#this is so messy but i’m so mad that the government won’t call it what it is: a murder

[enfinizatics]

the polish government is so fucking scared of israel and netanyahu that not only they abstain from voting for the ceasefire during an UN meeting, but even when israel literally targets a humanitarian convoy and kills one of our citizens all they fucking say is: “we don’t understand how this could happen but we will try to find the answers”. how the fuck can you say that when israel has been literally ruthlessly murdering palestinian people for the past 6 months and conducting an ethnic cleansing for 76 years. how can you say this shit when they mostly target civilian infrastructure, hospitals and most recently, refugee camps. how can you be so disgustingly oblivious to everything that’s been happening for the past few months.

not to mention the fact that bombing humanitarian relief is literally one of the tactics used to prevent any kind of help reaching the palestinian people.

the idf has come forward to call bombing the humanitarian aid a mistake but everyone fucking knows that targeting three branded vehicles was intentional, not to mention the fact that the route the volunteers took had been discussed with IDF before they targeted them. because all of that, polish people finally started to realize that it’s the israel who’s a terrorist here. finally the society is asking the right questions and starts advocating for the palestinian people and in return we’re getting accused of antisemitism by an israeli embassy in poland. very fucking frustrating it took the death of a polish white man (damian soból whom i respect very deeply as a human rights lawyer/activist and volunteer myself) for this to happen because there have already been several cases of palestinian-polish people trying to get out of gaza, and they had to wait ages until the polish people started advocating for them and then the government finally got them out. they had to wait because they weren’t white. fuck the polish government that licks israeli boots on a daily basis and fuck israel, a terrorist state that openly commits war crimes. i wish both of them to fucking die tbh.

[fckwritersblock]

Protection Forever - William Lennox

Lennox x Reader

Description: Running into an old flame at the worst possible time.

Warning: nah. Bad writing? Kinda. Unedited because I was excited. I’ll not when it’s been fixed. Somethings may not be fully aligned with the movie but I tried 😩

Word count: 2500+

Dedicated to @merakiaes hey fren!

All gifs from @meragifs too!

You were an EMT.

The two of you pulled up to meet with the other Autobots, you exiting the vehicle before he transformed. You were in awe as he and the rest of the cars all changed.

The biggest one, their leader, gave a rundown of everything that was happening once he confirmed Sam’s identity. This was just a recap for you as Ratchet had already explained. The teenage boy just stood there stuttering not really knowing how to process everything and you frowned again. That was when you really took notice of two teens just standing there. Having known what was expected of Sam Witwicky you frowned slightly.

“I don’t know about this Ratchet, he’s just kid.” You commented to the alien you had formed a quick bond with.

“And who might you be?��� The one called Optimus inquired.

You gave him your name before the other yellow autobot, who you’d later learned was Bumble Bee, uttered something through his radio. It was hard for you to hear but the other robots seemed to be use to it as Ratchet responded immediately.

“The human. I like her.” Ratchet sounding irritated.

Bumblebee made another comment and right before Ratchet could respond one of the others chimed in.

“Wait why do they get humans?” Jazz asked incredulously. “I want one too!”

“Enough! Humans are not pets.” The one call Optimus Prime stated sternly, clearly tired of their bickering. You held your laugh, highly amused.

They were like siblings. A family.

“Exactly I’m just here to help and be a better tour guide than these kids can be.” You confirmed practically forcing your services on them. “Besides they need adult supervision. From the looks of it, you all do.” You grinned at everyone around you. Optimus gave a nod, agreeing.

“She stays. Let’s move.”

In that short amount of time things moved rather quickly. You watched the Autobots accidentally destroy Sam’s backyard when attempting to retrieve the glasses, you were all arrested, you escaped thanks to the Autobots, only to be arrested again.

Fail.

Finally you ended it some secret base. How get you weren’t alone. The government had apparently been on a roll with kidnapping civilians who “knew too much “.

Things weren’t going great but quickly went left when the Decepticons, the Autobot rivals, came to retrieve Megatron.

A war from another planet had officially made Earth its battleground.

You were nervous, trying to figure out how to calm everything down before things started to escalate. Nobody was going to get anywhere with all the bickering. That’s when you saw him.

It had been what? Two years?

Still, without even knowing it, without even knowing you were present, he was still able to make your heart be slow and fast at the same time. The army had aged him, but for the better making him all the more attractive but you couldn’t focus on that right now. Especially when you heard:

“The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One!”

All the soldiers begin to pack everything that they could to prepare in a fight the way they always did. It was an mirable the way Linux game orders in his men took them without a second thought. The trust there.

“That’s good. Get all the ammo you got.”

“Everything you can carry. Bring it.”

Tearing your eyes away from your former lover you grab Sam.

“Come on, we need Bee.” You reminded him, nodding in Simmons direction

“You got to take me to my car.” Sam said, then repeated when he was ignored. “You have to take me to my car. He’s gonna know what to do with the Cube.”

“Your car? It's confiscated.”

“Then unconfiscate it.” You stared blankly.

“We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! -“

“You don't know.”

“Maybe you know, but I don't know.”

You rolled your eyes at the insufferable mans rambling.

This was really was more about ego who was in control more than anything. The guy running the ship, clearly was on a power trip. Unfortunately for him he was facing off against soldiers . The Captain who’s eyes you could feel staring at the side of your face.

A Captain and his soldiers. Ones that really dont like to lose and take serving their country seriously.

The guy who arrested you earlier continue to argue with Sam about getting him back to bumblebee when Lennox finally pulled out his gun sick of the back-and-forth.

“Take him to his car!”

As soon as he did so all hell broke loose and everyone from both parties pulled out a weapon.

“Drop it!”

It wasn’t until One of the sector seven agents pointed a gun at the back of Will’s head that you disable to another agent and took his gun and pointed it directly and held it directly at the one pointing the gun at your ex.

“I really wouldn’t.” You warned.

You were no soldier, but Will have taught you plenty before you broke up. So did your brother, before he passed away. He actually served alongside Will but died in combat. Biking. That’s part of why you were so hurt when Will re-enlisted. When he got promoted to Captain and chose the army over you. You were terrified of losing him the way you lost your brother. The break up wasn’t that messy but you both said things you didn’t mean. In attempts to mask your own pain and hurt one another.

You know. Hurt people, hurt people.

It’s still came to no surprise that you put a bullet in someone to protect him. Together or not you’d never let anything happen to him.

“I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction-“ Simmons ranted.

“S-Seven don't exist.” You interjected, earning a quick appreciative glance from Will.

“Right. And we don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.”

“I’m gonna count to 5. Okay-“ Simmons attempted to threat yet again.

“Well, I’m gonna count to three.” Will deadpanned.

You knew that look. God did you know that look and it was so wrong that you were so turned on.

Finally the Secretary of defense interfered telling Simmons to do what was being asked of him. Everyone relaxed slight, weapons lowering.

“Y/n,”

“Captain.”

The Captain and couldn’t help but watch you how do you get up and prepare to go.

“So that’s her huh?” Epps commented as Will watched you run off with Sam.

“Yeah..” Will answered, mind racing.

While he knew he’d eventually see you again, he didn’t think it would be like this. You looked breath taking.

“Damn. Shorty had your back that entire time.”

“Gear up,”

“What I’m just saying I thought she was gonna put a cap in his.” Epps shouted after his Captain receiving no response.

Will knew you had his back, you always would, the same way he would always have yours. He thought of you often, the break up between two inescapable, never feeling like he did the right thing. You were always not too far from the front of his mind. Him wondering how you were doing. If you were happy. If you found somebody else. There was no doubt he regretted what had transpired between the two of you. It was his fault. He knew that. You knew that. He had ample opportunity to fight for you and he didn’t. When he was promoted Captain he felt he had to choose between you and the army. He didn’t choose you the way he should’ve. In reality he could’ve had both. However hr so caught up proven himself to his deadbeat dad that he possibly let the best thing that ever happened to him go.

Not to mention trying to atone for your brothers death. It wasn’t his fault, but he still couldn’t shake it. So without talking to you he reenlisted. Needless to say where that got him.

Now hear the both of you were in the middle of an alien war. Yeah. This is the last place he thought he’d see you.

You were numb. The battle on the highway enough to freak you out. For mommy, just a moment you thought this might be a dream but no. This is all very real. One minute you guys were just entering the city trying to lay low, next thing you know - BOOM! The explosion knocked all of you over, injuring some, killing a few. Bumblebee’s legs were partially blown off.

Getting up off the pavement you waited for the ringing in your ear to subside as you stood up, trying to study yourself when you felt a pair of arms hold you still.

You knew it was Will just by the way he touched you, you blinked hard trying not to go down memory lane.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was enough to make your heart skip a bear.

“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Slowly you removed yourself from his grip and went to check on Sam and Mikaela. Ratchet on the other hand -

“Hmm. His pheromone levels are-“ you quickly turned on him and glared.

“Ratchet I’ll turn you into a can opener if you don’t shut the hell up.”

The robot nearly held his hands up in the surrendering position as he followed you. Will had arranged an aircraft to pick up Sam and the cube while everyone else defended themselves against the deceptive cons in a hurry to get the cube far far away before Megatron arrived. Sam was in a panic and so Michaela, you could see Will’s short fuse getting ready to exploded. It was then you decided to be an escort.

“Sam, you can’t do this alone.” Michaela fussed.

“He won’t be alone.” You commented, causing all parties involved to look at you.

“I’m going with you.” You declared.

“No.” Will didn’t even hesitated as he stepped closer to you.

“Captain Lennox-“

“No!” You grabbed him by the front of his beer and pushed him back.

“Do you see what going on out there?!” You continued to hold on to him and you yelled at him over there chose. “We’re at a war. One we are extremely ill prepared for. So get your shit together! Sam is my responsibility. I have to get this kid to safety.”

This time your hands slid up the side of his face forcing him to look at you.

“Y/n..” he breathed out leaning down toward you, and for the first time during all this madness you could visibly see he was afraid.

“I’ll be back, Will.” You assured him, briefly resting your forehead against his.

Gathering himself he pulled away, looking toward Sam then back at you.

“Go. Go!”

And then we were running.. With nothing but an M16 strapped to your back and the pistol in your hand, you ran faster than you ever have before.

The four of you were under attack once more, you and Sam doing what you had to, to avoid getting snatched up as a fight Ironhide and Ratchet defended you. Unfortunately you were too close to one of the cars that went up in flames and you were thrown into another car from the blast.

“Y/n!” You could feel the blood on your forehead as you slowly pushed yourself up. As you tried to stand you immediately stopped feeling the pain in your thigh. Looking down could see the damage that had been done. The blood surrounding the afflicted area.

“Wha- what, what do i do?!” Sam asked frantically once he took notice of your injury.

“You gotta keep going Sam. I’ll be fine.”

He stood fo his feet, unsure of what to do. When Ironhide told him the same thing.

“Go!” You screamed once more.

Sam left and continued to run without you as you, as quickly as possible, as you tore your focus away from him to pull the shard of glass in your leg out. Ripping a piece of your shirt off you tightly tied it around your thigh in order to stop the bleeding. There was no point in going forward now but the return back to everyone else and help them fight.

You just had to avoid getting killed in the process.

You seen a car steering wheel, a Mountain Dew vending machine and and Xbox all turn into one of those freaky ass robots right before your eyes. All of which you helped others fight off. It was so surreal. In fact, if it wasn’t for the constant ringing in your ear from all the explosions you definitely think you were dreaming. You almost made it back to Lennox and his men when another Decepticon stood between between you and your destinations. They were definitely taking a beating. You saw Epps shooting a green laser indicating the robot that doubled as a helicopter wasn’t a friendly and decided to do what you could to keep the Decepticon from getting any closer to them and hurting any more civilians. In an attempt to draw it away from everyone else, you begin to fire your weapon giving it everything you had.

Unfortunately, the side effective taking its attention off the others meant putting the attention on you.

You ran trying to duck and dodge a bullets now directed your way.

But Will. Will’s heart dropped. Seeing you there defending yourself alone. His pause was brief, the air forces plan already in motion, before he started the motorcycle and was speeding in your direction.

“William!” You screamed for him fearfully as he drove straight toward the robot.

The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You almost couldn’t breathe, you don’t remember the last time you ever felt so scared in your life. But it wasn’t your life you feared for was it?

He rushed forward and slid under the robot continuing to firing the launcher. All you could do was watch as he drove toward you. Toward the danger your mind wondering if he did that on a regular basis. Was this the life of a soldier? What he went through day after day when he was deployed?

Standing up he only spared the parts of the dismembered robot a glance before shouting and turning looking for you. In a matter of seconds he was standing directly in front of you and pulling you into his arms.

Relief.

There was nothing like physically being about to touch someone, hold someone to really know they were okay.

“So…” you began, suddenly feeling nervous. “...That was hot-“

Before you were able to get another word in, he captured your lips with his kissing you roughly and bringing you closer, hands on the small of your back. You couldn’t help it kiss him back just as fiercely put in every emotion you had into that kiss.

Every ounce of passion he had in body, put into this kiss, your lips just as soft, kiss just as pure as he remembered. When you kissed, he knew he was a goner and could never let you go again.

It has been two years since the last time you guys have been this close. This intimate. Reconnected. The feeling it gave you, the indescribable feeling, was one neither one of you ever wanted to forgo again. Pulling back slowly, you both had smiles on your faces, Will pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“Excuse me,” Epps interrupted.

The both of you turning your attention on him.

“As cute as this shit is it’s highly inappropriate in the middle of the battle. I’m just saying we are trying to stay alive and shit.”

———————————————

Oh my fu- I don’t even know what this isssss

Couldn’t tell you what my original ideas was or nothing. I believed this was going to short-

I enjoyed writing it though! Shoutout again to @merakiaes for being on this lennox train with me lol

I’m just....I’m just gonna leave this mess here.

Bye

- Mo

—————————-

Tags: @merakiaes @lilythemadqueen

[tryingmybestpls]

Like Real People Do (Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Reader)

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Reader

Summary: When Frankie comes home with his friend Santiago in tow, Reader is rightfully suspicious of why Santiago is here.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings:Mentions of drinking, mentions of substance (cocaine) abuse, cursing

A/N: I made fun of Tom maybe a little too much in this, but also? He deserves it :)

"Baby! I'm home!" Frankie calls out as you finish changing your little girl's diaper. You smile down at your daughter, lifting her up into your arms. She pulls at her lilac colored onesie, making a soft little noise. You carefully fix the gold studs in her ears, humming softly. She babbles on as you try to fixed her messy hair., giving up when she starts to squirm.

"Daddy's home, baby girl." You say in a singsong voice as the two of you walk out of a her room and down the hall into the living room. You're more than a little shocked to see Frankie's friend Santiago standing beside your boyfriend. They're both grinning ear to ear (both of them wearing their own respective hats), especially as Frankie walks over to you, kissing you and then your little girl's forehead. He's so happy that you can't be mad at him about bringing Santiago around unannounced. They're also both definitely drunk. Benny's fight.

You've only met Santiago on a handful occasions, mainly at bars. You knew through Frankie, Benny, and Will that he had been down in South America for a year or two hunting down a big drug lord. You knew that he, Frankie, Tom, Benny, and Will were all best buddies and teammates. While your information on Santiago was limited to what Frankie and his buddies told you, you knew that it was a little weird that he was currently standing in your living room.

"Y/N, you remember Santiago, right?" Frankie asks and you nod. Frankie's smile is contagious because soon one is appearing on your face.

Santiago is grinning as well as he walks over to you, hugging you carefully as he leans over the child in your arms.

"Of course I do. He's your best looking friend." You respond, which makes said man laugh as he pulls away. You just know that Frankie is rolling his eyes, but you aren’t wrong.

"It's nice to see you too and this-" Santiago starts, looking down at your daughter, "Must be the little girl that Fish won't shut up about."

"Pope, this is our daughter Sofía Isabel." Frankie's voice is filled with pride and adoration as his arm wraps around you. You turn your head to look at your boyfriend, grinning almost as much as he is. However you notice that something in Santiago's shift. He's smiling, but it's not in his eyes. There's definitely something wrong here. Frankie doesn’t notice is because Sofía has all of his attention.

"She's adorable. Thankfully, she looks like Y/N. You should be grateful she didn't get his nose." He says, smirking. You laugh, rocking your child slightly. You really want to defend your boyfriend’s nose, but want you want to say gets caught in your throat. A sinking feeling suddenly arises in your stomach and you try to ignore it.

"Pinche pendejo." Frankie curses, "You know what, next time I'll let you eat dinner in Tom's sad little apartment. Eat a fucking frozen meal."

-

"No seriously, Tom came to visit us a week after Sofía was born and just wouldn't stop crying. It was...depressing." You tell Santiago as the three of you sit around the dinner table, Santiago and Frankie busting up with laughter. Sofía was already fast asleep in her crib and dinner had been long finished.

"Jesus. What'd you do?" Santiago asks, leaning forward in his seat, his hand wrapped around his amber colored bottle of beer.

"I tried to console him! He had mocos everywhere-It was bad." You reply, taking a sip of water. Frankie snorts, taking another sip of beer and quickly swallowing it.

"So then I come back in the room, Tom's crying and so is Sofía so Y/N is trying to calm both of them down. It was a complete shitshow." Your boyfriend adds and you laugh, as does Santiago. It must've been a little too loud, because Sofía's cry cuts through the noise like a knife. Both your face and Frankie’s drop, your heads turning towards the hall.

"Shit." You mutter and move to stand. Frankie puts his hand on your arm. You look over to him, seeing that he's giving you a sweet little smile.

"No you've had her all day. I'll go." He responds as he stands. You nod with a smile, sitting back down in your seat as he walks down the hall. Your smile fades as you look at Santiago. It was the perfect moment for your little interrogation.

"Why are you back? You're not here for vacation, because if you were, the two of you would've talked more about it." The humor is gone from your voice as Santiago straightens in his seat. Even though he's been in worse situations than this, the color drains from his face.

"Y/N, I-" He starts put you hold a finger up, silencing him as you listen to Sofía still crying and Frankie trying to calm her down. You lower your finger as he presses his lips into a thin line.

"The truth, Garcia. That's all I'm asking for." Your voice is quiet and he puts up his hands in a mock-surrender.

"I came to try to get Fish and the others to come back with me so we can help the government take down Lorea." He informs you, his voice low as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. You pinch the bridge of your nose.

"Did he tell you that his piloting license was revoked? Tell you why?" You question and Santiago just nods in response. You put your head in your hands. The crying had quieted now.

"It sounds a lot worse than it is, I promise. I wouldn't have him risking his life, not now." He tries and you look up at him. You don't know how much time you have left, but it isn't much as you hear the telltale soft creaking noise of Sofía's door as Frankie leaves it slightly ajar.

"He already said yes, didn't he?" You ask and Santiago sends you a discrete look as Frankie's footsteps draw near. The fact that he didn't even try to tell you know answers your question. Your boyfriend had already decided he was going on this mission to South America.

"Said yes to what?" Frankie announces as he walks into the room. Your boyfriend sits down next to you, looking between you and Santiago.

"I was asking Santiago if you had already asked him if he was going to stay the night. He said that you did, but Santiago asked if it was okay with me, so I asked if you already said yes, that it was okay with me." You effortlessly lie and out of the corner of your eye you can see Santiago's slightly shocked face. You're grateful that he quickly masks it. Frankie gives you a sheepish look.

"Sorry, baby. I should've called and asked you." He apologizes, his hand moving to rest on your thigh. You smile at him and at Santiago, your hand moving to rest on top of his.

"Rather have him stay here than in Tom's apartment. At least you get a bed here." You tease, not completely joking. As your boyfriend and his war buddy laughed, you knew that you were going to have to bring the whole drug lord situation up with Frankie.

-

"It's nice to have him back in town." You announce softly as you walk into your bedroom, heading to the bathroom. Frankie follows after you, sitting on the ledge of bathtub as you take off your makeup.

"Baby, I-we weren't being completely honest about why Santiago is back in town." Frankie starts, looking at you in the mirror. You lower the makeup wipe, turning to look at your boyfriend. Frankie has been able to slightly sober up before the two of you had bid Santiago goodnight.

"What do you mean, Frankie? You two said he was here on vacation." You respond, trying to really act shocked. You hated lying to him, but you also wanted him to tell you everything himself. Your boyfriend wipes his face with his hand. He suddenly looks older than he did five minutes ago.

"About a week ago, Pope sent me and the others a file on his work on Lorea. He wanted us to come down there and help him out. Then he showed up at Benny's fight tonight and I told him that I didn't know because I have you and the baby and that's not my life anymore-" He starts and you sigh.

"And he convinced you to join him." You fill in and then it's his turn to sigh. You walk out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. He stands up, following you. Frankie moves to hand in front of you, his hands moving to rest on your arms. You did not want to be mad at Frankie (mainly because it was practically impossible to do so), but you couldn't help but feel some type of anger in this situation. Frankie had already said yes to going on this mission without talking to you about it. You were sure that you were allowed to be sort of mad at him in a situation like this.

"Y/N, it's a lot of money, money we need." He tries to convince you. You give him a look because you make more than enough at the hospital and he gets his pension. You two were doing fine.

"I'm not focused on the money, Francisco. We are doing fine, babe. What I am focused on is that we have a three month-old baby and I really don't want to raise her by myself." You respond, trying to keep your voice even. Frankie's eyes soften and he pulls you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You let your eyes shut as you bury your face into his neck.

A couple of months before Sofía Isabel was brought into the world, your boyfriend had stumbled in through the door, telling you that he was sorry. You were extremely confused until you got a little closer and saw his red, dilated eyes. Nursing had taught you what that meant. Then Frankie told you that his piloting license had been suspended and you knew why. You were livid and you told him that he needed to get sober because you weren't to raise your daughter with a man that was addicted to cocaine.

Thankfully, he was sober now, but this whole situation just worried you.

"We are just going in and coming out. I'll be okay, okay? You can't get rid of me that easily, baby." He murmurs into your hair, rubbing your back. There was a lot more you worried about. Frankie was only a few months sober-four to be exact- and you worried that this whole thing was just going to push him back towards his addiction. It was already hard now, trying to make sure both he and your daughter were always okay at all times. At least Sofía let you know when she was upset.

"I swear to God if anything happens to you, I'm kicking Santiago's ass. And Tom's, Will's, and Benny's." You say, pulling away to look up at him. Frankie chuckles, his eyes only on you. When he looks at you like this, damn you feel like the only woman the entire world. For a second, it makes your anger disappear. But only for a second.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." He responds, smiling at you. Frankie kisses your forehead, his scruff scratching at your face.

"When you do you leave?" You question and Frankie sighs again. You know it must be soon when he rubs his thumb along your cheekbone. Your face must show your disappointment because he holds you a little tighter.

"Thursday, but it isn't a long trip. I'll be back before you know it. You two won't even notice I'm gone." Frankie tells you, kissing your forehead again. It's a lie and a big one. He's trying to fix the situation in any way possible, trying to soothe your nerves.

"Sofía will definitely miss her daddy." You retort and Frankie chuckles. You grin and continue, "I'm going to miss you, Francisco."

"And I'm sure as hell going to miss you, baby.  Please don't worry about me, okay?" He says, kissing you softly before you pull away from him, moving to sit down on the bed.

"See you say that and it just makes me worry about you way more." You respond, running a hand through your hair. You didn't doubt your boyfriend or his team's skills. You knew that Frankie could handle himself, but you couldn't help but worry. He wasn't exactly a fresh chicken and it wasn't like his friends were doing any better. The only two that were still sort of in their prime were Will and Benny.

"I know, Y/N.” Frankie walks over you, cupping your cheek in his calloused hand. You look up at him, taking in every little detail of your Frankie. From the wrinkles around his eyes to the way the ends of his hair started to curl to the way he leaned on his right leg a little more then the left. God, you were going to miss him like hell. However, you weren’t going to miss the smell that was wafting off of him.

“Why don’t you go shower, Frankie? You smell like stale beer and rednecks.” You tease, a smile on your face. Frankie laughs, his dimple making an appearance and the skin around his eyes wrinkling. You kiss the palm of his hand, watching him as he shakes his head.

“You know, I don’t appreciate you and Pope both making fun of me.” Frankie retorts as he pulls his hand away, “Keep it up and I’ll invite Tom over for breakfast. He’ll be crying into scrambled eggs, talking about how Molly used to make the best fuckin’ eggs.”

Translations:

Pinche pendejo - fucking asshole

Mocos- boogers

[geekinator]

I did this as a three part series, because I just can’t get enough Beifong in my life and thinking about them brings me immense joy.

Here’s the first two:

And last but not least:

The Beifong family is the best thing that ever happened to Avatar and quite possibly my life. The thing I love most about them, though, is how human they are. They are the epitome of what happens when life is messy and emotions are raw and people do stupid things and life doesn’t go as expected. Each and every one of them is batshit crazy, and I love them for it. Here’s my take on the illustrious Beifongs. Last is Su.

Suyin: An Analysis

Oh, Su. What can I say? Su is just as complicated as the rest of the Beifongs. Su is no saint but neither is she a devil. Su is human, and that’s about all there is to it.

Su obviously took her mother’s absence in a very different direction. I would imagine that both Toph and Lin were very excited to welcome Su. However, very shortly Lin is old enough and probably mature enough to watch her, which leaves Toph free to be Chief, which means Su is shortchanged in her time with her mom. I don’t think Toph sat them down one day and was like ok girls I’m going to be spending more time at work so Lin you’re in charge. I think she just slowly wasn’t really needed at home (at least not in a way that computed in her mind) and she just kind of drifted away.

Well if I’m Su and my big sister starts bossing me around I’m like ok no that’s not happening, and she obviously started to resist it. However, saying “I was more of a rebel” is like saying “that ghost pepper is a little spicy”. Like Su, honey, there’s a rebel and there’s criminal enterprise. It’s not the same thing, and even later in life she obviously hasn’t made that connection.

Whether because of her absence, or because she perhaps saw herself in Su, Toph turned a blind eye (pardon the pun). It’s also obvious that Toph isn’t even aware of half the stuff that goes on. And because she’s clueless, Toph probably doesn’t believe Lin when she tells her. Whatever the case, Su is that kid who could do anything or say anything and get away with it, while Big Sister probably sneezes wrong and everyone glares at them, because they’re older and supposed to be more mature. Lin at this point is beyond frustrated with Su.

So here we go, Su steps out of the car and I’m sure Lin is feeling a lot of things. Probably like she failed her little sister, angry because WTF Su, and maybe even a little vindicated. Now Toph will HAVE to pay attention. Su is the dumbest bitch this side of Whale Tail Island, however, and actually thinks that Lin is going to let her walk away. Well of course she’s not, duh. But Su is so full of anger and frustration, that she lashes out.

When I say Su is full of anger and frustration, I mean that as much as Lin kept a lid on it, Su did, too. Su had less time with Toph at home than Lin did, which wasn’t fair. Su had to put up with Lin mothering her, when she wasn’t actually her mother and only a few years older than her. Su had very little direction in her life, from anyone. Su was obviously very impressionable. Those two idiots she was with probably could have convinced her to commit Grand Theft Auto, and it wouldn’t have taken much. If things hadn’t gone down the way they did, Su probably would have ended up dead or as a true villain.

Hm, excuse me while I jot down a story idea.

Anyways, my point is, Su had just as many feelings as Lin, her bottle just looked very different. So in a moment of pure anger she lashes out when Lin tries to arrest her. I believe she regretted it, and here’s why: she’s in Toph’s office with Lin. Had Su been completely devoid of any feeling, she would have run away and never looked back, or at least tried to rationalize it. Toph is obviously fully aware of what went down; she asks both of them what they were thinking, so even though Su’s not saying sorry she’s not sitting there trying to deny it. She knows she got caught. She may not be sorry, but she’s still sitting there in the office. Frankly I give her points for that. Not many, but a few.

If I’m Su, I know I did wrong but I don’t care. So I love to hear Toph ask Lin what she was thinking, too. I’m like ha! Yeah, you tear up that report, Mom! But wait, I have to leave the city? Holy shit, did not see that coming! So now the mom who I didn’t have much time with in the first place and has been largely absent is sending me away to my grandparents (and who knows how well she knew them) where only the Spirits know what’s going to happen then. Well this sucks. Not an excuse for her shitty behavior but it still sucked for her.

So then she goes traipsing around the world to prove to herself she is outside the realm of rules. She finally settles down with Bataar Sr and builds Zaofu. Her ideals still seem to be based on the idea of life without limits, which fits her history. She seems more like someone who creates opportunities than someone who makes a lot of rules. Aiwei calls her the matriarch so she’s not exactly in a position of true political power, at least not in name.

I truly believe Bataar loves Su and that he is a good husband and father. I also believe that for the most part, Su is a good mom. Here’s why: her kids are quite well-adjusted. Except for Bataar Jr who seems to have inherited her impressionable nature. But Wing and Wei are cool and obviously very accomplished, Opal is rather prissy but she does have some good qualities, and Huan is very passionate about his banana art. They’re kind of a fun family. Su tells Korra that she always wished Lin were a part of her life, and I believe her. I really think Su misses her big sister. She and Lin are alike in that what they want most is their family to be intact.

After the fall of the Earth Queen, Su says she doesn’t want to impose her ideals on the nation. Again, she doesn’t like rules, so she's not going to go around telling everyone else what to do. I don’t agree with that decision but it is consistent with her character. Her decision to try and assassinate Kuvira I believe comes from a desire to protect those around her, anger at Kuvira for betraying her and taking her son away from her, and guilt because it was her inaction that precipitated the whole thing in the first place. It’s a stupid ass decision, and is an emotional one. Su seems to be ruled by her emotions, from the first time we see her until the end of the series, which is interesting because she does keep her cool most of the time. Emotional people are like that, though. I’m ok until you make me mad or feel something and now I have to do something about it. Oftentimes they resent the person who made them feel it, and blame them. Su definitely falls into that category. Because she is so governed by her emotions, she tends to rush headlong into things without seeing the long game, or the risks. When she gets caught, she knows she messed up. But now Korra has to come and save her, Su knowing full well she’s not ready. But Korra tries anyways because even though Su is incredibly stupid and selfish, she is a friend and they still care about her. Anyone who watches Dragons Race to the Edge, it reminds me of Snotlout, when Astrid says he’s a muttonhead, but he’s their muttonhead. For better or worse, Su has become one of them.

Quite frankly, I like Su. I think her biggest faults are that she tends to follow her emotions which gets her into trouble and she doesn’t really like to acknowledge when she’s wrong, even though she definitely knows she is. Neither of those things are traits that I would consider unforgivable. I don’t think she and I would be bosom buddies but she is an interesting person. I would be endlessly frustrated with her and probably tell her I told you so a lot. But Su is there when it counts. She defeats P’li and helps defeat Kuvira. She helps save Korra and teaches her metal bending, and she is quite cheerful. As far as Lin forgiving her I feel like that was more for Lin than Su, just like forgiveness is for everyone. For anyone who says Lin deserves better, keep in mind this is her little sister who she loves very much. There’s history there and families are messy and complicated and I for one trust Lin. Lin also doesn’t just jump in, she tells Su she just won’t show up and attack her. They only become more involved because that’s how things played out. Lin is very sincere when she tells Su that she loves her, and it almost seems like the first time Lin has said those words out loud, based on Su’s expression.

Su may not have known or believed it before that. Right or wrong, good or bad, Su is family, and families are stupid and crazy. Like I said before, Su is no saint, but she’s no devil either. She makes shitty decisions and yes people have to keep coming to her rescue, but I think her heart is in the right place. I really do.

[colonel-insomniac]

Wait

@my-blood-is-maple-syrup @pawsomelybuggy ive done it again, don’t be mad at me though :D. potential sorry in advance for what im about to do. OH listen to  this playlist but only if you want 

After landing on earth, Kai and Pon were instantaneously dazzled by the dizzying brightness. It was such a stark difference to the darkness of Azurelle that for a moment, everything seemed perfectly balanced, like a piece of glass saved from teetering off the edge of a table. 

But of course, as is the case, glass fragments and shatters. Ezra fell to the dirt, gasping for air, though he couldn’t be choking, because he wasn’t eating anything. He wrapped his hands around his neck, trying to convey his need for help. Kai didn’t realize at first, his mind dark and empty in response to the dazzling light, blinded by the beauty of it all. 

He turned his head at the continued sound of coughing, dropping to his knees when the situation registered. Pon had been kneeling by Ezra’s side, trying to help the boy, and Kai checked for breath exiting Ezra’s body, trying to narrow down what might be happening as he tried to push the rising panic and fear down, if only for Ezra’s sake. Unfortunately, no air was entering or exiting from Ezra, and Kai looked at Pon, frozen with horror. With Ezra rapidly turning a pale blue-purple shade, Pon began attempting to physically insert air into the other boy’s body through mouth-to-mouth resuscitation methods. 

Kai thinks it works for a bit, but doesn’t know how to contact emergency services. Does Earth have emergency services? 

Abandoning all care, he pats down Ezra in case he happens to have a phone on him, and thankfully finds one, which he flashes to Ezra, who grabs his hand and traces the following numbers: nine, one, and one. Kai dials and is bombarded with questions that he does his best to answer, eventually giving up when they ask for his location, opting to ask if they can instead trace the call, as he isn’t too sure of where he is at the moment. 

The lady on the other end of the line asks for him to stay on the line, and after a couple minutes tells him an ambulance, police officer, and fire truck being sent over. Kai pleads with them to hurry, unable to hide the fear in his voice anymore.

It seems they’re too late, though. By the time the medics arrive, Pon has reported the worst news that Kai thinks he could ever hear. There’s no breath, no pulse. 

Kai felt that his own breath and pulse were completely gone, his world shattered. It feels like it doesn’t matter whether he were on Azurelle or on Earth. What was the point of life if your lover was dead, taken by some unknown force? He found himself unable to convey the overwhelming sorrow, eyes dry and mouth glued shut. 

Kai watched as the medics loaded Ezra into an ambulance and had to be dragged by Pon to said vehicle. He felt stuck, like he would forever be rooted to this very spot, his heart shattered.

But later, it seems all is not necessarily lost, because somehow the doctor’s are able to locate the faintest of heartbeats with their fancy medical technology, and Kai desperately holds on to that sliver of hope. They are not allowed to visit Ezra, his condition to unstable and unique that they must put him in an intensive care unit to closely monitor him. Without any reason to be there, Pon throws an arm around Kai in nearly matched misery, and guides a still numb Kai out of said care facility, despite a nurse calling attention to Kai’s various wounds. 

He genuinely had forgotten about that, had been too consumed that his brain allowed him to bypass the cruel pain that was gradually settling back into his bones. Kai thought of both nothing and everything, his mind searching for answers, because something told him that Ezra wasn’t choking because of some typical medical thing. All he could think of was what if they had done something wrong, and Ezra was still somehow tethered to Azurelle? What if this was the Azurellian government metaphorically pulling the leash, reminding Pon and Kai that they won’t ever escape, not when they have this venomous grip on Ezra. 

The pair slowly make their way back to the spot they had landed on, now filled with memories of horrific events that had just taken place. Looking off into the distance, Kai can just barely make out a trail, for some reason, before the war, Ezra had wandered off the beaten path and ventured into raw nature instead. 

There had to be something poetic about that, but Kai’s mind didn’t have the capacity to consider that at the moment, still could barely form a coherent thought. The pair make their way back to the path, and looked both ways. One side led further into the forest, further into a mystery promising adventure, and the other back to society. They go back to society, not willing to embark on another journey after the hurt had still been so fresh. 

Kai kept a firm hold on Pon’s hand the whole time, fearing that the moment he let go, his best friend would disappear too. As they approach the cross section between nature and society, a couple that looks oddly familiar run up to the two boys. 

The woman, her voice watery asks if either of them have seen a boy “...named Ezra Watts.” A thousand memories flash in Kai’s mind in less than a second. “It’s hard to explain,” The man adds, “but he was supposed to be back today and we aren’t sure what’s happening.” Kai looks wide and watery eyed at Pon, who thinks for a moment, not sure how to order his words. 

“This is going to seem crazy, but we know your son. The rest would be easier if we were away from prying eyes and ears.” The man who Kai now assumes to be Ezra’s father nods, and wraps an arm around his wife, gesturing for Kai and Pon to follow.

They have a nice house. That’s all Kai can get through his brain, which is a slight improvement, tracing patterns on the couch he’s currently sitting on. He lets Pon do most of the explaining, but can’t miss the curious glances at him. 

“...from Azurelle,” He picks up on the spark of fear at the name of their home planet. “I’m Pon, and this is Kai. We managed to escape, but only thanks to the kindness of your son. He saw something in us that convinced him to help us out. If he hadn’t, execution is what we would have faced.” Pon places his hands in his lap, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

They nod, but look over to Kai, because the look of distraught that has been etched onto his face is a tad bit more concerning to them. Something more is going on there and he knows they know. Pon places a hand on Kai’s shoulder, “Kai and your son, they—well, that is to say that they mutually appreciate each other in the way that you guys do.” Pon then nods, happy with being able to dance around outright saying it, and despite his negative emotions, Kai can’t help snorting at his friend’s ridiculousness. 

Ezra’s mom blankly regards Kai, before nodding and smiling at him, and Kai can feel the heat rise in his cheeks. With a shaky breath, Kai opens his mouth, knowing that if he loves Ezra, he has to say something. “When we arrived here, your son began choking, we don’t know exactly why that happened, but we managed to get hiim to a hospital, and they put him in this thing called an intensive care unit. They found he was still alive so they’re monitoring him right now.” Kai inspects his hands, eyes stinging. 

The mom nods, standing and offering a hand that Kai takes. The dad gestures for Pon to follow, and remains seated himself, face sad and staring out a window into a sunny lawn. She opens a door, leading to a bedroom that’s decorated with foreign posters and objects. Kai realizes at once that this has to be Ezra’s room, and presses his hands to his face. Ezra’s mom tells them to take as long as they need before backing out and leaving them. Kai glances around the room, landing on the bed, with a blanket patterned with some sports ball. 

There’s a childlike air to his room, a messiness that comes from never resting and being in a rush. There’s a small squeak, and Kai finds Pon opening Ezra’s closet doors, peering at the different items stored within. He hesitantly walks over, fingers catching on a soft cotton material. He pulls it off its hanger and finds it to be a hoodie. He glances at Pon, cheeks burning when Pon smiles and nods, sliding the garment on. 

At once, he’s overwhelmed with the scent of Ezra, and he stumbles over to the bed, head in his hands and just cries. All this buildup, but it feels so good to let it all out, and Kai knows he needs to let himself just feel this pain and anger and sorrow. Pon sits beside him and hugs Kai, doesn’t move until Kai wipes his eyes and hugs his friend back. 

When he’s ready, they leave the room, Kai still wearing Ezra’s hoodie, and join Ezra’s parents, who don’t comment on the apparel change or his puffy eyes. They do, however, express a desire to see their son, even through glass windows, so they pile up in a car and drive around until Pon points out the building they had gone to. 

The doctor’s deliver a grim prognosis: there’s hope for Ezra, but due to the amount of time without oxygen, he’s in a coma. They aren’t too sure when—or if —he’ll wake up, or what his brain activity would look like. 

Exhausted and out of tears, Kai puts a shaky hand on the window, the cool glass serving as the barrier between them. Ezra’s mom cries quietly, turned with her face pressed into her husband’s shoulder. Pon’s quiet, as he typically is during times of grief and sorrow, and with his other hand, Kai grabs a hold of Pon’s hand. 

A month goes by, and Ezra still hasn’t woken, doctor’s determined to not give up on him. Kai visits every day, walking to the hospital on his own sometimes, and always asks for any updates from the doctor’s. They’ve begun to give him cookies when he visits, silently fearing that he isn’t eating. Which he is, but his appetite isn’t really there. 

But soon after that one month mark, Ezra has stabilized enough to be let out of the ICU, where they let Kai in to visit him. After a while the receptionist stops asking for information and lets him find his way to Ezra, for which he’s grateful. When he’s alone in the room with Ezra, he can almost pretend the wires aren’t there and their in a home all their own, with Pon, of course. 

And he just talks. About anything and everything. He discusses his found love for classical music, specifically a composer named Bach, he talks about the weather, he tells him how much he misses Ezra, how much he wishes that Ezra were awake so he could say all the things he didn’t realize he should have said back on Azurelle. 

Another two months pass, with Kai still visiting, Ezra still improving but not responsive. He still talks, or sits in silence, holding Ezra’s hand, sometimes places it against his cheek to feel the miniscule warmth. Today he just sits, nervous for some reason, his fingers at first fussing with the hem of his own shirt before moving to frantically comb through Ezra’s hair in an attempt to comb through it. It’s gotten longer than it had been when he first arrived on Azurelle, and something tells Kai that Ezra wouldn’t like it like that. Not that it’s extremely long or anything, but it’s something that he just feels within his heart of hearts. 

He misses the furrowing of Ezra’s brows, overtaken by an urge to do something. But when Ezra moves his head, Kai freezes, his eyes widening as he looks down at Ezra’s face. He holds his breath, heart beating frantically with hope. And then Ezra opens his eyes, looking slightly confused before turning his gaze to look at Kai, who’s pressing the button he was told to push if—when— Ezra woke up. Two nurses walk in, and after a minute of poking, prodding, and taking notes, they finally begin to remove the breathing tube. Ezra never takes his eyes off Kai, swimming with an unreadable emotion. He briefly looks away when the nurses ask him questions to assess any brain damage, but shortly after, the nurses leave, reminding the two boys they’re just outside, one of them intending to let Ezra’s parents—and by proxy, Pon— know. 

Ezra slides his gaze back to Kai, squinting as though he were thinking hard about something. After a moment, he whispers “Kai?” 

The shorter boy nods, and throws his arms around Ezra, sobbing with relief. Ezra pats his back, returning the embrace. “What happened?” He asks after a moment. Kai pulls away but doesn’t let go of Ezra. 

“When we got to Earth, you began to...choke, and we couldn’t figure out why or how to help, and you lost consciousness. I thought— you... it’s been three months and I’ve been so scared.” Ezra looks away, something like fear floating in his eyes. But he shakes his head and when he looks back to Kai, any sign of that is gone. 

“So, Bach? Not a Mozart fan?” Kai’s mouth falls open, and he’s not sure what Ezra’s getting at, at first. 

Then everything clicks when Ezra laughs at Kai’s stunned face. “Are you seriously talking to me about music right now?” Ezra shrugs in response. 

Kai can’t help feeling overwhelmed, so he blames what happens next solely on that. He places his hands one either side of Ezra’s face and closes his eyes, pressing his mouth to Ezra’s. His stomach churns in fear of being rejected, but then Ezra pushes back slightly, and Kai relaxes, his hands still on Ezra’s cheeks. 

When they pull away, Ezra’s quiet for a moment, looking closely at Kai’s red face. “Honestly,” he begins, “I have been wanting that to happen for a while now.” And Kai snorts, resisting the urge to be sarcastic. 

Not knowing when to stop, Ezra adds “Who knew it took me almost dying for that to happen.” And abandoning his morals, Kai slaps his arm, not lightly, but not hard.

“You need to shut up.” Is all he responds with, grabbing Ezra’s hand, placing it on his cheek. Outside, the sun glows golden, as though she is positively pleased, and Kai has to agree with her. 

[liyuesbian]

yeah I honestly liked all of the inazuma 5* quests we've done so far! I think they all added something to those respective characters, save for ayaka's (it did further her characterization but also,,, a literal date. I think it was endearing but it made her feel kinda 2d? idk) I feel like the first two were kinda filler mostly because 2.0 was sorta the calm before the storm,,, (although why were we so passive fjdsfks i feel like the traveler needs to seek out stuff by themselves more lmao) raiden is finally someone who's both girlboss and kind and not reduced to either extreme (or limited to "(hot) wife material"), which is very very good

about the archons: YEAH I love Zhongli very much but I think he owes the adepti (at least) a Full explanation... he did mention that he hinted to both the Qixing and adepti that he's not dead but ganyu's dialogue when we were getting glaze lilies for the rite of parting AAAA I was so miffed Zhongli couldn't have taken her aside to tell her right there. Xiao too, literally they would be so worried for him and they deserve to hear it from him personally dammit >:|

I think the reasoning for the "test" was like. the traveler has a voiceline that basically says: if people knew Morax walked through Liyue every day, they would just go to him for advice, hang onto his every word and try to analyze and reanalyze it all the time, like with Ningguang's paper snow. I feel like that would be the scenario if Morax stepped down peacefully, since everyone would know he still exists; he doesn't get a good retirement and Liyue still relies on gods too much. trying to drown the city was a bit overkill (childe... o-o) but I will hesitantly trust Zhongli when he says he could and would save Liyue if it truly needed him.

also true true! the people still really believe in the archons, even with barbatos who's been absent for so long (venti...), and even after their gnoses are gone and all. it's cool how they have vastly different governance styles but their whole nation More or Less respects them

baal/ei hate is so uncalled for though wtf. At least Raiden's still doing her job unlike her slacking coworkers Zhongli and Venti. and regardless of whether she's done right or wrong, people can like fictional characters who've done bad things.... why must you inject morality into your personal faves :| (genshin fandom highkey sucks oml)

yeah!! the resistance barely got a mention except for Gorou in the end scene, and it's like ??? the war is over? or? it just went by too fast and it felt like in the end the resistance were mere pawns, since the real stuff was resolved by us and Yae (paimon's line that's like "they aren't a match for the raiden shogun" at the battle cutscene is the epitome of the resistance in 2.3)

nobody has explained to me how the resistance got into Tenshukaku/Inazuma City in the first place either 😩 it is nice to see you, Kazuha and Gorou, but what are you doing here?

-welcometoteyvat (eh you can call me by mystic or my url lol, I don't really care, and I think I returned your rant with a longer rant too hsdfsa)

AJWADAH hi mystic! i love how this turned into a "thoughts about 2.1!" discussion into a whole genshin discussion #''1?2!! AND I'M ALL FOR THIS BACK AND FORTH THING

(here we go again, 2.1 spoilers below the cut)

yes!! this date thing with the female characters needs to stop... and actually, i would've loved to know more about baal's friends in the actual story quest (like with venti) instead of having to explore inazuma to find out more (but i will admit that i do lowkey like how the lore is hidden inside teyvat's nooks and crannies but in the case of la signora... not really. we should've learned more abt her first before her death instead of us having to look at an artifact set's description. i'll forgive mhy for this though - maybe we'll get to know her more when snezhnaya releases) and i share your sentiments about raiden/ei! what a girlboss!

MHM i wasn't gonna get into the whole thing with the adepti and venti's extreme laziness but hey, it's here now lmao and right?! but hinting is not good enough for me >:( AHHAHA he owes xiao and ganyu so much they're basically avid followers of his and they have history togther but he doesn't even tell them the truth?! >:(

yepp i remember that but even then, he could've just said "yo i'm stepping down. you won't know who i am bc i'll be anonymous or whatever"... and it seems like zhongli had already integrated himself well in liyue. nobody questioned his sudden appearance or mentions when he came to be wangsheng's consultant (maybe there is but i can't rmbr anything off the top of my head)

RIGHT?! goddamn raiden is trying her best out here!! i'm not excusing her actions or ei's ignorance towards the inazuman modern society pre-raiden quest but she's still trying to run her country and the corruption of a certain influential department didn't rly help either. (and yep the genshin fandom does suck D: we don't have to "moralise" every aspect of fiction!!)

exactlyyyy and again, traveller saves the day !!!! i get that they have main character armour or wtv but still, aren't they a bit too invincible? they defeated an actual ARCHON on the second try && i can't believe it only took two people to stop an entire war which had people suffering, trying to escape inazuma and the tenryou commission and some even went MAD and had personality changes when they lost their visions but now it's all fine and dandy?

OH MY GOD that's true! i didn't think about that.. how did the resistance get into tenshukaku so quickly when they were, what, two islands away?

sigh 2.1 was messy

[empathyfought]

a couple of things now that tfatws has ended.  it had very good moments throughout the show, but i think the pacing + less episodes + amount of plotlines got a bit messy.  some parts weren’t written well, but at the same time i recognize this is fiction, it’s not gonna be perfect, and that for what it’s worth, there was at least some effort made regarding some pretty important issues (which is kinda sad but it is what it is i guess fjksdjkhfasdjk).  anyway, long-ish post under the read more!

sam wilson continually shows just how empathetic and compassionate he is.  in the face of danger, he refuses to fight.  he wants to talk.  he’s not always a ‘punch first, ask later’ kind of guy because he recognizes that not every fight is always about bloodshed.

at the end of the day, he understood karli’s movement, understood her and the flag smashers’ motives.  karli’s death felt far too rushed, but the entire ending felt rushed, so i can’t even complain about it just being one thing.  anyway.  it’s why he brings her body along, why he has to explain to this white man why the hell her fight mattered at the end of the day.  she was treading into terribly dangerous territory, but she was also a misguided, displaced teenager, who had to face unfair life-threatening consequences (herself and her entire found family) upon the return of the blipped, none of which was her, or any of the flag smashers’ fault.

although they stooped low and started to get innocent people killed, it can’t be completely ignored of the hypocrisy that is written into the show and the entirety of the mcu where heroes also will kill or have to sacrifice other lives that aren’t always their own for the sake of the greater good.  it’s a lot of grey area that isn’t explored, mostly because ya know, it’s superheroes, so i’m not expecting much on that front.  like i said, it’s fiction, and though we can point out the irony within some of the writing and motives, holding the show / writers too accountable / at too high standards won’t necessarily change anything because there’s a highly likely chance they don’t think that deep when they write everything, lol.

i think it’s pretty impressive that they showed sam finally go completely vocal against the senator and other foreign leaders.  they didn’t need to incorporate that scene, but it was pretty well written from what i can remember, and i’m glad they finally had him call them out to hold them accountable.  on live television, at that, because unless revealed to the mass public by a figure of ‘justice’ and ‘safety,’ the regular joe isn’t going to exactly enact visible change, especially at a large scale.

aside from that, however, it’s kind of weird that instead of getting a public apology and compensation for isaiah, sam had them only erect a statue in a museum?  this is where it kinda gets muddy and feels ironic again.  the whole thing just feels like a half-assed attempt at reconciliation.  i loved the writing between them as characters, and it was very well acted (i really applaud carl lumbly for his fantastic acting), but in terms of the actual written intention behind it, it just feels very reminiscent of real life where we erect statues of ‘heroes’ as if that changes anything.  it is important that he isn’t forgotten for the suffering he went through, but it’s exactly because of what isaiah was put through that i don’t think a statue in a museum fixes all the wrongdoings the government and military enacted against him.  i think i’m gonna have to kinda retcon this bit sfkmsdj

although sam and bucky worked with jw at the end, i think it’s kinda weird that they just let walker go like that, and though sam can understand walker’s grief, it doesn’t excuse how far he descended into his madness.  he still sees walker as a man too attached to the name, the role of some ‘face’ for america.  safe to say, the next time he meets US agent, he isn’t gonna be too pleased.  jw had a shitty ‘redemption’ arc if that’s what i have to call it.

disappointed i didn’t get a crumb of riley content so i guess i gotta write up my interpretation of riley’s character and influence/history with sam.

also a really big shame we didn’t get much torres content?  he’s supposed to be the next falcon, and it just feels weird that he got like, literally no screentime by the end of the season.  sam wouldn’t have just given him the wings and said “alright buddy off you go bye!”  fdsnjadjhjkasdf he’d probably help him out. sam & torres content pls.

and of course, sharon was done a complete disservice.  her entire character is just… not right.  idk what marvel writers were thinking, but they don’t think half the time, so i can’t say i’m too surprised sdnjshjak

anyway, that’s all i’ve got for now.  thx for coming to my tedtalk.  i will be writing out my post-tfatws verse and whatnot which will obviously be open for plotting.  it’ll likely also end up becoming my default verse because... that’s my captain america!!

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 19

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson &/x fem!gifted!reader Content: Frigga <3 Some angsting and feels and pining. A/N: So apparently visits by relatives to patients are going to be unrestricted from now on (government’s decision) which means one of the most important ways to control the risk of Corona within the health care system is gonna be flushed down the drain. If a second wave is gonna hit in my country, it’ll start now...and I’m still wiped out after the last 6 months of strain/stress/etc.

19. Strange Same Dogma

...  Loki   ...

He’s at [Y/N]’s side when she approaches the gates to Valhalla the next day. Disguised as her servant, Loki’s role is mute whenever others are nearby (unless addressed directly) though he is prepared to whisper advice discreetly if the guards prove difficult.

Two golden-armoured einherjar are in their usual spots, blocking the way, but neither are given a chance to speak before the Midgardian embraces her role. “My name is [Y/N] and I have come to seek audience with queen Frigga. I know you must confer with her majesty, however my travels have led me far since I left Alfheim and the gracious hospitality of the High Priestess.” With the Älfir garb and the impeccable posture, she looks the part. “I presume temporary accommodations can be arranged.”

The last bit carries the tiniest hint of a question’s intonation, precisely enough to prevent coming over as either rude or begging, and as one einherjar ensures the message of the visitor is relayed the other calls for a servant to arrange (and escort the duo to) a waiting chamber.

It takes a moment before Loki is alone with the mortal again and he knows the peace will be short lived.

“I’m impressed, my pet.” He adores the way [Y/N] beams with pride. “Anyone would assume you are of royal heritage.”

Any other words dry up in his throat and the former prince allows himself to fall silent, eyes seemingly studying the familiar stones beneath his feet while in reality gazing unseeingly.

He’s home. Frigga’s lullabies ghost these halls at the edge of hearing, calling for the lost child to retrace the paths from years ago even now as time and fate have warped him into the grown man he is today. How long has it been? Surely, not long enough that he cannot find the way around the palace blindfolded if need be. And, oh, to revisits the favourite nooks and best reading spots or to climb the spires only to greet the first stars even before they have dared look above the horizon. Loki’s heart clenches at the madman’s hope of strolling through his mother’s garden which smells of herbs and safety.

...  Reader  ...

The place is much grander than your wildest imaginations had prepared you for. Gold, rich stones and woods, precious stones, all coming together in sharp lines reaching high above you. The place does not hold the natural flow of Alfheim’s temple – there, Art Nouveau from Earth had been the closest resemblance – rather favouring something akin to Art Deco. Still, neither style truly encompasses what you see or have seen and if given the freedom, you’d easily spend hours studying the palace.

But, sitting in silence, all the decadence of the room loses the welcoming glamour as a chill saturates the air. You instinctively move to sit next to Loki on the pillow-covered bench. He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t seem to notice your closeness. Leaning in slightly, you don’t see tears in those emerald eyes of his but are met with a pained emptiness. It’s haunting.

What can I do? Nervous of potential violent reactions, you don’t exactly feel like shaking him out of the stupor – whatever you decide to do must be subtle. Your gaze falls to where he has drawn his lips into a thin line and of course you wonder how it would feel if to have his mouth respond if you were to kiss him. Don’t be an idiot! No, the man might have taken a liking to teasing you but while it’d doesn’t make sense why, you know it can’t be from wanting you.

So, you do the only thing you can think of and slip your fingers in between his, squeezing the cool hand gently in the same rhythm of your breathing.

Time pass. The wintry bite in the air softens. Loki’s breathing slowly adapts to match the speed indicated with each careful nudge of your fingers. Eventually, his hand curls to return the gesture, and now the lack of words is peaceful, a sacred promise of a haven for all that remains unspoken.

One final squeeze, then Loki disentangles from the hold to shrug. “We must uphold the charade of Lady and servant, my dear.”

You know he’s right...but it your heart still objects to the distance when you return to the previous seat. You’re glad when, just as expected, it doesn’t take long before a guard arrives with an update.

“Queen Frigga has accepted the request for an audience.” Both of you get up. “Only you, lady [Y/N].”

This isn’t part of the plan and you can’t help glancing to Loki who nods imperceptibly as he sits back down. There’s a calm in his eyes that soothes you. The man might have gotten you wrapped up in his messy life, but you have no doubt anymore: he’ll see you through it too.

Turning to face the guard, you straighten up. “Of course.”

...

The queen of Asgard is not alone when you’re shown into the grand room. A host of other women, presumably a mix of servants and nobles, are gathered around her like a space posse with snacks, drinks, and gossip which continues uninterrupted as you enter. Stopping just past the door, forlorn at the sight of the gorgeousness of it all, the guard pushes you gently towards a woman at the centre.

Frigga is sitting on a couch, deeply engrossed in conversation with a couple of the other ladies. Her blond hair is done up elaborately with the exception of a few long ringlets and the dress is the most heavenly sky-blue, flowy thing – the kind you’ve only seen in fantasy books or medieval images.

“Your highness,” your escort announces, “lady [Y/N] of...” his voice trails off, unsure how to finish as you never told him where you’re from.

Managing an awkward bow, nothing has prepared you for Loki’s mother swooping over to grasp both your hands.

“Lady [Y/N]! I’m delighted to meet you!” The wholehearted smile dazzles you as some of her son is evident in the gleam of her eye. “Rumour of your prowess precedes you. Come, sit with me.”

Frigga doesn’t have to say anything for the two conversational ex-partners to get up with delicate nods. Even with the purple, Älfir dress you’re wearing, you feel out of place – a commoner pretending to be royal. That’s exactly what I’m doing. And you’re glad to have your hands back as your palms start to get sweaty.

“Forgive the informal welcome, we were not aware of your arrival.”

Frowning slightly, you can’t detect the sarcasm Loki has introduced to your daily life. “My travels have held several surprises even for me.” Please don’t dig in it.

The smirk familiar despite the shimmer of something unidentifiable. “I know the Älfir were saddened when you took your leave. How did you find your stay there?”

“Oh, the planet is breathtaking and they are very kind and generous!” At least this isn’t a lie.

“The first is indisputable, though I dare say not many will agree on the latter...however,” the queen reconsiders, “I suppose you are special to them as you have saved their High Priestess.”

They’re not friendly normally? “I...I guess...” A nagging in the back of your mind has been activated and you know it won’t stop until you’ve asked Loki about a couple of things.

“No need for modesty, lady [Y/N].” Again, Frigga looks genuinely delighted. “A mortal, but with the magic of old Alfheim running through the veins...it is no wonder they welcomed you as they did.” Oh? “Please indulge me: how has this come to be? Who has trained you in the arts of magic?”

And there it is: the gaping hole surrounding the ability you’ve grown up with.

For years, you felt like a freak. No one were like you or could tell you why songs with strange words would well out of your mouth. It had isolated you more often than not, forcing you to start over when people who didn’t understand started to fear you instead. I did no harm. But that had never mattered. It was enough to simply be different.

Pushing the memories aside, you look down at your hands that are wringing the sleeves. “I don’t know.” Ugh, don’t sound so pathetic! “It has always just been me, trying to figure out these things on my own, your highness.”

“Hm.” Frigga’s palms are soft when she plies your fingers from the stretched hem. “I see why he brought you here, then.”

“Who?” With all that has happened, you should be used to fear clawing inside your chest like now.

Rather than answer you, the queen merely announces the room at large, “Leave us. All of you.” The last bit is addressed to the guard that you only now notice has stayed by the door. “And see to it that the chambers have been prepared.”

They must know the drill, these fancy women, because no one complains or looks surprised as they file out. Even if you had felt out of place with all of them around, the sense of foreboding and displacement doesn’t lessen, and you try to avoid meeting the piercing gaze of the queen in the hopes of keeping up the charade – a near impossible endeavour as she studies you in silence until the door clicks shut.

“Let us abandon pretense, me dear,” Frigga sighs before urgency takes over. “How is my son? How is Loki?”

Fuck. She can’t...can she? Like mother like son? Oh, crap. “I don’t know wha-”

“Tish-tosh. It is hard for me – and Heimdal – to track him. My boy has always been intelligent and...well, sneaky. But a mother knows her child, and when we learned someone with such a gift had been abducted from Midgard? Well, I had my suspicions as to his plans.” It’s impossible to tell if the proud smirk is due to her own success in figuring out what was going on or Loki’s accomplishments. “He learned nigh everything he knows from me, and despite the turmoil in his heart there is reason behind his madness.”

“Don’t call him mad!” It pops out of your mouth before you can think and your heart almost follows, getting stuck in the throat on the way and blocking any intake of air.

Frigga’s hands are warm, unlike the man in question’s. Tenderly, they cup your cheeks, rubbing circles on the skin until the rhythm echoes in your body and breathing becomes possible once more.

“Do not fret,” the queen and mother instructs. “I shall not ask where he is or if they two of you are colluding. All I wish is that he is...is...” Wetness wells in her eyes, briefly but long enough for you to recognize it. “He has been struggling and so I hope he has found a gentler path to tread on the way to redemption. Any proper mother would feel assured knowing that their son does not walk alone.”

This is his home. Sure, Asgard itself has been where Loki grew up, the place he still belongs to despite what he has said about Jotunheim and Odin’s rejection. But you begin to suspect that the real reason for the strong attachment is sitting right before you. So much of Frigga’s small mannerisms have been passed on to her adoptive son though her pride has been tempered by a wisdom your companion hasn’t gained yet.

“Worry not, dear,” the queen interrupts you thought, “all will fall into place in time and until then, I may be able to teach you more about your gift and how to hone it. You shall be my guest in Valhalla. Welcome to Asgard.”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

ONE HUNDRED FIFTY THREE - CONVINCING (3)

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

FULL STORY MASTERLIST

ENDING THREE MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 1,570ish

Summary: Fury tries to convince Bailey to let him recruit Peter.

~~~

By the time two am rolled around, my hair was up in a messy bun, there were eleven empty coffee mugs scattered around the place, and all the screens had new suit designs for Peter up. Glancing down at a sketch, I reached out and picked up the coffee mug that rested in front of me. I brought it to my lips and tried to tip some down my throat, but nothing came. I let out a long, tired sigh as I set the mug down. I leaned back, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. 

“When I saw the light on and the coffee machine up and running,” an old voice sounded from behind me, “I thought that we were being haunted.”

“If my Dad was going to haunt us, it wouldn’t be by working in the lab,” I joked.

“True. Very true.” Steve pulled up a chair besides me and sat down. He looked around the room. “I’m still not convinced that you two aren’t related by blood.” 

I spun my chair around so that I was facing Steve. “You wouldn’t be the first. And I have a feeling you won’t be the last.”

Bucky and I had a small cottage built for Steve on the edge of the property. So that he could have his space but that we could all still be close. He frequently stayed in the room we had set aside for him in the Facility though.

“What’s got you up so late?” Steve inquired. “Is the kid in trouble?”

“No, I’m just trying to make up for the lack of me not being there for him.” I covered my eyes and looked down. “Gosh I sound just like him. I’m turning into my father.”

The old man chuckled. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. But why do you feel that way? You’ve been mourning too. Not in the way most of us expected, I might add, but still.”

“Everyone has their own way of grieving.”

“Yes but, Bailey, I know you. I’ve seen you—“

“You knew me, Steve. So just, please, stop.” I shook my head as I turned back to my work. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumbled.

“Bailey…” He sighed.

“Drop it Steve. I’m not your problem anymore.” I began sketching. “What are you even doing up this late?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes it helps if I’m not alone.” I nodded. Steve stood up and set a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You should get some rest... Please be better than Tony in that aspect. We don’t need another Ultron incident.”

“Good night Steve,” I said curtly, not even bothering to look up.

He sighed before leaning down and placing a kiss on my forehead. “Good night B.” 

I kept working until a fell asleep not even a short while later. Bucky came in soon after, FRIDAY having told him that I had fallen asleep in the lab, and took me back to our bedroom. I woke up, curled into his side. He was already awake, brushing through the ends of my hair.

“Morning,” he sweetly whispered before holding a kiss to my hairline. I smiled and cuddled into him more. He chuckled. “I’m guessing last night didn’t go so well.”

“What would make you think that?” I mumbled into his bare chest.

“Well, since you went straight to the lab when you got home…”

I sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I figured you needed your space. So I just had FRIDAY wake me once you were asleep, if you hadn’t found your way to our room.”

“Steve came by last night… I feel like I wasted time designing a cottage for him. I think he’s slept there once.”

Bucky laughed. “I think he’s just missed us… For us, he was gone for seconds. But for him it was a lifetime.”

“Yeah… It was his choice though… He didn’t have to stay back.”

“True. What did you two talk about?”

“Grieving.”

“What? Why?”

“He mentioned that him, and others, are confused about how I’ve been mourning Dad and Nat… I may have gotten a bit mad at him… It’s still hard.”

“I know. It’s hard for him too. He’s still mad at himself for how it all went down.”

“I wish that I could move on faster… I just can’t… He promised me a future and then took it from me in a blink of an eye…”

“I know, sweetheart…” He kissed my forehead before resting his head against mine. “And he knows too.”

The rest of the day was spent training and doing paperwork. I also decided that I needed to start planning the opening gala for the new facility. Pepper and I agreed that Tony would have wanted us all to get together. The invite list consisted of government officials from all over the world. It was also also extremely important to Pepper and I that all those who fought with us that day were invited and their families. I choose a date about a month out. Pepper had promised to design the invites and have FRIDAY send them out by the end of the week. I was about to shut down my office and head to the kitchen for dinner when FRIDAY came over the speakers.

“Miss Stark, an unknown number is calling,” she announced. “They would like to video chat. Would you like to answer it?”

Confusion filled me as I wondered who could possibly be trying to video chat with me. I debated for a long few seconds before telling FRIDAY to put them on the screen. Low and behold, Nicky Fury showed up on the other end.

“Stark,” he greeted.

“Fury,” I responded. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I need you to get Parker to answer my calls.”

I lightly chuckled. “I don’t control the kid.”

“Yes, but you are basically his sister.”

“I’m not his sister. And we’re not on the greatest of terms right now.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Definitely not helping you now.”

“Stark. There’s something going down and I need his help.”

“And you can’t ask any of the rest of us? Anyone else from ‘your team’? Or are the Avengers not your team anymore since the originals are either, dead, retired, or somewhere in space?”

“I need Parker on this. The rest of you need to continue doing what you’re doing, rebuilding the Avengers.”

“I’m not going to, he’s supposed to be going to Europe in a few days. He needs the break, don’t pressure him.” 

“I have a report that something’s going to hit Europe in a few days, and it’s convenient that he’s going to be there too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Does Ixtenco, Mexico ring any bells?”

“There were some weird readings from there a few days ago. But it was just a cyclone.”

“The locals say the cyclone had a face.”

“Of course they did.” I sighed, looking down and shaking my head. “Please don’t ruin Peter’s vacation, he really needs it…”

“Can’t make any promises.” Fury stated before he hung up.

I was confused and irritated to say the least, but I really didn’t want to worry about it right away. A few days past before I noticed anything weird. Tony had created an augmented reality security and defense system a few years back, EDITH was the name. Even Dead I’m The Hero. He had told me that it was only to be used if danger was eminent and he was dead. I was in my office when I received a notification that EDITH had been activated and was targeting someone. I quickly went over to my screens.

“FRIDAY, who activated EDITH?” I asked.

“It seems that Peter Parker did,” FRIDAY responded.

“What?! How did he get a hold of EDITH and who is he targeting?”

“He was targeting one of his classmates. It seems to be an accident and has been dealt with.”

“I can’t even! Ugh!” I slammed my hands on the desk. “Who gave him EDITH?”

“I sent EDITH to Fury.”

“You what?”

“Tony instructed that EDITH be given to Fury to give to Peter at the time of his death.”

“And he didn’t tell me.” I threw my head back. “Why am I not surprised?” I let out a frustrated puff of air. “Get a hold of Fury on video chat. Don’t let him hang up.” A few seconds later, Fury’s face appeared on the screen.

“Miss Stark, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I thought I told you not to hyjack Peter’s vacation?”

“And I remember telling you that I couldn’t make any promises.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about receiving EDITH? And why did you feel it was necessary to give EDITH to Peter now?”

“He needed a push.”

“Let him be a kid, Fury! Too many of us have already lost our childhoods because this life was forced upon us. He doesn’t need to save the world today! There are plenty of other people who can do that right now!”

“I don’t think you’re emotionally stable to save the world right now.”

“I wasn’t saying me.”

“Parker’s already here and he needs a push.”

“Don’t pressure him into being the next Iron Man. He doesn’t need that.”

“He’s stronger than you think.”

“I understand how strong he is, Fury. I just believe he needs a break.”

“And I don’t. He’s the one that needs to do this… I understand you’re concerned, but I know what I’m doing.”

“Please don’t let him die. Cause if he does, you’re a dead man, Fury… He’s part of what I have left of Dad… He’s the reason Dad agreed to the time heist… Please don’t let him die.” 

next >

[docholligay]

These are messy, disorganized, and ANGRY thoughts for Holocaust Remembrance Day (Israel) .I don’t get sad about this, I get fucking angry. If there’s anyone I could insult, or blame, that would hurt your feefees, I highly, highly recommend you not click on this. I am not responsible for how you feel. Got it? 

Given the preamble I feel I shouldn’t have to say this, but do NOT reblog this, I’m not having this conversation with some 21 year old with an anime icon who’s never met me. 

There’s a cloud over every Jewish head, and it’s always the goddamn crematorium. 

Today is Holocaust Rememberance Day.  I light a yahrzeit candle every year, and I say Kaddish, every year, and I always do it alone, because I think if God wanted me to have minyan to say it with he shouldn’t have let so many of us die. 

One third of the Jewish population on earth was murdered. Think of three Jews you know, if you even know of three of us, and imagine that one of us, gone. Imagine your friend’s Jewish family of six, and imagine knowing that soon it will be four. Imagine. 

It was worse in some places. In Poland, it was ninety percent of us. A family of ten, with one left, that was the story of the Polish Jews, told over and over again. 

But get over it. It’s fine that we’re talking about the collective trauma of an indiscriminate virus, of the idea of losing ten percent of us, but losing one third of your people is something that you shouldn’t be pulling out anymore. Never mind that we were directly targeted, never mind that this was not the first time and will not be the last that the call to arms is against us specifically. Jews just love to complain. The trauma should be long past. 

And I think the numbers were inflated anyway, and other people were killed too, it wasn’t just the Jews. Never mind that the numbers probably are inaccurate as some of us were mowed down into ditches in Poland by the side of the road, and who knows how many there were, never mind that in Russia they lacked equipment and hired farmers to drown us by hand, and they happily took the money. Never mind that I sat in a second grade classroom as we passively discussed how people wanted to murder me, and how my teacher reduced it to a few hours where kids with brown eyes weren’t allowed to use the water fountain. Never mind that they burned us, against our laws. 

“Jews never stop bringing up the Holocaust” but my great grandmother only ever said of Ukraine, “There is nothing left.” I knew she meant no one, but that to say that was too hard. Better to think of the buildings, of the oxen. 

People love dead Jews. Dead Jews can be exactly the pawn you need them to be, proof of whatever it is that you’re saying is right, and it was the way the other guy thinks that killed the Jews. It’s so easy to make someone the big bad, to remember Jews as weak and simpering mice who simply went to their deaths. That’s how people like us, weak, and dead, a cliff note in history. Something to be used.

They accuse us of relying on the Holocaust, but I’ve spent my whole life watching goyim trot it out whenever they fucking feel like being dramatic. Poor Anne Frank is never going to know rest, the spectre of a child who never got to discover who she was and so is the most convenient Jew of all. Her father was criticized for stripping out parts of her diary that contained sexual thoughts, but he knew what I know, that to make Jews worth protecting, we must be stripped of inconvenience, or complication, or difficulty.  As long as we keep burning, there will always be something to keep them warm. So long as we can be refined to the pile of ash they can mix with any material they wish to build their argument. 

Live Jews are inconvenient. They are a messy and complicated and difficult people. They can still fuck up. They can, and will, disagree with you, with each other, and they won’t be quiet about it. Sometimes, we’re unkind to each other! I more than once have accused another Jew of being judenpolitzei, of siding with those who would let us be destroyed for their own ends. On both side of the aisle. We don’t behave. Supporting us doesn’t give you enough points. 

I can hear the crackling, the burning. It’s been in my chest since I was a child, 

I’m so angry, all the time. Anger has been my bondage for years and years, and I try to remind myself that anger can itself be a form of idol worship, and that anger can cause us to become something we don’t want to be. 

Besides, Jews aren’t allowed to be angry. We’re supposed to be quiet and agreeable and patient, and nod along with however the right or the left wants us to be. We have to have the right opinion on Israel, on the mining of our culture, on Anne Frank, on the Holocaust and its causes, on what is Anti-Semitic, and these are the same for the right or the left. All these topics, a goy will tell you how you should think, and Jews that agree with them are the good Jews to protect, and Jews that disagree with them are the bad Jews. I am fucking tired of only deserving protection when I’m agreeing with someone. 

I remember a few years ago, Giles Coren, a Jewish English food writer of Polish extraction, getting into trouble for saying, essentially, “fuck the Poles’. Essentially but also, literally. I remember reading that, and how immediately I thought that he had told one of our secrets, and it was terrifying and gratifying all at once. I’ve been in Jewish groups more than once where someone quietly admitted “I don’t care what happens to Poland,” the names of every family member they would never know unsaid.  I remember feeling pride at how hard Coren went, how he got nasty, how he was angry, how he brought up that the Holocaust was so successful in Poland because Poland already hated Jews. It my first time ever seeing that bitterness, that desire to hit back, to be filled with that flame. Not making it a quiet secret.  I went and found the direct quote from the whole thing that stuck with me forever, because I knew it was true, and I knew it was what would happen when the whole thing started. "I wrote in passing that the Poles remain in denial about their responsibility for the Holocaust. How gratifying, then, to see so many letters in The Times in the subsequent days from Poles denying their responsibility for the Holocaust." He was so angry. People hated him for it. 

I remember being afraid, too. Shut up, Giles. This is going to come back to bite us in the ass. We aren’t allowed to do this. We aren’t allowed to hate the people that murdered us, even though some of them are still alive, even though Poland murdered the survivors who came back. We aren’t allowed to be angry about it. We have to be good Jews. We have to say we forgive them, oh how they fetishize survivors who say they forgive. Please, don’t tell them about that burn inside of us, like whiskey in your chest. Don’t tell them my great grandmother watched Russia’s horrors unfold with a smile on her lips. Don’t tell them she said they got what they deserved. We aren’t allowed. 

Don’t get angry about America sending a ship full of refugees back in 1939, don’t get mad about Ireland only letting in refugees who agreed to convert, calm your fury about Jewish children being taken into Catholic homes, never to be returned to Jewish communities. The British government stopping a trade that would have saved a million Jewish lives. Of course it’s tragic. But there’s no need to be angry. There’s no need to yell. There’s not need to shame anyone over their culpability. 

We have to cry about what happened to us. We are not allowed to rage about it. 

Besides, if it’s everyone against you, you cannot be mad at the whole goddamn world, Holligay. 

There’s a part of Indecent, a play tumblr and facebook reduced to “lesbians!!” while completely missing the point of what it was about, about Jewish identity and struggle, the search of legitimacy and the role of stories. Sholem, the writer, goes into a deep depression, and is sitting in a doctor’s office, while all of them are acting like this is so clinical, and he snaps. How can he not be like this, in a world where to be a Jew is to be like this? I felt that same flush, that acknowledgment of fury, of the world never getting it. 

Even writing this, I feel I’m letting some secret out. They’ll hate us if they know.  They’ll hurt us if they know. Smiling Anne Frank, who believes people are truly good, that’s what we have to be. Shut up, Doc. This is going to come back to bite us in the ass. 

I light the yahrzeit candle and realize there’s no match in my hand, that somehow it has been kindled from my own anger, from my own white-hot hate. It burns me, too, and the pain of it pricks my eyes with tears. I do not often generalize, about Jews. This is because I actually know them, and we evade an easy box to be put in. We are an asterisk of a people. But I guarantee damn near every Jew you know has this burn inside them, that they might not even themselves understand. Maybe it’s quieter in Jews who got out early, whose families don’t carry the burden of knowing there’s a burnt patch of earth where your family stops. But I don’t think so. 

I think we all know it could happen to us, at any time. And every goy who thinks they are so brave would do nothing in the face of true danger. They would turn you in without a second thought, because that’s what their families did. 

I guarantee some of y’all reading this have your back up right now. Why is she so angry at people who could not have themselves done it? Isn’t she just as bad? Shouldn’t she just let it go? 

Exodus tells us that children and their children will be punished, to the third and fourth generation, and if all God can scrape up is my anger as a punishment, 

My rage is inconvenient to me, too. I tell myself things of all the Jewish philosophers I’ve read, about how we must love mercy, about how the world is desperate need of our loving attention, about how rejoicing in someone’s pain and failure is to spit in the face of what God has made us for. I tell myself these things all the time. I want to find a place where I can hold the truth of this anger, and not let it burn those who hold the community shame of the past. I want to use this fire to warm, and not to burn.

But I will also be honest with you. 

I do not want to hear a single solitary argument against my anger from any Non-Jew. 

You set me on fire. Now you have to let me burn.

[stories-mostly]

Stark's Bug

Tony Stark x son!reader

=Masterlist=

And we're back baby. Sorry for the long wait but it had to be done. I was stressed to the brim lol. Anyway this chapter is a little cute and domestic cutouts of what Tony has to deal with every day lol. Happy Pride and have fun reading.

Warnings: zero to none

Words: 2079

Chapter 16

After the trip everything, and everyone, was busy. Happy had taken a week long vacation. Pepper and Natalie were having to call and answer calls from all kinds of government people. And Tony was in his lab researching about the dude who attacked him. Ivan something something if you remember correctly.

The news weren't above it either.

What was worse for you though was the stress hanging in the air. It seemed like nobody would be happy about you interrupting their work. But you also didn't know what to do with yourself. So you sat there on the ground looking off into space thinking about anything and nothing at the same time.

Then you decided to just walk around the house for a bit. Maybe you'll find something to do. As you turned the corner you saw a familiar and loved face appear not far away.

"UNCLE RHODEY!" You screeched and jumped into his arms.

"Hey there, champ. What's new?"

"Everybody is suuuuper busy and boring right now," you complained.

"Well, yeah. The attack yesterday was pretty shocking for a lot of people."

You shrugged and were put back onto the ground.

"I guess. What are you doing here?"

"I have to have a word with your dad about what happened."

"Ugh, you too?" You groaned and threw your head back.

"Yeah. Many important people are mad about what happened. They think Tony can't protect them so they want to take the suits away."

"Like the government?"

"Yes and the military and so on."

"But you're in the military?" You questioned as you were walking into the living room.

"Don't worry. I'm trying to protect him." He smiled at you and asked the room where your dad was right now.

You followed behind him but he turned around and stopped you.

"Sorry, bud. But I'm gonna have to talk with him alone, okay?"

"Why!?" You crossed your arms.

"Because I'll say some choice words you aren't allowed to use yet."

You huffed and sat down on the couch still pouting. You were allowed to go anywhere you want! This was your house!

Still angry your stomach growled loudly. So you left for the kitchen, took some food and sulked off into your room.

The next morning you woke up to a quiet and empty house. Which got you into a chipper mood.

For Tony Stark it was time to let off some off that pent up energy from sitting in the lab all day and night since he got back.

But inside the gym awaited a peculiar scene. There were you, pushing weights with all your might onto a mat layed out on the floor.

"Hey Buddy, what are you doing?" He asked both curious and amused.

You turned away from the task at hand to explain.

"I want to test how much I can lift!"

"With your hands or force?"

"The force!"

"Okay. Don't hurt yourself, alright?"

"I won't" and with that you turned back around to the task at hand. Tony watched you after changing into his gym clothes. You were so focused on scribbling into your notebook that you didn't know he was watching.

He looked on as you picked up one after another weight, putting them down inbetween to write something. He cheered you on inwardly as you struggled to lift another one and add it to the ones already floating about in the room. You added some more until it all finally came tumbling down with a loud thud that made the floor vibrate. Quickly moving to your notebook you wrote down the final amount you had lifted.

"Look how much I can lift, daddy!" You ran up to him holding up your little notebook proudly.

Tony grabbed it to stop it from moving and his eyes almost fell out of his head as he read the number with three lines under it.

"212lbs!? Wow, that's a lot," he exclaimed engulfing you in a big hug.

"That's more than 4 times my weight!" You talked on and showed him the math you had done in your book.

"No way. Wow." He paused thinking about all the documentaries on animals he had watched that talked about this kind of thing.

"That's just like an eagle!" He finally said remembering the documentary he watched with you just recently.

You frowned but shrugged. You'll take that.

"I guess your superhero name should be Eagle from now on." He joked but you shook your head.

"There is already someone named Eagle in Captain Magics team. I can't steal his name." You said matter of factly and walked off to begin cleaning up after yourself.

Meanwhile Tony wondered where Happy was for their sparring match today.

He pulled out his phone to call but then something made an elevator sound in his brain. Happy was on vacation for the next two weeks so... yeah.

He totally hadn't forgotten about that at all. Instead of dwelling on it he turned to you and helped to put away the weights.

"Iron man I need your help!" Tony jumped at the sudden appearance of his son Captain Storm behind him.

"What? Oh, what is it Captain Storm?" He asked in a serious tone.

"The evil Madman is trying to take over Brickville and I need your help defeating him and his evil goons!" You explained in a lower voice than usual, which he found adorable.

"Oh no that's terrible! How can I help?"

"We need to find his headquarters and destroy him once and for all!"

"Let's go then. We can't waste any time!" He jumped up and put on his helmet before sneaking away behind his you.

The city was a mess and located in the living room. Brickvilles Bricks were all over the place and half the city had been ravaged. No one who resisted had been left alive. As Captain Storm explained.

Nearing the headquarters Cap instructed Iron man to quieten down so they wouldn't be discovered by the very vigilant guards hired by Madman.

He had the entire city under his brutal paw.

Evading the goons outside both heroes got inside the headquarter undetected.

"We have to find Madmans office. Follow me!" Captain Storm walked forward leading the taller hero through the corridors towards what was discovered to be Madmans office just a few minutes prior.

"Stop," Storm said holding out a hand behind him before turning around. "Look, there's guards."

"That must be it then. How do you propose we get inside?"

"I sneak around to the other side and on three we take them down together."

Iron man nodded in agreement and the plan unfolded as said.

Captain Storm snuck around to the other guard further away from Iron man. He held up three fingers and lowered them one at the time indicating the countdown.

Once the last finger went down both heroes took the guards down quickly  and left their bodies in the same spot they had been standing.

Bursting through the door there he was. Madman. Sitting on his office chair and looking as though he had awaited their arrival.

"Ah. Captain Storm and Iron man what a pleasure," spoke the Bear.

"Shut up stupid! We're not here to talk. Leave the city alone and I wont punch you in the face." The Captain said. Very aggressively. Iron man was sort of taken back.

"Yeah. You heard the man Madman." He supported non the less.

Madman said no and with that Storm tackled him out of his chair and started throwing punches.

"Leave. The. City. Alone."

You really beat the crap out of that Bear.

In the end Iron man dragged Madman out of his hideout and held him in place as Storm told the citizens that they were now safe and left Madman in the hands of the public.

"Good work Stormy. I will go now I hope you can handle the cleaning up?"

Captain Storm nodded dutifully and began cleaning. First dragging the stuffed supervillain by his blanket cape into his room while several Lego houses followed.

Tony Stark always thought of himself as a rather messy and unorganized person. But he didn't think he was this unorganized. After you had nagged him about being hungry he went into the kitchen to see what was available.

Nothing apparently. Nothing for him rather. You had spotted something that peaked your interest. A full bag of frozen peas.

"What about this?" You asked holding out the peas infront of you.

"What about it?"

"Can I have it?"

"The peas?"

You nodded.

Tony frowned. This wasnt what he imagined his son wanted for dinner.

"You want a plate of...peas?"

"Yes."

"With what?"

"Just peas."

"Are you sure?" Again you nodded this time more insistent.

What the hell. What kind of child wants peas for dinner.

"But these won't fill you up."

"Not if I eat lots."

The older Stark sighed and went on to prepare you a plate of pure peas. Just peas and nothing but peas. It felt wrong to put peas in a pot all by themselves. And it felt even worse putting all of them in an empty bowl again all by themselves.

He placed the bowl of peas infront of you and gave you a spoon. You, being the semi independent little man you are, went and got yourself a fork. Meanwhile your poor father didn't understand any of the actions you were currently taking. He wondered if he ever confused his parents like you were currently doing to him.

But you seemed to be delighted by the food. Kicking your legs back and forth while chewing the peas.

Tony opted to bite into his apple and keep his mouth shut.

In the end you ate two and a half bowls of peas and was satisfied with your meal.

Pressing down random keys on the piano you were slowly getting frustrated with the bad tunes that came out of it. Nothing even resembling the melodies your father could produce.

Said man walked in just as you were dragging your fingers over the keys angrily. He was planning on telling you to get ready for bed but seeing you sitting there, trying your darnest to produce music warmed his heart with fondness.

"Playing the piano, Bug? What song?" He teased and sat down next to you.

You glared at him.

"Oh if looks could kill," He chuckled and pressed down on one of the keys.

"Want me to teach you?"

You eyes lit up. "Yes! Can you, please?!"

"Alright, come here!" He patted the spot right next to him and you slid closer. He took your smaller hands and placed them where you should press, adjusting each finger that was needed.

"What song is it?"

"I think you'll know once we play it," you weren't really satisfied with that answer.

He placed his own hands right over yours and pulled you on his lap rather than reaching around you awkwardly.

Tony pressed down and the first two notes rung through the quiet room. You groaned.

"What?"

"Thats a childs song!" You exclaimed offended.

"Yeah and what are you?"

"Too old for Twinkle Twinkle little star."

Tony laughed a little. "Bug. This is one of the easiest things to play as a beginner. You don't start with the hardest thing first," he explained and played on with your hands still being guided along.

"Twinkle twinkle little Star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little Star. How I wonder what you are." Tony sang along teasingly.

"This song is stupid." You pouted.

"You rather have me sing the ABC's alongside it?" He poked you side and you moved away.

"Come on this was composed by Mozart. So I don't think it's all that stupid. Come on let's play some more,"

"Only if you play the Star Wars song!" You grinned up at him.

"Okay? I'll see what I can do," he said and placed you back onto his lap.

"This time you sing along too. Make sure I'm doing it right," he put your hands back in position and you nodded dutifully.

At first you just mumbled the words but your dad pushed you a slight bit and joined in.

You grinned and sang the last lyrics together. Giggling you pressed the last keys on your own.

"Great!" Tony praised and placed his own hands over different keys.

"What Star Wars song would the gentleman like to hear?"

"The one that goes: dun dun dun duhn dahdan duhn dahdan," you tried to describe it to the best of your abilities.

Tony nodded and thought for a second before pressing down on the first few notes of The Imperial March. You smiled brightly. He missed a few notes but that didn't bother you too much. It was sensational and you liked having your own musician in the house.

You clapped when he finished. "Whoooo. This was great!"

"Well, thank you kindly. But now is really time for bed,"

He shooed you along and into your bathroom and with that your day was over and another would soon arrive.

And then another, and another, and so on.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @nicholasbich @tater-thotties @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark @emilaa2001 @kindahadeschild @actualcringetm

[hannahmcne]

Evie’s Baby Girl

Mal saw Evie less and less as she and Doug got ready for the baby to arrive. The nursery was decorated, toys and diapers bought, and Evie had an entire cupboard in her kitchen devoted to bottles of various types and sizes, children’s plates and sippy-cups, baby foods and refillable applesauce bags, and other children’s products.

Finally, the big day came. On May sixteenth, only an hour before lunch, Mal was stuck in her office arranging for a painter to come in to do restoration work on the ancient paintings in the palace when Doug sent the text: Evie is in labor.

Unfortunately, Mal wasn’t allowed to go down to the hospital to be with her friend the moment she heard. She had three meetings with different officials around the country, one scheduled call, and a request for audience with a women’s charity event that wanted her support.

The workday ended at six o’clock, after which Mal went to grab her old Isle jacket from her room before she headed down to the palace grounds. Her customary two guards followed her all the way to the garage, where she was surprised to find Ben waiting for her, twirling the keys of one of the palace cars on his fingertip.

“What are you doing here?” Mal laughed, walking up for a hug. He obliged her, wrapping his heavy arms around her frame for a few seconds while he laughed.

“I knew you’d be coming.” He replied. “Doug texted me a few minutes ago – she hasn’t had the baby yet, but it should be soon. If we leave now, we may be able to get there before the kid turns a year old.”

Mal sighed. “Sounds accurate.” She grumbled. “Some Godparents we are.”

Ben laughed and started the car. The guards – only two of them, got into the backseat. Ben pulled out of the garage and began heading up into the fresh May air. “I should try and get my license again.” Mal contemplated as they all pulled out sunglasses as Ben pulled over to the palace guard checkpoint. Ever since the night Ben had proposed to her, Mal had been very careful to keep all of her cards in order, in a little card holder that helped her easily find everything. They displayed their passes, and Ben had to flash his license and official ID, before they continued on down the road.

“So, tell me, why is it that you have the higher restrictions whenever we leave the palace?” Mal asked, taking his hand in the glovebox as he drove. “Not that I’m complaining, but shouldn’t it be the same now?”

“It should.” Ben nodded. “I argued on your behalf, so a lot of your protocols are less severe than mine. If you want, I can have them go back.”

“Psh, no thanks.” Mal laughed. “But why can’t you do that with you?”

“Court regulations.” Ben shook his head. “You forget, I’m still the heir apparent to Auradon. I’m kind of irreplaceable until we have kids. It’s my DNA that matters.”

“Lovely.” Mal rolled her eyes. “What was I thinking when I married into the royal family?” She asked.

“Were you thinking?” Ben snorted, squeezing her palm before he had to put his hand back on the wheel.

“I don’t know.” Mal shrugged. “There was this unbelievably hot prince, and he kissed me so much I could barely even think straight. Maybe I was brain dead and no one even realized.”

Ben burst into laughter, nodding along with her words. They turned into the hospital parking lot and Mal hummed as a car turned out onto the road beside them. “What’s the chance we can sneak in without anyone realizing we’re here?” She asked.

Ben let out a guffaw. “You’re hilarious.” He rolled his eyes as a car slammed on their brakes in the opposite lane and rolled down their windows to stare. Mal carefully looked away as Ben navigated them to the general parking sector.

Ben came around the help her out, ignoring the guards, and then the two linked arms as they hurried towards the entrance, entourage in pursuit. They slipped inside and hurried towards the receptionist’s desk. One young mother looked up and gaped a little, but everyone else remained stone-faced, staring at their magazines.

Ben cleared his throat before the receptionist could look up from her computer. “Excuse me,” he began, and twenty other people’s heads snapped up at his familiar voice. People started tugging on their neighbor’s sleeves. “We’re here to see Evie Gibson?”

“What kind of a patient is she?” The receptionist asked, typing the name into her computer.

“She’s… having a baby? Just had one? We haven’t received word on it yet.” Ben turned to Mal, shrugging a little.

“Maternity ward is through that door right – oh my goodness.” The receptionist had finally looked up and discovered the kingdom’s leaders at her desk. Ben looked to where she’d begun to gesture and nodded.

“Thank you very much, ma’am.” He smiled at her, making her sink even lower into her chair. He and Mal walked away as people rubbed their eyes, moments before the chaos began.

A different stunned receptionist managed to stand up long enough to escort them to a back area where Jane, Jay, Carlos and Lonnie were all waiting, along with Doug’s parents and a couple of cousins.

“The fun has arrived.” Carlos announced when he saw them approaching.

“Really? Where?” Mal asked, looking back and forth along the corridor.

“Did we make it in time?” Ben asked, letting Mal’s arm go and clapping Carlos on the shoulder. Jay shook his head, rolled his eyes, and set an arm around Ben’s shoulders.

“You missed everything by approximately five minutes.” He informed them, flashing his watch face at Ben. “Doug just barely went back in. They’re cleaning the little one off and letting Evie breathe for a few minutes.”

“Girl?” Mal asked, peering into the door they were standing outside of. There was a tiny peephole in the center of the door, at about her forehead level. If she stood on her tiptoes, she could see dark figures rushing back and forth in front of a window.

“Yeah.” Lonnie nodded. “Seven pounds, three ounces, and about eighteen inches long.”

“Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but does she have blue hair or not?” Mal frowned, squinting into the room. She thought she recognized Doug’s frame, but couldn’t tell for sure.

“Doug didn’t say.” Jane laughed. “We might not be able to tell for a week. She might not have hair.”

Ben pulled Mal underneath his arm. “You can’t look in there. They’ll get mad at you.”

Mal pushed him away with a sneer. “I’m the queen of Auradon. I can do whatever I want.”

Everyone oohed at Ben as she slipped back out. He caught her hand, preventing her from turning at all since she couldn’t exactly move her spine much without, well, collapsing, and pulled her back, looking like he was about to give her a lecture. “No, no!” He laughed. “No, it doesn’t work like that.” He set his hands on her biceps as she rolled her head around on her neck.

“Ugh!” She groaned. “What do you think they would do if we just walked in?”

“You may not just walk in.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious; it’s not like they can throw us out. We literally own the hospital.” Mal frowned.

“She’s right.” Jane laughed. “The hospital is on government pay – just like Auradon Prep.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Ben began with a heavy sigh, holding up a finger by her cheek. “If you walk in there before they tell you that you can, I will walk you back out to the parking lot and take you back to the castle, and you’ll have to wait until Evie gets out to meet your Goddaughter.”

All of her friends snorted and scoffed, shifting their weight and folding their arms as they waited for her reaction. “If you can catch me.” Mal grumbled, folding her arms and turning her frame away from him. She could feel Ben roll his eyes at her from behind her.

“You can’t run.” Ben pointed out. “And we have two guards with us. And you’d have to come back to one of us eventually. It’s not like you could take the baby and never come back.”

“You know, strictly speaking, one of our goals would be accomplished and the other wouldn’t get to see the baby.” Mal pointed out, reaching towards the door handle jokingly.

“And I won’t bring you to see anyone else’s.” Ben added flatly.

Mal’s shoulders slumped. “You can’t barricade me inside the palace. I’m in charge of the grounds anyways.”

“Yes, but I’m in charge of the guards who patrol the borders.” Ben pointed out. “So, behave, or – you know what! Behave, or I’ll make you go through the same regulations I have to go through.” He crossed his arms and smirked at Mal as her mouth fell open.

“You wouldn’t!” Mal declared, crossing her arms and mimicking Ben’s stance without the slouch into his hip.

Ben leaned forward, dropping an arm around her shoulders, and kissed her brow. “Try me, sweetheart.” He challenged.

The door opened and a nurse appeared. “Alright, we’re ready for you all.” She announced. Jay and Lonnie immediately slipped inside, pushing each other playfully as they elbowed their way in. Jane followed them, and Carlos presented the walkway to Ben and Mal, letting them go ahead of him. As they passed in front of the nurse, her mouth dropped open and she gasped. “Holy Heavens of Aura-“

“Yes, yes, we know.” Carlos laughed, rushing Ben in a little faster before stepping over the threshold. “You can close the door and go freak out now.”

The nurse looked like she might faint as she shut the door and disappeared. Ben, Mal, and Carlos all crowded into the room. Doug was standing beside Evie with an arm around her. Evie herself looking about as messy as Mal had ever seen her. Her hair was in a bun with tiny little flyway’s surrounding her head like a fuzzy halo. She had eyeshadow and mascara on, but it was smeared a little around the corners of her eyes. Sweat still covered her forehead, and she was still breathing hard as she smiled at her friends.

“Hi.” She whispered.

“You look like you just crawled off the Isle.” Jay told her.

“You kidding? She never looked this bad on the Isle.” Mal rolled her eyes. She walked over to her friend and gave her a one-armed hug. “It’s great to see you skinny again.” She mumbled, wrinkling her nose at the smell of sweat.

“Ha, ha.” Evie rolled her eyes.

Mal looked around the room. The doctors had cleared out all of their mechanical tools and cracked the window open to let in a breeze. A little hospital bassinette was waiting on Evie’s right side, but Mal couldn’t see any mini-Evie lying around. “So… where did they put her?” She asked, craning her neck to look behind Jay and Lonnie, as if the baby might, for some reason, be behind them.

“You have no tact.” Carlos rolled his eyes.

“They took her away to clean her off.” Doug explained softly. “And take her footprints and stuff.”

“Have you named her yet?” Mal asked.

“She’s been alive for, like, a half hour at most.” Evie sighed. “And I’ve held her for five minutes. We probably won’t decide on a name until later tonight.”

Mal hummed and hugged Evie again. “Well, great job.” She mumbled. Being in the room was giving her anxiety. “You’re a lot stronger than I am.”

Jay made a disbelieving sound in the back of his throat. Evie shook her head. “That’s not true.” She scoffed.

“Ben, how many emotional breakdowns did I have in the two months I was pregnant?” Mal asked, returning to her husband’s side to allow everyone else to approach the table.

A dark shadow passed over Ben’s face, and a downcast expression appeared. He shrugged as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I didn’t try and keep track.”

Mal stuck a thumb out towards him. “See?” She told her friends. “That means a lot, by the way.”

The door swung open before anyone could say anything else and the same nurse wandered back in, pushing a little cart where a tiny person wrapped in pink lay. Everyone moved out of the way as the nurse moved into the room, keeping her eyes firmly on the ground, and then on Evie. Evie straightened up when she saw the cart coming and a broad smile spread across her face. “Hello, princess!” She whispered, holding her hands out.

The nurse picked up the baby carefully and placed it in Evie’s arms. “Now remember, balance her head and don’t let it fall too far back.” She warned.

Evie nodded with a deep breath. “I know, I know.” She whispered as the blankets dropped into her arms. She cradled the little girl to her chest with a smile. Mal tilted her head to the side as Ben dropped an arm around her shoulder. The nurse nodded and withdrew a few steps. She bumped into Ben’s side, turned, and almost leapt fifteen feet. With a yelp and several hurried apologies, she took off running out of the room.

Evie pulled the covers down to expose her little one’s chin. Her breath hitched, and everyone leaned in, even Doug, who’d already seen the baby. Evie let out a ragged breath. “Hello, little one.” She whispered, then paused. “I have waited my entire life for this moment.” She announced to the room.

Mal was reminded of her wedding, standing in the bathroom of the pub, staring at herself minutes before she made the best decision of her life. She didn’t quite understand why Evie felt like this moment – she was sweaty, lying in a hospital bed, and not looking nearly as perfect as usual – would be the culmination of her life’s work, but she could definitely relate to the feeling.

Ben leaned forward to watch the newborn. He still looked downcast. Mal bumped her hip into his, and he straightened up and wiped his expression clean as if he’d never looked nostalgic in the first place.

Jay examined her. “I don’t see any resemblance at all.” He announced.

“Look, Jay.” Lonnie sighed and pointed to the little girl’s nose. “She’s got Evie’s chin and nose.”

“Evie and Doug’s noses look exactly the same.” Jay deadpanned. “A nose is a nose.”

“Doug has a wider nose, and Evie’s is longer.” Lonnie explained. “And really, can you look between Jane and I and think our noses look exactly the same?”

Jay looked between Jane and Lonnie. His lips pinched together, and he said nothing. Lonnie tilted her head back and sighed. Jay held up his hands in silent defense of a statement he hadn’t even expressed, and then squinted back at the baby. “She looks like a very red potato.” He proclaimed.

Evie huffed and stared at him like he was a bug she wanted squashed. Jay backed away with his hands above his head. “Just sayin’,” He mumbled. Mal leaned forward and agreed with Jay in her head. The child’s skin was mottled and covered with red speckles.

“How long is she going to have those marks on her skin?” Mal asked, folding her arms. Ben began tracing little circles on her arm as he watched Evie cradle her newborn.

“Only an hour or two.” Doug shrugged, cracking a smile. “To be honest E, I see where Jay’s coming from. She doesn’t exactly look picturesque yet.”

Evie huffed and swatted at her husband irritably. “She’s perfect.” She announced. “I can’t wait till you’re old enough to like dresses and makeup and-“

“Mud.” Mal interrupted hurriedly. “And dirt, and magic, and climbing things, and running.”

“And boys.” Jay added, popping all of his knuckles all at once with an evil gleam in his eye. “Oh, we’re going to have so much fun with that!”

Evie pouted. “No.” She disagreed. “I changed my mind. I just want you to stay little.”

“Give it a week.” Mal suggested. “And when you’re up all night for the fifth time in a row, you can decide if you want them to stay little or not.” The room burst into laughter as Evie glared at Mal out of the corner of her eyes.

Jane wiped her hands on her skirt. “Can I hold her?” She asked. Evie immediately nodded and shifted so her hands were supporting the small girl’s frame. She handed the baby to Jane, who cradled her against her chest and cooed softly. Mal felt Ben’s arms leaving her frame and watched him take a few steps closer to Jane. He cupped his hand and rested it on the little girl’s head with a bright smile. Mal felt distinctly uncomfortable, so she took a seat on the edge of Evie’s bed.

“So, I know you had your list of names, but I forgot one I wanted to suggest.” Mal announced. Evie tilted her head and raised her eyebrow. “I think you should name her Bertha.”

“No.” Evie replied, almost immediately while Ben, Carlos, Jay, Jane, and Lonnie snorted and chuckled behind her.

“Why not?” Mal complained. “It’s good boy repellant. And having a name like that builds character. Plus, she’s going to be spoiled for the rest of her life – we have to do something to keep her head on the ground!”

“Boy repellant?” Ben snorted, letting his hand drop off Evie’s daughter. “Yeah, look how well that worked for you.” He gave her a hug from behind, pressing a kiss onto her hair. Mal’s mouth dropped indignantly.

“Yeah, but it’s my middle name.” Mal protested. “If you make it her first name, then there’s no way anyone won’t know.”

“Forget it, Mal.” Evie shook her head. “You can name your first child Bertha, but I’m going to name mine something perfectly respectable.” She turned to Doug. “Like Isabelle or Emily.”

“I still like Grace.” He shrugged.

“Emily Grace.” Ben suggested. “I mean, I know I’m throwing out the name I suggested, but…”

“You suggested Isabelle?” Evie asked with a laugh. “Wow. I should have known. I honestly thought Mal managed to come up with a decent name all by herself.” Mal wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue at Ben, who rolled his eyes.

“Are you trying to steal my thunder?” He asked, elbowing her a little.

“Which one doesn’t involve the kingdom, the lightning or the thunder?” Mal asked.

“Emily Grace.” Doug reminded Evie, who nodded thoughtfully.

“I like it.” She agreed. “We’ll have to see if it fits. For now, though, let’s all take a moment to thank the lords that Mal has Ben in her life so that her first child doesn’t end up Maleficent the Magnificent or anything like that.”

Mal almost fell off the bed as she began to laugh. “Maleficent the Magnificent!” She blurted out, holding her side as her damaged nerves sent SOS waves to her frazzled brain. “Ben, can we-“

“No.” Ben cut her off firmly. He held out a hand and gently covered her face. “Perish the thought.”

“I’m so sorry.” Evie apologized, covering her forehead as she watched Mal calm down, holding her side.

“Mal, you should hold your goddaughter.” Jane blurted out, changing the way she was holding the baby and preparing to hand her off. Mal took several deep breaths and straightened up. Her side was killing her still, but she calmed down and held her arms out.

Ben took a step behind her and Evie and Doug straightened up. The entire room, really, held its breath.

Jane put the little girl in Mal’s arms and, with a little help, the child settled into her elbow. Mal looked down at the little girl. She didn’t look any different than she had from Evie’s arms. She glanced around at all her friends. It was clear they were waiting for some magical, happy moment, but Mal wasn’t quite convinced.

“Cool.” She shrugged. “She’s really light. Ben, want her now?”

Ben let out a little sigh as Mal moved the girl to his arms. She brushed her hands off and discreetly got up to go grab some hand sanitizer as Ben examined the newborn. Everyone watched as a little smile spread across his face. Mal bit her lip as she rubbed the alcohol-scented substance into her skin. The baby, she realized, kind of smelled gross.

Ben tried not to look too awed, but the differences between she and he hadn’t ever been this clear. He thought this was awesome. She thought it was disgusting, though she was glad to see Evie happy.

Just think: only an hour ago that child had been covered in blood and fluid and – ew. Mal got another dose of hand sanitizer. No one else seemed to share her opinion. Jane got a bit of hand sanitizer before she took the baby back from Ben to hold her a little longer, which kind of defeated the purpose, Mal thought. Everyone lined up to hold the baby girl as Mal hung out by the hall, watching Evie and Doug whisper with bright smiles.

“You’re going to go with the Emily, aren’t you?” Mal called. Everyone glanced at her, and she took a few steps towards the group so it didn’t see as though she was backing away from them.

“We like Emily.” Evie agreed. “But we’re debating between Grace and Isabelle, actually.”

“Isabelle is cute, but I still think Emily Grace flows better and fits her more.” Ben advised them. “You could also call her Maddie.”

“I have a cousin named Maddie.” Doug shook his head. “I like Grace. All in favor of Grace?”

“This is not a democracy!” Evie sputtered as everyone in the room raised their hands nonchalantly. “This is our baby’s name!”

“And it looks like your baby’s name is Emily Grace.” Mal announced. “That was a unanimous vote, E.”

Evie sighed and sank back into her pillows. “Well, at least it’s a cute name.” She grumbled. Doug crossed his arms in success and smiled.

Two simultaneous beeps came from Ben and Mal’s cell phones, and both let out a sigh as they pulled out their screens, just as two more came through. Mal squinted at her phone, and then glanced up worriedly at Ben.

“What is it?” Carlos asked, looking over Ben’s shoulder.

“Palace alert.” Ben frowned. “We’re being traced, and we’re forbidden to leave the area. I wonder what’s going on?” The three standard messages from the palace guards were residing on their cell phones: You are being traced. You may not move. Your phone controls have been seized.

The doors to the hospital room opened and the guards stepped inside, clicking the safety on on their weapons. Ben put his phone away quietly, using Mal’s frame to hide the fact it was even out. Mal slipped hers up her sleeve as she turned to stare at them. “Is there a problem?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“We haven’t received word yet.” One guard answered. “But the palace alerts have been activated. Additional guards are on their way to escort you home.”

Mal sighed and turned to look at Ben. Ben had deflated a little, and his face was pinched with worry. He bit his lip and consider the guards. “Please, page my parents.” He mumbled and turned back towards Evie and Doug. “I think that’s a great choice but let me know if you decide to change it. I think… we’ll probably be leaving soon.”

Ben and Mal’s phones buzzed again. Ben sighed and moved towards the guards. He opened his phone and skimmed the message under their careful eye. His breath hitched.

“Ben?” Mal asked, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Ben turned and swallowed. “Dad just had another heart attack. He’s fine, and his heart didn’t stop this time, but we’re still being escorted home. They have his doctor up at the palace already, and he’s already stabilized.”

“That fast?” Carlos asked with a furrowed brow.

“It probably happened a few minutes ago and we were locked out when Mom sent for the doctor. It usually takes them like, two minutes to block our phones and notify us. He doesn’t live too far from the palace though, so everything should be fine.” Ben explained. He put his phone away and stepped back towards the group.

“I’m sorry you have to go.” Evie frowned. “And about your dad, Ben. Good luck. I hope everything works out.”

“It will.” Ben mumbled. “Thank you, Evie.”

The guards remained at attention at the doors. “You will remain in this room until reinforcements show up.” One commanded.

Mal sighed. “Please, don’t make a scene. We had enough people staring at us just walking into the hospital. We don’t need a fanfare.” She put her head in her hands.

“You’ll have to get used to security one day, Queen Mal.” The elder of the two guards grumbled.

“Eh, she doesn’t have to.” Ben shrugged. “I’ve been living under palace security my entire life, and under Kingdom guard the last eight years, and I still think it’s annoying.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “But, technically, you agreed to it. I didn’t get a choice.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re terrible at it.” Mal scoffed. She stepped towards Lonnie, who was still holding the baby. “Well, let me see my goddaughter before I go.” She sighed, leaning over Carlos’s shoulder to look at the baby again.

Lonnie passed the baby to Mal immediately. Mal jumped a little before she took the child. She’d meant the literal form of look, not the ‘give-me-the-baby’ kind of look. She fumbled the little girl’s head and glanced cautiously at Evie, who had gone rigid. Her mouth suddenly felt a little dry. “I – um – Emily Grace, I’m totally going to call you Bertha as you grow up.” She declared, and then turned to pass the baby to Ben. She examined the little girl with a nod and turned to Evie. “She’s cute. Good job, E.” She smiled and gave her friend a hug. Evie’s smile still seemed a little tight, but she hugged Mal.

The guards cleared their throats from the door as Ben continued holding Evie’s daughter. “More guards are arriving.” The elder announced. “We have orders to move you now.”

Ben sighed and handed Evie’s baby back to her. A bright, happy smile settled onto her mouth. Mal hummed as he linked their arms together and held her hand under the hand sanitizer dispenser as the guards opened the door to escort them out.

Their eighteen other guards were standing outside the entrance in a long line leading directly to a waiting car. Ben sighed as he pulled the keys to the car they’d driven out of his pocket and palmed them to one of the guards who’d driven with them. People came to gape as the guards took them up to the car, opened the door, and helped them in. Four guards from Ben’s squadron and four from Mal’s joined them in the car. Mal didn’t exactly see the point of having all eighteen drive down to escort them. They could have just as easily had them escort she and Ben to their room after they’d arrived back at the castle.

“Let’s say, one hundred years from now, an entire extended family lives in the palace.” Mal sighed, leaning into Ben’s shoulder as they started to drive away from the hospital. “Cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings-in-law-once-removed. Is everyone going to be shut down every single time something happens?”

“Well, no, because you may have noticed that things get less intense the further in line for succession you are.” Ben shrugged. “You’re second, as my wife, and immensely important because you’re the reigning queen, and then my parents are third and fourth, and so as time goes by and we get fifteenths and elevenths and so on, they won’t need to have as much security and can mostly chill.”

Ben wrapped his fingers through Mal’s and dipped his chin to whisper in her ear, so softly she almost couldn’t hear. “Do you need some anxiety medicine?” He asked.

Mal shook her head. “I grabbed some before we left.” She replied. “God, it smelled really bad in there. It was all over the baby too.”

“Evie will get her cleaned up.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Did you… not like her?”

Mal blinked. “No, Emily is great. I’m happy for Evie. She’s already a fantastic mom.”

‘And you’re already a fantastic dad,’ she thought sourly. ‘Even though the only kids we have are our annoying country of seventy-five million who hate our guts three quarters of the time.’ She felt guilty, even though she really didn’t need to be feeling guilty. He knew what he was getting into with her, and she knew what she was getting into with him, and eventually didn’t have to mean tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or even next year. By god, she was allowed to enjoy being married before she had to worry about a kid, right?

[banchoaniki]

Multiples of 4 then ☠

4: Talk show host: Imma be real w you I havent watched a talk show since attack of the show on g4 and that got cancelled years ago 8: Yankee candle scent: Fresh Balsam Fir. Smells like christmas and being cozy. Pine scents in general are god tier 12: Thing to cook: Anything that puts a smile on the face of those who eat it. Or Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Asparagus. Its easy, nutritious, and delicious. (That’d make a good dating profile header) 16: Book: Hard question. I’d have to go with Colorless Tsukuru and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami. 20: Holiday: Thanksgiving! I was born on it, so I have to like it. Other than that, toss up between Halloween and Christmas. 24: Movie: Uhhhhhhh, for live action, its a toss up between A Clockwork Orange and Apocalypse Now. For animated, Mind Game 28: Band: I dont follow a ton of bands, so Death Grips I guess. Its not like I dont listen to other music, but its mostly individual songs as opposed to deep diving into their discography 32: Athlete: I dont follow sports dude. Maybe like Usain Bolt cause he also has a pet tortoise like me.  36: Vehicle: Triump Bonneville T-100 40: Last person I got mad at: Uhh my former friend who’s girlfriend left him for being a piece of shit basically 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I’m not missing anyone a whole ton rn. Wish we could meet tho jaz! 48: Ever been in love: Of course, its great and terrible 52: My room is: Fairly messy rn but I’ll clean up soon.  56: Favorite web site: Certainly not tumblr dot com. Idk dude probably like youtube cause I spend a lot of time watching videos or listening to podcasts.  60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat their partners like crap 64: My friends are: Great people! Things have been getting better for a lot of people in my circle of friends recently, and they really deserve it! 68: The worst sound in the world: Nails on chalkboard.  72: Today: Pretty ok day. Need to get a few things under control and still need to work out a bit, but studied hard and met up w a classmate to work on a project together! 76: Right now I am talking to: No one in particular, but ive been talking to friends throughout the day 80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad when he woke me up 84: People call me: a lot of things im sure. Depends on who you ask.  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Connection to where I live. My family’s owned my house for almost 100 years now, living elsewhere lacks that certain je ne sais quoi 92: Got a peircing: Never! maybe in the future tho... 96: Changed a diaper: also never! didn’t have any siblings or a close connected family growing up so I never had to. When I’m a dad, I’m sure I will though 100: Cried in front of someone: Oh jeez, not really sure. Maybe a few months ago, but I can’t recall what for 104: The future: Its filled with infinite possibilities, I just have to work for a future I want. I’m not too worried about stability, but you never know. Always try to have contingency plans for your contingency plans.  108: Designer Clothes: Generally overpriced trash. I’d rather buy from a local artisan that makes clothes specifically for me. Not like I don’t shop for clothes or like looking good, but theres a lot of issues in the fashion industry that I take umbrage with and like to look for alternatives.  112: Facebook: Boomerbook is convenient website that I use on occasion but I find to be fairly toxic, like most social media, so i rarely post on it. I just use the messenger app to talk with friends. 116: Reality TV: Utter trash! There are a billion other ways to spend your time that are more productive and beneficial to yourself and others that getting caught up in some fake drama with celebrities.  120: Gay Marriage: I don’t believe any kind of marriage should be regulated by the government, as its a religious sacrament. If churches want to allow it, that’s their prerogative that I won’t infringe on, but that’s in an ideal world. As it stands, I don’t have any strong feels for or against it, insofar that I think most marriages are fairly toxic.  124: Disney or Six Flags: Didney Worl 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I’ll take both, thanks 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Whomst’d’ve?  136: Hillary or Obama: Both are genuinely terrible people like most, if not all, government officials in Washington.  140: Mac or PC: I built my own PC but iPads do be kinda fresh tho I can see why people who don’t have the same hobbies or interests prefer macs, their visual design blows most PCs out of the water, and they’re functional for work and video editing. They’re obviously overpriced for the performance, but you’re buying it for the label and the well designed UI (generally, theres obviously some UI designs that are/were less than great by apple) 144: Oranges or Apples: While I like oranges, I FUCKING LOVE apples. So yeah, apples, particularly Fuji apples.  148: Summer or winter: Winter. I live in Los Angeles. Our winters are mild and maybe drizzley. Our summers are hellish. Easy choice. 152: Phone or Online: Uh I mean I like talking on the phone but texting or instant messaging is super convenient and, really, a very different form of communication that I engage in more.  156: Orbs: Do i believe in orbs? What kind of orbs? idk dude this is very nondescript and im too lazy to research this. Orbs as a geometric object do exist yes. Jury is still out on whatever the fuck this is asking tho 160: Soul mates: A distinct possibility that I’d love to be true 164: Heaven: I’m catholic, pretty sure I have to believe in it.  168: Luck: Yeah, I believe in it, but I also believe we make our own luck most times. 172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah shes like 5′2  176: Last YouTube video watched: Sure hope you like smooth japanese jazz fusion  https://youtu.be/6GEI3PpXEAo 180: Marriage is: A great responsibility I hope to be ready for one day. It can be incredible and life-affirming or it can be soul crushing if you rush into things or just have a bad partner. I don’t mean to be cynical, I genuinely believe its a beautiful thing, but so many marriages today end up horribly, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of it at the same time.  184: Xbox or ps3: Whichever game console can give me a better user experience with better games and services. Right now that’s playstation, but I sincerely hope microsoft steps up to the plate next gen.  188: My bed is: A queen. Kinda messy rn.  192: I am allergic to: Nothing in particular 196: My eye color is: Green! I’m actually pretty proud of them, its the rarest eye color in the world, so its part of what makes me who I am.  200: My crush’s name is:  Jaz (no homo)  But also I’m not single so I don’t necessarily have any rn

PS: I sincerely apologize for this wall of text y’all 

[chaoticdisater]

school day reunions// a Hogwarts mystery

“you could come with,” Tonks flicks her pinky red hair back as she works on some light makeup, 

she was going to see her school friends for the first time in forever they where actually in England, they had scattered across the globe but now they where all getting together and she was so excited her new husband, on the other hand, was a little wary of tonks going out alone to meet a group of people she hadn't seen in years, 

“I doubt your friends want me there,” Remus looked up from the newish book that he had gotten just yesterday

“they're bringing their partners,” Tonks shrugged putting lipgloss on then grabbing her leather jacket from the closet  

“there bringing the person they've been dating for a little bit, not the person they're married to,” Remus pushed himself up from the bed where he was laying 

“well, all except for one of them things that marriage is a dumb money wasting contract,” Tonks gave a small grin then countered, “but I do have friends who are in a common law marriage,” she shrugged, 

“have fun I guess,” Remus shrugged when Tonks started to pull on her boots 

“really just come, you don't have to sit with us if you don't want to but come anyway, they'll get really mad if I say I'm married and I have no one to show for it,” tonks took Remus hand giving a little pout as she looked into his eyes,

“fine, but only because I don't want you to get murdered,” Remus defended, 

they walked to a small muggle bar just to streets away from where Remus and Tonks were staying, and in the back corner sat a group of eight people sat around a table each already had their drinks, 

“Hello,” Tonks  grinned as everyone turned to see her, 

“hey, tonkies poo,” a man from the other side of the table called 

“ugh Andre don't call me that,” Tonks huffed, “anyways, guys this is my husband Remus Lupin,” she grinned 

“excuse me you got married miss what even is love, got married” the girl sitting in front of her flicked her long brown hair back from her face, 

“yes?” tonks shrugged as she took Remus hand, 

“wow, must be some guy,” the girl next to her nodded looking over Remus face just the glare of her violet eyes made Remus squirm, she was twenty-five yet she was one of the most terrifying people she had ever seen. 

“Remus, this is raven midnight, and her annoying girlfriend Merula snyde,” Tonks back hugged Raven as she stuck her tongue out at Merula 

“it's nice to meet you, Remus,” Raven smiled up at Tonks and Remus, 

“beside Merula is Penny Haywood, we where Hufflepuff buddies together,” Tonks gave Penny a grin as she moved over to hug her, 

“yeah but we all know I was professor sprouts favourite,” Penny ran her hand through her shorter blond hair, she had these bright blue eyes that sparkled when she laughed 

“you where also snape’s favourite, news flash he still hates me, not that anyone is surprised,”  Tonks laughed “next to penny is, Ben Copper, hes my favourite little scardy cat,” ben just rolled his eyes but gave her a shy smile, “Next to benny-boo is Rowan Khanna, she is the smartest person that I've ever met,” 

“that's very sweet tonks, but I doubt I’m the smartest person you've ever met, I mean have you measured the intelligence of everyone that you have worked or meet,” 

“you say things like that I'm convinced you're the smartest person I know,” Tonks grinned at her antics, “next to Rowan is Ardre and Barnaby  who is dressed much better then I remember him ever dressing,” 

“Andre picks out my outfits now he doesn't trust me to dress properly as he says,” Barnaby shrugged as Andre shook his head 

“Oh baby what will my clients think if my boyfriend is poorly dressed, I can't have that” Andre turned and placed a small kiss on Barnaby's cheek 

“I do think you've met or at least heard of Charlie, hes bills younger brother,” Tonks pointed to the redhead in the corner of the table who gave a small grin,

“we meet at Bills wedding, if you can remember, you should have to meet raven to but,” Charlie looked at raven dead in the eyes 

“there's a war Char, and I had wanted to come but England is a right mess,” raven shook her head, 

“We missed seeing you, wasn't rowan invited to,” 

“I was on assignment in China I didn't get the invite until I got back and then it was too late” Rowan explained,

“what do you do?” Remus asked as tonks sat them between ben and penny, 

“Currently I work for the US wizarding government in charge of peace treaties but I work on contracts, mostly in interrogations and occliamacey but there isn't much work in that right now,” Rowan gave a small look down into her glass. 

“it gets harder every day,” Raven chimed in,  

“you're all highly educated,” tonks shrugs she didn't expect to be the most successful. 

“well when you've got a bad rep, most people won't hire you its gonna get worse if we live through this war,” Merula leaned into raven who softly kissed her messy hair. 

“we’ll get by,” Raven mumbled, 

Remus learned a lot that night

Raven and Merula had been dating since school both Charlie and Tonks took the responsibility for that, Merula said they started dating in spite of the two, Ben and Rowan lived together but they didn't date, claiming that they just worked as friends, penny was the best at potions and sometimes put snape to shame with her handy work, Penny worked as a potion master for a privet company she made the big bucks, but she lived out in Australia. marulas parents had been convicted death-eaters she was never a death eater but she got turned away from jobs just from her name, Raven was a bounty hunter of sorts, very good at it too, but she also worked with dragons, Andre was a stylist one of the best apparently and Barnaby worked in a book shop, Charlie was probably the best dragonologist on the planet, Andre and Barnaby had been dating for five years now, they lived out in the states. 

around midnight they headed back home. 

“your friends are nice,” Remus said as they walked down the night street, 

“there some of the best people ever, I wish I could spend more time with them,” Tonks sighed 

“Maybe when the war is over,” Remus suggested reaching for tonks hand 

“yeah, maybe” Tonks smiled back at him. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

//this was so much better when it was an idea in my head this didn't really end well or the middle wasn't great either,// 

[fantasticescapism]

Brothers in Everything but Blood - Chapter 1: Meeting Peter Parker

Summary:  Harley knew Peter Parker but they weren’t close, not yet at least. More like long-distance classmates? Fellow interns? Something like that. In an alternate universe, it may have been different. Maybe they could’ve been best friends, brothers even, but now that they’re only link was gone, Harley’s sure - as with most things in his life - this one’s gonna end as well.

Part 4 of the Never Truly Gone series

Also available at AO3.

Harley’s first impression of Peter Parker was of a perfect student, then again, he first heard of the guy from Tony Stark. It was in one of Tony’s frequent calls, around a month since Peter became Tony’s official intern.

“He’s really good. Awesome in robotics and mechanical engineering but definitely a genius in chemical engineering.” Tony sounded happy and excited. “I think you’ll like him.”

“If you say so, old man.” Harley was a bit distracted as he drew up a few schematics for one of the SI projects Tony assigned to him.

“Hey, I’m not old!” Harley snorted at Tony’s mock indignation.

“You saying that proved my point, old man.” He grinned as he made sure to emphasize the word ‘old’. “Next thing I know, Pew-pew Man’s got a cane.” Tony scoffed.

“Okay first, the suit in itself is a high-tech prosthesis. No cane needed.” Harley smirked as he pictured Tony’s narrowed eyes. “And second, stop calling it that.”

“What? Pew-pew Man?”

“Yeah, that.”

“The kids here like it, just like Iron Patriot.”

“Oh lordy!” Harley cackled at Tony. His mentor didn’t need to know that Harley introduced the nickname to the local kids and it stuck. “You’re a menace, Harley! I should’ve run the other way when I had the chance.”

“Oh please, you won’t get rid of me. We’re connected.” Tony chuckled at that.

“I guess you’re right.” Harley could hear the smile from Tony’s voice. “Okay, so when should I expect the schematics?”

“It should be done by tomorrow morning.”

“Kid, take your time. Don’t lose sleep for that. I don’t want to get another phone call from your mom complaining about your lack of sleep.”

“That was one time! And that’s rich coming from you!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I expect those two days from now. Not earlier, Keener.”

“Fine.”

“Then we’ll set a date for you to come to the compound so you could meet Peter.”

“Okay.” Harley’s a bit apprehensive and it seemed Tony sensed it.

“He’s a good kid, Harley. I know you’ll be good friends.”

“If you say so.” And that was that. Harley didn’t think more on that impending meeting. He thought Peter’s just some guy Tony found in some high school field trip in SI or something; just someone Tony knew and will be out of his hair after.

---

Boy, was he wrong. Peter’s like an… an… an overeager puppy. The abundance of positive friendly energy from him was overwhelming! He’s just so… genuine.

Tony, with a wide grin, introduced them to each other in his workshop; his arm around Peter’s shoulders as if to rein in the guy’s excitement.

“Harley, this is Peter. Peter, Harley.”

“Hi, I’m-I’m Peter.” Peter held out his hand for a handshake. “Mr. Stark’s been telling me a lot about you.”

“Really?” He looked at Tony with disbelief. Tony just smirked at him.

“Y-yeah. Like the time you helped him with Mark 42’s repairs-” Peter stepped closer and Harley knew Tony had been hyping him up to the guy.

“After I broke off one of its fingers-”

“Then designed the retroreflective panels for the quinjet-”

“For stealth mode-” Harley looked at Tony as if to ask where he found Peter but all he got was a fond smile as the man enjoyed the scene in front of him.

“The machines you designed and built for SI, they’re so cool!” Peter finished with a grin.

“Dude, I’m just a mechanic.” He patted Peter on his arm. “I just build stuff.”

“Awesome stuff!” Peter was genuinely at awe that it flattered Harley but, in true Harley style, he simply smirked and shrugged. He kinda felt bad that he knew next to nothing about Peter. He should’ve asked Tony more.

“Okay boys, gotta go for a bit. Pep’s been hounding me to go to this meeting for days.” Tony looked at them both with a stern glare and pointed. “Do not blow up the workshop. No dangerous machines or chemicals. No hacking of any government servers, I’m looking at you Harley.”

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised.” Harley said as Peter looked at him with disbelief. “Besides, it’s your fault,” he smirked, “you’re the one who taught me how.” Peter’s wide eyes turned to Tony.

“Shut up! FRIDAY’s in charge. Got that baby girl?”

“Got it, boss.” FRIDAY’s amusement was evident in her voice.

“Okay, see you boys in two to three hours or so. Then, it’s movie marathon tonight.” Tony waved back as he walked towards the elevator.

“See you, Mr. Stark!”

“Yeah, yeah, just get out of here, Tony.” Tony raised his hand in a peace sign before he disappeared from view.

“Hey, you must be hungry.” Peter walked towards the pantry. “We should have enough for a sandwich here.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Harley started to follow but a sudden idea struck him like lightning that it stopped him in his tracks. Peter sent him a questioning look. “Peter, what if...”

---

Harley found that the best way to get to know a person was via working on a project. He got to know who the slackers, the opportunists, the cocky shits and the know-it-alls were in only a few hours of work. It didn’t take long for Peter to open up though. Apparently, Tony found him through the September Foundation grant application. Harley thought that was odd. The foundation doesn’t offer grants to high schoolers and Harley’s familiar with every program Tony and Pepper started. He shelved that info for later.

He’s delighted to find out that Peter’s a very fast learner. Not only that, Harley could really see that Peter’s eager to learn. He understood why Tony likes the guy. Even he liked the way Peter understood the concepts without overly explaining them. He wouldn’t admit it but working with Peter was kinda reminiscent of the times Harley taught his little sister some stuff, mostly for pranks. Damn, this guy triggered his big brother emotions.

“You okay there, Peter?”

“Yeah, almost done… There.” Peter wiped his brow with his sleeve, socket wrench in his hand. “That should do it.”

“Let me see.” As he expected, the work was perfect. “Awesome, let’s test this baby!”

“Umm…” Peter nervously picked on the socket wrench in his hand. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yeah.” Harley frowned a little. Was there something wrong with their work? “Why?”

“It’s just that- Won’t Mr. Stark get mad?” Oh. Harley chuckled.

“Nah! Don’t worry, I got you. Besides, this isn’t dangerous, right FRIDAY?”

“Yup. Potentially messy but definitely not dangerous.” FRIDAY answered.

“See?” Harley grinned. “You do have quick reflexes, right?” Peter nodded. “There you go. It’s gonna be fine. Alright, FRIDAY log ASM Mark 1.0 test 1.”

“Sure, Harley.”

---

It worked beautifully! Well, granted they had to make some adjustments here and there; also there were some unfortunate mishaps but it was awesome. Harley smiled as he bit his tuna fish sandwich. He’s sure Tony would-

“What in the-” Tony walked in the workshop, bewilderment plainly seen on his face. “Why is- is that a plate stuck on my wall?!” There was indeed a plate on a hole in the wall. The plate remained remarkably intact.

“H-hey, Mr. Stark.” Peter was beside Harley as he nervously waved at Tony, grilled cheese sandwich in his hand. “Sorry about the mess.” Tony visibly sighed and closed his eyes. A giggle was heard by the elevator and sure enough, Pepper was there.

“Tony, what do you expect? You introduced two genius kids to one another.” Pepper walked closer and carefully walked over spots of mustard, mayonnaise and slices of pickles on the floor. “Hi, kids.”

“Hey, Pepper!”

“Hi. Ms. Potts!”

“Okay honey, you got me there.” Tony must’ve finished with his round of cleansing breath. He was calmer when he turned to them. “Boys, what’s this?”

“It’s an automatic sandwich maker or ASM Mark 1.3.” Harley stood proud as he presented their joint creation.

“Three?!” Tony exclaimed.

“Yeah, umm.” Peter walked closer to the machine. “In the first version, the machine blew up-”

“Blew-blew up?” Tony looked like he’s gonna blow up himself.

“That explains the food everywhere.” Pepper looked around.

“Yeah and then after we fixed that, we thought it would be cool if the sandwiches come with plates but…” Peter said.

“But it came out too fast and too hard.” Harley pointed at the plate on the wall. “Projectile plate.” Tony facepalmed. “You guys got heavy duty plates!”

“Any of you hurt? Please tell me no one was in front of that thing when it happened.” Tony pleaded.

“Well…” Peter scratched the back of his head.

“This guy’s got crazy quick reflexes!” Harley playfully punched Peter’s arm.

“Didn’t I specifically say ‘no dangerous machines’?! FRIDAY?!”

“Peter does have quick reflexes and therefore not in danger. Besides, it only happened once.” FRIDAY cheekily answered.

“Did she just-” Tony sighed. “My children rallied against me. Oh god, is this karma? This is karma, isn’t?” Tony looked miserably at his fiance but Pepper just laughed.

“It seems so honey, but it’s okay. Now you know how I feel when you do crazy stuff. You’ll survive.” She smiled at him and rubbed his arm before she turned back towards the kids. “Is this version good then? Would you boys make me a sandwich?”

“Yeah, what do you want?” Harley walked closer to the machine and gently tapped the side. “This baby can make any sandwich. Well, depends on the available ingredients.”

“So far we got mustard, mayo, butter, ketchup,” Peter pointed at the containers on the machine, “tuna, pickles, cheese, ham, bacon, white bread and wheat bread.”

“Ham and cheese in wheat bread, please.”

“Alright, one ham and cheese in wheat bread sandwich coming right up.” Harley entered the order via a holo-screen and they all watched as the machine did its job. Harley was proud of the machine he made with Peter and when he looked at the guy, it seemed he was too.

“Wow,” Pepper was impressed when a plate of beautifully made sandwich was gently pushed out of the machine, “would you boys modify this so we can place it at the canteen at SI?”

Harley and Peter looked at each other, excitement in their eyes and twin smiles on their faces.

“You got it, Pepper!”

“Sure, Ms. Potts!”

“Okay but,” Tony interrupted, “you’ll only work on this when I’m here. You guys need supervision.”

“But we did fine!” Harley protested.

“Uh-uh, my workshop, my rules.”

“Fine.” Harley sighed.

“Got it, Peter?”

“Yes, Mr. Stark.”

“Good, now,” Tony looked at the mess around the workshop, “clean this up then we’ll order pizza for movie night. Dum-E and U will help you out.”

As both boys retrieved the mops and rags from the closet, they listed the modifications and features they could add to the ASM. They had a lot of work to do but that only made visiting New York a lot more exciting. At the end of the day, Harley not only had fun, he also gained a new friend.

He cannot deny however that there’s still something unusual with Peter. The Stark Foundation grant? The crazy quick reflexes? At first he brushed it off but, the nagging feeling that something’s going on was still there. Ah well, he’ll find out sooner or later.

[nana-lew-rp]

Dayna Shouldn’t Be Allowed An Imagination|| What If AU

@kickthepj-rp @nerdynumme-rp @danhowell-rp @amzngphil-rp @ledabunnie-rp

April 2012, Institute of Youtube Dormitories

“It would be interesting to know why you think that, Rosie Posie,” Cyr said, putting his shirt back on.

The girl, in a huff, covered herself with her top sheet, then getting up and checking her phone, “I’ve got class in about 30 minutes,” she said, “I don’t think I can explain in that amount of time.”

“Well, how about this, babydoll-”

“DOn’t..call me a babydoll...I’m your Rosie Posie,” she bit at him as he touched her waist and her slapping it away, clutching her sheets tight. Her thighs were rubbing together to hold herself back. She’s done enough for today. She wouldn’t be able to have anymore of Vincent, even if she wanted to...but Mark-

“You got that, Rosie?” Cyr asked, tilting his head as he finished what he was saying.

“Uh..uh..huh? What?” Ro, who had her blush migrate to her face as he looked at her. Why must he look at her like that? “Sorry I was lost, what’d you say?”

“I said...You go ahead, take a shower, go to class, and we’ll just talk about it some other time..Like we usually do. I gotta deal with something myself for a few hours,” he said, looking for his bag.

“Oh..o-ok,” Ro gave him an answer, but she was still riding her high, her legs trembled and her skin was growing cold from their hot touches. She had Mark to look forward to, and Cyr was finally playing his role. If only her body could catch up. 

“Alright, I’ll catch you later...and one more thing,” Cyr said as he changed his tone, getting close to the girl as she walked him to the door. He snaked his hands on the side of her neck and onto her waist, breathing her scent deeply just enough to get her to fall apart, “Assurez-vous de penser à moi en cours de français, Rosie.”

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Cyr walked across the campus to the girl who hadn’t been to her class all week. And knew he was going to be met with some interesting words. He got up the stairs and texted her that he was coming up the steps. 

Leda breathed hard, and began to scramble to spruce up her dorm, which wasn’t all that dirty, but it would be indicative of how little she left her room. SHe knows he knew, but still. If anything, it was for the people she said she didn’t care about that lived outside of her door who could possibly peer in and see that she was not only alive, but that her room was a mess. She wore what she usually wears, not like she was trying to impress him today. Her thoughts halted by the door opening. 

“How was Ro?” she asked as she went into the bathroom to grab some dirty clothes and towel off of the floor.

“Getting better at French, and taking her meds, what about you?” Cyr asked, kicking his shoes off and opening his shirt. 

“I think I actually remembered what I did yesterday...and oh yeah, I saw you, and almost vomitted. I just can’t place whether it was before or after the panic attack I got trying to catch up in class,” she said, folding her arms, standing in front of him.

“Ha haaah, I see coming with fierceness even though you asked me to come over is what you’re going for today..your horoscope tell you to do that?” he asked, shifting his feet, grinning lightly.

“Urgh! You’re so overbearing, and no! My horoscope that I needed to find company today by reinducing routines,” she said, pushing his chest and walking past him to her desk, pushing her papers and books together into a pile, “Do you have anything better to do than sit here and act like a fucking pain in my side?”

“So your routine of inviting me over even though I sicken you..I’m starting to see something here...” Cyr said, taking off his jeans and throwing them over her desk chair and laying back on her bed, “And to answer your question: Biology, Historical Literature, I actually went to Government, then left halfway through because your bestie wanted to ask me a question and once again let me know how my brash demeanour offends her, so I skipped lunch. Then, just as I laid down and you told me I was overbearing, I could hear the transition bell to my double Honors Calculus class, and by the time you cum..if you want to today, I’ll have missed French and Classical English...”

Leda got so angry when he said all of that. “I’m not fucking stupid! Why are you missing class? You clearly could benefit from going! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” she was just so mad at him because she’s missing her classes too, and he’s got confidence that she wishes she could bottle up and drink, “I can take care of myself! I don’t even know what idiot would see you as anything more than some misogynist, enabling pig!”

Cyr opened one of his eyes, turning his head and looking at Leda, whose cheeks were pink with effort. And he knew the difference. He had to fight whatever version of Leda this was that was averted by him. He rose from the bed, standing up and towering over the girl, putting his hand in his hair to push it back and put it into a ponytail, using a hairtie that either she or Ro had given him, and pulled his hair back. “You done?” 

“Urgh! That’s so like you to act like none of this phases you..Like you’re better than all of-mmmmph!” her speech is halted by a soft kiss to her lips. She moaned lightly against his lips, beating on his chest a few times before he deepens the kiss and her arms crossed behind his neck. It made her melt into the man that she knew, the one who made her feel something, even if it’s not healthy. She didn’t even think about Cameron calling or texting her throughout the day. 

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Across the campus, a series of loud noises and moans can be heard from the bottom floor of the dormitories. Kalel whined against PJ’s lips and yanked his hair again. “Fuck!” he screamed, tilting his head backwards as he finished and slowed his movements. Both panted and slunk back into the bed in the messy room, Kalel smiling a little as she cuddles against PJ, who reached over blindly for his phone. “You grabbing dinner?” he asked, looking at her.

“Yeah, probably just head out from here-”

“Don’t..I have someone coming for a study date..” he was quick to answer.

“Urgh! Who? Maybe if you lean on’em they won’t squeal,” she said, sitting up and slowly getting dressed.

“It’s Joey..then Felix,” PJ said, pushing his hair away from his face, sitting up on the bed, “They’re failing...uhhh..Joey’s failing English, and uhm..what was- Oh! Right. Felix is studying for a maths test that he has to makeup and the one coming up..he was sick.”

“Sick or getting over a hard case of withdrawal?”

“That’s none of your business,” he bit back, “He’s just trying to keep his grades up.”

“Isn’t Pewds also trying to clean up for Shane, who’s, like, his new beau or whatever?” 

“That..is also...none of your business,” he said, putting a shirt on.

“Aw, of course that’s none of my business...I’ll swing by tomorrow to finalize those plans for the rooftop and the grade changes,” she said, drawing close to him and stroking his torso, then looking him in his eyes.

“That’s my girl. You’re getting in contact with the school with access to the roof?” he smiled, stroking his hand across her jaw, scoffing lightly at her nod and lean into his touch, “I could just eat you up, you know that, right?”

“Mmmh...Can you do that next time?” she said with a smile, bringing a hand up to his jawline and stroking his scruff, “I could use more stimulation..”

“I’ll be sure to help you with that,” PJ said, looking down at her one more time before planting his lips on her forehead, “Alright, remember to make a left at the boiler room and you’ve got about 10 seconds to close the fire door before the alarm goes off and go to the right to avoid the camera...And I’ll see you in Anatomy class.”

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Cyr and Leda’s moans echo through her room and some rhythmic thumping. He could hear another transition bell, and kisses the girl while he continues so he quiets her. It was the end of the day. She scratched his back and he groaned in pain, bringing his hands up as he slowed his movements and pinned her hands back down.

They laid in a mess of pants and light moans, Cyr rolling off and laying back. Leda, automatically, rolled towards him, cuddling close to his chest and letting his lowering heart rate soothe her for a little longer. “I love it when I’m right,” he says with a smile, looking out of the window and grabbing his box of cigarettes and lighter. He stared up at the ceiling while he smoked.

“I do too, Vince..Just..do you have to be such a dick about it?” Leda asked, giggling a little, looking up at him.

“It’s the only way you listen, Leeds. Maybe you should think about that,” Cyr replied, raising an eyebrow at the girl. 

“Uhm...well..all that’s nice, but uhm..can I talk to you seriously for a second?” Leda, asked rather sheepish, but she knew it was the only time they’d be truly alone and had the strength. When Cyr nods and looks at her, he puts out the cigarette, and sits up a little, she takes a deep breath. “So uhm..I know you and Rosanna are..not really trying to be together, but I know she’s trying to get with Mark. And..I feel like you’re..keeping hoptions open and keeping her from being..better..And uhm...I wanna take a chance..a real chance,” she trailed off as she watched the boy light another cigarette. 

“You mean like..you and me?” Cyr asked, exhaling the smoke up and out of her face, “Are you serious?”

“I mean..yeah. You’re not with anyone-”

“You may have not considered that’s for a reason or something?”

“What do you have better to do?”

“...Are you really placing a relationship as some sort of casual past time?..What if it’s not..right?” he asked, almost timid with him becoming vulnerable in the conversation.

“And what if it isn’t?” she asked, twirling some strands of her hair, grabbing for his cigarette to take a quick drag.

“I’d kill myself,” he said, grimly.

She wanted to laugh, but the girl felt something serious about his words. And to her, it made some sense as to why. “Well, I promise you, I’ll help you make it perfect,” she said, giving a soft and unsure smile. What did she know about perfect? Aside from what Cameron thought she was.

Cyr leaned in and took the cigarette away from her, sitting it on the window sill, then pulled her in for a kiss. “It’s not an exact thing, and it scares me, but for whatever reason, I believe you,” he mentioned, kissing her again, “You feel like doing your homework yet?”

“I couldn’t even begin to catch up. I’ve missed too much..Why do you care so much all of the sudden?” Leda bit back, blushing from the kisses and moving around him kissing her body, “Vincent, baby, I’ll just repeat...what are you doing?”

“You can’t get outta here without good grades. And you can get the catching up packets they provide if it looks like you’re trying to get it together..And from my experience, it’s easier to improve progress and behaviour with a motive and reward, so I’m gonna give you one,” he said, snaking his way down with peppered kisses. 

“What? Sex? I don’t need to have sex with you to motivate me to do my work! It’s not g-gonna..o-oh god..” Leda started but interrupted herself with a moan.

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“You had enough yet?” Phil asked, looking at Dan from writing on his laptop, “You stopped working on your packet about 45 minutes ago.”

Dan was a complete mess, he couldn’t think straight for the life of him. Especially since Phil was at the controls, “Can you..at least turn it down?..I don’t think...I’m..done..” he cracked out between heavy pants, swallowing hard.

“Danny, you forgot to say the magic words..And anyway, I wouldn’t think your pants can handle it anymore..You’ll have to walk out with my jacket on your waist..that is..if you can walk,” he said, checking his phone and then placing a hand on Dan’s leg, taking in all of the whimpering sounds and light moans, “Just say the word and I’ll do it,” he said, kissing the boy’s cheek.

“P-Pplease..Zach..I-I have to f-f-finish..” he seeped out before hiding his mouth in his sleeve as he attempted to soften his noises.

“Okay, my sweet baby. Since you asked so nicely and you’ve been so well behaved...Also, the library’s closing in like 2 hours, and we all know you won’t finish it in your room..or Phil’s..” he obliged, going into his pocket and turning the setting back down. The boy relaxed, panting, then rested his head on the table, letting light moans escape. “Baby...oh my god..you okay?”

“Fuck!..I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Dan snapped a little, writing in his packet.

“Talked you into what? Getting your packets done?..Wow, you’ve been busy..” Phil said, flipping through all of the completed packets on the table. He was so impressed and didn’t think they’d ever get all of these done in one day. “How long have you been working on these packets?”

“God! You don’t know?! We’ve been here since the library opened at like..5 in the morning, which, I didn’t even know the library was open that fucking early, holy shit,” he said, slamming his pen down, “Two of those packets were fucking useless, and I hate you for making me do that on top of all this work.”

“Uhh..what else have you been doing aside from doing your work?” he asked, almost afraid of his answer. He realized that they were in the back of the library, at one of the most secluded tables behind shelves of books. He reached to pat his pants down, trying to find his phone, and hitting the remote, which made him dig into his pocket and pulled it out, seeing the little bar at a two and the other number at a two. “Oh my god, Dan...” he said, then turning it off and shoving it back into his pocket, “Forget finishing the packets, you need a shower,” he said, concerned.

“I-I’ve got literally 3 pages left, I’m just happy you stopped,” the brown-haired boy mentioned. 

“Alright finish those pages, I’ll be right back, okay?” Phil asked, kissing his boyfriend on the head and then on the lips, giving him his jacket. 

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Winter 2011/Spring 2012

“What?” Cyr asked, sitting up as he looked at the girl who has appeared in his room almost by magic. She was blushing and red with embarrassment and about to cry. He stood up quickly and embraced her.

“I-I-I..I’m so scared...” she whined out, pressing against the boy, “I-I didn’t even know I could get pregnant..Vincent..I-I can’t do this..H-He’s gonna be looking for me..W-what about-” she stammered, tears streaming down her face. 

“It’s fine, babe it’ll be okay. I won’t even let him come close to you or the baby..but..you gotta-”

“Stay here?! Vincent..I-I really can’t! He’s gonna find me, he’s gonna kill you. I can’t do this! Can I get an abortion? What if I just miscarry? Vincent...I’m not ready,” Leda panicked and Cyr simply shook her a little to get his attention. She slapped him, and pushed him hard, he grabbed her arms and waited for her to stop flailing. “Let me go! I have to get out of here! He’ll find me! I have to pack! He’s coming! Vincent please, I don’t wanna watch you die! I don’t wanna go back! I can’t go back, he’ll kill me, he’ll kill me Vincent, please!”

“Look, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. I promise. He’ll have to deal with me and my kid over my dead body.”

///

The room a wreck and Leda stood over his body. She clutched her torso, feeling her daughter shift at almost knowing it’s over. That the stress has died down. That the hunt and the chase was over. She didn’t have to run. She didn’t have to lie or hide or change anything in the hopes he’d never find her.

The distant sirens drew her back into the reality. He looked like he was smiling there, even with brutal bludgeoning and stab wounds. It mocked her. He was gonna get up any second now. 

“Leda..come on, come on, the cops are coming,” Cyr said, pulling her gently by her arms, putting a hand on the middle of her back, “It’s okay..It’s alright, it’s over now. It’s all over. He’s not coming back.”

May 2017

Cyr walked around his loft, smoking a cigarette and getting ready for a shower. It was big and empty and he was happy to even breathe on his own in this apartment since his most recent beau moved out and broke up with him. It was easier this way. He got a phone call from Leda that disrupted all of this and before he could even get-

“Open the door, Vincent,” her voice said, panting slightly. He rushed to the door and saw Leda, her hair back to another celestial colour, and with Isla in tow.

“Daddy!” she yells, pulling her hood down and running to the legs of her father.

“*gasps* Princess! Oh my god your hair is getting so long! You look just like mommy and daddy..”

“But daddy, mommy doesn’t have brown hair,” she corrects him, “She has space queen hair.”

“Yeah, you’re right baby, I’m sorry. You’ll get yours when you get older.”

“But I want it now! Mommy said it’s in my genes! Look I’ve got stars growing in my hair!” the little girl protested, shaking her head and all of this glitter falling out. It immediately made Cyr look to Leda who simply shrugged her shoulders.

“Hey, pumpkin, how about you go look around the house and find your favourite sheets while Mommy and Daddy catch up, hm?” he asks as the girl nods and starts running around the apartment, effectively laying waste to the organized and clean loft. 

“How long can we stay?” Leda asked immediately as she sat her stuff down.

“When does she have to be back at school?” Cyr asked, flipping his hair and throwing his glasses above his head to hold it back. 

“She doesn’t go to school-”

“What?”

“She’s been with me-”

“And you’re doing what? Being a nomad still?” 

“I just couldn’t stay-”

“Yeah, just like you left the Youni. Just like you left Colorado. Just like you left Florida. I paid for you to be in Pennsylvania on both sides-”

“Look I’m sorry I just couldn’t stay-”

“Why? Yeah she’s gonna be interesting and have stories, but you can’t just bring her here and expect me to cram 3 years of preschool in her head-”

“I didn’t need you to do all of that-”

“Why can’t you just live here permanently?” he asked, walking her and their stiff back into his bedroom.

“I just can’t. You know that!”

“Cameron’s been dead for years, Leeds...Our child’s life is the one you’re ruining here...and I worry for you two while you’re out there, and she’s being seen by people,” Cyr laments with a sigh, lighting a cigarette and opening one of his windows in the room, “It’s not that I can’t afford it, but...I can’t afford doing it frequently..at least..the both of you.”

“I still know he’s out there..Vincent, I’m sorry-”

“But he’s not, babe..You’re supposed to be going to therapy for it..You dropped out of school to write the books..And then what?” he asked.

“I-I-I didn’t even expect to have her-”

“I know, but how long do you think you have before it affects her?..It’s not always about you, Leda. At least not anymore.”

“Mommy told me she didn’t want me. I’m her little miracle,” a small voice chimed from the doorway, “Her body didn’t want me and her head got all crazy and she forgets about me. And Daddy...who’s Cameron? Mommy won’t tell me.”

The two froze and looked at the little girl in the doorway. She had her fists balled at her sides, then rubbed her eyes, the universal indication of a sleepy child. Cyr looked at Leda, who was still stunned because she tried so hard to hide it. She never meant for her to feel this way. “Sweetie, come here, come here..Are you ready for bed? Hm?” Cyr said as he picked her up, the little girl leaning into her father’s body. 

“Daddy, I wanna know about Cameron..I don’t wanna go to bed,” Isla said, looking at her father. He sighed and walked with the girl out of his bedroom. 

“Alright, honey. You wanna know about Cameron, huh?..I’ll tell you. It’s about time you knew anyway. We’re a family, and families either keep secrets together or we don’t have any secrets, okay?” Cyr asked, as he sat her on the counter, trying to get her some ingredients for a sandwich. The little girl nodded as she swung her feet and watched her father move. “Ok so Cameron...Is what we call an ex-boyfriend. It was somebody your mommy used to like, but she didn’t anymore so they stopped being around each other. He didn’t like that and tried to take her for himself. He would find where she was and take her and keep her all to herself. Mommy had been on the run a lot because once she got away from him, she had to keep moving. If she didn’t, he’d find her. So when Mommy and Daddy met at our big fancy school and right when Mommy found out she was having you, she was scared. Scared because she was young. Scared because he was still out there. And scared because she felt like she wasn’t ready. She thinks only of herself when she’s scared. Baby, it doesn’t mean Mommy doesn’t love you. When you were born, she looked at you and said ‘Wow..she’s so beautiful..I can’t believe it. She’s actually alive. Vincent..we did this.’ And I remind her of that. So honey, I’m sorry your mommy makes you move a lot but she has what is called PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It means she thinks that Cameron is out there, but he’s not. Mommy and Daddy killed him. And that’s something I’ll explain when you turn ten, babydoll.-”

“Mommy told me what it means,” she interrupted him, giving a smile.

“Oh yeah? If you’re such a brainiac, then what don’t you tell me then.”

“She told me that she hit him a lot in the head and stabbed him to get all of his evil out. And then she shot him because his life force was evil, so she had to get it out so that it can be turned good and given to a baby or help someone who doesn’t deserve to die,” Isla explained, playing with her night gown. 

“Well, then I’ll give you a better one when you’re ten, sweetie,” Cyr was surprised, but he nodded as he poured the warmed milk into a cup and handed the girl the sandwich. 

“Thank you daddy,” Isla said with a smile.

“Anytime, my little ray of sunshine!” he said, kissing the girl on top of her head, “Once you finish that, it’s off to bed, okay? It’s getting late.”

“Daddy, I wanna live with you,” the little girl said with her mouth full and drank a sip of warm milk, “I’m tired of playing with Mommy. I always know where you are. I sometimes don’t know where we are. And, and sometimes I see kids playing and Mommy doesn’t let me play with them. I wanna go to the playground and play pretend with other little kids like I see on the TV sometimes...”

“Is..Are you sure? I’d love to see my little girl everyday. You’re getting so big! I’d hate to miss another moment. Well, look, you’re gonna be with me all summer, okay? Mommy said you guys are staying here for a while. So when the time comes, I’ll get you in school, or if you want, I can homeschool you? Sound like fun? Most kids go to school in August and September and it’s May right now so everybody’s going to camp and to the beach. You’ll hang out with kids, okay? No more grownup shit.”

“Yeah..no more grownup shit-” the girl smiled and kicked her legs faster.

“Don’t said that word again, okay? Only in the house.”