#this is so terrible (read: sad for me personally) im gonna go back to my mermaid spiderbit wip

[leolingo]

we've waited so long at this point it hardly even matters but the prospect of having to wait until an unspecified date in february to see qcell again is fucking with my brain

[eurydicees]

Also, I just saw you’re 23, I am too! It’s rough out here. Another idea: any characters, what’s it like being 23? Where are they at this point? I feel like hq shows that as being sooo grown up but like I’m just a big teenager right?? Idk just rambling

being 23 is so rough sometimes lmfao. i've got friends from high school getting married and friends from college having early life crises. i'm working full time and living alone but tbh mostly feel like i'm playing at house rn more than i am living on my own. whatever. it's fine. early 20s is just a silly time of life. anyways i don't have a fic for u but i Do have a headcanon list.

in no particular order, haikyuu characters as stupid things i've done in my early twenties:

atsumu: having a brother who is a chef does not prevent him from forgetting to take the cheese packet out of the mac and cheese box and dumping that into boiling water with the pasta.

udai: does not remember the last time he ate a vegetable.

oikawa: friends all went to a party without him and his coping method was getting so so so wasted on white rum and falling asleep on the living room carpet immediately after giving another friend a tarot card reading saying their breakup is imminent (to be fair, it was. but it was still kinda rude).

iwaizumi: after class, was led to a private stairwell by a friend, jokes "haha are you taking me to a hidden location to kill me." and then received a love confession. proceeded to say "uh. i'll think about it." then did finger guns. and said "im just gonna. go" and then fucking. ran. like not exaggerating, ran.

kageyama: went on a date. did Not At All Know it was a date, despite the very very obvious flirting. yes this was the same person as in the previous bullet point. don't look at me like that.

akaashi: took a 100 level class senior year and did not pay attention to a single lecture. instead wrote thousands of words of fanfiction in the classroom every day.

atsumu (again): another cooking one. i just think he'd be a terrible cook. sorry. anyways. "it's been 20 min, why isn't this scallion pancake im pan frying cooking yet?" (<- did not turn on the stove burner.)

yachi: hm the light in this room doesn't work. guess i'll just learn to see in the dark instead of inconveniencing anyone by asking to fix it.

akaashi (again): completely fell in love at first sight, but fast forward five months and it actually somehow worked out? however the five months were filled with the most insufferable pining possible, which could have been resolved so so so easily. also started talking about marriage, like, six months in.

bokuto: got sad. went out into a raging snowstorm in socks and no jacket. laid down in the snow for a long time. somehow, miraculously, didn't get a cold afterwards?

akaashi and/or yachi: changed majors and career paths because a pretty upperclassman asked them to. (i am very happy in my chosen path but jesus christ THAT was why i did it?)

hinata: flew from coast to coast of the country, then drove halfway back to the midwest in the span of three days. started a new job on the fourth day. didn't sign a lease on an apartment until the fifth day.

semi: skipped a day of work to drive four hours there and four hours back for a fall out boy concert. totally worth it but driving at 4am after a concert wasn’t the smartest thing ever to be done.

kuroo: started reading homestuck in the year of our lord 2024. this is an attempt to remain in contact with long distance friendships (by doing a bookclub) but jesus fucking christ dude.

ok this is getting too long and i needed to be ready for work, like 15 min ago lol. maybe i'll write more of these later, but i hope you enjoy these and my silly disasters are a little comforting :)

[folklorebae]

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬

Spin-off of my rockstar's girlfriend

Cast(s): Rockstar!Eren & Model!Reader

Cw: swearing, reader using she/her pronouns, slight hange x reader, food

A/n: haven't posted anything for months! hope you guys love this one<33

Liked by sashablouse and 4,715,937 others

yourinstagram life recently...

View all 15,725 comments

angelicyn WE MISSED YOUUUU

ynfan23 glad you post this when im still awake

yndaily OMG YOUR PUPPY ISNT A PUPPY ANYMORE. ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE SAW HER ON YOUR/EREN'S STORY😭

↳yourinstagram i know! but she's getting smarter and cuter. i love her so much, she's my girl:)

erenfan19 i dont see eren... soo the rumors are true?? :((

↳ynfan24 girl, she's her own person and this is her insta. besides, that man is childish lmao. imagine unfollowing THE Y/N L/N just because she doesn't attend his concert in europe...

14,937 likes

justjared After getting unfollowed by her long-time boyfriend last week, Y/N L/N was spotted walking out of Oscar-winning costume designer Hange Zoe's apartment building this morning. New couple alert?

View all 3,714 comments

ereyn.daily i'm happy if y/n's happy🥲

goddessyn cmon, we all know they've been friends for ages. stop spreading stupid rumor like this

erenfan20 not gonna believe anything till one of them confirm it in front of my face

26,638 likes

paradis.memes Thoughts?

View all 3,926 comments

paradisfan7 Im not believing this shit

erenfan21 she doesnt wanna marry him, im crying😭

↳paradisfan8 she once said she's jo march kinnie😭

↳ynfan25 How do you know she doesn’t wanna marry him? Maybe he doesn't wanna marry her? We don’t know what happened behind the curtain unless Y/N and Eren themselves actually comment on it .

erenfan22 guys, if you read the article that @people posted, at the end they said “Reps for Jaeger and L/N have not commented on the breakup.”

Liked by arminarlert and 3,916,939 others

paradisofficial Paradis World Tour. Antwerp. May, 2023.

View all 9,826 comments

paradisfan9 YOU GUYS WERE SO AWESOME😭❤️

paradisfan10 PLS PLS COME BACK TO ANTWERP ASAP. ALSO THE SURPRISE SONG?!? BED OF ROSES?!?

paradisfan11 so sad cant see you guys perform last night🥲💔

paradisfan12 if you guys dont cover “bed of roses” on your Asia Tour, you're racist.

↳paradisofficial We've agreed that every region will have different song to cover. Thank you for your support😊

↳paradisfan12 OMG I WAS JOKING LMAO (i mean, not really)

Liked by annieleonhart and 2,916,820 others

sashablouse unseen🤓

tagged: @yourinstagram @nicolo

View all 5,919 comments

nicolo 🤍

Liked by sashablouse

conniespringer dude, what were you doing in the first pic

↳sashablouse cause you're just a man 🙄

yourinstagram dont wanna be a third wheel anymore...

11,726 likes

paradisupdatee New Setlist For Europe Tour! I've upgraded the playlist, link in bio.

View all 1,826 comments

paradis.devil see you at accor arena tmrw!!

↳paradisupdatee See you, bby<3

paradisfan13 the fact they didnt cover any song in northern europe countries😀

paradisfan14 I literally flew from brussels to london last month to see them perform AND THEY DIDNT SING BED OF ROSES?!? I WAS ROBBED!!

↳paradisfan15 sameeee i attended some of their shows in us last year and they didn't cover any song 😭

paradisfan16 is this eren's way to confirm the breakup rumors?😭

Liked by carlajaeger and 5,916,028 others

yourinstagram the rumors are terrible and cruel...

View all 29,317 comments

ynln.jpg dont tell me you're in paris...

taylorswift but honey, most of them are true🤭

Liked by yourinstagram

↳yourinstagram patiently waiting for 1989 (Taylor's Version)😊🙏

↳ynfan25 soo the rumors are true?🥲

↳ereyn.daily i'm in spain without s

ereyn.exposing Whatever ereyn does is only for promo. It's a fact that eren is not going to follow y/n or ever going to post her picture on his Instagram again.

↳yourinstagram seems like you guys have been talking about this and tag me in a few posts everyday. but now please, i beg you to stop. it's just negative, i really have no hard feelings towards you. i just know what a beautiful world there is to go out and live in instead of trying to dissect a relationship between two people that you don't even know. i don't need his follow, my name is permanently tattooed to his arm. This is my final comment on this, but i want you to know that it's not meant to offend you. just hoping you can find something else in life to be inspired by xx

↳erenfan23 OMG OMG OMG YESS YOU TELL THEM QUEEN

↳ynfan26 FINALLY PEOPLE COULD SHUT THEIR MOUTH NOW. THESE "EXPOSING" ACCOUNTS ARE ANNOYING AF

↳erenfan24 I think you should've messaged them, instead of calling them out publicly like this. no offense, still love you tho

↳yourinstagram i see why you think that ought to have been a direct message, and i agree. i just didn't considered it. it's all really frustrating, and i'm only human... you guys understand how hurtful assumptions like this can be, especially when they are made about someone i care about a lot. if you guys care about him too, you'll eventually realize that we are on the same team. i apologize if it came off as impolite or rude. i was simply attempting to start a conversation so people would realize that their statements were painful rather than just an "anonymous confession." this cruel internet culture has no benefit for society as a whole. 

19,862 likes

ereynpost “You guys are crazy, you know that? No... I don’t think my girlfriend and I need another dog for now. What about you, Jean?” — Eren laughs as he answers a fan's sign.

USHSSUDSHDUAJSYSHS GUYSSS THE RUMORS ARENT TRUEEEE THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER OMFG!!!!

View all 3,749 comments

its.ereyn Girl, I almost deactivate this account

↳ereynpost PLS, SAME😀

ynfan27 OMG MY EREYN HEARTTT

erenfan25 PARENTS OMG😭😭😭

ynfan28 I can die in peace now, thanks

Liked by mikasackerman and 6,948,163 others

erenjaeger My love, my lady, the most precious human on this earth. I'm really grateful because we have an incredibly meaningful, loving, and fun relationship. As you guys know, this world is cruel and I'd do anything to make her the happiest, but I've failed to do it. I personally love it when people make assumptions or speculations about me, because I know they all wrong. But when people start to say something hurtful to my woman, I can't tolerate it.

Six years of relationship and we have never ever broken up, not even once, if that's what you all really want to know. She's my present and future, she's the one who teaches me how forever feels. The love I have for her only gets stronger and bigger, it's crazy to think about it. Thank you for all the love and support, we really appreciate it.

View all 53,027 comments

erenfan26 I TOLD YOU ALL THEY'RE ENDGAME

ynfan29 how to find myself a man like you😭

erenfan27 oh he is, he really is in love🥹❤️

yndaily the fact that i'll never experience this type of love hurts a lot. but i couldnt be more happier for you two💓

jeankirschtein ngl, at first i did believe you two broke up

↳erenjaeger bro, fuck off

↳erenfan28 LMAO JEANNNN, IM CRYINGG😭😭😭

ereyn.daily As iconic as David Bowie and Iman❤️

↳yourinstagram thank you, but I don't deserve this compliment. also, your comment will boost eren's ego, he'll think he's as good as him

↳erenjaeger why would you say that:(

(+bonus on what really happened lol)

[feelo-fick]

Headcanon: Chilchuck and his Bad Takes on Literature

i think chilchuck would be like my mom in the sense that he wouldnt like sad stories. dont get me wrong, cautionary tales? absolutely fine. they serve a purpose to him which is to tell people "dont be an idiot and do this or else something bad will happen"

generally sad or angsty stories though? no point to him, and in his perspective its really confusing how people just read things that make them sad. like whats the use of reading something if its just gonna make you sad. whats the lesson? its not even real so it doesnt help anyone.

whats the point in making yourself cry when you could just avoid that entirely by not reading it at all?

but the one of the biggest reasons why sad stories exist is to let you release all the built up grief in you. to send you something to let out all your emotions in a healthy way. catharsis. empathy.

even when i dont relate to the tragic experiences in some stories, several ones ive read have lead me to realize that im in a bad situation or that im following in the footsteps of the character suffering. its like a wake up call.

and making yourself cry isnt inherently a bad thing. if crying allows you to let go of building pressure and tension in you then thats good!

but chil wouldnt see that. of course he wouldnt, hes avoidant of most situations that would allow him to release emotion, and fearful of letting his mature (read: repressed) persona slip.

hes someone that runs away to quick comforts and distractions at the earliest sign of issue. hes already been in too many horrifying situations, dealing with another is a pain. and he knows denying everything and refusing to look at the situation doesnt help, but it definitely provides a quick and easy happiness in the comfort of ignorance.

because of this, reading something made to make one empathize with and confront these bad emotions is defeating the point of his cowering. if he faces his issues, even if only through the perspective of a story, he'd have to deal with acknowledging that things are bad and need fixing, and he'd feel terrible and guilty in the moment - which of course is the worst thing that could happen to a person (his thought, not mine).

which is why i find the concept of him being/becoming a tragedy himself at the same time as this headcanon soooo interesting. imagine the irony of him bashing on the protagonists of tragic stories for acting on emotion and impulse rather than logic, when he himself has fallen victim to irrational thinking while in grief.

cause... thats what people do when they grieve. they lash out, make bad decisions, ruin themselves, ruin others.

for a tragedy to be prevented, the protagonists would have to change fundamental parts of themselves, and act perfectly rational when under extreme stress. and chilchuck holds himself to these kinds of unrealistic standards because he unwittingly believes he can handle it all.

he cant, obviously. we see it for ourselves in his relationship with his wife. they were doomed from the beginning by chils already-established avoidance and lack of emotional vulnerabiltiy (and whatever else his wife had going on).

this is all just to say that if you told him about orpheus and eurydice, he'd probably be one of those idiots trying to point out the "plot hole" that he couldve "just not looked back" and "just trusted her"

i dont understand. whats the point in reading tragedies? the protagonist is stupid, anyways. why would you take bitter medicine? why subject yourself to that?

i think its just a bad story.

[p4n1cl0v3r]

hello.. im back from reading them.. uh and HUGE spoiler warning, like spoilers for everything cuz i cant keep my mouth shut.. this is also really long so im so sorry if you actually read this 😭😭 i just wanted to yap

OHMYGOD!?

ok. so. chase is burnt out, thats rlly sad 😭 hope he isnt too burnt out that its effecting him way more than he can handle,

his beach boys outfit is adorable. deacon not being on the island and chase being stuck with buddy i knew was gonna be terrible from the start. when i saw chase hand buddy a water bottle to light the fire i thought it was sweet that they were getting along, same with buddy telling chase he can have the second fish.

at first, i thought buddy was hearing the whispers so i didnt really think much of it.

the “buddy being a vampire and chase freaking out” was really funny, i found that hilarious and just chase thinking buddy was cute (even if he said it was in “a jerk way”, it was still nice and i wonder how that will go down (after the most recent chapter)

buddys face when chase pulled the chocolate out looked like a dog seeing a ball, it was adorable ngl

my heart sank when chase made a comment about buddy not being treated well and then buddy shivered.. like hm i seriously wonder how he actually is being treated, yk? like all we see of him is him being a jerk and just genuinely not giving a shit about anyone or anything (until the most recent chapter in which ill get into that in a second..)

deacon was not having a fun time with the seagulls 😭😭😭 rip deacon 😔

the way chase bribed buddy with the last bar of chocolate was so funny

chase hit buddy in the face with a ball 😃👍🏼

buddy then threw chase in the ocean and called him tiny (damn bro making fun of his height, its okay chase is just fun sized ☠️)

buddy with curly wet hair felt weird but it looked nice on him

i found it sweet that chase wanted to help buddy, even if all buddy has been towards him was rude. shows what type of person chase is and it makes me love his character so much, everyone needs their own chase lol

i know buddys main goal is to get the keys, and so it would be very unlikely that he would throw that away to become friends with chase, but man. when chase called him out on it and the shattered heart image in the background… awh man.

the small fight they had was sad, but once buddy left chase was sitting on the ground crying, i may be wrong but i dont think we have seen him crying until now, right? brb lemme go check

ok i like reread the entire thing and few times we saw him cry was when we saw him visit myra for the first time in the story (that we see ofc) and it was just for a split second, and also in the same episode visiting his fathers grave, he seemed to cry a smige more but thats all.

+ while doing the research for that, i realized that in the very first episode chase got a black eye and when he went out of the book, he didnt have it anymore. so (again ill get into this when i get into the most recent chapter and what happened then) but at the same time, the second episode was more of a “hey! this is how this mess started!” sorta thing, so we dont know the timing of it.

in the morning when chase wakes up and sees buddy, from the way buddy is speaking im pretty sure he was upset about the conversation the night before too, as he’s never been that violent with anything towards chase before. im not saying buddy is a violent person, but at the same time, its concerning a bit how he took “the two characters have an argument “ and his anger took over him and make it a hostile argument instead of verbal.

“and if they do make you miserable, you deserve it” hm i get that chase is upset, i mean buddy is quite literally being a psychopath at this point in the story, but man.. when i read that i was just in amazement that that came to mind, i dont blame the guy ofc but still. didnt go over well, buddy seemed to be pretty affected by it, which brings up again, i do genuinely wonder how the ex libris is treating him to make him so easily shaken / angry when its brought up.

buddy hurt chase. now to be fair, chase sorta (i think) kicked him and made buddy land face first in the sand etc. but he didnt draw blood. buddy drew blood, now what i noticed when this happened is buddys first instinct was to drop the spear and instantly basically panic. its clear he didnt genuinely mean to hurt chase, but he still did.

now as said above, we dont know if these injuries can travel from book to real life, as we dont have solid proof that they do. but its obvious, even if its fake, that the characters still feel it, so that must have hurt a lot (ofc it did lynx you dumbass bro is literally bleeding on his face 😒) but if they do travel to the real world, how is chase going to hide it? its a slash under his eye on his cheek, decent size too. doesnt seem that easy to cover. i mean, he does have like 47 skin care products so maybe he can cover it with that somehow but im not sure

back onto the point above, buddy’s first instinct was to (first pause and stare) and then drop the spear, making it clear he didnt mean nor, even want to hurt chase maybe. buddy is usually good with his words and with what he says, it all comes out perfectly as if he is reading a script when he speaks. he was choking on his words, “trying” to explain why that happened.

“n-no, i-“ “i didnt mean that, i just-“ “i wasnt…”

he was obviously not prepared, nor did he want to. again, he was after the keys, he wasn’t after hurting anyone.

(which this is all quite obvious, however i love to yap and i have no friends in person that also like cinderella boy so shush let me nerd out for a sec)

it kinda felt uncomfortable seeing buddy so.. what’s the word? unsettled? upset? surprised? one of those, maybe all three. this entire episode for the most part felt off putting, buddy not being his “ha i dont care, just go away” persona and instead getting pissy (more that usual) and even upset at the end. it just didnt feel right and its so obvious that after this the next story that chase goes into (if he continues) will be so different compared to these when it comes to interactions with buddy.

“youre just a scum, you know that?” YIKES BRO 😭💀💀 chase is uh yeah i just wanted to mention that line

seeing chase with tears in his eyes, obviously looking genuinely scared and saying “all i wanted to do was help” HURT MY SOUL. again, mentioned above, we rarely see him cry, and the only times we did was when visiting his sick mom and his fathers grave. thats it. the fact that hes cried now twice because of something buddy has done is huge, dont ya think?

chase ran away crying, which ykw i dont blame him, buddy’s body language was also a huge giveaway that he genuinely felt bad because again, hes usually so confident in the way he poses, and from the moment he hurt chase to the end of the episode, he was holding himself, just standing there.

also the fact that the last panel is one of the chocolate bar wrappers blowing towards buddy’s feet was also interesting. like putting salt water into a cut yk? (haha get it cuz theyre on a beach island and chase has a cut.. haha.. okay sorry)

SUMMARY/THEORIES

okay so these were a LOT to take in, and chase being already burnt out might be a reason he cried so easily, but you never know. i think buddy gaining chase’s trust without trying and KNOWING (or probably knowing) he had chases trust and just not caring and broke it without a thought kinda sucks, but as said TWICE. we dont know his situation. for example, what if he will get hurt or someone around him will if he doesnt get these keys? we dont know why he does what he does so we cant really excuse nor can we blame him.

i saw them getting along and from that second i knew it was going to end terribly.

my theory is, that when deacon comes back he will see chase hurt and upset, and buddy either will be no where in sight (very likely) or he will be very quiet and not making a single noise in the background. deacon will see chase, probably be really confused and then realize who chase was around. now, im not that great at reading characters.. unless like i study them HARD so all this next stuff just might be bs, but ima say it anyways because its tumblr.

now, i think once they get out of the book, deacon will beg chase to tell him what happened, if he didnt already in the book, even if deacon already knows without saying. deacon, being deacon, will probably panic, and either 1) try to convince chase its a bad idea to continue. 2) try to convince chase to take a break and make deacon do them for a small period of time (very unlikely). or 3) deacon will be hesitant to continue, but if they do then he will be a lot more protective of chase, and possibly look more into books completely without any sort of villain.

its obvious there could ALSO be other scenarios, but these are the ones i came up with. another is that chase could stop completely, and just give up. but thats HIGHLY unlikely as its literally part of the story and silver and bronze will probably try to support him.

now, with the chase and buddy dynamic… oh wowie. this is a slow burn enemies to lovers story, which means this wont be miserable for a long time, however it still asks the question “well how are they going to react towards one another” and my GOOD friends, who the fuck knows. (punko thats who)

however! its impossible for them to go along and pretend it never happened, because its clear they were both hurt by it. even if it wasnt completely just physically. maybe buddy will stop appearing in the books for a second? what if he’s replaced by another member? ikik unlikely. okok, well what if in the stories buddy just stays quiet and entirely follows along with his character? i feel like that wouldnt last long and i dont think buddys that much of a jerk to try and dodge it. chase? i feel like chase would try to dodge it, i mean after this he has to fear buddy a little right? they could also be a lot meaner to one another, but i also see that as very unlikely. i can see chase being more cold, but for some reason i cant imagine buddy being as rude as he was in the beginning, or even rude to being with.

all in all, i really dont know what theory to go with, MAN I WANNA NERD OUT MORE ABT THIS. 😭😭😭 (yk w someone who will actually listen cuz my friends irl dont give a shit)

holy shnizer that was a lot of words... okay well if you read all of that then we might as well be friends cuz man i talk a lot about subjects i like.. BUT YEA. WILD RIDE. WOWIE.

me when it comes to cinderella boy:

[yeahspider]

I have a request if they're open! Can you please write something with Han or Felix based of the song Matilda by Harry Styles? I relate to that song more than I want to 😭

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE REQUEST !!!! tysm for stopping by my inbox i love this song it means alot to me so this is gonna be based off of my personal experience a little bit and i hope that's okay. also its a lil short im sorry . this is only semi proofread but just know that it was written passionately. abrupt ending as always and to all readers this is sfw but allusions to triggering topics such as parental abuse and neglect . enjoy and feel free to stop by again ! <3

(also i have something to confess …. this was originally written with lee know in mind bc i’m dumb and read your request wrong ….so i altered it i hope you still like it i’m sorry 😭😭)

Grape juice 🫀

"Do you think I'm a terrible person for leaving?" you asked felix as you both sat in silence on the hood of his car. The night was warm despite the cold thoughts making their way into your head. It's been six months since left your home and three since you met him. In that time you've never felt more free. Your home life was never that good. Your stepfather was mean and your mother was blinded in love She did her best and you know that, but you were suffocating. Never enough money to go around and even less love. Your childhood was cold and ended all too soon. your family was struggling and you wanted out. As soon as you came of age you left. Starting a life of your own a world away. A life that was significantly better than the previous one you led. Every so often though, those thoughts would creep back up.

you abandoned them

you're being selfish

ungrateful

a coward

but felix was always there to chase them away. he didn't know every sad detail of your life but he knew enough to know that your home life was slowly killing you. Taking your hand he rubbed his finger over your palm, tracing the lines and curves.

"Your mother called again?" you nodded as you mulled over what details of the conversation you had with your mother earlier that evening. Calling it a conversation is a kindness you apply for her sake. In reality, it was thirty minutes of your mother berating you for leaving. From the sound of her slurred words, you could tell she was drunk, not a new thing for her. On most days you can ignore her hurtful words but today for some reason unknown to you, they stuck around in your heart.

"Just more of the usual stuff. She wants me to come home. Says Im a terrible person for leaving, that I abandoned my family. you know the usual stuff." you tell him as you pick at a peeling piece of paint on the hood. you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes and it made you feel so pathetic. How could someone miles away hurt your feelings? Crying felt stupid and pointless, you weren't taught to cry.

"You can cry you know? I'm not going to judge you." felix said as he wiped an escaped tear on your cheek. Something about those words made you so confused. Why wasn't he telling you to stop? To suck it up and be an adult? That you weren't a child anymore so it's not okay to cry when someone hurts your pathetic little feelings. An anger surged through you as you jumped out of the car and turned to him.

"Why are you so nice to me? I mean we barely know each other yet here you are comforting me on my mommy issues. What do you want from me?" you shouted at him as he just blinked at you, taking in your frenzied state. You weren't mad at felix and he knew that. This is just how you were taught to respond to kindness. Vulnerability was punished growing up, that lesson was still deeply embedded in your consciousness. He waited until your words washed over you and with the water came a calmness. He's seen plenty of your outbursts at this point in your friendship, although infrequent he handed them with grace every time. It surprised you never gave up on yourself like everyone else. Your brain wanted to be suspicious, your heart felt otherwise. felix waited until you released a breath and sat back down on the hood, muttering an apology as you went.

"You owe them nothing. All your life they've done nothing but tear you down as soon as you try and build a life for yourself. Your family robbed you of a childhood don't let them do the same to your adulthood. You deserve to live for yourself. That doesn't make you selfish or a coward. I won't let them ruin all the progress you've made. You're a good person. No one should make you feel any less." He finished his speech with a pat on your thigh, signaling you to get up and into the car.

"where are we going?" you asked as felix reached over and buckled your seatbelt for you. a habit he never seemed to forget.

"Somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. As far as we need to go for you toshake off those feelings. I'm gonna remind you how fun life can be. "

[ceilidho]

Twenty questions for fic writers

thanks @kneelingshadowsalome !!!! @ohbo-ohno @charliemwrites if u guys wanna do this go ahead. or anyone else that feels like it

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

47 LMAO

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

a staggering 583,382

3. What fandoms do you write for?

call of duty basically exclusively now, but i used to also write for star wars, shadow & bone, spiderverse, rings of power, and the last of us (may write more for tlou in the future)

4. Top five by kudos.

dead ringer, take me home country road, red dawn, ghost prompts, and landscape with honey.

5. Do you respond to comments?

god i used to all the time ages ago, but now i don't. i truly just get so overwhelmed and it exhausts me. i will respond to the odd comment now and again though, and i read them all obsessively.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

"the terrible nature of ghosts" for sure

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i guess "landscape with honey" ended on a sweet note. or "birdsongs". i like writing fics that have endings that feel neither happy nor sad; i'd like to think that most of my fics end on a note that make you feel mildly uneasy but overall good.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have blocked an UNTOLD amount of people, so not anymore. but every now and then i'll get the stray "you're evil and the shit you write is fucked up" comment. people tend not to do that when you moderate comments though.

9. Do you write smut?

well now, that's my bread and butter

10. Craziest crossover.

i'm with salome on this one - i'm a purist. not interested in crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ages ago when i was younger sure. not since then thankfully.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

maybe?? i know some people have asked and i've given them permission but then they've never come back to tell me whether they did it or not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes!!! i wrote "dead ringer" with a friend and it's my most popular fic lmao. i love love love co-writing with people, but i rarely do it because your style kind of has to match the other person's in order for it to work.

14. All time favorite ship?

god reylo was really it for me for the longest time. i'm not sure any non x reader thing will ever top that. i do LOVE abby/ellie from the last of us, but there's hardly anything for them.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

any reylo incomplete fic, im so sorry. it's just not gonna happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

detailed descriptions. introspection and character analysis.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DIALOGUE. i don't know how the fuck people talk sometimes. also longer plots. and i'm not amazing with visualizing how houses and places look for some reason so i really need to get better at that (i'll be honest, i still don't FULLY know what the town in "country roads" looks like so i try to describe it very vaguely).

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i really only enjoy it when it's used effectively - when the audience is supposed to be aligned with the main character in not understanding what's being said.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

teen wolf!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

"saltwater" my beloved. or "auribus teneo lupum" from my reylo days.

[robintherobiner]

Types of fics i need more of:

de-age fics. Baby Bruce? Teen Bruce? Baby Dick? Teen Dick? Baby Jason? Teen Jason. The list goes on and on. deage them all. is it sad? is it funny? is it cute? is it traumatic? i dont care, make them all little.

ghost fics. i want Jason to haunt the shit out of his family. he sees them all grieving, comes back to life, and instead of killing people he just leaves ominous notes like "i saw you trip on your cape." or "leave fifty bucks at *address* or i'll tell everyone about your superman body pillow."

Tim being an utter loser. I love him, but he should be incredibly put together in public and then he gets home and just... is a mess. never felt the touch of anyone, woman or man. can do complex mathematical equations but needs a calculator to solve 4 x 3. think Sherlock Holmes, who can tell everything about you from one look but doesnt know the earth revolves around the sun.

Alfred being called out for being an enabler! fuck that old man, i hate him. however if he made me a cup of tea, i would die for him. Im a very complex person.

Dick being Damians dad. so cute, i love it. Damian deserves to have his own taste of found family. fuck blood of the womb, lets go with blood of the covenent or whatever the quote says.

Jason being childish!!! i think his mental age should younger than his physical one cuz, trauma, being dead, being catatonic in some cases, also just being pretty young anywas? gimme a fic where he comes home covered in blood cuz he just killed four guys and then goes to have a shower so he can play with his rubber duckies.

kiddie crushes!!! gimme more Jason loving Wonder Woman and being an utter fanboy when he encounters her. "Oh em gee you're here to apprehend me? Wonder Woman, this is such an honor, can i have your autograph-" Young Dick meeting Superman for the first time and hiding under Bruce's cap because "He's so pretty Bruce, he's gonna hear my heart go fast!" Tim meeting Constantine and, to everyones despair, somehow adoring him. "So you do magic? Thats like, so cool! Tell me all about it. My parents were archeologists, we probably have loads of of magical objects, do you wanna check them? Do you like coffee? Did you really sell your soul to multiple people? Thats so hot- I MEAN COOL SHIT FUCK-"

Literally anything about Dicks time in the circus. I think i've only read like two fics about it? Compared to the hundreds going indepth on Tim and Jason's childhoods?

Similar to the last one, but gosh the culture shocks they all probably had! Dick was used to constantly moving from city to city. Jason going from being on the street to a mansion. Tim going from boarding school, a place full of kids his own age, to being alone in his house so that he could be Robin. Damian was used to being respected and honored, he was a prince after all, only to suddenly be told that everything he knew was wrong.

Babs and Tim. I think they would get along, i wanna see them bonding!

Joker Junior. i know its not canon and it was only in like one cartoon but oh my GOD i love it.

Trauma reveals!! i love them. Dick's time in spyral, his apprenticeship with Deathstroke, the multiple fucked up relationships he's been in. Everything Tim did during 'Brucequest', Jasons time with the LOA, literally anything from Damians childhood.

Jon being aged up and his relationship with Damian! i dont even need to add anything, you get the point.

Dana, Jack, and Janet. I want it so bad!!! Dana is implied but never confirmed to be dead so bring her back and let her and Tim mourn!! let Tim find out his parents both slept with Bruce and have Bruce be like "oops i forgot about that, soz sweetie-" let tim hate christmas eve because thats when his mother was buried!

if anyone has recs for any of these sort of fics, PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME. i've probably read most of them already, but i have a terrible memory so i love re-reading fics. just, gimme gimme gimme

[valentine-writes]

ur writing is super good!! sorry if i’m piling on with this, but any angst with miguel? i need this man put in a blender

if you need to be mean

「 tws + notes: vv possibly ooc, unedited, spider-person reader, unhealthy dynamic, assorted angst, hurt/comfort ending, reader is cold, miguel doesn't know how to deal with emotions, everyone is a wreck but they're all trying so hard :( </3 」

「 gn!reader, man idek if this is platonic or romantic tbh y'all r just messy here 」

↳ ft. miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099

author's note: THANK U SM!! and i got u!!! i am. so excited 2 practice more for him– anon please don't be upset w/ me,, but,,, (´∩｀。),,, i physically don't think i can write Pure Angst. i wud b no good at it!! :p so! hurt/comfort in the end ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ i CANT JUS,, END IT SAD,, </3 i am so so sorry!! also so so real putting him in tha blender at the Highest Speed ever,,, he iz my milk webkin fr (lovingly) (kinda) some real quick stuff: this was gonna b short but i Overdid It and im still unsure whether i like it or not. and also. i was supposed to have the reader being mildly Messed Up™️ too cuz "hehehehe letz make this more difficult >:))" (also becuz miguel is NOT the only one allowed to have issues + too many angsts i have read where reader jus takes what miguel dishes out passively and i didn't want that) BUT I ENDED UP MAKING IT WORSE AJDHDQWHJE,,, hopefully this is. angst galore. again i am not great w this <( _ _ )> <//3

▸ maintaining a healthy relationship with miguel– in any form– proves to be difficult.

this is especially prevalent in the beginning stages of your developing relationship. you begin to learn that he is terrible with verbally expressing any affection he feels towards you. some days he seems almost so completely distant that there’s valid reason to worry that he just doesn't care about you anymore.

these worries are the furthest thing from the truth– miguel hasn't cared about someone to this extent in a while. still, he finds himself lacking, completely unable to tell you how much you mean to him.

▸ sometimes he grows fearful that he's become too attached to you. he aware he's in too deep at this point, yet conflict rages on in his mind: whether it's better to hold on as tight as he can to keep you in his life, or let you go before something rips you away from him.

part of him is worried it's only a matter of time before something happens.

these thoughts are usually quelled by drowning himself in tasks and missions, using his focus on work as a means of distraction.

when there's nothing left to shut them out, he chooses to avoid you instead of seeking reassurance.

there are times when you don't see him for days straight. he doesn't send you on any missions, doesn't contact you, actively avoids you when you're inside of the HQ– and when you eventually see him again, he avoids speaking of it. you both understand you're meant to pretend like nothing happened.

you're not beyond doing the same to him. miguel is distraught with how similar you two can be, how you reflect him and he reflects you in unique and awful ways– ways that only the two of you can understand.

▸ whenever you choose to be the one to spontaneously ditch, however,,, there are moments where he gets desperate and ends with him seeking you out,, usually by assigning you a mission just so you have a reason to come back

no matter who leaves– whether it's you or miguel– you both end up taking each other back in the end, half-heartedly reaching the unspoken agreement that this is the way you two “reconcile.” you grow accustomed to this back and forth.

you're both wonder who this is hurting more.

▸ never wants to be seen as clingy or needy. wants to convince himself he can make it on his own, that things are somehow better that way. miguel feels a deep frustration in the fact that he can't seem to process his emotions in a proper manner.

he seeks solace in solitude, even if it never fully works. he's willing to settle with feeling "okay" instead of "better." (self isolation moment.)

asking for help on missions is one thing. asking for personal help is another, which means that offering him support on his bad days is always a hit or miss.

most of the time, if someone chooses to extend their hand to him, it's typical that he swats it away and insists he doesn't need anything. he doesn't accept help easily– even when it's from you.

▸ there's always the off chance he lets you stick around. he's silent as you find a place for the two of you to sit down. once he’s comfortable, he leans against your side.

the quiet in the room isn't tense. it isn't scary. you know he just doesn't want to talk about what’s bothering him often. he can't even verbalize how much you mean to him– how is he meant to explain any of his other emotions to you?

"it's okay." you whisper, breaking the silence in the room. "just... take your time."

even though your words are as soft you can manage, it feels like you're yelling in contrast to his complete wordless state. you glance over at him. miguel doesn't meet your gaze.

"i'll be here for you," his expression softens ever so slightly at your words as you reassure him, "i promise."

he only mutters one word in response: "don't."

▸ (next headcanon based off of this art from instagram. slide two specifically.)

you can still remember the first time he ever cried in front of you. it's been a vivid memory in your head ever since it happened– not because of why it happened– but because of how it happened.

"you haven't been around for days, miguel." it's been almost more than a week since you've last seen him. this time, you sought him out– not to bring him back into your life, but to confront him one last time. after deliberating for longer than you cared to mention, you finally decided you were going to make things right or get out of his life for good.

and there he is, standing on his platform. it's lowered to the ground, the orange holographic screens surrounding him empty, displaying nothing. they emit a soft glow in the dark of the room.

"tell me what's wrong." you demand. the tone in your voice is unfamiliar to him. you're not making any effort to conceal how thin your patience has been wearing.

his back is turned to you. he doesn't say a word until you approach the lowered platform he stands on.

"go away."

"what? like you've been doing this entire time?" you retort.

"go away." he repeats more forcefully. his anger doesn't scare you away. nothing ever does.

you stare at him unflinchingly. "not until you tell me what's wrong."

miguel knows you're going to stand firm. you're going to stay until he tells you. as he lifts his head, glancing over his shoulder to speak to you, you brace yourself– you wait for him to yell. to lash out. anything.

he just looked at you. his eyes, stinging with tears, meeting your stare.

you don't remember what was hurting him that day. you can't recall what made him breakdown in front of you. no, this is the part you remember.

miguel's large frame looks so much smaller as he attempts to shrink himself, as if trying to hide from you. he averts his gaze, trying to blink back the tears and fails horribly.

he has nothing left to do. miguel hides his face in his hand, even if it’s only the two of you in the room. he’s humiliated– completely ashamed– that he can’t seem to stop his crying. for a moment, you’re frozen, unsure of what to do.

it's a drastic change from how you know him. standing in front of you, miguel seems more like an inconsolable child, rather than the detached and icy person most knew him as.

"don't look at me." those are the only audible words miguel manages to choke out between stifled sobs. he cries like a little boy.

and you hate it. you hate how hard he makes it hard to stay angry at him. you hate that no matter what you do, you can't stay away.

the tension in your body dissolves slowly, jaw unclenching as you sigh to yourself. you’re caving already.

it takes you a moment, but you know you can't leave him like this.

slowly approaching him, you quietly wrap your arms around him from behind, gentle enough for him to pull away from your touch if he didn't want it. he doesn't protest. you swear you can feel him subconsciously lean in.

"it's okay," you mutter, "i got you."

▸ miguel makes sure to talk to you the next day after you comforted him. to your surprise, it wasn't to tell you to keep that moment between the two of you– he knew you well enough to know you wouldn't say a word.

he was there to say thank you. simple and plain as that. he thanked you for sticking around. thanked you for being there even though he constantly pushed you away.

and you couldn't find the energy to respond. horribly disheartening to miguel, considering this is the most effort he had put in to communicate with you– but understandable. he didn't push you any further.

as awful as it felt to know, you didn't want a thank you. you didn't need his gratitude for your stubbornness.

it was much too late for a thank you to resolve the days he left you without a word, only to return expecting everything to be the same. it was much too late for a thank you to make you feel better about the fact you ended up comforting him even after everything. those words couldn't fix anything.

you wanted a goddamn apology.

▸ it's been almost three weeks since you'd last been seen around the spider society hq.

nobody seemed to be aware of the reason for your sudden disappearance. miguel was worried sick.

his temper is shorter, his patience is waning, and he’s willing to snap if anyone even mildly irritates him. it’s an unpleasant experience for everyone.

he'd tried to find you by tracking your watch, which proved to be useless. you were too clever for that– you'd made yourself undetectable, somehow disabling or destroying it before you left. miguel could’ve hunted you down, searching every place in the multiverse to find you again, once more to see you. but he didn't have to. the moment he had decided to start the search, your watch went active again, allowing him to locate where you were. like you were beckoning him over.

he didn’t hesitate to meet you there, stepping through a portal to get to you. notably, you weren’t in your own universe– but he wasn’t going to scold you for that. not now.

there you were. it was almost dream-like to him, seeing you sitting in the grassy fields in the middle of nowhere, the outline of your frame illuminated by the moonlight. the night air was filled with tension, as you sensed him approach from behind and quietly sit beside you.

he’s the one to break the silence. your name slips from his lips, as he’s about to speak up–

"hey." you greeted flatly, cutting him off. you glance at him with a weak smile, chuckling dryly. "so... you need something?"

"...no." miguel glanced around at the unfamiliar setting. just before he can get anything out, you part your lips to speak again, looking up at the dark sky, glittering above the two of you.

“i forget that new york doesn’t have the best view of the stars.” you murmur. “light pollution and all that shit… so y’know,, this is nice. i missed this type of view.”

he nods in agreement, though the small talk about the stars isn’t what he wanted from you.

you continue with your little ramble, seemingly just saying whatever came to mind. “speaking of cities– how’s your corner of the multiverse been? has nueva york been fine? feels like forever since i’ve been there.”

miguel tries not to be distracted by your casual conversation or your obvious allusions to your absence. he sees the way your shoulders are held tense, the way your gaze flits over at him expectantly– miguel knows you’re just waiting for him to talk about it, anticipating what he’s oing to say next.

"i– look–” he takes in a breath, finding the words he had been planning to say all this time. “i know. i know i messed up, and i messed up a lot. …i just came here to tell you i'm sorry. for everything."

there’s a momentary lapse of silence between the two of you. the tension is immeasurable as he watches you shift your sitting position, facing him entirely.

"you should be. asshole."

miguel sighs. “i… really should’ve expected that.”

“you know, migs? i tried so hard to just leave you alone.” the previous confidence in your voice wavers. there’s no bitterness in your words, no malice. he hears it in your tone: you’re just worn down, utterly emotionally exhausted.

he hears a sniffle, causing him to turn his full attention to you. the tears glisten as they fall from your eyes and drip down your cheeks. you make no attempt to shy away.

“what are we gonna do now?” you ask, looking over at him. your voice is faint. small. “i can’t let you go– and for fuck’s sake, you won’t even let me– so… what now?”

“i… don’t know.” he confesses. his hand makes his way to yours, placed atop it. his other wipes your tears away, trembling as he touches your cheek with all the tenderness there is, like he’s afraid he might hurt you. he whispers your name again, and it is the sweetest sound you’ve heard in a while.

miguel usually thinks he’s no good at comforting others. but in this moment, you would’ve never known that. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into an embrace, holding you in his arms like you’re the most precious thing in the world. he’s not leaving you to suffer alone. he’s not leaving you like that ever again.

“you don’t have to forgive me.” he whispers to you. miguel knows he can’t repair all the damage he’s done. he knows you might never be able to look at him the same. And for once, he’s fine with that. he just needs to know you’ll be okay. “...just, please. let me do this for you.”

[strugglingatart]

Jr year ep 2

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don't want to this will be long

No shenanigans at the begining way lowkey sad I love our intrepid heroes being dumb

Siobhan and Zac kick it off with SUCH good turns straight away we love (also emily's cutting words? delicious)

Them all discussing more stuff mid battle is so nice I love but also not Ally forgetting they could try to heal lol

"playing with you all at level 10 has never convinced me more that this game is unplayable at level 20. fucking unplayable" Brennan the man who I 100% have seen play att level 20. But we HAVE to stan the complaing I love them so much Murph especially I always laugh so much

Siobhan please we cannot be confident before rolls they go bad then

we were doing so well like seconds ago and now everything feels terrible

ARMOR OF AYDA omg my loves

Kristen and Riz are me when my friends are being to sexual but also Kristen please remember you and tracker?

NOT FABIAN FALLING AGAIN, and his idea was real good as well, but Ally yeeting the dice also a big mood

Lou's sass was so good I love im so much

only one person saving out of everyone is brutal why do dice currenntly hate them

Murph loosing it at Ally's saving throws being empty is so funny, and poor them gatting so defensive (also have they been doing it wrong this whole time then? has it never been written down? was is just a mistake on their season prep?)

Zac and Lou killed that look at me bit I'm sorry they are geniuses

I truly thought Brennan was gonna make this fight SO much easier and in many ways I get why he didn't but I'm not over it

Listen Murph is looking SO GOOD this season it legit distracted me for a few seconds I had to go back to understand what Brenan said about the van flipping I am a disaster queer through and through

this is so intense all of a sudden omgggg

Poor hangvan ily and know Gorgug will fix you tho

Oh no Kristen, but also the die deadass turned on them, sad vibes (also I miss good rolling Murph I know we had him for one ep but I loved him)

once again yeeting the dice is a mood and then the whole if i hit anyone bit, art tbh

AHHHHH that nat 1 followed by a nat 20 was magical, also Em is wearing the naddpod live shirt 😍 I was 110% with her tho I wanted Gorgug to get it so bad so that deception roll was EVERYTHING TO ME, Ayda claming Gorgug as the greatest wizard is legit one of my favorite things whenever they bring it up and support that theory my heart is so happy

Brenan just being like yes these npcs i made up for the media res are just for that they will die even if they don't

Zac has what healing thing? again not knowing enough about DnD makes me bad at knowing who can do what

shoutout to the two crew

listen this theme of exaustion specifically with school will end me like i cannot it hits too close

Moggy the doggy! we stan Adaine the little guys guy(gal?)

Did Cassandra text you? Nonstop

this flourish lacks flourish (me giving the finishing touches to art projects for university)

LISTEN Fig asking about first day of school outfit was literally Emily choosing violence omg I felt that deeply

I still have jump and i haven't used it so I'm just gonna... I love Zac

They all LOOSE IT at two more guys and I know it was mostly the players but honestly having an absolute laughing fit out of exaustion is another big mood and I felt both seen and called out (I have STROIES about this) and like it just fit the theme so well

there's two nat 1's, Lou's full discociated, Murph's loosing it, it's pure chaos for a bit but whoever did the closed captions? A+++ job

Kristen taking ths ice cream sandwich out and going to the hangman is gold (also I remember the pouch of ice cream sandwiches existing like I fully remeber Kristen usinf it before but i don't remeber when/where she gets it despite having just rewatched both freshman and sophomore years and it's bothering me)

I want the so tactical so late t-shirt

Fabian passed so I legit thought that was gonna work but you know what? it's funnier that it didn't

"I was a turncoat the whole time" is so funny for no reason, also Fabian babe, ily but like why do you wanna kiss a mirror it will not be enjoyable (also at this point Lou is either feeding into all the comp-het queer theories or is like the queer whisperer)

The father the son and the balthazar made me cackle

I have said this before in a post somewhere but while I get where Kristen is coming from so much like truly I'm right there with her but also I kinda hate how she's avoiding Cassandra but also I get it baby but also pls do better (or at least change tactics in odrer to to it lowkey unhealthily)

Fabian I promise you you can do better LMAO Riz, you are correct

Again to me Fig's hypothetical is like fighting words I'd be pissed and depressed

But also high school me would have loved a dance camp tbh (also to be able to dance in general rip my dancing dreams, taken away by a chronic issue and over protective parents)

"I think I do a really half hearted prayer of healling just because I don't.. trust you" I love Ally so much

ah yes the silliness is back but they are so tired

wanna stay at our place? we have so many beds

The entire ecaf bit was so good i cannot deal

Hallariel is saying Fabian's name more like the elves or am I tripping?

Gillear is slightly less pathetic! he won a cruise! oh and they are engaged, full step sibblings Fig and Fabian

also poor Fabian like he needs his parental figures here... Cathilda better stay or I'm personally gonna have words with Brennan, stop making them suffer they fuck up things alone

ALSOOO there is no way Gillear would not want to talk to Fig omg I'm fighting brennan again

Gillear luck... did Fig uncurse him by taking that deal and is she about to get his bad luck?

SKLONDA we stan

Brennan I swear to god this tiny goblin has saved the world three times what do you mean he cannot go to college I will fight you, this scene hit me so hard omg we were promised silliness not heart wrenching reality in my fantasy

I think Zac legitimately forgot the mirror didn't run away for like a second which makes it funnier but Fig IS just that good. 32 decepetion fool the character and the player

BRENAN what do you mean Zelda gave back his stuff this is DURING the seven where they are still TOGETHER I swear I will riot

Frosty fair mentioned twice it's connected to or the big thing this season

The Thistlespring are SO PRECIOUS

Jawbone and Sandra Lynn made a cake I can't deal, and it's belated birthdays omg the way I would cry

THE RAGH AND LYDIA ART IS SO GOOD

the justaposition of Emily's cackle and Ally's face to the dangers Fig and Kristen are dangerously and/or wildly close to being expell is so good

Lou choking on water at "we're allowed to fail a certain number of classes each semester" also real good treiler editing bc I thought that was 10000% connected to the you let your god die line that comes right before it on there

Fig's been multiclass since start of sophmore year, does she do warlock classes sometimes I wonder

I like that Jawbone is not judging here he's just like facts: you are failing and this is why, now we can see what we do about it

ouch that whole im swimming my head is liquid kristen thing felt dangerously close to me... I usually relate to gorgug and riz like i adore kristen but she's never me what is happening (this is not bad just me having like my 10th identity mini crisis this year)

THE AYDA ART she looks so bummed but so pretty.. but also Brenan I feel like I said I'll fight you a couple of times here but if we get no ayda I will fly to LA and fight you

I reached text limit will do a part two

[gelataisa]

I'm not delusional, right? When I read other people's thoughts about Squalo and xanxus's ship, they say that it is not real 🫠, and if it was real , it would be one-sided, which are Squalo's feelings🥲, and it is just a relationship between Boss and his captain, who admires his ambition, but I feel that it is illogical if that is the case? There is something beautiful, but they ruin it, but if what is between them is not real, especially xanxus’s feelings for Squalo, this will not become beautiful, but rather a nightmare. Squalo’s interest is clear, but xanxus does not, and this is what makes me not sleep, and what do you think about xanxus’s feelings for Squalo? I don't want to be delusional lol.

I want something that eliminates my doubts so I can live in peace😔helppp

My dearest anon, finally I have the time to answer you. This ask has not left my mind since you sent it, im sorry it took so long.

At the same time though, I am glad it took so long cause i can answer you calmly.

Your ask really angered me. And dont get the wrong idea, none of that anger was directed at you.

There are many layers of wrong in what you reported on your ask, and i'll try to adress them properly. Under the cut cause its gonna be long (and i hope i wont bore you) - i will answer your direct question in the last point, in case you want to go straight to the point. But for real, there is much to unpack here.

We have people bashing you for a ship that you really like, to the point you think that you are delusional. And that is fucking nuts. Every ship is legit. Every single crack pair and rare pair is legit. Cause we are all losers who spend their time thinking about puppets kissing. There is no higher ground to stand on. And this applies to ships that we see no fucking point in as well. And i am not saying this as a person that loves any ship. I am the pickiest shipper ever. And i am not a good person either, there are many ships which i loathe. Yet, i have the decency not to go to the people who ship such ships. If i complain it is privately and with the right people. If i dont like a thing i block (and i have blocked people because of what they ship). Everyone has the right to see only the stuff they want. No one has the right to make others feel bad for the stuff they like.

Personally, i firmly believe that there are ships and ships. And I hope i was not too italian saying that. the point is: i think some ships are basically written in the source material. That is to say, regardless of whether you pair the people romantically or not, the dynamic is deep, complex and (especially) apparent. You dont need to add much of your own to make it work. Other ships, on the other hand, need more work to be "justified", to gain substance. They may require filling in a lot of gaps, or looking at details scattered in the story. Now, both kind of ships have their own dignity (as per point 1), we dont get to choose the things we like. Still, i believe that at the same time we allow anyone to enjoy their thing while we enjoy ours, we need to also realise that some ships have more substance in the source material than others.

I know that the first two points may seem unrelated to what you asked, but i needed them for now. ive heard many the complains you have mentioned in your ask. and they angered me particularly cause usually they are brought up by people that try bring forward their own ships, and that know to do so only by bringing "competitor" ships down. I know you have not explicitly said so, but i believe its whats going on in this case, and it makes me incredibly angry and - honestly - sad. I believe that people that do this realise their ships are not as solid as XS (or some other ship) is (back to point 2), so they bash on it to advance their own. This is what angers me. Now, what makes me sad is that while doing this they also terribly mischaracterise the characters to the point they are not themselves anymore. Indeed, what a pity

Now, about XS: most of what i think of them i have said here. And about Xanxus, as you asked... one thing is clear: people that say that he does not care about Squalo have not spared one thought for him. And if they have, I am sorry, but they have not understood a thing about him. Xanxus is a very complex character. His most apparent trait, once you read the manga, is that his actions most of the times dont reflect his thoughts. and what he thinks is masked, and very well so. he was raised with the pressure of expectations, and hardened a lot because of it. he wasnt allowed to show any weakness, or maybe it was just himself who got convinced of it. but any feeling he has, apart from his anger, he suppresses. it took him one whole arc to express his motivations (and i dont even remember how much of his past was revealed to the cast) and to show emotional weakness. it took him 10+ years to defend his family and show he cares, and even then, he still didnt admit that he accepted Tsuna as tenth. after 10 years. How could anyone expect him to show love for someone? Or that he cares for anyone? That is the only gap you need to fill in XS, a gap named "Xanxus Vongola and his multiple issues".

To conclude, my dearest anon... you are right to say that there is something beautiful. Dont let anyone ruin it for you. And especially, surround yourself with people who share your interests and dont even look at those that try to bring you down instead. You deserve better than that.

And i know im not the best one in interactions, whether it is answering asks or messages or else (thanks anxiety and constant exhaustion) but i truly am glad when people interact about xs. You are more than welcome in my inbox, or if youll ever want to add to my posts and reblogs. to build a xs community is my dream on here, i hope ill have the energy to do so

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

hii! im kinda having a hard time rn so i wanted to request a marilyn x fem reader. they are gfs and both work at nevermore. the reader is having a hard time with some stuff and marilyn starts to notice over a couple of days (at the house and at the school). marilyn sits the reader down and tries to talk with them but the reader just says they’re “fine”.

a couple days later while they are doing their routine before work and the reader starts breaking down into tears and explains to marilyn how they are feeling. (a lot of fluff/marilyn going full protective mode)

Yess!!! Since I've read you're not okay, I decided to give priority to your request. Look, I don't know what are the problems you're having, but you have to know that everything always is gonna be all right. I suffered a lot of problems when I was at school years ago, and those days were the worst of my life.

But now I'm a new person, and I don't care what other people thinks about me. I know I can't do nothing to cheer you up, all I can do is to write this for you, and to let you to know that here is a friend to listen to you if you want to talk to someone!! Be strong and love yourself, it's the only way to happiness :)

Every little thing, gonna be all right

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Teacher! Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt & comfort, mentions of depression

Word count: 2,254

Summary: You’re having a hard time, and there is no one who could cheer you up, or so you thought

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!! Sorry about the language mistakes, and please, be happy, life is wonderful!!!

The beep of the alarm clock brought you out of one of your anguishing nightmares. Normally you had no problem getting up, but for a few days, it was more difficult than ever. You turned off that horrible sound with a sudden blow and looked at the ceiling with a blank look.

“Another shitty day…” You whispered in a low voice.

Next to you, your girlfriend moved as she did every morning, hugging you half asleep.

“Good morning… (Y/N),” she said with her voice still asleep.

You hugged her to your chest.

Marilyn wasn't the problem. There was really nothing wrong with your life. You had a job, a house, a perfect girlfriend. Anyone looking at your life from the outside could be envious. That wasn't what made you wake up tired, sad.

It was some kind of transitory phase, or so you thought. Stress was also to blame. It was exam time and you had a lot of work. You stayed up very late correcting and that also led to a terrible lack of sleep.

You were depressed, listless, but you couldn't show it, not in front of her. Marilyn was so kind and so protective that she would surely call Larissa to tell her that you couldn't go to work, that you needed her care and words of encouragement. You probably needed them, but you didn't want to admit it.

It was enough that you were like this. You didn't want your girlfriend to suffer. She was too empathetic and you didn't want to give her a hard time. You decided to hide.

“Good morning, Mari,” you said, feigning a happier tone. She snuggled closer to you with a warm smile.

“I don't want to go to work…” She whispered childishly. “I want to stay here with you.”

If it wasn't for her, you'd be completely lost. Her words were the only thing that kept you tied to reality. Without her you would have gone completely crazy.

A thunder was heard outside. The weather was not helping your spirit. It hadn't stopped raining for three days, and that could depress even Marilyn, who always seemed like the happiest person in the world.

The idea of getting out of work was tempting, but you shook your head, noticing how the redhead fell asleep again.

“Come on, lazy girl. Larissa is going to kill us if we're late again,” you said, shaking her gently. She made a groan of protest as you pulled back the covers and looked up at you with a tired look.

“Lately we've never been late…” She sighed, sitting up on the bed. You were taking off your pajamas to get into the shower and you looked at her with some embarrassment. She was right. Normally your love made you lose track of time in the mornings. You've already been reprimanded several times for being more than an hour late.

But not anymore. You hadn't made love for days. You knew Marilyn didn't want to bring it up. Your tiredness was very evident in your eyes. You felt guilty, worthless for not being able to give your girlfriend all the love you had for her. That conversation would come soon, but you tried to make it as late as possible.

“I know, there's a lot of work and…” You started to excuse yourself, taking off your pajama shirt. Marilyn smiled warmly at you, and she hugged you from behind, kissing your now bare shoulder.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It wasn't a reproach...” She whispered to you, giving you a pat on the back. “Just an observation,” she teased, winking at you.

You made a superhuman effort to smile back as you went into the bathroom. A hot shower would certainly do you good, but you can’t have good luck even with that.

“Ahhh! Damn!” You yelled, feeling a jet of icy water on your body. Marilyn ran in.

“My God, what's wrong?” The redhead asked, stunned by your abrupt reaction.

“The, the hot water…” You stammered. “It, it doesn't work…” Your words trailed off at the same time that the water began to heat up.

Marilyn shook her head and gave a slightly wary smile.

“(Y/N), you have to wait a while, you know…” She told you, incredulous by your reaction.

You were angry. Angry for making a fool of yourself, for feeling frustrated and for not being able to vent. You would never think of paying for it with her. It wasn't her fault, no one was.

Things were as always. A hot shower with your girlfriend, a quick breakfast, and a horrible cold when you leave the house.

“Let's go in my car today,” you said, pressing the keys’ button. Marilyn nodded, but when she turned her gaze, her face changed.

“Umm, (Y/N)…” she said shyly, nodding towards the vehicle.

“What?” You asked, opening the door. The rain was starting to wear off your patience. Marilyn only pointed to one of the wheels. “Oh, no”

It was punctured. Definitely everything around you seemed to be against you. You snorted and leaned your head against the vehicle.

“Surely it was the other day branch. I told you we should have taken a better look,” The redhead said, putting a hand on your back.

You pursed your lips and stepped away from the car. You had to make a great effort not to answer rudely or abruptly.

“Yeah, I've noticed, thanks,” you said with your voice a little wrapped in anger.

The road to Nevermore was as boring as ever. Whenever you weren't driving, you were the DJ, playing upbeat and uplifting music to start the day off right. Not that day, you only listened to the local radio station.

“(Y/N), are you alright? Normally I have to fight with you to turn down the music,” Marilyn asked you.

You looked at her briefly and then put your head back on your hand.

“My head hurts,” you lied, although the lie was even worse.

“Don't worry, when we arrive we'll ask the nurse for an aspirin and…”

“No, no, no. I'll pass. It must be the pressure change due to the storm...”

There was no further conversation and you were grateful that it was so. You didn't want to speak badly to her, she didn't deserve it. She gave everything for you, always, and you used to do the same. You used to.

The classes were bad. Your patience was running low, and you didn't feel like joking like you used to. You were abrupt, sulking, not wanting to put up with the whispers of the kids. Naturally they noticed and kept silent, looking at you almost fearfully.

The bell rang and you felt a certain release.

“Go away...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into the chair. The students looked at you strangely, surely wondering where their usual teacher was, the one who always joked when explaining a writer’s life.

It was too late for lunch and too early to dinner. You pulled out a file cabinet full of overdue papers and began to read them, angrily pulling out your red marker. There was going to be a lot of bad results.  

“Stupid, stupid!” You said furiously, putting a huge X on one of the jobs. “It's not Marie Curie, it's Mary Shelley, you idiot!”

“(Y/N), don't be so hard on them, they do what they can,” the redhead told you, leaning on the door.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to stay calm.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, noticing how hard it was for you to move your muscles to fake a smile.

“You haven't come for lunch, I assumed you were busy,” she said bending down to give you a kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot, here.”

Marilyn reached into her pocket and offered you what looked like one of your favorite candy bars.

“Thank you Marilyn, you're always taking care of me…” You sighed, taking the appetizer and looking at it melancholy. The redhead bent down and she kissed you again, but this time she didn't pull away, she just stared at you, as if she was examining your expression.

“Honey, lately you've been a bit... Apathetic. Excuse me but I think something is wrong with you,” she told you, caressing your cheek.

Nothing went unnoticed by her. You shook your head, feeling a familiar ache in your throat and the sensation of blurry vision.

“N, no… I'm fine, Mari, just a little tired,” you said, praying that the tears weren't too evident in your eyes.

“Sweetie… If something happens to you, all you have to do is…”

“I'm fine, Marilyn, really. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of busy and…”

Your girlfriend's look turned sad, disappointed, but she nodded and walked out the door without saying a word.

You couldn't feel worse.

The rest of the day was boring. Marilyn came to see you a couple of times, and you to her, but barely speaking. You only looked into space with a lost look, noticing how the gray clouds in the sky were a faithful reflection of your feelings.

The next day…

That thunderous beeping again. That beep that brought you back to reality. The routine was slowly killing you.

When you opened your eyes you didn't even feel like complaining or saying a bad word. You just got out of bed, not letting Marilyn hold you. You walked towards the kitchen as if you were a zombie, an automaton condemned to do the same thing over and over again. You started the coffee maker and you stayed contemplating how the coffee was coming out.

“(Y/N), you woke up early…” A sleepy Marilyn said, walking towards you and hugging you from behind, kissing your shoulder like every day.

“I wanted to make coffee…” You said resignedly, taking two cups from the cupboard. “Do you want some?”

“Of course,” she told you happily, sitting on the stool.

You ate breakfast in silence. Marilyn seemed just as happy as ever, but you were staring at the mesmerized counter and its design marks.

“I've been thinking…” Marilyn said as she got dressed. You were sitting on the bed and you looked at her slowly, coming out of your dark world of sadness and desolation. We could go on vacation in two weeks. “You know... Just you and me, with no Nevermore, no students or exams.”

You nodded with a slight smile. You still had the towel wrapped around your body. Your clothes for that day were on top of a chair, but something prevented you from taking them. Maybe it was the weather.

“I have thought about Florida. Also, we can go to see alligators, I know you like them.”

You couldn't take it anymore. The tears that were forming in your eyes finally found their way down your cheeks. It was a lot of pressure kept for many days. At some point they had to get out.

Marilyn turned around and her face changed completely. She ran towards you and crouched looking at you concerned, grabbing your hand.

“My girl… If you don't like Florida we can go to another…”

“No, it's not that, Mari…” You sobbed, grabbing her hand tightly. “I lied to you, Marilyn.”

“What?” She asked scared.

“Yes, something is wrong with me, I just, I just don't know what it is...”

“My love... Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't know what to tell you... I don't know what's wrong with me...” You said broken into tears. Marilyn sat next to you on the bed and wiped away your tears.

“Try it, honey… I want to help you,” she told you softly. You shook your head and took a breath.

“I feel submerged in a gray and routine world. Everything is stressful. The classes, the exams. I feel as if I were in a hamster wheel, rolling over and over again,” you explained in the best way that your tears allowed.

“That's normal, honey, it happens to a lot of people…” She told you, holding your other hand.

“I Don't know. I don't feel like anything…” You kept crying, being unable to stop yourself.

“My poor girl…” She whispered, pulling you towards her. “Come here, let me give you some love...”

Gently, Marilyn cradled you in her arms. Your tears wouldn't stop coming, but it was comforting to let them go. You had been holding them back for a long time. You didn't know exactly what the reasons were, but little by little you began to feel better, feeling safe as she slowly cooed to you. The silence was broken by a soft hum.

“Mmmm, don't worry… about a thing…” She sang softly. Her voice was so soft that it made your heart beat faster. “Come on, you know the lyrics...”

“Cause…Every Little thing…Gonna be all right…” You sang with a broken voice…

You stayed that way for a moment, singing softly as you swayed.

It was hard to believe, but you felt much better. She was everything you could want. Sometimes you doubted that she was normi. She had the power to paint the grayest things in many colors, to make the sun rise in the cloudiest and stormiest sky.

“Marilyn…” You said, wiping away what was left of your tears.

“Hmm?”

“I would really like to go on vacation with you… Wherever you want…”

The redhead smiled and she kissed you on the lips, probably sensing the salty taste of your tears.

“I love you, (Y/N)…” “Me too Mari… Me too…”

[bellysoupset]

i’ve been acting delulu about the whole wen+vin fight that we all knew was coming up, kinda like completely ignoring it was a thing and all your warnings bc im #notemotionallystrong and i liked pretending it wasn’t gonna happen to cope <3333 BUT AHHHHH after this last fic IM LITERALLY FULL ON SOBBING (IN PUBLIC) WHAT THE FUCKKKK SOUP😭😭😭 you’re so mean (lovingly) 😩 FR IM SO SAD I LOVE MY BABIES SO MUCH THIS IS AWFUL BUT ALSO THE FIGHT WAS SO WELL WRITTEN😭 AND LIKE SO UPSETTING AND UNCOMFY BC OF HOW REAL IT FELT idk how to explain it but it’s like hearing my parents (aka my best friends who’ve been together forever LOL) fight LMAO sobbing 😩😩😩 and also OMG I AUDIBLY GASPED AND HAD TO LOOK AWAY WHEN I READ THE PHONE NOTIFICATIONS THING AND REALISED IT WAS LEO’S TEXT like if there was a terrible way to find out it was THIS 😭😭😭😭😭 BABY GIRL THINKING EVERYONE HAS KNOWN FOR MONTHS???? AND THEN VIN SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF???? AND JUST TALK??? (a lil too late tho buddy but also I GET IT GOSHHHH) AND THEN BOTH SOBBING GODDDD I CANT I CANT this is so devastating amazing job boo‼️

OMG AND ALSO THE OTHER FICS? i hadn’t commented on them bc i was waiting for this one to react to everything but GODDAMN????? LUKE POOR BUB all feverish spilling everything??? and their reactions🥺🥺🥺🥺 (also side note jon so worried about luke was beautiful and i enjoyed it very much🤭) and OMG leo’s guilt about not noticing the depression symptoms 😩 and the whole thing w bella and kit GOSH I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE‼️

BUT ANYWAYS GOING BACK TO MY BABIES RAAAAAHHHHH I NEED WEN AND VIN TO BE OKAY omfg IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS😭😭 you’re so good at writing angst tho like goddamn i’m still crying and will probably continue to cry about this 😩😭 they need to be okay 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ also i know you said you were nervous about luke and wen’s storyline and im SO CURIOUS and excited to read‼️ im sure whatever you choose to do with them is gonna be amazing and you know we all have a beautiful love/hate relationship w angst so i have a feeling we’re gonna eat it up!! (which we will do regardless bc your writing and storytelling is always wonderful!!!)

sending a snotty sobby virtual hug to all my babies and a strong virtual punch to kit <33333

🦦

ANSWERING THIS SO LATE THAT VIN/WENDY ARE BACK TOGETHER I'M SORRYYYY

I'm actually cackling at you acting delulu because I remember I dropped many MANY hints of the Wendy/Vince break up and you were in my inbox completely ignoring them and me thinking "damn, am i being too subtle???"

Its so funny (and terrible) to be answering this late, because I can totally say the things I was nervous about. So ORIGINALLY Vin/Wendy didnt get back together, they actually broke it off for good and Wendy feeling very isolated from her friend group relapsed in her eating disorder.

But then Wendy kinda girl bossed her way into getting back with Vince, which was not planned, AND opened up to Bella, that was also not planned at all. So I scrapped that storyline! I still want to do something with her E.D, I remember I got an ask ages ago that was something like "Wendy refuses to eat because she's feeling queasy, Vince thinks she relapsed and tries to push her, only to have it come back up and he realizes she's actually sick", so I'll probably write that! A more mild version of what I originally had in mind!

And I'm SORRY i'm a terrible person but I'm sooo proud of myself for making you cry in public. I need a blog badge just for that #angster

Love you 🦦!

[koaly-ty]

Different Princess (Episode Reacts)

Spoilers for Different Princess from episode 18 to 20. Tis what this review covers. Expect nothing and be not disappointed.

Ep 18

bestie stands disapproving of you rescuing your traitor wife (fish guy needs an award for all those exasperated frustrated im done with this looks, also a promotion to eternally disappointed in you bestie)

so much shoving

dont suck it out dont suck it out (chants frantically) please dont please please please nooo, eternally frustrated bestie why did u have to say that, u r a doctor do not make such terrible incomplete medical statements, lovesick people have very different interpretations of such matters

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (cries, not in a goood way, in a very sad utterly done with these people way)

also doctor thank you for stating that like you thought it was gonna stop him, or be retained in the memory of any of these people

now they are going to kiss feed her and fight over that (facepalm)

bro u should atleast be awake to appreciate all these tropes going on over your head (and on your neck)(he makes a nice vampire, perfect amount of agony on his face while attacking her neck)

please just end me

i cant do this

gongye qi i am so sorry for you and i respect you, i would have left the continent by now

and they have music, background music for the medicine mouth to mouth (sinking into the ground, im never coming back)

also bro u r the prettiest in the room, why didnt they give you more space for your faint, why such a cramped fall (so disappointed)

bro you need to get paid, forget brotherhood of revenge, your bestie has clearly decided to lose every single one of his braincells

what they cant share the medicine, mouth to mouth, it just all perfectly pours into the other person's mouth?

wrong word. u r a physician not a saint

bro changed his hairstyle (hello zhao yunlan)

bestie mad about it

such a im a big tough guy nice stoic pose (rolls eyes) could look a little less constipated though

oh oh fish guy reciprocates

Female lead: i will not believe these villains but of course they have explained their side of the matter and i may have misunderstood them (lies on floor, what logic is she on)

Ep 19

secretary du u have an exemplary work ethic

new robes new hairstyle bro got a full makeover

and how do u not know he is gentle? he carried you out there while running from pursuers, caught you before you could fall etc etc

he smiled!!!!! (who are you)

proud man applauding his brilliant wife's achievements (so cheesy, pauses to stave off the second hand embarrasment, does not succeed)

lady realises son is still after his bro's wife (aishh)

bestie accepts his in-law

everybody get up give this princess a standing ovation, ostrich (accurate, died laughing)

well now we have two matchmakers for her main couple

i did not just read goo-goo eyes (my eyes oh my eyes my eyes)

bury head in book why not

Ep 20

bro u wrote him, what do u mean since when do u understand each other so well

look who is jealous (smirky face)

secretary du, are u scratched, u r the assassin arent you

im dead sorry, look at him, look at that man staring so adoringly at his wife

ive passed away…………………………..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (insert more incoherent screaming) proposed, he proposed (more screaming) bro is totally on full husband mode

and here is the obligatory mid-autumn festival scene, every single drama has it huh lanterns wonder and adoring looks

sorry bro your automated script lines are not gonna reach those ears tonight

oh no that male lead is gonna confess his love to her isnt he? bro u know she's ur bro's, why do u persist so futiley

yao yao adorable as always

ah hah mid autumn festival, the holder of all the all cliche cheesy and embarrasssing romantic scenes of dramas

yao yao is the general's kid

murder bro u cant flirt and reciprocate and then suddenly have a moral dilemna, the dilemna should be before you throw yourself in

princess (give her a standing ovation), forget your brothers, u would be the best queen on the throne, she is every self-insert's dream, a pro at wrapping her man around her fingers

okay look here bro, u betrayed your murder bestie for your wife, now you who recycle your outfits has gone and gotten a new outfit to tell your bestie off for falling in love, he hasnt even betrayed you

i can give them a chance, if (insert pointy finger) u agree to marry me, admit to being my wife etc etc

bro u could have called him delusional, u could have pretended u had so many options instead u stood there like a goldfish and admitted it, then u blame him (slaps hand onto forehead)

get off my screen and flirt you terrible cringy creature, even ur servants are in on this (wriggles fingers at screen, shoo shoo)

so du has been replaced by someone else, and no one noticed? poor guy :(

[dollfaceksj]

okay clover, im finally out of work & ready to give my review/analysis. but beforrrree that, I can totally relate to that anon with being delulu & thinking yk who I am by my typing style and because I was kinda the first to start these long ass analysis💀i am humbled now bcs your inbox is flooded. BUT OKAYYY back to it ! as you may or may not know tehe im a slut for angst so I actually loved this chapter don’t kill me guys, different strokes for different folks ig .. I haveeee to compliment you on the way you write because as soon as I started reading the first few sentences, my heart sunk & I literally felt everything oc was feeling. It was so descriptive & literally just so well written! But once I realized how angry Tae was omggg was I scared for oc. I can understand the betrayal tae feels but I think he went overboard with airing her business out like that! I’m not sure if he aired both their business out like that with the intention of doing it so they break it off. I feel like he knows them both well enough to know that this could possibly end them. Both pieces of information was extremely personal and really hurtful/harmful to what they’re in the process of building. I don’t want to think tae would sink that low but in the heat of the moment, nothings off limits. I understand & sort of sympathize with Tae because when I get mad I say some pretty shitty things too (im working on it!) im not saying it’s okay AT ALL what he did, but I can understand it! I was wondering when you wrote “but Taehyung loves you. He grew up with you. He knows you like the back of his hand. You're family and there's nothing that will change that. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.” Was this her thoughts or was it Tae’s, would he actually do it all again? Because if yes :( if no :((. Also "Who do you think will get the blame when you suddenly start slacking with your grades because you're getting fucked over by some guy?" OMGG did this go everyone’s head!! Like why didn’t jk say anything?? Like i get if he would’ve said something he could’ve just made Tae blow up even more .. but like he basically said you’re gonna fuck her over & you didn’t defend yourself, you had no rebuttal.. so is it because Tae’s right??!? OMGOMGN THIS MAY BE ME JUST OVER REACTING BUT also 👀👀👀. Then he drops the whole pregnancy thing !!!!! That was shitty asf tae, that was not your business to tell! Honestly oc stronger than me because the whole situation was emotional asf & I would’ve broke down as soon as Tae raised his voice at me & looked at me with disappointment in his eyes :( I couldn’t take it :((( the timing was terrible too, oc lowkey initiated the whole going raw thing so I could understand if Jk’s view changes towards her a bit. It does look bad on oc’s part. The whole “oc’s a slut” thing is a big nono bcs it’s life shit happens. Is she irresponsible, reckless & impulsive? Yes. A slut ? No. Also I’d like to point out, we don’t know oc’s entire pov of what actually happened, only Tae’s angry spew of words. For all we know she could’ve been doing it with someone she was really in love with. Also, cumming in someone & wanting someone to cum inside you is a big kink, maybe she got carried away. She’s young okay. Let’s take it easy on her! Even though part of me is saying “oc bitch come on girl!! Twice?? & you’re still at it with your risky games? bffr!!” From Taehyungs perspective I feel like he’s being really misunderstood! What oc did is really fucked up, because yeah him & jk are close but him & her are closer! They’re practically family! He literally gave up his dream school for her, he loves & protects her! If shit goes left it’s not her thatll get yelled at, it’s him .. by BOTH sets of parents. Because he was her responsibility. If I was oc I would literally go in a depressive state bcs, now all I would think about is “does Tae hate me? Does he regret what he did for me? Am I a burden? Did I ruin his life?” Shit is just really sad :(! (Omg it got long again, hold of 1/?)

wow! im so impressed with your analysis! i really read this with a cold drink in my hand like i was reading the morning news paper lmaoooo

to answer some of your questions: 1. who thought "tae would do it all over again" it isn't either of them thinking this. it is my input as the author, it's canon and it's true to what tae would do. he would

2. i understand why you would think that about the fucking over part and why jungkook didn't defend himself, but it was more of a way if jungkook said he wasn't fucking her over or trying to, tae would be confused cause its jungkook and he's known for fucking around so he might've made the connection that they weren't just messing around but that there were romantic feelings involved and he wasn't sure how tae would take that, especially with the mia thing

3. yeah. i tried foreshadowing y/n's strict parents by her being reckless and enjoying her freedom as much as she does. you know what they say, strict parents raise sneaky children

i'll go read your other half now!

[linabirb]

👀👀👀 For the bingo, I'd like to hear your thoughts on Aki (csm just to be safe because its quite a common name haha), Makima, Isagi, Kaiser, Reo, and Mikoto.

.. OH BOY I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO HEAR SOME OF THE WORST TAKES EVER

.. i'm going to be honest. I GENUINELY FORGET AKI EXISTS SOMETIMES. like my brain just goes "uhhh remember denji and power's big bro" and im like "OH". if you remember my akutagawa bingo, i think you can see a pattern which can only be described as "i am so sorry but i just cannot make myself care about brooding dark-haired anime boys" 😭😭 (dan heng from hsr is one of the few exceptions) idk i really do think his story was sad but i'm also kinda like. i was too focused on other things when i read and watched csm JSKDSLASLSL. "what things" well.. let's talk about the next character on our list.

feel free to shoot me or stab me for this. but yes, THIS WOMAN IS ACTUALLY MY FAV CSM CHARACTER 😭 (along with kobeni and asa) i just love evil women! and i love well-written evil women! and i have so much to say about her. i genuinely love the way she was written and she's a very realistic character, but i am not a fan of how the csm fandom just. doesn't care about her character at all and cares only about her crimes and i'm not even talking about her basically destroying the whole world and killing SO MANY PEOPLE, i'm talking about her relationship with denji. which is, OF COURSE, bad and extremely toxic and unhealthy, especially considering that denji is a minor. however, i think seeing that as her only "personality trait" is so.. it just doesn't sit right with me. like i would be okay with people talking about everything she's done and analyzing it and going "yeah she's still a bad person even if she's well-written and deep" but i am NOT okay with people going "yeah she's a groomer and also she killed my faves :(" like. i don't know. if you don't want to interact with such "problematic" content just don't read it? though i'm gonna be honest i'm pretty sure most csm fans are very young and from what i heard, a lot of them haven't even read/watched any "dark" content before csm. me picking "they are innocent if u ignore their various crimes" is obv a joke, i definitely agree that makima is a terrible person, but also. i can't deny that she's pretty <3 and also the fact that she just needed a hug breaks my heart every time i think about it. i actually have a plushie of her too! one of the best purchases i've ever made, she stares at me with her big ol' yellow eyes and i do everything she says. thank you for motivating me to do my hw, queen.

but enough talking about my faves. honestly.. i don't really care about isagi? which actually makes me very sad bc i found him very relatable at first but then i kinda got bored? like i can't even describe his personality, i can only say "uhhh he's friendly with other guys unless he's playing football and also. uh. he likes football"? and ig that can also be very fun and i'm usually a huge fan of characters that usually act nice but also have a very rude and mean side, but isagi is just. idk, i don't really find him that interesting and those moments when he's like, busy analyzing everything and coming up with strategies.. honestly, i just skipped them JSDKSLSLS. I WANTED MORE ACTION OKAY. i think his relationship with bachira is cute though!

BACK TO MY FAVES. i would bite kaiser's head off if i ever got the chance but he's also one of my fav characters. yeah. he's so cool, i love his design sm, i need to look like him. i want to get into his head and figure out what's wrong with him. i want to squeeze him and crush him and tear him apart, but i also love him so much. tbh i don't know anything about the new chapters, but i'd love to learn more about him, it's like, at the same time, i want him to have a backstory that's a little bit (or maybe VERY) sad, but i also kinda want him to be like that just bc he can (even though i'm pretty sure it was implied that he does have a reason for acting like that). and yes, i love his relationship dynamic with ness. yeah.

reo. another fave of mine. though i actually didn't like him that much when i first saw him, but. i knew deep down that a purple boy will become one of my faves. love this gay disaster of a man, everything that happened between him and nagi was more entertaining than every single romance movie that i've ever watched. i want him to get better and realize that he's capable of doing great things without him. i also want him to become even more dependent on him for angst reasons. it's hard. and i honestly both love and hate that moment when he decides to return to nagi right after he finally started to get some character development, because YES I WANT HIM TO GROW AND I WANT HIS PERSONALITY TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN "if i spend at least one day w/o nagi i will die", but also it's very realistic and as someone who was in MULTIPLE (platonic) relationships that were exactly like his relationship with nagi.. that moment was very painful. in a good way. and again, i wanna look like him.

my relationship with mikoto is very hard to explain bc it's like. in theory, i'd love to learn more about him. i'd love to stan him. but also.. i'm not a fan of how the fandom pretty much makes his DID his only personality trait? maybe i'm just on the wrong side of the fandom, but i rarely see any posts about his other traits? again, i'd love to learn more bc i have a feeling that we have a lot in common, but. but yeah. i'm a huge fan of his minigram version though <3 so silly. so squishy. so funny. (honestly, me being salty that almost all convos about mikoto usually discuss his DID is so funny to me now that after three therapy sessions i've found out that i'm most likely a system SJHSJDKDLSL like bro THAT IS YOU) about "i would push them down the stairs" i mean it in a silly playful way :) like i want him to fall down and scream in a very cartoony and funny way.