#this is my ranch hand job btw

[nobodybetterlookatme]

My boss said nobody is working tomorrow so she asked if I can come in anyway like 😭 I'm gonna die fr 😭

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Youngest Sibling Fainting

Requested: I would love either a preference of how each succession character would react to there S/O fainting around them or a baby roy sibling fic were she faints around some of their siblings ❤️Thank you ❤️❤️ - anon

A/N: I combined some of the ideas, I hope you don't mind!! I love this so much it's not even funny like they would all freak out internally I love it. I wanted to show different reasons for the fainting from each sibling, so that's why I chose the preference btw! I hope you like it my love! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Connor is so worried. You're sitting outside his ranch when you go pale. It's been pretty hot out, but today takes the cake. You excuse yourself, getting up to go to the bathroom, when you faint. Immediately he's calling out for Willa, his heart going into his stomach. He loves you more than life itself. He's scared beyond belief. You wake up to the two of them above you, each of them using a tone they'd use to hush a crying baby. What happened? What the hell were they doing? Slowly, they get you up, walking you inside, getting you water and an ice pack for your head. You're burning up. Connor can't help but apologize over and over again. Of course it's not his fault, of course, but he won't hear it. It was the sun you tell him, but he's not listening. It's his job as big brother to take care of you, to make sure you're okay. When you're not, and he doesn't notice, that's on him. Connor banishes you to the inside for the rest of your stay, asking you every fifteen minutes if you feel okay, etc. He won't have you fainting again, not on his watch.

Kendall had no idea what happened. It was a side effect of a medication you were taking and telling no one about. Ever since your father passed you hadn't been able to sleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw him, his body. You'd been on the plane, you'd been there through it all. You were dizzy, but only a little. You thought you could manage, that you were fine. You pull up in the car outside of Waystar, getting out, when you faint. Kendall runs around the car, calling your name, trying to shake you awake. You're only out for a minute, but it feels like an eternity. You're groggy, scared, unsure of what happened. He gets security to get you some water, holding on to you despite your fighting. You scare him so much he's gone pale. He doesn't stop asking if you're okay until you're seated in the office, someone checking you out, shining a light in your eyes. That's when you tell him about the pills, the not sleeping. He had no idea, though he knows he should have. He's your big brother, he should be protecting you from everything. He should have been there for you, before this. He makes a vow to himself that he'll be better, he has to be.

Shiv knew something was off. Ever since you'd been officially hired by your father at Waystar, you haven't been eating or sleeping or really leaving the office. You'd been tasked with a minefield and every wrong step would cost you your job. You were in the middle of presenting to your father, in front of everyone: Logan, Shiv, Gerri, Karl, Frank, Hugo, Kerry. You lose track of what you're saying in the middle of the sentence, so unlike yourself. That's when the dizziness hits, when you clutch the desk, when you drop. You bang your head pretty hard on the floor, though there isn't any outside damage. Shiv steps up right away, getting to the floor. Everyone is calling your name, questioning what to do, she's the only one who works. She fans you with her hand, calling your name. You're awake before you know it, terribly embarrassed, apologizing to your father. She doesn't let you get up though, not right away. She doesn't care how much work you have or what your father thinks, you hit your head pretty hard, she's surprised it's not cracked open. She needs to take care of you now, cursing herself she hadn't noticed earlier, hadn't stepped in and intervened earlier. You definitely feared losing your job now.

Roman had no idea how to help. You'd been there with him, before the funeral. Unlike his overly enthusiastic demeanor, you couldn't stop from freaking out. You were hyperventilating, feeling sick to your stomach, calling to him from the bathroom doorway that you didn't think you could go. That's when you faint, from getting all worked up. He drops his cards, running towards you. You look dead. Roman is shaking you, yelling your name, about to be sick himself when you open your eyes. He breathes the biggest sigh of relief, doing something so unlike himself: he hugs you. Hard. You have no memory of falling, of the last few minutes. He makes you stay there so he can call someone, anyone, unsure of what to do. Shiv gives him instructions. Through it all he cracks a few jokes, his heart still racing. You scared the shit out of him. He gets you water and gets you up slowly, bringing you to the couch. Shiv and Ken both on their way, coming to check on you, already in the same car. Awkwardly, he pats your leg, threatening to never scare him like that ever again.

[fanficfish]

Ttte ranch au but its mdoern

im bored and listened to too much of the Peoclaimers again. Oops.

Main Post

None of this is canon to my au btw its all for funsies. Basically this is if the au was set in a time with like. Computers and cellphones and whatever.

Donald and Douglas have had "I'm Gonna Walk 500 Miles" throb at them so many times by both the other ranch hands (back when they first joined officially) and by visitors who heard their stories (later on). They don't mind, since they get to sing a good excuse to break out into song.

Theyre also the ones who own a shelf full of records and CDs and have a Spotify playlist for everything. They have one made for each person on the ranch that they interact with on a semi regular basis.

duck is into those true crime podcasts. Oliver is mildly terrified for his well-being but can't say anything when he himself has spent hours consumed by the Lords of the Ring. Yes he can speak Elvish, no he doesn't want to talk about if he can remeciste half the books by memory or not.

Gordon FaceTimes his brother, and even some of his cousins, all the tiem. Scott always shows off wherever he is in the world and Gordon grumbles wheneve this phone dies halfway through a call.

James has a tiktok. Undoetunatley.

Edward watches so much Maaterpiece. He's also watched Once Upon a Time. He sometimes even manages to con the others into joining him, and both Gordon and Henry hate that they somewhat enjoyed some of the series. Edward noticed and now there's three people running around on the ranch arguing over Game of Thromes and Downtown Abbey. Good times.

Tony loves monopoly. Especially with Thomas and Percy, with Daisy and Mavis for spice.

thomas has a mild kbsession with chocolate, as does Percy. On Easter and Halloween they can be found logging out kn candy. Toby enables them.

james got a tindr account and made a fiver sometime not long after his TikTok blew up. He defintiely gets small modelling jobs in his spare time, and gets it as a good chance for free cosmetic items.

Duck watches a lot of The Food Network, and some he, Percy, and Thomas have food network marathons. Duck loves Maaterchef, Perfy likes the Great British Baking Show, and Thomas thinks Chooped or Who Beat Bobby Flay are the best. (Man how did I not absorb any info when I watched so much food network? Huh....wild..-)

Duncan is a gamer and he, Rusty. peter Sam, and Sir Handel have some royal Mario kart tournaments. Compete with saltiness and a lot of swearing from certain parties when Rusty beats them all. Fred videos it and laughs.

Among Us

Henry is low-key considering becoming a park ranger. He settles for junior ranger books and the ranch life.

Someone turned the barn into both a wifi hotspot and a Pokémon go stop and everyone is denying this. Especially Donald and Douglas.

Football night is game night on the ranch and nothings stopping it from Happening, ever. Gordon's express doesn't run starting from the last minutes of the pregame show to the next afternoon, mail is delivered by either anyone not watching (usually Emily, she isn't as interested just opinionated on the matter), or alternate transport. Bertie the bus driver has his happiest and fulelst load days on these weekends.

Sir Topham Hatt joins in on the Super Bowl weekend fun too btw. If the team you cheer for wins and it's one he's cheering for, you get free rounds (read: he'll buy you abStarbucks drink.)

edward, Toby, and Duke all invest too much in Starbucks. (Adaptation of @weirdowithaquill 's thing in the ERS with engines and teabags)

Bill and Ben have too many whopper cushions and other prank items in their arsenal.

I'll add more if I think of any.

[lexivass]

Omg, this was such a good chapter! I LOVED learning about Lloyd's past.

Loved the bittersweet tone in his scenes: his interactions with the animals (Lloyd being a farm boy, YES!). The scenes with the cows was very well written btw, I could see it clearly in my head! I didn't realize at first he was talking to a cow. I think it's really cute when people talk to animals like they're people 🥰. The info about him spending the entirety of High School on the same job, which implies he was a responsible and a good kid; Anderson and April not treating Lloyd like a monster despite his jail time, which, again, makes me thing he was a good kid. The bit about his sisters, omg! The memories, the fear of finding out the worse happened. I thought he was gonna meet them at the ranch when you first mentioned them, but this is even sadder. And the image of little Lloyd holding his baby sister for the first time, all hesitant and excited 😭😭😭 And putting on her saddle for her 😭😭😭😭😭 (I wanna die)

The thing about Lloyd sometimes not going home, and the thing with the coach was so good, but especially this line right here: "He hadn’t wanted anyone too close to him, not after realizing what he was capable of. If he was a monster then the safest place for April was far away from him. Hence, why she remained his first and last girlfriend."

When I realized April was his high school sweetheart I was so exited and curious!!! It was really nice the way they reunited, and despite the matter of the convo not being sooo pleasant at times, it was a very light interaction. No heartbreaks, no resentment. Just two people who could even be friends at the present time.

“I’m charging you for the delay. You should’ve shot this one, she’s going to kill somebody.” Bombastic side eye at this guy 😒

"(...) and the photo underneath showed a group of sweaty men in tight white pants and hulking shoulder pads. Lloyd was in the middle. He’d taken his helmet off, revealing a clean shaven jaw and hair three shades lighter than it was now, but there was no mistaking that bone structure. “Look at that man. He is fine,” He is more than fine! 🥴🥴

"(...) He’d handed over a small fortune to the county and fucking donated to an organization that owned more land than Bill Gates." LMAO

"The Sheriff looked to the passenger seat where the file of tax papers lay. “What’s in the folder?” Bitch, I don't think it's possible to fit a bag of cocaine in a paper/plastic folder.

“It’d be a shame if there were two Hansen funerals this week, Lloyd." You shut your whore mouth, frog!

Chapter XIII

The Princess & The Lawyer

Summary: A scare with her stalker causes Princess to take matters into her own hands. Meanwhile in Idaho, Lloyd finds himself between a rock and hard place.

Word Count: 8,058

Masterlist

Warnings: Description of a physical assault with a blunt weapon, stalking, harassment, dangerous encounter with a semi-wild animal, cowboy/ranch work, illegal drug trade, and corruption. Minor foul language. Only appropriate for 18+ readers. No minors. 

Author’s Note: I wish this installment hadn’t taken so long, but between going on interviews and then changing jobs, the past few months have been crazy. Thank you for waiting, encouraging me, and sticking with this story.

Chapter XIII 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You were counting down the seconds until you could end this call but Weston Tafferty was in prime form tonight. Even though you’d clocked out thirty minutes ago, he seemed to think your personal time was fair game for work-related conversation. He continued to fire off questions as you struggled to fill in your eyebrows and carry your end of the conversation. If he didn’t wrap this up soon, you’d still be on the phone with him during your belated family birthday dinner.

“Why wasn’t I cc’d on your emails to Detective Roth?” Weston asked. 

“I’m not using my work account for those messages. Roth set me up on their encrypted server.” 

“And this prevents you from emailing me how?”

“Wes, that information is too sensitive to share.” 

“Hmmm. I’ll give you a pass for now, but next time, make sure I’m in the loop. I also noticed you haven’t been using my spreadsheet system. If you don’t comply with departmental requirements, I’ll have to write you up.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Okay. Listen, I’m already off work and I have plans. Email me the details and I’ll take it up with HR.” 

A while ago this sort of micromanagement would’ve sent you through the roof. Tonight, other stresses were taking up too much mental space for you to care. And thanks to Weston’s call, you were running ten minutes late. You tapped your phone to check the time and realized ten minutes had become fifteen. Great. Your Mom would kill you if you were late to your own party. 

Another icon on the home screen caught your eye. There was no little red number hoovering in the corner of your message app to announce new texts. 

There had been no new messages for a week. 

Aiden had just… stopped. It should feel good, but your nervous system was screaming. An impending sense of doom settled over you and kept you trapped in the house all week. Your gut said this ceasefire was temporary and Aiden was biding his time. 

You’d filed a complaint with the police and he'd gone no contact. It was disorienting. Just when you started taking Aiden’s threats seriously, he stopped making them. Filling out the paperwork at Metro had stripped away the delusion you’d maintained last week. Writing the incidents in black and white on police forms laid waste to your sense of security. As the silence had stretched from one day into two, and then into four, fear sank deeper into your consciousness. 

Staying locked in Lloyd’s house forever wasn’t an option. If it were, you’d do just that. But your parents had already delayed your birthday celebration because of the Singapore trip, and backing out now would demand an explanation you weren’t prepared to give. 

Checking your reflection in the full-length mirror, you frowned. Thanks to Aiden’s threats about your apartment, you’d avoided going home, so the only dinner outfit you had was the dress Lloyd gave you in Singapore. Unfortunately, the skirt didn’t cover your knees. Self-defense lessons with Landon and Jake had left them covered in ugly bruises. 

There was no way Vivan wouldn’t notice and then your mother would make a fuss. You tried covering the marks with concealer. As you were applying setting powder, your phone buzzed. Hands full of makeup, you glanced at the screen.

A message read: Here. 

You were expecting Jake and tapped ‘K’ in reply.

There was a noise from below as the front door opened, then the scuff of sneakers on tile. You tossed the concealer into your makeup bag and rinsed your hands before heading downstairs. 

“Hey, Jake! Guess what? No new messages today. He’s gone from obsessed to silent. It’s crazy…” 

You turned the corner and froze. The visitor wasn’t Jake.

“Zach!”

He removed his sunglasses, hooking them on the top button of his shirt. 

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming by,” you said. 

“I texted. Jake’s working late. He asked me to check in, said there’d been trouble with raccoons knocking over garbage cans.” 

“Yes… Racoons.” 

“Everything okay?” Zach asked. 

“Absolutely.”

He cocked his head. “Yeah? Who were you talking about before?”

“Uh… I was scheduling a follow up with a witness. A witness in another case. He was responsive at first, like, obnoxiously, but suddenly… you know. He’s ghosting me.” 

“You seem nervous.”

You needed to lie - convincingly. 

“I’m fighting with Vivian, and my birthday dinner is tonight. It’s going to be interesting.” 

“That’s all?”

“Yeah. Just family drama.” 

“Hmmm. Jake’s been cracking his knuckles all week, which is never a good sign. I checked the location history on our work phones and saw Landon and Jake have been stopping by regularly. What gives, Y/N?” 

“That sounds like an invasion of privacy,” you said.

“They’re my phones. Speaking of… give me yours.” 

He held out his hand. 

“No way.” 

“Suppose the racoons aren’t just racoons, Princess. Give me your phone. I won’t check the location without cause.” 

You hesitated.

Zach wiggled his fingers. “Give it.” 

You handed him the phone. Zach tapped in commands as you collected your purse. By the time you’d checked your wallet and keys, he’d installed the app. 

“When did you hear the racoons?”

“Ten-thirty.”

“Did the floodlights come on?” Zach asked.

“Ah… I don’t remember.” 

You wished Jake had given you a heads up about the cover story. Zach passed you the phone. 

“I’ll take a look. Don’t let me keep you, I’ve got my own keys.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“Charlene, don’t be a bitch. Let’s talk about this before you do something crazy.”

Lloyd tried to make his tone as cajoling as possible. Facing down the bad-tempered female with death in her tawny eyes, he was willing to press any advantage he could, including charm.

The cow snorted and bobbed her head. He recognized that look and untethered his rope from the saddle horn in response. Through the act his eyes stayed locked on Charlene. She might be a Charolais heifer, but her temperament rivaled the most vicious Jersey bull. He uncoiled his rope and extended the loop to allow for her horns. While he understood his father had been sick, it was a crime not to have de-horned this monster when she was born. Her attitude was defense enough without having weapons attached to her head. 

He swung the lasso a few times, getting it into shape.

“Charlene” – so named because all Charolais heifers were Charlene in his book – pawed the ground. Getting her out of the pasture hadn’t been easy and herding her through the corrals was an event he’d rather forget. But he hadn’t expected the sight of the narrow alley into the loading chute would turn her into a psychotic demon. 

The rail-road tie fencing of the alley was six feet high and not much wider inside. Charlene had made up her mind about it in an instant, despite the fact she’d probably never seen such a thing before in her life. He’d found most of his father’s herd balked at the loading chute. Even in the pasture they acted half-wild, like they hadn’t seen a human in years. After that discovery he’d installed a series of gates in the alleyway for better control. The first was at the entrance and another positioned in the middle to prevent cows from backing up or creating a crowd-crush. The system worked, assuming the animal went in. 

Charlene bellowed and raised her head, puffing herself up. Jane, the quarter horse under him, shuffled back a step. He hoped she had nerves of steel because the last thing he wanted was to snap his neck getting bucked off and finding out what the business end of Charlene’s horns felt like was equally unappealing.

“Can you hurry it up? We’re behind schedule!”

The semi-truck driver called to him over the fence and Lloyd ignored him. He adjusted the rope and turned it so the loop’s bottom strand flipped over his wrist. When he raised his arm, muscle memory kicked in. Without a conscious thought his thumb clenched and his fingers curled, while his elbow and shoulder rolled in a familiar motion. He stood up and put most of his weight into the left stirrup, preparing for the throw. When Charlene’s muscles rippled, he angled the lasso down and threw the loop, relishing the speed as it flew over his hand. 

He was still focused on the mechanics of the action when Jane spooked. He’d leaned into the throw which placed his weight in the opposite direction of where she’d run. When she bucked again, he swore and lost a stirrup. Lloyd grabbed the saddle horn and fought to keep his seat. 

The lasso sailed over Charlene’s horns despite Jane’s fit. He drew it snug and anchored the rope to his saddle horn. When the little roan under him felt the rope pull, she spun around, leaning back on her haunches. Charlene tossed her head, fighting the restraint.

“Good girl, Jane. You’re a roping horse, aren't you?” 

The mare flicked her ears in appreciation. He laughed, surprised at his good fortune. His father hadn’t had many good traits but his taste in horses was impeccable. Lloyd twisted the rope back and forth. Charlene bellowed as it rubbed and moved forward. When he clicked his tongue, Jane backed into the narrow alleyway, dragging Charlene along. 

“Hey, kid!” Lloyd called to the driver’s assistant. 

“Yes, sir?”

“Shut that gate!” 

This was the farthest he’d gotten her. If he lost his grip on the rope, he’d rather chase her in the confinement of the alley than around the corral. When the gate clanged shut behind her, the heifer kicked at it and made contact, causing the panel to clang against the chain fastener.

Charlene lunged at Jane. 

The horse reared and Lloyd leaned into the movement just in time to avoid a tumble. Jane turned in mid-air and landed facing the gate that had just been shut. Lloyd yanked his rope over the saddle horn, and leapt off. He smacked Jane’s hind quarters, sending her galloping, and whistled at the heifer to keep her attention while the kid opened the gate for the horse. 

Whistling really pissed Charlene off. 

He turned and sprinted for the fence and felt her breath on his back pocket just as his foot hit the railing. He managed to climb halfway up before she slammed into his leg. Lloyd gasped at the burst of pain. When the pressure let up, he jumped down and rolled under the second gate. 

“Holy shit, you’ve got a death wish,” the driver said. “I’m not taking this one!” 

“She’ll calm down. She just doesn’t like trailers,” Lloyd said.

He had no idea if that was true, but he wasn’t about to keep her around to find out. 

Charlene paced back and forth, eyeing him on the other side of the gate, dragging the rope he’d dropped through the mud. Lloyd stood up. She shook her head and bellowed, making the rope whip around. By a stroke of good luck he caught the end and pulled it under the gate. 

As the alley narrowed, barricade posts set inside the high fence guided the cattle into the loading chute. He wound the rope around one and tugged, testing its strength. Charlene was big and this post wasn’t built to withstand that kind of weight. Lloyd wrapped the rope around again. 

“If this cow kills me, I’ll sue you,” the driver said from the other side of the fence.

“I don’t think you’re the one she’s looking to kill.”

The assistant climbed over from the corral and landed beside his boss. He looked at Lloyd. 

“You okay? Did she break anything?”

“No, I’m good. Do me a favor. Be ready to shut that trailer, fast.”

“What?” 

Lloyd unchained the gate and moved to the far side of the alley. He glanced at the kid.

“Ready?” 

The assistant ran to the trailer. Lloyd tightened the rope around the post, lashed it around his hand for good measure, and unlatched the second gate. He moved to the other side of the alley, parallel to the barrier post, and kicked the gate open, making it crash against the fence. This time the noise didn’t spook Charlene. She was too focused on Lloyd to care. 

He stood there and let her charge. The barrier post served as a pivot point, creating a zig-zag that shortened the rope. Charlene was just a few feet away when she ran out of length and was swung around by the force of her own momentum. She stumbled into the loading chute and Lloyd shoved the metal panel into place behind her. He climbed up the fence and pulled the rope off her horns. When it was off, he whistled. She bolted in the only direction she could, straight into the trailer. The kid slammed the door shut.

Jane was waiting by the gate, exactly where she’d run after he’d jumped off. Lloyd led her out of the corral around to the cattle truck. The assistant watched him secure his rope to the saddle with obvious interest. 

“Do you rodeo, sir?”

“Nope, never have.”

The kid’s expression was disbelieving. “Why?” 

“My father preferred to train and sell horses instead of competing with them.” 

“You could’ve made a killing at jackpot ropings!” 

Lloyd chuckled, amused by the kid’s enthusiasm. 

The driver scowled. “We’re behind schedule.”

“That’s the pleasure of working with animals,” Lloyd said.

“I’m charging you for the delay. You should’ve shot this one, she’s going to kill somebody.”  

“She’ll be fine once you unload her. Do you have everything you need?”

The kid answered. “We just need your signature.”

The driver fetched the paperwork while Lloyd fielded the kid’s roping questions. It surprised him to find he enjoyed giving the advice. 

When the livestock haulers were off, he walked Jane to the barn.

“You earned some oats for not breaking my neck,” Lloyd said.

Jane snorted and picked up her pace. 

In front of the barn, he noticed marks in the dirt. He looped Jane’s reins through a hitching ring without bothering to secure them and crouched to study the boot prints. The mixture of clay and loam soil held its shape well, and the sun had baked the dirt into a detailed cast. He’d found similar impressions on Tuesday morning which had motivated him to spend the next few days herding cattle on the outskirts of the ranch. 

The sneaky, unwanted visitor didn’t surprise him. 

Settling the ranch’s affairs was his duty. Dealing with his father’s illegal side business wasn’t. He’d be insane to get involved in a drug running operation and risk a second strike on his record. 

Lloyd studied the print. He knew it wasn’t from him. The first thing he’d done when he’d arrived was dig out his cowboy boots and start cleaning the barn. His boots were leather soled, designed to slide easily in and out of stirrups. They left a distinct heel and triangular forefoot print. The visitor’s boots had a tread pattern that was usually found on rubber soles. Whoever wore these shoes spent his days on city streets, not on a ranch. A sinking feeling settled in his chest. He had a strong hunch about the visitor’s identity, but hoped he was wrong. Lloyd dusted off his jeans, and went to untack Jane. He placed the saddle and blanket over the door of an empty stall. 

He glanced toward the tack room and his stomach clenched. Inhaling sharply, he turned away. 

After Jane was settled with a bale of grass hay and a bucket of oats, he walked to the small pen where a sick calf was bedded down in the straw. His eyes and nose were running with thick green mucus that left no doubt infection had taken hold. Lloyd checked his water. It hadn’t been touched. 

“Whatever bug you’re fighting might not kill you, but dehydration sure will.” 

The calf wheezed. 

Lloyd shook his head. “You need a vet.”

His ears twitched at the words, but he didn’t raise his head. After changing the calf’s water Lloyd went to the house and used the landline to call Anderson’s Feed Store. 

Henry Anderson picked up on the first ring. Of course, he not only knew the local vet, but promised he’d have them swing by around six. Then he started firing off questions with the zeal of a Spanish Inquisitor. How was college? Did he like Harvard, or did he wish he’d gone to Notre Dame? What had he enjoyed about England? How much did it rain over there? Did he know Coach Olsen had hung a framed picture of him receiving the Bushnell Cup in the gym lobby?

Lloyd sat down at the kitchen table and answered the inquiries. He noticed when Mr. Anderson skipped over questions about his post-college years and fast forwarded to current events. The effortless way he sidestepped the uncomfortable subject squeezed Lloyd’s heart. His unseemly history didn’t warrant such a tactful maneuver and because of it, Henry’s easy grace hit him like a three hundred pound linebacker. 

“I knew that determination would take you places. I haven’t employed another highschool kid for four years straight since you.” 

At that time, he’d done his best to stay out of Joe’s way which meant the long hours at Henry’s store were a perk. Later, their fully stocked breakroom fridge had allowed him to avoid going home for days at a time.

“How’s April doing?” 

He finally asked about the topic he’d been expecting would come up, but hadn’t. 

“She’s doing well. Married a boy from Portland and now we’ve got four grandchildren. The oldest is a senior this fall, and the middle one starts seventh grade. The second youngest is in kindergarten and the baby turns two in a month.”  

“Wow… that’s a range of ages.” 

“The baby is her Mama’s spitting image. It took four tries, but her genes finally hit copy paste.” 

Henry laughed at his own joke while Lloyd tried to imagine it.

“I’m sure you’ll catch up with her, but I’ve got to let you go. A load of grain just pulled in. The vet says they’ll be by after 5:30, probably closer to 6.” 

“Thanks, Henry.” 

He hung up and tried to wrap his head around the bombshell that April Anderson was married with four kids. He wondered why Henry had suggested they catch up. It seemed to imply she still lived in the area. Lloyd shook off the curiosity and grabbed the truck keys. He didn’t have time for a social call. Already, it was mid-afternoon and his errands in town couldn’t be put off any longer. 

Lloyd paused at the door and reached into the side table drawer. As expected, his father’s loaded .22 Sig Sauer was inside, encased in a leather shoulder holster that held two extra magazines in a pocket on the right strap. Being a felon, he wasn’t legally allowed to carry a gun, let alone a concealed gun. He thought of the boot prints and his suspicions about the night-time visitor, then removed his denim shirt and slipped on the holster. He covered it with the shirt and checked his reflection. The loose garment and compact weapon rendered the bulge under his arm almost invisible. He put on his sunglasses and grabbed a baseball cap from the shelf. 

It was just a quick trip to town. He’d be in and out before anyone knew he was there. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You tugged at your skirt, trying in vain to shield your bruised knees. Even with setting powder, the concealer hadn’t provided the coverage you’d hoped for. 

Vivian stirred her yogurt and watched you from the corner of her eye. Your birthday dinner had gone better than expected. For dessert you’d taken the family out for frozen yogurt and, at your Mom’s suggestion, walked down to the park so Alyssa could run around. She’d behaved well at the restaurant, but after two hours of sitting, she was getting antsy. 

With the efficiency of a general, Mom had taken charge of Sam and ordered Juan to mind Alyssa. She had sent you and Vivian off to ‘enjoy the peace and quiet,’ which was code for ‘go make up because I said so.’ From a shady bench you watched Mom encouraging Sam to walk through the splash pad spray. She was bent over, letting him hold both her hands for balance, uncaring of the mist soaking the lower half of her linen pants. Hector, Caleb, and Diego were kicking a soccer ball in the grass and Juan was hovering nearby, watching Alyssa play in the landscaping.

“What’s Alyssa doing?” you asked Vivian. 

“Playing with rocks. I don’t know why, but if you give her a rock, she’ll look at it for hours.” 

“Huh. Interesting.” 

“What happened to your knees?” Vivian asked. 

“I fell.”

“Were you drinking?”

“Vivian!” 

“What, you’re not uncoordinated. Were you drinking?”

“No!”

“Well, I have to ask. You’ve been acting super weird lately,” she said. 

That was true. You cringed under her scrutiny and decided to change the topic.

“I’m sorry, Vivian.” 

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“My reaction to your pregnancy was uncalled for. I overstepped, and I’m sorry.”

“I dropped it on you like a ton of bricks, so there’s that. You don’t handle change well and I should’ve known to break the news gently.” 

“Hey! I’m great with change.” 

“Absolutely, you just roll with the punches.” Vivian snickered, and dissolved into giggles. Then her gaze shifted to your frozen yogurt. “Can I have a bite?”

You held out the cup. She sampled it and made a face.

“Yuck.”  

“First you insult my adaptability, then my taste buds.”

“Speaking of taste, congratulations on the break up.”

It took you a second to realize what she meant. “When did I tell you about that?”

“You told Caleb, which is like telling the whole family.”

“Right.”

“Does your boss live in the Historic District of Alexandria? By those swanky townhouses?” Vivian asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

Her eyes gleamed. “Last night I checked your location on Life360. Guess where you were?”

Oh, crap…

“Why were you at your boss’s house at three a.m?”

“I’m house sitting,” you said. 

“For three weeks? Bullshit.”

“Damn it, I’m going to delete that stupid app. I thought I already did-”

“I stole your phone and reinstalled it. Before you ask, yes, I check your location every night. Are you dating your boss?”

“He’s not my boss. Technically, Weston Tafferty is my supervisor.” 

“Lloyd’s last name is Hansen, right?”

You frowned. “Did you Google him?”

“I really should apply to the FBI someday,” Vivian said, grinning. 

“Listen, you can’t believe everything on the internet…”

She was already opening a website on her phone.

“Have you seen this?” 

You braced yourself to explain Lloyd’s escapades, but it was an article from the Boston Globe sports section dated 26 October 2001. The headline read “Harvard Beats Penn, Cinches Ivy Title” and the photo underneath showed a group of sweaty men in tight white pants and hulking shoulder pads. Lloyd was in the middle. He’d taken his helmet off, revealing a clean shaven jaw and hair three shades lighter than it was now, but there was no mistaking that bone structure. 

“Look at that man. He is fine,” Vivian drew the middle vowel of ‘fine’ into a throaty purr. 

“It’s not like that, I’m-”

“You’re sleeping with him, just spill.” 

You groaned and covered your face.

“Y/N, please? It’s just us. And unlike Caleb, I can keep a secret. I can keep all the secrets, so tell me everything.” 

Your sister was absolutely reliable as a confidant, but your relationship with Lloyd was so new and undefined. Then again, maybe you could use some outside perspective on the matter. It would probably go a long way toward repairing the rift between you. 

“Okay. So, Aiden ended things-”

“Shut up! He broke up with you?!”

Her outrage was a delight. “Unfortunately. Lloyd took me out for dinner and you’ll never guess what happened then…”

By the time you left the park, dusk was falling. Talking to Vivian had settled your mind about the crazy twist your relationship with Lloyd had taken and confirmed that you were enjoying the new status quo, as tenuous as it might be. 

There was a flier stuck under your windshield wiper. Assuming it was an advertisement, you grabbed it, slid behind the wheel and turned on the air conditioner, then unfolded the page. Breath froze in your lungs and your heart dropped like a stone as blood drained from your face so fast your vision blurred.

It was a photo of you and Vivian on the park bench. You scanned it for clues, trying to decipher the angle it had been taken from and realized the photographer must have been on the other side of the splash pad from where you’d been sitting. A shiver ran down your spine. You scanned the street, with its long shadows and fluorescent lamps. Aiden could be anywhere. Fragments of the messages he’d sent flashed through your mind, raising goosebumps on your arms. Your hands clenched into fists. This was no way to live. You couldn’t tolerate it.

Trying to calm your racing heart, you took several deep breaths. After the pressure eased in your chest and you felt clear-headed again, you evaluated your options. There was the obvious choice - contact Detective Diskant at metro and give him the photo. But hadn’t you already done that? Aiden had responded by stepping up his game. Not only had he followed you, he’d followed your family and been bold enough to leave behind photographic evidence of the act.

The message was clear: I’m watching, and you can’t stop me.

Reporting him had made things worse. You threw the car into reverse; it was time to show Aiden who he was dealing with. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

His errands took longer than expected. 

The health district office was slammed, and he’d waited more than an hour for copies of his father’s death certificate. Paying property taxes in person was a bureaucratic nightmare, and so was settling the funeral home bill. His last stop was the priest, and he’d cut that visit short. To make sure they wouldn’t cancel Joe’s service because of his rudeness, he’d added a zero to his donation. With one eye on the clock, he made the final turn towards home. The clock ticked off another minute. Not wanting to miss the vet, he sped up.

Sirens wailed.

Lloyd hissed. He hadn’t risked speeding on the interstate after spotting the black and white vehicle tailing him, but he’d thought he had shaken them miles ago. Red and blue flashing lights followed him to the edge of the road as he pulled over. 

Great. What a fantastic ending to an afternoon filled with unpleasant errands. He’d handed over a small fortune to the county and fucking donated to an organization that owned more land than Bill Gates. Like an ice cream sundae wouldn’t be complete without the cherry on top, this miserable day couldn’t be finished with anything less than a traffic stop. 

He parked a few meters from the ranch’s front gate. The police truck didn’t pull in behind him; instead, it maneuvered around and turned into his driveway. It swung to the right and reversed into a parallel park, blocking the road. 

The side decal on the pickup read ‘SHERIFF’ in bold print. 

Lloyd watched the driver climb out. Even at a distance, he recognized the well-built man thanks to the distinctive outline of his Montana crease cowboy hat. This one was pecan colored instead of gray. It matched the tan uniform better than his old one, Lloyd noted. 

He rolled down the window and propped his elbow on the ledge to hide the holster under his arm.

“Evening, Sheriff. Was I speeding?”

“License and registration.”

Lloyd took his time finding the papers and handed them over, one by one.

“You’re looking well, Holbrook. It’s like you haven’t aged a day.”

The jab made the Sheriff’s upper lip curl, but he didn’t bat an eye as he examined the papers. Charles Holbrook was his senior by twelve years, though the way he wore those years made it look like twenty. His bulky aviators didn’t cover the wrinkles around his eyes and what Lloyd could see of his hair had gone gray. 

Holbrook tilted his hat back. 

“Where were you headed in such a hurry, son?”

“I’ve got a sick calf and the vet’s due any minute.” 

The Sheriff looked to the passenger seat where the file of tax papers lay.

“What’s in the folder?”

“If you’ve got a warrant you can look, but if not…” 

“Where are you coming back from?”

“Town.”

Holbrook ran his tongue around his teeth. “You sure about that? Just town? Nowhere else?”

It seemed his instinct about being followed had been correct. He wished he hadn’t slipped their tail earlier, because it had given them the chance to set up this speed trap. 

Lloyd shrugged. “I’m just trying to get home and take care of my animals, Sheriff.”

Knowing who he was dealing with helped Lloyd keep his temper in check. Thirty years ago, when he’d been a young deputy, Charles Holbrook had joined Joe’s drug running operation. Harsher sentencing guidelines made his father cautious enough to find an insurance policy and Holbrook fit the bill. He proved himself effective and ambitious, which was why Lloyd hadn’t been surprised to hear they’d had a falling out after he’d left for college. Rumor was, the Sheriff and Joe had spent the past twenty years at war, fighting over control of the intermountain west drug trade.

Holbrook grasped the butt of his gun. Lloyd tensed, then a blur of action drew his attention. The passenger door of the police truck flew open. A young man in a deputy’s uniform burst out with a pump action rifle.

Shit. 

The .22 under his arm wouldn’t be any defense if the deputy was a good shot and given that Holbrook was nobody’s fool, especially in these matters… carrying illegally had been a colossal mistake. The tiniest infarction would be an excuse to throw him in jail. Lloyd’s jaw clenched as he appreciated that in this scenario, Holbrook’s definition of “jail” would mean “the bottom of Redfish Lake.” 

“Watch your back, Lloyd. You know the rules in these parts.” 

Rage bubbled in his chest at the threat. His nostrils flared as he took a sharp breath, struggling against the urge to fight. The Sheriff smirked. 

“It’d be a shame if there were two Hansen funerals this week, Lloyd. Don’t do anything stupid. We need to have a serious chat about-”

Holbrook cut off at the sound of gravel crunching behind them. Lloyd saw another vehicle had pulled up behind his truck and scowled. He couldn’t decide if he should be amused or annoyed that he warranted backup. This was a run of the mill shake down, not… Damn it. His gaze swung to the rearview mirror. The white pickup had boxed him in. With the sheriff on his left, the deputy in front of him, and the newcomer behind, he was trapped. 

It was a straight shot through the windshield with the pump action rifle. Lloyd figured he could shoot Holbrook and take cover behind the engine block, but that left him vulnerable to the occupant of the white pickup. By the time he got off a shot he’d have six rounds in his back.

“Luke! Put that away!” 

Holbrook straightened up and faced the new arrival. 

Lloyd didn’t blink, eyes tracking the deputy’s every move, while he complied with the request. His attention stayed on the rifle until it was out of sight. Only then did his attention return to the Sheriff, who wore a welcoming smile for the approaching woman. She wore a navy baseball cap, plaid button down, and Levi’s tucked into cowboy boots. There was something familiar about her that tickled the edge of his memory. 

“Dr. Ward! Haven’t I told you it’s not wise to interrupt police business?” 

Holbrook’s tone was the same one used to discipline golden retrievers - exasperated, but indulgent. 

“Well, Sheriff, this time it’s you interrupting my business. I’ve got a sick calf to see and you’re blocking the road.” 

She nodded at the police truck, and when she turned her head, he spotted the auburn ponytail. Lloyd’s jaw dropped. 

“April? April Anderson?”

“It’s Ward now,” she said, grinning. “Dad mentioned you had an emergency, but this isn’t the kind of emergency I expected.”

“Nah, no emergency here. Sheriff Holbrook was letting me off with a warning.”

“That’s sweet of you, Sheriff. Do you mind clearing the road?” 

Holbrook’s lips twisted into a sour pucker, but he touched two fingers to the brim of his hat and nodded.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You sat in your car, gripping the steering wheel tight. 

Just being parked on this street felt dangerous. Despite the risk, anger was more powerful than logic in your current frame of mind. You hung onto that fury. If the past few days had taught you anything, it was that living in fear wasn’t sustainable. Rage felt like a suitable alternative - it was certainly more pleasant than terror. 

Thoughts of rage turned your mind to Lloyd. If he knew about your situation, he’d be apocalyptic. He’d protected you in Singapore with no consideration for himself and that recklessness worried you. If he flew off the handle there was a decent chance he’d end up facing a second round of felony charges. The prospect of Lloyd being sent to jail because of your mistakes was untenable. You needed to handle Aiden yourself. 

From the spot you’d parked, on the opposite side of the street to Aiden’s house, you had a perfect view into the living room. He was inside and based on what you’d seen in the last thirty minutes, he was alone. Taking a deep breath, you gathered your courage and imagined you were Lloyd. You thought of the irritable man who’d stormed into the paralegal office and invaded your life. The image filled your mind, thrilling and comforting in equal measure. You remembered the boisterous, almost wild energy that version of Lloyd had carried into a room.

Thinking of his confidence helped ease the tug of caution that insisted you’d be safer turning around and driving back to Virginia. You twisted your neck, warming up the muscles and taking deep, steady breaths. In less than a minute, your shoulders relaxed and your jaw unclenched as the last clouds of doubt rolled away. 

Moving with purpose, you stepped out of the car and stalked across the street toward the two-story brick colonial with an immaculate front lawn. Your heart was hammering, but the fear was buried under a thick fog of anger. You were going to demolish Aiden. 

You rang the bell and waited. The door opened and Aiden looked irritated to see you. The sight of him made your lip curl into a snarl.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you leave me alone?” 

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

You shoved the photo in his face. 

“This, Aiden. I’m talking about this!”

“Huh?”

“I found it on the hood of my car an hour ago. You took this picture and left it to threaten me.” 

“I didn’t do anything!” 

“Don’t lie.”

Aiden scoffed. “You’re crazy. It’s just a picture.” 

“You’re harassing me. You’ve been texting me, stalking my building, and trying to make me uncomfortable. Well, guess what? I’ve already forwarded the texts to your father and filed a complaint with the police. Even with all that, you don’t seem to be getting the message, so here it is. Stop. Bothering. Me.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, Aiden. If you make my life hell, I’ll be happy to return the favor - in triplicate.” 

“You’re a drama queen, you know that, right? I’m not the one who came to your house. You should be glad I’m giving you the time of day - it’s not like you’d do the same.”

“I know you sent the texts. You’re taking your problems out on me, and if you keep doing it, you’ll find out that I punch back. Stay away from me. Stay away from my family. This is the last time I’ll say it - next time you find out I mean what I say.” 

He crossed his arms, straightening. “You should watch your mouth, bitch.” 

“And you should watch your back. You’re going to leave me alone. If you don't, I’ll put you in a world of hurt.”

“See if I care.” 

“You should. Because if you don’t, I’ll give you a reason to.” 

“Whatever.” 

You raised your chin.

“I don’t need you to believe me. Because whether or not you think I’m serious, I am. This is me giving you the chance to turn things around. Go very far away from me and stay there. If you don’t, you have no one to blame but yourself for what happens next.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The calf ended up with a prescription for long-term antibiotics, and he persuaded April to have a beer with him. He couldn’t help but stare as they sat on opposite sides of the small kitchen table. She broke the silence first. 

“Nice mustache. It ages you, but somehow it suits you.”

“Thanks. I can’t believe you’re still here. I figured some city boy would sweep you off your feet and take you to Seattle or Boise.” 

“He did, but I took him home instead of the other way around.”

“I guess your taste in men improved after high school,” Lloyd teased. 

“Given my starting point, it couldn’t have gotten much worse.” 

He laughed. “After Tyler, I was a step up.” 

Tyler Claffey had been April’s first boyfriend. He played defensive tackle to Lloyd’s quarterback and they’d been on the same team since fifth grade. Their hatred of each other ran deeper than the traditional offense vs. defense rivalry every football team suffered. Tyler still held the distinction of being the most insecure person Lloyd had ever known. For his part, Tyler hated Lloyd’s sullen disposition, lack of regard for other people’s opinions, and most of all, for being a superior athlete. 

When he was caught cheating on her the week before junior prom, April had asked Lloyd to be her date. He knew the goal was to twist the knife in Tyler’s side and had accepted the invitation. They went to prom together and ended up dating until graduation. 

“Tell me about your husband,” Lloyd said. 

“Michael. We met in college, but didn’t date until after. He’s a lawyer.” 

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” 

“Is he tall, dark, and handsome… with a mustache?”

April snorted. “No, no, yes, and absolutely not. I know you aren’t married, because no woman would tolerate that facial hair. You should grow a beard.” 

“My girlfriend doesn’t mind it.”

Lloyd felt a ripple of concern at how naturally the word ‘girlfriend’ rolled off his tongue, but pushed it aside. He considered April - the first and last woman to hold that title - and shook his head. 

“I can’t believe you stuck around.” 

“I didn’t hate it here, you did.”

“I had to get away. You know why.” 

April nodded. She picked at the label on her drink and lowered her voice.

“How did you feel, when they told you he was dead?”

“Shocked, disbelieving. More of the latter, to be honest. The hospital called and explained but I just… I thought he couldn’t die.”

“Are you okay, being back? Like, here, in this house?” 

Lloyd shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“Have you been in touch with your family?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m it.”

April raised an eyebrow. “Your sisters?”

He looked away. 

“You never searched for them? After all these years? I…” she broke off. “Lloyd? Did something happen to them?” 

“I can’t say for sure. I didn’t look them up because I knew what I’d find.” 

“What do you mean?”

“My mother couldn’t take care of them. Even back then, I knew.” 

“She left the summer before fifth grade, right?”

“Yeah. My father was away, it was just me and the girls. The house was peaceful. That’s what I remember most about those last days.” 

April’s brow creased in confusion, so he explained.

“She didn’t have any of her normal outbursts, episodes, whatever you’d call them. Looking back, she must have started on some kind of antipsychotic meds. A few days before Dad returned I woke up to an empty house.” 

He looked out at the barnyard and saw it as it was thirty years ago. Almost exactly thirty years to the day, he realized with a jolt. 

“Her car was gone. Josephine’s closet was empty and so was Ingrid’s. Only some of my mother’s things had been taken, but when I saw the suitcases were missing, I knew they weren’t coming back.”

“I’m sorry,” April whispered. 

She reached across the table and covered his hand. Lloyd folded his fingers around hers.

“I hate remembering. I can’t go through the barn without thinking of Ingrid and that evil little Shetland who bit everyone. I taught her to saddle him, but I think I put on his bridle every time she wanted to ride.”

“Clever girl.”

Lloyd smiled. “She’d hunt for arrowheads with me. Josie used to go with us because if we didn’t take her, she’d cry and that would set Mom off. She liked to collect flowers and press them in parchment. The first night here, I went into her room and…” 

Emotion choked him. A piece of wax paper had fallen from the pages of one of her story books. It was a bright, cheerful Black-eyed Susan. He’d stood there staring at it, as if it were a rattlesnake. 

Lloyd shuddered. 

“My mother may as well have driven them off a cliff, instead of off the ranch. I never looked them up… not knowing is easier.” 

April squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“When I was in prison, the psychiatrist asked me if I’d ever felt love. The question made me furious. I couldn’t believe he’d think me incapable of such a basic emotion, but then I couldn’t remember a time when I’d felt love - no offense -”

“None taken.”

“I knew my reaction was genuine, but until Monday night when I saw the rocking chair, I couldn’t figure out where it had come from.” 

Their eyes drifted to the pine rocker by the front window.

“That’s where they let me hold Josie for the first time.”

April squeezed his hand. “Is your girlfriend coming for the funeral? I’d love to meet her.”

“No. I didn’t want her to see me like this.”

Lloyd turned his hand, bringing hers to rest on top, and studied the impressive diamond ring on her left finger. 

“Nice rock.”

“It spends most of its time on a chain around my neck. That’s what he gets for marrying a vet.” 

He used his thumb to turn the ring left and right, admiring the way it caught the light.

“I knew we wouldn’t last, but I loved you, April.”

“Not really. We were good friends, Lloyd. But it didn’t run deeper than that on either side and you were turning bitter.” 

She paused, eyeing him curiously as her tongue traced the edge of her upper teeth.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What happened between you and Coach Olsen?”

Lloyd slipped his hand free at the naming of his former football coach. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s been decades and I’m still curious.”

“Olsen took bribes. USC paid him to make sure I didn’t sign with Harvard.”

“But you liked Harvard the most.” 

“He was stringing them along, making it sound like I hadn’t decided so the money kept flowing. Obviously, that’s not kosher with the NCAA.” 

“He put your scholarship at risk. I understand why you cut ties.”

His lips twisted. 

“It was more than that. I got a call from USC in July, which was odd because I’d already committed to Harvard. Their rep let it slip about Olsen. I was livid. Mind meltingly furious, unlike anything I’d felt before.” 

The memory made his stomach pitch. Something visceral had come over him and he’d felt his mind loosen, allowing the monster to emerge. The dam holding back years of rage burst and nothing could stem the tide.

“I’d worried I was like Joe, but until that night I wasn’t sure. Whatever had held me in check snapped. I don’t remember the drive into town, just walking across the field and seeing lights on in the shed. Olsen was in the office, working. The football shed wasn’t air conditioned back then, so the garage door was open.” 

The scene played behind his eyes, undistorted by time. He saw the white cinder block shed and felt the thrill of finding his prey. Later, that feeling had become an addiction, better than cocaine and longer lasting than ecstasy. 

“I snuck under the garage door into the storage area. They’d brought in the baseball equipment and there was a rack of bats beside the door. On my way through, I grabbed one. He turned when I stepped into the office and started to speak. I swung for his head but he ducked, so I only clipped him. He rushed me, and I struck his right knee, got him on the ground, and then…”

He remembered it in flashes. The sound of bones crunching, screams, then agonized cries. 

When he’d snapped out of the trance there were blisters on his palms.

“I thought I’d killed him. That’s why I left for college a month early. When the team went to state a few years later, I read he was still their coach. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather.”

April stared at him. “That was you?! We thought there was a psychopath running around town!”

“There was.”

“I don’t agree with everything you did, but your reaction was understandable.” 

“The only thing I regret is not saying goodbye to you.”

“I figured you wanted a clean break. Once I accepted it was what you needed, I got over it. But I worried about you. I figured we’d stay in touch, you know?” 

He hadn’t wanted anyone too close to him, not after realizing what he was capable of. If he was a monster then the safest place for April was far away from him. Hence, why she remained his first and last girlfriend. 

“Speaking of the past…” April frowned. “Have you spoken to Elliot lately?”

Lloyd’s eyebrows rose. “Elliot? No.” 

The mention of his cousin surprised him. 

Elliot Hansen was the illegitimate son of his father’s sister and some drug dealer from Boise. The drug dealer had vanished upon learning of the pregnancy and two years later, his aunt committed suicide, orphaning her young son. Joe refused to acknowledge him and Elliot became a ward of the state. Like his parents, Elliot got hooked on drugs early and by the end of highschool, he’d been a certified junkie.

“He went to rehab and was working down in Nevada. When your father took a turn for the worse, he came back to help. For the past few months he’s been on Sheriff Holbrook’s list.” 

“Is he on drugs again?” 

“No. I knew Holbrook was shaking you down when I saw the traffic stop because he did the same thing to Elliot.”

“Which earned you a warning to stay out of police business,” Lloyd said. 

“I pay my taxes, I have the right to be nosy.” 

“Damn it, April. I told you Holbrook was dangerous. Why would you put yourself in his line of fire for that lowlife?” 

Her glare was withering. “He kicked meth without anyone’s help and re-built his life from nothing. Don’t call him names.” 

“Fine.” Lloyd held up his hands. “No name calling. Please, continue.”

“I caught the end of their argument. There was something about the ranch and ‘mercury’ but I couldn’t hear anything more.” 

“Did you ask Elliot about it?” 

She shook her head. “No, because I haven’t seen Elliot in two weeks. I’m worried about him, Lloyd. I think something’s happened to him.” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next - Part XIV

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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[palmtreepalmtree]

Good afternoon, friends and enemies. Pull up a seat, because as promised, I'm about to share another Christmas Edition of...

The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™

Today we have a double-header in which I will discuss A California Christmas as well as its sequel, A California Christmas: City Lights.

This pair of films stars Josh and Lauren Swickard, the real-life married couple who you may remember from my review of Roped. Is that playing a role in the quality of film here? Well, we'll get to that.

On re-watch, I realized pretty quickly why I did not review the first A California Christmas movie last year -- it's got a pretty significant cancer storyline, which for reasons you may or may not know, is not my favorite (fuck cancer forever lalalalala!).

Anyhow, let me hit you with the premise here: playboy and fuckabout Joseph Van Aston is threatened by his mother, the CEO of the family conglomerate, that if he doesn't get serious in the business, she is going to fire him and cut him off. She's giving him one last chance - and one task to accomplish: get the Brenet family to sell their small dairy farm so that the company can build a warehouse on the spot. Accepting the assignment, off Joseph goes to convince the family daughter Callie Brenet to sign the papers and sell their farm. Merry fucking Christmas to them, I guess.

Callie, meanwhile, is deep in the shit. I mean, she is DEEP IN THE SHIT. She is caring for her mother who is terminally ill with cancer, drowning in her mom's medical debt, taking care of her younger sister, and running the dairy farm all by herself. On top of that, my girl lost her dad and her fiancé in a sudden truck accident some number of years before. To barely stay afloat, she works the farm all day, then goes to her second job at night as a bartender. Callie is fucking alone.

Remember when I was talking about how Snowbound for Christmas had nothing at stake - no conflict, and nothing anyone seemed to be worried about? Remember that? Well this movie is the fucking opposite of that. Callie has a whole damn universe of grief on her shoulders. I mean... this movie is fucking SAD.

And into that comes Joseph. Instead of taking the direct approach, he somehow gets mistaken for the new ranch hand, "Manny." And he just goes along with it. He moves onto the farm, pretending to be Manny the Farmhand, looking for the right opening to ask Callie to sell the farm......?

Joseph's end game is super unclear from the get go, but it's a sound movie premise to throw Callie and Joseph together, and to get this romance going. And honestly, this whole depressing movie would be completely unbearable to watch if it weren't for the spare amount of levity brought by...

THE SIDEKICKS

The saving grace of this movie -- what takes it from being a weepy depressing melodrama to something even remotely watchable -- is the comic relief storyline of Leo & Manny. While Joseph is pretending to be Manny the Farmhand, his manservant/driver named Leo has to distract the real Manny from ever arriving.

The two of them (Leo on the left, Manny on the right) end up holing up in an Air BnB while Leo samples the region's wines and Manny plays video games and provides Joseph with phone advice about how to run a dairy farm.

Manny, played by David Del Rio, has all the talent here. He is legitimately fucking funny. He takes a pretty weak role and just eats it up, breathing some life into it and into the whole movie and winds up keeping the whole thing from drowning in tears.

He is really the only reason to watch this movie. His story arc is funny, and I enjoyed every second he was on screen (especially his cow-patterned pajamas).

MORE MANNY, PLEASE.

The End of Part One

Listen. This movie is alright. Josh and Lauren have a decent chemistry together and the director definitely takes advantage of that. On the sliding scale of these kinds of movies, the writing on this one is even okay (btw Lauren wrote it). It's got stakes - the stakes ramp up - it's got emotion. Someone definitely made a movie here. I mean, it's a sad maudlin little movie with a slapdash happy ending stuck on it (how in the world does Joseph get forgiven here!?!?!?), but it's a movie nonetheless.

However, in the end, this movie is just not a good holiday romance. You'll be watching this movie and thinking, WHERE THE FUCK IS CHRISTMAS? There's no fucking snow. There's like ten seconds of Christmas lights, and the only Christmas song you'll hear comes at the end. If you want a Christmas movie, this one is not it.

So when it came to watching the next one...

I said to myself, IF MANNY IS NOT IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE THEN I AM NOT WATCHING IT.

[berniecranes]

Holy Shit.. it is heartbreaking knowing most people don't know my three main ocs bc I worked on them a lot more a couple years ago.....

Cassidy Harris, Abel Love and Ángel Pérez are all my cowboy characters. Cassidy is a very monotone young man that lives in the city. He lost his family at a young age and was taken in by another family. Who loves him dearly. But he always struggles with the idea of home. He is very to himself and often times will let the world pass by him. But he is no push over. He meets his boyfriend Abel. And their main story will end with them deciding to leave it all behind and live on a small ranch. Just the two of them away from the world. Cassidy is Mexican, his parents moved from Mexico to the States. Cassidy ⬇️

Abel, has always lived on the farm and has a natural calling for it. He has a heart of gold and you would just melt if you met him irl. He is sweet, caring but not a push over. Though, he is not a leader, but he certainly will get things done. And he wishes to have a family and a farm. He loves being in the country and wouldn't have it any other way. Abel is a young black man, he's lived in the states his whole life. Both him and Cass are gay btw. That is very important to their story. Abel ⬇️

Ángel is Abel's childhood best friend. He is an overall goofball that is trying to figure out where he fits in the world. He is a young bi transman. He works as a farm hand and kind of has a thing with the farmer's daughter. He is the absolute best older brother to his three younger sisters. And he will always try to be light hearted and make the most of situations he's given. Ángel is half Mexican, half white. He has lived in the states his whole life. Ángel ⬇️ (attached two bc his face looks wack in the b&w one and whereas the colored wip is still old. It's more recent than that one)

These three are my everything, but ...did you know period pieces are so fcking hard to write for lmfao??? Even when you research a bunch and love the media of that time that you want to reproduce???

My two other ocs are modern.

Julia Cruz is another character I just adore. Her story is set in the early 2000s. She is from a major city, in her early 20s and trying to live out her wild and fun life. Her father expects her to only focus on her college classes, do well and succeed. She knows she will one day, but she wants to be young and experience the world that she knows can be more than the small neighborhood she grew up in. As she meets friends from the club and main areas of the big city she struggles with two sides of herself she doesn't really realizes she has. Her best friend AJ (Angelica Jimenez) represents the comfort and security of home. And why they're so close to one another. They're so safe when they're with one another. Julia is bi. And she's mixed. Half mexican Half white. Yes there is a theme here. AJ is a lesbian and also you guessed it, shes Mexican too! :) Julessss ⬇️

Now Richard....Richard Thomas is well..not a great man. He is in his mid 30's (this may change) (and oh. All my other characters are in their early 20s btw forgot if i mentioned that) and is a very successful businessman. He runs his own business and he's very good at that. He has a young daughter, Emily, and a wife named Kathleen. As work keeps progressing upwards Richard decides to expand and bring his work to another major city. But, his wife and daughter cannot follow. Emily struggles with feeling comfortable at school, and they did not want to pull her from her private school she is currently enrolled in. And Kathy has her own job, in which she cannot get up & abandon it. So Richard goes by himself. And instead of sulking and missing his family. He decides there is fun to be had. So that's what he does. He acts like a rich bachelor and flaunts around his money. Getting any lady he wants, and when he's feeling wild maybe even a man. He meets a guy, and they sort of begin having a relationship.....Richard is mean, serious and stern. He is not a good man, and he is your typical rich white preppy guy. He goes to the golf course and country club on the weekends kinda guy. Richie ⬇️, (actually just started this drawing this week lol)

[squishyproductions]

One of the worst weeks of my life

So I quit my rest stop job due to sexual harassment and the ignoring of said harassment by the management. Btw, 5 months later, Unemployment ruled that I don't qualify for unemployment. It's a good thing I never filed any claims or id need to pay that money back. Apparently 8 years of sexual harassment, from invitations to fuck to being followed home, is no excuse to get unemployment.

Started working at the Lion's Den sex toy shop only to find out my flat feet wont let me stand for 9 hours multiple days in the row. Started getting written up for sitting down because of the pain I was in. So I quit. It was ok. I had a second job. You are now caught up with everything before this week.

I had been working at the horse ranch with my GF and I loved the job. I loved working with horses, I loved the people who ran the place. Hands down, best job I've ever had.

The problem is that I'm 40 and the job is unending lifting of heavy shit. 4 gallon buckets of water, heavy metal gates, wheel barrows full of horse shit and saw dust.

I lost a ton of weight, 30 pounds in three months, and gained oodles of muscle mass. Everything was great. Until my shoulder gave out. I should have stopped weeks ago. My shoulders let me know something was wrong. But we needed the money and they needed the workers. My right shoulder is a mess now and my left one isnt great either. It’s hot, tender to the touch, and falls out slightly if it’s not supported and I’m not consciously clenching the muscles.  I can't work at the ranch like this. I can't work anywhere like this.

I had applied for welfare but i dont have the paperwork done and i desperately need to see a doctor. i called them twice Friday about it with no response.

Oh, also my break line burst. So i have no income, no car, and a shoulder that desperately needs medical attention that i cannot afford.

[blackmissfrizzle]

City Boy and His Country Girl

Characters: Erik x black!reader

Summary: Erik promises to help the reader navigate New York.

Request: "Country Girl goes to New York and meets a tough guy New Yorker who teaches her the ropes and then they get together"

Requested by @nervouspetsonanime​

With a lot on your mind, you set your purse down on the table and went to refill your drink. The stress of the workday was getting to you and you were only midway through it. Before you went back to work you had to figure out a way to deal with some of your shady coworkers.

Making your way back to your booth, you saw two men standing there arguing. You were hesitant to go back and was about to find a new seat to avoid the scene but then you remembered your purse.

“Man, I’m telling you put that shit back or we gonna have a real problem here,” you heard, getting closer to the two.

“How about you mind your business?” The other guy asked, moving his arm behind his back. That’s when you noticed he had your purse in his hand. The dread head was trying to get this thief to put down your purse.

Noticing movement near him, your savior turned to you. Pointing to your bag, he asked, “Aye, lil mama is that your bag?”

Your mind short-circuited for a moment because of this man. He was so damn sexy. Tall, dark, and thick just like you liked em. He sorta reminded you of the guys back home except for the Oakland accent.

Finally, gathering your bearings you answered the man. “Yeah, that’s my bag and I don’t know why it’s in his hand.”

The Good Samaritan stared down the potential thief and pulled up his shirt to reveal his gun and v-cut you couldn’t keep your eyes off of. “You got 10 seconds to figure out if that purse is worth a hospital bill.”

Dropping your purse like a hot potato, the thief handed you your purse and ran out the restaurant. He wasn’t as tough as he thought.

“Next time don’t be leaving your shit hanging around.” The asshole told you before leaving.

Even though he was a little rude, you didn’t want him to leave. To stop him, you tried wrapping your hand around his bicep, but you were only able to cuff half of it. “At least let me buy you lunch as a thank you.”

He looked down at your hand and back to you. Quickly, you removed it, sensing he didn’t like being touched. “All right lil mama.”

His big body slid into the booth and you followed his suit. Stretching his hand across he introduced himself. “I’m Erik.”

“Y/N.” You took his hand to shake and his grip was tight, and you were thoroughly impressed. Your daddy always said you could tell a lot about a man by his handshake, especially when it was with a woman. A firm handshake with a woman said the man respected you, saw you as his equal.

“So, Y/N why you leaving your stuff where just any ole body can steal yo shit?” Erik took a sip of his drink and eyed you curiously.

Erik’s gaze made you hot and nervous. You had to train your eyes to look anywhere but him just to speak. “Well it wouldn’t have happened back at home and also my mind was elsewhere.”

The waitress brought both of your meals and y’all laughed at the identical plates, bacon cheeseburger with a side of onion rings.

“Ok then, what had you all messed up that almost got you robbed?”

Deciding you’ll probably never see this man again, you told Erik your office drama. “Basically, I’m the boss’ new favorite and my coworkers can’t stand it. God, sometimes I wish Tony Stark never found out about me.”

“Word? You work for Stark?” Erik raised an eyebrow, beginning to become more intrigued with this southern belle. He met Stark plenty of times before and respected his work as a scientist but couldn’t understand how someone could put up with him for hours on end.

“Yes sir,” you replied, making Erik shift in his seat at the mention of you using such a formal name for him. “My mentor who’s an old college buddy of Mr. Stark’s, sent my business management assignment to him and then the next morning, Mr. Stark was on my daddy’s porch offering me a job.”

Erik chuckled and stretched his fist out for you to dap him. He was proud of you, a black woman seemingly from a small town, working for the most renowned business mogul. “Oh, shit! That’s how you do it. Lemme guess your co-workers lack melanin?”

“Yes! And I really tried to work with them, but they hate my guts for whatever reason. But they have no problem taking credit for my ideas.” That’s why you were in a frenzy now. Cody (which btw was such a typical douchebag white boy name) pitched your idea of throwing a big gala to impress a fellow businessman for a potential partnership as his own to Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts. Then guess who he expected to do all the work? You, of course!

Finally getting the chance to vent felt good, so poor Erik had to hear all your frustrations. “And then don’t get me started on this stupid city. First off, people are rude! No one knows how to say excuse me and when I call someone ma’am, they look at me like I just called her a bitch. Second, rent is expensive! Thank you to sweet baby Jesus, for Mr. Stark hiring me, because I wouldn’t be able to afford living here. Do you know what kind of house I could buy back in Texas?”

Erik was amused at your rant. He enjoyed seeing you get all this passionate despite only knowing you for half an hour, so he decided to entertain you. “No, what kind?”

“A big ass house! Probably a ranch with all the damn animals already on it. And then this city has no good bbq. How is a girl suppose to live without some brisket!?”

Done with your rant, you took a bite on your burger and realized you just dumped your whole life story on a man who was basically a stranger. “I’m sorry, you had to hear all that. It just whenever I vent to my friends back home, they tell me I’m not appreciating this opportunity and I can’t tell my mama and daddy, because I’m paying their bills and I don’t want them to feel guilty.” Catching yourself offering up more information, you slapped your forehead. “Oh, there I go again oversharing. I’m sorry.”

Erik somewhat understood your situation. Adjusting to life in Wakanda was a culture shock and he had to figure out how to navigate in his father’s homeland. Grabbing the hand that hit your forehead, Erik massage it, focusing on the knuckles and the spaces between the fingers. “Nah, you good ma. But I do know what you need to do.”

“And what’s that,” you asked, leaned back amused.

“You need to toughen up, Texas.” Erik advised you.

Leaning on your elbows, you teased Erik with your own nickname. “Oh, really now? And how’s that gonna happen, Oakland?”

Immediately on the defense, scared that you were someone from his past, Erik asked, “How do you know I’m from Oakland?”

“Calm down, cowboy,” you patted his forearm to soothe him. “Your accent is a dead giveaway. You sound just like Marshawn Lynch.”

Erik kissed his teeth and crossed his arms. He liked Marshawn, even respected him, but when you mentioned him with practically heart eyes Marshawn became public enemy number 1. “That nigga a’ight. Anyway, imma toughen you up. Teach you how to survive these mean streets of New York and how to deal with these colonizers.”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you repeated Erik, “Colonizers?”

“White people,” he said as if he should understand his lingo.

“Oh okay, what a weird insult, but when do we start?” you asked anxiously, you were excited at the chance to spend more time with this diamond in the rough man.

“This weekend?” Erik tried his best to keep his cool, but he was so excited to see this country girl as soon as possible. He would’ve asked for tomorrow, but he didn’t want to come off clingy and he had too much work to do at the Outreach and Y/N would’ve been a major distraction.

Making yourself be still and hide your excitement, you replied, “That’s perfect. I had no plans but to do my laundry and catch up on some Netflix.”

Erik bit back a smile. “Cool. I gotta get back to the office, lil mama. Give me your number and you’ll hear from me very soon.”

You and Erik exchanged numbers. While you were putting your number in his phone, you didn’t notice Erik slyly pay the waitress for your meals. When you both were done exchanging numbers, you said your goodbyes and then Erik left, making you already crave his presence.

“Excuse me, miss, can I get the check?” You flagged down the waitress, digging into your purse for your wallet.

“Oh, your friend paid for it already. He said you had enough troubles today and that you didn’t need to worry about paying for him.” The young lady walked away and started cleaning your table as you stood there dumbfounded. Erik was a man full of surprises and you couldn’t wait to find out more.

Tagging: @twistedcharismaaa @marvelmaree @ladydragonpurplefire @l-auteuse @thehomierobbstark @titty-teetee @nerd-lovely @nervouspetsonanime @soufcakmistress @chaneajoyyy

[1zashreena1]

Quarantine- New Ranch Flavor! -5

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess is stranded in NYC with her Murder Panther for the duration of the quarantine. As a high risk patient she has no choice but to isolate as much as possible. Simulated domesticity ensues. Princess texts a running commentary to her bff Lisa.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

No actual smut, nasty ass snack foods, plus size insecurity, unprotected sex, feels are icky, plus size woman+fit man, bad boys with too much money and not enough impulse control, secondary OCs, excessive swearing (???), illegal business dealings… I mean, its DIEGO

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ @symbiont13​ @nicke0115​ @bunnykjm​ @rosee-sensuelle​ @girlpornparadise​ @mandoplease​ @heresathreebee​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ @jetiikad​ @joalsglasses​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ @demoncatstone​ @squidlywiddly87​

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

~~~

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Thursday 11:22am

From Princess

Day 1 and I literally have an ice pack on my pussy and

Hold on he’s not wearing pants again gtg

~~~

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Friday 9:49am

From Princess

Video chatting with sister when Diego walks past in the background… shirtless.

She put her phone down (my entire screen was just ceiling) and I could hear her crying. Hung up after 10 min

~~~

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Friday 10:14pm

From Princess

He sucks ass at Jenga and its adorable

~~~

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Saturday 11:49am

From Princess

I was provided a to-do list for the day.

It's just his name

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Sunday 1:32pm

From Princess

We have sorted every liquid in the penthouse into 2 categories:

Potential Lube

Definitely Not Lube

Except we’re arguing about ranch dressing

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Sunday 2:17pm

From Princess

Update: Ranch went into the Not Lube category because it “smells nasty when it gets warm” This fact was previously unknown to me and I was afraid to ask for more details

~~~

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Monday 8:40am

From Princess

Morning announcements include the fact that 8:37 is the earliest he has ever gotten up

I’m worried about losing my job. Diego advises me to apply to Dyson because I “never lose suction”

Am I offended or proud of myself?  It’s not even 9am

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Tuesday 1:12am

From Princess

This is the most weed I have ever consumed in my life (I know, not a high bar) Why is he hanging upside down off the couch making motorboat noises??

~~~

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Tuesday 1:14am

From Princess

Ahh. He was composing a poem about my tits

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Tuesday 2:49am

From Princess

The railing up the stairs to the bedroom does not in fact support my weight. Pole dance competition is OFF

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Tuesday 2:57am

From Princess

You know that thing you do with my bras? Where you put it on like a headband and it makes mickey mouse ears?

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Wednesday 11:17am

From Princess

Julio required to give 10 min warning prior to arrival so Diego can take off his pants

Yes you read that right

Freak

~~~

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Wednesday 11:19am

From Princess

Yes you do so know who Julio is. Big, round, only wears ivory/eggshell/off white/ThisIsMy 2ndWedding  colored blazers. Jeez Lisa you're not old enough for dementia yet girl

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Wednesday 12:52pm

From Princess

I have played myself. Just ate an entire cheesesteak while being a cockwarmer

Turns out I’m the freak

Julio present and accounted for

~~~

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Thursday 9:37am

From Princess

He’s crunching  a bowl of something via spoon. I ask what it is. Crushed cheez-its and mayonnaise. What in the actual fuck this man is a literal monster

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

Edible body paint works on windows. Had to sit on his shoulders but this is the largest ‘FUCK’ I have ever written. Very proud

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Thursday 12:22pm

From Princess

Bottom half of the ‘C’ has transferred onto my ass. But 7 orgasms. Pick your battles

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Thursday 11:47pm

From Princess

Tried a pickled habanero. He’s still face down in the rug crying with laughter. It’s been 10 min dude come on

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Friday 10:12am

From Princess

Me: Why are you so heavy?

Diego: I keep eating you

Me: High five

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Friday 3:17pm

From Princess

He’s trying to “conduct business” via 3 cellphones. Would offer my tablet but I’m too pretty for prison. Gonna take a nap

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Friday 4:41pm

From Princess

Pants are forbidden in the bedroom. We’re just making the rules up as we go I see

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Saturday 9:59am

From Princess

He’s sitting in the corner of the window walls staring dejectedly outside. I hear the tiniest forlorn whisper “THOSE people are outside”

Too cute--must blow---BRB

~~~

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Saturday 1:32pm

From Princess

Angry texting. Muttering “No I can’t go outside and no you can’t come in here. Bitch…. No no, delete delete delete”

Me:  Where is your sister anyway? LA?

Him: Very Squinty Eyes

~~~

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Saturday 9:22pm

From Princess

My ass is stuck in the kitchen sink. While he was very helpful getting me in here he is of no assistance getting me out.

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Saturday 11:46pm

From Princess

Apparently ‘douchecanoe twatwaffle jerkface’ is the most hilarious insult he has ever heard. My brilliance is unparalleled

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Sunday 5:51am

From Princess

Me: Hey what’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Him outrageously offended: I’m not answering that!

Him:  ... you first

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Sunday 7:12pm

From Princess

Is it a legit massage if he has to pause in the middle to jack off?

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Monday 11:06am

From Princess

Ordered groceries via Amazon Prime drone delivery. Sitting on the rooftop patio wrapped up together in a ginormous blankie waiting.

Does this count as a date?

~~~

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Monday 1:13pm

From Princess

Drone arrived. I lost my shit. Coolest thing ever. He’s frantically ordering more stuff because I haven’t looked this ecstatic since the time he rubbed my feet then went down on me for 2 hrs

Hold up change of plans

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

stubble burn on bottom of feet :-/

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Monday 6:44pm

From Princess

We can both fit in the jacuzzi tub. Almost drowned when his phone rang and we both spazzed out

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Tuesday 10:10am

From Princess

Today’s formal edict: He will only be referring to himself in the 3rd person. I am required to do as told. Should not be this turned on

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Tuesday 11:58am

From Princess

Watching him try to answer calls like this is a level of hilarity I could not have predicted

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Tuesday 1:53pm

From Princess

He gave me a crash course in chem. Still don’t know anything but it was hot as hell

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Tuesday 2:57pm

From Princess

Despite all evidence to the contrary I’m a Good Girl. Did as I was told. Got rewarded. 13 times

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Tuesday 5:33pm

From Princess

Unlocked a tiny piece of tragic backstory*™: He’s never been to a zoo   :-(

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Wednesday 11:24am

From Princess

Julio and Bastian brought 4 pizzas. Currently eating them individually sitting in a giant square in the living room SOCIAL DISTANCING

Like he wasn’t inside me 10 min ago wtf

~~~

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Wednesday 11:25am

From Princess

Yes cute driver Bastian. Btw you are barking up the wrong tree girl. His favorite animal is bears lol

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Wednesday 12:39pm

From Princess

Garlic butter: lube or no? Round table discussion happening.

~~~

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Wednesday 1:19pm

From Princess

I won in favor of No

Me: slams hands down on table

Me: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A YEAST INFECTION???

All men present:   :-[

                             :-[

                             :-[

~~~

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Wednesday 1:32pm

From Princess

Diego: puts garlic butter cup in the empty box and slides the whole mess off table to the floor without breaking eye contact. My sugar daddy is truly a murder panther

~~~

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Wednesday 3:49pm

From Princess

Flipping channels (he only has 5000) when he comes downstairs from the bedroom wearing Ginormous Blankie as cape.

Him: Can we do the thing again?

Me: Gotta be way more specific babe

Him: Flaps blankie like wings and gives me puppy dog eyes

Him: You know. Thing. On the roof. ...please?

Did

Did he just ask me to cuddle???

~~~

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Wednesday 5:58pm

From Princess

Can confirm roof cuddles.  He fell asleep with his face mashed into my neck-shoulder after watching sunset. Every time I move he whimpers and squeezes tighter. I don't know what is happening but it kinda hurts in my chest

~~~

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Wednesday 9:12pm

From Princess

Me: You know those girls you send away when I come up? There's one that sorta begrudgingly likes me?

Him, stuffing a 2nd Oreo into his mouth(there's already a whole 1 in there)

Him: Frahnthessga?

Me: Yeah! Can I fuck her?

….I should worry about my job again pretty sure Murder Panther Sugar Daddy is dead

~~~

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Wednesday 10:48pm

From Princess

We splintered the plexiglass-divider-shower-wall thingy. His solution was to just hold all 215lbs of me up in the air and finish. I have no words

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Thursday 4:12am

From Princess

I can hear him on the phone downstairs listing names. I don't know these people. I'm going in the bathroom to run water so I can't hear anything else

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Thursday 9:02am

From Princess

I slept thru a breakfast meeting. There's a laptop  and a box of 1 doz Boston cream donuts labeled PRINCESS on the bar counter. He's watching news with Julio + Bastian on the couch. Odd but ok I got fave donuts so whatevs

~~~

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Thursday 9:17am

From Princess

On 3rd donut when I catch him staring. Can only see from eyes up bc he's peering at me over back of the couch. Have inadvertently activated Horny Murder Panther mode via accidental slutty licking of cream filling. 

~~~

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Thursday 11:40am

From Princess

Me: I don't like avocado

Diego: bitch what the fuck 

~~~

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

He asked what the deal was with white people and meatloaf. I requested clarification on food or music. He's confused it's fucking adorable

BUT NOW I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE GENRE OF CLASSIC ROCK

~~~

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Thursday 2:14pm

From Princess

I'm making a meatloaf for dinner. Also brownies. TV is still on???

~~~

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Thursday 4:24pm

From Princess

Found a big round can of guava paste in the back of the fridge. He's spoon feeding it to me while watching me make meatloaf

Diego: I did not realize you were so… domesticated

Me, no brain to mouth filter: Yeah well gettin dicked down 3x a day will do that to a girl

Please send hitman asap 

~~~

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Thursday 5:10pm

From Princess

He just turned TV off. Local news was listing all major crimes in NYC today. Last story was 6 bodies found inside meat plant freezer, execution style kills with "on-site" equipment. When I whisper Dafuq??  he distractedly mutters 'captive bolt pistol'  

He's texting again

~~~

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Thursday 5:39pm

From Princess

I kinda wanna come home now

~~~

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Thursday 7:48pm

From Princess

I have converted another person to meatloaf lover (food not music)

On 3rd brownie when he declares: I am never letting you leave again. Mine now

Look up from rolling my eyes to receive Super Intense I Can See Into Your Soul Diego Stare

~~~

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Thursday 9:50pm

From Princess

He's looking for a scary movie via voice command on remote. Other hand is on my foot. I can't even see my foot. What is the actual purpose of hands that big?? What is the evolutionary goal to this endgame? ?? Why am I wet just thinking about a    h a n d    ?????

~~~

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Friday 12:34am

From Princess

Con: This asshole is delighted to learn that I don't like scary movies

Pro: Hiding my face in his chest means I fucking feel the rumble when he laughs at me. I think I'm developing a heart condition. Hurts again.

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Friday 1:40am

From Princess

He's rubbing his face all over my stomach. I don't like this. Sir why. Please it's literally the least attractive part of me

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Friday 2:11am

From Princess

He likes it…? I don't see. How does. But it's.

No

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Friday 3:47am

From Princess

He's asleep on my stomach after spending 40 min declaring his love for belly

I'm crying and I can't stop. My whole chest hurts. What is this. Is this the most long game prank ever. There's no way he's for real. I'm afraid. Do you think I should try to escape?? Please you know I'm not easily frightened but I just. Please text back I need my BFF

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Friday 7:18am

From Princess

Woke up in bed alone and naked. Gonna grab a shirt and handle this. I can't just ignore it. This is probably a bad idea but I can't just let it go. If you don't hear back from me by noon call my parents. I love you

~~~

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Friday 11:38am

From Princess

Halfway down the stairs 3 dudes I don't know come out of the office, Diego and Julio follow. They take 1 look at me and launch into laughter and some rude fucking spanish. I'm rusty but I know fucking "fat bitch" tyvm. Diego picks this mf up by the throat and throws him into the elevator. Drags the other 2 in and... no one has come back since

Been locked in the bathroom. I'm afraid to hear anything

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Friday 1:48pm

From Princess

Relocated to closet earlier. Reading. I'm 2 chapters in and I don't even remember the title. Gonna take an ativan. Hands are shaking

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Friday 2:27pm

From Princess

You know what? I don't even care. Like as long as it's never directed at me I just don't care.

It's too late I'm in too deep. I don't know if I can even come home after this. I'm not who everyone thinks I am. I don't know who I am. I'm turning the phone off now I'm sorry but I just need everything to stop for a while

~~~

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Friday 7:48pm

From Princess

I'm ok, sorry for the dramatics. Woke up still in the closet corner but under Ginormous Blankie and can hear shower running. Decide it's time to put my big girl panties on and march in there. No I did not learn from the last time. Standby

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Friday 9:22pm

From Princess

We're good.

~~~

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Friday 11:49pm

From Princess

Ok. Marched into bathroom, launched into speech: I'm sorry but I did not know anyone was here. You have to leave me a note or something. Please tell me I did not ruin anything

Him, still in shower: Get your ass in here.

It was a literal growl

~~~

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Friday 11:50pm

From Princess

Apparently that guy had been fucking up small time and Diego was waiting for him to fuck up big time. I will never see all 3 of them again (No do not ask)Yes it was frustrating but not mad at me. Ok a little because his sister hired that guy and now he has to explain the dude's ...disappearance. Without mentioning me. No one can know about me I am a "liability"

Um ouch..? I think?? Chest pain again

~~~

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Friday 11:51pm

From Princess

He's been asleep, I'm just staring at the ceiling. Demanded I let him prove that he would never put hands on me that I don't want. I thought he was gonna cry. I did start crying but said yes. Not gentle per se, but definitely ...emotional? Like soft sex. Slow soft sex but with emotions?? I'm lost

~~~

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Friday 11:54pm

From Princess

Please tell me no. Talk me out of this. Tell me I'm fucknuts and I need to just come home and be reasonable and sensible. You know when you stand at a ledge and a little voice tells you Just jump. Do it. Go

Do I want all in? Can I do this? I should not do this. I should not care about him. Especially like this. I just. When I'm not here this is all I think about. No one else makes me feel this way

~~~

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Friday 11:56pm

From Princess

I'm hysterical right? This will go away if I just sleep. I can't stop looking at him. Touching his face, hair. Ever since the Kitchen Blowup (after the first fight??is it a fight if you're not technically in a relationship?) he's been different. Careful?? Like he really listened to me and heard. I can see him trying. Like reining in his knee jerk reactions and stopping to think before he says stuff to me. What am I supposed to do?

~~~

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Friday 11:59pm

From Princess

I want to trust him. I want to be spoiled and fucked senseless and all the giggles and private planes and shopping sprees and sleeping in til noon. But what about the other side? Constantly looking over my shoulder? Worrying that he might not come home from whatever the fuck he's out doing? The other actual supermodel hot women??? I'm not naive.

~~~

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Saturday 12:10am

From Princess

I just need to turn this off. Shut it down. Cut off emotions and just fuck. I can't do this and I can't have him for keeps. So it's time to be realistic. After this shitty quarantine ends I'll take whatever cash he wants to give me and go home. I can move if I have to. It's not hard to change your name these days. This whole nightmare will be the hilarious rumors in my future nursing home

~~~

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Saturday 4:44am

From Princess

Got up at like 350 for the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed he yanked me backwards to be smashed into/under him. Buried face into my hair and ordered:

Stop

Leaving

~~~

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Saturday 9:10am

From Princess

Woke up alone. Gathered shirt. Did surveillance from top of stairs. Music blasting. Bastian and Diego are working out. I had to sit down for a while

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Saturday 9:40am

From Princess

Finally made it down the stairs. Eating donuts while watching live action porn

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Saturday 10:27am

From Princess

Show's over. Diego announces he is going to shower with a wink. I am staying on this barstool with my donuts. I am determined

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Saturday 10:38am

From Princess

Sharing donuts with Bastian. He is staring at me

Me: ...wut?

Bastian: You know I haven't driven Franchesca anywhere in 4 months

I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at this half eaten donut but Bastian is gone

Shower still running

~~~

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Saturday 1:36pm

From Princess

Slut level 7: Shower blowjob

Realized I have to wash my hair now. He demands to do it??

Diego: How much fucking conditioner is this going to take?

Me drooling blissfully: Uhhh... please not that word right now

...I literally heard Horny Murder Panther transition happen.

He did not touch anything but my head. Came via voice command. How the fuck

~~~

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Saturday 1:39pm

From Princess

Then it was Round 2 still dripping wet in the bed. No idea how he recovered that fast not looking gift horse in the mouth.  Haha   Horse

Also slow soft again? Does this mean something?? I feel like I'm missing some key piece of info. Never had a dude like kiss all over my face and stroke my hair. What is this gentle?? Don't like the whole looking into my eyes thing

~~~

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Saturday 3:02pm

From Princess

Received an assignment. Was trying to budget for next month (on my new laptop! Whole Microsoft office package!! SPREADSHEETS!!!)

Instructed to help fix what I fucked up…?

It's resumes. He wants me to look at resumes.   Um

~~~

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Saturday 4:12pm

From Princess

We traded laptops. I picked 3 resumes for 'warehouse labor'  This is fucking surreal

Got my laptop back and… all the internet tabs were closed?? I was paying all my bills dude wtf. His phone rings but before he walks off tells me the title will be mailed to me. ?????

~~~

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Saturday 4:47pm

From Princess

He's still in the office on the phone. I'm in the closet in shock. He paid my loans. He paid my Loans. He Paid My Fucking Loans OFF

CAR

STUDENT LOANS

$$$$$   30,000  $$$$$

THIRTY GRAND

~~~

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Saturday 4:52pm

From Princess

No you can't have him if I don't want him!! Fuck you

~~~

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Saturday 5:32pm

From Princess

Bastian came back, left a big box on the counter, said "This is for you honey" and left again. Diego still in the office.

...should I open it or wait for him to come out??

~~~

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Saturday 5:36pm

From Princess

Fuck it. I'm opening this shit

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Saturday 5:42pm

From Princess

It's a very large Brahmin bag.

Holy fuck its gorgeous 

~~~

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Saturday 5:47pm

From Princess

You know what? You Know What?

IT'S KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0 TIME

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Sunday 8:42am

From Princess

I think we're ok? I actually uh, accidentally recorded um… everything-ish. And I might send it to you later. But right now things are kinda wobbly and I just wanna enjoy everything while I can. I'll check back in later. We're going to bed now

~~

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Sunday 1:58pm

From Princess

Woke up to 1 gigantic hand stroking down my back. 2nd hand stuffed up my pussy to the knuckle. Villain voice directly into left ear. Memory hazy after that

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Sunday 3:01pm

From Princess

Do Oreos in bed at 3pm count as breakfast? My hips hurt

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Sunday 6:40pm

From Princess

Ok we all know I'm very much A Freak. Trysexual if you will. Only way to know you don't like it is to try it right? So anal. Never really worked. Great in theory really unpleasant in practice.

Turns out others were trying to insert the wrong appendage. Related: I fucking love beards

e v e r y w h e r e

~~

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Sunday 10:40pm

From Princess

Yes I know you wanna know about KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0, someday I'll tell you about v.1. It's complicated. There are feels. I can't take the vague, wishy washy, up in the air status. So it went kinda like this

Me: You want to "keep" me? Wtf does that even mean?? And how, via purchasing me??? Don't get me wrong, I like being spoiled. I'm not an idiot. But you don't even know me

He looked like I stabbed him. It was horrible

~~

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Sunday 10:42pm

From Princess

So I laid it all out: I lived in my car for a while in my 20s. Escaped an abusive ex after 8 yrs. Survived cancer at 26. Did 2 rounds of trade school just to be scraping by at like $15 an hour. That you just paid off like it was nothing. You try to protect me from you and your life. But you have no idea what I've already survived.

So here's the deal: You wanna keep me?? Then I get to keep you.

But it's everything. If I can't have everything then I don't want anything. And if it can't be ONLY me then I gotta go. I'm not a back up plan or a convenience.

~~

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Sunday 10:50pm

From Princess

At this point I'm scream-crying, gesticulating like I'm hysterical. He's collapsed on the floor at my feet looking like I just killed his dog. Only makes me worse. I'm demanding an answer right fucking now. This is a disaster.

~~

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Sunday 10:54pm

From Princess

He starts yelling about how he can't keep me if I'm dead. This isn't a fucking game and I'm just like Do I look like I'm playing right now?!?

Lisa, he was crying. Just kept repeating "She's right. She's fucking right. That bitch is right."

Head in his hands sobbing.

I couldn't. 

~~

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Sunday 10:59pm

From Princess

So I got down on my knees in front of him and reached for his hands. Just like the first blowup. I was terrified because he's obviously not in control and like I don't know the things he does but I Know. And the PTSD from ex… but I finally got him to look at me and asked him to just Tell Me.

And he did.

~~~

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Monday 12:04am

From Princess

If you had told me that night in the club that any of this would happen. That this man was capable of everything these past 10 months have brought. I would've taken you to the hospital myself.

He collapsed on me and was just begging me "Don't go don't go. Please stay. Stay just for now. Please. No one else no one."  I have a lot to consider. Probably gonna be quiet for a few days. I'll text you when things calm down. He's asleep on my chest right now

~~~

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Monday 12:10am

From Princess

I mean 10 months...how many weekends have I been up here? 12? 16? And only twice did I reach out first and ask. I have stuff here. You saw the closet section. Every time I arrive there's coke and ketchup in the fridge. My face wash and toothbrush and a huge bottle of gel in the bathroom. Last time here he gave me the safe combo???

~~~

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Monday 12:14am

From Princess

YES THE SODA JFC

I mean, I've never seen ...other… in the fridge. I don't think it needs to be refrigerated???

I Don't Know Okay

~~~

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Monday 6:40am

From Princess

Woke up around 5 and he was just staring at me from like 2 inches away. He left once he realized I was awake. I didn't follow. He still hasn't come back to bed yet. Should I go find him?

~~~

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Monday 11:38am

From Princess

Found him on the couch. Coffee table covered in vast array of firearms. Did not realize there were so many in this penthouse. Little uncomfortable. But I'm a fast learner with good mechanical skills so now I can do gun stuff. Please don't ask me about it

~~~

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Monday 11:41am

From Princess

Ok yesss. We had the stupid movie cliche moment of big tough guy stands behind damsel to teach some physical skill. Gawd.

...yeah doing it feels better than watching. You happy now???

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

Mood swing. He declared vengeance on behalf of his closet. I have worn too many shirts. This cannot continue. ????? Stay tuned

~~~

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Monday 2:59pm

From Princess

This man runs the largest distribution enterprise in the western hemisphere.

Currently stuck in one of my $6 tank tops from Target. 

~~~

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Monday 4:17pm

From Princess

I'm out a tank top. And a thong. Go ahead and just think about that

...But I'm still wearing one of his shirts :-D

~~~

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Monday 5:48pm

From Princess

Instead of admitting defeat he decided to forcibly remove the shirt from me. Since I have to be difficult, I ran. If this place wasn't soundproof there would be so many police here.

What level of fucked up is it to enjoy screaming No!, while struggling, not less than 3 sec prior to orgasm??

~~~

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Monday 5:52pm

From Princess

The scale only goes to 10. You don't gotta be a bitch. Damn

~~~

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Monday 8:17pm

From Princess

14 days will be up this Thursday. But they're talking about extending it, really bad here. I'm scared. Gonna try a drink, maybe ativan because I'm starting to freak out.

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Monday 9:57pm

From Princess

Watching the news and I just sorta came unglued.  Diego not really a soft/gentle guy (obvs) but once I got thru a blubber-cry explanation of immuno-compromised and cancer treatment I got full lap cuddles. I want this every time I'm upset. Warm and solid and big hands and soft nuzzles and scratchy velvet cheek kisses. Feel so tiny and safe

~~~

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Monday 11:40pm

From Princess

Think I'm fukced up. Everything feels good. Petting all the things

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Monday 11:44pm

From Princess

I'm fiiiiine. One drink. Once ativan. Thats it

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Monday 11:49pm

From Princess

Omgod ill be fine it's good donot call me

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Monday 11:55pm

From Princess

What are fiddlesticks? Like the worrd not a instrument accessory?why do we say that

~~~

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Tuesday 7:42am

From Princess

Holy shit I slept so good. I looked back thru the texts. Wtf was I doing?? I don't remember any of this

~~~

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Tuesday 8:32am

From Princess

He's giving me that all teeth smile. I'm very suspicious. And surprisingly not horny?? Am I dying?

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Tuesday 9:46am

From Princess

Have been informed that I was very adorable last night. I'm afraid to learn his definition of adorable

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Tuesday 10:12am

From Princess

Omg he has 3 hours of video

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Tuesday 11:17am

From Princess

I spent 45 min yelling about Pluto planet status being revoked and the kilogram definition being forever altered. He was very invested in the 2nd part. Legit academic discussion

~~~

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Tuesday 11:49am

From Princess

Next part: I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. He started recording like a cooking show. I almost lit my hair on fire.

~~~

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Tuesday 11:57am

From Princess

Oh I see where everything went wrong. I had 1 drink and 1 ativan. Then I finished his drink. Then I drank his replacement. Why tf did he let me do that??

"You were so cute! How could I say no to this face, bonita?"

...I will remember that

~~~

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Tuesday 12:13pm

From Princess

Apparently we exchanged playlists. This is not good

~~~

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Tuesday 12:28pm

From Princess

Omg I revealed the Murder Panther Sugar Daddy title. Oh fuck. Shit shit shit

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Tuesday 12:42pm

From Princess

I spent 40 min petting him all over while listing everything I liked and why. He is going to be insufferable for forever after this

~~~

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Tuesday 1:22pm

From Princess

Lisa. Lisa. Holy shit. He said we made a porno. I laughed. He fucking narrated an opening to it. I am dying  I am going to die   I am dead

Him, offscreen: Diego and Bicki make a Porno!

Me, onscreen, twerking on the bed in lace bra

Me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ASS AND TITTIES!!!

Diego pops into shot, giggling: Pretty Princess Pussy!!

The whole thing just dissolved into shaky blur and us laughing hysterically

~~~

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Tuesday 1:24pm

From Princess

No I'm not sharing it. What is wrONG WITH YOU??????

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Tuesday 3:44pm

From Princess

It… did not go the way I thought it would. And apparently he had not watched it either because we were both surprised.

That. Was not sex. Seeing the soft slow with emotions from the outside was pretty damning.

That was lovemaking

~~~

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Tuesday 6:32pm

From Princess

I'm locked in the bathroom. Everything is fucked.

I just… I just hid my face and said "I want to go home." Like a fucking coward hiding behind my hair, I took off upstairs and now I'm here. It's been a long time. I'm still alone

~~~

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Tuesday 6:39pm

From Princess

No shit Sherlock, I know I have intimacy issues.

Men don't love me. Sure I'm fun to fuck for a while. But they don't take a poor fat girl home. Come on, you've seen it firsthand. Clearly, since here I still am by myself

~~~

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Tuesday 6:42pm

From Princess

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't belong here. Guess I'll just ride out the last 2 days then come home

~~~

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Tuesday 6:45pm

From Princess

I think Julio is here. I can hear their voices but can't make out the words

Oh no his sister is here. They're yelling in Spanish, I can't catch any of it

~~~

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Tuesday 10:14pm

From Princess

They screamed for a while, then she finally left. Been silent ever since. I don't know if he's still here

~~~

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Tuesday 10:40pm

From Princess

He's definitely still here. There's a tantrum going on

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Wednesday 12:32am

From Princess

Fell asleep in the closet corner again. Except when I woke up he was wedged in there with me

Me: … um

Diego: I think I see why you do this

Then he went to sleep on me

~~~

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Wednesday 5:48am

From Princess

Have been talking since 3. Still in the closet.

~~~

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Wednesday 7:10am

From Princess

I'm coming home when this is over. I need some time and space to think. 

~~~

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Wednesday 7:12am

From Princess

Is that even the right term? Do you 'break up' with a sugar daddy???? 

~~~

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Wednesday 7:13am

From Princess

NO I WANT TO KEEP HIM

BITCH I WILL STAB YOU

~~~

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Wednesday 7:16am

From Princess

Gonna shower and go to bed. You mention that last text and I literally will stab you. BFF or not

~~~

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Wednesday 4:40pm

From Princess

Just listened to an hour of descriptions of Mexico.

I am… tempted

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Wednesday 6:54pm

From Princess

I'm flying home Friday, they just lifted the travel ban here.

~~~

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Wednesday 6:59pm

From Princess

No, no one is happy here. We're both clingy disasters today

~~~

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Wednesday 7:17pm

From Princess

Went downstairs. It's a war zone. We came back upstairs 

~~~

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Thursday 6:19am

From Princess

Couldn't sleep so I'm packing. Diego is watching me from the bed with the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes in existence.

Effect kinda ruined because I can see his bare ass

~~~

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Thursday 6:22am

From Princess

Why would you ask me that? You know he's an exhibitionist 

~~~

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Thursday 6:23am

From Princess

I can't decide if you're the Best or the Worst BFF ever. Gawd

~~~

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Thursday 6:25am

From Princess

...IMAGE LOADING…

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Thursday 6:27am

From Princess

Yeah. You see my dilemma now???

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Thursday 6:28am

From Princess

Yes I bite it! What is wrong with you today???

~~~

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Thursday 6:43pm

From Princess

He spent entire day attached to me. I..??? What do I do with a clingy cartel boss drug lord?? Its too much

~~~

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Friday 8:52am

From Princess

I'm on the plane. He rode here with me. Looked so… broken. Feel like a monster. But I'm scared

~~~

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Friday 1:45pm

From Princess

Lisa. LISA. LISA.

I'm home but but he. Omg

~~~

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Friday 2:38pm

From Princess

There's a tiny stuffed panther in my bag with a note:  I just want to be with you

My very own Tiny Murder Panther 

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Chubby Arthur with a chubby female reader. Modern times. Can be smutty af. (Haha I’m kinda slutty for my Artie). He’s teaching her about riding horses and next thing you know.....

I’m sorry this took so long! This week has been weird. Anyways, here you go! BTW, this piece made me miss my own horseback riding lessons. 

Warnings: smut

You sigh a little nervously. Are you really ready to do this? What if you make a complete fool of yourself? What if he laughs at you? You’ll probably look ridiculous the entire time. What if you enjoy it too much and you make some goofy face? God, this was a bad idea, you tell yourself. 

“You ready?” Arthur asks, walking up to you. 

You open your eyes, swallowing. Okay, deciding to take horseback riding lessons was a mistake, you’re sure of that now. But why in the hell did your instructor have to be so damn good looking?

You graduated college a year ago and now that you have a good paying job and are fairly stable in your living situation, you decided to go looking on the internet for some things to do with your free time. Some new hobby to develop. Something active. You looked at maybe doing archery or just plain old hiking, and while you liked doing them, they weren’t enough to really keep you going for a long time. Besides, your archery instructor kept pushing you to buy your own gear and that shit’s expensive, so you dropped it. Then you ran into an ad about horseback riding lessons and the fees weren’t out of your range like a lot of the others. 

You pat the horse’s neck that you’ve just tied up to the post. She’s a dapple gray mare named Willow. Arthur explained when you first got here that she’s the best with beginners. He has five horses total, including a massive iron gray draft horse. He showed you how to interact with Willow, how to put a halter on and then how to tie her to the post outside his tack room. That’s where you are now after he left to grab some grooming tools. 

“Ma’am, you ready?” he says again. You finally nod, feeling like a damn fool. He’s an attractive man, more on the plump side but you can tell he’s still very fit. You’re chubby yourself, a struggle you’ve had for most of your life. It’s also been one of your biggest insecurities. There’s no way in hell this man finds you attractive. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly polite and has a gruff voice, the kind that could turn you to butter. 

He hands you a grooming brush and shows you how to brush Willow. Then he shows you how to clean Willow’s feet with a pick and then has you do it. She’s a patient and obedient horse, to which you’re grateful. When she’s all brushed and clean, Arthur comes out with a blanket and a big saddle. He shows you how to position the blanket and then throws the saddle over her back. Then he shows you how tight to put the girth around Willow’s belly and how to measure and adjust the stirrups. Then he shows you how to bridle her. He undoes everything and tells you to repeat it. He’s a firm believer in hands-on learning, which you appreciate. 

After she’s saddled up, you lead Willow outside with Arthur. He’s glad you had the knowledge to buy yourself some gear before showing up, mostly the riding boots and a helmet. He admits he never wears one himself, but he grew up on horses so he’s pretty confident in his riding skills. 

“Never go without a helmet until you know how to ride backwards, forwards and upside down,” he says. 

In the round pen, he teaches you how to mount. When you’re finally on Willow’s back, he asks how it feels. It feels good, even if it is taller than you thought it’d be. Arthur just has you walk around the round pin for the next half hour so you can get used to the horse moving beneath you and get your balance. He’s surprised how well you’re able to balance yourself. 

Over the lesson, you keep catching him looking at you, but you can’t tell if he’s just making sure you don’t fall off or get ahead of yourself. It’s probably just wishful thinking, but you swear he seems to always have a small smile when he’s looking at you. Like you said, there’s no way he finds you attractive. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, you have a few more lessons and have graduated to trotting and doing simple work like pirouetting and other types of turns. Arthur says it’s all important so you can really learn how to feel your horse and build that unique bond of trust between horse and rider. It’s tough work that always leaves you sweating a little, not to mention sore. After your first lesson, you could barely walk normally because of how saddle sore you were. 

You swear Arthur’s been flirting with you a little more and more each time you’ve come for a lesson. Banter between you comes easily and you learn a lot about each other. However, by your sixth lesson, you struggle to look him in the eye thanks to the fact you’d had a wet dream about him. It had been amazing too, the things he did to you were just wonderful. You’re determined to keep it a secret. 

The tenth lesson, as you’re unsaddling Willow, Arthur strolls up to you, looking nervous. Oh no, he’s about to tell you he can’t continue teaching you for some reason. Is he about to sell his ranch? Is he selling Willow?! You love Willow, she’s a fantastic horse. Oh no, what is he about to announce? You’ve come so far with these lessons, they’ve been an incredible amount of fun. 

He rubs his neck nervously. “Hey, uh, Y/N. I was wonderin’, well…” He stutters a bit. “I understand if you ain’t interested or if you got plans. And I certainly don’t wanna step on any toes if you already got someone, but…” He finally looks at you with those beautiful blue eyes. They were the first thing you noticed about him. “I’d love to take ya out to dinner. Tomorrow, if you’re free?” 

You must be tired or hungry or dehydrated or something. No way in hell did Arthur Morgan, your horse riding instructor and certified hottie, just ask you out on a date. There’s no way in hell! You must take too long to process this because he begins to stammer again. “I didn’t mean…. If ya already got a boyfriend, or a girlfriend even, I certainly don’t wanna intrude. Sorry if I offended ya.” 

He begins walking away, his face red. You come to your senses, realizing you didn’t make it up. “Arthur, wait! Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging. I thought… well, I thought I was just hallucinating or something. To be honest, I’ve wanted to ask you out forever but just… didn’t think you’d want to.” Great, now you’re the one rambling. “Arthur, I’d love to go to dinner with you.” 

You’ve never seen him smile so wide. “Well, that’s great, Y/N.” The two of you set time and details and then you say goodbye. His eyes are sparkling when you leave and you feel like you’re floating the entire way home. You can’t believe it. A date with Arthur Morgan! He’s gotta have dozens of women drooling at his feet, you know he teaches other people to ride. You’ve seen a couple of them. So why in the hell did he ask you out? You’re just a normal girl, there’s nothing about you that you find interesting. Not in personality and definitely not in looks. 

The next day, you try to find something nice to wear. Not anything too formal of course, but something nice. You end up just putting on a clean pair of jeans and a tank top with a plaid button down shirt, leaving it open. There. A safe, nice and casual look that still says you know how to have fun. 

Arthur knocks on your door and when you open it, you can’t help but let your mouth fall slightly open. He was always good looking before but now he’s down right sexy. He’s in a pair of jeans, his signature cowboy boots, and a blue plaid button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His shirt’s only buttoned up to halfway up his chest, revealing some of the hair growing on his chest. You remember your sex dream involving him and resist the urge to just rip his shirt open. You doubt you’ll ever get to that point with him. 

At dinner, the two of you get on famously. You chat at the table for well over two hours. But after having a few drinks, your resolve to not be overly sexual towards him is beginning to slip. 

“I think I need more riding lessons,” you say, slurring slightly. “Maybe you can help me more?” 

His eyes spark at you, a dark look in them and he wears an illegally sexy grin. “Oh, I can certainly do that, darlin’.” 

Okay, you’re already hot for this guy. Jesus, you’re not even intimate with him and he’s already pushing your buttons. You think somewhat woefully about how you’ll probably end up feeling lonely while using your vibrator again later tonight. 

However, when you walk out with Arthur to his truck, slightly tipsy, he stops you and then slowly bends down and kisses you. His lips are like fire. They awaken some kind of heat within you that has nothing to do with sex. It feels incredible and you find yourself wanting more when he pulls away. You reach up, tangling your hands in his hair, and kiss him back. Your hand wanders down from his head to his chest where you start rubbing his collarbone, your fingertip barely touching it. His response is undeniable and he groans. “Your house?” he says, his breath picking up. You just nod and kiss him again. 

The next thing you know, you’re in his truck and he’s speeding down the road towards your house. Now is the time for you to start freaking out. Are you really going to sleep with him on the first date? Technically, you’ve spent a lot of alone time with him, but they were never dates. Was this his goal all along? Just getting you into bed and having fun and then, next thing you know, he’s just your instructor again or worse, he disappears? Should you be doing this?

He must be able to tell you’re freaking out because he reaches over and takes your hand. “Sweetheart, you feelin’ okay?” You look at him. “I, um, I don’t want you to think I do this on every first date, Arthur. Because I don’t. Hell, I’ve never fooled around with anyone until after our third date.” He chuckles and brings your hand up to kiss it. “I understand. And I don’t want ya to think I’m tryin’ to take advantage of you.” 

He pulls up to your house and he stops, but doesn’t get out. “Listen, we don’t have to if you don’t feel ready.” Okay, you’re already hard core falling for him. First, he’s hot, he’s sweet and kind, and now he’s patient and he doesn’t wanna push you. You reach over and kiss him. “Thank you, Arthur. I think… if we did it tonight, we’d probably end up regretting it.” 

He nods and then walks you to the door. There, he gives you another kiss. This one’s more passionate, yet not pushy. In it, he says he’s already crazy about you. 

After the first date, the riding lessons have changed only slightly. There’s more touching and kissing, plus Arthur doesn’t hide his flirting anymore. You’ve gone on a few more dates but still haven’t done the nasty with him. He hasn’t pushed for it either, but you can tell you’re getting close to breaking that. 

During one riding lesson, he shows you a slightly tricky maneuver and you try to copy it but end up just slipping off the horse and falling into the sand. He runs over, asking if you’re okay. You are, the only thing injured is your pride. He chuckles when you get up, clearly unhurt. “Now you’re a real cowgirl!” he says with a laugh. “Falling off is a right of passage, sweetheart.” 

“I just lost my balance is all,” you say, brushing your jeans off. The sexual tension throughout the day has been stronger than ever. He touches your shoulder. “Maybe you need a little more practice,” he says. 

Before you can stop yourself, you’re kissing him, your arms wrapped around him. He groans against your lips and you reach down, squeezing his crotch. It immediately grows hard. Arthur pushes you away just slightly and he grabs your hand, running into the stable and into an empty stall where he stores hay and sawdust. 

As soon as he gets there, you’re attacking him. The first thing you do is rip open his shirt. Fuck, he’s even hotter than you thought. You start kissing his chest and stroking his nipples. He tips his head back as one hand wanders down to his belt and undoes it. In your desperation to see him unsheathed, you fumble with his belt. Eventually you get it undone and his pants unbuttoned. You reach in and grab him, his length already hard. His hips buck a little. 

“Hey,” he groans. “Let me give you another riding lesson.” 

You shiver and nod. He lifts up your shirt and rips it off and then unclasps your bra. He stares at your naked breasts for a moment and then you reach down and strip off your pants. Now you’re completely naked in front of him. He smiles as he studies your body and then he strips his own clothes off. 

Once you’re both exposed, he lays down on his back, his cock standing erect. He gestures down at it. “Come on, cowgirl. Time for your lesson.” 

You almost giggle at how cheesy he is, but you comply. You kneel down, straddling his hips but keeping his length away from your slit. You kind of wish there was something in the terms of foreplay. He must sense your hesitation. His hands latch onto your hips and he starts rubbing up your sides and finds your breasts. You tilt your head back as he strokes your nipples, making the already stiff nubs perk out even more. 

Eventually one hand leaves your breast and slides down between your legs. “Damn, you’re wet,” he says. You sigh in pleasure and then he slips a finger into your soaking slit, making you yelp. He tickles you, your breath picking up. You involuntarily twitch on him and then he pushes a finger into you. “Think you’re ready, cowgirl,” he says after a few moments of you fucking his hand. 

You nod and sit up a little, grabbing his stiff cock. You pump it a few times and then angle your hips directly above it, settling down onto him. He feels good as he fills you up. He goes in deep and then, without warning, he begins pushing himself in and out of you. You can’t help but moan with every push and bounce along with him, creating even more friction between the two of you. You look down at him. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are filled with lust. He’s left his old hat on. To be expected, you suppose. You’ve never seen him with it off. 

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he growls. You gasp again as he puts his hand back to your slit, tickling your clit. He’s the first man you’ve done this who has actually taken the time to make sure you get your pleasure. 

“Keep going,” you squeak. “Oh God, Arthur, it feels good.” He stimulates you again and again, your hips wildly bucking as his cock pulses within you. He pushes himself up a little harder, brushing your spot as he slides his finger across your clit again. You clench your toes and groan loudly, turning into jelly on him. “Good girl,” he says in a deep voice. “You’re alright. Easy.” 

Just as you’re coming down and about to put yourself back together, he flips you onto your back so he can really pound himself into you. He’s going so hard you’re sure it’ll hurt in the morning, but you don’t care. He feels amazing. You clutch his back, leaving behind small scratches as he thrusts again and again, chasing his own end. After a short time, he finally pulls out and releases onto your thighs and the hay beneath you. “Shit,” he says when he’s finished spilling out. 

You cup his cheek and smile up at him. “Did I do good?” you ask. He smiles and kisses you. “I think we might need another lesson.”

[changeling-rin]

...Gan is that you?

Aside from that, I have done the ‘productive’ thing though, except in my case it's, “What if Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Spirits could be made from people?” and then it turns into a 20+ page multichapter idea involving Atem coming back from the afterlife, he and Yugi as a card combo, and a complete and utter derailing of the canonical timeline for anything including and beyond Jaden Yuki.  

...Help.  

I like to imagine that one of the DL boys sat down and facilitated an actual conversation between the giants and the Skull Kid.  A nice restoration of friendships.

And thank you, I shall.  You as well!

Headcanon accepted.  Because, even if he did know it was his Champion ability at some point, amnesia is one heck of a mind-wipe.

I don’t appear to have the first part of your message, at all.  However, am I right in thinking that you’re the reviewer who left a very similar message on FF.net?  

 “SO, I may have tried to say something on the ask-the-Dimensional-Links Tumblr page, buuut I don't know whether everything was there so Imma say it here. I had a great idea involving the final fight with Demise, and I'm being honest when I say it's pretty much mostly Dusk (he's 10000000% my fav, you do an amazing job). Here's how it goes: Dusk, being a ranch hand, is naturally strong enough to wrestle and defeat gorons, and some of the other Links have power enhancing items right? So, what if Dusk, being thoroughly done-with-Demise goes up to Demise and grabs his arm and flips him onto the ground, revealing the power gauntlets or whatever that he borrowed. He then proceeds to smack him multiple times over into the ground again (Hulk style "puny god'), the launch him into the sky, get Wind to give him a boost, then roundhouse punch Demise straight back into the floor. After that, he walks up to Demise with a "friendly" smile and informs him that he should never insult or attack his pack ever again, while the others look on like "omygawsh please lets never ever ever ever EVER get Dusk irritated" (but Shadow's like "maaaaaaate that was viscous I like it"). it was just a thought, but I found it funny. It's an amazing story btw! I LOVE IT!”

Okay upon further comparison, this was definitely you.  Therefore: This is a hilarious mental image, but I feel like Demise is probably too dangerous to get up-close-and-personal with until the very, very end of the battle.  Ideally when he will be too beat-up to protest.  Also I’m not sure if Dusk has the personality for a rage-induced Hulk Smash, but I can definitely squeeze in a ‘friendly’ smile and a few threatening statements.  Thanks for the ideas!

[sshoujo-ais]

can i have a proper cowboy au for you and yang instead of whatever nonsense the fndm cooks up? ty and love u guys lmfao -dae

of course u can dae, also fYUCK yorse/beehaw or whatever the hell it even is.

cowboy AU: who’s the protective sheriff? who’s the tough outlaw? give one headcanon about you and your f/o’s relationship in this AU!

i’m m’sheriff! i uphold the law in my small western town where nothing ever happens except sometimes a stampede or whatever the heck kind of exciting thing happened in western towns aside from like. tumbleweed passing by.

and then one day this mysterious stranger rides into town on her horse (which is bumblebee btw. bumblebee in this thing is yang’s horse) and like just. walks up to me and requests to be my deputy and i’m like “but i already have a deputy” and she shoots him and says “now you don’t”

and then i’m like “do i arrest her bc on the one hand she literally just shot my deputy but also if she’s badass enough to do that i stand no fuckin chance” so instead i’m like “let’s get a drink”

and over a few drinks in the local saloon she tells me about who she is, that she’s a runaway daughter of a bandit queen from out east and she’s looking for protection and i’m just like shit man she’s badass and sexy and i do kinda have an open spot for a new deputy tbf... so i’m just like sure

and it takes her a bit of getting used to the job but eventually she turns out to be a good deputy even tho like. the most crime that happens in our small boring town is Drunk People Being Drunk

that is until one day when mommy dearest arrives with her whole ass bandit gang and they just roll up and demand that we surrender yang or the whole town dies

and i’m not about to go down without a fight and neither is yang so we get out into the streets and a brutal shootout begins

and when the dust clears the only ones standing are me, yang and raven, and she’s so impressed by our tenacity that she just leaves us be, and after she leaves yang is so happy that she kisses me~

and then we retire and get married and skip town to buy a ranch down south where we spend the rest of our lives together <3 the end

[fyrapartnersearch]

if the saloon doors are a-swinging...

howdy, howdy fine folks! shock and surprise, i am looking for a couple of writing partners c: i am 26, and i work fulltime as well as go to school part-time, so while i cannot promise rapidfire posts, i am becoming better about daily posts! as long as they're relatively short, sweet, and to the point. so, limits/fun factoids about my style/"tl;dr are we compatible?" first: + when reaching out to me, please tell me your limits and any plot/character ideas!  + addendum: i will not respond to messages that don't contain any information about you, your limits, and what you're looking to write or what characters you'd like to use! it doesn't need to be completely fleshed out, thanks!  + i write over discord near exclusively now! + i'm adaptable and laidback! however, i do not write pedophilia, rape/sexual assault, incest, abusive relationships, romantic large age gaps, nor master x slave. i will not write explicit content with minors either.  + quality is far more valuable than quantity regarding length. i prefer shorter nowadays! those tasty, 1-3 para potato chip rps, so to speak c: + third person only, please +i do like long-term!  + romance and platonic is welcome! as far as romance goes, all gender identities and sexual identities are a-okay. i do admittedly have a preference for m// lately, so i will likely turn some other pairings down depending on what i am currently already writing! + i prefer writing middle-aged to older farts! they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, identities, and backgrounds! i wholeheartedly welcome the same! + i love ooc chatter! i'd prefer it if you did too, but it's absolutely okay if you're just interested in writing! it is not a dealbreaker + if you're not feeling it or if life happens, that's okay. you are free to either tell me you want a change, drop altogether, or even ghost me! i will do my best to communicate, but i am sorry in advance if i disappear without a word! i try to be pretty good at letting people know if i am not feeling it or if i am going on a break c: + yes, yes, i know i write like a goob - but i promise you that my posts will be crafted with love and care what do i like to write?  [cravings] + constantly changing! i have a couple of silly nuggets rolling around. mostly fluff with sprinkled angst. + post apocalypse slice of life is also great. with plenty of humor to spare. + anything with werewolves and their human beloved very concerned about the recent furniture chewing phase, and wow is frontline expensive for a 400lb beast. + want something depressing? how about something inspired by bioshock? impossibly beautiful underwater world with genetic manipulation, unhinged leaders, and missing children. + a silly, humorous story about a familiar and their witch + something a bit more rocky, but an old fashioned western physician falling for an outlaw/ sheriff/ rancher, etc. bonus points for post-apoc and western themed. please, i got the perfect ole grizzled doc for this c: [modern] + i love modern, but i am not really looking too intensely for it right now c: i am happy writing about firefighters and lawyers, scientists, military readjusting to civilian life, boring divorced dads who find lifelong love with other divorced dads, fluffy slice-of-life, etc. + military and coming back home! + leaving the city for a life on a farm! + leaving the farm for a life in the city! "y'all mean to tell me you don't know what noodling for catfish is?"

[(somewhat) historic] + btw, i am not a history buff - so be prepared for anachronisms galore! c: which might mean plumbing and dental care centuries before it was introduced. + noire crime! old grizzled detectives and their partners in crime trying to figure out these gosh dang murders. dang killers, bringing down everyone's vibes. + a detective moving to a podunk old town, with a ~mysterious past~. however, there isn't any mysterious past, the locals just humor the guy and i have a soft spot for the detective falling for the sheriff while constantly heckling him for assistance. + western! please, just... anything western. i love cowboys, ranches, train robberies, just... i will maybe propose if you let me indulge this. 

[fantasy & monsters] + i am also happy to write fantasy!  + fantasy can genuinely be blended into anything, into modern, sci-fi, post apocalyptic, etc. + i am also happy with pure, vanilla, cheesy fantasy - with kings, queens, beautiful warhorses and kingdoms by the sea, and conventionally attractive people with healthy teeth and... far less dysentery.  + i am happy to write sci-fi into fantasy - hunters/mercenaries with eyes that can hologram maps and prey, platinum horses made of gaskets and titanium joints who breathe steam, a kingdom in the sky, anything! + something all 'bout dat circus life! star crossed lovers tropes abound! + very, very old monsters who pester that one Highly Top Secret Government Agent ™ to let them see the spectral ghost of their mortal loved one from centuries ago. the ghosts of their in-laws also tag along. + good-natured, summoned demon spouses who just wish you'd get along with your in-laws who reside in a lovely three-bedroom villa style family home in hell. + i have a love for monsters trying to figure out this whole. human. thing. attempting to fit polo shirts for their office job over their curled horns, old werewolves trimming their nosehairs and their primary physician chiding at them for eating too much red meat, etc. there are so, so many possibilities + also dragons! [post-apocalyptic] + i've got spurs that jingle jangle jingle! post-apocalyptic in the wild, wild west sounds incredibly fun! + one innocent or guilty chump gets kicked out of a survivors organization, and their closest friend follows. then they both adventure into the great unknown of a hollow world. + zombie survival, maybe? [sci-fi] + space pilots, space pirates, space colonies, space travel, spaaaaace! + i don't have anything specific! typically, my sci-fi is blended in with other themes c: if you have anything, i'd love to hear it! [... guilty pleasures] + i love the cheesy and humorous things to temper the chaos. love, love, love writing that domestic, usually peaceful, sweet life of two happy people who have been together for ages or just met in their golden years after struggle and just... working for their happy endings. + though i am not usually interested in cheesy, obnoxious tropes... i have a soft spot for two grumpy, gruff guys falling for each other c: [miscellaneous]

+ this is hardly an exhaustive list of ideas or themes that interest me! if you have something in mind that you do not see, or anything at all, please do let me know! i love brainstorming and hearing ideas c: + note: i love writing with pretty boy archetypes!! but i am inundated with them at the moment in my current threads, bring me yer more grizzled and rough and tough boys! the two characters i have in mind are too old and boring to keep up with pretty, lithe youngins! what characters do i have in mind? plenty! craving two in particular, but i have plenty more in mind if the following two don't catch your interest: + one is svelte, aloof, posh, thoughtful. the very characterization of something like... a sleek, abyssinian cat playing the cello. intriguing, a little odd, an intimidating, coded villain - but really, just socially awkward, and a sweetheart. + the other is beefy, grumpy, and also... a goof at the core. the archetype of an ornery grandpa with the warmest heart and a distinguished grey streak in his hair. both are middle-aged men and adaptable to anything from old-fashioned fantasy, to modern, to sci-fi, to fantasy-modern hybrids, to post apocalyptic. they can be rogues, kings, survivors, lawyers, detectives, chefs, scientists, neighbors, loyal right-hands, anything from protectors and anchors to the village/office boob.  i am preferring to write the former gentleman, but i am up to write either, or someone completely different! i am also happy to elaborate upon contact if you are interested! fortunately, each one is more complex than several adjectives and a stereotypical archetype. i'd also love to hear the characters you have in mind! are you interested? well, neat-o! i can be reached at discord on howdy^3#6518, i look forward to hearing from you!

[spacetravels]

Do nicky!!! I wanna know that dumbass

SON BOY!!!! BIG SKY COUNTRY YEEHAW SON BOY

how tall are they?

he’s 5′11 !!

how do they tend to dress?

LOL he’s kind of a lazy dresser… tee shirts, denim on denim, sometimes he layers flannel on a good day… he wears like button downs and nice dress pants to work but now that he’s on the ranch he insists on very ridiculous flashy clothes at inopportune moments

do they like how they look?

if he doesn’t acknowledge that he’s a total hottie who else will :/!

are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

he’s the younger brother of my OH mc, elliot!! he was supposed to be in boston for when elliot finished med school so they could live together while he taught 7th grade us history but then he went rogue and became a full time ranch hand, which… was not great when he essentially left his sister homeless in boston

are they a morning person or night owl?

morning person ! he likes to be up early and is a pretty chipper morning person hehe

are they a cat person or a dog person?

he fucking loves dogs ok but ofc can’t have a dog in his apartment ever so he just parents cacti

got any favourite foods?

pho !!!!!!

how about favourite drinks?

he likes smoothies LOL like kale smoothies cuz he’s just. that kind of person

what are their favourite movies/tv shows?

he likes comedy and the genre of “really, really bad horror movies” which essentially falls under comedy for him… not to be like “liking the office is his personality trait” but it. it kind of is.. also romcoms

do they have any hidden talents?

taught himself to speak latin backwards for any “just in case” moments he wants to scare the shit outta people (his sister)

do they believe in love at first sight?

he wants to say no but also he gets smitten so easily by a charming smile and laugh uwu

who is their love interest?

ASHA !!!!!!!! he’s so intrigued by her and how talented and collected she is and wants to spend as much time as he can getting to know her……. it was literally love at first sight…… if only she got screentime lol

what are they afraid of?

cows but he had to get over that very quickly……. does not like elevators and WILL always opt to take the stairs

what are their guilty pleasures?

he’s a hopeless romantic ok….. super into cheesy romantic shit like secret picnics and sending flowers….. only asha knows this because he tries to send bouquets to the general store with goofy cards that have goofy punny pick up lines whenever he can…….. there is no guilt in this btw he just would die if anyone brought it up in front of him cuz he doesn’t want ppl to make a big deal out of it (he is easily embarrassed by everything)

what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?

he always wanted to be a teacher actually!! so it was very exciting for him to go and be a teacher in boston but then. he. you know. horse

have they ever broken a bone?

no but he has faked it to avoid running the mile in gym class. it did not work

have they ever been in trouble with the law?

no but he like smoked weed in college once and thought the cops would find out and was very afraid of being arrested for this for like three months

+ three other random facts about them!

he’s super passionate about everything he does and tries to put 100% of himself into it!!, nicky is also pretty much a klutz and given the wrong circumstances things can and will go wrong, he really likes kids and really wants kids some day… he’s just got dad energy

[jae-ffrey]

🌸 50 Questions Tag 🌸

tagged by this wonderful person, right here 👉@taurusjaehyun 💗 hope you're doing well, dear! loved the new fic btw 🤭💞

What takes up too much of your time? being on my phone

What makes your day better? food especially if im craving something and i get to eat it

What’s the best thing to happen to you today? getting tagged to do this 😂

What fictional place would you like to go to? Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (From Harry Potter) or Wakanda (From Black Panther/MCU)

Are you good at giving advice? I think so, since a lot of my friends irl ask me for advices.

Do you have a mental illness? I used to have anxiety, I still do tbh, but it's a lot worse when I was younger.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? ONCE, AND IT WAS SCARY

What musician inspired you the most? Bruno Mars, BTS, Yeng Constantino

Have you ever fallen in love? Yes

What’s your dream date? Anything related to the night sky and space like, stargazing while on a picnic or going to an observatory

What do others notice about you? im smart yet clingy cuz i give too many hugs apparently 🙃

What’s an annoying habit you have? getting second hand embarrassment on everything everybody does

Do you still talk to your first love? yes, cuz we're currently together?

How many exes do you have? 1, we lasted for 1 and a half months 😃. He broke up with me, thank god.

How many songs are in your playlist? I have like 200+ songs in my favourites playlist.

What instruments can you play? uhh i can play the recorder? 😂 other than that, none, zero.

What do you have the most pictures of? NCT, mostly jaehyun

Where would you like to go before you die? i actually do not have one in mind, but i guess to Spain?

What’s your Zodiac? Cancer sun (astrology zodiac), Metal Dragon (chinese zodiac)

Do you relate to it? At some points yes, but am not as vulnerable as people think a cancer is.

What is happiness to you? Being with my whole family (btw my brother's now here so yey! we're finally complete after 18 years), Being with my closest friends, Being able to make new friends, Discovering new music/songs, Food that are actually good, and many moreeee

Are you going through anything right now? nothing too big of a deal, I'm just anxious cuz my grades aren't out yet and most of my instructors are out of town.

What’s the worst decision you ever made? i honestly don't know cuz there's a lot 😂

What’s your favourite store? H&M, bershka, Stradivarius, Zara. basically, all stores where i get my clothes from 👌

What’s your opinion on abortion? neutral. as a future nurse, i choose not to have an opinion on it.

Do you keep a bucket list? YES, i have a notebook just for it although i kinda forgot where i kept it ahahahaha

Do you have a favourite album? the BTS Love Yourself albums

What do you want for your birthday? a car even though i still dont have a license

What are most people’s first impressions of you? they mostly think I'm serious cuz i tend to have like a glare type of look (i have poor vision okay?) but tbh im a huge softie idk what they're talking about

What age do you seem according to most people? early 20s

Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on a table beside the headboard of my bed, so like when i lie down it would be above my head, if that makes sense

What word to you say the most? i used to say "b*tch" in most sentences (e.g "b*tchhh, you would NOT believe....) nowadays i do self-censoring and go "bih/bish/bith","gurl/bruh", or "sis". other times i use terms of endearment (sweetie, honey, bby, etc.)

What’s the oldest age you would date? 6 years older than me

What's the youngest age you would date? 1 year, MAX

What job/career do most people say would suit you?  Anything medical related tbh (they're not wrong tho)

What’s your favourite music genre? i really do not have a favorite genre. it really depends on my mood, but i do listen to a lot of pop and R&B

If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? Spain or Canada

What is your current favourite song? Legs by Eric Bellinger (warning: it is explicit, so i dont recommend listening to it if you're not into smutty hoe things 🤧)

How long have you had this blog for? I've had it for about 6 months now 😲

What are you excited for? I'm excited to watch Avengers: Endgame with my bf

Are you a better talker or listener? Listener 👂

What is the last productive thing you did? doing my whole family's laundry 🙃

What do you want for Christmas? i honestly do not know 😂

What class do you get the best grades in? Academic Writing

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a flat 7

What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Working on a patient's case as a Forensic Nurse

When did you get your first heartbreak? when my grandma died

What age do you want to get married? maybe in my 20s. somewhere in your mid-30s, there may be a decline in fertility 🤭 and we wanna, ya know, keep the family bloodline going or whatevuh

What career did you want to have as a child? Nurse, Doctor, Chef yes, all at once

What do you crave right now? Spicy Chicken Ranch Pizza 😋

I'm tagging y'all @sunshine-jaehyun 💕 @seofter 💕 @nctream 💕 @ouryoonoh 💕 @jaehyunay 💕 cuz i wanna know you better! but of course only if you want to 😗💕💗

[a-ackermann]

Answer 21, Tag 21

Aw shucks, thank you for tagging me @nuclearlolly !! (I don’t think I even follow twenty one people though shit-)

1. Nicknames: Spencie, Spence, Speenis, Speenie (sometimes Speenie Weenie if you’re my boyfriend or trying to get my attention) Spoon

2. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn ♑️

3. Height: 5’2

4. Hogwarts: Slytherin

5. Last Thing I Googled: Ted Bundy (people kept saying he was attractive and I wanted to see and confirm it for myself, btw, I don’t confirm it)

6. Favorite Musicians: (Not gonna lie I listen to one band, but there’s a few occasional artists I like) Ghost B.C., Billie Eilish, Cavetown, Mother Mother, The Hoosiers

7. Song Stuck In My Head: Life Eternal by Ghost, that shit has been stuck in my head for WEEKS now

8. Following Now: 18 (I said I didn’t follow 21!!)

9. Followers: 103!! (Making my heart swell gosh-)

10. Do I Get Asks?: I do but they’re usually just HC requests! (Which btw I only have a few in my inbox rn so I’d appreciate if someone spilt their desires 👀) but I would probably cry tears of joy if someone ever asked ME something :,)

11. Amount of 💤?: uhh kinda depends? Sometimes 1 1/2 hours, sometimes 13. I’m currently living on about 8

12. Lucky Number: funny thing is, I don’t actually have one!

13. What I’m Wearing: Light grey sweats and a white tee shirt

14. Dream Job: I literally don’t have one, my mind is a mess, I want to do so many things in life but I just can’t think of something I could settle for job wise for most of my life

15. Dream Trip: Aw man idk, I’ll just go wherever Dylan from blackoutcosplay (on Instagram) lives 😔😔 NO NO IM KIDDING EICNWONDWK, probably just visit my home town (Seattle Washington)

16. Favorite Food: man I don’t HAVE one , but I have lots of favorites! Cabbage rolls (I’m Ukrainian ok), sushi, mac n cheese, cheez its, honey BBQ wings with ranch and celery sticks, chicken pelmeni with white or balsamic vinegar, and French macarons

17: Instruments: I can play the ukulele (i know, everyone plays them in 2019) but my hands are still too small to properly play :,)

18. Language: My first language is English but I can speak like,, 20 words in Ukrainian

19. Favorite Song: I never have one favorite, they’re currently Cirice, Jiglo Har Megiddo, or Witch Image by Ghost, and A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers

20. Random Fact: I have INCREDIBLY light blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale mf skin so I used to get called the male Marilyn Monroe when I was younger

21. Aesthetic: UhHHHh I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY-

Probably this when I’m feeling extra edgy:

Tags (less than 21 bc I’m dumb and don’t even follow 20 people): @goji-catquoll @ask-pepi @4biddenleeches @devofuck @pothead-magician @arcanedrabbles @rosethearcanist @official-asra @official-volta @dreamyarcana @silverquartx @julianisthebiggestdisasterever

And it’s chill if you’ve already been tagged before or don’t want to do it, I’m just grabbing at thin air right now for people to tag because yeehee I don’t follow anyone oops-