#this is like... the most Russian book I've ever read

[bluedelliquanti]

Before I go on vacation, I present my list of my top books for 2024.

COMICS:

Roaming by Jillian Tamaki & Mariko Tamaki

Bunt! by Ngozi Ukazu & Mad Rupert

Ukazu and Rupert are a powerhouse team, and as an art school adjunct, this already funny GN is even funnier (albeit in a way that necessitates a skull emoji in the educator groupchat)

Tiffany’s Griffon by Magnolia Porter Siddell & Maddi Gonzalez

Phobos and Deimos by J Dalton

Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui

It's a tough task to reach a satisfying conclusion to a series that was as strong as Dungeon, but I think Kui accomplished it!

Fool Night by Kasumi Yasuda

King in Limbo by Ai Tanaka

Over the last year I've been drawn towards comic series that work with a retro, fixed-width inking style, and King especially informed some recent experiments of mine.

PROSE:

Twins by Bari Wood & Jack Geasland

When I learned Wood was responsible for the book that became Dead Ringers, I knew I had to try it. This is the one that wins my "Oh, shit! Wow!! Okay!!!" award for the year (distinctions previously awarded to Cyteen and Manhunt).

The Bezzle by Cory Doctorow

DS9: A Stitch in Time by Andrew J. Robinson

Those of you who read my journal comic from last August might recall that I met Robinson at a Trek convention! I'd learned from reading these books that Stitch was considered a white whale among collectors, and now I absolutely understand why. If you're a DS9 fan and you want to try any book from the original run of novels, try this one. By which I mean, try the far easier-to-find audiobook version.

Translation State by Ann Leckie

A Woman of the Iron People by Eleanor Arnason

Fellow SBCF participant Erin Roseberry had shared this title as an inspiration for their comic, The Maker of Grave-Goods, and I was especially interested in trying a book by a Twin Cities author. What a serendipitous find!

Arboreality by Rebecca Campbell

For the third year in a row, a book nominated for the Le Guin Prize makes the list.

Always Coming Home by Ursula K. Le Guin

This is another book I always told myself I'd try someday, and was it ever worth it! I spent some time talking about my experience with this story (and its accompanying materials that fill out the world) in my talk with Evan Dahm on his show.

See you in the new year! I've packed some thick books for a long flight, so I'm starting my 2025 reading pile right away!

Reruns of my previous two lists, 2023, and 2022, below the cut.

2023

COMICS:

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou by Hitoshi Ashinano

Out of Style by Devi Putri Megwati

Skip and Loafer by Misaki Takamatsu

The Harrowing of Hell by Evan Dahm

The Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu

Esteban by Matthieu Bonhomme

I covered my ShortBox reccs back in October, but since then I also picked up Pearl Hunting by Hana Chatani when it came to itch.io and adored it.

PROSE: 

So yes, maybe I'm cheating by including Moby Dick since I'm not all the way finished, but Whale Weekly really did end up being a great tool for getting me to crack open my gorgeous Evan Dahm-illustrated copy I've had for a while.

My favorite book of the year is Roadside Picnic by Arkady & Boris Strugatsky. I genuinely did read it the first week of January, but after having it recommended to me for years, I'm thrilled it didn't disappoint. Maybe I am someone who likes Russian novels after all???

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto

Such Nice People by Sandra Scoppettone

Cyteen by C.J. Cherryh (I jokingly placed these three in the "READ 👏 FEMALE 👏 AUTHORS 👏" category because they don't have anything in common other than describing some of the most upsetting/bizarre scenarios I've read this year. Cyteen especially! Wowee!!!)

Brother Alive by Zain Khalid

Glory by Vladimir Nabokov

A Different Trek by David K. Seitz, which I mentioned as my vacation book for the Star Trek convention, but it's given me some great suggestions for more books, both fiction and otherwise. Also, I read... 11 more DS9 books this year. 

2022

COMICS:

Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa

Vattu by Evan Dahm

The Well by Choo and Jake Wyatt

Wash Day Diaries by Robyn Smith and Jamila Rowser

Some ShortBox Comics Fair entries that are graphic novella length and are really good include Food School by Jade Armstrong and The God of Arepo by Reimena Yee et al.

PROSE:

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

The Murders of Molly Southbourne by Tade Thompson

How to Blow Up a Pipeline by Andreas Malm

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman

Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

The Past is Red by Catherynne M. Valente

edit: oh my god I can't believe I forgot Perfume by Patrick Süskind

Honorable mentions from the pile of DS9 novelizations include Revenant by Alex White (for successfully pulling off a Sara Paretsky-style mystery in space) and Dominion War: Call to Arms by Diane Carey (for absolutely unhinged adjective choices).

[perfectwitchcrown]

Allusions in Make the Exorcist Fall in Love

So far in Make the Exorcist Fall in Love there’s been a lot of allusions to various texts. I thought it might be fun to compile all the ones people have noticed so far as far as I've seen. Some of these are more speculative than others and I will update as I go along. Also, I read Ekuoto as free first read chapters on Mangaplus so unfortunately I can’t go back and check much so this is largely through memory, so if anyone has anything else to add I would greatly appreciate it! All I’ve got is a few screenshots and a dream. If I get anything wrong feel free to correct me! I’ve organized this in order of allusions I’m confident about to allusions I’m less so confident about.

CW: reference to sexual violence

Dante's Divine Comedy and Vita Nuova: Dante Alighieri

This one is pretty obvious since there are characters directly named after the characters figured in Dante’s Inferno. It’s been a long time since I read it, but other details are also taken from the text, such as the frozen center of hell where Satan is located.

Lmao Leah from the Bible (who is probably Leah’s namesake) also shows up in Dante’s Divine Comedy apparently in Purgatorio.

Ok also super important to Dante retellings r Beatrice, who’s used as a symbol of divine love and is instrumental to Dante's journey through hell, purgatory, and paradise, so of course Ekuoto Dante advises Priest to fall in love lmao. So far though there hasn’t been a direct Beatrice in narrative (which there might never be one since the text has already made the Dante-Virgil connection an active choice of Virgilius's to reference the Divine Comedy rather than just an allusion by the author).

To be so real though I figure that Vergilius is probably also intended to be the Beatrice in this narrative.

The points I would draw attention in support of this would be these: 1. Beatrice is the woman who Dante has been in love with since early childhood but unable to ever be with because they both married others. Ekuoto Virgilius and Dante have known each other since childhood, and have something going on. 2. Beatrice is, like Virgil, one of Dante’s guides (through part of purgatorio and paradiso) 3. We still don’t know what Virgilius’s name was before he took that one on. Beatrice does not have a masculine form in current use and I tried finding some sort of nickname that would work and was unable to do so. However. Beatrice’s name is rendered in Japanese as ベアトリーチェ, and Beato is at least a surname. Then again, I’m not sure anyone has both a first name and last name except for Imuri so far???

"Book of Tobit"

I wasn’t familiar w this one so I didn’t notice it until I saw posts pointing it out, but the Asmodeus flashback was a retelling of the book of Tobit. Other people have already done analysis of this so I’d recommend checking other’s out. Unfortunately I failed to save the link to any of them so I can’t pass any along :’) Belfagor arcidiavolo: Machiavelli

Another one that I wasn’t familiar with but have seen people referencing. As above, I recommend checking out other’s analysis. "Those Who Walk Away from Omelas": Ursula K. Le Guin

The Brothers Karamazov: Fyodor Dostoevsky

Ok major spoilers and I also highly recommend this book, but also, its super long so I don’t blame anyone who chooses not to read. This book is about the most disgusting father alive and his three, maybe four, sons: Dimitri, Ivan, Alyosha, and maybe Smerdyakov (rumored to be an illegitimate son). Most of the action follows Alyosha, who is the youngest and probably the most idealistic character in the novel, at least in the beginning. Alyosha starts out as a novice in the local Russian Orthodox monastery under the purview of Father Zossima, an elder who really emphasizes love in religious practice. There's a series of chapters that cover a theological debate between Ivan and Alyosha.

In this theological debate, Ivan is arguing not that God doesn’t exist, but that the foundation of the world as understood by Christianity is something he fundamentally rejects.

Quotations from the Signet Classics edition:

“I don’t accept this world of God’s. Although I know it exists, I don’t accept it at all. It’s not that I don’t accept God, you must understand, it’s the world created by Him I don’t and cannot accept” (Dostoevsky 266) - “If all must suffer to pay for eternal harmony, what have children to do with it?....I understand solidarity in sin among men. I understand solidarity in retribution too; but there can be no such solidarity with children. And if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their father’s crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension” (Dostoevsky 276)

“Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end, giving them peace and rest at last. Imagine you are doing this but that it is essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature—that child beating its breast with its fist, for instance—in order to found that edifice on its unavenged tears. Would you consent to be the architect on those conditions?” (This quotation, although from a different translation, is the one that inspired Omelas - I think the bowling alley theological discussion between Virgilius and Priest bears some similarities to this conversation. Its not a debate about the existence of god, but rather a debate whether or not the world envisioned by Christianity is inherently unjust or not. Demian: Hermann Hesse

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas”

Potential references but tbh they’re a bit of a stretch:

“Book of Martha”: Octavia Butler

"Book of Martha" is an Octavia Butler short story in the Bloodchild collection about an ordinary woman who is visited by god one day who tells her to choose one thing to change about people to try and make the world a better place. It’s a very short read and I’d recommend reading it before you read the next sentence where I’ll spoil the end.

She eventually decides that the thing to focus on is people’s dreams. Specifically, to give them the things they desire most within their dreams, in the hope that people will be less violent to each other in real life. A stretch, but Octavia Butler comes from similar recommendation circles as Ursula K. Le Guin (feminist science fiction authors with overlapping periods of activity) so I don’t think it’s impossible for the most recent chapters' use of dreams to hold some sort of inspiration from this short story. Again, this one is a pretty big stretch, as the idea of dreams to escape reality is pretty common.

The Monk: Matthew Lewis

Ok! So! Demon seduces a person is like not at all an original story (The Daemon Lover, Cazotte’s The Devil in Love, etc etc). BUT! The Monk is specifically a story that’s like. What if there was this extremely virtuous young man who has never lived in the outside world ever because he was raised in the church as an orphan and then the devil sent a demon girl to seduce him.

I have not finished the book yet so I can’t comment in depth on it other than to say the concept is similar but the execution so far is very different (It's a fairly misogynistic text. Ambrosio turns evil in ways that I doubt Priest will because thematically they’d go completely against the story. Also, The Monk is veryyy lurid in terms of Lust is Evil!!! And will turn you into a murdering maniac!!!! Because evil women are out there seducing you!!! Whereas so far sexual desire in Ekuoto has been handled as a perfectly natural thing, but complicated by religion, patriarchy, trauma, etc.)

This is all I have so far but I'd be interested to see if anyone else has any other ideas!

[flowersforzoe11]

my favorite thing about the Alex Rider fandom is that the author and the actual fandom have extremely opinions on characters.

FOR EXAMPLE:

-AHorz realized he killed off the greatest character in his series way too soon (yassen<3) and proceeded to not only write Russian Roulette (which was not only the decades of lore we all needed BUT it was quite simply a love letter to Yassen Gregorovich) but also actively chose not to kill him off during the tv series (i'm still on S1 so no spoilers but i know that Yassen lives)

-the fandom loves us some K Unit, and what does AHorz do??? he brings back my glorious Ben Daniels for Snakehead and makes him a recurring character

-i feel like a lot of fanfic has a very softer/humanized version of Mrs. Jones. Jones is absolutely culpable for everything Alex goes through, but i feel like she's more human in most fics i've ever read, and AHorz definitely softens her up as he further develops her character (would love other opinions on this take)

i'm sure there's pieces i missed, but in hindsight it's extremely funny how much the earlier AR fic was to the later books in the series (team yassen always)

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 nonfiction books?

like. ever? damn, anon, asking the hard questions. this is based mostly on my current bookshelf, largely because it's the best basis I have for my memory

1. Splintered Light by Verlyn Flieger. This book changed the way I thought about Tolkien and The Silmarillion especially, and heavily informed my thesis (indirectly, mostly). I have been...less than impressed with most of Flieger's work I've read since, but this book has stuck with me.

2. Black Earth by Timothy Snyder. Incredibly upsetting book, very good. It's about World War II and the Holocaust, but more specifically about the way that the creation of stateless zones enables atrocities. I really like Snyder's work in general but this probably remains my favorite of his - although The Road to Unfreedom is also very good, as is Bloodlands.

3. Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller. I have such a hard time pitching this book to people because I don't really know how to summarize it. It's sort of a memoir and sort of a biography and sort of a science book and sort of...a lot of things. But it is all gorgeous and moving and compelling. I sniffled.

4. The Future Is History by Masha Gessen. I know relatively little about Russian history (I'm ashamed to admit) and this book was my first foray and boy was it a good one. I love Masha Gessen as a historian and this was just a deeply compelling look at recent history through the lens of a few different specific individuals. I still need to buy this book, actually. It's not even on my shelf and I still remember it.

5. The Chaos Machine by Max Fisher. This book fucked me up. I read most of it in about two days and a friend of mine told me "congratulations! you have discovered the reading equivalent of doomscrolling." It was also very, very good, and a damning indictment of the role major social media companies have played in shaping the social and political world of the past decade or so.

[manicpixelwench]

dear Faye.I've read The One vol.2 in Russian million times.I am still in love with it.But yesterday I've read it in English,and by some miracle it became even better.I would recommend to all who critique the story to do this way.But it would be really wonderful to have such advice in the story.Bradley is still pure joy,flirt,and sex🥰best LI ever for me.Thanks a lot for him

Hey babe!

I love messages like this, I'm so happy the book brings you joy.

I hope it's universally acknowledged that any book on Romance Club is "better" in its original language; as talented as our translators are (shout out to the localisation team!), the author's intended voice is likely most powerful in their first language.

Personally I'll never be able to read Russian well enough to appreciate Alice or Sasha's work in Russian - or understand context of funny or quirky phrases, the secret flavouring of the written language. And that's sad! I envy you.

Hell, sometimes I can't even get my sentiment across in English because it doesn't have the words or sayings I would use in Danish...

But we try. We really try our best.

Thank you for reading xxxxxx

[sreidsville]

stockholm syndrome – spencelle.

"all my life i've been on my own, i use a light to guide me home, but now, together, we're alone, and there's no other place i'd ever wanna go"

summary: where reid and the team are in a bar, and he's jealous of a guy who keeps talking to elle, that's when he realizes that he needs to confess his feelings over her.

disclaimers: there're a few bad words, drinking insinuation and derogatory thoughts.

trope: fluffy, friends to lovers!

n/a: this is my first time writing and publishing a fic in english and english is not my first language so please take it easy and if you think there's something i can improve, let me know pls :)

divider by cafekitsune | wc: 1.8k

Jealous. That's the word, Spencer is jealous. He never felt this way before, and knowing that he's feeling this weird thing over his best friend only makes it worse.

Elle is beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the whole world to Spencer – and not only to him, since on the other side of the bar there's a guy completely interested in her. That makes Reid's mind start to focus just on them. In the way the guy is holding her hand and talking about her eyes… It's too much for him.

It was Derek's idea, Spencer didn't want to go there, but the whole team was excited to have some fun after a long case, and if he didn't go… Well, what was he going to do then? Re-read all the books he got? Rewatch his favorite Russian movie? Study? Sleep? Nothing seemed as good as spending a few hours with his friends, but now…

Now he started to regret it. And it's not just about the bar, it's about him not telling his real feelings over Elle. He always thought that he could ruin their friendship, but seeing that woman with another man would ruin him.

She's smiling, drinking some whiskey, and she's gorgeous wearing a red shirt that is Spencer's favorite. Staring at her is like staring at a new universe that Spencer wants desperately to discover, but is too scared to do it.

While he's standing alone at the counter, a thought crosses his mind almost at the speed of light. It's scary, but true. It's so true that it gives him headaches. If he doesn't take action, he will lose Elle. He'll lose her for another man. It may sound a little bit melodramatic, but… It's the reality. The bottle of sparkling water in his hands doesn't seem enough anymore. He looks around and sees Derek with a girl at the dance floor, having fun. Penelope and JJ are talking and laughing while drinking cocktails. And he is there… Alone. He's almost always alone, reading and drinking coffee at his own company, and has been like this since he was a kid. But the first time he saw Elle, he didn't feel that way. She's the one who lets him talk about statistics without complaining, the one that gives him beautiful smiles with dimples, the one who truly understands him, the one that makes him feel safe and… Loved. She's the one who he cares most about after his mother. And he can't lose her without trying to confess his feelings, he just can't, he's sure about it like he's sure he needs oxygen to breathe.

He kept this secret for himself for so long that now…

“Excuse me, can I have a drink?” he asked the barman, without really thinking about it, otherwise he was going to give up.

There were so many options that he felt lost, but in the end, he had chosen a simple cocktail. It has to be enough, he needs to do something.

Elle was bored, extremely bored. The guy with blonde hair and brown eyes keeps talking about his favorite football team and the way his exes hated him for talking about it all the time – these girls were right, Elle is also starting to hate him – but she keeps trying to be sympathetic…

“You know what? My exes were bitches…” the guy said, drinking his whiskey, making Elle raise an eyebrow. “They didn't even know how to pleasure me when… You know. But I think I've found the one who completes me…”

Elle couldn't contain herself from giving him a smile of disbelief. Did he just say what she thinks he did? Oh god, he's such a dick! It’s always a man…

“Oh, really?” she asks, softly, raising her gaze to his eyes “Do you wanna know what I think about it?” She gets close to his ear, seeing the way he smiles – she hates this type of man so much that she could kick his balls now, but instead of that, she says “I think your exes did the right thing when they left you. No woman deserves a guy who doesn't even know how to have a conversation without looking like a teenager desperate for sex… You should try to act like a man next time”

“What the…?” he whispered, but Elle gave him a smile and left, without saying anything else.

She looks around, looking for the one she knows that can make her night better. The one who she can talk to all day without feeling discomfort, the one who makes her feel worth it, the one who always praise her. And she found him at the counter, drinking alone. She walks to him, sitting by his side, but he don't seem to notice until she talks.

“How are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, hi, Elle.” he looks a little disoriented.

Spencer is used to spend a long time lost in his owns thoughs and insecurities. Sometimes is hard to think about something else when all you see is your reflection at the mirror looking like all you didn't want to be. He wish he knew how to talk about this things… He wish a lot of things. And Elle knows that. She knows him better than anyone, that's why she gives him a soft smile.

"What do you have in mind, hm?” She looks so pretty under the golden light that Spencer almost forgets to answer.

“It's nothing, really. Just… bullshit.”

She rolls her eyes back, and stare at him again, almost like she’s asking if he's serious.

“I'm just… I'm feeling weird…” he confess, the first thing that came through his mind.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I want to, I just… I don't know how to talk about it, you know? I know a lot of things, a lot of words, even in different languages, but I don't know how to express myself. That's so stupid.”

He gives a weak laugh, as if he's making fun of himself, and Elle hates when he does this. He have been always like that, makes jokes about himself as if it hurts less, when in fact, it makes him feel worse, just so someone else doesn't do it first.

“Reid, just don't. Don't do that, ok?” she asks, staring at his face.

“Do what?”

“Hate yourself. Don't do that. You're always looking out for others, trying to understand them, but when it comes to yourself, you just don't take it easy. You forget to take care of yourself, and that... that destroys me. Seeing you like this, pretending to be fine.” she sight, and take his hand, holding them together. “So, be honest, just for now, ok? What do you really want to do?”

Spencer looks at their hands, together, and feel his heartbeat going faster. Be honest… that's all he needs to do now, be honest with him, with Elle.

“I wanna get out of here. Can we take a walk, please?”

She smiles, proud of him.

“You don't have to ask twice, let's go.”

Outside the bar, the wind is present, ruffling Elle’s and Spencer’s hair. The woman wears an overcoat over her shirt and crosses her bras over her chest, trying to keep warm. Reid puts his hands in his pants pockets, taking a deep breath. For a long time, they just keep walking side by side, they have this thing, words don't need to be said for them to understand each other.

They walk to a park. The stars and moon are part of the beautiful landscape around Spencer and Elle. Everything’s calm, comfortable, and remains that way when Reid signals for them to sit together on a bench. For a few minutes, they stay like this, until Spencer starts talking.

“Elle…?”

“Yes?”

“All my life I've been on my own… My mother didn't know how to take care of me after my dad left us. And I… I was alone most of the time. I had no idea about what a normal life was, I never felt normal, until-” he stops for a second, trying to work up the courage to say the next words.

Elle notices, and keeps silent waiting for him, just staring at his pretty side profile, and his expressions.

“Until…?”

“Until I met you. When I'm around you, I feel normal. I feel like nothing else matters, like I could live a normal life… And you make me want it. I wanna be normal with you.”

Spencer finally stares at the woman by his side. He looks at the way her hair looks pretty under the moonlight, at how she's smiling, looking at him, like he’s… hers. Like she's finally sure about something that he was trying to hide. But as the time passes by, he feels more nervous, and forgets the possibility of her silence being something good.

“I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't… I…”

“Spencer?”

“Yes?”

“Sometimes, you forget about the fact that you can be loved. And sometimes, you forget how much I like you” she says, her intense gaze in Reid’s eyes “Spence… I wanna be normal with you too.”

1…2…3… And he keeps staring at Elle like she's not real, like all the things she said are not real, like this is not real. Feels like a fever dream.

“W-what?”

She laughs, a genuine laugh, which makes her dimples appear and her eyes close. Reid don't understand what's so funny. People used to make fun of him, but somehow, he knows that Elle is not laughing at him.

“God, Spencer… You're adorable. Your ears are red now, did you know? It's cute, I like it.” she says softly, smiling at him, and he does the same, shyly.

“But I-I don't understand…”

“What you don't understand?”

“How can you like me.”

She looks at him like she's mesmerized, she needs him to believe in all the things she have told him during the years they spend together. In his eyes she can see his insecurities, and she wants desperately to tell him she loves all of him, and that she understands him.

“Spencer, there's a few things that we can't explain. I just do… What I just told you? You can be loved, baby, I want you to believe me when I tell you that, ok?”

The next thing Reid had time to notice was Elle's hand on his face, her soft skin, and then her lips on his. Returning her kiss was as automatic as breathing, it's easy, and it's perfect. If they keep it like this, Spencer will never even think about leaving someday. She got him tied down. And he can't think about something else that it's not this moment.

Nothing else matters, just they both, kissing under moonlight, loving each other, and he hopes it's forever and ever, because now, now he knows everything. He knows that she loves him, and now he's sure of his own fellings, finally. And that's enough for them.

[zzoupz]

when it comes to the Isan region, does the average Thai person care whether or not they side with Laos or Thailand? due to the past wars, it seems like the people of the Korat plateau have their own identity—yet from books I read, many of the younger generations feel stuck whether claiming to be “Thai” or “Lao” and in doing so only speak central Thai.

another question is are all the Russians and Chinese people in Thailand all that bad like how the media portrays them? ex: defecating in public, pushing and shoving, public drunken fights, etc. whether you’ve personally dealt them or not, do you ever wish they either not visit all together or just be very cautious and respectful of local life? 

(I think) my final question is about westernized Thais. While many foreigners visit Thailand for either cultural reasons, religious, retiring, food, sex tourism, surgeries, etc., there are many westernized Thais who have moved/visited Thailand. do you think natives sees them as lesser than or as another foreigner? are they treated differently despite having mannerisms appearance, mindset, etc. that’s more associated with the west?

hi, thanks for the questions

I may not be the best person to ask this bc I'm a Chinese descendant who grew up in central Thailand all my life haha. I can say at least from my friends they don't really care, they are just Isan and consider themselves Thai bc they are born in Thailand (and vice versa). They speak central Thai to people from other places only bc that's the universal one (as other regions also do). I don't think they have to pick a "side" considering we're not in a conflict. idk I've never heard of that before.

I've not had bad experiences with them personally. I've heard it's bad in tourist spots but that's just typical tourist behavior (hell most of the time it's USAmerican tourists that gets in trouble). So not as much as they're portrayed but they DO do that. And yes I hope they still visit but be more respectful, not just Russians and Chinese but everyone

I have an aunt who moved to USA to be a professor for about 10 years before coming back, and I can guarantee they're not treated any differently, they'll always be Thai. If anything people praise and envies them for having the money/opportunity to move aboard haha

hope those were good enough answers ! :]

[plutorine]

on lizaveta nikolaevna (demons)

— some supplementary notes / new knowledge i've picked up about liza; a bit of a ramble-y essay. may contain spoilers.

so i finished demons around late december of last year, and much like what i did after i finished crime and punishment, i went on to hunt for some journal articles about demons. i like doing that to refresh my knowledge on what i just read and clarify some themes that i might have glossed over. something i noticed was the lack of articles about liza tushina — i really wanted to understand her character some more, so i was bemoaning the scarcity of articles written about her (most of the ones i've come across are usually about stavrogin) on my private twitter account.

BUT. but. i did some more digging and found instead an article about dasha. i fully expected it to tackle her character only, but i was surprised to see that liza was mentioned several times in it.

i've always thought about the significance or the "rationale" of liza's character in demons. i thought about her a lot even after i've read the book, and i was always trying to figure out what dostoevsky could be possibly communicating to his readers through her. the general idea that i got (after weeks of Thinking Really Hard) is that liza's somehow a counterpart (i'm using this very loosely here) of stavrogin's being the disconnected, westernized russian man.

in the article i mentioned, liza is described as such:

in comparison to dasha:

as we know, liza is not above displaying her emotions; she also doesn't hold back especially when there's something she wishes to say. by dostoevsky's standards, liza is a "westernized" woman, too — she's passionate, assertive, and progressive, not at all like his otherwise "meek" female characters (e.g. dasha in this case; sonya from c&p) who embody the traits of a Good Christian Girl™️

another interesting point i want to touch on is liza's poor health / sickly disposition. there's a passage where the narrator says that liza rides around town according to the doctor's advice. additionally, we know that she's prone to hysterics / having fits. apart from a physical sense, i think this can also be understood as a "spiritual sickness", or at least a kind of vulnerability, which made her susceptible to the temptations of the moral bloodsucker that is stavrogin. she succumbs to temptation, she sins, and she buckles under the weight of her sin.

a little off tangent but the article i'm referencing here also talked about how this sickly-ness of liza is like that of stavrogin; it's something born out of her social class. it's why she holds much contempt towards dasha — liza thinks it's outrageous that she has to compete with a "serf-wench" for stavrogin's attention. it also explains why she thinks that marya lebyadkina can't possibly be her other rival, because she's outside her circle / way below the social status ladder, and therefore does not exist to her and is not a valid candidate as another rival for stavrogin's attention.

whew. anyway, that's it. i've wanted to make a longer post about this because i can only write so much on twitter, and because i've always been fascinated with liza ever since i finished the novel. please don't take this as me hating her — much like the other characters, she's got her own flaws that should be acknowledged alongside her strengths. this is simply me looking back on what i've read and making it make more sense to myself.

also, if you're interested in reading the article for yourself, this is the title:

if for any reason you don't have access to this / can't access it, feel free to send me a dm and i can email you a copy of it ^^

[still-july]

hows it going !! have you read any good books lately ?? :)

hi rose!!! it's going alright, i just finished the exam i was most worried about so that's a relief

i've been reading lots of books lately!!! (no it's not escapism as a coping method shut up)

here are some of my favourites, in no particular order:

format = title: description (my personal thoughts)

currently reading

Octavia's Brood: a collection of social-justice based short stories (I'm not done with this one yet but I'm liking it so far! there was one i especially liked called the long memory, and i thought runway blackout and sanford and sun were really interesting too)

The Color of Law: a history book about the tactics of redlining and the HOLC (i can't read it too often or i get pissed, but it's well-researched and fascinating)

The Whalebone Theater: historical fiction set in 1928 England about an orphan who finds a whale washed up on the beach (i just started this one, so i have no clue where it's gonna go from here lol)

The Brothers Karamazov: a classic russian novel about family (i'm so mad at myself for this one. i was gonna read the importance of being earnest next off my classics list. i had it all planned i checked out the edition i wanted i was so ready. and then my stupid brain was like. what if we got absurdly sucked into this dostoevsky book instead. what if we threw off all of our plans. what if we squished alyosha's cheeks bc he's so freaking sweet. anyways i'm mildly obsessed and i want to finish it as fast as possible so i can get into the fandom. also fyodor pavlovitch deserves to die in a ditch please and thank you)

Butch is a Noun: a collection of essays about butch identity and queer theory (i have already ranted about this but it's soooo good and also free online! more ppl should read it)

recently finished

A Psalm for the Wild-built: a eco-futuristic book about a traveling monk who meets a robot (REALLY REALLY GOOD. i knew i was gonna like it bc several ppl recommended it to me but wow. amazing. unfortunately the wait time is ages so i haven't read the second in the series yet)

Another North: a collection of essays about loss (it was alright but not my favorite ever. i did recommend it to my mom who loved it though)

Picks and Shovels: third book in the marty hench series, thriller novel about a forensic accountant (the description makes it sound boring but it's really really not i LOVE this series so goddamn much. it's suspenseful and vibrant and just a fucking fabulous series. also i just really really love Cory Doctorow and his writing. his fiction is great (especially Radicalized ughhhh) and also his nonfiction blog pluralistic.net is incredibly well written and important. also i got to meet him at a (free!!) book signing! he was so nice :)) also also: his 4-part podcast on cbc called understood: who ruined the internet is great. it talks about how awful the Internet is now and names the EXACT people who enacted the policies that made it that way. 2 out of the 4 episodes are out, it's really insightful and important especially right now. tl:dr Cory Doctorow is pretty much the most important science/tech person on the Internet right now and the martin hench series is a great entry point to his stuff. it got me caring about things like interoperability and ip law and the legal precedent on open source code. anyways the first book is called red team blues and i highly recommend it!!!)

We're Here: a collection of the best queer speculative fiction of 2020 (generally pretty good, i really really liked the short story the currant dumas though)

The City We Became: speculative fiction novel about cities that become human (look. I know I've talked about this already. but jesus fuck goddamn christ i fucking LOVE neek i need to absorb him into my body. in a platonic way though. he is literally everything to me i think about him constantly. i guess there are other characters in the book too)

Iron Widow: fantasy with a strong Chinese influence (my lovely mutual @rootbeerrex recommended this to me and i finished it within 48 hours. really really good book, i can't wait to read the second one (i unfortunately left it at a friend's house and can't get it back until this weekend :/ )

finished a while ago but am still thinking about because it's so good

Symphony for the City of the Dead: biography of Dmitri Shostakovich, a Russian composer (OUGH i really really liked this one. it made me want to be friends with shostakovich which is maybe not the best thing for a historical work to be but makes for a very fun reading experience. also i just really love shostakovich's music so it was cool to learn the context in which it was written. this book was one of the few biographies i really loved, i don't usually go for them but this was worth it)

The Mars House: a sci-fi book about the politics between mars-born people and earth-born people (i'm putting it on this list because i really liked the worldbuilding and the first half but i wasn't a big fan of the ending tbh. january deserved better)

The Boy with a Bird in his Chest: a fantasy realism coming-of-age story about a boy named owen who literally has a bird living in his ribcage. it's also a metaphor for queerness though (RAFGHJGKFJFHGGHH i loved this book so much!!!!! i don't know why but it hits so hard. definitely made me sob at multiple points. probably gonna reread it as soon as i can. fantastic book. please read it)

Between The World and Me: nonfiction letter by Ta-Nehisi Coates to his son about the realities of being Black in america (incredible piece of literature, i think everyone should read it at least once. it's also inspired by Baldwin's Letter to My Nephew which is hands-down my favourite Baldwin essay, so that was cool!)

The Book Eaters: dark & gritty fantasy set in the UK, about several mysterious families who have the power to eat books and consume their contents. however, some rare children are born with a hunger not for books, but for human minds. (definitely a page-turner!! i couldn't set it down and i read it in like a day. horror/gritty fantasy isn't really my usual genre but it was really well done here)

Africa is Not a Country: nonfiction writing that pushes against preconceptions and stereotypes about Africa (OUGH. incredibly well-written and honestly necessary for today. also the author dipo faloyin is very funny and makes it engaging even when dealing with depressing history. on an unrelated note, did you know that approximately 90% of Sub-Saharan Africa's cultural artefacts are outside of the continent? anyways go read this book, then get mad about it, and then go do something about it.)

bonus: books i've already read before but reread recently

This Is How You Lose the Time War: a novella about two agents on the opposing sides of an interdimensional war who fall in love through time and space (i've read this once before but i recently got the chance to buy it on national indie bookstores day so obviously i leapt at the chance! and it is absolutely as good as i remembered)

Howl: this doesn't technically count as a book but i'm adding it in anyways because it's amazing. it's a long poem by Allen Ginsberg about outcasts from society and the Beat generation and liberation and it's fucking amazing. I've been rereading it a couple of lines at a time each morning, because i like making myself feel strong emotions first thing after i wake up. seriously though it's one of the most evocative pieces of writing i've read and also it makes me kind of want to carve it into my skin which is a normal response to good poetry for sure

The Anthropocene Reviewed: a collection of essays written by John Green, who used to work as a book reviewer, in which he reviews various products of humanity on a five-star rating, from diet dr. pepper to kentucky bluegrass to the notes app. (this is possibly my favourite book of all time <- lying because i am unable to choose just one favourite book :| however it is almost definitely my favourite nonfiction book, and i reread it as often as i can. it's a gorgeous study on humanity, both the good and the bad, and i absolutely think everyone should read this. i know I've said that about multiple of these books already but i really mean it for this one. my favorite essays are: academic decathlon, lascaux cave paintings, "new partner", and harvey)

okay that's it i'm done now! there's a lot more nonfiction on there than i usually read bc that was my new year's resolution and i'm actually enjoying it a lot! i just checked out this book on ancient Persia that i'm super excited to read :D also there's a lot of essays/anthologies which was not intentional, i don't know why i've been reading so many of those lately

anyways i would apologize for the sheer volume of this but you know me well enough by now to know better to expect me to have restraint. however i will apologize for the late response, life has been kicking my ass lately

[wawamouse]

20 questions for fic writers :)

Not tagged specifically but it came across my dash with a 'tagging everyone' and that includes meeee! (I think I've actually done this meme before but I don't remember it exactly. And I love filling out questionnaires, so whatever lmao)

Tagging: Everyone! Everyone who see this :P

1. How many works on AO3?

165 on main… and 9 on my RPF account from high school LOL

2. Total word count on AO3?

1,254,112 wowza! Most of that word count is from 2020 onward lol.

3. Top five fics by kudos?

We Who Have The Souls - HxH - 773 kudos

The Horror Not To be Surveyed - HxH - 717

Amethyst Remembrance - HxH - 552

Suppositions - The Walking Dead - 514

Ash is Purest White - TSOMD -191

4. What fandoms do you primarily write for?

Currently: Oz

In the past: The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, X-Men (comics), Hunter x Hunter

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to now. In the past, because I used to write without really being  "in" fandom or knowing anyone, I didn't realise people expected you to lol. I thought as a writer, you did your thing, someone commented if they thought it was at all worth saying anything about, and then you just went on your way like two ships passing in the night.

6. Angstiest ending?

Probably When Tomorrow Comes because the POV is tortured and beaten and dead by the end :)c I actually cried IRL when I wrote this one. Ahh, good memories! Out of my Oz fics… (squints) Dead Man Walking, maybe? Although I think it's open-ended, too, so maybe it's not that angsty. Maybe Terror Makes a Sour Meal, idk. OH. The Death of Jaime Velez. Doi.

7. Fic with the happiest ending?

You know, I write a lot of angst but there's also a ton of happy endings. I guess the happiest is probably the sweeter the sun (wedding fic) or for Oz?? It'll probably be Silver Moon's Sparkling, just because in my mind, it's basically a romcom.

8. Do you get hate?

Not on my fics (not enough readership + I am a perfect human being) but I've seen people vagueing me in fandom tags before for, idk, hyping up rarepairs and side characters too much (skill issue on their part frankly).

9. Do you write smut?

Yes :) I published my first attempt at smut (very vague frottage I think—idk, I refuse to reread it) June 2020, and have been incorrigible ever since.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not currently, but I've played around with them in the past! My first two fanfics ever were crossovers 💀Harry Potter x Twilight, I'm sad to say.

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Not technically, no, but I had some fics translated and posted to another site with no link back to AO3, which is not what I thought the person was going to do when they asked me. But… Oh well…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple! 6—that I know of—to Russian (TSOMD fics) and then one to Chinese (an HXH fic :))

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes… But I took myself off as an author so now it's just on their account 😂 It was from middle school and also a 4 fandom crossover event including Superwholock, soooooo…

14. All time favorite ship?

Whatever is my main hyperfixation tbh, so I'm going to say Miguel/Chico! I don't really have ults of anything in life (colors, movies, books), and that includes ships.

15. WiPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua, my zombie apocalypse fic based on the finale cliffhanger (why did they go so hard with it, knowing there'd be no s2???) 😔

16. Writing strengths?

Dialogue? I feel like I do a decent job/have been told I write banter and other verbal exchanges pretty well. Plot, I hope, is also becoming more of a strength, where before it was a weakness.

17. Writing weaknesses?

Description is something I'm always trying to improve—and using more *descriptive* words as well. I think I get stuck in using the same vocab over and over. Reading other works helps shake me out of that pattern a bit, but I haven't been much of a fic reader in past years (I keep stepping into small fandoms lol), and poetry can only take a guy so far… This year, I've been trying to get into audiobooks to help me listen to more sentences and learn from a wider range of examples 😂

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

My takes on this are kind of changing, but for the most part, if the characters are bilingual with part of it in English, I like making the effort of researching the non-English language and placing it in, with translations through hover text. For my TSOMD fics where the language is Chinese but my story is English, I write titles and words with no English equivalent in pinyin, i.e, du-gong, da-ren, zhihui-shi, etc, instead of blanket terming them all as Your Excellency, or whatever. 

I did try a different approach with Recognition of Another when there was English and Chinese being spoken. I didn’t want to write out everything as pinyin, so for the longer sentences, I wrote it in Chinese (which is obviously gibberish to non speakers/readers) and then wrote the English in italics next to it. Still not sure about that approach… I have an Oz wip as well where it made more sense to put all the “Spanish” in Italics since there was so much of it, but there was also English I wanted to differentiate. When there is a character in the scene who doesn’t speak Spanish, I then wrote the dialogue in Spanish like for most of my fics. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter :S

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I'm quite proud of several of the fics I've written recently for various reasons, technical and creative, buuuuut Knuckle Down at the moment, just because of how many times I've reread it myself 😂

[rottingbricks]

3000+ Word Rant On Why Boris and Theo Are Endgame and Had a Romantic Connection ✯

Forever and always will believe Theo and Boris are soulmates and they got married and lived their life together. (Maybe that's too much. Let me just explain why they have a very deep relationship)

Where do I start? So for one Boris was Theo's first kiss and sexual partner. They had a deep connection, felt safe with one another, and were practically inseparable. It's explained that Boris basically lived with Theo and was hardly ever at his own house. They also looked out for each other, Theo cleaned Boris' wounds after being beaten by his father and Boris comforted Theo on the loss of his mother —Here's a quote from the book; "And I suppose if either of us had lived in an even halfway normal household, with curfews and chores and adult supervision, we wouldn't have become quite so inseparable, so fast, but almost from that day we were together all the time.” (Tartt, chapter 5, section 12)

WHY THEO LIKES BORIS (YOUNGER) Everything is great between Theo and Boris but when Boris meets a girl: Kotku, it all goes to shit. But the way Theo responds to it is very telling. First off, Theo reflects on good moments with Boris after Boris got so wrapped up with Kotku; “I told myself I didn't miss him, but I did. I got stoned alone, watched Adult Access and the Playboy channel, read Grapes of Wrath and The House of the Seven Gables which seemed as if they had to be tied for the most boring book ever written, and what felt like thousands of hours—time enough to learn Danish or play the guitar if I've been trying—fooled around in the street with a fucked-up skateboard Boris and I had found in one of the foreclosed houses down the block. I went to swim-team parties with Hadley—no drinking parties with parents present—and on the weekends, attended parents-away parties of kids I barely knew, Xanax bars and Jagermeister shots, riding home on the hissing CAT bus at two a.m. so fucked up I had to hold the seat in the front of me to keep from falling out in the aisle. After school, if I was bored, it was easy enough to go hang out with one of the big lackadaisical stoner crowds who floated around between Del Taco and the kiddie arcades on the Strip. But I was still lonely. It was Boris I missed, the whole impulsive mess of him: gloomy, reckless, hot-tempered, appallingly thoughtless. Boris pale and pasty, with his shoplifted apples and his Russian language novels, gnawed-down fingernails and shoelaces dragging in the dust. Boris—budding alcoholic, fluent cursor in four languages—who snatched food from my plate when he felt like it and nodded off drunk on the floor, face red like he'd been slapped. Even when he took things without asking, as he all too frequently did—little things are always disappearing, DVDs and school supplies for my locker, more than once I'd caught him going through my pockets for money—his own possessions meant so little to him that somehow it wasn't stealing; whenever he came into cash himself, he split it with me down the middle and anything that belonged to him, he gave me gladly if I asked for it. (and sometimes when I didn't, as when Mr. Pavlovsky’s gold lighter, which I admired in passing, turned up in the outside pocket of my backpack)” (Tartt, chapter 6, section 4)

Theo took note that Boris was very physically touchy and that it made him a little bit nervous; “The funny thing: I’d worried if anything, that Boris was the one who was a little too affectionate, if affectionate is the right word. The first time he’d turned in bed and draped an arm over my waist, I lay there half-asleep for a moment, not knowing what to do: staring at my old socks on the floor, empty beer bottles, my paper-backed copy of The Red Badge of Courage. At last—embarrassed—I faked a yawn and tried to roll away, but instead, he sighed and pulled me closer, with a sleepy, snuggling motion. Ssh, Potter, he whispered, into the back of my neck. Is only me.” (Tartt, chapter 6, section 4) Then, Theo has a little gay panic — because of Boris being so affectionate; “It was weird. Was it weird? It was; and it wasnt. I’d fallen back to sleep shortly after, lulled by his bitter, beery unwashed smell and his breath easy in my ear. I was aware I couldn't explain it without making it sound like more than it was.” (Tartt) Near the end, Theo tries to play it off that what was happening between the two wasnt romantic, If Theo wasnt thinking of Boris in a romantic way why would he even be written to question or worry that they could come off in such a way? The fact Theo is worrying about it so much can only lead me to believe that Theo does think of Boris in a romantic light and is trying to deny it. Theo continues to explain ways Boris was affectionate towards him, further deepening the connection between the two of them; “On nights I woke strangled with fear there he was, catching me when I startled up terrified from the bed, pulling me back down in the covers beside him, muttering in nonsense Polish, his voice throaty and strange with sleep. We’d drowse off in each other's arms, listening to music from my Ipod.”

Then, the final nail in the coffin, Theo recalls the nights when he and Boris would partake in closer intimacy; “And yet (this was the murky part, this was what bothered me) there had also been other, way more confusing and fucked-up nights, grappling around half-dressed, weak light sliding in from the bathroom and everything haloed and unstable without my glasses: hands on each other, rough and fast, kicked-over beers foaming on the carpet—fun and not that big of a deal when it was actually happening, more than worth it for the sharp gasp when my eyes rolled back and I forgot about everything;” (Tartt) Afterwards, Theo mentions Boris and him never spoke of those nights, and that if people found out they were having sex they would; “think the wrong thing if they knew,”. However, Theo thought about those strange nights a lot and they clouded his mind at times, but, for Boris, it didn't seem like that. Theo notes Boris seemed unbothered by those nights; “But all the same he [Boris] seemed so completely untroubled by it that I was fairly sure it was just a laugh, nothing to take too seriously or get worked up about,” (Tartt) Since Theo uses multiple ways to get the ‘it's not a big deal’ point across. Saying it was a laugh, not serious, nothing to get worked up over, and uses all that when he's just going off of how Boris thinks and reacts to those nights. It can make the reader think that Theo, in contrast, does think of those nights in a serious, worked-up way. To further prove my point Theo was urged to discuss those nights with Boris, so he didn't ‘have the wrong idea’; “More than once, I had wondered if I should step up my nerve and say something: draw some sort of line, make things clear, just to make absolutely sure he didn't have the wrong idea.” (Tartt) Theo gets defensive over the thought of those nights, more importantly, the thought that Boris viewed those nights as something more, something romantic. This is even further pushing my earlier statement that a person who sees these moments as not romantic wouldn't be written to be worrying that it is romantic or that the other person sees it as romantic. So the fact Theo is worrying so greatly that these nights could even possibly be interpreted as romantic (especially when Boris isn't doing the same) can only have me further believing that it's because Theos is trying to deny or block out the actual romantic feelings he is having. Theo is so obsessive on this romantic or not topic that it comes off like Theo has a fear of becoming an orientation that he believes he isn't and that bleeds into internalized homophobia. Theo ends off this recall moment by stating; “I hated how much I missed him.” (Tartt)

There's another moment when Theo is thinking about how Boris is constantly around Kotku and hardly ever with Theo anymore. Theo tries to reassure himself; “But who cared what crappy girl Boris liked? Weren’t we still friends? Brothers practically?” (Tartt) Theo says he and Boris have a brother-like companionship, this, out of context is weird to use to prove my point that they are romantic. But considering all the context provided above this can once again be Theo trying to find an excuse to prove to himself that he and Boris aren't romantic. It's also obvious they aren't brotherly because the two are litterally having sex. In addition to this, right after that quote Theo admits; “Then again: there was not exactly a word for Boris and me.” (Tartt)

Finally, when Theo leaves Vegas he is rambling, trying to convince Boris to come with him, when; “I was still babbling when Boris said: “Potter.” Before I could answer him he put both hands on my face and kissed me on the mouth.” Shortly after. Once Theo is in the taxi he thinks to himself and admits to himself; “I'd stop myself from blurting the thing on the edge of my tongue, the thing I’d never said, even though it was something we both knew well enough without me saying it out loud to him in the street—which was, of course, I love you.” (Tartt, chapter 6, section 19)

WHY BORIS LIKES THEO (YOUNGER) All the content that is romantic between Theo and Boris is most of the time, if not always, initiated by Boris. Boris was the one who draped his arm around Theo, Boris was the one who pulled Theo closer when he rolled away, Boris was the one who cuddled Theo, Boris was the one who calmed Theo down from nightmares, Boris is the one who kissed Theo on the mouth while he had a girlfriend. Undoubtedly, all these things are romantic. Especially since these moments are told through Theo's perspective, who is interpreting these things as romantic, which rubs off on the reader.

When Theo is leaving Vegas and getting in the taxi, Boris hums the song "After Hours" by The Velvet Underground which is a band Theo and Boris listened to together. He hums a specific part of the song where the lyrics sing; "But if you close the door, I'd never have to see the day again" My interpretation of those lyrics in the scene’s context is: “But if you close the door�� = If Theo doesnt leave Vegas. Correspondingly, those lyrics about closing a door means closing the door is giving privacy and leaving the character alone with someone they love. Another thing to mention, before those lyrics take place these lyrics are in the song; "Oh, someday, I know someone will look into my eyes and say, 'Hello, you're my very special one'" All of this feels very intentional. When songs and SPECIFIC lyrics are mentioned in novels it's always to convey something and those lyrics are just very romantic and are also about whether the character is going to choose to be alone or be with someone. Considering the lyrics are hummed by Boris right when Theo is leaving him is very telling. It's also to convey that Boris is debating whether to leave with Theo or not.

Everything I just mentioned was the Vegas era when they were teenagers, I will now discuss when they are adults.

WHY THEO AND BORIS JUST MAKE SENSE (OLDER) Now that Theo has lived and been with more people than Boris I will break down Theo's love interests and explain why they aren't good for Theo and why Boris ends up being the best outcome.

KITSEY: Kitsey is Theo's fiance whom Theo cheating on while Kitsey is also cheating on him. Theo is having affairs and hookups with pretty much random women. Kitsey is having an affair with Tom Cable, an old fake friend of Theo's who was the reason why Theo and his mother were leaving the house the day of the bombing. Once Theo witnesses the two kissing in secret he confronts Kitsey, this ends with Kitsey gaslighting Theo to stay in the relationship for the happiness of Mrs. Barbour rather than themselves. Kitsey also admits their ‘love’ has always been head not heart, that they get along well but neither is in love with the other.

PIPPA: Pippa was another victim in the bombing in lost her uncle, this led to her and Theo crossing paths as young teenagers. Finding comfort within shared traumatic experiences. As they grow older Theo begins to romanticize her. Although it's not love, it's more of an obsession if anything. Theo obsesses and overly plans their meetups making sure they are perfect, Theo shows mild jealousy and irritation to Evveret: Pippa's boyfriend, Theo keeps a shirt of Pippa’s without her knowledge, and as creepily as it is..Theo has a lock of Pippa's hair that he took from a trashcan after Pippa cut her bangs in the bathroom. Theo eventually confesses his love for Pippa in a downtown restaurant after seeing a film. He tries to reason that Welty, Pippa's uncle who she lost in the bombing—put Theo exactly where he needed to be at the right time with WHO he needed to be with (aka Pippa and Hobie). Pippa eases Theo into rejection, however, she admits she has a thing for him as well. She begins to explain reasons why the two of them cannot be together: With their shared trauma..if one of them ‘fell’ the other would go right with them as there is no emotional stability between the two, one cannot be there for the other if they can't even support themselves. They are close enough to star-crossed lovers: lovers who are destined to not be together being pulled from one another by outside forces.

If Theo can't have Pippa and doesnt want Kitsey it's reasonable to conclude that Boris is a valid romantic option for Theo. When the two reunite Theo feels alive again after living a boring tucked-away life. He's laughing and enjoying every second with Boris.

BORIS: After years of separation and keeping a secret from Theo news reports come out about how The Goldfinch painting was not ruined in the bombing and is being used as collateral. Boris is under the impression Theo has already unwrapped The Goldfinch years ago and found out what Boris did. With the rise of these news reports guilt rises in Boris that he took the painting from Theo and ended up losing the painting. Boris has a hint that Theo would not want to see Boris ever again and even wants to act violently against Boris for taking the painting from Theo, however, Boris is aware that he must try to fix what he’s done. So, he goes to New York and goes to Hobie's old shop, seeking Theo. When Theo isn't there to be found Boris is sure he’ll never see Theo again, but they happen to run into each other later in the night outside a bar. They then spend the night till 4am talking and catching up. Theo admits in college he took a conversational Russian class because it made him think of Boris. Boris admits Theo was the only boy he's ever been in bed with—but brushes it off as they were desperate teenagers in need of girls..but that doesnt make sense as Boris has a girlfriend, Kyoto- and he was talking to girls before her too. He wasnt partaking in sex with Theo out of desperation for pleasure by any means. -- Boris then says he thinks that Theo thought their relationship back then was ‘something else’, after saying this Theo gets upset and begins to leave the table. Within this mix, Boris apologizes for what he did to Theo all those years ago and he deeply regrets it, Theo is confused about what he is speaking about and Boris is shocked that after all these years he’s never unwrapped the painting. Leaving Boris to admit what he did with the painting with picture proof. Boris wants to apologize to Theo and attempt to find the painting— for Theo.

In the hunt to regain the painting, Boris interrupts Theo and Kitsey's engagement party to take Theo onto a flight to Amsterdam. After some bickering..Theo agrees and says goodbye to Kisey and packs his bags with a nice suit and lots of money. — Boris arranges a meetup with the holders of the painting, but the sellers seem suspicious as they are missing one of their men and one of the men gets away after Boris and his crew pull guns on the men. — Boris and Theo successfully retrieve the painting, Boris taking note of how Theo has his bird once again — But when returning to the parking garage to leave the two men who were absent earlier and one new man arrive with guns pointed, two of these men are killed by Theo and Boris but one man gets away with the painting — The next few days Theo is sent into a deep depression in his hotel room….however this ends differently varying from book to movie. In the book, Theo is urged to turn himself in to the police for murder … In the movie, Theo goes through with a suicide attempt by overdose but is forced to throw up the drugs later by Boris. Both versions end with Boris interrupting, calming Theo down, and telling the good news that he tracked the painting down in a house holding many more missing paintings and he sent in an anonymous tip to the police on these paintings and their location. Boris splits the reward money between his crew, Theo, and himself.

Boris makes a good partner to Theo as they get along, have a close history, make each other feel alive, know the do's and dont's / in's and out's of each other, show each other unconditional care, left a big positive impact on each others lives, and both share a deep love for art and beauty.

[docholligay]

I didn't watch this show for a long time because I was so annoyed that they made Louis Black, and I also couldn't say that was why i refused to watch it, because I come off, saying that, like a fucking weirdo.

I am sure some of you in the audience are saying to yourselves, "Yeah Doc, it does kind of surprise me that you were apparently clamoring for Louis to be white. It seems more or less unlike you." Let me explain. Read to the end.

So, Interview With the Vampire is Anne Rice working through some shit, and it's also the only book of hers I would actually maybe argue is good. At the very least, I will argue that she is doing things within that novel, that she never does in any of her others, at least nothing I've ever read as a committed Vampire Chronicles reader.

Louis is her stand-in. Louis is Anne. And because Anne is the least hinged writer on the planet, Louis cannot do anything wrong, fucking ever. Nothing is ever Louis' fault, Louis' life is a tragedy, everyone feel bad for Louis Du Fucking Pointe Du Lac.

Obviously, I had no particular love lost for Louis. BUT, because she was a southerner writing in the 70s, of course Louis' tragic story is that he was a plantation owner, and she does a couple interesting things with that in the novel. You may recognize this as something that a modern audience will not accept. Instant villain. You could write damn near anything you wanted about Louis and he would still be a villain, as a slaveowner.

When I saw that they were going to change it so he was not a slaveowner, and not only that, he was Black, for me it was just another link in the chain of Rice's construction of Saint Louis Whomst We Must Never Accuse. Easily my least favorite part of the books, and she does put the screws to him a TINY bit in later books, but not really in a serious way, and she doesn't really want you interrogating the narrative that way either.

I didn't watch the show. I did not need more Blameless Louis in my life.

Fast forward to season two. Friend of mine watches the show, and given that we have a close enough relationship that I knew she would take the statement in good faith, I told her why I couldn't watch it.

"You should try it, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised" She said.

I WAS SO DELIGHTED TO BE PROVEN INCORRECT. IT DOES A VERY GOOD JOB.

Don't get me wrong, i think there is some very boring fandom stuff about "Who is the villain here" and if I were to say what my greatest frustration with the recent popularity of this is, it would easily be that there are a bunch of people who have never read the books, and so they don't realize that everyone in these books is terrible. Every time you think you've met the most fucked up, worst one, another, shittier one comes out of the shadows like the world's most fucked up Russian doll.

But the SHOW itself, very much lets you take the position that Louis sucks, actually, which ironically makes me more likely to give him some rope. If I am allowed to think he is annoying, and a hypocrite, I am more likely to enjoy him for the fun things about him, as well and even feel for him. I would have delved a little deeper into his being an asshole, and very selfish in a lot of ways, but I don't think the show does a poor job, I think I just have my preferences.

Love being proven wrong about something!

[morggard]

Ah,, thanks for the beautiful oc art! Don't know if it was asked before but I'll shoot my shot

Do you have any fav books or any other media that get you inspired to make art? If so, which authors do you prefer?

Also where can one read about your ocs? (Been obsessed with Derick he looks prettay)

Hello, thanks for the question!

I don't really read a lot, but I remember loving Russian and American classic literature, especially romantic/realistic novels about people surviving in hard living conditions lol; some of my favorite authors were Maxim Gorky, Andrey Platonov, Ivan Turgenev, Jack London and German Melville; I still think about all their books I've read million years ago a lot lol

But if we talk about what inspires me to create art, I'm mostly inspired by real life, including the reality of my own life; This whole topic of surviving in the wind and snows inspires me to create a lot, most likely because that's a part of my life as well, I'm worried about global warming destroying the cold snowy winter where I live cause I just love the winter and snow so much it's not normal ; From real life I also love taking inspo from political stuff, fashion and music, I think music is my biggest inspo actually.

And yeah sadly you can't read my oc lore anywhere cause I never cared enough to actually write it down somewhere, but I'll make some post soon I promise; I'll probably start with Derick himself since he has like the easiest lore ever lol

[bessmertny]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

thanks @margoblack :-) xx

i always feel i'll miss people out if I do these, so if I have i'm sorry! tagging mutuals most recently on my activity feed:

@rlkk22 @oldcoyote @beesarthur @tallisaire @thegranddewru @louisianna @springpcy @fairytalecritters @quentincoldwater @legallyblained @oruals @knightsofthegaytable @switchoffthestars xx

What's the origin of your username?: Surname of crusty old man, Koschei the Deathless from Russian folklore. I've only ever seen this surname used for him in the book Deathless by Cathrynne M Valente.

OTP(s) + ship name: I don't have one right now! Most recently it was illya and gaby from the man from uncle aka Gallya :-)

Favorite color: Blue!

Song stuck in your head: honestly it's Colours of the Wind from Pocahontas... i wish it was something that said more about me but.. well, I guess it does!

Weirdest habit/trait: Have to put my seatbelt on no matter what I'm doing with the car, even if I'm waiting, realigning my parking, or only parking around the corner.

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, sewing, writing, and right now i'm just getting into deliberate note-taking so I can maybe start writing essays :-) I'd put so many more but I have this aversion to claiming something is a hobby if I only do it rarely... but it is! They all are! For now I'll keep it all a mystery...

If you work, what's your profession?: I work for a non-profit designing resources, events, and activities for school careers programmes

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: Author or something very niche and outdoorsy, ecologist-style.

Something you're good at: Reading the room and looking out of the window (two separate, unrelated tasks).

Something you hate: AI :-)

Something you collect: Novelty face pots by Sylvac, and only when they're in the charity shop/happened upon! We have 3 so far, just the onion, the beetroot, and the apple sauce. We have a chutney pot with ears from price kensington... We abstain unless they are just absolutely nuts to look at - then they're a must.

Something you forget: My phone, all the time.

What's your love language?: "This reminded me of you!"

Favorite movie/show: TV: Loving watching Severance right now, but all time fave is Fargo (specifically season 1!).

Favorite food: Yoghurt and any fruit!!!!!!

Favorite animal: Dogs, wrens, capybaras

What were you like as a child?: Middle child and the only girl! Sensitive and sad, but loud and active, outdoors all day. Did NOT understand sports. Telling stories and regularly 'lying' about the magical things I was/did/had to fit the whim of the moment. Very creative and opinionated and I love her.

Favorite subject at school: English

Least favorite subject: Maths

What's your best character trait?: I can be gentle.

What's your worst character trait?: Desperately needing to be forgiven or understood no matter the cost (blabbing)

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: Mary Oliver

[transsexualgriffith]

Hey, I'm completely new to Dostoevsky's works and I'm looking for a great starting point. As someone who's deeply familiar with his writing, which books of his are ur faces?

Thanks in advance for ur answer!

oh hehe this is a good ask! I cannot aptly judge your taste in literature and recommend something based off of that as I usually would, but I'm going to try giving a generalized answer. I think that first and foremost you have two options, starting with a novel or a novella. many people are put off by the length of dostoevsky's novels and therefore find it hard to get into, which was not the case for me, having already read plenty of lengthy novels by other authors. if that is something you struggle with i would recommend starting with something shorter, like notes from the underground or something like the gambler; many people will also start with white nights, which is I'd say somewhat simpler in subject matter and thematics, and makes a good starting point with those who are put off by the more philosophical and political aspects of dostoevsky's writing, but as that is why I like dostoevsky so much white nights is one of my personal least favourites. I think notes from the underground serves well as an introduction to the themes and motifs recurring in dostoevskys writing, but to be fair it does lack the third person realism he is so famous for and the unreliable narration might make it harder to follow. I would let your personal tastes decide here. as a gogol fanatic I am also very found of the double, but due to its homage it is absurd in a way dostoevsky typically isn't.

if on the other hand you want to start with a novel, out of dostoevsky's big four, crime and punishment is the obvious choice. its arguably his most famous novel and the one I'd consider the most easy to follow. I also adore it (my very reasonable 12+ copies). if you're not familiar with ruslit it may help to learn about russian naming conventions beforehand, as I've heard many people find that difficult, and I will in all fairness say that the first chapter does drag as it mainly consists of a guy monologueing, but I promise if you pay attention it does lay thematical groundwork and helps you get used to dostoevsky's style of dialogue. I think if you dislike crime and punishment as a whole, dostoevsky is not for you. you might still enjoy other works of his more, but if you hate it I doubt you will ever grow to appreciate his style.

my other favourite is the idiot, which I might recommend if you like english literature, because it is sort of gossipy like that. I think it has an almost soap operatical element and then cleverly utilities that to make some profound observations about russian society. (my professor would argue that to understand dostoevskys portrayl of russian society one would have to read secondary lit to familiarize oneself with the politics and Ideologies of the russian empire in the first place.)

brothers karamazov is not a good beginner novel in my personal opinion, being one of the longest and really so profoundly dostoevskian that you probably should at least be acquainted with his style first. and demons, as much as i love it, has too complex a subject matter to be ones first, unless maybe you're already deep into existentialism as a whole. I find it is one of his darkest works and one of the most theologically advanced ones which is great for some people, but not the easiest to grapple with.

thank you for asking me, I do so love to talk abt this <3333333 I can say more on these individually if you need it

[igotanidea]

Scrooge : Jason Todd x reader

Christmas bingo day 16: Scrooge

"What are you reading?"

She had quite a day at work. End of the year were always full of dealing with overdue stuff once everyone figured how many thing should be finished before Christmas. And she couldn't really hide the annoyance at her coworkers trying to get her to do their jobs and the tiredness at all that.

But once she walked through the door and saw Jason on the bed, looking all relaxed, happy, healthy and not bleeding or injured all that was left miles away. It was strangely comforting knowing that he felt enough peace to just indulge in a book and let his guards down while being at her their apartment.

She kicked off her shoes, hung her coat and snuggled next to his warmth ready to be pampered, even if that only meant as little as some cuddles.

"Christmas classics. The Christmas carol" he murmured not tearing his gaze from the story, which didn't stop him from wrapping an arm around her running fingers through her hair.

"Once a Dickens fan, always a Dickens fan" she smiled enjoying his touch and the feeling she was at home whenever he was around. "At what point are you?"

"the ghost of future Christmas"

"so you're almost finishing. How could you read a whole book without me?!"

"not sorry princess. Had to think." He put the book down looking into her eyes with an expression that was a mix of love, vulnerability and something she couldn't quite decipher.

"hey." It was impossible to not get alarmed. Y/n knew Jason ling enough to catch up when something was wrong. And this was it. "Jason." In a blink of an eye she was in a cross legged position sitting next to him, entwining their fingers, squeezing them reassuringly "Jason, talk to me baby. What's going on in your head?"

Asking Jason Todd to share his feelings and emotions was a russian roulette. It could backfire, turn him into a frenzy and become the reason of his walls going up preventing her from ever climbing them and reaching out. It could make him break down, turn into a mess of unhealed trauma, reliving the past and swimming in the sea of regret and misery. Or- it could make him open up, even if only a little, and actually talk to her, which was the outcome she was hoping for.

And that was why she was caressing his palm in a soft, soothing motion doing her best to show him she was not going to hurt him, she loved him and it was okay to get emotional. Despite all that time they have been together, Jason still needed reassurance he was not a burden or a pathetic mess.

That he was human and it was the most human thing to need to be be loved and accepted.

"y/n..." He stuttered a little before lunging forward and encompassing her in the tightest, most loving hug ever. Almost crushing her in the process since sometimes he was unaware of his own strength.

"im here. I'm here it's okay, talk to me" she hugged him back, knowing he was deep in some memories and needed grounding. Clearly her soothing voice and gentle touch free of any fear or urgency worked miracles on him.

"when I died and was relieved -" he shuddered

"we don't have to talk about that baby-"

"please just listen to me" he pulled back looking straight into her eyes for a moment before getting scared of showing too much and lowered his gaze. "When I died and was relieved, i always felt lonely-"

"i know"

"no matter how many lifes I've saved, how many bloody dirty deeds I finalised for greater purpose, I never felt good."

"Jason -"

"please just listen to me" he pleaded with a teary voice. "I never stopped to think about what I was loosing and how estranged I was. Bruce-" Jason shook his head, the memory of what his adoptive father did to him "I was like a Scrooge."

" what do you mean?" She frowned in a bit of confusion, not seeing the parallel. "It's not like you were hating Christmas or anything..."

"not just Christmas. Life itself."

"what?!" She almost jumped at those words. Now that was new. He never told her that and it took a lot of strength to not freak out straight away. A lot, when her first instinct was to grab his shoulders and demand answers immediately.

So she took a deep breath calming herself and giving him the most peaceful and loving gaze she could produce given the circumstances.

"do you still?" She smiled lightly cupping his cheek begging for him to say no.

He shook his head.

"not since I got you in my life. You make me want to be better."

"as cliché as that sounds" she chuckled before stopping herself, wishing it won't deter him and make him shut her out again. Luckily he only smirked.

"as cliché as that sounds" he repeated stroking her hair "and even if its not working most of the times"

"im so glad you're aware of your shortcomings"

"its not like you're letting me forget sunshine."

"you can count on me in that matter babe" she tilted her head in a funny way "feeling better now?"

"you just make it so easy you know" he shifted position leaning on the headboard and pulling her close so that her head was laying on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. One of the most visible sign of trust and vulnerability, letting her so close to him "making everything better. Brighter. For years I was scared I would die alone with no one even noticing or caring, and then you showed up and turned it all around." His warm breath hit her face, his whispers ringing in her ear. "I love you. I don't ever want to loose you."

"And it was the story that made you realise it?" She chuckled kissing his shoulders in a loving gesture.

"not only. But it definitely helped" he grinned, running fingers up and down her side, punching her waist causing her to let out a gasp.

Thank you Charles Dickens!" her soft, happy laugh was quickly muffled as Jason pulled her towards a kiss that seemed to be neverending and drowned all his sorrows and worries about the potential future Christmases.

He was not going to get a visit of three ghosts.

He didn't need them.

Not as long as she was his Christmas miracle.