#this is no real analysis btw lol don't come for me

[thewalrusespublicist]

Stress Testing Song Lyric Theories: Real Love/Real Life/Stepping Out Demo Meta

What's this? Another long-ass essay analysis on a piece of John Lennon's media that keeps getting taken down by the Ono Lennon estate? More likely than you think (especially when you're this autistic).

As a history obsessive and a grizzled, mood ruining, eternal hater/skeptic, I have misgivings when people in the Beatles fandom look at song lyrics only through one specific lens/focus as it can lead to a myopic and potentially inaccurate take of the subject matter. This I've noticed is particularly bad with older Beatles fans looking at John's work through just the Yoko lens and other fans looking at it just through the Paul lens. (This ain't a lecture btw, I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to doing both.)

When dealing with contentious things like interpreting feelings and songs (nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with that combo lol), it's important to get at least the facts we do have straight, which is why I wanted to go through some of the fandom's darlings and take them apart to see if the theories about them actually hold up to scrutiny.

To start out, I'd thought I go big with having a proper look at John Lennon's 1977 real life/real love/stepping out demo. I wanted to tackle this one as this is one of only three unconfirmed songs in John's catalogue that I was 100 % convinced was about Paul. As I've mentioned before, this was to me the smoking gun to end all smoking guns, my golden calf, Real Love demo my beloved etc. Got to say, I'm glad I did, as the outcome was a lot more complicated than expected! So let's get to the demo:

Analyzing songs for a fixed specific meaning or one coherent subject is always ... challenging. Songs are a medium to express both real or imagined concepts, feelings and events. You can't know everything about the artist's thought process and therefore their work, especially in regards to what is fictional/metaphorical and what is real (pun intended). What's special about this demo though (and what makes it easier to work with) is the fact that its less of a fully crafted song and more one long stream of consciousness ramble. The line between subject and artist is dissolved as we sit at the piano with John as he tells us about his miserable morning:

Woke up this morning. Blues around my head. Ain't no need to ask the reason why. Went to the kitchen. Lit a cigarette. Blew the smoke rings in the sky. Just got to let it go. Just got to let it go.

The song (or ramble) carries on like that for a while as we get to John reading the newspaper (keep this bit in mind, it might come in handy later):

Picked up the paper. Read the Daily News. Nothing doing anyway. Same old BS. Doot doot doot doot cruise. Nah nah nah nah now. Let go. Let it go. (laughs) No, what am I doing? Why don't you let it go? Why don't you let it go? Mm, it's real life. It's real. Yes, it's real life. It's real. Let go. Let the mighty river flow. Let go. Let go. Oh, rock your balls, you...

As we can see in the stanza above, John is bored and clearly agitated/embarrassed about something.

Then more stanzas about boredom and a lack of fulfilment wherever he goes and then we get to the stanza that everyone here is probably familiar with:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats)

If it don't feel right, don't do it. If it don't look right, look right through it If it don't feel right, don't do it. Just call him/them on the phone.

People go insane over this stanza and for good reason. It's a confession of lost intimacy with someone who:

Is clearly important to John

He is now more distant with

Is connected to babies or having a baby

Is connected to a farm

The mystery of course is, who is this person? Realistically, there is only really three people we know of who even somewhat fit these specific categories. Let's go through them:

First potential subject: Yoko!

This one has some legs. More than I was expecting. At this point John and her:

Do have an infant

Are purchasing a farm together (I think the sale went through 1978 so they should be talking about that in 1977.)

Distant from one another (their marriage was rocky throughout the mid-late 70s)

With Yoko as the subject, the stanza could be a reflection of their lost intimacy:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. - self explanatory, the yesterday here has no significance but to signify nostalgia. The dream in this circumstance could be the dream of their relationship, The Ballad of John and Yoko.

And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) - A long time has passed, they have a kid now. Now this takes some manipulation but is the farm 'the baby on the way'? The new shared project that will take further attention away from their marriage? The laugh might indicate a sense of irony there, a bitter joke. Yoko and John have struggled to conceive, Sean is very likely their only shared child. Is the laugh brought about by a sad reflection of the farm replacing the gap of children?

Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) - we are in this marriage but we are alone OR why are we alone? Their marriage was a cocoon, all-consuming but stifling. Maybe both of them needed air from time-to-time.

So this stanza alone works quite well to be about Yoko, if you go quite metaphorical. It works somewhat with the beginning as well, he's down and depressed, over the state of their marriage? He needs to let something go, an argument? Is he waking up to the fact that reality isn't this marriage fantasy?

What it doesen't straightforwardly answer is why he is SO mad/embarrassed/avoidant of these feelings? In the records we have of their conversations, John is usually VERY vocal about not seeing Yoko enough. So why is he holding feelings of distance back and wanting to forget about it?

It also doesn't answer why the person he is calling in the following stanza on the phone is a him/them. (It's hard to hear at a normal volume. but if you are an insane person and blast your headphones to an ear bleeding level, it sounds a lot more like him than them. For the sake of caution and covering all bases however, let's consider both for now.) Why would he have reticence calling his wife or refer to her as them? In all accounts of that time period he has no issue calling her or hell, just going and talking to HIS WIFE who lives in their shared flat. It's a weird, dangling thread. The only explanation that would fit the stanza being inspired by Yoko is John realising he needs connection outside of his fading marriage. (I want to raise and partially dismiss here that it could just be a separate train of thought, a reminder to himself that he has to call someone for a chore/service. Yoko handled most of the admin stuff so its not like he's doing any of that and he isn't doing anything professionally so its unlikely to be a random call).

Second potential subject: May Pang!

Now I almost dismissed May outright but girl you know what, good for you, this might actually be about you! Our dear May is:

Important to John (she's also in the diaries and he dreams about sleeping with her a lot, he is REALLY into May)

Distant now he and Yoko are back together

But not baby nor farm adjacent

Taking May in mind, there is a certain logic there. John allegedly does dream about May and sleeping with May so whilst the Yesterday has no significance, the dreaming would. She was his romantic partner and still into her so holding in arms makes sense. The next lines also make sense if you follow the same logic as Yoko's but more distanced. Time has passed and his circumstances with the baby and the farm is now massively different to before, maybe he wants an escape from responsibility represented by May?

With May in mind, the stanzas work a lot better than it does Yoko. It's real life, he can't be with her and he's got to let it go. But he can't so he wants to call 'them'. Or maybe he's had a fight with Yoko and is being reminded of May in his agitation.

So May works from an emotional standpoint and as long as that last line is really 'them'. (It begs the question of why not 'her' but anyway.) As it stands, May seems like a stronger candidate than Yoko in terms of the songs emotional logic.

So currently, May is in the lead but wait ... there's another contender...

Third potential subject: Paul!

Now this one is I think the fan favourite opinion on this site for this song and there's merit to it. Paul is:

Important to John

Relationship now distant (but not apparently distant enough for John to ALLEGEDLY stop dedicating pagggess to him in his diary/meet for dinner when they are in town/visit for Christmas).

Doesen't have a baby but he is expecting one with Linda.

John's got problems and those problems are usually projected onto a Paul shaped target. But beneath all that, was there any softness left, any tenderness?

Well yes, its fucking John Lennon, the man was a giant marshmallow with knives sticking out.

But in this song? Let's look at the stanza with Paul in mind:

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms. - in the first line we have the 'oh shit Paul feelings incoming' klaxon of yesterday. Of course, John is allowed to reference yesterday without it necessarily being about Paul, but it's something to make a note of. Another is the dreaming. John often associates the Beatles/Paul with a dream, a fantasy, an illusion. Was his time with Paul/their closeness a dream? He is also ALLEGEDLY dreaming of Paul a lot during this period. The distance implied by yesterday also suggests a time period more applicable to Paul than Yoko/May.

The holding in arms with Paul in mind is ... well. There's no two ways about it it's unusual to think about a best friend like that. Taking out romantic implications for the sake of argument, firstly it doesn't have to be literal (just the idea of closeness) and second of all it would be like the fiftieth weirdest thing John said about Paul John has expressed similar sentiments of enjoying physical touch and closeness with a close mate.

And now a baby, and another on the way (laughs) la la la la la farm (laughs) - also needs manipulation here but still works. John's got a baby with his wife now Paul has a baby on the way with his wife yet their lives are completely separate. John could also be talking in extremes, Paul has just had a kid now another (he exaggerates the number of kids Paul has often). Paul lives on a farm, which John has been very focused on before (stttreeetch but maybe this is a point of comparison, they are still mirroring each other). The laugh here in this reading is a acknowledgement of vulnerability of the feelings he's singing about.

Why must we be alone? Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. (scats) - harder to reconcile with Paul but could be John's projection hours, I am feeling alone therefore Paul must ALSO be feeling alone (unagi or some shit).

So the stanza also works well if we take it to be about Paul. I've said this in a prev post but being about Paul also makes the rest of the song more coherent. John is upset about something he is trying to let go of but is struggling with, he references being everywhere yet remains depressed and troubled by something in his past. All of this fits with John's relationship with Paul. With Paul in mind, the call line at the end makes a lot more sense. He wants to call him, or them, his friends who he hasn't spoken to and misses.

The big supporting evidence for this one is of course the newspaper articles for the Daily News found by a user on here who has sadly deactivated.

To be honest, these are a bit of a holy grail find. With the newspaper articles in mind, a coherent, nearly perfect narrative falls neatly into place. John has woken up in a bad mood and upon reading the paper he sinks into a worse mood as he reflects back on his old time with the Beatles. He feels the need to let it go yet is resentful and embarrassed about doing so. The articles also explain a few oddities of the song, namely why John just comes out with the word cruise just after discussing the paper:

Picked up the paper. Read the Daily News. Nothing doing anyway. Same old BS. Doot doot doot doot cruise. Nah nah nah nah now. Let go. Let it go. (laughs) No, what am I doing? Why don't you let it go? Why don't you let it go? Mm, it's real life.

If we consider that the newspaper contained the article about cruises, it makes sense for it to come out as a subconscious/conscious association (have checked btw as the audio isn't clear and it's absolutely cruise, it's much clearer when you decide your hearing is worth less than a parasocial fascination with a dead dude). The newspaper containing info about Paul also illuminates the potential reference to Paul's song 'Suicide' in the Nothing Doing line and why the stanza seems to go off the rails once the newspaper is mentioned. It's all BS apparently (classic John defense mechanism in play) but once it gets brought up, John laughs, starts questioning what he's even doing writing this song and then gets angry with himself, cutting off the first half of the take. The derailment there could be he can't believe he's singing about the news OR that the newspaper contains the emotional point he's trying to get away from. He then does a few pithy lines about the beach and mountain before circling to actually what's bothering him, the lost intimacy with the person who has a baby on the way and renewed desire to call him. The way it all fits and slots together is borderline unreal.

Buuuuttt ... there's a problem. No matter how fitting, how magically perfect, how right-seeming a theory is, it doesen't necessarily mean it's true. For it to work fully, John would have had to have recorded this on one (or two at a stretch) specific day(s) out of the whole year. It could still be about Paul of course if you take out the newspaper article element, however there are other timing issues as well. According to Dogget, this demo should date to a recording collection from late 1977 when John was going through a depressive episode, the article is dated to early 1977. Shortening the window further, the Ono-Lennon's took a trip to Japan from Summer to October and the Mccartney's third child was born in September, meaning that if it is from late 1977, its unlikely to be about Paul.

Now Dogget could very well be mistaken and this demo is from earlier on in the year. From research, the only thing I could find about John and Yoko in February 1977 is them going to visit a friend a few hours away on the 16th, so from the limited evidence I have at my disposal, there isnt a reason why it couldn't have been produced in February (if anyone has any info on early 1977 please let me know and I'll amend accordingly). Additionally, John's moods were mercurial and his mental health never great, it wouldn't surprise me if he had bad days pretty consistently throughout the year.

To wrap this whole ass dissertation up, from the context within the song, context of the major players in his life, the emotional logic of the song and the repeated references in addition to the newspaper clipping, I am 70% confident that this demo is about Paul and that Dogget was incorrect in his attribution of the demo to late 1977. I believe instead that this was recorded in early 1977, specifically on February 9th 1977 as indicated in the newspaper article. However, I am more than willing to concede that I am working on less information than I would like about John's movements at that time in early 1977 and why Dogget placed all of these in the late 1977 grouping (I think just vibes but wasn't sure, the google books page had that bit blocked lol). Therefore I think that a less likely but still plausible second option is that the subject is May or even Yoko in late 1977 during John's extended period of depression.

Power to all of you who made it this far, let me know if you want me to take a hatchet to any more fandom darlings or if you have any thing to add! Also remember this is only my analysis so feel free to disagree (but like in a fun friendly way pls, it isn't that serious)!

[i-miss-summertime]

What's your Ianthony Orville Peck song analysis!? And I'd be interested in any other Ianthony song analysis pieces you want to share too!

anon, i love you for enabling me <3

The song I'm obsessing over for them specifically is "How Far Will We Take It" by Orville Peck and Noah Cyrus and the lyrics are so perfect for their time apart and early reunion (beautiful song as well btw, the production is great if anyone wants to listen lol)

This verse feels based in Ian's perspective in the between years. Continuously waking up and showing up to this business that started from this crazy thing he and Anthony both created and shared.

Then the second part where it feels like it speaks to his perseverance of being able to step up with Defy shut down and became president of Smosh. Anthony and other cast continuously mention how it couldn't have survived without Ian leading the ship and by the time Anthony came around again, it was still succeeding with Ian's hard work.

Second verse feels more like Anthony coming back. As much as he loves Smosh as well, what brought him back was his love to create with Ian. It's rooted in their friendship and being able to be with Ian again feels like a major aspect of what Anthony came back for. And also the visual of Ian welcoming him back and closing the door behind him like "you're here and we're in this together for the long haul" as they literally bought a company together (still baffling if I think about it long enough lol)

Also "felt the fire but couldn't see the flames" reads to me like Anthony feeling the anger and sadness of the last years at Smosh but not able to understand his negative emotions were aimed at Defy and not Smosh/Ian until later. Like feeling the pain but not able to identify the real source.

This part of the chorus and the line "I know that you felt the same" though! Even if Ian was more resistant to talk about their feelings during the NYC trip ("cause I've been waiting, don't wanna face it", they both felt things weren't the same and they weren't as close of friends. Neither of them could break through to each other in the state they were in being overworked, unhappy, and not having the chance to grow more as people.

"We're all alone now, how far will we take it?" like they had to have time separate and see how to succeed on their own. And they both did a really good job at it! They were both able to find ways to step up and push themselves as independent creatives without being Ian-and-Anthony. But even then, still not getting the real chance to find someone who could match their energy in their comedy writing and the pure history they have with one another as childhood friends ("No getting used to living without you"). They were still soul tired, even if they were doing well, they still felt the desire to be with each other regardless of a brand or company.

Now this last variation on the chorus kills me cuz it feels like early reunion to the max, I love it!

"I tried to love you" like shipper goggles aside, its very hard for men to be able to express love for their friends and it's clearly still not natural to them but they're trying! The I love you during Anthony's funeral? Clearly a bit awkward to get out but still he said he loved his friend!

"Cause I've been waiting, don't wanna waste it/ We're all alone now how far will we take it?"

This fully reads as them going independent from Mythical after buying back Smosh. They don't want to waste it, they know they want to do this as long as they possibly can and are working so hard for Smosh to succeed together.

They're alone but now they're alone together, Ian and Anthony at the helm of the ship again, now they're seeing how far they can take it :')

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I love your nuanced takes. They are always a joy to read.

I'd be curious which songs, beatles or solo, do you think they wrote for/about each other and their situation (beatles&solo).

You don't have to go into great detail on them if you don't wanna.

Hope you have a great day. <3

Hi anon :) Glad you enjoy my takes! Hope you have a great day too <3

Preface that while I think this is fun, I really don't generally think songs are a good vehicle to extrapolate about the real life of these people. So, I try not to base my analyses of them as people on these songs, even the ones I feel more strongly about.

I'll categorize these by how certain I am about them (and I'll leave out confirmed stuff like Too Many People, Early 1970, How Do You Sleep?, Run of the Mill, Here Today etc.)

If you have a question re: why some specific song is in this category and not the other I can try to explain, though some of it is admittedly just vibes (and since I try to separate this from the Main Analysis™, I feel okay utilizing the vibes as a justification at times lol) If I left a song off you'd like my take on feel free to ask as well.

Close to positive:

Day Tripper is imho at least partially about Paul. This one feels so obvious to me, given what John said about it and the timeline (written squarely before Paul took LSD, conveniently after the whole LA fiasco), yet I rarely see people talking about it. Sad! It could also be partially about Cynthia.

Tug of War: Paul said it was about John in 1982 but then retconned that. IDK why he did that but. Come on!

I Know (I Know): I nearly put this one a tier lower but the I've Got A Feeling intro and the way it fits in the timeline. The Getting Better reference. It matching up with Paul's description of them tripping together + "share in each other's mind". It's too much.

A compelling case can be made:

In My Life: it makes a lot of sense. But Paul isn't the only likely muse IMO. he might be the most likely one, I'm not sure. I Know (I Know) makes me tend more to it though, admittedly.

3 Legs: yeah. Probably! It's not entirely clear to me what he's expressing outside a feeling of betrayal though.

Oh! Darling: Likely about John, but perhaps actually about the band as a whole.

The Answer's at the End: the way George quoted that same saying when asked about Paul in that live chat… THE IMPLICATIONS! (at least that maybe George came to associate the song with Paul later on?)

Remember: I tend to think this song is specifically about running away from the Beatles. There's more sadness in it, given John references Bring It On Home in the lyrics.

Who Can See It: this one also appears to be about George's general relationship with the Beatles. I don't think this is a hot take but no one talks about this song lol. I love it!

Cafe On The Left Bank: the song referencing Charles de Gaulle making a speech does place this quite firmly in the 60s. It's not really a love song though so I don't get why people consider this one such a win lol. It seems to mostly be about the city of Paris itself.

I like to think it's true but am admittedly not sure:

Call Me Back Again: it's a vague song, really. But damn… those mellotron flutes.

#9 Dream: IDK. this versus "The dream is over". the production-style. I like reading this song as a reconciliation with The Beatles as a concept.

Little Lamb Dragonfly: the whole being haunted by the dragonfly even though you're trying to move on thing :/

No Words: COME ON??????? but the Denny writing credit does puzzle me lol.

Crippled Inside: it would be soooooo devastating @ Paul!!! (probably only partially, possibly also self-directed)

Could have been inspired by the other but not necessarily in the way people think:

Some People Never Know: I do think Paul felt John was cynical in the way he's describing in this song. (I don't really think I Know (I Know) is a response to this song btw)

Silly Love Songs: ditto. He is Not fucking saying "I love you" (romantically) to John in the song he's duetting with his wife lol. but it could be a cheeky lil nod.

We Can Work It Out: I believe Paul when he says this was written about a fight he'd had with Jane. But Paul was also in conflict with John at the time (again, the LSD thing), thus I think that might have in some way informed his outlook when writing this. And John may have been thinking about their conflict while writing his part.

Let Me Roll It: it sounds a lot like John, yeah! but idk about the lyrics.

Look At Me: it could be about Paul, but it could be about the whole world, really. It's more a wish to be seen and understood really.

Dear Boy: I'm annoyed by people insisting Paul is lying when he says the inspiration is Linda's ex-husband. She's co-credited (and she actually isn't credited on every Ram song. I don't think the credit was "handed" to her, at least not at this point in time)! That being said, Paul may have bonded with Linda over feeling unappreciated in their previous life situations.

Yvonne's The One: Look. I think John's death really shifted how Paul felt about telling people he loved them. That may well have influenced the lyrics song. I don't think it's necessarily that literal.

However Absurd: ditto. This song is even more abstract so it feels even less literal.

?????? Who Knows

If I Fell: usually I think no it couldn't possibly. But– (And I don't find that Valentines card very compelling, no. but it's just like: well then who else would this song John called very personal about? I guess, for all I know, it could even be Brian. wow!)

Girl: I mean. Maybe! Sort of. They also said at the time it was about religion, and that makes a lot of sense, but it could still be that the character of the girl was inspired by how John felt about Paul at the time.

I'm So Tired: it seems equally likely to be about Yoko to me.

Don't Let Me Down: ditto. Actually. this one's more likely Just about Yoko tbh.

I'm Losing You: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. but also. Yoko.

Now And Then: genuinely who knows. this one's admittedly stranger for Yoko but… they did "interrupt" their relationship often, requiring to "start again". Also May is an option.

The Pound Is Sinking: Mostly, I don't know how straightforward it is.

Honestly… Not really

(Just Like) Starting Over: the "My Love", "Another Day", "Wings" thing has never compelled me, based on those being OLD songs by 1980, plus none of the phrasing or word choice is particularly conspicuous to me. But I also don't feel very strongly that it's not about Paul. It could be, though I don't know that I'd assume it was meant as a direct declaration of love then. Also the line before being a reference to Through The Looking Glass is neither here nor there. Since when is John Lennon dropping Lewis Caroll references only reserved for Paul? that feels like putting the cart before the horse, based on one single lyric in Glass Onion.

I've Got A Feeling: I think he's just saying words here, tbh.

Real Love: if it's about Paul that's fucking depressing. But I don't think it is really.

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #7

All right you guys buckle the fuck up cause it's time for absolute peak. Yeah that's right I'm talkin PKNA #4: Earthquake bitch!!! Which also happens to be the EXACT VOLUME THEY STOPPED PRINTING IN ENGLISH FOR, come on man we were so close 😭

(Long and image-heavy post heehoo)

Giant money symbol on the floor..... I wonder who this oil rig belongs to

Donald stop doing some kind of ritualistic sacrifice with your little cookie men and drink ur fuckin coffee. Also Unooo hiiii :3c

A tectonic emergency has occurred on the west coast and these two bitches are busy arguing like an old married couple GET IT TOGETHER!!!!

Raw asf introduction panel for Flagstarr

Do you guys think Everett Ducklair paid his taxes

Most logical you say? I'm sure that's not a trait that will come up later-

BRO IS JUST BAILING 😭

Lmfaooo I love framing Angus Fangus for federal crimes get rekt bozo (also really good looking panels hii Flagstarr hiiiii)

Donald being held at gunpoint like a week after the whole nuclear blast thing, he really can't catch a break can he?

Btw I am CHEWING on the colors in these pages. Who knew purple and green gradients could be so menacing?

Looove the background of this page being made up of the X-transformer.... mwah 👌

sorry

(Spam don't read this part) OK listen I know that losing the west coast is bad and all, but also like, do we really need California? I'm just saying like-

PK: "IF WE DON'T STOP THOSE EARTHQUAKE MACHINES IT'S GONNA UNEARTH A SUPERCONTINENT AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL DIE" Uno: "Uuuuh idk that actually sounds kinda dope haha. Like a new continent sounds sick as fuck. Maybe we should just let the entire western US die idk lol"

THEY'RE GETTING DIVOOOOORCED 💔💔💔

btw guys I'm getting a playlist set up for this issue send me song recs

let go of him PK

I mean WOAH who said that that's crazy. heroes don't kill people umm do the right thing... also we need him for the code I guess that's important too-

I was explaining the plot of this comic to a friend (one who knows literally nothing about the duckverse) and she was like "oh Fairfax's motivations sound exactly like Team Magma from Pokemon Ruby" and like... yeah... I GUESS

It doesn't help that his design lowkey looks like Maxie in ORAS- like if you squint really hard-

I don't have any riveting commentary here I just adore the entire way this page is set up

Raw asf line coming from Donald Fauntleroy Duck

Yeah it really DIDN'T work out. You're telling me he wanted to keep the keys apart and his master plan was to give the second key to the only other person on the plane with him? Just huck it in the ocean or something cmon Fairfax use that big brain of yours-

I said before in my last post but I just love this issue. I'm sure someone better at literary analysis could explain better than me, but the artwork, the COLORS, the story is all just sooo good and I'm putting it all in my MOUTH. I especially love the messaging between doing what's logical and doing what's right, cause at the end of the day morality is a subjective human trait, and who's to say that killing millions of people for the potential benefit of billions isn't a noble thing to do? Also a rare Uno L in this issue but he's LEARNING okay. He's just a little guy he's just a little hyperintelligent sentient building ok.... leaf him alone........

Btw in case you haven't noticed by now this issue also happens to be what the blog description of @duckblr-book-club is based on and no I'm not the one that wrote that. It is true though, the Pangea Project will be real in 24 hours if certain people don't catch up on reading these comics. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR ODIN TIME!!!!!!

[ratwars]

Who do you think is the deepest character in diabolik lovers and whyyyyyy :3 (sorry if this is weird btw :,))

Tomà out here activating my dialovers derangement syndrome 🥲 ty ty ty also sry sry sry in advance 🙏💜

Minors dni with this post

This is not weird omg no one ever asks me about dialovers you need to understand I was into VNs including otome before I was into any anime (including bsd) and diabolik lovers is my longest term obsession that isn't music 💜🙏 This is mostly going to involve things from the games (because the anime was basically silly fanservice that barely scratches the surface for anyone) but I'll leave out drama cd stuff because I would actually need to go refresh myself on those.

Absolute novel under the cut sorry. also cw noncon, cw dubcon, cw abuse, cw csa, cw suicide, cw matricide

Anyone not familiar with the series who decides to continue pls be aware of these warnings and take care of yourself. Also pls understand everything I say is in terms of the series and setting. Absolutely nothing that happens in these games would make any of these characters redeemable irl. This is fiction and a trashfire Do-S fetish franchise. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse. I don't condone any of the bad behavior from this series irl. (Sorry since this isn't my sideblog I feel I need to explain this so ppl don't come at me thinking I'm excusing stuff for reals with this little analysis)

Also this is probably going to have spelling mistakes and horrific formatting because I wrote it on mobile so my bad on that too.

This was so hard to answer because so many of them have serious trauma, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and large amounts of growth throughout the various sequels. I think you could make the logical argument of depth for every single character. The Sakamaki triplets are def the most tragic of the first two games in this regard though (maybe only rivaled by the Tsukinami brothers once we get to Dark Fate because of the whole being the sole survivors of genocide thing)

But as a whole I think Carla and Shin deal with their predicaments in a more outwardly focused manner (which makes sense given their stories and roles as antagonists in their debut game) so I don't think I could objectively call them the deepest esp Carla even though he is my fave.

So out of the Sakamaki triplets I am going to go with Laito. Shocking I know because I have said before he is the one I am the most terrified of. But hear me out.

(I'm using HBD (haunted dark bridal) to refer to the first game, and MB (more blood) to refer to the second game going forward)

His first route in hdb is a stomach twisting mess of isolation, noncon, gaslighting and victim blaming. It is also the only route in that game where Yui tries to kill herself, which imo is really notable. Tbh the first time I played it I was so deeply uncomfortable I didn't really give his character a lot of thought. During replays and some of his drama cds though it def changed my perspective of him (in terms of the deepness of his character, not my dislike of him)

Here are my arguments in topical format because I don't really want to go through and do the research needed to refresh myself and make this chronological. Also if I am mistaken with anything I've paraphrased my bad it's because this isn't a real essay more of a rant that you might regret reading lol.

- Cordelia

We can't go into the rest of my arguments without the facts. He was groomed by his mother and experienced a childhood of CSA at her hands. And he is absolutely confused and suffering when he has his flashbacks. Yes he kills her with the other two triplets, but that didn't actually solve anything for him internally, and I think it is a pretty clear-cut argument that his negative traits and behaviors can be linked back to his unresolved trauma from this. He even says it himself too when he tries to project onto Yui and claim her hatred for him must be the same as his for Cordelia (though unnamed in his quote im pretty sure) that a hatred can run so deep that even killing the person won't relieve the burning. The other ironic part of this is that in the dialovers universe it is explained multiple times that the highest act of love for a vampire is murder. So. Every LI (Reiji, Laito, Ayato, Kanato) that committed matricide out of their hatred probably has some deeper more complex feelings going on than that. (You could also argue maybe a similar thing about Carla and patricide as well though he is Founder/First Blood not vampire. But he is more open about his reasoning and feelings around his parents and why he did what he did imo)

- His disdain of purity (plot twist. It's jealousy).

We repeatedly see him mock both Yui's purity and religiosity. He is arguably the worst out of all of the LIs when it comes to this topic, and hits this point right out the gate when he assaults her in the abandoned church. It is simultaneously a logical and also weird choice on his part to continue on with when you realize how unwavering her faith actually is, and if you do other routes before this one you are already coming in realizing no matter how much she "breaks", "changes", or "gives in" in other ways, she never actually abandons her faith completely even in future games when she is living quite literally in the demon world. Even in routes where she becomes a vampire she doesn't eschew God. However it is canon that she is a devout Catholic and that she originally wanted to be a nun (before the events of the game screw that up for her), so it is still relevant.

While it may have started as a way to try and break her down, it really becomes more and more clear through his routes that like a bunch of his other behaviors, he is projecting his own struggles onto Yui.

He is jealous of her purity, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her faith, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her unwavering belief in goodness and in humanity, so he just. keeps. attacking. it. Because seeing it exist in front of him hurts, but especially early on he isn't aware of his own emotions or why he acts the way he does. So many things in his routes and his monologues highlight the fact that Laito views himself as permanently dirtied by his past, and this behavior is tied to that.

- His inability to identify his feelings from his fake front and his use of sex to maladaptively deal with his trauma.

** I wrote way too much on this and decide nvm I think even if someone has only seen the anime his hypersexuality probably speaks for itself. Plus this is getting so long 😔**

-His lack of control in MB and "forced" behavior. His confusion over his own tears near the end of HDB.

There are various instances (esp in MB where his characterization is wildly different and desperate compared to HDB) where we see his mask start to crack, or realize that his mask wasn't actually very good to begin with and the exhaustion from the continous abuse in his routes has caused both Yui (and us as the reader) to fall for his bullshit more easily. He plays the part of a pervert, but Shu (who arguably is a massive pervert) calls him out in MB for being a phony. His behavior in MB makes him come across as desperate and out of control, as opposed to his calculated sadism in HDB. This all comes back to his inner turmoil, unresolved feelings, and trauma and we slowly unpeal those layers through the rest of the series.

I think at baseline it is really easy to dismiss Laito. I did from the beginning too. Plus he never stops calling Yui Bitch-chan no matter how many sequels he gets 🤦‍♂️ But that is just falling for his fake front, exactly what he wants you to do because then he can just keep carrying on without dealing with his bs and let off steam temporarily in the process. But under the surface there is a lot more going on. And he definitely is a character that has an insane amount of depth.

Sorry for the multi part novel. I don't even like him as an LI even in this series. But for a series with so many inconsistencies, retcons across games, and questionable writing choices, they did a good job with his character. I just need him to stay far away from both me and Yui 🥲 Imagine if you had asked me something that prompted me to talk about my faves 💀💀💀

[landwriter]

Oh my god your writing has me in a choke hold!!! I’m curious about Hands and/or Shut Up, please! Your brain is amazing and lovely and I’m very excited to hear anything you have to share about your WIPs💚

Thank you so much! I've got a couple Hands asks marinating and nothing to offer for them yet, so Shut Up is the Twitter Beef AU (another excerpt here) where Hob is a comparative lit professor and Dream is an underground electronic artist, and Hob comes for him on Twitter. Death meddles and drops a diss track. Hob finds out at his last lecture before hols and plays it for his course in a fit of pique, and...ends up having the best two hours of his teaching career?

He slides into Dream's DMs for the first time under the cut:

He catches sight of the time and is surprised to see it’s five minutes past the hour. Normally, his cue is when a handful of students start pointedly packing their things in the last few minutes of the lecture. “Okay, we’ve gone on too long, because you’re all still here, letting me, but I do need to get to office hours, so let me conclude with the argument that this is why textual analysis is so important, right? The author chooses their words to say more than one thing, and, as we learned, having additional knowledge of where they’re coming from - historically, socially, culturally - is the real Rosetta stone for understanding their message. I encourage you to think about that while you choose your final paper topics over break. A final reminder that your draft thesis is due on our first week back, and yes, I will be able to tell if you came up with it that morning, so please, please, give it some thought. If anyone feels keen and wants to talk about their ideas now, you know where to find me. Office hours go until 6. Alright, go, be free. My apologies to anyone who was excited for Marlowe - we’ll cover him when we come back instead! Have an amazing break, folks.”

Students are coming over already and he holds up a quelling hand. “Office hours, guys. I have other classes! I’ll see you there.”

It’s true, of course, but also he wants just a quick moment to himself to do something. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he pulls out his phone and ignores all his notifications to send a DM to Morpheus before he can think too hard on what he’s doing.

didn't know you needed to be protected by your big sis, next time i'll go easier on you x

He hesitates, deletes the x, and sends it, and jams his phone back into his pocket. After his office hours - exhaustingly well-attended - he finally has a chance to check his phone again. He's not used to actually having three hours worth of students to talk to.

There's three messages from Morpheus.

she insisted also i wrote most of it for the record

He raises his eyebrows. The messages are from nearly two hours ago, which he hopes means it's not uncool and weird if he replies right now.

it was you? it's incredible writing

Then, feeling suddenly far too earnest, he quickly adds:

almost like you went to school for being something other than a pretentious goth cunt

His reply is marked read immediately and he nearly chokes on his tea. He desperately wishes he could delete the last message now. Too much, he thinks. Always too much, Hobsie. Morpheus is typing.

don't need to go to school for that x and thanks

He puts down his phone violently and stands up, breathes out. He feels like a teenager with a crush. His phone buzzes again and he snatches it back.

meanwhile i bet u have student loans still prof

Hob laughs.

only a little. some of us had to learn how to be pretentious actually x

He thinks for a moment, then adds, wincing a little at the size of the text block:

thanks btw. aside from threats from ur insane fans I also had the best lecture attendance in ages and my office hours were 'sold out' lol. if all I had to do for better student engagement was get in an internet feud with a random musician I'd have done it years earlier.

so u concede i'm a musician :)

you still have terrible taste in shoes hey i see you typing if you say anything about my sweatervest i'm blocking you!!

then have a good night, professor gadling

you too

Then he waits a little too long, maybe, before adding:

morpheus

[roobylavender]

im fairly new to batcomics so forgive me for this dumb ask/being uninformed, but do you ever have like. doubt in your reading for bruce as a character, or feel bleak about it (?) im aware you dont really like the reading of him as an abuser, but from what ive seen he most often does emotional neglect/distance and parentification of a child, which /are still/ abuse, and this happens very consistently. from what i can tell there is more evidence of him being a bad parent than otherwise. people often say hes incapable of having a child without messing them up beyond repair, and from what ive seen that rings true😭 i also know you said u dont like alot of his modern portrays, but these types of abuse also occur in older comics as well from what i can tell. i myself often have doubt (perhaps this is because i havent read everything yet and im still informing myself on his character)-that maybe this /is/ just his character, bc of HOW consistent the pattern is. idk if im really asking a specific question. im more so wondering what your thoughts are, like on parentificafion of his kids and emotional neglect/distance, would this be different if DC portrayed him more empathetically/based on your reading, and/or is he just fundamentally unable to parent someone without abusing them like some ppl say. i understand i may have just opened a whole can of worms lol but im so curious

you are totally fine! canon is quite overwhelming in both volume and scope, and conversations about bruce being an abuser definitely dominate at present (not wrongfully btw), so i don't blame people for ascribing to them early on. i will say at least from what i have read (and i will admit here that my pre-bronze age reading is not nearly as consistent as my post-bronze age reading so i have kept less track of specific writers and runs there) that i think the aspects that largely define present interpretations of bruce as an abuser tend to take from canon post-crisis onward. so that's probably why in a sense it looks like bruce has "always" been an abuser, bc realistically speaking if you're a new dc reader it makes most sense to start with the aftermath of the crisis and go from there. most conversations about "canon" tend to be about post-crisis canon (ie what has taken place on new earth/prime earth) and usually when you're looking up batman reading lists they will start with year one rather than with anything in pre-crisis. the crisis was nearly forty years ago after all! it covers a lot of territory and unless you're a really dedicated comic reader with a lot of time on your hands i don't think most people have the time or energy to go further back (to no fault of their own obv)

all that being said. pre-crisis canon is obv not monolithic in nature and there are definitely blogs out there who have dedicated themselves to compiling individual issues or moments they would personally interpret as evocative of abusive behaviors on bruce's behalf. i don't think that's inherently wrong to do per se and to each their own reading but my primary divide with that practice is that it's often performed within a vacuum. to me the most important thing when it comes to being a comics reader (or any kind of reader really) is taking into account real life context and genre conventions. how do the politics or culture of the time shape the way a given narrative is written and with what tone it's written? all of that is crucial to incorporate into an analysis. i'm going to use a pretty famous example of why. world's finest comics #153 (1965) is the origin of a pretty famous panel you may be familiar with:

on its face this looks pretty bad (and it'll actually factor into when i discuss parentification later) but contextually this issue imagined an alternate reality wherein superman was responsible for the death of bruce's parents and subsequently became the face of bruce's relentless revenge and pursuit of criminal activity. obv that's not a bruce who actually exists in reality and this was merely written for the sake of exaggeration and entertainment but it can also give rise to some interesting questions about what the writer here was specifically trying to satirize and why. primarily it's obv trying to poke some fun at the idea of bruce's crusade to begin with (which i am sure most people would agree was quite cartoonish in the early decades of dc despite the more layered portrayal and analysis it was afforded in later decades). but what's also pertinent here is the sort of "natural" exaggeration of bruce's dynamic with dick. in even as far back as the original bob kane comics, bruce and dick had a dynamic where dick was comedically portrayed as the more morally responsible one of the two. it wasn't much reason for concern back then bc the stakes weren't nearly as high and dick's tendency to question some of bruce's decisions (eg his tendency to always let selina go or to allow some villains to die horrifically) was almost always played off with a laugh. but the foundation was still there and you can recognize it in these panels despite that foundation obv being taken to an extreme. all of which is to say: the portrayal of bruce as an abuser largely depends on what a writer is willing to exaggerate, and why, and how. this issue was obv a one-off with no relevance to actual canon but it was nonetheless a peek into what that dynamic between bruce and dick could look like given a writer willing to pursue a darker tone and to explore the potential extremes of what was on its face merely a gag

the novelty of cape comics is that they are a place to explore anything and everything. extremes are possible bc no writer/artist and no editorial staff are ever on a book forever. what creatives want to explore with what they're given can hugely vary esp if a particular editorial staff is liberal enough to allow that exploration. and i think it's fair to say that a lot of writers are interested by the idea of that what if the above issue explored. not out of malice per se but certainly out of a growing curiosity as to how far disbelief with respect to the internal reality of cape comics can actually be suspended. the big question for batman in the 80s was whether having a kid sidekick constituted child abuse. this was primarily explored via the starlin run that ended in a death in the family. and obv following that we got the triple whammie of year three, a lonely place of dying, and knightfall. these arcs to me were what really cemented the foray into parentification in batman comics. the fledgling idea of it had always existed in a sense. dick was the more morally upright character of the two known for chiding some of bruce's decisions. he was the leader of the original teen titans, who historically demanded more respect and support of their mentors (i do not think it all inconsequential that dick and roy were developed so closely). and increasingly as we moved from the bronze age into the modern age we saw a dick who simultaneously desired to be independent of bruce and to be recognized by him. so the components to take that fledgling idea to its natural extreme were all there. editorial merely had to create the right circumstances to mesh those components together, and those circumstances were the buildup to and execution of the death of jason todd

i really do not think it can be underestimated in any sense what an enormous impact that event has had on the entire bat mythos at large. beyond utterly shattering the readers' suspension of disbelief wrt sidekicks' place in cape comics what a death in the family did was create an unavoidable void. this was not an event that could merely be skimmed over and moved on from. the aftermath and the consequences had to be dissected to their fullest extent otherwise batman editorial risked falling into the exact same problem the crisis was written to avoid: circular and aimless continuity. everything had to have concrete, forward moving direction and the consequences had to matter long term for there to be meaningful character development. so when you created the circumstances for a child dying bc batman had him gallivanting around as a masked vigilante, he had to retreat into his shell and utterly fall apart from the guilt of it all while everyone else fought like hell to keep him standing. it was pretty riveting and compelling. knightfall is probably one of my favorite arcs ever despite how utterly boring it is bc the introspection into bruce and his breakdown following jason's death was superb. but the circumstances it created for everyone else in bruce's vicinity to act like his emotional crutch while he took the next decade to recover obv had significant long-lasting consequences. dick had to be relegated to acting as the go-to family man rather than ever again pursuing his own dreams as he had in the 80s and early 90s. when jason came back he had to deal with all of bruce's grief and guilt being projected onto him while his own concerns went unheard. tim had to spend his teenage years deluding himself into believing he was the only one who could hold gotham together while bruce was falling apart. cass had to expend an enormous effort trying to prove herself to bruce bc all of the built up circumstances from the last decade drove him to insane paranoia about having sidekicks at all. and damian had to deal with whatever bruce had become by the time all of that was over

all of this to say: do i think bruce was always meant to become an abuser? not really. but did editorial avail themselves of and relentlessly pursue narrative circumstances that allowed that path to be realistically taken? absolutely. it's ultimately a debate of whether or not you agree they should have taken that direction long term. and i know it may look like i would probably be a hard no on that but personally i find myself more in the middle between these two imaginary camps. bc i'm not unsatisfied with what knightfall explored. i found it hugely interesting to explore the natural conclusion of bruce taking all burdens upon his shoulders and making himself highly vulnerable to collapse bc he refused to open up to anyone out of a fear of burdening them in turn. but knightfall was also followed by contagion and legacy and no man's land and murderer and fugitive. it was bruce taking one hit after another until he was utterly ripped to the core and had to start over from scratch and ig that's what i fundamentally disagree with. i don't think they needed to have gone any further than where knightfall took him and to me the end of knightfall should have signaled that bruce was ready to turn a new leaf where he could healthily balance his emotional commitments without letting them be guided by fear. publishing comics takes a long time so i think people often forget that despite there being a decade worth of comics between the events i immediately listed above what actually transpired in real time in the pages was two years or less. if we want to go all of the way back to a death in the family and account for that as well it becomes four years. four years isn't at all a long time nor is it unsalvageable. but by the time knightfall was over i truly think editorial was so obsessed with its own ideas on exploring bruce's collapse that it failed to see little else in the way of that. everything became about how people responded to him rather than about how bruce responded to the world. ironically by being the main character of his books he became the maker of his own demise. bc everything and everyone had to relate to him and his problems first before they could ever have any of their own. that is why keeping him in a perpetual state of emotional collapse has been so profitable. it is the easiest way to tell a story without ever having to make an effort on anyone else in it

note: one clarification i forgot to make earlier is that everything i wrote above is specifically with respect to bruce’s emotional abuse. i personally think there is zero justification for bruce’s physical abuse and that it can’t actually be extrapolated from anything about him as a character at the core, so whenever writers resort to it in the pages i dismiss it completely

[fallingsunflower]

Harry Styles Body Language 

Hellooo okay here we go. This is just my educated opinion. I have minor experience in body language analysis through my studies (I'm in graduate school currently for psychology) and through work (I used to work in a behavioral school and a psychiatric hospital). None of this is meant to be a diagnosis or taken to be 100% real. Like I said, it's just an opinion.

I've done seldom analyses before. The original ask was asked A WHILE ago and they requested Olivia be included. That was before the stunt ended so I really don't want to bring her back up now lol I'll put some links down below of other analyses I've done if you're interested though x

Holivia body language

Harry's general facial expressions with/without Olivia

Another facial expression comparison

Yacht pics analysis

Olivia body language

I also did a regular Harry one a while ago but I can't for the life of me find it.

This is a general Harry analysis. I will do one about him with men soon, and Kendall since that was requested.

I suspect Harry is quite shy and probably somewhat anxious. He definitely doesn't come off like this all the time. I call it the "anxiety clause". There are certain situations in which shy people come out of their shell. I also think Harry is well trained to appear more extraverted than he actually is. He's pretty hard to read tbh but I'll tell you a little of why I think the way I do.

Harry does this thing every now and then where he covers his face with one or both of his hands when he's laughing, or in some kind of shocking/attention grabbing scenario. Could be read as someone who's hiding behind a shield. And tying into that, it could be read as someone who just needs a moment to process. It's a brief act of the body saying "whoah I need a moment to take this all in and digest what's happening". You have the wrists turned inward towards the face (a subconscious thing people do when they feel vulnerable or feel like they need to protect themselves) and you have the eyes being covered shielding off that sense. Everyone has some kind of motion they subconsciously do while protecting themselves. Some have more obvious ones than others, like this. Traditionally speaking, it exhibits traits of a protector vs a "hunter", for lack of a better word.

It's also a trait of embarrassment.

He also does this thing with his hands where he balls them up. I think some people call it "sweater paws" depending on what he's wearing. This is usually associated with nervousness or anxiety. It's a comfort tick people do to calm down, again mostly subconsciously.

And yes I KNOW he could just be cold but I'm making my analysis based on a plethora of factors 😭

Also speaking of hands, he plays around a lot with his. Like his hands are always fidgeting. I noticed this A LOT at the MSG show I went to when I was in Pit. It was painfully obvious. Like fidgeting with the mic, the mic wire, his ear piece, etc. I think that's partially why he likes playing the guitar while performing. Keeping your hands preoccupied helps with nervousness.

Tip: if you ever get anxious, roll a hair pin back and forth between your fingers.

He also touches his hair and lips a lot, which are typically lumped with anxiety. One doesn't equal the other btw. Just saying what they're usually related to.

And then I usually pay attention to posture and other subtle nonverbal cues. I could go on and on about it but sometimes Harry stands somewhat unsure of himself, or he subconsciously makes himself smaller. It's not always equal to anxiety or nervousness. It could also just be him being introverted, shy, or even sad. Sometimes posture is dependent on mood, rather than personality. And sometimes there are cultural differences. We all have nonverbal cues - that's universal. But keep in mine I'm from the US while Harry is from England. There might be some cultural differences.

These ^ are things I usually look for. And there are way more examples but this is just a basic visual. Harry generally falls under the closed posture.

These are some general examples of closed posture. You can probably find more also. I usually look for hand/arm placement.

Hands behind the back, or crossed arms/folded hands is typically a way of cutting off communication or putting a barrier between yourself and another person.

Now sometimes yes, hands behind back can mean confidence or superiority, but I look at other things to accompany it too. I look at posture, facial expressions, and if the muscles are relaxed or not. So based on my opinion, I think it's solely just Harry shielding himself. It could be read a couple different ways but again, this is my opinion.

And the "groin blocking" is usually something people do when they're nervous or insecure. It could also be a submissive thing, or an indicator of shyness.

Also yes these aren't the best examples and it's not how Harry is 1000% of the time, but it's something I've noticed.

These are examples of open posture in regards to sitting:

And to differentiate between a casual stance and a shy/closed stance, I usually look at a couple different variables. It's not just about the hands. It's about the posture. It's about the content being discussed. It's about the environment. There's a lot more going into it than just saying "oh look at where his hands are". You can't make a fair assumption on just one thing. Not that any of my assumptions are 100% fair - obviously they're not because I don't know Harry personally - but I try to analyze the best I can when needed.

There's also one other picture I cannot find for the life of me. It's Harry sitting down in 2020, and he's wearing a sweater vest. He just looks so shy in that picture. It's one of my main arguments and I literally can't find the pic. If someone knows what I'm talking about, please send it to me.

Anyways, these are just my thoughts. I could talk more about it too but those are my main, initial thoughts :)

[missingn000]

oh WOW where do i even begin with this chapter. okay maybe higuruma and nobara because you've gotten me all invested (again) in a pair that's never actually met in canon. pfpk will get their turn later in this ask lol so dw!

so higuruma and nanami finally meet again!! fuck yeah!! the "you talk all high and mighty" was a nice throwback, but that domain expansion joke was AWFUL. like... "lighten up" ?? um?? higuruma ?? all that aside, i found his description as a "dark figure" that "eclipses Nanami like a silhouette" really neat - it goes really well with their roles as each other's foils! no better way to hammer it in than with a symbolic image from another person's perspective :D

Nanami is the type of dad she’s always wanted, but Higuruma is the one she has. 

i hope u know i reread their fight in ch34 as a refresher and wow i need to write a separate analysis for that one sometime... anyway, it's just really interesting to me how nanami, higuruma's character foil, is the one who manages to earn nobara's respect! both of them have seen the worst of what humanity has to offer, but where higuruma came out of it disillusioned and despairing, nanami was lucky enough to have encountered yuuji & toge before the bleakness of it all could truly set in. the same can be said of the reverse! on the other hand, nobara and higuruma found each other at what was quite possibly the lowest point in their lives; higuruma was grappling with the crippling emotional aftermath of his and nanami's ideological clash, and nobara's grandmother literally just died. they may not realise it yet, but they're reliant on each other to make it through

also the parallel you drew between nanami holding back from killing nara & higuruma murdering the village sheriff Hit me like a fuckin truck. one of nobara's main arguments against higuruma is that he's a literal murderer, which is a very valid and fair thing to be upset over, BUT, and this is an important distinction, while nanami may come off as the ideal parent (in nobara's eyes), higuruma is the one she does have - and needs. and vice versa. also:

Toge expects her to ruminate, but almost immediately: “Thanks, but no thanks,” Nobara declares. “He said to come home whenever, right? That guy can’t cook for his life. I gotta make fun of his shitty dinner.”

he gave her a home!! got it in (...verbal?) writing and all!! the fact she's willing to acknowledge this in front of the ff is so significant too. higuruma says that "she'd be the first to tell you she's not my daughter," but her actions say otherwise! even if unconventional, lol. higuruma wasn't allowed past the threshold this time, but it's obviously just a matter of time and i can't wait. wonder what she has against toji but i'm not gonna dive into that rn. speaking of which - nobara's main issue (with regard to her fighting style) is that she tries too hard, which holds her back, right? i feel like that's also applicable to other parts of her life as well, so of course it'd seep into the way she approaches combat. clever, i like that!

megumi saying to gojo that "sometimes I wish I’d told you sooner that I love you too" absolutely ruined me, esp considering his silence in ch13. which i just read yesterday. don't do this to me. anyway, it's such a small thing, but it really shows how far they've come and it means the world to me! i would elaborate but this """ask""" is getting long enough as is </3

AND NOW

PFPK TIME

alternative title: reincarnated sorcerer tries to navigate the 21st century with a whimsical curse as their sole guide, it goes about as well as you'd expect

really fascinated by the descriptions of mahito's exaggerated imitations of human behaviour, btw. these are my favourites:

Mahito bursts into a jarring cackle.

He folds his arms with a vacant grin.

They wish he wouldn’t laugh like that. It sounds so real. 

all of it feels so staged. artificial. because it is - he copies what he sees humans do, to varying degrees of success. sometimes his attempts are hollow. sometimes they're startlingly... accurate, and blur the lines:

Mahito says, wiping a tear duct, and that’s just wrong. Only people should be able to laugh so hard they cry.

even though mahito actively messes with humans, he's... simultaneously deeply fascinated by them, going so far as to observe and copy their mannerisms AND retain a humanoid form. considering he's able to modify his body, it's not a stretch to assume he quite literally has to maintain his appearance-- but why bother putting in that much effort? if everything he does is a mimicry of the original, why does he bleed red? why does his name mean true person? the parts of himself that he has no control over are unsettlingly, undeniably human. really, he's doomed from the beginning, even though he tries to use his 'curse instincts' to distinguish himself from them.

AND - WAIT FOR IT - that's exactly he's so afraid of making a digestive system!! if he succeeds, he'll be crossing that invisible (and self-made, imo) line that differentiates curse from human. imitate the latter as he might, he still holds himself as separate from them, and he's not going to do anything that threatens that belief. on a subconscious level, he probably knows the truth, which is why he doesn't even try to prove kashimo wrong.

“Then I’ll fight you,” they murmur, beneath the booming crackle of pyrotechnics going out in a final blaze of glory, sacrificing themselves in the victoryless war raging in the heavens above.  “So look forward to it.”

wow. y'know, fireworks in chinese & japanese culture are apparently symbolic of warding off evil. fitting kashimo would talk about trying to kill mahito then, huh? :)

you already know what i think about the gojo-kashimo character foil but i'm putting it here again for easier reference in the future:

something gojo and kashimo share in common is strength (supposedly) being their defining trait, but there're some subtle differences here, namely in how they use it: in gojo's opinion, there's no point in being strong if you can't protect the people who matter most to you. in kashimo's eyes, though, it’s completely reversed. having an emotional crutch is "embarrassing," a hindrance more than anything else, the complete opposite of gojo's mentality. to them, you discard human bonds to become strong. to gojo, you become strong to preserve the people you've formed those bonds with.

the third time gojo and toji tried to kill each other, it was for highly personal reasons. but in kashimo’s and mahito’s hopefully hypothetical future fight ("Then I'll fight you"), it seems to be less about a personal vendetta than being the one to decide how their dearest person’s story will end.

There’s so little you can hold onto, in this world. If you can’t cherish something, maybe it’s enough to decide how you have to let it go.

KAY OH MY GOD. HI

ive already said this to you BUT this comment is everything to me. your analyses are always so insightful and on point dude, it's SO flattering that you put this much time, effort, and consideration into the themes & symbols in this monstrosity 😭❤️️ warm and fuzzies. like my heart is next to a fireplace

OKAY NOW FOR THE COMMENT ITSELF. more below cut!

nanami & higuruma meet again!! yes!! i just had to give higuruma a weird, off-putting joke, considering that "i'm a lawyer, so talking to me costs ¥5,000 every half hour" quip he gave yuuji during his introduction. his dynamic with nanami is so interesting to me, because out of all character foil duos they're definitely the most alike. which is why it's so interesting that you pointed out how nanami is the one who managed to earn nobara's respect; that "Nanami is the type of dad she’s always wanted, but Higuruma is the one she has" line physically hurt me to type. OW. the angst. they totally met at rock bottom, and i don't think they can climb back up without each other, either: you got it totally right that higuruma is the dad she needs!!

they're both already growing. higuruma now realizes nanami was actually lucky to not have to kill toge's aunt, because he saw firsthand the damage murdering the sheriff caused to his relationship with nobara. and nobara realizes she has a home!!! she's wanted!! even though she thinks he "probably didn't mean it like that," the fact that she's willing to hope already speaks volumes to how much she's grown in her short time with him.

dfghjk that megumi line...ive also mentioned this to you but gojo & megumi have one of my favorite canon found family relationships of all time. they're everything to me. i will put gojo & megumi fluff and angst wherever possible. this is a threat

ANYWAY.

PFPK.

i feel like im just gonna repeat what weve talked about in messages but YEAH, that constant sense of "off"-ness about mahito where he's just close enough to seeming human to give someone pause, but inhuman enough to show that he's dangerous. how much of it is an act and how much of it is real? it's a line unclear to even mahito sometimes. you can only pretend for so long before you either get too tired to continue or it genuinely becomes a part of you -- if it wasn't a part of you all along, and you just didn't know how to express it. mahito's "human" act is never one he's continually had to play, because he had some semblance of alone time to go off and commit atrocities.

but he's around a human 24/7 now. he constantly has to figure out how to react to external stimuli in the most human way possible, and i don't think he wants to admit how naturally it comes to him. mahito is born from human hatred: but the thing is, hatred goes so much deeper than just animosity towards others. it's self-hate, it's hate towards your own weaknesses, hating feeling a certain way and not being able to do anything to fix it. i think this is why mahito has such a wide emotional range in canon: hate is a multi-dimensional emotion. hate is fear, grief, anger. i always joke that being a hater fuels me, but to an extent it's actually true -- it's cathartic, y'know? it's fun to hate. you can love to hate. and you can hate to love.

GOJO AND KASHIMO...i was looking in our chat at for my response to this analysis and it was something along the lines of "RATTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGE" which is really in character for me but not great for, uh, actual analytical responses. of all the character foils, i think kashimo and gojo are the most different -- polar opposites, but with that one disturbing, awful similarity about dooming their own partners. it fucking sucks to care about who they each respectively care about, and kashimo won't even admit it, so gojo's really got his work cut out for him. poor guy, dude's dealing with enough already without having to instigate inconvenient realizations in some guy over 20 times older than him

GOD. of course you'd call attention to that last line. i won't lie, "There’s so little you can hold onto, in this world. If you can’t cherish something, maybe it’s enough to decide how you have to let it go" is definitely one of my favorite things i've ever written. it fucking HURTS and represents so much about this story. i need to lie down

THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE!! i seriously have parts of it memorized. i'm sure we'll continue to discuss/screech over all these things and i greatly look forward to it

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy

[kokitschi]

1. i love your blog sm kokichi is my favourite character (mayyyybe besides tsumugi but if so he's a CLOSE second. maybe even on par.) and your enthusiasm makes my WHOLE day i love it so much

2. (if you don't mind me responding to your post in ask format. if not feel free to ignore lol) I don't think what Kokichi suffers from enough to cause his death is self-hatred. I think it's self-apathy, and that messes me up UNIMAGINABLY so i HAVE to get it off my chest.

I think the fact that Kokichi is so enthusiastic about so many things (real or fake, he undeniably acts it, and at the very LEAST we know he cares about the death game. and i like to think he just cares about games in general. i think his special interest is chess but that's a headcanon for another post-) and he cares so little about his own life that he'd WILLINGLY do that to himself, for any reason, is absolutely DEVASTATING. I don't think he cares enough about his own life to hate it. He constantly uses himself as just a 'piece' or a 'character' in his own little method of winning (surviving - and helping other people to survive, too) the game (goddamn the chess metaphors at it again 😔), from pretending to be the mastermind, to playing devil's advocate every. single. trial. to lying and covering up evidence during trials, to finally, literally killing himself to get what he wants. He detaches himself so much FROM himself that when the time comes that his death is beneficial, he's like "yeah, seems legit" and just. does it.

(Sidenote: I find it incredibly ironic that everyone sees him as this master manipulator, and the person he manipulates most successfully is himself. Anyway-)

(sorry for the word vomit! your post just got me THINKING and i love character analysis so much AUGH themes and narratives and characters rotating in my head at all times. i cannot not speak about it.)

me rn:

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

-

that is a very good point! personally i've always seen him as rather depressed but he's grown very apathetic - he accepted himself as a bad person who won't change. you're right - he does not care about himself.

i also think that he isn't insecure. i think he knows what he's capable of perfectly well. so he's like "okay, if i don't do this - who will?"

because most of the others are still in conflict with themselves, they're unsure about what to do and that makes them slow to act.

i don't think that kokichis some perfect machine who has completely turned off his emotions, at all, but he's better at it than most.

because, like you said, he's very detached from himself - he's a game piece, he's playing the role of the antagonist. he's just doing what's meant for his role.

i imagine that he still has his conscience screaming at him though.

and i think that kinda bleeds into his actions, almost but not exactly subconsciously if that makes sense.

like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call.

-

btw, i must tell you, this part: "He detaches himself so much FROM himself that when the time comes that his death is beneficial, he's like "yeah, seems legit" and just. does it." has got my brain on zoomies. it's like. yeah. that's so so so fucked. i love it

-

BTW hard same on the chess hc and i also like tsumugi a lot!! (though more as a concept)

i dunno how accessible this fic is for non-umineko fans but a fic that encapsulates both of ^these things is this one. one of my faves for sure.

-

never feel sorry about ranting in my asks, posts or whatever! i love reading this stuff!!! (can't promise i'll always answer this fast tho lol)

[thetantiger]

I'm gonna copy-paste a giant analysis of Frost's character and her relationships throughout her life that I put in my discord server with my friends because I like it lol

Btw the song this analysis is about/referring to is All You Wanna Do from the SIX musical by Aimie Atkinson

Copy-pasted analysis under the cut

Okay so I actually wanted to talk about this song a bit because I think it is a remarkably fitting Frost song and here's why. I'm going to be explaining this by talking about individual sects of lyrics

Okay so the song is six minutes long and very lyric heavy so I'm just going to be referring to different parts of the song as Guys 1, 2, 3 and 4, 'cause the song goes through 4 different guys and how shitty each relationship was one after the other, and who these guys are when it comes to Frost in particular

GUY 1: It's complicated. So there's a portion of Frost's backstory that I only came up with recently and haven't been able to really weave into any plans, but it's like a vent piece for how my own mom is. Frost's parents are actually alive, and she was told they were dead when she was raised in Acherus in order to make her feel hopeless about any sort of life outside of service to Arthas. Frost's dad left a long time ago but her mother sexualized her as a teenager ("And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild") and encouraged her to pursue men inappropriately older than her as a form of fake empowerment ("He was 23, and I was 13 going on 30"). Frost was groomed to be hypersexual by her mom, in summary. And that leads us to..

GUY 2: Tucker, of course Frost (or Fauna at the time) didn't just waltz into Goldshire out of nowhere. Frost's mom (who I'm thinking to name Doelina) pressured her to pursue sex work and that led Frost straight to Tucker, because if you're being pressured into that shit (and groomed to pursue it from a young age) you don't exactly get the opportunity to double-check if where you're going is safe. Anyway, about Tucker: "Serious, stern and slow / Gets what he wants, and he won't take no" I think that's a perfect descriptor of when Tucker is actually in his element. When he's not he's shown as floundering and foolish and unserious because I try to capture that he's not some over the top, big brain megavillain, deep down (like other people like him) he's actually just a fucking idiot and a control freak. When he is in his element though (being, controlling the people around and under him) he has an iron grip on things "Spilled ink all over the parchment, my wrist was so tired / Still I came back the next day as he required" Tucker sucks at reciprocation, but he's great at manipulation! "And I know this is it / He just cares so much, this one's legit / We have a real connection / I'm sure this time is different" ...OOF.

GUY 3: Arthas (hear me out) NOT IN A SEXUAL SENSE, obviously. Frost didn't fuck Arthas motherfucking Menethil. As a matter of fact this section and the last section, at least in my own head for the purpose of how this connects to Frost, pivots from sex pretty hard and more focuses on a general sense of being used; which, if you're a Death Knight under Arthas Menethil, is a pretty unshakeable feeling! "Tall, large, Henry the Eighth / Supreme Head of the Church of England / Globally revered" "Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true / That without me, he doesn't know what he'd do" ("ah yes i love my death knights. yeah you're my favorite little pogchamp soldiers. send you to die wdym what are you talking about hahahaha") "This is the place for me / I'm finally where I'm meant to be" Frost was manipulated into believing death and pestilence and mass murder and all that was her only purpose, as most Death Knights were. Frost also has been suffering from amnesia as a result of brainrot and doesn't remember her past before Goldshire except in vague, foggy slices, but she still carries the subconscious effect of trauma and felt a general out of place feeling except in Acherus for the longest time. "With Henry, it isn't easy / His temper's short, and his mates are sleazy / Except for this one courtier"

GUY 4: Maxwell! "He's a really nice guy, just so sincere" Again, pivoting from the sex aspect of the song pretty hard, because that wasn't the problem in Frost and Max's relationship (I mean, you could make the argument that Frost values sex in a relationship greatly while Max gestures vaguely doesn't, but you'd be overestimating how much of a breaking point this was in comparison to other issues). I'd also like to explicitly state that I don't label Max and Frost's relationship as abuse in any form, or in any direction, but it was certainly toxic on both of their ends. "So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay / And we hang out loads when the King's away / This guy finally" If you were there to see the early days of Frostwell this stings. Frost and Max actually did have good chemistry, and did connect well and had a lot of fun together, and were as close and as much of a team as any of the modern ships currently are. It lured Frost into a.. sense of security. "And there's nothing more to it" And then that's the exact problem. There was nothing more to it. It was "let's hang out for 5 minutes and then I end up half-dead at your doorstep 6 weeks later." This is exactly WHEN it happens for Frost. When she loses faith. She expected this grand, cosmic epiphany.. and never got it. Eventually Frostwell just.. fell out. Flaked off into pieces one by one over a timeline of little things. And GOD that's tragic, but they simply grew to be separate people. "I thought this time was different / Why did I think he'd be different? / But it's never, ever different" Ow. "When will enough be enough?" ("When will enough [time away from me] be enough?) "Don't care if you don't please me"

And then the song ends, but Frost's romance arcs doesn't so let me talk about Fracques a bit. Frost set herself up for disappointment again in EVERY aspect. Frost realized she had feelings for Jacques when.. well, when they had sex, and she cheated on Maxwell. It felt like a break free moment of some sort of dullness that's hung over Frost her whole life, but in retrospect Frost realizes this was just built-up spite towards Maxwell for them growing apart, which she's worked on since then. She recognizes that she wasn't just magically blessed with amnesia and forgot she was engaged to Max at the time, but that she was perfectly aware of what she was doing and went with it anyway. And she did it because it felt like a punch back to a life that'd beaten her this whole time, but again, Frost realizes that landed right on Maxwell who, even if they'd grown distant and had arguments and this and that, was not at fault for like 85% of that pent up frustration and didn't deserve to be that target. BUT BACK TO JACQUES Again Frost put herself into what could've easily been an extremely dangerous situation. Imagine if Jacques had like,, any other characteristics. Take Tucker's personality and put it into Jacques's body for like a second. This could've easily been AWFUL for Frost because she convinced herself Jacques was some sort of magical key to freedom. If Jacques was manipulative, or abusive, or what have you, isolating Frost could've been ridiculously easy. She relied on him for her own self worth and sexual gratification. But then that didn't happen. Frost's repeated toxic relationships kind of built up this giant expectation of who would finally be "THE ONE." Movie-star romantic scenes of proposing in front of fireworks surrounded by roses with an orchestra in the back and all that jazz. Again, she expected some cosmic (gettit) epiphany. And then that didn't happen either. Jacques was.. sweet. And.. normal. And.. remarkably easy to talk to.

It wasn't some giant moment that solved everything, but rather a consistent, warm feeling over a longer timeline. And she felt.. happy about that? That threw her for a LOOP for a while. Frost's life has been so dramatic that she expected something to "fix" her, or for something that finally went right for her to be equally dramatic and then it wasn't. And she LIKED THAT. HUH??? She straight up didn't understand but over time she came to appreciate uneventfulness. A breath after a life of holding it. And then she struggled with feeling like she didn't deserve to have that breath. After all, she's been told all her life she was a bad person. First just general slutshaming, then abuse from Tucker specifically, and then her warcrimes as a Death Knight under Arthas, and then cheating on Max (which actually weighs on her the most, fun fact [sub-explanation is she still HELLA cares about Max and considers him a close-friend and personally believes she is responsible for some trust issues he has which may or may not be true but ANYWAY THIS IS ABOUT FRACQUES]). She's not "fit" to be somebody's other half. She's not "fit" to be married, to be someone's wife. And then Jacques wifed her up anyway. So now Frost is just kind of in this.. limbo at the moment, slowly accepting that.. maybe she's not as terrible as she thinks she is.

Anyway mega analysis of Frost over

[daviddunwoody]

THE DUNWOODY CHRISTMAS LETTER

Happy All the Happy Days! I bought a little Christmas tree after I got drunk and sat on the 3-ft. one in '21. The temple ornament the Mormons gave me is roughly the same size, so maybe I'll make one of those little Christmas town scenes.

I quit drinking in Spring, unrelated to the tree. I'm not counting the days since I have no doubt the future will happen, and I'll need A Drink at some point. But not alone, and not until I pass out naked in a hotel corridor.

I have this idea that the emergence of home internet made manifest some nightmare (or totally natural) version of the collective unconscious. It may have also been the Rapture for God fans, making this the Tribulation. Let's make it the best ever!

I am not a crackpot btw

I think when a baby brain comes online, it just starts downloading all stimuli and data to begin calibrating the ol' mind. That must be terrifying until someone swaddles you and makes you feel safe. Then, I assume, the downloading slows to a more manageable pace and the baby can start observing things.

I think the best way to describe my autism would be that my brain's sponge-ality was not adequately reduced. Too much information for someone who was already analyzing his analysis of his own thoughts in real time.

Perhaps the Internet, and the cartoon world it has led to, are kinda giving everyone a taste of that anxiety. Maybe there really is some adaptive nature to autism, idk

Oh hey, good news! I'm writing again. Therapy and good people are good. I've wrangled most of my crazy energy back into the "pen," LOL, if you catch my drift.

I'm just awful at writing letters though. I start and stop personal messages because I know they will lead to the terrifying Conversation. How do you say from a place of love, "I think of you often and wish you well, please don't write back"

Like this letter I guess? Maybe olde-timey rambling public diary entries are my jam. Anyway, I really hope everyone has a nice rest of their 2023.

-Dave

[deedala]

hehe ok now that we've all had a good laugh (my main intention btw lol) i'll actually share all my little brain thoughts about the connection I see between these three plot points...

I'm going to try and be as brief as possible (oh wow i failed) because lord knows i am not the best when it comes to words or media analysis.

In 7x10 Fiona delivers her speech to Ian regarding making contact with Mickey after he's broken out of prison. Essentially saying she's proud of Ian. He’s fixed his life (and by extension himself). He’s committed to a legitimate profession, and he’s good at it! Fiona tells Ian that if he were to get involved with Mickey again, Mickey would ruin his life and undo all of Ian’s hard work.

At this point in the series Fiona has made her career and "rising above her station" the main priority in her life. She's taken a step back from focusing on her siblings and her love life, instead she's investing in herself! (Not a critical statement btw, it's her life, she gets to pick her priorities). But I think those aren’t Ian's priorities. Ian loves being an EMT, but people and interpersonal relationships are a much higher priority to him than his career ever was. 

But Fiona says these things, and he listens to her. But even still, he really loves Mickey so he gets in the car, fully expecting to go to Mexico with him, all the while remembering and quietly ruminating on Fiona’s words. By the time they actually get to the finish line, Fiona's speech has fully psyched him out.

It's Fiona’s words that Ian’s referring to when he tells Mickey that he loves him, but "this isn't me anymore". He has a legitimate career, he has a bank account, he's on the grid. It's not wrong that he doesn’t want to destroy his career and everything else in his life to run off with Mickey, but I just don't think he was thinking about his own priorities at that moment. Fiona psyched him out, and he second-guessed himself.

So he goes back to Chicago and as we know things aren't great when he gets back. But we really don't need to go over all the ungood things he's facing back home. Let’s just skip ahead to his big war with Fiona:

His anger and disappointment in Fiona over the church thing is 100% valid. But boy howdy did he get real vicious, real fast. And we know Ian is petty and good at holding a grudge when he wants to, but I just think the reason he gets so punishing, so fast, is because he's already been harboring resentment towards her. 

Since returning to Chicago he's had a lot of time to think about what he came back to and what he left behind. And maybe it’s somewhat subconsciously, but I think he realizes that she psyched him out, and was holding on to some resentment towards her for that.

So when the church thing goes down, he lets loose. Not only has she legitimately ticked him off but it's another instance of their priorities clashing. Fiona prioritizes her career and financial situation, and Ian prioritizes people and relationships. With those unspoken things piled on top of the obvious reason he's mad at her, he punishes her and antagonizes her unrelentingly until the church excuse eventually fizzles out.

And of course there's a million other factors to all three of these plot points and other things to be said about what was right or wrong about what Fiona said, what was right or wrong about Ian's choices, etc etc, but like tl;dr basically ....

Fiona psyched out Ian, influencing his decision at the Mexican border, and Ian starts resenting her for it, which influences how viciously he punishes her over the church thing.

Anyway i hope Fiona is doing well in Florida and that she doesn’t humiliate herself on that dating show????? lol?????????? 

We know Ian and Mickey are good  👍

(thanks again @michellemisfit for helping me do the words)

A Story In Three Parts

[spaceseinensam]

I know I joke a lot about Beowulf and that he's dumb and a himbo and has massive pecs, but rn, at the end of my thesis which includes parts of Beowulf, I have to say I really feel a sort of melancholic kinship for this man. He's regarded by everyone as a classic hero, even by the people in the story, but I can't help but think he's not as classic as we like to believe. He's not humble in any way during his first fights, he's boasting about his strength, daring himself to defeat Grendel without weapons. When Grendel's mother comes to revenge her son his first idea is to run to the lake (?) she lives in to jump in and fight her underwater. He wins in both fights but they make him look so impulsive, battle-hungry even, and not at all like the man you imagine when I say "classic hero". He had to fight even more after this, his entire life is basically ruled by fighting and then he becomes king and grows old and when we see him again he's way over 50, an aging man, who, when faced with the threat of the dragon, feels like he has to do what he always did, fight it. He doesn't even consider sending someone else, because it's always been him, right? It always had to be him who defeats the monsters. And he goes to fight the dragon and the narration already knows that it's his last fight and it's such a sad feeling, seeing this old man, the once young and bragging Beowulf, go to meet his end.

And when he finally lays there dying after dealing the final blow to the dragon with the help of Wiglaf (which, wow, the heroic hero needs direct help defeating his final foe) there's no one else there, and so he gives his rings and with them his kingdom to this young man, the only one who didn't falter and run away after being faced with the dragon (perhaps a new 'Beowulf' in the making?), and then he just dies, a simple man. He doesn't have a wife or children or even close friends he can call out to while dying, he's only ever had fighting, because that it what made him, and now fighting was his ultimate end, because he just had to face one more monster.

And idk, that just makes me feel for him so much. Yeah, he still got sorta inhuman strength as a heroic trait, he always defeats his enemies, when he turns king he of course is a just and good king, but to me, Beowulf is more than just a "classic hero", he is a man born into a world that sees 'being good at fighting' as his highest quality and so he just does that, to the point where he throws himself at any danger or monster he comes across, because he has to, right? If he couldn't fight it, what would be his worth? And it feels so tragic that he ultimately dies alone (Wiglaf doesn't count imo) because no one could keep up with him. Heroism made him what he is, and it made him lonely.

Idk, just my thoughts, I now have to finish my thesis haha

[skepticalarrie]

could you break it down how boyfriends could be from louis point of view?!

So when I started writing this post I was still unsure about the interpretation of this song and I was just willing to try to break it down like the anon asked for so we could maybe analyse this together and have some insights. But after writing everything I 100% think *the boyfriend* in the song is Harry and not the other way around. If someone is looking for a more straight forward analysis there's this post, I think everything is very self explanatory about it. But here, I tried to make sense of the use of the pronouns and also a lot of parallels.

So we have three different pronouns here: THEY, HE/HIM, YOU. It's all referring to two different people in the song, one of them is *the* boyfriend in question, in this case being referred to THEY/HIM/HE, and YOU is the subject. And based on that concept, IMO this is what the song is telling us:

The boyfriend (everything highlighted in yellow) = he doesn't open up and doesn't really tell what he's thinking, causing some misunderstandings (so, a lot of communication issues), he uses drinking as a coping mechanism, he knows how to get under the subject's skin, there are lies and pretending involved.

The subject (everything highlighted in red) = feels alone and at times doesn't feel close to the boyfriend (because of the communication issues), feels like a fool and in some sort of cycle, always coming back to loving the boyfriend and to that situation where they're pretending/daydreaming/lying (probably about things being *fine*).

The question is: Is Harry the boyfriend? Is Harry the subject? Is he both? Is he neither (and just writing from a point of view where he's not actively participating)? I don't have the definitive answer for that lol just my interpretation. I think Harry is great at that, he hands us his songs with barely any context and let us to make whatever we - individually - want out of it. The most obvious interpretation here is that he's alluding to boyfriends (or boyfriend) he had/have, or that he's simply shitting on boyfriends without necessarily being one of the people in the song (I'm assuming this is the no-homo-please interpretation for most people btw)

HOWEVER when we look back at Harry's songwriting and the context of other songs, for me, it makes more sense if Harry is the boyfriend. First of all, because his songwriting is almost always about himself rather than about other people, even in songs of pure adoration and devotion for someone like Adore You, Golden, Sweet Creature, he always adds a layer of complexity to it that are a lot about his feelings towards that certain someone. So here's a great post about Harry and his self-critical lyrics.

And then when we look at it from the subject POV (in this case, Louis, of course).... LOL. Defenceless and Boyfriends are literally the same song, guys. I really hope you all can understand the way I tried to draw the parallels on this, it was the easiest way for me to visualize it god I hope I don't sound crazy with this

+ Also the parallel with Half the World Away (an unreleased One Direction song written by Harry): And I started drinking. I don't know half of what I'm thinking. Those are basically the same words he's using to describe the boyfriend in the song.

Highlighted in orange: Harry being selfish, jealous, proud (they're saying it, not me, sorry harry baby you're doing great) having trouble communicating and letting his "walls" down, struggling with coping mechanism.

Highlighted in green: Louis having less problems with communication, more willing to be open and vulnerable, always coming back (like it's a habit).

Highlighted in purple: lies and pretending, they can only be themselves when they're alone (both of them use references to be in bed on that part), like they're living in a daydream because what they have it's not "real".

This is not what I think about Harry and Louis or whatever their dynamics are, and how they deal with their issues and cracks is a completely different discussion and quite honestly, not my problem. I'm just trying to interpret the song and draw parallels with what we have.

Those are the parallels and why the initial concept that the boyfriend in the song is actually himself makes more sense to me. You can take that and make whatever you want out of it. If you think the boyfriend is Louis or whatever other interpretation, good for you, I don't think you're wrong. There's no such thing as being wrong about an interpretation, don't let anyone tell you what something means when you have a different perspective. But please just make sure to share that on your own blog like I'm sharing my interpretation of it on mine.