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hakirachan · 1 year ago

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Hey guys. Hakira here. Just a rant below the cut, read if you want. Or don’t. I don’t care.

I usually don’t vent on this blog. It’s mostly full of crack, shits and giggles, which is why you probably weren’t expecting this kind of post. But I just need to explain something in case I suddenly stop posting one day. (I know you guys probably don’t care; in fact, most of y’all probs won’t see this, but I needed to post this anyways. Sorry.) It’s kinda depressing so feel free to keep scrolling now that you know that.

So, I’m at a really shitty point in my life. It feels like everyone’s against me, like I’ve got almost nobody supporting me, and I feel like I’m hated by everyone I’ve ever looked up to. I know, sooo original. Well, it’s deeper than that.

I’m still living with my parents (somehow), but it’s always been pretty toxic ever since I was a kid. As the youngest, I can guarantee that the “youngest sibling is the favorite child, oldest gets all the work” stereotype is complete bullshit. I was told to do some things that kids that age shouldn’t have had to do. At just 6-7 years old, I was forced to take heavy bags & boxes (and I mean 40-50 pounds each) of my dad’s old shit down to the curb and wait there until they got picked up by his friend (“to make sure it didn’t get blown away” or something like that) in the middle of a fucking snowstorm, with temps below -10 degrees Fahrenheit [around -23 degrees Celsius]. Almost lost my fingers from that. They made me set out & pack up most things for a family campout on my own when I wasn’t even staying at the campsite; I was staying home with a mean, nicotine-addicted (took out a cigarette the moment my parents pulled out of the driveway; refused to stop smoking even though the smoke was making my 8-year-old body nauseous) babysitter because I had a B- in one of my classes. I know this doesn’t sound that bad, but the problem is that I wasn’t even 10 when these things were happening. It’s not really anything too serious, but I was still basically ripped out of my childhood way too early. But, enough about my childhood; now my present life. I’ve relied on my friends for comfort for most of my life because of my dysfunctional home. Recently, though, my friends have become more distant and toxic. Spreading rumors, talking shit, leaving me out, and pulling pranks that go too far (like ruining the outfit I worked so hard to make the day before my band concert). I’ve only got three friends I trust; however, 2 of them I hardly talk to anymore (not because anything happened, we’ve just got different things going on in our lives). So, there’s only one real friend who’s always stuck with me. However, there’s nothing he can do about my family at home. As I said earlier, my family’s always been toxic and dysfunctional. It should have gotten better over the years, but no. It’s gotten worse. They’ve cussed me out, threatened me, and recently, I’ve even been a victim to some domestic violence. I talked to the cops about it, and to a lady from the state who deals with these kinds of things. However, since there were no visible marks and no proof of it, they couldn’t log it as abuse because they can’t just go off of what is said; they need some hard evidence to actually do anything. So, since I don’t have the money to move out of my parent’s house, I had to watch my only hope at escaping this mental and verbal (and now some physical) abuse quite literally walk out the door. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges for the longest time. And, I’m ashamed to admit it because I’ve talked so many people out of it irl, but recently I have been self-harming. Thing is, while I had helped so many other people, nobody ever helped me through these dark times in my life. In fact, some people (who I helped through their trauma) literally told me to self-harm and to just kill myself when I tried venting to them. I just can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I can’t see the “bright side” anymore. There is no more “bright side” for me. I’m on the edge right now, literally. But I’ve got you guys to thank for getting me this far. Thank you so much for being here for me, even though I don’t usually vent, and you guys didn’t know what I’ve been going through up until now, so you weren’t actively trying to support me. Even so, thanks for appreciating me and not treating me like I’m more worthless than a dead plant. I love you all, and I hope you guys have great lives. So, if I change my mind, then I’ll see you guys later. If not…well, don’t mourn me, I’ll be in a better place. So long, guys. also im gonna give this a few days in case things get better (though let’s be honest, they’re probably not gonna) so don’t miss me just yet. If I’m gone for like, over a week, then you can assume I finally freed myself from this hell

shoutout to my mutuals, you guys are awesome and were great help to me (im not gonna pin you so you don’t feel obliged to read/reply to my dumb rant): dumb-mc-sheep cldhart08 acronym49 cricketproofreads im-an-angy-alpaca trash-opposum

And special shoutouts to my two fav mutuals (sorry other moots) @family-disappointment and @avatarofstars! You two were some of the greatest motivators for me to keep going. I’m sorry that your efforts (while unintentional) probably weren’t enough this time. I love you both and wish you both the best lives you can have! (And sorry for bothering you with the tag, just wanted you to see this last little note to you both💜)

This is Hakira, signing out.

#goodbye #i love you all #i wish you all the best #and im gonna miss you all #thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me.#this is Hakira signing out.#hakira rants

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unorcadox · 2 years ago

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2 years of unorcadox.

hey hi welcome all -- hello especially to my trans and nonbinary followers, hope we’re all doing well ^_^ today’s the blog’s birthday!! as of this post going live, assuming tumblr actually does its job, it will have been 2 years since uo’s first post! i wanna just talk about the blog a little because i haven’t talked on here much as of late.

however, before that, i want to just say that i’d like to eventually start releasing video edits to accompany certain edits! i have no idea when this’ll get sorted, but i’m gonna try to get it ready by the turn of the year, so keep an eye out for that! these will mostly just be a single edit with accompanying audio on them, but who knows. maybe i’ll do something more?

in case you choose to not read the stuff below the read more, i just want to say thank you to everyone for supporting the blog over the years, and for continuing to do so! anyways, onto the actual post:

first of all, thank you all SO much for 9000 followers!! it’s over 9000 wow!! ok but seriously, when i first started this blog, i didn’t expect anyone to ever see it. i know it’s a cliche thing to say but i told no one i was making it, i didn’t network to other blogs, i just made a really shitty edit and slapped it up on here, and somehow i got lucky. i’ve made over 800 edits as of today’s post, and that’s just the ones i’ve posted! fun fact, if i’d never mass-posted my backlog in august, i would’ve ran out literally days ago. that’s how much content i try to stay ahead on.

second of all, i kinda wanna take a moment to say that i’m sorry about the lack of requests being fulfilled -- both recently and in the past. i edit in batches, and prioritize content i need for scheduling purposes, but sometimes requests get kinda forgotten in the shuffle, or i don’t really have much in the way of ideas for it, so i shelve it and hope i can come back to it later... which i very rarely do. 😔 going to try and catch up on a couple of ones i have and feel free to send in more! i know i don’t really interact as much on here as i probably should, but i love getting asks and requests and i read the notes on my posts frequently so. thank you for being there!

third of all, the future of the blog. so, i want to make this clear now -- uo’s not going anywhere! i don’t intend on changing the blog at all, if anything i’d want to add onto it. i post 3 times a day now currently, with intermittent unplanned posts at off-times, mostly reblogs of others’ edits. however, weirdcore is probably not forever and i am kinda thinking about where this blog could go in the future. i’ve considered opening a redbubble, ko-fi or patreon, as a way to support myself financially (i take virtually every photo used on this blog, and use very little outside content esp. in these newer edits) but i am uncertain about it. i could also try branching out my image editing into other styles or something, but idk what! what would you guys like to see? i’ve considered actually talking on the blog more, transitioning to having text posts be a major part of the blog, but i’m not quite sure about how they’d be received. let me know if you want to see anything on here! -- relatedly since we’re mentioning blogs, check out @dreamlink3d as i’m still working on it :)

one last thing actually, for those who choose to read the read more, enjoy the secret -- before i had to go on hiatus in august, i was working on trying to attach songs to specific uo edits, for a compilation album of some kind. i ended up running them through a site that just attaches audio to an uploaded images in ...ways i don’t understand, BUT the end results were so fun, i edited and compiled them into 2 “albums”! i don’t consider them my own work as i didn’t make the audio, and they won’t be used in the upcoming stuff, but you can listen to them here [1] and here [2] ! click on a song title to see its associated edit btw!

i know i said the last thing was the last but i just remembered actually, i want to say like. it’s weird being one of the “first” weirdcore blogs to really hit its stride, and one of the only from that time to still be around and actively posting. cahwwcabh is deactivated and they were a huge influence on me and wc as a whole, sanfor has deactivated, shwenthe/hazy/dragon/hauntedearth/a lot more tbh have more or less gone inactive, godenteredmybody and pirate-flavor still post intermittently, and most of the active blogs now are a newer set that i didn’t ever meet in my time in weirdcord. it’s weird but cool in a way! i really like the newer set of editors tbh, and i hope that me supporting them encourages people to check them out. in general this whole section is meaningless but idk i felt like vocalizing it. it’s a weird feeling watching all your peers more or less move on while you stay behind and see a new wave of artists take their place more or less. anyways, i just hope that my edits still bring happiness and meaning to the people who see them :)

ok NOW i’m done. sorry for the wall LMAO i just felt like actually saying something for once on here. btw i’ve been doing a lot better since i got back from hiatus, i hope you (yes you, the reader of this post) are doing well too -- i know this blog tends to lean heavily on negative emotions, and as such it kinda attracts people who are troubled -- so i feel like i gotta check in every once in a while LMAO. i hope life is being kind to you, thank you so much, and have a lovely day <3.

#not edits #hii there's goodies in the read more but it's also really long so GWRKLWRH #no worries if you don't read it <3 take care

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isa-ghost · 3 years ago

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How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

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justkending · 4 years ago

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The Number One Rule. Chapter 18.

Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 3100+

Chapter Eighteen:

“Good morning, Sunshine,” Steve chuckled, bringing his mug to his lips as his sister walked in with a sleep ridden face. She gave him the silent bird before moving to the coffee pot. “I see your morning self hasn’t changed.”

“What are you still doing here? I thought you would have left for work by now?” Y/N asked with a tired voice as she walked to the fridge for creamer.

He had ended up staying the night and sleeping in his old room that had been transferred into the guest bed. Him and his sister had been up late talking and catching up.

“Eh, I’m going in a few hours later since I’ve been doing overtime recently,” Steve shrugged, leaning back and watching her sit across from him. She was wearing a giant T-shirt and some old pajama pants that she tiredly tried to straighten from their disheveled state. “What’s your excuse for not being ready for work?”

“I don’t have to be there until 9 today,” she answered with her eyes closed.

There was a comfortable silence as the two sipped on their coffee and Steve read the newspaper. Looking over he saw her practically falling back asleep in her seat.

“I guess I need to talk to Bucky soon…” He spoke up. Her eyes opened at that and she turned to him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean now that I know the case, and now that I know you’re both happy, I don’t have a right to be a jackass anymore I guess,” he shrugged with a smirk.

“I’m glad you came to terms that you were a jackass,” she chuckled, punching his arm playfully. “We’ve been waiting a few years on that one.”

“Hey, I can call myself a jackass, but you watch yourself,” he warned in a light manner.

“Sure thing… Jackass,” she mumbled with a smile. Before he could start an argument, she diverted the conversation. “So, should I warn him, or-?”

“I don’t care. We have different shifts today, so I’ll see him tonight probably and talk to him.”

“Ok, then I’ll let you do the talking. I would warn him yourself though. He’s been a nervous wreck around this topic with you. Anytime he thinks about how we’ve hurt you, he gets upset and really anxious,” she explained more seriously.

“I mean, I don’t blame him. This was a shitty kind of situation to go through, but mom was right. Neither side of the problem was handled well,” Steve sighed. “I’ll text him before.”

“Good,” Y/N nodded. “Want me to come?”

“No, I think we need to talk ourselves,” Steve sighed. “If you know what I mean.”

“I get it,” she nodded standing and grabbing her mug. “Well, I’m going to get ready for work. Mind if I come over tonight though? You know, when the coast is clear? Maybe we can all have a movie night like back in the day! Becca and Sam are invited too,” she pointed to him.

“Sounds like a plan. You’re paying for pizza though. Since you have an adult job now, it’s only fair,” Steve said with raised eyebrows.

“Hey, I-”

“You owe me,” he cut her off.

She glared at him for using the given past situation as a way to get free food.

“That’s low, big bro,” she deadpanned.

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same thing,” he scoffed with a smile, going back to the paper in front of him.

“Touche,” she nodded with a pursed lip. “At least text me when I can head over, so I don’t interrupt you guys' bromance session.”

“Shut up,” he groaned as she left the room.

________

Once Y/N got to work, a few hours into her shift, she got a call from Bucky.

“Hey, B,” she smiled through the phone as she went through the loads of papers in her hands.

“Hey sweetheart,” Bucky replied just as sweetly. “Guess who texted me today?”

“Hmm, Barack Obama?” Y/N responded. “Wait, no! Michelle Obama.”

“Haha, very close, but no,” he chuckled. “You’re brother reached out.”

“Is that so?” Y/N faked surprise.

“I’m guessing you guys' conversation last night went well considering your chipper mood?” he questioned. “Or they went horribly wrong and you’re just a really good actress.”

“We all know I can’t act even if my life depended on it,” she laughed, changing the phone to her other ear as she wrote some notes on a paper.

“It’s true. You’re a horrible liar,” Bucky confirmed.

“I’m not even going to argue it no matter how much I want to,” she shrugged. “But I would say things went well. I mean we may or may not have gotten into a wrestling match on the front lawn, and mom might as well have dragged us by the ears inside to have a civil conversation, but besides that…”

“Oh God, Y/N… What the hell happened?”

She just knew he was pitching the bridge of his nose on the other end.

“Nothing too crazy. It’s just sibling fighting,” she waved off.

“At least tell me you gave him a chance. You didn’t beat his ass too much, hopefully. You know we’re trying to win him over, not push him further away, right?” Bucky had a smile in his voice, clearly just joking around.

“You know? Kids’ gotten stronger since middle school,” she noted.

“I would hope so. He fought in a war and chases bad guys for a living. Can’t have scrawny middle school Steve doing that kind of stuff. He’d get a nose bleed just looking at the wrong guy.”

The two laughed for a little reminiscing at little Steve before he bulked up in high school. But after some joking, Bucky brought the conversation back where he started.

“But in all honesty, I shouldn’t be too worried about tonight?” he asked. The nerves in his voice were clear to Y/N.

“No, Bumble Bee. We talked it out, screamed it out, and fought it out. And in doing so, we had a good conversation. Thank Sarah Rogers for keeping us on track and not letting us walk away until it was resolved,” she assured, putting his mind at rest.

“Ok, good…” Bucky sighed on the other end. A moment of silence went by as if he was trying to process it.

“Hey, I know you guys still need to talk, but I do want you to know that it’ll be all ok in the end. Don’t get too worked up about it,” Y/N said softly. “26 years of being best pals can’t be ruined by this little bump. You said it yourself.”

Bucky let out a breath and nodded. “You’re right. It… It’s just, I hate that he found out how he did, and…” he paused. “It just kinda sucked seeing him that upset.”

“I get it,” Y/N nodded on her end. “But hey,” she added. “We’ll all be ok. Truly.”

“I trust you, doll,” he grinned. There was some distant talking on the phone and Bucky humming. “Hey, I have to go. Boss needs me for something. Call you later?”

“For sure. Have a good day, and let me know if you need anything!”

“Right back at you. Love you, sweetheart,” he slipped out the last part unconsciously.

There was a moment of silence as the two were stunned. Neither had said the “L” word yet… At least not to each other…

“Uh,” Bucky stuttered out. “I-I-...”

“Buck-,” Y/N started in just as much shock.

Another round of someone shouting on the other line that wasn’t Bucky came through through the phone.

“I have to go! Talk to you later,” Bucky shouted into the phone.

Before she could say anything else, the line ended and she slowly pulled back the phone seeing her lock screen blank. No words came out after that.

She just stared at the screen where a picture of her Bucky, Becca, and Steve all were embedded in a bear hug together. An old picture, but one that she always loved and cherished with a group of her favorite humans.

She also loved it because even though it was before Bucky and her had become an item, they were squished against each other. Bucky was smiling wide and caught in a laugh as he looked down at her, catching her from stumbling to the ground, and she was laughing as she gripped his arm to find her balance. Steve and Becca laughing on the side at her clumsy self, and the fact someone was always having to help her stay on two feet. Bucky having always been one of those top people in her life.

She smiled down at the memory and couldn’t help but feel those little flutters move from her stomach to her chest and eventually make her cheeks heat up.

_________________

Now he had two things to freak out about. One being Steve and his talk tonight. Yes, he knew he didn’t really need to after Y/N’s reassurance that things would be fine, but still. It was a strange conversation to have with your best friend.

“Sorry I fell in love with your sister and hid it from you. My best friend of over a quarter of a decade. Not to mention you found out from me coming out of her room half naked after you thought she was home alone...”

Yeah, that was going to be weird no matter how ok they were now…

Then you add in, he just casually told Y/N that he loved her before hanging up the phone. He didn’t mean to. It just felt so natural in the moment!

He wanted to make the first time he said it special, not just by accident…

God, his heart was racing and now he had four hours left of his work day to let those things just stir around in his head. Great. Maybe that 3rd cup of coffee wasn’t that great of an idea.

_______________

“So, everything’s good with you guys?” Sam asked after Steve let him in on everything.

“Yeah. I mean Buck and I still need to talk it out, but… I don’t know. I can’t be mad if they’re both happy at the end of the day. Happiest I’ve seen either of them in a while, if I’m being honest,” Steve shrugged with a small smile.

“See, I knew that’d be the case at the end of the day. I tried telling Bucky that,” Sam shook his head as he finished up the dishes. “And sorry man about not saying anything. I didn’t think it was my place to,” he apologized.

“No, I get it. This was their own thing. You were just being a good friend to Bucky and letting him figure this out himself,” Steve waved.

“He’ll be home in a little. You worried?” Sam asked, washing his hands off.

“No, if anyone’s nervous it’ll be Bucky. Y/N and I had a really good talk last night. No matter how upset I was before, I now know where they were coming from,” Steve sighed. “Did I agree with it? No, but we all have different ways we would go about things.”

“True facts,” Sam smiled. “Well, I’ll hoard myself in my room for a while until the coast is clear. Let me know if you guys need anything, ok?”

“Got it. Oh, and Y/N said she was going to come over after with pizza for a movie night, if you want to join,” Steve pointed out moving to the couch.

“I’m here for it,” Sam nodded, going down the hall to his room. “Call me when all is resolved.”

Steve nodded and plopped down on the couch skimming through the channels as he waited for Bucky. About 15 minutes later, he heard the lock turn and quietly the brunette made his way in with caution.

“Hey,” Steve said softly, turning from the end of the couch.

“Hey,” Bucky said with a soft smile as he put his things by the door.

These were the first words they had spoken in over 2 weeks. They hadn’t talked since the whole fight in the backyard.

“How was work?” Steve asked, making small talk.

“Nothing too crazy today,” Bucky shrugged, walking to the back of the couch with his hands in his pockets. “Oh, Lillian asked about you again.”

“From accounting?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Only Lillian I know that’s obsessed with you,” Bucky laughed lightly.

“God, I’m not ready for that…” Steve returned the chuckle.

It got quiet after that. Not awkward, but not comfortable either.

“So…”

“Listen, Bucky,” Steve sitting back in his chair running a hand across his face. “I’m sorry, I punched you after-”

“Don’t be. I deserved it,” Bucky waved him off, coming around the couch slowly to sit on the opposite end.

“Ok, yeah. You’re right,” Steve nodded with another small laugh. Again another pregnant pause. “I gotta know. Why didn’t you just tell me, Buck?”

He took in a deep breath before answering. “I’m sure Y/N told you, but we didn’t want things to have a bad falling out and it be awkward for everyone else-.”

“No, not that. Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t going to do it from the start?” Steve interrupted.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Y/N said that you guys went back and forth on not going through with this because you didn’t want to hurt me. I mean, maybe that’s not that big of a deal, but it changes things on my end some,” Steve explained. Bucky just sent him a blank stare. “What I mean is, when I first figured everything out, I was hurt because I thought you didn’t even consider me in your decisions. I know, it sounds selfish, but-”

“No, it doesn’t. You’re a part of the equation to some extent. Just like Becca is. But surprisingly Becca was excited and not freaked out about her best friend dating her big brother. It’s a little different being the big brother in the situation though,” he said softly. “It’s not selfish though Steve. If the roles were reversed and say you and Becca dated, I would hope you considered my feelings in the matter too.”

Steve was glad that he understood what he was getting at. He was worried it wouldn’t make sense or make him look like he thought the whole thing revolved around him.

“Yeah…” Steve paused. “But you didn’t say anything about that when we did get in that fight. Why?”

“I don’t know… I guess I just wanted you to understand my feelings for her more than anything. I needed you to know that she wasn’t just some girl I was hoping to hook up with at some point.”

“I know you would never do that Buck. No matter how upset I was, I still don’t think that low of you,” Steve sighed. “And about that… I’m sorry I said you don’t deserve her… That was an extremely hard hit to the gut.”

“You were looking out for her,” Bucky said with pursed lips, but the pain from the past comment was clear. It didn’t feel good having your best friend who's been through thick and thin with you tell you weren’t worth something.

“Yes, but that was a low blow and I said it out of hurt feelings. I was hurt, so I wanted you to be just as hurt. That wasn’t fair,” Steve concluded. “If there is anyone in this world that I trust to take care of Y/N just as much as me, it’s you Buck. I was just blinded by anger.”

“Understandably,” Bucky nodded, looking back at his friend a little less troubled.

“Understandably,” Steve agreed. They stared at each other silently communicating. “I’m sorry.”

“If anyone is sorry, it’s me Steve,” Bucky shook his head running a hand down his thigh still slightly anxious.

“How about we both agree that we didn’t handle this situation the best way,” Steve smiled. “I should have seen how happy you two were and not second guess how it happened. I shouldn’t have made it about me when you both clearly are what the other needs.”

“Steve-”

“Truly. You guys have been glowing the last two months with complete and utter happiness and I was so oblivious to pick up on it. I feel like a shitty brother and best friend.”

“You’re not a shitty brother or best friend. Not in the least,” Bucky said scooting to the edge of the couch. “You know that.”

“Y/N tell you we got in a fight on the lawn yesterday?” Steve asked with a small smirk.

Bucky chuckled. “Yes. Said your mom about beat your asses out there too.”

“All because I was too stubborn to talk it out,” Steve shook his head while he threw it back on the back of the couch.

“Eh, you said it yourself. We all didn’t handle this situation well,” Bucky chuckled. “She kicked your ass, didn’t she?” he said after a second.

“Wouldn’t say that, but she must have worked out over seas because I couldn’t pin her like I used to. She was giving me a pretty decent fight,” Steve laughed loudly.

“God, I would pay money to have someone get that on tape,” Bucky laughed with him.

The two soaking up the now comfortable atmosphere.

“So we’re ok, right?” Steve asked. “Leave all out petty, stubborn, and stupid mistakes in the past?”

“I’m fine with that if you are,” Bucky nodded.

“Good. I’ve missed having my best friend around. I was getting tired of ignoring you,” Steve sighed, patting Bucky’s back.

“You gave me good practice with your stubbornness for Y/N. Not that I haven’t been practicing with you both my whole life, but damn you guys are too bull-headed monsters.”

“We feed off each other's energy,” Steve shrugged with a smirk.

“I know, it’s exhausting, yet entertaining all at the same time,” Bucky smiled as he moved his head side to side.

A knock sounded at the door and they both turned toward the wooden panel.

“Speaking of the devil,” Steve smiled standing up.

Bucky froze.

Shit. One anxiety had been cured now, but he had almost forgotten about his second one...

(Tags for this series will be closing soon as it is getting pretty full, please send an ask if you want to be added:)

I’ll post on whatever chapter I decided to close it down here.

The Number One Rule (TNOR) Taglist:

@shadowolf993 @hello-i-am-daydreaming @jessyballet @emmabarnes @kmuir1 @beautifulrare4leafclover @thefallenbibliophilequote @l0ve-0f-my-life @shawnie--jo–jo @asoftie4bucky @katiaw2 @sheeple @sznri @bxtchboy69 @taliarosej00 @bakugouswh0r3 @stopjustlovethemcu @babemendesxz @jenniereiji @taliarosej00 @loveyou5everr @natdrunk @im-a-light-child @stucky-my-ship @fairykimseok

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness

@bellamy-barnes

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses

#bucky barnes au series #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader au #bucky barnes x reader au series #bucky barnes x y/n rogers #bucky barnes x y/n rogers au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes series #justkending #justkending series #justkending marvel #marvel #marvel au #marvel au fanfic

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eelistolvanen · 4 years ago

Text

Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny

A/N: Soo, I recently came up with the idea for this fic. It’s nowhere near finished but I figured I’d post the first part. Let me know if you like it and want more :)

Words: 3k

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, no proofread

Summary: Two years after getting your heart broken by the love of your life, you run into someone from your past life. And you have to face the fact that you can’t run away forever but have to face your past and everything that shattered you. (I know this is vague but I don’t want to spoiler this...)

Italics indicate flashbacks.

_______________________________

Hannah peaked her head trough the door. “Y/N! You’re still here? Shouldn’t you be at home by now?” She send a confused look. Y/N gave her a soft smile. “I’m just finishing up something, Han. One of my students is a little behind in class and I’m trying to figure out ways to help him. And you’re still here too. ” “You’re too kind for your own good”, Hannah replied with a quiet sigh “I would be long home if it wasn’t for this parent talk I had tonight. You should go home too, it’s late.” “I will, once I finish this” you reply with a glint in your eyes. Hannah knew better than to argue with you. Everyone knew how stubborn you could be. Hannah send you a final wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night Y/N!” “Good night Han!”

You stayed for longer than you probably should have. And you were definitely feeling it the next day. Thankfully you had a free afternoon. So you did what you usually did on a Thursday afternoon. You sat in your favourite little café and were preparing for the upcoming week. While the café still screamed Philly, it was far enough out of the city to be quiet. It felt so local and intimate, nothing like the big, busy city. That’s probably the reason you loved it so much. Most costumers were locals and by now you got to know a couple familiar faces. You had been living in this part of town for about a year now. And while you were reminded of your old life every now and then – flyers jerseys being worn by the locals, banners hanging around your part of town, a familiar face in the newspaper- that life seemed far far away now.

The ringing of the doorbell ripped you out of your thoughts and let you focus back on the computer in front of you. You hadn’t gotten very far today. Somehow you head was somewhere else, definitely not focused on the task at hand. You also hadn’t noticed the man approaching you’re table. Only realising his presence as he slipped into the seat across from you.

“Y’know I knew you couldn’t hide from me forever. I couldn’t believe my eyes the other day, I thought I was dreaming, when I saw you walk out this door.” He hadn’t changed that much in the last 2 years, eyes still as pretty as ever, still wearing that cheeky little smile of his. For a moment you froze, unable to get a word out or even move a muscle. But your wall wasn’t down for long. “What are you doing here, Nolan? This isn’t your part of town.” You cringed at your ice cold reply, but was he really expecting you to welcome him with open arms?

“Well yeah, I admit it was a fluke that I saw you the other day. I’ve been around this part of town a lot recently.”

You really didn’t care about his stories, you weren’t best friends anymore, you couldn’t even consider him a friend really. A stranger with shared memories maybe. It hurt you to pack up your things and get up to leave but you couldn’t sit here and make small talk with Nolan. You might have left that life behind but that didn’t meant that it wasn’t still haunting you. You could see the disappointed look on Nolan’s face once he realised what you were doing. But he didn’t stop you. Of course, he didn’t. Sweet, loving Nolan, he never met you with anything other than kindness. But here you were, walking out on him again.

“You know, I don’t remember us breaking up too, Y/N.” The sadness in his voice was unmistakable.

“Leave it, Nols!” you muttered just as your voice cracked. Tears sprang into your eyes as you left the café in a hurry.

_______________________

The bar was beyond crowded. It was a Friday night and if it were up to you, you’d be curled up on the couch with a glass of red wine. But somehow Hannah and some of your other friends managed to drag you out of your house. Now you were squeezed into a booth, somewhat tipsy, and were listening to your friend Liz complain about some guy. To be honest you were actually enjoying yourself. A night out with your friends was exactly what you needed right now. Hannah looked up behind you, as you felt someone approaching your booth.

“Hey Kelsey, how is it going?” Hannah asked with a smile on her face. You vaguely remember the brunette approaching your table as one of Hannah’s neighbours. You’d seen her around but never really held a conversation with her. “Hey Hannah, hey girls! I’m just dropping this drink off.” She replied as she placed a tall glass in front of you. She gave you a gentle smile. “Nolan said it is your favourite.” It was a Long Island Ice Tea and it used to be your favourite. Not anymore. You accepted it anyway.

“He’s here?” you replied probably a bit to sharp as Kelsey slightly winced. She nodded her head towards the bar. You turned around and looked straight into Nolan’s eyes. As if burned you flinched and turned back around just as quickly. Kelsey gave one last wave before turning towards the bar.

The rest of the night was torture. You wanted nothing more than to get out of the bar and go home. Just as you were leaving the bar, seemingly escaping any other run in with the past, you felt his presence behind you. As soon as you were outside he spoke up.

“Give me a chance, Y/N. I know you’re angry and mad and hurt, but I don’t deserve this. Not this silent, cold shoulder treatment.” You knew he was right. He’d never done anything to you. He let you cry onto his shoulder when your heart broke. When he broke you. Nolan was nothing but supportive, the greatest best friend any one could ask for. And then you walked out of his life, without as much as a goodbye.

You turned around, tears in your eyes. God, it hurt to see him like this. So full of sorrow, so hurt. “I can’t Nolan. I’m so sorry.” With that your voice broke and you turned around and did the only thing you knew. You ran away. Again.

________________________

It was Sunday morning, almost lunchtime as you dragged yourself out of bed. You still hadn’t recovered from this week, let alone from everything that happened the Friday prior. Not feeling like making breakfast you decided you treat yourself to brunch at the café.

The doorbell rang as you entered and you were so hungry you took a beeline straight to the counter. As you ordered your food and paid, you started walking towards your usual table. Only to find it occupied.

“Y/N! Come sit down, we need to talk.” You took a deep breath to steady yourself. “Just let it be, Nolan. There’s nothing to talk about.” But before you were able to fully turn around and find another way out of this, he’d already grabbed your wrists and pulled you towards the table. You let yourself fall into the booth defeated.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Nolan.” You could hear him sight audibly. “Fine, then we’ll talk about something else.” You looked up at him and realised it wasn’t worth fighting him. So you decided to take the lead, at least this gave you the chance to dictate the conversation.

“Soo, you and Kelsey, huh? Are you like together?” You internally cringed at you passive tone. Nolan’s face lit up. “Yeah, she’s great you know. I feel like she could be the one.” Your mood started to lighten up. “That’s good. I’m happy for you Nolan, I really am. I know how much you wanted to meet someone special. The one, huh?” He chuckled lightly. You really were happy for him, if someone deserved all the good things it was Nolan. “When I met her, I just kinda knew, you know?” You stayed silent. Oh, you knew. You knew what it felt like to meet the one. Nolan quickly identified the look of sadness on your face. “I mean, yeah… She means a lot to me.” You gave him a thankful smile. He knew you didn’t want to talk about him. He reached across the table and took your hand in his.

“I just… Y/N, you were my best friend, you still are. Don’t push me away. I know your hurting but I’m your friend.” You knew this was coming. But you still wished you could run away from it. But you couldn’t. Not this time. Nolan didn’t deserve this. “You’re also his friend!” you tried to keep your emotions at bay but it just flowed over. “That’s not fair and you know that. I didn’t just lose one friend that day. I lost two. My two best friends.” His voice cracked and he turned his head to the side so you wouldn’t see his watery eyes. You felt a sudden lump in your throat. You never thought about how he felt. God, you were so selfish. “I’m so sorry Nolan. I was a shitty friend.” He gave you a sad smile. “No, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve what happened. I get why you left. Why you ran away. Get away from it all, let the dust settle, start again. I just always thought that I’d hear from you. Maybe that you would come back even. But I got nothing. No call, no text, nothing. I had to call your sister to know you’re still alive but that was all I got.” You were crying silent tears now, slowly you stood up and moved over to hug him. “God, I’m so sorry Nols. I wanted to, I just couldn’t. I needed to restart my life. And you were such a big part of the life I used to have, I just didn’t think I could handle the pain.” He squeezed your shoulders. “Just promise me not to run from me again. Don’t shut me out, you weren’t the only one hurting.”

That evening you were standing in front of your drawer. It seemed like it took you hours to muster up courage to open it. You hadn’t touched it since you moved in. And you hadn’t touched it’s content in over 2 years. Slowly you pulled it open. A wave of emotions crushed over you. All the memories kept flooding back. In this drawer was all the stuff you weren’t able to throw away. You just couldn’t bring yourself to it. All your memories of your life back then. Your hand moved over it’s content. Until it landed on the little velvet box. You took it out and opened it. Instantly tears started to fill your eyes as the memory came flooding back, knocking you over.

“Y/N, you’re the most important thing in my life, you’re my best decision, my greatest friend and adventure. You’re the love of my life.” Slowly Travis took a knee in front of you and pulled a little velvet box out of his pocket. “I love you so much, Y/N! Will you marry me?” with that he opened the little boy and revealed the most perfect engagement ring. You couldn’t contain your excitement, nearly knocking him over as you tried to kiss him. “Yes, yes, I will marry you!” Thankfully he caught you and lifted you up, kissing you. As he slipped the ring on your finger he softly muttered “I can’t wait to marry you, Mrs. Konecny!”

_________________

The following week was thankfully less stressful. On Thursday, when you had you’re afternoon off, Nolan just so happened to have an off day. He was currently sprawled out on your couch, taking in his surroundings. “I like your place, it’s nice. When did you move in?”

You froze. Your hand was hovering above the water bottle you were trying to grab out of the fridge. You knew you had to tell him the truth. And you also knew he wasn’t going to like it.

“A bit over a year ago.” You grabbed the water bottle and turned towards Nolan, just as you heard him suck in a deep breath. When you looked at him you could see the tension that had risen up.

“A year ago? A year, Y/N?! You’ve been back in Philly for an entire year and you couldn’t even send a text that you’re back?”

God, you hated to disappoint him like that. You knew it was wrong to not reach out to him, he’d done nothing wrong. Still, you didn’t feel strong enough to let someone from your past life back into your new life. You felt like this was the only way to move on.

Before you could reply something, he continued.

“So when were you going to reach out Y/N? I mean eventually you would-“ He paused, studying your face. Of course he would be able to read you like an open book.

“You weren’t.” The utter disappointment in his voice nearly took your breath away.

“No.” Your voice was so quiet, you weren’t he even heard you. He didn’t need to, he already knew the answer. In one swift motion Nolan rose to his feet, taking a few steps towards the windowfront of your apartment. He dragged his hands through his long hair a couple of times before turning back to you.

“Why? I was your best friend Y/N. Why?”

“I already told you Nolan, I couldn’t.” You barely got those words out before Nolan spoke up again.

“But why? I get that you needed time away, that you needed to restart and I also wouldn’t have blamed you if you never returned to Philly. But I just never thought you would cut all ties with me. I always thought our friendship would survive this, that one day at least the two of us would be back to normal.”

You didn’t know how to start. How could you let him down easy with this. How could you tell your best friend that you planned on never seeing him again. Slowly you sat down on the couch and waited for Nolan to join you.

“You have to know I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to leave you without saying something but I was in so much pain, so angry and hurt I wasn’t functioning properly. And at first I wanted to call you, reach out to you. But I just thought that I needed to have some time by myself for a while. And the longer it took the harder it got. I felt like I had to completely leave this life behind, so I could move on, so that it would hurt less.” Tears were rolling down your cheeks and your vision had started to get blurry. Everything that you had buried deep down was starting to resurface.

“I’m sorry Nolan. But I just felt like I had to leave this life behind me. Everything from this life, him, you, the team, my friends that I’d made here. You were such a big part of my life then, I couldn’t think about you without being reminded of him. So I realized I had to let it go. All of it. Even my best friend.”

You body was shaking with sobs now. Nolan pulled you into his chest, keeping you close. One hand soothingly stroking your hair.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to be collateral damage, Nolan.” You mumbled into his chest, sobs still raking your body.

You stayed like this for a while. Nolan stayed silent, letting you cry into his chest. It took ages till you felt yourself calm. You had let everything out. Of course you had cried before but not like this. The last time you’d been crying like that was a bit over 2 years ago while Nolan held you close and whispered countless “It’s going to be okay” into your hair. I hadn’t helped though. His words empty promises, that the both of you knew weren’t true. In that moment, 2 years ago, your heart truly shattered. And no matter how hard Nolan tried, there was nothing he could do to fix it. To late, the damage had already been done, just a few hours prior.

“Gosh, you look so beautiful Y/N!” Your sister Lauren tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I still can’t believe this is happening, sis. You’re getting married!” You had never seen you this happy. And you’d never been this happy either. You had dreamed of such a wedding since you were little. Suddenly all your Pinterest Wedding boards had seemed to come alive. You were smiling ear to ear.

There was another knock on the door, like there had been so many others this morning, but you didn’t really realise the new presence until Nolan was approaching you. He had a weird look in his eyes and as he came closer you realised that his eyes were slightly watery. Before you could say anything he had wrapped you in a hug. You felt like he was going to squeeze you to death. As he pulled back you could see the sad smile on his face. Something was wrong.

“You look so pretty, Y/N. My beautiful best friend.” You could see that he was trying to masque his feelings but you knew him all too well. Panic set in.

“What’s wrong?” You searched his eyes for answers but he only had eyes for the ground. “Nolan, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Travis?” The blood in your veins seemed to freeze. Suddenly the room started spinning. Still no answer from Nolan. “Nolan! Please, what’s wrong with him?” Finally Nolan seemed to be ripped out of his trance. When he lifted his gaze up to look into your eyes you could see the tears running down his cheeks. “He’s fine, Y/N. He’s …” “He’s what?” you pushed. You knew from the look in his eyes that the answer was going to shatter you.

He slowly shook his head. “He’s not coming, Y/N.”

Part 2

#travis konecny #travis konecny imagine #travis konency fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #travis konecny x reader #my writing

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cherryonigiri · 5 years ago

Text

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

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edgiestdude · 3 years ago

Text

NOTE: This is from a reblog I made based on a post. Originally, I wasn’t gonna make a post about this whole Canonseeker situation ,that’s like old already and I even mention it on this reblog,that will be deleted by now,yet I decided to post this. In the end, at least it isn’t a big ass post about Canonseeker drama and whatnot,yet it still feels hypocritical of me to post this. Hell,even this reblog kinda counts if you seen my last post, where I said I hated this fandom due to drama, but I felt like I should at least talk about this by my own words on a post rather than a reblog. I’m sorry.

I had a very similar interaction with the guy. While I was never harassed by him,and actually did some meme commissions for the guy,he would always act a bit…extreme on Reddit.

Eventually he would get banned and time passed on,but recently he began harassing Judgemental critter…TWICE! The first time I thought,maybe, that Canonseeker would change,considering we all fuck in life,yet it seems like he didn’t learn his lesson and attacked her AGAIN;and in secret. It was then I realized I couldn’t really trust the guy anymore.

I feel awful for Canonseekers followers considering he might’ve manipulated them to thinking he’s the ‘victim’ in this whole situation, and ,if not, believing that he’ll change when,in reality, that’ll never happen. And all because he doesn’t let people be and,basically, has them live rent free in his own head. I’ve never been a fan of RWBY critics that much, but to harass them is really shitty. Despite that though, I don’t think anyone should harass or sent death threats to Canonseeker because that’ll just make them as bad,or worse, than him.

I was originally gonna make a whole post on this,but I felt like people moved on from the drama and I felt like I would,basically, be seeking drama,so I didn’t make it. But If Canonseeker unfollows me,and,possibly,harasses and twists me into a completely different person to others…I’ll be waiting for it.

End:So…that’s it. I guess tell me what y’all thought about this.

#rwby discourse #rwby discussion #rant #rwby fandom #Canonseeker

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queenlua · 4 years ago

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You're a druid and an ex-evangelical, right? What does being a druid mean to you? How did you get from evangelicalism to where you are now? And of course feel free to ignore this if it's nosy. (sincerely, a Christian who wants to leave but who doesn't know what to do)

this is going to make me sound ignorant as hell, lol, but i'm happy to share

under a cut because this got very long, sorry, lol.

my personal progression was: "vaguely christian -> VERY christian -> christian agnostic -> agnostic/atheist -> agnostic/druid -> some sorta druid-neopagan-animist thing." i guess i'll just go through what made me switch between each of those, and close out with some high-level thoughts that may be helpful for you?

okay, so when i was

VAGUELY CHRISTIAN,

i went to Sunday school every week because That's What You Do, and because my whole hometown was very southern Baptist, i never questioned the veracity of its teachings much... until they ran a whole weekly series on "why [x] is wrong," where [x] is some other group

e.g., we had a week on why Mormons are wrong, and i didn't bat an eye because i hadn't even known Mormons existed until that moment

then we had a week on why Muslims are wrong, and that... bothered me, because i had a friend who was Muslim, and she was just objectively a better person than me, and i was like "any universe where she goes to hell and i don't seems really fucked up"

then we had a week on why EVOLUTION was wrong, and that just absolutely threw me, because while i hadn't thought about evolution much (i think i was in fourth grade or so), it seemed common-sense? scientists thought highly of it? "adaptation over time" just seems logical?

so i went to the public library every day after school for like a week, read some Darwin and some science books, and came back to my Sunday school teacher with, like, an itemized list of objections to the whole "evolution is wrong" thing. and he came up with some standard Answers In Genesis rebuttals, and i did more research and came back the next week with more science, and we repeated this a few times until he was like "lua, you just gotta take some things on faith"

which. lmao. full existential crisis time, because no matter how hard i thought, i couldn't *not* believe in the science, but i also didn't want to go to hell, so i was like "maybe if i believe SUPER HARD i will SOMEDAY be able to unbelieve the condemn-me-to-hell bits"

so i decided to become

VERY CHRISTIAN

and my frantic googling for shit like "proof of god" and "god and evolution" *eventually* broke me out of the Answers In Genesis circles of the internet, and into some decent Christian apologia, like, think First Things and various Catholic bloggers. and there, i found some way to square my gut sense that evolution was right, with a spiritual worldview.

like, i remember finding some blogger who said:

"young earth creationists get tripped up when they try to explain stars that are millions of light-years away, and end up basically arguing that God's tricking us somehow, and—no! my God lets you believe in the evidence of your eyes, my God does not demand that you make yourself ignorant or stupid, my God expects you to use your brain"

and i just started crying at my computer, because no one had ever said "using your brain is Good and part of God's will," i was like *finally* here's someone who won't tell me i'm going to hell for just *thinking* about things

(st. augustine does a much better riff on a similar theme, fwiw, but i only found him later)

still, it was an uneasy fit, because, the more i learned and read about world history, the more it seemed... weird... that the One And Singular Path To Salvation was... the successor to some niche desert cult... which didn't even occur at the *beginning* of written history, like, it was all predated by that whole Mithraism thing, etc... and like, sure, i could trot out all the standard theological talking points for why Actually This Makes Perfect Sense, but gut-level-wise, the aesthetics just seemed kinda dumb! and no level of talking myself out of it made that feeling go away!

so at this point i started referring to myself as a

CHRISTIAN AGNOSTIC

i mean, not aloud. i still lived in southernbaptistopia and i didn't want, like, my hair stylist to tell me i was a horrible person. but in my *head* i called myself Christian agnostic and it felt right.

and i started church-hopping, which honestly was really fun, would recommend to anyone at any point. i visited the fire-and-brimstone baptist church, the methodist church, the episcopalians, the universal unitarians, etc.

unfortunately, while this gave me *some* new perspectives, each of the places either had the same shitty theology as my old megachurch (i remember the *acute* sense of despair i felt when i was starting to jive with a methodist church... only for the dumbass youth minister to start going on about evolution), or, they just lacked any sense of the *sacred*. like, the Church of Christ churches, with their a capella services, *definitely* had it; i felt more God there in one service than i did in a lifetime of shitty Christian rock at the megachurch. but their beliefs were even *more* batshit, so. big L on that one.

having failed to find a satisfactory church, i was basically

AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST

by the time i went to college, but honestly pretty unhappy about it; while it was harder than ever for me to actually *connect* with the divine, i didn't like thinking that my previous experiences of the divine were total lies. because my shitty evangelical church, for all its faults, could not *completely* sabotage the sense of God's presence. there were real moments in that church where i do believe i experienced something divine. mostly mediated by one particular youth minister, who in hindsight was the only spiritual teacher in that church who didn't seem a bit rotten inside, but! it was something!

so when i happened upon a bunch of writings on the now-defunct shii.org (that's the bit that makes me look WILDLY ignorant, lol), i was utterly captivated.

said author was a previous archdruid of the Reformed Druids of North America, an organization that was formed in the 1960s to troll the administration of Carleton College (there was a religious-service-attendance requirement; they made their own religion; their religion had whiskey and #chilltimes for its services). however, this shii.org dude seemed to take it pretty seriously. he was studying history of religion and blogged a lot about his studies, both academic and otherwise. while RDNA had started out as a troll, that didn't mean they hadn't *discovered* something real in the process, he said.

this, already, was going to be innately appealing to me; i've got a soft spot for wow-we-were-doing-this-ironically-but-now-it's-kinda-real? stuff in general.

in particular, shii.org’s discussions on the separation of ritual from belief was really interesting to me: most religions/spiritualities have *both*, but like, you can do a ritual without having the Exact Right Beliefs (if there even is such a thing!), and it can still be useful to you, it can have real power. (he had a really lovely essay, speculating on the origins of religion as just a form of art, but that essay is now lost to the sands of time, alas.)

(note that i wouldn't really recommend seeking out *recent* writing by the shii.org guy; he kinda went full tedious neoreactionary-blowhard-who-reads-a-lot-of-Spengler at some point? sigh.)

the shii.org guy led me to checking out a bunch of books on the history of neopaganism & also books by scholars of religion in general, and the more i read, the more excited i became. and i started doing little ritual/meditation stuff here and there.

then i was fortunate enough to attend some events with Earthspirit (this was when i lived in Boston), which cemented my hippie dalliances into something more real. the folks there, being from Boston, were all ridiculously overeducated (a sensibility that appeals to me), but also, being the kind of folks who drive out to a mountain in the middle of nowhere for a spiritual retreat, they tolerated a full range of oddities (everyone from aging-70s-feminist-wiccans to living-on-a-farm-with-your-bros-Astaru to dude-who-started-having-weird-visions-and-is-just-trying-to-figure-out-the-deal to Nordic-spiritualist-with-two-phds-from-Scandanavian-universities-on-the-subject, etc), which gave me a lot of room to explore different types of rituals, ceremonies, "magic", etc.

(polytheism in general lends itself well to this sort of easy plurality! i can believe other people are experiencing something real with their gods, and i can be talking to a totally different set of gods, and that’s just all very compatible, etc)

anyway, i started calling myself

AGNOSTIC/DRUID

around then, because i knew i'd found *something*, something that felt like all the realest moments i'd ever had in nature, and all the realest moments i'd ever had in that shitty megachurch, but i wasn't quite ready to put a theology to it.

but, idk, you do the thing for a while, and you start encountering some things that you may as well call gods, and you realize you're in pretty deep, and you ditch the "agnostic" bit and just throw hands and start describing yourself as

SOME SORTA DRUID-NEOPAGAN-ANIMIST THING

because that's the most precise thing you can muster. in particular, the druid bit resonates because nature's still very much at the center of my practice; the neopagan bit resonates because i'm not especially interested in reconstructing older traditions or being faithful to any actual pre-Christian traditions, and animist resonates because what i sometimes call gods seem to be tied pretty tightly to the land itself. it's all very experiential; all this mostly means i'm some weird chick who sometimes grabs a car and drives out someplace very lonely and hikes for a while and does some hippie shit to try and talk with the land or the god or whatever is there. and sometimes i come back from it changed, or refocused, or what-have-you, and hopefully i'm better for it. i'm aware this makes me look a little ridiculous, and is an unsatisfying answer, sorry!

WRT YOUR SITUATION

i don't know you or your situation, obviously, but if i wanted to give former-me some advice to save her some angst, i'd say

-> Christendom itself is far wilder and more diverse than many churches lead you to believe. if you still want to be Christian on some level, and it's just a shitty church that's convinced you the whole project is fucked, i'd honestly explore, i dunno, your nearest Quaker meeting. they're invoking the Holy Spirit with regularity but they're not raging douchenozzles about it.

-> if you're specifically interested in druidism, i found John Michael Greer's "A World Full of Gods" really nice. (caveat: Greer has *also* gone full right-wing nutjob these days, sigh, so like. would not recommend a great swath of his writing. but that one's good)

-> deciding that a just God wouldn't give me a brain and then ask me not to use it was hugely comforting to me. like, that was the start of the whole process, that was what made me feel ok searching for other churches and trying to find something that fit. obviously you should take this with 800 grains of salt, because obviously i'm no longer Christian, and thus maybe i'm just some poor misguided fallen soul, but... i still kinda believe that! maybe if you can make yourself believe that, it'll seem less scary?

idk, happy to answer more questions, sorry for the long ramble, hope it helped~

#druid stuff

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when-will-they-interact · 4 years ago

Note

Could you do prompt 11 or 6 u don’t have to though sorry

11- “Excuse you, I can be as dramatic and ridiculous as I want, outside of work hours. You can’t stop me.”

Virgil raised a hand to shield his eyes from the bright glare of the light pointed right at him. Squinting to see past it, he did his level best to glare his disapproval at his two best friends.

“Guys, is this really necessary?” he grumbled.

“Oh, definitely. You’ve been acting weird for months and every time we ask you manage to deflect. We’re simply taking proactive measures to find out what’s up with you before it comes around to bite all of us in the butt.” Janus adjusted his gloves, looking every bit the super-villain-interrogator he was pretending to be.

“And you don’t think that this whole setup is entirely too ridiculous and dramatic for a lawyer of your standing?”

“Excuse you, I can be as dramatic and ridiculous as I want, outside of work hours. You can’t stop me.”

“Not that we’d want to. Jan, hon, where’d you put the tweezers?” Remus butted in.

“No tweezers. We agreed,” Janus patted them on the shoulder consolingly, adding, “but you do get to sing if he doesn’t cooperate.”

Virgil’s eyes widened in fear. If Janus was willing to let Remus sing, they must be taking this really seriously.

“All right. Before we begin, state your name for the record.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, thoroughly unimpressed.

“Fine. Have it your way. We’ll get right into it then. You’ve been going out more often than usual, citing, and I quote, ‘hanging with friends’. We all know this has to be a blatant lie, because neither of us was with you during these times and we happen to be your only friends. You also missed the day your favorite band was in town during their tour. You’ve worn something other than your hoodie 13 times in the last 2 months, an all time high. You’ve invested in eyeshadow that isn’t black and actually used it. What’s going on?”

Virgil blinked. His friends kept closer tabs on his hoodie than he had thought. Their work was impressive, but he wasn’t gonna crack that easy. “So you’re saying I can’t make new friends?”

Re gasped dramatically. “You would abandon us? Leave us to suffer in the dust and the day-to-day grind of life as you make your way up the social ladder? Virge, the betrayal shall simply kill me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning at his friend’s theatrics. “I’d never abandon you; you know that.”

“So then what is it?”

“Why do you guys feel such a pressing need to pry into how I spend my time?”

“Because we’re worried.”

“What could you possibly be worried about? Me changing things up a bit?”

“We’re worried about you because we think you might be taking the same road as your mom.”

Virgil did a double take, sure this had to be some kind of sick prank, but the look in Janus’ eyes stopped him from saying so. Jan was deadly serious, and Virgil was only now realizing that the theatrics were his friends trying not to fully freak out.

“The weird outings, the spacy look you get, the odd behavior, the missing important events? We were there, Virge, we remember how it went. We’re worried about you, and we want to know if you’re safe. You can tell us anything, we’ll help you with anything.” Remus’ voice was quieter than usual, and for the first time in a long time, they looked scared.

Virgil didn’t respond for a bit. He was mentally berating himself for not realizing just how his recent behavior would look, and also for not just telling them what was going on in the first place.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. I should have known how you guys would see this. I can assure you it’s not that.”

“So what is it then?” Jan asked.

“I, um, I’ve been seeing someone,” Virgil sped forward, determined to get the story out before either of them could interrupt, “His name is Logan, and I didn’t say anything because he’s kinda high profile and we wanted the relationship under wraps until the both of us were ready. I should have told you guys, though, you’re my closest friends and I don’t like keeping things from you.”

“You. You got a boyfriend???” Remus’ jaw was practically on the ground.

“Is it really that hard to believe?” Virgil asked, defensive.

“Considering your track record of running away from romantic relationships, yes, it kind of is.” Janus had slumped in relief the moment Virgil had explained, but now he perked back up.

“I- okay fair.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘high profile’?”

“He’s this big name in investing or something. To be honest, I completely lost track of what he was saying when he tried to explain. The financial terms went right over my head. J, you’ll probably get along great with him.”

“Wait, this Logan, he wouldn’t happen to be Logan Berry would he?” the question came from the least expected source, Remus.

“Yes? How in the world-“

Remus held up a finger, pulling out their phone and tapping at it frantically. Finally, they held it up to show an Instagram page. To be specific, their twin’s Instagram page.

“What’s Roman got to do with this?”

Remus pointed at the first picture, which depicted Roman with two people at a coffee shop. Virgil squinted.

“That’s- that’s Logan sitting with him.”

“Apparently you’re dating my brother’s bestie. Well, one of them, anyway.”

“We really do live in some really shitty soap opera.” Janus dramatically flopped back. Remus patted him consolingly on the shoulder.

Virgil, seeing his chance, stood up, ready to make his escape.

“You can go now, but don’t think we won’t be after you for deets later.” Re called as he left.

Virgil groaned good-naturedly, but inside he was giddy as a kid on Halloween. His friends remained brilliant as ever, and now he was free to gush like he’d been dying to do for months. As he stepped into the sun, Virgil grinned. Things were good. Things were really good. And judging by the text he’d just gotten, things were about to get better. Virgil texted back and set off with a spring in his step. He had a date to get to.

#not countdown #ask #analogical #ficlet #my writing #tw swearing #if im missing a trigger tell me #so this wasn't where i thought this would go based on the prompt but i think i like where it ended up #also like logan doesn't even show so sorry if you were looking forward to him #i just. really thought the prompt would be something jan would say and ran with it #constructive critism welcome #don't hate please #also no need to apologize for sending in a prompt or an ask i love getting them so like #sorry it took so long for me to write I'm not that used to writing re and jan and also my schedule was wack #anywho the next one should take less time to write but no promises

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skeletalroses · 4 years ago

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I was going to submit this anonymously to one of the bigger aspec blogs but it got so long that I’d feel like a pain in the ass. I’m posting this because I’ve recently landed in a bit of a difficult situation in the vein of Just Aroace Things, and I’m not sure what to do or even how to feel. I’m hoping to get some advice from the community re: a topic that comes up from time to time---navigating roommate/housing situations as an aroace, particularly when your potential roommate’s romance fucks you over.

I met my best friend, A, our sophomore year of college when we got paired up via roommate lottery. We clicked right away and had a blast living together. Unfortunately it only lasted a year, since the best option for my major was to transfer to another campus while for her it was best to stay put. We’ve known each other for nine years now and live in different states, but we visit regularly and had always talked about living together again once we both moved away from our parents.

I’m aroace, sex- and romance-repulsed. A is super considerate and supportive of this. She even discovered recently that she’s demisexual (which she learned about while researching the symbolism of the asexual flag! On her own, completely unprompted! Because she thought it would help her understand me more! See? Super supportive!). She is, however, very, very alloromantic. Up until now this has just been one more facet of our overall odd-couple dynamic (I’m an Addams and she’s a Disney fairy), which has always been something we’ve laughed at and reveled in.

A couple months ago, however, A moved out of her parents’ place and in with her boyfriend of a few years. I’m still with my parents, which suits me fine for the time being, but I eventually want to move out. Like I said, A and I have long talked about living together. We never made any specific plans, but I’ve asked her before to verify that yes, this is a thing we’re both Actually down to do when the time’s right. But that was a good while ago, before she moved in with Boyfriend. We visited last weekend and I brought up the subject again, because I’ve been unsure about it since that whole development.

“Feel free to say no; I won’t be offended; I just want to know how my options stand at this point. We’ve talked in the past about rooming together again. With Boyfriend in the picture now, is that still on the table?”

A’s answer: “Boyfriend has a lot of anxiety, so probably not. Sorry. He doesn’t even like having his family stay over. You’re welcome to stay a few days but not for like weeks on end.”

This was a calm conversation had over cocktails in the mall. She asked to make sure my parents weren’t threatening to kick me out or anything; I assured her that they weren’t, and I wasn’t moving anytime soon, and it’s okay that my rooming with her is out.

Only I’m not that okay with it. I wasn’t confident she’d say yes, but I did kind of think it was likely, and moreover I’m realizing how much I was unconsciously banking on that plan. I’ve been sans income during the pandemic, and I have a fuckton of economic anxiety to begin with. A’s a STEM major in a big city who easily found a solidly-paying job right out of college. She gets promotions and raises and shit. I’m a humanities major in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere where all my impressive qualifications (which I do have) can’t get me anything with a living wage below management level, let alone something in my field. And I’m never going to have that built-in cohabitant in the form of a romantic or sexual partner that allos like A can take for granted. A was the person I could split costs with so as to maybe live semi-decently with someone compatible. Without her, my chances of having that have plummeted.

And it’s all because she got a romosexual partner. This guy who’s known her half as long as I have; who never worked her through the trials and eventual breakup of her previous long-term, engaged-to-be-engaged relationship; who has himself caused her massive amounts of grief, suffering, and sometimes outright danger through his inability to competently handle the drama in his personal life that should never have touched her, all while her mother would write letters to me asking me to come visit because, actual quote, A only smiles when I’m around. He was the reason she would be too depressed to function, and I had to long-distance therapize her through it even though she refused to take the basic step of leaving this grown-ass man at least until he got his shit together, because “he needs me.”

It’s like this dude calls the shots in A’s and my relationship now. I hadn’t seen her in seven months because every time we planned a weekend to hang out, it’d get canceled because Boyfriend wanted to go see his family or something (and he can’t do that without her, I fucking guess). Even this last visit got cut down to overnight when it was supposed to be the long weekend, because Boyfriend wanted to make other plans. And now my best option for future living arrangements is apparently down the shitter because of him. It’d have been one thing if A doesn’t want to live with me anymore because she and he need their allo space or whatever the fuck couples do (still amatonormative and lousy for me). But as far as I understand, it’s not even that. It’s not her. It’s Boyfriend. A and I can be planning something for the two of us for weeks, for months, for years, then it all goes away in a minute because ehh, it kinda cramps Boyfriend’s style. I’m, as A called me, her “best friend soulmate.” I Was Here First. I never fucking made her cry. But I can’t kiss her or fuck her, so I automatically take a backseat to the one who can. I don’t need to be her Number One, but I don’t appreciate being pushed aside at Boyfriend’s every whim.

A, I’m sure, doesn’t realize how it looks from my angle. I know she cares about me and doesn’t want me to feel devalued. She’s just an oblivious alloro. I’m not even sure Boyfriend’s intentionally hogging her. (To be clear, I don’t think he’s a bad person; I’ve only met him a handful of times but I reliably clock my friends’ truly shitty partners on less. I haven’t heard about any crises in the past year or so, so I guess he’s finally managing his baggage well enough that A’s life can go smoothly and not suck.) I’m not unsympathetic to anxiety either; I’m chronically mentally ill and I’ve had my share. And I get we’re little more than strangers at this point. But I hate that he can just singlehandedly veto me and A rooming together ever. It’s much more of a blow to my likely quality of life than he or A---or tbh even I did, before this point---realize.

I hate feeling like I’m being jealous and needy. Maybe A just genuinely likes him better and it’s not only an amatonormative thing. I know I’m not entitled to live with her; it’s not like we promised or anything. But the option getting shut down really made me realize how much I resent not having it, and how much I kind of resent Boyfriend in general.

Which brings me to the asking-for-advice part, to the maybe two people who’ve read this far. Aspecs on here have talked about how amatonormativity fucks over single people and especially aros in terms of housing and life in general. Has anyone dealt with a situation like mine? How do you manage the amatonormative behavior of people in your life snatching your prospects out from under you, or feeling like it has? Is my reaction even reasonable? If so, how should I bring it up to A? This would be the closest thing we’ve ever had to a conflict, and also I’m...not great at being vulnerable. I can’t even vagueblog about these topics because my social media presence is limited to Tumblr and hers to Facebook. Hell, maybe I should just forget it for now, since I’m not changing housing anytime soon anyway, and cross that bridge when I get to it. I wouldn’t ask her to leave him, since their relationship seems to be going a lot smoother than it had been. But goddamn, am I filled with aroace salt about this.

#aromantic #amatonormativity #arophobia #asexual #aroace #might delete this later #sorry about the rant #why this is hell nor am I out of it

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luvlyrv · 4 years ago

Text

Our Songs | pt. 3 | Wendy x f!Reader sm!au

Summary: You and Wendy are rising musicians who are garnering attention. As the both of you decide to begin working on writing songs together, will you catch each other’s attention too?

Series Masterlist

You perk up at the sound of a knock at your door. You leave behind your notebook where you had been scribbling notes and song lyrics as you get up to answer the door. You open your door to Wendy in a cute simple dress.

"Oh hey Wendy!" You said with a smile growing on your face.

Wendy eyes you up and down and laughs a little bit. "I feel like I'm a bit dressed up compared to you." You look down and are reminded of the fact that you were wearing a loose t-shirt and your favorite sweatpants.

"Oh I'm sorry! I forgot to dress up. I just find it easier to work when I'm in really comfortable clothes. I hope you don't mind?" You say in an apologetic tone, feeling a bit embarrassed that you looked so… musty compared to Wendy.

"No, no! Don't worry about it. I think you pull it off. You could probably pull off wearing a literal garbage bag if you wanted to."

"Hey, don't start putting ideas in my head." You joke with her, feeling a bud of happiness when you hear a sweet and soft laugh come out of her. You step to the side and allow Wendy to come into your small and admittedly a bit cluttered apartment.

"Sorry, my apartment is like, 90% studio."

"Well, I can admire your dedication to your work." Wendy begins to walk around, inspecting all the instruments being held in racks around your home. She stops for a second.

"Hey, isn't this the new guitar you got recently?"

You nod a bit in surprise, it was kind of unbelievable that Wendy watched your channel the way you watched hers.

"I really like the tone of it. Your hands are really mesmerizing when you play guitar, Y/N." Wendy is inspecting your guitar with a gentle look. You can't help but to feel a bit bashful with her compliment as you admire her side profile.

You shake your head out of the thought. "Ah, anyways, how about we go inside my room? That's where all the real fun is at." Wendy quirks an eyebrow up.

"Where the equipment is, I mean."

She follows you into your room, with one small bed squished up into a corner with the rest of the space being taken up by your equipment. You sat at your chair at your desk, being greeted once again by your notebook. You point at a small squishy stool nearby for Wendy to sit on. At the very least, you had some extra seating for your guest today.

"So," you begin asking, "what have you come up with so far?"

"Ah, it's a bit embarrassing to share lyrics with other people. No matter how many times I've done it before."

You try to shoot her a reassuring look. "Hey, I understand the feeling, I just want you to know I won't judge. I mean after all, I have to share my lyrics too you know? Which by the way, sorry in advance for them being half-baked."

Once again you feel a little tinge of happiness as you see some tension leaving your partner's body. She pulls out her phone and begins scrolling. She scoots closer to you so you can both look at her phone together as she begins describing some of her song ideas.

"This one is called Stopwatch. I wanted to capture the idea of living your life through the motions, you know? Everything goes by so fast until you find someone who makes you think for a second and stop time. You slow down for them so you can learn about them and spend time with them."

Wendy nervously glances from her phone to you. She watches as you read through the lyrics intently, feeling relieved when she watches a small smile building on your face.

"Out of all your ideas, all of them are great by the way, this is my favorite." You half whisper while still scrolling through and reading through the rest of her lyrics. Hearing your praise made Wendy let out her own smile.

"Now can I see yours?"

You look away from her phone, with your face contorted into an anxious looking mess. You begin rubbing at the back of your neck.

"I mean, yeah. I just don't know how well they'd hold up against yours." You say with nervous laughter.

"Don't worry about it Y/N! I've heard your lyrics before. I'm sure these will be just as great as those." Wendy places a hand on your arm, making you release a sigh. You look back at her before swiveling to grab your notebook and showing it to her.

Just like Wendy did for you, you walked her through the concepts and ideas you were trying to work with, You described the kinds of emotion you wanted to convey. Unlike what Wendy showed you though, you had less complete songs and more blurbs.

"I don't know why I couldn't piece a full song together. I guess I'm getting a bit of a block at a very inconvenient time. Sorry about that."

Wendy just shakes her head at your statement. "No, don't worry about it. I get it. I think even if they're not completed, all the lines you did write down really resonate with me and do their job well. I'm sure we can find a way to piece most of them together and combine them with mine to create something really emotional."

You feel comforted by her statement and flipped your notebook to a blank page. "Let's start figuring out what we do want to keep then, and the lyrics of the five songs we wanna make."

Hours and hours go by surprisingly quick. The both of you had sang to each other, throwing around different ideas for melodies and beats. By the end of it all, both of your throats were a bit sore, but at the very least you had finished getting a skeleton of an idea of what you wanted for each song.

Wendy glanced at the corner of your monitor to check the time. Her eyes widened as she saw it displaying 10 PM.

"Ah geez, we've worked a lot today, Y/N. I think it's time I should go back home before it gets insanely dark." Wendy rises from her stool, only for her stomach to immediately emit a loud growl. You look up at her.

"S-sorry."

You just laugh at the situation, it was a laugh that didn't feel mean but rather welcoming to Wendy. "Don't worry, that's what happens when you work for like, 6 hours straight. How about you stay for dinner? I'm hungry myself and don't mind cooking you anything."

For some reason, the girl's heart began to beat just a little bit faster. She felt like she couldn't say no to the kindness in your eyes, so after a couple seconds of deliberation she gave you her answer. "Sure, that would be nice."

To be brutally honest, Wendy did not expect much. She half-expected you to microwave some ramen for the both of you or something, but instead she was pleasantly surprised by the delicious looking meal you had laid before her.

She couldn't help but stare at the food you made. She thought that maybe it would be a sin to eat something so beautiful looking. You're already beginning to eat from your plate when you realize Wendy hadn't touched her food at all. You began to worry.

"Is there something wrong? Should I make something else?"

Wendy left her trance and looked up from her plate to your worried eyes. "Oh, no, no, I just… I'm just impressed Y/N. Thank you for this meal. Really!"

You focus back on your plate, and luckily for Wendy the food tasted just as good as it looked. She savored every bite up until she was finished. At the point, the both of you were full, and Wendy's eyes began to feel heavy as the food coma began to kick in. Her body was just begging to get all comfortable and warm to fall asleep.

With a bit of shame Wendy decided to ask, "Is it okay if I spend the night here…? Sorry, I'm just… so tired now."

"Hm? Of course you can. Do you want to shower? I think we're both kinda gross right now."

"I didn't really intend to stay the night. I don't have any clothes to change into."

You get up and go into your room, only to quickly go back to Wendy with a pair of pajamas in hand.

"Well you do now."

"But it's-"

You just push her towards the bathroom and gave her a towel to dry herself off with. "See you later, stinky."

As Wendy showers, you pick out your clothes and your own towel. Then you get to making your bed in preparation of having Wendy sleep there tonight.

When the sound of rushing water stopped, Wendy came out wearing your large dog-patterned pajamas. You point her towards your bed. "Feel free to go ahead and sleep."

She shakes her head at you. "Hey, I'm the guest here, I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."

You stop her from leaving your room and just stare at her. "That's exactly why I want you sleeping on a comfortable bed rather than my shitty couch."

"I'm sure the couch is fine. It's your bed, Y/N."

You just stare.

And stare.

And-

"Okay fine." Wendy grumbles and makes her way towards the corner of your room. Once again she felt like she couldn't refuse you.

You go ahead and shower, and by the time you're finished Wendy is passed out cold on the bed. You can't help but to smile a little. You go outside to sleep on the couch, not before setting an alarm for early in the morning though.

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wonder-kid-pugh · 4 years ago

Text

The One - (Kelley O'Hara x reader)

Honestly guys it's been a long and shitty day right now and the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow isn't helping. I need some positivity right now so I hope you enjoy this. Many of you asked for a part 2 so here it is!

"I'm disappointed in you"

I narrow my eyes at my son, "Shut up Sonnett". Sonnett throws her arms up, "But you were supposed to be the ultimate frat daddy! You were supposed to be single forever. You were my role model!" I rub the palms of my hands into my eyes, "Go away Sonnett". She goes to retort again but is silenced by Alex, "Leave her alone Sonny". Sonnett sighs and slumps in her chair.

I start to play with my food pushing in around my plate when I spot Christen smirking at me, "What?" She just shrugs with a smile on her face, "Nothing. Just have never seen you so hung up on a girl before. Your completely whipped". "I am not whipped!" I shout at her but she grins, "So your saying that if she called, you wouldn't drop everything and go hang out with her?"

Before I could even answer my phone rings. I dig my phone out of my pocket mumbling but internally curse when I see who it is. Alex laughs, "Looks like we'll find out now won't we?" I glare at my best friend as I answer my phone, "Hey".

"Hey wanna meet up today?" She asks. I sigh rubbing my forehead who glaring at Christen who is smirking at me. "If your busy it's cool" she says. "No no it's okay. I'm free today. What do you wanna do?" I say while giving my teammates the finger as they giggle at me.

"Well I was thinking coffee but I'm easy" she answers. "Your anything but easy" I mutter. "What was that?" She asks and I can already imagine her raises her damn eyebrow at me. "Nothing nevermind" I shrug, "yeah coffee sounds good". "Cool I'll see you in a bit" she answers. I sigh, "See you in a bit".

I lean back in my chair and narrow my eyes at my teammates who all look at me with shit eating grins, "Shut up".

---

"Are you sure your okay?" She asks me for around the fifth time that day. I nod slightly giving her a small smile, "Yeah I'm good". She squints her eyes at me, "You sure? You've been acting.....weird". I cough and sit up straighter, "Yeah I'm sure. Anyways how was your date?"

She immediately scoffs before taking a sip of her coffee, "Horrible. She was a bitch. Way too clingy as well". I have to hide my smile behind me cup as I go to take a drink. She shrugs, "The sex was good though". I choke, "You still slept with her?" She grins at me with a shrug, "She was hot. I mean like really hot Kels. Definitely wouldn't do it again with her though".

I bite the inside of my cheek and nod. "What about you? Have you been seeing anyone recently?" She asks. I shake my head as I drum my fingers on the table, "No been kinda busy lately I guess". She smirks at me, "Sure your just not going through a dry season?" I roll my eyes and kick her shin under the table, "Shut up and no. I've just been busy. Haven't really found the time".

She just smirks while drinking her coffee. I bite my lip, "Can I ask you something?" She just nods while I sigh and look at her, "Why don't you date?" The smile disappears from her face while she leans back into her seat, "Because Love's a trick. It's not real. Everyone talks about the fairytale love where they end up happily ever after but that's a lie. It just doesn't happen like in the movies".

I scrunch my eyebrows, "Well yeah obviously it's not going to be like in the movies or the books but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist". "Then why do people cheat? Why do people get divorced?" She challenges. I shake my head, "It just means they haven't found the one for them". "What if they don't have The One for them?" She asks. "Everyone has someone for them" I say confidently. "Not me" she shakes her head.

I frown as I reach across the table and put my hand on hers, "Everyone has someone for them. Even me and most definitely you. You just have to give it time".

They may be closer than you think

She gives me a small smile but it doesn't reach her eyes, "I'll believe it when I see it". Deciding to be a bit bold I lace my fingers with her's but she doesn't pull away instead she just smiles and rubs her thumb over my knuckles letting a warm feeling wash over me.

What is she doing to me?

I clear my throat making her look up at me but doesn't move away our hands, "Uh I was wondering if you wanted to come to my match in a few days?" She just nods, "Yeah I would love too". "I thought you didn't believe in Love" I joke but all I earn is an eye roll.

"Shut it O'Hara"

---

"Stop staring Lover girl" Allie teases. "Shut it Worms" I whisper as I start walking towards her, "Hey Y/n". She looks up from her phone and smiles at me, "Hey Kels". I nod towards the field, "Wanna meet the team?" She shrugs, "Why not?" I help her down before we walk over to the team, "Guys this is Y/n. Y/n this is the team". Sonnett steps up right in front of Y/n before circling her looking her up and down. Her face is neutral until stops in front of her and looks at me, "Okay I understand".

Y/n looks at me weirdly while I shrug at her but when she turns around I glare at Sonnett who shrinks back. "So your the woman wormie keeps talking about" Allie grins. Y/n just turns on me and smirk, "Talking about me O'Hara?" Before I could defend myself Christen speaks up, "All the time". Y/n raises her eyebrow at Christen, "Your teammates are hot Kels". She sends a wink at Christen who flushes red but gets pulled back by Tobin who glares at Y/n. I roll my eyes, "Keep it in your pants L/n". "That your first time saying it to someone else O'Hara?" She shoots back making the team laugh while Becky rubs her temples, "God there's two of them".

My eyes widen as her eyes lock on Becky and her mouth opens but I leap at her and cover her mouth with my hand, "No!" But I quickly pull it away and wipe it on my shorts, "Ew gross! You licked me!" She raises her eyebrows at me, "You didn't complain about it last time". Sonnett cackles behind me while there is a mix of amusement and disgust.

"WAIT!" We all turn to Sonnett who points at Y/n, "So Kelley is a bottom?" My eyes widen but I can't stop her before she's already talking, "Awe that's so cute! You think she tops?" I grab her wrist, "Okay that's enough". I drag her away from the team and towards the tunnel instantly regretting introducing her to the team, "I will never live that down".

I distract myself by looking at her and I can't help but grin, "You look good in my jersey". She smirks as she comes in extremely close making me back up against a wall, "Well we already knew I looked good in your clothes". She leans in so she's right next to my ear and places a small kiss right behind it, "But I think we both know you like me better without them".

I have to hold myself back from letting out a groan as I shiver, "Fuck". She grins brushing a stray strand of hair away from my face, "Maybe later". She sends me a wink before walking down the tunnel.

This girl is going to be the death of me

---

"Do you really believe that there's someone out there for everyone?" She asks as we while in bed later that day. (Fully clothed you pervs). I roll over onto my side and nod, "Yes". She turns and looks at me, "Even me?" I grab her by her waist and roll her over so we're face to face, "Especially you".

I look into her eyes, "Where is this coming from?" She sighs and closes her eyes briefly before opening them up again but they look dull. They don't have their usual spark of mischief that makes them twinkle and shine. "Growing up I had let's say a warped sense of love. Parents always fighting making each other miserable all the time. Dad was stepping out on my mom a lot. They were so busy fighting each other that they barely noticed I existed. Forcing me to grow up fast. Then the first real girlfriend I had fucked me up even more".

She sniffs as tears start to well up in her eyes, "She was abusive. Degraded me for anything and everything. And all the while she was making me feel shitty about myself, she was sleeping around with different people". A tear falls but I quickly wipe it away as she takes a shaky breath and tries to play it off with a small laugh, "Eventually I got my head out if my ass and finally left and never looked back". She looks me directly in the eyes, "After that I just stopped believing in love. Love is full of lies and deceit and only ends in pain so why bother. Don't get attached and you can't get hurt".

I frown and wipe her cheeks with the pad of my thumbs, "I'm sorry you didn't deserve any of that". She sniffs and wipes the tip of her nose off the back of her hand, "Nothing you can do about it. It happened". I take her face in my hands, "I'm sorry that happened to you. But that doesn't mean you can't find love. It just means they were idiots for not seeing how amazing you are".

I pause and lick my lips before throwing caution to the wind. "Fuck it" I think before I take a deep breath. "Let me show you what you deserve" I murmur. She scans my face before I slowly lean in and kiss her. I take the kiss slow and pour everything I have into it trying desperately to show how much I care for the girl in my arms.

Eventually we break apart both breathing heavy. "Give me 30 days" I breathe out, "Give me 30 days to show you what real love is like. If after 30 days I don't change your mind, I'll drop it and I'll never bring it up again". She looks at me hard, "Why are you doing this?" I let out a sigh and run my hand through my hair before looking back down at her.

"Because I think I love you"

#kelley o hara #kelley o hara x reader #kelley o hara imagines #kelley o hara imagine #kelley o'hara #uswnt imagines #uswnt imagine #uswnt

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cherryonigiri · 5 years ago

Note

Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (Matukawa’s hcs are below the cut - UPDATE TUMBLR IS NOT LETTING ME PUT THE CUT WHERE I WANT IT SO JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS IMPLIED/SLIGHT NSFW FOR THE LAST 2 CHARACTERS