#this is really tiring me tf up
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okay uh- looks like I'll return to my first house now that the shadowban issue has been "magically solved" 😅 once again, thank you for those who followed me here!! <333
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every time a ls!kaboodle hater posts in the "justkaboodle" tag an angel looses its wings
#stop hating in main tags or ill actually make you explode#half of ts is fueled by mysogyny and i'm lowkey tired of pretending its not#like this one mf i went to their profile tell me why the only posts they have talking about any of the women lsers are hate posts#like not EVERY kab/ls!kab hater is like that or is just one of the weird haters i know some ppl who aren't fans of ls!kab who i'm chill w#its just JESUS CHRIST can you please just understand that ls!kab AND the person are real human beings with emotions for ONCE#not everyone does everything perfectly and ls!kab is a great example but nooo she's bad at pvp and she argued with zam shes EVIL!#also i once just saw straight up ableism. kab haters are weird and it's annoying af#because idc if you dislike her or the character but NONE of you are normal about her and it's pissing me tf off actually#justkaboodle#lifesteal#maintagging this idgaf#lssmp#lifesteal smp#lsblr#lifesteal season 6#kaboodle#ls!kaboodle#anyways any ls!kab defenders moot me up i need more of y'all on my feed istg...#extremely targetted btw it's really obvious who this is about sorry to vaguepost sweating emoji#vagueposting
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how. do u sona....
#i want to give myself a solid sona that. isnt just me with puppy dog ears and a tail slapped on but its hardddd#i want to make like a snowman that can change shape but it keeps certain features like branch antlers and a carrot nose#for consistency yk. but im struggling to find a balance between smth i like drawing and smth that looks like me#how often does one's sona resemble the artist irl.. for one i dont have bangs but i love drawing characters with bangs#so its just an internal conflict on if i should give my sona bangs if i dnt have them but love drawing them. etc etc#maybe im thinking abt this too hard bc nobody really knows what i look like anyway and i can do what i want anyway#but i get hung up on small details like that. like im worrying abt stuff like damn how tf am i gonna draw a snowman in the summer#girl... its a fuckig drawing.... follow your heart. but also HOW. i cant even draw myself with bangs bc it feels like im lying augh auuhggg#its 4 am im too tired for this. im goig to bed#my art#myart#doodles#wip
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quickshadow should've had a girlfriend
or a non-binary partner. idk she gives wlw vibes. doesn't matter what her sexuality is honestly she might like masc bots too but she should have a girlfriend. i think her and windblade would be a lesbian power couple because they're both used to being solo agents and they're very sassy girlbosses. so they're a deadly team y'know. windy is the badass femme fatale and quickshadow is the tomboy with daddy issues. you agree with me.
#listen. listen.#listen. hear me out#they both have so much sapphic/wlw energy it's unreal#windblade was way more impressed with strongarm standing up to her than she ever was with sideswipe.#quickshadow i don't have evidence but i mean c'mon.#look at her#shes not straight#no rescue bot is but her especially#she's so unbothered by the others i mean she barely wants to be friends with them.#she just exudes “tired queer done with heteronormativity” vibes. also i think she and windblade would be really cute#they'd kick ass so hard#tfrb#tfrb quickshadow#rescue bots#transformers rescue bots#transformers aligned#rid2015#rid15#tf rid 2015#transformers rid2015#tf rid15#windblade#rid15 windblade#rid2015 windblade#aligned continuity
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said something about not having friends that live around here and my mom's response was "you need to get involved at church and meet people!" was fighting for my life trying not to roll my eyes
#obviously no offense to anyone who is actually religious it is just really not my thing#also like. mom tf you mean meet people.#all the girls roughly my age at church are either a full time college student. have a full time job. and/or are married/engaged.#and i am not at all interested in making friends with dudes bc i'm tired of having to turn men down when they ask me out#bc i can't say *why* bc everyone is homophobic as hell. including my parents. and i live with them still.#i work at a hippie/spiritual store! i don't pay attention at church and skip when possible! i don't want to make church friends!!#anyways. shutting up now lol i have therapy soon#fallon rambles#also the context for this was me making a passing comment abt how i don't have plans for my bday bc i don't have local friends
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im so fuckin sick rn billy joel please stop plaguing my thoughts i've got enough going on what with the plague (the cold my roommate says she definitely didn't give me that she definitely gave me but no hard feelings) and the literal wars i am fighting in school right i don't need the piano man in my skull please
#help#she really thinks she's not contagious but I'm like girl. maybe your sinus infection isn't contagious but the cold that caused it sure is.#im so fucking tired#i slept 2 hours last night#i was studying for an exam and then I was going to go to bed at 9 pm#but it is now nearly 4 am and I'm still up because something distracted me from literally sleeping#girl#you're tired#go to bed#I feel like a gust of wind could take me out rn#very ill#and fucking billy joel is in my brain and he won't stop singing#PLEASE SHUT UP#billy Joel be quiet#college is a lot#and now I have to deal with billy Joel + don mcclean popping in every once in a while to sing American pie#I don't even like that song#😭#I want to go home#please#free me from this torment#i don't even listen to billy joel's music why won't he leave me tf alone#please ignore#these are the ramblings of a girl in distress
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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it lowkey bothers me how many sexy men are in genshin
#sick and tired (not really)#ill die at this rate i CANT KEEP. I CANR KEEP UP. SO MANY FANFIC TO READ SO LITTLE TIME#just getting back into genshin it came to me in a dream#whos ORORON AND WHY. IS HE ALSOSO SO HOT#ALONG WITH... WITCHESTER?... Wriothesley (copy pasted how tf do you pronounce that. just name him keith or smth i aint moaning allat)#i cant keep getting a boner... i just canr... it hurts..#another one for my fanfic blog...
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#if i see one more person with doc martens and a macbook and one of those fancy bling water bottles#in MY shabby neighborhood café! i swear! 😤😤😤#no i'm not really gatekeeping i promise#i'm just. so deeply tired of being surrounded by rich people pretending to be poor#tbd probably#i know i'm a hypocrite#i came from a fancy middle-class background too and i certainly don't fault anyone for that#but that doesn't change the fact that i am broke now. which i don't even mind! to be clear!#i live a very modest life and that works for me#i cook at home instead of eating at restaurants or ordering delivery every day#and i buy all my clothes from the thrift store#and i buy all my technology refurbished#so i don't need more money. but. i'm tired of repeatedly discovering that people in my social circle#who i thought were 'just like me'#actually secretly have shit tons of money hidden away somewhere? i dunno#it only comes up incidentally in conversation when we're chatting about life in general#and then they casually say something that makes me think#'oh right. you have MONEY money. i forgot'#like 'how about a weekend trip to [nearby country]? the train tix are only 30 euros!'#my brain: yeah but how about lodging? and three meals a day? and other incidental costs? getting there isn't everything#or 'i found this cute pair of jeans at h&m for only 69.99!'#my brain: tf. tf. tf#cosmo gyres#personal
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Whenever you guys are ready we can topple the government... Literally been waiting here with my brick collection and comically large hammer for you guys to catch up :/
#no but really ive been waiting my entire life for this shit to fall apart. can we hurry it up before trump destroys anything else? please?#idk what this even is anymore. anti government? anti capitalist? anti america? something in there. maybe all three idk. im so tired#probably shouldnt be saying any of this on the internet but like.. its tumblr dude who cares#i can say whatever i want on my silly little blog and just put a /j somewhere so nobody can hold it against me lolol /j#misuses tone tags for my evil legal reasons >:)#okay goodnight i need to come back down tj earth and go tf to sleep#goodnight!!!!!
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✨ venting in the tags, y'all know the deal
#blymi complains#blymi rants#tumblr where tf are all my bitching tags??? whats going onnnn#anyways you ever feel an emotion and just wanna perish?? yeah me too turn up akshdjdg#i was feeling stuff and now im feeling really ridiculous about it LOL#cant really talk about it with friends cause they'll be like “aww blymi your feelings are valid!!”#not mines!! im being a silly billy rn kick my ass about it!!#edit//#aaaaaaa nevermind im over it actually im tired of all this
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Please consider this a PSA (and this will be the only time I entertain this):
I am not interested in petty community drama. I’m not interested in false narratives. I’m not interested in whatever you have to say about me or the people I care about if you don’t personally know me or them.
We’re all adults so would be nice to act like it??? and if you don’t want to - keep me out of it.
thanks ✌🏻
#seriously#I’m tired of seeing my loved ones affected by people that need to grow TF up#and that makes me really angry#kiki babbles
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me desperately trying to get into the humanities classes i need to graduate as an engineering major (most of them are full and those that aren't still have major restrictions)
#like listen i get why humanities courses are necessary for engineering students#hell i encourage and support it#but im having so much trouble getting into the art classes for my “pathway”#because rpi couldn't just say “take x electives” noooo#they all need to be related#but god im so tired of it ive been trying to get in#got off the waitlist for drawing once but that was a bad semester schedule#really regretting it now i shouldve just dropped thermo and taken drawing#cause of COURSE all of my pathway is locked behind basic drawing#and of course i got the wrong day for registration so it was completely full by the time i logged in#im like third on the waitlist so well see what happens#at least i hope im still on the waitlist bc the portal stopped showing my position#ugh#i really don't want to switch my pathway everything else has essays i hate essays#at least senior year will be 90% electives bc im a stubborn idiot and have been replacing actual electives with major related stuff#because after next semester i literally have TWO more major related classes#well at least senior year will be light#maybe they'll actually let me into an art class#hey a gal can dream#otherwise imma need four philosophy classes to make up for it#gotta love how im expected to sift through tons of daily newsletters and school store promos to find one bit of info#like bestie i am doing an internship i am not thinking about rpi#still don't even know if i have housing next semester they said end of november so who tf knows
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#really really hate how thoughtless and oblivious i can be to my own bad behavior#ill know something is important or that a shouldn't do a particular thing#but over time and assumptions and small acts of carelessnes shit just....fades and accumulates and one day#i look up and ive done something very stupid and hurt someone else#and i didn't feel it happening#my mind will take things and hide them from me is what it feels like. ill know they're there but it fades into the background noise#i am hard on the things in my life including people and relationships. and i am always so vulnerable to my own fuckin lmfao inattentivenes#this is why i struggle so much with the idea of ever having an intimate partner or children. it doesn't matter how much i care.#eventually and inevitably i do damage.#and i know consciously that people make mistakes and all you can do is try to course correct and make it right. but it's better#not to hurt anyone in the first place and i really don't know if i will ever be capable of that.#trying to convince myself this kind of shit is growing pains but man. man. i can't stop being what i am and it really#really feels sometimes like i am just destined to break and neglect#but then that ''im broken'' thing feels like trying to dodge around taking responsibility and improving. and i should be better than that.#but god how tf are you supposed to stop dissociating from the reality of what you're doing when you're. dissociated.#all i can ever think to do is isolate#*sigh* guys i think i might need to graduate to therapy with a trauma specialist#or adjust my medication. god. im so tired.#why is it so gd hard to be a normal decent person. it doesn't seem hard but then
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I'm so fucking tired and I don't feel good and I still have a million things to do and also I'm just so anxious about it all
#i have to essentially deep clean my room with my mom tomorrow#move all my furniture and scrub the floor and cut up my rug and get it tf out#im already tired#and im going to be even more tired tomorrow#this anemia shit is literally kicking my ass and i feel so weak and lightheaded all the time#how am i supposed to do the things i have to do?#dont mind me#im just having a crisis and really worried about how im feeling physically
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"be grateful for what you have" have you considered that i am but also want something else
#'at least theyre responding' stfu. i dont want a half assed convo i want someone who wants to talk to me#literally why tf am i settling for no goddamn reason when theres better ppl#'at least he' SHUT UP theres a least in that. i want above and beyond bitches who actually like me godbless.#sorry im so tired of this girl she keeps coming back everytime her friends ignore her and then just lowkey ghosts me otherwise#like ok kys!!! die!!! but shes also our childhood bsf so i love her i guess whatever shes nice ig idek idec#lying i do care i just need to not#whenever i dont hang out or call my friends i think that everyone in the world hates me when really theyre just waiting for me to ask them#while i am also waiting for them to ask so its just a cycle of realization and loneliness but its ok we get thru it fr#so sad my mom didnt let me bring my computer how do i call my discord kittens and play cards w them now#so glad i left like all servers and deleted everyone but my friends so i can have my acc as fr me instead of an online persona#its just so much more juliet i nearly accidentally wrote our irl name bye 😭😭😭#post#erics tag#sorry guys its been 10 minutes since i messaged our favorites im going through withdrawals
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