#this is not a joke i genuinely. hnn.....

[robinvomit]

Hiii my love 💕 hope this asks finds you better and happy and all the good things in the world (if not it's okay, we can bury the body together)

I don't know if you've seen it, but there's a trend on tiktok where people (usually girls) post a picture of a very clear animal or thing, and asks "if you guys can tell me what this is, I'll let my boyfriend go out with his friends tonight" and of course, all the comments are filled with the wrong answers lmao

So I just imagined this trend happening but with our boys. Everyone. Who would give the smartass responses, who would he super sarcastic, or who should genuinely play along xd

Thoughts?

-Selene 🌚 (XOXO you better take care of yourself👊❤️)

hnn, hi love 🖤 it.. definitely found me, that's a start.

i have not 😞 you and other anons are basically my source of tiktoks and trends — i am old, remember. however, ofc, i had to go snoop aaaand.. youre getting way more than what i planned.

Dick: oh, he's going to think its hilarious at first, pointing out the different comments — but hes confident at least one will totally bail him out. he is. and he slowly starts to realize he is pretty much doomed. "i'm... not going out tonight, am i."

Jason: considering he doesn't do tech and social media much, he brushes it off, watching you enjoy your little game.. until he tries to leave and you have blocked the door, big eyes, showing him the screen and giving him a look that says if he leaves, hes getting locked out. "...fuck."

Tim: he would be the type to actually get mad over people being stupid on purpose — like, hes horrified anyone would even want to be perceived that way even for a joke. hes equally as mad that youre laughing so hard at both the comments and him being so serious. however, he deflates pretty quickly. "youre seriously not going to let me go?"

Damian: similar to tim, though not mad — just highly fucking annoyed and completely done with people. he is cursing you and them in every language he knows under his breath. threatens the existence of people you don't even know. he doesn't even accept it like the others — he stands, arms crossed, eyes narrowed: "Fix it, beloved."

Kon: he's amused for about five seconds. because hes kon— he's totally up for a prank, a joke or two, no big deal. however, when he sees you laugh and continue to read the answers, it clicks. "wait.. baby, wait, no- c'mon, we've had this planned for two weeks. you know tim will actually kill me if i ruin a plan? god forbid— i just got.. grounded by tiktok. cool, okay."

Bart: he's so bitter and a lot more over it than even tim and damian. hes just laying on the floor while you read off the comments, palms pressed to his eyes. "its a duck. its literally a fucking duck. youre not letting me go because people are stupid. sick. awesome. love that for me." "youre all useless and i hope every single one of you catches the corner of a coffee table."

Roy: does not take it seriously at first, too tired to even entertain the idea — similar to dick in the overly optimistic ways of thinking someone will bail him out. until; "babe? baby, wait, gorgeous— youre not being serious." your response is to show him a comment that says 'sink??' and he groans. "i hate it here. i hate tiktok, i hate youth. i cant even be mad, i think im just disappointed."

Wally: immediately points out that they're wrong and this is completely unfair and makes the mistake of saying he'll just do the same thing next time she goes out. which digs his grave deeper because "wow.. i was totally going to let you go before that." and wally groans, realizing that was stupid. "babe, dont do this. please. im supposed to be helping Barry to tonight-.. ugh, just tell him im dead, he'll never let me live this down."

[rallamajoop]

What is your bunny called?

Ah, what the hell, it's Easter, season of the bunny ‒ let's do this properly.

Meet Attila the Bun!

(I can't actually take credit for that name, but that's a longer story.)

Anyway. The first and by far the most important thing you need to know about Attila is that he wants you (yes, you) to rub his cheeks.

If you asked him, "Attila! What is best in life?" he would respond, "Cheek rubs!" And while you sit there waiting for him to maybe list another best-thing or two ‒ maybe getting into the vegie beds, or digging big holes in places he's not supposed to, or at least the inevitable, treats! ‒ he'll be down there, significantly nudging your ankle, because excuse you, he said cheek rubs, why are aren't you rubbing his cheeks yet?

Don't get me wrong ‒ like any pet, he loves treats too. He loves grape vine leaves so much he has effectively trimmed our grape vine from the bottom up to as high as he can reach. Some days he will jump up on a chair just to reach higher. He will regularly do a little happy dance just because he's seen me go near the grape vine, which can only mean one thing (sure, I may claim I'm there to hang out my laundry, but he isn't fooled).

But frankly, most of the time, you can leave the treats, he'll eat them when you're gone ‒ while you're here, how about rubbing his cheeks? Reach down to offer this guy any treat he's not completely in the mood for, and he's liable to go, hnn, y'know what, this here hand could be rubbing my cheeks. His happy place is sitting with his face in my lap, getting rubbed on both cheeks at once (a single cheek is acceptable if you're holding a camera, but we both know you can do better).

Attila mostly spends his days in our back yard, but by around 5:30 most evenings you'll find him sitting up top in his two-storey hutch, patiently waiting for the miraculous appearance of tasty rabbit pellets he's learned to expect in the evening (post-pellets, you will usually find him snoozing in a happy pellet coma). In the morning, however, convincing him that the hutch is open again, and that he can totally come out and enjoy the garden, is often complicated by the fact that you're standing near his hutch, and you could definitely be giving him a good head-scritch or some cheek-rub through the bars.

He spends so much time doing this that I have been known to joke that if someone ever stuffed Attila then propped him up at the bars of his hutch in this exact position, it might genuinely take me a while to notice.

It is to my great shame that Attila had been living with me for some time before I happened upon a random youtube video by a fellow rabbit-owner who mentioned in passing that her bun liked having her cheeks rubbed. Believe me when I tell you that nothing I have ever done for this lil' guy has improved his quality life more than the day we discovered just how much he enjoyed this particular form of attention. From that day forth, I am no longer his owner, I am his cheek rub delivery service.

(He will still attest that I do absolutely give the best cheek rubs. No-one else in the household is nearly so willing to flow down on the grass with him so he can shove his face up on my leg. The fact he usually gets a grape vine leaf afterwards doesn't hurt either.)

Now, just to end this post, I'm going to have to hope there are no underaged buns reading, because I am about to share some filthy bunny-porn.

[spaceysillyswitch]

it's so late at night but i just want to keep edging myself stupid

[yuanzhous]

For @nxxttime, who I still can’t believe likes my writing when she’s an Actual Legend, and gave me the prompt:  "Did my best, now I'm scared to death; I might lose everything." Had to tweak it slightly, hope that’s okay. 

One would have thought that after all the times he's been hit with fear toxin Bruce would have developed an immunity to it. But it turned out you couldn't inoculate yourself against fear. It didn't matter how many times he'd had the same chilling vision, how many times he'd told himself it wasn't real and he just had to keep it together until he could take the antidote. Somehow, each time was worse that the last.

Tonight the after effects were particularly vicious, and even hours after he'd come back to himself he couldn't shake off the anxiety crawling under his skin. His children, bloody and beaten. His children dead because of the life he’d brought them into. He knew it hadn't been true today – but what comfort was that?

It had been true before. And fear whispered to him that it would be again, and again, no impossible resurrections this time, no tricks, until Bruce had destroyed everything he loved and he was alone. It would be kinder, fear insisted, to let them go now. Maybe they wouldn't understand, and he'd still be alone, but at least they would be alive.

But he couldn't afford to go down that path. Pushing his kids away was one of if not the worst mistake of his life, and one he made routinely. Nothing good had ever come out of it. He had to do better, be better, for their sake.

Long after the kids had all gone to sleep or left, Bruce lay awake, an oppressive weight on his chest. He rose from his bed with a sigh, giving up even the pretense of sleep, and traipsed silently through the house.

There was no comfort to be found indoors. He exited the manor through the back door in the kitchen and made his way through the grounds to where his parents' headstones awaited. It was drizzling, little inconsequential droplets of water coating his hair and clothes. Once he made it to his destination, he knelt in front the graves, head bowed.

“Hi,” he said quietly.

He made a point to come here on certain days: their death day, birthdays, anniversary, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd visited them spontaneously like now. Maybe that was a good thing. Now did not feel like something to be envied.

“I thought I lost my kids again tonight,” he murmured into the silence. “I knew it wasn't real. I've dealt with Crane's creations enough that I always know. But what I know and what I believe...”

Even as he spoke, he had the urge to seek them all out just to make sure they were still breathing. Only Duke and Damian were staying in the manor tonight. Dick was in the penthouse, Tim and Jason in their respective apartments. Cassandra was all the way in Hong Kong, and it broke him a little to know that if anything happened, he was too far away to get to her in time.

But with all the mistakes he'd made, all the times he'd alienated them, intentionally or not, he felt grateful just for the privilege of knowing where each of them was. It was not so long ago that Jason refused to disclose the location of his real apartment to any of them, and Damian still sometimes stormed off after arguments without telling anyone where he was going.

“I keep telling myself that I did my best,” he confessed. As woefully inadequate as his best might have been. “But I'm scared to death. I might lose everything.”

The graves had no answer for him, but someone else did. A small figure stepped out of the shadows, coming to stand beside Bruce.

“You won't,” Damian said.

Bruce rose to his feet and brushed the dirt and mud off his knees. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it,” Damian replied steadily, an undercurrent of worry in his voice. He tutted in admonishment. “If you were still suffering from the effects of the toxin, you should have alerted someone.”

“That's not what this is,” Bruce said. “There's no reason for concern. It's all out of my system.”

“I see. And is fear less worth noting when it isn't caused by hallucinogens?” Damian's tone was challenging now. “Because you've told me that fear isn't weakness. It isn't shameful. So why are you hiding yours?”

Bruce closed his eyes and exhaled. “You're right,” he admitted. “But I can't...I'm your father. I don't know how to share this without...burdening you. It's difficult.”

“Of course it's difficult,” Damian agreed, almost flippant. His mouth curled at the corner, just the hint of a smirk, and he said, “Just do your best.”

“Hnn.” It was because they shared their sense of humor that Bruce realized it was as much as joke as it was a genuine request. “I will.”

[cherubsoda]

That ship meme with Dante maybe :Oc

thank you! but worm,, i hope i didnt force you to send this in ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | im too afraid to be indulgent 

How long will they last? - as long as this bitch wants me in his damn heart but um forever

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - like actually?? not just flirting? a good year and a half probably. its like gradual like haha i like you lets go out and one day its just like :0 shit this is getting serious oh damn alright!!!!!!

How was their first kiss? - probably awkward but heartfelt! because wow im your first kiss? thats whack,,

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Dante because im a pussy sad emoji. i swear,, someone else is gonna have to bring it to his attention like, you’ve been together for how long..? why not just make it official and he just :L fuck you’re right

Who is the best man/men? - I’m gonna keep it real with you chief, we would probably just get the papers signed and have a small get together to celebrate. but if anyone,, its Trish or Nero

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - it’ll probably be my friend who i shall not tag bc she doesnt know about this account (she also self ships but sometimes,, i need privacy dsfghk) also Lady bc ilh 

Who did the most planning? - probably me but also Lady and Trish, please,, help

Who stressed the most? - surprisingly dante, like “is this a good idea bc um, i’m kinda prone to getting into dangerous situations” like yeah jackass i know 

How fancy was the ceremony? - ^^^ its not at all fancy. it’s intimate and to the point. We’d share our vows as in he pulls it out of his ass but its still sweet and genuine. He just doesn’t do hand written speeches.Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - um if Vergil didnt chill out,, him. But also Dante still loves and cares about him so,

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - hopefully none bc,, yikes

How many children will they adopt? - i will literally,, pick up every sad child on the street. Nero and Patty,, you are my kids now.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Me

Who is the stricter parent? - ME

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - both, Dante kinda laughs it off but I’m sweating bullets every time they run

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Me

Who is the more loved parent? - hnn both?

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Mostly me,bc I,, look normal, buts also both of us bc good cop bad cop dynamic. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dante 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Dante walks in and is like *disappointed but smug dad look* “don’t pull a me, your mom’s gonna be SO pissed.”

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Me; he’s not allowed in the kitchen unless someones in there with him

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Me I guess, Dante would just eat, anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? - both, it’s a nice change of pace + domestic, if he goes alone he will forget the list and come home with items we didn’t need

How often do they bake desserts? - not too often, its usually a binge thing like wow this month we were just really into it.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - meat!

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Dante? 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Dante

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - DANTE

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Me

Who is really against chores? - Dante, like he’ll do it but I’d usually have to ask

Who cleans up after the pets? - Dante

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Dante

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - ME 100%

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Patty or Lady, thanks

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Me? 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - both bc its cute and domestic 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - I get festive in July but i dont like decorating or taking decorations down, so its been Christmas for 4 years

What are their goals for the relationship? - wow um, just be understanding of each other idk also have a kickass time

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - BOTH

Who plays the most pranks? - Dante; if it’s directed towards me he just puts stuff higher on the shelf

UM BIG NOT FOR WORK (⸝⸝⸝ª̷̛იॢª̷̛⸝⸝⸝)ᵒʰ┈

Sex:

Who is on top? - HA bitch- D a n t e. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - Dante; the only time i would ever do this is if i built up that confidence, but I joke about it a lot

How healthy is their sex life? -  um,, down to clown 24/7 alright Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 rip | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Dante has a LOT of stamina, ngl he could go all night, so after a few rounds I’d tap out or until i pass out zzz gn

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - I would try my fucking best,, but the bitch has so much stamina so unfortunately,, It’s not equal but Dante just go for it just get it. But I won’t leave a bitch hanging fuck that.

How rough are they in bed? - i guess it depends on the moodSofter than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - the best part??No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

[soreiya]

Art ask game: 7, 13 and 17

Thanks so much for the ask. <3

7. Show us a WIP

Let’s go into a bit of backstory before I show the WiP. What most people don’t know is that I received a death threat from someone in the Vat7K fandom. It kind of opened my eyes a bit. After that point I started noticing all of the little things. Not just about the fandom, but the concept itself. There are plot holes and things that made no sense on further inspection. Though to get back on point, one of the main issues is actually fandom related. I've found that certain HC’s are frowned upon because they go against some of the big stereotypes that are heavily enforced by the fandom. I guess I became rather rebellious because of this and decided to draw a tall Varian for a DTiYS. I just got so tired of this weird oppression? Never seen such a thing in any other fandom. o__O; I don't even have anything against short Varian, but the more I get told that drawing him tall is somehow wrong, the more I have to do it. Because there is no canon for adult Varian and people need to calm their shit and stop telling others what they can and can not do. LMFAO There are a lot of errors to correct, but it's the only recent WiP that I have. ;__;

13. How long do you usually take on a piece?

Between a 1hr – 10+ years? LMFAO I’m just joking since I never finish anything.

Simpler stuff probably takes 1-3 hours.

More complex stuff I can’t really say for certain. Since I take breaks. Like there was one oekaki painting that I did back in 2005 that I worked on and off on for an entire week. Though I also spent a long time playing Sonic Adventure during the process. Hahahaha

Maybe once I have more confidence in my abilities I’ll use a timer app on the PC.

17. What do you love getting compliments about?

I actually feel awkward and undeserving of compliments. I’ve got a pretty low self image. I probably could use some advice on how to improve on this. x___X I remember recently @heatherthetiredwriter from the Of Rocks and Robots Discord server complimented my coloring on the AI comic and it made me cry. Though with group projects like that I’d rather not take the focus. Since a lot of work goes on throughout the process. Things wouldn’t come together as a whole if it was solely up to me. So I don't really know how to respond. It did feel nice though since that took such a long time to get done.

Hnn...

I’ve legit just sat here for a wile trying to really think about this question. I’ve come to the conclusion that my fave compliments come from when I’m doing something like practicing and I am genuinely struggling to learn? Like I’ll be expecting criticism on some anatomy and then someone will point out something that was done better than usual? It makes me feel like maybe I really can improve?

[docjamie]

oh damn its an a-z meme

Tagged by @mypoorfaves and @crinklednose. You guys are the best! (EDIT: also tagged by @nnatto, i apologize deeply)

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

a - age: 20

b - birthplace: The good ol’ south carolina of the good ol’ united states. You know, where its legal to marry your cousin. :) :) :)

c - current time: 1:28 AM cause I’m a nocturnal motherfucker

d - drink you last had: sweet tea (can you tell i’m southern)

e - easiest person to talk to: Oh man, everyone is nice, I’m the one that’s anti-social, lol

f - *current* favourite song: Serious by the Neighbourhood and FOOLS by Troye Sivan

g - grossest memory: Its fucking story time because I am randomly haunted by this memory. So I’m in 2nd grade and we’re waiting on the teacher to get to the classroom. This girl, her name was Princess, she had a chocolate milk carton from breakfast and it was almost empty. And then this bitch hocks up like this ball of sinful phlegm and spits it into her milk carton and PROCEEDS TO DRINK THE FRESHLY LOOGIED CHOCOLATE MILK. I randomly remember that memory vividly and I think I’m still shooketh from that unholy raunchiness.

h - horror yes or horror no: I honestly like them if I’m with friends!

i - in love?: No but I kinda wish. Seems like it would be nice.

j - jealous of people?: Hnn, I can’t even lie to myself. I do sometimes get envious of other people’s art and writing because I don’t think I have much of a skill set anywhere, so I can get really insecure about my art and writing sometimes.

l - love at first sight or should i walk by again?: I don’t know if there’s such thing as “love at first sight”. Its not the first glance that keeps my attention, its the genuine commitment and partnership that makes love

m - middle name: Amber

n - number of siblings: One. (Technically 2, but that’s another story)

o - one wish: You know I don’t care if I sound preachy, but I wish people minded their own business sometimes, you know? Its 2018. People are gay. People aren’t their assigned gender at birth. Women get abortions. Christianity isn’t the only religion in the world. Its not hurting you is someone in a different state got married to their same-sex partner Karen so stop clutching your pearls.

p - person you called last: My mama!

q - question you are always (often) asked: “are you okay?” by everyone. Its either a joke or sincere, lmao

r - reason to smile: I’m working on what I want to do in life, I have a family that loves me and close friends. I’d say things are pretty good right now!

s - song you sang last: Will He by Joji

t - time you woke up: My alarm is set for 8:15 AM, but I didn’t get out of my bed until 9:20.

u - underwear colour: Fancy paisley print

v - vacation destination: Canada or Japan (I think they’re a taaad sick of Americans though)

w - worst habit: I uh...might have a bit of a self-mutilation problem? DON’T BE CONCERNED, its just I pick at my skin to the point of bleeding a lot. I’m trying to break it.

x - x-rays: Of course there are the dental ones, but one time I really hurt my shoulder and had to get an x-ray for that. I also got an x-ray for my feet, but it turned out to be a muscle issue, not bone related

y - your favourite food: either mac and cheese or sushi.

z - zodiac sign: I’m one of those bitches that use cusps, but I’m sorry, there’s no way my social anxiety ridden ass is a full Leo. (leo/virgo cusp)