#this is the first thing ive gotten done in so long and its a joke. but you know what. i had fun doing it so its a win to me

[charrfie]

Been seeing this go around lately and thought it was very reminiscent of spam and arrfs (featuring my boyfriend @nervigg's sona bix!!)

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

please can I request soft/ fluff HCs with Peter quill? it’s sinful how little fics there are of him, so had to ask you :) 💕 preferably female but GN is fine too

hii! omg yess that’s so true, there is literally no fics of him! I have searched for so long to find some quill fics but often come up empty, so if anyone has recs, please please send them my way (I need them and him) ive never wrote for quill so hope these are accurate. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

headcanons/ imagines

peter quill x f reader

warnings || none

a/n || I may have done this first, sorry to all the others in my inbox, this was something fun to do and hopefully it might kick me into writing again

masterlist + rules

taglist

- it’s a given, but you guys talk about music ALL the time, it’s definitely a very important part of your relationship. maybe you share new songs with him from different decades, but you definitely prefer his music and he loves that you love his music

- he has an abundance of funky, fun and cool graphic tees, he loves to share them with you and probably prefers them on you

- he definitely fell first

- he loves to make you laugh, constantly cracking jokes. doesn’t even need to try and you’d just be laughing or smiling at him. his favourite laughs of yours are when you snort or cackle at his unintentional jokes

- it makes him feel special that you pay attention to the little things he says and when you react earnestly to them

- even though he LOVES the other guardians, he definitely prefers one on one time with you and loves to have you all to himself. he also loves your attention, and he definitely craves time with you

- he has major abandonment issues, so he doesn’t like you leaving his side. you’d be like his lucky rock, or a special penny that he always needs near. you are incredibly special to quill and he is often terrified that he’ll lose you too

- he craves validation, especially from you

- he is a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for. he’s definitely learnt tonnes from rocket over the years

- if he ever has to do a mission separately from you (would take a lot of persuasion and reassurance first) but he always brings back some special for you, something tailored and important to you, something that holds significance

- he’s incredibly sentimental, again not always showing it. he feels safe with the other guardians, but even more so with you. he doesn’t often like talking about his mother (he finds it too difficult) it took a lot of time, but he eventually shared that part of his life with you, and he was glad he did because your reaction was exactly what he needed

- an amazing hugger, he’s super comforting and safe. he has a very homely vibe and instantly makes you feel at ease

- you two have a very fun and easygoing relationship, it’s light and airy, but serious and passionate when it needs to be. a very sincere and genuine dynamic

- he taught you how to speak groot, he’s a great teacher but it took some getting used to

- he likes when you sit on his lap when he steers the ship, even though it’s not technically safe, he loves having you near when he is in the captain's seat (or just on his lap in the seat in general)

- but if need be, your seat is behind him, so it’s not too far away

- he loves teaching you things, he wanted to be the one to teach you about the ship and its buttons and controls

- I had this idea: that you take him to earth (he might not be too fond of the idea at first) but you surprise him with concert tickets so you both could see a band he loves. he’d never stop talking about it, and he’d keep the ticket stubs pinned up so he could look at them all the time

- he would do ANYTHING for you, he goes love blind (may have gotten himself hurt a couple of times to protect you)

- you both invented a special code/ encryption so you can talk to each other over comms. if he is on the other side of the ship (maybe tinkering) he’ll send you a secret message to let you know he’s thinking of you

- you guys don’t really argue (that’s not a bad thing either) if you have a disagreement it’s usually very light, and unserious, he’d probably accidentally make you laugh during it and then everything goes back to normal

- but if you ever do get into an argument, he can be quite stubborn

- he is a man-child (but the best kind!!) he can be immature and cocky but he’s always lighthearted. he’s just a fun-loving goof

- he loves when you call him starlord (but you don’t say it too often, so it doesn’t lose its meaning)

- you helped him process his grief, especially after yondu. once he felt comfortable talking about him again, he’d tell you all of these stories about him growing up

- he no longer drinks to forget, he now prefers a social drink after a mission with the crew instead. he doesn’t feel the need to drink himself silly now that he has you

- the guardians think you’re a great addition to the team and love that you make quill so happy

- you and peter share stories of earth with the others, sometimes you’d bend the truth and say wacky absurd things to joke around with them, but that being said it often flies over their heads, especially drax and mantis

- you two are definitely best friends as well as a couple, the perfect balance of friendship and romance, which is what makes the connection so special

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 2.5.2025

So, where we left this last week was that I felt like shit and had decided I needed force myself back into writing. The thing I would like to get done the most is a little in love, because I feel extremely guilty about it not being done. I did a thing I hate doing, which is to read some writing advice. I think it might be a tension issue, so I started there and something I read brought up the five-act play. I have one of those! I said to myself, and then read up on the theory of the five-act play. Unfortunately, my outline, as it stands and is not working, is the very model of a five-act play. I am supposed to be doing falling action at this point. Right now, it's so boring and draggy I want to puke, and I had been trying to think up ways to jazz it up, but, uh. I guess. not. I think maybe my only choice is to trim it down, so at least it's shorter. Intellectually, I do not think this is true, but I feel like I need to throw out the 20k words of act iv I have already written and start again from scratch. The real thing I think I need to do is write a few of the scenes from Act V, and then hopefully it will be easier to get from here to there. I've been planning to do this since Christmas, and I still haven't gotten around to doing it.

What I did instead was to read As You Like It, which is a five-act play and a romantic comedy. I hadn't read a Shakespeare in a long time and it seemed like a fun and inspirational thing to do. Reader, it was not. I mean, it was fine. It's just that, uh, sorry Bill, but it's just not the most inspirational of your works. It was 75% cuckold jokes, and then the main plot got solved by some guy changing his mind off-screen.

That's great, Poly, you say. Did you get back to the fanfic? No. What happened somewhere in the middle of that, while I was being bored of Touchstone's clowning was that I decided I wanted to re-read the two scraps of Academy fic I wrote two summers ago. The first scrap is based on the filler parts of Episode 46. Namely, we see how Renji and Kira meet, but I wanted to write about how Renji and Hinamori meet. Halfway through writing that, though, I got another really weird Academy story idea, so I wrote that up. I had the idea at the time that maybe I would write a number of loosely-related Academy vignettes and publish them together. I was working on something else at the time, though, (the tattoo artist AU maybe?? I don't feel like looking it up) and I decided it was more important to work on that. Anyway, this week, because I felt like it, I started on the b-part of the second Academy vignette. It's 1500 words of Rukia and Renji being insane about each other in a way. I do not foresee publishing it anytime soon, or perhaps, even ever. I would have to finish and post the first vignette first, and then come up with some more, which seems unlikely to happen (but who knows??) In theory, I could post this on its own, but it really hinges on the Kira->Hinamori->Renji->Rukia non-situationship being incredibly messy and yet simultaneously extremely repressed (there should be more arrows in there, but I don't feel like making a whole-ass diagram). Perhaps there is an audience for this beyond myself, but I just...I don't know, I feel like someone is going to be like "this is so weird they would not do this" and I don't have the energy in me to face that.

Anyway. It's fine. I can noodle around on stuff that's just for me and never finish it. It's good enough to keep my brain from capsizing.

I've also still be drawing nearly every day, so good job to me for that. I will try to do something that passes for an actual piece of art in February, I promise.

[suna-rinn]

cosita bonita- m. o’hara

IN WHICH- miguel o'hara finds you positively insufferable. (it goes both ways.)

warnings: so much fucking tension omfg r u kidding me just bang already, miguel is honestly an asshole im staying accurate to character (that’s a joke bc he’s honestly more flirty than he would ever be) did i mention that there’s a lot of tension yall should just kiss, he’s also so awkward it’s almost laughable

A/N: i’m so sorry i’ve been MIA ive been writing full blown fanfics on wattpad its honestly kind of embarrassing

A/N P2: i google translated all the spanish. please feel free to correct me; i’m a speaker of english, mandarin, and japanese, so i really don’t expect it to be correct.

                 •───⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

sometimes, your boss was a complete, total piece of shit. you wish you knew what you were signing up for when hobie, the stupid little idiot, dragged you along with him to his first day on earth 2099, a long way from your shared world of earth 616.

needless to say, you were most certainly not welcome. first things first, you hadn’t even been invited, nor had you really wanted to come. hobie had quite literally dragged you, clamping a tight hand around your wrist and pulling you through the portal with him. 

upon arrival, he had stolen a bracelet from one of the spider-people, slapped it on your wrist, gave you a forceful fist-bump and screamed, “anarchy! yeah?!”

well, shit. how were you supposed to deny that?

inevitably, time came for you to be kicked out approximately two minutes later, when the one and only spider-man of earth 2099 found out he had an unwelcome guest on his world. the look he’d casted you was one of sheer disdain, and you certainly wouldn’t have minded leaving on the spot.

but hobie brown could always be a blabbermouth when he wanted to be. you were useful, he claimed- willing to get your hands dirty when others weren’t, knowing what had to be done. you’d always taken up the part of the spider-punk job that hobie had been hesitant to do back at home- helping people simply came with the radioactive bite. 

that- that did intrigue miguel. miguel o’hara was a harsh, harsh man- but only because he had to be. he was the spider-man that the people needed; not the one they wanted. 

and you and him seemed to be in awfully similar shoes.

         •───⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“another tough day?” hobie sniffed, flopping down next to you, draping his legs over your lap. up above, miguel looked down distastefully, wrinkling his nose in disdain at the unprofessional display.

“the day is always tough when you work with him.” you huffed back, jabbing your thumb upwards, bringing hobie’s attention to your boss. “hey, new girl! you’re sharing an office with me so i can keep an eye on you! hey, new girl! get me a coffee, if you can even manage to find the cafeteria! hey, new girl! cleanse lyla’s storage for me, if you can even figure out how to do it! hey, new girl-”

“are you finished?” miguel sighed, platform slowly descending, screens wiping blank. “that isn’t what i sound like.” 

“yeah?” you sneered, pulling up a new tab on your monitor- security footage of the room. 

“hey, new girl!” the crappy monitor speaker barked, scratchy. “make yourself useful and get a coffee, yeah? gracias, cosita bonita.”

miguel grunted in annoyance, taking a deep sip from the coffee you’d gotten an hour earlier, physical proof of your labor. you raised an eyebrow at hobie, as if saying, ‘you see this shit?’

“cosita bonita, huh?” hobie whistled, sliding his feet off your lap, and facing miguel. “interesting...” miguel avoided his insinuations, merely raising an eyebrow. 

“aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“aren’t you supposed to be working?” hobie retorted, eyes sliding over to you subtly. miguel grimaced, narrowing his brows. “ay, man. my entire thing is not workin’ unless i want to. down with the system.” 

“get out.” miguel groaned, hand waving mindlessly in the air. “i’ve had enough of you for one day.” 

“tough crowd!” hobie crowed, standing from his seat in surrender. he ruffled your hair- an act of familial-like affection that you’d grown to accept, although you never stopped complaining about the way that it fucked up your hair. “stay focused, boss man, yeah?”

“leave!” miguel shouted at his retreating figure. when the coast was clear, his eyes slid back to you, noticing that you were now back to mindlessly scrolling through reports, blowing a bubble of gum between your lips, almost the size of your face. “¿qué tiene tu linda cabecita en un giro?“ (what’s got your pretty little head in a twist?)

“hm?” you blinked, losing focus and popping the bubble. it exploded all over your lips, and you clicked your tongue in annoyance, before using your tongue to pry the areas that were sticking back into your mouth. miguel urged himself to pay attention, and stop staring at stupid things. “what’d you say?”

“what’re you working on?” he corrected himself swiftly, leaning slightly over your table, head hanging over the double monitors. you tried to ignore him- jesus, did the man ever skip back day-?!  “better be workin’ hard, if you got time to fool around with hobie.”

“sorting through the fuckin’ reports that you don’t want to do.” you sniffled in annoyance. “one day you have me killin’ people, the next day you have me doing secretary work. one day, i swear-”

“-you swear what?” he cut in, leaning over further. you glanced up, tensing when you realized his face was just a few inches away from yours. “hm? what were you saying, cosita bonita?” (pretty little thing)

“...” you gaped, hands frozen still over the keys of the keyboard, before blinking a few times and snapping out of it. you cleared your throat, eyes skimming back over the report you were working on. miguel frowned, leaning back. “nothin’. don’t worry about it, anata.” (japanese for ‘darling, dear.)

“you wanna get me another coffee?” he sighed, standing straight up, ready to go back to sitting at his platform. “i finished the one you got me.” 

“i ain’t your maid.” you retorted, closing out the report you just finished. “if you want me to be one, you gotta pay me better.” 

“o podrías dejar de hacerte la dura y salir conmigo.” (or you could stop playing hard to get and go out with me.) he grunted in annoyance. 

you powered off your PC, standing from your spinning chair and sitting on the front of your desk. “nunca me pediste que saliera contigo, idiota.” (you never asked me to go out with you, you dense idiot.)

he stared at you, unfurling his arms from their tight grip on each other. “¿tú hablas español?”

“hobie dijo que yo era multilingüe cuando nos conocimos. ¿por qué diablos no sabría español?“ (hobie said i was multilingual when we first met. why the hell wouldn’t i know spanish?) you squinted your eyes. “not very smart of you, boss man.”

“¡¿por qué no me lo dijiste antes?!” (why wouldn’t you tell me earlier?!) he gripped his hair in disbelief, gawking at you. “shit, man! that’s embarrassing!” 

“sure.” you shrugged, grinning devilishly. “but it was funny. hobie and i thought it was hilarious- why do you think he’s got a shit-eating grin every time he comes in here?”

“eres insufrible.“ (you’re insufferable.) he clenched his fist. “por favor, joder, sal conmigo.“ (please fucking go out with me.)

“tal vez, si me pagas lo suficiente.” (maybe, if you pay me enough.) you snarked. he pinched your side harshly, causing you to yelp. “ow! fuck, okay! do you always harass women into going on dates with you?!”

“no.” he deadpanned. “only when they’re as difficult and annoying as you.”

[huntingteeth]

Prompt: embrace, feeling loved, maaybe apricots (that’s just because I got apricots today :)) (it’s a bit sour tbh)

uh set in a nebulous future after ikhwghgia truly:

Sam drags him out of the house one day, midweek, after they get back from touring.

IV feels the post-tour blues more acutely than any of his partners, prone to listing about the house and taking naps crunched into the corner of the sofa. He endures Vessel’s concerned eyes on him with a modicum of ease and promises him that he’s okay. This isn’t the first tour they’ve come back from, and it isn’t the first time IV has felt like this.

Sam takes him to one of his friend’s houses, and IV has the wherewithal to think it’s weird that Jack, the friend, isn’t there when they arrive. He says as much and Sam waves his hand dismissively.

“Jack’s at the pub,” he says. “More importantly, Jack’s mum — you know, Mrs. Baker — is here. I think you need some time with a mum.”

IV studiously stares at a shelf filled with various tchotchkes and tries to pretend his eyes don’t feel damp. His own relationship with his remaining family is fraught, thanks to Marc and that whole mess, and while he tries to do things that honor his own mother, it’s hard. He misses her every day.

He’s had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Baker before; she has the type of energy that pulls other people in. Vessel and II are the type of people to stick to themselves, and to an extent so is III, but now that IV has gotten a taste for having people in his life, he only wants more.

III jokes that he’s done wonders for their popularity in the village; they previously haunted the town like a group of specters, hesitant to reach out in a town Sleep made their own.

Mrs. Baker toddles out of the kitchen after a moment, fingers plucking at the energy in the air, and she inhales in surprise as she sees them.

“Hullo, Mrs. Baker,” Sam says, a smile curling around the edges of his face.

IV waves a hand over Sam’s shoulder in greeting.

“Boys,” she says, like they aren’t grown men, “come in, come in.”

IV finds himself bundled into a seat at the kitchen table with a cup of sweet, milky tea in his hands before he even realizes what happens. Mrs. Baker fusses over them both, slices thick pieces of cake for each of them, and lets Sam expound about coming home after a long tour.

IV tucks into the cake easily, enjoys the tangy taste of the citrus glaze, and adds in his own thoughts to the conversation as they become relevant. The kitchen is warm around them, and Mrs. Baker continues plucking at energy around them until she’s cleared out the cobwebs and tangles. He feels lighter, more centered and grounded, as the afternoon wears on.

She smooths a hand over his brow at the end of a story Sam shares, and says, “There, that’s better.”

Her magic is old magic, IV can tell. She’s raised her own kids, and folded others, like Sam, into her flock along the way. She reminds him of his own mother, back before she got sick, and feels comforted by the similarities.

“Thank you,” IV says after a beat, and then, “Can we help you with anything while we’re here?”

Sleep’s magic is different from other magic; there’s no requirement for equivalent exchange, but it’s still the polite thing to do. It’s taken him a while to get back into the flow of a life where magic presides, to undo the damage Marc did to him, but he likes where he’s at now. He likes that he’s able to do this for other people.

Mrs. Baker folds an arm around his shoulder and leans against him for a moment before she says, “Would you mind terribly to refresh some of my wards?”

This is what his magic does, he’s found: it curls up in the corners like a cat, eyes ever watchful of its environment; it molds to the doorframes and walks about, tail curling. His magic protects, which makes him feel some sort of way. He goes around the house and refreshes her wards, and lets her hug him at the door when he’s done. He leans into the embrace when she gives it.

“You come around whenever,” Mrs. Baker says. “You’re always welcome. Bring your men with you next time.”

IV laughs into her shoulder and says, “I’ll try. You know how they are.”

“That I do,” Mrs. Baker says, a smile in her eyes.

Sam walks them back to the car and says, “She’s definitely going to brag to the other mums that you did her wards, so don’t be surprised if you start getting requests.”

IV cups a hand around his mouth to hide his smile. He thinks he doesn’t mind.

III curls around him as soon as Sam drops IV off back at the house. “Hi, hi, I missed you,” he says. “Did you have a good time?”

IV nods into his shoulder and then inhales, letting all the air out of his lungs in a whoosh.

“Come on,” III says. “II brought a bunch of fruit back with him from the shops.”

Later, they tear into oranges, fingers pulling back their peels, and share wedges of the sweet fruit between them, press sticky fingers to the sides of II and Vessel’s faces, and IV thinks about what it is to be loved.

[empyreasheart]

I RETURN WITH MORE QUESTIONS. and one topic on my mind. xion xion xion xion xion xion XION shes so interesting and your hcs are always so good do you have any about her or the sea salt trio in general. i miss them so much (also i know you have work to do sorry if this is a distraction from it!! feel free to leave this ask for later)

IM FREEE WHICH MEANSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT MY DEAR DEAR XION!!!! no joke i have been thinking about her all day.

first off i LOVEEE xion so much. whenever i see her get attention and love im so happy. when i see her i have a habit of going "XIONNNN" super loudly.

im putting this under a read more cuz its gotten super long oops

my xion headcanons... well first of all i love every reading of her character as a trans allegory & how people intepret her as either trans or nonbinary! i dont think it was done on purpose but shes been claimed by the commjnity and im so happy about it. transfem xion my beloved. second of all shes autistic TO ME but honestly everyone in soras heart hotel is so thats a given. third of all give me xion with big dark brown eyes or give me death!

what id like to see explored in future games / i fanwork: her identity! we see roxas's frustration and anger about being his own person plenty but we hardly see xion upset at her predicament. i think this is because she wants to do the right thing, not because shes okay with the situation. i really want to see xion's feelings about not having her own identity explored, given that everything about her is based on either sora or his memories of kairi and she was basically created in a lab as a tool for organization 13. she should feel weird about existing in the first place, especially next to roxas and naminé, who dont have the same history behind their creation

in addendum to that, i want to see xions character design change to something more unique. she already has a new outfit, but id love to see her have a new hairstyle (whether she grows it out or just puts it up) so she has something different than a mirror of kh1 kairi's hair. i think ive also mentioned that i think itd be interesting if xion had her own eye color after kh3 (side note its bullshit we never got to see her norted eyes in kh3. she shouldve played a bigger role in the story too but thats another rant) to symbolize that shes her own person now, not a puppet meant to copy sora. lastly she !!! deserves !!! her own keyblade!!! there's so many cool keyblades from days to choose from & theres the weapons from her boss fight - theres no reason for her to still be using the kingdom key and i really hope she gets her own soon.

i keep thinking about what you said about xion not being another "nice" girl character and im like... so true. i dont think xion would be mean i want to go about it in a way that doesnt completely rewrite her character but i think exploring how she copes with her past w/ both organizations & her identity & trauma would be interesting, especially with how it parallels to naminé's own way of coping and dealing with her own trauma. theyre like Shy vs introverted to me lmfao i think xion tries to be friendly but overall she prefers to stay close to the people she feels safe around. i want to see xion be rude but in the autism way where she doesnt mean it shes just not aware. and stuff like that i guess. this paragraph was just word vomit my bad

THE SEA SALT TRIO... theyre seriously the family of all time i love them so much. ill just focus on xion here because this is already super long. BUT AXEL LOVES XION SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK THEYRE NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH.. the implication that lea subconsciously keeps his coat on in kh3 so xion (and roxas) can recognize him makes me so emotional. also the fact that lea just clicks with kairi because she also holds a part of xion inside her... AND WHEN HE BUYS HER AN ICE CREAM AND HE DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER WHY HES BUYING THREE. UGH. i love them so much. theyre definitely one of those duos found in the trios that dont get much attention which just draws me towards them more (like riku and kairi). i think lea is absolutely riddled with guilt about the events of days so he never lets xion forget that shes loved. i think xion is touch-averse *except* when it comes to roxas and lea because she feels safest around them.❤️

to end i will discuss roxas and xion . they are like a little orange cat and a little black cat to me. halloween colored. theyre so small i love them so much. i imagine when xion first meets the twilight town gang shes jealous bc roxas has other friends :( but roxas assures her shes super duper special to him and no one else can take her place in his life. they have such a unique bond that i dont know if any of the other characters have with each other. just something so special about those two. when it feels like no one else understands they have each other... and i think that makes for some angst when xion struggles with her own issues that even roxas cant relate to

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Hi big brother! i recently came out as a trans guy to my sister and her response was very supportive but i'm kind of scared bc i feel weird abt it. this happens every time i come out to someone who's known me a long time, i get this period of time where i think "augh what if i'm not really trans after all and ive just made a huge mistake coming out" and it usually does pass eventually but i never know how to deal with it, and theres always a part of me thats like "is this even a normal thing to feel when u come out? isnt coming out supposed to make me feel better? is the fact that its making me feel bad right now, even when im accepted, a sign that i'm not really the gender i came out as?"

i don't know what i wanted to get out of sending this ask i guess what i want to know is have you or any other trans ppl ever experienced this? i feel like i'm alone in feeling this way :S

When I first came out as "some kind of nonbinary" (which is exactly how I worded it), I definitely had that same feeling. I thought that maybe my nonbinary experience wasn't quite enough to call myself nonbinary, because I also still considered myself a man. It took me a while to settle into the label and feel valid in that choice.

Coming out isn't always what we expect it to be. Sometimes, there might be some hesitation or doubt. I think the feeling of "Maybe I'm faking it" comes from too many expectations, whether it's what we expect of ourselves or what others expect of us. When we say we're trans, it often feels like people expect us to fit the label in a very specific way or else we don't feel like we really are trans. And we can very easily fall into the idea that if other people think we're faking it, then we need to think we're faking it.

It could be that maybe you're in the very beginning stages of transitioning (if that's a goal for you) and maybe you don't feel like you're quite where you want to be on that journey, so it feels like you're coming out as someone who is still just getting started. At least, that's sort of what I felt when I first came out as trans. I thought that since I hadn't done any kind of name change or gotten on hormones, people might treat my coming out as a joke. it's especially true when we come out to people who have only ever known us one way, only to suddenly have to view us differently.

It could also be that you need to give it time to settle in and for people to start making changes in how they view you - a new name, new pronouns, different gendered terminology, or whatever else you would prefer to change. You only just came out, so people haven't had the time to refer to you in any new way.

Either way, doubting is normal. Feeling unsure or invalid is normal. These things always take time and I'm sure with time, you'll start to feel that relief you were looking for. - 💙💚

[miyanagateru]

i love scrolling through your blog like it's the morning paper except it's usually 3am. do you have any yuri manga recommendations

i do heehee... im kindof disconnected from EN side yuri readers tho so i have no clue what to expect others to have already read, just bear it in mind. also not including oneshots because my memory is absolutely not going to let me track down specific ones i really liked, but theres a lot of really great oneshots out there!!! go dig around and see what you like!!!

im also bad at describing things so a lot of these just ended up saying "this rocks" lawl. also this got crazy long so im putting it under a read more

first and most importantly, reading "oniisama e..." and "mariasama ga miteru" is a must, preferably in that order. personally ive only read the marimite light novels (which are notably not fully translated yet, sadly) so i cannot actually speak for the manga or anime but its AWESOME

after that watayuri is really great, its got a really interesting conversation going between like marimite and reiwa yuri. and then "oneesama and giant" and "assault lily" are kindof their creators throwing a ton of stuff they think is cool at the wall and hoping it sticks, they ROCK. assault lily is more of a huge multimedia thing tho it does have a few manga

okay thats all my shilling for marimite and its descendants out of the way so neeeext

"subtextual" stuff. im loathe to call most of these subtext honestly but its just to say that none of them feature anything as explicitly romantic as kissing or romantic confessions or whatever

"nettaigyo wa yuki ni kogareru" is AWESOME ONE OF THE BEST

"futari escape" was nice

"hakumei and mikochi" was awesome. this ones just reimari with the serial numbers filed off (joking)

"usotsuki satsuki wa shi ga mieru" i actually fell behind on this one and havent finished it yet so i dont know if it still goes here but it ROCKS

"shi ni aruki" by the same author as usotsuki satsuki, it rocks too

"yoru to umi" i remember liking this one. this rec comes with a pinch of salt just because my memory is bad and its been years

"tsubame tip off" okay this one i was reading when it first started but translation was super slow so i eventually fell off. i dont know if it still goes in this category or not, and translation is still not finished, but they seem to be chipping away at it still however slowly. its basketball. i would expect the translation to be done like. by the end of 2026 at the earliest. i liked what i read of it! im looking forward to reading it in full once the translation is finished

"girls und panzer phase.erika" garupan is awesome and the manga spinoffs are awesome

"hana to uso to makoto" ROCKS

regular romance. okay honestly theres a ton of stuff i need to reread to refresh my memory so this is nowhere near as comprehensive as i would like U_U

"ano ko ni kiss to shirayuri wo" this one rocks

"yagate kimi ni naru" literally everyone has read this right. but i will list it just in case because it rocks

"girl friends" everyones read this one too right? but it rocks so it gets a mention anyway

"keiyaku shimai" rocks

"hanamonogatari" was cute. translations still not done and super slow

"kami eshi JK to OL fujoshi" ROCKS. fujo yuri

"kamitsuki academy" okay this one. well youll see

"kimi to tsuzuru utakata" rocks

"sasameki koto" rocks

"still sick" rocks, a favorite

"kyou wa mada futsuu ni narenai" was awesome

"the fed up office lady wants to serve the villainess" ITS AWESOME

"the moon on a rainy night" AWESOME. also blanket rec here for the rest of kuzushiro's work, shes a big favorite of mine!!!

"chasing spica" okay honestly this ones been on my to read list for a long time and i still havent gotten to it but im a big fan of orihi chihiro's doujins and fully trust he delivers here. you can crucify me if i led you astray here

"the skirt sings at the landing" AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME

"the princess of sylph" its awesome

"yuzumorisan" this ones oneloli just a warning.

scifi/fantasy/action/etcetcetc this stuffs less romance focused, or otherwise just not really the kindof more mundane romance of the previous category

"gunbured x sisters" its awesome

"hayate x blade" this one rocks. its just straightforwardly a shounen battle comedy thing. last i checked translation is not finished and super slow, but its been awhile

"shimeji simulation" kinda waffled on which category to put this one in honestly but *shrugs* anyway i feel like everyones read this but its one of the best so in it goes

"qualia the purple" another all timer, and another one i waffled on which category to place it in. it rocks

"saki" THE BEST GO READ SAKI

"unjust depths" this ones a webnovel written in english but it deserves a mention, really good. underwater real robot stuff

"girls und panzer ribon no musha" and "girls und panzer saga of pravda" as previously stated, garupan rocks. ribon no musha is the most explicitly gay it gets

"dowman sayman" is an author that im pretty sure the girlies around here like....? dont quote me on that.

i feel like im forgetting some here..... not as comprehensive as i would like..... oh well im running out of steam. hopefully this has been helpful

[teddy-feathers]

alrighty i need help

transgender coming out to family help

i live with my family and cannot quickly easily move nor really afford to at this time, so theyre going to be around a lot to ask hard questions

and like. hell, i can think of hard questions i still struggle with so god only knows what sort of answers I'll need to have ready

i mean sure i could just say "i dont want to discuss this further" or something but like a) theyre going to keep asking and b) i SUCK at making people keep my boundaries in mind

so like first off all things being equal: why does it matter? like ive lived 34 (in two days) years as a girl so why does it matter, why change now?

and really and truly i honestly believe it shouldn't matter. to be frank most of the differences between genders is socialization and like idk some minor dimorphism and there are not *many* limits that women haven't crossed over so theoretically anything i wanted to do "as a man" would be just as possible staying as is.

the thing is, ive been like *actually* aware of trans people since 2015 thanks to tumblr, and been going "i have always wanted to be a guy and now its like a real actual thing that is possible why cant i become a guy" since 2018. so obviously it does matter to me somehow im just not sure how to quantify that.

i will not lie. i could very well go on my life being a girl, being my name and shit just fine - it would not hurt me and arguably it would be so much easier and i have lived almost all my life by sticking to the status quo because its easier.

do i hate my body? sometimes. and a large part of that is just how large ive gotten.

my thing isnt really... hating everything about me, even though that does hit me on occasion. ive always been good at adapting to things and kinda glossing over how much i dislike them until they become unbearable and then boom remembering oh yeah i *hate* everything about this.

my thing is just... how much happier even little things ive done since 2018 make me. first couple of times i binded i was so happy at how square i was if that makes sense. being called sir was great. i go by teddy online but my partner's brother calls me Theodore Roosevelt the 26th president of the united states as a joke because i want my name to be Theodore and it delights me each and every time.

little things. its more about what i want - i want to be a guy. always have. used to get upset when a girl character disguised as a boy finally gets discovered or reveals themself and the charade is over. wanted a dick when i was little to be like my dad. wanted to go around topless. wanted to have a long wizard beard for funzies.

and i... dont know honestly how far i want to physically transition. dont know because largly i dont want for things I'm not sure i can have. and i was never sure i could have this.

so i want to try things. ive got an appointment set up at planned parenthood for the end of February. ive been going by teddy amongst my online friends for ages now, but itd be nice to hear it in real life more often. id like to try t, get a deeper voice and fat redistribution and go through second puberty. if i dont like it i can always stop and i understand that some of the changes are permanent.

like that is a risk i am willing to take.

im scared... of social backlash. family, work, random assholes.

but like. work *should* be fine. and honestly with how slow hormones seem to hit, I'll have time before I'll have to tell them.

Regaurdless i want the boobs gone. never asked for these, dont want them, hated them my whole life and there is a world where i dont have to have them - this one. fuck my gender identity, im good getting rid of them no matter how this shakes down. ... course ive heard you gain more weight and they grow back :/

idk. like. im sure theyll have questions. if im really sure. anecdotes about why i cant be trans.

and like. i figure my dad will say if ive done the research and decided to do it, then on my head so be it Regaurdless if he agrees.

and my mom will probably be supportive in that she will tell people im trans or whatever but also ill probably always be her daughter so i expect shell get the pronouns wrong or call me sis by mistake (my aunt started that shit when she moved in, my mom picked it up, and i loath being called sis)

my aunt... honestly ive talked about this before but something she said the other day made it clear to me that there is no goal post i could hit to make her see someone as the gender theyre aiming for. like shes said something like "kids dont know themselves all that well/ change their minds about stuff/ will say what makes someone happy - but if a person is an adult and theyve been going over it for a while they can do what they want" but like. thats for other people. shell have so many things to say and questions to nit pick and prove im not im sure

idk what theyll ask, i dont know what to prepare or say or do.

i just. want to do this. so so bad. and if i dont tell them and start changing but hiding it from them even if i tell them later it will be a *problem* with my family. like they will never get over it if i dont tell them because itll be like saying i dont trust them or i dont want them to be a part of my life.

like. i know... even if there is a definitive test you could to go "this person is actually trans science says so" and i dont make the cut.... id still want to do this. id regret not doing this.

even if i do go through all of this and decided it wasnt for me after all, i only wanted this or that, i wouldn't regret trying it or any of the "consequences" of trying it

and i know i said i wasnt going to come out this presidency just in case he fucks shit up and its no longer possible or like. idk its made into a big problem like "put this person in a psych ward until theyre fixed" sort of thing...

theres never going to be a right moment.

im very capable of just sitting here and letting life pass me by or just happen to me instead of participating in it and making plans and goals that i actually think i can make happen.

im not looking for permission from my family, just informing them that hey so this is a thing you might should probably be aware of, but the thing is ive lived most of my life waiting for permission for everything. or doing what my family deems right. or being a failure for not doing the things ive been taught to know i should do.

im tired and scared and angry - so so angry because even if i had a ten page dissertation on how i want to be and why im allowed to do this, and facts and figures and cited sources it probably wouldnt really *matter* if this doesnt go well.

might make it easier to feel like i won something if it becomes a fight, but probably not.

i just. its not as easy as sitting down for dinner and going "oh btw im going to be a guy from now on, I'll let you know how that pans out for me"

therell be questions i dont know how to answer because i dont even know what the questions will be

and i dont even know how to phrase it

and like. im not going to bite someones head off for calling me she or my name now, or whatever. im not going to really give a crap unless its like. im however many years on t and have 5 o clock shadow or a beard and no boobs because at that point its like. come on, really?

im... like obviously im sure my fam would have to have the convo with other family to be like "hey you know Danielle? well shes Theodore now" but i also know ill be... really fucked up about it if the convo goes something like "so she thinks shes a guy now, yeah internet brainwashed her"

and like. if they just go "im not calling you that/ still going to call you your name/ i dont care what you say you're a girl always have been always will be" im going to be so fucked up and feeling some kinda way about that.

but thats the thing. i dont have to be a girl. a woman. whatever. i can be a guy. that is a choice i can make. and there are things i can do to make other people see me that way too. and i can legally change my name. and all sorts of other goal posts i can meet but dont have to. i can just. be a guy. just a dude. just introduce myself however i want and no one can stop me.

and im doing it.

like is it scary and a lot of work and am i going to possibly have ramifications to doing so? absolutely. but im willing and able to do it. i can just. go forth and conquer.

like. im very much the sort of person to take the path of least resistance but like. the only path of least resistance isnt really. like even if i dont tell my family they will find out and notice somethings up eventually.

i just. dont know how to face it head on.

i can just not do this and live my life "like a normal person" because "im not special" and "it isnt allowed" but like i want to do this

and ive already made up my mind to start *living* my life. life isnt like. a bunch of stuff happens to you and you just get through it the best you can until you die. like sure thats there but thats not really living.

idk. now im rambling. any help you can provide would be much appreciated.

[m-joys]

Bayverse Turtles with a S/O who has a scar

@baby-turtlefan :could you do a tmnt14/16 headcanon where the turtle crush has a big scar that they try to hide, but the turtle saw it and ask why they are hiding it? (Like a big scar on there arm, on there head or other places due to an accident or something like that) Sorry if my English is bad, it isn’t my mother language.

A/n_:This took way too long and its crap. English isn't my first language either, so excuse me for that. Not proof read or edited, Ive been struggling a lot lately lmao

----

----

Leo:

Realizes something's wrong when he gets to know you a bit better. He's very observant whether he's aware of it or not. Notices those small things like checking yourself out on your phone screen or fixing your makeup even if you're at home.(If its on your face)

He sees it all. When you pull your sleeve down just enough to cover your palms,avoiding to wear shorts or anything showing your legs and changing immediately once they arrive at your place (if its on your body)

Puts off comforting you about it for a while. He has feelings for you and wouldnt risk putting you in an uncomfortable situation by asking something that he thinks isnt his bussines.

Over time that worrying builds up in his mind,which isn't suprising since his thoughts about it consider only the worse.What if somethings going on but you don't want to tell them because youre scared how they'll react?What if another person inflicted that scar on you?What if its more?

Once he decides to confront you about it he does it in privacy of your apartment or his room.He wont specifically ask you to come to his room or ask to meet up alone just so he could ask you,but if you're already in that position he might as well go for it.

Depending on the way you got the scar and what you choose to tell him,his reaction might differ a bit in a sense od what his thoughts are on the whole situation.

Carries a gentle approach before you even start talking about it. Makes sure you know that you can tell him everything and that he wont judge you the slightest.You his crush afterall,he loves you deeply and is trying his utter best to make you feel loved without revealing that he loves you back(at least not too much,hes bad at keeping this kind of thing a secret)

That reassurance goes far beyong just that moment.If he ever notices you starting to cover it up or checking if other people can see it he just takes in your hand and shoots you that comforfing look in his eyes(you know what I mean) that could make the worst pain feel so much better.

After that, he realizes that it doesnt matter if you return his feelings(how could you not tho?).He loves you and his first priority as that youre feeling safe being yourself around him and seeing him as someone you can trust,just like how he trusts you.

Raph:

Takes a bit more to notice whats actually going on.Its not that he doesn't care about you,it's just that to him its far much more important how you two get along and interact whit each other than what you might consider "imperfection" in your appearance.

Brushes off you hiding it a couple of times until it builds up over time that he can't help but not notice.That repeated action of pulling your sleeves downward/checking yourself in a tiny mirror started annoying the hell out of him.

It's not the act itself that's getting on his nerves but rather the feeling like you don't think of him like someone who can understand you and what you're feeling.Sure,he can act like a big brute sometimes,but he still likes to think that you're close enough to share stuff with each other.

Asks you in a middle of a conversation what's going on with you hiding your scar. Sure,to you it may seem like he asked you out of the blue, but really hes been planing about asking you a week prior but has never gotten the chance.

You were talking about anything and everything, making jokes, confessing some of the embarassing shit you've done before meeting, laughing at the previously mentioned jokes. The atmosphere was good so he thought it would be a good idea to ask you while you're still in a good mood.

Regrets his decision when you go awfully quiet. Wasnt prepared for it to go this way and doesnt know what to do at the moment. Starts tripping over his words as to break the silence,but somehow makes it more uncomfortable.

After a good minute of kinda stuttering and getting frustrated, he just gives up and says whats on his mind in the most simple way he can. That includes something in the lines of "Look, I really care about you and I wish you could trust me to accept you as who you are just like you accept me."

If you were unsure if he likes you up to that point,now you know for sure what he thinks about you(all the nice stuff ofc). This leads you to becoming more aloof about covering it up and possibly being less insecure about it.

Donnie:

Noticed it casually,took a note of it in his mind and forgot it later. Think like "Oh they have a scar, alright nice". He remebers it and acknowledges it but doesn't mention it since he doesnt see it as a deal-breaker.

Starts thinking about it more when he remembers it during one of his brain storms where he just gets a rush of a thousand diffrent things at once.Has a one sided 10 minute conversation with himself about how he should go about this.

He's not sure what approach he should go with so he starts noting down your behavior as to decide the proper action he should take. Do you seem to hate it or just dislike it? Are you actively hiding it or just covering it up? Depending on the answers it might go two ways:

If you seem to really dislike it and are very insecure about it he will take a slower approach,waiting for you two to get close before he does anything drastic. He wants for you to feel comfortable sharing a sensitive topic with him and openly discussing it together.

Waits for the perfect situation which is most likely when you're both alone, most likely in his room, and slowely eases into a casual conversation with you talking about usual topics or just how has your day been.

He takes the moment after a good laugh when your both relaxed to simply spit it out. Regrets it the moment he notices your eyes get glassy after theyve lost their spark and you no longer seem to be in as happy mood.

Speed-talks about he didn't mean to make you uncomfortable and just wants you to trust him enough to discuss it with him and how you still dont have to if you don't want to. Stops and realizes his distress is putting you in a worse space then it was before.

Sits you on his bed and tells you that you can open up if you want but that he's not gonna force you. In the end you decide to talk to him because you can see his genuine concern.Reassures you the whole time that you're beautiful both inside and out.

That night can end in two ways: a) Both of you hugging it out and parting your ways or(the nicer option) b) accidentally falling asleep(since the tots have a messed up schedule) on his bed while he admires you and later goes out to finish some project being very proud of himself.

Mikey:

Notices within the first month of knowing you and asks right away. Chances are, you two hang out a lot once he realises you're his crush (which is like a moment after he met you) and because of that same reason he becomes very observant.

There isnt much thought behind his question, just curiosity. He would gladly answer all your questions (unless godly uncomfortable, but chances are low) and wants you to answer his. Hes not going to force you if you're uncomfortable and will regret asking it later when his alone.

Doesn't like the fact that he made you not feel comfortable and just a second after will assure you that you dont have to answer and that he just thought it was cool. Secretly hopes that you will choose to answer 'cause you're his crush and he wants you to be able to trust him.

Listens carefully while sitting across from you with a hand on your shoulder, all while nodding his head. He understand everything and is glad you choose to trust him with something you didnt like about yourself.

As of what he thinks about your scar, he finds it very intresting. He has a lot of his own, some that he doesnt think flatter his looks, but will proudly show them to you and run his mouth about how he got it and where he got it.

Loves listening to your stories too! Not just about that one certain scar, but any other scars you might posses. Sees it as some very intresting bonding time and will initiate it after the whole situation

Considers that youve gotten closer after that inciddent. The thing that matters the most to him is you and the friendship and possible relationship that could bloom within you two. Boys head over heals, and youll be abble to see it by the way he acts around you.

[literaphobe]

i don't understand why purpled is so popular with the reddit. theres nothing wrong with him but no other cc has had such a massive shower with praise as purpled. like they love fruitninja but at least with them they can point out strengths and weaknesses, but noone ever holds any criticisms to purpled. ive thought about it a little and like. do you remember when sapnap first started really popping off and how occasionally someone would say something about him being "the new technoblade", maybe that kind of thing is being projected onto him?? another anon mentioned his bedwars ability as a reason ppl may like him, and techno had a whole series of the bedwars winstreak and was big with hypixel fans, so maybe thats part of it? it could just be more misogyny as well, he and jojo joined canon events the same time so maybe they just - consciously or not use him as a way to undermine her.

if anything sapnap went through so much to be considered S tier, had to literally break 4k coins, and still gets the ol’ ‘his teams are always so cracked!’ argument to downplay his success. anyway i just looked at the mcc wikis

and i think people have such a hard on for ‘changing the rules’ for purpled because he got 2nd in mcc24 (which. would not have happened imo if not for ace race being the fiasco that it was) and second frag on his team was ranboo at 22nd place. and they were like losing their minds about it because its such a hard carry. and in all honesty i think this is mostly ranboo’s fault for not getting a better placement (um joke)

BUT. two things: the actual first place in that event was hbomb, who beat purpled by 200 coins. like id get it more if the difference was less than 50 coins but in no way was that purpled being cheated of first place. like he just wasn’t first! which means he didn’t do the best! and yes ranboo and wilbur ‘underperformed’ so you can say ‘oh poor unlucky purpled had to hard carry’ but part of being S tier is that you have to LEAD your team into performing better instead of just doing well on your own. and he’s done that on cracked teams but he hasn’t gotten first…

also, in that same event jojo was only like 50 coins behind him, and SHE HAD THE LITERAL WEAKER TEAM BY A LONG SHOT. everyone predicted that team in last bc they had way less experience and hannah was literally new. while the gap between jojo and hannah wasn’t as big as the gap between purpled and ranboo it was still pretty damn significant and she still carried HARD and defied MANY expectations…. so why was purpled suddenly undeniably S tier but not her?

[futurewriter2000]

Rocks and Dust

A/N: I don't know why Remus gave me such Heath Ledger vibes when I was writing this but he did and I am honestly so fucking proud of it. Now, I really want to make myself some rice and chicken... or just rice. I hope you like it <3

REQUESTED BY @cloudywitchh: Hiiii, Im not sure if your requests are open, but if they are i have one. :)) Before I request, I want you to know that I love your oneshots and series! ive been binge reading. Could you possibly do a Gryffindor reader that has both james and remus that like her. oneshot or series. if you choose to write it, thank you, if not i understand

XX

Souls meet when eyes do and it hasn't been much easy to hold yourself back when such mesmerising hazel eyes had done nothing but watch you seductively.

At first you couldn't feel it but after a while, something in the back of your mind told you to look a certain direction. When you did, your eyes met his and a certain colour started to appear on your cheeks.

You watched him, he watched you. "Yes, Potter?" you asked with a smirk forming on the corner of your lips.

He smiled, tilting his head a bit to the side before speaking. "Had you done something new with your hair?" he asked, glancing up at your hair as you let out a laugh.

"Not really."

"Well, no matter of it." he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You look absolutely stunning."

You felt your heart flutter in your chest but you were not about to let him know that. "Thank you. When don't I look absolutely stunning." you joked and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, mate." Remus came into the common room and tapped James' shoulder as he passed him by, sitting next to him.

James smile faded a bit. He was a tad disappointed in his friend's presence. Everything had seemed to go so well between you and him. If the two of you continued to be alone, he would have had more confidence to ask you out on a date. Knowing that Remus took fancy in you too, it was a bit challenging to do so.

"What's up, Moony?" James looked at him, clearly not in a friendliest tone Remus was used to.

Remus' lips twirled upwards and he felt amused by his friends' frustration. He looked at you and smiled wonderfully. "Hi." he said and you smiled cheerfully, oblivious to the competition in front of you.

"Hi, Remus."

You seemed to be a tad disappointed as well. You loved to flirt with James because it seemed so easy and fun to do yet sometimes you couldn't understand whether he truly likes you or if he's doing it just out of fun. But you live by your mother's words; If a man truly likes you, he will do absolutely everything to let you know and pursue you.

That was why you were always so laid back. You didn't overthink anything when it came to boy. They seemed to think more simply than girls and whatever they did, they did because they wanted to, not because there was a whole scheme behind their actions.

You could see a bit discomfort in James. You couldn't really figure out why but he started to pout, which had made you a bit more uncomfortable around both of them.

Remus, however, loved to talk to you. He was open and honest but sometimes you felt as if he held too many secrets inside of him. To you, he was a bit harder to get to know, no matter how much he could tell you.

"You're going to love this, (y/n)!" he started to sound more excited. "I had found the oldest yet most interesting place a few nights ago-" he hear- both of you heard James scoff to that. "And I know your curious spirit cannot wait to explore it."

"Where?!" you threw all your books away and jumped forward. Old ruins and historic backgrounds always made you overly excited. You must have gotten it from your dad's side of the family. Everybody seemed to be more of history freaks and you were no different.

"I can show you. What do you think James?" Remus turned to James, who only laughed.

"No, thank you." he stood up and stretched his arms over his body. "Rocks and dust? Not my cup of tea. If I wanted to take a girl I fancy-" he looked at you with a grin and a soft chuckle. "I'd take her somewhere more romantic." he walked to you and winked. "A lovely restaurant or a walk among the trees under the moonlight." he was leaning down to you, close and observing the flush in your cheeks.

Your eyes were meeting and it lit a fiery spark between the two of you but as you didn't want to give him the pleasure of it, you rolled your eyes and moved away. "That's a bit of a cliche, isn't it, Potter?" you stood up and stretched your back as well. "I don't do romance." you turned from James to Remus and smiled excitedly. "Shall we go and explore!?"

"Yes we shall."

---

Remus hasn't felt you this excited over some 'rocks and dust' in all the years he had known you but he had felt his heart fill with joy and love when he could see how a person can live for the small things in life. You didn't care about wealth or power, neither if a person was physically beautiful and attractive. You neither cared if person had its flaws, you still loved anybody for who they were; good or evil. You always tried to look the best in people and your gift was, that you always seemed to bring out just that out of everybody and especially out of him.

As the two of you had walked, he had realised that he wants to tell you something important to him. It wasn't a secret to his friends and family but it was a shameful secret to him and to everybody else.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked as the two of you were climbing up the hill.

"Yeah." you stopped, gasping for air and putting your hands on your hips. "I think we need to rest too." you smiled and he laughed.

"It's not that far. We're almost close."

"My heart is almost close to stopping too."

He laughed again and sat on the rock, finding the moon shining on him as if it was leaving its fullness from a few days ago. "I just have the need to tell you this... and I'm serious."

You looked up at him and found the moon perfectly cut out the colour of his green eyes. "Your eyes look so pretty in the moonlight." you said without any filter but sat down next to him.

"Thank you."

You smiled and looked up at the moon before taking a look of his worried expression. "What is it?" you shoved him a little as he smiled. "You can tell me your deepest darkest secret." you joked but it was no joke to him.

"Well... I'm... I'm a werewOlf." he stuttered out, trying to sound casually as he said so but unsuccessful.

You only stared in silence, clearly processing the information as he was impatient to wait for your reaction. Your eyes only narrowed at him and you nodded. "I knew it."

"You knew it?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I mean, I didn't know it. I just know there was something to you that I couldn't put my finger on but I kind of knew it. It did cross my mind once but I brushed it off quickly. I didn't believe it but apparently my intuition was on to something." you laughed and stood up, offering him your hand. "Shall we continue?"

"You don't seem a tad phased by it." he took your hand gently and stood up.

"Oh, I am but I really don't mind people being people. You know?" you started to talk fast. "I don't judge people by their flaws, more by their actions and I don't seem why your werewolfness would bother me when there are far worse withces, wizards and Muggles in this world, who are far more worse than any werewolf I had encounter. Which, you're the first but still. You don't seem the one to eat children and howl at the moon."

He let out a loud laugh. "I don't eat children but I do the latter."

---

The two of you walked up the hill hand in hand, him trying to pull you up as his steps were much larger than yours. He was more of muscles than you, faster and careful as for you seemed to trip over a branch or two.

He had opened up as the two of you made your way to the top and started to walk on the flatlands. It stretched far away from the castle but you could see the ruins so clearly from the distance. The light of he moon made the subject far more pleasing to the eye and at that moment when Remus was talking to you and your eyes seemed to wander on the view- everything seemed to be perfect and you imprinted that moment into your memory so that you can look back and re-live it all over again.

As he talked, he seemed more lose and excited. He hadn't held back on anything. He had told you about Animagnus forms of his friends and how he isn't the only one who howls at the moon. Sirius apparently loves to do it just as well in his other form. He had constantly made you laugh by his full moon stories and how he accepted the awful fact of his life-long destiny of sharing his body with a beast.

He was glowing, literally glowing when he was telling you all the things he was hiding from you and for the first time, you were the one to listen and he was the one constantly talking.

"We're here!" he pointed at the ruins of an old castle. It wasn't big or notorious as Camelot or Hogwarts or any other historically known castle. It was small and poor in it's built but it was still a castle, just not the traditional kind.

He let go of your hand and it gave you a sort of an electrical shock as he did. You seemed to be so comfortable and in love of holding hands that you completely forgot what it was like without his fingers intertwined with yours.

It wasn't for long though. He had opened the old wooden door for you and offered you his hand to lead you inside. "After you, m'lady." he bowed as a gentleman should and you hurried up inside, taking him by the hand and leading him behind you.

Your wands needn't to be lit as the moonlight made it's own natural light through the large gaps between the rocks. Nature made it's own charm by growing vines around the walls, flowers and grass among the cracks. It truly did feel more magical than the magic itself.

"Oh, Remus look!" you ran to one of the walls and saw names carved in. "Ibzan." you smiled back at him.

"Old biblical name." Remus followed and saw many other names written around it. "Arthur." he laughed. "Wouldn't be an English castle without an Arthur in it."

"Tatiana." you looked at it. "Like a princess." you looked at him but he seemed to be very close to you, staring forward. His chest was against your back and his head leaning over your shoulder. You didn't have to look back. You could only move your eyes to the side and see him there.

He seemed to be so focused on the rocks in front of you that he hasn't even noticed you marvelling at him. All you could see, for the first time noticing his sharp, nicely structured side profile. His cheek bones were finely defined, his lips sharp and plump and his eyebrows nicely arched.

He truly was a beautiful boy and you hadn't noticed it till now. His palm was placed against the rock as he was supporting himself but when he had noticed you looking at him, he slyly looked back. A corner of his mouth quirked up and he said: "A girl doesn't need to be a princess to have a beautiful name." he spoke low and quietly.

The spark that James lit before was over-flamed by the passion Remus arroused in you. Before you knew it, he was leaning down and kissed you softly. One short kiss and it was enough to tempt you for more. You put your hand around his neck and pulled him down for me, smiling into it as you had felt him smile as well. As heavy as they felt, they seemed light as well because no kisses seemed to be as perfect as his; soft, teasing yet deep and passionate.

When he placed his hand on your cheek you could feel the dust set on your skin. You let out a giggle and he pulled away. "What?" he smiled but then just noticed how dark your cheek was. "Oh, my-" he let out a laugh, then looked back on the wall his palm was pressed on before. "I am terribly sorry."

You laughed as well. "Don't worry." you continued to laugh and wipe it away. "It'll probably wash away."

"Probably." he tilted his head a bit and gave you a peck. "And we should probably head back."

Putting your arms around his neck, you made a big stretch and looked up at the sky. "Ugh..." you looked back into his green eyes, burning your soul into sparks and bitses. "But it's so beautiful here." you let out a small whine and he chuckled.

"Well, (y/n)(y/l/n). I didn't think you did romance." he teased.

"I don't. I let the man do all the romance for me." you stepped on your tiptoes and brushed your nose against his.

"That's a bit unfair."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Lupin. I have time to make it fair."

"Glad to hear it."

[absentmoon]

hunter thoughts!!! i have a lot to say and tbh im probably only confident enough to criticize bc i know im qualified lol this one is LONG LONG

okk SO i do have some problems with how hunter is written.. not hunter himself actually he's really great i think!! he's very understandable i think hes very realistic representation imo :)

i just hate how other characters are written to treat him. i think from a purely storytelling perspective its mostly understandable (even if idont find it justified tho i know im emotional about children So im biased), but from a writing and representation standpoint its! often extremely uncomfortable!

first and most important to me is the multiple throwaway lines (..jokes? gags? i cant tell tone) about hunter going back/being handed over to be.los? i could understand if these were brought up again but they just Arent ^^; and like thats deeply discomforting! this is a plotline that needs to be handled with care. there are going to be people and especially children who empathize with hunter and his situation. seeing jokes about being handed over thrown out and then dropped are just..well to be honest kind of triggering! :') like beyond that its just not... good in any way to joke about that? if it was picked up more and carried out as a plotline i could be more understanding definitely! but (for the most part) theyre just kinda There

it also rubs me the wrong way how hunter is consistently made to prove himself, or how its shown that he's completely in the wrong for believing his uncle. like yes, hes done bad things, but bel.os is 1) a mass manipulator 2) the only adult and probably the only person hunter knew for at least most of his life 3) the emperor. ofc hunter isn't going to be totally good right away- he's only just now gotten a support system!!

ive gone super off topic WHOOPS. but back to my point its just kinda eughh to me that its implied that hunter should've been against bel.os wayyy sooner. thats not how abuse works! its extremely common for victims to latch onto and defend their abusers thats just? a normal reaction? and i get writing characters to be upset with him, that's understandable, but sometimes it gets to the point - mostly with the adults - where its just too much for me :( especially when hes very clearly trying to learn? for someone whos been isolated forever thats super impressive and needs to be encouraged!

honestly idk i forgot my main points im just protective ^^; the first paragraph is the thing that upsets me the most for sure

[lastwave]

do all the asks for dnd renfield i double dare you

DARE TAKEN.

1: How did you come up with your OCs name?

tha dracula special interest

2: Does your OC have a theme?

OH I JUST TALKED ABT THIS!! we decided that this piano of sigmas theme is very him

3: What is their Class?

SOULKNIFE ROGUE. he was going to be a college of whispers bard but then his charisma needed to be shit. also soulknife is cooler and directly tied to the dracula curse (haven't figured out the exact details)

4: What is their Race?

human. lol

5: Are they from a Module or a Homebrew?

the Heckna! module :)

6: What TTRPG are they from? (D&D, VTM, or something else?)

D&D!

7: Have you gotten to actively play them/introduce them to the story yet?

ive rped as him so ya!

8: What do they look like? (Do you have art of them? Are you open to fan art?)

ohh ok ok. so u know my dracula renfield design? that but he has multiple outfits and he dyes one half of his hair brown because he has trouble coming to terms with the fact hes old LOL

9: What is their personality like?

answered this bad boy

10: What’s their relationship with their parents like?

oughhhh god. ok. he has very mixed feelings on his birth parents. they did what was best to keep him safe as a kid but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt (see iliveinprocrastination's ask abt number 11 for context). he has had a lot of parental and mentorial figures in his life tho and i think he loves all of them. and misses them very deeply

11: Where did they grow up? Do they miss it? Would they ever go back if they could?

answered this one<3

12: Did they have any backstory adventures before joining the party? If not, what were they doing before they were introduced?

ehhhhhh? they werent really adventures but he did have an eventful life pre campaign due to being a traveling act (escape artist & contortionist)

13: What is their alignment? What would THEY say their alignment is? Does it matter to them?

answered this bad boy too

14: Are there any secrets to their backstory you know, but they don’t know yet? (Secret parentage perhaps?)

not that i know of. unless the dm has plans i dont know abt

15: Do they have a favorite food?

onion soup 👍

16: Least favorite food?

gooseberries

17: What means the most to them? (Not a person)

BAILEY HIS MEXICAN REDLEG TARANTULA FRIEND

18: Who means the most to them?

hrm. thats a good question. i dont know<3 out of living people probably elaine? first long-ish friendship in a WHILE.

19: Do they hate anything? (Not a person)

gooey textures ?

20: Do they hate anyone?

dracula LOL. he Will hate heckna later but he hasnt gotten there yet

21: Are they currently in a romance? (NPC or PC)

this man is ace/aro (probably more greyromantic but yanno. under the umbrella) so no

22: Do they have any romance in their backstory? If it ended, how did it end?

midlife crisis where he tried to convince himself he enjoyed dating and hookups

23: Do they have a favorite school of magic?

he does not know that humans can do magic yet

24: Least favorite school of magic?

see above

25: Have they ever lost someone important to them?

yea. sorry for putting u in the blender old man its for the themes and motifs and plot

26: If you had the choice, would you rather they have a happy ending, a bittersweet ending, or a tragic ending?

HAPPY. LET HIM REST MY GOD.

27: Are they a liar? Do they lie to the party, or only to others? Do they usually think they have a good reason?

liar is a strong word. he will if he feels its in his vested interest in survival to. hes not a good liar, but hes very good at avoiding truths.

28: What’s the worst thing they’ve ever done? How do they feel about it?

he used to be like. really mean when he was younger in the whole. scaring people department. he probably did a pretty mean spirited joke on someone that didn't end well. i think he feels bad about it.

29: What’s the best thing they’ve ever done? How do they feel about it?

oughhhhh u know? whatever good hes done for other people i dont think he recognizes it because for the longest time he was never able to see the results. im gonna have to think abt this one

30: Who is their favorite NPC? Or PC if they’re an NPC?

bailey counts as an npc right

31: Least favorite NPC? Or PC if they’re an NPC?

unknown at the moment but it will prooobably be heckna

32: If they suddenly lost their class and had to pick a new one, what would they choose? What would YOU choose for them?

he would choose ranger probably. id choose abberrant mind sorcerer because it fucks

33: If they played the TTRPG they’re from, what would they play as?

FIRBOLG CIRCLE OF DREAMS DRUID NAMED FREYA W/ THE FEYLOST BACKGROUND

34: What is their biggest flaw?

answered this and the next one

35: What do they think their biggest flaw is?

see above

36: What is the best thing about them?

he cares a lot for the people around him. he doesn't make it known verbally but u can tell by his actions

37: What do they think the best thing about them is?

he thinks hes soooo funny

38: What would happen if they suddenly appeared on Earth?

he would simply go back to sleep because it would be a dream 2 him

39: If they suddenly appeared on Earth, what time period would you place them in? What location? Why?

victorian era london. puts him back in his habitat

skipping 40 because idk ❤️

[dykepuffy]

Wistful Waltz - a puffychu fanmix

tracklist + notes under the cut!

SO! first thing first this is based on the dynamic ive created for them in my head. its how i think they should have played out if we had gotten more character interactions. so keep in mind this is mostly opinion of my own. either way i hope you enjoy!

this is technically two playlists in one, or rather two separate narratives happening alongside eachother. this is done intentionally to show how puffy and niki are at no point in their relationship 'on the same wave'. they have different ideas and expectations which just. Do Not Get Talked About. leading to a massive issue of miscommunication.

A Wistful Waltz - Teddy Hyde

Relativity proves That I'll see you soon

the beginning. this song encompasses their starting dynamic as well as highlighting obvious issues which will only get worse as time passes. its a dance, they waltz together to pass the days in simple peace. theres no need to speak or fight, just exist together. but of course the waltz must come to an end and they leave with that as the basis of their relationship. and with the belief that they will see eachother soon.

Exist For Love by AURORA

And then you take me in And everything in me begins to feel like I belong Like everybody needs a home

niki pov. nikis main drive is the need for community. the need for friends and love. and at this point she has that. schlatt is dead! its new l'manburg! and yes it seems the cabinet is moving on without her and wilbur, her best friend, is dead but, she just went on a date with a pretty girl! everything is turning up roses. and even when she does feel sad she knows she can depend on puffy. if she pours her entire self into this relationship is destined to work.

Love Like This - Kodaline

The sun will stop shining soon And you'll be dark in my life Yeah, you'll be gone, it's as simple as a change of heart But I'm not gonna think about the future

puffy pov. puffy on the other hand, is not having these thoughts. while she loves niki and shes truly having fun, she just doesnt need it. she wants it but nothing you want ever lasts long. and puffy doesnt understand how niki is feeling because she came onto the server post-doomsday. aswell on the fact that niki wont talk because their relationship isnt built on deep conversations, its built on fleeting moments of enjoyment spent together. to puffy, the end is inevitable because nothing lasts forever but she will enjoy while she can.

I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You - Charlie Burg

But I only think of you Will we be together soon? I'm thrown to the wayside You're planted in my mind, alright

But I don't wanna be okay without you

niki pov. time goes on and niki begins to find herself more isolated from her friends. tommy was exiled, dreams gaining control over new l'manburg, and everyone is moving on to do new things. so she turns to find comfort in puffy, an ever growing dependence on that fragile stability.

See You - Lady Lamb

Have we fucked ourselves over? Making our world so right Overnight

puffy pov. this is a song meant in jest. its puffy joking about the way their 'perfect' relationship came to be. a base of sweet nothings and simple songs cant form a serious relationship, not in the way niki desires. puffy knows this but she wont make any move to change it because she doesnt need to.

Cassiopeia - Anju

The both of us are breathing in each other's ears Our secrets speak different languages Still your whisper's clear

With you I feel grapefruit juice running in my blood I'm just a little confused what to think of us

niki pov. beginning of the end.

Training Montage - The Mountain Goats

I'm doing this for revenge I'm doing this to try and stay true I'm doing this for the ones They had to leave behind, I'm doing this for you

puffy pov. egg arc bay-be!! also this when they first start drifting apart bc puffy is busy

A Pearl - Mitski

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about

niki pov. its important to know that this is at around the time of her lowest point mentally and what she believes may not reflect reality.

Freakin' Out On the Interstate - Briston Maroney

I'm sorry I haven't been myself And something's got me down What it is, I cannot tell I won't be satisfied with anything I've earned Fear is just a part of love And one thing I found Is love is what you deserve

puffy pov. this is the height of the egg resistance.

All The Things She Said - Poppy

When they stop and stare, don't worry me 'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

niki pov. the previous sentiment of an emotionally confused narrator is still relevant.

Fraulein - Pale Young Gentlemen

She will turn me down, but then at least know that I'm around. So I pine for my fraulein.

puffy pov. its the banquet and spirits are high! they have a plan to take down the egg and shes confident in victory. she never expected to see niki here however.

Strange - Celeste

I am still me You are still you In the same place

Isn't it strange How people can change From strangers to friends Friends into lovers And strangers again?

niki pov. its the banquent and shes not feeling too good.

Heavy As Lead - Leyla McCalla

And that little heart, so little and complete Doesn't worry 'bout making ends meet As the dust is settling on every street I am filling with dread

puffy pov. post-banquent.

And You - Ill Spector

If you're a fool, then I'm a fool And you are If you're awake, then I'm awake And you are If you're alive, then I'm alive And you are, thank God If you're in love, then I'm in love Are you?

niki pov. she can never bring herself to hate puffy. no matter how angry or how bitter she feels. but she doesnt understand her or what she really thinks.

Long Haul - Voxtrot

I wanna catch a love and make it last Oh it's a long, long haul And you lie to us both We are words nothing holds

puffy pov. puffy isnt stupid, or oblivious. she knows theyre relationship disinigrated bc of the path she chose and shes regretful for that.

Is It True? - Mabel Ye

You're the perfect one for me I'm sure No other reason, see I'm torn- Is it true? I don't love you

niki pov. at long last shes settling her feelings.

Vanilla Curls - Teddy Hyde

Instant kindred inhibition, a kiss then distance It isn't over, lets call it: An infinite intermission

puffy pov. i said earlier that she wasnt stupid. i lied. now everything has been 'solved' shes still interested in niki and believes they really could get back together and be happy. lol.

Fish in the Sea - Liana Flores

I could drive myself mad Endlessly reliving moments we never had Painting brighter memories That can't match up to what's real, so I hold on to the past Hope that this won't last

niki pov. she is trying to move on. keyword: trying. but at least it ends on a fairly happy note!