#this is my old man conspiracy theory

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I always wonder with the whole: "The lazy populous doesn't want to work!" is if it's only being said to keep minimum wage at the very, very lowest end of 'survivability.'

The "lazy worker" isn't truly a problem. The employers are.

[calcified--heart]

HEY GIRL WHAT THE FUCK

[gideongaye]

i love how for some certain people the idea that mass pollution from factories and such over the decades leading us to the screwed up weather and temperatures we have today is too far fetched but the (shadow) government(s) having powerful weather machines that can make fucking hurricanes et cetra and control how hot/cold it is outside? Now thats the sensible explanation to the changes in the weather.

[saltymarshmall0w]

Danny is "in denial" about the Waynes being vigilantes

Danny is really grateful for the Waynes taking him in and all but it’s just… it’s really obvious they’re vigilantes. Do they WANT him to find out? Why?? To join their battalion?

Hell nah. He’s already got enough going on trying to keep in check the many shades in the city.

Danny simply pretends to be oblivious about the Waynes being vigilantes. That's a future Danny problem.

It turns into Kyle levels of denial, where he ends up pretending he thinks the vigilantes are actors hired by the city to cover up all the ghosts haunting Gotham.

And obviously, the city bases them on the infamously growing Wayne family. It's so sweet of the Waynes to volunteer to dress up as their character for public appearances.

Meanwhile, Bruce has banned outright telling Danny even though it's been nearly a year of him living with them. So what if Danny glows sometimes and has full conversations with invisible people in dark alleyways, everyone has their quirks! so, the Batkids have resolved to just "accidentally" leave their mask on after patrol or make tactical plans loudly about taking down Penguin's latest scheme with Danny a room over.

-

“Is Dick coming to the Gala?” Danny asked as his head swiveled between his phone and the mirror as he attempted to tie his own tie. How did his mom always make it look so easy?

“No, he is going out as Batman tonight, since Father is unable to.” Damian responded. He may as well be blasé about their identities, seeing as Fenton was obviously both completely aware of their identities and completely in denial.

“Oh, man. Does that mean one of the “rouges” are going to attack the gala?” Danny asked, “It’s probably going to be that Two-face guy, huh? He hasn’t made an appearance in a while and his character arc with “Brucie” hasn’t made any progress in a while.”

“Nonsense, there is no predicting the mindset of a criminal like Two-face.” Damian ignored Danny’s disbelieving scoff as he maneuvered his newest brother to face him so he could take over the task for him, else they would be standing there all night. “Besides, Drake is in charge of security for the gala and will do an adequate job securing the venue. If you are afraid remain by my side where I can protect you.”

Damian tightened the tie around Danny's neck and stepped back to let Fenton pull his own collar down.

"That's very sweet of you, Dami." Danny reached up a hand and mussed up Damian's newly-gelled hair, garnering a growl and a shove from the boy. "But you should do normal kid things during the gala, like accidentally saying rude things to old ladies, or complaining about how bored you are, and don't forget to prank all the evil billionaires."

...

The “I told you so.” Danny brazenly mouthed to Damian later in the evening from where Two-face held a gun to his head was as infuriating as it was distressing.

—

(Kyle Weston is the fanon brother of Wes Weston (also a fanon character) who’s whole thing is that he believes in conspiracy theories like Wes, but doesn’t believe in ghosts at all to Wes’s frustration.)

[icy-hot-slut]

I love pyramid conspiracies because they ALL assume ancient humans were incompetent, and if that ain’t the funniest projection-

[der7py]

Yandere Ceo x reader

Damien Sanchez. Easily one of the world'overs biggest ceo owners ever, owning nearly over 50 companies, and being married over 42 different times since he was 18. It was no shocker. He was incredibly crude and stuck up to all of his employees. But he's more soft towards you, little butterfly.

Warnings: Mature language, age gap, implied murder, work abuse, unfair amount of power in the work field, degradation, Slight babying if you squint, unfair treatment, favoritism

Working for the Damien Sanchez was definitely an opportunity you didn't want to pass! Even if all former and current employees were strongly advising against it.

You worked as a receptionist in one of his companies on the first floor. Apparently, each floor was something completely different than the last! But it was advised in the rules you mind your own business on your own floor.

You barely ever saw the boss. But it was fine! You made bank as a receptionist, so running into the boss wasn't really any of your concern. He probably wasn't even that bad!

That was until you heard a strong voice yelling at another employee from the 5th floor.

Apparently, his coffee wasn't brewed right, and that warranted him firing the employee on the spot. Soon, the elevator made a ding, and the big man himself stomped right over to you. You could've sworn all of the employees scattered like rats.

"You! Yes, you! Go brew me a dark coffee. None of that sweet stuff now get going or so help me god I'll fire you too!" You immediately ran to the closet coffee maker to make it for him. You had bills to pay!

You rushed back over with his coffee, where he was impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. You were surprised you didn't spill it everywhere, or fall straight on your face the way you practically threw it in his hands.

_______________________

He sipped his coffee, clearly taking his time while you squirmed under his gaze. Jesus, he really was intimidating with how fast your job could be on the line. "Mm... good job. What's your name?" He asked, raising a brow at you and your squirming figure. You immediately straightened up, letting out a silent sigh of relief. "Y/n Mr. Sanchez!" He nodded his head, snapping his fingers as he drank more of his coffee. "How unique. Anyways, you're moving up in the ranks, kid. 10th floor as my new assistant, get your bags." Without another word, he walked to the elevator and took it all the way back up.

Holy shit. Holy shit! Did you just get promoted?! This job was even better than what you thought! You wasted no time packing everything up and running to the elevator, a big grin on your face. You were eating good this week! As you checked your phone to tell your friends and family the good news, you forgot you had an article about your boss pulled up.

It was no surprise to anyone that your boss had been married 42 different times. You did admire him for his pull game, but figured he had bad luck. Maybe they were all gold diggers! But apparently, people had theories of what really was happening. All of his spouses mysteriously disappeared a few days after Damien and his newly wed spouse got married. Then he'd get all the inheritance money and whatever companies they owned, considering all 42 were rich. Some people were theorizing, he murdered them. Man people were crazy with their conspiracy theories.

But you remembered you never did see the old assistant leave the building.

_______________________

He liked how eager you were to take the new position as his assistant. Maybe you wouldn't fuck up as much as his old assistant. The old bastard could barely make a coffee for him.

You took your new role very seriously, and he appreciated that about you. Even if the other employees picked on you for being relatively young. They all disappeared anyway.

Over the few weeks, he found himself drawn to you. You were his little butterfly. So full of life unlike the other scum in all of his companies.

He made sure to be extra careful and lenient with you. Oh, you accidentally misfiled an extremely important file? Oh, it's fine, darling. He used to make that mistake all the time.

Oh, you spilled coffee on his brand new outfit? It's fine, little butterfly, he has the same outfit 5 times just in case.

But anytime, any other employee dare make a mistake as little as dropping a staple while he was walking? Fired immediately. What were they thinking? Idiots.

You never noticed how much more soft he was with you. And he was determined to keep it that way. He didn't want you getting hurt over any special treatment you definitely might be receiving.

He felt alive with you. Hell! Sometimes, he upped your pay just because you smiled at him! You really were a precious angel that needed to be protected. A butterfly with delicate wings.

Just quit researching about his past spouses' disappearances, or else he'll have to clip those pretty little wings before you fly too far and find out what really happened.

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 15 – The One Where I Try to Convince You of Just About Anything

“Don’t compromise yourself. Wait for the right person because you’re worth it.”

These were Nicola’s words the night of the London premiere when she was asked what dating advice she had for viewers. This quote has always stuck with me. Not because it’s actually great advice or emits wisdom well beyond Nicola’s years but because I can still remember the odd sense of foreboding that I felt as I listened to her words. They were just as poignant, if not more so, than the words that first invited me aboard this ship (Luke’s comments in Australia about friends-to-lovers).

And, although Luke “agree[d] with all of the above,” Nicola’s comment always struck me as making Luke uncomfortable. That interaction seemed off somehow. Awkward and strange in a way I wasn’t used to after two months of watching a rom-com style World Tour. In hindsight, and in a rather ominous way, the discomfort I felt alluded to what would happen later that evening – Luke “hard launching” Antonia.

As I was scribbling out today’s post and, honestly, struggling with how I wanted to structure it, I realized that it was not necessarily post-Papsmear (a/k/a Hot Boy Summer) people had an issue with. Instead, it seemed many people were having a hard time understanding – and accepting – Antonia’s existence in the Lukola-verse. This confusion, of course, led many to their own internal battlefield of trying to rationalize Luke’s behavior during that relatively short seven-week period. The reality is no one wants Luke to be the “Bad Guy;” therefore, people struggle to look at Hot Boy Summer with neutrality.

Don’t worry, I’m guilty, too.

I mean, Papsmear went down like a guillotine on a French – uh, well, nevermind that part. Let’s just say it did not go over well with the fandom. After months of “Romancing Mr. Bridgerton,” Luke was photographed walking into a hotel with Antonia snapping at his heels, sending the Lukola fandom into convulsions. What made it worse was that this was the night of the London premiere, the last leg of the World Tour. So long, motherfucking London!

The dark side of the fandom painted Luke as a monster – a man who, in less than three minutes, pissed on the Season 3 World Tour and broke Lukola hearts all over the world by seemingly choosing Antonia over Nicola. And, not only choosing Antonia, but flaunting her. People felt betrayed, shadowed by the possibility that Luke and Nicola had hoodwinked them with a fake PR romance and dumbfounded that Mr. I’m-Publicly-Single had a “girlfriend” (yes, that word is always up for speculation in this fandom). But, as with every dismal situation, you had the light bringers – the true-to-heart Lukolas – firing up on all cylinders and calling, “Foul!” in the direction of Antonia. A few of the less classy ones even picked up bits of old salad they’d found in a dumpster and tossed it in her direction (heehee, did you get my Dad Joke?).

And so Hot Boy Summer began…as did the confusion surrounding it.

In the beginning, I absolutely wanted Antonia to be the villain. But I’ve found that the more I write, the more indifferent I have become on the subject. Of course, that didn’t stop me from theorizing with friends. In fact, at one point, I had so many thoughts on the matter, if I had mapped them out on paper, they’d have resembled a spider’s web, with the hub being Papsmear. However, what I’ve discovered is that each of those theories, regardless of how simple or convoluted they were, took root in one of three central ideas.

That’s what I want to discuss today – those three central ideas from which every one of your sub-theories likely takes root (unless, of course, you’re the conspiracy theorist that believes Antonia is AI generated…). I want to lay out why I believe these theories are plausible (yes, prepare yourself to read some shit you almost certainly won’t find entertaining) countered by why I believe they may be out in left field. Maybe, just maybe, they will shed some light on Hot Boy Summer. But, also, maybe they won’t.

Okay, our three central theories are:

A) Luke and Nicola were simply PR-ing the fuck out of Polin.

B) Luke and Nicola were legit in their feels and Antonia became the jilted girlfriend.

C) Antonia was a PR girlfriend because [feel free to insert any reason you please].

We’re going to get the one nobody wants to consider out of the way first.

THEORY A: Nicola and Luke had a PR card up their sleeve the entire time.

I don’t like this theory any more than you do – the idea that Luke and Nicola were merely playing the part of two infatuated costars during the World Tour. However, this theory does exist, so there is no point in pretending that it doesn’t.

The backbone of this theory is that Luke and Nicola came to some kind of agreement to behave in a certain flirtatious manner during the World Tour to promote viewership of the show. As annoying as this theory is to the Lukolas, it is not unrealistic. For example, Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney recently admitted to using the dating rumors that began while they were filming to build buzz around their movie, “Anyone But You.” Regardless of how reckless I find this behavior to be, I don’t doubt that we will start seeing it utilized more and more because it does help build interest in a project. That said, and although she admittedly leaned into the Powell romance rumors, Sweeney had an easy out once their press tour ended – she was (and still is) engaged to her long-time partner.

Now, let’s apply this PR romance to Luke and Nicola. It is entirely possible that these two simply played into their natural chemistry and allowed the romance rumors to fuel Polin. We could even go as far as to suggest that Netflix & Co. supported this PR romance because more viewers equaled more money. This, to some degree, also fits with the narrative that Luke seemingly kept Antonia out of the spotlight during the World Tour and, although it was terrible timing, launched her at the London premiere because he was tired of the fake PR. We could also make a convincing argument that this theory aligns with Luke and Nicola never addressing the status of their relationship (i.e., by never openly admitting they were “just friends,” they leave room for speculation and shipping).

To be honest, this would be a nice and tidy answer for how the World Tour went down, with Luke stepping in an elephant-sized pile of dog shit on his way out of the London afterparty and Nicola swooping into to play PR Hero by promoting Season 3 throughout the summer. Meaning, Hot Boy Summer was simply what it appeared to be at surface level – Luke running off with his girlfriend while Nicola continued promoting Season 3 on her own. Sure, this theory would leave us all feeling like we had just been kicked in the teeth, but we could absolutely package it up quite nicely and tie it with a little pink bow. However – nothing is ever that simple, is it?

There are some things that make me question the plausibility of this Luke-and-Nicola-PR-Romance theory, namely, (a) Luke and Nicola’s World Tour behavior, (b) comments made by interviewers, (c) the Claddagh ring, (d) the side trip to Galway, and (e) Chaos Week.

Regarding Luke and Nicola’s behavior towards each other during the World Tour, I don’t believe I need to go into too much detail here. Again, we all watched the same World Tour, and we all had the same reaction to their chemistry. Hell, the Jakolas started out on this side of the fandom because they also saw something between Luke and Nicola. However, to play Devil’s advocate, I will suggest that Luke and Nicola could absolutely be the next Daniel Day Lewis and Meryl Streep, method acting their way through the World Tour. But, in my honest opinion, they’re not. They’re both lovely actors but they don’t compare to the two I just named (sorry, but also not sorry).

I honestly debated with myself as to whether I wanted to include interviewer comments under this section. I finally relented and decided to do so because, for me, it was one of those things that made me question the plausibility of Luke and Nicola being strictly PR during the World Tour – because, yes, I did consider that back in May. For example, in response to Luke drinking from Nicola’s tea cup in Australia, when asked about it, the interviewer, Rachael Evren, responded, “They’re in[ ]love it’s fine.” Also in Australia, we listened to the back and forth between podcasters, Laura Brodnik and Em Vernem, debate Luke and Nicola’s real-life relationship:

Em: “I can’t believe you got her to say such juicy things about their chemistry.”

Laura: “They’re best friends and stuff, yeah, people think they’re together. They’re not, they’re just best friends.”

Em: “No, but they are.”

Laura: “Oh, don’t start that rumor. I want it on the record I’m not saying that.”

Em: “Well, I feel like after you watch Bridgerton Season 3 you would be like, ‘Oh yeah, they’re definitely dating.’”

By the time Luke and Nicola reached Canada, you had interviewers being quite obviously taken with their chemistry. For example, The Morning Show in Canada – have you ever watched Carolyn Mackenzie’s face when Luke and Nicola get into that Ryan Gosling discussion? Or, have you listened to the surprise in Karen Koster’s voice (“it’s like the carriage scene”) after witnessing Nicola touch Luke’s forehead on Ireland AM? Then you had Meredith Shaw from BT Canada and Ciara Kelly from Newstalk boldly asking Luke and Nicola about their real-life relationship, and Ben Shepherd from This Morning calling them out about the Carriage Scene (“you’re blaming the soundproof carriage, not the fact you got lost in the moment”).

And, then we had the written print:

On May 16, 2024, Shondaland’s Valentina Valentini wrote: “But throughout the past three seasons, it’s been a slow-burn anticipation for Newton and Coughlan, who have genuinely become real-life best friends in that span of time. Parallel to that, their on-screen characters have given us such a perfect crescendo of what it’s like to fall in love over decades that I’m not entirely convinced that the real-life people sitting in front of me are not actually in love. ‘Yeah! We’ve kept that one really secret!’ Coughlan jests when I hint at the possibility.”

And, in her June 14, 2024 publication, Fashion’s Annika Lautens wrote: “Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton can’t stop looking at each other. I mean, they really can’t. As I enter their suite in the Four Seasons Hotel Toronto to interview the Bridgerton stars, all I can hear is laughter. Coughlan is leaning over to show Newton something on her phone. He throws his head back, giggling. It feels extremely intimate but, as the world has seen through countless clips on TikTok and on the third season of Bridgerton…this is just your average Tuesday for the two co-stars.”

These third-party reactions alone – in my opinion – debunk the Luke-and-Nicola-PR-Romance theory, but we will keep moving along.

I am not going to reexamine the Claddagh ring or Chaos Week in this entry as I have already gone into extensive detail of both in my blog Entries 6 and 14, respectively. If you’re behind on the significance of the Claddagh ring or Chaos Week, please take a moment and read those for more context. However, I will briefly discuss that special trip to Galway.

I’ve never quite followed why Nicola and Luke took that side trip to Galway. There was no special visit to Brighton – or wherever Luke’s family lives – so why Galway? I often find myself straddling the line between logic and delulu when I put my thoughts about Lukola on paper. I mean, from a logical standpoint, they were in Dublin so visiting Nicola’s hometown while they were on the island isn’t that farfetched. But to film it? Okay, yeah sure, Nicola is Shonda’s alleged favorite child, so I suppose it’s possible Shonda granted Nicola’s wish to flaunt Bridgerton in her hometown. I can honestly see this fitting into the Luke-and-Nicola-PR-Romance narrative. But –

It also doesn’t fit.

Sending Luke and Nicola to Galway was too close to home. It crossed the line between what could be excused as PR and what was clearly personal.

Not only did we have Nicola wearing her Claddagh ring in Galway in a manner that suggested she was in a relationship, but we also had her introducing Luke to her mother for the first time in what appeared to be an emotional moment. I have tried to convince myself this Mother-Meets-Luke thing was perfectly normal costar behavior. I have tried to convince myself that her sister-in-law’s reaction to Mother-Meets-Luke didn’t make me side-eye the entire situation. I have tried to convince myself that the Irish folks I’ve spoken with are exaggerating the significance of the Mother-Meets-Luke moment. I have also tried to convince myself there isn’t additional footage out there of this Galway Gathering just waiting to surface.

But, ugh, I just cannot convince myself that Luke and Nicola were strictly PR. This theory is as confusing as Sanrio telling us that Hello Kitty is really a human girl.

Verdict: NOT GUILTY.

Yes, we are marking this one as debunked.

THEORY B: Antonia became Luke’s jilted ex-girlfriend.

Hey, hey, USS Lutonia! I’ve got your flank.

No, actually I don’t. If the USS Lutonia was ever afloat, it sank somewhere off the coast of Italy. Sorry, but not really because I didn’t mourn you even a teensy bit.

I will preface this section by asserting my opinion that Luke and Antonia are not currently in a romantic relationship. Outside of “insinuation” posts made by Antonia, there is no evidence directly linking Luke to Antonia after July 30. Feel free to try to convince me otherwise but, when you do, make sure to include at least one photograph of Luke and Antonia in the same place at the same time with convincing evidence that it is current and that they are a couple (and, no, I will not accept blurry or Photoshopped images or metadata pulled from Instagram as evidence). That said, I will not argue with the idea that Luke and Antonia could have dated at one time. In fact, for this theory to play out, we have to agree that Luke and Antonia dated at some point.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Luke and Antonia dated before, during, and for a period after the World Tour. In this theory, the chemistry between Luke and Nicola was real (seriously, I think we’ve debunked that PR theory). The Claddagh ring and the side trip to Galway both suggested a romantic relationship between Luke and Nicola. Regardless of how real things were between Luke and Nicola, Luke still had Antonia lurking in the background. Perhaps Luke didn’t know how to break things off with her; maybe his friends and/or family made it difficult; maybe Antonia made things difficult. Everything came to a head at the London premiere, with Luke stepping on a landmine with Papsmear. But, because they can’t help but gravitate towards each other, Luke and Nicola found themselves back together – either immediately after Papsmear or, at the latest, by early August – and have continued their affair since. Oh, and Luke finally got around to breaking things off with Antonia on or after July 30.

This would – in a scorned woman kind of way – explain the “trolling” behavior Antonia was accused of during and after the World Tour. Those random posts that insinuated she was “with Luke,” even though the only evidence that directly linked her to Luke were (1) leaked and/or since-deleted pictures and videos from sources other than Luke, or (2) pictures of Luke’s friend group, which included Antonia, that, from time-to-time, alluded to Luke’s presence. Speaking of the friend group, the fact that Antonia appeared to be part of that group would support the idea that it was difficult for Luke to completely shake Antonia. This theory would also support the cat-and-mouse game played out on social media between Antonia and Nicola, which seemed heightened during and after Hot Boy Summer. Surely, you noticed that pattern by now. At the end of July, Luke’s friend group suffered some kind of catastrophic blow and Luke abandoned ship, officially breaking things off with Antonia as he went. This would explain the continued trolling for which Antonia has been accused; she hates Luke and is jealous of Nicola. Yeah, I can see this theory working. In fact, this is my preferred theory because it is the simplest. However –

For this theory to work, you must accept that Luke and Nicola are not perfect. That the two of them started an affair behind Antonia’s back. That “Nice Guy” Luke isn’t quite as sweet and kind as you have been led to believe; perhaps he’s even a bit of a fool. That “Good Girl” Nicola intervened in someone else’s relationship, making her the “other woman” and a tad disingenuous.  Does this make Luke and Nicola horrible people? No, it makes them two people who found themselves in a situation they didn’t know how to handle properly.

That said, this theory has its flaws.

For starters, it does not explain Luke’s apathy towards Antonia during and after the World Tour. I am not going to deep dive into my thoughts on this as I have already outlined them in “Entry 1: The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post” and “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea.” But, I will reiterate that, to date, Luke has never acknowledged a relationship with Antonia, and he has never made an effort to rescue her from the fandom’s jaws of death. The only consistent link between the two of them was the friend group (that seems to have disbanded) and “insinuation” posts made by Antonia. I am sure there are people out there who will disagree with my next statement, but I don’t consider a New Year’s Eve kiss or a date to a tennis match a “relationship.” That would be like saying “I love you” on your first date (I know, I’ve offended at least one person with this remark – I apologize but I’m still leaving it in). It’s the lack of interaction between Luke and Antonia that makes me question whether they were ever in a real relationship; and therefore, I must question to the validity of this theory.

And, because I know some of you will bring up those goddamn Instagram likes, the only comment I have is, “Get the fuck over it.” For real, it is far more fun to sit back and laugh at the “obligatory likes” than it is to freak out about them. Those likes are the only visible interaction between Luke and Antonia, and it’s becoming less and less frequent. The sad reality is, when Luke stops throwing a like in Antonia’s direction or unfollows her, she may lose the followers she gained after being linked to him. But, honestly, at this point – almost half a year later! – Antonia losing followers is her problem. And as much as I hate to admit it – this whole “like business” suggests some sort of arrangement was put in place post-breakup.

Verdict: HUNG JURY.

It’s a plausible theory – if I could be convinced Luke and Antonia were ever in a real relationship.

THEORY C: Antonia was the Real PR this whole time.

I hope you’ve read “Entry 1: The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post” and, at a minimum, the “Mrs. Danvers” section of “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea” because they both detail my blubbering bullshit thoughts on Luke and Antonia’s “relationship.” I’m not going to rehash them here because I’m confident most of you also find this “relationship” suspicious for the exact same reasons I do.

For the longest time, I believed the absurdly popular “Antonia was the Real PR” [conspiracy] theory to be the fandom’s excuse for not wanting to believe Luke could ever be in a real relationship with Antonia, and that (gasp!) he could have chosen Antonia over Nicola (I mean, what a prick!). In truth, I refused to give this theory much weight until my dad – yes, that guy ­– said to me, “Sounds like PR,” during one of our fireside Lukola chats. My father has a whole sub-theory on this, actually, and yes, I will explain it momentarily.

Honestly, I hate this theory because it’s complicated. And, damn straight, I’m going to throw some Benjamin Franklin at you and say, “Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.” This theory takes things beyond two celebrities playing into romance rumors to boost interest in their project, and brings in a third wheel, Antonia, to – fuck, I have no idea – blur the lines a bit?!

Alright, time for Dad’s theory…

Per my father, this was not just any PR deal; it was an arrangement struck with a “friend of a friend.” No need for an actual third wheel; just someone who was already part of the friend group that could provide the illusion that Luke might have a girlfriend. All they had to do was plant the seed and let the rumor grow, all while never outwardly confirming or denying it; that way the PR relationship could disappear as easily as it was planted.

I allowed my dad to carry on with his theory because, as he pointed out, Antonia being part of the friend group explained why (1) Luke didn’t mind her being around over the summer (it wasn’t personal, it was business), and (2) Luke had no romantic interest in Antonia (she was simply a “friend of a friend”). The fact that my father picked up on this “fandom dilemma” intrigued me.

After listening to my dad’s theory (there’s more, I promise), I spent an afternoon researching “PR relationships” and whether they existed or not. Turns out, they do. Well, they do, if we trust Mr. Google’s search results. It’s a bit of a quid pro quo thing. For example, one, usually more famous person, strikes up a “relationship” with a lesser-known person. The lesser-known person receives exposure while the more famous person receives [fill in the blank]; both gain some kind of benefit from the arrangement.

Now, the question of why Luke would need a PR relationship is – seriously – “fill in the blank” material. Some people have suggested it was to keep Luke and Nicola’s real-life relationship private; some have suggested it was Netflix stepping in to protect Polin if Lukola went south; others have suggested it was to bolster Luke’s image. I find the latter reason offensive because it assumes that having Nicola by his side wouldn’t help his image. But the other two sub-theories are reasonable to me (but also don’t really matter in the scheme of things).

The problem with the Luke-and-Antonia-PR-Romance is that it seems to have gone terribly wrong. What very possibly started out as an “illusion” became “real” with Papsmear. What I find interesting is, like the New York City premiere, Antonia was only seen in the background of the London premiere. Even as Luke was leaving the London afterparty, she went to the car while he met with fans. It wasn’t until they were papped at the hotel, that Antonia was suddenly “next to” Luke grabbing at his hand, thus “launching their relationship.”

Ruh-roh.

My dad’s theory goes on to assume that – after Papsmear – whatever “deal” Antonia was given (for example, Luke’s online support of her Instagram page or invitations to attend certain events over the summer) would be carried out as agreed. However, during that time, Antonia would return to her place in the shadows. I will confess that this is what seemed to happen – Luke never acknowledged a relationship with Antonia and evidence of their relationship seemed virtually non-existent. To the general audience, Antonia was simply a “woman in the background,” unrecognizable by most.

Assuming this PR theory is true, I’d like to believe Antonia was simply doing what she had agreed to do – feed into the illusion of a relationship with “insinuation” posts, for which she could later claim plausible deniability. However, I find this hard to believe when leaked photographs and videos started to surface in July and they were always preceded by DeuxMoi (see, I’m starting to support this theory).

At this point in his theory, my dad quoted a line by Paul McCartney, “You took your lucky break and broke it in two.” What he was saying was Antonia was given an opportunity and, due to her own actions, she mucked it up. She became fame hungry and the insinuations of her being in a relationship with Luke became harder to dispel when they were being leaked online by third party sources. However, as I reminded my father, we cannot prove Antonia was involved with any of the pap pictures. We can speculate, sure, but please keep in mind we cannot prove it.

Did I warn you my dad deep dived into this? Because, haha, he sure did.

By mid-July, per my father’s theory, Nicola was fully aware of the game Antonia was playing and recruited (not the right word, but we’ll go with it) JVN to fire subtle insults into Antonia’s camp with the intent of discrediting her.

The game ended after the Italy pap pictures were published, with Luke seemingly cutting ties with his entire friend group, which included Antonia. However, the game didn’t actually end there, at least not for Antonia. Due to whatever agreement Luke and Antonia had in place before Italy, Luke was still obligated to fulfill his part of the deal. We’re just going to speculate here that part of that included those “obligatory likes” of Antonia’s Instagram posts.

Thank you, Dear Dad, for that rather practical theory.

My issue with this is that Antonia’s antics repeatedly bring hate to Luke’s doorstep. Every time Antonia posts something on Instagram and Luke likes the post, the fandom – namely, the Sincerely Ignorant – get riled up and start slinging hate missiles at Luke (at this point, Luke can’t have nice things). And Antonia slipping things in like that balcony from the Spanish resort doesn’t help to dissuade the fandom from believing her to be a petty bitch.

My initial reaction to this theory was, no way, because at this point Antonia would have breached her contract and Luke wouldn’t still be bound by it. But then I realized, in order to breach it, one had to prove Antonia violated it. Okay, fine. But why not negotiate terminating the agreement early? Oh, well, yes, I suppose it is possible that the cost to do that outweighed the benefit. And, since those “obligatory likes” still seem to be in place – even when they bring Luke hate – I’m going to make a wild guess the agreement remains. For now.

In closing, and since I mentioned that Spanish resort nonsense, the fact that Antonia only ever posts things that insinuate she may have been in the same location as Luke supports the idea that Antonia is simply doing what she agreed to do – create an illusion. So, before anyone starts bashing Antonia, recognize she may simply be complying with her end of the arrangement. She may be just as ready to get out of that agreement as we imagine Luke to be. You know what I’d love to see? Antonia unfollow Luke and be like, “I’m out, bitches!” Honestly, I’d probably give her an “atta girl,” if she did that.

Verdict: HUNG JURY BUT WILLING TO CONSIDER A RETRIAL.

I hate to admit it, but I think this is a plausible theory. Not full proof, but strangely (and annoyingly) credible.

***

Alright, so there you have it. The three central theories that act as the spider web’s hub to all your sub-theories – because I’m certain you have them. You’re welcome to spin off in whatever direction you please, and no, you don’t need to loop me in – because, in truth, I don’t care that much anymore. And that’s not in any way meant to be negative.

For the longest time, trying to rationalize how Hot Boy Summer played out was the missing piece of my Lukola puzzle. I mean, I needed the answer. I needed it so badly; I practically presented an entire Lukola documentary to the wisest person I know – my dad – so he could solve it for me.

Dad: “Why does this matter?”

Me: “I don’t know, it just does. I just want to know what happened.”

Dad: “Will it change your opinion about whether Luke and Nicola are together?”

Me: “No.”

Dad: “Then why does it matter?”

Me: “I don’t know. It just does.”

Dad: “But you’re never going to know, are you?”

Goddammit, no, I’m never going to fucking know.

And, that is the reality of this situation. No matter how many hypotheticals we present, no matter how many sub-theories we create, we will never know what happened over Hot Boy Summer. We will never be able to justify Luke’s behavior during that time. We will never be able to explain with certainty Antonia’s role in this whole shebang.

You may not like that answer. In fact, the theories I presented today may have fueled your ambition to continue trying to solve Hot Boy Summer on your own, or with your friends. I admire that determination. But I also admire those who can let go and accept that it is what it is.

And what it is – and what it will almost certainly always be – is unknown.

[themoonweaversden]

All 179-244 (or so) codes that were found so far (no spoilers)

Note: As far as I'm aware if you input any word after selling your soul to Bill and press the knob you'll get the same result. I still think it's important to highlight the ones that didn't have any result once you imput them normally the day the website updated (AUDIOLOG, BUBBLES, CLEAR, CONTRACT, SMALL) these may have been just an error since it has been fixed since then

#

3466554

29121239168518

333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611

A

ABUELITA

ADASTRAPERASPERA

ALEX HIRSCH / ALEX / HIRSCH

AM I BLANCHIN

ANSWER

AXOLOTL

B

BAAAA

BABY / BABY BILL / LALALALALA / MOMMY / DADDY

BILL / BILL CIPHER / CIPHER / ILLB / LLIB REHPIC / REHPIC

BLACK SHEEP

BLANCHIN / BLANCHING / BLANCH

BLENDIN

BLIND EYE

BOOBERRY

BURN SIDE

BURNED INSIDE

BYE GOLD

C

CAESAR ATBASH VIGENERE / MULTILEVELMARK

CARD

CARYN

CIPHERTOLOGY

CLONE / TYRONE / PAPER JAM

CONSPIRACY

CRAY CRAY

CRYPTOGRAM CODEX

CURSE WITTEBANE

CURSED

D

DEATH

DEER TEETH

DESTRUCTION IS A FORM OF CREATION

DIONARAP

DIPPER

DIPPY FRESH

DISCO GIRL / BABBA

DISNEY / MICKEYMOUSE

DISPENSE MY TREAT

DIVORCE / BREAKUP

DORITO / NACHO / CHIP

DUCHESS APPROVES / THE DUCHESS APPROVES

DUCKTECTIVE

E

EASTER EGG

EMMALINE BUTTERNUBBINS

EUCLID / SCALENE / SCRIMBLES

EUCLYDIA

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES

F

FAMILY MATTERS

FBI / CIA / NSA

FILBRICK

FIXINIT1

FORD / SIXER / STANFORD

FORDTRAMARINE

FORGET THE PAST

FUCK / SHIT / BITCH / SLUT / SEX

FUCK YOU ALEX

G

GIDEON

GIFFANY

GLASS SHARD BEACH

GLOBNAR

GOD / HELP ME / SAVE ME / FRILLIAM

GOODNIGHT SALLY

GRAVITY FALLS

GREBLEY HEMBERDRECK

GUN / THE GUN

H

HAROLDS RAMBLINGS

HECTORING

HEY NERD

HISTORY

HOLOGRAM

HORROR / CREEPYPASTA / ANALOG HORROR

HOTXOLOTL

HOW WILL I DIE / WHEN WILL I DIE

I

IM STILL ON YOUR MIND

IRREGULAR

IS HELL REAL

IS THERE AN AFTERLIFE

J

JOURNAL 1

JOURNAL 2

JOURNAL 3

JUST BLEND IN

JUST FIT IN

K

KINGS OF NEW JERSEY

KOOK

KUBRICK

L

L IS REAL 2401

LIAR LYRE

LIES

LIFE

LOVE / BOYFRIEND / LONELY

LOVE YA BRO

M

MABEL

MASON

MATH / GREECE / SHAPES / GREEK / PLATO / GEOMETRY

MCGUCKET / FIDDLEFORD / OLD MAN MCGUCKET

MEOW / MEOW WOW

MONSTER

MORALITY

MOUNTAIN DONT

MYSTERY

MYSTERY SHACK

N

NAITSUAF

NO

NOT A PHASE

NOTHING

O

OCCURREMUS ITERUM

OH YES THEY BOTH

ONE EYED KING

OROBOROUS

OWL TROWEL

P

PACIFICA

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN

PEAK

PINATA

PINES

PLATINUM PAZ

PORTAL

Q

QUESTION

R

R34LITY

RAT

REALITY

RIDDLE

ROBBIE

RUBBERHOSE

S

SCARY / SPOOKEMUPS / SPOOKY

SCIENTOLOGY

SEASON 1 / SEASON -1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEVEN EYES

SEVERAL TIMES

SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA

SKELETON

SKIBIDI / FORTNITE / ELON / CRYPTO / DOGE / GYATT / RIZZ

SOMETHING

SOOS

SORRY

STAN / STANLEY PINES / STAN PINES / STANLEY

STOD EHT TCENNOC

SUCK IT MERLIN

T

TAD STRANGE

TANTRUM

THE BOOK OF BILL / BOOK OF BILL

THE DUCHESS APPROVES

THEORY / MATPAT

THERAPRISM

THEYLL SEE / THEYLL ALL SEE / I SEE

TINSEL SNAKE

TITANS BLOOD

TJECKLEBURG

TOBY DETERMINED

TORTURE MENTALLY

TOURIST TRAP

TRIANGLE

TRIGONOMETRY

U

UNIONMADE

UNIVERSE

UNREALITY

V

VALLIS CINERIS

VIRUS

W

WADDLES

WEIRD

WEIRDMAGEDDON

WELL WELL WELLBEING

WENDY

WHICH RELIGION IS RIGHT

WHO ARE YOU

X

XGQRTHX

XYLER / CRAZ

Y

YES

YOU CANT KILL AN IDEA

YOURE INSANE

Will update if more are found

[maryannecrimsworth]

Your friendly neighborhood

Pairing: Spiderman! Vi x Journalist! Reader

Summary: Your boss is driving everyone insane because of his suspicion about the Red Spider that's out there fighting crime. Because of that, you decide to discover the hero's identity and prove to your boss she's just a friendly neighborhood

Warnings: mentions of violence, fights, discussion, it's overall fluffy though

Mentions: i was inspired by @champagne-problems-ate 's moodboard so thank u

The friendly neighborhood was making your life a living hell. Your boss — J. Jonah Jameson — was infuriated by the spider-hero roaming New York City’s streets. With every new headline, the Red-Spider showed up with more derogatory names and conspiracy theories. In your opinion, your boss simply couldn’t stomach the idea that a woman with superpowers was doing more for the city than he ever could. Either way, it was your photos and articles being used in the news, so your work was finally gaining some recognition.

The problem was that you couldn’t stand sneaking around the city’s buildings anymore just to get a frame of the Spider-Girl. After months and a few twisted ankles, you were tired of chasing after some weird hero. Your photos always contradicted your boss’s opinions: you captured the Red-Spider helping children, punching criminals, rescuing cats. It was so virtuous it became exhausting — almost like a constant provocation to the Daily Bugle. In the middle of one of your boss’s heated speeches, you impulsively stood up and shouted to the entire office that you’d uncover the Red-Spider’s identity once and for all. That way, Jameson would finally shut up, and you could move on to other stories.

Still, you were done hearing about the Red Spider.

“I swear to God, Vi, I’m gonna punch someone if I hear one more word about her.”

Violet, your little brother’s boxing coach, laughed at your grumpy greeting. Your conversations never began with a "hello" or ended with a "goodbye." They always started with some sudden comment from you.

“You came to the right place!” She pointed to the rings around you. “Just don’t punch your brother; he’ll wipe the floor with you.”

“I doubt it; he’s half my size.” Your words were met with a mocking look from her.

“What? You gonna play tough now?”

“Well, you’re the one looking to pick a fight.” She raised her hands, feigning innocence. “I just make them happen.”

“Perfect job for you, huh? Fighting for money.” There was a teasing tone in your voice, a mix of provocation and irritation. “It’s a shame it messes up your face.”

“There are plenty of people who’d disagree with you.” A smug smile spread across her face. It was a fact — nothing could make Violet unattractive, no matter how many punches she took.

“Vi! Vi!” Your brother’s voice rang out from a ring at the back of the gym. “I beat Vander! I beat him!”

The scene made your eyes widen: your brother, drenched in sweat, raised his arms in victory while Vander struggled to stand. Vander’s legs wobbled, his hands groping for balance on the floor. He was completely dazed.

“Holy shit!” Violet shouted, and the two of you rushed to the ring. “Did you do that?”

Your brother nodded proudly, sweat dripping down his grinning face.

“It’s only the third round, kid. Don’t celebrate too soon.” You relaxed as soon as you heard Vander’s voice. He was okay — even good-humored. “Come on.” The man got up, but a gust of wind seemed to hit him, sending his body swaying to the side.

Violet leapt into the ring, catching Vander with surprising agility.

“Okay, okay.” She used her body to support the large, groggy man. “The fight’s over, old man. Age catches up to us all.”

“Is he alright?” your brother whispered to you, his voice filled with uncertainty. “I thought he was just joking.”

“I think you hit him pretty hard, buddy.”

Your brother’s eyes widened with guilt. Motivated by it, he ran over to Vander and hugged him tightly.

“I’m so sorry, please forgive me!” he practically shouted. “Don’t kick me out of your gym — I really like you guys!”

“Are you kidding?” Vander replied calmly, pushing the boy back by the shoulders to look him in the eye. “You’re gonna be our poster boy! I’ve never seen a fighter like you!”

“I have a great coach!” your brother admitted, his wide, toothy smile drawing laughter from the boxers in front of him.

“Damn right.” Vi ruffled the boy’s sweaty hair with feigned roughness. “Now go practice on the punching bags. No more old men passing out today.”

Your brother, excited, and Vander, offended, obeyed and left the ring. Violet, on the other hand, walked toward you, leaning over the ropes and lowering her face to yours.

“Not gonna get in?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to punch someone.”

“Not you.”

“I can change that real quick.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’d rather you buy me a drink. When can we go out again?”

Violet’s tough facade softened.

“Sorry, I’ve got to work late tonight.” Her excuse was the same every week.

“I’m gonna have to have a serious talk with Vander sooner or later. There’s gotta be some labor law being violated here.”

She laughed, hopped out of the ring, and changed the subject as soon as she landed next to you.

“We’re having a barbecue this Sunday. I can’t promise Powder and Ekko will leave the garage, but I’ll definitely be there.”

“Please tell me Mylo isn’t manning the grill. I don’t want to eat charcoal again.”

“No, no. Claggor’s got it covered!”

Violet seemed genuinely excited about the idea of having her family together for the weekend. Her presence had been a constant at these gatherings for years — ever since the two of you beat up a jerk who had been bothering Powder after school. You hadn’t known either of the sisters, but you refused to let the boy get away unpunished after being such an idiot. From that day on, Violet had been by your side in many fights, victories, and losses. She was there when your parents died, when you learned to drive, and when you got drunk for the first time. She was always by your side — until a few months ago. Years, really.

It was as if a switch had flipped without warning, and a huge distance had grown between you. Suddenly, you only saw her when you took your brother to boxing class, and even then, something felt different. Sometimes her smiles seemed more forced, her eyes more distant.

Something had changed, and you had no idea how to fix it.

“Hey.” Violet’s deep voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere, sorry.” You hid your face in your hand, rubbing your eyes as if trying to wake up. In truth, you were just wiping away the tears that had quickly welled up. “What were you saying?”

“I said Silco promised to bring us more expensive cigars.”

The news from her lips should’ve brought you some joy, but you only shook your head.

“Sounds amazing.” You turned to leave without looking at her. “I’ll let you work. See you later.”

Violet’s fingers — calloused, rough, and warm — wrapped around your wrist with uncommon gentleness. It was detestable, this touch, because it was always followed by that melodic tone:

“Hey.” She whispered, stepping closer to you. Her voice carried worry. “You don’t have to go just yet. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’ve got work to do.” You quickly pulled away, spreading your arms in a dramatic gesture. “I’ve got a spider to unmask!”

Your exaggerated shout drew attention from some nearby students. Usually, that was enough to make Violet laugh. However, there was a worried expression on her face.

Maybe your words had sounded a bit too strange this time.

You left the gym with a frown and a mission: to find the Red Spider.

You took a nasty fall that night. Maybe it was your crowded mind, maybe it was a risky jump, or maybe the roof was just too weak to hold your weight. Either way, you slipped while chasing the Red Spider, tumbling off a balcony, rolling across part of a roof, and landing on a closed dumpster. Luckily, your camera came out unscathed, but half of your body was scraped by bricks, nails, and iron bars. A few cats scattered at the string of curses you shouted after crashing onto the dumpster.

"Are you okay?"

The sudden voice startled you, adding another fall to your miserable night. Filthy and sprawled on the ground, you searched for the source of the voice and spotted a silhouette in the shadows. It was her, the Red Spider.

"My savior!" you greeted her bitterly. "A little late, but I appreciate the concern."

"Why are you following me?"

The voice from the shadows carried a hint of pain. For a moment, you had the feeling you recognized that tone—vulnerable and wounded—but the blurry image before you didn’t allow any certainty. Struggling, you got to your feet and limped toward the local heroine.

"I'm actually doing you a favor." There was confidence and falsehood in your voice. "My boss will leave you alone once he finds out you’re just a well-meaning girl."

"And all my enemies will make my life a living hell. Did you think about that?" Her question was almost an accusation.

"I’m sure you’ll manage to save everyone. That’s what you always do, right?" With pain and anger coursing through your body, the bitterness in your tone was unmistakable. A resentful irony revealed that you didn’t have much faith in the Red Spider's abilities. "Just work on your timing a little. If you’d chosen to play the hero two days earlier, my parents might still be alive." In a subtle motion, you adjusted the camera in front of you and aimed it at the spider in the shadows. "Or if you’d shown up two minutes sooner, maybe my dignity would’ve survived."

As the last syllable left your lips, the camera flashed, lighting up the dark alley. There she was—the Red Spider—hiding, staring at you, frozen in place. What was going through her mind, you couldn’t possibly guess. But the sudden burst of light was enough to spur her into action. The heroine shot a web and vanished from the dark alley.

You were alone, injured, and with a weight on your chest that threatened to crush you. That was the last push you needed: you would uncover her identity. You would find out why she saved everyone except the people you loved most—your family.

Countless questions and worried looks were thrown your way during the barbecue. Claggor and Ekko teamed up to try to redo your bandages, Mylo and Powder made so many jokes that your ears were buzzing with them, and Silco and Vander had been watching you all morning.

"I'm fine!" You raised your voice so everyone could hear. "No serious injuries, but your stares are killing my pride. Can we move on?"

"Like you moved on and fell flat on your face?" Mylo had already made comments like this a dozen times. No one laughed.

"We’re making progress at college. The deans want to showcase our project at the next tech conference," Ekko changed the subject. How you loved that kid! You didn’t understand a thing about how his innovative gadgets worked, but you wanted to know everything about them now. "They think Stark Industries might be interested."

"I refuse to sell our idea to a playboy in a steel suit!" Powder protested. "If we do, our machines will never be accessible to the people in Queens."

"Think big, my prodigy. It takes a lot of funding and work before a product reaches those in need," Silco explained in his calm voice. "But the college should be covering those expenses. Where are my investments being used?"

Expressing everyone’s reaction, Isha grunted at Silco’s words and stopped him before he could start one of his speeches. Bored, the girl moved away from Sevika and grabbed Powder’s hands. She and your brother wanted to play, and apparently, the strong woman was no longer entertaining them. Sevika swapped the toys for a beer while your brother, Isha, Powder, and Ekko went off to play with bats and toy pistols.

"She hasn’t reached out to you?" Vander approached you stealthily, taking the beer bottle you had just finished out of your hand. It was your fifth that morning. "I’m sorry about that."

"It’s okay. I kind of saw it coming," you smiled and stepped back. "I’ll go for a walk. Keep an eye on my brother for me?"

"Sure." Vander’s reply wasn’t going to end there, but you cut him off quickly.

"Thanks!" You said and walked off before he could say anything more.

Wandering the neighborhood was the only thing left for you to do. Staying at the barbecue or going back home to work — either would leave you furious. Vi had ignored you again, the Spider-Girl had escaped once more. Everywhere you looked, there was frustration. It felt like a part of your life was slipping away.

Or maybe, you were just a little drunk and melancholic on a Sunday morning.

The streets of the neighborhood had grown peaceful since the first appearance of the Red Spider. Now, kids played and elderly couples strolled without fear, untouched by the gangs and dealers that had been driven out. It was still a simple life — there were few cars on the street, and no house was big enough for families as large as these — but it was a simple and good life. A safe one.

It had been your parents' dream for you and your brother. It was also Violet's parents' dream. Too bad they passed away before seeing this dream realized by a masked heroine.

The situation was somewhat comical and beautiful. To think that a super-powered figure clad entirely in red had brought peace to one of New York's most dangerous neighborhoods. It could have been a great joke if she hadn’t sent so many thugs to prison.

You smiled as you thought about it: she was good. The Red Spider brought hope and joy to thousands of families. You loved what she represented, you loved what she did — only part of you wondered why she had only appeared after your parents passed away. After your parents were murdered by some lowlife thugs. She would have ended them in two seconds if she had been there. But she wasn’t.

You had to learn to live with that and move on with your life. Still, it was hard when every aspect of your work screamed about the heroine in red. You wished you could forget her if you could.

"Son of a bitch, they’re getting creative!" The cursing, so familiar to your ears, came suddenly from inside your house. The house that should have been empty. "Damn it, this is going to take a while to heal!"

In a swift motion, you opened the door and came face-to-face with the intruder in your home: Violet was sprawled on the floor, visibly injured.

She struggled as much as she could to sit up and look at you, but she only managed to move her head.

"Hi," a shaky groan escaped her lips. "Sorry, I didn’t think—"

"What happened?" You dropped to your knees beside her, analyzing the cuts and stains covering her worn-out hoodie. Violet didn’t just look like she had been in a fight — she looked violently beaten. "Are those cuts? Violet, what did you get yourself into?"

The boxer tried to avoid your worried hands, but she didn’t have the strength to keep you away. Determined and suddenly sober, you tore off her jacket to get a better look at her injuries. What you saw, however, was something entirely different: the spider suit, red and shiny, covered Violet’s strong body.

You instinctively recoiled.

"This can’t be true," you mumbled, your wide eyes scanning every detail, curve, and bruise on the heroine’s body. It was her. It was her: you had taken pictures of that same person hundreds of times. Never without the mask, never with her face revealed as it was now.

Violet couldn’t meet your gaze.

"I can explain—" her weak voice was quickly cut off by your shout.

"Shit!" Your teeth clenched so hard that the Red Spider flinched at the sound. "Damn it, Violet! What the hell!" Despite all your anger, there was something more important to focus on. Vi was pale, trembling, and sweaty. A greenish hue occasionally overtook her face, and she was taking forever to move. "What did they do to you?"

"Spider pesticide," she grumbled, her cheeks turning extremely green for a few moments. "Smells like hell."

"Yeah, I noticed." The heroine really did stink. The smell, however, didn’t seem to affect you as much as it affected her. "Can you get up? You need to take a shower."

"I’m too dizzy. Just let me lie here for a bit." Without waiting for your permission, Vi laid back down on the floor.

"Fine, but take your clothes off first."

"What?" Her cheeks flushed.

"Is your plan to keep inhaling the pesticide until you feel better? No, you need to get rid of the smell. Come on, take off your clothes."

The idea didn’t seem to please the woman. However, she was too tired to argue and struggled to take off the suit. If it weren’t for your help, she would have stayed in that stinky hoodie and tight uniform until she regained her strength. How long that usually took, you had no idea.

You covered her with a blanket and placed a pillow under her head. Despite being injured and exhausted, she didn’t need to lie on your living room floor like a homeless person. Nothing was said in the meantime: her eyes followed you, curious and vulnerable, while you paid attention to every detail. You needed to make sure she was okay before anything else.

Once she finally seemed to relax, you laid down beside her on the floor.

"Do you come back like this every time?" Your question was expressed in a faint whisper.

"Not always. Today was a little worse." A silence fell between the two of you. The small gap of inches between your shoulders felt like miles.

"You can yell at me if you want. I deserve it."

"It’s no use, not with you like this. I’m too worried to be angry at you right now." Your eyes were fixed on a spot on the ceiling. "I just wish you had told me."

Silence again.

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"I felt guilty," she admitted with a shaky groan. You turned your face to her and saw tears filling her blue eyes. "And scared... scared of losing you."

"Why would you lose me, Vi?"

She turned her face away as soon as you moved closer.

"Because you won’t forgive me. You can’t. Not after I let your parents die." There was so much pain in her voice and on her face: speaking about it seemed more agonizing than any bruise on her body.

With a broken heart and a lump in your throat, you moved closer to her. You reached for her clenched fist and opened it, intertwining your fingers with hers.

"It wasn’t your fault. I needed someone to blame, but I would never put that on you, Vi. I can’t believe you actually thought that."

In a reaction filled with fear, the woman pulled her hand away from yours and turned her back to you.

"I already had the powers," she admitted after curling up into herself. "When your parents died, I could have done something. But Vander told me to be careful, he said great responsibilities would come if I used my powers. I hesitated, and if I hadn’t hesitated, your parents—"

"Vi, stop." You sat up, leaning over her curled-up body. Your hands reached for her shoulder, gently pulling her closer to you. "When did you get your powers?"

"A few days before they—"

"Then there wasn’t time. No one becomes a hero overnight." Your voice was firm. No bitterness, no irony, just determination.

"But you said—"

"I know what I said." You squeezed Vi’s shoulder, desperate for her to meet your gaze. "I know, but it was just words. I wanted to take my pain out on someone, and who better than a distant figure plastered across the papers?"

"Well, I told you that you could take it out on me if you wanted," she tried to lighten the mood with a carefree laugh.

A smile crossed your lips, but your voice remained serious.

"I could never do that, Vi. I admire you too much to even consider something like that."

Your words wiped away the small smile lingering on her lips. Vulnerable again, Vi finally turned her face toward you.

"Whether as a boxer or as the Spider-Girl, I have nothing but gratitude for you."

Her eyes gleamed as they locked onto yours. Like a magnet, your entire body was drawn to that gaze, your heart desperate to leap from your chest and meet hers, no matter how irrational that might be.

"But I wish you had told me. It would have saved a lot of carpets," you joked, bringing a dazzling smile to Violet's face. "I thought it was some filthy raccoon, but it turns out it was just you."

"That would make quite the headline. The Red Spider Destroys Neighborhood Living Rooms."

"Are you kidding? So I’m not the only one whose carpets you’ve ruined?" You feigned an offended expression. "How scandalous of you, barging into strangers’ living rooms. I thought I was special!"

"You are." There wasn’t a trace of humor in her low, steady voice.

The smile on Violet’s face pierced through any joke or comment you might have made. Her gaze disarmed you, just as it so often had in the past. After nearly a year, she was back—by your side. As Violet, and as the Red Spider, she had fully returned to your life.

Nothing could describe the relief, the peace, and the joy you felt knowing that.

"Good to know." Your confident smile joined hers. On impulse, you leaned in and stole a kiss from your heroine. The thought made you smile again.

"My heroine."

[ghastlyfilters]

Hi! Saw you were taking Lost Boys requests...

I have a lot of silly concepts or ideas but my favorite is poly!Lost boys with a partner (I usually prefer fem reader but whatever ur comfy with is all good) who loves stealing some of their older clothes. Like, reader is smaller than them so the clothes are really comfy. Especially the older stuff cus decade+ old fabric is so soft.

reader stealing the lost boys’ clothes!!

pairing(s): implied poly!lost boys x fem!reader

warning(s): aside from paul and marko definitely paying attention to your curves, none!!

(now if i was the reader here i know damn WELL i would be stealing their clothes too. each one of their styles is literally perfection and to see that shit on vampires? HELLO? also i may have gotten a bit too carried away with thinking about all their clothing designs.. but thanks for this cute request<3)

gifs not mine! (if you know the original owner please tag them!)

HEADCANONS

• Stealing your boys’ clothes is by far the EASIEST thing anyone could do. The reason being? They quite literally never change out of the fits they’ve had on since 1987.

• The boys don’t have much of a scent, seeing as they’re all undead. So a washing machine doesn’t exist in their little world anymore. Which means they will now forever be outfit repeaters.

More fun for you. 

• All of the boys have the most random shit scattered around the cave. They’re the worst hoarders you have ever encountered. Cough cough.. Paul.. cough cough..

• But the amount of clothes they have laying around is shocking. Boots, band tees, jackets, jeans, leather trousers, gloves, shirts, man you name it. They have it. Every fucking decade.

• The band tees are by far your favourite thing to run around with. Paul has a shit ton of Môtley Crüe tees, and Dwayne has so many shirts with The Doors on them. (Jim’s face is literally everywhere in the cave now. They sure as hell ain’t Christians, so if they’re selling their souls to anyone it’s the horned god below or their icon Jim Morrison.)

• They did let you away with wearing their old band tees until Marko told the boys about EBay.

When Paul found out a vintage Mötley Crüe tour shirt was going for over a grand, the mf was ecstatic..

So much so, he decided to put his own vintage Mötley tees up for bidding.

“Two thousand… three thousand.. FOUR THOUSAND… FIVE THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS!!!”

Poor Paul’s bubble was burst however when David told him there was absolutely nothing they could do with the money aside from unlimited Chinese food for the next few months.

• David’s old clothes are much different from what the others have. He was the first to be turned, therefore he’s lived throughout the most eras.

• He’s got a LOT of leather jackets and trenchcoats. Paul and Marko always joke about him being Jack the Ripper, but you see a different side to his style. There’s been many nights you actually sat down with him and asked where he’d gotten the majority of his old items. Some were by Spanish designers that had been gifts from Max whenever he’d provided David with different clothing, others were from when David had fed off multiple store owners and casually picked out what he fancied afterwards.

• It saddens you that he doesn’t wear any of these anymore. The only reminder he ever gets of them is when you put on the soft wool Trenchcoats that go right down to your ankles, almost looking like a cape. Marko makes mini conspiracy theories that maybe you’re the real Dracula.

• Dwayne’s load of clothes is FILLED with leopard print designs. He’s been a 70s boy even all these years later, and he misses that era so dearly.

• There’s this one satin leopard print shirt that actually fits you quite well in his eyes. It’s still a little baggy.. yet oddly attractive to him. You’ve claimed it as your own now, wearing it like a pj set.

• Aside from the satin shirt, literally nothing else Dwayne has fits you. He’s a muscular guy.. and a vampire. So trying to get his baggy ass clothes to even have a slight loose fit is not for the weak 😭

• Marko however, this is where the real fun begins. You can borrow anything from Marko.. ANYTHING.. and it’s guaranteed to fit.

• He was a big crop top collector. When he used to find a good shirt that wasn’t cropped however, he’d cut it up and make it into a crop top himself. And these are what he adores you wearing. They cling nicely to your curved body, and whenever you wear them you can never get both Paul and Marko to stop staring at your breasts. Assholes.

• Marko’s clothes are by far your favourite pieces out all the boys. Much like the crop tops, he really enjoyed designing all his other outfits when he wore them. And he was pretty damn good at it too. Marko can be a crafty little thing when he wants to be. He’ll even help you design your own outfits too! He’ll cut, sew, stitch, glue, draw, paint, anything you want Marko to design, he’s down. He took so much pride in his unique outfits back in the day. And if you want yours spiced up, Marko’s your man.

• You wear his old belts a lot. One time, you were rummaging through the boys�� old stuff again, and immediately fell in love with this black latex belt Marko had. He’d drawn on perfectly shaped skulls with a white acrylic pen, and added different studs around the buckle. Ever since that day, Marko pretty much customises everything you own now.

FIRST TIME WRITING FOR THE LOST BOYS!! hope you all enjoyed these headcanons and my requests are open for any lost boys related ideas you may have!! <33

[forsoobado137]

♊padparadschshc1209 Follow

🏓Gorgotmommy1225 Follow

My favorite part was when the actual Isle of Mann came showed up and was like "Hey guys it's me remember me this is what I look like I'm not a 47 year old man."

👩‍🏫teachinggaystoread Follow

I love how the others were like "This guy's a stupid conman" but Scotland was like so ready to shoot him just to prove his point.

🐸theonetrueswampgirlie Follow

England: Do you have the documentation to prove your nation status?

Scotland:

13,347 notes

🎩whereareyaoooo Follow

I know that commie kids and WW2 kids are annoying as fuck but the NatPer kids are on a WHOLE different level.

🧇Belgiangaufres Follow

🏖Allythecalibitch Follow

Teacher: And in 1937, Japan invaded China

NatPer kid: That was so dom of him lol

Me: I'm going fucking insane

21,477 notes

🐉whyamimonster Follow

I just started uni and this guy in my bio class looks exactly like Matthew Williams. I told him and apparently he gets that a lot. He's literally the most Canadian man I've ever met.

🐉whyamimonster Follow

I have been informed by all of tumblr that I share a class with the national personification of my own country.

129,560 notes

🌩goaheadgoku Follow

🦈sharkirasharkira416t19 Follow

Do people still believe nationfacts? I thought we all blocked them.

🧼scrubehindurears Follow

I'm in med school and some of the other nurses actually believe that nations are faking symptoms of illness. Conspiracy theories like these are dangerous because then nation people won't get taken seriously by doctors and will be less likely to get proper treatment. This can lead to a lack of preparation for natural disasters and economic crises because people think they're incapable of feeling sick. This shit can kill people. I'm tired of having this conversation all the time.

🐶doghelldoesntexist Follow

Every time I see this stuff on my dash I'm reminded of the Martinville tornado disaster where the NP of the united states was begging the hospital he was in to evacuate because he felt the familiar dizziness of a tornado but the doctors yelled at him for taking up space in the ER. I wonder what would've happened to all those patients had they been evacuated safely.

🐶doghelldoesntexist Follow

Also btw I know this happened in 1952, before modern forecast technology, but my point still stands. Just because it's easier to predict stuff without nations doesn't mean doctors should yell at them and accuse them of faking. This misinformation kills people.

44,029 notes

[starhvney]

𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: garroth, laurance, travis, dante, zane, katelyn, & nana

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: what i think they'd be like on a roadtrip!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: fluff, slice of life

𝐂𝐖: none!

𝐀/𝐍: i miss going on roadtrips i haven't been on one in so long

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇

☆ calls shotgun immediately and insists it’s his spot for the rest of the trip (oldest sibling syndrome)

☆ always buys something at every rest stop, whether it’s an icee, chips, or some stupid trinket

☆ bought a key chain one time that flashed the words “bad boy” on it because he thought it was so funny. he was devastated when it stopped working one day

☆ likes being the gps guy because sometimes he’ll find a cool place to stop and check out on the way (to make the most of the trip, of course)

☆ talks about town lore when you pass through somewhere interesting

𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

☆ he has the best road trip playlist and made sure to plan out how long it was depending on how far you’re traveling

☆ honestly he’s probably the one driving for most of the trip if not all of it, he finds driving relaxing and also doesn’t trust other people to drive safely

☆ likes to play fun talking games like never have i ever or would you rather, or just talking about life

☆ will play the license plate game or i spy to stay alert

☆ if he’s not talking he’s really enjoying the playlist

☆ if the road trip is super long he’ll agree to switch out of driving for a bit to take a nap

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐒

☆ is really invested in the license plate game

☆ he’s always cracking jokes and is definitely the type of guy to look in other people’s windows on the road and guess their life story

☆ gets invested when a car sticks with yours for a long time and gets dramatic when they finally split away

☆ plays multiplayer games on his phone with whoever wants to play or sends memes to the group chat (you guys are literally in the same car)

☆ will suddenly start discussing conspiracy theories or will tell ghost stories about the towns you pass through

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 

☆ he’s either talking the whole time or passed tf out no in between

☆ says “i could go for some fast fast food right now” literally anytime you guys pass a fast food restaurant

☆ also cracks jokes and will add on to travis’s guesses on the lives of oblivious travelers

☆ makes really exaggerated and out of place guesses because he thinks it’s funny

☆ it’ll be a grandma driving in her old chrysler and he goes “how much you wanna bet she’s got a pound of weed in her trunk”

☆ like man what the hell are you talking about

𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐄

☆ irritated if people are talking too much (dante and travis)

☆ puts on noise canceling headphones and only tunes back in if food or a rest stop is involved (he’s busy listening to my little pony infection au lore/j)

☆ has a pillow, blanket, and hoodie on at all times for maximum comfort

☆ another sleeper. surprisingly doesn’t mind if you use him as a pillow or ask to share his blanket, he’s really comfy with all those layers on

☆ will lightly shove you away if you start moving too much, though

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍

☆ pretty chill the whole time as usual

☆ sits in the very back and mostly will watch the scenery

☆ she brings a book or watches a movie, and doesn’t mind sharing her headphones with you to watch it together 

☆ unless you’re traveling in a car with tv screens installed, then she has a small travel case with a ton of burned cds (if you know you know) and everyone can join in

☆ if she gets tired of socializing with everyone she puts in some earbuds and takes a nap

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀

☆ packs a whole bag of snacks and homemade sweets for everyone

☆ checks pretty often if anyone wants to take a break at a rest stop and stretch their legs (she’s pretty jittery and doesn’t want to be the only one constantly asking to stop the car)

☆ also participates in the license plate game, but also likes to play the slug bug and yellow car game

☆ made the mistake of slug bugging katelyn and got punched back in the arm

☆ gets really addicted to cute cat games on her phone and accidentally spends a bunch of money on passes

☆ she brings some sort of craft or sketchbook for the trip. you notice she’s been quiet for a while before looking over and seeing she’s already crocheted half of a scarf and a hat

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[jeffgerstmann]

I'm sick of my favorite old wrestlers who inspired me as a kid turning out to be pieces of shit, if I find out Mick Foley suddenly decided to stump for Trump I'm going to blow up the sun.

They're a bunch of independent contractors who live in states like Florida, which has friendlier tax laws for independent contractors, forcing them to exist outside of the traditional employment system and develop a somewhat different and often more contentious relationship with paying taxes over the years.

They spent the 70s/80s/90s in locker rooms, potentially full of pills and/or steroids, growing increasingly paranoid about the other men in that locker room trying to "take their spot." They've also convinced themselves that they're geniuses and free thinkers who are living a secret life because no one knows what goes on behind the curtain, all those marks think it's real, brother!

They used this secret life and paranoia to create things like "wrestler's courts" and cultures where new guys must bend over backwards to show respect to the veterans or else they'll get hazed out of the building and/or physically beaten up.

They also took a lot of unprotected chair shots.

So let's see, we've got...

paranoia

conspiracy theories

always trying to find a loophole or an edge

frequent head injuries

Shouldn't be a big surprise that so many of these guys lean the way they lean. You can practically hear them sitting down in an airport bar somewhere in this great nation, looking up at the news on the TV, and saying "man, politics, that's the biggest work of them all, brother" like it's the smartest thing anyone has ever said about anything, ever.

In the case of the Undertaker I'm surprised that anyone is surprised? Dude has pretty openly sucked for a long time. Him and his Blue Lives Matter shirts can SUCK IT (wrestling reference, look it up)

[godlessondheimite]

Will and Emma are having relationship problems because Will is not taking COVID seriously enough ("Therapy"). The next day Will takes his frustration out on the glee club and accuses them of not taking COVID seriously enough (Finn doesn't understand germ theory and Brittany is QAnon.)

Will says, "You guys lack historical perspective. Back in the 80s and 90s there was a young gay composer named Jonathan Larson who saw disease and suffering all around him. When he found out he was afflicted with AIDS, he put all of his pain into the timeless and unreproachable work of art, RENT. RENT taught us about community and caring for one another and more importantly...it taught us that musicals can rock." Will sings the title song from RENT with Artie and Finn.

That night: Santana is fed up with lockdown restrictions and sneaks out of her house to visit Brittany ("Out Tonight"). Brittany is planning a big show that will blow the whole COVID conspiracy wide open. She previews it for Santana ("Over the Moon"). Santana is freaked out and breaks up with Brittany. Santana can excuse ignoring disease prevention guidelines but she draws the line at being Republican about it.

Also that night, Will tries to sleep with Emma but she's too COVID-cautious ("Green Green Dress"). She says maybe they need some time apart because of their different priorities.

While grocery shopping, Will runs into Holly Holliday. Holly is lighting scented candles in the middle of the store but for some reason all of them are defective/unscented ("Light My Candle.") Holly propositions Will. Will says he's seeing Emma, and Holly admits she also has a boyfriend.

"I'm sure we can work something out," Holly says. "Meet me at the basement of the swinger's club at 9:00."

Will shows up at the swinger's club and spots his old rival, Brian Ryan (the Neil Patrick Harris character). They glare at each other, then confront each other and it's revealed that Brian is Holly's boyfriend ("Tango Maureen.") She knew Brian and Will were old high school rivals and set all this up because she's into the whole enemies-to-lovers thing.

Will scolds her. "That is so cruel and manipulative of you. I can't believe you would do this."

Holly tries to convince him to live life to the fullest. ("Another Day.")

Eventually Will thinks about what proud openly gay icon Jonathan larson would do, and he has a threesome with Holly and Brian ("Contact," I'm afraid.)

The morning after, Will can't believe he kind of cheated on Emma/hooked up with Brian and really enjoyed it ("Real Life").

On Monday, Brittany and Santana are still broken up but sitting on opposite sides of the choir room is emotionally difficult for them ("Without You.")

On the way home from school, Kurt and Blaine are like "Aren't you glad we're not like Brittany and Santana, breaking up every 5 seconds over something stupid?" and they sing "I'll Cover You" but then they break up over something stupid.

Will contemplates his sexual awakening, torn between Holly+Brian and Emma ("Johnny Can't Decide/Come To Your Senses" mashup).

The tension in glee club is unavoidable.

"Mr. Shu, this is ridiculous," Rachel says. "Ever since you brought up RENT and Jonathan Larson, it's been nonstop hookups and fighting. Also, Jonathan Larson wasn't gay and he didn't die of AIDS! He was straight and died of some random heart thing."

"What? Jonathan Larson wasn't gay? So my sexual experimentation was under false pretenses?"

Will immediately calls and breaks it off with Brian and they argue ("What You Own").

The next day Santana says "I can't believe we caused this much fuss over a straight man, who died of a random heart thing."

"Wait, just because he was straight doesn't make his words less powerful," Finn says.

"You're right," Will says. "Maybe I'm bisexual." ("Louder than Words.") And then they all sing La Vie Boheme.

At some point Santana and Mercedes sing "Take Me or Leave Me" as their glee club presentation. (It's a four-part episode.) Also I think Gwyneth would have fun with Today 4 U, don't kill me.



[claritys-silly-things]

Something something Sunday, something something headcanon post

- Ponyboy loves mint chocolate chip ice cream, but dally hates it. He claims it tastes like toothpaste and every time he says this, the group has to hold pony back from attacking the guy (fair)

- (modern) Someone show the curtis brothers Steven universe sobs

- The curtis brothers have dimples and smile lines and other facial things. like Darry has crows feet and pony has worry lines on his forehead because I think it’s cool and I have those even though I am like. Young.

- What if Dallas had an older brother or someone that’s like how he is to Johnny but to Dallas and that person died and then his mom died and he hated his dad and had no reason to stay in New York so he left

- I just painted my nails with random ass old nail polish I found and every nail is a different color and I think that’s something cherry would do

- Pony, soda, and twobit are all double jointed in different areas of their body and they’ll just do shit to creep the rest of the guys out, especially dally and darry

- Dally is fine with gore n shit irl but cant handle weird body contorsions

- Johnny will randomly say the most horrifying things like “doesn’t everyone wish they could go to sleep and not wake up” and it just traumatizes ponyboy. Twobit is also like this but a bit more goofy. Pony ends up doing the same thing post-book but says it to sound like it’s a joke like two bit and when people tell him to stop he’s like “it’s true tho🧍🏽‍♂️”

- Since dally is so pale, he gets “red” so goddamn easily but he looks more pink. Every time he feels too much of any emotion, he’s pink. If it’s too hot he’s pink. Two bit makes fun of him for this and has been punched in the face at least twice for it. Pony is the same but that mf turns like BRIGHT red

- One sided dalbit bc Dallas is fucking aromantic but it’s funny for giggles and shits cuz twobitch just keeps embarrassing himself trying to flirt (vox and alastor core) (someone make a fic about this cries sobs)

- (Modern perchance) Pony is in like advanced classes n shit but fucking hates it. He’s still good at it and will cry if he gets a bad grade, but he doesn’t like it

- (Modern) Pony fucking hates Miguel O’Hara and is absolutely positively disgusted bc like half his friends simp so hard over that man (may or may not be based on me) (it is)

- two bit unironically believes so many conspiracy theories and spreads it to pony and Johnny

- I randomly made mozzarella sticks rn on a whim and soda would 100% impulse make food all the time and just figure out the recipe himself. It’s usually decent.

- Pony loves back to school season but hates actually going back. Like he likes the idea of going back to school and getting new school supplies, but within like, two days, he hates all his classes besides English

- Soda will burst out singing out a lot no matter where he is. Even at night. You can’t stop him (me)

- Rip sodapop you would’ve LOVED musical theater sobs

[southernmermaidsgrotto]

Hoodoo, Rootwork and Conjure sources by Black Authors

Because you should only ever be learning your ancestral ways from kinfolk. Here's a compilation of some books, videos and podcast episodes I recommend reading and listening to, on customs, traditions, folk tales, songs, spirits and history. As always, use your own critical thinking and spiritual discernment when approaching these sources as with any others.

Hoodoo in America by Zora Neale Hurston (1931)

Mules and Men by Zora Neale Hurston (1936)

Tell my horse by Zora Neale Hurston (1938)

Let Nobody Turn Us Around: An African American Anthology by Manning Marable and Leith Mullings, editors (2003)

Black Magic: Religion and the African American Conjuring Tradition by Yvonne P. Chireau (2006)

African American Folk Healing by Stephanie Mitchem (2007)

Hoodoo Medicine: Gullah Herbal Remedies by Faith Mitchell (2011)

Mojo Workin': The Old African American Hoodoo System by Katrina Hazzard-Donald (2012)

Rootwork: Using the Folk Magick of Black America for Love, Money and Success by Tayannah Lee McQuillar (2012)

Talking to the Dead: Religion, Music, and Lived Memory among Gullah/Geechee Women by LeRhonda S. Manigault-Bryant (2014)

Working the Roots: Over 400 Years Of Traditional African American Healing by Michele Elizabeth Lee (2017)

Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Zora Neale Hurston (2018)

Jambalaya: The Natural Woman's Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals by Luisa Teish (2021)

African American Herbalism: A Practical Guide to Healing Plants and Folk Traditions by Lucretia VanDyke (2022)

These are just some suggestions but there's many many more!! This is by no means a complete list.

I recommend to avoid authors who downplay the importance of black history or straight out deny how blackness is central to hoodoo. The magic, power and ashé is in the culture and bloodline. You can't separate it from the people. I also recommend avoiding or at the very least taking with a huge grain of salt authors with ties to known appropriators and marketeers, and anyone who propagates revisionist history or rather denies historical facts and spreads harmful conspiracy theories. Sadly, that includes some black authors, particularly those who learnt from, and even praise, white appropriators undermining hoodoo and other african and african diasporic traditions. Be careful who you get your information from. Keeping things traditional means honoring real history and truth.

Let me also give you a last but very important reminder: the best teachings you'll ever get are going to come from the mouths of your own blood. Not a book or anything on the internet. They may choose to put certain people and things in your path to help you or point you in the right direction, but each lineage is different and you have to honor your own. Talk to your family members, to the Elders in your community, learn your genealogy, divine before moving forwards, talk to your dead, acknowledge your people and they'll acknowledge you and guide you to where you need to be.

May this be of service and may your ancestors and spirits bless you and yours 🕯️💀