#this is not about my online friends
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i am THIS CLOSE to deleting all my social media apps at least temporarily it’s shit for my mental health and i know it
#idk i probably won’t#or just tiktok because that one’s the worst#i just feel like my ability to think normally and be a rational human is being slowly ruined#by constantly absorbing everyone’s extreme black and white opinions on the internet#and there’s always new ‘drama’ for lack of a better word that just makes me constantly anxious and upset#to simplify it i basically just feel chronically online#not to mention how much time i waste on meaningless shit like tiktok#idk i just feel so drained by feeling obligated to get emotionally involved in every single argument online ever#i hate investing so much of my happiness in the internet and people who have no idea i exist#don’t worry i’ll still be on discord and stuff if i do end up doing it#this is not about my online friends#just not like public platforms#at least for a while#sorry i’ve just been so exhausted by social media recently#brain thoughts#rants
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if anyone needs help identifying things that can become moral scrupulosity OCD obsessions/compulsions, heres a list of some i've experienced:
rereading your posts/texts over and over
checking your notes and/or followers list frequently to "make sure" bad actors aren't interacting with you
checking OP's blog before interacting with posts
compulsively opening a social media tab to look at your notifs and then closing it, over and over
fearing ways that things you say/do (or don't do) could be taken in bad faith. being anxious that your words/actions will be misconstrued as morally wrong, bigoted, rude, or aggressive
feeling guilty or obsessing over whether you should or shouldn't have reblogged a post
feeling like you aren't "allowed" to disengage from online discourse or unfollow people who post it
fearing you're being stalked, talked about, or called out behind your back. fearing you'll never be forgiven and that people might even celebrate your disappearance or death, even though you havent done anything wrong
searching your own name/username to see if anyone is actually talking about you
imagining defenses you would make against nonexistent heinous accusations or arguments against you, to prove that you didnt do it
feeling like you have to roll over and become a doormat when others are cruel to you, because it could cause strife if you do anything other than grovel or apologize
having trouble enforcing your own boundaries out of fear that they are somehow "wrong" or unethical
ending up surrounded by people who have all the "right opinions" but are super mean and unpleasant, and make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells
fearing that just HAVING moral ocd makes you a bad person somehow (for example, i often fear that having moral ocd is somehow pushing a 'stranger danger' or misanthropist agenda, even though i actually have a lot of faith in my fellow humans)
some of these bullet points are not inherently bad on their own, but if you find yourself having this kind of anxiety very often, that's not normal, and it's time to get offline or even seek professional help if it's impacting your life
this list is catered to how online culture influences moral scrupulosity, it is not indicative of how everybody's moral scrupulosity functions, and it is not exhaustive
#amygdalae#ocd#actually ocd#moral ocd#moral scrupulosity#ive had OCD since as far back as i can remember but it used to be religious and contamination related#i actually started to grow out of my OCD symptoms until i started using social media as a teenager. i had trouble making friends IRL#i ended up in some very emotionally abusive online friend groups that basically trained these behaviors into me like a dog#its not entirely their fault. its something im just biologically predisposed to. and it can latch onto anything!#the wild part about OCD is that it grows and changes with you. for better or for worse
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this is coming from the position of a student, so don't take my word as gospel, but i want to strongly encourage people to prepare for the coming years and look outward to find communities in real life. this can be big like getting involved in fundraisers or organizations or small like going to poc/queer/art social spaces and talking to people. making friends and connections will help you and others build support networks, something you will need as we enter the new term. i know talking to strangers in real life can be scary, unfamiliar, or difficult (depending on where you live especially) and it may take a lot of compromising and work –– and i don't want to condescend –– but we have to try starting now. this is about your safety and welfare, as well as the most vulnerable people's.
if leftists/progressives/minorities want to survive and beat back what's coming, we need to do our work offline too and take up space. an example of getting involved would be (if you're an artist) reaching out to fundraising organizers and making prints of your artwork to donate for raising funds.
#personal#this doesn't account for everyone but it's something to think about#also please be nicer to people. leftists especially on social media have a tendency to be mean in a very unconstructive way to each other#and i don't want to discount what they tend to be angry or mean about because it often does matter but i hope our first reaction toward#a dissenting opinion or behavior is a little grace instead of immediately dunking on each other for points#i'm also not saying online communities and spaces aren't any good for support but. it might not be enough. put the work in to prep yourself#it sucks how when right wingers lose they blame leftists. when leftists lose we blame each other.#leftists blame liberals and liberals blame poc voters and it can be completely true and warranted and then we all get killed#please resist doing that this time#be a friend; show some grace; look out for each other please#an example from my life would be i've been going to munches and queer/kink events and meeting friendly people#it's pretty tiring socializing and working through those interactions and by the end i'm also pretty tired#but it's worth it because not only do i know someone irl who's like me but if they're ever in trouble or need help#i can be a potential lifeline to them in an immediate way. and vice versa
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Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point
(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)
Have a nice day !
you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...
(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")
all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.
(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)
as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.
(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#gentle spoilers but y'know. just in case#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#most of the kitchen scene was jade messing with the firsties and that was so delightful that i didn't think til after#that you'd think sebek would have made some kind of reference to lilia 'i lost my tastebuds in the war' vanrouge's quote-unquote cooking#ah well. jade being mean is more than entertaining enough#looking forward to more of it tomorrow!#god. lilia and idia though.#lilia is like. genuinely idia's best friend and neither of them have any idea#and idia keeps doing that 'ha ha what if we were friends out of game too? what if we met offline? jk jk jk uNLESS...👉👈'#and then he immediately chickens out because he's so convinced that crimson will hate him if they ever met irl#(meanwhile lilia is just like 'my online bestie is so cool :) la la la')#they are both so stupid and i love them so much#i've just realized that i actually do want them to find out each other's identities#because idia doesn't just go to school with his online bff#he ALSO goes to school with his online bff's extremely supportive and extremely socially-inept kids#idia is going to get invited to dinner at diasomnia and it's going to be SO awkward#silver is going to give a long formal speech thanking him for being a stalwart comrade and trusted warrior brother to his father#as sebek stews in jealousy that idia got to fight by lilia-sama's side >:(#while idia sits there like 'all i did was link him a video about lane control for his character class'#malleus will make such an effort to learn literally anything about online gaming and he won't understand a word of it#it will be SUCH a disaster and i very much do want it now
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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me
#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot#i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff#but even that is important in its own way in the end#union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game#its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game#bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends#and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot#but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately#and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration#even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format#i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game#ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know#there are so many different flavors they could go with here#alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series#like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain#which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot#kingdom hearts#kh#mine: kh
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ngl one of the most useful things i’ve internalized from doing art online is never tell people what to criticize. don’t preemptively apologize for things or point out where you think you fumbled, it’s just priming people to notice minor issues that might not actually matter and hit you where you’re sensitive and throw you off your game. don’t tell people your weak points. if it’s a genuine problem they’ll point it out
#especially not if they’re the professor grading your assignment!!!!!!!!!! feel so bad for my friend#i cant tell him it now bc it’ll come across as mean but i feel so bad :( he kept apologizing for things he didn’t need to and it made him#seem unprepared. when he actually had 95% of what he needed and apologizing made it LOOK like he didn’t#text✨#i’m making it sound very dramatic here but it’s straight up helped me so much with my anxiety#the above doesn’t apply if you’re looking for constructive criticism kr any thing#i’m very specifically talking about stuff like posting art online or giving a presentation or whatever
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oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!
Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#Club penguin#ask#I've drawn a lot of strange crossovers for MDZS but this one really takes it up a notch#I saw this ask and thought “yeah why not. I've been meaning to do style studies. Let's experiment.”#And the moment my pen hit my tablet I was struck by the need to make it even worse.#Perhaps I am just nostalgic for club penguin and pengu but I think there is something magical about them holding hands.#Anyways I think younger WWX would have loved club penguin. It's the joy of the minigames and hanging out with your friends online.#Lan Wangji could never get past the fact the 'Ask your parent/guardian!' part of registration.#Either because he knew Lan Qiren would have said no *or* because he asked once and got turned down.#Lan Xichen probably was like 'Hey I can help you with that :)' to which LWJ said no because that was breaking the rules.#But if I *had* to put wangxian in a club penguin AU? Yeah 1000% it's LWJ as a mod and WWX as a notorious (nootorious) griefer.#WWX would be trying to speed run how fast he can get banned or how much he can get away with.#Getting removed and returning over and over earns him the 'necromancer of CP' title in the community. Loathed by many.#Meanwhile LWJ is about to seriously consider doxxing this guy just to get him to stop making his volunteer hobby less of a nightmare.#Cue 10 years later. They meet up on the ice flow on the last day before the servers get shut down. They have a genuine heart to heart.#Three years later on Club Penguin rewritten: two grown men decide to relive their childhood one more time.#Fate draws them to the same server.#I ask again. Do you think love can bloom on the digital sea ice?
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bus stop! 🚏🚎
#bnha#mha#ochako uraraka#shouto todoroki#todochako#todochako u will always be bffs forever and ever#i think they should go on lunch outings and wear cute clothes and gush about their wonderful friends izuku and tenya#made this as a gift for my friend lola @bunnyresorts!! posting it now since im online again :)#eggsdrawings
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trying to figure out if the continued nausea is related to intense stress and travel schedule or something simple like food poisoning or an infection
#21 hours of driving complete and I have about 12 more to go to take friend home#apologies for not being super active online#im currntly trying to queue up art and asks so it doesn't seem like it#i havent even unpacked or gotten the chance to get out my con haul yet#im exhausted and possibly ill and been upsetty spaghetti#i did however come up with a short nari/lamb one shot though#sara shush#edit: adding a 'queued while traveling' tag to my posts
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happy 4th birthday to the most batshit ask I’ve ever received on this webbed site!!
#deity dialogue#for context: this was sent after i made a post asking if my tone of speaking soemtimes sounds rude because I struggle with tone#additional follow up context: this person saying my coworkers should find me scary was in regards to a post where I said that I can’t#successfully scare my coworkers but they succeed in scaring me#but all that aside what a wild and shitty thing to send to a stranger online who you know nothing about! I hope this person is lying about#as my psychologist like fuck off#the funniest part is them saying they sent it on anon because if they didn’t other people would be lining up begging them to diagnose them#this ask made me turn off anon asks for the first time ever btw#idk just sending an ask like this to someone you only know through a couple posts online is such a shit person move#shout out to my followers and friends at the time who all teamed up to clown on this person for this shit
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Hi! I saw you answering asks for the system possession au, and I have a very stupid question. Did the system possess SQQ after he looked into that curse revealing mirror and everyone could see the system window in his eyes?
I had figured that they are separate, because you often do fanart for fanfics, but you said the peak lords aren't pushing SQH because their insistance caused this, sooo. I just need to have it spelled out for me. I did not connect the dots
aaa! it's not your fault for not connecting, I didn't explain stuff properly!
Yes, the whole system possession thing started after I made those comics for the og post! I was chatting with my friend and we went "ok what if after this the peak lords tried another intervention and the system possessed sqq?" and then I just started drawing without a plan and now here we are! I'll go tag those first pages as system possession too actually or make a masterpost.
in short, peak lords saw the system in sqq's eyes, tried to intervene twice, and on the second time the system took over to "fix" the plot and has been making everyone's lives miserable.
#ask#system possession#i've been jumping between diffrent chats with various friends about this and forgot to put CONTEXT to my madness online
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“mia why did it take you 45 minutes to make an instant noodle”
well uh
well
look i got more ingredients in my kitchen than good sense okay
#i have friends to hang out with and projects to finish but no ridiculous pot noodle brunch is what my brain says#food#there really isn't recipe unless you want the recipe for the tea eggs or the beef shank#the tea eggs are an easy search online and the beef shank..... gonna have to interview my mom about that#well you know the saying#either the ancestors airdrop the correct vibes into my brain or i eat bad soup those are my options
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sometimes i scroll thru my tumblr dash & think to myself with a bit of awe how lucky i am to be surrounded by a world full of beautiful ppl doing beautiful things. & yeah no there's no punchline to this one actually. i just love u
#i hate the internet a lot of the time but honestly it's quite breathtaking that i can find with a few clicks people who are passionate about#the same things as me! and people proudly being passionate about things i never knew existed!#people creating things and people making jokes and people talking and people loving what they love with their entire heart & soul#its just. its good to see. it makes me feel better.#this post is brought to u by all the talented artists i follow and my online friends#sometimes joy is made of tiny interactions with people u will never meet. someone shows me their art and i say it's beautiful. it changed#my life. and then we go on living#hope#🐝
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I can't stay away from tumblr because I like reading radfem and gender critical blogs (and also I live here unfortunately just by virtue of being a gay loser artist) and this is the most populated place for that kind of discussion, but holy shit it gets so bleak seeing just how easily radfems are strawmanned and how the most popular posts on this website are still so deeply entrenched in very cognitively dissonant thought built on misogyny and refuses to engage with any kind of opposition or critique.
I believe in healthy discourse and discussion! I want to hear people's arguments and insights and learn why people believe certain things! but one (very large, very popular) ideological side of this website is so fundamentally incurious and hostile towards changing their minds at all, and there's just such a lack of what could be a really productive public forum where feminist and progressive thought could be freely discussed, this being a women-dominated and same-sex attraction dominated website and all. especially because it's already so difficult to discuss those kinds of things in real life as the majority of people don't really care or relate to any of it.
I really wish I could just log off forever sometimes and never have to think about this again. alas, I quite like to think, and the internet is still the best way to find the community and the perspectives which I seek. born to participate in community and discussion of theory, forced to gaze upon a field of strawmen alone (⌣_⌣”)
#myo is rambling.#radical feminism#gender critical#complaining about self made problems I guess#but in my defense it is incredibly difficult to find offline spaces for the discussion I seek#despite how freely I like to speak online I am still a socially underdeveloped pushover irl lmaoo#I don't quite have the charisma to introduce these conversations to real life friends#though I do try and explain anti-kink/anti-porn stuff and that honestly goes across pretty well with female friends !! small wins
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Rare vent art from me? Rare vent art from me <3
Something something isnt it weird how everyones AU seems to reflect their own personal issues?
I also made it purposely vague as to which pair of Leos this is since it doesnt matter either way, its whatever pair you want I suppose
#vent art#2 arms left#btw this has nothing to do with all my online friends I love yall#and my dearest best friend ever if you see this#nothing about you either and I am super happy for what you did earlier#love ya too
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going back home after hanging out with someone living independently makes me die inside. i'm trying to stay #positive but i'm actually losing my mind. I think I have to have a serious talk with my mom about this because i'm fr going to kill someone. she will say it's stupid I consider moving out because it's too expensive but I will literally live in someone's closet if necessary. if someone ever kidnaps me i'll live in the basement. I won't even leave. in this economy you have to split rent with your kidnapper
#my friend is responsive so far about finding other people who need a roommate at least#but this would be over an hour from where I work so i'd have to get a different job and not have health insurance for a while#remote work would be a lot better. but I can't tell which remote jobs are legit online
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