#this is my soapbox and I can go on and on

[lovemyromance]

Idk how people see that I have a Elriel blog where I tag every single post properly and come to the conclusion that I am trying to bait Eluciens/Gwynriels.

First of all, I'm well aware they stalk me regardless of how I tag all my posts. Second of all, pretty sure there's some bored housewife anon out there trying to rile everyone up by sending my posts directly into their inboxes. Now if they're stupid enough to believe it's an Elriel and answer the anon, feeding into the hate in this fandom, that's none of my business. But I'll just say I have been saying to just ignore these anons from the start and have not answered any troll asks. All this talk about reading comprehension and they can't even comprehend a troll anon ask

The only time I have interacted with an anti-Elriel is when they come onto my blog and reply to a post. I have never resorted to name calling or personal insults. That's not my style and I'm not going to insult a real person over my views on a fictional story.

That being said, I'm well aware most antis have me blocked. They genuinely cannot handle even seeing my posts, they cannot handle me refuting their headcanons and "interpretations" with actual canon text. So they get angry and whip out the "Elain is a fictional character" condescending diss. Like we don't already know that? They get so worked up when you hit them with facts that they immediately block, immediately just claim to anyone and their mother that Elriels are toxic and shameful and rude.

Rude? About what? I know they have a hard time backing up claims with textual evidence, but can any one of them point to a single instance where I personally insulted someone?

I guarantee they cannot because I don't do that shit. Pointing out they are wrong with actual canon is not "rude". If they can't handle that their hopes and dreams for this book are just headcanons, then they definitely won't be able to handle when the Elriel book is actually published.

And to clarify, I'm not out here posting on my Elriel blog to change anyone's mind about their ship. Ships are preferences. You are entitled to your opinion. You can ignore everything in the books and simply say you want Elain & Lucien together and that is FINE.

What is wild is attacking Elriels for reading the books as they are. Claiming things that are quite frankly not there because "that's your interpretation". It's a fictional story. A simple fictional story. I'm not standing out here on a soapbox trying to convince people to ship Elriel. I do not care. I am trying to enjoy my space in peace. Let me enjoy my corner of the internet and if you intend on trying to argue with me, don't act so surprised when I bite back.

[nethhiri]

Ok uuum the tags in that one ask "don't get your loved ones autopsies, unless you really need to" like, what do you mean? I'm curious now

To preface this, I really wanted to be a forensic pathologist and thought autopsies were the coolest and most useful thing (and they are in forensics) and I was very pro-autopsy. I'm also not an expert and this is not medical advice by any means, just opinion.

Specifically hospital autopsy. Can autopsies help? Yes, absolutely. However, the majority of the time, there’s not really an answer OR the clinical team already knows what happened so there’s not a need to perform one. Medical testing is so advanced that there's really nothing left to be 'uncovered'. For some people, it's more of a closure thing and I can understand that.

Basically, no matter how gentle or respectful you are of a decedent, the bottom line is that you’re taking someone apart permanently. I feel like a lot of people aren’t properly consented and have no idea what actually happens. The idea of taking someone's mom/grandpa/daughter/etc apart unnecessarily or without them knowing the extent of what happens is the part that really bothers me.

I don’t want to go into crazy detail but I’ll put a summary under the cut anyways.

After we do the Y-incision to open, we use shears to cut the ribcage off. Take out all of the organs, in some places this includes all the way up to the tongue. When the autopsy is done, we don't put organs back unless it is specifically requested 'organs back'. Even then, they're put back in plastic biohazard bags inside the person. We don't put all the organs back where they're supposed to go. If it's not 'organs back', those plastic bags full of organs are essentially placed in big biohazard trash boxes and incinerated later. The ribcage is placed back in the body cavity and the skin is sewn over it, but it sags down bc there's nothing in there anymore (the funeral home fixes it up nicely so you can't tell). If the brain has to be examined, we also have to use a bone saw to open the head.

The worst part for me is that to tie off the carotids, we have to pull the neck skin over the person's face and I think it's just barbaric.

[heynhay]

let's drive out

[mamawasatesttube]

perry with some words of wisdom in superman: lex 2000 ("just because this country is about to go to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean this newspaper does, too!") (and we are all the newspaper, really.)

[ratislatis]

I'll find you. Wait for me.

hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!

[jessaerys]

sun visits the moon at spk headquarters and gets so so so sleepy

[primus-why]

I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...

Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?

Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."

It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:

B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.

OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.

Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.

Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.

Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...

And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.

I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)

Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"

Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."

"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"

*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*

[guildwuff2]

sorry it's late but i'm a night owl and i'm still thinkin' about the screenshots people have posted, like

...the fact that these people were wanting to use large language models to write their RP posts, or generate rps in general. it's genuinely kinda heartbreaking to think about, rp is a collaborative effort with multiple people to make really fun and personal stories in settings you enjoy with characters you relate to, or just a concept you want to explore. i've met so many amazing people that i talk to every day through rp, i've had friends i met through rp or rp platforms online that i've gone on to meet in person, multiple times in some cases.

what do you gain from rping with an LLM? all it's doing is predictive text. i want to connect with people, through characters connecting or characters in conflict, and grow as a creative! and, hell, grow as a person. the trajectories i've written characters in have gone in ways i've not expected before and it becomes an opportunity for introspection, and there's absolutely no way i'd ever get that from having a machine write the post for me.

writing is hard! art is hard! it takes years of practice, trial and error, mistakes, and taking inspiration from the media you love. the only answer is to connect with those artists and authors, connect with people in the same boat as you and want to improve as creators. using LLMs just takes the humanity out of the whole process.

[elllteo]

Creators I love you but it's time to wake up

Among rumors about our tumblr user data being sold off to Midjourney/Generative AI, recent Extremely transphobic events (that have been ongoing) coming to a head, another extremely concerning internet censorship bill being pushed in upper levels of government, and a general air of frustration over how the site belongs to and is operated by perhaps the second stupidest CEO (second only to twitters own) of our age, I'm very done with the last few vestiges of what the old internet held for artists.

And if you're reading this, you probably are too.

I know we're tired. We are all tired. It is not always viable to pack up shop and move, again and again and again.

From tumblr to twitter to anywhere else we've ever grown up posting, things no longer work. Our audiences are kneecapped by aggressive and hostile algorithms, our reach is abysmal - if we aren't shadow-banned or silenced for one (transphobic) reason or another, we're thrust into an ever growing pit of hostility where the only thing that drives clicks is fighting and contention.

We're tired. We're so fucking tired. We aren't businesses, we aren't content mills, we cannot keep this pace that modern social media has set for us, to wring every ounce of creativity out of us to profit from and leave us rotting.

The key to staying afloat here, and I cannot stress this enough, is to stay connected to your peers.

Pack up and move as units if you must. Exodus from the sites that are killing us. Push your entire friend group of artists to move from one site to the next that promises you a kinder experience.

Art drives movements, it drives change, it is all that encompasses being human. If you take that away from the shitty places, they will be left with nothing but a cesspit of inhumanity and the people who follow you will be more incentivized than ever to move with you.

Yes, this is terrifying. There are no guarantees. There never was, and never are, and never will be.

But stay connected. Stay human.

Support each other and be willing to hold hands and jump when we all - as a group - need to jump from the flames we're all trying to convince ourselves wont kill us before rescue comes.

Rescue isn't coming, rescue will be found hand in hand with each other. I'm offering you my hand, please take it. There's always a new start, there are always helping hands reaching for you. You have to look up from the doom-scroll long enough to see and take them.

[avocadoraisin]

Is it possible we’ll be getting more hoffstrahm fluff soon???

i mean, you will, inevitably! but i kindly need some ppl to realize my last art piece only being ~2 days old & my last fluff piece being only ~1 week old respectively is.. Not long ago LMAO

like damn i just. i just drew!! haha

[murderballadeer]

my sister has two different friends who found out they have a whole second uterus bc they went to the gynaecologist for an unrelated issue and the tests the doctor ordered showed they had a second uterus. and i have some stuff going on that warrants going to a gynaecologist but i'm scared bc what if they tell me i have a second uterus how will i cope with that

[dr-will-wood-confessions-is-dead]

I wish I was joking but my parents made me play the ukulele for my grandparents for their anniversary in a very public restaurant (we literally had to ask the music guy to stop and I wanted to cry) but because I’m wildly mentally I’ll I only knew Will Wood songs on it so I had to play the shittiest most awkward cover of The Song With Five Names for my poor, poor grandparents. I forgot the lyrics halfway through. It was horrendous.

[sappholovell]

Hot take: treating Riko like an intelligent person who suffered through his life doesn't automatically make you an apologist for the things he does.

Like, he grew up in the Nest. He had no autonomy. He hurt other people, but "Riko suffered under his uncle and the way that physical and emotional abuse is built into the Nest" and "Riko also caused a lot of that physical and emotional abuse, especially towards specific people" are two statements that can coexist. After he broke Kevin's hand he wasn't allowed on camera because of how badly Tetsuji beat him.

Do I think that any of that excuses what he did to Kevin, Jean, Neil, and literally everyone else? No, he still did that shit. But I don't think that shippers and artists are automatically bad people, and I'm sick and tired of everyone acting like they are. Someone drawing a fictional antagonist in a playboy bunny outfit isn't going to bring upon the end times.

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[agirlking]

“The Sullys didn’t owe Spider anything, they didn’t adopt him.” It is basic decency to not leave a child with the murderers that kidnapped him. Much less a child you knew since infancy, much less a child who at least two of your children love like he’s their own brother.

[kaurwreck]

you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.