#this is something i mentioned on twitter but thought it deserved a longer explanation

[yujachachacha]

Love Live height differences - a cautionary tale

I went on a LL seiyuu video binge session recently, and came across a Korean-subbed video of a clip from Shikaco’s radio show. I’m too lazy to try subbing it, but I liked the contents enough that I want to at least share it as a text post.

On Ep130 of Shikaco’s radio (air date: September 27, 2016), Shikaco received a fan letter asking if there were anything that she particular liked or disliked about being tall for a girl. Shikaco quips that she’s definitely on the tall side, but she’s not super-duper tall when it comes down to it.

(For those of you too lazy to Google it, Shikaco is 163cm tall, which is just under 5′4″. So yeah, tall for a Japanese female, but not that tall.)

Shikaco does note that she was the tallest in µ’s, though. That leads her to mention that one big downside to her height was that since Hanayo is a short girl, Shikaco often had to crouch down to match Hanayo’s pose for µ’s formations. It wasn’t just a slight bending of the knees either - she’d scrunch down to nearly half of her normal height. Shikaco laughs about how this really screwed with her leg muscles, but then she starts to become more serious.

Around the time of the 4th live, Shikaco had been complaining a lot about her thighs hurting all the time, especially when they’d have to walk down stairs. The way that Shikaco tells this portion of the story makes it seem that her complaints were mostly lighthearted at the time. After a while though, she went, “Wait, what if this is an actual problem?”, and decided to get a check up at a hospital. It turns out that she had developed muscle damage because of the constant abuse to her posture Σ(ﾟДﾟ ). Her word of advice to everyone: it’s not good to crouch down so much!

Some of us might be aware of how the seiyuu go through a lot just to match the hairstyles and hair colors of the characters, such as:

Ucchi enduring a bajillion pins in her hair for Kotori’s hair loop

Soramaru measuring the part in Nico’s bangs at exactly 35º

Nanjolno going through 6+ different wigs for Eli’s “simple” ponytail

Pile and Ucchi and Kussun dyeing their hair for Final Live

Shukashuu cutting her hair short for the first time in her life

Suwawa and Furirin partially dyeing their hair for 1st Live

There’s also the grueling training they have to go through to survive singing and dancing in front of thousands of people for two-day live concerts. But to worry about the character’s height on top of that…these girls work so hard for this franchise, and every story I hear about what they’ve done for the sake of the characters and the fans makes me love them even more. (இ⌓இ )

Bonus - some thoughts I had about Aqours heights while typing up this post:

While I’m on the subject of heights, let’s talk about the “Shikaco” (AKA the tallest in the group) of Aqours - King.

Supposedly, King is also 163cm tall. Based on this number, King is a whopping 11cm taller than Hanamaru - compare that to Shikaco’s 7cm height difference with Hanayo.

Note: I say “supposedly” because Arisha’s official profile says that her height is 164cm, which means that she should be taller than King. However, there’s lots of evidence that proves otherwise, such the fact that AZALEA lines up in height order of Suwawa-Arisha-King for their subunit greeting. If that’s not enough for you, then take a look at the LisAni lineup photo.

Ignoring the fact that Rikyako is in front of Shukashuu despite the two of them supposedly being 152cm and 150.5cm tall respectively (I refuse to believe that Shukashuu is truly taller than Rikyako *shakes fist at photo*), this lineup is a good guide on the height order for the seiyuu of Aqours. At the very least, you can see that King is unmistakably the tallest. King’s agency profile doesn’t list her height, so that 163cm floating around on Google results for “takatsuki kanako height” is probably inaccurate if we assume that Arisha isn’t straight-up lying about her own height, haha.

The only solid evidence we have for heights is during the very first Aqours niconama back in January 2016 (it’s been over a year since then, omg time sure does fly). Suwawa had recounted a story of how shocked she was at the placement of the mic when she was recording for the KimiKoko album - as Furirin had gone before her - and her amazement that someone that small was in the cast, as the seiyuu had not met each other at that point. Furirin then mentions that she and King have the ideal 15cm height difference for couples. Seeing as Furirin outright says that she’s 148cm tall (at about 49:17), this is where we get the 163cm figure for King. Arisha and Ainya then explicitly say that they’re 164cm and 147cm tall respectively when they point out their own lovely height difference and thus the kmny ship was born.

I’m still not convinced that Arisha is supposed to be taller than King. Perhaps the 15cm height difference between Furirin and King is just a ballpark, like how Arisha and Ainya also claimed the title with their 17cm difference, because King would have to be at least 17cm taller than Furirin to be taller than Arisha. Whatever the case may be, for the sake of having a concrete number to discuss, I’m just gonna assume that King is somehow both 163cm tall and the tallest seiyuu in Aqours.

Incidentally, the biggest character-seiyuu height difference is the 16cm gap between Mari and Ainya, standing at 163cm and 147cm respectively - breaking the previous 12cm record held by Eli and Nanjolno, at 162cm and 150cm. Guess Love Live has a thing for short singers voicing tall blondes.

…wow, I got really off-topic with the height talk there.

Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m lowkey praying for King to not pull a Shikaco and screw up her muscles or something from playing the part of a character who’s a lot shorter than she is. IIRC King has said something before about trying to make herself appear more small when voicing Maru. (꒪⌓꒪) Hope she takes care of her health!

[ijustwant2write]

The Miracle Question-Bucky Barnes x Reader

(GIF credit to @sebastianruinedme​)

Summary: When Bucky doesn’t tell (Y/N) that he missed his appointment, nearly getting into trouble with the government, she becomes furious and upset with him. She demands to have a session with him, wondering if their relationship is as stable as they thought it was, and if it’s actually making Bucky worse. To add to her anger, the new ‘Captain America’ decides to step in.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader (platonic), John Walker x Reader (acquaintances), Lemar Hoskins x Reader (acquaintances)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Mentions of therapy, arguing, slight violence, fluff

                                  *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Why would he do something like this and not tell me? He was doing so well with his appointments, and although I knew he wasn't enjoying them, at least he was going so he could get them over and done with. We hardly spoke of them, he was never the one to bring up the topic, it was always me; I just wanted to know how he was doing, I cared for him so much, and it was hurting me to think he wasn't able to open up.

"Sam." I got his attention as I briskly walked into the police station.

"Hey," he could see I was upset, immediately using a calmer tone,"he's alright. His therapist is here, she's got everything sorted."

"But why did it take me watching a video on twitter of my boyfriend being arrested to know about this?"

No one had called. Surely I was one of his emergency contacts? And if I (bizarrely) wasn't, why hadn't Sam called me?

Sam sighed."He didn't want you to know. He missed an appointment he had to go to and-"

"Didn't want me to know?!" I raised my voice, not caring if I grabbed the attention of anyone around us.

Sam held up his hands, trying to quieten me."Look, I'm not getting involved with your personal matters. That's up to you two. Just keep your voice down, we are in a police station."

I scoffed in disbelief."Why didn't he want me to know? He knew I would be angry, but I would never argue about it with him, or make him feel bad about it. I would support him."

"I know you wouldn't, and so does he. Bucky is still getting used to opening up, even with you. He just doesn't want to hurt you."

“Sam,” an older woman interrupted us,“I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Doctor Raynor, I’m James’ therapist.”

They shook hands.“It’s so nice to meet you.”

Raynor put her attention on me, also shaking my hand.“You must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the girlfriend. I’ve also heard a lot about you.”

“You have? Oh, didn’t think he would talk about me that much.”

“Thank you for getting him out.” Sam quickly interjected. 

“Oh, that was not me.”

“Christina!” another voice called out.

We all turned to see who called, and I almost rolled my eyes when I saw who it was. John Walker, the new ‘Captain America’, was headed our way, almost swaggering. People immediately wanted pictures which he agreed to, and although I know Steve might have done the same in some cases, it wouldn’t be a priority for him, nor would he look like was was enjoying it. Although I didn’t want to judge others before knowing them, America had given the title to some random man, forgetting that Steve was not only a hero, but a friend and family to people like us. 

“It’s great to see you again.” Walker said as he shook someone’s hand.

“You gotta be kidding me, you know him?” Sam mumbled.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.”

“Heard you were working with Bucky so I thought I would step in.” he said as he approached.“Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.”

“We haven’t finished our work. Who’s authorised this?”

“Um...” he smiled as he gestured to himself.

Who was he to come in here and change everything? Bucky was doing well in his therapy sessions...or at least I assumed he was, we never spoke about it. And I hated the way he called him ‘Bucky’; only close ones were allowed to call him that. 

A loud buzzer sounded throughout the station, and I whipped my head around, relieved to see Bucky walking out with two police officers. I no longer listened to Walker, running towards my boyfriend. He easily caught me as I threw my arms around him, not caring that the policemen escorting him out were watching.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, seeming both worried and annoyed.

“Bucky, you got arrested! I had to come see you, make sure you’re OK. Why didn’t you get someone to call me? Also, why did you miss your session anyway?”

“It’s a long story. And it’s not worth telling.”

“What are you talking about?”

Bucky’s eye line was now on Walker as he shouted over his shoulder,“I’ll be outside.”

Before I could say anything else, Dr. Raynor spoke,“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam and (Y/N).”

“That’s OK. I’ll be out here with-”

She interrupted Sam.“That wasn’t a request.”

Bucky was silent as he slid away, reluctantly following the doctor. I tried holding his hand, but he was making it difficult to even grab it in the first place. My heart sank at the thought of Bucky not wanting me there, not even wanting to be comforted. When these sessions first began, he would come home and want to be held, be comforted; sometimes he asked if he could hold me, just to ensure that I was there with him, that I could feel safe in his arms. That was happening less and less now, it scared me to think he didn’t want this relationship anymore. 

We were sat in an interrogation room, Dr Raynor on one side and two chairs on the other. She told Bucky and I to sit first, and that she would deal with Sam later. Nerves suddenly washed over me, petrified of what sort of answers Bucky was going to give.

“OK, so we can all sense a lot of tension in this room. And although I’m going in a slightly unprofessional route, I feel that we all need to do this to ensure you are all OK, that is my job after all. So, who wants to go first?”

She looked between me and Bucky. Part of me wanted to get the confrontation out of the way, perhaps that would make things go quicker and we would get out of here sooner. But my fear held me back. 

“No volunteers? Wow, that’s surprising. Okay. We’re going to do any exercise. It’s something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what sort of life they wanna build together. Are you familiar with the miracle question?”

I nodded.“Yes.”

“No.” Bucky answered at the same time. 

“OK, it goes like this. Suppose that while you’re sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?”

Shit, that was deep. There’s a million things I could think of that I wanted with Bucky. We used to talk about it all the time. He wanted security in knowing that I wanted a life with him, and I wanted the same, hoping that one day it would happen. Glancing at him, Bucky was slouched in the chair, staring at his hands folded together on his lap. It didn’t look like he was going to be saying anything soon, so I took the first step.

“Um...” I started, unsure how to word this.“I would want to take away any suffering Bucky has gone through, so that he could have a somewhat normal life, and didn’t have to force himself through things like this. No offence doctor. That way he wouldn’t have to feel pressured into opening up and he would tell me anything that was on his mind.”

“That’s a good start.” Raynor slowly said.“And it’s a very sweet sentiment, but it’s what you want, (Y/N).”

“That is what I want. All I want is for Bucky to be happy, I love him.”

“Again, very sweet, I know you care about him very much. But let’s try looking at it a different way. You want your miracle to be that James opens up more. That he lets you into the side of his life you don’t get to see in person.”

“I...I guess.”

“You feel left out of the equation, because James won’t express how he’s feeling?”

“Yeah, when you put it like that, that’s what I want. I want my boyfriend to be able to feel like he can tell me anything, no matter how gruesome, traumatic or even little it is.”

“Right. Glad we got there in the end. OK James, your turn.”

I watched in anticipation for Bucky to speak. What if I had messed things up? What if that was the opposite of what he wanted? 

“My miracle would be...not having you involved in that side of things.”

He didn’t even look at me as he spoke. He also didn’t look phased by his answer. So his miracle would be to not have me know about a huge part of his life? He was a hero for god’s sake! Why was he shutting me out? What had I done to deserve this? Had I hurt him in some way that made him feel that he couldn’t talk to me anymore?

“What? Bucky, have I done something to upset you?”

“I just think it would be easier for both of us.”

“You know I’m always here for you, right? We’ve spoke about this before, I don’t understand why you’re only expressing this now.”

Raynor tried to get us back on track.“Alright you two, I think we need to dissect this-”

“I’m sorry doctor but I would like Bucky to elaborate more on this matter, because I’m not fully understanding.”

“What’s not to understand?” he finally looked at me, but I hated this expression. It was as if I had asked the stupidest question in the world.

“Bucky, why are you being like this? You used to tell me about everything, what’s changed?”

He didn’t answer. I just scoffed, hastily grabbing my handbag and coat.

“(Y/N), please sit down.” Raynor asked. 

“I can’t. I can’t sit here and wait for an explanation that I’m not going to get. Just focus on the two heroes, I’ll find out about all of this never.”

I rushed out of the room, breathing heavily as I tried not to cry, but my eyes were already watering. Ignoring looks from people in the waiting room, I couldn’t stop myself from starting to cry. Although I had every reason to be upset that my boyfriend wasn’t communicating with me anymore, I also felt slightly guilty for just storming out of there. Maybe we would have resolved it. 

“Miss, you OK?” 

Oh, I did not want to deal with Walker right now. He would only piss me off.

“Do you need help? We can provide assistance if you need it.”

Although I had wanted to walk away, I knew I should have, my feet were already leading me towards him. I was embarrassed that I was still crying, but I tried to block that from my mind by now. He was leaning against a police car with his friend, who’s name I hadn’t bothered learning.

“You don’t look so good, shall we get a cop to drive you home?”

“Who do you think you are?!” I snapped.

“Well, I’m Captain America-”

“No, you’re someone who thinks they’re anything close to what Steve was. He didn’t go around introducing himself as Captain America, He didn’t care about the title. I understand you’re under a lot of pressure Walker, Steve has a huge legacy to live up to. But don’t you dare come waltzing in expecting those two amazing men to immediately work alongside you like nothing has changed.”

“You got all of that out of your system?”

My eyes widened at him.“Are you serious right now?”

“Look,” his friend butted in,“we just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get mixed up in this. We’re dealing with something major here, it could effect the whole world.”

“Sorry, but who are you?”

He rolled his eyes.“Come on man, how many times? It’s Battlestar.”

My face remained emotionless.

“Lemar Hoskins? You know, the new Captain America with his-”

“I don’t think she cares.” Walker explained. 

“You think I don’t know anything about trying to save the world? My friends are part of the Avengers, my boyfriend fought against Thanos. He disappeared in the Blip and I was left by myself wondering if he would ever come back. I’ve been targeted, I’ve seen aliens close up. Nothing could effect me now.”

“Well, I’m sorry you’ve had to endure that.”

“Do you two just not listen to anyone but yourselves?”

“(Y/N), listen,” Walker dared to put his hand on my shoulder,“you’re a normal citizen like us. No super powers, no hidden strength, yet here you are with a super soldier that’s over a hundred years old! I mean, do the maths here, you could have walked away from all this danger. And yet, here you are, by yourself at a police station, whilst your boyfriend cares more about his ‘job’ than making sure you’re safe.”

That was it, the last straw. I slapped his hand off of me, preparing to punch him square in the face, when someone pulled me back.

“No (Y/N)!” Sam raised his voice as he made sure to distance me away from Walker. He quickly stood in between us. 

“What did you do, Walker!?” Bucky quickly stormed over.“Did you touch her?!”

Sam was desperately trying to diffuse the situation, knowing that people could be watching.“Bucky, calm down.”

“Did he do anything to you?” Bucky asked me quietly, his hands cupping my face as he looked over me.

My heart raced at the gesture, forgetting for a second that I was upset with him. I shook my head with his hands still on me, and they slid down my arms, one wrapping around my waist to keep me close to him. 

“I didn’t touch her Bucky, I was just trying to....you know what, it’s not even important. Can we talk, privately?”

“(Y/N) is staying.”

Walker sighed.“Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

“So what do you got?” Sam said.

“Well the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.”

Lemar spoke up.“They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.” 

“We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps.” Walker added.

“Well, there are a lot of those all over the planet since the Blip.” Bucky pointed out.

“Hundreds probably.” I said. 

“So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.”

Walker smirked.“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?”

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?”

“No, we don’t know, Bucky.” Walker was agitated.“It’s only a matter of time before we find out.”

Bucky had to push his buttons even more.“Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?”

Sam came to stand between us and Walker.“Take it easy. Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorization you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.”

Sam and Bucky turned away, Bucky guiding me with him. Walker called after us.

“A word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way.”

I instantly became defensive.“What the hell is that supposed to mean-”

“It’s OK.” Bucky reassured me, making sure I didn’t go back. Frustrated that Walker got the last word, I hesitantly followed my boyfriend. 

“Hold up,” Sam stopped us,“I think you two need a quick chat before we delve into anything else. You both know that this is something big, we don’t know what we’re fully dealing with yet or how to fix it. Before we do all of that, you two better resolve whatever happened back there. I’ll be waiting Buck.”

We both watched Sam walk away, unsure how to start this conversation. He clearly showed that he still cared for me back there, but should I still be worried that our relationship was headed in a rocky direction?

“You OK?”

“Honestly? No, not really.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Do you realise how much you hurt me back there? I don’t want you to feel like you can’t speak to me anymore. And about me not being involved; what do you think the last years have been like? I know everything, you’ve expressed so much to me, opened up about your past. Why has that suddenly changed?”

“Because we have a chance now. The world is...relatively back to normal. I got an opportunity to make sure you’re safer, keep all of these nightmares away from you, not pass on my torture to you.”

“Bucky...what have the past years been for? Nothing needs to change. Just because things are getting back to how they used to be, it doesn’t mean we need to forget about the past. If I don’t know what’s going on with you, how can I look after you? How can I help you?”

“You shouldn’t have to do this-”

“I already made that decision when I knew I wanted to be with you. But we can’t revert back to how it was Bucky, not after all the work and effort we put in.”

“I’m sorry. I really thought I could make everything better.”

I sighed, reaching out to hold his hand.“They already were. I know whatever you’ve got yourself into is big, but I’m here for you Bucky, I always will be.”

“I’m sorry again, I’ll make sure I keep opening up to you. That’s the least you deserve.” 

I went on my tip toes to kiss him, still worried despite everything he had said. Bucky was still fragile, but now he was on another mission. I wasn’t sure if it was the best thing for him, something for him to focus on. Or it could send him in a spiral, and I wouldn’t know anything about it. I had to stay close to this mission, even if it meant I was in danger. Though what would change there? I had to keep an eye on him, I had to make sure he was OK. I loved him too much to let him slip back into the dark.

[multisfabulis]

Wayfinder’s Voyage

Terrestrial (Chapter 2 | 2)

Word Count: 6427

Fun fact, the last part of this chapter was written and finished during Terraqua week on Twitter so this marks the second time I've written a fic for a ship and the ship week just happens to roll around when I get around to writing it. Maybe lightning will strike twice around this time next year!

While I was reading fics on AO3 over the past day, I noticed a couple things. One is that the two people I read the fics from put more thought into their works than I did and I spent a month and a half writing both these chapters. The other is that my interpretation of this ship is vastly different from others which isn't a bad thing! I think my years of writing my original ship of Verreth has gotten me to stay with the "slow" aspect of slowburn with plans of payoff being sometime in the future. I do plan on writing payoff for this ship someday, just at some point in the undetermind future!

One last thing is there's a timeline with this fic! It's not super necessary to know but for those wondering, there's 4 scenes in both chapters and it goes Aqua 1 > Terra 1 > T2 > A2 > A3 > T3 > A4 > T4. Hopefully, that's not confusing!

Read on AO3 | Read on DA | Support me on Ko-fi!

     Today had been a good day, thought Terra as he headed towards the library. He was coming from Aqua’s room after finding that she wasn’t there and figured she’d be at the library studying. They’d finished their daily training earlier so he wanted to spend some time with her before evening rolled around. Besides, he wanted to thank her for helping him out with his magic skills, or lack thereof. It was only because of her guidance he was able to do what he did today.

     He felt like he was in top form. He mastered new techniques for his Keyblade, learned to use some strong magic, and even earned Eraqus’ praise. This was honestly a great day and he wanted Aqua to partake in his revelry. She needed a break from studying anyway so this was as good a time as any.

     He stepped inside the library through the grand set of double doors. Tall bookcases lined the walls from top to bottom, left to right. Sunlight poured in from the great western window, causing the tables sitting in the center to cast large shadows all across the tiled floor. He looked at where she usually sat and, while there was a stack of books and some paper lying on the table, she wasn’t there. That struck him as odd since she normally put things back where they belonged. If she wasn’t in her room or here, something must’ve happened.

     He searched all over for her but he still couldn’t find her. There’s no way she left the Land of Departure so she had to be somewhere. The only place he hadn’t checked yet was the mountain, which he was unsure about. She never ventured far from the building and that was when she was outside but it was the best guess he had. He ran out the front door and down the stairs leading up.

     He didn’t need to look very far. He found her sitting on the edge of the Forecourt with her knees drawn up to her chest, looking off into the horizon. This had happened enough times for him to know she was deep in thought over something. Whatever she was thinking about, it was affecting her to the point she wasn’t acting like her usual self and he couldn’t just ignore her.

     She didn’t seem to acknowledge him when he sat down beside her. He decided to give her some time to see if she wanted to speak first. A moment or two of silence passed before it was made clear he had to be the one to break the ice. Starting off with a question looked to be the right way to go.

     “Everything okay?”

     He saw the corner of her mouth curve up into a tiny smile and she replied, “Yeah, I’m just…thinking.”

     “About what?” he asked.

     She leaned back and let her legs hang off the edge of the Forecourt. “The future, I guess.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Our future as Keyblade Masters, I mean.”

     That caught him off-guard. She wasn’t one to worry about the future, least of all them becoming Masters. She never thought of it as an if, instead an expectation to meet one day, so to hear her say those words concerned him somewhat. The only possible explanation he could think of was that she was starting to doubt herself and her abilities as a Keyblade wielder.

     Of course, that made no sense. Despite her modesty, she’s proven her strength and capabilities more times than he could remember to both him and their master, not to mention she had the heart to show for it. He had the confidence in believing she’d pass her exam with flying colors and become a pretty damn good Keyblade Master. Maybe she just needed to be reminded of that?

     “Hey, if you’re worried about not becoming a Master, I don’t think you have any reason to,” he said in an attempt to reassure her. “Me and Master know you’ll ace your Mark of Mastery exam and---”

     “You don’t understand, that’s exactly what I mean!” After shouting that, she leaned forwards and put her hands in her lap, keeping her eyes fixed on them. “Sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

     So he was wrong, which left him even more confused on what was going on than before. “Then what are you worried about?”

     Breathing in deep, she answered with, “We said we’d become Masters together one day, right? But what happens if we don’t? What if only one of us passes and the other fails?”

     “You mean, if you were to pass and I were to fail?” Was that really what she was tearing herself up over? It’s a possibility that’s stuck with him for a while now and, though he’d prefer it not happen at all, it wouldn’t bother him too much if it came true. “Well, if it happens, it happens. It’s not up to us on whether we become Masters or not, you know that.”

     “But I don’t want to be the only one who passes.” She finally looked at him for the first time since this conversation began. “I don’t want to be a master without you, Terra.”

     Her earnest sincerity flustered him, causing him to avert his eyes away from her gaze as his heart fluttered wildly about. There was a part of him that, admittedly, was touched by her devotion to him. It was just like her to want that and share the enjoyment of hitting that milestone together. But what kind of friend would he be if he let her give up on her dream? It may have been theirs all this time but she stood a real chance at getting it and she deserved it.

     “Aqua, as much as I understand how you’re feeling, you shouldn’t pass up on being a Master for my sake,” he said, hoping that he was getting through to her. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

     “But I don’t want my title to come between us. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want you to…” she trailed off. Looking her way revealed her hands to be clasped tightly together in her lap. Even without that little indicator, she didn’t need to finish for him to know what she meant.

     He slowly reached over, took her hand in his, and held it to ease her shaking. “I could never hate you, Aqua. You’re my friend and I just want you to be happy.”

     When she didn’t respond, he continued on, “That’s why I promise that, if you’re the only one of us who passes, I’ll support you 100% all the way.” He gave her hand a firm yet gentle squeeze. “I give you my word.”

     She stiffened beside him yet she didn’t try to take her hand away. The only sound that broke through the quiet was the ambient noise surrounding them. He watched as her shoulders shook and she wiped unshed tears from the corners of her eyes. Even so, he could see a small smile on her face. Sometimes, all she needed to hear were words of encouragement, which he was more than happy to provide.

     Eventually, she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Now it was his turn to act like he got hit with electricity. Before he could say or do anything more to react, she whispered:

     “Thank you.”

     He hoped she couldn’t see the defeated yet tender smile he had. There was a reason he felt something akin to fondness for her when she did something like this. He liked this part of her, even if it did leave him feeling like a fish out of water sometimes. He rested his cheek against her in an attempt to return her affection. Whether she’d realize that or not remained to be seen.

     “You’re welcome.”

     They stayed like that for as long as they could. From watching the sun set over the horizon to greeting the night sky together, they stayed. Their only witnesses were the stars above them as they twinkled in the darkness.

     Terra let out a yawn as he walked down the corridor leading to his room. He had just gotten back from doing some late night training outside and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. It was tiring yet rewarding, which gave him hope he’d get stronger the longer he kept at it. If he had any chance at becoming a Keyblade Master, he figured this was his best shot.

     It was when he was reaching the library he noticed it. A dull orange glow was emanating from the crack under the set of double doors, which he found to be strange because who could be in there at this late hour? Master would’ve already retired to his chambers earlier in the night so it had to be the only other person living here. Was she still studying, even with it being this late?

     He pushed open the doors and stepped inside, his voice breaking the silence with a single call of her name. He didn’t get an answer and soon realized why. At the furthest table on the east side of the room, with stacks of book piled all around her, was a soundly asleep Aqua. The orange glow he saw before came from the small lamp sitting beside her just within hand’s reach.

     A smile split across his face when he approached her. Her face was buried in an open book and she was holding a pencil in her hand, as if she was writing things down before falling asleep. He’d believe it too, what with all the papers scattered around the table that were full of extensive notes just from a cursory glance alone. It was honestly kinda adorable seeing her like this. He’d ponder on the question of what to do with her but asking himself that yet again would yield no answers.

     Well, there was only one thing left for him to do. He slowly pulled her chair out, tensing up when it seemed she was stirring before relaxing. He set the pencil down beside a stack of books and carefully picked her up so as to not jostle her awake. This had practically become a routine at this point. Then he began the long trek of carrying her back to her room.

     It wasn’t like this was his first time doing this sort of thing. If anything, he’s had to put her to bed more times than he could count lately. He didn’t mind helping her out every now and then but this was starting to turn into a problem. He hoped she wasn’t pushing herself too hard to the point of exhaustion. While her hardworking nature was a trait he greatly admired her for, it was a double-edged sword. He was worried that it’d lead her to an early grave if she didn’t slow down some.

     There was little doubt in his mind she was running herself ragged. She trained and studied hard on a daily basis and that wasn’t even taking into account all the cooking, cleaning, and management of him she decided to put on her shoulders. She seemed more like a mother than a girl two years his junior. Just because she was his fellow apprentice didn’t mean she needed to bear so much responsibility. If only she'd take his words to heart instead of shrugging them off like she usually did.

     They soon made it to her room. He opened the door and carefully maneuvered his way inside with her in his arms. There wasn’t much to remark on in here, aside from the organized tidiness of it all. It was something he always tried to strive for with his own room but he could never quite get on her level. He set her down on the bed, pulling the blanket up over her since it was around that time the weather cooled some. When it came time for him to leave, he left the room and shut the door but not before silently bidding her goodnight. If there was anything he wanted for her to have tonight, it was a restful night’s sleep.

     Now what? Maybe it was perhaps a good idea to clean up her improvised office so it’d save her some time tomorrow. He knew her well enough to know she’d rush over to the library to do the exact same thing the moment she realized she woke up in bed and not there in her chair. It was the least he could do. With a weary sigh, he trudged back to the library, feeling that this was going to be a long night.

     What if he became someone she wouldn’t need to look after anymore? Part of the reason why she didn’t put herself above others was because she was too busy taking care of everyone so it was up to him to lighten the load. If he could show her he’d be fine without her worrying, she might finally think of herself for once. The more he thought about it, the more right it felt. He was going to become a man who could be independent from her so she could get some well-needed rest. It was the best solution he had to this problem and he had to make it work.

     Eventually, he was inside the library again and at her table. His first order of business was to put all the books back in their place, which meant taking apart the stacks, reading their titles, and searching the empty spots in the vast bookcases. Then the papers strewn about had to be organized and put somewhere she could easily see tomorrow. Oh, tonight was going to be a long night, indeed.

     The first few books were easy to find and return. It was when he got to the more complicated ones he had to do a double-take because these were advanced. These were books he was absolutely positive they didn’t need to learn from but she certainly was, if her notes were anything to go by. Just flipping through the pages let him see how complex and intricate everything was for an apprentice to learn yet she made it seem so simple, so straightforward. He had to give Aqua major props for understanding all this since he sure as hell couldn’t.

     Her intelligence was just one of her many amazing qualities. There was her strength, her kindness, her selflessness, her ambition, her determination, even her modesty, although he wished she’d realize the praise heaped upon her by both him and their master was rightfully earned instead of it being said for niceties’ sake. She was a person he was proud to call his friend and he had all the confidence to believe she’d be a superb Keyblade Master. Admiration didn’t come close to how he felt towards her yet it was a small step before falling into adoration.

     He’s known for a while he’d developed feelings for her. It was hard to pinpoint when he became so enamored with her but the way he’s viewed her definitely changed the more they aged. She stopped being a friend a long time ago and was turning into a girl he may or may not have been falling in love with. Everything on that front was a mess of jumbled up knots that would take forever to unravel. His method of dealing with these was to express them quietly, convey them in a way she wouldn’t suspect there being something deeper. He had no idea of when or even if he’d confess because he wasn’t sure there’d ever be a right time.

     Now definitely wasn’t the best time. They needed to focus on their exam and romance should be the last thing on either of their minds. Even the future didn’t seem certain, what with the choice they were supposed to make when they did surpass the rank of apprentice. One would stay and succeed their master while the other would travel to other worlds to protect them from invading Heartless. He didn’t go further down that depressing train of thought. He had plenty of time to decide on when would be good so he didn’t need to worry too much on it.

     Maybe he could tell her when he became independent from her. The day she realized she wouldn’t have to look after him anymore, he’d tell her. That sounded right. It was still a far off dream but it was a dream he could see now.

     He’d wait for that day, no matter how long it took. A part of him almost wanted to believe he was looking forward to it.

     Terra ran inside the ravine, looking behind him to see if the Unversed would dare follow him in. The twisters carrying them still raged on outside and he hoped they’d stay out there. He kept his Keyblade trained at the entrance, ready to defend himself at a moment’s notice. He waited and waited till it became clear they weren’t in hot pursuit of him for him to dismiss his Keyblade, thanking whatever higher power there was for the brief respite.

     The only relatively safe place he had was further inside the ravine. He began walking, running a hand alongside the wall to help keep himself steady as the world spun around him and his body ached. It was about halfway through he collapsed from the exhaustion, falling to his knees while struggling to breathe. He needed to take a break. If he went into battle like this, he would surely lose. He shifted himself into a sitting position and leaned his back against the wall, closing his eyes.

     How did it all end up like this? The dream he worked so hard to achieve, his lifelong dream of becoming a Keyblade Master, slipped from his grasp just when he thought he could reach it. Ven, the boy he saw as a little brother, the friend he swore to protect, was being hunted down by an entity who meant him harm and would stop at nothing to ensure his demise. Aqua would want nothing to do with him after she found out what had happened and he wouldn’t blame her for washing her hands of him. That was if she hadn’t done so already. Then their master, the man they all saw and looked up to as a father figure, he…

     His eyes burned with tears threatening to spill over. He never hated Eraqus, they may have argued at times but he never hated him. He took him, Aqua, and Ven in, raised them as if they were his own, and only wanted what was best for them. Sure, he wasn’t perfect but what parent was? He may have fought him and Ven earlier but he showed genuine regret and wanted to make amends to them both. Terra didn’t want to hurt him, he was just trying to protect his friend, so why? Why did he have to die? He didn’t deserve such a fate, especially one dealt to him by his apprentice and former friend’s hand. If only he could rewind time and try to reason with him, try to undo his death so they wouldn’t have the grief of losing him weighing on their minds. Yet he had no such power so it became another sin he put on his cross to bear.

     How was he going to explain what happened to Ven? The last time they saw each other was when he cast him out the portal before fighting with their master. He was still alive, that much Terra knew, but he didn’t know where he ended up at. The one thing he had to know, though, was why Ven was willing to die by Eraqus’ hand. It wasn’t like he had done anything wrong so why? He didn’t understand what his friend’s death would accomplish, not like he wanted to if it did at any rate. When he eventually learned of the aftermath of that fight, Terra worried it might break him, if everything up to this point hadn’t already. A part of him almost believed Ven would revert back to the despondent boy he was when they first met and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever recover from that. It was a miracle he did over the past four years but this time…

     Then there was Aqua. With how he managed to royally screw things up with her, he had no one but himself to blame. He treated her so awfully, from the hearing of their exam results to their short-lived reunion in Radiant Garden. His first mistake was breaking his promise to her, which was to support her in the event she was the only one to pass and become Master, and she must’ve felt so horrible about it. It wasn’t that he was angry at her for passing, he was just upset at the whole situation that it buried the happiness he felt for her at finally achieving her dream. Then he lashed out at her after it came out she was sent by their master to watch over him to make sure he didn’t succumb to the temptation of darkness. It hurt enough to think Eraqus didn’t trust him but to believe she didn’t, either? Yet they were right. He was led astray so easily and they were all suffering for the consequences of his actions now.

     Everything, all of it, was his fault. If he wasn’t so trusting, if he just asked the right questions, if he wasn’t so weak, none of this would’ve happened. Xehanort preyed on his insecurities, attempted to turn him against his friends, and used him to kill the man he considered his father. Now he was going to destroy what was left of his family, along with Vanitas, and he didn’t know what to do. He only knew how to fight but would it be enough to save them? Or would it lead them all to their deaths? All he wanted was to go back to the night he, Aqua, and Ven shared under the starry sky back home, blissfully unaware of the tragedy that would befall them. Was that too much to ask?

     Tears slid down his cheeks as he teetered on the edge of despair. Everything was just so twisted, so hopeless. What chance did the three of them have against a seasoned Keyblade Master and his loyal guard dogs? They might as well have been heading straight to their deaths with all the worlds falling into darkness as their consolation prize in this battle disguised as a cruel game. He was scared to die, scared of death and whether an afterlife really existed after passing on from one plane to the next. He didn’t want to die but it came for everyone at the end, regardless of their desires.

     Well, if he was going to die anyway, he’ll go out protecting his friends. This was his mess to clean up so he should be the one to fix it. Besides, this might be the only way for him to atone for his sins, right the wrongs he made. If Aqua and Ven could live out the rest of their days free from any danger that would harm them, then he’d face his death with dignity.

     With his energy replenished, he stood up and looked towards the exit. He hadn’t been this far into the Badlands so he had no idea of what awaited him at the other end of the ravine. He walked on and on till he came out and stopped. The sight that laid before him rendered him speechless.

     Hundreds upon hundreds of Keyblades stuck up out of the ground like markers and something resembling a crossroads cut through all of them. It was then he realized what this place truly was. This was where thousands of Keyblade wielders fought against each other in order to summon Kingdom Hearts, the conflict better known as the Great Keyblade War. These Keyblades represented, or what was left of, the people that fell in the battle, where they would rest for all eternity. How fitting then it was to die here at this scarred wasteland of a graveyard among the warriors of old. Would he meet the same fate as his predecessors did all those years ago?

     At the eastern end of the crossroads was Aqua. Their eyes met and hers held a quiet fury in them he had never seen before. They both walked down the paths ahead of them till they reached the intersection, where he could see her clearly now. There were healing cuts and bruises all across her body, no doubt from the countless battles she faced while on her journey, and there was a hidden sadness behind the anger. She knew and nothing he could say or do would make it all right. He was fully prepared for the emotional lashing her words would deliver unto him.

     She didn’t disappoint, laying into him all the pain and misery he brought to her, culminating in her placing blame of their master’s death onto his shoulders. She was particularly close to him so the news had to have hit her hard. Her eyes glistened with tears as he stayed silent and she demanded answers from him, almost begging him to say anything to defend himself. It hurt to hear her voice waver, knowing she was trying and failing to hold back the emotion. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved so much better than this. What kind of man was he, to cause the woman he loved so much pain and not be able to fix it?

     Ven appeared at the southern end of the crossroads. Soon as they both saw him, they exchanged a look and approached him. It was like an unspoken rule that, whatever was happening between them, it came second to Ven. He was their top priority and nothing could be any more important than him. That was the one thing they could agree on unanimously. He seemed just as tired as they were, though it was clear something was weighing heavily on him, evident by how he couldn’t look at them at all. Concern gave way to dread when he told them the reason behind his woe.

     He and Vanitas were to fuse together and create the X-blade so that Xehanort could use it to summon Kingdom Hearts and reset the universe. He wanted there to be a balance between Light and Dark, which this supposed reset would bring. That’s why Ven was willing to die by Eraqus’ hand. His death would foil Xehanort’s plan and potentially take out Vanitas along with him. Terra felt time stop when Ven asked him and Aqua to end him. How could he ask such a thing from him? He already lost their master, he couldn’t bear to lose what was left of his family.

     Before any more could be said, they were at the northern end. Xehanort, Vanitas, and that man he fought back in Radiant Garden. It seemed like an evenly numbered match but power had to be wildly scaled between the six of them. The final battle was here, Light vs Dark, the victor left up to chance. He, Aqua, and Ven all summoned their Keyblades and rushed in.

     His target was Xehanort, the mastermind behind everything. There was no way in hell he was going to let him get away with his crimes. He manipulated him to do his bidding, killed the man that was once a former friend to him, and would kill his loved ones if he didn’t stop him here. He swore he’d protect them till the very end, to his last breath, and he planned on upholding that vow.

     He would set things right.

     Terra’s eyes fluttered open to rays of light filtering through the curtains of the window, telling him it was early morning. He was on a bed, soft one at that, in a room he didn’t recognize slowly becoming bathed in sunlight. The room was like any others he’d been in before. Where was he?

     Only once it sank in did he begin to panic. He was in an unfamiliar room and he was out for what felt like an eternity. He couldn’t let this rare opportunity go to waste, he needed to reach out to someone for help before Xehanort attempted to shut him inside that place again. It didn’t matter who, it just had to be someone who’d listen to him and not think he was crazy. He tried to sit up but found he couldn’t. There were two weights on either side of him keeping him trapped there on the bed. Did Xehanort count for something like this happening and put measures in place so he couldn’t wander around freely? Whatever the case may be, he had to break out while he still had the chance and find help.

     It was then the memories of yesterday started to come to him. There was a big battle between Darkness and Light and those on the side of Light won. His heart was freed, the man possessing his body had been driven out, and he was reunited with his two dear friends. He looked down, as if to confirm that what happened did happen, and saw Aqua and Ven soundly asleep beside him. The anxiety that had seized him vanished, becoming replaced with relief and an exhausted sort of happiness he hadn’t felt in such a long time.

     It was liberating to be back in control of his body and his life. No voice in his head, no feeling like a passenger as someone else piloted him, he was himself again for the first time in forever. No longer would he worry if he was allowed to be out or if it was another one of Xehanort’s psychological games of war. No more losing fights for control as more and more of his identity was stripped away. He was Terra, he reclaimed himself, and he wouldn’t let anyone take that away from him again.

     A soft smile spread across his face as he watched them sleep. His grip on them tightened ever so slightly, thankful to be able to bask in this moment. They saved him, even when they were knocked down over and over, almost dying in the process. They all fought so hard to reach each other and their efforts were rewarded with a tearful yet happy reunion. He’d cherish that memory till the end of time. He almost lost them once and he’ll be damned if anything ever came between them again.

     They had lots of work ahead of them. An entire decade passed them by in ways no one should ever have to experience. While he was vaguely aware of the passage of time during his drifts in and out of consciousness, it still felt like only days since everything in their journeys happened. All they had were fragments of the lives they led, of worlds left forgotten, to help them start anew.

     Ven might have the easiest time adjusting to the changes. He spent those eleven years sleeping in the Land of Departure, though that wasn’t quite right. His body stayed safe at home while his heart slumbered within another. He was never in the line of danger, Aqua made sure of that. He befriended lots of people during his trip around the worlds so they were certain to be of big help to him. It’d be hard but he’d adapt quickly, Terra just knew it.

     Speaking of which, he might have a more difficult time. Pieces of him were scattered across different forms throughout the years so he needed to relearn what being himself was like again. Parts of what made him Terra had changed so much from how they were before, they could no longer apply to him now. He was, in some ways, a new person and he would never be the same man he was. He was going to be doing lots of soul-searching in the foreseeable future. His only hope was that he would like the person at the end of the tunnel.

     Then there was Aqua. She definitely had it the roughest out of them all and for very good reason. She traversed through the Realm of Darkness, fighting for her life while struggling to keep her inner demons at bay. She was only there in the first place because she sacrificed herself for him, which he planned on speaking to her about at some point in the near future. They met only the one time last year and their reunion was cut short by Xehanort seizing his chance to continue on with the creation of the X-blade. She needed to learn she’d be safe, that nothing would come and kill her if she wasn’t vigilant enough and whatnot. Her time in that hellish wasteland left her with deep-seated scars she may never fully heal from. He and Ven would help her with whatever she needed, whether it be supporting her at every step of the way or by simply listening to her. She wouldn’t go through this alone.

     None of them came out unscathed by their ordeals. Although it would take them some time to truly recover, both physically and mentally, it really helped to know they weren’t alone in this. They still did and always would have each other but they now had their newly-found friends to lean on for support whenever they needed it. It was kinda hard for him to wrap his head around just how many people would be there for them, especially him. Their master was gone now but there was no doubt in his mind he’d still watch over his apprentices from wherever he went. Their new life might be scary yet it already looked so bright.

     His eyes wandered over to Aqua again. He wanted to set things right with her, especially after all the pain he caused her. An apology for breaking his promise was the first step in the right direction. Then he was going to become someone she wouldn’t feel the need to look after anymore. It was because of him she ended up in the Realm of Darkness so he thought it’d be only fair to help her focus on herself for a change. She was a Master now and he was planning on catching up to her as soon as he could. That was a promise he intended to keep.

     When was he going to tell her? He originally wanted to do it when he became independent from her but his time away from people had taught him some important life lessons to remember. Loved ones were here only as long as they needed to be and time spent with them should never be taken for granted, like he had with Eraqus. He didn’t want to leave things unsaid between them, in the event that something happened and he was left unable to say what he wanted. They weren’t ready for that sort of relationship yet so he’d keep his cards close to his chest for just a little longer. Once they were in a better place and had worked through some of their issues, then he’d confess. Who knows if she’d return them?

     He couldn’t quite pin down when his feelings for her deepened into what they were now. He only really realized it when they were in the Keyblade Graveyard before their paths split apart so it was hard to say. What he did know, however, was that she became such an irreplaceable constant in his life. She was someone he confided in, someone who always thought the better of him, a light in the darkness that plagued him. She was his anchor, his dearly beloved. She became his Wayfinder, guiding him until he was back home to her and Ven.

     The whisper of three little words broke through the silence. He wasn’t able to admit it to himself back then but he now had a voice to vocalize them with. He hoped his feelings would reach her heart.

     “I love you.”

[koalitypop]

inevitable

summary: no matter how much pain your relationship with jimin can bring to you, you can’t stand the loneliness anymore.

pairing: jimin x reader

tags: loneliness, crying, mentioned sexual activities

word count: 2.9k

a/n: guys, i've been working on this one shot for such a long time, i’m so happy to finally post it. it has been inspired by a few songs and i’m thinking about making a themed playlist. i hope you like it! please share your thoughts about it with me, i am always grateful to see what you like and what you don't. thank you for the time spent! 

The morning when you woke up in the hands of your lover for the first time and the memories of the night before tore your mind apart, you felt like you were betraying everyone in your life. It was supposed to be simple and only for once – you needed to receive and give some love for the night and he felt the same way too. But then, you saw that fallen angel with his hands hugging you tightly as if he never wanted to let you go, as he needed you, and all the gods above knew it – you felt at peace for the first time in an eternity.  

You had to leave immediately. You took off his shirt, which you wore to sleep, and got dressed up in the clothes you had worn last night when you came to his place. You wrote him a quick note, kissed his sweaty forehead and left.  

“This is the last time that something like this happens,” you promised yourself.  

Lie.

That morning, after leaving that fallen angel of yours, you tried your best to continue with your life – working on your upcoming album, learning choreography and having meetings with your managers, pretty much everything an idol life could offer. Despite your efforts, while you were in the studio, at the agency or in the practice room, your soul remained in his bed, his hands were exploring your body, your whole being soaked in his gorgeous scent.  

After meeting Jimin, all your nights were spent dreaming of him. Sometimes loving you, sometimes making out with you, sometimes just standing close to you. You were waking up feeling exhausted, weakened by the absence of his tender touch. Your days weren’t any easier either – your thoughts were occupied by him, making you yearn for his touch.  

A month after that ardent night, you finally met your lover again. His face even more divine, walking around confidently, making your knees feel weak. Making you lose your breath, he just once glanced at you, smirking. You smiled slyly and only when you made sure that he wasn’t looking at your direction you let a huge grin to take over your face.  

During the ceremony, you were constantly looking at him. The way he cheered on his friends while they were performing, his sweet smile that made you melt. The way he sang and danced, the control he had over his body, every move he made – so magnificent and precise. Your eyes were undressing him, saving every moment, every breath he took, hoping and praying that he would call you later.  

Not long after the ceremony was over, you got a call from him, and this night he was in your bed. Kisses down your spine, heated skin brushing yours. That's how your maddening relationship began.  

Well, the thing you had with Jimin wasn't an actual relationship. Nobody knew about the time you spent together, not even his members.  It was all based on the need of your bodies – needs of physical love, care, affection. No feelings. No attachments. Just some make-out sessions, sex and maybe some cuddling.  

There wasn’t any promise about not falling in love with each other or of any feelings at all. You both just knew it. Jimin was a member of the biggest group in the world, you were also a solo singer with a big fanbase. There wasn’t any place for dating and actual love in your lives. So, having a sex-buddy was your best option.  

As time went by, you began to get to know each other more and more. Of course, you knew basic things about him and he also had heard of you and your career, but every time you met each other, you got closer and not only in a physical way. You see, he saw how fearful of spiders you were and you helped him out during an allergic reaction. You both loved mint-scented perfume. You shared the same unconditional love for Harry Potter and were both in Slytherin, despite having some Ravenclaw tendencies. You had many things in common and in general you kept each other good company. When you weren’t keeping each other busy with other things, of course.

You never shared these thoughts with Jimin, but you knew from the very beginning that you will end up in pain. You didn’t mind. Not anymore. Pain was inevitable. You spent your entire adolescence keeping in mind that you are training to become an idol and you don’t want to involve anybody else into this hectic life. You were ready to keep on meeting him, even if you start to grow feelings for him. Even if rumours start spreading around. Even if he turns out to not be the kind and warm-hearted guy you think he is. At this point, you didn’t want to feel sad because you’re alone. You preferred to cry because of a broken heart, because you couldn’t confess, anything else but not because of loneliness. You had spent too much time feeling all alone. You wanted to continue having such comfort sessions, you didn’t want more.

As pain, falling in love was also inevitable. The first few times your thoughts were occupied by the pleasure Jimin gave you. He was caring, passionate. He took care of you, made sure that both of you were satisfied. And as the time went by, you knew every inch of his body, but his mind, his soul and his heart – that’s what you weren’t familiar with. And you just wished to know these parts of him, the true him.  

At first, you didn’t want to believe that you were falling in love. And how could you, you had never fallen for anybody before. Friends knew each other. Friends shared what they worry about. And numerous friends had sex with each other. People had bestie crushes. That’s what it must be. That was the best explanation. Even though you had made a deal with yourself that you can continue doing this with him, you didn’t believe that you will actually happen to fall in love with him. You thought you’re in control of your emotions, after all.  

It was after the second concert of the Love Yourself Tour in Seoul when it finally happened. He made a small mistake while performing Fake Love, something so tiny you as a professional couldn’t even notice, what about the fans. But as always, he beat himself about this. And you knew that you have to make sure he doesn’t spend the night alone. After an hour of passionate loving, Jimin lay down, his hair in a beautiful mess. He turned around to face you and caressed your cheek.  

“Oh, how you deserve to be worshipped,” he murmured and fell asleep right after.  

“It is you who deserves to be worshipped”, you thought.

And then you knew, you’ve fallen, you’ve fallen hard.  

You never told anybody about the way you felt towards him. There wasn’t anybody to talk to about this and even if there was, you didn’t want to say it out loud, because it would have made it fully real. Nobody had to know about the sweet pain that shattered your soul every time he kissed you goodbye. It should stay a secret, you thought, because, in the world of idols, not only pain and falling in love were inevitable. Taking responsibility was also inescapable.

Somewhere in between the harsh thrusts and the sweet praises sometimes you imagined what a relationship with him would be like. How free you will feel if you were able to confess your love for him. Thank goodness, somewhere in between the goodbyes and the calls for arrangements of meetings you came back to your senses. You had promised yourself sex, cuddles, kisses. Physical affection, not love, not support, not friendship. You had to keep this promise.  

There were times when you thought that Jimin has found out your secret. However, you reminded yourself that he would have done or said something, he wouldn’t have continued to meet and have sex with you. You waited for his call and tried to ignore the thought of Jimin ever finding out about your little secret, despite it coming a thousand times a day.  

Jimin and you had spent a little less than a year as fuck-buddies when the rumours started spreading. Are BTS Jimin and Red Velvet Seulgi dating? It was all over the media - hashtags were trending on Twitter, videos on YouTube, which somehow were meant to prove that Jimin and Seulgi were dating, were constantly recommended to you.  

It wasn’t the possibility that this was true which broke your heart. You knew that there was nothing between Jimin and Seulgi. It was the fact that one day this rumour will be true and this girl wouldn’t be you. Those amorous moments would no longer be a reality. You’d no longer be able to moan his name, telling him how good he is to you. You would never again feel his lips all over your body and the worst – you would never fall asleep cuddled to Jimin ever again.  

Three days after rumours started spreading around Jimin called you.  

“Do you want to come?” He asked, his voice giving away how exhausted he is.  

“Yes, I want to.” you smiled, somehow relieved.

Some hours after his call, you found yourself in front of the door of Jimin’s apartment. You checked your make up and made sure your hair looks fine, as, who knows, maybe this was going to be the last time you have sex with him. Taking a deep breath, you were about to knock on the door, when suddenly Jimin opened it.  

“Felt your presence,” Jimin smirked, gesturing you to get in.  

Typical Jimin. He probably was watching you since you came to his door and tried not to laugh while you put another layer of lipstick on. Did he like what he saw? Was he thinking about what he was going to do to you, how he is going to erase that lipstick from your lips? Did he open the door because he was too impatient to wait for you to knock? Was he waiting at the door even before you came, hoping you will come sooner?  

“Wine?” he whispered in your ear as he helped you undress your raincoat.  

You turned around to look at him and nodded, completely speechless as you watched him disappear into the kitchen, quickly moving to the sofa as your knees grew weaker.  

Jimin looked so celestial. Those majestic eyes focused solely on you, lips so gorgeously plump and yours for the night, the way he walked and moved so gracefully and his voice, oh, his voice only could make your body shake with pleasure. There wasn’t a single part of him, you didn’t crave for.  

Carrying two glasses of red wine in his hands, Jimin came back to the living room. Slowly he reached you with a concerned expression taking over his face and sat on the sofa, making sure there was a significant distance between both of you.  

“I know what you may be thinking.” Jimin sighed, giving you one of the glasses.  

“Enlighten me.” you tried to hide your bitter smile behind the glass.

Jimin’s eyes started wandering around the room. The troubled expression on his face began to seem more sad than worried.  

“Y/n, I have nothing to do with Seulgi,” Jimin said and drank a huge sip.

Surprisingly, you felt at ease. Why though? You knew that there was nothing between them. You felt at peace and couldn’t even try to hide your smile from Jimin.  

“I am well aware of that,” you replied, getting closer to him.  

Suddenly, Jimin turned around, so quickly he nearly made you drop your glass. His eyes were fixated on your face and made it obvious to you that he was hesitating to say something. He licked his lips, closed his eyes, his hand went through his brown hair – right there and then you were ready to embrace him and never let go.  

“I’ve been thinking about the night we first met each other,” Jimin said, his eyes still shut tightly. He gulped loudly and continued, “I’ve been thinking about how good you are to me. About how half of the times we can barely reach the bedroom. About the way, you say my name. The way you moan it. The way you saved me from me.”  

Your lover was the gentlest and the most thoughtful human being you had ever met, but this was the first time he was so generous with his praises without having even kissed you. He hadn’t even touched you, but, oh, you were already giving in. And the fact that he was getting closer and closer to you with every word he said.

“And about making love to you. And about all of this stuff that happened this week. I’ve been thinking about how it affected you. About what you’ve been thinking, how you’ve felt” and then he kissed you.

Despite having kissed just three boys in your entire life, you simply knew that Jimin’s kisses were one of a kind. Always beginning softly and with each second getting more and more eager. The way his fleshy lips engulfed yours made the butterflies in your stomach go wild, as he was trying and honestly succeeding to breathe your entire consciousness in.  

“Tell me what’s on your mind. Tell me how you feel about everything,” he whispered before licking his lips and attacking yours once again.  

It took you all of your mental strength to break the kiss and lie to him, “I was fine. I knew the truth.” you gasped into Jimin’s lips so that you can get straight to the sex instead of talking about this mess. You couldn’t bear to think about another girl kissing him, another girl being in his arms, replacing you.  

Jimin, on the other hand, didn’t think so.  

“I wasn’t fine. I felt horrible.” Jimin replied, leaning his forehead on yours.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” you gulped, worry instantly being poured all over your body.  

“It’s not about the agency. Everyone at the agency handled this rumour so well,” he claimed.  

You both kept your eyes closed, but deep in your heart of hearts, you felt that he was about to start crying. As you were about to caress his cheek, he held your hand tightly.  

“It’s that... All I could think about w-was you.” he sobbed, “I felt ter-terrible... and a-abominable, because I-I wanted you to feel terrible too.”  

You couldn’t feel anything. You could barely process what he had just said. You couldn’t even start to overthink, you didn’t even have the time to pull away when he continued.   “I wanted you to call me and a-ask if it was true. To be mad, jealous even. Because I figured out that if this happened with you, I’d be mad. I’d be so mad, Y/n, you-you don’t even know,” and with those words, he completely broke down.

As Jimin nuzzled his head on your neck and cried, you embraced him gently. A part of you, rooted deep into your very core, understood what he meant and celebrated. However, you still couldn’t understand. Your mind forbade you to believe that this was real, that what had just happened wasn’t a dream. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t stop yourself from subconsciously saying, “I know, Jimin, I know.”

Right away your lover pulled away and asked you through his sobs, “You know?”  

You had barely nodded when he started kissing you. And right there and then it hit you. Hit you so hard you started crying happy tears of relief. It was real.  

Jimin pulled you into his lap, in desperate need to feel you as close as possible. He kissed you as if only your lips keep him alive, his arms grasping your shaking frame. Sweet tears fell freely on your face and your lover drank them as if they were some kind of an elixir. It wasn’t a sexual desire, it was the bond between you both speaking. The bond you both had tried so hard to hide behind quickies and make-out sessions.

You sucked his trembling lower lips as he sobbed into your mouth, his torso pressing forward, making you feel his need for you not with your body, not with your brain, but with your soul. He licked his lips and eagerly kissed you once again. Somewhere in between those kisses you felt your consciousness slip through your fingers and quietly fell asleep in the arms of your lover.  

In the morning you were woken up by the feeling of being watched. Struggling to open your eyes, your hands started to roam around, only to be stopped by the masculine body of your lover. He giggled and moved you closer to him. You couldn’t even think about getting up and leaving him.  

“I am sorry, Y/n,” Jimin said, kissing your temple.  

This moment made all the suffering from the past and of the future worth it, you thought. You snuggled yourself closer to him and breathed in his alluring scent.  

“I am sorry, too.” you exhaled loudly, making small circles on his chest.  

“I was afraid you didn’t share my feelings,” Jimin caressed your cheek.

Fear. Of being alone? You knew that feeling too well.

“I thought pain is inevitable.” you murmured.

Your lover kissed you softly and whispered, “It is. But so is loving you.”

* * *

taglist:  @omg-sol-s-dreamland​ @latina-nerd​ @forff101 @hodginss @purpleheartsfortae​ @salomea27​ @ireallylikefoodandyoutube​

[thankyougotham]

Here’s an article that Film Daily wrote about Nygmobblepot. If you’d like to see them write articles about other relationships, you can contact them on Twitter and make a request. They’ve been very supportive of Gotham in general, so follow them if you’re on Twitter.

“Gotham is an innovative show based on DC Comics characters and produced by Warner Bros.  The Batman origin narrative helped us rapt viewers understand how our favorite heroes (Batman) and villains (The Joker, Penguin) came to be. It also cast a light on just how Gotham City became the wretched crime-filled cesspool we all know & love.

As the fandom knows, we’re so behind the mission to Save Gothamthat it hurts, but today we’ve decided to take a break from all the activism and talk about love. Here’s why we and the Gotham fandom ship hard for Nygmobblepot, and why these fantastic felons are anyone’s perfect gateway into Gotham for people on the fence about the show.”

Sample Quotes from fans: 

Mr. Millicent Cordelia

Both Ed & Oswald were transformed by love. They made sacrifices for each other & always ended up back together. They deserve, and the fans deserve to see this relationship respected as a romance on a server that understands it’s the 21st century.

Merc

Honestly because they’re both idiots and they really deserve each other.

Zoe Tomorrow

They’re two individuals who’ve spent their lives mistreated and misunderstood. They are the only ones who accept one another wholeheartedly. Together they’ve learned about trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, and love. And no matter what they always find a way back to each other.

#PenguinSpinOff

Excellent chemistry between them, and a fun, fresh take on these old, iconic characters. They’re like peanut butter and jelly: fine on their own, but especially delightful together.

Rachel

For one, they “really are meant for each other”! They’ve been through so much and have hurt each other so many times but they’ve managed to overcome it. They have a strong bond, would do anything for each other, and somehow they always come back together!

𝕫𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒

These two men grew up misunderstood and overlooked, and learned to use that to grow. they have risen together, and make an excellent team. they have both admitted to being stronger together, and their fates always become intertwined. they’re destined to be together.

Angela

While I’m not the biggest shipper of Nygmobblepot, I do care for their happiness and for the fans who do ship them. My ship is Batcat. They are best friends as kids & love each other deeply. They always want to protect each other. They are family.

LongLiveGotham #Gotham | #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot has a long, complex history that reveals both the best and worst of these 2 characters. They have grown and learned much from the relationship. They deserve to be on a server that allows them the freedom to be a romantic couple.

Jenny i love my girlfriend

they are two men who have been abused and undermined their entire lives, but see each other as equals. they have certainly had their ups and down, but they always come back, better and stronger than ever. they understand each other more than anyone else ever has.

(not to mention how groundbreaking it would be to have two characters who have been historically heterosexual be in a romantic relationship)

Hale | 45 Days Till Neo

I’m down for anything with dear Oswald- his chaotic energy is a joy to watch, especially when it’s messing with other character such as Edward and Jim.

Scheming Minor

I am going to say something different in lieu of semantics. Technically in a sense when you get to the details they really are one of the few villain pairings portrayed in a “healthy” relationship in the Batman fandom. They progress, accept and move on; never stagnating. I included the healthy relationship chart to prove a point. Each one of those slices can be seen over the course of Riddler and Penguin’s relationship in Gotham– more so when we reach season 5. Their entire journey is about respect. Adding one more thing – Riddler has traditionally been coded as queer and flits with tentative bisexuality, meanwhile Penguin is known as a womanizer but has rare moments of ’what if’ regarding men. Gothamis one of the few Batman shows that follows through with M/M content.

kebu loves Oswald

They are both extreme individuals, but they fit together perfectly. Both are complex characters that went through life unaccepted by everyone which shaped their desire for more and their paths to becoming supervillains, so when they met it was the first time they found their equal and were accepted by someone. Their paths have been intertwined ever since, and whether they’re together or at odds, they’re always the most significant person in each other’s lives. But even though they ended up appearing together, we didn’t actually see them get “officially” together. Their story has yet to come to a close.

Riz || Professional Mr.Penn promoter

A very complex relationship that cannot be concluded in a spawn of a cut off season like it was. They have had a long journey and a perhaps even longer one before them. Their lowest and best have been shared together and they’re the one person who understand the other fully.

M/M relationships in media and tvshows especially is a rare breed. Even more is the concept of the big chance to make two comic characters and made an entirely new spin on them by being brave enough to make them queer, Oswald perhaps within the asexual spectrum at that. Ed as a tormented, abused soul who struggles with his own identiy and perhaps sexuality.

There is really so much to say, which is exactly why there need to be more to tell the rest of the story.

Vero

While Ed fights with the dichotomy within himself, he’s always felt the most whole when he’s been all-encompassed by Oswald’s world and care. Oswald found compassion and acceptance for all the parts that Ed thought were not loved. They are twin souls that deserve a longer story.There’s always been a complexity to both of them, and they understand the extremes that have made them into the people they are. There is no desire to change the other, only bring out the best in one another and a comfort shared that’s so important.

madi

I feel as though they have stories that extend beyond what Gothamwas able to show through their 5 seasons. Especially with the 5th season being half of its normal length. They mean so much to me, and so many others, and I would love to see even more of them (1/2)

(2/2) and to be able to see Gotham’s depiction of Ed’s backstory, an explanation for the whole Isabella fiasco (like how is she even possible) and a plot line where Ed saves Oswald. We haven’t had any of those since s2/early s3 and I need that in my life. I miss them so much.

Evan

Not only off the charts chemistry, but near similar backgrounds also. Both Ed & Oswald were abandoned by their parents, and had to fight the world their whole lives. Then brought them together and they’ve been unstoppable ever since.

Suzy Dakroub

Because they have the best character development and bond I’ve ever seen on a show! They both truly have no one but eachother. For villains where it’s rare to see compassion and love, these two have it for each other and it’s so wholesome and sweet.

Frothy

it’s the first LGBT representation in such a major franchise on TV! it was taken from us once, twice, but there won’t be a third. i will produce season 6 in my basement with tze and my best friend if i must

Warrior_Of_Loyalty

REPRESENTATION!!! Seriously, there’s nothing quite like it. Oswald and Edward deserve a wedding and a musical episode to go with it. Because, if Arthur’s teacher can get married on TV why not The Penguin and The Riddler!? Please!! Make it happen!

𝕻𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖎𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 ||

Because they are two characters who have been physically and emotionally abused most of their lives, and even after all of their hardships and turmoil, found love and trust and safety in one another

Azura Lynn Paulin

Because they never got to become a real couple on screen and they deserve to have that chance at happiness

MamaDev

Their chemistry, specifically between Robin Lord Taylor & Cory Michael Smith, is incredibly entertaining and heart warming to watch. It makes my whole day, of not, week better when I see them interacting on screen. FOX did not do them justice by keeping them in the closet.

Queen C

Because their story is FAR from over. Cory and Robin’s skills and chemistry shouldn’t be squandered. We had 5 years of their story buildup and got crapped on in the final episode, and I deserve my #BisexualRiddler!!!

Bandi [Gotham/Good Omens Spoilers] #SaveGotham

Nygmobblepot truly is such an interesting ship. As singular characters they are great, but together, they shine. They’re complex, damaged characters and take comfort in each other. Their journey is a long, painful one, but they deserve and compliment each other. It makes sense.

Anders

They are truly self confident with each other, anything becomes possible. They don’t need any cane.

They have each other.

Mae

they just have such strong chemistry and are so much better together than apart. their relationship constantly evolved throughout Gotham, becoming the main driving force for their individual developments too and… they were just made for each other okay

Tam Loves Kris @ Resting in Home

I see a lot of myself and my partner@MisterPenguinin the#Nygmobblepotship and I feel that their relationship is very well developed with lots of ups and downs and it’s fate that they are both meant for each other.

Kat Shade

With all of the characters that had amazing chemistry on Gotham, the main three had to be nygmobblepot, wayleska, and babitha. Nygmobblepot have been through so much together, and besides how revolutionary and amazing it would be for a show based on two previously heterosexual characters in a homosexual relationship, they simply work amazingly together.

[thebachelordiaries]

My Late ASF Recap of Some Early Episodes of ‘The Bachelorette’

What’s up, everyone? I’m at jury duty with some time to kill, so I thought this would be the best time to catch up on my Bachelorette recaps. Don’t feel sorry for me. If I had it my way, Casey Anthony would’ve been found guilty, Luke P. would need to go on trial for gaslighting women, and Ashley I. and Jared would be indefinitely banned from appearing on any Bachelor franchise show. Don’t thank me; I’m just a normal person who wants to make the world a fair and better place.

Ashley I. and Jared are the people five years removed from high school who still show up to the parties. Go home.

What even happened on Episodes 2, 3 and 4? 

I just had to check and make sure there’s been four episodes already. I swear the premiere happened last week. It’s a similar feeling to being 23 and then waking up one day and realizing you’re 28. Time flies when you’re not doing anything with your life. 

I don’t know a lot of things, but...

...Here’s What I Do Know About This Season

I have no idea why Tyler G left. This normal-ass dude with the jawline of a demigod and the personality of a barren midwest field got the first 1-on-1 date with Hannah. The only remarkable thing about it was we realized just how dirty the cast photo photographer did him.

This striking individual is allegedly the same person as this thumb-of-a-man below:

I don’t wish unemployment on anyone, but I hope the photographer who took this picture received a very fair severance package.

By episode four, Tyler G. was quietly sent home with no explanation. Obviously he was accused of something and ABC didn’t want that burden on their back, especially after they casted a SEX OFFENDER on Becca’s season, so he, and his Ian Somerhalder-esque jawline were sent back to wherever they came from.

Goodbye, Tyler G. We hardly knew ye. In the future don’t (allegedly) spit in any girl’s face. You might get kicked off a reality TV show one day.

Luke P. (the “P” stands for PLEASE LET’S STOP GIVING HIM ATTENTION)

I get that he’s the “villain” of this season, but hear me out.

Luke P. isn’t that bad. (Narrator: He really is that bad. Just wait)

Sure, he exudes so much confidence that it makes me roll my eyes into the back of my head, but I kind of respect it. (Narrator: She doesn’t respect it anymore)

I know people are saying he was “love bombing” Hannah on night 1 in order to get the first impression rose, but I just want to make it clear that it doesn’t make him an abusive person just because he flooded her with affection, and people shouldn’t label him a possible abuser because of that single instance. It’s not like he (allegedly) spat in his girlfriend’s face. (Narrator: Gaslighting is abusive behavior)

(Narrator: This paragraph somewhat defending Luke P. has beed removed due to bad judgement. Luke P. actually does suck. A lot.)

Every season there’s a little punk who has no chance at staying on the show with their connection with The Bachelorette alone, so they decide to spark a feud with the guy getting the most camera time. First there was Chad and Evan. Then there was Jordan and David. Now There’s Luke P. and Luke S.

Luke P. and I make the same face whenever Luke S. opens his mouth.

And I get it. I, too, have a secret hatred for every person with the same name as me, but Luke S. annoys me so much that I’m starting to feel bad for Luke P. (Narrator: She doesn’t feel bad anymore)

Maybe I’m wrong and Luke P. really is the worst. (Narrator: He is) 

Maybe he really is being a douche canoe off camera and deserves to be ganged up on by the other guys. (Narrator: He is)

I don’t have the answers. (Narrator: You soon will)

I’m just saying I hate Luke S. more. (Narrator: This is no longer true. Luke S. is still annoying though)

MIKE FOR BACHELOR

I honestly don’t care if you don’t like Mike. Nobody asked you. 

I see so much Bachelor potential in him, and I really think (with the right edit, COUGH, COUGH, ABC) he could become our first black Bachelor.

That smile. That damn smile.

I don’t care if you love Pilot Pete, Tyler C., Jedd, or whoever else the frontrunners are right now. If any of them get the gig over Mike, I’m strongly considering protesting in the streets. I’m fairly confident, with the power of Bachelor Twitter fandom, that we can make the #MikeForBachelor movement happen.

My only concern is that Mike seems like he is getting mixed up in the drama, which I hope doesn’t paint him in a negative light. And I’m scared he’s going to get eliminated before the top 6, which could hurt his chances. I’m at the edge of my seat at every rose ceremony.

Nevertheless, I do think that we can will this to come true. Mike :clap: for :clap: Bachelor :clap:.

FRONTRUNNERS

To put it bluntly, these are the only guys who have a chance with Hannah:

Jedd— He pulled an “8-Mile” and dissed himself before anyone else could by admitting to Hannah that he came on the show for the “wrong reasons.” The thing about “red flags” are that you ignore then when you’re into someone. Despite Jedd waving his “wrong reasons” flag (he wants to promote his country music career) in front of her face, Hannah could care less. She’s smitten.

Tyler C.— Look, if Hannah isn’t into Tyler C., she should just let Twitter fight over who gets what body part. I would like to call dibs on his torso. On a more serious note, Tyler C. is insanely hot, shockingly deep and actually seems like a genuine person. Everyone thought Blake was going to be to hottest ticket in Paradise, but now he’s not even on the starting roster. Meanwhile. Tyler C. is first up at bat. With that said, I don’t think Hannah is going to pick him, but he’s top four for sure.

A short list of people Tyler C. looks like: Patrick Swayze, Miles Teller, Ryan Lochte, Connor, my future husband.

Connor— Poor Connor may have had the worst 1-on-1 date of all time. Hannah was sick, so instead of doing whatever they had planned, they laid in bed for about 15 minutes. He was a good sport about it and still got the rose. My mom said he was the perfect gentleman. There’s something kind of pure about him, and he has big “best to take home to mom and dad” energy.

Pilot Pete— I admittedly didn’t “get” they hype surrounding this guy. He looks like a pudgy man baby from certain angles. But from other angles, he can get it. I officially became part of the Pilot Pete fan club when he PICKED UP HANNAH AND MADE OUT WITH HER AGAINST THE WALL.

Yeah, we stan. (Also follow me on Twitter, @thebachdiaries)

Garrett— He’s my dark horse. I feel like we haven’t seen enough of him, but I think he should get a 1-on-1 date soon. I mean, he literally looks like Jordan Rodger’s long lost brother. He’s rich (you can’t be a pro golfer and poor at the same time. I think you have to pay hefty annual fees), is from Alabama, has an adorable southern accent, and was the first person to come out of the limo (which always means something.) The thing is, I don’t really like him. He reminds me of a frat bro who giggles at immature poop jokes.

HONORABLE MENTION: 

Luke P.— Even though Hannah is fed up with Luke P’s sh*t, she admitted she still has strong feelings for him. Plus, he received the first impression rose, and the recipient of that rose has gone on to get the final rose for FOUR SEASONS IN A ROW. I’m just saying. Luke P. may win this thing. 

Stay tuned for more recaps that will come out whenever I feel like posting them.

I wrote this recap weeks ago, but never posted it. I need to get back on the ball with this blog. I promise I will be back on (or off...depends how you look at it) my bullsh*t soon.

[bellarkefanfiction]

We Play Our Parts So Well

written by: Josefine / @selflessbellamy

prompt: bellamy and clarke are actors on a tv show. theyre love interests but are also dating irl and they have to shoot their first sex scene together. they get it on either during (unknowingly to others) or after the shoot for anonymous

word count: 2847

There are countless things wrong with having your co-stars head between your thighs. Especially if it’s done off-camera, in the casual setting of his apartment, with the spicy taste of Italian red wine lingering like a promise at the tip of her tongue. Bellamy, of course, ate her out vigorously until she grasped at the sheets like a lifeline, and now his character, Julian Amerada, has to do the same to hers. And Clarke has to pretend, for the sake of self-preservation, that she doesn’t know what it feels like.

In the hit NBC TV-series Embers, Clarke plays the role of Cassandra Tallion, a princess whose life is forever altered when she discovers what it’s like to be a warrior. And since the premiere of the show — the first scene she shared with Bellamy, more precisely — fans on Twitter (and virtually every other social media platform in existence) — have been screaming in all caps for them to just ‘SUCK FACES ALREADY ASDFGBSKCKXS’

Now, they’re finally going to get what they want. It’s been five seasons and the showrunner, Thelonius Jaha, has decided that it’s finally time to make Jassandra a thing — a canon thing.

Jasper Jordan, one of the special effect technicians, puts sugar in his coffee (enough to kill a small animal), quirks up an eyebrow and looks from Bellamy to Clarke before stating the obvious, “The internet is gonna fucking explode when you guys finally get it on.”

For a moment, Clarke’s eyes flicker nervously to Bellamy’s. Oh god, she’s supposed to be an actress, but she can’t even keep her cool in this situation. Meanwhile, her very handsome and very forbidden boyfriend takes a sip of his Earl Grey tea (Miller loves to call him a ‘sophisticated bastard’ for that preference), looking at Jasper nonchalantly.

“Did I hear someone say ‘getting it on’?” Raven chimes in, walking towards their table to throw her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. “That’s my domain.”

At that, Clarke only chuckles. So does Bellamy. “Raven, the last time I checked, you were happily married to an ex-pilot by the name of Shaw.”

Flippantly, Reyes takes her best friend’s coffee mug to steal a sip, then winces at the taste when she realizes that it isn’t black. “Yeah, and we get it on all the time. But of course, you wouldn’t know about that now, would you, Griffin?” It’s a fair burn, but little does Raven know that it no longer rings true. Since Clarke started seeing Bellamy off set four months ago, she’s had more orgasms than she had during all of last year.

“Have you read the script?” Harper McIntyre joins them. She plays Amelia, Cassandra’s stepsister, who is trying to overthrow her own father’s regime. “It’s cunnilingus, right?”

Jordan chuckles, “Oh please, Harper. You read all of it just like the rest of us,” and when Clarke looks at him, her brow furrowed in confusion, he continues, “Every single one of us is on team Jassandra. It’s no secret.”

As Clarke looks around the table, everyone — including Miller — nods, and Murphy even confesses to buying merch from Ebay, which leaves the rest of them shook. Still, his only explanation is, “What can I say? Some of this fanart is pretty fucking cool.”

Well, you can’t argue with that. Every time Clarke logs on to Twitter, her mentions are full of beautiful art pieces and gifs that people have made of the show (someone even wrote a song for Jassandra once). It warms her heart and makes her smile each day knowing that there are so many talented, passionate fans out there.

Episode 5x07 of Embers is called ‘The Land We March For’, and they’re shooting some of it tomorrow morning, including the already notorious love scene in Cassandra’s bedchamber in Marble Castle. Feeling a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, Clarke decides to abandon the table and take a look at the set, which has been prepared for the shoot tomorrow.

There are candles everywhere, ready to be lit and the bed has been covered in furs. It looks beautiful, but Clarke still has to swallow the lump in her throat.

“You alright?”

Smiling, Bellamy puts a hand to her shoulder. He must’ve followed her here, and she instantly appreciates it. For some reason, she always feels more at ease when she’s around him, and even though having to do her first love scene on screen is still incredibly daunting, she’s so glad that he will be there with her.

“Yeah… Just a bit nervous,” she confesses after a minute.

In comfort, he places his hand on her shoulder, caressing it with his thumb. “Trust me, I get that.”

Unlike her, Bellamy has done a love scene on Embers before, although it was a short flashback one between Julian and his deceased lover, Karolina. “Whatever,” she says, exhaling. “We’ll just have to kill this scene, you know? The viewers deserve something great. Our characters deserve it. We just need to do it justice.”

In fact, it was partly with the viewers and their characters in mind that Bellamy and Clarke asked for some of the script for the scene to be altered. Originally, Cassandra was supposed to beg Julian to ‘ravish her’, but that seemed non-consensual and out of character, so they made sure that the line was changed to ‘make love to me’.

“I can’t wait to see the fan reaction.”

“Jasper’s right. People are gonna lose their shit.”

(Certainly, they are not wrong…)

***

Just before they start filming the scene the next morning, Clarke tweets a row of cryptic emojis along with the hashtags #EmbersTV and #BigDay. Smirking, she joins Bellamy on the set of Cassandra’s bedchamber, and even though they both look very much in character, they have one last ritual as Bellamy and Clarke before they start shooting.

They hug. For a long time…

It’s nice, not only because of the obvious reasons, but it also seems to strengthen their connection, so that the chemistry continues to be — as according to @TheTheloniusJaha on Twitter — on fire. When this ritual started two years ago, the showrunner found it so special that he posted a picture of it to the Internet, and to say the fandom went nuts would be an understatement. Most notable retweets go to:

@Jassandraisrealbitches: NOW WE HAVE SOME CONTENT FOR MODERN AU’S FOLKS ASDFJGGJFSO

@JulianAmeradaah: Oh would you look at these cuties??!!!?? No wonder why their connection is da bomb.com

@QueenCassandra: This might not be the canon story, but my Jassandra heart has been fed a whole ass meal thank u @ jesus

“Are you okay?” Bellamy murmurs once they pull away from each other, his eyes as soft as the rain-soaked Earth, and she just barely resists the desire to kiss him. Instead, she nods, determined. Then they go to their assigned marks just before Thelonius Jaha roars, “ACTION!”

Cassandra’s hair is still wet from a bath, so she’s wringing it out when Julian emerges from the shadows, his ripped shirt exposing the blossoming bruises on his chest. She gasps, stepping forward to reach for him, but he takes a step back. His midnight sky eyes have lost their stars as they flash with an emotion she can’t identify. “I’m a monster, Princess,” he proclaims.

She ignores it. “I told you not to call me that.”

Without looking at her, he bursts into laughter, almost hysterical. The horror of battle has started to feast on his soul, on his heart and it threatens to tear her apart, seeing him like this. “Julian, please…” She can tell that he wants to look at her, because he clenches his jaw.

“I thought I was angry when I heard about Bhoran asking for your hand in marriage, Your Highness, but how can I be? I will never be good enough for you. I could never give you the life you want.”

Once he’s said that, the blood boils in her veins and fire sparks within her ocean eyes. This time when she strides forward, she doesn’t let him back away. Instead, she crashes her mouth onto his, her lips violent and desperate…

Unbeknownst to their co-stars, Bellamy and Clarke have already kissed countless times, so even though their makeout sessions are a lot more relaxed than this, kissing is easy. But staying in character, however, that’s difficult. She can tell that Bellamy wants to soften the kiss, which he isn’t supposed to. He also buries his hand in her hair, going off script, but it likely won’t be a big deal.

Definitely not to the fans anyway… They will gush about this for months.

Julian breaks away to discover that her rage hasn’t evaporated completely. “Since when do you know what I want?” She hisses, even if her lower lip quivers with emotion. In front of her is the man who taught her to fight, to defy her father, to value her own ambition instead of being obedient. “I want you. All of you,” she states, tearing at his ruined shirt until the material falls off.

“Cassandra…” Finally, he says her real name, causing her eyes to shut briefly as desire strikes her harder. Still, his voice is barely audible, hidden by a veil of uncertainty, but she holds his gaze with the utmost determination as she maps his chest with her hands, the bruises too.

(Clarke takes the liberty of licking her lips a little, so that means Cassandra does as well)

“Make love to me.”

He stares for half a minute. “I can’t… You’re a—“

“Don’t say it!” When she turns her back to him, Julian can’t resist the temptation of undoing the buttons on her dress. In fact, he wants nothing more than to free her of that horrible corset. Leaning into his touch, she sighs. “Until morning, I am Cassandra, no more, no less… And I love you.”

One thing that the TV Scoop journalist Riley Peterson remarked in his first of many reviews on Embers was that the love scenes were graphic, just like in Game of Thrones, which had a bunch of horny white men flocking to the show only to be disappointed when they discovered that Embers is unapologetically feminist. Jaha even had this in mind when he chose the type of sex that Julian and Cassandra (his two leads) would be having.

(“Yeah, Cassandra’s father may be all about preserving medieval values, but Julian isn’t.”

When Jaha said that, Bellamy had winked at her discreetly, whispering, “Julian knows how to please a woman. We have so much in common.” For that comment, Clarke kicked teasingly at his shin under the table)

There’s a cut between Cassandra’s dress falling to the floor and the next scene where they’re in her bed, having sex, so they take a quick break to have some water. “We got this, right?”

Looking around to make sure nobody’s watching them, Bellamy presses a reassuring kiss to her temple, and she smiles in gratitude. Still, she’s unsure about something, so she decides to ask Bellamy for his two cents because he’s probably the person — right next to Jaha and herself — that knows the most about Cassandra as a character.

“How loud do you’d think she’d be?”  When he raises his eyebrows, grinning, she swats at his arm. “It’s a genuine question, Bellamy.”

“I know. Sorry… I’m gonna say that she’s a woman, a virgin, who’s having oral sex with the man that she loves the most in the world, so… she’s probably loud. At the very least shook.”

Well, that part won’t be hard to play at all. The first time Bellamy went down on her, she was left speechless, feeling as if she were flying high above land with the stars surrounding her. Yes, it’d been that great, and luckily he’d felt the same way.

They’re smiling at each other when Jaha appears. “Sorry if I’m ruining a moment, but we gotta roll again.”

Showtime…  

To get it right, Clarke tries to remember the stars that formed behind her eyelids when Bellamy licked into her for the first time, and it works. She cries out, clutching at his hair with one hand and at the sheets with the other. As her lips part, Bellamy presses an unscripted kiss to her inner thigh, which has her gasping. It’s a natural reaction, for her as well as Cassandra, so it really doesn’t matter, but she still feels self-conscious.

“You good?” Bellamy adlibs, and she nods frantically, managing a fake moan when he pretends to pick up the pace.  

To be fair, the script doesn’t mention anything about Cassandra having an orgasm, but in the matter of two seconds, Clarke decides that yes, her character would definitely have one, so she does her job as an actress and fakes it. This is something that she’s never done with Bellamy before, which means that the production team will have to decide whether it’s convincing enough to keep in the final take.

“Beautiful,” once again, Bellamy adlibs, but he’s good at that, mostly because he has such a strong sense of Julian. Then he moves up her body to kiss her deeply, and when Jaha yells ‘CUT!’ it clearly takes all of his willpower to stop. Pulling back, he mimics ‘Later’ like a promise; his dark eyes alight with sparks.

***

Later in her dressing room, Clarke is alone and has just pulled out a Hershey’s cookies and cream bar as a reward for her sweet tooth when Bellamy walks in, hands buried in his pockets. A smile is blooming on her lips when she turns around to face him.

He starts, “You should improvise more. I know that’s usually my thing, but you’re really good at it.”

Feeling heat rush to her face at the compliment, Clarke admits, “Well, I’m not actually used to faking orgasms… I’ve only ever done it once.”

His brow furrows, and it’s most likely because of their five-year-long friendship that she understands why without having to ask. Therefore, she clears her throat, blushing harder. She feels like a teenager. “Not with you. I have an ex-boyfriend that I only slept with once before we broke up, and he really failed at getting me off.”

“Do you want me to get you off?”

“You just did,” she replies, her sassiness colliding with his bluntness in a way that makes him laugh. It’s her favorite sound, even better than jazz on a Sunday morning or a rainstorm pounding against her window…

“No. Julian got Cassandra off. We should celebrate. Jassandra’s canon, after all. ”

There are countless things wrong with having your co-stars head between your legs; especially it’s in an unlocked dressing room… Whatever. It’s too late to be sensible now, and if being sensible means that she can no longer date or have sex with Bellamy, she is choosing to be foolish.

“Oh, the things we do for fun,” she thinks out loud, the words emerging at the edge of a moan. Bellamy’s tongue is always able to give her earthquake-like orgasms that cause tremors to run through her body, the best of aftershocks. Laughing, she pulls him up to kiss the bronze stars on his forehead.

“Do you think we should tell the others about us?”

Her heart swells. This is getting really serious for him, too. “Yeah. When the time is right.”

***

As it turns out, the time is right on the night where the episode airs on national television, and Clarke has decided to invite the entire gang over to celebrate and watch live. Just when the love scene is about to start, Jasper mumbles around his slice of pizza, “This is my favorite part,” and everyone chuckles, but he is too fixated on the screen to notice.

Smiling a little shyly, Clarke walks to Bellamy while their friends are watching the scene unfold and sits down on his lap. Only when the scene is over, everyone turns to them (mostly because their phones are blowing up with Twitter notifications). Apparently the least shocked, Raven is the first person to make a comment, “Fucking finally. I knew all of that chemistry wasn’t there for nothing.”

“Reyes, you sound like a Twitter fangirl,” Miller notes, which earns him a pillow in the face.  

But yeah, in Miller’s defense, she actually does:

@Jassandraisreal: ASDFHDISNVJ BITCH I AM ON THE F L O O R. WHAT THE FUQ? #Jassandra #EmbersTV #507

@AmeradasJulian: SHE CAME… SHE CAME!!!111!!! WHEN WILL YOUR OTP EVER? I HAVE ASCENDED #Jassandra #EmbersTV #i am deceased

@Embersfan125: How is it possible to be so alive and so fucking dead at the same time?? I blame @EmbersTV @TheTheloniusJaha @ClarkeyG & @BellamyBlake #EmbersTV

However, this is nothing compared to the amount of keysmashes and exclamation points in the tweets following Bellamy’s announcement 18 months later:

BELLAMY BLAKE: ‘YES, IT’S TRUE. CLARKE AND I ARE ENGAGED.’

Fans all over the world have lost it. As @Jassandraendgaame on Twitter so eloquently puts it: “WE NEVER FUCKING LOSE BITCHES!”

[playchoices]

Inside Choices: Growing from “Rant Ahead, Be Aware”

While looking through Tumblr posts this week, one of the longer response posts caught my eye. The post was well written and though titled “Rant ahead”, was a well reasoned commentary on things that bother the post’s author. Since the post brought up many points that other players have also expressed, I thought replying as a blog post so everyone has a chance to see the response would be appropriate.

Thank you to lauraotaku2234 both for your thoughts and for permission to share it in our blog. The post is bolded below.

From the Tumblr post “Rant ahead, be aware”:

I just love how Pixelberry reblogs fanart and nice messages about the game. But when fans are actually pointing out errors and mistake the game has done… they just ignore it. They have decided to close a bubble to them.

This is a very fair point. Our team really does read a lot of the feedback generated by our players. But even though we may be working on fixes or things that address the critiques, most of the time people on our  team don’t give a firm answer for fear of making a situation worse or suggesting something that might end up not happening in the future. Because I lead the team, I have a lot more latitude in responding to critiques, but I’ve been focused on a lot of different projects which means that I haven’t responded as often as I should.

I hope this post helps to provide some more light on many of the below issues.

Now, there is a difference between the: “We want more diamond options” and the “James situation”. Here’s why:

On the diamond thing, I doubt PB will change that, mainly because they get their money from us buying diamonds, the more options we get, the least money they make. So its understandable. Yet, the money they make is supposedly to get better staff and equipment so the game can improve and be better. A year has already passed and I still can’t find what the improvement is or was.

You’re correct, it is harder for us to change the diamond economy. We have been experimenting with different options that try to balance our ability with making money and giving players a better experience. As a player, myself, I totally get the complaints. I don’t have anything new to announce right now, but we are working on different features and will see if things like rewarding diamonds for watching ads will help in providing that balance.

It also makes sense that you and other players can’t find what improvements have been made. But I’m hoping that is partially because we’ve been slowly building and rolling out improvements over time and that you’ve gotten used to some of those changes.

One of our most popular requests is launching more weekly content. And in the past year, the biggest change we’ve made by far is expanding from 3 books at launch to a much more robust library. When we first launched Choices, we had about 10 people writing with two new chapters per week. We now have over 30 writers and sometimes release as many as 6 new chapters a week with other new series in production, too. Along with all these writers, we’ve added more artists, producers, testers, and other roles to increasing our capacity for weekly storytelling.

It’s something you can’t see, but when I walk through the doors into our offices, I love hearing the buzz in our office and seeing all the people working together on Choices. And when all the writers assemble for their weekly “Writer’s Meeting,” I still get the chills seeing so many writers gathered around a long table talking about how they can improve their craft together.

So, I hope you really do believe we’ve been investing a lot in growing our team because we treat the future of Choices very seriously.

(As an aside, some people on the team have suggested maybe doing a Fan meet-up in the office - in the Bay Area in California - or maybe sending writers to different book conferences next year, so that maybe some of you can see that growth in person, too.)

Now… The James thing. PB common, you can do better than that. I wouldn’t be upset if you they gave us an actual reason as of why. Also, we need an explanation about what “other characters” means. Will the rest of the character change too? Will it only be a few one’s? I’m replaying every single finished book to find what other faces may have been changed. It has to be done, I don’t want to play The Royal Romance to find you changed Hana’s character appearance just… because.

You are right. We should have told you about the change ahead of time. Also, I wish I could go into more details about the change, but in my previous post, I tried to say as much about why we made the change as I already could. We know this really upset many of you. We understand. It’s our bad for disappointing you.

In regards to “other characters”, we have not rolled out the changes yet, but our Tumblr fandom is pretty clued into what other characters will likely be changed. We will make specific references to those characters when it happens. We will not be changing any other Love Interests (LIs), so Hana and others are safe.

The only book I’m not replaying is ROE, why? Because is a waste to my keys and time. The storyline got old really fast. It was actually a really good story, and I remember the First Book Finale actually left people with their mouths open, but they ruined it when they brought a third book, and now a fourth. I mean, it’s a plot that can be solved with a Snap. Adding more tasks as a way of length[en]ing the story was a stupid move and only brought fans rage. Most fans agree with me when I say: Endless Summer should have as many books as The Freshman, The Crown and The Flame shouldn’t have ended in the third book, The Haunting of Braidwood Manor should’ve been longer, Most Wanted deserves a second book, and even tho The Freshman is my favorite series, The Sophomore plot isn’t going anywhere, it’s like Love Hacks at its beginnings and it’s tiring.

As I mentioned before, Most Wanted 2 must happen. It’s the book every fan is waiting for, including me. It has an amazing storyline with amazing characters, yet, they decided to shut it out, and even erase it from their AppStore/PlayStore menu.

It’s pretty clear that much of the Tumblr fandom has the least love for Rules of Engagement (ROE.) But we have other fan groups and other people who really like this series. Just as we actively try to promote diversity in our characters, we do try to balance the resources we put into genres for various fandoms and individuals playing through our stories. We aim to have something for everyone, and all of our writers pour their hearts into everything they work on.

As the RoE series wrapped up, the writers of ROE moved on to a “mini-book” that would tie the series up in the right way. The book will probably finish too quickly for fans of ROE and not fast enough for fans of other series, but this book length fit the purposes of the story arc. Also because we have such a wide variety of writers, each with their unique storytelling talents and skills, continuing a romance series such as RoE doesn’t actually affect some Tumblr fandom favorites, like Endless Summer or Most Wanted.

Part of what we’re trying to do with Choices is to try new series and genres which is why we sometimes will end, or pause a series faster than fans want so that we can try new things. Most Wanted didn’t do as well financially as our other two launch series, so we moved that team onto Endless Summer and LoveHacks, where they could excel at leading new projects. One of those writers, Andrew, has moved onto managing another project. But Luke continues to be a part of Book 2 and 3 of Endless Summer (which we are aiming to start releasing in December.) And Owen is working on a secret new project, now that LoveHacks has completed!

I really do hope and think that when it makes sense, we will start work on Most Wanted 2. But it will be a matter of the right timing in terms of having one or more of the original team ready and balancing the start of Most Wanted 2 versus other new series we want to start. Dave and Sam will eventually return.

I respect Pixelberry as a company a lot. But with these changes and empty storylines, I just wonder where the old Pixelberry went. It seems like they just ran out of imagination to make stories, so they just continue old ones and create new ones with similar plots but shorter books that in the end everyone likes.

Thank you for respecting us. It’s clear in the thoughtfulness of your “rant” and in the praises and critiques of our fandom. Even when you think we’re ignoring you, we hear many, many of the messages. And I admit that some of the critiques really hurt and sometimes the ones that hurt the most are the ones that ring the most true. But we also recognize the strength of the critiques often is also a measure of how much our fandom cares.

I really, truly hope that as we release new chapters, books, and series that you’ll see that the creative wells of our teams has not run dry. And when a writer is being blocked, a designer is confused by the path forward, or a tester doesn’t know how to reproduce a problem, the creativity of the fandom often breaks that block, clears the path, and helps us keep moving forward. Whether it’s beautiful art, all the “Jomes” jokes, Brian’s Ask Blogs, the many forms of Cetus, faceclaims (yes, it’s okay to keep doing them), and other posts, your creativity motivates us.

As you continue to share on Tumblr or Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, we’ll continue reading, digesting, and modifying our plans. But if you have specific problems or want to ensure we hear what you have to say, I encourage you to contact us directly via our in-game Help. Or if the game is down, reach out via Contact us via our website. We have experienced Player Specialists who listen, solve, tally, describe, and share your thoughts with the right people on our team. They are the first to alert the rest of the team to major problems and Trina, the leader of that team, also shares motivating, poignant, or key messages to the whole studio. Also you can tweet story related questions to @PlayChoices. Jessica will often check with individual writing teams to see if it’s something they can answer.

To all of our fandom everywhere, thank you for your love. We understood that love isn’t just fun and compliments, but it also comes with teasing and obstacles. And the best love comes with hard talks, accountability, and growth. When we stumble, we promise to honor our side of the relationship by continuing to learn and grow. And we hope that you will continue to rant, tease, and grow with us.

On behalf of our whole team,

Oliver

[hellyeahheroes]

Secret Empire: Top Ten DUMBEST Moments

As far as events go, Secret Empire is probably one of the worst. And considering both Civil Wars, Ultimatum, Amazons’ Attack and Countdown are events, that bar has been set pretty low. So as it finally comes to an end, seven months too late, let us showcase some of the worst decisions made during the creation of this story. They made it into such colossal trainwreck.

Honorable Mention: Dress Like a Nazi To Work Day

Out of all moronic decisions in this event, this was the one that irks me the most because it slipped into real life. Marvel tried to get their retailers to not only dress in Hydra shirts the day the book premieres but also dress their entire store in Hydra symbols. At least one store owner told them they hire LGBTQ and Jewish people and will be dropping Marvel. Hard to blame that person. Who in their right mind tells people selling his product to dress like a Nazi?! And don’t tell me the old “Hydra isn't Nazis” crap. First of all, even if they’re not, they’re still a fascist death cult that had absolutely no moral qualms about working with the Nazis during World War II, copying from their style and being effectively taken over by remnants of Nazi Germany multiple times. At this point, it’s splitting hair. And two, Marvel, you had Steve Rogers say Hail Hydrand a whole year before. Since then you were constantly trying to tell people Hydra isn’t a Nazi organization and NOBODY BOUGHT IT! At this point, you should have looked at the “Hydra Takeover” idea and realize it might backfire. That this wasn’t recalled but went through only proves that Marvel’s head is so deep up its very ass they no longer see the reality.

Number Ten: Captain America Walking Out Of Himself and Standing Nearby

It is undeniable that Marvel did horrible damage to Captain America in this story, basically twisting the guy into everything he wasn’t. I was honestly afraid how, if ever, they manage to fix the character. But I was not expecting them to pull out the good, old-fashioned chickening out by having an identical copy of the character before he was ruined appear to take over. While seeing real Captain America beat the shit out of Captain Nazi is really cathartic, one cannot forget it came to be through rather...ridiculous means.

Number Nine: Tony Stark

Okay, this one is simple. Tony Stark is in this story. Despite being in a coma. Tony Stark holographic A.I. from Brian Bendis’ Invincible Iron Man is filling in for him. Only here he parades around in Tony’s old armor all the time without anyone commenting on it, recalibrated his personality to be constantly drunk and at one point Steve Rogers tries to decapitate him, a hologram, talking some technobabble about how Hydra made it possible for Tony to die this way.

He’s just Tony Stark. He is Tony Stark because Spencer had scenes requiring Tony Stark to be there and instead of killing his darlings like a good writer, he just wrote clearly human Tony Stark and threw some half-assed explanations and lampshades. It’s silly and makes every scene with him impossible to take seriously.

Number Eight: All the Fucking Quislings!

This one is bad. And I mean, just simply bad. Okay, it’s multiple problems, not a singular one. But it makes my very insides turn at the thought. Nick Spencer asked how can he threw some moral ambiguity IN AN EVENT ABOUT HEROES FIGHTING LITERALLY NAZIS and the best idea he had was to have some random heroes join Hydra. I’m not talking here about those who were brainwashed, like Wanda and Vision, although that is a conversation to also be had by their fans about how often this treatment occurs. Although I wonder - if they are too powerful to let them roam freely, why even HAVE them in this event? It’s not like every superhero was there, currently, heroic Victor Von Doom could probably break Hydra at day one and he was nowhere to be seen.

No, the real problem is with the fact they made some heroes join Hydra willingly. Sometimes they tried to throw flimsy reasons in. Punisher joined to get his family back...even though in previous stories he refused the same offer from less evil people. I feel it’s kinda funny they did this with Frank, considering the man who more or less defined him, Chuck Dixon, has thrown in with real-life Nazis like Milo Yiannopolus. Meanwhile, Deadpool and Thor just go along with letting Nazis rule the States because....Steve Rogers said so and Steve Rogers is always right. That’s just a plain stupidity and total lack of compassion on their side. I’m sure don’t feel like buying any book starring them ever now.

But the worst one is, by far, the Hulk. Who also comes back to life for this event, only to smash for Hydra and immediately die.But that is not the worst part. The worst part is how they build up to it. By having Hydra Steve give Bruce Banner long speech over how Avengers and everyone mistreated him over the years and with Hydra he will finally be accepted for who he is. And Banner calls him a Nazi and tells to go fuck himself. And it is a very powerful moment, Bruce Banner symbolizes everyone disfranchised by the society being offered hand by Nazis and heroically rejecting it... Nah, turns out Rogers was talking to Hulk who felt like changing his catchphrase to Sig Heil. I don’t think Spencer even realized what message he sent by this one moment. He basically said that everyone who has been screwed over by the system secretly agrees with the Nazis, but are “too PC” or “too weak” to say it out loud. It’s stupid AND extremely insulting, two for the price of one.

Number Seven: BARF!

How to properly seed a classic Chekov’s Gunman and yet STILL make him feel like a Deus Ex Machina? Make him ridiculously fucking stupid, that’s how!

Enter Barf, a random Inhuman with the power to vomit up things he needs. He shows up in the first issue, is absent through the entire story only to reappear in Captain America #25 and vomit out a fragment of Cosmic Cube. Because why let people work for their victory and earn their happy ending when you can just have all their efforts blow in their faces and just have means of victory handled to them on a silver platter in the most blatant way possible! If Nick Spencer knew he’s going to write himself into a corner, couldn’t he simply change the plot to avoid it instead of setting up something so stupid?

Number Six: Thou Shalt Not Kill, Miles

After Civil War II we were left with a vision of the future where Miles Morales kills Captain America. Once Secret Empire rolled around and we saw Rogers go full Alt-Right on the country, many were hoping this will actually happen. And Miles, with a handful of friends, does join Black Widow in her efforts to off Captain Nazi. And she spends most of the series training them to be more like her....then talking how she doesn’t actually want them to be more like her and how her generation screwed things up....then taking them on the assassination day anyway only to lock Miles up to kill Rogers herself and when that fails, give up her life trying to stop their fight. Which, in the classic refrigerator fashion, pushes Miles hard enough to actually do this. Only to be given one of the most hollow, lazy-written speeches about how killing is wrong. It hits all the old, tired notes. “Heroes should be better than villains”. “If you kill him, you will be just like him!” (a reminder that “you” in this situation is a Black-Latino and “him” is A FUCKING NAZI FOR CHRIST”S SAKE...). “Natasha wouldn’t want this for you.” (she showed it in the strangest way).... It’s especially bad when you have a character who has a backstory of being trained to kill but rejecting those ways, like Nadia Van Dyne, delivering this speech. Despite her background and personality none of this sounds like her words. It reads like she was going through a checklist of tired cliches.

This is why I came to hate this Aesop that superheroes shouldn’t kill. Because nine times out of ten this isn’t done to actually be a piece of a character driven narrative. It’s done to give a bunch of excuses to let villain live when he deserves to die.

Also, that entire plot point dragged since the previous event, in the end, amounted to BUG FUCKING NOTHING!

Number Five: Who Cares About the Civilians, Right?

So okay, the day is saved, villains are defeated, Captain Nazi got his ass kicked by Steve Rogers and Kobik, a sentient cosmic cube, undoes all this damage. EXCEPT FOR FUCKING VEGAS, WHICH HYDRA LEVELED AND LEFT NOT SURVIVORS! Seriously, I don’t care about the explanations given. Someone should have asked her to do it. And no, some “leave it as a reminder” excuse doesn’t work, Kobik is mentally three years old, she isn’t some wise all-powerful being like Odin or the Stranger from whom we could buy this shit. This is pretty much done only so that Nick Spencer can claim he kept his promise to not undo everything by the cosmic cube. He didn’t undo EVERYTHING, that counts, right? It makes all the heroes look like morons and assholes. Even Z Fighters in Dragon Ball have enough decency to ask the dragon to resurrect all dead civilians when they undo everything after every arc. Marvel heroes, for all the “lessons” this even taught them, couldn’t be assed to do even that.

Number Four: Ultron the Centrist

I’ll be honest with you, Pymltron wearing “Kiss the Overlord” apron, forcing Avengers and Hydra to sit and roasting all of them was one of the best parts of the event. But then it also comes off as paying lip service to the “both sides are as bad” mentality that we saw being used by people of today to desperately try to equate alt-right and those opposing them in real life. It’s pretty much justifying this approach in this story and it doesn’t matter one saying that is a fusion of mentally unstable man and a genocidal robot - he never gets challenged on this position because, for all his talk otherwise on twitter, Nick Spencer apparently cannot think of a compelling argument against it. I guess he secretly agrees with him...

And it doesn’t help that while Ultron ends up aiding the good guys, he does say it’s because Hydra became too strong and might pose a threat to him. Sending a message that any outside powers that show support to those opposing Nazis, in reality, wants America’s destruction...

Number Three: Nazi Pandering

Do I really need to explain this one? The entire event does nothing but bends over to kiss Hydra, and by the extension, Nazi ass at every possible opportunity. They beat up all superheroes because the plot says so, while the narrator goes on and on about how NAZI STRONK! We’re told they were supposed to win the World War II and that Allies “cheated” by rewriting reality...but for some reason let the Holocaust in?! Their rule is shown as being the strongest, which is water to the mill of real-life Nazis as their philosophy is based on “might makes right” and they beat up pretty much everyone, even Wakanda. Every victory heroes have against them must be immediately undermined by giving Nazis another win for consolidation. And while the heroes win at the end, this comes after several issues portraying them as absolutely pathetic losers who didn’t really earn their happy ending but it was handed to them by a random inhuman and Deus Ex Machina device. Which brings us to the next point...

Number Two: Cosmic Cubes

All the dumb shit going in this event can be tracked back to Cosmic Cube, be it as Kobik or the shards. She causes Crazy Steve to emerge, launching this story. And she fixes this mess at the end. Shards of Cosmic Cube serve as a distraction to put both good and bad guys on a wild goose chase because Spencer couldn’t think of any actually interesting plotline for this event. All dumb shit evil Steve pulls out can be explained by them. When it’s time for heroes to win, Barf vomits out a shard. And It undermines everything. A story that entirely revolves around this crap doesn’t have any time to actually show things it’s talking about. Maybe instead of running after Dragon Balls, more time should be developed to show how lack of trust and resentments between the good guys gets in the way? You know, something the narration keeps talking on and on and on but never is reflected in the book? Or show more of them acting like an actual resistance would? Worse, thanks to them heroes no longer win because they’re heroic but because they’ve been handed the I Win Button. Any easy win of the villains can be explained by them holding the Fuck You That’s Why Button. Making you wonder why even care if everybody wins only by writer’s fiat?

Number One: Bown Down To the Gary Stu

Most of the problems in this entire story can really boil down to just this. Steve Rogers is a gary stu. He wins because Nick Spencer wants to show how cool and badass he is. His plans always go without a hitch and he never has to adapt or improvise, under him, Hydra wrecks everyone's shit, even if he loses he still wins and in the end, the only man allowed to beat him is...another Steve Rogers. All other problems in the story can be traced back to Spencer’s desperate need to make him look strong. And believe me, he tried soo damn hard. Up to have him go full Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Four Madara Uchicha with Cosmic Cube Dojustsu on everyone’s ass at the finale. I don’t think we’d see a guy being shoved down our throats so hard if Roman Reigns joined Ultramarines! This is where the book truly falls. Nick Spencer could not let go of his fanboyism over the character and it twisted everything he supposedly wanted to say into a parody of itself, often sending the exact opposite message to accommodate the need to make evil Steve Rogers look good.

So, these are ten dumbest moments in the series. As far as events go, this was one of the worst. It looks like it might have ruined Nick Spencer’s career at Marvel and maybe in general, and will probably make it very hard to look at certain characters for years to come. The only good thing you could say is that it finally ended.

Fuck this book.

- Admin

[mairah-ariana]

An explanation for those interested...

So, some people already know what has happened, a lot of you don’t. I feel the need to explain for a variety of reasons. To get right to the point, Ink or Siyoh/X’issi as many of you may know her, has decided to cut ties with me completely so it seems, so its become rather apparent that we are no longer friends. If you care to know what happened, continue reading. If you are going to be a shitter to me for posting this, please don’t bother and keep scrolling.

Before I go into more detail about this, I want to preface by saying that this post is not in any way shape or form me trying to paint her in a negative light, or to try and hurt anyone. I know it will inevitably be taken that way by some people, and that is your prerogative but I need to be transparent about this situation. This post is first and foremost for myself, and also for everyone else who has known of our friendship. Its always been an extremely candid thing, and I’ve had people messaging me asking about her after all of this went down and I just don’t want to have to answer questions on her behalf. Not anymore. I am extremely upset. I have gotten minimal amounts of sleep. My birthday was the worst I’ve ever had in my entire life. I didn’t want the situation to ruin the rest of my plans so I did go out today, but it was hard to put on a happy face when I’m hurting so much. I am still having a difficult time believing that she would do this to me, but here we are.

This all happened, at least as far as I am aware because of what occurred yesterday here on tumblr between Ink/Siyoh and Tsubi, also known as @tsubi-uru.

To explain this particular situation, I will need to give you some background information. This is important for you to understand what happened yesterday. In Nov. 2015 a discord server was made with a group of people from this community. I won’t mention other names, as its of little to no importance, but Tsubi, Ink, and I were all a part of this discord channel. Without going into too much detail, I chose to leave this discord around 8 months in. It was an incredibly hard decision for me, one I did not make lightly. I spent 3 months contemplating what the right choice was. I ultimately did what I thought was the best thing for me and my personal well being. I knew it would be rough on my friendship with Ink and it was something I struggled with for a long time. I felt terrible about it, even though I knew I had done what I needed to do. There were a lot of other things from this situation that caused issues for me, but those aren’t relevant to this. Tsubi remained in the group up until this past fanfest. All you need to know is that she felt hurt by the people in this group and she chose to leave because of this.

Fast forward a while, Tsubi and Ink are trying to clear the air. It did not go well. There were communication issues, there was a lot of things said that were hurtful, and I will say that I felt in this particular conversation Ink was mistreated in that she went into this expecting to make amends and that was not what happened. There were a few more instances of shitty interactions between the two, but ultimately they had reached a point where they were on neutral terms. Fairly recently, a conversation occurred in regards to reasons I left the group that I have previously mentioned. In this conversation it was made rather apparent, that there was still some ill feelings being held by Ink in regards to Tsubi. I won’t pretend to understand what Tsubi went through with this, but as her friend I know she was extremely hurt by this particular interaction, and so because of this she chose to block Ink on all fronts, and just cut ties completely. Ink agreed to this, said she harbored no ill will towards Tsubi, and I thought that was the end of it.

Now jumping to yesterday morning and the reason I am apparently untrustworthy and Ink no longer wishes to be friends with me. Ink posted something in regards to Garlean naming conventions. At about the same time she posted this, in a discord server I shared with her she made mention of someone not knowing what they were talking about in regards to lore and naming conventions. I honestly didn’t even give this a second thought. That was until I saw someone else unrelated say something in regards to this post. It was at that moment, that I put it together, that the person she was referring to in that discord server, was Tsubi.

This upset me for a number of reasons. Firstly, because she told me she didn’t have a problem with Tsubi. Secondly because it was my birthday, and she had no regard for me or my feelings and how doing something like this might effect me. When I talked with Tsubi about the situation, I told her that Ink had made mention of the post in a group chat I was in with her. Ink later would go on to tell me she wasn’t trying to be cruel and that her intentions weren’t negative, but honestly lets talk about this. If someone who was so upset with you because of past conversations that they chose to block you on all outlets and said they wanted nothing to do with you, why on Earth would you think that posting something in direct regard to a “mistake” that person made would not come off as being shady and/or petty?

Tsubi asked to know what was said, so I sent her a screenshot. This right here is apparently the reason I am no longer Ink’s friend, but I’ll get back to this in a bit. I went on about my day, a little bit upset and annoyed but nothing terribly detrimental. I napped for a while, and when I got up a lot of people were pretty upset about the situation, and I could understand why. Tsubi emailed Ink, Ink messaged me, but the conversation was pretty short and she just shut down. Later on in the night, when she had deleted her tumblr, and people had began messaging me I PM’d her to see if she was ok because I was concerned and I wanted to be there for her. This is the point where she proceeds to tell me she couldn’t trust me, and that she had to put distance between us because I shared the screenshot with Tsubi. After this point she blocked me on twitter, removed me from facebook, and as previously mentioned had already deleted her tumblr and I haven’t spoken to her since. I don’t expect to.

I am beside myself. I can’t believe Ink ended our friendship over a screenshot. Its not like I was trying to drag her, or talk shit, or take something she said out of context. It wasn’t like she was venting her feelings and I told the other party what she said. I shared context to the situation with one person. If it spread from there, its out of my control. Maybe that was wrong of me, I don’t personally feel that way, but I am open to outside perspectives if they are constructive. I don’t feel like sharing what I shared was so awful that I deserved to be completely cut off and told I am untrustworthy. On top of having someone who I considered one of my very best friends fucking shit on me, there is one thing I take very seriously within myself. I am honest. Maybe to a fault. I believe in being honest and transparent and if I hold anything back you can believe its for someone else’s sake.

I just feel betrayed. I put a lot of effort and time and everything into my friendship with Ink. Apparently all of the things that I’ve done, all of the time spent, all of it meant fuck all to her. She didn’t try to talk to me about it at all. Nothing. Just completely over. I deserve better than this. So I guess there is no good way to end this, I just felt the need to explain myself, so people understand what happened, from my perspective anyway with the information I have. I’m extremely hurt. I already have trouble letting people in as it is, and its sad to say this is not the first time I’ve had to go through something like this, but damn does it still hurt just the same. I’ll be ok in time, and I’m going to try not to let this ruin Stormblood release for me, or anything else I care about and enjoy.

[woahscodelario]

anyway full offence but the fact that the Riverdale tv show has decided not to make Jughead asexual like he canonly is in the comics is so fucking ugly and y’all won’t ever convince me otherwise like let me just  explain it to y’all

as I stated: he is canonly ace in the comics!!! openly ace!! a confirmed ace!!! so they’re basically erasing a characters canon sexuality. And before y’all @ me with the whole “the comic and tv show are 2 different things!!!!” remember I don’t give a flying fuck. If this was another sexuality people wouldn’t be saying that. i don’t give a fuck that the comic and the show aren’t gonna be identical ofc they’re not but honestly changing something like this is so dumb and ugly and there’s no point to it if u deny that then ur also  annoying as Fuck

referring to the point above: changing his sexuality is so fucking pointless like,, boy wtf would making him ace do in relation to the plot?? he can still have a relationship or romance if they Need him too?? hell asexual can still have sex  if they desperately thought lmao jughead needs a sex scene they could have still made him ace and have sex??? all they needed to do was maybe have him mention the word and explain what it means for people to be happy. it would take what… 5 minutes of screen time?? and would change the plot in no way at all?? so What The Fuck was the point in not adding what the hell has erasing his asexuality done other then Piss people off

A BIG TV SHOW THAT WAS ALREADY GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION AND IS LIKELY TO BECOME REALLY POPULAR HAD THE CHANCE TO HAVE A CANON ACE CHARACTER!! A CANON MAIN ACE CHARACTER!! THAT IS HUGE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO HUGE LIKE  I CAN BARELY COUNT THE NUMBER OF ACE CHARACTER I KNOW ON ONE HAND!!! IT WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR THE ACE COMMUNITY  WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY THROW THAT AWAY IT’S SO UGLY LIKE SO MANY ASEXUAL (like me) WERE PROBABLY SO EXCITED TO SEE SOMEONE LIKE THEM ON TV  BUT INSTEAD THE SHOW WAS LIKE LMAO NOPE  ITS SO FUCKING UGLY TO HAVE PEOPLE HAVE OS MUCH HOPE TO JUST FUCKING SHOVE IT AWAY

they have no Reason for doing it. there’s no explanation as to why they did it. like don’t we at least deserve that.

the actor of the character was prepared to play an ace character. seemed happy to do so.  like… they can’t even use him not wanting to play him that way as an excuse.

also bonus point the way all the articles are saying “lmao jughead ain’t ace he’ll have romance in the show!!” is so ugly bc it shows people still don’t get the difference between asexual and aromantic and the show had such a good platform to show what asexuality actually is and had a chance to show the difference between aro and ace to people But! They! Wasted! It!

anyway in conclusion the cw riverdale is Cancelled to me after this and y’all can call me petty all u want but if this happened to a character of ur sexuality half of y’all would act in the exact same way so don’t even try with me goodbye

EDIT: anyway I’ve been informed that he the character is aro ace so I’d like to also mention how it’s ugly that they’re ignoring both parts of his orientation and would also like to apologize for my unawareness on this fact as it’s resulted in some ignorant and incorrect information in this post. I’d like to apologize to anyone who may have been upset or angry by this post and thought I was ignoring the fact he was also aro, I was simply not aware of this as I haven’t read the comics and was only gather facts from what I know from tumblr and twitter. I’d never intentionally ignore or erase a character's sexuality or romantic orientation and I’d hate to think people assumed that's what I was aiming to do in this post. My last point still stands in some ways as the articles keep saying the fact he’s getting romance means he’s no longer ACE when in reality it means he’s no longer aromantic and it still shows how people can’t understand the difference. Yet the article is still relevant as the fact he is going have romance is a valid point and is still ugly towards his character considering he is also aromantic and me completely dismising that point and saying it was wrong without full knowledge was rude and disrespectful. Also my point in relationships could still be valid as I know some aros do still get in relationships but I’ve crossed it so it’s still included in the post bit isn’t something that’s erasing he’s aro. Again sorry for any upset this may have caused, I hope this apology sort of thing makes sense and thank you to the people who helped me become aware of the mistake I had made.

[dansnaturepictures]

I have decided my photo of the week last week is the last I’ll ever chose, and my three photos of the year 2017 shall be my last: explanation post

The 1st picture in this photoset of autumn leaves being illuminated by the sun at Denny Wood in the New Forest was what I named my 236th Photo of the Week on Twitter yesterday for last week, to those who don’t know basically my favourite picture I took that week something I have done since 2013. After thoughtful consideration I have decided to want to make a few changes, so from this week I am no longer choosing Photos of the Week to tweet on Saturday nights and in turn my three picture category Photo of the Year system which I am busy choosing for my 2017 edition at the moment shall end too once I reveal those three pictures. I’ll firstly explain why I have made this decision, celebrate how far I have come with these activities and then introduce things that are slightly going to replace these activities for me on and offline and other “extras” to my social accounts that will be staying.

To be honest it was deciding to end my photo of the year system which drove this decision but the basic principle behind my photo of the week choosing which it shares is key to the reason. The primary reason is a positive one really as I don’t want to blow my own trumpet but I have taken so many pictures I am really proud of in 2017. So much so that my photo of the year “shortlists” which is a folder I copy every photo of the week and any other picture I like enough from that week into are far too big. The lines between what I see as a good photo I’ve taken and a bad one are so blurred now, it’s like I have the ones I really like, the ones I like, the ones I’m not quite sure how much I like and the ones I admit something didn’t quite work and I don’t like it. Last week when I had so many similar landscape pictures which I judged to be average due to my high landscape standards this year it just felt a shame and like I had pictures I liked there and by dismissing so many I wasn’t really enjoying these pictures. So this means both at the end of weeks and in serious photo of the year judging I am having to spend so much time deliberating what really deserves a place on the final shortlist and that and its becoming a bit of a chore and negative experience for me which I don’t want anything in my hobby to become.

The photo of the week choosing is part of that problem too and especially I come to dread Saturdays to an extent as I always try to get my photos and blogs posted by certain points in the evening and when I have closer choices and therefore longer choosing it just gets on my nerves a bit. I also just think with the photo of the year choosing I’ve done this one for three categories system for five years with this year’s added on and I just feel like while the process has excited me again it’s time to move on. There was also that moment on Twitter last year when someone thought me saying my Bala Lake picture was my Landscape & Sky photo of the year was me winning a competition so I guess it gets misleading and I may not have time to do all the choosing in the future going on with my life now so it feels like a good time to move on. I just look forward to in future taking pictures and being able to view them on my laptop and enjoy them, rather than look at the whole thing as a competition and be judging my photos straight away. To be honest the way I take pictures has now developed to be quite selective when I chose which photos to keep, process and upload on a day. I’ve done a lot of things a lot of times photo wise since I picked up a camera in 2009 so I suppose I’m looking to mostly take pictures on that have that X factor about them especially with the landscapes and common species I have photographed so much. So really it’s no surprise that whilst I may take a below par photo forward of something because it’s a rare bird or a landscape at a place that means a lot to me it is mostly my best pictures that are getting through now.

So I wanted to take this post to mark how far I’ve come since 2013. I am proud that I was disciplined enough to choose a photo of the week for well over 200 weeks and the 236 were actually over 238 weeks so there was only two weeks where I managed not to choose one and that was because I didn’t manage to take any photos on those weeks. So the 2nd picture in this photoset is that picture I chose as my first ever photo of the week of a Robin at Birdworld in Surrey. The 3rd picture in this photoset is one of my original photos of the year of Hathcet Pond in the New Forest my Landscape & Sky photo of the year 2013. Then as I didn’t quite reach 237 photos of the week the next (my lucky number) 7 pictures in this photoset are ones I randomly selected from my vast photo of the week spreadsheet I am proud I was able to upkeep for four years. They are; purple heather at Thursley Common in Surrey in July 2017, one of my favourite birds the Little Egret at Lymington in February 2016, Michaelmas dasies at Lymington in September 2014, White Admiral butterfly at Pamber Forest in July 2015, Ivy Lake at Blashford Lakes in March 2017, red autumn leaves at my old college in 2014 and Ashley Walk in the New Forest in 2015. So I’ll carry on my one last photo of the year choosing and post those as normal, a post on 1st November sets out the timetable. I’ll still use the system of ending my photography year six weeks early as that makes a lot of sense in spacing out all the different reveal posts and having firm decisions and obviously I started this photo of the year judging 6 weeks to the end of 2016 so even though those last 6 weeks ones won’t compete for my photo of the year in this way now I still want it to be exactly a year it spanned to end it. For the 6 intakes to the photo of the year shortlists I have left until the date I’ll end my photography year I’ll just qualify the deserved photos into it in a week. So I get experience of not thinking about choosing a photo of the week but I get to wind down the idea of judging them gradually.

I shall try and incorporate a celebration of me doing photos of the year five times on here in my story behind the ones I pick posts and this year these posts will be merged with my top 10 for each category on Tumblr. Because of a big life change which I will mention more about in due course I may not be able to do the planned Twitter photo of the year nights and the Tumblr posts may be the only way I reveal them this with the usual recap on New Year’s Eve but I will decide that for sure later. On the subject of this change it might be something that in the week I get chances to go out first before undertaking this activity which may mean photo processing and uploading will have to wait and I may not be able to post pictures on the day always and may develop backlogs. So the photo of the week and photo of the year systems give me one less thing to have to do in this scenario so makes it a bit more flexible too.

Now the thing about ending my photo of the year and week systems is when I do have spare time in the house I pump so much time into them, so I wondered what would replace them and have come up with things that might. Online wise the thing I have seen my photo of the week choosing do over the years is give people who didn’t see this one photo the first time round the chance to see it. So an idea I will try out is to retweet, quote or reply to the tweet a picture or the picture I liked best which I posted in a week, either later Saturday evening, Sunday at some point or whenever to still give that one picture another chance to be seen. Or I may consider pinning that one picture or even a couple split over a week to my profile to again give it chances to be seen again, but I usually like to pin my most popular tweet in a week for the following week too. So when I’m in patterns I may alternate it so one week my favourite picture tweet gets pinned the next week it’s the most popular one so I’m only retweeting, quoting or replying to myself for this purpose every other week but I will experiment with that starting right now. In terms of the end of year what I always seem to do on New Year’s Eve which I enjoy so much is tweeting one picture I took from each month, so that will stay. But I also want to do tweets and posts towards the end of the year saying “four more of my favourite bird pictures I took this year” are for example. As this keeps the whole idea of reviewing the year and underlining it to sign it off but is a more casual way to repost pictures I was proud to take then the whole choosing system and I think I’ll enjoy it more. My 10 Wildlife/Photography highlights of the year blogs will stay, so I intend to do them in 2018 with whatever that year brings as I love doing them, I may do them closer to the end of the year with the ability to time these to go out and I want to perhaps focus more on my blogs with these two systems gone.

But the big thing I am keeping and this change allows me to develop in an interesting way is the calendars I chose of my photos for my personal use. I usually get given two as Christmas presents each year, one for my wildlife/landscape where competition is high for places and one of pictures of my dogs. I’ve enjoyed making my dog pictures calendars over the years but now I will make one calendar solely for wildlife pictures and one for landscapes and other outdoor subjects so the minority subjects pictures I take which can include pictures of my dogs. Obviously landscapes at times include a bit of wildlife in them but the wildlife calendar will consist of close up and specific wildlife shots. This is something I have wanted to try out for ages and I think it will showcase a diverse and larger range of my best pictures well. Obviously whilst I only do it for personal use the calendar line ups will still give me something to tweet and the double choosing will perhaps fill my time a bit when needed. Because I tend to finalise my calendar line ups in May to give time to get them made and everything though I will still ensure the latter half of the previous year representation by ensuring five for each calendar have to be from this. So for example for the 2020 calendar only eight can be from the first months of 2019 maximum and five must be from 2018 after I finalised the 2019 calendar line up to make it fair.

So that’s a very long way of explaining this change I apologise. I was going to post it on Saturday but the pictures from today’s trip posted about in about an hour summed up exactly why I need to make these changes as the quality gap was just very little. I would like to thank you all for your incredible support to my photo of the year and week systems over the years. I look forward to showcasing my hobby on this amazing platform slightly differently and hope we share many more years of happiness together.