#this is so nice i love the quotes you chose??

[captainfantasticalright]

In 1985, one of the only persons interested in an interview with a “new” writer called Terry Pratchett, after his publication of the Colour of Magic, was one Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman was writing for Space Voyager at the time. "The Colour of Pratchett" was the name given here:

It ran exactly one page inside the June/July issue of that year. The interview took place in a Chinese restaurant in London.

Here is Neil many years later holding that issue. You can see it here if you want. Warning: extremely emotional video.

Neil arrived wearing a grey homburg hat. “Sort of like the ones Humphrey Bogart wears in movies” he later wrote. (Before saying that in fact he did not look like him, but like someone wearing a grown-up’s hat). Terry Pratchett, photo courtesy of one @neil-gaiman, was in a Lenin-style leather cap and a harlequin-patterned pullover. At this point, Terry was already a hat person, although not that hat.

Terry offered Neil this : "An interview needn't last more than 15 minutes. A good quote for the beginning, a good quote for the end, and the rest you make up back at the office"*. (Terry Pratchett had worked many years in journalism by this point ).

But the meeting went terribly well. The two of them realized they had "the same sort of brains". So well indeed, that in 1985, Neil had shown Terry a file containing 5282 words, exploring a scenario in which Richmal Crompton's William Brown had somehow become the Antichrist. Was a collaboration in the cards as of that moment? Not really. But Terry found in Neil someone to whom he could send disks of work in progress and to whom he could pick up the phone sometimes when he hit a brick in the road of his writing.

Terry loved it and the concept stayed in his mind. A couple of years later, he rang Neil to ask him if he had done any more work on it. Neil had been busy with The Sandman, he had not really given it another thought. Terry said, "Well I know what happens next, so either you sell me the idea or we can write it together". **

On collaborating together:

Here is a video of Sir Terry saying why he chose to collaborate with Neil, another video talking about the technical difficulties of writing a book when the two of them where miles apart ,and some pages from Interzone Magazine Issue 207 published December 2006:

An Interview with Sir Terry Pratchett and his works- and Neil Gaiman, where he shortly addresses the process of writing Good Omens.

Terry shortly mentions,

“Neil doesn't rule out another book with me and he was good to write with...yep, it could happen. With anyone else? I don't know, but probably not.?”

Neil says,

"Terry took that initial 5,000 words of mine and ran it through the computer (because I’d lost the files in a computer crash) and made it the first 10,000 words, and it was definitely Good Omens at that point. Neither one thing nor the other, but a third thing.”

"I think Terry could do a very good impersonation of me if he needed to, and I could do a very good impersonation of him; so we knew the area of the Venn diagram in which we were working. But mostly the book found its own voice very quickly. It helped that we were both scarred by the William books when we were kids...”

And as you know, unless you’ve been living in Alpha Centauri, the rest is history. That was the beginning of what would become William the Antichrist and later would get the name Good Omens:The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. (Title provided by Neil Gaiman and subtitle by Terry Pratchett).

More about the writing process:

Terry took the first 5,000 words and typed them into his word processor, and by the time he had finished they were the first 10,000 words. Terry had borrowed all the things about me that he thought were amusing, like my tendency back then to wear sunglasses even when it wasn't sunny, and given them, along with a vintage Bentley, to Crawleigh, who had now become Crowley. The Satanic Nurses were Satanic Nuns.

The book was under way.

We wrote the first draft in about nine weeks. Nine weeks of gloriously long phone calls, in which we would read each other what we'd written, and try to make the other one laugh. We'd plot, delightedly, and then hurry off the phone, determined to get to the next good bit before the other one could. We'd rewrite each other, footnote each other's pages, sometimes even footnote each other's footnotes. We would throw characters in, hand them off when we got stuck. We finished the book and decided we would only tell people a little about the writing process - we would tell them that Agnes Nutter was Terry's, and the Four Horsemen (and the Other Four Motorcyclists) were mine.

From the introduction to William the Antichrist:

“In the summer of 1987 several odd ideas came together: (..)I found myself imagining a book called William the Antichrist, in which a hapless demon was going to be responsible for swapping the wrong baby over, and the son of the US Ambassador would be completely undemonic, while William Brown would grow up to be the Antichrist, and the demon would need to stop him ending the world. The unfortunate demon, whom I called Crawleigh, because Crawley was a nearby town with an unfortunate name, would have to sort it all out as best he could.

It felt like a story with legs.

Terry took the 5,000 words, and rewrote them, calling me to tell me what he was doing and what he was planning to do. The biggest thing he was going to do, he told me, was split the hapless demon into two characters – a would-be-cool demon in dark glasses (which was, I think, Terry’s way of making fun of me, a never-actually- cool journalist in dark glasses) who had renamed himself Crowley, and a rare-book dealer and angel called Aziraphale, who would embody all the English awkwardness that either of us could conceive.”

William the Antichrist being a direct inspiration of the 1976 film The Omen. If the baby swap had just been a little bit messier and the kid had gone off somewhere else he would have grown up as somebody else. “And then there was a beat and I thought, I should write it, it will be called William the Antichrist” says Neil. ***

“The first draft of Good Omens was a William-book. It was absolutely in every way it could be a William book. It had Violet Elizabeth Bott, it had William and the Outlaws, it had Mr. Brown”.

Over time they realized that they would have more creative freedom if they in their own words filed off the serial numbers. William and the Outlaws becoming Adam and the Them.

But the spirit of Just William was never far away.

The joy for Neil was to construct “perfectly William sentences”. The one when Anathema tells Adam that she has lost the Book, and he tells her that he has written a book about a pirate who became a famous detective and it is 8 pages long… that’s “a William sentence”.

If you want to read more details about William The Antichrist, here are some slides I made.

Good Omens was also inspired by a particularly antisemitic moment in The Jew of Malta and John le Carre's spy novels. (Neil’s ask)

 Then I was reading The Jew of Malta by Kit Marlowe, and it has a bit where the three (cartoonishly evil) Jews compare notes on all the well-poisoning and suchlike they’d done that day, and as a Jew who never quite gets his act together, it occurred to me that if I were the third Jew I’d just be apologizing for having failed to poison a well… And suddenly I had the opening of a book. It would be called William the Antichrist. And it would begin with three Demons in a graveyard… (x).

“When we finished the book we estimated that the words were 60% Terry’s and 40% mine, and the plot, such as it was, was entirely ours.” -Neil Gaiman

"Neil and I had known each other since early 1985. Doing it was our idea, not a publisher's deal." "I think this is an honest account of the process of writing Good Omens. It was fairly easy to keep track of because of the way we sent discs to one another, and because I was Keeper of the Official Master Copy I can say that I wrote a bit over two thirds of Good Omens. However, we were on the phone to each other every day, at least once. If you have an idea during a brainstorming session with another guy, whose idea is it? One guy goes and writes 2,000 words after thirty minutes on the phone, what exactly is the process that's happening? I did most of the physical writing because: 1) I had to. Neil had to keep Sandman going -- I could take time off from the DW; 2) One person has to be overall editor, and do all the stitching and filling and slicing and, as I've said before, it was me by agreement -- if it had been a graphic novel, it would have been Neil taking the chair for exactly the same reasons it was me for a novel; 3) I'm a selfish bastard and tried to write ahead to get to the good bits before Neil. Initially, I did most of Adam and the Them and Neil did most of the Four Horsemen, and everything else kind of got done by whoever -- by the end, large sections were being done by a composite creature called Terryandneil, whoever was actually hitting the keys. By agreement, I am allowed to say that Agnes Nutter, her life and death, was completely and utterly mine. And Neil proudly claims responsibility for the maggots. Neil's had a major influence on the opening scenes, me on the ending. In the end, it was this book done by two guys, who shared the money equally and did it for fun and wouldn't do it again for a big clock." "Yes, the maggot reversal was by me, with a gun to Neil's head (although he understood the reasons, it's just that he likes maggots). There couldn't be blood on Adam's hands, even blood spilled by third parties. No-one should die because he was alive." -("Terry Pratchett : His World”)

(Here are some slides of mine where I go into some other details concerning the origins of Good Omens).

Another wonderful insight with Rob Wilkins in "The Worlds of Terry Pratchett".

*Quote: from Terry Pratchett A Life With Footnotes by Rob Wilkins, but said by Terry of course.

** All the quotes, facts listed here : see above.

***all other quotes by Neil Gaiman from various interviews and asks I’ll link.

[reidswhre]

could you write something about this? rossi having a teenage daughter who is just as smart as spencer, and them meeting each other and discovering the similarity, is something different but i think it could be fun to read! 🫶🏻

spencer reid x fem!rossi!reader

warnings: nothing, pure fluff

a/n: this is so cute omg thx for sending it! btw i didn’t realize it said “teenage” until now i’m so sorry 😭☹️ i hope that doesn’t bother you too much, she’s spencer’s age!

Rossi had invited everyone to dinner at his house. It was something “simple.” In quotes because, come on, for Rossi nothing was simple.

“Come in, if you break something, I’ll tell Hotch to cut half of your salary.” He gave a fake smile as he let them in.

“Aww, you’re so kind.” Emily returned the fake smile, which made everyone laugh.

“Take a seat, how about some wine?” Rossi offered, and everyone graciously accepted.

Except Spencer. “No, thanks— I don’t drink alcohol.”

“Of course you don’t, kid.” Rossi rolled his eyes. “What would you like? Orange juice? Fruit puree?” Rossi teased him.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Spencer smiled a little.

“Dad, do you know where the library is—” You came down the stairs quickly before noticing the team in the living room. “Oh— Hello.” You lowered your voice, a bit shy.

“Hey you, I forgot to mention it.”

“You definitely did.” You said, shrinking into your spot.

“Look, this is my work team.” He pointed to each person as they greeted you. “And this is my daughter.” He introduced you by name to the team.

“Nice to meet you.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m going to… head upstairs. Excuse me.”

“Are you kidding? Stay.” Your dad encouraged you.

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“Don’t say that, sweetie. You’d never be a bother.” Garcia spoke up.

“And if it does bother them, they can leave, it’s my house.” Rossi joked, and everyone laughed a bit.

“It’s fine, really,” Hotch said.

“Okay, thank you.” You finished coming down the stairs, a bit nervous.

Now, you weren’t thaaaat shy (just a little), but come on, it was your dad’s entire work team. How could you not be?

“I didn’t know you lived with your daughter.” Morgan smiled, taking a sip of his wine.

“I don’t, she’s visiting.” Rossi gave you a look to encourage some small talk.

“I live in England, I’m in university.”

“Oh, where?” Spencer asked, intrigued.

“Oxford.” You smiled shyly.

Morgan whistled. “That’s fancy.”

“It’s not as grand as it sounds.” You shook your head.

“Oxford, along with Cambridge, is the elite of education in England. One of the two always appears in the top rankings of the country, as well as the list of the ten best universities in the world.” Spencer looked at you. “I think it is as grand as it sounds.”

You narrowed your eyes a bit at his response.

Spencer, the genius of the BAU, you knew a little about him.

Your dad used to talk about him and said you two would probably get along, but he said that about everyone, so you didn’t pay it much attention.

“Cambridge is better than Oxford.”

“Depends on the field.” He replied.

“No, it doesn’t. In general statistics, it’s better.”

“You can’t rely on general statistics.”

“Said the profiler.”

Everyone chuckled at your little exchange, which made you smile a bit.

From then on, everyone started their own conversations, and you noticed Spencer sitting there, staring at his glass of water.

“Anyway, I chose Oxford for a reason, so you’re not completely wrong.” You sat next to him.

“You got into Cambridge?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Mhm.” You nodded. “Want me to be honest?”

“Of course.” He looked at you intently.

“Maybe the fact that Oxford looks like Hogwarts influenced my decision a bit.”

Spencer laughed. “That’s fair.”

“And you? Where did you go? I’ve heard you have several PhDs.”

“I went to the MIT.” He smiled nervously.

“That sounds amazing.”

“Not as amazing as yours.” He looked at you.

“Sure, yours wasn’t run by Dumbledore.” You joked.

“You really like it, huh?”

“Are you kidding? I love it! It’s my favorite series.” You got excited talking about Harry Potter.

“I’m more of a Star Wars fan.” You grimaced at that. “What’s wrong? You don’t like it?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I’ve never seen them,” you admitted.

Spencer’s eyes widened. “No way!”

“Seriously! They just don’t appeal to me, sorry.” You apologized through laughter.

“Well, what else do you like then?”

“Hmm.” You looked at the ceiling, thinking. “I like magic.”

“Really? I love magic.” Spencer smiled.

“Yeah? What can you do?” You playfully challenged him with a smile.

“Uhhh.” He looked around, searching for something to show you.

“Nothing?” You smiled.

“I guess not…” He shrugged. “Unless…” He made a small gesture for you to check behind your ear.

You gave him a confused look and reached behind your ear like he did. You pulled out a little piece of paper.

You gasped in surprise. “How did you do that?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Come on! That’s amazing!”

“Nope, sorry.”

“Aww.” You pouted.

“Thank you all so much.” You heard someone behind you saying goodbye.

“Oh—I think I have to go.” Spencer stood up from his seat.

“Yes, of course—” You stood up as well to say goodbye to the others.

A little later, after everyone had left, you were helping your dad clean the kitchen while he was tidying up the living room.

“What’s this?” He asked, showing you the little piece of paper you had pulled from behind your ear earlier.

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s just a magic trick. You can throw it away.” You laughed while washing the glasses.

“Are you sure?” He said, walking over to you. “It has a number.”

“What!?” You dropped the glasses in the sink and quickly dried your hands. “Let me see!” You rushed over to your dad and snatched the paper from him.

“That kid was trying to hit on you?” He rolled his eyes while looking at you.

“Oh my God, yes!” You smiled, excited.

Then you remembered your dad worked with him, and your smile dropped.

“I mean— maybe, probably not— it doesn’t matter.” You shrugged and casually slipped the paper into the back pocket of your pants.

“Sure, it doesn’t.” He narrowed his eyes and started heading up the stairs. “Remind him you live 7,588 kilometers away!” He shouted from afar.

You smiled a little and gave a small jump of excitement in the quiet of your living room.

[bubblergoespop]

My Top David Quotes

i need this man to hold me while i cry

“Oops.”

“If I gave Milo less than a full month to plan out his outfit, I’m sure he’d kick my ass. If he could reach it.”

“This is omega shit, I’m not built for this.”

“Oh god they’re gonna pet me, oh fuck I didn’t think about that. I’m not some house dog I don’t need— [melts at angel petting him]”

“Is my Angel mad at me?”

“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

“If I’m not good enough then go find someone who is, see if I care. No. You know what, no fuck that. I do care. I love you.”

“What? He doesn’t even drink tea, he drinks coffee what are you talking about?”

“Your words carry weight with me, no matter how much or how little you talk.”

“I will not participate in your little gossip session. I am the pack alpha, I have to be above that kind of shit… but yes Amanda and Christian are definitely fucking and yes it is definitely going to get very awkward.”

“No I won’t be able to talk, I become a fucking wolf. I can only make wolf noises..”

“I know I can be rough and nasty. […] But I just need you to know that, no matter what, I have never regretted being with you for a second. I’m proud to call you my mate.”

“He would have loved you, you know. You would have made him laugh.”

“Alpha privileges.”

“You make him happier than I’ve ever seen him before. And he deserves that. So thank you. For taking care of him. [Asher singing in background] Is he…? Oh god, never mind. He doesn’t deserve anything.”

“That phrase is perfectly common, shut up. But… keep talking. Because I like your voice, you snot, and I missed hearing it.”

“You cannot tell when I need something… who am I fucking kidding? Yes you can.”

“I want to fuck you into this bed so hard that the frame breaks underneath us, and then fuck you into the floor even harder.”

“I love my pack but there isn’t a half decent cook in the entire group. [if you listen very closely you can hear Milo’s feral growling in the background]”

“No, I don’t like it when you hold me. Or when you nuzzle my neck. [proceeds to whimper]”

“Those sounds are for me.”

“There’s not much in this world I’d get on my knees for. But for you—always.”

“Where's the troublemaker? Out looking for a bear to fight one on one or something?”

“You’re one of my best friends, Milo. You’re family. And I’m very grateful for you.”

“You hold my heart in your hands, Angel.”

“God, you’re as bad as Ash. Sorry, don’t let me rob you of credit. You’re much worse. I love you too.”

“After all, who am I to say no to my Angel?”

“What am I gonna do with you?”

“Sappy. Yes you are. You’re my sappy, sentimental thief.”

“[scoff] You missed.”

“When I’m with you, I’m not an Alpha. I’m not a friend, I’m not a competitor, I’m… I’m David. And I thought I’d lost him a long time ago.”

“Tell me you didn’t just call that Pokemon ‘Daddy’.”

“Drive safe.”

“I want it to be whatever you want it to be.”

“Breathe. Relax into it. I’ve got you. It’s almost all the way in..”

“Tearing through clothes is fucking hot.”

“And to think, some people believe you’re nice. I like bite. And history says you do too.”

“It was worth every sleepless night. You are worth everything, angel.”

“I’m yours.”

“You’ve always had a way of being a ray of sunshine in my life, whatever the source of the darkness might be, whether that’s stuff from the outside, or stuff from inside of me.”

“Only if you do…”

“I don’t know if I should kill them or marry them.” (he chose marry them)

“You shouldn't be facing this alone. You're family. You're one of us. We love you.”

“We’ve got five minutes before the food gets here, we’ve done more with less.”

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader Two

F1IQ - Part One

Y/n: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before i slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Max: Are you threatening me??

Y/n: No, I'm hitting on you, flash me a titty bitch.

Lewis: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.

Y/n: Oh what's that?

Lewis: The N-Word

Y/n looking at toto: Look at your dad. Such a dork, keeping bees.

Y/n: I mean atleast it's interesting though. At least like, i wish my dad kept bees.

Y/n: I mean it's kind of cute. Like, your dad keeps bees.

Y/n: How old is your dad? He's obviously beekeeping age. I dont know. I think It's kind of sweet.

Y/n: George, i wanna fuck your dad.

George: Oh really?

Yuki: Hey can i sit with you?

Y/n: Why

Yuki looking at stroll and ocon: The kids at the other table keep throwing ketchup packets at me.

Y/n: You're not covered in ketchup, though

Yuki: They don't know you have to open it first

Y/n: Damn. We need remedial bullying class too.

Yuki: So how do you like your remedial english?

Y/n: I guess it's whatever. My mom was really pissed, though.

Yuki: Yeah? What about your dad?

Y/n: My dad killed himself.

Charles: I'm finally seeing someone good for me.

Alex: Omg who is it?

Charles: A therapist

Y/n: max is pissing me off *20 minutes ago*

Y/n: nvm just got dicked down

George: Girl what..

Fernando: Every time i talk to you i feel confused.

Fernando: I've never met anyone that speaks like you do

Y/n: Stop lovebombing me

Fernando: what? It's not a compliment

Fernando: You scare me

Y/n: What are you hiding from me?

Zhou: Nothing..

Y/n: Zhou Guanyu.

Zhou pulls out a cat: The cat distribution system chose me okay

Y/n at drive to survive: If he cheats on you, put hair remover in his shampoo, you wanna act like Andrew tate, u gon look like him too.

Lewis wearing a beanie: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Toto: That's your fault. Being too quick signing your seat with ferrari

Oscar: Are you high?

Lando: Am i what?

Oscar: High

Lando: Hello

Christian: So what could a Mercedes principal possibly have then?

Y/n: I just feel like he'd be into satan-worship, or at the very least have a sex diary.

Christian: A toto wolff sex diary would be horrifying. He's like our rival.

Y/n: We say that about Stephen king books, we still read those.

Daniel: "Dear diary, hot candle wax hurts so good"

Christian: No it'd probably be like a thesaurus of words for "Good"

Daniel: Yeah he probably sexts with perfect grammar.

Y/n: "My wife showed an exquisite exhibition of lust for me."

Toto: Let me try something different here. Do you guys have thoughts and feelings for one another?

Y/n: Uhh i think George's kinda spoiled

George: And i feel like y/n's a bitch

Y/n: What're you gay?

Alex: What.. How did you know? I've never told anyone that.

Y/n: Dude look at your hair dye, you're either gay or color blind.

Lance: bro stop chanting in dead language's your scaring the hoes

Y/n: Bitch you is so lonely I'm summoning the hoes

Sebastian: You used to be shy, now you're a whore

Y/n: There's a thing called character development

Oscar: Reminder that I'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me

Carlos: or what

Oscar: or I'll punch your lights out

Hey yall this is a bit short cause I'm finna make a random crack twitter posts n I'll post it in the most random day. I love yall baby💋

[nevernonline]

✧.* must love dogs; csc one shot.

✧.* synopsis: after a breakup (three years ago) your friend finally attempts to get you back on the saddle by creating you a dating profile despite your protesting, hooking you up on dates with some of the eligible bachelors of their choice, none of which impressed you. until one day you met the boy with the dog.

part of my seventeen movie series.

paring: seungcheol x reader (y/n uses she/her pronouns.)

genre/s: fluff, strangers2lovers

warning/s: alcohol mentions, swearing, cigarette mentions, swearing, some pg-13 jokes.

word count: 3.7k

note: im notorious atp for not editing, pls. I hope you enjoy my lil must love dogs inspired fic, its one of my fav movies!! xo.

“So how was bachelor number five?” 

With a roll of your eyes, you gazed at your friend Seungkwan resting his feet on top of your shared glass coffee table, ticking the tip of the city guide book and magazines rested on top. 

“Boring. He was nice or whatever, good looking, but he wouldn’t shut up about league of legends and his job. Other than that he asked me no questions about myself or what I do. A failure as most would call it.” 

“So I take it you wouldn’t want to go out with him again?” 

“God, whatever gave you that impression? I thought you could tell we were headed for marriage?” 

“Hey. I’m doing you a very nice thing, you don’t have to be so sarcastic about it.” 

“Look, I know. But just because Jun is getting married and I still haven’t moved on doesn’t mean I need to be dating all of the sudden.” 

The boy patted the seat next to him. Scooching over from his spot, making room for you on the couch. 

“ It’s been nearly three years since you ended it with him. At least fuck someone before you dry up.” 

“That’s fucking gross and what vibrators are for.” 

A small scream left your friend's mouth as he covered his ears trying to remove what he had just heard coming out of your mouth. 

“Y/n his wedding is in two months, we need to find someone to bring that’s not me. You don’t want to feel the embarrassment of his pity party and everyone feeling sorry for you.” 

“Why can’t you just be my date?” 

“Too obvious. Plus your whole family will be there, just do it or you know your parents will be in your case again. This ‘ secret man’ you’ve been seeing doesn’t exist and I think your Mom is starting to catch on.” 

He was right. Your parents come from a high status, as do your ex boyfriends, they were the reason you both had met and became friends in the first place. But, when your relationship ended you lied to them, it was working well until you got a call from your very upset mother telling you Jun showed up to your house with his family and a girl on his arm that wasn’t you. 

“Okay, then why can’t I choose my own date?” 

“The men you chose to quote on quote date are literally disturbing, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Like that one dude you brought here last time? Whatever the fuck his name was literally was wearing a necklace vial of his own blood and claimed drinking your own urine and reusing water is the only way we can save the planet.” 

“Okay, but he was nice.” 

“He literally didn’t flush the toilet because he only went number one. That’s fucked, no.” 

“Can I at least, like at the very least have some approval over the men you match me with then?” 

“Maybe.” 

“ Kwanie, please. Come on, don’t make me use the what goes around card, it’s my turn” 

“No, it's absolutely my turn.” 

“Not true, you wasted it two months ago when I had to bail you out of that strange house party orgy thing by saying your dog died and coming in crying to a bunch of naked strangers. You owe me.” 

“Valid.” 

“How did you not realize what that party was anyway?” 

“This is not currently about my life failures, but yours my beautiful friend.” 

Laughing at Seungkwan's major mishap, you forgot to greet your dog, Lucky. She was waiting and crying at your feet, finally waking up from her sweet slumber to greet you. 

“Hello my baby, do we have to go outside?” 

“She went for a walk this afternoon, but after her dinner she crashed so she probably wants a walk. I can go if you want to change or shower.” 

“No it’s alright, I can take her, you're already in your pj’s and after my date I need a distress, want anything from the mart?” 

“Ice cream?” 

With a small nod you jumped up, taking the small curly creature in your arms and grabbing her harness before heading back outside into the warm spring air. 

Ten minutes into your evening stroll, you decided to sit on the green wooden bench overlooking the water, the same bench your grandmother always spoke about when you asked her the same story about how she and your grandfather got engaged. The gold plaque with their names rubbing off sitting behind your back. 

Suddenly you heard a man yelling from behind you, running through the green grass lit up with fluorescent lights. 

“Hey, Kkuma, no come back.” 

A small white dog came up behind Lucky sniffing her and starting to play, you noticed her cute hairclip and ran your hands through her fur. 

“God, I’m sorry. She normally doesn’t run off like that.” 

“It’s okay my dog lov-“ 

As you turned around to look into the round eyes of the owner, you were stunned with how beautiful he was. 

His dark hair pushed under a cap, a white t-shirt too big for his frame sitting beautifully in his toned shoulders, and his red sweatpants matching his shoes. 

The unfamiliar man was bending down now petting your precious pet and his own at the same time talking to them in sweet baby voices. 

“This is Kkuma by the way, and you are?” 

“Y/N” 

“Hi y/n, you’re so cute, you and kkuma can be best friends if your mom lets you.”

You let out a roaring laugh realizing he thought you had introduced your pet and not yourself.

“Oh sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s just I’m y/n this is Lucky sorry my fault.” 

“Oh god, cool. Sorry Lucky, I’m Seungcheol. You can call me Cheol and this is Kkuma.” 

“Nice to meet you Cheol and Kkuma.” 

“You too. Look I know I just met you and all, but I’m new to the area. I was wondering if you’d want to get coffee and let the girls hangout sometime?” 

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Let me give you my number.” 

Seungcheol handed you his cell phone with a new contact page pulled up giving you full reign to type your name and number into his list. 

Handing the device back to him your fingers touched, creating an electric shock, to not like you to believe in signs, but for some reason it felt like the universe trying to tell you something. 

“Thank you, I’ve actually got to get going, but if you're free tomorrow would you want to grab coffee and hangout at the dog park?” 

“Yeah, totally. Just text me a time, we can just meet here. What kind of coffee do you drink? There’s a good spot by my apartment. I can just pick it up for us.” 

“Wow, that’s so nice of you. Just a black americano is cool or a cold brew whichever.”

“No fun I see.”

“How would you know that? Just because I don’t like sugary drinks doesn’t mean I can’t have fun.” 

“I don’t know, we will see.” 

“We will. I’ll catch you tomorrow girls.” 

“Nice to meet you.” 

“You too!” 

Seungcheol left the same way he came running through the grass with Kkuma on his heels, following him all the way back to their home. 

Strolling back down the pathway back to your apartment, you could help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you knew nothing about the man you just met other than his name and his cute dog, but there was a lot of unknown. 

Smiling like a Cheshire Cat, you unlocked the front door and watched Lucky sprint back into Seungkwan lounging on the couch, eating for the ice cream you had forgotten. 

“Where’s the snacks? Also why are you smiling like an idiot you’re freaking me out.” 

“We met a guy with his dog, a very cute guy might I add, who actually asked for my number and wants to get coffee tomorrow.” 

“ What the fuck, it’s late tell me he doesn’t live in the park?” 

“No he said he just moved to the area, he was clearly not a park dweller he had keys, and smelt amazing actually.”

“Smelling strangers? A new low even for you”

“Oh my god, fuck off.” 

Seungkwan pulled his phone out and opened various social media apps preparing himself for best friend stalking duties. 

“What’s his name?”

“Seungcheol, not sure about his last name, but he goes by Cheol and his dog was Kkuma.” 

“Great.. okay, found him I assume?”

“What the fuck, how? Let me see.”

“Eager aren’t we?”

“Fuck off?” 

Grabbing Seungkwan's phone from his grip, you scroll quickly through the new faces' social media.

“Yeah, it’s him.” 

“Okay, let me see. Wait, he's actually hot AND seems to have his own business?” 

“Oh my god.”

“Here, look” 

After the next few hours, you and your friend stumble on into your separate rooms preparing yourself for slumber, which never seems to reach you and before you know it dawn is creeping its way through your curtains, and your backup preparing yourself for a day with you and Lucky's new friends. 

Something about your energy was excitable and nearing frantic, you could wait to step outside into the fresh air with your pocket sized princess at your side, but it was still early. 

You had decided on pampering yourself for this morning, finding the need to make yourself up, you spread on your skin care with glee, drew perfect lines of eyeliner and strained your hair, pulling it up into a nice tight ponytail the hair tie matching the taupe tone of your sweat suit perfectly.  Before you knew it it was 9:45 a perfect time for you and Lucky to step outside the door. 

Placing her in her tote bag, you stepped inside of your favorite coffee shop, the light pink walls covered in photos and paintings, the smell of the espresso seemed sweeter. 

“Morning, y/n you look beautiful today. Would you like the usual?”

“Thank you, for me, yes. But can I also get a large americano, just black and he didn’t tell me iced or hot, so iced is good I think? Or maybe hot with a cup of ice on the side? If that’s okay?” 

“He? Did you finally start dating someone?” 

“Oh no, just a friend of mine. Seungkwan told you shit about me didn’t he?” 

“Yes. Sorry.”  

“No worries, can I actually get two of the plain croissants and two of the flower dog cookies too?” 

“No problem, it’ll be right out.” 

“Thank you.” 

Taking a seat next to the pick up counter you scrolled through the instagram of the boy you’re meant to be meeting, telling yourself it’s just to remember his face, but really it was to get a peek into what else he’s into or if he was single. 

“Y/N” 

“Oh shit, sorry. Thank you guys, see you tomorrow.” 

Picking up the paper coffee carrier and pastry bag, you waved goodbye to the baristas and briskly walked back to the bench you were at yesterday, your bench, spotting the back of Seungcheol’s head watching the water with his dog. 

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” 

“Oh, no problem. I just got here.” 

Placing your items down on the bench, you freed her bag and greeted Kkuma alongside her before taking your seat. 

“Here’s your coffee, I wasn’t sure if you wanted hot or iced so I got you a cup of ice too just in case, a croissant, and a little treat for your girl too.” 

“Wow thank you so much, hot is fine actually. How are you?” 

“Good, nervous. I mean it’s not every day you meet a stranger for coffee.” 

Seungcheol laughed, tipping his head back slightly before taking a bite of his pastry. 

“Sorry. I know it’s weird, you just seemed like someone I wanted to get to know, and Kkuma liked you so I figured you’re good people.” 

“Well, thank you. You too. Lucky generally does not like men other than my friend Seungkwan, my dad, and my ex-boyfriend so consider yourself special.”

“I do.”

“So what brought you to this neighborhood? Work, a relationship?”

“No relationship, but actually my business partner is from here. We decided to open our warehouse and stuff here because it’s much better than doing it in the city. We have a spirit company and we’re planning on opening a brewery and bar, so that’s why I’ve been working late nights. I guess it served me well, I made a friend on my first day.”

“You’ve only been here for a full day? What the hell? You already know the best spot in town. What kind of stuff do you guys make?”

“Beer and soju mainly, we’ve been working on it for five years now and are finally at a spot to open up and start selling it to people, which is cool. But what about you? What do you do?” 

“I’m a medical student actually, my parents are both doctors, I used to really want to be one too, but I don’t know, I don’t really have the same passion for it as I used to.”

“Well what would you do if you had the choice?”

“I always wanted to design stuff for dogs, start a rescue, anything like that. I got so happy seeing Kkuma as an accessory girl.”

“Yeah, she’s very stylish. I think you should go for it, you know? Why waste time becoming something for someone else and risk being unhappy just for their sake?”

“Honestly I wouldn’t even know how to start a business on my own, let alone tell my parents.”

“Hey, I didn’t either and look where it’s gotten me.”

You turned back to the water, staring into the calm blue waters, trying not to go into your own head. 

“You’re oddly inspiring, I’ll give you that much.”

“Thank you, y/n. You’re oddly sassy, I’ll give you that.”

“Shut up, I’m not.”

“You already tried to clock me by saying I’m no fun because I drink black coffee and you said oddly inspiring like a back handed compliment. You definitely are, but I like it. 

“Good.”

You had continued your twice weekly hangouts with Kkuma and her dad for two weeks now, getting excited whenever the days roll around to see the two of them again, but you haven’t hung out once without them around, which made you wonder if your friendship or crush rather on this boy was only due to your dogs being friends themselves. 

Seungkwan tried setting you up on more and more dates with more and more duds, he was starting to lose hope himself, knowing that the one person he could set you up with was Seungcheol but he didn’t want to overstep. 

Strolling home from another failed connection, you decide to stop and have a beer before going home to give the dirty details to Seungkwan about who you had just met. 

Pulling open the tab of one of your drinks from your six pack, you took a deep breath and sat down, feeling your eyes welling up with tears. 

Another can opened as you went to take the first sip. A hand comes on your shoulders, whispering a boo in your ears. 

“What the fuck!” 

Jumping up from your seat the hand on your shoulder belonged to Seungcheol, the look in his eyes went from happy to concerned as he saw the small streaks of tears on your cheeks, you top now dribbled with spots of beer. 

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Want a beer?”

“Sure, thanks. I’m sorry I scared you, I thought you heard me behind you.”

“It’s alright, I was in my own world anyway. You look nice, where are you headed?”

“Soft opening for my bar actually, I texted you, but I figured you didn’t respond because you were busy.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I would’ve loved to come. I was a bit preoccupied on an awful fucking date.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse.”

“Well the good news is you technically didn’t miss it, it doesn’t start for another twenty minutes and you’re dressed very nice. It worked out. 

“Fuck I wish I paid more attention, I could’ve got you some flowers or something.”

“Next time. Will your roommate be alright taking care of Lucky?”

“Yeah of course, he knew I would be out tonight. I’ll text him just to be sure.”

“Cheers to hanging out without our kids?”

“Definitely.”

With that suddenly your awful night and doubts about your relationship with the raven haired boy went out the window. 

“Shall we?”

“We shall.” 

Seungcheol lent his arm out for you to wrap your own around, and you both stayed out that way for a few moments, before discarding your cans and walking the way to his new venture. 

“Here it is, you ready?”

“When you told me you were opening this up I thought you hadn’t even started? But it looks like it’s fully ready.” 

“Ah, well we had planned to wait a bit, but we’re getting too antsy, so here we are.”

“It’s beautiful, holy shit.” 

“Thanks, sit here, I’ll be right back.”

You took a seat on the green leather booth, looking around and taking in the ambiance of the custom lighting and ribbon like wallpaper, when a blonde gentleman walked over sitting down across from you. 

“Y/n? Right?”

“Yeah, nice to meet you…”

“Jeonghan, I’m Cheol’s business partner.”

“Jeonghan, right. Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot.”

“Likewise, you’re so much prettier than Cheol let on actually.”

“Oh?”

Without a chance to interrogate the new face further Seungcheol walked back over to your table, setting down a few bottles of various spirits for you to try, including a couple of cocktails. 

“He didn’t scare you too much did he?”

“Not at all, he was just telling me actually how much prettier I am than you alluded to.”

“Jeonghan, don’t do that to her, come on. You know very well I told you she was pretty, I even showed you her instagram, you agreed.”

“I know, I just wanted to make you tell her yourself and my job is done, see you around y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.”

As Jeonghan left the table you felt your cheeks growing with heat, unsure if it was the alcohol or the fact that Seungcheols friend made him confess he thought you were good looking. 

“Sorry about him, he’s a menace.”

“No need to be sorry, I have my own menace at home and I don’t mean my dog.”

Seungcheol laughed, pouring you a shot of his very own soju to taste, filling with anticipation hoping you enjoy the drink he’s serving you, looking for your approval became a big part of his mind lately. 

Lifting your glass up to his and clinking them together, the liquor poured down the back of your throat filling your mouth with sweetness and warmth. 

“Holy shit.”

“Good holy shit or bad holy shit?”

“No, very good. That’s actually delicious. It’s so clean and fresh.”

“That makes me so happy to hear.”

“I’m happy you’re happy.”

“Okay, beer next. This is just a standard sour, some lime and sea salt, sort of beach vibes.” 

“Sounds amazing, okay.”

Tipping your head back you sipped at the foamy top of the glass, savoring the flavors in your mouth. 

“I hate you so much.”

“What? Why?”

“Seungcheol, you're way too humble when you talk about your business, this shit is amazing. I said I hate you because I’m going to crave this shit and I’ll have to see you all the time.” 

“I thought you liked seeing me all the time?”

“You’re okay.”

“I have to say it’s cool to be here with you without the dogs, not that they distract too much, but they definitely take away giving you my full attention.”

“I mean how could they not, they’re cute as fuck,”

“So are you.”

“Wow, two drinks in Cheol and you’re already calling me cute? I wonder what else you’ll say the more you drink?"

“Technically we’re four drinks in, but I guess I remember the time I spent with you more than you do. Did those drinks on the bench mean nothing to you?”

“Oh fuck, I did forget. I guess technically I’m five drinks in then, catch up, bitch.”

You and Seungcheol spent the rest of the night being greeted by his friends, most of them already assuming who you were, letting you know that Seungcheol talks about you more than you realized. 

Feeling your blood alcohol content rising, you decided to take a step outside and refresh. 

The bell of the door opened up behind you, putting you face to face with his cherry lips once again, watching them light up a hand rolled cigarette to his lips. 

“Doing okay?”

“Yeah, just wanted to step out for a second. Are you good?”

“Very. Want a cig?”

“No, I’m good for now. Ask me again later.” 

“So will there be a later? You’re not ditching me now?”

“I’d never do that.”

“So, y/n does this maybe get me a chance to take you on a date? I’m kind of drunk so I’m feeling oddly bold.” 

“Is this not sort of a date?”

“I was hoping you thought so. Is that a yes?”

“Absolutely. I thought you’d never ask.”

“Before we go on our date though, y/n. I have one final question?” 

“Yes?” 

“Do you still think I’m boring?” 

“A little.” 

Seungcheol grabbed your waist and spun you around, causing his perfectly rolled tobacco to fall on the sidewalk. 

Blissfully you were giggling and laughing under the red led lights of his bar. 

“Take it back.” 

“Nope.” 

“Please.” 

You looked into his puppy dog eyes and did something out of your comfort zone. Wrapped your hands loosely around his neck, placing a deepened kiss onto his lips. 

His mouth tasted of cigarettes and salt with a hint of vanilla from the lip balm he always had on him. 

“Is that a good ‘sorry I called you boring’ kiss?” 

“It’ll do for now.” 

“Good. They’ll be more where that came from.” 

“Promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” 

You and Seungcheol unwrap from each other, finding Jeonghan standing and  cheering in the window watching the two of you. 

“Can’t believe I got a hot date and a sister for Kkuma all in one.” 

“You lucky dog.” 

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Love Scenes of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

So this is my third time posting this list. It was flagged twice despite my labeling it and switching gifs around and my appeals to unflag it were denied. That isn't going to stop me from talking about the love scenes I loved, however, so rather than risk another flag, I'm simply going to link the posts I had originally chosen gifs from and tag their lovely creators.

I would love to include visual aids, but alas. Support our gifmakers, babes. They're out here fighting for their lives for us.

Now then! Some sex scenes exist to tell you something about a character, some exist to tell you something about a relationship, some exist to advance a narrative, and some exist simply for their own sake, but all of them have a place and a right to exist in queer media.

These are many of my favorites and they run the gamut, so strap in IT'S DEGENERATE HOURS!

♡ Mahasamut Solo Shower Scene (Love Sea)

The gif I chose was from this set by @babybison

The way Tongrak is looking at Mahasamut as he jacks off in the shower is exactly how I looked at him the entire show. This was such a delightful surprise, and not only because I was blessed with Fort's bare ass on my screen.

I love masturbation scenes and I've included all the ones we were given this year on this list. I love them because I love seeing desire and genuine horniness and pleasure depicted in dramas. It's human. It's real. It makes me happy.

Mahasamut doing something about the blue balls Tongrak gave him when he pumped the brakes to go write leads nicely into...

♡ Tongrak x Mahsamut Post-Shower Scene (Love Sea)

The gif I chose was from this set by @laurenkmyers

Love Sea episode 2, how you blessed us. You gave us that incredible shower makeout. You gave us Tongrak's little case filled with condoms and lube and toys. You gave us reverse cowgirl. Blessings upon blessings upon blessings.

♡ Yu x Ai First Time Scene (I Saw You in My Dream)

The gif I chose was from this set by @putterphubase

I'm gonna go ahead and quote myself from three months ago after I saw this scene, because Yu and Ai's first time is everything I love:

The horniness is mutual all around, everyone is checking in with each other before things get going, they're checking in with each other while things are going, consent is being asked for and given, boundaries are being respected, and the sex is giggly and joyful and loving.

♡ X x Namping Mirror Scene (Every You, Every Me)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

X feeling up Namping in front of the mirror may just be one of, if not the sexiest scene we got all year. It was so intimate. So perfectly erotic and sensual. I sincerely hope whoever put Top in that shirt gets whatever they want in this life.

Regrettably unable to be pictured for photo limit reasons: the absolutely beautiful expressions on their faces as they look at their reflections

♡ Shan x Ob-aun Blindfold Scene (Battle of the Writers)

The gif I chose was from this set by @alienwlw

You can fault this show for a lot of things and you would be absolutely right about all of them, but every single love scene was fantastic. The shot I was most anticipating from this particular one didn't make the final cut but this scene was still gorgeous.

Ob-aun baring his shoulders as he looks at Shan? Riding him like his life depends on it? The blindfold? Incredible. I loved it.

♡ Ming x Joe Face to Face Scene (My Stand-In)

The gif I chose was from this set by @jimmysea

This scene is significant not only because it's the first time that Ming and Joe are face to face, but because Ming stops Joe from rolling over to make sure that they are face to face. This isn't about needing a stand-in or a fantasy, this is about Ming needing and wanting Joe and only Joe, which is what makes it so good and so special.

♡ Yuan x Qian First Time Scene (Unknown)

The gif I chose was from this set by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

You don't even know what I dream of at night. You don't even know what I dream of at night. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DREAM OF AT NIGHT.

*screams into my shirt*

♡ Wayu x Jao Hideout Scene (Two Worlds)

The gif I chose was from this set by @thisautistic

If there was ever a scene that made me yell "FUCKING FINALLY!" at my screen, it was this one, and it was worth every single minute that I had to wait to get it.

The camera work? Stunning. The rich warm lighting and the shadows? Gorgeous. The chemistry? Everything I dreamed of.

♡ Hiro Solo Shower Scene (Love is Better the Second Time Around)

The gif I chose was from this set by @musicdramalove

You know what I love about Hiro asking Takashi if he'd ever thought of him while he jacked off? The fact that asking that question implied that Hiro had done that himself. You know what I love even more?

That we got to see it happen.

♡ Korn x Tonkla Couch Scene (4 Minutes)

The gif I chose was from this set by @jimmysea

This scene, and really all the sex scenes in 4 Minutes, are the perfect example of sex being used by a narrative to tell you something about a character and a relationship.

It was more than a great scene and a welcome surprise of a pairing; we learned so much about the dynamic between Tonkla and Korn on this couch and who they were as individuals and to each other.

♡ Ken x Seiji x Pan Daydream Scene (Deep Night)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

Bless Khem for being the one to plant the seed of polyamory in Pan's brain because the moment Pan realized that that was an option, we got this amazing scene from the theatre of his mind. It cemented his attraction to Ken and opened the doors to eventual canon poly.

♡ Anin x Pin Punishment Scene (The Loyal Pin)

The gif I chose was from this set by @dragonsareawesome123

Has there ever been a more enjoyable punishment? Has anyone ever looked more beautiful than Pin did while she was punishing Anin? Is it any wonder that Anin was so excited at the prospect of it happening again?

♡ Achi x Ji "It's Art" Scene (To Be Continued)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

The tension. The intimacy and the careful exploration of someone you love when you realize that the exploration is an option and is desired. The way things just broke between them after they let themselves have this.

It really is art.

♡ Almond x Latte First Time Scene (Knock Knock Boys)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

Oh, but I loved everything about Almond and Latte's first time. I loved the awkwardness and the leg cramps and the struggle to find a comfortable position and the many, many false starts. There are a lot of love scenes in BL and on this list that are perfect and graceful and smooth but this one?

This is real and it's a mess, and it's so endearing and funny and I love it so much. Almond's strawberry boxers you will always be famous.

♡ Ozone x Pie Robe Scene (Battle of the Writers)

The gif I chose was from this set by @diaospuppy

It's Pie undoing Ozone's robe with his teeth for me. It's the expression on Pie's face while Ozone rides him. It's the fact that I had to wait an absolute age for these two to get together.

WHY WEREN'T OZONE AND PIE THE MAIN COUPLE? WHY COULDN'T I GET TEN MORE OF THESE SCENES?

♡ Takashi x Hiro "It Pisses Me Off" Scene (Love is Better the Second Time Around)

The gif I chose was from this set by @itagakimizuki

The sheen of sweat. The sheen of sweat and the way it catches the light on both of them has not left my mind since this aired. It may piss Hiro off that Takashi is as good in bed as Hiro thought and dreamed he might be but he's definitely glad he's finally getting to enjoy it. This is how you made a second chance count.

♡ Atom Sad Boy Hours Solo Scene (The Rebound)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

Poor Atom. He was a good boy and he liked Zen so much but it just wasn't in the cards for them and he knew it. All he could do was get himself off to photos and memories of Zen being kind to him and existing and look very pretty and sad while he did it.

♡ Tongrak x Mahasamut "Dessert" Scene (Love Sea)

The gif I chose was from this set by @crispywizardtale

I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Taemin's Guilty MV when they saw this, right? Because that MV and this scene have become inextricably linked in my mind. I can't think of one without thinking of the other and feeling so grateful that both exist.

Man, am I glad that they left that dinner early.

♡ Great x Tyme Great's Reimagined First Time Scene (4 Minutes)

The gif I chose was from this set by @spicyvampire

We did not yet realize the significance of this scene when we were gifted it. Great's 4 minutes softened the edges of his first time with Tyme and turned it into something gentle and intimate and loving when his actual first time with Tyme was the exact opposite.

It was a beautiful scene and going back to rewatch it with the knowledge that none of it was real adds such an undercurrent of sadness to it.

♡ Tai x Kram Cave Scene (Two Worlds)

The gif I chose was from this set by @laurenkmyers

The shift in Kram's eyes from artist to lover as he drew Tai nude lives in my mind rent free. It was so subtle and the scene it led to was so sensual and beautiful. One of MaxNat's best. Art as foreplay is something we deserve to see in dramas more often.

♡ Oab x Plawan "I Can Teach You" Scene (This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans)

The gif I chose was from this set by @thisautistic

Sailub and Pon know how to bring the heat. Any one of their scenes throughout this show could've been on this list but THIS SHOT FROM THIS KITCHEN SCENE WAS TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR ME TO PICK ANY OTHER.

♡ Almond New Toy Solo Scene (Knock Knock Boys)

The gif I chose was from this set by @pharawee

I love love LOVE how this show handled Almond's virginity. It wasn't his singular defining trait, it did not inform every single thing about his character, it was just a fact about him. AS IT SHOULD BE!

So to see him be allowed to be curious and proactive and excited about exploring sex and masturbation was an unparalleled delight. Unparalleled. One of my very favorite things to happen this year.

♡ Arashi x Rei First Time Scene (Love in the Air Koi)

The gif I chose was from this set by @divineandmajesticinone

I never had any doubts that the Japanese adaption of LITA would bring the heat but loooooord have mercy. That shot of Arashi's sweaty muscular back just about did me in. I thought I was prepared but I super was not.

♡ Anin x Pin Car Scene (The Loyal Pin)

The gif I chose was from this set by @boyslovegirlslove

There is simply not a force on this earth that can keep Anin away from Pin. I said it in my kiss post and I'm saying it again here.

Absolutely nothing could keep Anin from whisking Pin away to her car right under Kuea's nose and reminding her who she belonged to in front of god and everyone with only foggy rainy windows for cover.

♡ Huaien x Xiaobao Heartbeat Scene (Meet You at The Blossom)

The gif I chose was from this set by @guzhufuren

Was this shot of Huaien and Xiaobao's hands the prettiest shot of 2024? I think it just might be. Everything about this scene was pretty. The hands, Huaien's chest moles, the dreamy besotted expressions.

Xiaobao bit off so much more than he could chew with Huaien and I enjoyed watching every single minute of it.

♡ Fadel Mental Theater Solo Scene (The Heart Killers)

The gif I chose was from this set by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Bless the theater of your mind, Fadel. Genuinely truly. He may tell himself that Style is annoying and that he just wants him to go away and he may even believe it, but here in the privacy of his bedroom he simply cannot deny his attraction. Instead he indulges it and lets himself fantasize and for that I am grateful.

♡ God x Diew Tent Scene (Monster Next Door)

The gif I chose was from this set by @thisautistic

It began with some quick research into the best way to have sex in a tent and then it hit us with the blinding light of love and served the exact same energy as the YuAi scene from earlier in this list. It was so perfectly sweet and soft. God did not do a thing until he made sure that Diew was ready and wanted to be intimate and took care of his boyfriend the whole way through.

♡ Jack x Joke First Time Scene (Jack & Joker)

The gif I chose was from this set by @thisautistic

A HORNY, HUNGRY EXPLOSION. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THIS SCENE WAS. These two wanted each other so fucking badly and they waited so damn long to finally give in to each other.

Forget grandma, people in Chiang Mai probably heard these two going at it for hours on end.

♡ Haruki x Jin Vacation Scene (Our Youth)

The gif I chose was from this set by @forcebook

Whoever lit this scene deserves to get whatever they want forever. All the light is on them and the bed and those shadows just keep shifting because even in this little circle of peace that they've allowed themselves, there are reminders of the darkness that's waiting in the wings.

But in that circle of light there are soft kisses and gentle, exploring hands and more desire than either of them know what to do with.

♡ Fadel x Style "I'll Be Your 100%" Scene (The Heart Killers)

The gif I chose was from this set by @thisautistic

A very, VERY late entry into this list but I simply couldn't not include it because Style was out here taking control and overwhelming this stoic broody man in absolutely the best way. They're both so gone for each other. SO gone. Style may be scared of Fadel but he's already in love with him and Fadel can think Style is as annoying as he likes but that annoying man makes him feel safe and loved.

[king-crawler]

HEY HI HELLO

Sorry for the random message here In the asks, it's ok if you don't see this or answer it since you probably got a lot already and I understand if you don't see this!/gen

But first of all, I just wanna say

I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT WATCHED YOUR ANALYSIS VIDEO SOONER IM SO FUCKING LATE MAN

It's so well done and so fucking funny, I was literally smiling and cackling through the whole thing, it's shocking how similar our humor is

NOT TO MENTION THE END SCENE AREE YOU KIDDING HOW DID YOU MATCH THE LYRICS SO PERFECTLY TO THE FUCKING LORE ITS INCREDIBLE 😭💜/GEN, POS

It's insane how much dedication is put into it, let alone singlehandedly feeding turbo fans as myself

Genuinely thought it's so nice seeing more content for a hyperfixation I've had since 2012, and the fandom coming back along with this video Genuinely brings me so much joy as someone who's loved this movie since I was a kid

Sorry for the ramble but genuinely thank you for making that video, I can't wait to see what other stuff you do, wreck it ralph or not I WILL be tuning in/gen, pos

Okay second of all

The main reason why I'm sending this is because of sometning I noticed while rewatching a scene in the movie

Now, this might be me over analyzing as I usually do but it feels TOO. OBVIOUS.

SO

IN the kart bakery scene where vanellope and ralph go to bake a kart, they obviously make their way into the building and into the main room

You see all the Karts of course, and It pans to the one vanellope chooses

Which, at first glance you wouldn't really pay too much attention, especially when watching it for the first time, she's just picking the model she likes

..but looking back at the scene

Vanellope's kart model, how it was supposed to look, looks very

Familiar

Because the kart she chose..

...is a red and white kart

With stripes down the middle, with a very similar shape to a..certain persons kart. Now this might just be nothing, it's probably just like I said, and over analysis on my part

But the kart the chose looks WAY too similar to turbo's, not to mention the stripe is down the middle, just like turbo's car on the cabinet art of him

And vanellope could've chosen ANY kart

But it was that specific kart she chose, out of any of the karts

Not to mention in some of vanellope's concept art...

(Art made by Lorelay Bove)

..Vanellope's concept design and turbos designs strike SCARILY uncanny resemblances to each others designs

From the helmet and colors

All the way down to her GOGGLES having the SAME. YELLOW. TINT. that candy's have in the movie, which have the same effect here. There's no way that this didn't have the intent to mirror turbo purposefully

So with that in mind, the kart vanellope chose in the kart bakery scene being turbo foreshadowing, wouldn't be too out of place, nor would it be too far off

Turbo's foreshadowing was always prominent, even in the smallest details you wouldn't focus on, just like he's infecting this world as a virus, little by little, everywhere. You. Turn.

Aaaand that's basically all I have to really say

Sorry for the long ramble, I've been thinking of submitting this for awhile now, especially after I told a friend about this and they mentioned that this should be submitted to you

So I decided to go ahead and just do it, no matter how wild my comparisons might sound-

Anyways, I hope you have a good day, night, or what time it may be, and keep being awesome! I can't wait to hear back if you see this! Bye-bye! ❤️🏎🏆

P.s

I've been quoting these since I watched the video and haven't stopped

Thanks for destroying my humor even more-/pos

Okay bye bye now-

-skitters away-

NO YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT OH MY GOD VANELLOPE WAS ALWAYS A TURBO PARALLEL??? CHAT IS THIS TRUE. IVE NEVER SEEN THAT CONCEPT ART OF HER TEEHEE THANKS FOR SHARING

also God. This is 99% just a coincidence with zero merit because its such a common gesture- but Ralph and Vanellope doing their thumbs up.. maybe Turbo parallels ?? and like the EXACT same poses too:

Vanellope having one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing a thumbs up while facing the camera.

Ralph hunched over doing the double thumbs up with the visor tinting his face yellow. EXCUSE ME HMMM?? WHAT THE FUCK??

NOW COULD I BE CHERRY PICKING? PERHAPS. but when Turbo has barely a minute of screentime, there's not a lot i can pick from, and things SURE ARE LINING UP... (I'm cherry picking)

SO SHHHHHH... ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LET ME HAVE MY LITTLE CONSPIRASCY

[snghnlvr]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. / sim jaeyun

sim jaeyun x fem reader!

read part two here <3

synopsis : who knew there was something behind your relationship with the infamous smart guy at school? you had questions as to why jake likes you and chose you to be his girlfriend out of all people. soon, you found out the truth: by a bet.

includes : 1.5k | cursing (internally) | again with the one sided relationship sigh | i’m a SUCKER for angst so.. | jake is a loser and i would end myself if this happened irl | y/n you’re too nice :((

extra: olivia rodrigo is my mom , if i was y/n i would’ve slapped the shit out of jake but let’s not get too physical here eh?? :] , i haven’t seen much jake angst (because he’s the most loving human ever??? he would NEVER ever do something like this) so here i am… :D

likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

“thanks for making me get $100, babe”

you look up from your seat to see your boyfriend, jake holding a $100 bill between his index and middle fingers. he sent you a wink which already made you blush like crazy but then you slowly processed the words.

what?

“what?” your expression dropped. you looked at jake, waiting for a response for what he meant.

“i said,” he planted his two hands in front of his desk, staring down at you with his beautiful eyes of his. you stared back with nothing but confusion in your eyes.

“thanks for letting me have $100 sweet cheeks.” jake’s lips curved up. he slowly leaned towards your cheeks, pecking them before proudly looking down at his cash.

that little nickname he gave you made your hearts do back flips as usual.

you stood still before replying, “what do you mean? you used me?”

you’ve liked jake ever since he was in the school’s soccer team since sophomore year. he’s popular for his smartness, his godly visuals, his amazing personality of his that steals the hearts of girls, and his talents.

your introverted personality of yours didn’t dare to make a move on jake. you were undoubtedly shy and didn’t like social interaction very much. all of the girls were in line to ask him out and directly confess their love to him, but you didn’t. you weren’t in line, you were just observing him from the side, mentally noting what he likes, didn’t like, what topics he likes to talk about and many more.

the only proof that you like him was through a little post it note you had on your desk before leaving to go to cafeteria.

sim jaeyun <3

was all you’ve written in pink in your yellow post it note. you haven’t told anyone, even your closest friend for you would be afraid of the public teasing that would soon eventually let the whole school know you like jake.

five months, he suddenly asked you out because he thought you were the “most beautiful girl i had ever laid eyes on but was scared to make a move”, quoted by sim jake himself.

at first you didn’t question it as to why he randomly asked you out.

you remember that day, you were blushing like crazy, heart almost ripping out of your rib cage, and you had all sorts of scenarios and activities both you and jake can do because both of you are in a relationship.

well, were in a relationship.

“yeah.” your thoughts were interrupted when jake responded with a heartless tone. “i admit that you were cute when you bought me gifts, but either than that,

i’ve never liked you.” his tone was monotonous.

is that why i reminded him of my birthday? is that why i reminded him of our monthsavrie? when my classes end? is that why i was the first to everything? good morning texts?

thinking about your past memories where you felt the most happy with jake,

was all just an act. just for the damn $100 dollars.

jake being the first one to hold your hand whenever both of you met, even if it’s a minute in the hallways or meeting after school ended, him being the first to notice you shivering and toss you his hoodie even if he was cold, him volunteering to help you study your subjects even if it’s 2am, him wiping your lips with his soft fingers from eating ice cream, him listening to your rants and sobs whenever your parents fight late at night, and always looking at you with nothing but love and admiration you believed,

all an act?

you lowered your head, trying to contain your proper breathing and trying not let your tears fall down. you exhaled, closing your eyes.

“who asked you?”

jake’s face slightly clenched when seeing your eyes filled with rage yet tears threatening to spill out. “who asked you for the bet?” you asked once again but with a firm tone. you didn’t break eye contact. you were thinking of his friends he always hung out with, park sunghoon, yang jungwon, lee heeseung, and many more but you felt like these people - your best friends as well - would never hurt you like that.

instead of being sad and running away, you’re staring at your ex boyfriend with bitterness. the loving stare you’ve had towards jake was rather replaced as if he’s your enemy. yeah, you’ve been backstabbed.

“does it matter?” jake tilted his head, shrugging it off. “what matters is i got my money.” he flicked his bill right in front of your face, his tongue peaking when he mockingly smiled at you.

you glanced at the dollar and then back at jake.

“did i mean nothing to you?” you asked, your thoughts suddenly spilling from your lips. “was our relationship nothing to you?” a tear spilled out of your eyes. seconds later, multiple of them were easily sliding down your cheeks.

you stood up from your seat, looking directly into jake’s emotionless eyes. “did you have fun playing with my feelings? did you enjoy taking my likeness towards you as an advantage? were your friends having fun hyping us up whenever we were around them? did you at least have some fucking sympathy for me!?”

after screaming, you looked down. you were going crazy. literally.

“god, y/n calm down. you’re embarrassing me, lower your volume.” jake crinkled his nose, eyes wandering around to see if there was anyone near the both of you.

despite not looking at him, you can hear the annoyance in his tone and the rolling of his eyes whenever you guys argue. he would call you “overdramatic.”

“fine.” you gulped before looking at him. you imagined yourself as a crying mess. it’s like every argument you had, jake would not cry, but you were.

you had to contain yourself to not let your emotions overwhelm you, but it’s hard right now.

you just got used for money.

“i hope that $100 dollar bill reminds you how much of a shitty person you are.” you grabbed your book bag and ran for your life.

out of that suffocating room.

i can’t believe it, you thought.

he’s a bitch he’s a bitch why is he a bitch!? why did he choose me!? why did he hurt me? i did nothing but .. love him and be there for him.. what did i do to get treated like this??

your chest hurts like shit, you can’t breathe, you can’t think properly, all you wanna do is to hide forever and never face jake the following monday at school. you wanted to go anywhere. anywhere but be in a room with him, sim jaeyun.

god, love is fucking embarrassing as hell.

-

YEAHHH jake angst drabble🕺 idk how to feel this one as i can’t imagine jake doing such a thing :(( but we need a change don’t we ? i hope you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading!! ❣️

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Good Omens meeting in Prague 31.5. - 2.6.2024

Thank you so much @cliopadra and others for making this weekend such a joyful experience! 🥰

31.5. Friday

I've travelled from Brno to Prague by train with three other czech GO fans I hadn't met before but we booked 4 seats around the same table so we could had a nice chat on the way to Prague. I've learned that Brno is too damn small since there is a university faculty and people connecting us all. :D <3

The meeting at the evening meeting all others (there was cca 40 of us) was at Andělský Pivovar restaurant in Prague (which could be translated as Angel Brewery :)) I was absolutely ngked by the wonderful bags cliopadra made us with a 'feather pen', their stickers and a small black booklet which each had a different front (with quotes and motives from Good Omens), I chose To The World :) 😊 and also and further during the weekend I got more gifts from fellow fans, NGK, thank you!

1.6. Saturday

We were supposed to have a picnic this day on Petřín (a hill in Prague) but some demon was messing too much with the rainy weather so we had an indoor picnic :). There was so much food since everybody brought something! :D <3 I wish I had bigger stomach to try it all :D. The wings gingerbread were amazing and I felt like at Christmas :) <3.

2.6. Sunday

We had a walk through the Prague centre themed about angels and demons and the final lunch. The funniest moment was when we went to St. Nicolaus church and I am admiring the frescos and ceiling and I hear laughing so I look at my right and our cosplay Crowley is surreptitiously hopping on one leg. All of us started laughing so rather we left the church :D <3.

During the weekend we also send the black booklets clio gave us around so people could leave a message. These are in mine. Also I asked Clio to draw me Izzy from OFMD which they did absolutely perfectly, I am in love with it! (thank you Clio! :) <3) (I asked if they can doodle me Izzy and they asked, 'What is your favourite ship?' and I said, 'Just Izzy and happiness.' :D <3)

I am still half ded and my social battery is empty but it was wonderful to meet all of you! ❤🥰

[carlottawllms]

Homesick

Mason Mount x Reader Angst / Fluff

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it. I might've shed a tear or two, so buckle up :)

Enjoy <3 And as always, feedback is very much appreciated!

That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.

It was a quote you’d never quite understood. It had just never made sense to you. After all, there were meds for literally everything. Why would you have to feel the pain then?

When you’d told your mum that, she’d just sighed and brushed through your hair. “At one point it will sadly make sense, honey. I hope for you that it won’t, but it’s life.”, she’d said and dropped a kiss to your head.

As you’d grown older, you’d forgotten about that quote altogether. With genuine and close friends, a loving family and a happy relationship of four years, you’d never experienced any sorts of pain. Surely, you’d seen friends going through break-ups and hurting from them, but you’d never realised how bad it really was.  

Not until you had to go through it all yourself.

*

You hummed to the faint music coming from the radio, swaying along whilst preparing dinner for you and Mase. Since you were still in the process of going from interview to interview to find the perfect job, you had the luxury of being home before him and getting everything ready for a nice dinner and a relaxed evening on the sofa.

After a few chaotic first weeks, the both of you had finally found a house you were both happy with and slowly but surely, the feeling of utter happiness and content seeped into you. Compared to Mason, it had been a little more difficult for you to leave it all behind and start over new, but it was mainly because you were still in the process of meeting people and warming up to all the other girlfriends and wives, whilst he’d known many of his teammates before.

“Hi baby.”, you smiled brightly when Mason stepped into the kitchen, expecting him to come up to you for a hug and a kiss, but the second you caught the serious look on his face, your smile dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“I erm…y/n I think we need to talk.” His voice was quiet and the second he couldn’t even look you in the eyes anymore but instead dropped his gaze to the floor, your heart sank in your chest.

“What’s going on, Mase? Has something happened?”

You turned the stove off and followed him into the living room. He’d already flopped down onto the armchair, hands running over his face before he dropped them into his lap.

“There’s no nice way to do this and I don’t really know how to tell you, but y/n this between us-“

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“y/n-“

“Please don’t.”, you whispered as the ugly knowledge of what was about to come made you feel sick to your stomach. There was a lump forming in the back of your throat as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest in pure and utter fear. “Mase, you can’t-“

“I never wanted it to turn out this way, I promise.”, he mumbled and you watched how his eyes filled with tears. “All of this is so new and overwhelming, and I don’t feel like I can…I can…I don’t even know, but I can’t do this right now. Everyone expects so much from me, like there’s this new club and manager and I need time to settle and-“

"Mase-" You were feeling hot all over. “You knew this all along, didn’t you?”, you whispered quietly, the tears now rolling down your cheeks as you could feel your heart slowly breaking in your chest. “You knew it would be a lot and that you’d need space and I’d be in the way. You could’ve told me you didn’t want me to come, and it would’ve saved me a lot of tears and pain and goodbyes.”

“No, it’s not that, I…I’m so, so sorry, y/n.”

“Then why? Why Mason? I thought we were happy. We chose this house together and…and…we talked about the future, OUR future…I thought you wanted me here and do all of this together, but apparently, I got it all wrong.”

“No, y/n I-“

“Did you even mean anything you said? Or was it all lies?”, you couldn’t help but get angry at him and the way he didn’t explain anything and instead just repeated the word sorry like a broken record with tears rolling down his cheeks as if he was the one getting broken up with. “Because I meant every single I love you. I meant it when I said I want to grow old with you and only you. But very obviously we’ve never been on the same page.”

“That’s not true.”, he sobbed, and you hated yourself for how much the sight of him like that hurt you.

“If it wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be doing this right now.”, you sniffed as you tried to hold yourself together as best as you could whilst all you wanted to do was to break down and cry.

“y/n, I do love you, I promise you. It’s…I’m in this weird headspace and-“

“Don’t, Mason. Please don’t.”, you cried. “Don’t tell me you love me because if you really did, you wouldn’t break up with me now. I just…I-“

“I’m so, so sorry, y/n. You have to believe me that-“

But you couldn’t do it anymore. With tears cascading down your cheeks, you turned on your heels and ran upstairs. The photos on the walls practically mocking you with happy memories of your relationship.  There you were, smiling and laughing happily in each other’s arms, him kissing your cheek…

You knew them all by heart as you’d carefully chosen them and when you passed the last one – the one where he held your chin between his fingers and kissed your lips – you wiped it off the wall, watched it fall to the laminate flooring and shatter into million tiny pieces.

A painful match to what had just happened to your relationship.

*

You’d called Ben that same evening. Sobbing down the phone, you’d tried to tell him that Mase had broken up with you and that you couldn’t stay in Manchester any longer. Ben had tried his best to calm you down and get you to talk to his best friend in the morning, but when you’d woken up and Mason was nowhere to be found, you’d packed the most important stuff, booked yourself a train ticket and made your way back to London.

Ben had left training early and picked you up at the station. He’d taken you in and made sure that you were somewhat okay, but the pain rippling through you with every breath you took was worse than you’d ever experienced.

And that’s when you finally understood. That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt. The pain of realising that you never meant as much to the person who meant the world to you couldn’t be cured by some pathetic painkillers. That kind of pain struck its roots deep inside of you and was resistant to everything.

For days you’d stayed in bed, doing nothing but crying your little broken heart out, whilst Ben had done his best to help you through it all. He’d cuddled you until you’d eventually fallen asleep the first nights when you couldn't bear to be alone, tried to get you to eat although you hadn’t felt like it and whilst you’d hated every second of it, he’d dragged you out of bed and watched the shittiest shows on tv with you to stop your brain from running riot all the time.

After about three weeks, you’d taken up your friends’ offer of sharing a flat she’d found in Cobham. It had been difficult, getting yourself out there again, but you’d known it was necessary to stop yourself from spiralling.

However, up until today, half a year later, many of these everyday things were still incredibly difficult to tackle.

Mason had been by your side for the majority of your life; first as a friend and then later as your boyfriend of four years and because it had always been the expectation of you and him staying together until you were old and grey, you’d never prepared yourself for a life after him.

And the life after him was cruel.

The mornings and evenings were the worst. You’d sadly gotten used to it by now, but waking up in an empty bed still felt wrong. It made you miss his warmth and clinginess and the way he’d always woken you up with tiny kisses travelling from your neck over your cheeks until he could kiss you lips, that little bit more. And in the evenings, he’d always made sure to tell you he loved you and kissed you good night before wrapping you up in his strong arms, making you feel all safe.

The days were a little easier to conquer as usually the people around were a good distraction. With the job in the bakery near where you lived, you could afford the rent for your shared flat as well as the grocery shopping that was your responsibility every other week, but even that reminded you painfully of your ex.

Going grocery shopping had been one of your favourite chores to do. Usually, Mason had trailed along, caging you in between his warm body and the cart as the two of you had made your way around the shop, getting everything, you needed.

Some of your friends had started to drag you along to gatherings and parties a little while ago and whilst you understood and appreciated their efforts, the fact that they all either had boyfriends or were engaged already, didn’t necessarily help with your heartbreak.

But you still joined them and tried your best to get back into life as quickly as possible. Not only because it was important to find your footing again, but especially because you felt a little humiliated by the fact that you were still struggling, whilst Mason was going on with his life as if nothing had happened.

It pained you and you couldn’t explain why you did it, but you still followed his every move. It was a pretty self-destructive habit, but your stupid brain made you feel as if you had to know everything he was doing. Even if it was just to find that tiny little indication that he was missing you too. But no matter where you looked, you couldn’t find any.

He looked sharp on the pitch, didn’t struggle with fitting in and off the pitch he was seen with his friends, teammates and on top of that he was linked to a girl, you’d never heard of before. His life looked normal, as if you’d never been part of it, as if you not being there anymore didn’t hurt him at all.  

But Mason wasn’t okay. He tried to make others believe he was, but truth was, he was hurting just as much as you. He was missing you like crazy and the only reason he left the bed in the morning was the responsibility his job brought. And apart from that, it was mostly Luke who dragged him along to after-match-dinners, post-training-gatherings and whatnot, to ensure he didn’t fall down the rabbit hole, but most of the time, Mason just felt lost.

It was his fault; he was well aware of it. He’d caused this misery, but back then it had seemed that he’d had to make a choice. And whilst he’d thought it had been the right choice, it was very obvious now that it really hadn’t.  

You’d been his everything. The person who’d helped him through the very bad times, who’d held his hand and got him back up on his feet whenever he’d been pushed down. You’d always made sure to tell him how proud you were and how amazing he was doing; you’d made sure he’d known his worth whenever he’d felt like he was a failure.

You’d been the sunshine in his life, the reason for his smile and entire happiness. You’d been his person.

Well and then…he’d fucked it all up. He’d broken your heart, sent you away and left you both in a pile of broken pieces of what once had been a happy and loving relationship.

And whilst Mason already felt like shit, not knowing how you were holding up was worse. The image of your tearstained, flushed cheeks, your face contorted in disbelief and pain, was engraved into his mind and the fact that he’d caused it was the reason for his sleepless nights.

He didn’t know if you were doing somewhat okay or not. Your Instagram had gone all dead; no posts or stories that would give him a clue of what was happening in your life – not that he was still entitled to know after sending you away like that, but a small part of him needed to know how you were doing – and Ben wasn’t a big help either.

After some desperate begging and pleading, Ben had at least told him that you were safe and living with him and whilst it had eased his worries a little, the idea of you living with his best friend had him feeling a little weird.

Technically he knew that Ben would never go for his best friends’ ex and on top of that he had no right to even feel the way he did anyway since he was the one who’d ended things with you, but that green eyed monster had made itself a home in Mason’s body and kept inserting jealousy into his veins.

*-

“No, I swear it was funnier with you here, Mr. Prankster.”, Reece laughed.

Mason was on facetime with some of his old teammates who, after their own training session had just wanted to catch up with him and see how he was doing up North. He fed them the same lies as his family and friends, telling them how everything was going great and that now he’d found a house, he could finally settle in properly.

What he didn’t tell them was that he felt incredibly lonely. Home wasn’t a place; it had always been a feeling to him and that feeling only ever arose when he was with you. You had been his home, the place he felt safe and where he could be himself. And now that you weren’t by his side anymore, he felt lost.

Mason knew he had no right to feel sorry for himself, but he couldn’t help it. Hundreds of times he’d thought of driving down to London to talk to you and win you back, but every time he’d intended to, the image of your sad face had come up and he’d chickened out; convinced you hated him too much to take him back.

“C’mon, I’d like to think I’ve taught Chilly well.”, Mason grinned.

“Yeah well, he’s not half as good as you, bro. He keeps giving it away by…” The rest of what Reece said just faded the moment he caught a glimpse of you in the background.

You were talking to Levi who towered over your small figure and laughed at something you said and when he eventually leaned down to kiss your cheek before leaving, Mason’s heart dropped to his tummy. He felt hot all over and sick to his stomach.

What?

“Mase, you’re still with us? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”, Conor joked, and Mason couldn’t help but think that he wished it had been a ghost instead of what he’d just witnessed.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thoughts for a second. I have to leave in a bit anyway, but make sure you call again sometime? It’s been good to speak to you all. I’ll come down to annoy you lot after the season.”, he smiled, hoping it was convincing enough to avoid raising suspicions and when they all happily waved and ended the call, the fake smile dropped from his face.

You and Levi?

Mason wasn't friends with him, so the whole never-date-your-mates’-ex-thing wasn't relevant, but he hadn't pegged you for someone who moved on that quickly. He'd spend more than a decade with you in his life and knew that when you loved, you loved deeply, and you'd always had a hard time closing with people and to see you being that close with Levi not long after the breakup…it hurt.

What did you see in him? Was it his maturity? The fact that he was so serious, but could be charming and funny at the same time? Mason didn’t know much about Levi at all, only that he was everything he himself wasn’t.

For a while he tried to distract himself with household activities he had neglected over the last few days, but as the thoughts kept buzzing and began to drive him insane, he flopped onto the sofa and texted Ben.

He expected the following messages, but that didn’t mean they irritated him less.

But because he needed to know, he pressed the call button in hopes his best friend wouldn’t ignore him.

“Mase.”, Ben sighed down the line after picking up. “I told you I won’t tell you anything. It’s none of your business.”

Mason rolled his eyes. He hated the fact that Ben was more your friend than his best friend at this point, but then again, he couldn’t hold it against him. You and Ben had always been close, basically like siblings from different parents, and Mason could only imagine how hard it must’ve been for Ben to see his best friend breaking your heart.

“Yeah, I know, Ben, but seriously what’s going on between her and Levi. I’ve seen them talking whilst we’ve been on facetime, and he kissed her cheek.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t tell you. I’m not in the place to talk about her to you, you know that.”

“Chilly, c’mon man. You’re my best friend.”, Mason groaned, dropping his head on the back of the sofa.

“Mase, I understand, but she’s not your girlfriend anymore.”, Ben sighed. “Why do you even care? You didn’t want her anymore. Like I said, you broke up with her out of nowhere after she’d moved to Manchester for you. You left her devastated and with a broken heart.”

“Yeah, I know Ben. I don’t think I can ever forget that. I feel like shit because of it, but I just need to know what’s going on. It kills me not to know if she’s with someone new.”

“Save your self-pity, mate. You're my best friend, but if you hang yourself with that now, it's your own fault. Were you looking at her when you ended it? I don't think so, cause otherwise you would know that you have absolutely no right to feel sorry for yourself and question what she is doing with her life after you’ve fucked her over like that.”

He knew he deserved all of that. As much as it hurt to admit, Ben was right with everything.

“I never meant to hurt her, Ben.”, Mason whispered after a moment of silence, finally putting his heart out. “I miss her so much and I don’t know what to do.”

Letting you go was the biggest mistake he’d ever made and with each day passing by, he hated himself a little more for it, but as much as he wanted to make it right and win you back, he wasn’t sure you’d let him. He needed a bit of help, a tiny hint that you missed him as much as he missed you, but for Ben to actually have his back, he needed to be very honest.

“Then why did you do it, Mase? You sent her away and the explanation you gave her just made it worse.”

“I don’t know. I think it got all too much and I felt like I was suffocating her with all the changes. She had to give her life up just because of a single decision I had to make. She tried to hide it, but I could see her struggling with settling in and all the new things going on.”

“Mase, you know I love you, but sorry you’re really daft sometimes. y/n would give up everything for you. Of course, it was difficult to start new and without all her friends, but you know her, she’s stubborn as fuck, do you really think she would’ve come with you if she hadn’t wanted to?”

Mason sighed as he let the words sink in. The words that cut right through his heart. The words that held the truth he’d tried so hard to push away as far as possible.

“I feel like a right idiot, and I know it was wrong, like ever since I got home that evening. I should’ve just talked to her and told her about my worries, and then I should’ve chased after her or at least come down to London a couple of days later, but now I feel like it’s all to late. I am too late, and I hate myself for it so much, Ben. I miss her so much and…that’s why I was asking about Levi…I- I hate the idea of her being with someone else…I can’t lose her…I just- Do you think I’ve lost her for good?”

He heard Ben letting out a long sigh and started to prepare himself for the worst. He’d fucked up and lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. You. And he would regret it for the rest of his life.

“I don’t think so, Mase. She’s not with Levi, that’s all I can tell you. I don’t know if there’s a basis for something between them, I only know they’re getting along well.”

*

You didn’t feel like going out to party at all. In fact, it sounded like your worst nightmare, but Iza was relentless and after you’d said no like 10 times she’d thrown a short black dress onto your bed, had given you a pointed look and left your room for you to get ready.

Knowing she only meant well, you gave in. Also, it wasn’t like you would’ve had an excuse anyway, since the season had been over for a week and football games couldn't ‘keep’ you from going out anymore. And besides that, you didn't want to disappoint Iza either.

She’d been there for you for the whole half year since you were back in London, had offered you a shoulder to cry on whenever you’d needed one and had put herself in the back seat.

And that’s why less than two hours later, you found yourself in a club, three drinks in and a fourth already in your hand.

“We’re gonna get wasteeeeed tonight.”, Iza grinned brightly, the alcohol already catching up with her and although you weren’t any better, you couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“I just want to forget everything for one night. Bring the alcohoool!”, you agreed, clinking your glass against hers before downing the shot.

For an hour you and Iza kept switching between having drinks and dancing as if your lives depended on it. Josh, Iza’s boyfriend and his friends were somewhere in the club too, but your best friend had decided to make it a girls-only-night.

You were just washing your hands after leaving Iza at the bar and dashing to the loo real quick, as you caught your own drunk reflection in the mirror. Why was it always the moment in the bathroom in front of the mirror when one realised how drunk one actually was?

It wasn't as if you didn't know what you were doing anymore, but the inhibition threshold had definitely dropped significantly. A fact that would cause some problems, because just at the moment when you left the bathroom, you came face to face with someone you definitely hadn’t expected to see anytime soon and when your eyes locked on his, you froze.

Your heart thudded in your chest at the way his warm gaze flitted all over your face. It was the first time ever since your break-up that you saw him in person and had you been sober, you’d probably started to cry because of your still hurting heart, but thanks to the alcohol clouding your senses, all you could think of was how good he looked.

The black vest hugged his toned torso perfectly, whilst the short-sleeved, white graphic shirt made sure he left the outlines of his body to the imagination and combined with the black fitted pants he looked as if he’d been crafted by the gods.

And Mason just stared back at you. His big brown eyes were focussed on you, the intensity in his gaze had shivers running down your spine and when a tiny smile appeared on his lips, your heart skipped a beat.

“y/n.”, he breathed. “I didn’t think-“

“Talk somewhere else, not in the middle of the hallway, for god’s sake.”, a guy cursed as he brushed past, accidentally pushing you in the process.

In your heels you lost your balance, stumbling forward a step or two and since there wasn’t much space in the narrow hallway, you fell right into Mason’s broad chest, just about managing to grab a hold of his shoulders.

In an instant, his hands were on your waist to steady you; probably out of pure reflex, but your heart still pounded heavily at the way his skin felt all hot against yours and when you caught a whiff of his scent, you felt as if you were going to pass out any second.

He still smelt the same. Homely.

“Easy there.”, Mason chuckled in an attempt to downplay the sudden nervousness rushing through his body. It had been a rather long while since he’d felt you this close and whilst he knew he should let go of you, he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on you the moment you looked up and your beautiful eyes locked on his.

And for some reason, you couldn’t look away. You simply stared into his big brown eyes, fingers tightening ever so slightly on his shoulders the more the tension around the two of you grew. The sounds coming from the club faded into a background noise as all you could hear was your heart thundering in your chest.

You couldn’t quite place the expression on his face as he stared back at you and although you were sure you were just misinterpreting everything, you couldn’t help but think you recognised the same feelings that haunted you whenever you closed your eyes: Sadness, regret and this awful longing for someone special.

Neither of you said anything, but when his gaze dropped to your lips, the action spoke louder than any word ever could.

“y/n.”, he whispered hoarsely, not even sure what he wanted to say, but it seemed as if you understood and despite your heart threatening to burst through your ribs, you leaned in and kissed him. Deeply.

You knew that you shouldn’t and that after all the disappointment of him breaking up with you and never giving asking you to come back a second thought, you should just tell him to fuck off, but you couldn’t.

The second his scent had invaded your brain and his big brown eyes had locked on yours, you’d fallen down the rabbit hole.

You kissed him as if your life depended on it and Mason kissed you back just as desperately. His hands on your waist pulling you flush against him as he gently brushed his tongue over your bottom lip, wordlessly asking for entrance.  

-

You groaned the second you tried to open your eyes. The bright sun shining through the still open curtains way too bright for the state you were in.

“Bloody hell.” In an attempt to relieve a bit of the pressure, you pressed your hand flat to your forehead. Your head pounded as if hundreds of tiny men were jumping around in it, and on top of that a wave of nausea hit you the second you tried to sit up. “I’ll never even take as much as a glance at alcohol ever again.”

You had no idea how much you’d even had. In fact, you couldn’t even remember the drinking bit in the first place as the last thing you could recall was Josh driving you and Iza to the club. Everything after that had disappeared into a big black hole. Forever and always, to never come back.

Two hours later, you were at least able to get up and shuffle into the kitchen, ready to grab some painkillers and water.

“You look like death warmed up.”, she grinned, but by the way she grimaced the second her head moved a little you could tell that she wasn't feeling any better than you.

“I can’t remember anything. Must’ve been a good one.”, you chuckled. “I know I don’t look very grateful right now but thank you for forcing me. I think I needed it.”

*

It had taken you a day or two to get over your hangover, especially as for some reason the night out had left you with a weird gut feeling. Iza’s reaction to you saying you couldn’t remember a thing from the night had confused you a little. She’d looked a little…sad. But when you’d asked her about it, she’d just played it off.

It had bothered you for a few days, but now two weeks later, there was something else keeping you on your toes: the thought of seeing Mason for the first time ever since the break-up.

“I don’t think I should go.”, you mumbled as you gave yourself a once-over in the mirror. “This is a bad idea, Iza. Maybe I should call and tell him I’m feeling sick.”

To say you were nervous to go to Ben’s birthday party would be an understatement. It would be the first time ever since the break-up that you would see Mason and although you pretended to be okay, you felt like everyone knew you weren’t.

Even after months you still missed him like crazy. A part of you hated him for what happened, for how he’d broken your heart and made you feel as if you’d never been important to him, but the bigger part of you just missed him and the thought of seeing him scared the shit out of you.

“This is Ben we’re talking about, y/n. He’d catch onto your lie straight away.” Iza shook her head and you hated how right she was.

“But I actually am feeling like I’m going to throw up any second.”

“Look, I get that, hun.”, she sighed sympathetically. “But you have me and plenty of other people you know and get along well with will be there too. Levi will be there, in fact.”

“Yeah, because he’ll be happy to see me after I’ve rejected him last week.”, you rolled your eyes, refusing to think back to the moment the defender had asked you out and you’d said no.

“y/n, sweetie, he’s not mad at you, you know that. He just wanted to shoot his shot instead of regretting chickening out. He told you that he’s cool with it and that he understands.”

Iza wasn’t wrong and being honest with yourself, you knew that, but it didn’t help with the fact that you felt a little awkward around Levi now. You felt bad for rejecting him as you actually got along really well, but apart from the fact that going out with one of your ex’s England teammates was out of the question, your heart was still trying to let go of the deep feelings for Mason.

“Look, I know this is a lot and that the thought of seeing Mason again scares you, but-“

“What if he brings a date?” You voice was quiet as you were quite hesitant to even voice your biggest fear. Seeing him with someone else would break your heart all over again and you weren’t sure you could handle it.

Iza sent you a sympathetic smile before pulling you to sit next to her on the bed. She grabbed your hands in hers, thumbs rubbing over your skin to calm you, but she could tell how terrified you were.

“I don't know if Mason has someone new, but even if he does, I'm 100% sure Ben would never invite her along. You’re like his little sister and he’d never do anything to hurt you. He’s gone out of his way to protect you and help you with everything, okay?”

When you nodded convincingly, she smiled at you. “Good, now get your bum up, do your hair and then we’re good to go. You look beautiful and I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to show Mason what he’s lost.”

You chuckled quietly before getting serious again. “Thank you, Iza. For everything. I wouldn’t be where I am without you.”

20 minutes later, you arrived at Ben’s. The party was in full swing already, as the two of you had decided to arrive fashionably late, but when the birthday boy opened the door, a big smile on his face at the sight of you, it was all forgotten.

“Happy birthday, Benji.”, you grinned before pressing a kiss to his stubbly cheek.

“Thank you for coming.”, he whispered into your ear as he hugged you tightly. He knew that it was a big deal for you and that’s why he appreciated it even more.

“It’s your birthday Benji, of course I’m here.”, you shrugged, trying to make it look as if it didn’t terrify you, but your friend could see right through you.

“No one is allowed to go upstairs, so it’s a safe space in case you need to take a breather, okay?” Ben gently squeezed your hands and you could’ve cried because of how grateful you were to have him.

With Iza by your side, you made your way inside, subconsciously scanning the small crowd for Mason and it didn’t take you long to spot him. Him and Harvey were closer than you’d hoped for. They stood talking by the kitchen door, a mere three meters from where you were and once Harvey noticed you, he came over with a bright smile, Mason slowly trailing behind him.

“y/n, darling, long time no see. How are you?” The blonde young man hugged you quickly before stepping back a little.

“I’ve been okay.”, you smiled meekly. It may not have been quite the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. You really were okay - most of the time, anyway.

When Harvey turned to greet Iza, you felt like running away, but after the little peptalk your best friend had given you, you were willing to be brave, so you raised your eyes to find Mason’s gaze. You at least wanted to be civil – for Ben’s sake.

“Hi y/n.”, he mumbled quietly, a slight blush on the tops of his cheeks. You hated the shiver running down your spine at hearing your own name falling from his lips after an eternity. He still had this hold over you…

“Hi Mason.”, you nodded, not able to force a smile onto your lips. The mere sight of him, his big brown eyes and the soft smile had your heart leaping in your chest. It hurt to see him again, to hear his voice and to be in his presence and you realised you had to keep your distance tonight.

There was something flashing up in his eyes when you didn’t say anything else; something you couldn’t quite place and if it didn't sound so unrealistic, you would almost have thought it was disappointment.

“I erm…I’ll get myself something to drink.”

Mason watched you disappearing towards the kitchen and for a moment he thought about following you, but his stubbornness didn’t allow him.

He’d thought that after the incident in the club, after you’d kissed him, you would reach out and initiate a conversation as very obviously there still was something between the two of you, but you never had. You’d kissed him and left him with radio silence.

After your second drink, you decided to stick to drinking water. Because of the nerves, you hadn't been able to eat much, and it was showing as the little bit of alcohol had reached a certain effect already, and you didn't want it to get worse.

Especially as there were two stages of drunk-you: Up to a certain point you were a funny drunk, laughing a lot and just enjoying life – sometimes even doing questionable things – but once you were passed that point, drunk-you got clingy and whiny, basically an emotional mess.

And you wanted to avoid the latter at all costs. You felt like a party pooper anyway as you couldn’t really enjoy the party with Mason around. Your thoughts were all about him all the time and as much as you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t help it.

He was distant. Avoiding you even and although you knew it was normal and probably what exes did, you were miserable because of it. It bothered you, the way he didn’t even try to talk to you, but instead made sure to be as far away as possible.

Deep down you knew it only hurt because it was proof that he was over you. That he didn’t miss you the way you missed him. And that broke your heart all over again.

It was a little while later, that you eventually came across him. You just wanted to go to the loo when you found him talking to Iza in the hallway and that was when you couldn’t hold back anymore. He wasn’t friends with her and to see him talking to her, but not to you was the final nail in the coffin. The turmoil of emotions that had been building up for the last two hours snapped.

“Oh, so you’re talking to everyone but me, I see.”

“I just didn’t see the point after you brushed me off when you arrived.”, he shrugged, seemingly unfazed by how you’d entered the scene like a bulldozer.

“You didn’t see the- What the fuck is wrong with you? Did me brushing you off hurt your heart? Newsflash, Mason, you’re the one who broke up with me, so no wonder I wasn’t necessarily happy to see you here.”, you chuckled hollowly.

You knew you sounded petty and probably were a bit unfair to him as it was his first time seeing you again as well, but you couldn’t help it. Anger and sadness and hurt had taken over your ability to think straight and you just needed to get it all off your chest.

“Well, at least I’m not the one who went out with a guy and kissed their ex the same night, only then to pretend it never happened.”

Everything you’d wanted to say, disappeared into nowhere the moment Mason dropped that bomb. The silence surrounding the two of you all of sudden was deafening, creeping in on you and leaving you unable to breathe for a moment.

“What the hell are you talking about, Mason?”

“Are you being for real? You can't even admit it now? How pathetic, really. I honestly expected more from you, y/n.”

You could see the hurt in his eyes, the true disappointment and it pulled at your heartstrings, but the pure irritation inside of you made it difficult to take a breath and calm down.

“I am pathetic? Mason, I have no idea what you’re talking about, so don’t you dare tell me I’m pathetic.”

Mason flinched a little as you raised your voice at him, but he didn’t back off. If anything, his stare just got more intense by the second.

“God, I can’t believe you’re actually trying to keep this act up…just admit it for God’s sake. Go ahead and tell me it was a mistake and because you were drunk or whatever, but don’t just pretend it didn’t happen!”

“Pretend what didn’t happen, Mason?” You threw your hands in the air as you grew more agitated the more you felt like you had to solve a riddle. “Please enlighten me, because I have no fucking clue!”

“You kissed me, y/n!”, he exclaimed. His cheeks were flushed pink now, brows furrowed, and you could see the desperation in the way he ran his hands through his hair. “In that club a few weeks ago. You just…you kissed me.”

Your whole face went blank the second you realised he was talking about the night out you had no memories from. That night that had left a weird feeling in your gut and you were suddenly reminded of the sad look on Iza’s face when you’d told her that you couldn’t remember a thing.

You narrowed your eyes at Mason, still a little annoyed, but the anger in the pit of your stomach slowly fizzled out.

“I was in the same club as you were, unintentionally, and you came out of the loo whilst I was waiting for Woody in the hallway. Someone accidentally pushed you and I caught you. I don’t know why but you ended up kissing me. And then you left, probably to go back to the guy you came with.”

Mason had pulled his brows together in anger. His brown eyes were still focussed on you, but they appeared colder than before. Cold and sad.

“You came with that guy and kissed me, only to leave with him. Why? Did you think it was funny? Did it give you some sort of kick or something? To kiss your ex while being out with someone else? Who even was that? Not that I really want to know, but what the fuck, y/n. Do you have any idea what that felt like? If that was your revenge for what happened, I don't know getting me back for ending it, then...Fuck! I have no idea why you did it y/n, but it hurt. You just kissed me.”

The more he explained, the more the suspicion grew inside of you: He was obviously hurt and maybe, just maybe even jealous. You knew it didn’t really make any sense as he’d broken up with you and never even tried to contact you one way or another, but the more he tried to make you see his point, the more jealous he sounded and you couldn’t help but feel a little happy about it.

You didn't really want to let it happen, but that little spark of hope that had somehow survived the last few months flared up again. But you couldn’t let yourself get lost in that hope; you needed confirmation. Or closure.

“Why do you even care so much, Mason? You ended it, remember? We’re over.” There was a tiny smirk pulling on your lips as you tried to get him to admit it, but you knew Mason, it wouldn’t be that easy. Not when he had to risk getting rejected and humiliated.

He looked all flustered, attempting to say something, but he just ended up opening and closing his mouth. You were right and he hated it. Even if you’d kissed him for the fun of it, he couldn’t hold it against you. After breaking up with you the way he had, this was you giving him a taste of his own medicine.

“Something you want to say?”, you laughed hollowly, but Mason just gave you a look before turning on his heels and walking away. Deep down he knew that the spark between the two of you hadn’t died; the kiss in the club had been enough proof for that, but he was too much of a coward to admit it to you.

You watched him go back to where the rest of the group was, knowing you should probably join the others again too, but there was too much going on inside your mind. Too many unanswered questions, too many emotions…You couldn't help but feel disappointed as he'd just left you standing on your own again...

You needed a moment to catch your breath, to get yourself together so instead of following Mason, you turned and went upstairs with your favourite place in Ben’s house in mind.

The small balcony could only be reached through the guest bedroom you'd spent the first time after coming back to London in. Back then you’d quickly realised how much peace it brought you to watch the night sky.

The darkness, the millions of stars and the moon made your problems and worried appear so small and insignificant; just watching the sky slowed your heart and mind down. It made everything seem so peaceful.

Downstairs, Mason’s thoughts were all over the place. He hid himself away in the kitchen for a moment, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.

He’d missed you like crazy before, but the kiss in the club had made it worse and all he wanted to do was to make things right, apologise and ask for your forgiveness, but he didn’t know how. The conversation from a few minutes ago hadn’t necessarily made things easier. Quite the opposite actually, as he was sure he’d pissed you off properly with the way he’d practically shouted at you and left you in the hallway the second he didn’t know what to say anymore.

But despite all the question marks filling his mind, he knew that today was his only chance to make things right. His summer holidays were basically around the corner and once he was back, there would be only little time before he had to be back in Manchester for pre-season training.

Taking a deep breath, he left the kitchen to go and look for you, but to his surprise you were no where to be seen.

“Ben erm…”, Mason scratched his neck awkwardly. “Do know if erm…if y/n has left already? We kinda talked and…I don’t know it didn’t go really well and I just feel like I have to explain something.”

Ben sighed as a little regret of inviting both, you and Mason filled his veins. “Mate, if you’ve actually fucked it up again, I’ll have your head.”

“No, I…it’s not that. I think she can’t remember anything from that night and when I tried to explain I sounded jealous and-“

“Because you are jealous, Mase.”, Ben laughed, patting his best friend on the shoulder.

“Well yeah, I know it’s just…I didn’t tell her. Like I chickened out and left instead of admitting it and I just need to talk to her properly. I need to be erm…honest.”

Ben could see the seriousness in his friend’s expression and nodded. He knew you missed Mason and despite everything were still in love with him and despite everything, he didn’t want to get in the way.

“She’s probably upstairs. The guestroom is where she’s slept after coming back from Manchester. It has a little balcony, and she loves sitting there and watching the stars. You should go looking for her there, but Mase, if you fuck this up, there’s no way I’ll have your back.”

“I know.”, Mason nodded. “Thank you, mate.”

He quickly jogged up the stairs and just like suspected, he found you sitting on a lounger and staring into the night sky. For a moment, he just took you in. You looked calm, your features relaxed and there was a small smile tugging on your lips as you’d tilted your head back a little, but before long, Mason slowly walked over and sat down next to you.

“It’s peaceful.”, you said quietly. “Watching the stars, I mean. They’re so far away, but still so bright and with the silence of the night it just clears the mind.”

Out of the corner of your eye you watched Mason tilting his head back a little, eyes focussed on the millions of stars illuminating the sky. The gentle moonlight brushed over his perfect features, highlighting the hundreds of freckles on his cheeks, his long lashes and the soft curve of his lips. He was so beautiful, so perfect and the longer you looked at him, the more the heavy feeling in your chest grew.

He wasn’t yours anymore.

Your eyes stung with tears at the memory of how you’d loved to simply look at him whenever he was fast asleep next to you. How you’d loved to trail your fingers over his nose and cheekbones. How you’d loved to trace the freckles on his soft skin.

You’d wanted to get over him so badly, but now that he was so close, there was no denying that you still loved him. That you were still in love with him.

Carefully, you leaned your head against his shoulder and when he didn’t pull away, but instead wrapped his arm around your waist, a tear rolled down your cheek.

“Did I really kiss you in that club?”

“Yeah.”, he whispered, emotions tugging at his every heartstring.

“And…did you kiss me back?”

Mason gently leaned his head on top of yours. “Of course.” His voice was a little hoarse as he could feel a lump forming in the back of his throat and when you didn’t say anything else, but opted to keep staring into the sky, his fingers gently squeezed your side.

For a while, you just sat side by side, lost in thought and basking in the feeling only the other could provide and for the very first time since months you felt at ease. The turmoil of emotions had calmed down, the constant pain had dulled and all you were left with was the feeling of home only Mason held for you.

“We should probably head back inside.”, you whispered as you started to feel a little bad for abandoning Ben on his own birthday.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”, Mason agreed, although he wanted nothing more than to sit there with you forever. It just felt so right.

Everything felt right with you.

When you came back downstairs, you realised that most of the guests had left already, making you question for how long you and Mason had actually sat on that balcony.

“Sorry, Ben, we didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t apologise.”, he smiled softly. Maybe you and Mason weren't back where you belonged yet, but the fact that you'd been gone so long and obviously hadn't clawed your eyes out only showed him that you were on the right track, and he would never be mad at either of you for making progress. Even if it was on his birthday.

“You will have to share the bedroom, though. I tried to keep two empty, but Henry spontaneously decided to stay too, so the only one left is the one upstairs.”

“Oh erm…I can take the sofa too, no problem.”, Mason offered, but before you could protest and remind him of his back, Ben had shaken his head already.

“Woody’s taken that already. Sorry.”

It was a little awkward when about 15 minutes later you emerged from the en-suite bathroom. Mason was perched on the edge of the bed, typing away on his phone and just waiting for it to be his turn to brush his teeth.  

“You erm…I’m done in there.” You blushed when he raised his gaze to look at you and whilst at home, you’d thought about simply sleeping in a big t-shirt, you were now happy you’d chosen shorts and a matching top as your pjs.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”, he nodded and the small smile playing on his lips had your knees weakening.

How were you supposed to survive the night?

You’d just gotten under the sheets and relaxed into the soft mattress on your side of the queen-sized bed, when Mason reappeared. To your surprise, he kept his shirt on as he joined you in bed and although it was just a tiny detail, it warmed your heart.

Early on in your relationship, he’d explained how he hated sleeping with a shirt on as he got too hot and the fabric just bothered him and the way he now kept it on to make you feel a little more comfortable around him, had you screaming internally.

It was weird to be in the same bed with him; to be so close, but at the same time so far away as you were both lying back-to-back, and you figured it would be difficult for sleep to take over, but to your utter surprise, you found yourself being eased into sleep by his soft breathing and his protective and soothing presence behind you.

-

When you woke up the next morning, it took you a second or two to gather your thoughts and make sense of the situation as you thought it all must’ve been a dream, but the gentle snoring filling the room brought you back into reality rather quickly.

You were lying on your back, pressed into the mattress by a heavy body lying half on top of you. His head was comfortably placed on your chest and the thought of him seeking out your proximity in his sleep had you blushing.

For a moment, you simply looked at him. The way his head was tilted upwards a little gave you the perfect view of his pretty features. His lashes fanned the tops of his freckled cheeks, the bridge of his nose had a rosy tinge, and his pink lips were slightly parted.

Carefully to avoid disturbing his peaceful slumber, you ran your hand through his soft hair just like you’d always done when you’d woken up before him and the mere feeling of his body half on top of yours, his hair beneath your fingers and him in your arms mended tiny parts of your broken heart.

But at the same time it just made you miss him more and you hoped he’d stay fast asleep for another few hours so you could bask in this moment for a while longer.

Little did you know though, that Mason had been awake for quite some time already. He’d woken up before you, in your arms but he hadn’t dared to make a move. It had been way too long that he’d been able to feel you like this and obviously he knew it was his own fault, but it didn’t make him miss you less.

Quietly, he enjoyed your fingers running through his hair and scratching his scalp in the way only you knew how to, but after a while the urge to say something and make things right got too big.

“Morning.”

His words startled you as you hadn’t expected him to be awake already and you quickly pulled your hand back, but Mason was quick in reaching up and placing it back into his hair. “Feels nice.”

“Bit like old times.” Your voice was shaky as all the emotions yesterday and this morning had dragged to the surface came crashing down and you realised that this was the moment everything would either start to heal slowly or break apart again.

And you weren’t sure how to survive the latter.  

“I miss you, y/n.”, Mason admitted quietly.

“You left me.”

“I know, I just…I miss you so much.”

You could hear the pain in his voice, the pent-up emotions he’d tried to hold back just like you had over the last months and when he shuffled up until he came face to face with you, you could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“Why did you do it then? Why did you send me away?”

“I just wanted to see you happy, y/n.”, he smiled sadly. “I felt so guilty for dragging you up to Manchester. You had your whole life in London, job, family, friends, everything and then because of a decision I had to make, you had to throw it all aboard and start new.”

“You sent me away because you didn’t think I was happy? You made that decision for me instead of talking to me?”

You were confused and maybe a little angry, but the moment the first tear spilled down his cheek, your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. Sitting up, you turned to face him, and Mason was quick to follow your lead.  

“I could see you struggling.”, he gulped, wiping the tears rolling down his cheeks. “You didn’t really know anyone and as the days passed it was so obvious how much you missed everyone. I caught you crying one evening when you hung up the phone after you’d spoken to your mum, y/n. You would’ve never admitted it and I felt so bad for keeping you with me, when it wasn’t home to you.”

“Mase, home has always been where you were.”, you whispered, trying to catch the tears falling from his eyes, whilst it was hard to see through your own. “Of course, it was difficult in the beginning, you know it always takes me a while to get used to new things and let people in, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to be there. You have always been home to me. Not London, not Manchester, not anywhere else. Just you.”

And then it was suddenly too much for Mason. Everything came crashing down on him. Months of agony, months of pain, months of missing you. The realisation that he’d fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“I’m so sorry.”, he cried as he hunched over, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what to say. I fucked up the best thing I’ve ever had, I sent you away and I’ve hurt you so much. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You carefully brushed a hand through his hair in an attempt to help him calm down again and when he eventually locked his teary eyes on yours, you you took one of his hands in your own.

“Why didn’t you speak to me? I would’ve told you, Mase. I would’ve told you it was just taking me a bit longer, but you never gave me the chance. You just sent me away and then you looked so okay with everything. You went on with your life as if nothing happened. It hurt, Mase.”

“No, I- I’m not okay.”, he shook his head. “Nothing is okay, it never is, but that’s just how I function most days. It’s hard getting up in the morning and going to training, but at the same time that’s the only thing keeping me from constantly thinking about you and how you might’ve moved on.”

A sad laugh left your lips the moment he mentioned moving on from him. “I can’t. I don’t think I will ever be able to move on from you, Mase. I’m still fucked up from it all and I don’t know when it will get better.”, you sniffled. “Until yesterday, I didn’t think it would ever get better.”

“And then?”

“Then we talked and you seemed so jealous a-“

“I was jealous.”, Mason admitted quickly. He felt his cheeks heating up, but he didn’t care. This was his chance to make it all right. His only chance so he had to lay it all out in front of you. His whole heart.

“Have been for a while, you know? First Levi and then that guy you went to the club with…That weekend, I came to London to speak to you. I wanted to apologise and tell you how much I miss you, I wanted to make things right. But when I rounded the corner I saw you leaving your house with that guy and-“

“That guy was Josh.”, you interrupted him. “He’s Iza’s new boyfriend and he drove us to the club. She’d left a minute before to grab the car, but you must’ve missed that.”

Mason’s heart dropped at hearing that. He could’ve talked to you weeks ago, but no, he had to read his own truth from it and ended up getting the wrong end of the stick. He sighed and dropped his gaze ashamedly to your hands still holding his. He felt like an idiot and he knew it would only get worse, but he felt like he had to ask to find closure.

“And what about Levi? I was on facetime with Ben and some other guys the other day and…you were in the background with Levi…he kissed your cheek, but when I asked Ben, he said he couldn’t tell me anything.”

“He’s just a friend, Mase.” You watched the blush spread over his whole face, but the relief in his eyes was what made your heart stumble in your chest. “I haven’t seen anyone ever since you broke up with me. I couldn’t it just…it hurt too much.”

Mason gently wiped a tear from your cheek. His heart hurt so hard, he wasn’t sure it would ever stop. He’d known before how much pain he’d caused you, but to see it right in front of his eyes was what tore him apart.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.”, he breathed as tears welled up in his eyes again and when he pulled you into his arms and you clung onto him almost immediately, they eventually fell. “I am so fucking sorry. I want to make it right, y/n. I just want you back.”

You turned your head on his shoulder so you could speak to him without pulling back. “When we sat on that balcony…it felt like something was healing inside of me. And when I woke up this morning, with you here I just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to find the perfect words, y/n. Just tell me what you’re feeling. Please.”

And that was all it took for you to let go. “I…I just love you so much.”, you sobbed, and you felt his arms tightening around you.

“You broke my heart and left me in the pouring rain on my own, you ignored me and basically sent me back to London because you didn’t want me anymore. And then you went on with your life as if everything was okay and it just made me feel as if I’d never been as important to you as you were to me. It hurt me so much Mase, you hurt me so much. It made me feel as if with your new life in Manchester little old me wasn’t good enough anymore.”

Somewhere in the middle of your speech, something broke deep inside of Mason and he wasn’t sure if it would ever be the same. Your words and the pain behind them cut right through his heart and made him wish desperately he could turn back the time to take it all back.

He'd never meant to hurt you. All he’d wanted was to ensure you were happy, but instead he’d put you through hell and back.

“You could never be not good enough.”, he sobbed, trying to hold you even closer. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I hate myself for making you feel like you weren’t. I’ve always needed you and all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy and I know now that it never made sense, but back then I really thought I was doing the right thing for you.”

Mason pulled back a little and grabbed your face in between his hands.

“Look at me please.”, he asked quietly and once your teary eyes were locked on his, he smiled. “I’ve missed you ever since you left our house that day. I felt homesick, you know? Not because of my family or my friends, but because of you. I felt homesick because like you said, you’re home to me.”

You closed your eyes as his thumbs gently wiped away the tears and when he kissed your forehead, a small smile appeared on your lips.

“I don’t know how to make you believe that I can make us work again, but I’m not going to give up. I did that once and…we both know it was the wrong choice…and that’s why I’m here, why I’m wanting to make it right. I came to London because of you, I wanted to apologise and make things right and tell you that I’m lost without you. I’m as lost without you as you are without me because y/n you’re my whole life. I love you, I love you so much it hurts.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks as his words slowly sank in. He loved you. He still loved you as much as you loved him.

“If we’re going to do this again, you have to promise it will be different.” You took a deep breath as you tried to blink your tears away. “You have to show me that you’re ready this time. To have me up there with you and go through the rough patches no matter how difficult. You need to talk to me Mase.”

“I am ready. I promise you, I am.” Mason’s bottom lip wobbled from the way he was trying to hold back the tears as best as he could. “All I want is to have you by my side. I love you, I love you so much and I promise I’ll make sure you know how important you are to me.”

“Okay.”, you gulped. “If you walk away again, Mase, it’ll be for good. I can’t go through all of this again. I can’t have my heart broken like this again.”

“It will never happen again.”, he promised with a shaky voice. “I’ll love you forever and another day. I’ll never let go of your hand again. I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, too, Mase.”

And although you were both still crying, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his in a much needed and desperate kiss. A kiss, you’d both been craving for way too long.

—————

I genuinely hope you enjoyed reading this. You would make my day if you left a little feedback so I can see what you liked and what I can improve on 🩷

[sightoru]

i'm not ready to let go of you. “ + Izuku? Please and thank you

Deku + I'm not ready to let you go

[Anon, you didn't pick a body part tho tbh not a big deal. I chose eyes for you.

Poem is "Sorrow is Not My Name by Ross Gay"

tw: angst but the ending is hopeful. happy endings only here.]  ——————————————————————————

Green is your favorite color. 

It's the color of the grass after the snow melts, it's the color of your bedspread and kitchen cabinets. It's the color of the avocado you smash on every sandwich you eat, and the color of the caterpillars that hang out in your garden. 

Green is also the color of Izuku's impossibly wide eyes, and they're currently pleading with you to stay. 

"I'm sorry I forgot about dinner," he whines, and you hate the tugging in your chest you feel at the pitch of his voice. "There was a villain and my students were there and I just had to make sure they were all safe. I'm so sorry I know we've had this planned for a while now."  You made reservations months in advance. The new restaurant was something you looked forward to trying, something fancy and high end. You, a fellow teacher, saved up for months just to be able to go, knowing that both your teacher salaries don't often allow for luxuries like dinners at nice restaurants. 

You look away from him, folding your legs to your chest, "I just…." you pause, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I was really looking forward to it." You don't want to say anymore. You don't trust yourself enough to keep the shake out of your voice. 

There's something about the quiet way you say it that makes Izuku's chest feel like black whip is wrapped around him; takes the air out of his lungs. He remembers your first date, years ago, when he decided to become a teacher and you were endlessly supportive of that — despite being a stranger. 

He remembers when you moved your stuff in, shades of green and white and brown took over the apartment. Pictures were hung on the wall (memories made, places seen, inside jokes created), green onions rest in a mason jar full of water near the sink (you refuse to let anything go to waste). You shoes are next to his, comparably untidy. The wood of your furniture is everywhere (the TV stand you found on the side of the road, the coffee table bought off Facebook marketplace. the bookshelf you got from a friend moving cross country. You're all over his life now, painting his world in shades of green.)

He remembers a poem he read long ago that reminds him of that moment. You quoted it to him once, "My colors green," you said. "I'm spring." He remembers all the things he loves about you: how easily you pull him off the brink, how you snort when you laugh. The way your lips purse when you're in thought. How your head naturally cocks slightly to the left. 

"Honey," he says, and the words stick the same way in his mouth, "I'm not ready to let you go. I'm sorry, I'll set boundaries with myself. I'll try to be better. For you."

For you, for you, for you, the words echo in your head and make you feel like you're swimming. It reminds you of the movie you both like, the main character telling his love interest, as you wish. For months after the first time you both watched it, the words were uttered constantly, 

"How am I supposed to feel," You ask, "when the task seems impossible? I feel awful I even have to say anything. We're both teachers. We both know how important raising the future is. I'm just…" words escape you for a moment. You glance up at him, take in the scar on his handsome face, "I'm just not as sure about this anymore."  He doesn't have to ask you what this is. He already knows, and the metaphorical black whip tightens around his chest. "I can quit," he offers. But you both know he's lying. 

He would never, and that's okay with you. You don't want him to feel like he has to choose between his passion and you. You just don't want to be forgotten. Something about it stirs up grimy childhood feelings — abandonment from your parents. Abandonment from your friends. 

("That sounds lonely," he told you once, after you shared childhood memories with him. "You…" he pauses, tastes the words in his mouth. "You don't have to be lonely again." 

You believed him, foolishly enough. To be fair, he kept his promise, until this past year.)

It makes you feel green. Green, like the olive branch he's trying to extend. You look over at him, trying to focus and keep the blur out of your eyes. "Don't do that," you say. "Just don't make plans with me you can't keep."

"I won't," he tells you eagerly, bundling you up in his arms."never again." he mutters into your hair. You pull away slightly, angle your face to his and take in the green of his eyes; the soft texture of his hair and the smattering of freckles across his tanned face. 

And what are you supposed to do when he holds you like that? When he sounds like that? His hands are so warm and tangled in your hair and his fingers are pressed into your back and all you can think about is how over and over and over again you'd devote yourself to him. It does not matter if he hurts you, it does not matter if you hurt him. The only choice you have is to believe him. 

So you do. 

[alotofpockets]

Secret admirer | Jackie Groenen

Pairing: Jackie Groenen x Nedwnt!Reader

Prompts: "It was you the whole time?" & "Your handwriting is recognizable, you know that right?"

Masterlist | Woso masterlist | Words: 1.1k

Ever since the national team camp had started, you have been finding little notes everywhere. Most often you would find them in your bags, or in your locker but sometimes you would find a note with your name on it in a shared space like next the the coffee machine outside of the conference room. 

You loved whenever a new one would show up, always smiling at the lovely message that was written on it. Usually either a compliment or a beautiful quote. You kept every one of the notes that you had received from your secret admirer in a box, happily adding the newest editions each time. 

Today when you entered the dining hall all eyes were on you, “What’s going on?” You asked, getting a little shy from all the attention. “We’ve found another note from your secret admirer.” Daan says while wiggling her eyebrows, waiving the note with your name on it through the air. “Hey, give that to me.” You say while snatching it from her hand. “Does it say your name, huh?” Daniëlle just laughs at your possessiveness of the little note. 

You grab your food and sit down at one of the tables. Taking the little folded note from your pocket to read it. It was another one with a compliment which made you blush instantly, you looked pretty today! was written on the note you had to work hard on to hide from your curious teammates. “Do you know who they are from, yet?” Jackie asks. You shake your head, “No, the notes are always anonymous.” 

In reality you had known who the notes were from almost instantly. You just chose to let this play out, because quite frankly you felt very flattered and loved by how much effort your not so secret admirer was putting into making you smile. 

After breakfast you head out to the training field with the rest of the team. They continued their teasing when you’d taken the note with you instead of leaving it in your room. You couldn’t care less about their teasing though, you had fallen hard for the writer of the notes a long time ago, and were eager to get to the stage where she would let you in on her secret.

It wasn’t until a couple weeks into training camp when you and a few of the girls took a trip to the beach on your day off. It was the perfect weather for a walk on the beach and you were so glad that Jackie suggested it. Unbeknownst to you, her intention was to only ask you to go but when people got wind of it, they invited themselves along for a group hang.

When you all walked past a small restaurant, Daan suggested taking a little break. Most of the girls were down, just Jackie seemed to not be into the idea. “Actually, I think I want to continue walking for a bit longer. You guys go ahead though.” You excused yourself from the group and followed Jackie, noticing the slightly somber look on her face. “Hey Jacks, mind if I join? The weather is just so nice today.” Her smile quickly returned. “Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about something, so this is perfect.”

You continued walking as Jackie started talking. “So, since camp is nearing its end, I wanted to tell you something.” You smiled at her, encouraging her to continue, knowing full well what she was on about. “The notes you’ve been getting.” She started, nervously looking up at you. Jackie seemed to be too nervous to continue, so you decided to ask her, "It was you the whole time?" Her eyes widened, did you know or were you guessing? “Yes, it was me.” 

You smile wide at the confession, even though you already knew it was her, it was just so good to hear her say it. “Aw Jacks, that’s sweet. I had no idea!” She studies your face, noticing a slight sparkle in your eyes. “You already knew it was me, didn’t you?” You laugh, “Yes, yes I did.” Jackie hides her face behind her hands. “Oh god, I’m so embarrassed right now.” You shake your head and move your hands over hers, effectively taking them away from her face. “Don’t be embarrassed. I loved it.” You reassure her. “Why didn’t you stop me as soon as you realized it was me?” You left one of your hands on her cheek, gently stroking it with your thumb, while you held her hand in your other. “Because I never want you to stop leaving me little notes like that.” She searches your face again, looking for the meaning behind your words. A meaning she finds when you start slowly leaning in, waiting for any kind of response from the woman in front of you to make sure that this is what she wanted to. The moment Jackie starts leaning in too, you smile and pull her face closer to yours, connecting your lips in a soft kiss.

After you pull back from the kiss, you wrap your arm around her, hugging her tightly. “I just wanted to say that I look out for your notes every single day, they mame me very happy. Especially knowing they came from you, of course.” You place a quick peck to her cheek and the two of you continue walking down the beach hand in hand. It wasn’t until about five minutes later that Jackie stopped you in your tracks, “Wait, how did you know it was me?” 

You reach in your pocket to pull out the note from today, "Your handwriting is recognizable, you know that right?" Jackie starts laughing, “How did I not realize that?” You laugh with her, “I have no idea, but it’s very cute.” 

Since the wind was getting colder you decided to turn around and head back to the restaurant the rest of the girls went to. You walk up to their table together and each order a hot chocolate to warm up again. The hot chocolate came with a small napkin, which gave Jackie an idea. She reached in her purse and grabbed a pen. You smile when you realize she is writing you another note, this time right in front of you. You read her note with a big smile on your face. 

Life is an adventure, and I cannot wait to live this adventure with you by my side.

xx Jackie

Your first signed note and the start of a beautiful adventure. You pocket the note, the rest of the girls not having noticed anything yet, hoping to keep this between the two of you for a little longer. 

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[regregregulusblack]

My official intro post . ⋆✮ ˚ . ✩°｡⋆｡

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘. My name is Regulus Black, and no, you are NOT allowed to call me Reg or Reggie.

A photo my friend Evan took of me without my permission. I will never forgive you, @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr !!!

I am intersex and I go by he/they pronouns. I don’t like to label myself, but at least I am not straight. I am single and not looking for anyone at all at the moment. I am also autistic and have ADHD. NOT the wild sort. The fucking-tired-bitch-stfu-sort.

My interests:

• Art

• Quidditch (I’m a seeker)

• Poetry (both reading and writing)

• Reading books

• Defence of the Dark Arts

• Analysing every single lyric in every single Taylor Swift song and crying about it

• Makeup

On this blog I will be posting quotes, poetry, art, photographs and selfies and just silly little things that I feel like sharing. If I see any posts about me, I will read them and BEWARE, I will be critical. So you might see me around :) You have been warned.

You will also probably see me having chats with my friends, @remus-lupin-offical is one of them but I’m still waiting for my other idiot friends to finish making their bloody accounts. I will add them here as soon as I can! Update: Took as them long enough, but now they’re also on Tumblr! People you will see me interacting with:

• @sirius-thesstar (Ew)

• @remus-lupin-offical (Why’d you choose my idiot brother as your boyfriend? You’re better than this.)

• @the-real-marls-mckinnon

• @xxcassiexx Dorcas Meadows, a Slytherin I have deep respect for. Say hi to Dorcas!

• @barty-not-barry (My batshit crazy friend)

• @pandora-notyetalovegood (Fellow Slytherin, say hi!)

• @lily-evans-for-ya (In a world of annoying people you are a nice person. Take it as a compliment or don’t. It’s up to you.)

• @captainjamespotter (Annoying Gryffindor)

• @stolemyheelsfromlegolas (DO NOT CALL ME REGIANO FFS) (MARY YOU HEAR ME?!)

• @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr (Another lovely Slytherin asshole, he and Barty should just shut up and kiss by the way)

• @ur-local-peter-pettigrew (Gryffindor)

• @itty-bitty-bella (Cousin)

• @therealcissyblack (Cousin who loves me :))

• @andro-black (Cousin AS WELL)

• @the-best-slytherin (Luna, a fellow Slytherin)

• @yourfavouritehufflepuffgirl (Ew Hufflepuffs) (Ooc: I love Hufflepuffs)

You will see me arguing with my brother, @sirius-thesstar. Like, a lot. Don’t mind Sirius, he’s an idiot. If we’re arguing in French, do NOT translate if you’re a scaredy cat…

Do not interact if:

• You’re Sirius and you’re mad at me

• You’re a Gryffindor (yeah that goes for you too Sirius) (Slytherin is the best Hogwarts house)

• You’re transphobic

• You’re homophobic

• You don’t like me for some other reason

• You’re a Taylor Swift hater

I love Taylor. Don’t you ever disrespect her. Her new album only further proves that she’s a true poet. Even @sirius-thesstar agrees with me on that.

Other things I love are:

• Cats (I dream of having two black cats and naming them Phoebe and Ruby)

• The sea (It’s so calming to watch, but I HATE swimming. It’s too cold. And wet. Yuck.)

• The rain

• Conan Gray (No one can take his album “Superache” from me. Don’t ever try or I’ll bite you.)

Hope I’ll see you around! (Or not. Depending on my mood)

My tags: #regregregulusreg, #thetorturedpoetofthecave, #regussy, #regulussy

Random edit: Ooc: Eh so I’m a minor and I’m a victim of actual physical and mental abuse and I’m still going through stuff, so eh, “Reggie” might be talking jokingly about abusive parents and a tough upbringing on here and stuff like that… just know that that is my fucked up coping mechanism okay, and I don’t mean any harm, and please if you’re joking around with me about abuse don’t take it too far since it might be triggering for me. Thank you.

[mxtxfanatic]

Heyyy !! Hope you are having a nice day. I've been scrolling through your blog for a while and I absolutely love your takes and analysis of MDZS as they pretty much match up to my interpretation of MDZS novel. I just wanted to ask you what do you think about wwx's death at the first siege?? As there was no confirmation how he died but a lot of rumors ??? Do you think he qi deviated and his corpses turn on him? Or do you think he intentionally killed himself as was implied (heck it was shown) in cql?

I'm personally of the opinion that he chose to die because all the people he was in charge of protecting died in front of him. Plus his former (sect) brother jc was leading the siege to kill the said people. Not to mention the whole cultivation world for baying for his blood. He was traumatized, exhausted (both mentally and physically) due to destroying stygian seal, grieving due to death of the wen siblings and his shijie (probably blamed himself for it all and people dying).

So what is your take?

Wei Wuxian was killed from the backlash created from trying to destroy the second half of the stygian tiger seal. I'm using the exr translation for my quotes. In the prologue, we are told this:

“The YiLing Patriarch has died? Who could have killed him?” “Who other than his shidi, Jiang Cheng, putting an end to his own relative for the greater good. Jiang Cheng led the Four Clans of YunmengJiang, LanlingJin, GusuLan, and QingheNie to destroy his “den”—LuanZang Hill.”

A couple paragraphs later, someone refutes this, saying:

“That’s merely hearsay. Although Jiang Cheng was one of the main forces, he did not give Wei WuXian the final blow. Because he cultivates the Demon Path, Wei WuXian’s powers had backfired and he was ripped to pieces.”

—and we also get this, which while spoken by the narrator is given a speculative rather than conclusive tone:

Nobody could summon Wei WuXian’s soul, which meant that his soul had disappeared. It might have been torn apart by the millions of ghosts that devoured him.

Later on, Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning have a conversation about the cause of Wei Wuxian's death:

After a moment of silence, Wei WuXian asked again, “What else have you heard?” Wen Ning whispered, “Sect Leader Jiang, Jiang Cheng, brought a siege upon the Burial Mounds. And he killed you.” Wei WuXian, “I’ll have to clarify this one. He didn’t kill me. I died from a backfire.” Wen Ning finally looked up at him, “But, Sect Leader Jiang clearly...” Wei WuXian, “Nobody can walk safely on a single-plank bridge for their whole life. It couldn’t be helped.”

—Chapt. 43: Allure

Wen Ning hears that Wei Wuxian was personally killed by Jiang Cheng, and Wei Wuxian immediately refutes this and says he died from backlash. Wen Ning wants to argue this point, but I think, more than anything, that he is arguing that Wei Wuxian's death is Jiang Cheng's fault (the siege could not have happened without him being able to get past the corpses guarding the base of the Burial Mounds) rather than Jiang Cheng personally landing the killing blow. This is especially true since Jiang Cheng claims credit and glory for both leading the siege and "personally killing" Wei Wuxian, even though we know the latter is a falsehood.

Either way, Wei Wuxian, himself, says he died from backlash, and we know the backlash came from attempting to destroy the second half of the stygian tiger seal because that was what he was working on—having successfully destroyed the first half—when the first siege took place. Wei Wuxian did not kill himself; he knew he was on borrowed time and used it to destroy the weapon he knew the clans were really after.

[sandyferal]

I genuinely think Tootie’s behavior towards Timmy would improve dramatically like. The second Vicky moves out of the family house. It’s clear that Vicky is severely inhibiting Tootie’s ability to have friends, much less have them come over and spend time with her. And it feels likely that the main reason her crush turned into an obsession is because Timmy had shown himself to be the only person willing to be nice to her. It doesn’t justify the way she acted, but let’s be real it’s not like she has good role models to teach her better.

I feel like once Vicky isn’t around to ruin her social life she’ll be able to have other friends over and like, have someone around to seek comfort in that isn’t her crush. She could actually start growing as a person. Which could happen as soon as like, 1-3 years after the events of the show?

I also really like the idea that even if she isn’t obsessed with Timmy, that Crimson Chin doll he gave her holds a special place in her heart because like. As a sentimental person I gotta be real something like that would never not be sweet to me. I’d thinking about it for years.

And I like to think because of that she eventually got into comics and began to obsess over those instead. Maybe Crimson Chin wasn’t her thing! But she seems to enjoy fantasies and I think it would be so fun to see her find her own interests. If we’re getting into specifics, I get the vibes that she would be into comics following heroes like Superman, or when villainesses get their own comics like Harley or Poison Ivy. Obviously not those exact characters but those are the vibes I get. Not to say I don’t think she wouldn’t still have girly interests and love romance and stuff but man.

Additionally. I fucking hate Tootie from the live action movies. They glorify her as hot and morally perfect while simultaneously treating how she was as a child as weird and ugly. Man people grow up and sometimes get less weird but like some people are just dorks. Tootie is a dork. Keep her as an overenthusiastic, emotional, glasses-wearing, strong-willed dork. You cowards. Women don’t need to be “perfect” to be accepted and loved.

If Tootie and Timmy did eventually get together, personally I think it would be good if Timmy just. Didn’t see her for a while. She gets more into spending time with actual friends, and doesn’t talk to Timmy as much until they meet up again a couple years later at an afterschool comic club/comic con, or something of that sort. I think she deserves to be her own person before she actually ends up with anyone.

And while I normally don’t like “ships” (I say that in quotes bc I don’t particularly feel compelled to ship these children at all) that involves a party who clearly isn’t interested… they’re also. Children. It’s not that serious. They really shouldn’t be together at this age anyway, and they probably will change as they get older.

It doesn’t feel that big of a deal to imagine Tootie and Timmy might be together as adults despite their current dynamic, because the main issues are:

a) Tootie doesn’t respect boundaries and is emotionally unstable, which are both likely caused by isolation, lack of good role models, and being too young to understand things. Very likely she grows out of it.

b) Timmy not liking her. Which, in the context of the early episodes about her, is actually something you could debate?

To clarify, he obviously isn’t interested in a romantic relationship most of the time, but at the same time he clearly has some care for her. The argument could be made that it is because of his fairies influencing him, yes, or it’s just pity. But like. There are episodes where he legit just does something because he wants her to be happy. And he indicates he doesn’t really dislike her or hate spending time with her. He, at least in theory, is actually willing to spend time with her. (“I would’ve gone to her dumb party if she’d invited me.”) That’s not even mentioning how he. Like. Just straight up chose to stick himself with a love arrow because he wanted to enjoy spending a Valentine’s Day with her. Which is a whole thing that could be analyzed but not the point.

If anything his actions point to a young boy who at the moment, only feels attraction through the lense of someone being “pretty” instead of someone they can genuinely get along with. He sees Tootie as weird and embodying the qualities boys find “icky” in girls. It would make sense if he grew out of that.

Although at the end of the day I don’t really care who these kids end up with, I JUST want Tootie to be able to have a happy and healthy social life/relationship with a partner when she grows up, and I hate the idea of completely stripping away her “not pretty” qualities before she’s allowed to have that. She’s a fucking lovely little girl who deserves to be herself, and to be weird, and to be happy. That’s my fucking daughter!!! I love her so much!!!

[anxresi]

They're absolutely right...

...It's the writers that deserve the lion's share of the backlash, for poor, innocent, boring-as-hell Zoe is merely a tool of the oppressor, aka Mr Astruc. What's being oppressed, you may well ask? Well, interesting storylines, proper continuity, two-dimensional personalities... I could go on. Everything that makes a show compulsive and rewarding viewing that Miraculous Ladybug conspicuously and utterly lacks in every department due to his increasingly destructive machinations, basically.

This pink-streaked plot device masquerading as a serious character can (along with another equally pointless individual called 'Soquerline' who was so unmemorable I almost forgot she was ever a thing) exists for one reason and one reason only: to diminish Chloe's relevance and role in the show to the sum of precisely nothing. Well after S5, job done I guess guys. Well done. Well done indeed. (Although apparently not... they're bringing Miss Bourgeois back for more torture in the London 'special'. Guess Tommy Boy just can't keep away from his favorite punching bag, can he?)

The irony is though, having such a super-sweet but dull-as-ditchwater Mary Sue to replace a well-established and multi-layered person such as Chloe actually sends out a seriously awful message. Why? Because if I was a bad kid and saw S1-3 Chloe, I'd think 'what a fascinating redemption arc, I can inspired by that and do better.' But after seeing S4-5 Chloe and what an arguable downgrade as a replacement the incredibly tedious Zoe is, I'd be more like 'well, obviously there's no point in trying to be good, because you'll probably turn into a psychopath overnight with no explanation in the middle of your genuine efforts to improve. And if what the show is presenting to me as the ideal for a teenage girl to be is the waste-of-blank-space that Zoe clearly is... then a life of deliquency sounds more tempting with every passing minute! Now, where did I put my spray can?'

The most shameless aspect to this whole argument though, is by those trying to paint the hapless Zoe as some kind of lesbian icon. Pardon? She got a plot-mandated crush on Marinette in one episode and somehow that makes her insipid and needless presence an asset for the gay community? Somehow a few people have got it into their heads if you 'dare' to make someone non-straight in cartoons these days you deserve a big pat on the back for that 'risk' alone. WRONG. They should also be fleshed-out, complex, necessary characters whose sexuality isn't just define them or deflect from deserved criticism as to what the hell they are doing there if they turn up in the middle of proceedings with no prior explanation. See: The Owl House for how it's done.

And that's all Zoe being gay is... an irrelevant trait Mr Astruc can point to cynically and say ' you're a bigot for disliking her whatever your reasons are, so I'm not listening to you' instead of engaging with the actual argument which is SHE IS NOT AND WAS NEVER NEEDED IN THE SHOW. Everything you required to make Chloe the brilliant character she could've been was RIGHT THERE in the script but you CHOSE to rub it all out and scrawl some hastily scribbled doodle with no personality other than being 'very nice' in her place. A tragedy. The worst case of self-vandalism I've ever seen. No wonder Jeremy Zag wants to start from scratch with his rebooted movies. More power to him, IMHO.

Needless to say, nearly all the above in the quoted post about her father loving her (we haven't met him yet, it's DEFINITELY not Andre Bourgeois, his name ends in 'Lee' for a start) her supposed growth (the only 'growth' she's had is when she turned into that giant golden Chloe after being akumatized) her alleged pansexuality (all in the desperate mind of the OP) her 'abusive' family (I think you'll find Chloe had it FAR WORSE over the course of the show in that regard, so why not idolise her?) is complete bunkum. and to be frank I couldn't compose a much delusional post if I tried. Sometimes I wonder: what planet are some people on to reach such implausible conclusions? I don't understand it, I'll never understand it and quite frankly I feel quite sorry for the arbiters of such risibly deluded takes.

Last but not least though, we have...

Now this I ALSO agree with 1000%. And I know just the place to 'flush' her... ;)