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captainsimagines · 3 years ago

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To Topple A Giant || Chapter Eight

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 8 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this Chapter: abusive parental relationship; extreme canon violence (gun violence, hand-to-hand, baton use, knives); strong language; mentions of drug smuggling, drugs, and human smuggling; mentions of blood and blood loss; major/minor character death (not the mains, don’t worry!); angst; gunshot wounds; heavy alcohol consumption

Word Count: 14,600+

A/N: Listen... you know damn well I had to put some American Pie lyrics in this. The reader’s and Jackeline’s relationship is not modeled after Nat and Yelena lol it was literally the biggest coincidence.

MedBay - The New Compound, 2024, 1:52 pm

“He did what?”

Bruce smiles sheepishly as he lugs Steve’s practically lifeless body onto one of those beige medical beds. Dr. Cho is pacing calmly around the room, getting her instruments cleaned and ready. She tries to ignore the way you’re crowding her, inspecting everything she touches and in turn is going to end up touching Steve.

“He took a bullet for someone.”

“And where is that someone?” you bite. You immediately want to apologize to Bruce for your tone but you’re distracted by the tiny groans of pain coming from the pale super soldier beside you. You have to look away to avoid whimpering yourself, but you can’t exactly make yourself deaf. “Don’t tell me he took a bullet for you.”

Bruce rolls his eyes and steps to the side as Dr. Cho begins cutting away Steve’s pants. “Everyone else is on vacation. He has no one here to take a bullet for besides. It was a shitty liquor store robbery and Steve was, of course, being a hero.”

“Where’s he hit?” you ask, heading over to grab a pair of gloves yourself. No one questions it.

“Femoral artery. Seems like he was plugging his own wound until he could get help.”

Dr. Cho is right. There’s a massive gash in his thigh that’s leaking excessively and the skin surrounding the wound is raised like Steve’s own fingers had plunged so deeply it left an imprint. Not only that, but his hand is covered in his blood. So is Bruce’s, you realize, because he had tried to plug the artery as well.

“How is he not dead yet?” Dr. Cho more mutters to herself than to you guys. Steve’s head is lolling to the side and his lips are an awful shade of white. His eyes are fluttering open and closed… open… closed… and he’s still mumbling random phrases. There’s a rough tug at the bottom of your stomach that pulls and pulls and there’s a weird urge to crawl onto the table to keep Steve warm.

“He needs blood,” you say, even though all parties in the room know that as fact.

Bruce, however, winces. “Sam’s not even in the state right now and I don’t think we have enough time to fly him-”

“Is he Sam’s blood type? What’s his blood type? Why can’t Bucky do it? Bucky’s in Brooklyn, he can be here in five minutes if he runs.”

Bruce starts rummaging through the upper level shelves and freezer cabinets. “Can’t mix the serums. We’ve tried.” He finally finds the blood bags, pulling them all out and spreading them across the clean tables. “It’s - shit - do we not have?”

Dr. Cho is now covered in blood, working as fast as she can to close the wound. “What’s his blood type?”

Bruce repeats it out loud and watches as Dr. Cho’s face falls. “I ran out yesterday. The blood drive isn’t until this weekend. I had a patient come in yesterday, I - I ran out yesterday.”

They seem to be having their own conversation with their eyes and are too focused on each other to see you already stripping your long-sleeve shirt and wrapping that horrible blue rubber band around your upper arm. “Me. Take mine.”

Bruce immediately shakes his head, stuttering as he tries to remove the rubber band. “Nu-uh, I don’t know if you know this but you’re human. I need two bags, three tops. I can’t just take it all from you right now!”

“Then get me some cookies and a juice box. I don’t care how much you have to take to make him speak a coherent sentence. Do me.”

Bruce hesitates but he rushes to the cabinets for the needles, vials, tubes, whatever - “No, do it direct.”

Your words startle the two doctors but they don’t question it. They hook you up and poke the needle in the first vein they find, attaching the tube instead of a single vial and direct it to Steve.

“You sure your blood matches?”

You give Bruce a pointed look as if that isn’t something written on your dog tags or on your weekly personal reports.

In the end, you’re told that you gave him the equivalent of two pints of blood. Not that you were awake for the second anyway but you vaguely remember Steve’s voice ringing in your ears. You’re not awake as he regains consciousness or to witness his very confused glare at seeing you in the bed next to him.

He swears he heard small mumblings… ‘If you die because of some highway robbery, Rogers --- I’m never gonna fucking stop bullying your grave --- haunt it’.... ‘Stay --- with me, please’.... ‘---supposed to apologize first’....

He tests the waters, mumbling a name he only says with annoyance nowadays. But now, it’s gently said. Soft, a whisper that sounds like a fractured hymn.

Present Day, 2025, 12:05 pm

There isn’t a set emotion in the world that seems appropriate. What are people supposed to feel when they’re singled out and chosen to suffer a life of pain? Self-hate? Pity for themselves? Anger? Sadness? Remorse? Nothing?

You really don’t know what you’re feeling. In the middle of rubbing vaseline on your newly acquired cuts and scrapes and bandaging yourself up, biting on a belt as Bucky set your shoulder back in place, and lying with Steve discussing everything and nothing all night after your promise - well, what the hell are you supposed to feel? As inevitable as it was considering he had ordered you shot before, the one feeling you know you feel is betrayed. Because even though Ernesto has proven himself evil time and time again, to his own flesh and blood, there was still a small part in your heart that didn’t think any parent truly wanted to inflict pain on their children. And your heart keeps proving itself wrong again and again.

“You just... jumped out of the car?”

Ramirez’s voice snaps you from your inner thoughts. He was let out of custody this morning. He’s currently filling in anyone who asks about the shipment, about Ernesto’s future plans, about the role he thought he had.

“Against my better judgment, but yeah.”

He chuckles and grins like he’s a kid hearing the best story ever told. “That’s what superheroes do. At least, what I’ve seen in the movies. John Wick, Bond, esos tipos.”

“I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, Omar,” there’s a teasing tone, “but I’m a fucking Avenger.”

That makes him laugh louder and in turn pulls one from you. “Ya se, ya se. I’ve known you since you were born. It’s weird hearing stories about you saving the world and jumping from bombed cars.”

“Mm, wait until you hear about that time I went into space and landed on another planet. Or time traveled. Take your pick.”

He’s stunned into silence and after a few more praises, he lets you return to typing out your report. There are plenty of other agents around for him to busy himself with. The base is tiny and not at all what you expected, but it’s secure enough to fit Torres, Sam, Bucky, and about fifteen other agents as they prepare for tonight. The plan you and Steve outlined was simple: attend the wedding, butter everyone up, send Steve away to help Ernesto retrieve and move the shipment, Scott and Sam will infiltrate, Bucky would be on standby to help you fight, and the rest of the team at base will begin arrests and sweeps. If everything goes according to plan, at least.

It’s easy to speak negatively about these things - there really were only two ways this could go.

You finish your report and go to stand, only realizing a minute later walking through the base that Ramirez is following you. You send him a funny look over your shoulder and he returns with a small smile of his own.

“Tengo preguntas!”

You stop and let him catch up. “Hmm?”

“Okay,” he starts, motioning his hands wordlessly until he could form them. “Are you and the Captain actually... juntos? Or just Avenger partners?”

“That’s personal, Omar,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “But I guess? That’s weird discussing with you.”

He nods in agreement. “It’s okay, I was just curious. So, him being mad was just an act? He doesn’t really hurt and threaten you, no?” He’s treading lightly, but you can already see the cartel mind turning. He would order Steve’s execution if he had to, even if he believed it to be morally wrong in some situations.

“Never. It was just an act for Ernesto.”

“Ah, Dios. Thank goodness.”

“Yeah, keep your men in line. It’s fine.”

He chuckles at that. “And the other Avengers?”

“They’re my family, Omar,” you grin wide, waking slower for the old man to keep up. “They would never hurt me.”

“That’s good, but not what I was asking.”

“Oh?”

“What are they like?”

Handing your report to one of the agents at a handful of monitors, you laugh loudly. “Do you want to meet them officially?”

“Aye, I know my daughters would like that...”

You raise an eyebrow.

“But I would like to meet them, too.”

“That’s what I thought. C’mon.”

The rest of the team are all relaxing and discussing the past days events in the lounge area, which is really just a glorified break room. Bucky’s still in his morning sweats same as Scott, Torres is already suited up, and both Sam and Steve are wearing their Avenger gear (minus Sam’s wings and Steve’s battered shield). Steve is the first one to notice you enter and he instantly gets up from his chair to greet you with a kiss on the cheek.

“Gross,” Bucky mumbles.

“You’ve been trying to get me a girl for over ninety years, Buck. And now that I’ve finally got someone who likes me back, you bully me for it?”

“Who’s bullin’? I said the same thing when Agent Carter smooched you in the weapon’s room and you thought you were alone.”

You pat Steve’s shoulder. “Think about it, Rogers. When Bucky settles down with someone, you have free reign.”

Steve pulls a thin smile and glances back at Bucky. “I’ll make them hate you.”

“Love and hate are the same thing, pal. It worked out for you two.”

“Okay, we’re done. Everyone, Omar wanted to formally introduce himself.”

Ramirez gives a shy wave. Torres returns it. It’s kind of hilarious to witness. Here you all are, Avengers and some standing over six feet with one of the most wanted drug lords in the world, and the all mighty drug lord is shy.

“I’m so sorry we got off on the wrong foot.” You notice how when Ramirez speaks to strangers or those he deems good people on his side, his accent is a little thicker. It’s like he wants to speak only in Spanish other than the Spanglish you were all accustomed to. “But it really is an honor to meet you all.”

Scott is the first to stand and shake his hand. “Sorry I pointed my gun at you, man. Habit.”

Ramirez chuckles, “Sorry I broke into your room.”

Steve interjects, “Thank you, though. For telling us what more we’re fighting for.”

Ramirez nods, a solemn look spreading over his face. “The minute I found out, I didn’t know who to tell. I’m lucky you were never truly on his side.”

“And what will you do after all this is over?” Bucky stands. “How do we know we can truly trust you?”

Ramirez sneaks a glance at you and you raise your hands. “Hey, I’ve got the same questions as him.”

Ramirez must know he isn’t getting out of this one because he answers quickly. “Drugs have a market where people choose. I just meet supply and demand protocols. I don’t do the unnecessary violence or blackmail. There is no need to. People will always want drugs.”

There’s a round of agreement throughout the small room. Ramirez continues, “But smuggling humans? There is no choice, nothing moral about it, it’s evil.”

“But people get addicted to drugs. They die from them everyday,” Sam argues.

“I produce and deal what you American’s call weed. Ernesto does the big stuff, as does White. I’m,” he laughs a little. “I’m their weed guy.”

“That is true,” you confirm. You’ve moved and packaged Ramirez’s product before. “Literally just weed.”

Everyone seems deep in thought, like their processing Ramirez’s words and the weight behind them. Ramirez ran with the big boys and was the biggest distributor of marijuana in Mexico and America alike, but he never messed with any other product. Besides producing, selling, and smuggling illegal weed, his only other crimes included conspiring with Ernesto on how to get the product over state lines.

“Okay,” Steve starts. “So how is tonight gonna work? We have to discuss that.”

Ramirez bows his head. “You’ve allowed me safety, you’ve listened to me speak, and you’re saving both my life and my daughter’s. If you must arrest me, then you arrest me.”

“The minute you’re transferred to a prison with less security, Ernesto’s men will get you,” you reason, already shaking your head no.

Ramirez gives a nonchalant shrug, “But you’ll get him and White. That’s all that matters.”

You look over to Steve for some other ideas, but like you he doesn’t have any. No one seems to have any.

Torres matches his shrug and his voice is small as he speaks, almost like his next idea is insane. “We can always put him in the Raft.”

Everyone’s eyes go wide.

“That’s where all the enhanced humans go, no?” Ramirez is stunned. “Do I count?”

“We’ve got no idea,” Steve rubs at his chin, looking at you for confirmation he knows you don’t have. “But it’s an idea.”

The plan is no longer singular. Fury had sent his best field agents for the job, the ones with the best aim, the ones with great strategic planning. Although you and Steve were still in charge, it was no longer just your mission. Your mission was to arrest the big three, big four when including Seda. That was it.

The plan goes like this: half the team will be focused on the venue itself, hidden in the shadows and monitoring the big three as well as your mics, and will aid you in the physical fight and arrests. Some are on the ground while others in the sky. Afterwards, they’ll sweep the estate and collect stolen property or priceless artworks. The other half is split into two, where one of those halves will be spread out for miles to capture anyone that might slip through, like guests who were on the most wanted list or guests that have helped Ernesto in the past. The other part of that half will intercept the shipment (once Steve radios in the location), save the hostages, and shut down the routes.

They instruct Ramirez to call Ernesto and to ask him if there’s a vegetarian menu offered. Ernesto responds with only a muttered groan and in a wild turn of events, asks if Ramirez can call you to make sure you arrive earlier than expected to make sure Jackeline walks down that aisle. He’s completely serious. Not only does Ramirez play along, but Ernesto doesn’t give any indication that he knows about the car bomb. So the team makes a judgement call: this was only Seda’s doing.

Ramirez is then told that the Raft is not an option; both the US and Mexican government want him and the only reason he hasn’t been arrested is because he still has many cards to play. The more he helps, the less time he’ll get.

One thing is known: this is the biggest mission anybody has been on in over two years.

Bucky remembers things in bits and pieces. Sometimes he’ll be minding his own business, enjoying this new world and the countless amenities it offers, and remember exactly where he was on the hottest day of the year in 1936. He remembers the blistering heat, boiling his once pale skin and giving him that beautiful olive he was now known for. He remembers the way his tongue dried almost instantly the moment he stepped outside and how he asked his next door neighbor, Ms. Kranshall, for a cup of water before work. He remembers her massive square glasses and how they nudged the tip of her nose as she nodded sweetly at him. He remembers her high but smoky voice and the way she patted his shoulder as he drank the cup down.

The first time he remembered Natalia was around the same time he remembered Steve. He sees a flash of ember in strands, speed almost matching his, and he sees those panicked green eyes he was once all too familiar with.

She was twelve when he first met her, forced to throw her around like a ragdoll until her ribs were bruised and her spirit broken. He went again and again, and when he wasn’t forced he would teach her how to fight properly and how to shield her most vulnerable areas. Scared as she was, she never showed it in those private moments, and decided to follow his lead in most things. And she learned to be fierce, no matter how hard he hit, and he still remembers the look in her eyes and the pull of her young face as they yanked him away for cryo before he could congratulate her on winning her first fight.

The first time he remembered you was when you leapt onto T’Challa’s back as the chase neared, tackling the young prince become king, and watched with sad eyes as both him and Steve climbed onto the jet for Siberia. He remembers your clumsy punches when you fought him with half his brain and how he kicked you so hard you flew. He also remembers how when you took that kick for Steve, the sound of his wail almost deafened the soldier.

Everytime he remembers something, a memory, no matter how strangled it may arise, the twinge in his chest is good. He’s remembering. He’s James Buchanan Barnes.

He feels that same twinge when a face full of freckles greets him at the entrance, documents raised above her head in a show of selfish glee, and a pep in her step that tells him she remembers him too.

“Sergeant Barnes!” Maribel gives a toothy grin. “Never thought I’d see you again!”

Bucky tilts his chin up and rests the tip of tongue between his incisors. “What? Hydra wasn’t enough for you, you gotta infiltrate the Mexican cartel, too?”

She scoffs playfully, “Other way ‘round.”

He snatches the documents from her hand and leads her inside. “I hope you got something here. Steve put a lotta faith in you.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Y/N does. That’s enough for me.”

Rolling her eyes, she snatches the documents back to turn the pages herself. “Follow me. We need to chat in private.”

“Shouldn’t we get-”

“I’d rather you know, and you tell them later. No audience.”

This causes Bucky to tense. He follows her in further and closes the door behind them both.

The left side of her face had less freckles back in 2012, he remembers, and now she’s covered in them.

Bucky remembers things slowly, but he remembers them.

It’s cold outside, air bruising your skin, and there are hundreds of goosebumps now erupting. You joke with yourself that in the end, you’ll most likely have to ask Steve for his jacket and ruin your overall look but hey, you’ll be warm. The wedding doesn’t start until five in the evening and it’s one’oclock right now, and there are white clouds in the sky instead of gray and the songs of some desperate birds searching for their lunch near your ears. It at least drowns out the constant noise of the agents hammering away at each other and preparing for tonight.

It makes your stomach roll: these agents are putting their lives at risk because of you.

You stepped through the discarded papers and tried not to leave your footprint anywhere important. His office was empty, left in a state of purgatory, and his lamp was still on. It’s like he stepped out for a minute.

You picked everything up: pens, computers, books, chairs. Under everything, there was dust.

He really did die.

As much as you wanted to step on his remains and spit on him, you couldn’t. The gash in your heart was still open and bleeding for everyone else and there was no room left for anger. You were indifferent, for lack of a better word. Frustrated?

A paper crumbles outside his office. No one had followed you in - a week after the snap and every single person on earth was still searching for loved ones or running from something - so no, no one else was supposed to be here. Mexico had been hit hard, it’s government shattered, and every cartel was picking up pieces or tearing the world further apart. There was no line anymore.

You twisted around and aimed your gun at the door, immediately lowering it when you saw Natasha raise her hands. She had this embarrassed smile on her face like she knew she had been caught.

“I meant to say hi over your mic. But you turned it off.”

You sighed deeply and dramatically shrugged your shoulders. “Well, I’m here. Guess who’s not.”

Natasha only nods and steps further into the room. She looks over the same things you did. “He’s gone? Good, good riddance.”

“But his death means nothing if trillions of others died also. It’s so fucking typical of him. If he’s going down, he takes everyone else with him.”

“He didn’t take them, Y/N.”

“I want to be happy,” you spit out through clenched teeth. “I want to feel relief. The fucking bastard is finally gone and I can’t even enjoy it properly.”

Natasha takes one more look at the hallway before letting her guard down almost completely. She envelopes you in a hug, squeezing tighter each time your breath hitches. “Hey, listen to me.”

“He’s gone.”

“I know,” Natasha’s voice is low and reminds you of the gentle hum of record static. “He’s gone and he can’t hurt you anymore.”

“But everyone-”

“No,” she pulls away and places both her palms over your neck. “He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

It takes a while before you’re nodding along, repeating her words gently.

“You’re more than the pain he inflicted. You’re more than his name or crimes. You’re worth more than his impact ten times over. He can’t hurt you anymore. I know everyone’s gone, and we’re going to fight like hell to bring them back, but in this little moment, this little thread you can pull - pull it all out - he can’t hurt you anymore.”

She’s all muscle and bone and blood and real. What would you do without Natasha?

The grass beneath your bare feet calms you down. It’s tendrils are a little ticklish and there are droplets of silver morning water fog melting as they touch your skin. Focusing on the feeling isn’t enough to get you out of your own head and for a wild second, you think the God of Thunder is going to come up behind you and hold your hand. It’s peaceful out here, but what you wouldn’t give to see him again.

The day before Steve and Carol returned the stones, he had been here. He did as he promised: the second the flood of happiness extinguished like a Christmas candle, he found you settled in the mass of pillows with only instrumental music playing. He left for two cups of tea, sat in silence with you as you both drank, and whispered a strangled ‘I’m sorry’ as if you weren’t meant to hear it. Apologizing for someone who did come back, and you for someone who didn’t.

‘You know I don’t regret what we did. We brought everyone back.’

‘Don’t try and justify your sadness. Not at all, not with me.’ His voice was stern and his eyes serious.

‘I’m sorry he didn’t come back.’

His eyes had closed, as if he was expecting that apology, and he looked out the window where the sun was just barely rising, shining on him and him alone. ‘I’m sorry, too.’

There are footsteps, though. Heavy ones, footsteps that announce his upcoming presence on purpose so as to not startle anymore. Bucky was too generous for his own good.

“Had a visitor.”

You remain silent as Bucky sits next to you, looking up from his spot and expecting you to sit as well. “There’s water on the grass.”

“There’s water in the air in this godforsaken state, now sit down.” A push of laughter escapes your lungs but you follow his instructions anyway.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, admiring the way the pine trees bend slightly with the gusts of wind and how the birds have changed their pitch. You expect Bucky to speak first so you occupy that time by playing with the strands of wet grass.

“In 1997, I was taken out of cryo for a mission.”

You wince on accident. This wasn’t how you expected the conversation to start.

Bucky continues, “There was this man south of the border.” He points south to prove his point. “Hydra wanted to take him out because he was interfering with the drug routes they were monitoring.”

“Hydra controlled drug routes?”

“Hydra had their heads in plenty of places. They didn’t control them, but they did monitor them.”

You shake your head in understanding. “And this man?”

Bucky sighs heavily. His eyes are focused on the gentle yellows behind the trees instead of you. “He was told to take out another man traveling through and out one of these drug routes. He made a different call.”

“Who was your visitor?”

“Maribel.”

“Wha-?” You go to stand but Bucky gently pushes your left shoulder back down. “Why are you telling me this and not her?”

“She wanted me to tell you. And I guess, in turn, you tell Steve and the rest of the team.”

“Bucky,” your voice trembles on accident. “Tell me.”

“The man I was ordered to take out was Maribel’s brother.” He chuckles at your frantic shuffling and pushes you down again. He continues, “Hey, it’s okay. She never knew him and she doesn’t hate me for what I was.”

You don’t really believe him. But his face isn’t telling you otherwise. You're stuck between wanting to dig for more information and giving him a giant bear hug. “Did you… succeed?”

“The soldier ever rarely lost.”

Your face contorts. “Bucky…”

“He disobeyed orders, Hydra didn’t like that since it disrupted the drug routes, and so I was sent to help. Hydra didn’t seem to care about the man he let go, though.” Bucky shrugs and starts playing with the grass behind your hand. “The thing was, Maribel’s brother had been doing this a long time. Ernesto was on Hydra’s radar but in a good way. Maribel’s brother was also given very specific orders from one other person - their mother.”

The story pieces are all discarded haphazardly, pieces that are from different boxes and don’t seem to entangle properly.

“She told him to let the man go. Because this man was an American, and killing an American on Mexican soil was something that was impossible to hide from the claws of the law. So, this American made it back on US soil safely and was never heard from again. Until 1998, when he tried to re-enter Mexico under a false name but with one purpose. To see his newborn baby girl.”

The yellow behind the pine trees fades into orange.

“Are you saying-?”

“Maribel’s mother kept everything your mother left her when she tried to cross the border herself. Your real birth certificate, her real birth certificate, you.”

Bucky looks over finally, sad smile and all. “Maribel thinks, and now I think, that Ernesto isn’t your real father.”

There are so many questions formulating at the base of your skull that you don’t really take the time to absorb the news. “What did she bring you? What was in those papers?”

Bucky seems startled that your reaction wasn’t one of shock. “Like I said, Maribel’s mother kept a lotta things.” He pauses momentarily before speaking again. “Blood results was one of them. Still trying to authenticate them. The American was a doctor, after all.”

“A doctor,” you whisper.

“A doctor. He changed his name but he’s alive. Maribel’s checked.”

“Why would she tell me this now? Why now just hours before the wedding? Isn’t that why you guys didn’t tell me about what was really in the shipment?”

Bucky winces and his expression tells you he’s sorry.

You continue, “Why now? Why does it even matter anymore?”

He inspects you quickly, scanning your features for any signs of discomfort. “You’re okay? I thought this would surprise you more.”

The chuckle you release is dry, kind of harsh. “It actually answers a fuckload of questions. Like, number one, why he fucking hates me.”

His eyebrows scrunch together. “You think he knows?”

“If he doesn’t, then he’s a super fucking asshole instead of just a fucking asshole.”

Bucky pauses again and smiles up at the sky. The clouds are white and extra large today, and he suddenly remembers the taste of that mini popcorn he had bought and shared with his little sister Becca… Becks… while watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarves at the theater. The salt and butter had stuck to Becca’s fingers and she had wiped them on Bucky’s sweater. He remembers scolding her for that but giving her a napkin in between his giggle fit. He feels the same swell in the meat of his heart listening to you. “We don’t deserve you. You’re like the moon. Always there, shaping yourself into what that person needs, crater after crater beat into you and yet, you move the tides.”

The little snort that leaves your nose hurts a little. “That’s pretty damn poetic for this moment of ‘you’re not the father!’”

Bucky bites his lip and smiles toward the yellow and orange hues. “Like the moon.”

The hotel had replaced the door, no questions asked. The reason Sam decided to bust open the door instead of using the very functional key you had given Torres? No one knows. But the poor receptionist was told that you couldn’t possibly change rooms because this was top secret business and you absolutely wanted to slap Scott upside the head for worrying her. So they fixed the bolts and gave you all new keys.

Didn’t matter much anyway since you weren’t sleeping here tonight. You had already packed and made the beds.

You lay your dress and Steve’s dress attire on the respective beds. The dress sent over was a backless red silk, spaghetti strapped and slit on the left side - you’ve wanted to wear it since it arrived when Scott did.

Steve knocked before entering the room. You almost laughed at the gentlemanly aspect of it. “Thought for sure they’d have kept you for another hour at least.”

“I gotta change sometime. That your dress?” Steve shrugs off his uniform and climbs on top of his freshly made bed.

“That’s my dress. Sort of skimpy for a wedding, no?” You hold it up to show him the front and back.

“Does ‘skimpy’ mean bad?”

“Means slutty.”

He gives you this disappointed look, like he’s judging your vocabulary. “I wouldn’t use that word. So no.”

You silently apologize and move the dress over to the end of your bed. Everyone else was also getting ready for tonight. Agents were posing as local police, many infiltrated the wait staff, suits were being double-checked for any malfunctions. There was so much going on, but all was relaxed in your room. Steve smiles at you from his bed, head resting in his palm as he leans up to stare at you. It’s impossible not to blush under his stare, so you move to climb into his bed. You lay down with your feet to his head, the sides of your hips pressing together; just two upside down puzzle pieces. He chuckles and goes to lay on his back, right arm coming up to lay rested on top of your right thigh.

“All this week I thought I wasn’t ready.” You’ve had no more nightmares. “But I am. I’m ready to end this.”

He runs his fingers delicately along your thigh. “I’m ready to help.” He sighs deeply and cranes his neck to try and meet your gaze. “We’ll make sure they get maximum time.”

“You know that’s not our call.”

“Still.”

You rest for another few minutes, gentle touches calming you. His body is so warm, emitting sweet thoughts like the beginning of spring heat, and it’s impossible not to curl up into it. Steve breaks the comfortable silence, “What are you thinking about?”

You suck in a breath and tell him the truth. “That in the matter of like… five days, you and I are basically lovers now.”

“Lovers?”

“Lovers.”

He laughs out loud and goes to sit up. “I intend on taking you out when we get back home.”

Lifting your head, you rest on your elbows and grin at him. “Oh? And where are you planning on taking me?”

He thinks for a second before pressing his lips together and giving up. “I have to ask Peter or Wanda. I have no idea where you go during the day to eat.”

You laugh, “Seriously? I could’ve sworn you tagged along once or twice.”

“Nope. I always refused.”

You frown slightly, “Riiight.” Not wanting to rehash the reasons why, you try to soften any wrong feelings about what that implies. “I’m sure you’ve been, though. I take Bucky places, too. Ask him.”

“Mmm, I have my pride. Can’t have Bucky thinkin’ he knows more about my girl than I do.”

You smile largely now and hope no lipstick rubbed off on your teeth. “Your girl?”

Steve averts his eyes like he’s just now asking for your name and if you’d like to go dancing. There’s a beautiful scarlet glow painting his pale cheeks. “Like I said, I’m taking you out and asking properly.”

“We’ve already surpassed third base. I remember it vividly.”

His smile falls comically and he turns to grab a throw pillow to smack you with it a couple times. “Crude! Crude as always. Goddamn.”

“I’m sorry! Hey, I’m sorry!”

He stops his attack and pulls you into his chest. He warms your back instantly. “So, you’ll let me take you out?”

“I really, really like french fries,” you hum lightly and tilt your head back to lean into his shoulder.

“That narrows it down, thanks.”

You chuckle due to his sarcastic tone. He rubs his hands up and down your arms. An idea formulates while in the warmth of his body. “You know what I really want to do after we finish with this?”

“What’s that?”

You tell him honestly. “Rent a cabin. Spend a Christmas there, maybe. Catch some fuckin’ fish. Experience the snow properly.”

His eyebrows furrow like he’s dissecting such a claim. “I… wasn’t expecting that.”

You shrug, “Sounds cool though, right?”

“Got room for one more?” He looks down to meet your gaze and there’s a glint of hope shimmering in the blue of his eyes.

“Nat… Natasha.”

Natasha took in a sharp exhale as she lifted her head from the desk, left cheek numb and pink. Steve shot her a funny grin and continued shaking her shoulder until she fully opened her eyes. She slaps his hand away with a huff of laughter.

“Come here to do your laundry? You know, there’s only so many times I can help prevent shrinking shirts.”

Steve scoffs, “I used to do laundry by hand. I can figure out a few buttons.”

“You would think.”

Steve rolls his eyes and bumps her shoulder with the palm of hand before speed-walking into the kitchen. “It’s one of those days.” He opens the high cabinets and pulls a few vodka bottles.

Natasha pushes down whatever was starting to eat at her. She calms her deep breaths and rises from her chair. No words needed to be exchanged. She makes her way over to pull two glasses from the same high cabinets.

Steve watches her a little hesitantly, but she has that lopsided smile that pinches through only one cheek and her eyes are the slightest bit swollen from her power nap, and Steve breathes a sigh of relief. She tilts her head to the other side of the kitchen, that lopsided grin gracing her bare feet. Steve fumbles through a few cleaning supplies and some plastic bags before he finds the bottle.

“I hid it after… after Thor had that meltdown a year ago.”

Now, he was second guessing. It was a small bottle, only half left, but half a bottle of Asgardian liquor was enough to knock the God on his knees. For Steve, a few sips would do the same. But he needed it, he needed it, god help him. It’s been four years, he needs it. “Be my designated driver?”

“How about you spend the night? Y/N wanted to start a new show anyway.”

“I’ll be passed the fuck out during the opening credits.”

“But you’ll be here.”

Steve sighs and pops open the bottle. Natasha puts her hand up to stop him from pouring, “Check under that sink again.”

His eyebrows pinch together but he does as instructed. More cleaning products… more cleaning products. He tilts his head to look at the corners and there it was: a small, pink paper airplane taped mid-flight. Steve hunched his shoulders to grab it and crawled out carefully. “You know, you’re not supposed to tell me where you hide them.”

“Well, I felt bad! I’ve found like fifteen of your blue ones and how many do you have of mine?”

“That’s besides the point-”

“Say it. You’ve found six.”

His cheeks turn hot. “I’m not here all the time.”

“Excuses.”

“I leave mine in good spots. You probably got better eyes or something.”

Natasha laughs, loud and from her chest. “Sure. But hey - I’ll promise you somethin’.”

Steve pours the Asgardian liquor into his glass and straight vodka into Natasha’s. “What do you have in mind?”

“You find more than me by the end of this year, and I’ll take that vacation.”

Steve takes his first sip and tries not to pull a hard face. “You’re on. But what if you win?”

Natasha raises her glass and clinks it with his. He wants to apologize for forgetting to toast but her eyes are playful and forgiving. “You come with me. I’m not the only one who needs it.”

“So, I win regardless?”

She takes a sip and pulls a funny face. “Easiest battle, don’t ya think?”

They’re off their right minds twenty minutes into drinking and the common area is chaos. Pillows are thrown, the TV somehow ends up with dozens of fingerprints, and they’ve broken a couple flower pots. The cushions of the couch know Natasha’s bare feet and Steve’s boots; the walls fail to constrict their loud singing; Rhodey has already snuck past them to get himself a snack undetected.

‘And so I cry sometimes when I’m lyin’ in bed, just to get it all out what’s in my head!’

‘Hit the high note, Rogers!’

‘When you do, I will!... I scream from the top of my lungs-’

‘What’s goin’ on? And I say, ‘hey!’ ‘hey!’ I say ‘hey!’ What’s goin’ on?’

Steve’s still clear-headed enough to twirl Natasha around. She’s flexible enough to climb onto his shoulders.

‘I pray every single day - for a revolution!’

She’s starting to slur her words and Steve wonders if that blond streak in her hair was there last week.

‘The story of my life! I take her home,

I drive all night to keep her warm and time,

Is frozen!

The story of my life, I give her hope,

I spend her love until she’s broke inside!

The story of my life.’

She can longer feel her toes but seeing Steve let go makes her so incredibly happy and breaks her heart. I needed this too, she thinks.

‘So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry

And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye

Singin', "This'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die!”’

She’s all muscle and bone and blood and real. What would Steve do without Natasha?

“You wanna come?”

“Sure. I’ll cut down the trees for wood. Have a real fireplace.” He’s serious, you realize. Like, really truly serious.

Your heart swells with excitement and some other feeling you can’t quite place. But it’s good, like really good. The sigh you release is full of sweet wonder. “A real Christmas tree.”

Steve tightens his grip around your arms. “December’s right around the corner. Trees should be ready and standing tall.”

It’s almost too much to imagine. You have the sudden urge to talk specifics, to plan out this vacation. A beautiful, rustic cabin with only a coffee maker brought from the outside century, knitted quilts, real snow, Steve’s body heat, Christmas lights… inviting Sam, Scott, Wanda, Peter, and Bucky down for Christmas dinner and presents. A whole sleepover filled with ghost stories, candle burning, board games, Christmas movies. You’re up and tucking your knees under yourself to look down at Steve in an instant. “You’d throw on that checkered shirt, grow out your beard even more, and chop down a few trees for me? With me?”

“There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be,” Steve says, eyes crinkling. For a second, he’s worried you’ll realize that he’s quoted your letter. But that same moment, you’re giggling with excitement over your future plans.

“Well, we lasted a week here without killing each other. The holidays always hold a few surprises.”

Steve picks up another pillow.

Business is not conducted during the church service. It feels normal, with half the guests attending the service and watching the happy couple exchange vows, while the other half only arrives for the party.

Jackeline’s dress is modern with a mix of vintage - simple, with long sleeves of lace and fabric that isn’t entirely white but with hints of beige; the dress dips lower in the back than it does in the front, and it’s tight near the waist but loose as it drapes down her long legs. Her hair is left loose and her make-up is heavy, and she illuminates under the sun rays that burst through stained cathedral glass. You don’t even pay mind to Ernesto and Seda seated in the aisle in front of you - not when Jackeline looks the way she does.

As the service ends, Steve tells you to wait until most of the guests exit. The priest eyes him warily, inspecting his young face and build and obvious persona. He says nothing, but he places a gentle hand over the cross on his chest as he follows the guests out. Steve stands, and out of respect dips his fingers into the holy water provided near the heavy wooden doors. He signs the father, the son, and the holy ghost and dips his fingers in again to sign the same on you. With a silent thank you and tender wipe to your forehead, you don’t question it. He’s not Catholic, or at least you don’t think, but you know he does it for what’s to come. No matter your beliefs, he just wants something, someone, to protect you. You turn back to the cathedral and grip the door as you bend down to one knee and tip your head.

Everything is grander, that’s for sure. The decorations are tripled; the violet lights are reflecting like diamonds off every marble and glass surface; the chandelier’s are no longer gold sculptures but diamond; the clay flowers hanging from the ceiling yesterday are now a part of the centerpieces, squeezed in with the largest bouquet of roses and violets; the live bands (because of course there are two) are each still setting up as everyone is getting seated; and there are about fifty round tables circling the large dance floor. There’s still a nice view of the lake and the pine trees ahead, and the tarp was abandoned as there was no rain in the forecast. All in all, and there were a thousand other things you could focus on but didn’t have the energy to, everything was beautifully put together.

Jackeline wasn’t lying when she said half of Mexico was attending. Besides family, there were celebrities in attendance, famous musicians who were simply guests and not performing, family of some of the other biggest drug lords from both countries (minus Europe), and a couple politicians who dipped before the new couple even walked through the doors after seeing Steve. But Steve worked his magic like he had yesterday and had everyone eating out of the palm of hand in pure amazement. He even had a famous actress hanging off his shoulder in under three minutes. Walking away to go congratulate Jackeline, Steve doesn’t miss the quick, sarcastic flick of your middle finger aimed in his direction.

“You’d tell me if you needed my help, right?” Jackeline asks after a while, bottom lip dripping champagne. She wipes it gingerly, careful not to smudge her pink lipstick.

“I would if there was anything wrong,” you respond truthfully. She pauses to swallow her sip and squints. She follows your gaze to Steve, whose right arm is being tugged by a girl who looks about twelve with five multi-colored bows trailing down her french braid, and who is also trying hard not to blush at the very attractive actress he can’t seem to get rid of.

“You’re going to stop him, aren’t you?”

You glance to your left, but it isn’t really a question. Jackeline knows. “Yeah.”

She nods and tilts her chin up, eyes still on Steve. “Make him watch as you burn it down.” You know she’s referring to Ernesto. She continues, “Every last bit of it.”

Smiling down at your feet, you raise your glass at nothing in particular. Just to salute the night air and whoever is watching. A few seconds pass as you both watch the guests enjoy the music and appetizers. Jackeline shuffles in her heels but she doesn’t seem to want to leave your side just yet. “You run, you understand?”

She’s only momentarily startled by your words. “Okay.”

“I never meant to leave you here, Jackie. I just had to find a way out first.”

“You found a loophole,” she chuckles, but the next moment she’s serious. “There is no way out.”

“Might not be,” you admit, downing your glass in one shot. “But I know this. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

You don’t exchange more than a few words with Steve before he’s called by Ernesto’s men and motioned toward those massive dry lava rock doors; doors that don’t muffle sound but are strong enough to withstand a bullet wound. You watch him leave with them, and he shoots you a smile over his shoulder to simply look at you. Your eyes swell only slightly, burning the corners and blurring everything. He’s bright and brilliant, walking head first into Hell and shining like the bolts of Zeus.

Steve has faced giants before, from all backgrounds and all worlds. He has blocked their punches, taken near mortal injuries; stared them in the face with every ounce of anger and determination his cells could produce. There was always this whispered voice in his head that warned him of the last day he would pick up that shield. In 1945, the voice was loud and raging as he drove that nosediving plane into the Arctic. Over the last few years, however, the voice had quieted and let Steve ponder his fate himself. Steve swears the voice, or rather his own conscience, is getting tired.

He listens intently, responding only when spoken to, and prays his mic is picking up every bit of this conversation. Ernesto commanded the room as he screamed orders in both English and Spanish. His men fell in line; some as determined as the old man, some quiet, some bothered. Didn’t matter what the orders were. Steve noticed the few who would glance at one another and speak their distaste with their wandering eyes. And when Ernesto would speak directly to Steve, the same men would pinch their lips into a thin line and glare.

The shipment had arrived mid-conversation and as men were sent out to do their jobs, Ernesto kept Steve behind. I need you to stay with me until the shipment is secure and can be moved - you’re my bodyguard, Ernesto had told him, confident and only slightly bending his back in discomfort from the weight of the day. Steve agrees, and hears Bucky mention how they have eyes on the shipment from the sky.

Steve stays by Ernesto’s side even when Ramirez is called in. He’s prepared for a bloodbath, for two big men to cement their graves in this tiny office, but it doesn’t happen. Or at least, it doesn’t happen yet. Ernesto regards Ramirez as an old friend and finally trusts him enough to tell him what the shipment contained. Steve isn’t surprised, however, when Ernesto takes nasty satisfaction at Ramirez’s horrified expression. Because even though Ramirez had already known, the confirmation adds a multitude of terror. Steve can feel his palms sweating.

As expected, Ernesto tells Ramirez that he plans to use his lands for his gain. The safe thing to do would have been to agree, to nod along, and to live in the knowledge that the shipment most likely wouldn’t head out. But Ramirez, for some reason Steve can’t fathom, stands up and says no.

Steve understands now; the odd shaking of your shoulders even when your face was completely blank and emotions calm. He watches the beads of sweat drip from Ernesto’s forehead onto the tip of his nose; he watches the way his chest heaves as his voice becomes louder; he watches until he can’t take anymore and he enlarges the shield with Scott’s tech and tells Ernesto to move away from the other man. Steve understands now - the man really is scary, even if he wants to admit it or not.

“You really are a phenomenal actor.”

Swaying slowly, you try not to step on Seda’s feet as he guides you across the dance floor. The music is calmer than it was five minutes ago, the guests are enjoying dinner and conversing, and Steve had told you fifteen minutes ago that he would be right back. Ernesto had sent you a malicious wink, but you knew better. Steve’s name was written in blue and Ernesto’s real target had to be you.

“Acting with what? Acting that I enjoy this dance? Acting like I respect you?” Your upper lip twitches into a teasing smile. “Or acting like I don’t know it was you who planted that bomb?”

He matches your smile, looking down at you with a glint in his eyes. His grip around your waist tightens. “Acting like you’re really on our side.”

Lowering your voice just a fraction, you lean in, top of your head level with his chin. “I’m on Ernesto’s side. You almost had me and my Captain blown up.”

His left hand is settled on your shoulder and he uses the opportunity to dig his nails in. All around him, his men are watching. “How did you get away?”

You give a dry laugh. “You think that was my first bomb? It was childsplay.”

Seda scoffs, “You speak of this Avenger business like I don’t know who you are. You’re still that scared little girl who hid in her room when alien’s fell from the sky.”

“I may be. But there’s a difference between you and I. I actually stared them in this face and won.”

“The second time, maybe”

Sticks and stones, but goddamn did those words always hurt. Blame goes a long way but you and your team are used to keeping it close to home. “Why do you want me dead?”

His scowl deepens and the wrinkles by his eyes crinkle over each other as he squints down at you. “The Avengers are not secretly on our side. Tony Stark never was but Ernesto loves to tell people otherwise. Same about your Captain. You’ve been playing us for years.”

“What evidence do you even have? For years, we’ve done nothing but clear the roads for you,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

He unwraps his arm from around your waist and sets both hands around your upper arms. He’s pressing down as hard as he can but still loose enough not to draw unwanted attention. He breathes a sharp exhale, and the puff of air hits your cheeks. “I don’t know what happened to my men after you got what you deserved. They were good men and just like that, erased.” He smirks. “I know you had something to do with it.”

A guest with bright red hair laughs loudly to your side as she is twirled around by her partner. It’s not as vibrant as you’re used to, but you still imagine that lopsided smile you hadn’t seen in forever. “Does it matter? You know what they did, so why is my hypothetical revenge chastised?”

“Tell me right now that none of your Avenger friends did your dirty work. Tell me your Captain’s hands are clean.”

“I promise you, my Captain is clean.” Seda doesn’t show any signs of believing you. Still, your mouth twitches into a mocking smirk. “But our once mutual friends Tony and Natalia tell another story.”

“Am I supposed to believe that two people who are dead are responsible for this? Ironic,” he grits his teeth.

You repeat, clear and true. “My Captain is clean.”

He fakes a tiny gag but you know he means his disgust. “You turned over so quickly for him. For the heroes who destroyed the world. Pathetic.”

“You really need to stop underestimating me,” you practically order, voice full of warning and annoyance.

Seda continues, “Following orders from a fascist. Following orders from a country that only does harm.”

He turns you around as the dance instructs, a half-hearted waltz that didn’t have a beginning, middle, or end. You take that second to scan your surroundings and weigh your options. “I agree about the country part. But I don’t follow orders from the country, I follow them from my Captain.”

You’re facing him again and in those hellish eyes you see truth. “No, he’s a symbol of everything we hate. Of everything we need to destroy.”

“Touch Steve and I’ll blind you.”

His feet stop mid-step, as do yours. His eyes widen only a little, but it’s all the ammunition he needs. “I knew it.”

It’s barely a whisper, a tickle from a single strand of hair, but you catch it. No longer keeping it a secret, or rather a secret you didn’t care that you let slip, Seda now knows it was all a lie. All this time you had never referred to Steve as anything other than your Captain.

You feel the blunt head of a .22 press against your abdomen as Seda laughs, “You never could get a mission right.”

Twisting his arm and knocking the gun from his loose grip with your wrist was easy. So was catching the gun mid-air and elbowing him in the ribs. Seda falls to the floor in a state of shock, instinctively gripping his chest. You aim the gun at him and like you’ve seen in the movies, place the tip of your heel just below where his belly button would be. He releases a sharp breath and his eyes are challenging, practically begging you to dig deeper and get on with it.

You can hear the screaming and frantic murmuring from the guests surrounding you and the leveling of guns from Seda’s men. But you’re focused on the man trying so hard not to quiver beneath you, his nasty grin spreading wider.

“You’re alone,” he bites. “Your Steve is helping Ernesto right now, no? You’re alone.”

Your grin forms slowly, and you’re counting down the seconds you have until his men start firing, but you lean your upper body down slightly to make sure he hears you. “That’s never been a problem before. Don’t you remember?” You click back the safety as discreetly as possible. “I was trained by the Black Widow herself.”

You quickly raise the gun to shoot the closest of Seda’s men in between his collarbones, effectively starting the bloodshed. You jump out the way in a flash, rolling across the floor and behind a table. Tipping the table over is easy and it seems like a smart idea at first, until you realize the tables are all glass. The tablecloth had covered that detail, which sucks like hell, because now the bullets are shattering through and you’re forced to kick yourself away and run behind the pillars instead. The heels are kicked off at the same time you’re fishing underneath your dress.

A stray bullet hits the pillar’s side making you squeal. It makes you work faster, though.

Once you find the secure nano-tech ‘button’ (as Scott liked to call it), you strip as quickly as you can and slap the button on your bare shoulder. The nano-tech spirals and threads into itself as intricately as frost spreads on a window, shielding you in both metal and kevlar.

When a storm of bullets hits the pillar and cracks the marble, you’re forced to crouch and hope Seda’s .22 and the myriad of weapons you’re now equipped with are enough. Before your thoughts can creep into a ‘last man standing’ mode, a roar of wind sweeps across the estate and between the cracked pillars, causing your loose hair to slap your face and blind you for only a second. Quickly putting your hair up and pulling the metal batons from the back of your suit, you’re met with the best sight - one that was a little late, in your opinion.

“Kind of you to show up!”

Sam ignores your quip as he flies into three men at once, feet first with his wings extended with the might of a guardian angel. He immediately shields runaway guests who were caught in the middle. He takes the ones on his left, you take the ones on his right.

You let them swing first. They’re fast and pulling their punches and are clearly aiming for the end result of sticking you to the ground. But you’re quicker and deflect the punches. You manage to deliver a solid punch upward to crack the nose of one. As he reaches up as instinct, his ribs are open season.

He falls out cold easily after your batons do their damage and the next man isn’t nearly as fast as the first. He doesn’t move enough to his right to avoid the harsh kick to his sternum. Each ambitious kick to the chest seems to demolish the man’s protective wall he’s trying desperately to keep intact, but once you give your legs a break and switch back to the batons, he doesn’t stand a chance. There are bullets raining across the venue, but Sam is shielding you and deflecting them elsewhere. It allows you the freedom to rip into whoever you think deserves it.

You’ve got two men on your tail and after knocking their weapons from their hands, it seems like a fairer fight. The first doesn’t step back far enough to avoid your roundhouse kick and he falls hard on his ass, gasping for a lick of air. The second is closer, however, and manages to wrap you in a chokehold. Releasing yourself to fall deadweight for only a second, gravity tricks him and you use the momentum to kick up and fly over his shoulders. It’s hard to do without a wall to propel yourself off of. But your abs and thighs are clenched and you don’t quite think you’ll actually end up on this guy’s shoulders but you do. You don’t dwell on that moment of personal pride, though. Tightening your thighs, you use your upper body weight to lean downward and wring his neck. Once he’s down, you sweep your leg around across the floor to trip the other man who was just barely standing back up. With the .22, you fire point blank.

Detaching yourself from the gore has never been much of a challenge. Eyes rolling back and clouding, limbs dangling limp after having just been full of life, bodies thumping against the floor after eating your bullets - you don’t so much as grit your teeth anymore.

Sam is dealing with his own mess closer to where that poor cake is now destroyed, vanilla filling exposed and now two stories instead of four. The other cakes are no better. Sam pulls the trigger once more at someone charging at him and he averts his eyes. Sam, however, clenches his jaw.

“Where’s Seda?” you shout, firing at men who are jumping out from behind tables but giving away their location before they even surprise you.

“Lost him. I think he’s heading over to Steve!”

You look over the room and pray everyone got out safely. There are no civilians lying in their own puddle of blood, no guests begging for help, but you can never know for sure. “We need more hands. Where the hell are Scott and Bucky?”

A storm of bullets starts crashing into the tables and pillars beside you. Trying to duck doesn’t work and you’re grazed in the left arm. Sam tackles you behind the stage, wings extending further and out bending around you.

“I’ve been shot!”

Sam can’t help the laugh that erupts from his throat because of your dramatic tone. “You’ve been grazed. The nano-tech has already rebuilt itself.”

“I don’t care, I hate being shot. It’s not nice. I’ve been hit.”

“Dramatic.”

“Y/N?” a harsh whisper sounds from under the stage tables. Watching your eyes bulge paints a mournful expression on Jackeline’s face. Julian is right beside her, pistol out but not shooting. You wonder if he knows you’re the invader.

“What in the hell are you still doing in here? I told you to run!”

“I’m sorry,” Jackeline squeals as bullets continue firing. “Everyone crowded. I was scared so I just got down.”

“Sam.”

Sam nods, already reading your mind. You had to find Steve; you couldn’t stay here. But there’s bullets still blazing in your direction and you find yourself hopping on your ass slightly each time a bullet connects to the ground beside you. The nano-tech does great in deflecting the lead but it really isn’t an invitation to get shot more times. The graze on your arm is already starting to burn.

“Sam is going to guide you both out of here, alright? Julian, cover her. Sam will cover you.”

There’s a war going on behind Julian’s eyes. His face does a thousand things at once as he hears your orders and the scream of guns combined, but he nods. He grips Jackeline’s waist and pulls her in close, but before they can begin crawling Jackeline turns back to you.

“Mátalo. Okay? Para nosotras dos.” She’s got this fierce determination in her eyes and her accent is as thick as can be.

“Okay.”

Sam relays his location over his mic and who he has behind his wings, but before he can safely guide the married couple down the stage, a new wave of men enter and open fire. Sam’s wings can only take so much, and even though they’re vibranium, his suit is not. Ducking behind the table and reloading your gun, you then lift your head over to view the scene. It’s a mess and you could surely take them down hand-to-hand if you were close enough, but you’re stranded with your batons and seven bullets and a world of automatic machinery pointed at you.

The storm of bullets pauses and every single person looks up to the sky. You thank the Gods for no rain today because the absence of a tarp allows for the quinjet to settle over the chaos and create a much needed distraction. Sam takes his leave, wings still wrapped around your sister, and you do the same. Running from behind the stage with batons lit up and tazed, you knock out the closest men. They fall in a strangle of electricity, vibrating and convulsing as each shock travels through their veins, ultimately paralyzing them for however long it turns out to be. This gains the attention of almost everyone else but before they can train their weapons back toward you, the back of the quinjet opens. There were a few tables still standing and it seemed the super soldier liked them better than the flat floor.

The glass shatters from the impact of Bucky’s weight, glasses of champagne and plates with unfinished meals folding onto the shards. He’s dressed in his tactical gear and a dark navy blue jacket without a trusty sleeve. Even if the arm was covered and his hair was long rather than the short length it was now, the men would certainly know who just fell from the sky. Almost immediately, the men scatter. Bucky takes them down one by one, shot after shot, and decides to use his knives for the ones who don’t run. It’s tricky, but he manages to lodge his knives in the base of the spines of those who later changed their minds.

He catches your eye after you manage to snap the neck of one of the runners. He tilts his head toward the left and watches you run to give Steve the backup he needs.

The mansion seems longer, wider, just generally bigger as you rush through the rooms and halls to get to Steve. The stuffed exotic animals follow your gaze and you can’t ignore them for long. There are men following you and men leaving Ernesto. You duck behind the standing polar bear and wait until the footsteps sound farther. Checking the amount of bullets in your gun, just in case, you finally flick the safety off and run.

There’s really only one thing of importance floating around the padded confines of your skull - get Steve out. Another thing you two had in common: both sacrificial idiots. But there wasn’t any way that you would give up the chance to save his life, as he would yours. Didn’t matter if the man you were protecting him from was your father or not. It hadn’t really settled, hadn’t truly digested, and you didn’t think it ever would. Because for years, this man was your father. He was the only man with that title. He wasn’t fatherly, far from it, but he had the label and that’s what you were going to focus on. It made no difference.

You push the office door open and start stuttering over your words. You want to ask what happened, why there’s so much blood, whose blood it is, but all that comes is a fractured series of what the hell’s? The last syllables push through with necessary force, hardly intelligible, but exhaled at last.

Ernesto is kneeling with his head hanging low and his hands behind his back, defeated. But it isn’t Steve who’s holding a gun to the back of his head - it’s Seda.

No, Steve is in the corner clutching at his right hip and gritting his teeth, a wild look on his face that tells you he too was blindsided. He’s hurt. He’s gasping and wincing at the slightest of movements and it ignites the flame you’ll use to burn this world to the ground. It’s splitting your fucking ribs apart.

“Don’t move!” Seda yells, gun still locked on Ernesto’s head but eyes on you. “Put the gun down.”

“Seda-”

“Put the fucking gun down!”

Biting your tongue, you flip the gun in your hand so it’s facing downward and move to gently place it on the table. Flicking your eyes to where Steve is, you get your answer as to why he’s been so easily shot. His massive body and shield are draped over Ramirez, who is also disarmed and pissed.

The self-righteous idiot, you think, he’s always gotta save the little guy.

“We’re gonna talk about this like the gods we are, yeah?”

Your face pulls awkwardly, “Seda, what is happening?”

“Don’t act like you’ve been on this asshole’s side the entire time now,” Seda bites, shoving the head of the gun harshly into the base of Ernesto’s neck. “Go on, tell him.”

“The shipment was intercepted,” you tell him. But you’re not just telling Seda, no, it’s the first Steve is hearing the good news and it allows him to feel a bit of relief. “You’ve both lost.”

“What have you done?” Ernesto screams, cheeks vibrating and face red with anger. He pays no mind to the gun and dares to glare at you. “Tell me!”

The top of your lip greets a run of tears and snot and it isn’t until then that you realize your hands are shaking mid-air and your throat is closing. “My mission.”

Blood or not, this man had the power to tie your thoughts into knots. He only had this power at precious moments and sadly, this was turning out to be one of them.

Seda bites out a laugh - it’s wet and bloody and scares you half to Hell. “I’m not the only one here who wants to kill you. But I’m going to beat her to it. She brought you back, I can’t have that.”

“No!” You curse inwardly at your involuntary hiccup. “We’re not here to kill you!”

“Oh?” Seda raises the gun at you. “What’s the endgame? Que mas necesitas?”

“I don’t need anything. The shipment is intercepted. The estate is on lockdown. Your routes are down. You’re cornered. It’s over.” You let your shoulders drag just a little. “For both of you.”

Surprisingly, Seda doesn’t pull the trigger when Ernesto charges toward you. He doesn’t pull it when Ernesto wraps his hands around your throat, either.

It’s instinct for you to hold out your hand to stop Steve from doing what he does best. He’s already halfway up and wincing with each push to help you, to rip Ernesto from your capable body, but Seda clicks the gun in his direction. Steve watches the way your arm extends, all five fingers spread in a hopeless plea of ‘don’t you sacrifice yourself for me, don’t you dare’.

“I have done nothing but help you! I put food on the table and clothes on your worthless back! You spent my money!” Ernesto’s eyes are practically bulging and his thumbs are almost crushing your windpipe, but his placement is off. You can still breathe air, no matter how bruising his grip may be. “This is how you treat me? I should have killed you all those years ago. I should have ripped you limb by limb until your cries bled!”

“Please,” you whimper out, hand still extended toward Steve and the other attempting to push Ernesto by the chest.

“Please? Please? Te voy a matar aquí, ahora, porque siempre te lo mereciste!”

You let out a strangled scream and are about to fight back. To save yourself and to end Steve’s suffering of watching you suffer, of watching his newfound hope dwindle right before him, when a gunshot erupts. Everyone screams, ears ringing, and there’s blood splattered all over your cheeks and neck, spots and leaks that trail down into the collar of your bodysuit. A heavy weight lands on you and knocks you back into the shelves. You hold Ernesto’s now limp body as best you can, knees locking painfully. There’s a massive hole where the top of his head should be and for the first time in years, you have to look away to keep from throwing up.

“Dejalo.”

You open and close your mouth but regret it when the taste of copper lands on your tongue. You follow Seda’s order and drop Ernesto to your feet, the thud sending a shiver up every single one of your vertebrae.

“Por qué hiciste eso?” you ask him, voice small. You choke on another hiccup.

“Don’t lie to me and say you weren’t going to do it yourself.”

You look over at Steve. His eyes are just as wide as yours and the same red specks, now turning brown, are tainting the flush pink skin of his beautiful neck.

“No,” you whisper. Steve hears your lost accent returning and it clutches at his heart.

“It was for the best.” Seda marches over to grab Ramirez by the tie, ripping him up from the ground and pointing the gun to his head. Steve lunges forward and Seda fires another bullet into the same hip.

“No!” Your throat is raw, scratched, and Steve hits the floor in another heap of muffled groans. Seda returns the aim on Ramirez.

“Imagine my surprise when I saw this one confronting Ernesto with your Captain. Imagine my fucking surprise when I tried to find all our passports, all our files, and nothing was here! Imagine my surprise when I saw that fucking idiot White being taken away by one of your agents!”

“Seda, please.” You were never much of a negotiator. It was always go in and let the others do the talking. Steve was the talker, he was the negotiator, but he was out of his element. He was always the enemy to Seda. He could never convince him otherwise.

“You’ve given me new purpose,” Seda grins and Ramirez is rather calm in his arms, like he accepts this. “Look at the crime scene. I’m using the gun Ramirez got from your team. My men are still loyal.”

He pauses and smiles with all teeth, blood in between most of them. “You shot Ernesto. You shot your Captain. You shot Omar.”

The frightened look on your face seems to fuel him even more. He continues, “We’ll never stop hunting you.”

“Try it,” Steve manages, standing up again and vaguely registering the flash of light to his right. His shield is no longer there. “You’ll have to kill me to win. You’ll have to kill all of us to win. Me, Y/N, Omar, Sam.” He breathes in deep but smiles. “The Winter Soldier.”

You swear Seda’s face pales but his grip around Ramirez’s waist only tightens. “Easy.”

“It won’t be,” you finally say, voice no longer wavering. There’s no plausible way Seda could win. But one thing is fact: whether they’re Seda’s or Ernesto’s men, they’ll never stop hunting you now. “You lost, Seda.”

All stills but there are shouts and the ring of gunshots still echoing near the lake.

“No,” Seda looks to you and to Ernesto’s body. “I didn’t.”

He aims the gun at you and fires.

Steve’s wail is grease to the fire in your soul and you accept whatever pain might hit. There’s space and then there isn’t. There’s emptiness and then there’s a space being filled by that horrid but lifesaving shield. There’s no one and then there’s Scott, blown up to his regular size with shield in hand and in front of you. The bullet bounces off the shield easily and hits the wall. You’re pushed into motion and in about two seconds, you’ve grabbed your gun again and do not hesitate to fire. The bullet hits Seda in his exposed chest and Ramirez fumbles to get the gun from him. Seda hits the floor and no one else follows.

The shot hits its target perfectly. Seda doesn’t so much as stutter.

“God,” Scott grumbles, eyes trying to focus on anything other than the pools of blood. “Was I late?”

You don’t pay any mind to Scott and rush over to Steve, where he’s barely holding himself up with his hip tilted on the edge of the desk. “Steve? Steve. Did he hit anything important?”

“Besides the fuckin’ meat of my stomach?”

There isn’t a way to see beneath the kevlar, but your fingers have a mind of their own as they try to dig in. “You know what I mean.”

Steve huffs a laugh and gently slaps your fingers away. “No, but motherfuck me Christ, I get shot way too much and it hurts no less.”

“Was the shield not enough? You had to sacrifice your one-hundred year old hips? Are you hit anywhere else?”

“I was caught off guard. What about you? I heard over the mics that you were shot and-”

“Are you two done?” Scott interrupts, clearing his throat awkwardly but half a mind still paying attention to his own mic.

It’s like you’re snapped back to reality. There’s not only Steve but others, alive and dead, and the smell of copper is all too familiar. “Sorry, I’m still in shock. I don’t really know how to proceed from here.”

“Y/N-” Scott tries, but you resume.

“We were supposed to arrest them. Just arrest them.”

“Okay, I think we should get you outta here,” Steve acts like he’s the one guiding you, but his weight is falling. You faintly register a phone ringing in the room but Steve, ever so persistent, is still acting like he is holding you up. He lunges forward with a sharp wince, and your hand immediately goes to his hip.

“Captain.”

Ramirez lowers his phone, call ended, and he wears an expression Steve recognizes immediately. It’s an expression that looks all too similar to Dugan’s when he relayed the news of enemy forces breaching their base. “...How many?”

“They’ve already sent the news to their men in Mexico.”

“Have they shut down the border?”

“It wouldn’t make a difference.”

“They don’t know two of their men are dead, so we can-“

Scott shakes his head, shield still in hand with specks of blood drying on the blue stripe. “They know White was arrested. That’s all they need. They’ll assume the rest, the worst.”

You sigh, “Seda was right.”

Scott literally pouts and he looks like he wants to wrap you in his arms. “No, don’t send yourself there.”

Steve, however, agrees with you. “If they know about White, then they know about Omar. Seda had time to tell his men.”

“Then we make sure he’s arrested and taken to a secure facility. We can keep an eye-” Scott starts, but you shut him down quickly.

“He’s wanted by the US government, not the Avengers. We can only transport him. We can’t guarantee his safety.”

Ramirez gives a small smile. “Mija, voy estar bien. No te preocupes.”

“I don’t know.”

Scott looks between the three of you. He places the shield against the wall near the door. He raises his eyebrows at Steve and looks to his wounds, but Steve waves him off. Reluctantly, Scott nods. “I’m gonna go check on Sam.”

There’s a pool of blood near your boots. You don’t want to know if it’s from the dead or from Steve.

“Doll, what are you thinking?”

He can’t hurt you anymore. “That I need you to go, too.”

Steve forgets about the pain in his hip and focuses solely on you. “What?”

“Go. If there’s one more thing you can do for me and my reckless family, go check on Sam.”

“You know I can’t leave you here alone with him.”

Your voice is steady and calm and it’s scaring Steve. It’s scaring him. “I promised myself that you wouldn’t be hurt by this mission. I stand by it.”

“I promise, Captain, I have no resentment. Whatever she does, I will follow,” Ramirez speaks, and Steve doesn’t even pay him a glance.

“I can’t just go.”

“Steve,” you interlock your fingers behind his neck. “Please. Listen to me.” He looks so confused, a million questions flying through his mind and almost escaping those sweet pink lips. Fierce, you whisper for only him. “He can’t hurt me anymore. He can’t hurt me anymore.”

He relishes the feeling of your soft hands behind his neck. They’re bloody, but yours. His neck is bloody, but you don’t seem to care. “Two minutes.”

“Two minutes,” you confirm.

He pulls from your hold and turns to leave. He picks up the shield. Before he leaves, he grips the doorway and looks over his shoulder, eyebrows pinched and jaw tense. “Two minutes, I swear to Almighty Christ, Y/N. I’m coming back for you.”

You smirk, the dim light from the office lamps creating nothing short of a sparkle in your eyes. “I don’t expect anything less, Rogers.”

Steve hesitates for a moment and then he walks away. Once his footsteps are no longer heard, you turn back to Ramirez. There’s a voice in your head telling you this was a bad idea and that you were an idiot to have your back turned on him for so long, but Ramirez is simply leaning on one of the chairs and grimacing at the bloody scene before him.

“Remember when Ernesto bought you that car when you were thirteen? And then another when your brother crashed it?”

Your nose pinches, “I don’t feel like reminiscing when he’s lying right there.”

“Do you remember what you told me when he bought you that second car? The sports one?”

You sigh. Ramirez was clearly going to continue speaking. “‘No lo quiero. Soy una niña. Get rid of it.’”

“And I did.”

“You did.”

He smiles, and for the first time you notice all the gray hair dusting his head, the most by his temples. There's a limp in his step too but you can’t remember if he had before or after the wedding. “I’ll get rid of this.”

“What?” you blink, unsure if you heard him right.

“I’m already a traitor. If I spin this, you can continue the mission. You can arrest even more of his men. They’ll come after me instead of you.”

It’s what he’s been trained to do. It’s what he’s done since he transported his first shipment. It’s what he’s done time and time again for Ernesto, for Seda, for some of his own careless men. He’s numb to it, just as you were a few days ago, but now you can’t stop thinking about the aftermath. Where would he put their bodies? Would they be buried here or back in Mexico? Would people really care if Ernesto was dead? They didn’t seem to care when he was snapped out of existence. But Ramirez has this sag in his shoulders that tells you he’s already calculating the best way to wrap the bodies and how deep he plans on sending them… or burning them. Burning them was always easier.

“They’ll come after your family. Your daughters.”

He shakes his head, “I’ve ensured their safety. They’re safe.”

Against your better judgement, you tap your mic discreetly and turn it off. “I can’t let you take one for the team.”

He chuckles, “I’m a part of your team? I’m an Avenger?”

You can’t help but laugh with him. It’s not a light moment, but it’s a moment nonetheless. “Sure, Omar. But we don’t trade lives.”

“I had this coming.”

“No, you didn’t. You don’t.” Straining your ears and shutting your eyes, you mumble a quick prayer in hope that this plan of yours worked. You pass Ramirez your own gun and speak low. “Go.”

He’s shocked and he stutters. “Que haces? Que esta pasando?”

“There’s no one on the east side right now. All the guests were moved to the front. It’s clear. But not for long.” Pushing him to the door, you make sure he’s not leaving any bloody footprints behind. He’s clear. “Go.”

“This will kill us both.”

“But it will give us a head start.”

“No puedo hacer eso! No quiero hacer eso.”

“Omar, they’re not going to protect you once you’re charged. I can’t protect you then. So I need you to go.” You reach into your suit and pluck that random Roman coin you had stolen just a few days earlier. It was a token of good luck but you didn’t need it anymore. You avoid looking at the carving for fear that the likeness to Steve will make you change your mind. You place it in Ramirez’s hand and clench his fist shut. “If there’s one thing you can do for my stupid, anti-hero mentality, go.”

“Que hago con esto?”

“No me llamas. But let me find this.”

He looks at you with pity. It’s so much pity and understanding for your situation that you have to look away. “I owe you my life.”

Eyesight now on the wall over his shoulder, you offer him a thin smile. “You wouldn’t be the first.”

He stumbles at first, unsure if this is really happening, and finally passes by. “Y/N.”

You figure it’d be pretty rude not to answer. You turn slowly. He continues, face somber and head shaking with so much pity. “The amount of Hell that’s coming...”

It’s funny, really. You shoot him that famous smile you were known for. It tricks him like it’s supposed to. “I’m already going to Hell for the lives I’ve taken and the crimes I’ve committed. But the journey to my fate has been worth it.”

The estate is being swept as quickly as possible. There are agents dressing wounds, reading rights, snapping photos, on the phone, etc. It’s organized chaos and there’s so much happening but it’s never impossible to catch Steve’s side profile in a crowd. His nose is pinched up and he’s dealing with his wounds himself. No one is even looking at him.

Speed walking to him, you hook your arm in his and turn him around. He’s too tall, and your toes strain as you rise on them, but you wrap your arms around his neck anyway. He returns the gesture and squeezes you as hard as you’re squeezing him. After a few seconds, he whispers quietly.

“Where’d Ramirez go?”

If he saw your eyes, he would know you were lying. You keep your arms in place. “He got away.”

He tries to push you away but fails. “Y/N.”

“He got away,” you repeat. Slowly, regretfully, you pull back. “We should go.”

There’s a horrible crease in between his eyebrows and he knows he’s caught you in a lie, but he also knows that if there was one thing he knew most about you, it was that you were just as stubborn as he was. Quick with wit, always asking to be punched, and stubborn to the point it made strangers worry. So he doesn’t question it, and turns with you in the direction of the jet. “Maribel has the safehouse set up. Montana.”

“You sure you can make it to the jet? Should I get Bucky to come with us?”

The quinjet is empty except for a few supplies, a medical bag, and Friday. There are only two seats and by the way Steve’s bending over to show his true pain, you’d be flying it. Once you land, you can fish out those bullets.

“No one else.” Steve bites. He can’t risk anyone else - hell, he doesn’t even want to risk you. “I’ll protect you.”

You board the jet and watch as the trees sway in rhythm to the movements of everyone doing their job. It’s dark, and you push the fact that you’re so horribly night blind to the back of your skull, and it’s starting to eat away at you that the mission didn’t really go as planned. No one seems to notice yet that you never brought them the two main players they were hoping for. It only makes you close the quinjet faster. You sit Steve down in one of the seats and kneel before him. “And I you.”

If anyone asked, Steve would lie and say he was tearing up because of the bullets piercing his skin in half. To protect and be protected.

“Let’s go.”

TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress

#steve rogers x reader #reader x steve rogers #avengers x reader #reader x avengers #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #to topple #a giant #by Moni #captainsimagines #mob fanfic #trigger warnings listed #enemies to lovers #friends to enemies to lovers #mini-series #part eight #chapter eight #marvel fanfiction #marvel masterlist

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rwhague · 3 years ago

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Schizophrenia: Putting It All Together

There is no cure for schizophrenia. But there is treatment. These treatments save lives, but the side effects can be hell. Last week we talked about what schizophrenia looks like when all of the symptoms are present. This week I’m going to talk about what a person with schizophrenia’s life looks like during the day-to-day. For a person with schizophrenia, taking medications every day is of utmost importance. The delusions from schizophrenia can be traced back to an over-release of the chemical dopamine in the brain. Anti-psychotics merely plug the leaky dopamine pipe. Once the leaking pipe is stopped, however, the person starts feeling much better and may decide they do not need their medications after all. Bad idea. The hallucinations and delusions come back with a vengeance (Lewis). But there’s another problem with the dopamine suppressing drugs: they don’t target just the areas where the delusions originate, but also the rest of the brain. And what’s another disease associated with low dopamine? Parkinson’s Disease. A person taking these anti-psychotic medications can not develop actual Parkinson’s Disease from the drugs, but may have pseudoparkinsonism with similar symptoms such as a hand tremor, issues with balance, and difficulty walking. They develop a shuffling gait, mask-like face (a decrease in ability to show expressions on their face due to paralyzed facial muscles), muscle stiffness, drooling, slowness in starting movement. The person taking the medications may experience dystonic reactions where spasms occur in discrete muscle groups such as the eyes and neck (the patient will have chronically raised shoulders like a tortoise shell). They might have a protruding tongue, difficulty swallowing, and spasms around their throat which, if bad enough, might lead to a compromised airway. This is obviously terrifying. Most of these side effects develop shortly after starting or increasing the dose of medications. A more long-term side effect, however, is tardive dyskinesia. It’s characterized by “abnormal, involuntary movements such as lip smacking, tongue protusion, chewing, blinking, grimacing, and strange movements of the limbs and feet” (Videbeck). Keep in mind the person is fully aware of the strange movements and are probably embarrassed. This bizarre, uncontrollable behavior may lead to further social isolation. Is it really a wonder they want to come off their meds?

And in all this, the anti-psychotics are only treating half of the problem. In the previous post, I mentioned positive and negative symptoms. Positive symptoms are those symptoms that are added experiences to a ‘normal person’: hallucinations, delusions, etc. Negative symptoms are things such as depression, withdrawal, loss of joy, etc. Anti-psychotics do not treat the negative symptoms. The struggle of day-to-day living for a person with schizophrenia is enormous. Because of this, pharmacology is just one part of the treatment. Individual and group therapy is key. There, things such as family dilemmas and medication management can be addressed. Clients can undergo social skills training where complex social behavior is broken down into easier to manage parts. Some very creative people have put together environmental supports such as signs, calendars, hygiene supplies, and pill containers to cue clients to perform various tasks. If a schizophrenic person has a good support system, they have a better shot than most. Family education and therapy are known to diminish the negative effects of schizophrenia and reduce the relapse rate. Unfortunately, good support systems are hard to build and even harder to sustain. It’s hard to take care of someone who believes everyone is out to get them. Or to be patient with someone who offers very little in return: no smiles, flat expressions, lack of joy. Unfortunately, this is a part of the therapy that is forgotten about the most. So take all that together for a moment and imagine life as someone with schizophrenia or a caregiver of someone with this disease. I’m going to give you a quick example from the perspective of a writer: Hunter moved into the apartment down the hall from his parents. He’s super excited to be independent and have a place of his own. For the past several years since his diagnosis, Hunter’s routine has been the same: get up, get dressed, brush teeth, etc. all in the same order every day. Unfortunately, just as he is about to take his medications, someone knocks on the door. It’s the maintenance guy just stopping by to let Hunter know the power might go out for a few minutes later that day. But it’s enough to distract Hunter and he forgets the meds. He goes on, grabs his bus pass, and goes to work at the deli. While he’s at the bus stop, people keep staring at Hunter. He tries to ignore it, as he leans back in his seat smacking his lips and wipes a bit of drool from the corner of his mouth. Hunter gets to work on time, but finds Ricky working that day. Ricky laughs aloud at Hunter’s slippers. Apparently, he forgot to change his shoes too. All day, Ricky mocks Hunter’s slow movements, his shaky hands—just whatever he can to get under Hunter’s skin. But that’s not the worst of it. Hunter is used to Ricky, but the customers start whispering about him behind his back too. And then there’s one guy that’s watching Hunter just a little too closely. Later on that day, Hunter sees the guy across the street, watching him through the window. Hunter takes the bus home, and all the people are watching him now, talking about him. He sees the guys again outside the bus window. Now Hunter knows he’s being followed.

When Hunter gets home, he locks the door and goes to kitchen. He grabs a meat hammer and sits by the window where he’s sure he hears the man outside, talking about him. The man says he’s going to get Hunter. He’s going to burn the apartment complex down and kill him and his parents. Hunter runs out of the apartment, not wanting to be trapped inside a burning building. Later, his mom stops by and can’t find Hunter although his coat and wallet are inside. She searches the apartment complex and finally finds Hunter barefooted and hiding behind a dumpster. By now the voices have grown too loud. Hunter doesn’t recognize his mother and charges her with the meat hammer. A neighbor stops Hunter and restrains him until the ambulance can arrive, but Hunter is institutionalized until they can get his delusions under control. Unfortunately, this is the third hospitalization this year, and Hunter loses his job at the deli. Without the extra income, he has to move back into his parent’s apartment and start over. All because the maintenance guy stopped by. People with schizophrenia are just that: people. I hope this information has helped you gain a better understanding of the condition so that we can portray those effected by mental illness accurately. Sources: Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing, by Sheila L. Videbeck, fifth ed., Wolters Kluwer/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2011. Lewis, J. (2011, March 6). The Future of Schizophrenia. Dr. Jack Lewis. http://www.drjack.co.uk/the-future-of-schizophrenia-by-dr-jack-lewis

#writersblog #writingadvice #writingtips #writer #write #author #authorblog #authortips #authoradvice #schizophrenia #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #writingaboutmentalhealth #writingaboutschizophrenia #gettingitright

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graaythekwami · 4 years ago

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Crimson and Noire - Ch 1

Kwami swap & reverse crush AU

Summary: When Marinette found a magical ring and a cat god of chaos in her room, she knew her life was going to be turned upside down. Protecting Paris seems like something she should love, especially with her handsome partner Crimson by her side, but with the city fearful and untrusting of Lady Noire’s destructive powers the stress slowly begins tearing her up from the inside out.

Adrien thought going to school would be the big change of his life, but a kwami called Tikki and the villain Monarch swiftly proves to be the adventure he never even dreamed of having. Being Crimson Beetle gives him the freedom he’s always wanted, and while he’s used to being in the spotlight being hailed the leader and savior is something entirely new. It’s nearly as overwhelming as his crush on Marinette– but at least that’s a normal teenage thing.

***

Also read on ao3 (x) and FFN (x)!

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"Woah, are you like the genie in the lamp?"

Tikki loved getting new holders. It was always a thrilling experience, getting to meet the one she'd be with for the next who-knows-how long. A decade seemed to be the average, but she would be happy to spend a lifetime with each one. She stretched as she was fully released from the earrings, giggling as a finger came towards her curiously.

"I'm a kwami," she said with a smile, grabbing the finger with both of her paws, giving it a small shake. "My name is Tikki, and it's really nice to meet you, Adrien."

Adrien stared at her, looking almost starstruck. His eyes were a brilliant green, reminding her of a certain fellow kwami. He slowly withdrew his finger, looking between her and the small box that contained her earrings, before moving a step closer.

"What's a kwami?" he asked. "And how do you know my name?"

"Hmm, I guess I'm what you might call a sprite," Tikki replied after a moment of thought. "Kwamis are magical creatures that embody a certain concept. For example, I represent Creation. As for how I know your name, you can say you were chosen."

"Chosen?" Adrien echoed. "Me? For what?"

Tikki zipped over towards the large television screen, where a live report of Stoneheart was playing. She stared at it for a few moments, still awed even after so many centuries of what humans could do with technology, before waving a paw at the moving image.

"Stoneheart is an innocent person that's been infected with negative energy by a Miraculous," Tikki explained. "Under that magic is a human that needs our help. What you're holding in your hands is my Miraculous, and together we can transform to save both Stoneheart and Paris."

His eyes widened. "You mean like a superhero?"

"Exactly!" Tikki beamed. "One of my powers would grant you the ability to rid him of the energy corrupting him–"

"How do we transform?" Adrien asked, cutting her off as he seized the earrings in his hands, which turned silver to his touch. He was already slipping them on, eyes locked on her in excitement. "Let's–"

"Adrien!" Tikki said firmly, flying towards him. "We can't rush into this!"

"But he's attacking the city!" He protested. "And I can get out of here, and help him, and–"

"Sit down," Tikki said, pointing to the couch. "Or else I won't tell you how to transform." Never mind that he could just order her to tell him, but he didn't seem like the type. "If we don't do this right we can end up making this worse. As soon as we transform I won't be able to speak to you, so you need to pay attention now!"

He sat down instantly, and Tikki was startled to find his happy expression was gone. She hadn't been too harsh– had she? Just a bit firm to counter his excitement, which was of course a natural reaction to receiving one's Miraculous.

"Sorry," he whispered as he sank onto the couch. "I just– I just want to help. And get out of here. And– and I'll just be quiet now."

He was determined and had a good heart– he was going to be a wonderful Ladybug, Tikki could already see it now. She zipped up to him, rubbing up against his cheek, and she was grateful to hear him let out a small laugh.

"Nothing to apologize for, Adrien, that attitude will make you a good hero," she said, pulling back. "Okay, so listen closely. You're going to be using three of my abilities in battle, and you'll want to use them right."

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"AAAAGGGGHHHH!"

Plagg hated getting new holders. It was always a strenuous experience, getting to meet the one he'd be stuck with for the next who-knows-how long. A decade if he was lucky, but considering he was misfortune incarnate he would probably be with this one for a lifetime. He let out a loud yawn as he was released from his ring, ignoring the screams of his next chosen.

"Why is everything pink?" He asked with a groan as he looked about the room, everything splattered with the offending color. He crinkled his nose, already not liking his new surroundings. "And do you have anything to eat? I'm starving."

It had been a whole three hours since he had last eaten– what a crime.

"Eep!" The girl yelped, jumping back, dropping the box that contained his Miraculous. "The cat-mouse thing talks!"

"Yep," he said, and a gleam of light caught his eyes. "Ooo, shiny," he muttered, diving towards the object, which was cool to the touch. "Can I eat this?"

A bite into the metal scissors revealed that he in fact could not, and with a sneer he pushed it away. He then zipped off to another part of the room, the girl letting out a nervous whimper, but there were few objects he recognized compared to the last era he had a holder in. The girl was saying something, which he ignored, at least until something came flying in his direction.

"Hey!" He snapped, dodging the textbook, only for a pin cushion to be thrown at his face. He skillfully avoided that flying object as well, but his new holder (Marinette or something? He didn't remember what Master had said) seemed to have an endless supply of things. She seemed to be getting more panicked by the moment, and with a grin he zipped towards her, easily avoiding each airborne item.

"Gah!" She cried, grabbing a glass from her vanity, bringing it down over him. She was panting, craning her head closer to get a better look at him. "What... what are you? You're talking, and flying, and... appeared from nowhere!"

"Oh no," Plagg cried dramatically, paw draped over his forehead. "I'm trapped, whatever shall I do?" A smirk spread across his face. "No wait– I'm not!"

He phased right through the cup, charging right at her face. The shriek she let out was hilarious, and he let out a cackle as she scrambled back. He hovered there in the air for a moment, wondering just what kind of Black Cat she would be. She seemed to be on the nervous side, but of course most humans were when first exposed to magic, and the shock tended to wear off quickly. He wondered if he could scare her again, when he heard footsteps coming from below them.

"Marinette, are you okay?" A worried voice called.

Plagg's gaze hardened, and he turned towards her. "Tell her you're okay," he demanded– he was not dealing with the secret being leaked this early. "And don't let her come in here, got it?"

Fortunately, Marinette listened. "I'm– I'm fine, Mom. I just saw a spider? But I got it? So I'm okay now?"

Her mother let out a chuckle. "Well maybe this wouldn't happen if you'd keep your room clean."

Plagg glanced around her room, which was currently littered with even more objects from her throwing-frenzy, and he snickered. He zipped over to his fallen Miraculous as he heard her mother's footsteps retreating, scooping up the ring before flying back over towards her. She was watching him with wide eyes, though she seemed much more calm than when she had first seen him.

"What are you?" She asked again, slowly pushing herself to her feet.

"I'm a kwami," he said dryly. "We grant powers. Yours is Destruction. We need to go fight. Got it?"

"Huh?" She said, blinking.

"Meh, please, don't make this harder than it has to be," he waved a paw towards her computer screen, which was showing a live report of Stoneheart. "See that guy? It's our job to stop him. Now do you have anything to eat?"

"Woah, woah, slow down–" she said, and her eyes once again went wide. "You have the wrong person, I can tell you that– you'd have to be crazy to want to go after that thing."

Plagg grinned, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, you'd pretty much have to be. But when it comes to Miraculouses, crazy is what you're going to get," he tossed the ring up into the air, catching it with his tail. "But hey, you get powers out of it, and that seems to be a good enough deal for most people."

"Powers?" She said, before shaking her head. "No, I can't have powers, the only power I'd have is super-clumsiness or something."

"The transformation will take care of that and stuff," he flipped upside down. "Oh yeah, 'claws out', that's how you transform. That and the ring."

She stared at him, and he chucked the Miraculous at her. She fumbled to catch it, black turning to a rosegold in her hand. Marinette clearly didn't seem to know what to make of this, and it seemed logical that he should use this time to explain everything. He'd rather go find some cheese... but a Miraculous in the hands of someone without knowledge was never a good idea.

"But..."

"Look kid, the name's Plagg. Let's just start at the beginning, okay?"

-----------------

Marinette had never exactly had high hopes for the first day of school– but she hadn't expected it to be this bad.

She could make a list of what had gone wrong, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. Everything from spilling her breakfast to nearly being hit by a speeding car to having to deal with Chloe for another year. Oh yeah– and there was the fact that her classmate had somehow been turned into a giant stone monster and was attacking the city.

And she was the one in the cat costume going to fight him.

"You got this," she told herself as she stood on the edge of her balcony, a silver baton in hand. "You're magic now, you saw it for yourself, magic is real."

That still wasn't enough to convince herself to jump off of the side of her balcony though. This was all happening too quickly– and there was nothing she could do to slow it down. She swallowed, hands tightening around her baton as she looked at the distance between here and the ground. Her fingers were tipped with what appeared to be metal claws, but they didn't hurt as they dug into her palms, which was covered with the same black material of her suit. It looked a bit like leather, but was too thin and too flexible to be that. Her costume went from her neck down to the tips of her feet, highlighted with green tubing that gave an illusion of gloves, boots, and a belt.

She didn't even know what to make of the cat ears and mask on her head– which had no way of staying on, yet weren't falling off either. Her pigtails had been replaced with a single dark braid, which fell down to past her ankles, swaying behind her despite the lack of a breeze, but she wasn't even going to think about that right now.

She looked over her baton again, which was silver just like her claws, and featured a neon green paw print on the front. It was the same symbol on the so-called 'Miraculous' she had found, which Plagg had been sucked into as soon as she called on a transformation. The cat-kwami-creature hadn't been all that convincing with his words and what he wanted her to do, in the end it had been the image of Alya biking after Stoneheart that had pressed her into at least attempting to do something.

With that thought in mind she took in a deep breath, and tapped one of the pads of the paw print. The button soundlessly clicked under her finger, and she yelped as the baton expanded in her grasp. She blinked, before pressing it again, watching as the weapon continued expanding in length as her finger held down the button. She had pressed it without thought, and yet it had felt so natural.

Even though her mind was screaming 'no', she decided to follow these instincts, and carefully climbed up onto her railing. She let out a small giggle at how easy it felt, balancing on the metal bar with ease when she should have been stumbling and flailing, and she aimed the baton towards the ground, expanding it once more. She watched as it grew, a faint clink that she shouldn't have heard reaching her ears as it hit the ground. She then closed her eyes, bracing herself– and jumped.

The wind tore at her as she vaulted from her balcony, eyes remaining firmly closed. Panic was building up in her, yet it all felt so liberating at the same time. Her feet landed on a rooftop, and she opened her eyes to find that she had survived. A spark of confidence settled into her heart, finger sliding over to the second paw pad to shrink the baton back into a more manageable size as she made her way across the roofs.

And so she repeated these actions, carefully vaulting between buildings and streets while carefully making her way on top of roofs, not quite sure of where she was heading, but at least she was making progress. Her hesitation didn't surface again until she found herself approaching a more busy road, a much larger gap now standing in her way. She hesitated on the ledge for a moment, ignoring the few people pointing up at her, wondering if this was something she could clear with her baton.

"You just have to go for it, Marinette," she told herself as she backed up, deciding that a running start would be her best bet. She had made it this far, after all, so why should a larger jump be the thing to stop her? Her finger hovered over the expand button, charging towards the edge and closing her eyes as she tapped it, hoping the momentum would be all she needed to clear the street.

She failed to see the blur of red swinging right towards her as she vaulted, slamming right into him as their paths crossed.

"Gah!" She cried, eyes flying open as she slammed into the red figure, her baton becoming entangled in the wire he had been swinging from. Her stomach twisted as they fell together, and her finger slammed down onto the expand button once more in hopes that would somehow save them from crashing into the cement below.

And it did, sort of. The pole sprung out, catching between two buildings, but it slipped out of her hand. Luckily the string was what caught them, though it had wrapped around both hers and the stranger's entire bodies, pulling them into a tangled mess as it snagged on her baton, leaving them dangling just feet from the ground. She found her face mere inches from another, bright green eyes regarding her in surprise.

"I guess that's one way to come crashing in," the boy said, wincing slightly in pain, but still managing to smile. "Um, here, Tikki said this can retract at will–? Ah, here we go–!"

She heard a zip, and felt the wire untangling from around her– and she and the boy went tumbling to the ground. She let out a groan, shakily pushing herself to her knees, looking up to find a yoyo retracting to his hand. She stared at it for a moment, before realizing he had been using it as a grappling hook. He gave her an apologetic smile, swiftly holding out a hand to her.

"I'm so sorry," he said hastily, pulling her to her feet. "I didn't mean to do that! Here, let me get your stick-thing–"

"It's okay," she muttered, slightly dazed. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one that crashed into you."

He swung his yoyo up at her baton, giving it a sharp tug, and it came crashing down. She jumped as it hit the road, before hurrying over and trying to find the button to shrink it down. She let out a shaky sigh of relief as it was once again a normal size, and hooked it on her hip. It seemed to be magnetic, just sticking to her side– or maybe it was just more magic. She then turned towards the boy, finally getting a proper look at him.

Plagg had told her there would be one other hero to help her out, which was a good thing because there was no way she could do this by herself. He was in a bright red suit, which was covered in scattered black dots. More patches of black highlighted his costume– on his hands, going down his sides to his legs, and on his collar. His shoulders were padded, and a mask similar to hers sat across his face. His eyes were a brilliant green, watching her curiously, and his hair a light blond– wild and unkept. Two strands of hair stuck up from the top of his head, dyed red.

"A ladybug?" She said, easily recognizing what animal he was supposed to be.

"Huh?" He asked, blinking.

"Your costume," she said. "You're a ladybug. I guess I didn't expect that for an animal themed hero?"

Maybe a wolf or a hawk or something, but a bug just hadn't been what she expected.

"I'm no ladybug," he said, a smile flickering on his face, and to her surprise he gave her a bow. "You're the lady," he glanced up. "Can I call you that? Lady? Or does that sound rude?"

"Lady works," she said. "And if you're not ladybug then what should I call you?"

"Hmm," he sat up, considering this. "Lordbug, maybe? Misterbug? Nah, 'bug' doesn't work for me. How about beetle? Red Beetle, or maybe–"

He was interrupted but the sound of a large crash, and they both looked up to see a building collapsing in the distance. The friendly atmosphere melted away instantly, reminding them why they had been sent out here. Beetle-boy spun his yoyo a few times, before sending it flying up towards the rooftops. It wrapped around a chimney, and with a tug it pulled him up into the air.

"Wait–!" She called, taking a step towards him, and he glanced back at her.

"We don't have time to wait!" He said. "We're supposed to go save Paris, right?"

And with that he let his yoyo fly again, swinging off towards the threat. She wasn't anywhere near ready for the responsibility that had been shoved onto her shoulders, but still she backed up with baton in hand– taking a running start before leaping after him. It was easy to follow Beetle, the red of his suit standing out against the cityscape, but even then she could just follow the trail of destruction if she lost track of him.

Stoneheart had made his way to a football stadium, and it seemed he had been seeking out Kim– who had taken shelter near the bleachers. Everyone else seemed to have evacuated the stands and the field, though she could make out Alya's figure near Kim's, having faithfully followed after Stoneheart, her phone recording the whole thing. She was bouncing on her heels, eagerly filming as Beetle leapt after the stone monster, yoyo flying.

Marinette found herself parazyled on top of the stands, watching as her apparent partner fearlessly took on Stoneheart, but she couldn't move. Magic was one thing. Jumping from buildings was another. But purposely going after something so large with the intentions to hurt her... that was another thing entirely. Her braid lashed out behind her as if responding to the terror pouring through her, and in her mind a little voice chanted to wake up– because this had to be a dream.

Yet she didn't wake up, the whole arena shaking as Beetle danced out of the way of Stoneheart's fists as they came crashing down. She flinched as one came dangerously close, the edge of his knuckles grazing Beetle's chest, knocking him to the ground. Stoneheart sneered, picking up a football net and chucking it at him. Beetle rolled out of the way, and the net continued on, right towards Alya and a fleeing Kim.

"No!" Beetle shouted, flinging his yoyo, wrapping it around the edge of the net, pulling it away moments before it crashed into Alya, but those few moments were all Stoneheart needed to grab Beetle. He struggled in the giant's grasp, but it proved to be secure. A glowing purple mask surrounded Stoneheart's face, who brought Beetle closer.

She couldn't just stand here. She had to do something. She looked down at her ring, reminding herself she had powers that Plagg had given to her. He had promised her a partner– and she assumed the same had been true for Beetle. She couldn't let him do this alone, not when the same would be too much for her.

So with her baton in hand she charged, vaulting down into the stadium, ringed hand raised. Plagg had said the words had to be activated with meaning behind them, so she mustered every ounce of will she could gather, focusing on the Miraculous on her hand as she slammed it down into the ground, crying:

"Cataclysm!"

Black energy bubbled out from her claw-tips, sinking into the earth with ease. She watched as the grass turned black at her touch, the energy webbing out from where she had struck. Cracks formed in the ground as Destruction surged out from her Miraculous, the ground beginning to crumble under Stoneheart's feet. He let out a grunt as he found he was no longer on stable turf, falling into the sinkhole, dropping Beetle as he fell.

That had been her intention, yet it seemed the Cataclysm had its own goal in mind. The darkness rushed out, instantly killing the grass as it surged out towards the stands. Marinette watched in awe and horror as the Cataclysm engulfed the seats and stadium, it all turning to ash as it crumbled. Hunks of metal fell, leaving her ears ringing, the area looking like a wasteland.

"I..." Marinette whispered, shocked. "I didn't mean..."

Beetle pushed himself to his feet, grinning. "That was awesome."

"Awesome?!" She cried. "I– I just leveled the whole place! I just meant for him to drop you, I didn't mean–"

"Don't worry, Lady," he said, drawing his yoyo once more as Stoneheart began to climb out of the hole she created. "One of my powers apparently fixes everything up. Let's just worry about catching that butterfly, okay?"

Right. The corrupted object they needed to find and break. Stoneheart would remain empowered as long as it remained intact. She gave a small nod, trying to make herself focus, though her head spun at what her power had just done. A small chirping reached her ears, and she looked down to see one of the paw pads on her ring had vanished.

"Taking your sweet time, huh?" Beetle called to Stoneheart as he dragged himself out of the sinkhole. "Can't handle the earth– I thought that's what you're made of!"

Beetle did have a point, while catching him off guard, the fissure she had created wasn't unreasonably deep compared to Stoneheart. She watched as he finally pulled himself out of the hole, pushing himself to his knees, and her eyes narrowed.

"His hand," she said, pointing. "It's been closed the entire time, he didn't even use it to climb out."

Beetle blinked. "Huh?"

"The object," Marinette said, both of them darting across the field as Stoneheart came charging at them. "That must be where it's hiding, where else on his body could it be? We need to get him to open his hands!"

"Do you have a plan?"

"Er–" She glanced around, trying to see if there was anything they could use. Just dust and debris littered the land around them, and Alya recorded the fight with wide eyes. A fountain of water sprouted up, the waterline broken from when she had brought the stadium down.

He grinned. "Guess it's my turn then– Lucky Charm!"

He tossed his yoyo up, pink light surrounding the weapon. Marinette watched as it solidified into a bright red sphere, covered with black spots. It came crashing down, Beetle grunting as he caught the bowling ball. It was a decent size, larger than what you'd find at an alley. He stared at it for a moment, blinking.

"Miraculouses!" Stoneheart bellowed as he came charging at them.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Beetle cried as they took off running once more, and thankfully their enhanced strength allowed him to keep pace despite the bowling ball in his arms.

Marinette glanced back at Stoneheart, mind racing. They couldn't throw it at his legs to trip him, she had basically done the same thing with her Cataclysm and it had only slowed him down for a moment. It was fairly large, but according to the news report hitting him with something had only made him bigger. It couldn't be used to defeat Stoneheart himself, they needed to use it to get the object...

"Throw it at him!" Lady cried.

"What good will that do?" Beetle asked as they jumped over the hole she had created earlier.

"Just trust me!" She called back, as she didn't have time to fully explain her plan– especially not without Stoneheart overhearing it. Beetle hesitated for one second, before chucking the bowling ball up and at him as hard as he could. Stoneheart grunted, opening up his free hand and catching it like a baseball. Beetle threw her a look as if to say 'now what?', and she smiled at him apologetically. "Sorry!"

She then placed the tip of her baton against his chest, hitting the expand button– launching him straight towards an incoming Stoneheart. Green eyes widened in confusion as he found himself flying at their enemy, its other rocky hand opening up to catch the hero. Beetle let out a grunt as he found himself trapped once more, and Marinette smirked as she saw something purple fall out of Stoneheart's hand.

She charged over towards it, finding it to be what looked like a crumpled up piece of paper, though it was as hard as rock in her hands. She turned it over once, before Stoneheart looked over at her with wide eyes, that glowing mask appearing over his face once more as he charged towards her.

"I got it!" She cried to Beetle, hoping he wasn't too upset for using him as bait, before dropping the object to the ground. She brought her baton down on it, shattering it into pieces, and a small black butterfly came fluttering out from the remains.

Black energy bubbled around Stoneheart, and with a flash of light the rocky creature began to crumble. Beetle and the bowling ball were freed from his grasp, and a very confused Ivan was left in the wake of things. The large teenager rubbed his head, looking about at his surroundings, eyes wide. Beetle had landed on his feet, staring at Lady with an unreadable expression.

"What... what's happening?" Ivan asked weakly, and Beetle pulled out his yoyo. "Who are you...? How did I get here?"

"Where do you think you're going?" Beetle asked in a playful tone, eyes looking up as he flicked his finger across his yoyo, which opened up like a pair of elytra. Glowing white light poured out from inside the magical weapon, which he lashed out at the fleeing butterfly, trapping it inside. He brought the yoyo back towards him, and Marinette could feel something shift deep inside her– and she somehow knew it was the energy that had been in the butterfly– dark energy turning to light.

Beetle tapped the yoyo, and sure enough a little white butterfly came fluttering out instead. There was a huge grin on his face as he watched it fly up into the sky, unaware of the chaos it had caused. Beetle then turned towards Ivan, offering a hand out to him.

"Long story short, you were basically mind controlled," Beetle said, helping him to his feet as Marinette made her way over towards him. "But you don't need to worry, we freed you from it– do you know what happened?"

"I..." He rubbed his head. "I... I was sent to the principal's office for something I didn't do. Then... then suddenly I was angry, really angry, and I think I heard a voice in my head...? I don't remember what she said though."

"It's over now," Marinette said as she joined them, and Beetle threw her a grin.

"Awesome plan, Lady," he said. "I had no idea what you were doing in the moment... but it turned out awesomely!" He scratched the back of his neck, before offering her an extended fist. "Pound it?"

"Pound it," she said with a smile, bumping her own fist up against his. She felt... so alive– barely able to believe what she had just done. She had fought a giant, and had won! "Sorry for throwing you like that, I didn't really have time to explain."

"No sweat, Lady," Beetle said, and his eyes turned towards the bowling ball. "What do you say we clean up the mess we made, huh?" He picked up the sphere, shifting to get a good grip on it, before throwing it up into the air. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

The Lucky Charm turned into a burst of pink light, which rushed out in a wave of energy. Marinette held out her hands as the light danced about her, and she found the soreness from the battle vanish as it touched her. It was a stunning sight, the lights flowing about them and the stadium. Withered grass surged to a bright green, and the fissure she had created sealed itself as if it had never been there.

She turned, watching as the ashes and rubble from the stadium began to rebuild itself as the light of the Miraculous Ladybug touched it, not even leaving a crack behind as it was restored.

"Beautiful," Marinette breathed out, watching as the rest of the energy swirled above the stadium, before flowing out across the city, hopefully to repair the rest of the damage Stoneheart had inflicted.

Ivan seemed to have no recollection of his time as Stoneheart, which probably explained the raw awe on his face, this probably being the first of the magic he had seen today. He rubbed at his eyes, slowly turning to look at the area he had watched reform in front of his very own eyes.

Marinette's gaze was drawn to the object she had broken, the paper once again whole. She picked it up, unfolding it as she read over it. It seemed to be a message from Kim, and she felt her heart twisting. No wonder Ivan had been upset after class, Kim had probably meant no harm, he exchanged friendly insults with Alix all the time, but for sensitive Ivan it was just not the same. She carefully folded it up, offering it to Ivan as she approached him.

"Don't let him get to you, Ivan," she said, opening her mouth to say more– before remembering she probably shouldn't reveal that she knew him or who had written the note.

"How do you know my name...?" He asked, and panic surged through her.

"I– um– it was in the note," she nodded towards the paper. "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have read it without your permission–"

"It's fine," Ivan muttered, turning away glumly as he took it. "It's no secret, I'm just a wuss like Kim said. I can barely say a word to Mylene, let alone tell her that I..."

"There are other ways to tell her besides words," she said, bumping up against him. "Songs, flowers, a gift– just show her how much she means to you."

Ivan smiled, though it looked forced. "Thank you."

"That. Was. Amazing!" An excited voice squealed, and they turned to see Alya charging up to Beetle, her phone basically being shoved into his face. "A real life superhero! Are you going to be defending Paris from now on? How did you get your powers? Gah– I have so many questions, um, er–"

Beetle grinned. "Don't worry, me and my partner plan on keeping Paris safe," he reached out, throwing an arm around Lady's shoulder as he pulled her close. She let out a small yelp as the sudden action, and Alya pulled back. "As for who I am... how about Crimson Beetle? Yeah– I like that. And the little Lady here is...?"

He turned towards her, and her mind blanked on what she should be called. Lady... Lady Black Cat? Lady Feline? Well, if he was crimson, then...

"Lady Noire," she decided after a moment. "You can call me Lady Noire."

A chirping filled the air– she was down to only two paw pads on her ring, while Crimson Beetle had three spots on his earrings. They shared a glance, knowing they needed to go now if they didn't want to detransform in front of everyone. Crimson pulled away from her, drawing his yoyo, while she extended her baton.

"Let's do this again soon, okay?" Crimson said to her, still grinning that grin, and he gave her a bow– before throwing his yoyo and swinging away.

She watched him go, before glancing at Ivan and Alya. He still seemed to be in shock, while Alya looked uneasy– which was quite different from her eagerness moments ago, but it made sense that all of this would be overwhelming. She gave both of them a nod, before vaulting away.

Maybe she actually could do this hero-thing.

-----------------------

"Mmmm!" Tikki chirped happily, taking a bite of the pudding Adrien had offered her. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he said with a smile, watching the news report about Crimson Beetle and Lady Noire. "My personal chef made it."

"And there you have it," the reporter said. "The amateur footage shows that the monster Stoneheart was stopped by what appears to be two superheroes– Crimson Beetle and Lady Noire."

He paused the TV, looking at the image of him and Lady Noire, his arm around her. He usually didn't think much of his public appearances, he just did them to make his father happy, but this was different. He looked much more relaxed than Lady did, her bright blue eyes edged with uneasiness, as if not knowing what to do with the spotlight. He hoped she was doing alright, she had seemed hesitant, but had really stepped up to the plate when it mattered. She had come up with a plan in just seconds too, and even though they had only known each other for a short time he was sure they were going to be good friends.

Friends. The thought sent chills through him, and he sat up. A friend– he may have not been able to make it to school today, but he had still made a friend! A smile flickered over his face, and his determination to make it to school returned at once. Chloe had helped him register, and he wasn't going to let their hard work go to waste. Tomorrow he would go to school, and he would make even more friends.

"Well," Tikki said, hovering next to him. "What do you think? You like being a Miraculous holder?"

"It's amazing," he said, smiling at the little kwami. "Thank you so much."

"No, thank you, Adrien," she said. "You're the one that went out there and fought, and that was really brave of you."

He leaned back against the couch, watching as Tikki selected another piece of food from the tray his chef had prepared for him, humming happily. He touched the earrings in his ears, wondering how he would explain where they came from. He had them pierced for photoshoots in the past, but he rarely wore any earrings on his own. He could worry about that later though.

Because for the first time in a long time he wasn't alone.

-----------------

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"It's gross!" Plagg said, crossing his arms.

"It's macarons!" Marinette cried. "How could you not like macarons? My dad made these, and he makes the best pastries in Paris!"

"Bleh!" Plagg said, the kwami sticking his tongue out in disgust. "No way, I don't want to eat any of that!"

Marinette closed her eyes. "Okay then, what do you want to eat?"

Plagg grinned. "Cheese."

"Cheese?"

"Yes, the finest quality of camembert– I'll accept no less!"

"You just want a hunk of plain cheese?" Marinette said, crinkling her nose. "You'd think you'd want a meal or something after that fight."

"Cheese is a perfectly balanced meal," Plagg said, crossing his paws.

"Who hurt you?" Marinette said in a whisper.

"Huh?"

"Surely you want more than just cheese!"

"Cheese is the only thing I want."

Marinette sighed, but hopefully her parents wouldn't question why a chunk of their cheddar was about to go missing.

--------------------------

"Nooroo, wings fall."

Nooroo was trembling as he came flying out of the brooch, the kwami struggling to find his balance in the dark room. This had been the first time he had sent out a champion in so long, and he looked at his holder fearfully. She stared out the window, her face as stern as always, the silence in the air palpable.

"Master?" Nooroo said uncertainly. "How do you feel?"

A smirk tugged at her lips, and Nooroo found himself letting out a small sigh of relief. Still his eyes darted to the brooch carefully pinned to her chest, before letting them flick back up to her face. He had firm orders not to touch his own Miraculous, so he remained there hovering in the air, white butterflies dancing around them.

"Citrine is a fool," she said, her smile growing. "He sends out the Ladybug and the Black Cat? The very jewels we desire? Tell me Nooroo, why would that old fool do that?"

Nooroo tapped his paws together, wondering how he should answer. He regarded his newest holder closely, who took on the name of 'Monarch' when transformed. He thought it was a fitting name, as she carried herself like a queen. She was smart, calculating, and her calm demeanor made for a good Butterfly. Still his worry was there, especially since she tended to keep herself removed– and as part of the Empathy duo that wasn't the best trait for her to possess.

"You are sending champions out under a negative influence," he finally said. "The Ladybug represents purity, and can easily cleanse the energy you've infused into your champions. I am sure its restoration powers also played a role in that decision."

"And the Black Cat?"

"The Ladybug and Black Cat are an Alpha Pair. You cannot activate one without activating the other," Nooroo replied.

Monarch let out a small chuckle. "This is even more simple than I expected. The very Miraculouses we need are the ones we'll be fighting. Granted this champion wasn't able to lay claim to them, but I'm just learning the ropes after all."

Nooroo hesitated. "You're going to send out another champion?"

"Of course," Monarch said, her cool gaze shifting over to the kwami. "Though I think we should talk to the city's new heroes first, don't you think? Give them a chance to make the right choice before we continue on fighting."

"I don't think that's safe, Master."

"Of course it isn't, which is why we'll send a champion to deliver our message," she turned, her heels echoing through the room, before she paused. "'Champion' doesn't really sound fitting for our purpose though, does it?"

"No, Master," Nooroo replied, drifting after her. "What you created was no champion– it was a devil if anything."

This wasn't what his powers were meant for, but at this point he was used to his Miraculous being used for selfish means. For nearly the last two centuries he had been passed from hand to hand, and never was he found in the presence of an honest and true holder. Just those who wanted to twist magic for their own gain.

"A devil, huh?" Monarch said. "Perhaps so. A devil, a little demon of our own creation– an akuma."

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busstop · 4 years ago

Text

youtube

Channel 4 News (UK):

Revealed: Trump campaign strategy to deter millions of Black Americans from voting in 2016

(Full documentary, 22mins)

"3.5 million Black Americans were profiled and categorised as ‘Deterrence’ by Trump campaign – voters they wanted to stay home on election day. X

[[MORE]]

"Channel 4 News has exclusively obtained a vast cache of data used by Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign on almost 200 million American voters.

It reveals that 3.5 million Black Americans were categorised by Donald Trump’s campaign as ‘Deterrence’ – voters they wanted to stay home on election day.

Tonight, civil rights campaigners said the evidence amounted to a new form of voter “suppression” and called on Facebook to disclose ads and targeting information that has never been made public.

The ‘Deterrence’ project can be revealed after Channel 4 News obtained the database used by Trump’s digital campaign team – credited with helping deliver his shock victory to become president four years ago.

Vast in scale, it contains details on almost 200 million Americans, among more than 5,000 files, which together amass almost 5 terabytes of data – making it one of the biggest leaks in history.

It reveals not only the huge amounts of data held on every individual voter, but how that data was used and manipulated by models and algorithms.

In 16 key battleground states, millions of Americans were separated by an algorithm into one of eight categories, also described as ‘audiences’, so they could then be targeted with tailored ads on Facebook and other platforms.

One of the categories was named ‘Deterrence’, which was later described publicly by Trump’s chief data scientist as containing people that the campaign “hope don’t show up to vote”.

Analysis by Channel 4 News shows Black Americans – historically a community targeted with voter suppression tactics – were disproportionately marked ‘Deterrence’ by the 2016 campaign.

In total, 3.5 million Black Americans were marked ‘Deterrence’.

In Georgia, despite Black people constituting 32% of the population, they made up 61% of the ‘Deterrence’ category. In North Carolina, Black people are 22% of the population but were 46% of ‘Deterrence’. In Wisconsin, Black people constitute just 5.4% of the population but made up 17% of ‘Deterrence’.

The disproportionate categorising of Black Americans for ‘Deterrence’ is seen across the US. Overall, people of colour labelled as Black, Hispanic, Asian and ‘Other’ groups made up 54% of the ‘Deterrence’ category. In contrast, other categories of voters the campaign wished to attract were overwhelmingly white.

The 2016 campaign preceded the first fall in Black turnout in 20 years and allowed Donald Trump to take shock victories in key states like Wisconsin and Michigan by wafer-thin margins, reaching the White House despite losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton.

Trump’s digital campaign, called ‘Project Alamo’ and based in San Antonio, Texas, involved a team from the now defunct British company Cambridge Analytica, working with a team from the Republican National Committee. Two senior members of the Cambridge Analytica team are working on the Trump 2020 campaign.

Cambridge Analytica collapsed after investigations by Channel 4 News, The Observer and the New York Times in 2018.

Facebook is facing calls to ban political advertising, following an international backlash over the use of its platform to spread misinformation, disinformation, and suppression during election campaigns.

The Trump campaign spent £44 million on Facebook ads alone during 2016, posting almost six million different versions of highly targeted messages that were pumped directly into the feeds of target voters across America, helped by a Facebook employee embedded within the Trump campaign.

But many of the ads were so called ‘dark posts’, which could vanish from recipients’ feeds once a campaign stopped paying for them.

It means no complete public record exists of the ads posted on Facebook during the 2016 campaign or the audience lists used to target voters. The platform offered no ‘Ad Library’ at the time.

Without Facebook or the campaign itself revealing the information, it means it’s not possible to ascertain exactly how potential voters in the ‘Deterrence’ group may have been targeted on Facebook.

The Trump campaign itself has categorically stated that it did not target African Americans.

Brad Parscale, the campaign’s 2016 digital director told PBS Frontline: “I would say I’m nearly 100 percent sure we did not run any campaigns that targeted even African Americans.”

But Channel 4 News has uncovered evidence that the campaign did target Black voters with negative ads designed to crush Hillary Clinton’s turnout.

These included videos featuring Hillary Clinton referring to Black youths as “super predators” which aired on television 402 times in October 2016 and received millions of views on Facebook.

In one confidential document seen by Channel 4 News, Cambridge Analytica admitted the Trump campaign did target “AA” (African Americans) with what it called the “Predators video” – spending $55,000 USD in the state of Georgia alone.

Reacting to the Channel 4 News revelations, Jamal Watkins, vice president of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) branded it a modern-day suppression campaign, using data and digital technology to keep Black voters at home.

He said: “The thing that’s shocking slash troubling about this is that there’s this category of suppression. That ‘Deterrence’ part. So, we use data – similar to voter file data – but it’s to motivate, persuade and encourage folks to participate. We don’t use the data to say who can we deter and keep at home. That just seems, fundamentally, it’s a shift from the notion of democracy.

“It’s not ‘may the best candidate win’ at that point it’s ‘may the best well-funded machine suppress voters and keep them at home thereby rigging the election so that someone can win’.”

He added: “I don’t believe Facebook has fully disclosed their role, and fully disclosed the types of ads that were run, who was involved and literally how they may have been embedded in, say, the Trump campaign to make this all come to life.

“Facebook is a very profitable platform. It reaches billions of folks every day. It doesn’t need this kind of money. If it were to monitor and check these suppressive ads and say this is not the platform for this type of misinformation disinformation suppression tactics, Mark Zuckerberg would still live well, and eat well.”

Today, a Facebook spokesperson said: “Since 2016, elections have changed and so has Facebook – what happened with Cambridge Analytica couldn’t happen today. We have 35,000 people working to ensure the integrity of our platform, created a political ads library… and have protected more than 200 elections worldwide. We also have rules prohibiting voter suppression and are running the largest voter information campaign in American history.”

The Trump campaign, the Republican National Committee and the White House did not provide any comment to Channel 4 News prior to broadcast." X

3 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 5 years ago

Text

SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results

The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses

Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)

The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger

I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.

This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.

The leaks didn't give this chapter justice

A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.

I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…

Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK

It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,995 Responses

There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.

A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!

as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo

It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.

For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER

I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses

Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.

Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus

Connie- the underrated suffer boi

Gabi best girl!

I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.

Reiner Best character 😔👌

SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM

WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses

“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.

Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in

it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude

I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.

I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.

I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses

Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through. Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.

"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117

Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again

Game over man

He's cute. End of the story.

I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan

I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???

Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert

I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)

Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying

Man literally too tired to die

There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...

He need some milk

Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses

Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that? About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core. 12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”

A bit too on the nose

Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere

Eren cant copyright this hairstyle

How dare she stand where he stood.

I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.

It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.

It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.

It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.

DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses

Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree? The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex. 3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.

But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112

EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.

I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.

I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…

I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.

In a breaking bad way, yes

Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.

No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses

Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...? The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict. 11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.

Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.

Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out

Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.

Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe

I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else

I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it

NILE !

In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails

There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.

Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses

Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.

Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!

Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.

Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.

Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.

Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.

I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.

I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.

I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?

I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis

I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.

I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation. He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.

REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses

More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.

Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.

My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!

Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.

Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die

I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.

I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?

I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite

It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke

My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited

TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses

A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base. Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box. 10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.

I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.

I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.

I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.

I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.

I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.

I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.

I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.

Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.

I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.

I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?

AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.

3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.

Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans

It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.

Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.

WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses

In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking. Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause. In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.

All of them were pretty darn cool

Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me

Hard to choose, they're all good

I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest

Can I choose all? Because I am.

It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.

Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose

Loved all the kills!!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE

THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses

Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).

Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.

Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.

gabi is good you guys are just mean

WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses

One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her? Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story. In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters. 16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.

Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue

gabi fucking GANG

Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.

Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.

Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.

Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me

i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.

She is the new MC now. Upgrade.

I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.

I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable

Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way

Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.

I’m tired of Gabi

Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person

I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.

yams wants us to like her more

She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.

I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.

Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.

Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.

Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence

Death to Gabi Braun!

I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters

She just wants to protecc

I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.

I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL

I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang

Me no likey bad bad

NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses

The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok. Who’s going to pick up the torch? There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.

A combination of several people noted above.

Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP

Anyone but Floch

Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed

Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress

Daz

Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.

As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility

Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.

Rico ;-;

Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.

Erwin

WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses

The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.

As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.

He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.

Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.

He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.

He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.

He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.

There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts

GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses

After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one? 62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards. Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.

Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?

At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.

I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence

I hope not, it sounds lame.

i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.

It's the ideal scenario I suppose

Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.

PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT

Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama

They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again

Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.

ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses

91 chapters. 91 Months. 7 and a half years. Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip. Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free! 33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again. 18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it. 15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds. 29% however: A N N I E

akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW

glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore

How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance

go back into hibernation

Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.

Hentannie

I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.

I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile

I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.

I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.

I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.

She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.

The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.

Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight

Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.

I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!

ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses

Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.

Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren

"Run"

Definitely try to get to her dad.

Try to find her warrior friends

Determine her situation and act accordingly

She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.

A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.

All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.

ANNIETHING

Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??

Annie will join Eren.

Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt

Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.

be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????

Change her clothes because why is she wet

umm take a shower lol

Character development and teaming up against Ereh

I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(

Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.

Go kiss Armin pls

I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.

Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.

Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.

I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.

She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.

She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron

Crystallize

Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.

Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.

FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses

Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.

Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy

the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)

one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses

The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.

All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV

I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.

Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.

I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better

Give me more Eren action pleaseee

So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?

I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!

Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content

I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!

I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.

Is there a Kiyomi option?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses

With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses

OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!

Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.

Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.

I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.

It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.

“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!

The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.

Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…

Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!

Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.

I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.

Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while

REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)

ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.

I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama! Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.

Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?

Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.

I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.

Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)

At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.

If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!

It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.

That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...

What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)

Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.

I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.

Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.

It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.

WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.

I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.

With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids

As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.

Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments

Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!

Eww Gabi-focused chapter…

I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.

Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)

Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.

Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that

Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.

I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?

I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.

Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.

I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞

I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time

I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER

i love my waifu annie i missed her so much

I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.

I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK! Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.

It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.

Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.

Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.

Less Gabi, more Historia!

Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.

Levi is the new Annie

Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).

My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!

Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.

The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.

Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING

Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.

What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait

Where is Levi damnit

#snk poll #snk poll results #snk chapter poll #snk 124 #snk chapter 124

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parkerparts · 5 years ago

Text

Christmas Chaos & Confessions

Parkner Week 2019 Day One: “Road Work Ahead” / Parades / Identity Porn

Read it on AO3 here.

Peter loved Christmas. It was probably his favorite holiday, although Valentine’s Day was a close second. However, this Christmas parade shebang was sucking away a good bit of his Christmas spirit.

“You know, I always thought Mr. Harrington was a bit odd, but I didn’t think he was cruel,” Ned said as he walked with Peter.

Midtown had a float for the Christmas parade but a shortage of students who wanted to ride it. Mr. Harrington, in a charitable act, had signed the entire decathlon team up.

Peter sighed. “Yeah, well, at least we get service hours for this. I still need, like, forty.”

Ned started at him. “Dude. You’re literally a superhero. You patrol almost every night. Don’t you think you’ve done more than enough community service?”

“I can’t exactly tell that to the school though!”

“Keeping secrets, are we Petey? Come on, fess up. Is it you who’s been leaving lipstick marks all over the bathroom mirrors?” Harley interjected. Peter felt his face heat as Harley smirked at him. He hadn’t realized they had already reached the Midtown float.

“Don’t call me Petey. And you wish.”

“I do, actually. Light pink lip gloss would really suit you.”

Peter, whose face was surely bright red by now, was saved from having to respond by MJ. “Your gay really popped out, Harley. Calm down. What’s up, losers?”

“We’re good!” Ned replied brightly. “Well, I mean, personally I’d be much better if I was asleep and warm than out here for this stupid parade, but that might just be me?”

A chorus of negatives responded, not just from Peter and his friends, but the rest of the decathlon team and an assortment of other students on the float as they climbed on. Peter shivered as the float started moving. He was wearing no less than three layers underneath the Midtown sweatshirt he had to wear for the parade, but the New York winter wind was biting. His inability to thermoregulate, a definite downside of his spider genes, meant he was still freezing.

Suddenly, he felt a warm, heavy weight on his shoulders, and he looked up. Harley raised an eyebrow when Peter caught his eye. “I know you’re always cold, so I brought an extra blanket. You’re welcome.”

“Thank you, Harley,” Peter murmured, pulling the thick, flannel blanket around himself. It smelled like the lab and DUM-E’s favorite air freshener. The familiar mix of scents warmed him just as much as the physical blanket did.

He felt like he could overheat when Harley smiled gently back at him. For a moment too long to be normal and too short to be satisfactory, they just stared at each other, smiles frozen on their faces, eyes locked on the other’s.

When Harley Keener moved to New York, he found himself a place in Peter’s life so easily that one might think there had been a Harley-shaped hole in his life all along.

Their little moment was broken by a sudden screaming in Peter’s mind to get down, and he screamed the words in panic just before the world burst into flames. He heard the explosion before he felt it, a sharp, metallic bang followed by a gust of heat and smoke that knocked him to the ground. Peter couldn’t see through the smoke, couldn’t breathe, and for a terrifying moment, he was fifteen years old again, trapped under a burning building.

Help, please!

The sound of screaming, Betty and Ned’s screaming, dear God, startled Peter back into his body. He gasped. Smoke filled his lungs, but he coughed it out as he stumbled off of the float and into a hazy alleyway.

Come on, Spider-Man.

Peter pressed a button on his watch. He and Mr. Stark had built it together over Thanksgiving break for emergencies. It housed a compact version of the Iron Spider suit that assembled around Peter in seconds.

“Hello, Peter,” Karen’s calm voice greeted. Peter would have quipped back a response if he hadn’t been too busy gulping in fresh air through the suit’s filtration system. “There seems to be a problem at the intersection of Main Street and Kissena Boulevard.”

“Yeah, I know that. Thanks, K. What am I looking at?” Peter scrambled up the wall of the nearest building and perched on the side of it, looking out at the street. The float in front of Midtown’s was on fire, and it was quickly catching, so Peter swung down as he listened to Karen’s report.

“Osborn Corporation’s float exploded. My scans show that it resulted from a gas leak. There are no deaths or critical injuries. I suggest we contain and put out the fires and move any civilians out of the surrounding area.”

“Any backup?” he asked, landing on Midtown’s float. He knew he should contain the fire first because it was quickly spreading onto Midtown’s float, but those were his friends, and he needed to make sure he got them to safety. He helped a squealing but otherwise uninjured Flash off the float as he scanned the area. Ned and Betty were already running off with a group of other students, MJ was helping Brad off of the float, but Harley was nowhere to be seen.

“Iron Lad is in the area. ETA two minutes.” Peter smiled beneath his mask as he shot a blanket of inflammable webbing over Osborn Corp.’s float. Iron Lad was a relatively new superhero. He had shown up in New York around three months ago in his shiny red and silver suit to help Peter out during a particularly difficult confrontation. Peter had called him his knight in shining iron armor.

Iron Lad was another teenage vigilante. He had described himself as a friendly neighborhood Iron Man when Peter ran into him on patrol the next day. Tony had laughed at that for hours when Peter told him. The other boy also apparently was in contact with Tony, who was frustratingly tight-lipped about the subject whenever Peter brought it up. Peter was grateful for the help. He swallowed his pride and developed a patrol schedule in coordination with Iron Lad, which allowed him a little more time for other stuff. Junior year was rough, and although he felt some niggling guilt about slacking off on his superhero duties, he trusted the city was in good hands with Iron Lad. Peter’s favorite nights, however, were when he would patrol with Iron Lad every Sunday night. They’d usually end by sitting together on a rooftop somewhere and watching the sunrise, despite knowing that they had school the next morning. They spent those nights stopping crime together, sure, but they also ate pancakes from iHop on their rooftop picnics and talked into the early morning.

One night, Peter had confessed his crush on Harley Keener. He decidedly didn’t mention his other crush on Iron Lad. In return, the boy had confessed his own crush, a boy at his school who was apparently a super genius. He hadn’t mentioned a name, though, and Peter hadn’t wanted to ask. It made Peter’s heart sink, but he ignored it and decided it was probably best if the two of them remained friends, anyway.

It didn’t stop him flirting with the other superhero to the best of his ability, but that was nobody’s business but his own.

“Great,” Peter said as he landed on the road next to Osborn Corp.’s float. “Can you find Harley for me?”

There was a heart-stopping pause before Karen shiftily replied, “I cannot—“

The rest of her answer was cut off by the panicked buzzing in Peter’s brain and the following explosion.

“Not again,” he groaned. The impact had thrown him against a building, knocking the wind out of his lungs. He leaned his head back for a moment as he tried to catch his breath and recenter himself. “What was that?”

“The float in front of Osborn Corporation’s was carrying pyrotechnics, which caught fire and went off. Iron Lad is on the scene.”

“Hey, Spider-Boy. How’s it going?” Peter grinned weakly as a familiar figure landed in front of him.

“Better now that you’re here, Iron Knight,” he teased.

“Just a little road work ahead, huh?”

Peter took the outstretched hand and got to his feet. “Uh, yeah. Sure hope it does!” He delighted in the sound of Iron Lad’s laughter as he swung away, the other hero flying right behind him.

Alongside the fire team that eventually showed up, Spider-Man and Iron Lad got the situation under control. While Iron Lad helped contain and put out the fires, Peter cleared the area of civilians and treated the minor injuries he saw. Some people with more severe burns and broken bones, he helped into the ambulances that arrived.

Finally, the two superheroes left the scene behind for the policemen, who would handle the legal side of things. They hovered in the air for a moment, Peter on a web and Iron Lad with his repulsors. “Good work, Spidey.”

Peter grinned. “Thanks, man. Don’t know what I would have done without my favorite crime-fighting partner.”

“I’m your favorite? Wow, I’m flattered. Don’t let the big man hear you say that. He’d get jealous.”

“I’ll face Iron Man’s wrath for you any day.” Peter said. “See you around, Iron Lad!”

As Peter swung away, he saw the other boy salute, causing him to laugh. He spotted his friends and the other Midtown students gathered on the football field, so he quickly dropped into a nearby abandoned building to get out of his suit before running over.

A cheer went up as they saw Peter jogging across the football friend. He suspected it had more to do with the fact that, with the roll call finally complete, they could all go home and be done with the whole mess, but it made him smile, anyway.

“There you are, Peter!” Harley cried, running to him and meeting him halfway. “Jesus, I was so worried about you. Where were you? What took you so long to get here?”

“I got lost?” Peter started before nodding to himself. “Yeah, I got loss. The first explosion really shook me up, and the smoke made me disoriented. I was probably halfway to Brooklyn before realizing I was going in the wrong direction.”

Without warning, Harley pulled him into a hug. Peter really hoped that he couldn’t feel his heartbeat racing. “I’m just real glad you’re okay, Petey.”

“Don’t call me Petey,” he grumbled into Harley’s shoulder. “Sorry, I lost your blanket. I’ll buy you a new one.”

Harley laughed, a rumble that Peter felt more than heard, and it warmed him to the core. “You’re adorable.”

“I’m not!” Peter cried indignantly, pulling away.

“You are,” MJ butt in as Ned swept Peter into a hug of his own. Ned and MJ both knew about his whole Spider-Man gig and were therefore much more chill about his late appearance than Peter. Well, Ned always worried whenever Peter became Spider-Man, but they had both seen him unharmed in the midst of the chaos.

It wasn’t like Peter hadn’t told Harley on purpose. He trusted Harley with his heart, but he just never got around to saying anything about it. However, as Harley swung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his side, Peter resolved to tell Harley later that day. He hated seeing the other boy worried, and he didn’t want to keep secrets from him anymore.

“Do you guys want to go get hot chocolate or something? It’s on me, since I made you worry so much,” Peter offered.

“As lovely as that sounds, we’ll have to take a rain check, Peter. It’s about time we started heading back for lunch. I’m sure everyone saw the news, and I let them know we’re both fine, but you know how they are. Unless you want Iron Man showing up in the middle of Starbucks to drag us both home, we should probably save it for another day,” Harley reminded him.

Peter pouted. “Fine. We’ll see you guys later!”

Ned and MJ waved them off as Harley and Peter started walking. Leah and Abbie had arrived the night before from Tennessee as soon as Abbie’s Christmas break started, so Tony was hosting a get-together lunch at the penthouse he, Pepper, Morgan, and Harley lived in. May, Happy, and Rhodey would all be joining them. It was a little family reunion for the holidays.

Peter and Harley walked in a comfortable silence. The bustle of the city, the wind whistling in his ears, and the steady drum of Harley’s heartbeat calmed Peter down. The last sound especially washed away the lingering panic he had felt when Harley was nowhere to be seen after the first explosion.

“I have something to tell you,” Peter said, suddenly, at the same time as Harley. They both stopped a block away from their building and turned to face each other.

“You first,” Harley said with a laugh.

Peter shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. You go first.”

“This is my first white Christmas,” Harley said, the sudden softness of his tone startling Peter. “Abbie’s too. I’m just really glad to be spending it with y’all. All of y’all. Tony, Pep, Morgan, Abbie, Mama, and you. You’re my family, and I just, I guess I’m just trying to say thank you.”

“Oh, Harley,” Peter murmured, grabbing the other boy’s hand. “You’re so welcome. We’re so lucky to have you here.”

Harley smiled and squeezed his hand. “Thanks,” he repeated. “Now your turn.”

Peter took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. “I’m Spider-Man.”

He opened his eyes to watch Harley’s reaction. It surprised him how passive it was. His face didn’t change, and he didn’t make any noise. If it wasn’t for the twitch of his lips and the knowing glimmer in his eyes, Peter would have thought Harley didn’t hear him.

“Yeah, I kind of figured.”

Peter stared at Harley for a moment. “I’m sorry, what? How?”

“Working alongside you to do vigilante work feels a lot like how we work in the lab and do school work together, and you have that moral goodness and self-sacrificing tendency of a superhero.”

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair. Wait, hold up. Rewind. What did you say? We do vigilante work together? Who-” It took an embarrassingly long few seconds to put together all the pieces in his scrambled brain, but he realized “You’re Iron Lad. Oh, crap. That’s embarrassing.”

Harley laughed and bumped Peter’s shoulder with his own. “Hole in one, Parker. I always knew you were a child genius. And how is that embarrassing?”

“Because,” Peter sighed, resigning himself to another confession. “I distinctly remember telling Iron Lad that I have a crush on one Harley Keener.”

At that, Harley had a more pronounced reaction. His eyes widened, and his grip on Peter’s hand tightened. “Oh. That’s right. Forgot about that.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay though. I told Spider-Man that I have a crush on Peter Parker.”

Peter let go of Harley’s hand in surprise. “I’m sorry, you what now? I definitely would have remembered that.”

“Didn’t I?” Harley asked, tilting his head to the side. “I remember telling you as Spidey about the time that you as Peter Parker bitch slapped Brady for leaking a freshman girl’s nudes and how that was the moment I realized I kind of really liked you.”

Peter laughed at the memory. “I do remember that actually, but you never mentioned any names, and I didn’t know what school you went to, so how was I supposed to know?”

“You’re a genius, aren’t you?” Harley laughed. Peter couldn’t help but smile.

“Not when it comes to you, I’m not. I never know what to do with myself around you, yet somehow I’m like most comfortable around you,” Peter admitted.

Harley smiled softly. “Back at you, Petey.”

“Don’t call me Petey,” Peter reminded him as he hugged the other boy. “In case it wasn’t clear, Harley Keener, I really, really like you.”

“And I really, really like you too, Peter Parker,” Harley whispered in his ear. They stayed like that, hugging each other in the middle of a winter flurry, for a moment that Peter wanted to last forever.

Then a snowball crashed into the side of his face, and Peter remembered that good things never last forever.

“Abbie!” Harley cried indignantly, tearing himself from Peter’s arms to chase after his giggling little sister. “You little gremlin, come back here!”

Peter laughed as he chased after the both of them. “Good to see you too, cowgirl!” he cried, stopping to pick up a handful of snow in his mittened hands.

Later, as everyone gathered in the penthouse’s living room to watch a Christmas movie, Peter placed himself in Harley’s arms as they sat surrounded by blankets on the floor. This, he thought, placing a tender kiss on Harley’s cheek, is my happy place.

#parkner week 2019 #parkner week #harleypeter #parkner #parley #harley keener #peter parker #fluff

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militant-holy-knight · 5 years ago

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The Rise of Skywalker Review - I Expected Nothing And Still Got Let Down

Warning: Mild Spoilers Ahead

Before I start the review, I really need to establish where I come from with the sequel trilogy: I actually moderately liked The Force Awakens when I first saw it. I didn’t like several things about it and as time went on, I found more and more problems with it, but I was willing to forgive them to see where the story would go next. I actually didn’t see The Last Jedi on theaters but for a reason not many expect - months before it’s release, I heard Rian Johnson claim JJ Abrams left no plans for the series, I made the decision to not watch it on theaters because I predicted it would have been a disaster. Series written by their seatbelts seldom turn out good, and even then I severely underestimated how bad TLJ would turn out to be for me and ever since then, the sequel series as a whole became completely sour to me. However, I decided to give the movie a chance after seeing the critical backlash against it, primarily by TLJ enamoured critics and see how much of an “apology” it really was.

If judged on it's own merits, Rise of Skywalker is a subpar popcorn flick which contains enough frenetic action to keep you distracted (think of Bayformers). The plot is super convoluted and filled with so much exposition that at one point, my companion asked me why characters are searching for the MacGuffin and to be honest I was unable to answer it because I wasn't too invested in the plot. There are glimpses of character potential but they are never really followed through like Finn (whose erratic character “development” reduced him from potential hero of the series to sidekick) or newcomers Zorin or Jannah (interesting backstories, but nothing compelling done with them).

As conclusion for this particular trilogy, its extremely underwhelming because an entirely new narrative was build from the ground up and few things established way back in TFA get closure. No one can actually convince me that Disney did actually plan this series out ahead and that they weren't making things up as they went along: case in point, Palpatine's return is never explained nor how he acquired this super advanced fleet and soldiers beyond the resources of the First Order (which were alleged to be limited to the Empire, yet somehow manages to build a star system destroying weapon superior to the Death Star). You’d think in a movie so filled with exposition, they would take the time to explain how he managed all of this because it’s kind of an big deal, but they never do - in fact, Palpatine’s return is offscreen before the movie even begins.

As a part of the Star Wars universe... This could be easily considered as much of an assault on it’s legacy that TLJ was. First and foremost, the Emperor’s very presence in this sequel trilogy is already problematic for rendering Anakin’s sacrifice pointless. That was actually one of the key reasons why the comic series Dark Empire that features an premise eerily similar to this movie’s plot received so much backlash and was allegedly one of the reasons why the original Expanded Universe had to be terminated. That alone is enough reason to be upset, but the movie’s ending actually goes the extra mile.

Despite critics attempts to blame “toxic fans” for forcing Disney to appease them, they hardly went through all that effort - all they did was an attempt to provide closure to the series after the catastrophe left by Rian Johnson, which was an herculean task to manage and one that in hindsight would have ended in failure. Many of the issues with the plot and narrative are the result of trying to fix Johnson’s atrocity and if anything TLJ is more to blame as to why this movie is bad, though it doesn’t entirely excuse it’s issues (like the aforementioned spitting of the OT/PT legacy). And let’s be honest: if Disney really wanted to appease toxic fans, they would have pulled out girls in slave bikinis like in Return of the Jedi in true lowest common denominator like a Michael Bay movie, don’t you think?

I believe that all of this could have been prevented with proper planning. Since TLJ, there have been many shifting narratives about how much did Disney actually plotted out the story from beginning to end - some say this is what Abrams wanted since the beginning (again impossible since Palpatine is never even hinted prior to this), others said Johnson disregarded him and did what he wanted to the point he didn’t even see TFA in order to make his movie, then Kathleen Kennedy claims the making of these movies are difficult because there is no source material (which is not only factually incorrect, but this movie lifts lots of plot elements from the Dark Empire comic like Palpatine being back, having ships of mass destruction in his control and managing to destroy entire fleets by himself - how much do you bet they actually came up with that on their own by accident??). We can only take so many lies. This cannot be the way they wanted the series to end and I am sure that certain people had specific ideas where they would take the series next.

Do I recommend the movie? If you loved the sequel trilogy as a whole, you will be satisfied. If you particularly like TLJ because you think that movie was bold, subversive or important, maybe this movie isn’t for you. I fear that as time goes on, this movie and by extension the sequel trilogy will become more negatively remembered as time goes on due to how much damage it retroactively does to the previous trilogies.

On a closing note, the lesson to be learned is that everyone planning sagas should not write as they go along, nor hand it over to people with no respect for your vision.

P.S.: for months I followed several leaks of the plot and even posted some of them in my blog. One of the reasons I was mostly invested was to check how much the leaks matched with the final product. I gotta say, some of the things ended up being more disappointing than either the spoilers or my own expectations lead it to believe such as the final confrontation. I may write about it blogpost in another time.

#star wars #reviews

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insfiringyou · 6 years ago

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BTS - Explaining our headcanon masterlist / headcanon universe!!!

Our full masterlist can be found here

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here:

RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook

Find out more about the headcanon girlfriend, their visuals, hobbies, interests etc. here

As our more dedicated readers will have realised, although all of our fics and scenarios can be enjoyed by themselves, the majority of them are part of our headcanon universe. This basically means that instead of writing BTS’s girlfriends in a vague way, we imagine them as fully fleshed out characters of their own with their own timeline in terms of their relationship.

We do not tend to write our scenarios in order which means that some of the fics which happen later on in a certain members relationship may be written earlier. We understand how super confusing this can be as a reader (hence this post). Even more confusing is when we write all member scenarios based on certain prompts, yet the timeline for each member is different. (For just one example, in the scenario ‘You ask them to make love to you’, Suga’s part takes place around 4 months into his relationship with Jeong-sun, but J-Hope’s part takes place 3 years after this as he has not yet met his girlfriend, Nana, when Suga’s scenario is written.)

I will therefore attempt to list both our original characters below and list key scenarios within their relationship. This means some “all member” scenarios will be repeated, as each member’s timeline will be different (to find the relevant part, just go to the member you are looking for and read their part)

As we update our headcanon universe, I will also update this!!!

(We really hope this makes sense!!! If not, please message us and we will be super happy to clarify for you!)

Contains spoilers

Original Characters

Ji-eun - RM’s girlfriend.

Not to be confused with the singer IU who shares the same name. She is a solicitor who has been married and divorced prior to meeting Namjoon. She is older than him by several years. He meets her during a business party and have sex for the first time after several months of dating (here). They temporarily break up five months later during a boat party (here) and, following, Namjoon questions the number of men she has dated to the other members, inadvertently revealing the number of people the other members of BTS have slept with (here). He personally, reveals he has slept with 5. They do get back together two weeks later (here) and (as mentioned here during ‘The Play’) and he eventually begins spending more time at her apartment than his own. (the events of “making a sex/intimate tape” and “you ask them to make love to you” and “A late night conversation in bed with RM” take place around this time.) Ji-eun does become good friends with both Cassandra (RM’s girlfriend) and Min-seo (Jin’s girlfriend) and plans Min-seo’s bachelorette/hen party (here) during which time she gets a bit tipsy and reveals some information about her sex life. Ji-eun likewise warms to the other girlfriends, as shown at Jin and Min-seo’s wedding (here). Prior to RM entering the military, they go on a double date holiday with Jin and Min-seo to Cyprus (here) where Ji-eun and Namjoon make a sex tape to give something for her to remember him by when he enters the military. Although she finds it hard with Namjoon being away, he visits as often as he can (here), though the strain ultimately takes its toll on the pair. During his final vacation from service, Namjoon upsets Ji-eun during a sex act (here), though later apologises over a voicemail, explaining how down he has been without her and with the added pressure of his uncertain future with the group (here).

READ ALL OF RM AND JI-EUN’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Min-seo - Jin’s girlfriend.

She is a Sales Assistant in a department store who studies Sociology at university. It is revealed in a later fic (here) that she met Jin when he came into her store to buy a suit for an award ceremony. She is several years younger than him and has never been intimate with anyone else. She loses her virginity to Jin after several months of dating (here) and often accompanies him to events and parties. She is familiar with Suga and RM’s girlfriend, having met them both at Supreme Boi’s boat party (here). Although she was upset to learn that Jin has dated more people in the past than she thought (5) (here), she realises that it doesn’t mean he loves her any less. She typically stays out of drama and plans on settling down and starting a family with Jin (as revealed here). Prior to dating Min-seo, Jin did have a one night stand with a woman he met at a wedding (here), but he wouldn’t feel the need to share this with Min-seo. After a year and a half of dating and a week after Min-seo graduates from university, Jin proposes to her (here.) Six months later, Jin and Min-seo celebrate their upcoming wedding with separate stag/hen (bachelor/bachelorette) parties that don’t go to according to plan (here). A week later, she marries Jin (here). Their honeymoon period is cut short, however, when 3 months later Jin is due to start his military duty. In an attempt to keep his new wife company during his time away, he buys her a puppy called Bomi (here). When Jin comes out of the military, he is upset to find that Min-seo’s sister has sold details of their marriage to a newspaper, causing a rift between their families and tensions with his wife. Min-seo is likewise upset and, on a double date holiday to Cyprus with Namjoon and Ji-eun, she falls ill (here). She finds she is pregnant shortly after and reveals to the other members during a group dinner (here). Shortly before giving birth, she makes up with her sister (here) and later is induced into labour since being overdue (here).

READ ALL OF JIN AND MIN-SEO’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Jeong-sun - Suga’s girlfriend

She is a Pharmacy Assistant and is around the same age as Yoongi. Several years prior to dating Jeong-sun, Yoongi had a six month relationship with a white Korean girl who cheated on him (can be read here) & (Jeong-sun finds out about her here) and two weeks before meeting Jeong-sun, he has a one night stand with the singer Shin Suran (here). He meets Jeong-sun when they are paired together during a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven (here). Although they initially do not get on, they quickly realise there is sexual tension between them and Yoongi asks her on a date where they share a kiss (read here.) Things quickly escalate when he performs oral sex on her during the second date (found here). Things become more intimate a few weeks later when Jeong-sun invites Yoongi back to her apartment for the first time and he fingers her despite her being on her period (here). Later that night, Suga discovers her tattoos and she realises she really likes him (here). Despite being close from an early stage, they wait a month and a half before having sex (here). Their time together is brief, however, as he goes on a two month world tour after several months of dating. It is during this time that Jeong-sun realises that, despite herself, she has fallen in love with him (as hinted here). When he returns, they spend a week together in solitude before he is due away again. It is during this time he confesses that he loves her and she reveals she feels the same (here). Despite their intense feelings for one another, spending so much time apart begins to take its toll. Furthermore, their relationship is mostly a secret from their friends (as revealed in the boat party fic here) as they are very private about their personal lives. Jungkook does catch them kissing passionately in public (here) but does not reveal it to the rest of the group. 8 months into their relationship, Jeong-sun has a pregnancy scare and takes a test which turns out negative (read here). The strain of their relationship eventually becomes too much for them. In an attempt to save their increasingly fragile relationship, Yoongi proposes to Jeong-sun (here). She declines his offer and they do not see each other in person for over a month and half (as mentioned here when they have phone sex.) The strain of the relationship causes Jeong-sun to break up with Yoongi, despite the fact she loves him (can be read here - bring the tissues!). During their time apart, before Yoongi’s military enlistment Jeong-sun begins to date someone else (Yoongi discovers it here). Although Yoongi cannot bring himself to start a relationship with anyone else, during the band’s tour in England, he and Hoseok have a threesome with a stranger they meet at a bed and breakfast (this can be read here) & the following month he has a one night stand with an African-American woman he meets in a bar (here). A few weeks later, Yoongi receives his military enlistment letter and, later that day, sees Jeong-sun for the first time in 6 months at the supermarket. Although they exchange some small talk, Yoongi does not reveal his letter to her (can be read here.) Three months following his military enlistment, Yoongi sees Jeong-sun at work (can be read here) and they agree to keep in contact. The following day, she calls him and they agree to go on a coffee date (can be read here.) However, their date has to be canceled when her boiler starts to leak. Yoongi manages to fix it and they almost kiss but the moment is lost. (here). The following week they finally go on their planned date and end up briefly holding hands. (here). A few days later, Yoongi visits her apartment late at night when he realises it is her thirtieth birthday. She reveals she has been feeling down recently due to her career and he ends up staying the night with her. Although nothing happens beyond cuddling, they do speak quite candidly about their past relationship and things becomes quite heated. In the morning, they finally kiss and after he leaves, Jeong-sun, in a moment of elation and emotion, sends him an explicit picture (can be read here). The following day, they meet for lunch and establish that they are willing to give their relationship another try. Although they do not feel ready to have sex again, they share an intimate bath together. (read here). Two weeks later, they have sex again for the first time since their break up (here), though they both feel pressure for it to be perfect. The following morning, while having breakfast in bed, Yoongi admits that he would marry her ‘in an instant’ and they discuss meeting each other’s parents (here). After Hoseok is discharged from the military, Yoongi organises a group dinner and introduces Jeong-sun as his girlfriend. During the event, they both reveal they are still in love with each other (here). A few months later, Yoongi finally meets Jeong-sun’s dad and finds out more about her family during a trip to Gwangju where they go fishing together (here).

READ ALL OF SUGA AND JEONG-SUN’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Nana - J-Hope’s girlfriend

Hoseok is one of the last members within the group to meet his OTP. He reveals prior to meeting her, to the other members, that he has slept with four other women (revealed here). During the 7 Minutes in Heaven party game at Supreme Boi’s house, the same occation when Yoongi meets his girlfriend Jeong-sun, Hoseok becomes friendly with the girl he has been paired with, Yu-jin, a friend of Jeong-sun (Suga’s girlfriend) (7 mins can be found here). Yu-jin is on the autistic spectrum and finds it difficult to meet new people, but she immediately takes a shine to Hoseok when he asks her on a date to the zoo. They continue to stay in touch but she eventually moves to China to become a Marine Biologist at Beijing zoo before any real feelings can develop between them (as revealed here.) (and also mentioned by Jeong-sun here.) Although Hoseok does have some sexual encounters, including him and Yoongi having a threesome with a woman they met while on tour in England (here), he is not serious about anyone during this time until he meets Nana after she has an accident and falls over in the park. He invites her back to his house to clean. They realise they like each other immediately and they have sex on the sofa (can be read here). Nana is a primary school teacher and around a year older than Hoseok. Although she likes him immediately, she does suspect he is cheating on her after around a month and half into the relationship when she reads a gossip article that confirms him to be dating his stylist. J-Hope, upset to see her reaction, reassures her this is not the case (can be read here). Nana warms to the other member’s girlfriends at Jin’s wedding (here), though their time together is cut short when Hoseok enters the military. During this time, she becomes closer to the other girlfriends. Hoseok books a short vacation from his service to visit Nana, though their time is interrupted by V’s girlfriend, Cassandra, who needs a place to stay following a big argument with her boyfriend (here). Later, Hoseok is discarged from the military and a reunion dinner is organised by Yoongi for him (here). A few months later, Hoseok and Nana make the decision to move in together and possibly adopt her elderly neighbours dog (here).

READ ALL OF J-HOPE AND NANA’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Angel - Jimin’s first girlfriend

Despite being a bit of a womaniser, Jimin reveals to the other members that he has only slept with three women (here). He does have an ongoing sexual fling with Angel, a university friend of Jeong-sun (Suga’s girlfriend) and the hostess of the 7 Minutes in Heaven party (here). Following the party, Angel gives Jimin a blowjob and, a few months later, they finally have sex during Supreme Boi’s boat party (as mentioned here from the POV of other people) and here from Angel and Jimin’s perspective. Although Angel studied Philosophy at university with Jeong-sun, they are not especially close friends, with Jeong-sun often going to events with her out of habit more than real friendship. Jimin has another sexual encounter with Angel when they bump into each other as the theatre (here), and he later asks her to be his girlfriend (during phone sex here). They go on several dates including shopping for sex toys (here) and one which the other members tease him about (here) but it does not last long. They break up at a party when Angel goes off with Supreme Boi and Jimin meets another girl, Ara, (here).

Ara - Jimin’s second girlfriend

After confirming that he and Angel are truly over, he asks Ara on a date to the beach (here). After several months of dating, Ara loses her virginity to him (here). Although they have a good relationship, Ara does occasionally become quite jealous when other women flirt with Jimin (as can be seen here). She also maintains a good friendship with the other member’s girlfriends (as can be seen when she attends Jin’s wedding here), particularly Cassandra who she knows from singing lessons. After dating for a year, Jimin and Ara decide to move in together, but the experience is bittersweet as it reminds Ara that her mother, who she lost when she was a teenager, is not around to see her happy (here). Jimin encourages Ara to pursue a career as an Idol, believing it is what she wants, and he uses his influence to get her an audition for a girl group (here). Despite not being a natural dancer, Ara’s connection with Jimin ensures she debuts early, starting in Japan (here), however her first album with the group also does well in Korea (here).

READ ALL OF JIMIN AND ANGEL & ARA’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Cassandra - V’s girlfriend

Unlike the other member’s girlfriends, Cassandra is only half-Korean. Her mother is from Belgium. She is one year older than Taehyung, a Fine Art student and a stage actress. Taehyung first sees her during a performance of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ where she plays Titania, Queen of the Fairies (as is mentioned in later fics). They have sex after three months of ‘dating’, although Cassandra was initially unsure of whether they were indeed officially an item as Taehyung never confirmed this (this can be read here). Including Cassandra, Taehyung reveals to the other members he has only slept with three women (here). Cassandra feels insecure when she meets one of the women he previously had a ‘fling’ with during college (here). The other members’ opinion on her is mixed. While they support her as an actress, they feel slightly intimated by her due to how controversial her roles are. She is the centre of our fic ‘The Play’ here. She does become quite friendly with the other member’s girlfriends, particularly Ji-eun and Min-seo and helps to plan the latter’s hen/bachelorette party (here). Despite being a fairly turbulent couple, they always tend to resolve any arguments. Their relationship begins to take a bad turn, however, when Taehyung sells his apartment to move in with her, something which she believes he should not have done. They end up pushing each other to their sexual limits, such as when Taehyung asks her to have sex with one of her colleagues, while he watches (here). Three months before Taehyung’s military enlistment, a sexual roleplay where they play Cleopatra and Ceasar ends in disaster when Taehyung gets too in character and ignores Cassandra’s uncomfortable body language. She is forced to use her safeword when he starts to choke her and she leaves the apartment in tears, heading to see Nana. (read here). At Nana’s apartment, Cassandra confirms she is planning on breaking up with Taehyung and has a heated argument with him on the phone where she threatens to phone the police and take out a restraining order against him. Despite himself, Taehying shows up at Nana’s apartment that night and, finding Cassandra to be asleep, gives Nana her house keys, promising he will move out. (here). A few months later, Taehyung sends Cassandra flowers to her dressing room, as he did on the day they first met with a note telling her that he will be enlisting shortly. Cassandra goes to Jimin’s apartment, where Taehyung has been staying since she asked him to leave, in order to gain some closure on their relationship before he enlists. She confirms that she is ending their relationship, though they end up having unprotected sex (here). Despite agreeing to keep in touch once he starts his service, she does not return his calls or letters (here), prompting him to beg her friends to tell him news of how she is (here). 7 months into his service, Ji-eun tells him that Cassandra is back in Seoul and pregnant. He rushes to her apartment, using holiday time from service, and discovers this is true and that the baby is his (here). Despite the shock of the situation, a few days later they both agree to raise the child together, despite being romantically seperated (here).

READ ALL OF V AND CASSANDRA’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Jia - Jungkook’s FIRST girlfriend

Jia, who is a year younger than Jungkook, is his first ever girlfriend. He believes himself to be in love with her and they lose their virginity to each other. Despite getting off to a good start, their relationship is soon revealed to be very unstable. Jia is quite emotionally manipulative towards Jungkook and often behaves in coercive manners when things do not go her way (here she makes him feel guilty for not being able to get an erection) and (here she deliberately pretends that he hurt her during sex to make him feel bad). After they are photographed together by the paparazzi, Jungkook realises his relationship is naturally drawing to a close (here). Following a big argument where he learns she has blocked his band mate's numbers, he breaks up with her (found here.) Some months later, he has a brief sexual encounter with his ultimate crush, the singer IU when they become trapped in an elevator together (here). The encounter cures him of his fascination with her and allows him to move on. He has a one night stand with an older woman who he later realises was a single mother (can be read here) and has a brief sexual encounter with Seo-yon during the 7 Minutes in Heaven party (here). She is a friend of Angel (Jimin’s fling) and a casual acquaintance of Jeong-sun (Suga’s girlfriend).

Young-soon - Jungkook’s SECOND girlfriend

Some months after the encounter at the 7 Minutes in Heaven party, Jungkook meets Young-soon, an administration assistant from a PR company who is six years older than him. He asks her on a date to a funfair and, although she initially believes him to be too young for her, she finds herself ridiculously attracted to him after he saves her from being mugged. They end up having sex that evening (here) and, a week later, she implies she would like him to be her boyfriend (here). Although the other members sometimes make fun of him becoming too domesticated due to her being older than him (as mentioned in the boat party fic here) and (’The Play’ fic here) he falls in love with her quickly. She does occasionally feel insecure about some of his crazier fans such as Seo-yon (here), but he always reassures her. She also finds that she has a suspicion of how unhealthy his last relationship was with Jia. Although he never speaks a bad word about his ex-girlfriend, it becomes increasingly apparent that things were not all well (here). After four months, he meets her parents (here) who greet him warmly. It is during this time, he realises he is in love with her, which he confesses to her a few weeks later, with her revealing she also feels the same. (here). Despite this, he does find himself in certain sticky situations, such as when he accidentally sees RM’s girlfriend naked on webcam (here). Around 7 months into his relationship, Jungkook drunkenly cheats on Young-soon with a stranger he meets at a party (read here.) A few days later, Young-soon finds out when she realises Jungkook had caught an infection from the stranger (read here) and, despite being heartbroken by his betrayal, helps him by buying a chlamydia test. A few weeks later, she calls him and reveals she needs time to think through the relationship (here). Over the following months, they slowly become close again when her car ends up needing repairing and he offers to drive her to work each morning (here). They end up having sex again, and, at Jin’s wedding, she confesses that she wants to one day marry him (here). A year later, her father suffers a stroke which leaves him hospitalised. Jungkook and Young-soon decide to move to Incheon together in order to be closer to her family (here).

READ ALL OF JUNGKOOK AND JIA & YOUNG-SOON’S SCENARIOS IN ORDER HERE

Other characters

Donghyuk - aka Supreme Boi. Almost a member of BTS and music producer. Mentioned in several fics as a casual friend of the members of BTS and Angel.

Ji-young - A friend of Angel and Seo-yon known for her orange hair (as included in the Boat Party fic)

We really hope this has helped clear things up a little! We will permanently link this on our MASTERLIST page and keep updating as we add new headcanon scenarios. Thanks for reading and for the continued love and support!!! <3

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