#this is still slash jay 😭😭

[teemhaunts]

yall fr just activated my nuerodivergency im.never forgiving you sgt frog fandom smh !!!!!!

[screamingfrenchfries]

i genuinely went to school in outfits like this on a daily basis in middle school and i wondered why i got bullied.

[h0dge-p0dge]

if anyone doesn't want me around anymore they could just tell me that Harry Shearer died and I would kill myself

[evantualmao]

i think it's really funny that i started getting more active on tumblr around my blur phase.. imagine if i was on this site during the time i was fixated on tyler, the creator 😭

[aliidarling]

no thoughts, only the group deciding to take in a nurse reader but is very sensitive and very naive to people now. Like doesn't grasp the idea of ulterior motives and Rick is OBSESSED with her. Wants to keep her safe and very protective, gets jealous when she tends to Daryls or Glenns or Merles wounds. Almost kills Merles when he finds out that he almost convinces reader to let him do a, body inspection to check for "bites". All the clothes she picks out are washed out pinks and dirty creams from the muck but still a pretty doll for him and maybe one night he just can't take it anymore and sneaks into her cell or room or tent and takes her. After the cherry on top is she's virgin??? I'll let you run with this if you want but yeah, no thoughts just this :3

say yes to heaven

RICK GRIMES x fem!reader

sfw content :)

summary; you’re the cute nurse of alexandria and rick may or not be obsessed with you

warnings; fluff, kissing

i tried so hard to write nsfw but i couldn’t i’m sorrryyy😭love u jay!! but hey if this gets enough attention maybe i’ll do a part 2 with the nsfw..

they had found you weeks back in terminus, a small girl wearing a bloody sundress. rick was the one who found you, and he practically fell inlove at first sight, astounded by your soft hair and pretty face that looked angelic in comparison to the blood covering your shaky figure.

he had been the one who comforted you and helped you walk, one hand around your waist and one of yours wrapped around his shoulder. you were limping, and he was quick to aid you.

you stuck around them ever since, clinging onto rick mostly with a goody-two-shoes attitude that would annoy rick normally if he wasn’t so infatuated. you were too cute to get angry at, a killer smile and soft baby-skin.

after discovering your knowledge in nursing, you were quick to be appointed as one of the doctors in alexandria. rick was annoyed by how popular you suddenly were, especially with how all the men in town suddenly had injuries that they were dying to get medicated.

he could feel his anger rising as he sat on one of the benches in the small clinic you shared with denise, arms crossed as he watched you interact with aiden. you were gently wrapping a bandage around a slash he got from a run, a slash rick swore wasn’t even that deep. not deep enough to need all the shit aiden was begging you to give him.

“tell me if i’m hurting you, okay?” you smiled at him sweetly as your delicate fingers worked at him, one hand on his bicep holding him steady while the other wrapped the bandage. aiden stared up at you shamelessly, practically drooling as he nodded.

“you could never hurt me, darling.” he says cheekily, grinning as he ogled your small form. rick held back a scoff at how confident his tone was, when he knew damn well who you would choose between the two of them. you would choose rick over that dumbass anyday, right?

rick decides he's seen enough of this dumb little interaction and coughs lowly, gaining both of your attention. your eyes widen at the sight of the scratches and blood on him, not much but still enough to worry you!

“rick! what happened?” you gasped, walking over to him and gently placing your hands on him to look at his wound. he bites back the cocky grin when you immediately ditch aiden for him. he wants to grab you and kiss you stupid, show aiden who you really belong to, but he knows that would probably make you freak.

“the run was rocky, got a lil’ roughed up, it’s nothin’ sweetheart.” he soothes, placing a hand on the back of your head and petting you like a little kitty. he saw you as the cutest thing—wanting to pet and rub you like you were his little pet.

“oh no, cmon, sit down. i’ll patch you up, okay?” you smile sweetly at him like a damn angel, making him want to just scoop you up and run off. rick obviously doesn’t do that and instead nods with a soft chuckle, following your orders and sitting down on one of the beds.

“you’re an angel.” he sends you a crooked grin that has you blushing and shying away, making his smile widen even further. you’re so adorable, he thinks, nothing could take you away from him.

rick almost laughs as you leave aiden behind and start wrapping him up, smiling at him and asking how the run went. he knew you preferred him— why wouldn’t you?

later that night, he’s out on a late night patrol around town when he passes by your house. you had decorated it well, with little garden gnomes outside and a patio with a rocking chair. there was even a fluffy throw blanket thrown over it, with the side table occupied by a crystal lamp and book.

he had caught side of you sitting out there by yourself, making him frown. pretty girl like you shouldn’t be alone. he thinks for a split second before mindlessly walking up to you, waving with a friendly smile.

“hey sweetheart.” he greets, eyes twinkling as you immediately straighten your posture and send him a killer smile. you give him a polite wave back, and he asks if he can sit down.

“oh yeah, of course. i’m actually— i have cookies in the oven, want some?” your words are soft as you stand up, patting down your clothing.

you wore a pair of matching silk pajamas, a pair he had seen you wear before. it had tiny shorts, a short sleeve button up, and was pink. everything you wore was pink, he noticed. whenever he would go on runs you’d always run up to him beforehand, just begging for him to bring back some sweet creamy clothes or a light pink. he always did, just for you.

“cute pajamas.” he teased as he follows you inside, glance around your cozy place. he had been here before, rare occasions , but now he was alone with you at night time. no one would be able to hear you both.

he shuddered. that sounded wrong. no, he just wanted you to moan his name over and over again. not murder you.

you giggle at his comment, glancing at him, “thank you!” you wiggled your hips teasingly, showing off your pajamas, not even knowing the effect that had on him. he could feel his cock harden in his pants at the sight— jesus christ, don’t just do that.

“definitely smells like cookies in here. didn’t know you liked to bake.” he mutters as he walked up to your oven, peering down at the pan of cookies inside. he hums at the sight and smell.

“it’s my comfort at times, you know? living in an apocalyptic world isn’t the greatest.” you pout, leaning against the counter next to him. he wants to grab you and make you feel so good, but that would just scare you off. he needed to ease into it.

“they’re lookin’ good, hun. you better let me get a few extras too.” he jokes, straightening his back to full height and towering over you. you feel your tummy tingle at the sight of the officer so close, his messy curls hanging over his forehead freely. you feel the urge to brush your hands through them, you have before. you were quite touchy with him whenever he was in his clinic, something you only found yourself doing with him.

a silence falls between the two of you. you’re both just staring at each other, the only sound audible being the wind blowing against the windows and the clock ticking. since when was he so close to you? you could practically feel his breath on you.

the next few seconds are filled with you both gradually leaning closer to each other, his hand going to place it on the counter behind you, trapping you— his chest flush against yours and his lips about to connect to yours.. when the stove stars dinging loudly, making you both flinch. you immediately dive towards the oven, grabbing your pink mittens and pulling out the pan.

“aw, shit, i burned them—..” you panicked, a big blush on your face from the interaction you just had with him. he stared at you silently from behind, eyes narrowing slowly. he was definitely gonna spank you later for that, because no way is he leaving this house tonight without at least one kiss.

“it’ll be alright.” he says, his sarcastic tone pretty obvious. he presses his chest against your back, making you stiffen from the sudden contact. he smoothly grabs the pan from you and places it down onto the counter, before swiftly turning you to face him.

“rick—“ you gasp, blinking rapidly as he was now holding you against him, hands on your waist. firm. he wasn’t planning on letting you go.

“shut up.” he grumbled, immediately shutting you up with a harsh kiss to your soft pink lips. you moan in surprise into his lips, your body arching into his reflexively. shakily, you place your palms on his biceps, holding them steadily to steady yourself.

the kiss was passionate, something he’s wanted since day one. ever since he saw you all scared in terminus, wearing that pretty dress with the face of an angel, all he could think was how well he would treat you.

he slowly steps forward, making you stumble back. your pressed against the counter now, his hands holding you down as he deepens the kiss, hungry for anything you could give him. everything.

“you taste so good, exactly how i thought you would.” he groans as he finally parts from you. your lips were coated in saliva from him practically eating your face off, breath heavy.

“thank you..?” you choked out, a big blush on your cheeks. you looked down shyly, face warming up as he was so close to you. you were still trying to process the fact he had kissed you.

“don’t go all shy on me, sweetheart.” he chuckles, gently cupping your face and leading you back towards him. he taps your chin gently, making sure you don’t look away.

“i want you to know im not playing around with you, or trying to get a small fling.” he says firmly. a smile tugs at your lips as you press closer, licking your dry lips. his words touched you, making you feel seen and happy that he would reassure you on such a sensitive topic.

“promise?” you grinned childishly, holding out your pinky finger with a hint of mirth. he holds back a laugh and nods, holding out his own pinky. you both shake your pinkies while giggling.

the smell of burnt cookies catches his attention and he turns to the counter, frowning at the sight. they were slightly burnt with the edges black and the chocolate chips all gooey. it still looked edible, in a way, but definitely not the outcome you wanted.

“did my excellent kissing skills distract you too much?” he snorts at the sight, picking one up them carefully and narowing his eyes.

“shut up,” you roll your eyes at him he scans the cookie before hesitantly taking a bite out of the one of limited edible-looking portions.

he chews for a moment before smiling at you, taking another bite.

“not too shabby.” he nudges you playfully.

you can’t help but chuckle, curling up in his side and hesitantly taking a cookie from the stack. you put it in your mouth and cringe at the burnt taste, frowning immediately.

“this sucks.” you huff with a pout, putting it back on the tray. you glance at him and feel a warm blush spread across your face again, scanning his figure in his uniform and curly hair. he looked so good in your kitchen.

“hey, everyone’s first try is never the best.” he comforts, stepping back up to you with a comforting smile. he gently pets your hair, wanting nothing more then to hold you for hours and play with your locks. he doesn’t miss the way your cute little face flushes the more he pampers you.

“..this was my fourth time.” your defeated tone immediately makes him chuckle.

[whimsylace]

tim headcanons? 🥺

TIM SHEPARD HEADCANONS ⋆♱✮♱⋆

jay. jay you evil mf. ilysm😈 okay so i only have 17 rn but i’ll def write like fifty more . hope u enjoy pookie !! (also u weren’t expecting this very aesthetic very awesome very high level format were you. yeahf. ive become COOL.)

— he has unnecessarily loud footsteps.

— he appreciates his gang but never shows it. one day he said “hey fellas,, youve been doin’ a good job durin’ rumbles lately. im proud to have yall as my gang🙏”. and everyone stared at him wide eyed cause they honestly thought he hated them💀💀

— when he was a kid he used to pray every night that curly would get kidnapped n shit because he hated his ass☠️☠️curly was one of those really annoying toddlers

— he loses his jacket ALL THE DAMN TIME. (its mostly cause curly always steals it to look cool and dal just takes it for fun whenever)

— tim and darry understand each other. they both have dead parents/a dead parent and both had to take care of their kid siblings

— tim and darry also frequently talk to eachother🔥 sometimes darry finds tim asleep on the curtis couch™️ or its the opposite, & they end up chatting.

— ^they talk about parents, taking care of their siblings, and dally. (will elaborate further one day.)

— i think like. tims responsible and more mature compared to the others, right? BUT HES STILL 18. PLEAHS. HE ISNT A DAD. HE HASNT ACCEPTED HIS FATE LIKE DARRY (😭im sorry ily dar) HE IS STILL A HOOD WHO HAS FUN N SHIT DAWG!!!!!!!

— ^like ok imagine how curly always thinks tims like boring n old and all but after the rumble everyone in the reformatorys talking ab it and he hears how tim like crushed 5 guys’ skulls so hes just like 😨😨 (he then proceeds to show off the fact that THATS HIS BROTJER🔥🔥🔥)

— ^like guys even in the book pony says hes “constantly reckless” LIKE CMON. ((okay the main reason i wrote thsi was because i read this fic thingy and tim called dal “kid” even though theyre a year apart.wtf!! tim is not that boys old man!!!!))

— he steals angelas hair conditioners n other stuff because they smell good and make his hair soft🗣️

— he knows how to cook a few recipes, since his mom was never really there and he had to feed curly and angela somehow.

— ^curly calls his cooking ass but devours it every time (he would eat anything tbh)

— he lights fireworks n firecrackers n shit with dal

— was a demon as a middle schooler.

— hes really overprotective of his car. will not let anyone get near it or drive it. dal knows this; which is why he makes sure to slash his tires every 2-3 business days😇

— his nose used to be really straight but now its crooked as fuck cause hes broken it three fucking times😭😭

FOLLOW ME FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THIS🔥🔥🗣️🗣️💯💯🙏🙏

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Hands of Time 1-2

Ah yes, a Wu-doesnt-tell-them-shit season

Oh wait!

Thats every season.

COLES HUMAN AGAIN????

HES NOT A GHOST?!?!?!?

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN

Why does ninjago give us such little context clues. First ronin now this??!?!?

Okay, did some google searching. And the whole goddamn movie Day of the Departed isn’t on Netflix?!?!?!?!

Brb gonna watch it.

For anyone who doesnt have Tubi or amazon: wcofun.net has Day of the Departed

Alright we’re back, I understand whats going on now.

Nya: If I could go back in time, Id tell Mr Saunder we wouldn’t be able to help with the museum…

Zane: Remember Nya, we went back in time once. Things like that aren’t to be taken lightly

Nya: Its a form of expression Zane 🙄

Fjsnfjdirnfjd such subtle foreshadowing

Nya and Kai immediately retelling the story of their parents after they see a portrait, to remind the audience, is hilarious to me

Mr Saunder, museum guy: Refreshing time! hot sweaty work deserves a cool drink!

Kai: Thanks!

Mr Saunders: Enjoy the pickled beet tea!

Nya, Kai, and Lloyd: (Spit it out coughing)

Cole: …

Cole (drops the cup): Oops…! New hands! So clumsy…

Jay: (shrugs and chugs it)

Wait

Waitwaitwaitwait

Ik who Mr Saunders is IK WHO MR SAUNDERS IS

god I just know im gonna be so confused this season. I never deal with time travel shows well.

Ronin and Dareth are helping Misako carry boxes to the new temple 🥺

Dareth and Ronin gossiping and getting impressed over Nyas samurai X suit is so cute

Dareth (wearing the helmet): look out world! Heres comes Samurai D!!!

Misako and Ronin: …

Dareth: What?

Dareth: …

Dareth: The D is for Dareth.

I wish Wu would fight more, hes genuinely good at it

Misako: Dareth please take that off.

Ronin: Allow- (Weird timey thing happens) me…

Ronin: When did I get on top of Dareth… 🤨

Time went forwards FOR A MINUTE?!?!

Misako: its like deja vu but in reverse…

Thats actually a great way to explain it

Jay freaking out over the loud beeping alarm when it doesn’t seem to affect anyone else is the autistic experience.

Zane: Hmmm… this is surprising.

Jay: No, no its not! Ive always had sensitive ears and—

Zane: I meant-

HES AUTISTIC YOUR HONOR

Jay: Oh! temporal energy, of course, EVERYONE knows thats, uh… powerful!

Kai: You, have no idea what temporal means, do you?

Jay:…

Jay: I do not.

HFBSJBFJSBR

Acronix: Control time, control everything…

I mean hes not wrong

Jay just wants to go home 😭

Jay: UGHHHH theres no one at the old monastery! Zanes probably malfunctioning.

Zane:…

Zane: Self diagnostic says negative

Jay (smacks zane over the head): How about now 😁

Zane: No. 🤨

Jay, after complaining and begging them all to go home: WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??!?!? TO THE OLD MONASTERY!

Wu: I- I made a mistake…

Wu why are you so shocked you make a LOT of mistakes

Lloyd: Jay! What are you doing!

Jay (jumps off destineys bounty): HEY! Hey you! Im looking for someone! Spinjitzu master, this tall, long beard, goes by the name Wu?

Acronix: Cant say ive seen him.

Jay: hm! Thats odd… cause judging by all the slash marks here! I think you have.

That was such good line delivery

The way he way his voice was exaggeratedly high and happy and then his last sentence went down a notch and he brought out his nunchucks.

This is why hes my favorite character

Its nice that Cole has faith in Jay

Too bad hes gonna watch Jay get fucking wiped

Nya (after getting totaled): sometimes I wish I was still samurai x instead of a ninja…

God it hurts so much to be reminded that Nya never truly wanted to be a ninja

Jay: Wait! Who put you in charge! Why cant I help put out the flames?

JAY… BUDDY…

Lloyd: You really think electricity is gonna stop fire?

Jay:…

Jay: good point.

Jay your better than this 😭

Actually. On second thought. Your really not.

Jay (talking about the monastery): burned down again… man this place just cant catch a break can it.

TRUE.

COLE SAVED WU!!!!

Cole. Why are you grabbing him with your lava hands.

Wu: There is so much to tell you…

Yeah no shit.

Misako and Wu: (flirting as she pours him healing tea)

The ninja: 😐

All the ninja: (rapidly asking questions)

Jay: Who ate my pudding cup?!?!?

Everyone:…

Jay: What?… he said we could ask any questions!

Nya and Kais parents cheek bones are high and regal as fuck. Like damn.

Why does EVERY villain feel like theyre entitled in ruling ninjago

Do you know how HARD that is????

To rule a fucking country?!?!?!

Honestly. Yes. The time power Is the most powerful element. But they arent entitled to everything because of it 🤨🤨🤨

I NEED Acronixs hair right now.

God their dynamic is so funny. Can you imagine your biological twin being 40 years older than you 😭😭😭

How did Krux live 40 years in disguise and solitude and not gain the wisdom that came with age. Like my guy did not contemplate his existence AT ALL.

I dont remember but does newer ninjago episodes remove Lloyds rectangle mouth and Wus vacant yellow one?

Please tell me they do.

I NEEEEED a spin off series of Wus and Garmadons early adventures

…

Do they seriously think they actually defeated Acronix. Did it not cross their minds ONCE that he escaped?????

AAAWWWW jay and Nya are so cute now :)

Jays such a flirt he loves her sm 😭

HFNSJBFJD KAI.

Kai (walking in on jay and Nya about to kiss): hey guys- WOAH SORRY TO INTERRUPT IDIDNTSEEANYTHING (covers his eyes)

Kai: Theres something you need to see! (Turns around with his eyes covered and slams into a wall)

I love Kai sm 🥰

Cyrus borg is so great :))))

Zane: if we want to decide who gets to stop this new samurai, i suggest we assign each of ourselves a digit, then manually engage in a cube with graphical representation of each number, go make a random, unbiased selection.

Everyone:

Zane: Roll dice.

HFNDJTBDJFNBR

Zane can just be so funny for literally no reason 😭😭😭

Gayle gossip (news woman): Ive never seen this much destruction before! Well- i mean, i have. But its been a while! And you never really get used to it….

Just another day in ninjago 🙃

Snakes.

Theyre using snakes.

AGAIN.

WHY.

IM SO TIRED OF THESE FUCKING SNAKES USE SOMETHING ELSE GODDAMMIT

Acronix and Krux are true sibling representation.

Kai: Okay! I dont wanna braaag, but the other day I stopped an elemental master of TIME. So i think I can handle a lousy samurai-

Kai: (Gets fucking totaled)

Cole: (uses his lava earth punch thing)

(Samurai Snakes fall apart)

Jay: YOU DISINTEGRATED HIM?!?!?!?

Cole: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!

Okay but WHERE did Krux find these snakes.

Zane helping out Pixals dad (cyrus borg) is actually so sweet

Awwww I remember this part

Water and electricity stop them!!!!!

WAIT WHAT NO WHAT HAPPENED TO ZANE

Krux: I already have my best blacksmiths on making more armor.

No. It is NOT who I think it is.

Istg they better not have imprisoned Nya and Kais parents.

[darkclouud9]

as im watching cleo and etho's secret life episodes all i can think is "damn, cloud is eating good" lol

wdym I'm completely normal about this SLASH JAY

PUFF I AM SHAKING YOU I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM WHATSOEVER WAAAAA

it took 3 seasons for us to finally get a solid Cletho team up I am biting everything in my path, om nom nom nom >:D

EATING SO GOOD SO TRUE. THEYRE FINALLY REAL !!! THEYRE NOT DIVORCED !!! THEY LOVE EACH OTHER !!! THEY GAVE EACH OTHER THEIR HEARTS !!!

I feel like I'm specifically going to watch Cleo's episode 20 thousand times, their episode was so cool. urghghghhgghgghhhg. love them so so much they're so fun.

still going insane over them when Gem and the Scotts are there and they completely defend each other sobbign. I HAD TO PAUSE AND STARE AT THE WALL WHEN CLEO SAID THEYD NEVER LEAVE ETHO, BUT WHEN I WENT BACK TO SEE IF I HEARD THAT RIGHT, I HEARD WHAT ETHO SAID 😭 they're so ❤️❤️ :)

[absolutelyzoned]

i think you are very awesome, but also very weird. (weird is a good thing) i think you were one of the first? people i became mutuals with and one of the ones a interact with the most without dming with.

i think about your post of "ultrakill yourself" a lot and how you said you had a problem with saying it way to often. this was early on in your ultrakill hyperfixation, which i was here right before you got super into it.

i followed you for mer, and instead got you talking hornily about robots, overall i am extremely happy i did follow you bc i like the unexpected (to a degree, im still neurodivergent😭, this is a good type of unexpected though).

i know you said slash jay but i am so fucking bored i might as well. btw i wrote this 4 minutes after you posted that but my wifi cut out so it's not gonna send til later, just know that i was like right on time.

HHELP THANK YOU SO MUCH

[sskklvr]

I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THIRTEEN WHOLE PEOPLE FOLLOW THIS PLAYLIST

SPOTIFY HAS TO BE GLITCHING OUT, WHAT

[apollos-boyfriend]

biting and clawing I did NOT figure out how to use paypal at 10:30 on a monday night to get ‘heh’d at I’m losing my mind (slash jay but i am on the verge)

foolish hates gay people REAL

[jack-spawn]

For the gnr asks 😇 11, 13, and 18!

11. Think About You, it’s a song that always gets glossed over when u take appetite

13. I have unnecessarily smooth straight hair so I’ll ALWAYS pick Slash’s hair cos’ I’d love to have some curls 🥺😭

18. I have no idea… I know that sounds so vague. Honestly I went from hating him to loving him so there are still things about him that make me question every once in a while why do I even love him so much?

But of course, now he has come a long way and I don’t think it’s okay to still hold onto the stuff from past. It’s not easy but it is what it is.

So if I put those feelings aside, I love him. You can take all sorts of love in the world and add some more. That’s what… I feel for him.

Thank you for sending this Jay @axlsrose ♥️♥️✨

[mineshaftss]

hello hermitblr! i have some good news AND some bad news :(

the good news is that i have a new blog!! i dont know if anyone has made a @xisuma-but-everywhere blog but since the name wasnt taken, i decided to make it !! :D

the pictures i upload of xisuma wont be daily, just whenever i feel like it. :> i honestly i know we all called ourselves xisuma stans as a joke before but i feel like it wasn't slash jay 😭 /lht

.. to ruin the mood, ive decided to stop "keralis but everywhere" :( keralis still has a beautiful face!! the blog just became inactive.

though, i'll still be holding onto the username. so if you were looking to start a keralis but everywhere blog yourself, by all means, dm me!

maybe we can work something out ;)

alright, that's it for now!! buh-bye hermitblr o/

[seekerstone]

riverdale thoughts s1e6

- i don’t pay attention to episode names usually but this one is called “faster, pussycats! kill, kill!” so uh. make of that what you will 

- wait that’s right where is jughead living now D: all those times i made fun of him for hanging out at pop’s so much and now i learn he’s homeless

- BETTY WHY ARE YOU WEARING SHOES ON THE BED. HOW WHITE DO YOU NEED TO BE 

- mrs cooper passive aggressively stirring her coffee while betty sits there like :[ and jughead just chows tf down on some pancakes and fruit? we love a singleminded king 

- i love that he asked “do you guys have a bathroom i could use?” bc given how neurotic everyone in this town seems to be, i feel like No sorry :) is actually a plausible response 

- ‘TWAS ALL A RUSE??? now that is sacrifice for the sake of the mission. jughead is really setting himself up to get reamed by the sheer force of mrs cooper’s :) all so betty can snoop through her purse

- oh my god no archie don’t play in front of people my secondhand embarrassment can’t take it!!!! if ONE person so much as twitches i’m skipping the scene entirely 

- SUDDEN WOLF HEAD TRAUMA? WHAT? 

- oh you know you’re in deep when you hit the “skip back 10 seconds” bc you thought you saw jughead walking by in the background 😬 it wasn’t him btw

- SLEUTHSTER? god i hope that’s a real search engine so i can use it to google all my dumb math questions 

- so the sisters of quiet mercy is the cult, yeah? slash the organ farm front? i didn’t realize that was a season one arc if so 

- “except, actually, yes you do, thanks to a certain veronica ex machina” i like that once an episode someone says something that is still batshit insane and not even close to human speech and yet is still clever nonetheless

- BE THE JAY TO MY BAE? SHOOT ME NOW, I WAS WRONG, I TAKE IT ALL BACK. VERONICA DO NOT TALK FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

- oh my god we’re a pussycat down... i repeat, we’re a pussycat down!!! someone get some it’s not unusual playing while we wait for her to come back!!!

- archie’s dad asking mrs lodge (no i will not be consistent abt names, now or ever) to help sweettalk the mayor into giving him the contract since he doesn’t know who the buyer is when... it’s mrs lodge. we’re getting into onion like layers over here

- OH MY GOD? VERONICA BABY I’M WITH YOU WHAT THE FUCK SUDDEN MARITAL AFFAIRS??? WH?? 

- AND STILL IN FRONT OF A GODDAMN WINDOW DOES NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE TOWN KNOW HOW TO BE SNEAKY 

- even josie has mommy issues :( what’s in the water in this town (besides maple syrup apparently) 

- veronica tells her mom immediately when she sees her doing something and as someone with pathological liar syndrome this makes me VERY uncomfortable. you aren’t even going to dance around it a little? tf 

- “so what can i do to help?” maybe stop cheating on your husband/fooling around with her crush’s dad? that’s a good start, or so i’m told

- OH NO poor girl gets her first dose of mommy issues and then finds out said crush has replaced her that’s pretty brutal. veronica maybe i do love you after all 

- “you...” (sputters) “ginger judas” she really has such a way with words

- valerie immediately wanting to be anywhere else is so funny and so relatable. take me with you 

- SHE’S SO UNCOMFORTABLE 

- VERONICA IS A PUSSYCAT NOW? UM? once again this show is so delightfully juvenile sometimes with revenge

- abrupt return to polly’s storyline okay, hi jughead i missed you <3

- betty adjusting her ponytail for strength sdjflskgjhsfj why have i done the same thing 

- THIS IS TOO LONG I AM WRITING TOO MANY WORDS. STOP HAVING THOUGHTS DAMMIT

- [insert appropriately shocked reaction here to polly being pregnant bc i just learned that 5 minutes ago and was shocked in a group chat instead]

- oh no that’s why jason was running away

- oh NO polly doesn’t know D:>

- sure let’s rock now why not. i’m emotionally ready for it after seeing polly melt down 

- this is deeply upsetting and i am very disturbed but also jughead’s little face in the background going D:> with me as polly gets dragged away screaming is amusing i’m sorry to say it. me too jughead. i’m also wondering what the hell i got myself into 

- okay i closed the browser accidentally and lost 15 minutes of reactions uhh let me see if i can recap from memory 

- archie’s dad is so good 😭😭 mrs lodge & especially betty’s parents are not 😭😭 mostly i remember fawning over jughead and then screaming that: 

- THEY KISSED??? WHAT???????? BETTY WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF CATASTRAPHIZING ABT HER FUCKED UP FAMILY AND HE JUST KISSED HER??? 

- wait i also had a bit with her mom. i’ll find it again. OH RIGHT “you don’t have to believe us. we’re your parents.” my point being that she’s missing the closer there bc like... that’s not how implied threats work? you need to connect the two thoughts or it’s just... words. disappointing

- ANYWAY HE REALLY JUST KISSED HER??? 

- i have to stop saying “that happened so much sooner than i thought it would!!!” bc clearly everything is going to (except toni TT_TT) and i should accept that but like SO SOON?? i hadn’t even realized he liked her yet??? 

- (but also on my forcible rewatch i see now that he’s visibly gathering his courage pleaseeee i love him 🥺)

- betty: (mid kiss) “the car!” jughead: “wow. that’s what you’re thinking about in the middle of our moment?” well maybe if you didn’t KISS her RANDOMLY while she’s anxiety spiraling abt her SISTER 

- his smile when he says it is so cute though UGH 

- wait is she really not going to address it at all??? he just KISSED HER and she’s like Okay so abt my sister, 

- i thought veronica was gonna get booted by val AGAIN but no they just added val back in like having two back up singers isn’t going to cause any issues. okay

- YOU HAVE A PHONE DON’T JUST TAKE PICTURES OF THE CAR FULL OF DRUGS / MURDER VICTIM’S CLOTHES FUCKING CALL THE POLICE!! CALL 911!!! DON’T JUST STAND THERE

- i can’t believe it took me so long to realize this but why is archie’s storyline exactly the same as troy from hsm. like. music AND sports? we’ve seen this before loves... 

- the car is gonna be GONE bc there was someone WATCHING i’m STRESSED

- WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW JUST FUCKING KISS EACH OTHER WITHOUT WARNING. WHAT 

- oh fuck polly D: this episode is NOT pulling any punches with the emotional whiplash that’s so AGH? the car’s on fire, polly’s gone... fuck man. tune in next time i guess