#this is so much easier what the actual fuck

[bloatedandalone04]

Kiwi

Summary: You’re pregnant with Rafe’s baby, and he’s more stressed out about it than you are (and rightfully so).

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: fluff, swearing, protective rafe, soon to be dad rafe, smut, angst if you squint, unprotected sex, pregnancy.

You were steadily entering your second trimester, which was shaping out to be a little easier than your first. You were still craving the weirdest food combinations, but Rafe would never complain about needing to go out and buy them for you since the grateful smile you always gave him made his heart feel so full. 

Seven years with you, and he was still as crazy about you as he’d been since the first date. 

With that being said, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could pretend to like your weird (and sometimes really fucking gross) pregnancy cravings. But he would have to, since you’re carrying his baby like a fucking champ, and you looked so stunning while doing so. 

Rafe had just gotten back from a grocery store run, sporting a bag full of odd food choices for you, and he set it down on the counter before leaving the kitchen to go find you. 

You were in the living room, your feet planted on the couch as you scrolled through your phone. Why you were standing on the couch, he had no idea, but the thought of you accidentally falling was the first thing that flashed through his head, and he was not about to let that happen. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he rasped, quickly walking over to you and grabbing your waist. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You’re four months pregnant, babygirl, you need to be careful. Jesus Christ.”

“I am being careful,” you defended yourself, holding your phone in one hand while your other ran through his hair. You looked around the living room, your eyes flickering between every corner as you stayed standing on the couch. “I saw a spider, and I don’t know where it went. And you know how much I hate spiders. I had to make sure it didn’t crawl on me or something. Then I would’ve been the one having a heart attack.”

You sounded so unserious, but Rafe knew you were being completely genuine. Your fear of anything that had more than two legs was no joke, and he couldn’t count the times he’s killed something for you on both hands. 

“Plus, I’ve only been standing here for, like, five minutes,” you added, looking down at him and shrugging casually, as if you didn’t feel the way his grip tightened on you at your words. 

“Five minutes is too fucking long,” Rafe muttered, shaking his head afterwards as he leaned in and pressed his forehead against your belly. “You’re not thinking straight right now, are you? That’s the only logical explanation for this.”

His big hands stayed planted on your waist, keeping you steady as he pulled away and looked up at you, his blue eyes wide and full of nothing but adoration for you and the little life growing inside of you. 

“You’re going to give me gray hairs, you know that right?” he grunted, a smile forming on his lips when you let out a soft laugh. 

“Ooh, silver fox Rafe,” you teased, draping your arms around his neck as he helped you off the couch. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. You’d look so fucking hot with gray hair, baby. Like, so fucking sexy. So don’t tempt me.”

Rafe scoffed, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Silver fox? I’m twenty nine, baby, not forty,” he mumbled, “But, I guess if you like that sorta thing…who am I to judge?”

You laughed, leaning into his touch as you pressed your lips to his jaw. “I like anything that involves you,”

He smiled down at you, his hand coming up to tuck your hair behind your ear. “I like anything that involves you too, babygirl,” he murmured, leaning down so his lips brushed against yours. “Actually, I love everything that involves you.”

Then he was leaning all the way in and kissing you deeply and slowly, his hands sliding down your body until they grazed your ass, and then he was full on groping you through your leggings. 

You whined against his mouth, your lips pressing more firmly against his as you pulled him impossibly closer to you until your bump was pushing against his abs. “You always have to one up me, don’t you?” you muttered, “And what’s with you always grabbing my ass? You’ve been obsessed with it since we got together.”

Rafe smirked down at you. “Of course I’m obsessed with it, it’s part of you,” he replied, and you pressed your lips together. 

“You are so fucking sweet and sexy and I think we should go to our bedroom before I-” you cut yourself off by screaming directly into your husband’s face as you practically jumped back up onto the couch with wide eyes. 

Rafe didn’t even need to turn around to know that the eight legged creature who scared you before had made its big return. “What did I tell you?” he muttered, taking you into his arms as he lifted you from the couch. 

“Rafe! Stop, it’s literally right there and it’s so fucking big,” you protested as he carried you out of the living room and into the kitchen. Once he had you sitting safely at the breakfast bar, he slid the bag of food over for you to inspect as he grabbed a piece of paper towel. 

“Stay here, okay? Eat something,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before he walked back into the living room to find the harmless insect that had been tormenting you during the entire time he was gone. 

-

You were pulling Rafe along with you towards the bedroom, your lips all over his neck and jaw, but he was moving so slowly. You were now six months pregnant, and Rafe had become more and more protective of you, if that was even possible at this point. 

And while you loved him for it, his hesitation every time you initiated sex was making you go crazy. You were so turned on, and you needed your husband. 

“Rafe,” you moaned, bracing your hands on his shoulders as you walked backwards. “I need you. I need you so bad. Please? I promise, I won’t break.” you whined, nearly stumbling as you pulled him along with you. 

Rafe’s hands instantly tightened on your waist, his thumbs brushing along the underside of your belly as it pressed against his abs through his shirt. “Easy, babygirl,” he cooed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.” 

While you knew he wanted to be gentle and sweet with you, you also knew exactly how to rile him up and get him going. Rafe had been obsessed with your body since the second he first saw you completely bare, and his obsession had only intensified once your body began to change due to your pregnancy. 

You stepped back and pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your breasts that had grown so much, they were nearly spilling out of your bra. You watched Rafe bite his lip before you moved onto your leggings, and you stepped out of them and kicked them aside as well. 

Rafe groaned as he pulled off his own shirt and jeans, his hands finding your waist again as he moved to sit on the bed. “Come here,” he murmured, sliding your panties down your legs before he guided you onto his lap. 

You willingly went, a needy whine leaving your lips as you settled on top of him and pulled down his boxers, freeing his hard cock. “I love you,” you moaned, kissing him as you began to rub yourself along his dick. “I love you so much.”

He gripped your hips, guiding the slow rolls of your body. “I love you too, baby,” he groaned, “More than my next fucking breath.”

His words made your head feel all fuzzy, and he lifted you slightly to position himself at your soaked core. When he eased you back down onto his cock, you both let out a sound of relief as you came together as one, and you reveled in the feeling of his big hands on your body. 

“Fucking perfect,” he praised, his eyes hooded as his hands slid around to grip your ass gently.

You moaned loudly, holding onto his shoulders as you rolled your hips against his as best as you could with your bump persistently brushing against his stomach. “Fuck,” you whimpered, arching your back a bit and making your chest press right up against his. “Oh fuck, Rafe, you feel so good.” 

He felt so good, you were powerless to stop the loud moans from leaving your mouth as you rode him. Rafe’s hands slid up your back and fumbled with the clasp of your bra before he pulled the fabric away from your body, his palms immediately roaming over the newly exposed skin. “Fuck, babygirl, you’re so tight and wet for me. Sweet pussy was made for my cock,” he grunted, rolling your nipples between his fingers until they pebbled under his touch. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Then he was leaning in and kissing you deeply, his tongue brushing against yours as he met your bounces with upward thrusts of his hips. You moaned against his mouth, his words making your body heat up in a blush. You’d never get tired of hearing him say things like that. 

His hands moved to your belly, and he caressed it as he broke the kiss and buried his face against your shoulder. “God, you feel so good,” he moaned, making your blush deepen as you moved a little faster and a bit harder.

“Rafe,” you whimpered, tangling your fingers in his hair as you felt your thighs start to burn from over-exertion. “Oh, fuck…I’m gonna cum.” you warned, feeling the knot that had been steadily building up inside you start to tighten. 

Rafe grunted, reaching in between your bodies until the heel of his hand was pressed firmly against the underside of your belly and his fingers were brushing against your clit. “Yeah, cum for me, baby,” he murmured, his other hand moving to your hip as he guided you to take him a little harder. “I’m close too.”

His fingers pushed you over the edge, and your head fell forward onto his shoulder as you came for him. A cry left your lips as you weakly bounced on his lap, your legs shaking a bit as you pulled on his hair. “Fuck,” you gasped, wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders as you felt him thrust a few more times before he stilled.

A deep groan left the back of his throat as he held you close to him, his warmth filling you up from the inside out as he let out harsh pants against the side of your neck. “I’ll never get over that,” he muttered, placing soft kisses along your shoulder as he ran his hands up and down your back. “I’ll never get over you.”

You grinned as he gently eased you off him and moved back on the bed, taking you with him as he leaned back against the pillows. “Good,” you hummed as he turned you around and spooned you from behind. “Because I think you’re stuck with me for life.”

When you guided his big palm to rest on your belly, Rafe pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your head as his thumb rubbed along your swollen skin. “Good,” he echoed. “Because you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. You’re all I want in the world.”

A lazy smile formed on your lips as you snuggled back against him, and only a few seconds later, you had fallen asleep.

-

Not me working on my birthday again...thanks for reading x

[ranfordgallus]

I can't believe i made a whole ass species lore just for a wild kratts oc my god i never thought it could come this way but..thats the fun of it i guess LMAOO

Anyways..

Meet the Sickle-horned Equdore, a species of antelope found in the northern part of Kazakhstan where forests lie. Where their ancestors, the bluebuck, migrated from the south coast of africa to central asia.

The word Equdore (pronounced "eqoodor") means equine-like antelope, due to their appearance being similar to those of modern day horses though due to their two hooved they are not considered in the equus family.

The sexual dymorphism of the Sickle-horned Equdores are somewhat similar to those of deers or mooses, the male being bigger and more patterned with bigger horns. However not all male Sickle-horns have big horns, some have smaller horns usually from too much stress of poor diet during development of the horns growing, female Sickle-horns prefer those with bigger horns to show their health and potential. Male Sickle-horns are the only sex with the distinctive sickle shaped horns, hence their name.

Female Sickle-horned Equdores are slightly smaller than the male by a foot, however just because they are smaller than the males, does not mean they are small compared by a human, standing 8 feet tall. Female Sickle-horns have more curved horns that doesn't resemble an actual sickle, while the male horns of the Sickle-horned Equdore are shaped for both protection and attraction, female horns are only used for protection.

The social behavior of them are also similar to wild horses or chickens. One alpha male (fuck..i can't take that phrase seriously due to THOSE alpha male dudes you see in instagram reels or in podcasts..) and a herd, usually 8 to 15 females, the male provides safety and food by communicating that theres an abundance of food, if the male..example, finds a fruit tree, he will call the herd and let them eat first by helping to kick the tree so the fruits could fall down, easier to pick on, and the male will eat after a few have eaten already.

The unique part of the Sickle-horned Equdore is each pattern from each individual species are different, so they have their own set of pattern only own by those who bear it, making them easy to distinguish from others. And their fur is blue in colour, while not very blue, if you colorpicked their fur the color is more the blue area even though it looks more purple. Blue pigment is very- almost impossible in mammals, some "blue" furred mammals are usually more grey.

I also even made what the creature power suits of the species, both sex, though the powersuits are still a big smaller compared to the actual animal, they still stand around 7-8 feet. Poor chris, he's more teal and blue than his usual green colour, like the blue heron episode...

So what are the Sickle-horned Equdores known for other than their sickle-shaped horns and their blue fur?

They are famous for the creation of the mythical greek animal, the unicorn. When greek adventurers went to central asia, they discovered the rarest mutation of the Sickle-horns, the mutation that made them have a singular horn, while in real life unicorns were from the misinterpertation of rhinos, in my Wild Kratts universe, the unicorn mythology came from this species but historians theoried that it came from rhinoceros because they haven't found or rediscovered the species that created the famous fantasy animal in the first place.

This mutation is REALLY REALLY rare, less than 2 percent have this mutation that caused them to have a singular horn.

(Picture of Aoife and Einhorn. Oc on the left (Aoife) belongs to @martincrushcameback while Einhorn belongs to me.)

The burden of having such a unique birth defect is that you have a low chance of surviving or creating a herd of their own, female Sickle-horns with this condition are less likely to find a mate or a group to be accepted in, while males have a hard time to create their own herd, and their singular horn couldn't fight a male who already has a herd and they can't stand a chance, because whos more likely to win? A highly skilled person with two swords or the one that only has one and is average skilled?

One horns are so rare that records say only one was found, though many scientist disaproved the one horned as "not real" thinking the photo was painted to look like it had one horn, since they didn't believe that unicorns existed..lol

And Sickle-horned Equdores were once highly poached and hunted during the mongol empire, the people tried domesticating them so they could use them as a source of transportation for the extremely wealthy and war for the mightiest soldiers, unfortunately the domestication was a fail, so instead, they hunted them for their beautiful coat and horns for decor for the rich and those in power. So much that they reduced their population from a million to only 200 thousand left today. Their population is growing at a steady pace due to orginizations to protect these endangered animals. Fun fact, the Sickle-horned was rediscovered very early in the 1970's, historians found remnants of Sickle-horn hide and horns thinking these creatures are long extinct back in the 1900's.

Sooo..yeah, thats all i got for the species of Einhorn and Aoife..guuuhhh so much research..

Also, Equdore is a genus of antelope, meaning, like the big cat family including jaguars, tigers, lions and such, is their own family branch of the antelope family..MEANING...that there are other Equdore species not only existing to the Sickle-horned!

Also just to make sure Equdore is a fictional animal, there is no such genus of antelope called an Equdore..bah..

[7-deadly-cats]

killing me softly (part two)

kms masterlist | <- part one | part three (soon) ->

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!introverted!kook!reader

cw: swearing, y/n being an awkward mess, subtle and indirect mention of sexual themes

synopsys: it's the last year of high school and y/n is paired up with rafe cameron for a 2 week long project in art class. this wouldn't be a problem if y/n wasn't awkward as hell and well ... if there wasn't her big fat crush on him. could this be the beginning of a friendship or maybe even more? one thing was certain: rafe cameron's intense, impulsive, and complex in ways that weren't always for the better, and y/n's mind? that shit was even more tangled. but she hadn't spent seven years crushing on him from a distance just to let this chance slip through her fingers ... right?

summary of recent events: y/n and rafe were paired up for a 2 week-long art project. they agreed to meet during lunch break to start working on it. after y/n picked him up after PE, they headed for the school’s dining hall.

word count: 3.3k+

a/n: i don't have much to say for this one as it's just an immediate continuation of the last one but i'm very thankful for the likes and comments on the first part. i didn't expect any at all so a big thank you to everyone who decided to support <3 i hope you also enjoy this one as well :) (also super excited when i’ll get to future parts where y/n gets to be more silly :3)

Important: I started using dividers after chat convos that include more than one screenshot, so you guys know when to switch back to the written story. Yk you usually click on the image to get a full-screen mode to read the messages easier, so whenever the blue rectangle image pops up, you know when to back out. Makes it easier to avoid potential spoilers, hope that makes sense :P

The dining hall at Kildare Academy was moderately full. Most students’ classes were already over, and a lot of Kooks went to the restaurants down the street, even though the serving station offered fresh high-quality food.

Okay, fries weren’t exactly healthy but they probably made them from potatoes grown specifically for Kooks (yes, as a Kook yourself, you were their biggest hater).

Whatever. The dining hall wasn’t the reason your heart was about to explode in your chest.

No. You were having lunch.

With. Rafe. Cameron.

If someone had told you this morning, you would’ve laughed.

Because, hello??? Rafe had been your crush since you’d first set foot in Kildare Academy in fifth grade.

Okay, not exactly special—what Figure 8 girl hadn’t had a crush on Rafe at some point?

But that wasn’t the point. This whole ... thing just felt so surreal.

A crush had always been just that—a crush. You weren’t the type to walk up to a guy and say, Hey, you’re cute, let’s go on a date. That would mean putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable.

And the last thing you ever wanted was to be seen.

Not in a physical way. That was unavoidable. No, what scared you was someone actually seeing you, the parts of yourself you kept locked away.

Ew, that sounded so fucking dramatic.

So while your 11-year-old self was doing backflips of joy, your 18-year-old self was having a full-blown existential crisis.

Okay, maybe not that bad.

“You were right,” Rafe said, pulling you from your thoughts. He was sitting across from you, pushing his fork through his quinoa-veggie bowl.

You eyed him confused. “About what?”

Rafe nodded toward your fries, the corner of his lips tugging into a subtle smile. “I am a fries guy. Quinoa tastes like shit and rocks.”

You glanced at his bowl before meeting his gaze again, a knowing smile on your face. “I guess it’s the color. Red and black ones are usually more bitter and more firm than their white counterparts.”

Rafe raised a brow, amused. “As a quinoa expert, you could’ve warned me.”

Your cheeks heated. You kind of had, with that dumb joke outside the gym earlier. “I thought you already knew what it tasted like.”

“I do,” he shrugged, taking a bite of his bowl anyway. “Maybe I just didn’t want you to label me as the fries guy.”

Wait—was that a joke? And why did he care what you thought about him?

God, I suck at whatever this is.

So you just forced a chuckle and took a sip of your water.

…

…

...

Shit.

Now there was that awkward silence you always dreaded in conversations.

Okay, okay, stay calm.

Should I say something? Should I offer him my fries?

You almost laughed. Hell no, that’d be so weird. Plus the quinoa part of his bowl didn’t even take up a third of the whole meal.

You wished Cara were here. She’d know exactly what to say and how to act. She went on dates all the time, made out with guys at parties just for fun, and could hold a normal fucking conversation with a guy she was interested in.

“So, you like… a real artist or something?” Rafe asked absentmindedly, breaking the unbearable silence. “Since you picked Art as an elective?”

You looked up, quickly swallowing the bite of fries in your mouth before giving him a nervous smile. “Yeah, I mean—no, I wouldn’t call myself a real artist, not like Da Vinci or such.” You let out an awkward laugh. “I just draw sometimes when I’m bored.”

Jesus Christ, did he have to look at you like that? His blue eyes were drilling into your entire existence.

Rafe nodded. “Digital or traditional?”

You blinked at him, stunned.

How the fuck did Frat Boy Rafe Cameron know the difference between digital and traditional art?

Your expression made him smirk. And as if he had read your thoughts, he said, “My little sister Wheezie draws random shit on her iPad all the time.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, figured it was a thing—”

“No, I mean—yes, totally,” you blurted, immediately turning red because you just cut him off. “Most people start with pencil and paper but drawing on a tablet or iPad is just as legit. Um… so, yeah … I do both, to answer your question.” You smiled awkwardly.

Help, he would’ve had a more entertaining conversation with a rock.

Rafe barely raised a brow, a lazy smile on his lips. “It’s cool that you draw. Guess I got lucky having you as my partner for this project.”

WHAT.

Okay, everything’s chill.

NO, NOTHING WAS CHILL.

Is he flirting with me??? Is he just being nice ??? WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN.

What were you even supposed to reply to that?

Hahaha, thanks, did you know I made our Sims get married in eighth grade? Topper was your best man by the way.

WHAT THE FUCK, NO, STOP.

Whatever, just say something. Anything.

“Thanks,” you mumbled with an embarrassed smile, eyes fixed on your fries and salad.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Rafe lean back, pushing his half-eaten bowl aside. He shrugged. “Only sucks for you. Art’s not really my thing.”

No shit.

Also, what was that supposed to mean? Was he fishing for a compliment? Like Aww, no, come on, I’m sure you’re great at it.

Holy shit. Was Rafe Cameron secretly a pick-me guy? Were all these years crushing on him wasted?

“Yeah, I figured. Most people just take art class thinking it’ll be an easy A”, you said before he could say more and give you the ick.

OH my god, take it back, take it back—

When you saw his expression, you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back. He looked… surprised? Confused? Maybe a little offended…?

Then the tension in his face eased. His lips twitched slightly before curving into a lopsided grin, making him look unexpectedly boyish.

“Shit, yeah. Guess that makes me ‘most people’”, he said with such ease, it was like you hadn’t just called him out.

How the hell did he manage to turn all your miserable attempts at a normal conversation into something so smooth? If you were in his place, you would've already walked out and dropped art class.

Yo, Mr Smith, this chick you paired me up with, she’s got the social skills of a dead fish.

This was so frustrating. It wasn’t like you were socially incompetent—not really—but around him, your brain just seemed to completely shut down.

“That’s not what I meant,” you said, furrowing your brows, annoyed at your own nervousness.

“Nah, it’s true,” Rafe replied, shrugging. Then he looked at you, a teasing edge in his voice. “So, if your art grade tanks, you know who to blame.”

Okayyy, he was either trying to get on your good side or looking for a smooth way out of this project—and you weren’t sure which was worse.

You swallowed your last fry and gave a chuckle. I sound like a fake ass bitch. “I’m sure you'll manage. Art is not about drawing perfectly — it’s more about the ideas and how you approach them.”

Jesus, you sounded just like Mr. Smith.

Rafe’s lips twitched into a cocky smirk. “Alright, then I guess you’ll have to help me be more creative.”

...

HUH?

OKAY. I MEAN SURE.

Be for fucking real, did he even realize what his words did to you?

Of course, he did—he probably flirted with girls daily. Or was he just lucky to be born with full charisma stats?

Probably both.

God, this was so embarrassing. Your face probably screamed HI CAN YOU MARRY ME, and to him, you were just some random Kook girl he was stuck with for a boring art project.

Okay, wait no.

Now YOU sounded like a pick-me.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” you said, cheeks pink, before clearing your throat to change the subject. “Okay, so… maybe we should start brainstorming some ideas? Like a mind map or mood board or something?”

Rafe leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table, and you had to fight the urge to glance at his biceps which flexed slightly as he moved. “Mood board? You talking about Pinterest type shit?”

Okay, wow, Rafe was absolutely not the type of guy you thought he was. Did he know about this stuff from Wheezie? Or some friends-with-benefits girlie?

Um, no, Y/N, none of your business.

You gave him a quick nod. “Yeah, something like that. We can also just start by writing stuff down.”

Rafe shrugged in agreement. “Okay.”

Okay.

He looked at you expectantly.

Ugh, did he really expect YOU to be the one taking notes?

Well, crush or not, he was still just a guy, after all.

You reached for the iPad in your bag, grabbed the Apple Pencil, and opened the Notes app.

As you scribbled down today’s date and gave the note a title, Rafe leaned in even closer, glancing at your screen. “Is this the iPad you use for drawing?”

He was so close now, his woody-aquatic aftershave filling your nose, giving you a strange feeling in your chest … and a very special part in your lower body.

“Yeah,” you replied shortly.

“Show me something then.”

“No.”

HUH?

“No?” Rafe’s gaze flicked from the screen to your flushed face, his lips curling into a crooked grin. There was a cocky glimmer in his gaze.

Good heavens, up close his eyes looked even more beautiful. They were the kind of blue people wrote bad poetry about. To you, they were a pretty contradiction—cold in color, warm in the way they lingered on your own eyes.

Heart racing, you looked away and laughed nervously. “I mean… maybe we should focus on the project first, you know, time pressure and all.”

With an amused scoff, Rafe leaned back again, glancing at his phone (wow, rude) for a second before saying, “To the boring part then."

Somehow it felt like you'd scratched his ego.

Girl, how could you mess up this badly? He probably thought you were some pretentious nerd now.

“So… do you have any ideas?” You twirled the Apple Pencil in your fingers, just praying for this painfully long lunch break to end.

Rafe pressed his lips together, scratching his jaw. The glass of his Rolex reflected a spectrum of lights under the ceiling’s lights. “Uh… dunno. What’s the prompt again? A modern take on the Greek gods?”

“A reinterpretation,” you corrected — then realizing you sounded like a know-it-all, so you quickly added, “but yeah, a modern version could definitely count.”

He nodded absentmindedly, fingers drumming on the table. “Okay, so…", he gave a dry laugh and ran a hand over his face. "Shit, what a stupid prompt."

You chewed the inner part of your cheeks. Okay, he clearly had zero interest in spending his free period working on some elective class’ project with you.

But it had been his idea to meet during lunch, you reminded yourself.

Forcing a smile, you offered, “We can always do this later. We still have two weeks.”

Rafe raised a brow. “You got plans or something?”

Oh. Guess that didn’t go over well.

You shook your head. “No, but if you’re not feeling it—”

“I’m not,” he cut in, his fingers stopping their steady rhythm against the table. “But we’re already here, so.”

That didn’t sound very motivated.

“Yeah, I guess”, you said, cringing at the sudden bitterness in your tone.

By the shift in Rafe’s expression, he must have noticed but before he had a chance to comment on it, you quickly picked up on what he’d said earlier. “So, a modern version of Olympus sounds fun. Maybe we can make it about the gods’ roles in today’s society or something like that.”

Rafe eyed you quietly, his expression impossible to read. He then tilted his head, scratching his nose. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe Zeus as the CEO of Olympus Industries or some shit. He’s the big boss, right? And everyone else just kinda works for him.”

Your lips curled into a soft smile. A corporate structure? Why were you not surprised.

“What?” He looked genuinely confused.

You shook your head, cheeks heating up again. “Nothing, that’s… that’s good.”

He raised his brows, a challenging tone in his voice. “You think it’s crap.”

“No,” you replied quickly, then adopted a more serious expression. “Really, it’s a nice take. Maybe his wife — Hera I mean — could be his girl boss PR manager, always cleaning up his scandals?”

A grin tugged at his lips, and with that, the weird tension in the air seemed to fade. “Shit, isn’t she also his sister? Well, yeah, guess she’s gotta cover up his dozen affairs. That guy’s a huge player.”

Okay, real talk—where did he get all this information from? He really didn’t seem like the guy to be interested in greek mythology.

It was cute though.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “You seem to be an expert in this field.”

He scoffed amused, leaning back into his chair. His eyes mustered you with a strange mix of entertainment and irritation. “You think I'm a fuckboy or some shit?”

You furrowed your brows in confusion. Huh? What did he mean—

…

Did he-- ... OH SHIT.

A revolting feeling spread in your stomach and your cheeks probably invented a new shade of red.

WHY ON EARTH HAD YOU PHRASED IT LIKE THAT?!

Some evil gods or spirits must be messing with you right now because there was no way this situation could get any more awkward.

Frantically, you shook your head. “What? I… oh my god, no. NO! I was referring to the Greek gods. Not… you don’t give off such vibes. I mean, it’s none of my business anyway.”

Hey, if there’s a sniper out there, please take me out.

In your mind, you already estimated the cost of moving to another country. Canada had pretty landscapes and New Zealand--

A laugh escaped his lips — cocky, yet carrying a certain warmth. It made your heart stop and race at the same time.

“Relax,” he said bemused, leaning forward with his arms crossed, biceps flexing again. “People have said worse things to my face.”

No, this didn’t sit right with you.

You shook your head again, daring to meet his eyes. “No, I’m serious, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just … surprised about your knowledge of Greek mythology.” You froze, realizing this also sounded stupid. “Not that I took you for clueless…” Shit. You sighed. “It was stupid of me to phrase it like that and I don’t want you to think I take you for a fuckboy. It’s a shitty term anyway.”

Your nerves were going crazy and you fidgeted with the case of your iPad, waiting for his response.

Rafe silently STARING at you didn’t help at all. He seemed … surprised, maybe a little perplexed even.

SAY SOMETHING PLEASE.

“Alright”, he finally said, his usual cocky expression returning to his face. He slightly shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze for just a second but long enough for you to notice. “Guess I picked up a bit from Wheezie when she had to do a presentation for school or whatever. She couldn't shut up about it. Shit was annoying as hell.”

For a moment, you didn't know what to respond. Why wasn't he offended? Why didn't he mock you for being so awkward?

You smiled, trying to relax your nerves. “Sounds like we could use her little expert knowledge on this project.”

Rafe gave a low chuckle. “Well, I believe we’ve already got a little expert right here”, he said with a crooked smile, his eyes burning a hole into your soul.

Oh. My. God.

The teasing edge in his voice made your brain shut down. This had to count as flirting, right? RIGHT?!

You chuckled nervously, cheeks a deep shade of red, and placed the Apple Pencil back on the screen. “Then I hope whatever I picked up from reading Percy Jackson will be enough.“

That's it, Y/N, you are officially banned from doing any more jokes.

-----------------------------------------------

In English class, you could finally breathe again.

Your suffering was over.

During the rest of the lunch break, Rafe and you had talked about some more ideas. Gladly, you hadn’t embarrassed yourself any further (if that was even possible because you’d definitely reached your peak today).

At the end of lunch, Topper had picked him up and they’d left for their own English class. Your goodbyes had been a little awkward but you’d managed.

Right now, you were grateful they didn’t attend the same class as you because you certainly didn’t want to listen to them laughing about what a weird ass person you were.

Okay, just breathe. I did it, it’s over.

You tried to concentrate on whatever Mrs. Andrade was talking about but only half the students truly paid attention.

Afternoons in the Outer Banks truly were a cruel thing.

So you decided to check your phone:

Sighing quietly, you put your phone away and rubbed your temples. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind, yet at the same time, it felt so empty.

Maybe I'm lucky and tomorrow I’ll wake up to a big newsflash: This just came in, Kildare Academy was reduced to ashes by a sudden fire.

But when had you ever been lucky?

Your phone buzzed again but you really didn’t feel like talking and thinking about Rafe anymore.

This guy had thrown you off track in just an hour but in the best and worst way possible.

And even though every part of you wanted to run from the thought of seeing him again — the way that uncomfortable feeling in your chest wouldn’t let up — there was still a small part of you that found yourself oddly eager to see him again, work with him on that stupid little project and listen to his stupid little laugh.

Because somehow in just sixty minutes you’d learned more about Rafe Cameron than you had in nearly seven years at Kildare Academy.

For instance, he was a lot kinder than you’d expected. Not that you’d ever thought he was like a high school movie bully or some shit but his occasional soft smiles and the way he didn't mock you when you'd said some stupid shit had definitely surprised you.

Plus he seemed to care about his little sister which was such an attractive attribute (and the bare minimum let's be honest).

All of this was so strange.

It sounded stupid but Rafe Cameron had always been just a concept to you. A crush you enjoyed looking at and maybe making up your own little idea of (and some scenarios to fall asleep to be for real).

But now he was... real and—

Bzzrt.

Seriously, Cara had class too—and with Ms. Langford, no less. And unlike Mrs. Andrade, she wasn’t exactly chill.

You picked up your phone again, expecting some delusional text messages—but the moment you saw the notification on your lock screen, your heart stopped.

No fucking way.

NO. FUCKING. WAY.

Holding your breath, you unlocked your phone, and the second your eyes landed on the profile picture, your heart took off in a full sprint. You didn’t even register Mrs. Andrade calling your name.

Because by some strange twist of fate, Rafe Cameron had gotten your number and decided to text you—after what you were sure had been your ultimate humiliation today.

You didn’t know whether to grin, cheer, or jump out of your seat—shit, maybe all three—but instead, you just sat there, wondering if there really was a god of luck and if he’d just decided to bless you.

-----------------------------------------------

kms masterlist | <- part one | part three (soon) ->

-----------------------------------------------

Taglist (open):

@ursogorgeous13 @my-name-is-baby @moneybaby07 @jjasmiineee

[lovelizards]

It all happened so fast.

One second Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail were all huddled around the table in his room, rolling up new characters for their game of Solarion Chronicles, and the next second his bedroom door had been thrown open by a stranger with slicked back hair and grey gloves.

"H - hey!" Sebastian jumped up, more angry than frightened, "What the hell? Who - who are -?"

"Just a friendly government agent. I'm looking for the boy called Sebastian." The stranger said, his tone sharp as a knife, and his cold eyes flicking between him and Sam.

"Actually, I'm Sebastian," Abigail said, leaning on Sebastian's shoulder with a sarcastic frown.

"I thought it was my turn to be Sebastian!" Sam insisted, as both he and Abigail crowded close around him. Sebastian would have been grateful, if he hadn't noticed the very real-looking gun in the stranger's hand.

"Cute," the man levelled his gun at the three of them.

Abigail froze, her hand gripping his sleeve. Sam let out a shocked breath, then raised a slow, protective arm in front of the two of them.

"Do...do you have a warrant?" Sebastian asked, his nerves making the words feel heavy and strange in his mouth. But, the man looked like some kind of government suit. He had an ID card hanging around his neck, and fancy shoes.

"Yeah!" Sam insisted, "This is messed up! You can't just walk into someone's house and threaten them at gun-point!"

But the man didn't respond.

He crossed the room in a few steps, and grabbed hold of Sebastian's arm. The guy was strong, stronger than he looked, and a manic sort of fear overcame Sebastian in that moment. He yelled, and fought, wrestling with the hand holding him.

Sam jumped on the guy, shouting something about calling the cops - though all of them knew that there were no cops local to the valley.

But Sam was barely an annoyance to the guy, and for one horrific second Sebastian thought was going to shoot at Sam.

Instead, he raised the gun up and cracked him in the head with the butt of the gun. The force of it made Sam's eyes roll to the back of his head, and sent him to the floor.

"Sam!" Abigail rushed over to him as Sebastian was getting dragged away, "You prick! What the fuck is your problem?!"

Again, nothing from the government agent.

He just dragged Sebastian bodily up the stairs, past his sobbing mom and a stony-faced Demetrius, and out into the cold evening in his socks.

Sebastian dug his feet into the dirt, he tried to trip the guy, he aimed punches and kicks anywhere he could, until eventually he got some kind of reaction.

The man let go of his arm for just a second, and then nailed him in the eye with a punch that nearly knocked him on his ass. The pain burst through his head, it burned and throbbed, and it took him a second to regain his balance.

"Quit making this hard, kid," the government agent instructed, "You're not the one I'm after, so - hey!

Sebastian didn't wait for him to finish, he bolted.

But he only made it a few rushed steps before the blast of a gunshot rang his head, and a searing pain ripped through his shoulder.

He stopped, tense, trembling, the fear of being faced with a real ass gun, something that could kill him in an instant - rather than something only from video games - slowly dawning on him.

The man's heavy footsteps came up behind him, and a strong hand turned him around; "You get it now? I don't want to hurt you, but I will. This'll be easier for you if you just comply. Now come on."

He grabbed the front of Sebastian's hoodie, and started pulling him stumbling along, up past the train tracks, towards the summit of the mountain.

Sebastian wasn't sure how much time had passed as he stood there, trembling from the cold and from the fear, near the sharp drop of the summit. Eventually, though, he heard running footsteps coming up the stairs and started.

The man adjusted his grip on Sebastian's hoodie, his leather gloves squeaking quietly, as the two of them watched Eve come sprinting into the summit clearing.

Wait, Eve?

Sebastian blinked.

"Eve?" He asked.

"Sebastian!" Eve cried. She was panting heavily, and clutching a crumpled piece of paper in her hands.

"Eve -Agh -!"

The government agent yanked on his hoodie, and then shoved him out further towards the stretch of open sky. His sock feet tried and failed to grip the loose dirt under him.

"We've been waiting for you, 3V3..."

Sebastian tried to catch his panicked breath. All he could do was grab hold of the man's arm for dear life, and try to stop his heart from beating right out of his chest.

"Eve!" He called, his voice breaking, "Be careful! This guy is dangerous!"

Eve's shoulders were raised, her hands hung at her sides but they were tensed into fists, the way they always were when she was trying to pretend she was fine.

"Let him go," she said, her voice struggling to stay level. She threw the paper to the ground, a letter of warning with a map to the summit, "You want me, you've got me. So let him go."

"How loyal, 3V3. And here I thought you were just toying with the kid, playing at being a human. You're full of surprises."

The man pulled a pair of expensive looking handcuffs from his pocket - awkwardly, trying to manage the gun at the same time. The cuffs were dull grey, and looked electronic, like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

He tossed them into the dirt at Eve's feet, but said nothing else.

Eve stared down at them for only a second.

"E - Eve, wait - don't! Don't - " Sebastian tried to call, but he faltered and his teeth clicked together sharply as the gun was trained on him again.

"It's okay, Sebastian," Eve said, let out a long, trembling breath.

She picked the handcuffs up, and calmly secured them around her own wrists. The little LED lights lit up once they were on, and an electronic beep echoed out over the quiet of the summit.

"No...no, Eve..."

Eve looked up at the agent with a teary glare.

"Now let him go."

"Hah!" The agent gave one sharp tug on the front of Sebastian's hoodie, and then threw him forward onto the ground. He went sprawling, his legs like jelly, and landed hard on his hands and knees.

"Give me five minutes with him," Eve said, her voice low and kind of scary, serious in a way Sebastian had never heard her be before.

Even the agent faltered, then huffed a sigh.

"Two minutes."

Eve rushed over to Sebastian, dropping down onto her knees and reaching her cuffed hands out towards him. Sebastian had already pulled himself up, he held her arms, looking down at the handcuffs, trying to remove them.

"Eve - Eve, wait - we can figure this out -!"

"It's okay, Sebastian - listen to me -"

" - let - let me try to, just hold on -"

" - Sebastian. Sebastian!"

Eve stilled his frantic hands, clasping them in her own.

"I can't just let him take you..." Sebastian groaned, lowering his head so she couldn't see the infuriating shine of tears in his eyes.

Eve pulled him into a tight hug, her face buried in his hair, and her voice a broken whisper in his ear.

"Go to Rasmodius. The wizard - go find him in Cindersnap. Tell him what happened - tell him to contact Mr. Qi -"

"W - wait - wh - who? Eve, w -"

"Time's up." The agent called, his footsteps a threatening sound as he approached.

"Do what I said, Sebastian - it'll be okay - agh!"

Eve was hauled up by her wrists, and even though she didn't try to fight or get away, the agent handled her roughly. Sebastian felt the fire of fury in his gut, but shock and sorrow were too strong to overcome.

"Please just let her go!" He shouted, hating how much like a little kid he sounded and scrambling up to his feet as the agent started dragging Eve away.

"Stay right there, kid."

Sebastian stared down the barrel of the agent's gun, desperate to chase after them, but frozen in his spot.

"It's okay - it's okay Sebastian!" Eve kept saying, and then, "Take - take care of Reggie for me! And - and the farm animals! Please -!"

Sebastian opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything else, the agent pressed a finger to his ear, muttered something, and both he and Eve flickered out of sight - leaving him alone on the summit, with strange instructions to follow, and a terrible ache in his chest.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Okay so. It seems I'm in the minority about not liking the Spike-With-A-Soul plot. I've not really interacted with the Buffy fandom before this so its wild to me this is how people view it. Because the thing is...

Buffy is at its best, always, when it rejects the concept of ontological evil Vs good and of all the shows from that era (charmed is a big one that comes to mind) I think Buffy when it got a few seasons under its belt was one of the best shows at rejecting the ontological evil Vs ontological good mindset despite the fact that it's a monster of the week show. Oz, Buffy, Faith, Spike, Buffy, Willow, Harmony, Xander, Riley, Anya, Warren, Jonathan, Andrew - all of these characters are continuously used to show moral complexity, particularly that goodness is a choice and what does it mean to be a harm to others?

And spike epitomises that. He is the monster who suddenly had to deal with not being allowed to kill people; which led him to form bonds (particularly with Buffy and Dawn, but I'd argue he makes bonds with the rest of the Scoobies bar maybe Xander too) which led him into empathy and trying to do good even when it came at his own expense. There is this lingering question by season 6 with spike; if you removed his chip would he go back to how he was in season 2? Would he kill and maime and torture, or would he make the choice to be good just like the rest of the Scoobies have to do daily even when giving in would be easier.

And I think spike would have a wobble sure, very Anya esque in that regard, but I think he'd ultimately just like Anya NOT find it easy to go back to being 'evil' after having his chip removed even without a soul. And the lore implications to that are FACINATING and way cooler to explore than like. Soul = good, not soul = bad.

And also...I know people are like 'he was irredmiable after seeing red so it had to happen so we could like him again' but uhhhh that's actually one of the reasons I DONT like spike getting a soul. It really feels like the writers wanted a cop out, a way for us to go on shipping and engaging with Spuffy and absolve Spike. See he did a terrible thing but he can still be your pathetic little favourite wet man because we gave him a get out of jail free card! And that's just...kinda nothing to me? I mean sure he worked for that soul, did the trials, but it's not the same as actively having to deal with doing a terrible, unforgivable thing and where you go from there. It's just. It feels so cheap. Like they wanted the 'edgy, brutal' scene but they didn't ACTUALLY want the consequences so oops he's got a soul now don't worry about it he can still be your fav little guy. (And yeah, I mean. I do think the writers would have struggled with spike after seeing red if they didn't do something drastic - but if they weren't willing to grapple with it they shouldn't have done it, otherwise it just feels even more ick to me ya know.)

Idk I like season 7 for what it is but I think ultimately it was a backslide from so many interesting things set up in season 6, even willow kinda goes back to having good Vs bad sides rather than just being a complex individual with capacity for both. And spike is the Biggie for me because I'd have MUCH rather had the plot of 'buffy removes spikes chip and trusts that he's become a better person and doesn't need it anymore' than 'spike has a soul now so he's chill'. Also I think it would have made his plot with the first and potential killing waaaaay more engaging if they hadn't been able to write it off with 'but he has a SOUL now'.

(I think a really interesting plot would have been everyone THINKS spike has a soul even spike but it turns out he DOESNT and what the fuck does THAT mean?)

[nellynee]

Dear Hazbin Hotel Fandom (with special note for reader insert fic writers at bottom)

Been thinking about Hazbin and like, economy, and infrastructure, and fucking culture in hell. And I like to imagine that earth is like, modern age if not a bit further into the future, and Hell is just so far behind

And I see most writers attribute this to old powers that be more or less forcing people to adhere to their affections, but I feel like it's so much more complex than that.

Like if there's any kind of infrastructure in place, like say, oh IDK utilities, that infrastructure in modern times relies very heavily on established modern infrastructure built before it, and a certain degree of cultural niceties to leave it alone, as well as all the means in terms of sourcing labor, resources, and cold hard cash for its construction and continued upkeep.

Which is near impossible in a place like hell. A place where at least once a year, the ritual killing of the masses leads to huge turf wars set to destroy said infrastructure. In such a every man for himself society, who's making sure these roads aren't full of potholes and the lights stay on?

Which leads to a very easy answer, Overlords. This is why Overlords own millions of souls. It's the expected currency for stability. Overlords oversee a certain degree of infrastructure, normalization of life. Depending on your deal, Overlords might guarantee a base degree of normalcy in exchange for souls. Like you might get better rental opportunities in areas where the buildings aren't likely to be torn down regularly. You get running water and electricity, books and other entertainment, access to better food, security during large scale danger events (including the exterminations) ect. And refusing to sell your soul could severely limit opportunities. Imagine if everyone is born into poverty, and you are only allowed the chance to access middle class jobs, houses, ect if you cut off a finger. Everyone does it, you aren't using it anyways, and your life gets significantly easier if you do....

But yeah I think people who write for the fandom are seriously understating the actual affects the lack of a central government probably has on the different areas of the city, and what it actually means to be an Overlord, and why things work the way they do.

Like I am 1000% sure there's no mail in hell. Like mailmen and carriers and an organization system. Unless an Overlord was particularly invested in it... No I think for a very long time long distance communication took place through hired help. People specifically paid for or in one's employ to carry personal missives on an immediate basis as needed. Delivery men. This is why Vox's electronics are such a hit. It provides a degree of luxury unknown to the masses before this; or known of and since lost and have nostalgia for.

I also firmly believe that this is still how Overlords and influentials communicate. Vox's infrastructure is convenient, but it would require seceeding a degree of independence powerful people can't afford to give up. You can order one of your souls to take a message and others to protect them, but to use a phone is to put your communication network in the hands of someone else, and a potential enemy at that.

Lack of infrastructure aside, I also don't want to understate the effects of only a certain percentage of the populace being present has. 100% of the people dropping into hell can know what a blender is, but if not a single souls who drops down knows how one works, then hell just straight up doesn't have blenders. Which is another factor into a lot of the lingering old timey feel of Hell. Technology has to be invented on earth, then become popularized enough that the knowledge of its creation beats out the numbers dropping into hell and it can be made. Not to mention someone has to be interested enough to let it be made in the first place. This is why some Overlords center around such singular niches. They were passionate enough to teach themselves in life the knowledge needed to build that particular luxury from scratch. Even if it had been decades since development in earth, the knowledge just doesn't migrate well.

I also imagine this having a huge impact on the entertainment industry. Lots of writers go on about old songs but not one has the guts to claim an artists is in hell and still making their art in hell

Can you imagine the cutthroat industry developed around having to claw your way up through hundreds of years of new music and nostalgia when your own fan base is still mostly on earth and the other artists have had centuries or decades to establish themselves?

Which brings me to my last and most important point..... Shoes. Well, shoes and clothing, and mass production.

It just ain't fucking happening in Hell.

One, in sure the Pride ring is getting some of their commerce from other rings. I'm talking consumables. Textiles and food. This is also a city spanning millions of people, and what hydroponics isn't used to grow pot is probably being sponsored by Overlords to grow produce for their souls. Which means some production but not nearly enough to feed the city. Which means food probably looks like a large majority of people eating hell based produce from outside the ring, with dedicated smuggling rings (like what we see with IMP, travelers who bring earth commerce home, I'm guessing Lust ring Incu/Sucubi looking for side gigs) bringing back seeds, cuttings, and cultural touchstones like movies, books, and music to be mass copied and distributed. Those living in certain areas or with the right amount of cash can pay for produce grown from that smuggled earth produce.

Meat is predominantly hell born in nature, probably produced from Wrath, and Sloth's oceans, with an uncomfortably large supplemental of cannibalistic meat being corpses harvested by street folk and sold to butchers for cheap, cooked and sold Sweeney Todd style. I do think Cannibalism is far more widespread and normalized than most are comfortable thinking, for practical reasons. There are just so many dedicated cannibals in the colony alone...look, there is neither space for cows nor a means to get them down there.

In any case, clothing.

This is a huge pet peeve for me in fics because I don't think anyone really thinks this one through, the sheer volume of the fashion industry in its infrastructure and how much of that Hell is lacking

Not to even mention that everyone is hell is shaped weird. Head to toe. Weird bodies all the time. Everywhere.

I just don't think mass produced clothing is a thing. Or at least nearly a refined as earth. Off the rack shit is probably very plain, and very vaguely shaped. Lots of missing sleeves, wide arm holes, drawstrings and buttons. The bare minimum. The cloth equivalent of fig leaves. Pride based clothing outlets, if there is any mass production, probably base their shapes a lot of Imps and Hellhounds and mostly humanoid with four limb, just to have a consistent customer base and hope they get lucky with hellborn. You probably have to pay to have a pattern made for your body and then have basic shit seen up from there or learn to do it yourself. Lots of people earning side cash sewing garbage clothes for cheap. Dudes with a bunch of ink and a screen printing custom graphic tees from their apartment making bank.

And don't even get me started on shoes. Most people have hooves or paws, and if they don't have that, there's a sizable chance they won't even have feet. There just isn't mass produced shoes. There physically can't be. There is no consistency in size. It is literally not possible.

All to say, sewing is probably a pretty valuable skill to have. Tailors and cobblers are probably both valued jobs and incredibly necessary. It's also probably pretty damn expensive. Which is actually why we don't see a lot of shoes, and why some folks are strange about clothes. It's just not practical anymore. And it's wildly expensive. Why go through the bother of getting a tailor or cobbler to make time and then get charged through the nose for something that might get destroyed or stolen soon anyways?

Which brings me to my special comment

Dear Reader insert writers. Specifically the Reader/Alastor crew, but this is pretty blanket

Unless your OC, or the clothing, is a very specific shape, Angel is not loaning your OC nothing in terms of textiles. Think real hard about whether your OC's feet will fit into one of his custom made boots... Really think about it. The love is there, but it's Hell. Let your OC struggle with everything. They can't get housing because everywhere outside an Overlord's domain is full and they can't rent without trading their soul to an overlord. They have trouble finding non human meat or palatable produce or even coffee. Their clothes are coming apart at the seams and laundry mats don't exist. Its hell, it's hard, and it's not made for them. If Angel ends them anything, it's gonna fit like a nightmare or be secondhand from another hooker and look like it. And it's going to be expensive AF

This is especially for you Alastor shippers. Textiles work a lot closer to how it functioned in his time than ours. In fact it probably functions closer to Rosie's time than his. And something I need you to remember is courting etiquette. Because I often see this overlooked. The best example I have for this is the song "baby it's cold outside", which viewed through the modern lense sounds like a creepy preamble to that poor woman being accosted, but in the lense of the time period it was written, is seen a feminine strong song, a woman using the tools available of her time to openly flirt and accept an offer to stay overnight. And while most people remember that Al comes from a time where gifting is used to show affection, I don't think they remember why that is. Like yes, there can be, and probably should be, a certain degree of possessiveness involved, given where we are and who we are talking about. But we must remember that this was a time period before women could divorce their husbands in the US. These gifts had social meaning. Women couldn't own property, were discouraged from jobs after settling down, and just didn't have the means to care for themselves. Expensive clothing and jewels were a statement. It told the community that the husband could, and did, provide for his wife financially. It gave the woman tangible items that, if properly cared for, would provide her with capital enough that should her husband die before her, he could be her only husband, that she wouldn't be forced to remarry. It a statement of of societal expectation, but also of how much he cared for her well being. And this is an aspect I see missing from Alastor's commentary. Yes there is a magical aspect of protection often employed, but he doesn't lavish his beau with Fur coats and hand crafted hats with obnoxiously bejeweled pins and easily displayed but hard to care for items that are as much a declaration of love in value as they are in attention. The closest I've ever seen is the fics by corruptedteacups, in which the flapper set gifted to the MC is described just as much in its beauty as the sheer quality of the fabric and beading involved. It feels substantial and expensive.

Just a small fandom peeve of mine, but some desperately needed context and depth I hope people think on.

[queermasculine]

do you have any workout tips? i literally have no idea what i’m doing, should i be joining a gym or working out at home ? what’s important to work on specifically?

i don't wanna embarrass myself by trying to tell you what parts of your body to work on when i don't really know what i'm doing either (everybody's different and just googling how to get the type of muscle you want where you want it will probably yield more accurate info than what i can give you) but i will say that the key for me personally has been to just be a serious realist about what kind of exercises i'll actually be able to do with any kind of consistency

i think a lot of people make the mistake of looking up a guide that says something like "do these moves 20 times a day, every other day" and when they can't get to 20 or can't do it every other day they're like fuck i failed and give up. when a more helpful strategy when you're starting out is to 1.) find exercises that are comfortable for you to do, offering a bit of challenge but not so much that they're immediately exhausting, 2.) count how many times you can do those exercises until you're like "okay this burns too bad / i'm fucking bored", and then just 3.) try to beat your own record a couple of times a week. doesn't even have to be the same days every week, semi-consistency is enough in my experience (if you're not trying to be a pro athlete)

this approach has been more helpful for me than trying to follow a detailed routine full of goals set by someone who never even met me. also helps to know that missing a week doesn't mean my previous progress went anywhere & i can pick things up again anytime i want. a gym membership helps some people stay motivated but personally i find it easier to start a sesh when i know i'm doing it at home

[positively-knotted]

Fuck it, full list + review:

First year

Linear Algebra: easy, boring.

Group theory: marginally harder, significantly more interesting.

Real analysis: one of the hardest, but only because you do it right at the start. Really one you only appreciate once it's over.

Probability: I really enjoyed this actually - not too hard if you're ok at analysis.

Statistics: it's like they took probability and took out the interesting parts.

Intro calculus: mostly very very boring, but some neat problems I guess. Also badly named, this means intro to differential equations.

Multivariable calculus: honestly one of the easiest courses I've taken. Slightly more interesting than intro.

Fourier analysis: terrible course, only taught for applied people. Everyone else should be allowed to wait until they've done functional analysis.

Geometry: mostly linear algebra tbh, with some random calculus problems thrown in. Fine, but felt very thrown together.

Dynamics. This was the hardest course I ever took. Wtf was happening. How did I get a first in this. I had no idea what I was meant to do at any point.

Algorithms: can you learn an algorithm and apply it by hand? Then you can pass this course!

Second year:

More linear algebra: Spectral theorem is useful, otherwise by far the easiest second year course.

Ring theory: vital for any pure mathematician. The course was very hard, but mostly because the lecturer was the kind of person to define a subring as "an injective morphism" to second years. Modules are cool tho.

Complex analysis: also very very hard, but mostly because it was badly taught. I see why people like it; I didn't.

Measure theory: the end of real analysis! Nice to finally define an integral, and definitely nicer arguments than other analysis courses. Overall fun if tricky.

Metric spaces: sick. It was taught by Ben Green. Need I say more?

Topology: I am doing a PhD in topology, so very biased. You spend a lot of time doing fairly boring analysis-y stuff, but the payoff is great.

More differential equations: this was fantastically taught and actually very fun, although partly because I was good at it. That said, actually solving the damn things wasn't always that fun compared to the theory.

More probability: Markov chains are cool and also just easier than everyone thinks they're going to be? Ended up being my best second year exam somehow lol, but fairly mid-tier for interest.

More statistics: I only took this because I felt I should know Bayesian stats. I have forgotten Bayesian stats.

Quantum theory: did you know that everything is a Hilbert space? And do you know your trig identities? If yes, you might like this course! More seriously, this is just "intro to Lie algebra representation theory" but they don't tell you that.

Short courses (more group theory, number theory, projective geometry, multivariable analysis): these courses were badly designed so no comment

Third year

Representation theory: sick. Do this. It's just algebra but done better.

Commutative algebra: ill. is how I felt. Don't do this. Well do it's very important in pure maths but make sure you find a good teacher. You probably should do it though I guess.

Galois theory: everyone interested in pure maths should do this, but personally I hated it. I do not care sufficiently about polynomials.

Algebraic number theory: if you care about numbers, this is cool. I found it fairly easy/boring since it wasn't aimed at people who'd done as much algebra as I had, but was nice to see.

Surfaces: a weird sort of intro to classical differential geometry, focusing on smooth surfaces and Riemann surfaces. It was nice and very easy, but the course was very weirdly designed imo. Other unis also seem to have similar courses though, which confuses me, since I feel it makes more sense to just teach general manifolds then Riemannian geometry, and use surfaces as simple examples throughout.

Algebraic curves: massive overlap with surfaces since both needed Riemann surfaces but neither was a prereq for the other. Then also covered all of projective geom, and rushed through the interesting stuff. Having now relearnt it though, it's super cool and I would recommend to everyone pure or not.

Baby AlgTop: basically Ch0+1 of Hatcher, dealing with cell complexes and the fundamental group. Everyone should know what the fundamental group is, but tbh I don't think everyone needs to sit through a course that proves the simplicial approximation theorem.

Functional Analysis: quite easy if you have finally internalised the lessons that undergrad analysis was trying to teach you, very hard if not. Basically did everything you've already seen more generally, imo should be compulsory.

More Functional Analysis: this time it's topology! Seriously though. Do it if you like topology, otherwise just trust people.

More quantum theory: this time it was "intro to Lie group representation theory". Then it became perturbation theory and I stopped going.

Master's year:

All of these reviews will be useless because the masters I did was weird.

Homological algebra: why was this taught before category theory??? Useful tool, but a hard course. Especially before category theory.

Category theory: should be compulsory for pure mathematicians. Also should be an undergrad course, since all my other masters courses assumed you knew basic category theory. (And so did some 3rd year algebra courses).

Algebraic geometry: I dropped it after 3 lectures bc the lecturer was bad. But if you have a good lecturer, maybe it might not be? Im unconvinced.

Proper Algebraic topology: the classic course covering Ch2+3 of Hatcher. If you like pictures and sign errors you should do it. If not, you probably still should.

Manifolds: this could also be an undergrad course tbh. Do you love vector bundles? You should love vector bundles. I love vector bundles. De Rham cohomology is underwhelming though, sorry @lipshits-continuous.

Lie groups: I think there is no good way to teach Lie groups to geometers. At least to me. I have absolutely no idea how I got 70% in this exam I did not deserve it.

Riemannian geometry: my best exam ever I think, somehow. It's kinda just analysis, except for geometers so there's much more handwaving and fewer δs. It's pretty boring at points, but the interplay between topology and curvature is fascinating imo.

Low-dimensional topology: this is now my PhD, but also the course was atrocious. Do with that what you will.

Uhh that was a good use of time while I waited for my rice to cook

Math enthusiasts of tumblr. What math subjects have you studied and which ones were your favorite? Which ones were your least favorite? Which ones were the hardest?

[awkward-fink]

HC with a taller SO

Price - had never thought he would have a partner that would be taller than him

always was one of those that looked for a smaller one, better for the family pictures, he is the man of the house, the protector

took him a while to get away from that world view that the significant other needs to be smaller, that shapes and sizes don’t really matter when your heart is set on someone

now he can be the meanest ass with manners around the bar, make recruits shiver and tremble before his accomplishments, and he can lean against his SO if the world seems to much to bear

loves being able to just lean back into them, his eyes closed and his nose brushing along their neck without him having to lean down

saves him a lot of back pain

will reach up to cup your neck and yank your head down gently, kissing you with abandon away from prying eyes

no one's business who he is with, don’t you think?

keeps his SO private as long as he can

has you sitting in his lap, regardless that you are taller than him

Ghost

never quite cared about taller or smaller partner

sure, his need to protect always had him on the lookout for someone small to just tug underneath his arm or someone to curl into his side when they needed it

but he soon found out he could do all that and more with an SO that is actually taller than him

now he is the one leaning into the others side, breathing them in, letting their arm settle around his shoulders to lead him away from dump people who wanted to interrupt his date or his time for himself

would not let you kneel on the floor to get things or groceries from the bottom shelves, no Luvie, let him, its easier for him to reach down

he does still protect his SO, will posture in front of them, have them stand behind him to ream the fucking idiot calling you names a new one

he would kill for you, just give him the word and a direction

doesn’t make a fuss out of you, but will proudly linger at your side, glaring at everyone else

full body contact cuddling

Gaz

loves it

you are taller than him? Oh no problem, let him just be in awe of you 

loves that he will never loose you in a mall or anywhere else

loves to go shopping with you, but sharing your frustration when all the nice things happen to be too short on you or fall like a sack

let him hook you up with his sister and his aunt, yes? they can work wonders with fabrics and styles

finds all the online shops for you

actually tries to match your height once with highheels and loves the feeling of it

now he knows why women sometimes wear shoes like that, his legs look amazing!

Gaz also loves to just lay on you and be able to have his touch to the very top part of his head touch you

still wants to be big spoon

will sometimes make jokes about your height, but only lovingly

will ask you to lean down to kiss him in public

will unashamedly sit in your lap on occasion and love on you

Soap

loves this

loves you

cant keep his hands off of you, head tilted back to talk and grin and smile at you

proud to have you as his SO

“Did you see my partner? Yes, you can’t not have, they are absolutely best.”

if you are tall and strong enough to manhandle that man, he is going to ask you to marry him on the spot

loves comparing your palms and then lacing your fingers

has found out that you are ticklish and will abuse that fact to get what he wants

will call you for every item on the top shelves

but will also kneel for you and fetch you everything from the bottom rows, looking up at you with mischief in his eyes

will joke about getting a stepping stool so he can kiss you without one of you having to crane your neck

is the little wild spoon all over you and the bed and in general

feels best after a nightmare to be cocooned in your arms and your legs tangled with his while his head rests over your heart

makes all the dumb jokes “How is the weather up there?” and be proud on any of them

[drdemonprince]

Firstly, I just want to say I love the space you create and hold for the complicated, messy, sometimes-ugly relationships people have to their queerness and/or transness and/or sexuality. There are so many commonly accepted opinions and narratives of The Right Way To Do And Think About Things that exclude so many of us, and ever since I started following you, I have so appreciated the space you make for things outside of that.

The idea of 'choice' around queerness is deeply unpopular, but the fact is… choice is an element for some of us. I'm open to fucking and falling in love with anyone, and that doesn't feel like a choice, but I made a choice long ago to make that important to me. I could honestly exist in a perfectly happy relationship with a cis man (I'm a woman -- kinda. More about that in a sec.). I'd be happy, I'd be fine. I've been dating my partner, who's a cis man, for a long time now and it's a relationship I'm very happy in. But my world would be so so much smaller if I just decided, "I'm straight and monogamous now." It makes my world bigger and brighter and happier to know I'm queer and to make that important to me through non-monogamy and the relationships I build and the elements of my life that I foster.

I think the "Queerness is AGONY! It's so hard! Who would ever choose such a life??" argument that I saw a lot in my teens, when I was first encountering my queerness, left me feeling very isolated, because, like. Me. I'm choosing it. I felt for a very long time that this made me not a proper queer, and it's still something I don't talk about very often.

My gender's another thing that fits along those lines. I've felt cis most of my life (I'm in my 30s). In the last three years or so, I've gone, "Oh, I think I want to be a boy sometimes, actually. That sounds nice and fun and sexy." I would have been fine to just keep living as a woman -- but once again, that's a smaller world than the one I want to create for myself. I am choosing to make my world bigger and more interesting and more fun.

And I recognise this comes from extreme amounts of privilege. I live in a very liberal part of the world, and being able to choose these things without being scared for myself or my safety or security is a huge privilege. I'm also white and femme and non-threatening, and that makes these choices much easier.

And there's an element of "what's a choice, what's innate to who I am", and I don't know the answers to that, but I'm making choices about what to do with the information I have about myself, and that sometimes feels like a very lonely place to be, a place that we're not meant to talk about because it hurts The Cause. If we can make a choice to be """""normal"""", why would anyone give us rights? (Because it's not enough that those rights make our worlds bigger and brighter and happier.)

Anyway. Thank you so much for the space you've created here.

and thank you for choosing to be less normal!

[andypantsx3]

hello andie i am so sorry but i have a tmi question i have nobody else to ask but i need to ask an older women,, my bf js straight up told me hes like 6.7 inches and im only 5'0 😭 we r both virgins do u think that will work or will it hurt please lmk i've been worried about this AAAH IM SORRY AGAIN FOR THE TMI BUT I LOOK UP TO U AND LOVE UR WRITING 😭😭

Ahhhhhh hello my love!! Omg I will do my best to support you here.

In my opinion I think a lot of first times are uncomfortable/painful not because of the physics of taking a dick (if I may be crass lol) but because young people don't often know what they are doing. I definitely did not, at least. But luckily there's a bunch you can do to make your first time way more comfortable!! My strongest advice is to take it slow, communicate with your partner, and use a fuck ton of lube.

If I may expand on that, I think it's really important to move slowly and not rush into it until you're feeling super aroused. Do a bunch of foreplay, have him really work you up doing all the things you like, and have him gently stretch you with his fingers first so that you're looser and more relaxed! And when he penetrates you for the first time, honestly just make him go slow lol. He does not need to cram it all in there. He can put it in a bit at a time until you feel like you have adjusted, and he does not even need to put it all the way in the first time (that might even take some of the pressure off for your first time).

Also, make sure you constantly communicate honestly what is feeling good so he can do more of that, communicate what feels bad so he can lay off or try it a different way, and communicate how you are feeling overall, so he knows if you're nervous and might be tense vs when you are actually probably feeling good enough to move to the next step.

And then LUBE. Hella lube. People don't use enough LUBE!!!!! Lube is kinda culturally unsexy/goofy but it is one zillion percent your friend and makes things waaaay easier. I definitely recommend a silicone-based lube (if you are not allergic) if you're worried about pain because it's much thicker and lasts longer than a water-based.

In the end, it might still be a little bit uncomfy or feel weird just because it's a feeling you have never felt before? But I promise if you do all these things it's going make things a billion times better for you, even taking a 6.7 inch dick lol.

Anyway good luck with your first time!!!! I do genuinely hope you enjoy it. My first was absolutely not amazing lmao but I remember it really fondly; we laughed a lot and I felt very safe and comfortable with him and felt really cared for throughout the whole experience. I hope even better for you!!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

The way this show goes "Basira good cop/Daisy bad cop" in S2 (but they're working together, they were trying to set a trap for Jon because they did think he was guilty and in fact, it's something completely different that makes Basira quit the police force)

to "no really basira good guy/Daisy bad guy" in S3, which feels so obvious when Basira steps into the woods moments before Daisy kills Jon and is the only reason Daisy stops and considers another path (and gets "dragged in" and trapped at the institute because of Daisy's actions which had nothing to do with her -- but Basira does it with barely no reflection, no doubt of what Elias and Daisy imply what will happen if she does not, because she knows the police now is as much a bad guy as Elias is; and she knows she was part of it; and she tries to remove herself by not going with Daisy and staying at the institute, but the institute is only giving her back what she lost leaving the police force- some semblance of control and more knowledge)

to "Actually nobody was ever that simple and how much are you willing to accept neither of them were ever just one thing now that Basira is really the bad guy here and Daisy is turning out to be the good guy" in S4, which Basira slowly losing grip of every good reputation point she'd acquired in two seasons to the point where at the end of the season Jon asks Daisy, weak, trying to starve off the hunt Daisy, to protect him, (the woman who terrified him harder than any other monster he encountered; the woman who almost killed him; his only friend at this point in the podcast; the only one who can even begin to understand what he has been going through and is willing to engage on that level with him) and not Basira, who is SURPRISED BY IT (Basira who did not offer him any sort of trust bone, Basira who threatened to kill him a few episodes prior, Basira who was so ready to throw hands at Annabelle Cane if it turned out it was the web's fault and not Jon's fault because it would make it EASIER, Basira Basira Basira--)

S4 Basira is SO fucking special to me. and the whole reversal of situations between seasons with her, Daisy and Jon drives me insane each time i think about it

[npdkondraki]

hihihi it’s me again ^_^ can i get a basic rundown/explanation of theresa and sam i would like to know more about them 🙏

(also funny story, our first rewrite was also named moore)

oh god oh fuck . this got so long . stelly i am so sorry you activated my autism trap card. enjoy the uh . multi-paragraph infodump.

ok FIRST OFF. basically the very very very basic lore rundown vis a vis What The Hell Is Their Issue is that essentially theyre both semi-hosts to a fucked up fungus* (*think of cordyceps fungi if u want a similar example ^_^) thats using their bodies to keep itself alive.

in moore's case it primarily resides in his throat & mouth* (*hence the fucked up hoarse & wavery voice + stutter) & in theresa's case it primarily resides in her heart* (*hence the fact she essentially just. cannot die. it just refuses to let her heart stop beating. lol. sucks to be her). moore's "healing" is essentially speeding up the healing process but sacrificing pieces of himself to do so, meanwhile he recovers at the same rate a normal human would with those injuries. the entire process is just . incredibly painful and draining for him. sucks to be that guy Lol Lmfao Even.

ok hope you got that. NOW onto their . like. normal actual dynamics i promise this is Far easier to explain.

moore works primarily on site as a sign language interpreter, and he'll pretty much work on anything he can have access to. the man loves information and its basically enrichment for him to be allowed to translate things. he also doubles as an off site medic, traveling primarily to areas where medical help isn't able to be received quick as a first resort health system so they don't use up their medical resources as quick. really the only reason they even have him on medical calls is because he was a med student who just . never went into nursing after graduation. worlds most traumatized 42 year old man who has not socially progressed past the age of 10. He Sucks Bad. its great

THERESA, on the other hand, is just. worlds worst interviewer. she works primarily with the more "violent" or typically dangerous humanoid scps doing interviews which . usually ends in her getting her ass kicked or being dragged out of the room before anything actually gets physical (really, its just because the foundation doesnt want to spend more money on fixing her messes than they have to). her main goal is pretty much to see how much they can take before it turns to violence. theresa takes primary control over anything relating to moore with the justification that he doesn't "truly understand what he's getting into", so long as she has permission from the higher ups.

theres just So Much happening in the background in their relationship honestly like. brief examples include theresa purposefully keeping him sheltered and insisting he not socialize with anyone as a way to keep him under her thumb, the fact moore hates her but literally wouldnt know who he is without her and also thats his sister still and he cant just Leave Her, and also just the fact alone that she, even within foundation walls, has found a way to isolate him further and keep him truly controlled. also like . dont even get me started on theresa purposefully injuring herself so moore will heal her so she has to take care of him and just manipulate him further. endless spiral. they suck so fucking much. my constant go-to is just "cain & abel if they sucked shit and were awful for eachother". but that would take Forever to properly explain so i will not even try to. anyways.

fuckignff. yeah thats it. thats the most basic summary i can nail down. thumbs up.

[wurmh0le-aol]

“Watching [the Basement Tapes], I thought, You stupid idiots! All this talk about hating everyone and everything, and you don't even know what you're talking about. It's all something you've invented in your minds to sustain your anger.” — sue k, a mother’s reckoning (pg. 136)

i often think of this quote from sue’s book when looking at this case in retrospect. to me, the rage they had honestly seemed so directionless that they latched on to anything and everything they could in order to feel like they had any control. that, combined with how much more intense emotions like anger and hurt are when you’re a teenager, created a spiral of negativity that they encouraged each other to fall further and further down.

it’s truly crazy just how young they were. when i first started researching this case, i was just barely in high school myself, and i identified with the rage and misery they expressed in their journals, but now when i go back and read them (and even the transcripts of the basement tapes), it’s almost shocking how high school many of their troubles are. of course, there was underlying untreated/improperly treated mental illness, but the things they griped about the most were things that really only matter in high school.

for me, as soon as i graduated, things that used to bother me a whole fucking lot (cliques, bullies, who-liked-who, homework, etc) suddenly didn’t bother me anymore. and, years later, that’s still the case—i’ve never once thought back on my high school gripes and thought, “yeah, that still has relevance on my life now.” (i do still struggle significantly with my mental health, but it’s leaps and bounds easier to manage after getting out of high school).

as a teenager, it feels impossible to fathom life being anything more than high school (because frankly that’s the only life experience you’d had at that point), but once you’ve graduated, it becomes so clear how little high school actually matters to adult life. i truly think that if they were able to get adequate therapy and understand that high school is such a short period in a person’s life, the entire thing could’ve been prevented.

it’s sad to me, knowing how close they were to graduation when the massacre took place—all they had to do was stick it out a few more weeks, and they’d never have to think about the school again, then they, along with the 13 innocent people they took down with them, could’ve lived long and happy lives.

[florenceisfalling]

Do you think Randy or Bensons would listen to Weezer? What about Williard Woodard?

(writing this felt like that one clip of Markiplier trying to explain something to Gen alpha by repeatedly mentioning the backrooms)

LMAO YEAH THIS IS CATERED TO ME

benson, im not super confident. i think he might enjoy some particular weezer songs (slob, tired of sex -and other pinkerton perhaps- say it aint so, paperface, maybe haunt you every day?) but i think the matter of it is, like, would he wanna listen in the first place? yknow? he listens to moistboyz which shares members with ween, and that listening base actually does overlap a good bit i think. but he leans heavier i think, like he's a motörhead fan... im overthinking this. my hesitation here comes from the fact that while i think he'd appreciate the garage rock element, benson seems to be the type to talk shit in the "they got bad when they got popular" sort of way, or generally laughing at its poppier energy. sidenote its funny that im so unsure of this when i am much less cautiously a benson lowkey country music fan truther, but i still think he'd be the picky type

ive gotta add moth's opinion too, which i also fucking love. they said that benson's generally insane social takes would include him doing the expected thing of shitting on like, the green album and people who just like weezer casually - but then he'd turn around and defend pinkerton with a legitimate devotion and argue for rivers cuomo as like a subversive important figure. completely in denial that the later music even exists or that rivers is a normal guy. part of why i like moth's take here is that i can totally imagine benson bizarrely hyping up rivers cuomo going publicly celibate.

randy i think has softer music taste from what we can tell in the intro scene, but its hard to tell bc i couldnt spot any music stuff in his room. he skips the more upbeat and techno stuff on the radio in his car though, and lisa seems shocked about him wearing a motörhead shirt. personally i think he'd listen to blue when he's feeling edgy? maybe when he's older he'd be like an ok human enjoyer, but i don't think weezer would really be his biggest preference.

benson would probably like will wood's lyrics particularly in the vein of culture-critical, suburbia-bashing, identity-desperate, sexually-uncertain and bitter-spoken. i think he'd prefer a LOT less of a theater vibe in the sound, though, and it'd be infinitely easier to get him to listen if it was the same amount of intense instrumentation but with, like, different instruments. so generally, no, even if he'd appreciate some of it conceptually. randy would be more accepting of the jazz, but less so of the screaming and more fastpaced lyrics, and would find a lot of will wood too overwhelming or garish. icimi would be a better album for him to try than, like, any of the others. so still probably a no. i think neither of them would actually find will wood in the first place, tbf - he blew up partly via like, cosplay tiktok and the parts of animation youtube dominated by deviantart icons? so he'd likely be out of their periphery. someone should subject benson to vampire culture though, at gunpoint if necessary

ty for the ask :) i liked this one

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I'm just gonna copy and paste these from the replies in the post discussing what happened with Umi's mother:

@dummyduck44

I'm curious if the mother of Arlong's daughter is still alive... It's necessarily that I want her and her daughter to meet, but it is something I wonder about.... What was her life like before she met Arlong? Why did Arlong take an interest in her? If she's alive, what would she be doing now?

I like the mystery surrounding it, and part of me thinks it's better with the mystery surrounding it, perhaps with some hints, but I also have the very strong urge to ask.

I know I could just simply ask, and it is likely that I would get an answer (even if I don't, it's not something I'll ever get upset about). I'm also aware that I won't be the only one who's curious...

It's not that I condone the woman's act of abandoning her baby, but I understand (I'm not gonna agree nor disagree with her decision)

If she were to take her baby with her, she could have become a big target. Arlong could have hunted her down if she had taken the baby with her (probably could have done that regardless, but he was preoccupied with the baby). She could have been dragged back to her situation. It could have slowed down her escape, plus she would be carrying a reminder of what Arlong had put her through.

The extremely stressful circumstances she was in could have pushed her to things that she wouldn't have done in normal circumstances (Idk her)

She is still alive and has since gone back to her home country of Wano. Before her encounter with Arlong, she traveled solo and made a living for herself as a bandit. She was always a very feisty woman with a wicked streak a mile wide. She took advantage of the fact that people would underestimate her purely because she's a woman to get their guard down and then rob them blind. When she wasn't doing that, she could be a very fun and boisterous person.

She met Arlong because she was trying to rob him. Despite how visibly put off he was by her mere presence, she persisted and continued trying to get him to loosen up enough that she could swipe his wallet and dip.

Arlong, meanwhile, was having an internal crisis. Her personality type is extremely attractive to him, but she's a human and he absolutely hates that he's experiencing attraction towards her. Then she did actually succeed in stealing his wallet and he was seething over how hot he thought that was.

They happen to run into each other again after that, and Arlong says fuck it and tries to shoot his shot with her. Maybe he'll be able to get over the whole human thing eventually. But, she rejects him. She wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and just wasn't feeling any sort of attraction toward him.

Arlong lost his shit. How dare this human think that she's too good for him? She should be grateful that a fishman like him would even think about being with her. He follows and abducts her shortly after that and then proceeds to keep her captive for almost a year before she escapes.

Presently, she's gone back to old roots. She's still a bandit, but she just bounces around Wano instead of all over the Grand Line like she used to. Every time she saw so much as a ripple in the water when she was going back home, she thought that Arlong was about to lunge out and take her again. She hates being around large bodies of water and avoids them like a plague. She's also part of a group of bandits now. After what happened, she can see the value of traveling in numbers. Maybe she never would have been taken away if she hadn't been alone and therefore an easier target.

She's a lot more withdrawn and quiet after everything that happened. She never quite got back her old personality.

What she had done with Umi didn't fully sink in until she was long gone. Her mind had been in survival mode for around a year by that point, and then giving birth to a baby she didn't even realize she was carrying left her in a very dazed, trance-like state. She was in shock and wasn't processing anything beyond getting away from Arlong.

In hindsight, she does feel a bit of remorse over essentially using a baby as a diversion so she could escape. She knows that she never would have been able to go through with raising her, but she does regret not trying to at least get her to an orphanage so she wouldn't have been left to Arlong.

Years later when Umi is making a life for herself with the Straw Hats, her mother sees a wanted poster of her and is able to recognize her. After the initial discomfort of seeing such a grim reminder, there is a tingle of pride. She's happy for Umi that she didn't turn out like Arlong, doubly so once she realizes that she even assisted in his defeat. She still has no intention of getting in touch, but it is some weight off her mind to know that Umi is doing well. If they ever did happen to cross paths, her mother wouldn't let on to who she is.