#this is such a interesting combo put together i promise i consume all of these seperatly haha

[cupids-stimboards]

day 13 prompt: food/drinks you like answer: boba tea, matcha tea, ramen, garlic bread and chocolate

🍜 🧋 🍞 / 🍵 🍫 🍵 / 🍞 🧋 🍜

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - first (m)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, highschool AU (first chapter only), university AU, fluff, ANGST

Words: 9.4K

WARNINGS: mature content, unprotected sex, cheating (not bbh), terrible family relations

Quick A/N: Finally, the anticipated full story for this drabble is coming! This will have more chapters! I am a bit self-conscious about this one. But I think it is a good challenge to grow as a writer. Hopefully it worked. Please let me know what you thought? ^^

Plot: You were willing to put the both of you through suffering without realizing you might hurt Baekhyun's feelings in the process. Even though he was yours, you were never his. And he would not stand in the way anymore.

tags: @byunfirstlady​ (hope you dont mind the tag; you were interest and since its been ages I tagged you to let you know 🥺 if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (final)

-

Mess We Made, part 1

“Psst,” you heard from your right side as you walked through the corridors of your high school. Before you even managed to look in the direction of where the sound came from, a hand grabbed you, swiftly bringing you into the darkness of the corner, the cold wall pressing into your back. Baekhyun came into view with his breath-taking smile as his lips hovered over yours, stretched out in a mischievous smile. “It's me.”

Instantly, you grinned, mimicking his wide smile. “I was looking for you.”

“Well, I found you first,” he whispered, and leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle manner.

He had been your boyfriend since the second half of the first year in high school. You were now both seniors, ready to graduate and enter your chosen universities. You both chose the same one, the idea of not being able to see each other too ugly to risk going to different schools.

You felt Baekhyun's hands slide down your sides, reaching the hem of your short uniform skirt and his feather-like touch made you squirm and laugh right into his mouth. He followed suit with giggles. “It tickles,” you said, and looked into his smiley eyes.

He hummed, though didn't stop his wandering hand as he massaged the upper part of your thigh, the touch sending trembles down your legs, your heartbeat growing frantic. “But you like it. When I touch you there.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, growing red. “Yeah. But only when it's you.”

These final months in high school were those moments when boys were becoming very horny, the skirts of the uniforms girls had to wear driving some of them crazy. Baekhyun, thankfully, wasn't as affected, though you were thinking if it was because he already had access to you. You would tear his head off if he tried to touch another girl, but he just wasn't that type of a guy.

Same went for you, too. Baekhyun had a sharp gaze and if he saw a guy trying to lift your skirt up, he would just deal with them in his hapkido language, and nobody wanted that. Baekhyun was a literal martial arts superstar of the school. And also a terrible nerd. He was cool and nerdy. What a combo.

While that was him, the smiling, mischievous boy many girls grew a humongous crush on, you were the more unfortunate one, though many would immediately disagree. A daughter to a huge business company, money was something that was never an issue, to put it lightly. Having your own personal driver, needing to attend pilates classes to keep your form, visiting a dermatologist at least twice per month, eating small portions… everything that would scream rich, was basically you, as much as you hated it.

The reason for your hatred was simple: you didn't belong to Baekhyun's world. Likewise, he didn't belong to yours. But how would that define anything, when both of you were literally all over each other at any given opportunity, feelings too strong to fight them? Did social status really mean something? Baekhyun was studying hard to become a doctor, wanting to bring children to this world, and he had one of the best grade averages in the entire institution. Meanwhile, you, of whom it was highly expected of, didn't have it like him. Studying was not exactly your forte, and you ended up following your parents requirements of applying for business school, so that you would study something that was running in the family. As long as they did not intervene in your relationship with Baekhyun, you would accept and agree to anything. But Baekhyun was untouchable. No matter what would happen, it couldn't, by any means, include him and you always made sure about it.

“'Cause you are mine,” he murmured in your ear seductively, and you melted in his arms.

“That, I am. Always,” you replied breathily, standing on your tiptoes to crash your lips on his before anyone could catch you not spending the break outside of the building.

You just wanted to spend time with him before your family would whisk you away from him, like they always did. Rarely have you had the power to decide your free time, sitting at your father's meetings, mothers cocktails, boredly listening to conversations about money transactions that made you feel uneasy.

“Plans for tonight?” he asked as he gave your thigh a final squeeze before letting go, patting your skirt back down to its normal form.

You hummed, leaning back on the wall lazily, your chest pushed out. “Grandparents are coming over. From mother’s side,” you said, already tired at the idea of the dreadful encounter.

Baekhyun nodded, though you could sense he was a bit disappointed. He never said anything, though. It was safe to say he was used to the way things were working with your family. After all, it had been two years by now. Two years of your relationship. And with each passing moment, the both of you seemed to grow even fonder of each other. He never complained. He loved you.

“Sorry,” you sighed again, closing your eyes for a moment when you felt his palm on your cheek that forced you to open them again, his gaze gentle. He leaned in, nudging you with his nose.

“There is nothing to be sorry about, love.”

“Of course there is,” you replied passionately. “I really want to spend more time with you, Baekhyun.”

“You will. We will be together. Once university starts-”

“Can you understand that you consume my thoughts every second? And when I am not with you, the time just drags and it's like a small hell because I cannot see your face-”

Baekhyun kissed you, interrupting your small outburst. You moaned quietly, shyly, bringing him closer by his tie. He played with your lips, teasing you with his tongue, but he wouldn't go further than that. You were in school and as much as he was mischievous, he wouldn't go that far. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled brightly. “I love you, too.”

“And I will wait for you no matter how long it takes, okay? Don't feel sorry. I should study anyway,” he shrugged nonchalantly as if it really weren’t a big deal.

You smiled proudly while massaging his ear with your hand. “Always responsible, my prince.”

Just like you knew he would be, your driver was waiting for you, his face typically devoid of any emotions as you trudged to the school gates, ignoring the snickering gazes of students scattered around the entrance. Baekhyun was with you, hand in hand and just before you would reach the car, you stopped to kiss him goodbye. 

“Text me,” you demanded, looking into his eyes.

He nodded, and his long hair fell into his eyes. “I will.”

Not wanting to let go just yet, you took the opportunity and brushed his soft hair out of his eyes while he gently gazed into yours. 

“Promise me you won’t go against your parents,” he said suddenly, his voice quiet and hushed.

You focused on him, slowly retreating your hand from his hair. “What do you mean?” you asked, despite having a very good hunch. He knew your family very well, if not from what you have told him already, then from the experiences of when you would bring him home to study together and his parents would be cold and heartless, especially to you, not accepting your relationship with Baekhyun at all.

He sighed and looked somewhere else for a moment, letting the surroundings absorb in his mind before facing you. “I don’t want something happening to you. It just seems to me that the more you go against them, the more they will push you, mentally or physically. And I don’t want that.”

His worries made you feel warm. Someone actually cared for your well-being, unlike other people you were blood-related to. “I will be a good girl, hm?” you murmured, hearing your driver opening his door to get out, obviously impatient. “I will obey. For you.”

Baekhyun nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s the talk. Now go, before Mr Lee loses his cool,” he said, stepping away from you and nudging his head towards your driver who already opened your car door, obviously urging you to hurry.

You pressed your lips together and waved at your boyfriend one more time before turning and sliding inside the car, the door shutting loudly behind you, voicing the driver's dissatisfaction with your attitude.

Even if you wanted to wave at Baekhyun, you knew he wouldn’t see you. The windows were completely black.

You were dressing up for the dreaded dinner when your mother entered your room. Without knocking, of course. She looked at your dress of dark-red colour combined with a cute black bow on your back. The A skirt was hugging your curves just the right way and the hem stopped in the middle of your thighs that were covered in black stockings. Stylish, you thought.

“Slutty,” was what she said, frowning, her forehead wrinkled into three layers of skin. “Change it.”

You looked at her from behind your shoulder, sending her a poker face before facing your mirror again. “I like it. I won’t change it.”

Your mother sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re ridiculous. Who are you dressing up for? Your lover boy isn’t coming tonight.”

“And whose fault is that?” you fired back, hating whenever they as much as mentioned him. He was too good to be pronounced in their mouths. “It ain’t mine, mother. So stop irking me!”

“Watch your tone,” she said in a low voice before sighing deeply and shaking her head. “Listen. Your grandfather and grandmother will be here soon, so change. You know they are very conservative.”

“I’m not even showing skin,” you muttered, frustrated.

“You’re still a high school student. You aren’t supposed to be looking like this.”

Swiftly turning around, you walked to her slowly. “I’m not supposed to be having a chest? A butt? I am still growing, you know. Out of all people, you should know.”

“You have those because you eat more than you should and thanks to your boyfriend you are more horny than it’s okay for someone your age which leads you to have a big appetite,” she deadpanned. “So cover yourself up. This is not a strip club.”

Your mouth fell open, complete disbelief widening your eyes. She must have not been serious. But you knew she was, so what was more annoying was the fact that you still got angry and you still fought back, despite knowing their preferences for years. You tried to ignore the sting in your chest when she talked about food and about the way your body naturally worked. You were a hormonal teenager. Why couldn’t she understand?

Quickly remembering the promise you made to Baekhyun, you collected yourself and, although in pain, you nodded. But before you could answer, your mother continued: “Besides. Given the nature of our get-together today, you do need to look more responsible.”

That made you frown in confusion. “What does that mean?”

She smiled, though it was rather smug than anything else. “You will find out soon enough.”

“Mum!”

“Change,” she commanded, something dark flashing in her eyes before she walked out of the room.

Annoying tears burned in your eyes, and you quickly grabbed your phone, wanting to complain to Baekhyun, but he beat you to it and you found messages from him sent only a couple of minutes ago that immediately pacified your wild emotions.

i’m thinking of you ❤️ always

even now

and even now

and now too

gorgeous 😘🥰

You smiled through your tears, the need of wanting to be with him growing by tenfold. He melted all the negative emotions you had in yourself and you sat down on your bed, your eyes scanning the texts, the emoticons, and then the picture you had for him. He was being silly on it, wearing your sunglasses and pretending to be a girl group member looking seductive.

With a final look, you nodded to yourself, determined to follow what you had promised. 

Changing into a white shirt politely tucked into a black pencil skirt with your hair strictly tied into a knot, you looked like any worker in your father's company; not standing out, conservative and a little bit numb.

Only one thing was eating you away as you made your way downstairs to the huge dining hall, your parents already  welcoming your grandparents whose eyes gave you a strict look over. 

The nature of this dinner. 

What could that be?

All of the dinners had something into it. Your parents never did anything just for the sake of doing it. If there wasn’t something profitable in the action, they would never bother. But what did they want from your grandparents?

“Oh, finally you decided to show up. What are these manners, letting your old folks wait for you, hm?” Your grandmother’s words sounded like crow’s wailing. Annoying, terribly annoying. 

“Excuse me. Had to dress up properly for your company,” you replied in a calm tone, not paying attention to her nagging. You walked up to them and bowed politely, respecting them.

Your grandma scoffed, frowning at you while your grandfather’s eyes crinkled up a bit in a small smile, though he didn’t say anything besides nodding once to acknowledge your polite greeting. 

“Let’s just sit, shall we?” your father voiced, motioning to the prepared dining table adorned in a cream table cloth. “Before the food gets cold.”

“Yes, yes, we have things to discuss anyway,” rasped your grandmother as she sat down.

Your father was at the head of the table while your mother and you sat on his right, your grandparents on the opposite site. You ended up facing your grandfather for which you were thankful. He was one of the less evil. In fact, he barely ever showed any interest in the happenings around the dirty business your family was involved in.

Now that you thought about it, you didn’t know about him and your evil grandma. You had been secluded from any warm interaction since young age, so you never even bothered asking how they met and how they fell in love. How did grandfather even deal with someone like her was beyond your understanding.

Once your mother started talking in her superior tone, you concluded that your grandfather still managed to raise up someone like your mother. He probably wasn’t any better than the rest of the family.

“We have been in close contact with the rival company,” she started and you suppressed the need to roll your eyes.

Servants put all the food in front of you; seaweed soup, lots of side dishes, meat, fish, rice, rice cakes and corn tea. You usually liked the food but given you had to listen to another business talk, you lost your appetite.

“Their son is already in his thirties, so they requested the marriage as soon as our daughter is out of high school.”

You jumped in your seat, knocking your knee in the table rather painfully. You didn’t have time to curse and look at your mother, who continued talking as if nothing was happening: “Obviously we need to finish this deal before any more losses could happen to our business. Their company is overflowing with profit-“

“What are you talking about?” you snapped, not watching your tone that came out rude.

Your father frowned. “Your attitude is honestly disappointing. How can you talk to your mother in that to-“

“I am not getting married to anyone!” you shouted, growing hot-headed, your knee throbbing in pain. “I-I have a university to attend soon! How can I marry before getting a degree?! And I have a boyfriend-“

Your mother laughed drily. “How on earth can you even consider that boy?” she said, looking at you with utmost calmness. “He is just a middle-class boy.”

Your grandmother and father joined her in chuckles. “Don’t be silly,” said your grandmother. “It’s just a high school crush. It’s always about experimenting and not understanding what love is. Silly teenager stuff.”

“What do you know about love?” you asked doubtfully, turning to your grandmother with a death glare to which she returned it back.

“How dare you question your elders?! Calm down this instant and listen!”

If it were possible, fumes would be coming out of your nose and ears. You couldn’t believe what you just heard was true. It couldn’t be. You wouldn’t allow it.

“Besides,” started your father in a scolding manner, “you are not good at studies. We agreed to let you attend the university you chose, but your studies will be fruitless since you didn’t study as you were told to. You aren’t a man either,” he scoffed and gave a side eye to your mother who now froze. “But that isn’t your fault that you weren’t born a man. That’s someone else’s.”

Completely at loss for words, you fell back in your chair, devastated at what you just heard. Not only he degraded you, but he now attacked your mother.

In a sudden need to defend your mother as a woman rather than as your parent, you snapped: “It’s the amount of sperm that a man manages to put into a woman that decides the gender. If it’s anyone’s fault that I am a girl, it’s yours!”

Everyone went silent at what you just said, your father so shocked his mouth hung open. He blinked a few times, regaining his posture but you were already standing up. “I am not marrying anyone! I already have a boy-“

“So you do all the dirty stuff with this boyfriend of yours and that’s why your mouth is so nasty!” came your father’s voice like a thunder.

“She needs to break up with him. He is no good influence on her,” butted in your grandmother nonchalantly as she slurped her seaweed soup.

You snapped your eyes to her, and to your grandfather who was frowning down at his empty plate.

“I won’t break up with Baekhyun.”

“Then keep your delusions up. But once you're out of high school, the ceremony will take place,” said your mother resolutely, sending daggers your way. 

“I don’t want to do anything with your business,” you now said in despair. “I don’t want to own your company!”

Your father snickered drily in disgust. “You won’t own our company, daughter. You’re useless as it is, so we are going to merge the companies. That’s the only way we can save our hard work.”

You shook your hair. “No, I refuse!”

“You don’t have a choice,” shrugged your mother now turning back to her plate. “You can do whatever you want, but your fate is in our hands. That’s why,” she emphasized and looked at you, “for your own good, break up with your boyfriend. He is no good news. Save yourself the heartbreak. He is with you for the money anyway.”

You stood frozen, keeping the gasp in. Tears were spilling out of your eyes and you turned around, running back to your room, sobs leaving your mouth.

You always knew your family was a nightmare - cold, scary, emotionless. But this was too much for your young self.

All you wanted was warmth, safety and honest emotions.

All of those were what Baekhyun offered you.

He was more than just a boyfriend.

He was love.

That night, you didn't call Baekhyun, instead deciding to text him back to let him know that everything went fine. He was studying anyway, and if you wanted something, it was for him to become successful in a field that he was passionate about. Unlike you, who barely had any hobbies, let alone passions.

Finally crying yourself to sleep around 3am, your alarm went off too early in the morning, a strong headache first thing you felt as you turned off the blaring thing.

Sighing, you fell back on the comfortable pillows, their lavender smell engulfing your senses and momentarily offering a calming pat on your headache. Closing your eyes, you felt your eyes well up again, the idea of having to break up with Baekhyun just not adding up in your mind. How could you do that? Why would you deprive yourself of the only source of light you had in your life? For someone you never even met. Someone who seemed to be much, much older than you.

“I'm not doing it,” you whispered into the stillness of your room, your voice hoarse. Tears slid out of your eyes and down your sides until they tickled your ears. “I'm not.”

And with that, you faced your day; you washed up, put on your uniform, packed the necessary books and headed out, not saying your morning greetings, nor eating breakfast. Ignoring your surroundings, you went out not even waiting for your driver. You decided you will take the mundane route to school that day: bus and metro like Baekhyun did everyday.

“Hey, are you okay?” Someone’s fingers appeared in the line of your vision. Fingers all too familiar.

You looked up to see a worried Baekhyun, his shirt untucked and his tie loosen-up around his neck giving him the typical goofy, laid-back look that lived up very well to his personality. You managed to smile. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t get to sleep much.”

“And why is that?” he asked, taking the closest seat to yours, looking around to check if the owner of the seat wasn’t there. When you pursed your lips, debating what to say, he added gently: “What is bothering you, hm? You know you can tell me.”

Releasing probably the nth sigh of that day, you closed your eyes for a moment before looking at him. “Let’s talk after school maybe. It’s not something to discuss here.”

Baekhyun nodded but you saw the rapid thinking his mind drifted off to. He could sense trouble, especially with your family. “Alright, let’s do that. But your driver-“

“He didn’t drive me to school, so he won’t be driving me from school,” you said in a monotone and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at that.

“How did you come to school?”

You shrugged. “Like you do everyday. Public transport.”

Slowly, his mouth stretched to a soft, lopsided smile, his hand reaching out to caress your cheek with the back of his fingers. “Enjoyed it?”

You mimicked his smile, his touch easing up the tension you couldn’t get rid of since last night. “Yeah, thoroughly. Only you were missing. Then it would be perfect.” 

His smile only grew and you turned your head slightly, kissing his hand before he retracted it, keeping the eye contact while he kissed the same spot your lips touched on his hand.

You watched in small awe and you giggled when he added a louder smooch. “You’re unbelievable.”

He let out a laugh, standing up when the bell rang. “But you love me.” He squeezed your shoulder.

“That I do.”

After that, you couldn’t focus any more in any of the classes. Once again it was proved that you wouldn’t be able to even imagine your life without Baekhyun next to you. Yes, the idea of marriage was scary but you’d marry him. In an instant.

Finally coming up with a way to make something out for yourself and of that damn deal your parents made, you slipped out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang announcing the end of your last class of that day. Quickly pulling out your phone, you hid in the toilets and dialed your mother's phone who lazily picked up after countless attempts.

“What.”

So you were still in a war zone. “If I am to get married,” you started without further ado, “he can not touch me. And I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”

It was silent for a moment before your mother let out a laugh. “Oh, honey. We do want you to finish university first before anything else will happen.”

She didn’t add anything more which confused you. “Okay, either way, I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”

“Do whatever you deem correct. Though I bet he won’t like you getting married to someone else? Didn’t you always say how loyal he was?”

You grit your teeth. “Why do you suddenly care about his loyalty?” you hissed, pacing in the small toilet space. “That isn’t your business. You will always get what you want and I already said I will comply but on my terms.”

“Your terms are cheating on your husband? Or on your boyfriend? I really don’t know where this attitude comes from in you. Neither me nor your father are like that-“

Before she could finish, you burst out laughing. “What? You aren’t like that? Don’t be delusional, mother. You’re trying to marry me off for your own profit!” you exclaimed, raising your voice. “The only thing I am asking - no, I am going to do it whether you like it or not. I will be with Baekhyun. I’ll be with him until he breaks up with me.” Because there was no way you would do it.

Your mother was silent for a moment and then she sighed. “Do as you want. As long as you sign the papers…” she trailed off. “I have a meeting now. Let’s discuss once we are home.” And she ended the call.

You realized you were trembling only when you finally let your hand dangle next to your body, already tired from the fights. 

At least she didn’t say anything against the idea.

You took it as a positive sign.

You didn’t go home that night. Baekhyun suggested to sleep over at his house and you gladly agreed. It wouldn't be the first and certainly not the last time. His parents knew you well and you always felt their warm welcome whenever Baekhyun brought you home with him. His mother was a great cook and whenever you saw her, you were reminded of Baekhyun's kind smile.

“Are you staying for the night?” asked his mother with a laugh when you greeted her with a polite bow.

You smiled shyly, nodding and looking up at Baekhyun who was gazing down at you encouragingly. “Yes, if that is okay, auntie.”

“Of course! It's Friday night anyway. My son just keeps studying and not living his young life properly so please, be our guest.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and she said she would prepare a late dinner for you while you and Baehyun went to his room to change into something more comfortable.

“Could you borrow me some of your clothes?” you asked once in his room as you were working on unbuttoning your uniform's shirt and watched shirtless Baekhyun roam in his drawer for your favourite shirt of his.

“Here you go,” he said, coming up to you with the shirt and joggers, but instead of handing them to you, he just put them on the bed and mumbled a soft: “Let me.”

His fingers took over the unbuttoning process, and you closed your eyes at the feathery touch of his hands as he uncovered more skin. When he was reaching your stomach, he paused and you cracked your eyes open, finding him gazing at you intently before his eyes fell to the middle of your breasts that were exposed. He unbuttoned the last two buttons swiftly and then pushed his hands inside the shirt, dragging his fingertips over your hips and waist, tapping each bone of your ribcage until he slid his hands up to your shoulders, sliding the material off. “You want to keep your bra?” he asked, almost as if he wasn't breathing loudly, mimicking your rapidly rising and falling chest.

Shaking your head gently, you mumbled a soft no before he nodded in acknowledgement and with one hand unclasped the bra. He stepped even closer, your nose almost touching his broad and very naked chest. You felt his breath on your cheek as he whispered, pulling on the straps of your bra: “May I?”

Swallowing harshly, you nodded and looked up at him to find his fiery gaze intently set on you. When he pushed the straps off your shoulders and your bra fell to the floor, you shivered at the cool air hitting the hot skin as Baekhyun's fingers were back again, dragging them from your back through your underarms until he reached the sides of your breasts. His breathing was irregular, hot puffs hitting your face while you whimpered softly, egging him on to finally grab you.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered shakily and you let out a loud sigh when he finally took a hold of your mounds, squeezing them gently in his palms.

You brought your arms around his neck, stretching the skin on your chest and you kissed him hungrily, the heat in your core growing almost painful for not being satisfied as you so badly wished you would be.

Baekhyun pushed his tongue into your mouth, going for a dirty kiss right away as he gave a final, stronger squeeze to your breasts before letting them go, bringing his hands down to your backside, bunching up your skirt in lust. He let out a satisfied moan when he grabbed the meat, his finger momentarily sliding inside and between your thighs. You were fast to break the kiss, needing air and also needing to whine because you needed him so badly.

His naked torso pressed now to yours, his hands cheekily teasing you and grabbing you, he was all about games.

“Baekhyun, the food is ready! Come quickly before it gets cold!” shouted his mother down the hallway, thankfully not coming to Baekhyun's room. You froze in his arms nonetheless to which he chuckled.

“Relax,” he murmured, pressing his face into your neck. “She knows not to disturb when my door is closed and you are with me.”

Letting out a breathy laugh, you let go of him just when he did.

“Once we are back,” he said, helping you put on his big t-shirt. “I will take care of that wetness down there. Seems pretty severe.”

You quirked an eyebrow, looking at the tent that was asking for attention over his joggers. “You sound so unaffected.”

He looked down just where your eyes were set and chuckled as if it was nothing. “Oh, sweetie, it's always like this when I'm with you. I just can't help it,” he said and leaned in, biting your earlobe. “You bring out the man in me.”

Everything was a long lost dream and you should have known it. Things you imagined and desired were not what the reality had in store for you, and it just made it more difficult for you to face Baekhyun. Even when you went on the last high school trip where you had the biggest fun, made the most exciting memories, sneaking behind the group to steal a small kiss, even all of that was not able to lighten up your damp mood. Somehow, it was possible for you to fake it, but you would have been dumb if you ever thought Baekhyun believed your words or smiles. He could sense trouble from miles and given the nature of your family, he was always well-aware of how many troubles could grow overnight in your household. He just wouldn't know the severity of the problem. And you weren't planning to tell him, just like you promised yourself and your mother, not until Baekhyun would break up with you.

And right now, it was your graduation day.

The D-day had come when you would have to say goodbye to all your friends, even the fake ones, and you would be a little closer to losing Baekhyun. Except you wouldn't know it would happen that fast.

“Congratulations!” squealed Baekhyun's mother who was fast to hug Baekhyun and you both at the same time, squeezing you to her chest. Your face was pushed into the colourful bouquet of flowers that smelled wonderfully - but from a distance. You tried to  squeeze your eyes shut but you just looked down, catching Baekhyun's worn-out converse sneakers.

Baekhyun snorted a laugh when he saw your face in the freezias, and gently pushed you away from his mother to protect you. As you straightened up, you managed to scrunch your face just in time to sneeze.

“Oh dear, I'm so sorry,” giggled Baekhyun's mother and even his father chuckled from behind her which made your heart warm up.

“It's alright, auntie,” you waved your hand, feeling your eyes watering up but you laughed nonetheless because - how could you ever be mad at such a sweet woman who was the only person on Earth to have the right to call Baekhyun hers? As much as you wished, you were nowhere near close to have the right for him to be yours. And maybe you would never be. “Looking at you, I wonder how was my son able to sweep you off of your feet! You're so beautiful!”

You smiled shyly and felt Baekhyun's soft gaze on you, ready to reach out for your hand before his mother pushed the bouquet into his arms. “This is for you, son, and this is for you, my dear,” she said, giving you one as well.

Just when you were about to thank her politely and bow, your mother's cold voice interrupted the merry atmosphere, your happy smile dying down as you turned to face her, your father and a- stranger? A man, to be exact.

“Here you are,” she said, sending a cold smile towards Baekhyun's parents, ignoring your boyfriend altogether. She stepped closer so she wouldn't be overheard, and muttered: “I guess your wishes will come true soon.” She leaned back and you followed her with your eyes as she stepped aside. “Mr Kwon, please meet my daughter,” she introduced you before continuing, “and this is Mr Kwon Minheob, your fiancée. Greet him properly!” she ordered but you didn't even process what she said.

Standing frozen, your arms were about to let go of the bouquet you just received were it not for Baekhyun who was fast enough to get the flowers out of your grasp. “Oh, that's great news! I'll take these for you!” he exclaimed with a smile and you looked at him with pure horror in your eyes. “Congrats by the way! I will miss you as my classmate!” he added and quickly bowed to your parents. “I'll see you around someday!” And with that, he turned and left.

In that instance, many things were swirling around in your brain - complete, utter shock, overwhelm, fear, heartbreak. What did Baekhyun just do? Why did he say that? And where was he going-

“Nice to meet you,” said the older male with a deep voice. You turned your stare back at him, hearing your heart beating in your ears. “What a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you and your studies. It is so nice of you to lower yourself and your status and attend a regular high school with ordinary people. I believe we will have a lot in common.” He finally uncrossed his hands from behind his back and you found a pastel pink bag dangling off of his somewhat thick fingers. “And this is my congratulatory present for you. Congratulations on graduating high school.”

Once again, you just stared at the bag, unable to make your own hand move and accept the gift with a polite bow like you were expected to. The only thing ringing in your mind was Baekhyun and him only. He found out much sooner than he was supposed to and you hated yourself because he was most probably hating you right now. What was worse - his parents were there, too. They all saw it when it all seemed like you were just about to stay with their son forever. Yet, your family, as always, ruined it all and you weren't sure if you would recover.

Looking up to the tall, grown man, it didn't take you a lot to know he was far from anyone you could have feelings for, ever. The words he just spoke, the malice he said them with, was everything you were standing for. Obviously, he was no one you could have things in common with.

Your father stepped next to you and, painfully, pinched your side, making you gasp and automatically reach out for the gift with a low bow. His fingers were squeezing your skin through your dress and it rushed tears in your eyes, but you blinked them away while accepting the gift and staring at the polished shoes of Kwon Minheob.

“Nice to meet you,” you mumbled, straightening up. The gift bag felt heavy in your hand but you tried not to pay too much attention to it. Eventually, your father also removed his hand from your back and he gave you a pressed smile, though you didn't look at him. “Congratulations, our daughter. Now we can go all to our house and have a good di-”

“I'm sorry, but I still have, eh, friends to greet and meet,” you said, “we also all agreed to have our last meal together as a class,” you added, looking up to meet your father's eyes. You weren't lying; the entire class wanted to meet and have chicken and beer. Preferably spend the time loudly somewhere in a good restaurant.

He shot you a dissatisfied scowl, but you held his gaze. “Until when? You won't be meeting them anyway, why waste time?”

“Exactly,” pressed your mother and smiled brightly at Mr Kwon, who kept observing you with quite an unreadable expression. “And we have Mr Kwon to entertain.”

Quite literally you thought you would start wailing right then and there; everyone was going against you, nobody seeming to listen to your words. Just when you felt tears prickle your eyes, Mr Kwon spoke up and surprised all of you.

“That is not necessary,” he declared, giving a curt smile towards your parents, “she is still young and should enjoy her classmates one last time. I suppose it will be difficult to do it once they all go their own way,” he said in a diplomatic voice, looking at you the entire time. It took a lot in you not to flinch and shudder under his gaze. “So go and enjoy, miss, and I will meet you soon to have a more private conversation with you.” You nodded quickly, though blood was already draining from your face at the idea of what he suggested. Mr Kwon turned to your parents. “I will leave you to entertain your daughter and I will reach out soon.”

Before anyone else could say another word, he gave a short bow and disappeared in the mass of people.

“You do realize-” your mother started, but you were fast to push the bag into her chest, not caring whether she caught it or not, and dashing for the direction that Baekhyun disappeared into.

Of course you were aware how much you would get scolded once you actually faced your parents, but right now you couldn't care less. It was better to get scolded, but losing Baekhyun or even making him hurt just the tiniest of bits made you resent yourself.

And so you pushed past crowds, stopping to say hi, keeping an eye out for any coconut head out there with a family that shone brighter than yours would ever shine. Just when you were about to lose it and start straight up crying in the middle of the crowd, you felt a hand intertwining with yours and you just knew. He didn't turn you around, but you felt his body behind yours and it was you who turned, facing him with a scared expression. 

“Baekhyun,” you whimpered. Seeing his kind smile made you want to slap him because why was he like that after what he heard?

“Hm? Want to tell me about it now?” he asked gently and combed your hair out of your face, his smile growing by an inch. “Pretty.”

You took a deep breath, shakiness overtaking your legs from unwanted pressure. “It isn't what you think it is.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don't want to marry him,” you said and this time, your tears rapidly grew in your eyes and were rolling down your cheeks. “I-I-I never… I mean, not yet. I did-didn't know he would come, I never saw him before and-”

“Shhh, calm down,” he hushed, bringing your face to his chest, hugging you to himself. “Let's talk about it another time.”

“No,” you said, hiccuping, “I am not losing you, Baekhyun.”

“You aren't.” “I'm not losing you,” you repeated, closing your eyes and pressing your face more into him, taking a deep breath of his scent, feeling up his warmth and presence. “I'm not losing you.”

He called your name gently. “It's fine. Don't cry, hm? You know I can't stand seeing you cry. I am not mad and I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered urgently into your ear.

“I just hate my family so much,” you mumbled into his chest. Baekhyun's shirt must have been stained by make-up by then, but neither of you cared. “And I don't want their terrible attitude to damage you.”

“It won't damage me. You are important to me, you. Look at me, hm? Look at me, darling.”

You sniffed and stepped away a little, tilting your head so you could see his kind eyes. He cooed, reaching up to run his thumbs under your eyes. “My little raccoon. Let's enjoy today, alright? Just us. And our classmates,” he added with a little laugh.

You smiled weakly, nodding. Anything Baekhyun wanted, he would get from you.

Your entire class hoarded into a chicken restaurant in Hongdae, the loud cheers and chatterings making many people turn in interest to look at you. You sat down around your girlfriends while you let, though reluctantly, Baekhyun join his pals. Even though you would exchange reassuring looks here and there, you still felt incredibly anxious about the incident earlier. In fact, you were so swallowed up by the idea of losing Baekhyun that you didn't  even think about the actual fiancée, Mr Kwon.

But instead of focusing on that, you decided to enjoy tonight, for you knew events like these won't be coming up for you anytime soon. If anything, your freedom was close to gone.

“I am going to start my own clothing brand,” started one of your classmates that was sitting next to you, munching on her piece of chicken meat. She went on spilling many details that didn't add up in your brain, though you listened carefully to every word she said.

“You don't have your degree yet,” you replied eventually and took a gulp of your coke.

“Funny, coming from someone like you,” she snickered, “you can decide you want to own an island and you will.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes but your classmate just shrugged.

“I can assure you she won't,” came in Baekhyun's voice. “I know it pretty well, since I'm her boyfriend.”

The girls exchanged looks. They all had a secret crush on him, so his words made them a little embarrassed. “Would you even marry her?” they teased.

“I would. In a heartbeat,” was his answer and you looked at him with huge eyes, your mouth that was slightly oily from the chicken hanging open, your heart frantically beating in your chest.

The entire table hollored and whistled, and you caught your boyfriend smiling proudly at you, eventually sending a confident wink. He tapped his mouth with his index finger and then pointed at you. You felt your lips stretch instantly, because you knew he meant “close your mouth”.

“Whew, you really are lucky,” muttered the girl next to you, changing the topic completely.

His hand was intertwined with yours once again as you were slowly walking along the Han river. Ttukseom Han river park was, as always, busy with young people. It gave a great view on Gangnam and Cheongdam that were lying on the opposite side, the city lights of the tall buildings reminding you how life revolved around money and basically anything that smelled even the slightest of capitalism. You found yourself despising all of it.

“Cat stole your tongue?” muttered Baekhyun playfully into the chilly air as he swayed your connected hands.

“Just… thinking,” you replied and made sure your sides were brushing.

He didn't reply, instead letting silence overtake again, but you knew he was curious. He wanted to, and deserved, to know.

“Did you mean it?” you asked, looking at the dark water.

“Did I mean what?”

“That you would marry me in a heartbeat,” you said softly, scared to actually pronounce those words. They sounded so unnatural, for some reason, despite them mirroring everything you ever wanted in life. “What you said during dinner.”

“Yes, I meant it and you know it, too, sweetheart,” he said, shaking your hand.

You smiled to yourself. If you wouldn't spill the beans now, you would probably never find the guts to talk about the main issue that was simmering like the water in a pressure cooker. “My parents want me to marry that man for business. Something along merging their companies or whatever,” you started. “I found out a while ago but I was fighting them. And then you made me promise to obey,” you sighed, feeling the well-known dread eating up your insides, “and I had to agree. But I don't want to.”

“So that's why you weren't yourself,” he muttered more to himself than to you, and he stopped walking so he could look at you properly. When you wouldn't meet his eye, too ashamed, he put his index finger under your chin and made you tilt your head up. “Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?”

“Baekhyun,” you whispered in disbelief, “how could I? It isn't some news about apples growing backwards.”

He chuckled. “Well, you have to admit, that would make the headlines.”

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.”

He let out another chuckle through his nose and slid his hand up so he could cup your cheek lovingly while thinking over his next words. “When are you supposed to marry him?”

You swallowed. “Maybe after uni? I … I never wanted to talk to them, so I don't know exactly… I insisted after university graduation.”

He hummed, running his thumb over your lower lip, his gaze focused on the way he parted your lips. “So, we have four more years?”

You pursed your lips, not liking the idea of having limited time with Baekhyun. “Of course not. I will always be with you.”

He sighed, and eventually dropped his hand on your shoulder; you tried not to feel disappointed. “I think this is more complicated than you think, love.”

“How is it complicated, Baekhyun?” you asked stubbornly. “I love you. I saw that man today for the first time in my life. How can I marry someone I don't know and barely ever saw? He is almost twice my age, Baekhyun. You know this is not okay and you also know it doesn't make any sense.”

“And you know business is anything but emotions,” was his fast reply.

“I don't care about their business.”

“And they don't care that you don't care.”

“Bu-but I just don't care! I will be with you behind his back and-”

“And how would that make me feel?” he fired back, now both of you slowly getting heated up from the small exchange of opinions. Baekhyun just asked something you never wanted him to utter. If you were to talk about him, of course, he was the victim. He'd become a secret lover; the forbidden fruit.

When you didn't reply, he nodded, his hand falling off your shoulder. “I understand.”

“Baekhyun, let's talk about this step by step,” you tried, reaching for his hand which he, thankfully, didn't retreat. “We still have a long time until any of those things could even happen. Maybe it won't happen - and I will try my best not to let it happen. But let it not affect our present. Please,” you added with urgency, looking into his warm eyes.

When Baekhyun was troubled or sad, his eyes seemed to become even more down-ward than they already were. This time, it was no exception and you wanted to reach out and make the wrinkles go away but you didn't. “Let me just think this matter through, alright?” he murmured eventually.

You pressed your lips together and nodded while you stepped close to him, snaking your arms around his waist. He gladly took you in, letting out a deep sigh as he hugged you to him and kissed the top of your head. “It will be okay.”

“May I sleep at yours tonight?” you mumbled into his shoulder after a moment of silence. “I just cannot imagine going back to that hell.”

He rubbed your back gently. “Of course. My mum is already expecting us. We shouldn't disappoint her.”

You leaned back a bit and stood on your toes to press your lips to his. “You're the best.”

And so, after walking a little bit longer and enjoying the faraway noise of the busy roads and nightlife Seoul, you slowly made your way back to the metro station, heading for Baekhyun's house, and your safety.

The both of you were lying on his bed, his parents long asleep, the quietness of the apartment giving you a sense of safeness. Baekhyun had a book open on his lap while you were doodling something you weren’t sure what was yet. Manual work seemed to preoccupy your mind enough and sadly, even with Baekhyun next to you, you couldn’t find your peace of mind. 

“Aren’t you tired yet?” whispered Baekhyun and looked at you, and on the paper to see what you were so focused on. “It’s already 1am. Your parents will want you home early-“

Your sigh interrupted him and you put down the pencil rather harshly as you sat up properly to face him. “Since when do you care about them? You know I will go home whenever I want to. I don’t care, so you shouldn’t either.”

“I don’t want you to get into trouble, okay?” he said back, his voice quiet but low. “There has been enough drama.”

“What worse can happen? They want me to let go of you. That is the worst punishment for me.”

Baekhyun’s gaze softened and he also sat up properly to face you. “I know. I can’t lose you either. And I wasn’t intending on that. I meant that they might lock you up and then I won’t be able to see you so soon, hm?” he murmured gently, his lips puckering with each word as he reached out with his hand to caress your cheek. You leaned into his touch right away. “I want to enjoy what we have now.”

You smiled gently when you recognized your previously uttered words and grabbed his hand that was cradling your cheek. “You know I would sneak out just to meet you if I were to be locked up.”

He rewarded you with a lopsided, handsome smile. “You shouldn’t, you little devil.”

You sighed and shimmied yourself closer until your knees were touching his. “Kiss me,” you whispered breathily, already eyeing his lips.

He observed you a little longer before his eyes dropped on yours. Softly smiling, he leaned in, now both of his hands on your neck to angle your face. The softest of touches was what you felt first before he pressed his lips harsher, moving his mouth against yours. Your hands snaked around his neck to urge him on while he opened your mouth and invited himself in. Without meaning to, you let out a satisfied hum that seemed to ignite Baekhyun because he pressed harder, slowly making you fall back on your back, head on the pillows.

He grunted as you spread your legs so he could settle himself there as your kiss grew dirtier, all tongues and teeth, battling for dominance. Your fingers were messing up his hair while his hands were touching you over the fabric of his pyjamas.

It was your whines and a couple of pulls on the hem of his shirt that made Baekhyun lean back so that you could undress in haste, both of you eager and very much horny. Finally feeling the hot skin of his chest press up against yours he was too eager and he already lined himself up at your center, needing the release without any foreplay.

“Just keep quiet, alright?” he reminded softly into your ear under which he placed the softest kiss before he started pushing in, your mouth falling open, but your juices doing a good enough job for his easy access.

You gasped rather loudly and he silenced you with a messy kiss, interrupting it with harsh pants on your mouth as his eyes were closed in focus, his forehead pressed against yours. You panted and tilted your head to chase his parted lips while he pushed himself in all the way, reaching the stillness that you very much needed.

Unable to take the pain, your eyes were squeezed shut, scratching Baekhyun’s back while the other hand fisted his blanket. 

“Just a little longer,” Baekhyun whispered urgently, lips against your forehead, repeatedly puckering them in tiny butterfly  kisses. “The pain will be all gone, I promise. I’ll make you feel like no one on this planet.” He moved the slightest bit, the friction making him hide his face in your neck and mouth at the skin.

Your heaving chest was pressing up against his and with his next movement, you felt the tingles of pleasure that he promised you just heartbeats ago. Giving Baekhyun the sign to move, he started rocking, already setting up a faster pace for he couldn’t wait any longer. Your influence on him was too strong, his emotions for you too overwhelming. In his eyes, you were so sexy, beautiful, sensitive, and absolutely alluring. It would be brutal if he had to hold back while having you underneath him.

Who did he try to lie to? He went absolutely crazy at the idea of him having to leave you for another man; some old dude who didn’t even know you. It might have been the reason why he grew relentless, pushing you into his mattress and snapping his hips, your face of pure ecstasy only fueling his passionate drive. He hated the entire situation. He didn’t want to share you. He never wanted to have a secret relationship with you. If he imagined a future, besides him becoming a doctor, it was your presence next to his the entire time.

Baekhyun was never one to be aggressive and stubbornly go against every rule, unlike you. In your relationship, he was the cold-headed one, the peace-maker, always fighting for what the brain said instead of the heart.

But right now, his heart was in despair, already feeling the beginning of a heart break. He thrusted into you with such passion you really couldn't contain your moans and he wasn’t sure he wanted you to keep quiet anymore. Let everyone know that you belonged to him.

He bit your skin just under your collarbones, tasting the sweat, and you gasped, fisting his hair which prompted him to grunt and reach your g-spot.

“Cum for me,” he whispered harshly, biting you again and then moving his face to push his tongue into your open mouth. “Cum for me and say my name.”

He didn’t have to tell you as you were already panting his name like a mantra that would bring you to heaven. Your walls were pleasurably stretched out, the throaty sounds he made bringing you over the edge. He followed soon after your breathy moans and your arching back that caused your breasts to press to his sweaty chest made him lose it.

His arms snaked in the space between your back and the mattress and he squeezed your body to him, hiding his face in your breasts that he mouthed and licked at sensually while feeling himself release.

With one last bite to your sensitive nipple, he moved to kiss you, your tired smile welcoming him. “I love you.”

You combed his hair away from his damp forehead. “I love you more.” But please don't leave me.

--

CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to the Be.T.S. Live

Finally getting to watch this and I seem to be incapable of consuming any BTS content without taking notes, so I figured I might as well share these in case they’re of any interest. (Also, I haven’t given up on finishing the Run episodes guide, progress has just been slow because of a combo of personal stuff and the fic I’m working on.)

FYI, the questions I ask aren’t rhetorical - would love to hear thoughts if you have them!

0:00 - I know eye-lines are tough to figure out sometimes, but it does appear like this starts out with JM staring at JK, right? 

2:36 - Do people seriously believe these guys all still live together? To me, there is such a clear vibe of friends / colleagues catching up after it’s been a minute. There’s only one person who makes a comment about how they know someone hasn’t been exercising so much but does it hard whenever they do, and no points for guessing who that is. JM also keeps his hand on JK’s shoulder the entire exchange. 

5:48 - The table and stuff on it are arranged in such a way that you can’t always tell where people’s hands are. I may be writing my own fan fiction here, but I found myself wondering if Jimin’s right hand being potentially on JK’s left knee might have anything to do with him calming down a little from the intense fidgeting he’d been doing prior...

6:13 - JK does not appear at all bored which playing around pushing down Jimin’s shoulders one by one after Jimin complains about holding them up too high. 

8:35 - More fanfiction, or does JM touch JK’s leg briefly after the convo he sparked about Jin and Tae being the most handsome members? 

9:42 - After Jimin gives V the fortune cookie telling him it’s for the most handsome guy in the world, he then jokingly tells him to hand it over to JK. 

10:02 - JM strokes JK’s cheek when JK finishes singing. 

17:19 - Vminkook moment where both Tae and JM rub JK’s shoulders as the group discusses the five JKs vs 5-yr-old JK question they’ve all been getting. 

17:51 - When they switch the above question to JM, JK picks 5 Jimins. RM asks him why, and he says he thinks it’d be fun, and JM ducks his head while RM laughs in a way that seems entirely out of proportion with how amusing that line is (unless he’s thinking of a different type of fun JK could be referring to...). JK quickly clarifies that he thinks they’d all make them laugh. 

18:18 - JM says he’d pick 5-yr-old JK because none of the five would do work, which is such a bf comment, no? 

19:56 - When the  guys are discussing poking your cheek while closing an eye, JM pokes JK’s cheek. 

21:56 - Really curious if anyone has more insight on the translation here? It seems like someone asks if all seven of them are living together and the guys avoid the question by responding as if they question is whether they are living. If that’s accurate, seems to support the point about about them not pretending to live together anymore. But it also might just be a weird translation thing...

24:35 - Is it just me, or does JM direct his “airplane noise” bit at JK? Also, JK totally called him out on having come up with it beforehand. 

24:58 - Okay, Jimin’s hand is def on JK’s knee / thigh here. 

26:00 - JK calls JM out again, this time for the shoulder reveal in the BE photo shoot. I’m side-eyeing Jimin's claim that he always reveals his left shoulder because it’s “narrower” so things “slip” off. 

30:28 - Is JM gesturing at JK when he saws VLive is something you can do together? 

30:46 - JM’s hand is on JK’s thigh again. I feel obligated to point out that this isn’t super significant on it’s own because it’s fairly normal skinship between the guys, but mentioning it as part of a larger pattern here. 

33:36 - JM puts his hand on JK’s shoulder while talking about his sketch of J-Hope. 

34:10 - JM touches JK’s chest / shoulder when he says he won’t talk to him at work anymore if he doesn’t also get a sketch on his bday. 

34:32 - JM touches JK’s chest again and then holds his hand as he promises on JK’s behalf that JK will draw a Bang PD sketch if they get over 8 million viewers. 

34:52 - JK and JM have a whole flirty exchange about how JK is going to choose the pictures he bases his sketches of the members off of. 

35:08 - JM seems to be feeling really touchy in this, because he goes from holding JK’s knee / thigh to patting his chest again, then his shoulder, then he puts his hand on JK’s shoulder again and keeps it there for a while before bringing it back to his leg.

35:37 - The look JK gives JM here is adorable. 

37:45 - After Yoongi calls JK out for swaying a bunch, Jimin rubs JK’s arm. He then shakes JK’s hand when JK finishes his ment. 

39:15 - Jikook seem to have some little exchange here that’s we’re not privy to. 

39:50 - This seems to be another subtle inside joke between the two. 

40:40 - JM has his hands on both of JK’s shoulders when they all get into position for the final shot. 

This was even more jikook-y than I’d been expecting having seen some of the clips! Hope you guys enjoyed as much as I did. 🥰

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read the Erwin date scenarios and it’s so hood AGH could you please do one for armin? Plz 😚

You read my mind👀 ngl I think about Armin each time I write something for Erwin, despite them being alike i like to compare the differences and think they have different tastes and love languages.

Erwin strikes me a more act of services and gift giving guy while Armin would definitely go for words of affirmation and quality time.

Type of dates with Armin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Armin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "in bloom" by Abbott Fuller Graves 1859–1936 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Spending a full day on the beach: when i say a full day I mean it, he's driving you there really early in the morning while you're struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. He doesn't even need coffee he's running on 100% pure determination and will.

You'd arrive before anyone there, to get the best spot of course. It's close enough to the sea that you can feel the humidity of the water in the air, yet far enough from the rest of the beach that other people won't bother you.

He'd understand if you were too sleepy to help him set things up, he'd just kiss your forehead before letting you go back to sleep, promising he'll get you something to drink when the stores open.

You wake up to the smell of your favourite hot drink, just around 8am. The sun is up and the air is refreshing, you can hear the quiet chatter of people far away just arriving here. You sip your drink as Armin guides you to the small comfortable space he made, proudly showing off his work.

Please praise him and give him a kiss on the cheek, he will melt.

The rest of the day is spent with you two swimming lazily in the water, feeling the warm sunlight on your skin. Collecting whatever pretty seashell you see, using some to decorate the sandcastle Armin built with you. He takes a pictures of you at seemingly random moments, he promises to show you when he devolps them later.

You help him dry his hair afterwards, he take you to get ice cream. Despite getting you one too, he still ends up sharing his own with you, and if you're up for seconds he'd happily oblige.

When night falls and the people began leaving, the waves of the ocean get a little higher, wind turning colder. Don't worry, Armin thought about that, that's why he brought blankets.

He'd wrap you both in the same one, even holding you close to him, it's for warmth he says and yet he seems like he was looking forward for this. You help him in making a small bonfire, he brought marshmallows.

The rest of the night is spent with you laying against him while huddled in a blanket, looking at the heavens above and the constellation of the stars.

He takes your hand in his, guiding your finger to where polaris is. "It never changes" he says "no matter what" and from that star, he guides you through the formation of the little dipper.

Just right under it, directly under the polaris, begins the big dipper, a close replica to its little sister.

You spend hours like this, looking at the stars as new formations come and go with the time. You were early enough to catch Aries as it was leaving, pleiades, the seven sisters shining brightly next to it.

And just after midnight it was Sirius turn to say goodbye. That's when both of you decided to call it a night, he hugged you close to him, you could feel his heartbeat slowing down, he was oh so warm and tasted just like chocolate and marshmallows when you kissed goodnight.

2. Going on an adventure and trying new things: Armin has the need to try new things and gain new experiences, despite being someone who prefers small groups of friends and getting lost in a book than socialising. It's something that's been a part of him since he was a child, he wants to experience what the world has to offer and won't say no despite how utterly terrifying it can be to him.

And he wants to have those experiences with you, to share his love for the unknown with you, to see your reactions and share his own thoughts. The only thing that's better than going on adventures to him is going on adventures with you.

An adventure could be anything really, it could be going diving underwater or going to that creepy looking supermarket that never closes, you never know. An adventure is an adventure after all. The possibilities are endless.

So don't be surprised when he asks for you to go with him sky diving for his birthday despite knowing how terrfied he is of heights and how even a carnaval ride can make him sick.

Good or bad he doesn't care, he just wants to try and learn everything. He's full of curiosity and surprises that you'd never get bored, although a good thing about him is that he never is unprepared.

Yes he will take you on seemingly dangerous adventures but know that he really deeply thought about this before hand and is prepared for all the different scenarios that could happen, he likes the unknown but he's smart and cautious on how to approche it.

Not to mention that a single adventure can leave him satisfied for a long time before craving a new rush, probably once or twice a year. Just frequent enough to be something to look forward to but not too frequent that it becomes boring or too repetitive, he manages to keep that balance and walk on that thin line.

3. Hot air ballon ride: just imagine, it's early autumn, the weather is just right to wear those cozy yet good looking clothes, the earth seems like it's turning slower than usual as the trees change colours.

Around sunrise or sunset, both of you are high up in the air, the sun clearly in view with the golden clouds surrounding it. The world managing to look so small yet so vast at the same time.

Armin is wearing his favourite sweater and scarf combo, he's holding your hand in his pocket to keep it warm. It's just you and him isolated from the rest of the world like other people dont exist anymore, and strangely he's okay with that, at peace even.

He brings a camera and captures how the sun reflects in your eyes, how the chilly air makes you rub your hands together for warmth and how utterly breathtaking you look.

Beautiful, gorgeous even, these are the only thoughts in his mind at that moment.

And so Armin made a promise to himself that in the far future, when he wants to be even closer to you, to vow his life to yours, he'd propose on a hot air balloon.

But as much as he likes staying up in the air with you being his angel, the process of booking a ride is much more complicated and time consuming than he originally thought. Meaning he doesn't get to enjoy these rare heavenly moments as he wants to.

He needs to make reservations in advance, not to mention how important it is to choose a trustworthy company. Lastly how rides depend on the weather conditions, needing to reschedule if the weather takes a turn to the worse.

4. Visiting the aquarium or planetarium: he's just a boy with oceans for eyes and stars in his smile, can you really blame him for gravitating towards these places? Or for diving too deep in knowledge about the sky above and sea below?

Whenever the weather is too harsh for a beach trip or the sky is too cloudy for a stargazing night, these two places are his to go backups.

He's memorised the place like the back of his hand, no need for a map. Want to see the shark tanks and how they're doing? He'll take you there and introduce to them and the silly nicknames he gave them. Or how about saying hello to the dolphins who'll show off some moves just for your attention, or maybe you miss seeing the adorable penguins wobble around?

He knows endless facts about each fish kind, he makes it seem so fascinating and the way he phrases the information and coats them in milk and honey makes it impossible for you not to engage.

You both could have a slow with few words spoken walk and it still be as interesting, he'd even make special playlists to listen to while walking around and sharing his earphones.

Meanwhile at the planetarium, sometimes in the early mornings you'd run into kids just arriving for their school trip. Racing each other to the solar system panel and looking in amazement when the stars show begins. You and Armin have a nostalgic feeling when watching them, yet when you look at each other you remember how good it feels like to be grown and have someone special.

You never could get bored of seeing the stars, especially not with Armin.

5. Trying a new kind of art: one time you asked him what does he think the meaning of art is, what even is art?

"Art is communication" he said.

Armin has a deep love and appreciation for all kind of art, from classic oil canvas paintings to old greek sculptures. He doesn't pick a side, he likes both the modren and classic.

Music is art, writing is art and even making pottery is a form of art too. He wants to experience it, not for a need to acolmplish something or to rival Shakespeare, but for a need to communicate his emotions in a more subtle and personal way.

Like a secret language only he can decipher the meaning of, after all he was the one to create it.

Whenever he tries a new form of art, his usual fear of failure and absurdly high expectations actually go out the window. There isn't good and bad art, there's just different levels of communication and different styles.

So to him, the act of bringing you both some watercolours and cotton papers to paint on for a date is incredibly intimate, that's his true feelings and emotions he's showing you. But don't worry, he isn't here to take the whole thing seriously, he's actually playful and mellow most of the time.

Or maybe he'd like to make pottery with you, an excuse to put his hands around yours while sitting intimately close, maybe even give your shoulder a couple kisses while you shape the vase you agreed on making.

The next day, you find the finished vase near the window with a sunflower arrangements inside.

It also could be you two sitting next to each other, working together on a page of an adult colouring book or maybe to each one his own book. He'd hog the color blue most of the time so watch out, and don't lend him yours because he will hog it too.

Or maybe as a fun past time, you'd both attempt to make poetry, expect you're getting more and more drunk on the fruit flavoured beer he brought with him. You had fun laughing while reading what you came up with the next morning.

6. Going fruit picking in summer: it's his favourite way to celebrate the arrival of his favourite season, wear something light, pack some lemonade and go enjoy what mother nature has to offer.

You two would walk around in the fields, he's wearing a straw hat to block the sun, he thinks it looks better on you. Both of you looking at the fruits waiting to be picked, choosing the really unique shaped ones, the colourful ones and the especially delicious looking ones.

You might meet some small friends along the way, like a couple ladybugs that were crawling up Armin's arm. Two butterflies dancing in the air and even a frog that's taking a walk from its lake home nearby.

Going home that day with baskets full of different fruits waiting for your use, Armin and you discuss all the different ways you could use them for, like making delicious smoothies, or maybe saving them for baking a pie or cake. Maybe cutting them in small bites and covering them with different kinds of chocolate, maybe just making a fruits salad to enjoy while Armin reads you a book

Or maybe, maybe just washing them and eating them raw. Yeah that option sounds the most appealing after a day of walking through fields in the sun.

He'd feed you some, push them against your lips and smile when your eyes subtly light up at the sweet taste....maybe a kiss after so he could taste it too?

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Megan

Writing Blog URL(s): @yunocity​

What fandom(s) do you write for? NCT (127, Dream, Wayv, U)

Age: 20

Nationality: Asian American

Languages: English, Hmong with limited knowledge in Chinese and Korean

Star Sign: Sun: Scorpio, Moon: Taurus, Rising: Aquarius 

MBTI: ESTJ-A

Favorite color: Black, red, white

Favorite food: Spring rolls

Favorite movie: Miracles in Cell No.7, Love Rosie

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mango

Favorite animal: Baby pandas

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Tea!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Marketer for a luxury fashion company or a high-end makeup brand

Go-to karaoke song: Video Games- Lana Del Ray

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: Mind Reading!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Roaring 20s

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No, I think the way my life is laid out is how it’s supposed to be. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve learned from them. I think if I were to restart my life, I’d not be who I am at this moment and I like who I am right now, I like who I’ve grown to be! 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses 

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: The dancers/athletes!

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: I’m skeptical about them so yes 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: If you look closely, my eyes are different shades of brown!

When did you post your first piece?: May 11, 2020

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I’ve been on Tumblr for a long time, but I’ve only gotten into reading other accounts’ works 2-3 years ago. Eventually, they inspired me into wanting to make my own writing account and share my stories and ideas!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: Nope!

What inspires you to write?: My emotions and ideas. Also reading old texts from people I love or used to be in my life, tv shows/movies/kdramas, vision boards, and aesthetics of different countries around the world. Most of the time, my mind just comes up with wild random scenarios.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: I take a break! I’d close my laptop and usually go dance (it’s a way for myself to take a break, yet still feel physically inspired), spend time with family, grab a snack, do some digital art, or research a conspiracy theory!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: Yes, I write smut (legal members only ofc), angst, and general. I write those kinds of genres because those are the most common and there’s so much that you can do with them! You can write them however you want and write whatever kind of plot you see fit, there’s so much flexibility.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: As of right now, I have been writing for “X Readers” because I want to be really inclusive of everyone! I don’t think I’ll go into OCs or ships (assuming idol and another idol?) because I don’t see that as inclusive. I most likely will stick to “X Readers”.

Who is your favorite person to write about?: Jaehyun from NCT

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’ve only gotten to post one kind of au (arranged marriage au), but some that I have in my drafts that I absolutely enjoy are idol au, friends to lovers au, enemies to lovers au, mafia au, fwb au, and mythology au. A genre I also love writing is angst!

What is your writing process like?: I usually write at night after I shower and do my night routine. I plug in some headphones, play some music that fits the mood of the story presently, and start writing! If I have writer’s block, I’ll usually watch some old mvs that bring back old memories!

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: I haven’t published it yet, because it’s still under the wraps and I want to post about other members too, but I have a mythology au with Jaehyun and it’s my absolute favorite right now! I can’t wait to post it!!

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: Yes and no! Yes, because whenever I think of (original) prose I think of a technique of writing that flows naturally with speech and has grammatical structure, so as long as stories have those skills, I would consider them as so. We as humans actually speak, write, and think in prose because it’s seen as a straightforward language and conversational speech. No, because at the same time prose consists of many things. There are several types of prose (non-fictional, fictional, heroic, poetic), so if a story states that it is a specific prose, I would say there is a difference!

What do you think makes a good story?: Emotion 100%. The ability to write with emotions without straightforwardly telling the readers what kind of emotion is felt within a character. Also description of an environment, again, having the ability to describe a moment without stating it like it’s supposed to be obvious. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: The emotion that my writing invokes from them. I want them to read my work and feel the emotion that I’m trying to provoke! Also the fact that I work hard and put a lot of thought while being realistic as I can with the plot! 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Not yet!

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: Ones that I love are enemies to lovers, friends with benefits to lovers, friends to lovers, different worlds (metaphorically), and I have some more that I can’t think of! Ones that I cannot stand are, stuck together to lovers, secret billionaire, childhood marriage promises, amnesia, and “If i can’t have you, no one will!!” 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: Definitely my process/planning; on how I think of a story and plan it out on my iPad with a bunch of side notes and idea webs.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: Oh, it means so much, I can’t even explain. I love it when I get asks that tell me about how mad they are, how much they cried, or how happy they are about something that happened in the story. It means a lot because it means that they actually read through my work and enjoyed it. I love it when my followers and anons talk to me in general!

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes, I definitely think that we get judged for being too much in our head or having too many unrealistic fantasies. Fanfic writing is just another way of expressing our ideas simply with the person we adore from a group, it doesn’t necessarily mean we fantasize it to happen. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Yes! I think that any idea from the mind that expresses emotion and inspiration visually or not, is considered an art. There’s a lot that goes into writing than what people think! Such as finding the creativity for metaphors in a story that will not only bring out emotion from the character and reader, but also a visual representation to symbolize the emotion. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: Yes, I always get asks asking me when I’ll update, but it’s not too much of a bother because I know they’re just really excited for the next part or another set of work. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: Not at all, I think I do a fairly good job at writing to the point where there’d be no misunderstandings. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: No, I like to keep it private because I’d rather have them not tease or make fun of me for what I genuinely like to do. 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: That I literally love them all so much and I appreciate each and every one of them. I mean it from the bottom of my heart, they’re all so nice, welcoming, and supportive. It encourages me to write more! 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Definitely go for it! You’ll never know until you try! There will be people who don’t like it, but those who truly love your writing will support you forever, will stick around, encourage you, and lift you up. Be confident in your writing, be confident that your brain came up with such an amazing plot/story and has woven so many things together to create it!

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: I do have a few mutuals that I talk to. One of them has read my story and given such good feedback, which I loved because I’m always looking for opportunities to grow as a writer. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” -Will Smith

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[vitos-ordination-song]

Sarazanmai analysis time. One of the aspects of the show ppl (including me) have the hardest time understanding is the logic of its metaphysical system. Utena’s is more developed, not necessarily easier to grasp, but detailed enough that people pick up on patterns/metaphors most of the time. Sarazanmai is shorter and not as much time is spent on actually giving you answers about, say, the Kappa kingdom.

I have read into the Kappas vs Otters conflict something about Japanese identity and modernity. I really don’t know if this was intended and I’m not Japanese so it’s just my interpretation, but I think the Kappas represent the commodification of traditional Japanese culture, and the Otters the force of industrial capitalism which carries out that commodification.

Then you have the Keppi split between Hope and Despair, which is actually just Keppi split from his own desire to despair. Thus despair and hope equally are represented as being desire. In this metaphysical system, Kappas are hope and Otters are desire. But the show reveals how tangled these things are.

I’m going to try to explain by including examples. Whenever the boys ask to be turned into Kappas, they’re motivated by hope for the other; hope to maintain a connection with another; wishing to fulfill the desires of someone else while forgoing one’s own desires. Kazuki is so consumed by guilt that he tries to fulfill Haruka’s every wish while giving up soccer. Enta tries to repress his own needs as a friend and someone with sexual/romantic feelings for Kazuki and instead tries to devote himself selflessly. And Tooi feels a debt of obligation to his brother who has “done so much for him” that he also gives up on soccer.

On the other hand, the victims of the Otters are all selfish desire. Apparently totally different. The Kappa Zombies want to fulfill romantic/sexual desires. The way the Otters manipulate Reo and Mabu is by trapping them in their desire for one another.

However when Keppi restores himself and reconnects w his desire for despair, the Otters are revealed to be only a construct. They fade away into the wind. Sarazanmai portrays them as being as powerful as the characters allow them to be. Tooi rejects despair after being helped by the Golden Combo and Keppi takes responsibility for his actions, and the Otters dissolve to nothing. (I also think it’s very interesting Otters are portrayed as Godzilla but I digress.)

The framing is that Keppi is what was giving the Otters power. Without his despair, without desire for despair, Otters can’t win. But the two sides of him are ultimately integrated. As the show puts it “hope and despair are both one with life.”

Similarly the show posits that hope for another, love/selflessness, and desire for another, libido/selfishness, are not separate or opposing. Enta and Reo/Mabu show this best, along with the repeated line: “don’t give up on your desires. The future belongs only to those who can connect their desires.”

Reo and Mabu’s characters reveal the close relationship between Kappa and Otter. They were Kappas, and it was all too easy for the Otters to manipulate them. Enta is the only character who is shown to be both a Kappa—doing things for the benefit of another and giving up his own desire—while also being manipulated by an Otter. His desire to help Kazuki is closely intertwined with his desire for Kazuki and so both methods work on him. However Enta ultimately chooses his connection with the real Kazuki over the illusion offered to him.

That’s the show’s answer. Both Keppi and the Otters promise to fulfill your wishes. Keppi is hope that you can connect with someone by fulfilling their desires. The Otters promise to give you what you want to gain control over you. Neither desire or love, supposedly diametrically opposed, are sufficient. Love can become consumption of the other, and desire can go stale into misunderstandings and lies. For instance, Kazuki and Haruka do not understand each other’s perspectives. They both blame themselves and cannot accept that the other loves them. They had to see their brother’s perspective and understand that they both wanted the same thing: to be forgiven and reconnect.

Only by finding a way to connect desires can a person make it to a future where they can be together with the people they love.

[pierrehardy]

China vs America: Europe will decide

In just half of this wretched year, the world’s trust in China was cut in half. The current and crumbling world order is still American built. Or to be more precise, Western-built with American leadership, founded on principles of a liberal and open society. So what happens when a rival rises up to challengethe leader’s might, who is currently not acting like one? A rival that has a different ideology, at that. You get a quake that threatens to crumble the current world order.

On one side is the champion, America. On the other, the challenger, China. Whoever wins is whoever the rest of the world chooses to side with. I argue that the most significant determinant of that is the world’s old champion who still has considerable sway today, which has at least two of the past world leaders: Europe.

Europe and China

Not too long ago, Europe tried to be the diplomatic best-of-both-worlds kind of mediator between China and America. Europe nurtured its long-founded transatlantic alliance with America and was warm towards a growing China. Then came 2020, where China did a three-hit combo on trust. The first one is China’s repression of the Uighur minority in Xinjiang. This systematic act appalled Europeans due to its genocidal nature. The second was the virus, which originated in China. The country’s first response was to cover it up,  which really doesn’t inspire trust. When they vanquished their second wave, China’s obnoxious trumpeting of triumph and crass jumping at the propaganda opportunity left a bad taste in Europeans’ mouths. The third is China’s blatant breaking of the handover treaty between the UK and China regarding Hong Kong’s promised autonomy until 2047. The passage of the national law went above what’s necessary, violating the treaty, and signaling that China puts self-interest above the rule of law. It’s hard to play with a country that does not play nice and fair.

Then there’s America, escalating its campaign to cripple Huawei. This Huawei kerfuffle is catalyzing the decaying relationship between the West and Europe. Europe was initially not as hostile as America towards Huawei. Take the UK, which tried to integrate Huawei into less sensitive parts of its planned 5G network. UK spooks were assigned to thoroughly investigate Huawei’s kit to ensure that there’s nothing suspicious in it. But it was not reassuring when China failed to make it easier for the experts to examine their kit. Perhaps it was serendipitous for the UK to use the US sanctions against Huawei as an excuse to cancel plans to have them build their 5G network. They argue that the sanctions would make Huawei’s supply chains less dependable, increasing the risk that Huawei cannot deliver on its contract. The perfect excuse. 

But this is much bigger than just Huawei and 5G. The main cost is not delaying the adoption of new and crucial technology but in the decaying relationship that would undoubtedly affect trade and technology (I wrote about that in my last blog). Foreign direct investments from China to the EU have already declined by 69% (nice) from its 2016 peak (Figure 1).

Figure 1 [1] 

What to do with China?

Europe shares America’s ideals, so the obvious answer is that they’ll side with America and squash China, right? Well, that would be reckless and risk tearing the world into two. Remember my last blog’s warning about the seeds of world wars? No, China is a growing country that the West cannot change (though they tried to) and cannot ignore. More sensible is to save the current world order and modify it to accommodate, not suppress, an influential authoritarian country.

Many institutions around the world represent this “world order” I keep babbling about. Still, the main one for this topic is the World Trade Organization (WTO), a necessary but limp and frustrating institution. To be fair, maintaining order in the complex world of international trade is a daunting task, especially in this dog-eat-dog capitalist world that’s efficient but mercilessly self-interested and ruthless. Nonetheless, that’s not to excuse the WTO’s failure to adapt to the digital economy and the rise of a more authoritarian Mr. Xi Jinping. So America’s loss of faith towards the WTO is not without cause, but it’s still wrong to abandon it.

Ultimately, everything I will write here will be easier said than done. But it’s good to have goals. The biggest concern about why the West now wants to have some distance from China is how encroaching China’s government is. They have tentacles attached to every company in China. The West, understandably, do not feel comfortable with the presence of the CCP in their territory masked as a private business. 

While that may sound like forcing China to adapt to how they do it in the West, it is a reasonable need. Especially when there’s no excuse not to do it. Take Unilever, a traditionally Western multinational company that grants autonomy to its subsidiaries around the world. Your local Unilever would be hiring local executives that operate on its own, without fear of foreign government interference.

No matter what solution today’s leaders will develop, its efficacy ultimately falls on its execution. This is where I believe Europe comes in. 

Why does it depend on Europe?

Dealing with China requires the West to act together. America is already one country and one country that clarifies what it wants: not to let China be able to do what America is already doing. Hypocritical, I know, but it doesn’t invalidate the need to address China’s growing ambition and methods that goes against the grain of the predominant ideology. 

While it’s easy to dismiss Europe to follow whatever America decides, that’s just not them. The Europeans are a proud bunch with a history of supremacy (take that positively or negatively, up to you). Europe is America’s friend, but they’re no pushover or slave to it. The EU and America have their own bickering, the most significant of which nowadays is the whole antitrust and tax issues with America’s technology giants, mostly the FAANG (Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix, and Alphabet, aka Google). 

It has been one of Europe’s biggest insecurity of not being able to produce technological giants like America has and hates being dependent on said giants. But this lack of giants is a natural result of the EU’s more robust antitrust regulations, which is the legislation that ensures a healthy amount of competition in the market. This goes straight to the heart of one of the new problems that economists have been grappling with: competition and the digital economy (my specialty, yay!)

So let me give you the basics. The digital economy is unlike the normal economy. It doesn’t follow the same rules. I won’t explain my entire degree here, but I’ll tell you what you need to know in the next six paragraphs. For context, first is the importance of healthy competition to ensure that capitalism serves the people (capitalism is not evil, it just needs to be taken care of. Anybody that vilifies capitalism doesn’t understand it enough. It’s a spectrum, aka countries can be both socialist and capitalist as much as China is both capitalist and authoritarian.) Anyways, competition usually means that there are enough companies in a particular market that compete. The main enemy of antitrust regulators are monopolies, which are companies that are alone in a specific market.

Let’s use an example from the Philippines that I personally witnessed. There used to be two ride-hailing firms back then: Grab and Uber. They weren’t a duopoly because they competed: they kept competing with each other by lowering their prices. Filipinos like me enjoyed the cheap rates and being able to choose the app with superior service. Then came Japan’s Softbank, which has stakes in both, and made Uber sell its PH operations to Grab. After that, suddenly, there was only Grab (or at least the only dominant ride-hailing app at that time). Grab quickly took advantage of this monopolistic position and jacked up its taxi rates into ridiculous heights. Here, the government failed to cultivate healthy competition at the expense of us, the consumers. We lost in this situation because we were left with no other choice but this expensive and, subjectively, inferior product. The underlying message is: competition is great for the people. It gives us excellent prices and quality. Without it, we get the short end of the stick.

The second concept is the digital economy, more specifically, network effects. If you read my last blog, you might be groaning on reading about this again, but I have no choice. It’s prevalent. But if you didn’t read my last blog, don’t worry, I’ll explain it again here. 

The rise of computers upended traditional economics. A quick example is that a car used to have many costs to design, then additional costs to actually make a bunch of it to sell. For software, though, there’s many costs to code a program but costs almost nothing to replicate it. Traditional economics would say that the price of that good is zero dollars, but that’s not right, is it? Pricing code, or ideas, or information, or data, or whatever you want to call this intangible good, is trickier. Data is just a bunch of ones and zeros, but god damn is it a valuable set of ones and zeros. That’s even how you “pay” for free services, right? With your personal data.

Pricing digital goods is one thing, but the focus is in the nature of its value. Digital goods usually exhibit network effects, which means it gets more valuable if it has more users, and subsequently, more data. More data, more input to make the product better. Knead this point another way. It means that the best digital companies have a monopoly, or at least a duo or oligopoly, of the market to suck up all that data for their taking. This implies a complete 180 turn from the whole monopoly-is-evil (it still is) thing. For example, a streaming service is only excellent if it has all the shows, right? It’s pretty shitty to have to subscribe to multiple services just to watch all the shows you like. So for a user, the ideal would be that only one streaming service that has everything. That’s why digital products usually have one or two dominant brands in every field. Streaming? Netflix. Music? Spotify. Online shopping? Amazon. Search? Google. Phones? Apple or Android. The reason why Google Maps is so useful is that everyone uses it and makes it better. The reason why Facebook is (was) engaging is that all your friends are in it. So you get the point: to make tech giants, you need to rethink antitrust regulation. 

Let me make it clear though, this is quite a dilemma for economists. Because while we discovered that digital goods of monopolistic companies benefit consumers the most, it still holds that companies can abuse this dominant position. This winner-takes-all outcome is risky for innovation and for everyone. Currently, we’re still hashing out clear rules and guides on how to balance this delicate tradeoff. We’re not there yet, but it is what it is as of the moment. 

So let’s take it back to Europe. Compared to America, antitrust in Europe is much more robust. Where America only has 4 major (and 2 minor) mobile networks (Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile, and Sprint), Europe as a whole has 5 major mobile networks but with more than a hundred minor ones. This granted Europeans cheaper data plans than America, and the speed quality is basically the same (Figure 2). Good for European consumers, but not for European telecommunications companies. This same story applies to other industries.

Figure 2 [2] 

So Europe’s lack of tech giants is caused by healthy competition that’s great for its citizens. But this opens up the fear of lagging behind the rest of the advanced world technologically. Can’t have it all, it seems. But here’s where we connect it back to China: since the whole Huawei thing is about 5G, plenty of Europe’s short-term reactions have to do with their insecurities about lagging behind in the 5G arena.

So let’s talk about that. I think my blog is getting too long to explain what 5G is, so I’ll leave that for you to Google or YouTube. But basically, 5G is the next generation of 4G that promises 100 (!!!) times faster than 4G. For ordinary people, you don’t need that much. We’re okay with 4G for our daily needs. But that insane speed would enable the next generation of technology such as the Internet of Things or autonomous driving, which requires the back and forth of enormous amounts of data in real-time. But the more important feature of 5G is its ability to reconfigure the network for tailored needs. Taking advantage of this is still in development, and profitable business models to take leverage of this is yet to be born. So if there’s no big rush, we can hope that other companies can step up, like Nokia, Ericson, or Samsung. Or better yet: open standards regarding 5G could be developed, forgoing the need for proprietary kits.

Another possible good news for European network operators is that this 5G insecurity might be just the thing for European antitrust to acknowledge the need to ease competition requirements for some tech companies. This could allow for European tech giants to sprout, but knowing Europe, this will be heavily deliberated.

So, in short, I would say that there’s no time pressure and rush for adoption. In this part of the equation, Europe can afford to delay its 5G progress and ditch Huawei to make their networks a bit more secure. China’s retaliation, however, is another thing. This brings us to the final point of this write-up and one of the most significant factors affecting how the West will respond to China: Germany. Or, more precisely, Mrs. Angela Merkel.

Merkel and China

To have a unified response to China requires not only transatlantic cooperation but also European cooperation. It’s hard to talk about EU decisions without singling out Germany, especially regarding trade. In general, Mrs. Angela Merkel’s personal political conviction embodies old Europe’s view on China. Mrs. Merkel has always been warm with China and, in its essence, personifies this blog’s proposal to adjust for China. Mrs. Merkel has always wanted to include China into the world stage by wishing for its involvement in matters requiring global cooperation like climate change or writing the rules of governance regarding AI.

Being the economic-minded leader that she is, Mrs. Merkel is well respected and admired by most of us liberal economists. It’s no surprise that under her, Germany is the EU’s economic powerhouse, and it’s also no surprise why she’s cautious with relations with China. The difference between the West’s last superpower rival with differing ideologies, the USSR, is that China is a trade heavyweight. China’s market is vast and lucrative. However, China has also shown too much willingness to bully any country that dare go against it, weaponizing its trade heft to inflict economic damage. Now, if you notice, I keep saying “Mrs. Merkel” instead of “Germany.” This is because a sizable proportion of German politicians and businessmen have been turned off by China nowadays, and views Mrs. Merkel’s caution with China to be subservience to the bully. Even within Mrs. Merkel’s own party, this cowing to China has grown unacceptable, and they have a reason for that.

First, let’s see a snapshot of Germany’s exports (Figure 3). China is Germany’s 3rd largest trading partner. With America and China having a spat, of course, the best thing to do is be friends with everyone. But when it comes down to only choosing one, America would be the bigger trading partner. One thing to note is that most of their exports, which is Germany’s specialty in general, are high value-adding manufacturing products like cars, appliances, and machines.

Figure 3 [3]

Then came Mr. Xi Jinping’s Made in China 2025 initiative. If it wasn’t apparent at first, perhaps when Midea, a Chinese company, acquired Kuka, a German robotics firm, in 2016 was the wake-up call: China is trying to have Germany’s main competitive advantage, by also building to have a high value adding manufacturing industry. This turns China from partner to competitor. 

German businessmen have also been finding China as an unfavorable business partner. Figure 4 shows a survey from the German Chamber of Commerce in China. It shows at least a quarter of companies planning to stop doing business in China. Several reports cite the unacceptable terms that China demands on business partners, most notably in forced technology transfer. It certainly feels less of a partnership and more of an arrangement for taking advantage of. Put this in the context of the Made in China 2025, and this can be a serious threat for German exports.

Figure 4 [4] 

All in all, let’s go back to the point of China’s lucrative market. While it’s easy to see the reason for distancing from China, it’s also worth noting that German companies make a killing in China. Volkswagen earns a whopping 40% of its revenue there.

So cutting relations with China is not the key. Instead, a mere rebalancing is direly needed. Taking it from Thorsten Benner of the Global Public Policy Institute in Berlin, Germany must build a wholly European 5G infrastructure, team up more with countries that share the same ideology (like South Korea or Australia), and advise German companies that they will no longer enjoy the same amount of political cover than before. Time to stop getting played and level things between the two countries.

As trust towards China declines, Chinese diplomats, dubbed the wolf warriors, have been active in a tongue lashing at every criticism. They would always retort that these anti-China sentiments are supposedly rooted in a colonial and racist mentality.  However, it’s undeniable that China also bears a considerable part of the blame for the blossoming mistrust against them. From the way they do business partnerships, to the economic bullying, to the inconsistent transparency on COVID-19 reporting, to the repression of Hong Kongers, to the suppression of Uighurs, to the territorial bullying of neighbors, to the lack of concrete reassurance that they don’t spy with their products, to the inability to take criticism, and others.

No country is perfect (I can list the same amount of American faults). But it’s the number of blunders in such a short amount of time that brought the trust down (people generally have short term memory and attention, but this was just too fast and too furious.) It was a trade-off between taking advantage of a global pandemic and seeming untrustworthy. I trust China to have seen this possibility and took calculated actions. But one doesn’t have to resort to such actions to assert one’s presence in the world stage. Europe tried to be warm to both the East and the West, but everyone has their limits.

References

[1]https://rhg.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/MERICS-Rhodium-Group_COFDI-Update-2020-2.pdf 

[2]https://www.fiercewireless.com/wireless/u-s-mobile-broadband-among-most-expensive-world-new-report-finds 

[3] The Observatory of Economic Complexity: https://oec.world/ 

[4]https://china.ahk.de/fileadmin/AHK_China/Market_Info/Economic_Data/BCS_2019_20.SEC.pdf 

[lonepiper5758]

Long long ago, @ladywiltshire​ tagged me in an 11 Things Tag and I really wanted to reply, so here goes. Thanks for the tag! and sorry for my extreme tardiness.

1. Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression?

I saw 2003 first and even on first viewing I thought it was a bit “story of the week” and the overarching story was developed in a piecemeal fashion. This was not helped by the fact that life was very stressful and I’d often drop off to sleep for a bit during the episode. :-/ But I still thought it was pretty good.

Then Second Son learned of Brotherhood and persuaded me that it was even better so I watched it and was BLOWN AWAY!  The brilliant story arcs, the amazing and believable characters, the complexity of the world, beautiful artwork, flawless animation, fantastic music, arghhh….. just W*O*W!!!

So now I am finally reading the Manga and the learning all the stuff that was left out of Brotherhood and being blown away by this amazing work all over again.

2.  Tell us about The Fave™.

I’m really torn between Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye as The Fave™. And can you have one without the other? But today I’ll say Roy Mustang. He’s this great balance of power and dorkishness. And that’s part of his appeal because a character who is constantly epically badass is boring. I also think he’s appealing because as a leader he’s motived by his desire to protect those around him, and not to exercise power over them. And that makes his relationships with other characters far more meaningful.

He is heroic and flawed and there’s so much we don’t know about him, and how his values developed which ads a layer of intrigue. I just want to sit down and have coffee with him and generally offer to help out with any plans he has going at the moment.

Source: hisokan

3.  Do you have a favourite fan work? Fanfics? Comics?

The works of “That Hoopy Frood” (That_Hoopy_Frood) on AO3 impress me hugely. And Elena’s @theysangastheyslew art constantly amazes me with the way she can pack it with narrative and character.

Then there are so many shards of brilliance floating across my dash I’m hesitant to start listing people for fear of omitting some. Suffice to say I hold my mutuals in very high esteem.

4.Hit me with an analysis/opinion you have on the series or characters!

Now I suspect others have said this but, I think that the energy to transmute matter, or at to least to start the reaction, originates directly from the alchemist performing the transmutation. This explains why just about every alchemist we see is pretty lean. Performing alchemy consumes energy and burns body fat.

This is why Colonel Mustang is often napping when he should be doing paperwork.

In the case of Edward Elric, performing alchemy from such a young age has contributed to his underdeveloped stature. As a result of less alchemy/fighting during the months immediately preceding the Promised Day, he was able to grow a bit.

As to other analysis, I have been known to go on a bit about Episode 19.

(Just wanted a gif with Riza. :) )

5. Tell us about a project you have going on! Or if you don’t have one, maybe something you’ve always wanted to write or draw?

No big projects. I’m trying to finish a few things in my WIP folder, all of which are likely to be pretty short. I’m always torn between thinking my writing is waffling on and not pithy, and then wondering why I write short one chapter things?

I’m planning to have a go at Royai Week 2017, even though I suspect I’ll crash and burn because -

Not sure how I’ll go responding to prompts.

I think I write quite slowly.

Life will probably flare up and get in the way.

6.  Favourite opening/ending number and why?

I really love the animation in a few opening/ending credits, but for the combo with the music my favourites are -

Opening 1 “Again” by YUI - great song, heaps of energy and nice synergy in the editing. Love the bit where Ed and Al start unraveling. (And of course the now infamous “Harder Colonel”.)

Ending 4 “Shunkan Sentimental” by SCANDAL. - again I like the song and I like the visual of travelling through the tunnel.

7. Tell me about a scene that really touched your or made you realize something about yourself.

A scene that always hurts is just after Bradley murders Martel while she is inside Alphonse. How Alphonse is just sitting there in a pool of Martel’s blood. For a young man who is so compassionate and caring to be so powerless to help and to have the trauma of her lifeless body cleaned out from inside him. It always says something to me of how there is a cost when we try to help. 

Showing genuine care and compassion will cost you, so be prepared.

8. OTPs! Who are they? Why are you WEAK FOR THEM??

OK, so as mentioned above in Q2 Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye are The Fave™ so no surprise that OTP = Royai! 

The obvious care, trust, understanding, dedication, fondness and just everything they have for each other, of course they love each other, that’s part of the package. It’s all the stronger because they don’t get to be smooching and holding hands. Their relationship, with all its pragmatism and unspoken truths is the result of intentional choices and not transient feelings. There is a maturity about them and they stick together no matter what is thrown at them. 

At this point I’m going to melt just thinking about them and rely on quoting a post by @mylieutenant because I think she says it so well.

“The thing with Roy and Riza is that they don’t have to get sexual, romantic, or even touch each other at all, for it to be clear they have chosen each other as partners in a common goal for a long term, possibly for life. In this partnership there’s trust, respect, communication, affection, and even need.

This much is established in the series. So, does the fact that there’s no conventional sign of courtship make this ship any less canon?”

9. Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go!

This is vain but I think a funny hc is one I put forth about Major Armstrong - 

“Major Alex Louis Armstrong personally employs a group of tailors who work endlessly to re-supply him with uniforms and other clothes after he rips them off.  Homeless people in Central who find his discarded clothing use the fabric to build temporary shelters.”

Remembering that I am Tumblr sub-atomic - this one post seemed to double my followers in one afternoon????

10. What spurred you to join the fandom?

WelI… I really like FMA and one bored day about a year ago I thought, I want to look at pictures of Mustang. (This is possibly unusual for my demographic, but hey, so what!)  So I googled and somehow ended up reading some FMA fanfics on AO3 and I thought “Jeeze! You can do this??!! I wanna try!!”

So I started having a go at writing and posted a couple of stories on AO3. Then reading stories on AO3 and some folks referenced things on Tumblr. It seemed Tumblr might be a fun place for discussion and to share stories. So I very tentatively wandered into Tumblr-land and have found a really cool corner filled with friendly, creative, helpful people.

And if that fits the definition of “join the fandom” that’s it!

11. Definitely the same question… have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much!

Yeah? Why do I love this show so much? Sometimes I catch myself fangirling in my mind over Roy Mustang and then I think, hang on, this a fictional character and I’m 20 years his senior, so just grow up and calm down. Then I see a screen cap or something and I’m thinking good god he’s fantastic. Is it just that he’s a good looking representation of a bunch of interesting and admirable character qualities? Is it the combination of character and narrative? What?? Why am I like this?? There is No Hope. I am lost!

So there’s my answers. I really enjoyed thinking this through. Thanks again for the tag.  I’m not tagging ‘cos it was soo long ago….  Thanks if you’ve read this and happy day to you. :)

[componentplanet]

Hands On With the New DJI Mavic Air 2

While those of us who are loyal Mavic Pro users will have to wait a bit before “the 3” comes out, in the meantime DJI has introduced a tantalizingly feature-rich successor to the Mavic Air. The Mavic Air 2 ($799) upgrades just about every aspect of the original and even has a few features that go beyond what the Mavic Pro 2 can do. We were fortunate enough to get an early review unit and have access to a safe area to fly while sheltering-in-place, so we got it up in the air to check it out.

DJI’s Mavic Air 2 by the Numbers

Reading the camera specs on the Air 2, it’d be easy to think you’d mistakenly wandered into a smartphone launch. Basically, the photo and video capabilities are now, at least on paper, on a par with flagship smartphones. The camera features a 1/2-inch-format 48MP Quad-Bayer that is normally in a “binned” 12MP mode. It’s the first Mavic that can record 4K video at 60fps (up to 120Mbps), and also offers 4x and 8x slow-motion recording at 1080p, as well as an HDR video mode. There is the usual array of QuickShot modes and support for both RAW stills and a D-Cinelike video color profile. There is also an 8K Hyperlapse mode that supports either Free or Waypoint flying, which should be a lot of fun. The Air 2 has 8GB of internal storage available, and a microSD card slot. Both it and the remote have mercifully moved to USB-C for charging.

On the computational imaging front, the Air 2 adds many of the tricks we’re now used to seeing in phones. It can perform automated multi-frame HDR by combining seven frames, and it has a low-light, multi-frame, mode called Hyperlight. It also has some scene recognition AI built-in for custom processing based on the type of subject. An HDR Panorama mode fills in an important hole for those of us who’ve had to literally stitch together workflow for that task ourselves. All this fits into a sleek, 570-gram folding package that is smaller than the Mavic Pro, although probably not enough to switch unless you need its other features.

Speaking of features, like the Air, the Air 2 lacks a USB-A port for easy cabling to a tablet or phone, so you’re stuck relying on DJI’s own solution. Personally, I’ve found their attempt to provide low-profile short cables that tuck into the remote more trouble than they’re worth, and so far I feel the same way about the one used in the Air 2’s remote. Yes, the cable can be hidden inside the remote, but it is barely long enough to use with a large phone, and fairly tricky to get plugged and unplugged. The Air 2’s remote does put the phone at the top of the remote, for better visibility and balance, which is nice. But, because the clamps are on the sides of the phone, you need to be really careful that you don’t position your phone so that the remote presses one of its buttons.

Flying the Mavic Air 2

The Air 2 has a redesigned electronics and battery system that bumps its quoted flight time to a maximum of 34 minutes. In my limited testing, it certainly does seem to stay up longer before you need to start worrying. One thing I learned from the press materials is that apparently drones (at least DJI’s) use more power while hovering than moving. I wouldn’t have guessed that (and I suspect a lot depends on how fast you’re flying). The Air 2 has obstacle sensors forward, rear, and down, but unfortunately not up or sideways. One feature I found annoying is that it complains often and loudly when you are near anything. In my case, taking off from my front yard I have either trees or the house within about 20 feet in any direction, so the remote squawks loudly until I get up and over the treetops.

You fly the Air 2 using DJI’s newer flight app, DJI Fly. It does a much better job of hand-holding you through various settings and modes (although the incessant video popups can also prove tiresome). It also doesn’t offer all the same options (at least in its current form) as the more traditional DJI Go app. In my case, I also do a lot of flying with the third-party app Litchi, especially pre-planned routes. Litchi supports the original Air, so I assume they’ll also be supporting the Air 2. One impressive-sounding new feature of the Air 2 is APAS 3.0 obstacle avoidance. As long as you’re not shooting something trickier than 4K @ 30 fps, APAS will try to route you around obstacles. This wasn’t the sort of feature I wanted to test with the review unit, but it sounds promising.

The Air 2 also comes with an upgraded system, OcuSync 2.0, for communications between the drone and the remote. It is rated at a theoretical maximum range of 10 km. The next sentence says to keep the drone within sight, for what it’s worth. Anecdotally, in the limited area I’ve been able to fly it safely given current travel restrictions, the connection was rock solid and the video quality was excellent. Unfortunately, like the Air, the remote for the Air 2 doesn’t have an LCD. I often find myself looking at the LCD for my Mavic Pro drones, as it can be easier to read in the sun and more than once my phone app has gone sideways and I’ve had to fly the drone using the remote’s display.

The great news is that the Air 2 is fun to fly, extremely stable, and very responsive. You can see the upgraded stability when using the unit’s built-in cinematic modes. This orbit was performed automatically, and tracks the object more accurately while moving more stably than the same orbit I did when reviewing the original Air:

QuickShot Video Gallery

After some basic flight tests, I wanted to see how well the QuickShot modes performed. Orbit worked really well, and is a nice improvement in image quality and stability over the original Air.

Given the rather strict stay-at-home order locally, I wasn’t able to come up with any super-interesting subjects for testing the Air 2’s other QuickShot modes, but I was able to record examples of three of them that I aimed at the “Field Closed” sign in a park near my house. Personally I liked the Boomerang best, although it didn’t track the saw horse perfectly. I wasn’t that inspired by the others, but then again I use Litchi software for pre-planned shots. Certainly, these QuickShot modes are better than what most drone pilots can do when flying manually.

Rocket was the first one I tried. Seemed fine, but not all that exciting:

Dronie is very similar:

Boomerang was pretty cool, but seemed to lose track of the subject towards the end. It would be hard to duplicate using pre-planned waypoints, so that adds to its value:

DJI’s AirSense Brings ADS-B to a Consumer Drone

The Air 2 is DJI’s first consumer drone with AirSense. That allows it to receive ADS-B signals from other aircraft and alert the drone operator if there is an aircraft nearby that might be of concern — as well as showing the aircraft’s location. Now, this sounds pretty cool, but I’m not sure how much difference it will make in real life for most people. In my case, when traveling to remote locations, we’re often flying near where planes land on the beach or on dirt roads, so it might prove useful. Seldom-used airstrips or Helipads might be another environment where it might be valuable. Note that this is a receive-only capability. The Air 2 doesn’t transmit ADS-B. Also, due to supply chain issues, initially only the North American units will have AirSense. Other geographies will start getting it over time.

Is the Mavic Air 2 the Right Drone for You?

If you want to get the most drone you can for under $1,000, the Air 2 is an impressive option. At $799 for the drone (pre-orders are being accepted now, and US shipments should start by mid-May) and remote, or $988 for the Fly-More combo pack, it gets you in the game for substantially less than the Pro 2. If, like me, you have existing Mavic Pro or Pros, the choice is less clear. While the Air 2 is smaller and has a lot of improvements over the original Pro, it doesn’t have an LCD on the remote and uses the slightly stripped-down DJI Fly app. So if you’re not in a huge hurry, it may pay to wait and see what the Pro 3 will eventually offer.

[Video Credits: David Cardinal]

Now Read:

DJI’s New Mavic Air Combines the Best of the Spark, Mavic Pro

Review: Flying DJI’s New Mavic Mini Portable Drone

DJI Mavic 2 Pro Field-Tested: A Winning Upgrade

  from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/mobile/309720-hands-on-review-with-the-new-dji-mavic-air-2 from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2020/05/hands-on-with-new-dji-mavic-air-2.html

[entergamingxp]

fun fighting let down by a bare-bones launch • Eurogamer.net

Bleeding Edge poses a question I hadn’t considered before: what if the combat from Devil May Cry met Overwatch? A modestly-sized development team at Ninja Theory, spearheaded by DmC Devil May Cry combat designer Rahni Tucker, has worked for the past four years to come up with an answer. The result is a mixed bag. Bleeding Edge is, fundamentally, a fun experience, but it is a tad bland. And this launch on Xbox One and PC feels bare-bones, to put it lightly.

Bleeding Edge

Developer: Ninja Theory

Publisher: Xbox Game Studios

Platform: Reviewed on PC

Availability: Out now on Xbox One and PC

Here’s the setup: two teams of four work together to knock lumps out of each other while fighting for control points or, in the second of the two available game modes, energy canisters. There are 11 characters at launch, categorised into one of three roles: damage, support or tank, and already just two days after Bleeding Edge’s release that doesn’t feel like enough. The diverse roster of augmented heroes (augmentation is a theme, here) is made up of a few Overwatch-alikes and a handful of really quite impressive designs, all drenched in a sort of Borderlands meets ’90s sci-fi aesthetic that rekindles memories of hazy summers spent listening to Garbage. One of the characters is called Zero Cool, a nod to Jonny Lee Miller’s character of the same name from that most wonderfully crap mid-90s cyber thriller, Hackers.

I find myself gravitating towards a few of the characters in particular, the ones that work a little differently to the rank and file. Maeve is a granny (you don’t see many older women in video games – nice one Ninja Theory!) from Wicklow, Ireland, who is a cyber witch ranged assassin who rides a hovering bauble. The trick with Maeve is to perfectly time her traps and land killing blows, the latter of which resets her abilities. Struggle with this and Maeve’s a lightweight. But if you can dip in and out of combat, snatching last hit after last hit, she’s a beast.

On the support side, I enjoy playing as Kulev, who is – and stick with me here – a Voodoo-loving dead professor from Cambridge University whose soul was digitised and reborn into an automated snake that is now the arm of the mummified corpse of the aforementioned dead professor from Cambridge University. He was born in South Cheam, according to his bio. I know of no other video game characters who were born in South Cheam.

On the battlefield, Kulev is a ranged support who uses curses and boons to heal and deal damage. He’s not as direct a healer as fellow support character Zero Cool, but I find him more versatile and, well, cooler.

As far as the tanks go, I have a soft spot for half motorbike girl Buttercup (her “get over here” chain ability is fun to land but hardly inspired design). Makutu, a hulking New Zealander who sacrifices an evade for the ability to switch stances between one that constantly regenerates health, or one that increases movement speed, is more interesting to play. And this is the thing about Bleeding Edge: it is only occasionally interesting. Most of the time it feels one-note.

I’m sure many will be put off by how shallow Bleeding Edge appears to feel during its initial couple of hours. This is a third-person combat game with auto-targeting and just one attack button, which you mash for a melee character’s solitary combo, or hold down to auto-attack as a ranged character (you spend a lot of time pressing X in Bleeding Edge). Each character has just three specials, and you pick one super from a choice of two before heading into a match. It’s pretty limited.

As a result, it feels like your success is determined mostly by your team composition. In reality this is a sort of hit or miss situation. Most of the time players will pick a nice spread of roles – a tank, two damage dealers and a healer, perhaps – but without a role queue you inevitably find yourself paired with a team who refuses to deviate from the ultra popular damage dealers – despite the in-game warning that pops up if you fail to pick a support character.

A zombie from South Cheam. I always knew south of the river was dead cool.

Bleeding Edge also warns that communication is key, and it’s true that if you’re playing with people who stick together, you have a much higher chance of winning. Winning is of course fun! But when you’re in a team of players who do not stick together, Bleeding Edge can feel like pulling teeth. Voice comms are on by default, but you rarely hear anyone speak. Usefully, there’s a ping system, but in my experience it’s rarely used. Bleeding Edge does not suffer lone wolves gladly. If you get caught on your lonesome by more than one enemy player, you’re done for. Bleeding Edge has a sort of MOBA feel in that teamfights are super important and chasing down enemies who try to escape can make all the difference. Target the healers first, then burn down the rest.

However, I’ve found the more you play Bleeding Edge, the more you start to notice there’s a little bit more to combat than that. Team composition is incredibly important, yes, but with the power of mods you can tweak how your character works to re-jig their role slightly. Mod Kulev’s area of effect special so that it does bonus damage, and you turn this support character into something of a shadow priest. Buttercup has a mod that adds an ally buff to her Oil Slick ability, which is by default an area of effect slow. I don’t want to overstate the impact of mods – they can only take you so far. But they do increase the playstyle options per character, which is nice.

Spacing and smart movement is key – and it’s here Bleeding Edge feels most like a MOBA. Moving as a group to interrupt, ambush or swarm the enemy is a tricky thing to achieve in Bleeding Edge, but it’s doable. Don’t fancy that fight? Keep at a safe distance while waiting for backup. Reckon you’re in decent shape to get stuck in? Ping your team and go for it. Retreating is a big part of Bleeding Edge, too. There’s a significant cooldown on your respawn, and given your team is made up of just four characters, staying alive can make all the difference. If Bleeding Edge has a skill gap, it’ll be found in the quiet spaces between the action.

Some of the maps have environmental hazards, such as trains that kill you if they hit you. They are sneaky bastards.

Bleeding Edge also has a parry, which is actually pretty tricky to time when the fights spit out virtual pyrotechnics onto your camera. Mechanically, there’s a good reason why you’d want to use the parry: unlike the evade, the parry does not consume stamina. You can only dodge out of harm’s way for so long, but you can parry forever – assuming you’re good enough.

The problem, though, is the parry doesn’t feel worth the risk of going for it. You can only parry while you’re standing still – in a game that feels like it revolves around keeping on the move that feels stifling. And the effect it causes on your opponent is slight – they’re pushed back a bit. The parry is a deflect, really. It’s not a counter, and I wonder if it should have been, given how hard it is to do in a standard match. It would have been cool to let the characters parry while depositing energy into a collection point. Imagine how cool you’d feel deflecting an interrupt from an enemy while calmly scoring points for your team? That would be some sick 90s Neo stuff right there – and help those who are good enough to parry feel like they can do something most players can’t.

Bleeding Edge’s paltry parry sums up the combat, really. It’s fine. It’s inoffensive. It jabs rather than haymakers. Most of the supers lack spectacle, although I have to admit Nidhoggr’s Ride the Lightning super, which stuns all nearby enemies with an epic guitar solo, hits the right note. Ultimately, though, the bludgeoning in Bleeding Edge is mostly monotonous.

Bleeding Edge has a more pressing problem, though. It has released in such a bare bones state that it feels like a soft launch rather than a full release. Bleeding Edge has just two game modes and already they’re starting to feel old. The power cell collecting and depositing mode is quite obviously weaker than the standard control mode, and I wince whenever the game puts me in it. There are a handful of maps but they all look and feel similar. Mekko, the dolphin who pilots a fishbowl crab mech via a Japanese AI, was supposed to be in the game at launch but is now down as coming soon. There is no ranked play and no meaningful progression system. As you play you level up your profile and your character, but only with the purpose of unlocking mods and earning credits for cosmetics. Ninja Theory has promised Bleeding Edge does not and will not have microtransactions, which I find surprising, but what’s in the game to unlock at launch is uninspiring. There are different board types, stickers for your board and board trails to buy with virtual credits, but I’m more interested in the character skins. Ah – there are just two per character and they’re palette swaps! The emotes are fun but, again, there are only a few to unlock per character. Some characters only have one emote to unlock.

Bleeding Edge is about carefree scraps with a few pals you just met against some random chancers, not unlike a night out in Cheam, actually. Hit FIGHT and the game finds you a match with as little fuss as possible. Hopefully you’re playing with people who stick together, rather than waddle off like some maddening toddler speeding towards their inevitable doom. Rinse and repeat, the hidden rating system (hopefully) working behind the scenes to huddle players of similar skill level together. If you lose – oh well, you get a completion bonus, some experience points and a handful of credits. Win and you get a few more. Do I think Game Pass and the Lockdown (both of which sound like characters in the game) will carry Bleeding Edge till the summer? The combat is just about good enough to get away with it for now, but without some meaningful updates I’ll probably lose interest sooner rather than later.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/03/fun-fighting-let-down-by-a-bare-bones-launch-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fun-fighting-let-down-by-a-bare-bones-launch-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

[seanmalatesta]

Can the iPad Pro Replace Your Laptop?

My 21-Day Experiment

From the day Steve Jobs first introduced the iPad in 2010, I was hooked—at least in theory. The promise of a small, ultraportable tablet was a dream come true. I saw the potential immediately. Unfortunately, it never worked out for me in practice.

I bought every iPad ever produced (with the exception of the iPad Pro 12″), hoping Apple could finally deliver on its promise. Don’t get me wrong: these machines were amazing, especially for consuming media. Whether reading on the Kindle app, catching up on my RSS feeds, or watching videos, the iPad provided a delightful experience.

But I am a content creator. I need a machine for creating content, not just consuming it. That’s where the iPad fell short for me—until now.

Apple introduced its new iPad Pro 10.5″ at its WorldWide Developers Conference (WWDC) on June 5, 2017. I watched the demo and—like Charlie Brown hoping that Lucy would not pull the football out from under him—I ordered one.

I got the 256 GB version without built-in cellular. Within two weeks, I returned it to Apple and traded it for the cellular version. It’s a no-brainer. For a little bit more, you can have almost continuous access to the Internet without having to futz around with logging into a local network.

The specs are impressive. As you would expect, it is the fastest, thinnest iPad ever. The screen is especially impressive. It sports a 120 Hz refresh rate and is 50 percent brighter than the earlier models.

If you use the Apple Pencil, there is almost zero lag time. I literally forget I’m writing on a screen. It also provides “fast charge support.” If you are using the 29W charger (sold separately), it can cut your battery charging time to less than half.

But how does it work in real life—especially for someone who creates content for a living?

Gail and I spent three weeks in Italy this summer. Rather than lug my MacBook Pro around, I decided to take my new iPad Pro and a Smart Keyboard. This was my first time to use my iPad as my primary computer. I thought it would be an interesting experiment.

Without a doubt, it took me a few days to adjust. But here are five things I loved about using the iPad Pro as my primary computer.

1. Plenty of Computing Power

The new iPad Pro is powered by Apple’s own A10X processor. It is surprisingly fast—the equal of most laptops. This is especially noticeable when coupled with the iPad’s ProMotion display.

Scrolling and animations are buttery-smooth. You’ll also experience virtually no lag when using the Apple Pencil. It’s almost the same experience as writing on paper—a big improvement from just the last iPad model.

2. Super Light and Thin

My cellular iPad Pro weighs just 1.05 pounds. This is ridiculously light. And it fits nearly anywhere. This may not sound like much, but it is one-third the weight of my MacBook Pro with Touch Bar.

It also doesn’t require a large computer bag, because the power supply and accessories are so minimal. In fact, you might not need a separate bag at all. Nevertheless, I bought a beautiful Everki Venue Mini-Messener bag, which is just about the perfect bag ever designed. It is super low profile and the iPad Pro fits in it perfectly. It has room for all the other items I normally carry, including my Full Focus Planner™.

3. Improved Keyboard

I could never type accurately on the iPad’s software keyboard. It might be fine for typing a word here and there but didn’t work for serious content creation. I was constantly missing the keys. And, of course, there was no tactile feedback. I tried the Smart Keyboard for the iPad Pro 9.7, but it too didn’t quite work. It just felt too cramped.

However, the Smart Keyboard for the 10.5″ machine is excellent. The difference in size between the iPad 9.7″ this one may not seem like much, but it makes all the difference in the usability of the keyboard. It feels almost full-size, unlike the one for the 9.7 iPad.

By the way, I also tried the Logitech Slim Combo. On the surface, it seems vastly superior to the Smart Keyboard. It is backlit and has function keys on the top row. It also provides for multiple viewing angles. But in practice, I found it to be too bulky. It actually feels larger than my MacBook Pro.

In fact, it weighs 1.41 lbs.—50 percent more than the iPad Pro itself. The iPad Pro and the keyboard weigh in at 2.46 lbs. Not all that much, but you might as well take a MacBook (2.03 lbs.) or a MacBook Pro (3.02 lbs.).

4. Game-Changing Operating System

Without question, iOS 11 is Apple’s biggest iOS upgrade ever. I ran it for almost two months before it was released publicly, so I really got to put it through its paces. It feels much more familiar to people who, like me, work on a desktop Mac almost all day.

You can now select from up to fifteen apps on the new Dock, which is always just a swipe away. It looks—and works—just like the desktop Dock we all know and love.

You can run more than one task on screen. It’s called a Workspace. You could do this before, but it was clunky. I could never remember how to do it in iOS 10. The implementation in iOS 11 is much more intuitive. You can even add a third app via Slide Over, though, to be honest, I haven’t found much use for this.

You can Command-Tab between open apps just like on your Apple desktop or laptop. You can even Command-Tab between Workspaces. You can also select apps or workspaces with the new Multitasking Switcher, which also displays the control center.

You can manage files using the new Files app. It brings all your files together in one place, including those from Dropbox, Google Drive, and iCloud. Unfortunately, it doesn’t yet support Google Team Drives, which our company uses, but I am sure it’s only a matter of time before that happens.

5. Mobile Apps on Par with Desktop

It had been a while since I used an iPad for anything more than occasionally consuming media. I was pleasantly surprised that all my favorite desktop apps were available on iOS with power and feature parity.

Whether it’s Slack, Mail, Fantastical, FullContact, Ulysses, Workflowy, Nozbe, Day One, or even Facebook, they were a delight to use. In fact, some apps—Day One and Facebook, for example—I like better on the iPad than on the desktop.

The one noticeable exception is Evernote. The new mobile app is definitely an improvement over the old one, but it has not yet achieved feature parity with its desktop big brother. Most notably, you can’t create tables on the iPad app. This is a big frustration for me, as I make heavy use of tables. Also, it doesn’t preserve any tag hierarchy you might be using in the desktop version.

What’s the Verdict?

Was there anything I didn’t like? Well, not really. It exceeded my expectations on nearly all fronts. It’s a beautiful machine coupled with an elegant operating system.

Having said that, I don’t see myself going “iPad-only” like my friend, Michael Sliwinski. I still plan to use my iMac and MacBook Pro at home. But on the road? Absolutely.

For the work I do, there’s no real reason to lug around the extra weight and peripherals associated with a laptop.

Question: Have you ever tried to go “iPad-only”? What did you discover? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

from Michael Hyatt, Your Virtual Mentor http://ift.tt/2k69Rrr via IFTTT