#this is such a stupid fucking way to think and it annoys me so much because i can find every book ever made in ebook in 5 minutes but
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On the scale of 1 (Rise of Skywalker) to 10 (Shadowbringer/Endwalker), where would you place Veilguard?
critical post
I’ve burst into enraged tears like 5 times since I finished it, which is not nearly even close to as many times as Rise of Skywalker, but still 5 times too many. Just the shallowness of the writing, the obviousness, the incredible frustration at the simplicity, the ignoring so much of my favorite character in order to make a stupidly simple plot work, the horrendous time I had trying to ignore Rook’s annoying stupid fuckass pov while just trying to self-insert myself into the end of my favorite fictional character of all time’s story after waiting 10 years. I screamed in frustration that I had to hear the painfully obvious commentary these brand newcomer characters who I did not give a shit about, explaining to me like a toddler how I should feel about revelations I have been writing about for 10 years, especially when what they were saying was stupid as fuck. I cried at the thought of so many cutscenes and so much effort went into stories I found very forgettable and went nowhere, while they were able to only scrounge up like 10 total animated shots reuniting Solas and Lavellan. I mourn that I could not make any decisions in a BioWare game. I mourn Solas’ story so much, and probably will for years. I will never get over the way they talked down to him and never listened to him for even a second, lest they actually have to write a branching path into their game. I hate that the theme was regret but Rook regrets nothing ever so (shrugs) regret doesn’t affect them or mean anything to them. I mourn the loss of the voice and point of view of his people, the ones he was fighting for, the ones who are alive. I mourn that it turns out that he’s just a stupid feral dog who is 100% wrong about everything always and he always has been from the beginning of time. I cried that the game said the answer was that Solas should NOT try to help his people and they never even discussed it as a philosophical question or the ethics of it or anything, or playing as a character so dense they never once even wondered if accidentally freeing the gods killed more people overall than the veil coming down would have. (We avoided this question like the plague, lest we feel less like purely Good Heroes who could talk down to the gods with righteous fury). I mourn that I’m never going to know what would have happened without the Veil. I feel so stupid for thinking that elves or spirits as factions would appear in any capacity with lines and perspectives in this game. I’m so angry at how safe and smoothed over everything in the setting is, and how it felt like the main characters never struggled with anything and have nothing to say. I can’t believe Dragon Age is so shallow and unsatisfying and head-empty. I mourn that the story of Dragon Age is Over to me and I will never play another game.
I’ve also cried a few times at the completely separated and individual imagery and music in the last scene. I’ve cried that my favorite character didn’t die in any world after 10 years of being at death’s door. I’ve cried at the thought of him being a little worm spirit, and that I was right about him the whole time. I cried when activating Felassan’s crystal in the final fight and seeing all the buffs. I cried when I turned the page and realized the default inquisitor was exactly the same as my personal Lavellan, down to hair style, eye color, hair color, vallaslin removed. I cried when I realized Solas thought he should have died as a spirit rather than be born. I cried that the main story Dragon Age has been telling the whole time has been about the reconciliation and freeing of my favorite fictional character. I cried that Solas and Lavellan got married in the end, when I genuinely wasn’t expecting either of them to even be alive. They’re both still alive and in love in every single world. I can’t wrap my head around that.
I have no idea where to put it. It’s a few high highs but some intolerably low fucking lows. It could have been so much worse but the bar is on the fucking floor. I go back and forth between moderate enjoyment to just being so angry. It could have been so much more and I do not know who to bite for it.
I have no idea.
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Hello I was wondering if you could do Jackson ellie x bestfreind reader and like they have had a crush on eachother for a while and have a sleepover where they smoke or drink maybe or play some type of game like truth or dare and find out they like eachother and get kinda freaky idk. Thank you!
EEE I am so excited for this one watch me cook on this request. This is a rlly good request and I wanna write something just as good!! Also I want to recommend you an ao3 fic with this EXACT plot it's tagged here actually my favorite Ellie fic ever.
Content: 4k words, bestfriend reader, Jackson setting, pent-up feelings, nipple-play (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), tribbing, Ellie puts a finger into your mouth how fun!, a lot of dialogue before the actual sex sorry but I loved writing Ellie to be funny, reader likes pink a lot (couldn't help myself) and is afab, reader and Ellie 18+, NOT PROOFREAD LMAO
You're far from safe from liking people you shouldn't like.
That doesn't even cover the multitude of feelings! Like doesn't cover it. You're pretty sure you love Ellie.
Maybe in another lifetime, you and Ellie could've met and went on a date. You could've loved her freely. In this universe, she is your childhood best friend.
You know it could ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you if you tell her, or if she finds out in some way, but fuck; when she looks at you, it's like you forget how to breathe. You just wanna breathe her in, you want to share the same air and feel her lips on yours.
Ellie is unlike anyone you've ever known. She's sweet for you. She's impulsive to others, and honestly sometimes an asshole. That only makes you fall more and more in love for her. You didn't know it was possible to be attracted to someone's flaws, but you want every piece of her, even the bits that others in Jackson label as "annoying."
Ellie has always been there for you since you were just 15 and she moved to Jackson right by Joel's side. You just seemed to click. She was brash, foul-mouthed, and told ironically funny dad jokes. You were the type of person who liked having adventures and never shut up. Ellie always listened. She held you while you cried, let you borrow her book of puns, and volunteered to do patrols with you just so she could have fun adventures with you.
You couldn't ruin a good thing. You don't know what you would even do without Ellie in your life. You didn't wanna freak her out or make things weird. You feel like such a coward, but even thinking about Ellie distancing herself from you because of your stupid crush on her? It just makes your stomach churn with dread.
Little did you know Ellie was equally obsessed with you.
You're like a fucking ball of sunshine to the girl, always there laughing at the stupid things she says, defending her when she gets in trouble for something minor, and your smile should be considered warfare for how easily it could kill her. She tries to keep her feelings to herself, but it is so hard to when you look at her with bright eyes and the sweetest smile like you're trying to give her a toothache.
It's a recipe for a bomb, and it only takes one game to set it off.
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You're sitting criss-cross on your bed and Ellie is in your floor. It's a Saturday, which means both of you get to have a sleepover. No patrol, and no major chores to be done around Jackson.
Ellie just got back from a multiple day lasting patrol and she missed you so much while she was gone, it's not even funny. Seattle is beautiful, but boring when there isn't a sunshine girl in awe about how the verdure clings to the buildings. But at least now she is here, back in your bedroom which she loves so much.
Ellie's room is vastly different from yours. Well, her garage is. Her bedsheets are grey and minimalistic, and her make-shift kitchen is lined with posters. Her favorite is the one with the punk green-haired man holding a guitar. Her closet, however, it quite impressive. Her shelves are lined with comics and space movies, and her hangers are lined with flannels, of course.
Your bedroom, in contrast, has white bedsheets and a cozy pink blanket. You have a few raggedy plushies from scavenging around and your shelves are filled with lighter-colored clothing. White curtains decorate your windows and frilly pillowcases (that end up in the floor most of the time) compliment your bed. You have a full-length mirror in the corner of your room and a shelf of DVDs you usually just bring over to Ellie's garage, since she has a much nicer tv than you do. Ellie glances up at you from the floor, squiggling her eyebrows.
"I'm so fucking bored!" You groan, making Ellie laugh in the process.
"And how is that my problem?"
You flip her off and she clutches her stomach.
"Seriously, Ellie. I wanna actually do something and not just eat grilled cheeses and read your nerdy comics."
She scoffs.
"Excuse me? It's not my fault you have bad taste in literature."
You snort at that. "Starlight Savage and Raven Mouse are not literature."
"Oh, then what are they, huh?" She stands up, amusingly offended.
"Comics!"
Ellie grabs one of your pillows and pretends to suffocate you with it. You're laughing and trying to pry it off of your face.
"Hey, quit! You're actually gonna kill me!" You giggle, your voice muffled from the cushioning.
Ellie finally relents, laughing along with you.
"Better think twice before disrespecting Starlight Savage." She is wearing her signature shit-eating grin.
"Oh, whatever.. Hey!- You got me off topic." You groaned.
Ellie laughs at that. "And what was the topic?"
"I am bored out of my fucking mind," you complain, your voice rising in pitch to sound whiny, which she pretends to absolutely hate.
Really, she just hates that it makes her stomach clench when she hears your cute complains, and the tone of your whines only makes it worse.
"Okay, okay, fine. We can do something fun." She feigns reluctance, setting down on the bed beside you.
"Great!! So, what should we do?"
"Seriously? You don't even know what you wanna do and you gave me whiplash bitching about being bored?"
You scoff, jumping to your own defense. "I was tryin' to get you to come up with something," and then you add to complete your argument, "I wouldn't be bored if I knew what we could do."
Ellie sighs, and you smile because you know that means she has had enough of your bullshit and she just wants to throw in the towel.
"Fine. Well, we can play a game perhaps?"
You groan in protest at the suggestion. "You're a dirty cheater when it comes to Monopoly!"
Ellie only lets out a sheepish laugh at that, because she knows that you're being 100% truthful. "That is what makes the game fun!" When she sees your glare, she sighs once more. "Fine. How 'bout Truth or Dare?"
That sounds intriguing; the game begins.
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You and Ellie sit across from each other, and the game has been going on for around 10 minutes now. It's getting quite boring - always questions like "What's a secret you haven't told me?" or Ellie dares you to do something she knows you won't do, like lick the toilet bowl.
Then, she asks a question that brings the game onto another level.
"What's your favorite sex position?"
You stare at her, your jaw practically in your lap. You don't wanna talk sex positions with the girl you secretly wanna do sex positions with.
"What the fuck, Ellie?!"
She looks a bit guilty, but shrugs with a smirk that doesn't go unnoticed.
"What? I wanted to spice things up. C'mon, don't be a pussy."
You think it over, but finally, with a heated face, you say fuck it and give into her bullshit. "Missionary."
Ellie bursts out laughing.
You're sitting there not knowing what to do! She is laughing like a hyena at this point, tears in the corners of her eyes. She slaps her knee. What the fuck?!
"What's so funny?!"
Ellie just laughs, falling over and she is snorting like a pig now before she finally settles down. "It's just.." she tries to stifle a giggle, "that is the most boring thing you could've possibly said.”
You know that, but you're keen on defending your word. Ellie loves that about you, how you're always quick to stand up for yourself. "It's romantic!"
"Okay, okay," she shrugs. "Enlighten me on how missionary is more romantic than any other position that actually feels good."
You don't hesitate to list off the facts. "First of all, it does feel good! You just haven't tried the pillow method. Second of all, you can kiss your partner and actually talk to them." You sigh, getting a bit flustered (and turned on) by the conversation at hand. "Imagine fucking someone and getting to kiss all over their face while doing so, or on their neck or their tits. It's about the intimacy."
Ellie looks just as flustered as you now. She is silent for a moment before giving you the benefit of the doubt. "Okay, I guess you can rest your case now. But there is much more intimate positions than missionary, you know. You're just thinking vanilla ones like riding the strap-on, or from behind."
You raise an eyebrow at that. "Okay, I'll bite. What's more intimate than looking into someone's eyes while they cum?"
Ellie laughs at your vulgar question, pink tinting her freckled cheeks. "Tribbing." Her voice is more quiet, and that only makes you more aware of the slight tension.
You quickly brush it off with a laugh.
"Of course your gay ass would say that."
She grins and sits up at that, quick to defend herself. "Hey, you have no room to be talking, little miss 'my gay awakening is Rose from Titanic.'"
Your jaw drops and you look at her like she has said something crazy. "Hey, Rose is hot!"
She giggles. "Yeah, Sherlock, thanks for pointing out the obvious."
You roll your eyes. "Okay, okay. Can we get back to the game?"
She nods, and it continues.
As time passes, the questions grow more and more...uncomfortable to answer. You're still asking her the more casual things, but Ellie is daring you to do stupid, impossible stuff, or to answer questions like "what was your first time like?", "do you have a friends with benefits situation with anyone in Jackson?", and "if you could kiss anyone in Jackson, who would it be?" (which you brushed off jokingly by saying old man Eugene. She didn't press any further, only mocking you).
Then, she leans forward after you choose truth, and she whispers something you can't really brush off.
"Who do you like?"
You're fucked. If she asked "do you like someone?", you could answer without revealing who it is. She knows she has you trapped. Sneaky cunt.
You don't answer right away. Ellie is so close, your knees touching. The air in the room is insanely hot, and you want to leave your own house, you want to hide under your blankets or cover your face, but you can't.
Ellie doesn't wait for you to answer.
"I know you like someone, I can tell when my best friend is in love. Who is it?"
"That's way too personal, I.."
She scoffs, but it's not a rude sound. Just shocked, maybe slightly hurt. "You have always told me your crushes. Why won't you tell me now?"
You feel guilty now because she doesn't understand. She doesn't get why you won't tell her. She can't understand that it's because you like her. You want to scream it: I'm in love with you, Ellie! But those words won't be the next you utter.
"I just...I feel like this time it should be private." You know that your reasoning is weak, for once in your life, the defense is slipping and it's ugly. You internally wince.
She just stares in silence, not really meeting your eyes. It makes you panic, and then, then the words slip from your mouth seeing the hurt on Ellie's pretty face.
"It's you."
She stares at you like she didn't quite hear what you said, even though it was shaky, nevertheless loud and coherent.
"What...?"
"I..I'm in love with you, Ellie." You repeat yourself.
She leans into you. "Fuck.." Her breath hitches. "You better not be fucking around with me, I swear to-"
"No!", you shout loudly and quickly try to compose yourself. "I mean..I'm not joking. I like you. I hope this doesn't fuck with our friendship, or like.." You trail off, not wanting to think about what could happen now.
"I'm in love with you, too." There, now Ellie has gotten it out too.
Ellie didn't even fully understand why she asked you that. She knew she could've gotten her feelings hurt, that you could've liked someone else or that it would definitely mean you did like her, and then she had to be vulnerable and confess it back. Still, she was so exhausted, so fucking tired of pretending like hugs and casual touches were enough. They were never enough.
"Can I kiss you?" She doesn't even give you the proper time to react to her shared confession before she springs that onto you. You don't complain, only nodding quickly.
Her breath is warm against yours, and you can tell how shaky it is. You've never seen her so nervous, it makes your own stomach flutter with butterflies. Then, Ellie's grasping onto your face and smashing her lips against yours. Her mouth is warm, and the kiss doesn't even start out gentle. It's all devouring, all need and passon.
You quickly move into her lap, thighs on either sides of hers, and both of you are desperately pulling each other closer, finally sharing the same air. She tastes like everything natural, something so unique it can't be described but you immediately know you need more of it. Her tongue moves inside of your mouth, devouring you just like how she has been dreaming of for who knows how long, and when you're forced to pull away for a breath, her lips are sloppily trailing down your jaw to your throat, her hands grasping your hips to pull you closer.
"I've wanted you for so long, you know that?" Her voice is warm against your sensitive skin, and you think you could just burst with how it feels to be practically intertwined with her.
"Show me how it feels, Els.." You gasp and tilt your head back for more, but Ellie pulls away to look at you.
"How what feels?' She doesn't sound rude, only confused with her lips swollen and wet.
"The intimacy..the intimacy you talked about.." Oh, that.
She nods quickly, and her mouth is all over your shoulders, leaving soft pecks between words, "We can do that, but I wanna do something first..is that okay?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
With that, she pulls your shirt over your head and stares at you like she has never seen a pair of boobs before. Her eyes are wide and she takes you in before her.
"You're so pretty," she mumbles with conviction, kneading your tits through your bra. You can only moan when she sticks a hand into your bra and rubs her palm over your nipples, her other hand deftly undoing the clasp of the fabric.
That was the hottest thing you could do for a woman, Williams..
Her lips quickly find a nipple, pulling it into her mouth to swirl her tongue around the bud. Your fingers tug at her hair, begging for more. You need her closer. She reluctantly pulls her mouth off off of its new favorite place and leans back up to face you, planting an affectionate kiss on your cheek before smiling sheepishly.
"I'm gonna say something I want to do to you, but you can't laugh.."
That makes you already giggle, despite the heat building between your thighs. That is something you love about Ellie, the way she can make you laugh even when you aren't supposed to be.
"I'll try my best. What is it?" You ask, and she fiddles with her fingers nervously.
"I wanna use my fingers on you," she says it so quietly, voice nervous but filled with hunger before she quickly adds, "if you want me to. It's okay if you don't wanna go any further-"
"I want you to finger me, Els."
That was easier than she thought it would be.
She nods now, slowly unbuttoning your jeans and watching with an intense gaze as you hop off of her lap to shimmy them off. Now you're in nothing but a cotton pair of panties and you look so gorgeous.
Ellie has always found you to be beautiful. During patrols and on lookout, your hair had a shine to it that most people wouldn't care to think too much about, but Ellie always noticed it. Ellie always noticed the way your lips parted when you were zoned out, or how you walked like you always knew where you were going even on the paths that were mainly uncharted. You were so lovely-looking.
Now, nearly naked for her, she doesn't know if she can bare to blink even for a second. She is currently having a never-ending starting contest with your body, and she has to stop herself from pouncing on you. She wants to love you, not just fuck you.
Ellie is on her knees between your legs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of your underwear. Her eyes flicker over your body before looking to yours for confirmation.
"You sure you want this?"
"Please, Ellie. I want you." You know you sound desperate for her, but it can't be helped. You were soaked through your underwear, clit beating with need, and Ellie is just eyeing you like she wanted to devour you. She probably would, but she wants to save your clit for later.
She nods and slips your underwear down your legs, pulling them off of your ankles and throwing them behind her. The action made you giggle, but Ellie quickly squashed your outburst.
"Somethin' funny?" She asks, slipping a finger through your slick folds. You gasp and jolt.
"Hey, where the fuck is the warning, you cunt?"
She has to stifle her own laugh at your outburst, but she is growing tired of the cute giggles; if you laughed one more time, she'd be fucking you until you were limping-
"Sorry, pretty. I'm gettin' impatient." Her tone mkes you involuntarily clench. You rarely hear that tone, the serious one when she is either around someone she doesn't know and is keeping it professional or just not in the mood to joke. Now, you discover it's her horny tone, too.
You nod, tilting your head back to rest it on your frilly pillow. Finally, she slips two digits past your lips and you resist the urge to let a whorish whine slip past your lips. When she easily slides into your heat, you then can't resist.
Ellie's eyes are glued to your pussy like it's magic, watching your hips try to rise for more, feeling the way your walls tighten around her intrusion.
It's too much for her poor, fucked head to bare.
She is already as wrecked as you are. She wants to taunt you for the way you already look like you're going to cum from her barely brushing at your spongey g-spot, but she can't. She is probably in rougher shape right now.
"You feel so warm." It's all she can manage to get out, and she curls her fingers inside of you into upward, making you moan.
"I wanna cum, Els..please, more. Give me more." Ellie has never seen you this dumb for pleasure before, but who is she to deny you?
Her fingers aren't thrusting in and out or finger-banging you, just slowly sliding through your cunt, her fingertips stroking where you need them to. You feel so full, so complete. You hope she does this every single day from here on out.
It doesn't take long to get you into a state of complete bliss, and you haven't even climaxed yet. Your legs aren't clamping down, rather spreading wider as if you're begging for her to take you in the most obscene ways possible, fill you up with more than just her fingers. If only she you two were currently at her house, she has that unopened strap-on box... maybe for another day.
The knot that builds in your stomach, the temperature of it overheating your insides is about to snap. You're begging as if Ellie is teasing you or something. You're whining, and you look like you're about to start sobbing if she pauses her pace even for a nanosecond. She just wants to gives you everything, thinks you deserve the whole world, so she leans forward and intertwines her fingers with yours as her other fingers pump deep inside you, and you swear it's rearranging your guts. You wanna be wrecked so damn badly.
"You keep fluttering around me, gonna cum?" She asks, and you whine and nod.
Your orgasm soon hits you like a tsunami, once in a crash and then it simmers throughout you in waves. This is probably the hardest you have ever came. You gasp onto her hand tight, squeezing her fingers. You can't even speak or you'd be howling her name. It feels so euphoric and you wonder how it can get any better than this.
When you come down from the peak, she eases her fingers out of your tender insides and licks her ring finger clean. Then, she settles her hips between your legs, bringing her soaking middle finger to your lips.
"Open up."
You do so without question, tasting yourself on her digit before she swiftly pulls her finger away with a "pop!"
"I taste weird," you mumble and she rolls her eyes, mumbling a little "fuck you" before sitting up to strip out of her flannel.
You feel maybe a little nervous before. Something about the thought of feeling her in such an intimate way makes you feel even more fluttery inside. You've been with women before, you are far from a virgin, but you've never clashed clits before (omfg what). Most girls thought it was just a porn thing.
"You okay?" Ellie pauses, her flannel on the bed and a black t-shirt layer underneath it.
"Yeah," you mean it, "just a little nervous."
Her eyes soften, and she takes your hand and squeezes it. "I promise I'll be slow with you. I'm not gonna rush you into this, and if you want, we can always stop."
You feel more assured now, and you smile. "Okay."
When she finally strips out of her clothing, you take her in. She is breath-takingly beautiful. Her body is pale but covered in tan freckles, and her nipples are perky with arousal. Her shoulders and collarbone look so fucking kissable. You're still in a daze as she hooks a leg over yours, her warm cunt only an inch or two away from yours. She hovers.
"You ready?"
"I want you, so yes."
That makes her smile, and she slowly eases down onto you, her folds rubbing up against yours and both of your neglected clits finally getting the attention they deserve. Both of you are already moaning and Ellie leans down onto you, her tits brushing against yours as she kisses you deeply.
This kiss is slower than the first, less desperate but just as emotional. It's hungry and consumes you in a sensual way. Her hips grind against yours, her slick mixing with your soaked pussy to make you only whine into her mouth.
Now you understand how intimate this is. You feel so connected to Ellie in a way you hope you never get to feel with anyone else. You wanna always be this close. You think that even after this ends, you'll feel that tie to her body and heart, always leading you back to her.
When you both cum together, it's much different than what she gave you before. You can feel her tense up with you, hear her shaky breaths and moans, and you feel a warmth inside of you reminding you that she feels this way because of your pussy, because of her feelings for you. It's making you obsessive to feel this way.
When the high fades, she collapses on top you. You're both breathing heavily for a few minutes. Her breath is against your neck and it feels like a kiss. Your brain is thinking of something stupid now that the horniness is over.
"Isn't it obvious that I'm your girlfriend now?"
Ellie laughs and squeezes you tightly.
"Yeah. You're my girlfriend now, and I'm not letting you go."
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#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie smut#the last of us part 2#cheyisagirlkissermailbox#requests
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if i see one more post about how solas/mythal/elgar'nan had a weird love triangle thing going on i'm gonna scream
#probably gonna annoy some people by saying this#but i think it is really telling that taash's response 'they were doin' it'#is positioned in a way that strongly implies it's the immature response to take#not to say i'm 100% right bc they left it deliberately vague for a reason#you're meant to make up your own mind#and i personally do not see this as a stupid love triangle bc a. i fucking hate love triangle plots they're overdone and boring#and b. it's stated multiple times that the ancient elves felt things in different ways that can't be fully understood by mortals#so deducing that it was a romantic bond is an oversimplification of something that's actually very abstract#falon'din and dirthamen were called both twins and lovers by legends but it turned out to be neither of those things#they were just one spirit split into two#the only two that i think were actually romantically involved were ghil and andruil bc it's stated that they fell in love in the abyss#and there are statues of them naked holding hands apparently#we didn't get enough info about sylaise and june to really say much about their relationship#the actual regret memory of solas and mythal meeting in secret#is the memory that the inquisitor gives to rook#and it appeared after the ritual was interrupted and solas killed varric#when varric told him to stop#when varric expressed his love for his friend and died for it#the parallel is not of lovers but of solas taking mythal's place and varric taking his#ugh i'm just so uncomfortable with the solas/mythal romance stuff#like it actually nauseates me#not out of jealousy but bc his whole story is him dealing with the horrific trauma bond he formed with her#and those are so often borne from family bonds#like mythal is just one big mother wound to solas#i honestly think if they were lovers they would just state it as such#but people have a hard time imagining devotion as being anything other than romantic ig#sad bc platonic relationships can sometimes be more intense than romantic ones
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I love how you talk about miles. <33 I just wanna ask if you have any spare thoughts on what a miles and eddie interaction would be like? I just keep thinking about how sassy he was with trager and the "trager juice" note. So it makes me wonder what notes he'd write about some psycho trying to "wife" him up and cut his junk.
Oohh that’s a interesting question, lovely anon!
How Miles would interact with Eddie?
At first, he would be scared as shit. Of course.
Let's just say his sense of humor would take over as a way to get past his fear more than any of his other unpleasant encounters. Seeing all those mutilated corpses and wedding dresses he might think "this guy hasn't seen pussy in so long that he decided to create it" or something like that, Miles style.
He would be pleasantly surprised to see Eddie in a homemade wedding suit, especially after seeing Trager walking around with bare ass exposed.
Eddie, of course, is intent on making him his bride, he would call him “darling” and other feminine epithets. Miles would be annoyed and would yell back “I AM A MAN WHERE DO YOU SEE BOOBS?” or “Don’t try to pick me up you fucking bastard”.
After being caught, I think he would try to reason with him (not that it would do much good but Miles is a first-rate stubborn guy). He could say "come on, we have a lot in common, we want to be reasonable potential fathers" or "I can understand your bitchless behavior but I don't have to pay for it." But that would piss Eddie off even more, who in his delirium would fill him with misogynistic slurs. Miles at this point would stop being diplomatic and lose his mind yelling "you want a woman? PAY FOR HER"
If Eddie hadn't already stuck a knife in his chest (+ filling him with tear-jerking speeches like "to be a family we have to love each other" followed by a "STUPID BITCH") Miles would proceed to write in his notebook "FUCK this woman maker who seems to have come out of an Elvis Presley video clip lost in the deep web and seen by only three people who the next day found a dead body in their garden tried to cut off my dick! Even Freud would start taking drugs if he had anything to do with him. He thinks I'm his ideal wife, if he tries to do anything to me again I'll be the one to cut off his dick and make him swallow it" (bro is slightly pissed off)
When Eddie (finally) dies Miles looks at him with an evil smile on his mouth and comments: ���May you find pussy in hell”
#THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO WRITE#outlast#miles upshur#waylon park#outlast whistleblower#outlast game#red barrels#outlast meme#eddie gluskin#outlast eddie#outlast miles upshur#headcanons outlast#outlast headcanons#what if
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Buck and Eddie roadtrip in Texas 👀
Ok so I actually started writing this one MONTHS ago and then abandoned it, but now (after 8x08) I feel like I could pick it back up again with better added context.
Basically they go on a road trip (like maybe they fly to Austin for an event or something and decide to hire a car and drive back through El Paso to get Chris or something). Buck isn't sleeping bc insomnia is a bitch and Eddie researches the shit out of different techniques he can use to help Buck.
Here's a snippet:
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“Have you tried jacking off right before you go to sleep?” Eddie asks as Buck leaves the bathroom and Buck walks right into the arm chair.
“The fuck, Eddie,” he groans, bending over to rub his poor dead pinky toe.
“Sorry, just checking. It’s an obvious one though, so...” Eddie trails off and looks at Buck pointedly. Buck wants to die.
“Yes, Eddie, I’ve tried that. Didn’t help. Next tip, please.”
“Counting sheep,” Eddie suggests. He’s sitting cross-legged on the bed in just sweatpants and Buck still wants to die.
“Oh yeah that’s super fun until my brain can’t stop counting and suddenly it’s 4am and I’ve visualised seven fucking thousand sheep jump over a rickety wooden fence,” Buck snorts. He slumps into the armchair and rubs his eyes aggressively, listening to Eddie’s breathing. The room is (creepily) silent and Buck’s skin is prickling.
“Visualise moving all the furniture in your room,” Eddie reads off his phone.
“Great until hyper-fixation kicks in and I get up and actually start moving furniture. Remember three weeks ago when you came over for breakfast and I was passed out on my bed against the opposite wall?” Buck reminds Eddie pointedly. “I need new mental games.”
“Hmm. Well according to this person on Reddit you shouldn’t think of them as mental games because it’s not meant to be fun,” Eddie snorts.
“Yeah fuck that person. Going to sleep should be fun and if it helps me to think of mental exercises as games then that’s what I’ll do, random Reddit asshole,” Buck huffs. He’s way more annoyed than he should be about this but Eddie doesn’t say anything, just hums in agreement. Buck appreciates Eddie rolling with his spiralling and not telling him to ‘just sit the fuck down and relax’ like Tommy used to. Buck wants to die a little less now, but not by much.
“Have you tried counting backwards?” Eddie asks, tilting his head to the left a little. The gel he’d put in his hair in the morning has lost its hold and his hair flops to the side, falling over his forehead.
“Ah see that one I’ve actually had a little success with.” Buck stands up from the armchair – his pinky toe has miraculously not fallen off and he can, in fact, walk. He sits down opposite Eddie, close enough that their knees are almost touching (because it’s only a double bed, not because Buck just wants an excuse to be close to Eddie, nope).
“But not so much recently?”
“I count backwards by threes starting at nine hundred and ninety-nine,” Buck starts, and absolutely does not shift slightly so that his and Eddie’s knees are actually touching.
“Oddly specific, do explain,” Eddie muses. He still looks sleepy, despite his four-hour nap in the car. Buck wants to hold his stupid hand.
“Doing it that way hits every triple digit – eight eighty-eight, seven seventy-seven, blah blah blah,” Buck trails off, waving his hand dismissively. “Which is satisfying but is also a pattern that my brain latches on to and after a few nights it’s not engaging enough to keep my attention and I start tuning out the counting and get distracted by other things.”
“That - I mean I can’t relate, I don’t know what that’s like but it sounds really fucking frustrating. I’m sorry,” Eddie murmurs warmly, placing a calloused hand on Buck’s knee and yep, Buck is going to die tonight.
--
I've written 5.3k words of this one lol. I've just got so many WIPs/fics I want to start!
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Jeckole Yapping
Had to dig through my old posts to find the template, but I'm bored and doing this again but for Jecka and Nicole this time. Mostly headcanons and such below
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• When or if I started shipping it:
I'm going to be honest, but I don't remember. I only got into Co09 a few months ago. All I know is that once I watched the out of context videos on Class of '09 and Re-Up, I wanted more content of them and came across a lot of really good fanart and fanfic.
I think there were a lot of boxes checked off when I slowly went down the rabbit hole lol. There's an emotionally constipated dark-girl paired with a preppy blonde girl who acts as the former's foil. I think what really drew me into them, fanart aside, were the foils and parallels between them. The codependency, expanded upon by Progman, was probably the final nail that dragged me down the brainrot.
• My thoughts:
I've known about them for awhile, and thought they were some random white girls in a cult classic VN that somehow regained a surge of popularity last year. I didn't know the VN was relatively new, and most of the time when I do ship Jeckole, it's without the creator in mind. They have a certain flavor to them that hits in a way where I can't stop brainrotting over them.
Someone mentioned this in a fic comment, but they see them as foils when it comes to dealing with people and the world around them--where Nicole acts as this snarling animal that will bite you if you get too close, while Jecka acts as this wall that doesn't allow things to get to her even if it does bother her. In a way, they envy each other for that, and after reading that fic it reinforced why their dynamic is one that I gravitate towards compared to the others. They have pieces of each other that they're missing and they can't live without the other (I love codependent Jeckole).
• What makes me sad about them:
In-game, they probably wouldn't last after high school when they go their separate ways. As much as Nicole sees Jecka as a slightly more "special" person to her than most people at the school, their friendship is more for convenience--with Nicole finding Jecka to be more tolerable and cool compared to everyone else (along with the added bonus of not being a loner), and Jecka finding Nicole more fun to hang around with than all her other school friends despite knowing how much Nicole is a fucked up mess and bad influence. In-game Nicole is also someone who would continue to keep everyone at an arm's length and also wouldn't fight too hard (outside of the Jecka and counselor smoking scene) to maintain any meaningful relationships once they're out of her reach.
But also, who cares what the creator thinks because fanart and fanfic exists lmaoooooo.
• What makes me happy about them:
There's a scene in Flip Side where Nicole calls Jecka first thing in the morning at 7am asking her where McDonald's keeps their frozen patties, only for Jecka to say they don't have them because McD serves breakfast during those hours. Then Jecka calls Nicole stupid, and I just found that scene funny in an oddly comforting way.
Nicole is comfortable enough to bug Jecka and wake her up so early in the morning for something so mundane, while Jecka just stays on the phone listening to whatever antics she's in instead of hanging up immediately and going back to bed. I also mentioned this in another post, but someone on Twitter said the thing they love most about Jeckole is how Nicole was willing to get to know Jecka even after saying she has no desire to make any connections at her new school. It can be interpreted as a convenience thing on Nicole's end, but every route in the original game has her willing to either ask for Jecka's name or share her name when they first meet.
To me, their back and forth dynamic keeps them balanced enough to stay fucked up with the potential of becoming well-adjusted in the future.
• Things done in art/fic that annoys me:
There's a number of interpretations when it comes to the Co09 characters, so I understand it can be hard to write them. But for me personally, I'm not a fan of when Nicole is depicted as either way too nice and uncharacteristically soft or way too mean and following the stereotypical SBN interpretation that "Nicole doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything".
• Things I look for in art/fic:
When they're codependent :) or when they're codependent with a slight chance of them getting healthier over time. Also, just them being stupid together.
I'm also one of the few people (I haven't come across too many others yet) that seek out future Jeckole stuff. Whenever I picture them as adults, it's always aurawra21's art in mind.
• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
I'm a monoshipper when it comes to Class of '09, so probably no one. It adds to that codependent flavor :) but if you want a real answer...
For Nicole, probably Emily.
For Jecka, probably Emily also.
• My happily ever after for them:
Moving out of their town, healing from their trauma, and getting healthier over time. Maybe they won't be better people exactly, but they'd at least be less fucked up and a little happier (with Nicole finding some will to keep living past 30) after cutting off their toxic families.
• What is their favorite activity?:
Nicole forcing Jecka to watch Mythbusters and How It's Made with her (in exchange for watching Smallville and Charmed with Jecka). Also, probably smoking together, assuming that Jecka hasn't quit her smoking habit ten years later.
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the way kaladin is like. the only character who gets an arc relating to overcoming his prejudices but it’s…him overcoming his “prejudices” against lighteyes…like huh……?
#every time I remember this i feel like I’m reading the books wrong#and I just missed something crucial#alas I do think this is correct! and it boggles my lil mind!!! like HUH????????#stormlight archive#ellie reads#shallan is RIGHT THERE#shallan would be like. I can’t be bigoted I’m friends with kaladin 🙂#😒😒😒😒😒😒😒#I just…..tired. it’s tired!!!!#don’t even get me started on the ‘fuck moash’ stuff….#moash defender til I die also it’s stupid to hate a character bc they’re too morally grey for you….like it’s fiction.#sorry moash made the story INTERESTING !!!#stay mad kaladin wouldn’t be interesting w/out him!!!#im kidding I love kaladin but you get it.#the subreddit hates moash way too much it’s so annoying#like it’s fiction………#they also think Brandon Sanderson is above critique which is also annoying#anyways. love these books bc they’re well written the world building goes crazy and! they’re interesting from this angle and I enjoy#thinking critically about them.
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Absolute hate how all Oda has to do is make one (1) fictional man with pretty hair to give me raging gender envy
Like this was so unnecessary and cruel, towards me specifically
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Think I'm just annoyed because One Piece doesn't really have very Gender characters **for me** specifically#'Cause most of the characters are either built like shit brick houses or have horrendous fashion senses#Which also applies to King. He is a Fucking Unit and his gimp suit looks horrendous#But you take off his stupid mask and let his pretty hair out and oh no he looks like he looks like a metalhead oh no that's kinda gender#(Like at most there was Sanji Sometimes because he's sufficiently twinkish and I like some of his suits.)#(And look I love him and his stupid self-loathing self-sacrificing ass but also I need to smack the shit out of Sanji and throw him in jail#(Do not let me get started on Hawkins very specifically in his fight against Killer because jesus christ)#(Toei did not have to go that hard on making Hawkins' hair look THAT FUCKING GOOD in that fight) (Dying of jealousy)#(I just want to have pretty long hair (but in a masc way) is that too much for me to ask)#((Feeling down and desperately need some serotonin so I picked up Wano again. Been a while 'cause I was so frustrated with the pacing))
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i wish ppl would just shut up when ppl say they're afraid of something i don't care if you think it's stupid or unnecessary or the thing they're afraid of is already widely disliked by many people you don't understand where ppls trauma is coming from and even if there isn't any trauma causing the fear just shut up and move on
#people do this to me about spiders theyre always like omg it wont do anything to you but thats the fucking thing#that annoys me so much i know it wont do anything to me i know they are important to the environment but im still fucking scared#of spiders they just look scary and i literally freeze up and cry when i see a huge one like i genuinely get scared#i dont care that its smaller than me i dont care that you think theyre cute i dont care that youre tired of ppl hating#spiders. im scared of them because i am you dont neee to give me biology 101 to try and get me to not be scared leave me alone#i feel the same way abt ppl who laugh at ppl for being scared of dogs#'oh? ur scared of the 4 yr old dog is barking at you?' like so what if this is the case? shut up!!!! it doesn't matter that u think its#stupid alot of these fears that ppl think are stupid aren't a open door for u to ne patronising just shut the fuck up#there is a girl i know who has a phobia of crisps/chips and ppl think its stupid and inconvenient#like. who cares if u think its stupid there is a real trauma behind her fear and even if there wasnt literally. calm down and go somewhere#else and eat the crisps like omfg
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being a system can be really fucking hard and it comes with a lot of challenges and struggles but man?? I fucking love my headmates. I don't know what I'd do without them and my life is better because they are in it.
#like. OSDD and DID are survival mechanisms yeah?#now that I'm living and not surviving its less of a survival mechanism and more of an. annoying friends and flatmates mechanism#obviously there are arguments and tensions. we're two dozen people sharing a vessel there is no way there wouldn't be#but MAN I would miss othello nights with sunny so much#and I would miss phoebe's stupid fantastic jokes#moon's level headedness and care#jasper's common sense....#francis's giggles and our shared interests and likes#the fact that they know exactly what I'm thinking so miscommunication is super rare#the fact that I know they won't judge me for anything because they all know everything about me anyway#fucking sucks that I had to be bullied for 5 years straight in order to obtain some of my best friends but like . ?#its better than being bullied for 5 years straight and Not having a coping mechanism this strong to help me through it#being a system isn't a consequence for trauma to me. its a consolation and a helping hand (or twenty-something helping hands JKFDSHDJSAKHSD#system#osdd#DID#plural#plurality#system positivity#NON-SYSTEMS PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT EVERY SYSTEMS EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!#many systems are still not in a good place and being a system can be very hard for them#I'm very lucky to be where I am now#just. keep your system friends in mind. look out for them. lift them up. thank you
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I’m not deep enough in the yttd fandom to really know if this is a controversial take to have but. I think soushin is interesting. I don’t think this in a “omg wow they’re soooo in love and I want them to be together” way, not at all lol. But I think to act like it’s impossible to see a romantic/sexual aspect of their relationship is really fucking stupid. I try to refrain from acting like there’s a solid truth to their relationship cuz the game isn’t finished yet so there’s always the likelihood that we’ll get more information later, but the thing that always gets me is when ai shin mentions that hiyori claimed to be an older student at his school but he later learned that wasn’t true. It sounds so eerily like a grooming story and the way we see human shin retreating into himself In reaction to that hits really hard, like he’s embarrassed it ever happened
Then there’s stuff like the detail that hiyori would always take pictures of shin without consent and would hang them up, or the fact that hiyori kept a personal shin ai for himself that he had control over, or the way that maple is supposed to parallel shin. It all just sounds like they had a relationship that blurred the lines a lot in a way that was very uncomfortable for shin. Moments like the shin ai sobbing and Hiyori saying “no don’t be like that show me your cool side shin!” and shin reacting to that, it’s like hiyori is trying to praise shin while hurting him. Seems way too much like a common occurrence
I think also (but maybe im just projecting) that shin is pretty queer coded in a lot of ways (hot springs scene, soft-natured personality that he tries to smother, his relationship with hiyori paralleling a romantic one, etc) and I think this plays into his relationship with hiyori a lot. Because of gender roles and toxic masculinity bullshit, i really doubt shins soft personality was allowed to fly under the radar for most people, so he was isolated a lot. Hiyori probably made him feel special at first with the way he seemed to like this about shin, but it becomes pretty clear that hiyori loves to fawn over shin and treat him like a cute baby and really only loves shins personality cuz he sees it as easy to take advantage of. I think it’s really easy to imagine a scenario where shin is a closeted teenager who finally has someone he feels he can confide in and hiyori blurs the lines between romantic and platonic a lot and shin latches onto this because he wants to feel like he can be loved by another boy and thinks this is his only shot. It’s way too common and all the pieces just fit right into place, you know? And I’m aware of the line where shin says hiyori is like an older brother to him but imo I think these two things can actually perfectly coexist cuz again, theres blurring of lines going on cuz this is an abusive relationship and feelings are being toyed with constantly
Basically all this to say, I very much think it’s likely that there was a romantic and sexual aspect to this relationship going on. I wouldn’t say they were labeling themselves as boyfriends or anything, more like it was a vague mess that hiyori refused to elaborate on. I don’t ship these two cuz I think it’s pretty clear shin wants out of this relationship, but I think inherently being mad someone wants to explore the idea of them having this kinda relationship is really ignorant and is only gonna result in only shallow ass takes about abusive relationships being allowed
#yttd#shin tsukimi#sou hiyori#i feel like ive made myself way too clear here lol i just want to speak my truth 😩#maybe no one cares but just from what ive seen ppl have been like IF YOU MAKE ANYTHING RESEMBLING ROMANCE FOR THESE TWO YOURE EVILLLL#like its annoying when ppl make completely ooc shit trying to make this pairing cute cuz idk they want boys to kiss#but to act like no one can pick up on something more to their relationship like this is fucking stupid#im not saying their relationship couldnt be strictly platonic and still abusive cuz thats not true at all#im just saying hey. lets ease up a bit and allow some damn nuance#side note i hate when ppl write hiyori as comically evil in the relationship like yeah hes creepy as fuck but like#these two were close enough to be practically living together and shin kept his scarf and everything#and this is the game arguing everyone is capable of good so like. i think hiyori had normal moments too lol#ldk it just irks me when ppl write abuse as like some black and white perfect victim/evil abuser shit cuz thats unrealistic and boring#and we dont know everything that went down between these two but sometimes shin is getting brutalized a lil too much in these fics#maybe im wrong maybe he was getting strapped to the electric chair every night lol
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btw every time someone suggests a solution to a community problem is to 'read Whipping Girl' you should actually read something by bell hooks instead, or, failing that, any decent social theory by an actual sociologist or academic in another social science.
#this will fix everything#the worst offender is 'wow I'm really annoyed by this trend I haven't realized stems partially from Whipping Girl.'#'we should all read Whipping Girl about it.'#< fastest way to show me you're either a liar who hasn't read it or an idiot with no reading comprehension#ac speaks#like. there is so much gender theory out there that isn't one mid book from 2007#why has everyone chosen it as their fucking gospel#if you think masculinity and feminity aren't innate or inherent serano disagrees with you.#if you think transmisogyny doesn't mean 'the worst version of transphobia' serano disagrees with you.#(not that people can't use the term in ways that Make Sense or Advance Good Ideas but this book is stupider than most of you realize.)#transgender
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I feel like I'm v academically smart but oh my god I am fucking hopelesssss at anything people related
#i feel so stupiddddd#like theres this cloud around my brain i cant c past it#i dont kno if im js easily confused or if im so scared 2 ask 4 elaboration/clarification i feel i need 2 js brute force my way thru things#that i havent fully understood#coz if i ask2 many times it js pisses ppl off#an then i dont get help. an they get annoyed an think im stupid. so we get nowhere#ughhhh#im js so terrified of annoying ppl i js dont do anythin#like @ all!!!!#iv become so fucking boring u wouldvt believe#all my friends manage 2 talk 2 new ppl so easily and can actually carry a conversation#every joke i make falls soooo flat#an every hi gets ignored#i dont talk abt myself enuf or i do it 2 much#or i have no fucking opinion#an dunno how 2 add 2 thr other persons#girl im hopeless#where did my socail skillz go.....#ive always had the fear im annoying sum1 but l8ly its gotten so much worse#i think coz of. the altercation w that 1 irl#UGHHHH#im always operating under thr assumptions he doesnt like me whenever im w him#an idk what 2 say anymore#is there a way 2 get better a socialising w/o annoying ppl or embarrassing urself#idk i think mayb if im more confident itll help#but. how the hell am i doing that chat#mannnnn#i dunno#ive got more 2 say but im gonna reach tag limit😭😭😭😭 goodby#rivers rambles <3
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hi what is wrong with me
#I don’t even know what exactly I am Processing#but boy am I processing something#like was I really That Affected by stupid internet artist drama#to this day#like#what unhealed part of me#like I ugh#I think this is maybe just another tism experience#ever since fuckin Girl Scouts and elementary school#I’ve always been Too Cool to care about being in the in group like that’s so fucking shallow and stupid#but then also I suck at feeling like I belong in literally almost any space#so ummmmmmmmmmmmm#I guess maybe sometimes I get stuck in that wanting to belong and fit in feeling#but I don’t want to do it in the stupid shallow way#I want to find a place where I belong because I’m me#and I think I get triggered and stupid and annoyed when I see fake ass shallow toxic ass hoes living it up being in The Clique or whatever#like why them and not me#what the fuck tumblr tag venting really does make you think so introspectively#like idc abt being in groups where everyone’s just fucking stupid and mean#but when there are people who are cool and nice and chill in them#I get so much FOMO#like they hang around them bc they are cool and chill and nice but they’re not cool and chill and nice themselves#and I get annoYYYEEDDD#I’m not even feeling entitled to getting attention from cool and chill and nice people it’s just that like#sometimes it feels so slippery and wobbly trying to even coordinate hanging out with people you want to regularly#what am I even talking about though really#I think I really am just annoyed and triggered by deep seated pay attention to me and make me feel valued issues#maybe it is an entitlement issue in a way lmao#like I don’t expect attention from everyone ever but also I deserve attention I never got from my parents and does anyone ever tell you how#to like deal with that once you’re an adult like what the actual fuck
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i h8 nightwing ((2016)) sm that i would reread it all over again just 2 make a list & point out all the things i dont enjoy in it
#i recently remembered issue 100 & it made me head in hands in the not fun way#listen i like dick#i like a decent....i think? amount of the run#its just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not....i just dont like it vry super duper much#its like#like yk how theres that thing where ppl go smth smth “comic fans always look 2 muhc in2 a thing”? yeah that#thats me w/this stupid run i dont like it vry muhc#it annoys me thats prolyl the best way 2 describe it#IS THE 90S RUN BETTER? uhhhh idk thats also pretty awful especially after dg started writing 4 it#all the plots got weird & 4getful & didnt make sense#like somethings just happen & never get explained & its hella annoying#but ughhhhhh idk i think im more fine w/it rn bc its darker & im an edgy piece of shit#but theres smth about dicks characterization in 2016 that makes me confused & the watered down points-#am i just speaking out of my ass?#PERHAPS#but im thinking about shit in 2016 & just banging my head on the desk#srry im just yapping but also this is my blog fuck u?????????'#srryyyyhJ<#im actually just so tired of not complaining like im keeping it in it feels bad 4 some reason#i wanna share my opinion 4 some reason EWWWWWWWWWW
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ok im a really chill and normal person and i get over things and am well adjusted but take a walk with me here. just give me my time to complain when im not in the absolute fucking trenches. and yes i believe i suffered more than those in trench warfare. it was literally a lesbian situationship with a bistraight girl come on. just. magenta choppy shag with the roots coming in. camo cargo pants black t shirt with red lettering and striped long sleeve (sign someone likes music. confirmed). lip ring big black stud earrings and nails. red docs. i think lesbians should be allowed to kill one dyke baiter in their lifetime idc
#and now we're gonna get into some quiet parts and youre just gonna let me have this#i. am so sick. first of all it was kinda funny how people ik ended up sorta surrounding her. felt good. but like we've shared a space#together since everything. i can like be in her presence it's seriously fine. that said. i do sometimes miss her#i say this after going through the really hating her guts period bc of her evil evil evil ways. and feeling like she's lame as hell bc she#s. but i mean it's me talking i have my problems too. i Hate the way we always so naturally act in sync. and i hate that we've both picked#each others' brains for hours so it's like. i knew you once and now we can't even look each other in the eye and that just really sucks#and i feel like. not that i strictly believe in these things. but we were sort of twin flames. i largely suffered for like. basically#falling in love w her. and i know i didn't leave as much of a mark. but i still hope it sucked a little for her#and i'll admit i think it'd be some sort of miracle if we could ever talk civilly. unfortunately we work in two ways#literally behaving in Ways and borderline fucking or not speaking. so. here we are#and i already humiliatingly tried to extend an olive branch this summer so im not gonna be fucking stupid. yk#but GOD how annoying. i did talk to situationship today and we were relatively normal so at least that's not deathly awkward#it's still. definitely um. stiff. but not terrible#i need to get to the club. pretend theres a cig emoji im on desktop rn#sorry for this.#film girl saga
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