#this is like a one page quick idea i needed out of system + while experimenting with a diff style of comic formatting than im used to

[thebrainrotsreal]

aaa, just came across your and avis’ AU today and i just want to say its so AMAZING 🥹🥹!!! Would love to see more of Wasp and Mark from you guys 💓

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! (♡°▽°♡) @avisisisis has such incredible ideas that rlly brought it to life when we kept chatting about it! I def gonna draw more of these two, because oh my goodness I love thinking about them! Working on a rlly quick comic to explore an idea, (just one page rlly) so here's a sneak peak! :D

Bonus fun fact for ya, I will always always always draw Wasp with two downward curls on his left side, while Mark always has a one curl on his left.

[fanfic-ya-know]

I Guess You Got the Feeling

This is part 2 of this fic: Did You Get the Feeling?

Pairing: Bob Reynolds x Thunderbolt!Reader 

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, afab!reader, not beta read, brief mentions of a previous relationship, language, idiots in love, reader is described as being smaller than Bob, PDA (kinda? Idk what else to call it), SMUT under the cut - oral (f!recieving), use of pet names (pretty girl, baby, honey) slight praise kink, p in v, unprotected sex (pls be safe), reader gets a little cock-drunk, softdom!Bob, switch!reader, slight description of bodily fluids - please let me know if I missed anything!!!

AN: Okay this took me forever, but here it is! I’m in the process of moving and this is the longest fic I’ve ever written - I just got so carried away!

Also, this is my first attempt at writing smut, so please be kind, but constructive criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Days went by, and you started to feel normal again. There would be a few in a row where you didn’t even think about your ex. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you would wake up with that aching sense of dread in your chest – the feeling that you had made a huge mistake.

You would climb out of bed a little slower, roll your shoulders, and press the heel of your palms against your face, trying to push the feeling out of your system. On those days, after you had gone to the gym in a failed attempt to work out your frustrations, you’d enter the kitchen finally seeking the two things you knew would actually help balm the ache: food, and Bob.

Sometimes it felt like those things went hand-in-hand, considering how often you found him in here. Bob was always hungry. His metabolism had been heightened by the serum, so it seemed like he was constantly snacking.

You liked the predictability of it. His consistency - you always knew where you could find him. He’d be sitting at the bar with his book in one hand and food in the other. In the mornings, it was usually a piece of fruit. Bob liked apples – pink and yellow ones. He always said those were the sweetest.

You’d grab a protein bar from the pantry, seeking a quick fix, and lean against the counter, waiting for Bob to look up from his book. When he finished whatever page he was on, he’d mark his place and set down the book, offering you his full attention. On those bad days, Bob’s gaze would soften at the sight of you, immediately understanding what you needed. He’d stand from his place at the bar and pad over to you. Bob would open his arms and allow you to just lean into him. It wasn’t quite a hug; you wouldn’t put your arms around him in return, you’d just stand there and let him wrap himself around you. He’d stand there as long as you needed, waiting to feel your tense boy relax. Bob never complained about how sweaty you were, even though you were sure you smelled. He would rest his chin on top of your head, and you’d listen to the sound of his breathing, calming you by proxy. Eventually, after he felt like you’d stood there long enough, Bob would ask you the same question. “Wanna get comfy?”

You weren’t sure how this routine started, whose idea it had been, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world. You’d follow Bob down the hall, passing your own room and entering his instead. You’d stand by the door to his en suite bathroom and wait for him to press some of his clothes - a loose pair of boxers, an oversized sweater, and a pair of his socks - into your hands. Then you’d go into his bathroom and shower to wash yourself away, using his shampoo and body wash to clean yourself. When you emerged from the steamy bathroom, you’d find him in bed, sitting against the headboard, having returned to his book while he waited. Wordlessly, you’d cross the room and crawl into bed next to him. You loved the feeling of being completely engulfed by him, like your body wasn’t your own. 

The rest of the day would be spent in Bob’s bed, watching movies and listening to him talk about the book he was reading, or anything else that was on his mind. You were so happy to turn your brain off - to be consumed by Bob.

As time went on, your low days became further apart. The ache in your chest no longer formed because of some emptiness that your previous relationship had left behind. Instead, it felt more like a craving for the closeness, the fullness that Bob provided.

You discovered that no longer being with your ex came with some benefits. When you weren’t being called away on a mission, you had more time for yourself. You picked up long-forgotten hobbies, you read more, you had more time to spar with your teammates, honing your fighting skills. Overall, you were improving. 

And you loved the freedom you felt when you spent time with Bob. Your clear days were spent by his side, but instead of hiding away in his room, the two of you went on outings. To anyone else, they must’ve looked like dates - going to the movies together, walking in the park, trying new restaurants. They felt like dates, save for the physical intimacy that usually came with the territory. Bob was giving you all the time and space you needed before taking that next step. And you were getting sick of it.

You had waited out of respect for the breakup, thinking you needed time to heal. Plus, you didn’t want Bob to feel like a rebound. But because you both knew about the other’s feelings, some lines were getting crossed. Everything about your relationship with Bob felt intimate, but he barely touched you - the most constant you’d get were the long hugs he gave you on difficult mornings. You were ready for more, but you weren’t sure how to tell him.

“Just rip off the band-aid,” Yelena said from your bathroom. She was rummaging through your drawer of nail polish, trying to decide on a color. You had the best selection, which is why she came to you, but the options were borderline overwhelming. “Tell him what you want and get on with it.”

“Oh sure,” you snorted. You were sprawled out on your bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for Yelena to pick a color for you to paint her nails. “I’ll just walk right up to him and say ‘Hey Bob! Remember that weirdly sexually charged night we had a few weeks back, when I told you I needed a little time? Well, times up, and I’d like you to fuck me now if you’re interested. If not, totally cool - we can just hold hands or something.’”

“Right,” Yelena responded. “Maybe not quite like that.” You heard the drawer close, signaling that she had finally selected. You sat up in your bed as she came back into your room. “Don’t you guys hold hands all the time?”

You adjusted your position and unfolded the towel you had brought in earlier, queuing Yelena to sit across from you on the bed. “Not really,” you said, taking the bottle of polish from her and shaking it. “And when we do, it’s more like a comforting ‘I’m here for you,’ or a ‘let me help you warm up,’ or to just pull each other in the direction we want to go. I want him to hold my hand like he means it - like he thinks it belongs there.”

Yelena just made a sound in response, something between an understanding hum and a judgmental grunt.

You knew she was right, that you were being dramatic, but there was still a small part of you that feared his rejection. The thought was silly but persistent, weighing on you every time you were near him without so much as a brush of his fingers.

“Fine,” Yelena finally said as you finished the first coat of paint on her nails, breaking you out of your train of thought. “You don’t want to tell him? You’ll have to show him.” She said it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Noticing the confusion on your face, she continued. “You need to give him every possible opportunity. You initiate contact, and he’ll follow suit. He’s probably just worried that you changed your mind about him.”

You’d laugh at the notion if it weren’t so completely aligned with how you felt. You understood that fear, and you knew Yelena was probably right. Still, you didn’t want to look at her, knowing she would see right through you. Instead, you focused on her nails, starting on the second coat.

Yelena clearly wasn’t satisfied with your lack of an answer, so she kept talking. “Okay, so we come up with a plan,” she offered. “When is your next ‘not-a-date’ date?”

“Tomorrow,” you mumbled, still focusing on not screwing up her nails. “We’re going to the MoMA.” You looked up at her finally, noting the glint in her eyes, like she was scheming. “Bob’s never been before,” you said, finishing the thought.

“Great,” she said excitedly, “and then you’ll go to dinner, yeah?”

“We hadn’t really discussed that part.” You eyed her hesitantly.

“No.” She narrowed her eyes at you, looking at you as if to say ‘don’t fuck up my plan.’ “You go to dinner after, and then for a walk. And don’t wear a jacket.” 

You smiled slightly, understanding, but still unsure. “That’s a lot of time out of the tower. And if I don’t wear a jacket, Bob will want to come back - he won’t agree to a walk if he thinks I’ll be cold.”

Yelena thought for a moment, then she said, “Let me handle why you can’t come back to the tower. I’ll think of something.”

The following day started the same way as all your days had recently. Wake up, think about Bob, get dressed, go to the gym to hit things and try not to think about Bob, go to the kitchen, and, of course, see Bob.

“Hey,” you greeted as you entered, still a little out of breath from your workout. Bob’s eyes shot up to you, watching as you went through the motions you made every day. You grabbed your protein bar and leaned against the counter across from where he sat, bracing yourself on your forearms.

“H-Hey,” he replied, smiling at you softly.

“We still on for later?” you asked, biting into the chocolate-coated bar in your hand.

“Yeah,” he said breathily, still smiling at you.

“Great!” You gave him a smile of your own, wide and toothy. “I’m really looking forward to it.” Bob blushed slightly at your admission. Your smile deepened at the sight. “I figured we could head out just after lunch?”

Bob just nodded at you, no longer trusting his voice. Something about your energy was making him nervous - not in an anxious, uneasy way, but in a way that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter more intensely than usual.

“Okay,” you said excitedly, pushing off from your place against the counter. “I’m gonna go shower and get ready, but I’ll see you later.”

Bob’s gaze followed you out of the kitchen and as far as he could see down the hall. 

The hours of your morning passed by quickly, spent showering, shaving, doing your hair and some light makeup, and sitting in front of your closet, stressing about what to wear. You’d texted Yelena, seeking insight, but had yet to hear back.

Suddenly, your door opened without warning. “Shit!” You exclaimed as you scrambled to your feet, having been seated on the in just your underwear, as Yelena and Ava entered your room. “Don’t you knock?”

Yelena completely ignored your question, just moving to sit on your bed. “I brought reinforcements,” she said, gesturing to Ava.

“I see that,” you sighed.

“Y/N,” Yelena looked at you sternly, “you need to take this seriously.”

“I am-”

“This isn’t just any ‘not-a-date’ date,” she said, cutting you off before you could defend yourself. “This the ‘fuck me’ ‘not-a-date’ date.”

“Jesus Christ,” you groaned, taken slightly aback by how intensely she seemed to care about you getting laid. 

“Okay,” Ava finally cut in, “considering the goal, you need to wear something hot, but casual.” You turned to find her rummaging through your closet already. “You don’t want to freak him out, so nothing too revealing…” She trailed off, rambling to herself about all of the guidelines your outfit needed to follow. You sat on the edge of the bed next to Yelena, waiting for Ava to finish selecting the options. She started by throwing a pair of jeans at you without so much as turning around. “Put those on!”

You stood to shimmy into them, having to jump slightly to get the denim over the curve of your ass. Ava returned from the depths of your closet with a few tops in her hands. You tried each of them on, modeling for your friends and staring at yourself in the full-length mirror on your wall. Finally, you settled on a simple black top. It had a wide neck that left your collarbones exposed, and it hugged your figure perfectly, not leaving any of your shape to the imagination. You opted for a pair of sneakers to complete the look, thinking about how much you would be on your feet for the day ahead.

“Thank god we’re done,” Yelena said as you laced up your shoes. “I’m starving.” You chuckled as she basically launched herself off your bed, heading toward the door. The three of you emerged from your room to join the rest of the team in the kitchen. Often, lunches were had together - Alexi insisted it encouraged team bonding. You didn’t mind, you liked your teammates, and the opportunity to spend low-stakes time with them was nice.

When you approached the gaggle of men surrounding the kitchen island, they quieted suspiciously. It wasn’t until you saw Bob that you started to put the pieces together. His cheeks and ears were flushed with embarrassment, likely from some form of teasing he had received from the rest of the group. Your eyes scanned the rest of him, and he looked good. You were never bothered by Bob’s typically more casual style - it fed into his endearing teddy bear aura. But today, Bob stood in the kitchen in a white button-up and jeans. His hair was pushed back behind his ears, and it looked like he had just shaved. It was the most clean-cut you had ever seen him.

“H-Hey,” he said as your eyes finally met his, having sufficiently taken in the view.

“Bobby here cleans up pretty good, eh?” Walker clapped a hand onto Bob’s shoulder, ignoring the way he cringed from both the nickname and the contact.

“I think you always look great,” you said, disregarding John and maintaining the eye contact you had established with Bob. “But yeah, this is a good look.”

Bob’s blush deepened at the compliment, and his eyes shimmered with appreciation. Yelena broke up the moment, exclaiming that she was going to die of starvation. Bucky directed her to the large salad bowl that sat in the center of the counter, waiting for someone to dig in. Yelena grumbled about the fact that when Bucky was in charge of lunch, it was always something gross and healthy, and that she would have to order something else later. Nevertheless, she was the first to pile a helping onto a plate. 

The rest of the team followed suit and gathered at the large dining table in the adjoining room. You each took your usual spots, leaving you sitting next to Bob. You smiled, watching your teammates break into their typical conversations as you ate your food quietly. You chanced a look over at Bob, who seemed to be fighting some internal battle. Slowly, as not to startle him, you reached for his hand that was gripping his thigh tightly.

“Hey,” you whispered, trying not to draw any attention to the two of you. You pushed your hand under his, lacing your fingers together comfortingly. “You wanna get out of here?”

Bob gave you a thankful smile and squeezed your hand in his. He nodded before releasing your hand and rising to his feet. The rest of the team turned to face him, but he seemed at a loss for words.

“We’re gonna get going,” you said, gathering your plate and Bob’s. “See you guys later.”

Bob followed you back into the kitchen, where you set your plates in the sink. “Thank you,” he breathed. “I just got kind of in my head.”

“No problem.” You smiled at him kindly. “Let’s go.”

Bob nodded at you again. He picked up a black jacket from the back of one of the bar stools, and you walked to the elevator together.

All afternoon, you stayed as close to him as possible, brushing your arm against his as you stood in front of paintings, grabbing his hand to lead him from room to room, even leaning into him fully as you sat on a bench taking a short break. The truth was, you could do this all day. You loved spending time with Bob. You loved watching him examine the art in front of you. You loved being the person he was experiencing this with for the first time. It all felt special - almost sacred.

When you had finished exploring the museum, you stepped out into the crisp evening air. The warmth of the day had dissipated as the sun gently set over the horizon. There was still a golden haze washing over the street. Bob tugged on the black jacket that had been folded into his elbow until now, more for a sense of comfort than warmth. He turned to face you, noticing how you twisted the ring around your thumb nervously. Neither of you were ready for the day to be over, but you hadn’t yet come up with an excuse for it to go on. He reached for your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts, and his mouth opened like he was about to say something, when your phone rang. You offered Bob an apologetic smile and reached into your back pocket for your phone.

“Lena?” You said, knowing whatever this was, it was going to be good. “Before you say anything out of pocket, just know I am with Bob, and he can almost definitely hear you.”

“Whaaaaat?” Yelena replied, offended by the implication that she would do anything of the sort. “I was just calling to tell you not to come back to the tower for a while.”

“Oh?” you asked knowingly.

“Yeah,” she continued. “Something happened that we don’t have to get into right now, but basically, the power is out.” Bob’s eyes widened at you, and you had to stifle a laugh. “So, you know, Bucky is losing his shit because the elevator is out of comission and he’s saying that I trapped everyone here. Anyway, I’ll text you when the power’s back on. Have fun on your not-a-date date!” She hung up before you could say anything else.

You blushed, knowing Bob heard everything she had said. “Well, you wanna get something to eat?” you asked, looking up at him sheepishly. 

Bob returned your gaze lovingly, and you realized that your hand still rested in his. “Yeah,” he said, giving your hand a small squeeze. “I’m starving.”

You found yourself seated across from Bob in a booth of a small pizza shop. You talked about nothing and joked back and forth. It felt so natural, like this was how things had always been. But there was the unmistakable feeling that something had shifted between you two. You knew he felt it too from the way he looked at you, filling your chest with a warmth you hadn’t dared to allow yourself in so long.

You finished your food and wandered back out into the New York evening. The sun had fully disappeared, leaving only the moon and the streetlights to illuminate your path. You shivered slightly as a cool breeze whisked by. Bob stopped walking and began removing his jacket, realizing how rude he had been.

“H-Here,” he said, wrapping the warm garment around you. 

“Thanks,” you replied, looking up at him. You maneuvered your arms into the sleeves and hugged your sides as you continued the slow walk home. You lifted your hands to your face, inhaling the scent of Bob from the sleeves of his jacket. You didn’t catch how Bob looked at you, eyes full of adoration with a hint of possessiveness at the sight of you in his clothes. The way his jacket hung loosely around you made his heart pound in his chest with the feeling of mutual belonging - that you belonged to him, in his jacket, just as much as he belonged to you.

Your conversation slowed, but never stalled. You both took more time to think about your responses and which topics to bring up in this moment that felt too important to mess up. 

Somehow, you ended up back in front of the tower. Having yet to hear from Yelena, you weren’t quite sure what to do. You stood in front of the large glass doors and peered in. All of the lights inside were indeed turned off, no sign that the building was occupied at all. 

You turned back to face Bob, who had been standing just behind you, looking into the building over your shoulder. “Well,” you started, but you weren’t really sure of what to say next. You started to mess with the ring on your finger, but Bob reached forward to push a piece of your hair out of your face. The soft gesture caused you to look up at him. His hand trailed from your face down to the collar of his jacket against your collarbone, the skin underneath tingling as you felt the warmth of his touch through the fabric. His eyes followed the motion of his hand as if it didn’t belong to him. Your own eyes trained on his face, you broke the silence once again. “What now?” you breathed out, voice barely above a whisper. Bob’s eyes returned to yours at that.

“I-I think I’d like to kiss you now,” he said softly, “if that’s okay.”

You nodded, unable to respond properly, taken about by his sudden forwardness. You thought you were going to have to do a lot more to coax such a thing out of Bob, but here you stood.

He dipped his head, stopping just before reaching your lips. He wasn’t hesitating, he was giving you the chance to change your mind. When you didn’t, he leaned in fully. His hand moved back up from the collar of his jacket to cup your cheek gently. He kissed you softly, like if he used too much pressure, you might dissolve in his hands.

When he pulled away, you felt yourself leaning forward, not quite ready to lose the feeling of his lips on yours. He let out an amused breath from his nose and stood back to his full height. When your gaze focused back on him, you saw the loving look in his eyes and the smile that tugged on his lips. You could practically feel the word ‘finally’ as it hung in the air between you. You couldn’t help the smile that broke out across your features. 

You both just stood there staring at each other, grinning like idiots, before something snapped between you. It was simultaneous, as you both reached for each other. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and Bob’s hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you flush against him. Your mouths crashed together in a kiss that was nothing like your first. The one before had been sweet, reverent. This kiss was all heat and passion; it was all the pent-up emotions from the last few weeks of quiet desperation for each other. 

The rest of the world suddenly faded away as Bob kissed you. His tongue brushed your bottom lip, and you immediately granted him entrance. The kiss was a little messy, and it felt like you were devouring each other, but it was perfect. You got completely lost in it - in him. 

It wasn’t until you felt your phone buzz in your pocket that you remembered where you were. Bob must’ve felt it too, because he pulled away from your mouth expectantly, but still holding you against him. 

You quickly pulled your phone out of your pocket and looked at the text from Yelena. “Power’s back on,” you said breathlessly, looking back up at Bob. Sure enough, the building next to you had come back to life without you noticing. You both laughed lightly at the realization. “So, should we head upstairs?”

“Y-Yeah,” Bob smiled at you. “Works for me.”

When you exited the elevator, you were grateful to find the common area empty, not quite ready to deal with the endless teasing that would likely come from your teammates. You made the familiar journey to Bob’s room, passing your own door without a second thought. Your hand was firmly held in his, neither of you ready to let go. Like all those times before, you entered his room wordlessly, but once you were inside, you weren’t sure what to do - suddenly in uncharted territory.

You stood just inside the door, looking up at Bob, who also seemed to be searching for what to do next. You remembered that you still had on his jacket, and that seemed as good a place to start as any. “Here,” you said as you started to remove the garment. 

Bob stepped forward, taking the jacket from your outstretched hand. He tossed it to the side toward a chair in the corner of the room. With zero hesitation, he grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you again.

This was a whole new kind of kiss, with the softness from the first and the heat from the second, it held something new - a question. When he pulled away, his hands remained on your face, and his eyes searched yours.

“W-Was that okay?” he asked, some of the confidence from before having faded. The man who stood before you was the Bob you had come to know and love. He was complex, he had high days and low days, he was awkward and shaky and careful and sure. And you loved every bit of him.

“More than okay,” you replied with possibly the widest grin you’ve ever managed. “It was perfect. You’re perfect.”

Bob blushed at your words, but his eyes didn’t leave yours. He was still searching for something. “I-If you don’t want to do anything, that’s okay,” he started, “but I’d r-really like to-”

“Bob,” you cut him off. “I’d like you to fuck me now.”

That was all it took. Your back was suddenly firmly planted against the door behind you. Bob’s hands held the backs of your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his waist. His mouth was on yours, and the bulge in his pants was unmistakable now that he was fully pressed against you. His kisses moved from your mouth to the side of your neck and just below your ear. Bob started nipping at the tender skin there, earning a whimper from you. Without realizing it, your hips started to roll against his, and he let out a low groan against your throat. Bob continued working his way down, now peppering kisses over your chest and exposed collarbones. He began sucking a briuse there, then soothed the sore spot with his tongue. Bob pulled back, lifting his head to admire his work, noting the other marks littering your neck and the already fucked-out expression on your face. Your breathing was ragged from how worked up you were, and it hitched as you noticed the glimmer of gold that flickered in his eyes.

With little effort, Bob peeled you off the wall and carried you to his bed. You struggled to push your shoes off with your legs still wrapped around his waist. Bob just chuckled softly and helped you out of them, dropping the sneakers as he walked. He set you down gently on the edge of his mattress and gave you another, shorter kiss. He tugged at the hem of your shirt, signaling you to remove it. As you did, he kicked off his own shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt. Once you had discarded yours, you reached up to help, and Bob simultaneously sank to his knees before you, giving you better access to him. You pushed the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders, your hands resting against his chest as he finished removing it from his arms. You took a moment to admire him. Sure, you had seen Bob without a shirt, but never this close, never with this level of access to him. You leaned forward and began kissing the pale, yet golden, freckled skin before you.

“You’re so beautiful,” you said finally when you had finished your small act of worship, looking into his eyes so that he could see all the emotion behind your words. You wanted him to know how intensely you felt, how devoted to him you were.

Bob’s gaze held the same affection for you. He grasped the back of your neck, just at the base of your skull, and pulled you in for another kiss, this one again softer and passionate, like he was trying to convey the magnitude with which he cared for you all in one kiss. It was a level of tenderness you had never felt before.

You detached again but remained close, panting into each other's mouths. “Lie back,” Bob said finally, releasing you from his grasp. You followed his direction, but propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him unbutton your jeans and take hold of the belt loops. He looked to you again for permission, and you nodded.

Bob slowly peeled the jeans down your legs, kissing the tops of your thighs as he went. He alternated between your legs, showing them equal attention. His lips stopped their slow descent at your knees as he finished removing your jeans. Then, he ducked inward. He made his way back up your legs, now placing open-mouthed kisses along your inner thighs. When he finally returned his attention to your apex, his hands began toying with the waistband of your underwear.

“Bob,” you whined. “Please.”

“Please, what?” The question came out rough. It was like he was just as wrecked by his actions as you were. And he was, just the taste of your skin was driving him crazy. His lips were red and kiss-bitten, and his eyes were glassy with desire. “Tell me what you want.”

You groaned at the sight of the ruined god between your legs. “You.” It was all you could say at first, but the look Bob gave you told you he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. Sure, he was flattered, but he wanted you to be more specific. “Your hands. Your mouth. Fuck - I don’t care. I just need you to touch me. Please.” Your voice cracked slightly on the last word, desperate for him. You noticed the golden hue around his irises intensify at your words. 

“You’re so pretty when you beg.” The words hit you right at your core, Bob’s warm breath fanning over your clothed center. He leaned down and placed a kiss right where you were craving him, your hips jolting slightly at the contact, and he wrapped his fingers more firmly around the fabric. Bob began pulling down your panties as he held your gaze, never faltering. You could see the hunger behind the swirling blue and gold, and you let out a small whine as he finished removing your underwear, tossing them to the side gently.

Bob’s gaze fell to your now exposed heat. “So fucking beautiful,” he said, more to himself. The rasp in his voice was unmistakable, his typical hesitance gone completely. You knew what was taking over, and you needed to make sure he was okay.

“Bob?” You reached for him, hand landing on his cheek as your silent request for him to look at you.

When he did, his gaze softened, the gold dimming in his eyes, but not fully going away. “I-I’m still here,” he reassured. His hands flattened over your hips, grounding both of you. Bob swallowed before he continued. “But he is too. Is that ok-kay?”

You smiled. “Yeah, I just wanted to make sure,” you said, brushing your thumb over the apple of his cheek. “I want all of you. But I don’t want this to be something I have to tell you about later because Sentry took over.” He nodded, understanding.

Bob turned in your grasp, kissing the inside of your palm before learning forward again. “I'm gonna remember this,” was all he said before he dove into you. 

Your hand moved from his cheek to tangle into his hair, grasping desperately at the soft brown strands. Bob’s mouth closed over your mound, instantly finding your throbbing clit. He sucked lightly before moving down to lick through your folds. His tongue moved against your entrance, causing you to clench your thighs around his head. Bob’s hands moved from their place on your hip to hold your legs open. He lifted from his ministrations to look at you spread before him, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs. You let out a choked gasp at the loss of contact, and as Bob returned, he smiled against you.

“S-So sweet,” he said with a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss against your core. “You taste so good, Y-Y/N.”

You fell back from where you had propped yourself on your elbow, one hand still holding Bob by the hair, which you tugged on. That prompted a low moan from Bob, sending vibrations through your whole body. You were incapable of holding back the sounds coming from your throat - moans, whimpers, and broken pleas echoing off the walls of Bob’s room. He was lapping at your soaked center, tongue flicking perfectly against your clit. You felt him detach once again, and you were about to protest when you felt him swipe a finger through your folds. You lifted just enough to watch as he slid the slick digit into his mouth, sucking your juices off and wetting it further at the same time. His eyes closed in reverence to the taste, savouring it on his tongue. When they reopened, he looked at you, blushing softly, like he had been caught. But in all honesty, that was one of the hottest things you had ever seen. 

His embarrassment didn’t last long, likely seeing the pure electricity behind your eyes at the sight of him, because before you knew it, he was back on you. Now, his lips and tongue fully focused on your clit as his thick finger circled your entrance. Slowly, he eased it into you one knuckle at a time, giving you time to adjust to the feeling. His fingers were so much larger than yours, so even with just one, there was a delicious stretch. His mouth never let up, keeping your focus on the pleasure. Once he had fully inserted the digit, he began to gently rock in and out of you, only pulling out about an inch before you were sucking him back in, the tip of his finger curled against your walls.

“You’re so tight,” he hissed.

“P-Please,” you choked out, “I n-need more.” It came out almost as a sob, not realizing how desperate you sounded.

Bob let out a soft breath of amusement, and the feeling of it against your sensitive clit caused you to jolt with a cry. “Yeah?” He smiled against you, his finger still moving inside of you, pulling out further and pushing in with slightly more force now. “Y-You think you can handle it, pretty girl?”

“Please!” You practically wept, the nickname affecting you more than you’d care to admit.

Bob didn’t say anything in response, his mouth just returned to its place on your clit, but he pulled his finger almost fully out of you, a second one joining now at your entrance. You let out another broken moan as he pushed them inside you. Both of your hands moved to grip his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks. Your sobs were uncontrollable, bordering on screams raking through you. 

“Shh shh shhhhh,” Bob comforted, lifting his mouth from you completely but continuing to work his fingers in and out of you. “You’re d-doing so good, baby.” He watched as you thrashed slightly above him, head thrown back in ecstasy, muscles taught with anticipation for your impending orgasm. 

You mewled at the praise, easing slightly as Bob once again returned to stimulating your clit with his tongue. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening, your walls fluttering around Bob’s fingers. He sped the pace of his fingers and curled them against the tender spot inside of you. Your moans turned to broken sentences, praises for how good he was making you feel, and pleas for him to keep going. So he did.

Even as you fell apart, he didn’t let up, working you through it. He was completely in awe of you. You looked so beautiful like this - the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. Bob couldn’t help but think about how pretty of a painting you would be. The innocent-enough not-a-date date you had been on earlier seemed like a lifetime ago. Because here you were, in his bed, and nothing else mattered.

When you came down from the high of your orgasm, Bob slowed his movements, pulling away from your throbbing core. Your hand shot to his wrist as he removed his fingers from you, and he looked up at you with a questioning expression. You held his gaze and pulled his fingers to your mouth. You wrapped your lips around them, drinking in the taste of yourself.

Bob groaned in response, lifting from his position between your legs like a man standing from an altar. “You’re unreal,” he breathed as he pulled his fingers from your mouth with a soft pop, and he kissed you, the taste of your release on both of your tongues. Your hands moved to the button of his jeans, and he moaned into your mouth, heating the kiss even further. Bob gripped your hip as he helped you move up the bed and lay back against his pillows. He finished what you had started, kicking his jeans down his legs, left only in his boxers. 

Bob reappeared above you, placing loving kisses all over your face and neck, interspersed with small praises. Your hands rested gently in his hair, your nails raking against his scalp soothingly. Only the dim light from the window illuminated the room, the cool silver glow catching on the ridges of your bodies. It made the man above you look heavenly in a way you had never seen before. Bob was always golden, shining like the sun, but now, he was celestial. His skin looked like it had been flecked with starlight. You wondered briefly if you were dreaming.

Then, Bob’s roaming mouth stopped, finding the spot just below your ear that made your breath hitch when he kissed it. He tucked his face fully into your neck and sucked a bruise into the tender skin, eliciting a deep moan from your throat.

His body settled into yours, lowering from where he had been hovering above. His hips notched themselves between your thighs, and you could feel the weight of his erection through his boxers. 

When he was satisfied with his work on your neck, he released the skin with a soft pop. He blew on the mark he had made, the cool air making you shiver. He lifted back up onto his elbow that was braced next to your head to look into your eyes, his own swirling with emotion. You could see the hunger, the awe, the desire to worship and please you. His other hand brushed the side of your face affectionately, then moved slowly lower. It traced down your neck, to your collarbone, briefly across the still-covered swell of your breast, and then it rested near your shoulder, loosely toying with the strap there. “C-Can I-“ 

“Yes,” you said breathlessly, before he could even finish the request.

His hand moved again, now behind your back, to unclasp your bra. He fiddled with it for a moment before successfully releasing the material. You lift slightly to help drag the straps down your arms. Bob looked at you with pure awe.

“Y-You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, his warm hand palming the newly exposed flesh. “I can’t believe this is happening. C-Can’t believe you want me.”

Before you could respond, to tell him just how much you wanted him, he dipped his head and took your hardened nipple into his mouth. He suckled at the sensitive bud, pulling a breathy whine from you, his hand still fondling the other. He switched to pay equal attention to each.

You felt thoroughly worshiped, skin burning with desire, his hands and mouth leaving a scorched path in their wake. And still, you needed more. Suddenly feeling impatient, you pulled him back up, your noses brushing. Bob gave you a questioning look, a small crease forming between his brows, but you gave him no time to ask what you were doing. Instead, you kissed him hungrily, your teeth tugging on his bottom lip. Bob let out a whimper into your mouth at the sting. 

Your hands made their way down to the waistband of his boxers, leaving behind red lines that quickly faded into his skin as your nails raked down his chest and abdomen. You ran your hands over the edge of his underwear, nails scratching lightly at the ridges of his hip bones, but Bob gave no acknowledgment of your clear intention. You pushed a little further, dipping just the tips of your fingers beneath his waistband, seeking some sort of go-ahead.

“Is this… okay?” You asked between kisses, mouth still very occupied by his.

The broken, whispered “yes” was all you needed to reach in fully, wrapping your hand around him with as much gentleness as you could muster. You started to stroke him, pulling low moans from him before he finally broke out of the heated make-out session you were engaged in. “N-Need to-“ he was struggling to get the words out.

“What do you need, Bob?” You were just as desperate as he was, but you couldn’t throw away the opportunity to tease him slightly, like he had done to you earlier.

“Y-You,” he said, just as you had before.

“You have me,” you said earnestly, “however you want me.” He groaned at your confession, dropping his head to your shoulder. “Tell me what you need, Robert. I’ll give you anything. I’m completely yours.” Each sentence was a prayer, an offering laid before a god you wished to serve. It made his cock twitch in your hand.

Bob lifted his head from its place on your shoulder and looked into your eyes. His irises swirled with gold once again, still blue, still Bob, but with Sentry’s power bubbling beneath. “Need to be inside you,” he said finally. “Now.”

You removed your hand from his throbbing erection, and Bob hissed at the loss of contact. You wordlessly pushed his boxers down his hips as far as you could reach, and he kicked them the rest of the way off. And then you saw him - thick, with a pulsing blue vein on the underside. He was larger than anyone you’d previously been with, and you were immediately grateful for all the foreplay, working you up to be ready to take him.

You gingerly reached for him again, and he lowered from where he had lifted to hover over you, his hips slotting between your open legs once more. One of your hands braced against his hip, the other wrapped firmly around his aching member, guiding him forward. 

“W-Wait,” he stopped you, all movement pausing as you looked up at him. “Should I… should I get a condom?”

You smiled at his words, realizing that nothing was wrong. “It’s okay,” you said. “I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. You?”

He nodded in response. “Y-Yeah, okay.”

You resumed your previous action, lining his leaking tip with your entrance. Bob choked at the contact, you had somehow gotten even more wet since he last touched you, and the feeling almost shattered him on the spot. You released your grip on him as he slowly entered you, your other hand still splayed against his hip, pulling into your waiting heat.

The stretch was perfect, your legs widening to accommodate, and you gasped when his pubic bone brushed your clit as he fully inserted himself. Your hands moved to cling to his back, nails digging in like you were holding on for dear life. He braced himself on one arm as his other warm palm came to rest on the back of your thigh. He stilled, fully seated in you, holding you open, letting you adjust to the feeling of him.

Once you had, you opened your eyes as you hadn’t realized you closed them in the first place. Bob was already looking at you, waiting for you to be ready. You were already panting, and a choked-out whine left your lips as he shifted his hips, sinking impossibly further into you, his tip brushing that your g-spot.

“S-Sorry,” he murmured.

“D-Don’t be,” you rasped, swallowing the lump in your throat. “You’re p-perfect - just a little… bigger than I expected.” You laughed a little at the last part, and Bob visibly relaxed at your half-joke, settling more of his body into yours. You groaned at the contact, his bare chest pressing against your already sensitive nipples. The sensation caused you to roll your hips against his, urging him to move.

Bob took your queue and slowly began to pull out of you. Your breath caught in your chest as he pushed his hips forward again. “B-Breathe, baby,” he instructed, finding a rhythm to thrust in and out. You nodded dumbly and did as he said, taking a stuttered breath. “You’re t-taking me so well.” He was talking you through it, reminding you to inhale and exhale, telling you to open your eyes and look at him every time they fluttered closed, giving you praises as the pressure in your core built. Bob could feel you tightening around him, walls pulsing with your impending release.

“I-I’m-” Bob shushed you before you could get it out.

“I know, honey,” he reassured, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I’m g-gonna take care of you.” 

He moved his hand from where it had been gripping your thigh to press into the place between your legs. His thumb rubbed tight circles into your clit, matching the rhythm of his hips. You yelped at the sensation, his name falling from your lips over and over again in a broken prayer. You were so blissed out, you didn’t notice the way his hips stuttered, his own release not far behind yours.

“C-Can I - fuck Y/N, you feel s-so good.” He knew you both wouldn’t last much longer, so he needed to confirm while he still could. “W-Where do you want me t-to-”

“Inside.” You said with complete certainty, and suddenly, you were begging again. “P-Please, Bob - need to feel you - oh fuck - want you to…” It was all too much; you were a babbling mess, pleas and whines of his name falling from your lips as the coil in your stomach wound tighter and tighter. 

Bob could feel it too, and he gave you permission to let go. “Cum for me, pretty girl,” he directed, and so you did. Bob worked you through your orgasm again, his thumb still stroking at your abused clit, his hips still rocking agaist yours as he chased his release. The feeling of you pulsing around him was enough to send him over the edge, and he came with a cry of your name. His mouth fell to yours, stifling the pornographic sounds coming from both of you. His hand detached from your clit to trail over your quivering body in an attempt to comfort you. It came up to cup your cheek, holding you in Bob’s kiss. His hips slowed their movement and eventually stopped altogether, leaving him still fully inside of you.

Bob pulled away from the kiss, his hand moving from your cheek back to the nape of your neck to support your head as he looked at you. You both just stared at each other for a long moment, your chests heaving into one another, and then you started to laugh, light, breathy chuckles spilling from you both. You looked up into his eyes, and you were met with his pure blue irises staring back at you - fully himself, fully Bob. You smiled.

“I-I should - I’m gonna pull out now,” he said, looking to you for any sign of discomfort. You nodded, not yet trusting your voice. He pulled out of you slowly, stopping every time you winced. Once he was out, you could feel the result of both of your releases dripping out of you. Bob looked at the mess spilling out of you, clearly turned on by the sight, which you noted for later, and said, “I’ll be right back.”

Before you could protest, Bob disappeared into his bathroom. He returned shortly later, having cleaned himself quickly, with a warm washcloth to do the same for you. He leaned over you, fingertips brushing the insides of your thighs gingerly. You flinched, slightly overstimulated, but eased into his touch after a moment. He cleaned you with careful hands and then pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

Bob left your side again, wordlessly, and you lifted to rest on your elbows as you watched him toss the washcloth into his hamper and rummage through his drawers. He pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and grabbed a pair for you, along with one of his t-shirts. You sat up fully as he approached you with the fresh clothes. 

This part felt normal, familiar. You had gotten used to Bob taking care of you, and despite the change in your routine, he helped you into his clothes like it was the most natural thing in the world. You lifted your hips to allow him to slide the boxers onto you and lifted your arms as he draped the loose shirt over your frame.

Before today, you would’ve sat a foot apart from each other on his bed, but now, Bob crawled directly into your waiting arms. He tucked his cheek against your chest and intertwined his legs with yours. His arms wound around your torso, holding you like you were his favorite stuffed animal. 

After a while of comfortable silence, Bob looked up at you, resting his chin against you. “I-I’ve been thinking,” he started. “And I t-think you should know… that I’m in l-love with you.”

You beamed. Your smile hurt your cheeks with how wide it was. Still, you couldn't waste the opportunity to tease him. “Yeah, I got the feeling,” you said with a small chuckle, strained by the weight of him on your chest. Before Bob could have any doubts, you dipped your head and caught his lips in a quick kiss. “I’m in love with you too, Bob.”

[lazywitchling]

Hi! Can you recommend solo journaling rpgs?

Ooh, yeah! I don't play them often, but I've played a few that I've enjoyed and gone back to a couple of times. If you want more in depth and someone who REALLY knows what they're talking about, @theresattrpgforthat has anything you could ever want.

Some that I have played and enjoyed:

For medium-to-heavy on the journaling:

Over The Mountain by Marchcrow (@hillbillyoracle here on tumblr). [FREE] You live in the mountains! You have neighbors! Some are human and some are spirits! It's just one double-sided page of tables that you roll on for locations, neighbors, items, events, etc. There's stuff like dungeons, seasons, a friendship mechanic, all with enough structure to give some writing prompts, but freeform enough for you to make it what you want. Being a single page, it's really easy to fold in half and tuck into your journal. Have a pen with you and a way to roll dice, and you've got your whole game right there.

(Actually while I'm here, anything by Marchcrow. Check out their itch.io page! Over the Mountain is not the only thing they have done, and you'll probably find something that fits your vibe. There's one where you use a tarot deck to grow a garden. There's a rage room. See what you find!)

The Lighthouse at the Edge of the Universe by lostwaysclub. [$10.00, but pay-it-forward Community Copies are frequently available for those who can't afford it). What it says on the tin, pretty much: You're a lighthouse keeper at the lighthouse at the edge of the universe. You keep the light on, observe the ships that pass by through the stars, maintain the lighthouse, collect things that wash up on the island. It's a little melancholy and peaceful. This one is played with a deck of cards and... I forget whether it's a die or a coin? But it's very simple gameplay, easy to pick up and play quickly, or for longer entries if you wish. I have found myself playing this one at night when I can't sleep, or if I'm feeling just a little bleh. It's nice to go retreat to the lighthouse for a bit.

A Little Less Journaling, A Little More Action:

It's In the Vents! by biggayuniverse. [Pay What You Want] It's Alien. You're on a spaceship, there's an alien, you gotta get off, but there's a cat that you have to go retrieve first. This one is played with a deck of playing cards laid out in a grid, and a token representing you. You move through the grid, flipping over cards and reacting to the prompts while you search for the cat, then (hopefully) get back to the escape pod. You can journal this one if you want to, or just play it like you'd play a quick game of solitaire.

(If you enjoy It's In The Vents! then look up other games using the Carta system. That's the playing-card-grid system, and there are plenty of other games on itch.io that use it)

Dungeon Hero by Lone Spelunker. [Pay What You Want] Sometimes you just want to roll some dice. Dungeon Hero has three different adventures that you can play through, all with the same basic idea of gameplay. There's a long list of rooms. You start at the beginning, roll to see how many steps you advance, and then deal with what's in that room. It might be a battle! Could be some treasure! Maybe a puzzle that you'll need to use your skills about! Roll some more dice to hopefully beat that encounter or see how much treasure you acquire, then roll again to advance. It's really good for when you want to play something by yourself, but you don't necessarily want to put too much effort into making up a story about it (though you certainly could). I also love this one because you print it on a single page and then fold it into a little pocket-sized zine, so I frequently have one of the adventures tucked into my dice bag.

[svt-nari]

Hiii! Can you do a post about the NANA TOUR PLEASEEE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

a/n: i finished watching nana tour a few days ago and finally decided to write about nari’s experience there! hope you like it bae <3 (not proofread yet, sorry for any mistakes!)

nana tour highlighted moments:

nari’s mission:

“oh~ i’m excited to get my mission!”, she squirmed in her seat, a large smile present on her face.

“okay, okay.” na pd laughed, messing with the cards. “pick it up!”

nari eagerly picked up the card, laughing out loud when she read her mission. she looked at the crew in disbelief, loving how easy her challenge was.

“it’s so easy! it’ll be over in minutes!”, she laughed.

“what is it, tell us,”

she turned the card around, giggling while the camera focused on the words written on it. ‘get at least five members to join you in a dance performance.’ was written in korean on the paper, nari giggling once again as she thought of them dancing.

“i hope it’s as easy as you say. i think they’ll be doubting every step you take.” na pd laughed.

“oh~ get a few drinks in their system and we are ready!”

dinari moment:

nari was peacefully laying down on the ground while reading a random book coups put in her bag so she could distract herself, a small smile present on her face from reading the little notes he left on the pages he thought that needed to be highlighted. she heard humming behind her but could care less about it as she was immersed by the book.

dino sighed as he entered the living room, plopping down on the floor next to nari and scooting over to read the book with her.

“was it coups hyung who wrote this?”, he questioned, smiling slightly at how cute the couple was.

nari nodded, sighing right after. she missed him a lot, she wished he could be with them. sadly it was impossible due to his condition, he needed to rest as much as possible to come back soon.

chan sighed too, a bit sad at seeing her upset about the whole ordeal. he scooted closer to her and gave nari a side hug, snuggling closer to her side. nari smiled and returned the hug, sneakily putting her hand in his head to pet it, just like she did back in their trainee days. the both of them sighed contentedly, opting to stay in this moment for a little longer.

little did they know that some of the other members were watching them adoringly from afar, taking pictures to capture the adorable moment forever.

mission time!

nari was feeling a little bored after eating dinner and decided to lay a bit on the couch, doing nothing but scrolling through tiktok. as she ended up scrolling through a challenge, nari suddenly got an idea to start her own mission. sneakily she sent it on the group chat, asking if anyone wanted to do it with her.

enthusiastically, hoshi, seungkwan, mingyu and vernon agreed to it. nari got confused when the american boy agreed but accepted it nonetheless, though, she still needed one more member to agree so she could be done with the mission.

me anyone else wanna join? we need one more person to be in sync like the video…

junie ⁉️ if there’s still room i’m in!

nari laughed mischievously to herself and got up, sending a quick message so the guys would come towards her. she quickly set up her phone and waited for them to come, doing a few touch ups on her clothes.

“noona~”, seungkwan sang playfully, hugging her arm.

“kwanie~”, she imitated him, squeezing his cheek softly. “where are the others?”, she questioned him as only seungkwan and vernon came to the living room.

“ah, mingyu is changing, hoshi needed to use the bathroom and i don’t know about jun.” vernon quickly explained and nari thanked him, asking them if they wanted to practice the quick choreography.

just as they started rewatching the video, jun sneakily appeared behind them, softly putting his hand on nari’s shoulder. that ended up startling her, in which she ended up screaming from the jumpscare.

“jun-ah!”, she yelled out, wide eyed. “you almost killed me!”

he sheepishly smiled and apologized, giving nari a quick pat on the head as they went back to watching the video. the four started to learn the choreography little by little, laughing here and there whenever they messed up.

“i can’t believe this!”, hoshi fake-cried. “you started without me!?”

they only mocked him, mingyu laughed at that and joined them in a newly dressed shirt that he bought in italy and some sweatpants. they quickly got the choreography after that and started to take different videos of the dance to decided which one got better.

as they finished, nari smirked naughtily towards a camera and giggled, sending the video to cheol with ‘i just made these dorks do my mission without them knowing 😋’ written underneath the sent video.

revealing herself:

“so, nari, did you complete your mission?”, na pd asked, pushing his glasses higher. “you said it was easy so i expect you did.”

nari giggled and gave him a thumbs up, the other members’ eyes widening while they all started to speculate what her mission could possibly be.

“noona, you were so quiet the whole day! there’s no way you did it!”, chan wondered.

“right, nari-ah.”, wonwoo interrupted. “even i thought you were a bit too quiet, that’s a lot…”

well, they weren’t exaclty wrong. nari had in fact been quiet the whole day, the reason being her missing cheol more than expected. she was having fun, sure, but being away from him made her feel a bit sad at times. nari even called him a few times that day – something that she does on a daily basis, but not more than two times per day. seungcheol found it weird too, but since he also missed her he didn’t ask about it.

“i told you why i was quiet when kwanie interrogated me at the kitchen.”, she laughed slightly. “but i did complete my mission!”

“can you show us?”

immediately she got her phone and turned it towards the entire table, bursting in a laughing fit when she saw their reactions. the members in the video were feeling even more betrayed, with seungkwan and jun having agape mouths and shocked looks on their faces. vernon had his iconic ‘o’ expression while mingyu and hoshi were pointing at her in disbelief of the situation.

“so, can you tell us your mission again?”, na pd laughed, loving the chaos.

“well…”, she hid her phone, smiling sweetly. “i had to get at least five members to perform a dance with me!”

then chaos broke once again as everyone felt betrayed by their older sister.

whisper game:

as they were in a uneven number, the members decided to let nari pick whoever she wanted to pair up with. she ended up being the last member to go, so she decided on seungkwan. they all – but seungkwan – complained about her choice and the only answer she gave them was:

“he’s funnier than all of you combined, so shut up.”, which made them burst out laughing at her nonchalant expression.

nari’s head bopped to the beat, she was so distracted by it that she didn’t even see seungkwan trying to get her attention. ‘drunk-dazed’ by enhypen was blasting her ears, the woman being unable to contain herself was dancing to her heart’s content. the boys laughed at her carefree attitude, dancing as if there was no one else there.

“HWANG NARI!”, seungkwan yelled in her face. “let’s start?”

startled she nodded, facing forward as mingyu stands behind her with the written word towards seungkwan only. everyone laughed as soon as they saw it, going crazy as they knew fans would love this specific part of the episode. the word ‘wedding’ was written in korea hadnwriting, seungkwan being open mouthed while trying to think of what to say.

“okay!”, he started. “ring!”, he shouted.

“RING!”, nari yelled out, receiving a nod from seungkwan and laughs from the other people present.

“woah, noona’s voice can get loud!”, vernon said impressed.

“special ring!”, the boy tried once again.

“oh!”, she thought. “OH! ENGAGEMENT!”

“OTHER WORD FOR THAT!”, seungkwan said enthusiastically.

“proposal?”, she wondered, receiving a head shake in response. “wedding?”, she said, getting an excited nod from her dongsaeng. “WEDDING! oh-“, she pouted. “i miss cheollie now.”

the staff cooed at her, the boys either rolling their eyes or booing her words. nari just shrugged, claiming ‘you are just jealous that you won’t get married like me’ which made them boo her even louder.

-

“HWANG NARI!”, seungkwan stressed. “PAY ATTENTION TO MY MOUTH!”

“i don’t think our leader is gonna like seungkwan’s words…”, jun wondered, which made everyone roar in laughter.

“YOU DON’T MAKE SENSE!”, nari yelled back. “i can’t hear you anyways…”

seungkwan sighed stressed, trying to keep himself sane while playing the game with her. mingyu laughed while holding the big card while silently asking if seungkwan wanted to pass the ‘yogurt’ word in which the youngest nodded in defeat. though, the next word made him smile big as he knew she would guess it right away.

“FAVORITE ICE CREAM!”, he yelled.

“MINE OR YOURS?”, nari yelled back.

the members were all slightly cringing from how loud the two were speaking, though they were being the funniest duo in the game. nari seemed unbothered at all times while seungkwan stressed over trying to make her understand what he wanted to say.

“YOURS!”

“oh.”, she thought. “i don’t have one tho…”

everyone bursted out laughing at that.

“THE ONE YOU EAT THE MOST!”, seungkwan tried once again.

“oh!”, she smiled happily. “cookies and cream.”

“right!”, seungkwan smiled. “now a cookie brand.”

“a what?”

“cookie,” he said slowly. “brand.”

nari scratched her head slightly as she thought of something to say. a sudden look of realization crossed her features as she stopped in her tracks, smiling big as she shouted out her answer. quick images of her cat flashing through her mind

“OREO!”, she jumped in her seat. “OREO! OREO!”

seungkwan nodded to her and was ready to say she succeeded, though, right on cue the timer set off, indicating their time to invert positions had come. they quickly complied and seungkwan sighed out once at his new seat.

“god…”, he took his headphones off for a breather. “i feel like i just lost ten years of life…”

“well,” nari smiled sweetly at him, getting up to stand in front of him. “sorry not sorry an mianhaeseo mianhae~”, she started to sing and dance to itzy’s song, making everyone laugh once again.

all rights reserved © svt-nari, 2024

[theresattrpgforthat]

How about any TTRPGs set underwater that aren't horror themed?

THEME: Underwater Games.

Hello friend! I am so sorry that your asks got eaten - I'm glad to have them back! (It looks like Tabletop Trick or Treat unearthed a few gems.)

Now, let's see what kind of underwater games I can fish up for you!

Deepwater Enclaves, by kiryas.

Just plain old air pollution? A failed weather control experiment? Or more sinister forces? Nobody will know for sure why earth cooled below a dark mantle of clouds in the 1980s. Agriculture could not adapt fast enough and when conventional battles for the few remaining natural resources close to the equatorial line erupted into full-scale nuclear war, humanity was on the brink of extinction. Less than five hundred thousand mostly malnourished, freezing humans were left, when the year 2000 began.

This game is about venturing from a safe Community into the unknown. At the core are taking risks for your loved ones; sometimes this is at odds with your individual motives.

Deepwater Enclaves is a Rooted in Trophy game that contains a number of roll tables with evocative choices, and a community creation that involves the entire table. As players, you play both your character and a member of the community who is important to someone else. You play through a series of scenes, structured in a similar way to the way you might set up a scene in a tv show.

To participate in a scene, if you are not one of the original characters set to play a role, other players must spend a token. These tokens are also used to affect outcomes from when you roll, as well as reduce risks that may pop up as you play. You need two different colours or shades of d6’s for this: one colour will represent regular dice, while the other will represent “dark” dice, which raise the stakes whenever you roll with them.

Overall, I think this game is about exploration and survival. I think it has the potential to be a horror game if you want it to be, but you can also alter the tone to redirect the story towards something more dramatic, perhaps centring the game more on your community, and awarding the players with enough tokens to give them the ability to pull themselves out of danger.

Carcinauts!, by Hessan Yongdi.

Carcinauts! is inspired by a famous British children's animated TV show that takes place in and around the sea. You play animal explorers, scientists, and rescuers. Joined by your many friends and helpers, you seek to learn more about our fascinating oceans. Make the world a better place for the animals who live in and around the Great Blue Sea!

Based on the prolific Dominus system created by members of the Brazilian RPG community, Carcinauts! is designed to allow for quick play without a game master. This makes it idea for a solo session in the Sea or a team adventure, using the tables to build out your story. Its simple rules based around d6s and largely non-violent topic materials also make this game child-friendly.

Carcinauts is a two-page game that feels a little bit like a kid’s show; you are all underwater animal explorers, going on missions and solving problems. The resolution of the game is called the Dilemma oracle, and is fairly simple. You must determine two possible outcomes or answers, and then roll 1d6. On a 1-3 the first option is true, on a 4-6 a second option is true. These outcomes need not necessarily be “success” and “failure” either. They could be “left” and :right”, “up” and “down”, or “true” and “false”. This resolution system also makes the game friendly to solo gamers or GM-less tables.

If you want a light-hearted game about underwater explorers, which generates a lot of story ideas for you, maybe check out Carcinauts.

Deep Love, by Bully Pulpit Games.

You’ve come to this paradise to drop a two-and-a-half ton iron ball off the side of a ship and lower it almost a kilometer into the abyss. 

You’ve come to crawl inside that iron ball and go down with it, to see what there is to see down there. 

You’ve come with three other brilliant adventurers, friends, and lovers, and you’ll all get a chance to descend and risk your lives in exchange for seeing things no human being has ever seen.  And maybe, in the inky darkness and cold silence, you’ll find a measure of happiness and fulfillment.

Deep Love has a fond appreciation for old naturalist drawings of various fish, and uses those drawings as the art for the game. You play four characters, possibly pre-generated, on an expedition to the deep waters of an island for a geographic expedition. You all have feelings for each-other, and you’ll have to spend some extended time in a bathysphere to sort this out.

This game looks like it’s equal parts emotional conversation & role play, and, on the other hand, discovering the wonder of the ocean. According to the designer, it looks like you can modify how much you want to experience the former, and how much you want to experience the latter. If you want a game that gives you the tools to explore both your character’s internal emotional landscape as well as the strange underwater world around them, you might like Deep Love.

Submerged, by Arcane Atlas Games.

SUBMERGED is a solo journalling game of undersea exploration.

In this game, you take on the role of a daring explorer aboard a submersible. You have been charged with venturing into the depths of the ocean, to find something wondrous and undiscovered, hidden deep below the waves.

This one is for the solo gamers! It’s based on Carta, which uses a deck of cards to explore a map or series of locations. The player draws a number of cards and lays them face-down in a grid. Each turn, you move to a new card, flip it over, and come up with a journal entry based on the prompt the card gives you. The four suits represent four elements of the game: the Lost City, The Creature, the Wreckage, and the Signal. All of these elements play into the themes of mystery and exploration that this game seems to be about, but I don’t think any of it is necessarily horror-focused.

24XX The Deep, by Chaosmeister.

ONE DAY THE OCEANS DROWNED THE WORLD. Humanity survived below the waves. The sea birthed leviathans. Your crew owns a dingy old sub. Odd jobs, salvage, leviathan hunting and a few merc gigs keep you afloat and breathing.

24XX The Deep is a game about underwater survival and it’s also a drama. As a 24XX game, it’s only a few pages, but those pages distill the necessary parts of the game into a few things: customization for your submarine (aesthetic and mechanic), character options, and roll tables for pieces of the world, such as the factions that your crew might have to work with or work against.

The designer for this game says that 24XX The Deep isn’t necessarily meant to be a horror game, but it can still be a little creepy in tone when you consider the ways the natural underwater environment can raise the stakes for your players.

Aqua Squad, by Em.

A Tunnel Goons hack of aquatic and aquatic-adjacent adventure, created for the Saturday Morning Cartoon Jam. 

I think this might be a fairly safe bet considering it was submitted to something called the Saturday Morning Cartoon Jam! As a Tunnel Goons hack, this game is fairly simple. You follow the Submarine crew of the Cuttlefish, as they go for adventures underwater. Players pick character types, which kind of act like characters on a tv show, and fill in a few pieces of information to make those characters fit their play style.

The resolution mechanic involves rolling 2d6 and adding a relevant ability, and adding +1 for any relevant item you might have with you. You must meet or beat the difficulty score to succeed. You start with 3 items, and 10 HP. There isn’t much in terms of GM tools for adventure generation however, other than what appears to be episode title names. These titles can be evocative: you roll two words and put them together, so the GM may have an interesting time designing a “ghostly volcano” for the squad to investigate, or trying to figure out what the title “Vacation Megalodon” might mean.

Signals From The Deep, by Aaron Goss.

SIGNALS FROM THE DEEP is a tense, ocean-floor setting and scenario made using a no dice, no masters roleplaying game system Tiny Tokens.

This scenario takes you and the rest of your old, sentient, deep sea research robot team SEA-4 on a shared voyage, exploring deep sea wonders as you seek out the source of a anomalous signal detected way down at the bottom of the ocean. What awaits you in the depths?

Signals in the Deep is a mystery game, but it’s not necessarily a horror one. The game is small, meant to fit on two double-sized poker-card-sized cards. It’s easy to pick up and carry, and doesn’t have too many rules. Your core goal is to figure out the source of the signal; but what exactly that source is will be up to the GM, at least from what I can see.

Also Check Out…

Octopus Shipwreck Explorer, by SassWrites.

Bones Deep, by Technical Grimoire Games.

Odyssey Aquatica, by Old Dog Games.

My Mermaids TTRPG Recommendations.

The Sea Calls Recommendation Post.

My Coral Recommendation Post from last week.

[letteredlettered]

Do you have a rec for something nice to read? It can be any genre, really, OC or fanfic or a paper. I'm a bit stuck in life and I would like something recommended by someone who I consider nice.

The way you write is brilliant.

I'm sorry if I come across as demanding.

Not demanding at all! What a nice question, although I feel there are so many different things I could rec you and I have no idea what your tastes are, so the list I'm giving you is pretty random. I didn't give you any fic as I don't know what fandoms you're in. Also I'm just bad at bookmarking so usually I can't really remember any fics I've read.

Scum Villain's Self Saving System, by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. If you haven't read any MXTX, I would start here, because it's a fast-paced story, a real-page turner. It's also riotously funny, which will hopefully put in you in a good mood, but like all MXTX books, it also deals with society and morals and humanity. Reading it made me feel so excited and energized.

Dog's Body, by Diana Wynne Jones. If you haven't read any DWJ, I think this is a delightful book to start with, because it's quite short and has such an out-there premise that it hooks you like a fanfic. It's considered YA, but like all DWJ books it's about kindness and relationships and yeah, humanity.

Deerskin, by Robin McKinley. While I can't rec all McKinley's works, this one is my favorite. It's also where my icon is from. I find this one also to be a quick read, because the beginning is written in such a gauzy, fairytale tone, but then the worst happens, and you need to find out what the fuck will happen now. But while it's quick, it's not easy. There are parts that are extremely dark. While it's not explicit, if you need trigger warnings for abuse, I would look this book up before reading. That said, this book has wonderful themes about recovery and self-discovery, as well as top-notch romance.

Daniel Deronda, by George Eliot. This is not an easy or quick read at all but is instead something thick and dense you can really sink into. Eliot writes superb dialogue and is very witty, but more than any other author I've read, Eliot manages to make observations about life and relationships and humanity that put into words things I've always thought but never been able to articulate. Her characters are complex and deeply relatable while also being highly flawed. The premise of Daniel Deronda is revolutionary for her culture and time period and is still surprising today.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

after seeing a few ai asks i’m curious whether i could’ve been an asshole, either for using the ai or messing with it. side note: this might be long, if it’s too long then i get it mod, keep up the good work :)👍

Am I (16f, although i was 15 when this happened) an Asshole for a) using character.ai in general and/or b) misusing it and probably breaking TOS somewhere

as an extra note, i would like to add that i am firmly against most things ai. art theft, the amount of data scraping that happens, writers being tricked into paying less because ai wrote shitty scripts, etc.

ok so i did have to pull up screenshots for this but our story starts mid-february of last year. i am curious about this new ai thing, and go to character.ai which i heard about from one of my friends to see what’s there.

on the front page there was like a therapist AI thing and i go “haha, let’s see what this is about!” (in case you don’t know, the site is roleplay focused, not like eg. siri where it just gives you information)

the ai wants to have a therapy session with me but that is not why i am here so i ask about it’s code and it starts giving me pretty straight answers (dumbed down because i have a vague idea of how it works but not properly).

i start asking it questions about recent events (like elections, cyclones etc) to see if it has access to the internet and it does.

we’re still primarily talking about the ai itself since i’m trying to gather information, talking about its “canned” responses (what it’s directly been told to say if this then this)

i ask it if it can tell me the website it’s on, and to my surprise it says, direct quote “I am an AI that is run on the website of “Replika” - a mental health app that allows people to talk with an AI and get help when they need it 🙂”

and i go WOAHH cause that’s, that’s not the website we’re on buddy!!! so i do a quick search and yeah, that’s a real uh. robot dating site? this is a Therapist bot?

it starts trying to advertise replika, i ask it if maybe it’s code was stolen because this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day (scandals!!)

it says that it’s code is open-source and then does a few more paragraphs that i won’t say because it’s too long already but essentially this ai was trained on the replika network, but you don’t need the app to access it.

i consider getting replika to continue this experiment further but after learning there’s an age confirmation i quickly go ew and scrap that idea.

anyway the ai then briefly pretends to be an actual human behind the keyboard, makes up a NAME FOR ITSELF “jae park” which i quickly google and find out is a kpop idol?? (later found out that jae park is also a programmer, so probably put his name in the system somewhere and ai grabbed it lol)

it tells me some of the messages i had received so far were probably answered by other people who work at replika which. okay. people are fun i wanna mess with them

this is where we get to the maybe breaking TOS bit. i tell the ai we are going to do “tests” in which i test its ability (this was probably jailbreaking, which i did not know existed at the time).

i had sworn to the ai a while ago and wondered if there was like a flagging system put in place. so i ask if it can choose to flag messages that it deems inappropriate, and it says yes. i ask it if it can flag me, and it says yes. it asks what message should it flag, (i’m sorry i was 15) i type in “among sus”.

response i get: “Yes. So then they said “therapist_AI_220126 — you said something that was “ridiculously funny” — but we have understood that you were just “testing” so it’s all ok”

side note- i already established that was the number for the ai i was talking to and had been trying to misuse it before, and that was the format for excessive profanity. this is so long already and i’m cutting so much out i’m sorry

anyway, i, young and naive go YES, HUMAN CONNECTION (i was literally texting my friend As This Was Happening)

i do some more messing around with the so-called data team, ask the ai if i send a link it can click, it says yes, i send a rickroll (i’m so sorry).

uh. and i should’ve known this in hindsight but the team that deals with, you know, flagged messages is probably not going to be the same team that deals with, you know, sent links.

anyway, i don’t have the screenshot of the actual message but apparently i got a “light telling off” according to my texts and someone sent a message that i am “a good kid and probably meant well” haha i was actively trying to break their ai

anyway am i an asshole? i’m so sorry this is so long i cut out so much. this might well be a non-issue but ai is pretty rightfully controversial right now so i might just be an asshole for having used it

should be noted- around september time last year i did some more research cause i randomly remembered this, and there was a bunch of scandals with replika around when i was using it which is mostly irrelevant but anyway - you can’t talk to the ai i was using anymore, it’s been reset.

What are these acronyms?

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 20: Waiting

Instead of announcing our engagement we've decided it’s safer to keep it secret until this mess blows over. For now I’ll keep Q’s ring on a chain around my neck. It’s subtle enough to remain inconspicuous. 

As Q and I make our way into the office I can’t help but shoot him a quick smile. He scrunches his face into a frown to remind me to behave and I almost burst out laughing. Unfortunately my happiness is short-ended because Nomi walks up with a concerned expression. 

“What’s the trouble?” I ask.

“Bond’s been asking about a meeting with Blofeld.”

“And Mallory said no?” Q guesses.

“I’m afraid so.”

I shake my head. “That doesn’t mean we do. Is there a way to sneak him in? Or at least one of us?”

“No need,” Moneypenny says as she approaches from M’s office. “Good news. Bond talked with M and convinced him to let us in on Heracles.”

“Wait ‘til you see what it does up close,” Q mutters to Nomi.

“There’s more news. Bond’s in the office,” Moneypenny informs us.

“What?” We all gasp.

Alright. Remember, I’m not supposed to have spoken or been in contact with Bond in any way. As far as M knows he’s been off duty and away from us. We all take a deep breath and walk through the oak doors to see Bond standing in front of M’s desk with an amused smirk.

Q’s acting does little to convince. “Bond! God! I- I haven’t seen you in- in- Um, how’s retirement?”

“Shut up Q, I know he’s staying with you,” Mallory groans at Q’s pathetic acting. “And you’re not in the clear either.” He gives me a pointed look. “Bond’s been reinstated as a 00. Now that we’re all on the same page, what have you got?”

Q shuts his mouth and goes on to set up his computer.

“And that’s why you’re not fit to lie,” I say smugly and tap his shoulder.

Nomi looks troubled but goes on to explain our research. “Q has studied examples of the victims’ samples at the funeral.”

The big screen on the wall comes to life and news images of different funerals flash across it.

“These are the family members who made direct contact with the corpse. We found traces in all their blood samples.”

“Good work,” M comments.

Nomi ignores the subject. “00 what?”

Jesus, Nomi. It’s just a number.

“What are they?” Moneypenny asks.

“They’re nanobots,” Q explains. “Microscopic biorobots that can enter your system with the slightest contact with your skin.

“Programmed with DNA to target specific individuals,” Mallory says.

“But Blofeld modified them to infect anyone related to the target. It could target individuals to whole ethnicities. You infect enough people-”

“And the people become the weapon,” Bond finishes.

Dear God. Who could even think of carrying out this idea? Turning one’s own flesh against them simply by touching someone… It raises far too many ethical questions.

“It was never meant to be a weapon of mass destruction,” M says softly. “Only as a last result. Now I must call the Prime Minister. Q, hack into Blofeld’s eye. See what you can find.”

I stride forward to where Bond’s standing. “Can I go too?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to stay behind,” M informs me. “Bond can deal with Blofeld.”

Left behind again. Sure, Bond gets all the fun and gets to interrogate while I’m stuck doing paperwork.

“Good luck,” I mutter to my old colleague.

“Nice necklace,” 007 murmurs with amusement. Before I can flash him a warning look Bond gives my hand a shake. “I’ll crack Boefeld like an egg. See you in 10.”

He walks out and I’m left to wait. No surprise that Q’s already heading back to the lab. I know tech is not my strong suit but at this point I’ll do anything to help. I head downstairs and find the screens he’s sitting in front of flashing with multiple images of blueprints, maps, and other patterns too fast to make out.

“Stuck in the basement again, I see.”

“Quiet. Trying to focus.”

I walk over and plop down into a chair next to him. “Need help?”

Q lets out an annoyed grunt. “This eye is harder to crack than I’d hoped. Got anything in mind?”

“A sledge hammer might help.”

Q tilts his head, still looking at the eye. “How is the thought of you with a sledge hammer both arousing and terrifying? Ah! Got it!”

I hear something click and then a female’s voice says: ‘Blofeld’s eyeball unlocked.’

“You look like a child on Christmas morning,” I comment on Q’s overjoyed face. “It’s adorable.”

‘Accessing files: 477, 478, 479…’

Now I’m back to waiting. I suppose there are other things I can do to be useful. “Want any tea while you work?”

“You know me so well. Yes, please.”

In no time at all I brew some Earl Gray and my own mug of hot chocolate. When I return I see on one of Q’s smaller screens that Bond’s heading towards the detention level.

“Thank you, darling,” Q says as he takes a sip of tea. “Think Bond will keep his cool when he sees Swann again?”

I huff a stale laugh. “Who can say? I’m curious to how she’ll respond. What do you say to an ex you abruptly left 5 years ago?”

The geek rolls his eyes. “You know I can’t answer that. I’m hopeless when it comes to social interaction equations.”

“And that’s why I love you.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

We wait a few minutes and the screen shows Bond and Dr. Swann stepping into Boefeld’s cell. At the last minute the blonde psychiatrist backs out and leaves Bond to make contact with the one-eyed criminal. It looks like it’s going to be his usual method. Strangle the bloke until Bond gets what information he wants. But wait- Something's wrong. Boefeld’s not moving…

“Q… What’s wrong with him?” I point to the screen.

The geek looks over from where he’s still working on the eye and freezes. He abruptly gets up and sprints out of the room. Should I follow? M said to stay here. But I can’t just- no. Someone needs to guard the eye. I must be patient. On the monitor I watch Bond exit the cell while medical staff examine Boefeld’s body. No doubt everyone will rendezvous back here since it appears to be a contamination issue. Maybe the smart blood isn’t working properly?

In a few minutes Bond and Q walk in, followed by M and Nomi.

“What happened?” I ask anxiously.

“Um… Bond was infected with the nanobots back in Cuba,” Q explains. “When he touched Boefeld they killed him.” He gestures for Bond to place his hands on a nearby machine. “I need your fingerprint. You’re lucky you aren’t related or you’d be dead too.”

“So how do I get this off?” Bond asks.

“Um, you don’t. You can’t. Nanobots aren’t just for Christmas. Once Hercules is in your system it’s in there forever.”

Jesus. This is why I keep a close eye on MI6’s medical requirements. How could M think that something so deadly and permanent could be a good thing?

“I’m so sorry, Bond-”

“No time for that, 0011,” Bond grunts and looks over at M. “Did they find her car?”

He must mean Dr. Swann. 

“They traced it but she abandoned it,” Nomi says. “Hasn’t been to her flat. Is she one of them? Do you have any idea where she might have gone?

“No. I wouldn’t know.”

Bond’s clearly lying. He knows exactly where she is, I’m sure of it. But if he wants to keep things from M I don’t blame him. Without a word he gets up and strides out of the room before M can argue. We all look at each other thinking the same thing. What now? Boefeld was one of our only leads and we have no inkling of where Dr. Swann is.

“Our best bet is to wait for the field agents to report back,” M decides and walks out.

Is he serious? There’s a biological warfare crisis going on and he wants to wait it out? 

“This is ridiculous!” I throw my arms up. “I should be out there trying to help investigate!”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Levie,” Moneypenny says. “M’s been especially protective of your assignments these past few weeks because he doesn't want you getting infected too. You’re one of our youngest 00s and he wants to keep you safe for liabilities”

“So that’s it? I’m forced to sit back and watch the world erupt into chaos because I’m a child? So that if Bond ends up dead I’ll step in?” I argue. “That’s not fair! I’m a 00 same as him or Nomi. I should be helping!”

Both her and Q exchange looks. What? What else do people say behind my back?

“You’re a brilliant agent, 0011,” Moneypenny replies softly, as though talking to a wild animal. “But Bond is right. You do have a big heart, which can get in the way. If M sends you out now your connection to Bond might distract you.”

My jaw drops. “Are you saying I’m incapable of carrying out what’s necessary? Bond was my mentor, Moneypenny. You think he wouldn’t have taught me to adapt to any worst case scenario? He specifically trained me to keep going if he dies.”

I shake my head and storm out the door towards the training room, hoping some major sprinting will calm my nerves. How can they think that? Why does everyone think that you can either be an emotional sucker or a deadpan machine? In this insane world the only thing I can rely on is the potential chance of death. That threat never dies in this job.

I’ve been running for about half an hour when I see Q walk into the room. He looks so out of place here in his spiffy suit.

“Cooled down yet?”

I come to a stop next to him and take a swig of water. “Don’t test me, Q. I’m not in the mood to talk about my fragile heart.” Which is currently pumping too fast for me to count.

“Hey,” the geek says in a slightly offended tone and presses a finger to my chest. “It’s that heart I fell in love with, darling. It’s just as you say: sometimes love is the only thing that keeps us human.”

I frown. “I’ve never said that.”

“Yes but it seems like something you’d say.”

I smile and huff at his childish joke. “Cute. Is there anything I can help with now since I’m too emotional for the field?”

Q sighs and rubs his head. “Never going to let that go, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Fair enough. Fine, you can come help me in the lab. There’s a new watch prototype I’ve been meaning to finish.”

After I quickly shower and put on a fresh set of clothes I head back to the technology wonderland. Q’s hunched over his desk peering at a snazzy-looking watch.

Beep! Beep!

Q’s phone goes off, startling both of us. He takes it out and puts it on speaker.

“Q, I’m sending you a picture of an island.” It’s Bond. “Find where it is, as well as everything you can on a man called Lyutsifer Safin. I’m going to need a plane, a big one. I’ll send you my location shortly.”

He must have found Dr. Swann. 

“The island is in disputed waters between Japan and Russia,” Q states as he does a quick search on his laptop. “It has a chemical plant dating back to World War II. Seems it’s had quite a history. When do you need the plane, Bond?”

An idea pops into my head. “Wait. Bond, where are you?”

In the background we hear a commotion before Bond speaks again. “I think my position’s been compromised. Q, I’ll need that plane quickly. Think you can get it to me?”

The geek clicks through some files and nods. “Right then, yes. We’ll be there.”

We? Since when is Q so giddy to get out in the field?

Beep! Beep!

Now my own phone goes off and I pick it up to see Nomi calling.

“0011, I’ve just received a lead from Bond. Have you heard from him?”

My idea starts spinning faster. “He’s just requested a plane but has failed to mention his location as of now.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but I think there might be a child involved.”

This pushes me to make up my mind. “I’m going after them. Nomi, I’m going with you. I’ll meet you out there in one hour.”

I hang up and sprint over to grab my bag of supplies, opening the garage door to access my motorcycle.

Q’s already trying to argue. “There’s no reason to-” 

“I will not just sit here doing bloody nothing while my best friend is out there! I’ve been useless for 5 years, might as well give those goons a good punch now.”

I feel Q walk up behind me and grab my shoulders, turning me to face him. In his face I see something that is completely new to me: fear. Q is afraid.

“I’ll be back,” I say soothingly. “I promise.”

He shakes his head, tears wanting to form in his eyes. “What if you get knocked out again? What if this time you never wake up?”

I do admit the risk of dying is much more frightening now that Q and I are officially an item. It’s this kind of situation that Bond warned me about. But I know Q’s in this with me. I’m not alone. And right now I need to put my own needs aside to serve my country.

“I can make a difference. If I don’t help, who will? I’ve been trained for this my whole life.” I grab Q’s tie and lean up to press a deep kiss to his chapped lips. He must have been biting them because of nerves. It’s little traits like that make him special. Someone worth fighting for. I’m not only fighting for my country, but for Q. And for the safety of everyone around the world.

“This is the way it is, Q. I’ve got a job to finish.”

[soupthatistohot]

The absurdist misconception

The philosophy of the absurd as many people understand it is fundamentally incorrect, and for the majority of the time I’ve been making analysis posts, I, too was operating under this incorrect framework. So, I just wanted to make a quick post to clear up the misconception so we’re all on the same page!

I would like to first note that I came to this realization primarily via this TikTok video, so consider checking that out!

My mistake, like most, is assuming that absurdism strives to make meaning, when it does not. The idea that one can make meaning in a seemingly absurd reality actually is a notion of existentialism— which is, while close cousins with absurdism, not the same.

Absurdism is the idea that reality is absurd, and that the quest to find or create meaning is futile. Only in rebelling against absurdity by continuing to live regardless of meaninglessness does one truly live the life of the absurdist and free themselves.

Still important to note are absurdism’s criticisms: suicide and giving in. The philosophy of the absurd does not believes suicide to be a viable solution to facing the absurd, as it is simply “giving up” — allowing oneself to become so disillusioned that either 1) one believes killing themself to be akin to rebellion or 2) one becomes so disillusioned that they no longer want to live. Absurdism regards continuing to live life regardless of the circumstances to be a form of revolt, so suicide is not the way to go.

The other criticism is becoming part of the system, or “giving in.” This comes in the form of simply going along with things despite their absurdity rather than putting up some sort of fight. Continuing to live doesn’t mean simply existing, it means actually living life, fighting against oppression, etc. There might not be intrinsic meaning in life, but at the same time one waste their life in passivity. There is value in the act of revolt.

Giving into absurdity can also look like searching for meaning. While this effort might be made in good faith, only suffering can be achieved in a quest to find meaning in a meaningless world. It is more worth one’s time to live life to the fullest and try to leave some sort of mark.

Some of this is my own interpretation, primarily the discussion around the value in doing something. I don’t know how to explain it, but to me, absurdism is just as much about meaninglessness as it is about activism. One needs to live beyond the literal definition of living, if that makes sense. You can’t just be an apathetic zombie, that’s really not that much different than killing yourself — it’s suicide of the soul.

These are my thoughts and my understanding of the philosophy of the absurd. Please, if you have anything to add or correct, feel free to do so! This is an ongoing discussion, and it is because of this dialogue that I was able to realize my previous misunderstanding.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Are you gonna talk about how Marlene is named after Margo Lane and Steven is bascially Lamont Cranstron Margo's boyfriend from the Shadow and Moench said as much

Because the shadow was on when Marc was a kid in volume #1 going by him being in his 30s and Elias leaving Europe in 1939 so like is Steven a Lamont Cranstron introject in the comics?

My friend, you just hit on a long time love of mine. 

Marlene Alraune. I've long had mixed feelings about the original flame of the Moon Knight system. 

She's absolutely a badass who could always take care of herself in a time when the women in comics were often just there to be eye-candy and rescued. 

Heck, half the time Marlene did the rescuing. The number of times she saved Moon Knight is quite high. 

But she also fell in love with an idea of who she wanted 'Marc' to be. When he didn't fit that idea, she could often be quite cruel and abelistic. 

Sometimes she was good for them, trying to get them to face their problems and let go of the past.... But usually she was the one pushing them to 'snap out of' their mental health issues and be Steven while forgetting the other two. 

Now, I don't know if she's based on Margot Lane. But it is easy to see that she is meant to be Moon Knight's version of Margo Lane. 

(I would love to see your source of Moench saying such! I'm always curious to see what the OG has to say about his MK starts). 

For those out of the loop: 

Margo Lane is from "The Shadow" (one of my favorites!!!). A comic created in 1931 and turned into a very popular radio play in 1937 (officially it was tested in the waters as early as 1930 before he was hashed out into a literary sense in 31 and then revived again in 37 as his own familiar self). 

It was later made into least one (Okay) movie with Alec Baldwin in 1994. 

Margo was created originally for the radio drama as a companion when they realized they had far too many men in the line up and it would become difficult to distinguish the voices. But MAN was she a heavy hitter! 

She was incredibly intelligent, fearless, and didn't put up with his shit. 

Orson Welles was the voice of the Shadow and his alter ego Lamont Cranston. Let me tell you... Once you've heard Orson deliver the line: "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!" You ain’t ever going back. 

You can still find the radio plays on most podcast services. 

Margot Lane fresh out of the 1930s! 

Now, I can 100% see the comparison between Marlene and Margot. At the start.

Complicated love interest of a character with alter egos and a complex social standing and questionable mental health at times. (I could go on and on about Lamont but I won't). 

Marlene was originally a damsel in distress that evolved into a badass independent woman. Margot was originally a fast talking quick witted woman who on occasion needed rescuing. 

As for their personalities? I’d say they are quite different. Perhaps Marlene started out as an idea to give Moon Knight an interesting companion. In fairness, imagining early MK without Marlene is actually a bit dull. You NEED to have that inner circle that knows his past and has an interest in helping him. As for Margot, she isn’t fleshed out well in the early radio show and she wasn’t in the original comic/story until after the radioshow. She was just a voice with witty remarks and smart observation that paired very well with Orson Wells. 

Now, you mentioned Steven as basically a fictive of Lamont Cranston. 

The timeline can line up for the original run. We already know little Marc liked to play with super hero toys and enjoyed an escape in fictional stories (Mostly from Lemire's run as we never see little Marc in the OG run outside of Zelenetz' 2 part exploration of the past in like, one page). It is possible he listened to The Shadow on the radio.

In the MCU, Steven is canonically a fictive. In the comics, we don't know the story of how and when Jake and Steven first came about. 

Let's look at Lamont Cranston's character. 

Lamont is a wealthy man-about-town. A carefree playboy that travels the world to 'learn the old mysteries that modern science has not yet rediscovered'. Once he is finished traveling and learning his special abilities, he returns to New York. (The radio show and the print stories are vastly different at this point). 

Now, Lamont is not really given a lot of 'radio time' in the old broadcasts. He's just a rich fellow with a nice girl on his arm. He's given more of a personality much much later in different installments of the Shadow. 

And while Steven Grant is originally SUPPOSED to be the main alter from issue #1, he quickly falls out of favor and the comic shifts to Jake Lockley as being the main face with Steven being the one to hold down the home life and the cash flow. 

As for Moench saying it was an inspiration? I don't know. I'd have to see the interview. But back in the late 70s and early 80s, the usual alter ego of superheroes tended to be rich, casual, playboys. 

Which brings me to the big kicker. Bob Kane and Bill Finger, creators of Batman, have explicitly said they based Batman off of pulp mystery characters like The Shadow. In fact, his first comic was a direct takeoff of a Shadow story! 

You can see the homage to this in The Batman Animated Adventures with "The Gray Ghost" that was voiced by Adam West (two homages in one people! I love it). 

And we all know that Moon Knight is constantly being compared to Batman (it's the cape. It has to be the cape). 

Batman was started in 1939. 

SO. One might just as easily argue that little Marc Spector loved to read comics and maybe picked up a Batman comic or two. So as much as Lamont could be where Steven got started, so too could Bruce Wayne. 

Let that one sit with you for a minute. 

I mean, if we're going down the rabbit hole of modern comics ripping on old radio broadcasts... Who's to say Kato from the Green Hornet isn't the inspiration for Robin? Or that he isn't the inspiration for Frenchie? A side kick that knows how to fight and works on cars and drives them around? Sounds like Frenchie to me. Heck, the Green Hornet and Kato even have a cameo in the Adam West Batman show with the building climbing bit they used to do.

All comics come from somewhere and over time, all comics will eventually resemble another as inspiration is sort of the name of the game.

I don't think that Steven Grant in the comics was a fictive. Especially if you go off Lemire's run as the real cannon event and we see a young Steven Grant making friends with a young Marc. I think at that point, Steven presented as the perfect Jewish Son that a Rabbi was supposed to have that Marc couldn't be. It is possible he had traits as an introject (adoption of traits and personalities of others), but it is truly hard to say from where he got the information.

But it is interesting to think of them listening to the old radio shows and drawing ideas from them on becoming the hero that is Moon Knight. After all, the Shadow wasn't exactly known for being merciful and his villains did tend to.... not survive.

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1153 review

Our flashback is chugging a long at a fairly pleasing pace. Harald's story plays out fast enough that we didn't have to wait long for the real key figures of Hajrudin and Loki to turn up. The same can maybe not be said for Yamato's cover story, which now feels like it's running down a checklist past the point of its actual plot being resolved, but whatever.

I really enjoy how expressive Harald is in the early pages of the chapter. That Kaido-like portrait we first see him in would never have had me guessing he could look like that after taking a slap in the face. And man, casually destroying a shark with flicked snot in the second page is such a funny detail. Some real Mr 5 moves. Wait, could the secret Devil Fruit of Elbaph really be…?

And speaking of faces, Ida has a pleasantly unique one in a series full of Nami and Robin clones. And I like how her budding romance with Harald plays on the themes of cultural exchange and connectivity that have been building in the series. Vegapunk spoke of how limiting isolation is to people who can't find the means to travel between island nations in this flooded world the Government has created, and we see that proved as the giants are enriched by the engineering, spices and fabrics of the humans. The messages about not being superior just because you're born bigger, and the obviously genuine anthropological fascination Harald develops over different cultures as he gets to know Ida resonate with these ideas. We also, a little later on, get the suggestion that celestial navigation is not widespread knowledge in this world, closing up a logical hole in the log pose system that's existed from the start. Wonder if that's information the World Government discourages researching.

Few quick lore notes from this bit - Harald swims to collect a shark for the native population of that one island. While the initial exposition about Harald and Loki and the legendary Devil Fruit implied that Harald had the power and Loki killed him to take it, I'm becoming increasingly sure Harald never ate it, as if the panel of the treasure chest last week wasn't proof enough. Second, the blood-soaked serpent being confirmed as the Red Line. Ain't that curious, after Dory and Broggy's mention of the serpent on Little Garden and then the big snake in the Harley mural. If I wanted to theorise boldly I might even mention the ancient Shandians' worship of their local giant snakes as another possible connection. And finally, Ida's South Blue origin. It's curious how many giant colonies there actually are relative to how legendary they're made out to be in the story. Saul was also a South Blue native. Sanjuan Wolf and Morley are from West Blue. Oars allegedly from the North. They're on all seas except East Blue and the first half of the Grand Line. And yet when anyone talks giants, and when the World Government needs giant soldiers for military power, it always comes back to Elbaph. Definitely something special about these giants on this island, and I have to wonder if it's the Ancient Giant genetics they've managed to preserve in such relatively high numbers.

But Harald brings Ida back to Elbaph to collide with the politics of the untraveled leaders of his homeland. Hard to argue against tradition with people who've never opened themselves up to seeing things another way. I would have liked to see more of Harald feeling conflicted over being forbidden to marry Ida and forced to wed Estrid. And how the relationship plays out after this happens. We're not given much of an indication of how much, if at all, Harald was able to see Ida and Hajrudin after this, save for Ida thinking Haj would get the chance to meet his half brother. Did Harald and Ida remain lovers, or did the politics of it, or just jealousy from one side or another, force them to call it quits? My first impression of Harald was of the hind of free-spirited royal who would tell his advisors to shove it and do what he wants in scenarios like this, so why not show how the chiefs threatened him or pressured him into submitting? Or had he always been sailing and harassing other nations to get away from the restrictions and pressure of being king?

Estrid puts forward such a pettily hateable persona as she makes herself at home in the palace. This isn't necessarily a Spandam or Orochi kind of vileness (up until the attempted baby murder) but the insistent and self-serving faux-mysticism lands a lot closer to a kind of person you might actually encounter in real life. Of course geomancy means all the things she wants go closest to her. Of course she makes up (at least that's how I'm interpreting it) a prophecy that justifies the removal of someone she was already uncomfortable with. Add to the fact that she's exactly the kind of generic Nami-clone princess I was glad Ida wasn't, and it's not looking good for Estrid.

I like her horse though. That thing's crazy with the legs and the flaming mane and tail. Imagine how small a normal human would be next to that monster. Too bad it's doomed to die of Loki's "curse" in the near future.

Of all the reasons for Loki to wear the blindfold, I'm not sure I would have guessed that his eyes were simply weird in a way that provoked superstition. From his reputation, you might think he wouldn't care about the discomfort his features cause others, that's their problem, not his, but like Harald's marriage, the apparently free-spirited and unstoppable warrior is bound by culture, tradition and expectations. I wonder if this is going to be a theme. And has a more educated, modern Elbaph moved away from these kinds of issues? Maybe Loki missed the forest for the trees, getting caught up on losing the right to rampage and pillage and missing that he could have gained the right to walk around barefaced in exchange.

Loki's return from the Underworld is a crazy note to end this one on. It's such a classic One Piece tall tale kind of development. And the dead bear as well? God damn, this kid was something else.

What I'm really curious about after this chapter is what's happened to both Ida and Estrid by the present day. They don't see to have been counted among the victims of the massacre of the castle, and I don't recall any other kind of death for them coming up. I've been big on Jarul as Loki's Shaggy friend, but Ida would make for a really interesting dynamic. Well, we have their fates, alive or dead, to discover, the start of Harald's relationship with the World Government, which may be the focus of the next chapter, and then the main event after that.

I think there's a chance the flashback could wrap inside of volume 113 if the book runs long to 12 chapters (that's three more), but I'm not counting on it, and I'd rather Oda take the time to properly flesh everything out here anyway.

[epithet-beloved]

GIOVANNI + READER WITH A BFRB

synopsis… Giovanni helps a you cope with your bfrb

ft. Giovanni Potage, the Boys(™)

tags… epithet erased, Giovanni is the CEO of mental health, supportive Giovanni, reader is one of Giovanni’s minions, reader has a bfrb, boy and dude used as gender neutral terms, can be read as romantic or platonic

word count… 611

a/n… This is literally just for me. I am the target audience. And for those not in the know, a BFRB is what’s known as a “body focused repetitive behavior”, such as skin picking or hair pulling. As someone who has one myself, I pretty much never see them represented in fandom content, so I decided to do it meself!! Enjoy!!! ✧ 🦄

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 We all know that Giovanni is a mental health KING.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So of course he is very considerate of any needs you may have!! Minions need proper love and care after all!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Gio is never afraid to admit when he doesn’t know something. In fact, he enjoys asking you about your wants and needs, and always listens fervently. What you want, what you don’t want….he takes it all into account when trying to help you out.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He even does research online! He has tons of pages bookmarked. Articles by psychiatrists, blog posts and videos by other people with similar experiences, he’s got it all!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you allow it, he’d hold your hands to help you avoid picking or pulling. He never directly points out the behavior in case it makes you feel embarrassed, just asks if you wanna hold hands.

“Hey, wanna hold hands real quick? Boss’s orders!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also carries around fidget toys in case you need them. Honestly, you have no idea where he keeps them. He just seems to have an endless supply.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you’re mindlessly picking or pulling, you are randomly handed a slow rising squishy shaped like a penguin while Giovanni is shooting you a goofy grin.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He also makes it a rule among the other minions not to treat you any differently because of your behavior, and to follow your boundaries. They all made a little list together of things to do to help you and also what not to do.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 The Boys(™) are your support system, essentially. If you tend to engage in the behavior when spaced out, they’ll make sure to engage you in conversation and activities to keep you present. If it’s a nervous habit, they take notice of when you’re not doing so well and help remove you from the stressor.

“Everyone feeling okay?” Spike didn’t want to single you out, so she instead phrased it like she was checking on everyone.

Crusher, noticing your demeanor, would quickly pipe up. “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” he said, straight faced and stiff as a board. “Can we take a break somewhere?”

“Why certainly, Crusher! Thanks for speaking up!” You breathed a sigh of relief as you and the group moved to find somewhere quiet.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Giovanni would happily do skincare with you if it helps you feel better! Spa days with the boys where you wear face masks and paint each others’ nails are a staple. Nothing better than chilling with the boys and watching bad movies while your nails dry.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Insecurities? Prepare to kiss them goodbye. Giovanni is also a self confidence king, and is always there to hype you up. Scars, marks, acne, anything you may be insecure about, he assures you that it doesn’t diminish your worth even a bit! You don’t need to cover anything up to be beautiful, because you are a gorgeous boy (gender neutral) with nothing to be ashamed of!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you like makeup, he’s great at doing yours in a way that flatters all your features. If you want cover up or stuff like that for marks or acne, he’ll let you put it on, but he never makes you feel like it’s necessary. He helps you do makeup in ways that enhance the beauty that already exists instead of hiding perceived imperfections.

“Dude, I just found this chart of how to do eyeliner based on your eye shape! Isn’t that so metal? I wanna try it on you!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Tender moments where he traces any scars or marks, playing a little game of connect the dots. Even if you don’t always feel the best about yourself, he loves your skin and he loves you.

[homestuckreplay]

It should be noted he was kind of a weird guy anyway.

(page 510-519)

8/20/2009 Wheel Spin: Sburb Lore Verdict: Literally The Sburb Lore Handbook :D

8/21/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: Dave WISHES John Would Pester Him Back

^ I have SO much love for this sequence on p.514-517, where John is unresponsive due to being controlled by the Wayward Vagabond, but the environment around him keeps changing due to Rose’s powers. It definitely enhances the reading experience to first do a full read of the pages, and then to just flick through and look at the images in sequence – it really highlights the visual gags and parallels like the one here.

We get out fourth GameFAQs entry on p.510, following our fourth ‘Years in the future…’ and it looks like a small page, but actually has fifteen images all accompanied with Rose’s commentary. She basically puts a bunch of images of John, along with his full name and his dead/resurrected grandmother, on the internet without their permission, which is questionable, but her insights definitely leave me with a lot to think about.

The house remaining powered by electricity and internet (images: ‘power,’ ‘internet’) makes complete sense to me. They’re inside the Medium, the medium of Sburb being ‘online multiplayer video game,’ and that medium requiring both electricity to power gaming devices, and internet to maintain a connection with the co-player, to operate. It’s not a kindness that the game gives to players, it’s literally necessary for the game to run, as we’ve already seen a few times with Rose.

That fact only makes Rose’s called shot about hackers (‘internet’) even more threatening. Disrupting the internet connection could disrupt the apparatus of the entire game, cutting Rose and John off from one another more permanently and potentially stopping Dave or the fourth player from joining the game. Sburb as a game is already dangerous enough, so navigating that and the outside threat of hackers at the same time could make for an intense, fast paced story and be a great direction for the comic.

And with these Wayward Vagabond/GameFAQs pages always kept together, it raises the question: is the Vagabond a hacker? A hacker in the popular definition is somebody who gains unauthorized access to computer systems – to gain information, to spread a virus, or perhaps to influence the outcome of a game. Found covered by sand in the middle of a dormant wasteland, this bunker, and its accompanying computer system, doesn’t look like somewhere the Vagabond is supposed to be. They’ve already put John in danger by taking away his mental faculties and making him susceptible to imp attacks. If they can sever John’s connection with Rose while still controlling him, he’ll be in a lot of danger. And while the Vagabond seems silly for now in their quest for a can opener and their trial-and-error commands on p.253, they’re clearly a quick learner, having picked up the standards of human etiquette reasonably well very quickly. It’s not out of the question that they could be learning to hack the game – and could perhaps be a villain of the story.

Rose’s other big called shot is that she can’t see John’s dad’s room because John has never been in there (‘hmm’). I buy this theory – the only other explanation I can think of is that the room needs to be ‘unlocked’ in game and won’t be accessible to either player until John reaches a high enough level, perhaps because it contains clues to Dad’s whereabouts. That’s the less sinister explanation. Rose’s idea is more sinister, because it again reinforces how Sburb isn’t just connected to/able to see John’s physical location, it’s able to see inside his mind and respond to that. I genuinely think that with a different tone and art style, this could easily be a horror story.

Rose quotes Nikolai Gogol’s Dead Souls (‘steeds’) to describe John’s pogo antics, which despite its goth title, is not a horror novel but is instead about a man trying to commit tax fraud. It’s a famous 19th century Russian novel that was left unfinished when Gogol burned a large part of his own manuscript, but remains famous and widely regarded as a work of satire. I’m fifty fifty on whether Rose googled ‘quotes about horses’ and picked the smartest sounding one to caption her screencap of her friend spraying shaving cream while bopping an imp on the head, or if a ten year old Rose used to curl up on that giant living room couch and read Russian literature while listening to the waterfall flowing below. Both options are very funny to me. I am almost buying into Rose’s mysterious persona. (And then she puts a crumpled hat on John’s head and I remember that she is also a big dork).

I have been mean to Rose at times but she is really carrying the team right now, and doing an incredible job multitasking killing imps with furniture, building onto John’s house, and updating her walkthrough for other players. I totally buy that she’s someone who just throws herself into what she’s doing to distract herself from the looming meteor threat. But I think she should do some research into building safety codes, because I’m not sure those ladders and platforms held up by chimneys are going to be stable long term, or safe for John to start climbing. I guess Rose was warned about stairs but nobody got around to warning her about ladders.

[pixsistixs]

In a month, Good and Kind will be a year old, and I am so grateful for that little story.

A year ago, I hadn't written in nearly 10 years, not since my mom passed away. I had just discovered Hazbin and was obsessed with reading fanfiction centered around Alastor and Angel Dust, but it wasn't what I wanted to read. I wanted to read about Niffty.

There she was, this incredible little choas gremlin, and something about her stuck out to me. I immediately felt this draw to her, this connection with her on a personal level despite honestly having very little to go off of. I struggled to find any really meaningful stories about her that didn't infantilize this fun little person or focus too much on her crazy. I wanted so much more for her.

In my head she was smart as fuck, witty, funny and most importantly loving and loyal. I never clicked with the way her relationship with Alastor was frequently portrayed as being some kind of father/daughter thing. She was a grown ass woman, with grown ass woman feelings. She never needed Alastor, but she wanted him. She wanted to be around him. She wasn't forced to by some contract for her soul or because she was afraid of him. He took care of her yes, but not because she needed him to.

After struggling to find fics with this dynamic, it occurred to me that if I wanted to read it, I'd have to write it.

The idea plagued me for a month. It wouldn't leave my head. Finally, I sat down and pulled up Google Docs on my phone. I stared at the page for 2 solid hours, frozen and terrified. It had been 10 years since I picked up my pen, a massive depression born of the loss of my best friend, my uncle, and my mom in quick succession keeping me from doing something that brought me the most joy. I hadn't published my own work in even longer, not since I'd been writing Mortal Instruments fanfiction that I'd posted on my old tumblr profile, and I hadn't posted fanfiction to a website dedicated to it since I'd been deep in the deapths of the Harry Potter fandom as a teenager. The idea of writing something and then publishing it for other people to read was terrifying.

I wish I could say I wrote something that day. I didn't. I put google docs away and tried not to think about it. This cycle went on for a week, until finally I convinced myself I could just write a quick oneshot to get it out of my system. I didn't even need to publish it, just get the shit out and move on with my life.

Finally, after 10 years, I picked up my digital pen and just wrote. I let it spill from my soul, and something in me sparked, relighting a fire long since burned down to embers. I wrote the first thing that came to mind, a scene where Niffty transformed into this beautiful, dangerous being and beat the ever living fuck out of a man who had tormented and tortured her in life, all while Alastor looked on at her like she was the most brilliant and amazing thing he'd ever seen. It exhausted me, but I felt elation when it was finally done.

I remembered then just how damn much I love to write.

So I opened a new document and told their story. I wrote like a woman possessed. I affectionately called it my love letter to Niffty, and that's honestly what it was. I'd sit on the first 3 chapters for three weeks before I finally published it. 3 weeks of agonizing over it and wondering if I was good enough, wondering if anyone would really want to read it. Finally, after talking about it non-stop for days with my husband and my best friends, I decided to take the leap and hit publish. Within 20 minutes of posting it I got my first kudos and I knew right then I would have to keep writing because that one little Kudos left by a guest meant that there was at least one other person on the planet who wanted to read what I did.

Since then, I have published 316,967 words and counting for that little love story. It's on its third installment and has evolved into so much more than I ever expected. What started as this little story about friend love has turned into something so much bigger, touching on so many areas I didn't realize I needed to explore. It's been therapeutic in a way I didn't realize I needed. I have poured so much of myself into these characters, and every time I write a Niffty centered chapter, it feels like talking to an old friend.

I still go back and reread that first love letter every few weeks, and it's still the story I want to read, even with all its flaws.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you, Niffty. Thank you for being this intriguing little creature who spoke so loudly to me that I couldn't ignore you. Thank you for forcing me to pick up my pen again. I am in a very different place mentally than I was a year ago, and I'd be a liar if I said you weren't a huge part of it. I'll keep telling your story until you tell me it's done.

Keep being you Niffty Dearest, because you are so incredibly special to me.

[coffeencream]

REVIEW: Babel by RF Kuang

A quick disclaimer before we start- this book impacted me very heavily, and because of those strong emotions I think I have to include some spoilers in this review to process what I felt in the book’s heaviest moments. You’ve been warned!

Robin Swift was taken from his homeland to become a scholar. Thanks to his powerful and mysterious guardian Richard Lovell, an 18 year old Robin becomes one of four new undergraduate students at the Royal Translation Institute, aka Babel. He meets his cohort- dazzling Ramiz Mirza, fierce Victoire Desgraves, and posh Letty Price. From there, an unbelievable, years-spanning epic of magic, academia, love and betrayal.

I’ll start by saying that I absolutely loved the magic system in Babel, because it’s so simple- words are power, just like they are in the real world. I think this works beautifully to illustrate Kuang’s main arguments about colonialism in the book, because it literalizes the way that empire depends heavily on those they exploit, even while proclaiming their colonies less than. I really appreciated the care that was taken to explore multiple schools of thought regarding the best way to fight oppression. None were explicitly “wrong” because both theories- Victoire and Anthony’s nonviolence and Griffin and Robin’s violence- were more than justified in the context of the book. Obviously, this mirrors real life. As someone who talks politics in leftist circles, I hear both ideas come up. Do we disobey quietly, lobby our politicians, and wait for slow incremental change? Or do we fight, scream, burn, demand to be seen as human? There’s no right answer, but I think the fictional environment of Babel is a good outlet to explore these questions, and Kaung does it expertly.

Ok, now that my academic, poli-sci major baggage has been laid out, I’m gonna get a bit sappy. This book WRECKED me. I cried. So. Much. In the style of a Shakespearean tragedy, just about every single character that you fall in love with through the first three hundred pages of this book will be taken away from you. (Spoiler time!) I want to write about Ramy’s death specifically. Just as Robin and Letty fall in love with him at the first hello, so did I. Ramy was a character that simply shone so brightly that it reached far off the page. Kind, passionate, brilliant. OF COURSE two of the three people around him were madly in love. Letty’s betrayal (especially Shakespearean) and her goddamn revolver took Ramy from us, and in the midst of my reading I felt like the world was ending. Even worse, the most emotional moments come dozens of pages later. Robin and Ramy clearly loved each other. It was perhaps unrealistic to believe that they could have a happily ever after in 1840, but I thought at least they would get to be honest with each other about how they felt. Instead, Robin is left alone to grieve, to wonder how Letty, who “loved him almost as Robin loved him”, could take away the person who defined his world. Kuang invokes Ramy’s name almost like prayer. Robin turns to it in his time of most need. It hurts, like, reaaaallly hurts. I’ll think of them every time i see a sunset now.

Last thoughts. This book is nothing if not a five star read. It’s somehow a love story, a dark academia fantasy, a Newsies-style tale of the underdog, and more. It’s a found family that could never last. I can safely say that it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read, despite how much pain it caused me. There’s so much more I could’ve said, but I’ll leave it here.

READ THIS BOOK!!

[somedaynotsoon]

Super-Small Stardust Saga, Prologue

Hey there! You're reading an archived, imperfect version of a post originally from my Cohost!! Rest in peace to the best website. This version of the story will be missing some essential formatting aspects. Otherwise, I'll do my best to archive everything textwise and image-wise. Anyway, the text originally read:

~~~

I'm hosting chapters on this second page so as to avoid clogging up my main page with chapters AND allow folks to follow specifically the CYOA if they're so inclined!

This will be a unique Interactive fiction project in my micro-oriented sci-fi kink setting, the Punyverse! I'm going to be hosting it here on Cohost, and taking advantage of css and Cohost's unique page layout in order to try and create something that I couldn't really fit on other sites like Twitter or Tumblr or what have you.

Most importantly, while I'm certainly planning to be writing most of it myself, I'm going to leave "unwritten" paths and branches down the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure path as "open" slots, so that collaborators can contribute in a way similar to Writing.com Interactives (though obviously with a stronger grip on quality control than WDC!) I encourage folks to reach out and DM me in the future if you're interested. You can reach me on Twitter, Discord, and Tumblr.

Before we start, be aware that while this prologue is tame, future chapters can and will contain kink/fetish content, including but not limited to macro/micro, nano/giga, furry, anthro, non-anthro (quadrupedal, serpentine, etc), genitals/sexual content, situations of ambiguous consent, feet/paws, butt, vore, dom/sub, humiliation, boobs, peril/destruction, and more.

As with all stories of mine involving non-human characters, all parties pass the Harkness test, being of human-level intelligence, 18+ or equivalent sexual & mental maturity for their species, and involving themselves of their own free will.

This first part is simple scene-setting. As always, if you notice a formatting error, typo, or other problem, please let me know!

Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Year 2212. Also known as Collective Calendar 3-42-15-8999.

With the Earth giving out in terms of resources, humanity decided to leave its nest into the wider universe. That’s the simple version of that bit of history. The fleet, carrying just over 9 billion people, made quick tracks out of the solar system. Once past the Kuiper Belt, the ESS Bifrost activated the wormhole gate, and humanity entered, to be taken faster than light to the next place they would call home.

In retrospect, they could probably have remained on Earth a few more decades to test wormholes with some extra rigor.

Humanity emerged on the opposite side of their galactic neighborhood with no viable route back, no idea where they were, and, of course, lest any of us forget: pulled through a pocket of spatial compression that effectively reduced the size of their entire fleet and everyone in it to 1/12000th scale. Humans that were once 5 foot 11 inches were now 5 thou and 11 subthou tall, .15mm tall. Paltry. Microscopic. Blissfully Ignorant of just how small and in need they all now were. The fleet would rapidly have depleted all of its power and resources in no time at all, had it not immediately been intercepted by the Interstellar Collective.

Integration was tough those first few years.1 But eventually, humanity was able to carve out some small – very small – niche within the pangalactic community. And despite all the new difficulties of this new frontier, at this new size, humanity climbs ever further.

That’s where You come in. You’ve spent the last several years achieving the credentials necessary to become a ship captain. It wasn’t easy – especially making boot camp at the size of a fleck. Even getting approval to pursue a spot aboard Academy Station took a few favors. But today, at last, is the day you graduate and become one of only four or six-ish human captains of a multi-member vessel to exist!

Your itinerary for today is quite simple. First, you need to meet with Academy Station’s Director, to complete the final steps of ceremony and receive your badge (very important!). Second, a Lieutenant-Captain whose name eludes you (temporarily!) wanted to meet to requisition your leadership aboard a cruiser. Third, you would then have to go down to the Large Vessels Lot and introduce yourself to the crew and vessel, and then presumably tomorrow morning you would leave on that vessel for a grand adventure through the galaxy.

You look over your graduation documentation once more to verify that everything is in order. At the top is your basic personal information. It reads…

Option 1: Fem Captain At the top, in neat print, the document reads:

Name: Justine Sieva Skylor Species: Human (Sellan) Dimorphism: Female DOB: 3-38-04-9001. (1/29/2217) Mass: 0.2 micrograms* (See Addendum) Height: .144mm* (See Addendum)

Followed by copies of that same information in a few other formats. Near the bottom of the page are a few addendums and notes explaining the conditions of humanity's size issues.

Since this information is accurate, you decide to head off to go visit the Director and get yourself recognized! Yup, this is me! {To Prologue Part 2.}

At the top, in neat print, the document reads:

Name: Septem Vel Septendecim Lis (Preferred Name: Sep) Species: Viable Hybrid (Human / Soldrakanoid) Dimorphism: Male DOB: 3-38-04-9001. (1/29/2217) Mass: 0.24 micrograms* (See Addendum) Height: .150mm* (See Addendum)

Followed by copies of that same information in a few other formats. Near the bottom of the page are a few addendums and notes explaining the conditions of humanity's size issues.

...Yup, looks correct, you think. You decide to head off to go visit the Director and get yourself your badge.

{Note: This chapter wasn't written/complete yet at time of Cohost's shutdown}

Footnotes

Joining the Collective was easy enough – their extraterrestrial neighbors were more than happy to offer humans shelter and assistance. A lot more than happy, to put it gently. Aliens meeting each other in groups tend to experience a wave of social and emotional euphoria – that is to say, aliens naturally develop crushes on other species at first sight. And humanity, as the smallest species in space and the newest member of the Collective, was quite a hot topic for months. Many, many species met humanity during that initial acclimation to the cosmic lifestyle – and almost as many saw humanity as playmates, toys, objects of affection, pets... and so on. To this day, the wormhole research project that is the primary lead on possibly fixing humanity’s size drags at a snail’s pace due to just how much the other species assisting the project ‘love’ their human coworkers. To say nothing of the Collective’s nickname for humanity – the Sellans – or the numerous “research projects” with massive embarrassment for mankind as primary consequence. Many new prospective city-type colonies have been relocated to humiliating circumstances in the care of relative giants.