#this is like my first real angsty fic so i hope y'all like it!!

[shaynetopps]

shayne & damien | angel dust (read on ao3/ playlist)

Damien is in love with Shayne. He also kind of hates him.

[thewinchestah]

"Chega de Saudade" - Alastor X Reader fic

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader.

Summary: When Alastor breaks into the V's building seven years later he expects to find a lot of things, lot of obnoxious, enraging, tacky things. He did not expect to find you. The Radio Demon does not take betrayl lightly and you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to his worst enemy. Better yet, you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to Vox and Alastor finding out. The soul you sold because Alastor left you for 7 years. Safe to say, it's a mess. A pretty, angsty, dark and delicious mess.

Warnings: Alastor is in Hell for a reason,general hellish violence,general hellish creepiness,eventual smut, i carioca coded valentino bc i can and bc he is very carioca sorry everyone,blackmail, Soul Selling, author is really invested in politics and decided to micromanage hazbin hotel canon, Corruption, Extortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, but nothing too explicit,mature themes in general, canon divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Alastor gets insane in this one you've been warned, fear play, Possessive Behavior, posessive sex, big bad radio demon is gonna fuck up the guy who stole his girl and will make it everyone's problem, Reader-Insert,no y/n,no beta we die like men here, i feel bad for tagging vox in this fic cause i think it's a disservice i really hate him and i make it clear so vox stans be warned, it's hell i hope y'all remeber ethics are fluid, posessive!Alastor, unhinged!Alastor, Isane!Alastor

Taglist: honestly only my queen @jyoongim i have no credibility to tag anyone anymore after being away for so long. If you wanna be tagged on future updates just let me know!

A/N:HI HEY BUNNY ANON IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THIS ONE FOR YOU!! Hiii everyone guess who's back. I had this fic cooking for a while now, actually i had a lot of writing cooking but in a very Ao3 author fashion a lot happened. You see i was on this writing streak and then my 15yo dog died while i was out of state. I had to go back on anti depressants and take a sabbatical. I got a new puppy and she's the light of my life. Got super sick, won a horse show. My first plan for this fic was having the first 3 chapters done and ready for debuting together because i always feel i'm lacking when i show up with only one chapter lol. After a while i realised i needed to get this first chapter out too see the light of day if i wanted to write again so here it is. This fic is a bit different from my other Alastor fics and i have a rough outline of 5 chapters so i think this beast will be more than 20k words long for sure. I decided to get a little deeper into Hell's politics and all the "no one ever thought of using heavenly weapons against hell even tough Hell's ancient and the best worst of humanity and demonkind is here". I call that bullshit sorry i'm brazilian i'm well versed in shady politicians and shady politics and unfortunatly, dear reader, you are in for this ride too. This fic kicks off right after "Stayed Gone". Also did i mention i'm brazilian and that my works are heavily inspired by brazilian media. This entire fic was inspired by one of my favourite songs of all time "Chega de saudade". And let's be real, Alastor and bossa nova are the perfect match. So yeah, english is not my first language and this isn't beta'd so sorry for any confusion or mistakes. Thank you so so much for reading my fics and always leaving the most kind beautiful and heartwarming feedback. I hope i can still deliver a nice story to my darling readers.

Click here for my other fics.

CHAPTER ONE: chega de saudade a realidade é que sem ela não pode ser.

In the first year you were calm and collected. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he is gone. Is he even gone, gone? He’s coming home soon, you can feel it. 

In the second year you convinced yourself there were signs everyone explaining why he was gone and when he was coming back, you were just too oblivious to them before. But everything can be a sign when you are delusional.

In the third year you cried so much you felt you were constantly drowning. You barely left home and some thought you were gone too. Gone to him.

In the fourth year you finally gave in and took the deal. Lack of self-preservation and machiavellian schemes working together to create a trap for him. He would come home out of anger, ire. But you can't outfox the fox.

In the fifth year you decided to scour hell and beyond after him. You went to places just to taunt him. Paranoia became your best friend, blood sweat and tears as you repeat “This time it will work, I'm sure of it”. Can a lie be said so many times it becomes the truth?

In the sixth year you accept defeat. You buried him deep and went about like he never existed in the first place. Isn’t it mystifying how this city screams his name?

It’s the seventh year now. The alarm on your phone rings and rings and you feel like scratching your face off. It’s time to meet your damned executioner.

Rolling out of bed you open the curtains to let some light in. The penthouse from the V’s building has a great view of Pentagram City, looking down you get the feeling of dystopian sci-fi that is so characteristic of the technology district. Limelights, digital outdoors, and big opulent, oppressing screens greet you like a constellation of dead stars, long distorted from their original purpose and form. 

You follow processional routine as you get ready. Choose a beautiful dress, put on make-up, and do your hair. It all feels like preparation for a sacrifice. One thing you learned from Alastor is that appearances are the best strategy and you intend to greet your handmade battlefield like a roman legion. 

Alastor. Even thinking of his name hurts, especially today when you need to face the consequences of your actions, the consequences of his actions. He is gone, he left you. And now Vox owns your soul. You blame your fall from grace entirely on him, he forced your hand, he made you do it. Out of desperation, out of defiance, you sold your soul to Vox so he would come back and save you, so he would come back out of hatred, anger and ire to tell how foolish you were, how betrayed he felt.

Betrayal. Selling your soul to his sworn arch enemy should be treason worthy of him dropping anything he was doing to come and punish you, to address you. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him, proof that he still cared. That he didn’t just get bored of the empire of terror he fought so hard to build in Hell. That he didn’t, deep down, just disregard you like a shiny novelty, to be left when it got old. 

You dry the persistent tears that insist on falling with clinical coldness. You are past feeling sad now, you don’t even feel angry anymore. You are past any emotion really, you just want to get this over with and get back home.

You went about your deal with Vox in many different ways, sometimes you felt like it was a good alliance, a slap on Alastor’s face. A side quest to gather as much information from the V’s inner circle, a social experiment. The truth is, during these past almost four years you were a mental gymnastics pro to justify your new arrangements. The cognitive dissonance required to live with the decision of being forever tied to Vox was an herculean task and boy he didn’t make it any easier on you. He would never be as refined as Alastor when it came to torture but there’s something about the coldness and calculated reality of the television business that was it’s own type of Dante’s inferno.

As soon as he got word of Alastor’s disappearance the TV overlord was on your scent, and he wasn’t shy about it either. You dodged him and led him on for almost four full years before finally giving in, everything was more or less under control during the early years of Alastor’s disappearance. 

Until you saw the angel army leaving.

  Death and gore were all around you. The sky rained blood. You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take a step forward only to realize you were knee-deep in demon blood. Adam was particularly ruthless this time, he seemed to have realized the unbalance in Hell’s power structure with one of the most prolific demon overlord’s absence and took full advantage of it. You choked on the sulfur filled air while the portal closed and Adam threw a last middle finger at the Pride Ring. A clawed hand offered you support as you were about to fall, your heart skipped a beat, for a split second you felt elation. In that split second a thousand thoughts, four years of misery and confusion passed through your mind like a movie. You were sure this was Alastor, showing up after the unprecedented carnage of today’s reaping. With the next heartbeat came the delivery of the most cruel reminder: the hand reaching for you was Vox’s. Alastor doesn’t care about anything anymore, not even losing territory. 

The TV overlord was covered in thick, red blood and looked vindicated, a wide chesire’s cat grin on his face. Baptized in carnage, Vox had finally triumphed for the V’s.The V’s were now a force to be reckoned with in Hell, there’s no argument to be made.  A good chunk of Alastor’s territory was now under their control, and everything that came with it too. Including you. 

“My darling doe, be careful, we can’t have you hurt after the battle is won can we?” 

Darling doe.

You threw up at the casual cruelty of the name Alastor called you with such affection being desecrated by Vox. He still supported you as you spilled your guts, you’d blame it on the nerves, the adrenaline, the reeking smell of death. Not on the fact that you knew he finally won, that the thing that broke you was to hear your name like that, on your lover archenemy’s lips. After that it happened. You sold your soul to vox. Of course he coerced you into it, and you were so mad with grief and betrayal that you felt like betraying Alastor back was the just thing to do. Pettiness and paradoxical hope dripping from your lips as the whole thing was done. 

Every year this same flashback assaulted your mind as you got ready to meet Vox on the anniversary of your deal. It never went past the look you gave those pixelated eyes as he held you on that barren land, stopping right there when you made the decision that finalized your ruin. You still wouldn’t, couldn't face what really went down when you formalized your deal with Vox. Those memories were suppressed and tucked in under layers and layers of regret and self-hatred. 

You gave yourself a final look in the mirror. No makeup smudging this time, you were getting good at numbing your feelings. Just a few tears, no more sobbing.

The yearly meeting with the V’s after the extermination was the perfect cover actually, everything was done in a way that it seemed like you were all cooperating. After all, you did hold a very good knowledge of the inner workings of Alastor’s deals, subordinates and territory. You knew who the V’s could “call in favours” and how to keep the peace. Or as close to peace as peace came when an abrupt power transition happened in Hell. You were a valuable asset to anyone really. Articulated in politics, masterful at the art of persuasion, kind, soft, charismatic, assertive, all in perfect balance, and frankly, breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t without reason that Alastor fell for you and that you became his most trusted advisor. You and Rosie were able to conceal his absence and manage his affairs for good two years and the better part of the third without raising any suspicion. Of course, the bigger they are the harder they fall and now you were walking down the corridor of the V’s building carrying a bulk of important intel that would dictate the fate of the Overlord power structure for the next year, at least. 

The hallways of the building changed a lot since you first walked them. As the V’s grew in power, the building grew in grandeur. It was now an imposing beast, looming over Pentagram City. Modern corporate architecture that incorporated the savage capitalism of Vox Tech. Savage, cold, sterile, overbearing that’s how being inside the lair of Hell’s most up and coming trio felt. The tall ceilings and big glass windows were exactly what you would expect of a broadcasting network and silicon valley Big Tech company combined. As an esteemed guest, you got the privilege of staying in the coveted penthouses, with someone to attend to your every wish and demand. You also got an idea that Vox went a little extra with your treatment as a form of flirtation, he has been trying to convince you into moving in for a while, every time you stayed in, your usual penthouse had some shiny new thing that was  made just for you, as he repeatedly emphasized. 

This year’s token of affection was a makeup mirror-gadget-thingy, that looked out of a Totally Spies episode. You had to admit to yourself that this was way more thoughtful and useful than the gifts from the previous years. The thing was cute, practical and would come in handy, which was a big improvement. Vox had tried to sway you with all types of guns and high tech devices in vain. Well, there was also that embarrassing stance with the wire flowers with a hidden recording device. Needless to say that after that entire debacle Vox learned that he may own your soul but you weren’t a damsel in distress and you would reinforce your side of the bargain if he went too far. 

You reached the elevator and went in, pushing the button for your destination. 

The earlier you start this the earlier it is over, you remind yourself.

The panoramic elevator descended to the well guarded conference room, the guards didn’t bat an eye to you entering. You realized you were becoming a familiar face around here, that made you dread what’s ahead of you even more.

“There she is! Hello princesa, I missed that pretty face!” Valentino greets you. He’s the only one inside, sitting on the edge of the table.  Well, that’s unusual… you think. Vox was always the first to get to the post-extermination meetings, plus he always gave you a slightly early timetable so he could have some alone time with you. Something must be going on.

“Hey Valentino, it’s nice to see you too! What gossip do you have for me today?” you give your best chirpy tone to the love moth. Look, you know how bad Valentino is, he is despicable really, even to your standards. But ethics are fluid, to say the  least, in Hell. The acclaimed porn king was surprisingly engaging to talk to. He was fun and actually treated you like a person, which was paradoxical in itself, considering how infamous he is for exploiting and commodifying souls. You drove yourself mad with theories of possible agendas behind Valentino’s kindness towards you, but it was the simplest of answers really, for some reason Valentino liked you and he never denied himself of what he liked.

“You have no idea! We have a lot to catch up on, did I tell you about that bitch who was trying to spy on us?” a set arms gestures to you to sit down next to him. The next 10 minutes are spent talking frivolities with the moth. You’re not complaining, it's nice to get your mind off this dreadful day and you don’t get many. 

Valentino, as always, has a lot to say, little goes on in Hell without him knowing who, what, where and why. Information, gossip, rumors, facts, if a single out of context word can be weaponized  you better be aware that he knows. Pentagram city can be divided into districts and ruled by lots of different overlords, still, Valentino’s intricate web of influence and coercion stretches across all territories. Another poor soul manifests here and goes somewhere they should not be, talk to someone they should not talk to, discover something they should never know. All cases of “wrong place at the wrong time” are happily solved by a large sum of money from the moth and suddenly another thread is weaved into his web of knowledge, another secret  made his. Valentino doesn’t operate like most Overlords and that’s where his power  lies. He bribed and fucked his way into every major circle, every  overlord’s inner circle, Hell’s best kept secret. If you were anyone in the hellish afterlife Valentino either fucked you or fucked someone very close to you. 

Knowledge is power, and Hell’s gossip girl was proof of it.

You swallowed a lump you didn’t know existed, hearing the moth talk about how things changed in a matter of hours during the early post-war made you even more aware of the severity of the intel you were carrying. It was earth shattering (no pun intended) information. 

Angels can be hurt. Angels can be killed. That meant a completely different way of existing in the afterlife, if this information goes public, the consequences are unpredictable and dire.

You don’t feel excitement knowing you technically can fight back, you feel pure dread.

To be completely honest, you feel like these “news” are not really news. You were pretty acquainted with politics back on Earth and this whole “omg no one knew about this! even though this was staring us right on your faces! is total bullshit. Hell is ancient, the exterminations are not a new thing, and there are some pretty smart people down here. To think that millenia after millenia masters of torture and skilled killers never thought of using heaven���s own firepower against them is wishful thinking at best. Sure, maybe after a few generations most sinners, even those who have power, may have been kept out of the loop about the chick in the holy army’s armor… but not knowing this at all just feels like a pretty convenient case of collective amnesia. 

Convenient, that’s exactly what this is. It’s brutal, but that’s Hell. A scheduled massacre is a blessing to those who rule to maintain, reinforce and extend their power. And if you get lucky enough, empires will fall and you will make your move. 

Vini Vidi Vici, that’s all you need to know about how Hell's politics work. 

It’s true that with every massacre the Angel Army gets more and more brutal and unhinged. What was once justified as righteous mercy killings to stabilize the ever growing hellish population now is just a display of cruelty, these angels kill for sport. There have been rumors floating around of how the disproportional annihilation tactics are preparation for something bigger for a while now , and with the demonic royal families either operating totally off Pride Ring or being completely MIA, it is no wonder those influential enough are starting to get restless. 

And that ties back to your first point, the thing that got you picking the skin around your nails while Valentino gossips. There’s a reason why this is being revealed now, you know how creating a narrative works, a few smart words and ideas become beasts of its own. A beast of its own that will tear anything on its way with the right fuel. The V’s have fuel to spare. Whose interest is that this information stayed hidden? Whose interest is that this information was allowed to be shared now? 

Hell is constructed by layers and layers of complicated militias and parallel governance, each one a locked room of secrecy that is impossible to enter without a huge amount of connections and power. 

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And, honey, you should see me in a crown” Valentino wisely said to you once. He’s a man of many many keys, and right now you are holding the fucking master key under your arm. 

Speaking of Valentino, he notices that you dozed off and snaps his fingers, grounding you back to reality. 

“My, my. You must have extremely sensitive information today to keep you from hearing the nastiest, hottest gossip of the moment babe” He takes a hit from his cigarette, an elegant and sensual move straight from an Old Hollywood film. The heart shaped smoke rings caress your face and for an instant you feel hypnotized, nodding your head profusely. 

“But I already knew that” behind the rose coloured shades, you see a playful wink from his infamous red hot eyes. 

The porn overlord quickly snaps his head towards the huge automatic doors, that open and reveal Vox and Velvette walking side by side exchanging looks between them that scream conspiracy.

“Sorry about the wait, my darling” Vox purrs on your way, stopping behind your chair and placing his hands on top of it, fingers dangerously close to your neck and shoulder. He pushes your hair to the side and lingers there, on your neck. “but as they say ain’t no rest for the wicked, am I right?” Velvette takes her seat beside Vox’s empty chair, meticulously placed in front of you, polite pleasantries leaving her mouth. She’s still a mystery, you never know her true stance on you, she keeps you on your toes. Does she like you? Does she hate you? Does she even care? 

“If you say so, boss!” you give him your best pageant smile. “So, who’s climbing up the ladder of the food chain today?” You bat your eyelashes at him. Your performance begins.

“Aw baby, you know I love when you call me boss! keep talking dirty to me” Vox lands a wet kiss on your cheek and makes his way to his chair.

 Right in front of you, so he’s always staring at you, drinking in your every move. You cannot fail, you cannot falter. 

As much as you’ve gotten used to pretending, pretending you like the V’s, pretending you don’t feel disgusting inside for being here, pretending you don’t hate Alastor for putting you in this situation with a burning passion but still missing him so much you feel someday your heart will stop beating in protest to him absence, it’s still hard. Especially when Vox touches you. Your eyes focus on cybersharks swimming behind Vox’s seat and concentrate on keeping your awarding winning poker face. 

“This year looks really promising I will tell you that! The orders for both your weapons and tragedy porn cameras doubled since the last extermination! I will give credit where credit is due, that fuckboy Adam knows how to put on a show!” he snaps his fingers graphs, stats and footage appears on the various screens. But it’s all irrelevant, it won’t matter when you spill your secret. 

“Lot’s of veeeery interesting happenings but I thought this year we might… start differently. Let’s forget the profit talk for now, change things a little. Did you guys see anything out of the ordinary? Did something stand out?!” he spins around his Big Boss ™ chair and stops with his hand under his chin, leaning in to you like a schoolgirl with the hottest new gossip. 

“Oh! I heard things -” Val also leans in getting closer to the TV overlord face. 

Vox’s grin shrinks, lifting a finger in protest 

“We know, we know, you always hear things Val” he replies in a monotone tone

Velvette, who spent this entire time typing away on her phone, interjects 

“Look, don’t take this the wrong way girlypop” finally looking at you she asks, or rather, states the million dollar question “ but what Vox means is that we know you have something  big cooking inside those files, so let’s drop the bullshit and go straight to it” 

The doll puts her phone down, she knows how important this is, how this secret will probably dictate how things will go from now on. You can call Velvette many things, but she is clever and under all that attitude and posh accent lies a brilliant strategist. 

“Plus, we all know you are contractually obligated to tell anyway, so spill, and can make this quick and painless to everyone involved” 

Right, your cartesian, empirical proof that angels can be killed.  Caught on the scene of the crime with the gun in your hands. 

You don’t waste anymore time, the words leave your lips like you’re choking with the threat they present. You tell them everything: where the exorcist was killed, how he was killed, the golden ichor blood that oozed from the wound, where the body was hidden. Everyone is silent while you speak, even the mechanical sharks seem to have stopped swimming to listen. 

After that you don’t remember much more of the meeting, it felt like you took the backseat of your own mind, the overwhelming feeling of dread making you so out of breath. Something is coming, something fucking coming and you can’t breathe. Anxiety sets under your skin like a second skeleton begging to crawl its way out and you find yourself sitting in one of the lavish anterooms of the V’s building. 

“So, the cat’s out of the bag then” you recall hearing Vox saying when, as if on cue, a few moments before the meeting was being declared over, the emergency broadcast about the reduction of the extermination date from a year to six months was issued. You four watch the transmission and you wonder if that’s what it feels like to get the news of the end of the Cold War, the doomsday clock finally hits midnight and we are nuking each other out. 

Mutual destruction assured. 

Your mind wanders back to your life on earth, if life up there is better or worse these days. You died so young, everybody told you, your Untimely Demise a big topic of conversation that you yourself didn’t know much about. But nothing, nothing in all of your living years and your years from Hell to eternity could prepare you for what comes next.

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?” 

The news hit your ears like a tsunami and you feel dizzy. It’s easy to find a big screen here and you are running to the closest one before your brain can even compute the words. 

Alastor is back, Alastor is back, and he didn’t come find you.

The next sound wave is even worse, dragging you ashore to your feelings without any reprieve. 

“Salutations!

Good to be back on the air! Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast

Sinners, rejoice!”

This isn’t a prank, there are no cameras and a sadistic tv host waiting for your humiliating reaction, instead all pairs of eyes in Hell are glued to the screen watching as the two Overlords fight it out. 

Thus, no one notices how your entire body shakes and your vision goes black. It’s too much, and you grip the rails from the stairs that lead to the foyer for dear life. Your heart is beating out of your chest. No one notices how you cry, how you whimper Alastor’s name like a prayer, how the tears run down your face and you feel paralyzed. You want to run, a million thoughts per heartbeat making your head swim. The best you can do is collapse on the floor. So you do, you collapse trying to catch your breath as you plan your sweet escape, how you are going to Houdini yourself out of this situation right to his arms.

“Tune on in

 when I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run”

You want to kiss him, you want to slap him, you want to tell him how much you missed him, you much your fucking hate him. You want him to drag you to his rooms and make you pay for cursing him out. You want him, you want your Alastor back. You cannot breathe.

“Oh, this will be fun.”

and then all the lights go out.

There’s a beginning of an uproar happening, the electric building dies a quick and unforgiving death, demons run around and Vox is flying down the stairs trying to do damage control. But even he is failing to keep his composure, because he knows. Oh how you know too. 

Alastor is like a natural disaster, a shattering force that bends everything on its way with the sheer force of will. The inevitable reckoning that comes to your town, that judges and executes everyone that you love. 

And now he is here. 

You see the burning red hot pair of eyes first, their predatory gaze hold the entire room hostage, looking for his prey and then they land on you. 

The piercing intensity of Alastor’s eyes, the flickering reds of damnation itself, regard you with surprise, elation and something more. So overbearing those eyes are, they make you shiver, bearing the weight of his gaze that penetrates deep into your soul. Your soul that is not yours anymore, it belongs to the man he hates, the man he despises. 

The Radio Demon’s towering frame closes the distance between you two in five long strides, you do your best to keep yourself upright and not cower at the sight of him. He looks like Rapture and righteous torture, coming to deliver your setance. Vox knows his sentence is being delivered here and now too, so he runs, runs to you.  You feel static and an electrifying pull, metal clinking. A chain. A glowing blue chain on your neck and Vox’s pulling it tight.

“What? what the fuck is going on? what’s this?” snapping your neck quickly towards Vox you whimper, you beg. The few seconds you stopped looking into Alastor’s eyes causing seething rage inside the deer demon, ire that makes the room tremble. 

‘“Talk over the radio, that way everyone can hear, baby” Vox says straight at Alastor, like it is a shooting gun. The look on the TV Overlord is maniac, a sideway cocky smile that drips pettiness. Just because Vox clearly lost this battle, with all tvs and electricity on petagram city going dark, it doesn’t mean he can’t still forever tarnish this victory. 

Alastor’s demonform covers the already dark building in opaque, thick shadows, radio static picks up around the room like a tornado chocking the majority of the unfortunate demons that are still inside, in a desperate attempt to seek shelter. 

No words leave the radio host’s lips as he grows even taller, breaking the posh entrance of the building, debris flying down causing even more damage, the tall glass windows shatter in a million pieces courtesy of his tentacles tearing down everything on their way. The sounds of destruction and despair are loud but you haven’t been listening to the world outside you and your returned lover’s radio dial eye’s for a while. A doe caught in the headlight of his eyes the best you can do in brace for the inevitable impact that is coming your way.

In a flash of his scarlet eyes a fire ignites, the flames born from it are unnatural, behaving like a hive mind to kill and destroy.

 You always knew that facing Alastor after these 7 years would not be easy, but you never imagine your reunion like this, in the midst  of pomppeian fire, a wild raw power, the oncoming storm that is Alastor when he attacks. 

Vox knows this fight is over, his ego hurt and today’s accounts always written as a victorious comeback from the Radio Demon, nevertheless, between the three of you Vox will always know who really won, who drew the last card, had the last laugh. He did, holding Alastor’s girl on a leash because he owns her. The soul of the woman the Radio Demon dared to love is his, the man Alastor despises with a burning passion, and that’s enough for now. 

The raging flames circle the three of you and without much more flair Vox drops his act, your chain disappearing from your neck. You drop to the floor, branching yourself on all fours. You consider crawling your way to Alastor, so you can explain, so you can cry, so you can beg. You don’t know for what exactly you will be begging for: your life? his forgiveness? his punishment? you just know a lot of begging and pleading will be involved. 

But the decision is made for you.

“Run, run my little darling doe” Vox commands “Run and do whatever you need to do” 

You get up on your feet in a completely ungracious move and Alastor’s out of the room instantly. The flames never touch you on the way out, the outside world greets you: a cacophony of screams, sirens, burning sounds, the infernal orchestra that becomes the soundtrack of your life.  

“Oh, and by the way” Vox screams from the threshold of the decaying building “we just got news that your place on Cannibal Town got trashed by some wayward sinners during extermination. But don’t worry you can always come home here, come home to me!”

You do your best to ignore his taunting, and you pray to whoever is listening that Alastor didn’t hear it. But it’s futile, the pavement where he is stepping cracks a dark cloud of static and shadows trail after him. He definitely heard and felt the implications of these words. 

“Al.. Al!” you scream running after your lover. 

Fuck, you’re still in heels, and those aren’t your running heels.

Kicking the damned shoes off you run faster, you cry harder and plead faster.

When you lived, your life always felt a bit surreal, weird stuff happened to you that you couldn’t really explain. People always joked that screenwriters of your life were the most creative people alive, the thing that happened to you never happened to anyone else. You died young, with a big, full life ahead of you, but you took this as gospel to your afterlife, after all everything related to your death was a mystery to you. But the things that happened to you living or dead were a raw reality impossible to make up.

 The uncertainty of your death only fuels your resolve to fight for the life you found in the afterworld. 

“Al, wait!” you are starting to get truly desperate, you need to get to him otherwise you are pretty certain you will drop dead here and now.

 “Alastor please, please listen to me” your voice failing, you finally choking from the smoke, from the suppressed tears. If Alastor doesn’t hear you now you are not sure you can carry on after him, you’re too tired too scared. You him to save you like the damsel in distress you are right now so bad.

Alastor dramatically comes to a halt. 

“I. am. Not. Having. This. Conversation. Here.”  his voice is staggered, still. Filled with static and a murderous edge to it. His long arms catch your wrist and pull you close, flush against his chest, you almost stumble but a powerful arm around your waist locks you tight to him. 

It’s the first touch in seven years, your legs shake at the realization that he’s real, he’s here. You lock your arms around his neck, the familiar fabric of his overcoat, the soft strands of his hair, they all feel like coming home.  

Something inside Alastor snaps when he remembers, when he feels how small you are in comparison to him, only one arm securing you safely to him. Some paradoxical fight starts inside him, wild wild want, wild wild rage against tameness, the docile calm you bring whenever you are at his side. 

The world disappears for a few seconds as darkness engulfs both of you,  inside the black moving vacuum only the two of you exist, greeting each other in bloody homecoming. 

Alastor takes you back to the Hotel, landing with a low thump inside his room. For a second his hand supports the small of your back, preventing you from falling forward. After all it’s been 7 years since you shadowtravelled with him, he knows you are terribly out of practice. 

His consideration towards you only lasts this precious second thought, because he makes his way across the room, creating as much distance as he can between the two of you. Your touch disarms him, he is aware of that since the first time your hand brushed against his, the first time his lips ghosted on top of your knuckles. If Alastor is touching you he is extremely likely to get soft, to remember how much you mean to him, what you do to him, so he will be merciful. And right now the last thing the deer demon wants is to be disarmed, to show you mercy. He can feel your betrayal burning inside his veins, clouding his judgment with ire and jealousy.

Alastor doesn’t fight those feelings, on the contrary, he lets them take him by storm adding fuel to his already bad temper. That’s the only way he can face you now, that’s the only way he can make you understand. 

You don’t get any time to gather your bearings, from the corner of your eye you notice a forest. His room is bigger on the inside and has a fucking conservation area but that’s hardly the most pressing matter at the moment. The pressing matter at the moment is that you are getting whiplash from touching your demon lover for the first time in seven years and his subsequent refusal to touch you, stationing himself across the room to you.

Why isn’t he with you? by your side as you ride the shockwaves of today together? You are scared, but above all you feel overwhelming sadness. 

“How did it happen?” he finally snaps, breaking the deafening silence. It’s the first time Alastor regards you, directly, in 7 years and the weight his words bare is so heavy you wish for more of the silence. “Tell me, how did it happen?” his eyes are wild, dangerously close to radio dials. 

“How did it happen? You tell me Alastor! You left me, you fucking left me!” you wish you could be your usually articulated self, you rehearsed this conversation so many times in your mind and in none of them you started with such venom on your lips. But it has been too long, and maybe the poison from all those years alone and afraid beside Vox drips through. 

The Radio Demon sees the tears that fall profusely from your big doe eyes, and they sting more than an acclaimed torturer like him could have anticipated. Alastor finds himself still disarmed, because with every single glistening tear that falls he can see how hurt, how scared you are. He is the only one allowed to make you scared, he owns your fear.

But that’s the problem isn’t it? He owns nothing. Vox does. And that realization turns him back to feeling seething rage. 

“So my mere absence is enough to change your devotion? Is me being here the only thing that stopped you from falling into his arms?” more poison. By the end of the night you both will choke on it. 

“Al.. Al” you are sobbing now, your throat tightens and it’s hard to breath it’s hard to speak. “ I had to do it. You don’t get it, you don’t get it.” your voice breaks “hemademedoit, hemademedoit!!”. You swallow half the words, whimpering, as if you say it fast enough the action will quickly become the past, as if the memories won’t haunt you. And yet the memories flood your mind

A dim-lit room, the smell of blood and something burning.

“He is gone baby, and he isn’t coming back”

Electricity makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

A stranger’s hand pushes the hair to the side of your face, dread creeps up inside of you.

“This is the only way my dear, the best decision you can make” 

The same stranger’s hand grab you by the waist 

“I’m the only one who can protect you now, you know that right?”

eyes that make you freeze, it’s hard to think. eyes that make it hard to say no.

“If this is hard for you, you can pretend that I’m him” 

a wrong type of static pricks your lips 

“This won’t hurt” 

a shockwave hits your body and it feels like you are being split open

You have to steady yourself on the closest piece of furniture. You cower as the repressed memories from the night you finally gave in to Vox assault your mind, trying to make yourself as small as possible, like he is coming back to do it all again. Cries and incoherent words leave your lips and you don’t know if you actually said what happened or if this entire time you have just been crying. You entire body hurts as you hyperventilate “Al, I’m so sorry” you whisper 

That’s what undoes Alastor, you curling yourself in a ball, defeated and scared at the ghost of the man he hates. You looking away from him like you are undeserving of him, of his punishment, of his love. Like you are tainted. Alastor can’t make the exact words of your confession about how it happened, but he heard enough. Vox would never make you come to him willingly, Alastor knows that. Whatever Vox did - and Alastor has a lot of ideas of what he did - he will pay double for it. 

 Alastor’s blackened heart shatters when he calls your name and you don’t look up to meet his eyes, like you always do. He was always your lantern for when you were drowning. He meant to break you, hurt you like that. He just wanted to make you come to him, beg for his forgiveness, beg him to soothe the pain. 

“Mon coeur, my sweet darling doe you are safe” Alastor voice goes so soft it hurts “Don’t fret, it’s in the past, it’s over, you are safe with me now as you are meant to be” he coos.

Still, you can’t read your lover’s mind. So you don’t know his heart is shattered, you don’t know how much he loathes himself for letting this get this far. You are so caught up on your own feelings, reeling the rage and the memories that you miss the softness of his voice and his outstretched hard and you inevitably choke on the poison. 

“No. No!” you snap “You don’t get to say that. You have no right to say that!” you scream as you get up “I’m not safe, I will never be safe because you weren’t there to protect me, you promised Alastor, you fucking promised” the poison is now inside you, heartstopping waves of hurt consume your body and sprit. Right now the same burning passion that makes you heart beat for Alastor makes you hate him too. You were never good with ugly feelings, you always pride yourself for being soft to be strong. Your kindness and act of rebellion during the hellish reality you lived. You were never good with bad feelings, so you do something you never thought you’d do.

You shove the Radio Demon, that man you love so much it drives you to insanity. You shove him because the shame is too much, all the ugly feelings ball up inside, convincing you that you don’t deserve him, that you already lost him. And you won’t survive his dismissal. 

You never talked back to him, you never raised your voice. Not because you were afraid to, but because you never had to, hence the reason why Alastor is so taken aback that your pitiful attempt of violence actually moves him from where he was standing. 

Alastor shoves you back, pushing you up against the wall with a searing kiss. He kisses you like you are his last chance at salvation, like he wants to be redeemed. He licks your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing his hips hard against your core, making you straddle him. Alastor doesn’t grant you a moment of reprieve, his lips come crashing down on yours again, his tongue inside your mouth dancing to a madman’s tune. He does what he does best, he takes and takes and takes. He takes your breath away, he takes all the callous words that threaten to leave your lips, aimed at him. 

You succumb to your demon lover, your nails dig into his skin and he moans inside your mouth, he bites your lips enough to draw blood. In the end Alastor is still Alastor, and of course he gets all hot and bothered when fighting. You feel delirious with the taste of his lips, your blood and your salty tears mixing together, an unholy ambrosia. His hardness press just the right way to make you sing creating a current of desire after a seven year long drought. 

His hands are quick, ridding up your shirt making he grab your ass and then your hips, strong enough to bruise. His clawed finger is already tweaking your nipple that way he knows you love. Your bravado melts, in perfect synchrony to when he sinks his teeth deep into your neck, drinking everything: that wretched poison that tarnished your words, the sacred warmth of your blood. You moan his name like a prayer that he promptly answers, he’s kissing you like a drowning man again, your blood on his lips painting your lips red like you both just drank from the holy grail, his hand cups your other breast and you vow to never speak to him like that again, only if it’s gonna get you up against the wall like that with him. 

And then he stops. 

“I hope this kiss haunts you” he says, voice still drunk with desire, low and threatening. He swiftly moves you off him, walking away and creating the same distance from when this all started “haunts your every breath, finds its way inside your every waking moment until you are mad with regret” 

You are bewildered, eyes widening in disbelief. What is he doing? How can he go from 0 to a 100 so fast? 

“I hope this kiss haunts you, so you never forget that you were the only woman who ever had me at the palm of her hand and you decided to throw it all away with that calamitous cynicism of yours.” 

So that’s what’s happening. You can never expect to beat a master at his own game, Alastor is still cruel when he is merciful. When push comes to shove he will always win. There’s only so far you can get with taunting his repentance,  playing with his heart laid bare at your feet, filled with sorrow and begging for forgiveness. He was ready to apologize, to dry your tears and soothe your fears, worshiping your delicious body and the ground you walked on. He was ready to admit that this was half his fault until your venom stung him beyond the realm of spoken word. 

“I understand it now, it must be hard for you to cope with your own decisions, your own failings, so you take it all on me. I hope you remember this when you come back to beg, on your knees for my forgiveness. And trust me, you will.” Of course Alastor would torture you with the knowlodge of his guilt and despair, the loss of his benevolence, the promise of desire and carnality. He will always be a torturer at heart, and you forgot that’s the first rule you need to always remember when dealing with him. 

“You’ve got your demons darling” never was your precious pet name said with such disdain. Static starts to gather around you, and in a flash his hand is on your neck

“and they all, Look. Like. Me” his voice is distorted when he finishes cursing you, there’s a tempest behind his eyes that entraps you, the burning red of his irises condemn you. 

The Radio demon is a raging fire, an oncoming storm. But he is also meticulous, cruel and calculating, if you dared to question him, to step on the grace he gladly gave you, you clearly were aware of everything he did to lull his absence. All the plans and contingencies he made to hush your worrying thoughts about him and bathe your threshing heart on tranquiline waters.

And you decided to mock it. To mock him and his love for you. 

You are crying again, but this time Alastor is fucking glad he was the one to hurt you, to reduce you to a mess of regret and tears. 

Tonight in Hell, power shifts from one Overlord to another. Sinners plan and freak out accordingly.

 But their machinations are all meaningless. 

The 7 years you spent away from Alastor made you sad, the three years spent on Vox’s side made you bitter. The V’s operate on poison, it’s their fuel. And maybe the poison drips through.

Tonight you drank the poison and it broke you.

Tonight, for the first time, the poison broke Alastor too.

[hastalavistabyebye]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you for the tag @hopefullyakotelife and @ninjababypowpow <3 love you muchos

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17

2. What's your A03 word count?

33,786

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars the clone wars

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Promotion

Our deepest condolences

Just this once

A fox somewhere is hiding

Try again

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do because the least I can do is thank people who comments. But it's harder lately to find the energy so I take quite some time x'D

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angsties ending?

But we can't save you, hands down. It's the only one without any tidbit of hope at the end.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that's way harder... I'll say it's The Promotion

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'm too small and too niche a writer to get hate. The worst I got was someone deeply confused and disappointed by Try again. Which really is fair as hell since I went heavy on the meta stuff and games with the fourth wall there.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I don't. Maybe one day I'll try but as of now I'm not particularly interested in it not do I know how I'll even write it.

10. Do you write cross overs? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't but if I have a crossover idea one day, I'll absolutely go for it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really ?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

I'm way too much of a multishipper to have an otp. I can be convinced for any and every ship with just a great fic or someone passionated enough about it. Even ships I wasn't particularly or at all interested in, or that I didn't even like at all at first. It happened many times already x'D

But lately I've been looking more for Fox/other clone(s). And my homemade rarepairs have a special place in my heart of course.

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever wilI?

My bigger, longer projets are going to be hard but I refuse to not finish them (even if I don't even have the first chapter finished for any of them TT^TT). So most likely Shebse batch real face. I think that one kinda burned on the back burner x'D if I get the motivation tho I would love to finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm really bad at having an objective critical opinion on my skills but I really like how easily I can switch genres and writing styles.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Most likely passing. And well the longer the story, the harder it'll be to write for me, in general x'D that's when passing becomes difficult as well

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Here for it, absolutely. It gives lots of depth to worldbuilding. But translation is a must.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the clone wars xD

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh that's just evil. All of them are my babies !! But I'd say the Weaving like red strings series because it kinda became my comfort au to write in.

NPT : @cookiemonsterv3 @stardustloki @here-be-bec @ithillia @whiskygoldwings @rooksunday @mamuzzy-creates-stuff and @brokenphoenix99 if y'all want <3

[kim-ruzek]

Lost in Translation

Part one

Summary: All Adam ever seems to hear is Kim talking about Roman. In Molly’s, in the locker room, when he’s just walking through the district. All he ever hears is Kim making comments about Roman, about their relationship, about all the domestic elements of their life.

And it's killing him.

Or; Obliviousness, a game of telephone and a healthy dose of gossip leads to miscommunication... Miscommunication that just may lead Adam and Kim back together.

Set in S3, post break-up AU.

Word Count: 3k words

Read on AO3

Notes: This fic very much spawned from a cracky idea, so while it may seem angsty (and it is), it is primarily a fic that is rooted in humour. It is also a two part fic, this is part one, as it works better that way. It is also my first (posted) burzek multi-chapter, technically.

I first created this idea back in 2021, so I'm very happy I've finally written it and I hope y'all enjoy! 💖

Adam knew something was up with Kim and Roman.

That something was different, a difference that occurred after his engagement to Kim imploded and Adam isn’t stupid enough to not know that the difference most likely was because of said implosion. He may have been stupid enough to not realise Kim was slipping from his fingertips, that the fighting they had been doing wasn't only a rut, but he’s still a good cop and a good cop notices things.

His mind hadn’t wanted to go there; it rebelled at the very notion. But his eyes kept betraying him, pointing out all the ways they seemed to be closer, all the ways Roman was intruding in Kim’s personal space, and all the ways Kim didn’t seem to mind.

He chose not to dwell on it, or rather he tried, hard, not to—and was mostly successful, except for the dead of night when his bed felt so, so empty without her warmth snuggled beside him and there was no case or alcohol to distract him and occupy his mind with thoughts of literally anything else.

But he knew. He knew.

So when Adam heard that Roman suddenly went on furlough, and that he wouldn’t be coming back, that he had transferred, again, to yet another district, he had been immediately curious. Of course, he wasn’t allowed to ask Kim about it himself, but he could linger around corners and the locker room, acting like he was absorbed in something else, all while he listened to others asking.

All Kim said to anyone—even Kev—was that Roman needed a change of scenery, and she always said it so clipped, so final, making it clear she wasn’t engaging in any gossip. It’s something that would usually leave Adam feel a swell of pride for his girl, being so polite and tactful, but she’s not his girl, and it only made him feel mildly frustrated as he wanted to know why Roman left.

Naturally, Platt was no help either.

With no answers, Adam had made his own. He had decided that whatever was the thing happening between them, whatever that difference was, it had ended, been disconnected. And that was satisfactory enough for Adam—and a little bit of an ego booster, if he was honest.

But then it happened.

Adam was minding his own business in the locker room—for real, this time—getting changed before he headed to Molly’s when he overheard Kim talking to one of the other officers. It’s his fault, really. His ears are still trained to immediately zone in and listen whenever he hears her beautiful voice, even months after she broke his heart.

From context, Adam quickly got that the officer asked if Kim was joining them in Molly’s. Usually, he’d be crushed at her not going, always liking to catch a glimpse of her there even as she steadfastly ignored him. But this time, that’s not what crushed him.

“I can’t,” Kim said. “I have to get home. I’ve got a date planned for cuddles on the couch; Roman is still adjusting to the move,”

Adam’s heart had stopped.

He’s a good cop, but even an idiot could guess what had recently transpired in Kim’s life hearing that. Roman—he was living with Kim.

And Kim was having dates with him.

That’s when Adam realised he had gotten it all wrong; Roman hadn’t transferred because things between them had fizzled—but because he was dating Kim, because he was living with Kim.

Adam didn’t go to Molly’s that night. He still drank, but it was very much drinking to be alone, in the darkness, not amongst his colleagues.

Any hope that Adam had about him misunderstanding what he overheard evaporated only a few nights after. He was in Molly’s, and at some point Kim had turned up to, and when he was grabbing a beer, his ears betrayed him again and he tuned into her saying that “she had to leave,” that “she had a date with her boyfriends, Roman, Ben and Jerry,”

Despite having learnt already that Kim was living with Roman—living with him, when they never even got to live in a place that was theirs together—Adam hadn’t been prepared to hear the first time Kim referred to another man as her boyfriend.

Adam had an early night, too, that night. But his was a lot more miserable than hers was.

Kim had moved on. There was officially no hope for them.

After this, all Adam ever seems to hear is Kim talking about Roman. In Molly’s, in the locker room, when he’s just walking through the district. All he ever hears is Kim making comments about Roman, about their relationship, about all the domestic elements of their life.

And it's killing him.

He’s handing Platt some paperwork about his expenses when he overhears Kim talking with other officers about grabbing lunch. Someone suggests sushi, and Kim immediately groans.

“Ugh, no, pass, please. All I’ve been cooking recently is fish for Roman, and I’m officially sick of the sight of any seafood. Especially with how Roman eats it, I think he’s put me off fish for a lifetime.”

And he’s in the locker room, in the morning, getting ready for work when he hears Kim come in, chatting away with another officer—her replacement for Roman, he thinks, not that he’s been able to ask. Not when she’s avoiding him like he’s got the plague and not when he doesn’t know if he could get through a conversation with her without his heart literally breaking in two.

“And oh my god, the bathroom! I swear I’m having to clean it so much which I know I signed up for but he makes such a mess in there. And he always seem to want to pee right as I’m showering—no matter the time. It’s not even just that, it’s so much hair. You wouldn’t think that Roman would shed that much hair,” Kim sounds so frustrated, and Adam hates how much that hurts him, even though she’s venting about her new boyfriend.

“Typical man,” the other officer says, and the two of them burst out laughing, hard, for a reason that Adam doesn’t quite get. And it’s just another reminder that Kim has jokes now that he’ll never know, that it’s Roman’s privilege now to have that view into Kim’s world.

All these little moments that Adam overhears, they all hurt him. Deep, in an aching kind of way that he never thought he’d feel, a way he never knew was possible, a way that he never experienced when his previous engagements ended.

But the one that hurt him the most was another conversation he overheard in Molly’s. Kim is already in the bar when Adam gets there and if he hadn’t walked in with the rest of the unit, he might’ve been tempted to walk right back out. But he had, so he stayed, instead telling himself that he’ll stay way clear of her—he needs to give his liver a rest, after all.

His one consolation is Kevin, who shoots him an understanding look, clocking Kim as well. Things had been distant between those two, as well; Kevin had felt a bit upset at hearing about Kim and Roman through the district grapevine, and from what Kev had told him, which granted isn’t much, Kim had all but dismissed these feelings when he asked her about it.

If Adam’s honest, it doesn’t sound like something Kim would do, but then he didn’t think dating Roman would be something Kim would do, so what does he know? And he knows Kevin well enough to know his hurt is real.

It probably would’ve been fine, had Adam not needed to go take a piss. He was actually enjoying himself with his unit, so much that for a moment he got wrapped up in the fun he temporarily forgot that Kim is also in the bar. And that in order to get to the toilets, he had to go past where Kim sat.

“Partners... The wrong one can be so detrimental to everything, both personally and professionally.” It is busy in Molly’s, and so Adam was moving carefully, winding through the crowd and is unable to speed up to put as much distance between them as soon as he hears Kim’s voice and he remembers.

“Like my ex partner, he was just so wrong for me. His attitudes, the way he spoke to and about me and how he acted about my role, like I was beneath him? His opinions and wants was the most important and that was that. A partner to be good needs to support you, and help you accomplish what you need to, not dismiss your own dreams, especially your professional ones. But my partner now? Completely perfect for me, and that makes all the difference.”

There are times Adam wishes there is an off switch to his ears, and this is the only time he would be truly glad if that was the case. He couldn’t help listening to Kim speak, despite the noisiness of the bar, despite the obvious signs at the start of the sentence that it could be potentially devastating for him.

He had thought the moment when Kim handed him back her ring would be the most devastating moment of his life.

How very stupid of him indeed.

Adam knew, obviously, that Kim was unhappy with their relationship. She wouldn’t have ended it otherwise. And he knew that he wasn’t always the best—missing the dinner with her mom was a fine example of how he could fuck up. But he hadn’t quite realised that she felt like that, that she thought he was like that.

And suddenly all Adam could do was doubt himself, thinking back on things and wondering is that really how he acted? Is he really such a fuck up that he made Kim feel like he didn’t value her, respect her? That he dismissed her dreams and didn’t support her?

Adam feels sick, and he knows that he’ll be leaving the bar, now, even though just five minutes ago he thought he’d be here at least half an hour longer. That he’ll say goodbye to the team and head home—just as soon as he convinces himself to go back out to the bar, to leave the toilets. It’s a challenge to get his feet moving, standing immobile, unable to bear the thought of walking past Kim again.

He manages to, mostly spurred on by another man entering the toilets and Adam became so aware at how weird he would seem if he just remained frozen on one spot there. He hoped that maybe he wouldn’t hear anymore as he passed by again, but isn’t that lucky.

Even more unluckily, it seems that Kim is once again getting ready to leave the bar and Adam realises that if he just stayed in the toilets for one more minute, he would’ve been free of his hell. But he chose to leave, then, and as a result he gets to hear Kim say another thing that devastates him to his core.

“I’ll see you around. Good luck with everything,” Kim is saying as he draws near. “Now, I’ve got to get back to the love of my life,”

It is really credit to himself, and his dignity—what’s left of it, anyway—that Adam doesn’t fall to the ground right then and there, Kim’s words faltering him in his steps.

It’s not even the words. Well, not only the words.

But it’s how she says it. There’s a hint of humour to her voice, but there’s a certainty. That it’s like she’s just saying any old fact, that it is just the truth, and she’s just stating something so big like it’s something casual—because, in her life, as far as she’s concerned, it is.

The words haunt Adam for the rest of the night, going round and round in his head. He remembers all the times she said those words to him; whispered to him in their dead of night talks, casually said it over breakfast, or at a dinner with Kev. Remembered the time she stared at her ring for the one of the first times, and told him that, told him that she was so happy—happy because the love of her life wanted her just as much she wanted him.

How could it be that only six months after they broke up, that she had moved on so fast? That she had discovered that Adam was just a footnote in her life, and not one who’d have her heart forever?

But, of course, Adam knew how. He heard how from Kim’s mouth that same night; heard how she saw their relationship, saw him, and even though it confuses Adam, because surely, surely he wasn’t that bad, that doesn’t really matter. That’s how she felt during their relationship, and that’s exactly why she left him, exactly why Adam’s not the love of her life anymore, and why Roman is.

Adam had already been trying to stay clear of Kim’s path, out of respect for her wishes as well as preservation for his own heart, but after that night in Molly’s, he really starts avoiding her. If anyone notices, they choose not to comment on it, something which Adam deeply appreciates.

He doesn’t even wonder if Kim notices, knowing that she’s moved on, that he’s probably the person she least wants to think about and knowing that if she does, she’s probably glad—happily living her life with Roman, and glad there’s no lingering ex-fiancé hanging around her.

His avoidance amps up two months later when they hear word of a cop being shot in another district—and that the cop is Roman. There’s nothing Adam wants even less then seeing a distraught looking Kim, knowing that it will be because of her new partner, her new boyfriend, knowing that she’d be hurting over a man who gets to love her in the way he so, so wishes he still was allowed to.

Adam thinks the sight of it might actually be what kills him.

This includes not going to Molly’s, not wanting to run into her, not wanting to have to say his sympathies—or having to be the kind of man who can’t get past his own feelings to even choke out the words—and rather, not wanting to go and not see her and knowing it’s because she’s at his bedside.

And nothing makes cops group together like the one, big family they are like an officer getting injured and Adam heard words of everyone going to Molly’s because of the shooting and he knew he isn’t strong enough for that.

So Adam doesn’t go to Molly’s, and when he has some days off a week or so after the shooting, Adam stays in his apartment the entire time, even if before he would’ve spent the time catching up with people he hadn’t seen in a while.

No, for now, all the friends Adam needs is alcohol and takeout.

He’s half way through the Chinese he had ordered when there’s a knock on his apartment door. It confuses him for a second, looking down at his food, food that had already arrived and so didn’t need delivering but he shrugs it off and goes to the door anyway.

Kim repeatedly got on his case about his surprising lack of awareness depending he’s a cop, that he never questions why his door knocks, and about how he never ‘practiced safety’ by opening the door without checking the peep hole and this comes to his mind, now. Just like it had ever since she left him, his ears missing her voice repeating the same words she always did despite him never listening, and he had gotten into the habit of checking.

(There’s a part of him that wonders, if he did that more when they were still together, maybe she’d still be his).

But Adam’s feeling particularly irritable today, at the whole situation, at the aching emptiness in his heart that still remains despite the fact it’s been months, despite the fact that they’ve been split for as long as their engagement was now, despite the fact that Kim hasn’t given him a second fucking thought, despite the fact that she’s with another man.

So why the hell should he still be listening to her voice in his head?

Adam opens the door, pushing that voice into a box in his head. Because of it, he thinks he must’ve opened the door a little too forcefully, as Kim looks startled as he does so.

Wait, he thinks. Kim?

For the first time in months, Kim is standing at his door. It’s what he’s been dreaming of ever since she walked out on him, and he had came back to his apartment and every bit of her was scrubbed from it. Even just a few weeks ago, had she turned up, for whatever reason, Adam would’ve been immediately softened at her appearance.

Not today. Today, Adam feels irritable.

“What do you want?” He snaps at her. He doesn’t mean for it to come out just so harsh standing but it’s been months of no contact and now she’s standing here for god knows what reason and all Adam wants to do is finish his dinner.

Kim looks a little taken back by his tone, which should’ve annoyed him more, especially considering it’s reasonable to assume he wouldn’t exactly be all sunshine and roses at her presence, especially since he’s in a mood, but it makes him feel guilty, bad that he’s caused that reaction in her.

This woman is going to be the death of him, he thinks.

Still, Kim isn’t deterred by his tone because of course she isn’t, because she’s Kim, and Kim is a strong and determined woman who never backs down from what she wants to do.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.” She says, and Adam almost wants to laugh. What possible misunderstanding could there have been—what, did she not actually break up with him, didn’t actually break his heart?

“Meet Roman,” At that, Kim holds up something and Adam realises this whole time there’s been something in her arms, and a pet cage at her feet that he didn’t see. (Yeah, he’s a great cop).

“My cat.” She finishes.

Oh.

Oh.

[pilesofpillows]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by my beloved 🌶️🧠^2 @xenokattz

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

16 😁😁

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

118, 025

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is my main obsession, but I do have a Harry Potter fic in the works that desperately needs an update. I've also been thinking about dipping into the Scandal fandom 🫣

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Primetime - Attoye PWP

Bound in Pleasure - Attoye PWP

An Angel, Drowned (Excerpt) - Namor/Okoye/Attuma PWP (whole fic is in progress)

Stars Within - Attoye (quite possibly the sweetest thing i've ever written in my existence)

Stars Aglow - Attoye (the second sweetest thing i've ever written in my existence

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do indeed! At least I do my best. I enjoy getting feedback and finding out how readers are feeling about the story and the characters. It's really the best part of sharing my writing with y'all 🥰

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nothing... yet... 😬 I don't really have a plan for angsty endings, I angst to for the happy stuff 😁

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiest I would say is either Stars Within or Stars Aglow (the actual ending is coming istg)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My HP fic caught some hate because some people don't enjoy Black Hermione and that is what it is... I don't really care. The BPWF fandom has been nothing but welcoming and they have my entire heart 🤗

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LMFAO yes 😂🤣🤣 Mind you, I just started in March and the majority of my fics are rated E 💀 but I write all kinds of smut and will be writing a lot more in the future 😁

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

There is a Narnia/Harry Potter fic in my personal drafts because I adore both fandoms. I might find the courage to post it one day 💀

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I certainly hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nopenopenope... but many requests

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

LOL no... I don't share well but I'm always happy to plot with my besties 😜

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I feel like this answer is pretty obvious but um Attoye (who's surprised 🤣)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sadly... Sunbound. It's entirely possible that I'll come back to it, but the vibe keeps drifting and I've got other things to work on 😅😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

World-building for sure... it's my favorite part. I've also been told I'm good with characterization(?) but idk... I just write what feels right.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It takes me a ridiculously long time to write scenes my brain doesn't looooove. I also can't write things out of order, which is what takes updates so long 💀

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to do it for brief phrases, a few sentences, and terms of endearment, but full conversations just get a note that they're happening in a different language. I like to put English translations in brackets for the differing languages I use, and I try my best to find the most accurate translations, but I don't speak Yucatec Maya or Xhosa 😂

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Publicly: Harry Potter

In the secret file on my laptop? Game of Thrones 😬

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's not done yet, but Like Real People Do is going to end up being one of the best things I ever write. At least until that angsty crazy thing I'm planning comes out. 😁

Soft Sweet Tags: @umber-cinders @jbarneswilson @theeblackmedusa

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@ckfemslashnetwork

COBRA KAI SAPPHIC SUMMER WEEK 3 BAREFOOT

***

When the morning came we Were cleaning incense off your Vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend

“How’d we end up on the floor anyway?” you say “Your roommate’s parents’ cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that’s how” I see you every day now

And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York LA No shoes Looked up at the sky and it was

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet, it was maroon

When the silence came we Were shaking blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands Ain’t that the way shit always ends?

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us I feel you no matter what The rubies that I gave up

And I lost you The one I was dancing with In New York LA No shoes Looked up at the sky and it was maroon

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet, it was maroon The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet, it was maroon

And I wake with your memory over me That’s a real fucking legacy, legacy And I wake with your memory over me That’s a real fucking legacy to leave

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet it was maroon The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet it was maroon

It was maroon It was maroon

***

YOOOOO LOOKIT ME, FINISHING ON TIME FOR ONCE

...well, barely, but still XD

Anyways, I remember when Midnights dropped last year, I was lowkey FLOORED because there were not one, not two, but THREE YasMoon songs on there??? Like maybe I was just a little biased because that was at the very cusp of my life-ruining hyperfixation, but STILL. I was very akjdnshkuefdyurgfuygfeuksy about it for several days straight XD

I've always wanted to write an angsty Maroon fic for these two, and already kinda dipped into it here, here, and here. This is basically an expansion on these! This is kind of a companion piece to my ongoing 10-minute All Too Well YasMoon fic (snippet here, btw!) since it goes into more detail about the dance scene in that one.

Btw!!! The kiss in this fic is 100% what I headcanon their first kiss was <3 It takes place circa October of their freshman year, so well before they started hanging out with Sam in the beginning of S1.

(Yes I do in fact think they started macking on each other within a few weeks of meeting at the beginning of freshman year ajsdnhkufduh Like they both have the confidence and the popularity that I think they'd just dive right into it with the intention of writing it off as "just bestie things" if one or both of them realizes they're not actually gay XD)

Hope Moon's POV isn't too purple prose-y ^^; I kind of struggle to write her sometimes because she seems like the kind of person who's very poetic in how she describes things and people (i.e. "I dreamed I was a drop of dew glistening in the moonlight"), very possibly to the point of being insufferable/cringey XD It can also be tricky to describe how much (I genuinely believe) she loved Yasmine without it coming across as like...idk, corny? Or over the top? But since this is romance fic, that's probably okay maybe? I guess not being that spiritual myself, I sometimes have a hard time incorporating Moon's spirituality into her character in what feels like a genuine and realistic way.

Fic preview under the cut! Y'all are lucky I stopped when I did so you just get the fluffy bits and aren't subjected to the absolute gut punch that the second half is inevitably gonna be XD No particular TWs for this section aside from mentions of (canon-typical) underage drinking and drug use and some descriptions of a make-out session.

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request :3

@karatecaulfield pspspsps!!! I Marooned them!!!

***

“What the fuck.”

Moon yawned in tired confusion, trying to piece together why Yasmine was so distraught.

“Mmmm. What?”

“We stayed up all fucking night.”

Yasmine nodded at the vast panoramic window, her face outlined in a faint orange glow. It took Moon a moment to realize it wasn’t just from the city lights.

Somewhere along the way, among the smoking and the laughing and the making out and the easy conversations, dawn crept up on them. The tree-covered hillside was bathed in rosy light, yellow porch lamps and streetlights mingling with the first rays of sun.

“Oh my god.” Under the haze of drugs and alcohol and sleep deprivation, Moon felt the alarm catch up to her. “Are we gonna die, Yas?”

“No, idiot.” Yasmine jabbed her shoulder—hard, but still affectionate. As was Yasmine’s way. “You’ll just be kind of tired later. And we can use my espresso machine.”

“Because my dad says if you don’t sleep, you’ll start seeing spirits and demons—”

“Your dad also licks LSD tabs enough to show up the damn tootsie pop owl, Moon.”

Moon snorted, lifting a foot from where it rested on Yasmine’s leg and kicking her lightly in the stomach. The other girl only cackled, emanating the same smug victory as always.

And god was it hot.

“I seriously can’t believe we pulled an all-nighter for no reason.” Yasmine laughed, one hand starting to absentmindedly massage Moon’s feet. “I haven’t pulled an all-nighter since I was like 12.”

Moon frowned. “What were you staying up all night for in middle school?”

“Oh, you know.” Yasmine clicked her tongue. “My mom wouldn’t let me ditch school on my 13th birthday, so I stayed up as a protest. I really didn’t want to like…cross the threshold of finally becoming a teenager while trapped in the shittiest place on earth. So I tried to put it off as long as I could.”

“Did it work?” Moon gave her a coy look.

“Oh, shut up.” Yasmine snickered, shoving her a little harder than before. Moon fell to the carpet in a giggling heap, feet still leaning against Yasmine’s stomach.

It was a strange sort of comfort, she thought. The effortless ease of being with a best friend.

A best friend.

Something Moon hadn’t had for a long while. Possibly not since early elementary school, where she had a bad habit of befriending girls just as strange as her only for them to move away the next year.

But then Yasmine happened. And it seemed that, unless disaster struck, she was there to stay.

“So be straight with me.” She gave Moon a searching look, drowsiness slowing her movements. “Did you secretly—”

“Be straight with you.” Moon cut her off. “You were Frenching me like your life depended on it 4 hours ago, and you want me to be straight with you.”

Yasmine’s entire face flushed. “You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, and you used the funniest possible wording for it.”

“You’re so annoying.”

You think so? Doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing.

Yasmine wasn’t open about fondness. But Moon could always feel it, hovering in the air in a sort of balmy, indescribable energy.

“But real talk.” Yasmine went back to scrutinizing her. “Did you secretly do one of those like…weird Wiccan spells when we burned the incense? To make time speed up or whatever?”

“No.” Moon had to smirk. “You just like hanging out with me. You wasted an entire night on me that you’ll never get back.”

And so Yasmine had. She could tell Moon tomorrow that she never wanted to see her again, and it couldn’t erase the hours they’d spent with their auras interlaced in that beautiful living room. The time their souls spent weaving into one blinding beam, like the first ray of sunrise over the Valley.

Yasmine answered with an eyeroll, but her cheeks were still undeniably red. Moon savored the taste of a rare victory.

“You like hanging out with me, Yasmine Pyne,” she taunted playfully. As though voicing it again would cement it into something more tangible. More permanent.

“Oh, bullshit.” Yasmine scoffed—albeit one devoid of any real disdain. “I invited you over to dance around my house and get crossed with me because I hate you.”

And Moon burst out laughing, because that quick, deadpan wit had to be her favorite thing in the world.

She hoped it would always be a short reach away.

“Speaking of the incense, though!” She sat up, suddenly reaching for a roll of paper towels on the ebony wood coffee table. “We should get back to work.”

They’d made quite a mess earlier, the remains of amber, cedar, jasmine, and copal sprawled across the decorative record shelves that Yasmine’s parents had never stored a single record on. Until about an hour ago, they were diligently cleaning it up.

Or maybe it was 2 hours? Moon wasn’t quite sure when they got sidetracked.

“How’d we even end up down here?” Yasmine glanced at the white carpet below them, which at some point they must have decided was a better seating arrangement than anything else the room had to offer.

“This probably helped.”

Moon plucked the empty rosé bottle from where it had almost rolled under a navy blue couch. The wine really was exceptionally shitty grade, for being from Yasmine’s mother’s padlocked liquor cabinet.

But Yasmine figured out the combination long ago, as well as the fact that the crappier the wine was, the quicker her mother would completely forget it existed.

Yasmine laughed, and Moon didn’t think it would ever stop being addictive. Full, beautiful, showing off dimples that only glowed their brightest when the frosty walls came down.

“We’re ridiculous. Loveseat over there’s worth 4 grand…and yet here we are.” She patted the floor, rolling her eyes.

“Should we move, then?”

“Mmmmm…no. That sounds like a lot of work.”

Yasmine ran thin, delicate fingers down Moon’s leg. Serenity trickled across her body, more cleansing than settling into a warm rose bath.

She leaned back, reclining on the carpet and closing her eyes. For a moment she swore she was floating, suspended in the sunrise with Yasmine backlit by the approaching morning. Both of them one with the sky and the vast infinity beyond.

She had so much to say, but wasn’t sure how to voice any of it without sounding silly.

Does she know she’s my peace? Does she know I never knew what bliss could really be until we entwined ourselves? Does she know I haven’t been this happy in a long time?

Does she know I’m falling in love? Does she know it scares me?

Does she know I still want to hold on as hard as I can?

“God.” She opened her eyes to see Yasmine smiling down at her—the kind of rare, unrestrained affection she could get used to. “You’re the coolest person I know, and I get to see you every day. I’m the luckiest bitch in the world.”

Moon thought she was, too.

***

Their shoes were kicked off at the foyer entrance, forgotten.

Yasmine led Moon around the hall’s velvet centerpiece, twirling with one hand on her friend’s waist and the other on a glass of merlot. The marble floor was cold against Moon’s feet, but her cheeks were burning.

It all felt like an elegant princess ball, straight out of some fairy tale picture book. Well…a princess ball if True Love’s Kiss was completely fucking unattainable, anyways.

She never should’ve agreed to this—“practicing” for the Halloween dance with Yasmine, of all people. Now she was an undignified, blushing, well-on-her-way-to-being-crossed mess.

Not like Yasmine was doing much better for herself.

Already half-drunk, her merlot swayed this way and that as she pulled Moon through the foyer. She giggled and hummed along to the soft pop music drifting from the boombox from the corner, green eyes bloodshot and slowly drifting shut.

Moon knew on some level that disaster was eminent. But the entire scene was so gloriously strange and delightfully ridiculous that all she could do was go along with it.

“We are so dumb.” She sniggered the words in between puffs from a bong, intermittently put down on Yasmine’s rose gold couch.

“Yeah. We’re idiots.” Yasmine erupted into a devilish grin, completely unperturbed. “But you’re having fun, aren’t you?”

Moon playfully blew a puff of smoke into Yasmine’s face. “I guess I am.”

“Tooooold you this was a great idea.”

One more lap around the centerpiece before the night irreversibly shifted.

A tiny misstep, and Yasmine’s leg collided with the velvet arm of the couch. She yelped, toppling forward and sending burgundy sloshing from her wine glass.

Gray-green eyes stretched wide with horror as Moon felt something wet on her. It was as though Yasmine banished her altered state with sheer force of will, now fully cognizant of the unfolding catastrophe.

“Shit. Moon. I’m so sorry.”

Her hand flew from Moon’s waist, covering a pained gasp. Moon surveyed the damage.

It wasn’t that bad. Just a dark red patch on a relatively unimportant floral-printed t-shirt. Nothing a good dry clean couldn’t fix.

But Yasmine was looking at the discolored smudge like Moon had been shot.

“Hey. It’s fine.” Moon rested a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll come out. Promise.”

Yasmine only whimpered, shaking her head. She nearly slammed her glass on the marble, putting it down in a rush so she could use both hands to inspect Moon’s shirt.

“God.” Her face twisted in disgust. “I’m such a moron. I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

“It’s okay!”

Moon forced a chuckle. Perhaps if she laughed this all off, so could Yas.

She found herself desperately wanting back the Yasmine of a few minutes ago, all giggles and easy smiles and clumsy movements. Too often she was a hot coil, ready on a moment’s notice to surge into a burst of concentrated, destructive energy. Never allowing herself to loosen or cool down.

It’d been nice to finally see her let all that go.

“It just looks like another rose in the pattern.” Moon shrugged. “Or…a carnation, maybe. Probably too dark to be a rose. But the shirt’s kind of a watercolor design anyways, so. Doesn’t look that out-of-place.”

“But I ruined it!” Yasmine ran the fabric through her fingers, staring at the stain like she was trying to will it away. “Now people are gonna see you and think you’re some kind of…I don’t know, sloppy alcoholic loser. I’ve seen my mom’s maid try to get out stains like this, and they’re a bitch.”

“Hey. Yas.” Moon ruffled her hair affectionately. “It’s just a shirt. I can get another one just like it.”

“Yeah, but…I was a big fucking dumbass, and now you have to go to the trouble.” Yasmine stepped back, looking up to meet Moon’s gaze.

Her face was pressed into a deep frown. Moon slid her hand back onto her friend’s shoulder.

“I thought wine would be fun, but it was all so stupid,” Yasmine muttered, eyes darting away.

“It was not!” Moon rolled her eyes. “You’re being overdramatic. What would it take to convince you I’m not mad?”

“Why aren’t you?!” Yasmine practically wailed it. “Like, you’re not showing nearly enough concern over this fashion disaster! Imagine if anyone at school saw you like this. They’d never take you seriously again. Start calling you ‘Moonshine’ or some shit.”

“Yes, but they aren’t here.” Moon shook her head, fond smile tugging at her lips. “You worry too much about things that haven’t even happened yet. Take a deep breath, okay?”

“I still can’t believe I was that stupid.” The other girl’s frown morphed into an embarrassed pout. “Like. Ugh. Practically pouring wine on you like some sort of dumb fuck because I forget where my own fucking couch is. I’m—I’m really sorry. I’ll buy you a new shirt if you want.”

It was strange—this minor thing sending her into near hysterics. She was never one for even small apologies, let alone making a huge, borderline groveling show of them. There was a cognitive dissonance in it—this facet so drastically different from any of the Yasmine Moon had seen.

And yet.

Something about Yasmine’s flustered, self-conscious blubbering, Moon thought, was so beautiful.

And that was about when it hit her.

In a matter of weeks, Yasmine had clawed her way to the top of the school food chain, pulling Moon right along with her. They were practically royalty, hallways clearing out for them to walk through and geeky classmates not even daring to look them in the eye.

Moon could have anyone she wanted now. Half the jocks were constantly ogling her, any one of them more than content to be a trophy on the up-and-coming cheerleader’s arm.

But she wanted Yasmine.

She could have kids from every high school in California vying for her affections—presenting her with gifts and flattery and sensual touches and promises and everything in between—and her choice would be the same every time.

She plucked up her own wine, sitting on a nearby table, and took a long sip. The warmth of the alcohol bubbled through her like a holy elixir—and in a single, elevated moment, she made up her mind.

Yasmine was still mumbling apologies and bemoaning her tiny moment of weakness when Moon cupped her cheeks, pulling them together.

Heat coursed from her purple-painted toenails to her tanned cheeks and everywhere in between. It was like sinking into a hot tub on a cold winter night, jets pressing on her from every direction.

And for what felt like a while, Moon let herself lie suspended in the moment. Not taking in a thing but the dazzling now.

Yasmine tasted like strawberry bubblegum lip gloss, and her mouth was soft and sensual and perfect—like the stars had always aligned for Moon to end up there. Smooth, manicured nails cupped the back of her neck, massaging every runaway hair and every hidden crevice of skin.

The only reason Moon pulled away was to center herself. Make sure she hadn’t done something completely insane.

“Moon.”

Her name was almost inaudible.

Yasmine stared in quiet disbelief, completely motionless. Moon held her breath, waiting for everything to process.

When it did, there was no horror on Yasmine’s face. No disgust. No shame. Not yet, anyways.

She was in awe.

“Why the hell did you stop?”

The sheer aggression of the statement caught Moon off-guard. She scarcely had time to think before Yasmine was holding her chin, yanking her forward and slamming their mouths together.

They pulled apart and crashed together again and again, fire and fervor and sheer, insatiable hunger blazing hotter than every star in the sky. And even tingling with a euphoria that felt eternal, Moon couldn’t help but think this was a long time coming.

She’d always had a feeling her and Yasmine’s auras were destined to interlock—far more than hers had with anyone else’s. And she’d always had a feeling they wanted each other.

It was a tension that hung in the air, coloring the space between them in vivid, pulsating pinks and reds. The ever-present agony of wanting the flavorful candy stored on top shelves, but never sure how to get it. The frustration of entangling themselves when they hugged goodbye and realizing that a brief hold would never be enough.

The way when they touched, they didn’t want to let go.

No, they were always meant to end up that way. And come what may, Moon would not question the wills of fate and the universe.

Especially when it gifted her the most beautiful thing she ever felt.

Sunset light streamed in through elegant bay windows, and the whole foyer glowed like topaz. In between kisses Moon saw it wash over Yasmine, outlining her in peach and orange and finally deep scarlet.

She was brighter than a goddess.

Dusk was pleasantly warm against Moon’s arms. Pure, relieving, freeing. Peaceful as the rhythm of evening crickets and the hum of distant 101 traffic.

The beginning of something beautiful. Not merely the last touch of daylight before the world was taken by darkness.

Then again, for someone named after the brightest thing in a black sky…

It only made sense the most radiant moments of Moon’s life would be on the cusp of nightfall.

When Moon looked out the windows again, the sky was deep red, and the clouds glowed like rubies.

[findafight]

here is the spotify link to Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape (vol.1) I'm going to say they made this version in the early spring of 1985. fic link

track list and explanations under the cut!!

Side A--the queer side

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler: I'm gonna take a wild guess and say y'all know why this is here

Rainbow Connection by Kermit: also self explanatory. and a bop. AND about rainbows. what more could you want?

Bangkok/One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head (Original Chess Recording version): 1) a banger. 2) from a whole musical written by the Bs of ABBA 3) Steve likes to listen to musical while vacuuming his pool :) 4) queer vibes. "the queens we use would not excite you" "i get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine" also to note they DID probably shave off the first minute of instrumental, but not all of it. I used this version and not the radio edit because in my heart of hearts I believe Steve picked up the Chess concept album in the fall of 1984, vibed with it, (I've answered an ask about stobin and the musical chess where I talk more) and that's the version he has.

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen: tbh always sounded gay to me, and it's such a fun song, I think they'd vibe with it and agreed it's a silly little nod to steve's previous rep.

Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard by Paul Simon: GAY GAY VERY GAY SONG "it's against the law...what their mama saw/it was against the law" HMM also it's catchy and has so much potential to be an angsty queer ballad too. (also Robin's dad is 100% a Simon and Garfunkle stan that's just. a fact to me.)

I'm Coiming Out by Diana Ross: iconic song claimed by the gays. for the obvious reasons. bit on the nose but this is for THEM.

Sunshine (Go Away Today) by Jonathan Edwards: About not letting someone control your life. It's catchy and heartfelt, dreams about the future. Steve's Vecna Song for me.

You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes: stobin are losers in the love department, and it's a great and hopeful song about not rushing into things. The Supremes Version because Robin is influenced by her former Hippie parents, and Steve by his Aunt Evelyn and her love of 50's and 60's music. They have appreciation for the Oldie Goldies.

Lady Marmalade by LaBelle: Disco baby. I also feel this was a song for us queer folk. maybe because I'm queer and I like it. it's great, and robin loves hearing women sing about having sex.

Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler: throwback to the first song on the mixtape Steve gave Robin at the very beginning! now with the Upside Down between them it means more too. it's also SO FUN to belt in the car. frantic and with a good beat. I don't think I need to justify this one haha

Believe it or Not (theme from Greatest American Hero) by Joey Scarbury: Robin LOVES this stupid show about a cringe fail teacher with his cringe fail life getting a super suit from aliens and then losing the instruction manual. It just feels like a show she'd like even though it's so silly. The theme song is actually great tho. I think it'd really tickle the part of Robin that feels overly average and a bit trapped in Hawkins, but feels those confines lessen when she's with Steve and getting to feel like there's more out there for her. Personally, I first heard it on cassette of top 100 tv themes (along with MASH, Law and Order, Hawaii Five-oh, Andy Griffith etc) sitting in a booster seat in the front seat of my family's motor home on a long summer road trip in the early 2000's, as my dad drove and told me what show each song was from. (Steve buddy I understand your dream so much ok. There's nothing quite like being a kid and going on a roadtrip with your family. magical.)

Side B--The Besties side

You're My Best Friend by Queen: Love song for your best friend me thinks yes :)

Stuck With You by Huey Lewis and the News: the only anachronistic song on the playlist, but I couldn't NOT put it on. lavender marriage stobin REAL. They're stuck with each other :) also look at Steve. He is a guy who listens to Huey Lewis. We know this. He heard this song a year before it came out and was like robin :') it's us....I'm stuck with you...I'm so Happy about it :))

Stoned Soul Picnic by The 5th Dimension: Robin's parents are former hippies. This song is fantastic. Pure vibes. Steve and Robin are going to get rescue cats that are bonded together and name them Sassafras and Moonshine for this song.

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles: Bop and a half. Sing along song.

Both Sides Now by Judy Collins: 1)gorgeous song originally by Joni Mitchel but this version is a bit faster 2) Robin's former Hippie parents influencing her taste strike AGAIN 3) she tries to convince Steve it's about being "queer like him" and he doesn't buy it but "I've looked at love from both sides now/.../I really don't know love at all" and "Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange/ And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed/ Well something's lost, but something's gained" hit different for him

Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel: I chose this billy joel song because it's 1) catchy as all hell 2) about having sex 3) mentions dying and stobin are like We didn't die!! hell yeah! Steve's a pianist and tbh he loves billy joel. who doesn't. it was between this one and piano man i guess, tho i love many Billy Joel songs that are "deeper cuts" ha. and "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints/the sinners are much more fun" line is like. what are they gonna do. not be an emotional queer teen about it?

Raspberry Beret by Prince: it's catchy, and whilst originally I had put La La Love You By Don McLean here, I like this one better. Robin is definitely a Prince fan. and a beret fan. happy coincidink. and its a fun song! about loosing your virginity to a hot girl in a barn!

Indiana Wants Me by R. Dean Taylor: okay originally I'll admit I put this on the masterplaylist because. obviously post-s4 Eddie running away angst song even if it's more folk-rock than metal. I think Steve and Robin would listen to it and really vibe with wanting to go home but not being able to. even if it's not literally. also they live in Indiana and like. you've gotta respect a song about where you live. ALSO the cop sounds in it. so good.

Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen: a song? about being disillusioned with the American dream after seeing the institutional failures of the government??? very Steve. the whole album is great, and I know I've reblogged a post about Steve and the album (My Hometown hits different). It's angry, frustrated, passionate. Being queer in a small town where the government covers up it's human experimentation and alternate dimensions probably makes you feel a lot of things. All with the veneer of Americana.

Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) by Peter Starstedt: purely self indulgent of me. I adore this song. I think Steve heard it, and thought of Robin. The remembering, the deep knowledge of another person, the longing. When he told Robin that it's a song he always associates with her she tears up a bit, because it's so tender and loving, and a bit silly. Like. Steve knows she'll be amazing and can't comprehend anyone not seeing it. It's sooo tender.

Thank You for Being a Friend by Andrew Gold: Golden Girls didn't air their first episode until fall 1985, and obviously when it does Stobin are loyal viewers, (Steve is in love with Bea Arthur. as is right) but this song came out in the 70's. It's fun and cute and catchy! They love each other and are so, incomprehensibly grateful that they found each other.

[whysamwhy123]

Wrote something for the first time this year, holla! As per usual, it ended up being way longer than I intended. It's weird though, it's kind of a precursor/prologue/set-up/context to another fic that I may or may not write (y'all better hope I don't because it'd be real angsty and messy and probably a big ol' ''Everyone disliked that'' moment) But I can't include it in the fic proper, because reasons, and I don't think it really stands on its own, so I feel a little bit like I may have wasted my time writing it 😬 But still, I wrote a thing! Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things now.

Maybe I'll post it here later today? Just so it doesn't feel like it's going to waste?

Oh, and it's OrangeHook, because of course it is, I have not moved on from that yet, LOL.

[tannithvibes]

guess posting that excerpt was a good idea, since i finally dragged myself out of this funk enough to write 1k words today??

[natashxromanovf]

omg hi! It's been a hot minute! Hope all is well! I was wondering if I could get a Pietro Maximoff x Reader onshot with prompt 36. "I'll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren't worthy of being loved." Where the reader is being bullied online for dating him, and it's pretty angsty but has a fluffy ending? It's totally okay if it's a drabble or blurb as well. Have a good day or night! <3

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pietro Maximoff x fem!reader

Word count: 730

Warnings: online bullying, mentions of being insecure

A/N: Okay, my one-shot requests are closed at the moment so this is part of the writing hours, as I already clarified. No, this is not inspired by Olivia’s song, I just named the fic like that. I hope you enjoy this, thank you for requesting! <3 If y'all are wondering why I included my taglist in this - it's because i'm very proud of this piece and it would be amazing for it to get some feedback :)

Navigation (check for status) // Masterlists

Dating Pietro is one of the best things that happened in your life. He’s sweet and caring, kinda cocky too but that’s just what you gotta take with everything nice - in a way, his cockiness is contagious and it made you a little more confident too. Which is a good thing, confidence never hurt anyone.

But not everything is daisies and sunshine; some people think that you don’t deserve Pietro. That he could find someone better, someone who’s more like him. You’re not an Avenger nor do you have superpowers. You’re just a normal human being with no secret life, no secret abilities and you like it that way. Yet it doesn’t help with insecurities; it’s like a little devil is always whispering into your ear about how people are right, how you should just break up with him, tell him he deserves someone better. It’s not okay and you know it, your relationship makes both of you happy but sometimes, the dark thoughts overpower the good ones.

Today is one of those days. You feel like the bullies are extra mean lately and today when you woke up something in you snapped. Of course, the first thing you did was go on Instagram and read the comments under your last post. Some were positive, sure, but some were crueler than ever. They developed from simple “he deserves better” to death threats and honestly, it makes you sick to think about it.

Even Pietro noticed something was not okay - the lack of appetite, cringing every time you look at your phone, increased sadness. He really wishes he could do something, help somehow but he doesn’t know how to approach the situation. All this relationship thing is new to him, even friendships too. For a long time, Wanda was the only person he could really call a friend and it shows.

“Hey, baby, how are you?” he starts as he enters the room, pressing a sweet kiss against your cheek. You smile, the first real smile in a while before replying with a simple “I’m okay,”

He could easily see right through you, knowing that was a lie but instead of pressuring you he decided on trying to convince you to tell him yourself. “Are you sure about that? You seem kinda… down,” he states, his tone nothing but soft. You know you should tell him, you really should but it’s just so hard - you feel like a burden, like you’ll give him something more to worry about as if he doesn’t have enough on his plate already. But deep down you know he’ll listen and help, if not anything else he’ll have good advice. As much as he can be stupid sometimes, he can also be damn smart.

“Okay, you’re right. The reason I’ve been feeling sad lately is because some stupid people have been mean on the internet. I tried to ignore it but the comments just kept getting worse and worse until I couldn’t help but wonder if they’re right. And believe me, I know I shouldn’t listen to them, that they’re only doing this because they’re jealous but it’s hard,” you finish, Pietro getting angrier with each second passing by. He didn’t know about any of this and it pains him that you wouldn’t tell him the minute it started but he also understands. Truth be told, he would do the same so there’s no way he can blame you - it still doesn’t stop him from wishing you would’ve said something sooner though.

“Oh, printessa, I’m sorry,” he sighs, pulling you into a big and comforting hug. You hide your face into the crook of his neck, him caressing your back. “You’re right. You shouldn’t listen to them. They just want to see how long it takes you to crack and they want attention. I wish I could tell you this will stop but it won’t. There will always be people who will hate but you gotta remember it’s all because their lives are so miserable they need to do this to feel good. All I can promise is that I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved,” he mutters, kissing the crown of your head gently. You just smile, glad that you decided to tell him - he said all the right things, just like you knew he would. And you now know that in the end, there's no way you would let anybody take Pietro away from you.

I hope you enjoyed this! As always, feedback is very much appreciated <3

General taglist: @maybanksslut @sprucewoodlover @potterheadphanatic-blog @sabstfu @emmywinningengineer

Marvel taglist: @voidmalfoy @cunningambitousdetermined @crazy-beautiful @pad-foots @scintillatea @sexysirius @rorybutnotgilmore @kimoralov3 @msfandomfreak @johnmurphyisqueer @dreamcxtcherr @griffxnnage @xxromanoffxx @dreamy-clousds

Pietro Maximoff: @leossmoonn @mollysolo @velvetcloxds @jackys-stuff-blog

[daegalfangirl]

└> SUMMARY; based off of the song "bye my first" by nct dream, love is a little hard.

└> GENRE; angst angst angst kind of a teensy bit of fluff??? unrequited love (on both ends) bffs to strangers to friends

└> WORD COUNT; 2.4k+

└> PAIRING; donghyuck/jeno x fem!reader

└> WARNINGS; they grow up like super fast, i think theres cussing i cant remember, donghyuck has like a weird obsessive moment (but it goes away)

└> TAGLIST; @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @skrtbeepbeep @tarolovebot @sunshinedhyuck @haechanswhore (BYEE OMG IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD YOU TO THE INITIAL TAGLIST 😭😭😭)

└> A/N; the angsty ass heartbreak yet the closure at the end is so UGHHHHHH i wrote this all in an hour and a half and tbh for the time spent on it im extremely satisfied. prolly my fav fic so far (mostly cus im an angst lover) but i really hope y'all like it as much as i did! also i've been super super busy this week i only got the chance to proofread once so i'm very very very sorry for the errors. i also rushed putting this together (bc again im really busy rn) so i apologize if there's anything odd. if there's an error that sticks out obnoxiously to you feel free to tell me!

part of the feelings on shuffle. collab!

ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı

↳ currently playing ;;

Bye My First... - NCT DREAM

0:56 ——•———————— 3:26

↺ << ll >> ⋮≡

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍ���: ————•

Love, I only have you

When  I said I'd risk my life

To  prove you were my last love

That was yesterday (Woo!)

Your sobs loudly spread through the playground, as the other kids ignore your pain. There was always some crying kid at the playground everyday. Ignoring the pain of a peer was an odd normalization, but it existed at your school. No one seemed to care about your injury.

But he did.

Lee Donghyuck. He was quite popular among your peers due to his extroverted personality. He was the last person you'd expect to see when you opened your eyes.

At first you were in disbelief and thought you misunderstood because of your blurry vision from the overflowing tears.

But it was real.

"Hey, don't cry." He urged, not knowing what to do. He himself didn't know why he was here either, he'd always ignore people when they cried. It's not because he wanted to, but because he didn't know what to do.

Though, when he saw you, he felt the urge to protect you.

That was the first step into something dangerous between the two of you.

To this day you're still not sure whether you regret it or not.

It was clumsy first love

Always  by your side, next to you

I  followed you around everywhere, I might as well stick to you

I thought everything would work out if we did it all together

"Haechan!" You yelled while running next to your best friend. It was the last day of elementary school, and you wanted to spend the whole day with your best friend (and crush), Lee Donghyuck.

You'd miss him over the summer, he always brightened your day. He felt the same way as well, both of you clinging to each other the whole day.

"You know... It's a different school and stuff. We won't forget about each other Hyuckie, right?" You asked, twiddling with your fingers in worry. "Of course not, we'll always be best friends Y/n." He said as the both of you hugged each other, not wanting to let go.

You'd never let go of him, or so you thought.

Oh, how much simpler it was to be young and careless.

--

"We have new neighbors Y/n, and they have a son your age. I know you've been missing Donghyuck, so why don't you try to make a new friend?" Your mother urged, saddened by your unhappy state ever since the summer started.

"But mommy... no one will ever replace Donghyuck." You said tearing up. You had really grown a connection with your “best friend”, and it was quite noticeable.

God, were you a sensitive child.

"I'm not telling you to replace him baby, just make a new friend!" She tried once again, hoping you'd follow through with her request.

You mumbled a small fine before going back to your room to put on some shoes. You washed away all your worries, wanting to experience some happiness over the summer.

You opened the door and walked out. You twiddled with your fingers in nervousness, that being one of your most annoying habits. You walked out, and as soon as you went out your eyes met familiar ones.

Haechan?

Haechan!

The both of you ran towards each other, falling on the grass with your bodies attached in a comforting hug. You both laughed and brushed off the grass from your clothes.

"Why are you here Haechan??" You asked, completely confused. How did he know where you lived?? Isn't that a little cree-

"I moved here! I didn't even know you lived here Y/n, but I'm happy." He says clapping his hands, excited for what the summer brings between the two of you.

A summer full of Haechan was exactly what you wanted! You were glad to have your best friend live next door, as it opened more doors for your friendship.

Although, a summer full of Donghyuck was not what you needed for the future.

Those were the days of youth, it was like a movie

The anxiety that's been closely followed by love

I thought I grew up

What do I do?

All  those times were memories

It all passed by

6th grade. In 5th grade you were at the top of the chain at the school. Now you begin once again at the bottom. You're finally growing up, something you didn't expect to hit so soon.

Growing up? You're so funny Y/n.

You and Haechan didn't have any classes together, only sharing the same homeroom. It was a bit disheartening, but you knew you guys would still be glued together.

Yeah, you sure knew...

"Y/n, guess what?" Donghyuck said as he ran up to you, clearly in a bright mood. You were happy to see him happy, expecting some great news. You nodded at him and smiled.

"I have a girlfriend!"

The words you've dreaded and hoped to never come out of his mouth.

It was going to happen, was it not? But why so soon....

He was your best friend. Stop overstepping your boundaries Y/n, know your place. You're being selfish, you scolded yourself mentally.

Be happy for him, his happiness is yours.

You nodded and smiled at him, not knowing what else to say. "Do you wanna meet her?" He asked, wanting his best friend and girlfriend to get along. "Sure!" You said, getting up.

"She's in our homeroom, over here!" He said dragging you by your hand. "Hey, Luna, this is my best friend Y/n." Donghyuck said introducing the both of you to each other.

You could detect her scowl from a mile away, her eyes glaring at you and Haechan’s intertwined hands. You looked back at Haechan, clearly oblivious to her reaction.

Couldn't he date someone nicer? It could've been so much easier for you.

They'll break up after a couple weeks, middle school relationships never last.

Their relationship definitely lasted longer than it should have.

Baby (Baby)

I'm really gonna go crazy (Crazy)

Because I fell for you

And all I knew was straight ahead

Donghyuck didn't know what to do.

"Stop being friends with her." The words rang in his head constantly, as he weighed out his options. He couldn't do this to her, not Luna, she was his first girlfriend. He wanted to her to be his first and last

God, what a fucking mistake on his end.

--

"We can't be friends anymore." Donghyuck said, not bothering to make eye contact with you. Your heart shattered with his words. Why? Why would he do this?

You knew exactly why.

Donghyuck and Luna have been dating on and off since 6th grade, it's now 9th grade. There was always one common subject in their arguments that led to breakups.

You.

You should've known sooner, but it's still a major letdown. You didn't know whether to be disappointed in yourself or Donghyuck. "Okay." You sighed, holding your tears.

"Huh? Really?" Donghyuck said, finally turning to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were never something he could decipher, maybe that's why he was so attracted to you-

-as a friend of course.

Your eyes looked dull, but he couldn't tell what you were feeling in the moment. "It was expected of you, Haechan. You've been avoiding me recently, and it doesn't take a genius to know why." You explained.

"I know you'll be fine. You were turning away from me to hang out with those basketball boys anyways, not that I dislike them." You answered before walking away.

He didn't deserve to see your tears. You're a strong girl, are you not?

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, you didn't even want to hear an apology. You knew Haechan, correction, Donghyuck pitied you in this moment.

You don't need his pity. If he really cared he wouldn't have done this.

All these years so in love with a boy that never cared to love you back, so it felt.

Yeah, now you know how heartbreak feels like.

It's whatever, so so

I guess this is it

I wanted to do better

I still don't know

I've only went this far

(Love is a little hard)

You never opened your curtains. Not once, never again. Your window pointed straight to Donghyuck's room, and you didn't need to be constantly reminded.

You remember when you made the mistake of opening your curtains, you saw Luna in his room, giggling. As soon as she saw you, her laughs amplified.

It was sad. You knew what she was trying to do, yet it still worked.

She knew how to remind you that you've lost, and you let her step on top of you. She won, that's all that mattered in her eyes.

It was all a major reality check, because Donghyuck didn't care. He never did. He never cared about you, not since day 1.

He saved you from that playground, only from mere infatuation. You weren't a fool, you noticed it. He never cared about you, he was just interested in the idea of having a friend like you.

What a piece of shit.

Never, never again.

--

Donghyuck felt like absolute shit. He had never seen or heard of you after that. Of course he noticed how your curtains were always closed, how could he not?

He asked the Neo basketball team for advice, not knowing what to do. He missed your friendship, he missed you.

How could he have been so inconsiderate?

He remembers how the Neo basketball team looked at him when he explained the story, criticizing him. Taeyong had to be the one to tell everyone to stop, but he shouldn't have.

He knew he deserved it.

He laid on his bed that night. Body facing the window, the one which you shared many memories communicating.


That night he cried.

For the first time in his life, Lee Donghyuck cried for you.

That's right, I'm so so

Maybe I'm young-minded

I didn't want to be caught

A secret only I know

I'll bury it here

(Love is a little hard)

Donghyuck was popular, he'd been popular his whole life. Not only that, he was commonly crushed around campus. Too bad though, because everyone knew he was Luna's boyfriend.

He knew that everyone viewed him in his relationship as Luna's boyfriend.

Duh, obviously. They were dating. But why did Donghyuck hate the label so much?

The answer was obvious, but he’d never accept the truth. It's far too late.

Today was another realization for Donghyuck. He walked into the library, or almost did. He stopped once he heard Luna's voice. He hoisted the door to the library slightly open so that he could hear what was being said.

"Awe, all alone now aren't you? No Donghyuck to stay by your lonely side? Not anymore.” Luna said, taunting you.

Haechan didn't have to think twice to know who Luna was talking to.

You hummed softly, giving her minimal attention. Luna was unhappy by your response, or lack thereof. "No reaction? Someone’s being a little bold." Luna scowled.

You once again failed to give her any attention. Haechan noticed how the situation was escalating and took the risk of being seen by one of you.

He had to see what was going on, and he decided to peep his head through the door to look at the scene.

You had been intentionally ignoring Luna everytime she tried insulting you, because you knew she always wanted a reaction from you. It reassured her, a win in her eyes.

Luna had enough with you. She had quite the short temper, which wasn't much of a secret to the school. Haechan had never seen her try to get violent, not until now.

She raised her hand, now milliseconds away from slapping you.

That memory will forever be ingrained in his mind, the moment he realized he didn't protect you. He hurt you, he witnessed someone he (thought he) loved try to do the same.

He felt pathetic as he walked away from the library, not bothering to intervene. He decided to keep it to himself, a rather painful secret.

Why did things have to get so complicated?

Ooh, I know as much as everyone else

Now, I'm not

Young anymore

I told you to trust me

Endless love

Someone in your heart

Don't get carried away

It's eventually stop

Junior year. Oh how time passes by so quickly.

Haechan didn't expect to walk into his class on the first day to see you and Jeno laughing. One of his own best friends, how could Jeno do this to him?

All he saw was red. He was lucky that Jaemin stopped him before he did anything he’d regret.

"I'm so fucking tired of this Donghyuck." Jaemin said, clearly about to burst. "Grow the fuck up. She's not yours, she never was. You treated her like shit and now you're angry someone's making her happy again? I don’t wanna get involved in something that has nothing to do with me, but I knew if I didn't pull you back you would've hurt my best friend. I’m not letting that happen, not in my eyes again.."

Jaemin was so right, Haechan couldn't even correct him. It was the truth.

That day, he broke up with Luna.

It's time he starts a new beginning, but he couldn't let go of you, not just yet.

He wanted you back in his life again.

You said I was the only one in the world

But let go of my hand

And I stupidly held onto those days

I truly knew nothing

Such a pure first and last

It all passed by

It was official, the day he had always dreaded. You were officially star basketball player Lee Jeno's girlfriend.

Donghyuck knocked at your door, expecting your mother to open the door. Of course things didn't go according to plan, because Lee fucking Jeno opened the door.

"Huh? Donghyuck? Why are you here." Jeno asked, confused.

You were in the kitchen and as soon as you heard his name you got up in confusion and walked to the door.

It had been so long, too long since the two of you had spoken to one another. "Why are you here, Donghyuck?" You asked in confusion. He could see the way your eyes dulled when you looked at him, and it hurt so much. He deserved it though, he really did. "Let's talk, in private." He said, not wanting to confront you in front of Jeno.

"Okay." You said as Jeno walked back in, you following him outside.

Baby (Baby)

My heart has changed (Heart)

If I don't say something

You'll never notice

"What did you need?" You asked Donghyuck uninterestedly, but still not as bothered as you'd expected. Neither of you felt as if you were prepared for this moment, the closure.

This was the end. The end of you and Donghyuck’s chapter of failed romance.

"I want to try again-" Before silence could pass after his words you laughed loudly. He would've enjoyed the giggle if it was in any other context.

"Now? After how many years? Donghyuck, I don't know what makes you think I'm so easy to get but it's honestly really weird. I thought you'd be happy for me, no?" You asked, utterly confused yet amused.

You sighed, finally deciding to take this seriously. Both of you needed this closure. "Donghyuck I'm thankful for everything, you were my first love. For 7 years I was head over heels for you, but I was too optimistic when it came to my trust in you. I think it's time we both let go and just settle down as friends. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but what's done is done. I'm happy, and I don't want to hurt mine and Jeno's feelings just for your own satisfaction. I love you so much, but I know you can find someone so much better. Please move on, because I have and I don't want to see you in pain. Maybe if things were different we could've been together, maybe if you didn't break my heart.”

Those were the words he needed. It's time.

It's time to let go.

The both of you cried in each other's arms, it was a goodbye to the past and a hello to your present.

"Thank you for everything." You said in a broken voice as Haechan nodded, not wanting to speak knowing his voice would break.

The pain the both of you suffered was immeasurable, but it's what brings you to beautiful moments like these.

Now you're both finally growing up.

So yeah, maybe love is a little hard.

“we’re always learning as we grow. even though we all have our painful experiences, but they shape us into who we are now. so thank you, thank you for shaping me into who i am. i will truly love you till the end. thank you for being my first love, for teaching me to let go.

from your forever best friend, y/n.”

kvydence, 2021 ❣︎

[nightcreepsin]

dnf fic recs bc i've been sad recently

hi i've been very overwhelmed with school and med school apps and reading fics has been a good break for me so here are some fics that i've really enjoyed for anyone who also finds joy in fic (more under the cut)

generally good fics

parchment and pouring rain by eshares - eyes meet in a book shop crossed with hiding at a bus stop to avoid the rain. boom you have the cutest fic of all time.

stay with me by alltimecharlo - george wakes up in an alternate universe and what is this? dream is his boyfriend?

coffee through first period by OBLVN - george and dream are high school teachers. dream brings george coffee every morning. this is too cute.

smash my heart by dontrollthedice - george and sapnap are super smash commentators and one smash streamer waltzes in and completely derails george's life.

looking by the window, i can see by arsenicarose - dream moves to london and his heater breaks so of course he must spend more time at his neighbor's warm apartment.

it's... not a match by crimsvn - one of my favorite tropes. person a swiping on tinder at the airport after a delayed flight and person b seeing person a swipe left on them.

sincerely, yours by hendollana - george stumbles across an attractive pair of hands on omegle (not to romanticize omegle but this fic is cute. and its fiction! pls don't actually use omegle).

angsty-ish

as it is by aviator8 - ok this is tangentially dnf and focuses a bit more on time traveler karl but it is so so good. karl and dream and saying good bye to everyone you love.

swim until the swamplands come by candypolaroide - falling in love with your best friend is complicated. it's even more complicated when you go to visit him in england... aka what if the vlog meet up was real?

grip by honkdaddyy - dream and george break up and get back to get together again. and again. there's some smut but really this fic pulled at my heart strings.

of idiots, coconuts, and raindrops that shatter by lightNS - dream tries to prove that he is in fact straight by dating a guy for a week. george is an unwilling participant in this bet. one of my favorite fics of all time.

alternate universes

hard out here for a bug these days by diapason - george as miraculous lady bug and dream as chat noir. i loved this show and its such a cute au and for those who haven't seen the show read it anyways bc there's pining and identity porn.

i'll meet you in the common room by art3mismh - george and dream are both captain of their house's quidditch teams. and it's the final match of the season, so where are they?

van gogh out with me by my9397 - dream is a super hero and hates that infamous art thief 404 always is active at the worst times. he doesn't hate, however, stumbling into the diner where george works at absurd hours in the night. i love identity porn y'all.

nsfw fics (there are too many and i couldn't choose)

moonbeans by thediscontent - this is probably like top 5 fics of all time for me. fwb. george in dream's hoodie. hopeful but not quite happy ending. everything about this is absolutely perfect.

extracurriculars by anonymous - george wants to raise his grade, and that involves stopping by dream's office one night as he's grading assignments. a teacher/student au with a twist.

ok there are wayyyy more fics that i've wanted to rec since the last time i made one of these (especially nsfw) but i'm tired and this is already so long. i'll probably make another fic rec (eventually)

send all of these authors love for putting out such good content

for more fic recs check out part 1 and part 2

[spurious-result]

For the Fanfic Writer Ask Meme: B, E, N, R :D

Thanks very much for the ask!

B:  What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for?

Oh man, I'm going to date myself here. xD My very first fic-reading fandom was The X-Files, way back in the day. The first fandom I ever wrote anything for was Sherlock Holmes (I'm sorry, I'm an incredible nerd!), but of course it's just MGS nowadays.

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

Ah, in the MGS world I'd have to go with Otacon - I imagine he's a popular choice, lol. I suspect most of us have a little "stammering, insecure scientist who happens to be in love with the big beefy jock" somewhere deep down inside.

In all seriousness, though, I've always found Otacon to be one of the more heroic characters in the series, in his own quiet way. He overcomes a lot of personal baggage, and his own fear/insecurity issues, and always manages to Get Shit Done when push comes to shove. He doesn't do the flashy, 'blowing-things-up' part of the job, but he's consistently shown to be very competent at what he does. And when he has to do something that's very much NOT in his wheelhouse (like dragging his half-dead partner out of a river during a manhunt, or flying a helicopter full of hostages to safety right after watching his sister die), he steps up to the plate and does what needs doing.

In terms of fic, I'd say probably Taught By Thirst?? I am a huge sucker for Otacon being a terrified-but-competent badass in the immediate post-tanker aftermath, and that's a huge part of what that particular fic is about. He's the biggest unsung hero of the series, truly. ❤

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

So many, lol! My problem is that I'm an *incredibly* slow, plodding writer, so it takes a long time to actually get anything to fruition.

Currently, I'm working on finishing up the last chapter of Or Else The Light... which is coming along nicely but DEAR GOD, it's going to be long. 😫 Hoping to have it done and posted sometime in the next couple of weeks or so.

Once that's finished, I do have several other ideas on the docket. In no particular order, they include:

Another longish, multi-chapter fic in the same series as Taught By Thirst, Everything That Rises, and Or Else The Light - set in the time period between MGS2 and 4, and dealing with their acquisition of Sunny and the start of Snake's accelerated aging issues.

A smutty 'sneaking suit sex' one-shot, because God knows I like PWPs as much as the next person and I have *thoughts* about how this might go down.

A "five times this happened" kind of thing with several loosely-related vignettes taking place at different times in the series, centered around scenarios where Snake runs into trouble in the field and Otacon has to deal with the aftermath - featuring different moods (awkward, funny/cute, angsty, etc.) depending on the details. Would likely include some bits from very early Philanthropy era, MGS4 era, and everything in between... kind of, tracing the evolution of their partnership (and, ahem... *partnership*, if you catch my drift) over time, through that lens.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

OH MAN, that's a tough one. I honestly think I take a little something away from almost everything I read, whether it's related to phrasing, word choice, character development, plotting, etc.

Because the truth is - writing any kind of fiction is fucking HARD, y'all. Much harder than I would have guessed, before I'd ever tried it myself. (How the fuck do people do this for a living??? Hats off, for real.) So nowadays, I like to pay attention to the mechanics of how the author is doing things when I read.

In terms of fanfic, when I was pretty heavily involved in the SH fandom, there was an absolutely amazing writer I still remember - she was very prolific, and her stuff was absolutely S-tier in every way. Beautiful prose, beautiful dialogue, story structure/theme that just got better the more you analyzed it, etc. Reading her stuff felt like reading a really excellent, beautifully-written published novel, and that was the first time it really struck me that fanfic could be... *that*, you know?

Don't get me wrong - I also like quick little character studies, and fun trashy smut, and everything in between! I also love that writing fanfic is something that literally anyone can try their hand at, and no one is necessarily expecting that you're going to sound like James Joyce. There is very little pressure to be "good", however one might try to define that - kind of like singing karaoke, in a bar. 😂 We're all just here to have fun, first and foremost.

BUT - I still remember the impression that made on me. And I still think about her now, when I write.

In the real world of published writing, there are SO MANY wonderful authors whose stuff I've loved. But in terms of... writing style, I guess? Word choice and phrasing, and the way a story is constructed - probably the two biggest standouts for me are Margaret Atwood and Tana French. I admire both of them tremendously.

[toomanybandstocare]

Y’know what would be so cool is if you did like an epilogue kinda thing where she meets Eddie again. Maybe Chrissy broke his heart and he grew up and matured a little or they ended up in the upside down years later somehow or she’s working somewhere and he meets her there like idk I loved it but part of me wanted some sort of closure or reunion after the whole drama but I think a time jump would work cause there’s no way you’d face someone again straight after that I’d literally skip town hahaha. Just an idea of course you don’t have to consider it or even read this or reply to me I’m just greedy for your writing lol

hey, camper!

i needed to sit on this and think about how i wanted to word how i feel about this series before answering.

i've mentioned in a different ask that i think for a lot of people, they seek fanfics and works as a way to escape. they want to ignore real life for a multitude of reasons. and real life just isn't something a lot of people want to read. that's just the way fiction is. we want to immerse ourselves in these fantastical adventures or feel overwhelming emotion or have a slice of comfort.

i didn't want to include closure in this fic, because in real life, you don't always get that. and since this is a primarily an angsty fic, i thought it would best fit here. rather than reader going through angst at the end, they finally let go of their feelings causing eddie to endure angst. then they move on. they go have fun. they enjoy the company of their best friend, steve. they're ready to start the next chapter of their life, how ever they want.

so i will not be writing an epilogue for the Heartbreaker Series- for the time being. i'm certainly open to the idea, but i want to take a break from this series and return to it later with a fresh perspective and new ideas. but i'm not promising i will write one. i wrote this series over the course of a week, and i could tell that, esp in p.4, that it started to feel less emotional and i wasn't as invested in it as i was at first. should i want to come back to this series, i want to improve the ending within the epilogue. and for that, i need to move onto other ideas and focus on fostering my creative writing skills once more. i am not the type of person who can just work one type of work for a long period of time. i like to bounce around!

so i'm going to be focusing on other ideas and stories to help myself grow and feel more confident in my writing again! currently, i'm working on a summer carnival series where each of the ST characters on my roster and i am so excited! i think partially is because my town fair is coming soon, and i'm really looking forward to going again. and i'm currently open for requests, so if you or any other campers have an idea or story you want to send my way or even chat about, i would love to hear from y'all! :)

probably not the answer you were expecting, but i wanted to try and express how i feel about this series. i absolutely love it and i'm so glad it was my re-debut to writing. but something's not clicking with it anymore. so i need to take a step back.

hope you're doing well!

Counselor Mythos, out! <3

[sassysnowperson]

writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

~

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

[deadlyglacier]

20 Questions tag~

I was tagged by @mythicamagic thank you senpai~<3

How many works do you have on AO3?

40 right now, plus 1 that is still hidden because of the SOFA Exchange event.  (I’m still a lil fish.)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

486,920!  That’s so amazing to me!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairytale (18)

FullMetal Alchemist (18)

Mass Effect Trilogy (3)

Let’s Play (Webtoon) (1)

Kingdom Hearts (1) But I hope to write for many more fandoms in the future!  I have ideas for fics for Castlevania, Skyrim, Fallout 4, Last of Us Part II, and more!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#1.  Stardust FemShep/Garrus, Mass Effect Trilogy, Rated Explicit. A retelling of the Shepard/Vakarian love story, with lots (and LOTS) of sexiness, from Garrus' point of view. Starts from before the Omega-4 and will end sometime after the end of ME3. Trying to stay as true to the game as possible, while adding some things happening off camera and a new ending.

#2.  Flamingo Sess/Kag, Inuyasha, Rated Explicit Kagome's method of beating the summer heat attracts a certain demon lord...

#3.  Hawk Sess/Kag, Inuyasha, Rated Explicit Kagome and Sesshomaru discover they have a mutual attraction for each other after a battle and a slight comedic incident brings them together. At first their relationship seems entirely sexual, but eventually evolves into something real. What will this romance mean for Naraku? Or even the future?  *TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 6! MAJOR VIOLENCE AND TRAGEDY* Very, very loosely based on "A Mere Digression" by elle6778

#4.  Daisy Sam/Charles, Let’s Play, Rated Mature Sam wakes up somewhere unfamiliar with a splitting headache with no memory of the night before. Takes place right after the S2 finale.  First chapter was my prediction for what would happen next, and then three other “wishful thinking” chapters happened, lol.

#5.  Chemistry Ed/Winry, FullMetal Alchemist, Rated Mature A look at how the relationship between Ed and Winry developed after Brotherhood ended.  Cute, sweet, funny, and hot (eventually—y'all that know me know I gotta have some NSFW in there).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to respond to everyone, especially when a fic of mine has just been posted, but sometimes I just forget.  If I haven’t responded to your comment, please know it’s just because I’m a big dumb and forgot!  I love getting comments, and I reread them all the time!  I just feel like there’s a time limit to when I can respond to them--if I let too much go by, it’s awkward if I reply.  Gah, but that’s just me getting in my own head, I guess.  I’ll do better!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oof, definitely Psychology, a fic I wrote for RoyEdOTPoly this year.  The prompt I got was dark, and I didn’t see any way around an angsty ending.  Read at your own risk!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Well, aside from the last fic, I try to write happy endings for all my fics!  But, if I have to name names, I’m torn between Zoology (another FullMetal Alchemist fic, RoyEd, for RoyEdOTPoly this year) and Stardust (my Mass Effect fic, which is long, but so worth it, in my opinion).  Both are very fluffy in the end!

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Argh...  I don’t really like crossovers, to be honest.  I actively avoid them when looking for fics to read.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought of writing them myself.  (I’m a total hypocrite, I know.)  I had an idea for an Inuyasha x The Sims fic, years ago, that I never did anything with.  The premise was basically Inuyasha and Kagome would get trapped in the game somehow (via the jewel or magic or something), and they’d be controlled by Souta, Kagome’s friends, Hojo--all sorts of different people who think the fact that Kagome and Inuyasha are in the game is just some kind of silly mod.  I probably won’t write it, so if anyone is interested in that crazy idea, have at it!  You have my blessing. <3 I also have a crazy crossover idea for what I call an “Ultimate OT3″ of mine that I’ve mentioned to my friends, but I haven’t actually written down yet:  Sesshomaru/Alucard/Sebastian Michaelis.  So be on the lookout for that!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I wouldn’t call it “hate” so much as “mansplaining,” but I have gotten a couple of comments that made my eyebrow twitch on Stardust--both on AO3 and FFN.  Just dudes (and I’m fairly certain they were dudes, just from their tone) trying to explain why a certain plot twist wouldn’t work, or tell me how to save Sidonis in the actual game (which I already knew, that person just didn’t read what I wrote). I’ve also gotten a comment on one of my more controversial fics, Hippology, on FFN, where the person asked me if I thought my summary was K-Rated (which, admittedly, it does need to be for the site, and mine wasn’t--because of a single word).  I changed it and messaged them saying it was fixed.  Going to that commenter’s profile, however, proved to be fairly enlightening...  They’re nuts.  They have another profile, too.  Read at your own risk.  Yikes. There’s also a team of people on FFN who make it their life’s mission to report stories with rule violations.  I’ve gotten a comment from one of them as well.  These people are not mods, they just like to pretend they are--one of them even made their name look official!  “CU Administration,” gtfo dude. I also recently got one of my fics removed from FFN.  It wasn’t even one of my sexiest ones!  They put me in timeout for 48 hours, and when I was finally able to publish something new on the site again, I posted Hippology (my centaur smut), and it’s still up as I type this.  (Wonder how long it’ll take them to notice?)  And since the fic that got taken down was a SessKag fic, I’m thinking it might have been a petty SessRinner who reported it to the “authorities” of FFN, because another friend of mine got hers taken down not long after mine, and it was also SessKag.  Just my tinfoil theory, anyway!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, yes, yes.  It’s practically all I write.  I do all sorts of smut, from romantic, sensual stuff, to specific kinks, to monsterfucking--all that good stuff.  Can’t change me~<3

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so.  No one has asked me if they can translate one, anyway.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!  I’m open to the idea, and I’ve had little discussions with my fic-writing buddies about it, but nothing’s come out of it just yet.  Keep your eyes peeled!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh, now come on!  I can’t pick just one!  But I’ll give you a top 3 (in no particular order, because they change places a lot, depending on how obsessed I am with them at the moment). Inuyasha:  Sess/Kag FullMetal Alchemist:  Roy/Ed Mass Effect:  Garrus/FemShep

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a couple of stories that I deleted from my original FFN account that I’d like to re-write and re-post on AO3, but I don’t think I’ll ever get around to it.  There were a couple of Inu/Kag fics I had in-progress, and then a Koug/Kag fic.  I recently rewrote and reposted my SessKag fic from years ago, Hawk, on FFN, AO3, and Dokuga!  So maybe all hope isn’t lost.  I’m even writing a sequel for Hawk! All the stories I have in-progress right now I plan on finishing.  At some point, lol.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, without a doubt.  It’s my favorite thing to write, aside from smut, of course--which is another strength of mine.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions, ugh.  I try to do them well, but I always feel like they get stale.  So I keep them somewhat vague, because in my mind, I think readers will fill in the gaps themselves whether you describe something immaculately or not--they’ll see what they want to see, and that is totally fine in my book!  Or maybe I’m just making excuses, lol.  I’ll only describe something in a lot of detail if I want the reader to focus on that--usually an outfit, accessory, or weapon--otherwise, I leave it up to their imagination (I don’t want manipulate it too much, I suppose).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Wildly unnecessary unless that author speaks the language as well, or if certain words already exist in the fandom’s translations (ex. “youkai,” “alkahestry,” etc).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha, and the fic(s) I wrote in the beginning were terrible.  I want to burn all traces of them off the face of the earth.  I was in middle school.  I was young and stupid.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I gotta go with Stardust.  It’s the longest fic I’ve ever completed at more than 160k words.  I was so immensely proud when I typed “The End,” and I was able to say to myself “I did it.”

I tag: @glassesmcfancyhair @willowsrain