? Deep breath…in 1…2…3” You exaggeratedly took large, slow inhale to lead him. “Out 1…2…3…”

You repeated the example, guiding until he finally started to follow along with you. “Good, you’re doing good. Do you know where you are?”

“….hotel. We’re on a mission?”

“Good, that’s right, good. It’s okay. You’re safe.” With a gentle and caring tone, you spoke to him, hoping to bring a sense of peace to the turmoil that was raging within him. Your heart felt heavy as you seen the pain that was laced within him, and you wished so badly that you could erase it all. You’d been scared you weren’t doing the right things, but his increasing improvement made you more confident.

“Can I touch you?”

He nodded.

You supportively placed your hand on top of his, stroking your thumb over his skin in a soothing manner. He initially flinched but didn’t pull away. “Starting to calm down now?”

“Yeah.” He released a long heavy breath and wiped the wetness off his eyelids with his free hand.

You sat silently with him, providing that tender, tactile support as he as he worked to regain his composure and steady his breathing. As he gradually calmed down, you noticed the shame creeping over him, causing his cheeks to flush red and his gaze to avert from yours.

“I didn’t want you to see this shit.” He finally said after minutes of silence.

“It’s fine-“

“Fuckin embarrassing is what it is.”

“No, stuff happens. I’m not gonna judge, ya know? I understand. I know what having panic attacks is like.” You revealed in attempt to make him feel more seen.

He slightly shook his head, at himself instead of towards to you, but he stayed silent.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment, he licked his lips and hung his head even lower. “‘M used to it. Get ‘em bout every night.”

“The panic attacks?”

“Nightmares. Those sometimes comes after though.”

“Oh.” You whispered, feeling like something in you had just shattered. “About hydra?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered carefully.

“Nothing you should hear. My head’s a fucked up place.” He laughed humorlessly.

“Try me.”

He hesitated for a moment, you assumed he was debating on wether or not he should trust you with such a heavy part of himself. “Basically all memories. Not so much dreams, more so just stuff that’s already happened. Flashbacks I guess.”

As his mouth parted to speak, only to close again, you knew that he wasn’t finished so you waited patiently, allowing him the time he needed to gather his thoughts.

“Most of the time it’s…you know…what I’ve done. People I’ve killed. It’s….of course it’s horrible. Pretty gruesome but uh….I’ve gotten better at dealing with those, it’s still….I just get em so much that I can calm down faster now. But sometimes…it’s the shit Hydra did to me and it’s just….I’d get punished a lot. Some kinda torture or beatings, I’ll spare you the details.”

You continued to stroke his hand and stayed silent, not wanting to push him.

“But uh…they had this chair. Um, I’d get strapped down and they’d electrocute me. That’s how they’d…ya know. And I’d always end up there for a wipe after I fucked up. Or even if I didn’t. I don’t what’s worse honestly…the sick twisted shit they’d come up with or the wipe but…but reliving all that….”

“That’s fucking terrifying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, terrifying is an understatement. Sometimes…it’s hard to feel safe after that.”

His breathing started to pick up again. The cracks in his voice made it clear he was starting to get overwhelmed.

You then firmly grasped his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t like to think about all that. I try to never actually. It’s like…obviously it’s…I can’t describe how fucking awful. But at the same time, if I do think about it, it’s like I’m ignoring all the evil shit I’ve done. And that’s not fair to everyone I’ve wronged. So then….if I never think about or deal with the torture….when I have to relive it in these goddamn nightmares…it just fucks me up worse. And my fucking luck is one of the few times it happens is when I’m sharing a room with someone.”

Your heart sank to the floor, your own eyes were watering at this point from getting just this small glimpse of his pain. “I’m so sorry, Buck. Hell, I don’t even know what to say right now. I wish I could do more to help.”

“You’re doing enough.“

“You didn’t deserve it, ya know? I don’t know everything that went on but you never deserved to suffer like that.”

“Half-debatable. At certain point it had to become karma for the suffering I was causing myself.” He shrugged solemnly.

“That’s not true. You had no control.”

He sighed exasperatedly, filled with a sad frustration directed at himself. He put his face in his palm. “We’ve had that conversation. You already know I don’t see it that way.”

“Yeah but I hope one day you will. And I’ll die before I stop trying to get it through your head that you’re innocent. You know you’re strong, right? So damn strong to be holding it together right now. After going through all that pain and to still be here and be a good man? To come as far as you have. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you.”

“We can agree to disagree but I appreciate it….and thanks sitting with me and calming me down and all that.”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. This is why…I didn’t wanna share. And this is….one…of the reasons I don’t like sleeping in a bed. Makes the nightmares worse sometimes. That’s not your fault though, so I shouldn’t’ve…I just didn’t want you to know.”

“It’s alright. I get it now.”

“I shouldn’t’ve took it out on you. I really am sorry.”

“Buck, I get why you were upset. Well kinda, I honestly can’t imagine even a fraction of what you go through.”

“Goin a little far with the pity.” He grew a tiny smirk.

“Compassion.” You corrected. “And I can’t help it, I mean…not to get all sappy, but I care about you. A lot.”

His smirk morphed into a smile and you mirrored it. You wrapped your arm around him and laid your head on his shoulder, Bucky then slowly encircled you with his own arms. You knew the hug was Bucky's way of wordlessly affirming that he cared about you too.

“Didn’t know Mr. Grumpy was capable of hugging.”

“Consider it a one time gift.”

You chuckled in response but then an idea entered your mind.

“You think it’d help if I slept with you?” You asked softly.

He gave you a cheeky grin. “Could at least take me out to dinner first.”

“You know what I meant.”

He sighed. “Not to be an ass but I literally just told you I don’t like beds?”

“No dumb ass, I mean down here.”

He tilted his head and gave a tight lipped frown. “You don’t gotta do that.”

“No. But if it’d help you feel more comfortable, then I want to.”

He didn’t answer at first but because his face had always been an open book, revealing every emotion with striking transparency, he wore an expression that was etched with heartbreaking gratitude.

“Yeah…we can try that.” He whispered, as if he was in shock.

With gentle movements, you plucked the blanket and pillow from the bed and nestled yourself beside him. As you lay towards him, your faces drew closer, until they were mere inches apart. You could feel his warm breath caressing your skin. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as you both gazed into each other's eyes, it was almost hypnotic. There was no awkwardness when it should have been expected, instead, a comforting feeling washed over you. You were consumed by excitement, tinged with a soothing calmness. Sure, it was paradoxical, but it was consuming and left you lost in the moment.

“Um…” Bucky started hesitantly but then cut himself off, he bit his bottom lip nervously.

Before you had a chance to even consider the words, they spilled from your lips. You were surprised with your own spontaneity, but the question had already slipped. “You wanna cuddle?”

It was as if you read his mind, you could practically see all the anxiety melt off Bucky before he pulled you into his chest. “This okay?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You replied, allowing yourself to sink into the comforting warmth of his body, all while listening to the soft thumps of his heart beating. It was a new intimacy that strangely felt familiar and natural, like everything had suddenly fallen into place.

You heard him yawn and you hummed fondly at how cute it was. “Goodnight, Buck.”

Tenderly, he leaned in and softly placed his lips upon your forehead, holding them there for a fleeting moment before settling his chin atop your head.

—————————

Bucky straddled your lap, his hand cupping your face as he devoured you in a passionate kiss that unraveled you with each flick of his tongue. His other hand roamed to less innocent regions of your body, exploring them with a touch that was both bold and tender.

He repositioned and pressed you down onto the couch, towering over you as his tongue continued to dance in your mouth. You were both breathless, and desiring more. He proceeded to plant kisses on your jawline before moving down to nibble on your neck.

He suddenly stopped, muttering against your skin. “You wanna move to your room? Have a little more space for this?”

“You know what’s funny?”

“Hm?”

“How before we got together, you hated beds, but now you want in my sheets every damn second.” You teased.

“Well…feels a lot more pleasant now.”

“Weird way to say ‘I’m always horny’.”

“I’m making up for 80 some years. And like you aren’t, you’re worse than me half the time.”

“Definitely worked up now, so get me to the bed and we’ll go as many rounds as you want, pervert.”

“Fuck you.” He laughed.

“I’m waiting for it.”

[itsplumwriter]

Baking for Bucky

POV: While browsing a small collector’s shop, Bucky finds a vintage WWII magazine from the 40s. He flips through the pages and spots a dessert recipe, asking if you could make it for him.

A/N: Just some fluffsss. I haven't written a fluffy piece in a while so I really hope you'll like this. I love baking, do y'all? It's such a comfort activity and I think it'd be so cute to bake for Bucky.

--- --- ---

“What are we making again?” you ask, pulling out the flour and sugar.

“Gingerbread. It’s a classic from the 40s,” Bucky says, flipping through the old-timey magazine. “Housewives used to pack it in their husband’s box lunches back in the day.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Housewife? I am a housewife now?”

He lowers the magazine, glancing at you. “You can be..."

You nearly trip trying to get the bowl. “Slow your roll, soldier...”

He chuckles as he helps you pull out the rest of the ingredients. You love him, obviously, and you could definitely see yourself marrying him. But you’re both enjoying the dating phase and there’s no need to rush things.

You add the ingredients to the bowl and stir it's contents carefully, noticing a concerned look on Bucky's face. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Bucky smiles, enjoying the fact you know him so well. "The smell is just bringing me back... Usually sights, sounds, and smells bring me back to bad memories from my past, so it's kinda nice to have a smell trigger a good memory for once."

You smile and nod, hoping he'll say more; Bucky rarely opens up. When he does, you find it best to just keep quiet and let it flow naturally.

"I kinda miss the old days, you know?..." he continues. "Sometimes I hate that I was frozen for so long. That so many years were taken from me. Sometimes I wish I could have lived in the era I was supposed to.”

“I can understand that,” you say, nodding.

He approaches you, hugging you. “But the thing is if I hadn’t been frozen... I never would’ve met you."

He buries his head in the crook of your neck. "And that sorta makes it all worth it."

“Bucky,” you sigh. His words are sweet, but they make you upset. "I don't want you to say anything was worth what you went through..."

Bucky takes your hand, kissing your palm. “I mean it. And I meant it when I said I want you to be my wife...”

You smile. "Let's see how this gingerbread turns out first. You may change your mind..."

Bucky chuckles, rolling his eyes.

--- --- ---

The entire house is filled with the smell of gingerbread. A warm feeling enrobes the air, reminding you of Christmastime. You both curl up on the couch, eating a few slices with milk.

"You're clearly wifey material," Bucky chimes.

You raise an eyebrow. "Where did you hear that term..."

Bucky stares at you. "Sam."

You chuckle, shaking your head.

"No, but seriously... This has got to be one of the best desserts I've ever had."

You roll your eyes. "...Don't exaggerate, Bucky."

“I'm not! It's the loveliest thing I've ever tasted because the loveliest person made it for me."

You fiddle with a few gingerbread crumbs on your plate, blushing.

Bucky smiles to himself. "I remember one of my buddies used to have these all the time in his box lunch. He’d brag all the time to us that his wife made it for him... I can’t believe I had to wait nearly 90 years for my wife to make me some...”

You clench your jaw. “But I'm not your wife, Buckyy... I love you and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you. But I don't think I'm ready just yet."

He gives you a soft smile. “No rush, doll... I believe I waited my whole life to meet you... It'd be an honor for me to wait a little longer..."

--- --- ---

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[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 1

author’s note: I’m really excited to have something to share with you guys. It’s written from a diff POV than I usually do, but my main character girly pop has a lot of personality 😘 Big big big thank you to bff @samkiszkasfacialhair for all the help, the ideas, and the motivation 🤍

pairing: female!OCxkiszkas (just read it, you’ll figure it out)

time frame: 2010-2014

word count: 5.7k this part

warnings: language, illicit substance use, rampant teenage emotions and delulu, kissing, josh 🥺

I don’t actually remember the day I met Sam Kiszka.

Not the date, or even the day of the week. I do know what year it was, because it was the year my mom moved us to this quaint (read: weird) little town. Charming, but weird. And boring.

Boring, until I met Sam.

Eleven-year-old Sam was a menace, but twelve-year-old me was bored. So obviously, we became the best of friends. He taught me how to light a firecracker, I had an endless supply of Barbies to blow up. He showed me how to slip out of my bedroom window without making a sound, I told him how to impress girls without grossing them out. In our early teenage years, he introduced me to drugs and I taught him how to unclasp a bra. Chill out, it was weed, and I wasn’t even wearing the bra.

My mom just loved that I’d made such a great friend.

The first time I was allowed to play at his house I met his sister, who was closer to my age, but it was too late. Sam and I were already attached at the hip, though mine sat an inch or two higher than his for a couple of years, until a growth spurt and puberty eventually left him with the height advantage.

That was when he stopped calling me by my name, and started calling me Tiny. Like I said, a menace.

“You’re the coolest girl I know, even if you’re vertically challenged.”

Please note: the first time he said this to me, he had finally just surpassed me in height by half an inch.

Then of course, there were the twins. You’d think the eldest siblings would not have become a big part of my life, but they were just always around, and actually liked hanging out with their baby brother. Close knit family and all that. It’s weird, right? At the wise and worldly age of twelve, the two fourteen-year-olds terrified me. Josh and Jake were both scary in their own way to a pubescent girl on the cusp of teenager-dom. Jake was pretty quiet, but his ego was not. He was hot, okay? In like, a Justin Bieber-y way but also kind of a jock-y way, but a jock with a guitar. Whatever, I’m only human.

Josh was… well, Josh was Josh. Unlike anyone else I’d ever met, and not necessarily in a good way. He was loud, like, all the time. He never seemed to stop talking and ended most of his sentences at an eardrum-piercing decibel level. Fortunately, or not, he didn’t get hot until I was old enough to obsess over it.

I’m sure I didn’t speak a coherent word to either of them the entire first year of my friendship with Sam.

I have a million memories of the time I spent with Sam and his family, but I have no recollection of the day I fell in love with Josh Kiszka.

But once I did, it was a deep, obsessive kind of love that only a teenager can achieve. One day he was my best friend’s eccentric older brother and the next…

Well, the next he was a rockstar.

I mentioned the whole jock with a guitar thing that Jake had going on, and that really hadn’t changed, but somewhere along the way Josh had transformed from a loud, annoying theater kid to a genuine, full blown vocalist. I mean, for a while he was both.

When they first started playing together, I only gave a shit because they’d roped Sam into it too and it took up way too much of his time. I’d watch them play, and they weren’t… bad? They weren’t good either. My time could have been better spent watching R rated movies (scandalous) or, I don’t know, doing my homework. But nope! We were in a band now.

They practiced, a lot. It felt like all they did was practice, for at least a couple years. And I just watched dutifully, every weekend of every month of every year. They did get better.

But here’s the thing. I was there for all of it. I was there the day Jake ran into the living room and snatched Sam up by the back of his shirt. Come on Sammy boy, we need you on bass. I was there the day their buddy Kyle sat down at the drum kit and completed the ensemble. (I was also there the day he got replaced.) And of course, I was there the day Josh pushed his voice past the instruments and the amps, and went from a weak imitation of a rock singer to something else all together. Something totally and completely him.

That’s not the day I fell in love with him (I would’ve remembered), but it was the first time he had ever… impressed me. And not that I cared, but Jake was impressed too. I saw it on his face.

It was cute. In like, a sweet, brotherly way.

Okay, anyway! The combination of Jake’s skill and Josh’s raw talent got them noticed. (Sammy’s talent would develop over time, I didn’t forget about him. Sam, you’re the most talented one in the band.) And then they were playing actual gigs. I wasn’t allowed to go to most of those early ones, because for some reason these dive bars were permitting these pint sized, teenage Zeppelin wannabes to perform at them. Old people like our parents loved that shit. The locals went crazy for it.

They played Fischer Hall a couple times, right there in town, but around their third or fourth gig there, Josh had unbuttoned the flowy, floral, women’s blouse he was wearing and took to the stage with it hanging open, beaded necklaces draped down his bare chest and curly hair wild.

Why was he sort of… ripped? How had I never noticed? Were his pants always so tight? And low cut? I was sweating. I didn’t even know he was literally cosplaying Robert Plant.

Did I fall in love with him that night? Of course not, I already told you I don’t remember the day that happened.

The Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I left my house around 8:30 to head to Sam’s. To my mom, this was an average Saturday night - I spent nearly all of them at Sam’s house, where his parents were always home. Ya know, or so mine thought. Whether the Kiszkas were actually home or not, we hung out in the garage.

That’s not as weird as it sounds, it was a really cool garage. With furniture and everything. And their instruments, a lot of them. I don’t know how every one of these guys knew how to play every instrument packed into that room, but they did. And by the time I was sixteen, they were really almost good at it.

(Jake was good. Very good… I told you he was hot.)

This particular Saturday though, this was going to be the Saturday that changed my life. And I wanted to dress the part.

In hindsight, I wore something I’d probably worn a hundred times. Then why had it taken me so long to get ready? I changed my jeans twice, my shirt at least ten times, added a sweater, threw it back on my bed, added a flannel, tossed that to the floor. Picked it back up and shoved my arms in, made sure it hung off my shoulder just so. Shoulders are sexy, right? Do guys like shoulders? Oh shit, what do guys even like?

Anyway, I left the house looking exactly as I always did.

I rode my bike slowly that night, already hyper aware of the sweat under my arms.

So I slowed my pedaling even further. When the house came into view, I hopped off the bike and walked it up the drive before tossing it to the grass outside the garage.

Okay, knock twice and just go in.

That’s what everyone always did, what I always did. Just knock twice then lift the door. Everyone was always welcome, come on in!

So go in, idiot.

Look, I did it eventually. Just like always, knock knock, lift the door enough to slip underneath, let it close behind me. Except when it rolled back to the ground, I lost my nerve and stood frozen there for a few seconds too long.

Sam called me out, because he’s a menace.

“The hell are you doing, Tiny? We started without you.”

I moved farther into the space, eyes bouncing between my options through the soft haze of pungent smoke that already hung over the room. There was my usual spot - on the floor, next to the spot where Sam sat cross-legged, his long frame folded and bent, his sharp elbows resting on his knees as he waited for the joint to make its way back to him.

Not tonight, I’m on a mission.

Jake sat to his left, in a well-worn, floral print wingback chair. It was comfortable enough for one person, decades of weight softening the strength of the cushion’s springs before it ever came to live in this particular garage. Jake’s body was slung over it, legs thrown haphazardly over an arm while his own were wrapped around an acoustic guitar. Typical. He tipped his chin at me from under the brim of a bucket hat, then nodded towards the floor beside him. Holy shit, does he want me to sit by him?! I think my fingers lifted in a barely-there wave but I’m not really sure they were functioning correctly.

Okay focus, he did not. Does not. Not in this lifetime.

Still without his next hit, Sam glanced up at me over his shoulder and patted the threadbare throw rug next to him. “Sit down weirdo, you’re making me paranoid.”

Nerves that I’d never, never, felt before in this room fluttered through my stomach, I let my gaze meet Sam’s before continuing the search for a place to plant myself.

There was really only one option left - the couch - and both ends were already occupied. Our friend Danny (Kyle’s replacement, sorry Kyle) was in the process of melting into the corner closest to Jake, his eyes glassy and already tinged pink when he looked up at me. Only his eyebrows lifted in greeting before he mirrored Sam’s offer to sit next to him, tapping the cushion beside him.

This is fine, totally normal! Danny was Sam’s other half. Well, his other male half. I guess we were in thirds. A trio.

I accepted the offering, stepping around the coffee table, scarred with years worth of “art” - drawings and carvings, a few discreet dirty words etched into the surface in between - to drop to the middle of the couch. One of Sam’s brows tipped up when I met his eyes again, his expression asking, “Dude, what gives?”

“Hey, you’re here!” He noticed me, finally. Silvery smoke crept from between his lips as he grinned, and I watched transfixed when they pursed together and he blew a cloud toward the ceiling. My stare was broken when he leaned across the table and passed the joint to an impatient Sam, but to the delight of the butterflies going nuts in the pit of my stomach, he leaned back into the cushions and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind me. EEEEP!

“Hey-“ It was a humiliating and unsexy croak, and I quickly cleared my throat and tried again. “Hey, Josh. Hi.”

His long hair was pulled back, his entire face available for my viewing pleasure. Things were going perfectly.

I joined the rotation, the weed easing the flutters caused by sitting so close to Josh, but amplifying the feeling that the other three were watching and wondering why I was acting so strange.

They were not. They were high.

Aside from the stray curious eyebrow from my BFF across the table, they actually acted like nothing was abnormal about my seating choice, even when I started to scooch imperceptibly to my left every time I adjusted the way I was sitting.

Pulled my legs up under me? Scooch.

Dropped them down so my sneakers met the cement? Scooch.

Crossed my left ankle over my right knee? Scooch.

It was totally subtle.

“I’m gonna grab a pop, you guys want anything?” Sam startled me out of a pleasant reverie as he jumped up from the floor, but my freaking knee was touching Josh’s knee! No I don’t want anything, I have everything I need right here!

It turned out Sam was a huge knee blocker. He gripped me by an elbow and peeled me from the couch as the others murmured at our retreating backs about needing Doritos. He pushed me out the side door and towards the house and had me in the kitchen before I could even tell him he was ruining everything!

Even through bleary, hooded eyes, his death glare was brutal.

“Saaammmmm, what are you doing?!” “What the hell do you think you’re doing, T?”

More glaring. He broke the glare-off first, jerking his head to the side to flick his hair out of his eyes and turning to open the refrigerator, but once his face was inside it, he called me out again.

“Why are you being so weird with Josh?”

I love him, I need him!

“Whaaa.. I don’t know what you mean. You’re just super high.” Yeah, I really thought that would work. Sue me!

Straightening to his full height (seriously, like two inches taller than me… maybe three), he spun to face me again. He actually looked down his nose at me.

“Do you like, like him? What the fuck, Tiny?” He whispered that last part, as if his parents were lurking around the corner waiting to bust him for cussing.

“Look, you wouldn’t understand Sam. I’m much older than y-“

“You’re not even an entire year older than me.”

“Eleven months is basically an entire ye-“

“That’s not the point!” That part was like whisper yelling. I swear it looked like he was yelling, but it sounded like he was whispering.

“Okay!” Yeah, I whisper yelled back. “Sammy, I like him… I’m sorry! I don’t even know when it happened but I woke up one day and I realized that he’s perfect! He’s funny and nice and he’s so… so… cute! Okay? He’s so cute I wanna die and I love him!”

Sam’s eyes were wide, as wide as they could be under the circumstances, and he stared at me like I’d grown another head. With a horn coming out of it.

“You love him. You realize how dumb you sound right now?”

Dumb? No no, this was serious. I pleaded with my best friend for forgiveness. And his help. “Sam… please. Don’t be mad at me, I- I don’t know, I can’t help it! That’s just how I feel, and I want him to like me back!” That’s when it hit me, I needed a wingman for this plan.

“Can you help me get him to like me back?” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out and everything. As if that had ever worked in the four years we’d known each other so far.

“Fuck no.” His eyes moved side to side, looking for sneaky parents again I guessed. “Definitely not. Why do you have to like my brother, dude? That’s sick, it’s like incest or something!” He stomped his feet a little, and I couldn't help but think it made him look like a child. He was a child! This was serious, grown-up shit and I didn’t have time to play games.

“Ugh, if you’re not gonna help me then at least get out of my way.” I pushed past him and headed back out of the house and into the garage. Not much had changed when I got there, but Danny must have left while Sam and I were gone. The entire couch was empty aside from Josh, still sitting cross-legged in one corner. Damn it!

I flopped into the spot that Danny had vacated, just as Sam hustled back in through the side door, arms full of sodas and bags of chips. My cheeks were warm when I looked up at him, and then they burst into flames.

“Scoot over T, I like the corner spot.”

He’s helping me! Oh shit, he’s helping me. Move your ass!!

Fumbling for a grip on reality, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sam’s. He lifted his brows and tilted his head in Josh’s direction. I suddenly remembered why I wasted all my days with this kid - he’s my ride or die. And now I owed him, big.

As soon as I stood to shift to the center of the couch, Sam’s elbow snuck out and made contact with my shoulder. My feet tangled with each other and, balance lost, I tumbled. Right into the arms of my beloved.

Okay okay, that’s a reach. But I did land on him. Sam had nudged me just hard enough to send me toward the opposite end of the couch and I landed ass-first on Josh’s leg, still folded and crossed under the other.

Through the mortification, I heard Sam’s distinct snickering as he placed himself gently on the other cushion. Then, through the popping of soda tabs and crinkling of chip bags, I heard the sweetest, most beautiful sound ever.

“If you wanted to sit next to me so bad, you could’ve just done it, T.”

I quite literally had to extract myself from his lap, but Josh just giggled as I clumsily moved off of him. To my extreme delight and disbelief, I didn’t make it too far. He slung an arm over my shoulders and kept me at his side. We are sharing a cushion. ALERT ALERT - OUR THIGHS ARE TOUCHING.

His hand wrapped around the ball of my shoulder and squeezed. Not once, but twice. I felt like I was gonna puke, but I risked turning my head and meeting his eyes. And he. Fucking. Smiled.

“You good, Tiny?” I should’ve laughed. We were the same exact height, I could be calling him tiny. But this wasn’t funny, because he was still smiling at me and he’d lowered his voice to speak directly to me and I felt it all the way to my toes. Somehow I managed to smile back.

“I’m good.” I was soooooo good. Even when Sam shoved a bag of Doritos at me, I was good. Because Josh reached into it and pulled a few out for himself. He reached into my lap! For chips!

Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Josh’s hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best “holy shit holy shit holy shit” expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadn’t noticed.

Except I was noticing. And he didn’t look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact we’d ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar he’d been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.

Look, he didn’t throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Lay’s to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.

“Whatever. Night, guys.”

Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!

The next hour or so passed in a blur. Sam kept hitting the joint long after Josh and I had turned it down, and by the time he’d deposited the roach in the ashtray he could barely keep his eyes open. I watched his head fall back into the cushion and pounced on my opportunity.

Leaning away from Josh’s loving embrace (shut up, I was in heaven okay?), I slapped Sam’s chest with the back of my hand.

“Sammy… Sam!” He snorted as his head whipped up, swiped a hand over his mouth and looked at me. I was still leaning toward him, my back to Josh, and I spoke to him telepathically. Or with my eyebrows.

Get out of here right now or so help me God.

He answered verbally, like he couldn't even read my mind. “Huh?”

I withheld growling at him like an animal. “Why don’t you go to bed, man? You’re toast.” Go. NOW.

His eyes tried to focus on me, they really did, before he shook his head and tried again. “Shit. Yeah, okay. Are you… do you wanna stay on the couch tonight?”

Yes. This couch. Allll night long.

“Yeah yeah, I will, but I’m not tired yet. I’m just gonna, um, chill here for a little bit longer?” At that, I turned my head and risked a glance at Josh. Thank God I did, because he was already looking at me, and he grinned. EEEEEEEP!

“I’m not tired yet either, we can listen to some music.” I doubted I could hear music at that point, not over the blood rushing in my ears. But then, oh then, he looked up at Sam and said, “I’ll make sure she makes it to bed, I mean, the couch. Downstairs, I’ll make sure she makes it downstairs.”

“Fine, whatever.” See? He’s my ride or die. “See you in the morning, T.” And then he was gone.

We were alone.

HELLO? WE. WERE. ALONE.

Sure, I’d been alone with Josh before. I’d been hanging around his house nearly every day for four years, we’d definitely been left in a room together at some point. But not while his arm was draped loosely over my shoulders, not while our legs were touching, not while my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

But now that we were alone, I had no effing clue what to do. Then Josh stood up. My heart dropped into my stomach, but he walked over to the stacked milk crates that housed a small part of their family’s record collection and crouched to skim through them. He found something he liked and set it on the turntable, the needle bringing the crackling beginnings of a song to life.

When he turned back to face me, I thought for sure he’d sit in that ugly wingback chair. Or at the other end of the couch. Instead, he circled the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of me than he had been all night. And now his other thigh was touching mine!

I’m pretty sure my throat closed up because I had to clear it rather unattractively to speak. “What, uhh, ha, um, who is this?”

Sexy, right?

Didn’t matter, his smile took shape right in front of my eyes and all I could see was the little barely-there gap between his front teeth. I wanted to know what it felt like on my tongue. Would I be able to tell? If I kissed him right now, would I be able to feel that little discrepancy in the perfection of his teeth? I lifted my eyes to meet his and realized he’d spoken, and I’d missed it.

“Sorry, uhh… what?”

His head tilted and his eyes searched my face for… something. “Wilson Pickett. Sammy hasn’t played this for you?”

Sammy? Who is Sammy? Ohhh right, best friend.

“Um, no, I don’t think so. But maybe? There’s always music on, he’s probably played this.”

He just nodded, at first in response to my rambling and then in time with the song. When it ended, he just… looked at me, for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds. I was once again hyper aware of my underarms. Sweating. So I slipped the flannel off of my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves but giving me some airflow to the pits. Josh’s eyes dropped from mine and landed on the now exposed skin. Yes! Guys like shoulders!

The realization slapped me in the face, so I grabbed it and ran. I slid my arms out of the sleeves and tossed the flannel past Josh and onto the chair, thanking God that I’d worn a tank top. He gulped. Like a full-blown gulp.

Omg I’m making him nervous!!

Confidence boosted, I shifted even closer to him, until our bodies were tucked tight against each other. I’d never been this close to him, aside from that one time we’d been crammed in the back seat of his mom’s car with Sam and Jake, their sister sitting pretty in the front seat. But then I had been a scrawny kid, only thirteen (and a half) and he had been a really weird fifteen year old, not yet having grown into his features. I hadn’t wanted any part of his stinky, sweaty, farty body near me and I’d squeezed myself so close to Sam I was practically in his lap.

But on this night? This Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I was no longer a kid. And he was no longer weird. He was beautiful, and my face was really close to his face. I could feel it when he whispered, his breath actually touched my lips.

“Wha- what are you doing, T?”

He was looking at my lips, waiting for my answer. I licked them because I was freaking parched, but he watched. And I watched him gulp, again! My tongue slipped out and wet my bottom lip a second time.

“Josh?” Whispering is sexy, it’s seductive. I was sure of it. He did it back, just my name - my actual name - lilting at the end in question.

“Do you.. wanna… kiss me?” I leaned over him, placed my left hand on his chest and felt his collar bone under my fingertips through his t-shirt. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

I saw the panic widen his eyes, then they darted around me, looking at anything but me. It was really so cute how nervous he was. He was eighteen, for Christ sake! And I was making him nervous!

“Kiss me, Josh.” His eyes snapped back to mine, slipped down to my mouth again and then back.

And then. He. Freaking. KISSED. ME.

In a split second that felt like hours, I watched his eyes close and perfect lips pucker. My eyes stayed open at first, I didn’t want to miss this.

Leaning further into him, I settled my lips against his and slid the hand on his chest up the side of his neck (his pulse was out of control, by the way), and then cradled his jaw. My fingertips were in his hair right behind his ear. I pulled his face closer and ramped up the pressure of our lips pushed together.

He put his hands on me. I swear to God, he really did! One reached for my hip and the other came up to rest against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my body took over. Not a coherent thought left in my pretty little head. Especially when our mouths separated, and then he pushed them back together.

With a mind of its own, my other hand came up and gripped his shoulder. Then my leg swung over his lap and I. Was. Straddling. Him.

It wasn’t my fault. My brain had gone haywire, my body moving on instinct. I’d quite literally never done this before. I’d kissed plenty, I even kissed Sam once (barf), but this felt different. This felt mature. Probably a little more mature than I was ready for but like I said, it was not my fault.

A lot of blame fell on Josh, a whole mountain of it, when the hand on my cheek dropped to my other hip and gripped hard, pulled me flush against him. And his lips coerced my mouth open. And the tip of his tongue swept out and touched mine.

Oh, I was in way over my head. But this was Josh, the boy I loved, and he was loving me back!

A sound I’d never made before crept up my throat. Instant embarrassment heated my already toasty cheeks and climbed up my neck, but then. Ohh then. The same freaking sound came from somewhere below me. Josh groaned. Because of me.

My animal brain completely took over. My tongue was already sliding against his, and my hips decided to follow suit. With zero finesse, they rocked into his. Just once.

He broke the kiss and dropped his head back to the cushion.

No no noooooo, you like this! You love it!

I could feel the proof that he loved it. I was sitting on it. I could see it, his chest heaving.

So I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his throat.

“Stop, T.” His hands fell limp and landed on my thighs. My brain scrambled to catch up. Stop? Go! His fingers spread across the denim on my legs. Go go go!

But then he pushed. I leaned back to see his face, find an explanation, but his eyes were still closed as he pushed me off of his lap. Helped me swing my leg back over. Kept his hands on my thighs until they were planted back on the couch and closed. Firmly. Then they left me, and I felt their absence like a knife to the heart.

“I… wow, okay.” It’s the best I could manage to formulate, but my brain was running in overdrive.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen.” He rubbed his palms, the ones that were just holding me, over his knees then leaned forward and dropped his forehead into them.

Okay, maybe he just thinks we were moving too fast!

“Josh, it’s okay. I want this! We can just kiss, I’ll stay over here and you stay there and-“

It was so quiet, but it stopped my words on my tongue and slammed my lips shut.

“I can’t.”

Okay. Okay. Okay.

It’s because Sam’s my best friend.

It’s because I’m too young.

He thinks I’m still a kid.

Like his kid sister.

Fuck!

Anger rolled through me. “Why? Is it Sam?”

He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to me. Looked at me, finally.

“No, I-“

“Am I too young for you? You’re not that much older, Josh and we’ve known eachother forever, it’s not that big of a de-“

“It’s not that, Tiny.” His eyes closed again.

“Don’t call me that!” He’d offended me, I was o-ffen-ded. “I’m not a little fucking kid!” Okay, I was pissed! I was a grown ass woman!

(I wasn’t.)

Both of his hands reached forward and he pulled mine towards him. Held them there. Opened his eyes. Was he gonna cry? Why are his eyes wet?! Shit, am I crying?

“It’s not you, T. It’s me.” Oh please. “I- well, I um, I like someone else.”

Back to angry! “What?! Then why the hell were you kissing me?!” What a scoundrel, what a snake, what an asshole!

“It’s not like that-“

“What the fuck is it like?!” I didn’t normally curse much at that age, but when I tell you I was mad? Hurt? Embarrassed? I couldn’t stop it from happening.

Shit, his eyes were definitely wet.

“It’s a guy.”

He whispered it, and it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t seductive. It was sad. Scared. Defeated. I snatched my hands out of his.

There was a long silence. Uncomfortable. He stared at his empty hands and we processed.

“What did you say?” His posture shrank, like he was trying to disappear. “Josh, it’s okay. Talk to me.” It was my turn to take his hands. I held them in mine and squeezed once.

“I’m so sorry, I- I just don’t like you. Like that.” His eyes found their way back to my face, “I really like him.” They went wide and I’m pretty sure mine did too. He seemed shocked that he’d said it out loud, right before panic spread across his features again.

“Please don’t say anything, T. I haven’t- no one knows that. No one. Please.”

“No, I would never Josh, I swear. I just… why were you, ya know, kissing me?” Touching me, pulling me in. He pulled his hands away from me this time.

“I just wanted to feel normal. I wanted them to think I was normal.”

I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around him and held on tight.

“You are.” Normal and beautiful and perfect. And not mine. A heavy sigh slipped from between my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

He stayed silent, so I did too. I kept my arms around him for a few minutes before finally letting them slip free, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades.

“I guess I should go… Are you okay?” Look, I was not okay, but it didn’t seem like that was important anymore.

“Aren’t you gonna stay downstairs tonight?”

Definitely not. “No, I think I should go home…” Probably won’t show my face over here for a goooood long time.

“Let me walk with you.”

I did. He walked on the other side of my bike while I walked it by the handlebars. When we reached my driveway, I left the bike propped against the side of the garage and turned to him. And just like in my dreams, he moved close and pecked a kiss into my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms.

“I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, ya know?” His voice was soft and low, his breath tickling my ear. It should’ve been a literal dream come true.

A half step back and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. “It’s really fine. I’m sorry for…” Humiliating us both? “Everything.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I mean it,” he emphasized when I shook my head. “Just… please don’t say anything. Even to Sam. Especially to Sam. I’m gonna tell them all when I’m ready, I think.”

Huge, massive sigh. “I won’t. I promise.”

And I never did. Not really.

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: Under Lock and Key

@callivich invited me to share behind-the-scenes commentary from a fic. I hope you dig this deep dive into Under Lock and Key!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote it in 2021. I posted a chapter a week, and I was actually writing those chapters each week as I went along. 15 weeks of their life = 15 weeks of my life.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I have general non-specific angst about college. It feels like an earworm, a time in my life where so many things were unfulfilled or unresolved. So many roads not taken. I needed to write something to put those thoughts to rest.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? I alternated Ian's and Mickey's POV, because I love seeing both of their sides. That also helps increase the tension, because you can leave one person's thoughts on hold while you go see what the other person is doing.

What was your favorite scene to write? Any of the scenes in chapters 5-8, the simmering time before they actually get together. I love to write their push and pull.

How did you come up with the title? Because hair metal rules.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? The story started as a college radio station, where Mickey was a shock jock and Ian was a new volunteer. It would be told via journals that Ian wrote for one of his classes.

I wrote a couple of Ian's journal entries, but nothing was gelling. Once I changed the setting to the lost keys office, the story took off.

Initial ideas, original opening, the day I decided to switch the setting.

Oh, by the way, I usually handwrite everything.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? This is the sweetest story I had ever written. I had always tried to write compelling plots before, things with adventure and intrigue. For this one, I wanted no villains, hardly any angst, just two people falling in love.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? So, so many.

The original chapters from the radio station.

That night after the mid-semester party, I had about 5,000 more words of them making their way back to Ian's dorm.

I had more descriptions of Mickey being completely into the Chicago music scene.

I outlined an epilogue from 10 years in the future.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? I do have that epilogue outlined. Not sure if it'll ever see the light of day!

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? There aren't references to my other stories. I had only published one fic before that. But, man oh man, are there references to my college experience.

The lost keys office was the most fascinating place on my campus. It lived in the basement of the next dorm over. I never needed it, but many people I knew did.

Mickey is based on my friend Sam, who I spent late nights with in the architecture building. He hated every guy I had a crush on and wasn't afraid to tell me. We climbed on yellow steel-beam sculptures, stole signage from the parking garage, scaled buildings and sat in windowsills, talked about music, and harassed each other endlessly. It was one of those "lightning in a bottle" friendships.

Trey Kanahele is based on Gordon, who lost his keys so many times, usually while in the shower. He made it a point to walk across campus in his towel, with his long black hair flowing.

Hannah is based on Leslie, the coolest girl I met in Moore Hall my freshman year.

"Charlotte" and "Clemson" were my top two picks for colleges.

Dr. Neal is based on my current friend Jayme, who is a forensic nursing professor and takes her students to Africa in the summers.

The bulletin board, the grounds of the school, the fire drills in your pajamas, the dining hall, the crazy late-night games, the challenges of registering for classes, the meetings with advisors … all of it is plucked from experience.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity? This one has the most hits of any of my stories. I'm surprised that it's the one that people keep coming back to. I've written a bunch more since then, but this one has staying power.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? I'm nervous to post everything. Even now.

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote? No, I'm stubbornly beta-less.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? I make my own merch for the stories I write. Here's me in actual college and me today re-imagining college through a Gallavich lens.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

And hey, if there's another story of mine you want to hear about, I can share more!

[fandomgirlz01]

Love Uncovered Pt. 5

Colby Brock x Reader

Prompt?: No

Request?: Yes

Requested prompt?: No

Edited: Yes

Word count: 4,737

Ko-fi

Master List

Warnings Here

You can listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}. 

Post Date: October 5th 2023

Post Time: 11:54pm

Author's note: I will be changing this chapter up a bit more from the video. The last few chapters have stuck pretty closely to the videos, but this one might be changing up just a bit for me to fit it into the story. I will also be attempting to talk about aura stuff again, but I’ve never studied that stuff or anything so you guys who do, please just bear with me and if I say something incorrect please please please educate me on it. I will never ever pass up if you guys tell me something is wrong in what I’ve written, I will simply just try my best to go back and fix it. So please just bear with me and enjoy the story. 

Based off of this video:

Y/n’s Pov:

After a few minutes, Amanda is the first to move as she takes a step back and the rest of us look up. Sam stands behind me as Colby stands off to the side with the camera on us. Amanda steps back a little ways from us as Stas moves next to Sam now. 

“I just put protection over y/n, Stas and Kat. Nothing is allowed to touch you, nothing is allowed to come near you,” she promises us as she explains to the camera what she’d just done before pausing. 

“You might see things-” Amanda starts again before Stas speaks up, cutting her off as one of the bells makes a small chime sound. 

“Dude it’s just- I can’t. That freaked me out,” Stas comments as she reaches out to the bell. 

“That I can’t stop,” Amanda finishes as Sam holds up another bell. 

“Someone’s gotta go upstairs and put some up there,” he comments, holding a bell out. 

“I’ll do it,” Amanda adds as she reaches for the bell from Sam. 

“Someone’s gotta help you, though,” Sam tells her and everyone looks around for a moment. 

“I mean he’s got a point. You can’t do the entire upstairs alone. I’ll come with you,” Colby speaks up as he reaches out to grab some bells from Sam. 

“What about y/n?” Sam asks as he hands him the bells. 

“I can go with them. Just have to stay with Colby,” I inform and Colby turns, smiling at me. 

“That’s a good idea, babe,” Colby agrees with me and I smile softly at him. 

“Ok. Then let’s go,” Amanda agrees before heading towards the stairs. 

Colby looks at me as if questioning if I’m ready and I hesitantly nod. He smiles softly at me before grabbing my hand and I give him a confused look. He keeps a calm smile on his face as he gently puts my hand on his back, right next to his back belt loop. 

I smile in understanding as I loop my finger through the loop. He grins this time before leaning back a bit to kiss my cheek. 

“Come on. Let’s go babe,” he comments as he starts to walk and I smile softly before following him in the direction Amanda had gone. 

We meet up with her next to the stairs and she goes up a few of them as we stop at the bottom. She turns to us, holding her bell out. 

“We've got the duty of going upstairs,” Colby comments humorously and he smiles. 

“How did we get so lucky?” Amanda jokes back, making both me and Colby laugh. 

“I know. The most haunted spot,” Colby comments back and I feel a shiver go down my neck as we start the rest of the way up the stairs.

We make it up the stairs and decide to split up and go separate ways. Colby and I go and hang some on one side of the upstairs as Amanda goes the other way. Once we’re done, Colby checks in on me and smiles once I tell him I’m doing ok. 

When he knows I’m fine, we decide to meet up with Amanda in the middle. We walk up to her as she hangs her last bell on the door handle on the outside of the small hall to the birthing room. 

“There’s something in that back room,” she informs us as we come up next to her.

“I just watched it,” she finishes as she continues to tie the string to the door. 

Once she’s done, she stands straight and walks back into the room. Colby and I follow her as she grabs another bell from the bed. 

“I haven’t told Stas yet or you, y/n, I told you guys before we even came here when I was giving you a low down on the spirits,” she explains to us while playing with the string in her hand as she looks at Colby, who gives a small ‘yeah,’ in conformation. 

“They disguise themselves as children and pets,” Amanda continues explaining and Colby agrees, repeating ‘that they disguise themselves,’ in awe as he remembers what she’d said. 

“That’s why she goes ‘I just saw the little boy,’ and I let her know that was not a-” Amanda explains but pauses and Colby interjects. 

“That was not a little boy,” Colby adds in shock and Amanda closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again. 

“Was not a little boy,” she repeats in confirmation of what Colby said. 

“So when we first came there were two children I told you about, right?” she asks and Colby nods as she takes a step back, beginning to play with the string in her hand. 

“Right. Right. They were happy, right? They were like, trying to like, play games?” Colby asks for confirmation and Amanda gets happy as she explains farther. 

“Yeah. One of them was shy. The little girl was shy, but the boy, he kept like, peeking his head around the corner like…” she describes as she motions what she’s trying to explain. 

“Like, are you gonna come chase me?” she continues to explain and Colby nods in agreement, giving a very audible ‘yeah.’

“So I think it’s insane that when the negative thing came through it disguised himself as a little boy,” Amanda tells us with an expression full of awe. 

“And Stas, as scared as she was, would feel more comfortable with it because I told her about the little boy here,” Amanda explains as she points to herself. 

“Manda?” I ask, moving around Colby and hugging on his arm. 

“Yeah? What’s up, y/n?” she asks me, giving Colby and I a small smile.

“Do you think Stas’s little boy could be the one taking interest in me?” I ask and she gasps as her face lights up. 

“That’s a very real possibility. Did you feel sick or anything when she said she’d seen him?” she asks and I take a moment to think it over. 

“Well, now that you mention it, no, but me and Colby were connected then. He was cuddled up to me behind the camera,” I explain and she nods vigorously. 

“I think you might have a point. It could have been him trying to get to you,” she agrees, nodding. 

“The little girl could possibly have been the lady that was pointing at you earlier too,” she explains and my face falls. 

“So he can change forms, great,” I roll my eyes and Colby rubs my arm lightly. 

“I’m right here. He can’t hurt you while I’m here and Amanda put a protection over you, but I get it if you want to leave. I’ll take you home right now,” Colby tells me but I sigh, shaking my head. 

“No. You’re right. He can’t hurt me. I’ll be okay,” I promise him with a nod and he smiles softly. 

“Okay, but at any point if you want to leave, just tell me,” he informs me and I nod. 

“I promise I will,” I tell him softly before reaching up on my tip-toes to leave a kiss on his cheek. 

“Ok. Let’s finish putting these up, then we can go back to the rest of the group,” Amanda comments before moving away to start hanging the last few bells. 

We hang a few more and I stay with Colby the whole time. He walks over to the closet and pulls it open. 

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as he looks into it. 

“What?” Me and Amanda ask in unison. 

“This closet is huge. It goes like, all the way around. It’s like a secret crawl space area,” Colby says in shock as he looks into the deep closet. 

“This house has-” Amanda starts, but pauses to listen. “Did you hear that in there?” she asks after a moment, making Colby turn around. 

“No. What was that? I missed it,” Colby comments before going quiet so we can all listen. 

“Can you hear the walking?” Amanda asks as she looks up at us and I nod while Colby gives out a very audible ’yeah’. 

“That’s the exact room that when we walked up here I told you something was back there,” Amanda tells us in amazement and I shiver lightly. 

“I don’t like that…” I speak out and Colby nods before reaching down for my hand. 

He squeezes my hand softly as we all stay quiet for a moment. When we clearly can’t hear the sound anymore, Colby stands straight and starts to look around again. I follow him over to the bedside table and together we look at what’s on it. 

“They got a bunch of things that little kids would like to play with here, too. Like toy cars, jellybeans?” Colby comments as he lets go of my hand for a moment to pick the car up before smacking the pack of jelly beans. The car then starts to roll back off the table, but Colby quickly catches it before setting it back down. 

“Babe. Don’t do that, what if the spirits like, get mad at you for messing with their stuff,” I lightly admonish him as I slap his arm and he chuckles. 

“It’s not like I took them. Just gave them a small little tap,” he replies and I shake my head, rolling my eyes. 

“Oh, put the car on the ground,” Amanda speaks up as she turns to us. 

“Ok,” Colby agrees as he picks it back up and together we both turn around. 

“Let’s find out,” Colby comments as he steps back to watch it with the camera. 

We watch the car for a moment but nothing happens, so Colby bends down and scoops it up off the floor with a quick ‘alright,’. He walks back over to the table and sets it back down before turning to me and offering his hand. Colby, Amanda, and I start walking though towards the stairs. 

“Woah. Woah. Wait. Amanda, do you mind talking about some more details about ghosts real quick?” he asks and she smiles, nodding. 

“Of course,” she sweetly answers and Colby grins. 

“Sweet. Ok, ah… sweetheart, do you mind holding the camera for me?” Colby asks and I smile softly at him before nodding and holding my hand out to him. 

“Thanks, babe,” he tells me after handing it off to me and kissing my cheek. 

“Ok… the number one question people wanna know is like, what do these spirits or entities or demons whatever you see look like?” Colby asks her as he claps his hands together. 

“Are they happy, are they expressionless, is it as clear as, like, a person that you're seeing?” Colby asks, using his hands to animate his words. 

“It doesn’t look like a person, but it’ll be as clear as like, if you were just standing there dressed in all black,” she explains, motioning with her head where she means.

“I grew up with a spirit in my home and I-” she starts to say before pausing and turning along with Colby when there’s a thump in the back of the room.

We all pause and listen for a moment. The sound soon becomes distinct and we can tell it’s the others of our group. 

“Oh god, they're coming upstairs,” Colby breathes out in relief as we hear their distinctive footsteps and voices now. 

“Geez, we’re literally talking about demons and that happens, not down,” Amanda comments as Colby lets out a big puff of air. 

“The demon I grew up with in my house… looks like a person most of the time. He was much, much taller, much, much thinner and he had red eyes,” Amanda continues to explain just as Sam walks into the room and she looks over at him. 

“I saw a spirit when I was with you and you asked me to describe it,” Amanda adds on and Colby nods as Sam walks farther into the room. 

“Yeah. At the Lizzy Borden house,” he clarifies as he nods and so does she. 

“It was extremely tall, probably seven feet tall, very, very thin. Like unhumanly thin,” she tells us before pausing to look at Sam. 

“Are we ready to head to the seance room?” Sam asks and we all nod. 

“Here. I can take the camera and set it up,” Sam tells me as he comes over and takes it from me. 

He then walks back over to the stairs and starts to head down so he can set it up. I walk over to Colby and he smiles softly at me as he reaches his hand out to me. I grin and grab onto his hand. He gently pulls me along as we follow the others back down the stairs. 

Once we’re in the seance room, we all sit down and Colby sits down first, gently pulling me onto his lap for a moment and cuddles me. 

“You doing okay?” he mumbles into my ear as he leaves a light kiss on my neck. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’ve been absolutely fine the whole time you’ve been with me,” I whisper back to him and I feel him smile against my neck. 

“Good. I love you,” he mumbles back and I smile, squeezing his hand that sits on my stomach. 

“I love you, too, nugget. Always,” I reply and he nuzzles into my shoulder. 

“Okay. I think we’re ready. Enough canoodling, you two,” Sam jokes as he playfully rolls his eyes, making Colby and I laugh. 

“Okay. Okay. Can we please get this started?” Stas asks and Colby groans. 

“Fine,” Colby groans out as he lets go of me so I can get off his lap. 

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll be right here next to you the whole time. Wanna hold hands?” I ask as I take the spot right next to him and hold my hand out to him. 

“How well do you know me? Of course I wanna hold hands,” Colby quips as he grabs my hand and I giggle as we hide them behind ourselves. 

Kat laughs as she sits down next to me on my left and Stas sits to her left and they grab each other's hands. Sam sits down to Colby’s right and Amanda sits in the chair to the right of Sam with her headphones in her hand along with a notebook. 

“Okay, are we ready to start?” Sam asks and we all nod. 

“Okay, then. We are in the seance room,” Sam explains for the camera, “Where Ed Lorraine Warren performed a seance on Carolyn and she literally levitated.”

“She is going to wear noise canceling headphones on a spirit box,” Sam points to Amanda before pointing to his own ear. “Basically letting us know whatever she hears. We’re gonna be asking questions, kinda as we were saying we have ping pong balls, bells all over the place, the entire house.”

“Upstairs as well,” Colby adds, pointing up before grabbing my hand behind our backs again. 

“So if we hear anything happening, we’ll be able to catch it,” Sam continues while Colby rubs my hand a bit and I have to hold myself back from cuddling more into him. 

“Starting this recording, see if we catch any evps,” Sam states as he holds the device he’s using out for the camera to see before he sets it on the ground. 

“It just said Borden,” Amanda speaks just as Sam sits back. 

“Borden?” Colby questions, his eyes widening ever so slightly as Sam quickly looks at him with his hand over his lips. 

“We just said that they were very similar cases,” Sam comments in shock as he looks at Colby, who agrees. 

“Okay. We’re going to turn on this other spirit box, put it right here just in case we get things on it as well,” Sam explains to the camera as he holds the device up and out to the camera. 

“Okay. Should we start asking questions?” Colby asks Sam, who nods. 

“Yeah, let’s start,” Colby agrees and Sam nods. 

“Okay. Ah, is there any spirit here that wants to talk to us?” Sam asks out into the air and we all stay quiet as we wait. 

Colby turns and looks up at a corner behind me. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine. We stay quiet for a little more and I push the feeling of cuddling up to his side away. 

“Can you please, like move something?” Sam again asks into the air and it’s quiet for a moment. 

“Not Colby,” Amanda almost yells out as Sam looks at Colby, shocked. 

“Isn’t that silly?” Sam asks as he points at the device on the floor. 

“Kill,” comes an ominous voice from the device and Colby’s mouth falls open, as does mine. He turns to the camera before looking at me. 

“Wait… Wait… Wait. Did that just say what I think it did?” I ask and Colby slowly nods to confirm my question. 

“Are you a bad spirit?” Sam asks and it goes quiet again. 

“Kill Colby?” Colby questions and I shake my head. 

“That’s what it sounded like…” I tell him as I tighten my hold on his hand. 

“All only here,” Amanda speaks and we all listen as carefully as we can. 

“Is there anything here that can give us a sign at all? We have bells around this entire house. If you can, just make them ring. We want to talk to you,” Colby calls out and we all pause. 

Some time passes and it just stays quiet. I continue to keep Colby’s hand tightly gripped in mine.

“I don’t like this…” I whisper into his ear and he nods in agreement. 

“It’s okay. I’m right here,” Colby replies back as he rubs my hand and it again goes quiet for a while. 

“There’s someone here with us,” Amanda informs us as Sam sets the device he had in his hand down on the ground. 

“Can you make yourself known if you're here with us?” Sam questions and then there’s a faint shuffle sound. 

Colby looks up in shock, first he looks at me, then he turns to Sam, who looks back at him with the same amount of shock. Katrina holds the phone, but after giving me a look she leans back a bit and lays the phone on her thigh. She grabs my hand and holds it like she holds Stas’s. She squeezes my hand and it helps my worry only slightly. 

“Woah, what was that?” Colby asks as he looks at Sam again. 

“There was a huge crack,” Sam comments as he and Colby turn away from looking at each other. 

“It sounded like a shuffle almost,” Colby comments. “Was that you that just made that noise?” he goes on to ask and I squeeze his hand again. 

“Yes,” comes Amanda’s voice and Colby jumps. 

“Yes?” Sam asks Amanda and she nods at him as Stas lets out an “oh,” while bringing her hand up to her lips. 

“Can you make a noise closer to us? We’d love for you to come sit with us,” Sam asks the spirit, making us give each other worried looks. Amanda shakes her head no and rubs her chest. 

“Um… no… no,” Kat tells him, shaking her head at him. “Sam, we can’t do that,” Kat continues to tell him while still shaking her head and he just lightly grins. 

“Sam, let’s not do that, unless you want to switch spots with me right now,” Stas informs him in a very matter of fact tone and suddenly the sick feeling I’ve had throughout the day comes back. 

“Y/n is literally shaking after that, Sam, no,” Kat sternly comments as both her and Colby rub my hands. 

“I’m okay. Just had a small bout of that sick feeling,” I inform them and Colby shakes his head. 

“Sam, I second not inviting the spirit. If it’s gonna affect y/n, we don’t do it,” Colby sternly agrees with Kat and I shake my head. 

“Colby. Hon, I’m okay. Honestly,” I inform him, squeezing his hand for more reassurance. 

“Yo, is my chest red?” Amanda cuts in to ask as she scratches at her chest. “It felt like something just scratched me,” Amanda tells us.

“No. It doesn’t look red,” Kat replies, shaking her head. 

“Ok. That scratch just felt like something is mad,” Amanda adds in and the chill of sickness comes back ever so slightly, but goes away as quickly.

“We know you’re in this room with us. Can you show yourself?” Colby asks as he rubs at his chin with his other hand and both Kat and I quickly look at him. 

“Babe, why are you asking it to show itself? No,” I tell him, shaking my head before it goes quiet again and Colby lightly rubs my lower back.

“I’m here,” Amanda calls out and the sick feeling comes back for the millionth time, except this time it stays even though Colby still holds my hand. 

“He’s here,” Amanda continues to say what she hears. 

“Who’s here?” I ask, looking at Colby and growing a little more scared as the sick feeling slowly intensifies.

Colby shrugs as it goes quiet and stays that way. After a while of nothing coming through, Sam decides to switch places with Amanda. Colby picks up the device Sam had put on the ground, then scoots down to the end of the couch and I scoot after him.

“Alright, Sam’s trying this now. Do we have somebody-” Colby starts as he looks around, but the voice from the device cuts him off. 

“News,” the device’s voice speaks out and Colby turns back to look at the device in his hand. 

“News?” Colby repeats it in confusion. 

“News?” Stas asks and Colby repeats it, nodding. 

“Did you have any news for us?” Stas asks softly and Colby scratches his forehead. 

“Is there news that you want to tell us?” Colby asks. 

“No, there was a hanging in the barn. A noose,” Amanda cuts in and another chill runs down my back.

“Noose. Interesting," Colby comments as Stas hums. The sick feeling continues to get worse and worse, but for some reason I can’t get any words out. 

“Just ask,” Sam speaks as he holds a hand over his right earphone. 

“Were you the person that got hung here?” Stas asks as I try to open my mouth and talk, but my tongue feels heavy and my mouth just won’t move. 

“Help,” Sam again speaks out what he hears. 

“Are you the spirit that tormented the Perron family?” Amanda asks. “No one ask another question for a moment,” Amanda informs us and we all stay quiet. 

“God,” Sam says out loud and now I try to squeeze Colby’s hand to tell him how I’m feeling, but it’s like I’m just frozen and can’t. 

“Don’t ask anything else. Wait,” Amanda adds in and again everyone is silent. 

“Not here,” Sam again says what he heard. 

“Who are you?” Amanda asks. “Are you the demon that tormented the Perron family?” Amanda again asks, only this time a little more sternly. 

We wait for a few minutes with no response coming from Sam. Finally the sick feeling seems to just wash away and I’m confused. 

“Possible,” Sam says, making me stop to listen and forget about it. “Freedom,” he continues to tell us what he hears. 

“Are you- are you- can you not leave? Are you trapped here?” Amanda asks as she tries to figure it all out. 

“Do you need to escape?” Colby asks as he looks over at Amanda. 

“Modern gate,” Sam says and Amanda seems to get involved more now. 

“Is there-” Amanda starts to ask, but then Sam says, “Limits,” repeating what he hears. 

“Is there some kind of gate or limit and reason you're not allowed to leave this home?” Amanda continues her question and we all pause. 

“Though,” Colby reads the word on his device out loud. 

“Are you trying-” Colby starts to ask something, but gets cut off by Sam saying “Found me”. 

“I was literally just about to say I feel like we connected-” Amanda starts, but Sam cuts her off again with “Coat.” 

“There was a guy right over here,” Amanda explains as she points over to her left. “He looks like a soldier.”

“Really? Like the story of the seven soldiers?” Colby asks as Stas hums. 

“He looks like one of the three that I saw walking outside. He’s in like, like-” Amanda tries to explain, but Sam cuts her off with a “Believe.” 

“Believe?” Colby questions as Amanda gives a look of confusion. 

“He’s in light colored clothes,” Amanda explains with a look of worry. 

“Hello, Protect,” Sam again says now and we all look at each other with even more confusion. 

“Why would he say protect? Protect what?” I finally find my words again and Colby squeezes my hand. 

“I don’t know, but I was literally about to say, he wants to talk to us,” Amanda adds as we all look at each other. 

“Focus,” Sam speaks out again. 

“We need to believe and focus more?” Colby guesses as he sighs, rubbing his face. 

“Do you remember the Perron family?” Colby asks and it goes quiet for another moment as Colby sits with his hand on his closed eye. 

“Be with me,” Sam says what he’d heard and again the sick feeling creeps up. 

“We’re here?” Colby says, confused before it falls silent again for a good while. 

“Underground,” Sam eventually speaks out. 

“Underground…” Colby repeats under his breath. 

“Basement,” Colby adds in realization. 

“Do you wanna-” Amanda starts to ask, but Sam cuts her off, saying “Stuck.” 

“Are you stuck in the basement? Do you want us to go down in the basement?” Amanda asks, but again there’s no response as we wait a while. 

“Please,” Sam finally speaks up. 

“What’s in the basement?” Amanda asks and after she does, there’s a knock that sounds off. 

“Heaven,” Sam says and soon it goes quiet again. 

We wait about a minute before Sam pulls the headphones off and gives Colby an incredulous look. 

“Whoa,” Colby comments as he lets out a breath. 

“What happened?” Sam asks after he sees Colby’s reaction. 

“We think there’s a soldier here that is just saying that he wants us to be with him and like that he’s been trying to escape this sort of hell and find heaven, but he can’t,” Colby explains and Sam nods understandably. 

“Also when we said, like, ‘do you want us to go to the basement’, you said please,” Stas chimes in and helps explain what happened to Sam. 

“I wrote down some things. I wrote ‘not ever out’ and ‘protect’. Those are the things that stuck out most,” Amanda informs Sam as she clicks her pen and reads over the words. 

“It was really difficult to hear when you guys weren’t asking questions,” Sam informs us as he looks away for a moment then back. 

“Yeah, when we were all quiet, we just tried to be quiet for a couple times, you would never say anything,” Colby explains as he points at Sam. 

“Weird!” Sam explains as his eyes widen. 

“Yeah! That- that’s weird,” Stas agrees in a shocked tone. 

“I didn’t even think about that,” Amanda adds into the conversation. 

“True… yeah,” Kat says, nodding and smiling a little. 

“What the f***?” Sam questions in astonishment. 

“Anyone else wanna try to see what we’ll get?” Sam asks as he looks between all of us. 

“I think I will,” Colby speaks up and he goes to get up after Sam nods. 

“Colby. I don’t know. Something feels off,” I tell him as I hold onto his arm. 

“It’ll be okay, babe, I’m sure it’s just nerves,” Colby replies before he leaves a kiss on my cheek. 

I sigh, shaking my head as he gets up, switching places with Sam. As soon as he leaves, the sick feeling comes crashing down on me tenfold. I try to call out to tell them, but like before my tongue feels like dead weight in my mouth. I watch helplessly as he sits there with the headphones over his ears and Sam holds the device. Tears form in my water line, but for some reason I can’t actually shed any. 

To Be Continued….

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[fandomtherapy44]

Castiel x reader Chapter 16

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel x reader

word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Guns

AN/ Hey Ya'll so I did notice that it's been a month since I've updated this series sorry for that. This is the longest I've written in a while so that's part of the reason why it took so long. Anywho hope you enjoy especially Cas's and Y/n Renion.

Chapter 16: Good God Ya'll

POV: Y/n “Alright, it looks like you can go home.” The doctor said while putting her supplies away. “Great thanks doc.” She stops and seems to peer into my soul. “You know I have never seen a heart attack like yours I mean you're twenty-four, fit, don’t smoke it just doesn’t make sense.” Yeah I know but it's not like I can tell her that Angels exist and that they all pretty much hate me. “Uh yeah crazy.” I walked to the door. “You must have a guardian Angel.”  She jokily said. Oh, you have no idea.

I stepped into Bobby’s doorway to his room he was in his wheelchair just staring out the window. “Hey, what did the Doc say?” Sam asked me. “All good thanks to Cas.” Speaking of him where the Hell is he. Dean comes to us carrying an envelope. “It's been like three days now?” Sam and I both sighed. “We got to cheer him up. Maybe I'll give him a backrub.” “Dean” Again Sam and I both said. “Look...we might have to wrap our heads around the idea that Bobby might not just bounce back this time.” I mean he’s right this kind of news you don't just get drunk and forget about it.

“What's in the envelope?” I nod at the paper. “Went to radiology.” He pulls out the X-ray. “Got some glamour shots.” It was his ribs and it had Enochian engraved in his bones. “Is that why I feel like I have the worst heartburn ever.” I pointed to the picture. “Yup, curtsy of Cas apparently no demon or Angel can find us” Okay does not mean him too? Then Sam’s phone rings. “Hello? ...Castiel?” CASTIEL! “Speak of the devil.” “Ah, St. Martin's Hospital. Why? What are you—Cas?” Cas had hung up on Sam. And the Angel walks up to us. “Castiel…” I just got lost in my thoughts staring at him.

“Y/n I'm glad to see that you're doing well.” That’s it! He must have something on his mind. “Cell phone, Cas? Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?” Dean questioned. “You're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply—” He tried to explain. “Enough foreplay.” Bobby announced from his chair. “Get over here and lay your damn hands on.” “I can't.” What? “Say again?” He spun in his chair.

“I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't.” What about me then? “You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?” I can see Castiel is sad that he can’t help. “I'm sorry.” “Shove it up your ass.” I feel terrible for Cas and Bobby.”At least he's talking now.” Dean commented to Sam and me. “I heard that.” “I don't have much time. We need to talk.” Cas directed to Dean. “Okay.” “Your plan to kill Lucifer.” “Yeah. You want to help?” “No. It's foolish. It can't be done.” Cas does really not have any fucks to give.

“Oh. Thanks for the support.” “But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse.” We are wondering who he’s talking about. “Who's that?” “The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God.” Okay God right I mean why not. “I'm gonna find God.”

Dean closes the door so people don’t think we're insane. “God?” “Yes.” “God.” “Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere.” Cas sounded so sure. “Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla.” Dean said and poor sweet Cas did not get the joke. “No, he's not on any flatbread.” “Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory—” “He is out there, Dean.” “—or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us.” Cas just glares.

“I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally—at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?” “Enough. This is not a theological issue. It's strategic. With God's help, we can win.” he really believes. “It's a pipe dream, Cas.” Cas gets very close to Dean. “I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.” Damn, I don't think I've ever seen Cas like that before.

“You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole. What is it you want?” Bobby voiced. “I did come for something. An amulet.” A necklace? “An amulet? What kind?” “Very rare. Very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find him.” “A God EMF?” Sam questioned. “Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I got nothing like that.” Bobby shrugged his shoulders. “I know. You don't.” Cas turns to Dean. He looks down at Dean’s necklace. “What, this?” “May I borrow it?” Cas asked politely.

“No.” “Dean. Give it to me.” Dean is silent, he looks at me and I nod my head. “All right, I guess.” He takes it off. And hestionly gives it to Cas. “Don't lose it. Great. Now I feel naked.” Cas now has the necklace. “I'll be in touch.” He goes to walk out of the room. “CAS wait up!” 

He is very quick on his feet I guess having wings would help with that. I caught up to him and grabbed his wrist to pull him into a room ironically it was the chapel. We just stood staring at each other a little. I couldn't believe that he was here. I finally shake out of my trance-like state. And go to hug him tight like he would disappear in my fingers. And he does the same. “Cas were you really …. Dead?” I say right next to his ear. An answer came that I never hoped to hear.

“Yes.” A tear slips down my cheek and I squeeze him harder. We let go of each other slowly. We sat down on the pews. “So do you really think God will help us?” “I'm here aren't I” I sigh and process everything. “Ok, we will get God’s help then.” “Y/n do you really believe in this plan?” He wasn't just asking as a tactic to win this war but as my friend.

“I believe in you Cas yes God brought you back but you are the one who is fighting actively with us so no matter what remember that.” “Thank you Y/n, I must go start the search.” “Ok but now that you can’t just pop in where I am please use your phone that I gave you for that very reason” I finish with a smile. He gives me one back and files off.

When I was gone Rufus had called Bobby sounding really in trouble and something about Demons. We drove up to this bridge in Colorado and it looked like a tornado had walked through. “This is the only road in or out.” Great. “Looks like we're going to put those scout skills that we never learned to use boys. Let’s Go!” I grabbed my pack and gun and we were off.

We walked into the town slowly and lets just that tornado had walked over and full on ran through. Cars flipped over store doors open … blood in lots of places. Sprilikers on for hours. I had been in haunted places before but I have never felt a chill in my body like this. We are checking out this car when we hear a gun cuck and we turn around. It’s Ellen.

“Ellen hey!” I go to hug her but she raises the gun to my face. Dean gets in between us. “That’s far enough.” “Ellen, what the heck's going on here?” And in response, she throws holy water at Dean. I have to hold back my snicker. “We're us.” He says annoyed, whipping off his face. We walked to a church where the survivors of whatever happened held up. When Ellen knew we were safe she threw herself onto me first for a hug. When she hugged Dean and she pulled back she slapped him.

“You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind the only one to call is Y/n. I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?” Dean seems surprised by her care. “Sorry, Ellen.” “Yeah, you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid.” “Yes, ma'am.” All of us go to the church basement and theirs a demon trap in front. “What's going on, Ellen?” I ask. “More than I can handle alone.” “How many demons are there?” Sam asks in almost bewilderment. “Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys.” Holy shit Demons are having super bowl parties.

“So, this is it, right? End times? It's got to be.” Ellen states. “Seems like it.” Sam replies back. Ellen knocks on the door and the makeshift peephole cover gets moved. “It's me.” Someone opens the door and we're let in, the people in here look like they've been through… war. They all look normal and one of them is pregnant. Peachy just peachy.

“This is Sam and Dean, Y/n. They're hunters. Here to help.” A guy who looks like he's the most confident out at of everyone comes up to us. “You guys hip to this whole demon thing?” “We have some experience.” I answered laughing inside. There was another man in glasses sitting at the table who looked especially like he had seen something. “My wife's eyes turned black. She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal.” Yeah, I would too.

“All right, catch us up.” Dean told Ellen. “I doubt I know much more than you. Rufus called. Said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Me and Jo were nearby—” What? Now that’s a surprise. The last time I knew she would rather have Jo be a Barmaid than a hunter! “You're hunting with Jo?” “Yeah, for a while now. We got here, and the place—well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then me and Jo got separated. I was out looking when I found you.” Well, that’s great.

“Don’t worry Ellen we’ll find her” I touched her arm in a comforting way. She gave me a small smile in return. “Either way, these people cannot just sit here” Sam said looking at everyone. Especially the pregnant woman. “We got to get them out now.” “No, it's not that easy. I've been trying. We already made a run for it once.” “So we just reverse the plan-” Ellen stopped me. “Sweetie we used to have twenty.” My eyes widened. “Well, there's four of us now—” Dean tried again.

“You don't know what it's like out there. Demons are everywhere. We won't be able to cover everybody.” “What if we get everyone guns?” Sam suggested. “Sam you want to give walking nursery over there one she won’t make it five feet without going into early labor.” I said to him hoping to slap some sense into him. “More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away.” Of course, it didn’t work when did my brothers ever listen to me!? “Fine everyone but her I'll carry two guns” I could tell Sam was ashamed but he was right, unfortunately. Dean broke our tension.

“There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in. I bet they got guns.” “All right. You stay. We'll go.” Sam said to Ellen. “What about—” I pulled Ellen into a hug. “Ellen if she’s out there I promise to bring her back.” She had tears in her eyes but kept them back to be strong. “Thank you Y/n.” I squeezed her arms and followed my brothers. 

We stop outside the door well Dean stopped us. “Why don't we just go?” Dean directed to Sam about him and I. “What? Just you and N/n?” Sam clapped back. “Well, yeah. Somebody's got to stay here and start giving them Shotgun 101.” “Yeah. Ellen.” Sam starts to go but Dean stops him again. “No no no. It's gonna go a lot faster if you stay and help, okay?” “While you and Y/n split up to go get guns and salt and look for Jo and Rufus? That's stupid.” “Dean We’ll be okay.” “Thanks N/n.” But Dean was stubborn. “You don't want me going out there.” Sam realized. “I didn't say that.” “Around demons.” “I didn't say that.” “Fine, then let's go.” Sam stopped upstairs and Dean gave me an uneasy look.

Dean and I had gone to go look for Guns while Sam was getting salt. “Ok come on let me have it.” Dean said to me. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” I looked at the shotguns not looking up at him. “Y/n I know you, your silence speaks louder than your words so spit it out.” “Dean, I can't tell you how to feel about this.” “But you're judging me.” “No, I'm not.” I put the bag of guns on the table and filled it. I could tell he was still thinking that.

“Dean I think you're feelings about this whole demon blood situation is right but Sam deserves our sympathy with him.” “But he!-” “I know what he did I was there. But he’s our brother and I am going to choose to believe that he can handle this and if he can’t then I'll be with him every step of the way.” I stopped to take a breath. “I hope you choose that too.” I picked up the bag and walked out.

We went to the store to check on sam and when walked in the scene was not good. Sam was bent over a body looking at the blood dripping off the blade like it was liquid drugs. “Sammy?” He drops the knife. 

The basement air had grown stronger with tension more and more the longer we were stuck down here and now seeing Sammy Dean was on edge. Teaching everyone shotgunning quickly is harder than it sounds. “Miss, can you show me?” It was the pregnant woman. “Mahm what’s your name?” “Caddy.” “Caddy, do you know the gender and name?” she smiled looking down at her bump, and that right there I knew I wouldn't be able to live if I let her out there. “A girl and her name will be Andra”

“That’s a beautiful name and Andra is the reason why I can't let you go out there.” She looked shocked. “But I can fight.” “I know you can Caddy but if you got hurt then you may never know your kid and I won't allow that.” She sat down tears in her eyes. “I'll fight for you double-fisting it so don’t worry the demons will get it no matter what.” I tried to add a little humor to it. “Thank you.” “Don’t mention it.”

“I'll be back.” I overheard Ellen say. I got straight up. “Where are you going?” “I can't sit here on my ass. My daughter's out there somewhere. I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here.” Before I can say anything Sam speaks up. “No, wait. I'll go with you.” “Whoa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?”  My two brothers walked out. And I could hear the arguing. Suddenly the door pops open. Dean is up against the wall and Sam is holding him there. “If you actually think I—” Sam was getting emotional and they were talking about the demon blood.

With Sam and Ellen gone the pastor was reciting prayers like crazy. And Dean was thinking, walking back and forth. Someone pounds on the door Dean goes to open it and there is Ellen. “Ellen, what happened Where's Sam?” I asked, seeing her state telling me that she had taken a punch. She doesn't answer me and just sits down.

“They took him? Demons took him? Oh my god. What if they're in here? The demons?” Caddy got very worried. “Caddy don't worry they can't get past that door.” I pointed. Dean grabbed a shotgun and was going to leave. “Everybody sit tight. I got to—” He glanced back at everyone and saw their faces and knew he couldn't leave them like this. “Okay, we need to get a plan together. Tell me everything.” He sat down and tells the pastor and he gave me a nod of his head like, don’t worry.

“Guys, one of them's in Jo. We got to get it out without hurting her.” Well, now it's personal. Ellen snorts, laughing at something. “It called me a bitch.” “Ok no offense Ellen but I've been called worse because I took the last hot dog at seven eleven,” I responded. “No, that's not what I meant. It called me a black-eyed bitch.” Dean and I hear and either these demons are looking in mirrors or something fishy is going on.

“What kind of demons are these? Holy water and salt roll right off. My daughter may be an idiot, but she's not stupid. She wears an anti-possession charm. It's all kind of weird, right?” Ellen commented putting the pieces together. “The whole thing's off.” Dean finished. “What's your instinct?” Mine would be call Cas but I know he’s trying to look for God or whatever. “My instinct? My instinct is to call Bobby and ask for help. Or Sam.”

“Well, tough. All you got's me and N/n, and all we got's you. So let's figure it out.” “You know I agree with Ellen Dean.” “All right.” “Ellen do you know why Rufus came was there a specific sign or?” I asked. “He said something about water. That's all I know.” Water? “Padré, you know what she's talking about—the water?” Dean asked the pastor. “The river. Ran polluted all of a sudden. Last Wednesday. And the demon thing started up the next day.” Interesting. “Anything else anything at all?” “Maybe, but it's pretty random.” “Trust me Austin in this life nothing is random.” he takes in my own words. “Shooting star—does that count?”

The three of us look at each other in knowing. “Real big. Same night. Wednesday.” “That definitely counts.” Dean goes over to the bookshelf and grabs one of the many Bibles. And flips through the pages till he finds the right one. “"And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died."” I leaned down on the table thinking about it.

“I don’t know about you guys but that sounds like a giant ass warning sign of the apocalypse.” “Y/n’s right.” Dean agreed with me. “And these specific omens, they're prelude to what?” “The Four Horsemen.” The pastor responded. “And which one rides the red horse?” Dean questioned. “War.” war!? War. “Dean that sweet ride that was parked on main street the red Mustang.” I pointed out and he shook his head in agreeance. “If War is a dude and he's here, maybe he's messing with our heads.” “Turning us on each other.” Ellen concluded. “You said Jo called you a black-eyed bitch. They think we're demons, we think they're demons. What if there are no demons at all and we're all just killing each other?” I asked everyone in general to everyone. 

“So now you're saying that there are no demons and war is a guy.” Austin vocalized and he was right, our lives sound like they were ripped from a cheesy early two thousand TV show. “You believed crazy before.” Dean voiced back. Then there was another slamming on the door. It was Roger which is weird because I don't remember leaving.  “I saw them, the demons. They know we're trying to leave. They said they're gonna pick us off one by one.” “Wait wait wait. What?” Dean proclaimed our thoughts.

“I thought you said there were no demons.” “Austin there's not, okay.” I told him. “I thought someone should go out and see what's going on!” Oh come on! If I did not know about the supernatural world I would be pissing my pants right now! “They're gonna kill us unless we kill them first!” Roger responded in panic. “Guys please hold on!” “No, we got people to protect. All right, the able-bodied go hunt some demons.” Austin said straight back at me. He grabbed the shotguns.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Slow your roll. This is not a demon thing.” Dean tried to stop him.  Out of t the corner of my eye, I see Roger twist a ring on his finger. Fuck it's him. “Look at their eyes! They're demons!” He pointed at us and I'm sure we looked like demons. Caddy gasps. No no! “Caddy!-” But before I could get another word out Dean pulls me out of the room and a gunshot almost hits us.

“Okay this is plan you and Ellen get Jo and I'll get Rufus.” Dean whispered to us. We nodded and went to them.Ellen sets off the bomb. Jo walks a little close to window and Ellen grabs her and pins her to the wall. Of course she tries to fight. “Now you listen up, Joanna Beth Harvelle.” Ellen pulled the full name card. “Jo its us!” “Get off of me bitches!” “Jo if we were demons we would have disaboled you by now!” I try to reason. She listens. “N/n?” “Yes!” 

Now both of them didn’t want to kill us we could talk. “We all on the same page?” Ellen asked. Rufus and Dean nod. “Good.” “Hi, Jo.” “Hey.” Ok sensing tension between these two I'll pin that for later. “Okay, we got to find War before everybody in this town kills each—” Gunshots. Everyone ducks. “Damn it! Where's Sam?” Dean yells. “Upstairs.” I let him go, I had a feeling that Caddy needed help. They have the horseman and I have the people.

Ellen and I tried to sneak out to the battlefield but it was pretty hard with bullets flying through the air. “Caddy! Caddy, you have to get out of here!” “No, you're a demon!” “Caddy if I was a demon I would want you out here!” she was going to say something else but I saw a person behind her holding a handgun.

“CADDY!” I push her out of the way and a bullet goes into my arm and I'm pushed back on the ground by the force. I don’t even have time to look at my wound before the guy gets on top of me with a knife. He’s about to stab me in the heart but I catch his wrists before he can slam down. I'm slowly losing strength and the knife is slowly going down. I’m sorry guys, Cas.

The blade is about to go in my chest when the guy stops. “What the fuck!!” He gets off. “Yeah me too dude.” I breathe deeply. “Y/n! Are you okay?” CAddy asked me. “Nothing a little dirt won’t fix.” I simled to hide my pain. “You saved me.” “It was nothing.” She pulls me into a hug. “Yes, it was.” 

It feels surreal to be at such a wonderful beautiful place when the day was so ugly and stressful. I was sitting at the picnic table with my brothers twirling the ring in my hands. “So, pit stop at Mount Doom?” Dean broke the silence. “Dean—” “Sam, let's not.” “No, listen. This is important. I know you don't trust me.” Dean looks away and I nudge him to bring him back. “Just, now I realized something. I don't trust me either.” We both look at him.

“From the minute I saw that blood, only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really. I mean, I, what I did, I can't blame the blood or Ruby or...anything. The problem's me. How far I'll go. There's something in me that...scares the hell out of me, Dean Y/n. In the last couple of days, I caught another glimpse…” “So what are you saying?”

“I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways.” I think he's right if he needs time. “Well, I think you're right.” Dean responded and Sam and I were both surprised. “I was expecting a fight.” “Me too.” “The truth is I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. And I just, I can't afford that, you know? Not now.” I feel like Dean is still avoiding his feelings but that's up to him. “I'm sorry, Dean.” “I know you are, Sam.”

“So Y/n which one of us do you want to go with. I thought for a minute and then I came back with an answer. “I think a little separation will be good for us all to sort through our own feelings without anyone else's opinion mixing in our own.” I want Dean to really think by himself. “Where will you go?” They both ask me. “With Ellen and Jo if they are okay with that.” Sam stands up and hugs me. “But you better still call me that threat could still happen.” I tease. “You too Dean.” “Yeah, I know my little sister can kick my ass.” He said as he hugged me. 

Jo and Ellen are packing up a truck. “Hey, N/n came to say goodbye?” Ellen asked. “Um actually the opposite and I totally understand if you don't want to but I was wondering if you had space for an extra hunter for a while.” Ellen throws me a pack in response. “Well come on we just got word on a possible vamp nest in Texas.” Jo smiles and we get in the truck. I roll down the window and just hope that this time apart will bring us together. 

AN/ Hope you all enjoyed and don't worry the siblings will be back together soon enough. See you Ya'll next time Xoxo Gossip Girl:)

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance (Chapter 12)

Word count: 30.2k (I know...)

Pairings: Sam x OC, Jake x Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

A/N: This chapter has to be broken into two parts thanks to Tumblr's character limits. I know this is a long one, but I hope you can stick with it until the end and then read part two! I promise this will be the only one that is this long. We will go back to our regular sized chapters next week. Enjoy!

STRANGE HORIZONS: CHICAGO

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

HER POV

You

10:40am: Good morning! The interview with 95.5 is at 12:30, so let’s meet in the lobby at 11:45.

Sam

10:41am: I’ll be there.

Josh

10:45am: Got it

Daniel

10:46am: Thanks

Nothing. Nothing from Jake. Not that you expected it. It had been a week of silence, from both of you really. Keeping true to your word you had kept things strictly professional. Only addressing him in the group text, and only about work. You and Jake hadn’t physically spoken since that night, and you didn’t know if you ever would. You had essentially left him again. You weren’t sure he would ever forgive you. You hoped he understood the position you were in, but every time you’d seen him since, it wasn’t understanding written across his face. It was pain. Hurt. Rejection. 

But you felt it too. It was just the same for you. Having to choose your career over your personal life, but unfortunately love didn’t pay your rent. You loved this job, sure, but you also needed this job. The worst part was that you needed Jake too, but you knew you couldn’t have both. 

So this is how it was now. Silence. You both knew that it was all or nothing, and you finally reached that nothing point. It was crippling. Thankfully the last few days had been filled with travel and meetings, so there was very little down time to be lost in your feelings. But almost like your saving grace, Elle was back, and you finally had someone you felt like you could confide in. Although you couldn’t help but feel bad knowing that you and Sam had continued seeing each other while he was very obviously talking to her again. Was she okay with it? Did she even know? You knew you would have alone time with her today during the interview, and finding Sam to ask him was at the top of your priority list. 

You spent much of the next hour primping yourself nervously in the bathroom mirror. It had been like this every time you stepped out of the room lately. Doing your best to hide the dark circles and puffy eyes making a permanent home on your face. Each night you spent alone in the dark hotel bed, crying yourself to sleep seemed worse than the last. You hoped it would get easier, but it didn’t. And spending every single day near him made it worse. Seeing him just as torn up as you were was killing you. Both of you.

Giving yourself one last glance in the mirror, you grabbed your purse and your iPad, closing the hotel room door behind you. You made your way to the lobby, meeting up with Josh and Daniel. Checking the time on your phone you waited anxiously for the others to come down, and slowly they did. First Summer, followed by Elle and Sam, and finally Jake. He looked exhausted, fresh out of the shower, dark sunglasses covering his eyes that were probably just as sunken in as yours were. Not that you would know, since he wouldn’t look at you. 

As everyone assembled together, you turned to face them, hoping they took no notice of your less than normal appearance. “Okay, the van is outside waiting for us, so we can head that way.” you said, letting Josh lead the way.

You watched as they all followed, Jake walking with his hands in his pockets and head turned towards the ground. You could tell he had been living in his head the past few days, and it was all your fault. God, why does it hurt so bad to do the right thing?

Sam and Elle pass by, and you nod your head to Sam to pull him away discreetly as you walk with them. He pulls back a bit, giving you a little distance from Elle, “What’s up, how are you doing?” he asks, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Not good Sammy, just one foot at a time, I guess. Hey, have you…talked to Elle…about…” you trail off into a whisper.

“Not yet…everything is just so good, you know? I’m nervous about it…I know I need to.” he says, full of anxiety.

“Sam, you have to tell her. I am going to be spending a lot of time with her now…tell her. Please.” you beg.

“Okay. I will. Are you taking care of yourself?” he asks, with a raised eyebrow.

“Probably not like I should be.” you answered.

“We talked about this…” he whispers.

“I know…I’m trying.” you reply.

“Okay. I’m just glad you’re still here.” he says, walking faster to catch up with Elle. 

“You know I wouldn’t leave you guys, no matter how bad it hurts.” you say.

“It doesn’t have to, Y/N. You’ve made it this way.” he says, ending the conversation as he throws his arm around Elle’s shoulders.

And he was right. You did make it this way. But you didn’t see any other way it could be. 

—

The drive to the radio station wasn’t too long, in reality it should have only taken 10 minutes, but with traffic, it was closer to 25. You sat next to the window, as usual, Sam on your right side, deep in conversation with Elle. 

Thinking back, you felt like you should have known it was Elle all along. The way his smile would light up when his phone would ring, the not so sneaky texts…It was right in front of you but you were too caught up with Jake to notice. You were happy it was her, you missed her these last few years, feeling like that relationship got stripped away from you too in the aftermath of everything back then.

She tried to reach out to you a few times after you left, but you knew that you couldn’t tell her anything without it getting back to the guys. She was loyal to a fault, and you felt it was better if she didn’t know anything at all. When she stepped out of the bathroom that morning you were stunned. You thought maybe your sleepless night on the floor had made you totally delusional, but it hadn’t. It was her, in the flesh. 

The only words you could speak were her name, over and over as she rushed over to you, full of happiness and hugs, like no time had passed at all. Sam was positively beaming, and it suddenly became clear why he had been so distant the past few weeks. 

“Y/N, I can’t believe it’s you! You’re…you’re real and you’re here!” she cheered.

“She had a bit of a rough night, she was just coming to talk about it and make sure I was awake.” Sam said.

“I am so happy to see you Elle, you have no idea. I do need to go make sure the other guys are up so I’m gonna run, but you and I are gonna catch up okay?” you said.

She pulled you in for another hug, almost teary as she spoke, “You promise? I’ll see you soon?” she asked.

“I promise.” you smiled, and with that you stepped away and walked out the door. 

She was truly the ray of sunshine in your life during such a dark and stormy time, and you hoped your fling with Sam wouldn’t ruin the friendship you so desperately wanted to rebuild with her. 

As the van pulled to a stop outside the radio station offices, the guys began to step out, leaving you to get out last, thanking the driver.

“Okay…” you said checking your schedule, “...Floor 7, office 176.” you said, ushering them all inside. 

You rode the elevator up, and it was completely silent, everyone feeling like they needed to walk on eggshells around you and Jake. You felt bad for interfering with their normal dynamic, but this just further proved your point that this was exactly why that clause in the contract existed.

Walking down the long hallway you found the correct office, letting the guys make their introductions and converse with the host of the show. Their time slot was an hour long, and you had emails to catch up on, so once they were settled you excused yourself to the lobby to get a little bit of work in. Elle followed you out, pulling her phone from her purse. 

“I think there is a Starbucks downstairs…I’m gonna get a coffee, do you want one?” she asked.

Your eyes met hers, and you smiled, happy to be met with such a friendly face, “Please. Just plain black, nothing crazy. Thank you so much.”

“Be right back!” she called over her shoulder, leaving you in the empty hallway. You glanced around spotting a couch and decided to park yourself there, opening your emails. The first one, flagged as urgent, was from Allison.

Allison: FWD: RAIN SHOW

Y/N,

I’m sure you have your eye on the weather, but just in case… I don’t remember us going over rain show procedures.  I will attach the document to this email for reference. Make sure you inform the tech crew that you will be running rain show format, even if it looks like it may not storm. Better to be prepared. 

PS: You’re killin’ it! I have heard nothing but great things. Told you, you could do this. 

Allison Harper

Senior Production Coordinator

Collective Artist Management

ATT:RainshowPro.PDF

You opened the document, reading over the special procedures and precautions taken for a rain show, making sure to send it to all of the technicians and crew so they could get a head start on the set up. You hadn’t really thought about the weather, living with your own personal rain cloud over your head, but thankfully Allison had your back. If she only knew…

A few minutes later Elle was bounding down the hallway, with two coffees in her hands. 

“Look at you…” she smiled. “Who knew all those years ago you’d be here running the show for them.”

“Not me, that’s for sure!” you laughed, accepting the warm white cup.

“How did all of this happen anyways? Sam gave me the bare minimum details of course.” she said, shaking her head.

“Well, my senior year I applied for an internship and I got it. Had to move to Nashville and everything. I started the internship at Collective Artist Management in January or February, then a few months later I had to work a label release event and wouldn’t you know Josh was there. I swear I never thought I would see him again. I thought I was hallucinating. We got to talking and he invited me out for drinks. After that I guess he called Collective and requested me to work on this tour for them. At first I tried every single thing I could think of to get out of it. Things between Jake and I were left…well… you know. So the thought of working with him everyday was daunting. I was not ready to deal with all of that.” you paused.

“But I wanted it. I wanted this job, it’s what I worked towards for years. I couldn’t say no. I even put off telling them all until the absolute last minute. Sam and Danny didn’t find out until the day before we left for the first show. I figured everything would be okay, I mean, Jake was with Sophia…” you said as she cut you off.

“Oh my god you met her?” she asked, shocked.

“Yeah, kind of, it wasn’t the best interaction…” you answer.

“Her and Jake had only just started dating when Sam and I ended things…I didn’t get to know her too well, but there was… something off about her…” Elle said, staring off into space.

“Well…she was…cheating on Jake… that could have been it.” you said, with mock laughter.

“What?!” she said, nearly spilling her coffee.

“Did Sam tell you anything?” you ask, laughing.

“Apparently not!” she replies.

“Well, Sam and I caught her out at a bar one night. She was all over some guy. We watched them leave together and everything. We decided to tell Jake the next day. After a massive fight in front of us, he ended things on the spot.” you say, replaying the memory in your head.

“Shit…So then you two got together…” she asks.

“Well, no…” you say as she sends you a puzzled look.

“Y/N…Sam has told me almost nothing about what is going on with you and Jake.  I’ve been back for all of about five minutes and even I can see that man still loves you. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but when you’re ready I’m here.” she offers.

“It’s… a lot, things were starting to get better between us, but… now they’re bad again. Worst they’ve ever been. We both want to be with each other, but my contract forbids it. He wants me to ignore it, but I can’t. So, I walked away from him, again. I just can’t lose this job, Elle.”

“But you can lose Jake?” she asks.

You swallow harshly, as you hear the words spoken aloud. “I…I don’t know what other option I have.”

“This job isn’t forever Y/N, but Jake is. You can find another job, but you’ll never find another man who loves you like he does.” she says, placing her hand on your arm, her touch comforting you much in the same way Sam’s does. They truly were one in the same.

“I feel like my hands are tied. I can’t quit, they are right in the middle of the tour. And I can’t breach my contract, or they will fire me and I'll have no job.” you say.

“How would they know? Are they here?” she asks.

“Well, no, but…” you start.

“Okay then.” she says, raising her eyebrow challengingly.

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking over her words. It was true, there wasn’t anyone here to see what went on. 

“I don’t know Elle…” you whine.

“You love him, right?” she asks, as you sheepishly nod your head in response.

“Okay. So you do know.” she smiles.

“I hurt him pretty bad. He won't even look at me.” you whisper.

“Do you want him to?” she asks with a smirk, sipping her coffee.

You sigh, picking at your nails. “Yeah. I just… want to know what he’s thinking. I’m scared I pushed him too far. That he’s written me off.” you confess.

She looks at you, laughing softly “Your name is the only one he ever wanted to write…” she says, her southern accent adding a little sweetness to her words.

You send her a desperate look, just as the door to the studio opened. You quickly collect yourself, and stand up to meet the guys as they step out into the hallway.

“We…. are ready for a beer…can we do that?” Josh asks.

You smile, “Oh, we’ve got time for that.”

—

You stand at the bartop watching as the bartender fills the frosted glasses to the brim, placing them on the counter one by one. The guys each step up grabbing the foamy glasses before taking off back to the outdoor patio. Sam and Elle linger with you as you wait to open the tab, sliding the card across the wet bartop.

“Keep it open please! Thank you!” you smile, the bartender nodding and accepting the card.

You grab your glass and walk with them back to the group, eyes cast downward. You had been actively avoiding joining them in activities like this, knowing that you would have no choice but to talk to Jake. As you approached the guys Elle spotted a cornhole board and squealed. 

“Oh! Sam! Can we play?!” she asked excitedly, dragging him over to the wooden boards.

Suddenly feeling like a third wheel, you decide to let them enjoy some time alone together as you make your way over to where the rest of the guys were sitting. 

“There she is…” Josh says, motioning you over to their table. The three of them were lounging in the cloud covered sun, talking over their beers, enjoying the afternoon off. 

As you went to sit down, Jake stood up, grabbing his empty glass and heading back inside. You couldn’t help but feel like your presence was unwanted, and your face showed it. 

Josh, noticing the awkward feeling in the air, stood to join him, “Actually, I’m gonna grab another one too, be right back.” 

You turn your attention to Daniel, who is reading a text on his phone, and even through his sunglasses you can see the crease in his brow. 

You place your hand on his shoulder, “You okay?” you ask.

He breathes heavily out of his nose, locking his phone and setting it on the table as he crosses his leg over his knee. “Honestly? No.” he answers.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” you ask.

He looks over his shoulder, seeing who was around as you see him relax into his seat. “I just…I haven’t seen Heidi in weeks. She promised she was going to come to this show tomorrow, and now… something has come up and she can't make it. An emergency or something. I have been looking forward to it for weeks.” he said, focusing on the condensation on his glass, dragging his finger through the wet droplets.

“But I was just looking at Instagram and she is posting about hanging out with her friends… Just seems like maybe she didn’t really want to come and has been lying about wanting to be here the whole time.” he says.

“Oh gosh Danny… I…I don’t know what to say. I mean, the two of you have been together for a really long time. Surely she wouldn’t lie to you?” you say.

“I don’t know. Things have been… different lately. I’m different…well, feeling different. I feel like I am starting to come into my own, you know? It just feels like we are growing apart, or whatever. I know that sounds cliche…” he laughs nervously. 

“No, I totally get that. Sometimes a little distance can help you see things clearer.” you offer.

“I just…I’m really proud of this music we are making, and I wanted her to see it in action… I don’t know. I’m just disappointed. I feel like everyone has someone here for them, except me.” he says, defeatedly.

Hearing the sadness in his voice made you really consider how lucky you were to be here to see them play each show. Watching them, encouraging them and helping them bring their dreams to reality. 

“Danny! I’m here for you! What do you mean?!” you ask.

A soft giggle leaves his chest, “Not like that Y/N, like… Sam has Elle, Jake has you, Josh has… well, himself.” he laughs. 

You pick at your nails as you let his words sink in, ‘Jake has you…’ But he doesn’t. You don’t have each other at all.

“Jake doesn’t have me Danny. I think I…messed everything up again. We can hardly be in the same room together…You saw.” you said, gesturing to the bar.

He nods his head, “I have… noticed a bit. But I know him Y/N, and he is just licking his wounds. He’s hurt and confused…You know, I’m sure you feel the same way.” he says.

“It’s different when you’re the one that always does the hurting. When you’re the one that has to watch them break, and beg you not to go. Then having to spend every day with him, seeing him like this… I’m just trying to do the right thing and do my job. Is it hard to do that right now? Yes. Do I wish I could just run away? Yeah. But I don’t have a choice. I have to stay. I have to see this through. I’m hurting just as bad as he is, but I am feeling like no one really wants me around, because then Jake is in a bad mood. I lose either way.” you say.

He nods his head, “Well, you know I always want you around. You’re my friend too, not just my coordinator.”

“I know, I know, you’re my friend too Danny, and I am really sorry about Heidi. I hope you two can find some common ground. Hate to see this pretty face looking so sad.” you say, mockingly pinching his cheeks.

“Maybe… I just… feel like I am ready for a change. Whatever that may be.” he smiles. “Enough sappy shit, you want another beer?” he asks, holding up your empty glass.

You smile and shake your head, “Alright, just one more.”

—

A few hours later you’re standing in the full length mirror of your hotel room, pulling the zipper up on your dress. Sam had insisted on the restaurant tonight, claiming it was the ‘best food in Chicago’, even though he’s only been twice. It was an overly nice place at the top of a skyscraper. The mere thought of being 95 stories in the air made you nauseous, but you’d do it for him. Sam practically cried when you told him you were able to book reservations last week, and he has been talking about it since you left Bridgeport.

Happy with your appearance you smooth out the cobalt blue fabric across your waist, and toss your waves over your shoulder. Grabbing your purse you made your way downstairs, of course being the first one there. You sat nervously in the lobby waiting for the rest of them to show up, wondering what their version of cocktail attire would consist of.

One by one they made their way down, each of them looking more dapper than the previous one. You could hardly tell that they had been living out of a suitcase for the past two weeks. When Sam and Elle stepped out of the elevator the smile on your face grew tenfold. 

“Well don’t you just look gorgeous…” Elle said, pulling you in for a hug.

You blush at her compliment as you hug her, locking eyes with Sam standing behind her, watching as he nods his head in agreement.

“I’m just trying to keep up with you! You always look…perfect!” you say letting her twirl back into Sam’s arms. 

As the smiles and laughter began to trail off the elevator opened and the once happy feeling in your body turned to shock. Out stepped Jake, hands in his pockets, sunglasses resting on his nose, and clothed in what had to be the most gorgeous custom linen suit you’d ever seen. 

Off white in color, in a relaxed fit, that hit him in just the right places, he was breathtakingly handsome. Your eyes frantically combed him over, taking in the way his tanned skin looked against the light fabric, the contrast of his partially buttoned black shirt underneath the coat, the way his hair fell onto the lapels of the jacket in perfect brown waves…You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. You didn’t want to.

His eyes met yours, and you’re sure you felt your heart stop. He hadn’t looked at you all day, and you wondered if he was doing the same thing you were, taking in every inch.  You wondered if he felt the same way too.

You quickly blinked looking away from him, but Sam saw you, tossing you a knowing smirk. You cut your eyes at him as you turned to lead the way to the Uber waiting for you outside. 

—

The ride up the elevator was long. Ninety-five floors long. All of you crammed into one small elevator, with nothing but the sound of the classical music pumping through the tiny blown out speaker overhead. You couldn’t see him, but you could smell him. That cologne, the one he knew you liked, wafting through the enclosed space and right into your nose. You swallowed harshly as you tried to push down the memory of his lips on yours just a few days ago and the way you smelled that cologne on your skin for the rest of the night.

The doors opened and you all stepped out, heading to the host stand and giving her the name on the reservation. You were led to a long skinny table covered in white cloth and shining silver cutlery. You hesitated taking a seat, wanting to sit as far as possible from Jake, but as the seats filled you were left with the worst possible options. Summer sat at the far end of the table next to Daniel and across from Josh. Sam and Elle took the other end of the table, leaving the two seats in the middle for you and Jake.

Taking the seat directly across from him you knew this was going to be a long night. How were you supposed to not look at him? Especially when he looked like that?

You placed your purse over the back of the chair, and immediately grabbed for the drink menu in front of you, just as Jake reached for it too. His eyes met yours just for a second before he retreated, letting you take the menu first, but not without muttering something under his breath. 

Your heart was pounding in your chest, just from the small interaction and you quickly glanced over the menu, selecting a drink and placing the menu back on the table, for Jake. You told yourself this would not be a repeat of last time, opting for something a little less strong this time around. 

Elle sat next to you, and thankfully she immediately struck up a conversation about the show tomorrow, grabbing the attention of the others. You sat back in your chair and took a deep breath, as you impatiently waited for the waiter to take the drink orders. He finally made his way to you, and you sent him off with a shy smile. 

As the conversation started up again you let your eyes travel to him, and you watched him as he spoke, perfect and precise, every word spoken with intention. He always was a listener, only speaking when he felt he had something important to add. You liked that about him. You spun your rings around on your fingers, fidgeting nervously as you suddenly felt out of place, not wanting to interject yourself in conversations, and not really being in a position to start your own. 

The waiter appeared with everyone’s drinks, saving you from your own awkward feelings. You began sipping on the lilac colored drink, feeling the alcohol begin to swirl through your bloodstream. Hopefully this will take the edge off. You peeked over to Jake, who still hadn’t looked at you since the drink menu moment, and watched him as he sipped his bourbon from the glass. The way he held the glass with his thumb and middle finger, casually bringing it to his lips as he listened to Josh talk, causing your heart to lurch in your chest.

You turned your attention to Elle, listening to her speak as you rested your head on your balled up fist. She was reminiscing on a memory from a few years ago, talking about one of the shows she went to with them overseas. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of what it would have been like if you never left. You would have been there. Been part of this memory.

A quiet sigh left your lips as you sat back and stared down at your drink that was doing the bare minimum as far as taking the edge off. You let your mind wander as you watched the ice float around in the glass in front of you, twirling the straw around absentmindedly as you listened to all the chatter around you.

Jake readjusting in his chair snapped you from your daydreams, his eyes catching yours for just a second before looking down to his own glass, tossing back the rest of the amber liquid. 

Then you felt it. His knee gently brushing yours under the table. Both of you looked at each other in panic. 

He scoffed, clearly annoyed that it happened, but before you could say anything, his attention was turned back to Josh.

JAKE POV

Fuck.

As you sat watching Josh’s mouth move, you heard nothing. Your mind was filled with only thoughts of her and the way even the briefest touch of her knee had you spinning out. You could feel her eyes on you, begging you to look at her. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You wanted her to know how it felt to be rejected. To feel unwanted. 

However, that was about the furthest from the truth. You spent every day of the last week completely consumed with thoughts of her. Thoughts of that night. Wondering what you could have done differently. What you could have said, that would have made her stay. 

You’d been cold, and harsh, leaving every room she walked into. Never looking her way, never speaking to her, even actively ignoring her a few times, but still doing everything in your power to make sure she noticed you. But it was killing you. You weren’t sure how much longer you could do it. You knew one of you was going to break, and for once, just once, you wanted it to be her. 

From the corner of your eye you saw her reaching for her bag, pulling the buzzing cell phone from inside before placing it to her ear..

“Hello?” she answered.

Sam turned, shooting a look your way in question. You shrugged your shoulders as you listened.

She pulls her phone away from her ear, typing away and zooming in on whatever she is looking at, her brow furrowing at her discovery.

“It’s on the pack out inventory sheet from last week. It should be there.” she says, confused. She shakes her head and closes her eyes as she listens to them speak.

“And they aren't in the gator box we keep in the back of the tech set up?” she asks, shock laced in her tone.

“I swear I saw them in that box in Bridgeport? Maybe check with Jenn, I think she ha–” she stops.

She runs her hand through her hair before resting her forehead into her palm. She pulls the phone away from her ear, seemingly to check the time, before returning it to her ear.

She sighs as she closes her eyes, “Okay…Yeah…I can… I’ll call you when I get there. Okay. Okay, bye.”

She takes a deep breath, placing her phone back into her bag, and pulling it from the chair. 

“Is everything okay?” Josh asks.

“No…I have to go. Something is missing and no one can find it. But I know it was on the inventory sheet from last week.” she says, pushing her chair out to stand. “Just put this on the 6672 card you have okay?” she says to Josh, standing and throwing her purse over her shoulder. 

“Wait no, let me go with you. You shouldn’t go alone. It’s late.” Josh offers, standing up. 

You snap your head over to Josh, sending him daggers with your eyes, “No. Sit down, Josh. She works for us, not the other way around.”

“Right, but she’s also our friend Jacob.”  he says sternly.

“No. Not anymore. She’s our employee. One that is currently not doing her job as she sits here watching us.” you snap.

He sends you a puzzled look, remaining standing.

“Eat first…” Josh offers, looking to her, “I’m sure it can wait just a few minutes…”

“No. I think she should go now. I’m sure there are craft services at the venue. If she remembered to do it.” you say.

“Jake.” Sam snaps, as you throw daggers his way.

“At least call the driver to come pick you up, you can eat while you wait for him.” Josh says. 

You look over to her, and harden your face, delivering your words with venom,  “No. She can take an Uber. It’s not our job to take care of her, she’s a professional. Isn’t that right Y/N?”

“Jake, I don–” Josh starts before you cut him off. 

“Sit the fuck down Josh.” you seethe, before turning to look at her.

“What are you waiting for? Go.” nodding your head to the door. You watch her breath catch in her throat, completely caught off guard by your hostility.

“Jake…” she breathes.

You look away from her, grabbing your drink and taking a sip as you hold it towards the door in suggestion.

The table falls silent, all turning to look at her. Her eyes well with tears that she swallows down, before nodding and turning to leave. You watched her walk through the large wooden doors as you tossed back the entirety of your second drink. That was it. The first words you’ve spoken to her all week and you knew she was never going to speak to you again after that. 

God, her face…

“Are you fucking serious?” Elle spat. 

You turned to face her, crossing your arms across your chest, shrugging your shoulders.

“Goddamn, Jake…” Sam says, completely and rightfully disgusted with you. His eyes are full of hatred as he stares you down. You're positive you’ve never seen him so mad.

“If that’s how you treat her, I wouldn’t want to be with you either!” she says, Sam throwing an arm over her shoulder in agreement.

She runs her hands over her head, “We are in one of the most dangerous cities in America, and you let her leave? Alone? At this hour? For what, Jake? For what reason? To get a point across? I think you made it. She is just doing her job...A job you’re lucky she is even still here to do. You don’t have to make her miserable on top of it.” she seethes, shaking her head in disgust.

It hadn’t even occurred to you that something could happen to her as you sent her away. It took everything in you to not bolt out that door right then and find her. Your mind started to race with possible scenarios, each one worse than the last. 

Turning your attention to the other side of the table, you overhear Summer talking to Danny. 

“What did she mean by that?” she asks.

Fuck.

Daniel, turns to her and whispers, “Nothing you need to worry about.”

She looks at you, cutting her eyes before looking away to talk to Josh.

The waiter arrived with plates of food, setting each dish at their respective seat. Guilt shooting through you as you watch her plate be delivered to the empty space. Suddenly your appetite was gone, disappearing just as quickly as she did. 

She really was just doing her job, and tonight her job was making sure that you had everything you needed to do yours. Even if that meant skipping dinner. She would do that, for you.

You picked at your plate of food, letting Elle’s words bounce around in your head. She was right, you had pushed it too far. The guilt was heavy, crushing down on you harder with each second that passed. A few drinks later you saw the waiter come back to collect plates, hers sitting cold and untouched. 

As he went to pick it up you spoke, “Can that be put in a box?”

“Certainly, I’ll be right back with that for you.” he answered, picking up the plate, and you thanked him with a nod. 

Josh elbowed you gently in the ribs, leaning into your ear, “You’re not a very good actor you know.”

“Not all of us spent our formative years in the theater department.” you quipped with an eyebrow raise.

“You can act like you hate her all you want, but I know you’re going out of your mind worrying about her right this very second.”

“I should have let you go with her. I shouldn’t have said all that. Fuck.” you reply, shaking your head.

“Come to my room when we get back.” he said, raising his pinched pointer and thumb towards his lips in suggestion. You nodded and finished your drink, knowing that Josh was going to pry your feelings out of you with a little bit of weed, whether you liked it or not.

—

The Uber ride back to the hotel was silent. You could feel Sam’s eyes boring holes into the back of your head the entire way. You knew you pissed him off talking to her that way, and as you sat there holding the togo box of food she never got to eat, you didn’t blame him. You were out of line, and you put her at risk. All because you wanted to hurt her. 

Hurt her like she hurt you. 

But as your eyes scanned the streets looking for her on the way back, it wasn’t vindication that you were feeling, it was nausea. What if something did happen to her? You’d never forgive yourself. 

The Uber pulled up at the hotel, letting you all out, and as everyone made their way to the elevator you stopped at the front desk and were greeted by the friendly desk attendant.

“Hi, I was wondering if there was any way I could get this sent up to someone's room?” you ask, setting the bag on the desk.

“Someone in your party?” she asks.

“Oh, yeah. Yes. She’s in room… 917.” you say, thanking yourself for finding out the day you checked in.

“Alright, I will make it happen.” she smiles back at you.

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.” you reply, walking away and heading to the elevator.

You pull your phone from your pocket, seeing a text from Josh.

Josh

10:49pm: You coming? 1006

You

10:54pm: Yeah

You step onto the elevator selecting floor ten, and stare off into space as it begins its climb. The doors open and you step into the hallway, walking the short distance to his room, and rapping your knuckles on the door a few times. 

“Finally, fuck.” he says, swinging the door open. 

“It’s been like five fuckin’ minutes…” you answer stepping inside the room. “Wait, your room has a balcony? Fucking front man treatment.” you say, shaking your head.

He grabs the joint and the lighter he had waiting on the dresser and leads the way to the balcony. The air was thick and dense, you could tell the rain was going to drop at any moment. You sat down in the black metal chair, crossing your leg over your knee. 

You watch as Josh places the joint between his lips, bringing his hand up to light the tip, shielding the wind with his other hand. He inhales, as he lights it, the cherry beginning to glow bright red and the air starting to fill with the familiar aroma. 

He passes it to you, and you hold it to your lips, taking a long drag to fill your lungs. You hand it back to him, and let the smoke billow into the air around you. 

“She’s fine you know…” Josh says, staring out at the cars passing ten stories below.

“How do you know?” you ask.

“Don’t you think someone would have called one of us by now if she wasn’t?” he says.

“Hmmm…” you hum, taking the joint back from him. You take another long inhale, considering his words.

You blow out the smoke with a sigh, “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that shit to her. I know how she’s feeling right now and I did it anyway. I’ve been torturing her all week.” you say, seeing a drop of rain start to fall.

“She kind of deserves it Jake…I mean, come on. How long is she gonna string you along?” he pauses, “She’s got you all fucked up. You’re in a shit mood, and everyone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around the two of you… She needs to either cut you loose, or quit this job and be with you. Those are the options.” 

“I don’t think it’s that fucking simple Josh. She can’t just quit. We’d be fucked. And I don’t think she can ‘cut me loose’ that easily. I know I sure as fuck couldn’t.” You say, a cough leaving your chest. 

Josh passes the dwindling joint back to you, “I’m just saying, I would be pissed if I were you. I’d probably be acting the same way. Her giving and taking every other week is exhausting. I can feel it affecting you, it’s fucking affecting me too. I am just wondering if maybe I was wrong about bringing her on. I figured you two would get back together almost immediately. The whole, ‘don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’ thing…I thought after all this time apart from each other you two would have figured it out by now.”

The fuck?

You stub out the roach in the small plastic ashtray, before turning towards him, “That’s the thing Josh. I did know what I had. I always knew. I never wasted a single second I had with her. I begged her not to go, the first time, and this time. But there was nothing I could do. I had to watch her leave. So yeah, I guess not knowing what you have until it’s gone can hurt, but I think that knowing what you have and watching it walk away from you hurts even worse.” 

“So if that’s how you really feel, why are you trying to hurt her?” he asks.

“I’m not trying to hurt her. I just…” you pause, taking a deep breath,  “Well, I guess maybe I am. I just want her to feel how I feel for once.”

“Do you think the pain she felt of having to leave you, for the second time, wasn’t enough? If not more painful than the first time?” he asks.

You hadn’t considered that. You couldn’t even imagine how bad it must have hurt to say those words again. To leave you standing in that hallway, begging her not to go. 

You drop your head into your hands, “Fuck, man. I don’t know if this is salvageable.” 

“I think it is. I think you just need to tell her one more time, exactly how you feel, in a way no one but her will understand.” he says, standing to walk back into the room.

“How?” you ask, following him inside. 

He throws himself backwards onto his bed, and sighs, “I think you know. It’s been a while…but, I think you know.”

You let out a sigh as you realize what he’s saying. “I…don’t know if I can do it.” you say. 

“I know you can.” he answers.

It’s quiet for a minute as you think about it. 

You lean against the dresser, pushing your hands into your pockets, “You know, that night…after dinner last week…I walked her to her room.” you start.

“Yeah…” he says, sitting up on his elbows.

“She was…gone. I helped her get into bed. It felt so normal…doing that kind of stuff for her.” you paused. “She was out of it, she had no idea what she was saying…she asked me to stay. Lay with her for a while, and…I couldn’t help myself. So I did.”

“Oh shit, you didn’t tell me this…” he says, listening intently.

“We were just laying there in the dark, and all the sudden she asked me to play ‘her song’ for her. I didn’t know which one she meant, but I had a feeling. I just…wanted to hear her say it. She did…she said it makes her cry, Josh. Fucking killed me. So I hummed it for her as she drifted off to sleep next to me. Asked me if I would play it for her one day, and I told her I would. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I had to. So I leaned over and told her I was going…” you paused running a hand through your hair. 

“She told me she loved me.” you finish.

Josh nods his head, “And you left? Did you say it back?” 

You nodded your head, “No, I didn’t say it. And she didn’t remember any of it the next morning anyways.”

“Shit.” he replied.

“So, yeah. I think you’re right. I think we should play it. Tomorrow.” you say.

“Done.” he answers.

“See you in the morning?” you ask, walking towards the door.

“Later.” he replies as you let the door swing shut behind you. 

—

Walking back to your room was hazy, the only clear thing in your mind was her. Did she get there okay? Was she back now? You check the time on your phone. 11:58. Surely she was back by now?

You held the keycard to your door, hearing it unlock and twisting the handle. You stepped inside, the room cold and dark in the midnight hour. You switched on the lamp on the bedside table, and deposited your phone and wallet before stripping down. You plugged in your phone, and climbed right into the bed, ready for the night to be over, but your mind was still racing. 

You opened Instagram, and started flicking through videos, anything to take your mind off of her, and it was a nice temporary reprieve. That is, until you saw a video of a shooting star. You watched as it flew through the dark sky, streaking past the twinkling stars around it, glowing brightly until it finally burned out. It reminded you of that night at the lake. Laying on the picnic table sharing secrets for the first time in years. Finally feeling close to her, after years of distance. 

You hit share on the post, typing her name into the recipient box, and delivering it to her phone. You hoped it would bring back the same memory for her. You typed a quick ‘I’m Sorry’ and sent that along with it.

You watched as the message turned from delivered, to read right before your eyes. You waited for a few minutes to see if a reply would come, but it didn’t.

You

12:20am: You don’t have to forgive me, but can you just tell me if you made it back?

LD

12:24am: I did.

You

12:25am: Thank you

LD

12:28am: It’s not your job to take care of me.

A defeated sigh leaves your chest as you read her text, a stab to your own chest by your own words.

You

12:29am: I’m sorry.

As your message sits on read, you realize she isn’t going to reply, and you place your phone on the nightstand. You turn off the light and roll to your side, hugging a pillow close to your chest. Tomorrow you’d tell her, in the best way you knew how, how much you loved her, and you hoped it would be enough.

NIGHT ONE

SAM POV

You opened your eyes to see Elle’s looking back at you, the glittering of her irises vibrant in the morning sun. She peered up at you from underneath her long lashes, still thick with makeup from the night before. A sweet grin emerged on her face as she scanned over your features quickly, her eyes bouncing around as if she was seeing you for the very first time. 

Her cheeks blushed the prettiest shade of pink when she noticed you taking her in all the same, and her nose scrunched into an expression you could only read as bashfulness. Light freckles peppered her nose, and her dark locks had fallen into the prettiest set of waves from sleeping on her curls. Just from looking at her, you felt your chest become physically warm, your heart flipping into a feeling of tender familiarity swirled with the uncertainty of something new. You knew right then and there that waking up to her every day was becoming one of the best parts of your life. Your sweet Elle had come back to you. 

“Good morning.” She said through an impending yawn. 

“Morning sunshine. How did you sleep?” You responded, her contagious yawn finding you next. 

She rolled over closer to you, placing her hand on your face and brushing stray hairs away. 

“Better than I have in a really long time.” She smiled hard, meeting your gaze with the most sincere softness in her voice. 

There was a true happiness growing inside you, one that you couldn’t explain. Having her back in your life was unexpected, to say the least, but nonetheless truly welcomed. There was something authentic about Elle; she was the kind you just didn’t find very often. There was nothing fake or forced about her. She was selfless, intelligent, and extremely driven. She knew a little something about everything, and she cherished every single person in her life more than she cherished herself. She was a bit hardened, coming from a life that was less than ideal. But she never let it stand in the way of the person she’d become as an adult. She learned from her loved ones’ mistakes, and aimed her life in the exact opposite direction. 

She also knew more about music than even you did, which was one of the biggest things that made you fall for her in the first place. Constantly impressing you with her natural talents and abilities. She never once gave you the feeling that she was just around because of who you were, and what your profession was. She simply liked the person you were, and she never let you forget that. 

You were so much alike that you’d butt heads, her southern Georgia twang coming out to play when you’d argue. You’d never tell her you liked getting her worked up just to hear her talk like that. You’d loved her hard before, and you felt no shame in allowing yourself to feel the same feelings once more, even as quickly as everything seemed to be happening. Not quite love, again. But an enormous sense of pride just being in her presence. She deserved the world. 

But, in the back of your mind, there was a nagging feeling of guilt. You had to tell her about you and Y/N. It wasn’t fair to her to be in the dark about it, especially with how close everyone was. 

You sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard and pulling the covers up over your chest. You prepared yourself for what was sure to be an awkward conversation. 

“Elle, I gotta tell you something.” You finally said, your heart beating in your ears. 

She turned and sat up too, sitting on her knees and facing you. “What’s wrong hun? Everything okay?” She placed a grounding hand on your leg. 

“Yeah. Yes, everything is fine. Well, I hope...” you scratched the back of your head, taking a deep breath. “A while ago, when we found out Y/N lived in Nashville, I was in kind of a weird place mentally. Nothing bad or wrong just, you know…Weird? Anyways, we kind of… Really started to rekindle our friendship, her coming back was such a surprise to all of us, you remember the story.” You readjusted yourself in the bed for the next part.

“Anyways, we umm…We really missed each other. It’d been so many years. We were still practically kids when she disappeared.” 

You brought your eyes to hers. “We…umm. We slept together for a few months, Elle. It never meant anything at all. We had so many conversations about how there were absolutely no feelings involved, it was purely physical. But we…haven’t, in a little while. When you and I started talking again, before you came out here with me, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with you and me...So, I didn’t want you to feel like I...I don’t know. I was lying to you. You deserve to know the truth.”

You were met with a blank and questioning stare, waiting for the tears, the recoil, the yelling…anything. You bit your lip and prepared yourself for the worst. 

She reached her hand out and placed it on your cheek, “Sammy… Thanks for telling me.” she removed her hand, lacing it with yours, “Honestly I’m surprised it took you two into your adult lives before you finally slept together, as much chemistry as you have.”

What?

“Uh, wait really?” You were utterly confused. 

“Yeah! It’s always been really evident to me. You guys were such good friends for so long. It was only a matter of time before you acted on it. Wait, did you think I’d be mad?” she asked.

You were too stunned to speak, words floating around in your head finally coming together, “Yeeaaahhhh, actually. I kind of expected some type of… reaction? You really aren’t upset?” you asked. 

She looked at you sideways, “Uh, no Sam. Why would I be mad? You’re an adult. I wasn’t even here. You and I weren't together or anything... Even now, we’re just...hanging out again. Starting fresh, right? You don’t owe me any explanation of what happened when I left, or even when we first started talking again. We’ve both seen other people in the in-between, so I have absolutely no reason to be upset with you.” She playfully pushed your shoulder. 

God, what a woman. 

“Okay… Great then.” You pushed your hair back, feeling like you’d just had 500 pounds lifted from your shoulders. “I just...wanted to be honest with you. I know we’ve all been around each other a bit and I didn’t want things to be awkward, especially between you and Y/N. You guys used to be really close.” you said.

“Yeah, we did. We went through some shit together. I still love her. It’s so good to have her back, but things seem rough with her. Dinner was bad last night with her and Jake. I still can’t believe he said that to her.” She bit her lip, her mind wandering off in memory. “Did she know you were going to tell me about you two?” she asked. 

“Well, we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it. It’s been so busy... You know how I said that her and Jake are trying to figure things out? It’s been really, really rough on both of them, where she works for us and all. The day she came to my room… in Bridgeport…while you were in the bathroom? She told me her and Jake had a huge fight the night before, and things were bad again. She came looking for some advice. I never got to give her any and judging from how weird things have been between them, and them both honestly looking like shit, I’m guessing things still aren’t good. Anyway, I will tell her that you and I talked today.” you responded, trying to sort everything out in your head. You knew Y/N still needed you. You left her a bit high and dry, but you knew that talk had a time and a place.

—

After talking with Elle, you felt a million times better about the situation. You couldn’t have asked for things to go more smoothly than they did. You did, though, start to feel a little guilty about not trying to talk to Y/N sooner. You knew she was really going through it. Jake, too. It was so unfair for both of them. You began to feel drawn to go to her, your best friend instincts kicking into high gear. You had to make her feel better. And Jake, too, if you could. 

The trip to the venue was just as it always was...packing your gear into the vans, and rushing around to meet Y/N’s timelines. After the normal motions of getting settled, making sure Elle had her passes, and meeting up in the trailer, you were ready for a drink. 

You watched as Y/N did her duties, radioing here and there, delivering setlists, and making sure everything was on time. She looked absolutely wrecked. You tried your best to shoot her reassuring smiles, trying to communicate with your eyes that you knew she still needed to talk, and that you would be here when you both got a chance. She returned your looks with half smiles, her eyes appearing blank and lifeless. 

You popped the top on a seltzer, and walked over to the stage. You climbed the stairs and checked everything out, as you were first to arrive for once. You took another long sip of your drink, tipping it back as you looked up to the sky. It was cloudy, and the wind had just enough kick to it that you knew bad weather might be imminent. You took another sip. 

How can I help them? What can I do? 

Suddenly, a roadie walked by you, pointing up to the heavily clouded sky. “Looks like the weather is going to be wonderful tonight, huh?” He said sarcastically. 

You lifted your can toward him. “Hope it is, Eric!” 

You turned and walked back underneath the awning, heading straight for the piano, to play with Daniel a little bit while you waited for sound check. Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Wonderful Tonight. 

You and Y/N’s song. You could sound check it. Maybe she would remember. Maybe it would make her feel better. You sat on your bench, making adjustments to your sound as you saw Daniel walk onto the stage. You shot him a smile as your fingers came to a stop. 

“Daniel, I need your help…”

—

Jake and Josh finally made their way to the stage, and you began your normal processes of checking sound. You communicated with the engineers to get everything sounding and feeling right, and after a few songs, you felt confident. The pre-show excitement always set in around this point; when you knew the sound was great, but that it would reverberate differently when the venue was filled with thousands of bodies. Getting the perfect sound, the ultimate atmospheric timbre that knocked you off your feet each and every time you heard it...that’s what made all of the work put in for sound check worth it. 

When you finally felt satisfied, you looked to Daniel, giving him a nod. You leaned into your stage mic, and counted down quietly enough that only Daniel would hear.

“3, 2…” 

Your B3 rang out in the perfect gospel-like tone, Danny in perfect time with you. You tried your best to layer the missing sound of the electric guitar on top of your keys, trying to make the song sound as whole and recognizable as you could. The slow and mellow sound of your song became more vibrant the longer you played. 

Jake and Josh turned toward you simultaneously, not fully understanding why you were playing a random song off the top of your heads…together and in perfect time, no less. Josh spoke through your in-ear, “Something new you wanted to try, Sammy?” You smiled toward him, and he laughed under his breath, still unaware of your reasoning. 

Just then, you looked past Jake to find Y/N sneakily walking up and hiding behind an amp, making sense of what was happening. She smiled sweetly at you as she realized. Jake lazily joined in, not being able to resist playing a tune by one of his earliest influences, but having no idea why it was being played. 

Just seeing the look on her face was worth it. For the first time in days, she looked content. All it took was the tiniest bit of joy to find her again for her entire demeanor to change. Her eyes sparkled with relief, and adoration for you. You hoped that this act would speak to her in a way only you, her best friend, could. 

You began to mouth the words to the last chorus to her, singing quietly as the sweet ballad began to come to a close. She peeked at you from her hiding place, eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. She blew you a kiss, and you caught it in your hand, opening your unbuttoned shirt and tucking it away for safekeeping. You may not have her heart, and she may not have yours, but you’d be damned if you didn’t try your best to protect it. Even if it was from your very own brother. 

Evening was drawing near. At the end of sound check, you were on your way back through the narrow corridors of the venue to find Elle in the trailer when you were stopped in your tracks by a blindsiding embrace. Y/N. She held you close and tight, squeezing her arms completely around you. You returned it, the feeling of her hugging you instantly making you feel grounded. You squeezed her back, resting your chin on her head. You knew that she needed this right now…she needed you. You’d been absent from her for too long, and it was time you communicated. 

You brought your arms up and down her back, massaging it lightly and stippling your fingers. You took in the feeling of the curvature of her body, letting your mind wander to relations past, but only for a second. The natural inclination to sink your hand down her lower back and cup her asscheek and thigh was almost too much to ignore, but you knew you had to. You couldn’t do that anymore. 

Her breath was hot through your shirt, her tears soaking through the thin fabric with ease. You could feel her body begin to relax, perhaps an emotion she wasn’t too familiar with lately. Human touch… she was just happy to be in one of the safest places she’s ever known, right here with you. You began to sway as loud music played through the speakers, one of the songs from the band’s special playlist.

She swayed along with you for a minute, letting her entire body crash onto yours at as many points as possible. She stood on her tiptoes, readjusting her arms to now come up around your neck, pressing her face into the crook of yours, and you felt your heart flip. It’s been a while since she’s been this close. You leaned your head down to quickly kiss her temple, then her cheek, then dangerously close to her lips…stop Sam. 

Not anymore. 

You felt tears begin to well in your eyes, too. Her embrace tightened, and you followed suit. The hug was giant, and embodied every single word neither of you needed to say. Her hand found the back of your head, scratching the nape of your neck. You both had tears falling now, a sorrowful feeling blooming in your chest. 

You used to dream of being in this exact position with her. Dream about even getting a sliver of a chance to be with her, and you had gotten it. You fulfilled your boyhood dream. Now the feeling of her skin on yours would be nothing but a memory, tucked away in the back of your brain, never to be thought of again. You bent down again, and placed your mouth to her ear, speaking through cries tormenting your throat.

“You gotta go to him now, babe. It’s time.” You inhaled deeply, wanting to breathe her in one last time. You knew this was going to be it. 

Her chest was heaving with sobs, and you felt your face grow warm with the admission of your final release from the hold she had on you for so many years. You grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away, standing face to face with the woman you used to love, who now held a different place in your heart. She gave you another sweet smile, understanding and accepting the fate that had found you. She nodded through tears, though you were sure she still had a lot of thinking to do in the grand Jake realm. 

“Thank you, Sammy. For the song. It really helped.” She said quietly. 

You gave her a wink, choking back the tears again, “You’re still my best girl.” 

She shook her head, and brought her hands to your face. “I’ll see you, Sammy.”

——

You took a second to collect yourself in the restroom of the venue, a place you knew you wouldn’t run into anyone who would ask about the current state of your flustered look and red, puffy eyes. You splashed cold water onto your face, holding it there and letting it drip out between your fingers. 

The end of an era. 

A short, wild, strange, amazing, and beautiful era. Though you felt sad about whatever it was you had with Y/N being over, you felt the most intense feelings for Elle…wanting to run to her, find her and give her everything she could ever want. 

You also harbored another feeling. You couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but the tension between Y/N and Jake was thick, and it felt like there was nothing you could do to get it through her head that she needed to take a step back. Look at this from the outside. Put her head to the side for once, and listen to her heart. Fuck fear… Had she not listened to anything Josh had preached for the last 10 years? 

You made your way back through the hallways and to the trailer. Everyone had gathered in the common area, giddy with nerves and excitement for the show. You noticed Jake sitting off to the side again, and Y/N running around crazy just like she always did right before a show. You shot her a grin, and she returned it. She and Jake were still avoiding one another, but their passing glances to each other were extremely obvious. 

How can I help?

The sun was beginning to fall behind the quickly moving clouds in the sky, a perfect backdrop for some photos. Aha, an idea. You ran into the trailer, finding Elle perched on the couch, scrolling her phone. She perked up when she saw you. 

“Hey, hun!” She hopped up and ran to you, pulling you in for the sweetest, honey-laced kiss. God, she was so sweet. 

“Hey! Come outside really quick. The weather is perfect for photos.” You ran to your bag, pulling your old film camera from its case and checking the film roll. The two of you exited the trailer, finding that the wind had picked up a bit in just the few seconds you’d been inside. 

“Y/N! Will you come take a photo of me and Elle?” You yelled, pulling her from a task on her iPad. 

She shot a look to you, softening quickly when she saw Elle’s pleading puppy dog eyes. She made her way over, letting you give her a quick rundown on how to snap the perfect photo. You bent down and Elle hopped on your back, wrapping her arms around your neck. She placed a kiss on your cheek, causing you to smile hard. Y/N focused in, and counted to 3. 

“Ok! Now let me take one of you two.” Elle said, taking the camera from you. 

You and Y/N pressed your cheeks closely to one another, squishing the sides of your faces in while you laughed and snorted. That will be a good one. 

“Jake! Get over here! We’re taking pictures.” You yelled to him, disturbing his lonely concentration on nothing. He sulked up from his chair, bringing himself to the group. He went to take the camera from Elle, but she pulled it away from him, instead handing it to you. 

“Oh, actually, will you take one with Y/N?” She asked, stunning him. She had read your mind. 

“Oh, no it’s okay. We don’t want to waste your film.” Y/N said, crossing her arms and trying to walk away. 

“No, no. That’s a good idea.” You said. “Come stand over here by these flower bushes.” You grabbed them both forcefully by the shirts, and dragged them over to stand in front of the beautifully bloomed landscaping. 

They stood awkwardly, looking away from one another and both giving you a ‘get on with it’ look. 

You brought the viewfinder to your eye. “Great, now lean in close. I need you both in the frame.” You motioned for them to squeeze in. 

They reluctantly stepped toward each other. “Ah, come on. You can get closer than that. You aren’t strangers!” you said.

You heard Y/N scoff, tilting her head back in exasperation at the situation. They stepped a little closer. 

“There you go. That’s better. Come on, you used to love each other, for pete’s sake!” you said. 

You watched as they finally stepped closer and stood shoulder to shoulder, Jake taking his pinky and intertwining it with hers at their sides. 

He leaned his head down to rest on top of hers. “Still do, Sammy boy. Still do.” 

——

Elle was seated across the trailer, carefully applying tiny sparkles to her face. She used the utmost care and concentration, making sure each one got in its specific place. She’d chosen a tight silver dress with a shimmery black shawl to wear to the show tonight, fitting her figure perfectly. Her hair was long and cascading, and she’d put a few braids tight to her scalp, adorning them with some type of shiny clip things. 

“I love dressing up for your shows, it’s so much fun!” She’d said while you watched her pick out the outfit.

Her face was lit up with tiny stars and reflective glitter, catching the light every time she turned to flash you a smile. You held your guitar in your hands, offering her your nods of approval everytime she asked if it looked okay. “Perfect, baby.” 

Of course it looked okay, everything she did was flawless. You felt yourself beaming, taking in her existence when she was doing something so simple as primping herself. You could stare at her for hours, and never tire at her sight. Her presence alone was enough to make you feel whole. 

This must be how Jake feels. 

Daniel and Josh stood to the side, mixing their drinks and talking low about some new idea they were working on. Jake sat beside you on the couch, your knees mindlessly bumping into one another’s as you both strummed on your acoustics. It was eerily peaceful for a pre-show gathering. Almost like the calm before the storm. 

You heard the crowd explode outside, a signal that the openers were warming everything up just right. 

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Samuel.” Jake said in an almost whisper, not bothering to look at you. “I don’t think I’ve seen your teeth this much your whole life...smiling like the Joker over there.” 

You shied away a little bit, realizing you’d been caught staring at Elle. It wasn’t lost on you that you’d probably turned into a better form of yourself lately, and it showed in everything that you did. 

You slowed your playing, bringing the strumming to a light pick. “Ya know Jake, I think I get it now. How you feel. It’s a...fairly new feeling but. I think I understand why you are the way you are with Y/N.”

His eyes finally met yours, silently asking what the hell you meant. “You guys have always been each other’s everything, even over all the years of separation and finding each other. I think this time, her coming back to you meant more than it did when we were younger.”

You paused, searching for the words while he sat silently. 

“I’m getting to a point where I couldn’t imagine losing Elle again. If she left me like she did last time...I don’t know...what I would do…” you trailed off. 

“And you and Y/N have done this over and over, man. I don’t know how you...wake up and do what we do every day. Especially while she’s here with us, so close by…” you felt your eyes going to the floor, staring absently while you let your words fall. 

“I get it now. Why it was so hard for you to watch her and I. I put myself in your shoes, and it’s like a dagger to the gut.” You put your guitar down on the floor, leaning it against the couch. You slid to the edge of the seat, grabbing your drink and finishing it in one gulp, the recurring guilt of hurting Jake creeping its way back in, but this time it was amplified. 

You turned around to look at him, his face sullen and sunken, a mirror image of Y/N’s lately. He didn’t have an immediate response, just continued strumming away and biting the insides of his cheeks. You knew he was deep in his thoughts, you could always read it on his face. He didn’t need to say anything, he knew you were sorry. And so was she. 

You stood up from the couch, and headed over to mix another drink. Suddenly a coordinator poked their head in the door, “Ten minutes to stage, guys!” 

“Sammy.” Jake said, causing you to turn back to him. He pointed to Elle with his chin. “Don’t ever let her forget exactly how she makes you feel. She might forget all the things you say to her, but never let her go one day without knowing how she really makes you feel. It’s the only thing that will stick.”

You nodded, showing you understood his advice. He raised his eyebrows to you in his best big-brotherly way. “That feeling you’ve got doesn’t come around often, Sam. Trust me. Don’t let it slip through your fingers.” And with that, he stood up to join Josh and Danny. 

Josh walked to the middle of the room, raising his glass, “Shall we toast, brothers?”

HER POV

With the impending storm, the entire crew was on high alert. You had the weather radar pulled up on your phone nearly constantly, tracking the storm as it changed and grew. You were hot on the heels of the rest of the coordinators, your radio busy with communication. It looked like the storm was dissipating, but the rain was still going to be very present. You huffed a sigh. You had practically memorized the rain show procedures, and you made sure everything was ready, just in case. Preparing for the worst was all you could do at this point. It truly wasn’t a huge deal, it happened all the time, but it was still something you’d never had to head-up before. 

With all of your rushing, you didn’t have time to give the guys their 10-minute warning, pushing off the task to someone else. You missed out on their pre-show ritual, and getting ready with Elle. Watching it was something you were growing to love being a part of, even if it was hard being around Jake. 

You finally made it back to the trailer just in time to make sure they were dressed and their outfits were perfect. They lined up for you to check them out, this new tradition becoming a cute habit. Josh looked stunning in his lilac crushed velvet suit adorned with embroidered temperance tarot images. He kissed your cheek and laughed, “Break a leg out there, huh?” 

“Josh, that’s for me to say to you, crazy.” You rolled your eyes. He laughed as he pranced down the steps. Daniel was strikingly handsome in his pink lacy top and fitted pants. You applauded him as he passed you by, always so effortless. “Tear it up, Danny.” You said. He gave you a proud and tight lipped smile. He really was starting to come into his own. 

Sam looked downright gorgeous in his light pink suit. His lapels embroidered with a cardinal and an violet flower. “Ah, state emblems, huh? I’m starting to get it. You’re sneaky, Sam. Was that your idea?” You brushed off the shoulders of his suit before he offered you a wink, tilting his seltzer to you and exiting the trailer without a word. 

Your heart dropped as you realized Jake was last. You scanned him quickly as he approached you and the door, and you didn’t see his collar flipped, his sleeve cuffed, not a single thread out of place. He was ready to go. 

He was ready to go…

He glanced at you, giving you a slight smile and a nod before descending the stairs and closing the door behind him. He didn’t even try to have a moment. The one you’d looked forward to for the last few shows…the one he created. He had slipped through without even a word. 

The guys took the stage minutes later, the crowd going absolutely insane. You found Elle sidestage, hugging her from behind upon approach. The two of you watched as they greeted the fans, starting off the show with ‘My Way, Soon’, creating an immediate dynamic that was intoxicating for everyone involved. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Elle. I swear you came back at the absolute perfect time.” You spoke loudly into her ear overtop of the loud music. She hugged your arms that were holding onto her waist. The show proceeded without a hitch, all except for the wind picking up again. There was a thin mist in the air, the dew setting in as the night ticked on. The fog had begun to roll in behind the crowd creating an ominous atmosphere.

You found yourself transfixed on Jake again, your attention naturally being drawn to him. You had learned by watching him show after show, that he truly had a stage presence that overtook his band mates at times, but it was without intention. He just naturally had it. The way he moved and played was enough to steal all of your concentration, and keep it. 

You and Elle were having a good time, dancing and singing along, her stealing glances and smiles from Sam every once in a while, but Jake never once looked your way. 

The music slowed, Sam coming in on the keys with a low and slow ballad while Danny joined in. 

“Looks like the rain is setting in! Everyone take cover!” Josh ran around the stage, covering his already frizzy hair with one hand. He laughed as the song became heavier, the tone of the organ setting into your chest. 

“I don’t think we’ve played this on the Strange Horizons tour...” Josh said, causing the crowd to go wild. “But this one is one of my favorites… and I’ve had people come up to me, out of nowhere and kind of go ‘Oh yes, I went to a show of yours, and uh, I didn’t hear this song, and I really wanted to hear it.’ and all I could say is, ‘Yeah, me too!’” he laughed.

You were puzzled, on what song could he be talking about.  

“Sometimes it’s a battlefield when it comes to putting together a setlist…” he continued.

When do they ever argue about setlists? 

“So here we go, let’s do it.” he said finally.

You looked to Elle, who was just as confused as you were. But, after a few seconds, the mystery turned into realization. Jake came in on the electric instead of the acoustic, throwing you off even more. 

It can’t be, is he doing this again? 

You looked at Elle. “Is this Flower Power?” you asked her. You already knew the answer, but you needed some validation, for someone else to tell you what you thought your ears were hearing. 

She nodded sweetly to you, immediately covering her mouth with her hand. You stood in complete stillness, letting the music and the emotion wrap around you. 

The notes spun around in the air, and you felt weightless. Why are they doing this? You tried your best to look to Jake for some type of explanation, but he was enraptured by the crowd. The song went on in what felt like slow motion, and you finally found your head. You wrapped your arms around Elle, and she took you into an embrace that felt like home. They were playing your song. Your true song. 

A flashback found your mind amidst the chaos of hearing it…you in your hotel room bed, intoxicated as ever, with Jake lying beside you. 

“...The flower song. Makes me cry...”

“…I don’t have my guitar, darlin’…but if I did...I would play it for you a thousand times…”

You shook your head at the memory replaying from your drunken night. 

“…One day?…”

“…Yeah baby. One day.”

Today was that day. He was playing it for you, finally. You couldn’t believe your ears. You felt your heart tumble, hearing the familiar chords float through the air…the song you had memorized and hummed for weeks after he played it for you all those years ago in his bedroom. It had stuck in your head, and here it was again, being played in front of thousands of fans. You felt like you might pass out. 

Finally Jake backed up on the stage toward his amps, looking your way. You gave him a genuine smile, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. He smiled back, a tiny one, but it was something. 

Elle came beside you and wrapped her arms around you again. Just then, Josh glanced your way, making eye contact and smiling at the two of you and your reactions. He fooled with his in-ear as he laughed, turning back to the crowd. He added in a few lyrics from a completely different song, making Elle scream with one hand in the air. 

“Ahhhh! That was Anthem?!” She yelled, beginning to sway with one arm around your waist, and the other raised to the sky. 

She brought her face close to your ear so you could hear her clearly. “You know, he may be playing this as a surprise to all of us, but his message is to you.” she said. 

You looked at her, confused. 

“Babe, after you left, he would insist that they play this at almost every show, hoping you would hear it and come back to him.” She said, pulling away with a sympathetic look. 

You felt like you could crawl into a deep, dark hole, and never re-emerge. 

“He knew it was your favorite. He said the last time you heard it, it didn’t have words, or a title, or anything…he just hoped you would be out there, somewhere, and recognize it. He’d even wait after shows for a little bit to see if you’d show up.”

“After a while, he gave up. They played it less and less until they stopped playing it altogether. I guess this is the first time since then…” she trailed off. 

“Why don’t you just let yourself be with him, Y/N? It would be the easiest thing in the world…” Elle asked. 

You looked her deeply in the eyes, and bit your cheek. “Because Elle, I signed a contract saying I wouldn’t fraternize with any member of the band. I could lose my job. They’re literally my bosses. Plus, he and I are just…” you couldn’t finish the sentence, feeling confused about where you and Jake had left things, and now, about him playing your song. 

Elle came close again, bringing her face close to yours, and holding both of your hands in hers. “Honey, your job may pay the bills now, but it isn’t going to be sitting on the front porch with you when you’re 80.” She raised her eyebrows and gave you a knowing look, and returned to watching the show. 

That was enough. You backed away from Elle, placing a hand to your forehead, fighting back the tears you knew would be littering your face soon. You looked to Jake again, unable to form any type of coherent thought. All he did was lock into your eyes as he played the remaining few notes of the song. 

Fuck. 

The crowd was going nuts, Jake was beaming with pride, and you felt like you needed to retreat again. This was a replay of the night they played You’re the One, except this was much, much worse. You imagined that night at the hotel again, your hand on Jake’s chest, your fingers grazing over his lips, his stomach…What else had you forgotten about that night? 

You spent the rest of the show in a daze, letting the music pull your body around however it wanted, succumbing to the emotions still left behind from hearing your song. It had begun to drizzle fairly heavily, but the show continued without any problem. They played a song for the first time live, ‘The Barbarians’, and you found yourself once again being pulled in by the sounds of Jake’s playing…a brand new song you’d already fallen in love with being pulled off without a hitch. 

You stood to the side, trying to look busy while they came backstage before their encore. You still hadn’t formulated a plan of what to say if you were met with Jake. You could feel the emotions heavier than ever, and it was only a matter of time before he found you. 

Your head was still spinning as the last song wrapped up, your cue to get back to work. Thankfully you could now drown yourself in your work as a distraction. 

You retreated to the back of the venue, beginning to gather everything up for the crew to pack. You tried your best to stay hidden, moving quickly to stay out of Jake’s line of vision. The tears were flowing harder with every passing second. 

You ran into Sam and Elle backstage, trying to dry up your face as best you could. 

“Hey.” Sam said, putting a hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You pat your face with your hands. “Ah, ya know, Sam...Not really.” You laughed through your exasperation, trying to cover it up as best you could. 

“I know, I know. It sounded good though, right?” He said, trying to break things up. 

“It sounded perfect.” You said, offering him a smile. 

“Hey well, we’re going to a bar here in a little bit. Once you get finished up, come down, okay?” Sam said as he began to walk away. 

“I’ll text you the address!” Elle yelled over her shoulder. 

You continued marking off checklists and making sure everything was packed up, when your phone buzzed in your back pocket. 

Elle: Hey! We’re going to a place called Kasey’s Tavern. I’ll send you my location. It’s within walking distance to the hotel. See you in a bit :)

You: Ok, sounds great! 

Sliding your phone into your back pocket, you glanced up to the sky again. The clouds were thickening, even in the darkness you could tell something was brewing, and the strange feeling in your gut told you it might not just be a rainstorm. 

JAKE POV

As you played the final notes of the song, eyes locked with hers, you could see the tears starting to stream down her face. You watched as she ran off, seemingly hiding herself from the rest of the world as she usually did. You knew this would get to her, and you hoped it would. You hoped she felt every single word of that song deep in her bones, just like you did. 

You spent the rest of the show deep inside your head, wondering if it was enough. If your message was clear. You were itching to get off the stage, to run and find her. Tell her you’re sorry for everything you ever did to hurt her. But she was gone, you couldn’t find her anywhere. You felt like you searched the entire venue looking for her, but she had disappeared. Had you taken it too far? 

When Sam suggested hitting the bar near the hotel you were the first to speak up in agreement, deciding a stiff drink was exactly what you needed. As you waited for the rest of the guys to change, you thought for sure she would be coming around to collect your suits, or even tell you the van was here, but she didn’t.

“Have you seen Y/N?” you ask Sam.

“Ah…I saw her get pretty torn up during Flower Power, as expected. I ran into her a bit ago, told her we were going to the bar. I haven’t seen her since. Elle told her where we’re going, though.” he answers, clapping you on the shoulder.

Josh approached you just then, Sam turning away to find Elle, “Well?” he asks.

“She’s gone. Ran off a complete mess. Maybe we shouldn’t have.” you whisper.

“She’ll be back. Probably just trying to wrap things up since we only had one night here.” he says as you nod your head.

“Jake, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you all night. Every time I looked over she was watching you. She’s not gone.” he said finally, walking away.

You grabbed your bag and followed him out of the dressing room door to load into the van.  Slowly everyone began to pile inside, ready to go to the bar and celebrate another successful and sold out show. 

—

You hated leaving the venue without her, but you knew she had a job to do, and that was part of it. As the van pulled up outside of the bar, you stepped out into the light drizzle of rain, and quickly made your way inside. It was fairly busy, but that was typical, you thought, for a Friday night.

“Bulliet, neat, thanks.” you said to the bartender, perusing the selection. You lifted your hand, signaling for the rest of the guys to join you and place their orders.

After a few minutes, the drinks were placed in front of you, and you made your way over to Elle and Summer, waiting in a small booth in the corner, Josh, Sam and Daniel right behind you.

“Summer, I got you a mojito, that’s what you like right?” you asked, half listening as you placed the drink on the table.

Her camera still around her neck, you watched as she snapped a few photos of Josh and Sam talking, as she answered, “Yes! Can’t believe you remembered!”

“Well you spilled the entirety of one on yourself, so. Kind of hard to forget.” you quipped.

You took a seat next to Elle, sipping your drink as you watched the door, willing her to walk through it at any moment. 

“She’ll be here, Jake. Don’t worry.” Elle said, patting your arm.

“You think she’ll come?” you ask, tipping the glass to your lips.

“I know she will…” she pauses. “She didn’t know…about you playing the song for her at the shows back then. I thought she knew. I feel awful, I think that’s what broke her.” she confesses.

“Those were some hard days, huh? How pathetic was I…sitting around waiting, thinking she’d show up backstage.” you say.

“It’s not pathetic Jake, I think that’s what love looks like.” she replies.

“I couldn’t find her after the show. Looked everywhere.” you say.

“I saw her. She was pretty torn up, but…she was there. She looked busy. I did text her, she knows where we are.” she says.

You nod your head, and throw back the rest of your drink. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“I think you already did. I think it’s her turn to talk, and when she does, you’ll know what to say.” she smiles softly.

You place your hand on top of hers resting on the table, patting it gently, “I’m so glad you’re back.”

She looks over to Sam, deeply engrossed in conversation, and then back to you, “Can’t believe I ever left…”

“All that matters is you’re back now. And, I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but you’re making Sam a really happy guy.” you smile. “Want another drink?” 

“Sure! Sappy time is over, now it's party time!” she laughs.

You slide out of the booth and make your way to the bar with the two empty glasses in hand. You order another round, and find your way back to the table through the mass of people and hazy air. 

As you spot the table you see Y/N, sitting talking to Sam and Elle. You swallow back your emotions and place Elle’s drink on the table, taking a seat next to Summer at the opposite side of the booth. Your eyes glance over to her, drifting up her rain soaked frame and meeting her eyes. The contact is brief as she breaks away to continue talking to Sam.

“It’s really raining now huh?” he asks, throwing her raincoat over the back of the booth. 

“It looked like it was going to drop out at any second, of course it waited for me to step outside.” she laughed. 

The sounds of her laughter brought a smile to your lips, but you were careful to stifle it down before anyone noticed. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go grab a drink, does anyone need anything?” she asks.

“No, I think we’re good, the drinks are under Josh’s tab tonight.” Sam says.

Her eyes flash to yours for just a second before sliding out and disappearing into the crowd. 

Sam looks over to Summer, and then to you, “Jake, come play pool with me?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. He doesn’t want to play pool, he wants to talk. 

“There’s a table open over there.” you say pointing towards the back, and grabbing your drink.

You follow him over to the table, and grab a pool stick, as he racks the balls. 

“You gonna talk to her?” he asks. 

“I don’t know what to say, she will hardly look at me.” you answer.

“I noticed…let her get a few drinks in her system. She will come to you, she always does.” he replies, taking his first shot.

“What do you mean she always does?” you ask, hitting the 14 into the pocket. 

“I don't know, she just…always does. Whenever she's drinking she… gravitates towards you. Just needs to be in your orbit. Feels safe around you, I guess.” he says, his words starting to slur as he finishes his drink.

As you thought about it, he was right. Thinking back to the lake, even to last week. She was by your side the whole time. 

“I hope you’re right.” you say, sinking another ball.

“I always am!” he says, his laugh filling the room.

After a few more unsuccessful shots from Sam, you deposit each billiard ball into the pocket with ease, but not without a little unsportsmanlike conduct from Sam. You sink the eight ball, finishing the game, and signaling that you were heading to the bar for another drink. Sam makes his way back to the table, wrapping his arms around Elle, and you find yourself wishing that you could hold Y/N that way. 

As you approach the bar you see Y/N, sitting on a bar stool, body rigid as a guy is leaning against the bartop talking to her. Her body language is enough to see from across the room that she isn’t interested. You stand back, waiting for your drink from the bartender as you watch the interaction from afar. 

It seems like ten minutes has passed as you continue to watch the guy hit on her. Finally the bartender slides you your drink, and you start to make your way closer to her, standing back just enough, but still close enough to interfere if needed.

“Come on, it’s just one drink, don’t be a bitch.” he says, with a bit of an edge.

You watch her recoil at his words, “No. I’m not interested for the third time.” she spits towards him.

He grabs the back of her chair, and spins it towards him, caging her in with his arms, “Come on, you’re too pretty to turn me down.” he presses.

You toss back the entirety of your drink, and step in, “Hey man, she said no.” you say, semi-defensively. 

“This your girl?” he asks, releasing his grip from the bartop.

Your eyes meet hers before turning back to him, “Yeah, she is.”

“Sorry man, my mistake.” he says, walking away without a fight.

“You okay?” you ask her, your eyes searching hers.

She grabs her drink, throwing it back the rest of it, and slamming the glass down on the counter, before getting up and pushing past you. 

“Y/N!” you yell over the loud music and crowd of people. 

She walks quickly over to the table, grabbing her jacket and her purse and practically runs towards the door before you can catch her. 

You pull your wallet out of your pocket, and grab a bill, throwing it on the table towards Sam, who is looking at you in shock. “Close my tab, I gotta go.” you say, taking off towards the door.

The rain is falling heavily onto the pavement, the sound of the downpour drowning out the sound of the cars buzzing by. You see her walking down the street and you take off towards her, calling her name as you run. She turns to face you, cheeks wet with tears or rain, you can’t tell. 

“Y/N, Please! Stop running from me! Talk to me!” you shout, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face you.

“What! What Jake? What do you want me to say?” she yells, and from the way her voice cracks you can tell its tears, not rain. 

“I want you to talk to me! We need to talk. About everything! All of it! Right now!” you say, shouting loud enough to make sure she can hear you over the sound of the wind and rain.

“Why did you do that! Why did you say that in there?” she cries. 

“What? To that guy?!” you ask.

“Yes! I thought I didn’t need you to take care of me! I’m a professional, right?!” she yells.

“Y/N, stop! You know I didn’t mean that! I told you I was sorry!” you begged.

“But you said it Jake! I know that’s how you actually feel!” she says, trying to pull out of your grip.

You grab her other arm, holding her at arm's length, the rain dripping from both of your bodies, in a constant stream. “You think that’s how I feel?! That’s what you think?” you yell.

You pull your arm away, brushing your dripping hair out of your face before placing it back on her arm. “I only said that because that’s exactly what I do want! I want to take care of you! I want to take care of you for the rest of my life! Everyday! It’s all I have wanted since I was sixteen years old! Please...just let me!” you plead.

You stare at her, waiting for her response, rain dripping from your noses as your breath swirls into the cold air. She shivers as you watch her eyes dart around, her brain scrambling to find a response. 

“Why did you play that song Jake! Why did you play my song…” she cries.

“Because! Because I’m in love with you and that's the only way I knew I could get through to you!” you yell.

“Stop Jake!” she cries. 

“No! I won’t! You need to know that I love you! I love you with every shattered piece of my heart! If that’s not enough, then don't drag this out. Let me go! If I can't have your heart, then you can't keep mine prisoner. That's not how this works Y/N! You don't get to have it all!” you yell, water dripping from your face.

She pulls free from your grip, taking off towards the hotel, just a few blocks away. You run after her, determined to tell her how you feel once and for all. She throws the lobby door open, rushing towards the elevator, with you hot on her heels. As you step into the elevator, you grab her hand, cold and wet, lacing it with yours and spinning her to meet you. Her eyes meet yours, and for a second time stood still. You could see her fighting herself, denying herself what she truly wanted.

The doors opened, and she pushed past you, walking to her room, you following behind her. As she fumbled for the key to her room, still dripping with remnants of the rain, you stopped her hand with yours. 

She looked up at you, “We can’t do this Jake!” she paused, “You can’t love me!” 

You grab her face in your hands, holding her cheeks as she shivered beneath your fingers, “Yes I can. And I do. I’m so in love with you that it drives me fuckin’ insane, Y/N! I haven’t stopped loving you since that night in the garage. That was it for me! I never looked back! I don’t know what kind of fucked up twisted shit the universe keeps playing on us but in case you haven’t noticed it keeps bringing us back together. It keeps bringing you back to me. This is how it’s supposed to be Y/N. You and me. So yeah, I played that song tonight. For you. Because it says everything I’ve never been able to say. Please, tell me it was enough. Tell me that I am enough.” you beg, tears welling in your eyes.

Her breath catches in her throat, as she chokes back a sob, tapping her key card to the door and throwing it open. She steps inside, turning to face you, swallowing back her tears.

“I can’t Jake.” she breathes, the tears fall quickly down her cheeks, a sob leaving her chest, followed by the sound of the door slamming shut in your face.

You felt your heart plummet, and for a second, even if you wanted them to, your lungs refused to fill with air. The water that had been threatening to take you all along, finally did. You were drowning, and you let yourself sink this time. You didn’t want to come back up. You stood there, paralyzed, as the hallway began to spin around you. 

It wasn’t enough. You’re not enough. 

The vision in your peripheral started to fade, turning to black fog, slowly inching its way closer. Knowing you were seconds from passing out, you pulled yourself away from the door, and began to walk to the elevator. It was done. You told her everything, but it wasn’t enough. 

Your shaky hand pressed the button to take you to your floor, and you shoved your hands into your pockets, eyes permanently fixed to the carpet. Your breathing was shallow, a full breath nowhere in sight. The tears threatening to spill from your lashes, finally breaking free as you blinked. As the elevator doors opened, you took one last look towards her door as you began to step in, waiting for the doors to close and take you away. Just as they started to shut you heard it.

A voice you would recognize in any crowd echoing through the hall. “Wait!”

You quickly threw your arm out pushing the doors open as you stepped back out of the elevator, wondering if it was a figment of your tortured mind, but as you looked down the hallway you saw her, standing in her doorway, tear stained and pleading for you.

“Jake, wait!” she said letting the door slam behind her, running towards you, the air leaving your chest at the sight.

You opened your arms, ready to catch her and never let go. It felt like slow motion as she ran towards you, your heart ready to burst at any second it was beating so forcefully. 

As her body collided with yours, her arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing you tightly as she sobbed. 

“You’re enough! You’re enough! You’ve always been enough! I’m sorry!” she cries into your neck. Her hands grasp into your hair, “Please. Please don’t leave.” 

You release your arms from around her, grabbing her face, feeling her tears dripping onto your hands, Her swollen, bloodshot eyes, meeting yours, “Never. I’ll never leave you.”

HER POV

‘I’ll never leave you…’

You could barely hear him over the sound of your heart beating out of your chest. The pounding in your ears, deafening. The only thoughts in your head were of Jake, and everything that happened in the last five minutes.

As soon as the door slammed shut the tears fell uncontrollably, you sunk down on the other side of the door, feeling like you had ripped your own heart out. Why were you doing this to yourself? Why were you doing this to him? How could you let him think he wasn’t enough?

You dragged yourself up, resting your weight on the door as you brought your blurry, tear filled eye to the peephole. With your hand over your mouth to conceal your sobs, you watched him stand there, staring blankly at the closed door, trying to figure out where he went wrong. Trying to figure out why he wasn’t enough for you. 

A sob escaped you as you watched him start to walk away, pressing the elevator button, and wiping away his own tears. This was it. He was leaving. 

Panic bloomed in your chest. How could you live this life without him? Why would you deny yourself  the single best thing that you’ve ever had?

Before you could stop yourself you were throwing the door open begging him to wait. Calling his name through the tiny corridor, praying he heard you before those elevator doors closed.

Then you saw him, stepping out, making sure he wasn’t imagining it, eyes full of shock as he saw you running towards him. That hallway felt a mile long as you ran to him, his arms open waiting for you. You knew at that moment that this job, your career, your life, all of it, was nothing if Jake wasn’t part of it. 

As he spoke you snapped back to the present, his hands still cupping your tear soaked cheeks, “Do you hear me? Never.” he said, his eyes sincere and red rimmed.

“You and me?” you asked, repeating his sentiment through a shaky breath.

“You and me.” he said, a whisper as his lips crashed to yours, right there in the hallway, soaking wet and shivering. The kiss that would seal you to him like a wax stamp on a perfect piece of parchment. You were his, and you always had been. His lips were cold and salty from his tears, his fingers weaving into the small hairs at the base of your neck. Each calloused fingertip pressing into your skin, holding you there, anchoring you in place as if you might float away. 

His lips glided against yours in the same calculated way they always had, as you pulled yourself closer to him. Your bodies starting to feel the magnetism that they had always shared, binding you together with an invisible string. You both heard the elevator move and knew you had to take this elsewhere. He pulled away, looking at you as you spoke, “My room...” you whispered against his lips. You laced your hand with his as you pulled him behind, walking to your door, pushing it open and letting it slam closed behind the two of you.

You watched as Jake smoothed his hand over his wet hair, seemingly lost in his thoughts, “I…I can’t do this if you’re going to leave me again the second you get in your head. I…won’t make it.” he pleads.

You place your hand on his cheek, “I’m not going anywhere Jake. Never again.”

His hand reaches up to cup yours over his cheek, bringing it down to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your fingertips. 

“You promise?” he asks, against your fingers. 

“Do you?” you breathe.

“For the rest of my life, love. I mean it.” he says, blinking back tears.

“I’m so sorry.” you say, every ounce of pent up emotion filling your words. 

“I’m sorry too, baby. For everything. All of it. Do you know how much it killed me to pretend I didn’t care? To not look at you? To act like I was thinking about anything other than you?” he asks, leading you over to sit at the edge of the bed. 

“I shouldn’t have left I–” you say as he stops you. 

“No. You were doing what you thought you had to do. You had a job to do. You didn’t see another way. But I do. We can do this. I want to do this. I need you, Y/N.” he says.

“We’ll figure it out?” you beg.

He grabs your hands in his, holding them to his lips, “Everyday. One step at a time.”

“I remember.” you whisper, as he sends you a confused look.

“That night, in Bridgeport. I remember. I remembered as soon as I heard you play tonight. You laid with me. Talked to me. Told me you’d play it for me one day, and you did.” you said, blinking back another round of tears.

“I remember the look on your face the first time I ever played that riff for you. In my tiny bedroom back in Michigan. You were drifting off to sleep in my bed; begged me to lay with you that night too. I knew then that I was in love with you. I think of that every time I play that song. I remember every time I ever played it for you. The way you looked, how your smile made me feel. I played it at every show, hoping you’d come. Hoping you’d hear it, and you’d find me backstage, but you never did.” he pauses, looking down to the floor.

“Even though it killed me, I played it, even sang along. Although we did eventually stop playing it, I never gave up hope that you’d hear it one day. I hoped you’d remember it the same way I did. Then, one day I walked into a bar I didn’t want to go to in the first place, and there you were. Sitting on a bar stool looking more gorgeous than I could have ever dreamed of. I was honestly too stunned to even look your way. I couldn’t believe you were real, and in front of me after all this time of wishing for you. I sat at the bar with Sophia, running over a thousand different ways I could say hello, shooting down each one, chalking it up to not being good enough. Then, when I finally got up the courage, you were leaving with Sam.”

You laced your fingers with his, you knew he needed to get this out. His thumb absentmindedly rubbed across your palm as he continued.

“I wanted to drop right through the floor as the door shut behind the two of you. Sophia had to all but carry me home. She had no idea. I felt like I finally had you within reach, and suddenly you were gone. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again, until I showed up at Sam’s the next morning. I left and went straight to the bar. Drank until I couldn’t feel anything. In fact, I did that for weeks. Seeing you with Sam almost killed me. It hurt me down to my core to think for one second you might’ve been in love with my brother and not me. Can you imagine how that felt? I was confused day and night for months watching you two together. Always questioning myself and wondering what he had that I couldn’t give you. Now, I understand why you guys did what you did, but it still hurt. I just wanted to be enough for you.” he finished.

“Jake, you’ve always been more than enough for me.” you said, a single tear streaming down your cheek.

He swiped it away with his pointer finger, “Ah, it didn’t feel like it sometimes.” 

“I thought you were happy with Sophia, I… I didn’t know you still felt that way about me. She told me you were moving in together… looking at rings, I–” he cut you off.

“No. We never looked at rings, I would have rather spent my whole life alone, then be married to someone that isn't you.” he said, your heart dropping into your stomach.

“She didn’t love me. She loved who she thought I was. What she thought I could give her. No one ever loved me like you did.” he said, shaking his head.

“Do.” you reply, his eyes coming up to meet yours. 

“Loves you like I do.”

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N.” he said leaning forward to grab your face.

“Neither did I.” you reply, pressing your lips to his, your hands wrapping around his head, desperately pulling him closer to you. 

Your lips tangle together, a desperate display of passion bound by the restraints of time. No inch of his lips were left untouched by yours, his tongue licking into your mouth like silk as it explored the places it once knew. 

You struggled to kick your boots off, as you pushed yourself backwards on the bed. Jake detached his lips from yours, grabbing your wet boots and throwing them to the floor with his own. 

You laid back into the pillows, waiting for him to come back to you, already desperate for his lips to be on yours again and within seconds, he returned. Planting soft kisses on the exposed area of your neck. He made his way up your jaw and back to your lips, his tongue once again finding yours as he hovered over you. 

You reached your hands into his partially open shirt, his skin still cool from the damp fabric. Your fingers worked the last three buttons, pulling it down his shoulders to reveal his bare chest. He lifted his arms to throw it to the floor, smoothing a strand of hair from your forehead as his hands returned. 

He sat back, resting on his knees as he looked at you. “You’re the love of my life. You know that?”

You could feel your cheeks blushing as you soaked in the words you’ve so desperately wanted to hear. “Show me.”

His hand drops to your bare thigh, the skirt of your dress sitting just above it. “Are you sure? You want this? You want…us…again?”

You smiled, “Do you?”

A grin spread across his face as he dropped his head, looking back up at you, “For the rest of my life…”

You nod your head as you feel his hand travel up your thigh, his fingertips gently brushing the lace of your panties. You see him swallow and his eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your skin against his hand.  

Slowly, you reach down to the hem of your dress, lifting the skirt and pulling the damp fabric over your head. His eyes flash down to your body, darting around as he takes in the sight of you. He smiles as he drops down, turning you just enough to place a kiss right over your tattoo. Your body arches up into him as his lips detach from your skin. “I missed you more than I’ll ever be able to tell you.” he says, rubbing his thumb over the inked skin. 

His index finger drags across your skin, gliding down the length of your torso, stopping at the hem of your panties. “You know we don’t have to… I’d be more than happy to lay here and hold you all night.” 

“Do you not want to?” you ask, nervously.

“No, baby. I do. I have thought about this, and this alone for months. I don't just want to, I need to. I need to feel you again, need to be close to you, show you how I feel about you.” he says.

“Then take me. I’m yours.” you breathe.

“Fuck…” he growls, leaning over you and pressing his lips to yours, this kiss is hungry, almost starving. Taking every inch of your lips into his. 

Your hands fumble with the button on his pants, as his fingers unclasp your bra, throwing it to the floor. His eyes travel down to your bare chest, much fuller than the last time he saw you this way, and you can almost hear how loud his heart is pumping his blood. 

“Y/N…I swear to God, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Ever will see.” he groans.

He kicks his pants to the floor, followed quickly by his boxers as he strokes his length a few times before rejoining you on the bed. His hair is wavy from the rain as it hangs in his face as he hovers over you. You can feel his length pressed to the top of your panties, as he places a wet kiss on your throat. The feeling of his lips on your neck, something you never knew you couldn’t live without.  

His fingers hook into the sides of your panties, slowly pulling them down to reveal the wetness pooling at your center. He throws them to the floor, as his eyes lock onto yours. He slowly lowers himself to your center, pressing a kiss to the top of your mound.

Your hips arch upward towards him and he smiles to himself, grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him. He leans down over you, catching himself on his palms as his necklace swings like a pendulum between you. You grab the necklace, gently pulling his lips to yours, letting your tongue swipe over his bottom lip. 

He parts his lips, granting you access as you lick into his mouth, letting your tongue tangle with his in a dance you’ve craved for years. He drops down to his elbows, and now you can feel his dick pressed firmly to your core. You let your hands roam his bare body, feeling every curve and plain, just as vividly as you remembered. You closed your eyes as you felt his hair brush over your chest, and the cold metallic feeling of his necklace resting on your nipple. 

You broke away from his lips, his eyes opening to meet yours as you stared into his dark brown eyes, “Touch me.”

Suddenly you feel his fingers slide through your wetness, the brush of his fingertips over your clit sending lightning through your body.

“Fuck I missed you. Missed how you respond to me. Come undone for me…” he says, circling the bud with his fingers. Spreading your wetness up and down your slit, you feel a single digit slip inside of you, his thumb never ceasing on your bundle of nerves.

“I need you Jake. I need you so bad.” you whine, the feeling swirling around in your stomach has you practically begging.

He removes his fingers, leaning up on one arm, and grabbing the base of his dick with his free hand, and lining himself up with your center. He leans back down, and rests his lips at your ear, “Anything you want.”

The burn was the first thing you felt as he pressed forward into you, the stretch all too familiar as you adjusted to him. A groan left his chest as he reached the hilt, completely bottoming out inside of you. 

“Fuck, Y/N…” he panted. His breathing ragged and his chest heaving as he felt you pulsing around him. 

He began to slowly pull out, his eyes locked on yours, never breaking contact as he pushed back in. Your eyes fluttered shut and back open again as he reached that spot he knew so well. The one Jake found. The one he claimed as his own, years ago.

As his movements increased and his rhythm was set, you began to writhe underneath him. Even after all the time that had passed, he still knew exactly what to do, and exactly when to do it. He knew your body as if it were his own. He owned it and claimed it as so. 

“God you feel like fucking velvet baby. I…fuck….” he whined. Gasps of air being pulled into his lungs when he remembered to breathe. 

Your hands gripped into the supple skin at his waist, digging in hard enough you were sure you’d leave bruises, trying to pull him in closer to you. He pulled himself in further, his base stretching you further.

“It will never be close enough, baby. Never.” he groaned.

“Jake…” you whined, the breathy tone swirling directly into his ears.

You could feel his cock jump inside of you at the sound of his name leaving your lips.

You watched him swallow, his breathing heavy as the sweat rolled down his stomach. “Say it again.” he growled, snapping his hips into you. The tip of his dick grazing the sensitive nerves of your cervix.

“Oh fuck, Jake…” you cry.

A deep breath escapes his lungs, “I’m not gonna last sweetheart, I’ve wanted you for too long.”

“No. I…I don’t want it to be over. God you feel so good…I…” you trail off, your brain unable to process how you’re feeling.

“Tell me. Tell me you’re mine.” He says, rolling his hips into you like crashing waves.

A whine leaves your chest at his words, and you feel your heart twist. 

“Tell me my love.” he begs, his hips unrelenting.

“I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, even when you thought I wasn’t. I love you Jake, I’ll always love you.” you cry.

“I fucking love you too. So much. So fucking much. Cum for me angel, let me feel you again. Let me have you.” he begs, his breathing ragged and his hips faltering. 

“Say it again. Tell me you love me.” you breathe.

“I’ll tell you until there’s no air left in my lungs. I love you. I’ve loved you my whole life. I’ll never love anyone else. Now, let go for me, I know you want to.”

The flame in your stomach ignites, and you explode like a firework around him, your nails digging into his back, and your face pressed into his. You can feel his breath on your lips, hot and smelling of Whiskey.

With the final pulse of your release you feel his lips on yours, begging for a taste of you one more time. With one final thrust his eyes grow hooded and his stomach tenses as you feel him grasp on to you, the breath stolen from his lungs as he spills into you. A groan leaves his chest, one that would sound painful to anyone else, but you knew that the only pain he felt was the pain of being separated from you for far too long. 

You could feel it, as the warmth splattered into you, his cock slowly stilling inside of you, as he let his body weight lay on top of you. His hands snaked under your body, holding you tightly to him, almost as if he was afraid to let you go. Minutes passed, both of you wrapped in each other, neither of you wanting to make the first move to get up.

Eventually though, Jake did pull out of you, the remnants of his release, slipping out onto your thighs. He swiped away his release with his fingers, before retreating to the bathroom. You got up to join him, both still marveling at each other's naked bodies. 

You grab a towel to clean yourself off, wishing it wasn’t too late for a shower. When you step back out into the room, you see Jake’s boxer clad body pulling back the sheets on the bed. A water bottle sits on the side table and your phone is already plugged in. 

“Jake… you didn’t have to do all of that.” you say, pulling a pair of panties on. You grab a t-shirt from your suitcase, and pull it over your head as he replies.

“I spent every day for the last three years, wishing I could do anything…everything for you. And now I can, so just let me do it. Anything you want…” he says, sliding into the sheets. 

You walk over to the curtains, pulling them closed, and make your way to the side of the bed. He pulls the duvet down, and opens his arms. “Please…” he says.

As if you would say no. You slid into the bed, curling up into his side, resting your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of him and the light remnants of his cologne. 

“I wore it, everyday, hoping you’d notice.” he says, reaching over to turn off the lamp.

“I did. I did notice. Especially last night. You looked so good Jake. I couldn’t even handle it. Then I smelled you, so close in that tiny elevator…” you trailed off, tangling your legs with his. It felt good to lay with him again. You let your fingers trace over his chest, feeling the dips and peaks of his body.

“I did it for you, you know. Wanted you to look at me. Wanted you to want me like I wanted you, just so I could rip it away from you. It was stupid, and I hate what I said to you. I hope you know that I didn’t mean it. I was worried sick the second you walked out of the restaurant. Oh, did you get your food?” he asked.

“Yeah…I did. That was you?” you asked. You remember how starved you were when you finally got back last night, and seeing the food on your counter was a godsend. 

“Yeah…It was. I…just wanted you to have it, if you wanted it. I felt so bad, Y/N.” he replies bashfully.

“I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were back. I imagined so many horrible things. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll never let that happen again.” he said, tightening his grip around your back.

“I was okay. But, I get it Jake. I would have been mad at me, too. You don’t have to explain why you did it. I understand.” you said, circling your fingers around his pendant. 

“I think I was just mad because I knew you felt the same way about me as I felt about you. You just wouldn’t let yourself have it.” he said, talking lowly into the dark room. “Do you know how hard it was for me to pull myself away from you that night in Bridgeport?” he asks.

“Laying there, almost like this, a lot less touching, I suppose. Your fingers running over my chest just like this…” he pauses. “You told me you loved me as I left the room. I finally had the confirmation that you felt the same way.”

“I almost remember.” you reply.

“I asked you that night, if you would still love me in the morning. You didn’t answer. You fell asleep, and I snuck out.” he says, “When you came to my room the next morning, I hoped you would remember, but you didn’t. I had to pretend like it never happened. So I flirted with you a little, hoped maybe it would jog your memory. It didn’t, but you flirted back. Played one of the best shows of my life that night.”

“Jake…” you whined, suddenly feeling remorseful. 

“Don’t you see? When you left me the first time, you thought you were helping me. Thought that being with you was going to hold me back. But it was the exact opposite. Being without you inhibited me. You were my muse. Shit, you still are. I have an entire book filled with songs about you.” he says.

“You do?” you ask.

“Yeah, I do. But that's not the point. The point is that I’m better with you. A better person, a better brother, a better musician…I can only be my true self when I have you to share it with. So I am begging you, even though you said you’re not going anywhere, please, just… stay. Be here in the morning. Let me sleep next to you and wake up to your face. Let's wake up early and have coffee and talk about our days. Let me take care of you. That’s all I want. All I’ve ever wanted.” he finishes.

“I love you Jake.” you whisper into his chest. “I promise I’ll never leave you again.”

He tilts your chin up to meet his face, pressing his lips to yours, “I’ll never let you go again.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes before he speaks again, “Close your eyes, I know we have a long day tomorrow, love.” 

You nodded against his chest, wrapping your arm around his waist. His hand ran through the strands of your hair as your eyes grew heavy. You both drifted off to sleep with the sound of rain on the window, and the thoughts of each other filling your minds. 

—

Your eyes blinked slowly, adjusting to the light in the room. You slept soundly, not even stirring through the night. Last night. You turned your head, looking next to you. Nothing. Was it a dream? Did you drink too much?

You shot up in bed, your heart racing as you looked around the room. It couldn’t have been a dream. You could still smell his cologne on the sheets, and you could feel the ache between your legs. Did he regret it?

Pulling the duvet up and over your chest you saw the note placed on your nightstand. You grabbed it with shaky hands and unfolded it.

Looking for coffee. Took your key. Stay in bed. 

Be back soon.

x  Jake

Your heart clenched at the written words. How unlike him to be such an early riser. You stood up and carried yourself to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and freshening up before returning to bed. You grabbed his pillow, switching it with yours, breathing in the smell of him, letting your eyes flutter closed.

A few minutes later you heard the door unlocking and you sat up on your elbows. You watched him walk in, two paper cups of coffee in his hands, his eyes searching for you.

He was in different clothes than he was last night, a pair of loose fitting slacks and half buttoned shirt, frayed at the edges. He walked over to the side of the bed, a soft grin on his lips as he placed the coffee on the nightstand. 

He leaned over, placing a kiss on your forehead before returning to the other side of the bed. He kicked his shoes off and rejoined you, setting his own coffee on his nightstand. 

He opened his arms to you, and you pulled yourself closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You looked up at him, his eyes glimmering in the morning sun, “Good morning. Sleep okay?” he asked.

“I did, but I woke up and thought I must have dreamt it all.” you giggle.

“I know, I’m sorry. That took entirely too fucking long. I was hoping to be back before you woke up.” he said kissing the top of your head. 

“They asked me at the little counter, if I needed cream or sugar, and I realized I don’t even know how you like your coffee, so I got both.” he says, talking into the top of your head.

“Just plain. Black. However it comes…I’m not picky.” you say, playing with the frayed edge of his shirt. “You changed.”

“I did. Stopped by my room for a second. My boots were still wet. Felt gross.” he laughed.

You stretched out next to him, “Ugh… what time is it anyways?” you groaned.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, waking the screen, “8:09” he replies.

“Shit!” you say, throwing the blankets off of you and jumping out of the bed. You took a large gulp of coffee before running over to your suitcase. 

“What?” he asks, sitting up from the headboard.

“Our flight leaves in like… 4 hours. I have to go wake everyone up! I have to pack, and the van–” you stammer, Jakes laugh interrupting your train of thought.

“Baby…relax. It’s fine. We have plenty of time. Just get dressed. We can do one thing at a time. I will go pack my stuff up while you wake them up. Although, Josh already texted me, so I know he’s up.”

“Is he? Okay, good. One less thing to do.” you say, grabbing your phone from the nightstand, and pulling up the calendar. “Alright, the van is picking us up at 10:15 to go to the airport.”

“See, we have plenty of time.” he smirks.

You turn to him and send him a look, “Have you met yourselves?” you laugh.

“Come back, let me hold you for just a second.” he pouts.

“Jake…” you whine, the temptation growing by the second.

“Please?” he whispers.

“Just for a second.” you say, climbing back into the bed. 

He wraps his arms around you, pressing his lips to yours, “Love you…” he says, eyes locked on yours.

Your chest grew warm at his admission. “I love you too, Jake.” you smile, feeling his grip on you grow tighter. 

“You know, this doesn't really change the fact that I am breaking my contract. We can’t…do this outside of that door.” you say into his chest.

A sigh leaves his lungs, “I know. We’ll stay professional in front of everyone. You have my word.” he says, pressing another kiss to your head as you giggle.

“How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you all day?” he asks.

“You did it this long…” you laugh, looking up to him and giving him a quick peck before leaving the bed once again. 

You quickly dressed for the day and finished your coffee, as Jake lounged in the bed, taking in your every move.

“Okay, I’m out, gonna go get your brothers out of bed, and you need to get out of mine and go pack.” you smile, resting your knee on the bed. 

He stands up, sliding his shoes back on, and walking over to meet you. He grabs your waist in his hands and pulls you close, pressing his lips to your ear as he whispers, “Soon you’ll be begging me to stay in bed.”

He places a soft kiss on your throat, before releasing you and heading to the door. 

You stood there speechless, just staring at him with a shocked smile. 

“Promise.” he says with a wink, before sliding out of your door.

—

As you slide into your window seat you find yourself once again feeling the crippling anxiety of flying. Will this ever feel normal? You were lucky to be flying first class, at the instance of the band. You watched a silent exchange happen between Sam and Jake, switching their seats to let Jake sit with you. Had he already told him?

Jake took his backpack off and stored it in front of him, pulling his book out as he did it. He sat down next to you, sending you a smug grin as he crossed his legs. 

“I’m pretty sure that seat was booked for Sam.” you said, speaking lowly, raising your eyebrow in question.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me sitting next to his girlfriend.” he winked.

It hadn’t occurred to you to switch the seat assignments when you bought her ticket last week. To say there was a lot on your mind would have been an understatement.

“Have you seen the attendant, I need a drink, or a valium or something...” you said anxiously, bouncing your knees.

He licked his bottom lip, and you watched as the wheels spun in his head as he nodded slowly. “You know, last time…the flight from Laguardia to here…I thought about you the whole time. Kept peeking over the seat to see if you were okay. I knew you were with Josh, so you were fine, but… just wanted to hold your hand. Tell you it was fine, and it was almost over.” he said, chewing his bottom lip.

“I’ve always been kind of afraid of heights. Flying is… pretty high up…” you replied.

His brow furrowed, as he tilted his head, “But you jumped with me…at the lake?”

Your eyes dart around his face, before landing on his dark brown eyes, “Well, you were with me. You…held my hand. I knew I would be okay if you were there.” you confess.

A deep breath left his nose as his lips curled into a tight smile, “I’m resisting kissing you right now. I really am.” 

You toss him a playful smile as the flight attendant takes your drink order. A few minutes later she is returning with the bubbly alcohol, and you toss it back quickly, hoping it would calm your nerves.

SUMMER POV

Running to the gate your backpack bounced on your back as you approached the counter, scanning your ticket. You just had to pee before boarding. 

You rushed down the jetbridge, stepping onto the plane, and looking at your ticket. 4E.

Ugh, of course it’s an aisle seat. You quickly stow your camera bag and backpack in the overhead bin, and sit down, just as the safety briefing starts and the door shuts.

You look over at the person next to you and realize it’s not anyone you know. You look around you and see Josh and Daniel a row in front of you, Jake and Y/N across the aisle from you, and Sam and Elle behind them. Why didn’t you ever get to sit by Jake. Or Daniel. Or Josh even?

You pull your phone from your pocket, switching it to airplane mode as you felt the plane begin to taxi. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to the seats next to you, watching as Jake carried on quiet conversation with Y/N. You watched his hands and noticed his body language; you knew what it looked like when a man was interested, and after what you witnessed at the bar last night, you were starting to believe your intuition.

The plane began to move faster, speeding down the runway as it lifted into the air. You always hated this part. Turning your head to the side you watched as Jake gripped Y/N’s hand in his, holding it tightly over her leg. The fuck? You blinked rapidly to make sure you were seeing things clearly, and as you refocused you saw his thumb rubbing over her knuckles in a more than friendly way.

Shit, maybe you were right.

Your forehead wrinkled as you turned your attention to the phone in your lap, mindlessly scrolling through apps that wouldn't work with no service as you let your mind wander. I thought he didn’t have time for things like that? I thought he wanted to keep things professional? At least those were her words. Was this her reason all along? How long has this been going on? 

You thought back to last night, watching as Jake threw a twenty on the table, rushing out the door. Curiosity got the best of you, following him the best you could, but stopping under the awning of the building, the rain pouring down around you. You saw him, standing there, talking to her. Both of them completely soaked as the rain fell relentlessly. You remember snapping a photo, feeling like it was kind of an artsy shot, but not even realizing what you were capturing. 

She played you to get what she wanted, and so did Jake, but if this was how they wanted to play, then game on. 

You watched them as inconspicuously as possible throughout the flight, catching every subtle glance, every tiny touch. They really were doing a bad job at trying to hide it. When the plane landed, he touched her again, grabbing her thigh and rubbing circles with his fingers. 

You grabbed your things and walked with Josh and Daniel to baggage claim, standing around the carousel waiting for your bags. Jake, Y/N, Sam and Elle, eventually joined you, taking a place behind you to wait for their things. 

Daniel found himself in conversation with Jake, and you took your opportunity while you had it, turning to face Y/N, “You know, next time you can put me next to Jake. I’m a nervous flier too, and I’d love to hold his hand like that.”

“He was just being nice, Summer.” she said. Yeah right.

“Yeah, just being nice.” you said sarcastically, turning back around to retrieve your bag. 

She stepped forward grabbing her bag and rolled it towards the sliding doors leading outside.

Piling into the van with all of your luggage and cases was difficult but the ride from the airport was short. When you arrived at the office you unloaded your things into your car, grabbing your camera as you perched yourself in the front seat. As you began flipping through the photos from last night you saw it, one tear stained tour coordinator sobbing on the side stage. Why she was crying as she watched, you weren’t sure, but you were fairly confident it had to do with the long haired guitarist that turned you away.

—

HER POV

You watched the cars pull out of the office parking lot. First Josh, then Daniel, then Sam and Elle. You watched as Summer sat in her car as you made your way inside to deposit paperwork and receipts. Jake followed you inside, leaning against the door frame of the accountants office.

“Do you ever stop working?” he asks.

“Rarely. Takes a lot to keep you boys in check.” you smile, flipping the light switch on your way out of the room. 

You stop in front of Jake, letting his hands glide around your waist. You push his hands down, glancing out the large office windows. “Jake…”

“What baby, she can’t see in here. What is she even still doing here?” he asks.

“Did you hear what she said at baggage claim?” you ask.

“No? What?” he asks.

“She told me to put her next to you on the next flight so she could hold your hand.” you said seriously.

“I was so anxious I didn’t even think about it. I think she knows something is up. Why else would she be sitting in the parking lot?” you ask.

“I didn’t consider that she might see. I’m sorry.” he says, his face dropping in guilt.

You grab his fingers with yours, pulling him closer, “We just have to be careful. People finding out would just be…a mess.” you say.

“I know. I know. Damn, it hasn’t been one day and I already fucked up.” he scolds himself. 

“I’m glad you did it you know…” you say, hoping to lift his spirits.

His eyes flick up to yours, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Instantly made me feel better. Always has.” you smile softly.

He pauses as he stares into your eyes, “Come stay with me.” he breathes.

“Tonight?” you ask. He nods his head in response, sending you your favorite shy smile.

“I need to go home. Get some clean clothes, but…” you pause. “...I guess I don’t see why not.”

“Let me make you dinner?” he asks, bringing your fingers to his lips.

You nod eagerly, hearing nothing but raving reviews about his cooking from Sam the last few months. 

“Then I can kiss you as much as I want?” he asks innocently.

“Until your lips fall off.” you smile, pulling away from him and walking to the door.

As you both step outside, he locks the door behind you, and you notice Summer’s car is gone from the lot. Thank god.

Jake walks you to your car, loading your suitcase into your trunk, and shutting it as you slide into the driver’s seat. 

“See you in a little while?” he asks, leaning on your open door frame.

“I’ll call you when I’m on my way.” you wink as he shuts the door.

—

Stepping into your apartment felt like entering the twilight zone. The last time you were here you were still enjoying your fling with Sam and Jake was still the scar on your heart. My how things have changed.

You rolled your suitcase into your bedroom, and plugged your phone into the charger as you kicked off your shoes. You flopped yourself down on your bed, and took a deep breath taking in the craziness of the last twenty-four hours. 

Did you really have Jake back? You almost couldn’t believe it. It seemed too good to be true. Almost as if he could hear you thinking about him, your phone buzzed with a text.

Jake

6:23pm: Red or White?

Jake

6:24pm: I’m at Kroger if that helps

You smile to yourself as you reply.

You

6:24pm: Red?

Jake

6:25pm: My woman

You

6:26pm: Leaving soon…

You pull yourself up from the bed and make your way into your closet, grabbing a small bag and returning to your bed. You pull your toiletries bag from your suitcase and place it in the bag. You grab a few different options for clothes and throw them in, along with a few silky little things you know he will love. 

You change into an old band t-shirt and a pair of leggings, pulling your hair into a ponytail. You rake yourself over in the mirror as your mind stops you. Is this too casual? This was still new but it was Jake… he didn’t care, right? 

You grabbed your phone from the charger and threw the charger in the bag, making your way to the living room. After a quick water of all of your plants, you grabbed your bag and made your way out the door, bidding your apartment farewell once again.

You had been to Jake’s house a few times over the last few months, the route burned into your brain via the passenger seat of Sam’s car. You knew how to get there, almost like you were drawn to it. He only lived a few minutes away, so as you pulled out of the parking lot you hit his contact and let the line ring.

“Helloooo….” he answers, his voice low and drawn out.

“Hi, I am on my way…” you say.

“Where is your apartment? I’ve never been there… Wait, is it an apartment? Where do you live?” he asks in succession.

You laugh as you answer, “Yes it’s an apartment, in Midtown. I’m only about 10 minutes away.”

“Ooh, college girl lives in college central...” he says playfully.

“I haven’t been called that in years…” you laugh.

“Mmmm…Well, be careful, call me if you get lost. See you in a few?” he asks.

“In a few.” you say ending the call, the butterflies still stirring in your stomach. You never thought you’d be talking to him on the phone like this again, let alone going to stay at his house.

—

Pulling into the driveway you were a pile of nerves. Why were you so nervous? It’s just Jake? You pulled the key from the ignition and grabbed your bag from the front seat, locking your car as you made your way to the door. You took a deep breath as you knocked on the old wooden door, letting it free as he came into view.

Through the glass in the window you watched him walk towards you, a smile on his face as he spun the lock. The door opened before you, and he stepped back, letting you walk inside. 

“I know you’ve been here before but…it feels different this time?” he says nervously rubbing his chin.

You place your bag on the floor, as you approach him, “Give me an official tour?” you ask.

He laces his hand with yours and pulls you into the house further, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

“My bedroom on the left…” he spins you the other way, “My study on the right…”

He leads you up the stairs, and deposits you both on the landing pointing at each room, “Guest room, guest room, bathroom, music room…” 

He pulls you back down the stairs, and past the bedroom, into the open kitchen. 

“Kitchen, obviously.” he smiles. 

You laugh as you lean against his counter, “Thank you for the lovely but brief tour.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to see it all, don’t worry.” he says, grabbing a bottle of wine.

“Oh will I?” you ask.

He turns to look at you, concern written across his face, “I…hope so.”

You smirk at him and look at the bottle in his hands as he twists the corkscrew.

“Can you hand me those glasses behind you, love?” he asks, a softness lacing his voice.

You spin around to see two shining glasses, but they aren’t what catches your eye. In a clear vase sits a small bouquet of white daisies. You feel your heart twist as you look at them. 

“Daisies…” you say, passing him the glasses.

A blush creeps across his cheeks as his eyes meet yours, “Yeah…um…they’re for you. I saw them at the store. I–I always think of you when I see them. Reminds me of that day at the lake, and when we used to play ‘she loves me, she loves me not’. But this time I could finally buy them.”

You step over to him, and wrap your arms around his neck, feeling him set down the bottle and the glass, before wrapping his own around you.

“She does, love you.” you say.

“Mmmm…I will never get tired of hearing it.” he hums.

“You’re sweet. When did you get so sweet, huh?” you ask, your lips tickling his.

He pulls you closer, pressing his lips to yours attaching himself to you. His hand slides up from your waist landing on the back of your neck. His tongue swipes across yours lightly, the warmth of his tongue pressing into your mouth. You let your tongue dance with his for a few minutes as your hands roam his chest and neck. He feels just the same as you remember, something you were never able to forget. 

He pulls away from your lips, peppering soft kisses across your jaw until he finally pulls away, holding your face with his hand. “God, I wanted to do that all day.”

He clears his throat as he continues pouring two glasses of wine, passing the first to you, before tapping his glass to yours in a silent ‘cheers’.

He grabs your hand and brings you to his study, sitting you on his soft leather couch, and placing his wine glass on the coffee table. He walks over to the fireplace, flipping a switch and you watch as it roars to life, illuminating the room in a beautiful amber glow. A satisfied smile crosses his lips as he grabs his glass and joins you on the couch. 

“Your home is beautiful Jake…” you say. “I remember you saying all those years ago, that you wanted a big old house, filled with old things…I think you did it.” you smile, tipping your wine glass to your lips.

He swallows his sip of wine as he stares into the fireplace, “I never thought it would…guess I have you to thank, in a way, I suppose.”

You furrow your brow as you turn to him, “Hmm?”

“Well…You kind of kept me going, even when you were gone. Wouldn’t be here without you I don’t think.” he says.

“Jake, that's not true, you guys were going to make it regardless.” you reply.

“Maybe so. But…that’s not how I see it. The songs that shaped us wouldn’t be what they are if you hadn’t been an influence. On all of us really. Our greatest love songs wouldn’t exist without you.” he adds. “I just wanted you to be proud of me. I didn’t go to college, but you know that… I just wanted to prove that I could be successful without it. Even after you left, I thought maybe you’d see us or hear us... Just wanted you to be proud.”

You quickly place your glass on the table, crawling over him to straddle his lap. You grab his glass and set it on the table with yours before returning your hands to rest on his chest. 

“Jake, I’ve always been proud of you. Always.” you say pushing his hair behind his shoulders. 

“I have never in my life met someone more passionate, talented and creative than you are. When I saw you on the stage for the first time in Nashville…I was a mess. I couldn’t even explain what was going on inside of me. I was bursting with pride for all of you, but…watching you…finally seeing you in your element…I'd never been more proud of you.”

He rests his hands on your hips, letting his thumbs slide between the crease of your legs and hips, as his face grows pink. “Thank you…Couldn’t have done this without you.”

You respond by pressing your lips to his, weaving your fingers through his hair. He opens his mouth to let you in, letting your tongues tangle together as you let your actions match your emotions. He pulls you down harder on top of him, feeling him grow hard beneath you. He glides your hips forwards and backwards over him, as your kisses become more furious. He moves one of his hands to rest on the back of your head, grabbing a handful of your ponytail, and pulling your head back to give himself access to your neck. His lips move across your throat, nipping and kissing small sections until they are pink with evidence.

“Jake…” you whimper.

He growls against your throat as you feel his hips buck upward into you. Your breath hitches in your throat at the contact. In a swift movement he is scooping his arms under your legs and carrying you a few steps down to the floor, laying you in front of his fireplace on the dark burgundy oriental rug.

Laying you on your back he kneels between your legs, letting his body weight rest on his hands around your head.

“You look pretty right here. Like this. With the fire. I can see it flickering in your eyes.” he says, his lips close to yours. His hand dangles around your face, tickling your cheeks as he speaks.

“I thought your brother was the poet…” you tease.

“Ah, lest you forget we are the same.” he smirks.

You bring your hand up to wrap around his neck, resting your fingers at the base of his hair, “No. You’re not. You’re not the same. There’s no one in the world like you, Jake.” 

His lips crashed to yours, as he let himself dip lower towards you. You aren't sure how much time passed as you laid tangled together in front of that fireplace, but as the flames grew hotter, so did the room. Clothes were shed, and a sheen of sweat covered his body, only adding to your desire for him. 

As you pulled away from him, you flipped him to his back, watching his chest move as he caught his breath. Even in the dim firelight you could see his lips, wet and swollen, begging you to come back.

“What are you doing, baby?” he whined.

You grabbed your glasses of wine from the table, and handed his to him. You both drank them down, feeling the alcohol immediately begin to warm your bodies even further. As the glasses emptied you brought yourself to your feet, and scurried back to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle and bringing it back with you. 

You refilled your glasses, and set the bottle on the table as you sipped from your glass again. 

“Are you coming back or are you just going to sit there and look at me over your wine glass?” he jokes.

“I haven’t been able to look at you like this in so long…Just let me...” you replied.

He placed his glass on the floor and put his hands underneath his head. “I know I don’t look the same as I used to I–” you cut him off with your lips.

“I don’t look the same as I used to either, Jake.” you say.

“No, you’re right, you are insanely more gorgeous.” he smiles.

You smile, leaning over him, placing soft kisses down his chest, trailing down his stomach, stopping at the button of his pants. 

Your eyes flick up to his as you silently give him your intentions. “Baby…” he growls.

“Hmmm….” you hum, as your fingers slip the button through the loop.

“What about dinner love, aren’t you hungry?” he asks, sitting up onto his elbows, watching as you slide his zipper down.

“Yes Jake, I’m very hungry…” you smile.

“Y/N…” he groans.

You slide your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down gently with his pants. He lifts his hips to let you slide them completely off, kicking them to the edge of the rug as you move further down his legs. 

You place a wet, open mouthed kiss to his base, causing his hips to jerk upward, the dark dusting of hair soft against your face.

Kissing up his length you watch as he tosses his head back, exposing every ripple in his chest and throat as he breathes. 

You wrap your lips around his tip, letting your tongue swirl around him, and your eyes practically roll back in your head at the taste of him. Just like you remembered.

You take him further into your mouth, letting his tip nudge the back of your throat as you start a rhythm of taking him down and pulling back up. His eyes are locked on yours as you work him, wrapping your hand around his base and letting your lips meet your hand. 

“Fuck…” he groans, watching you take him completely and fully, trying his best not to fuck himself into your throat. But that’s exactly what you wanted. 

You nodded your head at him as your free hand gripped his thigh. His eyebrows raised, as he questioned what you were trying to tell him. You pulled away from him, and swallowed the spit pooling in your mouth. “Do it. I want it.” you said.

You returned your mouth to him as you felt him tense under your lips, “You tell me if it’s too much.” he said, punctuating his sentence with a thrust into your mouth.

“Shit…” he groaned, his hand coming up to hold your ponytail.

He snapped his hips upward again, pressing firmly to the back of your throat. 

“Oh fuck…” he said, throwing his head back. A move you’ve seen time and time again. At least now you knew his headspace when he did it. 

You relaxed your throat, ready to take him further, knowing it would push him over the ledge. With his next thrust you swallowed around him, causing his whole body to tense up beneath you. 

“Fuck. Yeah, I’m not gonna last…God no one’s mouth is as perfect as yours. Fuck you’re fucking perfect.” he said, letting you repeat the action again.

You twisted your hand around his base, rising and descending one more time as you felt his dick twitch in your grip. You cupped his balls in your free hand as you pressed him to the back of your throat, letting him feel your throat tense around him, and as your eyes flicked up to his, you saw him letting go of control.

You felt him shoot down the back of your throat, filling your senses with him. All of him. He held your head in place as you felt him pulsing into your throat. The moan that left his lips had a rush of wetness pooling at your core in a way only he could do. A string of expletives and your name fell from his lips, as his hand gripped into your hair, not wanting to lose even a second of this feeling.

As you swallowed him down, you released him, and left a soft wet kiss on his stomach, just below his belly button. “I love you Jacob, and I love your body. I will love you any way you come, as long as it’s you.”

“I fucking love you too. No one has ever– They never–You– You’re–” he begins to ramble, before stopping and shaking his head.

“No one compares to you.” he finally says. 

You crawl up towards him, letting yourself rest in the crook of his neck. He grabs the back of your knee, pulling your leg to rest over his stomach as you brush the sweaty strands of hair away from his face.

It's quiet for a moment, just the sound of the fireplace and the passing traffic outside. 

“I’m so sorry I wasted all this time feeling sorry for myself when I could have been living the best years of my life, right here with you. I’ll never get them back.” you whisper.

“You know, the other night, Josh told me something. Pulled something from me that I didn’t even really know was there. He said the old cliche line, ‘you don’t know what you have until it's gone’. You know what I said? I told him I knew all along what I had. I never took a second for granted. I knew exactly what I had. I think that’s why it hurt so bad when you left. Because I did know. I knew every single thing I was losing. But god, now I have you…I swear on my life I will do anything and everything that I can to keep you. I’ll never let you go. You’re the one I want. You’re the one I need.”

“Did you just recite song lyrics to me?” you laugh.

He turns to face you, a special glint in his eye as he sits up, bringing you with him. He grabs his boxers, pulling them back on, and standing up. He pulls the curtains closed, before grabbing the wine bottle taking a long drag from its opening.

He walks over to the guitar sitting on the stand in the corner, grabbing it and placing himself in the chair near the fireplace.

“What are you doing?” you ask, pulling your knees to your chest. 

“What I promised myself I would do a long time ago.” he said, placing a pick in his mouth, smiling around it as he began to strum on the old twelve string.

The opening notes are warm and familiar, filling your soul with that nostalgic feeling you longed for since the night you saw him in that bar. He grabbed the pick from his lips and smiled as he played the opening notes. 

“You know, I don’t even know what to play for you first. I’m a little nervous, I’m not gonna lie. Last night you heard this on electric, but that’s not how it’s intended. It’s supposed to sound like this.” he said, playing the familiar tune that made your heart ache. Flower Power.

“Jake…I’ll cry. Do you want me to cry?” you ask, playfully.

“No, no tears…” he says, beginning to play the notes to a different song that you immediately recognize as ‘You’re the One’. You sway on the floor as you watch him play so intently, his eyes never leaving yours. 

The song switches again, something you recognize, but can’t name. It’s beautiful and soft, until he switches to something a little darker, and a little deeper. You sit there watching him play, a private show just for you, until he finishes off his medley with a proud grin.

“I knew the first ones, but I couldn’t name the others.” you say, watching him lean the guitar against the chair.

“Well, that’s because some of them don’t have names. No one else in the world has ever heard them. Just me, and now you. But they are yours. All of those were yours.” he admits, shyly. 

Your eyes well with tears at his confession, “Do they have words?” you ask.

“Some of them. Not all of them. A lot of them were just the best way I could explain my feelings at different points. A lot of those pivotal songs have ended up on our albums…I think one of these might too.” he says.

“Then, it won't be ours?” you ask.

“It will always be ours. But I want to tell the world how much I love you. Waited all my life to love you like this again.”

You blink back tears, knowing if you ask him to elaborate you’ll be a mess.

“What about the last one? It sounded…kind of sad.” you said.

“Yeah…I wrote that when you went away. After Nashville. Didn’t know if you were coming back.” he says.

“I couldn’t really leave you Jake.” you admit. “I just needed to think. All I thought about was you.”

He nods his head, “I know what you mean.”

You tossed back the rest of your wine, the alcohol definitely contributing to the sharing of feelings taking place.  

“I’m sorry about everything Jake. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.” you say.

“I know baby, I know you were just trying to do the right thing.” he says, taking the last sip of his own wine. 

Your eyes scan over the old, worn in guitar, taking in each and every carving on the back, more than you even remember. 

“Do you write all your songs on that guitar?” you ask.

“Not all of them, but the ones that matter the most, seem to come from this one.” he smiles, spinning it around as he looks at it.

“Love this one. Means more to me than most everything I own.” he says.

“You know, when I got back from the Fourth…it was gone. I panicked. I looked everywhere for it.” he said.

“Where was it?” you asked.

“Well, Sophia had decided that it needed to be “fixed up” and took it to have it sanded down and refinished.” he said, a bit of venom lacing his words.

You gasped as you threw your hand over your mouth. No.

“Exactly. That was my reaction too. She didn’t understand why it was special. Not that she ever could. Kept calling it an old beat up guitar or something like that. I was pissed. Left immediately to go pick it up, and thankfully they hadn’t done anything yet but remove the strings.”

“Oh my god.” you said, full of shock.

“I know. I got lucky. I knew right then that her and I were done. She would never respect something like this. She didn’t respect me either apparently. Anyways, yeah. I love this one. Makes me think of you everytime I hold it. Little pieces of you all around.” he said, placing it back in the stand. 

“You’re kind of romantic, you know?” you say playfully.

“Ahh…just for you.” he winks.

Your stomach growling, draws your attention to the fact that neither of you had eaten. “Gosh what time is it? I'm starving.” you ask, looking around the room.

Jake points to a small clock on the bookshelf behind you, “10:57”. He answers.

“Oh my gosh, Jake… have we really been…that caught up?” you laugh.

A smile spreads across his face, “I can go get started on dinner…” he says, grabbing the empty bottle of wine as he rises to his feet. 

“Jake, no…It’s so late. You don’t have to cook a whole meal, we can do it tomorrow or–” you stop yourself realizing what you’d implied.

A knowing grin stretches across his lips, “Tomorrow, huh?”

“No, I didn’t mean to invite myself over, I just meant if you wanted to cook it tomorrow instead you coul–” his laugh cuts you off. 

“Dinner, tomorrow. For real this time, okay?” he says, picking up on your nervous energy and quickly calming it.

You nod bashfully, as he makes his way out of the room, but he stops in the doorway, turning to look at you.

“I think I have something you’ll like instead. Stay here. I’ll be right back.” he says, with a smirk as he walks to the kitchen.

You stood up, walking over to the bookshelf as you heard his feet pad to the kitchen. You scanned the spines on the shelf, stories of history, pirates, and war filling the spaces. Even rock stars need an escape sometimes. You look at the pictures framed in silvers and golds that adorn the shelves, faces you knew, some you didn’t, but one in particular catching your eye near the bottom. You, Sam, and Jake, standing in front of the Kiszka house, just shortly before your Senior year of highschool.

You remember that morning pulling up into their driveway, Sam running out the door with his backpack and his breakfast, a chaotic mess. Karen bursting out the door after him insisting on taking a picture of the two of you. You begrudgingly turned your car off and walked up to the porch with Sam. Just as she was about to snap the photo Jake walked out in nothing but his sweats, and you could hardly take your eyes off of him. 

Karen forced him into the photos with you, instructing you all to smile as she shot the photo. You never saw the final product, and seeing it now on his bookshelf you wonder why it’s here, and why it has such a prominent place on the shelf. 

“I woke up early that morning. Dragged myself out of bed just to see you in the driveway.” Jake whispers over your shoulder, causing you to jump. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to look through your stuff.” you said. “You scared me.” 

“Got the call later that day that they signed us for the first album…Wouldn’t have ever happened without the two of you.” he says.

You turned to face him, watching as he set two plates on the coffee table, chuckling under his breath at the shock written on your face. You stepped around him towards the table, feeling light headed from the wine as you sat down on the floor. He sat next to you, pushing a plate towards you. 

Looking at it you felt your chest grow warm, “Are these–”

“Yeah. Always stuck with me that they're your favorite.” he smiled shyly.

Two perfectly made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sat on the black plate. He remembered.

“After I saw the flowers at the store, I was like, “What else could I get for her?” and I remembered they were your favorite midnight snack, or they used to be. Next thing I knew I found myself in front of the peanut butter debating on crunchy or smooth. I knew it wouldn’t matter but, I tried to remember your favorite…wait do you even like these still? If not I can probably make something els–” you cut him off pressing your lips to his cheek. 

“They’re my favorite. You’re my favorite. Better than any fancy dinner you could ever make for me.” you say picking up the first one, taking a bite.

“Grape jelly?” you giggle.

“Is there really any other option?” he laughs, biting into his own.

“No, and anyone who says there is, is just wrong.” you giggle.

As the two of you sat there, talking and drunk giggling over your makeshift dinner you realized that it wouldn’t matter if the band never took off. If they never made it out of Frankenmuth. It was never about that. Sure you were proud of him. But you didn't love Jake because of who he was now. Not the things he could give you, or do for you in his newfound fame. You loved him because he saw you the same as you saw him. You loved him for who he was before all of this. When he was just Sam’s mysterious older brother who made you blush in the kitchen. You loved him because he loved you. Deep, vast and unwavering. 

You knew right then that every single night could end with PB&J’s at the coffee table, and you’d love every second of it, as long as it was him there next to you.

—

After one more glass of wine and a few more laughs, the both of you decided on a quick shower, before you got into bed. Jake's bedroom was warm and inviting, and exactly what you imagined for him. Dark colors, and rich gold tones instantly calming your mood upon entry. 

Washing off the travel day with Jake next to you was nothing short of blissful. The steam from the shower relaxed your tense muscles as you worked the shampoo and conditioner through your hair. His peppermint scented products added to the aromatherapy aspect, relaxing you further, until you were practically on autopilot to the bedroom. It had been a long couple of days and you were ready to melt into the bed for a while, completely undisturbed and wrapped in Jake. 

Pulling your brush through your hair, you decided on sleeping in the nude tonight, wanting nothing more than to feel his body on yours. You slipped into the bed, as Jake followed suit. He flipped the knob on his lamp, and pulled you into his arms, his bed smelling wholly and completely of him. Immersed in the scent and feel of him around you, you knew it would only be seconds until you were drifting off. 

“I never thought I’d get this…” he whispered into your hair.

“What? Wet hair in your face?” you joked.

“No, my girl, in my bed. Everything seems… like it’s in its place.” he said, trying to make sense of his emotions.

“I’m happy too Jake. More than I can say.” you reply.

His arm tightened around your waist, as his body conformed around yours, feeling every inch of him pressed tightly to you.

“Tell me you’re mine, just one more time…” he breathed.

“I’m yours, I always have been, and I will be until we take our last breath. And maybe even after that too. Wherever we end up, I know I’ll be there with you.”

JAKE POV

Don’t laugh…don’t laugh...

You had awoken to the feeling of the lightest touch of a fingertip grazing your lips, and the feeling of a warm and steady exhale on your face. You pretended to stay asleep, savoring this moment with everything you had. 

She’s in your bed. She’s really here. This hasn’t all been a dream…

Her single fingertip was tickling your lips and nose, drifting from your cheeks, across your chin and back up the other side. You tried to keep your eyes from flitting, giving her any indication that you were awake. But god, it tickled. You tried to think about anything else to distract yourself from it, mostly imagining how her face must look right now. Taking you in, memorizing your new, more aged features. Feeling such simple intimacy with only the slightest touch. 

Her finger grazed your lip again, and you opened your mouth slightly to catch it, pinching it between your lips. You opened your eyes just enough to see her face, her head propped up on one elbow as she stared at you. 

“I knew you were awake. I was seeing how long it took for you to break.” She smiled softly, sleep lacing her voice. 

You released her finger. “No you didn’t, you were just enjoying staring at my beautiful face, weren’t you?” You teased through your own sleepy haze. 

Her giggle filled the air in your room, and the dreams you were having about her finally cleared away enough for you to come out of unconsciousness. You snaked your arm around her, bringing her unclothed body to lay on top of yours. 

“Mmm, never got dressed, huh?” You said, bringing your mouth to kiss her chest and the curve of her breasts, leaving a trail of wet spots across her skin as she leaned forward into you. You brought her nipple into your mouth, giving it the tiniest nibble before spiraling your tongue around it. 

She brought her knees up to your sides, sitting her warmth on top of your unapologetic morning wood. She raised her eyebrows as she noticed your situation. 

“Nope, if I would’ve had clothes on I wouldn’t have been able to do this first thing.” She sat down on you, swaying and shaking her hips against your length, making you all but quiver underneath her. 

Just the contact of her skin on yours was intoxicating enough to bring you plummeting into craving her, again and again and again. You could feel the warmth of her parted lips on your dick as she massaged her swollen bud against you, up and down and in little circles, sending herself into bliss. 

“God, I fucking love you, Y/N.” The words escaped your lips as you reached your hand to hold her neck from behind, pulling her into a deep kiss as she teased you. 

She inhaled sharply at your confession mixed with your tongue exploring her mouth, swirling and moving in all the right ways to bring you closer and closer to giving up, and grabbing her hips and lining yourself up. 

She began to move her hips in a figure-eight motion, her pooling wetness making everything extra slick. Your hands did end up finding her hips, grasping at them and helping her ride. 

Watching her move against you was like watching a secret film made just for you, for your eyes only. You watched as her torso muscles contracted as she pulled her slick across you, your fingertips digging into her sides as you held on. You lifted her off of you just slightly, trying your best to guide yourself inside her. Your head was spinning in its still sleepy state, and you were unable to formulate any coherent thoughts. 

She stiffened, tightening her muscles just enough to sturdy her body from moving any further down on you. 

“Ah-ah.” She shook her head, telling you to cease your controlling moves. Fuck. She continued rolling her hips in all directions, causing you to begin to come undone without any penetration whatsoever. Finally, she let your head slip in just slightly, maybe an inch, before pulling herself right back off again and continuing her tortuous movements. 

“Godddd what the hell are you trying to do to me?” You gritted your teeth together, feeling absolutely out of control, and loving it. 

Then she did it again, letting you in just the tiniest bit. She started to slowly bounce, never letting you in more than a few inches. She squeezed around your tip, causing you to tilt your head back in pure euphoric heaven. A moan escaped your lips; she hardly has done anything at all, and you’re already falling apart and at her mercy. 

Suddenly she bottomed out, taking all of you inside her in one single motion. She sat for a second, adjusting herself. Instead of pulling herself up on you, she simply began to rock her hips, circling them slowly with the tiniest motions. You weren’t sure how, but she was already bringing you to the edge, and she hadn’t even begun really anything at all. She sat almost still, squeezing herself around you, barely moving her hips…letting you truly feel her. She sat back on you, grabbing onto your legs behind her. The visual was insane. Your hands found her breasts again, and you wrapped each hand around their curves, massaging them lightly. 

You sat up, meeting her face to face, chest to chest. You wrapped your arms around her and pulled her impossibly close. She never stopped her grinding, her tiny calculated movements causing you to hit her differently now in this new position. Her legs were wrapped tightly around you, and you found your vision beginning to blur at the sight of her coming closer to her own release. 

“Keep going baby…don’t fight it...” you whispered. 

“Jake…you feel...” she spoke quietly, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back as she tightened around you, letting her release wash over her. That was all it took, you were collapsing below her, still holding her to you while you released slow and deep into her. Her whimpers carried out through the room, taking your mind right along with them. After a few seconds, you lifted her head back up to meet yours, foreheads touching as you both breathed yourselves down from your highs. 

She was here. She was real. And there was no other way you wanted to wake up for the rest of your life. 

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Part 13

Taglist:

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner @eyelinerjake@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123 @reesetrippingthelight @lightmylove-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf@fulltimecynical @little-bit-of-monica@ageofbajabule @ageofsinners@indigostreakslut @profitofthedune @katelynn-gvf

[autffiy]

My supernatural DR Stories part 1

Hello lovelies,

As promised I would tell you some of my favorite little stories from my Supernatural DR. Grab a coffee, tea or water because hell, this uis going to be a multi part series i think. I got so much to tell.

Mind you.. this is not series accurate so please don't come for me thank tou very much.

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First of all, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my DR self. So you guys can get to know my DR self a little better! {this will be written in my DR POV, little snippets from my DR journal. how fun.} I started writing this journal in September when I hadn't even met the Winchester brothers yet. So you will follow me on my journey when I meet the Winchesters. I started writing in this journal to keep up with my cases... and all the weird stuff happening around me.

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"So my name is Ashly Rowan, I'm a 22 year old girl who is currently moving from motel to motel because ha... i don't have a fucking steady job.. or a home. I drive a sage green 1975 ford F-100 which i sleep in most days... not the most comy tbh. It is now, september 1st when i'm starting to write this journal. I'm now in a motel in Little Rocks- Arkansas. Trying to figure out one of those stupid cases again... on my own. It's a vampire case, nothing too bad. Wish dad was here, he would be.. well probably in shock that i didn't do anything like college or something like that. But also would be proud that i was hunting the thing he got killed by....."

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"I'm currently writing in my car.. I'm on my way to Bobby's house. Bobby Singer.. that old man. Sweet, but feisty and well.. old. But nothing i can't handle. I need his help with a case. Some nasty skin walker a few towns ahead. I need his advice.. and possible help because hell that thing escaped me many.. many times. My ribs are bruised.. and i have a few cuts on my face. Nothing to worry about. I found out that dad had some connection with the supernatural world before he died... but what?? That's what i need to find out.. Maybe i can ask Bobby? Anyhow.. I'm going to sleep now.. in my car in a parking lot at a gas station. Woohoo... goodnight."

The following day on october 31st, Halloween moring i drove the last bit to Bobby's house. Franticly knocking on his door. That's when i met Sam and Dean, their dad went on a hunting trip and hadn't come back. And Sam's girlfriend Jessica got burned up in flames a couple day's prior. Just how their mom died.. Well that's what they told me. I knew a little bit about John Winchester, because various hunters had told me about him. From what i heard he was a prick... but i didn't say that to their faces obviously.

Fast forward a few days later where the boys helped me take down the shapeshifter. We tracked its location down, it was staying in a sewer, of course. We made a game plan. All would enter different entrances of the sewer. So we could lock it in. This was I think one of the most terrible cases ever, so yada yada ya we walked our paths, all circling the skinwalker now. Then it decided to fucking run my way??? So now o was standing there.. in a sewer, covered in fucking slimy, bloody skin walker skin. Since Dean decided to blow that fuckers head off out of reflex. Fantastic... Definitely what I planned. We ended up cleaning off at the motel and meeting back at a diner to grab some food...

So this was basically my first few weeks in my DR. It was nightmare fuel in some ways, skinwalkers are definitely terrifying and I hate them. But even though, it was pretty fun if I say so. The brothers are so funny and sweet.

I will make other parts of this soon, i loveee telling you guys about my stories. Feel free to ask any questions, i'm happy to answer them.

xoxo alli.

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[lemoncrushh]

Kiss Me Kiss Me

Summary: Samantha and Harry's story of young romance and a first kiss.

Warnings: None (see note below)

Word Count: 2795

A/N: This is a cute, sweet one shot from my 2017 collection. It's written from two points of view. Please note, this is purely innocent, nothing sexual, just kissing. But if reading about teenage Harry gives you the ick, please pass on this one. Title is taken from the 5SOS song.

here's to teenage memories...

Samantha's POV

Harry was my first. No, not that first. And not my first love either. Not even my first boyfriend really, because whatever it was we were doing, I wouldn't constitute as dating. I don't really know what we were. Just...friends? Hanging out? Whatever you'd wanna call it.

Okay, okay so I had a terrible crush on him. But my point is, he was the first boy I'd ever kissed.

And what a kiss it was... To this day I can still remember it, still remember what it felt like. I even remember what I was wearing, as silly as that sounds.

I was chatting on the phone with my friend Carolyn one night and somehow the subject of kissing came up. Truthfully, that was no surprise since most of our conversations ended up circling back to boys. I just always got nervous when this particular topic arose, since I had yet to kiss a boy. Carolyn claimed she'd kissed four, but I always felt like she was lying about at least two. I just never called her on it. That's just not what friends do, and because I knew she was telling the truth about Ron since I'd seen them kiss with my own eyes, I let the little fib slide.

This particular night, I allowed Carolyn to describe what it felt like. She said it really depended on the guy and how he kissed, how soft his lips were, how much he used his tongue...things like that. I only half listened, though I was curious. I just felt left out.

"You should get Harry to kiss you," she finally proclaimed.

"Um..." I nervously chuckled. "Why?"

"So you'll know what it's like," she replied.

Carolyn was the only person who knew I fancied Harry, at least to my knowledge. But like the good friend she was, she never mocked me or embarrassed me when he was around.

"But why Harry?" I asked, picking at the blanket that covered my bed. "He doesn't like me...in that way."

"But you like him. And besides, who says he doesn't like you?"

"Who says he does?"

I heard Carolyn sigh through the phone, an indication that she was annoyed. The truth was, I was dying for Harry to kiss me. But I had a feeling he'd kissed a lot of girls. And I would just pale in comparison.

"Sam," she said, "have you even given him any clue?"

"No," I muttered softly.

"Then how's he gonna know?"

She had a point.

Harry's POV

Samantha and I had become friends. We hung out a lot, so much in fact that if I was to knock on her door at any given time, I could hear her mum calling her up the stairs telling her Harry's here before she even greeted me.

One Friday evening I stopped by unannounced as usual, Mrs. Cooper inviting me into the kitchen to test some scones she'd just finished baking. I was halfway biting through the pastry when I heard Sam descending the stairs.

"Hey," she grinned when she saw me. Then she turned to her mum. "You know, just because he works in a bakery doesn't mean he knows everything about baking."

I shook my head as I swallowed. "'s fine. I still have the ability to taste."

She gave me a look as she reached for a scone. "Well, so do I."

Mrs. Cooper paid Samantha no mind as she set a cup of tea in front of me. I smiled and told her thank you as Sam took a seat across from me. We ate in silence until I took the last sip of tea and wiped my hands on a napkin.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I asked her.

"Sure," she nodded, rising from her chair.

I heard her mum tell her not to be too late, it was getting dark as we walked to the front door and Sam grabbed her jacket. I told Mrs. Cooper thank you once more before shutting the door behind us.

We walked side by side, our hands in our pockets until we came to the end of the street and turned right, heading toward my house. I saw Sam take her phone out of her pocket once and type something on it in haste before shoving it back.

I wanted to say something. Anything. It seemed lately that our conversations had become little more than "what's up" and "do you have to work tomorrow?" I wasn't exactly sure why. It used to be that I could bring up any topic and we could have an hour long discussion about it. Perhaps we had run out of things to talk about. Or maybe...the vibe had shifted.

We came upon the park that acted as the halfway point between her house and mine. We strolled through, stopping at the swings, each of us taking one.

"You okay?" I finally asked her, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

She looked at me, her big eyes wide. "Yeah, why?"

I shrugged, kicking the dirt underneath my feet. "You just seem...different."

"How so?"

"Quiet."

She bit her lip. "Sorry. Don't mean to be."

"Did something happen?" I inquired.

She shook her head. "No." Then she smiled at me. "I'm fine. Really."

I nodded as she began to kick her legs up to swing. I watched her for a minute or two, her hair flying behind her as she swung forward, then blowing in her face as she came back. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach, though I wasn't sure why.

I'd always thought Samantha was pretty. And if it hadn't been for the fact that we'd become close and I considered her one of my best mates, I probably would have asked her out by now. Hell, I probably would've even kissed her. But I got the feeling the opportunity had passed. We were in the friend zone.

Sam slowed down, her Converse sliding across the ground to stop herself. She ran her fingers through her hair to fix what the wind had messed up, though if I was being honest, it looked perfect.

"So do you have to work tomorrow?" she asked me.

I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it.

"What's so funny?" she glared at me.

"Nothing," I shook my head though I was still laughing.

"Liar." Samantha hopped up out of her swing and started to walk away. I caught up to her at the pavement.

"Sam, I'm sorry," I said. "I'm not laughing at you."

"Then what are you laughing at?" Her expression was serious, her mouth in a straight line.

"Why are you being weird?"

"Why are you?"

"'m not!" I exclaimed.

"Sure, Harry," she shoved her hands in her pockets again. "I'm going home."

I groaned as I began to follow her, unsure whether she actually wanted me to or not. We walked in silence for a while until she stopped and I almost ran into her.

"Why are you following me?" she asked.

"Because I get the feeling you don't want me walking beside you."

She rolled her eyes. "I mean, why are you still here? Your house is that way."

I felt like she'd just punched me in the gut. There were a million things I wanted to say then, and part of me felt like just turning around and walking to my house. Instead I took a step towards her.

"Because it's getting dark," I muttered. "So I'm walking you home."

Her face softened as she took a hand out of her pocket to run through her hair again.

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "Thanks."

I lifted my own hand to brush back the strand of hair that had stuck to her cheek. She flinched slightly, but didn't back away.

"You know, if there's something on your mind," I said softly, "you can tell me. We're friends, yeah?"

She blinked, her eyelashes fluttering against her pink cheeks.

"Yeah," she breathed.

Somehow, I knew...in that moment...that I could have kissed her. I wanted to kiss her. But I didn't.

Samantha's POV

I'd almost thought he was gonna kiss me then. Maybe if I'd stood there a few more seconds, he would have. But I was chicken and turned around and kept walking.

This time, however, Harry didn't walk behind me. In fact, he took my hand which I took as a good sign. We'd never held hands before, and it felt nice.

I was relieved when we fell into an actual conversation. He asked what my weekend plans were, and I confessed that other than a trip to my Gram's for Sunday dinner, I had nothing going on. He said he did have to work the next day, early in fact, which I kind of already knew.

When we reached my house, he walked me up the steps but shook his head when I asked if he was coming in.

"Gotta get up early," he reminded me.

I smiled as he squeezed my hand, then backed away, almost tripping over himself. I giggled as he turned and ran down the steps, giving me one last wave.

"Tell your mum the scones were delicious, but I liked the biscuits the best."

I grinned as I shut the door, but stayed by the window to watch him walk down the street. When he'd disappeared, I ran upstairs and quickly called Carolyn back to tell her what happened. She declared that she wasn't sure which of us what the bigger idiot.

I'd had a dream that night. It felt so real, which didn't make sense given that I'd never kissed a boy before. But in my dream Harry was kissing me. And not only could I feel his soft lips against mine, but I could also feel his breath against my skin, his hands on my waist.

I woke up earlier than I ever had in my life, except for maybe when I was little, and Mum and I were going on holiday and had to catch the train. I took a hot shower and brushed my teeth, carefully choosing a dark red jumper and black jeans. After tying my Converse, I brushed my hair until it shined, the locks flowing across my shoulders. I felt pretty.

Mum wasn't awake yet, so I left her a note, telling her I'd return with breakfast. Then I grabbed my keys and locked the door behind me.

I was only a little more than halfway to the bakery when I could already smell the aroma. I smiled to myself as I came around the corner, the cheerful sign greeting me. As I walked in, the scent of freshly baked bread hit me in the face, and I took in a deep breath.

The woman behind the counter beamed at me, quickly asking if she could help me. I felt my cheeks flush as I wrung my hands.

"Um...is...um...Harry here?" I stammered. Yep, I was an idiot.

"Harry!" she called out in singsong, not bothering to peel her gaze from me.

Just then, the door next to her swung open and out stepped Harry, an apron tied around himself. He immediately smiled when he saw me, his dimples dipping in his cheeks.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Getting breakfast."

Harry shifted his eyes back and forth, a smirk on his face. "Alright then. That's a first."

"It's not unusual," I remarked.

"It is for you. It's Saturday. And barely six a.m."

"I woke up hungry."

Harry continued to stare at me incredulously until my mouth broke into a smile. It seemed I had rendered him speechless, and for once I felt proud, and a little brave. He cleared his throat and looked at the older woman whom with a shooing motion told him to take a break.

Wiping his hands on his apron, Harry followed me outside and around the side of the building. When I stopped, I turned around and leant against the wall. It was barely sunrise, the sky still overcast, making it seem even darker. But I could see perfectly clearly.

"Hi," I grinned.

"Hi," he smiled back, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

"How are you?"

"I'm...okay. Sam...what..."

"Sorry," I shook my head nervously. "I'm probably weirding you out."

"No...I just..."

"Do you like me?" I blurted. There. I said it.

Harry's eyes opened wide like saucers. If I wasn't so focused on what I was trying to do, I would have burst out laughing. As it was, I let out a slight giggle when he stumbled over his next words.

"Do...do I...of course...I-"

"I mean..." I stepped closer to him, taking his hand. "I mean like me."

Harry licked his lips and smiled at the ground. "Well...Samantha, you're my friend."

My heart plummeted down by chest. I leant back against the wall again, dropping his hand and picking at my nail polish.

"I see," I muttered. That was it then. He'd answered my question. Not with the answer I was hoping for, but an answer nonetheless.

"But yeah," I heard him say.

"What?" I lifted my head just in time to see his face coming toward mine, his hands at my waist.

It was just like in my dream. His lips brushed mine softly just before I closed my eyes. I was grateful that he knew what he was doing, because I probably would have just been a mess, knocking noses and teeth and whatnot. But he lifted his hand to touch my cheek, his thumb grazing my jaw as his mouth pressed harder, taking first my top lip, then my bottom between his.

I didn't know what to do with my hands so I merely placed them on his chest. With his body against mine, my back against the wall, I knew he had to hear how fast my heart was beating. The air was permeated with the scent of wheat and sugar, and I felt like I was intoxicated. Harry separated the kiss momentarily, his green eyes gazing into mine.

"I do like you," he declared. For a moment my head was spinning until I understood he was finishing his response to my question.

"Oh," I barely breathed.

The corners of his mouth curved up into a tiny grin before he tilted his head and kissed me again.

Harry's POV

She tasted like mint and smelled like strawberries. It was a wonder I noticed through the heavy aroma coming from the bakery, but I reckon I was immune to it by that point. She was all I could concentrate on, and I couldn't get enough.

Though I wasn't a hundred percent certain, I got the feeling Samantha hadn't been kissed before. Not that she was a bad kisser by any means. Or awkward even. Just the way she was stood against the wall, her body tense, her jaw tight. She didn't seem to know what to do with her hands either, but when she put them on my chest I was fine with that. It wasn't until I let her take a breath and assured her that I liked her that I felt her relax. I slipped my tongue inside then, and I felt her jolt a bit, but she soon seemed to enjoy the sensation, even letting her tongue poke into my mouth.

I released my hand from her waist then, taking her face in both of my hands. She seemed to like that, even make a cute little sound and allowed her own arms to wrap around my back.

We continued to kiss for several minutes. Alright, maybe not that long, but it seemed like it. When I lifted my head that time, I studied her face, her kiss-swollen lips slightly parted. God, she was pretty.

I actually saw her chest fall then as she let out a deep breath. I took that as a good sign. Trying my best not to be cocky, I smiled at her.

"I gotta get back to work," I said, my voice coming out raspy.

Samantha nodded a few times before whispering, "Okay." Then she blinked, stood up straight and released her arms from me. "Um...I told my mum I'd bring breakfast. So...I better buy something."

She gave a cute little nervous giggle that probably embarrassed her more than she'd have liked it to. I grinned as she cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair, then tugged at the hem of her jumper.

"C'mon," I held out my hand for her. "Our scones aren't as good as hers, but we have some Danishes that are out of this world."

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

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[golbrocklovely]

we went mad // sam and colby

A/N: let me tell you a story of how this came to be. i obviously got the idea from the scream franchise, in particular scream 2 which is set at a college. so originally i wrote this in second person, but i felt like i had already written pretty much everything up until now in that pov, so i had to switch ALL of the writing i had done (which was most of it) over to first person. and then… i had to finish writing it. and that for some reason just took so long for me. i think part of the issue was that when i originally came up with the idea of this fic, i saw the ending, and that was it. i wanted the famous kitchen scene with billy, stu, and syd, but god… getting there was no cake walk. thank christ i'm done with this fic. it's definitely one of my longer ones. let me know what you think ! hope you enjoy :)

prompt: someone on campus is killing all of your ex-classmates. and you fear you're next. || college!sam and colby x reader

trigger warning: murders, slightly gore and blood mentions, cursing, college setting, parties, drinking, douchy/emotionless bf, mentions of hs bullying, surprise/rollercoaster ending

word count: 6582

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How could you have missed the signs? How could you not have known all this time?

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Sam and Colby had talked about moving away from our hometown for years. They had major plans to move to L.A. and become big. But instead, they decided to go to our local state college with me, and half of our graduating class. And while I was confused by their choice, I was happy nonetheless. They were my best friends, and I was upset thinking that I wouldn’t see them anymore after graduation. But I understood why they wanted to get away in the first place: everyone at our school bullied them. The number of times Sam and Colby had been shoved into lockers, or had food thrown at them in the cafeteria, or were just badmouthed... let's just say that high school was nothing short of hell for them.

Freshman year of college, while stressful, was fantastic. We all lived on campus, our dorms across the street from one another. Hell, I could even see their dorm from my window. We took a lot of the same core classes together, always making sure to work on projects and help each other out. We hadn’t decided our majors yet and knew that this would be the only time we could be in the same classes together.

Things were good for a long time, all the way through the end of sophomore year. I was so excited to start the next half of college. It felt like the home stretch, even if we weren’t close to graduating yet.

But our relationship changed, our friendship drifted apart. By the start of junior year, we were no longer friends. And the major reason for it? I started dating someone from our old high school. I had met him at the end of sophomore year and dated him secretly during the summer. His name was Davis, and back in high school, he was popular. He got into this university on a sports scholarship.  And you might be wondering, was Davis someone that bullied Sam and Colby? No, he wasn’t. But he was friends with those that did.

I didn’t know that until I was already dating Davis. It was hard to keep up with who did and didn’t bully Sam and Colby back in the day. I told Davis to apologize to Sam and Colby for what his friends did. At first he was a bit confused, but he did it regardless. Sure, it was at a party and he was kind of drunk. But it still counted… right? He later texted the guys about it and they said they accepted his apology.

However, they couldn’t forgive me for dating someone like that. So, our friendship just… died.

But even though I wasn’t their friend anymore, I still knew them pretty well. And the moment we were no longer friends, something felt… off about them. We still shared the occasional class, so I saw them every other day. They seemed darker, broodier. And only ever with one another. But that wasn't that unusual for them. They relied on one another a lot.

On a cool fall day, shocking news broke on campus: someone was killed right outside the dorms late last night. Classes were immediately cancelled. Everyone was on edge. The university did its best to calm the nerves of its students, siting that we were in a major city and cities tend to have random killings happen. Police stayed on campus for the next couple days, and partying was prohibited.

Of course, that didn't stop the frat houses from throwing "secret" keggers in their basements. I didn't really want to go, but Davis begged me to. That I should "live on the edge" since I was never really a go-getter. So I went, and I was surprised to see Colby at the party. I waved at him, but his eyes glared back, and then behind me. I turned to see Davis, my face immediately dropping. I didn't see Colby the rest of the night.

The next day, the police finally released the name of the person that was killed on campus. It was in fact a student, but that didn’t mean there was an issue on campus itself. Since we lived in the city, bad things were bound to happen to us too.

The name sounded familiar, and it finally clicked: it was someone from our graduating class. James Cooper. I didn’t know him all that well, but I was still sad to hear he was killed.

Davis sort of knew the guy too; he had been on the hockey team. They had gone to parties together before, but he wasn't close to him. It clicked for me even more when Davis mentioned the hockey team: that guy shoved Sam and Colby into lockers our freshman year to impress his friends. He was a major dick to them for a while, until finally getting onto the hockey team and just ignoring all classmates that were "underneath" him.

…Maybe karma actually did work.

Less than a week later, another person was killed. This time it was a girl. She was found just outside of the library in some bushes. I knew who she was, remembering her from high school. She was a cheerleader, both years ago and now. Lizzie Campbell.

This was all so weird to me. In the two years of being on campus, I had barely heard about any robberies or petty crimes happening, let alone two murders. And on top of that, two of my ex-classmates? Davis shrugged it off, saying it was just a coincidence. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of something not being right about all of this.

And as time went on, my suspicions became more of a premonition.

Two more students, back-to-back, were found. But what made it worse was this time one was in the dorms. And it was in my dorm too, two floors down. Security had everyone on that floor evacuate and go to other dorms for the time being. I, and many other students, didn’t feel safe in the building. I decided to stay over at Davis’ frat house.

They ended up throwing a last-minute party that weekend. I begged Davis to tell his brothers not to throw one, especially because of how insensitive it was and that they could be fined for it. He told me it was out of his hands, that he didn’t decide whether parties happened or not.

How could he be so blasé about these deaths, especially since he even knew these people?

This was a side to him I had never seen, and I didn’t like it one fucking bit. I couldn’t stay there that night, so I trudged back to my dorm room. On my way there, I ran into Sam.

It was awkward to say the least. We talked briefly, and I told him how I planned to stay in my dorm since I couldn’t stay at Davis’. Sam offered his and Colby’s dorm instead; that it was much safer than mine, especially since I would be alone.

Part of me didn’t want to go to their dorm, mostly because of everything going on between us. But he was right about it being safer, and I did miss them a lot.

I followed Sam back to his dorm. He informed me that Colby was out working on a project and wouldn’t be back until later. Their dorm was nice and spacious, the benefit of being an upperclassman. It was like a mini apartment in some ways. We relaxed in their living room area and chatted for a bit. Eventually, the topic of conversation fell onto the recent murders. Sam spoke of whispers around campus that the killer wore a mask shaped like a melted ghost’s face, that that was how he got in and out of the dorms. My skin crawled at the thought of seeing that mask and prayed that that wasn’t the case. The killer could be anyone on campus, just lurking in the shadows.

I had this urge inside of me to tell Sam my theory. I knew we weren’t close anymore, but I felt like he was the only one that would believe me.

I explained to him what I thought was happening: how all of the people that had been killed on campus were from our old high school. The killer was attacking those from our high school only, possibly hunting them down for some unknown reason. Sam questioned if that was true for the newer victims.

We looked up the email from the university, speaking on the recent victims. "The selfish murders of Christopher Smith and Sara Goodwin..." Chris was from my homeroom. He was on the swim team. He won tons of medals and was celebrated. And Sara… she had dated the quarterback sophomore year and was generally a popular person.

Oh god, I think I’m right.

Sam was surprised at how on point I seemed to be. It was a nice change of pace compared to being shrugged off by Davis. But he didn’t fully agree with my idea. He considered that maybe this was a huge coincidence, that maybe the killer wasn’t targeting our class, just the people that still hung out with one another. Maybe all the victims – Chris, Sara, Lizzie, and James – were all friends and the person that murdered them knew them all and was picking them off.

I snorted, "And what? They saw something they shouldn’t and now they're getting I Know What You Did Last Summer-ed?"

"That could be it." He replied.

I sassed. "You can't be serious, Sam."

But he was. He didn’t argue that he was right, just that if someone was attacking our graduating class, or our old high school, they would have to kill half the population of the university. So, it was unlikely that that was happening. Maybe Sam was right about that. Sure – there was definitely a connection. But it sounded more plausible that Sam was right on his part in some way.

Sam decided to call it night not too long after, stating he had early classes the next morning. I dozed off an hour after he went to bed, sleeping on their somewhat comfortable couch.

I jolted awake suddenly, the front door unlocking slowly. It opened, and Colby tip-toed in. His eyes locked with mine, and they widened.

“Hey…” He mumbled awkwardly.

He wondered what I was doing in their dorm, and I told him what happened with me and Sam. I asked him where he was all night, glancing at the neon red lights of the clock shining back 3:20 AM. Colby spoke of a crazy party at one of the frat houses.

But didn’t Sam say…? Whatever.

I nodded my head at him, yawning loudly. He smiled, said goodnight, and shuffled off to bed.

The news broke two hours later - another body was found. Michelle Robinson. And this time, it was right outside of Davis' frat. He even saw the killer, or who he thought it could have been. A guy dressed in all black with a cloak and a mask running away from the house. But no one saw the body until the morning.

The mask… just like Sam said.

Campus was immediately shut down, all classes resuming online. Absolutely NO parties. How could the university think people were going to be able to learn when there was a killer on the loose? It was insanity to me.

I was forced back into my dorm. Police raided every car and dorm on campus to find clues. They determined after a thorough search that the killer wasn’t a student, just someone that new the dorms well. No evidence was found linking a current student to the killings.

The day the police announced this, I got a very strange text.

UNKNOWN: if they only knew....

I didn’t know the number or what it possibly could have meant. I tried not to think about it, already too concerned with everything else going on. The next day, however, I got another text from the same number.

UNKNOWN: what's it like knowing that people are dying on campus but your bf is throwing another party??? it’s almost like he’s celebrating their deaths. you really know how to pick them

I responded with what the hell are you talking about? and who is this? but the number never replied back.

Were they telling the truth though? Was Davis really throwing another party? He couldn't be.

I went straight over to Davis’ frat house, and when I saw the brothers pulling a keg into the back of the house, I knew the unknown number was telling the truth.

I argued with Davis that night. How could he be throwing a party again after what just happened? He even saw the killer and he’s just… shrugging it off like it doesn’t matter. People he knew from school are dying and he doesn’t care. It was gross and concerning beyond belief.

He rolled his eyes, saying that he wasn’t close to any of the people that died, just that he knew them in passing. And they weren’t throwing a party, just a kick-back with the boys in the house.

“Oh okay, that makes it all better…” I spat sarcastically. “Even if that was just the case, how are you in a partying mood?”

He groaned, walking away from me. “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re such a buzzkill.”

That was enough to set me off. I broke up with him on spot, not listening to another word he had to say. I held back tears as I raced back to my dorm. That was the last night I saw Davis.

And it was also the last night of the murders. At least... for a while.

Three weeks went by. This had been the longest period without any murders. It seemed as if things might have been getting back to normal. Even the university was starting to act the same again. The university announced the soon-to-be-open dorm that was right down the street from mine. I was even excited to stay there next year; I was actually looking forward to it - to senior year. To the future.

After breaking up with Davis, I ended up becoming friends with Sam and Colby again. I told them what happened, and they graciously accepted me back with open arms. It was nice to be with them again, for life to feel somewhat normal once more. But I couldn’t lie: I missed Davis. I knew I shouldn’t have, his weird lack of empathy for what was happening was alarming, but maybe something was going on with him and that’s why he didn’t seem to care. Or maybe I was trying to give him brownie points when he didn’t deserve them. But I couldn’t help but miss him. Even if I knew what he did was fucked up to me, I still cared. I worried something could still happen to him.

The killings might have stopped, but that didn't mean I wasn’t still paying attention and on edge all the time. I think everyone on campus could feel there was still a chokehold in the air from the murderer.

I texted Davis after a month of nothing from him. I asked to meet up with him, but he never responded. My messages were going through, so he didn’t block me. Sam and Colby caught wind of my texting and were highly against it, especially when I said I planned to go to the frat and see him for myself. According to Colby, clearly Davis either needed space or just didn’t want to see me, so I should just stay away for a while. I considered what he said but decided to go anyway. I asked around at his frat house if anyone knew where he was, since I knew he wasn’t in class. His ‘brother’ Kevin replied that they hadn’t seen Davis in a long time. Like, almost a month.

...The last time I saw him as well.

My stomach twisted up in knots at the first thought I had.

Was he the killer?

There’s no way. I was with him when the first killings happened. Maybe he had an accomplice? No. No, Davis wouldn’t kill anybody, let alone people he knew from back in the day… right?

I can’t tell Sam and Colby, even though they know my theory about the killer hunting people from our graduating class. I don’t want to give them another reason to hate Davis. Not to mention, I must be wrong. There’s no way Davis killed all those people. It was just a coincidence that he left and the murders stopped.

Unless… the killer got him too.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. Maybe Davis left because of the killings. Maybe it was too much for him to bear. Maybe a family emergency happened. Maybe he couldn’t handle the classes. There could be a laundry list of reasons why he left.

My heart skipped a beat when my phone buzzed on my way back to my dorm. The number wasn’t the one I was hoping to see, and all the text did was make my thoughts spiral deeper.

UNKNOWN: do you miss me?

~~~

Our campus was known for its Halloween parties, and while I definitely wasn’t in a spooky mood, Sam and Colby begged me to come with them to a random frat’s party. Sam wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend and Colby didn’t want to be left alone when they would eventually disappear off. I agreed begrudgingly. I dressed up in my costume from last year, a witch, and Sam and Colby dressed up as Batman and Robin; and by dressed up I mean they just threw on a t-shirt with the symbol. Walking into the party, I felt my skin tingle with anxiety. The music was loud and there were so many people around in an array of different costumes. I glanced around, hoping to maybe see Davis, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop trying to look for him. He clearly left because he couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, whether from the murders or the workload.” Sam stated, pulling my attention away from the crowd.

“Maybe he couldn’t live without you so he left.” Colby joked.

“Either way, don’t waste your night looking for someone that’s gone.” Sam stood up pointing at me, “I’ll be right back, let me go find my girl.”

“Let’s see how long it takes him this time.” Colby rolled his eyes.

I stayed with Colby for a while, watching a table of zombies play beer pong. After two games had finally played out, I started looking around for Sam.

“Don’t bother. Sam has a tendency to disappear off with his girlfriend and only come back around super late. I don’t know, but sometimes I swear she’s not real.”

I questioned, “You’ve met her before, right?”

He shrugged. “Sorta. It was quick, and honestly, I was super drunk so it could have just been some random girl.”

“Sam wouldn’t lie about having a girlfriend.” I argued.

“Yeah because if he did, I’m gonna make fun of him so fucking much,” Colby chuckled. “I’m gonna go step outside and call him, see if he’s around here. If you want, go… mingle, until I get back.”

“Tell him to hurry back, with or without his girlfriend please.” I laughed, watching Colby smirk as he stepped outside.

I wandered around the party, running into some people from my English Lit class. We started taking shots and bitching about the professors giving us so much work during the murders.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like it had been at least an hour, if not longer. I pulled out my phone, ready to text Colby where he went off to, and suddenly an urgent email went through. Everyone’s phones around me started blowing up as well, gasps and screams being let out as people read the message.

Three students were just found dead on campus. Police advised everyone to stay indoors and if they were out on the street not to walk home alone.

“Fuck this, I’m getting the hell out of here!” Someone yelled deep from within the party.

A major rush of people started going for the front door, making it impossible to leave. Mayhem was breaking out, people were crying, screaming, and begging to get out of the house as soon as possible. I rushed to the basement, knowing there was an exit there since all the frat houses were built with the same layout.

Fuck! Where was Sam and Colby?

A huge group of us ran back towards our dorms. I stayed with the group as long as I could until I was alone, running to my dorm.

“Y/N!” I heard Colby’s voice shout from across the courtyard.

I spun towards him, running up to him hastily. I fell into his arms, pulling him close.

My voice quivered. “Thank Christ you’re okay! Where’s Sam?”

“He’s with his girlfriend in her dorm. McFranklin Hall.” Colby informed.

“Oh thank god. Okay, let’s just get back to mine since it’s closer.” I urged.

We got into my building quickly, jumping into the elevator. I finally was able to catch my breath for a moment, my heart still pounding. “Where the hell were you all night?”

Colby furrowed his brows, confused. “I wasn’t gone that long, Y/N.”

“You said you were only going to go make a phone call.” I responded.

“Yeah I did, and then I guess I lost track of time.” He answered.

We walked out of the elevator and down to my dorm. “How the hell did you lose track of time?”

He huffed. “Can we just talk about this later?”

I shook my head, pulling my key out. “No let’s talk about this right-”

“Y/N?” He interjected.

“What?” I breathed, still looking at him.

“Did you leave your dorm unlocked?” He pointed.

My gaze fell upon my dorm. The door was open, but only a little. Like someone rushed to get out of it.

“Maybe we should head back to my dorm…” Colby backed up.

I stepped inside, pushing the door open all the way. “No I need to know what happen-”

I flicked on the lights and choked out a gasp.

My room was torn up, everything knocked over and on the floor. Someone ransacked it, looking for God knows what.

I shuddered, “W-who… did this?”

Colby bit his lip nervously. “I don’t know.”

“How did they even get in here? I locked my door, I know I did.” I dissented.

His face twisted in disgust, covering his nose. “What is that smell? I think it’s coming from behind the door…”

Colby pushed the door shut, jumping back as it slammed.

“Oh my god is that… blood?” He whispered.

#9 was smeared onto the door, still fresh from whoever broke in.

My mouth watered as nauseous rushed through me. “Nine… that was Davis’ jersey number.”

“Or… like how many victims there’s been.” Colby deadpanned.

My breathing labored at his tone. “There hasn’t been nine victims. The three tonight make it eight.”

Colby’s eyes were cold as he turned to me, “Well, then maybe you’r-”

A dark figure lurched out of my closet, grabbing Colby from behind. I screamed out, staring into the melted ghost face mask.

“Run Y/N! R-” Colby yelled, his breath hitching as the figure’s knife stabbed into his chest.

Pure adrenaline kicked through my veins as I bolted out of the building. I ran to the stairs, rushing down them as fast as I could. I wasn’t sure if the figure was behind me, but I knew I just needed to run. As I finally made it to the street, there were no cars around. It was late, already one AM. The police sirens and glow of their cars were so far away, possibly on the other side of campus.

I rushed down the street, praying to find a lone car or business open so I could call for help. But everything down the street was dark, deserted.

The only building that seemed to be open or have lights on was the new dorm. I raced around it, trying to find a single unlocked door. I found one towards the back of the building, an emergency exit that hadn’t been installed yet.

I needed to find a space to hide, knowing that once I felt safe, I could call for help. I didn’t want to run through the open lobby, so I kept going up the stairs to the second floor.

From down below me, the emergency exit busted open, the dark figure staring up at me as it raced up the stairs. My screams echoed off the walls of the staircase as I rushed through the second story door. I ran down the hallway, trying to find any room that was unlocked. The hallway was dark, only the occasional work light.

I could hear the slamming of the emergency door behind me. It was near; and getting closer. Fuck! I need to find somewhere to go. I just kept running, not knowing what else to do.

The building was almost in a circle shape, everything looping back around to one another. As I sprinted to the other emergency exit, the figure popped out, stopping me dead in my tracks.

How the fuck did he get over here?

I turned around, running back the way I came. As I got to an open living room area, the figure came down the hallway I was running towards. I spun around, gasping at the now two dark figures in front of me.

I backed up against the wall, the figures closing in. Tears clouded my vision as I stared at them, ready to die.

Suddenly they stopped, glancing at one another, and chuckling. Their laughs sounded familiar as they pulled off their masks.

“Sam…? Colby?” I sputtered.

Sam smiled. “In the flesh.”

“Surprise.” Colby smirked.

“W-Wha? What the- What the fuck?!” I screeched.

“What? Oh shit, did we scare you? Didn’t mean to do that.” Sam feigned concern.

Colby held back a laugh. “…Yeah, we’re only sort of lying about that.”

My body was frozen against the wall, “Is this some joke? A prank?”

“A prank? I think killing eight people is far past the point of a prank.” Sam glared.

“Our sense of humor isn’t that fucked up. What do you think we are, monsters?” Colby scowled, pointing his knife at me.

My stomach dropped as my heart raced faster. I could feel the color drain out of my face.

They killed everyone.

“No. No, y-you guys can’t be serious.” I cried.

“Oh, we’re dead serious. Why don’t you show her her prize, Colby?” Sam gestured.

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” Colby winked, backing away.

I moved forward as Colby turned the corner. Sam shoved me back against the wall, pulling out a gun from behind his back.

He pointed the gun at my chest. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I whimpered. “Sam, why are you doing this?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn soon enough.” He grunted.

My eyes fell on Colby as he pulled Davis’ tied up body from around the corner. He was alive, but barely; blood soaked his clothes, and he looked dirty.

“Oh my God Davis!” I wailed, trying to run towards him.

Sam wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly against him. “Tsk tsk, Y/N. I told you not to move.”

“You’ve probably been wondering where he’s been. He’s been in here, just… chilling.” Colby snickered.

I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. “No, no, no. This can’t be real. You guys-!”

Sam growled in my ear. “What?! We can’t be killers? Oh trust me, Y/N… we are.”

“And you know, all this happened… because of you.” Colby spun the knife in a small circle, until he rested it underneath my chin.

“Because of me?” I uttered.

“Yes. You see, that night you made Davis ‘apologize’, he didn’t actually do that. Maybe to you that’s what he said. But to us, he said something totally different.” Sam explained.

Colby mimicked Davis’ voice, “‘I remember you two dorks. Can’t believe Y/N has put up with you two losers for so long. My friends did nothing wrong in high school. You guys deserved every single thing that happened to you. I ain’t apologizing for shit.’”

“‘Honestly the shit they did was fucking hilarious. And if you’re not over it by now, that’s your fucking problem.’” Sam chimed in, doing the same voice.

“Well… now it seems like your problem too, Davis!” Colby cackled, kicking Davis in the stomach.

“‘You’re not gonna tell Y/N about this. She’s never gonna believe you anyway. I have her wrapped around my finger. She’s in love with me, so you might as well accept this as my apology.’” Sam quoted directly into my ear.

“Do you know how upsetting it was knowing he was right? You would have never believed us. Especially when he sent that dumb poor excuse of a text the next day claiming he was sorry.” Colby hissed.

“We would look like the bitter nerds that just couldn’t get over their dumb bully.” Sam replied.

“So you thought murdering our old classmates would make it better?!” I exclaimed.

“Every single one of them deserved it! They weren’t just our old classmates; they were the ones that bullied us!” Colby lurched at me, getting into my face.

My eyes widen at Colby’s words. He was right.

“The first one, James. That was my doing. Total accident, B-T-W. It was right after we stopped being friends, I was upset and we bumped into each other,” Sam recounted nonchalantly. “He recognized me from high school, and he called me his favorite name – you know, the old one he used to call me all the time back then. I blacked out, and when I came to, I had strangled him to death.”

“I killed Lizzie after seeing you at the party with Davis. You know, she was always so desperate, even back in high school. And she tried to get with me, and when I shot her down, she all of sudden remembered me. Started calling me a loser, and all this other stuff. It didn’t bother me at first, but then she brought up Madison and how she told everyone in school how bad I was our first time. So… I killed her.” Colby shrugged.

“We didn’t even know we had done these crimes until we both confessed to one another. And then from there, we just couldn’t stop.” Sam revealed, tightening his hold on me. “We basically went back and forth, one for one. Except Colby went a little rogue and killed… what was her name? Michelle. That night you were at our dorms. That… that one almost got us caught. Especially since you basically had pieced together that the killer was going after old classmates.”

“I’m sorry. What can I say, Michelle actually surprised me,” Colby chuckled darkly. “I was working on a project with her, we went to a party and… well, it doesn’t matter. Just know it was fun leaving her body outside of Davis’ frat. Too bad he saw me leaving. But that was when we realized Davis might actually be useful after all.”

“We got a burner phone, texted you once or twice, and things just fell into place. You broke up with him – because let’s be honest, we didn’t force him to throw parties after everyone’s deaths. That was all him. And his lack of caring? Also all him. So again, you really do know how to pick them,” Sam joked.  “And once you guys were done-zo, we realized kidnapping him and making him disappear would make you question if he was the one who did it.”

“Plus, we had mid-terms.” Colby added.

“How did you keep him here for a month?” I questioned.

Sam scoffed. “A month? No, we only just kidnapped him. Who the hell told you he’s been gone for a month?”

“A brother at the frat.” I remarked.

“Yeah, no. He’s wrong. Prior to that, Davis was actually ignoring you though. He was pretty upset about you breaking up with him.” Sam related.

Colby stared down at Davis who shook with fear. “He didn’t expect it since you were so wrapped around his finger.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would you do this?” I choked.

“We wanted to forget high school, we really did. The plans we had for life outside of this state were just too big. So, we made them smaller, thought going to the same school as our best friend would be fine and sure, we’d have run ins with old high school assholes, but who cares? That was years ago. We’ve all moved on, right?” Colby huffed.

“The thing is, when you deal with people who peaked in high school… life doesn’t move on for them. Their glory days consisted of making our lives shit day in and day out. They get to go on and not have to relive the trauma. Hell, they didn’t even have to pay for what they did. And what about that is right?” Sam spun me around to face him, his eyes glaring into mine, “Why do they get to live when a part of me and him died back then?”

His cold stare left me speechless. “I-I –”

“And then… you go and date one of them?” Sam shook his head in disappointment. “Now that… that’s fucked up. Which is why you have to die too.”

“Wha? No, no. Sam, Colby, please!” I begged.

Colby grabbed my arm, both of them gripping onto me. “There’s no point in begging now. You chose your fate the moment you picked him over us!”

“Please don’t do this. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone.” I pleaded, lying.

Sam cocked the gun. “Yeah, right. You have a good moral compass on you, I remember our philosophy class together.”

“Wait! Can I kill her?” Colby interrupted.

“What, no dude. I’m the one with the gun, let me do it.” Sam protested.

Colby frowned. “But that’s no fair, you killed more people than me.”

“No I didn’t. We killed the same amount. I made it even tonight.” Sam bickered.

“Yeah, well, if you kill her than it’s uneven.” Colby complained.

“Then you can kill Davis and that way it’s even.” Sam compromised.

Colby breathed. “Oh oka-”

I punched Colby right in the face, knocking him back into the wall. I kicked Sam hard in the dick. He groaned loudly, dropping to his knees. The gun flung away from him, next to Davis’ body. Colby’s hands were suddenly around my neck from behind, choking me. I fought against his hold, elbowing him hard in the chest. Sam recovered from my kick, jumping up and pushing me back into Colby’s hands. He held Colby’s knife up against my chest, ready to stab me.

A loud gunshot echoed off the walls of the dorm. I felt a sharp, agonizing pain in my side. My vision blurred from the pain and lack of oxygen, and suddenly all was dark. Quiet.

~~~

Y/N’s body dropped to the floor as Sam and Colby turned towards Davis, who somehow came loose from his binds.

The gun was in his hands, pointed at them.

“Holy fuck, you shot Y/N!” Colby boomed.

“No! No! Fuck! I meant to shoot you!” Davis stammered, pure shock coursing through him.

“Oh my god bro, you actually killed her?!” Sam laughed. “Wow… you made this so much easier for us.”

“Don’t you step any closer! I’ll fucking kill you too!” Davis turned towards Sam, his finger on the trigger.

“Gonna be hard to do that. There’s only one bullet in the chamber.” Sam stated.

Davis stared at the gun, trying to open it to see if Sam was telling the truth. Sam rushed up to him, stabbing him in the chest hard.

Sam blinked. “Just kidding.”

Davis’ body collapsed on the floor, and Sam bent down and stabbed him three more times, each with more fury than the next.

“Aw man… I thought I was gonna kill Davis.” Colby pouted.

“Shut up, Colby. Okay, we gotta make this look like we fought. Put your mask on him. I’ll take my cloak off and leave it next to him. Then we gotta make ourselves look… beaten.” Sam barked.

Colby nodded his head, taking his mask and placing it on Davis’ dead body. Sam tore his cloak off, leaving it next to Davis. The extra mask and cloak they discarded, leaving it in the room where Davis had been held captive. They made sure to clean up somewhat, wiping their fingerprints off of all weapons.

“Alright so… I think we should at least give each other a black eye. Maybe a couple slices too.” Sam dictated.

Colby agreed. “Okay, should I go-”

Sam punched Colby in the face, snorting after Colby winced and backed up.

“She already punched me bro! You didn’t have to do that!” Colby whined.

“Sorry. Go ahead, take it out on me.” Sam pulled his arms back, closing his eyes.

“Man, I don’t know. I’d hate to h-” Colby decked Sam across the face, his rings cutting up Sam’s bottom lip.

Sam winced. “Fuck! Okay! Shit. Alright, I’ll slice at you once, and you do the same.”

“Okay…” Colby mumbled.

Sam grabbed the knife, swiping at Colby’s abdomen.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurt.” Colby grimaced.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re such a baby.”

“Give me the knife. Tell me how it feels.” Colby yanked the knife out of his hand, jolting it into Sam’s side.

Sam grunted deeply, holding his wound. “Why don’t you cut a little deeper next time, Colby?”

“Sorry, are you okay?” Colby asked.

Sam pulled out his phone, “Yeah I’m fine. Alright, that’s enough. Time to call the police.”

“Dude…” Colby exhaled happily. “I can’t believe we’re getting away with this.”

“Justice is finally being served.” Sam grinned.

Sam called 911, giving an Oscar-worthy performance on the phone. He even shed real tears. The police were over in a flash. Sam and Colby limping down to the lobby of the empty dorm to meet them, for dramatic effect. They made sure to make themselves look exhausted from the crazy night they just endured.  They told the police what happened – they saw the figure murder Sam’s girlfriend, one of the three that were killed tonight, and they followed him over to this building where they saw him dragging Y/N in. It was Davis, Y/N ex. He kidnapped her and killed her and tried to kill them as well. But they were able to fight him off and stab him.

They were escorted to the ambulance, a crowd of students lining up outside the building as they were being checked out.

Sam and Colby smiled at one another as they were loaded into the ambulance, needing to be fully checked out at the hospital.

A loud yell rang out as Y/N’s body was brought down on a stretcher. EMT’s surrounded her as they pulled her into a different ambulance.

“WAIT! She’s got a pulse!”