#this is sooooo simple because i have other stuff i wanna be doing today and i never pre plan bday boards lol

[kingdomstims]

-> 💚 Happy birthday Arthur! 💚

[ID: A 3x3 stimboard of 8 GIFs surrounding a central image. GIF 1: Someone folding green slime over itself with one hand. GIF 2: Green frosting being piped in swirls onto a cake. GIF 3: A vinyl record filled with green liquid slowly spinning on a record player. GIF 4: Water dripping onto a bright green lilypad. Image: Arthur from the kpop boy group "The Kingdom" wearing a fluffy green bucket hat, neon green shirt, and pinching his cheek. GIF 5: Neon green paint being stirred. GIF 6: Someone wiggling a fluffy green antenna on an alien stuffed animal back and forth. GIF 7: Neon green nail polish being poured into a container. GIF 8: Green slime being folded over onto itself. End ID]

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[rigelmejo]

march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved. 

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side). 

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end. 

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure  得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for  地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[stemcellee]

In this post, I’m going to talk about the study methods that have worked for me and that I learned during my time at UCLA!

(see another post like this about being healthy here)

Short Term Productivity

Use a stickynote/index card and write a couple goals for today only. Don’t write too many or you will feel overwhelmed! Stick it on your laptop or planner or notebook (somewhere you will see it)

Have a whiteboard at your desk and write down things you need to remember (like a simple equation or some vocab)

While waiting for something (the bus, your coffee, the shower to warm up) have something to recite in your head (probably something you already know, but would like to reALLY KNOW)

When you read, try to tie big concepts to things you would remember easily (like acronyms or symbols) like for example i remember gen chem oxidation as OIL RIG: Oxidation is Loss (of electrons) and Reduction is Gain (of electrons) and I remember the first four unordinary hydrocarbons from Me Eat Peanut Butter (lmao): Methane, Ethane, Propane, Butane

Longer Term Productivity

Plan out your weeks!!! Plan when you will study on each day of the week and keep track of due dates

Make it a habit to do homework/assignments AS SOON AS YOU CAN (like right after you snack or something after classes)

Try not to think about how long you will study and rather think about the number of topics you will study

Don’t stop until you feel confident in your knowledge OTHERWISE YOULL JUST LOSE IT IT ALL 

Keep your notes organized because you never know when something is gonna bite you in the butt again in the future

Review everyday. Like, Serioouslyyyy. It helps a lot.

Read before going to bed instead of being on your phone for 400 hours :C I THINK ITS TRUE THAT THE STUFF YOU READ BEFORE BED STAYS WITH YOU BETTER BC YOU GET TO SLEEP ON IT

Try to keep your area quiet or have only white background noise because if someone is talking about the weather and you’re studying math, best believe you’ll only remember the weather

Reading a Textbook

Most of the time, you don’t need to read the introduction paragraphs.

Read the bolded titles to see what you will be getting into

Before class you can skim lightly!! It will help you not feel lost in class

AFTER CLASS you will now FOCUS YOUR READING ON WHAT WAS SAID IN CLASS because most of the time, class-covered topics ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT! save yoself some time!!

When reading after class, do NOT just read. If you go over something that makes you go ??? in even the slightest way, read it again to understand. Look it up. Do it in THAT moment because you’re gonna forget to do it later.

If you don’t wanna read the whole darn book because ur lazy (like me) or you are cramming, READ!! THE!! SUMMARY!!! 

The back of the book might have some seriously useful appendixes 

Try not to skip the diagrams and pictures lol they’re there for a reason

Taking Notes in Class

dont be on your phone or whatever during class time Like actually PAy attention because if you learn it now, you won’t have to try to learn it again later (you can be on your phone later)

Take down everything written on the boards FOR SURE because if the professor/teacher thinks it’s important to write it, you better think it’s important too

Be an engaged listener! Don’t let it slide straight thru ur head

Try not to scribble your notes so you can read it later

Make CLEAR HEADERS for the topics so you can find those notes quickly

Def make friends in class in case you miss something on the notes ://

Doing Practice Problems and Homework

Get yoUR HOMEWORK DONE FIRST OF ALL

Homework is seriously a great study tool because your instructor assigned that FOR A REASON (aka it’s prob gonna be tested on)

Try to know what you are doing before you start the homework so that you don’t feel lost as heck doing it

When doing practice problems, if you have the answers, don’t be afraid to look at the answer the first time around if you don’t know how to do it. IVE SELF TAUGHT MYSELF SOOOOO MUCH by just looking at the answer to a question.

DONT RELY ON THE ANSWERS THO

Don’t memorize how to do the practice problems, you should memorize the method of solving the problem and understand each step clearly (and understand WHY you do that step!!!) just in case the test pulls some funky stuff on you

The more you can do, the better. But don’t be sleepy and do them because you won’t really retain anything

Other Random Things

My organic chem professor actually did a funny study on sleep and test scores. He said on his final exam he asked “How many hours of sleep did you get last night?” 

and like obviously the more hours of sleep reported, generally the higher the student scored on the exam

SLEEEEPING IS GOOD FOR YOUR LEARNING

WHEN YOU SLEEP AND HIT THE REM CYCLE, YOUR BRAIN PROCESSES THE INFORMATION BETTER and it will really stay with you. So yall need to sleep. Don’t do the all nighters. You won’t remember anything

anyways like nike you should Just Do It

I hope you guys find this useful!! Remember that everyone has different needs and preferences, so take these tips as just tips and not rules!! Experiment with things, see what you like best, see what gives you the best scores. 

Good luck with everything~ thank you for reading!

[imaginetheliar]

How about reader who makes Ouma a lot of food because they're concerned with his weight? (Boy needs to eat)

Hey hey, Mod Kaede back from the dead!! I’m sorry, life’s been… really busy lately, but I’m super glad because our new mods are awesome and didn’t leave this place too barren!! I’m gonna try to be more active now, because I think things are finally starting to calm down? Regardless, this prompt was a lot of fun to write! Sorry it took so long to get to!

As always, I sincerely hope you enjoy!!

Your boyfriend always wore loose-fitting and oversized clothes, so you could never really tell anything was wrong. Still, you found it interesting how, whenever the two of you would hang out or go on a date, he’d bag up his food “for later”. Once in a blue moon you two would hang out at his place, but you’d be so caught up in the moment and spending time with him that you’d never even think to look in the kitchen and see if he still had the countless amount of leftovers sitting in the fridge, or in the trash.

Shopping was a fun activity for you and Ouma. It basically became a competition to make the worst outfit possible, and try it on in the dressing room to show each other when you came out. On one particular shopping trip, Ouma formed an amalgamation of cursed jeans (it can be the clear knees, the double waist, the skirt… thing, take your pick), and a skin-tight leather shirt of an unidentifiable color. You have no idea why either of these items were being sold at a respectable clothing outlet, but the laughs that you were getting out if it with your boyfriend was worth the confusion.

Ouma came out of the dressing room wearing the outfit, and it was just about as ugly as you expected. But… what caught your attention most wasn’t the fashion felony before you. What really worried you was the lack of torso the leather shirt clung to. Had your boyfriend always been this skinny? And if so, how did you never notice?

You would definitely confront him later, don’t want to cause a scene in public- actually, you weren’t going to confront him at all. Knowing Ouma, he probably already knew you noticed how skinny he really was, but confirming that fact for him was only going to make him flee.

You laughed at his outfit, and decided on both of your behalves that it was probably time to go home. That would give you more time to think. With an intelligent boyfriend like yours, you needed to carefully decide every action you took whenever it was something serious like this, because you were genuinely concerned for his wellbeing. Well, you’ve bested him before, who’s to say you can’t do it again?

Settled down back in the comfort of your own home, you mulled over what the best course of action may be. He never ate when you two were out somewhere. Come to think of it, you could count the number of times you’ve actually seen him eat on your fingers. Being together with him for months now… that was alarming. Multiple ideas crossed your mind, but none seemed to be the perfect plan. It was really hard to figure the boy out.

The best scheme you could come up with was to feed him entirely homemade meals. He’s shown in the past that he’s not as careless as he tends to portray himself, and maybe the guilt for neglecting something you’ve made him will outweigh the want to not eat? With the best possible strategy set up, you go to bed that night, unsure but optimistic.

After a comfortable rest, you decide to text Ouma to see if he’d be willing to come over.

S/O-chan: Hey, Kokichi!ouma: hey is for horses, yknow!!ouma: neigh~S/O-chan: I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place today? I’m not planning on doing anything, so we can just chill and stuff.S/O-chan: I’m just gonna pretend that awful joke didn’t just come from you.ouma: hmm…….. i’ll have to think abt it. i WAS planning on kidnapping a governor today……S/O-chan: Can the governor wait? Or do you have a bomb ticking down right now that you need him to be in the room for?ouma: i suppose it’s not time sensitive!!! i’ll be over in a bit, my beloved [S/O]-chaaan~~!!!

Plan “Make Kokichi a Homemade Meal so He Isn’t Concerningly Skinny” was a go.

You opened your pantry to see what would be on today’s menu. After much deliberation, you decided on something nice and simple, to test the waters; a batch of fries. Nothing too heavy.

Making fries was easy, if not a long process. You started off by hand-cutting the potatoes, lacking the proper equipment to produce them en masse, but nothing you couldn’t finish in ten minutes. After all the fries were cut out, you had to boil the bad boys, so you wouldn’t just be working with raw… potato. This was the most time-consuming part, so you sat around for a while, half-expecting your doorbell to ring any minute. It never did, so you moved on. After taking the potatoes out of the boiling water, you patted them dry, and placed the soon-to-be-fries in a deep fryer. Twice. Yes, you fried them twice, because you’re cool like that.

They had finally finished cooking, but Kokichi was still nowhere to be seen… not for long, though. Within minutes, a familiar ring flooded through your house. What timing!

You answered the door, seeing exactly who you were expecting. “Hey, come in!”

“Oh, really? I can come in? I was just thinking I was gonna stand around on your porch all day… but coming in sounds a lot more fun!” Ouma stepped inside, sliding his shoes off. “Something smells good.”

“Yeah, I got bored waiting for you, so I made some french fries,” you led him into the kitchen.

“Geez, I didn’t take that long…”

“You kinda did.” The plate of fries was on the counter, and Ouma stared at it a bit. “All homemade.”

“Homemade, huh?” Ouma raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know you were a chef.”

“I’m full of surprises~” you replied, resting your elbows on the counter. “Not like I’m gonna eat all these myself. Go ahead, try one.”

Ouma reached for a fry, and the lack of hesitance surprised you a bit. He chewed on it for a while, seeming unimpressed. Your heart sank.

“… These fries…” he took another one, “are horrible!” Ohh, right. He was lying.

“Then why are you still eating them?”

“‘Cause I’m a masochist, dummy!”

Suuure.

You both ended up eating half of the plate of fries each, and this was the first step to your mission being a success. You were honestly proud of yourself, and when Ouma left, you rewarded yourself with some ice cream.

You decided it’d be in your best interest to look up some recipes the next day.

After that, you’d cook Ouma more meals made with love. Sometimes you’d invite him over to eat them fresh, or sometimes you’d go to his house with the food in a large container. Other times, you might even meet him in public with a bag of goodies, like cookies or brownies. He always seemed to like the sweets. You’re not sure where the change was. Did he just eat your food so you wouldn’t feel bad, like his infamous kind lies? Or did he just prefer your food over everyone else’s? Or maybe you were over-analyzing, and he really DID eat, just in private? If that was the case, maybe he was just too shy to eat in front of others. Maybe if you took him out to a restaurant on a date now, he’d eat? No, but Ouma’s not a shy person… the situation seemed more and more convoluted, but at least he was eating.

You got a notification on your phone a few weeks after that first french fry date.

ouma: guess what i got!S/O-chan: What?ouma: guess!!S/O-chan: Another horse mask?ouma: what??? no!ouma: wait how did you know about the first one????S/O-chan: What did you get?ouma: sooooo remember that leather shirt? that was not-quite-green but not-quite brown????S/O-chan: Did you buy that thing?ouma: yuppers!!!!!!!!

He then sent you a photo of him wearing the shirt, the camera at a wonky angle. He was holding up a peace sign.

ouma: it kinda grew on me~

Of course, he was lying. He liked to pull off fashion that no one else could; though, to be honest, this was too much for even him to be able to try and conquer.

You looked at the photo again, though. He was still skinny as ever. Even after all of this cooking… what was wrong?

S/O-chan: Hey, you look pretty skinny in that picture…ouma: but i look good, riiiiiight?????????S/O-chan: You always look good, but are you okay?ouma: awwww, is [S/O]-chan really that worried for me!?!??!???!?!?ouma: well, if you must know, my metabolism is through the roof!!!! never been a pound over 105 :)))))

That made… a surprising amount of sense. Then again, you had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth or not… you just decided to believe him, since it would help you rest easier. That mystery had finally been solved, and you felt comforted knowing that nothing was wrong with your boyfriend.

S/O-chan: Oh, okay! Makes sense.S/O-chan: By the way, if you wanna come over, I was thinking of making a cake tomorrow.

[sequoiann]

❧ h.js | assassin!au

pairing; seventeen joshua x reader

genre; bulletpointed, assassin!joshua, fluff, doctor!reader, mentions of blood

collab with; @kpop–fics

tags; @lunarjihoon

notes; my asssassin!aus are getting waaay to fluffy for a supposedly dark au i’m sorry everyone AHAHA but hope you like this one!!

joshua assassin!au

did you think you were gunna get some dark shua

SIKE

jkjk

he’s the medic ??? of the team 

idk what you wanna call it but

he basically cures everyone on the team

and prevents them from dying lol

no i mean seriously joshua is seen as the florence nightingale of the group 

but ok he does go on the missions too

since he has the most advanced knowledge on medicine and stuff like that ,, he can make doses that can kill their targets

basically poison doses lol

andddd he’s always busy 

like 

he doesn’t have time to rest 

AT ALL 

because

every day 

like every single day

after every single mission

there would be at least one wounded member on the team 

“smh guys can’t you be more careful” 

“YOU TRY IT THEN” 

“...nvm” 

he usually does the behind-the-scenes work and not the actions aha

& he usually gets really worried when someone gets injured bc he knows how bad it could get

it could go from 

“seungkwan got a scratch on his cheek”

to

“SEOKMIN HAS HIS INTESTINES RIPPED OUT JOSHUA SAVE HIM” 

like what the fuck guys

well 

no matter how busy it could get 

it was something he did like doing 

he liked the feeling of being important to the team 

and 

the fact that he could make the members feel better

but surprise surpriseeeeee

he actually didn’t plan on becoming part of an assassin team 

all he wanted was to become a doctor 

but 

since his group of friends pulled him into this 

,,,

why not 

they were all childhood friends and had promised to stay as a group when they were still really young

and their friendship had remained strong throughout the years

so sure

they need someone to look after them anyways

it was kinda funny to imagine that they would be nowhere without him 

seokmin would probably have his kidney hanging out of his body or something

but today, it was joshua himself who got injured 

they were on a mission to kill the president of a corrupted company

so all of them went,, since the building was really big

and jeonghan stayed in the car as standby

jihoon too,,, he was just monitoring them aft hacking the building’s cctvs

soo for those in the building

they were moving tgt, although pretty spaced out

joshua lagged behind the group bc he was on the lookout

but suddenly someone just grabs him from the back and joshua managed to kick him off

but that man came back and just flung him

shua was practically thrown against a window + shelf while trying to attack back

and there was a huGEE gash running up his upper arm

resulting in his arm bleeding a waterfall of blood

apparently the company had higher security than they had predicted so

abort mission for real

when they were in the car + when they got back, joshua couldn’t do anything bc ,,,

i mean ,,,

how tf is he supposed to treat himself

soonyoung was just pressing a thick cloth onto the wound but it wasn’t of much help really

everyone else would be able to help with minor wounds but this one was asdfgkl

,,, joshua wouldn’t be able to help even if it happened on another member

it was that bad

and ok jeonghan knew how to stitch wounds up 

but they don’t have anesthetic

so he couldn’t stitch the wound up bc joshua would probably die from the pain first before dying from blood loss

and joshua was just getting paler and paler by the minute

this wound just couldn’t get treated by any of them

“i think we need to get you to a hospital”

cue joshua pouting bc he never really liked hospitals

the doctors never really cared

shua had a few hospital visits when he was younger

none of them being good experiences

like omg the doctors act as if everything can be cured by ice packs

got a bruise? have an ice pack. 

have a stomach ache? have an ice pack. 

broke your neck? have a fucking ice pack.

like do i look like a moron to you

ok back to the story

seungcheol was kinda hesitant at first but 

1. he knew their assassin group was pretty private so no one would recognize them 

2. shua was gonna die and

3. shua is screaming

ok not really screaming screaming

but making weird grunting noises

of pain

whatever 

he needed to live

the team needed him

so 

an hour later 

joshua and everyone else were in front of the local hospital 

andddd you worked there as a pretty experienced doctor

so! 

suddenly

that night

a horde of men just run into the hospital like a fucking tsunami was chasing them lmao

“is there a doctor available?!!!” 

you were the closest to them and you didn’t even have to ask who’s injured

bc this,,, brown-haired guy,,,, in the middle of all of them,,, being held up by 2 guys,,, was literally red

like i mean everything was red

except for his face which was ghostly !!! white !!!

but his clothes were soaked in his own blood and his flesh on his arm was cut open and it was so deep and just

omg it was really really gory

you were pretty shook

“did you guys murder someone or something??”

everyone just gave each other awkward glances 

like um techincally yes we did

you quickly led them to a room and did all the procedures

aka stitching of the wound

but you didn’t allow the whole group of them to follow you in bc you counted 13 of them in total like nonononono get out all of you

so only seungcheol followed

you stitched up joshua’s wound after injecting him with local anesthetic to numb the area

and seungcheol had to look away bc ew

joshua was still really pale tho like the amount of blood he lost was ,,, a lot ,,,

“i think he’s gonna have to stay here for a day or two,” you told seungcheol

seungcheol just nods and leaves and you try to call him back to sign the papers but he juST LEFT 

you were dumbfounded like okay so you’re just ?? gonna ?? leave your friend here ???

but joshua (you learnt his name from seungcheol while you were stitching up joshua’s wound) was asleep

and reasonably so

he would’ve been really weak and tired, considering how much blood he lost

you couldn’t help but stare at him for a while bc he,,, looked ,,, cute

there was a little frown on his face but he still looked pretty relaxed

and his features and everything were just so perfectly sculpted ajdskjfh

ok no y/n you’re a professional doctor stop it

so you let him sleep in the ward after updating his medical reports

and you were on night shift so you were gonna stay in the hospital through the night

you went on your daily rounds and settled more patients

but when you went to check back on joshua about 4 hours later

mEJIK

pOOf

hE wAs gONe

the hospital bed was empty ,,, with just a few cash notes lying on the sheets

o and a little handwritten note too

which just said “thanks for stitching up my wound & taking care of me”

and the amount of cash beside the note was the exact fee he had to pay

okay maybe a few dollars less but that didn’t really matter

what mattered was that hE wASN’T WELL ENOUGH TO LEAVE YET

the wound would open again if he does any strenuous activity omg

but that worry didn’t last very long bc you had other patients to take care of

you couldn’t keep him on your mind like that

fast forward a few weeks later

joshua’s wound !! has healed !!!

not completely but the stitches are out (yes he did it himself) and the wound’s pretty closed already

but he still wasnt in prefect condition so he was sent on a fairly simple mission

which involved killing someone again

but this target was hospitalized 

so it was an easy task

all joshua needed to do was to insert the poison,,, venom thingy,,,, into that person’s IV

but no 

it didn’t go as well as planned

he realized that the person was staying in the same hospital as he was previously

but he didn’t think much of it bc he was here for only a short while

and his identity wasn’t really recorded soOooO 

he just went into the target’s ward, acting as a visitor, a regular mask covering his nose and mouth

and a casual cap over his head

i mean he looked pretty normal

and the target was soundly sleeping

joshua pulled the tiny vile from his pocket, quietly grabbing the syringe from the nurse’ table at the corner of the room, filling it with the poison and injecting it into the IV

“what are you doing?” 

joshua threw the syringe under the bed and stuffed the empty vile into his butt pocket and turned around

shit 

out of all doctors, it had to be you

you ran over, pushing him aside, ripping the IV out of the patient’s arm

the patient had woken up, obviously alarmed and confused

joshua looked away, afraid of being recognized by both you and his target

he quickly turned and walked-jogged right out of the room

you quickly told the patient to just go back to sleep first and ran after joshua

but by the time you got out, you couldn’t see him anywhere 

so you just ran down the hallway, pulling out your phone and calling the hospital’s security.

“hello? someone just entered the---”

you didn’t finish your sentence

the door of the storeroom on your right opened and someone grabbed you, placing a hand over your mouth and pulling you in

your phone was snatched out of your hand and that person switched your phone off

the door got locked but the hand was removed from your mouth

you were about to scream but when you saw the perpetrator’s face ;;; 

“joshua....?” 

you recognized him almost immediately 

he was one of the patients you wouldn’t forget easily

besides, he just came in a few weeks ago

joshua smiles a little when you remembered him

“hey.”

“what the hell? why were you in the patient’s room? what did you put into the IV?” 

your voice was getting louder and louder, causing him to widen his eyes & place his hand over your mouth again

he shushes you

“stop speaking so loud!” 

you stare at him like ??? i’m speaking loudly?? you’re the one who just tried to kill my patient???

joshua couldn’t reveal anything so he just ,,

“that guy isn’t good.” 

you were so pissed like did i ask that ????

joshua just changes the topic suddenly like nothing happened 

and he thanked you for the other time

“i know i haven’t thanked you face to face yet, but thank you. it’s a lot better now.” 

you looked at his arm where the wound was, but it was covered by his sleeve so

nvm 

he smiled at you again and you wanted to scream at him like

stop !!! smiling at me !!!!!

he was so cute you really couldn’t take it 

and so you just snatched your phone from him and left the storeroom 

but not before joshua makes sure you “don’t tell anyone about anything” and “pretend he was never here”

like ok i totally can do that 

he honestly didn’t seem like a bad guy

he seemed to hv good reasons

but no your morals got to you

you had to report him

he nearly killed someone

but before going to the security, you went back to your patient’s room to check if he was fine

but the moment you stepped in

you got fuckign strangled

by your patient

he was shouting something like “are you from their team?! did you just try to kill me?!” 

you were just helplessly clawing at his hands while your lungs contracted

you panicked

but suddenly the pressure on your neck disappears and you just crUmble to the floor

joshua had kicked him in the face and he was sprawled on the floor now

joshua grabs another syringe that was from his jacket pocket and just stabbed it into the man’s neck 

and the man just went unconscious

you were still,,, on the floor,,, spluttering and wheezing

joshua rushed over to you 

“are you okay?” 

he pats you a bit, and he suddenly just reaches around your neck gently, his thumb caressing your sore skin

when you could finally breathe again, you were just

“what was that? did you kill him?” 

joshua shook his head.

“it was just a heavy dose of general anesthetic.” 

that was joshua’s back-up.

you heaved a sigh of relief ;;;  joshua would’ve gotten into huge trouble if the man died 

you got really suspicious of joshua bc of what the man had said to you so you started ,,, cautiously ,,,, questioning joshua

and joshua told you. bc he trusted that you wouldn’t do anything.

and you didn’t !!! bc he just saved your life ,,, he was obviously a good guy

everything he said made sense too sooo okay

so you became a new “partner” of his team

you always helped the members treat their wounds and everything whenever they got injured

it was fun

and joshua liked to make jokes about how “getting injured isn’t bad now, i get to see you” 

:”))))) 

[jess-the-vampire]

Tom Vs The Forces Of Evil (Au) Chapter 20

Previous/

Tom took a seat on his bed, back in his old room, and by old room he should say new and permanent room on earth. Turning it back was almost a joy in fact, he kinda missed it, the Diaz guest room had life once again from the plain white walls and simple setup it used to have. Tom's crown sat on his dresser, newly taken here from the castle, all his things were currently being cleared out in fact. Tom held the letter down in his hands, sighing, he wasn't sure whether he liked getting updates about his parents. He did like hearing about their improvements on trying to fix the damage the mewman royal society did to the, for years, but it was kind've bittersweet to think about them No matter how much better he'll get, he was never going to be his dad.

Tom threw the letter on the bedside table and took a long breath, he was wearing Marco's hoodie today, it was softer then usual thanks to Ms Diaz cleaning it up after Tom arrived back on earth. The Diazes were more then ecstatic for Tom's return, literally throwing him a party as soon as he walked in. Tom was starting to get used to this family throwing him parties whether he deserved it or not. Marco still saved him a slice of his birthday cake, and Tom ate it happily, despite it being a bit old and a lot less tasty then it would've been if things hadn't gone the way they had. Tom didn't care though, being back might  have felt surreal at first but he eased into it again. He got to leave his room when he wanted again, eat whenever, and all of his magic stuff for the most part wasn't being held from him. All the gifts his friends had given him for his birthday were here in his grasp again, and Star was at least kind enough to return his journal, which he swore Janna looked at beforehand. Marco got his wallet back at least, and Tom had a feeling he was planning to keep Janna's key as payback until Janna was seen using it to sneak into Marco's room days earlier. Star was more then excited for Tom to be back on earth, she called him every day now, sometimes to brag how the rescue of Tom got her in with the counsel and that she took what place the arrested king had recently. And well....the monsters were finally being approached with a new tone. Tom wasn't sure if it was the newly found displeasure of his family amoungst other mewmans or what, but it did sound as if his own people had recently had a slight bit of a new view on monsters after seeing their own. Tom smiled to himself, maybe if there was hope for him to not be treated like crap, he'd be able to provide some for others. He's finished putting on his eyeliner a few minutes ago, and his hair was messy under his hat. He wasn't sure if he was ready to leave yet, everything was still weird, it felt weird to be back. He was so sure he'd never come back and now here he was. He didn't know who he was more nervous to see, his friends who were worried sick when he left during his birthday party, the band setting up in the backyard, or Marco. Marco and him were friends still, but the kiss was something unresolved. "-we're bonded, and you know? I think that means good things for us.", Marco smiled happily, Tom blushed and nodded in agreement. "Pfftt, well, I guess if the almighty gods of whatever think we deserve to always be friends no matter what...I guess it's hard to be angry at that....", Marco smiled at that comment, "Let's just promise when supernatural things happen to us, we don't hide them from each other?". Tom nodded, "Yeah, let's not do that...but hey...marco?". "Yeah?" "I'm glad that...at least I got bonded to someone I'd like to spend time with for the rest of my stupid mortal days...", Marco grinned, "Me too..". Tom smiled warmly, that had only been a few days ago, finally talking about the moon and it took a load off of both of them. They even talked about Jackie, and Tom felt a lot better explaining his feelings to Marco then keeping them to himself. At least Marco wasn't angry at him, feelings weren't exactly things people can control easily or really help in general. Tom just needed help, he needed time to handle these emotions, and to express them healthily. The kiss however, that was a bit fuzzy for understandable reasons. Tom wasn't even sure what to make of that, was that even him, or was it something else? He still didn't quite know what that even was or that he could even remotely do that kind of thing, was Marco even remotely fine with it, he did kiss back didn't he? Did that mean they were dating now? Marco didn't seem upset about it.... Tom remembered his first kiss with Star, where he barely even had the courage to do it but did it anyway cause he didn't want to seem nervous. He was freaked out during that because he thought he was a bad kisser or Star wouldn't like him after, but at least then they were both trying to kiss each other. Tom wasn't pulling her into it in a giant bug state, and possibly not himself during it. "Tom?", Marco walked in, wearing his hoodie with a notice dress underneath this time around. He looked really happy to see Tom though, it's like the kiss thing only seemed to be bothering Tom and didn't bother Marco at all since it happened. I mean, this was Marco's first kiss! Shouldn't he be saying something about it!!?? "H-hey marco!!", Tom said weakly, "Everyone ready downstairs?". Marco nodded and took a seat next to him, "my parents are finishing up some of the snacks, but yeah everyone is here, well...everyone that cared enough did at least...". Tom smiled softly, " How's janna?", and Marco rolled his eyes in response." She's showing off her "Battle scars" which will be finished healing in a few days or so, so I guess she's making the most out of her situation...". Tom giggled, "Honestly she should be fully healed by now, does it really take that long for humans to heal from injuries like that?". "They can when you're Janna, someone who finds a way to make them last longer by doing other dangerous things....", Marco kicked his feet on the bed, "You nervous? I know you're still getting used to being back on earth after everything you went through on mewni..". "Maybe a little....but that's not the only thing, I just.....I-", Marco held his shoulder, "Tom, it's ok, the kiss is not something to worry about....it happened. I'm not upset about it, i'm just happy to have you back.". Tom didn't seem to buy it though, "Marco, I didn't want to make things weird....I-I don't know what came over m-". "Tom, today is an important day...", Marco took his hands, "I don't want you to worry, you deserve a break after what happened.....stress-free...I want you to go out and not worry about your dad, or jealously, or even what you did....I want you to go out there, stuff your face with pizza nuggets, and jam out onstage with your favorite band..". "I get to go onstage?", the mewman had stars in his eyes. "Yes you do..", the human replied mischievously, "Honestly you should thank Star, she got you into everything....whether the way she did it was justified or not..". Tom grinned widely and dragged Marco off the bed, from the corner Marshmallow made some excited noises. Tom raced over and took the rabbit out of his cage, then grabbed Marco's arm once again and finally left his room, wand in his pocket. Tom headed down the stairs, Marco following behind him. Tom was cut short however, as he was met by an assortment of hugs. Star, Janna, Jackie, and Marco's parent's held him tightly and Tom held marshmallow up and out of the line of fire so the poor bunny didn't get squished by all of their hugs. They removed themselves from him one by one and Tom felt his face heat up, "Geez guys, It's not like you haven't seen me that long ago....". Star, wearing a sparkly pink dress, because of course she was, with a bow wrapped around her tail, jumped up and down in place. "No but today we're partyiinngggg~ And you look awesome and clean and the band outside is sooooo cooooollll~!!", Tom nodded, "Well you were the one that got the to show up today! Honestly I can't thank you enough for it....". She smiled and shoved a present into his more open arm, Angie carefully took the rabbit out of Tom's hands for safety as Tom held onto the sparkly present. "I know you said we didn't have to bring gifts but weeeeeeellll-", Tom carefully unwrapped it to find a brand new journal, a love sentence one. He smiled, "Thanks Star, means a lot....". "Oh and i also tapped a smaller book about the underworld to the back, y'know.....if you wanna read up on it more!", Tom turned the journal around to find a smaller book attached to it, "Awesome, thanks for it.....it's super cool Star...". Tom looked around the decorated room, it was almost like he'd never left. Except he did, he did leave and terrible things happened and he suffered and his wand broke and he dipped down like he never had before and now he was back, and free. He put the books down, and looked at his surroundings, other people were waving to him now and asking him questions. Honestly, Tom would be asking a lot of questions too if he was them, it's not everyday a classmate vanishes and comes back with such wild tales. Marco trialed behind him, never leaving his side as people came up to talk to him. Marco was probably watching out in case someone said something mean or asked something insensitive to Tom, but Tom seemed to muster everything he had to be polite and calm. Just like he wanted. Ponyhead was here of course, hanging out with Janna and Star for the most part. But of course that didn't stop her from nudging Marco away and hugging her friend before they made plans to hang out sometime and she headed off to flirt, "Happy 2nd birthday besstieee!!~". Marco rubbed his arm, "Y'know, i don't hate her, but i don't think she's still very fond of me...". Tom laughed and wrapped his arm around Marco, "Thanks for this....this is...nice, all of it." "Well, if it weren't nice after everything else that happened, well I might as well turn in my friend card.....we all needed this to be honest.", Tom smiled and Marco pulled out a camera, "C'mon, let's get a picture together, to remember this....". Tom obliged, and Marco held out his arm to take them pic of them, the camera snapped the pic and Marco checked it out only to find Janna photobombing said pic. The girl grinned at them from behind as Marco groaned, "Hey lovebirds!!". "We saw you when I came down..", Tom said, laughing. Janna slapped him on the back, "Yeah, and then you both wandered off to check out more of your party and so did the rest of us, so how about that kiss you guys had huh?". Tom and Marco's faces became scarlet and Marco crossed his arms, "How did you know about the kiss? Who told you?". Janna raised an eyebrow along with her usual brand of smirking , "You did, just now". Marco gaped at her, embarrassed, but Tom got involved before Marco felt any worse. "Marco and I are still talking about it, but frankly it's not really your concern Janna....", the prince was challenging her, defensive over his friend. Marco tended to give up on trying to fight against Janna considering she always was one step-ahead of him, but Tom didn't seem worried one bit. "Well, I gotta say it, I knew it...told you things would work out in the end didn't I?", Tom rolled his eyes, "Janna.....". She shrugged, "C'mon I wasn't wrong, you got to admit your crush on him, and you're both still hanging out just like before, and hey, you even got a kiss in...". "So how you holding up?", Tom changed the subject immediately, "I suppose you're doing better considering the lack of bandages or earth magic bands...". She shrugged, "To be honest, I'm healed. I don't feel sore anywhere and my burns seem to all be gone, honestly you outta teach me what your dad was doing cause I got a cool idea for a prank at the school and those spells would be so perfect for-". "Then why are you showing off your "Battle scars"?", Tom interrupted again, using air quotes. Janna pulled down a sleeve to expose a scar that had clearly not come from her injuries considering both Tom and Marco had witnessed her being fixed up, "Halloween make-up, I told them your dad turned into a giant bee and-". "Ok, thank you Janna!", Tom clasped his hands together, "I'll see you later..." She patted both boys on the backs, "Eh, you'll see me tonight once I unlock the window to Marco's room to find his diary...". Marco stepped in and pushed her away, "Ok then, it was great to see you too Janna, now please go do something else..". Marco returned, red-faces and frustrated, and Tom had to laugh at his cute face. "Careful Marco, she bites, not barks...", Marco groaned, "You know, part of me wishes i didn't invite her, but i know she would've invited herself anyway so honestly what was the point!?". He threw his arms up in the air and Tom laughed as they both headed to the kitchen for some snacks. - Marco watched Tom head out into the backyard to meet Justin Towers, promising to catch up with him in a second. Marco stayed back and it didn't take long before Jackie leaned up next to him, also watching Tom nervously saying hello to his idol. "Everything is set up?", She asked him, still watching the happy mewman prince. "Yeah...", Marco replied, "You're weirdly ok with this....you know? Are you sure it's ok?". Jackie smiled, "Marco, it's fine, I told you on the phone a few days ago.  Stuff happened and it's ok, we're still hanging out and everything, and you and Tom have been talking it out...". "It's just....I want to try ok? I mean maybe it won't work out and be incredibility awkward and i'll ruin everything and i'll suck....but....i'll never know for certain if I don't try." Tom was smiling like he'd never smiled before, taking a picture with his idol, what a dork. Marco smiled, and Jackie took note of his expression, "Marco, we were friends first....we're still friends. I'm not gonna stop my friend from being happy, we're not dating and you're allowed to feel the way you do.....and besides...you guys are great together..". "Would you date me? If I asked you?", Marco asked awkwardly, avoiding eye contact, "You uh...you don't have to answer that If you don't want to....". Jackie laughed, "Marco, yeah, of course I would, and honestly....Tom's a lucky guy.". Marco hugged her, "Thanks Jackie....this means a lot to me..". "Hey, you'll always know where to find me...", She returned the hug to him easily, "Go get your prince, Princess Marco...". Marco nodded and ran off to go see Tom who looked excited out of his mind, "Marco look! He signed a picture of us! I gotta frame this!". Marco grinned from ear to ear, Tom looked like he was about to burst. "That's wonderful Tom!! Also Star managed to get them to play all your favorite songs tonight!", Tom smiled towards the band, "you guys are spoiling me too much I swear, you know when i'm here i'm not exactly much of a prince you have to bow to, ya know?". "So you don't want Love Sentence to play for you?", Marco teased, Tom fake-punched his friend and laughed. "Shut up Marco, you know this is awesome, but how the heck do you expect me to make your next birthday even better then the ones you've thrown for me? How do I top LOVE SENTENCE?!". "Well I think you could always use a good challenge...you're really just gonna have to try won't you?", Tom shook his head, "Don't mock me, like how can I make a party of your cooler, can I uhh-....maybe i can get Star to bring back Mackie Hand or....wait maybe that's too extreme.." Marco slapped Tom on the back, "More extreme then that time you tried to bake with your wand?" "Well, it SHOULD have worked!", Tom argued back. "Dude, how is using a fire blast to back cookies going to work in any reality!!!, Marco said back, then next thing  he knew someone tapped him on the shoulder. Marco whisked around to see one of the band members looking at him, "Hey so you're marco? The kid who lives here?". "Well, if you mean the kid who lives here and whose parents own here, then yeah....that's me..", The man smiled, "I know we're going on in about an hour or so, but me and the guys wanted to ask more about....". He looked at the pink-haired boy watching them with immense curiosity, then he switched back to Marco,"About the thing....". Marco nodded, understanding, he looked over to Tom and gave him a sign he'd be right back and went to find a more private part to talk to the member. Tom started kicking at the dirt for a bit, when he heard a portal opening up, and to his surprise Moon and the high commission stepped out. Moon spotted him and walked over to the confused mewman, "Ah good, we didn't miss a lot did we?". Tom shook his head but the look of utter confusion never left his face, and it must've been clear since Moon seemed to notice it. "Star didn't tell you I was coming did she?", Tom shook his head again, "Sorry, originally it was going to just be me, but.....we have a lot to make up for....and...I convinced them to come. Your party isn't much but...". "You came to support me..", Tom finished, hugging his arms, "How is.....everything?". She sighed, "You father......and mother....they're getting better, slowly...but surely. Never though one day Star's methods would be this handy, but...I don't think things are ever fully going to get better....they....this was how they were raised...how they grew Tom..". "I know..", he said quietly, "It's ok...". He didn't exactly sound "OK", he sounded quite sad, maybe it was the fact Tom knew he'd never get real parents, maybe that in the end his parents were victims like him, or maybe it was him thinking back to his messed up life. But whatever it was, it was still a bit upsetting to him, and Moon placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Tom..", Tom nodded, not saying anything in response. Marco walked back to Tom and Tom snapped out of his funk immediately, Moon smiled at Marco, and Marco also looked surprised to see her here since he hadn't invited her himself. "Marco, er, how are things back on earth for Tom?", Marco put an arm around Tom, which seemed to make him feel a little bit better. "He's doing fine, we're hanging out, talking, he got his room back and everything! Even Marshmallow seems in better spirits here then Mewni.", Tom smiled to his friend. "Well, that's good to hear...I-Um, keep me updated and such....ok?", Marco nodded, and Tom did so as well. Moon looked around to find the commission messing with some humans and her daughter  showing Janna a fire spell and like a race car she was off, "STAR DON'T YOU DARE!!". Tom leaned against Marco and the human let him, "Rough times?". "I'm going through a lot, I thought when I was free and on earth...I'd be happy....and yet...I feel sad....", he bit his lip, "I just...why don't I feel...happy? Is something wrong with me...?". Marco got into his Dr Marco PHD character immediately, "No Tom, this is perfectly normal, you're a kid who went through a lot of things a kid should never have had to go through. It's hard to get over things like this, especially when they happened so recently, it's perfectly normal for you to feel this way..". "I just don't want to feel bad right now, i'm supposed to be having a great time...", Marco sighed, "Don't force yourself to have a good time ok? It's gonna take some time for everything to wash over...I didn't expect you to come back here after all that and just be how you used to be...". Tom nodded, "Ok..thanks, can we just move on from it for a bit? I do really want to enjoy this party and stuff, without thinking about....all that hard stuff..". Marco seemed to understand and replied, "Yeah, we can. You're still young Tom...you've still got a childhood to finish up and...you can worry about those things when you're ready..". Tom smiled, "Good, cause honestly i'd rather be eating nachos and watching lame movies with you....". Marco smiled and Tom bit his lip, "So....do I want to know why one of the band members needed to pull you aside? Or is this an earth thing I'm not aware of?". Marco laughed, and to Tom his laugh was still like music, "Tom, you don't honestly want me to ruin the rest of the night for you, do you?". "Maybe...", Tom said, playfully, "You know how both of us are when it comes to keeping secrets from each other after all?". Marco rolled his eyes, ugh Tom could be such a prick about these things, "Tom, c'mon... I think my parents would like to take some pictures of you.." "Marcoooooo~ What's going on?", He teases, and Marco dragged him along back to the house, "C'mon, picture now, surprise later.". Tom groaned as the human boy dragged his arm back to the house and out of the backyard, "Aw c'mon! But your parents take HUNDREDS of pictures!!". - It was getting dark out, and Tom was surprised at just how many people were even at this party, neither him or marco were all that popular in school, but this seemed to boost them up quite a bit by the looks of it. Then again, it's always possible Moon and the Diazes invited all these random people and kids themselves. The stage looked amazing, Tom wondered how they set this up in one day but had the feeling Star was responsible somehow considering the party person she normally was. But anyways after spending some time taking pictures and spraying magic silly string on Marco to get him back, Tom was super eager for the main event. They had a cake of course, but that was for later, after mostly everyone had left. And besides, this was the part of Tom's party he had to miss out on BEFORE it happened, the cake could wait. Tom had never been to a concert before, I mean he could suppose his song day would have counted if his father hadn't moved the date due to....their sessions. But seeing his favorite band live, playing for him was something he'd never seen before. No prince event on mewni was quiet as exciting as this, nor did it allow him to dress like himself without wearing bowties or frills. This was just a causal event, for him, set up by his friends. Yeah, he didn't deserve this, nor did he deserve such great friends. And yet here he was, up front at this concert, waiting for his favorite band to go onstage with Marco, Janna, Ponyhead, Jackie, and Star next to him. Some looked a bit more eager then others, but he had a feeling Janna and Ponyhead would both sneak off at some point during this show anyway. Smoke was filling he stage, and cheers came from everywhere. Even Tom and Marco themselves were screaming to high heavens, over a boyband getting ready to come onstage. Tom grabbed Marco's hand and squeezed in excitement as the band magically appeared and the smoke cleared. "HOW'S EVERYONE TONIGHT!!", Tom couldn't contain his excitement when Justin spoke onstage, this was so much cooler then any adventure he'd been on. Justin had taken a picture with him, talking to him, gave him an autograph, and now he was performing for him. He wasn't sure how Star got this to work, but he owed her big time for getting this to happen. Everyone cheered at the lead singer's question and he smiled in response, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!". The crowd roared even louder, and that only seemed to make him happier, "WELL, IT'S GREAT HAVING YOU ALL HERE TONIGHT, BUT I WANT YOU GUYS TO GIVE A HAND TO THE REAL STAR OF TONIGHT!! TOM!". To Tom's surprise the lights were aimed on him as the crowd cheered and whistled at him. He blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he felt all eyes on him, Justin grinned and kept the audience going using arm movements. "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TOM!!" The music started and the lights were just on the band and Tom smiled as Awesome feeling came on, one of his absolute favorite songs. And He and Marco were singing along and dancing together, and Tom could only wish this moment would last forever. Favorite song and after favorite song came on, and Tom and Marco sang every word together. Jackie and Star were also having some fun to the music as well, but it was clear most of their focus for now was on each other as the concert kept going on. Then there was the finale, and Tom was awestruck as Justin actually helped him onstage for the final song. Tom didn't seem too happy about leaving Marco behind though, although Marco seemed to be egging him on considering what an amazing thing it was. However, Tom reached a hand out shortly after the song came on, and Marco took it. Lights were showing on them as well as Marco was invited onstage with Tom, Tom could see Star and Jackie cheering in the front for them and pumping their fists. Even Janna and ponyhead were cheering him on from....the roof. Marco was sure going to have some stern words for them when this was all said and done that was for sure. Marco didn't seem too comfortable being in front of so many people like this, but Tom felt the same way and took his hand to clam him down. He coaxed the boy to dance with him and the nervousness left and never came back, even after they took a bow and the place started to clear out. Tom felt a rush of adrenaline he'd never felt before after such an event, that even watching everyone leave couldn't make him sad again. Tom and Marco's feet swung off the empty stage, and Tom kept glancing over to Marco, who was pretending not to notice him playfully. Tom was still suspicious there was something else Marco wasn't telling him, and he was keeping his guard up just in case. "How was tonight Tom?", Marco asked, "Am I still your best friend or what?". Tom rolled his eyes and playfully punched Marco, "I owe you a lot....well, you and Star both. This has been one of the best nights in a long time, I don't know how to describe it, it just feels....amazing..". "More amazing then anything you've gotten as a prince?", Tom laughed, "Yeah, way better then anything I've gotten as a prince." They sat in silence, watching the stars and the moon above them, it was such a nice night out, so peaceful. "You know something else I like about you Marco...?", Tom asked, gettign Marco's attention. "Besides the many things you've already said you liked about me? I'm not sure what to say...", Tom lied down on the stage, feet still hanging of and hands placed onto his chest, "You don't see me as a freak, or a prince, you.....like me for me..you did all this to make me happy...". "That's what friends do...", Marco said simply, he lied down next to Tom, facing the stars above them. "No one should've gone through what you did, and you really needed something to pick you up after everything that happened...we all did. Star and Her mom were trapped, Janna was hurt, Ponyhead saw you almost die....and I....was freaked out." Tom sighed, "My world hit you hard, it really did, if even Marco Diaz the misunderstood badboy couldn't handle it...". They started up at the moon silently, "I'm glad to be here, with you, I really am. I just wish things were better, that you saw the better parts of my world. My world isn't all full of horrible people and bad fathers, it's....full of amazing creatures, and places, just like earth." "We should go see it sometime, not just for a mission or anything, just....go see the parts you like.", the human suggested,"I know we tried once and It freaked you out, but we can go to other places, and our friends can come too! It could be more fun that way!". "It could be, as long as we all be careful ok?", Marco smiled, "Looks like my "Safe kid" instincts have rubbed off on you..". "Doesn't sound like a bad thing to me...", Tom smiled back. "TOM, MARCO!!?? C'MON!!! IT'S CAKE TIME!!, Star called out from the house, both boys shot up and exchanged looks. Marco headed off the stage, and Tom followed after, running their way inside where Marco's parents, moon and the high commission, and their closest friends were, but also much to Tom's surprise, the Love Sentence Members were also here. Maybe he expected as a band they had other places to be, or they were here for the gig, but here they were, spending time in Marco's living room and talking to one another. Tom wasn't sure what to say, was he supposed to ask why they were here? Was he supposed to be excited? Play it cool? Then he looked over at Marco suspiciously, which Marco took note of and tried to change the subject. "Ok! Cake Time!", he clapped his hands together and everyone made their way around the table Janna and ponyhead were also here and Marco made a mental note to inspect the roof for any damage after cake time was over. Tom sat in his seat, right in front of his new cake, and everyone was gathered around him. Well, at least everyone that was close to him plus his idols and some magical adults at least, all singing to him so he could blow out his candles. Deja vu. They finished singing and Tom was supposed to blow out his candles and make a wish, earth magic like this was still a mystery to him but honestly he didn't mind having a wish right now. He took a moment to think, and blew out his candles, cheering occurred, and everyone started eating some cake. It was good, really good, it was homemade of course and Tom was sure Star was probably involved somehow. Luckily however, there was no glitter embedded in this cake, so if she did play a part in these, he was thankful Marco probably stopped her. Everyone....looked so happy, they were all talking together and laughing and it was nice. It was like Tom had a new big family, one that looked happy to each at the table together and who didn't make him want to hide in plain sight. The hardest part, was saying goodbye. Tom knew he was going to see all of them very soon and it wasn't forever, but he didn't want to watch them go either. Star of course, couldn't leave without a big group hug. She was a pretty strong demon overall, and she looked the most sad to leave her friends, her tail lacked even the typical bounce it always seemed to have as she gave Tom one last big hug. "I promise to call you tomorrow, and we can gossip and hang out ok?" Tom nodded and then she whispered something into the prince's ear, "Marco's a keeper by the way, for planning this party for you, don't lose him ok?". Tom blushed, then nodded , and Star smiled at him before walking over to her Mom. Moon looked over to Tom and nodded at him, Tom nodded back, he was sure to be getting memos from her from now on, and probably visits when possible. Which, honestly was fine with Tom for now, as long as he had more nights like this to help. Star waved to both Janna and Ponyhead and signaled Jackie to call her before she and her mother disappeared in a burst of flames. The high Commission left quickly afterwards, disappeared into another portal, they probably had some important things to get back to anyway. But they did all wave to Tom on their way out, which was fine enough. Janna of course promised to visit through the window as often as possible, making Marco be sure to put locks on everything he could, and then seal them with duck-tape. Ponyhead had the longest goodbye ever, and marco was just waiting for her to head out, only for her to keep talking to Tom about their next hangout and other things Marco didn't really care too much about overall. But eventually she made her way through a portal after some hugs and promises to call and Marco let out a sigh of relief. Jackie's was pleasant, she exchanged hugs with both of them, and she seemed pretty happy. Tom and her were still friends, and he was working through his complicated feelings, and she didn't seem at all the least bit upset about the situation. Marco still felt a bit guilty though. Before she left, she looked back at Marco and smiled at him, Marco looked into her eyes and she nodded at him. Marco nodded back, he understood what she was trying to say, even without really saying everything, like she practically read his mind. "See you tomorrow Tom and Marco!", She said, Tom and Marco both waving at her as she closed the door behind her. "See you tomorrow Jackie!", Marco said softly, he looked over to Tom who was now staring at the boyband that was still in the room with them. Marco's parents were cleaning up, and Tom had a feeling that whatever Marco was planning, they were slightly in on it. Marco got Tom's attention and took him somewhere slightly more private, "Hey, your belated birthday isn't over just yet, I do kinda have one more surprise for you...". Tom smirked, "Oh did you now? I'm shocked.... does it have anything to do with the boyband lounging around in your living room?", he raised an eyebrow and an amused Marco shook his head at him. "Nope, can't say, I just need you to meet me on the roof...". "The what now?", Tom asked, "Why the roof?". Marco began to push him upstairs, "Don't question it, it's supposed to be a surprise after all. Now get up there and i'll meet up with you in a few minutes ok? ". Tom looked at him before he went anywhere, "Can I bring my rabbit?". Marco thought for a moment, "Sure, go ahead. I think my parents put him back in his cage in your room. Just keep an eye on him ok? I don't want him to get hurt.". Tom grinned, "Don't worry, i'll make sure he's fine, I'll meet you up there..". Tom's wings flapped and he made his way up the stairs, Marco looked back to his parents and the bandmates with a knowing smile. "C'mon, let's get ready." - Tom waited on the roof, looking at the stars, a little pink was rabbit sitting on his lap ,snoring happily. Tom missed seeing the stars now that he thought about it, he was usually locked in his room when he was on mewni, and his balcony sure didn't make it easy when it was gone. But here he was, watching the Stars above, waiting for Marco to show up to do who knows what. It had to be something pretty good right? If the band was involved and Marco wanted Tom to watch the stars with him, and he didn't mind Tom having his rabbit.. Tom took a moment to wonder before Marco climbed  his way up through Tom's balcony wearing a nicer dress, still wearing Tom's armband of course. Marco even seemed to have fix his hair and put a little bit of make-up on, and Tom froze a bit. Was this a date? This felt like a date, romantic setting, a boyband somewhere around here,Marco looking oddly fancy to just spend time on the roof with his roommate. Tom felt his stomach jump, and his face got even redder cause wow Marco looked really good. Like REALLY good, and he clearly looked that way for him. Marco seemed to know based on his expression, he gave him a knowing smile that send flutters through him. Tom hated that Marco knew sometimes, that he knew with a simple smile he could make Tom feel the way he did about him. He felt powerless, powerless to a simple mortal with a mole and a stupid red hoodie. "You like it don't you?", Marco asked, still pleased with himself, "Sorry I kept you waiting a bit....hope the rabbit kept you company while my mom kept fiddling with my make-up..". Tom gave out a weak laugh to hide his reddened cheeks , "Well, she did a good job, the uh....eyeliner really brings out your eyes..". Marco smiled, "You're blushing Tom~", Tom pouted and turned his head away from the human boy. Marco smiled and while tom's head was turned placed his own hand upon the prince's, grasping it and making the alien jump a bit. What was he supposed to even say? Was he supposed to acknowledge the obvious? Or would that make things too awkward? Tom wasn't even sure what the heck was going on or even what Marco brought him up here for?! Tom bit his lip and tried to look at anything that wasn't the adorable human sitting next to him. "Tom, it's ok...nothing to be worried about....I mean, unless you're bothered cause I can totally go down and change if I'm making you uncomfortable if I'm bothering y-", he was about to remove his hand but Tom grabbed it tightly, "No, Marco....this is fine, i'm just....maybe a bit overwhelmed..". "Overwhelmed?" "It's just...you're dressed up, and I know you're hiding something....and maybe...I just kinda feel like...", he couldn't finish his sentence, there was no way in heck he was gonna be able to finish it. Marco smiled, "You're cute when you're being awkward..". Tom said nothing, leaving them in silence. Marco sighed, "Ok, you clearly want to know what's going on....and I was planning to make a big speech about it and it was going to be really corny and awkward and weird, and we might start crying and singing together but let's actually cut to the chase..before this gets more weird." Tom looked over to see the stage light up once again, the band was onstage, humming a melody, and entirely new song since Tom sure didn't recognize it. Tom looked closer to find the lights were spelling out a message, Marco was trying to hide his face a little bit, embarrased himself as Tom read the message. Will U Go Out With Me Tom? Tom froze, he didn't know what to do first, should he say yes right away? Hug Marco? Cry? Kiss him? He kinda felt like he wanted to do all at once overall, but instead opted for tackling Marco and freaking out his poor rabbit, who woke up immediately between the two. "I guess that's a yes?", Marco asked, unsure if this was all too much for Tom. It wasn't. "YOU SET ALL THIS UP TO ASK ME OUT!!?", Tom didn't even remotely care how close their faces were or that Tom was straddling Marco, none of that mattered now. He was sure he blew it, that even after Marco admitted he liked him, the kiss ruined things and only set them back. This was both a surprise, and a relief. "You like it?", Marco felt so proud of himself, Tom's excitement and expression was priceless. "My family and jackie, and pretty much everyone helped set this up, well...most of it was me but they helped pick out the outfit and recommended ideas...I just thought well, I want to try....with you..if that's ok?". Tom felt tears run down his cheek form his happiness, "But I thought I scared you off...because of the kiss, and what about Jackie...?" "Jackie is still my friend, we're still close. But It was my choice, and I just kinda...wanted to try....see where it goes...with us? The kiss....was unexpected but...if you think i'm going to be completely done with you over that then you're crazy..". "B-but I kissed you without your permission! I wasn't entirely myself...I think...I stole your first kiss and I shouldn't have and i'm really sorry...". Marco covered his mouth with one of his hands, "Tom it's ok, it's not your fault...". Marco bit his lip for a moment, "If anything...It's mine, you were under...something...but I...kissed you back. I knew what was up, and yet...part of me...still wanted to kiss you. I'm sorry I made you feel like this for so long...I guess maybe..I was just kinda embarrassed to admit that well..". Marco trailed off, not sure about finishing the sentence, but Tom seemed to understand what he was referring to. Tom's eyes shifted over, "Does that mean...you...liked it?". "Yeah....", that answer shot through Tom like a lightning bolt, "It was....It was nice....". Marco looked at Tom, blushing and nervous as the rabbit between him and Tom make some noises. "So uh....Tom? You uh-....you got any plans to get off me? I mean I don't mind either way i'm just curious cause I'm rather we didn't fall off my roof..". Tom got up off of Marco and tried to clam down his poor rabbit, who looked looked terrified. "Sorry....I uh....I didn't mean to well....", he was stuttering like crazy, was he always this awkward? "Anyways I uh...", Tom coughed into his hand, still not entirely over the fact Marco liked kissing him. The band had stopped singing and there was silence again, Marco cleared his throat, "You uh....you still haven't given me a yes or a no....". Tom just looked at him for a moment, lips parted, eyes wide, he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Marco was looking right at him, and Marco wasn't leaving anytime soon, Tom took a deep breath mentally, he could do this. Tom smiled and fought back happy tears going down his face, before leaning in to kiss Marco's cheek, "Yes...". It was very brief, and lasted only seconds, but Marco looked as if the most amazing thing in the world just happened, all because of a simple cheek kiss. Before he could say anything, Marco pressed their lips together. He kept his eyes shut tight and Tom closed his own, his marks were starting to glow a faint pink and he knew it, but that didn't matter right now. Things were finally starting to look up. Tom's new wand started to glow and snow started to fall from the sky, snow, in summer. Marco separated from him and watched in awe as snow fell around them, "So you really can make it snow...you're a boy of many mysteries Tom Butterfly..." Their fingers were intertwined, and the rabbit fell asleep once again. There were good things and bad things out there, things were changing and they were changing faster then ever for Tom. But it was time to open up a new chapter, starting with his return to earth. There were many things he needed to figure out about himself, and places he needed to see. and sitting there, holding Marco's hand, watching the stars above and wondering about his future, he needed to be ready. Someday he was still going to be king, and someday, he was going to come back to earth, with a radio, and a snowfall and glob dammit if he forgot to do that. "You know what's funny Marco?", Tom said softly, and Marco let out a hmm as he leaned his head on Marco's shoulder. "You skipped the speech and the crying and all the sappiness, and yet here we are, still sappy, still crying, and still weird...". "You want to hear the overly long speech and sappy about you being my friend and how I feel about you?" "Maybeeeeee.....I'd love to hear how cute you think I am or how amazing I am from your perspective, mind if I record it with my wand?". Marco punched him on the shoulder and pecked his cheek. "I hate you...", he said through grumbles, an obvious smile on his face. "I love you too Marco Diaz...", the prince returned through light tears. It was good to be back home.

[justpeachy--keen]

Excerpts from the Diary of Daisy Juliet O’Hara

Dated: October 21, 2016 - August 11, 2017

[tw - talk of noncon kissing (pretty tame) and murder (also pretty tame)

October 21, 2016 Dear Diary,

Can you take back a first kiss? I want to. I think I’m going to, because mine was gross. That’s because Devon is gross. I don’t know why I let him kiss me. Well, I didn’t really let him. He just kind of did it! It was there and over so fast I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even remember anything about it. What did it feel like? I dunno. What did it taste like? Ugh, that awful vodka stuff.

*Note One: does all vodka taste that awful? Why do grown ups drink it? Especially if it makes you do stupid things like kiss your sister!!

It was even more dumb because he yelled at me afterwards for pushing him. He was all: “Daisy!! What was that for?!” And then Mark sided with him, saying I shouldn’t have pushed him in the first place and that they were just messing around. Boys are so dumb.

Anyway, I feel much better now that I have decided to pretend it didn’t happen. That means when I get my real first kiss with Malik, it will be amazing. Maybe my foot will even do that pop thing like Mia talks about in Princess Diaries! That would be super cool. Then I’ll know it is my first real kiss.

*Note Two: Ask Malik if he wants to go see the Great Gilly Tompkins this weekend!

That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to report tomorrow when I hear back from Malik.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

December 25, 2016 Dear Dairy,

I love Christmas, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS MORNING!!! Oh, I could’ve killed Veronica. She came into my room and started bouncing on my bed at like 7 in the morning! What is the point of having my own bedroom if people just barge into it all the time? I was sooooo annoyed and I yelled at her and then I made her cry and then Mark yelled at me and Angelica and Thomas weren’t even awake yet.

But, oh well! The rest of the day was really fun.

Angelica and Thomas (or “Santa Claus” as they still pretend since Veronica and Rachel are still babies who believe in that kind of stuff) gave me a new computer! It doesn’t have internet access, but that’s okay because I don’t really #surftheweb anyway. I’ve got my phone for that.

*Note One: do Angelica and Thomas even know I have internet on my phone? Best not to mention it, just in case. What would I do without Instagram?!

My laptop was really my only gift because it was soooo expensive, but that is okay because it is all I really wanted anyway!

I gave everyone stories, you wanna know what they were about?

Well, Angelica got a story about a lady that couldn’t have kids adopting a bunch with all these special abilities and then one day this bad guy comes along and all her kids like totally protect her from the bad guy. It was really cool, it made her cry.

Thomas got a story about this guy who just made all these wood carvings and they were like so good that they came to life and started wreaking havoc in the town! He told me it was really creative and funny.

Mark got a story about a jock who secretly loves theatre a la HSM—he didn’t like it but that’s just because I exposed his secret. But!! Angelica thought it was really cool he wanted to start a band that, like, specifically toured around at old folks home and like—hospitals. I think that sounds really dumb and boring but he is a good singer.

Devon got a superhero story, it was pretty cliché but I got to work on my action scenes, which is important. So, that’s good. He liked it. Kissed my cheek for it.

Rachel got a story about a girl who finds out she’s a princess but her family was like—banished and everyone had died but her and she had to reclaim the throne. It was super cool because I made sure the girl was like a bad ass and like knew kung fu.

Veronica got a story about dogs. I’m not really good at anthropomorphic stuff and it wasn’t my favorite, but I think she liked it! I made sure the main dog was her favourite kind, even though I think that bull terriers are really funny looking.

Okay!! I’m getting called down for supper!

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

January 23, 2016 Dear Diary,

Today, someone moved in two houses down and on the other side of the street. Angelica brought him coffee cake, but she told Thomas that he was really weird. She didn’t think I was listening, but I was. Sometimes I sit with my headphones in and not playing so that I can hear what people are saying and they think I’m not.

This is how I found out Mrs. Howell was cheating on her husband with the Geometry teacher. Ohmigosh that was so funny. Her husband still doesn’t know but I’m not going to be the one to tell him, of course. Though, most of the school knows by now. That’s not my fault. I only told Malik and Patrick and Melanie and James and Marta, it’s up to them who they tell. Not me.

Anyway, I think I’m curious, so I’m gonna go investigate tomorrow.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

February 5, 2017 Dear Diary,

Woooooooooooow, okay, so I was supppppper busy these last few days (which is why I haven’t written in you!) and I’m super sorry about that. But! This girl went missing from down the street. She was like my age-ish. I think she was 18? Her name was Sally and she was super cool, like—she dyed her hair funky colours and she invited these men who had like beards or like, wore suits, over allllll the time when her parents weren’t home and she smoked weed too.

I think she ran off with some man. I told Angelica and Thomas this and they sent me to my room for joking around, but I’m not!! I really think she did. Sometimes her parents got in really nasty fights and then she would leave to go stay at her friend’s house.

She’s not there, though, so that means that she just ran away. Seems pretty simple to me. The police are so stupid.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

March 25, 2017 Dear Diary,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SWEET SIXTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M PRACTICALLY AN ADULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh, I had such a good day!! Having your birthday on a weekend is like soooooo much better than having your birthday during the week. I didn’t have to worry about homework or anything like that! All my friends were free and we went to the Australian zoo which was just sooo cool. Oh my gosh, we tried to steal this adorable baby goat from the petting zoo and we got so close too, I’m so mad! It’s all Marta’s fault, she started laughing and broke my concentration and I dropped the invisibility around the goat in the middle of the parking lot!!

Everyone saw it. I was so mad at her. But, well, I dunno what I would do with a baby goat anyway. I just thought it was super cute and if I could get it for free, well! Why not?

The zoo keepers were pretty mad and so were my foster parents but I think it’s going to be okay. They gave me a pass since it is my birthday and they’re not going to ground me so that’s really cool of them. Thomas said something along the lines of “gosh, I can’t imagine what she’s going to do for her eighteenth birthday!”

And I said: “I don’t know either! But it’s gonna be GREAT!”

They started laughing at me. I dunno why but I could tell they just thought it was funny. Angelica shook her head at me but Thomas gave me a big kiss on top of my head.

I kinda hope they adopt me before then. I love them a lot.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

May 9, 2017

The girl sat on a bench in the quad at her high school. It was lunch time and she was very nervous. Not because of lunch, but because of the boy walking towards her. She had put her make up on very carefully today, and she had had her outfit picked out for like a whole week. It was a pair of black jeans and bright pink and yellow trainers, her shirt was a soft yellow, not too obnoxious, and frilly—a spaghetti strap, and she was wearing a cool leather jacket over it because it was a little breezy (she was glad she put her hair in a ponytail.)

The boy sat down next to her and gave her a hug. “Hey, Daisy Rose! You look nice!”

“So do you,” she complimented.

And he did. He was wearing a leather jacket too, and he looked even cooler in it than she did. He’d styled his jet black hair and he kind of looked like a person from that movie Greece that Angelica Amy liked to watch sometimes.

“Thanks!” he said. “So, uhhhh—Patrick Peter told me that Marta Martha told him that James John said that you’d told him in first period you wanted to talk to me?”

“Oh, yeah!” Rose said, “I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend?”

“Ohmygosh! I thought you’d never ask me,” Malik Waseem exclaimed and leaned in to kiss her. They totally made out with tongue and everyone in the cafeteria clapped.

*Note One: that’s not what happened. Apparently, Malik has been dating Melanie for like two months and he didn’t tell any of us until today.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

August 11, 2017 Dear Diary,

They found Sally from up the street’s body today.

Someone murdered her but no one can figure out how. She was just—dead. There were like no stab wounds or bruises or anything. Her eyes were like—wide open? Have you ever seen a dead person’s eyes before? It’s super creepy. They just—stare at you but like you can tell nothing is there and that they are dead.

I probably shouldn’t have snuck up to the crime scene but it was like right by our house and in my defense I didn’t know that was what it was. I just saw the cop cars.

No one knows who killed her but I guess she didn’t run away after all.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

[ancientnapdragon]

I am a lot more upset than I feel like I should be today and no one is online but I need tobgetbthis out before I explode so illnjusts cream into the void of Tumblr I don't even care anymore

Every year my aunt takes on too much fuckiing work for herself and then gets all pissy about it. She doesn't have to make carrot cakes for 6 people or 3 cheesecakes or 2 plates of candy plus all the other stuff she feels like she has to do but she never tells anyone no and this year is no different

And I'm the only one up and I was trying to help but I'm tired and dozed off on the couch

And she fucking threw these two packages I had ordered, which had gifts in them, at my chest to startle me awake and then bitched because I cell asleep and because I hadn't wrapped them yet and I hadn't finished her Christmas cards and that she still had sooooo much to do. And she wasn't having any fun

And I told her that she didn't HAVE to do any of the stuff she was doing. She could just tell people no. So She was like 'oh well I'll tell YOU no we won't have a cheesecake this year' and I was like '??? That's fine I don't need a cheesecake I just want you to be happy and she got all huffy and left. (She was going to the flower shop anyway to fix an arrangement for someone, something ELSE she didn't have to do)

Then I sat there and thought that maybe if I made breakfast she would feel a little better when she got back so I went to make pancakes. But I got everything out and realized we don't have any syrup

Why am I suck a fuck up why can't I do one simple thing. Why is she so ducking batfeul. I don't wanna do this anymore.

I don't i don't i don't i don't I'd on't I don't I'd on't is not I'd on

[kpop--fics]

Assassin!Joshua

Collab with @theliqht <3

---

joshua assassin!au

did you think you were gunna get some dark shua

SIKE

jkjk

he’s the medic ??? of the team

idk what you wanna call it but

he basically cures everyone on the team

and prevents them from dying lol

no i mean seriously joshua is seen as the florence nightingale of the group

but ok he does go on the missions too

since he has the most advanced knowledge on medicine and stuff like that ,, he can make doses that can kill their targets

basically poison doses lol

andddd he’s always busy

like

he doesn’t have time to rest

AT ALL

because

every day

like every single day

after every single mission

there would be at least one wounded member on the team

“smh guys can’t you be more careful”

“YOU TRY IT THEN”

“...nvm”

he usually does the behind-the-scenes work and not the actions aha

& he usually gets really worried when someone gets injured bc he knows how bad it could get

it could go from

“seungkwan got a scratch on his cheek”

to

“SEOKMIN HAS HIS INTESTINES RIPPED OUT JOSHUA SAVE HIM”

like what the fuck guys

well

no matter how busy it could get

it was something he did like doing

he liked the feeling of being important to the team

and

the fact that he could make the members feel better

but surprise surpriseeeeee

he actually didn’t plan on becoming part of an assassin team

all he wanted was to become a doctor

but

since his group of friends pulled him into this

,,,

why not

they were all childhood friends and had promised to stay as a group when they were still really young

and their friendship had remained strong throughout the years

so sure

they need someone to look after them anyways

it was kinda funny to imagine that they would be nowhere without him

seokmin would probably have his kidney hanging out of his body or something

but today, it was joshua himself who got injured

they were on a mission to kill the president of a corrupted company

so all of them went,, since the building was really big

and jeonghan stayed in the car as standby

jihoon too,,, he was just monitoring them aft hacking the building’s cctvs

soo for those in the building

they were moving tgt, although pretty spaced out

joshua lagged behind the group bc he was on the lookout

but suddenly someone just grabs him from the back and joshua managed to kick him off

but that man came back and just flung him

shua was practically thrown against a window + shelf while trying to attack back

and there was a huGEE gash running up his upper arm

resulting in his arm bleeding a waterfall of blood

apparently the company had higher security than they had predicted so

abort mission for real

when they were in the car + when they got back, joshua couldn’t do anything bc ,,,

i mean ,,,

how tf is he supposed to treat himself

soonyoung was just pressing a thick cloth onto the wound but it wasn’t of much help really

everyone else would be able to help with minor wounds but this one was asdfgkl

,,, joshua wouldn’t be able to help even if it happened on another member

it was that bad

and ok jeonghan knew how to stitch wounds up

but they don’t have anesthetic

so he couldn’t stitch the wound up bc joshua would probably die from the pain first before dying from blood loss

and joshua was just getting paler and paler by the minute

this wound just couldn’t get treated by any of them

“i think we need to get you to a hospital”

cue joshua pouting bc he never really liked hospitals

the doctors never really cared

shua had a few hospital visits when he was younger

none of them being good experiences

like omg the doctors act as if everything can be cured by ice packs

got a bruise? have an ice pack.

have a stomach ache? have an ice pack.

broke your neck? have a fucking ice pack.

like do i look like a moron to you

ok back to the story

seungcheol was kinda hesitant at first but

1. he knew their assassin group was pretty private so no one would recognize them

2. shua was gonna die and

3. shua is screaming

ok not really screaming screaming

but making weird grunting noises

of pain

whatever

he needed to live

the team needed him

so

an hour later

joshua and everyone else were in front of the local hospital

andddd you worked there as a pretty experienced doctor

so!

suddenly

that night

a horde of men just run into the hospital like a fucking tsunami was chasing them lmao

“is there a doctor available?!!!”

you were the closest to them and you didn’t even have to ask who’s injured

bc this,,, brown-haired guy,,,, in the middle of all of them,,, being held up by 2 guys,,, was literally red

like i mean everything was red

except for his face which was ghostly !!! white !!!

but his clothes were soaked in his own blood and his flesh on his arm was cut open and it was so deep and just

omg it was really really gory

you were pretty shook

“did you guys murder someone or something??”

everyone just gave each other awkward glances

like um techincally yes we did

you quickly led them to a room and did all the procedures

aka stitching of the wound

but you didn’t allow the whole group of them to follow you in bc you counted 13 of them in total like nonononono get out all of you

so only seungcheol followed

you stitched up joshua’s wound after injecting him with local anesthetic to numb the area

and seungcheol had to look away bc ew

joshua was still really pale tho like the amount of blood he lost was ,,, a lot ,,,

“i think he’s gonna have to stay here for a day or two,” you told seungcheol

seungcheol just nods and leaves and you try to call him back to sign the papers but he juST LEFT

you were dumbfounded like okay so you’re just ?? gonna ?? leave your friend here ???

but joshua (you learnt his name from seungcheol while you were stitching up joshua’s wound) was asleep

and reasonably so

he would’ve been really weak and tired, considering how much blood he lost

you couldn’t help but stare at him for a while bc he,,, looked ,,, cute

there was a little frown on his face but he still looked pretty relaxed

and his features and everything were just so perfectly sculpted ajdskjfh

ok no y/n you’re a professional doctor stop it

so you let him sleep in the ward after updating his medical reports

and you were on night shift so you were gonna stay in the hospital through the night

you went on your daily rounds and settled more patients

but when you went to check back on joshua about 4 hours later

mEJIK

pOOf

hE wAs gONe

the hospital bed was empty ,,, with just a few cash notes lying on the sheets

o and a little handwritten note too

which just said “thanks for stitching up my wound & taking care of me”

and the amount of cash beside the note was the exact fee he had to pay

okay maybe a few dollars less but that didn’t really matter

what mattered was that hE wASN’T WELL ENOUGH TO LEAVE YET

the wound would open again if he does any strenuous activity omg

but that worry didn’t last very long bc you had other patients to take care of

you couldn’t keep him on your mind like that

fast forward a few weeks later

joshua’s wound !! has healed !!!

not completely but the stitches are out (yes he did it himself) and the wound’s pretty closed already

but he still wasnt in prefect condition so he was sent on a fairly simple mission

which involved killing someone again

but this target was hospitalized

so it was an easy task

all joshua needed to do was to insert the poison,,, venom thingy,,,, into that person’s IV

but no

it didn’t go as well as planned

he realized that the person was staying in the same hospital as he was previously

but he didn’t think much of it bc he was here for only a short while

and his identity wasn’t really recorded soOooO

he just went into the target’s ward, acting as a visitor, a regular mask covering his nose and mouth

and a casual cap over his head

i mean he looked pretty normal

and the target was soundly sleeping

joshua pulled the tiny vile from his pocket, quietly grabbing the syringe from the nurse’ table at the corner of the room, filling it with the poison and injecting it into the IV

“what are you doing?”

joshua threw the syringe under the bed and stuffed the empty vile into his butt pocket and turned around

shit

out of all doctors, it had to be you

you ran over, pushing him aside, ripping the IV out of the patient’s arm

the patient had woken up, obviously alarmed and confused

joshua looked away, afraid of being recognized by both you and his target

he quickly turned and walked-jogged right out of the room

you quickly told the patient to just go back to sleep first and ran after joshua

but by the time you got out, you couldn’t see him anywhere

so you just ran down the hallway, pulling out your phone and calling the hospital’s security.

“hello? someone just entered the---”

you didn’t finish your sentence

the door of the storeroom on your right opened and someone grabbed you, placing a hand over your mouth and pulling you in

your phone was snatched out of your hand and that person switched your phone off

the door got locked but the hand was removed from your mouth

you were about to scream but when you saw the perpetrator’s face ;;;

“joshua....?”

you recognized him almost immediately

he was one of the patients you wouldn’t forget easily

besides, he just came in a few weeks ago

joshua smiles a little when you remembered him

“hey.”

“what the hell? why were you in the patient’s room? what did you put into the IV?”

your voice was getting louder and louder, causing him to widen his eyes & place his hand over your mouth again

he shushes you

“stop speaking so loud!”

you stare at him like ??? i’m speaking loudly?? you’re the one who just tried to kill my patient???

joshua couldn’t reveal anything so he just ,,

“that guy isn’t good.”

you were so pissed like did i ask that ????

joshua just changes the topic suddenly like nothing happened

and he thanked you for the other time

“i know i haven’t thanked you face to face yet, but thank you. it’s a lot better now.”

you looked at his arm where the wound was, but it was covered by his sleeve so

nvm

he smiled at you again and you wanted to scream at him like

stop !!! smiling at me !!!!!

he was so cute you really couldn’t take it

and so you just snatched your phone from him and left the storeroom

but not before joshua makes sure you “don’t tell anyone about anything” and “pretend he was never here”

like ok i totally can do that

he honestly didn’t seem like a bad guy

he seemed to hv good reasons

but no your morals got to you

you had to report him

he nearly killed someone

but before going to the security, you went back to your patient’s room to check if he was fine

but the moment you stepped in

you got fuckign strangled

by your patient

he was shouting something like “are you from their team?! did you just try to kill me?!”

you were just helplessly clawing at his hands while your lungs contracted

you panicked

but suddenly the pressure on your neck disappears and you just crUmble to the floor

joshua had kicked him in the face and he was sprawled on the floor now

joshua grabs another syringe that was from his jacket pocket and just stabbed it into the man’s neck

and the man just went unconscious

you were still,,, on the floor,,, spluttering and wheezing

joshua rushed over to you

“are you okay?”

he pats you a bit, and he suddenly just reaches around your neck gently, his thumb caressing your sore skin

when you could finally breathe again, you were just

“what was that? did you kill him?”

joshua shook his head.

“it was just a heavy dose of general anesthetic.”

that was joshua’s back-up.

you heaved a sigh of relief ;;;  joshua would’ve gotten into huge trouble if the man died

you got really suspicious of joshua bc of what the man had said to you so you started ,,, cautiously ,,,, questioning joshua

and joshua told you. bc he trusted that you wouldn’t do anything.

and you didn’t !!! bc he just saved your life ,,, he was obviously a good guy

everything he said made sense too sooo okay

so you became a new “partner” of his team

you always helped the members treat their wounds and everything whenever they got injured

it was fun

and joshua liked to make jokes about how “getting injured isn’t bad now, i get to see you”

:”)))))

>> Masterlist

[cellochicita]

SO MANY QUESTIONS POSTS

OK SO I GOT TAGGED BY @bananabrianna77 @thiswebsitegavemethisusername @mtt-studios @zephyrus-gryphon @scolipendra91 AND @esmiden

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO GO THROUGH

putting it below bc it longgg

1. What’s your favorite inside joke?

This is fine

2. What’s the strangest/stupidest/most interesting way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Naruto running across the street, I tweaked my shoulder something awful

3. What’s your favorite color, and what do you find so appealing about that color?

Lilac purple *star eyes* I’ve always loved purple, it’s very feminine without being in your face, and mysterious, and lilac has the warm red undertones to it that make it feel like a hug. Plus I love the smell of the flower too

4. If you had a million dollars (or whatever currency you weird non-American peeps use) what WOULDN’T you spend it on?

Umm. I wouldn’t spend it on gambling

5. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Whoo boy depends what I can grab as I run out the door. Toast, banana, etc.

6. Hey you now possess the ability to give people superpowers. I, your indecisive trash bag pal, just requested you give me a “random superpower”. What kinda power will you give me?

Hmm, I give you the power of flight bc flying rocks

7. If the roles were reversed, what kind of superpower would you request?

I wanna talk to animals dangit

8. What time is it for you right now?

11 am :)

9. What was the worst homework assignment you ever had to complete?

Oh gosh um, 20 page paper written in one day? That sucked major butt

10. What’s your worst pet peeve?

When people cannot stop to question their own actions.

11. Not a question, but write a short (3-5 line) poem/rap about the closest thing to your left.

Left of me there is

A wall covered in carpet

Why is that a thing

1) COKE OR PEPSI???

COKE YOU HEATHEN

2) Favourite food?

Hnngg all of them? Rice bowls.

3) If you had to choose one song to listen to over and over for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oh geez. Um. I could listen to orchestral covers of Asgore’s theme for  hours

4) Favourite singer/band?

Owl City, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, Taylor Swift

5) Favourite subject to study in school?

History or music

6) Your favourite thing about the internet?

Heck I love the freedom it gave to me to create music and voicework. I’ve had good experiences networking too :)

7) Have you remembered to do what you need to today?

Ummm I suppose I just did. But I still don’t wanna do it, sooooo

8) What time do you usually wake up if you get to choose?

If I choose? 8 am. Out of bed by 9 (I have to catch up on notifs)

9) Favourite YouTuber?

The entire Internet Remix crew

10) Can you list 5 tumblr blogs you think I should follow right now?

@fishmum, @rileygoldsmith, @kanaking, @asgoriel-stuff, @stariousfalls

11) Who is the most underrated celebrity, in your opinion?

ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAID ME SHUT THE HECK YOUR MOUTHS

Piano Guys probably, they are great dudes

12) Favourite snack?

Cheese sticks

13) Can you describe your ideal day?

The day I can finally get caught up on all of my recording, then I go and hang out with family and friends

14) Your best tumblr friend?

Riley is bae @rileygoldsmith

15) Can you say the first thing that comes to your head NOW?

Can’t wait until my bf gets home so I can smooch his face

16) Favourite music genre?

Oof. I have eclectic tastes. Alternative I suppose? Not sure. If it sounds good, I like

17) Favourite video game? (If you don’t play, favourite Let’s Play series?)

Probably Undertale duh

18) The worst time someone has betrayed you?

Ex best friend, junior year of HS. But haha jokes on her, I’m dating her ex

19) Could you describe yourself in five words?

Keep enduring to the end

20) Favourite type of weather?

Fall weatherrrrrr

21) Could you describe your favourite place, without using the name?

Absolute peace

22) Favourite inspirational quote?

“Even when you think it's time to give up, don't. Take care of you and find yourself again if you need to” - Moony

1. What makes you feel at home?

My mom usually XD

2.  Favorite soup?

Turkey and wild rice soup P:

3. Sunny or rainy?

Rainy dayssss ftw

4. Other than your family, who is one person who has shaped you?

My best friend

5. What patterns do you like on clothing that you don’t wear yourself (floral, striped, etc.)?

I wish I could pull off stripes mixed with florals

6. Quick, first word/phrase you think of!

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts

7. One trait you envy about others?

The ability to not overthink things

8. What was the first online fandom you joined?

Online fandoms? Hmm, probably doctor who

9. Favorite song from the 20th century?

“The way you look tonight” Frank Sinatra

10. Which class did/do you do best in at school?

The easy ones. I got good grades in history tho

11. Would you smooch a ghost?

HECK YAS

1. Waffles, Pancakes, or french toast?

Waffles but on other days pancakes

2. Do you think spiders can be adorable?

So long as they’re not up in my space

3. Best gaming experience you have had?

Solstice ending of Oneshot. It was really the first time I played a game blind, and the ending is masterful

4. Happy song that makes you sad?

You are my sunshine BC OF THOSE DANG UNDERTALE COMICS DANGIT

5. Favorite adult cartoon?

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (I KNOW IT’S ANIME SHUSH)

2. Most adrenaline pumping thing you have done?

Bungee jumping was intense

7. Do you believe there is darkness within anyone, can anyone once good be evil?

I do believe, but I also believe the opposite. We all have dark and light in us, it all depends on what we choose

8. Favorite anime OST song, not counting openings or endings?

I dunno haha I do love the whole soundtrack to FMA Brotherhood? Not familiar with all the OST

9. Hade you dramatically lied to someone?

I have before

10. Did you notice I repeated 2 twice the first time you read this?

I JUST DID ACTUALLY I WAS GONNA FIX IT BC I THOUGHT MY COMPUTER MESSED UP XD

11. How was your day?

So far, pretty decent : )

1. How are you doing?

Pretty good thanks!

2. What leaves the worst taste in your mouth?

Figuratively or literally? Literally Orange juice after toothpaste. Figuratively, when I have to let stupid people alone to their ways

3. What is the strangest thing you’ve Googled?

Ghandi Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

4. What’s the funniest thing you’ve witnessed in public?

Me doing a perfect double take at a guy pretending to be a mannequin in a store window

5. You are given the ability to solve one unsolved mystery. Which one do you choose?

Amelia Earhart. Where she at man

6. If you could write a letter to your past self, what would you tell them?

Dude, you won’t be lonely forever. It gets so much better

7. Which video game have you played through the most?

Undertale

8. If you could instantly learn a skill, which one would you choose?

DRAWING DANGIT I WANNA BE GOOD

9. What is a song you can never get tired of?

State of Grace, Taylor Swift

10. What is your favorite combination of food?

Breakfast for dinner!

11. What is the pettiest thing you’ve ever done?

Ghosted my friend bc she wouldn’t talk to me

1. Favorite literature or movie genre

Quirky fantasy

2. Top five animated cartoons

Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, Avatar the Last Airbender, Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall

3. If you could choose a fantasy land to stay in for the rest of your life, which one would you chose? Ps. You won’t be able to get back to the real world.

Hogwarts. Gimme. Now.

4. Favorite song at the moment?

Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

5. What is good design for you?

Something simple and clean, but warm and inviting

6. What’s your favorite color scheme/combination?

Lilac, lavender, mint and silver

7. Which feelings effects you the most in litterature/music/film etc.?

I am such a sucker for sister to sister relationships, make me teary every time

8. Favorite game?

Undertale (same as above)

9. What’s most important for you in a good movie?

I need to have fun! And I need it to not drag on

10. What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

Sunset

11. Extra because I’m out of ideas, if you got a painting. What would you want on it? XD

Cats!

AND I’M NOT GONNA TAG ANYONE ELSE BC I AM SO TIRED 

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 8]

And here we are at the end. I hope you’ve all been enjoying the ride, because it’s about to get a whole lot weirder in this, the final chapter.

Warnings this time around: a whole lot of drug use, some underage drinking, DUI but it’s okay because Tiaa is a vampire, bestiality, and an attempted sexual assault. Also did I mention drug use? There’s a lot of drug use.

Recap: Tiaa met a panda bear named Snoofles on her way to school (please don’t think too hard about this) and learned that she can now talk to animals, among other abilities. Thanks to a vague new ability of hers, she accidentally made her mean classmate Lauren get struck by lightning while they were in a verbal spat. Edward finally decided to leave Bella for Tiaa and the two celebrated by having sex in the middle of the school. Bella walked in on them and got upset.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

hey guys sory its been so long since an update, i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can!

Did she refuse to beta your fic after you stole her poster of Gerard Way?

Chapter 8 - the Kidnap

I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked and looked awsome with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream with bits of purple in it but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more. 

Tiaa doesn’t care how beautiful she is, but she had to start the sentence off by reminding us all how beautiful she is. And that she looks awesome. And her hair is exotic.

Whatever that means.

Edward was gone. he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself and i was SO mad. 

Wait, are you mad Edward is attempting to prevent Bella from committing suicide?

how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more? 

That doesn’t mean he’s fine with letting her make attempts on her own life, Tiaa.

I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe. 

I love this goddamn sentence.

So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties and i smoked some drugs and started to weep. 

To be fair, this is a really solid stoner-goth aesthetic she has going.

…wait, hold up, leather panties? 

Leather panties?

dave came in and made a big smiley face.

He’s in a really good mood for someone whose brother was murdered hours ago.

"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick)

Okay, for the sake of argument, I’ll buy that Dave visually mistook a spliff for chapstick… but can he not smell that she’s smoking weed?

"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty.

Love how Tiaa is suicidal but still needs to make sure we know how pretty she is at all times. Reminds me of the bit in “My Immortal” where Enoby was flirting while sobbing.

"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff. 

Well, replace “homework” with “getting raped by the relative of a caregiver, turning into a vampire, and accidentally seriously injuring a classmate” and Dave’s on the money.

he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses.

Do I really need to tell this girl to stop humanizing her rapist? She killed him in self-defense! It was one hundred percent justified! C’mon, Tiaa, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Also, nobody cares about Lauren.

"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT (i could make stuff move when i was angry now...it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!)

Well, yeah, that is weird, but I don’t get the woe-is-me attitude about it. Telekinesis is a really cool ability. Also, turns out Dave is literally so dumb that you can be an obvious nonhuman smoking weed in bed while screaming about wanting to die and he’ll take you for an ordinary teenage girl holding a tube of chapstick.

"haha, i guess your right" he laughed (he thougt i was joking, i wasnt spoiled or anythin) 

…so did the ashtray miss?

"its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before! 

I can’t help but feel that the amount Dave and Marie compliment Tiaa on her looks borders on inappropriate, considering she is sixteen and they are her foster parents. 

and i think your boobs hav grown!" 

Case in point.

"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said.

I guess it’s a good thing she’s a vampire, then, since I’m pretty sure vampires can’t get back problems.

Wait. Can vampires get high? Does being high feel different if you’re a vampire?

Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.

That Dave!

I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks. 

Listen, I don’t know Washington State, but in my neck of the woods small towns don’t have goth nightclubs. 

I love that she specified the pills were drugs, in case we thought they were sugar pills or something. 

bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL! 

If there is a goth nightclub in your small town, I guarantee you everyone has heard of it.

i met snoofles on the way and he came with me. 

You’re taking the panda out clubbing?

we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music. 

…I’m starting to get very confused about Snoofles. My initial impression was that he’s a regular panda bear, but Tiaa is able to communicate with him because she’s a vampire and can talk to all animals now. But I don’t think ordinary pandas go to clubs, get drinks, and dance to heavy metal music.

Although I’ve never met one, so I could be wrong.

ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent looking and Snoofles was a panda, but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere.

I adore the similes in this fic. No idea what Tiaa is on but I definitely know what the author means by feeling like there’s snow everywhere in your head.

"hi your called Tiana arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry. 

So… not like straw, then.

he was tall. 

Yeah, you mentioned.

he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!)

No, it’s good, I dig it. Simple goth on top, bling on the bottom, may or may not be wearing pants? It’s a look.

"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?

"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips.

"what is wrong Jasper?" i said

"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. i am gay, and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!" 

Of course he’s gay. Look at his outfit! Look at those shoes! I can’t even see him for real and my gaydar is going wild.

"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said. 

"REALLY?" he sed, and looked chocked with his mouth open.

Good on Tiaa for being an ally. I love how Jasper reacts as though he’s never considered the possibility that his gayness might be alright. He’s a vampire too and has been alive for well over a century, so that’s a lot of internalized homophobia… but he’s also been around to witness the entire modern LGBT rights movement, so you’d think he might have gotten the “it’s okay to be gay” message before.

"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back. 

If you just got a bad feeling about what might happen next, trust your fucking instincts.

he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs.

I really wanna know what they’ve been taking, because even though Tiaa isn’t human I feel like anyone who can get high should have to worry about drug interactions. Weed and alcohol is fine, but aside from that I have no idea what the hell Tiaa is on except that she described it as “pills” and a lot of drugs that come in pill form do not play nice with alcohol. She probably isn’t going to fry her liver or anything like that given that she’s essentially undead, but I doubt she’s immune to having a bad trip.

we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car. 

A note: At this point in the story I quite literally had to stop the MST for a bit so I could pour myself a very stiff drink. 

The panda has a car. The panda is having a threesome with a vampire and a human in the back of his car while another vampire drives it. This is treated as normal because the panda and his two human(oid) sexual partners happen to all be gay.

Like, I’d normally feel pretty weird about the “promiscuous gay” stereotype being invoked, but I’m way too busy feeling weird that the author thinks it’s normal for gay guys to want to screw a panda because the panda happens to be gay too. Also, keep in mind Snoofles can only talk to Tiaa — the dudes he’s having sex with can’t understand him. I’m gonna say a panda who behaves like a human and owns a car is probably capable of consenting, but I still feel mighty weird about the idea that two dudes who perceive Snoofles as an ordinary, non-talking panda would want to have a threesome with him.

I guess the promiscuity aspect isn’t even bad considering how Tiaa and Edward have been acting with each other throughout the fic. The bestiality, though, I have trouble overlooking.

(i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!)

Sure, but do you even know how to drive? In most states, it’s not legal to get a learner’s permit until you’re Tiaa’s age, so we’re not talking “experienced driver with superhuman reflexes,” we’re talking “superhuman reflexes, but on somebody who quite possibly has never sat in the driver’s seat of a car before.”

but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness. 

But was his black hair like the black feathers of a black raven in the black darkness? I just want to be clear on the color.

he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword (i often have it with me!) but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up! 

Oh, of course, her samurai sword. Yep. Been with her the whole time.

Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other - it was so cute but now was SO not the time! 

She’s being attacked by a group of ten or more people, who have overpowered her, restrained her, and blindfolded her, in the middle of the road. Three people (well, a person, a vampire, and a panda) are present and they don’t notice this happening at all.

Like… I know they’re all intoxicated and, uh, otherwise occupied at the moment, but did they not at least pause to notice Tiaa slamming on the brakes to avoid colliding with a stranger in the road?

The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.

when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move.

Tiaa has superhuman strength and reflexes. She has telekinetic abilities. She can affect objects and people by touching them. 

Yet she can’t get out of being chained to a chair?

I call BS.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted.

She sounds like Wheatley from “ITS MY LIFE!” now.

"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY!

Jacob’s a big dude who can turn into a wolf, but he’s also about fifteen and just learning about the whole werewolf thing, so I doubt he’d be “king” of anything. Also Tiaa could take him easy.

"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted.

I don’t know why she reacted so negatively to Jacob’s response. There is a longstanding vampire/werewolf feud in the Twilight universe, but Tiaa is very newly turned and shouldn’t know about any of that yet. Learning your kidnapper is a werewolf sucks, but if you’re already a vampire you’ve got an edge too.

"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.

"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like. 

So… not like rain, then.

"YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD! 

I’ve got to change this blog’s name right away. I don’t know what I was thinking naming it “The Half-World” when I could have named it “The Half-Bread.”

Also, hold up — what did Tiaa do to Bella? Is this just about “stealing” Edward? Jacob and Edward aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, and if Bella’s single Jacob has a chance with her, so if anything I think he owes Tiaa a thank-you.

YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" 

Well, this really does speak for itself.

This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down. 

Sounds like my second-grade teacher. She was the daughter of a well-known Republican senator and she had to resign after she tied a kid to a chair with a jump rope. True story.

But something he said had caugt my attention .

Good job on the punctuation.

"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said.

What do you think he meant, genius?

"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!" 

I guess this does explain Tiaa’s extra powers, but, I have to say, I don’t think Jacob gets to criticize anyone else for being freaky when he can turn into a wolf.

Of corse! It all made sense now! 

It didn’t all make sense. There’s still an interspecies gay threesome that needs explaining.

I was so shocked I fainted,

and also got my periods and commas mixed up,

When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.

Honest to god I love these similes. 

he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me! 

I think I have an idea, actually.

but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!

IT WAS EWDARD!

Here to save the day! And to end the fic, because this is it for “Forbiden Fruit”: BeckyMac666 left us all on a cliffhanger, so we’ll never know what happens.

I do genuinely love this fanfic. I love how it’s written, I love the similes, I love the purple prose and the melodramatic tone, and I love my girl Tiaa. It’s a truly fantastic badfic, and I’m happy I got to introduce others to it, too.

[mywildloves]

A Whole Buncha Stuff

My neck hurts more today than it did yesterday. Yesterday, I was working and it got better over time. But now its... I dont even know anymore. I think Im at the point where I might actually have to go see a doctor? Ugh. 

Jared said to me this morning, “Wanna take a quick trip to the ER and just get it checked out?”, and Im like, “ A quick trip to the ER? Whats that like 5 hours?” Hahahaha. He’s sweet for offering, but Im not spending my Saturday in the ER. Not for this. It doesn't hurt bad enough for that. Its just annoying at this point.

Speaking of health issues, let me divulge some extremely private health stuff as you do on the internets. I saw my doctor last week, or two weeks ago, whenever it was, because I felt swollen lymph nodes in the back of my neck and panicked because that plus all of this weight loss and EXTREME FATIGUE, equals Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. So Im like, yeah let me get on that. So, when I went he was shocked when he saw me, because of how much weight Ive lost. Then I told him about the lymph nodes and he checked me out. He took about 3 large vials of blood from me. And as the blood was filling in the tube I was like, “sooooo, whatcha looking for doc?” and he said, “Everything.” Hahahahaha. I did laugh at that.

Turns out Im fine. The only thing wrong with me is that my iron levels are really low, and my vitamin D  as well. Like thats not a shocker considering I work in the dark and I never go outside when Im home (Ive been making more of an effort lately though). The iron also explains why Im exhausted all of the time. These things make sense. 

So thats great, right? Ok, so now can someone PLEASE TELL ME WHY IVE LOST MY APPETITE THEN??? 

Ill tell you what it is. Its stress. Thats it. Plain and simple. Its stress! I dont know what my cortisol levels were, he didnt say, but it has to be stress. Theres nothing else thats wrong with me. Not my thyroid (he said the levels were fine), not my white blood cell count. Nothing but fucking iron and vitamin D. Its stress. And yeah, I get it. Theres no tangible way to say for sure whether something is stress related other than to look at cortisol levels in the blood, or, take the person out of the stressful situation and see if they do better. Guess what? I ate when I was i the hospital. Its stress. 

And thats fucking bullshit. 

[celestialallstars]

Episode 11: “The odds are against me but I’m gonna make it....” - Loris

FUCK YOU MATT. FUCK YOU JACK. FUCK YOU STEPHEN. FUCK THIS CAST. YALL LYING ASS HOES SUCK MY FUCKING NIPPLES

Right now, I've got a mixture of feelings. On one end, I guess the tribal showed were some people's loyalties lie, but on the other I couldn't help but feel like it was a bit much. Like everybody in this game has literally lied and like I don't know, I understood Jack and Matt's frustration but it was a big yikes to see it get so tense and everyone get worked up. Like had my laptop not shut off, I would have likely snapped tonight and I think I'm seeing the good and the bad of things right now and it's just...a mess. Not to mention the 8 man alliance couldn't get it together until the 11th hour.

Fuck. Fucking fuck. Matt is finally gone, and this time we pulled it all off to keep him until Jared fucking pulled out an idol. How did he even know it was gonna be Chloe anyways? Man. I can't help but wonder if he wouldn't have played it had Matt and I shut our mouths but I think he would've anyways. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let him lie again in public about that I had to expose him. Now he's got no idol, he's got few allies (I think), he's totally vulnerable and I pray to god we get him in the next 2 rounds.

It just occurred to me that I had a part in the chaos tonight. Stephen was already worried about the vote, but if I don't talk to Jack/Mitch then none of the last minute plan to vote Chloe happens I feel or gains as much momentum, then half the craziness that happened tonight at tribal does not happen at all....I saved Steph but at the cost of seemingly having Jared cost his game.

________________________________________________________________

I'm really drained at the moment between the school stuff and this game and now Jared claims my name was around for this round, or at least it was Bryce's plan. It did not phase me because I already wanted to go against Bryce/Zach but now it at least gives me another reason. AS of all of the craziness, my gut told me to try and stick it out with Michael/Chloe. I believe that between Rhys/Bryce/Zach's sketchiness, Jack just being himself, and Loris, I'd rather just try things out with the others. At this point, I'm kind of over a lot of the BS that people keep trying to sell. Having that said, I firmly believe that things need to get outted tomorrow unless we attempt a full on blindside.

I keep checking my messages as though someone wants to talk to me. Spoiler alert: they don’t.

Sooooo YESTERDAY WAS A DAY!

It started off so simple, Matt seemed to be the target for the majority alliance and Michael/Chloe didn't seem very interested in keeping him around. So I came up with a scheme that I think may have tied into someone else's scheme. But I didn't know it at the time. ANYWAYYYYY...

Matt's going home, but I don't want to vote him. Why? Because I wanna strengthen my relationship with Jack, so I approach both of them to talk about things and figure out who they're voting for. Matt was very antagonistic and I figured out this is because he heard I was saying his name, which was true! I get them to say a name they'd rather have taken out, and it's Chloe. Sure. Me and Chloe barely talk tbh. So I essentially go around getting pissy about wanting to vote Chloe instead of Matt to my alliance because I need to sell it anddddddd........

They... Want to vote her out? SKDJSKDKSKSKSKSKAKSK

Ummmm this wasn't the plan! Everyone except Loris and Jared want to do it. Okay. Whatever. I'm too deep in now to flip back, sorry Chloe!

THEN JARED PLAYS THE IDOL SKSKDKDMSKSKSKSKSSM

Ok but why didn't you use that idol to save Mitch hm?

Sketchy bitch.

Soooo I hear afterwards that Zach and Bryce had a chat with Jack and Matt and apparently they might have wanted to vote Chloe anyway????? But then why let the vote be Matt for the entire day? When we all would've voted Chloe if they just said her name originally? And now Jared also has a chat with Chloe and Michael? Worst allies ever.

Idk Zach and Bryce are sketchy and I've known that since the Mitch vote. Maybe they should watch their backs in the near future ......

First off I was SO happy for Loris! It would have been nice to immunity, but I know with all of the distracting things I had for the day that I did good with the few hours I had. This makes me wonder if it will continue a trend I see in a lot of orgs where I begin to place in the top 4 a lot in the late game. Only time shall tell. Going into this tribal, I for once feel great. Making a new alliance with Loris/Michael/Chloe/Jared all the while keeping Stephen in the loop. I'll still smile and wave in the 13th, three kings, literally any other chat but as far as I'm concerned, I'm ridding my hands of that. Hope its not too early to feel good (it is)

________________________________________________________________

So I did some thinking and for a bit I had a feeling me or Bryce would get 10th. This was just because Karth came in 20th and Kori in 15th, which had to mean one of us would come in 10th and the other in 5th. Time to see how accurate this prophecy is

Day 25......... gross. So disregarding the challenge because yikes the whole game seems to be flipped on and the best part is that I don’t put myself forward as a target and Jared and Chloe are seen as this tight duo so I expect them to be targeted over myself. However chris and loris both expressed disappointment in how the game has been progressing and Bryce and zach both came to me to strategise so hopefully I’m in some sort of power position in the game however chris has pulled this before where he’s so sad he didn’t get his way and so disappointed and nothing has changed so right now my focus is on how to get myself forward in the game with hopefully more to come and Bryce will hopefully be eliminated this round.

Soooooo I had to abstain from the challenge for work but that's okay. I don't think I'm the target anyway.

The biggest news is that Jared has added onto his old group of Chloe and Michael to create a new majority. One that is planning to overthrow the old one in the near future. Based on what Chris has told me, the additions are himself and Loris.

The issue is, based on what Jared has told me, that Loris wants to wait one more round before locking things down. I see why he'd want to do this. Jack could easily slip through the cracks of the impending majority vs. majority war and that puts him within reach of an easy win at FTC in my opinion.

Jack might actually go home unanimously if things keep up like this. It'd be sad, because I just really started putting work into my relationship with him recently, but it really doesn't seem worth it when, even if I save him, I'll likely be targeting him within 2 or 3 rounds anyway. Cyrena? More like, sayonara.

Of course, if last vote is any indication, this can all change in a couple of minutes! So who the fuck knows. There's still 3 hours until tribal and if I can convince the 5 in power to pull their move now I wouldn't mind it at all.

hi!! ok so like... I won immunity??? and it was a creative challenge???? I’m so shocked and proud of myself I rlly tried to snap and things went wrong but I still SNAPPED!!! and now I made single digits oh my god!!! like... 9th or above I’m so happy with but of course I’m gonna win anyways. so. I suggested an alliance with me chloe Chris michael Jared to Chris and Jared and now it’s a real thing and like.. we just need to get people to vote jack for themselves and then we can run the game perry add. That could be a serve. I genuinely feel like I’m in a rather good spot this game I don’t think anyone should want to vote me out except stephen  maybe??  jack is hard to read because I’m not sure he talks To that many people ... idk... also oh my god so I just need to survive 3 more tribals and then I can play my legacy.... and like I’ll be so proud of myself if I get to do that. both seasons I find the legacy in round one(?) and I manage to hold onto it until the final six both times ?? like.. the odds are against me but Im gonna make it....

girl idk. i feel in danger because of lack of talk. everyone wants jack out. id prefer chloe. the only votes we can get are bryce, rhys, jack and myself. loris is dumb. HE WONT idk. jareds legit playin super well and good for him but ppl needa wake up and start knockin off his +1’s so hes easier to take out in the future. but who cares. these people are gonna end up lettin like jared or chris win .. and good. i suppose they deserve it.

im just super tired. partly due to this game but partly because of irl factors... so i just cant go chaotic. its so fun but soooo draining, and its hard when everyone leaks things and jared wants to be dumb and idol. it wasnt dumb. im petty. its real dumb.

im just trying to get ppl on my side but it seems so hard NNNN so . we’ll see

My names going round again 🤠

Ever since I played the idol on Chloe (which was indeed an in the moment decision), I feel a lot better about my spot in the game.

I revealed basically everything to Chris. There was very little that I left out. I told him about the F2 with Bryce, and my motivations behind every decision so far.

Sometimes overbearing trust comes out of overbearing promises. I still need someone to have my back no matter what, so being open with Chris was necessary. I still will try my best to keep Bryce in the game. I need them to war with each other because it will be a long term buffer for me. In terms of F3 plans, I'm not sure. I have options between Chris, Rhys, Chloe, Michael, Stephen, and Loris. I wouldn't mind staying true and taking Bryce as far as I can, but eventually his number will be up and I think that will be better for my chances to win anyways.

Today I finally pulled the trigger and Chris and I put together this 5some of him, Chloe, Michael, Loris, and myself called "starpower."

I will have to be cheeky with Chris to stay in a better spot than him, because he doesn't have strict promises with Bryce as far as I know.

Tonight Jack will go home which was Loris' call. I think it's fine because either way next round Stephen will want a big target out and he needs me to make it happen. I want that target to be on Zach, because I think Zach is the current frontrunner to win, and I think voting him will suit Stephen.

With that being said, it will take a smooth game from hear on out to not be a total goat. I'll try my best.

Feeling very strange about this vote. It's another sort of last minute vote, we've all kind of agreed to do a hard reset and vote Chloe again, but now that I've seen one idol play I can't help but feel like there's another coming, and this time it'd directed towards me potentially. I think I'm gonna propose possibly splitting votes just to cover our bases, because I do feel like Jared and Chloe are now gonna want to target me for no reason other than it's convenient.

If someone idols Jack tonight I’m gonna scream 🤡

So, I wanted Chloe gone this round, because I'm scared she will just float through this game and take a spot at the end. Which is exactly what is happening this vote. People want Jack instead so here we go. Haven't been too active so couldn't have gotten the numbers. Sad times.

Hi so the vote seems to be on  jack which is a little bit anti climatic because everyone was like let’s make a move and then boom jack goes like I thot we were going after bryce zach or rhys but I guess not? Anyway I hope im not being played by bitches right now and people stick to their words. Or at least vote jared/Chloe out

________________________________________________________________

The thing that makes me most nervous going into tribal is that it makes strategic sense for Stephen not to vote with us and instead vote out Jared who’s a far bigger threat than Jack but hopefully the fear of a tie will mean that he makes it 6 and I hope he realises that I’m ok with going against Jared sksksksksk.

THIS game is so sad liek nothing i want happens ppl are just not wanting to do what i want and thats so unlike my first season KJFHDASKJ i just want total control and someone to run the game with but jared is so annoying and is trying to work with the ppl who will vote him out bc hes such a big threat like girl pls just let me have my way and i wont cut u at 4th! im still fuming over the idol play like who does he think he is playing it without letting me know thats all i ask i literally feel pathetic trying to work with him when he clearly has chris/loris/chloe interests ahead of me

________________________________________________________________

Jack is voted out 8-1-1. He becomes the third member of our jury.

Watch Jack’s exit interview take place below:

[survivorathena-motunui]

Ep. 5: Whomst the Heck Let This Occur? ~ Drew

ookay so, I'm pretty sure that I went over the 'merge tribe" so I'm going to kip that and go right into it and talk about the challenge, which I think I might have touched on too BUT! I'm going to just say that hgdfigfijgjlkhkgfkgifhi I could have slept after all. but I'm so happy that me and Lori won, its a little funny and a little scary too, I think that the next challenge, I shouldn't try so hard. but we still need to win. The tribe swap was fun, I hate school yard picks but at least I didn't have to  pick between my first alliance and my real alliance, so this worked out right.

And with that tribal I now know I'm at the bottom of this tribe, but honestly, what's new. 

hi. i was just voted out. i'm sad. :(

I can't wait for Kevin to destroy us in the flash game. Side note, my cat looked hella adorable during kbdbxhrbeh 's tribal.

I had a plan, a very touchy plan but I like trying to mix things up and I really liked the idea of keeping Jay and Kevin from getting too close to Drew. The plan as to go to rocks, I'm safe though to so clearly I am more willing to do crazy things, but if it had been the other way around I still would have done it. So, go to rocks with the votes going to Jay and Kevin. Me, Drew, Jack = Jay Kevin, Jay, Sydney = Kevin. Then rocks would be drawn for Drew, Jack and Sydney. I could care less who actually went home at that point but meh. Jay said its too complicated and that we should just keep it simple.  Which is very very true, but I thought that it would be hella fun to the people that are watching but that it would also be very testing for us to really see who is really in this alliance. But whatever, before that I was thinking that I wanted Sydney to go home so when Jay said that she wanted to vote her I was more then happy and then when Drew suggest her too it was all the more perfect. So she went home and we didn't have to go to rocks, as far as the pink tribe is concerned we have the numbers now but meh, we now all know that's not my end game. 

I feel like we are going to lose this challenge, Kevin is a flash game beast and if we do, I'm going to be the one going home.

Jess told me how close most of their tribe was and clearly Keegan and I don't have a good working relationship, which is nice to figure out now. I was hoping to find something helpful in the reef but of course, I can't find a single thing.

Now I just have to hope Steven flops harder than me and I can use that to keep myself safe. I'm going to keep talking to Ashley too cause if I can make her like me, that will help a lot.

First of kinda sad that we're probably winning but oh well I guess we'll have the numbers when we merge tomorrow *winks at Amanda* Second... Jesus almighty JD is CRACKED. All of her plans are just...like, not only are they crazy, but I just don't understand them. Last round she was like "hey let's vote for each other and make our tribe go to rocks" and we're like "we could also do it in a simple way" and then after we vote out Sydney she's just like "hey Jay let me log into your account" and I'm like ConfusedLadyMeme/KillBillSirens.mp3 like????? Lord help me

Me..... Actually surviving the first swap vote? Whomst the heck let this occur? I'm screaming because I actually really like the people I'm with now??? Like i know i could be hella fucked because jay hosted jd and Kevin hosted jack so like there are bonds there that I can't touch. I don't know how another vote in this tribe could go. Maybe jack and jd would stick with me but maybe they wouldn't. I'm not sure I have to worry about that though because um..... I'm too good with the heteronormative giraffes. Those straight beasts and I have an understanding. Orisinal has always been good to me but today I reached a new threshold. So I feel comfortable that I won't be going to tribal tomorrow. If we do end up winning, I PRAYYYYYY that LA goes home because I'm not ready to lose the options of Alex, Ashley, and Keegan yet. I feel so astonishingly connected in this game right now, and I'm gonna have to watch my bonds with such a critical eye. This game might be the one to force me back to my old ways as a heartbreaker and villain, a place I haven't descended to since March (hey Duncan) because no matter how the splits of merge end up playing out, I'm going to have friends on both sides. Good people will die. So the morally questionable can rise. Now taking applications for the Drew's Luvs Support Group! Y'all meet on Sundays. In the jury. I won't be there. 

So last tribal Colin was voted out because I flipped. LA seems a bit angry with me for not telling her I was flipping and assuming I was sticking with them to vote Steven. I'm trying to smooth things over. And we just lost the immunity challenge. Which is no surprise since Drew was on the other tribe and he tends to destroy in these kinds of challenges. Like he single handedly got 8 times the score out entire tribe had. Alex, Ashley and Steven are probably going to want to vote out LA. If so, I need to decide if it's worth trying to save her or not. I can play my idol on her or even give it to her to play herself. Worst case scenario, they try to vote me out and I play my idol. If I get even the slightest bit of paranoia I'm going to play it. Better to use it and not need it than need it and not use it. Right now, I don't know what's best for my game. Preferably voting out Steven or Ashley. But I don't know Jf Alex would go for that. If we enter the merge (which is presumably after this vote) and LA is voted out, OG Taranaki will be down 3-6. If my alliance with Drew and Alex is actually happening, those numbers don't really matter. But I'd like to have the options and not have to rely on others. 

I REGRET NOT PICKING DREW SO MUCH. I DID THIS MYSELF, WHY DID Y'ALL LET ME BE A CAPTAIN AshleyAlright so I feel horrible about this freaking Giraffe challenge. I had some stuff going on and couldn't even get a score in but apparentlt no score would have helped my tribe escape the inevitable fate or losing to motherfucking Drew. Ugh. So now I am afraid I might go this tribal but Alex and Steven are thibking to vote LA and I trust them. However, I do really like LA, and I dont know how JD would feel if we voted her off. I definitely think she is more likely to have an idol.... This could be interesting. If she does have an idol, fingers crossed ahe wont be voting me. 

GOD BLESS DREW -JACK REALLY?!??!? I feel like if you broke that game then you should get all the credit for the win. I got half of the other teams score. If Jay a d Kevin had actually had time to put into it they would have gotten better scores and we wouldn't need to... I don't wanna say cheat because the way the game is set up, it would be fairly easy to get a really high score. With every kiss your points you're able to get go up by 100, to get a million I think I only played for about 20 minutes without missing one and it's very possible that if you play for an hour with out missing that you could get a very high score and since there was a pause button you didn't have to play it completely straight out. So I'm not saying he cheated and I'm not mad at him because I've we won and whatever but just... I had the next best score  and I'm proud of myself and I got half of the other teams score and I had to work. #Attentionwhore 

Sooooo change in plans? Maybe? Possibly? LA made me an offer/suggested a plan to me earlier. Basically get out Alex before he gets too far. She said he was too confident and was good at socializing. I totally see these points. However, I was feeling very uneasy about this plan. So I went to Keegan. And he said something about Alex mentioning that HIS group was all set for this upcoming vote.... Like excuse me? I am my own person. So LA,Keegan and I might be starting our own little love triangle to take down the world. 

Some interesting things are happening. LA wants to vote out Alex now and is trying to get Ashley to vote with us. Assuming I vote with them (Alex and Steven are voting LA). I'm really debating giving my hidden immunity to LA for her to play it and voting for her tonight. If Ashley doesn't flip and vote out Alex, it'll be 4-1 for LA, she'll be safe and Alex goes. But if Ashley does actually flip, I'd really rather not use my idol. This is a tricky situation. I'm pretty sure I'm part of Alex's "group" that he told LA about. Alex, Drew and myself are supposed to be working together come merge. On one hand, I really would like to work with both of them. But if I vote out LA tonight/let her get voted out, OG Taranaki will be down 6-3. That's scary if Alex and Drew decide they don't want to work with me. I've got an hour to figure things out. Whatever I decide to do, I'm hoping it's the right move for me right now and for me in the future. ________________________________________________________________ It's looking like Alex is the vote tonight. Ashley and I bonded tonight and I believe she's voting Alex with LA and myself. This is a big move. I might be losing the opportunity to work with Drew. But I've gained two allies in the process. ________________________________________________________________ Waiting for tribal. Why do I feel like I'm suddenly the vote?