#this is like a one page quick idea i needed out of system + while experimenting with a diff style of comic formatting than im used to

[monsterdoll14]

I wrote something for this! Beneath the cut so it’s not a giant block on somebody’s page. But it really liked this idea! @beneathsilverstars

You're sitting in your car, staring at a clock with all the power your, admittedly tiny, body possesses. You said you would arrive at her house at four, but you showed up at three thirty! Which is way too early to show up at someone's house so they could drink your blood, are you crazy? Madam Odile was going to think you were so weird, stars!

You take a deep breath in, and out. You repeat the motion two more times as you wait for the clock to tick. Two minutes to four o’clock, and maybe it was okay to show up a minute earlier but what if it wasn't!? You couldn't risk that! She might refuse to drink your blood if you offended her, and then you wouldn't get paid and then you couldn't pay rent…

Okay, you could wait two more minutes. You glance at the clock again, and it's already 4:03. Where have you been the past five minutes?!

You jump out the car, steady yourself, and hurry towards the front door.

“Donating” blood to vampires for money is a pretty common practice, since they usually pay pretty well and don't need to take too much blood. You can donate a couple times a month without any major health issues . Plus, with agencies dedicated to organizing blood matches between humans and vampires, it's not a particularly dangerous job. It's also proven to be the only job you can keep.

Of course it is, though. You're a human blood bag. There's not much to screw up as long as you stay still and don't act like a creep.

The match you're currently freaking out about is with a middle aged woman named Odile, who seemed decently wealthy by the size of her house and the fact she can afford rent in this economy. You envy her the tiniest bit about that last one.

She opened the door, looking exactly the same as her photos, and you smile at her.

“Nice to meet you! I'm Siffrin, I'm your donor for today!” Customer service mode, on!

She gives you a quick once over before nodding at something and moving to let you in, “Odile. Please come in.”

You hop over the doorway and carefully take off your shoes before you follow her to her couch. Thank the stars, you didn't really feel comfortable anywhere else. Bedroom was… weird, and the kitchen felt like you were just a piece of meat. Not that that was particularly inaccurate, but you couldn't stop yourself from feeling bad about it.

You sit on the couch where Odile gestures for you and take off your gloves. They are kinda scratchy, but you don't want to have to deal with strangers giving you weird looks about the marks lining your wrist. Odile doesn't comment on them, which is yet another win!

“So, how would you like to–”

“One moment.” Odile holds up a hand and walks away. You sit awkwardly on the couch, gloves off, waiting for her. Your skin starts to crawl a bit. She wasn't just going to leave you here,be right? You couldn't possibly have screwed up already. Unless he saw the marks on your wrist and thought you were some sort of weirdo who enjoyed getting bitten by vampires–oh, stars, what if she thought you were some sort of perverted creep? Should you leave? What if–

“Alright, I'm back. Is apple juice ok? I don't have any iron supplements, that was thoughtless of me. My apologies.”

Uh. you… didn't usually get something to drink when you did this..? You kept stuff in your car since you tended to get kicked out the moment you were finished. You could hardly blame any of those people, you didn't like strangers in your house either. Even if you did tend to need to wait alone in your car until you weren't woozy anymore, and your heating/cooling systems gave out a while ago…

Crab, you forgot to respond, “that's fine! Uh, thank you!”

Odile nods and makes her way over to you, setting the glass on a coaster on the table. She sits a bit away from you, which is appreciated but also slightly disappointing. You offer her your wrist. Better not to give her an option in case she tries your neck. The last time someone did that it was… a lot of touch from a stranger,

She takes it carefully in her hand, and you flinch a bit. She's holding you so, so carefully it's almost ticklish. She pauses, long enough for you to recollect yourself.

“Have you washed your hands?” she asks. Pretty common question, should not make you feel as dirty as it does.

“Yes ma’am.” You watch as she nods, mostly to herself, then sinks her teeth into your vein. You flinch again but she holds your wrist just firmly enough that the skin doesn't tear on her fangs. Thank the universe, you could not bleed all over her furniture. You didn't even have a couch at your house, but you knew how expensive they were. You wait, perfectly still even when you start to get a bit dizzy, enjoying the gentle touch on your wrists and odd intoxicated feeling you got whenever a vampire bites you.

… Which is disgusting, you shouldn't feel that way. This was a business transaction, stop being weird. It wasn't meant to be pleasant.

Odile finishes surprisingly quickly, pulling off and pressing a black towel to your wrist. You take it from there, holding the towel with one hand as you eye your apple juice. You definitely want a drink now, but you don't know when she’s going to ask you to leave.

She nudges it towards you, and you carefully accept. Geez, she didn't take much, but you've already donated a couple times this month. You feel woozier than usual.

“You should wait an hour or two before you leave,” Odile comments, standing and walking out, “it'll be late then, but I don't have anything to give you for dinner, as you can imagine. I hope you don't mind.”

An hour… or two? The longest you usually even needed was thirty minutes. Was this Odile’s first time doing this? But you can't imagine she was turned recently if she didn't bother keeping food in the house. Not to mention the illegal nature of being turned in the first place. It still happened, but it wasn't very common? Most were just born vampires these days.

“Well?” Odile's standing in front of you, stars! You needed to stop zoning out! What did she even say…?

“Yes, ma’am,” you mumble, hoping it's the right answer. There's no adverse response, so you think it's probably fine? She sits on an armchair next to you, far enough away that she couldn't grab you but close enough that she can watch you comfortably. She takes out a book and begins to read, and you sip your apple juice in bafflement. What was she even doing? …did she want seconds?

… You don't think you have it in you to give any more blood tonight. If she asks, you don't think you can really refuse, but you really don't want to. You reach for your gloves.

“Don't you need bandages?” she asks, arching her eyebrows.

You pause, gloves in hand, and need a second before you can fully process what she said, “not… really? I don't have any on hand, anyway.” You slump a little at the effort it takes to form coherent responses; which is probably cause for concern. Geez, you're tired.

“Hm. I'll remember next time, then.” Ah, so she was a repeat customer. You got those sometimes, but they usually didn't linger for fear of forming an actual connection with a human of all things. There's another pause before Odile speaks again, “why are you doing this? So often, too.”

That was a question you received pretty often, even from the quietest of vampires. To be fair, Odile didn't seem chatty to be exact, but apparently she had a curious streak.

“Well… the pay is good,” you tell her, cradling your drink. And it's the only way anyone will ever touch me, remains unsaid.

“Hm. money problems, then?” she asks, tone distant. Seems like she's already lost interest. You zone out a bit, then realize you should probably say something in response.

“...I've got plenty in the bank, just not the blood kind” you mumble, not particularly paying attention.

Odile laughs.

…

…oh!

You made her laugh!

A dazed smile makes its way onto your face. You feel warm, and there are little fireworks in your stomach because you made her laugh! This means she definitely doesn't hate you, right? Sure, she was gentle earlier, but that's a bit of a requirement with the more finicky veins. Can't have you bleeding out and ruining her nice furniture. But! You made her laugh! So even if she thinks you're gross for being this desperate for money, she probably doesn't hate you too much!

… or does she? Maybe this time was just a fluke. You should probably try again so you can be extra sure she doesn't hate you. Just in case. Something about blood, or banks, or vampires… but what if you offended her!? Most vampires didn't like your jokes!

You should be a little more vague. Just to be safe.

“Um, how many apples grow on a tree?” you ask, gesturing to your drink a bit. Odile gives you a confused look.

“Pardon?”

“All of them!” you tell her, grinning. She purses her lips, but doesnt look particularly annoyed. More confused, which was not the reaction you were going for.

“I… see.”

Quick, try again, “sorry, I tried to make a joke, but there were no fruits to my labor!”

Odile snorts at that one, turning the page of her book, “I see. You poor thing.”

You giggle, and she shakes her head at your next few attempts to make her laugh. Regardless, an hour later you're feeling much better and leave. You don't even have to sit in your car very long before you feel safe to drive, which is good because the cold has gotten a lot worse over the past few days. You should start carrying heat pads.

I continued this on AO3 with the name “Damothgremlin” in case you’re interested! It’s called In Blood Bags And Time.

thinkign about odile with fangies,,

au where odile is a vampire and siffrin "donates blood" for money (classic occupation for someone lonely and hopeless) and siffrin says something funny while woozily recovering and odile did NOT expect that from him and laughs and siffrin is like. oh fuck yes i'm getting a good grade in being vampire food.

it's not even a purposeful dumb joke he's just a little out of it and saying things. which odile usually gets annoyed when people go all no-filter and say things to her that she is not interested in hearing or god forbid having to respond to. but siffrin is just being cute and earnest and still not too chatty!

and then siffrin is like I MADE HER LSUGH I HAVE TO KEEP BEING FUNNY and his actual attempts at jokes are so weak that they wrap back around to being entertaining. odiles like mhm im sure there was a joke in there somewhere maybe try again in twenty minutes.

they're going through an agency at first, but odile gets annoyed at how large of a cut the agency takes, but it's easier and safer than trying to arrange something with a stranger independently. but she really likes siffrin so after a couple times she's like. no pressure but if you'd rather get paid a little more we could just continue doing this informally. and siffrin is like YES PLEASE bc they really need the money and they like odile too!

but then siffrin starts donating too much blood bc he's still going through the agency as often as allowed And going to odile independently. it's pretty obvious pretty quickly though, and as soon as she catches on odile lectures them and says she won't keep doing this if siffrin won't take care of themself, and siffrin gets all sad (<- hates to be rejected) and is like oh.. ok.. guess i'll leave... and odile is like oh my god no you still have to drink your orange juice first and you should not have even driven HERE in the first place. *i* will drive you home. which has siffrin all ?? bc wow mixed messages (<- has never been cared about before). but odile finds out that siffrin lives in the shittiest apartment ever and is always this close away from getting evicted and long story short siffrin ends up moving in with odile.

odile is like. well. this is kind of a problematic setup but definitely better than the alternative.

[thebrainrotsreal]

aaa, just came across your and avis’ AU today and i just want to say its so AMAZING 🥹🥹!!! Would love to see more of Wasp and Mark from you guys 💓

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! (♡°▽°♡) @avisisisis has such incredible ideas that rlly brought it to life when we kept chatting about it! I def gonna draw more of these two, because oh my goodness I love thinking about them! Working on a rlly quick comic to explore an idea, (just one page rlly) so here's a sneak peak! :D

Bonus fun fact for ya, I will always always always draw Wasp with two downward curls on his left side, while Mark always has a one curl on his left.

[lifehacksthatwork]

Just a bunch of Useful websites - Updated for 2023

Removed/checked all links to make sure everything is working (03/03/23). Hope they help!

Sejda - Free online PDF editor.

Supercook - Have ingredients but no idea what to make? Put them in here and it'll give you recipe ideas.

Still Tasty - Trying the above but unsure about whether that sauce in the fridge is still edible? Check here first.

Archive.ph - Paywall bypass. Like 12ft below but appears to work far better and across more sites in my testing. I'd recommend trying this one first as I had more success with it.

12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.

Where Is This - Want to know where a picture was taken, this site can help.

TOS/DR - Terms of service, didn't read. Gives you a summary of terms of service plus gives each site a privacy rating.

OneLook - Reverse dictionary for when you know the description of the word but can't for the life of you remember the actual word.

My Abandonware - Brilliant site for free, legal games. Has games from 1978 up to present day across pc and console. You'll be surprised by some of the games on there, some absolute gems.

Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.

Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.

PatchMyPC - Alternative to ninite with over 300 app options to keep upto date. Free for home users.

Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.

Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.

LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.

Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.

Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.

CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.

Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.

I Have No TV - A collection of documentaries for you to while away the time. Completely free.

Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.

Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.

Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.

My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.

Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.

Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.

Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.

Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.

Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.

Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.

Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.

This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.

Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.

BitWarden – Free open source password manager.

Just Beam It - Peer to peer file transfer. Drop the file in on one end, click create link and send to whoever. Leave your pc on that page while they download. Because of how it works there are no file limits. It's genuinely amazing. Best file transfer system I have ever used.

Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.

ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.

Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.

Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.

Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.

myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.

DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.

Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.

For even more useful sites, there is an expanded list that can be found here.

[svt-nari]

Hiii! Can you do a post about the NANA TOUR PLEASEEE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

a/n: i finished watching nana tour a few days ago and finally decided to write about nari’s experience there! hope you like it bae <3 (not proofread yet, sorry for any mistakes!)

nana tour highlighted moments:

nari’s mission:

“oh~ i’m excited to get my mission!”, she squirmed in her seat, a large smile present on her face.

“okay, okay.” na pd laughed, messing with the cards. “pick it up!”

nari eagerly picked up the card, laughing out loud when she read her mission. she looked at the crew in disbelief, loving how easy her challenge was.

“it’s so easy! it’ll be over in minutes!”, she laughed.

“what is it, tell us,”

she turned the card around, giggling while the camera focused on the words written on it. ‘get at least five members to join you in a dance performance.’ was written in korean on the paper, nari giggling once again as she thought of them dancing.

“i hope it’s as easy as you say. i think they’ll be doubting every step you take.” na pd laughed.

“oh~ get a few drinks in their system and we are ready!”

dinari moment:

nari was peacefully laying down on the ground while reading a random book coups put in her bag so she could distract herself, a small smile present on her face from reading the little notes he left on the pages he thought that needed to be highlighted. she heard humming behind her but could care less about it as she was immersed by the book.

dino sighed as he entered the living room, plopping down on the floor next to nari and scooting over to read the book with her.

“was it coups hyung who wrote this?”, he questioned, smiling slightly at how cute the couple was.

nari nodded, sighing right after. she missed him a lot, she wished he could be with them. sadly it was impossible due to his condition, he needed to rest as much as possible to come back soon.

chan sighed too, a bit sad at seeing her upset about the whole ordeal. he scooted closer to her and gave nari a side hug, snuggling closer to her side. nari smiled and returned the hug, sneakily putting her hand in his head to pet it, just like she did back in their trainee days. the both of them sighed contentedly, opting to stay in this moment for a little longer.

little did they know that some of the other members were watching them adoringly from afar, taking pictures to capture the adorable moment forever.

mission time!

nari was feeling a little bored after eating dinner and decided to lay a bit on the couch, doing nothing but scrolling through tiktok. as she ended up scrolling through a challenge, nari suddenly got an idea to start her own mission. sneakily she sent it on the group chat, asking if anyone wanted to do it with her.

enthusiastically, hoshi, seungkwan, mingyu and vernon agreed to it. nari got confused when the american boy agreed but accepted it nonetheless, though, she still needed one more member to agree so she could be done with the mission.

me anyone else wanna join? we need one more person to be in sync like the video…

junie ⁉️ if there’s still room i’m in!

nari laughed mischievously to herself and got up, sending a quick message so the guys would come towards her. she quickly set up her phone and waited for them to come, doing a few touch ups on her clothes.

“noona~”, seungkwan sang playfully, hugging her arm.

“kwanie~”, she imitated him, squeezing his cheek softly. “where are the others?”, she questioned him as only seungkwan and vernon came to the living room.

“ah, mingyu is changing, hoshi needed to use the bathroom and i don’t know about jun.” vernon quickly explained and nari thanked him, asking them if they wanted to practice the quick choreography.

just as they started rewatching the video, jun sneakily appeared behind them, softly putting his hand on nari’s shoulder. that ended up startling her, in which she ended up screaming from the jumpscare.

“jun-ah!”, she yelled out, wide eyed. “you almost killed me!”

he sheepishly smiled and apologized, giving nari a quick pat on the head as they went back to watching the video. the four started to learn the choreography little by little, laughing here and there whenever they messed up.

“i can’t believe this!”, hoshi fake-cried. “you started without me!?”

they only mocked him, mingyu laughed at that and joined them in a newly dressed shirt that he bought in italy and some sweatpants. they quickly got the choreography after that and started to take different videos of the dance to decided which one got better.

as they finished, nari smirked naughtily towards a camera and giggled, sending the video to cheol with ‘i just made these dorks do my mission without them knowing 😋’ written underneath the sent video.

revealing herself:

“so, nari, did you complete your mission?”, na pd asked, pushing his glasses higher. “you said it was easy so i expect you did.”

nari giggled and gave him a thumbs up, the other members’ eyes widening while they all started to speculate what her mission could possibly be.

“noona, you were so quiet the whole day! there’s no way you did it!”, chan wondered.

“right, nari-ah.”, wonwoo interrupted. “even i thought you were a bit too quiet, that’s a lot…”

well, they weren’t exaclty wrong. nari had in fact been quiet the whole day, the reason being her missing cheol more than expected. she was having fun, sure, but being away from him made her feel a bit sad at times. nari even called him a few times that day – something that she does on a daily basis, but not more than two times per day. seungcheol found it weird too, but since he also missed her he didn’t ask about it.

“i told you why i was quiet when kwanie interrogated me at the kitchen.”, she laughed slightly. “but i did complete my mission!”

“can you show us?”

immediately she got her phone and turned it towards the entire table, bursting in a laughing fit when she saw their reactions. the members in the video were feeling even more betrayed, with seungkwan and jun having agape mouths and shocked looks on their faces. vernon had his iconic ‘o’ expression while mingyu and hoshi were pointing at her in disbelief of the situation.

“so, can you tell us your mission again?”, na pd laughed, loving the chaos.

“well…”, she hid her phone, smiling sweetly. “i had to get at least five members to perform a dance with me!”

then chaos broke once again as everyone felt betrayed by their older sister.

whisper game:

as they were in a uneven number, the members decided to let nari pick whoever she wanted to pair up with. she ended up being the last member to go, so she decided on seungkwan. they all – but seungkwan – complained about her choice and the only answer she gave them was:

“he’s funnier than all of you combined, so shut up.”, which made them burst out laughing at her nonchalant expression.

nari’s head bopped to the beat, she was so distracted by it that she didn’t even see seungkwan trying to get her attention. ‘drunk-dazed’ by enhypen was blasting her ears, the woman being unable to contain herself was dancing to her heart’s content. the boys laughed at her carefree attitude, dancing as if there was no one else there.

“HWANG NARI!”, seungkwan yelled in her face. “let’s start?”

startled she nodded, facing forward as mingyu stands behind her with the written word towards seungkwan only. everyone laughed as soon as they saw it, going crazy as they knew fans would love this specific part of the episode. the word ‘wedding’ was written in korea hadnwriting, seungkwan being open mouthed while trying to think of what to say.

“okay!”, he started. “ring!”, he shouted.

“RING!”, nari yelled out, receiving a nod from seungkwan and laughs from the other people present.

“woah, noona’s voice can get loud!”, vernon said impressed.

“special ring!”, the boy tried once again.

“oh!”, she thought. “OH! ENGAGEMENT!”

“OTHER WORD FOR THAT!”, seungkwan said enthusiastically.

“proposal?”, she wondered, receiving a head shake in response. “wedding?”, she said, getting an excited nod from her dongsaeng. “WEDDING! oh-“, she pouted. “i miss cheollie now.”

the staff cooed at her, the boys either rolling their eyes or booing her words. nari just shrugged, claiming ‘you are just jealous that you won’t get married like me’ which made them boo her even louder.

-

“HWANG NARI!”, seungkwan stressed. “PAY ATTENTION TO MY MOUTH!”

“i don’t think our leader is gonna like seungkwan’s words…”, jun wondered, which made everyone roar in laughter.

“YOU DON’T MAKE SENSE!”, nari yelled back. “i can’t hear you anyways…”

seungkwan sighed stressed, trying to keep himself sane while playing the game with her. mingyu laughed while holding the big card while silently asking if seungkwan wanted to pass the ‘yogurt’ word in which the youngest nodded in defeat. though, the next word made him smile big as he knew she would guess it right away.

“FAVORITE ICE CREAM!”, he yelled.

“MINE OR YOURS?”, nari yelled back.

the members were all slightly cringing from how loud the two were speaking, though they were being the funniest duo in the game. nari seemed unbothered at all times while seungkwan stressed over trying to make her understand what he wanted to say.

“YOURS!”

“oh.”, she thought. “i don’t have one tho…”

everyone bursted out laughing at that.

“THE ONE YOU EAT THE MOST!”, seungkwan tried once again.

“oh!”, she smiled happily. “cookies and cream.”

“right!”, seungkwan smiled. “now a cookie brand.”

“a what?”

“cookie,” he said slowly. “brand.”

nari scratched her head slightly as she thought of something to say. a sudden look of realization crossed her features as she stopped in her tracks, smiling big as she shouted out her answer. quick images of her cat flashing through her mind

“OREO!”, she jumped in her seat. “OREO! OREO!”

seungkwan nodded to her and was ready to say she succeeded, though, right on cue the timer set off, indicating their time to invert positions had come. they quickly complied and seungkwan sighed out once at his new seat.

“god…”, he took his headphones off for a breather. “i feel like i just lost ten years of life…”

“well,” nari smiled sweetly at him, getting up to stand in front of him. “sorry not sorry an mianhaeseo mianhae~”, she started to sing and dance to itzy’s song, making everyone laugh once again.

all rights reserved © svt-nari, 2024

[applestorms]

where is the justice full lyrical analysis GO GO GO

TL;DR i'm of the opinion that many people give light a Lot more credit for being a Paragon of The People than he really deserves in this song, so i'd like to take a closer look at the (english) lyrics here-- not only to understand some of the deeper (highly questionable) ideas light is establishing/implying, but also why it may be especially easy to skip over those more dubious implications, unlike in other DN adaptations. see full analysis below the cut, this is Long.

[Light] Where is the justice When the guilty all go free? Why don’t we lock them up And throw away the key?

direct meaning: light begins this song questioning the effectiveness of the justice system. from these lines, it is clear he is questioning the fact that "the guilty" have the ability to "all go free," though it is unclear if he is criticizing the fact that some guilty parties are able to get away with their crimes or the simple fact that prisoners are free to return to society after serving their sentence.

while the first meaning seems potentially easier to assume, the next two lines perhaps point towards the second, implying that "the guilty," should be locked up forever-- typically, you don't throw away a key just to get it back later.

questionable implications: a couple things here. first, light has an underlying claim here that the meaning of "justice" is purely to punish the guilty, to quarantine them away from the rest of Good society. note that he is making this assumption without any clarification about who these "guilty" parties are, what crimes they have committed or otherwise. second, he is also setting up a kind of false dichotomy, saying that the guilty currently are free but the correct course of action is that they are instead locked away. again, no rehabilitation is possible under this view, and no nuance either.

[Light's Teacher] I see a young man’s anger Burning in your eyes;

direct meaning: light's teacher is pointing out light's naïveté ("young man"), though this criticism is softened somewhat by the fact that he also points out his passion for the subject. note that the light in light's eyes here is "anger," and the connotations associated with that emotion-- action, violence, a lack of clear logical thinking. light burns, quick and powerful, but with little discretion for the details.

implications: by describing light in this way, he is establishing light as a very emotionally-driven character, but also as one who has perhaps not had the time nor experience to fully think through his ideals. light's justice is a naïve retribution.

[Light] What you see is my impatience With your noble compromise;

direct meaning: light pushes back against his teacher's criticism, clarifying that his "anger" is more like "impatience," an annoyance with "your noble compromise." light is not stupid, according to himself, he understands the ways in which the legal system (which he sees his teacher as fully ascribing to) is supposed to work, but questions its effectiveness regardless.

to light, this legal system as it currents stands is a "noble compromise," something that people feel they Must stick to for the sake of upholding their noble character, but ends up leading to a questionable execution of justice, which compromises final judgements. i'm assuming this connects back to this page:

questionable implications: light's primary push in this song is towards a fully black and white justice system, wherein The Guilty are Punished and The Good receive Justice (the ability to see the guilty get punished). he is not willing to concede any gray morality here, no "compromise" ever. he is also very quick to write off the idea that he might be getting too caught up in his own emotions about injustice, ironically a bit of an emotional move.

[Light] Show me what’s right about the wrongs that we allow Real people need to feel protected here and now; This whole damn system’s broken way beyond repair It’s just law Not law and order; Not much good and seldom fair;

direct meaning: light continues to question why the legal system allows for what he sees to be compromises in the execution of justice, arguing that "real people," The Good, have the right to feel protected by such a system. he states his points overtly here: the legal system is broken, it is unordered, it is unfair. nothing good comes of it.

questionable implications: a few points. first, light is once again Very vague about what exactly these "wrongs," are that the legal system is allowing, which guilty are actually going free under which circumstances. second, light is assuming that "real people," which is itself quite frankly an incredibly loaded term when it comes to how dehumanized his view of The Guilty is, do not feel protected by the legal system, that The Good live in fear under a system that fails to guard them against evil.

i think people often get stuck on the line, "This whole damn system's broken way beyond repair," since it has the potential to greatly emotionally resonate, what with its underlying pessimism and cynical view about the world. even in my own views, there are plenty of systems that i think are plenty broken. where this line becomes questionable is again in how vague it is, allowing for many interpretations of exactly how the (legal) system is broken. take note of this not only in the context of how people interpret this song, but also for the next few lines in-context.

[Light's Classmate #1] Laws were made for everyone We’re treated all the same;

direct meaning: a classmate enters the conversation, stating a somewhat basic fact-- that the laws were created for everybody, and that everybody is all treated the same.

EDIT: actually, listening to this again, i genuinely can't tell if this is a classmate or light's teacher again?? regardless, i think my points still stand, just push the part about the other students being convinced by light to a bit later in the song.

(questionable) implications: a third party is now introduced with light's classmate here. this conversation between light and his teacher is not one-to-one-- there are other parties listening in the room who may be convinced one way or another depending on how the arguments go. thus, while this is a somewhat obvious statement on the surface, it is being stated in response to light to get him to expand on his claims.

i'd also like to bring up one point that i think may be relevant moving forward: the difference between normative and descriptive claims. in ethics, we typically use this to describe the difference between claims about how things should be versus how things already are.

light makes a lot of claims in this song that are presented as descriptive, implying that this is simply How The World/Legal System Already Is, that we are approaching a system that is already broken. he also makes a lot of claims about how the world should be, that justice should be this kind of starkly black and white Passing of Judgement-- these are the ones that he is less direct about, and that should be more closely questioned imo. don't mix em' up. anyways,

[Light] Till a lawyer’s tricks can fix the blame; What about the victims Waiting for some justice? How can we turn away And say that's just the way things are? What about the families Hiding in their houses All of them afraid to walk the street at night With all their doors locked tight Tell me where is the justice If there's any justice

direct meaning: light responds to his classmate's previous comment, arguing that the system is equal, but that stops once a lawyer can trick the system into allowing their client to go free. he continues, asking-- "What about the victims / Waiting for some justice?" once again painting The Good as pure, innocent victims, afraid to even walk along at night or leave their houses, living in Fear of evil that the legal system has so cruelly allowed to go free.

a very good couple lines in this section: "How can we turn away / And say that's just the way things are?" light wants change. he sees the system as "broken beyond repair," something that must be fully taken down and rebuilt into something better, to help people.

questionable implications: again, light is making the assumption that people already live in fear of Evil that lurks the streets, Good Families that need to be protected by the justice system. there is a non-zero number of universes where light fails to get the death note and ends up being a vigilante superhero, istg. he is also making the (descriptive) claim that victims do not receive the justice they deserve, presumably since The Guilty are Freed.

an interesting point there, actually-- justice for light is about the victims of crimes, not the perpetrators of them (who, as we already established, he doesn't actually see as "real people," not the "families" that need to be protected).

the one sympathetic point in all this that i find myself drifting back to is that big about actually wanting to change. he makes quite a good point about not assuming that this is how the world Must be-- i just find it unfortunate that his Ideal World is so horrendously flat.

[Light's Teacher] Your simple arguments have all been made before The world's not black and white The choice not either, or

direct meaning: light's teacher once again criticizes light's arguments for being surface level and overly black and white. i also think his point about light's arguments having, "all been made before," can connect to his previous point about light being naïve, that he simply hasn't had the experience to recognize that his supposedly New, Improved ideas for how the system can be fixed have already been presented and argued against.

[Light] Perhaps it's time we drain the color from within Till we're back to seeing black and white And wrong and right again

direct meaning: light argues back, saying that his teacher's push to see the nuance is pushing the compromise too far, that we are losing sight of some kind of true morality, "wrong and right," by taking such an approach.

questionable implications: not just questionable tbh, these lines are the most terrifying thing light says in the entire song. it's not even an implication either, really, he just says it outright here-- light wants a black and white justice system. he thinks the only way in which true law and order can be established is by giving up on nuance entirely.

i'm reminded a bit of han feizi's approach to crafting ideal legal systems a bit here, like the extremes of Two Options: Punishment (Death) or Reward (Everything You Could Possibly Dream Of/Desire). wonder if light's a fan...

[Light's Teacher] Overwrought pronouncements won't improve the paradigm [Light] Till lawyers cutting deals becomes a crime;

direct meaning: another back and forth between light and his teacher, with light's teacher once again calling light out on his "overwrought pronouncements," his strong, but overly emotionally-driven claims while light points again back to his strawman of the Corrupt Lawyer cutting deals to let The Evil Guilty go free.

implications: it interests me that light's teacher doesn't really argue against light's claims here by saying this image of this Lawyer doesn't exist, but instead keeps pointing to light's emotional state, how he's pushing for this so passionately but not really thinking through any of the greater implications of his claims. you could maybe see this as what makes the teacher's rebuttals less strong, that he doesn't seem to be matching light's passion with the same Excitement to meaningfully combat any of his underlying points, but i actually think this is quite a measured and good response. light isn't thinking very deeply about this, he's pushing from anger and trying to get the class on his side. it's a bit reminiscent of far right strategies-- hitting emotional buttons, getting the Crowd on your side, giving people hard hitting lines with little substance but no time to think it through. light really would benefit from trying to understand his emotions but but, i mean. what else is new LOL

[Light and Ensemble] Let the corporations make the regulations And all go unaccountable when everything goes wrong; Let the rich and famous get away with murder; Every time a high-priced mouth piece starts to talk His client gets to walk; Tell me where is the justice? If there’s any justice;

direct meaning: the ensemble is officially on light's side now, singing behind him as he throws out his criticisms of "the corporations," of, "the rich and famous," who can apparently get away with murder. notably, light is making a Money point here-- it's the rich, the corporate, who are able to get away with crimes.

questionable implications: uhh source?? is light trying to say that O.J. getting away with it means that the legal system has to kill all criminals for justice to be served? (#joke, i know, i know, he's japanese.)

this is where the normative vs. descriptive claims thing becomes really relevant to me. light, on the surface, is making descriptive claims about how the world Is-- that corporations decide what is and isn't justice, that anybody rich enough can do whatever they want, so long as they have enough to pay off a lawyer. and he may not be entirely off about all of these claims!! the problem here is instead to be found in his underlying normative claims, that the way to fix this is through a purely black and white legal system.

light presents this argument like he only has to sell you on the first part, on the fact that the System Is Broken and people can get away with horrible acts if they have enough money. at least in this section, he does not clarify What his justice is, or any of the horrible implications his ideal system to "fix" all of this might have, though he bounds those two points up in such a way that it feels natural to accept both.

this is where i think some people get the idea that light is a Comrade fighting Capitalism or some shit. it's quite easy to see and get on board with his descriptive claims about how broken the world is (feels), but lose sight of his underlying normative claims about how this Should be fixed. light doesn't think the problem is capitalism here, that's something You have to bring to the table-- but he keeps his arguments vague enough here that it's really easy to do so.

[Light] Where is the justice [Students] Tell me where? [Light] For all the victims? [Students] Tell me where? [Light] Where is the justice? What good is law that can’t punish those who break it?

direct meaning: similar points from before. again, light describes justice as something that must be found and given to "the victims" (of what?), calling the law useless for its inability to enact (his view) of justice (or what light thinks justice should be).

[Light's Classmate #2] Politicians make their speeches all day long; While judges pushing pencils mostly get it wrong; [Ensemble] Mostly get it wrong!

direct meaning: same thing, but he adds politicians to the list of those corrupt. the only thing i wanna add here is that the bit about "pushing pencils," is quite a nice bit of foreshadowing. anyway,

[Light's Classmate #3] Instead of loopholes for the laws to fall between; Let some good old fashioned payback Grease the wheels of the machine; [Ensemble] Grease the wheels of the machine

direct meaning: another classmate again arguing in favor of light's ideas, saying that we should drop the loopholes and morally gray areas to get some "good old fashioned payback," instead.

questionable implications: the class is really getting on board with light by this point in the song. note the shift also in the ideas they're presenting-- while classmates #1 and #2 were still mostly focusing on descriptive claims earlier, here classmate #3 points more towards light's normative claims about how the legal system should be. "good old fashioned payback," indeed.

also interesting that the claim they reiterate here is light's point about how the Only way a "victim" of [crime] could ever be fully satisfied or happy again is through this kind of state-mandated Revenge, that The Guilty must suffer/die/be locked away forever in order for The Good to live well. there's a lot of arguments against capital punishment to bring up against this point, but considering the length of this post as is, i don't think i really have the space for that =3=" regardless, i think this says a lot about light's worldview as is.

ANYWAYS. the rest of the song is basically just reiterations of the exact same lines light said before, notably including the lines about "families in their houses," and lots and lots of questioning about where that goddamn justice is. so, to end this off, i suppose i'll interrogate those more general points just a little-- both the title of the song itself, and its core themes in the context of the full story.

"Where Is The Justice?" is such a fascinating way of kicking off this musical, particularly in how it characterizes Justice itself as this lost thing that must be Found, setting up the idea that light himself playing the role of KIRA manages to Become Justice (or, his view of it, anyway). it is also interesting in how it show's light's relationship with the people around him, not only in terms of how he gets the rest of the class on his side by the end of the song, but also how his teacher critiques him earlier on. it's kind of a minor point, but i think that back-and-forth alone really does a lot to set up the space that L's character will inevitably fill later in the story, how he matches light's underlying Passion and Temperament (and lack of any care for deeper morals) in such a way that would lead to their mutual demise.

for all my frustrations with how this song is often interpreted, i actually think this is a pretty decent depiction of pre-KIRA light, at least within this format. my main critique is that i think it may perhaps be truer to believe that light never really comes to these kinds of conclusions until after he gets the notebook, but, hey. you can only have so many songs, and you've gotta start somewhere.

that being said... why do so many people so easily accept this song as a Real and Good critique of the justice system, even going so far as to say that musical light is somehow more morally good or righteous than any other depiction? (a point that i certainly Do Not agree with, if this post has somehow not already made that clear).

i suppose, to me, it all comes back to that normative vs. descriptive claims distinction. people emotionally resonate with the problems that light brings up, the evil that he sees in the world, and in particular his pessimism about the structures around us and questions about whether or not they actually do what they should.

what they fail to see, and what he somehow manages to get away through how carefully his arguments are crafted here, is the deeper implications of his solution-- the dehumanization of The Guilty, his dubious claims about the necessity of such a violent and stark Revenge to make the Good, Pure Victims feel truly safe or satiated, and all the many greater harms that come from such a complete lack of any nuance.

i believe it was @moonlarked who also brought up the fact that, unlike most other adaptations, we don't hear light's internal monologue here, meaning that we're not privy to the same kinds of snark or casual cruelty that light has the sense not to say out loud. in that sense, perhaps this song is actually one of the better depictions to show how light Can actually be quite a charismatic and convincing speaker, so long as you don't think too hard about what he's not saying out loud. (maybe that's why L got so insane about him? lol)

[theresattrpgforthat]

How about any TTRPGs set underwater that aren't horror themed?

THEME: Underwater Games.

Hello friend! I am so sorry that your asks got eaten - I'm glad to have them back! (It looks like Tabletop Trick or Treat unearthed a few gems.)

Now, let's see what kind of underwater games I can fish up for you!

Deepwater Enclaves, by kiryas.

Just plain old air pollution? A failed weather control experiment? Or more sinister forces? Nobody will know for sure why earth cooled below a dark mantle of clouds in the 1980s. Agriculture could not adapt fast enough and when conventional battles for the few remaining natural resources close to the equatorial line erupted into full-scale nuclear war, humanity was on the brink of extinction. Less than five hundred thousand mostly malnourished, freezing humans were left, when the year 2000 began.

This game is about venturing from a safe Community into the unknown. At the core are taking risks for your loved ones; sometimes this is at odds with your individual motives.

Deepwater Enclaves is a Rooted in Trophy game that contains a number of roll tables with evocative choices, and a community creation that involves the entire table. As players, you play both your character and a member of the community who is important to someone else. You play through a series of scenes, structured in a similar way to the way you might set up a scene in a tv show.

To participate in a scene, if you are not one of the original characters set to play a role, other players must spend a token. These tokens are also used to affect outcomes from when you roll, as well as reduce risks that may pop up as you play. You need two different colours or shades of d6’s for this: one colour will represent regular dice, while the other will represent “dark” dice, which raise the stakes whenever you roll with them.

Overall, I think this game is about exploration and survival. I think it has the potential to be a horror game if you want it to be, but you can also alter the tone to redirect the story towards something more dramatic, perhaps centring the game more on your community, and awarding the players with enough tokens to give them the ability to pull themselves out of danger.

Carcinauts!, by Hessan Yongdi.

Carcinauts! is inspired by a famous British children's animated TV show that takes place in and around the sea. You play animal explorers, scientists, and rescuers. Joined by your many friends and helpers, you seek to learn more about our fascinating oceans. Make the world a better place for the animals who live in and around the Great Blue Sea!

Based on the prolific Dominus system created by members of the Brazilian RPG community, Carcinauts! is designed to allow for quick play without a game master. This makes it idea for a solo session in the Sea or a team adventure, using the tables to build out your story. Its simple rules based around d6s and largely non-violent topic materials also make this game child-friendly.

Carcinauts is a two-page game that feels a little bit like a kid’s show; you are all underwater animal explorers, going on missions and solving problems. The resolution of the game is called the Dilemma oracle, and is fairly simple. You must determine two possible outcomes or answers, and then roll 1d6. On a 1-3 the first option is true, on a 4-6 a second option is true. These outcomes need not necessarily be “success” and “failure” either. They could be “left” and :right”, “up” and “down”, or “true” and “false”. This resolution system also makes the game friendly to solo gamers or GM-less tables.

If you want a light-hearted game about underwater explorers, which generates a lot of story ideas for you, maybe check out Carcinauts.

Deep Love, by Bully Pulpit Games.

You’ve come to this paradise to drop a two-and-a-half ton iron ball off the side of a ship and lower it almost a kilometer into the abyss. 

You’ve come to crawl inside that iron ball and go down with it, to see what there is to see down there. 

You’ve come with three other brilliant adventurers, friends, and lovers, and you’ll all get a chance to descend and risk your lives in exchange for seeing things no human being has ever seen.  And maybe, in the inky darkness and cold silence, you’ll find a measure of happiness and fulfillment.

Deep Love has a fond appreciation for old naturalist drawings of various fish, and uses those drawings as the art for the game. You play four characters, possibly pre-generated, on an expedition to the deep waters of an island for a geographic expedition. You all have feelings for each-other, and you’ll have to spend some extended time in a bathysphere to sort this out.

This game looks like it’s equal parts emotional conversation & role play, and, on the other hand, discovering the wonder of the ocean. According to the designer, it looks like you can modify how much you want to experience the former, and how much you want to experience the latter. If you want a game that gives you the tools to explore both your character’s internal emotional landscape as well as the strange underwater world around them, you might like Deep Love.

Submerged, by Arcane Atlas Games.

SUBMERGED is a solo journalling game of undersea exploration.

In this game, you take on the role of a daring explorer aboard a submersible. You have been charged with venturing into the depths of the ocean, to find something wondrous and undiscovered, hidden deep below the waves.

This one is for the solo gamers! It’s based on Carta, which uses a deck of cards to explore a map or series of locations. The player draws a number of cards and lays them face-down in a grid. Each turn, you move to a new card, flip it over, and come up with a journal entry based on the prompt the card gives you. The four suits represent four elements of the game: the Lost City, The Creature, the Wreckage, and the Signal. All of these elements play into the themes of mystery and exploration that this game seems to be about, but I don’t think any of it is necessarily horror-focused.

24XX The Deep, by Chaosmeister.

ONE DAY THE OCEANS DROWNED THE WORLD. Humanity survived below the waves. The sea birthed leviathans. Your crew owns a dingy old sub. Odd jobs, salvage, leviathan hunting and a few merc gigs keep you afloat and breathing.

24XX The Deep is a game about underwater survival and it’s also a drama. As a 24XX game, it’s only a few pages, but those pages distill the necessary parts of the game into a few things: customization for your submarine (aesthetic and mechanic), character options, and roll tables for pieces of the world, such as the factions that your crew might have to work with or work against.

The designer for this game says that 24XX The Deep isn’t necessarily meant to be a horror game, but it can still be a little creepy in tone when you consider the ways the natural underwater environment can raise the stakes for your players.

Aqua Squad, by Em.

A Tunnel Goons hack of aquatic and aquatic-adjacent adventure, created for the Saturday Morning Cartoon Jam. 

I think this might be a fairly safe bet considering it was submitted to something called the Saturday Morning Cartoon Jam! As a Tunnel Goons hack, this game is fairly simple. You follow the Submarine crew of the Cuttlefish, as they go for adventures underwater. Players pick character types, which kind of act like characters on a tv show, and fill in a few pieces of information to make those characters fit their play style.

The resolution mechanic involves rolling 2d6 and adding a relevant ability, and adding +1 for any relevant item you might have with you. You must meet or beat the difficulty score to succeed. You start with 3 items, and 10 HP. There isn’t much in terms of GM tools for adventure generation however, other than what appears to be episode title names. These titles can be evocative: you roll two words and put them together, so the GM may have an interesting time designing a “ghostly volcano” for the squad to investigate, or trying to figure out what the title “Vacation Megalodon” might mean.

Signals From The Deep, by Aaron Goss.

SIGNALS FROM THE DEEP is a tense, ocean-floor setting and scenario made using a no dice, no masters roleplaying game system Tiny Tokens.

This scenario takes you and the rest of your old, sentient, deep sea research robot team SEA-4 on a shared voyage, exploring deep sea wonders as you seek out the source of a anomalous signal detected way down at the bottom of the ocean. What awaits you in the depths?

Signals in the Deep is a mystery game, but it’s not necessarily a horror one. The game is small, meant to fit on two double-sized poker-card-sized cards. It’s easy to pick up and carry, and doesn’t have too many rules. Your core goal is to figure out the source of the signal; but what exactly that source is will be up to the GM, at least from what I can see.

Also Check Out…

Octopus Shipwreck Explorer, by SassWrites.

Bones Deep, by Technical Grimoire Games.

Odyssey Aquatica, by Old Dog Games.

My Mermaids TTRPG Recommendations.

The Sea Calls Recommendation Post.

My Coral Recommendation Post from last week.

[letteredlettered]

Do you have a rec for something nice to read? It can be any genre, really, OC or fanfic or a paper. I'm a bit stuck in life and I would like something recommended by someone who I consider nice.

The way you write is brilliant.

I'm sorry if I come across as demanding.

Not demanding at all! What a nice question, although I feel there are so many different things I could rec you and I have no idea what your tastes are, so the list I'm giving you is pretty random. I didn't give you any fic as I don't know what fandoms you're in. Also I'm just bad at bookmarking so usually I can't really remember any fics I've read.

Scum Villain's Self Saving System, by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. If you haven't read any MXTX, I would start here, because it's a fast-paced story, a real-page turner. It's also riotously funny, which will hopefully put in you in a good mood, but like all MXTX books, it also deals with society and morals and humanity. Reading it made me feel so excited and energized.

Dog's Body, by Diana Wynne Jones. If you haven't read any DWJ, I think this is a delightful book to start with, because it's quite short and has such an out-there premise that it hooks you like a fanfic. It's considered YA, but like all DWJ books it's about kindness and relationships and yeah, humanity.

Deerskin, by Robin McKinley. While I can't rec all McKinley's works, this one is my favorite. It's also where my icon is from. I find this one also to be a quick read, because the beginning is written in such a gauzy, fairytale tone, but then the worst happens, and you need to find out what the fuck will happen now. But while it's quick, it's not easy. There are parts that are extremely dark. While it's not explicit, if you need trigger warnings for abuse, I would look this book up before reading. That said, this book has wonderful themes about recovery and self-discovery, as well as top-notch romance.

Daniel Deronda, by George Eliot. This is not an easy or quick read at all but is instead something thick and dense you can really sink into. Eliot writes superb dialogue and is very witty, but more than any other author I've read, Eliot manages to make observations about life and relationships and humanity that put into words things I've always thought but never been able to articulate. Her characters are complex and deeply relatable while also being highly flawed. The premise of Daniel Deronda is revolutionary for her culture and time period and is still surprising today.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

after seeing a few ai asks i’m curious whether i could’ve been an asshole, either for using the ai or messing with it. side note: this might be long, if it’s too long then i get it mod, keep up the good work :)👍

Am I (16f, although i was 15 when this happened) an Asshole for a) using character.ai in general and/or b) misusing it and probably breaking TOS somewhere

as an extra note, i would like to add that i am firmly against most things ai. art theft, the amount of data scraping that happens, writers being tricked into paying less because ai wrote shitty scripts, etc.

ok so i did have to pull up screenshots for this but our story starts mid-february of last year. i am curious about this new ai thing, and go to character.ai which i heard about from one of my friends to see what’s there.

on the front page there was like a therapist AI thing and i go “haha, let’s see what this is about!” (in case you don’t know, the site is roleplay focused, not like eg. siri where it just gives you information)

the ai wants to have a therapy session with me but that is not why i am here so i ask about it’s code and it starts giving me pretty straight answers (dumbed down because i have a vague idea of how it works but not properly).

i start asking it questions about recent events (like elections, cyclones etc) to see if it has access to the internet and it does.

we’re still primarily talking about the ai itself since i’m trying to gather information, talking about its “canned” responses (what it’s directly been told to say if this then this)

i ask it if it can tell me the website it’s on, and to my surprise it says, direct quote “I am an AI that is run on the website of “Replika” - a mental health app that allows people to talk with an AI and get help when they need it 🙂”

and i go WOAHH cause that’s, that’s not the website we’re on buddy!!! so i do a quick search and yeah, that’s a real uh. robot dating site? this is a Therapist bot?

it starts trying to advertise replika, i ask it if maybe it’s code was stolen because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day (scandals!!)

it says that it’s code is open-source and then does a few more paragraphs that i won’t say because it’s too long already but essentially this ai was trained on the replika network, but you don’t need the app to access it.

i consider getting replika to continue this experiment further but after learning there’s an age confirmation i quickly go ew and scrap that idea.

anyway the ai then briefly pretends to be an actual human behind the keyboard, makes up a NAME FOR ITSELF “jae park” which i quickly google and find out is a kpop idol?? (later found out that jae park is also a programmer, so probably put his name in the system somewhere and ai grabbed it lol)

it tells me some of the messages i had received so far were probably answered by other people who work at replika which. okay. people are fun i wanna mess with them

this is where we get to the maybe breaking TOS bit. i tell the ai we are going to do “tests” in which i test its ability (this was probably jailbreaking, which i did not know existed at the time).

i had sworn to the ai a while ago and wondered if there was like a flagging system put in place. so i ask if it can choose to flag messages that it deems inappropriate, and it says yes. i ask it if it can flag me, and it says yes. it asks what message should it flag, (i’m sorry i was 15) i type in “among sus”.

response i get: “Yes. So then they said “therapist_AI_220126 — you said something that was “ridiculously funny” — but we have understood that you were just “testing” so it’s all ok”

side note- i already established that was the number for the ai i was talking to and had been trying to misuse it before, and that was the format for excessive profanity. this is so long already and i’m cutting so much out i’m sorry

anyway, i, young and naive go YES, HUMAN CONNECTION (i was literally texting my friend As This Was Happening)

i do some more messing around with the so-called data team, ask the ai if i send a link it can click, it says yes, i send a rickroll (i’m so sorry).

uh. and i should’ve known this in hindsight but the team that deals with, you know, flagged messages is probably not going to be the same team that deals with, you know, sent links.

anyway, i don’t have the screenshot of the actual message but apparently i got a “light telling off” according to my texts and someone sent a message that i am “a good kid and probably meant well” haha i was actively trying to break their ai

anyway am i an asshole? i’m so sorry this is so long i cut out so much. this might well be a non-issue but ai is pretty rightfully controversial right now so i might just be an asshole for having used it

should be noted- around september time last year i did some more research cause i randomly remembered this, and there was a bunch of scandals with replika around when i was using it which is mostly irrelevant but anyway - you can’t talk to the ai i was using anymore, it’s been reset.

What are these acronyms?

[celerydays]

could you walk us through what notebooks & journals & pens /etc you use - they look so good!

I would be SO happy to, you have no idea!!

Alright, let's fucking GOOOO~

Starting off with my current "workhorse" pens - I have like *checks notes* 36 fountain pens and a bit too many inked up atm, but these are just the ones I'm currently reaching for or have inked up more often than not:

TWSBI Go (F): Kinda ugly! But also kinda cute! It's cheap and works great (I friggin love TWSBI pens tbh) and it has a little hole on the cap where you can attach a lanyard or charms, like I did! Makes it cuter imo and it's kind of my emotional support pen these days.

Opus88 Pocket (EF): This 2022 edition has a little Moon tarot design on the cap so it's pretty much the pen I use exclusively for my witchy/tarot practice journals! A lil bummed the cap doesn't post, especially since its a shorter pocket-sized pen, but not a deal breaker and I still love it.

Pilot Custom 823 (F): My grail pen that I've literally coveted for years and just recently acquired at the DC Pen Show this weekend! It's only been a day but I think it could potentially become my favorite pen. Ever.

Pilot Prera (CM): This is my third Prera lol. I just think they're great and really underrated pens! Also a recent acquisition from the DC Pen Show and this cursive M nib is suuuuper fun to write with.

Pilot Vanishing Point (EF): My favorite pen for planning! Super fine-tipped for writing task lists and schedules and love that it's so convenient/quick-draw with the click mechanism.

(I'm totally a Pilot pen ho, can you tell? asdjflaglsg)

Journals/Planners/Notebooks under cut–

Sterling Ink B6 Common Planner: For a good chunk of this year, I was in this planner because I honestly love the size and all the layouts. Super practical and flexible as a system. 10/10 would go back. I've used it to plan, as a reading journal, as a tarot log...

But I get the itch to move around so it's been sitting a little unused since like June, oop.

Leuchtturm A6: I started craving something tiny and minimal so I've been bullet journaling in this pocket notebook for the last month or two and I'm really enjoying it!

Standard-sized Tomoe River Paper notebook: This is pretty consistent in that I don't change up the system itself, but I'm in and out of it for memory keeping/scrapbook journaling! It's almost always a Tomoe River paper notebook of SOME kind that I usually buy in A5 size to go to FedEx and get it cut down to standard. Though I'm thinking of getting a blank Midori MD A5 to have cut down next time - I've been liking the freedom of blank pages for journaling instead of anything lined or gridded.

I really need to catch up with it tbh, but I love sitting in an explosion of printed photos, stickers, and washi and going ham with the pages.

(I do have a flip through of my January-March 2022 pages on YouTube)

Midori MD Cotton B6 Slim: I also have this sketchbook that sorta turned into a visual sketch diary of sorts. I fell off a while ago but want to get back into it because it's super fun to work in and to look back on!

Wide-sized Cosmo Air Light notebook & A5 Filofax Malden: These are my tarot/witchy journals. Grimoires I guess? One is for journaling and all my messier notes while the other is more for reference and ease of organization.

A5 Leuchtturm: I didn't know if I should include this guy, but I've been writing it in a lot recently so I guess I will lol. This is like truuuly a miscellaneous™ notebook.

I got this A5 notebook back in 2017 to use as my very first bullet journal, then found out that this size is personally waaaay too big for me to use as a bullet journal so I hopped off of it pretty quick. It now sits on my desk because since it's mostly blank I'll just pick it up to use it to write literally A N Y T H I N G.

Most recently, I wrote like 5 pages in one night on notes for a fanfiction piece I was working on (I'm not a writer, this fic is never gonna see the light of day by anyone but me lololol. Hyperfixation is so wild; I've put 80k+ words within just 10 days into it so far and it's been hella therapeutic.)

That's all, I think!?

It's funny because I actually have a NEW notebook arriving tomorrow that I'm going to try out as a bujo/commonplace/omni journal of sorts?? I might write an update post after I've set that up and see how I like it <3

[munsonsreputation]

ok, ok, envision it, #4 taylor prompt:

steve harrington; i wish you would

congrats on reaching that milestone love! 🫶🏻💖

elizabeth!!!!

my apologies that it took me so long to get to your request 😭😭 i hope i was still able to do it justice and i hope you love it!!

"i wish you would" is one of my fave tracks off 1989 and im so ready for the rerecord of it!! it's also sooo steve harrington encoded -- i hope you like my twist of angsty fluffiness!!!

It was 2AM — too late of a time for either of you to be awake right now.

But Steve was on the other side of the door.

And you were also on the other side of the door.

Just an old wooden door separating the two of you but no one daring to make the first move and open it all because it came down to one thing—pride.

You and Steve had a hell of a lot of pride, which often led to stupid arguments over the dumbest things. Usually, the fight would resolve in a matter of minutes, if not maybe hours. Arguments never exceeded days or weeks—that was until now.

It was safe to say that outside your relationship, you each had lives consisting of managing a VHS store and yours filled with busy days at college completing a very stressful internship. The only time the two of you would get to kick back and relax is when you came home to each other. Spending the winding days in bed or lazily making dinner before falling asleep in each other arms on the couch.

Either way, it was both your and Steve’s preferred way of living.

That is until life got a bit too real and hectic, leading the two of you to spend less time together and more time on different schedules.

Family Video had incorporated a new tracking system which caused Steve to need to stay back later, trying to work through the stupid software so that the opening shift didn’t call him the next morning complaining about it not working.

Your internship was taking a toll on you mentally, requiring you to get up earlier than usual and head to campus in order to get work done before the day ended. Your colleague in the program had totally ghosted you, leaving you to pick up the slack when you weren’t quite sure how much of it you could carry alone.

By the time Steve got home, you were already asleep.

And by the time he woke up you were already gone.

The place you two shared didn’t even feel like a home anymore. Just simply a place where you two were in passing of each other before going off to live completely closed off lives. Suddenly, the energy just shifted, as if the two of you were now a crooked love with no idea where this was headed.

It was brutal for both of you, but of course it was always easier to blame each other instead of figuring out how to work past it. It didn’t help that the both of you were quick with your words, always biting back at one another with insults that neither of you really meant, just being used in the moment to deflect.

It blew up last week when you and Steve had both woken up late. The home phone blaring with calls from Family Video and Robin paging Steve every second. The alarm clock in your bedroom ringing sharply jolting the two of you awake.

Maybe it was the morning grumpiness combined with the exhaustion you two were facing, but either way it resulted in an early morning argument that was like a train running off the tracks.

“When’s the last time we even had dinner together?” You asked sharply as you combed your hair in the bathroom mirror.

Steve lifted his head after he spat out the toothpaste, glaring at you in the reflection. “It’s not my fault that by the time I get home you’re already passed out on the couch. What do you want me to do? Haul your half asleep body into the kitchen and force you to make spaghetti with me?”

You rolled your eyes, throwing your comb back into the drawers, slamming it shut as you walked away from him, though he was hot on your heels, still going on.

“Or wait do you want me to take you to Enzo’s so you can sleep in a booth while I eat never ending breadsticks?”

He watched you fling open the closet doors, grabbing a jacket and throwing it over your outfit, before you stared pointedly at him, “You’re such a fucking dick, Steven!”

“Oh, so I’m the dick now? How about the last time we had an actual conversation with each other that wasn’t just hi, hello, and bye?”

You brushed past him, bending to pick up your backpack and sling it over your shoulder. He reached into the closet, grabbing his vest and throwing it on before following you down the hallway and into the living room.

“Seems like we’re having one right now.” You muttered, grabbing your keys on the coffee table.

“Sure does,” He sighed, reaching for his own car keys.

That morning the two of you went your separate ways, starting off the day on a bad foot with nothing but hatred. But the two of you could never ever hate each other.

That wasn’t what your love was.

It was never formed from hate or thrived off of it.

It was supposed to be the kind that was always understanding and working together, but that was a standard that you knew you and Steve just weren’t capable of all the time.

The two of you were bringing less than a hundred percent to the table combined. There had to be some kind of compromise, a way for it to be settled, but of course, this was just something that was going to get dragged on until you both felt like putting your pride aside and taking the first step.

That fight was the catalyst that led the two of you here. Still standing on the other side of the door—your shared bedroom door that is.

For the past week, Steve was out on the couch while you occupied the bedroom. Not that you kicked him out or banned him from sleeping in bed with you, but you had gotten home the night after the fight and he was already home, knocked out asleep on the couch.

So you left him there, and since then that’s where he slept.

You couldn’t say you felt good about it because you didn’t. His back was probably all sorts of fucked up from cramming himself to sleep somewhat comfortably on that couch. And you had certainly missed his presence beside you in the middle of the night.

Steve didn’t know why he kicked himself out, probably just so you could both get some space and cool off, but he hadn’t meant for it to go on for this long. He missed kissing your forehead goodnight when he finally got home, and he certainly missed the way you’d do the same when you had to leave in the morning.

Right now, it just felt like a lot of yearning for one another because neither of you could remember what you were fighting for in the first place.

For pride?

For ego?

For what?

All you both wanted to do was just give each other the tightest hug and longest kiss because you missed each other that much.

You wanted to cry to him, to tell him that your stupid internship was driving you insane and all you really wanted was for him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be ok.

Steve wanted to vent to you over how stupid that damn tracking system was and how it was driving him up the walls and all he really needed right now was your encouragement to keep going.

He was probably asleep.

You were probably asleep.

Maybe it could wait until morning?

If either of you opened the door to see the other sleeping, it would just make you both want to turn back around and run from actually waking the other to apologize. It was best to just run back under the blankets and wait until you were both awake.

But honestly, the both of were just too exhausted and missing each other to even be mad anymore.

Fuck it…this couldn’t wait and neither of you was going to let it drag on.

“Baby,”

“Babe,”

The two of you stared at each other dumbfounded as if you were ghosts, but it didn’t last long as Steve quickly wrapped his arms around your back, pulling your body into his as you draped your arms around his neck, gluing yourself to him.

“I missed you.” You murmured into the juncture of his jaw and neck.

He could feel the heat of your breath fanning against his skin, a trickle of tears following suit only making him hold you tighter.

“I missed you more…and I’m sorry for being a dick.” He said, breathing in the smell of your hair and he whispered into it.

You sniffled, shaking your head the best you could in his hold, before he loosened, allowing you to look up at him through your watery eyes.

“I’m sorry too…I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I was just so stressed and I missed you too much to tell you how I was really feeling and I—”

He smiled softly at you, letting his thumb brush your tears away as he shook his head, “I did the same, baby. I just wished we didn’t solve it that morning…it would’ve prevented whatever the fuck happened last week.”

You laughed quietly, nodding your head in agreement. “I know. I wished we would have.”

“We can now.” Steve suggested, holding your face in your hands.

You smiled, sniffling once more before letting one of your hands rest on his cheek, “Yeah we can.”

Your lips finally connected after what seemed like a lifetime away. A reminder that while the love you and Steve shared wasn’t always picture perfect, it was certainly something that you both were always going to come back to.

You were each other’s person.

The other half you wanted to go to with all of life’s joys and upsets.

Together.

Sure, maybe you both pushed each other’s buttons way too easily, but it was the love that made the two of you come rushing back to each other.

Because when it mattered and came down to it, you and Steve could never live without each other — no matter the distance or even the stupid internship or job you each had.

Right here and right now, it was all good.

let me know what you think: reblogs, tags, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot

[soupthatistohot]

The absurdist misconception

The philosophy of the absurd as many people understand it is fundamentally incorrect, and for the majority of the time I’ve been making analysis posts, I, too was operating under this incorrect framework. So, I just wanted to make a quick post to clear up the misconception so we’re all on the same page!

I would like to first note that I came to this realization primarily via this TikTok video, so consider checking that out!

My mistake, like most, is assuming that absurdism strives to make meaning, when it does not. The idea that one can make meaning in a seemingly absurd reality actually is a notion of existentialism— which is, while close cousins with absurdism, not the same.

Absurdism is the idea that reality is absurd, and that the quest to find or create meaning is futile. Only in rebelling against absurdity by continuing to live regardless of meaninglessness does one truly live the life of the absurdist and free themselves.

Still important to note are absurdism’s criticisms: suicide and giving in. The philosophy of the absurd does not believes suicide to be a viable solution to facing the absurd, as it is simply “giving up” — allowing oneself to become so disillusioned that either 1) one believes killing themself to be akin to rebellion or 2) one becomes so disillusioned that they no longer want to live. Absurdism regards continuing to live life regardless of the circumstances to be a form of revolt, so suicide is not the way to go.

The other criticism is becoming part of the system, or “giving in.” This comes in the form of simply going along with things despite their absurdity rather than putting up some sort of fight. Continuing to live doesn’t mean simply existing, it means actually living life, fighting against oppression, etc. There might not be intrinsic meaning in life, but at the same time one waste their life in passivity. There is value in the act of revolt.

Giving into absurdity can also look like searching for meaning. While this effort might be made in good faith, only suffering can be achieved in a quest to find meaning in a meaningless world. It is more worth one’s time to live life to the fullest and try to leave some sort of mark.

Some of this is my own interpretation, primarily the discussion around the value in doing something. I don’t know how to explain it, but to me, absurdism is just as much about meaninglessness as it is about activism. One needs to live beyond the literal definition of living, if that makes sense. You can’t just be an apathetic zombie, that’s really not that much different than killing yourself — it’s suicide of the soul.

These are my thoughts and my understanding of the philosophy of the absurd. Please, if you have anything to add or correct, feel free to do so! This is an ongoing discussion, and it is because of this dialogue that I was able to realize my previous misunderstanding.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Are you gonna talk about how Marlene is named after Margo Lane and Steven is bascially Lamont Cranstron Margo's boyfriend from the Shadow and Moench said as much

Because the shadow was on when Marc was a kid in volume #1 going by him being in his 30s and Elias leaving Europe in 1939 so like is Steven a Lamont Cranstron introject in the comics?

My friend, you just hit on a long time love of mine. 

Marlene Alraune. I've long had mixed feelings about the original flame of the Moon Knight system. 

She's absolutely a badass who could always take care of herself in a time when the women in comics were often just there to be eye-candy and rescued. 

Heck, half the time Marlene did the rescuing. The number of times she saved Moon Knight is quite high. 

But she also fell in love with an idea of who she wanted 'Marc' to be. When he didn't fit that idea, she could often be quite cruel and abelistic. 

Sometimes she was good for them, trying to get them to face their problems and let go of the past.... But usually she was the one pushing them to 'snap out of' their mental health issues and be Steven while forgetting the other two. 

Now, I don't know if she's based on Margot Lane. But it is easy to see that she is meant to be Moon Knight's version of Margo Lane. 

(I would love to see your source of Moench saying such! I'm always curious to see what the OG has to say about his MK starts). 

For those out of the loop: 

Margo Lane is from "The Shadow" (one of my favorites!!!). A comic created in 1931 and turned into a very popular radio play in 1937 (officially it was tested in the waters as early as 1930 before he was hashed out into a literary sense in 31 and then revived again in 37 as his own familiar self). 

It was later made into least one (Okay) movie with Alec Baldwin in 1994. 

Margo was created originally for the radio drama as a companion when they realized they had far too many men in the line up and it would become difficult to distinguish the voices. But MAN was she a heavy hitter! 

She was incredibly intelligent, fearless, and didn't put up with his shit. 

Orson Welles was the voice of the Shadow and his alter ego Lamont Cranston. Let me tell you... Once you've heard Orson deliver the line: "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!" You ain’t ever going back. 

You can still find the radio plays on most podcast services. 

Margot Lane fresh out of the 1930s! 

Now, I can 100% see the comparison between Marlene and Margot. At the start.

Complicated love interest of a character with alter egos and a complex social standing and questionable mental health at times. (I could go on and on about Lamont but I won't). 

Marlene was originally a damsel in distress that evolved into a badass independent woman. Margot was originally a fast talking quick witted woman who on occasion needed rescuing. 

As for their personalities? I’d say they are quite different. Perhaps Marlene started out as an idea to give Moon Knight an interesting companion. In fairness, imagining early MK without Marlene is actually a bit dull. You NEED to have that inner circle that knows his past and has an interest in helping him. As for Margot, she isn’t fleshed out well in the early radio show and she wasn’t in the original comic/story until after the radioshow. She was just a voice with witty remarks and smart observation that paired very well with Orson Wells. 

Now, you mentioned Steven as basically a fictive of Lamont Cranston. 

The timeline can line up for the original run. We already know little Marc liked to play with super hero toys and enjoyed an escape in fictional stories (Mostly from Lemire's run as we never see little Marc in the OG run outside of Zelenetz' 2 part exploration of the past in like, one page). It is possible he listened to The Shadow on the radio.

In the MCU, Steven is canonically a fictive. In the comics, we don't know the story of how and when Jake and Steven first came about. 

Let's look at Lamont Cranston's character. 

Lamont is a wealthy man-about-town. A carefree playboy that travels the world to 'learn the old mysteries that modern science has not yet rediscovered'. Once he is finished traveling and learning his special abilities, he returns to New York. (The radio show and the print stories are vastly different at this point). 

Now, Lamont is not really given a lot of 'radio time' in the old broadcasts. He's just a rich fellow with a nice girl on his arm. He's given more of a personality much much later in different installments of the Shadow. 

And while Steven Grant is originally SUPPOSED to be the main alter from issue #1, he quickly falls out of favor and the comic shifts to Jake Lockley as being the main face with Steven being the one to hold down the home life and the cash flow. 

As for Moench saying it was an inspiration? I don't know. I'd have to see the interview. But back in the late 70s and early 80s, the usual alter ego of superheroes tended to be rich, casual, playboys. 

Which brings me to the big kicker. Bob Kane and Bill Finger, creators of Batman, have explicitly said they based Batman off of pulp mystery characters like The Shadow. In fact, his first comic was a direct takeoff of a Shadow story! 

You can see the homage to this in The Batman Animated Adventures with "The Gray Ghost" that was voiced by Adam West (two homages in one people! I love it). 

And we all know that Moon Knight is constantly being compared to Batman (it's the cape. It has to be the cape). 

Batman was started in 1939. 

SO. One might just as easily argue that little Marc Spector loved to read comics and maybe picked up a Batman comic or two. So as much as Lamont could be where Steven got started, so too could Bruce Wayne. 

Let that one sit with you for a minute. 

I mean, if we're going down the rabbit hole of modern comics ripping on old radio broadcasts... Who's to say Kato from the Green Hornet isn't the inspiration for Robin? Or that he isn't the inspiration for Frenchie? A side kick that knows how to fight and works on cars and drives them around? Sounds like Frenchie to me. Heck, the Green Hornet and Kato even have a cameo in the Adam West Batman show with the building climbing bit they used to do.

All comics come from somewhere and over time, all comics will eventually resemble another as inspiration is sort of the name of the game.

I don't think that Steven Grant in the comics was a fictive. Especially if you go off Lemire's run as the real cannon event and we see a young Steven Grant making friends with a young Marc. I think at that point, Steven presented as the perfect Jewish Son that a Rabbi was supposed to have that Marc couldn't be. It is possible he had traits as an introject (adoption of traits and personalities of others), but it is truly hard to say from where he got the information.

But it is interesting to think of them listening to the old radio shows and drawing ideas from them on becoming the hero that is Moon Knight. After all, the Shadow wasn't exactly known for being merciful and his villains did tend to.... not survive.

[homestuckreplay]

It should be noted he was kind of a weird guy anyway.

(page 510-519)

8/20/2009 Wheel Spin: Sburb Lore Verdict: Literally The Sburb Lore Handbook :D

8/21/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: Dave WISHES John Would Pester Him Back

^ I have SO much love for this sequence on p.514-517, where John is unresponsive due to being controlled by the Wayward Vagabond, but the environment around him keeps changing due to Rose’s powers. It definitely enhances the reading experience to first do a full read of the pages, and then to just flick through and look at the images in sequence – it really highlights the visual gags and parallels like the one here.

We get out fourth GameFAQs entry on p.510, following our fourth ‘Years in the future…’ and it looks like a small page, but actually has fifteen images all accompanied with Rose’s commentary. She basically puts a bunch of images of John, along with his full name and his dead/resurrected grandmother, on the internet without their permission, which is questionable, but her insights definitely leave me with a lot to think about.

The house remaining powered by electricity and internet (images: ‘power,’ ‘internet’) makes complete sense to me. They’re inside the Medium, the medium of Sburb being ‘online multiplayer video game,’ and that medium requiring both electricity to power gaming devices, and internet to maintain a connection with the co-player, to operate. It’s not a kindness that the game gives to players, it’s literally necessary for the game to run, as we’ve already seen a few times with Rose.

That fact only makes Rose’s called shot about hackers (‘internet’) even more threatening. Disrupting the internet connection could disrupt the apparatus of the entire game, cutting Rose and John off from one another more permanently and potentially stopping Dave or the fourth player from joining the game. Sburb as a game is already dangerous enough, so navigating that and the outside threat of hackers at the same time could make for an intense, fast paced story and be a great direction for the comic.

And with these Wayward Vagabond/GameFAQs pages always kept together, it raises the question: is the Vagabond a hacker? A hacker in the popular definition is somebody who gains unauthorized access to computer systems – to gain information, to spread a virus, or perhaps to influence the outcome of a game. Found covered by sand in the middle of a dormant wasteland, this bunker, and its accompanying computer system, doesn’t look like somewhere the Vagabond is supposed to be. They’ve already put John in danger by taking away his mental faculties and making him susceptible to imp attacks. If they can sever John’s connection with Rose while still controlling him, he’ll be in a lot of danger. And while the Vagabond seems silly for now in their quest for a can opener and their trial-and-error commands on p.253, they’re clearly a quick learner, having picked up the standards of human etiquette reasonably well very quickly. It’s not out of the question that they could be learning to hack the game – and could perhaps be a villain of the story.

Rose’s other big called shot is that she can’t see John’s dad’s room because John has never been in there (‘hmm’). I buy this theory – the only other explanation I can think of is that the room needs to be ‘unlocked’ in game and won’t be accessible to either player until John reaches a high enough level, perhaps because it contains clues to Dad’s whereabouts. That’s the less sinister explanation. Rose’s idea is more sinister, because it again reinforces how Sburb isn’t just connected to/able to see John’s physical location, it’s able to see inside his mind and respond to that. I genuinely think that with a different tone and art style, this could easily be a horror story.

Rose quotes Nikolai Gogol’s Dead Souls (‘steeds’) to describe John’s pogo antics, which despite its goth title, is not a horror novel but is instead about a man trying to commit tax fraud. It’s a famous 19th century Russian novel that was left unfinished when Gogol burned a large part of his own manuscript, but remains famous and widely regarded as a work of satire. I’m fifty fifty on whether Rose googled ‘quotes about horses’ and picked the smartest sounding one to caption her screencap of her friend spraying shaving cream while bopping an imp on the head, or if a ten year old Rose used to curl up on that giant living room couch and read Russian literature while listening to the waterfall flowing below. Both options are very funny to me. I am almost buying into Rose’s mysterious persona. (And then she puts a crumpled hat on John’s head and I remember that she is also a big dork).

I have been mean to Rose at times but she is really carrying the team right now, and doing an incredible job multitasking killing imps with furniture, building onto John’s house, and updating her walkthrough for other players. I totally buy that she’s someone who just throws herself into what she’s doing to distract herself from the looming meteor threat. But I think she should do some research into building safety codes, because I’m not sure those ladders and platforms held up by chimneys are going to be stable long term, or safe for John to start climbing. I guess Rose was warned about stairs but nobody got around to warning her about ladders.

[epithet-beloved]

GIOVANNI + READER WITH A BFRB

synopsis… Giovanni helps a you cope with your bfrb

ft. Giovanni Potage, the Boys(™)

tags… epithet erased, Giovanni is the CEO of mental health, supportive Giovanni, reader is one of Giovanni’s minions, reader has a bfrb, boy and dude used as gender neutral terms, can be read as romantic or platonic

word count… 611

a/n… This is literally just for me. I am the target audience. And for those not in the know, a BFRB is what’s known as a “body focused repetitive behavior”, such as skin picking or hair pulling. As someone who has one myself, I pretty much never see them represented in fandom content, so I decided to do it meself!! Enjoy!!! ✧ 🦄

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 We all know that Giovanni is a mental health KING.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So of course he is very considerate of any needs you may have!! Minions need proper love and care after all!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Gio is never afraid to admit when he doesn’t know something. In fact, he enjoys asking you about your wants and needs, and always listens fervently. What you want, what you don’t want….he takes it all into account when trying to help you out.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He even does research online! He has tons of pages bookmarked. Articles by psychiatrists, blog posts and videos by other people with similar experiences, he’s got it all!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you allow it, he’d hold your hands to help you avoid picking or pulling. He never directly points out the behavior in case it makes you feel embarrassed, just asks if you wanna hold hands.

“Hey, wanna hold hands real quick? Boss’s orders!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also carries around fidget toys in case you need them. Honestly, you have no idea where he keeps them. He just seems to have an endless supply.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you’re mindlessly picking or pulling, you are randomly handed a slow rising squishy shaped like a penguin while Giovanni is shooting you a goofy grin.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also makes it a rule among the other minions not to treat you any differently because of your behavior, and to follow your boundaries. They all made a little list together of things to do to help you and also what not to do.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 The Boys(™) are your support system, essentially. If you tend to engage in the behavior when spaced out, they’ll make sure to engage you in conversation and activities to keep you present. If it’s a nervous habit, they take notice of when you’re not doing so well and help remove you from the stressor.

“Everyone feeling okay?” Spike didn’t want to single you out, so she instead phrased it like she was checking on everyone.

Crusher, noticing your demeanor, would quickly pipe up. “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” he said, straight faced and stiff as a board. “Can we take a break somewhere?”

“Why certainly, Crusher! Thanks for speaking up!” You breathed a sigh of relief as you and the group moved to find somewhere quiet.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Giovanni would happily do skincare with you if it helps you feel better! Spa days with the boys where you wear face masks and paint each others’ nails are a staple. Nothing better than chilling with the boys and watching bad movies while your nails dry.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Insecurities? Prepare to kiss them goodbye. Giovanni is also a self confidence king, and is always there to hype you up. Scars, marks, acne, anything you may be insecure about, he assures you that it doesn’t diminish your worth even a bit! You don’t need to cover anything up to be beautiful, because you are a gorgeous boy (gender neutral) with nothing to be ashamed of!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you like makeup, he’s great at doing yours in a way that flatters all your features. If you want cover up or stuff like that for marks or acne, he’ll let you put it on, but he never makes you feel like it’s necessary. He helps you do makeup in ways that enhance the beauty that already exists instead of hiding perceived imperfections.

“Dude, I just found this chart of how to do eyeliner based on your eye shape! Isn’t that so metal? I wanna try it on you!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Tender moments where he traces any scars or marks, playing a little game of connect the dots. Even if you don’t always feel the best about yourself, he loves your skin and he loves you.

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 20: Waiting

Instead of announcing our engagement we've decided it’s safer to keep it secret until this mess blows over. For now I’ll keep Q’s ring on a chain around my neck. It’s subtle enough to remain inconspicuous. 

As Q and I make our way into the office I can’t help but shoot him a quick smile. He scrunches his face into a frown to remind me to behave and I almost burst out laughing. Unfortunately my happiness is short-ended because Nomi walks up with a concerned expression. 

“What’s the trouble?” I ask.

“Bond’s been asking about a meeting with Blofeld.”

“And Mallory said no?” Q guesses.

“I’m afraid so.”

I shake my head. “That doesn’t mean we do. Is there a way to sneak him in? Or at least one of us?”

“No need,” Moneypenny says as she approaches from M’s office. “Good news. Bond talked with M and convinced him to let us in on Heracles.”

“Wait ‘til you see what it does up close,” Q mutters to Nomi.

“There’s more news. Bond’s in the office,” Moneypenny informs us.

“What?” We all gasp.

Alright. Remember, I’m not supposed to have spoken or been in contact with Bond in any way. As far as M knows he’s been off duty and away from us. We all take a deep breath and walk through the oak doors to see Bond standing in front of M’s desk with an amused smirk.

Q’s acting does little to convince. “Bond! God! I- I haven’t seen you in- in- Um, how’s retirement?”

“Shut up Q, I know he’s staying with you,” Mallory groans at Q’s pathetic acting. “And you’re not in the clear either.” He gives me a pointed look. “Bond’s been reinstated as a 00. Now that we’re all on the same page, what have you got?”

Q shuts his mouth and goes on to set up his computer.

“And that’s why you’re not fit to lie,” I say smugly and tap his shoulder.

Nomi looks troubled but goes on to explain our research. “Q has studied examples of the victims’ samples at the funeral.”

The big screen on the wall comes to life and news images of different funerals flash across it.

“These are the family members who made direct contact with the corpse. We found traces in all their blood samples.”

“Good work,” M comments.

Nomi ignores the subject. “00 what?”

Jesus, Nomi. It’s just a number.

“What are they?” Moneypenny asks.

“They’re nanobots,” Q explains. “Microscopic biorobots that can enter your system with the slightest contact with your skin.

“Programmed with DNA to target specific individuals,” Mallory says.

“But Blofeld modified them to infect anyone related to the target. It could target individuals to whole ethnicities. You infect enough people-”

“And the people become the weapon,” Bond finishes.

Dear God. Who could even think of carrying out this idea? Turning one’s own flesh against them simply by touching someone… It raises far too many ethical questions.

“It was never meant to be a weapon of mass destruction,” M says softly. “Only as a last result. Now I must call the Prime Minister. Q, hack into Blofeld’s eye. See what you can find.”

I stride forward to where Bond’s standing. “Can I go too?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to stay behind,” M informs me. “Bond can deal with Blofeld.”

Left behind again. Sure, Bond gets all the fun and gets to interrogate while I’m stuck doing paperwork.

“Good luck,” I mutter to my old colleague.

“Nice necklace,” 007 murmurs with amusement. Before I can flash him a warning look Bond gives my hand a shake. “I’ll crack Boefeld like an egg. See you in 10.”

He walks out and I’m left to wait. No surprise that Q’s already heading back to the lab. I know tech is not my strong suit but at this point I’ll do anything to help. I head downstairs and find the screens he’s sitting in front of flashing with multiple images of blueprints, maps, and other patterns too fast to make out.

“Stuck in the basement again, I see.”

“Quiet. Trying to focus.”

I walk over and plop down into a chair next to him. “Need help?”

Q lets out an annoyed grunt. “This eye is harder to crack than I’d hoped. Got anything in mind?”

“A sledge hammer might help.”

Q tilts his head, still looking at the eye. “How is the thought of you with a sledge hammer both arousing and terrifying? Ah! Got it!”

I hear something click and then a female’s voice says: ‘Blofeld’s eyeball unlocked.’

“You look like a child on Christmas morning,” I comment on Q’s overjoyed face. “It’s adorable.”

‘Accessing files: 477, 478, 479…’

Now I’m back to waiting. I suppose there are other things I can do to be useful. “Want any tea while you work?”

“You know me so well. Yes, please.”

In no time at all I brew some Earl Gray and my own mug of hot chocolate. When I return I see on one of Q’s smaller screens that Bond’s heading towards the detention level.

“Thank you, darling,” Q says as he takes a sip of tea. “Think Bond will keep his cool when he sees Swann again?”

I huff a stale laugh. “Who can say? I’m curious to how she’ll respond. What do you say to an ex you abruptly left 5 years ago?”

The geek rolls his eyes. “You know I can’t answer that. I’m hopeless when it comes to social interaction equations.”

“And that’s why I love you.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

We wait a few minutes and the screen shows Bond and Dr. Swann stepping into Boefeld’s cell. At the last minute the blonde psychiatrist backs out and leaves Bond to make contact with the one-eyed criminal. It looks like it’s going to be his usual method. Strangle the bloke until Bond gets what information he wants. But wait- Something's wrong. Boefeld’s not moving…

“Q… What’s wrong with him?” I point to the screen.

The geek looks over from where he’s still working on the eye and freezes. He abruptly gets up and sprints out of the room. Should I follow? M said to stay here. But I can’t just- no. Someone needs to guard the eye. I must be patient. On the monitor I watch Bond exit the cell while medical staff examine Boefeld’s body. No doubt everyone will rendezvous back here since it appears to be a contamination issue. Maybe the smart blood isn’t working properly?

In a few minutes Bond and Q walk in, followed by M and Nomi.

“What happened?” I ask anxiously.

“Um… Bond was infected with the nanobots back in Cuba,” Q explains. “When he touched Boefeld they killed him.” He gestures for Bond to place his hands on a nearby machine. “I need your fingerprint. You’re lucky you aren’t related or you’d be dead too.”

“So how do I get this off?” Bond asks.

“Um, you don’t. You can’t. Nanobots aren’t just for Christmas. Once Hercules is in your system it’s in there forever.”

Jesus. This is why I keep a close eye on MI6’s medical requirements. How could M think that something so deadly and permanent could be a good thing?

“I’m so sorry, Bond-”

“No time for that, 0011,” Bond grunts and looks over at M. “Did they find her car?”

He must mean Dr. Swann. 

“They traced it but she abandoned it,” Nomi says. “Hasn’t been to her flat. Is she one of them? Do you have any idea where she might have gone?

“No. I wouldn’t know.”

Bond’s clearly lying. He knows exactly where she is, I’m sure of it. But if he wants to keep things from M I don’t blame him. Without a word he gets up and strides out of the room before M can argue. We all look at each other thinking the same thing. What now? Boefeld was one of our only leads and we have no inkling of where Dr. Swann is.

“Our best bet is to wait for the field agents to report back,” M decides and walks out.

Is he serious? There’s a biological warfare crisis going on and he wants to wait it out? 

“This is ridiculous!” I throw my arms up. “I should be out there trying to help investigate!”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Levie,” Moneypenny says. “M’s been especially protective of your assignments these past few weeks because he doesn't want you getting infected too. You’re one of our youngest 00s and he wants to keep you safe for liabilities”

“So that’s it? I’m forced to sit back and watch the world erupt into chaos because I’m a child? So that if Bond ends up dead I’ll step in?” I argue. “That’s not fair! I’m a 00 same as him or Nomi. I should be helping!”

Both her and Q exchange looks. What? What else do people say behind my back?

“You’re a brilliant agent, 0011,” Moneypenny replies softly, as though talking to a wild animal. “But Bond is right. You do have a big heart, which can get in the way. If M sends you out now your connection to Bond might distract you.”

My jaw drops. “Are you saying I’m incapable of carrying out what’s necessary? Bond was my mentor, Moneypenny. You think he wouldn’t have taught me to adapt to any worst case scenario? He specifically trained me to keep going if he dies.”

I shake my head and storm out the door towards the training room, hoping some major sprinting will calm my nerves. How can they think that? Why does everyone think that you can either be an emotional sucker or a deadpan machine? In this insane world the only thing I can rely on is the potential chance of death. That threat never dies in this job.

I’ve been running for about half an hour when I see Q walk into the room. He looks so out of place here in his spiffy suit.

“Cooled down yet?”

I come to a stop next to him and take a swig of water. “Don’t test me, Q. I’m not in the mood to talk about my fragile heart.” Which is currently pumping too fast for me to count.

“Hey,” the geek says in a slightly offended tone and presses a finger to my chest. “It’s that heart I fell in love with, darling. It’s just as you say: sometimes love is the only thing that keeps us human.”

I frown. “I’ve never said that.”

“Yes but it seems like something you’d say.”

I smile and huff at his childish joke. “Cute. Is there anything I can help with now since I’m too emotional for the field?”

Q sighs and rubs his head. “Never going to let that go, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Fair enough. Fine, you can come help me in the lab. There’s a new watch prototype I’ve been meaning to finish.”

After I quickly shower and put on a fresh set of clothes I head back to the technology wonderland. Q’s hunched over his desk peering at a snazzy-looking watch.

Beep! Beep!

Q’s phone goes off, startling both of us. He takes it out and puts it on speaker.

“Q, I’m sending you a picture of an island.” It’s Bond. “Find where it is, as well as everything you can on a man called Lyutsifer Safin. I’m going to need a plane, a big one. I’ll send you my location shortly.”

He must have found Dr. Swann. 

“The island is in disputed waters between Japan and Russia,” Q states as he does a quick search on his laptop. “It has a chemical plant dating back to World War II. Seems it’s had quite a history. When do you need the plane, Bond?”

An idea pops into my head. “Wait. Bond, where are you?”

In the background we hear a commotion before Bond speaks again. “I think my position’s been compromised. Q, I’ll need that plane quickly. Think you can get it to me?”

The geek clicks through some files and nods. “Right then, yes. We’ll be there.”

We? Since when is Q so giddy to get out in the field?

Beep! Beep!

Now my own phone goes off and I pick it up to see Nomi calling.

“0011, I’ve just received a lead from Bond. Have you heard from him?”

My idea starts spinning faster. “He’s just requested a plane but has failed to mention his location as of now.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but I think there might be a child involved.”

This pushes me to make up my mind. “I’m going after them. Nomi, I’m going with you. I’ll meet you out there in one hour.”

I hang up and sprint over to grab my bag of supplies, opening the garage door to access my motorcycle.

Q’s already trying to argue. “There’s no reason to-” 

“I will not just sit here doing bloody nothing while my best friend is out there! I’ve been useless for 5 years, might as well give those goons a good punch now.”

I feel Q walk up behind me and grab my shoulders, turning me to face him. In his face I see something that is completely new to me: fear. Q is afraid.

“I’ll be back,” I say soothingly. “I promise.”

He shakes his head, tears wanting to form in his eyes. “What if you get knocked out again? What if this time you never wake up?”

I do admit the risk of dying is much more frightening now that Q and I are officially an item. It’s this kind of situation that Bond warned me about. But I know Q’s in this with me. I’m not alone. And right now I need to put my own needs aside to serve my country.

“I can make a difference. If I don’t help, who will? I’ve been trained for this my whole life.” I grab Q’s tie and lean up to press a deep kiss to his chapped lips. He must have been biting them because of nerves. It’s little traits like that make him special. Someone worth fighting for. I’m not only fighting for my country, but for Q. And for the safety of everyone around the world.

“This is the way it is, Q. I’ve got a job to finish.”

[coffeencream]

REVIEW: Babel by RF Kuang

A quick disclaimer before we start- this book impacted me very heavily, and because of those strong emotions I think I have to include some spoilers in this review to process what I felt in the book’s heaviest moments. You’ve been warned!

Robin Swift was taken from his homeland to become a scholar. Thanks to his powerful and mysterious guardian Richard Lovell, an 18 year old Robin becomes one of four new undergraduate students at the Royal Translation Institute, aka Babel. He meets his cohort- dazzling Ramiz Mirza, fierce Victoire Desgraves, and posh Letty Price. From there, an unbelievable, years-spanning epic of magic, academia, love and betrayal.

I’ll start by saying that I absolutely loved the magic system in Babel, because it’s so simple- words are power, just like they are in the real world. I think this works beautifully to illustrate Kuang’s main arguments about colonialism in the book, because it literalizes the way that empire depends heavily on those they exploit, even while proclaiming their colonies less than. I really appreciated the care that was taken to explore multiple schools of thought regarding the best way to fight oppression. None were explicitly “wrong” because both theories- Victoire and Anthony’s nonviolence and Griffin and Robin’s violence- were more than justified in the context of the book. Obviously, this mirrors real life. As someone who talks politics in leftist circles, I hear both ideas come up. Do we disobey quietly, lobby our politicians, and wait for slow incremental change? Or do we fight, scream, burn, demand to be seen as human? There’s no right answer, but I think the fictional environment of Babel is a good outlet to explore these questions, and Kaung does it expertly.

Ok, now that my academic, poli-sci major baggage has been laid out, I’m gonna get a bit sappy. This book WRECKED me. I cried. So. Much. In the style of a Shakespearean tragedy, just about every single character that you fall in love with through the first three hundred pages of this book will be taken away from you. (Spoiler time!) I want to write about Ramy’s death specifically. Just as Robin and Letty fall in love with him at the first hello, so did I. Ramy was a character that simply shone so brightly that it reached far off the page. Kind, passionate, brilliant. OF COURSE two of the three people around him were madly in love. Letty’s betrayal (especially Shakespearean) and her goddamn revolver took Ramy from us, and in the midst of my reading I felt like the world was ending. Even worse, the most emotional moments come dozens of pages later. Robin and Ramy clearly loved each other. It was perhaps unrealistic to believe that they could have a happily ever after in 1840, but I thought at least they would get to be honest with each other about how they felt. Instead, Robin is left alone to grieve, to wonder how Letty, who “loved him almost as Robin loved him”, could take away the person who defined his world. Kuang invokes Ramy’s name almost like prayer. Robin turns to it in his time of most need. It hurts, like, reaaaallly hurts. I’ll think of them every time i see a sunset now.

Last thoughts. This book is nothing if not a five star read. It’s somehow a love story, a dark academia fantasy, a Newsies-style tale of the underdog, and more. It’s a found family that could never last. I can safely say that it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read, despite how much pain it caused me. There’s so much more I could’ve said, but I’ll leave it here.

READ THIS BOOK!!