#this is nothing dont mind me
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Me in June: I think I can come to terms with being at least on the asexual spectrum I think that explains a lot about me and my experiences and...
Me now that the gladiator 2 trailer is playing on repeat at work:
#this is nothing dont mind me#ive been...unwell#letters from the editor#side note: ik i can still be on the ace spectrum and be attracted etc etc but...#ive been on and off the last few years on whether that label is accurate to my experience and the second i take that leap#suddenly it doesnt fit as well as i thought
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there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back
i am insane
#like YES i know there is obviously so much more history between the boys than edwin and the cat king#and for everyone who's like āwell how would the cat king have gotten to hellā#yall charles got LUCKY that the night nurse was there to open a door for him#you can bet your ass that if she hadn't been there he still would've figured out how to get there no matter what it took#but the cat king calling himself a romantic because he'll wait vs charles GOING TO HELL TO GET HIM BACK????#absolutely insane#i cannot handle these two#like i can vibe with the cat king#but charles x edwin for the WIN#obviously the circumstances between the characters are a lot different#but to me that changes absolutely nothing about the fact that charles who only thinks of edwin as a friend would do literally anything#vs the cat king who claims to have fallen for edwin doing literally nothing and just sulking about it#i don't even care if you dont ship charles and edwin#the love they have for each other will forever outweigh anything else#(ps if you ship catwin you simply do not need to interact with this post. you will not change my mind)#(you do not have to interact with posts you don't agree with)#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#edwin payne#the cat king#painland#payneland#dbd netflix
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that āDonāt want bugs in your houseā is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. āLoves natureā and ādoesnāt want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the houseā arenāt opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ādeal with it.ā
#solarpunk#anti pesticides#ani rambles#this is coming from personal opinion at 4am keep that in mind but like#Iām scared of roaches. iām fine with them outside though#my parents dont like roaches and for good reason. they spray Ortho Home Defense along the veeery edge of the concrete by the doors to#keep roaches and shit from coming in because yknow. Florida.#if I tell them āhey actually we shouldnāt spray pesticides inside (ie raid spray) or outside (ie home defense)#theyre gonna ask wtf to do instead to prevent roaches#and if I tell them ānothing suck it up buttercupā theyāre gonna laugh and then double down on the sprays#we gotta have an alternative ready and honestly maybe Iām not looking in the right places but I genuinely donāt know of any#like one online friend told me leaving brush piles around the yard decreased the amount of bugs trying to come in but like#thats one person. anecdotal. and I havenāt seen anything online confirming that as a thing (yet)#idk man Iām going to bed.#might delete later#house pest saga
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the brainrot won
#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without-#distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted š. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just-#super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff#i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i-#read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :(#SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!!#but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little-#break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think#ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for-#designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much...#WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to#umm. tags.#new life smp#smallishbeans#mythical sausage#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#inthelittlewood#my art#sketch
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So remember me in a softer light
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#sighs and theres 3/3#this one also suffers from lack of meaning lack of impact now imo :(#still a good piece still a good Mood#but my meaning....................#it is like a scooped out pumpkin 2 me. nothing in it.#but that is ok bc it means megumi can still come back !#i will stop complaining i will stop tempting fate i do not want to create death omens unless it becomes inevitable#megumi i believe in u believe in the me that believes in you#anyway i dont know if ive ever talked abt it but i LOVE in fic when megumi's hair is described as 'inky' like YA THTS THE GOOD STUFF#i dont often make his hair entirely jet black in pieces but whenever i do or whenever the grey/blue i use is dark enough#i always taste the word inky in my mind n it makes me go >:D#when the black cuts against th skin tones .... Stark contrast no values.....delicious i shld do that more#OH YA OBLIGATORY FV CAPTION: OVERTONE#not a very megu song but i love the lyrics
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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Twitter doodles!
(close ups for the first one below and a small extra as well :D)
#lina trigun#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#lenssi draws#WAAA i have been drawings cheers to me!it defientely has nothing to do with the fact that i will go back to uni on monday#nope. ofc not. dont be silly.#whatever. eriks and lina! i want to draw more of them so i might soon enough#they are so siblings too me. vash is an older figure to look up to but not on the way you would with a parent#i think they are very sweet and to think they spent two whole (relatively) peaceful years together as just them makes me emotional#eriks and lina my beloveds ueueuue#vashwood clothes swap oh deary#i was didnt have anything in mind at first but then i sort of got carried away ah...i want to do more of this two#they are so silly and i find it funny how ww takes any chance to beat vash's ass up. its his way to say please or something idk#also the ammo storage thing got me :O when it was shown what those weird ass tubes were supposed to be#i thought it was just an interesting aesthetic choice at first#and in a way it is but its actually pretty useful i love that little detail abt this coat!#i will correct the typos on the tags tomorrow i swear i know how to write most of the time-
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
āyouāre compromised johnny; you know what that means?ā
āyouāre not pulling me out,ā soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. āit means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghostās voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
āso i can keep you safe ātil itās done and i can bring you back.ā
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying āyou cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you canā#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soapās mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#heāll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weāre a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.
#mark and the fact he is fighting for this fucking life to avoid the Many Bad Endings???? im pacing. getting out the red string.#when the season is about who you are and what you could become. when trying to be good is an active choice and a struggle.#RAHHHHHHHHHHH#chewing on the bars of my enclosure...when every mark is evil OUR mark is the outlier. the exception. the OTHER. RAHHHH#dog poetry being mark poetry because how often can you kick a dog before it starts snarling before you raise your hand?#how often can you beat it before it rips into you without mercy? when it bites not at your hand but at your neck?#when does violence for survival and violence for vengeance start and end? when your opponent is down and you keep drawing blood?#circling and pacing and losing my mind over this btw if you care#anyways self vs self gets me going crazy. did you know i loved the end of atsv? because it shows.#i think o!mark would lose his fucking mind at what evil wasp looking mark has done + this mf wasp would LOATHE mark's kindness#they both see the other as the WORST version of themselves and they can't stand it. They can't shatter the mirror but they think they can--#--change the reflection.#evil mark seeing mark and seeing what he USED to be#mark seeing what he COULD be#CAN U SEE THE VISION??????#digital art#invincible rotating in my mind#invincible fanart#fanart#mark my beloved#mark grayson fanart#mark grayson#invincible s2#invincible show#mark like hello this is my secret twin and he is NOTHING like me hahahaha anyways wanna debate about having mORALS and LIFE#mark grayson vs the urge not to accept every responsibility as his own#he's batman coded that way#ok im done yapping#if this happened in the comics in any way shape or form dont tell me JACK SHIT or i will PUMMEL YOU with my SHOES
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the yuri harvest is yuriful this year!
#outing myself as a doomed yuri liker#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc pomni#buttonblossom#pomni x ragatha#ragatha x pomni#gooseyworksy may not care abiut ahipping BUT I DO!#i think more people should draw jax with eyelashes#hi all the ppl who follow me for my osc stuff and nothing else#listen i really teally r3ally really really like this show ok.#im not jax simp at all in any way i just think hes really funny#dont mind the pen shift i just have a liking for pencils recently
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i loved you so much it was making me sick
#red vs blue#rvb#rvb fanart#rvb tex#agent texas#rvb church#leonard church#freshly minted#me fighting for my life trying to figure out what tags people use. ok.#anyway the relevance of going to scotland to this moment or this art is questionable at best but u just need to trust in my beautiful mind#what i was mostly thinking about is what tex would look like. and then what epsilon tex specifically would look like. and coming to the#conclusion that i dont think i will ever come up with a face for her. always just a hint of something blurred through the glass.#i love you deadalive nothing girl who isn't.
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been listening to jrwi riptide recently this is how i perceive them
#i think i rolled maybe a 2 in my perception though#jrwi clorten#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#i have posted literally nothing abt this and i have been listening to the podcast for like 3 months dont mind me#cleverdraws
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inspired by @slice-of-julysky 's (i do need a slice) recent post
#i hope you dont mind me tagging you i just found them Very neat and had to sketch#yulia lyuricheva#aglaya lilich#pathologic#Š¼Š¾Ń ŃŃŠ¾ŠæŠøŃ#say nothing abt the background... they're standing on a balcony of some sort
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me speeding to count stock as fast as possible to avoid taking radiation damage from my parents god-awful taste in television
are these Really the ugliest homes in america or is your personality just equivalent to a cheap, wet paper towel. are these Really the ugliest homes in america or do you take your home decor inspiration from psychiatric hospitals and white women on pinterest named Meykaighlahe
just say you hate art and go build your dream unseasoned microwave mashed potato of a house in fucking utah or something oh my gOD
#ms paint#dat me#art#life is paint#IF YOU DONT LIKE IT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MOVE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS#these shows make me homicidal fr#70% of the houses on that stupid fucking show are by majority legitimately so cool and beautiful dude i am losing my mind#''its a historic house but i dont want any of the history or aesthetic that goes with it'' i am going to dropkick you lady. to death.#getting my own place and literally banning the viewing of any HGTV show under my fucking roof#how are there so many old people with such GARBAGE fucking taste in interior design#y'all grew up in the 60s 70s and 80s and learned fucking Nothing ?????????? HELLO ???????????????
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