#this is mainly about ppl getting so worked up that they felt the need to send anon hate to certain accounts btw

[purpurussy]

can i just say something potentially controversial yet brave for a second

i really do not understand why there is a problem with people posting their little dangender memes 😬 like as long as it's confined to its own corner of tumblr, why is it a problem for people to project onto their fav internet microcelebrity? isn't that what everyone here is doing to some extent at the end of the day?

now if people were tagging him, trying to bring this to his attention, or god forbid confronting him with this stuff in a live setting/m&g or whatever then yeah, that would be deeply inappropriate and crossing a line. but i honestly dont get why it's an issue if youre just saying whatever's in your heart on your little tumblr blog, and dan would have to go out of his way lurking to find these posts.

i think maybe this has to do with me being new in this space again, like i wasn't there during the speculation era of the mid 2010s so maybe that's why i don't get the controversy? i just don't understand why there's now this sort of double standard. like why is it universally considered okay to get excited about a phan hard launch on here, but getting excited about dan talking more openly about gender gets you anon hate? i really don't understand this im sorry it might be because im lacking the history here but idgi.

i think if someone just personally isnt interested in all this stuff that's completely fine! i absolutely understand that for some people it's just not interesting/something that they're not comfortable with. but like it's not hard to curate your experience on this platform. i do not see how any of this is a problem. instead of sending people anon hate perhaps consider that it's not that serious and you can just block/block tags/unfollow and move on <3

personally tho i think it's fun that people are celebrating his "formless blob"-ness and seeing themselves in him. also this is dan and phil tumblr lmao we are all cringe here

[frieschan]

bangtan with an idol gf // bts hcs

➳ member/s featured: kim namjoon, kim seokjin, min yoongi, jung hoseok, park jimin, kim taehyung, jeon jungkook x f! reader (separate)

➳ unrequested | headcanons // fluff/crack

➳ TW:

➳ summary: how would our bangtan boys be like with a girlfriend who is a fellow idol?

➳ AN: decided for a small break between workin' on querencia, if you have the time, pls check it out here! its a hybrid ot7 x m reader fic :) i hope more ppl would like it since its mainly my first time to create a full story.

➳ extra info: y/n's filler name will be yona as an abbreviation from 'your name' (yona), she is also around the age as vmin except older than the V

—KIM NAMJOON ; rap monster !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: yojoon

-ˋˏ ღ library dates are a must, or even a hole in the wall cafe/library

-ˋˏ ღ listening to him ramble about a new book he read because he's ur baby

-ˋˏ ღ having plant kids that the both of u post about

-ˋˏ ღ you usually have to drive for him or the two of you bike to your destination, a few fans catching the two of you

-ˋˏ ღ he loves writing lyrics or poems about or for you, actually some of his songs are about you

-ˋˏ ღ cleaning after him was part of your resume in becoming his girlfriend.

-ˋˏ ღ he's broken so much shit in your house it's not even funny

-ˋˏ ღ he's your clumsy little boy

-ˋˏ ღ he also has rizz. very good rizz

-ˋˏ ღ always knowing when you're nervous around him with that fat brain of his (smart boy also)

-ˋˏ ღ he always gets so strained as a leader of the biggest kpop group and then having to translate for his brothers, he ends up just collapsing to you and sleeping for a while to recharge his battery

-ˋˏ ღ sometimes you think about the time he brought his bike inside his producing room

-ˋˏ ღ "jagi that's not a good idea-"

-ˋˏ ღ "army needs to see my bike!"

-ˋˏ ღ sometimes he doesnt even understand his strength cuz one time when you were on his favorite spot on the couch, he picked you up so fast

-ˋˏ ღ HIS FACE WAS SO SHOCKED

-ˋˏ ღ "YAH! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?"

-ˋˏ ღ "Why are you so light? Are you sure you're eating enough?"

-ˋˏ ღ "DID YOU FORGET YOU GO TO THE GYM ALMOST EVERYDAY?"

-ˋˏ ღ you and bts work together on babysitting namjoon always

-ˋˏ ღ you also know about the fact he watches porn.. a lot

—KIM SEOKJIN ; jin !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: jinna

-ˋˏ ღ you two are such a handful oh my god

-ˋˏ ღ even though he's the oldest, he acts like a baby with you and whines about everything

-ˋˏ ღ but then he can also baby you

-ˋˏ ღ he loves feeding you food or cooking with you on camera

-ˋˏ ღ He has 'Eat Jin' while you have 'Cook Yona' which is honestly really cute omg

-ˋˏ ღ whatever you cooked on Cook Yona, Jin would mukbang it in Eat Jin, sometimes he even shared! (barely)

-ˋˏ ღ you honestly love trying to fatten him up cause he's a sucker for food

-ˋˏ ღ usually once you guys are full, it's either you start cleaning and he starts gaming or other way around

-ˋˏ ღ one of your cute habits is whenever his break cheeks show up, you pinch them a lot

-ˋˏ ღ also he scolds (raps) you like every other member

-ˋˏ ღ you were with that one cooking episode where jungkook and taehyung were cooking, you felt so bad for them but it was hilarious to watch

-ˋˏ ღ whenever he games, you always make little snacks for him because you know he gets really mad at the game but its even worse when hes on an empty stomach (you dont want his yelling to disturb your sugar gliders)

-ˋˏ ღ you like to have jungkook over sometimes so he can play with jin since you THOUGHT that would make him yell less (no the yelling doubled.)

-ˋˏ ღ you recorded the two of them playing together and caught jin smacking jungkook for snatching his food (IT WAS FOR THE BOTH OF THEM.)

-ˋˏ ღ just dance nights are very common for the two of you after that one in the soop episode

-ˋˏ ღ fishing dates are suddenly also a thing now because he said so

-ˋˏ ღ his dad jokes make you sob on the inside, but then again the boys think of you as their mom since you worry your head off like one

-ˋˏ ღ "JAGI, IS KOOKIE OKAY?!"

-ˋˏ ღ "that brat is fine, he does dumb stuff a lot"

—MIN YOONGI ; suga !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: yoona

-ˋˏ ღ to start this off, you bullied yoongi with the others.

-ˋˏ ღ BUT ITS REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE HIS REACTIONS ARE HYSTERICAL

-ˋˏ ღ YooNa moments are really hard to catch on camera, because yoongi has a preference on keeping a lot of your vulnerable moments private but when they do come up, THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE A KDRAMA

-ˋˏ ღ there was this one scenario, both of your kpop groups were attending an event and were sat next to eachother (totally not on purpose uhuh)

-ˋˏ ღ the thing was, your company failed to think that your outfit wouldn't give you enough warmth, and the even was out in the open so you were freezing to death (BRUH)

-ˋˏ ღ and yoongles was kind enough to shrug off his coat and put it over your shoulders

-ˋˏ ღ he got rewarded with a kiss in private :)

-ˋˏ ღ whenever he has birthday lives, you're always there with him or well- you're in every live he has

-ˋˏ ღ he was wearing some goofy shades and a party hat while you were just watching

-ˋˏ ღ "you look like a clown, pabo (fool)"

-ˋˏ ღ "someone doesn't want cake"

-ˋˏ ღ you both glared at eachother after, even though you couldn't even see his eyes

-ˋˏ ღ the armies were just laughing their asses off in the chat

-ˋˏ ღ anyway, you honestly love his gummy little smile or the way he's an old man in a young body

-ˋˏ ღ your relationship reflects that statement, the both of you prefer being traditional most of the time

-ˋˏ ღ sure he loves watching movies for hours and taking a nap, but nothing would ever beat just watching the moon together

-ˋˏ ღ when he was nervous about releasing his first album, you were with him every step of the way! the production of music, drafting of ideas, the photoshoots

-ˋˏ ღ when you were gone for months on end because of a tour and press conference across the world, yoongi was absolutely depressed

-ˋˏ ღ he ended up releasing his frustration through music specifically, so far away that featured Suran

-ˋˏ ღ when you listened to it, your heart honestly shattered

-ˋˏ ღ that day, you promised yourself that you would always be with Yoongi, you will never be far from him for over 2 months, it was what made your relationship grow so much

-ˋˏ ღ you had seen every side of him, the raw energy of agustD, the creative and sweet Suga, then the truthful and reflecting Min Yoongi

-ˋˏ ღ and he had seen every part of you, Yona's love for her fans, and Y/N's truth

-ˋˏ ღ the both of you are absolutely in love, soulmates even

-ˋˏ ღ everyone is convinced that the two of you were made for eachother

-ˋˏ ღ OKAY BACK TO CRACK

-ˋˏ ღ the both of you love arguing with eachother as a joke and he just starts being a baby

-ˋˏ ღ you remember the one time you stole his last tangerine and he was so upset (not really but he wanted to be petty) that he THEN finished all the ice cream in your freezer

-ˋˏ ღ yes you ranted about this to your fans and yoongi heard, so he just walked up to you and started clinging onto you to annoy you

-ˋˏ ღ "YAH! Get off you man-child!"

-ˋˏ ღ "What if I say no"

-ˋˏ ღ "god!"

-ˋˏ ღ "Yes?"

-ˋˏ ღ you hated him being such a smart ass too but like it's okay i guess....

-ˋˏ ღ one time you slapped cat ears on his head and he was just flabbergasted while staring at you

-ˋˏ ღ (you snapped pics so fast and sent them to the guys)

-ˋˏ ღ ANYWAY you bullied him by constantly calling him cute and whatever (maybe even ahjussi)

-ˋˏ ღ ok but then he calls you a grandma too

-ˋˏ ღ sitting on his lap or on his sofa while he produces music is really calming for u

-ˋˏ ღ just baskin in eachothers presence <3

—JUNG HOSEOK ; j-hope !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: yo-hope

-ˋˏ ღ he's your sunshine and you're his moon omg

-ˋˏ ღ it was such a 'sunshine and the moon that protects it' trope and the fans loved it

-ˋˏ ღ hobi was always there to cheer you up after a really stressful day at work and you loved him so much for it

-ˋˏ ღ it was absolutely amazing to come home to him after a bad day since he knew what to do to cheer u up and make u happyyy

-ˋˏ ღ when some antis were hating him, you couldn't care less if you had gotten backlash, you defended him in every way you could

-ˋˏ ღ at this point, hobi was all you could ever care about since the two of you had supported one another since day one

-ˋˏ ღ when you two announced the two of you were together, the positivity that came out was overwhelming and the both of you were absolutely overjoyed with it

-ˋˏ ღ yo-hope was one of the favorite ships in the k-pop community because of the contrast between the two of you

-ˋˏ ღ you were actually the one that got hobi to start doing lives again!!! you always encouraged him and made sure he heard the things youd end your live on

-ˋˏ ღ "Okay guys, if Hobi ever goes on live, please show him as much support and love you can! for me!"

-ˋˏ ღ and on hobi's first live, you were there and made sure to check if some of your fans had actually showed support and sure enough, it was full of usernames that were referencing your kpop group

-ˋˏ ღ you and hobi are almost inseparable unless absolutely necessary because whenever you arent around, sweet boy feels so incomplete

-ˋˏ ღ there are like hundreds of compilations of Yo-Hope moments, a lot of the time you would just walk up to hobi and cling on him cause you need your charger

-ˋˏ ღ HIS JOY IS YOUR JOY

-ˋˏ ღ You love watching the boys kinda just grab hobi and hug him too, cuz he really is bangtan's sunshine

-ˋˏ ღ when the maknaes mess around with hobi, you swear hobi should be in the maknae line

-ˋˏ ღ whenever hobi is about to collapse laughing, you always catch him while laughing yourself (you cant deny it, there are 10 minute compilations of it)

-ˋˏ ღ you know when he has his moments when he's really stressed and down, overthinking about a lot, but you're always there to keep him up

-ˋˏ ღ you'll always be his moon, his partner, his soulmate :)

-ˋˏ ღ okay not going to lie, you and yoongi have beef over who gets jhope more (literally glaring at eachother from across the room)

-ˋˏ ღ it's okay though! the both of u decided to glare at anyone who messes with hobi

-ˋˏ ღ (i'm totally not buttering u guys up bcuz jimin's hcs r so funny)

-ˋˏ ღ Jack in the Box was a wild experience for you, Jay was a whole other entity when you watched him perform

-ˋˏ ღ hobi wanted to show armies that he wasn't all smiles and that he also struggled, YOU WERE ALL FOR IT!!!!

—PARK JIMIN ; jimin !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: yomin

-ˋˏ ღ jimin.. the punching bag of bangtan for the amount of funny and embarrassing stuns he has pulled

-ˋˏ ღ the both of you are such lover girl x lover boy though

-ˋˏ ღ jimin could care less about the cameras around, he wants his baby!! the editors can deal with cutting it out!!!!

-ˋˏ ღ he loves to just like.. snatch you away from everyone and like keep you on his lap

-ˋˏ ღ "jimin, can I get off-"

-ˋˏ ღ "No"

-ˋˏ ღ In terms of man child-ness, he and taehyung are verrryyy close

-ˋˏ ღ sometimes the three of you hangout, taehyung ends up being like the sibling you bring around while you and your s/o go out and buying the kid so much food

-ˋˏ ღ at this point, you don't know if taehyung comes for the food or for the companionship BUT ANYWAY back to jimin

-ˋˏ ღ you and jimin act like such a married couple (hes totally not planning to propose uhuh mhm yessir on god)

-ˋˏ ღ the two of you bicker and then end up having a whole kdrama scene and I think the other BTS members are really tired of it but who cares you two love eachother

-ˋˏ ღ the way you two guys met was the funniest part

-ˋˏ ღ you and him were hosting together, and while interviewing someone at a table and sitting down, jimin immediately fell down on live

-ˋˏ ღ you were fighting for your life to not laugh while the interviewee was just there flabbergasted

-ˋˏ ღ that's how you two became such a lover girl and lover boy couple

-ˋˏ ღ when his new album came out, he absolutely demanded you would make a cameo in the 'Like Crazy' mv and you ended up in it

-ˋˏ ღ so now you're in the theories for the music video but like it's okay cause they're entertaining

-ˋˏ ღ jimin probably reads fanfics of YoMin and he loves to be shameless about it when he's with you.. what a brat

-ˋˏ ღ speaking about brat, he has such an attitude sometimes oh my god

-ˋˏ ღ out of everyone, he also has such a strong satoori and it's funny and scary at the same time

-ˋˏ ღ HE SOUNDS SO CONDESCENDING- he loves using it when a guy tries harrassing you while the both of you are out

-ˋˏ ღ You know that one video with Taehyung and Jimin together, and Jimin starts threatening you in Satoori? Yeah imagine that 💀

-ˋˏ ღ he's so mean sometimes too I swear- he loves teasing and bullying you

-ˋˏ ღ In the name of your stans, you will beat Jimin up one day, just not today

-ˋˏ ღ when the both of you are live and you find yourself without your indoor slippers he's yelling at you like:

-ˋˏ ღ "WEAR YOUR SLIPPERS PROPERLY"

-ˋˏ ღ "URUSAI (SHUT UP IN JAPANESE FOR SOME REASON?)"

-ˋˏ ღ The armies and stans were just watching this happen like it was normal. They're all used to how you and Jimin are like when the two of you are together

-ˋˏ ღ They saw you smack jimin and then Jimin stared at the camera with his mouth agape

-ˋˏ ღ "ARMYYY SHE JUST HIT ME"

-ˋˏ ღ and then the messages were like "BEAT HIM UP Y/N" "GO OFF QUEEN" "MOREEEEEE 🤾🏻‍♀️🤾🏻‍♀️" "let her COOK"

-ˋˏ ღ and suddenly jimin was lying down on the floor while you scrolled on your phone

-ˋˏ ღ yeah you made him beg for forgiveness

—KIM TAEHYUNG ; V !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: taena

-ˋˏ ღ "tan-ahh don't keep Y/N all to yourself!!"

-ˋˏ ღ you were yeontan's momma ever since you and taehyung got together and it was obvious who was tannie's favorite

-ˋˏ ღ you loved to take pictures with yeontan and post it on social media, showing the world the adorable teacup pom with his popular momma! all with taehyung's permission of course

-ˋˏ ღ in one of taehyung's very much rare lives, the three of you were in bed with acoustic music playing in the back

-ˋˏ ღ though the live was very short, armies could fully see the love and admiration taehyung had for you

-ˋˏ ღ actually- he even decided to kiss you in front of the cam 😭

-ˋˏ ღ the next day, the clip was all over social media, taehyung personally thinking they're just overreacting about the whole ordeal like he's not one of the most powerful men in Korea 💀💀

-ˋˏ ღ but tae is your baby tbh (he's the goofy little dork in the relationship and you have to take care of him)

-ˋˏ ღ taehyung has this one cute habit where if he goes on live, he HAS to talk about your idol career or you in general at least.. like three times

-ˋˏ ღ everyone needs to know the beauty of Korea is his of course!!

-ˋˏ ღ you honestly love listening to his deep husky voice in their songs.. you love all of them but nothing beats taehyung's solo songs for you (they are in your everyday playlist)

-ˋˏ ღ the both of you love to wear matching outfits when you have to go out, and the fans go wild for it!

-ˋˏ ღ I swear to god you've seen a shirt with a picture of u and taehyung matching on it 😭

-ˋˏ ღ whenever your schedules let you, the three of you like to go out in the early morning to walk around the empty streets of seoul like a little family

-ˋˏ ღ this doesnt stop taehyung from wanting 3-5 kids in the future though

-ˋˏ ღ you and taehyung absolutely value time together since the both of you are constantly doing someone with their idol career, but at the end of the day

-ˋˏ ღ the both of you still lay in the same bed just admiring eachother

-ˋˏ ღ taehyung maybe locking yeontan out of the room if he was feeling a bit frisky that night

-ˋˏ ღ but anyway, this little dork loves showing you the random stuff he buys and it's honestly concerning and funny at the same time

-ˋˏ ღ and he's so freaking blunt about it omfg

-ˋˏ ღ "look at that chair with an ass on it" "tae, jagi, what the fu-"

-ˋˏ ღ AND THE HAS LIKE 10 RAMEN COOKERS IN HIS HOUSE HELP SAVE Y/N

-ˋˏ ღ even then, he still wants you to cook for him cause he's a lil baby that can't take care of himself omg

-ˋˏ ღ taehyung loves to abuse his tata mic face on you and it makes it so hard to say no to him, the situation goes like:

-ˋˏ ღ "Jagi, I want a bread maker"

-ˋˏ ღ "Tae, no, why in the name of Bang-PD would we need a bread maker??"

-ˋˏ ღ *tata mic face*

-ˋˏ ღ "oh my god- you are such a baby, fine ugh"

-ˋˏ ღ tae also has this one habit of like making up his own language or something, and the fact that you've spent years with him and as his soulmate, you are his translator alongside Suga

-ˋˏ ღ you find it absolutely endearing and adorable though

-ˋˏ ღ you know how taehyung is blunt yeah? he has said with a straight face before the following:

-ˋˏ ღ "If this idol thing doesn't work out for us, we should become a farm family and have an army of 5 kids and then an army of chickens to attack jimin-shi when he visits us"

-ˋˏ ღ lord have mercy on Y/N- WAIT 5 KIDS? 💀

—JEON JUNGKOOK ; jungkook !

-ˋˏ ღ shipname: yokook

-ˋˏ ღ the only thing he likes about the two of you being idols is that the both of you have a gigantic privilege

-ˋˏ ღ he absolutely hates the fact that the two of you lack privacy and the hate that comes from some 'army' (bruh)

-ˋˏ ღ other than that, he still is absolutely in love with you, full of adoration in his adorable doe eyes

-ˋˏ ღ you know how he's the ambassador of Calvin Klein? You're also an ambassador so CK decided a couple shoot with the both of you would be good coverage for them

-ˋˏ ღ another pro about the couple shoot is that you can make it clear to your fans that the both of you are very much devoted to each other

-ˋˏ ღ weekly training together is a must! an absolute must!!! or else kookie will get sulky and sad for the rest of the week and cry to bam or something

-ˋˏ ღ on one of his late night lives, you had walked into the room while he was talking to army, he had the galaxy doohickey on and a candle next to him

-ˋˏ ღ "hi tokki" you greeted him with a soft smile

-ˋˏ ღ "noona!" he immediately took his attention off the chat to walk to you and give you a kiss

-ˋˏ ღ the army were going crazy in chat with "YOKOOK!!" "MY SHIP SAILED" "Love to YoKook from ___!! <3"

-ˋˏ ღ after the small kiss the both of you sat on the couch and you greet the army with a wave and lazy grin

-ˋˏ ღ you and jungkook made some small talk while some music played on the tv, you could only assume that he was doing some karaoke before you got home

-ˋˏ ღ while the two of you talked, you caught a glimpse from chat that includes "Kookie looks so inlove with her🥺🥺", "He grew up so fast and now he has an amazing gf 😭", "His eyes tell so much!!!!"

-ˋˏ ღ the smile that appeared on your face couldn't be contained, the moment jungkook saw your smile, he turned to look at the source and he couldn't help but smile himself at all the comments

-ˋˏ ღ "Thank you for all the support, Army. I'll always hold Army, BTS, and Y/N close to my heart"

-ˋˏ ღ honestly you made him pull out the slight busan accent (its so hot bruh wtf the little sigh at the end) and you loved the way it sounded

-ˋˏ ღ You went to go do a quick errand in your shared bedroom so you left Kook alone in the living room to do whatever he was doing

-��ˏ ღ what you came back to was absolutely adorable and hilarious.

-ˋˏ ღ you saw a kookie in slumber, a chat going wild the moment they saw you, and the candle still burning.

-ˋˏ ღ you laughed as you read some of the comments from chat and blew out the candle, you bid army farewell with a promise that you will take care of the golden maknae

copyright �� 2023 | frieschan

reblog or like if you enjoyed!

[paradisiacvl]

✩ ABC’S

SFW alphabet with JEFFREY MASON.

warnings: mentions of sex in G,J,& N! | word count:

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (How affectionate are they? How do they show it?)

In public, he'll keep it simple for the most part; hand-holding, an arm around your shoulders, peppering quick kisses on the side of your face, playing with strands of your hair while you're busy doing work or talking with someone

In private, he gives you everything and more

—‘B’ IS FOR BEST FRIEND (What would they be like as a best friend? How would it start?)

After he first saw you he was doing his damnedest to find out everything he could about you; eavesdropping on other students, watching you and your reactions very closely, following you around, etc..

But you would probably have to initiate it first

Unless he did something really sly like waiting until everyone in class was partnered up for a project and you two just happen to be the only ones left without one, forcing you two to be together

He can't be just friends with you though

You were already his before it was established

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (Do they like cuddling? How would they do it?)

It would take him a while to get used to it. He's not familiar with affection of any sort

But he realizes how nice it feels to hold you, to smell you. Just being that close to you is exhilarating

So he eases into it but that's mainly something saved for in private

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He only wants to settle down with you and have a life with you. No one else. Everyone else can go die for all he cares

lol he's so mean to other ppl

Surprisingly, pretty good at cooking

Considering most of his life was spent indoors with not much to do, he was left to fend for himself a lot so he racked up some practice

He doesn't necessarily like cleaning but he'll do it if he has to

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (If they had to break it off, how would they do it?)

You're the love of his life, no way in hell he's letting you go

whether you like it or not (you like it)

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (How do they feel about commitment? How quick do they want to get married?)

He's definitely very committed to his love but I feel like he's not a marriage guy

Like the commitment level is up to there but there's no wedding yk?

Wants to be able to call you his wife though

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's only really gentle with you.

That is, outside of sex and makeouts ofc

Come on, look at who we're talking about here

He's a rough man in nature

He is very observant so he always has a good idea of how you are emotionally and tries to act accordingly, helping you when you need it

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (Do they like hugs, how often do they do it, what are they like?)

He doesn't hug that often, his thing is keeping his arm around you. It's like his trademark show of affection

But when he does, it's just like cuddling, done in private

Likes coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and loom his head over yours

His hugs are so nice since he's so big compared to you, he just engulfs you completely but because of that they can also feel...imposing

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He waits until you say it first and he'll say it right back, he's felt it since shortly after he met you

He's scared of doing it first and you freaking out or something and looking like an idiot so how fast he says it entirely depends on how fast you do

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (How jealous do they get, and what do they do?)

VERY!1!! He's ready to scare off any wandering eyes and show them that you're all his

When it comes to jealousy and Jeffrey Mason it's hard to keep it PG-

Jealousy sex is very big with him

After a particular guy has been flirting with you non-stop...he'll ask if he could fuck you as good as he is or if he could make that much of a mess out of you while he's pounding into you relentlessly

And of course...the answer is "no" >:)

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (What are their kisses like, where do they like to kiss you, where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are usually heated, possessive, and almost always turn into makeout sessions

He likes to kiss you everywhere but especially your lips and neck

Like I said, he likes full-fledged makeout sessions, so he also likes it on his lips but the times you gently press a kiss to his cheek or jaw...

He melts

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (How are they around children?)

Thinks they're annoying and doesn't want to deal with them

Yucky

Doesn't want them

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pre-killer Jeff would generally leave before he had to get up for school so his parents wouldn't freak. He'd give you a lil kiss before he went

After the incident, there wasn't much of any time spent with him unless it was visitation at Pinehearst and he was very agitated– more than normal so there was even less time spent with him

After he escaped he would wake up before you, watch you for a few, then wake you up– if you didn't wake up already by his eyes burning into you lmao, and make you breakfast or something

Kinda grumpy

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (How are nights spent with them?)

Him crawling through your bedroom window lol

Before the incident and after the escape, that's one thing that's stayed consistent

But he'd crawl in while you're doing your skincare routine or something and afterwards, you guys would just talk, watch tv, or engage in other activities

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's a very difficult man to get to know. He wouldn't really talk much about himself so you would have to be observant

He would after a relationship is established, just give him time. It makes him uncomfy

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (How easily angered are they?)

On a good day, he just doesn't care about whatever it is that would bother him. Just rolling his eyes or scoffing at the fact, but those are rare 🧍🏼‍♀️

He has a record (literally) of having a bad temper, he's defensive and he just wants to be left alone fr

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (How much would they remember about you?)

He remembers everything and for a while, he knew things about you that you didn't even tell him or let on but... you didn't have to

He's a stalker

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (What's their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you first met

When he first saw you it's like he felt his whole world crashing down on him, he's never felt anything like it and he knew then he just had to have you

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (How protective are they? How would they protect you, and how would they like to be protected?)

Verryyy protective.

This boy is a guard dog

As far as he's concerned, he doesn't need protecting

He's a killer bro

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dates— I can imagine him bringing you to a pretty clearing in a forest and spending hours together there or bringing food up to a rooftop and watching the sky and just talking about whatever comes to mind

Anniversaries— he's got everything recorded in his handy journal, every waking thought he has ever had about you has been gushed to in his journal

You call it his diary and he gets mad

Gifts— he's not super fancy with it but he'll steal things he thinks you'll like or gather random wildflowers or stray animals and bring them to you

He tries

—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Drinking, he knows how to hold his alcohol so you don't ever see him drunk but you still don't like to see him do it

Stonewalling

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (How concerned are they with their appearance?)

He's not really all that concerned but since he's albino he does have to keep up with his hygiene more so than normal people

It's not really about appearance per se but cleanliness

Sunscreen, UV-blocking sunglasses, and shirts galore

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. After he met you, his life wasn't boring or mundane anymore. He actually has something to look forward to, someone that's looking forward to him too

He doesn't ever want you to be apart from his life

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (Random headcannon(s) about them?)

Jeff loves it when you wear his hoodies or shirts, especially during cold nights, his clothes are so much bigger on you

It's like he marked you, he has his clothes on you with his scent rubbing off on you and anyone could tell that it's his clothes you're wearing

He gets so smug ab it, it's the perfect solution for a jealous, possessive bf

He really likes it when you wear one of his shirts with just panties underneath, good luck getting him off you then

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who's exceptionally whiny

Someone who doesn't know when to be quiet

Calling him by his full name

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (What are their sleeping habits?)

He stays up real late but when he does sleep it's heavy

He has nightmares a lot

[fkinavocado]

DADDY ISSUES ANNOUNCEMENT

ok guys. let's recap. i've been writing on this fic since august 2021. i was gearing up to wrap it up for its 2 year anniversary in august, but my mental health got in the way of writing in general, not just for this fic.

however, there has been another major block in my way.

many of you might remember this if you've been around long enough, but i got a lot of backlash at one point in the story. some felt it wasn't going in the direction they had hoped for (a typical happy ending, picket fence, kids, etc- the whole package).

and ever since, this has been bothering me- but not just because of the obvious reason (which is, that this is my fic and i should get to decide what the storyline is ultimately, and who doesn't resonate can just move on instead of sending me hate for something i share on here for free and for us all to enjoy- me writing it, and you, hopefully, reading it)

no, the real, or should i say, bigger reason is that i was upset with myself.

because, honestly... i wanted to end the fic where part 1 ended!

but... i gave into the pressure. so many ppl were pleading for more, and although the initial plan was to just write extras going forward, little check-ins mainly based on prompts, i felt like i owed it to you all to give you the happy ending everyone was rooting for... when, in reality, i'd meant for it to have an open ending all along.

yes, the check-ins would have had them be together etc, but no major plot developments such as... getting married, babies, etcetc. because i just didn't want to give them a typical story. i wanted this to be based on their dynamic, their relationship, them working on it, but not have it be the traditional story with a happily ever after.

(very many insisted a lot on the baby plotline, and maybe that's why i went with that twist in the story... because i didn't see it for them in the immediate future. and writing it in a linear timeframe without too many timejumps meant that i had to find a workaround... which only infuriated people more!)

so i'be been debating this for months now... should i go on and just wrap it up in a lame way that i didn't feel did the story justice (aka another timejump where they're finally settled, have a kid and another one on the way, and describe their happily ever after) orrrrrrrrrrrrrr backtrack to where i feel i deviated from my original plan, and take off part 2 and 3.

basically, go back to where they were on his front porch and part 1 ended:

Harry looked at you for a long moment, towering over you- you could barely see his facial features in the dark. 

But what you could make out clearly was the glistening in his eyes and the way his lips turned ever so slowly into a smile, his dimples on display. He was so handsome when he smiled, it hurt. 

You slowly smiled in return, your worried expression fading away, and you just stared at eachother like that, smiling after months of nothing but.

You didn’t need to say anything, your eyes had their own secret language. Once more, your bodies were doing the talking for you.

He held out the palm of his hand.

And… you knew.

this... this is how i wanted the main story to end. and then to just write extras, prompts you guys send in, whatever you wanted to see more of- but maybe not them having kids etc because fjdhfksd this is just not that kind of story to me! i just wanted this to be about them, the two of them rekindling their relationship after so much time apart and all they'd been through!

so... i finally took the decision, and as a result, you may have noticed that just the first 25 chapters are still listed in the masterlist (essentially, just part 1)

this was a hard decision, one i've been debating for ages, because, well... i hated having to just erase so many chapters. chapters i worked on, chapters i still see as genuine and true to their story but just... not what i wanted to write for them as a whole. i wanted to just focus on little moments. not have it be a chronological recount of their story, going further.

i had to let go of so many special moments that i loved writing! who knows... maybe i'll save some of them and integrate them into extras

that is, if any of you still want me to keep writing extras for them! i know many will still want to see snippets of them, but i am well aware most have probably given up on this fic and i honestly don't blame them. it's taken me forever to reach this decision, but honestly, i'm taking the advice of so many lovely people who came into my inbox along the years and encouraged me to stay true to what i'd envisioned for them in the first place

so this is me doing that ❤️i love their story, and all the love you guys have for it and it's just so so special to me. i couldn't bear giving it an ending that would just feel like i was wrapping it all up and putting a pretty bow on top when i have so much i wanted to explore with them, otherwise. thank you all for your patience and all your kindness. it means a lot, and i hope this news makes you happy because... it makes me happy knowing i stayed true to myself in the end.

now i can finally move on and write more for them. let's have some fun! if needed, go back and at least give chapter 25 a re-read so you know where things left off. i'm still not doing well mental health wise so please bear with me- i'm trying. i promise i am. i desperately wanna write, i love writing. writing extras is so much easier logistically- little fun check-ins that i don't have to overthink. i'm hopeful that this will prove to be the right decision going further ❤️

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 18

anakin x reader

a/n: shit man, stuff is getting tough! i really didn’t think this fic was gonna b as long as it’s becoming hahaha/ ngl even if ppl r losing interest, im still gonna continue it for me heheh- i really like this story :)

The night gets worse and worse

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, alcohol abuse, emtephobia (barf and stuff…), DONT DO WHAT ANAKIN DOES PLS LORD, ableist comments

_______________________________

As it does, time went by and you tried to move on.

When school ended you moved in with Ahsoka and split rent; it was nice having your best friend around whenever you needed it, plus the two of you shared groceries so the cost of living was much more affordable than if you had gotten your own place. 

As much as you tried to remove Anakin from your mind, he just wouldn’t seem to leave so you enlisted the help of a professional. 

You would go to therapy sessions twice a week; not solely because of Anakin but he definitely was part of it.

Mainly you went to try and deal with the reality of being such a young mother and work on letting your stress out in positive ways: though on occasion you would try to gain insight on your relationship with the older man.

When the therapist asked about him, you explained all he had been through and let her know you knew some of the reasons he acted the way he did; but your therapist assured you no matter the reasons, that didn’t negate the validity of your feelings. 

The first few times you went you were skeptical; how was talking to some random person supposed to help you feel relieved and emotionally stable?

But after a few sessions, you started to see a difference in your moods and outlook on things. 

It was a few days after Anakin’s results came in that Ash told you about the visit she paid Anakin; she recapped her argument with him, his relapse, and that she made him go to the clinic, she told you that she would relay his results to you as soon as she could. 

You worried that she would be upset that you didn’t tell her that he was the father or that the two of you were together, but she brushed it off, “I kinda had a feeling, ya know?”.

You felt bad that he relapsed and was all alone, but then you remembered he was alone on his own merit, his behavior pushed those who cared most away… it wasn’t your fault. 

You didn’t know how long fertility tests usually took, but you awaited the results anxiously.

Every day you woke up hoping that maybe he would reach out or that maybe he would show up at your door, but each time you only set yourself up for disappointment. 

It had been around a week after Ahsoka told you he got the test; sure these things took some time, but he should have the results by now.

You weighed the option of just asking him flat out because you were frankly over his asshole hermit bit. 

The weather was nice and you didn’t have any responsibilities today… ok, maybe you would pay him a visit. You rested a palm on your stomach as you bent over to grab your shoes from the shoe rack; you were definitely showing much more than you were during the first trimester. 

You were about to head out when your phone began to ring; it was Ahsoka.

“Hey Ash, what's up?” you asked as you searched for your keys. 

I finally got it

“Got what?”

It took a lot of coaxing, but I finally got the results

You stopped at the door and placed your keys back onto the counter top; maybe you wouldn’t have to see him. 

y/n…he’s viable.

A weight felt like it had been lifted from your chest, now he had undeniable proof you were telling the truth the whole time- everything he said was for nothing and you were vindicated. 

“That’s amazing news'' you exclaimed into the phone; surely your friend could hear the huge smile on your face just from your voice. 

Yea, but what are you going to do now? He’s the father and now he knows it… you aren’t just going to let him back in after all he did, right?

“No Ash, He knows the truth now and if he wants this or is mature enough, he will come to me and apologize. The ball is in his court” you explained.

Atta girl

You smiled at your friend’s support, “Thanks Ahsoka” 

Anytime

The phone call ended and you went back to your room- hopefully you would be hearing an apology soon or at least hearing from him in general. 

_______________________________________

Across town Anakin sat on his couch and absentmindedly flipped through the channels on his tv; he told Ahsoka the news this morning and it drained him to make the call.

Ahsoka thanked him for getting the test and asked how he felt about the news. He answered quickly and hung up. He knew she was going to tell you and that he should tell you himself and apologize. But what would that do?

It would just solidify that he was a complete asshole- you deserved so much better. Surely you would do the same that he did to you…shut you down completely and demand you leave. 

Maker, why was he such an arrogant shit?

His half drunk mind wasn’t operating at full capacity and he was making a lot of dumb rationalizations to his problems;

You already thought he was an asshole, so why even bother telling you the news himself? 

You deserved better so he should just disappear from your life and not weigh you down.

He really nothing going for him, so fuck it- he was gonna get shitfaced. 

Soon he had made his way back to the couch with a six pack of bud lite and he cracked the first one. Cheers to the pathetic joke that was his life. He gulped them down one by one and sooner than he thought, the pack was already gone. 

He had a good buzz going and went to fetch more but when he scanned his messy fridge for the tinted glass bottles he couldn’t find any. 

“Fuck” he muttered, that was his last case. 

He groaned and slammed the fridge door shut. There was nothing here to cure his itch for alcohol, so he decided tonight would be a great night to go out and get shitfaced in public, cause why the fuck not?

He got his phone out and grabbed one of the many styluses he had scattered through the house for his convenience. He called for an uber to pick him up.

As he waited he changed into pants, a long sleeve, and his gloves- it had been awhile since he had gone out and he forgot what a hassle it was to put all of that shit on. 

By the time he was dressed and collected his wallet, the uber was there. Anakin was an experienced drinker, so even though he already had six beers packed away, he could sober up if he needed to be able to get into the bar. 

The car he rode in was a nice sedan, it was silver and looked like a new model; the problem for Anakin was getting in. All of the cars he usually rode in (yours, Ahsoka’s, Ben’s, and his own) were bigger and sat higher up, so he wasn’t used to having to crouch down to get in. 

He sighed and placed a stiff hand on the roof of the car to steady himself as he lowered himself into the car; he sat with a thud and grunted.

The driver was probably only a few years his junior- he wore big circle glasses, a patterned button down and had a clean shaven face. He looked like a pushover.

Anakin winced at the overwhelming smell of eucalyptus that entered his senses; he wondered how this guy was driving for a job like this- how would he defend himself against a potential threat? By throwing his eucalyptus at them?

Ahh, what was he doing? He was being judgmental for no reason. 

“Are you alright sir?” the man asked.

“Yea, i’m fine,” Anakin said, crossing his arms. 

The man nodded and began to drive to the bar Anakin had entered into the app. 

The bar he wanted to go to was one in the heart of the city, he didn’t want to talk to anyone tonight, but he also didn’t want to be alone; this bar was perfect for that because there were always people doing some random shit that he could eavesdrop on. 

They pulled up to the curb and the driver parked the car. Anakin thanked the man and opened the door to exit. Maker, he was getting nauseous from that fucking air freshener. 

He swung one leg out of the car and pushed himself up with his opposite hand. He stood and grabbed onto the hood of the car with his hand; that was harder than it had to be… damn these prosthetics. 

Once he was standing he shut the door just as the driver was asking if he needed any assistance.

Groups of people crowded around the entrance of the establishment. Some were old regulars whose teeth looked like they were gonna fall out from all of the substances they abused and on the other side there were a group of younger kids who were trying to figure out who was going to try out their fake ID first. 

He scoffed as he pushed through both groups to get inside. The bar was warm and smelled of weed, smoke, and liquor- relief washed over the melancholic man, this is where he would be able to forget. 

An open barstool was soon occupied by him and a bartender quickly made her way down to his seat. 

“I’ll have some of that honey bourbon I've been hearing people rave about” he said, a $10 bill folded between his fingers. 

“Alright, hun, that’s commin’ right up” the busty lady on the other side of the counter said as she grabbed the 10 from his hand, her hand lingering longer than he liked. 

Anakin could tell she was trying to flirt to get a better tip; back before you, he would have gladly indulged her game and revel in every motion she would do to purposefully push up her breasts and flirt back 5 times harder than she was… but now, he had no desire.

All he could think of when she tried to flirt was how he’d much rather be having a quiet night with you, not some bartender who didn’t give a rat’s ass about his life.

His drink was placed in front of him and the woman smiled, “here you are handsome”.

Normally that wouldn’t bother him- she was just doing her job… But tonight he just couldn’t. 

Once he thanked her, she sauntered away; Anakin raised a judgey brow as she intentionally swayed her hips back and forth. When she was finally busy with another customer he called over one of the other bartenders.

“Hey man, you think you could serve me tonight, I don’t really appreciate all of her flirting” he said as blankly as he could. 

The man cleaning glasses on the other side of the mahogany surface chuckled and nodded, “haha, yes man, no problem. She does lay it on pretty hard sometimes, I get it”.

Anakin thanked the man and continued to down drinks. 

As it got later, more and more people began showing up and it became uncomfortably hot. The music started to give him a headache and the smoke was getting thicker; he knew it was time to go when he could hardly suppress his coughing (no thanks to his fucked up lungs). 

The cool evening air felt cleaner than it ever had before as Anakin stood a few yards down from the bar. He had gotten far enough out of the way that he could still hear and see the lights from inside but no line was around him.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked up at the sky; the city’s light pollution hid the stars; he still liked to imagine how they’d look. 

He had no idea how much he had in that bar, but he felt like it wasn’t enough- he needed to do something crazy- he needed to interact with people. He wasn’t completely gone yet, but he was pretty drunk (even if he wouldn’t admit it). 

He stumbled down the sidewalk as he made his way to another bar, not far from where he was, that was a “no-smoking” establishment; he wouldn’t have to worry about choking on air there.

The sidewalk seemed to move as he steadied himself by placing a hand on the wall of the buildings on the way to his destination. 

He was feeling pretty good; his problems were far from his mind, instead he was focusing on getting to the bar. He finally made it and attempted to sit on the barstool that just couldn’t seem to sit still. Eventually he caught a bartender’s attention and got set up there with a 20 oz draft beer. 

This bar was crowded too, but less head-pounding music and young adults. He sipped his drink peacefully as he watched the others in the bar; there were a few couples on dates, a group of guys playing pool, and another group throwing darts. 

He downed his beer and placed the glass on the bar as he waited for more- this was definitely one way to spend his army money. 

As he waited a brown haired woman came up behind him and placed a lingering hand on his shoulder.

“Hello, you look lonely tonight, anything I could help with?”.

The lady wore a dress that was way too short and it did not flatter her body at all. She smelled of overwhelming cheap perfume and beer. He was already over it. 

“Nah, I’m just fine,” he said, attempting to wave her off.

She caught one of his gloved hands and began taking off his covering as she asked, “ooh, you have very stiff hands, must be strong-lets see..”.

She managed to get the glove halfway up his palm before he snatched his hand to his chest; “what the fuck you think you’re doing?!” he hissed.

She laughed, “You’re like a robot or somethin’ haha, I’m sure I could please you better than that plastic could, and I only require a pack of cigs after, no monetary charge” she promoted proudly. 

“Not in a million years lady” Anakin mumbled as his cup was replaced with a full one. 

She scoffed and put her hands on her hips, “well that’s alright, I didn’t really want to fuck a cripple anyways”.

At that moment Anakin had the urge to grab her by that pathetic excuse of a dress and throw her against the nearest wall, but he knew he shouldn’t.

“Fuck off”

“No wonder you look lonely, with a personality like that you must be impossible to be around” she huffed before finding the next guy to latch on to. 

He was getting drunker and her words hit a little too close to home- he needed to be more wasted. He began to find random people who would do shots with him. Soon he was blacked out and drinking with everyone. 

“ and i-its its sooo fucked, ‘cause I… I really do love her, but she… I don’t think s-she… I don’t know, WHO WANTS TO DO MORE SHOTS?!” Anakin was everywhere.

He sat at the bar and did two hurricane shots right after another (where you drink it then get water thrown in your face then the bartender slaps you across the face). He was at the point that he couldn’t even feel that-he was gone. 

Though soon after, the shots began catching up with him and he started feeling nauseous. He laid his forehead down on the bar and puked in between his legs and the counter. Some people around offered to help and the bartender got him some water; he insisted he didn’t need it but the alcohol was definitely making him dehydrated. 

Through the middle of sounds he heard a staff member say, “someone needs to get him outta here, we can’t have him in the bar like this”. 

The fuck were they saying? He was completely fine. 

Before he could tell what was happening he was being carried out of the bar and was sitting on the curb outside. Fuck, what was going on?

Everything was blurry, he felt nauseous and all he could focus on was this sharp pain in his side and the pounding headache that was plaguing him.

________________________

Anakin had no idea where he was, but he knew he didn’t feel good. He sat up and puked.

He felt a hand on his back and was about to protest when another wave of nausea hit- when would it end?

More shit happened in a blur and he eventually made it into an Uber and headed home. 

————-about two hours earlier—————

After he was thrown out of the bar downtown he was picked up by a group of frat boys who thought it would be cool to challenge a random drunk guy to a drinking contest.

In his inebriated state, Anakin went with the men (even though they basically had to carry him to the club they were going to). 

No one in their right mind would still allow Anakin to consume drinks, he was visibly not well and clearly needed to be cut off; but that wouldn’t be any fun for the frat.

They took him to a club where they frequented so the staff allowed them to do whatever the fuck they wanted. 

Anakin continued to drink and drink… and drink. 

Once he started puking again, one of the relatively kinder boys took time to ask his address and got him an uber home.

And that's where Anakin was now. 

He rested his forehead against the back window of the sedan and the driver drove quickly; he was probably worried that Anakin was going to yak in the back of his car. They arrived at Anakin’s apartment in decent time and the driver asked Anakin to leave. 

Anakin nodded and tried to get up but he couldn’t quite get his footing; the driver huffed and helped him out of the car. 

The driver helped Anakin into the house and saw some cash lying on the end table; sure, he helped Anakin inside but that didn’t mean this guy was a saint. 

Anakin leaned against the wall for support the driver swiped the cash and dashed out of the door. He had no clue what happened or what was going on, all he knew was that he felt awful and he needed to get to bed. 

He headed that way but he tripped over himself and landed on the floor with a thud.

A groan escaped him and his vision went black. 

***

a/n: more self destructive behavior… what’s new? lolll, srry the updates have been spaced out a bit, i’ve been doing a lot at work haha

taglist : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana @imarimone12 @fallinlovewithevil

[solar-sunnyside-up]

I feel so fucking helpless. since this is anonymous i'm gonna come right out and say it, I'm a minor, and because of that there is so fucking little I can do about anything, especially with conservative parents and it just feels like I'm constantly failing to live up to my own expectations and aspirations but also I understand that as a legal child it makes sense there's things that I can't do but it also just feels like massive fucking excuse.

The only activism I can do is from behind a fucking screen under a fake name by writing to politicians who i'm 90% never read my emails anyway but I still have to write cause I need to show that people do care about these issues and at the same time I can't vote on them I can't donate to causes I'm just suck screaming into the void and nothings there to scream back.

I barely talk to my friends about this because they're also unsure of the world we live in yeah, but their parents are progressive and listen to them and I don't wanna drag them down plus I've tried to get them more into this stuff and it just doesn't work and I don't know what to do about it and I can't talk to the school counselor about this cause I don't know her political leanings and in my experience you can't trust an adult with the location of your Halloween candy you really think she's gonna not snitch?

I just have to watch and listen and stay quiet about the adults in my life's actions cause if I speak up I risk losing the one route of activism I have.

I'm sorry if this is too long, or too personal, I don't know where else to talk about this. Sorry

Don't be sorry. Never, sprout, never be sorry for feeling anything but particularly the rage and horror you feel. It's well earned.

All of this is exactly how I felt as a teen too. Isolated, alone, helpless under capitalism and being a minor is it's own oppressed class within every other oppressed group your likely apart of. You have every right to feel this way. But if I can give one speck of hope to you? Take it or leave it of course, but..

I have also been writing emails like crazy and gentle parenting ppl in goverment. I've also heard back from almost all of them after 6+ months. Several things that the writing campaigns where trying to complish have actually gone through! Mainly the transit ones. We managed to revive an entire transit project in my city and got several more votes towards rent caps as examples within the last few months. Ppl are forced to read it wheather or not they reply, so do whatever you want and have fun where you can.

That being said, personally I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't get out of the nihilism hole until after my teens. I tried and tried to make the jump to absurdist theory but my brain just wasnt baked enough yet if you wanna place to vent or some books/music recs for it tho feel free to dm! There is a horrible but small change you won't stop feeling like this until they are over.

[entropy-sea-system]

OK OK impromptu rant but I need to get this out there as I still feel somewhat connected to the aro community-

I have been watching the tags, I've been talking the people in my local a-spec community and I think it amazes me just how incredible the relationships put forth by aro and aces are, while the communities just don't reflect any of it.

I've stopped identifying with the aroallo label because there was no sense of community associated with it. The a-spec spaces are made for aces only and the ace stuff in them is abhorrent. I am tired of people passing it off as repulsion, while still seeing people saying "hookers" are disgusting in a-spec tags. I'm tired of people saying PDA is bad. I'm tired of people acting like aros and aces can only be clueless cinnamon rolls. I'm tired of people being so so so stuck in their own perspective of the world they act like people in romantic relationships can't be happy. So on and so forth.

The concepts we have are passionating. They're the coolest ones I've been exposed to in queer communities. However, nobody thinks about them. Nobody speak about them. All we have is endless messages about how the world is so so confusing or hatred directed at sex and romance. I get that but I wish we went even a tiny bit past that really. It's a community filled with adults that feels so immature and I honestly think there is some sort of self infantilization going on. I don't like that I don't have symbols that aren't associated with uwu smol bean dragon lover stuff. It makes me sick and is why I don't identify with it anymore but it's genuinely sad to see because technically that's still the people who will relate to me the most.

It feels like people are always desperate to understand how the norm works and how they can best align with it instead of fully experiencing their identity. And that's an understandable thing to do but the community is just that with sex and romance negativity sprinkled on top of it.

I wish they were angrier. I wish they were more introspective. I wish they thought about breaking the norms more instead of headcannoning every female character without a love interest as aroace and talking about how gross sex is. I wish I felt like I can connect with the people who are supposed to be at least partly like me.

Anyway you're cool and I hope you're doing well! Sorry to drop all of this onto you but yeah I trust you with my ranty feels about the community.

We didn't really expect this ask but thank you for sending it!!

There are a lot of issues with the aspec community, especially online, (we have no experience with irl ones yet). And what you described here explains the issues with it quite well.

I feel like most of the aspec community ends up catering to mainly aces, and to a lesser extent aros, and slightly to apls, while other atertiary is hardly discussed (and agender ppl often just lump w gender stuff instead even though its aspec). I think the community is also rather divided, personally.

We're in some discord servers w mostly other apls and aros/run by other apl aros (often also romo aro) and they tend to overall be normal about aspec identities without being negative about attractions or actions or gatekeeping aspec labels. Currently we logged off discord a bit but we have in the past been in aro spaces that had many of the issues you mention , and still come across people being that way on tumblr.

I think there is a problem where some aros think that calling romance inherently toxic is somehow "activism" and deny that romance negativity exists, then claim that they "don't have to consider every culture ever" when people state that some cultures are romance negative and do harm people for engaging in romance.

They seem to think its "punching up" and some alloaros in particular try to justify it by acting like the united states is the only country that matters and citing sex negativity as a reason for romance negativity "not existing". When aces do this about sex its harmful, but thats not supposed to be a reason to deny that being romance negative is toxic and harmful to others even if their country doesn't persecute people for engaging in romance.

I also personally see a some aros hesitant to id with ace or acespec terms that technically fit them because of how bad the ace community has been about sex and anyone who isn't ace, as well as aces and aros generally forgetting about atertiary ppl. Some of them prefer terms like lightspec or such or allospec partly because of that.

It's understandable that some people feel a disconnect from labels like aro and ace as a result of how the communities tend to be tbh. I've had moments when I didn't want to id as aro because of this, and I consider myself both aro and alloro due to my arospec orientation.

Also being tertiary repulsed and being repulsed by sex repulsion (it just happens to repulse me a lot to read about even if not stated in a sex negative way), makes it a bit hard to be around other aspecs. I feel really disgusted and triggered when other aros talk about squishes and qprs and friendships, even if I think they should be able to talk about that. Which makes it hard to be around some other aros.

I also get what you mean about people trying to align with the existing norm. I'm seeing a rise in people maligning labels they don't understand and this attitude of "the only kind of weird thats fine is the kind of weird I am", which the aspec community has certainly not been immune to either.

I feel like for some reason most aspecs I see online, especially aros, are minors? Maybe because the aromantic label only really caught on after 2005 iirc so older people less likely to have heard of it? Im not a huge fan of how aspec tends to be infantilised either. I find issues with how some of the aro symbols are very derivative of ace symbols because we are not some extension of ace we're our own community. I can also see how ppl may find it too infantilising to have symbols like frogs and griffons etc.

Also yeah what is with people doing that about characters who are women or girls and express that they don't want to get married??? Or even just don't have a love interest. I understand if aroaces want more headcanoned rep or non-aspecs I guess idk want to fill some headcanon diversity quota without actually supporting aspecs but.

Not wanting marriage or not having a love interest is not inherently equal to not wanting romance and/or sex. I feel especially that people like to assume not wanting to have children means not wanting sex (which I find pretty reductive in that its acting like thats the only reason ppl have sex, especially as a sex favorable person who doesn't want kids). And all aspecs deserve more canon rep to begin with. I think I have a gripe with ppls aspec headcanons almost always being alloace or aroace. It's like they forget other aspecs like apls, alloaros, neu aros, non sam aros, atertiary, etc. even exist!

Additionally I think its partly because romance is emphasized more for female characters that even fans decide to make their interpretations about romance/a lack there of as if its the character's only personality trait. In my opinion its just as obsessive about romance if someone thinks all there is to a character is not engaging in it. I also see people act like they're solely worried a woman/girl character is going to fall for a man/boy character they hc as aro but not often the opposite like. Just say you see romance as gendered/feminine in some way and go I guess lol.

I also feel like mainly allistic non-aspecs do this but when ppl hc an autistic character as ace or aroace it feels infantilising if theres literally no other rationale behind their headcanon. I feel desexualised at times as an autistic and thats mostly bc ppl pick up on some kind of nd thing and they assumed I'm too "innocent" to like romance or sex, or because they view us as "unable to consent"(which can be true of some people if their neurodivergence affects their ability to consent to things even as an adult, but isn't universally true.) . I think some of this perception is also rooted in eugenics (due to people equating sex with having kids and viewing disability and/or neurodivergence as a tragedy and thinking its 'bad' for disabled and/or nd ppl to have kids).

So I don't really appreciate implications that someone is ace just by virtue of being autistic. I think its also unfair to autistic aros and aces because our neurodivergence can influence our orientation, but being autistic does not mean that makes someone inherently ace and/or aro.

My physical disability is relatively mild and less talked about (chronic pain and fatigue), and I don't reveal it to most ppl(ppl who dont live with me won't know I get exhausted from non-taxing to abled ppl activities, and chronic pain is not visible at all and we can't get mobility aids due to not being independent yet) so Im not fully aware how people view my apl and aro identities in that regard.

And there is definitely an issue with aspecs trying to enforce NEW norms. They cry about how people are forced into performing romance and sex to fit in but then turn around and tell people they need to love or have friends or family or pets in order to be a good person. It's also very harmful to aspecs bc some of us are loveless or atertiary etc. in ways that aros and aces apparently hate lol. A lot of aros in particular are very platonormative.

The aro community is also rather hostile to romo aros. There are still people who exclude romo aros from the aro label or act like we have to bend over backwards and acknowledge that we are "amatonormative oppressors" for liking romance or feeling some connection to it.

I think also the meme about putting a box away on a tall shelf away from a child is relevant here. The word amatonormative is constantly misused by a lot of aros. I've seen aros call alloromantic apls "amatonormative" and act like "amatonormative" means 'person who engages in romance'.

Its not a term abt engaging in romance or liking it. It's also not an excuse to pressure people to have or like friends either. I think aros should have actual discussions about amatonormativity that aren't just US-centric and about romance(wow do aros love to ignore that monogamy, non-queer, cis, etc. are social categories deemed more valuable under amatonormative societal norms), instead of using it to describe anyone they deem as interested in romance .

On that note, a lot of them use some examples of toxic relationships as reasons to call romance toxic and almost advocate for romance to never exist(which is especially disgusting to see for me, as in my country a lot romance negative conservative rhetoric is literally worded the same way). These people almost never acknowledge that other relationships like friendship can be toxic too.

I think some of these people believe in 'morality of repugnance' in that they think if its something they personally find repulsive in some way, that means its inherently immoral, which is not conducive to having unbiased views of the world, or critical thinking. I think a lot of ppl my age and younger are especially trying to do this because Ive lost count of how many I've seen be like "ewww thats gross/weird and so its wrong/immoral", and literally spouting conservative rhetoric while thinking they're politically liberal/leftists, perhaps with different wording but yeah. (I think that one tumblr post abt ppl in that age range being 'conservative on accident', especially in the united states- though that is concerning given the way ppl from other countries tend to absorb american opinions and such too much, describes this phenomenon)

I think some aros are also still so caught up in how much of a tragedy they think their aromanticism is, and I feel bad for them but thats not all there is to being aro and its a bit weird when ppl act like it is.

I think one of the best things about being aspec for me is feeling more like I can engage in and not engage in relationships (Im only favorable to sexual partnerships w no label other than 'sexual partner', and romance only w two partners as of now, and completely averse to all tertiary/nonrose. before I fully realised my aspec identities i pressured myself to have friends and felt like I'd be obligated to be favorable to nonsexual romance if someone wanted that with me, to 'be an ally to aces', even though it repulsed me. I also felt obligated to want qprs especially after realising Im aro. Realising Im atertiary helped me stop forcing myself to want nonrose relationships.)

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but probably most of my opinions on the aro and some extent aspec community.

[ilovetheriddler]

hiii would it be alright if I requested a fluff fanficfion about Joseph oda x fem coworker reader who tends to get flustered really easily and has a crush on Joseph with neither of them knowing that the feeling is reciprocated? whereas it is painfully obvious they both have feelings for each other but they're the only ones who don't see it. and that they have been friends/coworkers for at least a year or 2 but never admitted their feelings to each other but to those close to them? thanks so much for your time!! 🦭 I love joseph so much and I'm surprised more ppl don't talk about him!

Yes!! Thank you so much for requesting this! I adore Joseph so much, so I loved writing this. It is truly a shame that nobody really talks about him anymore! I hope I made this Fluffy enough, I hope you enjoy this! 💚

Oblivious Affections.

(The Evil Within) Joseph Oda x F! Reader.

(Takes place a few years before the events of the main story.)

Word Count: 1,150.

Contents: longing, two friends oblivious of each others feelings, kissing, love confessions, Some Fluff.

You have been working at the Krimson City Police Department for two years now. Over that time, you've grown incredibly close to a detective who has worked there a few more years than you. Detective Joseph Oda. His partner on the force, Sebastian Castellanos, would even often make remarks about how the two of you were practically inseparable.

Truth be told, you felt more than just friendship for Joseph. In fact, you were madly in love with him. However, you could never bring yourself to admit it to him, even whenever the moment would be perfect to do so, you just couldn't risk the chance of him not feeling the same and it possibly ruining your friendship.

However, unbeknownst to you, Joseph was currently going through the exact same internal conflict and emotional turmoil. He wasn't quite sure when these feelings first developed. Was it that time when you offered to clean off his glasses for him when they were horribly smudged? The time when you went out of your way to make him a cake for his birthday last year? Did they develop as a result of your endearing laugh and smile? Or perhaps it was a mixture of everything that slowly, but surely built up.

He ultimately sighs and gets back to looking over some of the case files lying on his desk. He glances up briefly once he notices Sebastian walking over to his respective desk. He waves at him slightly.

"Morning Seb, how's being a new father treating you so far?"

"It's been rough. Lily's an extremely light sleeper, so she wakes up at all hours of the night. But you know, I love her and Myra very much, and honestly, i wouldn't ever dream of trading it for anything else."

Sebastian sits down and takes a drink from his cup of coffee. He's quiet for a few minutes until he looks over at Joseph. He has a slightly amused look in his eyes as he flashes Him a sly smile.

"So... How have things been going between you and that girl you're infatuated with...?"

"H-huh?! ... is it really that obvious that I like her...?"

Sebastian lets out a highly amused chuckle at this. Finding it somewhat funny how someone as smart as Joseph didn't realize how obvious he was when it came to his feelings for you.

"Joseph, you gawk at that poor girl like a damn fish! The whole precinct is aware of how you feel, for Pete's sake!"

"What?! The whole precinct, that's.... oh God. How long has everyone known...?"

"For months now, probably almost a year if I'm being entirely honest. As far as I'm concerned, the only person as oblivious as you would actually be her!"

Joseph feels his face heat up in embarrassment over this. But he was at least glad that you apparently were none the wiser about his feelings... That's for the best. He wouldn't want to screw things up by making things awkward.

After a few hours of going through open and closed case files and organizing some things he needed to, he went to the break room. Mainly to grab a new cup of coffee and maybe something to eat. But also with the hope of running into you, his heart pounding rapidly at the very thought.

He walks into the break room and makes his way over to the coffee maker, pouring himself a new cup before also grabbing a donut from the box on the counter, most likely brought it by Sebastian. He's so lost in his own thoughts as he eats that he doesn't even notice when you walk in. Not until you clear your throat to get his attention.

"O-oh! Excuse me, I apologize. I was just... thinking of some things...."

"... it's alright, Joseph. I just walked in, so i haven't even been standing here long..."

He then notices that you look somewhat nervous. His curiosity only grew once he noticed that you were currently holding something behind your back. After a bit, you speak up.

"I um... Have you a gift... I remember that you said a few weeks ago that today would mark exactly six years of you working here... so I wanted to get you something to celebrate that..."

"Really? Well... I appreciate the thought, but you didn't have to get me anything."

You look down nervously and reluctantly hand him the wrapped up gift. He looks at it, wondering what it could be before he begins to unwrap it. His eyes widen once he sees what it is. A new mug with the words "The best bespectacled detective." It makes him chuckle a bit until he realizes that each letter is hand painted. You painstakingly hand painted every single letter on this mug for him. He's so overjoyed by the sheer thoughtfulness of the gift that before he can even realize and process what he's doing, he leans in close to your face and kisses your cheek.

"Thank you... God, I love you so much...."

"H-huh? Y-you love me...?"

He could feel his heart nearly stop, and his face heating up horribly as he realized what he had just done and said. He just told you that he loves you. He just stands there somewhat frozen in a panic. He can turn this around. He has to. He'll think of something to keep this from getting awkward.

But before he can utter a single potential excuse, you grab his collar suddenly and pull him into a proper and passionate kiss. He's so shocked that he feels as if he's going to faint. Until he finally snaps out of his flustered state and places one of his hands on the side of your face, carefully cradling it. While his other hand tangles itself in your hair. After a few more seconds, you both pull away for air. He gently caresses the side of your face as he stares lovingly and slightly dazed into your eyes.

"I'll take that to mean that you feel you feel the same way.... am I right?"

"Yes.... I love you too, Joseph. I have for a while now, but I've been so worried about messing everything up... so I thought it would be better if I didn't tell you..."

He lets out an amused chuckle as he kisses your cheek again quickly.

"That's funny.... because that's exactly what I was doing as well.... I guess we were both quite foolish in doing that... weren't we, my love...?"

"Yeah.... it was honestly quite ridiculous.... why did we have to overthink it so much?"

"I suppose we were both just too worried about being rejected....."

He holds you closely in his arms, resting his head on your shoulder as he sighs in contentment. After all this worrying... everything finally became the way he desperately desired. Just him and the love of his life in his arms.

[ghxst-system]

this post scheduled

is written during an episode and connot confirm will be coherent

lets talk about thw post abt octocon

concern came from place of paranoia and anxiety as program and ramcoa system

but being honest the thoughts mainly stemmed from issues had recently with person who has made my paranoia get to point of barely being able use tumblr.

dont want explain fully but person destroyed ability to trust anyone on tumblr and feel unsafe engaging with ppl who previoisly trusted. that person has platform on here and is running a blog for large amount of sysblr so have not felt safe with any social media use recently.

as said all over profile have bad communication and mentally am younger than appear and feel confused and unable to really engage qith stuff around octocon

was working off of info that was incomplete and couldnt understand. had both sides explain to me but believe my safety concern still valid

had 0 reasaurance from app when testing that would be safe for ramcoa and program systems and most platform never safe. felt overlooked and ignored and believed data put at risk by bot.

have had more info from atlas that explains some things but still stand by this app not feeling safe for **me** specifically. if other ramcoa systems feel same that may be bigger issue that needs addressed.

right now am in active mh episode. any people who come to blog through that op wont be engaging on this post.

op staying up for now so people know where go for update and sorry for any "fearmonger"? dont understand how being afraid is fearmonger and apologise still

this post be linked in op but still no engage for safety rn

i am not giving excuses for any harm done. am giving reason. pls forgive poor phrasing im disabled.

want also give quote that help words:

"@/atlas-oc You may not, but pluralkit is not a safe discord bot to import to from simply plural. For many HC DID systems, it is not safe for the names of alters to be public, which they are if you use pluralkit. That is what ghxst is saying. Please listen to programmed systems with their anxiety concerns, and not twist what they are saying."

from comment under op

[destinyc1020]

As a Tomdaya on the bird app, who stans Tom and Z as individuals as well as their relationship, I’d thought I chime in. I agree with the anon that Z is treated very differently on the app than Tom and I find it weird. I think Z fans are very proctevtive of Z, rightfully so but they often fail to view her as a human being and put her on this bizarre pedestal that sometimes removes her humanity as an individual that I can only really compare to to Taylor swift. Disney is the starting block to ownership because a lot of fans either grew up with Z or rewatched her shows on the channel that they are the super fans today. Add in The Greatest Showman, MCU, Euphoria and Dune. Properties with big fan bases. Her music career was also very successful though cut short and had a huge impact. It’s not lost on me of the sheer volume of fame and fans she’s received being strategic and being one of a kind talent.

Tom on the other hand has MCU but really didn’t grow up in the public the way Z did at age 13. Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans. I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

They put Z on puritanical pedestals and remove her humanity.Sometimes I think they forget that they know she lurks on socials and might like or retweets accounts thus creating subfandoms that have relations to Z. Those fandoms are not bad and great if your a fan. But those ones like timdayas, hunterdaya or anyone daya who cut Tom out of everything is just so weird to me. They get annoyed if you make a Tomdaya joke cause she more than her relationship. They’re not wrong but she’s always more than her costars but they never see through that logic because it doesn’t fit their narrative lol.

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental. Idk if you remember the infamous Timothee I trusted you meme because despite general public coming for him, those stans really were doing too much lol. I think that’s why he hid his relationships from his fans because they built this idea of him when he’s just a man in his 20s figuring it out lol.

Tom fans are in three catergories mcu fanboys, Tomdayas like me lol, antis who don’t like Z. His fanbase on twitter is really an amalgamation of Tomdayas who both love Z and Tom but their small compared to Z’s or Timothee. When he gets hate Tomdaya felt the need to defend on his behalf. The reality is Tom doesn’t care. He only uses insta and avoids twitter. He healthy because he live in his own universe. However, he’s not a Paul mescal or Josh O’Connor where his work little or alot can stand out for itself whether he’s likeable or not. A lot of his fame comes from his personality or ip films. I’m aware I missed Billy Elliot, just don’t thinks it relevant on social media. Yes I loved tcr but when the rt score came it was brutal. It was shocking seeing critics who relatively have a niche on films come for him and I was just sad that ppl had this much vitriol despite the fact he’s not problematic. Both film twitter beloved Chris Pine and Chris Evans have critically failure and there’s not hate as much as Tom got that week. One thing as a Tomdaya that muted certain z fans who hate on him is that he really doesn’t care.

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness. I don’t engage tweets about comparison with other actors, z’s exes or costars because I know it’s bait. Toms fanbase is small so I’m happy it’s not as big as other actors. That’s why I think those fans can repost his kissing scenes of intamite scenes cause he doesn’t lurk Twitter and it doesn’t start trending. Z does so when those fans post things about her boyfriend or her exes or costars, they know she lurks and I think that’s weird. Maybe that’s why Tomdayas get on defence lol. I’m aware though some Tomdayas can be cringe. I’m not rewriting history here lol.

That’s my two cents lol. Hope you have a good day xxx

Thnx for your input Anon. 😊

Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans.

I wouldn't say she encourages it, I just think she wants to try to stay personable with her fans and show them that she's still that kind, down to earth girl from Oakland that they've always known and loved, no matter how "famous" she gets. 😊

I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

Well Z IS Gen Z lol 😅

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental.

Well, honestly Anon.... MOST Celebrities (I feel) have realized over the years that the LESS they share of their personal life, the BETTER. If you go back 7 years....even just 5 years....and you were to go back in time and be on IG or Twitter as a fan back then, you would see that Z, Tom, Timothee, shoot....even Austin, Nadia lol, etc. ALL used to be waaaay more personable, engaging, and even posted WAY more on their social media accounts back then compared to now. I think over the years, a LOT of these celebrities (especially the ones who are fairly famous) have all realized just how toxic social media has become in just such a short time, and I think they have figured out that the less they share, the better.

Fans have definitely crossed the line, and these actors have realized that they need to put a boundary again btwn them, their private life, and their fans. That's just my own personal observation and theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness.

I definitely think you should curate your online account for your own happiness and not worry too much about Tom. With that said, while he may have liked that post, we can't say with 100% accuracy that "he doesn't care" about what people say about him. He IS human after all. He might not care about ALL things, but certain things might def be hurtful.

[stargirlfeyre]

“Azriel may be boring as shit but at least he never went after someone who was actively treating Feyre like shit. At least the Archeron he’s going after is actually working to fix her relationship with Feyre. Cassian went for someone who was still treating his friend like dog shit and I just can’t respect that.” ALL OF THIS

i’m always hesitant to say this bc some ppl are super sensitive when it comes to cassian for some funny reason (all the other boys are able to be criticized but not him bc he can be funny?) but part of why i don’t like him as much as azriel is because of how he went for nesta too early on, it was super premature for him to come onto her so blatantly in front of everyone even when she was mortal and he’d literally just met her, knowing how feyre was treated etc…i adore cassian when i don’t look at his character too closely. as much as i prefer feyssian over feyzriel because of her and cassian having more sweet bestie moments than her and az do, whenever there’s a discussion i’ll always choose az first because of cassian and nesta. like anon said i can’t help but put myself in feyre’s shoes when i’m reading but i don’t like that he came onto nesta the way he did and how soon he did, and he had no shame about it in front of feyre and the rest.

i know some people are super chill or they have sisters or family members that cross these lines all the time, like your friend flirting with your sister, but in my family or friend groups we don’t do that especially if a sister is really mean to me, why would i approve of my friend going for her so blatantly in front of me? it’s not so much a harsh or possessive petty thing but just basic morale? cassian imo doesn’t get enough flack for how he came onto nesta so soon. it’s true too that at least az didn’t show any signs of having a crush until acowar and acofas, i prefer someone humbly and respectfully handling a crush on my sister than how in your face cassian was about it with nesta in only book two. idk sometimes it feels like his dick thinks for him and even acosf proved that.

i prefer acowar cassian! but i also skip the pages whenever he’s acting out over nesta or they’re both being angst ridden for one another, i just can’t take it seriously bc he was obv thinking with his dick or mating bond and she was still treating everyone like they were less than her despite her being a pos who has never done anything.

idk 😮‍💨 like i said it’s so easy to love cass as a character when you don’t look at his dynamic with nesta from feyre’s shoes in book two. i imagine mainly feyre stan’s struggle with him due to his attachment to nesta so early on. that bonus chapter anon mentioned where cassian put his body up against nesta’s asking whether she was a virgin or not? he’d only recently met her and was doing that, it being too soon aside, it was very inappropriate to do. even mor made it clear that he acts that way with women when they don’t want him and see’s it as “a challenge” just 10 reasons why az and rhysand will always come off as the most mature to me.

the other reasons i don’t favor him have to do with sjm having him refer to nesta as a queen in acosf, him always showing doubt with the ic’s decisions in acosf as if he’s not apart of the ic (why did he seem so against them in acosf at times? most of the time they were right too so it was just weird for sjm to do) saying nesta didn’t need to apologize to anyone supposedly (really sjm? 💀) having sex with nesta on a hike where she was supposed to own up to her wrongs and mature after she just told feyre she could die (inappropriate timing much..?) acting funny when rhysand felt the need to tell her to be nice to gwyn and emerie when he knows damn well rhysand isn’t at the house of wind like them to know nesta’s behavior had gotten better. how the hell would rhysand know that nesta’s not being mean to him when rhysand’s only ever seen her be rude af to everyone..? and then made it even worse when he petulantly wrapped his arm around nesta to make rhysand feel uncomfortable.

•

[gladdygirl18]

omggggg i have an amazing story for you guys! It might be a bit long im not sure but ofc as always, read under the cut

Blue me, orange BF

some spicy stuff (mainly implied)

so about a few days ago, i was chilling with my boyfriend in his room (i was doing HW/writing a story, he was reading a webtoon) and him being cheeky, started tickling my feet (i swear to fuck i think my feet got more sensitive after being with my ex-gf)

Okay so what Im about to say will shock many ppl, but in this relationship, my BF and I don't hide things from each other. So he already knows I like tickling and I have a tumblr page. He had asked me, "what is your blog about tickling?"

I told him, and I quote, "Yes, actually, it is."

Yes, I told my boyfriend I had a tickle blog.

"I've had it for about.... since before covid, or during covid, i don't remember."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm being so deadass right now. Our friends know i have a tumblr blog, but they don't know what it's about. You are the only one that knows."

I then continued to tell him that I not only do I write about the 2 of us (like I am now), but about the tickle fics i write for my OCs and characters of other fandoms. He was surprised and even looked me up on google, and low and behold, he found me.

After all of that, I then asked him, "Is it weird that i have a blog about tickling?"

"Of course not. Tickling is something you love, and from what you've told me, it's gotten you through a lot of hardships because it cheers you up. Why would I judge you or shame you for something you love and something that I can easily provide for you?"

AHHHHH I DONT DESERVE HIM I DONT 😭💖🥰

And when he said he would provide, oh my goodness, does he provide. After that conversation, he straddled me and started tickling me like crazy. When I would try to fight back, he would grab my wrist and hold them back.

"See this is why I need those restraints, because someone won't take their tickling~"

Just end me now. He said he'd mainly use them for my ankles so he could have both hands free to tickle me 😆💖😋 he is such a fucking tease i cannot with him, but i love him all the same💖🥰

And you wanna know what he said after he tickled me for damn near 5 minutes straight?

"Put that in your tickle blog~"

😶🙃💖😭WHY HE BULLY ME /jk /lh

Some days later, i believe during the weekend while at his place, he had left early morning for work and i decided to sleep in. After waking up, I helped his mother make her other sons' halloween costumes (It was really fun! My mother was a tailoress and she taught me how to mend clothes, so doing this with my boyfriend's mother felt like i was doing clothes with my momma again, and it was great 🥰💖 God bless that woman, I love her so much!)

Around mid-afternoon, my boyfriend came home from work, ad we just cuddled for the rest of the day. and once again, my boyfriend's hands started to travel up my sides and he started tickling me once again. And while I was laughing my ass off, he says, and I quote:

"Would you write about this in our tickle blog? Dear tickle blog, today my boyfriend tickled me till i couldn't breathe~"

I HATE TO ADMIT IT BUT HE DID😭😆💖

Yknow the type of laugh that just has your mouth open, nothing coming out but just air (best kind of laughs in my opinion) but yeah, he had me silent laughing.

Cut to a few days later, my boyfriend and I were getting a midnight snack. At first I thought he was being cute by hugging me from behind (how wrong I was😅) ofc he starts tickling me, and idk y but i was just very sensitive that night and I literally crumbled to the kitchen floor, and he followed me down. He sat down on the floor with me between his legs just tickling me.

"Let me gohohoho!" "Nope, I've got you right where I want you."

where we were sitting, we had a clear view of the oven door, and he goes, "Who's that giggly girl? Who is she? Do you know her?"

THE BABY TALK I CANT AHHHH 😆😆💖🥰

After that, he started tickling a part on my upper/inner thigh and oh my God. I was bucking around and laughing like a maniac, and my boyfriend couldn't help but laugh along to. He would stop after a while and ask "Are you okay?" while laughing and then do it again. His grip around me was strong but i was thrashing around a lot. "You almost knocked me off a few times there."

After he finished torturing me, he stood up, looked down at me and grinned, "Put that in your tickle blog"

"You're evil"

"Oh, dont act like you didn't love it"

I couldn't say a word after that, cuz there were no lies detected

Three mornings ago, I'm sleeping over at my boyfriend's place, and me, I like sleeping in (but we had to get up and leave the house within the hour to get to campus) but our classes started late so we had time. This man climbs on top of me and starts tickling me for like 10 minutes straight

"Rise and shine honey" "Come on, laugh for me, baby~" "Who's my tickly girl?"

AHHHHHHH I CANT WITH HIM 💖😆😭

After he finished tickling me, he craddled me in his arms and pulled me in close, hugging and kissing me sweetly.

"You don't know how happy I am that you're ticklish."

"What do you mean?"

"It's my way of giving back to you for all you do to me. I may not always give you pleasure in certain ways, but having you laugh and squirm around in my arms, and cuddle close to my chest... it makes me really happy, because it makes you happy."

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE HIM 😭💖💖🥰 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMGGGG 💖💖🥰😍

And a few days ago, my boyfriend and I had a day out with our families to have them meet (his mother and 2 younger brothers, my father and sister), and everything went along better than expected. Throughout our time out, I had wore a crop top with short shorts and ofc, my boyfriend would sneak in some tickles to my sides every now and again.

After our day out, my boyfriend's mother drove us back to campus. While driving back, my boyfriend wrapped his arm around me and started tickling me; my sides, belly, thighs, behind my knees, neck

AND I COULDN'T MOVE CUZ WE WERE IN A CAR 😭😭😭I WAS LEGIT TRAPPED

But id be lying if i said that wasn't fun. When he finished tickling me, he whispered, "Put that in your tickle blog."

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh he's never letting me live that down

This was a very long TTS, only because it was covering a plethora of days and crammed it all into one. Stay tuned for another one!

Tagging the fwends: @giggly-squiggily @sunstone-smiles @burningablaze @cutesmokes @otomiyaa

[myceliumsage]

i am doing much better.

situations haven't changed. but i was able to talk about them to the person i felt i needed to, and i'm handling it better.

but shit, dudes. life is so scary rn. read under the cut if you're curious.

so, when my mom was pregnant with me she had uterine cancer (a cancer i later inherited). after i was born, she got a complete hysterectomy. her doctors now think, 24 years after that surgery, that her cancer is back, but maybe in her stomach this time. so she had some imaging done, a biopsy, and we're awaiting results.

this is scary for multiple reasons. not only is it scary because of my mother's health (she's 65), and mental health, but also - i live with my parents. my father is disabled, and my mother is the bread winner. i am a full-time student, and i would have a part time job, but i live in a remote village and there are no jobs that will either hire me, or that i qualify for (that are part time, anyway). so, my mom truly is the breadwinner. she also takes care of about 1/3 of my 33 year old brother's family bills (he has 3 special needs children).

so not only am i scared because of my mom's health and what that would entail for HER, i'm scared about what that could entail for the whole family. there are so many domino effects that are likely to occur if she does have cancer, and i can only predict some of them. they're all scary though. the knowns, and unknowns.

secondly: my dad is disabled, as i stated. he's getting around more physically than he was when i was a teenager (just due to his own stubbornness, and one slightly successful surgery), but mentally he is declining more and more by the month. he has severe traumatic brain injury, has really bad PTSD, and also is autistic (with severe communication challenges). my mom allows me to live at home, because i'm who takes care of my dad and makes sure he eats, drinks, showers, and doesn't run away. i've had to help bathe him at times when i was younger.

i'm going through it with him, because for most of last week, things with him were so bad that we almost had to send him to the psych hospital for a few days (something we've had to do a few times in the past). it was so bad this time though, and he had to go to the ER where he had hurt himself, that his psych and therapist said if he continues declining like this over the next month or so, we have to look at putting him in a care facility full-time.

that would be best for him for his physical needs, yes - i know that full well. however, he's already had su!c!de attempts being home (mainly when i was a kid and a teenager). he already complains about not having freedom (we have one vehicle that mom uses, and he has no friends here + he is physically unable to hike or camp anymore like he wants to), and i'm really worried about what would happen if he was sent to a facility where he would have even less freedoms... plus, he would be even more alone. i'm his best friend. we don't have a father/child relationship - to summarize, my parents were separated when i was growing up and he worked in a town 4 hours away, so he only came home 2-3 times a month to see me and my brother, and he never lived with me fulltime until i was 15 - but rather just a friendship.

then, my partner has had a really bad couple of weeks since he started therapy, and ofc due to therapy itself AND his emdr, he's just been Going Through It. so i've been really worried about him, and there isn't anything i can do to help him.

there isn't anything i can do to help, lessen, or remove *anything* going on in my life right now. at all. everything is happening, or probably about to happen, and i just have to be okay with it.

PLUS friends of mine that i've had for legit 6+ years are ghosting me out of nowhere (not removing me from socials, but just blatantly ignoring me) and i don't know why??? and like, part of me thinks i deserve it bc i've cut quite a few (toxic) ppl out of my life this year, so maybe i'm toxic to these ppl too and they're doing whats best for them??? but they've *never* had *any* conversation with me regarding behaviors they found problematic with me, so i just... idk. but yeah, i have a much smaller support group than i thought i had. and the only person i felt 100% comfortable talking to abt any of this was, sadly, my partner - and i had to wait a good 2 weeks before he was even in a position where i felt he could even somewhat handle what i was throwing at him. (he handled it well, didn't take it as his own, but helped me calm down a bit.)

but yeah. shits just... shit. also i have to put my dog down at the end of summer/before winter, as she's almost 13 and is barely mobile and her kidney disease is reaching its last stages... so. i've had her for literally half my life. which is *wild*. so there's grief in that as well.

but yeah.

anyway. :)

[plasticfangtastic]

Okay so i gotta talk about Gen V ep 5 or am gonna explode!

And gotta talk about The Boys S4 spoilers for 2 reasons... 1) something mentioned by Dr Cardosa in the episode and 2) the VoughtHQ twitter leaker... mainly cuz am getting this after trying to check on a leak from season 4... their twitter also wont load for me... like can we just let Becca Saunders rest? Can her poor life stop being milked for manpain??

Spoilers under cut obvi.

First-- off congrats Marie and Jordan I hope you 2 get married and be the power couple this universe needs.

Second here its out Butcher cameo lol. I think this is from S1 after killing madelyn but seeing him in a beanie its so weird altho there is a Homelander article in the same page so who knows.

Third-- Cate you poor bitch!! I felt so betrayed but i dont doubt she its being brainwashed/groomed by Dean Shety so maybe she can be redeemed and her powers are too strong.... i dont doubt that there its a chance she its involved in who appears in ep 6 if thats not a halucination.

Fourth-- Dr. Cardosa mentioning a virus to deal with them... so i guess thats how we r gonna deal with the supe population and why i think the vought hq leak might be real as it mentions the virus as well... i think its super interesting that Vought its developing a virus to kill supes, i guess stan edgar did had a way to make V24 viable despite having supes and maybe a way to get rid of Homelander... by giving him the common cold i guess.

Fifth-- am glad that Maverick is another bisexual king but its the bestiality jokes necessary?? altho I assume his alpaca gf Sloane its just a shapeshifter. So far we got Marie, Jordan, Emma, Cate and Andre as our bisexual monarchs and thats basically the whole cast sans Sam... absolutely iconic Kripke, best apology after fucking up Dean Winchester but i wont forgive you for what u did... still thank you.

Sixth-- the pv for the next ep has fucking Soldier Boy!!! Deep down i feel he its most likely a halucination... saw some ppl theorizing that Cate its mindstorm daughter and she witnessed Mindstorm getting killed by SB so she will use her powers to send them to a mind prison to fight SB which is absurd but i doubt SB its there unless Cate's powers were use to brainwash soldier boy and use him as a weapon in the future, as his powers r too good plus is Vought wants to kill all supes then it makes sense for them to team up with the american govt and have SB as back up while they work with the Superona.

Seventh-- i only now noticed there its a wall poster for homie and loneliness on those school mental health ads which is sad and funny.

Eight-- overall great episode loved how much its happening and its only been days inside the canon, and fuck Rufus! How its the next 3 eps gonna kill me!! Like its too freaking much!!

And finally this shit...

I would not be surprised if this virus is the one being developed in The Woods by Vought, second if this is real then Butcher its a complete pos and a hypocrite i expect the following scenarios of: a) during the time Becca was raped or the wk she went missing thats when Butcher cheated on Becca so its not hatred that motivated his revenge against Homelander but guilt for cheating on his wife... probably with his married fbi plug if i had to take a guess. Or B) Becca learned of his affair decided to have her own affair with Homelander tried to end it which resulted in her S.A. which its why Homelander doesnt see what he did as rape bcuz i guess its not assault if its ur GF/Wife in his mind.

And i guess he takes V or the V24 never left his body unless some Supe can give powers which cause Butcher to use them am so confused is he like a power conduit???

I am gonna say Frenchie or MM will die in this story unless by main characthers they mean any of the Seven, Vought execs or Neuman... doubt Hughie, Starlight, Kimiko or Homelander are gonna die in S4.... but maybe Ashley who knows.

And finally giving cookies to Ryan did like HL saw the tumor felt sad for Butcher and decided to let him see Ryan? or did Ryan just sneaked out and met Billy??

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

pinkmoonmutual i think i have come to u about my adoring fixations on older men before. I woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with this guy I really like and it was so wonderful and perfect and exactly what I want from him....a very nice dream to have, and it fits into what ive been working on recently which is human relationships and figuring out what I want and how to have it... its difficult for me because I love people SO MUCH often after a very short amount of time, this is especially true of older people because I crave sibling affection I didn't get growing up but it happens with people my own age too. and ah idk I'm never sure how to express it to people because love and intensity are things most people only want and expect from romantic attraction. and I'm not opposed to that but especially with older men this becomes difficult because the people I love are not interested in dating people 10 years younger than them and really it would be inappropriate (this guy was my professor! not gonna happen!) and i just end up feeling really creepy and weird and not knowing what to do with this huge adoration and affection inside me. so tricky I really wish you could just be /in love/ with someone and tell them and have them see it as a nice thing and not me trying to get sex or romantic commitment from them. i wish i was a little dog so i could just curl up at his feet and have it be simple. guuuuhhhhhhhh honestly i just wanted to tell you about my crush. I only knew this guy for like a month and a half so its a bit silly but hes so pretty and smart and cool and really inspired me to live and pushed me in the direction im currently going. its just tricky tricky im probably over complicating it but do you think there's more to love than the relationships that people in our world expect? I love people like theyre a god TT .. even talking about it here feels vapid compared to how it is for me. anyway nice dream thanks universe and i hope the pinkmoonworld is nice today <3

i understand u <3 it is a vary nice day in pinkmoonworld thanku for the wish~~~i know this dilemma tho sigh , my thoughts below..

i always felt like my admiration of people was extreme & consuming , i still do to a certain extent its a big part of the reason WHY i became a bit withdrawn like i struggle w how attached i get to others. i dont want to ask for anything in return but i feel shame when people find me creepy lol. And even then, that shame isnt rly the reason i've become untrusting with my heart, cold ppl r the least of my worries, i understand them.. moreso it's dangerous for me when i encounter someone who recognizes i am This Way & instead of being plainly disinterested or aloof they consciously decide to Use my affections in a sinister manner for their own advantage. that's what's mainly caused me to bcome distant even tho i want to love those ppl too.

so despite distance i still need some outlet for these loveful feelings so i guess i've spent the past 5-ish years working on ways to be overly compassionate in a safer manner.. And a big part of that is that i rly find the purest form of love to be platonic love, when theres not really any expectations or prize for being close to someone yet u still are, that kind of love speaks the deepest to me. and it's funny because really shortly after i surrendered my quest for romantic love, like completely surrendered , is when i met SLIMBO, and thru my efforts to be a really good friend to them we ended up falling sooooooo deeply sincerely in love like nothing i;ve ever known. if we had rushed into a relationship idk if it wld be the same , like having it slowly blossom over the course of a few years w no pressure, it's the foundation upon which we could be SO deeply sure we would always be together.

So the way u speak of loving ur crush, i'd say, just continue to act kindly towards him and everyone else u encounter, with no expectations of them.. people really need this like i think everyone needs to know what it feels like to experience a True Friend a selfless friend. it's rare! i rarely meet anyone who i feel doesn't want *something* from me that i cant give them. and i dont even want to hold that against them! im just saying, what U feel is rare so u should embrace it. allow yourself to exude love as much as u can and that frequency will return to u, just like how it did for me and slimbo...And other friends ive made along the way ^_^ Follow you heart.. maybe he's older but who knows what could happen. i've dated ppl 10 years older than me cus i have always acted like grandpa. sometimes ppl will just see u for ur soul.

and maybe ur dream is pointing u in a right direction, idk, i confessed my love to slimbo a few days after having a dream that we held hands. Ofc we had been friends for 2 years by this point so the time felt right, not every dreams mean u should confess, but i feel like having a sweet dream such as that can be a sort of telepathic experience sometimes.. show a connection between you and him on the astral plane. Take time to enjoy life n enjoy having a crush too cus it can be really fun to feel that crazy over someone :] thats my thoughts.....good luck with your heart, PMD9 out !

[dreamtydraw]

please talk to us about your ocs 💕💗💕💗💕

I am currently praying this post dosen't get eatean by tumblr because this is the third time i'm writting it ╭( ๐_๐)╮

First of all i want to thanks you guys for genuinly asking because i really didn't tought it would interest ppl as i am never sure, so once again, thanks you for asking ♡

Euhm euhm....

☆SYMBOLISM OF MY OUR LIFE MC☆

Nda : english is not my first language so i excuse myself in advance for possible typos.

Second nda : because this post is already long enough, Valentin is getting a separated post about her design.

Before starting the analysis there are informations that needs to be given first! When creating my mc I only had a summary of the game: for example, didn't know who Lizzie would be but chose my me to look similar to her by accident, making them looks even more like siblings.

Cerise name was chosen because I wanted her to have a name/appearance fruit inspired, choosing the French translation of Cherry as her name and a mandarine based design. Her last name ( fourth ) comes from the fact that every time I replayed the game I updated her last name to make it easier to differentiated my saves, the fourth run being my favorite. She doesn't have any specific ethnicity and her color palette was chosen to fit in the summer aesthetic, but also an autumn palette aesthetic.

The autumn colors are more present during stressful periods (end of high school, start of step 4) mainly because of the start of adulthood and leaving sunset bird.

Patterns usually associated with Cerise are fruits patern, dots, and ribbons. Cerise also has a very visible scar on her face (the backstory of the scar here) this scar is in the middle of her forehead, it's massive and one of the first features of her you can see, this is im portant for her character.

Now last important info before going on analysis step by step : Cerise was written as a nonverbal autistic child, this and other little details of mannerisms make her a very closeted person. Her character evolve with time, but through the shaping of it, her looks change too.

In step 1 Cerise only had her scar for a year now. She's scared of interacting with people and her prominent feature drowns too much attention into her, so she does what every 8 year old kid think is best; hide it.

Cerise's face is always covered with her hair. It's messy and nonpractical but showing her bareface is too much for her, the idea of people looking at her is just too scary for her.

She usually wears shift dresses because the loose fabric is comfortable and feels right.

She also wear platform sandal, she likes to feel tall and be the same height as her big sister.

The dominant color of her childhood clothes is green, white, and blue. Those color are chosen because little cerise likes her town, she likes the sky, the hill and the ocean.

As time passed by, Cerise now having a friend ( no siloh did not pass the friendship test, Cove is her first friend ), she feels less self conscious about her face. As she grew up she felt less scared and gained bit of self confidence.

But growing up means, Cerise entered middle school, and here started her complicated relathionship with school. Between the terrible stress of work being very hard for her and everyone not being little kid anymore, many thing changed and so did she.

In step 2, influenced by all the people around her, Cerise wants to look pretty and tries to put more effort into her appearance. As she never cut her hair they are very long so she starts by that: trying different hairstyles, her most common one is the side braid ponytail. She's still scared but she's not a kid anymore, Cerise is now able to go out her face not covered.

Now older she was allowed get her ears pierced and so she did.

Growing up she chose yellow as her favorite color because "it has a positive vibe" but secretly it was also because it reminded her of her sister.

Her wardrobe was filled with pretty clothe, ribbons, pretty cutted shirt and flowers patern. Although she intended to wear pretty clothes the types stayed the same : practical shorts and shirt.

She tries to be more feminine with little details like nail polish, hair accessories to look nice.

At the age of 13 years old, Cerise started having a noticeable chest and she hated it. Every clothes she felt too revealing was never wore again, everything that brang attention to her body was hided: tank top got banned from her wardrobe.

Fun fact : she ended up getting a sport shirt because it reminded her of Derek

Middle school is a period of self reflexion, and questioning herself that what she did. Moving to high school her anxiety didn't left but self confidence started to rise now that she felt pretty trough the help of accessories . She felt comfortable in her appearance but still worried of people's opinion, still unsure of what to feel about her body.

Summer 2016 or like they named it... The year of the incident... After 18 years of keeping her extremely long hair, Cerise's cut her hair short to try a new look. Out of highschool, she was worried and lost about herself and her possible future, this new hairstyle marked the start of a new search of self. ( cove discovered it when he came back from his mom and was quite in shock )

This last vacation of her tern year's was bittersweet and she spent it terrified of what the future may hold. Not a kid but not an adult, everything was scary and it reflected into her color scheme who gained more dull and earthy tones.

Her love for accessories grew with her and she started wearing rings, chockers but mainly a lot of bracelet, lot of which she shared with other.

Her love for yellow shifted to green, she tried to feel more adult to feel less scared about the future

Her discomfort with showing skin got mixed with her liking of wearing layered clothes. Her wardrobe got filled with long skirts and overalls dresses.

Her habit of wearing nail polish stayed but instead of the funky color she settled for the same dark green.

Fun facts : she traded one of her rings with one of Baxter's.

She has as multiple friendship bracelet handmade that she shares with Cove.

At the end of Summer, Cerise still scared of what the futur could bring, took the scariest but best decision of her life : moving out of Sunset bird.

Cerise took a year gap after high school and went traveling abroad. She did it to face her biggest fears and focus on herself. It was the decision that shifted her life like she needed. The experience helped her a lot and she grew up to become who she always dreamed of to be. She was not scared of people anymore, she found who she wanted to be and was happy with herself. She went back to appreciate what she used to like : bright color, feminine and comfy clothes, accessories, the ocean, the hills, her home town. Her scar didn't meant anything to her anymore, she liked who she was regardless of exterior opinion.

Inspired by internet fashion, Cerise developed an interest for cottage core and many other soft aesthetic .

She has 3 piercing each ear but often wear just two set of earrings.

She went back into liking yellow as one of her favorite color, but kept green along side of it.

She still wear green nail polish .

Her favorites clothes are long summer dresses.

She feels comfortable to show some skin after a long time of self hatred, now embracing any type of clothes regardless of if it's brings attention to her.

She dosen't wear her accessories as much as she used to but still hold an important love toward it.

Cerise became Cerise and accepted her likes and dislikes to become the best version of herself when it comes to her appearance.

END OF THE POST

If you read that much i thanks you for it ! Hope you'll have a nice day and here, a little Cerise to end this post