#this is not my space to vent though. im glad i could make people smile!

[jackandthevoidstriders]

((Personally I wish this blog never really got popular. But at the same time I am very happy it’s a source of joy for people!

[bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare]

No! This isn’t how you’re supposed to play the game! [Father!Corpse x Child!Reader]

Part 2 of Goddamnit kid, now they know I’m a single father! Warnings: None Summary: While streaming Among Us, Corpse decides to teach his kid Y/N how to play the game! A/N: And yes my warnings have the non-warning as well, just so you know what to expect from the story. Also, Requests for Cr1tiKal and Corpse Husband are always open! Ask or message me if you have any ideas. Also, message or ask if you’d like to be tagged- just please state what kind of fics you wanna be tagged be on. I’m always open to tag people! Request: Yes  Tag list:  @save-the-sky @alilshit @whatifwedo @hughugh20 @fleurmoon @bi-andready-tocry @itsminniekat @yoongi-holland @loraleiix @hacker-ghost @fanworrior @marvelous-musicals @annshit @unknown-and-invisible @letsloveimagines @hairbrush-anon @babyhoneystvles 

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“Oh by the way guys I have Y/N here for the stream today.” Corpse said to his chat as he moved his little guy around in Among Us.��“Hai!” Y/N said happily. Corpse had them sitting on his lap just chilling and watching their father play. It has been a couple months since the announcement of Y/Ns existence happened and everyone fell in love. Corpse did have to tell Y/N how to deal with it and not to share his identity to anyone who asks. He was enjoying a happy life, getting so much support by his fans and his friends. Life was good, for once. But with happiness comes sadness, and of course with friendliness comes hatred. And there was hate.

People did not trust Corpse with a child, sadly. The hashtag ‘CorpseCPS’ trended on Twitter before someone came out and told everyone to fuck off. But even if that hashtag stopped, that didn’t stop the haters. People still tweeted about it, hated on Corpses kid, and just been assholes. 

“Corpse Husband is not fit to be a father. He already told a majority of his fans about his mental problems, so do you really think he will raise that kid properly? #CorpseCPS” 

“Wouldn’t be surprised if Y/N will grow up to not be able to sleep at night. Just like their father.”

“I stg I bet Y/N is terrified of Corpse. Have you heard his music and seen his videos? I wouldn’t trust someone like him with a child, he could emotionally abuse them. Someone call CPS!!! #CorpseCPS”

“Who the fuck is accepting single fathers? Children belong to their mothers, not their fathers. I hope @Corpse_Husband realized how he fucked up and gives that poor kid back to its mother.”

“Bet that the mother of Corpses kid fought so much for custody on that poor child on god.”

“Someone save this child. #CorpseCPS”

It really got to Corpse, making him think he wasn’t capable of raising Y/N. Was everybody right? Was he going to mess this child up? He didn’t like thinking about, but his mind always trailed back to it. It worried him, the only thing he wanted was to make his kid happy. Was he doing a bad job? Was his kid going to grow up wrong? 

“Can you guys please let me live my life and raise my kid? Don’t think you’d feel good if someone said you weren’t capable of raising the kid you had. Jesus.”

Corpse Tweeted that when the anxiety and bad thoughts got too much for him, hoping this would calm them down. But one small Tweet doesn’t go a long way sometimes. He was glad most of his fanbase supported him, at least his friends did. And now he didn’t have to worry about the haters. Right now, it was streaming with Y/N time.

“Alright Y/N, you control the little astronaut like this..” Corpse put Y/Ns hand on the mouse and put his over it, moving his horned avatar through the halls on the screen. “Those red words are my gamer tag, Corpse. Red means im an imposter and white means crewmate. The goal of the game as an imposter is to kill everyone without them finding out its you. The crewmates need to find out who the imposter is an eject them.” 

“Okeh!” Y/N said excitedly and laughed.

Corpse smiled fondly. He loved Y/Ns laugh, it melted his heart. “Ok, see those cameras?” Y/N nodded, “You gotta be careful killing people around those, someone could be watching.” Corpse moved to electrical, “See? This is electrical. And there's, felix. Whoop, now hes dead.” 

“That was mean!” Y/N whined. 

“It’s the point of the game though!” Corpse quickly vented. “Okay, to kill people, you click this.” He showed Y/N how to kill people, “And to hop into a vent to get away, you click this.” He showed Y/N how to vent. “Now, during an emergency meeting you need an alibi.” 

“Whats an alibi?” Y/N asked, glancing up at their fathers face. 

“If someone blames you for wiping someone out, you have to have an excuse to why you didn’t do it. That’s an alibi.” Corpse explained, heading down the hallway. “So next time after the next emergency meeting, you will play! Sound fun?” He smiled when Y/N replied with an upbeat yes. Then a body was reported, “Ok Y/N, don’t tell anyone it was us, alright?” Y/N nodded. 

“Where was the body?” Poki asked. 

“I found it in electrical.” Sykkuno replied. 

“I did see Sean go that way.” Corpse said, making Sean instantly reply. 

“I was just passing by!” Sean argued, “What about you Corpse? Didn’t you go near electrical?” 

“It was you Sean I saw it wit my own 2 eyes!” Y/N called out, making everyone nearly die. 

“Well you can’t really argue with that one Sean.” Charlie chuckled.

“Vote Sean the council has decided.” Sykkuno declared. 

“Wha-- I- B--” Sean stuttered as everyone vote for him. Soon, they all watched him float into the abyss of space.

Corpse chuckled, “You’re my superpower Y/N. Ok, I’ll guide you along but its your turn to play.”

Y/N made a happy squeal, putting their hand over the mouse and moving the astronaut across the screen excitedly. Corpse guided them along, having his hand placed over theirs. “Ok Y/N, be careful. remember, there are cameras.” 

“Okie.” Y/N said, heading down the hallway. They walked around for a bit and Corpse helped them fake tasks. “Ok, see Toast? We’re gonna kill him.” Corpse checked for cameras, “Do you remember how?” Corpse asked. 

“Yah!” Y/N moved the astronaut forward, killing Toast. 

“Ok now vent, vent vent vent!” Corpse said, leaning forward and moving the astronaut to hover over the vent. Y/N stalled but clicked the right button, quickly venting right when Poki walked in. A dead body was reported, and they were back at the emergency meeting.

“It was Corpse!! It was Corpse!! I saw him vent!” Poki screamed, being way too loud to Corpse, but he didn’t mind anymore. 

“That wasn’t me.” Corpse lied, “Where was the body?” 

“I found it it navigation! You vented!” Poki said. 

“Mmm nah it wasn’t me. I was in storage.” Corpse lied again, making Y/N feel pretty damn bad. I swear, this child was so innocent. They couldn’t stand seeing lies and murders happening. So, they said “It was dad!” 

“HAH! They just exposed you!” Sean laughed loudly. 

“Oh my god the betrayal.” Charlie laughed as well. 

“Vote Corpse!” Poki yelled, “I told you!” 

“Y/N knows whats right.” Sykkuno said, voting for Corpse. 

Corpse gasped, “Noo! that’s not how’re supposed to play the game!” Corpse sighed, watching as everyone voted for him. Y/N frowned, “Im sorry..” Corpse hugged Y/N, “no no it’s fine. Just don’t betray me like that.” he chuckled, watching his astronaut float through space. He sighed again, “Better luck next time. Guess I have to train you how to be a ghost.” 

Y/Ns eyes lit up, “Yaaaayyyy!~”

~The End~

[honeypirate]

Figure it out

Part four

Hinawa and fem reader

Masterlist here

The one with ✨ another song! ✨ And nurse 👨‍⚕️Hinawa!

I’m like that monkey at a type writer that people always say “even a monkey could write that” that’s how I feel with this lol but I like it anyway 😜

You wake up before him, slowly coming to consciousness as the sun shines into the window, your eyes flutter open and immediately look over to him, taking in his messy bed hair and calm face, a hand on his chest and one on his stomach. You watch him until you see him start to stir, then you take a deep breath and sit up, stretching out your arms and groaning at the pain and stiff muscles from your injury.

“Good morning sleepy head” you say when he sits up, he smiles “good morning” you smile at his morning voice, so low and raspy. “How do you feel?” he asks and you shrug “as good as i can post surgery with a stab wound. I don’t like that you were so overworked, but I’m glad I don't have to be here alone” he yawns and then smiles softly at you, his eyes still full of sleep as he gazes over at you “well, honestly, even if I didn’t have to be here, I still would come and stay by you if i knew you didn’t want to be alone.” you raise your eyebrows with a smile “you’d do that for me?” he nods and sighs, a soft sound containing all he feels about waking up and seeing you in the morning, makes him wish he stayed beside you when he slept in your bed. “of course i would. You’re important to me” he says softly and before you could discuss that any further nurses came through the door.

After their tests they tell you that Hinawa can be discharged and that you could as well if you promised to be on bed rest with minimal office duties for the next few months until you’re fully healed. You decided to take that offer because there was no way in hell you’d sleep in this bed another night, they gave you some as needed pain medication and a prescription for another month, with an appointment to get your stitches taken out in two weeks.

Back at the base you head towards the Captain’s office but Hinawa stops you “you heard them. you should go rest. I’ll tell Captain Obi” you’re about to insist you’re fine but he shakes his head, holding out your medication he was carrying “go, take some of your medication and rest” he orders and gently shoves you in the direction of your room and you huff before sticking your tongue out at him as you walk away, keeping your right arm against your middle so you didn’t move your stitches.

You stop by the kitchen to get some water and run into Maki, “oh Y/N you’re finally back! How are you?” “it’ll take more than a little knife to take me out” you say and laugh gently as you get yourself a glass of water “how long will you be out?” you take one of your pills before you say “a couple months, i hope less though” she nods “you should go rest but it’s my turn for dinner so it’ll be done in a few hours” you nod “okay thank you, see you later”

When you make it back to your room you lay down, the short walk strangely exhausting, you find yourself panting, your side hurting. “Okay, i’ll just lay here until my meds kick in, then i’ll get up” you close your eyes, trying to distract you from the throbbing pain, focusing on evening out your breaths, you didn’t notice when the meds kicked in because you were already asleep.

When you wake up again it’s dark outside, your clock’s lights reading 12:23am, you lay there for a moment, considering going back to sleep but your stomach rumbles and you groan, having missed all meals today you were starving. You slowly roll out of bed, the familiar walk taking longer because of your baby steps.

He was worried when you didn’t come to dinner, but he figured you were sleeping when your door was quiet, and figured he would make you a good breakfast in the morning. He woke up to your singing again, your voice from the kitchen vents

“It's nothing, it's so normal you You just stand there, I could say so much But I don't go there 'cause I don't want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here and no one would know At least not to the point that we would think so”

He pushes off his blanket and quickly makes his way to the kitchen.

The lights are on this time, illuminating the hallway from the open door “And I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do But I'm lonely now, and I don't know how To get it back to good”

he walks in and smiles at the sight of you singing softly, heating up some of dinner with a metal bowl with your hands on either side, using your fire instead of the microwave. “Hey” he says and you look up at him from the counter you had used a chair to be able to sit on top of, “hey are you hungry?” you ask and he shrugs “i could eat” you laugh “perfect, I already have enough for you here”

You convince him to eat on the couch since you were injured, and he carries both of your bowls as you walk, he tells you everything you missed during the later afternoon and evening, the fights over dinner and the new information about the white clad. Once you’re sitting on the couch, he hands you your bowl and you smile up at him warmly “thank you Hinawa” he nods and sits next to you, his thigh pressed into yours leaving no space between you. He was warm and it was comforting, you found yourself leaning into him but didn’t care enough to stop, you were injured and medicated and needed some comfort from him

You eat in silence and when you are just thinking about how you needed a drink, Hinawa hands you a bottle of water. you didn’t question it, just took it with a smile. After you were done eating, you leaned your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes “when I was younger, I used to help out on my grandma’s farm in the Chinese peninsula. well one day i was messing around while working, completly goofing off, and slipped in some mud while carrying these 5 gallon buckets full of water with lids on them. i slipped and landed on the very edge of the lid. The edge went right between two of my ribs and cracked them. What was the worst was that one of the farm workers saw it happen and came to ask me if i was okay and I just popped up and pretended i was fine, i said “at least i didn’t spill the water!” and laughed And he gave me this like” you raise your head and look at him with a super worried face, causing him to chuckle “and he said ‘no sweetheart,who cares about the water. Are YOU okay?” you chuckle, the medication making your ribs only slightly ache, “I didn’t even find out my ribs were hurt until later, showing my grandma my bruises that night, it hurt to laugh for two weeks or so” you lean your head against his shoulder “you must have been a really tough kid” you smile and nod “I guess I was, but the actual reason why I told you this story,” you frown and bring your hand up, grabbing his shirt sleeve gently and turn your face further into his arm, your voice more muffled now “ this injury is going to take longer to heal than that one, which means less time I can laugh. And I love joking around with you every day, love that you make me laugh easily, I don’t want to have to miss out on that for a long time” he chuckles and lifts his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and gently holds you a little closer “i’m sorry you wont get my amazing jokes for the next little while” you lean up and point at him “you have to keep telling me things! No! Don't stop. I will just control myself!” he smiles and you get a little embarrassed by your outburst “please, dont stop telling me funny things. Okay?” you whisper and he nods “okay, but if you hurt yourself and laugh i will stop right then” you nod quickly “deal! No going back on it!”

He laughs some more and you lean back into him, a smile on your face as you try and hold in a groan, pain shooting in your side from your wound, hoping to get away with it until Hinawa tenses, scooting forward and looking at your side with a worried face, thats when you notice the blood on his side and you gasp, looking down at yourself and seeing the blood spot against your white shirt “you might have ripped a stitch” he says and you sigh “fuck. Can you help me? I can't quite..” you hold your hands up and try to reach it to showing him how awkward it is, he nods “i’ll meet you in the bathroom for the better light after i put the dishes away i’ll grab the first aid kit and be right there” you nod and stand, wincing with the movement, thankfully Hinawa wasn’t looking and you sighed in relief. When you look up to himhe looks straight into your eyes “i saw that” he says and then laughs at your look “i’m not going to lecture you this time though, not unless you do this again” you nod and salute weakly “yes sir” he shakes his head and holds the two bowls stacked in one hand, his other resting on your lower back as you walk down the hall together, not moving it until you pass the kitchen and he leaves you to continue your slow shuffle by yourself.

You reach the bathroom and manage to maneuver your way up onto the counter top and once you do you look to the doorway and see him standing there, an amused smile on his lips “did you..?” he laughs “yeah, the whole thing. Im impressed with how determined you were, i could have just lifted you if you waited” you sigh and he comes over to you holding the first aid kit and an extra shirt

He looks at you for a few moments, you look back into his eyes without speaking, like you were lost in his beautiful golden orbs, until you realized he can’t help you with your shirt still on. You blush and look down before you use your arm on your good side to lift the bottom up over your head before pulling it down your other arm and holding it in your lap as you avoid eye contact now, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

He watches as you take off your shirt, the tips of his ears turning pink because of how soft your skin looks, of how gorgeous you are. He watches as you blush and shrink into yourself, watching the physical response of your self consciousness. “Hey” he says softly and you hum in question without looking up at him. He reaches out and with his first three fingers, gently tilts your head to look at him.

“Let’s fix you up okay? Don’t worry I wont hurt you” you smile at his warmth “I trust you Hinawa” he nods “good” he drops his hand and then washes them in the sink next to you before opening the first aid kit and slowly peeling off the bandage stuck to your skin with tape.

He dabs at your would gently with a wet washcloth as you hold your arm up, clutching your opposite shoulder so it’s out of his way. “it’s not bad, you won't have to go back to the doctor, you just need to take it easy and go to bed after i’m done” you smile as you study his face while he looks at your stab wound. He dabs it with peroxide, then puts on some neosporin so it won't stick to the gauze he places over it and then another bandage that he wraps around your middle instead of taping it to you.

“Is this too tight?” he asks and you shake your head “no, it’s perfect. Thank you for your help.” he nods “of course, here, i brought you a shirt” he hands you one of his extra black shirts and you thank him before taking it and trying to put it on. He watches as you struggle for a moment before reaching out, helping you unfold it and slip it up over your bad arm and then holds it as you slip your other arm through it, gently sliding the soft material down all the way, his fingers brushing across the skin on your back.

Once you brush your teeth and make sure you have everything you need, you lay in bed, him helping you get situated in silence. You watch him, a question in your eyes that you’re too embarrassed to ask “Do you want me to stay?” he asks for you and you smile shyly “only if you want to though” he smiles and then looks into your eyes “if i am being honest, I slept the best next to you than i have in the all of my adult years” you beam up at him “then you’re saying you’ll-” he nods “I’ll stay” your heart warms and your stomach floods with butterflies as he climbs into your bed beside you.

Because of your wound you have to lay on your side facing him, a smile on your lips and your eyes looking at his face as he lays beside you “you can’t sleep unless you shut your eyes” he says with a smirk, his eyes never opening. You reach out and grab his side, pulling yourself as close to him as you can and moving down just a little before you bury your face in his chest, he chuckles and watches you, waiting until you're comfortable before he gently wraps his arm over you.

“Tell me a story?” you ask and he sighs with a smile into your hair “real or fake?” he asks and you smile into his chest “you decide” he hums as he thinks “okay, ill tell you the story and at the end you can guess if you think it’s fake or real” he thinks for a moment before kissing the top of your head and beginning his story, his hand coming up to play with your hair that’s on the bed behind you

“There once was a prince of a small kingdom, he was handsome, intelligent, and level headed. One day the prince’s best friend was poisoned by a neighboring kingdom that was trying to start a war. The prince vowed then and there that he would never allow himself to care for another person again, never wanting to feel the same pain and grief again. He lived like this for many years, keeping his heart guarded, thinking he was doing the right thing” you were trying so hard to pay attention, forcing yourself to stay awake for this, it felt important. But the sound of his voice, the smell of him, and the warmth of him holding you, that fights to pull you to sleep.

“One day the prince met a princess, she came to stay at his kingdom and they became friends, laughing and joking with each other every day, she was the only one in the kingdom who seemed to understand everything about him without even trying. She easily walked into his heart and made it her home, walking through each wall and barrier like it was nothing, like it was her purpose to make him feel again. The only one who made feelings joyous instead of exhausting. She saw every hidden part of the Prince and made him feel worthy, she showed him how nice it is to have someone close to him who understands and doesn't make him feel guilty about where he lacks. The door in his heart opened for her like she had the only key.” you smile, thinking about how lovely the princess sounds. He swallows hard and his hand stills, strands of your hair twisted gently around each finger.

“The Prince fell in love with the Princess easily, even though he hadn’t felt the feeling for years she easily claimed all of his love as her own. She would sing to him, call him to her with her angelic voice. She made him laugh easily and not to mention she was an amazing person. She is kind, smart, and the prince is positive she is made of everything sweet and good. One day the princess got hurt.” Your fingers clutch his shirt gently as you whisper “oh no” he chuckles and kisses the top of your head before continuing “She got hurt and the Prince couldn't protect her. He felt terrible about it even though there wasn’t anything he could have done in the moment, he was tied up at the time. There was nothing he hated more than seeing her hurt and wished he could save her from it, but since he couldn’t, he would do anything he could to help her as she recovered. staying by her side and protecting her until she was strong again, until she was back to being able to protect herself. then he would go back to being her partner, and not just her nurse and guard.” You sigh and turn your face so your cheek presses against his chest “I like the prince” you whisper and he smiles

“Real or fake?” he asks and you hum into his chest, too far asleep to truly answer. You hum again and try to wake yourself up more but your mouth doesnt say what your brain tells it, it just mumbles out “my.. prince” before taking a deep breath and sighing into his chest, completely unconscious.

He wakes up with a start, panic in his heart from a dream he can’t remember. He looks down at you in his arms, a smile on your sweet sleeping face. You looked like an angel in his arms, the sun on the horizon hitting your window illuminated the back of you like a halo. He tried to move, to get comfortable again, but your unconscious hand gripped his shirt, and his heart. He was frozen to the spot, his heart racing thinking he woke you up, he waited a moment before looking down at you again.

“Maybe, if this happens again, we could sleep in your bed. It’s bigger than mine right?” you say and snuggle further into him, making sure you don't hurt yourself anymore, your wound was already throbbing and you didn't want to make it worse until you had to get up. He chuckles and kisses the top of your head “right” he clears his throat, the sun rising waking him up more, “you’d want to, do this again? Sleep beside each other?” you look up then, opening your eyes purposefully to look into his, “Hinawa” you reach up to cup his cheek “why wouldn’t i? You keep me safe. Do you think that these have just been coincidences? That it was just because you happened to be here?” you pull your hand down and furrow your brows “unless you don’t like mmm--“ you stop and change your sentence “ You don't want to. Then I mean yeah of course whatever you want I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he smooths out your brows gently with his finger and he chuckles softly “shhh shh it’s not like that” he gently wraps his arm around you and holds you to his chest, his hand gentle against the back of your head.

A knock sounds at your door followed by Maki’s voice “sorry to wake you y/n but we have an emergency meeting in 5” you tense, knowing it must be big if they’re waking everyone “thank you Maki” when her footsteps retreat is when Hinawa lets you go, he looks into your eyes, he was sad you had to part so soon but he knew it must be important. “We’ll talk later” you smile softly and nod as he gets up softly and helps you out of bed so you didn't hurt yourself. At your door he cups your cheek with a smile before silently slipping out your door.

[pinkykitten]

meet & greet - part 1

2845: EXILE

synopsis: It’s the year 2845. A year where Earth is in shambles and space is the new frontier. You are sent along with other cadets to a distress call about some type of unknown creature. You are new as an engineer on the ship Shiganshina and you have to work for your boss and leader of your group Levi Ackerman. But remember, in space no one can hear you scream.

pairing: levi ackerman x female! reader words: 3,406(　〇□〇） genre: fluff, space au, series, future au, romance, comedy 

a/n: this is my first au series. my sis is obssessed w the alien franchise and she showed me alien isolation and it was so good she watched it like all the time and she saw markipliers game through so im excited to show yall my idea, hope yall like it. hope u like some sexy space levi cuz i know i do. 

You remembered what your father taught you - how to create with your hands. How in your mind you felt lost and insignificant in this vast existence called space. But he explained to you that you could be so much more. With your help people can depend on you and believe in you and that makes you important. That makes hard work payed off when you are there for someone. 

“Hey rookie, make sure to get those screws in. We don’t want this compartment tearing apart.” Hannes, your co-worker, ordered you. 

You wiped the grease from your forehead. Sweat was dripping down your face. “How many times do I gotta tell you this, Hannes, just because I’m new to this job doesn’t mean I don’t know how to seal a door.” You banged the object and rolled your eyes and the insensitive words of that man. He thought he owned the business. “Besides, once I get enough cash, I can buy my own ship and head on out of here like a-”

“-person’s hair caught on fire,” Hannes chuckled. “We know this. You tell us every time.”

You pushed yourself up to get yourself a cup of coffee. “It’s true though, I’m gonna do.” You bit your gloves off as you scratched the back of your head. “Somehow.” It was difficult finding jobs for engineers. Every thing was growing and getting more modern as the days went by. Now robots took care of things and did what you could do but 10 times faster, better, and more work. Plus, you had limited knowledge, you needed to be trained more but there was only so much your old man taught you. “I already know how I’m going to decorate it and the speed.” You whistled. “That baby is going to go faster than a meteorite.” There were stars in your eyes. It was all you ever dreamed of, ever since you were a little girl. It was all you wanted to do. Build things and be on your own. Making your own rules and being your own person. 

You picked up your wrench and went under the compartment to take a look at its legs. 

“Um, Y/N. There’s someone here to see you.” Hannes said. 

You rolled out from under to see your best friend who is like your little brother, Eren, with his two pals, Mikasa and Armin. “No way! Hey guys!” You ran to them for a hug. “I haven’t seen you guys in like 2 years!”

Eren smiled wide as he brought you aside. “Yeah, its been a while.”

“Why are you getting so tall squirt?” You ruffled his chocolate brown hair. You and Eren knew each other as little kids. His father was a doctor and was acquainted with your father. From time to time they worked together. 

“Must be all that food we eat at the academy!” Armin said with a cheerful spirit. 

That’s when you took one look at their attire and saw all of them wearing their space academy suits and that’s when you knew Eren came here to change your mind. 

You shook your head as you walked away to look for parts. 

“Y/N! Where are you going? Y/N!” Eren called out for you. 

“Nice going really subtle.” Mikasa smacked Armin.

“What?” The little sunshine was lost. 

Ever since Eren got into the space academy he had been trying to get you enrolled as well. It was his dream and all but not yours. You didn’t want to be stuck in a room with entitled brats that think they know it all when they really didn’t. It wasn’t your calling and you didn’t want to go and nothing, nobody could change your mind. 

“Please Y/N, listen up.” Eren helped you pick up the box of parts. 

“Why should I? I can’t believe the only reason you would show up and see your friend is to convince her to do something she doesn’t want to do.”

“That’s not true. It’s not like that,” Eren tried to explain. 

“So you didn’t come over here to change my mind?” 

Eren was silent but then gave in, “Okay, yes. But it’s because we need you!”

“Sure,” you said sarcastically. “Like I’ve never heard that before.”

Mikasa cornered you and slapped her hands on the wall near your face. “Listen to what he has to say.”

“Eren you better come grab your friend before I throw hands on a kid.” You gave a warning look. 

You served them coffee as you sat and talked. “What do you need me for?”

“They’ve seen the way you work. They think you’re incredible and one of the best which you are to me and they want you on their team.”

“What makes you think I’m going to say yes?”

“We got in a call, a distress call from one of Warrior’s ships, Marley. One of our own. It’s a real emergency and it sounds like they are in real distress. They’re far away and on our radar it shows the ship is in critical condition. Warrior is sending people out to rescue those from Marley.” Armin reasoned. 

“And why do you need me? Can’t Warrior do it themselves? They’ve got the people and they’ve sure got the money.”

They go silent and Mikasa places her hand on Eren’s knee. “The call that we got from one of our own said that something on the ship was dangerous to the crew. We need capable men and women on this job. Warrior has you in their files and they’ve been watching you on how you react to things. They feel you are really fit for this job.” 

You shook your head, “no. I gotta get back to reality. I got so much stuff on my mind that I have to do.”

“Wait!” Eren pulled your sleeve. “They’re willing to pay a lot.” 

You bit your lip. You couldn’t resist.

As you walked into the classy headquarters you regretted a bit coming here. Deep down you really didn’t know what danger could they have meant. 

“Hello sir, here is Y/N L/N. She is very strong and highly capable to complete this mission.” Eren saluted to what seemed to be the boss of Warrior.

“Hello there Y/N. We were expecting you,” the man was tall and had short blonde hair. The bangs were split apart and he wore glasses. He gave his hand for you to shake. “I’m Zeke.”

“Nice to meet you Zeke. This a nice place you got here.”

“Thank you, now without further a do I would like to show you the crew that will be assisting you on this mission.”

“There’s more?” You gulped. You were not that spontaneous at working together with others. You had many ideas and usually that clashed with peoples opinions. 

“Yes indeed. You will need the help,” Zeke chuckled. “I’ve seen your work that you do. You’re the one who created that electromagnetic pull to connect and pull together the two trains. I’m very impressed.”

“It’s just, stuff I learned from my pops,” you followed Zeke. Every corner you took amazed you more. Chandelier upon chandelier, buttons leading to new discoveries. You were so curious! 

“I’m sure Eren told you about the distress call and the mission in itself?”

“Yeah, he told me a little about it. It sounds real terrifying. I hope the people are okay.”

Zeke smiled, “that’s why we need people like you that care enough to go save them. Now your crew that you’ll be working on is called the special operation squad, created by their captain of their ship, Erwin Smith.” He gave you a pad to look at captain Erwin’s photo. He looked very handsome and charming. His eyebrows thick and a face of seriousness. You glimpsed over his information and handed it back to Zeke. 

“Looks tough.”

“Indeed he is, he once landed a plain when it ran out of power. It was just falling down to the surface and he managed to let the legs stick out the right moment that it didn’t even have a scratch.”

“Wow.”

“We have Eld Jinn, Oluo Bozado, Petra Ral, and Gunther Schultz. They graduated at the top of their classes. This will also be their first mission.”

You saw their pictures and couldn’t believe one of them was that age.

“We have Hange Zoe, smarty that one. And second in command, Levi Ackerman. He is amazing under pressure and is very strong. He is one of our best.”

You saw his complexion and he had bags under his eyes. Not what you were expecting, “he looks short.” You popped gum in your mouth.

“He is but very, very, scary. And he is going to teach you and be beside you mostly during the procedure just so you can understand and get a taste.”

“I think I can handle this myself besides why would I want to take orders from someone half my size.” You laughed as walked right into Levi. 

He raised his brow, “you were saying.” His voice was deep and gruff and he truly looked like he could kill you.”

“Yes, here is the crew. Special operation squad I want you to meet your newest member Y/N L/N.” Zeke presented them to you. 

You waved awkwardly. They all looked like they could eat you alive. 

Oluo walked over with his hands in his pockets, “I hope you can keep up you little,” he bit his lip and started choking.

“Karma,” you smirked. 

“Don’t listen to that idiot. I’m just glad to have another girl on the team! Yay!” Petra ran and high fived you. 

“Hey what about me?” Hange pouted. 

“Fine you too.” Petra gave her a high five. 

“Sir, if I may have a word. We think we might have found a way to get into the breach. Since the power is down there may be a way we can open the latched door and connect Shigashina to Marley.” Erwin walked Zeke over to the map on the screen.

“Actually that won’t work.” You spoke up.

“Who is she?” Erwin questioned. 

“See,” you pulled the blue print of Marley to the crew. “There is only a limited power left on that ship circulating certain items on it and is whats keeping the ship staying up. Light, vents, door, you get the point. If we try to open the gate to connect the two ships all the power left will go to that door. So instead we go over to Marley and get in our suits. Physically walk to Marley and try to open a small vent or door there. It will be safe because we’ll be hooked. I’ve done it many times...Names Y/N L/N.” You shook Erwin’s hand. “And I’m your newest crew member.”

Everyone cooed and awwed at your ability. It was like you said the best comeback. You looked to see Levi not smile but his eyes did the talking. You could tell he was proud of you. 

“Excellent work Y/N. I knew you were made for this job. Levi, make sure you teach her more. She is already a great learner.” Zeke said. 

Hange pushed you to Levi and you wrapped your arms around his head for support. “I guess you’re my student now. Don’t mess this up.”

You weren’t a fond of this amazing hero Levi. 

“Has she heard the call yet?” Erwin asked. 

“No i haven’t.”

The call was shaky at first but then a girls voice came on, “Hello Warrior. This is Marley in the midst of completing the Warrior program. Day 34. Every thing was fine at first. But then everything went to Hell.” There was a bang in the background. “I don’t have much time and I don’t know if I’ll be alive but we need assistance here, asap! Something is here, its coming and its killing! We need someone quick! Please!” It cuts off with a roar and then silence. 

Your heart is beating fast and you feel faint. You take a seat, “that’s awful.” Were you really ready for this mission? “Why did they go there in the first place?”

“To look for more planets that contain life of course. Isn’t that what its always about.” Zeke explained. 

“Our mission crew, is to rescue Marley and bring as many home to safety. We do our best and we make sure we take down whatever that threat may be so it doesn’t come to the population.”

You ship Shiganshina was being loaded with supplies. Gun were being transported and you almost felt your throat go dry. You tried to keep a tough face but you were never in a situation like this. 

“You okay?” Levi asked. 

He startled you with the suddenness. “Will we be using those?”

Levi saw the fear in your eyes and patted your back, “only if we need to.” He handed you a black space suit. “For you. Put it on, were going to be ready in about 5.”

As you put on the skin tight space suit you began to realize how real this really was. It frightened you and made you want to go back to where it was safe. But you made a promise. Your father taught you to help people and these people needed your help. 

Being and engineer you fell in love with Shiganshina. It was an older model ship but it was redone to look modern. It was bigger than any ship you ever seen that it took more than 20 people to pilot this thing. It was so gorgeous to you every aspect of it. “I’m in love.”

“Did you know that this was the first ship of its kind to be made?” Hange Zoe spat out facts. Zeke was right, she was very smart. 

“It’s so special,” your fingertips grazed the cool metal of the ship. 

Waling into the chilling area you saw the crew playing ping pong and reading. It was announced that the ship took off. You grabbed a coffee and sat next to Eld. 

“Man the way you gave it to Erwin!” Oluo joked. “He looked like he pooped himself!” He laughed. Petra came and sat on his lap. “Don’t act like you’re so cool. You always copy Levi.”

Gunther almost died laughing. “She got you there dude.”

“So this is your guys first mission too. Are you scared?”

“Why are you? Then maybe you shouldn’t be on this ship.” Oluo eyed you down. 

Petra smacked his head, “stop being a jerk! Y/N is part of us now. I am a little scared but I know I am ready to prove myself to Warrior.”

“At least you had training. I’m just learning as I go.”

“I’ll teach you the best way I can.” Levi suddenly appeared holding his cup of coffee odd. “You just have to be teachable.”

“I am!” You were getting aggravated. You were equal to them and you had to start believing it. 

“Psst,” Eld tapped you. “Don’t worry, I’m a little scared too. I’ve got a wife and two kids back at home.” Eld showed you a picture of them in his locket. 

You grinned, “they are a beautiful family. I’m sure you’re making them proud. Thanks by the way. I’m glad someone else is scared around here.”

You scooped the rest of your stew out of your cup as the others bursted out laughing while saying stories of their training. 

“Remember you fell in the sewer?” Hange chuckled as she picked up the dishes to put away in the sink. “That was pretty gross my man.” 

Gunther rolled his eyes, “I got all that crap in my hair for like months. It was not funny and you know it.”

“What about when Eren slipped and did a split when he was talking to that chick?” Levi recalled, sipping his tea in a strange manner. 

“He did a split?” You almost choked on a piece of meat. “That behemoth?”

“Ha ha very funny.” Erwin said sarcastically. “I thought she was endgame and that was so humiliating.”

“You still went on a date though.” Oluo said, “I remember she threw that cake on your face.”

You raised your brow and tried to hold in your chuckle. “What? She did that to you? Why?”

“It’s because-” Levi started. 

“No let me tell it,” Hange butted in. “Erwin, I don’t think this is gonna work.” She impersonated the lady in a valley girl voice. “Like, you are too much in your job and you will never make time for me. I need a man who will spoil me and who will make me,” they all yelled in unison, “their sexy, little, queen of a thang!”

Oluo banged on the table, cackling loud, tears running down his face. Hange fell on the floor while Erwin was trying to cover his face to hide the blush. You laughed so hard you flipped your bowl. “Oh crap!” You looked and saw a tiny hint of a smile on Levi’s face. It was a different look and you liked it. He looked cute and it made you happy. 

“You finished?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” you yawned. “I’mma hit the showers.”

You couldn't go to sleep. Tossing and turning you had all these expectations of what this mission entailed. Some were excited while some were terrified of the danger that laid on ship Marley. You didn’t know what to expect. 

Sweat dripped down your back and your heart pounded fast. You shot up and breathed deeply. 

Going to the kitchen you were looking for milk to drink to help with your insomnia. You were searching the refrigerator. 

“What are you doing up?”

You shrieked as you jumped. It was Levi, leaning against the counter. “Oh my God, you scared me!” You clutched your heart. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You nodded, “is it that obvious?”

He peered down to the carton of milk. “Eld told me what you two talked about.” Levi crossed his arms and you saw his muscles trying to rip out of his hoodie. “Its okay to be scared. If you’re not scared then you’re not human and when you’re doing this type of job you need everything to remind you that you still are. Besides, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

You were silent because no one had ever said that to you. But you wondered if he was genuine. “I’ve never left that garage I worked at. Traveling space like this its always something I wanted but I’m just - the unknown is whats terrifying. I’m scared that I’ve wanted this for so long, what if its not what I expected? What if I fail?”

“That’s why you have to try it though, its to see what you feel about something. Because you’ll live your life not knowing and that being a mystery, and that is the worst feeling ever.”

“Yeah,” you scratched the back of your head. 

“Give me your hand, I want to show you something?” Levi outstretched his hand to you. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“I want to show you something amazing, idiot just take the dang hand.” 

You clutched his palm and he made his way to the window of the ship. It was big and wide. It was as if the world was laid out in front of you. 

“Wow,” you said amazed. Your eyes widened. The amazing galaxies and space reflected into your eyes. The sun was a little far way and was bright and beautiful. “Its so...perfect.”

“Right?” Levi leaned against the wall. “That’s kinda about the good thing about this job. The view is unbeatable.”

“I’ll say.” You smirked. “To think we are just a tiny part of this bigger picture. Makes you feel insignificant.”

“No, to me it makes me feel lucky. Lucky that I’m alive to witness something this great.”

You grabbed a hold of Levi’s hand, still looking at the space. “Thank you Levi.” Tears fell down your face. 

Levi looked shocked and was about to ask but your look turned into something that was horrifying. You covered your mouth as you gasped. “What happened?”

He gazed to where you were pointing and his eyes widened. He ran and shouted and he went to go get the crew. 

The ship Marley was there. Out of power, just floating like a lump of rock in the middle of space. It pieces broken and looking ruined. Something was terribly wrong. 

a/n: oooh spooky lol i wonder whats gonna happen. phew that was a lot of writing i hope u guys enjoy it bc it means so much to me. but i mean u all can tell that levi is ready to drop everything for y/n, they already having heart eyes!!!

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[mental-health-advice]

(1/3) So here's the thing. I feel like I'm going to fail my next years in school, and be a disappointment entirely compared to my older sister who graduated from Stanford. On top of that, there are so many family issues in which my mom, my frickin 50 year old mom is coming to me for advice and to cheer her up. Not to mention my sister has this horrible attitude but she's depressed so I want to help her so bad but its a pain in the behind to talk and work with her, you have no clue. And I hate

(2/3) sorry for the discontinuity, I have to leave momentarily and I forgot what I left on, god that sounds stupid haha, but my point is im always in people's corner with a smile on my face and nobody is ever in my corner which really sucks but hey I have been coping for several years so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ deal with it I guess but it definitely feels good to vent on anon. my main problem right now is I think im gonna fail in life. especially because im in an extra competitive environment. im also sick of

(3/3) being dumb. everyone thinks im dumb, I think im dumb and ive gotten over it but honestly im still sick of it. I dread tomorrow, or every coming day. but im scared as to what happens after death. god this is dark and tbh this is the most ive ever vented to someone and the great thing is I dont feel ashamed or awkward because im anon so yay Tumblr. anyway tysm if you have actually read this highkey boring story, you're genuinely great, and I hope youre aware of the impact you're having :)

Hello lovely,

I’m so glad that venting out to us has made you feel even the tiniest bit better, having an outlet no matter what it is, is so important in keeping us moving forward and helps us feel so much better!

It is so lovely of you to be there for all those around you who you love, but you gotta put yourself first. If you aren’t feeling well or taking care of yourself then you aren’t able to take care of those around you. Is there any one that you feel as though you could have a mutual conversation with? Start with something like “I love being there for you. I’m going through a really hard time too and I was wondering if I could talk to you about it”. That way you break the ice a little. Another great outlet that I love if I’m having trouble talking to people is writing things out in a journal. That way I get to say everything that I want to say, no matter how harsh it might sound, without worrying about hurting someone else's feelings if it relates to other people. Other amazing outlets that have helped me release a bit of stress and tension is yoga and exercise if you want to try those also! 

In terms of your family it can be hard to keep things at a certain distance. Could you maybe let your mum know that you don’t feel comfortable with all the things she talks about? Or suggest that she may benefit from getting advice from someone with a little more experience? That way you are still being there for her but you are making sure that you are not her only outlet and that she is not offloading everything on to you. Working with those who live with depression can often be difficult. Symptoms that follow depression often include agitation which can make communication difficult, but there is never an excuse for what you say or how you act. Mental illness is not an excuse, it’s only an explanation. You can always talk to her if you feel she is acting inappropriately and say “maybe we can pick this up in a minute after a little space?”.

Failing at life is a very common fear, I don’t think it’s possible to fail at life. I think people are constantly learning new skills every day that they did not have the day before, you cannot fail at life. You are human, you are breathing and that in itself is an amazing thing! You are life. Try tell yourself everyday how wonderful you are, and that you are doing an amazing job. It may be hard at first, but I find it’s so motivating to me when I get up in the morning.

Everyone is good at different things, things that others may be great at may not be your forte and that’s okay! Part of life is figuring out the things that you are good at, and things that you enjoy doing. Intelligence cannot be measured on one scale, everyone works a different way you just have to identify what works best for you. If you are struggling in certain classes you could also see if there is option for tuition and talk with your teachers if someone is able to offer you extra time to help you understand things that you find difficult. The one I could never get my head around was chemistry, I spent half my lunch times working in classes to try get there but I decided it was not my thing and I went on to healthcare instead. Everyone has their good and bad and being in a competitive environment is hard but try your best to just focus on yourself and what you are doing, as opposed to those around you. This is your life love, live it the best you can!

If you are noticing an increase in these dark thoughts you may also benefit from getting some extra supports. Talking with your GP to make sure that there is nothing medical that causes you to feel the way you do, and if there is something going on with your mental health what options are best to help you get through this. There is also a tonne of counselling services available if you feel more comfortable venting in that route, that way you can get professional advice on a regular basis and ensure not to bottle things up. It’s so incredibly important to let things out lovely!

You’re genuinely great!!

Links for you to look at:

Getting helpDepression informationHelplines if you’re feeling worriedReasons to stayMindfulness

You got this x

Much love,

Willow x

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[rurounidrift]

July 29 Hiro’s Lost Light Stream - Bolt

Drift, Whirl, and Soundwave sat on the floor of the rec room in alt mode. Drift was under a giant blanket fort with Hiro. These children were vicious killers in a multi-million-year war.

After the movie, Whirl and Hiro recruited Drift into their plot to help Hiro find his way home.

The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. Whirl: *well, if it's time for a movie, Whirl's gonna head over to the usual spot and sprawl all over the Whirl Couch* Hey, twerp. H i r o: [ pokes head up and looks around ] Oh, hey Whirl! [ waves ] H i r o: [ has made a very well constructed blanket fort ] Whirl: *observes this for a moment before he hops up, trots over, and squats down next to it like a big horrid bird* You'n me need to have a talk, sometime soon. H i r o: [ blinks and looks back up and OH HES RIGHT THERE. Blinks ] Oh yeah? About, uh... things? [ quotes with fingers ] Whirl: *snorts* Yep. 'Things.' *he, too makes air quotes, but with claws* I guess getting stuck here's not all that bad for you. You ARE staying, yeah? H i r o: Uh, well... I don't really have anywhere else to go. Whirl: Yeah. ...yeah, I get that. H i r o: [ shrugs a shoulder ] My friends are here. Baymax is getting used to things here. Whirl: I'm not sure what's going to--y'know. Where I'll be in a few weeks, but until then, we can work on things. Might as well. H i r o: Oh, sure. [smiles a little ] I mean, if we can't finish the whole thing, it should be fine. Whirl: I won't leave you hanging, if I can help it. That's a big "if" though, kiddo. H i r o: Heh... I know. But, really. We'll be okay. H i r o: Just not sure how I'm supposed to, you know... live here. Whirl: That makes two of us, Hiro. Whirl: But... yeah. I'll comm you up. *bobs his helm and stand again; he will retreat to his couch* H i r o: ... Yeah, okay. I'm not really busy these days. Bug me any time. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and drops. He's tired. But he heard the call and came to see the thing.* Whirl: *salutes as he plots himself down* You got it. Whirl: *and he'll spare a head-bob for Soundwave* H i r o: [ pokes head out of his fort to wave at Soundwave ] Drift: *shows up and heads for his usual se— oh.* Drift: *... yeah, no, he's not— he's not gonna sit there.* H i r o: [ sit with me in this big af blanket fort ] Drift: *is the blanket fort big enough for a cybertronian?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave hasn't seen the little fleshling in a long time. He leans forward, trying to pin them, then offers a nod when he realizes it's Hiro. And then one each to Whirl and Drift.* H i r o: [ it sURE IS ] Drift: *it really IS big af. hiro's his best option, walks on over.* Hey. Mind if I squeeze in with you? H i r o: Oh go ahead! H i r o: [ wiggles over like he's taking up all this space when he smol ] H i r o: [ honestly we can all squeeze in here ] Drift: *scoots on under* Where did you find this much fabric?? Whirl: *if he is invited, he might actually take you up on that offer* H i r o: Well, I sort of tore through some old junk I found. H i r o: [ not on the ship but. Shhhh. ] H i r o: [ Everyone here is invited to the blanket fort. It's called HQ ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *...He'll stay outside the blanket fort. That many points are bad news around fabric.* Whirl: *for now he's gonna stretch out on the couch* H i r o: Actually, I think some of this is tarp... /looking around the fort/ Anyway, no one was using it and Baymax said it seemed useful for us. Whirl: Where's he got to, anyway? Drift: *looks at the fabric. oh yeah, some of it IS tarp.* Drift: ... I think I used some of this for my Pyramidhead costume. H i r o: Baymax? He's charging in the room. Drift: *pokes at a bit of white tarp* H i r o: Oh, really? I can give it back. [ scratches hair ] H i r o: Baymax just said I should 'socialize for my mental health' or something. He thinks I'm working too much. Whirl: Well, next time you want another night on the town, let me know. H i r o: Heh, you got me in trouble last time. H i r o: (( people ready?? ))) Whirl: ((yep!)) Whirl: I always get everyone in trouble. All the time. H i r o: Yeah, but what if I get arrested or something? [ snort ] H i r o: I bet I could jailbreak. Drift: ((ye)) Whirl: Oh, I could get you out, no problem. Starscream's prisons arent ME-proof. Drift: Just don't get arrested in Metroplex. The longer we keep Starscream from finding out we've smuggled a human onto Cybertron, the better. H i r o: Starscream sounds like a tool. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yep)) Drift: Nuh-uh. H i r o: ... No one's seen me yet. Drift: Tools are useful. H i r o: Not that I'm going ou. H i r o: *out. Whirl: Ugh, he's the worst. He--PFFT. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has seen Hiro.* H i r o: [ soundwave u see everything ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Isn't interested in spilling those beans.* H i r o: ...He sounds like an outdated tool. H i r o: Only useful for damaging the actual tool. Whirl: Well, if anyone gives you trouble, just sent them to me. Whirl: I need to vent, anyway. Drift: And if Whirl's ever unavailable, the rest of us would have your back too. H i r o: I just go scavenge. H i r o: Aw thanks guys. But, really... I'm not getting in trouble Whirl: Not yet, anyway. *props his helm up on one claw and regards the screen with a half-lidded optic; he seems tired* So, what's this? H i r o: I mean, I /might/ gamble now and then [mumbling ] H i r o: I don't know. Baymax looked it up and said it might "help". H i r o: It's called Bolt. Never seen it, though. Whirl: Hmm. Drift: ((... for some reason, even tho you said MULTIPLE times we're watching bolt, somehow i never registered it, and until about 20 seconds ago i was convinced we were gonna watch cars 2)) Whirl: ((PFFT)) Drift: ((im so glad we're not watching cars 2)) H i r o: [[ oh my god, puff. ]] Whirl: *tilts his head; okay, this seems a little bit interesting* H i r o: [[ also i just realized this is technically like a super hero thing and hiro is here for this ]] Drift: *winces. ohhh, it's a superhero movie.* H i r o: [[ i mean not REALLY ]] Drift: *rodimus is going to be torqued if he finds out drift watched a...* Drift: *... rodimus isn't going to find out.* H i r o: [ rolls onto his stomach to watch the screen. Wrinkles nose ] I never had a dog. H i r o: Tried to give Mochi rocket feet, though. Drift: Me neither. Whirl: I've only had Killer. Who really doesn't need augments, it's tough enough as is. H i r o: I put these hover boots on Mochi once. Whirl: That's your... rat, right? H i r o: ... He bit me. H i r o: No, Mochi is my cat. H i r o: ... was. More my Aunt's cat, I guess. Whirl: Oh, right. Cat. H i r o: Big, fat cat. Whirl: Nice gunships. Drift: ... Okay, so when she arrived to get the dog, she already had a collar with his name, right? H i r o: [[ omg yes the cat cycles ]] H i r o: [[ my favorites!! ]] Drift: What if the last Bolt died in the line of duty and she was picking up a replacement. H i r o: That's kinda messed up, but.. might be possible. H i r o: (( let me know if the stream drops pls )) H i r o: (( it keeps saying it is )) Whirl: ((so far it's been fine)) Drift: I mean, it seems kind of weird to go get a pet and know what you're gonna name him before you ever met him. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((all i can think abut is how slow everything is probably actually moving on account of it's. a dog.)) Drift: ((it's a SUPERpowered dog. superspeed.)) Drift: ((we see zoom lines around him when he runs.)) Drift: ((or did at one point, anyway)) Whirl: Not bad. Whirl: Dogs seem pretty cool. Drift: ... I'm disappointed he didn't actually speak. H i r o: ... I mean, yeah. That would be cool. Whirl: Oh. Huh. ...that's disappointing. Drift: ... Oh. H i r o: ... Wait, so he's NOT a super hero? Whirl: I guess maybe not? Whirl: ... *very slowly sits up. Glances about the room* H i r o: That's kinda messed up, dude. H i r o: Let the dog have super powers. Drift: Why would the dog know what a boom mike is? H i r o: I mean he's never seen one, so how would he know? Whirl: Good question. *sits up, and very abruptly shifts into alt-mode. Minor windstorm in the room while he hovers* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Do you mind.]] Drift: Hey, don't blow down the tarp hut. Whirl: *strafes sideways, carefully avoiding the couches, and sets down outside the pillow fort* Whirl: I won't. Whirl: *and CLUNK. He just drops there. No landing gear. There's just a chopper sitting on the floor* H i r o: ... hey. Welcome to the fort corner. Whirl: Drive-in. ...indoors. Drift: ... Huh. H i r o: Heh. Sounds like a plan. Drift: ... *transforms* H i r o: [ oh my god ] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Is it a drive-in if you don't drive?]] Whirl: I bet I could drive. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Hmm. All right.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *He -used- to drive, so... transform and join the group. Why not.* Whirl: *welcome to the parking lot* Whirl: *Whirl tilts his rotor arrays so they're pointed back a bit. A quick whirr and he scoots a little. Then a little more. Scoot, scoot, scoot* Whirl: See? Driving. Drift: Ooooh, that dog's gonna have anxiety. Whirl: Yeah. Poor thing. *scoots backwards into his spot* H i r o: ... Yikes. H i r o: Looks like a boom mic isn't the problem now. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Vaguely interested in these birds for reasons he doesn't know.* Whirl: So... Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Starscream, right? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Ha.]] H i r o: [ laughs ] He's like a bird? Drift: He flies. Whirl: Heh. She's running a racket. Whirl: I like her. Drift: ... I like him. H i r o: Starscream... sounds really annoying. Drift: He's not just annoying. Whirl: He's the worst, Hiro. Drift: He's basically the worst person in the galaxy. Whirl: And the idiots living on Cybertron elected him king. Whirl: ..pfft, look at her go! She's devious. H i r o: Well, I haven't met him. but I've seen his ugly pictures all over the place. I mean, sort of. H i r o: I hear people talk, that's all. Whirl: Hopefully you'll get a ride off-planet or something before you have to deal with him too much. H i r o: Do I have to meet him or something? Drift: Primus, no. Drift: Not if we can help it. Whirl: ((i always loved the music in this and T'S NO SURPRISE... COS IT'S JOHN POWELL)) Whirl: Yeah, ugh. H i r o: [[ YEEE ]] Whirl: @H: I can't do this that often with you-know-who here but, don't worry. I won't let it come to that. Whirl: Ha! Look at her! *he looks as gleeful as a helicopter can* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Disappointing. He wanted to see her freed.]] Drift: Same. Whirl: Yeah, me too. She earned it. Crafty little thing. Whirl: *snickers* H i r o: @W: Oh, thanks, Whirl. I'm not sure how I would handle meeting that guy. Drift: ... Do you think the hamster knows it's a show, or is he assuming they're in character and playing... Drift: No, no, he thinks it's real. H i r o: ... This poor dog. Whirl: This is hilarious. Drift: ... I appreciate the dog's utter devotion to his master, but wow do I feel bad for the cat. Whirl: Yeah. Kinda swept along by circumstances she can't exactly fight. Sucks. Whirl: I'm rooting for her. H i r o: I like both of 'em, really. Drift: ... That's not a good-looking badge on that door. Whirl: Ha! Whirl: I gotta give it to the little furball, too. H i r o: ... Nah, she didn't replace an old dog. There's no way. H i r o: So quit the job, dude. You're like a tv star right now. You could get way more jobs. Drift: Yeah, but she said OTHER people would lose jobs. Drift: They don't deserve that. H i r o: [ tears open a bag of stale gummies. Hes had them for so long ] H i r o: Yeah but I mean. You gotta be a pretty crappy producer not to have a back up plan. Drift: The backup plan is getting a replacement dog. H i r o: That's messed up for her, though Drift: Yeah, it IS. But other people have jobs that they need to SURVIVE. H i r o: I don't see why she can't look for the dog AND film the show. It's a tv series. H i r o: Doesn't take that long to make an episode. [ chews on a gummy ] Drift: ... Yeah, true. Drift: She can do both. But in the meantime she's gotta continue with the show. H i r o: [ makes a face ] These are two years old and stale... [swallows it anyway ] Drift: Want us to get some fresh ones? Whirl: Yeah. We can get to Earth, no problem. H i r o: Well, maybe when I finish these . Whirl: (9AGAIN)) Whirl: Pfft. Whirl: Well, het, we've got holoforms. We could go with you. Whirl: *hey Drift: Yeah, I was assuming we would. Done it before. Drift: I've still got the bikini I got last time! Whirl: I don't think I've seen yours, Drift. Whirl: Well. He performed the deepest act of friendship anyone can. Whirl: Busting your pal out of jail. He's all right. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He doesn't think he's seen either of yours.]] H i r o: ... Oh yeah, I had to take you shopping. Whirl: *with a little flicker, Whirl's holoform appearrs, sitting on his cockpit's windshield. She waves* H i r o: [ wave ] Drift: Oh—yeah. I guess I don't have a lot of reason to use it around the ship. Whirl: Pretty sweet, right? *whirl and his holo are speaking in unison* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Fascinating. Why this?]] Whirl: Brainstorm made one that generated our own based on our personalities, or something. This is what I got. Drift: *turns on his, too, avatar sitting on his hood. rolls forward a bit out of the pillow fort so he can see the others and waves back.* Drift: Mine's custom. *he looks like Pepper Potts.* Whirl: It also came with some sweet uzis. Oh, hey Drift! Looking good. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Yours is familiar. He can't place why.]] Whirl: *flicker, flicker--and his holo is gone* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They're auto-generating, then?]] Drift: Got it from a movie. H i r o: ... That's so cool. Whirl: Some of em are. Drift: Yeah. I've got an auto-generated one, too. Don't use it, though. ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Wonders if his does that. Not about to test that out here though. Maybe at home after this is done.* H i r o: My clothes are getting smaller. H i r o: I guess I do need a trip soon. Whirl: ((banans...)) Drift: Oh! I've got a bikini from earth for it, too. Hold on. *he hops off his hood, pops open his bumper, and starts rummaging around in it* Whirl: *that was the cutsiest feel-good song Whurl has heard all year. Absolutely catchy and saccharine and impossibly cheery. And it utterly depressed him* H i r o: [ join the club lmao ] Whirl: *at least he can hide it in alt-mode* Drift: ... She's declawed? After all that with the birds. Whirl: Good little scam artist. H i r o: Well, yeah. You're not supposed to declaw cats. Drift: ... Oh! Hey! *pulls out one of his human sword collection from his bumper.* I'm the right size to use these! Whirl: I'm not sure what it is besides... the obvious. But I'm against it on principle. H i r o: [ smiles at Drift] Having fun? Drift: *just what everyone needs to see today: Pepper Potts swinging around a sh!tty knockoff samurai sword* Whirl: ((everyone needs that all the time)) Whirl: Pfft. You know, I like all three of these guys. Whirl: ((giorgio tsoukalos pose)) Drift: Okay. Okay. Bikini. *stows the sword and starts rummaging again* Drift: Found it! H i r o: ... I can't believe you kept it Whirl: I've never changed my holoform's clothes. Her clothes are ALREADY perfect. Drift: Course I did. We might go back to Earth. H i r o: [[ i love this guy ]] Whirl: (9ME2)) H i r o: [[ THATS ME ]] Drift: ((nice)) H i r o: [[ I love the sinister cat bikers ]] Drift: ((same, they're the best)) Drift: Hiro, nudity warning. *turns off the avatar's clothes and starts trying to figure out how to put the bikini on)) Drift: ((..... that should be a *)) H i r o: [shields his eyes so he can only see the screen ] H i r o: ... Aw. That's happened to me once. H i r o: Really sucks... H i r o: [frowns] Poor Bolt. Drift: *he's trying to wrap the bra around his legs when he sees the movie and gets distracted.* ... Awww. Whirl: Do you need help? H i r o: I can't help you, Drift. I told you last time. [ staring at the screen ] Drift: Nope! Nope, I've got this. Already done this once. *determinedly starts tying it in place.* Whirl: I'm pretty sure you're doing it wrong. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What ARE you doing with that.]] Drift: Nuh-uh, I totally know what I... Whirl: Here, just--*zzip. His holoform appears by Drift* There's no way that goes there. Drift: *stops. holds the bra up.* ... Oh. Wait. Whirl: *she walks around Drift critically* Where's the other part of the bikini? H i r o: [ this movie is gettin emotional and stuff ] Drift: *starts tying it around his chest instead.* I've got this now. Whirl: Here, lemme tie it in the back for ya., Drift: Yeah, thanks. H i r o: [ and very stressful. ] H i r o: [ oh god he hopes no one dies in the fire holy crap ] H i r o: [ severely focused face ] Whirl: *she gets right to it, with those wonderful fingers she possesses* Drift: *he'll start tying the bottom in place.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Watches Hiro. If he's remembering the documentary right...* Drift: *... and stops again as he's distracted by the movie.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Human. Are you operating within standard parameters?]] H i r o: [ tugs a piece of tarp over his head ] H i r o: [ this movie is stressing him out ] H i r o: [[ LMFAO I FORGOT ABOUT THE FIRE TBFH . GO ME. ]] Whirl: Drift's decent, Hiro! Check him out! Drift: *... oh, scrap, right. hiro's brother.* H i r o: [ looks at Soundwave ] What? [ moves his hands and peeks from under tarp ] Oh, uh... still looks cool, Drift. Drift: *hastily ties the other strap in place and hurries over to Hiro.* Hey, are you...? H i r o: [ oh thank god someone found them. Wheeze. ] Drift: *... he's gonna sit next to hiro and wrap an arm around him, tarp and all.* H i r o: [ oh my god there's a pepper potts hugging him ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good. That will do.* H i r o: [ waves at Soundwave from this hug. ] I think I am. Whirl: *While Drift is hugging him tenderly, Whirl's holo strolls over and rests her elbow on his head* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods. Acknowledged.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll leave the comforting to the Autobots. Human contact is more their speed.* Whirl: Man. You're almost taller than me now, Hiro. H i r o: [ blinks at all this contact ] Uhm... [pats Drift's arm] Thanks, Drift. [ smiles a little ] Wait, what? Really? Whirl: Yeah. *steps back and crosses her arms* Huh. When did you get so tall? H i r o: ... I dunno. Aunt Cass always said I'd probably be tall like Tadashi was. Whirl: Oh, yeah, you're still growing. I keep forgetting you're not done. H i r o: [ for a second that movie had him stressing though so this hug is nice. ] Drift: Oh, right. Humans do that. H i r o: Yeah, that's why I keep seeing Hoist for my leg. H i r o: The more I grow, the more it needs to be adjusted. H i r o: (( omg let me get this cool video of fantasmic stuff. )) Whirl: Oh, yeah, the janitor. Whirl: Well, I did it, too. Once upon a time. Whirl: But I grew a lot faster. *zzap. His holoform disappears* H i r o: Hoist is cool. He helps me out. I'm not fully grown yet, I guess. H i r o: If I keep replacing my limbs with Cybertronian tech, I could probably fully grow whenever I choose. Whirl: I mean... I guess. If you want to...? Whirl: Maybe you should keep your body parts, though. Seems like you might need 'em. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Will quietly excuse himself to go pass out at home.* Whirl: Catch ya later, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods.* H i r o: [ waves at soundwave! ] H i r o: Bye, Soundwave! H i r o: I ... probably should. Baymax is worrying I'm choosing to change too much. Whirl: And isn't medicine his JOB? H i r o: Yeah. Whirl: I'd listen to him, then. H i r o: (( okay r u guys ready for my nerdy disney crap? )) Whirl: ((SHO0) H i r o: Oh, yeah... I mean, I listen to him. Believe me, he's hard NOT to listen to. H i r o: [ sighs. At least the movie had a happy ending. It makes him feel better. ] H i r o: [ that and the drift hug and Whirl elbow on his head for that moment ] H i r o: [ even Soundwave. Gosh what great friends he has ] Whirl: *he's got your back, small and curiously endearing co-conspirator. ...he just can't be obvious about it* Whirl: *actually...* Whirl: @Hiro: Hey, Hiro? H i r o: @W: Yep? Whirl: @H: I think--okay. So, our project. If there's anyone who could help us with it, it's... gonna be this guy. The chucklehead in the bikini. H i r o: [ looks back at Drift slightly ] You know, your holo-thing looks really cool.  And I'm glad you remembered how to dress. The first time was awkward, heh. Whirl: @H: Do you wanna... maybe get him in on it? In case something happens, and I can't help any more? Drift: Yeah! So am I. *the chucklehead in the bikini is wearing the bra upside-down, but other than that he's got it mastered.* H i r o: @W: ... Yeah, sure. I trust Drift as much as I trust you and Riptide. I don't think you guys would kill me. H i r o: (( okay so here our new show with pirates and dragons ;A; )) Whirl: ((o/.)) H i r o: W: How do we... ask him, though? Whirl: @H: I got this. Whirl: Hey, Drift. Drift: Yeah? H i r o: @W: uh huh... Drift: ((imagine dancing in a giant mickey head)) Whirl: So, for the past few months or so Hiro and I have been working on an unsanctioned space-bridge project in the hopes that we can find a way to get him home. H i r o: [[ I WOULD DO IT ]] Whirl: So, wanna help? Drift: ... Uhh. Whirl: *smoooth as hell, whirl* H i r o: [ Wow Whirl ] Whirl: ((for some reason when i saw mickey i just thought "I GET TO DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES")) Drift: *on the one hand, the word "unsanctioned" worries him. On the other hand—he suddenly remembers—he's got the authority to sanction it now, doesn't he?* Whirl: ((gah brb, rock needs to go out)) Drift: Hell yeah. I'm in. What do you need? H i r o: (( ahhh okay want me pause? )) Whirl: ((nah it should only be a sec!)) H i r o: ... Uh, well. We have a sort of base built. H i r o: Chances aren't very likely that I'll go home anyway, but. It's worth a shot? Drift: A—a base? Like a—like a whole, base? H i r o: Well, Whirl can probably explain it better. H i r o: But, we've got a lot of research done for it. H i r o: I've been scrambling around to get proper supplies for Whirl and I to work on it. But, well... we've been keeping it hidden from everyone. Whirl: Yeah, most of the stuff we have is theoretical--we';ve barely gotten into building anything yet. Whirl: But mainly I figured, we should tell someone else in case something happens, and I can't help him anymore. H i r o: (( good to know no one ever forgets Dumbo's terrifying drunk dream ) Drift: Oh. So like a—knowledge base. Whirl: Yeah. We've got some solid simulations, some mock-ups, you know. The goal is to try and make what's basically a portable space-bridge operator. Drift: *thought they'd built a whole base to work in somewhere.* H i r o: ... So. [scratches hair ] Does that mean that I might end up lost in limbo or something? Whirl: Power's turning out to be the big problem. Drift: Anything I can get you that would help? Drift: No, we're not letting you get lost in limbo. That's what tracking devices are for. H i r o: I made a few prototypes and showed them to Whirl recently. That's where I was last. H i r o: ... What tracking device? Whirl: Pfft, of course we won't leave you IN LIMBO. Whirl: We can make you one. Drift: We talked MONTHS about putting a tracking device in you, remember? H i r o: ... oh yeah. H i r o: I forgot. Drift: ... I don't know if that ever got done, I wasn't in charge of it. Whirl: I've... got some things to settle. But honestly, I think we just might need supplies, Drift. And, if you've got any scientific connections... *that one's a long shot* Drift: *it BETTER have got done.* Whirl: ((DUDE this must have been AMAZING in person!)) Drift: ((seriously!)) H i r o: (( IT WAS SO AMAZING I CRIED TWICE BECAUSE IM STUPID )) Whirl: ((SPEDDY <3)) Drift: ((YOU'RE NOT STUPID, AND IT ISN'T STUPID TO CRY ABOUT SOMETHING AWESOME)) H i r o: (( pirates made me cry )) Drift: ((love yourself speedy. give yourself permission to feel moved by awesome things.)) H i r o: But, everyone's starting to talk about leaving and doing things. What am /I/ supposed to do? Whirl: ((SECONDED)) H i r o: I don't even have a job. Drift: Anything you want. The crew's going to keep a skeleton crew, at a minimum. You can stay here. Drift: We're going to keep trying to repair the ship. You could help with that. Whirl: Ideally, we'd like to get you home before that becomes aa big issue, of course. H i r o: ... Yeah. Getting home would be nic. H i r o: *nice. Drift: If we can find a way for you to get home, that'd be best, yeah. But if it takes longer than expected, there's always a place for you on the Lost Light. Whirl: And I'm sure the janitor will not let you out of his sight H i r o: Hoist? He's almost as bad as Baymax. H i r o: [ frowns a little bit. Just a little ] You'll visit me, right? If I leave? H i r o: My Aunt... she won't believe any of this. Whirl: Wh--me? *100% taken aback* Drift: If you let us, heh. Whirl: *surely he must have been talking to Drift* H i r o: [ drift is a 'u guy' not a ' u guys ' ] H i r o: (( * cries at my princesses * )) Whirl: *he did not say "you guys"* Whirl: *uncertainly* I mean, if it's... possible? H i r o: [ He gonna ] H i r o: My Aunt would love you guys. H i r o: I mean, she'd freak out for twenty minutes. Drift: ((oh my god the people in the background)) H i r o: (( RIGHT?? )) Drift: (("IT'S RAPUNZEL!" "you're my rapunzel, hun." "awww.")) H i r o: (( me in the future )) H i r o: (( me to myself )) Drift: ((be ur own rapunzel)) Whirl: She'd probably... have a lot of questions. *still Awkward City over here, you completely threw him off, Hiro* I'm pretty sure there isn't anything like us there. H i r o: Well, no, not really. I mean, Baymax is pretty unique and hes not like you guys really... H i r o: But, I'm gonna have to tell her about my leg. Drift: Yeah, we never invaded Earth in your universe, right? Whirl: You're going to have to tell a lot of people about your leg. H i r o: Nope. Only Callaghan started crap. H i r o: Well, it's not simple metal. And I'm not gonna lie about it. H i r o: Besides, people won't believe me anyway. Whirl: We can deal with all of that when we get there. Whirl: Oh, also, Drift--for the past few months Hiro and I have been working alone. This doesn't leave this room, got it? Drift: If they DON'T believe you, all we have to do is show up. Whirl: You tell no-one. H i r o: Oh, yeah. Top secret. Drift: Yeah—no, of course it doesn't leave the room. Whirl: And you will not tell anyone else, correct? Drift: I can keep a secret. *did anybody find out about Overlord before he escaped? no? didn't think so.* H i r o: I trust both you guys. Whirl: ((SICK)) H i r o: (( THE WIFE )) Drift: ((that's an impressive giant moving prop)) Drift: ((mickey's killing them)) H i r o: (( the old dragon used to be like. A puppet . Not a prop like that. )) H i r o: (( that's one huge animatronic )) Whirl: Well. *still incredibly awkward in the face of Hiro's earnestness* Yeah. Of course. H i r o: ... The only downside to going home is I'd miss you guys. H i r o: But, Baymax and I sort of worked a thing out! Drift: You'll be able to comm us. And we can bridge over any time. H i r o: Yeah. Maybe we can like. Visit here too. Whirl: Yep. Especially if we successfully finish that project. H i r o: I just hope my home isn't.. well. Too far ahead. Drift: ((imagine being one of the dancers on the right side of the ship. ain't nobody gonna see you.)) Whirl: Ugh, Cybertron isn't worth visiting. Whirl: but maybe we can arrange somewhere to meet up. H i r o: (( LOL right? )) Drift: ((they probably have to keep dancing even when nobody can see them JUST IN CASE somebody spies them from a weird angle. can't ruin the disney magic.)) H i r o: (( I used to want to be in this show so badly. ;A; but I am not talented )) Drift: ((one, you ARE talented)) Drift: ((two, half of them are waving a scarf while smiling. u can rock that.)) Whirl: ((YE)) H i r o: (( LOL well I guess )) Drift: ((imagine tho. "Cindy, you're getting a promotion." "Am I finally—?" "Left side of the boat." "YES")) H i r o: (( HAHAHAHA )) H i r o: (( anyway, that the new show *lifts leggie* )) Whirl: ((NICE)) H i r o: (( god have u guys seen the new bh6 tv show clips? *cries* Hiro is so stupid )) H i r o: Okay but... I have one request. [lifts hand] Drift: Yeah? Drift: ((yes!! it looks great)) Whirl: Shoot. H i r o: If this doesn't work- I mean, at all. If it doesn't get me home. H i r o: I don't want to try anymore. Drift: ... *small nod.* It's up to you. Whirl: Well, first of all, I don't intend to quit until it works. Whirl: So, not a problem. H i r o: Well, I know you won't, I'm just saying... Whirl: Well, if you decide to stay, I mean... good luck, I guess. H i r o: Every attempt has sent me somewhere else. Whirl: I couldn't tell you the first thing about making it around here. H i r o: I'm not even supposed to BE here. H i r o: I guess I'd just. Fly with Baymax in space. Drift: I'm sure we can make it work. Drift: No! No, absolutely not. I'm not allowing it. Drift: You're sticking with us. We LIKE you, Hiro. We don't want you to leave unless it's because you've found a place you'd rather be. Drift: NOT because you think you don't deserve to be with US. Which is false. Whirl: Hey, I'm not supposed to be here, either. H i r o: Dude. What happens if Starscream finds out I exist? I mean, I'll drop him flat no problem if I have to. Whirl: Half of us aren't. It's not a big deal. H i r o: I'm pretty sure he doesn't have far to fall. Whirl: He's goinjg to find out sooner or later--pfft. Drift: Starscream gets mad at us for, like, the fiftieth time. Big deal. Starscream doesn't rule this ship. H i r o: [ has never met starscream, but doesn't like the sound of him ] Whirl: Hiro I fully support any and all plans to stealthily assassinate Starscream. H i r o: ... I was just gonna have Baymax rocket punch his face in and then take him down myself. You know, a good kick to his ego. Whirl: ...or to loudly and obviously do it. Drift: Go for the optic. Shatter his optic and you can get straight through to his brain module. H i r o: (( Drift why would u say that that is terrible ) Whirl: Well, if you do that, he'll kill you both. I don't like Starscream, but you don't survive millions of years of war without being hard to kill. Whirl: I'd go for the nanobots, personally. H i r o: (( HES OFFENDED )) H i r o: (( THAT IS TERRIBLE CONSIDERING WHO YOUR BEST FRIEND IS )) H i r o: ... He has a brain? Whirl: They're small enough, and if you can control them, get them in there. In his vents, through his intake--and pull him apart from the inside-out. Drift: ((A STARSCREAM DESERVES TO GET SHOT THROUGH THE BRAIN)) Drift: ((AS COMPENSATION FOR BLURR)) H i r o: (( OKAY TRUE )) H i r o: ... My microbots can do a lot, really. Drift: They really can. H i r o: It's a lot easier these days. [ 8) ] Whirl: MICRObots, pardon. Drift: I bet it is. After all your training. *ayy? Ayyyyy? did drift do good* H i r o: Okay but... it's the three of us on this project now, right? Whirl: Anyway, one problem at a time, right? We can assassinate Starscream later. H i r o: ... [smiles at Drift ] Of course ! That helped me way more than anything else. Drift: *HEAVY SIGH* Yeah, I guess Starscream's gotta wait. Drift: *BEAMS* Whirl: *watches this. He chose a good person to be his backup on this problem. Excellent* Whirl: *project H i r o: You know... when I first got here, I thought you guys were the coolest things I'd ever met. Whirl: I'll touch base with you soon, Hiro. Like I said, gotta wrap up some things and all. *by which he means an unrelated wholly unsanctioned op* H i r o: Uh huh.. [nods ] Whirl: Heh. Whirl: *he shiftes into root mode at last and stands, streeetching* Whirl: I'm heading out for now, though. You know where to find me. Drift: *oh, yeah, he can do that too, can't he?* H i r o: Sure thing. I'll fill Drift in if he has questions about our project. Drift: *turns off his avatar, and transforms/somersaults out from the fort.* H i r o: [ laughs a little ] Whirl: *nods* Excellent. Feel free to ring me up if you need something else. Drift: The science is gonna be WAY over my head, just give me the basics. H i r o: Sure, that's easy. Whirl: Honestly, it's mostly over my head, too. I just know the mechanical aspects. H i r o: I know the science. H i r o: There we go. Perfect trio. H i r o: [ he knows like some science ] H i r o: [ he is not an expert in Cybertronian science ] Whirl: *more than us, I'm sure* Drift: *gets to his feat* I've gotta talk to a couple bots about moving their stuff, you can come by my office later and tell me what you've got? Whirl: All right, I'm out for now, you two. *salutes* H i r o: Uh, sure thing. I've got this uh... project to work on, though. H i r o: So, I might take a while. Whirl: Yeah... same. Whirl: *that's also part of the reason why Whirl's concerned about getting a backup, cos if this plan goes wrong, he'll be gone* Drift: ... Just don't do anything that's gonna blow up the ship. Whirl: *but now he's taken care of it* H i r o: ... Oh no, don't worry ,it's just surgery. Whirl: Nah, naah. H i r o: [ waves hand ] Anyway. I'll catch you guys later. Whirl: G'night, Hiro. Whirl: *bobs his head at Drift, as well* H i r o: [ yanks on a tarp and starts to take down his fort. He will drag all of this down the halls. ] Drift: You too. H i r o: [ it is his nest now ] Whirl: *and he will trot off* Drift: *... looks at whirl. feels like he should say SOMETHING to him, but...* Drift: *... not the time. leaves to get back to work.* H i r o: ( and thank u for coming to spend time with my dumb nerd ) Drift: ((thank U for the movie and show)) Whirl: ((THANK))

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 9

THE 25/10/16 UPDATE

WOW, third update in one day? I must be extremely bored or something. Anyways, I think we’re just gonna start this up without the big fucking intro part. Lets just. do this.

Come on you gay fucks, make up and KISS.

G U Y S. Also Jake, look at Dirks face not his ass.

OH man Jake looks sad and awkward.

DIRK: (Son of a fuck.) DIRK: (That was you trying to get me to leave you alone, wasn’t it?) JAKE: (I... well.) DIRK: (It’s fine. I get it, finally.) DIRK: (You don’t want anything to do with me, or this awkward dance we’ve been doing around each other.)

No damMIT, don’t leave him alone. you need to MAKE UP. not avoid eachother.

DIRK: (And I was convinced I'd actually try giving you some space so you wouldn’t have to deal with my overbearing bullshit anymore. Yet here I am.) DIRK: (Honestly, I’m not even sure why.) DIRK: (I just had this impulse to try and smooth things over with you by offering some sort of half-assed congratulations.)

You’re on the right track DIRK! You’re almost there, but instead of giving him a shitty congratulations, you need to work out whatever the your problem is dammit.

DIRK: (Sorry for making you uncomfortable for a solid 10 minutes by stringing that conversation along.) DIRK: (I’ll go bother someone else.) JAKE: (Dirk, wait!) DIRK: (What?) DIRK: (You don’t need to humor me. Or worry about hurting my feelings, or whatever.) DIRK: (You’re not obligated to care about any of that anymore.) DIRK: (That ship has sailed.)

A A . AH GH DF  Dirk you BUTT, just listen to the fuckin hope child.

pft thanks jake.

JAKE: (Thats not... oh pussyfeathers!) JAKE: (This is exactly the problem!) DIRK: (Uh.) DIRK: (It is?) JAKE: (Im so lousy at saying what i mean and then you put all of these words in my mouth and i have no idea how to make you understand!)

YES JAKE THIS IS PrecISELY THE PROBLEM! 

JAKE: (Maybe because i hardly understand myself...) DIRK: (...) JAKE: (This is all so difficult to parse. I am utterly fucking bamboozled by everything thats happened today.) JAKE: (Ive tried to politely get everything to hold its damn horses for perhaps ten friggin minutes but no!) JAKE: (Those stallions shot right out of the gate with forceful gusto and ive been trying to keep from being trampled underneath their thundering hooves this entire time!) JAKE: (There are SO MANY PEOPLE here.) JAKE: (And while im sure theyre all perfectly upstanding folk i have no clue how im supposed to TALK to any of them.) JAKE: (Especially when i cant even bring myself to engage with those whom i actually KNOW.) JAKE: (Because im certain there are a plethora of things i need to apologize for but im still puzzling out what exactly they are.)

Damn, I know the feeling Jake. When you know you’ve done something wrong, and you have no fucking clue what it is, yet somehow that makes you feel even GUILTIER because you think you SHOULD know what you did wrong.

DIRK: (Jake...) JAKE: (Honestly ive been resigning myself to the possibility of never speaking to anyone ever again!) JAKE: (Considering im such a dunce theres no way ill ever be able to figure out how to make things right with you or jane.) JAKE: (And if i badger roxy ill no doubt botch things up with her too somehow.)

Dont be ridiculous Jake, I honestly doubt there’s any way for Roxy to ever hate you.

JAKE: (So whats the point?) JAKE: (Im never going to be a good friend let alone a good anything... more than that.) JAKE: (So ive already accepted that im really just a waste of space and i ought to spend the rest of my life keeping out of everyones way.) DIRK: (Holy shit, Jake. What?) JAKE: (Its just the simplest solution for everyone involved. Im fine with it!)

Jake you BUMFUzZLING BAFOON. COme on, get a goddamn grip on yourself.

JAKE: (I was perfectly willing to mind my own beeswax and allow the rest of you to mind yours and make myself scarce when the opportunity arose.) JAKE: (But then you ambled up to me and put that plan on ice.) DIRK: (Jake.) JAKE: (Which has had me reeling for the past little while let me tell you!) JAKE: (I dont know what to do because im getting the vibe that perhaps you still want to be friends? Though I cant even begin to guess why!) JAKE: (And im so conflicted because theres a part of me that does want to give the whole friendship thing another go even though i know its bound to end in disaster.) DIRK: (Jake-) JAKE: (But if im really going to commit to that mad gamble, it feels like this might be my only real chance to try and patch things up between us!) JAKE: (Except im so blasted TIRED! And even thinking about fumbling through that conversation with all of these people around makes me want to curl up into ball and...) JAKE: (And embarrass myself.) JAKE: (Though attempting to salvage my pride at this point seems a fools errand. Nobody can possibly take me seriously while im NOT WEARING ANY FUCKING PANTS.)

DAMMIT JAKE NOWS NOT THE TIME TO BRING UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS

DIRK: (...) DIRK: (Ok.) JAKE: (Im sorry dirk i just cant right now. I cant. Its too much!) JAKE: (I know its so typical of me to chicken out and disappoint you.) DIRK: (Dude-) JAKE: (Sakes alive i cant believe i just went on and on like that what am i doing???)

You’re VENTING, Jake. It’s perfectly natural and everybody should be able to do it.

DIRK: (Ok!) DIRK: (Jake, I hear you!) DIRK: (You can stop, now.) DIRK: (The fact that you managed to whisper all that was pretty impressive.)

Yeah no shit. Like, how in the fuck was that a whisper?

DIRK: (But let’s take it down a notch. Like, to breathe.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (Are you ok? Maybe we should sit down or something.) JAKE: (No i... everyone else is standing.) DIRK: (I don’t really care, and nobody else should either. Your legs look like they’re about to give out.) JAKE: (Im really fine and can we please not talk about my legs.)

... dammit jake

DIRK: (Shit, sorry. Sure thing.) JAKE: (But. Maybe sitting isnt such a terrible idea.)

It isnt. its the best idea. sit down and TALK.

There you go, much better. Now dont fall.

DIRK: (Feeling any better?) JAKE: (A smidgen...) JAKE: (Are people looking at us?) DIRK: (Not sure. Probably not. But even so, you aren’t the only one who could use a breather. I’m sure they understand.) JAKE: (Ok...) DIRK: (So.) DIRK: (Sorry for putting words in your mouth. Looks like you already had plenty of your own in there.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (I mean, like. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m actually kind of glad you told me.) DIRK: (I’m going to be real with you here and say I’m more than a little concerned about some of what you just said.)

Yes, this is GOOD.  Dirk’s realizing that MAYBE Jake has problems of his own.

DIRK: (But I get you’re not in a position to talk about it right now. And, hell, there are probably better people to hash that shit out with than me.) DIRK: (You don’t have to say anything else. Especially not about... well, us, I guess.) DIRK: (I don’t know about a lot of the other stuff, but I’m perfectly willing to save opening up that particular can of worms for later.) DIRK: (I’m... probably not ready for that conversation either. So it’s most likely for the best.) DIRK: (Being perfectly frank, I’m also not exactly enthusiastic about this crowd. I’m not really used to having this volume of people around.) DIRK: (And I guess we’re both kind of at a loss when it comes to approaching them all. I demonstrated my lacking conversational chops earlier I think.) DIRK: (I knew it was a bad idea. But I came over here anyway.) DIRK: (Mostly because... I think I just really wanted to talk to you.) DIRK: (I guess old habits die hard.) DIRK: (Or in this case, ridiculously young ones.) JAKE: (Um...) DIRK: (Right. Getting to the point.) DIRK: (Whatever you may be thinking about yourself, I can pretty much guarantee you I don’t agree.) DIRK: (But I’m going to put that aside for now and just say that yeah, I really do still want to be friends.) DIRK: (If there’s some part of you that’s willing to give it a shot, I want you to promise me something.) JAKE: (Ok. What is it?) DIRK: (That you’ll put all that bullshit about cutting ties with everyone aside, at least for long enough to talk about this stuff properly later.)

Good, GOOD, they’re both not being idiots anymore. this is good. because holy shit that was awkward. they’re just gonna work out all their problems, and not be dumb shits over it.

DIRK: (It doesn’t even need to be with me. But just... somebody. I mean, don’t you want to talk to your grandma, dude? You’ve been pen pals for ages. And now she’s right there.) JAKE: (That, um... Yes actually. That does sound nice.) DIRK: (Good.) DIRK: (Maybe we ought to wrap this up, then.) DIRK: (Or am I wrong in thinking you still want some space?) JAKE: (So long as were all on this platform i doubt ill be getting very far with that either way.) DIRK: (True.) JAKE: (What i could really use is a NAP!) DIRK: (I feel that.) DIRK: (But it might have to wait a bit longer.) DIRK: (Think you can manage until then?) JAKE: (Probably?) DIRK: (And just to make things crystal clear...) DIRK: (Until we get our shit together enough to actually talk about, well...) DIRK: (You know what.) DIRK: (Are we cool?) JAKE: (I think so.) DIRK: (Thank fuck.)

Thank fuck indeed. I realize I didn’t say a whole lot during all this, mainly because I’m indifferent to this whole conversation. I’m not realizing anything new about them other than that they were really annoying when they tried avoiding the subjects. in a weird adorable awkward kinda way.

Yes, there we go, fucking SMILE. 

DIRK: (C’mon.) DIRK: (Let’s go claim our reward.)

GO get’em tiger.

Alright, that was the end of their interaction! It was a little boring to read over, so that kinda made it tedious. not because the act omega team wrote it bad! i just never really cared much for either of these characters. BUT that’s fine. just personal preference and shit. BUT NOW WE GET A CHARACTER INTERACTMENT IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO.

Here we are aN HOLY SHIT JADES EYES. I dont know what it is about them, they just look off.... HMMmm..

JADE: (hey rose?) ROSE: (Oh, hello Jade.)

8D THEY FINALLY MEET

ROSE: (I see you’ve finally woken from your nap.) JADE: (yeah!!! thank goodness!) JADE: (now i can finally give you a proper nice to see you hug!)

OH YES HUG HER NOW JADE

ROSE: (Is that so?) ROSE: (Well, It would be remiss of me to refu-)

8D....

thats the end of this update. I suppose I can ship them next time So yeah, expect a fourth update today.

[noonachronicles]

She’s a Monster Pt. 5

Choi Youngjae X Reader Ft. Im Jaebum/JB

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 .

“I'm so excited!” She said squeezing Youngjae’s arm as they walked together through Cheonggyecheon Plaza.

He laughed lightly, “What are you so excited about, jagiya?”

“All of this. It's our first date actually doing something instead of just being at my place or your place or hidden in a closet somewhere... and it's a double date, and I get to meet Hyesun. Finally! After months of stories I get to meet the legend for myself.”

They were running a little late even though when Youngjae arrived to pick her up she had been ready and waiting to leave. When she told him her roommate was out he had to take advantage of it. Which meant that she had to get redressed and redo her hair and makeup, and Youngjae had to clean the lipstick off his neck, but they were sure JB wouldn’t mind.

The plaza was packed with people. Full families with kids that were running around wildly. Pods of friends laughing and joking around. And couples, so many couples, kissing and taking pictures around the lantern displays along the stream.

“I’m sorry.” Youngjae said quietly kissing her cheek.

“What for?” she asked lifting up his favorite big black hat she had stolen from him to wear.

“For being a bad boyfriend. For not taking you out on real dates like you deserve.”

“Youngjae, no, that’s not what I meant.” She said stopping him. “I love our relationship. I love every second I get to spend with you no matter how we spend it. I wasn’t complaining.”

He smiled and kissed her again, a long sweet kiss on the lips that she savored, “I know you weren’t, but I’m still sorry. You deserve to be taken out on the town, shown off. I’m proud to be with you. I just worry about you having to be caught up in all of it once people find out.”

“Don’t worry. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy. I’m good.” she assured him and tucked her arm under his once more.

“Ooh, hold this?” he asked handing her his camera before pulling his phone from his pocket. “Hey. We’re close. Just passed under Gwantong. Okay, bye.”

“JB?” she asked as they kept walking. Youngjae nodded sticking his phone back in his pocket and taking the camera from her.

“They already bought the lanterns.”

It wasn’t much longer at all until they found JB and Hyesun sitting on the steps near the stream. When JB spotted them he got up quickly and raised his eyebrows at Youngjae. She watched curiously as they seemed to speak using only facial expressions. Finally, after JB had handed Youngjae their two lanterns, he turned to her and smiled.

“Hey, Y/N. Good to see you.” he shoved his hands in his pockets.

She wanted to give him a hug like she normally would but something told her it was for the best if she didn’t. Hyesun stood up and sighed heavily before shoving her arm under JB’s and glaring at y/n.

“JB, introduce us.” she hissed.

“Uh, Y/N this Hyesun. Hyesun, this is Youngjae’s girlfriend, y/n.”

“JB failed to mention, but I’m his girlfriend.”

She nodded politely, “JB has actually told me all about you.” Y/N wasn’t sure how it was possible but Hyesun glared at her even harder. “Just like really good things, in like a mutual setting where other people were also around…”

Youngjae snorted and wrapped his arms around her pulling her completely into his oversized jacket. He dipped his head to hers and whispered, “Don’t be so scared. She can smell your fear.”

JB sighed, “We should go find a spot for our lanterns.”

“Yeah, since we’ve already been waiting around for a half hour, maybe we could actually do something.” Hyesun spit. JB looked toward the stream and rolled his eyes.

“There were still a lot of empty spaces back up this way,” y/n offered and turned quickly, pulling Youngjae along with her.

The four of them found an empty spot to hang their lanterns and JB handed out markers so they could write their messages. He mentally kicked himself for letting his fingers linger too long on Y/N’s when he passed her a marker, knowing that Hyesun would have noticed even when Y/N clearly wasn’t phased by the contact.

He watched with a pang of jealously as she and Youngjae flirted, trying to hide their messages from each other, sharing quick kisses, being generally happy together. Hyesun kept her eye over his shoulder as he wrote his message. She had been angry when he told her that that Youngjae had texted him that they would be late. She had been angry at the children that had accidentally bumped her purse. She was just angry, she was angry at everything and he could feel it tearing him down. He was finding it hard tonight to remember the last time he felt in love with her. He was embarrassed by how she was acting, furious about how rude she was being to Y/N, but he didn’t want to fight. Not here, not now, but definitely later.

He watched as Youngjae tickled her sides as she tried to hang her lantern. He eyed the drawing she’d done of them kissing and read her wish for health and happiness in their relationship. Youngjae’s lantern was just as cute and he felt sick. He hung his lantern up quickly and shoved his hands in his pocket. Youngjae and Y/N offered to go and get them snacks and warm drinks from one of the many vendors up on the street and he knew they were grateful for the chance to be away from Hyesun, he wished he could go with them.

“Do you have to be like that?” he asked angrily as soon as Youngjae and Y/N were out of earshot.

“Do you have to make it so obvious you’re in love with her?” Hyesun retorted.

“I’m…” JB hesitated, “I’m not. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You couldn’t be staring at her any harder, Jaebum. You used to look at me like that, with longing. Have you told your best friend?”

“Told him what? That you’ve lost your mind?”

“That you’re in love with his girlfriend. What’s your plan JB? Are you going to steal her away, right under his nose? It would be easy, she clearly likes you too.” Hyesun crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m not going to steal her…god, you’re being crazy.” He shook his head, “I don’t want to do this Hyesun, not here, but I can’t… I can’t be with you anymore.”

“Trust me, I can’t be with you either.” She grabbed his lantern and pulled it down from the wall and faced it towards him. “If you’re not in love with her, why’d you put her name on your lantern?”

He grabbed the paper lantern as Hyesun shoved it in his hands and watched her stomp away. Looking around he quickly crumpled the delicate paper lantern and shoved it in his pocket. His heart was pounding. How had he not realized that he’d written her name?

They sat cuddled together under a blanket as the cool autumn air nipped at them. The mood pretty somber as JB told her what had happened at the festival when they’d gone away and come back to find him alone. He left out several key points. She sat quietly and contemplative as she always did when he vented. When he was done speaking he waited for her to collect her thoughts.

“You guys were together for a long time, so I can understand why you might feel like you owe her, but you don’t. I can understand, being with someone as handsome and talented as you that she’d be protective and jealous even, but the way she behaved was… it was something else..” She said thoughtfully. “Don't feel like if it’s really over between you two that it means you've wasted your time. You should think of it as an experience, as many lessons learned.”

“Say it’s really over and I don’t try to contact her... ” he played with the idea, “What if it's a mistake? Maybe she's the one and this is just a rough patch.”

“Can you really live without ever making mistakes?” She asked genuinely. He hummed in response. “From what you've told me over the past few months Jaebeom, it isn't a rough patch. You deserve real happiness, whether it's alone or with someone else. Maybe it's too bold to say, but, if she doesn't make you happy she doesn't deserve to be with you.”

“I don't like to be alone though.” He admitted.

She chuckled, “You won't be alone. You'll have me.”

He wasn't sure why but as he looked over at her JB’s heart began to race. “I will?”

“Of course!” She smiled, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight like stars. “And Youngjae, and Jackson, and Mark, and Bambam, and Gyeomie, and Jinyoung and Coco…You could never be alone JB, you are very loved.”

He smiled weakly. “We should go back inside. I don't want you to get sick, and Youngjae will be wondering where you are.”

She nodded in agreement and leaned over pressing her lips against his cheek, “Everything will work out.”

He watched her hop up off the seat and shiver slightly before running inside. The absence of her warmth left him immediately uncomfortable. Looking out over the city lights he realized wasn't sure what he was thinking or feeling anymore, but he worried that he might really be in love with her.

“You’re freezing.” Youngjae murmured against her shoulder when she slipped back into bed with him. “Were you outside with JB again?”

“Yeah,” she said absentmindedly, scooting herself closer to him so that her backside was flush against his front and she could fully enjoy his warmth. “He wanted to talk about Hyesun. I think they’ve really broken up this time.”

“He confides in you a lot.” Youngjae ran his warm hand over her chilled arms.

“If it makes you uncomfortable…”

“No. I'm glad he has someone outside of the guys.” He kissed the back of her neck. “You're still so cold. I don't want you to get sick.”

She rolled her hips so that her butt pressed into his lap causing him to groan. “So stop talking and warm me up.”

[castlehead]

[identity vices]

[who the fuck were we?, we didn’t know, but when we had a shred of a notion, it was the biggest thing in the real world, i get my shreds and move on think of something about myself as im quietly stocking shelves and the whole time it’s just there, in my heart, and I’m just doing what I do cuz nobody cares I say, how was your weekend ah, slept in, didn’t do much the mundane is the single most common mask, precisely because it is what it says it is, it’s foolproof, locked I mean people do care, friends do, but you don’t pay people to be your friend, and that’s what ****** was: just a bunch of fucked up rich kids thinking they were making way, myself included, because we paid people to congratulate us for the most insignificant shit       hahahaha hahahaha that’s not psychology it’s pedology it’s infantile So basically, they were making up for us all having fucked up parents?        or fucked up childhoods?                      there’s something my mom says to me: "it’s never too late to have a happy childhood" I think that’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten. As crazy as it is, I feel like I’ve stabilized in a way. Maybe it’s premature, but I feel like that level of depression is behind me, not because I won’t ever be that fucked up again, but because I can rationalize it and deal with it better now. And the past is just that — it’s something behind me.         I feel powerful, like I have a choice in my own life again. that’s amazing and that’s giving credence to your will to move at all it starts not with the choice but with the belief that there is one, after all. inertia means powerlessness, fated to be nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing just a marble rolling across frictionless space that’s for the universe to give a will to, if there even is a thing so wild the will to salute yourself      that’s what I’m glad you’ve found I mean, our own interpersonal relationships weren’t compliment based, I don’t think   in a way, they were but they were also driven off of needs that we still have to this day I think between you and I, there’s one night in particular that comes to mind

you were crying in ***********

and I consoled you         it was a very human experience for me but I’m not complimenting, just saying that the seeing of choice in one’s life through the depressive whatever-fog, is maybe a shred I’d keep close, because it’ll always be the first thing people who are depressed will need to do before they act: find the will.           .  [SIDETHOUGHT: [The ‘proper’ way to read a poem or novel should be interpreted by the majority who read it, not the minority consisting of scholars and schoolmarms. The good perception of words is what effect taken in by the greater good. That, after all, is why she^ lasts. The greater good has taken its opinion over to sit with her after you slept all night on the park bench, wouldn’t even get up to let the great hunk of their collective ass hunker down next to you—once you moved that silly raincoat, it already stopped pouring five seconds ago. On top of your drenched body, the common good reads The Wasteland as your skull slowly crushes beneath the incontinent hams of a bubbling, a farting girth of what even though just metaphor must weigh as much as the continent itself, or western hemisphere if you prefer a lil meat. On bones.]]] ? ?           .  Who: Kafkazzzo, Freckett K. Where: Frumple of a/my bedroom, (a) Earth, getting ready to head to—a party— When: 4:42AM. Though it’s probably already happy hour somewhere. As the saying goes. What Dimension: Third Possibly Askew And Flattened Like A Very Delicious Pancake Into What Dimension: 4th, time Background: Mobile lamp way too bright. Cigarette resting in glass ashtray. Empty glass of water, purposelessness, general purposelessness. I am evading that space of it tho. And silence only stopped by the glum entreaty of the air conditioning system. Noises, kds. playing baseball in the courtyard, downstairs. Drugs Ingested: Pot. Any Pharms?: Klonopin, maximum required dosage, Lithium, Cymbalta (duloxetine HCI)               And I punch him in the face. You by me a soda YOU BUY ME A SODA "You buy me soda?" Said RANDOM FRENCH GUY. “Sure.” Reached into pocket. Gave RANDOM FRENCH GUY four dollars. My Wallet has Hawaii on it. There are two pictures of HAWAII on each side of the wallet. They are the same picture. Somewhere there is a person who I am a reflection of, a year’s ago same picture, and everywhere I see and repel this sameness if that is I see it in others, however small the observation. Except, of course, if I observe such things in her. I do not wish however for others to have the same glitches. Human character is diverse enough to go a night at a party without reminiscence, eh? She is in the left ventricle of my heart, clearly seen by microscope, eating away at the cement walls there. That to the human eye, is mere idiosyncratic dominion. They say. And they say to me should I just gulf out one person from another if I have some chick who used to have big boobs chewing on my left ventricle, by now a block of pure cement fresh from the whisking mixer? How could I tell them that if so then both aren’t to be found again in the other, which is me, together; I lose her I lose myself. Then who would we be, remain as? Perhaps it does not matter to her. Or like to be even, who would I get to be if I can grant myself that? I guess what I am trying to say is that I “I need more dollar. Buy pizza.” “Only because you’re French. Consider it a war bond for the next time those Germans come to kick your sorry ass.” I gave him three dollars without thinking about it. Don’t think about it. Not often. Always willing to spot. Never have money to spot with. Because I spot so much. Drunk thinking. Here’s half a forty I’m chugging. The liquid goes down my esophagus. It is meant to be drunk to make you drunk. Everything should have meaning. That is how life should work, but it doesn’t work that way at all. It’s groping for good in life and scratching [searching] out for crumbs like tickets, no lotto, again, and the chaff of once purposed greatness led on its way up higher and higher from conscious desire, throwing away everything, only to come upon none other than unconscious desire: and then the desire is all that remains, ah so I guess that is what I would be. A lustfiend. Surviving in and of himself as a medical-grade loner. Him the result of his own destruction, the result itself, seen safely from a distance of billions of miles into his head, somewhat like a black hole. And I am like a dog forever biting its tail in an effort to gnaw the thing off. Except we are MAN, and so we hack off our tails with bare bodkins and pursue our efforts and dismays daily, diffusing it all as like a poison of the tragically mundane. Life goes well spooned together with a nice molasses of confused sensations to create the pastiche that is for our lives and for life, yes, but this becomes rather what we see in life: it might be equally as false or true, it might be: LIFE, yes, that grand, technical, way-out-there celebrity in gloves, and hardly enjoying himself at the awards ceremony, his smile attempting to reach to the ceiling, and to look maybe for a vent or some means of escape or even a deadly event as tragic as ever: well yeah who cares he is merely at a cheap height of the cosmos after all is said and done but no one knows where exactly it is done saying, so this image goes and rakes in the cosmopolitanism around him anyhow. Hungry, not for that, but having no other means to sate himself. Well, nothing like the stacks of cash this demiurge counterfeits on regular to land a celeb in jail. All the time? For years, yo. Nobody figured it out. And well don’t you know, I might say back, that God doesn’t do cash, that’s some stairway to heaven shit. God says this to me, in a toys-r-us of course, buying his fifth monopoly game board this week, opening it up, and stuffing the monopoly money in astounding pants. I suppose he is just as anyone who does this would be, now, officially desperate to pay rent:

GOD say: For, we whom are not yourselves live in coves, and do not disrupt the willing men and women of the surf to splash upon our chapped land and get up foot to foot and dust off themselves, off. It is they do not bother. The only off is on in the cave of the Removed. Stalactites filled in full rings by the petrifying jelly of screams and shrieks, of you—clear, consumptive squawks. You continue to at least darken this prison cell with your resignation, bars thick enough to shrink the teeth of my steel monster, you all beneath my skin, lingering on the meddling cusp of what I don’t know—what I don’t understand, perhaps we don’t, I know I don’t—I look at the world as though on a merry-go-round that blurs things. People smiling and looking with pleasant face. Every still phantasm, you, staring back and looking into a deep lecherous void in my eye I see. Meanwhile, it is OK: we the Removed have already supplanted that steel monster with a giant, happy frog to distract you [when you weren’t looking]. It gaily farts and bubbles in the mud and says with his blank eye [as though frogs could speak at all!] no, that we cannot go, o no, o no, NO, cannot go to heaven. Enough of farce. I’m listening to twee music. What does it matter. What does any of it matter any more. Twee crap blends in with the rest of this mess. I’ll try and get sleep, later. So many memories. Touching me. Wresting my heart from its bone prism. All the horrible memories, the forgetting me by friends I thought would stay, the forgotten sadness I too have let pass painlessly out of recollection. Sadness, sadness, deep sadness. Friends out somewhere getting wasted all alone, [as I was, am, tho it used to b among people] with just their good company to keep. Eaten by the night. Wake up, scratch leg, bug bite. Lighted I am and my recollections only by the perfidious youth sense nowadays and leaking out with regularity. Anyway let them say that was all they ever had. Ha! And yet already as I see them in my mind’s eye, through film: musty, shitty film that ratchets against the projector like a master the axe to hitch in his steed the leftover stump from last Spring, doubled with mosses for whatever reason considered consumptive to the land, or was it, they were poisonous?, my friends, they are all so very old. I am so very old.