#this is my first time actually posting one of my zines here and i think i like this format???

[jjuicejunior]

i had a busy weekend so i made a zine about it :] pog!

[thebandghostofficial]

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

An important (and overwinded) announcement regarding this blog below the cut.

Hello everyone! This is Rawkin Ghoul/ Tumblr Ghoul/ Tumblrina/ Soda/ etc etc.

First thing’s first: no, this blog is not an official Ghost social media account.

I started this blog in late 2022 when ghost-official started blowing up (I do not believe this one to be real either, and honestly I won’t believe they have a Tumblr until it is linked on their official website) and thought, “wow, I could make a better Ghost blog than that. One that’s way better organized and actually advertises properly for them, and posts regularly!” So I did.

Originally it was meant as just that, a little joke between some friends, and wasn’t meant to really get farther than that. But then I thought, Ghost does have a lot of fans on Tumblr- a lot of exquisitely talented and devoted fans. Maybe I can kinda “roleplay” it for a while, build almost a bit of a portfolio, and then either offer the blog to management or offer to run it for them officially, for fun, if they were interested.

More time passes and more people followed. I thought “xofficial” as a username was a common enough joke/ gimmick that people would realize it wasn’t for real (and in fact, when I first searched the URL, I found that this username was once in use years ago! Sorry, previous owner), especially after posting that April Fools joke post- this was wrong of me to assume. There are a lot of roleplay/ joke “official” Ghost accounts all over the web but I failed to really properly disclaim that I was one of them.

I of course don’t plan to reach out to Ghost anymore and haven’t for some time, for multiple reasons including Tumblr just not being a good website for advertising. But another one is I got pretty loose on here. Tumblr is so different from Twitter and Insta and all that- you guys (and myself! I go here too) don’t want to have someone sell something to you- but you do love interaction and jokes and solving things together.

I think we can all admit it- when Ghost is dormant, the fans can get bored and even agitated, and can start to have a go at eachother. I’m certainly not guiltless there either. I wouldn’t say I’m notorious or even particularly well known in general but I’ve gotten into drama here and there. I figured the blog would be a fun way not just to distract the community, but really engage with it. The blog passed 5k a month or so ago and I started thinking, we could do something really cool with it. Smaller events like fanart contests and zines. But what if we did more? Organizing pre-ritual meetups. Larger community projects like fan-made music videos. ARG. Maybe even a short video game- there are so many incredibly skilled and hard-working Ghost fans and I wanted to try to bring them together because I think our love for Ghost, for whatever reason we love them, screams so loud and everyone deserves recognition (also a reason I started Fanart Friday as a regular thing).

You guys know I do my best to keep up with your tagging and what you’re saying and everything and I’ve seen the people pointing out the blog isn’t real from the beginning- I didn’t want to address it directly at first because I thought if nothing else people enjoyed the mystery.

But, more lately there’s been more and more people who are agitated, disappointed, and even a little scared to hear that this blog is not official.

I want to offer my very sincere apologies to people who I made feel that way. I should have made it obvious sooner- I know so well that there are a lot of very young Ghost fans especially who wouldn’t necessarily surmise that this isn’t real. I’m really sorry to those of you I disappointed.

I will never ask you for money here, or any personal information, or send asks anonymous or otherwise from here or my main personal blog as “Tumblr Ghoul”. I have had one person ask to message me so I messaged them to allow them to do that. If somebody contacts you claiming to be the person running this blog, they are lying. Please block them. My interactions here I aim to keep as public as possible, hence being increasingly liberal with replies and reblogs as the number of people interacting grew.

My only goal with this blog is to advertise for a band that I love and to entertain/ help the fandom when and where I can. I love and appreciate all the fanart and interest in the character of Tumblr Ghoul but I don’t want anybody to feel obligated to me and I especially don’t want to hurt anybody. I started this blog for fun and that how I want it to remain- fun for everyone.

People pointed out when I didn’t post for some time a few months back and it was because I had lost interest in the blog and was going through a rough time- and then one particularly bad day I got on to check it by chance and just seeing your guy’s tags and comments made me feel so much better. I tell people that I found Ghost when I really needed a friend and they fulfilled that for me, but the past few months you guys have done just the same for me. I am so sorry to have betrayed that and made you feel unsafe and lied to in return.

As of posting I do intend to still run the blog as I have been (with a disclaimer added to the bio regarding the legitimacy of this account)- posting about tours, chapters, merch, etc, as well as Fanart Friday. I 100% understand if anybody doesn’t want to be involved in that, so anybody who has tagged me in something and don’t want it on the blog now, I can open messages and you can let me know. I will probably close them again after a week or so if I get a large flood of unrelated messages.

Please do not message me asking me who I am, who knows about the blog, etc. Gaining popularity was never something I wanted from this so I will stay anonymous, for the time being at the very least. A very small number of people know who is behind the blog and to my knowledge only one of them is even on Tumblr and in the fandom.

Thank you for all the support you’ve shown me, Ghost, and eachother. It can be easy to see the bad parts of a community and roll your eyes electing to keep your distance, but since starting this blog I’ve been reminded what good community is even when it’s frustrating sometimes.

Thank you for reading, I won’t hold it against anybody who wants to separate themselves from this blog at this point, and please don’t let my oversight and general dummyness sour your experience with Ghost or its other fans. Enjoy the rest of this tour and whether it’s with or without me, please keep rawking 🤘 Be good to eachother.

Thank you.

[antariies]

how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P

[lidatan]

It's already 2024, and I think now I'm free to post my comic submission from Aruani Anthology.

But, instead of posting the full version, I'll just drop some of my favorite panels here (hehe sorry 🥲)...

🧡💛 They're holding hands 🥰🧡💛

🧡💛 They're eating ice cream 🍦🥰 (And this one is CANON!!) 🧡💛

🧡💛 The first time they watched a movie together in a theater (?) 🥹🥹🧡💛

🧡💛 Going on a date to the carnival and riding the Merry go Round 🥹🥹🧡💛

🧡💛 Looking at your life partner with affectionate eyes (while looking at the starry sky) 🥹🥹🧡💛

🧡💛 I'm a bit confused giving a description for this part (lmao sorry 😭😭) but I really love drawing this scene so much (this one when Armin doubts himself because he doesn't have much time for Annie and Annie tries to convince him that it's not true) 🧡💛

🧡💛 they're promised that when everything was over (you know about ambassadors and other stuffs) they would explore the world together (this is actually a bit cringe, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭😭)

And accidentally (or just think so lmao) my short comic in Aruani Zine is kind of a continuation from this one🧡💛

And that's it!

Maybe next year I'll drop my submission of some of my favorite comic panels from Aruani Zine.

[meruz]

Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!

More gushing abt the weekend under the cut

I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....

Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.

I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I posted my art from a zine early?

I (23nb) joined a zine for a semi obscure 2000s manga/anime as a page artist with two of my friends. I enjoy this media but I don't really consider myself in the fandom, I only joined because one of my aforementioned friends is a huge fan of it and the other friend is also a casual enjoyer and we thought it would be fun if we all did a zine together.

However.

Most zines have a timeline of around 9-10 months from beginning to publishing but this one's been in production for almost 2 years. I've been in a few zines and this one has the worst organization I've ever seen in any project. The timeline on the discord only covered the first 5 months and had no estimate for how long the production would be, but a year and a half for publishing is pretty unheard of. The only check-in for progress that I remember didn't even require sending in your piece, you just had to say if you were finished or not and only a handful of the 30ish people on the discord responded lmao. Both of my friends ghosted at this point and the Singular mod (there might be two mods. I can't really tell) didn't dm them to see if they still wanted to participate or anything. Since there is only one person doing everything me and a few others have asked if they need any help and every time the mod(s) say that they're fine. every month or two someone will ask how the production is going and the mod will answer, and then another month goes by and the cycle repeats. I think the zine has finally gone into its “preorder interest check” stage (so not the actual preorder) but judging by how long everything takes i estimate that it'll be another 2 months at least before it actually goes into preorder. Its also never been clear if this is a free zine or if the sales will be donated to charity or distributed among the contributors. Since there's Allegedly going to be a physical copy it's gotta at least use the sales money to pay for production and shipping costs, but I have no idea if I'll be compensated with a physical copy or any money, especially if I do the thing that I might be TA for.

So here's my actual question. WIBTA if I posted the art I made for the zine before the mod says it's ok to do so? A big part of zine etiquette is that you do not post the final piece until the zine is finished, and the repercussions for someone who does range from a mod dming them to take it down or being kicked out of the zine entirely or in the absolute worst case, called out and blacklisted in the fandom and zine circles (I don't think anything that serious will happen to me but I have anxiety so I'm always imagining the worst thing) Most of the people on Tumblr in this fandom are kind of annoying fandom mom millennial types so I don't really want to deal with any possible backlash from them lol. If I just posted my art on Instagram idk if any of them would see it, but they Definitely would if I posted on Tumblr since the zine originated on there and it's such a small tag. I'm also so frustrated with the experience I kind of want to write something cunty in the description about how it's a zine piece for a zine that probably will never come out but I know that's just being petty and would probably invite drama. Also since I drew this thing a year and a half ago it's a little busted looking so I might redraw parts of it, so posting it would still be kinda shitty but it would technically be a different piece from the original one I submitted to the zine.

What are these acronyms?

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i only shared it w a friend before but can i tell you all my death mark 2 au/rewrite... here (spoilers obvi, also body horror + insects warning)

(edited so theres more details smile)

most things r the same except for the departed (and no naked girl cgs OFCOURSE)

making it so that the departed pretends to be daimon instead of the two high school girls

normal daimon is around but he’ll gradually get sick n every now n then something weeeeird happens (as in yashiki accidentally talks to fake daimon. also maybe you see the weird bug ghost that hovers above everyone near endgame with him first)

crowbar scene happens w fake daimon while real daimon is actually passed out somewhere. mashita comforts yashiki n then they both realize its a fake

(that's what these doodles were referencing)

my dearest friend chip suggested the departed could also be konoe so n that would make sense n make him more present in the plot so byeah

we both agreed that they didn't push the bug + mold horror theme far enough so i tried my hand at it. mold can be really gross irl ewwww

my design for departed daimon is actually toned down from the og tho, just bc i thought the weird spider face was more goofy than scary. personally bugs are scary to me when they're crawling on you n burrowing into your skin n making holes n laying eggs in there - like the bees in death mark 1. there was some real-stories tv show abt that specific thing happening that aired when i was a kid n it freaked me out a lot

why was hime's mold just ourple swirls boooriiiiiiiiiiiing

/

edit july 15th 2024 adding this into the main og post since wonderful chippard linked it (basically a neater rewrite of everything i just said + what i said in the reblog addition. i rewrote it for a solo zine hence the proper capitalization lol)

Instead of Himeko and Michiho being The Departed, it’s Daimon and Konoe. Normal Daimon is still there but every now and then he’ll start acting strange or feeling sick due to The Departed’s possession. The “love” aspect would be shown through Daimon specifically too so Doctor Duo ship is canon in this. Konoe basically uses Daimon to try to get to his Dear Husband. In place of going into a coma like in the original, his behavior intensifies and condition worsens until he suddenly runs to the bathroom. When he comes back… dun dun dun… that’s The Departed – Yashiki doesn’t know…! Crowbar scene ensues. But!? After Yashiki tells Mashita, they see Daimon perfectly alive in the infirmary. Yasuoka found him collapsed in the hallway at some point.

The plot would play out basically the same with some changes (no fanservice girl cgs; more Konoe screen-time; Michiho + Himeko act differently; Saki or Abe partner? more school-related ghosts...).

Maybe the game could be longer to give the new characters more time to shine while not removing the returning ones. Not sure how that would work exactly… One possible solution would be to have day segments where we get to play as Yashiki while he's actively teaching (which would also address the "why'd they even pick a school setting" problem bc damn they barely did any school specific plot shit outside of Hanako & Kashima). Would be awesome and in-line with how the first game brought up war if they kept addressing problems with the education system. Also I think I wouldn’t have any unavoidable human casualties after Hanako’s chapter? All the unavoidable deaths made my friends confused about if they were doing something wrong or not and it honestly felt off to me too. It would be compelling if after failing to protect the first student(s), Yashiki actually successfully protects the rest of them in the good route. Making him feel like he’s become more steadfast after the first game and staying true to his word. Especially if Naomi survives in my opinion - ‘she almost dies but is spared if you make the right choices’ or something like that. She could even be in the room when Yashiki sings the school song.

Not sure how I'd make The Departed feel even more connected to the school... Maybe there's a romantic superstition popular among the students that's based off their "wedding ceremony" -- but it's innocent enough to not give away how they died.

[foggysilverfeathers]

It’s HotGuy Comics Zine live-blogging time!

Spoilers below cut :)

First of all what the heck that is such a good cover???? That’s so pretty??? This colour scheme is so good I think I’m in love

‘Humanity weaves an endless tapestry of heart hope and home’??? This is only page too and it’s already so good I wish I had this skill

ooh cool custom icons

Scar is a B-list actor lmao

is that Lizzie?? Mayhaps??

IT IS

I’M GAL AND I’M GUY XDDDD

ooh

OOH

OH

Something funky is happening…

Love for Jellie 6 🥺

ngl I did spend way too long trying to figure out if AVESL spelt anything

DOODY MARUU COMIC!!!

Love those action frames

Mini HG!!!

AWWW ALL THE WRITER DOODLES

Are those

You didn’t

ARE THOSE POPPIES AND LILACS

Oh??

Oh??

Also don’t think I missed CuteGuy putting the flowers in his hair

PEARL!!!!!!!

MUMBLR OMG

TEETH DOG <3

ALL THE RECREATED MEMES!!

Tek talk???

Maple Prince -> Etho????

Doc mention!!!

Ariana Griande!!!!!

Omg there are so many references here

Season 6 Hippies!!! Permit Office Grian!!!

Please Hold music!!! Mumbo Season 8 Wonderwall reference????

Life Series clock???

Midnight alley!!

Cool action sequence!!!!!

My bet’s on Cleo

OH NO

If I’ve learnt one thing from the sneak peaks it’s that that sculk is not only important but also. probably not great.

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

OH I GET IT IT’S CUB SCULK ERA

SNAIL!!!!

Sculk spreading on Cute Guy???

More Pearl!!!

Bdubs!!!!!!

Well that isn’t ominous at all

OH I GET IT CHATTER IS TWITTER AND IT WAS REBRANDED TO M

TOPSY!!!

Sumagram like Xisuma???

Also we’re only 100 pages into 410 so this is going to be a long post

That drink is so pretty!!

JELLIE!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Ooh that creeper design is SO COOL

It’s those darn poppies and lilacs again…

OH THERE’S SO MUCH DESERT DEO GRAFFITI

And with that we’re into part two

AND ONCE AGAIN THAT IS AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS COVER

The characterisation is so good, I can actually hear all of their voices!!

AWWWW

That’s a lot of exclamation warning marks…

OH THAT’S A COOL SHOT

Timmy!

TIMMY?

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

WAIT

OH MY GOD

AGDHKSLJDHA

OK

ok

So Gem is here and is fully red life

And I was going to bet that the deer in the title was her and then it was Timmy

BUT NO IT WAS ACTUALLY HER

AND TIMMY IS DEAD

CANARY FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING

HG bow is snapped

CG is injured and is at Cleo’s hospital???

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Anyway

Moving on

Another cool cover?? And ominous title that just got the lyrics stuck in my head??

Oh is that Pearl????

Pearl again!!

Soup!!!

OH IT’S THE SOUP GROUP

OH THAT'S NOT GOOD

I need to pause (terrible time, I know) but will be liveblogging more later!!

[vintagerpg]

Let Us In (2021) is Luke Rejec’s very brief, very brilliant little Halloween zine. It is system agnostic — you can probably play it with the ultra light resolution system provided (a single paragraph long!) or you can bolt the pre-generated characters’ special abilities onto another light system of choice. I’d suggest Tunnel Goons, perhaps.

Anyway, the game is set in the Lastlands, a strange setting that feels like a near future, possibly post-apocalyptic world (though one that has largely recovered), but one portrayed through a retro lens. Rejec mentions '70s films as inspiration, and that is in here, but I actually get a bit of a Mid-Century Modern vibe. Regardless of the specifics, there are a lot of intriguing details hinting at a large world for such a brief game. I can easily see this as a movie, which is not something I generally think about RPGs.

There are four pre-generated characters. They’ve come to a somewhat remote mansion to check in on one character’s aunt, who wrote a panicked letter, then wrote another taking it back, then vanished. Something STRANGE is going on. I don’t want to ruin the surprise with specifics, but it is both extremely unnerving and surprisingly polite.

My very favorite thing is how the game is structure. It’s a three hour game, the first real-time hour the players explore the mansion and deal with creepy but non-threatening issues, the second hour serious threats emerge, the third pushes to resolution — the players must act decisively and face the consequences of their choices. Its a tight, but elegant construction.

Rejec illustrated the whole thing as well, in black, white and orange. Its lovely.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 25

welcome to the twenty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space by @mayerwien

LANCE do u like the taste of spam, van kieu because thats what ull get 1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl every hour on d hour

KEITH And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful. Look, I’ll tell you, alright? Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.

LANCE glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)

--

Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?

Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!

i can confidently say, in my 6+ years of being a klance stan, i have never seen anything like this before or since. this fic is AMAZING. completely new idea, hilarious, sweet, and totally untouchable. i’ve always love testing fics that are done right (bc theyre always funny), and does this one ever knock it out of the park! the dynamics are amazing and the rivalry is EXQUISITE. bonus of vietnamese keith and filipino lance, and this one line (it’s a spoiler so im not going to put it here) that actually knocked me out of the water. its about the CHOICE.

2. But You’ll Peek Through by Barkour

It's weird, the things you get used to when you've been stuck in space for years. How much you miss home. Socializing regularly with only six people. No wifi. Your cranky boyfriend.

this is one of the earliest vld fics ever written, and it has a CROWN idk. this fic makes me feel so many emotions all at once. like  i miss u 2016 fic i miss u keith gyeong i miss u bitchy klance i miss u early voltron found family dynamic i miss u old lance’s family headcanons i miss u bamf team. rip to the earliest voltron fandom (also. how did this author know about romelle. in 2016.)

3. Pull Me Closer by @thewriter2

An ancient power dwells in Lance’s very bones. It hums a sweet song of the sea in Lance’s ear, calling him to the water. Keith’s bones are on fire as the very spirit of the flame lives in him. However, it’s these ancient powers that begin to pull them together; that shows them how to properly balance each other out

i SEARCHED for this fic. i made half my followers search with me too. this fic is bamf lance to the fucking max, and its AMAZING. how many of you have wanted waterbender lance so badly you could barely speak? firebender keith? if u said u didnt then ur lying. this fic has literally everything you could ask for in a canon divergence

4. The Homestead by @devooshawrites

Keith is hired for the summer to work on the farm of the McClain family. He and the youngest son of the family become good friends, though Keith might want more.

i am so fucking in love with aus like this. cowboy or farmboy where theyre quietly in love in their own bubble of the world?? i cannot get enough of them. i would read a million of them. this fic in particular is SO soft and tender, it is so so important to me. ive read it so many times. its one of those fics that brings a smile to your face that u literally cannot fight back

5. Prince Charming by @taylortot

Lance thinks that Prince Keith is just another stuck-up royal with an attitude problem until they spend some time together outside of the palace and he discovers that he couldn't have been more wrong.

Written for The First of Forever Zine!

this fic is SO tender it is sickeningly sweet. “rivals” to friends to lovers is so special to me, and no one does it like taylortot fr. love is stored in the tender moments away 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[koolades-world]

DAMN SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A DU TO OBEY ME PIPELINE. that fandom made me worse and i think it made my life go downhill (/hj). i was so mean like we weren't all children with unrestricted internet access idk why i thought it was that serious </3 (sorry i was reading ur blog and saw a post responding to someone and i went "wait i minute" and had a few flashbacks)

OMG HEYYYY (more ex fandom ranting under the cut!)

first, welcome!! so glad you found a better fandom to migrate to and that you aren't stuck in the past like some people i knew. you are all good, no need to apologize. it's so crazy to me that i've encountered not one, but two ex du fans out in the wild! i thought there were about fifteen of us total lol. i know that war flashback feeling. was digging through old screenshots for something the other day and i found my stash and had to take a moment. sorry if some of this makes no sense or has odd flow. i'm word vomiting and i'm pretty tired rn (in the middle of drinking a matcha, coffee, and monster all at the same time). college has been sucking the life out of me, but i just had to answer this immediately

yeah it was absolutely wild man. i don't think anyone except like a few people liked me because to this day i'm still only friends with two of them. the way i was absolutely witched hunted i tell you :sob: i 100% made more enemies than friends. even my readers were mean, and i just took it all for some reason? i've been on tumblr for about a year and half now, and i haven't had a single mean fan, but back in the day, i think i had more than i can count. yes i was on wattpad for longer, but considering the ratio, that's crazy. i have about 2.2k followers here (love all of you guys mwa mwa) and i have zero mean fans. on wattpad i think i have like 260 something, and the fact that i cant count the amount of mean fans i had is insane. if i didn't have those friends, i would be convinced it was a fever dream. if you were on wattpad at the time, you'd understand how jarring the swap from that fandom to this one would be. fanfics are allowed? still kinda crazy to me actually. can't believe being an author is welcome here! im part of a zine now!!! i didn't think that was every going to happen. have no clue how the hell this pipeline happened, but hey! at least there's two examples lol. like i said before, i honestly cannot tell if it made me better or worse, but i can for sure think of all the ways it made me worse! haha.

yeah we were all kids with unrestricted internet access everyone was like 10 to 14. i was 13 or 14 when i entered the fandom and that was old LOL. can't believe i was the responsible adult in the room at 14! my now best friend was like 11 or so at the time. maybe its the trauma bonding or something, but we're basically siblings now. we are inseparable, package deal if you will. if you remember chev, i am exactly one day older than him lol <3 my favorite running joke but it also shows my age. the swap to this fandom was so odd, because now i'm a baby compared to everyone else lol. i can't believe i'm no longer a mediator or anything. this fandom is pretty unproblematic and it's so so refreshing to just be able to exist

if you knew who i was back in the day and didn't hate me, feel free to reach out! if you didn't still feel free to reach out haha. even if you didn't know me, you probably knew my best friend whether you liked it or not haha. i understand if you don't want to, but if you ever want to chat, i totally wouldn't mind! feel free to send me a dm and i can give you my discord. would be nice to get another outside perspective. if not, again, totally fine! have a wonderful day and hope you're recovering well. you're a fighter and deserve the best! hugs and kisses :)

[tailoredshirt]

K!!!! 11, 14 & 18 but for your own fics!!!

(Sorry if you’ve already answered some of these I’m just logged on for the first time today!!)

Sorry, I am finally able to answer this properly!

11) Most unique merch you have for a fandom?

I have a graphic novel/zine by @reallycorking from Haikyuu! fandom! I also own two prints of really beautiful Harry Potter art by @foxestacado - one of Lily Potter and one of Hermione reading. 💕

14) Fandom you keep returning to answered here.

18) All-time favorite fanfic?

I do reread my own fics a lot, both to convince myself that I can actually write things that are not awful, and also because I wrote them because I loved the idea!

Inseparable, like gravity is a cockwarming fic, and I have two others I'm working on. I love acts of extreme intimacy so it's a kink I really love. This was my first time writing sex for this fandom and it didn't seem to get much engagement, so I was left feeling like maybe 911ls fandom wasn't as into higher rated fics. But I think engagement with sex fics has risen since I posted that one.

A safe distance is about TK saving Carlos's life when Carlos is shot during a mass-shooter situation while they're broken up. I wrote it all (12k) in one week, which is not normal for me. I'm a hurt/comfort fiend, so it hits a lot of my buttons.

Sorry, I know this is just supposed to be for one fic, but I'll list one more. Every morning another chapter is pretty close to my heart because I put a lot of myself into it. It's set after 3x08 and is about TK struggling to accept Carlos's support with regard to his addiction. He pushes back against Carlos's attempts to help, as a defense mechanism, and then struggles to figure out his own rollercoaster of feelings. I tried to make it feel real and not just hurt/comfort for the sake of comfort.

[andypantsx3]

would you happen to have any tips for getting your work noticed and making friends with other writers in the community? ;w;

Hello my love!! This is an interesting question!! Idk that I have a tried-and-true model to recommend you follow because I've sort of found myself where I am by accident!!

In terms of my own fics finding an audience, I mostly just happened to be in the right place at the right time, aka writing fics 3.5 years ago when the pandemic fanfic boom happened! I think most of my readers are just people who happened to see me around then!! (Thanks for sticking around guys, I love you. 🥺)

And I'm a little more chatty now that I've found my footing, but I'm actually fairly introverted; my first fandom friendships were mostly formed by dint of a bunch of extroverts adopting me lmao.

So I do think a lot of success anywhere, not just in fic writing, is down to luck! But if I had to think on what things I would do if I was trying to get a few new eyes on my stories and meet some more cool people, I'd say the following:

Join servers! I really enjoy the servers I've joined, although people can tell you I mostly lurk lmao, but they're a good place to chat and get to know people more intimately. I think this is probably the number one way to make friends in fandom!!

Join collabs! If you're in a fic-centric server they will also sometimes offer collab events and that's a good way to get your work on people's radars!! But there's plenty of non-server collabs that writers offer on here too!! I'd be on the lookout for those and join any that seem fun!

Join networks/writer communities! I'm not a member of any network, but I do follow blkwriters, which is a community dedicated to boosting black fic writers. Not sure if either of this applies to you, but I'm sure there are other networks out there applicable to either you or the type of fics you're interested in writing!!

Join zines! This is similar to joining collabs, in that it's a good way to get your work on people's radars and meet new peeps!! There's also the added benefit, for some zines, of beta mods who will give feedback on your work too, something that I found really useful when I did mine!!

There's also the marketing advice of like, making cool banners and finding the right posting time, and writing for popular characters, etc etc but I think you should tell the stories you wanna tell and not let the ~fandom market~ dictate what you do!! (The cool banners part though definitely do if it interests you. Our benevolent design angel todorosie has a couple of good advice posts on how to get started with that!!)

Lastly, I know people don't like it when I say it, but I'm gonna say it anyway lol because I truly believe it and it always bears repeating when it comes to talking about engagement. But always keep in mind that it's about the quality of engagement and not quantity!! Make friends and tell stories for the pleasure of doing so, and I think you will find the deepest satisfaction in that!!

I personally have found after having some fics that people would probably consider successful, and some that I think people would consider flops, what really means the most is when you make a deep connection with someone, even if it's one of only like, 15 notes on a fic. One enthusiastic friend can literally make an entire fic worth it.

Anyway that's what I can think of!! I hope at least some of this is helpful!! And if people have other ideas please feel free to chime in!!

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

Interest Check for an Aspec Selfshippers Digital Zine!

YES YOU READ IT WELL

I wanted to celebrate Pride in this blog somehow and what's better than doing so with other aspec people of this beautiful community by building something with our own works! I am excited to organise this but for now I'm just sharing this Interest Check Form with you to have an idea of everyone's interests, know your opinions and think about how it would work the best according to them. If enough people want to participate, the form to actually do so will be posted in Pride Month as the project is expected to start there. It would be a summer-long thing that will be available to download for free by August or so.

Here is the link to the Interest Check and also some other information that you can already find in it:

"Hello and welcome to the Interest Check of this future zine! The project is planned to start in pride month and be finished by the end of summer, so it's a summer-long project for all aspec selfshippers to enjoy and celebrate! Here are some main ideas about how it will be organised to give you a bit more of information in case you want to ask something related to these:

- I don't plan to choose a specific topic apart from Aspec selfshippers. I'd like this to be a zine for us all to freely contribute with whatever makes us happy, especially since it's our first time organising this. Maybe in the future we could choose something else for other similar projects, but for now I'd like this one to be like a welcoming white canvas for us all!

- Proshippers cannot participate. Please refrain from answering this form if you are one of them.

- NSFW content will be welcomed as long as it's tagged properly! It would be great to dedicate a part of the zine for these works if enough participants would like to contribute with NSFW pieces.

- Participants will need to have Discord as it is easier to organise something like this there than in Tumblr itself.

- I am planning on adding info of what characters' each piece is about so those who are uncomfortable sharing f/os can easily avoid other selfships with them. As it will be easier to do this at the beginning of fics and not so much in illustrations, I thought of adding these in the index, too. If you've read until here, I would appreciate to know your opinion on this and any other ideas you think would be great to add/change!

- Also this will be a free zine!!"

I also wanna thank @lost-in-azalea-forest and @wurufuluv for supporting my idea and already helping me with these first steps in organising it all, I really hope we all can enjoy this!

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Unbounded zine! I’m glad I don’t have to choose between “UST with ex” and “angsty bf” and can just have both.

…

…

…

…

Megaera couldn’t stop Zagreus.

Not that it stopped her from trying. As he stepped into her arena once more, bruised and bloodied from his relentless journey through the underworld, she gripped her whip tightly and stepped into the center of the room. Despite herself, she had to admit there was something appealing about his bedraggled state, his torn clothes revealing just enough skin to entice.

“Zagreus,” she greeted firmly, pushing her feelings aside. Megaera was a professional in all the ways that mattered. There was a reason Lord Hades entrusted her with this position.

“Oh, it’s you again.”  Oblivious, Zagreus waved tiredly. His tunic shifted, revealing tanned skin and lean muscles, old scars and bloody bruises. The fight to her stadium must have been brutal, he looked more exhausted than normal. “Hiya, Meg.”

She should reprimand him for the nickname. It was utterly improper at work. Yet, pity or something like it stayed her tongue. Instead, she merely raised a brow and gestured at him. “Were the monsters that strong or are you just that weak?”

“Ouch. I see you haven’t lost your thorns.” Zagreus sighed, rolling back his shoulders. A particularly tantalizing string of bruises on his collarbone disappeared under his tunic as he stretched. It reminded her of another, steamier night when her teeth had left her mark. “Have you considered how tiring it is to get here?”

“You weren’t this beat-up last time.” Immediately, she clamped her jaw shut. She hadn’t meant to let that slip. Though it was true. It had only been weeks since he’d first made it to her post, but he had improved steadily throughout that time. Last time, he had barely a scratch when he’d knocked on her door.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll think you care.” Zagreus chuckled as he leaned against a pillar on the right side of the room. His legs wobbled and he slid down. “Say, Meg, can I have a moment to catch my breath? You wouldn’t want to beat a tired man, right? I doubt it’ll be any fun.”

She shouldn’t agree. Megaera took care of her work properly, keeping work and personal matters separate. Unlike her sisters, she always knew exactly where she was, who she was facing, and what she had to do.

“It wouldn’t be sporting. New weapon?” she asked, quietly sitting down next to him. Their shoulders bumped but she didn’t pull away. Maybe she was getting soft and sentimental with age. She’d have to beat it out later.

He closed his eyes, too tired to be surprised. It wouldn’t take much to send him back to the House of Hades, even a gentle tap would be enough. “Mmm. I can’t quite get the hang of it.”

“That’s surprising. Your only good trait is how fast you learn.” Megaera watched him from the corner of her eyes. She had known this profile for eons. One of these days, he’d actually make it to the top, and then what? Would he return? Would Lord Hades allow him to?

One of these days, he’d breeze through everything and the spot next to her would be empty.

“All thorns today, huh?” Zagreus chuckled. His shoulders relaxed and he was utterly unguarded. He shouldn’t trust her so much. “Did something happen?”

You. But that wasn’t a professional answer and this wasn’t a personal space. Megaera had never been one to talk about her feelings either way. She only knew how to dodge and pivot around such questions. “What’ll you do after you find your mother?”

“That…” Zagreus opened his eyes now, his voice faltering. He bit his lip as he considered her words. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead. I mean, I can’t even make it past my father yet.”

“Lord Hades is very strong,” Megaera agreed. There was a reason he was the ruler down here, a reason why the gods on Olympus didn’t dare even cross the threshold into this domain. Yet, even then, she was certain that Zagreus would beat him. Even if it was just once.

“Annoyingly so. I think he just likes beating me up.” Zagreus huffed, irritated. He crossed his arms and scowled like a petulant child. “He almost smiled last time.”

“Smiled?” Megaera couldn’t imagine it. Maybe back when Persephone had resided down here, though her memories of that time had faded long ago.

“I know.” Zagreus sighed and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up further. “Well, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, haven’t I?” He glanced at her, eyes crinkling slightly. “I don’t suppose you’d go easy on me, just this once?”

“Never,” she replied immediately.

“No hesitation. Thought so.” Zagreus laughed, though he didn’t sound put out. Slowly, he rose to his feet. “Then the hard way it is.”

It was impetuous. Megaera was many things, but she would never have called herself impulsive. Yet, before she could think about it, she abruptly grabbed his hand and yanked him back to the ground. His back hit the dirt and his head narrowly missed the pillar. There was probably a new bruise on him, one that would fade again once he died and returned to the house.

Zagreus groaned, rubbing his head. “What’s with the cheapshot?” he complained, wincing. When she didn’t answer, he turned his head and studied her. “Meg?”

Her nickname. One day, he’d disappear though those doors and she wouldn’t hear it again. One of these days, he might just not return.

Megaera was not a sentimental fool—that was Thanatos’s job—but she climbed on top of Zagreus, her fingers already shoving his tunic away. Not that there was much to move at this point, his clothing was like scraps barely held together. When he opened his mouth, she glared and barked, “Don’t ask.”

“Don’t ask—” Zagreus flinched as her cold fingers brushed his collarbone, as she slowly lowered her head, her long hair draping over his chest. Her breath warmed his skin and he shuddered. “Wait, what—here?”

“I said don’t.” For once, she wished he was like he used to be, back when he had been an idiotic, callous godling who’d just shut up when she told him to. She wouldn’t have missed that Zagreus. She kissed his neck, her teeth grazing his skin.

Mine, she didn’t say.

Stop, she didn’t beg.

The hickey was dark. If by the time he found his mother, if he was still searching for a reason to come back, she hoped he’d see it and remember just who was left behind.

-x-

Thanatos couldn’t make Zagreus stay.

He wasn’t enough. He had never been enough. Thanatos had known this for centuries now. They had been brothers once, were lovers now, and yet none of these bonds were strong enough to convince Zagreus to stay. None of these bonds were better than that with a mother Zagreus had never met.

Instead, here he was in Elysium once more, making his way to the surface as relentlessly as Zeus or Apollo chased women. For once, Zagreus looked in good shape, with minimal injuries. The monsters weren’t doing their jobs properly. Maybe this time he’d finally make it to the surface.

A dull ache spread at the thought, but Thanatos was used to that feeling. He glanced around the open area. For once, paradise was empty, filled only with shallow pools of healing water and benches to rest on. Nothing that required Thanatos’s special skills, nothing that he had to help with.

He should leave.

“Than!” Zagreus called out, his voice anchoring Thanatos as firmly as a hand. “Fancy bumping into you here.”

It irritated him just how much of a hold Zagreus had on him. Even the godling’s voice was like a chain, keeping Thanatos tethered. Megaera had always been better at keeping a distance. With a sigh, he turned around and faced his partner. “Zag.”

Zagreus wiped the sweat from his brow. He smirked cockily, his arrogance always appearing in the worst ways. It was unfortunately extremely appealing. “Came to help again?”

Part of him wanted to shatter the sheer confidence that lay in that question, in the way that Zagreus smiled at him, in the way his lover’s hands were already brushing his skin. But he was weak, he had always been weak to Zagreus, and the best he could muster was a cold, “Obviously not.”

Not buying it, Zagreus laughed and patted him on the back. “Sure, whatever you say mate. Still, I suppose we got lucky this time. There’s nothing here.”

“With how you’ve handled your weapons lately, I suppose you’ll need the break,” Thanatos scoffed, though he didn’t shrug away Zagreus’s hand. It burned him as deeply as a brand.

“First Meg, now you,” Zagreus grumbled, crossing his arms as he glared at Thanatos. His expression was more playful than frustrated. “Admit it, you both just like talking down to me.”

“Talking down?” Thanatos rolled his eyes. He couldn’t stop himself from continuing their little charade. “We are merely pointing out reality.”

“Right. Sure. I’m the one who has to fight my way up, unlike you two. And I’m barely even injured this time.” Zagreus gestured at his body, as thought that proved anything. Thanatos knew of the healing aid Zagreus received during his journey.

“Then I won’t have to carry your body down?” Thanatos asked lightly, faking nonchalance.

“It’s not like I plan to die.” Zagreus snorted. He bumped his shoulder against Thanatos’s and smirked. “Better you than Charon, though. His grip is always so cold.”

He wasn’t sure if he should be pleased or annoyed. “I could do without the extra work.”

“Again, it’s not like I want to die.” Zagreus sighed. Scratching his head, he scanned their surroundings. “Well, at least you don’t have to worry about that happening here. It’s been a while since I found a healing fountain.” He smirked. “Since there’s nothing to fight—”

Thanatos could read between the lines. He pulled his hood over his head. “I’ll leave.”

“What?” Zagreus lunged for his hand, stopping him in his tracks. Panicked, he blurted, “That’s not what I meant. I just thought we could take a breather here. Together.”

An odd, ticklish feeling coiled in his chest. Thanatos looked away. “Some of us have jobs, Zag.”

“You can still take a break. Charon can handle the load, and so can Her—” Zagreus paled and cut himself off.  Scratching his cheek, he weakly chuckled. “I mean, you have Charon. You can take shifts or something.”

Thanatos studied him. That was definitely not what he was about to say. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to push it. They had enough falling apart between them without exposing yet another secret. “We don’t have the exact same job.”

“Close enough.” Tugging his hand lightly, Zagreus guided him to a bench. “Come on. Just a few minutes.”

He should say no. As it was, he was backlogged, the expanding mortal world filled with more and more lost souls he had to ferry to Hades’ domain. Yet Zagreus’s hand was warm in his, his grip firm, his eyes beguiling.

Despite himself, he let his lover pull him onto the seat.

Despite himself, he stayed, their hands clasped, their feet skimming the fountain water. The cuts on Zagreus healed and his bruises faded. Thanatos smiled softly. That was better—he hated finding Zagreus injured.

Forcing a neutral expression, he gestured at Zagreus’s singed tunic. It was easy to tell what he’d gone through just by the burns and cuts in his clothing. “Lava again?”

“Asphodel is hot,” Zagreus defended himself. His shoulders hunched as he sulked. He trailed a toe through the water. “Sometimes it splashes. There should be guardrails down there.”

“Not everyone is as clumsy as you,” Thanatos chided, allowing himself to relax just a little. There was no one to witness this. There was nothing to fight. It had been too long since it had been just the two of them. He smirked, feeling slightly playful. “I’ve never had to pull anyone out of lava before.”

“That was one time and that was an accident.” Zagreus’s shoulder bump was less affectionate this time.

“That’s still one more time than anyone else.” Thanatos shook his head. “How’s the Hydra?”

Zagreus grimaced. “The usual. It’s not that bad, though the heads are a little too much. Still, I’d rather fight a dozen Hydras than have to deal with Theseus again. He’s so smug. And annoying. A smug and annoying bastard.”

Thanatos couldn’t resist the easy jab. “I could say that about someone else.”

Idly, Zagreus played with Thanatos’s hand. His fingers traced nonsensical patterns on his palm. “I’m not that bad. There are levels. He breaks the scale.”

“No…I suppose you are better than him.” They were falling into old patterns, old banter. It felt familiar. It felt safe. It felt like they were back in Nyx’s quarters, curled up together in bed. Thanatos had always felt most comfortable next to Zagreus, and however much their relationship had changed, that hadn’t.

“Oh, a rare compliment.” Zagreus’s touch grew more sensual and he smirked as Thanatos shuddered. He leaned closer, their eyes meeting. “And look, it didn’t kill you to give it.”

Thanatos couldn’t look away. “It could have killed you to get it.”

“Mmm, well, then you would just have to carry me home.” Zagreus merely leaned even closer, his breath ghosting Thanatos’s lips. His other hand cupped Thanatos’ cheek. “I was just thinking I wanted more alone time with you.”

Liar. If he really wanted that, he’d just stay put.

If he really felt that, he wouldn’t try to leave.

But Thanatos didn’t argue, didn’t do anything but close his eyes. Trapped in Zagreus’s embrace, he could only lean into his lover’s hand as they kissed. He couldn’t make Zagreus stay and he couldn’t leave with him. Wanting anything more than this moment was greedy, and that desire would only lead to heartbreak in the future.

In this moment, in this present, there was only this kiss, this touch, and Thanatos didn’t have the strength to leave.

-x-

Zagreus was afraid he would never want to leave.

It was easy to say otherwise. Especially in front of his father, with his deriding taunts and angry threats. Especially in front of Nyx, with her gentle guidance and constant worry. Whether it was hate or love, Zagreus knew how to put on a brave front. There was no reason to turn back.

It was much harder to say that lying in bed, entangled in Megaera and Thanatos. They surrounded him, their warmth enveloping him as they slept. There was an arm on his waist, another around his shoulders, and their legs were tangled like the Gordian knot. Someone’s breath tickled his shoulder. Hair brushed his ear. His hand was on something soft.

Like a butterfly under the glass, his lovers pinned him in place.

For all that he rebelled against his father, Zagreus didn’t mind the Underworld. He even liked it.

Which was a problem. Cocooned between his lovers’ bodies, Zagreus didn’t want to get off the bed. He didn’t want to go to the surface, he didn’t want to find his mother, he didn’t really want to do anything but lie here while Thanatos and Megaera clung to him. And for the two most standoffish people he’d ever met, they’d been clinging to him more and more these days, in the oddest of ways. Their kisses tasted of desperation, their voices trembled with untold regret, and an unknown fear burned bright in their eyes.

No, not unknown. He had the same fear when he looked in the mirror. Perhaps that was the worst part—there was nothing he could do or say to ease their worries. He couldn’t promise he’d return, he couldn’t swear to stop, and those were the only things that would reassure the pair.

Everything had changed the moment he learned the truth. And everything would change again when he found his mother. For better, for worse, only the Fates knew, but change it would. Even their feelings could change, though he didn’t like to think of that.

Zagreus huffed, blowing a stray bang away from his eyes. Megaera stirred slightly—she’d always been a light sleeper—before nestling into his arms once more. Thanatos snored softly, his expression entirely unguarded for once. For a moment, everything was peaceful.

He tightened his grip on them, burrowing deeper into their embrace. For a moment, he would pretend that it was before, that Nyx was still his mother, that he didn’t have a purpose, that he was just the clumsy son who couldn’t handle his father’s affairs.

That he didn’t have a reason to leave, and two more to stay.

Just for tonight, he would pretend that he only belonged here, to them.

[naamah-beherit]

On fanzines and the mess their current state is

Or: musings from a writer's biased perspective.

This post has been a long time coming, but always something else caught my attention and months passed as such. Finally, the time has come.

There was a zine wank recently. The mods proved to be quite ignorant how art works, kicked the artist, the artist went public with receipts, the mods insisted it wasn't like that, and the whole affair kept derailing with possibly another explanation for the kicking until at last the mods cancelled the zine. And it's just the latest wank of many. A zine here took money and never delivered the product, another zine there has a mod who hasn't read the book but only heard about it from their friends who, coincidentally, are the other mods. And so on, and so forth. Everywhere you look, there's a fanzine. Multiple fanzines in fact, sometimes at the same time. Which is understandable, given how old a concept of a zine is and how solid their foundations in fandoms.

Or, well, technically, because when I think about the zines of today, I can't help but realise they're gradually losing the connection to their roots.

(yes, this might be another post of the "old person yells at clouds" type. I'm fully aware of that)

I won't summarise a history of zines, because that's not the point here and also Fanlore has done a much better job in this article. It does serve as a good starting point, though, if you've never ventured past "zines are a thing that exist". The most important thing to keep in mind is: the zines used to be about much more than just art. And here lies some of my beef with them.

Nowadays, most if not all zines are art books. Worse than that: art books that refuse to acknowledge the fact, own it, and market themselves accordingly. I actually own an art book that was announced and sold as such (Ages of Arda Anthology), which to this day in all my fandoms¹ remains the only publication of that kind. And if the zines of today would have acknowledged their main focus is mostly if not only art, I wouldn't be writing this.

Alas, here we are. I participated in four zines. Additionally, I was one of the editors in one of those. It was the first English Hualian zine, actually, back in 2019 - unless another one somehow slipped my mind, but I don't think so. My 2019 was bad, but TGCF is the only thing I remember well from that time. I've also been traditionally published (three times so far), which is also relevant to the rant. I admit I don't remember how many check-ins we had for that one zine I was in the staff of. We had a word/size limit for the entries. As fas as I recall, that was the entry criteria. I might be missing details, though; I was hella depressed at the time. Like I said, bad year, few memories and 99% of them is TGCF.

But anyway, the other three zines I wrote for. I applied, was accepted, went through the process, saw it to the end. You know, the "usual" zine process. The one I've got Opinions™ about.

Let's start with submissions. x samples of works of y quality. Okay, sure, we all think without stopping to realise it's a tad weird to submit a selected portfolio of works for a hobby event as if it were a job application. It gets weirder the longer you think about it, because, as I once wrote, fandom is for fun. It's a hobby. Maybe I'm old and jaded, or an idealist, or an old jaded idealist, but I believe everyone has a place in something as deeply tied to the fandom as a fanzine.

Then comes what I've got a personal vendetta against: check-ins and deadlines. Sure, I know people create projects with specific time frames in mind, but dear gods, again, it's not a job. Nothing bad will happen if dates shift around a bit when there's no money involved. Maybe it's just me being bitter about putting fun, fannish activity into strict professional frames. again, I'm old and jaded. And dear gods, check-ins. Here's when my trad pub history comes into play, because in neither case I had to let the editorial staff know I was actually working. True, it might be a case for a story that isn't done yet, doubly so if there's a deadline looming over both an author and their editor, but when you submit something finished and aren't asked to revise&resubmit, you go over the editorial input, make the changes (or not if you're feeling brave, lol), send it back, go over the proof copy, submit possible adjustments, and that's it. Or at least that's how it worked for me for two magazines and a short story anthology.

What does it matter if someone writes a story the day before the zine submissions are due? If it works for them, then it shouldn't be an issue. Again, it might be just me, but standardising and project-managising a hobby activity doesn't really sit well with me. From my very biased perspective, I don't see fun in chasing deadlines and writing on the clock, but that's just me.

Zine being a project rather than fun activity also ties to it becoming a product. That means a zine has to sell to at least cover the production cost, and with the quality the organisers and the audience expect, the labour cost is basically non-existent. That at least remained from a fun hobby activity - people working for free, lol. It also enables situations when the same few highly popular artists partake in most or all zines in a fandom (often upon invitations, whose very existence makes my blood boil), leading to a reality where zines become an endless cycle of repetition. And don't even get me started on invitations that add to the marketing strategy of selling the zines. "Here are our wonderful, carefully selected artists, and here's everyone else". That's how I see it. Where has "we're all fans of the same thing" gone? Where's "share our mutual love for the same thing"? Instead, we get invited people and those who have to submit a CV-like application for a senior position.

You ruined a perfectly good fan activity, is what you did. Look at it, it's got capitalism.

And last but not least, art books that refuse to acknowledge what they are and the subsequent treatment of writers.

The longer I look at zines, the lower the artists:writers ratio is becoming. Sure, people like to look at art, because it's quite often easier and always quicker than reading. Sure, ain't nobody got time for reading these days. BUT. The growing disparity between respect and reception of works of artists vs writers is, well, growing, and by not giving writers an equal treatment and exposure in something as important to fandoms as fanzines doesn't help to improve the situation. Again, my opinion, but when seeing zine promos that have got approximately 20-30+ artists and 5-10 writers at most is not cool. This is why I say most of the zines these days are art books that refuse the name. And there's nothing wrong with that name, or with including only artists in something that's only about visual art. But when it's mixed for art and writing, then the least zine organisers could do is make the numbers equal. Again, we're all fans of the same thing, and no fan activity is better than the other when its outlet is meant to be varied. Also, where are cosplayers? Where are meta writers? Both of those have got a place in a fanzine as well and should be given a treatment equal to other expression of fannish love.

Am I trying to turn back a river with a stick? Probably. But I'm fed up with zines that fail because someone embezzles funds, zines that prioritise the same group of people over and over again over a more diverse crowd, or claim they're welcoming to all forms of expressions but obviously prefer to include only fanart. I'm fed up with manufacturing zine after zine after zine just because they sell. I'm fed up with fandom becoming more and more of a structured professional endeavour instead of a hobby. I'm fed up with audience that constantly demands a faster and faster stream of, well, content. Neither of those is what fandom and fanzines should be like.

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PS. not proofread. Sorry, I'm too dead to do that, so mistakes may get fixed within the next few days, 'cause they sure as hell are many.

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¹ - I don't know anything about other fandoms, though. Like I said: it's all opinions from a very personal angle.