#this is my plant job and not my starbucks job btw

[roaringheat]

THIS JOB IS DRIVING ME INSANE. i get zero communication and im assuming everyone else does cause of a bunch of shit ive noticed that would make this post too long. But basically I came in today cause my days for this job are Mon, Wed, and Thu. I didn't come in yesterday cause it was raining and I was told that since we work outside, don't come in when it's raining. apparently the others were told to come in cause there was a higher up coming in and they did legit everything that needed to be done. So I (the only one without a car and has to pay for Lyft) come in today and there's nothing to do and im told by my coworkers that everything is done and I won't be able to be here for a full 5 hours. Maybe 2 hours max. Ive learned to live with being an afterthought at this job cause at least I don't have any pressure on me but good lord can I get some basic respect. Gonna explode this building (in Minecraft)

[sungbeam]

I’M BACKKKK only to see Changmin??? Smth fishy is going awn 🤨🤨/j

No but omg you took the words out of my mouth THE OBJECTIFICATION OF MYSELF AND MY OWN INSECURITIES HAS ME LOOKING AT MYSELF WITH A PROVERBIAL CAMERA AT NEAR ALL TIMES WITH DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES TOO AS IF I WAS PLAYING FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S WITH MYSELF MOVING FROM ANGLE TO ANGLE EINFITNUND

Also omg what do you feel abt the new album?? I love Delicious with my whole being 😭 BUT LIP SYNC AND DOOR HAVE A HOLD ON MY SANITY LIKE PHEW I HAVE LISTENED TO THEM AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF TIMES ESP CAUSE THE VOCALS IN DOOR GO CRAZYYYYYYYY Sunwoo esp omg lord have mercy on my soul-

AND JACOB’S COVER OF CEILINGS- REAHHHHHHHHH 👹👹👹👹 I actually astral projected (esp since I was thinking of basing my first fic off of it for a bit now 😳)

Btw this might be random but for love in unity, do any of them have jobs? 😭 I KNOW THATS A WEIRD THING TO ASK BUT I ALWAYS WONDER HOW PPL MAKE MONEY TO PAY FOR GROCERIES AND STUFF WHEN I’M WATCHING TV SHOWS CAUSE IT’S LIKE, MAN, I NEVER SEE YOU LEAVE CAMPUS, OR YOUR HOUSE SO HOW CAN YOU PAY FOR GROCERIES OR RENT IN THIS ECONOMY 😭

Just a silly question lol and if they don’t have jobs, what job do you think they’d have? 🧐 Personally, I feel like Changmin would work at a Target KEHKFHKE he’s just giving those vibes yk? Chanhee gives off retail vibes fs while Sangyeon is giving home depot OH AND ERIC WOULD BE WORKING AT ONE OF THE HOTDOG STANDS THATS ALWAYS OUTSIDE THEM 💀😭 Canada bros would suit the library methinks, they would def be the type to work with kids in the summer programs or would help tutor 😌 I could also see Kevin working at a pet shop or a barista? 🧐 Haknyeon also gives off barista vibes though especially with his fluffy hair these days 😭🫶

Ok that’s enough for my little ramble this week LOLOL happy to see that you finally embraced your Changmin love 🤭 hope you have an amazing rest of your week! :D

(Also if you have any poetry recs then lmk hehe)

- Always and forever, love, 🌷 anon

he won 😔 i wanted out of the basement 😔 and this was the only compromise 😔 im sorry jacob i repent 😔 for my sins 😔

PLS NOT THE FNAF AHAHAHHAHAH BC SAME 🤡🤡🤡 ME FROM MY PROVERBIAL SECURITY ROOM QATCHING MYSELF AND YELLING DONT GO IN THERE U DUMB BITXH

omg honestly i absolutely love love love lip sync, eyes on me, and door like KWNFKSJDK R U SKIFIEBF KIDDING ME??!))<_] HEY . WHAT ABTNE MEU SANITY. HUH???? MY MIND IS NOT ANTIFRAGILE . it's doing things to me omg like i thought the simpery was bad before, but now 🤡🤣 oh boy 🤣🤡 also LOVE THAT FOR JACOB KING SHIT I LOVE ALL THE COVERS HE GETS TO POST CUZ YESSIR THATS MY HUSBAND 😭😭😭😭😭 (chxngmxn pay attention, u ARE THE SIDE HOE don't hurt me) OMG???? UR FIRST FIC???? HELLO HMU ONCE/IF U DO I'D LOVE TO SUPPORT U SKFJEOFJK unless ur uncomfy or shy tho i totally get it 🤧🤧 !!!

HELP ME 💀💀💀 I FORGOT THAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE JOBS LMFAOOOO the only one who has a canonical job rn out of the boyz is jacob BAHAHAHHAH STOP. CHANGMIN AT TARGET AJZBDIDJFODJF THATS SO FKN FUNNY HELPMEBDKSNFKJD I AM NEVER LETTING THAT GO AND HELLO???? UR RELEGATING SANGYEON TO HOME DEPOT AHAHHAHAHAHAYYA KDNFKSJFJ IM SCREECHING WHE EZING YELLIGN ERIC AT THE HOT DOG STAND I— 💀😭 pls there r tears falling down my cheeks rn this is hilarious. low-key i think kev could make money via freelance photography and being an ✨influencer✨, and maybe get eric to coach little league baseball LMAO sangyeons prob making big boy money, and haknyeon will prob find SOME restaurant to work at tbh (i can't believe i forgot to give them canonical jobs 💀 i m never letting go of target worker changmin pls that is so funny) omg WAIT haknyeon working at the target starbucks in the same target as changmin 💀💀💀 IMAGINE TBZ!TARGET WORKERS ALCMLSMFKDJF IM CRYING

i did not embrace my love for him 😔😭🤧 I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE, GASLIT GATEKEPT AND GIRLBOSSED BY A SQUIRRWL A TREE RAT A PLANT RODENT—

ANYWAYS HOPE UR WELL 🌷!! 💖 loved seeing u in my inbox as always :') mWAH

[astramthetaprime]

And then it all went merrily to hell...

Never congratulate yourself.  It always ends in tears.  

So two days -- two days -- after posting that last post from my phone because I was just so goddamned happy to be writing again ... 

I have a day job.  It’s not much of a day job as I work 40 hours a week and yet do not make enough to cover all my bills of a month.  Despite proving this twice to the State of Tennessee, I have been rejected for food stamps twice.  It’s now a daily (er, weekly?) occurrence that I get my paycheck, go to get groceries, then the next week I’m overdrawn and cannot get groceries for the second week because the only things I have spent money on are literally utility bills... So yeah, I’m now going through the house designating stuff to be sold on Ebay.  Geez I thought I left off staring at auction screens the last time I logged off WoW.  I still savor the irony that I was a very successful and wealthy Gnome in WoW and I’m literally a step away from destitution in real life.  I blame not being able to wander through my neighbors’ yards ripping up handfuls of plants to be sold to the highest bidder.  But I digress.  

Anyway.  So Wednesday, I logged on to work.  I work at home, btw.  So, logged on.  Immediately pulled into private chat by my supervisor.  I was told that the company is no longer doing back office work, and the work I’m currently doing is ending.  I am given a choice -- phone work, or my last day is December 9th.  

I did phone work when I first signed on to this outfit.  I was customer service for TurboTax, during tax season.  With a camera aimed at my face.  Involving a very complex system that I had to learn to proficiency in 2 weeks.  While trying to understand and deal with often upset and angry people for eight hours a day.  

When I was moved off that, I made it extremely clear to my supervisor I would not do phone work again.  And to be fair, they honored that by putting me on my current job, essentially doing back office data entry.  At the time I was not as aware as I am now of my various autistic problems, but I knew that I did not need to be on the verge of tears every moment I was logged in to that system.  I can’t keep up with what people are saying, often I cannot understand them over the phone, and having to deal with a computer system that I likely only vaguely understand and for which any mistake could get me fired at any moment, well... 

And to top it all off, no one else in my group has been told this.  So it looks like I’ve been targeted.  Do a job you cannot handle, or be laid off.  And since I would have refused a reasonable job offer, I would not be eligible for unemployment.  

Mind you, for a job that pays so little it doesn’t pay all my bills.  

So I said yes.  Because what choice was I given?  I have such a difficult time getting a job at all that I stay because I may be out of work for months or even years even in this “we’re hiring everybody” job climate.  Because I’m so bad at the socialness of getting a job that I am never hired.  Why did I stay with the Post Office for 23 years, through documented abuse and racism, manipulation and exploitation?  Because I knew I’d never get another decent job.  

And for all the current pro-Union sentiment going around, the American Postal Workers Union never, in all those 23 years, helped me to improve those situations.  They told me to destroy evidence of abuse, they stood by and did absolutely nothing when their own steward was ringleading the abuse in another case, and didn’t bother to show up to adjudicate an arbitration where I could prove hands down I was in the right.  Bless the kids at Starbucks and Amazon and wherever else, I hope you guys can do it better, but unions are useless parasites as far as I’m concerned.  

The point is, I was given no choice but to accept a job that I am not suited for, which will cause me stresses I am not equipped to deal with, for far less than a living wage.  

I’ve started putting in applications again online.  Likely nothing will come of it, and if anything does I won’t make it past the first interview.  But at the very least I stick up for myself a bit more than I used to.  That’s something, isn’t it?  I may not react quickly, but at least these days I react.  Eventually.  

I wish... I wish a lot of things.  I wish I’d had some kind of gumption at some point in my life to learn an actual trade.  I’ve never had any ambition or urge to learn ... oh, you know, programming or truck driving or plumbing or what have you.  I can type.  I type damned fast, to be honest, and very accurately.  I’ve tried to learn various things at various times, I’ve got CompTIA’s A+ and Network+ certifications from 2013 because at the time I was aiming to get a job doing computer tech work.  But it never went anywhere.  It’s like the dots just don’t connect somewhere in my head.  Like the Underpants Gnomes joke, Step 1 Do this thing + ???? = Step 3 Profit!  I never have been able to figure out the ????.  

And now I’m 53 goddamned years old and I keep wondering if it’s possible to get PTSD from repeatedly being manipulated and exploited for the past several decades.  And why do I never have a case against these motherfuckers so I can finally sue somebody into the middle of next week for what they’ve done to me.

So after that little “talk” I went back to work.  Because of course you do.  I have to work.  I can’t afford to take a day off.  I spent the rest of Wednesday crying and nauseous.  And got only four hours of sleep the night after.  

On top of the thing with my idiot cousin the weekend before, I just... I’m just done, ya’know?  

But after work, despite it all, not every night but a couple nights since, I’ve turned on my own machine.  I’ve loaded my notes, fired up my writing music, looked at my character photos, and dreamed of another world.  Until this one is done, I’m stuck here.  Until then it’s not The End.  

[sandersstudies]

sorry if this is bothersome, but youre the only person I know whos actually worked there, but as someone looking for their first job is starbucks a decent place to work? the benefits seem quite nice and i feel like id be pretty good at it, but im curious what the actual work is like. feel free to ignore this btw!

It is going to depend very heavily on the type of person you are and on the chances you get a good store manager. Obviously Starbucks corporate sets policies but the district and store managers REALLY set the tone for store operations. Good store managers spend time on the floor, listen to barista input, and focus on individual’s strengths while remaining good coaches. (This applies, but to a lesser extent, to store supervisors.) 

Anyway, corporate Starbucks locations have, in my opinion, two major factors that determine if you’re going to be a good candidate and if it’s going to be a good job for you: 

1) Customer Connection. This is a Starbucks top priority and if you’re not comfortable interacting with customers you’re going to struggle. It becomes easier with time but it’s a lot of getting to know people’s names and orders and being comfortable with small talk and asking questions. “Hi Diane, your usual iced tea today? Alright, you can swipe your card; any plans for your weekend? That sounds fun, need a receipt today? How are those radishes you planted last week?” How heavy the store is on customer connection is one thing determined mostly by the district and store managers.

2) Multitasking and operating under pressure. Obviously, you’re going to have to memorize a lot of drinks and be expected to make them quickly (in my area, expected drive times are 45 seconds/car). Standard dictates that a barista works on two drinks at a time. It’s important that you don’t let many tasks freak you out and are able to persevere and also work as a team player. 

For both of these, the first few weeks are the hardest, and many baristas don’t master bar (making drinks) for 2-4 months after being hired.

Sorry if this is a less clear and more long-winded answer than you expected. I really enjoy working at Starbucks, but I think it’s a difficult environment for those who are sensitive, shy, introverted, or have difficulty learning. However, a good store manager can make up for weaknesses by funneling baristas into areas that use their strengths - I have a couple shy coworkers, and they’re assigned to positions where they have to speak less. Baristas who are a bit slow on the bar might be assigned to positions where they focus on customers or cleaning tasks, and so on. 

[ilypikachu]

today started off great. I got to wake up super comfy and with a kitty snuggling me ^_^ Furthermore, I made it in time to get a reusable red cup from Starbucks and my baristia was super kind despite being under a tremendous amount of stress with the morning rush. 

I felt my study session w/Paw was productive, although her thought process is on the slower side. Tutoring session was productive. 

Things took a turn when I shared news of how I was able use my “networking” skills to get us microgreens to sale for the Bot Med Club’s Plant Sale. the freaken new president came off as not want to sale the donated microgreens, which is stupid cause we’d just make a net profit. please stop fighting me and my ideas. I’m just trying to benefit the job and now that you’re president, you’re suddenly not afriad to speak your mind and have to question my every move. Oh and btw you’re f***ing welcome for accomplishing tasks that you don’t know how to do yourself. I really dislike how nit picking she is about money. Like please, leave it alone and just let the Treasure deal with it at the conclusion of the event. 

I get where you’re coming from in that nothing comes free but sometimes ppl are just kind-hearted. oh it’s also called being a Buddhist. I dunno, maybe look into it instead having a pole up your ass. If cost is such a concern, I’ll freaken pay out of pocket like how I paid full price for the Bot Med tickets instead of at the student discount. 

once I’m relieved from my duties, I wish you the best of luck of staying on top of everything w/o my help. 

oh also my uncle has the nerve to say it’s been a while since he last saw me. Like the F you talking about old man. is your memory that bad that you forgot you saw me two days ago? o_O for one, what I do while I am not home is none of your business and makes me want to avoid you even more. 

also, it’s called midterms. remind me, how long is your commute from home to work? and who is it that packs your lunch like the little boy you are? oh and who cooks for you? when was the last time you did anything independently or cooked a healthy meal from scratch? right. don’t say stupid shit to get anything out of me. it will only pisses me off more, not want to speak to you, and make me dislike you guys more. 

[lotsofteaandcramming-blog]

WAYS TO MAKE AND SAVE MONEY AS A STUDENT PART 2 (HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE) how to be your own boss as a teen

(this is part 2 to the first list I made on ways to make and save money as a student

I also just made a YouTube video on this topic so check that out here for more tips aside from this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SriRI_kY1pg&t=25s )

We all know that in order to be a successful student, you have to dedicate a lot of your time and energy to your studying (duh). On top of that, a lot of us have other commitments, such as sports or extracurricular activities. Pursuing and dedicating time to these things is actually just as important as pursuing good grades, especially when it comes to applying for universities and scholarships. And after all of these commitments, we realize that we want (or need) to do and have things that cost money.

I made a post on this just under a year ago and it’s my most popular post. I thought I would make an updated version with some more in depth tips and ideas that I’ve used.

HOW DO I MAKE MONEY WITHOUT GETTING A “REAL” JOB?

IF I HAVE A JOB ALREADY, HOW CAN I MAKE EXTRA MONEY ON THE SIDE?

Basically, if you want to earn money without getting a regular job (or on top of having a job) you can do one or more of these three things: 

1) become an entrepreneur of sorts

2) find jobs that take place at your school or campus (since you spend most of your time there, why not try to make it your “job”)

3) establish habits that will allow you to save the money you’re earning

quick side note: I would recommend getting a job, even if it’s over the summer or for a short period of time. Working for other businesses and people has taught me so much. Although the job itself can be demanding and maybe not even worth the money you’re making, the experience is always worthwhile. It also taught me how expensive things are when you have to support yourself (for example, if you need/want something that’s $60, that’s about 4-6 hours of work you have to put in, depending on what your job wage is).

HOW DO I BECOME AN ENTREPRENEUR?

this is the definition of entrepreneur that google gives you: a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.

yes, it’s kind of a risk. what happens if you don’t have any clients for a while? what happens if you have more clients than you can handle? if you’re reading this right now, you’re probably willing to take the risk because a) you don’t have time to get a job (which demands a lot from you btw) or b) you have a job and that isn’t cutting it. below are some ideas for “businesses” that you can run yourself. (examples of businesses that are bolded are in high demand currently, from my experience and knowledge.)

1) teach things

if you’re patient, personable, good at teaching, and are willing to put yourself out there, use your talents to your advantage. you can teach kids, adults, or anyone in between, depending on what you prefer and cater to. below are some examples of teaching services you could provide:

- music lessons

- tutoring (I get more in depth with this in my YouTube video)

- art lessons

- coding/animation/web design

- software (i.e. imovie, adobe premier, microsoft word)

2) make things

- design websites for people and businesses

- design/make animations for businesses 

- open an etsy shop and make things 

- revamp old furniture and sell it

- flip books on websites like ebay (what is book flipping?)

- cook or bake

- grow plants

3) grow your social media (or someone else’s) 

4) sell your stuff

- clothes

- books

- decor

- jewellery/accessories

- old technology that can still be used

5) sit for your business 

- babysit

- pet sit

- house sit

- host “summer camps” where you babysit kids, plan some games and activities to do with them, and charge per day or week instead of every hour. I did this when I was in eighth grade (yes, you heard me right) and I made $1000 for one week. (I also talk about this in my video more in depth)

small note about being an entrepreneur: you have to put yourself out there. the hardest part about getting business doing any of these things is gaining momentum and getting clients who will eventually tell other people about your services. before this happens, you have to shamelessly self-promote. I’m talking flyers around your neighbourhood, knocking on doors, posting on social media, and making yourself known. that’s the main “risk” I mentioned above, which is using your precious time to promote yourself.

HOW DO I MAKE MONEY AT SCHOOL/ON CAMPUS?  

It’s harder to find gigs that pay money at school, but here’s the trick: you have to ask and show interest. Become friends with your counsellors and principals. Make it a priority to stop at bulletin boards and flyer hubs at your school that might be advertising jobs. below I’ve included some ways that I made money at school:

- tutoring

- score keeping: this may not be offered at every school, but at my high school students can get paid for scorekeeping sports games. it involves more than putting scores on a billboard, there’s also writing and stat-keeping involved. I got paid $15 per game, but again, I don’t know if other high schools do this. It never hurts to ask though! 

- coaching: a lot of community programs and schools are in need of peer coaches for younger kids. 

- refereeing: same as coaching, except you’re refereeing sports games. 

- trade programs: in a lot of regions, certain jobs or trades are in high demand. in order to get young people interested in pursuing these jobs as careers, trade programs and companies are offering to pay students to volunteer or work in these areas over the summer. all they require is a certain amount of hours and written proof that you worked or volunteered. I had friends who got hired in a “trade” job such as roofing, horticulture, etc. for their summer job and got an extra $1000 on top of being paid their normal wage, just because of these career programs. 

all of these job ideas are suggestions and might not be offered or needed where you go to school. the main point I want to get across is to talk to your counsellors and get involved in activities at your school. 

HOW DO I SAVE MY MONEY?

- stop buying starbucks everyday! that $5 tea or coffee adds up (if you buy a coffee/tea every school day: 5 days x $5 = $25 a week being spent on drinks). learn how to make your own drinks that are the equivalent to the drinks you buy at starbucks, and you’ll be saving a lot of money.

- know which method of payment enables you to spend more money. if it helps to know what you’re spending, avoid using your debit card. for me, I hate having cash because I want to spend it wherever I go. If I bring my debit card, I make sure I only put the money I will need in my account, so I don’t overspend. 

- try challenging yourself to save cash for a month. a popular challenge right now is the $5 challenge, where you save every $5 bill you get for a month up to one year. 

- pack your lunches and snacks. avoid spending money at your school cafeteria/restaurants as much as you can. I will even plan my lunches and snacks every sunday for each week, so I don’t have any excuse to not make my lunch the night before. 

- shop and eat out at places that have customer rewards systems/credit. if you’re gonna spend money, you might as well save some because of it. 

- become a couponer cause why not. 

What are some ways you make or save your money?

[sportingsims]

because i'm extra i ask all the aesthetic asks lmaooo good luCK

I’M SO GONNA KILL YAAA >:)

[Aesthetic questions under the cut cuz ya know, ma lovely friend asked them all and I dont wanna spam your dash with all my crap]

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

right now xD last theater by noicell btw

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

hmm if I’m going to be healthy forever? xD

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I want to become a biologist/ethologist

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

SUM41 CONCERT ayyy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

yes! right now I’m doing, literally, nothing so I’d change many things - starting by going back to college

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

kind of..

1- interrail around the europe or world traveling

2- become ethologist

3- make you suffer for making me answer all of these >:) (jk xD)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

my bestfriend. well she’s just like me? we’re actually similar, but she has curly hair and I have straight hair xD we like the same things. she loves pizza, cheese & coffee okay she lives for that. If you just met her..you would just think: why isn’t this noob at a house for crazy people? she’s awesome :)

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I did :)

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

probably not so long ago..probably in front of my mum

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

it depends maybe yes, maybe not. If I feel I can trust that stranger, I’d probably open myself

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

it was on my bestfriends bday and they were my beloved 3 bestfriends, which I truly hate from the deepest part of my stoned heart

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I can’t choose ONE person. I’d gather my family and close friends in a family reunion and say how much I appreciated all they did for me while I was between them and that I’ll be them ;)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

I LIKE BROWN EYES!

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“I’ve tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter”

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

how to be a proper drama queen XD

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

travel around the world with ma dudes and family & help my family in money needs or people I saw that really needed and ofc keep some for me for concerts and college xD

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

yes I am, and yes I do

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

RUTE DON’T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT SCHOOL AND GET OVER YOUR VOMIT PHOBIA IT WILL RUIN YOUR COLLEGE!

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I love both piercings and tattoos. I don’t feel like they show the inside of a person and that people should be considered less bc they have them. I HATE when someone doesn’t get a job or is side looked bc they’re tattooed or have piercings..I mean wtf??

I’m waiting for the day I have courage to make a tattoo tbh (I’m a chicken, like my brother says..)

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

nope. dunno? I just don’t like & too much work?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Linkin Park .. all of their songs.. just read them, you’ll understand

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

LET’S DRINK COFFEE & WATCH HARRY POTTER TOGETHER

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

by order: Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Limp Bizkit, The Offspring, Linkin Park, The Smashing Pumpkins, Queens of the stone age, Linkin Park again, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, SUM41.. and I’m going to Guns n Roses

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

that’s a secret xx

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

oh yes very organized xD

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

music & sleep listening to music

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

soo many things

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I’d like to dye it white or black? or dark red? omg dont know

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

i’d pick my bestfriends (3) + 2 close friends and maybe we could go into an interrail

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

get over my phobia: bc it means I’m better and I’m able to control myself and live alone without being stuck with this stupid problem that haunts me :)

finish my biology course: bc duhh I wanna be a biologist!

be happy!: who doesn’t want to be happy?

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

me as a ghost - I was sooo beautiful :)

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I was never drunk or high

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

murder

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

listen to one song, bc I cant pick ONE person

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

yes - I am in love right now. and I’m not describing it bc I hate talking about feelings, but let say it sucks, particularly when the other part doesn’t feel the same as you.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

if I were a boy.. well I dont know? maybe If I was a emo/punk boy or if I just wanted to

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

just ya know the normal americano.. no one! my friends would trick me

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

my health :)

YOU KNOW I TOOK LOTS OF TIME DOING THIS?!!! obrigada anywayyy

[sainttheosylas]

all the aesthetic questions

(Btw @cyrusgavar sent me all this questions so you all know they rock)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?I don’t sing to myself but I talk to myself literally every day.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?I’d ask if my parents really love me.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?I haven’t done many impressive things with my life, and I’ve missed out on some stuff I wish i could have achieved. But I’d say my biggest achievement is who’ve I’ve become and the attitude I’ve curated. I used to have extreme anger issues that held me back and I’ve had to conquer that. Very few people actually have to go through such dramatic personality change like that in order to progress in life so I think I’m rather proud of my personal character development.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?I’d say my most recent happy memory is playing DM at my first D&D campaign with my friends and hearing afterwards how much fun they had even if I was pretty nervous and afraid I was doing something wrong the entire time.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?I think the first thing I would start doing if I knew I was going to die would be being more honest. I feel like I’ve held my tongue all my life and I have always wanted to speak my mind more. In addition, I think I would try to speak to other people to create the change I want to see in the world and leave a legacy.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?I don’t have a written bucket list per se but I do say three things I definitively want to do before I die. I want to explore Seattle alone, get a job that I’m happy at and see my friends Chase and Robin in the flesh.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.They look exactly like every single blonde heartthrob from the 90s with like three more inches of hair. I don’t think they’ve even touched a bra in their entire life even though they should probably wear one and they’ve got really cute selfies. Also I’m totally doing their make up if we ever see each other in the flesh.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Oh HELL no. I don’t want to go into detail on such a public forum but the people closest to me really understand how horrid my childhood was.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Last Thursday in front of my maternal grandma, actually.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.@im-bravo she’s pretty cool.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?oh definitely if they were up for it I’m a pretty sociable person and I’m always looking to make new friends. But having mutual interest is one of the most important things in a new friend for me so my standards are a little bit high since my interest can be a little obscure at times.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?Dude I’m not awake at 3 AM. if I’m awake at 12 AM it’s a miracle.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?I think I’ll try something pragmatic. I’ll go up to a judge and write my last will and testament dividing all my worldly possessions and money.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?Well I have them. They’re pretty okay. I wish my mom would stop saying brown eyes mean I’m full of shit, though.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.“This now, this us, we can cope with that.” -Cecil Baldwin Basically I like this quote as it will basically says ‘we can cope with that’ and well, frankly coping is about all I can do right now.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?'Drafting plans for a Powder Palace’

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?First things first I’m going to get the hell out of here and go to where my friends are. Then I’m going to donate like 2 million to ACLU and Planned Parenthood. Then I’ll probably just stick a bunch of it in stocks and bonds well I think of the next thing to do.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?I think I’m a pretty forgiving person but it’s also because I can’t stand up for myself and if I can even hold a grudge its hard for me to act upon it.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.“Dear 12 year old me: everything is super shitty and mind numbingly bland right now but just give it a while and you’ll escape. One thing I will need to stop doing is procrastinating and I also want you to speak your mind a little more. Also do anything you can to not be boring and see as much of the world as you can because HOO BOY was your childhood boring you need to exercise your brain with new experiences.”

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?PASTEL.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I really want a dragonfly tattoo and I’ve got a few pretty interesting ideas drawn up and I doing a few piercing but my mom hates facial piercing so I can’t get one. A mouth piercing would be pretty cool though.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?I usually don’t wear make up on school days unless something important’s going on since it takes so much time to put on but when I’m going to the mall or out of town I tend to put on some make up. Eyeshadow, eyeliner and all that.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.can’t say I can think of a song/band that affected me in a particularly noteworthy way.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.'Read Ava’s Demon and shoot Donald Trump.’

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.Never been to a concert in my life.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?I’d say I really want a letter from Michelle Czajkowski. Maybe some artistic encouragement or behind the scenes looks on how she makes her own art or own comic.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?My desk is pretty dang organized usually it’s only disorganized for a few hours or so until I reorganize it.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?Hang out on couch for several hours, get tired, grab my dog, read fan fiction, fall asleep.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?Just one thing?

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?I probably go for a dark purple to lavender gradient. Not that you can get a good gradient in a pixie cut.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?Chase, Robin, I.M. Bravo, Michelle Czajkowski, and @accordingtomyresearch and we’re all hitting up Seattle

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.I’d wish for financial security, the confidence to do what I really need to do, and the belief in myself to work on my artistic skills until I am as good as the people I admire.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. I put together a pretty hot greaser costume last year. Turns out i can rock slicked back hair.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?The craziest thing I’ve done while high was knit while watching a horror movie/ roleplay a sad, drunk Damara.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?Say something positive about Donald Trump.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?This question fucking sucks. One song because I cannot survive only seen one person.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.I had a crush on this one girl in middle school but definitely wasn’t love. I’m never felt romantic love for anyone but I do know that I love the world and I love all my friends deeply and platonically and warm way that few others understand because they see love as exclusively romantic.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?considering I’ve had a pixie cut for over a year now I’d say I would.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?Dude I don’t go to Starbucks their water tastes burnt.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?I took the most important thing in my life right now are the steps I’m about to take into independence and adult hood.

[love-ya-tommo-row]

Unfortunately, it is impossible to be in Louiedom without forming an opinion on “babygate”.

My opinion is basically this- I really don’t like the way people talk about Briana. I don’t like that people say cruel things and treat her as a prop, rather than a real person. I also think she is the mother of Freddie- as my father once charmingly put it, “Women have babies and men have maybes.” It’s substantially harder to fake maternity than paternity. I don’t think the pregnancy was faked.

But really, on the subject of paternity, there are only three possibilities. A) Both Louis and Briana know there’s no way he’s the father, B) Both Louis and Briana have reason to think he might be the father, C) Briana knows he’s the father and Louis knows there’s a possibility he might be the father. But during 2015, when the weirdest press that convinced everyone it was a stunt was coming out, there was no way to objectively confirm paternity, if there was any doubt. While CVS and amniocentesis can technically be used for that purpose, they almost never are because they’re invasive procedures that carry a small risk of miscarriage, and Briana would be entirely within her rights to refuse any request she submit to such a procedure. So everything was based off her word- I strongly suspect she was the ‘instigator’ of babygate, and the weird press was 1DHQ trying to get out ahead of her.

But the thing that struck me was, regardless of paternity and regardless of which of the three scenarios above was true, Briana has a rational reason to claim Louis is the father, 1DHQ has strong business motivations to go along with her claim, and Louis would experience strong pressure on both a business and personal level to go along with stories that he seemed really uncomfortable about.

More thoughts under the cut

Freddie’s birthday means he was conceived sometime between the last week of April and the first week of May, basically. Briana had publicly available photographic proof she was clubbing with Louis and getting cuddly with him three dates within that time frame (5/5, 5/7, 5/9). With a positive pregnancy test, she had leverage to name Louis as the father and potentially sell the story. It could’ve become a drawn out he said-she said if they chose to fight it. But when would she have found out she was pregnant?

I was really curious how the “It’s not real” incident lined up with the conception date. Too early and it would be before either he or Briana could’ve known she was pregnant. But the date (6/27) is just past the 7 weeks mark for fetal age (or 9 weeks if you go by LMP)- pretty much the earliest she could’ve possibly known she was pregnant. So was he making a joke about the doll, or was he thinking about Briana, maybe suspecting she was faking a pregnancy or that it wasn’t his? It’s also interesting to me that Liam joins in with him. He was actually out clubbing with Louis and Briana and the rest of their crew on 5/7, one of the potential conception dates, and shortly after, on 5/11.

The pregnancy is publicly announced on 7/14. People have commented that announcing in the 1st trimester is pretty brazen, and almost totally unheard of in celebrity cases. But Briana isn’t actually a celebrity. She’s an unknown stylist from a normal middle class family in LA. She wants to avoid being pushed under a rug, and she wants attention to promote her career. I am a little curious if she knew the hiatus was coming- she was clubbing with both Louis and Liam and their crew, and while I think a lot of the details were still being fought over (ie, whether or not to tour MITAM) the writing was on the wall by that point in 2015. Did she know she had less than a year of 1D press to try and raise her career profile?

Regardless of the above wild speculation, I don’t know any 23 year old who’s never had a miscarriage before who thinks “I should probably be discreet about this until the 2nd trimester, just in case.” I think it’s reasonable to assume she thought “Oh fuck, I’m going to have a baby, what should I do?” And naming Louis as the father clearly makes sense. Either she knows for a fact he’s the father, in which case her motivations are obvious, she suspects he may be the father, in which case he’s the best to name because he’s clearly the guy who’d best be able to provide her and her child with financial stability, at least through the pregnancy, or she knows he’s not the father but maybe hoped they’d pay her to keep quiet.

Which then brings up the very good question- why didn’t they pay her to keep quiet? Or, alternatively, why didn’t she take the money? I think timing, and the hiatus, is key here. The whole ‘babygate’ thing was unfolding all of three months out from Zayn leaving the band, and a year after “the weed video”. They knew the hiatus was upcoming at the end, though again, who knows how many details were still being negotiated. I think getting through the last four months of tour without a major scandal was the main goal. The only thing less wholesome than a boybander having an oops-baby is a boybander involved in an ugly public paternity suit that would almost certainly devolve into allegations of substance abuse. Even if Louis wanted to fight the allegation of paternity, even if he said he’d never had sex with her before in his life, I think his management and PR team did not give a shit about him personally and would’ve had strong motivations to lean on him shut up and let them put a ‘positive spin’ on things. Rather than trying to bury the story, it seems like they tried to get out ahead of it to prevent any “leaks”. Saying he and Briana “briefly dated” is the most anodyne way possible to describe “allegedly hooked up while clubbing”, and every headline wasn’t just Louis Tomlinson is having a baby, it’s Louis Tomlinson is HAPPY to be having a baby, he’s EXCITED to be a dad, this is fine!! Absolutely no scandal here!! As for her not taking the money, again, either she knows or reasonably suspects he’s the father, in which case she held out because public acknowledgement of her child was more valuable to her, or they just didn’t try to pay her off and jumped into reaction mode, at which point she could hardly say, “Oh, wait, no, I take it back.”

And on a personal level, I think Louis’ background is salient here. I don’t know any man raised by a single mom with an estranged dad who didn’t carry a quiet fear of replaying that in their own lives. So if he had any reason to suspect he may be the father of Briana’s baby, he would’ve experienced pressure to not only go along with it for the sake of the band, but personal pressure to “step up”. Even if he knew he wasn’t the father, if he wasn’t believed, he would’ve experienced this same pressure, just based on appearances.

So then, at the birth- I don’t see what’s so weird about him stepping out to wander around a shop. He wasn’t in a relationship with Briana, why would she want him there? Why should he burden her and her family by awkwardly hanging around at a very stressful point in their lives? Why should he wait in the waiting room for however many hours? I know a man, who is indisputably the father of his child, who went across the street to Starbucks while his wife got an emergency Caesarean, which is waaaaaaay more insensitive. Sometimes people do weird or stupid stuff. If babygate was a planned PR stunt, why have Louis get bored and get photographed buying sunglasses? Why not avoid the hospital all together, or only take “happy dad” photos? There’s some interesting studies of attachment- most women are attached to their babies by the 3rd trimester, but most men don’t form an attachment until they hold the child. IDK, again, obviously there’s multiple ways to view the situation, but “Louis felt ambivalent about the whole thing and wanted to step out for a bit” isn’t...like, proof he’s a bad dad or super bizarre like a lot of people make it out to be.

So Freddie is born (I love the fact he’s named after Freddie Mercury btw, lmao). I think, by that point, Louis had been pretty thoroughly gaslit by everyone around him, regardless of whether he suspects he’s the father or knows he isn’t. He’s spent the better part of 6 months being forced to talk about being a dad, but this is also probably the lowest point in his career. He had literally just lost the job he’d dedicated himself to for 5 years, and I think that he legitimately had to have a little grieving period for 1D. So why not confirm with a paternity test at this point? Maybe he’s being pressured not to rock the boat, maybe he’d feel like a heel for publicly talking about the kid then immediately pressing for a paternity test, maybe he just doesn’t feel like making a fuss. I think he stayed in LA as much for his family’s sake as anything, because, at the risk of overspeculating, if Jay had any reason to think Louis was a father, I think she’d want him to be there for the baby. It is striking, when you look at 2016, the timing of his stay. He’s in LA for 2/3 of the first four months, and almost entirely out of town the last four months of the year. Then in 2017, he starts really working towards a solo career, publicly states he wants Freddie to have privacy, establishes legal custody, then isn’t publicly photographed with him after December 2017.

The custody issue is a whole other thing. If Briana was paid off by 1DHQ, why start shit over his right to see the child? If the stories are planted, why plant them? If the goal is to give Louis the ultimate signifier of heterosexuality, why not play happy families, and if the goal is to humiliate him, having him portrayed as the beleagued father fighting for his rights doesn’t seem that humiliating. IDK. To be fair though, on the other hand, if Briana knows or suspects Louis isn’t the father, that might explain her reluctance to allow him access, while she can’t publicly say he isn’t the father without losing his financial support. It’s also a bit odd to allegedly fight for 50-50 custody then not use that right, but it might’ve been pressure as I think his main goal was to limit the amount of social media pictures she (and her family) circulated of Freddie. You can’t legally prevent a mom from posting pics of her child, except by preventing her from taking those photos. A sort of “cut this shit out or I’ll take him for half the year” thing. Which is maybe a little shitty, but not unjustified- seeking to maximize his legal rights to protect his image is not bad or evil.

As for Freddie being in the care of his grandparents a lot of the time... Like, while a young single mom deputizing her parents to provide a lion’s share of caregiving for her child is perhaps not admirable, it’s hardly unusual. Plus, it seems like half the times we see him with his grandparents, they’re out and about or on vacation? Which seems like a reasonable time for them to be babysitting him, or spending a lot of time with him. Those kind of caregiving arrangements really are just a family matter.

I do get really bothered when I see people say “babygate” must be true, because otherwise Louis would be a bad person and they’d hate him. My own moral sense is very different, haha. To me, it’s much shadier to comply with a publicity stunt involving the life of a real, literal preschooler. Like, image contracts, I understand, but sometimes you HAVE to break a contract. Having a child with a woman you don’t love, seeing that child a few times a year, and paying your child support on time is absolutely not immoral in my mind. I would still be a Louis fan if he did, as they say ‘*** **’, but I am also a fan of him if Freddie is his child.

I think I’ve exhausted almost everything I have to say on this topic haha? Oh, wait, the kid is a leggy 3 year old. He would be a very young looking 5 year old. I work with young children every day, and in every photo I’ve seen of him he ‘appears his stated age’ as they say in the business. So yeah, that’s well and truly out of my system, I think!

In conclusion, I think ‘babygate’ was PR weirdness springing from 1DHQ being their reactionary selves in the last few months of 1D and just generally not giving a shit about Louis on a personal level, I think he’s done his best to minimize this whole thing and good for him, really, I have no bad feelings towards him regardless of which scenario is true. Either he is the father, and he’s paying his child support, or he’s not the father and he’s still paying child support. Anything beyond that does not affect my enjoyment of his music. I think Briana would have rational reasons to behave as she did regardless of her knowledge of Louis’ paternity, and wanting to use a famous connection to try and find financial security and be an Instagram influencer is hardly the worst thing in the world. I don’t like or care about her, but like, she’s not the devil. She had an unplanned pregnancy and she tried to make the best of it. I personally can’t hate her for that. Being catty and mean online is fun, I also enjoy making the occasional catty comment, but I wish people wouldn’t make catty mean comments about, again, a literal actual preschooler.