#this is more of a 'I don't wanna go to sleep already but I don't feel like doing anything in particular rn. how do I spent this time.'
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siri-ike · 1 day ago
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Danny awoke, abruptly to a flick to the forehead.
"Ow." It didn't really hurt. It was more just a reaction.
"Stop digging up your giant wound, idiot." A boy in a gray tank top (that looked like it wasn't originally gray) and a domino mask directed.
Danny tried to get up but was held down by a girl dressed in all black. She gestured to stay on the table. It was a lot like a dissection table, except it was paded. And strangely, his hands weren't restrained. He let go of the staple he'd been trying to scratch out in favor of reaching for either of them. The girl took the hint and held his hand. He sniffled. She even removed both their gloves, revealing his black and gray frostbitten fingers.
Slowly, he closed his eyes again and was engulfed in a bright blue light. The last thing he heard was the sound of a heart rate monitor finaly detecting a beat.
~~~~~~~
This time, he woke up in a bed. It's still definitely a medical room. Modesty hadn't been a concern for him lately, but it's nice to be covered up. Sitting up didn't hurt nearly as much as usual. When he looked down, he saw he was wearing some kind of stretchy corset. No matter what he tried, he couldn't get it off.
OK, here goes. Standing was no picnic, either. It was more like those weird jello dishes Aunt Alice sometimes brought to family gatherings. Discusting and surprisingly hard.
The floor is cold to the touch, it dosnt help that he's barefoot. And... pink. No, his feet are pink. He looks at his hands. Also pink. Nonono. He staggers over to a sink with a mirror above it and forces himself to look. He had pitch black hair and normal blue eyes.
It's ok, this is fine. A bunch of strangers know who he is, but it's alright. They helped him, so they must be trustworthy, right? And even if they weren't, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except rescuing the other ghosts.
"Oh, good. You're awake."
Danny stumbled, catching himself on the sinke and the cabinets behind him.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Mind answering a few questions." The masked boy was nonchalant and detached. He wore a pair of sweatpants stained with at least 4 days' worth of mystery goo. He looked like he had the same sleep schedule as Clockwork.
"You're not cleared to stand yet, and considering you've already fainted just from holding a girl's hand, you might wanna take it easy." Was it the same guy as before? It's not the same tank top, and he doesn't seem like the kind of person to change clothes regularly. Plus, Danny was lying down when he saw him first. He didn't look this short then.
Danny moves one hand from the cabinets to his chest. It's still covered. He couldn't scratch through the barrier. He tries to rub at it to get a little bit of relief, but nothing works.
"I, I can't," he's out of breath. But not from walking, he's not tired. It's frustration. "I can't leave."
"Sure you can, you sljust have to prove you're healthy enough first." He didn't even look up from his tablet. "It's multiple tests, and you don't even need a perfect score for all of them." This guy sounds more into tests than Jazz. "Let's start with walking. Does it hurt to walk?"
"I can't leave." Danny slides down to the floor.
"Hm, we'll circle back to that one. How many fingers am I holding up?"
"I can't leave!" He covers his face with his hands.
"You know what? Nightwing can handle this."
Mere minutes later, the same boy came back, this time taller and dressed like an overtly sexy trapeze perfomer that works at a disco themed dive bar. He rushed in and sat on the floor next to Danny. Arms held out around him, but not touching him.
"What's going on? What do you need?" He asked, sounding like a preschool teacher.
Danny sat there for a moment before embracing the strangely clad man. With the side of his face smushed thoroughly into the man's chest, Danny could feel the exposed chest hair on his ear. What are you doing, man? You can't have exposed chest hair on your superhero outfit. Even Danny knew that, and he wears a hazmat suit into battle. Despite the faux pas, he was still comforting.
"I c'cant lea-ve," Danny trembled.
"That's fine, you don't have to leave." He tried to reassure.
"Can't" why can't he say anything else?! "leave."
The man just hugged him tighter and caressed his hair, just like Jazz does. And just like with her, Danny couldn't help but let out a tear.
~~~~~~~
A while after that, another man, maybe 60-70 years old, made him eat a bunch of tiny sandwiches. They were so much better than the steaming pile of nothing he had the past several weeks. He must have eaten his own weight in finger foods.
~~~~~~~
Red hoods entrance was loud. Was it this loud the first time, too? Danny could hear yelling, scolding. From the words he could make out, Red Hood must have brought him here and only told the others after he'd already left. tt. What a hero.
Danny sat still, legs dangling off the bed, waiting.
"Sup, flesh wound?" The Red Hood entered brashly. "What just gonna sit there, didn't baby bird patch ya up? Or at least give you drugs?" The way he spoke, it was clear he was trying to come off as a jerk. But the questions and the emotional energy he gave off said otherwise.
"Bertrand told me to stay in bed. I won't argue with the hand that feeds me." Danny forced a smile.
"Bertrand?" The Red Hood took off his helmet... another domino mask. Why do all these people look exactly the same? And more specifically, why do they look more related to him than half his family does?
"I don't know his real name, but he looks like he could be Bertrand." He cleared.
"Ha! He does, doesn't he?" He's a lot less scary looking without the helmet. Now, if he could only take off the blood covered jacket. "It's better it you don't know our names. Tell me what was going on at that facility." His face was serious again, but his emotions were the same throughout.
Danny's hand wandered back to his wound, still out of reach. Still beckoning to him. "The guys in white are a seacret government organization that wants to exterminate all ghosts. They've captured almost everyone already. Walker, Young Blood, Pointdexter, the Lunch Lady. I couldn't see the others, but I know they were there." His wound grew louder and louder.
Touch me, find me, hold me. He felt like it was screaming at him.
Red grabbed Danny's hands to stop him. "It can't heal with your hand stuffed inside."
It can't heal, not yet. Not until he's whole.
"So these Guys in white, if they want to exterminate all ghosts, then why were the ghost all in cages instead of dead?"
"It's difficult to kill a ghost. The most common way is to just fade out. And each ghost will fade for different reasons. They want to find a faster way that will work on any ghost."
It clawed at his mind, all consuming. In the way he used to feel about protecting others or space. Now, there is only the hole in his chest.
Red sighed. "Baby bird!"
The boy from before stepped into the door frame as though he'd been just out of sight the whole time. Probably listening. "Yes?"
"What's up with his chest? Did you not give him painkillers? That thing was fully open."
"Are you in pain?" The tired one addressed Danny.
"No."
In response, Red let go of his hands, which went straight back to his chest, and looked back at the other boy with a "see?!" kind of motion.
"You could have an infection. The copious amount opioids we gave you would still hide the pain. How does it feel?"
Danny only needed a single word to describe it.
"Hollow."
~~~~~~~
It took a lot of convincing, but the ratty one, Red Robin, agreed to let him be awake while they checked on the wound.
He sat back on the same padded metal table as before, arms fully extended and holding onto a handle bar. Behind him stands the blue one, wingnut or something, ready to hold him back if he tries to interfere. In front of him is Red Robin, to his right is Red Hood and to his left is the silent girl in black, Orphan. Some others had come in earlier, but Hood had asked each one to stay away.
Red Robin readied his scalpel, and slowly, he cut through the garment, reaching from Danny's armpits to slightly below his bellybutton. Once that was gone, there were still layers of bandages. They started off white. The more they removed, the more it started turning a light brown, then a darker brown. By the end, it looked almost black. Only when it was all gone did he try to reach inside, but was stopped by 70s playboy model, who guided his hand back to the rail. He took a deep breath and heard two faint *clink* sounds.
Red Robin looked shocked, Orphan didn't react at all, and Red Hood looked concerned.
"What?" Asked... Dark... wing?
"I put in 36 staples, but it looks like he's pushed out 14 of them from the tops and bottom." He pauses. "And the wound has closed in those places. This sort of progress should have taken days, not 20 hours."
"What about," Danny tried to find the right word "inside." Close enough.
The cavity was harder to examine now that it had gotten smaller. "There's no infection. Remember to thank the antibiotics on the way out."
"Are you conscious enough to be doing this?" Hood snarked.
"It's not infected. There's no extra stuff, there's, uhm. Something missing. It was like," Danny opened and closed his fist, trying to convey something.
"Did you remove something?" Said blue bird to red bird.
"There was some shrapnel. It was like tiny pieces of Cristal."
"That's it. I need it, where is it?"
Nightwing had to pull him back into place. Nightwing, that's his name.
"It's in a box, I tried to put it back together, but it's fragile." It was like Red Robin disappeared and appeared shortly after with a biohazard box.
He might be a teleporter or a speedster. And since the GIW wanted Hood, he must have some kind of ghost powers, too. That explains why they wear masks.
Inside the white, insulated plastic box was a mostly reassembled ice core. It glowed a weak blueish-green. As Danny's hand inced towards it, it glowed bitghter. He only had to pick up the pieces. It was as though they found their way together on their own. Each one drained him more than the last, but it was all worth it.
To finally be whole again.
Prompt: Prison Break
Walker wouldn't have expected it, but one of the worst parts of being imprisoned by the GIW was watching Phantom suffer through the descending stages of violent obsession failure.
All of them were feeling it, obviously, but for most of them it was a slow decline - the pull of longing, developing over days and weeks into a sharp ache. Ember, ignored and silenced, was lashing out, kicking the glass walls and screaming for attention, even when it hurt. Johnny and Kitty, kept out of each other's sight, pressed against the walls closest together. Walker's whole body throbbed with frustration and self-loathing, needing to return to his territory and drag everyone back with him, away from this place of torture.
But Phantom, not three years dead and with an obsession that demanded that he keep everyone completely unharmed, had declined rapidly. Sure, for the first week or so, he'd been preoccupied with troubles of his own, strapped constantly to a table with hands digging through his insides. But then they'd started to spread out their attention.
At first, Phantom didn't seem to realize what was happening. He cried out in anguish and fear, trying to break open his cell and being punished for it, collapsing under the shock collar's control. Walker could almost see when he figured it out, when he started to clutch at his chest, and scribble constellations onto the walls and floor in his dripping ectoplasm with hands that trembled, trying to ease the pain in his core.
Then he started to curl up and choke on his tears, shuddering in pain whenever screams echoed down the hall. Finally, in between his own turns on the table, he started to shove his hand into his open chest, clutching his burning core directly, moans of pain rising into yells in nearly perfect unison with whoever else was the victim this time.
(Sidney had declined in nearly perfectly unison with Phantom, which a part of Walker hoped the punk hadn't noticed.)
If Phantom wasn't a halfa, he probably would've shattered into dust by now. It probably would've been a mercy.
When the yelling started, Walker almost didn't notice. Phantom, delirious with pain, for sure didn't. But before long, most of the rest of them had stirred to alertness, dragging themselves closer to the glass to peer down the hall. A troop of GIW stormed down the hall without glancing at any of them, and an alarm started going off. Phantom whined and rolled over, his hand buried in his autopsy wound while he shivered. (The scientists had tried stitching it closed, but Phantom just clawed it blindly open.)
"What's happening?" the Lunch Lady croaked. (Youngblood and Phantom were starving, and it was doing her no favors.)
"Prison break," Walker rasped. He recognized the signs. "Someone's here." He'd never imagined that it would be a relief.
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sugawhaaa · 8 hours ago
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☆[HAN ONE-SHOT]☆
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🐾•{ four months and two weeks }•🐾
Warnings//genre:: SMUT, hybrid, breeding, mating, riding, no foreplay
Pairing:: sub!hamster!hybrid!Han x dom!fem!reader
A/N:: Gang this is so short I'm sorry. Also sorry my inspo and motivation is like nonexistent so I haven't been writing at all lately 😭
Skz masterlist:: 🐾
Taglist:: @yukichan67 @kbunzzi2oa @annafeebou
🎧::
Han has always been your snuggle bug, always up for cuddling up in your warmth, because it's in his nature. Hamsters like to burrow and cuddle up in the bedding, so naturally, Han likes to burrow into your body, snuggling into your chest or your neck, and he likes to cuddle up against your body and in your bed sheets. It's gotten to a point where you don't have separate beds, you have separate rooms but he sleeps in your bed at night. It was something you became accustomed to quickly and you enjoyed it.
One night though you notice him tossing and turning a lot before bed and when you woke up in the morning you noticed that Han wasn't beside you like usual, nor was he in the room which was strange for him considering hamsters are so clingy, especially him. You quickly get up and search for him only to find him in his room, curled up on the little bean bag chair in his room, his nose and ears consistently twitching.
"Jisungie, are you okay?" You come over to him, squatting down beside him.
"I-I think I'm..." His face burns red as sweat drips down his nose and builds along his hairline. "In heat..." he swallows hard before meeting your eyes, his eyes frantically searching yours for something. Understanding? Concern? Hope? He suddenly felt his eyes watering, the overload of emotions and hormones breaking through. "This morning I woke next to you a-and I couldn't hold back..." He looks at you with guilty eyes and your heart shatters at the sincerity in his eyes. "I started..." His eyes jitter around your face again, searching for your reaction.
"Shh, shh, it's okay," You wrap your arms around his head and upper back. "I know how hard these times are for you, I should've known...has it already been five months since your last one?" You feel kind of bad for not being able to track his cycle better. Hamsters have a different breeding cycle that is a little more like humans. Instead of going through heat/ovulation every spring for weeks on end Hamsters go through heat every four to five months.
"Four months and two weeks so...yeah," He looks down at your chest quickly before blushing. "Can you...Help me? Like you always do?" Part of him felt guilty for always asking for some sex during heat but the other side of him craved you like a drug and he knew you didn't mind, if not enjoyed it, so he asked.
"Of course, wanna get back to bed?" You smile and he nods. He follows close behind you as you walk back to your bedroom. The two of you quickly toss off your nightwear and crawl into bed, Han beneath you. His heats are very different from many other hybrids, to Han it's not entirely about mating and breeding it's about the sexual release, so he doesn't mind being on top or bottom: Heat to Jisung is almost like being in a full body sub-space. He bites his lip as he watches you crawl on top of him, his ears flicking quickly in interest. "Want me to ride you?" You ask just to be sure and he nods.
"Please..." He looks up at you desperately. You then push him down gently by his chest, getting him to relax against the pillows.
"I'll take care of you, baby," You say as you slowly sink down on his cock. During heat, he's extra sensitive so you need to do everything slowly and cautiously. He lets out a choked whine before latching onto your body, holding your hips, and burying his face in your upper chest. He takes heavy, shaking breaths as he holds onto you. You slowly begin to grind on him and he lets out a whimper.
"Feels good," he whispers between choked moans. His hands creep up to your back, rubbing it comfortingly. "I love you so much, you're so good to me," he murmurs before leaning back, watching you as you ride him, a small grin spreading across his lips as you lift yourself a little and back down. "Yes," He moans as he throws his head back. "Please keep going," He whines even though he knows that you had no real reason to stop.
"I won't, don't worry baby," you kiss his forehead before resuming your bouncing motion on him. "Not until you've let out all this frustration," you tuck his silver hair back and he looks up at you with those doe eyes, twinkling with love and need. His ears tuck back as he looks up at you but as you continue to ride him his ears perk up again.
"Fuck you're so beautiful like this," Han moans before biting his lip, breathing heavily again. "You'll make such beautiful babies," he smirks softly, laughing at himself. "Sorry if that's weird it's just what I'm thinking," he whines before tossing his head back again. "I-I think I'm close," He warns as you feel his cock twitching inside you, nudging at that tender spot. "Oh please please please," his mouth begins to hang open as his brows furrow, his body now drawn forward from the overwhelming sensation. "Oh my god, I'm gonna cum!" He cries out as his nails dig into your skin. "Gonna fill you up, make you mine baby," He lets out one last dirty remark before coming undone.
His body folds forward by instinct, wrapping his arms around your body as his cum warms you up from the inside out. "Oh baby," his lips quiver as he nuzzles his face into your neck.
"Shh, it's okay," you pat his head as the warmth envelops your body. He lets out little sobs from the overwhelming experience, his body trembling in your arms. He mumbles a bunch of incoherent lewd words as he nuzzles into your chest. "You did good baby," you stroke his hair back. Jisung can't help but smile as he cuddles into you, the rush of feel-good hormones taking over his body.
"I love you," he murmurs as his eyes flutter shut. "My mate,"
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moonchild-in-blue · 1 month ago
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Massive thank you to you and everyone else who calls out how shitty it is to get mad at peoples interpretations. Sleep tokens music is romantic. Its also toxic. These statements can coexist. Its not your business if someone plays bloodsport or vore or hell even atlantic at their wedding. Youre not them, you dont know what the music means to them. If you see a weird take just roll your eyes and move on, its not a big deal. Absolutely sick and fucking tired of all these "why are you calling this romantic/sexy? Youre stupid and a terrible person!" takes like fucking relax. Media literacy is important yes. Respecting that this music is dark and personal to vessel is also important. Same goes for respecting how people relate to the music in dark ways. But as long as people are not saying things directly to vessel or fans about how their individual trauma is sexy then just chill out and respect peoples different interpretations. It sucks that i cant talk about how i view certain songs without being called horrible things and having really fucked up vitriol aimed at me. Yall need to grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Im not thinking of your personal shit when i call a certain song romantic/sexy, i dont even know you, sometimes im thinking of my own trauma actually lol. Lets all discuss this music maturely where we respect each other and what each of us as individuals bring to the table for interpretation, stop making this fandom toxic as hell for anyone who doesnt agree 100% with your own interpretation. (Also the whole "youre not allowed to say this song is romantic/sexy" thing is very dismissive of some peoples trauma in itself, it ignores how messy someones feelings toward their abusers/toxic partners can be. Pretty fucked up to call a trauma survivor stupid or a terrible person because a song reminds them of their positive feelings towards someone who hurt them) Anyways yeah, just tired of people being so harsh because they refuse to see other peoples perspectives. I genuinely think one of the most toxic aspects of this fandom is the vitriol over different interpretations, people act like outright children at times with it im ngl, especially with more sexual discussions. It also feels infantilizing towards vessel at times, hes a grown adult who put romantic/sexy elements in his music and he doesnt need people trying to protect him from those themes. Im rambling but this stuff pisses me off so much, this fandom needs to do better
Context post for the clueless ones - regarding my tags/replies
Here's the thing - I've been in fandoms for many, many, MANY years. This type of discussion isn't anything new nor unique to Sleep Token, but it sure does make a comeback quite often. It's tiring to keep repeating the same things over and over, but that's what fandom is all about isn't it?
Someone needs to say something, and I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations like these. Something something, build your own community, be the change you wanna see, etc etc.
I've said pretty much everything I wanna say already under that post, but for the sake of clarity, and because I can't keep my mouth shut apparently -
Under the cut for length - you know the drill:
Music is art. And art is subjective. Meaning, each individual will have their own personal connection and interpretation of a given piece of art, which in this case is Sleep Token's music.
Did Vessel write the songs with a certain intent or meaning? Most likely yes! It's not hard to connect the dots and guess what events/emotions might've transpired and served as inspiration for them (accuracy to personal life is irrelevant and none of our business, but it's also no rocket science to understand what's been said).
Can we establish a base meaning for any given song, or better, can we have a general consensus of what a song is about based on its lyrics and themes? Absolutely! Not every song is like that, but we can all agree there's a lot of recurring themes of past relationships and mental health struggles.
Is it wrong to diminish the songs to one basic element (eg. the sexual undertones) and/or completely disregard the bigger, more important theme? I'd say it is.
Giving Atlantic as an example (which as a lot of you know, is my most favourite song of them and very dear to me): this one has some very blatant references to suicide and depression. Regardless of whether it is based on irl events or not (none of our business!!!), it is extremely heavy and emotionally charged. I find it incredibly disrespectful when people say random stuff during the rituals when he plays this one.
Or for example, how certain people reduce Sleep Token to "baby making metal", instead of acknowledging the insane (insane!) variety of genres and the profound lyricism they present.
Should we limit our views, and by extension, those of others, to surface-level interpretation, without allowing room for different views and interpretations, either fictional lore based or not? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Vessel himself said to "not restrict ourselves to labels or genres because music transcends it all" (paraphrasing here). It's literally their whole thing. It's very hypocritical to be shouting from the rooftops about "media literacy" and assuming people are stupid or idiots for not understanding the basic, surface-level meaning of a song, when Vessel himself constantly writes in metaphors and half-truths.
I've touched on this a lifetime ago on one of my analysis, but if you *actually* look at the lyrics, you'll realise Vessel hardly ever says what he means. There's always something else behind his words, something he purposefully keeps hidden. It really sneaks upon you sometimes! I'm over a year in and I still find something new everyday on their music. That man has a way to weave in a hundred and one statements under a single sentence, that is just truly beautiful to study.
Is, say, The Love You Want, about a man (Vessel) mourning the fact that his love isn't reciprocated? Yeah! Is it about someone who, despite knowing they can never receive from their lover the attention and affection and care they want, will stay by their side anyways? It is!
Is it about bitterness, spiteful accusations aimed at the one person who should love you fully? Or a reflection of how little self-regard the singer has, so much that they are willingly and actively choosing to stay in a sinking one-sided relationship, because the alternative is too painful to bare? Can you flip the switch and see it as someone who is obsessively pursuing another person, and painting themselves as a victim? All of this, yes!
You can even eliminate the romantic aspect all together and apply it to a relationship with the self (past or future, or an alter ego), or a parental figure. The options are endless. There isn't one universal truth when it comes to music, and as such, all of these takes are 100% correct.
Many statements can be true at the same time - it doesn't make one more true or correct than the other. Simply different. The way we connect with music is very much dictated by our own life experiences, and no two people have lived the exact same life.
Can you prefer a certain way to look at a song, or completely disagree with certain takes? Absolutely! I know I sure as hell do! That's normal and expected and part of the fun in being in a community such as ours. More people means more ways to look at a song - isn't that just wonderful?!
Now, this is very obvious for most of us, but some people, especially in the younger rage, have been taught to look at things in a very black and white way. Not to be that person, but the truth is that the rise in awareness of social issues and "pc-ness", is slowly starting to eliminate the possibility of things being flawed and nuanced.
If you're wrong, you're awful. If you're right, you're obnoxious. Made a mistake? Get cancelled. Grow from your mistakes, but not like that. Learn from your actions, but change your whole personality in a day otherwise you're problematic.
You know what I mean.
Life isn't black and white. Art isn't black and white. Music isn't black and white. What may seem like a toxic, dark, obsessive depiction of a relationship to you, might translate to the deepest and most truest of loves to me. I can acknowledge something is Not Right, while still drawing my own conclusions.
Is Blood Sport a sad af song? Yeah! Definitely not the first thing I'd think of when in a happy relationship. But maybe that's the point. And maybe I do. And that's okay, and none of anyone's business. "Okay but The Apparition isn't a good example of a healthy and romantic-" TO YOU! Maybe that's what love looks like to me! Maybe I just happen to be into it! And what about it?
Maybe to me love comes with all the ugly sides too. The violence, the despair, the self-doubt. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't think? I highly doubt Vessel would go 🗣️ "WRONG! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! >:::(", so why would you?
You can, and should, discuss the songs with others! Maybe some people do genuinely need a fresh pair of eyes to help them get to the juicy core of the songs - that's why we're here! To discuss, and exchange ideas! You can, and should, call people out when their engagement with the music is being harmful to others (joking and laughing during Missing Limbs? No bueno. Speculating about Vessel's personal life? VERY no bueno. Choosing a potentially weird song to walk down the aisle? None of your business + not your wedding + you weren't even invited + none of your business. Notice how I've been repeating that. Notice again).
You shouldn't, however, shame and ridicule others for having different views from you.
I think, rather than engaging in pointless discussions and start accusing people of being this or that, we should all exercise a little "don't like? scroll past". Is it harming you or others? No? Then scroll past! Is it an awful, truly horrendous take about something you're really passionate about? Okay! Disgusting! Scroll past! Good for them! 👍
Also - keep an open mind. We're all doing this living businesse for the first time, no one holds all the answers to everything. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to say the wrong thing and backtrack. It's okay to make a mistake and learn and grow.
You know what's not okay? Being a dick to others because the thing you like is being misinterpreted. It's hard, I know!!! You can block people! You can scroll past! You can look at pictures of your favourite vessel and cleanse your brain!!!! I know I do!!!!!
And this is a last afterthought but - you don't get to complain about the fandom you're in if you're doing nothing to change that. I see many, maaaaany of you bitch about this and that, while having 0 engagement aside from the bitching. Like?? Maybe if you spent more time reblogging cool art or gifs and less time whining about literally everything, this would be a much more pleasant space!! And I DO get to be a little petty here because I sure do try my best to make this a fun and nice community. I am allowed a little bitching 😌
Anyways, tl/dr: don't be a dick; don't like - don't engage; keep an open mind; gaze upon the vessels. Peace and love yall 💙💫
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robinsnest2111 · 21 days ago
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ngl putting my phone down and rawdogging the neverending spiralling thoughts at night when I'm not 100% bone tired and milliseconds from passing out is excruciating :/
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burningcomputerpersona · 4 months ago
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what an incredible fucking show
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toiletshit · 2 months ago
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me: too lazy to connect graphic tablet to laptop
also me: traces some official togepi art and makes it naked
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lovinglin · 1 year ago
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My best bet in lore posting is if I just don't think abt it too much
#aka lemme just ramble without thought. don't mind how messy my thoughts might get here#♥️ we're going overdrive!#< it's abt them. anyway#do u think he'd feel guilty the first few months of them being together?#bc there's a part of him that's happy and thankful for being with someone so wonderful yet he can't help but feel guilt over subjecting her#-into his problems? like the restless/sleepless nights and the nightmares and the breakdowns and the accidents where he hurts her?#he knows he's not perfect. not every relationship is perfect at all. but sometimes he feels like he's too far gone to be “fixed” anymore#that this is how he's grown to survive and it'll always stay that way. there's so much learning and unlearning to do#he's probably really thankful she's so patient though. even through everything. she always keeps saying they'll make things work#his tendencies and problems are a lot more visible- they show more easily through his actions and his words. and she works and adjust to-#-that in whatever way she can. but then what about her? when you turn to her- it almost looks like she doesn't have problems at all#but she does. and maybe her silence in itself is a problem#maybe her hurt is more quiet. more discreet. more subtle and less obvious. but that doesn't mean it's not there#maybe it's the distant stares or her lack of input. or the inconsistent meals or how tired she can get#she does get nightmares too. but maybe it's more of how she's already crying and hesitating to wake him up because she knows he doesn't get#-enough sleep as it is and she doesn't wanna pile onto him with her problems#maybe it's the self-isolation of locking herself in the bathroom and wanting to claw at her skin because of how uncomfortable she feels#the phantom pains on her back and the times she doesn't want to be touched because it's a level of discomfort that she can't describe#and it hurts just as badly for him because he Doesn't Know what to do. other than stay at a distance and use his words#hm. I dunno. these two just has me thinking a lot
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akuma-tenshi · 7 months ago
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i made my idv news sideblog victor-themed bc i thought it'd be cute and silly, oh haha look it's victor delivering the mail
but then one of my mutuals referred to me as victor when talking about the sideblog and made me realise i might(?????) kin him. gonna need 3 - 5 business days to figure this out please hold
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dawnthefluffyduck · 1 year ago
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ranger-kellyn · 7 months ago
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it's like i keep telling myself i'm going to go to the single's event tomorrow at the lesbian bar but also................://////////
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watery-melon-baller · 1 year ago
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what if you were a girl trying to change her major and you wanted to take a class but your schedule from hell said no. and you were also on the verge of a mental breakdown
#i want. to change my major#but I don't know how much I will like this new major and I am hesitant to just jump right in and start it#so I was like ah I should take a class from the new major along with my old major classes#so if I like my current/old major I can keep going with it#and if I like the new major then I actually know#that way I'm not going in blind and risking hating it especially this new major I'm trying is a difficult major#but the only way to take this specific class is to drop the class with my favorite teacher in it :(#i don't even know. if I like my major or not. Like maybe I just do. Idk I'm like. It's okay but I'm not passionate about it#I don't know what the fuck I wanna do#i could take this other class at 9am that's super gross I guess#but then that leaves me with a single hour lecture in the middle of the afternoon on Thursday#and I know me. there's a very high chance I will just skip it and sleep in#Or I could just continue with my current classes#But then either I A. Do the sample next semester which is bad bc if I already hate my major I don't wanna keep doing it next semester#Or B. I immediately switch my major and go in blind which I don't wanna do either in case I hate that too!#Also issue with the 9am class: it's a lot of calc and physics and I don't. Know physics lmao#the class where I have to drop my fav teacher has subjects I'm a lot more familiar/comfortable with so I'd rather do that#i really like my teacher tho she's my fav :(#and my only other option besides the fav teacher is a mystery professor so idk if she's any good#sigh.#either I continue with current classes#drop the fav teacher to get into the class I want and risk having a sucky teacher for that other second class#or I just take my chances with the 9am and hope my lack of physics doesn't completely fail me#I don't know what to do my schedule sucks so much#hnfffffffgggggg#i really wanna take the new major class but I don't know if I want to drop the other class with my fav teacher#this is super vague and confusing but I'm trying not to give out too many details#i have like. A week and a half to decide and I'm super stressed about it so not fun for me#i might try and find out what the other teacher is like beforehand but I just worry#lilac post
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my dad brought home a stray kitten 😑
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arolesbianism · 11 months ago
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So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing
#rat rambles#oni posting#for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files#the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out#I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space#I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed#and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies#probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow#itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas#one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing#also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know#their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation#but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there#god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad#btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it#and I desperately need to view it I need to view it#also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier#also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer#(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought)#but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it#again Im mostly just hunting for lore#hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department#maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont)#man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol#in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps#I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit#idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with#Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years#which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable#albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids
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mythicalcoolkid · 2 years ago
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After too many years here I've final what hornets' nests I am not brave enough to kick
#m/cc#thought about making a certain post and decided... no... I would rather not#I am not prepared for responses to that. it might actually kill me#specifically it was:#'going gluten/dairy/food dye-free CAN improve certain neurodevelopmental things but it cannot 'cure' autism/ADHD/Tourette's'#I already know I'd get vitriol both from people claiming I think autism comes from gluten or 'needs cured' because they can't read the post#and that I'm trying to trick everyone into going gluten-free because Toxins or something and lying about a connection#(even though (neuro)dev disorders can be made worse by flaring immune issues like - oh I don't know - undiagnosed gluten intolerance?#hypersensitivity to certain food dyes?#we already know autism and ADHD in particular have HUGE correlations with gastro and immune issues#which is why some mommy bloggers genuinely do see symptom improvement from diet changes)#and from people saying 'um actually no-gluten DID cure my nephew's ADHD?? the science is on our side/big gluten is covering up the research#and I don't know if I could handle dozens of people per day telling me I'm a science denier AND a eugenist from both sides#I am simply. ADHD. and autistic. and incredibly interested in the wild amount of comorbid physical disorders that correlate with these#autoimmune and gastro issues but also loose/hypermobile joints; epilepsy; delayed sleep phase disorder; COPD; skin conditions#it's so fascinating to me and provides a huge chunk of data to run with re: the gut-brain axis#whether [neurodev] causes [other]/[other] causes [neurodev] or an underlying thing causes both is unknown#but honestly with the huge interest in the gut-brain axis and microbiome in the past decade or so#I think we're going to see a lot more research in the next thirty or forty years examining physical comorbidities with neurodev stuff#I'm probably not gonna link to research because I don't wanna just start the war anyway and I'm too tired to go back and find the articles#but the TL;DR of the tags is neurodev stuff isn't caused by gluten intolerance but if you're unknowingly aggravating a gluten intolerance#you're probably not gonna feel great and it's gonna make your symptoms worse because of the effect it has on your body#it's like a very mild long-term allergic reaction and yeah if you get rid of that it'll improve other areas (e.g. sleep cycle; irritability#so of Course it's gonna improve a bunch of things-that-get-worse-with-poor-sleep/decreased-stress-tolerance#if you were always sitting on a slightly uncomfortable chair you'd probably do a lot better if I switched the chair#just because you can focus better or you didn't know the chair was uncomfortable doesn't mean it caused your ADHD#also in this case the chair affects your hormone levels and immune response and what chemicals accidentally leak into your bloodstream#if you're interested look it up there's been a Ton of research on correlations of specific physical issues with neurodev in recent years
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supercantaloupe · 2 years ago
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went to bed later than i wanted. woke up way earlier than i expected (i didn't have a clock in my room tho so i just got up i didn't realize it was 7:30...)
also i had an unpleasant dream and when i tried to put my contacts in this morning they Burned Like Hell. i have no idea why that's never happened before?? i just put on my glasses instead but like. waste of a pair of contacts...what the hell
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#i dunno what i planned to do today. but it wasnt spening 8am-5.30pm weighing samples#just like i didnt plant to spend 11am-6.30pm yesterday weighing samples. but sometimes the universe doesnt let u choose#mostly i feel bad that our undergrad had to do all that time with me when she has all her class work as well and#like i dont care abt the project and ive been with it every step of the way. it was nice talking with her tho#fucking exhausting bc i talked the ENTIRE TIME bc i cant handle lulls in conversation. but ive been assured im not annoying so whatever#god. my boss asked me yesterday if id gotten to relax this last week and its like. i mean compared to the fucking month ive had? yes#but probably not by the standards of a normal person. i definitely havent been getting enough sleep#and tomorrow i habe to go in at 8 and in theory im supposed to go to a retirement party tomorrow at noon#and the guy is a rambler so who knos how long ill b there. and im already socially drained. thrn monday i should start with my other#project again. but i habe to check the machine and im just gonna have to go full on no breaks until mid may#so whej will i get a break? in theory after may 14th. so fucking frustrating#and im not mad at anyone specifically. i just hate this project and cant wait to quit and move#so now im gonna fucking draw more too earnest narut0 fanart and avoid the things i should b doing#bc im fuckine exhausted. literally i was standinf from 9.30 to 3pm with not breaks bc idk i didnt look at the time#and im not running today apparently bc im too tired and the sun is gonna set in 20min >:-[#ay ay ay. 2023 my year of hatred and rage#wah. i don't wanna drive tomorrow 😫#unrelated
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