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luoqiu2023 · 11 months ago

Text

「Forest whispers」

previously on——

（Ⅰ）

1:00

Your whole body is pitch black, breathing is difficult, and there is a feeling of suffocation, gradually blurring your eyes, as if you are about to fall into the abyss, on the brink of collapse.

"Xi You... mine..."

A faint voice came from afar, you try to stand up and clarify your thoughts. When you look up, you find yourself engulfed in a sea of flames. Faced with the flames, you shrink back in fear.

"I'm sorry..."

The sound is coming again, this time it feels closer than before. There seems to be a black figure in the flames. You squinted your eyes, but before you could take a closer look, the surrounding fire instantly engulfed you.

"Ah!"

You quickly sat up straight in your seat, panting heavily and sweating hard on your back. The scene from your dream just now is vivid in your mind.

"Madam, are you okay?"

The inquiries around you restored your rationality. You calmed down and looked up to find the flight attendant standing on the side, while the passengers around you looked at you with strange eyes.

"Are you okay?" the flight attendant patted your back, trying to comfort you before asking.

"I'm fine, thank you."

You wave your hand and show a smile. After confirming multiple times that you were indeed fine, the flight attendant breathed a sigh of relief and left.

The people around were not affected by this small event, and after the event ended, they all shifted their attention to other places.

The temperature inside the cabin is a bit high, and when the weather is too hot and stuffy, it can lead to oxygen deficiency. You think this may be the reason why you have nightmares. You collapse onto the armchair and take out a book from your pocket.

A book that looks outdated

You carefully open it, there are some notes on it that you don't quite understand. Some places look wrinkled like they have been soaked in water, with a little mud on top.

Your hand gently caressed the text on it, which was left by your father. The book also includes some photos.

There are some notes about wild animals inside, as well as photos of my father and those animals. Some photos were pasted with notes, and there were many words that I didn't understand.

On the last page of a thick book, there is a photo of her and her father. The girl was carried on her shoulder by her father and looked very happy. There is a paragraph behind the photo

My lovely daughter

This book is a relic delivered by the mother during her lifetime, including the pendant now worn around her neck.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is expected to arrive in Helsinki in 30 minutes."

The broadcast sounded, indicating that everyone was about to land. Suddenly, there was a loud bang. You put the book back in your hand, sit down, and tilt your head to look out the window. It was pitch black outside, and you could even see small snowflakes sliding in the air.

"We're about to arrive..."

——————————————————————

After getting off the plane, you hurriedly left the airport carrying your luggage. When you left, you looked up at the sky. Finland's time is six hours later than your hometown, so it's still dark here.

It was snowing lightly in the sky, and the ground was already covered in white. Although you were wearing a lot of clothes, the cold wind still poured into your neck. You couldn't help but shiver and quickly took out a scarf to wrap around it.

"You should buy gloves..." you muttered softly, rubbing your hands constantly.

There is no such thing as aurora when the sky is covered by clouds, which inevitably reduces your original expectations.

A taxi was stopped on the roadside, and the driver enthusiastically helped to move all your belongings into the trunk. You told him the hotel address that had already been booked, and the driver immediately drove on the road without delay.

With the air conditioning on in the car, sitting inside feels no longer cold, and the roads are filled with muddy snow and water. For safety reasons, the car slowly travels from the suburbs to the city.

The journey was very quiet, and the warm feeling made people feel a bit drowsy.

The light of the streetlights kept moving backwards, faintly visible inside the car, and there were hardly any pedestrians outside. The constantly moving lights made you feel a bit sleepy, and in a daze, you remembered your childhood memories again.

That once beautiful memory

"Sir, why can't we see the aurora now?"

You lean your head against the glass, and the constant shaking inside the car causes your head to constantly hit the glass, reducing your drowsiness.

The driver looked at the girl sitting behind from the rear window and said, "Of course, you're here for tourism, right? You can't see the aurora in the city. You need to go to a place far away from the city."

"Can it be in the forest?"

"Sure, but the weather doesn't look good right now."

You stand up and sit down, take out your diary from your arms again, open a page in the book, and the street lamp outside the car window instantly illuminates the text in the book.

——Laplan Forest

Perhaps... the thing that my father guarded until his death is right there.

You pursed your lips slightly and lifted your hand to flip to the back page, where there is another photo sandwiched between them

In the far view of the photo, there is a wooden house landing on a small patch of grass in the forest

You have a premonition that this is where your father lives, and now you have made up your mind to search for his footsteps.

——————————————————————

(III)

You spent a peaceful night in the hotel, woke up and picked up your phone to check the time, only to find that you had slept until noon.

Through the window, you can see outside. You leave the warm bed and come to the window. The weather today doesn't look good. It's snowing heavily outside, and the sunlight is blocked by clouds. The snow on the ground has already become thick.

You don't have much idea about the residence in your father's notes. You take out your phone and try to search the map. When you see the area of the forest, you feel too foolish... If you don't know the direction, looking for it is like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you may get stuck in the forest.

"Maybe... I can ask the locals."

You sat down by the bed and rubbed your temples, thinking with an optimistic spirit.

You don't want to find that place too late, after all, there must be other relics of your father in that wooden house. After more than ten years, I don't know if those things are still there.

Instead of staying in place and daydreaming about becoming a wooden stake, it's better to find ways to regrow and seek opportunities.

Thinking of this, you seem to have regained all your confidence and taken it back to your heart. You immediately stand up, pack your things, and prepare to leave the hotel.

——————————————————————

It took you some time to get a taxi while standing on the street after leaving the hotel. It's not easy to stop a taxi on such a snowy day.

"Where are you going, madam?"

The driver asked in front, and after some thought, you asked if he could take you to a small town near Lapland Forest, the faster the better.

The driver frowned upon hearing this and turned to look at you

"Friend, if you want to be fast, you must go to the train station. It's not easy to walk due to heavy snow blocking the road. I suggest you don't go there to enjoy the aurora or anything else for now..."

He paused for a moment before continuing, "As far as I know, there will be heavy snow in a few days, and the snow over there can cover your thighs."

He spoke and gestured, with a very serious expression on his face

"I know... there was a driver who reminded me before... but..." You pulled out a helpless expression, took out the book from your pocket, took out the photo inside, and handed it to him, pleading.

"I urgently need to find this... Sir, as you said it will be snowing heavily in a few days, I believe it will be difficult for me to find it after the heavy snow..."

"That's it."

Upon hearing the explanation behind, the driver's furrowed brow also relaxed a lot, and his gaze returned to carefully observe the photo you handed over.

"I haven't seen it here before. You can go to the town over there, where some people may recognize it, after all, some people live in the forest."

You take the photo you handed back, nod and take it back as a gesture of gratitude. The driver turns around and steps on the gas pedal.

"No need to thank you, then I'll take you to the train station first."

"Thank you very much."

Driving out of the city, you sit in the car and admire the scenery outside the window. Unlike the night, Finland looks like a world of ice and snow elves during the day.

You looked outside for a while, until your eyes became a bit sour, until the car reached an empty road lined with rows of trees on both sides, and the endless distance made people daydream endlessly.

The white floating down from the sky is no longer dense, but piled up like cotton. All of this is like a dream, and you can no longer control your dormant heart, letting it drift further away with the snowflakes along with the dream.

——————————————————————

(4)

You stood trembling in the snow, amidst the wind and snow, you saw, saw the wooden house you had been persistently searching for. The swing hanging on the tree next to the house swayed, and on a starless night, the window of the wooden house emitted a warm yellow halo.

Although you were dressed thick, your body still trembled uncontrollably from the cold. Looking at the faint light, you curled up and walked slowly towards it, instinctively wanting to stay away from the unknown forest behind you.

However, even though I am walking, the things in front of me have not changed at all.

The strength gradually dissipated with the temperature, and you finally couldn't hold back and fell into the snow, letting the heavy snow fall on you.

"It's so cold..."

You weakly make a faint sound.

Suddenly, there was a sharp eagle roar in the air, piercing through your head. You struggled to open your eyes, only to find a red ribbon falling on your face blocking your view. Although your eyes were covered in red, you could vaguely see a figure approaching you through the fabric.

"Wake up, wake up quickly."

You were shaken and forced to wake up from your dream. When you opened your eyes, you found that the driver had already gotten off the car. He opened the car door on your side with an anxious expression on his face. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw you wake up.

"Finally waking up, listen, the road ahead is blocked and we can't pass for now."

You immediately shuddered as you got off the car. It was even colder outside than before, and the road ahead seemed to have been hit by an accident. The traffic police pulled up a yellow warning line, and the sound of sirens and the flickering red light made the gray sky look even more oppressive

"How could it be like this..."

You opened your phone with some unease, and it showed that it was already past five o'clock, and time had already passed quite a bit.

At this moment, the driver who had just left for a while ran over and patted your shoulder, shaking the phone in his hand.

"If we take a detour, we won't be able to catch the train."

"I have something else to do here, but I have a colleague who happens to be going there, right around here. If you want, I can ask him to come and see you off."

"Really! Thank you so much!"

You immediately grabbed the driver's big brother's right hand, looking excited.

The driver smiled and nodded happily, continuing the conversation with the other end of the phone. As you watched his back, your heart became even warmer, making you, who were already in a foreign land, no longer so uncomfortable in this cold season.

After a while, the driver finished the phone call and helped you lift your luggage down. He explained his friend's phone number and other matters clearly. You settled the fare and gave him a considerable tip as a thank you.

Looking at the distant back of the car, you stood on the street, taking a deep breath and lowering your head. A lot of snowflakes fell on your shoulders, and you gently brushed them away with your hands.

I don't know how long it has been, but when you feel like you've turned into a snowman, a white sedan comes to a stop in front of you, the car window slowly descends, and the people inside also show their faces.

A young man with yellow curly hair and a few freckles on his face, holding the steering wheel with one hand and leaning against the car window, looked over with a smile.

"Ha! I think I found it."

—————————————————————

(4)

"Hello, are you the Asian lady?"

In the car, the young man greeted you with a smile and then handed you candy from the side. You shook your head and politely refused. This young man didn't say much, but after you refused, he put back his gum and continued driving on the road.

You didn't say too much, and there was no intention of actively chatting. Apart from the conversation just now, there is no other language between you now.

This period of time is too boring. You look down at the phone in your hand. You've already slept before, so no matter how warm the car is now, you won't feel sleepy. But the person next to you may be someone who enjoys being lively. He occasionally sneaks a glance at you in his spare time, but in the end, he can't help but say it

Where did you come from? I'm a bit curious.

"China."

You looked up at the young man, and he immediately smiled when he heard your words. He seems to have a good impression of your country.

"Ha! China."

The young man shook his head with a thick smile on his face

"I once picked up and dropped off a Chinese couple who were very nice. We had a great conversation all the way and even gave me some things from China when we left."

He happened to run a red light and stopped the car. While waiting for the green light, he kept gesturing to you as if his eyes were flickering.

A big package of gifts, with many things in the red paper bag that I haven't seen before. There is something called "tea" that tastes completely different from here, and there is also a snack called "mooncake"

At this point, he wrinkled his nose and shook his head, his expression indescribable.

"I found that I couldn't bite it while eating, but later I collided it with an apple and the apple suffered a disastrous defeat!"

"Haha..."

Perhaps it's because of the association with such a scene that you can't help but laugh out loud. When the boy saw you happy, he awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

“Look, you smile very cute, so don't be unhappy.”

He is a very likable person, isn't he? You are no longer bound, take out a handful of sugar from your pocket and give it to him.

"It's for you."

"Thank you!"

The young man's eyes lit up as he carefully picked up the pile of goodwill. He picked up a candy and put the rest in his pocket.

He lifted the sugar paper and stuffed it into his mouth. The milky aroma accompanied by a sweet taste filled his entire mouth. The young man smiled and folded the sugar paper, pressing it down with a phone case. Watching his movements, you felt puzzled.

"What are you doing?"

The joy on the young man's face was undisguised, his lips curled up, and his brown eyes were bright.

"Don't you think this candy paper looks good?"

It turned out that because of this, you shook your head helplessly, but your heart had already been infected by his smile, and your mood had improved a lot.

"If you like, I can give you a whole package."

"Really?" He immediately lifted his head, looking like a golden retriever of snacks. You think, if there was a tail behind him, it must be shaking non-stop.

"Of course, I happen to have your contact information, don't I?"

"Great! Hmm... I mean... thank you!"

He was initially excited and immediately restrained when he realized his composure. When he saw the green light coming on, he immediately put his hand back on the steering wheel and continued driving, with your hand supporting his head and looking at him sideways.

"You seem to enjoy dealing with unfamiliar things."

He was stunned for a moment, scratched the back of his head, and chuckled. It seemed that he would instinctively do this action when he felt something was not good.

"Yes, specifically, I enjoy collecting souvenirs from various countries," he said seriously.

"I come to travel as a driver not only because I earn more, but also because I want to interact with people from different countries. Don't you think this is very interesting?"

You're not sure if it's interesting, you can only shrug to show neutrality.

"By the way, I haven't told you my name yet. Just call me Jim."

"Xi You"

"Xi... y... o?"

It can be seen that he has been working very hard to straighten his tongue and read your name well, and this cannot be blamed on him.

"It's okay, my name is already difficult to say, but it doesn't affect us being friends, does it?"

Jim pouted and swore to you that he would definitely read your name correctly next time. You nodded happily and didn't take it to heart.

The sun has left the horizon, and the night has arrived again, and this road is destined to be long.

——————————————————————

(V)

Along the way, you all chatted and relaxed. You learned from him that he went there to celebrate his mother's birthday, and he also understood that you came here to find your father's things.

"You must have been very familiar with that forest when you were a child, right?"

You asked Jim hopefully, but Jim shook his head

"When I was a child, I didn't go to the forest very much because of a nursery rhyme. At that time, I was filled with fear of the forest."

"Children's songs?"

You tilted your head, he saw you laughing strangely

"Actually, this nursery rhyme is not scary, it's just that I was timid when I was a child. Do you want to hear it?"

You nodded and Jim took a deep breath. His gaze looked into the distance, as if recalling. After a long time, he slowly began to sing that ancient nursery rhyme.

"Don't delve too deeply, ignorance will make you lose confidence."

"Stop, hunter, don't enter the darkness."

"What is behind the treasure?"

"Blind heart, leave here..."

"The forest does not allow uninformed individuals to enter..."

--------------------------------

"This sounds more like a warning..."

You have a strong feeling in your heart that tells you there must be something hidden in the forest

Jim agrees with what you said. He told you that there is an unwritten rule between them that they must go hunting and no one will move deep into the forest.

"What if it goes deeper?" you asked.

"Perhaps just like the words in a nursery rhyme, it will make the heart lose in the forest..."

Jim doesn't seem to be joking. You lowered your head and pondered for a long time. When the atmosphere became a bit solemn, the person next to you spoke again.

"However, in the past, the children in the small town had the courage to run into the forest and play. As far as I know, they basically returned unharmed before seeing their parents, so you don't have to worry about nursery rhymes."

Speaking of which, he mischievously blinked at you, making you immediately laugh.

The night is getting darker, and the snow has stopped at an unknown time. Before the sun rises from the horizon, you finally reach your destination

「Laplan Town」

——————————————————————

That's all for now, because there are too many(*´I`*)

Due to being a translator, there may be many places that are difficult to read. You can ask questions!

In the early stage, the main focus is on the protagonist's appearance and story preparation, and later on, other protagonists will appear

Thank you for reading!

#assassin’s creed x oc

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kitakami-zorua-kin · 4 months ago

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Ah don't worry, won't say anything to them unless needed, not sure if kieran and I are friends? I'm not good at labels, but I respect him, and yeah people seem a bit negatively biased not your fault though they can and will form their own opinions with or without you giving input you know?

Also regarding the apologising, there's really no need, if you ever do or say something that warrants that I will approach you and tell you, civilly, ok?

I agree on kyurem being awesome. wonder what it looked like in the past? I'll share another favorite of mine, Yveltal! or rather ever single Pokémon that's shunned or hated for the tales and legends about their behaviour or other Stigmata, I would love to be able to give those Pokémon a place of safety a sanctuary, they deserves a safe haven no matter who they are.

You care a lot about Kieran huh? Might wanna read the truth serum ask things and what I asked him about you, and in regards to making up, you have a chance there if you really wanna, would be kinda difficult but manageable, he cares but you already know that.

On you being half hearted about stuff that is actually kinda a cool thing like? You know stuff about a lot of things, not an expert but a jack of all traits, might come in handy some day.

Russet? You're a kind and caring person as far as I can tell, but you care too much sometimes, at least that's what it looks like, so much so that you forget about yourself while caring for others, take Kieran for example, this may seem paradoxical but if you want him to know you care for him? Care for yourself more, like take yourself seriously and put some work into your talents, he says you are talented, I can see why he says that, just take caring for yourself as serious as taking care of those you love and cherish? Do yourself that favour and if you can't do it for yourself then maybe for your siblings and your friends?

Now onto a lighter note, what's your favorite food and what one food you'd never eat under any circumstances, also a food you wanna try sometimes?

Oys

//I feel you on starrail, for me it's genshin kicking my butt but it's too hot to play, my room has nearly 35 degrees Celsius and it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep gotta try though I have to get up at 6. Anyway help Russet is cute! I love how you roleplay him. Have a nice "what ever times of day or night it is at your place"!

Mhm, I get that... I'll - I'm working on the... not apologizing so much bit. It's... harder than you think. Between Sweetheart, Hiroki, Ange, Ange's friends, and Drayton, though, I think I'll manage! :D

!!! I completely agree! I've - I've got a big soft spot for Pokemon with poor reputations and stigmas - I like to think I would regardless of the Noivern blood. There's a lot of stigmas that are just downright unfair or wildly misleading takes on Pokemon behavior... I think I've talked Ange's ear off about it, at some point - well. heh. "talked" meaning I wrote... huge long ramble paragraphs and apparently they're interesting enough to read.

And - I... I saw those, yeah. He's... he's not entirely wrong. I... don't really know how to stop... lying, as he put it. I... Ha. Um. Little hard to talk about, honestly, but... I... use a lot of different... personas, I guess...? Around people. They're all me, just - um. Emphasizing and exaggerating different aspects so... so I seem like less of a threat or so people... like me more. if you're not a threat, if you're - lighthearted and silly, they'll say mean words, sure, but... but they won't attack you. It's all me, but... Distorted, a little. ugh. He means well, I know he does, just... ugh. It's... it's complicated.

... Jack of all trades, huh...? That... sounds like a nicer way to put it. Thanks. :)

Ah - um - I... I... i know. Gramps always said my heart was too big for my own good. I... can't seem to help myself. I just... Everyone around me is so... so bright, and brilliant, and just... made for the spotlight. I just want to support them as much as I can - ah, Sweetheart, c'mon, calm down- okay, okay, I'll reword it! I... I guess it's easier for me to see... everyone else's strengths...? It's... harder to see my own. I don't exactly see myself as particularly good at... anything, really. I... I'd like to see it, one day, though, what... what apparently other people see in me. I'm... I'm gonna try to take better care of myself...? I... I have friends who seem... determined to see me through that. So... I'm gonna try.

My favorite food is popsicles! They're fruity, they're cold, and you absolutely can't go wrong with them! Best of all worlds, especially when it's cold outside too! And they're good when it's hot outside!! Perfect food, all around! Hm... Honestly I can't think of anything I absolutely wouldn't eat...? I'll try anything once. Twice, even, if it didn't kill me the first time. ah - sorry Sweetheart, turn of phrase, I promise - not eating anything dangerous, calm down... Hm... I think I'd like to try some of the Kalosian food Ange talks about sometimes! There's not a lot of foreign stuff in Kitakami, and as much as I like BBA, the menu is usually set, and there's mostly Unovan food.

#pkmn irl #russet responds #oys anon #//oh man i hear you. right now it's starrail but. i am ar 57 on genshin. head in hands. i love genshin just... not really the in-between bi #//hiroki's mod dragged me into starrail and now i am chewing at the lore like a feral caged beast. man i love lore and things.#//ough. yeah noticed it wasn't your usual time - its only 8 in the evening/20:00 for me. the heat is killer though.. heat waves my beloathe #//i love russet. so much. i also want to shake sense into him frequently.#//you have a nice... late night/early morning oys anon!!#//... yeah the popsicles are self indulgent. mod likes popsicles. russet gets some of my favorite things...

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panzerkatzee · 1 year ago

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Good day ya'll!

Its 11:30 and I just completed a small research session on fillipino martial arts and taking extensive notes on how my characters might move in the upcoming combat scenes. Funny enough, I always thought my larp experience would help in writing combat realistically… but oh boy… I WAS SO WRONG… its embarassing.

I am still no real expert, but maybe I can find someone to help with those scenes in particular down the line. For now I did watch some videos and read some instructions online and feel confident to get into the fight scene, I've been hyped for yesterday… but first… warm up time!!

by Electrum Photography

Then and again, he would get a flicker of red eyes, burning brightly with flashes of inert blood magic, his friend no doubt struggling to hold it back, hating crowds as it was. Dan… you are getting an ear full, for dragging her out here, he thought ruefully and picked up his pacing again. A few moments later, she stumbled free from the bodies swaying and squirming with the thrumming beats. "going to try smth new, winky face", had been the last text he received from her before getting on the tube and hot damn… she had. Only her hair was reminiscent of the timid mage, kept straight and falling down onto her shoulders, bangs freshly trimmed to end in a straight line above her brows. To cover her chest Lucille wore only a black pleather bra, the burning church tattooed across he abdomen, was on full display, showing its bell-tower ablaze, right between her breasts. She had paired it off with nothing more than a pair of latex gloves and a matching skirt, making Dan sweat just by looking at it. Clashing with the entire get up, the mad woman had forgone the use of shoes completely.

Not my best work… but after spending so much time on researching, I am a bit anxious to get writing. There is still some catching up with the long-term goal to do… soooo snaps fingers LET'S DO IT!

Okaaay… five hours later… didn't hit the word count… yet. But I am due for a food break, having ordered poké bowl from my fav restaurant.

I really underestimated how far fight scenes were out of my comfortzone… usually I am more for the whole emotional stuff… but as I am writing sci-fi about ppl doing sneaky shit and pissing off powerful other ppl, I don't think I will get away without it…

In the end… I went against the plan I had, and reshuffled my entire story a little bit.. soooo.. that just might turn into something interesting… who knows…

As of now I am at ~1400 words, so very close… aaaand the next scene coming up, will be snugly inside my comfort zone again, hence I am no tooo worried, I won't hit my mark for the day.This wraps up Chapter IV nice and neat~

I do a lot better at starting a chapter than ending it sooo...

But.. to learn from this, I will probably alter the daily warm up challenge a bit… by changing it to stuff I am not quite good at yet..

Maybe a paragraph of a battle scene or dialogue each day? Something like this.

As it stands now, I will wait for my food and write a bit more afterwards…

For now, lets continue with the Playlist, shall we?

Today's song: Faunts - M4 Pt.2

youtube

Why is this on my playlist? Those among you with an excellent taste in Video Games, might already know this one. If not by name, then from the Mass Effect I credits, as it is from the Game's OST. To be honest, it doesn't align at all with what I usually listen to, but then that's mostly everything that leads to the release of dopamine in my brain… so I can't claim any consistency there. Being a huuuuge fan of the Mass Effect Trilogy… and my alien waifu Garrus, connecting a very peaceful time in my life with these games… an age of innocence so to speak.. I have feelings about the song as well…

The lyrics just resonate with me… and I kinda always come back to it, when I have a hard time. Its not cheerful or anything.. but it holds this deepfelt wish for someone to heal… and struggling with mental illness, I just need it.

As my novel draws a lot from my personal experiences and how I see the world, this fits the story's playlist quite well… and its Mass Effect related… sooo doubly perfect~

Sooooo I will go wait for food now and play some Mahjong or whatever :D Have a lovely day~

#writing #creative writing #on writing #national novel writing mont #nanowrimo 2023 #nanowrimo #sci fi novel #science fiction #sci fi #writing challenge #writing journal #writing journey #faunts #mass effect #Youtube

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amimimi · 3 years ago

Text

kissing face

synopsis: tiktok makes langa a lil insecure

genre: fluff

pairing: langa x reader

warnings: mentions of insecurity and physical appearance, kissing

word count: 1.4 k

notes: i started thinking about what langa’s fyp on tiktok would look like (it would be chaotic. pure, utter chaos. that and cooking tutorials. no in between) and then I wrote a lil paragraph for sh*ts and giggles. and THEN it turned into...all of this. also, i wrote this during my study breaks so if the gramma/spelling is off, it’s because my brain is actually fried. enjoy!

langa sees all those tiktoks making fun of that face boys make before they kiss you and he’s like “ew?”

but then he tries to practice kiss in the mirror and he’s horrified because wtf wtf wtf wtf? has he been kissing you like this since you started dating him? why haven’t you said anything?

so when he’s over at your house for a studying session, the both of you sitting on your bedroom floor, you don’t notice that langa is purposely withholding from kissing you because you’re in study mode.

the timer on your phone goes off, signaling for you both to take a break. sighing deeply, you rub the back of your cramping neck and look up from your laptop. you turn over to langa, who’s eyes are glossed over from reading, his hair a mess from frustratedly running his fingers through his locks—he looks like he’s just been shuttled from another dimension.

“i’ve...been rereading the same five sentences for the last thirty minutes” he murmurs, sounding equally as dazed as he looks.

this earns a giggle from you, as you shimmy over to wear he sits. with a sympathetic smile on your face, you smooth his hair down as you coo “poor baby”, before you start giggling again.

langa, whose brain is way too fried to respond, can only stare at you, blinking ever so slowly. you settle closer to him, cupping his cheeks and langa catches your gaze dropping to his lips.

suddenly, he gets a mental image of those god awful expression he saw on tiktok and he’s shaken from his studying induced stupor. Wide eyed, langa wriggles out you grasp feeling a little bad at your confused expression.

“is something the matter?” you ask, frowning slightly. “i’m sorry—”

langa places his hands over your cheeks before you can finish your apology. “close your eyes” he says, straight faced.

you blink. “huh?” you question.

“can you close your eyes...please?” he mumbles, a lot less confident than before. he pouts a little in an attempt to conceal the fact that he’s slightly blushing (you notice).

still confused, you shut your eyes. “okay, but hurry up. your hands are cold—” you stop yourself when he feel his breath fan your face. without thinking, you inhale on instinct. it was embarrassing to admit, but you loved the scent of langa’s breath. he was impeccable when it came to hygiene, so he always smelled nicely. but you loved langa’s scent—it was hard to explain. he always smelled like mint and well, himself. him. him. him. him.

you knew what was coming next, but you couldn’t help but jump when his lips met yours—soft and hesitant. inhaling much more deeply this time, you slightly part your lips and lean into the kiss. langa hums appreciatively and you bring your hands up to grasp onto his forearms.

before you can open your eyes, langa swiftly pulls away, leaving you slightly dazed. you open your eyes to see langa cautiously staring at you.

“why...what was that all about?” you ask, trying to keep your face from twisting into a smile. you give langa’s forearms a squeeze and he drops his hands from your face, resting them on your lap.

“nothing...” langa mumbles, looking everywhere but at you.

he was obviously not telling the truth, and you knew that. but you also knew that the inner workings of langa’s mind was an enigma and if you were being honest, this wasn’t even close to being the strangest thing he’s done.

so you let it go—that is until he’s getting ready to go home.

you’re standing in the doorway, watching langa tie his shoes before he stands up straight and adjusts the strap of his messenger bag over his chest.

you grin. “that was hot”

langa blinks. “what was?” he asks, bending over to pick up his skateboard.

“when you adjust your bag like that” you reply softly, sliding your fingers over the strap before you bring your hand over his chest.

langa’s confused expression melts into a fond smile. you think he looks prettiest like this, smiling so easily with a gentle shimmer in his eye, like moonlight reflecting off the ocean.

“okay, i’ll keep note of that” he replies quietly and you can’t help but giggle at the sharp contradiction between his formal choice of words and the affectionate tone of his voice.

langa continues to softly grin as you giggle.

but then, oh shit, you’re staring at his lip again. langa panics, not wanting to ruin the moment but he’ll be damned if you see that ugly ass expression on his face before he goes in for kiss. but you must’ve seen it before right? did you notice but chose not to say anything out to preserve his feelings? did he really look like a fish while kissing you? a fish?

“all that studying must’ve fried your brain, huh?” you smile at him through half-lidded eyes, drumming your fingers against his chest. langa realizes he’s been staring at you with a dead expression and bites his lip.

langa takes the hand you’ve placed in his chest and grips it. “goodnight, y/n” he whispers before hesitating. “c-close your eyes”

the smile on your face falters as you take in langa’s tensed appearance. you tilt your head to one side. “why?”

“so...”

“so...?”

“i can kiss you goodnight”

there’s a long pause. langa’s grip on your hand has increased tenfold as he stares at you expectantly and he almost looks—nervous?

you blink, still confused, before langa reluctantly continues on.

“just...until i figure out how to fix my face...” he mumbles, eyes flitting off to the side.

“okay, now I’m really lost”

“i—” langa starts before sighing, deciding it would be better to show you. with the hand that isn’t clasped against yours, langa whips his phone from his pocket and unlocks it.

bewildered, you watch your boyfriend closely as he navigates through his phone—for what? you have no clue. off handedly, you think to yourself about how cute his expression is, brows furrowed and his lips set in a tiny pout.

“this, this” he rushes, bringing up his phone up to your face. you watch the tiktok he’s pulled up for you, in which a girl imitates the different ways boys go in for kisses.

you purse your lips in an attempt to conceal your smile, your chest jumping with an aborted giggle.

“oh, that’s—” the sentence dies in your throat when you look up at langa to see his dejected expression. “oh, no no no, langa, no. sweetheart, no”

“we’ve been dating for months—” langa mutters as you cup his cheeks, standing on your tip toes so that you’re eye level with him.

“no, oh my god, langa!” you half-whine, giggling as you try to get langa to look at you. he directs his gaze toward the ground, cheeks warm in against your palms.

“—and you didn’t tell me that I was making fish eyes at you?”

“well, not fish eyes” you offer thoughtfully and langa peers up at your earnestly. you drop one hand from his cheek to grab his forearm, raising his hand so you can examine his phone again. you rewatch the tiktok again. “your eyes don’t get scary wide and you don’t let your mouth hang open like that”

the sigh of relief langa let’s out almost sends you into a laughing fit.

“but...”

langa winces, giving a slight whimper behind shut lips.

“i mean, you do cross your eyes a little—”

langa shuts his eyes, face grim, like you just told him his puppy passed away.

“but it’s really cute, insanely hot, very model-esque!” you rush, but langa hangs his head. you fight the urge to roll your eyes at his theatrics.“there has never been a time in which you’ve looked even remotely mediocre, let alone unattractive.”

langa glances up you.

“but it’s embarrassing...” he murmurs.

“but your hot...”

“i can still be embarrassed!”

“so you agree?”

“agree?”

“that you’re hot?”

langa’s face flushes as you smile up at him innocently. “i...never said that” he mumbles, turning his face from you.

“well if it truly bothers you, we can practice” you offer, gently pinching his cheek.

“right now?” he asks incredulously.

“only if you’d like” you shrug, placing your hands on top of langa’s biceps. his heart beat quickens when you grin up at him coquettishly. “i think you kiss fine, but i can make you into a bona fide kisser if you want.”

“how long would that take?” langa questions. in his head, he imagines that it would take days—weeks, even, to scrap off the awkward expressions from his face.

“hmm,” you hum with faux thoughtfulness, tapping your finger against your cheek. “when is reki coming to take you to S tonight?”

“11:45?”

“i’ll have you done by 11:30”

langa blinks at you, cheeks slightly rosy. then, his face falls into that easy smile, the smile that you love so much.

notes: dramatic langa is very pleasing to me. this was supposed to be like, two paragraphs long but then it turned into all of this. please excuse me for any errors, i’ve been studying for midterms all day and I wrote this during my 5 minute breaks lfkgkdk@&:$:

i’ll come back to edit this!

#sk8 the infinty #sk8 the infinity x reader #langa x reader #langa hasegawa x reader #langa x you #langa x y/n

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mvttsvn · 4 years ago

Text

Useless [pt1]

Modern college!au

toxic Eren x gn!reader

warnings: angst, explicit themes, dubcon, embarrassment, manipulation, degradation, OOC, cussing, and typos

authors note: this has been sittin in my drafts for months I just haven’t had the motivation to finish. there will be a part 2 with smut I just wanted to get this out first.

part 2

Eren liked to think he was a pretty simple guy. He’d meet someone, use them for his benefit, lead them on till he didn’t need them anymore, then disappear. A sick trick that he used to manipulate all kinds of people. Life really can be easy with the right looks and a smooth voice. He and only ever got what he needed. He understands how selfish it is. But gotten him this far, so what would be the point in changing.

Unfortunately, you had been one of the unlucky few to get caught up in his schemes. Let’s be honest it wasn’t a surprise, you knew of him before. A few of your friends pinned over him for being the cute nicotine-addicted guy who couldn’t care less about World Literature 1-2. But you believed each and everyone of of his sweet little promises. “No you’re so special, I think I’m gonna keep you around for a long time sweetheart.” Deception dripping from his lips as he gave you a sinful grin.

You should’ve known...

It’s been a few months now since Eren blocked and deleted your number for his phone, the last time you spoke was when he texted you to thank you for helping him pass his English final. You replied with asking if he wanted to get lunch the following day only to be left with your text never going through. That motherfucker. Of course you were angry, mostly at yourself though. You tried not to sulk about it yet every time you’d go out you’d dress up a little then you would usually just in case you’d see him. And luckily he wasn’t in any of your classes this semester either so it would be easier to forget him.

At this point you haven’t thought of Eren in weeks, you’ve focused yourself in uni and started taking assignments and things more seriously. That was until one of Eren’s roommates unknowingly took a seat next to you in your intro to ethics course.

You’ve been to Eren’s apartment a multitude of times. You knew who his roommates were, even after having a few conversations in the late morning with them after you would spend the night. Armin, who was too engrossed from whatever was on his phone plopped his books right next to you and took a seat not sparing you a glance. Once you professor started speaking he locked his phone slipping it into his pocket and glance around the room. Once he looked at you his blue eye widened and he sorta whispered “oh hey! y/n didn’t know you were in here”

You shrugged and gave a polite smile while turning back to look at the front of the room to stare through one of the windows above the projector screen. It’s not like you hated Armin, he was very kind and never judged you when you’d take the walk of shame in the morning through Eren’s kitchen, it’s just you know that this interaction would eventually lead back to him and that made you nervous.

A week or two passed and Armin continued to sit next you, you supposed it was more comfortable for him because it didn’t look like he knew anyone else in this class, neither did you. Nor were you complaining he’d give you notes and lend you his book when you would forget. Not much conversation would happen between you either, a simple hello and other small talk would occur nothing more. A very professional relationship.

Yet when your professor assigned a partner projects you and Armin both looked at each other like :| and silently agreed to work together. It was just easier that way. The assignment wasn’t due for another 2 weeks so you had confidence that you wouldn’t have to grind at the end of the this week to do it. Until Armin caught your arm as you were leaving.

“Hey sorry to ask but would it be ok if we could work on this after school? I have a lot of stuff due this week and I’m in a bit of a time crunch.” He shyly laughed hoping you weren’t busy.

You held in a sigh “Uhh sure, can I meet you at 5 tho..I have a thing-”.

“Yeah! That’d be fine, my place?”

You kinda really didn’t want to go to his place, “yea!”

You both continued listening to your teacher’s lecture while your mind was elsewhere, you didn’t have anything after school you just wanted to go home for a bit and prepare for who you may or may not see at Eren’s Armins apartment. By the end of the day you raced home, flopping onto your bed, this was a bad idea, why didn’t you just ask for him to meet at the library or something?? This situation could’ve been a whole lot simpler if you just offered your place instead. Hell you don’t have any unconventional roommates you sleep with him so it’s just unfair. At 4:45 you gather your things and drove over to Armin’s apartment. You knocked on the door, your nerves going haywire.

You’re greeted by Armin he smiled and opened the door for you letting you walk inside. You took a glance to the side and luckily Eren’s familiar beat up tennis shoes weren’t by the door. At least you could relax for a little while, hopefully he wouldn’t come home till you were gone.

Jean was sitting on the couch watching some action movie at a low volume with Connie who was fast asleep curled up with a throw pillow. The lights in the living room were dim with the curtains on the windows shut. Yet you could still see from the light in the kitchen that shone from above the counter. Jean gave you a nod, “welcome back” he half whispered as he tipped his drink at you. You smiled and waved and made your way into Armin’s room. You sat at the edge of his desk in a borrowed kitchen chair, as he joined you sitting in his computer chair in front of his desktop. He left his door slightly ajar letting you see right through into the kitchen and front door, which made you slightly on edge. Armin started going over the project, opening a document, and reading through a few paragraphs. You tried your best you to concentrate but you were too paranoid. Every so often a loud noise from Jean’s movie on the tv would make you whip your head towards the door. About an hour in you and Armin had crunched through about a few paragraphs and of your project, to Armin’s mistake you guys definitely weren’t going to finish tonight. Hopefully the next time you’d offer your place instead.

After another 30 minutes you and Armin gave up, eventually you guys made your way back into the living room. You went to the door to gather your things until Jean and Connie basically begged you to stay and watch another movie with them. You didn’t want to, you knew if you stayed any longer the possibility of Eren coming home would increase. But when Connie got up from the couch and handed you a drink, you gave in. As you sat down you began slightly regretting your decision. Why were you staying? You and Armin were finished you can go home.

You asked yourself this when you heard keys jangle outside the door and the click of the lock. It’s roughly pushed open and Eren moves into the room, swiftly locking it behind him. “Hey man” Jean calls, you immediately tense next to Armin and fix a stare at the tv. You’re too aware of your surroundings right now to know what happening but you need a distraction. You can see his movement in your peripheral, Eren saunters in to the dark living room to stand by the opposite of the end of the couch from you. when he spots you, you can feel his blazing stare in your skull, he laughs out a scoff and the room goes silent, except for the low murmur of the tv.

The air is tense and awkward and everybody can see your apprehension. your heart it beating in your ears and you can feel you palms starting to sweat. The sounds of the tv are immediately drowned out when Eren breathes our your name. “What the hell are you doing here?” He grips the arm of the couch and places his left hand on his hip. You slowly turn your head to look him in the eyes when Armin speaks up trying to lighten the situation “We had a project for sadis’ class”

Your eyes dart between Eren and Armin when Eren snides, “hmm...well it doesn’t look like your working on it”

“hey layoff man” Jean gives him a side eye. “Yeah we finished just a few minutes ago.” Armin adds.

“It was just a question” Eren shrugs. You can believe him, he such a fucking asshole, you’re staring at him in disbelief when he meets your eyes again he laughs “what did you miss me or somethin?” His grin is sickening, you feel the embarrassment hot on your face yet what can you do in the situation? If you leave you’ll destroy your pride and yet if you stay what if you give in to him again?

Your frozen in your seat you nails digging shapes into you palms as you clench them together. You feel the stare of everyone one in the room and it makes you want to cry. He tilts his head “can’t you speak? what wrong?” the malice in his voice makes your ears burn. You want to scream, you want to run, but he slowly walks right in front of you and holds out his hand. “C’mon”

You can leave at any moment, the door is only a few feet away yet you cautiously place your palm into his as he hauls you up from your seat. No one says anything as you guys leave the room, what a complicated situation this is huh?

As he opens his door you try to glace back at the others yet he roughly pulls your arm though and slams his bedroom door. You hope they don’t blame you too much for going with him. You stand in the middle of a very familiar room, one you’ve visited many times yet you’re too scared too move from the spot you currently occupy. He turns to face you locking the door behind him and takes a few steps forward. You look at the floor as you begin speaking “Eren I-”

“ohhhh so you can talk?”

“yes’ you puff.

He fits his hand under your chin proceeding to squish your cheeks to face him. “I don’t like you hanging out with them when I’m not around” his hot breath fan your face and you widen your eyes. The audacity. “What do you mean, were not even together anymo-” you voice smothered by his grip.

He tips his head back and see concern in his eyes, its almost like he was hurt by your words, “Yes we are” his eyebrows scrunched together. You go to spit out another sentence when his hand moves to cover you entire mouth, he brings face to your ear, “You wound me y/n, how could you think that? I thought you loved me?” Why does he sounds so genuine? Your mind is fuzzy with confusion, of course he’s lying, you would never in a million years utter those words to him during the short time you were together. Yet the pain in his voice and the grip on your jaw is making you dizzy, his hot breath on your ear and neck are causing goosebumps to raise on your skin.

Your smaller hand goes to grip his forearm that's holding your face. He moved to look into your eyes. The dim light from the lamp in the far corner of the room casts a shadow upon his face, yet his deep green eyes seem to glow. He slowly moves his hand away placing it on your shoulder as his free hand moves to your hip. You want to yell at him, ask his why he’s doing this to you, but you place your palm softly onto his chest and drop your head in shame, “I’m sorry..i..I didn’t know” you whispered.

His warm hand goes to caress your cheek and moves into your hair lightly pulling to make you face him. “It’s ok babe, you just have to make it up to me” his chest rumbles underneath your hands as you eye widen. “You can do that, right?” You slowly nod your head and bunch his t-shirt under your fingers. He places a soft kiss on your forehead and lead you towards his bed in the corner of the room. He takes a seat on his dark blue comforter and your stand in front of him. Your hands lightly holding onto his index fingers as he carefully rocks them back and forth. You take another look at his face and see the artificial softness slowly fade away into something dark, and conspiring.

“On your knees babe” his voice sounding rougher than before. You begin another protest but he takes his warm palms and encircles your waist to urge you down. You slowly fall to your knees, your hands on his thighs while digging your nails into his rough jeans. Your mind slowly starts to unfog and start realizing what your doing. Your shame and regret tug at your heart and you feel the tears begin to prick your eyes. You look up at Eren and see the distain in his eyes. He hums and caresses you shoulder. You wept into your chest as you feel the air being stolen from your lungs Eren moves his calloused hand to your throat and tugs to make you look him in the eyes.

Why did you have to be so damn proud?

#eren angst #eren jeager #eren yeager #aot eren #eren imagines #eren x y/n #eren x you #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager x y/n #eren jeager x you #eren fic.📗#useless series.mvt

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jlf23tumble · 3 years ago

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Idk if it’s just me but this is Harry’s least “sus” relationship for me. Like, Camille would have been pointless as a stunt because they were hardly seen together and nobody knew who she was but at least it wasn’t detrimental and she was someone who his fans could project themselves on but Olivia??

Like, there’s the whole timeline thing, which I won’t get into, I don’t care and it’s none of my business but a lot of people do care and the media brought it up constantly at the beginning, that’s bad press for both of them. It’s her second directorial project and people are gonna talk about her boyfriend more than her, I doubt Olivia would want that if she wasn’t in love with said boyfriend. There’s the whole knowing how much scrutiny it will add to the movie, there’s the whole age gap thing and the whole, you know, her having kids.

Like, who does this benefit? Yeah the movie has been featured on tabloids a lot more than it would’ve otherwise, but with the cast it already has and the premise, it didn’t need that sort of push? There are so many articles by so many huge media outlets talking about how excited they are for the movie and hardly anyone even mentions their relationship in it.

Also, 99% of what the fandom knows about the relationship, the GP doesn’t, all the fan photos, all the walks, all the sharing clothes thing, that she and her kids live with him, that she drives his car, that they spent Christmas with both of their families and stuff, like nobody is checking for that, so what’s the point of it?? So much time and effort from two huge millionaire celebrities to convince a handful of fans that would’ve watched the movie regardless?

Also Harry is at a point in his career where being single and attainable would be a HUGE advantage, career-wise. Harry as a stepdaddy with a girlfriend pushing 40 is probably one of the least attractive scenarios for fans who want to project themselves with him. And while men don’t exactly go obsolete once they reach 30, it’s always a better age for heartthrobs to be in their 20s rather than 30s. So these last few years, where he’s at the top of the game in terms of fame and career, still in his 20s, are probably exactly when “they” would want him single and available. Any “stunt” would be with a highly desirable “it” woman like, idk, Bella Hadid or Sydney Sweeney, and last a couple of months tops.

And they can’t claim “she’s a beard” because Harry was single for nearly 3 years and nobody’s mind changed about his sexuality lmao. Also nobody would’ve thought that he was gay because he played a gay man in a movie. So I’m just here confused, what exactly is the gain of this “stunt”?

I can understand thinking Taylor or Kendall were stunts. I don’t think they were but at least they were high profile and got him a ton of publicity. I can understand thinking that Nadine or Camille were stunts because while pointless at least they weren’t harmful and they were pretty models his fans could project themselves onto and use for their Wattpad covers. Olivia makes zero sense as a stunt in any capacity.

Ma'am or sir, this is one long-ass ask full of utter nonsense that required coffee in the morning and wine at night to even read it through, and the wine is just kicking in enough to make me want to indulge in this utter waste of time responding to you, so here goes! Bulleted notes, by paragraph-response level first, then my own hot takes, and honestly, if you make me read something this long, guess what, you're gonna do the same! More under the cut because I love my mutuals who don't have to deal with this level of horseshit, and I can type fast:

1. (para 1) Better question: Why is Camille's relationship more "sus" than this one when they both serve the exact same purpose (i.e., givin' the gloss to the shine of whatever's happening lyrically in the album to come)? Camille isn't pointless if you a) want to write some breakup songs and then b) publicly break up with someone. I haven't heard hs3 yet, but I'm definitely curious about the content accordingly. Oh, and RED FLAG #1 here for the use of "detrimental," holy fuck, this fandom and the way it hates women, babes, he hired her, he "benefits” a lot more than she does (evidence: the garbage in the rest of this ask and anyone in the olivia/holivia tags). God, I love seeing posts going around right after they slam Olivia saying, it's never okay to blame someone who's in the closet, the irony being it's totally okay to blame the person that the person in the closet hired to help them stay in the closet. And what if THAT person might also not be straight? Anyone??

2. (para 2) This timeline business, no, my love, you DO care, seemingly lots of people who hate women care, lmao. From what I've seen, the movie hasn't gotten bad movie press beyond people in fandom wanting it to, there's a lot of hype (see literally your next paragraph), with most publications helmed by women going with the geddit, gurl response, and most publications run by men thinking Olivia's their dream girl, so geddit, gurl (at Harry). Movie publications genuinely don't care who's fucking who, they literally never have beyond the tee hee gossip of it all. Olivia doesn't need a bunch of accolades for Flo's oscar-winning performance, she needs seats in seats (this is my guess), like any director, and she's gonna geddit (gurl). Good for her! Wish people could give this much of a shit when male directors date their female stars and the public lines blur. RED FLAG #2 for the "worrying" about the age gap--she's ten years older, he's a grown-ass adult (again, where's the concern if that sex is flipped), the whole "you know, her having kids." GOD FORBID someone has kids somewhere and publicly dates someone else, so glad for all of us that fans are in the know about what the kids deal with on the daily in this situation, but I would pay TOP DOLLAR to see this level of concern about a male director's kids when he's publicly seen with someone who isn't their mom. I'll even give you a freebie--what about Jason? Worried about what the kids think about him dating someone HALF his age? Is he a bad dad when he's out on a date or walking down a street with her? He has a hella popular tv show...how's he juggling it?

3. (para 3) You answered your own question here--yeah, there ARE tons of huge media outlets talking about this movie that would've been an arthouse hit at best. They don't mention the relationship because it doesn't matter, yet it helped put said movie on their radar because all that online chatter matters, click click, etc. That's show BIZ, it happens every single day, every single movie, it's practically what helps make a smaller movie bigger. Or a bigger movie bigger. This isn't new or news!!

4. (para 4) See above, what's not clicking, the point of it is clicks! And there is ZERO time and effort put into it, they've done a few pap walks (idk the term for boat walk), and it's done! Sold! Clicked! I don't know how this is some kind of burden for anyone--other than those people who feel compelled to click on the link, then copy, paste, circle in red, underline, add arrows, attribute the wrong emotions to facial characteristics, repeat, then reblog it ad nauseum so everyone in fandom sees it. Talk about doing the work! It ain't Harry Styles, bb!

5. (para 5) I'm actually kind of relieved to see the ageism in this para also applied to Harry, too, but I'd suggest that maybe, just maybe, Harry doesn't WANT to be seen as single and ready to mingle (I haven't heard the album yet, though). Even then, gasp, what if he WANTS to be a stepmom?? How dare he!

6. (para 6) This is the para that broke me, where to even start, my love, SO MANY PEOPLE think he's gay, he has openly and actively played with that perception, and for whatever reasons you want to imagine, he's not openly actively out yet, hence he has a beard. You know, someone he has hired to help maintain his public privacy in terms of his sexuality. Every sentence in this para, whew.

7. (para 7) Okay, THIS is the para that lost me because if you don't think TAYLOR SWIFT or KENDALL JENNER were stunts or beards, I wonder if you can handle the idea of bearding in general and/or the concept that women in Hollywood aren't always straight eitehr. I know, it's hard to think of women outside the male lens, but maybe--just MAYBE--it's mutually beneficial, le gasp! I would also argue the "harmful" here because lorde, so many people were up in arms about Camille, and they just doubled down on Olivia, which is truly ironic if you identify as a l*rrie. Olivia makes THE MOST sense if you DO identify as such, but again, haven't heard the lyrics yet, just guessin'.

....blergh I ran out of steam on my own hot takes, but I'll say this:

1. Friendly reminder, you don't work at HQ, you do not get paid to know, to wonder, or to worry what the purpose of ANY of it is. Maybe there is one! Maybe there isn't! Who cares!

2. How sad I am for people who wring their hands over this kind of inconsequential bullshit instead of finding like-minded people to laff with over crack theories like the Oli/Eleanor strike for better benefits, Jeff's obsession with the TV show House meaning he forced Harry to write Olivia back in 2014 and date her now...and possibly name this album Harry's House as the world's best homage. Jesus CHRIST, have some fun! If you're gonna traffic in nonsense, for the love of yourself, traffic in fun nonsense. (Note: this does not apply to BONKERS people who legit think that Jeff sold Harry to Olivia Wilde for ~reasons, you gotta NOT hate women for true fandom enjoyment to seep in, which probably explains so much of the misery, if u think about it)

3. I could argue until I'm blue in the face about closeting, but this is a weird fandom that insists on outing its faves and not getting that the forcing of that card is just gonna push the doubling down on NOT coming out until your faves are able or willing to come out. And that might never happen, tbh! And you might have to live with that, you know, because it's okay!

#one direction #LONG POST #i just...i don't know what to say at a certain point #it's hard when you don't know how old or how naive someone is #but the heavy cloak of misogyny is a tougher deal imo #imagine bringing this nonsense to me lmao

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wistfulwatcher · 4 years ago

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Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.

#ask #me #personal #i am so sorry this is a novel #i hope that it helps you even a little!#can you believe i can write about myself for 2 hours? embarrassing lmao #long post

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blackjack-15 · 3 years ago

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Two Can Keep a Secret (if the Family Tree is Dead) — Thoughts on: Ghost of Thornton Hall (GTH)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP, ASH, TMB, DED

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: GTH; SPY; mention of ASH (and the ASH meta); mention of Nik/HER’s spoilery hints about GTH.

NOTE: THIS META CONTAINS DISCUSSION OF AND REFERENCE TO SEXUAL ASSAULT. MORE DETAILED SECTIONS ARE MARKED, BUT THIS WARNING STANDS FOR THE WHOLE META.

The Intro:

It’s time to get our Spooky on, lads. And we’re gonna do it in a meta of truly staggering length, so maybe go to the bathroom and get a snack before you start. My apologies.

Due to the (to be quite frank) absence of nostalgia surrounding them, there’s not really many games that are post 2010 that the fandom tends to agree on, but Ghost of Thornton Hall happens to be a standout in that pretty much everyone has found something to like about it. It often tops the charts of “best newer game” polls, and puts in a valiant effort against the more nostalgic mainstays.

There are a lot of reasons for this, in my mind – the quality of the writing, the choices that Nancy can make that actually affect the outcome of the game and especially affect Nancy, the fabulous voice work, the purposely-unanswered questions that give a deeper sense of horror — but if you ask me, the love for GTH really boils down to one thing:

Atmosphere.

Nancy Drew game fans (and I’m including myself in this) tend to prioritize atmosphere in the games, probably because without good and proper atmosphere it’s easier to pick apart the formula as you’re playing and to avoid being immersed in the game’s story, and GTH has it thick on the ground (figuratively and literally). The fear, unease, and overall sense of being an Intruder in this story comes from the overwhelming atmosphere provided by the grief of the characters, the time-sensitive nature of the crime, the secrets of the house and family, and, of course, the rather stellar visuals and locations.

The Thornton’s house and grounds really feel alive, but dead — in fact, they almost feel alive in the way that a zombie is, where they function and feed but have no heart. The gloriously (and meticulously) decorated walls are cast in shadow and grime; the portraits feel ominous and disapproving rather than lifelike and nostalgic; even the graveyard, as spread out and opulent as it is, feels claustrophobic and unwelcoming.

In a word, the game is – visually, thematically, story-wise, and atmospherically — haunting. And I think that overwhelming feeling of being haunted is, in large part, what draws fans back to this game again and again.

It should come as no surprise, then, that the scariest parts of this game are the things that you, as the player, do not see. Sure, the apparitions of Charlotte, the ghostly figures, the appearance of Harper — these are all scary, but the fear is gone after a moment, leaving the player unsettled but not running to hide under a blanket. The deaths of the fifty-four souls, the secret behind Clara’s birth, Harper’s breakdown — all these things that you don’t see, that you can only hear about or have hinted at are where the fear of the game kicks in, especially for older players.

It’s no secret that, despite the games being labeled for ages 10 and up, that the actual age of the Nancy Drew games fandom hasn’t been around 10 for some time — most people playing these games are in their 20s or 30s, or have siblings who are in their 20s and 30s and got into the games through them. Sure, there are some outliers, but the Clue Crew is much closer in general to the ages of the River Heights crew than they are to the age that that box says.

Because of this, the writers (and I’m going to especially hat-tip Nik here) behind the games have been able to slowly graduate the topics of the games to be a little bit older, hiding the true horror behind things that younger kids just won’t think about. This is especially the case with GTH and SPY, but you see it in a lot of the newer games, where the implications of events are normally scarier than the events themselves.

GTH takes that and runs with it, choosing to hint at and dance around truly upsetting — for any age — topics, presenting a mystery and a story that only get scarier once you’ve finished staring at the screen. The characters’ emotional problems and issues — loss, abandonment, anxiety, guilt — are like this too; while they’re present in the game itself, when you take a step back after finishing the game you realize just how badly scarred everyone is in the story.

Because answers were purposely left vague in order to 1) make the player work for it and 2) keep the 10+ rating, pretty much everyone who plays GTH has a slightly different opinion on what went down at Charlotte’s party, who the Thorntons really are, the circumstances of Clara’s birth, why the children of a female Thornton take their mother’s name — you name it, and there’s around 10 distinct opinions on it, and many more offshoots of those opinions besides.

I’m going to talk a little bit here about a couple of the “biggies”, since I don’t want it cluttering up the Suspect portion of this meta, so bear with me. I’m not so much interested in “this is the Correct answer” as much as just presenting the information from the game and wondering about its conclusions…but I (like everyone else) have my little pet theories, so what follows will be a little bit of reporting, a little bit of inference, and a little bit of supposition.

What follows is a frank discussion of topics such as rape and incest as they apply to GTH. If this is something you’d rather not consume, skip down to the next bolded line.

The most talked-about question left hanging in the game is, of course, who Clara’s father was. I think this question is best addressed from a two-pronged approach, however, because to figure out who Clara’s father could have been is a question that requires another question to be answered: why would Clara’s mother not tell her, even on her deathbed.

The most popular — and horrifying — answer to this is that Clara’s father is Jackson, and that she was a product of rape and incest. Now, just looking at the timeline, this theory adds up; Rosalie (Clara’s mum) would have been 25 when her father was 51 and would have raped her — young enough (especially in relation to her father, a middle-aged man of a lot of power in and out of the family) that she would have been scared to tell anyone anything, but old enough to not have it be super out of the ordinary that she got pregnant and had a baby — especially in 1968.

To add to this theory, there’s the note in the cellar that asks “who was this Jackson?...what’s he hiding, and who put it there? Was it Charlotte?”. If you’re looking for clues with the incest theory in mind, this seems to point directly to it — “who was this Jackson”? both Rosalie and Clara’s father. “What’s he hiding”? his crime of raping his daughter and impregnating her. The mention of Charlotte alludes to the supposition that Charlotte found proof of this crime — tangible proof — and put it somewhere; this pretty much supposes that there’s a document somewhere that names Jackson as Clara’s biological father, such as an admission of guilt or a paternity test.

The final “proof-positive” to this theory is that Rosalie refused to tell Clara who her father was even on her deathbed. We know from the family tree and Wade that Clara was between 5-10 when her mother died (I’m inclined to believe the family tree, and chalk the discrepancy up to either the writers not being concerned with math or, more likely and more charitably, to show that Wade isn’t a Perfectly Reliable source, just like everyone else), and Rosalie’s protection of Clara from the truth makes sense with a child in that age span. It’s one (horrible, horrible) thing to be forcibly impregnated by your father, but to have to say it out loud, and to say it to your child — that’s something that no one can even remotely blame Rosalie for not being up to, especially when weakened by sickness.

There are smaller points — like pointing out that this might be why Virginia (Wade’s mum) was skipped over in inheritance — but these small points have dozens of explanations, so they’re not really good for bolstering a theory unless you’re already dedicated to it and are looking for crumbs to shore it up.

End of frank discussion. The previous topics may be alluded to and/or mentioned, but not discussed in detail from this point on.

Now, let’s talk about another explanation. I think there’s a tendency to jump on the “Jackson Theory” because 1) there are clues that support it, but more importantly 2) because it’s horrifying, and it’s natural to leap to the scariest thing you can think of when considering a game that relies on fridge horror in the first place.

In the “Jackson Theory”, Rosalie would have hidden Clara’s parentage because of shame, horror, and trauma, and probably to (at least momentarily) spare Clara’s feelings — but Jackson isn’t the only explanation for her reticence.

Generally, we can break apart the reasons for Rosalie’s silence into three distinct emotions or emotional states: shame (supports the Jackson Theory), trauma (supports an assault by a known wolf), or, often overlooked, ignorance.

Clara is mentioned repeatedly as being outwardly and obviously scared about her place in the family — a fear borne from and exacerbated in her childhood, as Nik plainly states (“her insecurity wasn’t just a personal flaw, it was a response to her uneven upbringing,” emphasis mine).

An easy way for Rosalie, worried as she must have been about leaving her daughter alone, to fix this if Clara really was a product of incest, is to name a distant Thornton cousin, preferably one who was already dead or out of the picture, as the father, which would assure Clara’s place in the Thornton line by both blood and her future adoption. This way, if Clara’s parentage was tested, she’d show up as a Thornton from both sides in a way that wouldn’t be suspicious, and her daughter would have an easier life.

But Rosalie didn’t do this — she never even hinted at the identity of Clara’s father. As a woman known primarily for secret keeping — not just about Clara, but about everything (“She loved her secrets,” Wade says), Rosalie would have been adept at hiding things through various means, including through lies and subterfuge, not simply staying silent. Given the little we know of Rosalie’s character, then, let’s consider why she wouldn’t have said anything — even something false — to ensure her daughter’s safety when she died.

Looking outside of Jackson (and with any other known Thornton being quite unlikely), the vast majority of assaults are committed by those known to their victim — friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc.

The Thorntons were — and are — an incredibly powerful family, both monetarily and socially. Having dealt with families such as the Thorntons before in matters like this one, it is frankly incredibly unlikely that, had Rosalie been assaulted by someone she knew, that the truth wouldn’t have come to light through another source, and that the perpetrator would have been punished in every way possible.

BRIEF DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT STATISTICS AS THEY RELATE TO ROSALIE’S POSSIBLE CASE.

Some people familiar with only the post-20th-century world as “the modern age” and with a less stellar grasp of the pre-tech-boom world might raise an eyebrow at this supposition of punishment, but this is Exactly what would have happened — and did happen with regularity — even as “far back” as ’68 — especially when the crime was committed against a young, privileged, wealthy woman of the community.

Note, this is after the USMPC adjustment to the definition of rape in ’62, but before the adjustments in the early 70s; in 9 years, forcible rape rates (this number includes only female victims, so the true number of victims is indisputably higher, given the enormous jump in rape statistics in 2016-present as male cases have been included) had soared in the United States from around 17,000 per year in 1960 to, in the year Clara was born, 31,000 reported cases (source: DisasterCenter). With these soaring numbers came soaring awareness, and combined with Rosalie’s identity as a rich, powerful young woman in a rich, powerful family, it’s on the outside of belief that, had her attacker’s identity been known or suspected, that it could have remained a secret and gone unpunished.

END OF BRIEF DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT STATISTICS AS THEY RELATE TO ROSALIE’S POSSIBLE CASE.

Given this historical and social backing, the simplest and unavoidable potential answer to why Rosalie wouldn’t have either told Clara who her father was or made up a “brief love” who abandoned her Dishonorably, is this: she didn’t know.

(I’ll spare a mention here to say that, ignorance because of being a “wild child” in the 60s and having had multiple partners would be a possible theory, but it disregards everything else we know about Rosalie and her behavior, and that her reputation as a party girl would have been common knowledge, unable to be hidden from those who were alive at the time. So let’s move on to what else would cause ignorance.)

Though attacks by a person unknown to the victim are, in relation to known assailants, rare, in the absence of other evidence, the simplest answer to Clara’s parentage was that Rosalie was assaulted by someone that she did not know and had no way of knowing — and who had no idea of the social power of his victim.

Rosalie truly left nothing behind that points to her daughter’s parentage, even for later discovery or for Clara’s private eyes in a bank lockbox when she came of an Age that Rosalie deemed appropriate — so the conclusion to be drawn is, in the absence of evidence, that Rosalie didn’t answer Clara’s question because she simply couldn’t.

This ties into the other theory/mystery I want to cover here — that of what happened the night Charlotte died, and how (and in what way) Clara was culpable and responsible for Charlotte’s death. We know that, according to her, Clara went there simply to “scare” Charlotte — and given the circumstances that Clara gives this confession in, I’m inclined to believe her — and it’s my opinion that the reason didn’t have anything to do with the truth of the identity of Clara’s father.

My stance here — and it’s here that I take a solid stance, rather than presenting options — with Charlotte (and I’ll talk more about her general character in the Suspects section) is that Charlotte found the same breadcrumbs as the players did and came to the same conclusion — that Jackson was Clara’s biological father. The difference, however, is that I believe Charlotte’s conclusion to be understandable, but ultimately incorrect, and that Rosalie’s assaulter was a stranger.

Horrified, this is where Charlotte’s “cryptic obsession with Jackson” (mentioned in the note in the cellar) began, and what led to her changing the beneficiary of her will from Clara — poor, pitiable Clara, already a victim of so much, whose insecurities would be compounded by this truth — to Harper.

An important part of this theory — and of really any theory — is the consideration that Clara was pregnant with Jessalyn at the time. Not only does this partially explain why Clara’s thought was to save herself (and her baby) rather than dragging Charlotte out with her (regardless of any other factor), but it also brings a potential answer as to why Charlotte would change her will to favor Harper, rather than Clara. Just as the cellar note asks “Who was this Jackson?”, I find myself asking a similar, but no less important question:

“Who was this Austin Neely?”

Listed as Jessalyn’s (still living) father on the family tree, Austin Neely isn’t present anywhere else in the game — not by name and not through mentions of “Jessalyn’s father” or “Clara’s ex-husband/ex-boyfriend” or anything like that. There’s not even a mention of Clara contacting him as a guest for the wedding or to help search for their daughter. His absence is glaring, especially in a game so focused around family — so the question of who is Austin Neely is a question that seems incredibly important to me, given that Clara was pregnant at the time of Charlotte’s death.

In mentioning this theory, I do fully acknowledge that I have only some circumstantial evidence — mostly emotional, and based off of who the characters are/were — to support it, but given the total lack of information on Austin Neely, my guess is as good as anything else.

So here’s my theory: Austin Neely is not Jessalyn’s father, and Clara, like her mother, became pregnant via some type of assault (and given that this was the late 80s and given Clara’s age at the time, I would say the most likely culprit is date rape). When Clara became aware that she was pregnant, given her insecurities about her place in the Thornton clan and her lack of knowledge of her own father, would have come to this conclusion: she was not going to let her baby go through what she herself went through. So she did what her mother could have — and honestly speaking, probably should have — done, and lied.

Austin Neely was probably a friend or an acquaintance of Clara’s — someone her family didn’t really know, but that she could make up a story about dating/being engaged to and became pregnant by before it all fell apart. He would have likely received a payout (probably a rather large payout, given the Thornton’s money and influence) and disappeared from the area and the Thornton’s lives, signing off any responsibility or claim to “their” child before he left.

As a result of this, her child now has a father and doesn’t have to grow up wondering, and Clara avoids the stigma, court case, and general Uproar that would come with attempting to find her attacker. She also, importantly for her, avoids that mess for her child, who will grow up in a semi-normal atmosphere, surrounded by family, not doubting her place in the world — and no one has to know.

Except, of course, one person would know. The head of the family: Charlotte Thornton. From then on, based on this series of events, the story behind Charlotte’s death becomes quite straightforward.

Clara’s paranoia and general cleverness clue her in to the fact that Charlotte has changed her will in Harper’s favor, and is scared out of her mind; having recently experienced a trauma and being pregnant with a child, she’s afraid that she will be left with absolutely nothing, that her machinations with Austin Neely and all her striving will have been for nothing, and she will be cast off, unable to give her child the life she wants to give her.

Compounded by her ground-in fear that she does not belong, she decides to try to settle it with Charlotte — she’s going to scare her, to punish her, and make Charlotte rethink the changed will.

And Charlotte, bearing the weight of the family name and business, not to mention its continued propagation on her shoulders, sees a woman who has been — like her mother — assaulted and left pregnant, whose mental state is already fragile, and who the “revelation” of who Charlotte thinks her true father is would topple her completely — sees poor, pitiable, emotional, suspicious Clara, and refuses.

I think that, more than anything else, would have set Clara off. Remember what she yells at Charlotte’s ghost?

“You had so much, so much, and I had nothing.”

In answering some of the questions about the game, Nik/HER’s response is to say that Clara did not literally light the match that burned Charlotte alive — but we know that Charlotte burned all the same. In the video of her birthday, there are candles; in the dust and soot on the floor where Charlotte died, we see candlesticks. And in the response, again, we know that Charlotte lit the candles for the celebration.

In my ASH meta, I discussed the many meanings of the word “fire” and the term “setting the fire” — and that’s important here too. In this case, the fire was set by Charlotte refusing to reconsider the terms of her will; in her refusal, she probably touched on the same point that she makes in the note in her room — that Clara isn’t stable enough to take over the company. Now, I doubt she would have said that straight to Clara’s face, but even framed as a “you have enough to be going on with and I don’t want to burden you” sort of thing, that just would have reaffirmed all of Clara’s fears — that she was unwanted by the Thornton clan, that her child would be unwanted as a matter of course, and that she would truly have nothing.

And so my guess would be that Clara shoved her. Not hard enough to break anything, not even into a direct flame, but shoved her, and Charlotte jostled the table, and a candelabra fell to the floor, where we see it still in the modern day.

When Nancy sees Charlotte’s ghost out in that house — and yes, I’m firm on that being Charlotte’s actual ghost, as she’s out in the open air so carbon monoxide doesn’t figure in, and there’s no way for that to be Harper/Jessalyn — she burns from the skirt up, which follows with a candle falling to the floor and lighting that incredibly flammable dress on fire.

The last thing to note from HER/Nik’s response is that at the end of the game, Nancy faces the exact same choice that the Thorntons have: to help, or to save herself. In this, we have to look back to Clara and Charlotte, and conclude this: Clara chose not to help. It’s debatable how much help she could have really been — we’re not sure how pregnant she was at the time — or if it even occurred to her until she was already out and chose not to go back in — but at the very least, Clara’s guilt comes not only from the fact that she quarreled with Charlotte right before her death, but that she could have tried to prevent it, and didn’t.

Given the supposition that Charlotte was literally on fire, I really do doubt that getting her out or finding water to throw on her would have been successful, but it doesn’t matter — because Clara looks at it as a choice, and Clara (more importantly) looks at it as the wrong choice, and a choice that she’s been punished for since the day it happened. That’s why, when speaking to Charlotte’s ghost, she says this:

“Haven’t I suffered enough for you?”

The last point I want to make in this OBSCENELY long introduction is about GTH’s place in the pantheon of “Haunting Games”. When you look at the bare-bones (heh) circumstances that make up GTH, you’ll start to see shades of other games.

A relationship/marriage gone a bit wrong, a family secret, an ancestral home, a relative/ancestor whose spectre looms over the story, mysterious apparitions and appearances, and Nancy’s status as an outsider and a skeptic — yeah, both CUR and HAU should come to mind immediately.

Having said my piece about, well, the badness of CUR and HAU and their unsuccessful approach to their basic plot points, it delights me that GTH takes a good hard look at them and says “well, what if we did this well this time? What if we gave our characters the complexity, the emotional resonance, the secrets and lies that we should have the first time?”

Like CUR and HAU, the Family is at the center of the game — except this time we believe in this family, in their relationships to one another, and we feel the effects of the family and their choices, not just hear about it from a diffident 9-year-old or a cranky caretaker. The history of the Thornton clan comes alive through the house, the graveyard, the books and journals that we have of them. We understand what this family is and the choices that they make — even if we don’t approve of them — and they feel real, not just like a background chucked in to Make The Spooky Things Happen.

Also like CUR and HAU, we deal with a central relationship and the complexities that come over two people deciding to get married. Happily, this game (unlike CUR and HAU) treats the central relationship as a thing of Import, and comes to the conclusion that it’s the happiness and well-suitedness of the couple that matters, not the family that surrounds them or anything else. It asks the question “what happens if one person runs away from the relationship?” and answers it, quite satisfactorily, with “there are probably some issues that need ironed out before anything else should happen”.

Interestingly, GTH also takes the good points of CUR and HAU – especially HAU’s atmosphere and CUR’s love of family tidbits — and improves upon them as well. Instead of Jane showing off her studies so that Nancy can solve a few puzzles, Wade walks her through the Thorntons were (at least in his eyes) and helps her get to know the people she’s helping. Instead of being duly impressed at the atmosphere in a bombed-out castle, everywhere on the island is teeming with fog — literal and figurative — as Nancy tries to decode the past to help the future.

Now then, let’s leave the general behind, and focus on the specifics of GTH.

The Title:

Ghost of Thornton Hall is a great title in the way that Secret of the Scarlet Hand is a great title – moody, evocative, gives us our location/focus right away, but not in a way that spoils anything, etc. If anything, it’s a little more flexible – are we dealing with The Ghost of Thornton Hall (Charlotte), the ghost(s) of the Thornton family, the ghosts of those who died on the island, or — in a very fun way — are we talking about the ghost of Thornton Hall — the spirit of the building where so much life and death has happened?

As a title for a Haunting game, you really don’t get much better than GTH, and it centers the player’s attention right where it should be — on the messed up family that the game centers around, and how their past impacts their future.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s phone rings in the middle of the night, with Savannah Woodham’s drawl on the other end, informing her of a kidnapping that’s taken place. She’d go herself, but believes wholeheartedly – and is frightened by — the ghost that’s taken up residence on Blackrock Island, Georgia, and doesn’t believe she’d be enough help.

Of course, this isn’t the whole truth, but we’ll get into that later.

Armed with both her detective skills and her inherent skepticism, Nancy sets off for Georgia to find the missing bride-to-be. Of course, when she gets there, she quickly discovers that the family — and family history — is even murkier and laced with tragedy than the presence of a ghost would suggest, and that, even with everyone searching for Jessalyn Thornton, she is nowhere to be found.

To find her, Nancy has to delve deep into the Thornton family lore, Jessalyn’s relationships with her family and friends – not to mention her preoccupied fiancé — and figure out what really did happen to dear, sweet Charlotte Thornton nearly two decades ago…

GTH, as a mystery, is chock-full of hints, clues, red herrings, and background facts that make figuring out the truth behind everything a joy and a delight — not to mention a task that will take more than one playthrough. GTH is also unique in that its mystery can end in more than one way, and that Nancy’s choices actually have more of an impact than just what souvenir she sends home to her erstwhile boyfriend. Choosing to save herself, to save just the “innocent” (for a certain value of innocence), or to save everyone leads to different endings not just for Nancy but for everyone involved with the Thornton Clan, from its matriarch all the way down to a certain spook-hunting ex-girlfriend.

Underpinning the mystery is this question: did Charlotte really come back as a ghost to haunt Blackrock and the Thorntons, or are her appearances just the result of sneaky relatives and atmospheric maleficence? Can all of the sightings be explained by a mixture of carbon monoxide poisoning, a few relatives playing dress-up, and huge amounts of suggestion and guilt? Is it the case, as Rentaro posited a few games earlier, that a ghost doesn’t have to be real to haunt you?

In a word, no. In a few more words, of course not.

Tying the whole of the ‘haunting’ mysteries together is this (previously mentioned) fact: Nancy is not remarkable for being a Skeptic, she is remarkable for being a Skeptic in a world where ghosts exist. The moving wood (and possibly the silhouette) in MHM, Camille’s ghost dancing along in TRN, the reflection of Kasumi in the water in SAW, the ghost of the Willow in GTH — these are all real, unexplainable-by-tech-or-imagination ghost sightings, and the fact that Nancy doesn’t believe in them doesn’t change their reality one bit.

In the house, you can cite carbon monoxide and Jessalyn/Harper running around in a costume for at least some of them — though not all. But the sightings outside — carbon monoxide does not stay in the system for very long in clear air, blessedly — of Charlotte? The consistency of the spectre? The apparition of her burning up at the site of her birthday party? These aren’t things that you can explain by costume theater — especially since these sightings have been happening for over a decade by people who haven’t stepped foot in Thornton Hall.

When they say that Blackrock belongs to Charlotte and has since the fire, it’s not a literary turn of phrase — Charlotte is there, and refuses to be forgotten. Nancy’s status as a Skeptic prevents her from hysteria, but it does not stop her from being haunted by the Ghost of Thornton Hall.

Now, let’s talk about the players — dead and alive — that make this mystery as complicated and dark as it is.

The Suspects:

Beginning with the matriarch of the Thorntons seems as good a place to start as any, so let’s talk about Clara Thornton. Cousin to Charlotte and Harper, Clara was taken in after her mother’s untimely death (but before her aunt and uncle’s equally untimely deaths) and became the equivalent of a sister in at least Charlotte and Harper’s eyes — though Clara herself was always unsettled and wary about her place in the family.

After the events of Charlotte’s tragic birthday (covered above), Clara visited Charlotte’s grave every night for a year, and was hospitalized after being pushed off of the widow’s walk (more on this later). Whether due to her upbringing or her Thornton blood – or, most likely, both — Clara is secretive, paranoid, wracked with guilt…and a loving mother and extremely capable businesswoman.

Though GTH doesn’t actually have a culprit —Jessalyn wasn’t kidnapped and Charlotte wasn’t murdered — Clara is, as the resident secret keeper and witness to Charlotte’s death, the closest thing that we’ve got. Clara’s sense of guilt is far beyond anything that she could have done, and is haunted so completely as to turn her rather cold.

I have a lot of sympathy for Clara, who made a mistake in a fit of anger (whether that’s pushing Charlotte or just not helping her when she started to burn) at the age of 21 and has been wracked with guilt and haunted by the spectre — real and imagined — of her ‘sister’ ever since (not to mention knowing that her other ‘sister’ blamed and hated her for it). Charlotte died before she had the time to make too many mistakes, but Clara had the entirety of the estate and the business — thousands of people’s livelihoods — thrust into her hand when she was a single mother of 21 years of age. Even had Clara been completely stable, it would have been a lot, and it’s no wonder that she rules the company with an iron fist.

I also want to point out that, due to Harper’s breakdown at the funeral and her afterwards, that even had Charlotte’s second will been found right then, Clara still would have inherited until at least Harper received her bill of mental health, as the closest heir to Charlotte of (legally) sound mind and body.

Let’s talk then about the other heir, Harper Thornton. A fan favorite for a myriad of reasons — her Helena-Bonham-Carter-esque design, her wonderful VA (props to Keri Healey, voice of Hotchkiss, Sally, Paula, Simone, and Madeline!) knocking her lines out of the park, and her dark sense of humor, Harper is, like most of the Thorntons, incredibly unstable, paranoid, violent…an affectionate aunt, and a pretty darn good detective in her own right.

Since GTH doesn’t have a ‘culprit’, Harper stands in her own guilty/not guilty paradigm along with Clara. She had nothing to do with Charlotte’s death personally, but was the one who caused assorted injuries and thousands of dollars in property damage at the funeral, and the one who pushed Clara off the widow’s walk and hospitalized her. Yes, Harper was young — 18 when Charlotte died, but pushing your cousin/sister off of a balcony is wrong at any age.

It’s worth noting that of the three Thornton ‘sisters’, one is guilty of some degree of manslaughter/criminal negligence, and the other of attempted murder. When Charlotte notes that she herself has a dose of the “Thornton paranoia”, she’s not just whistling Dixie.

The biggest problem the Thorntons have, honestly speaking, is that all of them are way too emotional and react without thinking. Clara confronting Charlotte, Charlotte not taking Clara aside to talk about the will, Harper’s injuring of others and blaming/pushing Clara, Wade destroying machinery, Jessalyn disappearing rather than talking things out…none of the Thorntons, past or present, have seemed to think with their brains since the woman who received the land on Blackrock Island after the Civil War in the first place.

In keeping with the theme, I want to talk about Charlotte Thornton next. A girl who inherited the Thornton land and business at way too young an age — I don’t even wanna know why Jackson hated his adult daughter Virginia (and yes, I know that there’s a supposition to this in the “Jackson Theory”, but it’s pure supposition) so much that he would stake the family future on a 20-year-old, no matter how much everyone liked her — after the death of her parents four years prior, Charlotte was the darling of the Thornton family.

Well-liked by everyone with a beautiful singing voice, Charlotte was nonetheless every inch a Thornton; she outright acknowledged her own paranoia, kept secrets and locked rooms closer to her than her family, and had a flair for the dramatic and emotional. After considering her cousin/sister Clara too unstable for the task of inheriting the family Business, Charlotte, rather than turning to her older aunt or naming multiple beneficiaries to ease the load, instead leaves 100% of it to her younger sister Harper.

I do want to point out the irony here in leaving the business to Harper over Clara on the grounds of mental stability. Whatever else Charlotte was good at, she was not a good judge of character, even giving leeway for her being 21.

After her death, Charlotte haunts the family home, unable to leave the place that was, for a year, hers to inherit. But why would ‘dear, sweet’ Charlotte haunt, frighten, and otherwise unsettle those around her — from family to neighbors to curious kids — especially to the extent that she does?

To answer that question, we need to talk about the family member that everyone says is incredibly close to Charlotte in personality — our missing bride, Jessalyn Thornton.

Clara’s daughter, Jessalyn is painted as being a sort of return of Charlotte; everyone loves her (all Thornton employees are combing the island looking for her, for heaven’s sake), everyone agrees on her, and she’s next in line to inherit the Thornton family business. She’s even around Charlotte’s age (24, rather than 21, but close enough) during the game, for heaven’s sake — the comparisons are not subtle, nor are they meant to be.

Since it’s more than halfway through the game that Nancy meets Jessalyn, the things that people say about her are the best clues to her personality that we have…right?

Everyone agrees that Jessalyn would never run off and make people worry like this, that even if she was scared or had second thoughts about the wedding or even just needed to be alone, that she would never do this to her family. And, as it turns out, everyone — her mother, her uncle, her best-friend-cum-fiancé — everyone is wrong. Jessalyn did exactly that — she ran off, made everyone worry, and didn’t think about her family, friends, fiancé, or employees one bit.

It also takes her no effort at all to fully believe a woman she’s never met that her mom is a vicious, cackling murderer just because her (single, incredibly busy) mother is a bit emotionally cold, so she’s also not a great judge of character.

And remember, we’re told over and over again — Jessalyn is just like Charlotte. Sure, Jessalyn is also our Nancy foil in this game — a young woman who needs to learn the truth about her mother, coerced/guided by a quasi-unreliable source, worrying her family by running off — and that’s important for Nancy’s character, but Jessalyn is first and foremost our Charlotte analogue. Jessalyn’s family and friends don’t understand who Jessalyn is…so I think it’s fair to say that Charlotte’s family and friends didn’t understand who Charlotte was, either.

We see Charlotte, through her writings and actions, could be thoughtless, was a poor judge of character, was secretive and paranoid — all things that no one even alludes to when speaking of her. Sure, there’s the idea of not speaking ill of the dead, but someone would have noted these things, even fondly or mildly.

So why would Charlotte haunt this place, haunt these people, when she was so good and kind and loved everyone? The simplest answer, the least convoluted explanation, is just that she wasn’t. That the Thorntons didn’t understand Charlotte, as much as they loved her, just like they didn’t understand Jessalyn.

Speaking of Thorntons who may be misunderstood, we’ll focus on Wade Thornton next. A little more rough-and-tumble and a little less refined than his relatives seem to be, Wade is introspective, superstitious, hard-working, and a bit gloomy…along with having some anger issues, vast amounts of distrust, and a bit of egotism.

Wade’s (at least legally) guilty of a few things in the past, but since he won’t even go into Thornton Hall, he’s a pretty easy cross-off of our list of suspects. Wade’s there to give Nancy information on the Thornton Clan, to provide the explanation as for (partially) why Savannah isn’t there herself, and to show another facet of the Thorntons — their anger.

Whether or not you agree with Wade’s actions that led to Clara pressing charges — though I think everyone can agree it’s pretty stupid to destroy your own family’s machinery, especially when the only danger to the employees was caused by him scaring them half to death — and it highlights that Wade, philosophical though he is, is just as much a Thornton as those he despises. He even calls himself out on it – that while he used to think he was on the side of “Good Thorntons”, he’s not so sure anymore.

The best (serious) line in the game does come from Wade — I will be in love with his description of dating Savannah as “[falling] for her like a Black Tuesday banker” until I die. It’s a perfect metaphor without sounding pretentious, and shows just how bleak his own worldview really is.

Next is The Fiancé, Colton Birchfield, who has the most hilariously WASP-y name to ever come out of a Nancy Drew game. A man who’s struggled with depression and anxiety all his life, Colton was born to two politicians and has lived in the spotlight — and his marriage to Jessalyn is getting just as show-stopper-y as a campaign trail before she disappeared.

I mentioned above that the resolution to Colton and Jessalyn’s relationship is the healthy, sane version of what should have happened in CUR and HAU, and I stand by that. While I don’t necessarily like him going back to Lexi after the game is over — a relationship interrupted by one party being paid off is not the healthy, loving, loyal relationship that Colton needs — it’s clear that he and Jessalyn would have made each other content, but never fulfilled romantically.

Colton’s guilty of nothing more than not being in love with his best friend, and he’s a refreshing breath of air as someone related tangentially to, but not cast down by, the Thornton family drama. He may get less sympathy than our other cast members, but he’s no less deserving of it, and I’m really rooting for him to find someone that will give him the same amount of love and loyalty that he’ll give them.

We’ll journey outside the Thornton family and their (almost) relations for our next ‘suspect’. Addison Hammond, Jessalyn’s friend and bridesmaid, makes a cameo phone appearance here to tell us that Thornton Hall is Totes Spooky, and that Jessalyn vanished not once, but twice in the night.

I quite enjoy Addison, not because she plays a big part or because she’s an exceptional character — she’s as bare-bones as we get in the later games (ignoring MED/SEA/MID), honestly — but because she’s simply a girl in her 20s reacting the way that most of us would if our unnecessarily spooky friend dragged us to an old haunted house and then vanished twice. Good for you, girl.

Coming in for a wonderful appearance is Savannah Woodham, ex-ghost hunter, ex-girlfriend of Wade Thornton, and the detective who was supposed to be on the case. Savannah’s too scared of the Ghost (and too reticent to talk to Wade face-to-face) to risk stepping foot on Blackrock Island herself, but she’s more than willing to send the biggest skeptic she knows, hoping that Nancy’s skepticism will keep her safe.

As lovely as Savannah is in SAW — and I adore her in that game — she really shines in GTH. Probably the biggest moment she gets in the game — and probably my second favorite moment in the game period — is her tale of tracing the shape of the old willow tree on her wall, only to have a body discovered under that exact willow tree after a storm. It’s a delightfully creepy — and most importantly, completely inexplicable by any means other than accepting that the supernatural exists — moment, and I think it’s key to understanding Savannah as a character in GTH.

Savannah suffers under the weight of knowing that there truly are Things that Go Bump in the Night, that can’t be arrested or captured or gotten rid of by normal, legal means. Her background knowledge of the Thorntons helps Nancy to get an initial feel for the family, and it helps to not have an ex-girlfriend wandering around that the Thorntons might have a grudge against or dislike for.

She is, in effect, the mirror image of Nancy — what Nancy might have become without her inborn skepticism — and that alone, even ignoring everything else about her, is fascinating to me.

Our other phone contacts are Ned Nickerson and Bess Marvin, teamed up due to George’s absence while doing an internship (at Technology of Tomorrow Today, no less!) and Bess’ extreme boredom without anyone else to hang out with.

The lovely thing about Ned and Bess is that we get to see Ned when he’s not Solo Boyfriend Ned, but a college guy hanging out with his friend. Their light-hearted banter is hilarious and comfortable (Bess dramatically asking permission to do a spit-take in his living room is of particular note), and we really get to see a different side of Nancy’s oft-abandoned boyfriend.

You can tell that their voice actors are having a terrific time as well (Scott Carty’s pitch-perfect imitation of Jennifer Pratt’s cadence and tone makes me laugh every time), and it really helps bring a bright and colorful spot to this otherwise rather tense and grim mystery.

We’ll round out our character list with the quasi-amateur, quasi-professional detective herself, Nancy Drew. Through her foil with Jessalyn — discussed above, so I won’t get too into it here — we get to see Nancy in a slightly different light, and get to look at the effect that she has on those around her when she disappears.

We know Carson and Ned (and occasionally Bess/George, and even more occasionally, Hannah) worry about Nancy while she’s off on a case, but this is the first time Nancy herself is dealing with what she leaves behind every time she jets off to Venice, or gets trapped in a lava tube, or lost in a rock maze. Nancy hasn’t investigated a straight-up kidnapping (or what appears to be one) since Maya in FIN (no, I’m not counting HAU, as it’s not played as a kidnapping nor does anyone think it is until 2/3 of the way through the game), and she has the same sense of urgency here that she did back then.

Upon replaying the game, the player will lose that sense of urgency for Jessalyn — we know she’s alive and well, and was never kidnapped — but Nancy’s reactions to the family are what stay interesting. She’s concerned for Jessalyn, but does most of her detective work through getting a sense of what the rest of the family thinks of the missing girl.

Given Nancy’s reputation as a good girl, a solid presence (if an occasional one) who loves her family and friends, and who is always responsible, it’s easy to see why she misses the one question that would have helped her solve the case in half of the time: what if Jessalyn isn’t missing? After all, Jessalyn, like Nancy, would never jet off after hearing an unsubstantiated claim about her mother without telling anyone or pausing to confirm it through a different, more trustworthy source, right?

In this game, we discover a huge characteristic about Nancy: she is reckless. Now, we know this already from other games — that Nancy is reckless physically, confronting bad guys alone, diving down into murky catacombs, jumping from pillars in ancient tombs — but here we see that she’s also reckless emotionally. Even though it interferes with her investigation, Nancy gets personally involved in this case; she’s mad at Colton for “cheating” on Jessalyn, she’s upset by the tragedy of Charlotte’s death, and she’s concerned for Jessalyn’s safety in a different way than she usually is with a victim or suspect.

Nancy’s always been willing to take huge risks, but she always stays emotionally on the surface level of a case — a good and necessary trait for a detective, and one that allows her to face down killers, saboteurs, and forgers without blinking. Here, Nancy’s dragged down into the web of the Thorntons, and — as we see in the middle and bad endings especially — she doesn’t quite recover from it. Nancy loses a bit of objectivity here, but what she gains is humanity — and she’ll need that for the last two games in this meta series.

The Favorite:

With such a well-executed game — even though it doesn’t fall in my personal top 5 ranking — there’s going to be a lot to love, so let’s get down to it.

My favorite puzzle is probably Nancy’s trek to ‘discover’ the ‘ghost’ — aka completing Harper’s tasks in order to meet her, culminating with reciting Charlotte’s rhyme while blindfolded. It’s a different kind of puzzle than the type we get commonly with Nancy Drew games, and really helped spark and keep the tension needed to maintain such a spooky game.

My favorite moment in the game is a quieter one — it’s Nancy’s remarks on Charlotte’s room. She’s taken aback at how, after a game of everyone talking about Charlotte, that it’s opening the door to her room that cements Charlotte as a living, breathing person. She continues that she can’t let that feeling distract her, that she needs to treat the room like the rest of the house and gather tools that will let her find Jessalyn, but it’s lovely to see the effect of the Thornton’s history really settle into Nancy’s bones as Charlotte Thornton turns from a scary rhyme that children chant to a girl who lived and died in the same walls that Nancy’s exploring.

There are, of course, other things that I love — the objectively creepy poem (“we’ll let you share with Charlotte/a gown of coal and glowing flame” is an incredible line), Savannah’s story about the willow tree, the small Francy crumbs of Frank being sullen after his Very Revealing voicemail in DED and considering an MBA, the multi-layered relationship that Wade and Savannah have, the gorgeous detail of Thornton Hall — and all of these add up to a game that’s frankly just enjoyable to play.

The big thing to mention in this game, as I talked a bit about in the intro, is its atmosphere.

Throughout the entire game, there’s this palpable feeling of death and grief and loss and pure pain, and those emotions are what GTH relies on to keep itself Scary, not the few spectre scares and swinging scythes that it also has to offer.

I don’t normally quote things other than the games/words of the cast and crew in these metas, but I do make exceptions when the quotation is this good, so I tip my hat here to Tumblr user aniceworld, speaking about ranking GTH their top Nancy Drew game of all time:

“The reason GTH is so successful as a scary game is because there’s such a pervasive sense of sorrow at Thornton Hall. People have died here who shouldn’t have. A family has been destroyed. The house has seen so much trauma it can literally no longer stand on its own. There are ghosts that live here, whether you can see them or not.”

This horror is far better than bloody slashers or obnoxious “continuous mysterious accidents”-style thrillers that tend to permeate the genre; instead of random death-by-umbrella or scary-guy-in-the-shower incidents driving the plot, the emotion behind death and loss and betrayal gets to take a turn at the wheel, and the game is much better for it.

The Un-Favorite:

As with any game, however, no matter how good the atmosphere, there are some things that I don’t love.

I’m not actually the biggest fan of Harper; while her design is great and her VA does a spectacular job, she’s a little cartoonish among a cast that endeavors to stay as far away from broad stereotypes as possible.

It’s fine to have a large personality, it’s fine that she’s a bit cracked, it’s great that she has her own reasons and motivations beyond “expose the truth” (especially since she’s not interested in exposing the truth, just in proving that Clara’s a murderer) — she’s just really not my cup of tea, and I prefer Harper as the Anonymous Note Leaver to Harper the Conversational Partner.

Even if she does get some of the best lines in the game.

I don’t really have a least favorite moment or puzzle that sticks out to me; there are puzzles I struggle more or less with, but none of them are immersion-breaking or so frustrating that I have to get up and walk away. The ones I love, I enjoy solving; the ones I don’t love, I turn to the walkthrough and finish them up to get on with the story.

The Fix:

So how would I fix Ghost of Thornton Hall?

Even given my small problems with Harper, I’m not sure I’d change her. Sure, she’s a bit Broad for the game, generally speaking, but she’s also another example of what loss can do to a person — it can make you cold and withdrawn, it can make you righteously angry and dismissive…or it can turn you malicious and violent. She’s an important presence regardless of my personal taste, and while I might tweak a line of dialogue or two, it’s important to note that her Persona is just another thing for Nancy to discover and re-discover as she investigates the Thorntons.

While not a perfect game — very few, if any, of the Nancy Drew games qualify for that title — Ghost of Thornton Hall is an excellent entry in the Nancy Drew series as a whole, and in the smaller series of Nancy-centric games. Through it, we get to see what happens to those who are left behind after a tragic, sudden, and even violent loss — and that becomes more and more important as we leave behind the gloomy Georgia island and leap across the pond to Glasgow.

#nancy drew #nancy drew games #clue crew #ghost of thornton hall #nancy drew meta #GTH #my meta #long post #video games

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a-duck-with-a-book · 4 years ago

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REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

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tanyawritesstories · 4 years ago

Text

Indecent Distraction | Commander Cody x Reader

A Cody piece all about riling up the stoic Creamsicle and teasing him till he breaks. 😉 Enjoy! @kote-ko for your consideration.

Word count: 2,943

Warnings: NSFW, smut, teasing, oral (m & f receiving, overstimulation, spanking, unprotected sex, Cody is a satisfying dom

•••

You had lost track of how long you'd been sitting in this restaurant. Just waiting for him to show up. It was unlike Cody to be late and he almost never forgot anything. You held out hope and waited longer. Something had probably come up and he hadn't any time to tell you that he would miss dinner. It had been two whole hours and you'd downed three glasses of wine in that time, currently working on your fourth.

A waitressing droid stopped by your table again. "I think you might've been stood up, honey," It hummed. "Probably," you sighed, "Oh well. Can I get my food to go plus an extra order of the same thing." The droid delivered your food to you in boxes and you chugged the rest of your wine before paying and getting a speeder back to your apartment.

You got home and set about reheating the food. While that was going, you walked to the office. Yep, sure enough, there he was. Your boyfriend was sitting at your desk in only his blacks, on your computer, he also had two datapads out with reports and military nonsense on their screens. He was clearly deep in his work, so much so that he didn't even notice you walk in.

“Really?” He looked up long enough to take in your appearance and then went back to his work. “What is it?” He asked, not looking up. “I waited for you at the restaurant for two and a half hours!” You complained. Cody looked at you, regret and sorrow written all over his face. “Oh cyare, I’m so sorry. I got overloaded with work at the last minute and was going to comm you and tell you I couldn’t make it but I got caught up and forgot.” You raised an eyebrow at him, you hoped you looked pissed off because you were. Cody went back to his work which made you even more annoyed. “That’s all you have to say?” You jabbed. “You look nice,” he said, still not looking up.

You threw your hands up and let them fall at your sides. “Whatever, I brought dinner home, I’ll bring it to you.” He said nothing in response and you rolled your eyes as you walked to the bedroom. You changed into a comfy tank top and shorts and went to get the food. You made sure it was hot and added everything you knew he liked onto a plate and took a glass of wine with you.

Sure you were annoyed that he forgot about your date, but he was your boyfriend and you loved him. He was also a very high ranking soldier in the galaxy's best army, he had a lot of people counting on him and that meant he was always busy. You understood, you knew the risk when you two had agreed to be together. You just wished he would take a short break every now and then.

“I brought you dinner, love.” You set the plate and glass down on his desk, picking up one of the datapads and putting the plate in its place. “Thank you, cyar’ika,” Cody stopped his work to kiss you on the cheek before diving right back into the computer. You sighed and leaned on the edge of the desk, swiping through the reports and details on the datapad you had snatched. “(Y/n), what are you doing?” You ignored his question for a moment. “Would you mind if I smashed this?”

Cody’s eyes went wide and the expression on his face was a mixture of shock and horror. You giggled, “I’m joking, eat your food.” You crossed the room and slumped into one of the chairs, still messing with the datapad. You could see your boyfriend glaring at you through the transparent screen. You lowered the device and met his glare with a lighthearted smile.

“You had better not mess up anything on there, for your sake and mine,” he said. “Just eat your food and then I’ll give it back,” you laughed. Perhaps it was a little mean but it got Cody to stop his work and finally eat.

“Thank you again, (Y/n). It was delicious.” You got up from your chair and walked to the other side of the desk, datapad in hand. Cody held out a hand, “May I have that back now?” You held the device against your stomach shielding it from him. “(Y/n), you promised you’d give it back,” He was trying to persuade you and you weren’t going to be mean. “Don’t make me take it from you the hard way,” a suggestive smirk forming on his lips.

“I wish you would,” you admitted, handing him the piece of technology, “We haven’t been together in months.” You walked over to stand behind him in the swivel chair he was sitting in. “We don’t have time for that right now,” he said, scrolling through a datapad and clicking away at the computer.

You sighed. You put your hands on his shoulders and began to massage them. “But I’m sexually frustrated,” you whined. “I know, as am I, but duty comes first,” Cody added. “Can’t you just take a little break, baby?” You ran your hands down his chest, feeling his muscles under his shirt. Cody caught your wandering hands before they reached their destination, “Maybe later, when I’m done with this.” You held back the groan of frustration and retracted your hands. You did your best not to stomp out of the room as you went to go eat dinner by yourself.

You checked up on Cody 30 minutes later, he was still hard at work. You had removed your shorts and bra and was now wearing only a thong and a mostly see through tank top. You hoped to the maker it would get his attention, you wanted him so badly. He had been gone for two months, only sending you short messages and notes whenever he found the time. Two whole months withholding your desires and how the object of your dirty dreams was sitting across the room, oblivious.

You walked in and set about dusting the shelves and cleaning the viewports. You hadn’t cleaned them in forever and this was the perfect excuse. As you dusted off one of the bookshelves you felt Cody’s eyes running up and down your body, settling on your ass which was on full display for him. You made sure to dust the bottom shelves, bending over when you knew he was looking. It was his turn to say: “Really?”

You looked over your shoulder at him, “What, I’m just cleaning.” He gave you a suspicious look. “This room hasn’t been done in forever, I don’t have the motivation to do much of anything while you’re gone.” You heard him huff in disbelief, or annoyance, you couldn’t really tell. “And you had to come in here dressed like that to clean, hmm?” You moved to one of the viewports, wiping it down with a cloth. “It’s not my fault I have nothing else to do.”

When you were done cleaning you put your supplies away and returned to the office, deciding to do some reading. You grabbed a book and sat down in a comfy lounge chair. You would read a few paragraphs and then look up at Cody, then go back to your book. He had apparently not noticed that you came in again. You were determined to get him to take a break from his work, or fuck you, either one would be nice. You set the book in your lap and whisked off your tank top, leaving your breasts exposed to the warm air. You balled up the tank top and threw it at Cody, picking your book back up and looking innocent and normal as ever. The shirt had landed directly on top of the datapad Cody was looking at. He sighed and looked up at you.

"(Y/n)?”

You lowered the book, bringing your body into his view. “Yes, dear?” You looked innocent and kept a straight face. You saw the seriousness in his expression fall as he took in your topless form. It only lasted a few seconds and he was back to Commander mode. He held up the shirt for you to see, “Care to explain what you’re getting at?” You shrugged, “I’m allowed to walk around topless in my own apartment,” you said, “Just ignore me, go back to your work.” He glared at you as you continued reading. He knew what game you were playing and if you continued he didn’t think he could hold back for much longer.

You finished the chapter of your book and gently closed it. You had been keeping an eye on your Commander, hence why it took you half an hour to read one chapter. He was doing surprisingly well staying focused on his work, only glancing at you from time to time. You slowly and quietly got up to put your book away. You slid it back into its place on the shelf, on the wall in front of the desk. You looked at Cody, balls deep in his work instead of you.

You got an idea and quietly dropped to your hands and knees in front of the desk. You crawled to sit underneath it, right in front of your boyfriend’s parted legs. Damn his blacks for getting in the way! Luckily, they were stretchy and easy to remove. You didn’t want him to catch you. You quickly slipped off your thong and set it next to you, careful not to hit your head. You got on your knees and in one swift movement shoved your hand into his blacks and brought his cock out, he was semi hard and warm in your hand. You felt his body jolt and tense up and you brought your mouth to his base and licked. Cody rolled the chair away from the desk just enough so he could see you. Your mouth was torn away from him but your hand stayed on his cock.

“Now what do you think you’re doing?” He wasn’t angry but was definitely pissed. “If you’re not willing to give me anything can I at least have this while you work,” You snapped, moving the hand that was on his dick to get your point across. Cody bit his lip and sighed, “Fine, but be subtle and don’t distract me too much.”

He graciously pulled his blacks down to his knees to allow you better access. “Thank you, dear,” You chirped. Cody rolled the chair back under the desk and you got to work. Stroking him until he was fully hard. You would honor his request for now, it would go out the window soon. You kissed from the base up to his tip and circled it with your tongue, planting a kiss at the very end.

“What did I say about being subtle!” He growled from above you. “Sorry,” you replied.

You put your mouth around him completely and bobbed your head on his length, going slow and doing nothing extreme. You licked his slit for a second and tasted the salty precum that was seeping from him. You engulfed him again and pumped what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You wanted to make sure he didn’t expect anything more from you before you took action. You could hear his breathing speeding up. You took him to the back of your throat for a second and made sure to coat his cock in as much saliva as you could. You were ready. You pumped him a few more times before taking his cock into your throat, shoving yourself down so your nose touched his abdomen. You heard him moan above you, he made such a pretty sound.

Cody had had it with you, now you were going to pay for distracting him. He slammed his fist on the desk and rolled the chair away, you moved with him and was able to keep his tip in your mouth. You looked up and made eye contact with him. He looked mad, real mad. The sight of you naked on your knees with his cock in your mouth looking up at him with innocent eyes just deepened his lust.

“Alright, that’s it. Get up,” He growled. You let him slip out of your mouth and scrambled to your feet. Cody stood up, grabbed your arm, spun you around, and bent you over the desk. He pressed himself into your back and you could feel his hard length against your thigh.

"You just had to distract me, didn't you?" Cody growled in your ear, shivers going down your back. "I told you to wait till I was finished with my work, and I was almost done," Cody spanked your ass and you whimpered, the sting only adding to your arousal. "You couldn't have waited 15 minutes could you?" Another spank. "No, you had to vie for my attention while I was busy," he spanked you again. "You've been naughty, (Y/n). And you know what happens to naughty girls don't you?" You nodded. "Say it," he snarled. "Naughty girls get punished," you answered, "Cody, please touch me, please!"

"It's Commander to you, sweetheart. Hold onto the desk and don't move," he ordered. "Yes, Commander," you breathed.

Cody got off of you and pulled off the top of his blacks before kneeling behind you, he spread your legs and attached his mouth to your pussy. You moaned out and tried not to move as Cody licked over your hole. He prodded your entrance with his tongue before changing and sliding it over your clit. You held onto the desk for dear life. His tongue felt like paradise as it massaged your folds, so warm and wet. You squeaked when he sucked on your clit and you couldn't help but grind your hips on his face. Cody immediately removed his mouth and spanked you hard.

"I said no moving!" You whined out a sorry and Cody went back to work. His tongue pushed into you and he wiggled it around to taste every delicious inch he could find. He added his fingers into the mix, finding your clit and rubbing circles on it. You were in bliss, the sensations he was causing going through your entire body. "Oh, Commander, I'm getting close," you voiced. Cody hummed against you at hearing his rank fall from your lips. He could feel the precum seeping out and running down his dick. He switched his mouth and his fingers, plunging two of them into you up to his knuckles. You squealed, "I'm going to cum, Commander. Can I cum, please?"

"Cum for me, darling," he ordered, at the same time attaching his mouth to your clit and sucking hard. Your mouth opened in a silent scream and you grabbed the desk so hard your knuckles turned white. Pure ecstasy flooded your whole being.

Cody licked up your juices and got to his feet, he needed you, badly. He was so pent up he knew he wouldn’t last long. He pumped himself a few times, coating his cock in your juices from his fingers. He lined himself up and thrusted all the way inside you. "Cody!" You yelled, "I'm, I'm sensitive still.."

"That's the point," he grunted, "Kriff, you feel so good, so nice and tight."

He picked up his pace right away, not giving you any time to recover from your orgasm. Your cunt was aching from overstimulation but the pain was quickly turned into pleasure. You lifted yourself onto your elbows and began to move back against him. Your moans were loud and frequent as Cody pounded into you, his hands on your hips keeping you still. Your moans were music to his ears and encouraged him to hold off his orgasm that was rapidly approaching. He groaned from behind you and laid himself over your back, your sweaty bodies sticking together. He put one hand on the desk and with the other reached around and fondled your breast. Your mind felt hazy and the only thing you could focus on was the pleasure at your core and his mouth that had started sucking and biting on your neck.

"I'm gonna cum soon," Cody groaned. He hammered into you as fast as he could, your hips repeatedly banging into the edge of the desk. You would undoubtedly have bruises there later. The knot in your stomach was getting ready to snap and you could tell Cody was seconds away. He hit that spot inside you at just the right angle and you were gone, shouting his name as you came undone around him. You clamped down on him and Cody thrust into you as far as he could go, moaning loud and releasing his cum all over the walls of your slick heat. You collapsed on top of the desk and Cody on top of you, panting trying to regain your breath.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Absolutely not, that was amazing,” you turned your head and kissed him on the cheek. “We should get cleaned up.” Cody cleaned you up as well as himself and put his blacks back on while you put on some comfy sleep clothes. “I suppose you should finish your work now,” you suggested. “There’s not that much left, I can do it in the morning,” Cody enveloped you in a hug, “Right now I want to relax and watch a holovid with you.” You squealed in excitement and beamed up at your boyfriend.

#star wars the clone wars #commander cody x reader #commander cody

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sinkix · 4 years ago

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《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library.

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off.

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating???

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

#hq #haikyuu #nekoma #yaku morisuke #lev haiba #yamamoto taketora #kuroo testuro #kenma kozume #inuoka sou

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