#this is my son in law we’re speaking about…watch ur mouth… | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bakugohoex · 4 years ago

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hey😝😝🙇‍♀️ i love ur fics sm ur writing is so good oml🤭🤭🤭🤭 can i request a jean fic where they go out and jean Likes(😏) her outfit and then semi-public sex idkidk do with that what u will😌😌 TY and remember to drink water😌🥰🥰🥰

“get in the fucking back, now”

pairing: jean kirchstein x female reader

cw: modern au, fluff, language, nsfw (female receiving oral, exhibitionism, degradation, praise, nipple play, biting, fucking (obvs), dacryphillia, dumbification and breeding), kissing and jealousy

word count: 2800+

a/n: thank you for this request and i will make sure to drink hella water, @katsuhera for out midnight simping and thinking of these kinks and ideas also i have a platonic aizawa request coming out later on so hopefully you guys enjoy them both

summary: in which you and jean meet up for a date, instead of the coffee and cakes you find yourself in an empty car pack, bound in the back of his car ready to have his way with you

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The smell of fresh coffee and cake filled the room, Jean sat on one of the corner tables playing on his phone as he waited for you to come. You had both agreed to meet after your lectures having not seen each other since yesterday.

You both were needy, needing to at least see each other once a day to be content. It was bad enough both your schedules had fucked your time together, but your friends always seemed to drag you both away from each other.

Finally finding time for a proper date and not just going to each other’s apartments to cuddle and watch movies. Which you had to say was an amazing date in itself. But wanting to spend the afternoon together felt just how your relationship had been. I'm the first couple of months together.

He heard the ring of the door to your favourite cafe, as he watched you on the phone with someone. You spotted him giving him a wave, but his eyes had turned to something else. The skirt you wore, the short black skirt that pressed against your ass and thighs, the way that it squeezed your whole body. It made his head go wild and worst of all the long-sleeved shirts you wore in the spring heat had a low cut allowing all eyes to fixate on the curvature of your breasts in your white bra.

You had put the phone down walking up to the bot with a smile, seeing a server ready to come and ask you what you wanted. But Jean had an inkling the male server would be looking at you a lot more than he should be.

“Sorry, I’m late, our professor kept us longer to talk about an assignment.” You leaned over kissing his cheek, his eyes not daring to look down to see your breasts.

He had missed the simple feeling of your lips on his cheek, even if he had felt it yesterday. “That’s fine, I wasn't waiting long, who was on the phone?”

You had perched yourself on the chair skimming through the menu as he looked at you. Almost admiring his girl, the way his head was planted against his hand just watching how perfect you were.

“Oh, my mum wanted to ask if we’re still okay to come round on Saturday.” He nodded already knowing how your mum had been begging to see the boy who she already considered her son in law.

“Eren brought another fuck round last night.” You muttered unamusingly, you both ended up just talking about the events of this morning. You explained how your mutual friend Eren had brought what seemed like the fifth girl this week back to your shared apartment. You and Eren had been friends for a while and becoming roommates seemed like the best bet when you both had first been let free all those years ago. The idea of moving in with Jean had come up and you knew by the end of the year you’d both finally have your own place together.

“Eren doesn’t tell me shit about who he fucks, it doesn’t make you uncomfortable right?” Jean leant backwards on his seat eyeing you up again, you shook your head having gotten used to it and knowing Eren had had to handle you and Jean fucking before. “What made you wear this then?”

He needed to know if you were purposely making him hard or if it was just by sheer chance. “Why? Don't you like it?”

“Quite the opposite, baby, i think we all liked it.” He spoke the last part in a whisper watching as the server had come up to you both.

“What can I get you both?” He questioned eyes fixated on you alone.

Jean rolled his eyes, hating how others were looking at what was his. “We should share the pancakes, I’m not that hungry but I want some.”

“Pick whatever you want baby” He looked coldly to the man; your hand had been resting across the table as he grabbed it softly. You smiled at the action before putting the menu down and looking at the server.

“Can we get some chocolate pancakes and two coffees?” You asked politely, even in the outfit that looked like you’d just come out from a night out you were ever so respectful.

“Anything else…” Jean had interrupted due to having been ignored throughout the whole encounter.

“No.” The server left, and you went back to Jean.

You remembered his question and began explaining the events of this morning. “This dickhead ran into me with coffee so i had to wear whatever i could find in my bag.”

“You just happen to have a tight skirt and low-cut shirt in your bag.” He chuckled watching you gleam out to him.

You pout at his teasing before continuing, “it’s for special occasions.”

“Aww, is this a special occasion.” Jean teased again.

“I hate you.”

Jeans grip around your fingers tightened, “shouldn’t I be the one hating you, coming in here looking like that, how could any man not want you?”

“Jean.” You whispered slowly.

He checked his watch, he wanted something else, something more from you and prayed that you both would eat quickly so he could let himself have you. “What do you want to do afterwards?” You questioned just as the food arrived, the same server lingering trying to hear the conversation.

“I have some ideas in mind.” Jean smirked out as he took a fork and started eating the food.

“Ooo tell me?” You pleaded hating being kept in the dark.

He looks at the server who remained close by, “walking in wearing that, what else could it be?”

Your eyes widened at the thought that your outfit could really have caused him to get this horny. “Where?”

“Don’t worry about that baby, you eat your food like a good girl.” You didn’t speak, taking a bite of the chocolate, Jean watched as you licked your lips from the stray syrup, for a man with a horny girlfriend it seemed like he had finally reached your level of horny.

He understood all those nights he’d come home wearing a shirt and trousers. How in an instant you’d be on him, due to being, in your own words a sex god he hadn’t realised but you riled him up the same way he did too you.

“Jean.” You had been repeating his name to get him out of his trance. You were hiding a lot more than he had realised, at his previous words a slick had formed between your walls and worst of all there was a lot more limited clothes then Jean realised.

He looked up meeting your seductive gaze, “yes baby.”

“Come closer.” You beckoned, he obliged feeling his trousers tighten at how you moved forward. This time his eyes grazed your chest, seeing through your bra at the already hardened nipples. Your breath fanned his neck before you went to his ear, “the coffee went through my jeans, i didn’t have any spare underwear.”

His breath hitched, feeling himself unable to talk at what you had just said. You were bare between the skirt, the thought that you had been walking with your cunt on show. Worst of all he knew that if you were as horny as he would, the slick would be seeping down your thighs. “Get up.”

“But-” You were interrupted by him grabbing your hand.

“We’re going now.” He looked at the server who looked between the two of you. “How much is it?”

Jean was in a hurry; he passed the credit card impatiently tapping at where the register was. He could see eyes fixated on you, he hated how empty the place had been, with mainly uni students coming through. But in this moment the way their eyes seemed to undress you, he hated it and now knowing the extra information all he wanted to do was show you who you belonged to.

The server passed the card back. Jean in an instant pulled you out of the cafe, he walked ahead as you had been pacing yourself quicker to even keep up with the taller boy. “You’re lucky I brought my car.” He muttered as you went to the underground car park.

There were barely any cars, being the afternoon and people still at work, the parking lot seemed more secluded than you had ever realised. Being at the furthest end, Jean looked at you seeing how you pulled your skirt down. “No point doing that now, baby, everybody already saw that pretty cunt of yours.” He mocked before unlocking his car.

“Get in the fucking back, now.” He had opened the door, waiting for you to get in. With your back across the backseats, you were in perfect view of his own body.

He moved inside the car, locking the door and car behind him. It was in these moments you were glad he had tinted windows. He gave a smirk watching as you sat upright, one leg beside his body and the other dangling to the ground. “Spread those legs.”

You moved your leg to go onto his shoulders, feeling how his hands moved the skirt up to your hips. Your cunt dripping in wetness for his mouth to devour. “Baby.” It was muffled from your end as his hands had gripped your thighs.

His fingers leaving indents, his mouth bite at your inner thigh. The feeling of the speckles of his hair on his face brushing against your thighs before you felt him closer and closer to your clit. “If you touch me, I’m going to stop.” It was a punishment for showing yourself off, it was a punishment, but he knew it masked the reward of being eaten out.

“Yes, Sir.” You breathed out heavily. The feeling of his hairs across your thighs sent a shock wave, his tongue gliding across your clit tasting and feeling the slick in his mouth.

He groaned at the taste of your wet cunt, his tongue doing laps inside of your blushed cunt. His hand had travelled to your shirt having pulled it to reveal your breasts in the bra, his hand went underneath groping your left boob as his mouth was at work.

“Baby…I…” You could barely think with the feeling of him giving you so much pleasure. The way his mouth would leave soft kisses against your cunt before he went back in with his tongue.

He had told you after the first time you both had slept together how much he enjoyed eating you out. How much he loved the feeling of your cunt across his lips. He needed to feel your cum in his mouth and how it had become a mission to always eat you out before fucking you.

“Such a dirty little girl, getting this wet.” His breath was heavy, but he wanted more, pressing further into your cunt, his tongue swirling inside, the saliva mixing with your slick. His chin grazed your inner thighs, you always loved the feeling of the hairs brushing against your body. Often grabbing his chin when you both kissed just to feel the hairs brush against your palm.

“I...I...cum.” You could barely form words through the moans and groans that filled the car.

“Cum in my mouth baby, let me taste you all.” He whispered his hot breath against your cunt as he continued to lap his tongue in your folds. His hand had been moving along with his tongue, fingers pinching and tugging at your hard nipples.

“Jean.” You gave a final moan feeling yourself climax at the sheer power his tongue had inside of you. Cum dripped from his mouth, you saw him lick his lips to get rid of the cum that encased his lips.

“Such a good little cumslut, want me to fuck you now?” He teased already undoing his belt, your legs remained above his shoulders, but in a quick instant he moved them to his side waiting for your answer.

“Please, fuck me sir.” Tears had welled up in your eyes, the feeling of his tongue making your cunt throb for more. How could he resist those tears, the mascara dripping down to leave a black stain down your cheeks.

He gave a cocky grin, letting his belt fall to the ground before taking the hoodie he had worn off. The way his trousers were kicked to the front seat and he was left for you to admire sent a sensation through your body. He removed your skirt entirely, leaving soft kisses up your thighs to your stomach, before taking the shirt and pulling it over your head. “My pretty little thing.” He toyed undoing your bra to let your breasts spill out.

His mouth attached to your right nipple, his left hand still massaging the other. You felt him swirl his tongue against the hardened tit, arching your back to make more of your breast fit inside of his mouth. “Baby, fuck me please.” You were out of breath and could feel his hardened cock brush against your thigh.

“Are you begging, slut?” He moved his mouth to your neck, his hot breath fanning your breath waiting for an answer.

You looked down your hands moving to his hair and back, “please Sir.”

He smirked cockily, pulling his boxers down, letting his cock curve upwards ready to skim it past your folds. His hand lazily pumped back and forth to get him harder before you felt him direct his cock between your clit, sliding up and down your cum filled hole, “Je...Jean.”

“Come on baby, moan my name for me.” Your hands had reached for his hair pulling him towards your face.

“Jean.” You gave a lewd moan into his ear before feeling his cock slam into your velvety walls.

“You’re so tight even after I've gotten you to cum.” He mutters feeling suffocated within your walls. He brought his body down onto your own, your legs by his side as he began to move out of your cunt in a slow pace.

“Faster.” You breathed out.

“Sluts, don’t get an opinion.” He wanted to edge you till you felt dumb, he wanted to see those tears and watch as you begged for more. He may have moved slowly out but the noise of you moaning in his hair and pulling at his hair had made his slam into you quicker. He repeated it a couple times before seeing how your chest heaved under him, his bite marks cascading across your boobs and neck. You looked bruised and broken but the moans and look of your eyes rolling back had made him realise just how much you loved it.

With a quickened pace, he felt himself go deeper and deeper inside of your cunt, the cum that had been left inside of you, helping him slide back and forth. “Doing such a good job, baby.”

The praise was something Jean always came back too, the first time you both fucked you were unable to walk just at the sheer size of his cock. He knew to always praise you for doing so well with him, to make sure you knew that you could use his cock however you wanted too. “I… love you.” It was muffled through how Jean and you had been face to face, his mouth across your jaw, feeling the wetness still around his chin and face.

Looking into your eyes at the comment, he saw how truly in love he was, even with the quickened pace of him fucking you raw, you truly were in love with the man. “I love you too.” He spoke capturing your lips with his own, you had missed his mouth on your own. His tongue sucked on its own, allowing for more of your cum to mix inside of your mouth, you could feel yourself coil up inside, ready to orgasm for a second time.

He could see how your hands had stopped tugging as forcefully on his hair, how your nails had stopped scratching his back and instead skimmed across his skin. “You going to cum for me.”

“Ye…” You could barely speak at his pace increasing, wanting to fuck all the cum out of you in a matter of seconds. His mouth went to your neck, hand moving to take your own, he felt your fingers lace between your own as he sucked on the skin.

“Cum for me.” He ordered feeling you gush on top of his blushed cock, he felt himself cum from the feeling of being able to slide even more into your body, feeling his cum shoot inside of you. A bulge being prominent through your stomach of being filled up, “such a good girl.”

He kissed the top of your head with praise, sweat and cum filling the car, you only nodded unable to speak at the pleasure you had just encountered. He took you in his hands, letting you lean against his body. Moving the strands of hair that stuck to your body, he looked at how pretty you looked, even with the dishevelled hair and cum seeping out from your sore cunt. You looked as pretty as always, his pretty girl.

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525 notes · View notes

prongsmydeer · 6 years ago

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2:

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oth #liveblogging #long post #a very long post lmao #one tree hill #this is the kind of content i make now lol

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years ago

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

o hai rayfa

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”.

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude.

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

phew. im glad Maya’s ok.

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov.

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

...a tasty... hash house

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

oh well that was abrupt

meh, onwards to the tomb

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts.

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames.

ooh i like that last one though

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice.

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

oh ok he didnt say anything

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad?

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you?

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im gonna do this; I'm gonna finish it. i swear.]

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