#this is my throw into the void | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

suksatoru · 1 month ago

Text

" 'cause I don't want to be in love with another, even in another life."

Keigo loved you as Icarus loved the sun—too close, too much.

The story of Icarus is a greek myth. One where Icarus made his own wings and was warned of the impending dangers of the sun. He ignored them and flew near it anyway—burning his wings before falling to his death.

hawks x reader & slight dabi x reader

warning; this may be the best piece of fiction i have ever written

Keigo didn't know where exactly he was walking to.

All he knew was that he was on break. As a boy who had just freshly turned sixteen, he was working full time to become one of the greatest hero's to live. It was his dream, one he would work hard to fulfill no matter what it took

He's walking through an unfamiliar neighborhood. It was...a lot like the one he grew up in when he was younger. While this one didn't seem necessarily dangerous, the run down houses and poorly taken care of lawns indicated this wasn't a wealthy area like the ones he was slowly beginning to become accustomed to with his new lifestyle.

But there are children running and playing around, adults sitting on their porches and chatting as they smoke. It was different than what he once knew. He wonders if maybe his old neighborhood is like this now—more open. More free, where people could roam the streets without fear

He almost didn't hear you at first. His steps were optimistic and a little quicker than they usually were as he walked down the sidewalk. He lifted one of his wings to cover his gaze from the relentless sun that beat down on Japan. He almost passed the small sound he heard as an animal scurrying by, but he heard it again—a quiet whimper that suddenly sounded a lot more human.

His footsteps slow in front of the dark alley, and he carefully side steps to enter it. He sees you almost immediately, with your knees pulled to your chest, fingers tugging harshly at the strands of your matted hair as you held your head in your hands

"Hey," He quickly said, kneeling down onto the dirty ground completely as he sits beside you. His eyes are worried as his heart beats faster at your state. What happened to you to have you sitting outside and all alone like this? You couldn't be older than him, maybe you were younger—he decides you're the same age as him when your wide eyes meet his. The look on your face was similar to an animal that had been kicked down too many times, and you instantly push your feet in front of you and backed yourself into the brick wall behind you when you heard his voice

You're almost embarrassed to meet his gaze. I mean, a boy your age was crouching down in front of you during the absolute worst time possible and looking at you with a boyish grin that was too kind for your heart to take. He was dressed in odd clothes you've never seen before, majestic red wings twitching in anticipation behind him as he looks at you with gentle eyes—a striking hue of gold that captivated you in an instant

"Who are you?"

Your voice comes out rougher than you intended it to, strained and hoarse from crying too much as your fingers press into the concrete beneath you. You know you're a mess right now—eyes red and cheeks puffy, clothes tattered and blood smearing your arms from being hit too many times. But Keigo doesn't look at you with any less kindness than he would to a bunny

"I'm Hawks! A hero in training, who's here to save people just like yourself," He smiles, moving to sit beside you as rests his strong back against the wall. His frame was a lot larger than yours and you stiffen beside him, a rare form of envy forming in your stomach as you realize this well put together boy sitting beside you probably got three meals a day judging by the size of his muscles and happy grin—he was far too cheerful for you right now, and you simply didn't have the energy or strength to deal with it

"Please leave me alone." You mumble quietly, discreetly wiping your previous tears with your knuckle. He's quiet for a moment, before he starts speaking again, quieter this time

"It's okay. I know it's bad right now—but I can help. Tell me, dont'cha think these wings can fight off whatever’s hurting you?" He huffs, standing up suddenly to his full height as he spreads his wings out behind him—a show of power. You can see his pearly white teeth poke through his charming smile, and he holds his arms out as he looks down at you

You let out a huff of laughter unlike yourself, your lips forming a wobbly smile as you slowly nod your head

"Unfortunately there's nothing you can really do to help me. I'm...kinda hopeless."

He smiles at your words. A feeling of trepidation prickles at your skin hotly as you prepare to be made fun of. You can already imagine what his taunting laugh would sound like when you suddenly feel a heavy wing wrap around your frail shoulders as he pulls you in for a hug, sitting back beside you on the ground

Your shoulder bumps against his as he pulls you into his side, and Keigo's smile falters when he sees how alarmed you are by the simple gesture. He loosens his hold on you just the slightest bit before sending you an apologetic smile

"You know, the only way out of hard times is through them. Trust me. Why don't you get up and come with me?" He smiles, and the sight of it takes your breath away

The sun was setting over your neighborhood. You had no one who loved you to go back to, no one who would care if you were gone forever

But here, six pm on what had begun as any other day, came your savior. A boy with a smile as golden as his eyes. He was devastatingly beautiful—and he reminded you quite a bit of an angel. He looked and behaved just like one, and you realize he was one.

Keigo watches your hands play with the broken fabric of your sleeve as you stare into his eyes. Your hand twitches as you reach it out towards him, before ultimately curling into a fist as you place it in your lap

He can see the hesitation in your eyes. You had just realized how dirty your hands were, calloused from going unloved and dirty from digging your fingers into the dirt mere hours earlier when you were crying

He uncurls your fist, intertwining his fingers with yours before squeezing gently—his fingers tainted in a quick instant as he grins

He had a really boyish smile. And full cheeks, ones that were like apples whenever he smiled. You squeeze his hand back as he tugs you up to stand

The sun is setting in the horizon, catching his eyes and wisps of beautiful blonde hair in its rays as he walks with you, hand in hand.

You will forever remember the following years of your life with Keigo, the boy who had taken care of you when the world had turned their back

The Hero Public Safety Commission. That was the organization Keigo worked for. You entered the facility with him, gawked at by all the employees who worked there. The walk across the building began as a long one with all the stares you were receiving, but Keigo wrapped a single wing around you to hide you from their gaze

In a matter of months you were implemented into the same program as him. Side by side, you and Keigo became friends.

You've never had a friend, and neither had he. You were slowly introduced and implemented into a new society, one that shined brighter and warmer than the darkness you had grown up in

Keigo was a beacon of hope for you. Slowly, the two of you became a tangible thing. One never caught without the other. From training together to getting your licenses, you slowly built a new life for yourself with him.

The past was slowly being forgotten. The dark times you'd spent cowering under your own parents disappearing as they slowly wasted away—just like all you had ever known.

Keigo made you forget those things. He brought you closer and closer to his heart—allowing you to understand and see what love was like. You unknowingly had done the same for him, teaching Keigo Takami the gentleness of true love.

But you didn't have time actively pursue a relationship with him. While the words were unspoken, the love between the two of you was strong and braided into your very being

"Y/n."

Keigo lays a casual arm around your shoulder, peering around before pressing a sloppy kiss onto your cheek that has you leaning away from him with a groan. Now freshly eighteen, Keigo had grown into an adult. His younger features remained, but they were sharper now. He had grown taller and packed impressive muscle over the years, growing into an admirable hero.

"Gross. Lay off, birdie." You muse, tilting away from him with a heartfelt smile as he laughs loudly

You had grown up too. Your first few days with Keigo were nothing but eye opening. Suddenly, you had a warm meal placed in front of you and someone to share it with. He made sure you went to bed every night with a full stomach, helping you grow into your figure and get stronger

As an emerging hero, you were right behind Keigo, forever holding his hand as he paved a path for the two of you with nothing but determination in those beautiful eyes of his

"We got a mission to go on. Think you're ready for this one? We gotta take down a reallll bad villain." He teases, removing his arm from your shoulder as he slides into the seat across from you. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, and you try and avert your eyes from the way his muscles flexed under his compression tee

"When have I ever chickened out of a mission? Are you ready, Hawks?"

Keigo likes it when you say his hero name like that. It rolls off your tongue nicely, stirring something deep within him with joy

"Born ready. Now come on, we can hit the movies after this mission if we finish early!"

You smile, unknowing of what fate had in store for you and him

The two of you are transported throughout Japan on the usual camouflaged vehicle, going to the villain's reported hideout as you look over his records and files in your hands. Apparently, this villain was one who'd been stealing medicine from all sorts of hospital facilities and wreaking havoc in his trail as he did—reports showed he may plan on reselling them for outrageous prices abroad.

After reviewing the geography of the area, the van rolls to a stop, giving you and Keigo your signal to get out and begin

Breaking in was easier than you thought it would be, but the building was far bigger than you'd anticipated. It would take hours to go through each room and collect the necessary evidence

"All right then, let's split up." Keigo proposes, tightening his grip on the small walkie talkie attached to his hip as you turn to him in surprise

"Split up? But..isn't that a little risky for a mission like this?" You question, hoping he doesn't catch the hesitation in your voice as you utter the words

He looks up. He'd caught the shift in your voice and understood how you felt immediately—he always did.

"Usually yeah, but I got a good feeling about today! Plus, I wanna finish this quickly so I can take us somewhere nice after the movies..." He says, trailing off with a soft grin as he suddenly hooks his finger in the loop of your jeans—pulling you closer to him.

The action has your breath hitching in your throat before you see his hands quickly move to your walkie talkie, working on changing the settings so the SOS button was more accessible. You take a quick and steadying breath before letting out a huff, grumbling profanities under your breath and going on about how he scared you as he laughs

He lets go of your waist once he's all done, looking around the dusty room with attentive eyes

"I'd send one of my feathers with you so I know where you are, but I don't want it to catch unnecessary attention. That's why I tweaked our walkies a bit. You take the left wing and I'll take the right one, so we meet in the middle. Think you can do that, Y/n?" He smirks as you roll your shoulders, sending back an equally amused grin.

"Let's see who gets to the middle first." You say, and his eyes light up at the sound of your challenge

"It's on! Loser does the paperwork summary of the mission!" He yells over his shoulder as his wings flap above you, with one last grin—he flies down the hall and turns towards the right wing with immeasurable speed

You take off the moment after he does, skidding to a stop in front of every door you came across before efficiently checking through them for evidence or trace of the villain

Your mission's main objective was catching the villain—as for all the medicines he'd stolen, they'd be collected by the higher ups soon after.

Most of the rooms were empty. Mainly filled with sparse bookshelves coated with dust as you checked for slots in the walls or anywhere something may be hidden. You wonder if Keigo's found anything before you see a dim light coming from one of the rooms down the hall

Your footsteps are stealthy and silent as you slowly approach the room with caution, your hand held out and ready to activate your quirk at any given moment

A shift of movement from inside confirms your suspicions, and you immediately corner the threat, shoving them hard and driving their back into the wall of the small room

A man that must've been in his mid forties stares at you slack jawed, eyes blown out in terror as a small grunt leaves his throat from where your knee was pushing into his stomach

"Don't move. Stay still so I can take the necessary procedures to take you into custody, sir." You say cooly

This man was keeping hundred of patients from receiving the medicine and care they deserved. The thought flared a spark of anger in you—you were young, just eighteen and filled with a lot of emotion. That's the only reason you pushed your knee further into him as a small, strangled sound leaves his throat

No. Not his throat, from behind you.

Someone else was here.

Your grip on him loosens as you whip around, a scowl on your face for you own stupidness for not confirming how many people you could come across

A small girl lays on a dinky hospital bed, her eyes angry as she glares at you. She couldn't be much older than five, but the look on her face has you loosening your grip on what you'd soon learn is her father

The truth of the situation dawns on you as you look between the father-daughter duo. Multiple IV's and lines were hooked up to her, and her heart rate monitor began to beep rapidly

"Let him go! Let my papa go!"

She's crying, her little chest unable to deal with her racking sobs as your eyes soften

"It's ok, I'm just—"

She suddenly lets out a wail, and you realize the man under you has started crying as well when you feel something wet on your palm. His chest is shuddering from his quiet and pained cries, and you kneel beside him with your heart beating erratically

You weren't taught to deal with this. You were trained how to fight if a villain has murderous intent, you were trained to deal with villains who had long range weapons—but you were never trained for anything like this.

"P-Please stop crying." You whisper, not sure if you're directing it to the little girl or the father

There's shouting in the hallway, and the man stills under you at the menacing sound as the little girl freezes, her small frame shaking with terror as she continued mumbling her father's name over and over again

What was the Commission doing here? They shouldn't be here—this was a mission for only Keigo and you. They enter with large guns, and suddenly the girl is wailing all over again as one of them rams the end of their weapon into the back of her father

You yelp, kicking the Commission worker away hard as you quickly catch the girl's father

"He surrendered! He surrendered, stop it!"

The man looks at you through his mask in confusion before Hawk's suddenly bursts into the small room—his eyes quickly locating you as a relieved sigh leaves his lips

He strides across the room an encases you in a tight hug, before pulling back and looking all over your body for any signs of injuries

"Are you all right? No injuries? No—"

"Did you call them?" You speak, baffled and bewildered as he nods

"You didn't your answer your walkie–dammit I called you eight times, Y/n!"

You still at the memory of you turning down its volume when you were approaching the room. You had meant to turn it back on once you'd gotten the threat under control, but....

"I'm...I'm sorry." You speak, but your apology doesn't sound sincere at all. Your eyes are wide and distracted as they haul the limp man out of the room. The little girl cries softly now as one of the men carefully bring her out too

Keigo pays no attention to either of them—his gaze focused solely on you and beyond worried

"You can't turn it off like that. I thought—I thought—"

He wraps you in a sudden hug, the sound of the workers exiting the room swiftly leaving the two of you standing in silence

Slowly, his breathing evens out as you wrap your arms around him loosely, before tightening them

"He was stealing medicine for his daughter. She was sick, Kei." You whisper, and Keigo knows your mind is scattered when you mistakingly utter his real name

He sighs, cradling your face in his large palms

"Look at me."

You do. But your mind can't help but think of the little girl's sickly state. So much like yours when you were younger. She was pale and too skinny. And something shifts in your gaze as Keigo holds you

"He still stole. It was wrong, but...I understand you're upset. You need to understand he put hundred of other people's lives at risk. That's not ok." He mumbles, gliding his thumb over your cheek as you lean into his touch

"I..."

He shakes his head, knowing you weren't ready to talk as he takes your hand and squeezes it reassuringly

"We'll talk about this later, all right?"

You nod, thankful for the distraction

You never did get to have that talk with him. If only Keigo knew how much this mission would effect you. If only. He would cradle your face for hours and tell you to let it all out—but he didn't. He thought he was doing the right thing when he didn't push you to speak your thoughts

That day was the beginning of the end.

Keigo didn't know when he had begun to lose you. All he knew was that it started slow, growing over the years before the hand he used to hold was suddenly too far out of reach for him to grasp—

He watches the news play on the big TV screens as he stands in the middle of his agency, a crowd gathering around him to watch as well as they murmur their shock and disapproval

Your face was plastered among the League's, your eyes devoid of the light he had once lit as the words WANTED blare alarmingly on the bottom of the screen

It was just yesterday when he asked you out on a date for the first time

"I'm tired, Keigo."

He had been laying on the edge of your bed, his usual smile faltering as he gently squeezes your calf

"I know—that's why I want to take your mind off of everything! You know, we haven't been able to hang out much. I know you're busy with whatever you're doing, so...I thought it'd be good for us."

You've never wanted to kiss him so badly. He was out of his usual hero attire, laying at the foot of your bed with that same smile from all those years ago. Except this time, you don't take the hand he's offering you

"How about another time? I just...need to rest for a bit, ya'know?" You try smiling, and he quickly nods

"That's ok—I'll wait for you. Even if I'm an old, crippled man by the end of it." He jokes, standing up and pressing a quick kiss onto your forehead before he turns to leave

You want to tug him back, tell him everything on your mind and how you're unraveling right in front of him—but he gives you one last smile before closing the door

That was the night you met up with the notorious Dabi who promised to help you.

You had stared at the answer on your anonymous question with a sense of fulfillment taking place of the dread that was once in your chest. After posting the thread where you voiced your feelings on society and how stuck you were—a stranger offered you a role too good to not check out.

Imagine both you and Dabi's surprise when you'd first met.

He had bewitched you the same way Keigo—Hawks—had done all those years ago. Promising you a brighter future if you joined him to fight for his cause

His piercing gaze softened a degree by the end of his meaningful conversation with you. Dabi had found someone worthy. A perfect addition to the League—just what he was looking for.

"I love you."

You'd never spoken the words to Keigo before. But with Dabi—your heart burned as bright as his flames. Maybe it would be reduced to ashes by the end of your time with him. But you didn't care.

Dabi's fingers pause from where they were trailing down your cheek, before he smashes his lips into yours

As the League became more and more well known, you and Dabi's romantic relationship did too.

It was true love for Dabi. But was it true love for you?

You weren't in the right headspace. But he didn't care. Dabi took advantage of it, making you solely his in the process. Consuming you and your noble thoughts the way smoke engulfed clean air

Some nights, you'd watch Keigo's recent interviews when you were alone. He'd lost his spark, the light in his eyes you loved to see so much.

You knew it was your fault. But the world was crumbling around you, and you couldn't bring yourself to fix it.

The Commission and Agency marked you up as their one and only failure. Maybe it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't killed the little girl's father after slamming him with criminal charge after charge.

If they had just listened.

Dabi listened to your mindless chatter all the time. Threading his rough palm through your hair as you told him how much you were growing to hate the world. Even when he made love to you, he whispered in your ear how he'd make a better world just for you. His initial plans of destroying it all had flourished into building something a new—like a phoenix rising from the ashes. All for you.

The war came quicker than you wanted it to.

You told yourself you were ready to face Keigo—to help AFO take down your best friend and everything you'd once known.

AFO never sensed any hesitation from you, nor did he sense any hatred. But on the battlefield, as he lifted Hawks into the air by his neck—something in the air shifted.

Hatred and fury like no other surged through it. And your attack came raining down on him like a gunship. No other hero was able to inflict the amount of damage you did, all because it was so unexpected and strong.

It was the sight of your Keigo about to get his wings taken away that awoke something inside of you you'd thought had been burned

You could see the intent in AFO's eyes—his lips curling into a malicious and disgusting grin as he gripped Hawk's throat and stared at his wings.

The same red wings that sixteen year old boy used to shield you.

You're able to get AFO down for about a minute, dread filling your stomach when the realization that he would kill you when he'd wake up hits you

Keigo is barely able to sit up, so weak and so bloodied but so in love, he croaks your name with a desperation like never before.

You're by his side in an instant, your wet tears washing away the dirt on your face as you cradle his face in your lap, kissing him all over softly and murmuring the word sorry over and over

Everything hurts. He wants to yell at you—tell you how you broke his heart when you left. Shattered his resolve and took the remnants of his kid self with you

But war was a tragic thing, and before he could tell you it was ok, or that he was sorry too, or even just that he loved you—

He was met with a hue of blood similar to the color of his wings being splattered all over him as All For One sunk one of Keigo's stray feathers into your back, effectively ending it all as Keigo watched the life drain from your eyes

Keigo Takami was never the same after that day.

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