#this is so LONG im sorry

[nekovale]

4+ comic pages for a stupid punchline? apparently

[coca-colas-truck-driver]

“oh, wow. she dumped you.” CUT! hey, jared, could you say it more sympathetic and less betrayed? no? okay, just- i guess thats fine?

but the “you loved her, and you dumped her” isnt posed as any kind of question, sam doesnt ask why, because he doesnt really care about the why, he just likes that dean had done it. then dean barely gives him a look and suddenly its “oh, wow-“ and the smile he just had is gone and sams looking like he just got told the trip to disney was cancelled over being told it was the other way around. this isnt sympathy its like jealousy mixed with curiosity idk

his tone just goes from teasing to bitter so fast, he doesnt follow dean into the car, and looks around for a second while he thinks about he feels about that. because dean has always been with women, and while it had made sam bitter ever since he was eleven and could place the feeling he got watching dean come back to the motel room covered in hickeys and scratch marks, he had gotten over it after stanford. he didnt have any right to feel that way, and realized how wrong it was he did when he was in a stable environment away from the other half of that co-dependent relationship.

now the feelings hed never addressed about dean fucking anything that is human and wears a skirt are back for the first time since he left for stanford, except this time its about a genuine romantic connection dean had. dean had loved cassie, and she left him, and he just told dean to go talk to her. had been making innuendos about them all day, even

[esteljune]

Listen - [P x reader] short fic

Notes: A vague backstory of the reader is implied. LOADS of fluff!!! you might get cavities from reading. This is totally self indulgent. I'm very insecure about this fic and had it in my draft for so long now, but it's time to share. TW: mention of alcohol abuse and violence

It wasn't the first time you had wandered around the Hotel rooms. Everyone in Krat knew the legends that swirled around that building, and you were no exception to its mysterious and sinister charm.

In its gloomy and solemn reality, the hours passed slowly. Despite the cordiality of its few inhabitants, you often felt like an outsider, alone, light-years away from that intricate and luxurious microcosm.

So you filled the voids by exploring, perhaps also to escape the inevitable questions of those who would have wanted to get to know you better. That's why, when you had finally inadvertently stuck your nose in Geppetto's study, the man's invitation to come in had caught you by surprise.

You hadn't said much to each other. Nothing in truth. He had remained silent, behind the heavy cherry wood desk, studying your interest in his work.

The more you looked, the more his talent seemed incredible to you. The elegance of those designs was undeniable, and even more so their execution. On the simple workbench at the far end of the room, a golden glow caught your full attention.

"This... is his heart, right?" you said, approaching him cautiously from behind.

"In a way. The P-Organ." he explained with undisguised pride, as your eyes traced the soft and elegant lines of the model.

Before you could realize it, a bitter grin had escaped your lips.

"Is this amusing to you?" he retorted, keeping his composure, but his face betrayed a certain tension.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just that, you know, I may not have your talent or your extraordinary ingenuity, but my father was a violent man, he drank, and as a result he was a pathological liar. So I know a liar when I see one."

You were challenging him, you were aware of it. The reason was not entirely clear to you, but it certainly had something to do with your connection to his creation.

"That boy, you call him son... You're lying. I just don't understand why." The man looked at you, more intensely than you had ever been scrutinized before.

A tight smile beneath his neatly trimmed gray mustache. His watery blue eyes, however, betrayed an unknown feeling. You didn't recognize its exact nature, but you suddenly felt vulnerable, exposed, violated.

That man, if he had the opportunity or the means, would have done harm. Perhaps he had already done so.

The thought made you shiver. You tried to hide the discomfort lodged in the back of your throat by returning his smile. You didn't trust him.

Your fingers brushed the steel surface of the heart on display on the pedestal, cold, distant, motionless. Despite its apparent fragility, you knew what it was capable of. You had felt it.

It had suddenly seemed to you an intolerable injustice, a cruel mockery of reality.

He who that heart belonged to was no longer just a mere exercise of craftsmanship. Not anymore. He felt.

"You created something so human that it has a heartbeat. And yet..."

The thud of the double inlaid wood door had shaken you. In the darkened crack, a flash of blue eyes and the now familiar mop of dark hair. The boy entered more silently than his heavy and eternal body would have suggested.

"Son. Come."

He was greeted by the man's voice at the desk, a note of tension hidden in the paternal tone.

He approached with slow, measured steps, and a shiver ran down your spine. It wasn't fear, but something deeper, a connection, perhaps. He held his eyes on you for a handful of your breaths, nothing more.

You had been about to retreat. You didn't want to witness whatever they would say, any orders given. You owed him your life, it would be too painful.

"Our guest was just talking about you. My son, my most precious creation. Come, see for yourself."

The invitation had taken you by surprise, as the creator accompanied Pinocchio to the upholstered armchair at the side of the room. The boy sat down without protest, impassive, while Geppetto bent down to his white chest between the folds of his shirt.

A wave of repulsion rose up in your throat uncontrollably. You would have wanted to see him rebel, not allow that unknown liar to violate him in that way, but he remained still, his head down, as his fingers intruded on his skin, opening a small hatch that exposed his metal heart.

You pushed back the tears that stung your throat, but your cheeks were burning with indignation.

The man looked at you, again more intensely than you would have expected. He seemed to grasp your refusal, but he prepared to mock it with a smile of benevolent compassion, as he would have done with a child in the throes of a tantrum.

"No harm done. Son, I beg you to escort our guest out of my room, I have matters to attend to elsewhere."

The boy limited himself to nodding, his heavy steel hand already gripping the inlaid armrest to lift the weight of his slender body. Curiously, he waited for his father to walk away with slow steps towards the double dark wood doors before approaching you.

You smiled, instinctively, when the clear blue eyes of him met yours in the silence of the room.

You knew he wouldn't say a word, but you had learned to appreciate his quiet, towering presence over you.

You felt the heat of anger leave your face, your breathing slowed as you waited for him to accompany you. Instead, he remained still, his irises suddenly darting away, to that chair he had abandoned just moments before.

You felt an uncontrollable tenderness for him, something you had never felt before. It overflowed from parts of your soul that you didn't remember having after so much pain.

"I don't think you're so different from me. And to understand that, you have to know yourself. You can't do that if your father treats you that way. Here, listen." You blew out a smile, gently taking his heavy mechanical hand and placing it between the folds of his white shirt, at the center of his chest.

You watched his reaction, holding your breath, you realized it too late.

That unguarded thought shook you, when had you allowed yourself to feel anything like that for him?

As you watched him listen intently to the rare and irregular beating of his mechanical heart, you were almost on the verge of touching his cold face dotted with pale freckles, but you gave up. Then, suddenly, his watery blue irises locked onto yours, silently, but laden with a message that was almost desperate, an unknown warmth.

His pale lips moved just a little, empty, not a breath, but an unspoken request. At that point you understood.

"Do you want to feel my heart?" you smiled, your eyes soft on the delicate features of that young, achingly beautiful face. He nodded.

Without further thought, you took his cold fingers in yours again and placed them on your chest. You took a breath, then another, breathlessly.

Suddenly aware of those too-frequent beats that echoed in your ears, you felt your face flush. You had been foolish. His gaze seemed unbearable, you felt vulnerable, caught in the act of that most genuine feeling.

How long had it been happening? How long had his mere presence made your heart race?

You felt the tall boy's body approach, towering over you, almost impassively scrutinizing the reactions of your burning face. It was too late to back down now. You waited.

As your heart pounded under his fingers, Pinocchio avidly weighed every contour of your face, the watery languor that animated your eyes, the flush of redness that spread across your cheeks, the slightly faster breath that escaped your lips. That must be true beauty, he thought.

"Listen... it's my heart beating for you," you whispered then, softly.

Suddenly, he felt an unfamiliar warmth in his chest, something deep, visceral... human. He didn't know the words to describe it, but it was enough to guide his body. He felt a shiver run down your warm skin as he brushed against your face, your heart skipped a beat, your breath became more labored.

Pinocchio wanted more. He wanted to know, he wanted to feel, he wanted to experience. He wanted you. What was that spark in the depths of your irises? Why was your heart beating so desperately? Were you expecting something from him? No... not that, it was something more authentic, elusive, incalculable.

"If you hadn't found me that night, I don't know what would have happened to me. The truth is, I just wanted it all to end. Not to feel pain anymore. But now... you saved me."

Pinocchio felt those words sink so deep inside him that he thought they had carved into the metal. There was pain somewhere, a faint, sweet sadness.

Under the steel palm, pressed against the soft skin, the muffled vibration of your pulses was awakening something in him that was both terribly ancient and familiar at the same time. He wondered what he should do. The undeniable reason for which he had come into the world imposed on him to move away from you, but there was another part, more instinctive, obtuse, that desired everything from you, of your perfect humanity.

Not only that, he wanted you to see him, to want him in return. His fingers moved again instinctively, gently grasped your hand and from your chest led it to his. That silence inside him suddenly seemed unnatural, artificial, he would have wished for a more tangible proof of his emotion.

Instead, he let time pass, counted the beats, let them trace unexplored paths within himself.

Pinocchio listened to your heart for long minutes, a spark of awareness in his blue irises that you had never seen in him before. Although it was now clear that his presence was not indifferent to you, you were happy to have fulfilled his desire, whatever its purpose.

Those feelings, whatever they were, were and would remain one-sided. You knew that well. In another time, perhaps far from him, you would have been afraid of them. Not now.

You smiled at his beautiful, motionless, silent face.

"It's better if I go now."

Pinocchio let you go in silence, your bodies moving away as if they had never been close, but a curious tension remained in the air, an unfamiliar intimacy.

[ravensofskyhold]

Ruoska 2nd verse analysis

Aka why there's a reference to a 20+ year-old sports scandal in this song that on the surface is about BDSM.

(Fuck you Kä for making me write a 1500+ word analysis on a reference in one verse of a song and also for forcing me to learn more about Lahti 2001 than I've ever wanted. /j)

Okay, I was already having thoughts about the second verse of Ruoska, which has lots of references to the doping controversy of FIS Nordic World Ski Championships held in Lahti in 2001 aka the biggest sports doping scandal in Finland. The MV gave new context for that part and made the use of the whole reference make a lot more sense to me, enough to develop those thoughts into a semi-coherent analysis (I'm not kidding about this being semi-coherent, I've spent most of the day writing this. You've been warned.).

This analysis does require me to talk about The Lahti 2001 doping scandal a lot. I’ve decided to focus on what I remember from the aftermath of it, especially the Finnish public opinion and reaction, as it is the most relevant part of it for this analysis. So if you’re not familiar with the topic, I recommend reading a short summary of the facts which can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FIS_Nordic_World_Ski_Championships_2001#Doping_controversy

In the MV, there’s this about 20s pause between the first chorus and the second verse, where the song just stops and people looking at their phones form a circle at the edges of the spotlight (where Käärijä and Erika are) and hate comments aimed at both of them are shown on screen.

After the pause, we get the second verse:

“Lunta on tullut tupaan niin paljon et tarvii sukset / Gotten so much snow in the house that I need skis

On luokkaa Kari-Pekka nää ahdistukset / At level with Kari-Pekka with these anxieties

Et taloyhtiössä on kosteudenmittaukset/ That the housing cooperative takes humidity measurements

Kun rappukäytävän portailla on hemon virtaukset/ When there's massive tides* on the stairs in the stairway”

[link/credits to the translation]

*added context to this line that gets lost in translation is that the substance flowing down the stairs in the stairway is called “hemo” in the original lyrics. Now, I’ve interpreted it to be either blood/hemoglobin or Hemohes (which is the brand(?) name of the banned blood plasma expander substance that people were caught using in the Lahti 2001 doping scandal. Either way, this detail is relevant enough for this analysis.

-----

The idiom "tulla lunta tupaan" (to get snow in the house/living room) means to get misfortune, but I think I've seen it also used to mean getting (excessive) adversity/criticism for something (wrong) you've done (from the public, usually).

There certainly is something fucked up and rather telling that from what I’ve seen, many of Finnish fans old enough to remember Lahti 2001 (me included) needed only to hear "skis" and "Kari-Pekka" to get the doping scandal reference. After all, this is a rather subtle (as in, only Kari-Pekka Kyrö’s, one of the head coaches of the ski team, first name is mentioned in the song!) reference to a scandal that happened over 20 years ago. But it also tells you how big of a deal that doping scandal was for Finns, especially since it happened in cross-country skiing aka one of our pride and joy sports, and how much (perceived) shame was involved on national level.

And oh boy, did that sense of national shame get projected back to the public opinion about the people involved in the scandal. The scandal did have massive and long-lasting repercussions on the careers and the reputations of the people involved in Finland, way beyond the official disqualifications and suspensions. These people went from being celebrated athletes and ski team members that everyone was proud of to being mostly, or even only, remembered for being caught using doping. Their past (and future) achievements suddenly didn’t either matter anymore or, thanks to the doping scandal, were regarded with suspicion.

There’s also a layer added to this by the media’s role and involvement in all this that I’m not going to get into here. Only thing from the media side I’m going to point out is that big part of kicking off this incident was the investigation and subsequent article by Helsingin Sanomat crime journalist that revealed damning evidence of the systematic use of doping substances in the Finnish ski team.

The point is, yes they did wrong, and yes they did deserve the (official) consequences to their careers and a hit in their public images, but everything else? The figurative lashing (pun intended) they got from the media and the public? The media and the public refusing to forget and move on from that incident years after the fact and in the process probably not letting them move on from it properly, either? Being remembered only for your mistakes? That was excessive, way out of proportion to what the crime in question was.

Bringing this back to the song, the MV, and the artists:

This reference, especially with the MV context just made me think of the topic of public opinion of celebs and how quickly it can turn against you, even if you’re currently seen as a “hero” of sorts, like Finland’s ski team was in 2001 or Käärijä is now.

It also made me think of how Finns often tend to be jealous of other people's success (the good ol’ belief that there’s a finite amount of luck/happiness in the world and so other people having luck/success is to blame if you don’t have it is still deeply ingrained in us even if we don’t realize it). Like, there are always people who hate someone more successful or famous than them simply because they are successful/famous.

Also, there's often a sense of schadenfreude involved from certain parts of the public when someone famous does something bad/wrong. Something that (in public perception) "justifies" the negative turn in the public opinion on that person, regardless of how bad/wrong the thing actually was and if the reaction is actually proportionate to it. And especially in famous people’s case, there are always people who are just waiting for them to misstep, to fall, just so they can go “see? I knew they were a bad person all along, that’s why I disliked them!”. Or hell, we’ve even seen people who are constantly waiting for the moment a famous person does something that can be twisted into a controversy, or even hounding them to do something or react to something in a way that paints them in a negative light.

Now, I don't think the hate comments seen in the MV are comparable to what happened after the doping scandal (nor that are they meant to be that), and I don’t claim to know what kinds of hate Käärijä and Erika get usually but I doubt that’s comparable either. But there are some noticeable, if much smaller scale, similarities to some controversies they’ve been a part of and the media/public reaction to those. Which does make the doping scandal an effective reference to use to get the point of (often excessive) negative reactions/comments to everything you do across.

So, when the hate comment pause happened in the MV and the second verse started, it felt like the missing puzzle pieces fitting into their places, and being able to see what the second verse is trying to say. Or my interpretation of it, anyway.

The first line is rather straightforward, mentioning getting enough "snow" (aka adversity/criticism/hate, not misfortune like I thought before) into their lives ("house" in the song) that they need equipment/tools ("skis") to help them wade through it, just to keep living their lives.

The line mentioning Kari-Pekka, and anxiety at the same level as his, is interesting. Because on the one hand, he did take the blame for the doping scandal and was, according to his own words, “the most hated man in Finland” at the time. On the other hand, he did get a lot of publicity and was offered a job as a crisis consultant to teach people how to lie believably, because he appeared so calm, collected, and confident in the media during the scandal. So, while on the surface this line is about having a lot of anxiety due to the hate they’re getting, well, the dude whose anxiety levels they’re likening their own to doesn’t seem (to appear) anxious at all despite shouldering most of the blame and hate for such a big scandal, does he? Hell, he got job opportunities thanks to how not-anxious he appeared in that situation.

And the following lines, I've interpreted to be about other people having to acknowledge the damage from those hate comments seeping into their own lives as well because, depending on what "hemo" is interpreted as, either the cause of that hate (hemohes) or a rather visible representation of the pain caused by the hate (blood) is flooding the stairway now. The pain or the cause of the hate others have let into their living spaces/lives is out in the public space now. And going by the next line “Ja mä tahdon jäädä siitä kiipeliin (kiipeliin)/ And I want to get in trouble for it (in trouble)” it’s happening they intentionally let it out into the public in the first place, because they want to get in trouble for it?

There’s something fascinating about that. About acknowledging that they’re getting hate anyway, so they might as well intentionally and publicly do things that people are going to send them hate for. But also acknowledging the hate they’re getting and making other people acknowledge it as well, refusing to keep it hidden and letting it rot only their own lives.

And then continuing that yeah, we’re getting whipped/hated on for everything we do, but

[roblogging]

i abandoned this wip a while ago and completely stopped writing it but 👉🏻👈🏻 i wanna share some of it bc i think it's pretty decent 👉🏻👈🏻

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

Trauma is… complex, at the best of times. Harry knows this. He’s listened to Mind Healer after Mind Healer explain the intricacies of it - about how his trauma is not only woven into the creases of his brain and his daily life, but that his magical core is fraying as well. Slowly, yes, but it’s fraying. Ripping apart at the seams until he’s either wasting away, or no more magical than a muggle.

Harry can’t help but find this painfully ironic.

To be brought into a world that you knew nothing about, to spend your formative teenage years fighting for not only your life - the fight would’ve ended a lot sooner if that were the case - but for everybody. People who know your name and your story but not you. People who would weep if they heard about what happened in the Forbidden Forest, not because they care about him individually, but because for some reason, this 11 year old boy found in a cupboard is their pinnacle of hope.

To be brought to a school you’ve heard nothing about, to sit in an office with a man you trusted with your life, only to find out that he’s the reason you have it at all. That he’s the reason you’re here, standing in vast hallways or sitting in a crowded common room, keeping tabs on everyone that could potentially harm him rather than joining in on teenage antics.

To be brought up as a soldier that didn’t have a choice, to spend nine months carting around finding Horcruxes whilst the rest of the world holds their breath waiting for the finale. Spending months upon months finding pieces of a rotted soul, and not realising that for every part you find, your own is rotting. Pieces of yourself you can never get back and instead of receiving concern or help, you’re applauded.

To win. To win this egregious fight, to outdo every wizard that has tried before and be shown off on stage like some precious antique with indescribable worth, to look out at faces of people who admire you and all you want is for the cupboard door to open once more and wake you up.

All of this, and so much more, and his magical core is fraying? The very thing that brought him here - that led to every loss, every fight, every death - is folding in upon itself?

The Mind Healer called him ‘self-aware’ when he pointed out all the reasons his core is dying.

Yeah, Harry thinks, that’s the problem.

Because whilst Harry might be self-aware, he was never self-preservative.

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

He’s overly aware of everything as he leans over to the bedside table to top up his glass with the bottle placed there: aware of the sound of amber liquid falling into crystal glass, aware of the weight of it in his hand and the way his wrist twists to bring it to his lips, aware of the slightly sticky feeling of it over his tongue, and far too aware of the burning down his throat, through to his stomach. A burn that never quite fades really.

The alcohol will stop burning after a couple of seconds, the shame won’t. The guilt won’t. Harry won’t stop burning up from the inside out.

As forms of dying go, burning isn’t high on the list. Actually, Harry would argue that it would be an awful way to go and he has the scars on his calves and the unforgettable scent of burning flesh embedded in his nose to support this.

Is burning the right word to use? He isn’t sure. He’s not sure of much right now, but burning feels wrong. Burning implies speed and ferocity, like one moment an object is fine, the next it’s burning, and the next it’s gone. Harry isn’t burning. He’s doing something slower, potentially more excruciating - he’s singeing - lighting superficially, slowly, quietly. The kind of flame that could be put out before it reaches its peak if someone cared to notice.

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

Guilt, as he opens up the door to Teddy’s nursery and walks over to the crying form in the crib. Guilt, as he picks him up and cradles him as best he can, bouncing him slightly up and down and knowing that his arms weren’t built for this, that these arms aren’t the ones Teddy needs. He needs his parents. He needs capable, loving, consistent parents. Andromeda is a fine substitute, a mighty one even, but it takes a village and Harry's barely a resident of his.

“Shh, shhh, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Harry continues to mumble to Teddy as he paces slowly around the room, rubbing a hand up and down his back to try to quench the sobs. He doesn’t know exactly how long it takes, but eventually Teddy quiets down and is grasping at Harry’s hair.

“Do you wanna give that back? No? Okay.” Harry watches through slightly foggy eyes as Teddy’s short mass of light brown hair turns black and disorganised on his head, falling slightly into his eyes without Harry’s signature glasses there to prevent it.

Harry pushes the hair out of Teddy’s now smiling face, his eyes catching on the right side of his forehead. The clear, unmarked, right side of his forehead - just above his brow, edging towards his hairline.

Green eyes staring back at him, a mess of black hair held back by his fingers, a nose slowly shifting shape - the technicalities of bone structure still too complex for a 1-year-old to accomplish.

It feels like looking into a mirror. Not your usual one, not a perfect reflection. Not one quite like the Mirror of Erised either, but somewhere in between - somewhere between desire and reality, where Harry is gazing at a copy of him that isn’t hindered by the jagged stretch of skin and all it contains. A copy of him, born at the end of a war, orphaned, too young to understand why Mummy and Daddy aren’t coming back.

Too young to understand why Harry is crying right now.

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

[vacantgodling]

@void-botanist

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE

so to provide some context and backstory: lord biand sunniva used to be the ruler of The Brass Autumn Court of Alizath--one of the 4 ruling lordoms in the country alongside The Titanium Summer, The Iron Spring, and the Steel (sometimes spelled Steele) Winter; which are all made up of prominent, war and politically savvy families, their nobles, and their vassels who live on their land. many ages ago, these 4 clans were constantly at war with one another, and eventually came to an uneasy peace via pressure of their vassels, who believed that they should not have so much power to turn their lives into turmoil whenever they saw fit. so they created like an assembly thing of some kind that would make decisions for the betterment of all the vassels in every court, and it was basically up to the lords and their nobles ot uphold those decrees. now, this obviously doesn't work that well at first. if you know anything about history and how parlimentary monarchies work, then think that but worse bc not just nobles, but there's basically 4 kings at any given point competing for total influence at all times. however, it takes these political squabbles out of the battlefield and bloodshed, and into the realm of political balls, alliances, and favors.... so at least there's more stability. to a certain extent.

lord sunniva always had grand aspirations, and this hubris would prove to be his undoing... though perhaps less so than his largest rival lord dominiq atherton of the iron spring. but we'll get there eventually cuz rn we're focused on jeanna, who is lord sunniva's younger sister.

after she and biand's parents died, biand took the mantle of lord of the brass autumn, and quickly made it his mission--even if not necessarily to overthrow the council (or whatever im calling it) entirely, that he wanted essentially absolute power over all the other lords because he believed that only through unity would alizath become truly stable. and why not all unify under the most consistent, wealthy, and powerful house, the brass autumn--which it was at the time. biand's parents and ancestors before him did well for themselves, and biand himself was a good ruler, despite his voracious pride.

jeanna herself always found her brother a bit intimidating however. he never had any interest in her, her interests, or her desires, and it lead her heart and mind to stray away from his ambitions, out into the world. she wasn't necessarily looking for love. she was looking for companionship, more than anything. she first initially found that as balls began to take root and the courts began to mingle together; meeting lady love of the steel winter and lady elzbia of the titanium summer. the three of them became a tightnit group of friends, but there was no fourth matriarchal presence that could complete their friendship--as there was no lady of the iron spring; there never was. and the lord of the iron spring; dominiq atherton... he was always a rugged, handsome, and mysterious man.

jeanna's affections first started off as insignificant as a crush. he was handsome, and she could acknowledge that. she, love, and elzbia all tended to have their gossips about the men of the court, so when she mentioned she found him attractive, she didn't think anything of it-elzbia agreed, and while love didn't share their taste she got the vibe. this culminated with her two friends gently encouraging her to speak with dominiq at the balls. jeanna knew her brother wouldn't approve of it because of his hatred of lord atherton, but lord atherton was charming, calm, and made her feel at ease, which was MUCH different than how she felt around her brother. out of her brother's eye she struck up a companionship with him, and this went on for some time before biand found out and berated her super harshly, forbidding her from stepping foot outside their castle walls for a month.

but dominiq appeared at her window with flowers one night. and that was probably when she was doomed.

she became hopelessly enamored with lord atherton; she couldn't help it. he was a safe space away from her brother and the mounting pressure he put on her to conform to his will. maybe she vented to lord atherton about how controlling and heartless he was towards her and how she felt conflicted because she loved him as a brother but many times it felt like he didn't see her as anything more than a pawn for his goals. lord atherton listened and she ate his attention up, none the wiser to his own plan.

it wasn't long before dominiq was able to seduce jeanna into his bed--on more than one occasion. he did everything right and jeanna kept this close to her chest that she'd slept with him, not even telling her closest friends. even though dominiq was isolating her from her brother, she was isolating herself from those who genuninely loved and cared about her and without their guidance she fell deeper and deeper into lord atherton's web. until... it finally happened.

it being that the leader of the council of alizath that was supposed to keep all the nobles and lords working to the people's wishes, was found dead. and lord biand, the most proud, outspoken and perhaps flashy with his displays of wealth and power, was determined to be the most likely culprit. biand wasn't having it, and set to work using their family's witch to try and gain more intel about who actually killed the minister and cleared his name, though his suspicions were always on lord atherton. and he had a right to be suspicious.

when he went to confront dominiq, ready to expose him before the trial... dominiq dropped a bomb. that he had impregnated his sister, jeanna. and it was true. jeanna while all this was going on had begun to experience all the woes of pregnancy and she knew that it would only be a matter of time before her brother found out and discarded her, but while she was having these thoughts, dominiq and biand were hashing it out. dominiq said that he would not only pin the blame on biand, but that he would expose jeanna and ruin their family forever, or, biand could take the high road and skip the trial, but also banish himself from alizath forever--never to return until dominiq himself kicked the bucket. biand had to admit he was out played. and in a rare show of care for his sister (or perhaps more in fear of his reputation), biand withdrew.

he didn't admit fault, but he didn't contest the banishment. jeanna had her baby, quietly, greye, which as promised, lord atherton took as his own. then the sunnivas were cast out of alizath altogether, and the brass autumn's future was left up in the air.

SO all of that rambling to say that jeanna was badly hurt by all of this. she lost her child, earned even further ire and distrust from her brother, and realized the man who she thought was bonding with her, was only interested in using her just as her brother did. but in a worse way. this is 30 ish years before the main story, and jeanna is in her 50s now, and time has both mellowed and hardened her. she no longer questions her brother's will--she just assumes that he's right, because he was right about lord atherton, she just didn't want to see it. so she's become subservient to him and his.... abusive tendencies. she also keeps all her thoughts and opinions to herself. she doesn't agree with how biand is going about getting his revenge, especially involving an innocent girl (kirsi) in it, but she doesn't question him anymore.

to kirsi, she is strict and distant, but can't deny she cares for her. she tries to do as biand wills and not look at her like the daughter she was forced to give up, but she can't help but feel that way, and is softer on kirsi especially once she and kirsi return to alizath alone and get some space away from biand's influence.

overall, i really love jeanna (and most of these characters); she didn't deserve what happened to her, but ik she feels like its too late for happiness for her. but kirsi views her as a mother and wishes she could help her be happy.

[sunnylou28]

hey so I really don't know what this is or if I'm ever going to finish it or even post it, so if you could tell me what you think that'll be really appreciated, thanks!

[starsinthesky5]

Any songs you’re obsessed with recently?

yes, always🥰

- opposite: sabrina carpenter

- you keep me up at night: the driver era

- die with a smile: bruno mars & lady gaga

- you are in love: taylor swift (this one is MY SONGGG)

- american teenager: ethel cain

- coffee: chappell roan

- let it happen: gracie abrams

- freak: lana del rey

- love: lana del rey

- x’s: CAS

- holy ground: taylor swift

- long story short: taylor swift

- die for me: chase atlantic

- entirety of short n sweet: sabrina carpenter

- young folks: peter bjorn & john

- moth to a flame: the weeknd

- nothings gonna hurt you baby: CAS

- heavenly: CAS

- rude boy: rihanna

- disco: surf curse

- iris: the goo goo dolls

edit:

- so american: olivia rodrigo

- slut!: taylor swift

- love is embarrassing: olivia rodrigo

- favorite crime: olivia rodrigo

[artist-the-incorrigible]

Tai Lung Playlist

(AKA: The Gifted Kid's Downward Spiral)

This is a playlist I made inspired by Nehezt's fan comic "Traces of Spring." It covers Tai Lung's backstory, death, and resurrection. Also please be aware this playlist was made while the comic was still unfinished, so depending on what happens during the remaining chapters I might post a second version.

Listen in order if you want the full narrative experience :)

Boreas - The Oh Hellos

Swim - Boy Epic

Gladiator - Jann

Careful What You Wish For (the doctor said to) - Jack Harris

Emperor's New Clothes - Jann

Die - Johnny Goth

notre dame - Paris Paloma

Iron - Woodkid

the warmth - Paris Paloma

Play with Fire (feat. Yacht Money) - Sam Tinnesz

The Devil You Know - Blues Saraceno

Surrender - IAMX

the last beautiful thing I saw is the thing that blinded me (feat. Baily Pickles and Beth B) - Paris Paloma

Army Dreamers - Kate Bush

It is what it is - Abe Parker

Back To Life - Mother Mother

Until It Doesn't Hurt - Mother Mother

Angry Too - Lola Blanc

Problems - Mother Mother

EVIL - Malanie Martinez

jealousy,jealousy - Olivia Rodrigo

Used to the Darkness - Des Rocs

Too Sweet - Hozier

Learning to Be Lost - Shayfer James

Daylight - David Kushner

Where's My Love - SYML

[hestiaember]

She'd had to step out of the wing, into a quiet side room to tap out frantic messages to Reina, digging for details. Her heart felt torn, between getting on a train immediately bound for Twelve to be with Ansel, whose injuries sounded grave-- passenger or cargo or whatever it may be, she'd live-- or to be with her son who had just endured the unthinkable, recovering just up the hall. She wished she could split herself into pieces for each of her children, to give them what they needed right now. She felt like she wanted to sob, scream, tear her own hear out, but it all got stuck in her chest, behind a stopper of numbness. She couldn't break down. Literally couldn't, her body wouldn't let her, numb with what felt like unending disbelief and grief. It all felt too big to be real, like a dream, and for a long while, she sat on a rubbery hospital chair, staring at the white wall across from her. There was a painting there, something abstract, blue and green. Probably chosen to be soothing to patients. By the time she remembered to move again, the arches and curves of each brushstroke were burned into her memory.

Hestia did not know how long had passed when she emerged again, but the detail of Peacekeepers were gone. Only two stood guard outside her son's room, and there was no protest this time when she entered. Slate needed her. He may not know about Twelve. This was the time in her life she'd felt the most fragile, most inhuman, and he needed her right now. So she worked her face into something she hoped came off as calming, neutral, like the painting, and stepped toward her child's bed. "Slate?" she called softly, not wanting to wake him if he was getting well-deserved rest, or if he wasn't, well... feeling particularly lucid. Sometimes tributes came out the other side with only a tenuous grasp of reality, and she didn't know what to expect. She could quash down the overwhelming urge to pull him into her arms until she knew it wouldn't cause him panic.

@slate-skylar

[spellbindingnights]

@utterxdesires

Oh, he was seething with rage. Declan had never felt this angry in his life, and the image of Cara's tears and bruises and trembles did not make any of it better. He had warned his parents about this, he had told them that Seamus was not a good option. The fact that she had been hiding this from him for such a long time did not make it any better.

He was seeing red, his whole body was trembling with fury. He had never felt like this before and Declan couldn't help but to feel more unstable than ever. He walked into the shop where he was, acting as if he hadn't been terrorizing and brutalizing his sister (and nephew) for years now. There was a bit of a crowd, but he had always been reckless.

"Hey, Declan, how you've be--" Seamus never finished the sentence because Declan's raging fist connected with his jaw. There were gasps and people started getting out of the shop as Declan grabbed the other man by the collar of his jacket and slammed him against the nearest wall. "Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?" He hissed, slamming his body once again against the wall. Seamus' attempts to defend himself were practically useless and even funny. "You think I don't know what you did to my sister?" After that, he dragged his body pushed him over the window shop.

The large glass shattered into thousand of little pieces and Seamus body landed on the bed of glass. Declan got out and straddled him before punching him again, and again, and again, and again. He grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face against the glass. It was brutal, but that's who he was: a brutal man. "Not so brave now, huh? If you ever hurt my sister again, I will make you eat all this glass, you hear me? Fucking waste of space" Declan punched him again, and again, and again. People were begging for him to stop, but he didn't listen. Well, not until he heard the police sirens.

After meditating it for less than a second, he decided to continue. If he had to go to jail for this, he'd go gladly. Unfortunately, he felt someone tugging from him, as in trying to get him away and, for the first time, instead of seeing red, he saw one of the prettiest faces he had ever seen.

[burntcarpet]

Facts about MC and Chelsea’s past relationship if we choose ex-gf route ? And what does Chelsea think of MC presently ?

was going to answer this later because I wanted to be fair and answer asks by the date it was submitted but I love Chelsea way too much I need to talk about her

You met Chelsea during the first semester of your 2nd year of university, under not very great circumstances. She may have been a bit of a mess initially, but if you went for the ex-girlfriend route, you found yourself intrigued rather than put off by her less-than-perfect first impression.

Regardless of the path you chose, Chelsea took an interest in you, whether romantically or platonically. She often accompanied you while studying between classes, bringing you coffee or energy drinks during exam season. Even if you weren't fond of Chelsea at first, her consistent friendliness made it hard not to warm up to her.

As time progressed and she gradually developed a crush on you, she stuck to you more often, intentionally choosing electives you're in just so she could be with you for longer. She became bolder, teasing you to see your flustered face and flirting openly, only to play it off innocently when confronted. Eventually, she asks you out in your third year, shortly before she graduates from her premed program.

The confession was simple, almost impulsive. You were handing her flowers when she suddenly blurted out "Do you wanna go out with me?" Your eyes widen in surprise "...are you teasing me again?" you ask hesitantly. Her lips quirked up playfully "Depends. Will you say yes?"

The first few months of dating her were a dream, Chelsea is attentive and sweet, always making sure you never feel alone despite her busy schedule. However, the further she gets into her internship, the more you grow apart. It's not her fault, she didn't mean to, but it gets too overwhelming when she gets home from work and immediately goes on a date with you. She loves spending time with you, she promised, but you can't help but feel neglected when the date keeps getting shorter and she keeps arriving at the date later and later.

A year into the relationship, just a month before your anticipated anniversary and graduation, you both mutually decided to part ways. It was a decision you had seen coming for some time. There were no tears shed, she simply asked for a hug and left. You don't know what she felt, the look on her face was unreadable.

Though Chelsea regrets the breakup and part of her longs for the early days of your relationship, she knows it's not possible. You hold a special place in her heart, but she'll never reveal how much she wishes for your return. You are friends now, and she'll support you in pursuing whoever you choose, even if it's not her.

[pippeebottom]

Confession but sometimes I feel like a bad baby… I’m so deep in the scene and really enjoy the fantasy but I’ve never really had the funds or privacy to enjoy my little time irl. Does that make me a bad little? I’ve only ever worn 2 or so diapers, and I don’t have any other abdl gear or anything

Plus, I’m always terrified of anyone irl finding out about me

i’ve only been actively wearing for about 8 months, so i might not be the best person to answer this but i relate to your feelings so much and i don’t think anyone deserves to feel bad for doing things they enjoy, so i’ll do my best to give you some coherent thoughts

especially being a part of this community, seeing all of these cuties around you seemingly living their best diapered lives, it can be really easy to get caught up in what being little should look like and feel bad for not living up to that. i can promise you i feel like that at least twice a week, but it’s helped me to be reminded and remind myself that what we see on tumblr is just a part of people’s life (and not always completely real, there’s a level of fantasy to a lot of it as well!)

there’s nothing wrong with not being able to afford fancy abdl items, even if the only thing you’re buying is diapers, it adds up and can be really costly! i’ve been lucky enough to have some pretty amazing people in my life gift me a lot of the stuff i have, but i also opt for cheaper options on things i can (like my sippies, bottles, utensils) i may not be the best person to tell you where you can/can’t cut corners but i also came onto tumblr with zero knowledge of how to actually practice abdl outside of a fantasy. i learned everything from reading posts on here, on reddit, from talking to other littles and doms, asking so so so many questions, and i never stop learning new things about this community, this kink and myself. it comes with a lot of mixed feelings and sometimes it can be frustrating but i always try to focus on the joy i experience when im able to regress

talking to people and being willing to experiment can help a lot, so can knowing when you need to take a step away from tumblr. if I’m scrolling and feel myself comparing my journey to everyone else i see and being upset with that, it’s time to take a step away from the screen and color a pretty picture or drink some strawberry milk or watch some carebears or pee your pants or whatever it is that makes you feel small and babyish. focus on that feeling, focus on the things you find in your life that make you smile and giggle and kick your feet in the air. your ability to find that despite all the stress and doom in the world surrounding you is what makes you a good baby, not how many onesies you have or how often you’re padded. and you are a good baby, you’re a good little.

as far as being afraid people irl will find out….yeah, its scary! its hard not to be afraid, but as long as you aren’t flashing it around to everyone, at least in my experience, most people won’t notice. and if there are people in your life that are really close to you that care about you, they might not mind!! don’t let that fear stop you from being happy. keep your chin up!! <3

[zoozvie]

Hey Vivi! Do you feel like sharing the plot for one (or more!) of your WIPs?

Oh boy I really set myself up for this one. Thank you for asking🧡

!!! 1. I am almost done with part one of my Levi/Mermaid fic, which you've seen the draft for, so I'm getting excited to post that soon since it's taken so long to get around to.

2. A quick angsty drabble, where Levi cares for a member of his team, on the field during a gruesome expedition. hurt/comfort, nonsexual bathing in a river, and blood/gore tw

Teaser: You’re still covered in blood when everyone sets up camp for the night.

3. Unfortunately I have been opened up for more mermaid ideas so I also have a Mermaid!Levi/Pirate!Runaway(oc/reader) one-shot I would like to do as well.

Overview: Pirates of the Caribbean era, specifically the scene when they first encounter mermaids by singing on a dingy boat. She is discovered on a ship after stowing away and pretending to be a man, but someone outs her to the captain. Instead of being thrown overboard, the plan is for her to lure the sirens out and be used as an offering if they are hostile. The crew believes this is her crime for bringing bad luck onto their ship and for her family’s lineage of piracy. She is tied up on the boat with a couple of sailors and attempts to sing for the mermaids, but before she finishes, Levi completes the song for her as he emerges from the water. She intrigues him since she seems so helpless, but this aids in entrapping Levi in the net of the larger ship where they will question him for the location of the shipwreck they’re looking for.

Levi is haughty and vicious to the seamen and shows distrust in her for luring him onto their ship. She can prove herself when an accident happens and they are under attack by the pod of merfolk Levi is from. She frees herself but chooses to risk her life to free Levi as well when the man who discovered her identity attempts to kill them both. Hopefully they can get along after that.

!!! 4. The Royal au with poly king!Erwin/queen!Reader(OC)/knight!Levi

The prompts themselves are alright... but I've had at least one vivid daydream about each of them and I really just want to get that scene down Right.

[cometrose]

let me try to get all of my hunger game feelings down as quickly as possible

first of all, what a series it was so much better than i remember and i don't like 10 year olds should've been allowed to read this but i think for the most part all of the traumatic shit went over their heads

peeta my son, he has been reduced to a soft spoken bread boy over the years and i did not remember or realize how charming he was in the book gosh he is my babygirl and so sweet

in the first book he was an absolute treasure like the way he flirts with katniss the way he moves a crowd im in awe like i fucking love the interview scene in the first book and the movies do it such a disservice because his crush confession is so shocking that everybody kind of gasps like he has stolen this crowd at the show (im kind of sad cause caesar and peeta duo was so iconic naturally stars)

god katniss my dear i don't know where to start with her

i had no idea she was such a shitty narrator like if i didn't already know the entire plot i might have believed her crazy ass. Especially in the first book the girl is insane. peeta is living his terrible life with a crush while katniss is having a one sided enemies to lovers moment all in her fucking head. It is not until the train home that its like oh he was serious ofc you fucking walnut.

katniss is the star but everyone with eyes knows that if you take peeta away from her she'll breakdown and thats the cruelest part. I think if I was Snow i would've left katpee alone idk why put the spark back in the spotlight ya know?

the second book peeta was another beam of light god the baby line is so iconic and he deserved it malewife manslaughter manipulate he has done it all and did it flawlessly

and he’s still so sweet like trying to get katniss to leave him or backing off when he thinks she's with gale he always so respectful of her space

the fucking locket and pearl are very special to me like he knows and SHE KNOWS there is nothing left for him in 12 but she doesn't listen

there is so much warmth in him from painting rue's portrait for the gamemakers or offering gifts to district 11 like he didnt know thresh and rue but he knew how much it meant to katniss and how awful it was for them to die. Even him talking the morphling as they died just gently describing his paintings and rainbows was so precious

And I think about katniss and peeta were labeled as rebels for simply showing acts of kindness I like how he gets mad and that gentleness disappears but there is always a reason behind it, and him taking care of haymitch is just the sweetest he has attitude but so much warmth

then in MJ goodness its a lot first the torture and then risking it all to warn the rebels and then later like yes he tried to kill katniss but she overlooked it and so will i and hes so mean and cruel when he's out of his mind but can you blame him its not like he's lying??

the moments where that gentleness comes out again are so precious to me when he bakes annie and finnick's wedding cake when he talks sweet to delly its the little moments and how like every single book before he still wants katniss to live and he's crying and begging for death and digging his arms into his wrists to hold himself together

in the end he still wont let katniss die and the first thing he fucking does after getting out of wherever the fuck they stored him was to plant primroses in front of her house and i love him so much

he's really smart its just that no one tells him the fucking plan ever even though they all agree he's a great fucking actor

He knows he hold katniss back and he wants her to let him go but she wont and he wont let her go either and he gives her space to sort out her feelings like yes he loves her he always has and he has never tried to push her and he's just a kind person and i really really really that

At the end of the day i will always treasure a character who is simply a good person

Katniss has her moments of frustration but I don't think I can ever get mad at her because like peeta she is a genuinely good person.

Don't listen to her shitty inner monologue she doesn't have a fucking clue she is so empathetic and compassionate and caring she might not be outwardly sweet but she shows it with her actions, with rue, prim, peeta, everyone and everybody her kindness knows no bounds and she does it because she desperately wants to protect the people she loves

I think so much is lost from katniss' character into shitty ya dystopias of the 10s is that compassionate. She did not become a symbol of rebellion because she really wanted to she did it to protect the people she loves every act of rebellion was a show of love and compassion whether it is burying a little girl and singing her to her death or risking it all to help as many people as she can

peeta says it the best that she has no idea the affect she has on people and her crappy elder sister inner monologue shows that she thinks so little of herself and her ability that she undermines her skills and talents and natural charisma.

So much of her is survival “I want to the people i love to survive” and when innocent people die because of her when her friends fall to save her it hurts and hurts and she is buried under the weight of it all, burying the burden of a rebellion is not something that should be thrust upon a young girl trying to live

she's moody she's feisty but damn does she love deeply and passionately it just looks different.

THG is a very gross book there is no other way to describe everything is far uglier then you remember. The wolf mutts that look like tributes the tears the blood and pain its all so awful. Reading through the pain and the suffering and it does this really odd thing of making you smile in between the moments of terror. I love katniss' flashbacks through the book and how they reveal more and more of the story.

Katniss could have abandoned peeta and left him like he told her too multiple times but she wanted him to live she wanted that boy who gave her bread to survive and she knew if he died she would never recover it may not be the love we are thinking about but it was everything.

I don't think i will forget how awful cato's death is and how my eyes watered reading rue die again. THG is so good and making us despair you come out of that silly book hating nobody there is no tribute that i can afford to hate. The first book has a very unique vibe to it and i like it's style.

CF, catching fire is probably my favorite cause its the least traumatizing. I blame katniss and peeta for that because they are the cutest fucking thing in that stupid book. I argue that it might be a mix of love and codependency thrown in there but the cutest shit.

I totally forgot about the gale katniss love stint at the beginning so that was a total surprise.

I love the cast of catching fire i love them all i love finnick and mags and johanna and beetee and wiress and morphling 6 ( i dont like calling her that) i love the stylists and cinna and effie and i like themmmm. i like them all i love how the city and nation cries for their tributes and you see all of their friends and allies come together before the end begins.

That fucking force field has me smiling every time because its the moment where everybody but katniss realizes how much peeta means to her. The stupid pearl and the stupid locket make my heart hurt because peeta loves her so much and wants her to live and she doesn't care because she'll do anything and everything to keep him alive.

Watching them hold each other in the train, cry over force fields, drag each other through fog and water, hold each other in their arms after terrible jabberjays, even before when she was watching him bring her bread and paint in her home and katniss would stare at his eyelashes. Like she says it would be easy to let peeta go but she will never do that and she can't. Calling out for each other before she blows up the damn force field like fuck you all even if they didn't fall in love i know damn well they should've stayed together.

MJ is such a hollow book you just come out of it with emptiness like im not sad i wont cry but i feel a bit empty because you look at all the things you had and then its all gone, what was katniss fighting for? her sister, her mother, gale? and its all gone in and instant nothing remains, her friends her home the companions she made along the way and it hurts and hurts. You close the book and take a deep sign and just feel whatever is left to feel. Madge's death kind of hurt me she was the symbol behind the symbol and she is just gone. everybody is gone

Like there is nowhere to begin its falling in love even more with finnick and watching him disappear its falling in love with katniss' little camera crew and watching them disappear

its prim the light that started this just disappear and whats left NOTHING

there are so many moments where katniss wants to rip her head off but she can't because she doesn't have time there is no space there is no room its not until she if shipped back to her home all alone that she truly breaks down because she can. there is no more rebellion she has to be strong for there is no prim or mother she has to lead and she is stuck with all the weight all alone.

MJ just left me hollow like maybe if i read this years ago after CF came out i would’ve hand the sticky stuffy feeling i get in chest when i read bittersweet stories but i don’t know if this is sweet enough and it’s not bitter? it’s nothing just nothing is left

i love the parallels the book has with modern society like this is a death game where children have to fight to the death and everyone only paid attention to the love triangle and romance like they did in the games of the fact nobody cared a 16 year old girl would die in senseless violence until they realized she was pregnant like the baby suddenly makes her life valuable

simple acts of kindness labeled as rebellious and innocent children are forced to shoulder the weight of the world when they have no one left. there are so many moments where death would be the kindest thing to any of these characters because they had no hope but hope enters so when they die their death hurts like nothing else.

it tells a story of war and survival that seems so far away but so close. Katniss just wanted to live and the people she loved to live she never asked to become the face of a war but she does it and she stands strong until she can’t anymore i love her and i think her love and empathy has been lost over the years

if i were to talk about the romance okay it’s been years i knew peeta was going to win but seeing him again was so refreshing cause he is so charming and sweet and it makes my heart flutter. if katniss didn’t want him i’ll take him

i don’t hate gale, like his anger and rage caused prim’s death and you can argue having Coin in his ear and having to raise his family all by himself traumatized him so he believes it’s okay to sacrifice innocent lives (children and doctors mind you) for the greater good.

Both boys are rebels and they are good people deep down but peeta is motivated by kindness he does these things because it is the kind thing to do gale does these things because he’s angry for all he has to suffer. Both sides are justified in their feelings but it’s about katniss at the end of the day

there are many moments where katniss is taken back my gale’s cruelness and flame. She doesn’t need him to appeal to her anger to the rebellious aspect of her being. Peeta however appeals to the softer side of her soul the one that nurtures little girls who sings people to sleep he opens up the sweet side of katniss that she is positive doesn’t exist. She can be painfully romantic and she can tell everyone she doesn’t see the beauty in the world but she does she sees it every time.

There is more to katniss that fighting and hunting and i don’t think gale knew that. At the end of the day the only option was Peeta because he complimented the side of her that was buried by the weight of the world and i think that adds more meaning to her life than anything else

there are so many characters to talk about j loved ever second with haymitch and how he acts like he doesn’t care but every single tribute that has come after him has left a hole in his heart. My district 12 tributes are disasters but they truly care about each other probably every only people left in the world who would risk it all

[anxiouslyextroverted]

DSMP finale and why its not as bad as people say it was - understanding is not forgiveness.

Everyone is saying that its written badly, and that its damage control but Tommy has said this was in the works for months now. Everyone is saying that it isn't a satisfactory conclusion, and maybe that is the case for us; the audience but it is satisfactory for cTommy.

--

cTommy never forgave cDream. He understood him, he saw cDreams past and realised that cDream had morals and had goals. He understood what those goals now were. He saw that happy server that was in the past and realised that cDream missed it. This is not him at all forgiving cDream, this is not him saying that everything that happened to him was fine, he is simply seeing cDreams perspective.

Sure, he apologises but thats him apologising for his own actions and for the bad things he has done in general, this never was meant to imply that cDream was in the right. cTommy even says that he doesn't agree with anything cDream did, he just says that he can see his point now. -

At a surface level, cTommy being sympathetic towards cDream makes no sense, but then you consider his goal behind everything. Why he always went after cDream? and its for closure.

He wanted closure not with cDream dying (as we see in prison lore he can't kill cDream) He thinks he can do it but he can't and thats because by killing him, he never finds out why cDream harmed him.

Abuse victims often need to figure out why their abusers harmed them so they can have that closure, that understanding, they no longer will be kept awake at night wondering for hours 'what did I do wrong?' 'why did they do it to me?' 'did they like hurting me?' ..and if you look at cTommy, he's always wondered why cDream targetted him and what did he do wrong. He just wanted to know why. And this finale provided that answer to him.

cDream isn't being redeemed, he says things like 'you deserved it' and he never apologises. But this isn't about them reconciling, and becoming friends. This is about cTommy finally knowing why he was hurt so many times, and it co-exists with the fact that cDream was never justified in hurting him.

cDream was never forgiven or excused, he was only explained. None of cDreams motivations and desires were painted as correct. And cTommy seeing cDream as human isn't him forgiving him.

You have to consider that cTommys trauma has a big role to play in this whole thing. Why sympathize with cDream? He always did even before exile, he always tried to understand him but got left with evil monologues in response, never knowing the true reasons until he saw that limbo. He just wants it over, he just wants to be free, he smiles because he is free, he gets the reassurance, he realises why cDream thinks everythings his fault and then he finally was at peace.

until the nuke went off.

Theres even a chance that if the nuke didn't go off, cDream would betray cTommy eventually but we'll never know.

The finale ended off with cTommy putting his heart over his head, and also empathizing with the person that hurt him the most just as cTommy has done in the past over and over. Fits cTommy perfectly.

But then both cTommy and cDream achieve what they wanted; the server being simple again.