#this is stupid writing XD

[giantkillerjack]

See, this is why no one invites Doctor Fate to parties.

sigmund freud? in my 1998 young justice? it’s more likely than you think!

[brightest-star2]

The Four Herberts of the Apocalypse

(in celebration of Medic's legal first name)

[dreamsinmoonlight]

May I lay my head on Adams lap?

(I should be asleep and DEFINITELY should do the three other asks but I like me some stupid fluff with my stupid man so sure, have this before I fall unconscious because it's like almost midnight here)

Adam let out a snort as you plopped down next to him and opened his mouth to say something he would swear was witty or cool, because he was Adam the Dick Master and he was entirely both of those things. But his train of thought was derailed most effectively as you moved sideways and he suddenly found your head resting in his lap.

He was, for once in existence, speechless and just stared at you for a good few moments with wide eyes, as if trying to figure out what was going on. Finally, and with far more deliberation than that brain of his was really normally capable of, he spoke carefully, "Babe? You alright?"

"Shut up and be my pillow," you mumbled, your eyes closed. God he could be noisy and you just wanted to rest.

God knew when He made Adam He'd made the comfiest living pillow. The robe was a nice plus, it was soft and silky, but honestly you were usually just as happy to just lay your head straight into those squishy thighs. He wasn't bony in any way whatsoever, a plus in your book, and he was usually pretty warm on top of that. All together 10/10, would recommend as a cushion if you happened to have a long day or just wanted a good nap.

You didn't need to look up to know he was pouting; he hated it when you told him to shut up but after multiple discussions about the fact you meant it with love and not contempt, he had eventually gotten that. But he still pouted, because he was still Adam. You listened to him grumble and you thought up caught some choice words but whatever they were were pointless and quickly lost.

He started playing with your hair after all and that wasn't playing fair. Your head in your favorite lap, your idiot favorite angel playing with your hair? It was a combination you were absolutely powerless against and he knew it damnit. That was probably the point, his little revenge against you.

"Fine fine, I'll be your pillow, bitch, but you better be ready for payback later." That wasn't much of a threat; Adam's idea of "payback" when it came to you usually came down to doing the things God put him on Earth to do in the first place.

You mumbled but couldn't do much more than that. It was just too much. You nodded off and Heaven's most annoying angel watched you with a smile that could only be described as "how the hell did Adam learn to look soft".

Answer: that's what being wanted and loved does to someone. Yes even him.

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

my comic i made

[fosskias]

I find the word ‘Core’ used in fanfics so funny. 

Hell yeah they are fingering my core, they got a nuclear science degree and they are putting it to good use.

Pussy as powerful as a nuclear power plant

[deejadabbles]

My ding-ding-dong (Fives x Reader) Humor

Summary: after a bad week at work, your boyfriend just wants to make you breathless.

Rating: T+

A.N: Everyone please go read A Question of Seman-dicks by @dystopicjumpsuit it's hilarious and reading it this morning got me into writing gear to pop this insanity out! @freesia-writes I'm determined to help you make this kind of fic a thing 😂

Word Count: 962

Songs to ~set the mood~ Ding Dong Song by Gunther and Bad Touch by bloodhound gang

Warnings: crude humor, cursing, Fives being Fives, suggestive situations

“I swear to the maker, one of these days!”

Fives watched as you cleaned up the kitchen, putting dishes away in the most aggressive manner he had ever seen as you vented about your week. He wanted to reach out and rub your back in comfort, but the way you slammed the cabinet shut made him think better of it.

“And I know why he’s decided to start drama with me,” you continued, grabbing the knife you had used to cut up dinner, “it’s because I stood up to him, because I didn’t take his condescending, mansplaining, bantha-shit attitude and put him in his place when he tried it on me.” Despite being nowhere in striking distance, Fives still took a step back when you kept the knife in hand as you raged. “So now he’s determined to make me look bad- well game on, bitch! He hasn’t even seen my ugly side yet!”

Fives half expected you to impale the knife into the counter like a declaration of war, but thankfully, you just tossed it in the knife drawer and slammed it shut. Finally, when you ran your hands over your tired face, he closed the distance between you and put an arm around your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, babe, he’s a shithead and doesn’t deserve you as a coworker.”

Warmth filled his chest when you leaned into him, melting at his touch as you blinked up to meet his eyes. “No, I’m sorry,” you let out a defeated sigh, “your shore leave just started and here I am whining about work when I should be focused on you.”

He kissed the top of your head, “Stop that, mesh’la, you needed to vent, you were under a lot of stress this week. I would have held you sooner, but figured it was best to wait til you weren’t armed with serrated kitchenware.”

That made you chuckle a little and the warmth in his chest grew. He wanted to hear a proper laugh from you, a real one that might melt your troubles away.

Oh, that could work. He could practically see the light bulb that went off over his own head as an idea came.

“Hey,” he mumbled as he kept kissing the top of your head, “want me to make you forget your shitty week?”

You turned in his arms, an interested, knowing smirk on your pretty mouth, “Oh, I’d love that, handsome.”

Making sure to put on his best smolder, he took your hand and guided you across your apartment until you got to the bedroom. “Just lay back, beautiful, I’m going to make you howl,” he said, choosing his words very carefully.

The way you raised a brow just a little said you caught it, but you sat on the bed all the same. He followed, pecking your lips as he gently pressed your back to the mattress.

"I'm gonna make you feel soooo good, sweetheart," he said running his hands up your sides in a way that had you biting your lip.

He couldn't wait to have you gasping from the words his mind was thinking up. Just a little more teasing to set the mood...

Fives trailed his mouth down your neck, then back up to your ear, nipping it before he whispered, “Are you ready?”

“Yes-”

“Ready for my trouser snake?”

You choked instantly.

“Wut?”

Fives leaned back, smile bright as he rolled his hips dramatically, “Come on, baby, my man meat is right here.”

That’s when the nervous chuckles started, “ ‘Man meat?! What are you-?”

“My love sausage is ready to serve.”

“Oh my god!”

He rubbed his thighs in a mock of a seductive pose, “You know my little soldier is standing at attention for you!”

That’s the one that had you busting out in a full laugh, double funny considering there was nothing ‘little’ about Fives.

“You can ride my disco stick aaaalllll night!”

Your hand flew up to cover your face as the laughter became more ragged, the other hand holding your side. Oh, Fives wasn’t done yet, not even close!

He started fumbling with his belt in exaggerated movements, “Let me just unleash my custard launcher.”

“Custard- Fives STOOOOP!” it came out a wheeze, and he saw some tears of joy collecting in the corner of your eyes.

“What?” he leaned over you again caging you with his arms as he looked you over, “I thought you loved my massive king kong dong!”

You couldn’t form words anymore, just slapping weakly at his chest as you tried to draw breath into your lungs between strained laughter. Now to move in for the kill.

“My tallywacker,” he leaned in closer, dropping his voice, “my wiener,” then lips to your ear and in his most seductive tone, “my ding-a-ling.”

When you shoved at him, Fives pulled back, smiling at his handy work as you rolled over, clutching your sides and trying to breathe through the delighted wheezing. Well, you certainly weren’t thinking about work now, and Fives thought a smug ‘mission accomplished’ to himself as the fit continued.

He watched as your breathing started to even out, a few happy tears wetting your cheeks, smile bright, eyes alight.

“Damn, you’re beautiful when you laugh,” he said and this time, his tone was completely genuine.

Now that you could finally form coherent thoughts again, you rolled onto your back again and grinned at him, “Then I guess it’s a good thing I have a man who makes me laugh.”

He couldn’t help it, he dove in and kissed you, long and deep this time, loving, doting. Kriff, he adored you.

“Thank you,” a content whisper against his lips, “you always make me feel better.”

“Can’t be a perfect boyfriend without skills like that,” he hummed, then, “now, are you ready to get breathless for a whole different reason?”

You threw your arms around him giggling as you pulled him in for another kiss, “Please.”

.

Tag list: @blueink-bluesoul @anxiouspineapple99 @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @commander-sunshine @dystopicjumpsuit @wolffegirlsunite @sunshinesdaydream @arcsimper5

[writerfae]

Aiden liked starlight lakes.

Few things could compare to their beauty, with the reflections of a million stars shining on the water surface at night and their glow still lingering there even at day time.

They were peaceful, too, something Aiden had learned to appreciate. It wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy spending time at court with his family and friends, but the place was always so busy that sometimes Aiden needed some alone time.

By day, he rarely got it. There were always people around and things to do. Again, not that he minded. He’d take it over being lonely again any day, even if it could be a little overwhelming sometimes.

Even at night he wasn’t alone, which made it hard to sneak out even then, with his boyfriend’s arms always wrapped tightly around him.

This night, however, Aiden had managed to slip away, gently freeing himself of the secure grip around him to go for a little midnight swim.

Neither Talon nor Aiden’s brother would be all too thrilled to know Aiden was out at night, alone nonetheless. But this was exactly what Aiden needed right now.

Swimming had been something he always adored, back in his hometown. Whether it was splashing around at daytime with his brother, swimming on his own at night or secretly skinny-dipping with Theo that one time.

The lake in his hometown could in no way compare to the beauty of this starlight lake, though. Aiden found himself marveling at its beauty, still after the many times he’s seen it and others of its kind. He enjoyed swimming in it even more.

Aiden scooped a little bit of water in his hands as if to drink from it and admired the mini version of the constellation above his head reflected in the water. Like many times before, childlike wonder struck him at the reminder that what he held in his hands were reflections of the stars. The real, actual stars. It was truly magical.

Starlight lakes, Aiden had decided, were his favorite thing about the faerie realm.

Suddenly, he felt someone sliding their arms around him from behind and for a moment he froze in surprise.

“Found you,” a voice whispered close to his ear, before placing a kiss on the sensitive skin behind it.

Aiden instantly relaxed. He smiled to himself. “Talon.”

Okay, maybe starlight lakes were his second favorite thing about the faerie realm.

Talon kissed the side of Aiden’s neck, like trying to kiss the stars from his skin and Aiden tilted his head to the side to give him better access. He sighed.

“You didn’t have to come looking for me, you know?”

Talon hummed, the feeling of it against his skin making Aiden shiver. “But I am always looking for you,” he said with a muffled voice, his face still buried in Aiden’s neck. “And I always find you. Sooner or later.”

Aiden turned around to face Talon, putting his arms around the other’s neck. He looked at him, admiring how pretty his boyfriend looked in the moonlight, hair still messy from sleep and skin glistening with the reflection of stars, much like Aiden’s own. “That you do. And I’m grateful for it.”

It was true. Aiden was grateful. He’s waited for Talon to come around and find him. It took them a while, but Aiden found that Talon was more than worth the wait.

Once they’ve first found their way to each other, they always kept coming back around. Aiden wasn’t planning on ever letting to, on ever stopping to wait for Talon to find him.

He was glad it was him. Back then, now and for all eternity.

He kissed him, slow and sweet, trying to put all those feelings that he was never quite able to put into words into this gesture instead.

Talon’s grip around his waist tightened as Aiden pulled him impossibly closer, till they were all but chest to chest. The kiss deepened and Aiden reached out to bury a hand in blonde locks, like he had many times before and would hopefully do many times after.

Aiden could’ve done this for all eternity. Being close to him, feeling his hands all over him, sharing this kiss surrounded by thousands of stars. So he kept kissing him till it stole both their breaths, breaking apart for air only for seconds before diving back in.

After a while though, Aiden felt tiredness slowly wash over him. After all, it was already pretty late. He broke the kiss, leaning his head against Talon’s shoulder and pulling his legs around the boy’s torso, just letting him hold him.

“Tired, ma ghir’nan?” Talon asked, kissing the crown of Aiden’s hair.

Aiden smiled at the nickname. He nodded, hair brushing against Talon’s neck.

Talon chuckled. “Let’s get you back to bed, then.” Gently he guided Aiden out of the water, helped to dry him off and carried him to bed, ever the dutiful guard and boyfriend.

He tugged him in and held him close and Aiden let out a sigh, feeling content. Truly, this was all worth the wait, he thought before drifting off to sleep in his lover’s embrace.

Yes, he liked starlight lakes, but he liked Talon even more.

.

This is not deserving of the official tag list but @deadlycupid and @bunnymermaidwrites and maybe also @sleepy-night-child you guys might still appreciate it and won’t judge me if it’s bad haha

[anawrites3]

"What do I have to do to keep you here?"

Dick paused at the question with his pants pulled on half-way. Slade was still lounging in the bed, very much naked after the night they had spent together and Dick would love to be there with him but he got a call from B and he had to go. None of them liked it but that's how it always was.

"I don't know. Kidnap me and chain me to the floor?" Dick laughed, finishing getting ready. He walked over to the bed to press the last kiss against Slade's lips. "I'll see you later."

"Little bird." Slade said in his way of goodbye, watching him go.

 - - - - - - - -

A few weeks later, Dick woke up in a half-lit basement. His head hurt and his mouth was dry but he wasn't bound or blindfolded which was... unusual. Then he tried to move and something rattled loudly near his legs. No, he wasn't bound - he was just chained to the floor. Great.

"Awake?"

Dick looked up at the voice, startled. "Wha- Slade?! What's going on?!"

Why was Slade here? Was he the one to bring Dick there? Was it a contract? Was everything between them a lie and Slade was lying to him to get his trust so then he can sell him to some bastard? Was-

"You told me I'd have to kidnap you to keep you." Slade said calmly as if he was talking about weather and walked over to him. He crouched down close enough to Dick to take hold of his jaw and press their lips together. Dick didn't stop him, too shocked to do anything. "Didn't think that's the kind of thing you're into but I'm not gonna judge."

"You- I was joking!" Dick pushed him away and tried to back away. Slade watched him for a moment before simply wrapping the chains around his hand and tugging him back close. "Let me go!"

"I know you were joking, little bird. But isn't this more fun?" He smirked. "Excellent idea. We have at least a few days before Daddy Bats finds you. What do you think?"

Dick swallowed. Well... he guessed he could use a vacation...

"You're sick. You know that, right?" He asked but didn't protest when Slade pressed them closer together and kissed him again.

"Mm, sure. Keep that talk up and the chain will stay on."

Dick wasn't sure if it would be a good or a bad thing anymore.

[enixamyram]

Basically I saw people arguing whether or not Charlie would accept any of the Vees (especially Valentino) into the hotel. And it gave me ideas that I know I'm never gonna write so I'll just share it instead! XD

Random Story Idea I Got Based On Seeing Others Discuss:

What If The Vees Checked Into The Hazbin Hotel

Since the big fight with the angels, it has been proven once and for all that demons can be redeemed via Sir Pentious visiting with Emily to confirm Charlie's dream for her. The Hotel's all happy and celebrating but not everyone in hell is.

The Vees as some such people because if Charlie starts redeeming sinners then that will be less souls they can get contracts with. But they have no way to stop them since Sir Pentious and Emily made a pretty grand display and if they fight too hard then it could backfire on them. So, they come up with their plan. They decide to pretend they also want to be redeemed. All three of them ask to join the hotel with the secret purpose of spying on them and sabotaging it from the inside out.

Charlie knows they are full of shit. Everyone knows it. But if Charlie refuses them without any proof, it would cost the hotel since Charlie's whole point is that everyone and anyone should get the chance if they ask for it. In the end, she knows that if they say no, they would essentially be sabotaging the hotel's good reputation and lose other sinners who genuinely want to redeem but are too afraid to come forward for fear of being judged for past sins.

So, Charlie is forced to say yes and let them in. But then immediately gets Vaggie, Husk and Alastor to work spying on the Vees spying on them. The goal is to catch them breaking any of the main hotels rules so that Charlie has a legit reason to kick them out.

On the very first night, Val tries to go to Angel's room since he avoided him all day only to find Nifty dutifully cleaning the hallway just outside. It turns out Charlie assigned her the job of keeping the Vees (specifically Val) from distubring other guests (specifically Angel). Cue some humor as Val is freaked out by Nifty because, well, it's Nifty and she tore a chunk out of him and then went on to kill the first man.

So, Husk is trying to get dirt on Val and the two have confrontations about Angel - which leads to Huskerdust! Alastor is riling up Vox to get him to do something stupid and the two just repeatedly try to one up each other and get on each others nerves. And Vaggie is assigned Velvette who isn't giving anything away and even mocks the fact that she knows Vaggie is spying on her (like taking a selfie with Vaggie obviously hiding in the background and tagging her in posts on her socials).

There'd be a bit of humor but also some dramatic angst with the Vees using the spying/riling/confrontations to show the Hotel is picking on them and whatever other techniques they can to turn people against the Hotel.

So yeah. That's my rambles of an idea!

[marinerainbow]

I have been obsessed with Bistro Huddy for a couple days now, and I found this video and... I can't. I can't stop thinking about this with my Poppy ships. I had to write this crack XD

@just-kit-ink and @wicked1will0sparkles I have a feeling this'll get a chuckle out of you guys (for the sake of argument, let's say that Shiny and Poppy do work for the TP from time to time in this fic. Like... Poppy can offer them info about some of the Uptown toon she works with, and Shiny can do all kinds of crimes with them).

~

It was a rare, and almost frightening, sight to see the boss smiling. Not in an unnerving way, not in smug pride, but actual genuine joy from another person. It almost never happened. Which was why Greasy knew something had to be up between Smartass and Poppy when he saw the two laughing and drinking coffee side by side in the kitchen.

"Ohhhoho! You really said that??"

"Well 'yea, what else was I gonna say? You 'shoulda seen the look on his mug!" The weasel breathed out a few chuckles before he noticed the new presence and looked up, just in time to see his right hand man smirking at him knowingly. Rolling his eyes and shrugging, Smartass chose to just cut himself off, now that he and Poppy weren't alone anymore, "Alright, I'll tell 'ya what happened next later. Seeya at lunch."

It wasn't lost on Poppy that another person's presence did ruin the mood, but she didn't make any implication about that. She didn't want to hurt the Spaniards' feelings... That and work needed to be done anyway. So she just nodded, "Alright. I should get you the paperwork you need by ten, at the latest."

"Sounds good."

Poppy walked off with her mug and a smile, nodding and offering Greasy a cheery "Bonjour." As she passed him and slipped out the kitchen door. That left him the opportunity to smirk knowingly at his boss, who rolled his eyes in response, "Buen día."

"Shuddap, Grease."

Though 'shutting up' was not on Greasy's plans. Not after what he just witnessed. The weasel took his time grabbing his coffee cup from the cupboard and pouring himself some of the much needed caffeinated liquid, all while keeping eye contact with a Smartass who was ever-increasingly going back to his grumpy persona. This probably wasn't a good idea to poke the bear before he could finish his coffee... But hey, this was what happened when you chuck out the TV the night before, and there was nothing else to entertain your right hand man, "So, I see you and Poppy have a little something going on~"

Usually there would be a tapping foot- or a death glare- or a twitching hand and glancing towards the nearest object that would tell the taller weasel that there was indeed something happening between his boss and their sweet friend. However, Smartass must have been truly exhausted since he just huffed and went back to stirring his coffee, "There ain't 'nothin going on. That's just how a work marriage is

The ear-to-ear grin on Greasy's face fell instantly after that, and looked like his brain was shutting down from attempting to process what Smartass just said. As if he claimed that Bugs Bunny was actually a crcodile, "A... A Work marriage?"

"What?? You 'nevah heard of it??" The hint of jealousy in Greasy's eyes seemed to be lost on the head weasel. He looked more surprised at the thought of him not being aware of the special relationship one could have with their coworkers, "Well I ain't explainin' it-"

"Ohhh no, I know what a work wife is. Because that is what Poppy is to me."

The sip that Smartass had attempted to drink almost got coughed up onto his suit. The pink weasel actually had to set the cup down before he glowrred at the other toon. There was absolutely no way his ears were working right. At least Greasy better hope they weren't, "Excuse you??"

Instead of being intimidated, Greasy just crossed his arms and seemed to take on the challenge instead, "You heard me, boss. If she's work married to anybody in this house, it's me."

"Oh no. Uh-uh bub. She's work married t'me."

"No, Poppy is my work wife."

The two weasels whipped their heads towards the doorway, looking at a just woken, disheveled, feral looking Psycho staring at them like they were the insane ones. And he was sending Greasy in particular a glare that could make any iron-willed man feel weak in the bladder, "You already have Shiny. You can't have Poppy too."

At that, Smartass immediately turned back towards Greasy with his fists on his hips, "Oh! You got that lunatic, but you're over here movin' in on my work gal??"

"MY work wife! Get your own!"

"And who's to say I must limit myself to one beautiful woman, eh?" Greasy glanced between his comrades with a hand to his chest, like he wasn't just getting on Smartass' case for being work married to Poppy, "How is that fair?"

"How is tha- BOY-"

"Actually, I'm Poppy's work husband too."

"WHAT!?"All three looked straight at the smoker, now standing in the doorway and looking like he just made the biggest mistake in his life. Why he thought it was a good idea to say that out loud, who knows. But the smoker just groaned and walked further in the kitchen to grab an apple from the fruit bowl, with Stupid following after him.

"Duh, what's happening here?"

Seeing the big lug of a weasel come in all confused made Greasy and Smartass narrow their eyes at him in suspicion. Psycho on the other hand was too busy growling at an unphased Wheezy, "Estúpido, you better not say you're Poppy's work husband too."

Stupid blinked at his brother and coworker for a moment, before his eyes lit up once he caught up with the topic of discussion, "Huh? Noooo, we're not work married!"

"Good. I don't need'ta deal with yo-"

"She's my work mom!"

The whole room fell silent. Smartass and Greasy glanced to each other before looking at the oblivious Stupid, and even Psycho had paused his confrontation with Wheezy- who was now burying his face in his free hand, "Stu, don't-"

"And Wheezy is my work dad!" The buck toothed toon proclaimed happily as he pointed to the internally dying Wheezy, still blissfully unaware of the tension in the room, "He and Poppy work adopted me! We even got ice cream yesterday!"

...

At that moment, without even looking up from his paw, Wheezy knew his smokes would not be enough emotional support to face these ridiculous weasels, "Ok, guys-"

"YOU STARTED A WORK FAMILY WITH POPPY!?"

"¡Destructor de hogares!"

"Is there ANYBODY in this house NOT puttin' the work moves on her!?"

"I'm not, boss!"

"SHUT UP!"

Breakfast and coffee were on no ones mind now. The entire kitchen was quickly filled with screaming, threats, and proclamations of betrayal. Poor Stupid could only stand there, glancing to his work dad and pleading with his eyes for an answer of what to do. Though all Wheezy would do was suck in as much toxic smoke as he could while he still had the chance. Before Smartass could throw the toaster, or Psycho could pounce on somebody.

The only thing that could break up the whole room was the very rabbit of discussion when she poked her head inside in concern. Her eyes pinned down against her head and her eyes were wide as they darted to each individual in the room, "Uh, g-guys? Is everything-"

"Get outta here while you still can, Pops."

"What do you-"

She just barely managed to contain her shriek when suddenly all four pairs of eyes locked onto her, making her stand straight up at attention. The moment to escape was long gone now, "Guys...?"

A long silence hung in the air as the first three weasels all looked at each other, as if agreeing upon something, then looked right back at Poppy. Stupid scratched under his propeller hat in confusion, and Wheezy closed his eyes to fully enjoy the silence before it would be undoubtedly ruined again.

---

"What on Earth- What are you guys talking about?"

Having taken this out to the living room, Poppy was seated on the couch and resisted rubbing her temples. The papers she was working on for Smartass were currently strewn about the coffee table, but all she could focus on were the weasels surrounding her. Wheezy was sitting on her left, not at all wanting to be here either. Smartass was sitting straight up in his own chair, tapping his foot with his arms crossed. Greasy had been trying to sit on Poppy's right, though he kept getting driven off by Psycho who was standing by the couch like a gargoyle. And Stupid was busy getting himself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen now that it wasn't crowded anymore.

If Poppy had been told she was going to be in the middle of a work love triangle- or rectangle in this case- with four of Toontowns biggest criminals four years ago, she would have laughed it off as a joke.

"I don't know how we can make it any clearer, but fine." Smartass huffed out as he leaned forward, almost looking like he was in the middle of one of his business meetings, "These nimrods think you're their work wife. We gotta clear it all up, like usual."

"Smarty-"

"Poppy, it's alright. I know this is all a terrible misunderstanding." Greasy still hadn't managed to slip past Psycho, so he chose to kneel in front of her and take her paw in his hands all dramatic like. He looked like the love interest in one of his novelas, and Poppy just looked so tired, "Just tell these putas that you, Shiny, and I are exclusive. Then we can get back to normal, si?"

"Listen-"

Poppy was once again interrupted, but this time by Psycho as he hopped over the couch just to smack at Greasy's face and hiss like a territorial housecat. The second in command managed to jumo back in time, but that didn't make the lunatic back off, "¿¡Qué carajo!?"

"You go be 'exclusive' with Shiny!"

"Yeah, you shouldn't even be here!"

While the three spiraled into yet another argument, Poppy heaved out a defeated sigh before looking towards the only sane one right now. Their eyes met and, like always, they shared a silent moment of pity and understanding for the other, "Help me."

Although he truly felt sorry for his work wife, and wanted nothing more than to escape this madhouse, there really was nothing Wheezy could do for either of them. All Poppy had to see was his slumped shoulders to know what he was going to say, "I tried, Poppy. You know how they get."

The toon groaned as she gave in and leaned back on the couch to rest her head on the back. Her headache growing with each curse word flung around. Why couldn't these guys just... The bond formed within a stressful and emotionally draining work environment knew no bounds. It couldn't just be contained to one individual. Why couldn't these jerks see that??

Well, at least Wheezy understood it. And Greasy, to an extent... Maybe it was more of a pride thing between him, Psycho and Smartass. If that was the case, then she could get this fixed no prob-

"Alright then. How about a fight?"

Blinking back into the present, and getting over the jarring sudden silence that befell the living room, Poppy turned her head far back enough to see the source of the familiar voice; Shiny standing in the middle of the open front door, with what looked like a crate of her homebrewed alcohol tucked under her arm. The arguing must have been loud enough to cover Shiny coming inside. But either way, her announcing her presence caused the three weasels to actually pause in their bickering, "You guys heard what I said."

Oh god no, "I- Shiny, I don't think that- we don't want that to happen."

The weasel lady just shrugged as she kicked the door closed behind her, taking turns to look each and every one of them in the eye- including Psycho, despite the probability of him taking that as a challenge in the mood he was in now being high. She didn't even bother trying to hide her smirk while placing the moonshine on the nearest syrface as she reiterated, "If you guys want her to choose, why not prove your worthiness and fight for her?

"Shiny, for the love of God, no." Wheezy stated in a firm voice he didn't often use. Glancing to his team, he could see the gears turning in Psycho's and Greasy's heads as they briefly shared a look. Fortunately, though, Smartass at least was currently stuttering out a response in disbelief. Hopefully, that meant the boss' sanity was coming back.

"Too late, Cowboy."

"No! No, not too late! Guys!-"

"You know what?!" Finally. Smartass was being the leader he should have been from the start. Standing up and pointing a finger at the mischievous woman, who just raised an amused brow right back at him, he snapped, "You don't get to come in here and-"

Though he was too late. The time for actual sense in this house had passed. That was made obvious when Smartass was sent flying over his chair and across the room. After a straightjacket clad weasel launched himself right at him. Psycho' battle screech and Smartass' cursing and gun clicking filled the room, and all Greasy did was pull out his switchblade and started cleaning it; preparing himself for war.

Although his expression remained partially neutral, his shaking hands while he lit up his whole pack and jumped right out of his seat showed how absolutely done he was. He wasn't going to bother trying to pull those maniacs away from each other. Not when he didn't even want to make a big deal out of this in the first place, "I'm out."

"PSYCHO NO!" While Wheezy was walking away from the others, Poppy leaped up to her feet with intentions of trying to break up the fight. Though before she could take a step towards the brawl, she was stopped when Shiny placed her well manicured paw on her shoulder. Looking behind her, Poppy watched her shake her head, silently telling her 'it's not worth it, honey', "Shiny!-"

"Let them get it out of their system. They clearly need it, sugar." The woman casually shrugged. The tiny smirk on her lips, though, showed she had more selfish reasons for starting this between them... And that she wasn't going to even try to hide it, "Besides, it's funny how easy they all are. Isn't it?"

"N-No! I can't let my work marriages fall apart!"

"Oh, please. This'll get through to them better than 'sitting down and talking it out' ever would. And you know it." Shiny sighed- not as dramatically as Greasy was renowned for, but there was a hint of drama behind it- before wrapping her arms around the rabbits shoulders and pulling her around and close, making Poppy completely face her now. Good thing, too. As the pencil holder that flew behind Poppy would have hit her in the eye otherwise. Even though Poppy was upset, the look of worry and slight anger towards her was absolutely adorable, and only made Shiny's grin broaden, "Besides, it doesn't really matter in the end. Does it?"

The tiny frown on Poppy's face faltered at that. Though not because she was comprehending how close her best friend was now, "How?"

"'Cause you and I both know that out of everybody here, I'm your true work spouse."

"Oh my god-"

"Hey! I didn't say anything about being the only one! I'm just saying that I'm the matriarch of your little work harem~"

...

Somehow, despite her soured mood, despite the waging three-way war happening just mere feet from them, Shiny still managed to get a smile, and even a little chuckle, out of her. Shaking her head, Poppy decided in that moment to just press her forehead against her favorite lady's crown, and enjoy this tiny moment between them while it could last, "You're terrible."

~

Not paying any mind to the sounds of agony from the three men, or the crashing and breaking of wood, or Smartass' "WHERE'D PSYCHO GET THE LAWN CHAIR!?!?", the dancer just touched noses with her little rabbit and giggled alongside her, "I know~"

While the girls were distracted, Stupid poked his head out of the kitchen doorway to see what was causing so much of a rucus. Crumbs of ceral still unwiped from his lips, "What's going-"

One look at the three feral weasels, a mising Wheezy, and Poppy and Shiny completely forgetting the world around them, Stupid had made probably the smartest decision he ever hsad made in his life at that moment. He quickly and quietly slipped back in the kitchen to finish his food, "Nevermind!"

This got a little genuine Popshine'y at the end of the crack. I don't regret it XD

[chenziee]

OPKisstober: Straw Hats

Day 6 for OPKisstober: Law/Luffy (HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAW!!)

[ Masterpost | Series on AO3 | Ko-Fi ]

When Law had proposed his alliance with the Straw Hats, it was a thing of opportunity for him. They appeared out of nowhere in front of him right as he was starting to think about how to put his plans against Doflamingo to motion, almost like a sign from the heavens. The helping hand in a moment of need that the Sister from his school in Flevance had told him about.

He had expected it to end in maybe 24 hours, the moment he actually faced Doflamingo. He tried to make it end there. But, unfortunately for him, Straw Hat Luffy was much more stubborn, much more selfish, and much more caring than Law had given him credit for.

And now, here he fucking was.

“Torao!! Where are you?!”

Law groaned. Can’t have peace for five fucking minutes…

“Up here!” he called back—after all, he had learned the hard way that if he pretended he wasn’t there, he wouldn’t hear the end of it.

A second later, a hand appeared on the railing circling the roof of the Sunny’s bathroom. Law sighed as the entire Straw Hat hauled himself up, a wide grin on his lips and a plate full of meat in his free hand. “There you are. Why are you hiding? It’s your party today!”

Law rolled his eyes, muttering, “You guys are too loud. I needed a break.”

“You never change,” Straw Hat snickered, finally jumping off the railing he had perched himself on earlier to join Law in his hiding spot. He would have to find a new one. Again.

“You expected me to change in the two weeks we didn’t see each other?” Law asked, a small, teasing smirk finding its way on his lips.

“Who knows? You’re officially old now!” 

“I’m turning thirty, not fucking eighty, Straw Hat-ya. And we’re still only six years apart.” Law deadpanned.

Luffy shrugged, plopping himself on the floor next to Law, placing the plate of meat on Law’s lap.

Raising an eyebrow, Law looked at Straw Hat questioningly, but Luffy only grinned. “Sanji’s special BBQ meat you missed! I’ll eat it if you don’t want it tho.”

With a huff, Law grabbed the fork that was on the plate—no doubt thanks to Black Leg; there was no way Luffy would think to grab one—, bringing a piece of the meat to his mouth. He could feel Luffy’s eyes glued to the juicy bite, clearly having to physically hold himself back from stealing everything for himself.

And honestly, Law couldn’t blame him; he shouldn’t be surprised by Black Leg’s cooking at this point, but the way the meat melted in his mouth, the flavour exploding on his tongue, the spices perfectly complementing the particular type of sea king… It was simply incredible.

“It’s good, right? Right?” Straw Hat asked eagerly, and when Law glanced at him, he was momentarily blinded by the excited, proud smile on his face and the stars dancing in his eyes.

It took Law a second to recover, but then he sighed, nodding. “It’s amazing. Although,”—he paused as he gestured towards the plate, giving Luffy a look—”I could swear there was more when you brought it here.”

Luffy blinked, his blinding smile melting into one so innocent and so awkward that Law was actually amazed by how unconvincing he looked. “It—It must be your imagination…”

Law couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing at the sight, a bubble of warmth growing in his chest. How was this guy so ridiculous? A Supernova, an Emperor, or the Pirate King, it didn’t matter. He was still just as dumb, just as selfish, just as reckless, and just as cute as he was when they first met at that auction house on Sabaody.

And Law just seemed to love him more every day.

“Don’t laugh,” Straw Hat muttered, a large pout replacing his fake grin.

Shaking his head, Law reached out with his hand, touching Luffy’s cheek, letting his fingers slide over that soft skin until they buried in Luffy’s messy hair, pulling him closer.

Luffy didn’t fight the guiding touch; instead, he shuffled a little closer, leaning forward eagerly. A moment later, their lips finally connected.

The touch was familiar, their lips moulding together with practised ease even as Luffy grinned into the kiss, a small snicker escaping him when Law ran tongue over Luffy’s bottom lip—tasting meat and spice, an unnecessary confirmation of Luffy’s crime of stealing Law’s food.

Not that Law really cared. He was used to it at this point, even expecting it. Honestly, he never truly minded sharing his food with Luffy—a fact that shocked both him, and everyone who knew him. Penguin still hadn’t let it go, teasing Law over it every fucking time Luffy grabs something off of Law’s plate with no repercussions, a feat that no one else would get away with.

Law simply didn’t share things, food especially. It made him feel weird and uncomfortable—just like the thought of kissing someone, caring for someone romantically, loving someone always made him feel weird and uncomfortable.

But Luffy always somehow found a way past Law’s barriers, defying logic and Law’s own convictions.

And Law was past wondering why or how.

As they finally pulled away from each other, Law raised an eyebrow at the unhappy look on Luffy’s face. “What?”

“You can’t just kiss me and expect me to forget you laughed at me! You didn’t even say sorry,” Luffy whined.

Law snorted, leaning in to press another kiss to Luffy’s mouth. Not saying anything.

“You’re a jerk. I hate you,” Luffy muttered, stealing all of the remaining meat on the plate, gulping it down in one go.

Shaking his head, Law reached out to ruffle Luffy’s hair. “Thanks. I hate you, too.”

When Luffy’s only response was to stick his tongue out, Law chuckled, kissing Luffy one last time before he grabbed the now-empty plate and got up, offering his hand to Luffy. “Should we go back?”

His annoyance obviously forgotten, a wide grin spread on Luffy’s face as he grabbed Law’s hand, letting himself be pulled up to his feet—only Luffy didn’t let go. Instead, he followed the momentum, crashing into Law, wrapping his free arm around his waist.

“Happy birthday. I love you,” he said, his grin widening.

The corners of Law’s mouth twitched in response. Pushing Luffy’s hair away from his face, Law leaned down, giving Luffy one final, small kiss. “I love you too, Pirate King,” Law muttered.

With a snicker, Luffy stepped away, never letting go of Law’s hand when he jumped off the roof, dragging Law down with him.

As the both of them rejoined the birthday party the Straw Hats had insisted on throwing him—a completely separate party from the one his own crew was throwing on his actual birthday in two days—, Law couldn’t help but marvel at how much his life had changed in the past four years.

Four years ago, he was still fighting against Doflamingo’s strings, attached to him like he was a puppet. Since then, everything had changed. He lost his ship, almost lost his entire crew—everything he had, for the third time. He experienced freedom, crushing defeat, crawling his way up again… and the Straw Hats were there for all of it. Law wouldn’t be where he was now without this crew of idiots, and their complete menace of a captain.

His ally, his partner, his king, the absolute bane of Law’s entire existence… 

The love of his miserable fucking life.

Four years ago, he didn’t think he’d see his 30th birthday but here he was, happier than he’d ever been.

[dootznbootz]

Helloooo. Just checking in on you. :D How are you doing??

Helloooo Niko! :D And thank you for stopping by and checking in, my dear wormling!

I'm doing a lot better, but still taking a bit of a rest as it took quite a bit outta me :') As my chronic pain flared up the day the Thunder Saga dropped but wasn't so bad and I wanted to truck through it as you know, excited but I realized I needed to actually rest ;~;

I hope to be rambling and writing and back squirming with the fuzzy worms soon but I'm still feeling that big brain fog and want that cleared up a bit :D As today is the first day I've felt pretty well lol

[mitamicah]

aaaaaa I'm so excited you got the ARE YOU from Jere!!!!! Are you designing the tattoo already???

I am still not over that and especially now with his story like how dARE YOU 😭🤣

ARe yOU 👀👀👀

I have most of the design ready i just went into a state were i can nothing but fanboy for a hot minute so I hope to get myself calm enough to transfer my pictures and scan the page so I can work on it 😍

[stripeydani]

I've been having such a hard time writing lately, and I know it's only going to get worse as the holiday fatigue sets in 😭

I literally only have one scene (granted, a long one) left to do and I'm just dragging my feet all the time 😫

Brain is not braining right now.

[druidx]

In the latest chapter for Her Countenance was Light I've introduced an NPC policeman... and was suddenly visceral reminded about how this poor sucker¹ got his name.

His full name is Frederic King Sensible, shortened to F. King Sensible.

... You can probably see where this is going.

When he was introduced, he was Lieutenant at the 6th precinct. We'd gone to discuss the care and rearing of a Young Red Dragon we found under the ex-temple of Moradin. It quickly became obvious that the then-Captain² of the 6th was an utter muppet, and the Lieutenant was the competent one. Neither of them had names at this point.

Someone remarked, "at least the LT is sensible'" Someone else chirped up, "I guess that's his name then." Which was followed up by, "yeah, he's f'king sensible."

So this poor sod has the worst joke name, simply because he was competent.

____

¹ I say 'poor sucker' because he had to deal with us PCs. ² In my writing about the future of Toreguarde, nameless Captain Muppet of the 6th has retired and poor Sensible is now captain. I'm given to understand that in the far distant future campaign Aqua is running, that young red, Rudundicus, is now Ancient and continuing the proud line of red dragons who protect Toreguarde.

[storiesofaot]

Gee, it seems that I was having a lot of trust in myself a few days ago. What do you mean, "idk I'll figure it out ", my dear past self? 👀 I still don't know... 🤓