#this is so funny im gonna shrivel up and die | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

borathae · 6 months ago

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Chapter 27

oof i feel like a kid getting into living room while dad is having a meeting

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

Some of his fellow Rippers and Gluttons snicker upon seeing their almighty Creator so flustered by a human. xd

you stop talking when you hear just how silent the room became. thats more than enough for my voice to go shaky and crackly, and start doing spoonerism

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh"

“You’ll regret this”, you press out. for real

“Of course you don’t, not at all.” “Shut up.” ofc yoognles

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

“I grew hungry all of a sudden" wut 👀 “Stay away from her." KOOK I LOVE U “I will go hunting of course.” oh scared me for a second haha

“Oh”, Seokjin laughs in relief, “that sounds logical yeah.” MOOD

You have studied him and watched his every move and habits. He never takes his keys with him when he is hunting in fear that he might lose them. DAMN LOVE FUCK UR HOT WOOO but they are vampires, they dont need soo much sleep and is quiet, be more careful

FUCK BUSTED KNEW IT, WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

“Ha! You’re so easy to mess with!” SHE IS SO ANNOYING I- I LOVE HER MARRY ME

oh we going on a tresure hunt mission

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

Cold and dark corridors, always broody and never smiling. He is such a stereotype. XD exposed lol

“I’m literally going to die of a heart attack here”, you murmur. would be the funniest death tho, heart attack while searching for keys 😭😭

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

OMG WHAT DID HE DO AAH I CANT IM STRESSED FUCK

ok now can we let tae out or at least visit him???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN

preferably you hope he pisses off altogether. To the other side of the world. mood

“Hobi seriously, if this is another one of your sad stories only for it to then end in you getting edged during a blowjob I’m gonna scream” 😭😭 did he bore her with his story already wow

An hour later I am speeding down a mountain at three hundred miles per hour whilst screeching like an idiot.” yeah i can hear his screams perfectly (run bts, thank you)

My lower spine was shattered, my legs dead and Annelise had to carry me down the mountain like a sack of potatoes before my spine finally healed again.” wow HEKC YEAH I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE HOBI TURN ME AND YOONGI TRAIN ME THEN I CAN DO RECKLESS SHIT

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

FUCK OFF KOOK DONT TALK TO ME OR MY SON OR MY SONS SON OR MY SONS SONS SON

“I thought that he is like me.A, a Ripper or a Glutton a-and I wanted to make him feel how it feels like to lose control.” yeah cuz thats not torture at all

kook ur cute but thats it go away stop tempting me u evil potato FUCK I CANT EVEN CURSE AT U NOODLE no NOODLE IS GOOD UM FUCK U GARLIC YEAH THAT WORKS

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

“Oh my god”, you exclaim, giving him a quick glance, “read the room, will you?” i feel soo bad for him BUT NO I SHANT FALL FOR HIS TRICKS, HEAR THAT YOU BITTER GOURD??

CUZ SHE IS TIRED OF GIVING FUCKS SHES OUT OF FUCKS CUZ I AM FUCK A TAE FUCK A KOOK FUCK A YOONGLES BYE IM GOING TO ANGRILY STOMP AROUND THE ROOM 3 TIMES AND GO BACK TO SIMPING (u didnt hear that u tomato)

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

i'm actually very sad :( he just wants people to like him :(

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

interesting theory about her being a witch I LOVE WHEN you guys just have theories 👀

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

like he's just secretly a big softie confirmed

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh

SHE IS THE CUTEST!!! i love her so much

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

ME TOO gaaaah *bites him*

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

he is so BAD at pretending ahhhaha

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

BUT DID HE LIE????

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

lmaoaooa

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

HAHAHHHAHAHHA this is the best reactionhahahahah

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

mhhhhhhhhhm

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

No but this is actually so sad :(

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

lmoaoa the fact that she is ALWAYS busted when she does stupid shit fajdsjf

no but me for real. I'd probably end up hurting myself once and then never doing it again cause I can't handle the pain lmaoaoa

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

lmaoaoaoo

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

bahahhaha "onion" jfasdjf I have to remember this for a fluffy oneshot

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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bullshit-bulltrue · 1 year ago

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☆ hawk talk 8/16/23 ☆

i was waiting at the front of the school with the rest of the entire school for them to open the doors

and what happened?

all the girls were screaming because of a fucking cicada.

my ears have hurt less from listening to death rock at max volume.

I. WAS. NOT. PREPARED. FOR 40 GIRLS SCREAMING THEIR LUNGS OUT.

oh and uh it was funny bc at one point delgado started jumping up and down to catch the cicada lol

oh and speaking of him, when the staff let us in the school building we had to still wait in the quad(i think that's what we call it) for an other 20 minutes and it turns out i was sorta close to him and his friends while waiting and we made eye contact and he waved at me <3

and his friends kinda just like,, looked at me and i'm like uh hi?

LIKE TF

yeah uh

delgado is really cool but i don't think his friends are too fond of me *awkwardly zones out and questions life bc i haven't been mean and i don't want real chill people to hate me bc that has happened way too many times*

SO ANYWAY-

oh yeah i forgot something

HOW THE HELL DO I ALWAYS END UP WALKING BEHIND DELGADO?? LIKE BITCH RESPECTFULLY MOVE OUT THE WAY I CANNOT SEE OVER YOU YOU'RE LIKE AT LEAST 3 INCHES TALLER THAN ME AND I AM ALREADY BLIND AS IT IS

but like it's better than all the taller people being behind me and me almost getting trampled

so.. yeah ig...

nothing much happened in history

it was boring

but my desk buddy was acting pretty cool

i still don't like her but i don't necessarily hate her rn

um math was the same ??

oh we learned a way easier way to solve a particular kind of equation!!!!

IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT!

OH AND THEN WE HAD ENGLISH!!

AND OMG SO THE TEACHER HAD BEEN PRONOUNCING BASEBALL GUY'S NAME WRONG FOR A WEEK AND A HALF OMFG

AND LIKE I KNEW SHE WAS PRONOUNCING IT WRONG BC THERE WAS NO WAY HIS NAME SOUNDED THAT STUPID

Y'ALL I CAN'T-

AND THEN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED HAPPENED:

Mrs. k: *road call* *says baseball guy's name*

baseball guy: here

mrs. k: i'm not pronouncing that right, am i?

baseball guy: nope.

mrs. k: *waits for him to pronounce it right* ... *guesses and actually gets it right*

baseball guy: *still don't fucking say anything*

(he's jut like this when it comes to the english teacher so the whole not talking thing isn't like strange behavior or anything)

oh and delgado's short bestie had to do testing still so he had to go to another classroom

and like

we have a new student. she sat at our table. so uh,, yeah

it was like kinda awkward cus any time i tried engaging in conversation with her she didn't answer me and i was like okay you're probably not a bitch and ur just shy that's fine but like i wanted to scream

BASEBALL GUY IS QUIET TOO BUT AT LEAST HE SPEAKS WHEN SPOKEN TO GODDAMN

so it was awkward just having someone literally just watch me and my friend speak for a while but then i was like fuck you and completely tuned her out

AND WAS NO ONE GONNA TELL ME HOW PAINSTAKINGLY AWKWARD IT IS FOR YOU AND SOMEONE ELSE TO GRAB THE SAME SHEET OF PAPER MULTIPLE TIMES BC LIKE ALL THE PAPERS WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESK AND ME AND BASEBALL GUY KEPT REACHING FOR THE SAME PAPER LIKE FIVE FUCKING TIMES AND AT ONE POINT I WAS LIKE NAW BESTIE I'M JUST PUTTING MY HAND DOWN AND I JUST WAITED FOE HIM TO GIVE ME THE PAPERS BC HOLY SHIT I WANTED TO SHRIVEL UP AND DIE (let it die, let it die, let it shrivel up and die! was written about me actually)

oh and like we used this one program to measure our lexile and like i was the only student who's never used it before

so i'm like hha idk what to do <3

and mrs. k explained it and basically you read and get quizzed and that's it and like i didn't know where to find my test score so like i wrote down the wrong answer on my log 😭😭

AND THE NUMBER FOR LIKE A CERTAIN PART OF THE THINGY WAS 8 PLUS 20 BONUS POINTS

SO I WROTE THAT DOWN

AND THEN DELGADO SAW AND HE'S LIKE [INSERT DEAD NAME) THAT AIN'T RIGHT 💀 SMTH AIN'T ADDIN UP

so then i was like WHERE TF DO I LOOK FOR MY SCORE THEN

and yeah when i gave him my chromebook to show me where tf to look i just had to scroll down 😭😭

and then he was like "oh you got a hundred, good job!" and then i mentally started doing a happy dance <3

and then we like did our english journal thing to where we had to glue shit and put tabs in our notebook and stuff and it was actually fun !!

and then we had to number a bunch of pages and i treated it like a race in my head bc i'm like that and even tho nobody technically knew i was racing, i WON, bitches

so then i decided to bother delgado at lunch again 🙃

well idk if i bothered him per se, or his friends 💀

so like my mom has been packing me dragon fruit everyday for lunch and i got burned out this week so i gave it to delgado's friend Alex

and he's like "why you keep giving me this 😃" and he's like naw i still want it but like why

and i'm like "because i'm fucking nice 🙂"

nah i just said that i was burned out and shit

so yeah

and brO-

DELGADO HAS THE BEST CURSED IMAGE COLLECTION I HAVE EVER SEEN LIKE I SERIOUSLY NEED TO UP MY GAME Y'ALL

I SWEAR I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY POZOLE THREE TIMES

oh and like i also gave delgado the tortillas my mom packed me bc i wasn't that hungry and i did not think that him eating the school good was a good idea bc it's on a prison level of shitty ngl

so then this bitch takes the tortillas, and him and alex start slapping each other in the face with them 😭😭

ALEX THROWS THE TORTILLA ACROSS THE FUCKING MESS HALL DUDES

AND THEN DELGADO TAKES THE 3RD TORTILLA AND CRUMPLES IT UP AND WRAPS IT INTO A BALL IN THE TINFOIL AND THROWS IT AT SOMEONE'S HEAD

THIS BITCH IS A MENACE

oh and yo i found out that Alex is of puerto rican descent and i'm like so glad that the group i hang out with is all latino

except lanie, she's the token gringa, but that's alright, it's not her fault <3

so then from the mess hall, me and delgado are headed the same way bc our lockers are sorta close to one another

and THIS BITCH

so i put my stuff back in my locker, right?

well now i'm having to exit the hallway for our grade and it's loud as fuck and then all a sudden i hear delgado yelling my name and he's running up to me and is like "HEY! WE NEED OUR CHROMEBOOKS!"

wait let's format it like this:

okay from the top:

d: *running up to me and yelling bc it's loud asf* HEY! [INSERT LEGAL NAME] WE NEED OUR CHROMEBOOKS!!!"

m: WHAT?? (m stands for Me) AGAIN???

d: YEAH

*runs to my locker to grab it*

random ass teacher: hey! go around!

(we have a system where you enter the hallway one way, and if you need to go back, you have to exit and start all over. it sucks ass. i hate it)

m: *running to catch up with d after getting my chromebook bc we have PE in the same period*

my gym coach: oh no, only the boys need it bc they didn't do the form yet

m: *ready to lay on the gym floor and cry* oh, okay! *acts happy bc i ain't bout to be a weak bitch infront of her*

m: *runs like my life depends on it to my locker to put my chromebook back and runs back to the gym* (THE GYM AND MY GRADE HALLWAY ARE NOT CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, AT ALL Y'ALL)

(LITERALLY RUNNING TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SCHOOL)

I WAS ALMOST LATE BUT I BARELY MADE IT BEFORE THE TARDY BELL RANG AND I SWEAR I DID A FUCKING MILE SINCE I RAN BACK AND FORTH LIKE 4 TIMES SO ME THINKS THAT COUNTS FOR ENOUGH PE

and then we had to do like fitness testing and we did:

push-ups, sit ups, crunches, shuttle runs, a lap around the volleyball court, and then basketball

AND WE DO THE MILE ON FRIDAY, IF IT DOESN'T RAIN!!!!!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THAT !!!!

^^ this is genuine, y'all. i love running so much!! yk, except for when it's back and forth across the entire school trying not to be late

AND LIKE I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED AT DELGADO BC DEEP DOWN I KNEW I DIDN'T NEED MY CHROMEBOOK BC WE DID THAT SHIT YESTERDAY

but then i was like why am i mad at him? it's not like he knew or anything so i didn't yell at him or anything lol

and then at the end of school when i passed him in the hallway, we said our goodbyes and yeah since i have first lunch tomorrow –technically today but whatever– we don't have the same lunch schedule, but i'll probably eat lunch with him on Friday, so that's cool!

oh and also, since i hate broadcast with a burning passion, my mom is going to go raging bitch mode in my school until i get an elective in my grade hallway that i want <3

and i want an elective in my grade hallway so i have 3rd lunch so that i don't ever have to eat lunch alone bc i look like a sad girl with no friends when i have 1st lunch and my anxiety peaks so yeah

I HOPE YOU LIKED TODAY <3

well technically yesterday but whatever fuck off

it's now 3:30am and i need to sleep

i woke up at 1am for no reason so??

yeah lol

night <3

#☆ hawk talk #i did NOT mean for this is published so late but i fell asleep and i woke up at like 1am so i was like LET'S WRITE IM MY DIARY

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crow-in-a-teapot · 4 years ago

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tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

...

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

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bioodorange · 4 years ago

Note

hey bitch this is very important

rate every pasta based on how fuckable they are, and i need r e a s o n s.

I've been thinking about this ever since i first joined the fandom

here ya gO

Jeff The Killer....2/10

this bitch has like no fuckin expierence but he thinks hes all that

*pokes your thigh with three fingers* hows that feel baby gorl ?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

And he has a dumb look on his face like yeah I know I’m amazing

Lowkey would start crying about his mommy issues

or his dead brother

LIke serisously dude right n o w

Uh I dont think he smells very nice so up close and personal nO thanks

He gets 2 points because its fun to play tic tac toe on his skin

also hes got a shriveled raisin pp- thats pretty funny

Ben Drowned.....no

This bitch a child and a ghost sweetie

idfc if hes mentally like 40

just n o

would play videogames with though

Masky.....7/10

so first off, dad bod, mad respect

This mans has definetely done stuff before so he knows what hes doing

I feel like hes good at it but he’s awkward ya know but in a sweet way

And he’d definetely make a few dumb ass jokes

But that makes it better (in my opinion)

Ima have to take away points because he definetely could use a shower

and a s h a v e

Bitch thinks he’s wolverine with those sideburns-

Hoodie....6/10

ok so he’s definetely really good at it

but theres some take away factors

I feel like he gets jealous easily

like a child

so like nO

Also im prreeeeety sure he’d try gun play or some shit-

yeah nO thanks buddy

also he wears black face 80% of the time like wtf-

but uh points for skill, being pretty and knowing what a shower is

EJ.....4/10

you gonna die

sleeping with this man can not be good-

he’s either gonna do the “uR my mate uwu” thing, shish kabob you with his pp, or like abandon you for fear of attachment

Uh his tounges be pretty nice, kinda cool

Acidic spit tho? no thanks

but points for big hands and knowing how to shower

and shaving

imagine how whack he’d look with facial hair-

can he even grow facial hair?-

Lj.....-18/10

you a dead bitch

and a C H I L D

the only thing coming-

is the organs spilling out of your chest cavity

plus this mfer kinda looks like a bird

and that N O S E

just n o

he doesn’t get any points cause this bitch is c r e e p y

Toby.....5/10

he don’t got expierence

but he tries and like this boy just needs a hug

He’d definetely be sweet unless he’s having an emotional fit

would try his best not to hurt you tho

taking away points cause he needs to e a t more for his own health

and he showers but doesn’t wash his clothes

unrelated but like imagine how fluffy his hair is

I wanna braid it

X-Virus....7/10

Cody is good but awkard

But once again in a cute/funny way

this man showers AND washes his clothes

he’s got some expierence and skill

B U T no shame

like s i r take it to a room not like the fuckin kitchen counter

also he’d like talk about it alot afterward infront of a shit ton of people

and baby n o

he also probably has fluffy hair

Slenderman...???

hentai tentacles

Jane...8/10

ok this isn’t biased I SWEAR-

But you can NOT tell me she ain’t good at this shit

She’s well kept, confident AND the sweetest thing

Would definetely go a bit out of your comfort zone to make things that much better

She can top ot bottom so best of both worlds

I just love her oKay

and she knows where the clit is unlike everyone else on the list-

Clockwork....9/10

ok so she k i n d a knows where ‘it’ is

but she’s skilled enough to not need it

next level sHIT man

she has some points off cause she has a bad haircut but its clean!

I can’t see her being into real weird shit or not being good at it

is definetely picky about it tho like when

also she def has a thing for thighs

I dunno why but I see it

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radramblog · 4 years ago

Text

a perfectly normal tierlist

Well I’m at that point where it’s late, I’m tired, and im out of ideas. That’s right motherfuckers its time for a tierlist. I dunno which to do though, so let’s just hit the random button aaaand

…wait, there is no random button. Ok, sure, I’ll just close the old eyes and pick the first one I see that I can actually have an opinion on. No takesies backsies, unless it’s like american sports or something. aaand here we go.

…aww fuck.

Mistakes are being made.

Shit tier

ABO: Aside from the fact that it’s based on a flawed study that has been solidly discredited no matter how many right-wing grifters try to sell alpha chad pills, this shit is 100% horny on main all the time and not in a way I find particularly appealing. I can’t say I’ve intentionally read anything tagged with this shit, because seeing it on a taglist actively reviles me.

Soulmate AU: Most of the AU stuff is lumped together elsewhere, but this one has a special place in the colder, more shrivelled bits of my heart. I’ve yet to see this used anywhere other than to justify someone’s OTP in universe and skipping all the, yknow, interesting stuff. Like there’s enough of it out there that I’m sure someone has made an actually good fic out of this. But not for me.

Bang or Die: Save it for the hentai, you horny fucks.

Sex Pollen: I don’t know what this is, but I don’t like the sound of that.

Miscommunication: Do you want to read a 100000 word fanfic based around the absolute worst trope in romantic “comedy”? I sure as fuck don’t!

Bad tier

Amnesia fic: Jace Beleren is the only character who gets away with this shit, and even then I’m getting pretty sick of it. If I’m interested in reading about a character, I’d rather read about them, not the post-death-of-personality husk that inevitably leads to bad angst.

Arranged Marriage: Another shitty romance trope to force your leads together. Yawn.

Baby fic: When I was younger I ended up seeing Just Go With It in cinemas for stupid reasons and it’s just this and it wasn’t good

Sharing a bed: I’m not sure what this refers to, unless it’s like, being forced to share a bed because shenanigans, hilarity ensues, which doesn’t sound like the best time.

Pregnancy fic: This is not my kink.

Love Triangle: I’ve seen this play out in real life and it’s ugly, and those examples were relatively low-key. Maybe once I read one that turns into a polyamorous throuple I’ll change my mind.

Mutual Pining/Unrequieted Love: Part of the problem with a lot of the media that gets romantic fanfiction is that they never actually bite the bullet with the romance, just tease that shit for years and years. I’m not sure why you’d want more of that for your wish-fulfillment.

Meh tier

Fix-it-Fic: Undoubtedly whoever is writing these have a different definition of “fixed” than I do. My main issue with these, however, is that a lot of them are for things with perfectly fine endings that just didn’t have the ship they wanted or were not a happily ever after. With that in mind, some of them are pretty golden (TLCstuck comes to mind).

Angst/Hurt and Comfort: I graduated from angsty teenager to depressed adult a long time ago.

Bodyswap: Your Name is overrated. (editor’s note, Raderph has never seen Your Name.)

Crackfic: The most hit or miss thing on this entire list. Good crackfics can be absurdist brilliance, bad ones are late 00’s randumb but somehow worse. With that in mind, crack ships can be a lot of fun.

All these generic-ass AUs: Man I gotta probe someone’s mind who’s into this stuff, because it’s never appealed to me. If I’m looking at an AU, I’d much rather it be characters in an actually interesting scenario or world rather than just Starbucks or Hogwarts with the serial numbers filed off. Throw ‘em in Mad Max or something, not Jane Austen. You get the idea.

Huddle for Warmth: As a Perth bloke who’s never experienced snow this is completely unrelatable to me.

Enemies/Friends to Lovers: Look I’m a refined homestuck fan we perfected this shit 10 years ago.

Dark Fic: Another hit or miss one, but unfortunately the majority of them are pizza cutters. All edge, no point.

First Kiss: Romantic awkwardness can be cute, but my cringe threshold is often too low for the high school shenanigans this tends to entail. With that said, I’m writing about fanfiction tropes on my tumblr blog, so maybe the cringe was inside me all along.

Time Loop: This is in meh because I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever stumbled across it in fanfiction but also I can’t imagine it’s done well that often.

Ok tier

Gen fic: …doesn’t this just mean a fanfic that isn’t a crossover or a shipping fic? That this is separate here implies that it’s notable when a fic isn’t one of those things, which…. is depressingly fair.

Crossover: Lotta bad ones out there. Lotta good ones. If it’s a crossover with two things I really like I’m probably gonna enjoy it, and some- particularly those where it’s basically just an AU with characters from one universe slotted into another- work nicely imo.

Humor: why is this a tag yes I like it when things are funny a lot of people aren’t going to be funny though

Major Character Death: Fuck me up. I wanna cry motherfucker.

Slow Burn: I can’t even justify liking this to be honest. I think it’s a lot like how slice of life anime go, where its just characters you like doing things and slowly developing characterwise and relationshipwise. Which if you like it you like it.

Fluff: Fuck me up. I wanna cry motherfucker. (but of joy)

In vino veritas: This is a pretty dumb trope but I can’t help but enjoy it. Sloppy drunken makeouts into morning after oh god what have I done is extremely unfun in real life but pretty funny when it happens to someone else.

Missing scenes: But what if I want to see what happens when Barry gets his pokemon’s teeth kicked in by Jupiter, huh? This is just wish fulfillment for trivia/minutiae nerds, which unfortunately I am one of.

Fake relationship: Another dumb trope that I cannot defend. It’s a cute dynamic that often really works. don’t judge meeeeee

Good tier:

Established Relationship: If I want to read about my ship, I want to read about them being in a relationship, which means that if it was already established and we could skip all the BS that’d be great……… is this so hard

Unhappy ending: Fuck me u-okay not doing that a third time. Sometimes you’re sad and you want somewhere to put that sad. With that in mind, the meta-unhappy ending, AKA a great fic that hasn’t been updated in years (I could name a few…dozen) is the worst fanfiction trope and I want it to go away.

Canon Divergence: I find “What if” a lot more interesting that fix-it stuff because the former has variety. It’s really interesting to see events from a story divert and follow different beats, so long as those beats make sense to the overall context.

God tier:

Porn without plot: Presented without comment.

#ramble #writing #if anyone from writecord sees this i am getting banned instantly #or at least roasted

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crow-shoes · 5 years ago

Text

PANOPTICON LIVEBLOG

ok im gonna do this because i KNOW i’m going to have some EMOTIONS by the end of it.

sees the summary: oh god oh fuck

sees the cast list: OH GOD OH FUCK

BERT!! (i’m latching onto things to prevent my fear from getting the better of me)

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this

OH GOD THEY’RE ALREADY IN THE TUNNELS

you cannot just bring Tim up like that Peter you shitty pile of fog and whistles

‘that’s leitner too!’ peter is a bastard but that was very funny

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

what the shit is that

iS THAT THE CHANGELING

OH GOD NO NONOSNSOSNONNOOO NO CHANGELING NO NO NO FUCK N O

HE LET IT OUT??? WHY DID HE IT WANTS TO KILL JON OH SHIT FUCK

it’s going tO HUNT DOWN JON

PETER LUKAS DIE CHALLENGE

you could still go help them.... i’m going to stab him.

‘gone HOW? vanished HOW?’ ‘PRISON???” WHAT? oh. no. nononononono NO

THEY’RE GOING TO SAVE HIM. THANK GOD. OKAY.

so you CAN see everything from the Panopticon NIcE

ohhh i don’t like this. i don’t like this at all.

i suppose i am...MARTIN

the CURRENT OCCUPANT????

JONAH MAGNUS

‘where are his eyes??’

oh FUCK IT’S ELIAS O HGSOEHF

shit.

no don’t play the TAPE what are you DOING

oh no. we’re going to listen to Gertrude die aren’t we-

YEP

‘used to be able to torch a building in half the time’ i. i love gertrude. i love her please let her come back and burn down the institude i don’t care if she’s dead

SHE KNEW.

jonah. fucking. magnus.

he’s been bodyhopping from the panopticon

‘gertrude’s grand retirement’ can we have a bonus episode where we just get the archive staff throwing her a retirement party please

‘EITHER SHOOT ME OR-”

she thought it would hurt more dear god

what’s wrong with daisy

OH NO. NO NO NO .N OO

okay Elias isn’t meant to be there that’s-

‘WHAT HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE,’ MARTIN SAYING WHAT WE’RE ALL FEELING

the extinction’s never been his top priority? christ. i hate him.

is martin serionsly considering-

HE WAS LYING. FUCKING

‘do you really care about any of them?’ I HATE YOU MORE THAN PETER. IT’S OFFICIAL. IF MARTIN DOESN’T KILL YOU I WILL-

oh don’t pull this ‘we’re the same’ shit i hate it when they do that

"no.” MARTIN. FUCK YEAH MARTIN I LOVE YOU PLEASE DITCH THESE SHRIVELED OLD BASTARDS AND FIND YOUR FRIENDS

JON GETS TO SAY FUCK AGAIN

i forgot how muCH I HATE THE CHANGELING IT MAKES MY SPINE FEEL WRONG

FUCKING JESUS WHY ARE THE HUNTERS HERE THEY HAVE THE WORST TIMING

daisy and basira ultimate battle couple don’t die PLEASE

‘didn’t think it would end like this- well, actually i did,” DAISY.

DAISY NO. DO NOT DO THAT. NO FULL HUNTER

NO.

shit.

she did it.

MAG 158: Everyone Gets To Swear Including Me.

i’m having so many feelings about Martin this is going to have to be a Whole Post by itself.

okay.

i love him. he’s my favourite i love him and i really really hope he doesn’t die.

He’s been pulling the longest con!!! I love him!!!!!!!!

‘we didn’t even like each other... and then Jon came back and suddenly I had a reason,” oh my GOD I’M GOING TO CRY

‘you had me for a while... but then you tried to make me a hero. look at me, I’m not exactly a chosen one, but by then I was in too deep, so I played along. And here we are.”

fucking. i love Martin.

PETER THROWING A GODDAMN TEMPER TANTRUM IM- LIKE A CHEAP WHISTLE. HE PLAYED YOU LIKE A CHEAP WHISTLE. HE PLAYED YOU LIKE A CHEAP-

LONELY STATIC I DON’T LIKE THAT

he’s lauGHING I REALLY DON’T LIKE THAT UGGHSHSHSHSJKAJSHZjHSJHS MY STOMACH FEELS WEIRD I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL. WHERE THE FUCK IS MARTIN

WHERE THE FUCK IS MARTIN

WHERE IS MARTIN LUKAS I’M GONNA KILL YOU

I”M GOING TO MANIFEST IN THIS WORLD AND KILL HIM

time is very-

CAST HIM INTO THE LONELY???? I AM GOING TO

how do i bring him BACK??? fuck. shit. i’m going to have to write a hadestown AU now

if ANYONE CAN DO IT JON CAN HE MADE IT OUT OF THE BURIED RIGHT-

but that was MARTIN HELPING HIM

OH MY GOD PARALLELS HE’S GOING TO SAVE- Oh my god

that’S IT??? IT’ CANT BE OVER

this SHOW IS TURNING INTO A FUCKEN HADESTOWN AU MARTIN'S LOVE SAVED JON FROM THE BURIED AND NOW JON'S LOVE IS GOING TO HAVE TO SAVE MARTIN FROM THE LONELY OR THEY'LL BE LOST IN THERE FOREVER OH GOD

and now i’m gonig to die of suspense before the next episode.

shit.

#i'm having feelings.#tma #tma liveblog #tma spoilers #the magnus archives

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hematomes · 3 years ago

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u throw anything at me and ill shrivel up and die regardless of what was thrown /lh

i have the strongest desire to build lumine (geo) but i. cannot bc im in the middle of kaeya and rosaria’s builds for quick swap melt fjfj

NO EXACTLY SHES JUSY EMPTY AND BLAND LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS SHE SO IMPORTANT WHILE ALSO GIVIBG ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

ahdjfjfjfjfjj i don’t like hurting. i like hurting kaeya /lh sorry kaeya but. here we can go get u a nice drink afterwards kay

HELP THATS VALID and yes he would treat u like garbage but somehow i get the feeling that that’s only drawing u in more ajsjdj i do not believe ive rlly met choso yet but. ill be on the lookout for a pathetic wet dog of a man <3

i. mechamaru deserves so much. LET HIM BE OKAY DAMMIT and pls yes he should go on a date w miwa <3

watching mai and maki simultaneously cleared my skin and damned me to hell. the kin spiral was so intense that i don’t even wanna say i kin them bc if i open that can of worms it’ll never get shut,, AND YEAH. WHEN MAKI LEFT. I WAS LIKE. BYE IM FALLIN APART IM DISINTEGRATING LIKE PAPER IN THE RAIN

women’s wrongs <3 i. need more mei and utahime content. jjk manga pls feed my addiction

WAIT GEGE HATES HIM? THATS SO FUNNY AJEJDDJ and nanami is. my favorite. my. pets his head gently i don’t like overtime either buddy /lh AND WHAT. HIS VA IS DAINS JP VA?? IM GONNA LOSE IT AJDJFJFJ I DONT EVEN CARE ABT VA STUFF bc i’m not like you i don’t have a voice ki— BUT ?? YELLS THATS SO GOOD

ok actually that's valid

FELT... the urge to build a character but ur already busy building 67 others like come on hyv... more resin

HELPPP kaeya hiding in a little corner praying u won't find him only for you to drag him away and make him experience the horrors of existence

honestly yea.... fictional man who would treat me like an old rag? sign me up. but it's also bc of the unrealistic voice in my head telling me i could be their special little thing and get special little treatment. there's smth about murderous ppl being soft w their s/o that drives me completely insane

U MET CHOSO ACTUALLY he's the 3rd brother with the cursed womb at the very end of the anime. oldest brother actually. he's playing some board game w mahito and geto while yuuji and nobara kill his brothers LMFAO

dw we don't have to talk abt kinning.... it's fine ur safe........

nah fr u can't have women with such potential and then no impact like..!!!!! arg. utahime <3 some ppl ship her with gojo and honestly it's so funny to me like. agreed. but also w mei bc women

HE DOES LMAO HE'S ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED THAT THE FANDOM LOVES GOJO SO MUCH,,, tbh id start a family w nanami. it would be us and a cat, maybe also a dog . please.

YEAH IT'S DAIN... <333 ZBSJAJ leave my voice kink alone it's . i. voices are important ok

#♡.— hara

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mymagnificentself · 6 years ago

Text

boy s r dumb.??

especially theres this guy in my class and like??? im just????? i really cant read him, he usually seems nice but then hes Pretty weird in texts and chats? also he seems to be.. uncomfortable? with me being gay or like talking about it?

but i mean whatever, people's compulsory heterosexuality is none of my business or any of my problems, but i love to meddle and be involved in things and apparently he can't stand to be left out of something

but yeah he sometimes says (and by that i mean writes) stuff that's like... just plain dumb really and maybe borderline offensive (is he trying to be funny?? i don't know) and then says just kidding afterwards

okay admittedly one fault on my part is that i do history l historically tend to come on too strong (whether on purpose or not) to straight guys and makes sense that that sort of would make them uncomfortable.. and don't even get me started on me trying to make friends with them bc apparently i am failing Hard bc if there is the opportunity i Will make gay jokes and innuendos bc its aLL i HaVE, and maybe that is just off putting to a lot of straight cis guys.

that seem to be basically all around me oH my GOD

i need to hang with more gay people.. i really do or im literally gonna shrivel up and die from it and their constant low key invalidation like i almost cried on the bus home from work thinking about how im am abomination and who could ever love me, like that shits not Healthy for anyone (not that anything happened or anyone said anything, just the Constant being around Blatantly straight (not to stereotype but you know what i mean) people and just very obviously _not even remotely fitting in there_ (and yes i know i am to the greatest part contributing to it by what i do but Hey ) is Taxing.

and actually maybe that's the best problem that is making me so upset and maybe even to do with the constant anxiety im starting to develop, that i don't feel like i Fit iN like everyone else.

because im Different, and im out and proud about it, here queer and not going to change, all that, but it does clearly divide me from the rest of the, the very binary system committed, people around me...

okay Alright and now he just personally messaged me to say that its all just in good fun and he doesn't want me to feel like he's coming for me (no pun intended or well, pun discovered in translation and see what i wrote before about innuendos)

bc there's been some.. lets say banter in the class chat😂😂

but yeah, there have been guys before that thought i was coming into them (not literally of course.. and yeah maybe i was temporary in love with this one guy and i have no idea if he noticed but tbh.. im not subtle i don't know how to be, im in this super weird stage where i don't know how to flirt with guys but i know even less how to just be casual friends with them (and lets be honest im really desperate) which probably makes me come off too strong again and in the end i sick to being friends with girls bc i can Do that very well and they're (mostly) kind, considerate and Smart/willing to put in effort and work, the only problem is i am SiCK of being around GiRLs and i am Dying for any kind of affection from a guy

... so that leads to me... lets a say Chatting to guys who are officially in straight relationships.. god im a mess.. its not my fault tho so shush)

and yeaaah dude is now crossing the border to Offensive but bitch, two can play at that game and i can assure you i can throw shade further than your fragile ass ego sooo💁🏻

its all in good fun tho right, just some banter between lads

maybe that is in fact how The Lads express affection

another thing i noticed, boys are daft and insensitive as FUCK

like hooooboy don't even get me started but its enough to make you question if you really want to stay around them

and then some stupid gorgeous idiot walks by and you just like die and then there's that

and yeah back to me on the bus earlier i also went shopping for stuff and maybe there were too many people around or something as well, i definitely have like severe boundary issues and maybe it goes so far that i can't properly seal myself off from everyone around me after a long day of work and that it just messes with me..

also that feel when you Really need The Right music but you have no idea what it is so you best whatever you have or skip everything and just SuFFer?? been having that a lot lately

#mags speaks #its so late #holy #fucking shit when did that happen #also ive been up since four bc i couldn't sleep so fuck me i guess

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nickmpreg · 2 years ago

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the batman: 10/10 i don’t have to add anything else

there will be blood: 3/10 this isn’t because it’s like a . bad movie or anything i just literally didn’t understand it . like i had to look up what the purpose of this movie was and maybe im just stupid but i still don’t get it . i really honest to god don’t care about religion or capitalism or oil rigs . only gets those 3 points bc the acting was great from everyone

the girl next door: 2/10 this one IS because it’s a bad movie . i was under the impression it was gonna be just about a girl who did a porno but i didn’t expect the whole movie to be about porn and maybe that’s a fault on my end but i made the choice to watch this movie with my younger friends because i didn’t know there’d be actual on screen sex and now i feel bad because i feel as if ive exposed younger people to porn . only gets points for eli and klitz and also the porn stars at the end they were funny

prisoners: 10/10 this movie made me want to shrivel up and just die . absolutely amazing but i’ll probably never watch it again because it makes me want to sob and throw up

swiss army man: 9/10 a fantastic movie !! love the story that blossoms between hank and manny but it gets one point off bc i couldn’t take it serious with all the farting am sorry

little miss sunshine: 10/10 my #1 movie ever it’s so relatable and doesn’t hold back from showing what it’s like for a family who can’t stand each other to be forced to be around one another . i love olive and dwayne’s relationship so much and they are each other’s biggest fans recommend to everyone

the extra man: 1/10 transphobic stupid bullshit with like no story at all and i hate how they ended it with louis being ‘confused’ i hate it

okja: 10/10 i knew it was gonna be good when i found out it was directed by the same guy who directed parasite but wow it was so good …… heart wrenching and makes me feel bad for eating meat

being flynn: 5/10 ( ? ) i watched this last night and it was fine i guess ? i have no strong feelings on it but he did cocaine . you go king

ruby sparks: 7/10 zoe was amazing in this movie and so was paul !! love that they have actual real life chemistry so all their lovey dovey scenes feel so genuine . 3 points off because i absolutely can’t stand calvin

im going to use this post as a way to rank every movie with paul dano in it that i have watched , will reblog with the ones ive already seen soon

#paul dano ranking #srb

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a-deluded-banana · 5 years ago

Text

a shot in the dark

She had no place to be and no promises to keep. It was one of those lazy, Kool-Aid-sipping, porch-swinging August afternoons, the ones that feel as if time is just ambling along or maybe pausing for a nice long nap. There had been so many of those afternoons that summer. The freedom would be pleasant, she thought, if only there were something to do with it. There hadn’t been a speck of excitement in the town of Douglasville since Mr. Hobbes’ cow disappeared three months ago. Curious and adventure-hungry, she was a loaded spring.

“Maisie, what did I tell you? You’ll break your neck. And don’t let your skirt fall down like that.” Her mother’s voice cut into her thoughts. Reluctantly she swung down from the porch railing where she had been hanging by her knees and fixed her mother with a glare from across the yard.

But her sulkiness dissipated at the sound of familiar footsteps. “Maisie, Maisie, c’mon!” It was Thomas, one of the neighborhood kids, a red-headed, freckle-faced wisp of a boy. He was Maisie’s favorite—although she’d never admit it—because he had a rebellious streak and never missed an opportunity to stir up mischief at school. Everyone knew him by the way he walked, a distinct long-short rhythm, the mark of anyone crippled by polio. The other kids teased him for it. He was in the sixth grade, a year older than Maisie, but in the summer that didn’t matter.

“What?”

“I gotta show you somethin’. C’mon!” In his eyes danced the excitement Maisie had been waiting for.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.” His lanky, sunburnt arm beckoned her to follow.

With a cautionary glance over her shoulder at her mother, who was hanging up a pair of underwear and humming busily to herself, Maisie fell into step beside the boy, the dirt road’s dusty exhales rising in their wake. When they had reached the corner before Thomas's house, he slackened his pace, a finger to his lips. Staying close to the side of the house, he led Maisie into the backyard.

They stood before Thomas's father’s toolshed. Rusty hinges creaked twice as the door opened and quickly closed again. Once they were out of sight, Thomas's eyes changed. “You gotta swear not to tell anyone, okay?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause if my dad finds out, I’m dead meat. Got it?”

Maisie nodded, her interest piqued.

“Pinky promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in--”

“Come over here then, and remember, be quiet.” The shifting of some crates, a box of white paint cans, and the broken frame of a washboard revealed as wooden chest, which Thomas opened.

Maisie had never seen a gun before—not in real life, at least. It lay on a neatly folded bed of blue velvet and looked like it would hurt her if she made it angry.

“I found the key under my dad’s bed.”

“Does it work?”

“Yep, she’s all loaded up and everythin’.” He lifted the gun out of its holding place as if it were a sleeping princess, and cradled it in his arms. “A big one, too.”

She let him swoon over it until curiosity got the better of her. “Can I hold it?”

“If you’re careful. Don’t drop it.” He held out the weapon, albeit reluctantly. “Well c’mon. It’s not gonna jump out and bite you.”

She hadn’t expected it to feel so heavy in her hands. Nor had she expected the thrill that travelled up her spine or the peculiar sense of boldness. Still, she tried not to let Thomas see her shaking hands.

“You’re holdin’ it like a girl,” he laughed.

“Well how do you know the right way to hold it?”

“Every guy knows how to hold a gun,” he replied, puffing out his chest slightly.

“Show me, then.”

He guided her fingers around the weapon. “You wrap your right hand over your left, and your pointer finger—no, not that one, your pointer—goes along here like this. And when you wanna shoot, you put it here.”

Her finger leapt off the trigger as soon as his guiding hands were gone. “You don’t plan to use it, do you?” She gingerly returned it.

“Naw, I wouldn’t actually use it. It could come in handy, though.”

But when she looked up at him to ask why, all she saw was the angry black eye of the thing, hovering inches from hers. “Put that down!” She backed up, skittish suddenly, nearly upsetting a small tower of boxes.

“Gee, I was only joking.” But Thomas pointed it at the window instead, cocked his head, and winked down the length of the gun, a John Wayne drawl coming from his licked lips. “Let’s go on an adventure.”

“What kind of adventure?”

“Remember that old crank Mr. Grimm?”

Of course she did. Everybody knew Mr. Grimm. The infamous town drunk lived at the outer edge of the village, in a droopy-eyed house that stood directly next to the dump; rumor had it the old man had been born and raised right in that very dump, and Maisie suspected he’d die there too.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Well, he’s always sayin’ things about my leg on my way to school. I’m ‘bout to show him what I’m made of.”

Not a soul in Douglasville knew of an anger quite as bitter or as deep-rooted as Mr. Grimm's. Every morning at sunup, already scowling, he would hobble down the street, making sure to tromp on someone’s flower bed on the way, and take his usual place on the stoop of the corner post office, where he sat and commented on ladies’ dresses and grumbled about the state of politics and generally cursed everything under the sun—but his favorite pastime of all was tormenting schoolchildren. Especially Thomas, with his leg brace and funny walk.

“...What do you mean?”

“Oh, just tease ‘im a little, you know how he gets all worked up over things.” He had slipped the gun down his pant leg and now stood with a hand on the doorknob. “You coming?”

“You’re not… bringing that along, are you?”

“Only in case of an emergency. And to scare ‘im.” He shrugged as if people went out every day with guns hidden under their pants. “Aw c’mon, it’ll be funny!”

Maisie picked at a scab on her elbow. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t be such a sissy.”

He might as well have slapped her square in the face; there was nothing Maisie hated more than being called a sissy. “Okay,” she said, but only to nurse her wounded pride, and because she was left with no other option. And besides, Thomas had a point; it would be pretty funny. And so the adventure was on.

--------

Crows ruled the dump from atop heaping thrones of discarded things, pecking and perching and ruffling their dust-coated black feathers. To Maisie, as well as most of the kids of Douglasville, the dump was a land of endless possibility. What was tossed out when someone died or moved out could be salvaged and take on a new life for another. So Maisie had come to know her way around the dump like the back of her hand.

Now Thomas was shushing her. “He’ll be gettin’ home right about now.” As if in response, Mr. Grimm came staggering up the sidewalk, sending the two daredevils darting for cover behind the nearest mountain of junk. Mr. Grimm’s door slammed.

Thomas peered over a worn-out tire. “Looks like we can hide under the kitchen window. He won’t be able to see us down there. I say go, we make a run for it, got it?” Maisie got a little thrill and gave him a thumbs-up.

“Go!”

They made it to safety. Crouching in their hideout, Maisie looked above her head at a gnarled mass of vines, shriveled by the summer heat and clinging to the trellis. It whispered as if threatening to tell their secret.

“Go look in the window,” Thomas hissed in her ear, “and tell me what you see.”

“Why can’t you do it?” Maisie whined.

“‘Cause I gotta be on the lookout in case we need to get out of here in a hurry. Go on.” But his leg brace glinted the real reason as the sun beat down on his twisted frame and his eyes full of brewing storm.

Against her better judgement, but out of pity that Thomas couldn’t, Maisie trusted the trellis with her weight as she craned her neck to see over the windowsill. Even from outside, the air in the house felt stagnant and thick. Flies circled over a half-eaten loaf of stale-looking bread on the counter, and there was dust in the kitchen sink. Finally she noticed the man asleep in an armchair, one wrinkly arm dangling by his side as if he’d been dropped there by accident.

When she reported the news, Thomas visibly deflated. “We’ll just wait until he wakes up then.”

Their hiding place was smaller than it had looked from afar, and their clammy skin was pressed together in some places. In their pre-adolescence a shared self-consciousness descended upon them. Maisie busied herself by wrapping bits of dead vine around her finger. She’d never really thought of people in terms of boy or girl; were they really that different anyway? Why did she wear a skirt and not pants to church? What was it exactly that made a boy a boy and a girl a girl? She had extracted some vague clues from scraps of overheard grown-up conversation and a magazine she’d found in her dad’s coat pocket, but these were mismatched pieces of a puzzle she sensed you didn’t ask about anyway.

Above their heads, Mr. Grimm’s radio crackled out something about President Kennedy having made an appearance at a baseball game last Saturday. “My dad says President Kennedy is a blockhead Catholic,” Thomas whispered, wiping a trickle of sweat out of his eyes.

“You think we really will get a man on the moon someday?” Maisie pondered.

“Naw, I don’t think so.”

Maisie thought about it. “I do.”

“My dad says it’s a load of nonsense.”

Silence settled in. Beside Mr. Grimm’s house stood a quite healthy-looking apple tree Maisie hadn’t noticed before. She found a rotten apple and rolled it around with her toe. The fruit was small and green with a light dusting of pale red like a baby’s cheek. She wondered why death had come so early in its lifetime; perhaps a squirrel had accidentally knocked it off its branch. In any case, here it sat in Mr. Grimm’s dirt, decayed and full of worms.

Over time a lurking black shape became visible in Maisie’s peripheral vision like a shadow. As soon as she realized what it was, her heart leapt into her throat and she whisper-shrieked, “Put that thing down! Put it down!” The gun had been so close she had practically felt its breath on her temple—just like in the toolshed, only this time she didn’t know how long it had been there. By instinct, she had shrunk back against the trellis.

“Why do you do that?” she demanded.

“Shh! Stop being so loud.” He was polishing the weapon with the hem of his shirt.

“Why do you point it at me like that?”

“For practice.”

“Practice for what?”

“C’mon, you know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

"I know," Maisie said, "I just... I just hate it bein’ so close.”

“I’m gonna scare ‘im good,” Thomas was saying. “He’ll think he’s under attack, and when ‘e comes over to see what’s goin’ on, we’ll hide. Then, just when he’s startin’ to settle down again, I’ll shoot his hat right off, or somethin’. That’ll scare ‘im good.” Thomas's ginger hair flamed in the sun.

Maisie could hardly blame him for wanting to torment the old man; Mr. Grimm was a good-for-nothing bully, that part she knew—but the boy's eyes had a strange light, she thought.

But a noise in the house left the thought suspended in midair. Both children froze like deer in headlights as Thomas's eyes locked with Maisie’s.

As soon as Maisie could haul both of them up without causing a racket, the children were peeping over the windowsill by the stale bread and still-blabbering radio, the gun poised between their heads. Mr. Grimm stirred in his armchair. A tendril of dead vine crunched under Maisie's foot on the trellis and both children held their breath.

For the first time Maisie wondered what had happened to Mr. Grimm to make him so bitter. Perhaps the man had never been anything except angry in his life. A bony, blue-veined hand clutched drunkenly at a half-empty bottle arm’s length away on the table, knocking it to the floor. He swore at the broken fragments, then fell silent again.

“Well,” Maisie hissed, eager for the gun to be back in its cabinet, “wanna call it a day?”

But Thomas made no reply. A vein in his forehead was pulsing like the pounding of Maisie’s heart.

Maisie’s trembling grip on the trellis slackened with sweat. Through the window on the opposite wall of the house the sun was hanging heavy in the sky, and Maisie longed to be swinging on the porch railing again, without a care in the world. Besides, her mother must be wild with worry by now.

When Thomas looked at her, her stomach felt like it was being squeezed by a fist, and she felt like yelling out in powerlessness. In her confusion the thought came to her that Thomas could pull that very same trigger on her if he pleased, with only Mr. Grimm and the junkyard crows to bear witness. All earlier excitement was as stale as Mr. Grimm’s bread. Thomas's finger twitched. Would he? Could he?

Maisie tried to reassure herself. It was just a game of hide-and-seek—or better yet, they were a pair of secret agents waiting to expose the bad guys and save the day--only Maisie wasn’t sure who the bad guy was.

Then time went from barely moving to racing. With a considerable amount of effort, Mr. Grimm stood up from his chair and turned around. When he saw them, a look of drunken loathing contorted his face. The crows understood; they scattered, cawing their warnings. Maisie closed her eyes. Thomas cocked the gun, and in that moment she knew that whatever he was going to do, she couldn’t stop if she tried.

#story #short story #storytelling #my story #my short story #writer #writers #writing #sixties #60s #gun tw

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kenshiliker · 7 years ago

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mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name: 徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here,

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx. random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii. blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely! 16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls. 51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

#tag #tagged #long post #this was a complete mess but like if u ever needed or wanted to know this much abt me here u are go #i'm like dropping hints i love lie to me #and tim roth #i love lie to me and tim roth #quequeque

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hematomes · 3 years ago

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how dare u insult me /j we’ll have to settle this with a duel /hj

YEAH NO THE THREE STARS ARE V USABLE ASIDE FROM BASE ATTACK?? points at skyrider which has an er stat and had been carrying since pre-sac sword tbh

FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME LIKE. SHE DOES NOT HAVE A PERSONALITY OKAY . she could’ve been so strong and amazing BUT NO. like if i ever read fairy tail fanfic at some point im gonna find one where lucy gets to be an actual person bc jfc i despise her in canon. and i ALSO HATED THAT SHIP BC JUST?? LIKE SHE HAS NOTHING TO ADD BC OF HOW BLAND SHE IS JFC And ur right lisanna is pretty <3

speaking of fairy tail i was thinking of writing my theory ending into existence but in a genshin thing bc. it’s too painful to waste and kaeya might be a good fit for the story line, lore-wise . hmm

HELP AJSJDJD PLS i don’t want sukuna anywhere near me i. i don’t have ur tendencies dear /lh

I LOVED THAT SO MUCH AJSJDJD mechamaru and panda’s fight also i. ugh :( <3 AND YES MIWA VS MAKI WAS SO GOOD? and the . listen the bonds the female characters have. im gonna cry. also maki and mai. FUCK THAT HIT ME WAY TOO HARD. LIKE I JUST. sobs. i cannot articulate like,, that reached into my guts and just twisted,, i. dies

MEI EXISTS AND SUDDENLY IM DYING. UTAHIME EXISTS AND IM SUDDENLY DEAD.

pls ur skrunkly coward man

ah that’s fair the hype around him did make me go. ??? bc like he’s neat but? i?? nanami tho. NANAMI CAN HAVE MY ENTIRE HEART I LOVE HIM DEEPLY

i just have to throw milk at u and you'll shrivel up and die. that's how lactose intolerant people react i think

ZBDJZ I HAVE THE SKYRIDER AND YES... i need to give it to aether bc he would benefit more from er than crit rn. yum

EXACTLYYYY SHE'S JUST... here i guess. and it's infuriating bc she's so important to the story, especially at the beginning + with the whole dark guilds and shit. yet???? she gives us nothing. just an aftertaste of complete void

zbdja hara why do u like hurting so much . /j

PLS SUKUNA IS SO... he's one of the very few ppl who make me go "am i truly ace" . yells he's just so hot and completely insane and would treat me like utter garbage but whatever. THO CHOSO. WOULD BE NICE I THINK. he's actually... mh <33 and he's so pretty. he looks like a pathetic wet dog. would give him shelter on a rainy night. would also give him my entire being

MECHAMARU'S ENTIRE CHARACTER IS...!!!!!! AAAA I WANT TO. GIVE HIM A HEALTHY BODY. he just wants to go on a date with miwa ok yes they should. they need to go on a date. i. please it's the only thing that could cure my depression

ZBDJZ OMG YEA MAKI AND MAI I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF HOW IT'S AFFECT U.... i rewatched the anime a few days ago and i had forgotten abt. how mai was feeling when maki left the clan like... my heart

mei. mei could do anything id be like <333 she's just being silly <33 she could rip someone's arm off and id cheer in the background like go girl!!!! im right behind!!! supporting women's rights but more importantly women's wrongs. same w utahime but with a side of me barking /j

EXACTLY LIKE... ok, he's cool, but please chill... even the author hates him ZBSJ HE KEEPS SAYING IT AND IT'S SO FUNNY gege my beloved . what did u expect. nanami is such a good character and... idk if u know... but his jp voice... is also dainsleif's...... <333 kenjiro tsuda, carrying the entire "tired dad/tortured pathetic guy" aesthetic

#♡.— hara #long post

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its-my-little-dumpster-fire · 5 years ago

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Y’all have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this day. It’s LONG.

I mean....you know this. You know that this chapter does things to me. You know that I sit and reread it for comfort on bad days and for floppy heart feelings on good days. You know that this chapter has revived my cold dead heart to a warm, gooey, rapid beating while simultaneously making it shrivel again because I will never know a moment so pure and sweet. NEVER.

But we have this!

We have a date. that’s a real date, that’s an indisputable date, that’s we can’t convince ourselves that he’s just being friendly or insincere in his flirtations. And for once we have a waitress who’s maintained an air of professionalism. Finally.

And then WE (omg plot twist) suggest staying THE NIGHT! THE WHOLE NIGHT.

A WHOLE NIGHT. IN BENS PRESENCE. AND HIS PANTS. OMG.

Benjamin Thomas “practical” Barnes. That’s his name don’t wear it out. I am dying at the back and forth in the parking lot. We try so hard not to treat Ben differently or act like everyone else, yet here we are, being completely illogical insisting on two rooms and being stubborn about it. It’s funny and Ben is quick to call us out on it. He’s like hey, we’re adults and I’m like “BARELY DUDE. IM BARELY HOLDING IT TOGETHER HERE.”

But it happens anyways and then THE TALK.

The

TALK.

WITH BEN BARNES.

that hey, you’re with me one minute and the next you’re gone and all I could think about is all those tangents you write for us where our doubts and insecurities come out to play and our thoughts devolve. I’m imagining us getting kinda quiet in those moments and retreating into our minds and him just watching the flirting die on our tongues while we convince ourselves it can’t be real. Poor guys been watching this happen again and again and he just wants to know what’s up.

THANK RACHAEL THAT WE ARE STILL BEING HONEST WITH HIM AND FINALLY TELL HIM THAT WE LIKE HIM.

AND THEN WE GET TO PUMP THE BREAKS BECAUSE HES GETTING A LIL EXCITED AND AHEAD OF HIMSELF AND TALKING ABOUT HOW ITS GONNA BE DIFFERENT DATING HIM. BECAUSE IN BEN BARNES MIND THERE IS LONG TERM POTENTIAL AND THESE ARE THINGS WE SHOULD KNOW. OMGOMOMGOMG

And then and then and then and then

I can’t breathe

I actually can’t breathe

Just thinking about it is killing me softly

FUGEES STYLE

Like the FUGEES YA HEAR ME???

A KISS

“I didn’t mean to do that.....just kidding yes I did”

AND THEN HE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!

And I haven’t even caught my breath yet!!

Ben. I am BREATHLESS YOU MONSTER.

Ok. Composing self. Dear Ben, be prepared to be made fun of and gushed over regarding Caspian for the rest of our days together. Sorry not sorry.

Watching ghostbusters with Ben is my new fantasy. I want him to beat me at chess and I want to watch ghostbusters. And like 800 other films but we can pace ourselves.

AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING

That. Is. My. Death.

Kissing that damn freckle was bad enough. But then........

“I LIKE THAT”

“YOU CAN DO THAT WHENEVER YOU WANT.”

Highway One - Part 11

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4800

Rating: M (Language!)

Summary: Dinner with Ben… and then you’ve got to decide what the plan is for the rest of the night.

Author’s note: This is the end, friends. Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me. Thank you for your comments and your feedback and your input. I enjoyed writing this one a TON.

Tag list: @breanime @obscurilicious @padfootagain @madamrogers @suchatinyinfinity @chibiyanai @songtoyou @ethereal-heavcns @editboutique @marauderskeeper @drinix @ilkaeliseb @delicatelilyflower @king4thesirens @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @ymariejp @mr-robot-x @rageshots @shinebrightlikeafanbase @littlemermaidprobz @jovialyouthmusic @zaffrenotes @introvertedlibrary @writing-for-a-chance @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals @likeorions @swiftyhowlz @dylanobrusso @luminex3 @malik-payne @lexxierave @lynne1993 @elanor-of-imladris @bucky-is-my-precious @traeumerinwitzhelden @mfackenthal @weallhaveadestiny @ladyblablabla @sweetybuzz25 @ms-delos @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @damalseer @thesumofmychoices @audreychaz @a-scrumptiouslywingedstudent @my-little-dumpster-fire @the-blind-assassin-12 @benbarnestongue @yannii04 @captainblackeyes @jamielea81 @maralisa124 @hanoi15 @siriusinthetardis

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#rachael is a murderer #ive been murdered #slayed #slain #ded #donezo #caputt #ben barnes character fic #highway one #ive been screaming for months #and im still screaming

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