#this is said with love in my heart though again this fandom is really nice sometimes im just like. guys x_x

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Better, Not So Hidden Half

Part 2 of The Better, Hidden Half

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!reader

Summary: After Tim decided he didn't want to keep you hidden any longer, you meet the rest of his friends (colleagues, as he prefers), but not the way he planned.

Warnings: depiction of minor injuries (Tim), fluff, grumpy!Tim, Smitty, mentions of drugging

Word Count: 1.9k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

When Tim was infected by an unknown biological weapon, he told you that he wanted to stop keeping you separate from the rest of his life. You’re his better half, and he cares deeply about you and your safety, but that doesn’t mean you should be his hidden half. During his short stay in the hospital, Wade introduced you to Lucy Chen, Tim’s rookie, and John Nolan. Since then, however, Tim hasn’t done proper introductions or made any real changes. He has started wearing his wedding ring to work, though, rather than leaving it on a chain around your neck. Baby steps, maybe, but it’s progress.

Your phone rings while Tim is at work, and your breaths grow shallow when you see Wade’s name on the screen. The last time something happened to Tim, Angela called you; any time you see Wade Grey, Angela Lopez, or Talia Bishop’s names appear on your phone, your heart drops in fear for your husband.

“Hey, Wade,” you answer softly.

“Can you please come talk some sense into your husband?” he asks.

Wade's tone and accompanying sigh are all you need to hear to know he’s tired. Sirens have surrounded you all day, so you’re not surprised that something happened.

“About what?” you reply.

“Sorry for the surprise call,” he adds, “I know those can be concerning, so I’ll go ahead and tell you that Tim was in a minor accident, but he’s refusing to get looked at.”

“Shocking,” you joke. “I’ll be there soon. How is he?”

Wade begins to answer, but you hear Tim yell, “If I need a break, I will take one!” in the background.

“Sounds about the same as usual,” you say and answer your question. “See you in a few.”

“Thank you. You’re the best honorary cop I’ve got.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Sergeant Grey.”

When you walk into the Mid-Wilshire Station, Tim and Wade are nowhere to be seen. You see Angela waiting nearby, and she rushes to hug you after you wave.

“Are you finally here to meet everyone? Since someone decided that he needed to talk to you alone to heal last time?” she asks playfully.

“I’m here because Tim is injured and stubborn,” you answer.

“And he’ll still be injured and stubborn after you meet the boots who can’t stop talking about you.”

“Is he okay?” you whisper.

“He’s fine. Barely injured, I promise.”

You nod and thank her before she leads you toward a small crowd of officers. Talia says hello, and the three in long sleeves stand up straighter when they see you.

“Mrs. Bradford, nice to see you again,” Lucy greets.

“You too, Officer Chen,” you reply.

“Lucy, please.”

“You’ve met Lucy and Nolan – however brief Tim kept it. And this is my rookie, Jackson West,” Angela introduces.

“Nice to meet you,” you offer with your handshake.

“So, you married Bradford?” he asks. “Why?”

You chuckle at the question but can’t answer your cliched answer of because I love him, and he’s really just a big softie under the sarcastic eye rolls and grumpy yelling before Nolan asks another question.

“At the hospital, you said less than five words to Tim, and he listened. No complaining, no hateful looks, just immediately obeyed. How do you do that?” Nolan inquires.

“Wait – how did you meet?” Jackson adds. “Let’s be chronological.”

Nolan nods in agreement, and you prepare to answer.

“Then I want to know your first thought of Tim. Before you met, just saw each other, whatever… what did you see that drew you in?” Lucy asks.

Angela and Bishop smile as your eyes bounce between the rookies and their never-ending questions. You can’t answer one before the next one is asked, and though you don’t feel the same, you can understand why Tim didn’t want you to meet them all at once.

“No!” Lucy exclaims. “Where did Tim propose?”

“The place where they met,” Talia answers.

Nolan turns quickly to yell, “You knew Tim was married! Why didn’t you mention her?”

“She’s not my wife,” Talia replies sarcastically. “Not my story to tell.”

“I would have talked about her because she’s my best friend,” Angela interjects. “But Tim threatened me.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Bradford,” Jackson says. “We’re just excited and shocked and have so many questions.”

“Mrs. Bradford?” a passing officer asks. “You’re too young to be Mom Bradford, and you’re not his sister…”

“I’m Tim’s wife,” you finish.

“This is Smitty,” Angela tells you.

She winks quickly, and you nod in understanding. You’ve heard plenty of stories about Smitty, and more than enough complaints when you’re alone with Tim. He seems unique, to put it lightly (and kinder than Tim does).

“You married Tim Bradford? Was he by any chance in possession of narcotics or mind-altering drugs when you met? Because it’s pretty easy to convince a woman to do something these days, just a little powder in an uncovered drink, you know,” Smitty continues.

“Smitty, have you drugged a woman before?” Nolan asks. His suspicion is evident in how he asks and the narrowing of his eyes.

“Well, Officer Smitty,” you begin. You nod at Angela, and her smile grows when she realizes you plan to play along.

Tim stands with a quiet grunt of pain. He stretches to the side to fight the growing stiffness and sees Lucy talking to a group of people. Smitty approaches the side, and Nolan steps back to reveal the focus of all of the attention. Tim doesn’t think twice and races out of Wade’s office to save you from the boots.

You address Smitty but don’t say anything more before Tim wraps his hand around your arm while the other grips your hip and pulls you backward. Tim moves you away from Angela and ignores the protests that follow your sudden departure. You don’t fight him as he leads you into Wade’s office. Wade looks up and mouths a relieved thank you.

“Tim, as much as I love meeting the people you pretend not to care about, would you please stop getting hurt and giving me an excuse to drop by unannounced?” you ask.

“I didn’t get hurt,” Tim argues.

His hands are still on you, so you turn in his hold to look at him. Several scrapes litter his left cheek, and you run a gentle finger under them. You can see that his shoulders are tense but you're grateful that his injuries seem to be limited to some stiffness and scrapes.

“What did Wade tell you?” Tim whispers.

“That you were being stubborn and not listening,” Wade mumbles behind you. “I’m surprised she believed me.”

Tim keeps his eyes on you but doesn’t comment further on his injuries or the rookies you just met. He looks down, and you follow his eyes to his hands. His left hand is wrapped tightly with gauze and bandages as he slides his right hand into his pocket.

“Had to take this off,” he tells you.

You extend your hand to accept his wedding ring and curl your fingers around it. After unhooking your necklace chain, you slide his ring on and keep it safe against your chest. Tim nods once it’s secure with you and pulls you to sit beside him. You lay a hand against his right cheek and smile as he leans against your hand. He leans in and kisses you quickly before glancing at Wade to ensure he isn’t watching.

“He’s seen us kiss before,” you remind Tim.

“And I will never let you forget it,” Wade agrees, focusing on the paperwork before him.

“No mind-altering drugs required,” Tim says with a small smile.

“Now I understand why you didn’t want me to meet Smitty.”

“I warned you.”

“Luckily, Angela introduced me to the rookies first, and I invited them over for dinner on Sunday. Wade, you and Luna are welcome to come, too, if you’d like,” you say.

Tim groans as Wade promises to pass the invitation on to Luna. You sit back carefully as Tim leans against you. He’s grumpy about your new connection with the boots but loves you. Tim meant it when he said he didn’t want to keep you hidden and risk wasting his life by separating from everything else that matters to him.

“Lucy won’t shut up,” he realizes with a dramatic sigh.

“Yeah, because I’m sure you carry half of the conversation as it is,” you tease. “Don’t forget how well I know you, Bradford.”

“As long as you don’t forget that I don’t like these people, Bradford,” Tim counters.

“You let Angela come over all the time. And don’t give me the whole ‘she scares me’ thing; you love her.”

Tim moves closer to you to whisper, “I love you more.”

“Then go get a full physical examination. Make sure all the handsomeness is still put together like it’s supposed to be.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Then maybe you don’t love me like you claim to. That’s why you leave your ring with me, right? Easier to bring women in when no one knows you’re married.”

Wade fails to hide a laugh before he covers it with a fake cough. Tim shakes his head but kisses you again before standing. You follow him to the door and thank Wade for the call. Tim waves everyone over, and Lucy beats the rest of them by a solid three seconds.

“Hi again,” she tells you.

“I’ll go see the medic if you rescind the dinner offer,” Tim tells you.

“You’ll go see the medic either way, so no,” you reply.

“We’ve decided a better way to ask questions, and we’ll give you time to breathe in the future,” Jackson says. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Jackson. I understand the excitement; not the shock because, I mean, look at him," you wave toward Tim and continue, "but it’s not every day that you meet Officer Grumpy’s secret wife.”

“Did you just gesture to me like I’m a game show prize?” Tim murmurs.

“Tim and I will be happy to answer all your questions at dinner. It was very nice to meet all of you, and if Smitty asks again, I was absolutely drugged.”

Tim drags you away once again, and Angela only hears him ask, “Officer Grumpy?” before the door closes behind you both.

You turn and place a hand under Tim’s chin. One touch, a smile, and a kiss turn Tim back into your loving husband. He didn’t realize that keeping you separate from his work life gave you a unique power over him because he’s never had to hide his love for you or the physical affection he’s grown to crave.

“Be careful,” you request softly. “And call me if they find any other injuries.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tim answers.

“Don’t,” you warn.

“You kissed me first.”

“Thanks for letting me be part of your life, Tim.” He nods and kisses you slowly, but you push him away to warn him, “Ask Angela to tell you about Smitty before he says anything about our relationship.”

“You talked to Smitty, too? Maybe I should start leaving you at home again.”

“I love you,” you call over your shoulder.

“I love you,” Tim replies.

He walks back into the station with two things on his mind: learning what Smitty thinks about you and Tim that was worth a warning and getting home to you. Your touch, kiss, and the soft return of his ring will always be the best part of Tim’s day, and even though he wears his ring more often now, you still pull him in because he needs you more than he’s ever needed the ring.

[ziggymars]

mirror, mirror (18+) - cl.16

Charles Leclerc x Reader

winner from this poll

warning(s): sentences that would have gotten me lobotomized in the 1900s, terribly translated Italian AND French, established relationship, fingering, squirting, daddy kink, praise kink, unprotected pnv, cream pie, horn dog charles and awful writing probably, please don’t hate me im intimidated by the f1 fandom even though i am in it ..... also i didn't proofread the whole thing please forgive any errors, they will probably be fixed soon. minors pls DNI.

word count: 3.7k+

A/N: mama an inchident behind you ! I know I was going to post this like a month ago, but I'm going through it sis AND my computer ate the original so I had to rewrite this oop. i'm very sorry to everyone who was expecting timo, the mexico city gp had me feral so you get this monstrosity. don’t hesitate to send any dirty thoughts you have about charles, perhaps inspiration will strike and i will give you the gift of sinful prose. i'm nervous to post this but i'm going to anyways xoxo zigs

The first thing you usually hear that is a clear indication that Charles is home, is the purr of his engine pulling into the driveway. A sound that had quickly become one of your favorites. A cacophony that drove your neighbors completely mad, music to your ears. Next came the jingling of his keys, echoing in the foyer. Which was very clear to you from where you stood. Today you were faced in front of a ginormous mirror. It had just gotten delivered but the installation guys wouldn't be able to make it until next week; so now it was placed, halfhazardly, against the wall in the living room. Definitely not where it was supposed to go. It looked kind of nice there regardless, reflecting the warm glow of lights in your shared home.

You glanced over at the clock, a familiar anticipation bubbling inside of you. He had mentioned an interview with Max earlier, and you could only imagine how it had gone. The door creaked open, and you turned your head -- a warm smile spread across your face at the sight of him. There he was, looking so effortlessly handsome as he always does. "Honey, I'm home!" He chirped, once again, as he always did. Charles strode to where you stood, and he stopped in his tracks for a moment as his eyes fell on the mirror. "Wow, um.... that's huge," he said with a raised brow, astonishment clear on his features. He continued walking towards it and ran a finger along the ornate frame, your eyes following it the entire time "I didn't expect it to be this big."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his observations, you had thought the same thing when it came. "Neither did I." You said as you followed closer to him to wrap an arm around his side, head on his shoulder. "What do you think?" You asked, "I think it will look really nice in the stairway. Installation guys can't make it until next week though.”

Charles mirrored you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He tilted his head to the side as he studied his reflection and then he began to study yours. "I think it will look really amazing once it's put up. For now it takes up a lot of space, no? I guess that's alright." He said, the last part mostly to himself.

For a moment, you both stood there, caught in the sight of your reflection. There was something intimate about it, even if both of you were fully clothed. It captured your visage but also the energy in the room; remnants of shared memories and love. An idea came to him that made all of his cares about its current placement fly out the window.

"Do you want to try it out?" Charles asked suddenly, catching you off guard. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Come on, don't you want to see how we look together?"

A warm flush spread across your cheeks and you ripped your eyes from his reflection to look at him for real as you asked "Together?"

"Of course. You know what I mean." He laughed and turned his gaze to look at you too, the intensity making your heart skip just a beat. "Please. Let me play with you, il mio cuore."

Your shoulders brushed as you turned to face him, your mouth opening to protest. You had two Cornish hen's in the oven that you desperately did not want to burn. It wouldn't have been the first time you nearly started a fire because of Charles' obsession with pleasing you. It was a protest that he didn't even let escape your mind before he was placing a finger over your lips to silence you. "Just turn it off, if you're worried about dinner." He knew without you even having to say it, he could smell the aroma from the kitchen. And while it did smell really, really good -- the pull to explore this mirror’s capabilities was too strong for him. Too strong to miss this opportunity.

You gave a playful roll of your eyes before you kissed the finger pressed to your lips, a sigh of “Fine.” slipping through the space around it.

Too excited to wait even a moment longer, he gives your ass a light spank, saying "Hurry along." The commanding tone sending a shiver down your spine and a skip in your step as you did as he told; scampering to the kitchen to turn the oven off. It took you no time and even less to get back to him.

"Good girl." He purred and then pulled you closer to him by the shirt you were wearing, his shirt, maneuvering your body until you were both facing the mirror. Charles towered over you, his torso brushing against your shoulder blades. He ran one hand across your collarbone and then down your clothed stomach. "This will be fun, I promise."

"I don't doubt that," you breathed, goosebumps starting to rise in the wake of his fingertips as your eyes closed, "it's just a bit awkward, watching myself."

"No.." Charles cooed, his fingers gliding back to where they came from, tracing along the swell of your breast, the feeling of it causing him to take a sharp inhale. "You're beautiful, please, look at you."

When they found their way to your nipples, which were already pert under his touch, your eyes finally fluttered open. A soft, almost indiscernible grunt leaving your already parted lips. "You're so excited already, and I've barely touched you." He said, a cocky grin slipping to his lips as he pinched at one of them absentmindedly. You let out a quiet yelp and your back can't help but arch into the touch, "More, please." coming from your lips.

Nearly every time he heard you say that, he would oblige. Right now was one of those times. Charles slid his hand down, slipping it under your shirt; fingertips gliding across your flesh, "So soft." He remarked, his voice becoming more thick the closer his hand got to cupping around your breast. Where he kneaded, his fingers melding to your skin deliciously. You gave off another soft grunt, your thighs wriggling in an attempt to rub them together. "Oh, feeling needy today?"

You were tempted to roll your eyes but decided against it, not wanting to thwart any chances of getting what you now desperately wanted. He took notice of your self restraint so he rewarded you by snaking his hand down and into the hem of your spandex shorts, the ones he loved so much. Charles was met immediately with the feel of your already slick folds. "No underwear, mon lapinou?" (my bunny).

All you could do was nod your head and look at his reflection with a pleading look as the pad of his middle finger circled in the slick you produced. "Use your words." His voice was a gentle coo urging you on.

"No underwear." You confirmed with a shaky voice "Please, Charles, you're driving me crazy."

"You drive me crazy all the time," he said "perhaps this is payback." The same smirk glued to his lips from before as he moved his finger up and down gently against your clit. "Fine," he huffed "I'll give you what you want though." It was partly for you, but also selfish reasons. He was eager to watch the show you were about to provide for no one but him; the thought of it intoxicating him relentlessly.

Without another word, he's tugging your shorts down and allowing you to step out of them before he dramatically, and honestly, a bit comically threw them to the side. Not giving a single care to where they went, tunnel visioned on nothing but making full use of the mirror.

Next, Charles started to pull the leather arm chair that was skewed beside the couch to sit in front of the mirror; patting his legs with a look to you. “Take off your shirt and come sit on my lap.”

Finally finding courage and clarity through swirling vestiges of lust, you purred a simple "Yes, papà."

Something you didn't call him often. Something you saved in your back pocket for when you really wanted to rile him up. A special treat, for a very special man.

One "Oh, Gesù Cristo." (Jesus Christ) and you knew it had worked. Perfect.

Charles' pupils blow wide and stuck to your hands that were now removing the last remaining piece of clothing. Your eyes, however, were settled on the wet patch that had formed on his shirt, almost the very instant that you had called him the name he loved so much. "Do you like what you see, papà?" You asked, metaphorically poking the sleeping bear.

"Love what I see," he said, beckoning you closer "but I'd love to see what you look like with my fingers inside you a little bit more, come here. Please." Near the end of the sentence, his voice was almost a whine. Giving away just how much he wanted to feel your body against his. You weren't cruel, and to be fair you wanted this just as bad as he did. So you were doing as you were told for the second time this evening. You clambered to settle in his lap and he was quick to adjust your legs. Spreading them impossibly wide with rough hands, your breath already beginning to bait at the implication alone.

Then Charles did something that left your cheeks burning; he spread apart your folds. His mouth fell open as he gazed at the sight in the mirror, admiring your beauty. “Look at that," he swooned, "so pretty. So fucking gorgeous.”

Feeling sheepish from being so exposed, you tried to turn your head and bury it inside the crook of his neck but there was absolutely no way he was going to let that happen. With his other hand he grabbed your chin, not hard enough to actually hurt you but hard enough to make you look; forcing your gaze to where his fingers held open his prize. "See? What did papà say?" He said, his tone scolding yet still warm "So pretty."

Your hips wriggled in his lap, a futile attempt to grind back against the now achingly hard length that was flush against his stomach. Trying to urge him on, to do anything else besides continue to wordlessly look at you like he was going to swallow you whole.

"I'm speaking to you, mon lapinou." Charles tsked, his index finger now circling around your entrance, "don't be rude."

Realizing you didn't have another option, you couldn’t be shy now that you had opened this can of worms with one simple name, you managed to parrot him “So pretty.” Followed by a choked and begging “Please, touch me.”

“Good girl.” He cooed, simple and sweet before he was plunging one finger into your depths; a soft, languid moan falling from your lips. If your vision had been any more clouded, you might have missed the way his eyes nearly rolled back at the sound alone.

Charles’ grip tightened on your chin, keeping your focus steady to where he was now slowly, but surely drawing his finger out, and then back in at an excruciatingly slow pace. Enough to give you what you want but not getting ahead of himself just yet. His eyes dipped closed for only a moment as he leaned forward to pepper gentle kisses to your shoulder. When his eyes open he had to still all of his movements for a moment, genuinely fearing he might cum in his pants at the very sight of you perched in his lap. Your lips parted, legs spread, arousal dripping down his wrist. It was enough to make him weak.

You let out needy whines, hips bucking against his hand, urging him silently. Charles chuckled and obliged, slowly pumping a second digit into your tight heat. “That’s it, ma belle. Let me make you feel good.” He purred, his accent becoming more evident the more he lost himself in the sight. He watched, ever intently, entranced by the way you fell apart under his touch — filthy, breathless moans tumbling from your lips like a leaky faucet.

Charles’ deft fingers continued their filthy dance, pumping in and out of your dripping core, his thumb coming to circle your throbbing clit. Your breaths come in short and labored gasps, chest heaving as you started to lean back against him, pleasure washing over your body. Your hips began to stutter and he made the executive decision to remove his other hand from your chin so he could use it to press them back down against him — spreading your thighs even further. “Oh fuck!” You gasped, a choked moan as he was able to pump his fingers even deeper. Your eyes fluttered shut in ecstasy, head falling back to his shoulder. He tilted his own to capture your lips in a searing kiss, tongue immediately dipping into your warm mouth to taste your sweetness.

Charles fingers continued to work, curling them just right. He stroked against the sensitive spot inside of you that made you see stars. A loud and wanton mewl is ripped through your throat, forcing you to pull away from the kiss so you could throw your head back against his shoulder. Obscene wet sounds filled the room as he began to finger-fuck you even harder, reveling in the way your smooth walls fluttered around him. Finally, you manage to pick your head up from his shoulder so you can look into the mirror. Blood rushes down between your thighs as the scene before you comes to view.

A third finger came to play and you were a goner. He reveled in the way your smooth, velvety walls pulsed around him. You became a whimpering mess, your mouth falling open as he met your gaze in the mirror. His eyes were dark and you could see he was holding himself back from just shoving you onto the floor and fucking you into oblivion. It made your eyes roll back, a slow moan of “Charles!” accompanying it.

“You’re close, I can tell.” He says, his voice course but somehow also boastful; knowing he’s the one who knows how to make you come undone like this, writhing in his lap like a first rate whore. One of the ways he can tell is now, how your moans grow even louder, higher pitched. Your hips started to buck against his hand frantically as you babbled “Yes, yes, yes!” over and over in his ear.

“That’s it, amore.” Charles encouraged you, voice husky in your ear. He gritted his teeth, “Cum all over my fingers, pretty girl. Come on, that’s it.”

It was enough for you, it was always enough for you. To hear him commanding you to cum. Like a sleeper agent only activated by a carefully constructed phrase. So with a loud and keening cry, your entire body seized. Thighs clamping around Charles’ wrist, a gush of liquid splashing against his hand and soaking his fingers. It dripped down the leather chair and onto the floor. His eyes widened in shock — you had never done that before. Charles could practically feel his chest swell with pride, satisfied smirk etched on his face. The puddle on the floor in front of you serving as a physical reminder to him of just how well he had done.

Somehow he managed to keep himself composed, grunting as he continued to pump his fingers, coaxing every wave of your orgasm. “Jesus, fuck! Baby!” He growled in appreciation, never ceasing his fingers movements until you were collapsing back, breathlessly, against his chest.

Slowly, he withdrew his fingers and brought them to his lips. You could only watch, mesmerized, when he sucked them clean. A deep moan rose from his throat that reverberated around his fingers. “Delicious,” he said, pulling them from his mouth with a satisfied hum. Charles can barely even hold himself back now, his cock straining against fabric as he stared at the ethereally erotic display before him. You panted, legs shaking from the orgasm he had given you. "Enough of that, mon cherie. I need to be inside of you."

He doesn't give you any time to respond before he is standing, and in one swift motion bending you over the side of the chair. Your face is pressed into the cool leather, your gaze stuck on the reflection of the two of you in the mirror. You didn't mind it being stuck there now, the aftershocks of how good he had made you feel helped your guard come down. And now all you could do was stare at him in the mirror, Charles missed it because he was quick to push both his pants and boxers down, settling himself behind you. You arched your back further and wiggled your hips, a giggle escaping as you presented your glistening pussy for him. He let out a low groan, hands roaming over your ass and up your back. "Fuuuck, look at that." Charles said, taking a moment to admire the view, slowly stroking himself a few times.

Positioning himself behind you, finally, he rubs the tip of his cock across your slick folds, teasing at your entrance. And then without warning, he sheathes himself fully inside of you with one powerful thrust. A long and low moan escapes both of your lips, a sweet symphony of soprano and tenor. Your hands grip onto the leather arm of the chair, trying to ground yourself into reality.

But it's hard. Really hard. Especially when he starts to set a steady rhythm, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in. Setting a primal pace that leaves the both of you gasping in pleasure. His pelvis slaps forward against your ass with each and every powerful thrust -- each one driving you forward just a little bit more. Your eyes are half-lidded now, heavy with lust. But you will them to stay open. You can see everything in the mirror. The ecstacy etched in your furrowed brows, the bounce of your ass with every jolt of his hips, and his muscles flexing subtly as he fucked into you at a relentless pace. Hands down the hottest thing you had ever been privy to witness.

Another thing you're keen to notice is the way he's so focused on not losing himself. For a man so ready to fuck you in front of a mirror, it sure seemed like he couldn't handle it anymore. Evident by the way his head was thrown back, curses of your name tumbling from his lips over and over. Your eyes begin to roll, overwhelmed by the pleasure and the knowledge that you were the one who made this usually so confident and domineering man feel like this.

Almost as if he could sense your thoughts, his head comes back forward, his hands gripping tightly onto your ass now. "You like this, non?" It comes out with a quiet grunt "You like when I fuck you like this?"

When you're not answering as quickly as he'd like, he's suddenly bringing one hand down to slap against your ass harshly. You let out a yelp that turns into a pathetically pleasured whine, "Yes, Charles! Feels so good!"

Charles rubs his hand along where it had previously struck, soothing the angry flesh. "Good girl," he cooed through gritted teeth "milking this cock so good." One of his hands abandons its grip on your ass to reach and rub tight circles against your clit. It sends cascading shockwaves of bliss pulsing through your bones. Determined to make you cum again, he says "Come on, baby. Cum all over this cock," Charles can feel you tightening around him, your moans growing more insistent and drawn out "I want to feel you." He clenched his jaw, eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

He leans forward and loops an arm under you to palm at one of your breasts, rolling a nipple between his fingers as he pounds into you. The new angle allowing him to hit that spot inside of you. His thrusts grow even more erratic, teeth grazing the sensitive skin against your neck -- rapidly chasing his own release. The thought of him cumming, the look on his face, it was too much. You cried out his name and your walls rhythmically pulsed around his cock as you came for the second time this evening. It was his Achilles' heel. Charles' snapped his hips one final time, burying himself deep as he possibly could. There was a long and low grunt that bellowed from his throat as he emptied himself inside of you, both arms wrapping around your middle to hold you close to him.

There was a long moment where the both of you just stayed like that. Your heart rates coming back to normal, still joined together. "You are incredible. The sounds you make, how you take me..." Charles' praises you softly, his thumb running along your swollen lower lip "c'est magnifique. I love you." He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder before he pulls out, slow and careful. Watching as his release trickles from you, a wolfish grin spreads across his lips, but you're momentarily displeased. A whimper bubbles from your lips, wishing he could just stay inside of you forever.

You unfurled your body from it's position across the chair, trying to keep your thighs clamped together as best as you could, "I love you, too."

Before you can even blink, Charles is by your side, giving you his arm so he could walk you to the bathroom. He was sweet like that. Always making sure that he took the best care of you after he had done sacrilegious things to your body.

Together, you made your way down the hallway. Albeit, you had to practically waddle to ensure you didn't spill on the floors you had just so meticulously cleaned hours before.

"Maybe we could just keep the mirror there?" He looked over at you to suggest, cheeky grin in tow. Amusing suggestion from someone who just said that it was taking up too much space.

You laughed and then grimaced, your hand flying between your legs "Please, don't make me laugh right now, Charles."

[captainlunaxmen]

Meet cute

Sirius Black x Fem!reader

Context ⚠️

I got this idea completely out of nowhere.

I watched "we live in time" trailer and picture this. I changed Andrew Garfield's character in Remus to fit the fandom, but Florence Pugh's character's name is the same. Also, I still haven't watched the movie, so this is not a crossover except for her name.

That being said, I hope you'll like it, and please let me know what you think 🙏 ❤️

Summary: Remus is adamant about finding his best friend a love match. Thankfully, his girlfriend helps him out.

Warnings: none, I think.

"I'm not trying to set you up with anyone." Remus laughs as he leads, more like drags, his best friend to the building where a party's supposed to be.

"I know you, Remus." Y/n glares at him, even though he's not looking at her. "You do the same thing when you try to play cupid for me."

"Not true!" He defends.

"That's so true." She insists, "and let me tell you... not a great job, mate."

"Okay... okay... I admit, my friends weren't exactly the perfect match, that's why I stopped playing cupid" he agrees, but Y/n could sense something was off.

"C'mon, Remus, you promised not to set me up with one of your friends anymore." She complains as she's literally dragged by Remus, up to the roof of the building.

"I promise I'm not setting you up with one of my friends, cross my heart." He tells her, genuinely.

Y/n and Remus have been friends since... well, since always, they know each other like the back of their hands, so Y/n lets out a relieved sigh when he says that.

"That's a relief." She replies, not putting up a fight anymore and simply follows the guy upstairs.

"I promised you after all," he says opening the door for Y/n, and it's when he closes it that he adds, "he's actually Almut's friend."

"What?" Y/n exclaims, wanting to turn around and just leave, but Remus' hands on her shoulder prevent her from going any further.

"You made it!" Almut's cheerful voice makes Y/n glares at the man in front of her.

"Hi!" She turns, accepting Almut's hug.

"I'm so happy to see you!" Her best friend's girlfriend cheers.

"So am I... I hope." Y/n hesitantly smiles.

"Oh..." the blonde realises, then confirms after seeing the guilty expression on her boyfriend, "you figured it out, didn't you?"

"Have you met your boyfriend?" I joke, "not exactly subtle."

"I did fool you for a second." He once again defends himself.

"I told you I should've taken her here myself." Almut accuses and takes Y/n's arm to lead her more into the party, "I promise you, no pressure. Just meet him."

"Do I really have to?" Y/n asks, already given up her chance of going back home.

"Yap." She answers, "Sirius! Come here, will you?"

"I'm just gonna introduce myself and that's it." Y/n warn both Almut and Remus, "and. That's. It."

"Yes, fine, amazing." Almuta dismisses her focusing her attention on her friend talking over to them, "Sirius! Hey!"

"Hey! Good to see you!" Sirius cheerfully greet her with a side hug, "Remus, nice to see you too, mate, how are you?"

"I'm great, thanks, uh... this is Y/n, my best friend, Y/n this is Sirius."

"Nice to meet you." Sirius smiles brightly at her and holds out his hands for Y/n to shake, whish she does.

"Nice to meet you too." She replies with a smile, now taking in his appearance. She mentally curses Remus because he knows she always liked long haired men. She breaks eye contact, Remus notices her reluctance in having a conversation so he decides to take charge of the situation.

"So," he starts to rumble about some documentary he watched, everyone saying their opinions, interested in Remus' documentary. Surprisingly so.

Remus and Almut notice how their friends finally talk to each other, among them, but it's still victory in their mind.

The party goes on all afternoon, everyone having a great time, it's when the sun starts to go down that the roof slowly gets emptier and emptier. Only a few people left.

Almut and Remus by the ledge talking with each other, watching Y/n and Sirius as they talk in one of the sofas.

"I... I don't know how to say this," Sirius starts, nursing his almost empty glass, "but I think they're trying to set us up." He slightly nods to the couple not so far from them.

"You think?" Y/n laughs, "they're not that subtle."

"Well, I wasn't suspecting anything untill I saw how they're watching us." He admits.

"Really? Remus has been suspicious all morning." The girl chuckles, taking a sip of her drink.

"How?"

"First of all, you have to know that he's been trying forever to play Cupid. He introduced me to countless friends, so I learned to catch hints." She explains, Sirius listening closely to her, "when he wants to genuinely introduce me to a new friend, he goes like this.'They're amazing. You need to meet them.' But when he wants to introduce me, hoping to find love, he goes 'just wait till you meet them, you two are going to get along perfectly.' Emphasis on 'you two'." She laughs again, earning a smile from Sirius, "has Almut ever set you up with anyone?"

"Never, I'm unfortunately very picky, so she never tried," he says, but catches himself once her chuckle makes him realise what he said, "now I sound like an asshole, I promise it's not like that."

"It's okay," she laughs, "how is it then?"

"I'm just very protective of my heart." He simply answers, Y/n nods understanding.

"You don't want to be hurt again, the first time was more than enough, uh?"

"Exactly like that, "he softly nods, "are you the same?"

"I'm afraid so." She nods too, "I definitely wouldn't want experience that same pain again."

"May I ask?" Sirius tries, he doesn't want to pressure, he understands her pain, like she does his.

"Well," she chuckles, "this is usually a fifth date conversation."

"Fifth?" He asks and Y/n nods, "I'll look forward to it then."

Y/n looks at him, his sweet smile gretting her. She sees honesty in his eyes, she's a little taken aback, but feels comfort in them. She feels peace.

"Are... are you flirting with me?" She asks, confused, "I'm not good at noticing if someone does..."

"Do you want me to?" He smirks, but it's not a teasing smirks, it's playful.

"Uh..." Y/n chuckles and breaks eye contact, not being able to stop the smile on her face.

Y/n and Sirius clearly forgot about the two pairs of eyes watching them.

"Look! Look how she's smiling!" Remus nudges his girlfriend.

"And loom at how he looks at her!" Almut cheerfully points out.

"I think we did a great job." Remus says, "I really hope this time is the one. She deserves to be loved."

"So does he. He's been through so much, some happiness is what he needs." Almut agrees.

"This is the first time she looks like she's actually enjoying herself." The brunette sighs content, "I don't know how it never happened before."

"Because you tried to set her up on your own." She grins, "you didn't have me."

"That's right."He agrees hugging her, "we make a great team, don't we?"

"The best."

[demonslayedher]

Low-Key Married AU fluff

Kochou said that I was disliked, so I asked her if she disliked me too. For someone so quick to have a smiling response to everything, she struggled to reply. She was the one who proposed marriage and swayed me, so I had thought that meant she had feelings for me. There would be no other way to read it. However, with as unbothered as she is by my absence, I have to wonder.

It’s been ten days since I had last contact with her. I went home to the Butterfly Mansion, but she had just departed for a mission, so I didn’t stay long so as not to trouble the girls. It may still be a few days before I can return again, but it’s always likely she’ll be busy. She’s incredible in that way, taking on all the care of our injured Corp members in addition to her Pillar missions. It must be in her personality to keep adding to what keeps her busy, like taking me in as though I looked like I needed the care. Although the times we’ve spent together have been nice, I don’t require it. My duties call for me to always be ready for battle, and I’ve always kept my heart steady.

So has she. We are Pillars first, and no amount of affection can sway us—whether an abundance or a lack.

I’m not bothered by lacking something I didn’t deserve in the first place.

Last night again, I was too late to prevent a family from being slaughtered. There were no survivors this time, aside from the eldest child who was still ravenous with a recent transformation. Having to chase him down and keep him from harming anyone else kept me off the trail of the progenitor of demons, who had to have been close by. For centuries, he’s evaded us this way over and over, sacrificing entire families to throw us off his trail. If I were to chide myself over every failure, I would have lost the ability to do anything ages ago. Each time, the anger is something I carry with me, to push myself harder the next time, and the next. Any extent more that I can push myself may be the difference to someone’s survival, no one can afford to lose their life over any of my own lost confidence.

“CAW!! TOMIOKA GIYUUUU! NEWS FOR TOMIOKA GIYUUUU!”

Each time it's a crow I think I recognize, my stomach drops. My mind is already playing the words I dread to hear, as though trying to protect my mind once I someday hear them.

"Kochou Shinobu has died."

Even if I hear them, I'm a Pillar first. That was what we promised each other. I'll always do as I must.

The crow says nothing as it delivers a letter.

YES, YES, I KNOW, THIS FANDOM HAS TURNED ME INTO SHIPPER TRASH. For this pairing, it was more specifically my own joke AU which later bit me in the back and made me start really, really enjoying GiyuShino (which, for the record, I do not consider canon). Was throwing ideas back and forth with @reicchel again the other day and so here we are with ship content!

Part of the reason I love the Low-Key Married AU (in which it's mostly canon as usual, except that Shinobu and Giyuu have been married for over a year or so, and it's not a secret but they make such little deal about it that many people don't even know they're married) is that it's a frame through which to see every interaction and either make it really, really funny, or very, very, sad. Everything was supposed to be funny, but it keeps hurting, hahaha... aaahhhh.

For instance, in a regular romcom situation, it should be funny that Kanzaburo doesn't deliver all of Giyuu's letters. Knowing these two, who might had started this whole "well, we'll be a couple when we have time" thing by actively writing regular letters, this could had simply given the impression that the other person wasn't writing as much, so they both naturally decreased frequency to match. It's a little lonely, but neither one is going to push the other for more attention.

No!! I refuse to let this post end with angst! Time for omake!!!

[rey-jake-therapist]

I want to start off by saying I love your page and I’m dying to know your thoughts on this. It’s a little long so bear with me please. :)

We know that at this point in TROP the door between Galadriel and Sauron’s mind is still open. That her saying “The door is shut” could’ve been for dramatic effect with that kick.

But it got me thinking, why didn’t Sauron block that kick then? He’s demonstrated before how easily he was able to counter her attacks with minimal effort. So why was it different this time? Then she was able to slice his cheek and it clicked for me.

When looking back on their whole fight, I don’t think Galadriel really had a plan. She knows she can’t kill him, disarming him won’t be enough, and trying to distract him from the rings would be ridiculous because she has them! I think she is just so pissed that she doesn’t care about anything else and only wants to show him the anger she has towards herself and at him for even having been in her life.

When they have that brief moment before continuing the fight, it felt to me that Galadriel arrived to a new found realization after hearing his next words.

“I know your mind. The door is still open,” He said to her.

I believe she was reminded of her own words from before,

“He knows my mind….And I know his. Which is why I must face him. Why I alone can slay him”

Therefore when she declares “The door is shut.” I believe it is actually in reference to something that we wouldn’t initially think of.

In truth I believe she shut the door that had allowed him to enter her heart and locked it up tight so he could never see her deepest hopes and desires again. Effectively blocking him from her vulnerability, not her conscious mind.

(Then we get to the moment where she kicks him in the face which was so satisfying tbh. I’m hoping that in season 3 that we will be given a clearer understanding of this ‘Mind Palace’ that they share.)

That statement marks a definitive shift in their fight. She’s much more precise and has a purpose for each attack. I believe this might be why Sauron didn’t block that kick to the face, he not only didn’t expect her to do that, he wasn’t even able to anticipate her attacks now because he was still “play” fighting. When she slices his cheek that’s when he stops playing around and we see how quickly he “ended” their fight.

I think this theory is further supported by the fact that we literally saw how Sauron was telepathically talking to her (was literally in her mind!) and still didn’t see a thought or intention to fall off the cliff cross her mind.

He no longer has access to her vulnerability and heart, because she closed that chapter on their story from before to allow a new one to begin. One where she is the Lady of Light, he the Dark Lord and how they will always be connected.

Thank you so much for your nice words !

I think it's a great analysis of the fight scene. I think I realized that before but had never put it into words before, even in my mind, but you're probably right about the meaning that Galadrel gave to these words ! I think the fandom at large takes this claim "the door is shut" way too seriously, because it was said in the heat of the moment, when she was angry and determined to cut him off her life (and indeed, her heart) for good. She had no idea what would happen next. Sauron hadn't stabbed her with Morgoth's crown and gained a direct line to her mind yet. He had never telepathically talked to her or anyone else before, so there has to be a connection imho.

I may have a slight disagreement about your conclusion regarding Galadriel's fall, though. I'm actually very much convinced that Galadriel didn't pretend that she was going to give Sauron Nenya, precisely because since he had access to her mind, she shouldn't have been able to do that. I think he really had a hold on her for a few minutes, thanks to the bond he had just created.

And it's exactly why, imho, he didn't anticipate what she would do : because he was sure that the connection worked, and that he had her. It's not the first time that Sauron was too sure of himself, and it won't be the last. She very suddenly found the will in her to snap out of it, and there was not enough time between the moment he realized what was happening, and the moment Galadriel let her fall off the cliff, for him to react fast enough to grab her hand.

She managed to catch him by surprise because he was, indeed, not expecting it all. I think it could also be related to the probable fact that the notion of "self-sacrifice" is completely alien to Sauron : he would never do that, so he can't fathom the idea that anyone would. Basically, his lack of empathy could be what caused him to lose control of the situation, and to let her fall.

[nowritingonthewall]

Let me take your hand

Fandom: Star Wars

Character(s): modern!AU Poe, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron

Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Summary: Sometimes all you need to make the pain a little more bearable is someone to take your hand, hold you gently, kiss you softly and tell you that they love you.

Words: 6900

Warnings: Hurt/comfort with a lot of hurt (!) in the beginning, aftermath of losing a parent (please please please don’t read if you fear that you might not be able to bear reading this!), reader celebrates Christmas, kind of spoilery if you haven’t read “Free Fall”

A/N: This was supposed to be a cute little spin-off of another Christmas story that spiralled completely out of control. 2023 was the third Christmas with this story living rent free in my mind and I was really determined to finally write and finish it this time before becoming really sick for two months. Even though it’s nearly Easter I hope that maybe one or two of you might still like it <3

As always, I apologize for not being a native speaker.

Christmas used to be Poe’s favourite time of the year.

There were presents, bright sparkling lights all over the city, the smell of freshly baked cookies, joyful songs on the radio, people being so much kinder than usual, chocolate glazed koyo berries and most importantly: both of his parents would be at home. Because Christmas was sacred.

Sure, presents were nice and everything, but sneaking into his parents’ bedroom before dawn on Christmas Morning, cuddling up to them under their warm blankets, lying safe and snug between them in a huge loving hug sandwich, knowing that for once there was no rush to get up and nothing to worry about because the day belonged to no one but their family?

There was nothing in Poe’s whole world that would ever be able to beat that.

Christmas was his favourite thing in the entire universe.

Even his very first memory was created on Christmas Eve. Shara and Kes would dance together at every possible (and impossible) opportunity they got, but that very first dance in the light of their Christmas tree on Christmas Eve was special.

It was as special to them as the song that had to accompany their dance: 'Let Me Take Your Hand' by Hera and the Rebels.

It was the song that had played on an old record player when they had met in an airplane hangar for the very first time. It had played when they had shared their first kiss, when Kes had proposed to his beloved Shara, when they had their first dance at their wedding, and when Shara had told Kes with happy tears in her eyes that they were going to be parents.

Music like a tender hug wrapping its loving arms around you, caressing your soul and soothing your heart, leaving you feeling like nothing in the world could ever hurt you.

Would you let me take your hand

And hold you gently

And kiss you softly

If I said I loved you

That Christmas Eve, as his parents began to sway in tune with the first few bars of the old forty-five crackling over the loud speakers, little Poe had no idea that he had just become part of a very long and love-filled Dameron Christmas tradition.

He was simply the happiest little boy, cuddled against his Dad’s chest, who held him gently yet safely close to his heart. With his Mom taking his hands in hers and making funny faces at him while singing along to the music, his eyes sparkled even brighter than the lights of the Christmas decorations around him.

As soon as the song was over, he wiggled his tiny feet and clapped his little hands in excitement, squealing giddily, “‘gain pwease!”

And his parents didn’t mind at all. With the record playing over and over again, they took turns kissing each other and placing the softest of kisses on their son’s forehead, cooing how much they loved him.

Poe couldn’t get enough of it.

On his eighth Christmas Eve, as Poe clung to Shara’s leg during their dance, he decided that part of him couldn’t wait to grow up and find his special someone to dance to their song. He vividly imagined how he would look at them the same way as Kes was looking at Shara.

Of course, his parents would still be there and enjoy dancing right next to him. He would do a show of being embarrassed when his Mom would try to ruffle his hair, because for some weird reason, grown-ups were supposed to hate it, even though he wouldn’t actually mind at all. And his Mom and Dad would love you nearly as much as he would and his parents would be so happy for their son to carry on their Christmas tradition.

If only he had known. If only he had known that this would be the very last Christmas with his Mom. Maybe he would have clung to her a little tighter, maybe he wouldn’t have nicked quite so many Christmas cookies, maybe he would have told her how much he loved her just one more time.

But then again, if he had known, it probably wouldn’t have been the most wonderful Christmas ever or the last time that he could remember his Dad looking truly happy before everything changed forever.

Only a year later it was hard to believe that any of those beautiful memories had been real at all.

Despite his insurmountable grief, Kes had tried his best to make this Christmas as magical for his son as it used to be. It was just that he had never quite gotten the hang of how Shara had always managed to make the Christmas tree and their apartment look so beautiful and festive and welcoming. And no matter how many Christmas lights he would string or how many candles he would light, it seemed like all their warmth and brightness had left when Shara did.

It was the night before their first Christmas without his Mom when Poe woke up to the most desperate stifled sobs coming from the living room. Full of worry, he stumbled out of bed and through the flat, the sinking feeling in his tummy growing heavier with each step of his bare feet on the ice cold floor tiles.

When he reached the door to the living room, the picture unfolding in front of him nearly tore is heart apart: The hunched over figure of his Dad lying under the Christmas tree, face hidden behind his hands, crying so violently his whole body was shaking.

Before even being able to form a single coherent thought, Poe had already crouched down on the floor right next to his Dad, trying to pull him into a hug – just like he knew his Mom would have done to comfort him.

His arms didn’t quite reach all the way around the package that his Dad had folded himself into but Poe tried to make up for it by pouring all the softness and warmth and tenderness from his big little heart into his words when he said, “I love you, Daddy! It’s gonna be okay!”

His Dad didn’t react. So Poe tried again, squeezing him even tighter this time but all it drew from Kes was another heart-wrenching sob.

But Poe wasn’t going to give up that easily. After all, just because his Mom wasn’t here with them in person, it didn’t mean that she didn’t celebrate Christmas with them. And if she was looking down at them from her cloud in Heaven among all the most beautiful angels in the universe (because there was no doubt for Poe, that’s exactly where his Mom would be), it would surely break her heart to see her two boys crying on Christmas Eve. And he couldn’t let his Mom down, could he? Not at Christmas.

And there was one thing left to try.

Hurrying over to the record player, he found what he was looking for exactly where his Mom had stored it away neatly last year. Ever so carefully, as if handling the most precious item in the world, he let the record slide out of its sleeve and placed it on the turntable. Slowly and gently, just like his Mom had taught him, he lowered the tone arm before turning back to his Dad.   

With the first few soft sounds floating across the room, Kes finally raised his head, looking up to where his son stood, holding out his hand for his Dad. As he slowly got on his feet, Poe took a step towards him and tried his best to put on a brave smile, his eyes encouraging and full of hope.

Kes looked at his son. And he looked at the record player. Then he walked straight past his son and with a cry of agony that made Poe stumble backwards with a start, Kes tore the record off the turntable and threw it to the ground with enough force to break it into a thousand pieces. Yet they were nothing compared to the millions of pieces that little Poe’s heart shattered into at this very moment.

As his father stormed out of the room, Poe kept staring at the broken remnants of the last happy memory of his family. Trying to understand what on earth had just happened. What had he done wrong?

Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was the confusion, but he didn’t even notice how he began to shiver as the cold crawled up from the floor over his bare feet and under his thin pyjamas. Until he could no longer tell whether the numbness creeping into his heart and soul came from the cold or the growing ache in his chest. He had never felt more lost or lonely in his entire life.

For the briefest of moments, he wondered whether it would be possible to glue the pieces back together again. But as he knelt down and began to pick them up slowly, one by one, that last flicker of hope was extinguished quickly.

As he pondered over what to do, he spotted the stack of Christmas napkins that his Mom had bought last year, after Poe had insisted that the teddy bear pictured on them looked just like his beloved plushie Mr. Beebs. He had spent hours sitting right next to her, learning how to fold them into the most intricate shapes, just like his Mom had done, until he had declared excitedly that his Mom would never have to worry about folding a set of napkins for their guests ever again because now she had Poe to take care of that. Taking one of the napkins from the stack now, he could vividly remember the fondness in her eyes as her smile had outshone his proud little grin.

After spreading the napkin out on the floor, he piled the pieces of the record up onto it, carefully and gently, until even the tiniest of pieces had been accounted for. Looking around the room for something to tie the napkin bundle up with, his gaze fell upon Mr. Beebs sitting on the couch with his tiny bow tie around his neck. It didn’t seem right to take it, but Poe apologized to his teddy and promised that he would only borrow it for a little while.

Having the napkin tied neatly together, he got up off the floor, taking one last look at the Christmas tree. A source of warmth and comfort for as long as he could remember, its lights and decorations almost seemed like they were mocking him now. As his eyes began to wander along its branches, his gaze came to rest on the star at the top of the tree.

“I am sorry, Mommy,” he whispered.  

As Poe held the napkin bundle gently against his heart, the tears began to fall. Unseen and in silence, yet hot and burning.

He was still clutching the little bundle to his chest when he found himself crying quietly in his bed a little later. He held it even tighter when he could hear the soft footsteps of his father approaching.

“Poe?” Kes’ voice was so gentle, it was barely audible to his son.

“Poey, sweetheart… I am sorry! I am… I am so so so sorry!”

Staring at the wall in front of him, Poe couldn’t see how his father’s tears over losing the love of his life had turned into tears over the fear of losing his son. He couldn’t see how his father reached out his hand towards him, only to hesitate at the very last moment, too afraid that he would just make things worse.

He couldn’t see how Kes longed for nothing more than to hug Poe close to his heart and never let him go again, desperate to find a way to comfort his son without subjecting him to his own soul crushing pain.

All he could see, over and over again, was that moment when his father walked right past him to smash their record to pieces.

His father didn’t want to take his hand.

Determined that he didn’t want Kes to see him cry, Poe pulled the covers over his head. And just like he had wrapped the napkin around the broken pieces of the record, Poe could feel something else wrapping itself around his heart. Not nearly as gentle and careful, but way harder and tighter and indefinitely more painful.

His father didn’t want to take his hand.

It was the last time that either of them acknowledged the song. It was the last time that music was played in the Dameron household.

And Poe never danced again.

Sometimes he would dream of it, though. Holding someone in his arms and swaying to the soft rhythm of a melody while waiting for Christmas cookies to bake in the oven or the first coffee of the day to finish brewing. But it never felt quite right. As soon as that longing ache would make itself known, he would shove it back to where it came from. Burying it a little deeper every time. After all, life was not a flipping Disney Christmas movie.

Yet there was a part of him that never stopped trying to find the song again. Even more so during that time of the year. Whether it was at the Christmas markets or at the shops, as soon as the softest sound of music could be heard anywhere, Poe would strain his ears hoping against hope to hear that comforting familiar tune just one more time.

Now and then he would hum the melody to himself, especially in those moments when he missed his Mom even worse than usual.

More than once he found himself sliding into a panic when he seemed to stumble over parts of the melody or he needed a little longer to remember some of the words. Every time that happened, he feared another piece of the memory of his Mom might slip away.

One night, after waking up in cold sweat again, he frantically scribbled down the lyrics onto the next best sheet of paper he could find as if they might be lost forever if he didn’t write them down this instant. After taking a few moments to catch his breath, he carefully folded the sheet and placed it into the little wooden box in his nightstand, which held the napkin bundle and the record sleeve.

Over the years, there were a few people that he tried to confide in but his attempts always ended up with him being made fun of. So he gave up those attempts too, burying his feelings deep under the growing pile of pain and ache and longing. They were obviously too silly to share them with anyone.

Not to you, though.

When Poe and you were about to spend your first Christmas together, it had been several years since he had bothered to put up any proper Christmas decorations at all. So when you asked him excitedly whether you could put them up together, he really did it more for you than for him.

Though he couldn’t deny that your enthusiasm was more than a little contagious. You turned the whole thing into a proper little event with Christmassy snacks and hot cocoa and festive music. After a while he found your joy so infectious that it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Feelings that he hadn’t associated with Christmas for a long, long time.

He even sent both of you into a fit of giggles and laughter after somehow managing to completely wrap himself in tinsel rather than the Christmas tree.

And then you threw him completely off balance with one seemingly innocent little question: “So what’s your favourite Christmas tradition?”

Before he could tumble off the chair he was standing on, however, his instincts kicked in, making him fall back onto his standard go to answer: Chocolate glazed koyo berries. “My father had this really amazing way of turning them into the most delicious…” he began.

But it just felt wrong. Of course he loved his father’s chocolate koyo berries, he actually used to love them a lot. But there was something else. As he looked into your warm and loving eyes, something long forgotten tried to force its way up from the deepest pits of his heart. And try as he might, it refused to be pushed back down again this time.

Determined to keep it together, he turned away from you, biting his lips until they hurt. He was not going to cry. He was not going to ruin everything again.

“Poe? Hey… sweetie, your hands are shaking…”

Squeezing his eyes shut with enough force to give him a headache, he could hear the confusion in your voice turning into worry.

“Oh Poe, I am sorry, I should have known that this might bring back painful memories, I really shouldn’t have asked, I am so sorry…”

Trying to stifle the wave of sobs demanding to be let out, he shook his head vigorously, still refusing to look at you.

“No no no, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just… it’s silly!” he choked up.

You paused for a moment before saying gently, “It doesn’t look like it’s silly to you?”

He didn’t resist when you took his trembling hands in yours and helped him to climb down from the chair. Not letting go, you carefully held them steady in your hands, drawing soothing circles on them with your thumbs, as Poe kept staring at the floor.

“You don’t have to tell me now, if it’s too much,” you tried to reassure him.

“No, I want to, I just…” Grunting in frustration, he broke away and began to rub at his eyes with the palms of his hands with increasing force as if the motion would somehow be able to rub those pesky and unwelcome feelings away.

Carefully taking his hands into yours once more, you slowly led them away from his eyes. As you cupped his face with your hands, tenderly caressing over his temples with your thumbs, he finally looked at you, revealing his sore eyes glistening with tears and all the pain and grief that lay beneath.

It broke your heart.

You hesitated, as you had to fight your own tears welling up inside of you now before asking softly, “Is this about your Mom?”

Poe nodded ever so slightly.

Your voice turned even softer. “Does it have anything to do with the little box you keep in your night stand?”

Of course you had seen the way that he looked at that box. You had seen how he would rest his hand on that box, how his expression would turn from soft to pained and to soft again. Now and then he had even seemed to be humming a soft little melody while gently caressing over the lid of the box. Yet despite all of your questions, it had never felt right to ask him about it before he was ready to open up to you.

Closing his eyes again, Poe took a few shaky breaths. Letting his fingers wander up your arms, until they came to rest on your hands still holding his face, he tried to ground himself, focussing his attention on you. Your kindness, your gentleness, your warmth.

“Do you really want to know?” he finally managed to ask before his voice broke again.

“I do,” you said gingerly. “Of course I do. But… I wouldn’t want you to feel like you’d have to tell me anything that you aren’t ready to share yet.”

Nodding slowly, he furrowed his brow, deepening the pained expression on his face. An even more overwhelming wave of sadness radiated from his eyes, spreading over his already grief-stricken features. He tried to open and shut his mouth a few times before giving up and taking you by the hand to lead you into the bedroom.

You knelt down on the floor right next to him while he opened the drawer of his nightstand to remove the little wooden box and carefully opened the lid, revealing its contents to you. You saw the record sleeve and the lyric sheet and the napkin bundle tied together with the bowtie borrowed from Poe’s old childhood teddy Mr. Beebs.

Taking a deep breath, Poe took the bundle out of the box and placed it on the floor in front of you, unwrapping it ever so carefully.

He hadn’t opened it in decades. The moment that the napkin came undone around the broken pieces of the record, the tight layer of repressed feelings and ignored pain and buried grief wrapped around his heart fell away with it. Until there was nothing left to hold back the swelling flood of tears.

As soon as the first desperate sob ripped through his body so violently that it threatened to take his breath away, you were there. Catching him, holding him, comforting him, sheltering him.

And Poe cried like he had never cried before.

“It’s not fair! It’s not flipping fair, it’s not… she should be here… she should still be here… here with us…”

Everything seemed to bubble up to the surface at once. Pain and anger and confusion and helplessness.

“I wanted to hug him, I… I just really needed to hug him and… and I wanted to, but… but… but I was too small and… and… how could he just smash it?”

You were barely able to make any sense of all his memory fragments and turbulent emotions that were demanding attention all at once, but that wasn’t important right now.

“He came to apologize that night but I couldn’t… I couldn’t… I didn’t want him to see me cry and I… I… I should have…”

As you held him gently in your arms, he clung desperately to you, sobbing helplessly against your shoulder.

“I just… I… I failed them. Both…”

“Oh, Poe,” you whispered as you buried your face in his curls. And even though you knew that he wouldn’t be ready to believe you yet, you added gently but firmly, “You didn’t fail anybody!”

Smoothing some damp curls from his forehead, you pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head, when a new wave of tears began to stream down his face. Hot and desperate tears that had never been given a chance to dry, burning in his heart during all those years.

And now you were kissing them away. Softly. Every single one of them, even tough they were replaced by fresh ones immediately. Until sheer exhaustion made him collapse into your embrace.

As you cradled the back of his head, steadying him against your chest, rocking him gently back and forth, you knew that it wasn’t just your boyfriend crying in your arms. You held the wounded little boy, who couldn’t understand. Who blamed himself without even knowing what he had done wrong. Who hurt so deeply and yet would rather take care of everybody else around him before tending to his own wounds.

“I am here for you, Poe,” you cooed gently, hugging him tight. “I love you!”

And for the first time in decades, it felt like a few of the million shattered pieces of his heart were beginning to heal.

Unbeknownst to Poe, you made it your year’s goal to find the song for him.

The fact that Poe hadn’t been able to find it in all those years despite all his efforts, not even in the endless vastness of the internet, didn’t deter you in the slightest. Or so you thought. At least for the first eleven months of the year.

By the time December came around again, you were so close to admitting defeat that Poe began to worry about what brought you so low, even fearing that he might have been the one dampening your mood with his lack of Christmas spirit.

So, in an attempt to make up for that, he suggested taking you to the annual charity Christmas bazaar at your local school, hoping that a little Christmassy shopping spree for charity and the sparkly atmosphere of the Christmas lights might cheer you up again.

You tried not to get your hopes up, you really did. But the moment that Poe popped off to the restrooms and you found yourself stranded in front of a stall with several boxes of old forty-fives, you had to start browsing, of course.

Sorting swiftly through the records, you had gone through at least fifty of them, when your brain gave you a little jolt. You stopped. Going backwards very slowly, you looked at each of them again until you got back to the forty-second one. You carefully removed the record from the box. You read the title on the sleeve. You stared at it in disbelief. And you read it again. You shook your head. You read the title a third time. And despite your best attempts to stay calm, you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a little scream that made the elderly gentleman behind the display ask in concern whether you were all right. It took every ounce of self restraint you could muster to keep yourself from throwing your arms around him and hug him until he turned blue. In the end, you hugged him anyway.

After handing the stall owner enough money to prompt him to ask you again whether you were all right, you hid the record in your bag and quickly hurried past the next few stalls, hoping not to give anything away.

You still weren’t able to keep the shine out of your eyes, though. Which Poe noticed immediately the minute that he caught up with you.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asked raising a confused eyebrow.

Letting out a happy sigh that you weren’t able to contain, you smiled, “I’m just really looking forward to Christmas!”

His gaze softened as he pulled you towards you, placing a tender kiss on top of your head. Gently rubbing your noses together, his smile grew wider until it painted crinkles around his eyes.

As he rested his forehead against yours, he whispered, “Me too!” And for the first time since what felt like forever, he actually meant it.

You spent the better part of the remainder of the run-up to Christmas trying to come up with the best possible plan to present the record to him. Should you simply hide it in a pile of other gifts in his stocking, should you make him close his eyes while you put the record on, should you wake him up with the music on Christmas Morning or maybe something completely different? In the end you decided that you would leave it up to Poe because the last thing you wanted was to overwhelm him in any way or even cause him more hurt.

When you found yourself cuddling with him on the couch on Christmas Eve, however, it became increasingly harder for you to remain patient until Christmas Morning.

Lying half atop on you, Poe had completely melted into your embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck, while you played with his hair. The ease and trust with which he relaxed in your arms melted your heart. You were just about to turn your head and place a gentle kiss to his temple, when he lifted his head.

“Are you okay, bups?” He asked, raising a worried eyebrow at you.

“Hmmm?” you mumbled a little absentmindedly. “Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re as tense as a loaded spring about to go off. And I mean that in a very non-euphemistic, sfw way. Although…” he wriggled his eyebrows, looking way too cute with his tousled hair curling itself into every possible direction, “I wouldn’t mind adding some ‘n’ into the mix a little later…”

You couldn’t help breaking into giggles, which made Poe grin in return. “That’s better,” he smiled, placing a sweet little kiss to your forehead before furrowing his brow again. “Wanna tell me why you are so nervous?”

You really hadn’t intended to spoil this peaceful moment but you also knew that Poe wouldn’t stop worrying until he knew what was up. With a heavy sigh, you reluctantly tried to wriggle yourself free from underneath Poe to sit up, drawing some grunts of protest and a pout from him.

“I have a little surprise for you.”

Humming in a slightly more relaxed tone, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you towards him again.

“And can we stay on the couch for that or do we have to transfer to the bedroom?”

You snorted, “I’ve clearly given you the wrong idea now.”

With another smile, you brushed a few stray curls from his forehead and left a soft kiss in their place.

“You can stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Getting up to fetch your little present from the hiding place in the bedroom, you swiftly returned and set down next to Poe before giving it to him.

It took a few moments for Poe to realize what he was holding in his hands. As they began to tremble, he couldn’t help but keep staring at the record.

“How… where did you…” he whispered.

You gently laid your hands on his before explaining softly, “Actually… you kind of led me to it yourself when you took me to the Christmas bazaar three weeks ago.”

He let out a small shaky laugh that turned into a soft sob.

You immediately began to rub his back in soothing circles, leaving tender kisses all over the side of his face until he began to lean into you.

“Would you like me to play it?” you asked him gently.

He slowly peeled his gaze away from the record to look at you. As his big brown puppy dog eyes began to sparkle, he slowly nodded as if in a daze. He had gotten so used to hearing the song only in his memory, had both dreaded and hoped for this moment over and over again. As you put the record on and the song began to float across the room, it felt too surreal for him to grasp.

The music sounded even softer than you had imagined it. And so much more comforting than Poe remembered.

It sounded like the warmth of his Mom’s hand caressing his face and his parents’ laughter and tickle fights and the smell of his Mom’s baking and Kes scooping him up to carry him on his shoulders and morning cuddles and running towards his parents’ embrace. Both of them holding out their hands for him.

Just like you did now.

“Dance with me?” you asked him softly. Warm and open and welcoming while still giving him all the room that he might need.

Poe’s tears fell more slowly this time. As you laid your arms around him, pulling him towards you, swaying both of you to the soft rhythm of the music, he didn’t fight the soft and shaky sobs that turned another layer of destructive pain and grief into hopeful feelings of comfort and familiarity and home.

His head found his place leaning on your shoulder as your cheek came to rest against his. You held him gently and at the same time so close that there seemed to be no room left for anything that might hurt him. And yet your embrace was so soft that he knew he could trust you with his wounded bare heart in your hands.

As he wept in your arms, you kept caressing over his curls, leaving a trail of soft kisses along his hairline until his tears began to mix with your own. The moment Poe noticed the wet streaks running down your face, his eyes widened in alarm and he quickly reached up to wipe your tears away. But you gently laid your hands on his and shook your head with a sparkly-eyed smile.

“Don’t worry about those, Poe. Not all tears are bad.”

And Poe’s eyes that had been sparkling with tears of pain and sorrow slowly began to sparkle with something else.

It might not have been quite what he had imagined the first time to be like. Dancing to his parents’ song in the light of the Christmas tree with his own special someone.

Yet as his sobs subsided to the gentle rhythm of your soft kisses to his face and your hands tenderly smoothing over his hair, right now in this moment, he felt like the luckiest person in the universe.

Except for one thing.

When he let out an involuntary sigh, you pressed one more kiss to the top of his head before asking, “Why don’t you call him? Ask him to come over for Christmas?”

“Who?” Poe raised his head in mild confusion.

“Your father?” you smiled.

“How did…” Trailing off and letting out another sigh, Poe began to shake his head. “Me and my father stopped doing Christmas years ago. I don’t even have his number.”

“Well, funny thing…”

As Poe began to raise his eyebrows, you allowed yourself to break into a mischievous little grin, making him smile through his tears.

“I spoke to Auntie Leia the other day, and…” you began.

“…she had his number and gave it to you?” Poe finished your sentence in only mild disbelief.

“Of course she did,” you nodded and smiled again. “I don’t know how but it’s like she knew.”

Poe shook his head, unable to suppress a soft giggle. “She always does.”

You hesitated a little before you asked him, “Did you know that your father keeps asking after you whenever he meets her?”

Sobering up immediately, Poe lowered his gaze to the ground, furrowing his brow. “No, I… I didn’t…”

“Hey…” Cupping his face and gently guiding him to look at you again, you asked, “I can call him for you if you don’t feel up to it?” Your eyes softened before you added, “And no, Poe… I don’t think that would be ‘silly’.”

Poe let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Could you do that for me…?”

So you did. And less than an hour later, Kes was standing at your door. His knock was so soft and cautious that you would have missed it, had you not been on your way to the kitchen at exactly that moment.

He was shivering from the cold as it looked like he hadn’t even bothered to take the time and find appropriate clothes for the freezing temperatures outside. Yet when you had introduced yourself and motioned quickly for him to come in and step into the warmth, he hesitated.

“Are you really sure that Poe wants to see me?” he asked full of doubt.

You gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes he does. Of course he does! We just didn’t expect you to be here so early.”

“Oh… if you want me to come back later…”

“No, no, please… come in! You must be freezing.”

As Kes stepped into the light of your flat, you could see the clear remnants of tears on his face that had been hastily wiped away. And your heart broke for him just as it had for his son.

Poe had spent the last half hour bent over your record player, carefully removing remnants of dust from the needle and the grooves of the record. Deeply focused on his work, he gave a little start when you entered the living room, announcing brightly, “Look who is here, sweetie.”

“Hello, Poe!”

Turning around, Poe let out a soft, “Hey…” before clearing his throat and saying more firmly, “I am glad that you came.”

“Really?!”

His father’s reaction threw him off for a few moments. Was he really so utterly convinced that Poe wouldn’t want to see him?

Kes had to swallow a few times as he began to fumble nervously with the handle of the bag he had brought with him.

“Oh… these are for you!” he finally said, producing a huge bag of chocolate koyo berries.

Poe gasped in surprise. “But… these take days to make, how did you…?”

The smile that spread across Kes’ face somehow made him look even sadder. “I still make them every year, just in case you might... Never mind, you probably don’t even like them anymore, I just thought…”

Taking a step towards Kes, Poe reassured him, “No, no, of course I still love them, that’s really thoughtful of you… Dad!”

For a brief moment, Poe’s gaze flickered over to you and you started the record player. It took only a few notes for Kes to recognize the melody and his eyes widened, displaying a myriad of emotions.

“I… I’ve been searching everywhere,” he whispered. “I thought that maybe if I could find it, if I could just… you might…” Kes’ voice broke and he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gain his composure.

When he opened them again, his son was standing right in front of him, offering his hand to his Dad. The look in his eyes was neither angry nor reproachful, but open and warm and encouraging with maybe a slightly pleading undertone. And it hit him full force just how much Poe reminded him of Shara in that moment.

Clasping a hand over his mouth, Kes let out a half-stifled shaky sob as his eyes began to glisten with tears. Taking a careful step towards his son, he took Poe’s hand into both of his. Placing the softest of kisses on his son’s hand, he gently held it against his chest right above his heart.

“Oh, Poey,” he whispered. “I am so... I am so…”

The moment his voice faltered again, Poe pulled his Dad into a hug. This drew a surprised little gasp from Kes before he threw his arms around his son, holding him closer than he had ever held him before. Like he was never going to let him go again. He knew that he might not be able to make up for lost time. But he could show Poe how much he meant to him right here and right now. Between violent sobs and desperate kisses to his temple and his cheek, Kes pulled his son close over and over again.

“Me, too!” Poe whispered through his own tears. “It’s okay, Dad… I love you!”

Maybe okay wasn’t exactly the right word. Maybe it was never really gonna be okay again. But as they both clung to each other, it certainly felt more okay than it had in a very long time. Maybe this could be the beginning of creating their new okay.

As his Dad’s desperate kisses slowly turned softer, he pulled back just enough to be able to gently cup his son’s face in his hands. “I love you, too, Poe. So so so damn much!”

You were just about to sneak out of the door to give them some room when Poe softly called out to you, “Hey… c’mere!”

They both invited you to join them with open arms. There may have been some feet casualties before the three of you found your rhythm but those were easily laughed away.

Christmas Eve turned into Christmas Day and Poe was still dancing. Safe and snug in a hug sandwich between the two people that he loved more than anything else in this world and who loved him just as much in return.

As Poe’s face once again found his familiar place in the crook of your neck, he mumbled, “I wish my Mom could have met you. I really wish that she could have been here with us just one more time.”

“I think she is, Poe!”

Instead of an answer, he let out a little sob against your shoulder, hugging both you and his Dad a little tighter, as Kes gently ruffled his hair.

And when Poe looked up again and his gaze came to rest on the star at the top of the Christmas tree, he could have sworn that it shone brighter than he could ever remember.

Sometimes life may cause you wounds that seem to hurt so deeply that all the time in the universe wouldn’t be able to heal them.

And sometimes… sometimes all you need to make the pain a little more bearable is someone to take your hand, hold you gently, kiss you softly and tell you that they love you.

Thank you for reading 💜

[darl-ingfics]

I absolutely love all your fics, especially your Sicktember series!!! 💖💖💖 You write everything so well, especially the fluff. I was wondering if you’d be able to write a miserable San with what he thinks is a head/chest cold that actually turns out to be the flu with ot8 caretakers? I understand that you’re still figuring San out though, so if you’re not comfortable writing for him yet I’m happy with the sickie being Seokmin instead with ot13 caretakers. Only write this if you want to! I love all your writing, so whatever you write I’ll enjoy 😊

First of all, thank you for being SO kind and SO patient! I received your second message today, and that really inspired me to push through and get this done. And I'm so happy I did, cause writing again has felt really stress-relieving, so thank you! I tried my best to do San justice, and honestly, still don't think I've fully got it, but that hardly matters when you make the character so delirious they're really just along for the ride 😅 Hope you enjoy!!!

Friends Like These

Fandom: ATEEZ

Sickie: San (flu)

Caregiver(s): OT8

Word Count: 1,440

Yeosang had been, admittedly, spacing out when San’s head collapsed against his shoulder on the car ride home. Despite jumping slightly at the sudden weight against him, Yeosang relaxed instantly, arm wrapping instinctively around San’s shoulders.

“What’s up, Sannie?” Yeosang whispered, fingers curling absent mindedly in the hair at the nape of San’s neck. 

“Don’ feel gooood,” San whined, sniffling rather pathetically as his body shifted to try to someone get closer to Yeosang despite the constraints of the car. Yeosang frowned sympathetically, even though San couldn’t see. San had been fighting a cold for the past three days, and had rather blatantly lost that battle during practice that day, taking a very clear turn for the worse after lunch. No one was sure how it had happened; San had diligently been taking extra vitamins, drinking ridiculous amounts of water, sleeping as much as possible, trying any and every health hack TikTok supplied… But his efforts had been fruitless, leaving them with a sad, shivery, sniffly San. Which was more than enough to break even the stoniest of hearts. 

“I’m sorry, love,” Yeosang said gently. “We’re almost home, yeah? Then you can take a nice hot shower, and Wooyoung will make you dinner, and then you can sleep. Maybe Yunho or Mingi will even cuddle with you.”

San’s neck twisted so their eyes could meet. The look on his face, the pout and puppy dog eyes, almost made Yeosang laugh out loud from the pathetic-ness of it. “Why won’t you cuddle with me?”

Yeosang shrugged. “I thought you said Yunho was the best cuddler…”

“It’s because he’s tall,” Wooyoung interjected, leaning over from Yeosang’s other side. “That makes him best by default.”

“What rumors are you spreading about me?” Yunho’s head appeared between the headrests from the backseat. 

“All good things,” Wooyoung defended. 

Yunho pointed a warning finger at him. “It better be.” 

Yeosang chuckled softly at his members’ antics, noting how San did not react at all. That was troubling. Yeosang continued playing with his hair, trying to ignore the heat emanating from his friend’s neck until they got home and could do something about it. No need to worry anyone now…

*

Later that evening, on his way up for a shower, Mingi rounded the steps and nearly had a heart attack, not expecting someone to be sitting in the middle of the stairs. Hand clutched to his chest, Mingi turned back to said person: San, sat on the middle step, leaning heavily against the wall, eyes closed and breathing hard. San had been given the privilege of first shower, usually reserved for any member under the weather, and was currently sporting slightly damp hair and pajamas plus a hoodie; but was still obviously shivering. Mingi instantly scrambled up the steps towards him. “Sannie? What’s wrong?”

“I was…” He swallowed hard, wincing in pain. “Comin’ for dinner but… so far…” He coughed roughly, collapsing in on himself. Mingi’s brow knit in worry; San hadn’t sounded like that earlier. “Couldn’t breathe…”

“Sannie, I don’t think this is just a cold.” Mingi frowned, hand to San’s forehead. “You’re really warm. And you shouldn’t be too tired to make it down the steps.” San simply fell forward, collapsing against Mingi’s chest. The taller man wrapped his arms protectively around his friend, worry exploding in his brain. 

“Help?!” Mingi exclaimed, praying someone could hear him. 

Jongho appeared at the top of the stairs, towel around his neck. “What’s wrong?” His eyes widened when he saw what was happening. 

“Perfect,” Mingi sighed to himself. “Sannie’s really not feeling well. Can you help me move him?”

Jongho nodded, instantly attentive. “Back to bed?” San whined at the suggestion, squirming against Mingi’s chest. “What about the couch, hyung?” San nodded. Mingi pouted his lips at Jongho, heart breaking for their friend. 

San did not remember Mingi and Jongho maneuvering him from the steps to the couch. Did not remember having to stop at the bottom of the stairs from lack of energy, coughing again, nearly gagging from the mucus gathering in his throat. Did not remember his members gathering in the doorway, responding to Mingi’s earlier call for help and his hacking. Did not remember Seonghwa holding a paper towel to his mouth, forcing him to cough out a disgusting clump of yellow phlegm that would’ve have embarrassed him into the next century. Did not remember Mingi and Jongho practically dragging him to the couch, his body crumpling like a sack of potatoes and curling in on itself like a shriveled leaf. 

No, the next thing San remembered was…

“Sannie~”

He peeled his eyes open at Wooyoung’s sweet voice. Wooyoung was kneeling next to the couch, smiling softly. “I made you soup.” He gestured to a bowl on the coffee table behind him. San just blinked at him. “Think you can eat for me? If not, we can just put the soup in the fridge. I made enough so you could get a few meals out of it anyway.” 

“But he does need to get some of it to take his medicine.” Seonghwa appeared behind Wooyoung. His arms were crossed over his chest, his lips drawn into a tight line, but, even in his delirious state, San recognized his posture as worry rather than annoyance or anger. 

Wooyoung nodded. “Right. You still need to eat enough for medicine.” San blinked again, then sighed. Even that slight shift of air irritated his throat, made him cough. He felt hands rubbing his back, hoisting him up, supporting him. As soon as his breath returned, he felt a glass (cool, not cold) thrust against his lips, and let whoever it was pour the lukewarm water down his throat, not trusting his own hands to hold the glass. 

“Look, you’re already sitting up,” Wooyoung chirped. San opened his eyes (when had he closed them?). Seonghwa was taking the glass back to the kitchen, and Wooyoung was now holding the bowl of soup. “Let me give you a few bites, yeah?” San nodded, complied. When his body began to sag backwards, craving sleep, Yunho slipped in behind him, holding him up until Wooyoung could feed him enough for Seonhwa and Hongjoong’s approval. San was peripherally aware that all of his members were hovering close by (except for Mingi, who had run to shower as quickly as possible). Hongjoong kept checking his phone, murmuring to Seonghwa, who would murmur back. San didn’t appreciate them murmuring about him, but was in no position to comment on it. 

Once the captain had given the ‘okay, that should be enough’ cue, Wooyoung disappeared with the soup bowl and Hongjoong knelt on the floor in front of the couch, measuring out a dose of medicine. San was glad they were giving him liquid instead of pills.

“Yeah, we knew you couldn’t handle pills right now, buddy,” Yunho said, giving San a gentle squeeze. San blinked. He hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud. 

“You’ve been giving a running commentary for quite a while,” Hongjoong replied to that, offering San the medicine cup. “For the record, Seonghwa and I murmur about all of you. It’s just your turn today.” San frowned at his members so rudely eavesdropping on his inner thoughts, but accepted the medicine cup and tipped it back slowly. He choked a bit at the bitter flavor, and thankfully Yunho thrust a water bottle in his hands before he could start coughing again. After finishing half of the water, he gave the bottle back and instantly closed his eyes, leaning back in Yunho’s embrace. 

“See? I told you he was the best cuddler,” Yeosang insisted from somewhere. The rest of the members responded to him, but San’s brain was already shuttling him back to sleep to the comforting lull of their voices.

And even though he was also technically asleep at the time, San had an unconscious memory of Yunho petting his hair and kissing his forehead before slipping out from underneath him. Of Yeosang curling up on the other side of the couch, San’s legs resting in his lap. Of Mingi covering him with their coziest blanket. Of Wooyoung setting extra water and tissues on the table for him. Of Jongho singing softly close by, protecting him from bad dreams. Of Hongjoong kneeling next to him with their thermometer gun, taking his temperature. Of Seonghwa sitting in the armchair across from the couch, watching over him under the guise of reading a book.

Even asleep, San could feel his members’ love. And not even the following day’s flu diagnosis could make him feel all that bad with friends like these in his corner. 

Final Note: Again, I cannot reiterate how THANKFUL I am for your kindness, Anon. Your messages we so incredibly sweet, and even your question of when to expect the fic was so respectful and I am so lucky to have a community that supports and encourages this type of creative production in a way that acknowledges and supports the natural ups and downs of life. Thank you again for inspiring me to finish this without pushing; it's people like you who make this enjoyable.

Final Note: Again, I cannot reiterate how THANKFUL I am for your kindness, Anon. Your messages were so incredibly sweet, and even your question of when to expect the fic was so respectful and I am so lucky to have a community that supports and encourages this type of creative production in a way that acknowledges and supports the natural ups and downs of life. Thank you again for inspiring me to finish this without pushing; it's people like you who make this enjoyable. 😘

[matan4il]

911 ep 707 first watch reactions

Oh man, I'm actually not sure I have that much to say about this ep.

The entire plot with Mara and her brother Tyson was very sweet, very nice, and way too convenient. One day, shows are going to stop using the phrase, "There must be something you can do!" like it's some secret magic phrase, that makes this sentiment into a reality, AND turns the person addressed into someone willing to risk everything, in order to do that one thing they can do, which is usually something they're very much not supposed to... That said, Denny was sweet, Mara was lovely, her with Tyson was very endearing, and Henren continued to rule.

The storyline with Maddie was nicely handled, both her trauma, and the way Chim helped her use it to figure out the case and help save everyone from the stalker. My little Madney heart absolutely loved it. And Maddie's distress over a baby involved felt very real and understandable, when she's a mom herself now.

But then in a sense, it was clear this has no long term repercussions, other than bringing Brad into contact with Bobby. With his burn scars, and what we know about the fire that Bobby caused in the past, we can guess where this is headed. I trust that 911 will delve into this coming clash with the same humaneness with which it tackles most storylines.

But I'll be honest, I don't really like where Eddie's headed. I know Shannon scarred him deeply, but he was able to let go of her, and allow her to walk away from him twice while she was alive. It's weird if it's now being implied that the reason why he was never able to move on to another serious r/s is that he was stuck on her. The way she died was traumatic and painful, and it made sense that, even accepting that they as a couple were over, he had a hard time dealing with her death, but Eddie seemingly moved on in s4 at the latest. It feels a bit like they don't really know what to do with him, and how to move him on, so they keep going in circles with his character. Kinda like they were with Buck in s6. None of what we saw in that season helped Buck get to some major breakthroughs that we've seen in this one, so this current storyline with Eddie might end in the same way.

I'm not saying it doesn't have the potential to move him forward, and I'm sure it will be presented as if it has whether it actually does or doesn't (kinda like how 618 presented Buck and Natalia as a move forward, even though it very obviously was not), but right now, I'm not enjoying it. I also... even with this idea of having Eddie run into a Shannon look-a-like, I feel they could have gone in a lot of different ways, and the one where he goes on a date with her while having a serious gf he's essentially cheating on, it just doesn't feel great, or true to Eddie's values. Which can be the point, right? That sometimes we're so shaken up, we do stuff that's uncharacteristic. If that's where they'll take it, then it's working, 'coz right now, everything about this feels a little off. Let's hope they do something actually constructive with this, and give Eddie real progress (rather than just give Tim an opportunity to re-use an actress he already said he really likes).

Small mandatory Buddifer moment was really lovely, even if far from what my shipper heart would want. Then again, I honestly feel it's so funny that Buck is dating Tommy, while being married to Eddie, his actual baby daddy. If there aren't a lot of fics shipping all three men already, then IDK fandom.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[lostgirlinthewoods]

We bearly got him back at he's leaving. It's been 10 months of waiting. 10 MONTHS AND NOW HE'S GONE AGAIN 😭 AND FOR GOOD. I'm actually tearing up and it hurts sm. I'll definitely miss Seunghan so much and I hope whatever he has in future goes well for him. 🧡🧡

Ooo, I just needed to let this out. Also FUCK SM AND OT6 STANS

That's all. Have a nice day/night 🙂 thanks for having the inbox open for this because jeez😭✋🏽

sending hugs to you, sweetie 🥺

here's my thought about all of this (quite long because im still mad af):

10-11 months of nonstop supports from ot7 briize. the airship project, various banners and led ads billboard. hongjjangus were willing to give their full support financially for an ot7 comeback, promising they're gonna give it their all once seunghan is back

the news about him coming back was so heart warming. the header literally said "too briize who loved riize" and it was him coming home.

the sudden rise in streaming numbers, social media followings, non-fans tuning in, fans coming back to the fandom, and the boycotters who promised they're gonna catch up with streams are really doing so. the support seunghan had, and riize in general, for coming back literally outweights the protest trucks, funeral wreaths and all those crazy fans camping outside sm. like his return was BIG big!! everybody was waiting for it! everyone was willing to support, especially the intl side!

the members fighting for him were highlighted during the announcement, seunghan himself saying the members wanted him back, wonbin standing up for him even though he knew he'll get lashings from it.

all of those went down the drain just because sm is spineless. this decision is so dangerous as they literally just told these fans they can do whatever they want and the company will agree regardless whether the members themselves are against it or not. most of the intl support is leaving right now, it's like mass exodus on my x account. some were literally wishing riize to disband or to flop. the fandom is more divided than ever. and some fansites who can't fucking read the room are posting airport previews of the members who clearly looks like they're having a hard time. all of these happened because that incompetent company cannot fucking lift a finger to protect their own artist/s.

however, if this is really seunghan's decisions (and is not influenced by sm which i highly doubt), i have no choice but to respect and support that!! i hope nothing but happiness to him because god knows he needs it. i hope he's only surrounded by the people who truly love him and cared for him from now on.

hoping seunghan and the other 6 nembers have the support system they need and that they're going to heal from all of this

seunghan's journey in riize may have ended but i believe this is not the end for us. we can still show him our support in our own ways

[striderepiphany]

My favorite reddie fics masterpost

I have an absolutely insane number of reddie fics saved in my bookmarks for how recently I joined this fandom so I decided to share my absolute favorites with you. Please give these authors some love and let me know which ones are you've read and enjoyed!

the year of the goat and your kid back by derryfacts2

1 chapter, 14,838 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: The day you get the most important email of your life, there’s a new black skidmark on the wall of the stairwell, and you know exactly whose fault it is. “Margaret,” you intone to the harried, wild-haired woman in the lobby. She sighs at you as she tries to jimmy her mail key loose. “I know.” It wouldn’t even be that bad if the kid would just skateboard outside. Or get good at skateboarding. Either of those things. Maggie’s a nice lady, though, and she’s had “trying my best” scribbled all over her since they moved into 6B maybe eight years ago. So you try not to be a dick, even if her son is a gold-standard pain in the ass. He’s good for three things: smells, noise, and reminding you how big Eddie must be by now.

The first It fic I read that made me go "holy shit, this is fantastic" and remains one of my all-timers (hence why its first in this list). Really fun and unique outsider POV from Eddie's estranged gay dad, and tells a very sweet story mostly through dialogue. Young adult Eddie and Richie are very cute.

i think the clock is slow by derryfacts2 (again)

3 chapters, 15,815 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: So there was that reason that work wasn’t boring, too. There was Richie’s soppy campaign of making cow eyes at the back of Eddie’s head as he passed, gently pressing Betty for details about his personal life (“I don’t think he has one. He had this awful fiancé a few years ago, but we’re all glad that’s over”), and chasing the incomparable high of a quiet, muttered “Thanks, Rich” whenever Richie picks something up for him from the copier.

Richie is a wannabe stand-up comic daylighting as the receptionist at Eddie's office. Eddie is a tightly-wound corporate asshole. They are both disasters. Or: five times Richie watched Eddie and one that Eddie watched him back.

I really enjoy workplace dramas and this one satisfied the itch so well. So many good scenes and dialogue, this author characterizes them in a way that really works for me. The perfect read-in-an-afternoon fic.

listen to my heart (can you hear it sing?) by vampirerising

12 chapters, 137,708 words, Major Character Death. Summary: "You need to wake up now,” Stan says softly. “This isn’t real.”

“I know, but I can’t,” Richie sobs. “I don’t want to be here.” Not again. Never again. It is dead, why is It still haunting him?

Stan fixes him with one of those looks of his, the one where he can see his every thought as if it were written on his face. “That’s not true, Trashmouth.”

Alternatively: We all know Richie gets caught in the Deadlights, but do we really know what happens after?

(Deadlights, timelines, Stan’s ghostly meddling—oh, my.)

This one is fucking weird in a way that I absolutely adore. Kind of like a sci-fi novel in that it requires you to pay attention to figure out what the fuck is going on but its so good and worth it. The MCD is Stan, not Eddie, and the last couple chapters are actually a very normal domestic Eddie lives AU. One of the first reddie artworks I made was fanart for a scene from this fic that I really enjoy.

a strange sense of familiarity by Katranga

21 chapters, 103,571 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "So Eddie, what brings you to the bar tonight?" Richie asked. "Gonna rebound from the divorce? Pick up a hot young twenty-something to feel young again?” “Fuck you,” Eddie said, jutting his chin forward. “What a terrible way to ruin the mood.” “I’m sorry, all my moods are poorly cultivated. What mood were you looking for?” A nervous lump grew in Eddie's throat. He threw back his drink to get rid of it.

Hand wrapped around the glass he’d just slammed back onto the bar, he said, “The mood that gets me leaving with a schlubby forty-something.”

Pre-chapter two, Eddie and Richie meet and don't remember each other, but have an instant connection anyway...

This one is just... so fucking good. Decently long without ever feeling like it's dragging. Part 1 is them developing their totally-casual-I-swear relationship, which blows up right when Mike calls them back to Derry. Part 2 is them navigating both killing a nightmare clown demon and the awkwardness between them. Also everybody lives! So that's nice.

change partners by avacadomoon (with podfic available)

1 chapter, 30,453 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Rich," Eddie says heavily. Meaningfully, and Richie holds his breath, both afraid and hopeful that Eddie is about to say something really sappy, like I always knew and it didn't matter to me, or you know I support you no matter what. Eddie takes a deep breath before he speaks, and Richie closes his eyes, braced for it. "I didn't look at your dick pics."

"Well hey, Eds, thanks," Richie says, laughing incredulously. "Thanks for that."

I LOVE THIS ONE SOOO FUCKING MUCH. I urge you to consider this as a rec for this author as well, as they have a bunch of other reddie fics I think are fantastic. I have a weakness for any reddie fic that lets them be just a little mean to each other. As a treat. (Also the podfic is very well done, you should check that out too.)

check raise by avacodomoon

1 chapter, 15,061 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Eddie, not a fan of stand up comedy, not a fan of his beer," Rich says, leaning back on one elbow and squinting at him, like he's lining him up in a camera lens frame, "but what is he doing drinking alone?"

"I was alone, and now I'm not," Eddie says. "Some prick sat down next to me and started yapping."

"Ah, unpleasant to talk to," Rich concludes. "Explains a lot."

I know I meant the last rec as a blanket rec for all this author's works but I'm including this one specifically because it has a twist ending that is well-foreshadowed and it slapped my dick clean off.

Things that Happen after Eddie Lives by IfItHollers

11 chapters, 107,947 words, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings. Summary: In a world where Richie manages to save Eddie from It after the deadlights, they still have problems on their to-do list. Featuring everything from Derry to Los Angeles—Richie Tozier's murder trial, Eddie Kaspbrak's divorce proceedings, bedsharing of the platonic and non-platonic varieties, an investigation of magic, a truly disgusting séance, the quintessential morosexual road trip, and OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES.

Definitely NOT your average Eddie lives AU. Drama! Mild peril! Psychic abilities! The ghost of Stanley Uris collect calling from beyond the grave via Richie Tozier's vocal chords! Fun and freaky and weird. Three things that make any fic a Josh favorite.

I'm going to stop there because I'm sleepy but let me know if you want more! Like I said I've got like 70 of these lovingly tucked in my bookmarks and I'm happy to share with the class.

[x-bee-x]

What's this? A fic from me in the DSMP category because there was canon lore? In 2024?

I was watching or getting ready to watch someone else, I had my follower list open at least, and saw Jack was live and there was something about logging onto the server later in his title and wait what. I knew as soon as I updated some friends about said happenings, I muted the Discord channel I sent it in in case people wanted to talk more about it and maybe sent spoilers later, and I was on here very little because I knew even though I'm not 100% in the fandom anymore and certainly not a fan of all the members, I would like to see it for myself. So I watched the vod the next morning and oh my god.

I did not expect to get literal chills the moment he logged on and the first thing we saw was the bench. And I almost cried when we saw Las Nevadas. And I did cry a bit when we saw Tech's house. Regardless of how much I care about the streamers who were part of that as of late, I did at one point, very much so. This was something I did not expect, it was so nostalgic and emotional and actually warmed my heart a bit seeing so many fans come together during and after it happened. This was a really unexpected and lovely way to tie things up, I thought they kind of were already in all areas for me at least, but I think that this was a good way to finally properly say goodbye.

Epilogue

No warnings

1,438 words

Tommy was. Somewhere.

He wakes up he thinks, he opened his eyes at least, running a hand through his blonde curls.

And.

He didn't think he was alone this time. Or well, he wasn't always, Tubbo was there sometimes, but this was a different sort of person feeling.

"H-hello?"

He typed into his communicator for the heck of it.

"Hey."

Jack?

"Wh-where have you fucking been?"

"Casino.

Been here for years mate.

Made loads."

He was.

He was in Las Nevadas?

This whole time. This whole time?

Tommy stood at the top of the hill at the entrance of the faux desert and sure enough.

Someone with one blue and one red eye, a head of buzzed hair with a headset on top, a blue short sleeved hoodie, and camouflage pants stood at the bottom.

"Let me bless you, my boy, it's been too long."

He threw a couple of diamonds at the feet of younger, who probably looked just as puzzled as he felt.

"Jack. Seriously.

What happened?"

"What do you mean? I've just been here. Playing roulette."

This whole time? This whole time.

"Wanna know where I've been?

Come with me."

"Hold on, can't leave on a loss, gotta get that big win."

Jack came out eventually, and they walked out of Las Nevadas and along the Prime Path together, he has somewhere to show him.

"It's good to see you."

"You too, man."

"I've been here."

"Here? Under the bridge?"

"Out in the distance. That way.

I've got a house. It's nice."

"I haven't seen anyone for a loooooong time.

Well, maybe Tubbo, every now and again."

Tommy and Jack walked, or well, Tommy walked, and all the sudden Jack's voice became quieter and quieter somewhere behind rather than beside him.

"Me either, casino's been empty.

Honestly, I just steal money from the safe's to gamble with. I could take it all if I wanted, but the thrill keeps me in there.

Gambler's addiction, they call it. One day I'll win big. 99% of people quit before then.

But not me. I'll make it. It's been years, but, it's coming."

He turned his head to the boy with heterochromia behind him, blonde waves bouncing lightly.

"You're not very good at catching up, are you?"

"Just telling my story, man."

Jack said while he jogged to be once again beside him.

"Never thought I'd be around these parts again. I moved far from here to get away from it.

It brings back too much. Joy, fun, sadness, pain. Too much of all of it.

But it's nice to see a familiar face."

The path they took to get to their destination was familiar, and this time he knew it was safe as well as convenient, no one with a mask he had to worry about being on the other side, or worse yet, chase him.

A bridge of cobblestone among the dark red brick and close to unbearable heat, from one swirling purple transparent gateway surrounded by obsidian to another, and they were spot out onto a soft cold white blanket.

"I don't live around here."

"Oh. I thought that's where we were going?"

"No, god no. Do you know how long it took for me to get back here?

I come here a lot though"

A house, a cabin to be exact, sat the same as them in the nearby distance.

It was cream colored with chestnut colored accents, a matching wooden roof and front door, and a chimney that stood tall and sat bare, no plumes of smoke emitted which once came from it.

"Cool. It's quaint. I like it.

Maybe I'll bye it when I win big!"

Tommy looked to the older boy with two colored eyes beside him, opened his mouth but decided against saying anything, then opened it again to say something after all.

"This is Technoblade's house."

"Oh. Maybe I won't do that then."

"How long do you usually sit here like this?"

"As long as I need to.

Sometimes minutes. Sometimes hours."

There were areas of fences close by on the surrounding property, the occasional bray or bah or grunt echoed through the air, and sat in the otherwise quiet.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Hit me."

Tommy fidgeted with the fingers on one hand in his lap as he found the right words and considered them being actually spoken.

"Do you ever.

Like, despite all the war, and the fighting, and all the- well, all the mess- how much it sent me a fucking mess.

Do you ever miss it? Those days? The people? Or, well, the way they were. The way it all was."

Jack looked at him, something like softness in his features.

"Sure. It was all a bit much at times, and I'm not sure I'd wanna do it all again.

But I miss it sometimes. It was fun, really."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd do it all again either. But. I don't know, I've tried to move on. My little cottage far away, my humble paradise. But that trails a lot into my mind."

"I think it trails onto all of our minds sometimes, wherever we all are.

But we all have to move on, find our own destiny sometime."

"Okay. Phew. I'm glad it's not just me."

"Chasing the win keeps me happy.

I like who I am now, probably more than I was. But that doesn't mean he was bad."

"You like being a gambler? Over an incompetent fight loser?"

Jack laughed, soft and genuine, and Tommy fidgeted a bit harder.

"I guess they're not great options are they."

"Sorry, that was a bit harsh, I don't see many people."

"One of them means I might win someday, I was never gonna win back then."

His face held that expression again, soft, almost sad maybe.

"I've still got my one life. One canon life.

And I intend to use it the best way I can."

"What do you mean? How do you wanna use it?."

"You know. I've not got a clue.

But I'll figure that out later.

For now, I've got my cottage, and my new pet! Oh she's adorable. Mareep, she's a little sheep I caught.

But you know, things are okay for me.

Tubbo and his fucking bees I see also every now and then. He's doing pretty well for himself. Selling fucking honey."

"Oh, that's good. I thought he exploded when I blew up everything.

I can't actually die I don't think, so I never know whether these things are bad for everyone else or not."

"I guess being the president of L'Manberg teaches you a few logistical things, aye?

Not that either of us would know anything about that."

"Well."

"Well."

"I haven't seen anyone else besides Tubbo."

"Yeah, you two are hard to separate."

"Tell me about it."

"I think I like it that way for now though.

The quiet life."

"Quiet is nice. This is nice."

"It's good to see an old face though. I know I said it before, but it really is."

Tommy pushed himself up and off the snow beneath them, a couple joints popped, Jack did the same, they stayed standing with the cabin behind them.

"Well, I can't stay for long, I've gotta do things like feed Mareep."

"Yeah, I got some places to see, now that I'm out.

Haven't left there in a while, probably should go check on some things."

"Is there anything else you wanna ask me? I have no questions for you."

Jack looked like he might have something to say, but was going through the roster of words in his mind, carefully considering them.

"Are you happy?

I guess that's really all I'd care to know."

Tommy opened his mouth to respond, closed it, gave a whisper of a smile, ran one of his hands along his pant leg in a partial fidget and a partial way to rid himself of the cold, then opened it again.

"Getting there."

They both nodded gently.

"I'm glad."

"It's good to see you, Jack."

"It's good to see you too, Tommy."

"I hope you get that big win someday.

Oh, and hey. Don't let anyone bye this house."

"I won't."

"I might not see you again. But I hope to lhear about it if you win big."

That's okay. You will. I can deal with just knowing that you're happy."

Tommy held out a hand.

"So long J Money."

Jack shook it.

"Bye Big T."

They both looked to the cabin once more, gave a two finger salute, and went their separate ways along the snowy path.

[stanleyvampire14]

First LOTF anniversary thingy (idk what to call it)

Wooo lets go mini essay time—

Ok so! First thing! I did NOT want to read this book because I HATE forced reading in English class! However! We had an audiobook and it was cool so I said “Hey, maybe there’s other people that like this the way I do.” And Tumblr is, just that!

Also I joined in the dead middle of LOTFtober so uh there’s that. I was like “Wait there’s people DRAWING shit from this book? THEY’RE SO GOOD????”

Uhhh shoutout to Simorys and those people that made LOTF animatics on YouTube, gotta be my favorite way of getting into a fandom (I remember watching Simorys tiktoks like “hehe funny kids- oh shit Simon :(“)

GIGANTIC SHOUTOUT TO SNOW (@lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks) MY ART FRIEND AND FELLOW LOTF ENJOYER EVEN THOUGH NEITHER OF US HAS REALLY INTERACTED WITH THE BOOK TO MY KNOWLEDGE FOR A WHILE. GREAT FRIEND. WOULD 100% THROW HIM INTO THE SUN. /pos also technically a reference to like our first interaction (RIP Simon and his broken limbs)

Would say a bunch of LOTF artists names on here but there’s too many- However! Yall are cool! I like the different ways you draw the characters and like the little headcanons yall bring to the table. Such silly guys.

Vic.

Shoutout to Teddy and Ana for carrying the LOTF fandom your backs must be hurting 🫡 you guys are awesome!

Let us not forget this goober @the-heart-anon1, please for the love of everything do NOT leave we need you in this fandom it’s a mess 😭 We love heart anon 🔥🔥🔥🔥

All in all, despite the occasional fights and ship wars (which is…What a fandom does), we all get along somehow for the most part and I enjoy that quite a lot. Go lotfers!

I’m NEVER saying that again.

Oh yeah I forgot about my silly ocs- Thank you guys for indulging in Ryder, Mary, John, etc’s stories, it’s really nice to see people like them????? Will return to that one day, I miss Altair Sterling :( Post Ryder Altair my beloved <3

Alrighty, I think that’s all, thanks for reading this very jumbled mess of a post! ^_^

First Ryder drawing just because I wanted to put a picture—

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday wonderful fandom :) This episode. It doesn’t need much of an intro. I remember just being so excited I couldn’t stand it ha (how I'll be in 36 days for the premiere) I had to wait an extra day cause I have Hulu and not live cable. This one is just amazing from start to finish. Once again did my best to get everything in within the limits of tumblr. 30 is just never enough especially in this season ha Off we go.

5x10 The List

Our babies get the cold open as they should this is basically their episode. They deserve the open and what a cold open it is. I can’t get over how much I love them both emptying out their closets. I wanna break this down with Tim first then Lucy. Our boy is SO SO nervous it’s so cute I cannot stand it. He wants to look good for Lucy and I wanna squee so hard at that. He’s trying so hard for her and my heart is gonna implode.

My fav for him personally was the black shirt cause god damn he looked delectable in it. But they’re all fine af on him. Man is a delicious treat we all get to enjoy with our eyes. The way he stretches out his arms each time trying to calm his nerves. It’s so cute. Loved them showing how very nervous they both were. Be still my heart.

Let’s move to Lucy. She of course is just as nervous as Tim. It’s precious. I also adore the nod to previous moments for them as she looks at her dresses. The ones from wonderful moments such as 4x12 and 4x18. Lucy looking at them and rolling her eyes. Having just as much of a struggle as Tim. Saw a good parallel between this and Bailey with her first date with John. Wanting to look hot but not too hot. Ha She nails that BTW When she finally lands on her final choice.

Tim is nervous and uncertain so what does he do? He calls Lucy. Because he doesn’t know what to wear to this. What does one wear when they’re in love with their best friend and going on their first date? So he defaults to calling his best friend about his problem. It just so happens he’s also going to be on a date with said best friend. hehe I love them so much I might die haha

Lucy sees Tim calling and immediately picks up. Makes me happy how open and honest they are right off the bat. Tim knows she isn’t ready because he isn’t ready. Just knows her so damn well. Lucy asking if he’s ready? The cute panic in his voice when he says ‘No!’ Oh my lord I cannot. Eric crushed that line. His panic continuing through asking her if this place has a dress code?

Lucy deciding messing with him is more fun than helping him. Saying he could wear cargo shorts if he wanted….Tim believing her for a moment. Then realizing what she’s doing. Calling her out for it. He is all smiles when he does though. My goodness this man is happy. So very nice to see. I love his Lucy smile it does things to me. Lucy rolls her eyes but is beaming just as much at his reply. This scene is them being love struck idiots and I’m here for it.

He couldn’t be cuter asking her what she’s wearing? Trying his best to match up. Lucy tells him she has a lot of outfits she knows she isn’t going to wear. LOL Tim reminding her about traffic is the most married thing. Doesn’t want her to be late. To their first date. Which is beyond adorable in itself. They’re both so excited I’m feeling their excitement as they get ready.

Lucy says it’s silly she knows. She just needs to make a decision. Then decides to go with the iconic green dress from 3x14. Tim knows exactly what dress that is when she mentions it. The man is legit beaming when she says that's her pick. Have we ever seen this man this happy? The answer is no LOL

He is so damn excited they’re doing this. Her picking the dress means it’s really happening. Lucy tells him it’s decided then looks in the mirror and says ‘No…’ I was rolling so hard. Melissa and Eric CRUSHED this scene. Hell this entire episode really. Cracks me up she changed her mind last minute but it’s a damn good change up as we will see below.

The awkwardness that is them begins at the restaurant. Talking about bread and the assortment being good. LMFAO What are you guys doing? It’s so funny to see Tim being so incredibly not smooth. He could not be more obvious in checking her out above. Man likes what he see’s and isn’t being subtle about it at all. Elevator gaze and no shame in the game as he does.

Lucy’s little shimmy. I’m dying. She’s very glad she decided to change from the green dress. As she should my god what a bombshell she is in that outfit. Holy hell. She nailed it. Shows off her body, plunging neckline, with the perfect necklace, and just enough cleavage she got Tim checking her out shamelessly.

Lucy came to play with this dress. She knew exactly what she was doing when she picked that whole outfit out. I think she’s very excited he’s checking her out. There’s a look of pride on her face above. Lucy knew she was driving him wild and was feeling pretty damn powerful in this moment. She has Tim Bradford panting after her. So she should be feeling as such. Well done my friend haha

Let's not over look Tim looking fine af too. I see you Tim. Mighty delicious. You know him looking hot as hell is part of Lucy's nerves as well. He dressed that way for her. So you know that's making her feel some things. They try and do some small talk and it’s quite painful tbh lmao. No one does awkward better than Eric and Melissa though. Talking about what they ordered for dinner. It's so awkward but I love it so much at the same time. Why you ask?

Because this means so much to the both of them. Neither of them want to mess it up or say the wrong thing. So they’re radiating nervous jitters. Which is adorable. Lucy answers his question that she ordered the sea bass. Tim continuing the small talk train replying he almost ordered the sea-bass.... Lucy’s reply ‘Oh, cool…’ Is it though? LOL I’m rolling at how stilted this whole conversation is. Not like them at all.

Lucy points out the awkwardness between them because she can’t not. Asking him why this is so weird? Poor Tim the panic and gulping he does when she says this. We see his eyes bulge a little too. He’s so worried she’s going to want to bail on this now. That she is regretting doing this at all. He wants this to work so badly. He’s afraid he’s messed this up already. My poor love. He is so nervous that it spills into his next comment. Awkward Tim is hilariously adorable.

He instantly regrets saying ‘Naked time.’ the minute it leaves his beautiful lips. You can see it written all over his face. Being as smooth as crunchy peanut butter my love... He has sex on the brain because of that outfit. Hence his comment. She looks so beautiful his brain is actually melting LOL Lucy is smiling so hard at his nervousness though. She loves her goober so much. Lucy knows how he is feeling what she is. So she doesn’t give him too much crap for the comment but her face and reply say it all for her haha

Lucy decides this is the time for them to have convo about expectations. I commend her for sharing this right away. It was good for her to set this boundary early on. These two are one massive boiling cauldron of UST ready to overflow. It was an important tone for her set for them. Lucy is just wanting them to date first. See what it is like to be a couple before entering into the physical part of this all. This really was a smart move on her part IMO.

We all love the sexy times and we get lots of it this season. But it was important they took their time like they did. Just like I was glad they didn’t get together in 5x01. I was glad they didn't rush this either. Delayed gratification is a beautiful thing. I LOVE how Tim is staring so lovingly at her as she says all this. That man would’ve done ANYTHING she wanted in this moment. Absolutely anything. He could not be more in love with her if he tried. Look at that man above as she speaks.

Looking like she hung the moon and stars. He would do whatever it is she wanted. Because he’s so gone for her. Lucy could’ve asked for the world and he would've delivered just simply because she asked. There is no hesitation or regret on his face. He is truly listening and wanting to do whatever she is comfortable with. Eric just crushing it out here with his facial expressions. He would give her whatever she wants whenever she wants it. That’s what his face is screaming to me In this moment. She has him hook, line and sinker.

Tim hears the back door open and looks up. Lucy sees the panic on his face and gives him crap for it. Asking if he’s worried someone from station will see them? Tim shrugs it off and says 'What are the chances? ' A fight breaks out in the kitchen and Lucy seems worried about it. Tim tries to play it off not wanting it to interrupt their date.

He just wants this date to go well so badly. Doesn’t want whatever this is to get in the way. Sadly it doesn’t go their way and the employees end up fighting and knife is drawn. Unfortunately the cops are called and their dinner is ruined. Lucy making the comment ‘What are the chances someone from the station walks in now?’ HA

They both look so sad and exasperated their date was ruined like this. All they wanted was to enjoy a meal together. Figure this whole thing out while they did so. AMAZING cold open for them though holy hell. Excellent way to open up this episode for them. Lots of goodness in it. I knew we were in for quite a ride from getting all that in the open alone.

The next morning they could not be more suspicious or obvious if they tried. Trying to figure out how to explain their presence in the police report. This whole scene is hilarious. It’s like they don’t know the entire station doesn’t suspect something to begin with…Trying so hard not to stand super close to each other while they figure this out. They’re so bad at hiding this it’s insane. So good at their jobs so very bad at this. I love Lucy just wanting to be open and honest about them. Chris had to drag every single moment out of her for months. Was like pulling teeth. Half a date with Tim she’s ready to shout it from the rooftops.

*sigh* I love this sfm. Tim warns her the dangers of them doing that this early on. He’s not wrong about Smitty LMFAO. It’s so true. Lucy’s brain kicks into gear saying could’ve been doing a UC OP. Tim getting excited by her brain. They start flirting while figuring this out. Their chemistry just coming off them in waves. The back and forth banter as they work out the details. The irony of them being all smiles and flirty while trying to hide their date. I cannot with these two dorks. Tim is beaming with love and pride by the time they’re done plotting.

Once again so bad at hiding your feelings and or relationship you two so bad…I saw a funny post saying this scene was a 'How to on not being good at hiding your secret relationship. ' LMAO YEP. John arriving and Lucy just going off about their OP without him even asking. I’m dying so much it’s hilarious. Tim going into protect Lucy mode when John is confused is everything. Telling Nolan decisively 'Nothing.' When he questions what they're talking about? Mmm tell him babe. Doesn’t want Nolan on their trail whatsoever. Good thing it was John though cause dude didn’t notice at all. He is a space cadet so they dodge a bullet.

They get called into Grey’s office for a heart attack basically. The way he starts off you think he is talking about them. The absolute panic on both of their faces. Especially Tim’s oh my lord. I love how Tim goes to reach out to comfort Lucy and has to stop himself. Now does Grey know at this point? I mean yeah probably.

I know lots of people think Grey was being a troll in this moment. Poking at them and knowing for sure when he had this talk with them. To gauge their reactions. I mean they are showing their cards like crazy in this scene. Their reactions alone are enough to solidify what I’m sure Grey suspects.

Luckily he says he’s just talking about Celia and Aaron. We watch them both relax and deflate their anxiety a bit. So happy Grey isn’t talking about them in this moment. He asks them if they’ll go and talk about this with them? Doesn’t want Celina to get off track in her rookie year. That Aaron is just out of long sleeves. They’re both so relieved they just say yes LMAO They would've agreed to anything to get out of his office at that point.

Tim holding the door for her my damn heart. Chivalry isn't dead with that man and I love it. There was a BTS post on how Eric wanted Tim to do that for her. Because well Tim Bradford and all that. It's just who he is. Of course he would hold the door for his girl. This next scene is pure married energy. Tim dreading having to have this conversation with Aaron. The last thing he wants to be doing but doesn't have a choice now that he's agreed HA

Lucy feeling it’s hypocritical if she tells Celina not to. Then realizes she can use Nolan to her advantage LMAO Smart woman being smart. Tim calls her out for cheating haha Or is she just being strategic Timothy? Lucy leaves him in the dust before he can pout any further with her. Tim being the exasperated husband as she walks away from him with her plan in place. Her 'Mmhmm.' as she leaves lol

We rejoin our beautiful couple on the sidelines of a hostage situation. One of the guys from Nyla’s bank robber situation has taken one. They’re all in a standoff waiting to see what they should do. Lucy commenting on the severity of the situation. Trying to make a light joke. Saying 'Remember when dating in secret was their biggest problem?' Love her using ‘Our’ it’s the little things.

Lucy asking him how his talk with Aaron went? Tim bringing up all the things that make their situation ‘problematic.’ To say the least. Yeah it sucks they have to face this stuff. But nothing worth having is ever easy. I love them forging forward despite this. Because as they decided in 5x08. They are worth the risk.

They needed time to figure this out despite the possible complications. So yeah there were potential problems but they were worth the risk of all those. They both knew it. It's why they didn’t bail at the first sign of possible issues. I just love it. It’s what makes 5x12 and the decision Tim makes so prominent and special.

They end up saving the woman who was taken hostage earlier. Unfortunately there is still two more on the run. Tim and Aaron get wind of them and end up in a parking structure. They make it to the top and don’t see them waiting for them. They push them to the very edge and leave them hanging. Literally. This is where Aaron becomes a damn icon. LOL

When Tim tells him to get out of the shop Aaron’s reply is the actual best. We all knew he suspected but this line of his confirms it. Also he’s not wrong…Lucy would kill him for letting Tim die. Kills me Aaron always telling it like it is to Tim. I love him so very much. He’s just saying what everyone is thinking. Being the mouth piece for the fandom once again. Tim doesn’t deny it but tells him to get out of the shop. LMFAO

They make it back to the station and Lucy is of course with Tim. Like a moth to a flame. Telling him she’s glad he didn’t die. Since he owes her for a re-do on their date. Tim being as sassy as can be in his reply. First off could they be any closer in this shot? Second the smirks and flirting are telling everyone in that bullpen what you’re trying so hard to hide you two lol my god. Tim is eating it up her wanting another date and it shows.

She is once again affectionately violent in her reply with Tim. He is all smiles when she says this too. The man is an open book of love for her. He couldn’t be happier with this banter going into their ‘second’ date. Anyone watching them can see something has changed but they're too lost in their own banter to notice that. Damn I love these two goobers so very much I might implode haha

Ahhhhh the Treats of Vietnam scene. I can’t get over how damn close these two are. It’s why that far away shot of them is my avatar. They are as close as two people can be in public sitting across from each other. She is basically sitting between his legs and I’m losing my mind about it everyone. Bouncing her leg against his. Legs for days and I'm ship drunk off this alone tbh. Also want to comment on how much I love the lighting in this scene.

The lights above them set this beautiful relaxed tone I adore so much. Tim making a slight joke thinking it's funny this where they ended up. Going from a super fancy romantic restaurant to a food truck. Saying he guesses this is their official first date. Lucy coming in hot with a curveball of an answer. Blowing his damn mind like only she can. Saying last night was for sure. Better story for the grandkids.

I love her face after she says this. Just gauging his reaction. No regrets whatsoever in saying this. This is the same Lucy Chen who couldn’t handle calling Chris her his GF. Legit panicked about it and fought him on it. Was one giant commitment issue with that boy. Half a date with Tim she’s thinking about grandkids with him. Lucy said she wanted to take it slow in the bedroom. She didn’t say anything about their life plans LOL *squee* She is so all in and this line screams that. Makes my shipper heart so damn happy.

Tim isn’t at all upset about her reply. This man was in a relationship with a woman who didn’t want any of that. Didn’t want any of his dreams. Now here comes Lucy Chen. Talking about grandkids on their second date. His face is pure joy. His dreams coming true with this woman next to him. He is beside himself with happiness. It’s written all over his face. Tim is giddy really. Lucy’s cute giggle afterwards I cannot. Her man making her laugh *heart clutch*

These two are gonna kill me with their cuteness. Give me diabetes from how sweet they are. Lord. Tim having cop eyes can’t help but see the idiot trying to break into a car. Says his frustration out loud. The last thing he wants is another interruption with his girl. Lucy is so lost in her date with Tim she doesn’t even see this guy. Which I love. She is so wrapped up in him her cop eyes are off. Not seeing this guy on her radar at all.

Tim doesn’t even get up from their spot. Just yells at the moron and shows his badge. Not wanting to do more than that. Lucy pointing out he’s just going to steal a car in another neighborhood. Which Tim could care less about tbh. The only thing that matters to him in this moment is her. It’s why this next line is so god damn romantic. We truly see how far Tim has come in this moment.

Why is this growth you ask? Because Tim ‘rules matters’ Bradford is picking his girl in this moment. She is more important than chasing some punk for breaking into a car. To touch back on an OTP line from S2. ‘Some things matter more.’ Lucy matters more in this moment to him. More than anything else and he’s letting her know that. Telling her in his own way she matters more to him.

I’m losing my ever loving mind at how romantic this is. I adore him declaring this and being the one to initiate their first real kiss. Lucy looks so in shock. Wondering if this is real life? Did Tim Bradford just pick her over arresting someone? Over the rules? He sure did and he would do it again. Nothing is going to stand in his way of being with her tonight.

Gah it’s the way he softly touches her hair and gently cups her face with his hand. Looking at her like she is the most precious thing in the world to him. Because she is. Let’s be honest she is. Lucy brought this man back to life in so many ways. There is nothing more important to him especially in this moment than her. Never be over her face when he touches her hair. Like she can't believe Tim is looking at her the way he is.

I adore Lucy smiling into this kiss. I’m sure she can’t believe her own luck right now. The man she loves, loves her right back and chose her in this moment. Over everything else he wanted to stay present in this moment with her. His hand on her face while the other is on her THIGH. Her thigh everyone. His love for her thighs continues on in this first real kiss. It was bouncing earlier against his. I'm sure he put it there partly to ground her during this kiss. Also because we all know he has a penchant for them hehe

I’ll never be over how tender and soft this kiss is. The complete opposite of the two they’ve shared before. Those were hot don’t get me wrong so very hot. But this one has a lovely tenderness to it that makes me giddy. The wind soft picking up her hair as they melt into one another. It’s the perfect first kiss. His hand in her hair, his other on her thigh, Lucy smiling dreamily into their kiss. I am a puddle.

It just shows it was never about the right restaurant or outfit. It was just about being together. This scene showing how at ease these two are with each other. That’s beautiful base of friendship they built over the years coming in clutch here. They just look at home with each other this entire scene. *dreamy sigh* Makes my soul happy.

If you didn't watch this scene million and one times when it premiered you're lying haha Hell I did it this time around. I remember losing my damn mind with this scene. Never be over how easily they went from friends to this. Every moment leading up to this is utter perfection. Beautiful start to something more.

~~~

Side notes -Non Chenford

Nolan’s conversation with Celina was so painfully awkward and hilarious I loved her reply to him asking about Aaron she crushed it.

Also Tim is sexy af figuring out how to get that woman out from her car like he did. Mmm love watching that man in the field. Delicious to say the least to watch him in action.

Aaron and Celina playing D & D 😂😂😂 made me laugh so hard. Aaron is SO embarrassed.

I forgot to thank you all last episode. Apologies thank you all who continue to support these reviews. I adore you all more than you will ever know. Your likes, comments and reblog are everything to me. Especially as I tackle these seminal moments in s5. I shall see you all in 5x11 :)

[companionjones]

It’s Not Real

Pairing: John B x Reader

Fandom: Outer Banks (Netflix)

Summary: John B has a bad dream.

Warnings: Angst

*******

    John B stormed out of his house with you following him.

    “Don’t walk away from me John B!” you yelled after him. You begged, “Don’t walk away from us.”

    John B couldn’t remember ever being more angry as he turned to you. “Don’t put this on me. You know how important this is to me, and you’re getting in the way!”

    “I’m trying to save your life!”

    John B just groaned.

    “You are constantly putting your life at risk with these quests. One of those days, it’s going to catch up to you!”

    “I don’t care if it catches up to me, I don’t care if I lose my life, I don’t care if I lose you! This treasure is more important than any of that.”

    “What did you just say?” You looked more hurt than you ever had.

    John B didn’t think twice. “You heard me. You’re not helping me anymore. There’s no reason for you to be around. I want you and your stuff gone by the time I get back.” He opened the door to the Twinkie.

    “John.” You called to him but he didn’t look at you as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

    The next time he spared you a glance was through his rear view mirror. You had tears in your eyes as your knees hit the ground.

    John B burst up in bed with a loud gasp. He ripped off his blankets because he was about to run back to you--he couldn’t bare to see you crying like that--but he felt a hand on his arm. The sensation caused another gasp in his lungs even though they were busy catching his breath. John B looked over to the side of the bed the arm came from and saw your barely awake form.

    “Johnny?” your sleep-filled voice called out to him.

    “Y/n?” John B leaned down and seized your cheek with his hand.

    Your eyes were barely open, and you were blinking a lot from sleep. You responded, “Yeah...What’s wrong baby?”

    The fact that it was just a dream finally hit John B. He gave you a quick kiss, then buried his face in the crook of your neck. “Thank god. I thought I had lost you.”

    You started to gain some awareness as well. “You didn’t. I’m here. What happened?”

    “I had a dream. We got into a fight over my obsession with the treasure. I kicked you out.”

    “John--”

    He looked at you. “I said so many hurtful things to you--”

    “John B.” You brushed some hair out of his face. “It’s not real. It was all a dream.”

    He hid his face in the crook of your neck again. “I’m sorry.”

    “It’s okay, it’s okay,” you comforted him. You pulled him away from you and pressed your forehead against his. “I love you,” you told him.

    He smiled. “I love you, too.”

    “Let’s go back to sleep, yeah?”

    John B nodded and settled on top of your chest.

    You wrapped him up in your arms, and kissed his head before falling back asleep.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[daily-rikukingdomhearts]

I AM SUPER SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU im trying to get back into Kingdom hearts (your art is really cute btw) im trying to make an AU but i have no fucking idea where Kairi's body went when she lost her heart in KH1 when her heart's with Sora later Riku finds her body and he has it WHERE DID HER BODY GO? i saw a reddit post where somebody said Maleficent found her body and her body probably went to hollow bastion because that was radiant garden BUT HOW DID HER BODY GET THERE?? i forgot a lot of things maybe i can figure it out myself? but if you have an answer that would help me

I love asks ☝️🫵 you are not a bother! And thank you for the compliment. As customary, I have to post a Riku photo due to the nature of this blog:

As for your question:

I truly have no fucking clue 😬 I looked and looked and I couldn't find anything!!!! I looked in the manga, light novel, the wiki, and cross referenced with other kh experts but didn't come up with anything canon. Here's a BEST LOGICAL GUESS...:

Since Maleficent is collecting the princesses of heart she most definitely found Kairi

If it was in Hollow Bastion or Neverland, I don't know. Hollow Bastion used to be Radiant Garden and Kairi is from there so she probably ended up there like Riku did at the beginning of kh1 because, remember, Riku didn't end up in Traverse Town like Sora. The reason I'm thinking Neverland is so Maleficent can manipulate Riku. Again, she's gathering the princesses of heart, Riku wants his friends back together, he's been manipulated into thinking that Sora has replaced him, and he just had a major blow to the ego in Traverse Town. It's possible that Maleficent tells Riku that Kairi is in Neverland so he can play hero and save her, that way he can be more easily controlled. Those are two options.

It's just ... Hard to say. Because they don't really care about Kairi. The only people who care are Shiro Amano (the manga author) and half of the fandom. They really just halfheartedly throw her in the dumpster in every game which is a shame! She could be a great character.

As for how her body got there! I dunno! Kingdom Hearts is weird. Like here's a flow chart that my experts and I discussed:

Both Kairi and Sora are the only people who could keep living along side their nobodies. However when their nobodies "woke up" they were in completely different places than expected, Naminé being at Castle Oblivion and Roxas being in Twilight Town.

Personally! And just personally! I think it has something to do with your heart like how much dark and light it has in it, etc. Depending on that factor, that's where you get spit out. I could be 100% wrong though.

The nice part about AUs is that you can kinda do whatever the fuck you want... I have an AU where I kept the world system and keyblades and changed everything else cause no one can stop me. If you want Kairi in Hollow Bastion, slay! If you want her in Neverland, cool! If you want to ignore this post, even better! Do what you want! I hope you get back into kingdom hearts!

[marciaillust]

Hi!! This has probably already been asked but I can’t find anything on it. Do you have any plans to continue with the clockmaster?? I really enjoyed reading it and would love to see more of it if you’re wanting to do anything more with it!! No worries if not though, I just thought it was really funky and it made my brain happy :))

Hi!

Yes, The Clockmaster is absolutely gonna continue!

The reason I stopped making The Clockmaster is a series of events, the major one being that 3 years ago I suffered an arm injury that came with 24/7 chronic pain, which really took a toll on me and my relationship with drawing. For a period of time I couldn't create and after that drawing anything came with soul destroying pain which made it impossible to create new pages on a weekly basis. I am still dealing with it but after 3 years of physio and what not I am doing better than ever, and as you might have seen I'm even making comics again :)

I know the comic's been gone for quite some time but I have not lost any interest in making it. More than that, during my break I learned a lot about storytelling, making comics, making my process more efficient among many other things, so I'd like to think when TCM comes back it will be a delightful read haha! I hope the two bigass doujinshis I created during the break stand as a proof of that!

However, when it comes back The Clockmaster will definitely be released in a new format - I don't think I will be doing weekly updates anymore, I will be releasing it in chapters. Longer breaks, but each update will be a nice lengthy read. The main reason for that is that having created two whole comic books during my time away I learned I find it so much easier, more enjoyable and preferable to create and finish comics in their entirety prior to anyone seeing them. I think the doujinshis have much better pacing, the economy of storytelling comes into play big time, and the emotional buildups and payoffs land way better. I want that for The Clockmaster! I want it to be excellent! I want to see the whole dang forest and not just the trees :)

However, to be completely honest, the earliest Clockmaster will come back is winter 2024. The reason for that is so far my schedule is looking positively packed for the upcoming months. Firstly, I want to conclude the 2nd asoryuu doujinshi extravaganza and I predict the last orders will be sent out in March. After that I will be moving between countries. I don't want to disclose too much info about my private life but many things will change for me and things will be hectic at least until August if not September 2024. As I said, I want to release The Clockmaster in bigger chunks now, so the chunk will have to be drawn. That will take months. But it's coming back! Meet me here same time next year and Orion, Rosie and Garret will be right there with me!!

Lasty, to conclude this essay of an answer: Thank you for saying you enjoyed reading it. The Clockmaster is something very dear to my heart and even though I am creating it for myself there is this worrying voice at the back of my head that when it comes back noone will care, that it's been 3 years and everyone forgot, and that it's not fandom stuff so noone will give it the time of the day. But hearing you say you enjoyed reading it makes me feel that art is timeless in its ability to make people feel something and that I am capable of creating of art that does just that :)