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callistolivia · 2 years

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Who I am to You – Synastry 101, Part 1

I had to divide this post into parts seeing that it was becoming quite lengthy. Part 1 covers interchanges to the generational planets in synastry.

[Preface]

I’ve been recently thinking a lot about synastry after listening to an anthropologist talk about love and the cultural statistics around relationships. It just sort of peaked my interest in astrology again and the complexity of synastry; how we are kind of one big organism or machine, with all of these gears that interlock with each other; all the people in our lives serve a purpose of being there in a particular moment. How we happen to pass by some people and experience a love at first sight with others. How we happen upon our family; how the people who we consider coworkers or colleagues end up in the same place as us; How we operate generationally and systematically. The gears always turning and changing within this magical makeup of our reality. Relationships are really fascinating, especially if you believe and indulge in astrology.

I also re-read Linda Goodman’s Relationship Signs, and while she draws from somewhat of a overtly spiritual bias (lots of soulmate this– karma that–), she provides both an expert analysis of synastry (having done synastry for many many people, gathering statistics) and an optimistic, magical perspective on relationships that would make one feel as though there is some sort of cosmic significance to their own relationships. Her book is inspiring and being a hopeless romantic myself, I can’t help but enjoy the spiritual bias around romance and relationships in general.

I figured since I’m doing the research anyway, I might as well attempt to make a comprehensive post on synastry for this dead blog. I also think this topic tends to be what peaks people’s interest the most in astrology.

Generational Planets – Uranus, Neptune, Pluto

I’ve decided it makes more sense to work backwards; before exploring the dynamics of personal relationships, understanding how people function as groups or generations provides a grander perspective on synastry. I think the casual astrology enjoy-er tends to get wrapped up in the mystic of these planets in both their natal chart and in synastry interchanges. We are drawn to these planets, especially when we locate significance in a chart, because they symbolize a collective experience and understanding. There is something paradoxical about the relatability and understanding felt towards the impersonal planets. For those of you who are unaware, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto are considered generational planets because of their long cycles. Uranus takes 84 years to cycle through all of the signs, approx. 7 years in one sign; Neptune takes 165 years to cycle through all of the signs, approx. 14 years in one sign; Pluto takes 248 to cycle through all of the signs, approx. 12-31 years in one sign. The length spent in one sign is a stark difference to the amount of time it takes for the Sun or Moon to transit a sign, thus these three planets impact one on a generational level. Uranus represents social climate, environment, and advancement in technology. Neptune is seen as a cultural representative as well as a passive form of social climate; the quiet tide of acceptance in contrast to Uranus which chaotically brings issues to light and demands justice. Pluto is the inward and intrinstical generational planet; representing generational trauma and grief, collective attitudes and needs of a group, the depth of collective experience; a soul grouping. It is very evident that there are powerful interchanges taking place between generations of people (e.g. Millennials vs Gen Z, Gen Z vs Baby Boomers, etc.) which astrology provides insight to. Your parents or grandparents don’t quite “get you” and you don’t need astrology to tell you that, but astrology can! Which is a fascinating little thing!

Interchanges between generational planets

The distance between two generations will roughly create the one-sign-apart semi-sextile aspect; an example being the relationship between Millennials and Gen Zs and these two groups’ semi-sextile nature. Within a semi-sextile in synastry, there is a tendency for the sign ahead to not see the sign behind. There are a lot of similarities between these two generations in that they blend like a brush stroke. However, we also see Gen Z discovering “new” things and pioneering trends meanwhile Millennials sitting back saying to themselves, “been there, done that, actually.” The distance between Gen Z and Gen X is roughly that of a sextile, a harmonious aspect. An example of the relationship these two generations share is the very apparent recycling of arts and culture. Gen X, having the opportunity to be a teen in the 90′s birthed some of the most influential arts and media we have today; that 90′s culture is deeply appreciated and repurposed by Gen Z. If we expand even further, the distance between Gen Z and Gen V (the generation notorious for being called “boomers” but aren’t technically baby boomers... Again, we can take into account the brush stroke semi-sextile between actual boomers and Gen V) is roughly a square aspect. There is an inherent natural strife between this older generation and Gen Z; differing world views, the inability to see each other’s perspective, and a general misunderstanding for one another. Similarly, we can also take note of the square between the actual boomer generation and millennials. The strife between Pluto in Leo and Pluto in Scorpio is that of who deserves power and say? Who should be making the choices for society’s future? I could go on and on about the relationship dynamics between generations, but the main takeaway is to observe the relationships generational planets provide on a very broad level. It’s very likely one will inherently understand the generation they are in (ignoring other natal chart factors, of course) because of a conjunction occurring between Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto. In synastry, when this conjunction occurs, two individuals relate to each other on a cultural, societal, memetic, and systematic level; two individuals on the same timeline, in the same soul-grouping.

Interchanges between generational planets and personal planets

While interchanges between generational planets provide broad, impersonal significance in synastry, we can see personal significance when a generational planet interacts with a personal planet. In synastry, we can look at this as the chart holder with the generational planet being seen as someone who directly relates and signifies to the cultural, environmental, political, and metaphysical experiences of the chart holder with the personal planet. Personal planets can give remarkable power to the otherwise unconscious and invisible planets, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Sun The circumstances in which these two individuals meet will likely be unconventional. Additionally, the relationship itself will likely be unconventional and unexpected. The intensity of a conjunction can make for both positive and negative outcomes, though the “negative outcomes” do not reign anything close to the negative affects of the malefic planets, Mars and Saturn. At most, these two individuals may find themselves unexpectedly separated for periods of time; or that the chaos of Uranus is somewhat of a liability in their relationship (particularly so if the Uranus person embodies somewhat of a chaotic, radical archetype in their overall personality). In positive outcomes, which includes trine and sextile interchanges, there may be a revolutionizing quality to the relationship. If we consider the Sun symbolizing the self, then we may conclude this encapsulates all of the individual’s quirks and facets, including potential hardships brought on just by their very being or walk of life. The revolutionizing quality of Uranus may bring aid to the Sun, especially if the Sun individual faces particular injustices in their life. Uranus is radical, innovative, and ingenious; being the higher octave of Mercury, it problem solves and advocates for the needs of the Sun individual. The Sun individual will likely find themselves doing things they wouldn’t normally do or think of thanks to the Uranus individual. Both individuals boost each other’s confidence; there is a sense of feeling comfortable in one’s own skin and embracing one’s quirky side. The positive interchanges remark platonic harmony and a relationship with substance. In the negative interchanges, such as a square or opposing aspect, the relationship could be described as erratic and conflictual. There may be differing political and world views; the Sun individual too arrogant and stubborn and the Uranus individual too radical and unforgiving. Arguments tend to be explosive, especially if Mars is also somehow involved, and particularly ego-damaging. There needs to be forgiving aspects elsewhere to undo emotional bruising.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Moon Likewise with the Uranus-Sun interchanges, the circumstances in which these two individuals meet will likely be unconventional and unexpected. The conjunction can bring about tension as these two planets function very differently from each other. Uranus being such an erratic force, it can provoke and trigger the Moon which can cause emotional meltdowns in the relationship. This can be similarly observed with the square and opposition as well. Without other promising aspects in the synastry chart, there will be a proneness to breakups and physical separations. Despite the emotional chaos, there is an unwavering draw to each other, particularly the Moon individual being drawn in by the Uranus individual’s intellect, uniqueness, and/or rebelliousness. The trine and sextile interchanges are much more forgiving and are actually constructive. The relationship sparks inspiration which can lead to trying lots of new things both individuals wouldn’t have done otherwise. If the Uranus individual embodies much of the attitudes and direction that Uranus represents, then a relationship with the Moon individual can shine light on an empathetic and introspective approach to their goals, especially if their goals involve politics, environment, or any field that impacts the world. Similar to the Uranus-Sun interchanges, the positive interchanges remark platonic harmony and a relationship with substance to it. With this aspect, a friendship tends to take precedence over a romantic relationship; within a romantic relationship the two people retain a strong best friend dynamic. As with all Uranus contacts, aspects between these two planets definitely add quirkiness to the relationship.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Mercury With the conjunction, trine, or sextile, these two individuals are transported to a completely different plane of being when they interact. The depths of their conversations leave people to believe they are witnessing two aliens talking to each other. Conversations feel exhilarating to both individuals, they feel smarter around each other. These aspects are particularly beneficial if the relationship is a business one or if the two individuals are colleagues. Together they have unmatched creativity and ingeniousness that can be utilized for projects, inventions, and movements. Additionally, there is something about the positive contacts that gives this pair reach to broad audiences. This is particularly true if there are social house involved in the overlays. We can expect these two people to have a rapidly growing social group when they become acquainted. In the negative aspects, square and opposition, we see what two people with two different sets of quirks interact. Both individuals will be outspoken about their beliefs to one another and somehow topics that are prone to being heated are reoccurring. The Uranus individual is much too serious and radical whereas the Mercury individual is much too light-hearted and trivial; at least, this is how these two perceive each other. If there are other positive aspects in the synastry chart, these interchanges aren’t particularly damning to the relationship. Patience and acceptance goes a long way in dealing with the square and opposition.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Venus With the conjunction, trine, or sextile, there is a magnetizing, strange attraction between these two individuals. The Venus individual would likely describe their attraction as unusual or unexpected; there is something about the Uranus individual that doesn’t appear as the Venus individual’s usual “type.” The Venus individual finds the charm, intellect, weirdness, and quirks of the Uranus individual irresistible. The benefits for the Uranus individual is that they don’t really need to “try” or do anything to seduce the Venus individual. They are liked simply for who they are entirely and candidly. Romance aside, the positive interchanges are also beneficial platonically and even in romantic relationships, the individuals retain a very friend-like dynamic. This combination can operate well as a creative duo; any projects worked on together won’t be anything less of avant-garde. Additionally, with the conjunction, there may be a tendency for the Venus individual to have bouts of insecurity about the relationship. There’s a slight inherent coldness from Uranus that makes the individual too cool as a cucumber for the Venus individual. With positive interchanges elsewhere, these anxieties can be easily outweighed or remedied. However, with the square or opposition, there is less ease. The Venus individual will consistently feel as though there isn’t enough romance coming from the Uranus individual; a romantic relationship may feel like it’s lacking intimacy and warmth without good synastry elsewhere in the chart. Similar to Uranus-Sun interchanges, there may be a proneness to sudden separations. In all Uranus-Venus contacts, intimacy and love takes an unconventional form. For people looking for experimentation, challenge, and excitement, having an aspect between Uranus and Venus in synastry will give just that.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Mars Interchanges between Uranus and Mars is best described as a loaded trigger. Both planets offer immense direction and power ripping at the seams; and when they come together, they trigger each other’s chaos. With the conjunction, we see this chaos’ full potential. We might find an anarchistic duo from the radicalizing Uranus and the action-oriented Mars. In a positive light, the conjunction makes these two individuals unstoppable towards whatever shared ambition they might have. However on the flip side, the intensity of the conjunction can also reap a negative affect where two individuals reach a boiling point and turn on each other. We can definitely expect the former outcome if the two individuals work in the same field and likely have the same goals in mind. With the trine and sextile, we can also find this unmatched ambition when these two individuals come together. These aspects are fantastic for colleagues, business partners, freedom fighters, and even lovers! The spasmodic energy of Uranus harmoniously interacting with the Martian planet makes for great sexual tension; you can especially expect some friskiness if there is a 5th house overlay involved. Mars can also draw out the experimental side of Uranus which is sure to provide excitement to those looking for an un-ordinary, non-vanilla relationship. Although the house overlays involved with these two planets will provide more insight to this, it is worth noting the social and generational themes Mars will activate in Uranus. There’s definitely a direct correlation to politics, science, environment, technology, and activism when these two planets interact. It wouldn’t be surprising to see these two individuals dismantling the patriarchy or fighting climate chaos together! With the square and opposition, tensions are high between these two planets. If you’ve ever met someone who just don’t get, don’t understand why they do the things they do, or get irritated by their mere presence, these aspects could be why! These two planets can just irritate the absolute heck out of each other. These aspects are particularly problematic if these individuals are involved with each other in the realm of politics, current events, and social issues. There can be a refusal to understand one another because of drastically different viewpoints. In personal or romantic relations, this aspect can be looked at as an enemies-to-lovers sort of configuration. The sexual tension is also not lacking in the negative aspects, so there may be a plus there.

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Jupiter Interchanges between Uranus and Jupiter aren’t quite felt on a personal level as Jupiter is one of two social planets. Similar to the Uranus-Mars interchanges, the social and generational themes come to surface with aspects between Uranus and Jupiter. Jupiter being a benefic planet, aspects to Uranus denote justice, inspiration, harmony, and spirituality. Jupiter acts as a supplier to Uranus’ cause; a philanthropist to an organization, metaphorically speaking. The conjunction, trine, and sextile are particularly beneficial. You really can’t have too many of the Jupiter individuals in your life if you’re the Uranus individual as these are the people who will always see your vision and possibly even fund it!

One’s Uranus aspecting another’s Saturn Similar to Uranus-Jupiter interchanges, aspects between Uranus and Saturn are not felt on a personal level. Aspects between these two planets will play into the social and generational themes of Uranus. However, in contrast to Jupiter, Saturn is a malefic planet and may reap difficulty in the worldviews and social needs of these two individuals. With positive aspects such as the trine or sextile, the interchanges between Saturn and Uranus simply represent the past mirroring the future. There is a willingness to commit to change on Saturn’s part for the benefit of Uranus’ future. What is thought to be necessary for the betterment of humankind is more likely to align more-so with the positive interchanges. However, in the harsher aspects such as the conjunction, square, or opposition, there is a discomfort with each other’s generational needs. The Saturn individual might subconsciously perceive any of Uranus’ drastic or radical approaches to things to be immature and hasty. The energies between Uranus and Saturn are not something felt on daily basis nor do they normally wreak havoc in a relationship anyway, however when their conflict does present itself to a relationship, the remedy is simply patience and hearing each other out.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Sun With the conjunction, trine, or sextile, there is something hypnotizing, dreamy, and nostalgic about the relationship. This is one of the interchanges in synastry that Linda Goodman considers “karmic.” She mentions a strong psychic connection, particularly with the conjunction. In a more technical sense, I believe that with the positive contacts, trine and sextile, as well as the conjunction, what is being ignited in the pair (especially for the Sun individual) is a reflection of their past (a hyper-romanticized version of it, that is), as well as a personification of their interests. By interests, I mean interests that were cultivated by their generation of media and culture particularly. This could be why we are so mystified and hypnotized by people whose Neptune makes significant interchanges to our birth chart. Neptune being a higher octave of Venus, it casts a charm over a person to make them appear as someone’s favourite song or favourite piece of media, but as a walking, breathing, existing version of it. So of course, if you meet someone who reminds you of your favourite song, they will undoubtedly seem special, significant, or fateful. Wow-factor aside, there can be a negative side to Neptune interchanges, even in positive aspects, and especially with the conjunction. That is a tendency to idealize. With Sun-Neptune interchanges in synastry, one or both people may have a totally inaccurate perception of the other person because of this idolization. With the negative aspects, square and opposition, there are two possible outcomes that tend to occur in synastry. First outcome being the Neptune individual is totally out of the Sun individual’s reach. If this is one the strongest aspects in your synastry chart, you can expect the Neptune person to be extremely elusive to the Sun individual. Linda Goodman also mentions issues around deception and infidelity with this pair in her book. The second outcome is that the Neptune individual is very much involved in the Sun individual’s life, to the point where Neptune completely consumes the Sun with its venomous charm. There can be themes of dependency, substance use, and the sort of “pulling” into one’s hell. The former outcome is much more common with people who have a very strong Sun presence in their chart; the latter is common with individuals who do not have a strong sense of self.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Moon Most of what can be said about interchanges between the Sun and Neptune can also be applied here. However, the difference here is a larger focus on each other’s emotional realm, and you could consider these aspects less superficial and less about idolization. With the conjunction, trine, or sextile, there is a connection between these two individuals that transcends any ordinary relationship. Again, we see these two pulled in together by possibly a similar taste in music, similar upbringing, familiar culture, etc., but in addition to that there can be spiritual alignment too. The spiritual and emotional swimming and meshing is a definite plus for romantic relationships. However Neptune can trigger a lot of sensitivity in the relationship when in contact with another’s Moon. With the conjunction, there is an over-exaggeration especially. While things can seem very beautiful in the relationship and bring about many tears of joy, there can also be tendency to fall into a pit of despair and emotional exhaustion. It’s important for both individuals to find other outlets for their intense feelings other than dependently funnelling it into their partner. Artistic, spiritual, and clinical outlets tend to do the job. Similarly in negative aspects, square and opposition, there is acute emotional sensitivity triggered. This pair is easily hurt by each other and there is a tendency for misunderstandings thanks to Neptune’s proneness to obscuring clarity. If there isn’t enough good synastry between two individuals, the negative aspects can be somewhat of a red flag for close relationships. Neptune harshly having that stand-offish grip on the Moon leads to all sorts of trouble with disintegrating emotional reality. There may be themes of emotional manipulation (not in the vain of control, but rather a defence mechanism), bad habits, and deception. With this all said, there is nothing therapy can’t aid!

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Mercury In the conjunction, trine, or sextile, this interchange is an incredible source of creativity and muse. The Mercury individual makes the Neptune individual’s creative subconscious tangible. This is a great aspect to have in a synastry chart if the relationship is a creative one (e.i. musicians, writers, artists, or creative colleagues of any sort). Together, a pair like this can produce some very intellectual and sensitive pieces of work. In addition to this, in the positive aspects, this pair will find themselves inspired by each other. The connection ignites poetry, colour, and music. According to Linda Goodman, the positive interchanges are an indicator of a “psychic” connection in synastry as well. In the negative interchanges, square or opposition, we can see a sort of lost-in-translation affect. Accidental misunderstandings, deception, secrets, and mind games are the themes of these interchanges! These aspects are particularly annoying in business relationships; neither person is being clear, project delays, intentionally leaving out information in business emails, and so on. It may be a little bit easier to speak up on the issues Mercury-Neptune squares and oppositions bring about if the person you’re dealing with isn’t your boss. In intimate relationships, this pair will find their bond grow closer once they stop keeping secrets from one another and lay everything on the table.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Venus The interchanges between Neptune and Venus reminds us just how important Venus is to one’s personality and to relationships (of any kind; platonic, romantic, with nature, with humankind, etc.). Venus interacting with its supposed higher octave is so potent and telling of oneself; the conditions of Venus is important to its interpretation here. In a conjunction, attraction is often instantaneous and hypnotizing; these two people will be immediately pulled into each other’s world when they meet. There is also the outcome of mistaking deep empathy for love; compassion and obsession is somewhat of a troubling combination. The Venus individual, obviously depending on the conditions of their natal Venus, may have that easily moved, compassionate, and sympathetic personality; the type of personality that attracts the types of people seeking refuge. The Neptune person, either consciously or subconsciously will seek out the Venus individual and immediately become obsessed with their forgiveness and dependability. There can obviously be some level of toxicity in that the Venus person sticks around out of guilt and is somewhat of an enabler for the Neptune individual’s troubles. Outside of this negative outcome, there are positive outcomes with the conjunction as well and we can include the trine and sextile aspect along side with these outcomes as well. Romantically, this could potentially be a hedonistic match made in heaven (as long as the rose-coloured glasses stay on). This pair is deeply romantic, spiritual, and creative. The positive aspects evoke a relationship that does not lack colour; this is a pair that wants the cultural perception of romance which alludes to the whole shebang (extravagant dates, writing love notes, movie nights, sharing headphones, sentimental gifts, flowers, watching sunsets, and just about every romantic trope you can think of). The positive interchanges also indicate creative collaboration and similar to the Neptune-Mercury interchanges, these aspects would be beneficial to creative relationships. Both individuals have a lot to offer each other in terms of creativity. In the negative aspects, square or opposition, the mutual draw towards each other in a hedonistic fashion is still prominent, however there is a forbidden or confusing quality to these aspects. There’s a chance this pair, if romantically interested in each other, will never fully admit to their romantic feelings for one another, especially if there is nothing keeping this relationship from drifting apart. There is a tendency for one or both people to hide things from each other in general. Similar to the conjunction, if the Venus individual is a compassionate type, they should be cautious with those who’s Neptune opposites their Venus. Particularly with the opposition version of this, the Neptune individual may attempt to pull the Venus individual into their gloomy fog. In the negative aspects, this pair is susceptible to enabling each other’s guilty pleasures. Extra caution should be addressed if either people have an addictive personality or happen to have met at a rehabilitation centre.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Mars With the conjunction, this aspect in synastry is particularly beneficial in creative and business relationships (particularly work that is ruled by Mars, Neptune, or both). The combination of these two planets together is ambition soup. This pair is bound to make music, cinematic masterpieces, life-saving medicine and devices, or lead the free world. The Mars individual has the will, drive, and connections and the Neptune individual has the vision and deep understanding for what the world loves and needs. On the flip-side, there is a negative outcome with the conjunction (the square and opposition can be included here as well), particularly with closer relationships, that should be cautioned. Similar to the Venus-Neptune interchanges, there is susceptibility to bad indulgences. This pair should be extra wary if either have an addictive personality or a history with rehabilitation. This pair should also, just in general, avoid vices and substances as a means of inspiration. In addition to this, this pair should also take caution with radical groups, especially radical groups dealing with spirituality (phew, lots of precautions). With the trine and sextile, they too are beneficial for creative and business relationships. The difference between these aspects and the conjunction is that these aspects are a lot gentler in more intimate relationships and not likely to cause any sort of troubles. This leaves more room to bring that same beneficial energy seen in business and colleague relationships into intimate relationships. This pair will likely share a similar hobby, spiritual perspective, or effort/dedication to the world that they will undoubtedly be inspired to work on together. With the square and opposition, Mars is too harsh and triggers Neptune’s sensitivity and evasiveness. The Mars individual will likely find themselves disagreeing with the Neptune individual’s perception on spirituality, politics, culture, or the world in general. This disagreement can lead to aggressively prying at the Neptune individual to change resulting in the Neptune individual fleeting or withdrawing from the relationship.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Jupiter Interchanges between Neptune and Jupiter are not quite felt on a personal level as Jupiter is one of two social planets as discussed earlier with Uranus. Nevertheless, interchanges between these planets are still special, especially considering how deeply spiritual Neptune and Jupiter are. This combination is actually somewhat similar, spiritually speaking, as Venus-Jupiter interchanges if we consider Neptune being the supposed higher octave of Venus. In the positive aspects, conjunction, trine, and sextile, themes of spirituality will be very important in the relationship. With Jupiter’s expansive abilities, it excites the depths of Neptune. The relationship has a general feeling of goodness; there will be many moments where these two people feel absolutely mystified by each other or that they are very fortunate to have met each other. This euphoric connection sparks the desire to take chances. Jupiter wants to make the fantasies of Neptune a reality. This could look like a wide range of outcomes, but in essence, chances and opportunities that involve a lap of luxury, spiritual enlightenment, or euphoria are the dreams Jupiter wants to try and make a reality. The houses involved with these planets will indicate what kind of experiences will be created with this pair. Since Neptune encapsulates this sort of generational understanding of culture and social climate, this planet might be an area where an individual feels deep empathy or concern for the world. The Jupiter individual can aid these worries by showing the Neptune individual how to take action or change their perspective of the world. Once again, the houses involved with these planets will be telling of what these concerns are and how perspectives can be shifted. Along with the conjunction, the square and opposition (by mainly seen in the intensity of the conjunction or opposition) can trigger some over-indulgent tendencies. This pair should be wary of substance use, gambling, over consumption, and extreme belief systems making its way into the relationship. Neither planet has a good grip on reality or the consequences of careless actions; a strong Saturn influence in the relationship or in individual natal charts can aid these issues, particularly if the Jupiter-Neptune interchange is one of the more prominent aspects in the synastry chart.

One’s Neptune aspecting another’s Saturn Similar to interchanges to Jupiter, interchanges between Neptune and Saturn will not be felt on a very personal level as one is a generational planet and the other is a social planet. The most important thing to be noted about interchanges between these two planets is how different these two planets operate. One planet forgets and transcends reality, the other is stuck in reality. These two modes play an important role in their interpretation in synastry. The aspects between these planets will be of particular significance if either individual is Saturnian or Neptunian. In the positive interchanges, trine or sextile, the Saturn individual may benefit from the Neptune individual; Neptune can help Saturn with their rigidity, seriousness, disconnect from spirituality, and inability to step out of safety. On the other hand, Saturn can ground the Neptune individual and help them overcome irrational fears, disconnect from reality, and difficulties with direction. With the conjunction, there can be similar themes as the trine and sextile, however the conjunction’s intensity can match the challenges of the square and opposition. With the challenging aspects, these two planets differences represent a lesson in the synastry of two individuals. Again, the significance of these planets interactions are heavily dependent on whether either individual is Saturnian or Neptunian in nature, otherwise the challenges are vaguely a difference in beliefs. If either individual is Saturnian in nature, the challenging aspects remark being triggered by the Neptune individual’s beliefs, potential deceptiveness, and lack of regard/caution. Alternatively, if either individual fits the Neptunian profile, they may feel controlled, heavily critiqued, and limited by Saturn. If the challenging aspects propose a great theme in the synastry between two people, they will have to work on seeing each other’s perspectives otherwise this is very much an “agree to disagree” interaction.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Sun With the conjunction, there are two potential themes in synastry. One theme depends on how relevant Pluto is in an individual’s chart; one individual actually being quite Plutonian themselves will certainly experience this relationship differently than otherwise. In this instance, there can be fight for power in the relationship; the noble Solarian individual outshining the Plutonian individual; and the insurmountable Plutonian individual vanquishing the Solarian individual. This isn’t to say these two people couldn’t work together, they had just better have something in common that they can consider neutral territory. With their shared power, they can actually make great business partners. The second theme reads as more-so the general descriptor for Pluto conjunct the Sun, and the trine and sextile can also fall in line with this interpretation. Pluto interacting with another’s Sun positively can indicate a subconscious magnetism to each other. There is something about the Sun individual that sparks a slight obsession in the Pluto individual. If the Pluto individual is aware of this obsession and wants to pursue some sort of connection with the Sun individual, they will intricately weave their way into the Sun individual’s life until recognition is received. Given that the Pluto individual has likely carefully laid out their cards, the Sun individual will start to feel like there is something auspicious and significant about their connection. The mutual magnetism grows from there. Contacts between Pluto and personal planets are very commonly described by astrologers as karmic. This may or may not be the case, but it is important to note that Pluto is also commonly associated with past lives and things beyond our basic conception. Pluto-Sun interchanges does have credible significance in that powerful, unexplainable, and deep connections are formed when two people have these aspects in their synastry chart. With the square and opposition, the themes described with the conjunction and power struggles are also quite prevalent here. While these aspects don’t destroy a relationship, they are not without difficulties to overcome. The Pluto individual is often extremely envious of the Sun individual’s success at life. This almost completely blinds Pluto of their own potential, their own path in life, and just derails the idea that the universe has a different set of needs and experiences set out for Pluto. There is obviously a destructive outcome of a relationship like this where jealousy turns to hate. However, the saving grace in all of this is the humanity and love that can come from the Sun individual who sees Pluto. The Sun individual can illuminate Pluto’s strengths and their own path to success. They can even make a great team as long as Pluto doesn’t exhaust the aid from the Sun. There’s only so many times the Sun can say something like, “you and I are actually alike” before thinking Pluto refuses to help themselves.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Moon As mentioned in the Pluto-Sun interchanges, personal planets interacting with Pluto are time and time again described as a karmic connection. While this may or may not be true, to believe either is up to you, the significance in the connection is true. Pluto always brings about an unexplainable magnetism that adds magic to relationships. The Moon is quite concerned with the past and Pluto is concerned with the sort-of meta-past, thus synastry between these two planets bring about a sense of familiarity in a relationship; whether that is a good or bad familiarity. The Moon individual’s upbringing and childhood will be very telling on how this aspect will operate. With a rather rough or traumatic past, the Pluto individual could potentially reawaken those memories in the Moon individual. The intensity of the conjunction can see this being both a good and a bad thing. There is a potential for intense pain to be resolved and transformed as much as there is a potential for a scarred Moon person saying “hey, this relationship reminds me of a terrible part of my life and I can’t move past that.” The lessons that come from Moon-Pluto relationships are that of how much one really understands themselves emotionally; their traumas, boundaries, and relational schemas. They can be rather helpful to one’s growth. There is obvious ease with the positive interchanges, trine and sextile. With these aspects, the prying one does to the Moon individual’s past never crosses unforgivable territories. There can actually be a real, deep understanding for each other. In the negative interchanges, square and opposition, the Pluto individual might feel like they are walking on eggshells around the Moon individual. The Pluto individual reminds the Moon individual of someone in their past and there is a tendency to recreate that relationship to try and re-do things. Unless the Moon individual has a deep emotional understanding of themselves, this relationship will be prone to a very messy separation. It isn’t all on the Moon individual though, Pluto may have to work on their differentiation and kindness. Outside of intimate relationships, Pluto-Moon contacts can really put emotions into words, secrets into the light, and decode life’s intricacies when they work together. Possibly this is where the real magnetism for each other comes into play; these two will go to each other with an idea, or concept, or dream they had and give each other the perfect response. These two are always left thinking, “YOUR MIND!! ♡”

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Mercury While these two planets together do not say a lot about personal, emotional inner works of a relationship, they do work similarly to the Pluto-Moon aspects in that these two people just work well together mentally. Particularly with the conjunction, trine, or sextile, these two people will feel connected mentally and maybe even psychically. These two will have a lot to talk about; there is a never ending eagerness to expand on each other’s points. The Mercury individual will likely find the Pluto individual to have a very interesting, possibly even odd, way of understanding aspects of life. Pluto ignites an esoteric interest in Mercury thus the discussions these two will have will almost always lead to topics bigger than life. If these two happen to be coworkers or colleagues, they would make an incredible team at jobs that involve sleuthing or intense research. Additionally, a mentorship type relationship may form where the Mercury individual is drawn to the secrets and experience Pluto holds. In aspects square or opposition, these two people may be at odds with their perspective on life. Pluto symbolizes a deeper, emotional understanding in the relationships whereas Mercury symbolizes a realistic and logical perspective. There may be times where each individual’s valued perspective on life may be challenged by the other person. The lessons here would be that both individuals need to humble themselves around differing worldviews. Aside from heated arguments here and there, the negative aspects are not too challenging. These two people might even be drawn to each other for their differing mental and emotional skill sets.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Venus According to Linda Goodman’s book, Pluto-Venus contacts are karmic and may be a soul-mate indicator. As romantic as that sounds while you think about your hero in the dark or queen of the night, take “karmic” and “soul-mate” with a grain of salt! Especially if you’re the person with Pluto! Exploring Linda Goodman’s perspective on these aspects, a conjunction, trine, or sextile between two people remark intense magnetism towards each other. The force between each other may be so strong that they meet at the wrong place-wrong time, but given that these two have some soul-business to sort out, the time and place becomes right eventually. When these two meet for the first time, it is love at first sight; these two fit each other’s love map perfectly in a spiritual and emotional sense. The positive aspects remark commitment and connection. The intensity of the positive aspects described in Linda Goodman’s book would likely have to be supported by other major configurations in the synastry chart in order for it to be a true “soul-mate” indicator. Regardless, the infatuation is still prominent, especially for the Pluto individual. When another’s Venus activates one’s Pluto, the Pluto individual is absolutely hopeless for the Venus individual. This can trickle into obsessed territory (especially with the conjunction or tight orbs), so it would be wise for the Pluto individual to practice living in reality instead of seeing everything as a sign. Aside from the attraction side of Pluto-Venus contacts, in the positive contacts we can see a healing quality to this relationship. Especially if we consider the purpose of these planets and what they can do for each other when they come together. The thematics here deal with healing trauma, compassion, self love, and an exploration of spirituality and self. With the square or opposition, there is a similar magnetism as the other aspects, however much more difficulty and strife comes along with the square and opposition. The selfishness in Pluto is activated by the Venus individual. There may be upwellings of the past that Pluto brings into the relationship or the Pluto individual may be somewhat controlling or smothering. Other positive aspects in the synastry chart can negate Pluto’s power here. In all Pluto-Venus aspects, Pluto promises transformation in Venus. The two people involved with these aspects will learn a lot about themselves, relationships, and their values.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Mars The positive contacts between Pluto and Mars can be described by a few words, “great power.” With the conjunction, trine, or sextile in synastry, these two individuals would make great business partners. There is, of course, a great capacity for attraction as well and in that case, we can name this pair a power couple. The conjunction does have the potential to manifest itself in an unfavourable manner. If both individuals are considerably strong willed and in need of being in control, this relationship can reach a boiling point over who has say over matters (the houses involved may give insight to these “matters”). Arguments are explosive; Mars is relentless and Pluto is vengeful. A deep, mutual passion for one another is the only thing that will keep this relationship from falling apart if there isn’t any other favourable aspects in the synastry chart. Time spent away from each other can also cool things off when things get too heated. The opposition is similar to the intensity of the conjunction. In conflict, these two will need to compromise for each other. Both people can’t be right or in control 100% of the time– both individuals need to take a step down from time to time to allow the other person to have matters their way. Emphasis on BOTH. The square could potentially be the most difficult Pluto-Mars contact as there isn’t much seeing eye-to-eye to share a business or be a power couple. There also isn’t much room for meeting each other halfway. Both individuals are gonna have matters their way and the other person will just have to deal with it! It would be wise for these two to avoid provoking arguments.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Jupiter As mentioned with the other two generational planets, interchanges between Pluto and Jupiter are not felt significantly on a personal level. There is however little noticeable nuances and symbolism that can be picked up. There is also a bit of a social commentary, something on a grander scope, that can be said about the relationship when these two planets interact. With the conjunction, trine, or sextile, the Jupiter person augments the spiritual side of the Pluto individual. Jupiter really brings the curiosity and weird out of Pluto; these two will find themselves delving into the unknown more often than prior to meeting. Fiery planets, such as Jupiter, interacting with Pluto are always good for business matters. These two would make great business partners with Jupiter’s celebrity-like qualities and Pluto’s insatiable desire to be CEO of something big. The way in which these two people are associated with each other could be for reasons connected to a larger social matter; perhaps these two met through politics, or a protest, or even just a philosophy class! Wherever it was they met, it was as big as a network and depthless in human importance. The square and opposition are not the worst synastry aspects in the world thanks to the benevolent nature of Jupiter’s touch. There may be spiritual and moral disagreements between these two individuals; the reason for their differences will take root in the houses associated with these planets.

One’s Pluto aspecting another’s Saturn As mentioned before, the combination of a generational planet and Saturn isn’t always felt on a personal level as these are not considerably personal planets. However, there is a strange energy to this combination, two lord-like planets interacting with each other. Especially if Saturn is a chart ruler. With the conjunction in particular, both planets potency oh-so-strategically prys open each other’s secrets, shortcomings, and traumas. The conjunction’s intensity can swing both ways where this can be good or bad, depending on the rest of the synastry chart. The square and opposition lean more-so towards “bad.” It doesn’t help if these two people come from different socioeconomic or cultural backgrounds as there is a fight as to who’s hardships were worse. With this all said, Pluto-Saturn interactions in general tend to go unnoticed. One good Venus interaction and you won’t even be thinking about Pluto and Saturn. The trine and sextile are as equally strange (feeling/energy wise) as the conjunction, however it is important to note that these aspects can make two individuals good business partners. Both powerful planets in business, these two people will be making executive decisions together and expanding their brand’s empire. Oh, and these two are likely going to be in each other’s lives for a long time!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ:* Stay tuned (patiently...) for part two! In the next part I will go over the personal planets in synastry.

#astrology #synastry #generational planets #uranus #neptune #pluto #im not checking spelling errors or any of that #so bear with me lol this was a long one #took months

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 3 years

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BTS and Shipping Culture Part 2

Since I posted the first part of BTS and shipping culture, I have talked about this in numerous occasions and further explained some of my views through the asks I received. But after having a very interesting talk with some friends, I decided to add some of my thoughts in what is the second part where I want to focus on how several ship dynamics have remained unchanged throughout the years and why this particular aspect is very much related to fantasy.

Another thing that prompted me to dig a little deeper were the 3 concerts in Seoul, in particular the few interactions between Yoongi and Jimin which can be classified as shipping material. When it comes to Yoonmin, they're seen as the everlasting bickering couple. They get on each other's nerves, but they also flirt while being playful with each other. We've seen them trying to reach towards each other's hands, while separated in different carts, with a Jimin that on the last day refused to play the game, looking a lot like a cat who likes to cause trouble. And there was another part when Yoongi got close to Jimin, slightly pushing him while Jimin acted like he didn't want to take part in it. Classic Yoonmin behavior. But this behavior, or at least how it's interpreted and categorized by shippers, has been constant for years, despite the fact that both Jimin and Yoongi are not the same as when they were in their early 20s, they aged and the way people act towards their friends/coworkers is automatically influenced by that. The Yoonmin dynamic has been established years ago and hasn't really changed in the shipping eyes at all. The pair is stuck in this box that brings satisfaction to their shippers because they love to see that and this is nothing but a clear evidence that it's all just fantasy, as it ignores the development and growth of them as real people. Looking at it through a more realistic lens it's not that entertaining. And that's a crucial aspect, as shipping is an entertainment practice. Nothing wrong with that, as we're talking here about a segment of pop culture which should be fun.

If we look at other ships within BTS, we can see the same mechanism at play. A lot of them can be found across the entire K-Pop spectrum while some of them are specific to a certain group, but nonetheless established very clearly, almost from the early stages. Namkook is a ship that works perfectly for a large audience that doesn't necessarily need to take it seriously, but the dynamic is easily recognizable, as it's also something often portrayed in media as well, which is the mentor-mentee dynamic. Namkook is an interesting case because it has remained almost the same, a constant not just through the eyes of the shippers, but also because Jungkook himself has had a big part in making sure that his relationship with Namjoon is seen in a certain way. The reason why he decided to join Big Hit, his reaction to Namjoon's thighs, are all stories which became part of the BTS lore, often repeated in interviews to this day, or the ''crush confession'' in Winter Package. Before I move on to other ships, I want to be very clear here that I'm not saying that Jungkook is actively working with the company to create shipping content or that there's some manufactured plan. I don't want to be misinterpreted. When I say Jungkook has had a helping hand, I mean that when it comes to a music group, well established stories work very well, especially when they focus on positive influences and are somehow wholesome. Namkook is a very harmless ship, which is usually why it's so widely accepted by the entire fandom, a bond that can be a topic of discussion without anyone starting a ship war.

Another harmless ship would be Vmin, except here things are a bit more complex than Namkook. It's a ship that once again is widely accepted in the fandom and their dynamic has been pretty much the same. The same age friends who love each other very much, they're heavy on skinship, but due to their age, they can also have fights that are seen and talked about, which allowed us the fans see a more angry/petty side of Jimin because he can do that with his friend. Their dumpling incident has also became part of the BTS lore, ''canonized'' through the song ''Friends'' which, similar to the Namkook ship, has ended up in this form through the help of the men themselves. Jimin and Taehyung had ever since the beginning a certain type of close relationship that has remained constant through this day. Vmin are supposedly loved unanimously by the fandom because the dynamic has been the same and it's rarely questioned. No one, so to speak, has any problem with Vmin. I would say that Sope resembles Vmin more that Namkook because with Sope, Yoongi and Hobi also established their ship and are active participants, even if nowadays they're not that active as a ship. They use their ship name, they had a stage in which they sang together a trot song, and so on.

There are of course ships within BTS which either don't have much traction today as they had in the past, or they're not part of the ships that are seen romantic by the fandom in general, like each relationship that Hobi has with the Maknae line. The Hobi-Maknae line dynamic is one that is cherished by the fandom at large as Hobi acts with them as a hyung, but one who is more playful and close to the younger ones, stuck in the middle.

Jikook started with an established dynamic which offered shippers the perfect type of ship/fantasy material – the doting hyung and the maknae who is a brat that refuses him. It's very catchy and it worked well in the beginning, despite the fact that this specific dynamic has changed in the following years. But it hasn't gone away completely. Jikook shippers may write essays ''debunking'' or saying how this is not the case anymore, but that early Jikook dynamic is still used in certain parts of the fandom, in particular by other shippers who, interestingly enough, use that argument against the present ship dynamic, such as Jungkook doesn't like Jimin, Jungkook is uncomfortable. Which only proves my point, which is that shippers need well established narratives in order to not only make sense of their ship, but also other ships.

There are two ships in BTS which got out of the pre-established box of ship dynamics. Jikook, as I mentioned above, and Taekook. Both ships could have easily remained the same, as we've seen with other cases, but both ships developed throughout the years, albeit in very different ways. Of course there are residual elements that are part of the way in which shipping works in K-Pop, like the size difference, which is mostly an exaggeration, but in a lot of cases is used in the context of the more sexual aspects of the ship and in Jikook and Taekook's case, Jungkook is used in the same way in both ships. As for Taekook, their core, at least in the first years, was based on how Tae helped Jungkook get out of his shell, they became close friends and as both have mentioned before, they got scolded together a lot. Looking at BTS content, it's very clear that when Jungkook was a teenager, he acted quite childish in certain situations and Tae was the partner in crime. It's the Hyung-Maknae but who act as chingus, being goofy. There you have it, a perfect K-Pop ship dynamic that could have easily continued to be seen as that in the eyes of the shippers, just as we've seen with Yoonmin, despite the fact that both Taehyung and Jungkook have matured. Just as Yoonmin as a ship remained the same, regardless of the changes that occurred with the real people, Taekook could have taken the same path. Which really begs the question, why was the dynamic changed so much by their shippers, when they had a perfectly good ship on their hands? Why did it had to go from a harmless ship, just like most of the BTS ships, to one that is part of an entire theory in which Taekook are star crossed lovers, controlled by an evil company? The shippers went from a fun dynamic to one that is closer to a melodrama and it turned the Taekook ship into one that is no longer part of the usual fantasy ship, but a different type of fantasy.

Every ship has a base in reality, the members' personality and relationship with each other. But in order to make sense of someone's real life, a person who is still a stranger in relation to his audience who will always only reveal a few parts of himself, the shippers need to establish a baseline, consisting of a few elements that become the signature dynamic of that ship. It makes it easier to understand and not take it seriously too much. The only harmful part in this practice is that in this entire process, shippers often forget that relationships are never constant, be it of a friendship nature or a romantic one. Using well established tropes that have been there for years leads to not being able to observe the changes which can be interesting in their own way. It's definitely a more realistic approach, but who wants realism when you can have fantasy?

#bts #bts ships #bts shipping discourse #yoonmin #namkook #vmin #jikook #taekook

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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 3 years

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My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn’t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia’s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary discourse #vld #vld critical #keith kogane #keith vld #red paladin keith #klance #krolia #black paladin shiro #takashi shirogane #vld shiro #black lion #red lion #galra #galra keith #blade of marmora

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purgatoryandme · 4 years

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Hello! I've been going through your replies lately and have noticed that you have provided some life advice in your past replies. Wondering if you would be able to help me out on this one? You seem very level headed :) Me and my friend recently got into a argument about politics - he has been becoming very conservative lately and i am very liberal and queer. We got into a disagreement in Nov last year and haven't talked since. I miss him and am dying to talk to him again. Any Advice?

It’s easy to be level headed in text replies because I’m forced to read what I write as I’m writing it sksksk. I also get to be vague since I don’t ever really have details on people’s issues, which I think makes me sound wiser than I am. This situation is pretty relatable and tbh, I’m never really sure what’s a good answer for it having gone through it myself with family members and coworkers. There are times that politics are just politics (when they are just differences in perspectives towards life and governmental involvement in it that are mostly theoretical or philosophical or genuinely debatable topics like the benefits of one kind of spending over another). At times like these you can just...not talk about them if you’re non-confrontational by nature. Or agree that you are fundamentally different people who will never agree on this topic, which is my personal fave when people get really heated. Or you can argue, as long as arguing isn’t something that will totally fracture your friendship. People are different and I think there’s a growing movement in Western society that kindof...doesn’t accept that people have different experiences and no one has to necessarily be wrong in their views and that arguing can be a great way to learn and diversify. A lot of people take arguing as a simple “you think I’m wrong and evil” and...yeah. It doesn’t go so good. However, there are also times where someone’s politics become more than that - when they personally affect you or people around you in a tangible way that is rooted in ignorance (when something is demonstrably wrong) or hatred (something meant to hurt or eliminate a specific group for the benefit of another). In the scenario that this person’s politics are core values, things that they consider part of their identity, and they conflict with your own core values...I don’t think a close friendship will ever really work out. However, when you’re young you pick up lots of things and try them on. Sometimes those things are the political perspectives of your parents or peers. If this is just a phase for them, or if it’s been something you’ve been watching them slowly slide into through internet circles, there’s a chance for open and honest discussion about why their politics hurt you. There’s a chance that you can also be patient with this person and support their core values that align with your own as they figure this out for themselves. Since you still miss them, I’m assuming that this is less a core value conflict and more of a ‘they tried on hard conservatism and found it justified their biases or boosted their personal feelings of self worth, never considering how it paints people like you’, and so I’d suggest trying to contact them about how their politics made you feel in a way that avoids accusatory language (”When you say you think that people should be able to evoke their religious freedoms to deny people like me access to necessities, I feel as if you value a stranger’s hatred of me over my quality of life. It’s difficult for me to equate religious freedom with my right to exist - I feel as if you see my presence as a political statement to be argued for or against”). You’d be surprised at the impact conversations like that can have, especially when you’ve been sitting on them for months. It’s never too late! Regarding that above bit of advice - depending on who stopped talking to whom re: who was angriest at the end of that disagreement, it’s possible that they’ve been waiting all this time for the chance to open a dialogue and understand what they did wrong (if you were the angry one). If they walked away and felt that you thought they were a terrible person, though, it might be best to be extra gentle in approaching them again with the fact that you feel their politics are harmful but you don’t hate them personally. In the scenario that this person is now an activist for hate - ie for dialogues or actions that are actively harmful (”I’d support kicking all immigrants out of this country. They don’t need to be here. Refugees are murderers!”), I don’t feel like mercy is ever truly an option. A lot can be said for dealing with hate with patience and teaching, but I’m not about that on a personal level. If they were still actively in your life, I’d encourage you to fight them and show them that behaviour isn’t ok. Since they aren’t, though, I’d turn missing them into mourning who they used to be and accepting that, while they continue to spill vitriol, they aren’t my friend anymore and may never be again. I might also consider getting closure (for myself) by telling them that I miss them but don’t want them in my life when they preach something so terrible, though this is risky in that it gives them an opportunity to reply and hurt you again. TLDR: if you feel like the differences between you two are more opinion based or philosophical, maybe being at odds will be good for the both of you. If you feel like they’re more fundamental, try opening up about why their fundamentals conflict with yours in a way that is more personal than it is ethical. If they’re preaching straight up hate, mourn them and move on.

#reply

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forestwater87 · 4 years

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Your library info is incredibly cool and helpful but I have a bit of a specific question. I kinda did badly in college and continue to do badly (less than 3.0 gpa) and have been completing it very slowly. I failed a few classes due to not doing the work while unmedicated. But archival work is one of the few things I can see myself loving to do. Do I have a chance for grad school, or even getting into it?

I’m sorry you’ve had that experience! That really stinks, and I’m impressed that you’re still working so hard to get past that with everything you’ve gone through. It says a lot about your character and work ethic (which can work to your advantage; see #1 below).

I have to admit, I’m not positive how helpful I can be; I’m very bad at most things, but my one talent seems to be getting good grades, so I don’t have personal experience with maneuvering academic struggles. I’m also not an admissions rep, though I do work in a (community) college so maybe I’m a little more familiar than the average joe? And I did work for our grad school’s library/archives department, though I wasn’t exactly privy to their acceptance decisions because I was a glorified secretary, but . . . well, who knows? Take all of this with a grain of salt, because I’m a big dum-dum, but maybe something here will be helpful.

Or maybe someone super smart will rb this with a ton of useful info. That’s the dream!

Also, a lot of this is coming from a Princeton Review article about literally this topic, if you want a less personal and meandering version of the below tips.

TL;DR Forest’s Non-Expert Recommendations for Grad School Without the Best GPA:

Acknowledge it in your communications with the school, and maybe even your application. They’re going to see those grades anyway, so it’s not like more context is a bad thing.

Take more classes, especially ones related to archives and records administration, and nail those.

Kick the GRE’s ass and give a really good application overall.

Experience! Related experience!!!

Get to know the school you’re interested in -- and make sure they know you.

1. I’ll admit, based on a quick glance through some of the archival programs in the U.S., it does look like a 3.0 GPA is just about the baseline for admittance, which isn’t the best news. (Unless you manage to get a 3.0 by the time you graduate, in which case you’re pretty much good for most schools.) My suggestion there would be, whether or not you can bump your grades up with current and future classes, sharing some info -- to your level of comfort -- about your situation in your cover letter/application: acknowledge the grades issue, explain the reason, and illustrate how you’ve improved since then. Even if your final GPA isn’t all that high, it’ll prime the admissions folks to look at it with the understanding that you had a handicap. Your grades are a story over time, and I imagine if you can show improvement and draw their attention to that via a cover/recommendation letter(s), that could be really useful.

2. Obviously, the easiest answer -- to say, not to do! -- is just “get your grades up.” Which is . . . not terribly helpful. The good news there is that the more classes you ace the better your average will be, so if you can afford (literally, in time, money, or spoons) to take some extra courses, you can drag that score up. Especially if you focus on courses related to archives -- English, History, Political Science, Public Administration, Computer Science, Data Analysis, etc. -- and blast those to smithereens, it looks like it won’t necessarily matter as much if you didn’t nail, say, calculus or physics.

3. That above linked post is . . . well, yes, it’s from Reddit, but it does seem pretty good overall. Another recommendation it mentions is to do really well on the GRE; I talked a little bit about the GRE in my last post, and you can get tons of practice tests and other study material on their site; when I took the test back in 2015, you got the study material for free when you signed up to take the exam, but I’m not sure what the situation is there nowadays. That test is a big bucket of not-fun, but I can almost guarantee any program you look at will want it. In addition to being required in most programs, a really impressive score can encourage admissions folks to overlook your grades. (Note: this is basically true for any part of your application. If your resume, cover letter, recommendations, test scores, etc. are particularly banging, it can overcome deficiencies in other areas.)

4. Girl (or boy, or both, or none of the above), if you can volunteer, intern, or work somewhere relevant, not only do have an awesome potential reference in your supervisor/coworkers, but it looks REALLY GOOD on an application. Obviously now’s not a great time for this, considering the whole pandemic thing, but as stuff starts to open take a look at museums, historical societies, and libraries in your area. See if anyone needs help. The more experience you have, the more you’ll have to talk about in your cover letter, the more you’ll have to make your resume stand out, and the more you’ll be prepared for the actual program and life beyond. I cannot recommend getting some volunteer experience (or paid work, if you can swing it) highly enough.

5. Like most of what’s available, this is a bit dependent on your spoons, time, and maybe even money, but the sooner you can develop a relationship with the folks in the archives school/department you’re interested in, the better. Email them with literally this question; they’ll have a much more informed and specific-to-their-program answer for you, and might have some good advice. Schedule a tour (again, prioritizing your safety and those around you). Ask for an interview with the department head or a faculty member. Call with your questions. Ask about classes you might be able to take outside of the actual program to improve your chances of acceptance. We had students in our program who took a certain number of credits as a non-degree student, and then transferred into the program on the strength of those earlier classes; they were usually people whose grades or test scores weren’t up to snuff, so they could get a start while preparing to apply to the degree program. And in general, if the people deciding whether or not you get to go to school there know your name, your face, and your story, your application is going to get a lot more -- and more generous -- consideration than if they don’t know you from a hole in the ground. If nothing else, you’ll get a lot more useable information than I can possibly give you, and you’ll learn more about the program and the field to better make a game plan for your future.

I hope some of this is helpful! I wish I could say you don’t have a bit of an uphill battle because a pretty significant weight is put on GPA. It’s understandable to an extent -- they want to make sure you’ll be able to handle the courseload before you start -- but it poses an extra challenge for people who are already in difficult circumstances. Definitely make sure you talk to your advisor and the academic folks at your current school as well; there’s a chance that they’ll have some advice or even access to some resources you weren’t aware of that’ll make your current grade situation improve.

Good luck! It sounds like this could be a great path for you, and even if you have to take a bit of a roundabout way to get there, that additional experience and time will help you be more prepared for just about anything ANY grad school program or job could throw at you. I believe in you, and I’m here if you need to ask, chat, or vent.

#ask forest #archives #archival studies #i wish i was an admissions person so i could give a more useful answer #but all i have is my personal experience and the ability to google #and that's what we're going with here #changelingirl

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seawolvesanddragons · 4 years

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Quarantine Cinema: Emma

OK to be upfront, I never read the book “Emma,” which is unusual for me when watching a movie based on a book. I actually haven’t read any of Austen since I was 13/14 and my mom told me I had to read “Pride and Prejudice” before I could read “Pride Prejudice and Zombies.” I will say that Austen has grown on me a little since my aggressively tomboy days of my early teens, so I was willing to give Emma a chance, as I was hearing good thing about it. Also I saw Clueless years ago and its one of the few 80/90s “classic” films I like so....onwards! -first off my favourite part: the CINEMATOGRAPHY? That scenery?! All the pastels on the inside contrasted with the simple yet gorgeous natural scenes outside, all the vivid green and rolling hills? What an aesthetic. -That being said, I spent about 30 percent of the film being like “is Emma in a nightdress? Is that an actual dress? It’s just white, I really can’t tell.” -The music was a little loud at times (that might have been the server I was watching it on) but I loved the choices, it added to the community feel of the film. -I knew roughly how the plot of Emma was supposed to go, but forgot until the dance that Emma and Knightley were supposed to be somehow related, and then had to pause the movie and try to figure out HOW they were related. I ended up looking it up and - did they SAY that they were in laws as well as childhood friends? Because I did not hear it. -but also that dance was so well done! The angles, the shots, the music, the acting...so good. It felt so intense and private even among a crowd -Look, Knightley is cool I guess, and the whole general demeanour of just lying on the floor pining is like...so relatable? ( Also the line “if I loved you less it might be I could talk about it more” like WTF? Who allowed Jane Austen to go so hard and be so relatable about love issues over 100 years ago? I felt CALLED OUT and I was NOT PREPARED to be so over my own complex love life issues from a movie I watched on a whim. ) BUT .... honestly I was pulling for a Jane Fairfax/Emma Woodhouse lesbian storyline from the moment I saw them interact for the first time. I mean, c’mon. Two girls that have been told since childhood they had to be friends and instead one comes to resent the other for reason she can’t quite figure out (ok, maybe because the other is SOOOO accomplished but also maybe because she has a crush and can’t deal with it) and then they reunite after many years and Jane is all quiet and reserved but seems to genuinely like Emma...i don’t know, from the moment I saw them in the piano scene I was like “I ship it, I want it, give it to me.” -Mr Woodhouse was hands down the best character and no I don’t take second opinions on this. -I also was shocked how many of the actors I knew/recognized? Like, I’m not a huge movie buff, especially in terms of non-franchise movies/shows; I know the main MCU ones, GOT and HP, LOTR, etc but that’s it. And yet I knew so many? Like, I recognized Ms Bates (my mom watched Call the Midwife) and Bill Nighy, and I don’t recall their names right now but the two from Sex Education and Prince Charles from the crown. - one of the most delightful things about the film were the little things, like the flour cake and how Emma’s opened the window to the carriage with her single finger, it was just so fun. - Ok I know enough about Austen to know that Emma is supposedly to be largely unlikeable, at least at first, but...I liked her throughout the whole movie? I don’t know how much of this is attributed to the actress’ ability or maybe just opinions on acceptable personality flaws have changed in the last 100 years, or maybe I’m also an asshole, or some combination of all three. So she’s spoiled, and thinks she’s always right, and bit naive. She’s also 21, dearly devoted to her friends/father, clearly intelligent, and she is right a good bit of the time.

-But honestly the only thing I really found fault with her was ruining Harriet’s first marriage prospect, because she didn’t think it was good enough for her. And yeah, that was super wrong, I don’t approve, but I do give her credit for not immediately thinking “Harriet is beneath me/others of my standing,” like, she even thought that Harriet could be with Frank Churchill. (Maybe she’s more visibly classist in the novel, I don’t know.)

-I liked that Emma wasn’t seeking out love or marriage (like many of Jane’s heroines, I gather) and was so devoted to her father and her friends. Her view of marriage was also appealing to me, given the time frame, that she knew she had an unusual amount of sway and power in the household, and no man would ever give her that amount again (except, maybe, Knightley I guess).

-I knew everyone is like “but Box Hill! She was rude!” and yeah, she was but...I don’t know that didn’t seem as aggrevious a fault as everyone was making it out to be. And again that might just be how the movie played it, not the novel, but I’m going off the movie here. Because yes, she was thoughtless, but you can see she immediately regrets her words, and not based on other’s reactions. As SOON as the words leave her lips she looks horrified at what she said. And this is after continuous time spent around Mrs Bates, and she quickly goes on her own accord to apologize. I know people like Mrs Bates, and they are annoying. That doesn’t make them bad people, but it does make it difficult for me to spend long amounts of hours around them. Mrs Bates is always running after Emma, repeatedly talking to her with stories of how amazing Jane is, and at times where it is clear that Emma is with her friend or shopping or otherwise. We all have a coworker like that, someone who always has a story of how amazing their child or niece or relative is, always turns the discussion back to that person, and is always dropping by your cubicle or sees you in the store and wants to talk for thirty minutes about the same topic every time. And yes, the decent thing to do is to make polite conversation, to reach out every now and again, especially in cases like Ms Bates were her circumstances are unfortunate and she is probably just lonely. But Emma DOES do that. She is clearly annoyed when Mrs Bates seeks her out for conversation, but she opens the carriage window, she doesn’t outright tell her to go away in the store, she holds her tongue for a considerable amount of the movie even if she tries to avoid her. (Which. Same. I would do the same and I know it.) She even invites her to her house after a lot of heavy and presumptuous hinting on Mrs Bates part, which is a lot more than most would probably do. So yeah, I didn’t really see “Box Hill” as evidence that Emma really had to turn around and become a better person, just someone who made a slip of tongue after what was probably hours of holding it, between both Ms Bates and the minister’s wife. -I hated the nosebleed. -Knightley’s whole thing with the screens was hilarious, between that and Harriet kissing her love interest I was like “none of these people are obeying propriety and chaperone rules and I love it.” -Overall, I liked it, I would probably give it a 8 out of ten on the personal enjoyment of it and artiste of it all.

#emma #emma woodhouse #emma 2020 #jane austen

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anxiously-going · 4 years

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April 15: Free day! Write about any topic you want!

As promised I want to discuss self-diagnoses, and in particular, mine.

The first thing you should no about self-diagnosing is that it's not a one and done thing.

It's finding a post that you relate to and being surprised to find it tagged as #actually autistic because "wait. Not everyone does that?"

Then ignoring it and brushing it off. Till you find more and more and more and eventually you think, "Ok. Maybe there's something to this."

And then it's research. So. Much. Research.

It's remembering events from childhood that now, armed as you are with your hours and hours of research make sense. Finally, they make sense.

It's reading and rereading the DSM-V on good days and bad days, thinking it will help you understand what it's saying if you read on both because it discusses "negative behavior".

But then you just regret it all together because, "What if I'm just faking it? What if I'm purposely trying to fit into the criteria?"

And part of you does what to fit. Because nothing else makes sense.

Anxiety covers some of your experience, but it can't explain other parts.

Depression does the same thing. It explains some things, but not others.

But all your research on autism? That answers so many questions.

It answers so many that it's almost painful. Because your whole life the answer was right there. But nobody in your life had the information resources to see it.

They didn't know any better than you did.

It's finally accepting after months and years of research and self-reflection and introspection that this is the answer.

You were the "weird kid" growing up, sure. But it wasn't "abnormal" it was just a different normal. And it feels like coming home. Suddenly you realize, everything that singled you out and made you "weird" was only weird because no one else understood. But now you do. You get it now. You're at peace with yourself.

For the most part.

There's still plenty of questioning, plenty of doubting, plenty more hours of research. But it gets less and less as time moves on.

That's how I came to discover I am autistic. I was doing some research for a character in an original work, and about a week into it, I stopped gathering information for that character and I started gathering it for myself.

The deeper I dug the more and more I found myself and my experience in the actually autistic tag, in the resources and experiences of others on ASAN.

I was just beginning to allow myself to believe that autism just might be the answer I'd been looking for when it happened.

I was asked point-blank by a coworker if I was autistic.

I explained all my research, explained how I had even found a study that linked Neurofibromatosis(a rare neurological disorder that I have) has been connected to autism and ADHD, especially in AFAB folks. And after all that I said that I still wasn't sure. I had a lot more to research, and I didn't think an official diagnosis was anywhere in my near future so I might not ever know for sure.

Then she told me she thought it made sense, I reminded her a great deal of her little sister, who is autistic. Now, mind you, my coworkers is in her sixties, and her sister had been diagnosed as a child.

I can't really explain the relief I felt when she said that. It was so....comforting to know that the hours, and at that point almost a year's worth of research, I had put it in made sense to some besides me. Someone that had known me less than a month at that point.

That's been about two and a half years ago now.

Not long after that I worked up the nerve to show my mom the study I had found that linked NF to autism and ADHD. At first, she didn't really say much and I let the matter drop.

A few months later we were at training for work and went with some of her work buddies to lunch and standing in line in that tiny restaurant I started to get overwhelmed. Mom offered to order for me so I could go outside and wait.

When she and her friends came out, one of them asked me if I was ok.

I said I was, and since my mom and I hadn't really talked about the autism thing much, I just said that I get overwhelmed in loud crowded places.

And my mom, without us ever really talking about it, said that it was a sensory thing and had I been in public school I probably would have been diagnosed with autism.

Most of the time, I'd say get permission from someone before saying something like that, just in case the person you're talking about doesn't actually want people knowing.

But for me. In that moment. It was validating. Someone else was seeing what I had only just learned to see in myself. And not just that, but it wasn't a big deal. It was a statement, and yes there was a little bit of explaining, but for the most part the conversation just moved right along. No one commented on my rocking or sternum tapping or lack of eye contact.

Discovering that I'm autistic has been one of the best experiences of my life. It gave me so many answers and it gave me permission, in so many ways, to be myself. It taught me to be gentle with myself when I shutdown, and not berate or get angry at myself when I meltdown, it taught me to be kinder to myself.

All of those things are still struggles for me, I'll be honest. But it's at least helped. It's been a step in the right direction.

#30daysofautismacceptance #2020 #30daysofautismacceptance 2020 #sorry this one got long and rambling

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 5 years

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Idk if you've answered something like this before, so sorry if you have but do you ever get worried that as a mental health professional one of your clients or colleagues might find your Tumblr and read all your smutty writing? I'm officially becoming a licensed therapist (going to work with LGBTQ+ youth!) this year and I'm honestly terrified of someone finding my fics and knowing it's me.

First off, congrats on becoming a licensed therapist! There’s so much hard work that goes into becoming licensed, and maintaining that licensure, and you deserve all the recognition for entering this field and being passionate about helping others!

I will say that as far as my clients go, I’ve so far been working with verrrry impoverished city populations who are lucky to even keep a roof over their head or have a working phone on them, let alone have enough technology to be online or understand tumblr lol. However, it’s definitely something I’ve contemplated and that I had to think about when first making my accounts. I also have a second clinical masters degree in Human Sexuality Education, so I have that as a cushion to be like ummmm do you see what I studied? Are you really surprised? lol

I think it’s a very person-by-person decision about how private you make your online profiles, but for me, I decided that there’s literally nothing to be ashamed about with writing smut. If my clients did find my work and brought it up, we could discuss any reactions they might’ve had about it and process where those reactions come from. Like with you wanting to work with LGBTQ+ youth (which kudos by the way, the world needs more professionals like you!) if they did happen upon your stuff, well 1. they’re technically not to be consuming this content if they’re under 18 (which lets be real, isn’t a realistic standard but still something you could say, that your stuff is advertised for adult consumers). But also, it could honestly start a great conversation regarding sexuality and our internal desires, especially how fictional fantasy is NOT the same as reality, and that one can fantasize about topics that they don’t have to condone in reality (esp if your fanfic content is more ‘taboo’). It can also be a GREAT conversation on gender expectations, and how women are held to such double standards when we acknowledge that we even have sexual fantasies, let alone create or consume erotic content. I could go on and on about this, but I think you get my drift that if a client did find your profiles, it’s all about how you process their reaction and turn the conversation. Make it about the general topics of erotica/fantasies/sexuality/etc and take the focus off YOU creating it. Make it a bigger conversation. It could even open them up to feeling more comfortable talking to you about their own sexual-related topics (I know that my clients and coworkers tbh who learned of my masters in human sexuality were muuuch more likely to then voice their own questions and concerns in that arena, bc I became more of a safe, nonjudgmental space).

Now, as far as coworkers, I used to hide my love of fanfiction, but the last few years I haven’t. My team at work knows I read and write fanfiction. If somone new starts at my job and we do the whole “so what are your hobbies” convo, I include reading and writing. If they ask me what I read or write, I say fanfiction, and take in their reaction. If they’re a jerk about it, I know they’re not someone I want to be around and our relationship is gonna be verrry professional and not buddy buddy. Also, in our field, a mental health professional being a dick about something like that??? Talk about a career red flag, my god.

My first supervisor at my current job was actually into fandoms himself, and I only found out through being honest regarding my own hobbies. We didn’t go into details since he was in a higher level position, but once he left my job for another company, we traded social media profiles and he asked for my masterlist, something that never would’ve happened if I’d hid my love of fanfic. And one of the nurses I work with (a woman in her 50s) even asked to read one of my stories a couple of months ago, once I explained to her what fanfiction was, and so I sent her one of my Hopper oneshots since we both watch Stranger Things. Now I did give her the disclaimer that she asked for this content and so to prepare herself. And I know her well enough at this point that we don’t judge each other and are super open about a lot of things sex-related already, so I wasn’t worried about her freaking out. Her response the next time I saw her, after she read it, was, “Damn, you’re a dirty bitch….I loved it!” XD

Now I’m not saying you have to share your content with coworkers (and definitely don’t ever actively share it with clients, as I’m sure you know), but I don’t think anyone should feel that they *have* to hide it, either, or be worried if someone else finds it on their own. Any coworker who would try to belittle me or make fun of me for that? Oh hell no. We’re all adults here, and the time for making fun of someone for their hobbies is long past in my book. I have no time for it. If you show that you’re not embarrassed by something and refuse to let someone else make you feel/act embarrassed, then people who would be jerks will only make themselves look dumb. But I’m also very lucky to work in a super open-minded environment and none of my coworkers who know have ever given me much crap over it.

All that to say, that’s MY personal situation, and my own view on it is that I’m all for being open about my love of smutty fanfic, because you never know when you’ll find someone else who is also into it. And regarding clients, you keep it professional and turn it into a bigger conversation, or if the client reacts super harshly, process where their feelings of transference are coming from. At the end of the day, they were the ones searching for that content in order to happen upon your profile sooooo *shrugs* However, if the thought of that is too worrisome or anxiety-inducing then, by all means, don’t feel bad about having an anonymous profile that gives out no personal info about who you are. It’s a choice YOU have to make for yourself.

For me, I’m letting my smutty fanfic flag fly proudly, and people can accept it or move on along. Hope that helps!

#about me #personal #Anonymous

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anthemsreturn-writes · 6 years

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To Set Aside One’s Pride

Hi!!! I’m really sorry I wasn't able to get this done by Christmas, things were hectic, no excuse for that! This is my Secret Santa gift for @forloveoflibertea for the @usuknetwork event. I went with the magical strike kiss under the mistletoe prompt combined with the optional omegaverse twist! I hope you like it!!! :)))))

Word Count: 3,109

Warnings: They think they hate each other at first, but they secretly have those feelings.

Summary: The company Christmas party was coming up, and a certain Frenchman has a plan to get Alfred and Arthur together in an unconventional way.

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"Alfred, if you don't leave my office right now, we'll have a big problem!" Arthur, the quickly rising star omega of the company, bit out, venom in his voice and poison in his glare. His scent was spiked with irritation.

"HA! You know what else is big?" Alfred goaded, knowing Arthur couldn't do anything to him without getting fired, what with Alfred being the company president's son. He almost smelled more obnoxious than he was acting, their scents combining to make the room unbearable.

There was a loud groan before Arthur's fluffy blond head hit the table. "Why do you have to be such a child?" He ground out before looking up, cold bottle green eyes locking with the alpha's bemused pacific blue behind his thin-wired frames.

Simply smirking, Alfred "aw'd" at him condescendingly. "You're just jealous, baby." There was an odd spike in his scent at the end of his sentence, which Arthur completely ignored.

Twitching, he looked about ready to murder Alfred. "Do not call me that!" he growled out, the blush creeping into his cheeks saying otherwise.

Holding up his hands in a placating gesture and laughing obnoxiously loud, Alfred spun on his heels, his long, feathered black coat swishing behind him. "Whatever… sweetie."

Arthur barely restrained himself from throwing his metal paperweight at the brat's head. Alfred's only four years younger than him, and by no means unintelligent, yet he acts like an imbecile or an immature hooligan. The dyed purple stripe in his hair and a temporary purple star tattoo on his cheek only add to this effect. Convincing himself he was angry at Alfred and not at all flustered by the pet names, Arthur quickly got back into the throes of his work, ignoring the silence and not at all wishing he'd come back.

-------

Back in his private, top floor office, Alfred was feeling incredibly proud of himself. He considers his work day to be wasted if he doesn't bug the adorably grumpy Arthur Kirkland at least once. Just as he himself was about to open up some of his own work-related documents, there was a knock on his door. Fixing a professional smile on his face and wiping off the self-satisfied smirk, he called out, "Come in!"

The door opened halfway. "Ah! Mon Ami, how are you?"

Smile dropping off his face, Alfred sighed gustily. His cheerful scent mellowed. At least the man was wearing a normal three-piece suit, meaning he wasn't in the mood to be putting on a pink frilly dress and taking his department on strike.

"What do you want, Francis?"

The man came in uninvited, shutting the door behind himself. The beta strutted towards Alfred's desk, flipping his long blond hair over his shoulder idly. Then he leaned on the desk with one hand. "Oh, nothing really, I just wanted to ask you how things are going between you and Mr. Eyebrows lately," he asked, his tone suggestive.

Alfred arched a brow. "What's there to tell?" He asked dryly, ignoring the jab at Arthur's rather over-sized eyebrows. They're actually kinda cute, not that he would ever admit it.

Leaning in, Francis chuckled. "Oh, but everyone outside of his office heard the little spat between the two of you. What was that about, what was it again? "Babe" and "Sweetie"?"

Alfred glowered at him, scent and mood darkening. "I'm not in the mood, Francis." The man was ruining his good mood by suggesting there was more to his teasing Artie earlier.

He smiled lecherously. "So you're not denying calling the formidable Brit those pet names?"

"... Get out, Francis."

"Wait, wait, wait! I just wanted to make sure, now onto the actual topic at hand! I propose a bet, one that will help solve the, how shall I say, tension between the two of you?"

"... I said get out."

"Just hear me out! I know the two of you can't possibly bear to spend more than a few minutes together at a time, so this bet would be a good way to one-up him!"

Alfred didn't want to admit his intrigue. "What are you going on about?"

"Before I say anything, just know that Arthur has already agreed to this!"

"And?"

"It's simple, really. I'll handcuff the two of you together-"

"Not interested."

"Hear me out! You will both have a key to the handcuffs. The conditions are that you have to spend the entire Christmas party together on a fake date, and whoever uncuffs himself from the other first loses! And if by some miracle, you manage to go the whole party without doing so, the work environment will be much improved because you will both have learned how to cooperate!" He finished triumphantly.

Alfred regarded him warily. "And why would I agree to this?"

"Because Arthur has already done so. He bet me one hundred dollars you'd never accept."

Alfred pushed a hand through his caramel blond hair. He considered it for a minute, looking off to the side through his floor-to-ceiling windows at the busy New York streets below. It would be nice to be with the omega during the party; after all, he doesn't have a date-- it wouldn't be a date, he'd just get to tease him the entire time! Artie would get so mad and he'd come out on top like an alpha should! Hopefully, Artie won't uncuff himself at the drop of a hat though… he'll have to tone it down, but, he'd get to spend some time with him-- teasing him! That is… Finally, his resolve hardened and he turned back to Francis, nodding his head. "He deserves to lose some money," was all he said at first. Francis just smiled brightly, knowingly for some reason, because of course there's nothing more to this. "But if I win, you have to promise to not go on strike for an entire year."

An evil glint in his eye, Francis nodded. "You have my word, Mon Ami… Oh, and one more thing. If you both make it the whole party, neither of you win or lose, so expect a strike, because no one wants to work before New Years."

Alfred smiled, somehow managing to look wicked and innocent at the same time, and clasped his hands together. "Good. Now, get out of my office."

Chuckling, Francis nodded his head, beginning his retreat. "Au revoir!" he called out, shutting the door behind himself with a flourish. As he made his way down the hall, he thought, Now to just get Arthur to agree.

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Why did I agree to this? Arthur bemoaned, frustrated with this being the fifth time during the party a coworker asked why he was handcuffed to Alfred, of all people! Arthur was quick to reassure them it was just for a bet that he himself would be winning. Each time he had to reiterate it he got more and more frustrated, his tea and roses scent turning sour and lemony, especially with the git just grinning down at him instead of helping explain. Alfred, meanwhile, was having the time of his life watching Artie suffer, but a large part of him wished he'd smell sweet while they were together. So sweet, just for him… Uh… Alfred didn't know what to make of that thought. But as the party wore on and the gossip spread, people stopped questioning them and they were left to enjoy the party as much as they were able to in each other's immediate presence. To Arthur's surprise, however, the whole event was going rather… smoothly. Sure, he was still teased by the utter pillock he was joined to, but Alfred became less and less obnoxious as time wore on. He became almost… charming? No, not charming, just more bearable, that was it! Of course, that was it… Right.

"Oh! Hi guys, I see you two must be having fun!" Arthur's cheerful coworker and office friend, an alpha woman named Erzebet, walked up to them with a smile and a wave. Just as Arthur was about to reply he found himself gently pushed behind Alfred. He frowned, scent reflecting his confusion, about to ask him what his problem was when Alfred spoke.

"Hey, Erzebet, nice to see you! Where's your mate? You should go find him." Alfred spoke tersely and authoritatively, and Arthur was honestly quite bewildered before anger took over. Who in the world does he think he is?!

Blinking in slight shock, Erzebet smiled and took a slow step back from the two of them. "That's a good idea! I don't know where he is right now, so I'd better go. I'll leave the two of you to it then." With a nod to Alfred and an astute glance at Arthur, Erzebet walked away. Arthur turned to Alfred, livid.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shrieked quietly, trying not to make too much of a scene, despite his distress coloring the room.

"What's wrong with you? You were just going to let her flirt with you?!" Alfred smelled of acid and charcoal, and it was burning Arthur's nose, only distressing him further. Alfred finally noticed and attempted to calm his scent back to its usual fire smoke and sandalwood.

Calming slightly and face twisting trying to comprehend the stupidity of his statement, Arthur then pursed his lips with a frown. "Maybe losing one hundred dollars is worth it," he bit out acidly. He was reaching into his pocket when Alfred grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

Alfred quickly backtracked. "Wait, Arthur, come on, I just… I didn't mean to upset you, I--"

"Didn't mean to upset me?! By being rude to and chasing away my friend? I find that hard to believe. Do you want me to be miserable working here? Is that why you always bother me? … Do you truly hate me that much?" Arthur's rage-fueled voice quieted down as he spoke until it was almost hard to hear him over the noise of the party. Tears poked into the corners of his which he valiantly fought from spilling.

Panicking, Alfred's scent turned tart and vinegar, causing Arthur to crinkle his nose and start to panic in response. Noticing, Alfred turned it gentle and comforting, surprising Arthur, the sudden change causing tears to start to spill. "What? No! Artie, no, look, I-I just… look, can we just forget about this? I'll make it up to you, I swear! Just please sweetie, please don't cry." Without thinking, he wrapped the omega in his arms, his left and Arthur's right pressed awkwardly between them.

In Arthur's ensuing shock, the tears vanished and his scent sweetened against his will. That was the first time Alfred had ever called him a pet name that wasn't intended as an insult or to rile him up. It was… genuine? Was he honestly trying to comfort him? Regardless of the alpha’s intentions, which were obvious to everyone else in the room, Arthur was indeed comforted and, without hesitating, buried his face in Alfred's chest and felt calmed by the hand gently rubbing the center of his back. Alfred, for one, had never realized just how soft Arthur was, how delicate, and how he absolutely needed a hero like him to protect him.

Once Arthur was calmed down (a little while still after that, because the hug was… nice) Alfred led him away from the majority of the party and to a back corner where he could apologize and tell Artie why, exactly, he did what he did. He had only just realized it himself.

Arthur was surprisingly compliant as Alfred led him through the crowd until they reached a deserted niche. Then Alfred, instinctively, nudged Arthur into the corner and blocked it off with his body, keen on protecting the man he now viewed as a vulnerable, sweet, cute omega who he has the sole job of protecting. Alfred still warred with his feelings internally, but it was too late. For better or worse, the alpha inside of him wants this omega, like a light-bulb turned on in his head, or more aptly, he opened his eyes to see the light had always been on.

Arthur looked up at Alfred questioningly but unprotestingly. His emotions were going through a similar whirlwind, and he suddenly didn't hate, or rather "hate," Alfred as he previously thought he did.

Alfred sighed and ran his free hand through his hair, scent tumultuous. "Baby…" he started off, "I'm sorry I upset you, and for chasing away your friend. I know it's not an excuse, but, the thought of another alpha being, closer to you than I am, I dunno, it just, triggered? Something inside of me, that I can't really explain. No, wait, I can, I--" mustering up his courage, he sighed before smiling and looking down into Arthur's beautiful green eyes, scent evening out pleasantly. "I like you, Artie," he said wistfully. Arthur had been confused throughout his speech before his eyes widened and his heart clenched in a way that warmed his whole body. His lips trembled, and he looked the picture of a deer frozen in headlights. Alfred moved his hand to gently cup Arthur's cheek, stroking it softly, before realizing Arthur hadn't replied yet and the touch might be unwanted. He quickly removed his hand, scent sheepish, before Arthur's shocked scent melted into one of unadulterated happiness and he whined softly against his will, embarrassedly, in the back of this throat when Alfred removed his hand. Alfred let out a soft breath, his smile more relaxed and genuine than either his megawatt smile or his smirk. He returned his hand and gently cupped his cheek, waiting for an answer. Arthur didn't know what to say, so he sniffled as tears of happiness blurred his vision and his scent sweetened, smelling of tea, roses, and now rain and honey as well.

"Artie, would you like to go on a proper date with me?" Alfred asked, hoping Arthur would say something. Arthur looked down and wet his lips before nodding, looking up with a small but pleased smile.

"Yes… I would," he replied softly. "... Although, the rest of this party can be our first date?" He asked, emboldened by his budding and strengthening feelings. He mentally looked back on past meetings with Alfred and realized just how much they were holding back their true feelings, insulting each other so they could ignore how they felt, belittling each other so they could forget how they felt, and convincing themselves they hated each other so they wouldn't ache inside. He realized now the ache was completely gone, and he felt, happy. A thought struck him. "Uhm… wait. Does this mean? That we're…" his voice nearly squeaked on the last word, "boyfriends?"

Alfred's scent became stronger, more protective and proud. "Yeah, it does. I'll take good care of you, Artie, I promise. And I'll make this the best first date you've ever had, alright?"

Arthur nodded meekly, too overwhelmed by his feelings to muster up his usual attitude. Cautiously he leaned forward and Alfred immediately caught him up in a hug. The alpha buried his face into Arthur's hair, gently nosing his locks and smiling, happier than he'd been in a very long time, so long he can't remember a time when he was happier, and this was only the beginning of their relationship. Arthur looked up with a smile when he caught something out of the corner of his eye… Mistletoe. He frowned and pouted, causing Alfred to look up questioningly.

"... You led me over here on purpose," he accused. His mind raced. Alfred had probably set all this up! He purposefully upset him just so he could comfort him, then twist the knife! He had him believing this was genuine! But… it couldn't be, could it? Arthur started to pull away. "I can't believe you planned this! Did you set all this up just to kiss me? Did you honestly think you could trick me like that?! I--"

"I didn't plan this, Artie! I swear! This is all a coincidence. Trust, me, I lo- care about you so much, I'd never do this to upset you," Alfred cut him off before he could go on one of his trademark rants. He didn't even fully know what he'd done wrong this time, but the omega was obviously upset. Arthur's face was tinged slightly red with anger, but he quickly realized he jumped to conclusions. Alfred wasn't leading him on, he wasn't trying to trick him. He actually, really… does care about him. The red turned to one caused by embarrassment. Arthur looked down, pressing his forehead against the collar of Alfred's coat.

"Hey, baby, I swear I didn't plan this, but since it's there… why don't we follow tradition?" He asked with a smirk, scent strengthening. After a second, Arthur looked up from beneath his lashes with a smirk of his own.

"Well, it is tradition," he said angelically, scent spiking mischievously. Grinning, Alfred leaned down and captured Arthur's lips with his own, holding him close and tilting his head to the side so his glasses didn't press into Arthur's cheek. The kiss started out slow until they were enthusiastically moving their lips in tandem. It was sweet, and they both hummed into this kiss before Alfred slipped his tongue out and gently licked the seam of Arthur's lips. With a gasp, he parted them and Alfred tangled their tongues together, stroking Arthur's tongue and hip and the same time. Arthur moaned. He can't remember a kiss that felt this nice. No, better than nice. This felt… right.

Their lips molded together passionately, tongues tangling before they began to run out of air. Arthur finally felt the intense need to breathe and attempted to pull back, but Alfred held him against him a second longer before they pulled away, a string of their mixed saliva connecting them. Arthur wiped it away with the back of his palm, feeling out of breath as a pleased smirk came onto his face. Alfred just smiled, nuzzling their noses together, causing Arthur to involuntarily make a sound close to a giggle that was absolutely not a giggle. He looked down, embarrassed, but Alfred lifted his chin and molded their lips together for another kiss.

-------

At the end of the party, they both uncuffed themselves while Francis smiled, sighing over-dramatically. "Ah, love…" he cooed, both Alfred and Arthur snapping, "Shut it." Four years later, on their wedding day, they both thanked their lucky stars they took a bet for the sole purpose of their own pride and gained more than they could've ever hoped for by putting it aside.

#usuk #hetalia #usukholiday2018 #aph america #aph england #aph usuk

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lcvcntc · 6 years

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{ H S H Q T A S K 0 2 1 }

1. COLD HARD FACTS

population: 9,80M area: 93,030 km2 / 35,920 sq mi offical language: hungarian currency: forint ( HUF / Ft )

2. NATIONAL PRIDE

With a relatively small population, when someone makes it internationally, the whole country stans. Rubik’s cube? Hungarian. Hungarians have won a pretty impressive amount of Olympic medals considering their size. Hungary is an old country. Really old. Were talking about being its own kingdom in the middle ages. Hungary’s culture goes back centuries and it’s something to be proud of. There’s sanctity in the old ways.

3. VALUES

Family. Family comes first. Always. Grandparents aren’t simply cast aside, they are part of the core family. Cousins, aunts and uncles are seen often. Friendships are intimate but rare. Hungarians may call their good acquaintances friends but that’s usually when it’s socially inappropriate to just call them acquaintances. Good friends are a different thing though --- there’s a bond that isn’t easily broken and there aren’t many topics that are not talked about.

4. SOCIETAL NORMS

Hungarians are quiet. They talk when it’s necessary and they pick their words carefully. While people are friendly and polite, they may not be very easily approachable. Acquainting Hungarians may prove to be difficult because it’s just not in their nature to blabber on and on. Hungarians are a no-frills kind of people. If something is not up to their standards they’ll bring it up. It’s not about being demanding or having unreasonable requirements, it’s just that problems should be dealt with in an appropriate manner. No point in gently trying to hint at an issue --- just bring it up and it will be resolved. Simple. Especially older generations are more reserved. Be punctual! Being late more than 5 mins is not acceptable, in fact, be 15 mins early to a meeting!

5. LANGUAGE

Hungarian or Magyar is a Finno-Ugric language, which means that it’s a relative of Finnish and Estonian! I looked into it but I couldn’t find many similarities in vocabulary and I didn’t understand a thing about the grammar but apparently grammar and very old words are what makes the relation clear. Grammar makes Hungarian a bit difficult to learn. Prepositions aren’t as common as they are in English: Hungarian has suffixes. Verbs are modified according to the doer. Nouns can turn into complicated things depending on the context.

6. ARTS

Hungary is proud of their cultural inheritance. They aren’t as obsessed with accomplishments in the way the English or the Americans are. Traditions are something they have immense respect for. Hungarians respect people who can play folk music or are skilled at folk dancing. It’s a niche hobby but those who are invested in it, are invested in it. The traditional costumes of Hungary are all about embroidery as it is a highly-valued skill in Hungarian culture and definitely something that is considered as part of Hungarian heritage.

7. FOOD & DRINKS

Hungarian wine is a Thing, and they are proud of it! Wine as a gift isn’t all that appreciated actually because Hungarians, first of all, prefer to drink their own wines and consider themselves as experts on them. So don’t bring a bottle of Italian, it’s not appreciated. Hungarians eat quite a lot of meat. Paprika and sour cream are key ingredients in most dishes and they are universally loved in the country.

8. MISCELLANEOUS

The wildest thing is that sometimes when a woman marries her husband, she adopts his full name! “ So if Anda marries Galffy Laszlo, she publicly becomes Galffy Laszloné or Mrs. Galffy Laszlo (the wife of Galffy Laszlo.) Of course, for her friends and family she will still be Anda, but if she was to be introduced to a group of coworkers at her new work place, she will be called Galffy Laszloné. “ ( x ). So basically you just throw a -ne at the end of his first name or if you only take his last name then at the end of it. Why Lisette isn’t introducing herself as idk, Leventene Croÿ or Lisette Croÿne is because Croÿ is of Belgian origin and it just doesn’t naturally twist into the proper form and there’s no way Lisette, being Spanish, would go for his full name lol. Hungary’s opinion on communism is very vague: Hungary has benefited from communism and somewhat suffered after it was abolished in their country.

#hshqtask021 #( task. )

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purge-that-urge-rhackathon · 6 years

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Do you read works people gift to you?

I print them out and eat them xD

I’d like to preface this answer by saying first and foremost that I used to work (not fun, i HATED it) in the film industry doing a LOT of jobs, and one of those was doing script coverage. For those unfamiliar with the term, script coverage is where they give you a pile of all these fucking scripts they’re either deciding to buy the rights to, have bought the rights to, or need an abstract written to help them decide whether or not to pursue it to the point of making a film themselves, or releasing their license for someone else to purchase it. One page translates to one minute of screen time, yeah? Do the math there, and most features will be 90-150+ pages.

And that’s where my job came in: having to sit for hours forced to read a lot of shit i didn’t want to (and i was the book-nerd at the library who LOVED new stuff right? i’ve read somewhere around 10,000 books since high school and i read very fast too) so this was something akin to torture for me. I have read a lot of shit. Shit i’m really really glad will never make it to the big screen. Shit that made no sense. Shit that triggered me up and down. Shit in genres not up my alley in the first place. Shit that will never get made because of the abstracts I wrote having to tell the studio how shit it was, in professional-ese. It was a few months in beverly hills of doing that before my ass quit.

So while i really appreciate the shit out of the intentions, and goddamn am i grateful and flattered as fuck someone might want to gift me something, unless you know me, like really intimately (maybe only 5 people on this site i’d say, and they know who they are), it’s something very hard for me to accept and the ensuing anxiety over trying not to be an ungrateful bastard or be mean at all just because its not up my alley, and the pressure to hopefully not discourage someone (and i NEVER want to discourage someone, i really really want people to have fun doing what they do!) just really makes gift fic an unpleasant experience for me.

It’s like… it’s different from fanart. Fanart you see the thing and BOOM. You know its for you or not. And even if its not, you can usually pretty easily complement the color scheme or technical skill or find something about it to be nice and gracious over.

The written word is not like this. Sometimes you’ll begin to read a thing and know right away it is not for you, and you need to get out of there. I take it one step further in my judgmentalness: if the grammar is really bad, i won’t read it. If the visual structure (no paragraph breaks, for example) isn’t proper, i won’t read it. If they keep misspelling the same word or someone’s name, it drives me nuts to the point of not reading further. If things start taking a turn I don’t like, or gets too wordy or too descriptive (OR lacks such), i won’t read it. More to the point, if the general subject matter is not up my alley, i wont read it. If the portrayal of the characters isn’t something i like, or squicks me, i wont read it. I have a list as long as the day of dealbreakers for myself.

I mean i think we can just sum this up to why some people will read certain authors and some won’t, right? We can all understand our own unique tastes.

When I’m gifted a fic, I feel like i am back in that old-ass chair with a pile of scripts dreading what is to come. I have no choice. It’s a gift, and the nature of a gift is you must be gracious even if you don’t like it. I think that’s asking a LOT of someone who didn’t ask for the thing. Especially if it’s a longer fic, or lord forbid multi-chaptered. It’s like, i didn’t sign up for this ride, please don’t make me ride this ride, i want off. It’s nothing on the person who wrote the thing, and everything on me. I am picky. I have a lot of deal breakers. And I don’t like to lie. I really really don’t like to lie. And forcing my hand with something like that and telling someone false things and also having to have that in my brain for however long it takes to read it? Instant panic attack. It’s one of my triggers, and i know it is.

A coworker last year asked me to do script coverage for him because i lived in japan for 4 years, and his script was focused on some japanese stuff… and was so goddamn outlandish like i didn’t know what to say to him. It put me in a position i didn’t want to be in. How to be nice and still be friends, but also delicate about his art? It’s not a good place to put someone. I had a lot of panic attacks before I had to tell him I WILL ONLY TRANSLATE YOUR JAPANESE FOR YOU I DONT HAVE TIME TO READ THIS. And we haven’t spoken about it since.

Art is subjective, yes, but I would say writing is far more subjective. It’s not a visual medium. It’s a lot more about technical skill. And then you get into the story content and choice of words there. Unless you’re one of those 5 people I mentioned earlier, anon, chances are you don’t know my precise triggers and my very specific tastes as to what i’ll read. What I write and what I read aren’t necessarily related.

I see gift fic kind of as someone telling you to come over and watch a movie. You don’t get to choose the movie. The person who had you come over does, and they’re really excited about it only for you to find out its something you do NOT want to sit and waste part of your life with… but this is someone you wanna be nice to but god the suffering… i think we’ve all had some sort of experience like that. But dial it up a notch or three and toss in panic disorder and you have me.

I don’t like to be forced to have to read something i didn’t actively search out myself. It’s part of the reason i REALLY hate people asking me to ‘look over’ their fics for them. I am of course extremely flattered, but im a hack writer and my word isn’t better than anyone else’s, and i know there are beta readers out there who actively like to do the thing. But i have neither the time nor inclination to read something i didn’t pick myself. Like someone buying you clothes. They might know your size but then the style could not be to your liking, or maybe the size and style is just fine but the material is scratchy and rubs you the wrong way. It’s probably better off not buying someone clothes, yeah?

I think i’ve been pretty thorough explaining myself and my background with the whole idea and my thought process as to why i don’t necessarily like gift fic, anon. When it happens, i’ll usually click it, but it puts me in a fucking horrid situation i will do anything to get out of. I’ve had people do it in the past in order to try and get my ‘attention’ and manipulate me to promote them (and then i stopped writing for about 9 years) and i’ve already stated i’ll promote anyone who needs it, but just the whole idea behind gift fic rubs me the wrong way. And because of my severe anxiety and not wanting to possibly be misunderstood on the topic, you’ve gotten an epic written back about the hows and whys and the history behind me hating unsolicted fic recs… gift fic is kind of in the same category for me.

You can dedicate shit to me left and right if i’ve inspired you, that’s really bitchin and i’m glad! Just… don’t force me to have to read it, or put me in a position where you’re like “Hey i gifted this go read it. Did you read it? What did you think?” That is my LITERAL nightmare. Aside from very-real time constraints as i am a bartender and dont have all the free tie in the world, I’ve really gotta put my mental health as my main priority. I’m really really sorry if this hurts anyone’s feelings :( That’s clearly not my intent by the massive text wall i’ve written, but i just want to be fully understood that its not coming out of a place of unkindness, but more of mental self-preservation and aversion to situations which have triggered panic attacks in the past.

I hope i’ve been clear somewhat D:

#poisonjack answers #you guys can clearly tell when im under the strain of anxiety or not due to the sheer text wall responses i sometimes give HAHA #just... sorry if this is one of you who've gifted me work int he past D: it puts me in a really weird position #...like getting song fic or something without knowing i HATE it... ad then gifting me something like that... awkwaaaaard #LOL i REALLY hope no one's feelings are hurt :( i super appreciate any and all gestures like you guys are rad as hell #i dont want to be an ungracious asshole... gift fic is a weird territory #im probably the only one who would even think stuff ike this sorry D: want to explain myself properly

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reviewedwell · 3 years

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