#this is rough as in 'I didnt bother making the details look nice also its pencil stuff'
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llitchilitchi · 1 year ago
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some rough concept art for the throne room in Monarchy Restoration AU
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comicteaparty · 5 years ago
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September 2nd-September 8th, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from September 2nd, 2019 to September 8th, 2019.  The chat focused on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova.
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RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova~! (https://tapas.io/series/hiadw)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until September 8th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!
QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?
QUESTION 2. Given many of the characters deal with some sort of trauma, whose trauma stands out to you the most? What do you think the comic can show us in regards to how we deal with trauma in real life?(edited)
RebelVampire
QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?
QUESTION 4. Do you think the Keld Ores can be trusted, or was Angelo right about him being dangerous? Why do you think Mute is sheltering him, and what consequences will the others face for bringing him to Mute?
RebelVampire
QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?
QUESTION 6. Who do you think Roara is accused of having killed, and what does this have to do with her ex? How do you think she wound up friends with Cane, and what do you think her role in the story will be now that she’s free?
RebelVampire
1) my favorite scene is probably the couch scene where Angelo and Kipu were getting intimate. It was nice to see this sort of character development since it was a stark contrast to how everything started. And I liked just how concrete it was despite both being kind of unsure where to take things. A lot of respect going around and just overall, the scene gave me warm fuzzies and gave me hope they could both have actual relationships with other ppl despite trauma. 2) I think Roara's trauma is what stood out the most to me. While only some people have to ever deal with the sort of physical issues like part of what Kipu suffers, I think everyone has been in some position to Roara's, at least on the level of being accussed of something they didn't do and being punished for it. That can be hardcore emotional trauma. In regards to what the comic can show us about dealing with trauma, I think that everyone handles it differently. Some people need revenge (even if that's not the healthiest), some people need time, some people need hugs, some people just want to be left alone, etc. Trauma manifests differently for everyone, and some people just handle it better than others. So ya gotta have patience and an open mind to spot it.
3) My favorite character is definitely Kipu. I like the concept that Kipu has to speak through text in short statements to convey whatever Kipu is trying to say. And I like to see how that, gestures, and other stuff are integrated to create a character who, while on the quieter side, can be just as vocal and opinionated as anyone else. Plus, I've enjoyed Kipu's backstory so far the most, cause Kipu strikes me as the most sympathetic so far.
4) I think Ores is kind of in between. Like I don't think Ores will randomly go murder hobo and is a nice person. But do I believe Ores is dangerous and is willing to kill to protect certain people's lives over others? Damn straight I do. Ores, regardless of the niceness, seems to have an agenda, and people will agenda's are generally gonn do some bad things in the name of those agendas. Mute...I'm gonna be honest. I get the impression Mute was paid to shelter Ores, but also secretly supports whatever it is Ores is trying to achieve. And I think this will come bite Mute in the butt when people come for Ores and probably destroy everything Mute has tried to build because desperation and murder don't mix well.
5) My favorite illustration so far is probably this city scape https://tapas.io/episode/1188947 I love the muted color scheme so that there can be glowing highlights, expressing the nightlife atmosphere that is taking over the city. I also love the variety in building shapes going on, cause it gives the place a lot of character as well. 6) I got the impression Roara was accused of killing her ex, perhaps by someone she knew and who had enough power to get away with it. And given it's her ex, Roara of course was prime suspect and its one of those cases where the police shrugged and didnt bother looking for anyone else. Given Roara's personality, I feel like she took pity on Cane when Cane first showed up at the prison and just kind of mother henned/big sistered herself in there out of pity. And then that pity turned to a lot of love and care to want to protect Cane who seemes kind of innocence. As for her future role, I get the impression she's gonna be on the wrong side of the law cause she seems like she'd go where Cane goes, and Cane is probably gonna switch side at the rate the flashbacks are going. XD
RebelVampire
QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?
QUESTION 8. Why do you think the Keld are attacking people and causing destructive and deadly incidents? What does this have to do what the senators are doing that is supposedly very risky?
Attila Polyák
Finally I got around to reading a comic here... 1, Llama alien family visit! The entire visit there is just so wholesome, even though they are clearly in a rather rough situation. And they are soo adorable. 2, There's a... I'd prefer not to. So with the first part of the question unceremoniously skipped. People are different. Their circumstances, good and bad, are also different. It's no surprise that people react to the same event(s) differently. People can, and most often do, try to understand each other but seeing and understanding how someone else deals with negativity in general in life is very iffy. You are not them, you might on an intellectual level understand that something really bad happened to them, but without their experiences and way of thinking... The best you can do is try which I guess doesn't sound too promising, but it's still a lot better than being left in the darkness. 3, Kipu. He's awesome! His way of communicating, his backstory (or what we know about it so far), his choice of clothes. Everything about him is just so intriguing. I'm looking forward to learning more about his past the most. 4, I think Ores is dangerous, but despite that he can still be trusted. He feels like someone who can go to extreme lengths for what he believes in. And I think This is the reason why Mute shelters him. Their longer term goals I feel are not the same, but I also think those goals might align one way or another.
snuffysam
1) I agree with @RebelVampire - the scene where Angelo and Kipu are opening up to each other is my favorite. It's just beautiful to see how far they've come since the start of the story! For the record, that's also my answer to (7). Angelo is of course a sass-master to Kipu, but it's the moments where Kipu returns fire that really sell the relationship. For 6) - while I agree Roara probably became friends with Cane because she wanted to protect him, I also get the impression that she has also been bailed out by Cane a couple times. Perhaps she tangled with someone too big for her and Cane had her back?
RebelVampire
QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?
QUESTION 10. What do you think Angelo/Kilene’s relationship with Prince is, and what exactly is Prince trying to protect Angelo/Kilene from? What is Angelo/Kilene’s story in general, and what is the patch showcased several times in the story?
RebelVampire
7) I definitely enjoy seeing Kipu and Angelo interact the most. Once again, I really like the development that goes with their relationship as they find common bonds despite basically despising each other beginning. And character growth is fun to watch. 8) I get the impression that the Keld know what the senators are up to and are trying to get people's attention and stop it. And people only pay attention when things get crappy, or something like that. As for what the senators are doing, I'm not entirely sure. Although I'm sure it's very illegal whatever it is, probably gonna chop down some liberties. Maybe they're secretly genociding the Keld or something like that. Either way, don't trust politicians.
9) I really love some of the details for the world building. For example, how different species have different naming structures. It's just one of those nice little details that really makes a species feel like a different species that developed its own non-earth culture. And it's details like these a lot of people neglect since they aren't always that important. Still, it's really great to see and adds some depth to the world. 10) I get the impression that Angelo and Prince dated before and had a mutual split. Maybe due to potential family pressures. That or they're brothers. One of the two. Either way they give off the vibe they were close and known each other for years. I get the impression that Angelo ran away though, and Prince is protecting Angelo from the repercussions from that. As for Angelo's story in general, maybe a rich kid, got into drugs, had health issues, rebelled against family. He strikes me very much as the type to have rebelled against everyone cause he didn't want to fit anybody's mold.
Attila Polyák
5, The funeral sequence is probably my favorite illustration (as morbid as that sounds). https://tapas.io/episode/522887 Just not just shows how funeral ceremonies are held, but also how important that death was in the earlier parts of the comic. The page not just looks great but also enhances previous pages by giving extra context. It's both beautiful in a grandiose way and plot important. 6, I absolutely agree with @RebelVampire about Roara. I think she's accused of killing her ex, however that couldn't be further from the truth. As for Cane. I just feel like he's a person who's willing to listen (pun absolutely intended, sorry I'm a bad person). Most people wouldn't want to be associated with someone who killed a significant other, Cane, however, I feel like not just listened to her, but believed her, and thus their friendship was formed.(edited)
Attila Polyák
7, That's a bit odd. I'm not really much of a fan of Angelo, yet whenever he interacts with literally anyone it's just... I donno, somehow charming and interesting. 8, When I read the talk about the risky stuff the senators are doing I for some reason almost immediately jumped to the conclusion that they are trying to build the Sybil System from Psychopass or something very similar. I think it's rather understandable why some would be against a system that judges you for stuff you didn't do and makes your most important life decisions instead of you (not that there are no advantages to a system like that but you know... the downsides are also obvious).  Aaaand... While I have no rational reason to expect this to be the case, I still do and I also have a feeling that the Kled know about this somehow and are trying to prevent it. Probably one of their leaders was scouted for this plan and this leader said no. Thus the Kled had an opportunity to know about what's going to happen and they believed it, but the rest of the world didn't and that's because of a simple reason: The senat obviously has power, possibly enough to turn the truth into a ridiculed rumor.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.
QUESTION 12. What do you think happened to Kipu and Naia, especially given they both have severe physical trauma? Overall, what do you think will be the consequences of Kipu and Cane/Naia reuiniting for everyone else in the story?
RebelVampire
QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?
QUESTION 14. Now that Prince is free to pursue Ores, what do you think will happen to Nkapu and the rest of the crew? Will they be able to get out of the situation, or will their deeds catch up to them? In general, where do you think the story goes from here?
Attila Polyák
9, What stuck me most is how architecture looks. Yes it's futuristic as it's expected to be, but different locations, cities, villages in different places look well... Different. 10, I have the feeling that they were together in the past, both from a relatively wealthy background, but Angelo somehow thumbled down the social ladder around the same time when they broke up. Ultimately I feel like the two are unrelated, and Prince is still trying to support Angelo one way or another. 11, The scenery is gorgeous. Especially the colors during sunset/sunrise. Really eye catching. Actually... Not just the landscapes, but backgrounds in general are really well drawn and just good to look at. 12, I'm really unsure, but I have a feeling the connected events in their past happened while Kipu was attending the academy. 13, Kipu's backstory. I usually am a sucker for good backstories, but since his seems to conenct to the rest of the story in multiple different points I'm genuinely curious how both his relationships and the past events turn out. 14, In short I feel Prince will successfully go after Ores and a confrontation seems to be inevitable. However I'm really unsure as to the extent of this confrontation. Like... Mute is ultimately not just the captain of a ship, but basically the leader of a small city. We clearly see that Prince is in command of a lot of people, but Mute and co also seem to be a more than just a few and while they are not as well equipped as Prince. At this point I feel like the real question is, how much is Ores worth and how far are they willing to go to get him.
RebelVampire
11) In my opinion the strength is probably the mesh between world and characters. When it comes to world-building, that can be an intense process. The more you develop, the more the "character" of the world can be to overshadow the actual characters. However, this comic finds a great balanced between being detailed yet having the story strictly remain about the character's and their struggles. Which creates an all around better reading experience. 12) Honestly, Kipu and Naia probably got into a war since ya know, that's kind of what they're training for. And no one expects war to be as shit as it usually turns out to be. So probably big devastating battle where everyone was scattered and everyone was just assumed dead. As for consequences about them reunited, I don't think any of Kipu's friends will care, but I think it's gonna be a big deal for Roara. She doesn't strike me as the trusting kind of person.
13) I am actually looking forward to seeing where Angelo goes from here since the comic pulled a red herring and Kipu's group is more or less probably gonna ditch Angelo now (since most never liked Angelo anyway). So I want to see what Angelo's role will transform to be now. 14) Everybody is screwed. That is what's going to happen. Things will come to a head cause Mute's group, and by association Nkapu's group, don't send a chance even if the might be able to runaway for a while. And I think this will drive Ores into a corner and cause much destruction and feelings of regret.
Jurinova
Hey, author of HiaDW here! Just wanted to drop by and say that reading all these comments has been wonderful and very insightful! It's interesting to see how different people read different characters and situations, not to mention how spot on some of the analysis were. Thank you so much to all who read the comic and commented!
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Home is a Distant Wish this week! Please also give a special thank you to Jurinova for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Home is a Distant Wish, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/hiadw
Jurinova’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jurinova
Jurinova’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/jurinova
Jurinova’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/jurisaur
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dangkinronpa · 8 years ago
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headcanons for a trans boy saihara who dated kiibo
heres ur headcanons saihara! i wanna let u know that i, myself, am not trans, and if that bothers u please just let us know and we can redo these! i hope u like them, though, and if u want something changed or added just let us know - mod kiibo - when saihara first told the people he cared about that he was trans, they were all a bit shocked. after all the time they spent with saihara, they couldnt believe that they didnt know this important detail about him? everyone promises to do their best to make sure saihara feels as comfortable as he can in his own skin - one of the main reasons kiibo and saihara actually met was because of saiharas coming out. kiibo actually approached saihara and asked him what exactly being trans was, and upon saiharas explanation it all seemed to click into place for kiibo. after that, kiibo started talking to saihara more often and asking more questions - when saihara actually asked kiibo why he spent so much time asking saihara questions about his gender, kiibo actually got a bit embarrassed, and explained that as a robot he doesnt completely understand gender, and a lot of other human things, and that he thinks that saihara is really smart and helpful. so saihara decides to let kiibo keep asking him questions - eventually, saihara notices that kiibo is actually really cute. he has a cute personality. saihara doesnt even realize hes developed a crush on the robot until he notices that when he talks to kiibo, he gets really nervous and feels his face heating up whenever kiibo treats him nicely - when the two of them start dating, though, their relationship is actually pretty sweet. the two of them hold hands a lot, since kiibo isnt really sure how love works and really wants to practice hand holding. kiibo isnt very good at holding hands, but saihara wants to teach him the proper way to do it no matter how long it takes - when saihara is having a rough time and is starting to feel a bad dose of dysphoria, kiibo tries his best to make sure that saihara is feeling alright. he isnt the best when it comes to actually knowing what to say to comfort saihara, but saiharas very appreciative of his efforts to make sure hes okay - one day, saihara and kiibo are on a date and saihara is eating ice cream. kiibo asks him what ice cream actually tastes like since he cant eat it, and saihara thinks itll be cute to give him his first kiss in order to show him. however, kiibo just goes on a tangent about how that wasnt ice cream and how he isnt sure what saihara is even doing and saihara almost wants to cry - saihara is the one trying to ease kiibo into trying other forms of pda, since he isnt sure kiibo actually knows how to show affection properly. kiibo, on the other hand, would be absolutely fine practicing hand holding until he gets it absolutely perfect, so its probably a good thing that saihara is trying to expand his horizons - as curious as kiibo is about learning more about saiharas gender and about being human in general, saihara is also pretty interested in learning more about how kiibo actually functions. because of this, the two can spend whole dates just staying with each other and explaining their lives and learning about the other and being amazed at their existence - even though saihara is far from being comfortable with himself in any sense of the word, spending time with kiibo and helping him learn about the world around him and seeing the look of amazement in his eyes always makes saihara feel just a little bit better about himself
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Need braces insurance in california?
"Need braces insurance in california?
im trying to get braces and i need an insurance company that could help me pay for my braces.. please refer something to me thank you...    im in souther california
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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I'm 18 years old and currently have my driver's license and pay car insurance on it under my parents insurance plan. I want to know if it's possible to sell my car and stop paying for the car insurance. Is it possible to have a drivers license, but not be paying for insurance? I wont be driving any cars, I'm going to get a motorcycle. I live in Florida.""
Auto Insurance company is refusing to cover my rental car. What can I do to fight this?
Exactly a week ago I was involved in an accident at the fault of another driver. The other driver's insurance company (USAA) has been sitting on the case not doing a damn thing. I had to call them yesterday just to get them to read my accident report, and accept liability. They hadn't even contacted the policy holder! They told me that they would set me up with a rental car, and cover the fees. Today I went to Enterprise to pick up the rental car and was asked if the insurance company (USAA) had mentioned anything about a underage bracket fee. When I told them that they hadn't, the woman at enterprise contacted USAA. It was then that they stated that they would not pay for the underage fee (I am 19), which is about $22 per day. Naturally, I was completely outraged. Both my insurance company and USAA's offices are closed at this time, so I have to wait until tomorrow to contact them. I was told by my agent that because the accident wasn't my fault, ANY cost that is a result of the accident MUST be covered by the other driver's insurance company. What can I do about this? I don't have the money to pay for the fee, but I need the transportation. I've already been without transportation for a week.""
Can I insure a car that is registered and has license plates from arizona?
I live in California and am about to buy a car that has its license plates from arizona and is registered there as well. Would i Be able to insure it? And if not what would the process to get it good over here? Just so you know, Its a 1995 Nissan Altima, and is going for $1500.""
Obama plans to fine people that don't buy affordable health insurance?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090703/ap_on_go_co/us_health_care_overhaul is this ethical
Advice between life insurance and medical insurance?
I have 24 yrs old and am hesitating between life insurance which propose a cash back bonus of 25 % every 5 years on a 30 yr term policy and a usual medical insurance.? The premium cost for both are a little bit similar.
To get maturnity insurance or not?
I am currently 29 years old and just recently married. I have come to a decision I have to make on my health insurance. I am not planning on getting pregnant for at least the next 2 years. So do I or do I not take the maturnity insurance. It would be a differance of 140.00 a month! Crazy since I am on the pill trying not to get pregnant. But it is still possible to get pregnant on the pill, but highly unlikely. So my question is do I take it to be on the safe side or waive it until it gets closer to that time. Money is tight and I hate to sink money into something I will hopefully not need. Any views on the situation would be much appreciated. Thnx.""
Car Insurance?
Im Thinkin Of Buyin My First Car, but my Insurance Is costing 4000, my mates is getin it for 1300, when i tried the same insurance company as him, i got 2500, How could i lower this?""
""What exact is whole life insurance, and how do life insurance companies profit from selling it?""
Agents are always extremely keen about selling my family whole life insurance instead of term. According to the agents, whole life is preferable to term since it does not expire and as a result the beneficiary is guaranteed some payment upon the death of the insured. However, why would the insurance company profit from such a setup if they are bound to pay back an amount that is at least equal to the total amount paid? I have tried to do some research on my own, but I still can't seem to fully understand this matter. Any help will be greatly appreciated!""
""New Car, Driver's Test, Proof of Insurance?""
My Dad bought me a car about three days ago and the dealership said they will insure the car for 14 days while my dad gets insurance through his company. I might take my driver's test tomorrow and I want to use this car for it. If I show the dmv the insurance papers the dealership gave me, will that count as proof of insurance for my road test? Thank you.""
""My mustang was totaled, and now has been auctioned ,how do I get the miledge for the Insurance company?""
Im having a time with my insurance company,my mustang was torched by some thuds,I guess fro fun,It was a 2004,fresh off the show room,Im the only owner,I had very low miledge, I didnt drive her much due to taking care of my disabled husband, 40 th anniversary special, pony package and a few more items on it,red,beautiful car well taken care of. This is the problem, My insurance wants proof of the miledge,I kept my documents in the car, they had someone pick up my car and had it auctioned off,now I need to find out where the car is,I sure it was sold for parts, I need the miledge off the car,proof of the miledge.Insurance is offering me a lower price because a vehicle of that year compared to their reports have alot of miledge,well mine didnt.I am so upset because they never had someone come and look at the car,they could have gotten the milege with a little work removing the screen, can some one give me some advice,thanks""
Is it possible for me (a 17 year old) to get put on my dads insurance to drive his car? ?
If so how do i do it and how much would it cost :o?
Where can I get an insurance quote?
I want to get an insurance quote on my car but every site I go to asks me for a lot of information such as address, name and other personal things. Is this how you have to do it? Or is there a site where you just type in your birthday and info about your car? I just want an approximate quote. I'm only 16 and would be insuring a 1974 Ford Mustang II with a v6. How much do you think that would be? Whats the best site for quotes?""
When was car insurance for teens increased?
I was wondering how long and in what year was car insurance for teens increased? links would be very helpful... Thanks All!
What's the difference between disability insurance and disability benefits?
What's the difference between disability insurance and disability benefits?
Help Buy Auto Insurance!?
Hi, Just bought a care and now as a second step looking for a auto insurance, must be cheap, reliable and have a good history of dealing with auto insurance. Regards!""
Need braces insurance in california?
im trying to get braces and i need an insurance company that could help me pay for my braces.. please refer something to me thank you...    im in souther california
Do I need to have insurance or proof of insurance when renting a car?
I'm planning on making a trip to Chicago. I have been wanting to go on a road trip for a long time. And I am afraid of taking a bus or going on a plane. A plane ticket costs a little bit too much for me. I'm 21. I currently do not own a vehicle of my own. So I am considering renting a car. I'm just wondering if I have to have car insurance in order to rent a car. I've never done this, so I have no idea what kind of things are required in order for me to rent. I've got my driver's license and a clean driving record. I don't have a line of credit. I don't have any credit cards so I hope there's no credit checks involved. Also, what's a rental car service that you would recommend? One that is cheap, honest, reliable, etc. My budget is $300. I'm going to meet a friend in Bartlett who is going to help provide me with lodgings so my only expenses to consider besides the car, are fuel and food costs. Thanks.""
How much should I expect my car insurance to increase?
I got a 34 in a 25 in Virginia. I'm 19, and this was my first offense. Currently, I'm on as an occasional driver because I'm usually at college. Thanks.""
Why is it that the Republicans Party Sucks up so much to the Insurance Companies?
???
Is there an insurance company who will insure a Dutch car?
I have just moved back to England after spending 11 years in Holland and i have a very nice car which i dont want to sell. I have changed my Dutch driving license to english and would like to know if there is an insurance company who will insure my dutch registered car. If so i can then make an appointment to have the headlights changed. Thanks for your time. Sue.
Cheaper Insurance on Mitsub evo?
Im looking into buy an Mitsubishi EVO 8 but the insurance will be way too expensive. If i finance it and put the car in my moms name and the insurance in her name could i save money(my moms like 54). My insurance company says i can use other peoples cars as long as i have a policy myself which i do. How much do some of you people pay?
How much will my insurance go up after a minor accident and a aspeeding ticket?
I live in California and in the past 4 months I got in a Fender bender(10MHP and the Guy is claiming bodily injuruy awell.) and In November I got a speeding ticket. But I am unable to attend traffic school cause I fought the ticket. I'm 19 My moms the main insurer on the car and its a sports car. Any idea how much will my insurance will go up? Any Ideas? I might have to sell my car if its too much. I have insurance through Geico.
Question about State Health Insurance and marriage in Connecticut?
I am 20 years old and 10 weeks pregnant with my fiance's child. The only reason we didn't get married a while ago is because of health insurance. He's covered on his father's plan until he's 26 IF he doesn't marry. Well, now that I'm pregnant, I was told if we aren't married, the state will come after him for child support- not to mention that I want to marry him, anyway. We've been engaged for a year and a half. I have state insurance, and everything with the pregnancy is covered, but what happens if we get married? He'll lose his insurance. Is there a state insurance plan for the entire family in CT? A plan that he can be covered on once we are married?""
""Hi,argos 3 year insurance cover?""
I'm asking about the insurance cover on some earphones,say if they are damaged within one year then they would be replaced under the manufacturers one year guarantee,what would happen to my insurance cover? would I be refunded the insurance as my earphones would be replaced anyway/ Thanks in advance :)""
Can I put my boyfriend of 3 years on my health insurance (provided by employer) in the state of Florida?
I work for a great company that provides health & dental insurance from the very first time you start the job. My boyfriend of three years that I live with, does not have any ...show more""
Young Drivers: How much did you pay for car insurance?
Hello all, I'm trying to find out the average cost of car insurance in the UK or Ireland for a political debate on the subject and was wondering if young drivers (provisional license) could provide some. Thanks very much!""
Needing to find insurance/medicade/health care that will help a old man with cancer that dosent have any..?
my moms trying to help him by getting him on her health insurance, but it looks like the only way to do that is by mariage and she really doesnt want to marry the guy. looking for ...show more""
Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate?
Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate i have 2000 Toyota
No medical insurance?
I had pain in my lower right abdomen in january for 7 days. I went to the ER because I don't have medical insurance and someone told me they are good at working payment arrangments. I just got a bill for over 5 thousand dollars in the mail. I called and they said they would send me the paper work via mail to apply for payment arrangments, but I couldn't set it up over the phone. My question is, how good are hospitals (mine is in California) at working with people who don't have medical insurance and have a limited income? I am a full time graduate student so this may be difficult to pay back..""
""What is classic car insurance, what cars are eligable and how much would it cost?""
basically i was told that classic car insurance is dead cheap and im a first time driver at the age of 18 and was wounderung how mcuh it would cost?, what cars are eligable ? and is this a cheaper option also my favorite car is vw golf mk 2 gti would this car be eligable for this insurance seen as tho it is quite an old car""
Can I drive my mom's car without having insurance?
So I am 16 and don't have a learner's permit. My friend who is 19 has his license and has been using his mom's car for years. He keeps telling me to get my permit. My mom says it will double her insurance bill but he says his mom doesn't pay anything extra. Or he doesn't even have insurance. I don't know anything about this and legalities of everything so...lamest terms please.
Rent insurance for tenants?
I am soon to be renting a property with my fiancee and I want to find out about rent insurance. I found a company online that provides insurance for tenants that pays the rent in case of job loss, etc. but now I can't find it. Do such companies exist, and where can I get such insurance? Can anyone recommend any?""
Question regarding Car Insurance Policies?
What if someone who was a driving a commercially insured vehicle (company car) hit me yet the person who was driving the car was not an employee and thus not covered by the insurance? Will the person still be held liable and will the insurance pay for my damages? Sources are appreciated. Thank you in advance
Hayabusa Mini Insurance. (Kit car?)?
I am a young driver and I was hoping to buy a Mini with a Hayabusa engine from someone like Z-Cars. I have heard that some people have got cheap insurance for them. I have heard of a 17 year old who had just passed his test got insured for a hayabusa mini for 1500 which is cheap for a 17 year old. I was just wondering if there is anyone has insured a Hayabusa or similar Mini for road use. If so how much was it and from which insurance company? Thanks
Health Insurance Help for Visitors?
my family is visiting us in california and need medical visit. they have visitors insurance which says that we need to pay for our visit now and they will evaluate and reimburse us. do these insurances reimburse anything and everything? what is a hospital/clinic to visit for visitors around southern california? how is kaiser?
How much will it cost....?
I live in Hemet , Southern California. I have a 9 month old son. He will be nursed until 24 months, However, he does eat some solid foods. I my boyfriend and I rent an appartment for $750- How much would our monthly income need to be to support our family? How much is utilities in my area? How much do you spend on gas? How much is car insurance? How much is it to get my car smoged? How much are monthly groceries? What other bills am I missing? Please help!""
How to get cheap car insurance?
i want to know that how to get cheap first car insurance in u.k?
Cost of SR22 insurance in Texas?
Anybody knows the cost of SR22 insurance in Texas?
Is their a mazda 6 with low insurance in florida?
what year? model?
How do i set up a car insurance company?
im looking to set up a car insurance company in the uk. I am quite business minded but am not in a position to be spending thousands of pounds to set it up. would be greatful of any info on how I go about things thanks
What does term life insurance cover?
does term life insruance cover any death. Like lets say there is an earthquake and the insured dies.. would the term insurance cover it? or does the insured have to die of old age?
Need braces insurance in california?
im trying to get braces and i need an insurance company that could help me pay for my braces.. please refer something to me thank you...    im in souther california
How much does insurance usually pay off if your car is deemed totaled?
Ok, so, my car incurred some damage due to the recent flood waters of hurricane Ike. A person from Safe Auto insurance company is coming out tomorrow to assess the damage. When we spoke to him over the phone, he said it sounded like our car would end up being deemed totaled. There is still amount owed on the car. If we were to pay it off tomorrow it would be $3100. The value on the car varies from tprivate party value in good condition being $3900 to retail value being $5600 in our area. We have a $500 deductible. Now, if the car is infact totaled, how does the insurance pay out?""
Is it possible to get 3rd party insurance for an unregistered car?
I know it is pointless since being an unregistered car it would not be covered during an accident on the road, but will the insurance company approve 3rd party insurance on a car that is unregistered?""
Can a health insurance company abroad outside the USA look up my health insurance information ?
If I provide them with my insurance policy and other info can they look up my health insurance information?
If I have my license but do not own a car do I need car insurance?
I am planning on getting my drivers license this summer and do not have my own car. I would be using my parents car (that's insured) until I get my own. Would I need to have insurance for myself or is it enough that the car I would be driving is insured?
Will the healthcare reform change the age limit on children on parents insurance?
I'm 25 and one of the great things about the affordable care act was that I was allowed on my parents insurance until I'm 26... Will this change? I'm still in school and there is no way I can afford insurance on my own!!!
How much is for all tests for motorcycle and insurances?
Hi, im trying to get a motorcycle unless next year.. I know there are 3 types of M licence.. but how much to take each tests? and if i get M1 licence do i need to practice to take a M2 road test? but i know how to drive manual motorcycles i used to have motorcycle b4 after i've got M1 licence can i just go straight for road test? i heard there are many differences fees for insurance depends on company and use freeway or not plz can you tell me which company is cheapest without freeway? and price of each licence test ;; thank you""
2.5% tax penalty if you don't have health insurance?
There is a section on page 297 of the health care bill... which you can read here: http://docs.house.gov/rules/health/111_ahcaa.pdf It states plainly that any individual who does not have acceptable health insurance during any part of the year will be imposed a tax equal to 2.5% of their yearly adjusted gross income. My question is what the heck is that about? What has our government come to if they can legally punish people for not getting their own health insurance??
Insurance when buying 1st car?
How do i go about buying a car (private or dealer) without insurance to test drive it 1st, as i'll only get insurance once i know what car i will have (i live in the UK).""
""Healthcare insurance is a good and necessary product, that can literally save your life...?
...in many situations. Why are Conservatives playing the ridiculous charade that Obama is some horrible tyrant for doing his best to make sure every American has it?
Who can I talk to about insurance?
I am trying to help my boyfriend find some affordable health and dental insurance....I have attempted finding it online and I am overwhelmed...Does anyone know if there is some kind ...show more
What is an annuity insurance?
What is an annuity insurance?
Good affordable auto insurance for highrisk driver PLEASE HELP!!! THANK YOU!?
Good affordable auto insurance for highrisk driver PLEASE HELP!!! THANK YOU!?
""Car Accident, Cheep car, did not go through insurance.?""
Me and my friend were going home. I was being an idiot and tried drifting. I over steered and ended up on top of 2 stumps. The axel broke and the car was not drivable. The cost was only 500 dollars. It was not worth fixing it. I asked him and he said he was fine but his back was little soar. The next day i gave him a call and he said that he will not go to the doctor and that the back will fine, its just a little soar. 2 days after he went to the doctor and told that he got into a car accident. Why in the hell a best friend would do that?... They asked for the insurance information. The medical insurance would not pay for it, thats what he said. The bill came in 2 weeks later for 1700 dollars. What should i do?""
Cheap health insurance?
How can i get very cheap health insurance? i am 18 yrs old, i go to school and i work at a place that doesnt have insurance and i really need to go to get my teeth pulled and i need to go to the doc for my stomach... how can i get free or very cheap health insurance?? cause i have no money!!""
Where can I get affordable liability insurance for small moving company?
I am looking to start a moving business and I need to find reliable and affordable liability insurance.
How does car insurance work?
so how does car insurance really work? im 16 and just got my license my parent's already have insurance on the cars and i plan on driving those cars, but why would i need insurance when those cars are already insured?""
Anyone know a good Renters Insurance Company ?
Live in an Apartment and I would like to purchase some Renters insurance to cover any damages that may happen. I want to make sure it's a good legit company and not some rinky dinky place. Thanks ahead of time for all your answers.
""What is the average cost for an underage driver, with a new car, on their parent's policy?
I am 17 and I am considering getting my license and buying a car. How much is the average price of insurance in my position?
""My brother wrecked my car and the Insurance wont cover it, what can I do?
While I was out of the country my brother wrecked my car and the insurance company wont cover it. I have full coverage and my brother had my permission to be driving my car so how can they refuse to pay?
Teen Car Insurance Question?
I am looking to buy car insurance for my son who will be 16 1/2. Will it be cheaper than the average premium to have him drive a 1995 truck? also... if you have a teen driver how much did it cost to add them to the policy? thank you
Average medical cost of baby first year?
We have a $600 deductable with an 80/20 co-pay for our health insurance. Supposing the baby gets sick one time in the first year & goes to regular checkups, what would the medical expenses be? How much is birth at a hospital with an epidural & 2 day stay? Of course, this is all assuming we have a healthy baby.""
What is the difference between private and public insurance?
I'm doing a report on Japanese economy, and I read something about it having mostly public insurance? What does this mean, and what is that difference? What does having a public insurance do for Japan? Like how does it effect the country?""
Where can I get car hire insurance for USA?
I have been looking everywhere for car hire insurance also known as excess insurance. I can't find anywhere for a 20 year old, I'm 19 now but on our holiday I will be 20 years old. Fox car hire charge nearly $900 for the CDW and recovery fee. E-Z Rent a car will supply a car to an 18 year old but will not supply CDW. Fox have awful reviews so I didn't want to be forced to rent with them. So I figured if I got car rental insurance or excess insurance i could rent with E-Z or rent with fox but not have the CDW totalling up my bill. The annual polices for the excess insurance are around $100 I would happily pay $200 because of my age. I'm also from england not USA but would be renting in USA (Orlando to be particulate). We are renting a Ford Mustang (Convertible class)""
How much is car insurance typically for a 19 year old in Burlington/Montpelier Vermont?
This would be on an independent coverage, not part of parents plan. It would be a Jetta (if that matters at all).""
Cheap car insurance for 17 year old?
Where can I get car insurance for under 1000? Thanks x
Need braces insurance in california?
im trying to get braces and i need an insurance company that could help me pay for my braces.. please refer something to me thank you...    im in souther california
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/average-cost-insurance-andrew-howell/"
0 notes
isaacathom · 7 years ago
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probably the only cool thing that came out of my stupid dr:dawn thing was the whole thing with the three traitors. they were kinda cool. technically 4 if you count the mastermind, but practically 3
like theres the 3 of them. an actor, a director, and an analyst or some kinda iirc. they were best friends while attending the school, the actor and director were basically dating, its all nice. their 4th friend was i think a computer programmer of some kind, and after a series of logic leaps, decides ‘hey time to kill everyone’. and, with a lot of reservations, the three of them go on board. the actor and director know that they can pretend to have no idea whats happening (yknow, because HE is an actor and she must have learnt something from being a director, surely). but the analyst knows she cant. she knows she wouldnt be able to pretend. so she volunteers to go under the memory wipe so she cant give the game away. a/d arent super into the idea, but she goes under, and the game is under way.
within the game, the analyst either comes to believe she has no talent, or is the ultimate luck, idr. the actor and director have to pretend that theyve never met the others, but the whole group accepts that the two already know each other (which was always true). in an effort to make sure noone tries to ask them too many questions (and thus accidentally blurt out smth stupid) the two deliberately adopt sorta awkward personas. he actor (peeeter? peter, i think) deliberately acts the giant jackass, standoffish and aloof, tho its fairly obvious the further the game goes on that he genuinely cares about everyone. its a stereotypical act but its cool. she puts on a more ~quirky~ persona, acting as though the whole thing is just like one of her movies (which isnt TOO far from the truth, technically) which honestly just pisses a lot of people off.
what hurts a/d the most is that they end up pissing off the Analyst, who finds them insufferable, despite the fact they were once best friends. it really hurts, yknow.
the game goes on, people die, all fun. but it gets to a point where the remaining group is rather tightknit (excluding a/d, naturally), and the programmer mastermind gets incredibly bored. and so she reveals the next motive - Peter, the actor, is the prime accomplice to the mastermind.
and god, how much does it hurt to see people he once called friends turned white with fear and then red with anger. watch his girlfriend struggle to convey the correct emotion and just shake in confusion. everyone anger. he just bolts. completely loses it. out the fucking door in a flash. its almost insane how quickly he leaves. mans having a fucking breakdown in that cabin man. holy shit.
so his girlfriend, the director, Ashley, stammers out something about getting the Truth from him, and she leaves after him. their discussion is tough, because what do they do? rose (programmer, iirc) betrayed them. what do they do? dont do anything stupid, he tells her, when she goes to leave. :)
now Ashley knows whats up. by outing peter, he’s been made into a target. he’ll be interrogated, or executed. his death hangs on the wall, slowly ticking along. its only a matter of time. and she wont have that.
so she sets up a plan. she leaves a note on a random table, purportedly from peter, asking someone to meet them down in one of the rooms. peter doesnt leave his cabin, so theres no risk of him finding out about her plan unless someone knocks on his door. noone does. even though she usually gets up first, she deliberately sleeps in to ensure she isnt the first to find it. if questioned, she says she couldnt sleep due to the peter thing. everyone nods understandingly.
its breakfast. the note is gone. someone has it, and wont own up. the discussion at the table is either quiet or centered around what to do about peter. Ashley insists they go easy on him..... he cant be all that bad! they should talk to him! her words fall on deaf ears. but that note didnt.
that night, she hides at the meeting spot. one of the others finally arrives, clutching it. peter? she hides as her victim enters the room. then, bam, sneak out from behind the door, club the fuckers head in IMMEDIATELY. her victim collapses to the floor. its, i think the boxer. as she sets up her crime scene, she realises the cruel irony. that she murdered to save her boyfriend, who she knows was never into the death game idea and was coerced in by herself and rose, and that the person she murdered also had a girlfriend. another player in their game. she’ll be devastated, wont she. wouldnt be the first time a couple was torn apart by murder, she supposes. it cant be all that bad.
her crime scene is meticulously set up. she wants it to be obvious it was her, but not so obvious as to look fake. she finishes, closes the door, and heads back up to her cabin. the day looms.
the girlfriend ends up finding the body, having been told by him the night before that if anything happened, she should look on that floor. its detective and trial time.
peter is practically dragged out of his cabin by said girlfriend, demanding an explanation. he, truthfully, states he knew nothing about the meeting until they mentioned it, and knew nothing about the murder until he was given the case file by monokuma. people dont believe him. Ashley appeals for calm. its rough.
the trial isnt great. the girlfriend has decided that peter MUST be responsible due to the note. the analyst (still believing thats NOT her talent) instead deduces it to be clearly in Ashley’s handwriting, and blah blah. eventually, ashley is convicted, despite peter’s increasingly desperate attempts to reflect the blame back onto himself because of COURSE he cant fucking believe it!!!!! no!!! ashley is found guilty. peter absolutely breaks the fuck down. raw as fuck. no artifice at all, begging ashley for an explanation, a reason. ashley explains to them all that she knew peter would be murdered if she didnt act, blah blah. and then drops the final bombshell. he knows who the mastermind is. and he will tell you. :) smiles directly to camera before shes dragged off to her execution. peter is still absolutely fucking bereft. and like, yea, hes an ACTOR, but its..... very obvious. everyone had already caught on that his bravado was an act, and it had been breaking the entire trial. with each new point of evidence against her his artifice shattered more, until he said some shit that made is VERY obvious he was definitely a non-mind wiped fucker. guy lost his shit. poor guy.
after Ashley’s execution, and monokumas subsequent revelation that hey, ashley was also in on it. funny, that? and, oh, theres still one more left! :3c everyone is a little bit..... stunned, i think. peter goes to leave. likely gets stopped by the analyst, who offers him a tissue of something. dude breaks down again. he’s just having a rough day.
time passes. there are no more murders. peter divulges a lot of stuff, particularly about the years they lost due to the mindwipe. he’s hesitant to talk about rose, and he’s REALLY conflicted about calling out the analyst’s real power.
later later, all the shit ramps up, the analyst’s complicity in the entire thing (and the fact she was weirdly SUPER fucking into it, and that most of the fine details were her idea) is revealed, shit hits fan, eventually everyone kick’s roses ass and leaves.
uhhh tl;dr the 4 best friends set up the death game, with one acting as mastermind, 2 acting as plants, and 1 participating as a clueless fucker with mind wiping and some other memory fuckery (which she actually didnt agree to, funnily enough, and which started to bother ashley and peter when it became obvious she had been ‘tampered’ with). 1 of the plants is betrayed and exposed to the group, and the other plant (his gf) then fucking kills a guy in order to stop the others from being too rash and killing him before he could tell them anything. that was really on it. i really liked Peter and Ashley. i think those were their names. its good fun.
0 notes
anything-advice-blog · 7 years ago
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[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend
i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)
ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.
then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.
anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.
its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.
sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!
so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.
neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!
anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad
like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!
anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.
Hey there!
There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.
You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.
At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.
I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.
As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.
This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.
You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.
I hope this helps!
♥ - Fawn
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