#this is mostly jokes this is great I love sad old men (and women) but also Jake Hurwitz when I fucking GET you

[one-little-nerd-stayed-home]

Me starting episode 30 this morning: Save me Hardwon Surefoot

Hardwon Surefoot: If I start to slow you down you leave me behind

Jake Hurwitz you bastard

[avaelangel]

I'm sad and insane. I think the show ends on my fucking birthday weekend. So you get random and stupid Claudeleine living in the 2020s headcanons.

Madeleine has several clothing lines under different names. Going out of the 1940, she was a seamstress for people, mostly ladies, who were too tall\big\thin for factory-made clothes. She still does that sometimes.

For a long time, Claudia was gathering rare books from different places. Only some of them got sold, Claudia has a collection of vintage and modern Emiliy Dickinson edition.

They are a couple. Totally, completely in love with each other. There's very little PDA about them, but the glances they give each other while Claudia helps Madeleine with sewing makes everybody jealous.

Vampires are great mimics, so Claudia can sew, but she doesn't want to impose on Madeleine's thing. But Madeleine doesn't sew for herself much, so Claudia sometimes fixates on making something nice for her beloved.

They spent some time in different suburbias over few decades. Madeleine relished freaking out mothers, young and old, but Claudia, moved only by the sound of her laugh, soon wanted something more quiet.

Honestly, a library of female authors comes easily onto their shelves. Living like ''We have always lived in the castle'' (secluded by woods and scary stories about them) is always an option.

On account of that, Madeleine for sure told at least one child that she's going to eat them. Never did, obviously.

They have mortal friends. Subconsciously, they both aim to leave some good feeling and try not to take too much with them. It's hard not to bring good people along, but both Claudia and Madeleine understand that human lives are important enough to be left alone. After some tweaking.

There's always an option to just...go off into nature. To sleep in the ground and feed on animals. Honestly, a great thing to do during a pandemic.

They play-fight at times. Full on hissing and throwing things, until Claudia drools while baring fangs and Madeleine is just dead from laughter.

Claudia doesn't sleep well. Madeleine can't brag about it either, but it comes easier to her, for some reason. So they talk or read. Both of their coffins are bigger than needed, in order for them both to fit when the moment comes.

No makers. They are just Claudia and Madeleine, no men involved, no men left behind. Just Madeleine and Claudia.

Claudia continues learning languages and barely earns praise for her French from Madeleine. Even to the point of Claudia not having an accent, her French would always be ''ugly-ish'', but Claudia will always be beautiful.

In turn, Claudia taunts Madeleine with new pet names in different languages, not telling her what they mean until Madeleine gets mad, seeks out a dictionary and stand there, ready to chuck the book at her girlfriend. ''Hornbug? Are you kidding me?'' And that's how Claudia finds out that sometimes, she isn't that good at learning languages.

They are never seen as a mother and a daughter. Claudia dresses like young woman and Madeleine really tries not to dress like an old lady, which Claudia doesn't really encourage. It's her weird white (old) lady, after all.

There are jokes about Claudia liking older women. While her and Madeleine mentally slapping their knees, because Claudia is the older woman.

[floraltypes]

Ohshc Headcannon

OHSHC - Y/n in a uncomfortable situation head-cannons

saw someone else do something similar and wanted to put my own spin on it :))

TW: creepy males making y/n uncomfy

gender neutral x host club members

Haruhi 💗

You’ve decided to go visit the girl while she’s working.

She’s busy talking to one of her guests so you decided to wait and sit at one of the couches

One of the men quickly walked over, he was here to drop off some shipments but thinks that now you’re a new host/hostess

He sits across from you, just staring for a moment before striking a conversation

“So, you seem like a cutie, are you new here?”

Your eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his presence and how blunt he was

“I’m not apart of this club,” You awkwardly chuckle, hoping that Haruhi is almost finished because now you are starting to feel uncomfortable

“Good, good, that just means I don’t have to share you with anyone,” They wink, standing up and now sitting besides you

Haruhi, stops her conversation with the girls, hearing that awkward chuckle of yours her head turns

At first, she just thinks your talking with one of the boys, one telling a inappropriate joke and you just trying to be kind

But soon realizes that’s not the case, and excuses herself

Haruhi doesn’t exactly feel jealous, just a bit confused, and frankly worried

She can tell by your apparent facial expressions that you’re also worried yourself

Finding a empty tea tray, she grabs it, and rushes over with it, then taking a seat besides you

“Y/n!” She smiles, handing you a tea cup, not even filled. “I’m glad you waited for me, sorry to waist your time,”

You’re overjoyed she’s here, the man sending you some interesting glares and you didn’t want to cause a scene

“I’ll do better at watching the time. Um, i’m sorry you don’t look familiar,” She looks at the man while taking one of your hands and intertwining it with hers

“Oh, you were waiting for someone?” He asks you. “You should have told me, it was like you were leading me on,” he scoffs, standing up and leaving

Haruhi looks at you with a small smile

“What a jerk, would you like me to make some actual tea now?”

The both of you laugh, you feeling much more comfortable with her being by your side

Tamaki 💞

He was so excited to spend today with you!

You didn’t feel like doing much, just wanting to maybe go to a cafe with the man

He had tons of things planned, zoos, cafes, shopping, musicals, etc

If there was something fun, he had it planned for you two to do soon

After spending half a day planning the dates you’d have when you both had off, today the both of you would go to a pet shop

Tamaki always expressed how much he loved animals, ever since he was able to go to one, and it’s something he still enjoys indulging in

The both of you were outside the shop, he had some money almost spilling out of his wallet, prepared to buy some animals

Leaving you to make sure he doesn’t, or at least doesn’t go overboard...

Once inside the worker set up a room for you two to play with the puppy

Unfortunately, today was a busy day and many people were also coming, so you were paired up with another group of guys

They had a harsher look, not being so friendly, and smelled kind of gross

You weren’t one to judge, sometimes, but something about them gave off a weird feeling

“Gosh, aren’t these puppies adorable!” Tamaki beamed, picking up the little dog into his arms, then bringing it up to his face

“Tamaki, you have to share with the rest of us,” You reminded him, taking the puppy from him and placing it on the ground

The man sat on your other side, quickly went to grab the dog, his hand touching yours a bit

“But Y/n, I didn’t get enough time with him,” He whined, shaking your shoulders a bit while the other men stifled chuckles

“Y/n, that’s a nice name,” The man on your side commented, sending a smile

“Um, thanks,” You just messed with your fingers, not looking at him

“So,” The one man tried to start up a conversation with Tamaki, giving his friend the chance to talk to you

Tamaki knew they were trying to do something, so he made sure to keep a eye on you, making sure you felt okay

“You know, we don’t have plans after this, what if you came and hung out with us?” The man asked you, moving closer

“Sweetie! Don’t forget that you promised to go get ice cream with me after. It’s the perfect end to our date,” Tamaki smiled widely, grabbing your arm and standing up “Ah, I think i’ve seen enough puppies for today,” He put a hand on your cheek and kissed your lips. “Bye now!”

Kyoya 🤍

His father was hosting a dinner party tonight

The Ootori group just opened a new high tech hospital, with the helps of your families business

It was great to see both families interacting well, and felt good to have his father like you, even if you didn’t really like him

Kyoya was thankful that his father was okay with you, worried it would affect his opportunity in being the heir eventually

You were all dressed up for the night, told to keep a smile and kind words the whole time

But you were mostly planning on spending it by Kyoya’s side..

Eventually he was moved away because his father wanted to introduce all his children to a potential business partner

Your family did the same, to a different man, one who kind of seemed to take a particular interest in you

“I love your hair,” The older, 40 year old man complimented you, your father just smiling lightly and soon walking away

“I should go find, uh, Kyoya!” You smiled oddly at the older man, about to walk away

“Wait up handsome/beautiful,” The man wrapped his chubby fingers around your wrist, tugging on it, and pulling you to stand right in front of him

You frantically looked around, your father talking to someone else, and the mans smile was fretting away from friendly

Kyoya had just finished talking to some painting company CEO, someone he could care less about

He wanted to use this time to do things with you, talk more, hear about your day maybe, just see your smile and hear your laughter

Luckily he turned around at the right moment, seeing the man yank you back and his facial feature turning to a wicked expression

He quickly, but respectfully, whisked over, titling his glasses down a bit and reaching a hand across your lower back to wrap around your waist, pulling you into his side

“Darling, who is this?” Kyoya asked, seeing your expression change to a grateful one

“Um, I never caught his name....?”

“It’s Toling, from America,” He smiled at you, his ‘smile’ changing when looking at Kyoya. “You have a boyfriend?”

“And your from America?” Kyoya questioned back, not letting you answer his. “What exactly is your position, my father, Ootori, he also told me no one from out of country would be here. Why are you here? I don’t think you were invited, this seems like a appropriate moment to call security, do you agree, dear?” He looked at you

“Yeah, I think so,” You grinned at him, pecking his cheek while the older man ran off towards the front door.

Hikaru 💓

The two of you heard about this new performance group in the area

They weren’t anything professional but still interested you both, maybe being so bad you could make a couple jokes about it

It started off... well interesting to say the least...

You both couldn’t figure out where it was going, what the overall theme of it was, I mean someone spilt their ‘prop’ on the stage floor

It was a disaster in the beginning, the both of you already having jokes in mind, but being respectful to wait till the end to say them

During the performance a hand intertwined with yours, that being Hikaru’s of course

When it was finished, the both of you had no words, just tears?

You didn’t know when they got there, or how the performance all of a sudden changed sad, but it was there

You got up to walk by a concession area, hoping to purchase a pack of tissues

Someone was behind you in line, and you could just feel their gaze on your behind

“Do you have a pack of tissues on hand?” You asked, pulling out some money and the women handing it to you

“Tissues, I could have given you those for free,” The man behind you smiled. “Now, what’s a attractive kid like you doing here?”

“Watching a show, like everyone else,” You motioned with your hand, taking a tissue and wiping your eyes

“You’re a funny one, sparky. How about I treat you to a meal?”

“No, thanks,” You scratched the back of your head, trying to step away, but him just blocking you

“Come on now,” He chuckled, reaching for your arm before you pulled back.

“Y/n, hey, you got them,” Hikaru pushed past him, planting a longer kiss on your lips and swinging his arm to rest over your shoulders. “Do you mind? We’re on a date,” He told the older man, guiding you away from him. “You okay, that man sure was a idiot trying to take you away from me,”

Kaoru 💝

He was honestly super pumped about getting to spend time with just you

He saw how much his stubborn twin could fall in love with Haruhi and become a better person, to mature, he wanted that with someone and that was you

To say he was nervous, was a understatement, this was your guys’s first date and he wanted it to be great

Sure you had been dating for a while, but still

You both decided on just going to a carnival thing in town

Sounded fun and would let you both get loose a bit, chat about life, truly have a break from everything and everyone

(not everyone, the club was secretly there making sure it went great)

After a long day, and many rides, Kaoru went to go order some food for the both of you while you waited on the bench

“Is this seat taken?” A man around your age questioned, you nodded you head no, and moved over on the bench to give him some space

“Go ahead,”

“Thanks, wow, uh your eyes are really pretty,” He complimented, taking a sip of his drink

“Oh, thanks?” You shyly smiled, tapping you finger on the bench to a beat, waiting for Kaoru to come back

The man kept asking random questions about yourself though, like ‘how old are you’ ‘what do you think of the weather today’ ‘did you like that ride over there?’ it was awkward for you to answer

Kaoru had just bought the food, starting to walk over, but quickly noticing you chatting with the man

He felt, jealous?

This perfect day he was having, and you’re talking to another guy?!

But wait, he remembered his brother talking about really looking at someone’s actions to truly understand, things they say, really paying attention

He soon realized that you weren’t really liking the conversation, your eyes widening after he spoke, slowly returning the comment to him

He whisked over there, honestly just plopping himself in between the two of you, in the (little) empty space

“I, uh, got the food,” He waved it in the air a bit, not spilling it. “You still hungry, babe?”

“Thank you Kaoru, you’re so kind,” You grinned, kissing him on the lips, his cheeks beating up.

“Mhm, let’s go eat somewhere else, just the two of us!”

Mori 💜

Mori and you weren’t big on doing a bunch of stuff for dates

You both mostly ended up at one another’s house, lounging there, maybe a cafe, who knew

But today he kind of wanted you to watch his practice, he was a bit awkward which you noticed quickly

“Takashi, you okay?” You asked him, tapping his shoulder. “What do you want to do today?”

He wanted to straight out say ‘come watch me practice’ but also didn’t want to be inconsiderate of what you wanted to do

He shrugged his shoulders, cracking his knuckles a bit, hoping you got the sign...?

“You know, I haven’t seen you practiced yet, that could be fun!”

He was beaming inside

So it was set, the two of you planning to meet up at the place he practiced at

It was something nice to do, he worked on his moves for a while, you starting some homework but still watching

One of his partners he worked on some of the skills with sat near you

“Hey, what are you working on?” You two chatted a little, trying to be kind, but you knew he was just trying to speed up the small talk into something more fun, for him

“Anyways, I need to focus,” You told him, standing up and getting prepared to move to a different space

“I think you should take a break, what do you say?”

“I can’t, I have a test tomorrow, need to get this done,”

“Don’t be like that, i’ll help you study after our break,” He was slowly/quickly closing the distance between you two

Mori just finished throwing a man, going to have a drink of water and see how you’re doing, but seeing that ‘opponent’ of his flirting with you?

“Y/n,” He walked up, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I’m done here, let’s go,”

You nodded, the man across from you shaken up a bit at the stare Mori sent afterwards

Honey 💛

Honey was babbling about a new cafe that popped up, very VERY excited about it

Apparently it was cute, had a nice seating area, and the BEST cake in town

So, of course, he had to decide that himself

(I think he secretly has a blog online dedicated to trying and critiquing cakes)

He thought this would be a perfect time to catch up and share the lovely moment with

You agreed, wanting to spend time with the boy you liked so much, always enjoying sharing treats with him

After school you both headed right there

The place was nice, and a little packed, since it did just open

You both found a little booth in the back, away from the crowd a bit

Honey ordered, almost, one of every cake they sold

“I’ll just try one of his,” You told the waitress, who looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head due to Honey’s order

“If you want Y/n-chan!” He smiled at you, soon going into a ramble about one place he bought a bad cake at

Usa-chan also wasn’t pleased with the taste of it

Once a few of the pieces came, he gave you Usa-chan to hold, to make sure he didn’t get dirty

You spent the time, watching him eat cake, feeding him cake, eating some yourself, and chatting about the Host Club

He eventually had to go to the bathroom, telling you he would be right back and to watch Usa-chan

While he left another man came up, figuring you were by yourself

“Aren’t these a lot of treats for you?” He asked, secretly judging you

“I’m sure it’s not your place to decide what’s enough for me,” You scoffed, looking the other way

“And you have a stuffed bear? So cute. Let me buy you something else, for a little kid like you,” He placed some money on the table, trying to reach for Usa-chan

major pedo vibes ....

You moved away from him, not letting his dirty hands touch your boyfriends precious bunny

“Aw come on now,”

“Y/n-chan, let’s go now!” Honey walked over, you climbing out the empty way of the booth, standing near Honey

“Aw you’re here with your brother,” The man cooed, standing up himself.

You grabbed Honey’s hand, not wanting to interact any longer with the man, and leaving the cafe

“Sorry Honey, I- I just really don’t-”

There the man was, he followed the both of you out

He was moving to touch/grab you from behind, Honey quickly noticing and pushing you out of the way a bit

Pulling a classic move, the older man was on the ground

The surrounding crowds were in awe, you were still a bit surprised from his strength sometimes

“That’s not nice, please don’t touch Y/n-chan or I’ll have to call the cops!” He smiled at him, soon grabbing your hand and the two of you walking away like nothing happened

[your-eternal-muse]

Kinda Wish She Were Dead

Heather Series Part 8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Bonus! Readers Card Confession Series Playlist 

Summery: During a night out on the town with the girls, Reader see’s something she wasn’t supposed to.

Words: 3.7k (my longest yet!)

Warnings: Swearing, a few sexual innuendos, Cheating, Mentions of Alcohol, and a fabulous right hook.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Heather Carmichael, Spencer Reid x eventual Female!Reader 

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one....turn it up! Also, the song that inspired this chapter. For the meaning of the song, not that fucking boat scene.

~~~~

It’s hot.

Like “laying naked in the middle of your apartment with the air cranked and every fan blowing on you” hot.

I’m one of the lucky ones.

My old apartment was renovated to include central air a few years before I moved in.

Still, the humidity was smothering.

So why was I putting a full face of makeup on, knowing damn well I’m gonna sweat it off before the end of the night?

Because why the hell not?

It’s the first time I’ve made plans with the girls in months, and I deserve to feel pretty, even if only for an hour or two.

My therapist tells me I’m making progress.

And it finally feels like I am.

I don’t hate the day before it even starts when I wake up.

I hardly close my curtains anymore.

I’d like to say that with her help, everything went back to normal.

I go to work and come home. I hang out with my friends, water my potted plants. Talk to Spencer like I never confessed my love for him.

But it didn’t.

I haven’t really spoken to Spencer since the day I left.

I’ve wanted to.

I’ve wanted to tell him that I’m here. I’m still here. That I’m always going to be here.

That I care about him more than probably life itself.

Ever since I came back, we’ve had to work together, and we’ve had a few small conversations, but nothing like what we used to have.

I crave those conversations.

How we would bounce back and forth from idea to idea, topic to topic without so much as breaking a sweat.

The late night conversations about the probability of aliens, and life on the opposite side of the universe.

I crave him, and the intimacy he brought.

Lately though, he’s been coming to work with a sullen look on his face.

He shows up earlier, and stays later, drowning himself in his paperwork.

When her calls interrupt a caseload, he no longer eagerly picks up to hear what she has to say.

All I want to do is walk over and ask him how he’s doing. How the married life is treating him. If there’s anything I can do to help lift his spirits.

But I can’t.

I’d be overstepping a boundary I didn’t even know I created that night out on the balcony.

Knocking on my door snaps me out of my daze, and I quickly cap my lipstick, making my way towards my front door where my night stands, waiting.

JJ, Emily, and Penelope are waiting, big smiles and laughter bubbling from their lips.

I let the smile spread across my face.

“I just need to grab my shoes and then I’ll be ready.” I usher them into my hallway, running back to my bedroom to grab the pair of heels resting by my closet.

I sit on my bed, slipping them on with ease and grabbing my bag on my way out.

They all ooh and ahh when I step into the light of my kitchen, and JJ grabs my hand, twirling me in place so they can get a better look at my outfit.

“I almost forgot you had party attire, y/n.” 

“God, I wish I had an ass like that. I’m older than you. That’s not fair.” Emily says, landing a playful slap against the fabric of my skirt. 

“Oh stop it, you flatter me.” Once upon a time, the attention would have made me antsy. The voice in my head would whisper that they were lying to me, that they really thought I was the ugliest thing in existence. 

That was then, and this is now. Now the confidence shines off of me like a spotlight.

“You deserve to be flattered, you beautiful goddess you.” Penelope says, her hands waving in the air.

I take a look in the new mirror that hangs in my hallway, and I can’t help but agree. The tight black skirt accentuates my curves, the low cut golden crop top that sticks to me like another skin puts the girls on display, and my heels give me legs for days.

I look damn good.

“Okay okay okay, pre-game selfie!” Penelope grabs her phone and holds up in front of her while we gather around. 

She snaps the picture and within a few quick taps, a buzzing emits from my bag. 

I dig my phone out, seeing the picture pop up in my notifications. 

JJ has her arms wrapped around me, and I’m pressed to Penelope's side. Emily stands over us, one hand on JJ’s shoulder, the other on Penelopes. 

I don’t think I could fake a smile like the one on my face even if I wanted to. 

I save it to my phone.

~~~

If I thought being in my house, alone, with air conditioning was bad, then I shouldn't have even bothered coming out.

The bar, albeit small, was packed. 

Even if there was a breeze, or any airflow at all, the combined body heat of the crowd would have swallowed it up.

I couldn’t really bring it in me to care all that much, though.

The dim lights and heat left my skin with a sexy shine, bringing attention to all the right places. 

I could feel the eyes on me. 

The ones belonging to men wanting to drown their sorrows in a woman like me, one who appears vulnerable, willing to go along for the ride.

It’s been a while, since I’ve had the attention of the opposite gender, especially this very specific kind of attention.

It feels good, in a way. To be wanted so openly. But it doesn’t mean jack to me, not if it’s not the pair of eyes I’ve been desperate to catch.

I should stop thinking about him.

It’s a girls night out. I don’t have to think, or worry about anything. 

Besides, he’s probably busy doing other things. Thinking about me is the last thing on his mind.

I laugh and take a sip from the Shirley temple sitting in front of me, laughing as JJ recounts a story about will and a botched attempt at breakfast in bed.

I pick a cherry up from the fizzy drink, and bite the end off, relishing in the sweet flavor. I pop the stem in my mouth, twirling it around my tongue as I listen to the conversation, pulling it between my teeth and setting it down on the table in a knot.

“Oh my god. Did you just tie a cherry stem with your tongue?” Penelope is cheesing from the other side of the table, the bright pink straw of her margarita almost to her lips.

I laugh, holding it up for them to inspect. 

“You know what that means.” Emily says, taking a sip from her own drink, before continuing her thought. “You, my friend, can give great head.”

A blush covers my cheek, but I cock an eyebrow. “Who told you?”

The three women burst into high pitched laughter, and I see Pen pull out her phone. She holds it up to me. 

“Do it again. The internet needs to be blessed with this knowledge.”

I chuckle again, the spirit of the night enough to get me drunk off the energy. I grab another cherry from my drink, sucking the end into my mouth before popping it off, and swallowing it. 

“Alright, we have one, untied cherry stem before us.” I hold out the stem for the camera to see. “Now watch as I tie it with no hands.”  I stick out my tongue, placing it in the middle before closing my mouth. 

I rest my elbows on the table, working my tongue around the stem, forcing it into submission to do exactly what I want. 

Within 15 seconds, I pull it through my teeth, and hold up a tied cherry stem. 

“Ta-da! Magic.” I place it on the table as they clap, smiles wide and goofy from their own alcoholic concoctions. 

“She’s single people. And there’s a line forming so shoot your shot.” JJ is the one to speak to the camera, and I giggle, taking another sip. 

Penelope brings her phone down, and within a minute my phone buzzes again, this time with the notification of the video being posted. 

There are worse things to be posted on the internet about me.

“I never knew you could do that, y/n/n.” Pen says, taking a sip from her drink. 

I run a hand through my hair, shrugging. “Didn’t think I needed to put it on my resume. It’s mostly a party trick I use when I like someone. I haven’t used it in years though.”

The unspoken question lingers on the air. 

“No, I never showed Spencer. But I’m sure it’d blow his mind. The way that man applies math and logic to everything he does just solidifies the fact that I know he wouldn’t be able to do it.”

It’s been a while since I’ve joked about him openly, but it wasn’t forced. It didn’t hurt. 

It was just a natural statement.

“Have you guys noticed that something’s up with him? He seems distant lately.” JJ says, leaning in closer so she doesn’t have to talk over the crowd. 

“Okay, so it’s not just me.” I reply, playing with the straw in my drink.

“It’s gotta be something at home. I mean, he doesn’t even remotely act the way that he did when him and Heather first got together.” Emily's eyes look me up and down, reading my body language, but I’m done hiding. 

I let the building anger ripple through me.

“He seems...sad. And not like, normal Reid sad where it has to do with his mom or something, no this is like..” she stops herself from continuing the sentence.

I finish it for her. “It’s like, me, sad.”

JJ sighs. “I hate to say it, but do you think it has anything to do with Heather?”

A glass shatters across the room, and like the red sea, the crowd parts.

Everything happens in no more than a couple seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. 

Through the empty space, I see two people standing at the bar. The woman has her hands wound into the man's shirt, her body turned as she laughs at someone behind her, I’m assuming the one who dropped the glass. 

The man has his hands gripped on her hips, smiling into her hair, before she turns back around, connecting their lips in the most disgusting kiss I have had the displeasure of witnessing.

The rage builds swiftly in my stomach and it pulses from my soul outward. The world’s tint changes and I see red.

“Even if it doesn’t right now, it will.” 

When the hell did I stand up?

They stand with me, and I’m about to argue my point when Emily speaks. “You want something to record, Garcia?” She moves by me, fixing my hair, handing me her glass which holds a swig of her drink left. “Record this.” 

I take it, downing it for a little liquid luck, and start for the bar, the three of them on my heels.

I profile him as best I can in the 20 seconds it takes to get through the now reforming crowd. 

There’s a gold ring on his hand. His pants and shirt are dirty, and his boots are thick. He works in something having to do with construction, which means he’s probably done around 5 every night, and I know for a fact that it is way past that.

I walk up to them, grabbing her shoulder and pulling them apart, stepping in between them, getting face to face to him.

“Before you even think about laying a hand on me, my name is SSA Y/L/N of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the F.B.I. From the look of your clothes and the ring on your finger, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that your wife is waiting for you at home.” 

His hand instinctively falls to his back pocket.

“And since you just reached for what I’m assuming is your phone, she’s called you multiple times tonight. She knows. Now, fuck off and maybe you can salvage things with her, but believe me when I say this,” His breath smells sour. “You aren’t even half the man that she’s married to.” 

He opens his mouth to say something, looking from me, to Heather, to the three women surrounding her, keeping her from leaving, and the camera pointed directly at his face.

He looks back down to me, and huffs, stepping back and walking in the other direction.

For a moment, I stare at where he stood. 

And then a fire ignites in my stomach and it takes everything in me to not beat the girl standing behind me.

I turn, and lightning strikes behind her eyes. 

“You’re not gonna tell him.”

“Like hell I’m not!” I take a step forward, and she takes one back, bumping into Emily who has her arms crossed, and her shoulders raised. “You know, I tried so hard to give you the benefit of the doubt, Heather. You made him happy and I honestly thought you loved him, but I realize now that he deserves someone so much better than you.” 

“Oh what, someone like you?” She’s snide, her demeanor defensive and cocky at the same time. She thinks she’s gonna come out on top of this.

“You know what? Yes. Someone like me. Someone who wouldn’t even think about doing this to him, because the amount of pain that he is about to go through doesn’t even come close to the stupid fucking reward. Oh, so you slept with some douchebag because what? You’re not getting enough attention?” The words are cathartic, leaving my belly with the venom that has been brewing there for the past 2 and half years.

“I found your letter. I was right about you.”

That would have stopped me in my tracks 6 months ago. Now I don’t even flinch.

“Oh honey, it’s not a fucking secret anymore. You want to hear me say it? I love him. I am in love with Spencer fucking Reid, and the only reason that he is with you, is because I was a decent human being and could see that you made him happy, so I kept my mouth shut. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t give a flying fuck what happens now, because whatever it is, it has to be better than being with a lying, cheating bitch like you.”

“You think he’s gonna run to you? Is that what you’re hoping for? He’s not gonna believe you. And even if he did, I’d turn on the water works and make him believe it was just this one time.”

She doesn’t know she’s being filmed. 

I turn to the bartender. “Excuse me, is she a regular here?”

The bartender smirks, wiping down the wood. “Yep. She comes in at least a couple times a week with that dude you kicked to the curb. They almost always leave together.”

Heather scoffs, crossing her arms. “Again, he’ll never believe you.” 

“You sure about that hot stuff?” Penelope steps forward, shoving the camera in her face. “Smile for the camera.”

Heather's eyes go wide, before turning to me. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“I would do it for a fucking corn chip.” 

I place my hands on my hips, getting so close to her our noses almost touch. My voice is dangerously low when I speak. “Either you tell him everything or I will. And trust me. I have my ways of finding out if you did.”

I step back, wishing the daggers in my eyes could inflict actual pain, as I turn to walk away. 

I hear her shout in frustration before I feel her hands on my back, pushing me forward into the mass of people. 

A couple people unaware of the confrontation help me back up with a smile, thinking I’ve just drunkenly tripped over myself.

Emily and JJ each hold one of my arms, making sure I’m stable, while Penelope keeps filming a look of shock on her face.

A wicked smile forms on my face.

I was hoping she’d do something like that.

I turn and my fist connects with her face, a nice cracking noise satisfying the lust building in my chest, as a thin coat of blood covers my knuckles. 

Though, it’s not my blood. 

She’s holding her nose in pain as she falls to the floor, taking down a bar stool with her, and I swear I see the bartender laugh.

I grab a napkin off the bar, wiping my knuckles before throwing it on the floor by her feet. 

“C’mon girls. The night is still young.” 

I see them cover their own smiles with their hands, and Penelope starts to giggle the shock away. 

I know I should feel bad. It was unprofessional of me. 

But she shoved me first. 

It is, legally, self-defense. 

Is it sick that I wish she would have punched me?

It doesn’t matter anyway. I know she won’t press charges. She’s smart enough to know she just dug her grave.

And now she has to lie in it.

~~~~

The atmosphere is different when I walk into the office the next morning. 

It’s tense. 

And one look from JJ and an inhale of air tells me why. 

Spencer’s here. 

I barely have time to set my bag down on my desk, before he grabs me suddenly by the arm, dragging me into a nearby conference room.

The anger is rolling off of him in waves, and I can see by the way he clenches and unclenches his fists, he is pissed.

He almost throws me into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“You want to tell me why the fuck you punched Heather in the face for no damn reason?”

Stupid, stupid girl. 

Did she not think, that the way I would find out, would be from Spencer himself?

I can’t help but shake my head and laugh. “She didn’t tell you.”

“She told me that she was having a drink with a girlfriend of hers when you came up drunk, yelling at her, until you just punched her. Can you explain that to me?”

He’s finally yelling at me. After months of begging for him to yell at me, he finally is. 

It doesn’t feel as good as I had hoped it would.

I don’t say anything, just pull out my phone to find the video that Garcia sent me.

“Are you serious right now, Y/N? Put your fucking phone down and explain to me why you broke my wife's nose!”

I sit in a chair, setting the phone on the table and sliding it towards him. I lean back and cross my hands over my stomach.

“Watch the video, Spencer.”

“Why? Why should I listen to anything you tell me?”

I lean forward, onto my elbow, annunciating every syllable. “Watch the damn video.”

He stands, and I watch as he fights with himself, before huffing in defeat, sitting in a chair and pulling my phone towards him.

He presses play.

I watch as his anger flows away with each passing second, despair taking its place. 

This is what I wasn’t looking forward to. Seeing him see it for the first time.

Watching him break. 

It wasn’t pretty.

I watch as tears form in his eyes and silently drop down his cheeks. 

He clenches his jaw as he watches her shove me, and the punch that followed. 

The room is dead quite when the video ends.

I’m the one who speaks first, my voice soft. 

“I punched her, because she had the audacity to do this. She had the audacity to hurt you, and flaunt that fact publicly.” 

I swallow, taking a breath before speaking. 

“I meant everything I said in that video, Spence.” 

He looks up at the nickname, his anger no longer directed at me.

“She hurt you, and I saw red. I didn’t think about what I was doing, and frankly, I’m glad I didn’t. I don’t regret standing up for you. I never have, and I never will.”  I clasp my hands together, forcing myself to continue. 

“I love you Spencer. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. I’m going to have to live with you finding other people and falling in love, and I promise you, I will support you in that. But not with her. Not after that. You deserve so much better than a girl who thinks she can get away with this just because she’s pretty and jealous.”

He taps a couple things on my phone, before turning the screen off and sliding it back over to me. 

He stands. 

I don’t. I continue talking as he walks over to me.

“You mean everything to me, Spence. If I know you’re happy, truly happy, then I’m satisfied. I will defend you until the end of the universe comes. You are my best friend, and I love you. And I’m sorry I was never upfront about it before, but I am now.”

I look up at him as he stands in front of me. “I’m done hiding from you.”

He’s still for a moment. 

He reaches down and grabs my hands, pulling me up before he wraps his arms around my waist and buries himself into my neck. 

I pause, but only for a moment, before wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight against me. 

I can feel the wet spots on my neck as he cries, and his hands wind themselves into the fabric of my shirt.

When was the last time he was held like this?

I don’t count the time until he loosens his grip, stepping back from me and wiping his face. 

I would hold him until the end of time if he let me.

“Thank you.” He whispers, before moving towards the door. 

He opens it and walks out, and I grab my phone, running after him.

I stop in the doorway. 

“Hey!” 

He stops and turns, and the rest of the team is watching over their files. 

My heart is pounding, and I feel out of breath.

“I don’t have a choice,” I let him remember. “But I still choose you.”

A small smile flutters across his face, before he turns and walks away.

I look down at my phone.

Spence xp

[Video]

    Sent, 9:06 a.m.

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[dreamsister81]

"This is a song called Grace...and one day I was cleaning up my room, and I was thinking that, uh, um, my usual obsession with death and dying, and there can be a point where you really don't care, because there's someone..."-intro at St. Ann's with Gods and Monsters, March 13, 1992

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"This is a song about...it's not about another dream, but it's about not feeling so bad about your own mortality when you have true love..."-intro at Sin-é, July 19/August 17, 1993

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"This is for anybody here tonight, who's ever been stepped on, who's ever been fucked with, but it doesn't matter, because somewhere, there's sombody who has the guts to really love you...no matter what you are, no matter what job you hold...this is called Grace..."-intro at the Black Cat, Washington, DC, August 13, 1994

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"Grace is an important quality. I wrote the song Grace when I had just found out that someone loved me, someone I wanted. Suddenly I was no longer afraid of death, of all the snares and confusion of my life. I've been very abused. By people around me. Especially in LA. I had so many spears in my heart of considerable weight that I carried around with me. And suddenly I looked down and realized that the spears were still there because I hadn't torn them out. And then I did. Nothing mattered anymore. Not the hands that had brought them there, not the heart that had accepted them. I think grace means so much. A grace, for example. 'God is good, we thank God for this food.' Blablabla. But you're also saying grace about a body or a parade. Grace means a lot in people. The ability to look ahead, to maintain warmth, to preserve the part that nourishes life. Or grace as in dancers. You need grace to dance. Besides, I love the name for a woman. Or a man. Yes, I would call my son Grace (joking). My children would love me forever."-Knust interview, September 13, 1994

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"It's about not fearing death or fearing any of those, you know, countless slings and arrows that you suffer sometimes on this earth because somebody loves you. You're not afraid to go, you're not adraid to withstand what you need to withstand because there's a tremendous fuel that you feel regenerating inside because of somebody else's love for you. That's what Grace is about. And just about...life, just about sometimes life being so long. At the time I was anticipating leaving Los Angeles for New York so I was waiting to go, and I'm not afraid to go, I'm not afraid to die, I'm not afraid to go away from this place or leave any place, but it just goes so slow you know? And I had somebody who loved me in New York. A lot. And it was amazing, still is. (In British accent) Love, lovely love."-interview at the Pacific Club in Antwerp, Belgium, September 21, 1994

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Regarding “Grace,” a song that is indicative of Buckley’s spiritual as well as artistic philosophy, Buckley states, “The song is about being released of the fear of being trod upon by people around you and suffering harm at the hands of others because of somebody loving you for real. You can achieve great heights of purity through somebody else’s love for you.”-Virtually Alternative Magazine no. 5, 1994

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Buckley considers "grace" to be, "the quality about people that matters. Any hardship, any pitfall, any sling or arrow in your direction that you're forced to withstand, any abuse, or any thought of even growing old, you need that quality...grace in men is especially appealing, women are very graceful, but men usually are not, and I like it when I see it in them. It also carries the meaning of having an implication, like the beginning of something or the death, saying grace."-Art+Performance, October 28, 1994

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What does grace mean to you?

Everything that the word carries. Grace is what matters in anything. Especially life, especially growth, tragedy, pain…love, death. About people. That’s what matters. That’s a quality I admire very greatly. It keeps you from reaching for the gun too quickly…it keeps you from destroying things too foolishly. And sort of keeps you alive. And it keeps you open for more understanding. You know, people say grace for dinner, 'God is great, God is good…’ eh, you know. But I see an invocation when I hear that word. And also, it’s like the sound of…

So saying the word grace, invokes a state of grace?

It could, yeah.

Say it now. Let’s see if we can...(laughs)

Hey, don’t make me say it. Don’t make me invoke a state of grace here on this room…(laughs)

But also, the song itself is just a eulogy to no one. About…I always describe it as not fearing anything, anyone, any man, any woman, any war, any gun, any sling or arrow aimed at your heart by other people because there is somebody finally who loves you, for real. And that you can achieve a real state of grace, through somebody else’s love in you, you know. And you’re totally out of fuel, and totally out of understanding…so I said it. It’s a song about my death, but not fearing it.-Much Music, October 28, 1994

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"For me, it's a quality about people that matters most. In the face of adversity, in dealing with others, in love, dealing with enemies, in dealing with death. It's something that transcends, that carries people. Also, I decided the word. But it also...it fit to me because the song is about not fearing death anymore, or even fearing torture on earth because there's finally somebody who loves you for real. And sometimes you can achieve grace through somebody else's belief in you. And grace just sort of...I don't know, if I was writing a death letter, I felt that that was a grace as well, you know, saying grace...or for the dead on earth, or for somebody who's just very broken down. And just a last act of defiance, but also a beautiful prayer. That's what it could be, so I named it Grace."-Japanese interview, November, 1994

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What does Grace mean to you?

It's not religious or mystical. It's very ordinary. That's the thing that makes people divine. That's a quality I appreciate in a person. Especially in a man because it is very rare."-L'indic, March/April, 1995

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"Grace is basically a death prayer. Not something of sorrow, but of just casting away any fear of death. No relief will come you really just have to stew in your life until it's time to go, but sometimes somebody else's faith in you can do wonders."-MTV Europe interview, 1995

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"I see many other colours of sacredness," he says. "And grace is a quality in people that I just enjoy. It's a very human quality."-Sydney Morning Herald: August 25, 1995

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Grace, the title he has given to his first record is “mostly just a quality about people that I enjoy." 

How does he recognize it?

“Ah… sort of... a transcendental soul in somebody's behaviour. Like a soul that's wise… Like somebody who doesn’t stoop to violence so quickly in the face of a problem, because they’re a little bit more potent of a soul. It’s rare,” he stresses.

Has he discovered many people with this quality?

"No!...that are purely like that? Everybody has it at one time or another, it's just like sadness, sometimes people have it, sometimes they don't, but it's something that I love, or, it's something that I need, desperately, because so much shit in your life can be so caustic, it's deadly, and you need to be steady in the way that you live, in order to have your thoughts together. Because basically, it's just fucking survival," he says, making one of his frequent cognitive leaps that leaves me half-baffled. "There's nothing else to it, so you have to be self sufficiently aware. And that's something you lose from time to time, but you have to get it back, otherwise you don't live very well. I think there's a graciousness about people, I especially like it in men, because it's totally rare."-Beat magazine, August 30, 1995

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Grace is the title of your album. What does it mean to you?

"Grace there meaning a prayer like a death prayer - not being afraid of it, sitting totally immersed in trouble and all those crappy slings and arrows that come to you in regular life, and then someone begins to love you for real, and instead of wishing for death, even thinking about it, it's not a factor at all. Death meaning relief."-Rip It Up, February 1996

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"Rise Up to Be" opened up with a cascade of notes like rain on a fretboard, then dove into a rugged melody with enough rocky crevices for a mountainside. Singing along, Jeff retitled it "Grace," inspired by the time he and Moore said their goodbyes at the airport on a rainy day. "The rain is falling and I believe my time has come/It reminds me of the pain I might leave behind," Jeff sang. With its images of a woman crying on his arm and of his contemplating mortality, the song equated love with pain, rebirth with death.-from Dream Brother

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The explanation of this Buckley lyric was just as ambiguous as that for "Mojo Pin". The most common read was that he was spelling out his sorrow at being briefly separated from Moore, but Buckley loved to mess with his audience-at various times he'd introduce "Grace" as "a song about my death, but not fearing it" and, during an early Gods and Monsters show, as "(my) usual obsession of death and dying". While playing at Sin-E he'd declare it to be "a song about not feeling so bad about your own mortality when you have true love". Buckley seemed to have even less of a clue of its true meaning at a Chicago show in 1995 when he went into the following rant before playing the song. "Shit's happening now," he said. "It's all about now, now, now. Bigger, faster, sweatier, whiter, blacker, gracer." Lucas wrote both songs as "inspirational messages" for himself and Buckley.-from A Pure Drop (of course, the context of the rant isn't mentioned, and imo the "gracer" is merely a segue 😑🙄🙈)

[dreamties]

Slashers W/ a Punk S/O

T/W- q*eer is used a few times- in a positive, self affirming kind of way. But I can add other trigger warnings if needed. :)

A/n- Literally no one asked for this, but I wanted to make more HCs like the soft pastel one...so I just went wild and made them. 

I included a little bit of punk culture into this as well, because it’s not just about the fashion, but since there’s such a vast variety within punk culture I mostly stuck with my experiences in the community, and some bits and pieces from documentaries(mostly live footage from “The Decline of Western Civilization”).

Characters: Billy/Stu, The Lost Boys, Norman Bates, Michael Myers

Will make one(s) for Brahms, Amanda, Helen or Daniel if asked

Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

so early 90s, the Riot Grrrl movement emerges

bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, Heavens to Betsy or Sleater-Kinney

it’s a very female-powered oriented movement, but I notice that a lot of minorities tend to be drawn to this music and community (LGBT folks, people of color, etc).

both boys, and yourself, being outside of the norm and all (polyamorous relationship, gay/bi) are sort of drawn to it!

and sure there’s a lot of really great queercore/homocore bands, and there’s probably a good LGBT+ punk scene out there somewhere, but in a little town like Woodsboro? Hell no. Sticking with this fem punk movement, while again mostly a space for women in music- it’s the most accepted the three of you have felt outside of you’re relationship. 

you’ve always been pretty into the music, stuff like Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, or the short-lived Germs- but it wasn’t until you stumbled upon Riot Grrrl that you really got into it. 

the music, making zines about local-ish political issues(probably not so much Woodsboro stuff, more Cali in general and neighboring towns) and a few ones with queer themes and hand-drawn illustrations of your partners, and DIYing all your clothes

since you’re so experienced with DIYing your clothes and sewing on patches, you’ve helped repair the Ghostface costumes on numerous occasions. they kind of adore this(Stu is the only one that will- and does, frequently- admit that)

Let’s face it, the three of you do everything together- but you especially enjoy when Stu tags along for thrift dates. 

he’s the more fashionable one, and he makes the whole experience more enjoyable- cracking jokes and just being his all-around goofy self.

Woodsboro is a very little town, so they don’t have much...but they do have a few small stores- usually you’ll make a whole day/date out of it though. driving to the next town or so over, since they have more stores and a better selection, and spending hours looking for cheap, old t-shirts, belts, clothes with funky patterns. heading out for pizza after.

Billy’s more likely to get into the music and everything with you(he’s kinda,, angsty, no offense to him)- will definitely go to shows with you.

just- imagine Billy in ripped jeans. and he’d have like one or two patches sewn on to it- one of them is your all time favorite band, and the other is a band that he found on his own time, and actually really enjoyed.

Stu is dragged along with you guys, you can’t just leave him at home- he’s gonna feel left out and sad. :(

He’s mostly there to keep y’all company- he really likes the energy of the shows though!

the two of them are such a chaotic duo though, so much so that you have definitely been kicked out or banned from a few venues. all for varying reasons. good grief these men can not be tamed.

The Lost Boys

as we all know, these vampires are total punks. so they’re gonna appreciate having a s/o who’s also into that whole scene.

How you meet:

you’re a baby punk, and it’s your first show ever, and you look so nervous. you’re dressed up in pretty plain clothes, a single homemade patch for your favorite band barely hanging to your jacket side(you were mid-way sewing it, when you realized you were gonna be late if you didn’t leave asap).

it’s a few local bands, ones you’d never really heard of really. you look anxious. but when they start playing? you look so unapologetically yourself, you’re so in the moment dancing- it’s completely mesmerizing to the boys. the music isn’t even that good, but you seem to be having the time of your life.

they greet you after the show, and you’re a tiny bit flustered- cause gosh, heck, they saw you. dancing. so embarrassing. 

David is the one that introduces himself and the group, and initiates conversation. Dwayne’s a pretty quiet guy, so he just listens to what you have to say. 

Marko’s pretty excited about you, and initiates in some small conversation, he may have complimented your little patch(Marko- patch jacket KING, complimenting your jacket?? more likely than you’d think) 

and oh, oh- Paul is out there being a total chatty-cathy, and is absolutely bombarding you with questions. like, okay, Paul is pretty talkative, but the other vamps are a little worried that he’s scared you off. and you had seemed so cool :(

you end up pretty engaged in your convo with Paul though, even if all the attention is overwhelming. He ends up snagging a date for the five of you the following week.

once you start hanging out/dating:

y’all just hit it off so well those first few days. they all love how sweet & shy you are- but also how much of a badass punk babe you are.

Marko helps make your patch jacket(collecting ones for bands you enjoy, how to make your own, sewing them on, etc). you probably could have done it w/out his help, but my gosh- you weren’t going to pass up this opportunity. Marko gets really soft around you sometimes, since he doesn’t really do this activity with anyone else, it’s saved for you. 🥺🥺

Dwayne likes listening to you talking about the local scene(outside of the shows you go to- mostly about stuff he can’t attend, protests and meetings during the daylight.)

all of them(especially David) are very protective of you. I mean, generally. but also when you go to shows. they let you do whatever the heck you’re gonna do, but the mere second that someone even thinks about starting shit w/ you?? well, y’know. those vampire instincts kick in.

the four of them obviously share a lot of similar tastes in music- but they all have different favorite bands, & fave parts of the community. which, they can’t even fully participate in,, but it’s okay.

they, individually, introduce their favorite bands to you. and they get it in their head that oh, they said they liked it. they must like it as much as I do. and awkwardly coming out to the four of them, as they argue about your favorite band, “Well, actually- this *insert band they’ve never heard of or barely listen to* is my favorite.” and their just kinda like, oh, okay. please tell us more about them. 

so it’s sorta like,, you’ve been learning all this cool knowledge from them, now you get to share cool knowledge with them.

idk. I think it’s cute. 💕

Norman Bates

so first off- let’s just pretend Psycho was in at least the 70s/80s for a moment. because realistically- the punk subculture didn’t really exist back then.

baby boy is absolutely fascinated by the way you dress (mother is less thrilled though)

imagine your jacket is getting a bit weathered, and needs some repairs- so he helps you to sew edges closed, and make sure the patches aren’t on too loose, etc

he enjoys hearing your stories of all the past shows you’ve gone to. you always get so excited about them, and he finds that so endearing. But he pretty much leaves the actual punk scene to you because of these stories.

he was already worried from the stories, and made sure you were well prepared for any trouble every time you left for a show.

but one time, you were able to get him to join you. never again though. he was so nervous!

the music was too loud! and he could hardly understand what they were saying- it was so confusing!

you stayed with him most of the night, standing near the back, holding his hand. he’d gently bob his head to the music occasionally. 

but you accidentally found yourself swept into the crowd, but you looked so blissed-out in the moment, that he figured it would be okay for you to dance* over there for a little bit...right?  

*Norman is still unsure if you’d even call that dancing.

Thankfully, nothing bad happened in the mosh pit.

you gotta give him lots of attention and reassurance afterwards though- you almost scared Norman half to death D:

He’s happy enough helping you out and listening to you though- and that’s okay for you, too. you still love each other lots, even if this particular interest doesn’t overlap.

Michael Myers

he thinks you’re outfits are pretty interesting. 

he’s a little worried at first, when you start experimenting with putting things like safety pins in your ears. cause like- that’s not supposed to be in your ear, Y/n, what the fuck

if you make zines at all, Michael really enjoys watching you make the illustrations for them(not that he’ll admit to it though), and helps to find newspaper and magazine clippings to incorporate into the spreads.

you always show michael the final booklet before distributing it

he doesn’t talk a lot, so he doesn’t ask questions- but he often does the little head tilt once you give it to him. since he’s not very privy to current events, and a lot of your zines are political, you spend a lot of time explaining them in depth.

he has no use for any of this knowledge, but he listens on, intently.

Important note:

dear god do not bring this man to concerts and local shows with you.

it is a nightmare, to say the least

Michael is sort of,, emotionless sometimes, doesn’t really care for people at all, and if he does? definitely not in the same way most people do. 

so imagine combining that part of michael, the fact that he’s also a giant stabby man, with super loud, energetic- almost aggressive- sounding music and a bunch of strangers that aren’t respecting any personal boundaries. 

you need to keep him at the back of the venue- lest your local scene may go missing.

[loominggaia]

Fan Creation: Nekos

Anonymous asked:

Okay I have put way, way to much thought into the cat girl monsters recently so here’s the results overthinking my joke post. The Neko is lv.3 humanoid monster created by the late zareenite ceo, Nelon Husk. While not a divine himself he is credited for having forged them, commissioning their creation by business partner/ co-owner of their company and a dworf divine, Mr. Hosfeild. The Neko where created out of Husk lust, him being a big hentia fan with a huge cat girl fetish.

Dissatisfied with normal women he sought to bring his porno fantasies to life. Husk was aware of the creation of demons and scoffed at ermos’s story, believing him to be a fool who didn’t create his monsters right. Believing himself smarter then a pathetic satyr, Husk found commissioned a divine, Mr. Hosfeild into creating his wanted cat girls. If they met his high standards Husk would make him a co-owner and business partner, he obviously accepted the challenge.

Mr. Hosfeild was no stranger to business and saw the young, mortal human as a lustful fool, but went along with it his scheme if he was that generous. What Mr.Hosfeild was unfamiliar with however was monster forging, given a lab and whatever resources he asked for by Husk he set to work creating the perfect cat girl by his clients strict list of criteria. On that list was that while they where to be lustful their satisfaction was not to be based entirely on sex.

In that stead he made their satisfaction more material based. After afew trial runs and failures eventually Mr.Hosfeild created a cat women who met all Husk standards and actually exceeded them. Thirty more “Neko’s” as they where named where created to fill out Husk harem and Mr.Hosfeild enjoyed his newfound position as co-owner. At first things seemed to going very well for husk and his feline harem, him enjoying fulfilling all his perverted and spoiling his Neko harem rotten.

He lavished his cat girl harem with gifts, positions in the company and whatever they wanted, whenever they asked. Knowing their loyalty was based off material satisfaction Husk thought that would be no problem seeing his great fortune. Things however would not stay this great for very long as many problems would soon arise. The more he spoiled his cat wives the more greedy they got, their demands got more frequent and more expensive.

They had also rapidly increased in number, going from the 31 originals to now well over 330 in less then five years. This was fixable according to him, as with how successful they where he and Hosfeild where taking about a new business idea to start selling these feminine feline monsters to consumers. He would never get to see this however as the company which had been in Husk family for generations was starting to tank due to his harem and neglect.

As his harem grew more demanding he started having to spend more time attempted to their desires then to his responsibilities as CEO. More and more money was being funneled to feed their ever expanding desires then to other more vital aspects, which alongside some of the Nekos taking to harassing employees caused many to quit. Firing and replacing a lot of chief personal with his Neko wives was not a smart idea either. At this point the Hosfeild became the only thing keeping the company alive.

Not only was his business life suffering but his personal life to. His neko wives where growing restless as his ability to satisfy them began to wane. Their loyalty and affection towards him began to decay, them growing violent when he couldn’t get them what they wanted fast enough. Clawing and biting him, tearing up his belongings and mansion and even stealing money directly from his personal and company accounts.

Eventually husk snapped, realizing his dream had become a nightmare. He blamed Hosfeild for his current predicament and fired him on the spot, believing he somehow programmed the Nekos to turn into these greedy monsters behind his back. Hosfeild denying such accusations and told him it’s entirely his fault he’s in this predicament, he’s the one that wanted and army cat women after all. After removing Hosfeild Husk sought to get rid of the cat girls so they would no longer plauge him.

Telling his harem to leave was of the table as they laughed him out of the room when he tried. Being more creative Husk used his rapidly dwindling funds to hire a small militia group to completely exterminate the Nekos. His plan was to lure his harem into a inescapable trap where the militia will ambush open fire on them, hopefully killing them all. All seemed to be going as planned but before it could be enacted someone in the militia group snitched to his harem about the death trap.

Enraged the whole hoard of Nekos turned on Husk, everyone descending onto him to rip him apart before fleeing. Weeks later authorities found him, or Atleast what was left of him. All they found was the mansion completely torn apart, claw marks everywhere with furniture, art, lighting everything in the house completely destroyed. They found the pieces of Nelon Husk body scattered all around the trashed mansion, looking as if he’s been torn apart and eaten by wild cats.

By that point the killer cat girls had long since fled, taking to the streets of zareen in search of new masters to spoil them. After his death Mr.Hosfeild bought and quickly restored the company back to a working state. In truth he had known something like this might happen and though it served that fool right. Mr.Hosfeild kept remembered the designer monster idea he and the late husk had and decided to run with it, the Neko thing being only a minor setback.

Biding his time and gathering reassures, infrastructure and patents to create designer monsters for consumer production and pleasure. Hopefully of a less perverted kind. That conclude the origin story of the Nekos, and what was originally just a joke post. BYW expect Chptr 11 of New York to be coming really soon.

As for Neko biology they look like a cross between a human women and a house cat in a similar orientation to faunae. Neko may actually be mistaken for faunae but lack horns and look more like house cats then wild cats. They range greatly in skin and fur colors and body shapes but all are beautiful in appearance. They keep their youthful appearance all throughout their short life. Their lifespan is similar to a cats, becoming adults by three years old and live about 16-20yrs.

Despite their beauty and grace they are rather dangerous having the strength, agility, senses and razor sharp claws and fangs of big cats. They also have a lot of feline behaviors such as scent marking, licking themselves to clean, pooping in dirt, climbing into high places and so on. Their general attitude is described as aloof, selfish and finicky, switching moods at seemingly the drop of a hat. One minute their affectionate and the next their claws and hissing for no reason.

Nekos are very similar to demons and are often compared to them. Both have a similar origin story and are rather lustful, being lusty and affectionate of a chosen master and turn violent of said master is unable to satisfy them. While a demons loyalty is bought by sexual satisfaction, a Nekos loyalty is bought by material satisfaction. Nekos are an all female species and where made to require human men to reproduce. Unlike demons who go after lonely, pathetic people Nekos target the wealthy.

While male humans are preferred, they will target anyone of suitable wealth. Once they find a prime mate or “master” they will proposition them into a sugerbaby type arrangement where they provide sex in return for being pampered. If they say no then the Neko will leave but if they say yes then they become their master. Despite the known risk many rich folk accept becoming a Nekos master, finding their exotic beauty irresistible (the mating pheromones Neko’s secrete defintionly helps in this).

Once a person has chosen to become a Nekos master they will be lavished in affection and sex by the Neko in return for pampering her. For as long as the master can continue to meet his feline mistress’s demands she will stay loyal to him. If they fail to meet her demands that’s when the problems start, Nekos are much like the humans and house cats that make them, their never satisfied with what they have and get greedier the more their pampered.

The longer a Neko is pampered the more demanding they become. Their request become more extreme and become violent when their demands are not met or are below their standards. Their known to claw at and bite their masters, leaving them with nasty wounds. Their rage is not limited to their master but also towards their family and belongings as well, stealing valuables and destroying furniture to make their point known or even attacking the masters family.

If the Nekos demands continue to not be met their tantrums get more frequent and violent. Until eventually they either leave on their own or outright attack their master, their being many cases of Nekos mauling their masters to death in their greed fueled tantrums. Like Demons are their are Nekos who don’t mean harm but struggle to control their desires.

Their range is mostly limited to Evik, with high concentrations found in Zareen. These monsters are generally considered pest with many public psa’s warning people to not get involved with them.

Anon, I love this. I know it’s supposed to be a bit of a shitpost, but it’s honestly great. It has so many elements of classic folklore but with a silly urban twist. As soon as I saw the name Nelon Husk I thought “Oh, this is gonna be good” lmao

The sad thing is, I could totally see some wackjob Zareenite CEO doing something like this...I think realistically, the Zareenite military would have exterminated these things before they got out of control, but who knows. Anything can happen, especially when rich people are involved and bribing everyone in sight.

[dreamerwitches]

Manga reviews!

I’ve read quite a few of the Madoka Magica manga, mostly to find witches.... So I thought I’d do a little review of the ones I’ve read! Enjoy! (also, they’re my own opinions and it’s meant to be a little funny so I exaggerate a little... so please don’t get angry!! Also kinda spoiler-y)

Madoka Magica (og manga)

Just a really compressed version of the anime. Has some changes but not often good... I only have the first one in physical and I think it’s the only one I’ll get cause it’s the most interesting part. 0/10 cause they completely removed Gisela... Also not too fond of the art style, some things are drawn really badly.. Though I’ve fallen in love with manga Gertrud. Not too fond of it but I like having the manga on my shelf. 4/10 watch the anime instead

Madoka Magica Rebellion

Will be biased cause I love rebellion. A really lovely manga, better than the og manga cause it doesn’t compress the story and even expands it. Suits three volumes better than the original. Treats familiars really well, we get bonus bartels, dora and polina~~! Doesn’t have all the fun of the movie cause it obviously doesn’t have the amazing soundtrack but it’s a really nice manga anyway. Bebe is drawn really well but the Clara Dolls aren’t. 9/10 almost as good as the movie

Kazumi Magica

Plot: seven magical girls trying to do good stuff and Kazumi, the protag, has amnesia I was surprised how much I loved this manga... I enjoyed it so much and got attached to almost all the characters. Though, spoilers, all my favourites either died or turned out to be evil... Lots of plot twists. LOTS. A wonderful lack of kyubey too... I found the story to be so intriguing. It took a spin on the original series far better than - imo - Oriko did. Really ace witches too. Only downside was sometimes the art. Too many ass shots thanks. Also a lot of the magi outfits were a tad distasteful (and some distasteful jokes too). 8/10 pretty darn good

Oriko Magica

Plot: two girls want to kill Madoka cause they know about Homu’s shenanigans. Has a pretty out there story, gets quite serious at the end. First time reading I didn’t care about it but I’ve grown fond of some of the main characters like Oriko, Kirika and Yuma. I found Kirika annoying and op first time reading. The addition of the original Madoka characters feels weird even though they are in the same universe. Original characters are also sometimes unrecognisable because of the art style. I almost never recognised Kyoko... The bonus stories are really fun, I liked them a lot. They’re short but nice. New and interesting witches too! I probably preferred Extra and Sadness prayer to the original story (Sadness prayer is like, basically a retelling of the og Oriko story but better) 6/10 for main story (feels a bit like babies first fanfic), side stories are probably a 7/10 (writer probs had more experience)

The Different Story

Plot: Mami and Kyoko backstory plus a spin on the original story. A really fun and interesting read, especially if you like Mami or Kyoko a lot. I loved the expansion of the original characters, it’s really great. I got a bit lost at the end but I was kinda scanning through... Art is by the same artist as the original manga but it’s certainly improved. Really amazing witches too~! Read it again when I got volume 1 for Chrimbo and its far sadder than I remembered... hm. Lovely art though, and very powerful scenes 7 or 8/10. I’d need to read it in full again to give a better judgement

Suzune Magica

Plot: Very edgy, lots of die. Never got attached to Suzune like I did with the Oriko characters. Some costume designs are also gross and pervy. Didn’t find it memorable and didn’t care much about the characters. Nice witches though. 3/10

Haven’t read Tart magica and don’t have any opinions on it yet. Hate the artist so I don’t think I will ever read it. (witches also look like afterthoughts... boooo)

Wraith Arc

Gave it a scan aaannndd.... didn’t enjoy it...... found it so boring. Wraiths are so boring as the enemy. Bland and have no character or inu curry flair. I feel you’d really enjoy it if you adored Homura and Madoka. I don’t so... I don’t think my opinion would be justified for this one.

Homura’s Revenge

Plot: Homura, Madoka and Kyubey go back in time before Madoka turns God. I. HATED. This one. Sigh.. It was the most frustrating manga I’ve ever read. Kyubey just gets in the way and not in a funny or clever way. Kills off Mami too early too. The witch designs are also crap like the artist don’t care about them. Illustrated by the same artist as Tart Magica and they’re a creep so it’s an automatic ‘euch’. Homura just resets in the end anyway. Just like Wraith Arc, I feel you’d like it more if you really liked Homura and Madoka 1/10 I liked the part with Elly and that’s it

The Veranda of Madoka

Plot: All five girls are living in the same house as sisters. Spoilers, this is my favourite manga... it’s so so cute and lovely! It’s a 4Koma (four square panels for a joke/story but sometimes has longer stories) manga with cute humour and fun stories. You really care about the girls and want them to be happy together. I’ve only read volume 1 cause it’s the only one translated but I really wanna read the rest cause it seems to add Nagisa. Only downsides are it has some tasteless jokes like breast sizes and Homura’s sometimes kinda pervy towards Madoka (remember, they are sisters in this one) but those things are rare in the long run. Has lesbian Hitomi which increases the score tenfold. The art style is also adorable, I prefer it to PAPA’s current style honestly. 9.5/10 would be 10 if it didn’t have some questionable jokes sometimes

Mitakihara Anti Materials

Plot: Homura accidentally winds up living with Mami. I thought I was gonna hate this one. Turns out I love this one. If you ship Homura and Mami, it’s the best, but it also works well for a platonic friendship. It’s a lovely slice of life with lots of fluffy bits with Homu and Mami but also the other girls. Sayaka also for some reason has the super hots for Mami (I mean, who wouldn’t). Sadly, has some tasteless jokes like Veranda which bring it down. Taking pictures of people against their will and body-swapping, I just wasn’t into it... Art is pretty generic but works just fine. 8/10

Mami Tomoe’s everyday life

Plot: The girls are older. Excuse me while I vomit. Read a few pages and quickly ran. CLEARLY written by a perverted old man. The girls are all married and only talk about husbands and their weight and things men think women talk about. Also. Homura is married to Tatsuya, excuse me while I hurl again. Just look at the covers and you can tell the artist is a porn artist. -10/10 kill it

Welcome to Cafe Grief Seed

Plot: The girls work at a cake cafe. I um, love this one, it’s so soft and wonderful. The art style is so adorable, I’ve shamelessly stolen it for some of my art cause I love it that much. It’s a sweet mix of Sailor Moon and Ghibli. The pages are laid out like 4Koma but like Veranda, they often have longer stories. The take on the witches are really fun and imaginative too (they’re simply problematic customers). A really nice and harmless read (no pervy jokes, thanks). 9/10 wish it was longer and the artist seems to have not done anything else...

Pomu Magi

Plot: Homura is tiny and chibi for some reason. Reeeaalllyy didn’t gel with this one. Seems kinda like someone’s fetish... Just felt weird, I stopped reading quickly. Not disgusting like Everyday Life but made me feel uncomfortable. 0/10

Mahou Shoujobu

Plot: the girls make a magical girl club in a school shared with witches. Although it apparently involved witches it barely included them. LIES. Disappointed, Homura was also really weird too. 1/10 got to see witches but they weren’t portrayed well

Homura Tamura

Plot: take a look at lots of different timelines. I liked this one but damn it was all over the place. Every chapter is a different wacky timeline, and I mean wacky. A world where Mami rules and everyone wears hair drills, a world where Sayaka drives an Oktavia mech. Wacky. Kinda hard to follow first time through. But funny and quite charming. Made me laugh out loud sometimes. On a re-read for images I enjoyed it just as much as the first time, even more. 8/10 good if you like humour and silly jokes

[lmanberg]

i get where the ebblr critical anon is coming from, but like you said, there's no where else in the fandom that you can actually be critical about ranboo without getting bashed to hell and back, we focus on those negative traits here because we can, same goes for tubbo but viceversa, twitter does not hold back when talking shit about him and the only people who wholeheartedly support him in everything are the ones from his subtwt, that's also why everyone was so excited over the polls because we're all used to ranboo and tommy getting all the love in the main fandom that it surprised us that it was more equal here

we might seem nitpicky but that's cause we are, ranboo is a great kid, the negative things we talk about are mostly to do with his fans and how he's still in small creator headspace, than with him, so ofc they're gonna sound like a stretch because other than those things he's doing a great job, and most of our criticism is constructive too, we don't think he's a bad person or someone who is mean to his friends on purpose, everybody has been rude to their friends even by accident including Ranboo and tubbo, either way it's just details we notice and point out because of tubbo's reaction to them, but like everything else, as a fan you don't know everything, just what they show us

as for the hetboo stuff, from what i've seen, it's a joke? i'm almost positive that nobody here that makes those comments actually believes it anymore, it's more of a running joke now that has kinda gotten old and died down except for some anon/lurkers that are still new to us snd take it seriously, but overall we're still learning to balance our unintentional bias especially now that we've grown more :]

it's nice to get some feedback though to look at what we do or say and how it can come off because we are here to support both of the guys after all, in whatever they have going on as well as them as individuals, and it is sad to notice how sometimes it might look like we don't give ranboo as much love as we give tubbo ;-;

btw i used a lot of 'we' here but that's because i see how the other blogs treat these issues too and it's a general agreement i think, but all these words are mine and i won't speak for anybody else ofc it's just easier to write rambles like that than to write 'me' and 'i' all the way lol

Just too add because I forgot I said this until an anon brought it up, but the hetboo stuff isn’t he is attracted to women/he isn’t. We’re all confident he likes women. It’s more he is attracted to men/he isn’t. So when he is he’s bi/panboo, when he isn’t he’s hetboo. Yes the joke is old but I don’t think it’s anything to be too concerned about :)

[driversmutbucket]

Kitten Part VII

Kylo AU x Reader

Here we go againnnnnn. Im not sure how the hell this fic has become so long. It’s going to start wrapping up in the next part. Enjoy friends!

Warnings: NSFW, oral sex, dom/sub dynamic, daddy kink, praise kink Tag list: @reyloaddict55​ @candycanes19​ @jediminddicks1000​ @finn-ray-nal-beads​ @maybe-your-left​ @thegreenmatt​ @morby​ @sydneyssmut​ @contesa-lui-alucard

To start this fic from the beginning, please refer to my masterpost. 

The week slipped by.

Your dress from Kylo arrived at work on Friday morning, no chance to back out of wearing it.

You took the garment bag and an additional box into your office and shut the door. 

You hung the garment bag on the back of the door. Too nervous to open it just yet. You had enough information to trust his taste, he had your sizing, but part of you was still nervous you would be faced with a dress 2 sizes too small that resembled a wench costume.

Exhaling through your mouth slowly you opened the box. 

You frowned. There were 2 separate parcels. Black tissue paper - of course. You almost rolled your eyes.

You removed the first parcel. Definitely a shoe box. You gasped when you removed the paper and opened the box. 

“Fucking hell Kylo.” You muttered. .

You had watched enough Sex and the City and read enough Vogue to recognize the unmistakable embellishment. Black Manolos. 

You stroked the shoe in wonder, marveling at the craftsmanship. 

You repeat your deep yoga breaths, trying not to panic. This was a lot. Extravagant. You knew damn well how much shoes like this cost. You purchased luxury goods from time to time, usually feeling nauseous after the transaction.

You moved to the next parcel, removing it from the box carefully.

Teasing open the tissue paper you broke into a grin. Black lace. A tiny scrap of a thong and a strapless bustier. You grazed your fingers across the fabric, it was beautiful, the bustier was mostly sheer, the boning visible. 

You were seeing the vision, and you were in support of it, chewing your lip as you imagined yourself in just the lingerie and heels. Imagining the look on his face when he saw you in your gifts. 

“Ok, let's do this.” You murmured to yourself, walking over to stand in front of the garment bag. 

Another deep breath. You slowly unzipped the bag. The first thing you saw was the label. You were going to kill him. This was too much. 

Alexander McQueen, fucking McQueen! You knew it was going to be perfect before you even had the whole bag open.

The neckline was an elegant sweetheart cut. The hourglass silhouette, midi length and black fabric exuded understated elegance. You turned the dress to find a back slit at the hem. 

You held it, staring in awe. It was beyond anything you could have expected. 

You hung it back up gingerly.

You sat at your desk feeling dazed. Overwhelmed by the generosity, unsure what it meant? Just- everything. 

-

You had agreed to meet at Kylo’s prior. 

You felt amazing, the dress fit like a glove. You had never worn anything so beautifully made. Everything you liked about your body was accentuated. The bustier clinched in your waist and pushed up your breasts just enough; you had stared at yourself in the mirror in slight amazement. 

And! the! shoes! So comfortable for a pair of heels, so much so that the price suddenly seemed reasonable. 

In a last minute panic you had had your hair and makeup done. You’d be damned if your cosmetic skills were going to let the team down. 

Your stomach flip flopped as you rode the elevator to Kylo’s floor, nervous excitement coursing through your body. 

You knocked on his front door and waited. 

The door opened. Your jaw went slack as you took in the glory that was Kylo in a tux.

“Wow.” You breathed, walking in the door. 

He was frozen in place, slowly taking you in.

He met your gaze, “Y/n, you look—..fuck you look amazing—...beautiful.” 

“I- this” you motioned at your dress and shoes, “this is too much-...what I mean is, thank you, it’s so generous, but-... fuck Kylo, Manolo’s? McQueen? I just about passed out when I op-”

He cut off your babbling by stepping forward and grabbing the back of your neck, greeting your lips with a bruising kiss.

“So you like them then?” He smiled, against your mouth. 

“I love them. I—” he again swallowed your words, his kiss slow and passionate.

He traced along your collarbone with his fingers, “should have got you a necklace.” He mused, breaking the kiss.

“No…” you shook your head, sighing as his soft lips kissed down your neck. 

“Stop being so oppositional.” He murmured, lips still planting delicate kisses on your décolletage.

You huffed. He stood up to full height, eyes twinkling. 

“Accept it, Kitten. I’m going to spoil you. I want to.”

You sighed, fingering the lapels of his tux, “it makes me a bit uncomfortable” you grumbled, “so much money…”

“I don’t have anything else to spend my money on.” He said softly. You felt a twinge of sadness. “Do you want to know why I got you that dress?”

“Mmmm why?” 

“The collection was inspired by art nouveau which you said you loved. Remember, you showed me that work by Klimt?  Also I knew you would look incredible in it.” 

You look up at him, right into the dark amber of his eyes. You were moved.

“Are you serious?” You murmured in wonder.

He nodded, eyes crinkling with a smile, notably chuffed at your reaction.

“Kylo… this is, wow—...I’m really touched. I have only known you what? 8 or 9 months and this is the most thoughtful gift I have ever….” you trailed off. Feeling a wave of emotion that made you choke up.

“Oh, Kitten, I didn't mean to upset you.” He soothed, pulling you into his chest, it felt so safe there, engulfed by his arms.

“It’s a good upset.” You sniffed, pressing your face to his chest. 

“Oh shit! Fuck!” You pulled away, “fucking makeup, You inspected his shirt and tuxedo jacket, relieved to find no traces of foundation.

Kylo looked at you amused. “I wouldn’t have been totally upset if we couldn’t go because my shirt got stained.”

“Behave.” You grinned giving him a playful smack on the chest before taking his hand, “come on, we better go.”

-

You stepped through the main door of the venue. People were milling around everywhere, beautifully dressed women and dapper men chatting loudly, armed with drinks.

Kylo took your hand and squeezed gently.

“What these things are good for is the booze.” He said as he steered you towards the bar. 

You were soon armed with generously poured cocktails. 

“I’m going to apologise in advance for the incredibly boring conversation.” He said in a low voice.

“It’s ok, I have to go to shit like this for the gallery all the time. Keep the patrons happy, fundraising and all that jazz.”

“Probably more interesting people than this bunch.” He grimaced.

As if on queue a deep voice boomed, “Dr Ren!”

An older gentleman ambled up to Kylo and whacked him on the back jovially. “How are you son?!” 

They shook hands, “great to see you again Sir!” 

The man turned his attention to you, you smiled politely.  

“Ren, who is this lovely lady you have with you?”

“This is Dr y/l/n, y/n is the director at the city art gallery.” He introduced you, a touch of pride in his voice. “y/n, this is Sir David Walker, chair of the medical council.”

“Lovely to meet you Sir.” You shook his hand.

“Likewise, likewise.” He smiled at you warmly. “Excellent to have such bright young minds among us old decrepit lot.”

You laughed as he turned back to Kylo. 

“So where have you been hiding this one, Ren, keeping her away from all this malarkey as long as possible?.” He joked. 

Kylo’s hand crept to the small of your back, where it rested.

You sipped away at your drink as they got into a conversation about the stock market, nodding when it seemed appropriate. 

You crept away at one point, getting another round of drinks for you both. 

You came back to find Kylo alone, you handed him his drink. 

“Told you.” He grinned.

“Oh stop, he was very nice.” You chided, sipping your drink.

-

2 hours later you were many cocktails deep and chatting away to whoever was around, Kylo was a few steps away with a group of men discussing the driest topics known to man. You had tapped out pretty quickly, opting for another drink and mingling.

 His eyes drifted every now and then, checking on you. If you caught his eye you would wink. 

-

It was nearing midnight when you came back to each other. 

You were leaning against a pillar, watching some of the guests dancing outrageously. Kylo came up behind you and slipped his hands around you. 

“You look sooooooooo fucking hot, Kitten.” He murmured in your ear.

Oh he was tipsy. Definitely tipsy. Handsy as well. His hands brushing the underside of your breasts.

“Hiiiiiiii baby.” You grinned, reaching back and stroking his face. “Are you drunk?”

“A little, I’m also hungry, all they have is fucking canapés the size of thimbles.”

“Oh god don’t even talk about food, I’m wasting away here.” Your stomach growled as if in agreement.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here and get pizza.” He decided.

“Now we are fucking talking!”

You were feeling rather tipsy as well, your feet not quite coordinating as you wished. You swore as you stumbled a little. 

“Fucking martinis.” You grumbled, as Kylo’s arm shot out to steady you.

-

You managed to get yourselves down the road and into a pizza shop. Collapsing gratefully into a booth.

Because you were both slightly inebriated, ordering 3 pizzas seemed like an amazing idea, because how could you ever choose? 

When the table was heaving with giant pizzas you realised the absurdity of your order. 

“Babe, smile- this is fucking ridiculous.” Kylo laughed, holding up his iPhone. You posed with your slice of pizza, grinning at the camera. 

He snapped a few, chuckling. 

You both did an impressive job at getting through most of the pizza. Glad to soak up some of the booze sloshing in your stomach. 

Feeling less like a legless teenager, you held Kylo’s hand as you walked down the street. A breeze picked up and you shivered. 

Pausing, Kylo took off his tuxedo jacket and draped it over your shoulders. 

“What a gentleman, thank you.” You smiled, kissing his hand softly. 

“Looks good on you.” He winked, as he opened the Uber app on his phone. 

The car pulled up within minutes. Kylo pulled your body into his, in the back seat, keeping you warm. 

-

You unlocked your front door, “welcome to my humble abode, it’s not quite Casa Ren, but I like it.” 

Kylo walked into your apartment and his eyes flitted around. 

It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big either, somewhere in the middle. The walls were covered in art, well actually, anything that made you happy really. 

“This is so…..you.” He smiled, seeming much more relaxed than you had expected, “it smells like you.”

“I hope you’ll be comfortable here.” You said softly, tucking yourself under his arm. He kissed the top of your head, wordlessly. 

“Can you undress me Daddy?” You whispered, snuggling into him.

You felt him freeze, and exhale with a soft hum.

“Just let me know if i take it too far or something ok? I’ve never done this...er, roleplay” you looked up at him biting your lip.

He chuckled, eyes fiery “neither have I Kitten, but say it again.”

“Dadddddy.” 

“Fuck.”

“Show Daddy the pretty lingerie he got you, Kitten.” 

You took off the dress carefully. He didn’t take his eyes off you. You looked at him and twirled. 

“What do you think, Daddy?” You asked with a little smile. 

“Jesus Christ, come here.” He said softly. 

You walked and stood in front of him. 

“What’s that in your trousers Daddy?” You asked coyly gazing at his obvious erection, before being unable to control yourself and letting out a laugh. 

His hand landed on your backside fairly hard, making you yelp.

He was grinning, “why don’t you put your hand in there and find out little girl?”

You pushed him against the wall and worked his belt open. You watched his face as you put your hand into his briefs and wrapped your fingers around his cock. 

Sucked in air through clenched teeth and met your gaze. 

You widen your eyes, “so big Daddy!”

He smirked. You were both finding this whole roleplay comical, but it was quickly becoming insanely sexy, you were getting lost in the moment.

“Do you think you can fit it in your mouth Kitten?” He almost purred.

“I can try my best, Daddy.” 

“That’s my good girl.”

You hummed happily at his words, getting down on your knees and pulling down his trousers and briefs.

Wrapping your hand back around the base you began to kitten lick his tip. He leant his head back against the wall making a strangled sound. 

Flattening your tongue you licked him in one slow motion from base to tip, pausing to tease that one spot you knew drove him wild.

“Hhhhnggh good gi-... jesus!” You took him entirely in your mouth without warning, until you gagged.

You sat back on your feet and pouted up at him, “it’s too big, Daddy.” 

His eyes crinkled with amusement, “Shall i take you to bed, little girl?” he asked, kicking off his shoes and trousers. 

You nodded eagerly.

“Use your words, Kitten.”

“Yes, please Daddy.”

He motioned for you to stand up, when you were on your feet he picked you up. 

He carried you to your bedroom, your legs wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t fucking stop with this, it’s so fucking sexy babe.” he breathed in your ear as he walked. 

You chuckled, “this is fun, Daddy.”

He growled, before placing you gently on the bed.

He slowly took off his shirt, you watched, you could almost see his mind ticking.  

“What do you want me to do, Daddy?” you smiled, leaning back on your arms. 

“You can start by taking off those panties and showing Daddy your pussy.” he said casually.

You lifted your hips and slid the tiny thong off, kicking it at him. Leaning back on your elbows you spread your legs wide. 

“Touch yourself, tell me how wet you are.” he instructed, roughly. 

“Yes Daddy.” you purred, taking two fingers and running it through your folds with a little groan. 

He looked at you expectantly, now completely naked, cock angrily red and erect. 

“It’s very wet Daddy, what does that mean?” you asked with a smirk. 

“It means, little girl, that you are ready for Daddy’s cock.” he breathed.

You nodded in agreement, grinning as he got onto the bed next to you and lay on his back, then patted his thighs, “come sit here Kitten, Daddy wants to see your pretty tits bounce in the lingerie he got you.” 

You clambered over his thighs eagerly, dragging your pussy over his thigh greedily. 

He grabbed your hips and lined you up, so you hovered just above the tip of his weeping cock. 

He pushed you down onto his cock agonisingly slowly, watching your face intently as it contorted with pleasure, little whimpers tumbling from your lips as he stretched you out. It wasn't until he had you fully sheathed that he threw his head back with a loud moan. 

“Good girl, good girl, good girl.” he moaned. 

You used all your willpower to stay still and wait for instruction. 

“Fuck, Kitten, move baby girl.” he hissed, taking your hips again and setting a pace for you.

“Perfect, you’re perfect.” he moaned as you moved up and down, rolling your hips slightly. 

His eyes did indeed watch your tits bounce in the bustier, hands caressing your thighs. 

Your hands crept in between your legs, seeking your clit. He batted your hand away and replaced your fingers with the pad of his thumb.

“Oh god, Ky-..Daddy-” you cried out as he pressed firmly on your clit and began to thrust to meet your movements. 

“Need to cum Kitten?” he asked, pausing his thumbs movement on your clit.

“Mmmmm yes, yes please, Daddy, please!” you pleaded. 

He doubled his efforts, sending you barreling toward climax with a gasp. 

You came with a sob, chanting, “Daddydaddydaddydaddy.”

He flipped you both over, so you could lie bonelessly as he held your legs to his chest as he thrust into you to reach his own climax with a loud growl. 

He collapsed next to you panting, “That was…”

“Hot.” you finished before laughing and rolling over, tucking yourself under his arm. 

[whitehotharlots]

Andrea Long Chu is the sad embodiment of the contemporary left

Andrea Long Chu’s Females was published about a year ago. It was heavily hyped but landed with mostly not-so-great reviews, and while I was going to try and pitch my own review I figured there was no need. Going through my notes from that period, however, I see how much Chu’s work—and its pre-release hype—presaged the sad state of the post-Bernie, post-hope, COVID-era left. I figured they’d be worth expanding upon here, even if I’m not getting paid to do so.

Chu isn’t even 30 years old, and Females is her debut book, and yet critics were already providing her with the sort of charitable soft-handedness typically reserved for literary masters or failed female political candidates. This is striking due to the purported intensity of the book: a love letter to would-be assassin Valerie Solanas, the thesis of which is that all humans are female, and that such is true because female-ness is a sort of terminal disease stemming not from biology but from one’s inevitable subjugation in larger social contexts. Everyone is a woman because everyone suffers. Big brain shit.

But, of course, not everyone is a female. Of course. Females are females only some of the time. But, also, everyone is a female. Femaleness is just a title, see. Which means it can be selectively applied whenever and however the author chooses to apply it. The concept of “female” lies outside the realm of verifiability. Suggesting to subject it to any form of logic or other means of adjudication means you’re missing the point. Femaleness simply exists, but only sometimes, and those sometimes just so happen to be identifiable only to someone possessed with as a large a brain as Ms. Chu. We are past the need for coherence, let alone truth or honesty. And if you don’t agree that’s a sign that you are broken—fragile, illiterate, hateful, humorless.

Chu’s writing—most famously, her breakthrough essay “On Liking Women”—establishes her prose style: long, schizophrenic paragraphs crammed with unsustainable metaphors meant to prove various fuzzy theses simultaneously. Her prose seems kinda sorta provocative but only when read on a sentence-by-sentence level, with the reader disregarding any usual expectations of cohesion or connection.

This emancipation from typical writerly expectations allows Chu to wallow proudly in self-contradiction and meaninglessness. As she notes herself, explicitly, meaning isn’t the point. Meaning doesn’t even exist. It’s just, like, a feeling:

I mean, I don’t like pissing people off per se. Yes, there is a pleasure to that sometimes, sure. I think that my biggest takeaway from graduate school is that people don’t say things or believe things—they say them because it makes them feel a particular way or believing them makes them feel a particular way. I’ve become hyper aware of that, and the sense in which I’m pissing people off is more about bringing that to consciousness for the reader. The reason you’re reacting against this is not because it contradicts what you think is true, it’s because it prevents you from having the feeling that the thing you think is the truth lets you feel.

And so she can get away with saying that of course she doesn’t actually believe that everyone is a female, the same as her idol Valerie Solanas didn’t actually want to kill all men. The writers, Chu and Valerie, are just sketching out a dumb idea as a fun little larf, to see how far they can push a manifestly absurd thought. If they just so happen to shoot a gay man at point blank range and/or make broader left movements so repulsive that decent people get driven away, so be it. And if any snowflakes complain about their tactics, well that’s just proof of how right they are. Provocation is justification—the ends and the means. The fact that this makes for disastrous and harmful politics is beside the point. All that matters is that Chu gets to say what she wants to say.

This blunt rhetorical move—which is difficult to describe without sounding like I’m exaggerating or making stuff up, since it’s so insane—papers over Chu’s revanchist and violent beliefs. Her work is soaked with approving portrayals of Solanas’ eliminationist rhetoric—of course, Chu doesn’t’ actually mean it, even though she does. Men are evil, even as they don’t really fully exist since everyone is a woman, ergo eliminating men improves the world. Chu goes so far as to suggest that being a trans woman makes her a bigger feminist than Solanas or any actual woman could ever be, because the act of her transitioning led to the world containing fewer men. Again: big brain shit.

I’ll leave it to a woman to comment on the imperiousness of a trans woman insisting that she is bestest and realest kind of woman, that biological women are somehow flawed imposters. I will stress, however, that such a claim comes as a means of justifying a politically disastrous assertion that more or less fully justifies the most reactionary gender critical arguments, which regard all trans women as simply mentally ill men (this line of reasoning is so incredibly stupid that even a dullard like Rod Drehar can rebut it with ease). Trans activists have spent years establishing an understanding of transsexualism as a matter of inherent identity—whether or not you agree with that assertion, you have to admit that it has political propriety and has gone a long way in normalizing transness. Chu rejects this out of hand, embracing instead the revanchist belief that transness is attributable to taking sexual joy in finding oneself embarrassed and/or feminized—an understanding of womanhood that is simultaneously essentialist and tokenizing. When asked about the materially negative potential in expressing such a belief, Chu reacts with a usual word salad of smug self-contradiction: 

EN: You say in the book that sissy porn was formative of your coming to consciousness as a trans woman. If you hadn’t found sissy porn, do you think it’s possible that you might have just continued to suffer in the not-knowing?

ALC: That’s a really good question. It’s plausible to me that I never would have figured it out, that it would have taken longer.

EN: How does that make you feel? Is that idea scary?

ALC: It isn’t really. Maybe it should be a little bit more, but it isn’t really. One of the things about desire is that you can not want something for the first 30 years of your life and wake up one day and suddenly want it—want it as if you might as well have always wanted it. That’s the tricky thing about how desire works. When you want something, there’s a way in which you engage in a kind of revisionism, the inability to believe that you could have ever wanted anything else.

EN: People often talk about the ubiquity of online porn as a bad thing—I’ve heard from lots of girlfriends that men getting educated about sex by watching porn leads to bad sex—but there seems to me a way in which this ubiquity is helping people to understand themselves, their sexuality and their gender identity.

ALC: While I don’t have the research to back this up, I would certainly anecdotally say that sissy porn has done something in terms of modern trans identity, culture, and awareness. Of course, it’s in the long line of sexual practices like crossdressing in which cross-gender identification becomes a key factor. It’s not that all of the sudden, in 2013, there was this thing and now there are trans people. However, it is undoubted that the Internet has done something in terms of either the sudden existence of more trans people or the sudden revelation that there are more trans people than anyone knew there were. Whether it’s creation or revelation, I think everyone would agree that the internet has had an enormous impact there.

One of the things I find so fascinating about sissy porn is that it’s not just that I can hear about these trans people who live 20 states away from me and that their experiences sound like mine. There is a component of it that’s just sheer mass communication and its transformative effect, but another part of it is that the internet itself can exert a feminizing force. That is the implicit claim of sissy porn, the idea that sissy porn made me trans is also the idea that Tumblr made me trans. So, the question there is whether or not the erotic experience that became possible with the Internet actually could exert an historically unique feminizing force. I like, at least as a speculative claim, to think about how the Internet itself is feminizing.

Politics, like, don’t matter. So, like, okay, nothing I say matters? So it’s okay if I say dumb and harmful shit because, like, they’re just words, man.

Chu can’t fully embrace this sort of gradeschool nihilism, though, because if communication was truly as meaningless as she claims then any old critic could come along and tell her to shut the fuck up. Even as she claims to eschew all previously existing means of adjudicating morality and coherence, she nonetheless relies on the cheapest means of making sure she maintains a platform: validation via accreditation. This is all simple victimhood hierarchy. Anyone who does not defer all of their own perceptions to someone higher up the hierarchy is inherently incorrect, their trepidations serving to validate the beliefs of the oppressed:

I like to joke that, as someone who is always right, the last thing I want is to be agreed with. [Laughs] I think the true narcissist probably wants to be hated in order to know that she’s superior. I absolutely do court disagreement in that sense. But what I like even better are arguments that bring about a shift in terms along an axis that wasn’t previously evident. So it’s not just that other people are wrong; it’s that their wrongness exists within a system of evaluation which itself is irrelevant.

Chu has summoned the most cynical possible interpretation of Walter Ong’s suggestion that “Writing is an act of violence disguised as an act of charity.” Of course, any effective piece of communication requires some degree of persuasion, convincing a reader, listener, viewer, or user to subjugate their perceptions to those of the communicator. Chu creates—not just leans on or benefits from, but actively posits and demands fealty to—the suggestion that her voice is the only one deserving of attention by virtue of it being her own. That’s it. That’s what all her blathering and bluster amount to. Political outcomes do not matter. Honesty does not matter. What matters is her, because she is her. 

This is the inevitable result of a discourse that prizes a communicator’s embodied identity markers more than anything those communicators are attempting to communicate, and in which a statement is rendered moral or true based only upon the presence or absence of certain identity markers. Lived experience trumps all else. A large, non-passing trans woman is therefore more correct than pretty much anyone else, no matter how harmful or absurd her statements may be. She is also better than them. And smarter. And gooder.

Designating lived experience and subjective feelings of safety as the only acceptable forms of adjudication has caused the left to prize individualism to a degree that would have made Ronald Reagan blush. And this may explain the lukewarm reception of Chu’s book.

While they heaped praise upon her before the books’ release, critics backed off once they realized that Females is an embarrassingly apt reflection of intersectional leftism—a muddling, incoherent mess, utterly disconnected from any attempt toward persuasion or consensus, the product of a movement that has come to regard neurosis as insight. The deranged mewlings of a grotesque halfwit are only digestable a few pages at a time. Any more than that, and we begin to see within them far too much of the things that define our awful movement and our terrifying moment.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

i think you’ve realised some lists, but could you link your friends to lovers lists? 💞 thank u so much !

ABSOLUTELY NONNY!

God It’s euphoric being in a great mood!! It’s felt like 80 years since I’ve felt this happy. It’s gonna go away the second it rains again, but ANYWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I’m feeling generous so I’ll post this today and I’ve had the list “ready to post” for a few months. Here’s a part 2 list to my other list since I’ve enough to do it :D

FRIENDS-TO-LOVERS Pt. 2

See also:

T-RATED Pt. 1: Friends To Lovers Fics || [MOBILE LINK]

Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Friends to Lovers Pt. 1 [FULL POST] || [MOBILE POST]

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Nothing So Sweet by alexxphoenix42 (E, 5,275 w., 1 Ch. || Shopkeeper AU || Beekeeping, Sussex, Alternate First Meeting, Awkward First Time Sex, Self-Consciousness / Body Insecurity, Fluff, Hand Jobs) – In an alternate universe, Sherlock is busy keeping to himself, tending his bees, and selling lovely jars of honey when a soldier limps into his life quite unexpectedly. Part 1 of The Sweetest Things

Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he's not supposed to be able to feel emotions.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn't even noticed. Right...?

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Silhouettes by allonsys_girl (E, 28,585 w., 7 Ch. || Canon Compliant, POV John, Heavy Drinking, Sad/Depressed John, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Reunion, Foot Jobs, Blow Jobs, Infidelity, Cheating, Drug Use/Abuse, Anal, Switchlock, Rimming, Parentlock) – Sherlock and John find comfort in each other's arms, but as ever with these two, it's not your typical relationship. It's fluffy at the beginning, gets deeply angsty in the middle, gets porny at the end.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 24 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[blackypanther9]

Part 30 - Prices

Loki's POV....

I was shocked. She didn't lie. At first I thought she was... I am a monster... I killed my own father, who actually loved me...

Your POV....

The next memory was the war on Midgard. The Frost Giants fled back as they saw that they were too weak. I was standing in the study of Odin, he sat in his chair. He sighed.

"We will attack Jotunheim in 3 days. Laufey won't guess that we would come and take away their casket. And if Laufey behaves I will let him live and just strip him off his powers."

"Then it is decided. I will make the warriors ready.", I sighed.

I was about to walk out.

"Destiny ?", Odin said, I stopped.

"Yes ?"

"I am sorry. I know he was your best friend with Jackson, but he did a crime."

"I know Odin."

"I just wish to know why he did that."

I froze up.

"I...I..."

'Should I tell him ? I would fall into Laufey’s back if I did... I need to do something... At least for his son...'

"I have no idea, my King.", I said and walked out.

The next memory...

I sat in a room, I guess that was my own. I meditated on my bed. We all saw my vision I had.

I was in Jotunheim fighting. I needed to kill. I didn't want to, but I had to. Suddenly I had a ice spike go through my chest. I died. I saw darkness, until I saw a little Frost Giant. Laufey’s son. I saw him getting 5 years old and then die.

"NO !", I screamed and opened my eyes.

I panted and looked around my room. I was crying.

'What do I do ? I need to save him, at least the boy.'

Then my mind snapped. My eyes sparkled.

'I have an idea. I just need him out of Jotunheim. If I manipulate Odin good enough, then he will take him and raise him.'

I frowned more.

'I am so sorry you two, that I need to separate you... Now I need to prepare a letter.'

I stood up and went to a desk and chair. I took a pen and started writing...

Dear Odin,

My King, if you go deeper into the temple, you will find something special. It is little and blue. Take it with you, please. It is such an innocent little sweet thing. Take it with you and raise it like your own. But please... when it is 6 or 7 years old, tell it the truth. Tell it, it is a Jotun. This is my last living wish of you. Please don't make me sad. Do this little thing a favor and take it with you. I will miss you all, but I hope I will return one day.

~ Your beloved General

~ Destiny Andrea Dust ~

As I was finished, I folded it and hid it.

'Now I need to go to talk with Frigga... I hope she will help me. I have the feeling that he will need Frigga the most. Don't worry Dest, she will surely help you... One day... I will reunite you two. That I fucking swear. To death.'

Next memory....

I was in Frigga’s room, I waited for her.

'Calm your nerves Dust... She will help you, you can tell her the truth. She will keep the secret and help. If I tell Odin he would do things to them, I wouldn't want...'

The door opened and closed, I turned my head and saw Frigga.

"Destiny ! You scared me. Stop your Mischief, you bad woman.", she joked.

I chuckled.

"Sorry Frigga. But we need to talk. I have a problem..."

She frowned.

"Tell me child."

I took a deep breath.

"I can't tell Odin all that. Before I start, promise me that you won't tell Odin anything, okay ? He would kill me and maybe the persons too."

"I promise, Destiny."

"Okay... I know why Laufey did, what he did. He told me. That was 3 weeks and 4 days ago. He was awaiting a son. He must be 4 days old now... The realm, Jotunheim... 60% of it can't be used. Laufey said there are living monsters and beasts, which nobody of them can kill. There where they live...they are too many and the food isn't enough. The beasts and monsters are also coming closer to them. He is worried about his son. He could die after his birth of anything and everything. The most of the Jotuns starve themselves for their kids and women. His wife didn't have enough to eat and with that, the little Frost Giant, will be much smaller than he should. That is his death."

"So...he just did that for his son. He wanted to save him. He needed another planet to have more habitats. Why didn't he ask for help ?"

"He was too scared that nobody would help him in time. I would have needed 8 years to convince Odin to help and the boy will die there with the age of 5 years. But I know how to save the boy’s life. But for that, I need you very much. I need you to do me a very big favor."

"And that may be ? Talk to Odin ? Dear, for that it is too late now."

"What ? No ! I need you to be a great Mother to the boy. I beg you Frigga. My plan won't work without you."

"How should I play his Mother ? Odin will kill him."

"No he won't. I...Frigga I will die in war and that will be my last wish. That he takes the boy here. That he raises him like his own, with Thor. Frost Giants aren't heartless. I saw Laufey cry about his son. He is scared of losing him. But if we take him here, he will grow up. He will live. He has a chance to live ! I need you, for the boy."

  Frigga smiled.

"Well...If the boy comes here, I will, of course, raise him like my own. I love kids and Thor would be happy to have a brother. The most time he would be lonely anyways. Maybe they can entertain each other."

I smiled and giggled.

"Something tells me, that they will with time. At first they will and then they won't and then again they will. They would be great together. Imagine them fighting side by side some day. They would be unstoppable. Can't wait to see that.", I said.

"Me neither. ....", Frigga told.

"What is it Frigga ?"

"How should we name him then ? I can't think about a name."

"...I have such a feeling, that he will be one for Mischief and Tricks... Why don't you call him....Loki ? Loki Odinson. I think it sounds great."

Frigga looked at me. She smiled.

"Loki. That name is perfect. I love that name. He shall have this name. But why do you think he would need me the most ?"

"Odin will probably raise and treat Thor better than Loki. I mean Thor is Odins and your biological son and Loki is then just adopted. The most people and most men, mistreat adopted kids. They mostly realize it just then, when it is too late. I need you to fight for Loki. Please. Always safe him, teach him magic, be there for him. Frigga I really mean it. He will be such a sweet and innocent child, he deserves love. He deserves to live long. Please...give him this, all of it."

She smiled at me.

"You really like the boy, do you ?"

I blushed.

"I....I promised Laufey to safe his son's life. But yes, I also like the boy. I can tell Loki will be something special. I mean he will be from Jotunheim, but grows up in Asgard and learns everything about it there. Something also tells me that he will bring much good. How...I can't tell tho..."

Frigga smiled.

"I will raise him, protect him, teach him and love him, like he is my own. I promise you that. Until my death, he will be my son."

I smiled at her and let tears fall. I hugged her and she hugged me back.

"Thank you Frigga. You are the best friend I ever had."

"You are welcome."

"One more thing..."

We pulled away. Frigga looked at me.

"What ?", she asked.

"If he wants something, which belonged to me...give it to him. Loki will need it more than I did. But never tell him about me. I have a feeling that I will meet him again. I don't want him to know me. You can tell my legends but instead of telling my gender and name...put some other in the story, who is already dead."

She nodded.

"I will. I promise you."

"Thank you Frigga. I need to go. The war against Jotunheim begins any moment. Be prepared. Loki will come today...and I will be dead. We switch places. I will come back, that I swear to you."

She teared up. She hugged me once more.

"I will miss you. I will wait for you. Do you want to say goodbye to Thor too ?"

"I would love to, my Queen."

We went to another room and I saw a little sweet boy. He turned and let his toys fall. He stood up and ran to me to hug my leg.

"Destiny !", the little boy yelled happily.

I smiled, got down and lifted him up.

"Hey little fella. What were you playing Thor ?"

"Bear fighting against rabbit ! Rabbit won !"

I smiled at him and hugged him.

"You will get a little Brother Thor."

"I will ?! YAY !"

"His name will be Loki. Be nice little one, okay ? He is one year younger than you."

"I am big Brother !", he giggled.

"Yes, you are. I want you to watch out for him. Frigga my Queen, can you always remind him on that ?"

"I will.", she said smiling.

"I will miss you all."

"I will miss you too !", Thor said.

I smiled and sat him down again.

"Until next time, little fella."

"Bye !"

As we went out I turned around to look at Frigga.

"See Loki as a...prototype. A replacement of me. And it could be that I will change my name to Luciella Dusk. If you ever hear that name, it will be me. Just don't tell anyone."

"From where do you know that ?"

"I just do. Trust me Frigga. This next time...it will be a lot different. I love you very much. You are my family."

She smiled and I smiled a sad smile at her. I opened her door.

"I need to go now... Until sometime, Frigga."

"I will wait for you, Destiny."

I smiled, walked out and closed the door.

Last memory...

I was fighting in Jotunheim. I killed and saved. After some time I saw Jackson. He was surrounded by Frost Giants.

"Jackson !"

I ran to him and got into the circle. I fought and fought. I didn't even felt someone behind me, until I heard someone gasping. I turned around and saw Jackson stabbed down.

"NO !", I screamed.

I killed all Frost Giants with an energy blast. I got down and held Jackson in my arms.

"Jackson stay with me ! You hear ?!"

"I..I do... Dest...I am scared. Am I....going to....die ?"

I saw his fear. I looked around and saw a guard.

"No not today, Jackson. Hey ! You !", I yelled.

The guard turned to me and ran to me.

"Call Heimdall and bring Jackson, as fast as you can, to the healing wing. NOW !", I screamed.

He nodded, took Jackson in his arms and disappeared in the Bifrost.

'Now it will happen any moment... Okay... Put a spell on yourself to stay 3 minutes longer alive...'

After I put the spell on myself I got stabbed in the heart. I fell to the ground.

"Serves you right, Dust !", a Giant spat at me.

"No ! Destiny ! Welnem, you idiot ! I said don't kill her !", I heard Laufey scream.

I heard footsteps coming closer to me, fast. I felt arms around me.

"Dest ?! Destiny ! I am sorry ! I didn't want to kill you ! You were my best friend. Please stay by my side. Wake up... Please...", Laufey said.

"L-Laufey... It's o-okay... Fight Odin... You...can't help me anymore... We will see each other again...I swear. Just you wait..."

And with that I played dead. He shook me.

"Destiny ! No ! Stay ! Destiny I am sorry !", I felt tears falling on me.

He sniffed. I felt him letting go of me and ran to the temple after he said with a cold voice...

"I will fight Odin. And then I will kill Welnem for you as revenge. That I swear to you."

After I was sure he was away, I pulled out the letter and put it on my sword. Then everything went black.

'I am dead, again. I am sorry...Laufey, Loki, Thor, Frigga, Odin and Jackson... I am so sorry. I hope...you, Loki and Laufey, can forgive me one day... I will be back. Sooner than you think. I swear.'

End of memories...

Part 31

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[ellaintrigue]

Valid paranoia

**Disclaimer: I am not stereotyping or putting down autistic people or those with other mental conditions at all, I am only giving examples of some struggles I’ve had with certain individuals.**

I’m not going to pretend that I’m totally stable or better than anyone else, but I have had this blog for 10 years now with almost 900 followers. Because it is a public display of my writings and photography, I cannot control who views it. And unfortunately I have been stalked.

The first instance was in real life with cops and courts involved and I have never been able to hide my blog from that person for the aforementioned reasons. So that is reason enough for paranoia, but then there’s these people online that have repeatedly messaged me on dating sites, including one guy that saw me in person and confronted me. My best friends have said “why though, you’re not that great?” and I am NOT offended by them saying that because it’s true. I’m not a celebrity I’m an average hick with a rather grubby history. But another friend I had said it’s because I’m “confident” and then one of the digital stalkers said my “confidence” made him obsessed with me. His obsession going far beyond demanding dates on every new profile he makes but also threats of physical harm and calling me a c*nt.

So, yes, I am a ball of arrogance (confidence) but no means no and these people fixate on others largely due to mental illness it seems. Throughout life I have had unpleasant run-ins with people diagnosed with bipolar disorder for instance. One coworker would want to hug you one day and the next she would glare at you with hate for no reason. It’s scary. And I would never judge anyone for being mentally ill but when you become predatory and violent I will judge your actions.

A huge part of the problem is people with serious mental disorders refuse to take meds and accept their behavior as normal to them or being “okay.” This ranges from energetic mania where they obsessively do art or whatnot to smashing their car into a wall, no exaggeration. I had a neighbor that did that due to some issue he had. The guy babbled really really fast and eventually ended up hospitalized. It’s sad. Again, I got my own head shit, but if I started to do reckless things and endanger myself and others, that’s where the line is drawn.

Anyway, most of these people have made multiple new profiles to harass me on dating sites, and yes, my blog here. That is why I rarely respond to private messages, I’m cautious of people making too many attention-seeking comments, and blogs with no image of the user creep me out. On top of the fact that I want nothing to do with these predators, any form of attention gratifies them, even threatening to call the police. That is why I am paranoid. This morning I just blocked the 2nd account of a person pretending to be Morgan Wallen. I think I mentioned being a fan of his music a while back, before he got in trouble for saying the N-word which I obviously do not condone. I think I last mentioned that artist last year? So last week I get added by a fan blog based around him and the person messaged me, saying they were him. I said “okay, sure, send me a selfie holding the peace sign” and he said he was too good for that. I laughed and blocked him (or her). Today, same shit.

People that obsess with celebrities or impersonate them have mental problems obviously, so is this some random that just seeks attention, or one of the creepos I’ve blocked dozens of times? The fact that it’s based on Morgan Wallen who is currently being boycotted makes me think it was designed for me, but if others are being added by “Morgan Wallen Official” or whatever, please report and block.

It’s not just manic disorders, or whatever you want to label them, but I’ve struggled with the socially inept (stunted upbringings?) and those with autism. The last autistic person I was around worked, drove, and appeared mostly normal but would break down into a humming, rocking, crying, and yelling mess in a split second. Like are you okay? Are you going to calm down? Or are you going to smack me and not even know you’re doing it? :(

I was friends with a guy online for years; all of my online friends are platonic unless otherwise mentioned (such as an ex). He had seemingly mild autism and worked, drank, and paid his bills. I opened up to him about my life and valued our friendship but one night I lost some meds, they had rolled under my bed. I freaked out because you can’t easily replace prescriptions, especially since I was paying out of pocket at the time. I told him I was freaked the fuck out and he said “I love you.”

Well that freaked me out even more, but I just said I did not share those feelings, sorry. I tried to put that aside but things felt creepy after that because I think I was one of his only friends despite being an online person he’d never met.

Shortly after that I posted on my FaceBook page that it was my birthday, was some 18 year old going to eat my ass out? On my private FB I often post crude things because it’s people I know that get my sense of humor. Sadly on my blog here and other formats I can’t make sexual jokes or men assume I’ll sleep with anybody (yay for shaming women for their sexuality). The autistic guy messaged me later saying “I’d eat your ass out.” I told him I was through and blocked him on all formats. He had already started being too attentive and that comment was the end for me. That shit literally makes me cringe. WHEN SOMEONE DOESN’T WANT YOU, ACCEPT IT.

Since then, which was like 3 years ago, he’s messaged me on a dating site and then another place where he said “I know you hate me” and asked me to talk. I don’t hate him, I think a better word would be “fear.” I think he may stalk my blog here as well, but like I said, boundaries have to be drawn, we can’t just feel sorry for someone because they have a mental condition. I have the right to feel uncomfortable around someone and I have the right to cut them off.

Stay safe my people.

[unwillingadventurer]

Today’s fic is Thirteen and fam and Jo Grant. Thanks @ilwinsgarden and also @human-nxture for the suggestions of 13 meeting past companions.

...

In the warmth of the late afternoon sun, a tandem bike travelled speedily along a country lane with the Doctor and Yaz peddling quickly as they passed the scenery by. With the Doctor in front, a helmet on her head, she peered back and smiled, her hair pasted to her face with the wind so she could barely see.

“You keeping up there, Yaz?”

“Keeping up, we’re on the same bloody bike!”

“There’s a stationary vehicle by the road up ahead, let’s go and see if we can help.”

“But what about the boys?” Yaz shouted.

“We’ve still got time to beat them. Come on.”

As they slowed down, the Doctor glanced at the yellow car that seemed to have broken down by the side of the road. A young woman was beside it, sitting on the edge of the car, and seemed to be in a state of meditation.

“I don’t believe this,” the Doctor said as she threw herself off the bike and removed her helmet before Yaz even had time to think and stop properly. “It’s Bessie!”

“Bessie? That woman?”

Yaz took off her helmet and looked over at the blonde woman dressed in an oversized fluffy coat in pale blue, teamed with a matching blue dress and knee-high boots. She loved that the 70’s was an experimental decade, she’d even dressed for the occasion in bell bottoms, a woollen tank top and platform boots that were much too high. She’d been very pleased when the Doctor had complimented her retro headscarf.

“Bessie isn’t a woman!” The Doctor sounded annoyed. “Bessie is the car. The woman is none other than the rather wonderful Jo Grant!”

“And you knew this Jo in the 70’s?”

“Certainly did. She was my assistant at UNIT.”

“You had a job and an assistant?”

“Well she was my friend mostly. And yeah did a bit of work in the 70’s…possibly the 80’s as well. It was all rather strange, timelines got a bit mixed up somehow, or quite possibly everyone was just high on drugs.”

“So, what’s the car got to do with anything? Just looks like some old banger.”

The Doctor gasped. “An old banger! Gold star deducted Miss Khan. Bessie happens to be a feat of engineering in a retro yellow package. Rather like me.”

“Yoo hoo!” Jo called from the side of the road. “I don’t suppose you could keep me company.”

The Doctor smiled and strutted over. “Of course we can, Jo Grant. We can’t have Jo Grant getting lonely, can we, Jo Grant?”

Yaz followed on behind and watched as the Doctor shook Jo’s hand.

“Have we met?” Jo asked, wondering why the woman knew her full name.

“Yeah you could say that. Where’s…the Doctor?”

 “Gone to get some tools to fix Bessie. Do you know him then?”

 “Well, yeah, you see, actually…”

 “She is the Doctor,” Yaz said helpfully and to the point.

 Jo gasped. “Not my Doctor?”

 “Same one, different face.”

“I’m astonished. I’ve seen other versions of you but not a woman,” Jo said, “but I must say well done. I’m all for women’s lib and all that. I do rather adore my Doctor though, so cuddly and well dressed.”

The Doctor looked down at her clothes, disappointed that her previous companion hadn’t complimented her own fashion. “Well I’m him or I was once.”

“And blonde too, no more dumb blonde jokes eh?”

“Gold star Jo Grant!” the Doctor said with praise.

Yaz bowed her head and kicked the dirt with her platforms, having only just had one of her gold stars deducted for being rude. “So, I’m Yaz, seeing as she didn’t bother to introduce me.”

“I was getting to that. Jo Grant this is the wonderful Yaz, my current companion, or one third of my fam.”

“Current?” Yaz said.

 Jo smiled warmly. “Lovely to meet you, Yaz. What a great surprise this is. You wait ‘til I tell Mike Yates about this, he is not gonna believe it.”

 The Doctor’s smile widened. “Mike! How is the old devil?”

 “Same old Mike.”

“And how’s Benton and the Brigadier?”

“Oh, they’re well, smashing fellas.”

The Doctor turned excitedly to Yaz. “They’re the best of the Earth, Yaz, saving lives and protecting the shores and no one knows they exist.”

“Thanks Doctor,” Jo said and giggled. “Oh, I do feel naughty saying that, like I’m having an affair with another…well woman I suppose!” She playfully slapped Yaz on the arm to which Yaz laughed.

Already the Doctor was making her way to the front of Bessie, lifting up the bonnet and peering inside. “I can fix this, no problem. Where’s the other me?”

“Needed to fetch his tools.”

The Doctor reached into her pocket and whipped out her goggles which she then placed on, and then pulled out her sonic screwdriver. “This does everything.”

Jo and Yaz watched on fascinated as the Doctor got to working on the machine, her tongue peeking out the side of her mouth as sparks flew around her. She was so immersed in her task that she hardly heard the roar of a motor pulling up beside them.

The car window rolled down and out popped Ryan’s head from the passenger window. “Ha, we’re so gonna beat ya!”

“How did you get that car?” Yaz said, folding her arms.

Graham leaned over Ryan from the driver’s seat. “Stop yakking, son, we’ve got a ‘north to south don’t use the TARDIS race’ to win. They’re stuck helping some old banger.”

Leaning up from underneath the bonnet, the Doctor scrunched her face. “That’s no way to talk about Jo Grant.”

“I meant the car, blimey Doc, I don’t make a habit of calling young ladies ‘old bangers’.”

“Ignore Graham’s eagerness at winning, he’s just so hyped to be back in his own era,” Ryan said.

“And don’t you be dissing it, son. I look like a right blinder in this tashe.”

And suddenly the car drove away at high speed and Yaz sighed as they were left behind with a trail of dust covering them. “They’re going to win! And I still can’t get used to Ryan in that afro wig.”

“You’ve got to hand it to them,” the Doctor said, rolling up her sleeves. “They really went all out.”

“You know those men in that orange Cortina?” Jo asked. “Had a boyfriend with a car like that, got up to a few things, ooh I shouldn’t say that should I?”

“Never mind that, Jo Grant, Bessie is road ready.” The Doctor grabbed Yaz’s hand, transferring oil onto her clean skin. “Yaz, we’ve got two egos to smash.”

“You mean we’re gonna nick this car from Jo?”

“We’re gonna commandeer it. Do you fancy an adventure, Jo?” The Doctor held out her hand.

“I’d love to. Ooh how exciting, a proper gals road trip.” She took the Doctor’s hand and grasped firmly.

Yaz and Jo climbed into the car and scrunched up close together next to the Doctor who was already in the driver’s seat. She lifted up her goggles. “You ready fam?”

“We’re so ready,” Yaz said, “as long as we don’t do a Thelma and Louise.”

“Ah spoil sport, Yaz. I’ve always wanted to do a Thelma and Louise with you one day.”

“Preferably without the cliff part, ta very much!”

Jo laughed. “I don’t mean to sound a bit daft but who are Thelma and Louise?”

 ...

Very close to the finish line of their long race across the entire country having to use a multitude of vehicles, Ryan and Graham stopped for a quick bite to eat, knowing they were ahead of the women and had time to spare.

“I needed that sarnie,” Graham said, wiping the mustard from his mouth. “You might wanna check that hairdo for crumbs,” he said pointing at Ryan’s afro.

“You might wanna check the tashe, Grandad.”

“We are so going to rub this in to the Doc later. The race, not the mustard.” Graham rubbed his hands together cheekily.

“Cool yeah but shouldn’t we get back on the road? We’re so close to the end.”

“Yeah you’re probably right son, don’t want to be too cocky.”

They were just about to climb back into the car when a yellow blur whizzed past them, so fast they had no idea what it was and they stood feeling rather dizzy at the sight.

“Blimey, what was that?” Graham said. “Think the mustard just blurred my eyes.”

“We don’t get tornadoes in England, do we?”

“Don’t know, son, but let’s get cracking.”

“Yeah you’re right, I’ve got a weird feeling.”

…

As the Cortina pulled into the finish line, Graham and Ryan were shocked as they parked, climbed out and realised that the Doctor and Yaz, along with new passenger Jo Grant, were already standing at the finish line, beside the bright yellow car, smiling and doing some kind of 70’s themed victory dance.

“How on earth did you get here so fast?” Graham said.

“You was that big yellow blur weren’t ya?” Ryan said and then slapped Graham on the arm. “I told you not to stop to eat that sarnie!”

“I can’t drive on an empty stomach. Hang about, how comes you can travel at the speed of light all of a sudden? I call foul play.”

Yaz started to shimmy from side to side. “Don’t be a sore loser, Graham, we won fair and square and we got to meet Jo. She’s really cool.”

Jo hugged Yaz from the side. “Pleasure is all mine, darling. Lovely to meet all of you and have a race against the boys, shame my UNIT boys weren’t here.” She looked at Ryan. “I have a feeling Mike might really be sad he missed meeting you.” She pinched his arm playfully.

“So, you’re allowed to use all your what-not and jiggery-pokery on that old car and win the race?” Graham asked.

Yaz prodded him. “Serves you right for stealing our scooters in phase 1.”

Jo grabbed Yaz and the Doctor’s hands. “I declare the winners, Yaz and the Doctor!” She then kissed them both on the cheeks and hugged the losers

…

“Thank you, Doctor,” Jo said as they sat alone on the sand dunes, looking out to sea, the breeze tickling their cheeks. “I had a fabulous day.”

“Glad to hear it, Jo Grant.” The Doctor sifted some sand between her fingers.

“You’re taking care of yourself then?”

 “You know me, as long as I’ve got someone to lend a hand then I’m usually alright.”

“Looks like you have some fun times with those three?”

“Yes. They’re not so bad.”

“And we had fun times too. You remember those, don’t you, Doctor?”

“Of course I do. You and me with Bessie and the open road. We had it all!”

“I don’t know how I’ll leave you Doctor and I don’t need you to tell me but one thing, was I happy?”

“You’re Jo Grant, you’re always happy. And the world is better for it.”

They smiled at one another and said nothing for a few moments, just appreciating the moment to enjoy one another’s company.

“Wait a minute,” Jo suddenly said, breaking the silence. “If we’re here with Bessie then where’s my Doctor?”

The Doctor scrunched up her face. “Oh, forgot about that.”

…

“Jo? Where are you? Jo?” The Doctor stood in the middle of the empty road, holding a tool kit and peering around in bewilderment. He took off his green velvet jacket, slinging it over his shoulder and rubbing his chin with his gloved hand. “Oh well, suppose the walk won’t do me any harm. Hope she hasn’t driven the old girl off a cliff.”

[wormmomma]

tyler, the creator: the very queer discography review!!!

Im bored of writing overly long threads on twitter so i wrote a look at tyler the creators discography and why hes gay and im gay and deserved to have his dick immortalized in gold when he dies. So tyler gregory okanma is a black man born in ladera heights california. He’s also my third favorite rapper and since he discovered my favorite rapper earl sweatshirt I guess he deserves goat status for that shit too. Tyler started his career around 17 years old as the ace the creator. He did features at the time with casey veggies and the inspirations in his flow to mf doom where already apparent even back then. From ace the creator mixtape you can already hear the very digital and jazz inspired pharrell production. Funny story if you look up any of his ace stuff now you'll mostly find some really old production that in the age of tyler the creator type beats doesn't really hold u all that great. From there Tyler went on to create odd futures and his first album bastard. He quite quickly followed up bastard with godlin. Goblin, bastard, and the OF tape vol.1 all feel pretty interconnected so im gonna speed round from worst to best. So odd future tape volume one is fun and punk and really crass, it's also completely eclipsed by odd futures other releases. I love odd future and the collective's ability too be both edgy teen skate rap garbage, and a risky artistic rap collective all at the same time. In odd future's first tape it seems pretty clear that tylers description of the groups early work as a bunch of niggas joking around in a studio is very apparent for better or worse. If you wanna get high with some friends can listen to some funny edgy and downright grimey tracks over left brains booking production skip this and listen to odd future's next mixtape but come back here to listen to some funny skits and a few proto mellowhype track with domo genesis. Goblin is Tyler's attempt to do a bigger darker more sprawling version of bastard but misses the mark. I like the album and I love singles on the album. Goblin the opening track is amazing and is a great look at tylers mental state attempting to live up to his newfound fame and anxiety about his infamy. I love yonkers and tron cat. Tyler says alot at this time that he doesn't make horrorcore and he's correct but the lack of emotional honesty and his immature deflections is really going off on all cylinders. If you dont wanna hear skits like “my bitch suck dick” and lines like “im not homophobic faggot” i would probably call it his worst album. Before i talk about bastard id like to go over his use of slurs and rape in his work. Tylers consistent lyrics about violence towards women and use of the lgbtq community really don't insult me. I feel like his lyrical content is filled with a clear look of how angry and insecure tyler was about not having a father or any way of processing his angst. Did he have to sound like a incel threatening to stalk and murder women who refuse to love him for over 3 albums? No, but i really enjoy looking at his early music. He doesn't shy away from how angry, sad and desperate he was at the time. That synthesis of need for fatherly love, anger from a lack of it and deteriorating mental state honestly makes the content more palatable. Also as a black trans women id rather hear tranny an faggot bars from a male rapper making intreeating music. Tyler at the time was being honest, angry and vulnerable not like eminem and action bronson who spit these bars with all the same rap bravado and violent anger toward women with zero pathos. Bastard is amazing, it's an intimate dark album. At the time it felt like it was tapping right into where I was at the time. The amount of mental anguish on bastards opening track really hit me. I was an angry kid with a lot of angst and bipolar disease so hearing a rapper yell about that same dysfunction really meant alot to me. The flows are amazing and it was a really good look at tylers ability to build a narrative. Wolf was tyler's next album. For a while wolf was my favorite album by tyler. His look at relationships and breakups on bimmer and ifhy are amazing and are expanded on his future releases. Find your wings and treehome are also a good look at his more melodic influence. It was such a good album I actually bought the mrech for and went to see Tyler at afropunk. Also hearing an entire song about the death of his grandma really hit me, my grandfather died around the same time. Cherry bomb was bad, now moving one. Ok im  joking i've listened to it two or three times but its really not worth going back to even though tyler put his all into it. The soul features and amazing production is worth listening to but even Tyler admits he rushed the album a little and that he needed to blow people away next time. Flower boy, is one of the most important albums in hip hop. That's it. Bar none. It was my favorite release of 2018. Flower boy is about tylers newfound isolation with his fame, and how he drives cars by himself in beautiful la vistas. Its also about how he’s gay (or bisexual). There are ALOT of stupid takes on this album. There is a contingency of tyler stans that think tyler has been “playing a character” since bastard. Now I'll admit that wolf haley and dr.teecee are clearly characters; they are also artists' representations of tyler's mental state. If wolf haley has adhd and no father that means tyler also has those issues. So whether or not Tyler is playing a character he has in fact “been kissing white boys since 2004”. I also have seen an insipid article that asks if “tyler the creator should be accepted into the lgbtq community” due to his homophobia? Much more controversial and actually homophobic and transphobic people are in this community hes tyler the creator, not milo yinnaoplous. I also dont think that it occurs to the reviewer that alot of gay men are very hmophobic before they come out and that self hate is very common. Lyrics like “im not gay i just wanna dance to some marvin” also has a much deeper context now. Listening to older releases you can see how in your face tyler was about his queerness. He even said he filmed himself kissing his friend Lucas to prove he wasn't a homophobe. I'm happy Tyler grew enough to make an album not only about being attracted to men but how lonely he felt in and out of the closet. As someone who came out as bisexual at the time it came at a perfect time. Being  gay is isolating and confusing and when you do you lose alot of friends and family. Garden shed, who dat boy, and 911 are real standouts. His collaboration with kali uchis was also so fucking smooth and she a born r&b star. Tyler gained a grammy nomination off the album and said he loved the feeling of finally making popular catchy music people wanna sing the lyrics too, so he followed it with igor. Igor opens with this addendum on the back of the physical album: 

This might be fiction, this might be about igor but it is fully about tyler okanga. The album is very hard to parse and barely has any rapping. It's more of a pop experimental album with a lot of lofi synth production. Tylers production chops are full force here. Igor is melodic, sad and full of the same anger and obsession from his previous albums. Its just more mature and really gay, and i fucking love it. Tyler was dealing with a tumultuous relationship with a guy and his refusal to be with tyler exclusively. Its about a breakup. A love tragedy that only becomes more depressing after the argument on a boy is a gun, the breakup in my love is gone, and the sad slump back into needing closure in can we be friends. The album is fun to sing to, and fucking devestating. I've dealt with a lot of similar issues with love and obsession so to hear it so clearly illustrated on igor really hit me. I think the album becomes even more depressing with the unreleased track best interest, about tyler being a side nigga. This is the kind of music that's sometimes made in r&b and pop but never in rap. There was an interview where Tyler says he hated his voice which is why he edits it so evident on igor. Tyler also said he wanted to send these songs to rihanna and Justin Beiber but they didn't want them, as cool as it sounds. I'm happy tyler was able to tell his own story. I would also recommend magic wand since it's my favorite track on the album and kicks you in the face with how angry and heartbroken Tyler was at the time. 

Tyler is an artist that talks and speaks about how he feels all the time, he's also a person who feels enigmatic and mysterious somehow. I think it has to do with how constantly he's put to the side of his other hip hop contemporaries. He always seems to be making music Tom weird, controversial and experimental to be treated like asap rocky, vince staples, or the late mac miller. A fact that feels ironic since he worked with all of those artists, lil wayne, and even kanye west. I'm as big a stan for tyler as he is for Pharrell, if it wherent forever I'd never take rap seriously and would never have chosen to make my own music. As a black trans woman I find a lot of tylers work really relatable. I've been in alot of the angry hopeless situations Tyler talks about in his music. I think he's the artist who hits me the most on a personal level and yeah when i was depressed i sat in my bedroom and listened to bastard in my low moments. I like riding in the car and listening to all of flowerboy. Igor is amazing as well for almost half a decade it's been amazing growing up and hitting the same emotional beats Tyler went through5 in his work. Hearing about him coming out as gay ajd dealing with very similar backlash mad me feel less alone if im being honest. Tyler has said he wants to take a more production heavy role in the industry moving forward but he says that a lot, i think as long as he has a story to tell he's always going to make music. His music feels like a diary and I'm happy to read it and sonnet to it in all its beauty and ugliness. 

Hi my name is lua o'reilly i make music on soundcloud.com/wormmother

If you liked this review let me know and I'll do a look into earl sweatshirt.