#this is ridiculously long i am sorry

[yudol-skorbi]

FINAL PART 3 OF EDDIE'S UNFORTUNATE CRUSH IS HERE there will be a couple of bonuses in the future by the way

part 1 part 2

[wildsaltair]

BONUS

[ghost-proofbaby]

hey y’all!

so i’ve been considering this a lot in the past few weeks, and figured i’d make an official post so you all know i’m alive and what not since i have been very much inactive as of recently.

i’m taking a break.

not forever! not because of anything in the fandom! this break is solely due to personal life reasons and the fact i just can’t be as active on here right now between my jobs and personal affairs. and it also won’t be long — i’m going to be off here probably through the end of november. if i have the time/mental capacity to come back before then, i absolutely will 🖤 but right now, tumblr isn’t something that fits easily within my days and also, writing for my fics hasn’t been something i can easily do not due to lack of inspiration but lack of time.

again, this is just due to my own personal life currently. nothing happened in the fandom that motivated this decision (i honestly don’t even know what’s happening on here currently solely because i haven’t had the time to scroll lol) and it’s very much not permanent, and will HOPEFULLY be very short. like i said, until the end of november. i’ll still be writing in my free time, and my hope is to be able to update fics once i’m back and worse better than ever! 🖤

see y’all in december <3

[andradrawsstuff]

An in-depth character analysis of Skipper: pt 1

This version of Skipper is probably the simplest since he was comic relief at first, but a bit of a hot take, might actually be my favourite (I prefer the show version of the other three tho). Going back to the movies after years of watching the show, I realised that this version of Skipper is surprisingly… chill? I guess I’ve been so used to his tv personality that my brain just decided to override his movie personality with tv Skipper.

Buckle your seatbelts, this is going to be a long one ☝️🤓

Movie Skipper is quite a nonchalant, carefree and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but calm character. He’s kinda just minding his own business doing his missions. He’s pretty serious when he’s leading his team and planning his missions, eg. the boat hijacking scene, but generally you’ll see him with a smile on his face. He’s always been a suave and charming little guy with a lot of sarcasm and sass, which he wouldn’t be Skipper without.

Generally he takes no bs, is straight to the point, and is pretty blunt, usually to Alex and his bunch. But this is also where his sass and sarcasm starts to show more. It’s funny. I think that Madagascar 2 really shows his charm and sass more out of the three main movies bc of all the chaos.

It’s pretty safe to say that the penguins are chaotic neutrals (apart from Private maybe) but they do it in such a way that makes it really funny. Not only do they trick the tourists and steal their car (ya know, grand theft auto) but also run over the grandma after seeing she’s still alive (ya know, attempted vehicular homicide). I could name every single crime they commit istg and it’s a long list 💀 But anyway, Skipper does all this with such a chill and carefree attitude and simply doesn’t give a shit. It’s what makes him so funny. It’s a big reason why I love this version of him, bc he doesn’t take everything too seriously and just goes about his day like nothing ever happened.

Obviously, he’s not evil and does still care about others, for example when they rescue Alex and his bunch in Madagascar 2 and 3, as well as stopping Dave in their spinoff. But I do think that he has something against humans (which is understandable) bc he seems to have a general disregard for them which is kinda funny.

In Madagascar 3, you start to see a bit of a shift in his personality and he becomes a little more aggressive. I’m guessing it’s because Tom was used to voicing Skipper more aggressively for the tv series and they also probably adopted a bit of tv Skipper into movie Skipper. But he is still generally pretty nonchalant nonetheless. He isn’t as suave as the other two movies either, but he does activate Kowalski’s nuclear reactor just for the funnies so I’ll give him that. The best thing about them here is their interactions with Dubois, the sheer trail of carnage they leave behind wherever they go, and the funny little quips here and there. Can’t forget bababooey.

The penguins spinoff movie brings back a little of Skipper’s charm and swagger, mostly with the “I do things my own way” attitude and him just being an asshole to Classified bc he doesn’t like him. This movie also makes Skipper more tame than the other movies which I don’t mind that much, but I wish he was a little more chaotic neutral rather than so hellbent on being heroic.

But the thing that really solidified Skipper as a complex character was his character development. This is the first time you get to see his vulnerable side and even from the start of the movie you see that he’s actually pretty sweet underneath all that chaos. When they “lose” Private is when you really start seeing Skipper’s full character, going from carefreeness to pure desperation trying to get his little brother back after he gets kidnapped, which I think was a great way to go because it shows how much he loves his family.

Later on he kinda “gives up” and follows the North Wind’s plan, which is one of the only moments you see him completely vulnerable and unmasked - no clever quip, no opposition, just acceptance. A perfect contrast to his usual “never give up, never back down” attitude. I think it adds a lot more realism to his character and shows that the one thing that can break him is losing one of his brothers. This is something that you don’t really see in the show (other than for a short period of time eg. Skorka) which I think would have been a great way to develop his character more.

When they get Private back at the end of the movie, you get to see Skipper’s sweet side again and his character development comes full circle - he learns to stop undermining Private. He realises he was wrong and tries to make it right. In a way, I guess he takes accountability. Which you don’t see all that often in the show, only episodes like Needle Point coming to mind when thinking about it.

I think that this is another big reason why I prefer movie Skipper over tv Skipper - yeah, he’s a bit flawed and a little simpler than tv Skip, but he makes an effort to change in the end which tv Skipper doesn’t do as much. Movie Skipper is nonchalant, sassy, suave and by the end, pretty sweet. I guess you could say he’s pretty well written and honestly I wish we got to see more of his softer side and less paranoid attitude at the end of the show.

That’s not to say I hate tv Skipper tho, when i was a kid I LOVED him a lot more than movie Skip and I still find him rlly funny, I mean Skipper is Skipper haha. I guess my opinion just changed bc I grew up and I started seeing characters differently and started valuing character development a lot more, but who knows, maybe in a year it’ll change again lmao.

I am so sorry this got so out of hand and turned into a mf essay 💀 I promise the other analysis will be shorter 🙏

[necromeowncy]

I've been tanking a lot lately and I like to imagine G'raha's reaction to the role reversal.

[wayward-sherlock]

do you have any fic recs? thank you!

HELLO ANON I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO ANSWERING THIS ASK SINCE I GOT IT (im going to assume you mean byler fics since that is my most recent specialty🫶):

a cruel summer with you by the amazing @campbyler is by FAR one of my all time favorite fics. never in my entire four year fic reading career have i read something that obviously has so much love (and lore) put into it. if you haven’t read it already (or interacted with their blog, which i highly suggest!) this would be one of my first picks! (anything by suni or thea or andi is guaranteed to strike you speechless, though, so definitely check them out as authors, too!)

take a little moment (find the right words) by my lovely friend @astrobei is definitely also in my top all time bc i am SUCH a sucker for college aus it’s not even FUNNY. anything by suni is a banger, honestly, but this one specifically nails the miscommunication/idiots in love trope AND has rotund ducks. what is not to love.

a body in motion (also by @astrobei) is one of the best and most visceral mike character studies i have ever read. i’ve read it twice and the playlist has a permanent place in my spotify library. i don’t think i need to say any more.

sleeping with the lights on by singingseok is another mike character study that tore my heart from my chest and made me watch as it picked it apart and sewed it back together. okay. it’s SO good i highly recommend it for sure!

literally anything by @parkitaco is going to be fantastic, but three of my personal faves are the gaps and the silence, the windows of this love, and you were bigger than the whole sky because apparently i love sobbing into my pillow in the middle of the night. it’s healthy sometimes.

the strawberries are dying by my favorite doopel @lighthouseas is PERFECT if you’re looking for a unique take on byler with a historical spin <3 im a SUCKER for historical aus as well so this great depression fic was so incredibly perfect hehe

landslide by chamb3rs is. it’s so good i don’t even have words. it captures the spirit of senior year of high school so well, especially now that i’m in it lol. anyway, i’ve read this one twice and will continue to read it again for the rest of forever <3

and lastly, if you’re looking for spiderman aus (which i LOVE), look before you leap by lumism, the higher i climb, the farther i fall by @andiwriteordie, and mike wheeler’s guide to falling in love with a superhero by @smoosnoom are all wonderful perfect places to start 💗

i hope this gives you a good place to start anon :3 and also that im not overwhelming you. lol. but feel free to check out my bookmark page here for a more complete list of fics i’ve read!

[gftimelord]

*an orange tabby cat comes running up to ford, and a kid follows close behind, looking annoyed*

Muffin, get back here! You can't stay on the outer edge of the-

*he stops when he spots ford, and his eyes go wide. the cat stops abruptly near fords feet, also staring up at him with wide, yellow eyes that seem vaguely familiar, though one eye appears to be blind. the kid quickly hurries over and scoops up the cat while hes distracted, then beams at ford excitedly*

Hi! Sorry about Muffin, he's a bit of an annoying rascal sometimes. Um...

*he tilts his head*

I'm Edwin. You're a version of Ford, right? You kinda look like a younger version of my d- um, well, my version of you.

*he hesitates for a moment, before speaking again*

He's... my dad, in my dimension. You look a lot like my dad. Yeah.

-@edwin-stanley-pines

*The Doctor, momentarily caught off guard by the small child and his peculiar feline companion, found his gaze drawn downwards. Edwin, with his innocent eyes, clutched Muffin the cat tightly to his chest. Something about the cat made a chill creep down Ford's spine. There was an unsettling sense of familiarity in the furball's lone eye, almost like he had seen that gaze before. But Stanford dismissed the feeling with a casual shake of his head, chalking it up to his ever-persistent paranoia.*

*He smiled warmly at the boy, allowing a touch of amusement to light up his features, though there was a deeper curiosity swirling beneath his composed exterior.*

"Impressive."

*Ford mused aloud, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he glanced back at Edwin.*

"One of my variants has a child of his own."

*The comment was more in jest than anything, spoken with the kind of casual ease that came from years of traversing the multiverse and encountering all manner of strange things. Compared to those wild encounters, the appearance of a wandering child wasn’t exactly earth-shattering. If anything, it was one of the more... manageable surprises.*

*Ford bent down just slightly, enough to gently pat Edwin on the head in an affectionate, almost absentminded gesture, his thoughts already shifting. The child didn’t seem all that strange, save for the cat with the unsettling stare. But what really tugged at his curiosity was the glaring absence of his variant. Where was this supposed father?*

*His eyes darted around the space, scanning the area like a radar searching for signals. The Doctor’s curiosity brewed quietly beneath the surface, but there was no visible tension, just a calm sense of inquiry. Ford had been exposed to wilder things in his time, but a small child wandering the multiverse with no apparent guardian— well, that raised more questions than answers.*

[naivety]

my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy

[avirael]

This Home of Mine

How had it come to this?, Aviloh asked himself as the argument around him began to get louder. Somehow he had known it would all end horribly one day. He just had hoped it would take a little longer. He only had himself to blame for this, he thought as his eyes fearfully scanned the crowd that was slowly gathering around them.

There at the sidelines stood U‘khaya with a gleeful expression on her face. She knew this would happen, he realised. But A’viloh wasn’t the kind of person to blame her for what happened…

U‘khuba‘s twin sister had always been following the boys around even when they all had still been kids. She had been a brave and stubborn little girl, maybe a little mean sometimes but not more so than her brother. A‘viloh had always thought she was following them because of Khuba - twins being inseparable or something. Never had he imagined the reason would be Laqa instead.

Of course he could have guessed it. Everyone loved Laqa! Apparently Khaya wasn’t an exception in this matter.

That evening - before the argument - A‘viloh had waited for quite some while by the pond. They had always used to hide there when they still had been kids, every time the other boys had stirred trouble or teased the girls.

By now it was one of the spots Laqa and him sometimes used as meeting points when they sneaked out of the settlement together. But today the other Miqo’te had arrived so late, A‘viloh had already started to wonder if something had happened.

“There you are!”, Aviloh said relieved as Laqa finally appeared just when he was about to go searching for him. “I was already worried. Did something happen?”

The blonde Miqo’te made an annoyed face. “Just Khaya happened…”

A’viloh didn’t understand. “Khaya? What’s wrong with her?”

“Everything apparently!”, Laqa exclaimed disgruntled, which made A‘viloh even more confused.

Laqa sighed.

“She waylaid me on my way outside.”, he explained but couldn’t help to look a little angry still. “Started talking some nonsense about how impressed she was about the quarry from our last hunt and how it is a shame that it isn’t me leading the tribe instead of father.”

A’viloh furrowed his brows, still not quite connecting the dots. Laqa grimaced. “Then she threw herself at me and tried to kiss me.”

“She what?”, A‘viloh exclaimed a little louder than intended, with a mix of shock and disbelief on his face.

Laqa raised his hands in a calming manner. “Don’t worry! I of course told her that I am not interested. Like I ever would be anyway! We may be almost the same age but she is still my mother’s sister. What was she even thinking, Vi?”

A‘vi shrugged but couldn’t help to remember something one of Laqa’s sisters had once told him. “Lamana mentioned that Khaya didn’t agree with some of U‘odh‘s opinions. She thought her and Khuba were still mad with him because of their father…”

“That makes no sense! They have no reason for that! It’s not like father threw them all out!”, Laqa said annoyed. “Alone because of mom he wouldn’t have! Anyway, grandpa had been old already, if not father then someone else would sooner or later have challenged him. All of them were always treated equally. Why would they be mad?”

A’viloh gave another shrug and smiled weakly. “Maybe it’s none of that and she really just is a little in love with you… I can’t blame her…”

Laqa lightly glared at him, as if he wanted to say “this isn’t funny”, but couldn’t help to grin himself.

“It’s still absurd!”, he said while shaking his head.

“You think?”, A‘viloh asked and chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if half the village was secretly in love with you.”

Laqa made a sound somewhere between an annoyed huff and a suppressed laugh. Then he stretched out a hand for A‘viloh to take. As A‘viloh did so Laqa pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him. “Too bad for them that the only one I will ever love is you.”

All too willingly - too carelessly! - A’viloh melted into the other Miqo’te’s embrace. Laqa saying things like this never failed to give him a warm and fuzzy feeling. Just as much as Laqa kissing him always made his heart skip a beat and his mind go silent.

Gently A‘viloh wrapped his arms around the taller Miqo’te’s neck, like an invitation to pull him even closer and deepen their kiss, when suddenly a sound appeared nearby. Their ears, currently slightly drooped, attentively shot up and both Miqo’te instinctively turned to see where the unexpected sound had come from.

Without doubt, there by one of the larger rocks nearby, eyes wide and mouth agape in disbelief, stood a Miqo’te girl with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

Khaya!

This was the exact moment A‘viloh knew he was in trouble.

“Khaya…”, Laqa was the first one to find his voice again. He sounded almost as if he wanted to reassure a shy animal, but it only made the girl unfreeze, whirl around and run away. “No! Khaya, wait!”, Laqa called and ran after her. He probably wanted to explain, wanted to beg her to stay silent, but A‘viloh knew it was too late already.

With his heart hammering against his chest and his thoughts racing he stood there and just watched them go. For a second he wondered what he should do now. But he had nowhere else to go, probably no one else who would defend him apart from Laqa. So slowly he followed back to the settlement, wishing he could just vanish into thin air.

***

“Tell me this isn’t the thruth.”, U‘odh demanded from his son. His voice was still relatively calm but there already was a tone in it, a kind of threatening sound that also reflected on his face.

For a moment the thought crossed A’viloh’s mind, that Laqa could simply have lied. That he simply could have denied everything. Maybe, just maybe, his father would have believed him.

But that wasn’t like Laqa.

“It’s true!”, Laqa admitted and turned his face a little bit to look at A‘viloh, who so far had stood a few steps behind him, trying to stay out of U’odh’s attention. “A‘vi and I are a couple.”

A murmur went through the crowd and somehow even A‘viloh felt surprised to hear him say this so bluntly for everyone to hear. U‘odh laughed, but it lacked any humor. A’viloh already looked very uncomfortable but when the nunh’s sharp eyes landed on him, he almost flinched away and cast his eyes down to the ground.

“That weak little welp?!”, U’odh spat out, speaking to his son but still looking and pointing at A’viloh. “What do you want with him?! He’s good for nothing!”

A’viloh had never quite understood this either. There were so many better people than him and still Laqa had chosen him instead. Carefully A‘viloh glimpsed up at Laqa and could see his whole body tense up against the nunh’s insulting words. Stubbornly Laqa stared into his father’s eyes and growled.

“Don’t you dare to speak of him like that! I don’t care if he can fight or not, he is kind and wonderful and I love him!”

But U‘odh simply shook his head and laughed condescendingly.

“Love?! Don’t be foolish now… you know nothing about love.”

That had been too much for Laqa.

Usually no one dared to speak up against U‘odh no matter how harsh his words sometimes were. But Laqa, in a way just like his father and in another just like his mother, never had known how to back down. The anger about the situation and also about his father didn’t help, so his next words sounded especially blunt and sharp, more so than he probably truly thought.

“More than you! You wouldn’t recognise love if it stood right in front of you! Because you are just a bitter resentful man who doesn’t know how to love!”

Shocked gasps sounded from the crowd and everybody stared at either Laqa or his father, waiting for a reaction. For a few long seconds both remained silent. But while Laqa just stared at the older Miqo’te with a stubborn, unyielding face, the nunh‘s face changed slowly but entirely. All the mockery faded from his face and instead his expression turned to an angry snarl.

A‘viloh knew he would only end up in the crossfire but if he didn’t do something now, they would certainly fight and that was the last thing any of them could want. He didn’t really know what to say but scraped up all his bravery and stepped forward a bit. Trying to divert their attention from each other he spoke up, still quiet but clearly audible against this deadly silence.

“Please stop, I don’t —“

But U’odh wasn’t going to listen to whatever he had to say. Furiously he whirled towards him and stepped closer with wild rage in his eyes.

“No one allowed YOU to speak, you pathetic little weakling! Get out of my sight, you are none of my kin and I never want to see your whiny face again! You are nothing but a parasite and I have suffered your presence here for long enough! Begone! You are no longer welcome here!”

Of course. A‘viloh had expected this but it still hurt to hear these words out loud. He tried not to cry but already looked quite miserable already, even without tears. U’odh however wasn’t done with him yet.

“Oh, how I regret the day I allowed you to stay here! I wish you had just died with the rest of your miserable family!”, the nunh hissed and looked as if he was about to attack A‘viloh with more than just hurtful words.

With tears in his eyes A‘viloh shivered in fear and flinched away. He had never seen U’odh so furious before. But before the man could loose his self-control entirely and really tried to strike at him, Laqa stepped between them and protectively wrapped his arms around A‘viloh.

Instantly everything went silent again. Everyone seemed shocked by what had happened or what U’odh had just said. Even the nunh himself seemed stunned when he saw his son’s disgusted face, staring at him. But U‘odh was not the kind of man to give in or admit his failures. Instead he quietly but sharply said, “Don’t look at me so. My word is final. He is none of our family and I want him gone by tomorrow.”

With a strange mixture of defiance and sadness Laqa looked at his father for a moment, before he spoke.

“In that case I don’t consider you my family any longer either. A place where A‘vi isn’t welcome I cannot call my home. If you send him away, I will go with him!”

Briefly a shadow crossed his face but then U’odh looked entirely unfazed again.

“Where would you even go?”, he asked and shook his head dismissively.

“Anywhere but here...”, Laqa replied coldly and turned to A’viloh. “Let’s go and pack our things.”

All of this had happened so suddenly A’viloh still could not quite believe it. No matter what U’odh had said, for him this place was still his home and the people here the closest thing he had to a family. He didn’t want to leave.

“What? Now?”, he asked and pleadingly looked to Laqa, hoping that there was some way to make everything right after all.

“Yes! I’m sure we can stay with the Flames for one night and tomorrow morning we leave.”

His decision seemed to be final, just as U’odh’s. What was A’viloh supposed to do against that?

Laqa made a point of taking A‘viloh’s hand so everyone could see it and knew to whom his loyalty belonged. Slowly he let his gaze wander over the crowd of curious faces giving them one last chance to speak up but they all remained silent.

With a last disappointed look at his father he turned around and walked away, unconcerned that they all stared at them as they left.

[electricpurrs]

Galatic Cat and Astro Dog by Creep Cat Toy Co.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[pokimoko]

The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic

Written by pokimoko

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: ~25K

Fandom: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.

Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending

[kindahoping4forever]

Via MTVLA on Tiktok

[airlock]

there's something I can never help but to notice in the way people on the internet talk about trans girls' dicks, and it's a matter of size

it's odd inasmuch as, y'know. when it comes to cis guy dick sizes, you have this interminably complex debate raging all the time

dudes are out there measuring, comparing, going "that's a nice argument but...", all in all inflicting on each other and themselves this hell malestrom (y'know what, sure, I'm throwing that typo in) of ways in which dick size is the world's most important thing. something that's theorically about having sex, but also doesn't interrogate what women think and would make fun of you for being a fag, so really it's just a front for men competing against men to be the biggest baddest alpha man.

not that you'd get a clear unissonous answer from asking women, either. by now I think most men who have ever listened to a woman, have heard all the aphorisms. it's about how it's about how you use it and not about size; inconsiderate lovers who assume their dick size will carry them can be especially painful in bed; so on and so forth. at the same time, though, women both gleefully partake in the same exercises of social approval/dismissal associated with dick size as men do, sometimes with an added layer of not really caring about dick size but using it as a metaphorical shorthand. and dick size also keeps showing up in the way women talk while they idolize male celebrities, in the erotica they write, etc and etc.

don't get me wrong; this isn't the preamble to my mass shooter manifesto. you don't generally get clear unissonous answers from women about anything, because that is around 4 billion people's worth of opinions and tastes. all of this is just to paint a picture of the strange place that cis guys' dick sizes are regarded in this world we live in. it's at once a genetic trait that can't be controlled and should not be treated as an indicator of personality, and also a symbol of social status so overwhelming that the symbolism has a life beyond the physical realities.

a cis guy's dick can be small, and that's okay and/or pathetic; a cis guy's dick can be huge, and that's insignificant and/or awesome.

but when people talk about trans girl dick. they always talk about huge dick. isn't that strange?

well, perhaps it's not if you're familiar with how trans women are treated on the internet in general. the first and foremost thing being that we're sexualized to hell and back by our enemies and appreciators alike, so of course we'll promptly be described in the crassest terms available. and just as obviously, it is that huge dicks are seen as symbols of masculinity, so there's an insidious dimension to always supposing trans women must have them. it's a pretty unsubtle member of the panoply of ways we're constantly denied femininity even by people who are supposed to be on our side, let alone the ones who aren't.

I don't know that these things explain the phenomenon by themselves, although I'm sure they remain as the leading reasons. maybe it's also just that society's baseline for how long a girl's dick should be is in the negatives, so really any length of trans girl dick compares favourably there. in that regard, "girl with a huge dick" is an especially incongruous image, and evoking it tends to make your punchlines punchier.

but perhaps most of all, at least in terms of relatively original insights here, it might also be a matter of many people still being mere fledgelings in the art of sexually appreciating trans women, and thusly these people have not honed the nuances of it.

talking up a trans girl's feminine traits might come across like you're really just thinking of cis girls or, worse, traditional femininity -- so you swing for the fences, and romanticize the huge dicks and the hairy legs and the widow's peaks. but what if you could appreciate a trans girl's qualities, not in comparison to any cis people of either binary gender, but in her own terms?

would you, then, love her dick in all shapes and sizes it might come with?

[rockyteriyaki]

fic writer interview

tagged by the lovely @ctimenefic to do this little questionnaire!! i’ll be including some unposted fics in this because y’all…i only have three fics on ao3 😭🫠 i'll tag @adimouze and @newbromantics to grace us with your interviews as well, if you feel so inclined :^)

this might raise more questions than it answers ultimately, but here we go!

What’s your total word count?

on ao3, 18k! so over half of it is Slacken, Tense lolll

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Razor Sharp White Teeth is my top by a good margin, and then Slacken, Tense, and then a little bandom fic i wrote on anon over the pandemic. i really only got into posting fic because of the talented folks in the f1rpf tag, so even though i have a lot of stuff written for other fandoms, none of it is on the internet

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

yes i do! i think it’s such a great way to spread positivity and i love when people respond to MY comments, so i always try to at least say thank you whenever I can :)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

both RSWT and Slacken, Tense have sort of ambiguous endings that i guess could be angsty?? moreso RSWT, i think i could see max and daniel’s relationship being sort of strained after the events of that fic. i also have a little snippet written from ausgp that involves max and scotty getting into a literal, physical fight, which (despite it being very silly in the actual fic) is still way more intense than i usually go so i’d consider that angst, kinda!

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

again, not a lot of endings to draw from, but i think the end of this galex tumblr fic was quite sweet :)

Do you write crossovers?

i haven’t yet, and i’m not sure if i would for f1 (unless someone infects me with the motogp virus perhaps?) but if i ever get back into bandom, definitely. crossovers are just about all they do over there.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

if i have, i’ve never seen it 🫣

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! both of my f1 fics are rated e and are M/M, although i’ve written F/M/M (roy/jamie/keeley from ted lasso) and F/M (kaz/inej from six of crows, and roman/gerri from succession) before as well. but overwhelmingly it’s slash i suppose

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge! although honestly, unless it was word for word, i don’t think i would ever accuse someone of stealing a concept 😭 maybe i’m too non-confrontational but i genuinely think i would convince myself out of the idea before i would ever say or do anything about it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone offered to translate RSWT but they deleted their comment and i couldn’t track them down :’) anon if you see this please feel free, but i was honored that they even wanted to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not properly, but my irl bestie redscarez has let me do some heavy cheerleading on their fics So Real and Favorite Son which are both EXCELLENT and i loved being in the Gdocs for both of them.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

gosh that is HARD. maxiel and galex honestly probably make the all-time leaderboard, recency bias nonwithstanding, but there are a few others that stick out for sure. pete/patrick, in fall out boy rpf. draco/harry was sort of my intro to fandom/subject of my OG exploits on ff.net, so i feel a bit indebted to them as a pairing (not a point of pride, considering you-know-who went off her nut, but oh well). kirk/spock. weirdly, johnny/daniel from the original karate kid have my heart. there are a lot, i think i just love fandom hahahaha

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

so many. so, so many. in particular though i have this abo au where max is a stubborn alpha who doesn’t take suppressants, and daniel is a specialist brought in to regulate his hormones when he’s NOT in rut so that he won’t be as thrown off when he is. it’s basically medically necessary JOI, and in my head it’s so long i get intimidated just looking at the start of it 🫠

What are your writing strengths?

i’d like to think it would be word choice! i have some metaphors (“like a drugged dolphin” from RSWT, for example) that still pop up in my head every once in awhile. in general i just like to throw fun words and phrases at the wall when i’m writing :) i also do enjoy editing and all those boring bits which i’m grateful for hahaha

What are your writing weaknesses?

i’m sooo slowwww! i worked on Slacken, Tense for MONTHS and i still didn’t finish it until the night before the third round deadline. i just have zero writing stamina 🤧

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i am fully fluent in spanish, so i'm definitely tempted (mostly when i’m writing carlos) to add little phrases and whatnot, but i’m always worried it’ll come across as forced or hard to understand 😞 i never want it to be jarring or tokenizing in that way, so i usually refrain, but as kitty said i do think there’s a huge intimacy aspect that can be achieved with language-switching and i admire when people can pull that off smoothly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

also harry potter 🫣🥂

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i chatficced a NORTRELL fic a few days ago which sort of came out of nowhere?? but there are some absolute scholars in that tag, and since lando and i don’t always get along IRL i’ve actually been really liking it as a vehicle for characterizing him in the super-duper specific way that i have in my head. in my head it’s more of a testing ground but who knows, maybe i’ll sit down one day and actually write something out!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

i suppose it would be Razor Sharp White Teeth! i was just so blown away by the love on it and (not to be corny) it made me so appreciative of how lovely the f1rpf space is :’) engagement isn’t everything, but as someone who mostly writes for nobody’s eyes but my own, it was extremely motivating to see the kind reception and i still go back and read some of the comments on it :')))

[stevethehairington]

today i am thinking about the absolute POWER that a costuming department has. like, someone in the Right Costume can be the literal hottest person ever and then out of costume they are literally Just Some Guy. thats MAGIC!!