#this is my second longest story and I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW

[mirohlayo]

THE ONLY ONE | LN4

( lando and you are on a break because of an argument. but he needs you back. )

warning : angst, fluff, some jealousy, happy ending ofc

word count : 5.1k

note : the longest thing i have ever written with 5k words 😭 pretty proud of it, hope it's not too long lol

!! english not my first language !!

lando sighs as he watches for around the 30th time your instagram story. it was a picture of your outfit of the day, but the little detail - or big detail for him - was the unknown man standing next to you and his clothes matching with yours. lando can't help but rewatch again and again your story throughout all the day. of course, he loves your outfit. he thinks everything suits you, either an elegant dress or just a big hoodie. it was not the problem. but why the fuck your outfit matched with the one of an other man than him ? he just don't understand. usually, he would be and was the only one to match with your outfit. it was kind of your love language, and lando loves it. every time you asked him to wear the same clothes as you, he never refused the offer and even lend you one of his hoodie. it is something very special for him, so when he saw you doing this with an other man than him, he really didn't like it. actually, he hated it.

and the worse ? he is once again looking at your story, laying in your shared bed in his monaco apartment, clinging to your pillow. oh poor him. there is still the scent of you and your shampoo filled in the pillow you used to sleep on when you passed the nights with your loved one. he's holding onto it anytime he's missing you, which is basically every minutes. he smells your fragrance, finding so much comfort in it. and he would also imagines you next to him, cuddling his body and playing with his hair. but these are just memories now. it seems long time ago for him, when the last time you saw each other was actually around 3 weeks now. but it was not a good last time. completely the opposite. and he curses himself when he remembers what happened that day.

"fuck, who is this... thing ? guy ?" he says, throwing his phone over the blankets. for real, who was this man next to you ? have you already forget him and moved on ? but no, you guys are still together. theoretically. yes, the last time you talked to each other was during an argument, but when you left him all alone in his apartment, you didn't say you broke up with him. you just left, furious and mostly hurt. you were on a break. you didn't talk together since the argument, didn't send any text messages that you both would always send every hours because of how much you missed each other. 3 weeks without any contacts. but the thing you don't know is lando still looking at your social medias accounts everyday, missing you dearly. sometimes he hesitates, if he should like or not your stories.

every days, every hours, every minutes, every seconds are hurtful without you. he's still playing again and again in his head the last smile he captured of you. he is missing you so fucking bad. and the only person he can blame is himself. yes, he is the one to blame at. he was the one who started the argument and the one to say the most rude and hurtful words. and he feels so much guilty about it. he can't stand the fact he was the one who hurt and upset the most precious person to his eyes. everything is his fault. and now he thinks he's just a fool who don't deserve you. it pains so much his heart, and he's getting sick of it. he needs you again. he needs to see you again. he needs to kiss and hug you again.

he let a scream out, overthinking about the situation. he grabs his phone and opens the text app. he clicks on your name, and starts typing something. but what ? hello ? hi ? can we talk together ? no. he just can't send you some stupid messages and thinks everything will be perfect again like 3 weeks ago. what was he thinking ? he sighs longly and decides to take a shower to stop thinking about you. but he damn knows that's impossible because every single thing reminds him of you.

like taking showers. you would often showered with him because he loves showering together. washing your hair and hugging you to warm your freezing body meanwhile the cold water was turning hot. and then after you doing his haircare routine, styling his damp curls while he was just looking at you with adoration. or when you guys would spend your evenings together, cuddling close under a woolen plaid on the couch, watching a movie until one of you two would fall asleep. or when you cooked some recipes and it ended up in a food battle. god he's craving of those moments again. he really needs to do something...

-

race day. it is sunday today and of course lando have to race. he don't know it, but you are in the paddock club. yes, even if you're on a break in your relationship, you couldn't miss a race and decided to attend it. those last 3 weeks, you didn't miss a single one races. you didn't attend them, because you were still hurt by lando's words and you didn't want his fans to see you present there, so you just watched the races and your papaya driver on the tv. but you missed so much seeing him in reality, so you attend today's race. of course, you are wearing glasses and a cap to not be recognizable. and you're also sitting in a hidden corner.

lando has no clue that you are here, watching his car moving around. and you have no clue that he is thinking about you and the way he's going to apologize to you. so as the race passes, you keep an eye on his car. your heart and your being feels weird. the amount of love you have for him is still here, and it never shaded away for the past 3 weeks. not a single bit. but of course you are still upset and hurt. the words he said to you broke you into tears. you love him so much, never you loved someone like that. so when he told you those mean things, you felt weak. and very very sad.

in a blink, the race is already finished. fans wave at the drivers who are celebrating the podium with their race team. you smile, admiring the place. you would be lying if you said you didn't missed races. you were always happy to attend one. maybe for the race, or maybe just to spend more time with lando. by the way, he didn't finish on the podium but still get p4. and despite the fact you are still gloomy, you are proud of him, like usually. because he's just the best after all.

now you have to leave the track. of course, you would have love to stay and join your favorite driver, but he don't know you are here and you don't want him to see you. because nobody has already apologize. and it's been 3 weeks since you haven't seen and spoken to him. it would be awkwardly embarrassing. so you have to take precautions and be prudent to not be seen by any mclaren team member. you go down the balcony's stairs, lowering your head and hiding your face with the cap. of course it has to be an orange cap, because it is the only hat you have. an other way to be even more discreet, huh. but it works well. you are now in the paddock area, just in front of the mclaren one. you recognize a lot of engineers and people who work with your boyfriend and you hope deep inside you they don't see and recognize you. but it seems like you failed it.

"y/n ?" oh. oh... it's not just anyone. it's not just a random maclaren team member. no. it is him. it's his voice. his voice that you missed hearing. it's lando norris. you stop, and don't know what to do. and don't know how to react. so you stay like this, turning your back on him. "y/n ? is it you ?" you close your eyes and exhale, you're not really in the mood to talk to him. the only person you shouldn't meet is now facing you. you turn around and keep your head low, you don't have the force to look at him.

you just remove your glasses and put them in your pocket. "why are you here ?" he asks confused, but you can tell he's concerned about it. "to... support you, i guess ?". you finally give up and cross his gaze. and it aches your heart. he looks tired, i mean of course he just finished a 2 hours race but still he looks even tired than usually. his face is pale, doesn't have much color. and his eyes are so tiny, so many emotions in them. "oh ok. huhh thank you...". he answers awkwardly. you bite your lower lip, the atmosphere is, well, very awkward yes. "so, how are you?" you ask to get rid of this tension.

how he is ? fuck this question. he doesn't even want to answer. does he really need to say that he blames himself every day, that he can't sleep because of how much he cries thinking about you, that he skips dinners because of how bad he's feeling ? he never felt like that with any person. it is the first time his whole being aches that much. but he can't tell you that, he knows you will not forgive him that easily. "good. and you ?" he says, avoiding your gaze. "good too" you hum sotfly. he knows damn well that's a lie, because even your tone betrayed you. he tries to take a look at you. his heart squeezes in pain, the view in front of him is heartbreaking. you look as tired as him. and as pale as him too. where is the smile he loves so much gone ? the shining sparkles in your pretty eyes ?

he fights the urge to pull you in his arms. but he's the one at fault, he can only blame himself. "hum, i'll go now" "no." he answers back to back and you look at him confused and surprised. "i-i mean you're going back to monaco ?" he stutters. "no, i'll join a friend of mine" you says coldly. "oh... ok..." god he sounds so sad, it pains you. you struggles to not hug him. because yes, you're hurt, but you still love him like crazy. "well... oh and good job today" you quickly say and starts to leave, not wanting to stay more here. you don't turn back, but lando is now smiling softly, watching you fade away in the crowd. "thank you, love" he whisper to himself.

he sighs, blinking slowly. now memories are coming back, and he remembers what happened that night, when everything went wrong in only one second.

- -

you were very tired. a hard day of work. so when you came home, in your lover's apartment in monaco, all you wanted was to follow him around like a puppy and cuddle him. you were so clingy and so needy. it was rare, very very rare for you to be like that, all clingy and needy, so when that night you doubled it, it was kind of surprising and shocking. usually, lando loves when you get clingy, when you want him all for yourself. because it not happens often, so of course he cherishes these moments. but that night, it was different. he didn't like the way you acted with him. you kept following him around the apartment, touching him gently and innocently. like grabbing his hand, placing soft kisses on his cheeks, back hugs. you just wanted his attention. you just wanted your lover. but he didn't seems he felt the same about you. first, he didn't care much. he just didn't returned back your affection. but the more you were getting clingy, the more he was getting angry. he started to hate it.

you tried to kiss him on the lips and instead of kissing you back roughly, he turned his head and your lips pressed against his cheek. you paused for a second, confused. you frowned and tried to understand why he did that. why your lover didn't return back your hugs ? your kisses ? why he acted like you didn't even exist ? you placed your hand on his forearm but he shifted. your heart squeezed, why was he like this ? usually, he was the neediest one and the one getting even clingier. you were lost.

"baby, why you don't kiss me back ?" you asked softly. lando sighed and he seemed annoyed. he didn't even dare to reply. which hurt you. you moved and stopped before him. "something is wrong ? something bothers you ?" you tried to understand why he was in this mood, you wanted to help him talk about whatever bothered his thoughts. but you didn't expect to hear that. "yes, you." he hissed. your face deformed. did you hear well ? "w-what ?" you stuttered. "you. it's you. you fucking annoy me". you blinked and took some few steps back. your being hurt, your heart was broken. "what do you mean ?"

"you're so clingy and needy and i fucking hate it. stop being like that and stop touching me. you're so annoying" he threw these words at you, giving you a death look as his furrowed his brows. oh pain was real. you felt weak, you thought it was all a dream. but no, your lover was here, saying harsh words to you and kept hurting your poor little heart. and while you tried to understand his behavior - because he would never talk bad to you like that - a bulb lighted in your head.

it was qualifying. you remembered lando's week went bad and hard for him. bad practices, no luck, his slow car, his poor performance... nothing went right. and you knew how much f1 had an important impact on him and his mental health. he was so hard on himself and sometimes he would overthink about why he sucks at racing. this explains why he was acting like a shit with you. you knew it was that. he didn't want to do a bad race tomorrow. so instead of calm down and talk about it with you, he let out all his anger on you. it was like he took you as a punching ball and kept punching you, until you broke in pieces. you understand how he felt, racing is his job, he has to be the best. but let out his anger on your poor person even though you did nothing wrong, you couldn't take that. yes, he had the right to be angry and annoyed and whatever, but being harsh towards you won't make his performance better. so you tried to talk with him. or maybe argue with him.

"lando, please. i know you don't mean what you say." he stared at you and then walk closer to you. his gaze get through yours, and a storm appeared in it. "yes, i mean it y/n. you're getting on my nerves and i don't like that. maybe i don't like you too". wow. it was harsh. it was like getting stabbed again and again. he don't like you ? he really meant it ? now you were about to cry. tears filled your eyes, and you breathed harder to not let them run. and of course lando noticed it. "what, really ? are you going to cry ? you're the one who started it all and you think you can cry ? gosh you're so pathetic y/n". you shook your head and looked away because you knew soon your tears will drop. was he saying bullshit now ? "oh, you're really crying" he made fun of you and your statement. but you couldn't stand here and just cry. you had to speak up, to explain how you felt and explain that letting out his anger on you was not the solution. "please lando stop. i know it's because of racing that you're acting like that. you can be upset and annoyed but it can't justify the fact you burst your emotions on me. i did nothing wrong, i just want to help yo-" "it's not about racing !!!!" he yelled at you.

you almost jumped because of how much he scared you. he never yelled at you. never ever. he was so different from the lando you knew. lando was the perfect, caring, kindness boyfriend. who was so in love with you. not someone who yell and hurt you. "you can't even see it's you the problem. i don't need your shitty cuddles and hugs and everything. i never wanted you and i don't even need you. you sucks". "lando pleas-" "i wish i had never met you". and then he passed you to crawl on the couch, turning on the tv. he looked like he didn't even care about you anymore. your heart cried as your being hurt. the best thing that have ever came into your life just said he wish he had never met you. how hurtful it is. and you thought it was the race who made him angry like that, but it seemed like it's not the reason anymore. just him speaking maybe the truth and what he thinks about you. and you wished you were dreaming. but no, it was not.

you never had an argument with him. or when something was wrong, you would always talk about it. but it was so different. the person you loved the most broke you. pain, yeah, pain filled your body. it ached badly. you just wanted to leave. run far far away. so he couldn't hurt you anymore. "i'm leaving. i can't stay with you anymore so i'll go" "then go. get out of my apartment. i would be better off without you". it was one sentence too many. your tears ran down your cheeks, your face. you couldn't stop them. so you just leave, shutting the door behind you, as the one who broke you started to realize little by little what happened. and it was when guilt started to kick him.

-

"so fucking dumb you are" max says again, cursing at his friend's behavior towards you. "i know. don't remind me. i'm such an idiot" lando says again, cursing at himself. he is laying on his bed, re-watching your new instagram stories while max is sitting on the other side of the bed. "and for the fucking 40th time please stop looking at her stories. you've been doing this since this morning." max states, and try to grab his friend's phone who dodge it effortlessly. f1 driver reflexes yes. "then you stop sitting on this side of the bed. y/n's perfume will disappear because of you and your stinky scent". max rolls his eyes and finally stand up. "you're miserable".

lando sighs, and throws his phone over the blankets. "max help me... i'm so fucking lost without her." "but it's your own fault. you're the one to blame at". he shrugs and shake his head. "i know it's my fault max. don't you know i'm literally dying every single day because of how much i miss her ? that i'm crying because i will never find someone like her ? i'm in a shitty situation and i don't feel well because she's not with me. look, i'm in a pitiful state even though we did not even broken. what will i be like if we break up for real ? i don't even want to imagine it because i already know it will be awful." he passes his hand in his hair, ruffling them. "i've never felt like that about any exes, anyone. it's the first time i suffer like this, i don't know what to do...". max looks at his friend and his gaze softens. he hates seeing his best friend suffer, he can't stand it. "lando i can help you. and i will help you. but you have to promise me that you-" "SHE TEXTED ME !!!" lando suddenly screams.

"what ??" max jumps on the bed and sit next to him. "MAX !! SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE" lando is going crazy, he is just shocked. he don't even realizes what happens, he thinks he's dreaming. his heart is beating faster now. but max sighs as he reads the text you just sent, a simple "i'm coming to pick up some things in the evening". it is more a negative message because it means you're not staying in your boyfriend's apartment, but still lando is relieved by this one text. "lando, she's not staying. she's coming to pick up things because she don't want to live with you" "but it's her first text since 3 weeks ago ! she thinks about me too!"

max shakes his head and closes his eyes because he's getting a headache. "mate you don't get it" he says. but his friend don't listen, he is too focused on his phone. because he knows he's going to see her girlfriend soon, and he knows it will be the moment to apologize, to show her how much he cares about her. "max, help me. give me advices please. i'm listening". and then the two would spend the whole afternoon together, the streamer giving advices to the driver. lando is prepared, he don't want to loose his chance.

and then someone knocks on the door. he knows it is you because it's now around 6pm. max left 30 minutes ago. so it means you two will be alone together. lando almost tumbles because he ran towards the door at the speed of his mclaren livery. he takes a breath and opens the door.

oh.

your pretty face. the first thing he saw. his heart squeezes at the sight of you. your eyes, scanning his face and his body while he does the same for you. he can't believes you're standing in from of him, even though he saw you last week on sunday. but he's feeling worried now. you look super tired. dark circles under your tired eyes, your cheekbones more visible. you are as terrible as him. nobody dare to talk, and you start to feel awkward. "can i enter or maybe i just stay here until tomorrow ?" you say. "o-oh yes, come..." he shifts and you walk inside the apartment. and a weird feeling seizes you. every rooms of the apartment holds a memory from you and your boyfriend. the kitchen where he would cooks your breakfast, the living room where you would play karaokes. you feel nostalgic. and remember these memories makes you want to stay, to forgive lando, to be back together like before. but you put yourself together and fight this urge. you came for your things, not for him. or maybe it was also your intention. "how are you ?" he asks cautiously. "good. what about you ?" you reply. "good too". no, lies. from both of you.

you make your way to the bedroom. the first thing you see is your pillow above lando's one, as is he was sleeping on it. and the fact is that he was truly sleeping on it, your scent lulled him every nights. you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, you don't want to waste time. but there is a problem. and it's a big one. you have to sleep with lando tonight. not maybe in the same bed, but still you have to pass the night in his, well your shared apartment. those past 3 weeks, you were hosting at one of your friend's house. when lando asked you to moved in with him, you sold your old apartment. that's why you had nowhere to go, and lando was so worried about it but you weren't aware of it of course.

but your friend's parents were passing through and decided to pay a visit to your friend's house. you didn't want to intrude, so instead of worrying your friend you said you will buy an hotel room. what a coincidence you are now in your boyfriend apartment, sweating because you are scared to ask him to stay. so waiting for the fateful moment, you keep packing up things. you can also feel lando staring at you and his intense look burns your cheeks. "do you need anything ? you want something to eat ?" he asks sudenly, and you can hear he's caring about you by his tone. "no i'm okay, thank you" you simply answer.

your heart start pounding faster, and you sweat even more. god why were you so shy and scared ? he is your boyfriend after all, why would he refuse ? you play nervously with your necklace, the one lando gave you for your first date. you never took it off since now. "are you... okay ?" your boyfriend gives you a concerned look, he noticed you stopped packing your clothes. you take a deep breath and move to face him. "hum... can i..." your words don't want to leave your mouth. "can i stay here ? does it bothers you if i sleep here tonight ? if so then it's okay i will fin-" "no stay please." he rushes back. you look at him surprised. "i-i mean it doesn't bother me at all. you can sleep here". you give him a small smile and a little thank you. he smiles back, but unlike you it is a big, happy smile. the exact smile you love seeing from him. "huh, you can sleep on the bed, i'll go with the couch". he adds and you just nod.

lando just keep staring at you. of course, it disturbs you because sometimes you are putting useless things in your suitcase. he takes advantage of it to admire you. your body's silhouette he loved hugging, your shiny and soft hair he loved styling, your presence and its hold on him. you truly are precious to him. he knows he can't live without you in his life, it's just impossible. he needs you. not tomorrow, not in the next few hours. no. he needs you now. right now. he just can't stand the fact you're right here and can't kiss him or push him on the bed to cuddle him. he approaches you, and gently grabs your hand. surprisingly, you don't remove it and he melts down in the touch. "y/n... please listen to me". you sigh longly and turn your face to cross his eyes. you are also tired of it. even if he hurts you so bad, you can't stay far away from him because you need him as he needs you. "i'm listening". he strokes the back of your hand and takes your chin in his fingers to lift up your head, forcing you to look at him.

"i'm so fucking sorry y/n. so so sorry. you have no idea how much i blame myself and i feel so guilty every day. i'm the worst boyfriend ever, i don't even deserve you. every single minutes i keep thinking about what i said that day and if i could i would go back in time. because i regret so much those hurtful and cruel words i said to you. and you have to believe me, i didn't meant not a single word. i can't stand the fact that i'm the one who hurt you when i said i would punch the person who would did it". you try to reply back but he's so into it now. "please let me finish. i love you. i'm so madly and deeply in love with you. if you ever ask me to bring down the stars and the moon for you i'll do it. i would do anything for you. i love you. i have never loved someone like that. even with my exes, i never felt like that before, i never wanted someone so bad than you. you're the only one for me. nobody can replace you y/n. you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'll never let anything and anyone taking you from me. i need you in my life and i want you in my life because i can't imagine it without you. when i said i would be better without you, i so fucking lay. it's completely the opposite, i'm nothing without you. i would do anything for you to forgive me. because you're the only one, and you'll always be the only one."

tears are now running down his cheeks. and yours too. gosh he just let everything out, he has never been so desperate over someone. you can't stand it anymore and hug him tightly. he melts down in your hug and squeezes you. oh he missed you so much. he hides his wet face in the crook of your neck and keeps crying like a baby. you rub his back slowly and place a soft kiss on his hair. "i love you too lando. i'm so in love with you and i also need you." you simply say, because you know he already knows you're infatuated with him. and you guys stayed like that for fifteen minutes, lando keeping his arms around you. he don't want to let you go. he's so afraid of it now. "let's go cuddle in the bed. or maybe you still hate it" you tease him gently. "no. please. cuddle me. be clingy and needy, i'm only asking for it. don't go away from me." you two crumble into the bed and put the blankets over your bodies. lando curls up against you, his grip tight on you that you can barely breathe. he hides once again his head in the crook of your neck and one of his hand slips under your shirt, stroking your back. you start playing with his curls, something he loves and craves very much.

"i love you so much my baby" he suddenly says. you smile and peck his side profile. "me too lan". he lift up his head and your looks cross. he can't help it and a silly smile takes place on his lips. and he leans in, kissing you softly, your warm lips against his. he missed kissing you, so he really struggles to pull back. "besides i was such a liar. i'm the most needy and clingy one." you laugh hard and kiss him once again. he returns back the kiss and traces his way to your neck, planting soft kisses on it. "no for real, i would literally die without your cuddles. and just without you actually". you giggle and, you spend the rest of the night together. showering together again, cooking together again, playing karaokes together again. and of course, he didn't slept on the couch. but in your warm embrace which he's sure he'll never leave.

[yuyu1024]

Babe

Pairings: S.coups × y/n

Genre/tags: protective/possessive bf

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 fluff but smut, unprotected sex, pet names, cursing, semi public, handjob

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 3k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: looong time no post. ✨️I was away... got sick and mentally not doing okay... and I dont think im 100% okay yet...Its been hard but still trying my best :)

i might be coming back to writing here and there... but not consistent. Hopefully you understand...

meaning, i will be a �� in updating nor posting and won't be online mostly. 🖤

(i cant promise i can jump back to the Yoongi/Suga series yet also sorry 😭 hopefully one day but not soon.)

Me writing... is depending if im okay.

Also, Thank you for the kind messages in DMs. I really do appreciate them...even tho i don't reply 🖤 pls know its very helpful.

Thank you.

P.S its been a long time since i wrote anything so.... rusty.🥲 this is my just trying to get back to it.

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Seungcheol, your boyfriend, texted you to meet him at school. Which surprised you the second you read it because it has been weeks since he went to school.

He has been doing special online classes these past weeks as he can't walk. Yet. He slipped while playing soccer with the boys two months ago causing an injury on his left leg. It was very painful to watch him yell in pain during that game. It was supposed to be just a fun game with his friends and you and their other friends watching but yeah, accidents happen.

"What are you doing here?" You gasp the second you enter the University clinic and saw your boyfriend sitting and chatting with the school doctor.

"Babe." He smiles and opens his arm, asking for a welcome hug

"Babe!" You squeal and immediately run and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." He mumbles lightly lifting you off the floor even he's sitting on the clinic's bed.

He never lost his strength.

"Ditto." You say and kissed him on his cheek before letting go. "Wait... why are you here?" You ask again. "He can go back to school now?" You turn to ask the doctor behind you

"He can. But I still suggest no." He folds the folder his holding and sits down on his desk. "He can walk now with crutches easily yes... but... going up and down... walking building to building to classes...." doctor shakes his head

"I'm just here to visit, babe." Cheolie says caressing your back. "To report my health to him... to let know the team..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry..." he press his lips together and giving you an apologetic look.

"I'll leave you two to talk... I have to go on a meeting now in the faculty. Just let the nurse know when you leave okay? So she can assist you with the wheel chair."

"Okay, doc. Thank you."

And as soon as the doctor leaves and shut the door close behind him, Seungcheol immediately grabs you by the waist, pull you close to his body and leans in to fully kiss you.

It feels rushed at the beginning but as soon as you find the perfect spot to lean your body weight to his, it felt smooth and just sensational. You even opened your mouth completely to let his tongue explore you.

You two haven't kissed for awhile. The rent is due.

"I missed you so much." He whisper as he pulls away to take a breather.

"This is the longest we've been away from each other..." you say as you straighten your stand

"Yeah... I got busy healing..."

"And I got busy at school... and at home..." you answer as you sit down beside him. "How are you feeling at the moment?"

"Good....well.. better now that I've kissed you." He smirks and plants a tiny kiss on your temple

"Babe..." you lean on his shoulder

"You know you always make me feel good..." he chuckles. "Also... Doc said my leg is healing pretty good..."

"That's good to hear..." you stand up once again. "So... can I--"

And before you could ask him another question about visiting him soon at home Seungcheol kisses you on your cheek and then on the back of your hand.

"Thank you for always calling me... every night... making sure to check on me... give me updates at school and being an understanding girlfriend. Even though you are tired yourself."

"I didn't do that much." You say holding his hand. "If only I could visit you personally I would..."

But you couldn't. It's not like he leaves far away from you. It's just that you wanted him to just rest. You know how he is when he sees you. He gets excited and acts everything is fine even though he is in pain.

He would probably force himself to get up when you visit him. It's kind og his thing to show off he is strong. Especially to you. He is your alpha lover.

"No...babe. just you calling has saved me from a lot of bad moods and not doing my therapies because... I'm not in the mood." He kisses your hand again.

"Well I'm glad... I could help..." you say smiling.

"And also..." he then bites his lower lip whilst smiling. You already know what he's about to say with those cheeky smirks.

"Hush..." you cover his mouth with your hand, scared that he might say it outloud and the nurse from behind the door might hear. "That's for us only..." you whisper.

He is referring to the video call sessions you do every now and then. To help him when he is... sad and horny.

"You promised... no one should know..."

"Of course..." he murmurs, his mouth is still covered by your hand. "The images are for my eyes to see and for my dick to feel only." He adds and then playfully licks your palm, making you jump a little.

"Hey!" You slap him on his shoulder

He is grinning so much. He is enjoying your reactions. "You're so adorable being shy..." he puts his arm around your waist, securing you between his legs. "My shy little fairy..." he mumbles just before he kisses you again.

You don't deny him of any sort of making out. Even at the clinic. Why woulf you? You missed him so bad too.

So bad that even his hands is skimming your body and even lifting your short A-Line skirt, exposing your bum, just to squeeze it is fine. Perfectly fine.

"Wait." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "You are wearing a skirt this short... with no protective shorts under?"

"Hmm?" You look at him, confused for a second. "Oh."

He is yout alpha, yes. And one trait of him that is very dominant is him being protective of you. He does not like anyone hurting you, being mean to you and most especially drooling over you. You are his and only his.

"What you mean oh?" He raises a brow. "Well? Why aren't you wearing one?"

You don't have a good excuse. You just forgot. Well... you have been forgetting since he have been away.

"Y/N..."

"You're now calling me by name...." you move back away a little. "I'm sorry... I have no excuse..."

"What if some maniac sees you? When you go up stairs? Or the elevator in the media building? You know its glass right? They can see... what if wind blows and..." he sighs, frustrated. "You know how most guys are."

"I know... I'm really sorry." You pout. "I didn't purposely forget it..."

You see the change in his mood. He is very possessive of you so you know that just the idea of any guy looking at you because they find you cute or have interest of being close to you and whatever, he's already on guard.

He sighs again and also he's already grabbing his crutches.

"Leaving already?" You say in the softes tone.

"Yeah..." he stands up and calls on the nurse for assistance.

"Okay..." you lower your gaze.

You are not sure how to tame your boyfriend since this time you know you are at fault for forgetting and breaking a promise you told him after he was told to stay at home.

You stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Just... call me when you get home."

"I will not call you." He says as he sits down on the wheel chair. "You're coming home with me."

"Wait. What?" You ask

The nurse enters the room and greets the two of you.

"Ready to go home?" The nurse asks

"Yes." Seungcheol smiles at her. "I have a scheduled therapy this afternoon..."

"Oh... I see... goodluck then." She says as she helps to push your boyfriend

"Y/N..." he calls your name out again.

This is the second time he called you by name. He is clearly not okay with the skirt situation. This never happened before.

***

You both arrived at his parent's house. They welcomed you and hugged you even. They thanked you for being a support system for their son even though physically you can't come because, well, they know how their son acts around you.

It's not a secret that their son is so in love with you that he's very clingy and trying to act cool and such.

"I already made food for the two of you so just reheat it if you decide to eat later."

"Oh. Thank you Mrs. Choi." You say

"It's nothing dear... also... thank you for being his care taker for tonight... we will enjoy our night on out staycation at the city." His mother says

You are stunned to hear what Mrs. Choi just said. You can't react beside just smiling and nodding. "Ah... ahm... don't worry about us... I'm going to take good care of him."

"Thank you, again." Mr. Choi says.

"We'll get going now... see you tomorrow afternoon, dear." She says to her son who is sitting in the sofa drinking his cola.

"Have fun, Mom and Dad!" He waves at them

And as soon the door shuts and you hear the car engine from outside.

"What the fuck was that?" You stomp you way towards him. "Care taker... tonight?? Babe?"

Nonchalantly he answers. "You will be staying for the night here with me... until tomorrow..."

"Why?"

"Why not?" He looks at you with a coldest stare. "Do you have any other plans? Are you meeting with anyone?"

"No..."

"And then... stay...."

"But... my parents..."

"I already told them... they are fine with it."

"When?"

"I called them earlier... before I texted you to come to the clinic."

You are in complete shock. "Cheolie..." you whine

"Now, you're calling me by name?" He raises a brow. "Why are you acting like that? It's like you don't want to stay with me."

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

You sigh. You are lost for words.

Yes you should be happy you are spending time with your boyfriend but he could've told you. You would say yes if he asked or told you.

You are just stunned maybe or confused with him doing this too since he's been being snappy at you since earlier.

"Whatever." You mumble throwing your bag to the floor and just sitting down at the chair opposite of where he's sitting.

Now you are the one in the bad mood.

"I still have the clothes and undergarments you left from last time..." he then says in a much calmer tone.

"Okay." You answer not looking at him.

You are not mad at him. You are just not happy with what he did. He probably wanted to surprise you with the idea earlier but since it got ruined during your clinic make out session. Now things are...

"Babe." He calls you

You turn your head to look at him. He looks serene now.

"Can you please come here..." he says

You get up and make your way to him, to sit down beside him.

"Not there." He says holding on to your wrist and leading you to move somewhere else. "Here..." he gestures for you to sit on top of him.

"But... your leg..."

"I can manage..." he breathes and then tugs you down so he could kiss you, cupping your face with one hand.

Your hands are now on his chest for balance support. You tried pulling away from the kiss but

"Sit..." he says in between the kiss.

And you do as he says. Kneeling down on the sofa, legs spread between his thighs, you sit down on him and slowly put your arms around his neck.

"Cheolie..." your lips part ways as you spoke and he tries to chase the kiss again but you bite your lips together. "Wait..."

"Why...?" He pouts

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" He runs his hands from your legs to your thighs and then underneath your skirt.

"You were just so cold to me... not even talking to me like I'm your girlfriend... and now you're kissing me and touching me..."

He throws his head back for a second and then sighs. "Babe, I'm sorry.... I was... well..."

"I said I'm sorry about the skirt... Don't worry. I will just wear pants starting on monday...."

"You sure?"

"Yeah... I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose. "I will just wear skirts when I'm with you."

"Really?" He raises a brow with matching smirk, biting his lower lip.

"Yeah..." you move your hips forward knowing what this tiny move will do to him. "I know you like to have easy access with me when we're together..." you softly say

He grunts as he feel you move a bit more. Rocking your hips over his erection that's sort of protected by his black jogging pants.

"I know what you're doing..." he hums

"And I know you like... what I'm doing..."

His smile goes ear to ear. "You're lucky I can't stand on my own yet... If I could..."

"What will you do?"

"Carry you over my shoulders and spread you on top of my bed..."

"And...?" You put your forehead to his.

"And...fuck you 'till dawn..."

Just the thought made you horny and wanting him. But since he can't do what he usually does to you, you decide to handle this on your own.

"You can still fuck me..." you say, grinning. "We have all night till tomorrow to find a way... a position you want me to be in."

"Fucking hell, babe." He grunts, sounding excited and turned on.

You adjust your position, making sure you can access him easily. Him meaning his long veiny length that's already leaking.

"Shit! Ah!" His mouth drops the second you hold onto him. His eyebrows is showing how he's loving the way you stroke and pump him. "Babe..." he moans. "Babe... aaaaahhh..." he throws his head back, his hands on his hair, trying to hold on to reality coz he is floating in heaven right now.

"Should I... let the tip touch me?"

"Touch... you?" He looks at you, brows furrowed from the high.

You already removed your panties off without him noticing.

"Yes... like this...." you then adjust your position back on top of him and lowered yourself just enough for the tip of his dick feel your entrance.

"Babe, fuck!" He snarls throwing his head back. "Your so damn wet already..."

You let him feel the wetness for awhile before you ease him in you.

"Holy... shiiiiit!"

"Ngggeeeaaah..." you breathe in as you suck him in whole.

"You're doing great babe." He pushes the hair off your face. "Don't rush it... just... feel it... feel me..."

When he's completely in you, you didn't move. You just hugged your man and took a breather.

"I can't believe my little fairy is being so daring..."

"Because I want to give you what you want... what you need..." you mumble on his neck.

"Babe, you know I can wait till I'm healed and ready to fuck you..."

"I know..." you look him in his eyes, "but I miss it too..."

"You do?"

You nod. "Us video calling... while we... you know... is not enough... I thought it was enough... but when I saw you earlier... I really did missed you more than I can imagine."

"You miss my dick?" He tease

"Babe!" You hide your face on his neck again.

"Ugh..." he suddenly moans. "Wow. I didn't know you get tigher when I tease you."

Seungcheol starts to move his hips a little, to ease dipper into you.

"Ah..." you exhale shakily. "Cheolie...hmmm...."

"You like that?"

"I do."

Then you start to move yourself.

You leaned back a little, pushing forward and pulling backward in motion to meet his slow but deep thrusting.

"Cheolie..." you cry his name as you feel like reaching your climax.

"Just let it go..."

"Fuck!" You throw your head back, panting and shaking. "Come with me..." you say, "come....with me..." you clentch more down there, making him feel the tightness.

"But babe..." biting on his lips, hissing and trying to control himself. "We don't have condoms."

"I don't care." You lean in for a sloppy kiss. "Come with me. I need to see you... melt with me..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Babe..."

"Please..." you beg, "I want to feel it..."

"Fuck it!" He snarls as he goes to squeeze your ass under your skirt as he picks up the pace with you

It's amazing how strong he is. Even with an injured leg he could lift his hips to meet yours.

"Aaah!!" You moan as loudly as you can as you felt something in you pop.

He growls as soon as feel his length starts to release and feel the warmth in you.

"Fuck babe..." he is panting. "Our first time you being on top..."

Embarassed after your orgasm, you hug your man and hide your face again. "I only did what I know and can..."

"You did amazing... your handjob is what I needed to get me into the a frenzy." Then he kisses the top of your head. "I fucking love you... whatever you do... makes me love you even more..."

"I love you too..." you go for a kiss again. But then burst into a giggle when you felt him move. "You are still in me... I can feel you."

A smile spread over his lips, "Maybe we should continue this on my bed. I can do other positions and pump more in you if you want."

You grin, blushing. "I'd love to."

[its-time-to-write]

Omg I'm loving your response to my prompts!! thank you

I have a few ideas (You don't have to do them all) just throwing them out there to see what sparks ideas!!

I love secret admirer stories (I know its no where close to valentines day but still) maybe Reader is Rebecca's assistant and keeps getting gifts leading up to valentines day but she is pretty sure its like Sam or Isaac and tells friend Jaime (even though its really him) then the day of the grand finale and she comes to the lovely surprise of it being Jaime!

also if you could include Scarlett red roses in it for me (They are my favorite flower and the only flower I'm not allergic to)

So. I liked this one. Maybe too much? It might be the longest one I’ve written so far, so, uh, sorry about that. But I liked it a lot. It might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy. also the gif isn’t Jamie Tartt but it is Phil Dunster so hopefully that’s ok

honey, i’ll give you all my time

Good god, it’s February all ready. You have a love-hate relationship with the month; love, because Galentine’s Day and hate because Valentine’s Day. You and your friends would go out on February 15th to get discount chocolate from the shops, then return home for an ungodly amount of takeout and a movie. On the whole, you all preferred action movies with a good romance. 

You’re dreading Valentine’s Day because it’s when your boyfriend of two years held your hands in his, and told you he wanted to break up. 

That was a year ago. You’re mostly angry that he’s a dark stain on one of your favorite holidays. You’re absolutely determined not to let him ruin your enjoyment. 

This is also the first year you’re not with your friends. You moved away last March because you realized your ex had been holding you back in far too many ways. 

So. To recap. 

You’re alone. You love Valentine’s Day, despite it forever being the day of your breakup. Your friends aren’t here. You have new friends. There is no one to go to the shops with on the 15th. But discount chocolate is still discount chocolate. 

Your current job is as a personal assistant, something you excel at. You basically anticipate needs, meet them, and just generally make your employer’s life a whole lot easier. The application said the job required a lot of travel, but all expenses (minus some food) were covered. 

You were shocked when you got an interview, then a second, then a third, then were hired. 

Your boss is a woman named Rebecca Welton, and you’re half in love with her, but who isn’t, really?

You swear you’ve never been in such a healthy work environment. You mention it one day, early on, and she says it’s all thanks to their head coach, someone named Ted. 

You meet him for the first time later that day, and you understand. 

It’s impossible not to love him, because he has vision. He knows what he wants from his team, and he knows how to get it. 

He believes the team extends far beyond the players. 

He believes it extends to you, too. 

Ted and Coach Beard steal you from Rebecca as often as they can, claiming emergencies such as “a toxic amount of testosterone from all these boys,” “life-threatening boredom,” and last but not least, “there’s a new pun Ted absolutely needs to test right now and he won’t take no for an answer.”

(You like to give Ted honest feedback on his puns.) 

You also find yourself in their office when Rebecca is out for lunch, eating your respective sandwiches and swapping life stories. 

They remind you a lot of your parents.

It’s mid-June when you mention the Valentine’s Day story. 

It doesn’t hurt as much when it’s punctuated by Ted’s “he didn’ts” and Beard’s perfectly-timed gasps. 

You find yourself laughing halfway through, unable to stop. 

“And anyway,” you finish, cheeks painful from smiling so hard, “that’s why romantic love is a joke and I am drowning myself in platonic love forever.”

Ted and Beard share a look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Beard says. 

You shoot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Well sweetheart,” Ted says, “between the two of us collectively,” here points between him and Beard, “we know of at least three of the boys on the team who are madly in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp, “How did you- where did you- who??”

Ted zips his lips and Beard tips a finger to him. “We know of five if we count Rebecca’s intel.”

You’re sitting cross-legged on the edge of Beard’s desk, in shock. “Rebecca knows about this??”

Ted and Beard shrug in unison. “We all have our opinions on which one should shoot their shot, but that’s neither here nor there,” Ted says. 

“Coincidentally, it’s the one thing we unanimously agree on,” Beard nods. 

You’re cut off from saying anything by the door opening. One of the players stands in the doorway. 

“Excuse me, coach,” he says, accent thick. 

Ted motions in a you have the floor type of way, and the footballer turns to address you of all people. “We’re all goin’ out tonight, and Keeley sent me to invite the new girl. None of the lads have really met you yet, just seen you ‘round. Thought it might be good for team bonding, or something. I’m Jamie, by the way.”

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. “I guess- yeah, I guess I haven’t really met them. I mean, I see you guys around and stuff and I’m at your games, but I don’t really know you. Are you sure you want me to come?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach is always on us about bein’ a team or some shit. And, havin’ a girl around makes the lads look good.”

You think that makes sense, and then find yourself agreeing to go out that night with a group of footballers you don’t know, and (thank god) Keeley Jones. 

You’re going to figure out which five before the summer’s over. 

—

You have nice time out with the lads. They go to a bar and cram into separate booths. You’re wedged in between two who have introduced themselves as Isaac and Dani, and across from Sam, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas. Roy, Richard, and a few others you don’t know are milling about, and you see Jamie and Keeley at a table, surrounding by giggling girls. The sight is so absurd that you catch yourself smiling and turning back to whatever conspiracy Bumbercatch is telling you about now. 

—

You put Sam at the top of your list as soon as you get home. The man wears his heart on his sleeve, or maybe in his eyes, but you’re positive that he’s one of the five Ted and Beard referred to. One down, four to go. 

— 

It’s the end of July, and you begin to become friends with the team. You know for an absolute fact who is not interested in you, Jamie being one of them. Coincidentally, he’s the one you become closest to. You think it’s because you’re not worrying about sending mixed signals or leading him on. You dropped public hints about not really looking for anything romantic, just to be sure you wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

As it is, Jan Maas and Dani have made the list. Jan Maas, because he stifled his Dutch bluntness for you and Dani, because he openly declared he was madly in love with you in front of the whole team. 

—

Isaac makes the list in December. It had been in between him and Bumbercatch, but Isaac was the one who walked you to your car every night and the first one to say hello to you every morning. 

You’re not gonna lie, it was cute. 

You shared some of this with Ted and Beard, who remained impressively stone-faced. Rebecca proved to be equally impervious.

You shared all of it with your lunch-buddy-turned-work-bestie, Jamie. 

You ate with him because Rebecca was constantly in lunch meetings these days, and Ted, Beard, and Roy were always revamping their football strategies.

Jamie would plop down at your table and say, “What’s the news, Amy Hughes?” in his perfect Mancunian accent, and then listen/add commentary to whatever you had to say. 

You explained to him that the reason you wanted to know who liked you was so that you could be extra careful with their hearts. You knew what it was like to be led on, and you did NOT want to do that to someone else. 

Jamie nodded thoughtfully at that and then said, “We’re all footballers though, ain’t we? We get the shit end of the stick all the time, hearts broke by models and whatever. Even ends up in the fucking press. Everyone here’s has their heart broken before, and we all know you aren’t doing it on purpose.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “I’m pretty sure it’s short end of the stick, Jamie.”

And thus begins your lunch hour of bickering. 

—

No one has made a move on you yet, and you don’t have a read on number five. You still think it may be Bumbercatch, but in reality, it slips from your mind. Sam’s moved on, Jan Maas has accepted defeat, Dani swears he will love you until the day he dies, and Isaac stays, well, Isaac. Still sweet. Still walking you to your car, coming round extra early in the morning with a coffee or a water, depending on which “looked less like shit.”

Really though, you don’t think about it until February first, when you walk into your office to a small box on your desk. 

At first, you think it’s a box of Ted’s biscuits. 

Then, you notice a small, scarlet-red rose taped to the top. There’s no note, and all that’s inside is a tiny paper heart. 

It’s folded with extreme care, and you place it on your shelf, smelling the rose. It smells amazing and you make a mental note to figure out where the heck it came from. But for now, it’s time to work. 

—

You don’t mention the gifts until February third, because now there’s been one a day. Each one with a scarlet red rose, and a different gift. Yesterday was an incredibly expensive bar of chocolate (it was life-changing) and today is a tiny gold bracelet.

It’s a simple enough chain, but it is absolutely breathtaking. There is no mistaking the fact that it is not cheap, so you take it and march straight to Rebecca’s office.  

“Rebecca,” you say, hands outstretched, “look.”

She does, smiles, then says, “It appears you have a secret admirer.”

“But I don’t want that!” you cry. “I don’t even have time for that! I don’t even like anybody right now!”

She peers at you over her glasses. “Don’t you?”

The sheer weight of those words is enough to physically knock you back two steps. 

You don’t, you swear you don’t, you’re absolutely sure. 

What about Vienna? a voice in the very back of your head nags.

You reply, out loud, “We don’t talk about Vienna,” and Rebecca just shrugs. 

“Have it your way,” she replies in a tone that means this conversation is over, but you’re the one ending it.

You turn on your heel and find yourself taking the route to Ted and Beard. 

You burst into their office in such a flurry that the entire room turns to look at you. “Close the door,” you say with such urgency, that Trent hurries to comply. Beard even shuts the blinds. 

“What’s on your mind, Ollie Cline?” Ted asks. 

“Wait,” you say, holding up a hand. You point to Roy. “Do you want to be here? It involves feelings.”

“Fuck no,” says Roy, “thanks for being fucking considerate.” He follows it up with a pointed glare at Ted, then goes into his office and firmly shuts the door. 

“Can he be here?” Ted asks, tilting his head toward Trent. 

“I don’t care, he’s probably a good one to have around for this because look!” You present the three collected roses and the bracelet. 

“Someone’s started leaving me gifts, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Valentine’s thing because of the roses, and it was fine for the first two days but this is expensive, and I can’t accept this!”

Ted and Beard share a look. You hate it when they do that and leave you out. 

Ted sighs. “Listen, do you think this about Vienna?”

You fix him with a glare. “No. We are not talking about Vienna ever again.”

Trent pipes up, “What’s Vienna?” and you wheel around on him, taking your glare with you. 

“Vienna," you spit, like it’s poisonous, “is a terrible, awful place where people think terrible, awful things. I never want to talk about it again and I never will.”

Trent nods. “Noted.” 

You turn back to Ted and Beard, pleadingly. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

Beard gets up and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Kid, if you want my advice, take the damn roses and wear the damn bracelet. These boys make more money than they know how to spend, so just let it go. They all know how you feel about dating, so if someone’s shooting their shot, they know the stakes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let it go.” 

—

You decide to tell Jamie on day five, because it’s a Friday and you’re dying to get his take. You tell him everything, show him the roses in your office (hanging upside down to dry), and then hand him the notebook that was in today’s box. 

“Jamie,” you say, “this is an expensive notebook. There was a typed note inside that said, ‘for your drawings.’ How did this person even know I like drawing? I never talk about it!”

Jamie looks at you and laughs a little. You’re very flustered for something most people would enjoy. “Dunno, love, but we’ve all seen the sticky notes you leave Coach. That might be it.”

You groan and flop down into your chair. 

“At least tomorrow’s the weekend,” you say.

—

Jamie’s phone dings at 9:00am on Saturday with a text from you that says, what the actual heck and a picture of a brown bag at your doorstep. Inside is a plastic box of your favorite lemon muffin from a local bakery. He emphasized the image, then waits for your response. 

It was still warm, you write. It was someone who knows where I live and knows what time I leave to get breakfast.

Jamie grins and sends you a shrugging emoji, and you respond with an eye roll and a you’re no fun.

Jamie reads that and privately disagrees. He thinks he’s lots of fun

—

You’re pretty sure it’s Isaac. After all, he’s the only likely candidate. He’s one of the few who knows where you live and knows your routine. Not in a creepy way, in a we’re-good-friends type of way. You bring this up to Jamie, after personally banning all talk of this with Ted, Beard, and Rebecca. Stupid Vienna. You should never have told them. 

Jamie shrugs for the millionth, infuriating time. He’s been noncommittal this whole time. You’re over here pouring out your heart and soul, considering whether you like Isaac romantically or not, and all he can say is, “I dunno?” 

This is not the Jamie Tartt you’ve become best friends with. 

That Jamie would be down to hunt this secret admirer with you. That Jamie would be helping you figure out if Isaac had a chance with you. That Jamie would be way more engaged than the one sitting in front of you right now. 

But, you suppose maybe that Jamie died in Vienna, so you stop bringing it up.

—

It’s day ten. Valentine’s Day is in four day, and you’re nervous. 

You’ve decided you don’t like Isaac like that, mainly because it shouldn’t take you that long to decide if you like anyone. There has to be an initial spark, and you shouldn’t try to manufacture it. 

Still, you’re not sure it is Isaac, so you’re not going to say anything about it. The scarlet red roses hang on your office wall, permeating the room with their scent. 

You feel like you’re dying. 

This is a cruel joke and you’re dying. 

The building is basically empty right now. Rebecca and Higgins have some meeting, the team is on the pitch (including Will) and various other staff are somewhere far away from you. So, you jump a little when Trent Crimm comes tripping into your office. 

“Vienna,” he says, no greeting. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you wouldn’t have told anyone. I’m assuming you do want to talk about it, but you don’t want judgement from the people you love. I’m here to offer my services as a neutral party.”

You look at him. “Trent. You are a journalist. Your whole job is writing down people’s secrets. Why on earth would I talk to you about the worst day of my life?”

Trent shrugs. “I’m good at keeping secrets. This would be off the record. I’ve never lied to people about off the record, also. I consider it bad journalism.”

You consider this for a moment, then sigh. 

“Alright,” you concede. “At least if this gets out, I know whose head I’m shaving in retaliation.”

Trent looks at you in surprise, seeing you in a whole new, slightly threatening light.

“It happened two months ago. It was around Christmas, and I didn’t have anywhere to go…”

—

Your family all had their own separate plans that Christmas. Plans that didn’t really involve you. Same with your friends. You said something casually to Rebecca, and the next day she told you she had booked you a trip to Vienna. Call it an early Christmas present, she said. It was at the Aumaris Vienna, and it was gorgeous and ridiculously out of your budget, but she said you worked hard and gave her peace-of-mind, and you can’t really put a price on that, can you?

So you went. 

But here’s the thing. 

Someone else didn’t have Christmas plans. 

So when you brought up your trip at your daily lunch, said someone else casually asked, can I come? 

You almost choked on your sandwich. 

Because here’s the other thing.

You were, maybe, kind of, possibly just a little bit head over heels in love with this someone else.

You’re not sure when it happened, really, just that it was probably in August and that it was soul-crushing because you knew for an absolute fact that he did not, and never would, feel the same way. 

You didn’t tell anyone except Keeley, but under the condition that she just let you say it and that she never, ever give you a response to it. Just listen. 

She did, but you were pretty sure she almost combusted. 

But who are you to say no when Jamie Tartt invited himself on your luxurious Christmas vacation saying, I’ll pay extra to get a plane ticket next to you? 

You were doomed from the start. 

To make matters totally and impossibly worse, he couldn’t find another room. 

He had his tickets, but the hotels, he said, were packed. 

It was Christmas, after all. 

So that’s how you ended up in a luxury hotel with Jamie Tartt for a week and a half, one day of which was Christmas. 

You know the, “there was only one bed” trope that everyone thinks is so cute?

It was that, but only if you add deep, shattering heartbreak to it. 

Because every night, you had to listen to Jamie say, “goodnight, love,” and then get into that giant, soft bed as far away from him as you could manage. 

Every morning you woke up to the pillow barricade long gone, one of his arms thrown around you. Or one of your legs on top of his. Or a million different scenarios where you end up literally asleep together, some weird gravity pulling you to each other. 

You were falling so hard and so fast, that you felt like the air was knocked from your lungs when Jamie started talking about the girl he liked. 

“She’s just so fucking beautiful,” he’d say, staring at an Alpine mountain. Or, “Swear she’s the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met,” while traipsing through the city. Or, “Pretty sure she’s ruined me for everyone else,” while getting facials at the hotel spa. 

To be fair, you were the one who teased him into admitting he liked someone. 

You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. 

The entire trip felt like heaven and hell had simultaneously converged on you, and you never wanted to leave but also desperately counted the days till it was over. 

You came back and broke down in Rebecca’s office. Ted and Beard were there. The whole thing came spilling out, about how you loved the trip so much it felt like your heart would explode but that Jamie loved someone else. 

They all exchanged looks amongst themselves and did their best to comfort you. 

You pulled yourself together and they promised never to say anything to anyone. 

—

“So that’s Vienna,” you finish. 

Trent is just staring at you, mouth slightly agape. 

He finally says, “My god, that’s fucked,” with such emotion that you decide right then and there that you like Trent Crimm and his rainbow mug. 

Now, you just shrug. “I did it to myself, honestly. That’s why I’m tripping out about this secret admirer thing. And god, Trent, the roses. They’re so beautiful and it’s so romantic, and whoever it is obviously knows me well so there’s a part of me that wants to like this person, but…” you trail off. 

“But there’s a part of you that’s hoping against hope that Jamie’s behind it all,” Trent finishes. 

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Trent looks at the roses, then at you. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie,” he says, gently. 

You reply with a forceful, “No,” and then follow up with a small, “That’s what Ted and Rebecca say, too.” 

Trent stands up, shrugs, says with a small smile, “Just a thought,” then he’s out the way he came. 

—

It is Valentine’s Day. And it’s a Sunday, which means you are legally required to stay in bed until 10, at which point you will get out only to make yourself decent enough to go buy a good cup of coffee and maybe (definitely) something to eat. 

You’ve just finished putting on your shoes, when there’s a knock at the door. 

You take a breath, and get ready to let down your secret admirer as gently as possible. 

You swing open the door to reveal- 

“Jamie! What are you doing here?”

Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep, hands behind his back, looking shyer than the day you first met. 

He opens his mouth and says the last thing you’d ever expect:

“D’you remember Vienna?”

Your heart, which had already been going fast because his dumb floppy hair was all dumb and floppy in his stupid, cute headband, is now working double time. You manage a nod. 

Jamie takes this as permission to continue. “D’you remember how I couldn’t get another room, no matter how hard I tried? That wasn’t true. I could’ve.” He pauses, and you wait for him to continue. 

“And d’you remember when we met, when I told you Keeley told me to invite you out? That was a lie too.”

You tilt your head, confused. He keeps going. 

“Look- I fucked it. I fucked it a million times and I told Ted and I told Beard, but they kept helping me un-fuck it and giving me chances, and then Rebecca bought two tickets to Vienna and slipped me the other one, and they all told me I had a perfect shot.” 

You’re still not understanding what he’s saying. He might as well be speaking another language. Jamie sees the confusion in your eyes, takes a breath, and tries again. 

“Keeley told me to invite you out, but only because I’d seen you around and thought you were fit. Then Isaac and all the lads thought the same thing, so I didn’t even get to fuckin’ sit with you. And then you started sayin’ things about not bein’ ready for a relationship, so I tried to let it go. I really fucking tried. But I just couldn’t. Your eyes are too sparkly and your laugh is too fucking cute and I couldn’t let it go, so I started eating lunch with you and you fucking let me. I knew the moment I said anything about liking you, it was over.”

Comprehension has started to dawn, but you push down hope until Jamie’s done speaking. 

“Everyone told me to shoot my shot in Vienna. We shared a bed, for fuck’s sake.” Here, Jamie looks bewildered. “But I dunno, I didn’t want to make shit weird. So when you asked if I liked anyone I said yeah, and started fuckin describing you, but you never fucking picked up on it. That’s when I got the idea to try one more time. All by meself, no help from anyone else. So…yeah.”

Jamie Tartt is standing on your porch confessing his love for you on Valentine’s Day and it is not a dream, because if it were your teeth would be falling out and his hair would probably be neon pink. 

“I’m an idiot,” you breathe. “You like me? Like, like-like me?”

Jamie quirks a smile at that. “Not quite, darling. Pretty fucking sure I love you.” He pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a bunch of scarlet red roses. The same from each gift. 

“Got these for you,” he says. “D’you know how hard it is to get red roses in February?”

You don’t answer him because you’re leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve thought about doing every day for what feels like forever. He’s kissing you back, hand with the flowers pressed against your back, other hand in your hair. 

“I love you too, Jamie,” you whisper against his mouth. He smiles and pulls you in again. 

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! I'm new to the Peaky fandom and am in need of some Tommy fics because he's my favourite character! If your requests are open, (if not, there's no rush!) may I pretty please have a drabble or imagine -- whatever is easier -- with this gif?

*A little spice is okay, just nothing explicit. Also, my pronouns are she/her, but a gender neutral story is totally okay, too! :)

Thank you in advance!

Hello Jessyca! 🥰 Thank you so much for sending this gif!! I decided to make it part of Adele challenge using one of my favorite songs! (Lyrics in italics) 🔥🥰 edit and welcome to the fandom!! 🥰 I forgot to reply this sorry! I hope so far you’ve found incredible stories and lovely mutuals around (I’m always reblogging stories I really enjoy reading 💖)

🔥🔥🔥although the gif is extra hot, you’ll find nothing but fluffiness in this little story…

Women like me

By the corner of your eye, you found Mr. Shelby trying to catch his breath. Resting on his back against the pillows, he was looking at the ceiling completely lost in his own thoughts, his thumb rubbing absently between his brows.

You're driving me away, give me a reason to stay

I want to be lost in you, but not in this way

Don't think you quite understand who you have on your hands

How can you not see just how good for you I am?

In silence you started the same routine you knew by heart now; get up, get dressed and sneak out of his bedroom in silence, head down.

Ah, yes you were almost forgetting about his generous payment in between.

I know that you've been hurt before, that's why you feel so insecure

I begged you to let me in, 'cause I only want to be the cure

You could still feel his seed dripping down your legs, but tried to pick up your clothes scattered on the floor as gracefully as you could to get dress in the corner.

You’d been serving him for several months now, rumor has it Lizzie Stark wasn’t his mistress anymore because she got pregnant, so that was your job now; being Thomas Shelby’s whore.

Complacency is the worst trait to have, are you crazy?

You ain't never had, ain't never had a woman like me

But tonight there was something different, out of place. Mr. Shelby was still in the same position, his chest was now moving at a more normal pace. Looking at the floor, you felt embarrassed to ask for the money so you decided to pretend to fix your hair to see if he got the hint.

But he didn’t.

So after he longest seconds of your life, you decided to walk out without anything, feeling disappointed because you really needed to money to support your family. Perhaps he’d pay you double the next time, you thought to yourself but as you reached the door, his voice stopped you.

All you do is complain about decisions you make

“Y/N…” Your mouth hang open, surprised to hear him say your name.

“Is there a chance for you to stay all night?”

“I-I don’t know Mr. Shelby.” You stammered nervously, the instructions were clear; let him do whatever he wants, pick up your stuff and leave.

“You can call me Tommy… is there somewhere you need to go?”

Your eyes found his briefly, but you instantly dragged them down. “No, it’s just I’m not supposed to stay for the night.” You answered in a low voice.

“Why not?”

Feeling more embarrassed than ever, you didn’t want to point out the obvious, but as his intense blue eyes stared at you, you didn’t have another choice.

“Sir-Tommy,” you corrected yourself, “I’m just a whore.”

We come from the same place, but you will never give it up

It's where they make you feel powerful

That's why you think I make you feel small

But that's your projection, it's not my rejection

You knew that’s what you were, anyone could tell without even knowing you. But calling yourself that, hit you differently.

“Come here,” he extended his hand at you, and you didn’t have any other choice but take it and climb into bed again. “How long have you been coming here?”

“Six months.”

I put my heart on the line for the very first time

Because you asked me to, and now you've gone and changed your mind

But loving you was a breakthrough

You saw his head moving up and down slowly, but he was still oddly quiet.

He was still trying to organize the thoughts inside his mind as he saw you absently picking on your stockings. How could he put into words the way he felt about you?

“Y/N over the last couple of months, you’ve been the only one willing to spend some time with me, when everyone else finds an excuse to walk out the door, you’ve been the constant of my days, or nights for the matter.”

I saw what my heart can really do

Now some other man will get the love I have for you

'Cause you don't care, oh-oh-oh

Was he going to ask you to stop coming every night? You couldn’t speak, terrified of saying something that would piss him off. You had fallen for him secretly, blame it to the intimacy, the frequent late night calls, the way please took over him, but you did and deep down you knew it was all wrong.

“You’re not like the others, you don’t take and leave. You fill my glass with whiskey before you go or you pick up my clothes and fold them… you’ve listened to all my shit without judging me.”

Confused, you gave him a long look. “Tommy, what are you try-”

“I’ve feelings for you, Y/N.”

“That can’t be true, I’m a whore… men like you don’t fall in love with women like me.”

Consistency is the gift to give for free, and it is key

To ever keep, to ever keep a woman like me

“Women like you?” He was suddenly kneeling in bed in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks. “Who says that?”

“Everybody knows that.”

This was just a fantasy, a dream. You were worthless, the worst of the worst.

“Just so you to know, I’m not so different than you… we just sell different parts of ourselves, Y/N.”

His eyes fixed on you, his intense gaze penetrating every layer, tearing down every single wall. And as he realized your guard was coming down, he pulled you in for a kiss, breaking the only rule you set when you first walked into his bedroom; no kissing.

That first kiss felt totally different to anything you’ve experienced until now, because men usually take what they want and leave right away, but Tommy took his time to explore your lips, the way they molded to his, tentatively, switching his pace and tilting his head from time to time as if he didn’t want to leave a single spot unattended.

He broke apart allowing you to take a deep breath, your head was spinning.

“Beneath, there’s a good woman, I just know it.” His knuckles carefully caressed your chin. You wanted to believe him, but you had been used in the past you no longer knew who you were.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes, so he took your hand and placed it over his heart. “Y/N I’m not going to hurt you, I genuinely fell for you, for he woman you are, for the little things I know about you… for the way you allowed me to be myself when the door is closed.”

He had been fighting it for so long, but with you he was allowed to strip down not only from his clothes, but from the heartless cold bastard he had to be in front of everyone else.

“Will you give me the chance?”

Looking down you fought against the lump that formed in your throat. “But how will you deal with my past and all the burden I’ve?”

“I’m not going to erase it, just like you can’t delete mine,” his fingers sunk in your disheveled curls, “but we can look forward and take it from there, together.”

As a single tear slid through your cheek, his thumb came to wipe it away, right before he crashed his lips once more and you believed him with all your heart because deep down you knew he was right.

A woman like you wasn’t so different than a man like him.

***

Master list

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a while now, guess it was time to post it, and I apologize because although I absolutely adore the concept I have been feeling a bit down and I’m not sure I was able to portray what I intended to…

Like always I’m so grateful if you decide to share your thoughts x

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @gypsy-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @rangerelik @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @heidimoreton @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya (can’t tag) @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989

[rogueddie]

Fool / Go For It

Eddie is playful, teasing, with all of his friends. It's how he shows affection- with light nudges, light ribbing... it's all done in good faith.

A lot of the teasing he aims at Steve, however, have a sting to them. He cracks a lot of jokes about 'King Steve', about his old friends and his families wealth- all sore spots for Steve.

They don't feel like jokes, even though Steve knows that's all they are.

"I can't just tell him," Steve insists as he, once again, complains about Eddies teasing.

"Yes, you can," Robin says. Her voice is monotone, having repeated her arguments so many times that it's exhausting. "He's your boyfriend. He likes you. If he's upsetting you, he'll want to know."

"But you tease me like he does! All the time!"

"That's different. We're, like, soulmates."

"Rob," Steve groans, flopping his head down so his face is pressed into her bed sheets. His voice is muffled when he continues; "I don't want him to feel like he's second best."

"Steve, for Christs sake, he won't think that! And if he does, he's an idiot."

Lifting his head, he gives her his best puppy-dog eyes. "I can't risk that. I think I might be in love with him."

"That's just more reason to tell him."

He groans, dropping his head again. He always forgets how immune she is to his pleading looks.

"We're seeing him soon," she continues, ignoring his muffled complaints. "You'll tell him then, or I will. And I won't be nice about it, either."

Steve only groans in complaint.

"Come on, dingus," she teases, lightly slapping his shoulder. "You can help me pick out an outfit."

"You never take my advice," he reminds her, getting up to follow her to the closet anyway.

It's almost a routine for them, at this point; she'll pick an outfit, Steve will point out the things wrong with it and, when he makes his own suggestion, she'll point out how horrible his idea would look on her.

Both understand what the other is actually saying- Robin does end up trading the vest that she originally picked out for her black denim jacket, like Steve suggested.

"See?" Steve teases, bumping his shoulder into hers as they head out.

"It's ok, I guess," she ribs back. "You've had worse ideas."

"Ha," he deadpans.

Robin is practically giddy as she climbs in the car. She glances at him, pointedly, when he turns the music up as soon as she says Eddies name. She doesn't fight him on it though.

She knows him well enough, instinctively, to know that he needs the time to himself.

When they pull up, he flings the door open as soon as he can, so she's interrupted when-

"Steve!" Eddie yells in greeting. He jumps up, speedwalking to meet them half way. "You made it!"

"I said we would," Steve grins. The amount of affection they can show, in the schools parking lot, is limited- but Steve can't help but pull Eddie in for a hug. "I always keep my word."

"Unless it's about the pool," Eddie teases, patting his side before turning to his friends.

"Right," Steve forces a laugh.

He hadn't realized that Eddie would remember that- it was so long ago and probably the longest conversation they'd had, pre-Upside Down.

Steve hadn't thought it'd been that bad. He'd actually been trying to look out for Eddie, with how late in the night it was- he'd assumed that he'd been drinking, like everyone else, and going in the pool-

"Steve?" Robin asks, gently shaking him.

"Hm?"

"The pool?"

"Oh, long story. It's... it's an old story, too. It's nothing, really."

"Steve, if he-" Robin starts, hands jumping to her hips.

"Hey," Eddie calls. "Guys, come on, we're gonna set up!"

Steve takes the opportunity, jogging over. "How long does it take to set up?"

Eddie eagerly jumps into a long winded explination, which quickly devolves into explaining rules of the game- things Eddie has already told him, multiple times, but Steve loves how excited he gets.

They finish setting everything up by the time the kids start filtering in- and the door opening knocks Eddie out of his ramble about a certain NPC he's still figuring out.

"You understand any of that?" Grant raises an eyebrow at him.

It's softened with how gentle Eddie is when reaches out to hold his hand, just for a moment.

Mike snorts, loudly.

"Yeah, I did," Steve says.

"Of course you did," Eddie teases, ruffling his hair. "Such a clever big boy. Now!" Eddie claps his hands together, turning to the table.

"Say something," Robin hisses, leaning close.

"I'm trying to listen," Steve whispers back.

She grumbles, but sits back.

It's more fun that he thought it would be, watching the group of them play D&D. It's not as headache inducing as reading, but somehow more fascinating than simply watching a movie.

He groans, almost as loud as the kids, when Eddie announces that they're at a good point to stop for the day.

"That was great," Steve says, siddling up to the table, leaning against the throne Eddies sat on while they all pack up. "I'm starting to get you nerds are so obsessed with this shit."

"What, you wanna sit in on our next game?"

Eddie says it like it's absurd, like it's a joke, but Steve is serious when he replies; "if that's alright with you lot, I'd love to."

"Really?" Eddie leans back, fully turning to him.

Mike scoffs. "He just wants to impress you."

"It was interesting!" Steve defends.

"You probably didn't understand half of what was going on."

"I understand the story. That's, like, the most important part!"

"Of course it it," Eddie gently pats his shoulder. "And I'm sure it'd be fine with everyone here to have an audience, right?"

"Right," Jeff answers. He offers Steve a genuine, friendly, smile.

"On one condition," Robin pipes up. "No more jabs at Steve."

"We're just teasing," Dustin points out. "Steve knows that- don't you, Steve."

"Uh, yeah, I mean-"

"Steve-" Robin tries.

"You do know that we're just joking, right?" Eddie asks, worried. He steps close, hand resting on Steves hip so he can rub circles in his skin. "We don't think any less of you for not knowing D&D. It is just a game."

"Yeah, I know," Steve agrees easily. It's easy to forget why it's a problem when Eddie is being so careful, worried, and affectionate.

And he smiles so wide, almost blindingly. He kisses Steve on the cheek, despite the others complaints, and starts asking about what time is best for their next meeting.

Robin steps up beside him, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

"What?"

"You're a fool."

[nobodywritingao3]

unnamed monster & caretaker au

Tasked with feeding and caring for the king's resident monster, Tommy is constantly overworked and fully expects to die before he's twenty. He has an odd relationship with the beast and makes it a point to keep details about himself private, but it's difficult when the creature is the closest thing in the world he has to a friend.

wordcount: 2.3k 🕸 read it on AO3

CW: - hard vore mention - soft vore mention - mentioned abuse and dehumanization

‼️‼️‼️ Unfinished, unedited one shot. Proceed with caution

@gracideaviolet sent me a writing prompt and this is what i originally wrote for it. i like the concept but i wrote this at a not-good time and when i reread it, i didnt like the quality enough to fix it. if you like this story, let me know cuz that might give me motivation to properly finish this thing. feel free to take the idea but please credit and send it to me cuz i like this story and wanna see what someone else does with it

Tommy finished loading the cart and took a second to breathe.

He heard the beast shifting around in the dark. "Are you doing okay out there, Sunshine?"

Despite his tiredness, the sweet nickname made him smile.

"You know you eat a lot? It's a pain in the ass to load myself."

He meant it as a joke but silence hung in the air a second longer than it should have.

He cleared his throat. "I don't mind it. I'm compensated."

The beast snorted. "Not enough."

Tommy laughed awkwardly and didn't say anything.

He walked over to the control panel and started up the track.

The cart was big enough to fit a barn, and filled to the brim with various livestock, prisoners of war, and whoever else might have found themselves on the king's hit-list. Nothing sent to the monster was alive. It was a point the monster whined about a lot, but Tommy much preferred it that way. It was already disgusting having to spend hours upon hours piling the cart with bloody meat (sometimes human!) by himself, and the day he was handed a living person would be the day he faked his death and fled the kingdom.

He pressed a few buttons, tried not to cut himself on several rusty levers, and the rail obediently started itself up with a few revs and puffs.

The beast hummed contentedly at the noise.

The cart began to run along the track, disappearing from his view and descending into the inky black cave. He heard the gate creak open and he heard it creak close. And then he heard the beast begin to eat.

They weren't nice sounds by any stretch of the imagination - ugly rips and wet squelches of flesh - but Tommy had been at the job for a while and was long used to it. He settled in and waited for the creature to finish its meal.

"So how was your day, Keeper?"

Tommy hummed. "About the same as it always is. My master told me that the king will be coming in soon for a performance review, but I've no idea when that might be."

The beast paused its munching before hesitantly starting again a moment later. "I - why?"

He shrugged, assuming the monster could see him from the dark. "Something about me holding down this job the longest out of anyone before."

"Hm."

"I don't understand why that would intrigue the king. And no offense to you personally - "

"Uh huh," the monster sarcastically interjected -

" - but this isn't exactly the career path I'd have chosen. If I knew how to transfer I probably would have. Honestly - I have no idea how the others could have quit this job. I was under the impression that this is the sort of thing you do until you die."

It laughed at that.

Tommy sighed.

He was quiet for a few moments, a question sitting heavy on his tongue.

He shouldn't ask. It's impolite.

The monster shifted around. "Spit it out."

He gave the darkness an accusatory look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

There was a huff of laughter. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're doing that thing where you want to say something but are worried about what I'll think. It would be adorable if I wasn't desperate for decent conversation."

"Fuck you." He said it with a smile.

"Well? Are you going to say or not?"

He scrubbed at his face. Fuck it. "What were your other keepers like?"

The beast went silent for several long moments.

Shit. "You don't have to answer if you - "

"I didn't much care for them."

Tommy didn't say a word.

"The feeling was mutual." It sighed heavily. "You're a much better replacement, Sunshine."

"I'm sorry for asking."

The beast purred. "Don't be, dear. I pressed you. And I don't mind answering." It jostled the cart. "And I'm done eating."

Tommy nodded and powered up the control panel again. The cart began to recede. 

It appeared from the darkness, picked completely clean and shiny as if it never been covered in blood at all.

It scared him a little, how quickly the monster could eat such a large amount, but he dismissed those thoughts as easily as they came. When would that ever affect him?

He checked the clock. He still had a few hours before he had to report back. "Do you mind if I stay with you longer?"

The monster laughed conspiratorially. "Oh, but that's against the rules," it said in a high mockery of his voice.

He flushed.

He had been terrified of the monster when they first met. He gave any excuse to leave the beast as soon as he could, including that the rules specified that spending unnecessary time with it was prohibited. That was true, but no one would have known if he chose to linger. In hindsight, it had been terribly obvious how afraid he was and he's only embarrassed that the monster pretended to believe him.

"You're the worst."

"And you still want to spend time with me?"

Tommy blew a raspberry at the darkness, earning a few laughs.

It was comfortably quiet for a few seconds before the monster spoke again. "Why are you curious about my old keepers?"

He tugged at his fingers. "Do you know how I ended up here?"

"You never talk about it."

He frowned. "And I never will," he responded coldly. It never gave up asking. "But do you know, generally, how someone ends up working this kind of job?"

The monster was quiet. "Yes."

Tommy didn't say anything for a minute. "The king is very angry with me. I don't want to see him again. However the other keepers escaped..." He shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. If the king requests an audience with me, it isn't for any good reason."

~

When the king acquired his monster, he hired out help to feed the thing and keep it under control. He made sure the beast ate lavishly, but now matter what they fed it, it never seemed like to satiate the creature. But it hadn't died of starvation and that was good enough. When its caretakers started to disappear, it wasn't difficult to guess what happened.

But acknowledging the problem would mean addressing it too, and the king simply didn't care. In the end, he realized he had the perfect way to quietly do away with those he needed gone. He sourced this job, with its one hundred percent rate of 'job abandonment' to political adversaries or people growing affluent enough to take his throne.

Which takes him to the present day, and a rather interesting problem.

When some servant boy had spilled a bottle of red wine down his front during a gala several years prior, the king had been so angry that he threw the child in a dungeon and left him there. When the monster's then-keeper inevitably disappeared, the king came to the boy and grimly informed him of his punishment.

He hadn't expected the child to last more than a couple of days. He'd even picked out his replacements.

But lo and behold, the boy remained present at his job post for a week. And then that week became several, and those several became months, and those months became a year and a half.

The king couldn't understand why it hadn't eaten him yet. He was fifteen at this point, certainly the youngest to feed the monster. Was it waiting for him to grow up? Did it want to watch him sprout up before it made its attack? It was perfectly sentient, and the king knew this even though he denied it upfront. Shouldn't the monster trust that the sooner it finished its current keeper, the sooner he would be replaced by another?

Had there been someone who had managed to bring this creature to subservience? If so, then the king took special interest.

And if not, then it was long overdue that the servant boy be put to death.

~

Being a human's lapdog wasn't a dignified experience, but it was a fed one. Driders were megafauna, making it hard to get enough food. It certainly didn't help that the human kingdom believed everything was its rightful property and saw driders as a threat to them owning more than they could eat.

Wilbur certainly didn't enjoy his life, and he was almost always hungry anyway, but at least he was alive.

He lived in a dungeon below the castle, but he wasn't sure what a castle was and he barely understood the concept of a dungeon. He hadn't seen the sunshine in years, and his keeper was his only company.

He liked his keeper. The boy was kind. He didn't threaten to pee in Wilbur's food or throw rocks at him. He asked him how his day was, and even made it a point to handle the meat carefully as he transported it into the cart. He seemed lonely, and made up excuses to stay. He was a cute little thing, and Wilbur wanted to stick him into his brooding pouch and keep him there.

~

The cart rolled into Wilbur's enclosure, and he greedily snatched it up and began to eat.

His keeper sat at a table in the light.

Wilbur finished his food in a few seconds and toyed with the cart. He always made it seem as if it took him longer to eat than it did.

"Do you have a family?"

The boy froze at the question. "Why do you ask?"

Wilbur pouted even though he knew he couldn't be seen. "We've known each for so long. I don't even know what your name is. Can't I know just a little?"

His keeper awkwardly laughed, fidgeting with his fingers. "Oh... I guess you're right."

Wilbur's heart leapt.

"I don't have a family."

"Oh." Shit.

"Yeah."

What was he supposed to say?

"I don't have a family either."

His keeper peered into the darkness. "What are you?"

Wilbur smiled. He skittered to the bars of his cage and leaned against them, towering over the boy, though he had no idea. "Would you like to play twenty questions?"

"You're so lame, seriously, what are you? I don't even know what you look like."

I could show you, he wanted to say.

Coming out of his cage was easy. The king assumed it could hold him but no one actually checked. And aside from his keeper, no one had been in his dungeon for years. In reality, the bars had long been bent open and Wilbur could get out whenever he pleased.

It wouldn't be difficult to come through the bars and present himself to his keeper. Pick the little figure up in his hands and take him into his cage with him.

When he'd eaten his previous keepers, they'd always been replaced. If he captured his current keeper and stored him away in his brooding pouch, then he'd never be lonely again.

It was tempting.

"That's probably for the best," he said. He stepped away from the bars of his cage and curled up on the floor.

He liked his keeper. He wanted him to be happy. Just because Wilbur was stuck in a cage didn't mean he had to be as well.

"Do you think I'd be scared of you?"

Wilbur looked down at himself, at his large stature and eight legs. His fangs came down to his mid chin. "I think you'd be terrified, dear."

His keeper smiled. "I don't think so. I have a suspicion that you're just harmless."

His heart melted. Oh stars, he wanted to eat this kid.

He massaged his aching brood pouch. "You're sweet, Sunshine."

~

The cart was left in his cage while he was sleeping. He woke up confused, spying it in the corner of his enclosure and wondered why he'd been fed overnight. Where was his keeper? His mind jumped to the worst conclusions.

He found him inside the cart. Bound and gagged and looking terrified beyond all reason.

"Oh, Sunshine," he murmured.

His words had the opposite intended effect, his keeper starting to panic and writhe at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, hey... Calm down, okay? I'll get you out of there." He reached into the cart and picked him up in his hand.

Despite the circumstance, his heart soared. This was the closest they'd ever been.

The figure was tiny in his palm, and still struggling.

Wilbur quickly undid his bounds, being mindful of his sharp claws against the human's body. As soon as his hands were free, he was clawing at the gag around his mouth.

"Don't eat me! Please, do not eat me..."

Wilbur's stomach dropped.

"What? Sunshine, why would I eat you?"

The boy continued to sob.

Wilbur cupped him to his chest and headed towards the bars of his enclosure. He expertly clambered through and came out the other side, his skin exposed to the light for the first time in more than a year.

"Dear? Can you talk to me?" He stroked his head with his thumb and brought him eye level. "Why were you in my feeding cart?"

His keeper stared at him in shock, and it was then that he remembered his keeper had never truly seen him before.

A hot wave of embarassment and self consciousness overtook him.

He awkwardly set his little human on his table and receded back into his enclosure.

"Sunshine?" He prompted once back in his cage. "Are you..."

"Could - could you get out the whole time?"

Wilbur's mouth went dry. "I - well, yes, I could but - "

His keeper stumbled off the table and hit the ground with a nasty sounding crack.

Wilbur sprang to his claws and scrambled forward. He popped his head out between the bars and stared down at his little keeper. "Are you okay?"

The human stared up at him with terror on his face and scrambled backwards, running for the door.

"Shit, shit, wait, I'm sorry! Please stay, please, Sunshine - "

The door slammed behind him with a resounding crack and Wilbur flinched backwards.

~ ~ ~ 🕸

i used to love drider aus back in 2020 🕷️🕷️🕷️

just a freaky little guy whose half dude and half Fear. potential off the charts.

my tag list got lost when my computer was annihilated (</3) but let me know in replies if you want to get @'d and i'll make a new one

oh yeah link to the writing prompt and story i did fill out

[scarletwinterxx]

sometimes you just don't know the answer - jaehyun imagine

all the jaehyun content on my twt tl made me write this, my feels for yoon oh coming back stronger than ever😂

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee (totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Hey, I'm going now"

You tell your boyfriend while standing by the doorway of his office. Jaehyun looked over at you for a second before turning his attention back to his work.

Ever since that night, your anniversary, he's been feeling a bit distant. How was he suppose to act when the love of his life, his long time girlfriend, the only woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life didn't give him an answer when he asked the ultimate question.

'Will you marry me?'

Those words still hanging in the air. Like an elephant in the room being ignored by the both of you.

"I'll be gone for five days, I cooked dinner already so you can just heat it up when you get hungry. Also I fed Bom already" you tell him, at the mention of her name the little puff of cloud picks her head up from the seat in the corner of the room before running over to you.

"Mommy will go now okay, I'll miss you" crouching down to pet her and give her a few more cuddles before going. Jaehyun glances over at you, his heart warming at the sight but he had to stay strong.

He doesn't understand why you didn't say yes, didn't you love him enough to marry him? did he do something wrong? was there someone else? Shaking those thoughts away he watches you give Bom a few more kisses before standing up, catching his gaze before he turns to his desk again

"Jae I..."

"I'll see you later" he says, finishing the conversation before it even started. You didn't push it any further, giving him the time and space he needed.

Then you went.

The first day you were gone, he didn't mind it much. You've gone to business trips before and so does he. The longest time you've been apart was 2 weeks when he had to attend a family trip when you couldn't come with him because of work. But never under this circumstances. Usually the two of you would text or call during free time but this time the only text he got was when you arrived at your hotel. It's been radio silence ever since.

He thought this alone time will do him good to clear his mind, but by the second day he missed you so much he's sure he was about to lose his mind. By the third day he almost bought a plane to where you were just so he could see you.

On the fourth day, he made himself busy. You texted him last night saying you've been busy with work you didn't have time to do anything else. He told you to eat dinner and a goodnight, the end. At this point he just wanted to have you back home. He doesn't even care anymore if you didn't want to marry him. He's never been this far from you, especially during a fight.

To distract himself, he cleaned around the apartment, did laundry, took Bom out for a walk and even went to the gym but still his mind was on you.

Stepping out of the shower, he got dressed. As he was putting on his shirt, he spots the red velvet box in his drawer. A reminder of what was supposed to be the sweetest night, but instead it now leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

He pops the box open only to find it empty, thinking to himself if he lost it that night. Did he put it somewhere else?

Now he's frantically looking around the room, too busy to hear the front door open. Wheeling in your suitcase, you were welcomed by Bom running towards you

"Hey baby, did you miss me? I missed you too yes I did" you give her hugs and kisses, noticing Jaehyun wasn't in the kitchen or the living room.

Walking inside the house, you find him inside the bedroom

"What are you doing?"

Jaehyun jumps, surprised to hear another voice. He thought he went completely mad and now he's hearing your voice but then he turns around to see you by the door with your dog in your arms and a shiny ring on your finger.

He blinks once, twice. Even pinching himself on the arm to wake himself up, making sure he's not dreaming.

"Are you okay?" you ask him, putting Bom down before walking towards him. Jaehyun just looks at you, shaking his head before speaking

"You're home"

"Yea, I finished late last night. I chose the earliest flight back since I have nothing on my itinerary anymore. Is everything okay here? Are you looking for something?" you ask him, his gaze landing on your hand.

Noticing this, you follow his gaze. Remembering the ring you took before you went on your business trip.

"Oh I... I was going to..."

"Is that..." "Yea"

He's so confused, does this mean you say yes? but you never said anything, that night when he asked you you just stared at him. Too stunned to give him a simple yes or no

"This is not how I pictured it, I swear. I don't even know what I was thinking. But before I left, I saw the box then the next second I was wearing the ring. I was going to tell you, but you weren't talking to me"

"Well you did reject my proposal so yes I wasn't really in a talking mood"

"and I'm sorry, I wanted to say yes. My answer is still yes, I was just surprised that night I didn't know what to say okay. For years we've talked about it, so many nights I've dreamed about our future. And suddenly you were there, asking me, it was everything I've ever dreamed about and I got scared because what if I didn't deserve that. What if one day you find out I wasn't the one for you what if-"

"Marry me" Jaehyun cuts you off

"Huh?" at this point tears were already running down your face, but to Jaehyun you've never looked more beautiful.

"Marry me. Let's make those dream in reality, let's wake up together everyday, let's take walks with Bom every morning, cook dinner in your kitchen in the evening, make love at night. You deserve the world and more, and I promise you I'll work hard every day to be the man who deserves you. I want you, I've wanted you all these years, I'll want you for all my years. Marry me"

You didn't even say anything, you just ran straight into his arms. Jaehyun catching you, hugging you like his life depended on it.

"Is that a yes?" he mumbles, hearing a giggle from you before breaking away from his embrace

"Yes yes yes a million times yes" you tell him in between kisses, you kiss his cheeks his chin his nose his lips. Jaehyun smiles as he hears those words from you, picking you up to spin you around.

"So this means I don't have to give the ring back, right?" you ask him. He smiles down at you before going in for another sweet kiss, "That was only ever yours anyways"

[beanghostprincess]

What’s so fascinating about shuggy that makes you go this wild? Aren’t shanks completely over this guy? And buggy just bitter? Am I interpreting it wrong?

I'm not gonna ask whether you want the short or the long version, because I'm gonna give you the longest, gayest version no matter what you tell me. So. Yeah. I think I'm kind of crazy about them but in a very normal way (I just lied on the internet). I'm gonna answer your last three questions before actually getting into the subject of why Shuggy makes me go so wild:

(Spoilers: manga ch.1082 and that Wano flashback)

Shanks being "completely over this guy" would be a very simple way to put his feelings for Buggy into words, I think. Although the fandom exaggerates the way he feels for him (turning into obsession and just complete depression) for fun or for angst purposes (I must say I don't really dislike it and I do believe Shanks still holds Buggy close to his heart in this way, and if we talk in a shippy way, he's definitely the clingy one) I think Shanks isn't completely over Buggy. At least not in the cynical way some people say. I think that after parting ways, Shanks accepted Buggy leaving him. I don't think he quite understands his reasons (he never will, tbh) but accepted his decision. I think he tried to choose the more mature way (not that he had other options) and moved on. But moving on doesn't mean forgetting or being completely over someone, because I wholeheartedly think that even if Buggy isn't on his mind 24/7, he's still one of the most important people in Shanks' life and story. Buggy is there in the back of his mind like a catchy song you can't get rid of, you know? It itches sometimes, too, but Shanks can't do anything about it so he just lives with it. To Shanks, he would gladly reconnect with Buggy and go back to the way they were in the blink of an eye, but he knows it can't be. I think Shanks has moved on but the second somebody mentions Buggy he goes into nostalgia mode and thinks about their times together back when they were just kids with endless dreams aboard the Oro Jackson. I think Shanks has more things to worry about than his past to be the way the fandom portrays him, but that doesn't mean he has completely forgotten about it and doesn't want Buggy back. Because he definitely does.

Buggy is- He isn't just bitter. I don't think you can say Buggy is just bitter when Shanks' decision was what determined his whole life. Leaving the thing about the map and the devil fruit aside (which also affects the story but we know his resentment isn't really about that) Buggy has every right to feel the way he does towards Shanks. Perhaps it's just that I find this pathetic clown to be very relatable, but I will always be both a Buggy apologist and defender. I'll probably get into a more detailed version of this later, but Buggy isn't just bitter. Buggy is rightfully frustrated at how his life ended up to be without Shanks. "But he's the one who left Shanks"... Is he, though? He did leave Shanks physically, but Shanks was the first to break the relationship. The thing about Buggy that I absolutely love is how his character portrays envy and jealousy into a... I wouldn't say healthy way, but at least not a damaging way to Shanks. Despite fighting all the time, they obviously loved and cared for each other. Being best friends and the youngest of the crew, always together in both the worst and best of their moments, etc. So Buggy, even though he lived as Shanks' shadow, that isn't why he's resentful towards him. He could be angry about that, right? Just bitter Roger chose him to keep his legacy alive instead of him. But no. Buggy chose to follow Shanks instead because he trusted him. Because he thought "Well, I might not be able to follow my dream, but Shanks will do it for us as our captain's legacy". Which makes sense because they were so damn close. They're always together. Like. Just watch/read the Oden flashback. Their presentation was even together, lmfao. And when they talk about them, they mention them together. The whole thing about Shanks not going to Laugh Tale to take care of Buggy? It's just- It's just so obvious that they were best friends and intended to be together forever. Buggy was willing to follow Shanks until the end of the world until Shanks hesitated when asked about following Roger's steps (Buggy doesn't actually say he'll be in Shanks' crew, but the way he reacts to Shanks' words makes me think he would've accepted to go with him as a co-captain until... Well. Yeah. That happened). And like, I get it. Shanks knew they were too young. Shanks knew they needed to grow up and live more experiences as pirates before going to Laugh Tale and for the One Piece. For Shanks it's just a little pause before they actually fulfill their dreams. But for Buggy? For Buggy, his whole world is crumbling down because the person he trusted the most literally told him he wasn't going to follow their dream. For Buggy, Shanks doesn't take the role of Roger's legacy seriously enough, so it's unfair. It's unfair that he had to leave his dream behind for him. It's unfair that he trusted him. It's unfair that Shanks didn't believe in himself. It's unfair that their captain died. It's unfair that now Buggy has to be completely on his own, with no ability to swim and no map to follow because Shanks also ruined that for him. So, yeah, Buggy is a bit more than just bitter, and rightfully so. It's classic miscommunication because obviously, Shanks wasn't going to give up on going to Laugh Tale, but Buggy takes it that way. And he also sees it as Shanks doubting himself and the dream and it's unfair that the one who got the straw hat is the one to hesitate, and the one who didn't get anything is the one who wants to fight for their dream. Buggy is more than just bitter. I know it's played for laughs, but his grudge towards Shanks is deeper than that.

You are not interpreting it wrong, tbh. I think the fandom just exaggerates their behavior and in canon you pretty much have to analyze the characters to fully understand them. If you're not a fan of these two characters, their whole relationship can feel like "Oh, they were just friends in the same crew" even when it's way deeper than that. Although I think chapter 1082 (my favorite chapter ngl I've read it so many times google instantly shows it to me when I look for the page where I read OP) explains what I just said pretty well from Buggy's POV.

So now onto the real question, what's so fascinating about Shuggy?

I'm gonna be honest with you, before writing this I have to say that I have a tendency to love these types of ships. Soukoku (BSD) and Satosugu (JJK) are no exception and they follow the same "former BFFs/partners who turned into enemies and are very very gay". The reason I like these three ships so much is probably because of personal experiences I'm not gonna talk about, but somebody mentioned something very interesting about lesbians/sapphics relating to these ships because we always have this experience about having a really close girl bff that we have a crush on, but since we don't acknowledge the real feelings, it ends up in a very toxic way that leads only to resentment and nostalgia. And, you know, as a lesbian who has been through that I can confirm wholeheartedly that this is why Shuggy is so important to me (considering Shuggy a ship for the lesbians in my heart </3)

Leaving that aside and the fact that childhood best friends to lovers is like my favorite trope, I just think their characters are so perfectly written. And it's surprising because they barely have scenes talking about each other or being with each other (Marineford is Shuggys' Roman Empire atp, although I will always remember that first flashback in episode 8 in the anime. That changed my life fr). But their story is made with so much care and love for the characters (it's obvious Oda likes Buggy a lot) that you can feel it. At least I do. Because although not having many scenes they've completely taken over my heart and soul.

Shanks is a very complicated character due to lack of information and the fact that we know he hides something deeper, but he is, after all, a symbol of hope and dreams. At least for our main character. Shanks is the main reason why Luffy becomes a pirate and there are so many parallelisms between them that I can't count them. I find it so ironic that the symbol of hope and freedom Luffy follows is actually somebody who crushed somebody's dreams and hopes. Talk about irony, right? And then we have Buggy, who's the complete opposite. With Buggy's first appearance (and honestly all of his scenes until the Wano flashback and chapter 1082) we think he's one of the bad guys. And yeah, all of them are like that because they're pirates and yadda yadda. But I'm talking about "bad guy" as in "bad bad person with no hopes and dreams and that is just interested in being feared and powerful". And he is a failguy. A very funny one, too. But he's so much more. And the fact that this comedic relief character that's always played for laughs when it comes to his own misery turns out to be the one who has the biggest of dreams and the biggest of heartbreaks about it? It just shatters my heart.

Shuggy makes me go wild because of Buggy, mostly, ngl. I wouldn't like Shanks this much if it wasn't for Shuggy, probably (I love him a ton outside of his relationship with Buggy, but you know, it makes things a lot easier). I like Shuggy because the topics the ship touches are very emotional and angsty and they crush me completely. Buggy living in Shanks' shadow? Buggy wanting to follow Roger's steps and following Shanks instead because his self-esteem disappeared the moment his captain's legacy ended up on Shanks instead of him? The trust he had in Shanks? The way Shanks hesitates and the way Buggy refuses to follow somebody like that? Buggy running away on his own because he gave up his dream for somebody who doesn't even treat it the way it deserves? It's just heartbreaking. Especially if you have in mind that they just lost the man that raised them.

Buggy then becomes somebody that people make fun of and ridicule, and they don't even think about the possibility of him being part of the crew of the king of the pirates. And when they find out, they can't believe it. They don't talk about this much, but I think that it must hurt so fucking much to be seen this way. He was just as important as Shanks. Roger loved him too. And to this day, being Shanks' shadow still haunts him. I love the angst Shuggy has. It breaks me and I love it.

Then, (and this is something I adore) with the creation of Cross Guild, Buggy has the chance to get out of Shanks' shadow. He's surrounded by two guys who only think about money and stability and business and... It's boring, isn't it? It's not flashy! And I think he has this realization of "this is my chance to prove I'm worth something. This is my chance to actually go for my dream. Mine" because these two idiots keep talking about boring things instead of following their dreams and aspirations and bigger things! And it just shows how much Buggy truly cared about Laugh Tale and the One Piece and how much he has had to wait for it. And this has nothing to do with Shuggy, I just really love this fucking clown.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I love Shanks making Buggy lose the map and eat the devil fruit. Because, okay, in retrospect it feels very stupid because it was a simple accident. But just hear me out- Even though it was an accident, Buggy lost his ability to swim for powers he didn't want. He lost the ability of independence, because what's a pirate on his own if he can't swim? He lost his individuality that night, and we see him depend on others constantly throughout the show. And Shanks mentioning that Buggy is a great swimmer? Oh, fuck you Oda for making me cry so early in the show. Then, the map. He lost his individuality and then he lost the only thing that led him to a future with treasures and his dreams. Then again, losing his independence because he couldn't just go on his own without a map. Fucking great. The fact that Shanks jumps to rescue him the second Buggy starts to drown haunts me at night, too. They're just so-- Ugh.

But Shuggy is not everything about Buggy's resentment and angst. And it's not about Shanks missing him and wanting his best friend back because he doesn't know what happened for him to run away so easily.

It's also about unconditional love, and I am so passionate about that. Shanks care and love for Buggy is something the fandom exaggerates but... These people are not wrong, tbh. Shanks gave up his dream to go to Laugh Tale (postponed it) to stay with Buggy and take care of him because he was sick. Shanks is a very selfless person all the way, and when it comes to Buggy it seems that he doesn't hesitate to put him first (in serious situations. Their usual arguments don't count. They're just stupid, and love to argue and fight like the divorced couple they are). And besides, this happens right in the same episode after Toki gets sick and Oden wants to take care of her but she forces him to follow his dream and leave her behind. Like- What the actual fuck. Ah, yes, parallel the main couple in the Wano arc. I'm sure that's not romantic at all. The difference is that Shanks stayed. And god, does that hurt. Especially when he says they'll go on their own one day, because it shows he cared about Laugh Tale too (I mean, ofc, but from Buggy's POV it's just different).

To end this I also want to say that, leaving the whole deep analysis behind: Their personalities just match. They're funny to watch. They're cute. They have an angsty story behind them. They won't stop arguing like little kids but they care for each other still. They are chaotic. They're just... Perfect for each other.

Hope you liked my tiny essay about them because I could've kept going on and on and on about it, but some people (like me, sadly) have to wake up early tomorrow to work instead of just posting about gay fictional characters (somebody please pay me to do these things and I'll stay on tumblr 24/7).

[voxofthevoid]

Shibuya Swap Wednesday #13! Also the final one.

At over 120k, this fic is now officially my longest JJK story, and I'm two chapters away from finishing it. But I've been too fucking tired to write a word the last week, so who knows when it'll be done. Even if I don't, this will be the last WIPWed post for this story. If I don't have a new fic to post next Wednesday, I'll open another askbox game.

For now, have an entirely SFW interaction featuring Yuuji and his three ducklings (SSS) 🦆🦆🦆

“You’re distracted today, Satoru.”

“Fuck off,” Satoru says distractedly, swaying back from a swinging fist and leaping away from the leg that swipes at him. “I’m still kicking your ass.”

“You haven’t touched me once. You haven’t tried.”

That’s not true. Of course he’s trying. He wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to recreationally beat up his best friend. And these spars Yuuji favors, where cursed techniques and even cursed energy are banned to strip them down to their base human components, are his favorite these days. They took a while to grow on him, but Satoru understands now. Here, when he wins, it’s not Limitless that earns his victory, just his bare body. There’s a surprising kind of power in that.

And when Suguru wins, well, that’s what rematches are for.

But right now, there’s another bare body darting about in his periphery—a beautiful monstrosity clothed in red.

It’s wasted on Shouko. She’s holding her own, but Yuuji’s holding back. Not her fault. Yuuji’s always holding back. He’d be wasted on anyone, even Suguru.

Not Satoru though.

Another opportunistic fist rushes toward him, and some twinge of instinct draws the entirety of Satoru’s focus back toward Suguru. The burst of motion that follows is very skilled violence, made impotent only by equally skilled evasion. A different kind of fire floods Satoru’s veins at the sheer intensity on Suguru’s face.

“What’s the matter, Suguru?” Satoru purrs. “Feelin’ neglected?”

Suguru grins—more a baring of teeth. “Not at all. I’d just hate to beat you up when your head’s not in the game. There’s no honor in that.”

“I’ll show you honor, you sanctimonious—”

Warmth at his back, pressure on his shoulders.

Suguru’s eyes are very wide.

“Are you two quarreling again?” Yuuji asks, disappointment heavy in his voice.

“Nope,” Satoru says.

“No, sensei,” Suguru echoes a second later. “Just talking. You know how it is.”

“All too well,” Yuuji says drily. “What’s this about Satoru being distracted?”

“How the hell did you hear that?” Satoru asks, craning his neck to try and stare at Yuuji. The next instant, he remembers he’s got a pair of very handy eyes that defy line of sight.

Yuuji’s expression is pretty mild. Half his eyes are clearly fixed on Suguru; the other two somehow seem to be making eye contact with Satoru through the back of his skull and all the fleshy bits in between.

Off to the side, Shouko is doubled over, hands gripping her knees as she pants and drips sweat onto the floor.

“—it, sensei,” Suguru is saying, his expression perfectly pleasant. “Just a little starting trouble.”

Yuuji’s hands tighten on Satoru’s shoulders. “That’s not like you two. If anything, getting you to stop is the issue.”

“Hey,” Satoru protests.

Suguru just chuckles awkwardly.

“Tell you what,” Yuuji says, voice low and considering, “let’s switch. Suguru-kun, pair up with Shouko-chan, please. Satoru, you’re with me.”

Satoru’s heart jumps to his throat, fluttering wildly.

Suguru glances at Shouko, and Satoru follows suit. She flashes them an okay-sign without straightening up.

“Ah,” says Suguru, looking back at Satoru. His face does something interesting—an expression that’s not fully realized. “Alright, sensei. Satoru…good luck.”

Satoru squints at him. “What the hell’s that tone for?”

Suguru’s face twitches again. “Nothing.”

“Oi—”

“Satoru,” Yuuji says warningly, and Satoru stills, slumping back against the broad body still flush with his back. Yuuji’s chest moves against him with a deep breath. “Alright then. Take five minutes, then the next round.”

Yuuji squeezes Satoru’s shoulder one last time and steps away, nodding at Suguru and patting Shouko gently on the back before heading out of the dōjō. He doesn’t go far, Satoru can tell from his cursed energy, but they all know from experience that he won’t return before five minutes are over. Sometimes, he’s kind and gives them an extra minute or two.

“I should’ve known,” Suguru says suddenly.

Satoru blinks at him. “The hell are you jabbering about now?”

Suguru sighs. “Would it kill you to be a little more polite?”

“Might,” Shouko chimes in. “Maybe that’s his secret power.”

“There’s no secret to my power.” Satoru tosses his head, his fringe flying out of his eyes. “I’m Gojou Satoru.”

“We know,” Suguru drawls. “Back to the point—at least try to be subtle about sleeping with our teacher.”

“Why? Both of you know already.”

“We don’t need details,” Suguru says.

Shouko makes a disagreeing noise. “I don’t know… Itadori-sensei has some fascinating biology.”

“Shouko.”

“He does,” Satoru agrees readily. Then he frowns. “Hands off the goods. He’s mine.”

“Satoru.”

Shouko rolls her eyes. “I don’t want him. I’m just curious.”

Satoru unbristles. “Well, that’s fine. Yuuji is fascinating.”

Shouko nods slowly. She’s still breathing a little hard, but it’s clear her focus is inward, probably putting together a mental picture of Yuuji’s “fascinating biology.” Satoru approves on principle, but he doesn’t really want to know the details. Past experience has made it abundantly clear that he and Shouko have very different ideas about what makes a body appealing.

Sure enough, she says, “Those extra arms would put a lot of strain on the torso—on his entire skeleton, really. Have you seen his muscular structure, Gojou? How much can the Six Eyes—”

“Shouko,” Suguru says repressively, “that’s our teacher.”

“So?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Suguru pinches the bridge of his nose. “Please just drink some water and cool down. As we all should.”

“Spoilsport,” she mutters but turns around and strides to the far end of the room, where they’ve kept their water bottles and towels.

Satoru and Suguru follow at a more sedate pace.

“You tired already?” Satoru needles, digging an elbow into Suguru’s side. “C’mon, we barely fought.”

“You barely fought,” Suguru points out. “Some of us were actually trying to listen to Itadori-sensei.”

Satoru huffs. “Teacher’s pet.”

Suguru whips his head around to gape at Satoru. “You’re calling me that? You?!”

Satoru considers that for a moment. “True. I don’t want you to be Yuuji’s pet. That’s my job.”

Suguru makes a strangled noise. Satoru bounces forward, swiping a bottle off the floor and tossing it to Suguru, who twists open the cap and takes a desperate swig before Satoru can even make a quip. Shouko has migrated to one of the windows and is tapping on her phone, humming softly to herself.

Satoru shrugs and grabs another bottle, leaning against the wall while taking small sips, a moment later, Suguru joins him. He is sweating a little, and Satoru watches as he unbuttons an extra button and flaps the side of the shirt, like he’s coaxing some air in.

“Hey, Suguru?”

Suguru gives him the side-eye. “What?”

“Wanna know what those extra muscles really feel—”

A towel cuts him off, pressed firmly against his face, and Satoru cackles against the fluffy fabric as Suguru tries his best to smother him with it.

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #85

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 6, Every Day, bees

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are long, as expected at this point in the story. Neither sideburn reaches longest-length.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair can be found.

...

Hairstyle Changes

I am focusing on the style before Crowley changes his appearance.

The lighting has lost the greenish tent that the demons gave over the elevator when Crowley was inside it.

Instead of one tiny pocket of hair before those elevator doors closed, Crowley has two more obvious pockets of hair. The top hair swoops upward and tilts to Crowley's right.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

As noted in the last post, the bookshop doors were open when Crowley went up in the elevator. Something somewhere made them closed again at the start of this episode. While Shax is not seen physically touching the doors or heard making a miracle sound to open the doors, the doors open with a sound that, to me, indicates it was most likely that she kicked them open.

That means those doors opened while Crowley was going up in the elevator. The bookshop now has an open broken window and its double doors open while Crowley is in Heaven. I don't know why it's important that these things are happening, but I think it is important and done on purpose by the overall story.

...

In Heaven, as an initiating touch for the scene, Crowley's left hand touches the wall of the elevator.

So, he's touched that bigger threshold with a physical touch while avoiding the buttons and doors.

He starts with a question, "Right, where do you keep your records?"

From this point onward during this scene, he and Muriel do not touch any physical earthly objects with their hands. However, what they do touch is their own reflections on the floor. In particular, Crowley keeps moving, occasionally pivoting with a squeaking noise using one of his shoes to indicate his altered touch with his reflection on the floor. Well, that's what I assume is the intent anyway.

My general understanding through my play is that Crowley is taking advantage of the reflections to handle the touches during their dialogue. In order to use this method, he is allowed to retie his Tied Hands three times. He makes use of having his back to the camera to extend or manage this play.

The first retying happens while Crowley is walking backwards. He does not make a point with his index finger, and neither does Muriel. He has a pocket made with his legs and his right shoe tip is visible, so that's probably what makes up for the lacking extended index finger. His Belt Head is visible, and there are plenty of potential Overhead Lights above and to the left of his left ear. If I want to find two in particular, I would pick the two visually pocketed between him and Muriel.

Muriel has an extended index finger before the rest of the second retying happens. Because the question occurs to me, I have checked that Muriel's pocket chain is also visible on screen when they make that point. Soon after, there are two cuts that could have the rest of the retying. The first cut is from a further distance from the camera where it's difficult to confirm if a clasp strikes a lapel edge. Crowley says, "It's fine." He had his back to the camera at the start of the cut. In the next cut, he says, "You're forgetting about the bees." Both of these cuts make sure Crowley's Belt Head is visible. The second cut gives him an Overhead Light.

For the third retying, Crowley is the one with an extended index finger, and he seems to extend the retying session due to how he keeps moving and circles around until he says, "unescorted." Again, the Belt Head is visible. He has two stronger Overhead Lights in the later part of the sequence to help further indicate that yes, he is extending the retying to have the clasp strike in this cut.

Another thing Crowley does during all of this sequence is make sure that he is in front of Muriel or visually on the camera's right hand side up until he changes the appearance of his clothes.

When the two are on screen together after Crowley's clothes change, Crowley is behind Muriel with Muriel now being on the camera's right hand side. Additionally, Muriel has both of their index fingers extended.

In the cut before Crowley changes his appearance behind a pillar, the tie is blurry with the tassels ensured to be off screen. The tassels are the thumbs of the Tied Hands.

After Crowley changes appearance, his gold tie is pocketed into his gray jacket. He has a gold headband, and he no longer has a belt. The Belt Head has moved to become his headband while he is in Heaven.

Crowley's chosen new sunglasses actually make his snake eyes more obvious. His snakeskin boots are gone and replaced with sandals, so that we can actually see his feet.

Near the end of the cut, he hops as probably a last altered touch to the ground. Now that his Tied Hands are pocketed, he can't use that reflection method anymore with the retying.

...

This Heaven visit will give an overall strong clue about Crowley's special sight and The Window Trick. In this scene, Crowley's body language as he slithers around this floor talking to Muriel indicates that he is seeing Muriel. Instead of seeing Muriel, he's sensing Muriel with his eyes. To communicate this special sight, his sunglasses lack reflections of Muriel or reflect the lights in this well lit space.

I credit the Heaven visit as a strong clue because it was the first one I found that led me to take notice of the moving people reflections in Crowley's sunglasses when he enters his car at the end of this episode.

...

The bees dialogue is a meta reference to the Good Omens book. Speaking of books, as an update about my reading progress in a desperate attempt to improve my play, I am currently reading Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. That puts me at book 17 out of 41 of the Discworld series.

...

Story Commentary

I would think that Heaven is supposed to be an equivalent inside the pub despite its vast expanse. That way, Crowley's car is Hell, and the pub is Heaven. But I'll admit, I can't really confirm it for myself by trying to look at the clues from the story, such as where the lights are and when.

...

(For reference: Bookend Buddies - Crowley and Muriel (Part 2))

The below is largely copied from the first link above with some edits now that I understand how active the Tied Hands and Belt Head are throughout Good Omens 2.

As the two arrive in Heaven, Crowley makes sure to exit the elevator first. His foot decidedly makes sure to not touch the lower threshold of where the doors slid open. His shadow can be seen to his left side. When Muriel follows, they don't have a shadow to their left side at all. That could be a clue about their angel light.

Crowley quickly refers to Muriel's rank when asking about records. We've already seen Muriel know Crowley's name without us knowing how they got it. Now we see Crowley know Muriel's rank without us knowing how he got it. We're even going to see both of them receive each of these pieces of information later on this trip in Heaven.

Not long after the rank reference, one of the lines Crowley says is, "You're forgetting about the bees."

Crowley, how many times has Muriel helped you break into Heaven by this point?

I hope it's not more than one, but it's going to be awhile to get such an answer.

Muriel's "forgetting" are they? Does he know that Muriel knew about the bees before? Did they talk about it? Did they work together?

As noted in the Earthly Objects section, Crowley is pocketing his Tied Hands when changing his clothes. He's doing that because Muriel led him to that decision.

Neither one seems to truly remember the other, but both are guiding each other to certain ends.

...

The Bookshop

It's probably worth checking in with the events of the bookshop while Crowley and Muriel are in Heaven. After this particular scene for their entrance, the story goes back to the bookshop.

Gabriel is instructed to go and hide. Aziraphale eventually decides to leave the area to get a candelabra. Maggie seems to accidentally invite the demons in. Shax's posture is stiff and suggests she has retreated into preferring to not have any visible physical touches on earthly objects herself.

When Aziraphale returns, he finds out that the demons are entering.

As they enter, the standing chandeliers near the front of the bookshop are affected. The way I interpret this part of the story is that change is to convey demon darkness. It surrounds them as a collective aura.

Aziraphale addresses the circle, and it lights up in response.

The story shows that these lower-ranked demons were actually willing to retreat before Shax threatened to hurt them.

Who is on the other end of that circle? My guess is Saraqael though the Metatron is certainly a possibility. In season 1, it was the Metatron. While it could be him again, it's hard to be sure since I think the story has hinted that Saraqael is who can and does watch and look in on the bookshop from above the circle, notably during the episode 1 miracle to hide Gabriel. Plus, I think the Metatron is an outside force slowly entering the book that is this story during these particular events.

We'll see Saraqael approach Crowley and Muriel while they are in Heaven and before we see the Metatron.

This sequence ensures that it's understood the broken window is still broken and open, and that those two bookshop doors are still open. In fact, the doors still being open is confirmed in the last video frame before the episode 6 opening theme song.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[yuyu1024]

I missed you

Pairings: Yoongi (Suga) × y/n

Genre/tags: idol secret dating

Warning: language, making out, semi public sex, pet names, fluff [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.40k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: repost. Check pinned post for more ♥️

*******

He have been touring for a while. You wished you can accompany him and see the world with him but that's impossible. You have your own work and you can't risk people seeing you in every tour stop. It's for your own protection and also for his career. You don't want to ruin his career.

It maybe romantic to scream yo the whole wide world that he is your man and you both love each other so much. It's not always the best option.

But since it's been months since the last you saw him, you planned on going to one of his stop. You saved enough money and Vaction leave credits so you can stay for a week for him. Since he will be staying as well for work too.

----

Admiring the view from your balcony, you can't help but smile like a little kid while taking pictures of the sky, the buildings and everything you're seeing.



(Photo not mine. Ctto)

You got tense a little as hands snakes around your torso. "Having fun?" But the second you heard his voice, your body relaxes. You lean back, head on his shoulder and giving him access to kiss you on your neck. "I'm sorry, I'm a little late... we got caught in traffic on our way back."

"It's fine. I understand." Moving away from his embrace, you face him and admire how dashing he looks. "Your hair got longer..." you then tug his hair behind his ear.

"Well, you said you wanted to see me with longer hair so... I grew it out."

"Did I?"

"Yes, mentioned it before..."

"You really do pay attention to everything I say..." you giggle on how cute your boyfriend is. This makes you feel happy.

"It's because I love you..." he moves closer to you, making you walk back a little. Your lowerback now is leaning on the fence of the balcony. His face is just inches away from yours, "I missed you so much..." he say staring at your parted lips. "Wait.. You're wearing make up?"

You look away, a little embarassed. You're not the type to actually put make up all the time. Yoongi is used to seeing you barefaced since you two always meet in hiding. Either your apartment or his.

"Well, it's been so long since I've seen you... and... maybe... you've seen quite a few beautiful ladies around the world so..."

He snorts a laugh. He tries not to laugh but you can see how his shoulder is shaking trying to supress it.

"Yah!" You slap him by his shoulder, "what's so funny? Am I a joke to you now?"

"Oh, babe." He wraps you up in embrace, his hands, one at the back of your head and one at the back of your neck. His thumb lightly caressing you. "You know how much I love you... I don't care about other women. My eyes, heart, body and soul is just for you... my Y/n..."

You lock your arms around his torso. "I love you too... so much..." you nuzzles your face on his chest. "I missed you so bad... this have been the longest we were apart."

"I know..." he kisses the top of your head and then reaches for your chin to lift it up. "I've missed you to... and.." he pauses to kiss you. He does it with a very longing feeling. He is not rushing every move but he's very much leading the whole kiss. You can feel how he savours each lips to lips friction.

"Yoongi," you say as you lips parted from his, "I think we should get inside... we are exposed here..."

"Why? Don't you love to make out here? With this view?" His body is closer to yours. So close that both of your clothes are the only thing separating you both.

"I do..." You push your hair away from your face, "but don't you think... people might see us...?"

He leans down and begins kissing you on your neck then your exposed shoulder. You didn't realized he had already slipped the strap of your dress down.

"Yoongi..." you moan but you still try to stop him. "Babe..."

"We're on the 28th floor. We are facing the ocean... the other buildings are far away. They will not notice us..." he says quietly

He grabs both your hands by the wrist, throwing them around his neck for you to hold onto. He then takes one of your leg up around his hips. Pushes the skirt of your dress away, exposing your legs and giving him an easy access to your panties.

"Please...babe... allow me..." he runs his thumb over your already wet core. "I want to have you now... promise... I will be careful... if you're worried anyone would see us... I just..." your foreheard together, his eyes closed shut as he rub his thumb on you.

You didn't answer him yet. You want answer but your so indulged in the moment.

"Ah! Yes..." You hold on tight around his neck. You feel a sudden weakness on your body as he continues to rub your clit. "More... Yoongi... more..."

"Did you miss this?" He whispers to your ears. You nod. "How about this?" He pushes your panties to the side and slides one finger in.

"Fuck! Ah! Y-yes..." you cry. Your grip onto his shoulder like its life or death. "Please... so good!"

Yoongi slowly pushes another digit in you making you quiver with pleasure. "I love how you sound..." the rythm of his pushing in and out of you is making you go crazy.

"Please... I want you..." you says looking into his eyes. "I want... you..."

He picks you up like a bride. "Let's go inside. It's getting cold."

"I thought... you want to try do have sex here... for a change..."

"We can if you want to.. but I realized I don't want you to get sick. You get cold so easily..."

"Oh, okay."

"Plus, I don't think they are ready to hear us do this all night... maybe some other time. For now... all of your orgasm is mine to hear and enjoy."😈

[neondiamond]

🎁 Recently Read Fics - December 2023 🎁

These are all the amazing fics I read over the past month (from shortest to longest). Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to show the authors your appreciation if you read any of these! ❤️

🎁 A Green Christmas by @tommokat (871, T)

A short, sweet snapshot of Niall and Shawn’s first holiday season living together.

🎁 to wake up by your side is all I wanna do by @beardyboyzx (1k, G)

Sometimes, Niall still thinks about the way Zayn’s laugh sounds when they watch TV and Niall makes up fake answers for whatever quiz show they’re watching.

🎁 Oh Christmas Three by @tommokat (1k, M)

A birthday surprise goes awry. Louis doesn’t understand. Harry blames the oven.

🎁 make my wish come true by @voulezloux (2k, NR)

the one where all harry wants for christmas is lou

🎁 Baby, please come home by @iysics (2k, T)

Breaking into his neighbour's house wasn't on Harry's Christmas checklist.

🎁 Stuck in Midnight Traffic by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (3k, M)

the one where two broken people meet in an empty tube car on Christmas Eve. Can they find a way to heal each other?

🎁 All The Way Home I’ll Be Warm by @justanothershadeofblue (3k, T)

Harry & Louis jokingly send out holiday cards together as friends, and now everyone is congratulating them for finally getting together. A 5+1 fic, for Christmas.

🎁 Santa Baby (one little thing I really need) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (3k, T)

When Louis himself had first heard those words - all the nurses at the A&E have a secret line to Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve-, not nearly long enough ago to be considered a child himself, but long enough that he hadn't really felt like an adult all the time, he’d laughed them off. Thought they were sweet, of course, but just a line, something said to appease the kids who ended up having to stay overnight. Something to explain the presents that parents brought to the hospital on Christmas morning, or that were waiting for them at home, if they were lucky not to have to stay any longer.

Something that would allow a little bit of Christmas spirit in the sometimes sterile rooms of the hospital.

But that was before he’d met him.

🎁 A Christmas at Home by @parmahamlarrie (3k, T)

After meeting his boyfriend in the emergency room, not having Louis home for Christmas Eve (and his birthday) was not a big surprise to Harry. What he didn't expect was just how hard that would be on his six year old son, Arlo.

Or, the one where Arlo wants nothing more than to celebrate Louis' birthday with him, and Harry hates having to be the parent who says no.

🎁 I Saw Several Angels in the Self Help Section by @londonfoginacup (3k, G)

Zayn and Louis are soulmates.

They're also missing some soulmates.

For extra flavour, it's Christmas.

🎁 Elf on the Shelf Suprise by @megz1985 (6k, T)

Liam brings home an Elf on the Shelf to surprise his and Zayn's toddler with Christmas magic, but things don't go as planned when she's completely terrified of her new Christmas friend.

🎁 The Busker by @chelsea-frew (7k, T)

A snowstorm has trapped artist Louis at home on his birthday--Christmas Eve--and on Christmas. Louis anticipates a lonely holiday. A mysterious stranger appears on Christmas morning, however, and Louis doesn't have to spend the day alone. But where did the man come from? Why does he seem familiar? It's a Christmas mystery.

🎁 Lonely Cards Club by @hellolovers13 (25k, T)

Harry's life in Cardiff is rather uneventful. Until he receives a strange Christmas postcard.

It gets even stranger when he finds another one the next day.

An Advent story about missed opportunities and second chances.

🎁 You Ain’t Gotta Feel Fear Just Mingle by @londonfoginacup (32k, T)

Harry has been at his dream job for less than three months, and he knows two things for sure; first, his project manager doesn't know what he's doing, and second, someone in the office is apparently pure evil, and no one will tell Harry who it is.

Oh, and the guy who works in conservation at the other end of the building is the most beautiful man Harry's ever seen, even when wielding a hot iron as a weapon.

Happy Christmas, here's to many more.

🎁 Snow In Love by @lululawrence (33k, NR)

Harry and Louis are best friends and have been for basically as long as they can remember. For the first time since middle school, they are both single for the holidays leaving them with the brilliant idea to take each other as their dates to work events. To make things easier they will pretend like they’re dating. But then they learn something funny.

People thought they were already dating. Weird.

An advent fic featuring childhood friends, fake dating turned actual dating, really horrible secret keeping, and a winter weather surprise.

🎁 Heart Beat by @allwaswell16 (33k, E)

Hideaway Haven is the place that Louis has always called home. It's also the place that Harry had tried to leave behind him. When Harry returns to start a music academy in his hometown, he finds himself face to face with his high school crush—and his charming daughter who wants to learn to play the drums.

🎁 I Really Like Your Styles: The Baking Advent-ure by @homosociallyyours (34k, T)

Louis isn't much for frills, and the coffee shop he co-owns with his best friend Liam is evidence of that. Yes, it's got a decent sized, well-kept industrial kitchen, but Louis insists that people come to coffee shops for coffee, not mediocre pastry and plastic wrapped cookies. When Liam's campaign for serving treats turns into watching a few baking accounts on whichever popular app he's on, there's one that really gets on Louis' nerves: "I Like Your Styles." With his chipper demeanor and over the top descriptions of the food he makes, Louis is sure that the (unfortunately cute) baker is full of it. Nothing that adorable could possibly be worth the hype.

It doesn't actually take much for him to eat his words...and some quality baked goods, while he's at it.

[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 1 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~6k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment industry; character experience and description of disassociation; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate skinship; cursing; conversations surrounding soulmates and sex; character experiences an emotional breakdown; light embarrassment; CONFLICT (you knew it was coming, right?), there is plenty of fluffy stuff too I PROMISE 😂😅

Author's Note: Wow. It's been a minute. If you're still reading this story, thank you for sticking with me, and I apologize for the stretch of time between updates. For the longest time, I just couldn't get this part right...and then it was far too long, so I split it up, and I'm still editing the second, and (potentially) third parts. I got several messages from readers who were worried I might have abandoned this fic, and let me assure you, far from it! I am not a speedy writer, and struggle with doubting if what I'm putting on the page is good enough, so sometimes it takes me a minute to update, but let me assure you, these characters are so special to me and so alive in me, and I ask thank you for your patience as I work to tell their story! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and feedback on the story - I appreciate each and every one of them!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"I needed the light of your energy, I looked around, devouring hope."

~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

  "FUCKING FINALLY."

    "Hey, Di."

    "How dare you ghost me for the forty-eight most interesting hours of your life?!"

    "Well, I was low-key occupied..."

    "TELL ME EVERYTHING." 

     You sighed, settling down on a shaded bench in the garden grounds of the hospital to which you had escaped for a little privacy and an important phone call or two.

    "Uh oh. That was your 'things are complicated' sigh," Diana prodded.

    Your eyes tracked a swallowtail as it flitted from azalea to azalea.

    "Well, things certainly aren't conventional or straight-forward, that's for sure. But where's the fun in understanding the basic parameters of what you're getting yourself into on a life-altering scale, right?"

    "Ummmm...what does that mean? You met him, right?"

You could barely hear your sister's question over the crinkle of plastic in the background.

    "Yeah, I did. We bonded too."

    "Oh mah gah!!" Diana choked out amidst sounds of crunchy chewing. "So what's he like?"

    You thought for a moment.

    "He's kind and intelligent. Obviously extremely resilient. His presence is impressive, but he has something about him that's very disarming. He's kind of clumsy and at moments almost...shy? Like, I don't know what I expected, but there's this sweetness to him that you wouldn't anticipate from someone in his position."

    "As a cancer patient?"

    "As an idol."

    You sighed again.

    "I don't know...he's..."

    Diana let out a strangled sound and uttered an enthusiastic string of words you couldn't make out.

    "I have no idea what you just said. Could you please decide whether you want to talk to me or consume an entire bag of Doritos?" 

    "Hey, it's dinner time here!" she whined, "And I said," her voice quickly changed to take on a smug sing-song tone, "That last sigh was your smitten-kitten one..."

    "It was not!" you cut her off sharply. "And get every single idea of Namjoon and I as a couple out of that scheming head of yours because he's very much taken. I'm meeting his fiancée for lunch today."

    "What? He's engaged?"

Diana let out an exasperated huff.

"Why didn't they tell you about this right off the bat? You're going to be the soulmate of a married man? What does that even mean? This is bullshit."

    You had a hard time disagreeing with her there. It was, in fact, bullshit that Namjoon's team had kept his relationship status a secret. Would it have changed your decision? Probably not. This had been about saving Namjoon's life, not some bizarre attempt at matchmaking. But having a third person to consider, and so intimately, as part of the equation for the rest of your earthly life felt like something you should have been made more immediately aware of. Navigating your boundaries with your soulmate had already been complex enough without introducing the prospect of being a fixture in his married life. When Namjoon had breached the prospect of meeting her, he had been taken aback at your surprise - he, like you, had assumed that Hybe's representation had disclosed everything of significance.

    "So it's a good thing I came here as a lifeline, not a mail-order bride," you reminded your sister, "And that seems to be working, by the way. His vitals are already stable. They stabilized overnight, in fact. And his white blood cell count was way up this morning, which is good because I guess he was experiencing immunosuppression from the chemo."

    "Oh, nice," Diana murmured.

You had to remind yourself that she was young and excitable, and not to be annoyed at the disappointment that he crept into her tone. However, never one to be down for long, her voice brought its usual bright mischief through the speaker as she posed her following question.

    "By the way...how was bonding?"

    She had said it with an inescapably salacious undertone, which is why, you told yourself, heat had begun to creep up the base of your neck. You stammered, switching the phone from one ear to the other as you bought yourself time to reassemble your decorum. 

    "Ah...I mean...it was...intense?"

    "Ooooohhhh," Diana trilled, only making you more uncomfortable as the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks, "Intense, huh? Like in a good way?"

     You squirmed uncomfortably where you sat, thoughts of Namjoon's pleasure-stricken face and the strength of his hand and how his skin felt against your own hitting your hippocampus like a flash flood.

    "Y/n?"

    "It was fine, okay? And it worked - so that's what's important."

    "....Okaaay..." Diana drawled skeptically.

You scrambled for another talking point.

    "That kid visited. The one who came to the States - Jungkook. And another one of the members too - Jim...Jimin? I'm still trying to get their names straight. Some of them don't go by their actual names on stage - Namjoon is RM...but you knew that. Anyway, I digress. Both the boys were really sweet. Seems like they're all very close. I'm supposed to meet the rest of the members at some point next week at dinner. They wanted to have a sort of 'last supper' for us since we're probably going to start rejecting food soon."

    "That's cool, you get to meet the whole team! Oh my gosh, you're just going to casually have dinner with BTS...this is still so unreal!"

    "Yep," you affirmed, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

Namjoon had hit you with a couple of whoppers last night, but this was one you were actually looking forward to. You told Diana all about your first two days in Seoul - about the impressive hospital and its kind staff. About meeting Namjoon, and his condition. About how everything was still so fresh and new. About how so many things were still unsettled, so many questions unanswered.

    "So are you nervous?"

    "About what?"

    "Meeting his girlfriend."

    You had been so wrapped up in filling Diana in on it all that you had actually forgotten about the impending lunch date. As you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time, your stomach lurched. 

    "Shit, I better get going. It's almost eleven-thirty." You sprang up and started quickly back toward the building.

    "That wasn't an answer," Diana scoffed, "But, hey, sis?"

    "Yeah?" You pressed the "up" button on the elevator.

    "Don't be."

    You smiled.

    "Love you, Di."

    "Love you too. And so does anyone worth a damn."

    After deciding that you smelled like outside, you showered quickly then slipped into caramel-colored corduroys and an off-white tee. You rummaged around the small suitcase Matt had brought from the hotel for you in search of a sweater. After several exasperating minutes of unsuccessful digging, you heaved the bag of laundered clothes that had been returned to you by the hospital staff this morning, having gone through much of the what the Hybe staff had initially pilfered from your luggage in the last two days.

You grumbled in relief as you pulled out your dark green cardigan and slipped it over your shoulders, wondering what the hell the hospital laundry services had done to stretch it out so badly. But, you didn't have time to fuss - so you bunched up the sleeves and headed to the opposite end of the hospital's outdoor grounds where you suspected Namjoon and his guest were already waiting. 

    The hospital grounds were extensive and beautiful, sporting a garden that extended from the western wing, and a lawn punctuated by traditional pavilions to the east. He had pointed out the one he had reserved to you last night - tucked away in the shade of the large gingko trees flanking the little man-made stream that delineated the border of the grounds.

As you made your way toward the shady spot you chided yourself for being so uneasy - everyone surrounding your soulmate had been as lovely and warm and welcoming as he had been, and the woman he loved would likely be no exception. After Namjoon had disclosed that she was a musician like he was, you had done a bit of online recon before going to bed that night.

Her given name was Kim Hyung-seo, but her stage name, by which she was well-known, was Bibi. She was four years Namjoon's junior, but seemed nearly as ambitious. From what you could tell, she seemed to share a similar drive for artistry and honesty in her musical process as her future husband, and though her tendency for loose-canon candidness had landed her in hot water more than once, her earnest sincerity had engendered her to the hearts of her peers and fans alike. In an industry that seemed to often censor and restrict women, Hyung-seo didn't seem to give much credence to the rules. You liked that. You were actually kind of excited to get to know her a bit and ask her about her art - you had always been a woman's woman, and being in the company of strong feminine energy was something you found deeply empowering and grounding. You anticipated that your soulmate's girlfriend was someone you could respect, and you allowed yourself to venture to hope that feeling would be mutual.

    You trotted up the steps of the pavilion and took in its contents. The center had been fitted with a low, round table bearing a colorful and mouthwatering spread of gogi, bibim guksu, gimbap, and banchan. Cushions had been placed on the floor for seating, but none bore the lunch companions you had been anxious not to keep waiting. You were about to take your place at the table when a figure moving near the creek caught your eye.

You moved to the far side of the structure, to see your soulmate deeply engaged in conversation...with a duck.

He was standing near the edge of the water, his tall figure clad in silky modern navy blue hanbok. The top was untied and hung loosely over a white tee - the only contrast to the deep muted tone apart from his cognac loafers. He wore a dark beanie pulled low on his head, which was bowed in affectionate greeting to a juvenile Gadwall who had paddled away from his family to sample the little bits of starchy fluff that the stranger had sprinkled onto the water.

You pressed your palms against the painted wood, taking him in with a smile as he crouched down, extending a bit of bread between his fingers slowly toward the curious little water foul.

This man, you were learning - this erstwhile underground rapper, this leader of men, this brilliant intellectual and genius artist - this great, powerful, impressive man could be called out of his poise in an instant by the sweet and tiny things of the world.

You watched as he waited patiently, the little duck swimming in to-and-fro circuits and drawing closer and closer to Namjoon with each pass, until finally it was close enough to snatch its prize from him and scuttle off quickly to rejoin its mother and siblings. Namjoon chuckled, smiling fondly as he watched the duck make his way back down the creek.

This man, you thought to yourself, could not possibly be real.

    "So you're a Kpop idol and a Disney princess, huh?" you called, causing Namjoon to startle and rock back on his heels, landing on his posterior in the damp grass.

    You slapped a hand over your mouth to repress the laughter that threatened to bubble up at the site of his large well-dressed figure tipped back haphazardly on the creekside. He huffed a sheepish laugh as he stood, swiping at the back of his pants.

    "Give a person a little warning?" he chided lightly, approaching you where you leaned on the railing.

    "Sorry," you chuckled, "I didn't want to scare your little friend."

    "So you settled for scaring your soulmate? I see how it is." 

    You smiled and ducked your head.

    "Sorry," you murmured, flicking your gaze back to his.

He looked up at you, fixing you with his warm brown eyes and bringing his hands to grip the railing on either side of yours. Suddenly, you felt shy. You shook yourself.

    "Hey, hang out with the ducks and you'll end up with a wet tail," you teased.

Namjoon's eyebrows drew together in mock disgust.

    "Yikes, you're almost as bad as Seokjin hyung," he remarked disparagingly.

    You shrugged, smirking.

    "I have no idea what that means, but whoever Seokjin is, he must have a superior sense of humor."

Namjoon was opening his mouth to respond, but was cut short, as the tiny motion of your shoulders had slid one of your hands just a centimeter down the railing and barely flush with his own. The slight contact was enough to send sudden little tingles of comfort shooting up your arm and across your chest. In a millisecond you felt yourself relax where you hadn't realized you were tense. You could have imagined it, but you thought you felt Namjoon press his hand just a fraction more into yours as he swallowed and heaved a deep sigh.

You reminded yourself for the hundredth time since you arrived that this was biological. Clinical. The means to an end. Damn, he felt good though.

You found yourself snatching your hands away to push up your cardigan sleeves and then stuff them into your pants pockets where they would stop confusing you. You distracted yourself from Namjoon's subtle look of disappointment with an apology.

    "Sorry about your pants," you rocked back on your heels as you looked out over the little ribbon of water rippling over its stony bed behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and brushed himself off again before waving a hand in dismissal. Your eyes focused back on the blue silk.

"I didn't realize this was a fancy lunch. I feel under-dressed."

    "You look nice," Namjoon rebutted, as he glanced over your attire. Then his brow pinched as his eyes halted on your torso, flitting over your arms and shoulders. "But isn't that -"

    "Joon?"

A voice behind you caused you to turn.

Standing at the top of the steps was the woman it belonged to. She was tall and beautifully slender - her svelte figure draped in a slinky chrome dress with a triangular cutout that displayed the smooth skin of her upper abdomen. Her glossy raven tresses were styled away from her face in a high ponytail, drawing sharp attention to her sultry features. Her smoky eyes glanced over your form with a lazy intensity, lids half-raised over dark irises, and her pouted lips pursed in appraisal. You wondered just exactly how many ridiculously beautiful people traveled in Namjoon's circle.

She stepped toward you, her chunky pink heels marking her confident strides on the floorboards, before bowing and extending a small hand with sharp white acrylics and icy sliver rings.

    "I'm the girlfriend!" she hummed, her deep, velvety voice matching her features.

    You bowed in return before shaking her hand politely.

    "So nice to meet you," you smiled, "I'm -

    "The soulmate," she cut you off, glancing over your shoulder at Namjoon, who still stood outside the pavilion, "of that weirdo." '

Namjoon circled around to the entrance of the pavilion before joining you with a wry smile. He introduced the two of you formally, before being the first to take a seat at the table. Hyung-seo joined him, shimmying her cushion closer to Namjoon's as she used a pair of chopsticks to load her plate with selections from the spread. 

    "Oh my god, I'm STARVING," she gushed, staring at Namjoon impatiently as he took a bit of kimchi fried rice and a few slices of samgyeobsal.

    "My stomach feels like it could take some real food for the first time in a while," he said with eager enthusiasm, glancing up at you with a smile of gratitude. 

    Hyung-seo tapped her chopsticks against her plate as she watched you survey the dishes before you. You took some kimchi fried rice and carefully ladled out a small bowl of doenjang-jjigae. You pulled your hands into your lap and watched the steam rise from the fragrant broth.

    "Ah, unnie..." Hyung-seo began before Namjoon shushed her and lightly tapped her knee.

You glanced between them in confusion. Namjoon merely smiled at you, and you smiled back, glancing down from his warm gaze to your plate.

    "Oh for the love of god, would you take a bite?"

    You looked up rather startled at Hyung-seo, who was leaned forward, her desperate eyes tracking your movements, and the chopsticks clutched in her right hand hovering over a plump, sweating mandu.

You blinked, fumbling for your chopsticks as your soulmate admonished the woman next to him. You took a heap of fried rice onto your chopsticks and brought it to your lips, looking questioningly between the two across from you. Hyung-seo groaned in impatience, her head lolling back.   

    "In Korea, the eldest eats first," Namjoon offered in soft explanation, his features trained in apology.

    As realization washed over you, you all but shoved the rice into your mouth, hoping to swallow your embarrassment with it, followed quickly by Hyung-seo, who popped two mandu into her mouth consecutively. Her eyes rolled back as she let out a groan of appreciation. You watched Namjoon carefully savor a piece of samgyeobsal. He smiled a dimpled smile. You smiled to yourself as you tucked into your fried rice. Namjoon's fiancée watched you both. Her cheeks were full, but she wasn't smiling.

Your little trio ate in contented silence until your visitor, having satisfied her belly, fixed her eyes on you with a different sort of eagerness. The time for questions had come, you realized. You set down your chopsticks, taking a drink of water.

    "I'm sure there is so much we'd like to know about each other," you offered with a smile.

    She pulled her lips into a brief grin, sipping from her own glass as her eyes trailed over you. You cleared your throat.

    "So, I read that y-"

    "How does it feel?" she interrupted, starring at you raptly. You blinked.

    "I'm sorry?"

    "When he touches you." She licked her lips. "I heard it's like cumming. I heard it's better."

Namjoon slid a large hand over her thigh. You saw it squeeze.

    "Jagiya..." he murmured.

    You glanced at him and gave him a reassuring grin which he returned, though not as readily as before. Not the start to the conversation you had hoped for, but she was living up to her brusque reputation. You let yourself laugh a little at the question, and saw Hyung-seo's mouth curl up a bit at the corners, though it didn't reach her eyes.

    "It's nothing like sex, actually," you mused, trying to be as forthcoming as possible without abandoning politeness. "Strange, I guess, because it is all about physical exchange and contact. But...it's more like...nourishment? I don't know...I haven't had long enough to think about it."

You had had quite long enough to know that it was ineffable, but in the most intoxicating, magnificent way - and a hell of a lot better than most of the sex you'd had. This, however, wasn't the time and place for descriptions of the bond that could be ripped from the pages of drugstore romance novels.

    You found yourself turning to Namjoon with a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he had anything to add. He nodded in response, not meeting your eyes.

    "Yeah, it's different," he murmured succinctly.  

    Hyung-seo hummed in assent, chewing on her lip, her gaze still roving over you. You decided to try again.

    "So how did you m-"

    "How do you do it?"

    You stifled a small sigh that threatened to escape your lips.

    "Do what?"

    "Use the bond. Like, do you hold hands, or...or what?"

    You looked to Namjoon who murmured something in Korean that sounded like a warning. This wasn't going as you'd hoped. Her questions were natural ones, but not the first you thought you'd be asked, and not so pointedly. In fact, they were ones she should probably have put to her partner. Had they not spoken since you arrived?

    "The bond works with any physical contact. When I first got here, I had so many questions myself. The hospital personnel were very informative while helping us navigate our questions. I still know very little, but as someone whose partner is bonded, I'm sure they would have someone who could better answer these types of questions than I can," you offered.

It was the opposite of forthcoming, but you were absolutely not prepared to launch into a conversation about you and her fiancé spooning in your undergarments. The trajectory of the exchange had to go elsewhere, so you resolved to take the wheel.

    "Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Maybe I could tell you a little about myself. My job in the states wasn't glamorous, but I loved it. I was -"

    "A social worker, I know," she murmured with a sigh, and Namjoon's head snapped toward her.     

You could feel your confusion pulling into a frown. In your beat of silence, the woman in front of you gave into another impulse as she placidly launched into an answer of your unasked question.

    "You're a social worker from the West coast, oldest of three kids. Your father died when you were ten. You graduated summa cum laude, and chose a career in women's services. You support your mother's living - you have been, long-term. Your brother is an engineer and your sister is in nursing school. You've never committed any crimes, but you were arrested once in college at some political protest about immigrant rights. Your blood type is O positive. You don't seem very good with your money, but you've never asked for financial assistance. You've never been married." 

    Silence.

    Your ears were ringing.

    You blinked as you tried to focus, grappling for something on which to stabilize your composure. This isn't how this was supposed to go. You felt your control slipping as the words pierced you in echoes that knocked you back down each time you reached out to steady your mind. 

    "Your father died when you were young..."

    "...You support your mother's living..."

    "...You don't seem very good with your money"

    Your mind whirred as the silence closed in, and for a moment you were suspended.

        Diana and Henry weren't pillars, you thought - they were tiny little babies as your mother clutched them on either side of her prone, shaking form as shovels of dirt were shifted back into the gaping hole that held a pine box covered in flowers. You looked down at the flag in your hands, and then up at the white flowers, still fresh and blooming, being caked and sodden with damp soil. You felt something rising up in your chest - something that never reached the surface. You turned from the wound in the earth as Dianna reached out and tugged at your arm. The babies looked afraid. You couldn't see your mother's face from where it was buried in her skirts. You tucked the flag reverently under your arm and took the little hands.

    Somewhere outside the amniotic sack of your mind, you saw Namjoon's figure stand. You heard his garbled voice speak to the woman beside him. He was angry, his voice pitched low. Hers in response was sharp and high.

    You took a deep breath and exhaled. Your chest was beginning to labor and your inhaler was on the fifth floor of a building on the other side of the property.

You willed yourself back into this world you had chosen. This place which, like the others you had inhabited, would discover its new tenant didn't take long to adapt. She was built to withstand.

    "Namjoon," you called softly, as you looked up at your soulmate. His eyes snapped to yours, his face showing subtle but unmistakable signs of distress - eyes reflecting remorsefully and jaw flexing.

You smiled at him gently, reassuringly.

    "It's alright," you insisted, your eyes not leaving his.

You saw his shoulders sag, and his head bow. His hand came up to scrub over his face. You realized then that she was looking at you. Hyung-seo's expression was apprehensive, her eyes scouring your face.

    "This must be an extremely difficult thing for you, whatever the reason," you offered earnestly.

    She regarded you in silence, her eyes flickering like the flame of a candle.

    "I would say, 'I understand', but I don't. I have no idea how hard it must be to fall in love with someone only to watch them suffer at the hands of disease, and to suffer so greatly and to come so close to losing them that you turn to finding a person who can save them, and who - if they are saved by - they will need and desire for the rest of their natural life. A person who isn't you." 

    Her eyes quivered as they held you in their gaze.

    "I know I'm supposed to be a saving grace," you continued, having gained your ground, "But I know I could also look a lot like a threat. Trust me when I say that you can be open and honest with me about how you feel. This is a difficult situation where we're going to feel burdened by things we shouldn't. Namjoon and I discussed this."

    You smiled again at your soulmate, who was watching you with relief and something else in his features. You wanted to call it admiration, but you had only known him for two whole days.

    "Whatever fears you're carrying that make you feel like a burden in this moment, could I ask you to set them aside? For a chance to get to know me in the real way that you deserve? This isn't a trap. Or a cage. We've all chosen to be here."

    You regarded Hyung-seo in the silence that followed. Her eyes had fallen from your face - they glanced over toward where Namjoon stood, barely raising toward his figure, when she suddenly dropped her face into her hands and began shaking with sobs.

    You let out a sigh of relief too soft to be heard by the others.

    "Fuck...." Hyung-seo choked out against her palms, "I'm such a piece of shit..."

    Namjoon moved to place a hand over her back and assure her she wasn't. You wondered what she felt when he touched her. Your heart ached with pity for her. Namjoon drew her into his chest and held her as she cried her makeup off. He stroked her hair as her regarded her with weary, worried eyes. You couldn't help but feel that you were encroaching on a private moment...expect that you were a part of this as much as they were. Was there a lifetime of this feeling to be endured? You sighed again.

    "I'm gonna give you guys a minute," you whispered as you clambered to your feet.

    Namjoon nodded silently over the woman in his arms. 

    You watched scattered leaves from the boughs overhanging the far side of the stream spin as the were swept away. Your eyes tracked one in particular, twirling as it sailed around a protruding rock and under an arching root, only to be stopped as it was doubled at the middle by a thin, swaying reed. You found your feet moving to where the water rushed around it as it billowed helplessly on both sides of its obstruction like a flag of surrender. You slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants. You waded into the cool, clear water and, reaching out, tugged the little leaf free. You watched as it sailed on, disappearing around a bend in the waterway. You glanced back up at the pavilion. If you could have been sure it was the right move, you would have left altogether, but you wouldn't want your sudden departure to be taken the wrong way.

    You sighed. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket as you waded back out of the stream. Dead. You were bad about keeping it charged, and your conversation with Diana had drained its aged battery. You wished you had a book. Glancing about, your eyes caught a fairly large patch of clover flowers a few yards down the bank, and crossing the soft grass, you sank down in its center.

You smiled weakly to yourself as you plucked one of the little white buds near the base of its stem. You and your siblings would spend hours at the park under the shade turning sprawling patches of the puffy blooms into garlands, crowns, bracelets, and rings. You picked another flower and tied its supple stem into a knot just under the other flower's head. 

    By the time Namjoon came to join you, sinking down across from you in little clover patch you had fashioned yourself a crown and a necklace, and were working on a garland to send to Diana. You set down your handiwork to look up at him. He was regarding you with soft, somber eyes and a little smile that looked like one he didn't have the energy for but couldn't help besides. He picked a flower and twirled it between his fingers.

    "I'm so sorry," he murmured, "If I would have thought that things would go that way, I wouldn't have insisted on her meeting you before she left. She's going on tour and I thought...well, I thought if she just met you her anxieties would be eased."

    You nodded thoughtfully.

    "Thank you for your patience and kindness. She was out of line saying those things to you like that...you were...that was everything she needed to hear, I think."

    You cast your eyes down as you tied off another knot in the garland.

    "Is she okay?" you asked quietly.

    Namjoon sighed.

    "She's...embarrassed. Ashamed of herself. She wasn't in any condition to finish that conversation, so I suggested she go home."

    "Understandable," you assented, nodding again.

    Silence hung between you for a moment before you raised your eyes to his again.

    "Namjoon...there are some things I think we should discuss."

    He nodded earnestly, his eyes falling, brow creasing and tongue pressing into his cheek.

    "I know we haven't had much time," you continued, "And we have literally the rest of our lives...but, I think we should be on the same page about what we've been told about each other. I think it will make this whole process easier? I don't know. There are some things you assume you'll have to tell someone at a certain point in knowing them - some things that are...deeply personal..."

    "Aren't things between us already that way? Deeply personal?"

    You looked up and those half-lidded brown eyes were looking right at you in a way you weren't prepared for, in a way that flooded your veins. Soulmate. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel him and what he brought to you. You wanted him to feel it too. But you didn't know him, and he didn't know you, and he needed healing, which is why you were here. He loved someone who loved him whose lives you were disrupting. This feeling was basal, you knew - came with the territory...but you were going to need some strong boundaries if this was going to function. You were going to need honesty, for a start.

   "They are," you relented slowly, "But I have questions that I need answers to. Your trust in me is clear, and I appreciate that...but...I need time to get my footing here."

    Namjoon nodded in assent.

    "I get that. So, what do you want to know, specifically? I'll answer any question you have."

    You nodded gratefully.

    "Thank you. Do you think I could take a little time to think about what I want to ask? I'm kind of still processing everything that just happened."

    "Of course," he was quick to answer, "Whenever you want to talk, just let me know. Did I say how sorry I am?" he asked smiling weakly as he looked up from where he struggled to knot the stem of one flower around another, suddenly looking down again when its stem snapped between his fingers.

    You huffed out a little laugh.

    "Yes, you did," you did, you answered, offering him a rueful grin.

    He picked another flower only to realize he had cut its stem too short for his purposes. He tossed the little blossoms back into the grass.

    "Can you make me one?" he asked pathetically, pouting at the garland in your hands.

    You chuckled as you tied off the one in your lap and leaned forward to slip it over his head. He adjusted it around his neck, looking down at it with a pleased expression.

    "You know...if you can believe it, we actually got lucky in there," he smirked, his forehead creasing as he raised his brow.

    You gave him a look of confusion. His eyes trailed over your torso again before flitting back up to yours.

    "She didn't notice that you're wearing my sweater."

    You froze. Then you blinked down at the giant green cardigan that had, in fact, slipped down off of one shoulder. Then you gaped at him.

    He snickered.

    You scrambled to yank the sweater over your head, even as he laughed and protested, you blustered apology after expletive after apology.

    "Shit, it was in my laundry bag!" You whined in explanation as you shook it out and began to fold it in your lap.

    "Stop, just keep it on," Namjoon insisted, still clearly amused at your state of panic.

    "I have one just like this. Like, identical but obviously smaller. I just assumed it had stretched out in the wash..." You extended the sweater toward him.

    He shook his head.

    "Just give it back later, you'll be cold." He looked up at your exasperated expression and started laughing again.

    "Stooop..." you whined in embarrassment, and when he only laughed harder, you tossed the sweater in his face. As he balled it up with a smile where it fell down into his lap, his smart watch trilled. He glanced down at it.

    "I've got labs scheduled now," he sighed.

    "Hopefully they'll bring more good news," you offered, at which he nodded. "I seem to be getting the job done, if I do say so myself," you teased, leaning back on your hands and offering him a smug look.

He nodded, tongue in his cheek, then pushed to stand - with effort, you noticed - and extended a hand down to you. You didn't realize what the little smile on his mouth was for until you accepted his hand with your own, by habit, and were nearly knocked back off your feet as the bond surged through you like a wave of mind-numbing euphoria that left you unable to process information outside of what was sent coursing through your every cell from where he touched you.

    You blinked up at him as you got your wits about you, and he was looking down at you through little slits in his barely-open eyes, head tilted back and mouth hanging open - little smirk still tugging at its corner. You pursed your lips, trying not to grin back.

    "You did that on purpose," you chided, trying and failing to train your features in a scowl.

    His smirk deepened.

    "What? I was just being courteous..."

    You rolled your eyes.

    "I'm feeling a little weak, I think it would be best if you helped me back to the room," he muttered slyly, turning to head back toward the building.

The smile that was dimpling his cheek and creasing the corners of his eyes did something to your stomach that had you yanking your hand out of his grasp.

    "Yeah, right," you huffed, forging a few steps ahead of him, "You're putting a lot by your poorly reputed coordination to think you could walk while I was touching you." 

    He let out a laugh behind you. It was loud and bright and had you biting back a smile to match it.

    "What happened to getting the job done, sweater thief?" he called after you teasingly.

    Shit. Yeah. Boundaries. You were going to need them.

_________________________________________________

Well, they met! Next part to follow soon.

Thank you for sticking with me here!

Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25 @felicityroth @softforyoongles @berlianv @honneypies @deadrose287 @n0pesir

[riaarivic]

HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

🌙 Pairings YoongixReader

🌙 Genres Mafia!AU, Smut, Angst, Action, Thriller, Enemies to lovers

🌙 Rating 18+ minors DNI

🌙 Summary  You were an INTERPOL Agent assigned to infiltrate the depths of the most powerful Gang in South Korea: The Seven Moons. Your objective: to impersonate the daughter of one of their leaders and destroy the operation from within. That is, if they don't discover you first.

And Traitors won’t have the mercy of a quick death

🌙 Warnings For this chapter: Minor character death, drugs, foul language, mentions of organized crime. If any of theses topics make you unconfortable, please don't read this chapter. This is a mafia au, and organized crime is not all handsome boys and nice cars. This chapter and the next one are DARK.

So, if any of this triggers you, see you on chapter 12. Don't worry, you'll still understand the story. But no, this is not a filler chapter.

🌙 A/N At no time do I (the author) encourage this activity in real life, it is important that you know that the criminal acts in this book are that, a crime, as well as harmful to health and should not be romanticized. This is all a work of fiction for entertainment purposes.

Love, Ria

🌙 Chapter wordcount 5k (the longest one yet)

🌙 Series Index

1  2 3 4  5 6 7 8 9 10 11

HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

Rage? Of course you need it When it burns up there's always a reason Mayhaps it’s our history Sometimes it changes the world

Anger.

That was all Suga could feel right now. 

Red, hot, flaming anger.

That’s all he could feel since he received the call from JHope telling him that you had been kidnapped and no one knew where you were.

But the worst was when he learned who was suspected for your disappearance.

The Jade Dragon.

Of course anger was necessary.

He felt like a man about to lose his sanity.

But before he did…

He would kill a few men first.

The dimly-lit interrogation room was filled with the stench of sweat and fear. Suga stood across from an old man in cuffs, his ruined demeanor did not change the fact that he once was one of the most powerful men in the Asian mafia clans.

Wang Jiaer. 

The former second in command of the Jade Dragon.

That Kim Dohan captured and thrown into a wet, dimly lit room in the basement of the Seven Moons Mansion. 

Like a fallen warrior. 

That was turned into a war souvenir for Kim DoHan. 

"Where is she?" Suga demanded.

The old man coughed, spewing blood on the concrete floor of the dimly lit basement. He grimaced, his wrinkled face twisting into a grotesque smile. “Still haven’t learned any manners I see, young man.”

Suga glowered at the former leader of Jade Dragon, his grip tightening on the baseball bat in his hands. “You seem awfully cheerful for a dead man, old timer.”

"I don't know what you're talking about," the man stammered, his eyes darting around the room. The old man chuckled. “I’ve been dead for 20 years, boy. Your Leader just didn’t have the balls to finish the job.” His grin widened, showcasing his blood stained teeth. “Not like you.”

Suga swung the bat, smashing the old man’s fingers with a sickening crack. The man shrieked, his pained cries echoing in the empty basement.  "Where is she?" she asked for a second time.

The man's eyes widened in surprise. "What makes you think that I would know something about it? I'm here," he said, lifting his hand to show the cuffs “and my clan is done for, your Leader made sure of it.”

"Because nothing happens above ground without you hearing about it," Suga replied, his eyes narrowing. "And I don’t know, the pile of bodies with a pretty memo sitting on Jhope’s bay with your clan emblem on it, might really send a message.” 

The young gangster rounded the table that stood between them to be in front of the old man “I am going to ask only one more time. We’ll see how many more parts of you I’ll have to break before you die,” He paused “Where is Lee NaRi?”

The old man panted, his mangled fingers twisting at unnatural angles. But his eyes glinted with amusement. “Still don’t have the stomach for this, do you boy?”

Suga grabbed the old man’s collar and hauled him up from the chair, growling into his bruised face. “Do not fucking test me, Wang”

The old man chuckled. “You bark loud but your bite is lacking. I told you, the Jade Dragon clan is finished. I have been your family’s pet for 2 decades, I know nothing.”

The man gave him a low chuckle. "But I did hear about that, corpse container. Nice touch, a litte on the dramatic side. Not our style though" he paused and leaned towards Suga. “Oh, yes. You look just like your father, boy. He must be very proud in whatever deep corner of hell he ended up...”

“I DO NOT HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR YOUR GAMES, WANG!” Suga screamed at the man’s face, interrupting him, his gaze piercing. "And my father is Kim Dohan. He is very much alive," he said, his voice dripping with venom. "Start talking, and if you say something of value I might give you something you want."

"You and I both know that is not your father's name. And what do you know about what I want, young man?" the man asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Death” Suga said simply “you know there’s nothing for you outside these walls anymore. You want release”

“Oh, no. I want retribution, young man. I want Kim Dohan’s entire bloodline to suffer and disappear from the face of the Earth. I want that everything he has ever wanted to be suddenly ripped from his bloody hands… and only then, I want to die” Suga could see the warrior inside the old second in command; he was beaten, malnourished, there wasn’t an inch of skin that wasn’t bruised.

But he still commanded power. 

Suga let out a tired sigh knowing there was no other way to make Wang talk. So he let go of the baseball bat he had on his hands to bow his head.

“Please.” 

His men behind him looked at him in shock.

One of the young leaders of The Seven Moons was…

Beggin.

Even the old second in command couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. But he semed to be pleased.

“You must really care for this girl If you are willing to trade your pride for her” The old man sighed and tried to stand up, but his bruised legs could not let him. He extended one hand to take Suga’s “We did not do it. That is all I know. We are not responsible for the girl’s disappearance.” His voice was a dead man's sincerity. Suga knew he wasn't lying.

He didn't have to.

“Then who took her? Someone else is pulling the strings, someone on the inside. They knew where she was going and that she only had one bodyguard with her.  Was it...was it my brother? Was it Namjoon?” Suga tried and failed to not let his voice break. 

Anger was starting to wear off. 

And something else was bubbling inside him.

The old man sighed, shaking his head with an incredulous smile. “Your family and your trust issues. Always so quick to turn on your own blood.” His eyes glinted ominously. “The person responsible for the girl’s kidnapping is the same person who is responsible for the death of your father and the disappearance of your mother”

“My mother is dead.”

“Did you see a body? Listen young boy, you came here looking for the truth. And this is the only one I can give you. After all this time, at least you showed some manners and I owe it to her.” The old man paused and he knew he was waiting for him to continue “Your Leader killed your grandfather. To start the clan wars and then he killed your father. But Kim DoHan could never kill your mother”

The room went silent. 

Like the moment right after a lighting strikes.

Suga was waiting for the thunder. 

“Your mother is alive. Young man, and I think is time you go see her, she will know where the girl is. If you can find her first.” The look on Suga's face was a mix of confusion and anger. 

“I gave you what you wanted and I kept my promise” the man whispered. “Now give me what I want” 

With a swift move Suga got his gun outside his holster and shot the old man right between his eyes.

 

Death.

A clean shot. 

There it was, the thunder.

 

The terrifying sound hat announced the beginning of the storm that was starting to brew on Suga’s soul. 

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Location unknown, South Korea

Tap...

Tap...

Tap...

A leak was falling from the ceiling, the lack of windows and the artificial light coming in from the other room told you that you were in some sort of basement.

You were starting to regain consciousness and your survival instinct kicked in immediately.

Your brain was on agent mode observing everything that could tell you anything about where you were and who were your captors. 

Your eyes started traveling around the room, the walls are made of rough concrete, with no decorations or furnishings to make the space more comfortable. A metal door with a small window and a sliding bolt lock separates the basement from the rest of the building, making escape impossible.

The only furniture in the room is a mattress on the floor, a bucket in the corner for waste disposal, and a small table with a lamp and a chair where the protagonist's captor might sit to watch over her. The air is musty and stale, with a faint smell of dampness and mildew.

Remember every fucking thing you see, there is no time for a panick attack. You thought. 

Pay attention. 

You could distinguish a factory logo on the wall in front of you.

There were no such buildings in Seoul, so you must be on the outskirts?

Unless, you had been moved to another state while you were unconscious.

You could also tell that you were nowhere near the coast by the absence of saltpeter in the structures. 

You knew that at least three men were in charge of you, all carrying firearms and pocket knives.

But from what you had seen they had no clan markings.

Not a single tattoo.

Nothing to identify them.

That was strange...

That was all you had been able to discover so far, you weren’t sure how long you had been in that room

They kept you drugged, almost unconscious for the most part. But you could guess that it had been at least a day because they had fed you twice.

So far none of the men had spoken to you, they just went in to bring you food and came back out. Without looking at you, if you spoke to them they did not respond.

You heard them speaking in a dialect you could not quite place. But you knew it was from China.

Which was weird. 

The members from the Jade Dragon were all from Beijing, a few of them from some northern regions. 

But you were almost sure they were speaking in Wu. 

Which was fucking weird. 

Because the Shanghai triad did not work with the Jade Dragon. 

Not at all.

You said it two times before.

It was weird.

You were sitting on a mattress that seemed to be dirtier than the floor itself; with your hands starting to feel numb from the restraints that immobilized you. Your head hurt a little and you could still hear a ringing in your ears from the loud blow you had taken.

You were almost sure that you had a concussion and that the head wound was going to leave a scar... 

At the very least.

You knew it was useless to try to escape even if she broke free of your restraints because you had been unconscious when you were taken there. You had no idea  how far you were from the exit, nor how many men might be outside the place.

You were very good in combat  but going outside like this was suicide. 

Fuck.

You knew perfectly well the dangers you were exposing yourself to every time you accepted a mission. This was not the first time you have been in such a situation.

There were some scars on your skin that were proof of how dangerous your job was.

And then…

There were the other scars you couldn't see.

Those really hurt.

You had to stay calm.

Your best hope was that you would be found soon.

At least you hoped so.

No, you knew Yoongi would look for you.

Hopefully he was going to find you alive.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Suga just killed a man. 

And he was about to kill another. 

Specifically the one who let you leave the house with only one bodyguard.

“Namjoon!” Suga kicked open the doors to the meeting room where all his brothers were. “If even one hair on her head isn't intact when we find her, I'm going to kill you. It's a fucking promise”

Suga was past the point where he could control himself.

Anger was a fire that consumed everything in its path and the Second in Command would be the first target.

“Suga. Know. Your fucking. Place” Namjoon, who was sitting on the top of the table, barked each of the words as an order “I won't let you talk to me that way.”

The black-haired man let out a sinister laugh “Ah, you won’t? Then tell me brother, how is it that Nari, who is supposed to be our greatest responsibility, left this house without enough protection? “He paused when he was in front of him “With your permission?”

On the meeting room’s table you could see open computers and messy papers sprawled everywhere you looked.

To say that the seven Moons were in chaos was an understatement.

And what made things worse The Leader sent them a clear message:

He will not help them find the young heiress. 

You were their responsibility. 

And whatever happened to you. 

Kim DoHan swore to his sons, he would do it to them.

“I don't have to explain anything I do to you, Suga” Namjoon looked right into his eyes. Even if Suga was raging like a demon fresh out of hell, the Second in Command was intimidating. A calm sinister demeanor surrounding him. 

“You don't have to explain yourself?!? “ That was enough for the clan’s shadow to lose control and throw the first punch straight to his face “You break a promise, you lose a finger remember? Didn't we all swear to protect our father?” Suga screamed right at Namjoon’s face, Jhope tried to separate them but The eldest brother held him back. 

“This is on them,” he said.

Suga threw a second punch and this time Namjoon didn't dodge it, he let him hit him again “Do it then.” He took out a knife from his coat pocket “Start by cutting my finger. But after you finish with mine, you are next. Or did you forget that we also swore not to touch her?” The black-haired man's eyes widened, he knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding his nightly trips to the girl's window.

The taller one held the knife by the edge of the blade hard enough for drops of blood to start dripping on the expensive fur rug. “Did you think no one would find out that you spend every night in her room? Weren't you supposed to follow her everywhere? Why didn't you follow her today? Where were you at the beauty salon?” 

Shit.

As hard as it was for him to admit it, he had failed you too.

This morning he had decided to go to settle some unfinished business instead of following you as he had been doing since the day you arrived in Seoul.

That made his blood boil even more.

But he wasn't going to explain himself to that jerk Namjoon.

“No answer? How about this one, do you think father doesn't already know what you have been doing? I'm going to find her Suga, and when I do I'm going to make sure of two things.” Namjoon paused, the light seemed to drain from his eyes, replaced by a menacing darkness. “The first thing I’ll make sure of is that you never touch her again. And the second one is that you are completely out of the clan's inheritance” he finished his voice sounding more like a growl. 

“You know what the funniest thing is Kim Namjoon? That you think you deserve everything, that you can control everything. Just because for now you are the right hand of the clan.” The other brothers were standing still in the room, none of them could challenge their Second in Command. 

Never like that.

Unless you were Suga and didn't give a shit if you lost a finger or your whole arm “Do you think your pathetic attempt to intimidate me really works? Go ahead, cut off your own finger and keep spilling blood on the carpet. It won't be a waste, after all you're not the true heir to this clan's legacy.... “ 

“That's enough hyungs, damn it! While you two are playing who has the biggest dick or the purest blood or some other ridiculous bullshit. Nari-Noona is somewhere scared, alone and who knows what they might be doing to her.” To everyone's surprise, the youngest of the brothers was the one who dared to interrupt them “For God's sake, a week ago they sent us a container of corpses, what do you think they're going to do to the heir of this clan?”

Suga and Namjoon turned in surprise to look at their younger brother, there were very few occasions when JK was disrespectful to them “We are wasting time, because in the best case scenario... they are going to kill her”

And in the best case scenario The Leader would kill them for failing in their mission.

“You are right, Joon,"  Jin, who was sitting at the other end of the table, stood up to look at his brothers. "This is the third time we are under direct attack, so I called my police contacts. Every inch of Seoul has at least one surveillance camera and Miss Nari was kidnapped in the only place where there wasn't one. They have contacts, at least with the security department.”

Seokjin was always the most controlled of the brothers, every step he took was well calculated. So many years involved with the high forces of his country's politics had taught him to remain calm in crisis.

And even if he couldn't get any answers, something was very wrong.

“I have 5 Hacker squads trying to trace her digital footprint, there is nothing, she disappeared” Jhope was the next one to speak “We are all worried, but this is already bordering on ridiculous, you have to stop fighting.” The others nodded in agreement with what the brown-haired man had just said.

Suga threw the knife to the ground and made an exasperated sound “You're right, I'm wasting my time with you.” He finally said and crossed the doors that would lead him to the mansion’s garden. 

When Suga was outside the house he felt someone grab him by the arm “Hey, the fuck is happening to you? You're not like that Hyung” it was Jhope who had followed him from the other room, clearly worried about him “Why are you so worked up? Are you... are you in love with her?”

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Hope”  he answered trying to hide any emotion on his face.

Indifference was his best weapon.

But not with Jhope.

The younger man's eyes softened a little as he understood his brother's expression “Please don't lie to me, Hyung. I've known you since we were kids and we've both taken a bullet for each other...but if I was kidnapped today you wouldn't lose your head. Not like this.”

It was true, he had taken a bullet for Jhope years ago in the middle of a shootout but he probably wouldn't have a catfight in the middle of the room with Namjoon to protect him.

Probably.

“Let me rephrase the question. Do you care that much?” Suga knew he couldn’t lie to Jhope, his younger brother knew him too well. He could see through his every facade. 

The thing is, he didn't know the answer himself.

Did he like having sex with you? Hell yes.

Did he like talking to you? Yes, he did.

Did he like the way you smiled at him right before you kissed him or the way you looked at him when he told you one of his twisted stories?

Like you didn’t judge him. 

Like you understood him. 

Like you didn't see him as a monster, but as a man.

Oh, shit.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙  Last night...

“Tell me the stupidest thing you've ever done to get someone’s attention” Suga had asked you the night before while you were both still lying naked on your bed.

You let out an amused laugh “You have probably already seen it on my body. It 's embarrassing.” 

Suga laughed with you, the sound was warm and his eyes were locked on yours “Nothing on your body is embarrassing to me.” he said and you rolled your eyes. 

“Be serious” 

“I am” he pushed a rouge strand of hair behind your ears and you decided to continue talking before you got distracted with other things” 

“When I was 16 I got a Star Wars tattoo because the boy I liked liked Star Wars. I wanted to surprise him the first time he saw me naked he would see the jedi symbol” now you both started laughing “Don't judge me, haven't you done something stupid to get someone's attention?”

“Maybe.” Was the only thing he answered. 

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Here 's the thing.

Suga had gone to a tattoo parlor this morning.

That was his unfinished business.

He was getting a fucking Star Wars tattoo on his ribs. 

Right where you had it. 

He hasn't even watched the movies. 

Not even the new ones.

Oh, he was down bad.  And now he had to go see his dead mother.

Scratch that.

He had to go see his un-dead mother.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Somewhere else in the house.

“The fuck do you mean you didn’t do this. This is not what we agreed on.” Namjoon's deep voice could barely be heard inside The Leader’s office. The tall man was standing in front of the window as he spoke into the phone “Then fucking find her Yong or I’ll make sure you are going to wish I kill you.” 

Yong.

The rumored dragon head of the triad.

The Second in command of the Seven Moons, had given the order to kidnap you. 

On his scheme to secure his place as the heir. 

He needed that for his plan to work. 

When you told him this morning that you were going to visit Grace and that you didn't need so many people following you around, the young gangster thought it was the perfect opportunity to put the next part of his plan into action.

But something went horribly wrong. 

And now he was the one who was betrayed.

“What have you done Namjoon-ah?” The voice of the eldest brother brought him out of his thoughts and he looked at him completely surprised  “Out of all the people I thought would betray our father, I would never think of you.”

“Hyung... “

“Just tell me that, whatever you're doing, you won't hurt Miss Nari, Joon. If there is someone innocent in all this, it's her.” Jin finished entering the office looking at his brother with disbelief. 

Seokjin looked at him with the eyes of an older brother. Hopefully waiting for all this to be a mistake. 

Because if Namjoon betrayed his father. 

He was a dead man walking.

But the elder also knew very well the resentment that Namjoon had grown up with. If someone has been hurt by Kim DoHan, it was his own son. Although he wanted to be wrong, Seokjin knew well what was in his younger brother's heart.

Revenge.

And that was not far from his own feelings.

“I came to think that all this love triangle, teenage fiction with Suga really meant that you liked the girl.” He poured himself a shot of the expensive whiskey that his father had in the office and let out a sigh before drinking it all at once “You will have to explain everything very well to understand you, Joon-ah”

Jin was the closest person to Namjoon in the clan, he saw him as an older brother. As a child he was the example of what he wanted to become one day, he hated to see that look of disappointment in his eyes “Hyung, you know perfectly well what my reasons are, I'm not going to stand by and wait for Kim DoHan to take away what is rightfully mine and hand it over on a silver platter to that asshole. She's just a means to an end.”

Before the younger one continued, Jin interrupted him, "If you want me to help you, you have to explain everything without lying to me this time.”

Kim Seokjin was the eldest of the seven moons.

And like all of them, he had lost much more than he had earned in all this time.

He would give all his money, cars, luxuries, fine clothes and contacts to have his family back with him.

But that was impossible.

And for the impossible, there is only revenge.

Break a promise, lose a finger.

If that really applied in the Seven Moon’s clan as it should, they would  have had all their hands and feet cut off.

Anger was an uncontrollable fire that burned everything in its path, it was useful, yes.

But for both clan leaders, retribution was much better and more satisfying.

A calm sea that was about to turn into a Tsunami.

A cold wave that will destroy everything on it's path.

Many games were played within the walls of the mansion of the 7 moons.

And your time was running out.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙  Hello!!! I'm sorry it took too long! I got sick and I was so tired I couldn't even read... much less write. BUT I'm catching up with all of you that are sending me messages, thank you you guys are so sweet!! 🥹 I mean, everytime someone says they're enjoying Hate! Makes me giggle like a teenager. Let me be honest, I'm enjoying writing this just as much. This chapter turned out to be one of my favs 👀 I wasn't like this on my original story and I am really liking how it is turning out.

Anyway, Hope you liked this one too!! Ps. I have Hate!11 Almost ready... what do you say double update tomorrow??

From the bottom of my chicken heart,

Thank you.

Love,

Ria 🌙

Tag List @drunkzseok @allamericanuniverse @catlove83 @baby-cherry @officialholyagua

If you want to join the tag list. You can coment this post or send me an ask!

[backgroundagent3]

hey!! hope you're doing well!!

i know you're reading funny story right now (ahhh) and probably have a long tbr so there's no pressure to read this but i just read the ex vows by jessica joyce and i think you might like it!!!

it reminded me a lot of happy place in that it focused on a found family of friends and how they changed over the years, and it was a second chance romance, and there's a wedding they're prepping for, but it also felt completely like its own new and different thing! i think it's one of the best non-emily henry romances i've ever read and it's the kind of romance that emily henry writes, where it's more emotional and focuses a lot on the character journey.

anyways, since happy place is your favorite emily henry i thought i'd let you know about it!!

Hii! I'm doing good! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I always struggle a lot finding new books to read. I've got a couple of books I'd like to read first, but it sounds so good, I'm so excited!! I just loved the whole vibe of Happy Place, and I love reading about found families, so I'll add it to my tbr.

I'm almost done with Funny Story and on the one hand I can't wait to finish it and tell you about it, but I also never want it to end!

Also I forgot to tell you I finally finished Daisy Jones & The Six!! It's the book that's taken me the longest to read, which is weird cause it's so good! I guess I was really busy but anyways. I loved the format so much, it's so unique, and it also makes it so easy to read! I have a really short attention span, so a book that's basically all dialogue is perfect for me. Some spoilers ahead!

The characters were so funny to me. I went in thinking it was gonna be a found family but then it turns out they all kind of hate each other. They're all so unique and fun to read about. Camila and Karen are so cool, and Warren's the comedic relief, and Pete's just some guy, and Billy's insufferable, and Daisy's also kind of insufferable, but I still loved her. I've seen a lot of people hating on Eddie, and I genuinely don't understand it?? Yes he had a short fuse, but also yes he was justified (at least in my opinion. I hated how Billy kept screwing him over).

I also loved the "where are they now bit", because here I am thinking Pete is dead throughout the whole book, and then it turns out he just had no interest in being part of the interview (which is very cool of him, I too would try to forget about my incredibly dysfunctional found family). The Julia plot twist was so cool, and I couldn't believe Camila was dead all along! I loved her so much. It was so satisfying seeing what their lives look like today, and every ending was very fitting for each character too.

Also loved reading about Karen and Graham, and even though I knew they wouldn't stay together, I was so invested, and I cried my eyes out at their ending. It's so heartbreaking, and you kind of see both POVs, which makes it even sadder.

I think it's just one of these books that leave you staring off into the distance for a while. Just seeing the lives they lead, and knowing that this is how rockstars' lives were actually like feels so special and sad and exciting, and I don't even know where I'm going with this but yeah. 10/10.

Thanks again for the recommendation, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this book! I'll try to finish Funny Story asap (I'm almost done, for real this time). <3

[ronearoundblindly]

Ro's Monthly Edit

April 7th, 2024 - May 5th, 2024

In case you missed any of the new posted content this month, here's a handy-dandy list with short excerpts and links to all of them!

Warning: while none of the snippets are themselves explicit, a good number of the writings this month were 18+ only. Please read all warnings at the beginning of each post, and minors, please stick with works included in the Light Masterlist.

*I've only added excerpts of the two dirty headcanon asks that were written in a narrative/story style. The rest are on the list linked below.

Various Dirty Headcanons (see full list) featuring characters: Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale, Jake Jensen, Lloyd Hansen, Johnny Storm, Ari Levinson, Jimmy Dobyne, and Curtis Everett

Big Girls Don't Cry, from It Had To Be You (explicit) CEO!Steve Rogers x assistant/co-CEO!Reader

Steve sees you shiver and scrambles to find the blanket, tucking it around you but not giving you space to hide your face. He cups your cheek so you can't cover your eyes either, thumb sweeping across the wet streaks left behind, asking if you're ready to talk to him about it, but you shake your head. "I love you," you do say. "I just hate you a little right now."

Dirty Water, from Sun, Salt, and Shield (explicit) Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader

Even in the very low light of damp room, he could see the lavender of your stare drop to his crotch. "You sing too?" Steve's an idiot. He didn't understand yet, so that dumbass actually began humming 'You Are My Sunshine' because nothing else occurred to him. Then he noticed your tail glowing beneath the scales. Then he realized you were pressing yourself to his legs. Aaaand then Steve Rogers looked down your body to witness his knee disappearing in a spongy spot where the armoring swelled apart. Oh god.

Untitled Ask, from Sun, Salt, and Shield Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader

The most heart-warming thing Steve teaches you is the hug. So simple. So reminiscent of your first meeting. If you lay your head on his chest, your face can remain underwater to breathe and hold onto Steve indefinitely, and he's tried. The longest he's gone is five straight hours of just you two holding each other, brushing his thumb over your cheek, giving you soft back rubs, getting gentle back scratches from you, and loving every second. Sometimes he just talks to you, even when he knows you can't understand most of the words. It's shocking how much gets across by emotion and intonation alone. You squeeze him a little tighter when he's telling you a sad story, and you rub your forehead into his sternum when he laughs at something.

Pirate & Pin Cushion, part two (see JJ Masterlist) Jake Jensen x gn!ops!Reader

“Don’t worry, PC, they got you the good stuff. Heavy duty meds. Nothing but the best.” “PC?” you croak. Jake smirks warily. “For Pin Cushion. Eh, I’m test-driving it,” he shrugs. “You smile pretty.” Pink floods Jake’s cheeks. “Thank you?” Using all your might and concentration, your hand moves to his. “You got thick arms.”

Pirate & Pin Cushion, finale (see JJ Masterlist) Jake Jensen x gn!ops!Reader

“I’D KNOWN YOU FOR TWO WEEKS,” you explode, bolting out of your own seat. “Yeah,” Jake squeaks, “I know.” “Two weeks, and then you taped me saying ‘I love you?’” “But, like—“ his usually deep timbre pitches super high “…did you?” “Why would you just sit on that, Jake?!” “You weren’t exactly sober.” He shrugs.

Lease, one-shot (see SR One-Shots Masterlist) Steve Rogers x best friend!roommate!reader

“You don’t have to put photos,” Sam assures, “and you can stick with your first name only. I swear to you, man, this’ll be good for you. Get you out there more. Help me out here, Tagalong!” He turns to you for support. To be fair, you did quite literally tag along with your parents for years to the VA, and it stuck. Why it sticks as a grown-ass adult? You’ll never know. You just don’t mind Sam Wilson saying it because he means well and never uses it in public. “Uh, nooooo.” Sam’s face falls. “What?” You look at Steve and grimace, clicking your tongue. “He’s not ready for that,” you conclude. Steve jumps out of the chair, arms wide with victory. “THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!”

No Promises, part one (explicit, darkfic) (see LH Masterlist) Lloyd Hansen x rival assassin!Reader

Easy pickings is what this guy is. All Lloyd has to do is make it look like the middle-aged, fake-tanned Pillsbury Doughboy down there had a heart attack…which might actually happen at the rate his target is shoveling antipasto down his gullet. Lloyd wipes his own mouth in disgust. The women have the right idea though, especially the one in the yellow bikini. His target looks like a desperate and lonely man, whether flashing around wealth or not, so leech away, ladies. Enjoy the free ride while it lasts.

No Promises, part two (explicit, darkfic) (see LH Masterlist) Lloyd Hansen x rival assassin!Reader

Lloyd keeps his steps forward into the room slow and casual, though his ire is obvious. He stops halfway across the carpet, unzips his leather jacket, and tosses it onto the foot of the bed. He seems surprised when you strut over without hesitation; he hasn’t handed over any weapons, but you haven’t asked for a reason. Lloyd’s reputation is cocky, commanding, and curious—in that order—so he won’t start speculating till it’s too late. Indeed, what possible harm could you inflict wearing this lil’ ol’ thing, huh?

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]