#this is not a real anything please let my dumbness not bother you

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[panthrology]

waking up horny in the dead of night with SUGURU GETO as your boyfriend is actual hell sometimes

i just know that this man has the worst attitude when really tired. who can blame him? being a guy as hot as he is cannot be easy.

“girl—” suguru would grunt and turn back over after shaking him awake for dick. for dick. yeah self-inflicted really. other times he wouldn't say anything at all, just shoot you a nasty look.

but a girl has her needs.

“baby please?” you try again, perching your chin onto his buff arm. “the dream was a little too detailed.” a small pout forms on your puckered lips.

“that isn't my fault,” suguru counters, the soft bass in his voice resounding in your shared bedroom. “you couldn't have waited until there was light outside?”

you shake your head.

“must be tough. good night, sweetheart.”

this man. you groan out an exasperated ‘suguru!’ and curve over his form, staring at him as if he can see you through his closed eyelids.

“no, y/n.”

“i’ll top?”

you lied.

you knew damn well you couldn't be bothered to ride him to an orgasm at two in the morning and so did suguru. so when he scoffed and muttered “roll over.” you were grinning victoriously.

“I don't belive you.” suguru hissed, lifting up your hoodie over your hips and feeling up the skin of your ass.

“sorry, sugu’.” you're breathless already when he starts spreading the globes of your ass apart to take a good look at your cunt through low lidded eyes with the sleep and arousal still weighing them down. suguru merely tutted, wrapping a hand around his bobbing cock to push his tip in for the second time tonight.

you tensed as you sunk your head into the pillow in front of you. suguru had a big dick. you knew that much from the time you caught wind of what his attitude was like. nonchalant, quiet confidence, tall, pretty large hands. You'd be surprised if he didn't.

“y/n..if you don't relax. I can't move if you're trying to crush me.” you roll your eyes—so dramatic.

you ease up, but quickly choke on your breath when he slides all the way in, filling you with his thick inches. your pussy flutters at the intrusion, squeezing suguru again. “shiittt baby..” yeah—he undoubtedly missed that.

and when suguru sees your ass ripple and hips jump forward with every deep thrust, he suddenly thinks that he made a good decision.

but he was still fucking tired.

“mm-mm, don't run from me, sweetheart. you wanted me to give it to you, so take it—take this dick ‘fore I take it away.”

“you're so needy, can't even let a man sleep.”

“pretty girl just can't stop creamin’ all over me, so cute.”

“listen t'thaat, it's like your pussy's doin’ all the talking. have i made you dumb already, sweetheart?

for someone who’s so fatigued, he can't seem to shut up at all. mumbling and groaning nastiness all up in your ear like he's drunk on your pussy. suguru thinks he just might be.

he's got a firm grip on your hair and one digging into the fat of your hip, balls thwacking against your sticky cunt. suguru's strokes are mean, every ridge of his cock rubbing against your cushy walls. you're actually drooling, the dizzying mixture of exhaustion and pleasure making you float higher than the pearly gates. Yet with the way your hole squelches when he goes real deep..and his fat tip grinds on that one spot, you're going anywhere but heaven.

You don't even have to say it, suguru knows. suguru knows you're about to cum when he can feel you sporadically squeeze him and when your moans get longer and higher against the pillow you bury yourself into.

“gonna cum already?” he's giggling, the trembles of your ankles and the way your fist tightens not going unnoticed by him. “fuck me back, then. show me how bad you wanna cum on me.” he stops all motion before yawning out loud, a lazy hand reaching his face to cover his mouth. how sexy.

pressing your lips together, you brace your hands out in front of you and swing your ass back on suguru. you were on thin ice right now, and with his snarky attitude, he literally might just leave you high and dry.

your knees are unsteady and shaky but you persevere, looking over your shoulder to see jet black strands hang over his face and shoulders, and amber eyes steeled on where you two connect. his lips are parted slightly as he huffs out a gravelly groan.

“yeah, jus’ like that. fuck me.” suguru praises, words sliding over each other slightly. he picks up the pace again, balls tightening as his head hangs low. he listens to your drawn out moans, sounding more like broken sobs with each stroke he gives you and it makes him dizzy. “‘m gonna cum, i'm gonna cum.” he's whining now.

“inside, sugu’—don't stop!” you beg as you spasm around him, milking your boyfriend.

suguru huffs out a laugh, a lazy grin stretches on his lips. he loves seeing you needy and mind-fucked like this—it scratches an itch deep in his soul. “alright. stay still f'me sweetheart—gonna give it to ya how you like.”

a shattered whimper rips from your throat as he pushes his hips all the way forward, and rams himself all the way in so his cock bullies that spot, the one that makes your cunt gush.

“o-ohh, my god! right there..’s right there, ‘m gonna cuumm..” you wail but he shushes you, the volume of your moans making him wince.

“make a mess pretty girl,” he grunts before his jaw goes slack and ropes of his sticky load flood your cunt. “fuuuckk..” but he doesn't stop—he powers through his orgasm and into overstimulation. suguru smiles when your eyes roll back and your limbs go limp, wailling into the satin pillowcase as you cum and cream onto him.

you think you black out for a second with your ears ringing and heart hammering in your chest. knees falling flat, your entire body slumps forward into the mattress as the aftershocks of your orgasm shoot through you like lightning. you could practically feel the beads of sweat sliding down your body underneath your hoodie.

when a warm and wet rag slides against your slit and inner thighs, you glance behind you and see an entirely spent suguru. he's continuously yawning while he pulls your flimsy underwear back up, before tossing the damp towel into the dirty laundry basket.

“thank you sugu’,” a satisfied sigh escapes your lips as he tucks you into his embrace, yet all suguru can do is scoff. you couldn't help but giggle at his annoyance, smiling like a cat who got the cream.

literally.

“next time, I'll just ignore you and get my well deserved sleep,” he spits, resting his chin atop your head.

totally worth it.

© NEPTNSZN 2024 ★ please do NOT copy, repost or modify my pieces, apply credit when necessary.

[satinslut]

smoking w/ jjk guysss

Please this idea has been running through my mind and is literally so fucking self-indulgent but this shit is canon in my mind. idc what you say, I’d do some stupid ass shit to smoke with these dummies. 

a lil nsfw so imma just say NO MINORS plssss

including: Choso, Gojo, Nanami, and Suguru

Choso

Choso is deffffffffffff a heavy smoker idc what you say, tell it to ya mama

Do you see how low his eyes stay???????

Has been smoking for a minute now and usually smokes daily

Keeps a dab pen on him at all times and defff has the full gram and not the half

Def would be a feen and use the lighter and/or sock method to get the last lil bit out 

Mans definitely wakes and bakes, pre-rolls a blunt at night so he can wake up happy

Definitely says some dumb shit like “Thank you for the meal” before lighting up 

The type to be like, “I’m going out to get groceries? Let’s load a bowl real quick.” 

That or he’s smoking while walking to the store

Prefers smoking, specifically bongs, rather than anything else

Tried wax one time and swears he could understand Gojo’s infinity 

Dropped his tray once while he was rolling and just wept in his seat, he didn’t cry he WEPT

You got to witness this atrocity and just pat his shoulder trying to console him

“I’m literally so sorry for your loss.”

Dude was fr tryna get the grinds out the carpet PLEASSSEE

Choso usually likes to smoke by himself, doesn’t really like having other people around when he smokes

Not on any selfish shit, but because mans just doesn’t want to be bothered and is comforted by his own company 

That and he doesn’t like his brothers seeing him smoke

Likes to smoke with you though,

“You make me feel calm. It’s fun with you.” Said by Choso himself after you asked him why there was never anyone else around

Feel like Choso is an acts of service typa love language guy

Expect to NEVER have to roll your own blunts, load your own pipes or bongs, even grind up your own shit bc this man has it COVERED

Can and will stop you if he sees you tryna do anything besides sit there and look pretty

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it, loves when you roll his blunts for him,,thinks you look pretty, but he wants to do it for you 

Likes to spoil you ofc so expect to have him buying all your snacks too after the both of y’all got the munchies

Feel like he’s a Green Tea Arizona, hot cheetos, and gummy worm typa guy when it comes to the lil pit-stops

That or some sorta hard candy cause he has an oral fixation and likes to keep his mouth busy so he won’t start chewing at his lips

Loves, loves, LOVES being outside when he’s high

Used to get really anxious cause he thought people could tell he was fucked up, but got over it after you told him that you couldn’t tell because he always seemed as such

He is but that’s besides the point 

That means expect picnic dates in the park on the sunniest and warmest of days

Choso packed the lunch ofc and when he pulled out three of the most beautifully rolled and pearled joints and presented them to you with the most goofiest grin plastered on his face, you only fell deeper in love with him on the spot

Just because he holds an affinity for being outside while high doesn’t mean he dislikes being inside

Choso has the most immaculate music taste, Gege told me so

Source? Trust me bro

But no seriously this man has such a diverse taste in music and the first time he put on the playlist you swear you were in a trance on the first song

Cue him saying some shit like, “Do you wanna listen to music and smoke?”

Y’all fr just got back from smoking at the park, pls choso

Ofc listening to music and smoking turns into Choso straddling you on his lap shotgunning smoke into your mouth, one hand on your ass the other holding the burning blunt,,,,but that’s a story for another time bc lemme fr not get into this right now lmaoooooo

Not necessarily clingy when he’s high but really just wants to be in your presence ??? like don’t leave him pls

Let him rest his head between your thighs and play with his hair or else he’ll start pouting

Baby just wants your undivided attention is all :((((

Gojo 

Now Gojo on the other hand is a social smoker, can handle himself just fine…kinda ??

Like he just gets really fucking quiet when he’s high I feel, not eerie or sad or anything like that, but just…his brain is finally calm!!!

Prefers drinking over smoking anyday, but that don’t mean he’s gonna refuse the blunt when it’s coming his way !!

Especially not if Shoko rolled it, god-tier is this woman, skilled with her fingers (lmao) 

Used to roll her own cigarettes when she first started smoking and that just transferred over into the blunts

But Gojo just gets super quiet and calm when he’s fucked up, he can just relax yk???

Can’t tell if he’s sleep or not bc of his dumbass mask and glasses, so when he yells at you for tryna skip him don’t get upset lmao

Cue Nanami saying some shit like “While I appreciate you being quiet for once, how can we tell if you’re fucking sleep or not?” 

If he’s not quiet then he’s whining in your ear about how hungry he is

His sweet tooth just gets 10x worse when he’s gone and is INSUFFERABLE about it

Has gotten to the point where you’ve just started keeping sweets in your bag for him/have a whole ass cabinet dedicated to snacks for Gojo

Said prior but he’s only a social smoker,,but will ONLY smoke with people he’s comfortable with/know

Only bc the very first time he got high his Six Eyes was freaking him tf out 

“I think I just saw a life in this Infinity where I didn’t have this power” -Gojo after three hits 

He’s so ??not annoying?? When he’s high and you honestly think it’s the weirdest thing cause he’s always so !!!!!! yk??

Definitely clingy so expect to be holding his hand or having him follow you all the way to the bathroom, there’s literally no in between

Likes to stay in when he’s high, going out messes with his head a lil too much and makes him a lil anxious

Definitely schedules when he’s gonna smoke if it’s just you two so expect to have it turn into a lil stay-in date night

Can and will leave his smoking stuff at your place so he has an excuse to come over, or will feign that he’s out so he can come see you

Fr would hit you with some sorta ‘roll me a blunt. i’m otw.’ typa text message

Hates rolling, packing, grinding doing quite literally ANYTHING with his weed, and you’ve only spoiled him with how you do any and all of it 

Loves, loves, lovessss watching you roll for him

Sits next to you and gives you lil kisses of appreciation or hands you things you need

 Will fr interrupt anything you’re doing and just sets the stuff down saying sum bs like ‘but you’re the best at it’

Doesn’t fuck with edibles at ALLLLLL stays the literal fuck away from them cause his anxiety spikes so high and he gets hella paranoid

Prefers smoking cause he can at least somewhat measure out how much he’s intaking

Cause if he eats an edible he WILL eat the whole thing and then another cause ‘this shit isn’t even hitting’

Nanaminnnnn

See, in my head Nanamin gets even more brash when under the influence

Still stoic and coldish demeanor, but definitely not presenting himself as such,,more sarcastic than anything 

Like he already doesn't care what he says, but it’s always so ???formal??? whereas when he’s high it’s not so much

Hence the curse words

Mans would say some of the most offhand, outta pocket shit with the straightest face and then ask why the whole groups laughing at him BAHHAHA

Half of me wants to say he’s a social smoker like Gojo, but the other half of me is like,, mans is overworked and burnt out asf he smokes NIGHTLY 

But no seriously the first time Nanami got high with you was so funny cause him being…him and a literal fucking square had everyone thinking he wouldn’t EVER touch any drugs unless a doctor prescribed them yk??

Nahhh mans had everyone in literal awe over how he came to the sesh fully prepared 

That and surprised he showed up at all 

Had the premium rolling papers, designer fucking tray, and the biggest bag of weed that any of y’all had saw

“I forgot my automatic grinder, did anyone bring one cause I honestly don’t feel like pulling this shit apart.” 

The shit Nanami smokes is honestly some of the best shit you’d ever smoked tbh

Like it’s the highest quality you can get, mans hand picked the nuggets he wanted like it was that typa good quality shit 

It’s such an intensely complex yet satisfying high and the group be tryna mooch off of this man so much but he only ever let’s you get what you want

Smokes you out in his benz daily

Like he’ll literally come pick you up after he gets offa work to like?? Go get some food or something and he’ll be like:

“Pick a spot to eat and we’ll smoke in the parking lot before going in.” 

He’s much more touchy, not like Gojo, but will definitely be keeping a hand on your thigh, lower back

Also think he’s a really light sleeper/it’s hard for him to go to bed so he eats an edible before bed, or will wake up in the middle of the night to smoke

Doesn’t smoke in the house, he’s too bougie for that, but redid his whole balcony so he could smoke out there no matter the weather

Such a smart man

Likes sitting out there with you, especially during the summer nights a blunt passed between the both of you

Like to think he likes smoking more than edibles because of the relaxation of the pull when inhaling, but honestly he holds both to equal standards 

Makes his own infused oil and since he cooks nightly (almost) he’ll sometimes put it in the food 

Suguruuuuuuu

He’s an irregular smoker

A couple times through the week to help with his anxiety and insomnia

That or he just really loves the head high of it all, helps his brain go mute and that’s just amazing

Only takes a couple hits before he’s like ‘i’m good’

Low tolerance ass

But no seriously he just knows his limits and will NOT go past them 

A rule he made for himself after he had hella paranoia after smoking with Gojo

Then again, Gojo was saying some off the wall shit and had dude scared as fuck

On top of that, mans refuses to smoke alone, it’s a no go for him everytime 

Feels weird when he smokes alone, gets too in his head 

Likes to talk about the most randomest of things, definitely sum philosophical and controversial

Type to smoke and then either binge watch a show with half lidded eyes, or knock tf out 

Just know he’s not gonna be moving an INCH

Clingy as well, but like you’re getting suffocated typa clingy 

Expect to be literally engulfed by this man 

Like full body weight on you

Will not let you get up and if you do he’s literally following you with his back pressed against you, dead serious 

Like you were getting up to cook once after yall had smoked and from bedroom to kitchen was Suguru literally attached to your back

Keeps his arms hooked around your waist or hips and face in your neck 

Skin to skin contact is a must so expect his hands to be under your clothes and not even in a sexual way, he just fr finds it comforting 

Favorite is to circle your hips with his hands

Has the patience to grow his own stuff, esp since he barely smokes like that 

Ain’t boutta spend all of that money at the dispo tf and just likes knowing that it’s his

Has names for all of his plants idc

Think he’d like tinctures too tbh

Adds in his morning/nighttime tea sometimes

[nctstar]

Can I get a smut of Johnny suh using his size and strength kink on a petite female Y/N? Thank you~

heyy! i'm so sorry this is absurdly late :(( but hope you still like it! <3

small

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

pairing: johnny suh x fem!reader

other members: none

word count: 2.4k

genre: romance, smut

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! as per the request the reader is smaller than Johnny but I refrained from describing body parts or her specific size or anything like that, she is just short. if you're sensitive to this kind of talk though maybe don't read <3 mild profanity, lots of kissing, johnny carries reader, manhandling, descriptions of johnny's torso and body throughout, dirty talk about the size of his ding dong schlong, mild degradation (use of slut), ripping clothes bc those muscles do more than lift weights <3, clitoral stimulation/fingering, reader is pretty slutty and dumb during sex (aren't we all), missionary sex, praising (sweet girl, good girl), condom use, talking after sex (post nut clarity fr)

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: i have been in such a writer's slump particularly with smut! like i think i need some time off to write some good fics and some good smut, so i'm sorry anon and to all my lovely readers if this is shit :(

“Now why would he ever say that?” You peeked at your friend pacing around your small room through your hair. Scissors in one hand, your (new) bangs in the other, you winced. “Wait, girl, I made a mistake I think.”

She sighed as you let the strands flutter across your forehead, uneasiness settling in your stomach. “Didn’t you follow what he said?” Brad Mondo’s curtain bangs tutorial continued in the background as you turned your head expectantly from side to side. Your friend held your head in place with open palms, looking at you through the mirror. “It’s actually kinda cute. Makes you look…well…”

“Don’t say small.” She snorted, bringing a hand to her face to unsuccessfully cover her mouth. “I don’t care, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

You pushed yourself off the stool, rolling your eyes as you started undressing. “He didn’t mean it like that.” Your belt clinked as your jeans fell to the carpet, and you started bringing your shirt over your heard. “I’m sure it was his way of complimenting me.” Despite all your efforts, you couldn’t stop the annoyance that cemented your words into place. “I guess.”

“Girl, you need to tell him that it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Yeah, and it’s not weird to call some girl you’ve been on two dates with small.”

The doorbell cut through the air, making you both jump. “Shit. It’s like he heard or something.”

“Shit. Wait, just let him in and get him to wait downstairs. Okay?” Sudden panic was settling into your body, making your hands shake. Your friend got the message and hurried downstairs, zipping her skirt up in record time while hobbling downstairs. “Hope I don’t smell like chicken. I hate having shifts on Fridays.”

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you pulled the skirt over the curves of your thighs and butt, watching the way it held onto your body. Stuffing the ends of the top into the skirt, you walked over to pick out a pair of shoes.

“I’m heading out! Johnny’s waiting down here!” Your friend’s voice made your body do the kind of useless flurry that it does whenever you know you’re running out of time, and you drag out the highest heels you own. Small, my ass.

“Hey!” As usual, he softened his frame when he saw you, placing his hands in his pockets and smiling so big so you would forget to feel intimidated by his 6-foot stature, or rock-hard physique. His eyes were like small moons, bursting on his face whenever he smiled. “Hey, nice bangs.” You instinctively went to fiddle with them, silently cursing yourself for messing them up. “Thanks.” Your smile was a little forced, but you were giddy to see him, your body rocking back and forth without your permission, ankles rubbing against each other.

∞

“The pasta was so good,” you couldn’t stop raving, your hips knocking into Johnny as he walked you home, arms linked. “Like seriously, Johnny. So good.”

He laughed, the sound leaving him effortlessly. “I’m so glad you liked it. I remember the pasta here being amazing, but I was worried you would think I’m cheap or not taking you seriously. The place being run down and all.” You shook your head, your bangs shuffling from side to side as you did. “No, of course not. I would rather eat something good on the street than a tiny portion of something small and pretentious at an upscale place.”

He hummed, moonlight hitting his body, softening some angles and sharpening others, hair glowing golden brown as he walked. Your heels clacked against the linoleum of your front porch as you wondered whether your friend was home, but before you could reach for the front door, your knees buckled. You let out a small gasp as you felt Johnny’s arms around your body, pinching into your skin almost uncomfortably. “Oh shit! I’m okay, babe.” You both froze at the sudden nickname, his arms loosening around you as you straightened up. You shakily continued. “U-uhm, sorry, I mean-“

“I think your shoes broke.”                                                                   

Yeah, no shit, you wanted to bite back. But you held your tongue, frustration seeping through your pores as you held onto the rail, Johnny hovering protectively over you as you took the right heel off, now newly broken in two pieces. “Oh my god. These were so expensive! Ugh!”

“It’s okay. Maybe I can buy you another pair. Babe.” He said the last word almost sarcastically, and you glared at him. “Johnny.”

“I’m serious. I’m sorry those broke so easily. I’ll bring a new pair next time?”

“Johnny, wait.”

“You like me, right?” His face crumpled just a tiny bit. Not exaggerated like in the movies or anything, so subtle you would never notice from afar, or if you weren’t close. You warmed at the thought of knowing him so closely, so well, enough to know that something was not right in the lines of his eyebrows.

You gulped, not knowing how to respond.

“I feel like you kinda hate me.” He crinkled his nose when he said hate, almost sarcastically, but his tone jabbed you straight in the chest. You shook your head. No, of course not, you wanted to say. I like you. I like you so much. But I am small to you. I wonder if you think of me as small. Do YOU like me?

“I just, I don’t like being small.” He frowned, and so did you, the words sounding stupid as soon as they filled the small space between your bodies. “I mean, you called me small the other day. And I know you probably, well, definitely, meant it as a cute thing. Like physically. Like a term of endearment, you know? But, I don’t wanna be seen as small, like more than physically. You know what I mean?” You cringed internally at your words, watching him stare blankly back at you.

“Right.”

“I’m so sorry. I sound like such a jerk. I don’t mean to be hung up over one little word you said.” You bit your lip, tasting the remnants of your lipstick on your tongue. “It’s just what made me feel a little weird. But, I do like you, Johnny.” Your heart raced as you looked up at him. Your body moved without permission for the umpteenth time, and your arms melted around his hips, fingers splaying across the small of his back. Your mind screamed at you, but your body ignored it, burning up from within.

Tentatively, he brought one hand to your chin, skin warm but rough on yours. “I don’t think low of you. I never have. I just think you’re so fucking gorgeous. So perfect the way you are.” The butterflies in your stomach were now dancing, free, leaping over hills and grassy plains. “Sorry for the poor choice of words.”

You smiled, some of the tension leaving you as you let your bodies merge seamlessly, like lanes on an open road, like the sun as it meets the horizon. You kicked off your other shoe, standing on your tiptoes to meet his lips with yours. He tentatively glazed his hands over your sides, making you shiver and moan into his mouth. You brought your fingers to the nape of his neck, savouring the taste. “Mmm, Johnn-“

You yelped when he gripped your thigh, guiding it to press against his hips. “Jump up for me, baby.” You giggled, nodding as you straddled him, his torso gently rebounding back with your weight. As you met his lips once more, dragging your forearms across the top of his shoulders, you heard your front door open and close, the door to the downstairs bedroom fling wide open. As your back hit the bed, your hair splayed out onto the fresh sheets, knees bent, lipstick smeared.

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

“Uh huh.” All the shame left your body as you drew circles on his body and face with your eyes, letting his thick frame tower over you. “Is this okay?” He breathed into your collarbone, and when you nodded fervently, you felt his lips suck and nip at your neck. Gasping, you gripped onto his neck, letting your ankles hook around the back of his jean-clad legs. “Y-yes. Yes please. Don’t tease, I want y-you so much.”

“Yeah?” He played with the buttons of your top, but you stopped him. “I can’t wait…just rip it off, please. I need you. Right now. Please, just use me. I know you can.” He drew an eyebrow upwards, and you almost felt a slight twinge of embarrassment until you heard the top rip, cold air exposing your lace bra, tits bulging as you arched your chest off the bed. “What a slut. Is this what you wanted all along?” He laughed as you wriggled under him, mouth latching onto the tops of your boobs. He released you only to throw your arms up, pinning your wrists down to the bed to watch your reaction. When you bit your lip in response, bringing your core closer to his, he laughed darkly. “Freak.”

“Yes, just for you, fuck, please.”

“Bet you’re just soaked under this tight little skirt. Want me to rip this off too?” You nodded before he could even finish his sentence, and the sound of your fabric ripping filled the air. “Mmm, just as I suspected.” As he dragged your panties down your thighs, you felt your wetness pool onto the sheets under you. “Please, please, hold me down and fuck me.” You whispered into his ear, letting your plump lips graze against his skin as you massaged the nape of his neck with your fingers. You whimpered when his jean-clad bulge bumped against your clit, the burn in your core growing with every passing second.

He kissed you deeply, pulling away at an agonising pace. “Tell me why, baby.” You whined, trying to gather some friction between your legs with no avail. His arms pinned yours to either side of your head, his legs like heavy weights against yours. “Please, I just, I want your cock i-inside me, w-want it to split me open…” He shook his head. “What makes you think I would do that to you? I’m too big for you, honey.”

You whined. “N-no, please. I don’t care, just, push it in me…” He laughed, kissing you. “Please, I want to feel so full…” He shushed you, sitting up to unbuckle his jeans. “Mmm, yes, yes please…” You were just babbling nonsense, the anticipation too intense to bear. His cock sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach, precum spilling out the edges of the tip. You heard him rip open a condom packet, dragging it on his length at lightning speed. He ran his cockhead through the folds of your pussy, making you whimper. “So wet.” He breathed, and you gasped as his tip entered you at an agonisingly slow place. “J-Johnny.” Your brain fought your body, wanting him to continue but feeling apprehensive at the impending stretch. “You’re so big. Fuck.” You snuck a hand down towards your clit, but Johnny grabbed your wrist, leaning over to kiss your chin. “Let me.” As he pressed one finger onto your core, you gasped, back arching, eyes squeezing shut. “O-oh, oh my…”

“You like that?” He started speeding up, your gasps and moans like drugs to his system. When he pulled away, he started pushing his length in, and you let out a deep breath, as if you had been holding it in the entire time. “Fuck.” You drawled, feeling him in every corner of your insides. “Fuck, Johnny. You’re, you’re so big, and s-strong.”

Johnny laughed, and you wondered for a second whether you had ruined the mood. “My cock making you lose your filter, babe?” You blushed, but the constant bump and stretch on your clit had your vision go foggy, your head spinning deliriously. You used your forearms to push away, breathing deeply as if his cock had suffocated you from the inside out. Johnny wrapped his arms around your hips, bringing you flush against his pelvis in one swift movement. “Uh uh, where do you think you’re going?” His snarkiness and the fulness in your lower stomach made your core squeeze excessively. “Ah, shit! Fuck, I think I’m gon-“ You felt it before you could finish your sentence, your climax stealing the words out of your mouth, making your heart thump incessantly against your ribcage.

Johnny cooed at your, his forearms now caging you by your head, peppering light kisses on your face. “You alright, sweet girl?” You nodded, gasping. “Please, please move.” He chuckled, groaning as he pulled back to thrust into you, making you throw your head back and scream. “Fuck, oh my god.” Your body shook with the force of his steady thrusts, his legs pinning your body down to the bed. “Good girl, that’s it.” He groaned, getting sloppier as he reached his climax. “You’re so good for me. So eager for me to pin you down and fuck you. Because I’m so big and strong, right?” You reached for Johnny’s neck, the embarrassment at your previous comments leaving you as you felt your core tighten, coil ready to snap. “Fuck, you just gripped me so tight, fuck. Nasty girl.” You moaned as you came, feeling him release inside the condom with a throaty moan.

Both of you heaving, gasping for air, you pulled Johnny close to your body, kissing his collarbone, his neck, his face. “I do like you, a lot.” Your breath tickled his skin as you spoke, and he stroked your hair gently with one hand, using the other to pull away from you to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry for calling you small. I admit, it’s a little weird.”

“Apology accepted. I think we’ve both called each other things we’re never gonna say again.”

“No, hon, you should always call me big and strong Johnny-“

“Johnny, please. Never mention that again. It was a moment of weakness!” You whined, shielding your face as he laughed, slipping off you to lie next to you on the bed. “Kinda sexy though.” You slapped his arm playfully, laughing as slipped down his forearm to take his hand in yours.

“I’ll think of something better for next time, promise.”

[moneymartin]

🦌- impatient

summary: lottie comes home from work and sees you playing games 👾

warnings: this is smut so mdni :p oral and fingering (r!receiving), praising, extremely touchy lott, and lil bit of french from lawtie. she’s a little meanie when it comes to u but still super soft. also title probably doesnt make sense dont laugh. ok thats it

i wrote this in like 2 hours so if it sucks dont hate thankz 😢😢

1.4k words

both characters are aged up.

saturdays were never the greatest days; lottie was out doing her dumb side job for extra cash, despite the fact she was probably set for life. she had been providing for the both of you, and it was only cause she never wanted her parents to do everything for her in the first place.

the only thing you could really do at the house was play games on that xbox she surprised you with on your birthday. it was the first console you’ve ever owned and you were more than grateful, playing on it all the time and letting her join whenever she wanted to. although she was never that supportive after you continued to play almost every hour of every day. but even if she sucked, you were willing to teach her.

while she worked her ass off at work you decided to play games without her. you opened up fortnite, hopping on with a few friends from uni and getting lost in time. it was your favorite game after all. hours and hours passed by quickly when the chime of your guys’ door started ringing. lottie stepped inside, a soft sigh escaping her lips, and that big familiar smile on her face when she saw you on the xbox.

“hi, baby..” she mumbles lowly and kicks off her shoes, waving a hand in your face. it distracts you for a moment and you take off one of the headphone muffs.

“y- yeah, hold on.” you grumble and try to look to the right side of her body to see the tv screen. “please move…” you whine. your friends start snickering into the mic when they hear you struggling to play the damn game. lottie knows how they are when it comes to you two and it’s the worst thing ever.

she stands in front you again, continuing to cover the screen and trying to mess you up. “do you not know how to look at your girlfriend or something?” she huffs out and grabs your shoulders, a grunt leaving your lips when you end up getting knocked. “all you do is play that damn game.” she sighs.

your eyes dart up to hers and your lips pout when the laugh of your friends fill up your ears and her words still sit in your head. she’s right though. you don’t do anything but play on the damn xbox… “i know, but you got me the thing anyways,” you say and tilt your head to the side. “and all of my friends are laughing at me!!! quit it!”

lottie’s eyebrows raise, but you quickly stand up so you can see the tv after your friend revives you. and so you can avoid that gaze she gives you when you give that little bit of attitude. “sit back down.” she orders, pushing you onto the couch again and sitting herself down on your lap. she stays there and doesn’t bother moving unless you do just to see the screen. all you can really hear though are the screams of your friends telling you to start shooting back, but it got real hard when she pushes her lips up against yours.

she’s kissing you with fervor as if she hasn’t seen your face in years. you can’t do anything but kiss back and it’s a shame that you’re incredibly obsessed with the taste of her strawberry lipgloss. all it does for you is fuel the need you feel when you kiss her. “lott, please. not right now..” you breathe out heavily when you pull away. “shit, i’m so sorry guys.” you tell your friends after you end up dying fully.

“don’t talk to them, talk to me.” she whines in response to you speaking to your friends instead of her. she grips at your controller and sets it on the armrest of the couch, clicking the mute button on your headset. she shifts a little against you and her hands find their way to your core, a grunt escaping your lips. “wow, you are so incredibly pathetic…” she says at your attempts to squirm and grab your controller. she palms you through your shorts, her movements coaxing you to move your hips up against her.

“fuck.. please,” you murmur, wetness pooling up in between your legs just because of her gentle touch and mean words. her other hand quickly tugs on the strings of your shorts and she yanks them down, the incredibly prominent wet spot on your panties right in front of her. your face flushed out of embarrassment from how wet you got so quickly and she can’t help but snicker. “all of this for me?” she hums.

the pressure of her fingers against your clit sends a chill down your spine and your teeth grit together. lottie sinks down onto her knees and you nod frantically, moaning when her lips make contact with your skin. her hands inch around your body and her fingers pull down the sides of your panties. she doesn’t give you a warning before she sticks two of her long fingers into you and they curl in just the right way. “my god. you look so pretty like that, angel..” she says, your eyes closing at the overwhelming feeling of her fingers inside of you.

“lott, please… please, please, please.” you whimper pathetically. her lips are kissing and marking around your inner thighs while her fingers continuously pound into the perfect spot, hips absentmindedly thrusting into them. she pulls her fingers out, shoving them into your mouth to let you get a quick taste of yourself and making your walls clench around absolutely nothing. “you’re such a little slut aren’t you? you can’t help but get wet around me.” she mumbles.

lottie’s lips attach to your throbbing clit and her fingers make their way into you again, your eyes widening at the sensation. it hurts so bad, yet feels so good. you squirm and move around constantly, lottie gripping onto your thigh with the other hand. “sit still or i’m gonna have to let all of your little friends hear you acting like a fucking whore.” she grunts into your centre and curls her fingers a little harder than before. the touch causes you to wince in pain a bit. “i’m sorry, i- i didn’t mean to ignore you!” you groan.

when you grip at her hair she slaps your hand away. “ne fais pas ça putain…” she growls. she’s getting aggressive but when she sees tears in your eyes she gets a little bit softer. her tongue is wrapping itself around your clit, sucking and biting on it gently while she laps up all of the wetness dripping down your legs. you haven’t finished yet but she’s eating you out like a starving animal. her face is practically buried into your pussy and the tip of her nose is grazing against the top of your core. her fingers curl inside of your pussy again and she knows that she’s hitting the spot.

“charlotte, my stomach.” you whisper out when the knot that formed in there gets a little bit tighter. she takes it as a sign that you’re close and moves herself a little bit slower to help you out. “juste comme ça… i got you, okay, baby?” she tells you as she looks up at you. the look on your face is what fuels her even more. your lips are parted out slightly and your face is furrowed while your hips just barely hump into her fingers again. a raspy moan escapes your throat when the knot in your tummy becomes undone and she shushes you, helping you ride out your high carefully with her fingers.

lottie’s eyes immediately lock onto the cum dripping down your legs and your drenched core. her first instinct is to clean. you up with her mouth. so she does, and she laps up every single drop that came out of you, rising up again. her fingers cup your chin and she wrenches your mouth open, sticking her tongue inside. all you can taste is yourself and you whimper in her mouth.

lottie pulls your panties and shorts up again, sitting next to you on the couch. her hands wrap around your waist and she gently pushes the back of your head into her chest, a small sigh escaping your lips as your heart pounds from the after feeling of it all. she kisses the top of your head and holds you there for a moment. “je t'aime, baby. je t’aime tellement.” she whispers softly and rubs at your back. you two sit there for a while in silence until she breaks it.

“sooo.. do you wanna play overcooked?”

[ahhnini]

pls do a part 2 to real man

yes ofc! thank you for reading!

the way things go - rafe cameron x reader

— he wants you back

warnings - angst, regretful rafe, arguing, happy ending, not proofread!

real man

if you want to read about how reader got her locket check out no one knows!

“y/n, please!” he pleads, eyes red, pupils dilated. he’s high again. “rafe, stop! i’m trying to work! leave me alone or i’ll call security,” you snag your arm away from his grasp, wiping down a table. he scoffs, following you, “rafe, I swear to god—” “how many times do I have to say it?! I’m sorry, okay! please, just—let’s give this—us—another chance, yeah?” “no! how many times do I have to tell you, no!” you argue back, and rafe genuinely looks like he was about to cry. hearing him sniffle, he turns away, not giving you one last glance.

rafe stops coming into the club for a while after that, most likely opting to hang at barry’s instead. you got promoted, no longer working as a beverage cart girl, but as a hostess to the bar. better pay, and you get to stay air conditioned all throughout your shift.

the bike home was the same, passing by figure eight; all the manors and paved roads, a stark contrast to your neighborhood — broken houses and dirt paths. you see a familiar black range rover parked on the side of your house, and you can’t help but scoff.

barging into your room, you find rafe, fidgeting with some of your plushies on your bed. “rafe, what the hell! I told you to stop bothering me—” he stands up from your bed, cornering you to a wall, “i’ve missed you, so much. what I did—hiding our relationship—it was dumb. I just—didn’t want anyone to know I’d been dating a pogue—” you burst out laughing at his words, “rafe, are you kidding me? ‘didn’t want anyone to know i’d been dating a pogue’ then why’d you start dating one anyways?” you chuckle at him. he looks to the side, “b-because, when I laid eyes on you for the first time, I wanted to have you. all to myself. and,” he drags his hands down his face, “I couldn’t let anyone else have you,” you see tears form in his eyes and you sigh. he continues on, “please, i’d do anything to get you back. you were the greatest thing i’ve ever lost, I literally cannot function without you,” you wiggle out of his grasp, shuffling awkwardly to the bed, sitting down. he sits down with you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. you speak up, voice soft and meek, “I hate seeing you like this rafe,” he nods his head, eyes scanning your face intently.

“so…I think…I’ll give you another chance, but we have to be public now, no more hiding,” you look into his eyes. what turned into sadness quickly transformed into a look of surprise, and a smile formed on his gloomy face.

“of course, you have my word. thank you, thank you!” he chuckles, moving his hand down to your waist, pulling you in for a kiss.

taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Second Best 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Lee Bodecker

Summary: The newly-single sheriff sets his eye on an unexpected match.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The sheriff drives down the dusty backroad behind the Percy farm. You lean against the door, trying to keep as much space between you and him as you can. You're only thankful he hadn't made you ride in the back like a real criminal.

You know he's up to something. He's trying to teach you a lesson, but why? He could go bother Greta or any of the other girls down at The Horn. You give yourself a look in the side mirror and huff through your nose.

"Whatcha bein' so puffy about?" He reaches over and slaps your thigh, kneading it roughly.

You pull your leg away from him, crossing it over the other as you clutch the seatbelt, "is that illegal too?"

He chuckles and lets off the gas, slowly rolling through the gravel.

"You're sure mouthy, huh?"

"It's just a question--"

"You actin' so innocent but you can't control that tongue of yours," he tuts.

You sniff, "aren't we going to the station?"

"You're many things, darlin', but you're not dumb, are ya?" He asks as he brushes his fingertips down your arm. "I don't mind dropping charges... you just gotta loosen up."

You stiffen and clamp your lips tight. You knew he was a creep but does he have to be so obtuse? There's lots of girls dying to ride with the sheriff. You're just not one of them.

"Why don't you call Greta--"

"This ain't about her," he grabs your arm, trying to pull you towards him as the wheel veers.

"Sheriff," you cry out and he slams on the brakes.

"See the trouble you're causin'," he chides, "you're gonna get us both hurt."

"I'm not doing anything. I didn't do anything," you bluster, heat radiating across your cheeks, "please, just... why are you doing this?"

"I don't know why you're actin' coy," he sneers as he shifts into park and unclicks his seat belt, "I just want a taste. I saw the way you were eyein' me up. You don't gotta worry about that ditz, Greta, it's me and you, girl."

"Ew, stop--" You bat at his hand as he grips your arm tighter.

"Ew?!" He echoes, "now, you ain't gotta be nasty."

"I'm not... I just... don't know why you're doing this," you try to wriggle free, "sheriff, I really am not into you--"

"Ah, you don't know what you missin' out on, is the problem. She told me you never been with a man,"

"I did it, okay? I stole the gummy bears. Just take me to the station," you plead as he yanks on your arm, "I'll confess--"

"I don't care about the damn candy bears," he snarls and pushes you back against the seat, "just a little fun, huh?"

Before you can react, he bends over and dives head-first into your lap. You cry out as you grab at his head, trying to push him off as your other hand claws at the door. You catch the handle and the door swings out but you're trapped by the seat belt.

"Christ!" You holler as you bring your elbow down on the back of his head.

He grunts and you feel around, jamming your thumb down on the button, releasing the belt.You fall sideways out of the car and throw your hands up to catch yourself. You drag yourself onto the ground, kicking behind you in a panic as you feel Bodecker reaching for you. You don't have time to think about the siren wailing in your head; what the hell is wrong with him?

You roll onto your stomach and get your knees under you. You scrabble across the dirt as you fight to get your feet set. Before you can stand, you're bowled over. You cry out as the heavy metal cracks off the back of your head.

You fall into the ditch next to the road, tumbling down as the flashlight bounces beside you. You look up as the panting sheriff stands above you at the crest of the earth. You reach to hold your skull as he puffs out his stomach.

"That's assault on an officer, girly," he growls, "lot worse than a slap on the wrist for that."

He steps forward and stops as gravel crunches. You blink dizzily and babble. Tires cruise forward and stop on the other side of the road. You can't see anything as you struggle to push yourself up.

"Everything okay, Sheriff?" A voice calls out.

"All good," Bodecker turns, resting his hand on his gun. You freeze. "Just stretching my legs."

"Alright, well then, have a good one," the man calls out. You think it might be Cole from down the way but you can't know for sure.

The sheriff waits until the driver leaves before he turns back. You gulp and jump up, spinning to climb out the other side of the ditch. He hops across as you haul yourself up. He kicks you back down and you yelp as his foot knocks the air out of you.

"Now, we ain't gonna be doin' all that," he tramps down the incline and grabs you by the hair. "I see how you like it. Rough."

You groan and grab his wrist, whining as he tears on your roots, "please--"

"Oh, don't you worry, you'll be begging real good," he turns you over to your stomach and straddles you, dropping your head as you writhe. He bends your arms back and cuffs them tight, the metal pinching your skin. "Ya know, you can just ask ya friend, I can be nice..." he grits, "just too bad you can't.”

[childofsardior]

What are each koopalings fears and how do they react to them

I admit in advance that I was not too sure about this one ^v^' but I thought about this for a while and now I'll try to answer!

I will talk about the *main* or most *iconic* fears that came to my mind!

Ludwig: Talking about irrational fears, Ludwig is scared as heck from Pipe Organs. Not only of their sound, but also being close to one or even see one in the distance. This fear was actually developed by Lud after "The Incident", when, at the age of 15, a huge Pipe Organ actually collapsed on him while fighting the Mario Brothers (yes, an HC version of Pipe Down exist in my AU if you're wondering :P). He didn't touch that instrument even since and will refuse to come too close to one of his own will. He is also secretely afraid of failure related to missions or competitions he really cares about. Being so full of himself and all, he'll always picture himself as the obvious winner of a fight or a race or a contests even before the start, but in the end he will usually accept his defeat if his opponets were *actually* better than him - somethimes even compliment them. But...! If Ludwig was actually following some important orders from Bowser and ended up messing things up, if he could not prove himself as a perfect big brother to his siblings in tricky situations, or even if he could not "reach the podium" in some sort of musical competition he worked so hard for with his orchestra and all... well, in these cases failure will actually matter a lot, even affecting his self-esteem for a while.

Lemmy: This one is easy: Lemmy is afraid of growing up, responsabilities and adulthood in general. He's technically the second oldest, but having Ludwig as the "responsable one" as a big bro allowed Lemmy to spend time with his younger siblings playing and chilling without caring much about "responsabilities". But as he's growing up, his childish vibes started to feel more like a confort-zone for him, while the idea of being forced in a cold future made of burocracy, hard decisions and real responsabilty for his action really do bothers him - he's afraid he won't be able to play around and be silly and do wathever he feels like anymore, basically seeing adulthood as a sort of horrible prison made of boredoom and bags under the eyes.

Roy: Roy looks like he's not afraid of anything - well, he actually is afraid of Wendy when she's angry, but everyone in the family is, so this doesn't count. In reality, Roy has some secret fears nowdays, the biggest one being his fear of loosing his tough and cool mask in front of the others. He literally won't take off his sunglasses because he's ashamed of his heterocromia. He won't let his hair grow again after he found this style because he's afraid he won't look cool enough. Most of all, he will play the "rough guy card" claming that books are dumb and everything refined is for loosers, while he secretely enjoys reading and he can actually knows how to do things such as playing the violin (yes, you read it right). He won't admit in front of his family that he loves bunnies and would want one as a pet. He will mock Wendy's exagerate style while secretly wanting to polish his own claws pink or purple, and so on. He only talks about this with some friend out of the castle, but only in rare occasions and in a "but-I-am-joking-bro!" way.

Iggy: His siblings joke about he must be afraid of herbicide and rabbits, since he looks like a carrot. But in reality, Iggy seem to have no actual fears at all. He will laugh in front of his enemies and find deadly monsters cool as heck, and will probably try to study them at best or adopt them at worse. He can be sometimes annoyed or bothered by things in a "please-stop-doing-that-like-right-now" way, and he is a bit germophobic too, but rarely he'll be truly afraid of things or situations... except made for the times he looses his glasses. If this happens, Iggy will totally panic - he can barely see anything without them, and will lose all his composure if they break. When he was a kid, he often cried aloud or even weeped dramatically while trembling in a corner if he lost his eyeglasses, while now he'll just panic a lot while blindly searching for them in a very nervous way, usually asking Lemmy or Morton for help if near.

Wendy: Only a few things can actually scare the only girl of the group. One thing she's afraid of is her make-up or outfit being ruined during important events - especially if she spent hours choosing her clothing, trying different make-ups and so on. But if someone actually *does* ruin her appearance - usually Roy or Larry - then they are gonna be the ones scared for real as soon as Wendy stops being ashamed for the incident and start getting angry, REAL ANGRY instead. She's a a bit claustrophobic too, and she could get nervous if she suddenly finds herself in a dark and small space. The only exception for this is made for her seashell custom bed that she owns at one of her seaside residences - she feels safe enough inside it, even is she prefers to keep the upper part open a bit while sleeping.

Morton: Morton's biggest fear is hurting his siblings without noticing, or being unable to protect them, especially Junior. Morton wasn't too aware of his own strenght when he was younger, but after the incident of the Malatone Formula:X, when he found himself fighting his own siblings under the BFF' brainwash, he now is quite scared by the possibility of hurting them. Talking about more irrational fears, he is scared of bugs, especially if very colorful or noisy - he likes to observe the ones in Iggy's terrariums, but he could panic if he sees a butterfly or a wasp flying towards him during a trip, or a grasshopper jumping around randomly while he's walking on a field.

Larry: Larry's biggest fears revolve around Bowser's anger - especially, he hates being scolded in a "no please not again!" way and one time he even tried to run away from the Dark Lands to avoid his adoptive's father rage - and the deep fear that he will never reach his big siblings'. He's always trying his best to be noticed or complimented by them or Bowser, but nobody seem to ever notice all the effort he put on things. So Larry's starting to think that he will be always the "mediocre" one, that he'll never be as skilled as Ludwig, as cool as Roy, as carefree as Lemmy, so clever as Iggy, and so on.

Bowser Jr.: Junior is a bold and brave kid... apparently. He likes to think he has no fear exactly like his dad, and that nobody and nothing can stop him. But in reality, Junior is quite scared of the idea of being alone. Especially after the attack of Fawful in the Mushroom Kingdom and Dark Lands, Junior started to learn the importance of team work and all. He is also used to constant company - from his half-siblings, from servants and minion, and most of all, from Kamek - and if left on his own for too much time he'll start to feel gloom at first, and desperatly scared after some while.

[a-fandom-reimagined]

ALL OF YOU | BRUCE WAYNE X PLUS SIZE GN! READER (FT. ALFRED)

୨୧ type: fluff & angst | word count: 887 | tw: sfw, mentions of bullying but no actual descriptions of what was said or done. please enjoy

→ please note that I don't think I've ever written anything for a gn reader before so if I messed anything up (like how i couldn't figure out what the gn alternative for master/miss is) I apologize

requested: omg okay, idk if you would want to write this but; since i can't find ANY battinson x plus size reader stuff, could i request a battinson x gn plus size reader where bruce discovers his partner being insecure about themselves and tries to cheer them up? this would be angst mixed with fluff if that's okay with you :>

Everything is fine, you told yourself.

The limo pulled away from the curb merging into early morning rush hour. The annual Wayne Foundation Ball had ran hours longer than you'd intended. And as host, you couldn’t leave early. No matter how much you'd wanted to. You relaxed into your lover's embrace, drinking in his cologne. Basking in his warmth. It was the most relaxed you'd felt all evening.

You were almost asleep when Bruce's voice dragged you back to reality. "What's wrong?"

You opened your eyes. "Nothing." You couldn't even manage a smile to better sell the lie.

Tonight was supposed to be your night. And they took it from you…

Bruce frowned. "Don't lie to me. We're better than that."

You were better than that. And now you had shame to add to the long list of emotions weighing you down.

They were just words. Everything is fine.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. You didn't want to talk about it. Not with him. But you couldn't lie to him either.

Your fiancé kissed the top of your head, hugging you tighter. "Talk to me. Did someone hurt you? Did something happen?"

"It doesn't matter. It's not important."

"It's bothering you so it does matter and it is important. You've been talking non-stop about this Gala. You've been planning it for months. What happened?"

You pulled back to wet eyes and a broken smile. Bruce's jaw ticked, his expression chillingly blank. Bruce usually kept this side of himself hidden away from you. Was this the version of him that went out to hunt bad guys every night? Or was this just a small sliver of him?

"Sir, not to interrupt but would you like me to turn the car around?"

You'd forgotten the partition was down. Alfred's voice was low and clipped. Almost unrecognizable from the sassy, well-mannered man who'd been like a father to you over the past four years.

"I'll let you know." answered Bruce before returning his attention to you. "Please." he said softly.

You shook your head. "It's so silly. They were just words."

"What did they say? Who said it?"

You sighed heavily. He wasn't going to let this go. And it was stupid of you to try to hide it from him. The World's Greatest Detective… The World's Most Attentive Fiancé was more like it. "The…people at the gala were mean to me," you admitted in a small broken voice. You hated the way you sounded. You hated even more that you'd let it get to you. "There. I told you. They were mean to me tonight and they said awful things about my weight, how much I ate at dinner. One woman gave some diet pills she swears by in the bathroom. It shouldn't bother me. It's not like I haven't experienced this before. I am a plus-sized person, I know that but…I don't know. These people gather every year to give away exorbitant amounts of money to make Gotham a better, safer place to live. I don't know, I guess I just expected better. Dumb, I know."

"It's not dumb."

"But it is! Bruce, you put on a mask every night and go face down real villains. Real villains that cause real pain with real weapons."

Bruce's jaw dropped. It took a lot to shock him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with everything because they're just words, Bruce, not bullets! And I let them get to me. I've been miserable all night. That's why you caught me in the hallway tonight. I didn't get lost, I just got down crying in a broom closet and I was walking around and waiting for my eyedrops to kick in and hide the redness! Now, can we please just drop it and forget that this ever happened?"

"No we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you feel like you can't confide in me just because of who I am and what I do at night. They're not just words, Y/N these people bullied you. You worked your ass off to make this Gala the success it was. We've never raised this much money in a single night before and it was because of you. Y/N I don't care how minor or unimportant you think it is. You don't have to get roundhouse kicked into a dumpster for your feelings to be valid."

You swallowed a laugh. "When in the world did you get roundhouse kicked into a dumpster?"

Bruce smiles. "That's the point. The point is your feelings are valid. And you can come to me with any of them."

"And I as well, *[Master/Miss] Y/N."

You breathed easy for the first time that night, And smiled for the first time that night. "Thank you. Both of you."

Bruce smiled back, pressing his forehead to yours. "Feel better?"

You nodded.

"Good. Because you're going to tell me the name of everyone who bothered you tonight. And then Batman is going to toilet paper their house and slash their fucking tires."

You barked out a laugh.

Bruce pulled you even closer leaving a trail of kisses from your temple to your collarbone. "You're perfect just the way you are, my heart. All of you."

REQUESTED! | REQUESTS: ALWAYS OPEN | REBLOG DON’T REPOST | MASTERLIST

[fanfiction-blep]

I am so hooked on your writing!

What do you think Quaritch would think of a pure of heart, dumb of ass human s/o? Someone with zero military experience- just a welder there to maintain equipment who wants to touch every colorful and shiny thing they can! SFW or NSFW please 🥺

Shiny~ Navi Miles Quaritch X human!Fem/Reader

Okay so this gave me slight neurospicy vibes. So i will put some of my own experiences as an ADHD person in here :)

Warnings: Reader being clueless and ending up in life or death situations? frustrated Quaritch. Light fluff. slight angst.

So you are more of an engineer than anything else. One of the few things that holds your attention is fixing equipment.

Your small nimble hands working quickly, without distraction.

however, if you are walking away, finishing up a job, or on rout the second anything moves in the corner of your eye. It has your attention.

Native animals in the treeline? yep they have you hooked. Floating glowing seed? your balancing them on your nose.

Everything is a friend until it proves itself otherwise. That can sometimes that can prove dangerous.

But you always have a tall blue man stalking closely behind you. Though you two had not been very public with your relationship it was plain as day when you were together.

You were as clumsy as you were smart. So his hands covering any sharp surface when he was around you was a regular occurrence.

you know the whole hand on the edge of the table thing? yeah he does that with anything that may hurt you, or that you may injure your head on.

One time you dropped a heavy wrench thinking you had a table near by, you did not. Before it could painfully hit your foot Quaritch was there to catch it. "Ye need to be more careful!" He would hiss at you, frustrated with your antics.

There has been one to many times in the filed that you would saunter over to a group of animals humming in joy when they noticed you. for the most part they were friendly.

However you did find that group of viperwolves, and yeah. Not friendly. You got a few scratches for sure. to put it lightly.

Quaritch did not let you get away without a scolding. "If ya gonna run off every five fuckin' seconds and force me to baby sit ya then i won't have ya on missions anymore" "Im sorry" you would whisper wincing as he cleaned the wounds on your arm. "I know baby, I know"

But a few weeks go by and your back at it again but this time with plant. Touching anything and everything. Not watching where you were going.

Fingers tracing along the delicate flesh of strange and new organisms.

Flying geckos catch your eye, spinning in rapid circles moving through the air. You chase after them mindlessly. Until a large pair of arms scoop you up. You look down and see a steep drop. You could have been really hurt.

"Stupid- Don't know why i bother-"

yeah you got cusses out real hard.

Eventually that was what he did, scoop you up and walk away. It was easier then letting you get yourself hurt.

the joke was made more than once that you were a child trapped in an adults body. the issue was, you weren't childish, or immature or clueless. Well maybe the later on occasion. You were just an air head.

one time some of the recoms decided to mock you in a slightly cruel manner. They got a laser pointer and hid behind a bunch of equipment. they shone the light in front of your face. waiting to see your head jump in the direction of the circular shape.

It did, and the excitement drained from your eyes as soon as their laughter rang out. Miles intervened quickly pulling the device away from them and crushing it beneath his boot. He placed his hand on the small of your back. ushering you away.

ready to sooth you and comfort you. however you needed.

[anisespice]

“ bust your windows ” || cheater!headcannons

                       “ you should feel lucky that that's all I did. ”

synopsis: this fool underestimated just how little you tolerated cheaters.

pairing: various x gn!reader

warnings: mature language, MDI. light violence, cheating, diff ways reader deals with it, mentions of blowjobs, mentions of a foursome, and i think that’s it. feel free to lemme know if i missed anything! ッ

notes: @bagels-yummm this one’s for YOU. after reading their post about reader never showing that R A G E when it came to being cheated on, i couldn’t agree more. even tho my recent story involving that very premise didn’t have that sweet revenge plot, i am here to contribute! hope you enjoy ♡

BUST HIM UP: PHYSICALLY 

For those who want to really let him have it, you’d confront his cheating ass the moment you found out. Right as he was having a cute little lunch with his side piece, you came barreling through the door with a sardonic grin spread across your face; the instant horror on his brought you great satisfaction. 

“‘At the gym’, huh? Didn’t know the gym sold fucking croissants!”

He abruptly stood, spluttering, already trying to do damage control. But you were a raging hurricane, and he was a shitty apartment that didn’t have the correct insurance. Before he even got the chance to spew some bullshit excuse, he’s met with scorching hot reality hitting him square in the face. Not only did you throw his drink on him, but his little date’s as well, and both were still fresh. He screamed bloody murder, hands trembling as he held his boiling skin. It wasn’t hot enough to actually melt it off, unfortunately, but his sounds of agony sufficed. 

Everyone in the cafe merely watched with mixed reaction, some enthralled whilst others felt the authorities should be called. You couldn’t care less, too busy chucking the napkin holders and decorative potted-plants at him now that he was immobilized. 

“Yeah, yeah, you piece of shit! You like that? How that karma feel, huh? Wanna fuck other bitches, hm?”

By now, he was curled up on the ground. His side piece had long vanished, not wanting to stick around knowing your wrath would be directed at them next. After publicly humiliating him, you caught your breath and gazed down at his cowering figure with pure distain. He groggily begged for forgiveness, claiming it you had it all wrong, but you weren’t born yesterday. You scoffed incredulously—Did he think you were stupid? As if you didn’t have receipts.

The photos, the messages, the fact he was dumb enough to let them use the Netflix account YOU paid for. And now, he wanted to insult your intelligence? Please.

Without hesitation, you spat on him. 

Was it necessary? Probably not. But neither was cheating on someone you claimed to love more than anything, and clearly didn’t mean it. You were gonna have to carry that hurt for the rest of your life; he should be grateful you didn’t do more.

“Don’t bother coming back for your stuff. I already burned it all.” 

SHINICHIRO, takemichi, chifuyu, kazutora, OIKAWA, kyotani, tanaka, kageyama, kenma, HAWKS, mirio, denki, SHINSOU, deku, twice, [insert anyone else who would fit].

BUST HIM UP: MENTALLY 

For those who want to play the long game, you’d act none the wiser to his infidelity. It stung like nothing you’ve ever experienced before when you caught him in bed with some whore, and it took every ounce of your willpower not to set it on fire with them still in it. Because, deep down, you knew men like him only learned the hard way.

And you planned on making him suffer. 

You started by acting real sweet with him. Months of you cooking him full course meals, giving him unprompted blowjobs, massaging his aching muscles after a long day, the whole nine yards. He thought he died and went to heaven, so much so that he saw his little plaything less often now that his lovely s/o started pampering him. Man’s was so confident that he was getting away with it, he got sloppy; let his guard down.

“Honey, can I use your phone real quick? I need to look up a recipe, but I think I left mine in the car.” You asked, fluttering your lashes with cute pout on your face. He didn’t think twice, especially not when you looked at him so sweetly. But once he turned his back, your burning gaze was filled with anything but.

The doorbell rang later that evening, and you were nearly done with dinner. He raised a brow, gaze lingering on the door—Neither of you were expecting anybody, to his knowledge. As you were chopping up the last of the vegetables, you venomously called out to your boyfriend, “Answer it.”

His lips pursed at your tone, but chose to ignore it. Doing as instructed, he lazily made his way to the door. At first, he figured it was just a neighbor, but when he checked the peephole...his blood ran cold. Practically ripping the door off its hinges he hurriedly came outside and shut it right behind him, back pressed against it as he stared bewilderedly at his side piece standing before him. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He lowly hissed, harshly grabbing their upper arm in mild panic. “I told you to never come around here again, are you out of your goddamn mind?” 

The person blinked, startled but also confused. “What are you talking about? You were the one who begged me to come over. Said you dumped that nagging bitch and finally kicked them to the curb.” 

“What? I never—” he paused. Then, realization hit him like a bus. But, before the dread could even build in his stomach, the door opened behind him. A cold chill ran up his spine. 

“Oh, great! You made it just in time for dinner. My name’s [_______], the nagging bitch. So nice to finally meet you.”

RAN, RINDOU, baji, hanma, wakasa, mikey, kokonoi, izana, smiley, IWAIZUMI, mattsun, atsumu, suna, bakugou, sero, dabi, [insert anyone else who would fit].

BUST HIM UP: EMOTIONALLY

For those who want to twist the knife, you did the one thing you knew would fuck him up HEAVY. And that was to trample on his already fragile ego. 

He was very possessive, never took kindly to those with wandering eyes whenever it came to you. Always worried someone better would take you away from him, and it got worse when it came to his friends. You reassured him numerous times that it would never happen, promising that he was more than enough for you. 

Sadly, the sentiment wasn’t mutual. 

He tried to hide it from you, but eventually the guilt became unbearable. And so he came clean. This man sobbed. Cried full on ugly tears and blubbered nonsense as you fought to keep your own composure. You felt sick. After everything you did for him—Boosted his confidence, made him feel special, and where did that leave you? Broken-hearted, with grown man tears staining your good sweater.

Nothing he said was going to ease this kind of pain, and he knew that. So when you walked away, he figured that would be the last he saw of you. But, that was far from the truth.

When you showed up to his apartment unannounced a few days later, he was shocked. He already looked like complete shit, and judging based on your expression, you thought so, too. He wanted to question why you were here, but before he could get a word out, your lips roughly claimed his own as you held him by the nape. He wasn’t prepared for the clash of teeth and tongue, soft whines leaving him as you pushed him inside and toward the bedroom, distracting him from the impending shadows that trailed in behind you. 

The next thing he knew, he was tied to his bed, looking about ready to succumb to the best hate-sex of his life. However, what he didn’t expect to see were a few of his closest friends entering the room. There’s an unspoken tension that develops, alarms sounding off in his head as the last one shuts the door and locks it. What were they doing here? Why were they looking at you like that? Those same alarms only grew louder as they each wordlessly stripped off their clothes, with you soon following suit. Starting to struggle against his restraints, his heart began to pound against his chest; he didn’t consent to a foursome. 

He immediately made that known, but you merely chuckled. The sound made his stomach turn in the worst way. When he went to demand explanation, you shoved your underwear in his mouth. Despite his better judgement, homie couldn’t help how hard he got from the situation, letting out a weak moan as your hand gripped his jaw and squeezed.

You leaned over his vulnerable form, grin sharp as you glowered down at him while he struggled against the tight knots. He saw a glint in your eye that held anything but good intent—And with your next few words, he couldn’t have been more correct. 

“They’re going to fuck me. And you’re going to watch.” 

ANGRY, draken, mitsuya, sanzu, KAKUCHO, tendo, kuroo, BOKUTO, akaashi, osamu, hinata, NISHINOYA, sugawara, todoroki, kirishima, TAMAKI, shigaraki, [insert anyone else who would fit]. 

© 2022-2023 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Could you pretend you love me? Pt 3

Soap x Fem reader (single mom)

Warning: grammatical and spelling errors. Long read because If I do another part I will forget about the ideas I have right now. Images not mine, credits of them to whoever they belong to. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Tension at home is hard to handle, you don't want to admit your feelings for Johnny, he puts his distance and it hurts, meanwhile, Emma needs help at school, Father and daughter's day is knocking on her door, she needs a hero.

Finally after months observing your neighbor, you found the proof and information you've been waiting for. Is this still only a mission or it turned into something else, something more real?

It was midday when you received a call from Emma's school. She had a fight with a girl during breakfast.

You called Emma to her dormitory as soon as you ended the call with her teacher. You were upstairs, while Johnny was In the dining room, he was still distant, both of you barely leave the house these days. But you had Emma on speaker, so he could hear something of your conversation with her.

«i didn't mean to hurt her, but she was making fun of me and you told me to not let them bother me!»

- Yes, but I never said hurt her my dear...

«i barely touched her! Was just a punch in her eye! It's not even purple, I swear... Y/n, you have to believe me»

- okay, okay I believe you, but... Baby, please don't do that ever again, ok?

«Okay. Y/n?»

- Yes?

«Where's Johnny?»

You quickly turned off the speaker and took the phone.

- He's downstairs working, why?

«The girl was making fun of me because she says I don't have a father and that's why you came last year to the father and daughter's day»

- Okay... And???

«I was... Wondering if you could invite him... Or could you invite Ghost? He's massive, my classmates would stop to annoy me if my dad is there»

You felt your heart breaking, you tried to not make her feel the absence of her father but apparently at school things are different. You know you messed up with Soap, he would probably refuse, you didn't know what to do.

- Ah... Honey I don't think It's a good idea, you don't need to prove them anything, I can go again, I'll do it better this time, you will win 1st place... I...

«Y/n please, I won't ask you anything else for the rest of the year, but please, please. Anyone! Just for one day!»

The way she was begging you to help her was making you feel like the worst person in the world, you could hear she was starting to cry, you felt a hole growing in your chest.

- Emma, don't cry baby, please, don't cry, listen..., I'll ask if someone can help us, ok? I can't promise you nothing, but I will try to convince someone, yes? Emma?

«okay, thank you y/n... I have to go, I love you»

- Okay, have a good day, yes? I love you too.

The rest of the day you've been crying, you feel like you're failing your best friend, she certainly would know how to solve it, but you feel too dumb.

You were cleaning your nose when Soap opened the door of the room, you tried to hide your face but it was too late, he saw you.

- Are you ok?

- Yeah, I just had something in my eye. What's up?

- I... I found something, an email, he will receive a bunch of weapons and... Something else that he didn't specify, this week, and the strange thing is that it will arrive here, to the house.

- Why would he have that in his house?

- I don't know, but at the moment we have that, we'll tell Price, probably we would need him and the boys to help us if there's something more serious.

- Yes, I'll send him an email, thanks Johnny, is... Is That all?

- Yup, and You? Is there something wrong?

You were going to ask him, but you feel you can't ask him to help you if you haven't apologized for your little drama.

- No, all good.

He rolled his eyes, sighed and left you alone. You know it's always hard for you to say sorry, but he was right you were jealous, very jealous of that woman. So your second option was to talk with Ghost and convince him to help you, maybe he would do it, after all, he said Emma was a sunshine, that gave you a hope.

But why? It's easy to say sorry and accept that Soap was right and make peace, but you're mulish. You texted Gaz to ask if he and Ghost were in the base, he simply responded «mission». on the other hand, Price asked you to not leave the house and observe and listen to every little thing from the enemy.

A couples hours later, Gaz texted they were back on the base just in case you needed something, you were very nervous, you were making all this situation more difficult, you're stubborn and mulish, you called Ghost.

« Hi Lt., Listen I... I was wondering if you can help me with something, it is completely out of our work (...) Yeah?, I can't leave the house though, but can you come over when you have the opportunity? Thanks!»

You went downstairs, Soap was still working, eating baby carrots, pretending he wasn't observing you, but he was.

- Are you going to tell me why you were crying?

- Are you going to stop your silent treatment against me?

- That means you will not tell me... ok, I get it.

He stood up and put on his boots and a jacket. took his car keys and walked to the door.

- I'll go to the grocery store, you want something?

- I'm fine, thanks.

He closed the door while you muttered «i want my fake husband back...» you can admit it when you're alone, but never In front of him. You hate when he's right, you hate to accept it. You're debating with yourself when Ghost sends a text.

«on the way» you're praying for help, you hope he accepts because you refuse to say you messed up and apologize to Soap.

You're waiting for someone, no matter who, Soap or ghost, it doesn't matter, you're already bored, there's no movement or any interesting conversation in your neighbor's house. Nothing. Until the doorbell sounds.

Ghost is outside, wearing civil clothes and a black mask, you opened and offered him a drink. Both are in the kitchen talking about the mission, you mentioned your little discussion with Soap but not the entire version, you omitted some details.

- It'll be over soon (y/n)

- Yes, well... Now, I... I don't know how to ask you this so I'll simply say it, okay?

- Go on.

- Would you go with me to a parents day at Emma's school?

Ghost stayed quiet, shocked, he was waiting for you to say something else but you're mute now.

- Can't you go alone?

- I can, but... It's actually for Fathers and daughters, Last year I went and it was fine without any problem, but... Emma had a fight at school this morning, some girls were making fun of her because... You know, it's only me and her. There's no "Father"...

You laughed nervously, he's still thinking about what you said.

- You don't have to accept it though, I can ask Gaz or Price... Feel free to reject it but Emma literally cried and begged me to ask you...

Both stayed in silence, you're biting your nails waiting for an answer, any answer is better than his silence.

- Fine, when?

- Really?

- Yes...

You jumped to him and hugged him, you know he doesn't like the contact but you couldn't stop yourself, your face is hidden on the crook of his neck while you say over and over «Thank you, thank you Si!» he doesn't return the hug, instead he just gives you little pats on your back. A new person joins you.

- Ah... What's going on here?

Both jumped, Soap is in the doorframe with a paper bag, observing both of you.

In Soap's mind there's a lot of questions floating. (Why are you hugging Ghost like that? Do you have something with him that no one knew? Why am I feeling annoyed... Or... Am I jealous? Is this how you felt when you saw me talking with that girl? What are you doing to me y/n?)

- Nothing, I asked Ghost to come to talk about something and see if he could help me with it.

Soap is not ok with that answer, it looks like you hide something from him, also ghost is not helping he's just there in silence. After a moment where the three of you stayed in a very uncomfortable silence, Ghost stood up.

- Well, if that's all I think I have to go, send me details later Y/n.

- For sure, thank you Lt.

Soap's face is enough for you to notice he's more angry than before, he put the bag on the kitchen's table. Ghost passed by his side and Soap went behind him, both went out and you stayed there not sure of what to do.

Ghost rarely talks but this time he feels like there's something wrong between you and Soap.

- Johnny... Is everything ok between you and her?

Soap stopped and Ghost turned to look at him.

- Honestly, I don't know Lt. This mission... Looked simple, remember how I laughed and said it would be like those movies that mix romance and action? Well, It's more difficult than it seems.

- What you mean?

- it has been hard to... Remember we're just pretending, everything started to get more and more real. I think I...

He stopped himself, was he really accepting there are some feelings involved?.

- You what?

- I just... want this to end soon.

- it'll be over soon Johnny. Everything will go back to normal soon.

Simple but effective, those words brought some peace to Soap. He only nodded, they were saying goodbye when a Black trailer parked in front of the house, in that moment you also went out.

- Guys! I... Come here! Now!

Both ran to you, once you closed the door, you started to explain yourself.

- That trailer contains a Gas... Very toxic.

- What?

- Chemical weapons?

- Exactly, this guy is planning to use them to create chaos and move his weapons freely. Listen.

«Yeah, about the chemicals, I want it in a bomb. We'll drop it in the center of the city, it will be enough to distract everybody and send the rest of the weapons and missiles to Mexico without problem.»

- How are they planning to move all that? We have to put some trackers In the trailer, we will obtain the location of where it comes from or where it goes.

- Plane or boats, this location has a quick access to the airport and the dock and the port . Call Laswell and Price, tell them we have to move before this bloody bastard!

Ghost left after that, you and Soap stayed there, for a moment the work is helping to not think about the elephant in the room, both are too busy to pay attention to your hearts.

Soap went to put a track on the trailer while you were trying to obtain more information, you hide in the backyard of your neighbor, Jeff has been making calls all day, you're just waiting.

- Y/n... Tracker on the trailer, how's everything going over there?

- Nothing to report yet.

- Copy. Tell me if you need help.

- I'm fine Sergeant.

After a while you decided to go back to the house, there wasn't anything else. Soap wasn't there, or at least that's what you thought, you yelled his name but he didn't answer, instead you heard a noise in the bathroom, you took your gun and walked to the bathroom's door, you opened with a quick kick and Soap's voice and his naked body made you jump.

- What the hell is wrong with you?

- I thought you weren't here, you didn't answer! Jesus! Put a shirt on!

- I took a fucking shower!

You walked to the room and he was behind you, you heard him laughing.

- It's not fucking funny, I could hurt you!

- You wouldn't be so upset if I were Ghost...

He muttered, you turned back to look at him, what did he say? How does he dare to say that?.

- and you wouldn't be an idiot if I were that stupid girl you saw the other night! How can you believe I want to be with Ghost!?

- I saw you, the way you hugged him! You feel something for him, I'm so stupid for thinking you and I...

- No, you're so stupid to think I want him when I'm fuckin' crazy for you, idiot!

Both stayed in silence, you realized what you said and before you could say something else, Soap's lips Collided with yours, his body glued to yours, both fell on the bed.

A few hours later both were laying in bed, your head was resting in Johnny's chest while you were drawing invisible little circles on his body, while he was doing the same on your exposed back.

A pillowtalk about where this situation was going was enough to let all clear between both of you.

«I'm sure about what I want, and I want you, I want you Y/n, nobody else but you»

Both fell asleep, a terrible mistake.

- Soap... (You whispered)

- hmm...

- Soap, Wake up, slowly...

- What...?

He opened his eyes just to see you standing in front of the bed, a man has a gun on your head, while another is pointing to him.

- Stand up, slowly or I shoot at her.

You're not afraid, Soap looks at you and nods, you know he will try to unarmed the man at his side, you're ready to do the same as soon as he gives you any sign.

He gets up, with his hands up, in the blink of an eye, both unarmed the men, a shot echoed. You thought you were hurt but it wasn't you, a bullet hit Soap's arm, it's nothing serious, but he was hurt, you quickly made a bandage, Soap called Price to let him know what happened and warn him they were moving, the trailer was at the port with the missiles and tanks of gas. Another team was assigned to search and disassemble the bomb in the center of the city, while All of you were on the way to stop the ship.

It was easier than expected, all the men in the ship were new in this, some of them surrendered while some others tried to fight you, Jeff was captured by Soap, he found him in a restaurant close to the port, he was receiving the first part of the payment for his services, he confessed he would receive the other half after the weapons arrived to Mexico.

The night passed quickly, Soap was attended, he would be fine but he would have a new scar on his bicep.

Everybody was in the meeting room, Ghost was talking with Johnny about something, while you, Gaz and the captain were talking about what you found in the ship and the people who decided to cooperate and give their testimonials.

It was early in the morning, you were in your office, writing your report and doing paperwork when Soap's voice made you jump from your seat.

- Ghost told me about that Parent's day at Emma's school.

- Jesus! Fuck, you have to stop scaring me like that!

- Sorry, why didn't you tell me?

- We weren't in a good moment Johnny. Also, Emma wanted Ghost because she thinks he's more handsome than you and has a little crush on him too.

You made a mischievous smile, you were trying to pissed him, he made that fake and silly offended look and rolled his eyes while he was walking to your desk, once he was close to you he kissed your lips and muttered.

- Ew!! I don't want to know about my daughter's Crushes! And Ghost told me I can go instead of him just if you and Emma are ok with that.

You smiled at him, did he really call Emma 'His Daughter'? You returned the kiss and nodded in silence.

- I think she would love to see both of you, we'll say Ghost is her uncle.

- That sounds perfect, my sweet wife.

- Easy Mactavish, I don't have a ring yet.

- I'll get one as soon as possible, before you can reconsider and reject me.

Both laughed, how did you end like this? Falling for him and him falling for you, months ago it was only you and Emma, then all that show with a fake family that became real, you still think you're dreaming, certainly, love arrives and grows up in the weirdest and most unexpected ways.

Emma was the happiest girl at that Parent's school event, her 'daddy' and 'Uncle' surprised her, the competition was successful, Emma obtained the first place, all her classmates were talking about how lucky she was to have a family that supports her, Soap sent you a million photos of them, even Ghost looked happy to be there. Eventually for Emma's birthday, Price and Gaz joined her new family, everything resulted well after all.

For once, in months, you felt like you were doing it great not only with Emma but in your life, you felt like finally you were making your best friend proud of you, her daughter was happy, safe and healthy, with a new family, you with a great boyfriend who actually is a good father, and always reminds you how wrong you were about him.

- Okay, okay, you win, you're a good father and boyfriend material.

- Boyfriend? Y/n, I'm more than your boyfriend, I'm your future husband, and this time will be forever, and 100% real.

[soleilnomoon]

Hello! May I get some strawberries and possibly some mango with a mai tai (Kidd) and songs 3,4 and 16 from the playlist please! Thank you so much!

hihi  ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ i love writing for kidd, he’s so ridiculous all day every day. ty for requesting & i hope you have fun reading 💛💕

1k words (it wasn’t my fault), gn reader (no pronouns), nsfw, 18+ mdni; fluff (it’s there somewhere) & smut; feat. kidd & reader in denial bc that’s how i live my life, a lil fwb except is that all there is~, alcohol, kidd being dumb & that’s how reader likes him (tbh me too), rough sex (does kidd even know the definition of gentle? no?), kitchen sex, choking, a lil bit of a hand job, idk no real warnings except eustass kidd deserves his own warning bc *motions to him* have u seen that man in action (if u see spelling errors/grammar mistakes no u didn't 💕)

it’s not goodbye, you remind yourself for the fourth time that night, throat suddenly dry at the thought. the ice in your cup melted a while ago, so you toss the watered-down drink onto the sand before standing up. when eustass kidd insisted on throwing a party, you didn’t think much of it; how quickly you forget that pirates are notorious for their theatrics and kidd isn’t immune to that behavior.

a large bonfire blazes in the middle of the beach, the air warm and sticky; you hate how humid it is and hate that you let the others talk you into drinking. now your hair is tied up, to keep its thickness away from your neck and face, as sweat glides down your skin. without looking back, you leave everyone behind and make the short trek back to your house. you’re determined to shower and call it a night; you doubt your presence will be missed that much.

after downing another shot of tequila, a frown works its way onto kidd’s lips as he stares at the empty shot glass in his hand. he’d meant to just have a few drinks, but he got roped into game after game by his crew mates and he lost track of time.

now you’re gone.

it’s a sobering enough thought that he shoves the glass into wire’s hand, not bothering to explain himself as he goes searching for you. he doesn’t like that you left the party early, and he doesn’t like that he’s a little bit miserable because you’re not with him right now.

it’s foolish to feel that way and equally foolish to want to do something about it. he knows that, but it’s not enough to make him turn back around.

when he finds your backdoor unlocked — a nasty habit that he can’t believe you refuse to correct — a small wave of irritation surrounds him. you didn’t bother locking the door because you knew he’d eventually make his way over — you assumed it would be much later, but kidd is always unpredictable.

and because he’s incapable of stealth when he’s annoyed, you hear him rummaging through your kitchen. you stand in the doorway, hands on your hips as you watch him eat several pastries in a row.

the man’s stomach is an abyss, you’re quite sure of it now.

“there are plates, y’know,” you say lightly, a teasing smile sliding onto your face with ease, “and napkins too.” since it’s obvious kidd has no home training whatsoever. he doesn’t see what the fuss is, but he knows it drives you crazy when he does that — which is possibly why he keeps doing it.

“didn’t feel like using them.”

his answer should annoy you, but it doesn’t; if anything, it just makes you smile again, a little sadly this time. it doesn’t go unnoticed by kidd, however, who narrows his eyes at you.

“why do you keep leaving that door unlocked?”

you blink a few times, confusion briefly taking hold of you before you realize he’s serious. “you ask me that all the time,” you counter and walk over to him, voice airy as you decidedly stuff the rest of your complicated feelings for him into a tiny box. “and what do i always say?” you place your hands on his chest — soft and gentle, which only annoys him even more.

because you like to do that — touch him like you care, like you enjoy his presence. his mind likes to play tricks on him, so he refuses to believe it; except it’s hard to tell the truth from fiction when he leans down to kiss you. all those pesky, bothersome thoughts coast to the back of his mind when you lick a bit of powdered sugar from his lips.

when he kisses you again, a different kind of heat passes through you, making you press closer, practically melting against him when his tongue caresses yours. it’s in between sloppy tongue kisses that he asks you to come with him — the decision is rash, and he hasn’t thought it through all the way, but the idea of you staying behind only pisses him off.

your heart beats a little too loudly at the prospect of leaving home and going off with him, but your answer is lodged in your throat, unable to come out no matter how badly you want to tell him yes.

he knows how deep your stubbornness goes, so naturally he’s just going to have to help you make the right decision. when he hoists you onto the counter, you unzip his pants with hurried movements and kidd groans softly as you start stroking him. you like the luxury of having your own place, but you know you’ll be lonely when kidd leaves — more unpleasant feelings that you can’t seem to keep hidden.

you wrap your legs around him as he inches his cock inside of you — slowly, at first, before he pulls back and snaps his hips forward, thrusting roughly. your lips are on his again, fingers sifting through his hair as he fucks you harder.

“come with me,” he insists again and again, you shake your head and keep your lips pressed together because you know you’re so close to saying otherwise. he clicks his tongue and he grabs your throat so you can look at him. “why?”

you wish he’d let this go — but a small, much more selfish part of you is glad he’s pressing the issue. “because…” you gasp and moan when he squeezes your neck as he gives you short, brutal strokes. kidd’s stamina is unrivaled; he fucks you like he’s trying to break the counter, nearly forgetting himself and his brute strength. he eases up a bit and releases his hold, but you’re panting when you speak again.

“w-what if you get tired of me?” your voice is quiet, but he hears you perfectly clear.

kidd rolls his eyes before tugging on your earlobe with his teeth. “is that all?” a ridiculous fear, but he can’t really judge you, now, can he? kidd fixes you with a pointed look, one that says be serious. he almost admits that he could never be tired of you, not even if he tried.

you want to tell him that you’re being very serious, but don’t get the chance as his cock hits a spot that has you babbling incoherently at him. kidd laughs out loud because knows what your answer really is; he’s just going to keep fucking you until you can say it with conviction.

[roguelov]

Imagine Dream and you watching a scary movie and you being terrified even though you know it's not real. Dream comforts you by holding you close and snuggling with you.

Yes!!! This one for all my scaredy cats (me included!)

Why?

Why did you think this was a good idea?

You thought you would step out of your comfort zone and watch a scary movie, one everyone recommended and praised about.

However, your body was on high alert. You clutched a decorative pillow from your couch tight to your chest. It was your only comfort. You wanted to tear your eyes away from the unfolding scene, but you couldn’t. You had to know what happens, despite the fear you were slowly choking on.

When a rather intense scene popped up, you whipped your head away wincing. A whimper almost bubbles out of you.

Dream peered over at you. While you were curled into a ball, clutching a pillow with wide eyes, Dream was sitting comfortably unbothered.

His heart broke at the sight.

Dream spoke softly, “Come here, my dear.”

He didn’t wait for your answer. He immediately wrapped his arms over your shoulders, drawing you towards him. Dropping the pillow, you fell into him and nuzzled your face into his chest.

“I feel so stupid,” you muttered quietly. “It’s just a dumb movie.”

He rubbed your back. “A movie whose purpose is to frighten you, so no it is not stupid.”

You grumbled.

A loud bang followed by a scream made you jump. Your whole body tensed up frozen in fear.

Dream tightened his arms around you, whispering, “It’s okay, I would never let anything harm you.”

You exhaled slowly, trying to calm yourself.

“Here.” Dream waved his hand, shutting off the tv. “Now, nothing should scare you.”

“… thanks.”

He kissed the top of your head. “Shall I put on a different movie? Something more lighthearted?”

“No, this is fine.”

“Perhaps, I can tell you a story instead.”

A smile tugged on your lips. “Please?”

“Of course.”

Taking a deep breath, his hypnotic voice wrapped around you. He trailed his finger along your back drawing shapes as you completely relaxed into him. He instantly weaved a story of adventure and most of all of love.

And in seconds, you were fast asleep.

Dream smiled. No nightmares will bother you. Only sweet dreams for his sweet mortal.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Sooooo I was searching up Rick and Morty Mary Sue, to see if anyone put Elle (Only one media outlet did if you're curious, and a quick lil fuck you for Elle ofc) anddddd I stumbled upon this article:

Now if you don't want to read this article, I wouldn't blame you, it's long and it is full of shit takes. But as someone who regretfully read all of it, I'll summarize the points and show why they suck, and I know the article was made 5 years ago so I shouldn't care about it, but also heyyyy shut up, AND also, I doubt anyone will, but please do not harass the person that made this article, I hate the article, not them as a person, also harassing people is just an asshole thing to do. So just leave them alone and we can point and laugh at this article, cool? Cool. Anyway let's get started!

"People who think Pickle Rick is the most original piece of humor ever created"

Basically this was them saying Pickle Rick wasn't funny. I…don't understand how this is a dig at the show. And this is coming from someone that didn't like the Pickle Rick episode and thinks it's overrated. But I can see that's not the only reason why people like that episode. They like it for the good animation, Dr. Wong, and the action.

2. "The never ending slew of toilet humor is just not necessary"

This is just them complaining about the toilet humor and saying it's not necessary. I…who's gonna tell them humor isn't necessary in general, and trust me, some shows have way more toilet humor than Rick and Morty, and as someone who doesn't find toilet humor funny, it never really grossed me out or bothered me with Rick and Morty. It doesn't show anything gross, it isn't too detailed with toilet humor, it's just dumb cheap humor, it's really not that deep, they also crank down on it with other seasons.

3. "People actually want to be Rick, and it's wrong on so many levels"

This is basically saying that dudebros idolize Rick, and that Rick is a Mary Sue

I'M SORRY WHAT!?

This is probably the worst take the article has. Rick is meant to be seen as an asshole, he's called an asshole and is called out multiple times, by a lot of people, Dr. Wong gave him a "reason why you suck" speech. Rick has multiple flaws, and he's not meant to be seen as sexy, RICK HIMSELF and some random lil guy refer to Rick as ugly, he's not meant to be a good character. Rick is competent at science and is strong, but he gets his ass beat multiple times, and literally DIED in Unmortricken, he does come back, ofc he does, but my point still stands. He has character development, but that doesn't make him a Mary Sue?!

Also you're not SUPPOSED to idolize Rick. Yes some fans certainly do, but the show consistently shows you that he is miserable and is not okay in general, yes some far idolize him, but that's not the shows fault, also this show is meant for ADULTS, which means they don't have to have a good person as their protagonist, especially if they aren't mean to be a role model, and as long as the show doesn't glorify it, it's not their fault. Adults should be smart enough to not over idolize characters from tv shows anyways. Rick is a heavily traumatized person that the show doesn't glorify, so it's not the show's fault if people glorify him, and he definitely isn't a Mary Sue.

Also I should mention that Memory Rick, was horrified that he was eventually going to become Rick, and even called Rick his "all too real cautionary tale from the future" Rick isn't meant to be a good person or meant to be idolized. The person that wrote this article needs media literacy.

4. "Morty is genuinely a pointless character"

The summary is basically what the caption says. They call Morty pointless, saying he doesn't do anything. They DID NOT just say that about my boy. Morty is anything but pointless, he creates the conflict for some episode (Mortynight Run, Rattlesnake Ricklatica, That's Amorte), solves the conflict in some episodes (Total Rickall, These Ricks must be Crazy, Get Schwifty), and has episodes that develop him as a character (Look Who's Purging Now, The Rickshank Rickdemption, Fear No Mort, ESPICALLY Fear No Mort) he is far from a useless character, and aside from his trauma not being explored as much as it should, is a pretty good example of a male abuse victim, and is meant to show what happens when someone spends too much time with Rick, he is NOT useless, I do not know what you are smoking, what is it and can I have some? Rick wants some too.

5. "It's not diverse in any way"

Now this is one of the few I can actually understand…except for uhm…one tiny flaw.

The main character is Depressed, Hispanic, Pansexual, and Autistic. And the rest of the family besides maybe Morty are Bisexual, sooooo uhm…

6. "It thinks it's the most intelligent show ever created"

This point is basically saying it has plot holes, tries and fails to outsmart fans, and fans have to spend hours creating fan theories to make sense of the show's plot.

Now, I'm not the best person to talk about plot holes in stories, but the plot always makes sense to me, even after I rewatched it so…so many times. And I never see all too many plot holes, the only one I can really think of is how Rick alternated the memory of his backstory, but the plot episodes always makes sense, and are generally my favorite episodes. And specifically Rick's backstory, makes a lot of Rick's actions make sense, and has a good amount of foreshadowing beforehand.

They also said at the end (It wasn't a point so I'm not listing it as one) that Rick and Morty just has characters that are a bundle of toilet humor and dialogue that could've been written on someone's first acid trip and…huh?

The characters feel very relatable, real, and human. Morty is someone I relate to a lot, and he feels very real, like I could see meeting someone like him in real life, and Rick, despite being a literal sci-fi scientist, feels very real, and I even relate to him which uhm…I shouldn't. Even the characters I don't personally relate to like Summer, Beth, and Jerry, still feel grounded and real in a way, so…yeah.

Overall this article is harmless, it just has some really trashy takes, but again do not harass the person who made this article, it's not their fault their stupid and not smart enough to understand the genius of Rick and Morty…I'M JOKING! But yeah, please do not read this article, and just I dunno go outside and touch grass or smth. Also DON'T watch Big Mouth (This article thinks you should) anyways Byeeeeeeee!

[redrobin-detective]

Robin Robin what do you mean Sam killed Danny did she just yeeted him in the ghost machine Robin Robin please I need answers

Ask and you shall receive but be warned the answers may not be what you are looking for. (IE they are dumb).

So there's technically two canonical versions of Danny's accident, the OG and Memory Blank (s2e1).

The OG happened sometime late summer/early fall of the trio going into high school. The group has been friends for some time (its part canon/part fanon that Danny and Tucker were initially friends with Sam joining later on) and were comfortable enough Dan felt ok letting them over to see his parents' "failed" ghost portal. Sam was intrigued, Danny uninterested on the surface level but secretly curious. Sam encourages him to looks inside, he presses the conveniently placed on button inside and boom, ghost boy.

This recap is made light of in the season 2 opener Memory Blank (my beloathed) while fanon reallllllly runs with Sam's guilt and grief over sorta/almost killing her friend. But I digress, the episode kicks off with Sam and Danny arguing leading her to wishing she had never met Danny out loud. The wish granting ghost, Desiree, overhears and makes it so. Because of this, Danny never had his accident and was completely human with no knowledge of Sam.

This is where the episode upsets me. Sam is upset about losing her friendship with Danny (and Tucker to a lesser extent but they make it creepy 🙄) but its framed as Sam being desperate to get Danny his powers back. If you almost killed your friend in the past and magically got a do over, would you really put him through that again??? There is no real external pressure to make Danny become Phantom again aside from Desiree continuing to grant monkey's paw wishes. Amity Park looks much like it always has, seemingly unaffected by the lack of Phantom. Hell, the portal is still not working so there's a chance there are no other ghosts in town to cause mischief and mayhem. All we see is Desiree who hardly is the worst villain for someone, preferably an adult, to deal with.

Aside from the fact its a cartoon series called Danny Phantom there is no reason for Sam to do this again. And yet she persists in badgering Danny - who does not know her at all - into doing something he has no understanding of the consequences. The lack of informed consent was something that bothered me all the way back when I was 12 watching it live. So Sam makes Danny recreate the accident, making him Phantom again (this time with a logo that Sam slapped on without telling him bc she thought it looked cool. Again!!!! No discussion or anything). We get a few deeply uncomfortable segments of Danny relearning his powers before he magically remembers everything and its back to the status quo except now he's got a logo.

The literal whole point of the episode was to give him a marketable symbol to make him more like a "proper superhero". Sam's selfishness (a character flaw we see woven throughout the series but never meaningfully explored), the lack of consent, the stupid ass plot all combine to create what I think is a travesty of an episode.

I have gotten off topic but, yes, in both cases Sam's curiosity and overbearing nature combined with Danny's more passive personality and sense of wonder to pssp pssp pssp him into the death machine. There has been some excellent fic exploring (in an actual, realistic, interesting way) of the trio coping with Sam's casual suggestion leading to complete biological rewiring, a changed life trajectory, trauma and injury.